#march asd

[wanderingmind867]

I will not celebrate the ides of march. My goal is merely not to get so annoyed by it that I make an angry post about it that makes me become ostracized. Because really, why are you celebrating Julius Caesar's death? The man has been dead for years, let him sleep! Let the poor man rest! How would you feel if you were only remembered because people joked about killing you? Yeah, it's not a pleasant thought. And I will not budge on this. It's stupid. Always will be, and I can't stand it.

[creepykuroneko]

New rule. No one in the online neurodivergent community is allowed to use the word "spectrum" until they actually learn what that means and understand what it looks like in the real world.

[doubtful-player]

Moving In – Part 3 of ? (Sickness And Catch-up)

Howdy guys! Little #blog post today. Haven't made one in a while, and you'll see at least 25% why in-post. Hoping this is part 3 of 4 in the #movinghouse series, because I'm almost there!

Hah… 16th of January… Let me try to think of what’s happened since. On the 14th of December, I got really sick with what I initially thought was the flu. I had shivering, fever-like symptoms. Aching and general fatigue. I had to take the next day off of work. I had 3 regular days off after that, so my timely sick day turned it into a 4 day “holiday” where I managed to recover… or so I…

[tumbler-polls]

[ask-sonata-dusk]

February/March 2024 Update: Extended Hiatus

Hey guys!

So, ASD’s hiatus might be a bit longer than I expected…

You see, I think my life is starting to take a bit more of a different direction than it originally did, with the main reason is me considering making my first Visual Novel (which is based on a canon series that I know). So of course, it's going to require a lot of practice, watching tutorial videos, time, effort, and dedication. However, I am uncertain about the exact amount of time it will take. While I would like to believe that I can manage both a VN and ASD simultaneously, the truth is that it won't be easy. Therefore, I have decided to focus solely on my visual novel project as it would be more manageable for me.

I hate to make this decision, but as I’ve said countless times before (sorry 😅), the truth is that ASD is based on a story that has ended long ago. Although I don't want to let go of ASD yet, I want to focus on developing this new Visual Novel, in which I plan to work on alone also as an indie developer. This project may take a few months to a year, or even longer. Therefore, I must be honest and say that I don't know exactly when I'll be back (or if I am coming back). I want to come back, but it will take longer than one month. So, I'm technically going on an indefinite hiatus, but I hope to return to ASD in the future.

You are still allowed to send asks, but this blog might be inactive for quite a while, or at least the story itself will take a break. Maybe I’ll come back within time to post some EQG & ASD-related art from time to time. Now, do I recommend that you unfollow me? No, I don’t. I mean, I wouldn’t want you to. However, it wouldn’t be right to hold you here either 😅 So the choice is solely yours.

If your still looking for some Sonata Dusk askblog content, I recommend @sunsets-serenade. It’s the only MLP/EQG blog that I know it’s still active at this point. So all in all, the Ask Sonata Dusk story is on a semi-indefitnite hiatus, but it might post from time to time for art. I’ll let you guys know when I’ll return to continue the story!

Thank you everyone for following Ask Sonata Dusk for all these years. I hope to return soon one day!

- @ask-sonata-dusk Moderator

If you to reach me, contact or follow @misssakurapetal27

Please take care everyone 💖

[theeccentricraven]

My Writing Journey

I'm still writing my NaNoWriMo Novel in late March, with April right around the corner. Almost 200,000 words now.

How did I get here?

I chose to be a writer when I was eleven. By the time I was eighteen, I had three incomplete novels, a thick packet of writing notes, and a long list of story ideas I wanted to write before I died. I also had a short attention span that I can blame on my ADHD and ASD, a declining love for reading due to required school reading, and competition with distractions like the internet/social media. I was able to devote a good deal of my spare time on my prize WIP, a unique fantasy titled The Keeper of Maralla. I didn't spend as much time writing as I should have. My writing confidence was low. After I earned my first bachelor's degree in Child Development, several amazing things happened. First, I worked briefly as a custodian (aka janitor or caretaker depending on what part of the world you're in) when I got the idea for my current primary WIP, The Blood Cleaners. At that time, I thought TBC would be an urban fantasy. A few years later, I realized the story worked best as a post-apocalyptic dystopia. I personally feel that you don’t find the stories; the stories find you. Such was the case with TBC. Then, in 2008, I won my first NaNoWriMo when I wrote the first draft of The Star House Club, an MG/YA urban fantasy. It meant the world to me when I finally had a complete novel in my hands, even if the writing was really bad. My next complete novel was finished in 2009, a Christian historical fiction novel called Miriam and Yosef. Then, from 2010 to 2011, I wrote my first really long novel, my sci-fi first contact story called Columbus Day. It was 170,000 words long! The best part was when I wrote my first complete second draft by rewriting Columbus Day. I saw how rewriting really can make things better, even if only a little better. It was also at this time that I earned my second bachelor's degree. I earned my post-baccalaureate degree in English. Then, things kind of shattered. I lost all of my confidence in my writing. I almost gave up completely. I also stopped reading. I've learned that the less you read, the worse your writing is. I went nearly a decade without reading and writing. There were some pluses that happened during that time, such as getting a technical writing job with my current employer. For the most part, I had little ambition and few goals. That was until early 2023, I experienced some epiphanies. I went through some religious/spiritual experiences that allowed me to realize I was meant to be a writer. I needed to get my ideas down on paper before I died or else the world would never know them. I opened up my old writing notes to get to work. I thought about which of my WIP's I would make my primary WIP. It was hard when I felt passionate about a half dozen of them, knowing I would regret failing to finish and publish either. I was hit hard with reality when insomnia hit me. I had been in denial about my need to read. Just as I had to get back to writing, I had to get back to reading. I wanted to say I had read enough and needed to spend time writing. When I discovered reading was the best medicine for insomnia, I realized what I needed to do for both my physical health and writing health. I read about 15 books in 2023. The more I read, the better my writing got. My best read was Scott Westerfeld’s Uglies, a book that reminded me of why I love the dystopia genre. By July, I made the decision to focus on The Blood Cleaners. I spent four months brainstorming and outlining. I began drafting in November for NaNoWriMo. I wrote 50,000 words in 30 days, but the story wasn't over. That brings me to where I am now. My manuscript is almost 200,000 words long. I hope to finish in the next few days. I can’t wait to rewrite and cut this thing. Writing is hard, but it's worth it. My journey isn't over, obviously. I can’t wait to see where this journey goes.

[theredmaynefiles]

My Story: A Journey of Loss & Depression

Let me start by saying this isn't a blog about Eddie. I'm not sure why I'm even posting this here, except that for the longest time, I've needed some sort of outlet for some of the things I'm struggling with... and as this is my only blog, I guess this is it. Maybe someone out there will read this & be able to relate. Maybe it will help explain why my blog on Eddie has gone largely silent. Or maybe no one will even notice. Whatever. I need to get this out.

So first of all, hey there, I'm Marci. You know me as an Eddie Redmayne blogger, but I'm also a mom to a son who has ASD & a person who has dealt with what seems - to me, at least - to have been a lot of crap to cope with over the past 8 years. And I've reached a point where coping is more like just existing but more on that in a bit. Maybe.

My dad was always the strongest person I've ever known. He wasn't perfect, but he was one of those dads that could fix anything & always knew the answers to anything you want to know. In October 2013, my dad was diagnosed with cancer - specifically non-Hodgkins lymphoma. My family wasn't new to this particular diagnosis, as my brother, Jeff, was diagnosed with the same cancer in 1999. At this point, Jeff was considered in remission after successfully completing chemo & radiation treatment. So we thought we knew what to expect. Thing is, dad's cancer was in his stomach (my brother's started in his neck) & it was extremely aggressive. I became my father's caregiver. Besides cancer, he was diabetic & dealing with kidney failure. We saw doctors 3-5 times a week for the next year+. My dad went through 3 different types of chemo, including one clinical trial. None of it made any difference, and the cancer continued to spread. In January 2015, he was put on hospice, & in May 2015, my dad died. I wasn't entirely unprepared for this - I mean he was on hospice, & I've worked at a hospital & nursing home, & seen how this sort of things goes many times, but seeing it happen to your own dad - & someone who was so freaking strong - was really rough. It was a horrible experience.

After dad passed, a lot of things changed. Jake & I moved into a house my dad had left us, leaving my mom (with whom I'd always had a very complicated relationship, to say the least) on her own. In late 2016, while watching 'Fantastic Beasts', Jake suddenly exclaimed, "Mom, Newt is autistic like me!" It caught my interest, & my blog was born of it. For the next year & a half or so, it was an amazing creative outlet for me. Eddie is an incredibly talented actor & a truly kind-hearted human being, who actually makes it a point to connect with his fans. I've spoken to him a few times during the fan interviews, & he even wrote me a letter during the pandemic, which was both shocking & awesome. To be honest, though, the best thing about my blog was meeting Charlotte, AKA @bespokeredmayne, who has become one of my dearest friends, & is an amazing person in her own right. (total shout out there!)

My mom didn't cope well with my dad’s passing, & in March 2018, she had a stroke. She died less than a month later. I've already said we had a complicated relationship - without going into that much more, my mom was a narcissist who enjoyed hurting people. My feelings about her are still not great, even after she's been gone for over 5 years. I have a lot of guilt about that, but it is what it is. What I don't understand is why, after she died, my creativity died, too. I couldn't blog anymore. Mind you, at this same time, I was dealing with some health issues - I'd been having mobility issues, which I started seeing a doctor for in early 2018, but mom's sudden passing kind of shunted all of that to the side. Still, I can't even begin to explain the way things changed for me, much less to understand why I was so affected.

The next year was okay, we went to England, which was a lifelong dream, & things seemed like they were mostly going well enough, despite my increasing mobility issues as well as memory issues. While sorting through all our parents' stuff to get their house ready to sell, my brother, Jeff, and I became closer - we'd always been reasonably close, I guess. We got along well as siblings, despite an age gap of just over 10 years (he was older). He'd looked out for me when I was  little & we were friends as adults, which is more than either of us could say about our other sibling, who has been estranged from us both since the 90s. So, yeah... we were pretty close.

So I mentioned about mobility issues, memory issues, etc. I had thought that at least part of this was some kind of ongoing complications from a car wreck I was in back in '95. Turns out, it wasn't - I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis 3 years ago. In the time since then, with the pandemic in full swing for much of the time, I became homebound. Besides the MS, I have asthma, & also a vaccine allergy. Between that & the autoimmune disease, I cannot be vaccinated, & I am at high rick for severe covid because of my health. Ironic, no? Add that to my increasing mobility issues & my life became more & more isolated.

The summer of 2021, my brother, in his 50s at the time, was diagnosed with heart failure. The cardiologist he was referred to said this was likely a complication of the chemo he'd had years earlier. In December 2021, just a few days before my birthday, he texted me that he was going to the e/r - this was around 2 in the morning. He texted me one more time after that, & then... nothing. I kept trying to get ahold of him, or the hospital, to find out what was going on, but no one answered until about 4 hours later, when I finally got someone at the e/r. To my absolute shock, she told me my brother was dead. He died less than an hour after his last text to me, of a sudden cardiac arrest. I couldn't believe it. I still can't believe it. To this day, I cannot really cope with it. I don't know why it's hit me so hard - I see people who cope with loss & move on, & I did that with my parents, but this one, I couldn't. It was like it was too much, losing both parents & then my brother. It has destroyed me in some way. I'm not the person I was before. So much loss, & then everything else....

One the day my brother died, I went to the hospital to say goodbye to him. I didn't leave my house again until about 4 weeks ago when our cat needed the emergency vet. For a year & a half, I stayed home. (& I haven’t gone out again since bringing our cat home) I work from home as a data analyst. I pay my bills online, & have my groceries, etc, delivered. The only person I see is Jake. My world is so isolated & so depressing. I'm very limited in what I can physically do & that adds massively to the depression. Plus, & this will probably sound selfish, but it's true nonetheless, ever since my brother died, I've felt this sense of impending doom & hopelessness. Like I'm next & it's only a matter of time. I don't know what to do about any of it. I sit here, in my messy house (I hate mess, but I can't physically do most of the cleaning, & Jake doesn't really do cleaning, despite being a huge help to me in other ways) & I exist. Nothing much changes from one day to the next. I feel not only so depressed, but such a horrible anxiety about my life, & about what will happen to Jake if something happens to me. And yet I feel totally helpless to do anything to change any of it. I just feel so emotionally exhausted all the time, like I can't cope with anything at all.

So, yeah... that's me. If you've made it this far, you're probably either bored to tears or disgusted with my moaning. Still, if you've read this, thanks. If anyone reads it, at least I'm not keeping it all to myself anymore. Maybe offloading all of this here will somehow make it easier for me to cope with it. Either way, it's out!

[asters-random-sideblog]

hey guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

my name is aster.

my pronouns are she/her/they/them.

my main is @anxiety-lemsbian

If you want other blogs to follow my art/music sideblog is @phoebes-bridges

i love musicals, especially hamilton, matilda and heathers

my comfort movies are mamma mia and high school musical

likes: cats, phoebe bridgers, finland, vintage teacups, watercolours, music, bracelets, queer people, radio silence, taylor swift, rain, cardigans, knitted vests, embroidery, green, lorde, dangerfield, drawing, quirky stuff, ducks, stars, girls, tumblr, tacos, art, ballgowns, long skirts, oversized shirts/jumpers, sweetpeas, rainbows, alice oseman, daisies, mochi, lily of the valley, eliza and the delusionals, pale sunlight, typewriters, rotary phones, earrings, like three people, lavender, floral scented soaps/conditioners, peppermint lip balm, blue eyes, the texture of velvet, being alone, apple pie, gilmore girls, people using my correct pronouns, heartstopper, little women, reading, nice pink watermelon, british accents, a flower fairies treasury, sarcasm, sunflowers, the ocean when it’s raining or dark, stuff that’s naturally grey (rainclouds, etc.) lemon iced tea, frances janvier, spanish, macarons, bubble tea

dislikes: math, global warming, migraines, the sun, tight clothes, pimples, homophobia, spiders, racism, transphobia, shitty people, terfs, aphobia, tiktok, wasps, watermelon when it’s too red and floury, my father, school, most people, being bad at spanish, being alone when I feel people will judge me for it, depression, anxiety, people being ignorant, my mother, drunk people, smokers, feeling uncomfortable, most men, vomit, rejection, being delusional

i’m a minor

i speak un peqeño español and i love cats

my pronouns page:

i love osemanverse but im especially addicted to radio silence, solitare and loveless (i kin frances sm)

im gay (in a sapphic way)

BETH MARCH STAN OMG

love love love darcy olsson and sam kerr lol

i loveeeee enola holmes

im in love with the one bracelet i own

i have depression and anxiety, and probably asd and adhd

feel free to drop into my inbox at any time i love getting asks

i like sleeping

this is a list of songs i claim as my own:

liability, ribs, no better, stoned at the nail salon and sober II (melodrama) by lorde

happiness is a butterfly and cinnamon girl by lana del rey

not strong enough, anticurse, letter to an old poet and true blue by boygenius

meteor shower by cavetown

the story of us, seven, illicit affairs, you’re on your own kid, would’ve could’ve should’ve, if this was a movie , hoax, i don’t wanna live forever, right where you left me, i can see you, invisible string, the lakes, mirrorball and this is me trying by taylor swift

motion sickness, moon song, graceland too, garden song, kyoto and i know the end by phoebe bridgers

watch you sleep and rue by girl in red

there it goes and you’re just a boy (and i’m kinda the man) by maisie peters

summer child by conan gray

all-american bitch, brutal, deja vu, lacy, bad idea right?, hope ur ok, teenage dream, get him back! and good 4 u by olivia rodrigo

just exist and cigarette by eliza and the delusionals

ok i think im done

am i done?

i think imma make an aesthetic board actually

lets do it!!!!

also pls tell me if ur uncomfortable being called babe/darling/love

general DNI's apply, terfs, homophobes, transphobes, NSFW accounts etc etc

have a wonderful day i love you :)

[196-110]

Some stuff abt me ig

Minors DNI

This is not an ED blog, it's a diary. Buzz off and block me

Pr0 4n4'5 can fck off 🖕

22

Had an 3d for 10+ years

Diagnosed - BPD ASD ADD 3D PCOS FIBRO + more it's exhausting lmao

Trans-nb he/they

Stats

Height - 5"4

SW (May24) - 196

CW (June24) - 192

GW1 - 182

GW2 - 168

GW3 - 154

GW4 - 140

G Date - Nov-Dec (6mnth)

UGW - ?

G Date Feb-March?

I have to start off slow to avoid loose skin, a plateu, risk of giving up etc

It sucks but it's the best way for me to ensure this is the LAST time I have to do this. I have the control now

I do NOT encourage 3D behaviors. I never will. It's one of the horrible disorders that's ruined half of my life. If you are a minor or are in the early stages of this. RUN. It's a dangerous, DEADLY, permanently damaging disorder. It's not glamorous. It's not easy. It sucks the life out of you. It will. Ruin. Your. Life.

Please seek help

Stay safe

[austerlitzborodinoleipzig]

Oh you went from volunteer to employee too?! Congrats! Is it the social worker with kids thing?

Close!

Three years ago I started what we call in France a civic service, which is when young people from 16 to 25 do volunteer work for various administrations/NGOs... Can be done in France, can be done abroad. It was basically introduced to replace military service, a middle ground between "we need to occupy the youth and have them contribute to society somehow but military service sounds to fash (nevermind that Macron is trying to reintroduce it now)".

I was volunteering for an organisation that accompanies disabled people. Originally I was supposed to work at a daycare for adults with ASD, but they proposed me to work in an ESAT and I foolishly agreed.

An ESAT (établissement et service d'aide par le travail) is a factory for mentally disabled people. And yes it's as bad as it sounds. And on top of that it was factory work and I was not paid and I had 3h20 of commute every day.

After two and a half months I asked to be transferred to the daycare which where I applied for in the first place.

I did the rest of my volunteering there and at the end my boss said that they liked my work but if I wanted to stay in that field I needed a social workers' degree.

There was also the fact that I had a master's degree in law which made me kinda overqualified for the job.

Initially I thought about getting the special educator degree but I had an excellent colleague who sat me down and screamed at me.

"you have a master's degree. You could be an attorney ffs. The fuck you're gonna waste your time being an educator. Aim higher become head of service"

Yeah but my boss thinks I'm too young...

How do you rate your bosses opinion?"

I didn't. When she asked me again I said I wanted to get the certification to be head of service in the social field.

They were opening another facility with a daycare and inclusive appartements. They were going to recruit a head of service anyway but they could use help so that's how I got my apprenticeship.

And then the head of service became vice-director and I got her position. I was acting head of service since march. Officially head of service since September 1st.

And I get to also run the daycare where I started.

So far I'm in charge of two daycares for people with neurodevelopmental disorders. 1, soon 2 inclusive appartements, and an outreach team. 30 workers. 44 beneficiaries. (So far).

[maccas-strawbi-sundae]

✨💗 September Goals 💗✨

Hey everyone! In Australia it is now spring! Thankfully that means it will be warming up soon and will mean that, once I am feeling a bit better that going out for a walk (or even playing at the park) will be achievable!

♥ Implementing more routines (e.g: skincare, outside time, cooking etc.)

♥ Having at least half an hour of mindfulness a day

♥ Clearing the bedroom

♥ Getting everything done and ready for my ASD assessment on the 27th (school reports, psychological reports, handwritten notes and transportation)

♥ Finalising certain aspects of the wedding

♥ Drinking more water every day

♥ Ensuring I take my medication

♥ Try some new recipes/meals

♥ Concise meal planning

These may appear as simple goals but, I feel everyone should have some kind of base level goal especially those that lack motivation (like myself) as it can feel quite rewarding once you have completed them! I actually was quite happy with myself a few days ago as I finally got through a thing of facial cleanser/exfoliator for the first time in a long time!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Also as an explanation that no one asked for, for the image below:

♥ My partner and I went to see the Winnie The Pooh musical on the 31st of last month, he bought me a Pooh plush and I adore it!

♥ I also collect Squishmallows so that bag showing up on my Instagram was an AH THEY HAVE PLUSH BAGS moment.

♥ I also got the pink barbed wire tattooed on my collarbone last month alongside my sternum tattoo so, that is visible alongside my currently unfavourable septum piercing (I got it in March before my birthday as I became enamoured with cows, the end came off of the last piercing so I have this octopus at the moment).

-💖💐

[tssdresses]

Hi y'all!

I hope everyone's had a good start to the new year so far. I'm solidly in week three of class, already behind, and having a grand old time.

Some little life updates from me, a "so far in my year," if you will:

Started doing yoga!

(Accidentally?) Joined a LARP group!

Ripped off half my pinkie nail (I am devastated).

Went to a doctor for ADHD testing, and they told me to go talk to their ASD specialist, which. Okay, fair.

Reacted poorly to mountain weather (fucking pressure fronts) and had a week-long headache! I plan to fight God shortly.

All in all, so far so good.

On to what y'all're really interested in, let's be honest:

The Dresses!

I'm working on getting the Roman Mini Project set up to finish, since I am so close to done! In short order, I need to:

Neaten up the skirt hem

Add in a waistband

Figure out the blouse top

Make a proper master post for the dang thing

Photoshoot!

Still aiming for the end of February to have that completed, tentatively thinking I might have it done by Valentine's Day (because Roman).

Orange Dress!

For the poll dress, I'm feeling much more into it and I'm super excited. I've got the design finalized (!!!) and just need to place a fabric order. I'll have a few more polls up in the coming weeks, so keep an eye out for those if you want a say in accessories and some light shenanigans!

Aiming for mid-March to have this project done! Hopefully the weather lightens up and I can do some cool photoshoots outside.

I've been itching to sew in the last few weeks, so here's hoping.

[scienceinenglish]

LSD1 inhibitor ameliorates autism-associated traits in new mouse model. We need to talk.

In findings published March 26 in Molecular Psychiatry, a team of researchers from Tokyo University, Juntendo University, and RIKEN report that they have successfully created a new mouse model of autism spectrum disorder in what they have named Kmt2c+/fs mice. Then things get weird.

Short version: The model worked even better than they thought it would. It seems this histone gene, which is only different in a small fraction of autistic humans, affects a large number of other genes also associated with autism. And then they gave the mice a drug that affects the histone, and it 1) changed the expression of those other autism genes and 2) made the mice act in a way that most people would call "a lot less autistic."

And we'd better start the hard conversations about that now.

They engineered the animals to have only one functioning copy of the lysine methyltransferase 2c (KMT2C) gene, which encodes one of the catalytic units of histone H3 lysine 4 (H3K4), instead of two. Histones are large molecules that act as spools when DNA coils up into its inactive state. They also allow the DNA to unspool so that it can be transcribed and produce the proteins and regulatory elements that keep living things running. A few people diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder have KMT2C haploinsufficiency, meaning that they have only one active gene, like the mice, but most autistic people have two active copies, like other humans.

When the mice were old enough to run a maze, the researchers ran exercises to assess their sociability, rigidity, cognitive function, and other traits that they defined as associated with autism (the mice were also hypersensitive to sound, but it's not clear if the scientists measured this). For example, they put the mice in enclosures that gave them the choice of either spending time with another mouse or hanging out alone. The Kmt2c+/fs mice chose to spend time alone significantly more often than wild-type (Kmt2c+/+) mice did.

Then the researchers examined gene expression a little further. They found the experimental mice also showed upregulation of the expression of other genes already known to be associated with ASD, something the scientists had not included in their design.

"This was somewhat unexpected," said study co-author, Dr. Atsushi Takata. "KMT2C mediates H3K4 methylation, which is thought to activate gene expression, and thereby KMT2C haploinsufficiency was expected to cause reduced expression of target genes."

In other words, less expression of KMT2C appears to mean more expression of genes affirmatively associated with ASD.

The researchers then gave the mice vafidemstat, a brain-penetrating agent that acts on lysine-specific histone demethylase 1A (LSD1A) and has been found to render histone problems less severe. The treated mice showed less social impairment, and the differences in their gene expression relative to wild-type mice became less pronounced.

As the research paper says as it draws to a close, "This indicates that histone-modifying drugs would be effective not only in patients with KMT2C haploinsufficiency, which represents a tiny proportion of individuals diagnosed with ASD, but also in a broader patient population with specific types of transcriptomic and epigenomic dysregulation." Or, translated into press release, "The results open doors to future research to strengthen the foundation for the pharmacologic treatment of ASD and other neurodevelopmental disorders." Give an autistic organism a drug that affects one gene, and it will in fact affect many genes, making the organism act more neurotypical.

And we'd better start the hard conversations about that now.

Each study is one tiny step toward understanding, and the researchers are professionally clear about the work that remains to be done before their findings can be used in drug discovery, but there are a few things to keep in mind as we head down this road:

First, ASD itself is poorly understood, partially due to unclear diagnostic criteria that were only somewhat remedied when the DSM-IV became the DSM-V. In a hundred years, we may find that today's ASD is really five or six different neurotypes with overlapping presentations.

Second, scholars of prehistory are beginning to speculate that ASD, ADHD, dyslexia, and other conditions considered disabling in today's 9-5+ job market may have been beneficial to early human communities, even if they pose a problem at the individual level today. Some people with ADHD feel more alert and productive at night. There was one guy in the village who didn't mind night watch duty. A big part of autism is about seeing the world differently. Only one adult needs hear the tiger break a twig before it pounces on a posse of tribal toddlers. Medicating ASD out of existence could rob humankind of something that we don't yet fully understand.

Third, our school systems already have a habit of reaching for drugs out of convenience. The Body Keeps the Score cites the use of antipsychotic meds "to render 'difficult' children more tractable."* Autistic students are often inconvenient. There are autistic adults who describe the applied behavior analysis (ABA) interventions they received as youngsters (sometimes the only intervention covered by insurance) as functionally torture to make them pretend to be normal. The capacity for abuse of any autism-ameliorating drug treatment already has a fully developed infrastructure.

If these findings described an avenue for treatment of epilepsy, we'd shout hooray and move on. Offer epileptics a way to no longer have epilepsy, and almost all of them will cheerfully agree. Offer the parents of epileptic children a cure for epilepsy, and they will gladly consent on their child's behalf. The patient will likely grow through all stages of youth and adulthood with few conflicted feelings about this. The thing that is making an epileptic person unhealthy is often epilepsy.

This is because epilepsy is a disease, not an identity. Ask an epileptic if their epilepsy is an essential part of who they are as a human being, and most will give some version of "no." Ask an autistic? If you've met one person with autism, you've met one person with autism, but you're more likely to get a "yes."

Autism is part of how autists see, hear, think about, and interact with the world. It can be a disease, but not always. It can be a disability, but not always. It is an identity. The thing making an autistic person unhappy can be autism, but more often it's the way other people react to autism.

Even if we assume that some autistic individuals would benefit from drug intervention that brings them closer to what we think of as normal health, there is likely to be a large swath of autistic individuals who would be better off without it but are not in a position to refuse. Autistic children are often more work than their parents and teachers expected and do not always involve the same emotional and social rewards as their neurotypical counterparts. We should expect a large cohort of parents ready to jump at the word "cure" and a large number of strapped school systems ready to demand they do so. It isn't as if no one's doing it now.

We may be a long way from "Here is a pill you can take that will make you not autistic any more," but it's not the first time many autistic individuals will have had to deal with the idea. Autistic adults can tell stories of being medicated or threatened with medication for failure to hide their neurodiversity thoroughly enough.

Some of the nineteenth-century scientists discovering genes for the first time were asked whether their work could be used to improve humanity. The response, imperfectly paraphrased from my years-ago read-through of The Gene by Siddhartha Mukherjee, was that we would need "radical social equality" before we should even attempt radical genetic manipulation.* We had to know not only what each gene does but how it got there and what the true implications are. Similar caution is called for here.

Nakamura, T., Yoshihara, T., Tanegashima, C. et al. Transcriptomic dysregulation and autistic-like behaviors in Kmt2c haploinsufficient mice rescued by an LSD1 inhibitor. Mol Psychiatry (2024). https://doi.org/10.1038/s41380-024-02479-8

*Quotations are from memory and may be imperfect.

[mogai-sunflowers]

cw vent // possible discrimination(?) // and maybe a long ask

I know that I already talked to my high school counselors about this but I feel like I should also tell you this.

So, one of my periods was Culinary 2, I already attended Culinary 1 w/ the same teacher and her class is also bake-shop. We'll call her Mrs. K. Now, Mrs. K IS a nice teacher, sure a bit of a pain, but she is now a far more LARGER pain in the ass after today.

So today me & my friend (we'll call him "G" <- he was the friend that is the cis bi metalhead I was talking about) were suppose to do a steak lab where we get to season our own steak and have it w/ rice and potatoes. We were both excited about it, obviously. Though, as I walk in, she says that I didn't do Chap. 11 notes and that they were my "ticket" to the lab. Now, I was HIGHLY confused about this, so I went to see if maybe I forgot to submit.

It turns out, I didn't submit some game meat note questions. Because, apparently, they were suppose to be due today instead of the date that it was assigned to--which SAYS they were due on March 29th, so I had plenty of time to due them. "G" says that he didn't see the notes because they didn't appear on the front page of them--we both thought we were okay to do lab because we did all the notes, but I guess not!! Trust me, we were both a bit frustrated by this.

Now, here is where things go and get worse.

Mrs. K said that she was going to talk to me after setting up the lab for the other students who were eligible for lab minus those who weren't. After twenty minutes, she goes to explain that we didn't do the notes on the deadline and therefore we couldn't participate. So I go and tell her that I wasn't aware due to the fact that the notes were set on a different date and that "G" didn't see them. She goes to say, "But I was telling the class all week to do their notes, so maybe you should've been seeing what they've been doing." Okay, rude bitch.

Now, as a bit of a deeper info: I have autism, along with depression, anxiety, PTSD, violent intrusive thoughts, and selective empathy, and (possibly, still not sure) an obsessive personality disorder; "G" has autism, ADHD, depression, bipolar disorder, sensory issues, intrusive thoughts and gets panic attacks--he also has another disability that affects his reading, which I mostly understand since I've often be a bit dyslexic and might mispronounce a word or misread the time. There is also another girl in the class with ASD as well, but she's a bit lower on the quote/unquote "autism scale." The rest of the class--I believe--is just mostly allistic/neurotypical.

So, "G" responded to Mrs. K saying that he has a disability that affects his reading and so on. So she went and said, "Well, if you're having trouble reading, do you need to sit at the front again?" So he got mad and stormed off outside to calm himself down as he was about to have a panic attack, leaving ME alone with HER.

So, I explain to her, AGAIN, that the date was different and that I didn't think I needed to do it TODAY. So she explains that the reason why the date (March 29) was different was because it was also the date grades get turned in. So I said, "Well, okay, but no offense, but that's just a bit misleading. Because how am I suppose to know when it is turned in with the dates are all different?"

It gets WORSE.

After I've said it, she then asks, "Well, didn't you hear me say it this week it needs to be turned in?" Now, as an autistic person, I tend to not answer right away, as I either need time to say an answer or I kinda lock up. So here I am, somewhat stammering to try and say, and she asks again: "Didn't you hear me say it? Yes or no?" And I say, still trying to answer her, "Well--yes, I did hear it--but, y'know--"

So, SHE TURNS TO THE FREAKING CLASS, who was doing their lab, and she (sorta) yells out, "Class! Didn't I say that the notes needed to be due this week?" And they go and verbally agree with her, somewhat loudly, while I'm sitting there, embarrassed that she humiliated me + also my friend who returned from calming himself down. This wasn't the first time she verbally humiliated/embarrassed her students, and it was mostly those who were a bit procrastinating, but only over and assignment or two.

After "G" comes back, we both proceed to defend ourselves. BUT, just "but," she goes and coaxes us like literally fucking children by saying: "Oh, well if you are having trouble with dates, I could personally write you two a calendar on what needs to be done and tell you." I am 16 (10th grade) and he is 18 (12th grade), he is practically a young adult and I am somewhat a sorta-adult as well. We are not fucking toddlers. Plus, this was the only time we were having trouble with dates since we both mostly get our work done.

So we both get mad and went to our counselor. Of course, I was reasonable a bit and decide to get a note from Mrs. K so I wasn't going to be in trouble or at least say that I have a note excusing us from class. I should've said it before in the beginning that the steak lab was the only day today to do it so we can not do it tomorrow and that'll risk us points.

So yeah, I'm still a bit pissed off. We already talked to the counselors about it and they said that they will follow up after spring break. I was just mostly glad we had someone to talk to us and not be rude. They listened to us very carefully and weren't rude 'n' stuff; we took turns talking about the experience.

tl;dr: the culinary teacher was very rude and I walked out of that toxic environment w/ friend.

Sorry that you had to read this reign. I kinda just wanted to talk to other friends about it. I know that you've had shared some ableist experiences and problems, so I figured I'd share mine. /gen

gosh I’m so sorry :/// teachers should be formally trained in how to accommodate AÑL their students. When a student tells you they have a disability and that’s why they messed something up, if your response is “well everyone ELSE did it” or you then treat them like a baby, you shouldn’t be a fucking teacher. I’ve definitely had authority figures like this, it’s really annoying. I’m sorry you didn’t get to do the lab either :// im tired of disabled students always been treated like we are just lazy or it’s just an excuse. Like, one of my best friends is legally blind and one of my teachers KNEW that and then didn’t accommodate them on any of the tests. I get panic attacks with presentations and i told my teacher and they were just like “everyone has to do the presentation”. I also have dyslexia and another learning disorder and my teacher got mad at me for needing extended time on assignments and tests. All of this to say, i know how you’re feeling and I’m really sorry 💕💕💕

[aintmyjewelry]

How did you end up getting diagnosed? Was it a long process with a thousand dollar test or could you get it another way? I'm looking to get tested

(apologies, this is a pretty long post about the process but I hope it helps!!)

So for my diagnosis, I went through a neuropsychological center to get a neuropsychological evaluation and I initially went bc my therapist suspected ADHD but I tacted on the ASD testing because my mom has always been suspicious, haha (I think you have to go to a neuropsychological center for ASD but don't quote me on that)

The process was both long and not long. I initially reached out to the center to set up an appointment in late November. However, due to anxiety, I was really slow at responding to their emails and following up. By the time I was able to kick myself into gear (which was around Christmas), the closest appointment that worked with my schedule was in early March (March 10). I also had to set up an intake appointment (March 1) and then a follow-up appointment (today, March 22). I also had to provide my health insurance information right away before they set up any appointments.

Everything kind of happened quickly from there. There was a LOT of paperwork to fill out prior to my intake appointment. This included family history reports, self-reports (just symptoms I'm experiencing and such), contracts/agreements, etc. The paperwork is probably the most exhausting part especially if you ever feel like me and ur like "should I really be doing this? am i just being dramatic?"

I had to have the paperwork in before my intake appointment and then for the intake appointment it was like about 30-45 minutes and mine was with a postdoctorate student (the psychologist was out of the office that day). He basically reviewed the paperwork I had submitted and discussed what I was concerned about, what symptoms I was having, etc.

At the end of the intake appt, I was sent MORE paperwork lmao but these were like questionnaires (they covered both ASD and ADHD). They asked me questions about how i personally felt, my habits, some of my interests, socializing, empathy, etc. I was asked about the current day and childhood. My mom was also given questionnaires and I think hers were also a mix of current and childhood behaviors.

I had to hand in the questionnaires the day of my testing so I did that morning and then went in for testing. Testing for me was about 5 hours long and it was exhausting. It can be even longer depending on what tests you are going in for and if they have anything else they notice and want to explore (with ur permission). But mine was just one day, it went from about 9am-2pm and I had a break for lunch.

The evaluation itself was a lot. They described it as a "stress test for your brain" and they were NOT kidding. It was a mix of puzzles, electronic tests, verbal tests, memory, some tests on paper, etc. It was a lot but my tester was very nice and patient.

That then brings me to today which was my "feedback appt" where I met virtually with the psychologist and he walked me through results of EVERY test, including the questionnaires I and my mom completed. He gave his initial interpretations (as I have discussed in other posts lmao) and was very thorough and answered questions. It was about an hour long. I was not prescribed anything or referred for any treatment. I am not sure if that comes with the diagnosis stuff or not but, in the meantime, I will be seeking out my own psychiatrist to discuss medications for the anxiety and depression factors my psychologist noted (and boy were they high, he was stunned).

I now basically wait for the formal diagnosis papers which can take 6-8 weeks, give or take.

One thing I did not like about the place I went to is the psychologist was very much into "differentiating" the "types" of autism. For me he used the term "Aspergers" a lot which I don't like for many reasons and it generally is not a term autistic people use anymore (I especially didn't like that he called me an "Aspie" and called autism the "trendy phrase" - it was kind of weird). It's all just under ASD. and he eventually specifically described me as ASD level 1 which is in the DSM.

Now, as for the COST of everything, I have insurance through my parents, I am still under their plan. Going into this, I didn't know if my insurance would cover it at all. This was very much something where I was just gonna bite the bullet and do it for my own sake. As I said previously, they asked for my insurance right away and bc they moved ahead I assumed they accepted it (their website said they took my insurance as well but my insurance can be weird lmao). There was a $50 fee I had to pay up front that insurance would not cover (it was for testing materials). Without insurance, the whole thing came out to be over $3,000. WITH insurance, I will be paying about $1,100.

I am not sure if there is another way to go about getting a diagnosis. I am not sure if psychiatrists can do anything when it comes to this. I think psychiatrists can but you have to go to someone who specializes in ASd. My therapist recommended I look for a place that did neuropsychological evaluations because they will look at like ur whole brain basically (not literally tho lmao there was no tests like that) and if it wasn't ASD or ADHD they can suggest other things. so that is why I took the route I took!

But, yeah, that was my experience. I hope I laid it out all okay - if you have questions please feel free to ask, I can try to answer them but, fair warning, I might not have all the answers 😅

[firstcurse]

Henrys birthday / March symbolism.

To  start  off  I'm  sure  I've  mentioned  it  a  million  times  before  but  March  is  a  "special"  month  in  Hawkins  according  to  me.  Not  only  is  it  the  month  of  Henry's  birthday,  but  its  the  month  the  Creel's officially  moved  to  Hawkins.  This  is  how  I'm  explaining  the  repeating  theme  of  March  in  the  Stranger  things  canon.  

( Including  Will's  birthday,  Billy's  birthday,  and  the  entirety  of  Season  4  beginning  in  March and, as  an  update, I  think  its  very  interesting  that  the  reveal  about  the  stage  play  being  focused  on  Henry's  childhood  was  announced  in  March,  right  on  my  birthday  actually ! The  March  theme  specifically  surrounding  Henry  continues ! Not to mention they're calling it "The first Shadow," I do stay winning. )  

I  don't  know  how  canon  is  going  to  explain  any  of  that,  if  its  not  just  a  coincidence,  but  since  I'm  insane  and  I  love  creating  patterns  and  symbolism  I've  already  decided  to  go  a  little  nuts  with  it  and  so  here  are  some  more  thoughts  on  that:   I'm  putting  the  date  the  Creel's  officially  moved  into  the  house  in  Hawkins  as  March  2nd,  because  thats  my  birthday  and  I'm  allowed. Henry's  birthday  is  March  8th,  which  is  also  when  Henry  had  his  first  "encounter"  with  "The  Shadow"  (The  Mindflayer.)  

So again, march  22nd  is  Will's  birthday  and in my headcanon,  also  the  day  Henry  discovered  his  extreme  psychic  abilities,  and  March  29th,  which  is  Billy's  birthday,  is  the  day  Henry  killed  his  mother  and  sister.  Thats their symbolic importance to him.

Something  else  I  also  mentioned  in  other  posts  is  the  fact  that  Stranger  Things,  particularly  Season  4,  drew  a  lot  of  inspo  from  Western  /  Christian  mythology  and  my  insane  provocative  to  mirror  this  and  this  is  no  different.  March  and  April  tend  to  be  thought  of  as  significant  months  therein  because  of  the  crucifixion  and  resurrection  of  Jesus,  March  being  the  preparation  for  Jesus'  resurrection  and  April  being  the  month  in  which  that  took  place.  I'm  mirroring  this  with  Henry  in  March  as  the  period  where  Henry  encounters  the  MF  and  develops  his  powers  and  April  being  the  month  when ��Brenner  kidnaps  Henry  and  he  wakes  up  from  his  "coma"  in  Brenner's  care.

I  also think  I  mentioned  this  once  before  in  passing  but  I  wanted  to  mention  it  again:  In my headanon the  one  and  only  time  Henry  was  ever  actually  “diagnosed”  with  anything,  despite  having  a  long  history  of  difficulties  with  school  and  thus  repeated  doctor’s  consultations,  was  after  moving  to  Hawkins,  fairly  late  into  the  month, maybe more around the middle, after Henry's encounter with the MF.  They  diagnosed  him  with  childhood  schizophrenia.  Obviously  this  was  a  misdiagnosis  but  it  was  the  50s  and  it  was  common  for  ASD  to  be  misdiagnosed  this  way  back  then.  

That  being  said,  one  of  the  big  factors  in  Henry’s  diagnosis  was  his  “strange  thinking”  and  “unusual  perceptions.” 

If  you’ve  read  my  post  here,  you  know  I  have  a  running  theory  that  the  being  known  as  the  Mindflayer  by  the  party  ( Who  I  perceive  to  be  the  Stranger  Things  version  of  The  Serpent  from  DnD )  was  able  to  “commune”  with  Henry  long  before  he  ever  got  to  the  Upside  Down  thanks  to  Henry’s  latent  psychic  abilities  and  this  was  what  really  woke  those  abilities up and  certainly  amplified  them  in  a  way  we  haven’t  seen  with  any  other  psychic  character  in  the  series.  ( Once  again,  look  up  DnD  Vecna  and  “The  Serpent”  from  DnD,  I  promise  it  all  makes  perfect  sense ) 

In my headcanon Henry  kind  of...  Did  try  to  express  to  his  parents  what  he  was  “experiencing”  but  of  course  this  was  extremely  difficult  for  him  because  unlike  Will,  Henry’s  environment  wasn’t  a  loving,  open,  accepting  one.  Henry’s  mother  didn’t  believe  him  or  take  him  seriously  on  anything  and  this  was  a  pre-established  thing  which  made   it  hard  for  Henry  to  actually  try  to  communicate  anything  with  his  family  in  the  first  place. He was seen as suffering delusions and mental illness. 

No,  He  didn’t  really  know  how  to  explain  it  as a 12 year old boy, but  most  pressingly  the  knowing  that  no  one  would  understand  or  even  want  to  understand  or  believe  him  meant  Henry  was  withdrawn,  defensive,  deflective  and  standoffish  even  if  he  really  did  want  to  talk  to  his  family  and  be  “more  cooperative”  with  them,  so  to  speak.  On  top  of  this,  Henry  found  himself  frustrated  by  his  family's  “superstitions”  particularly  when  his  own  attempts  to  explain  things where  thought  of  with  such  concern.

Victor  was  the  only  one  who  gave  Henry  any  heed, especially as Victor himself felt something was wrong,  but  even  then  Henry  wasn’t  taken  very  seriously  by  the  family  at  large  and  again,  a  lot  of  the  goings  on  of  the  house  were  blamed  on  a  “demon”  which  Henry  had  a  lot  of  contempt  for  given  he  knew  a  lot  of  the  things  in  the  house  that  were  upsetting  his  family  were somehow  coming  more  from  him  and  his  anger  with  them,  but  he  couldn’t  really  explain  how  or  why  he  suddenly  knew  the  things  he  did  or  could  do  the  things  he  could  do,  or  could  see  the  things  he  could  see. 

In  his  retelling  in  the  show,  Victor  explicitly  confirms  that  he  could  see  “[Henry]  knew  something  was  wrong.”  And we also know Victor went to the EXTENT of having an exorcist preformed on the house, also confirming Victor himself both believed Henry and knew something wasn't right either.

When  Will  is  “possessed”  by  the  Mindflayer  in  season  2,  he  talks  about  how  he  suddenly  knows  things,  things  that  he  didn’t  know  before  but  he  doesn’t  know  how  he  knows  them.  I  imagine  Henry  encountered  a  similar  phenomenon  when  he  was  subconsciously  linked  to  the  Mindflayer  in  his  childhood.  Henry  began  to  know  things  he  couldn’t  explain  and  he  did  “SEE”  the  Mindflayer  cloud  in  dreams / visions  as  well.

None  the  less,  Henry's  “diagnosis”  at  the  back  end  of  all  this  was  the  big  factor  in  his  mother  getting into contact with  Brenner,  who  at  the  time  was  labeled  a  leading  “expert”  in  the  “human  mind”  as  back  in  the  50s,  neurodivergence  and  mental  illness  was  not  well  understood  and  due  to  the  societal  and  political  climate,  particularly  in  the  US,  Virginia  saw  institutionalizing  Henry  as  the  “best  option”.

WHICH  brings  me  to  a  post  I  made  last  night  that  I'm  going  over  really  quick  because  I  think  its  relevant.  There  is  a  lot  of  supernatural  repetition  in  Vecna's  "curse"  and  his  behaviors.  He  often  repeats  moments  on  his  trauma,  projecting  them  onto  this  victims  who  then  live  them  too,  and  the  scene  with  Max  in  the  Piggy  Back  episode  seems  to  be  an  INCREDIBLY  interesting  instance  of  this.  Why  ?  Because  Vecna  says  this:  

❝ Is  that ...  All  true  ? You  wanted  Billy  to  die? You  ever  have  thoughts  like  that  about  me  ?  Normal  people  don't  fantasize  about  killing  other  people,  Max.  You  realize  that,  right? I  thought  you  were  getting  better  -  but  you're  not,  are  you? You  are  sick.  Maybe  it  is  good  he  takes  you.  Maybe  its  for  the  best.  In  fact,  I'm  glad  its  going  to  be  you.  You  will  be  the  chosen  one.  The  Fourth.  The  final  sacrifice!  Its  going  to  be  you  that  BREAKS  THE  WORLD. ❞

 Now  let  me  just  direct  you  all  back  to  the  scene  with  Will  and  Joyce  in  season  2  when  Will  begins  to  explain  the  thoughts  he's  having  and  the  things  he  can  see  after  being  "contacted"  by  the  Mindflayer.  He  begins  to  talk  about  killing  people  and  people  dying,  and  the  horrible  things  he's  seeing.  

Joyce  reassures  him  and  protects  him,  like  a  good  mother  would  -  but  you  know  who  has  been  HEAVILY  suggested  to  have  NOT  had  a  good  mother,  and  instead,  canonly  described  his  mother  as  hating  him  and  who  seemed  to  just  want  to  blame  him  ? Who  just  wanted  her  son  "taken  away"  by  a  doctor  to  be  "fixed" ?  And  thus  would  have  ultimately  sacrificed  him  to  maintain  her  ideal  of  normal,  happy  family ? Henry. Who  is  the  one  who  has  actually  been  "chosen"  to  "Break  the  world" ?  Henry.  I heavily feel like what Vecna said to Max as Lucas was yet another clue about what happened to him as a child and what is ultimately going on in the plot.

More  than  that,  the  way  he  explicitly  called  Max  a  "sacrifice"  is  interesting,  particularly  when  you  put  it  with  the  scene  in  season  3  when  flayed!Billy,  who  is  widely  believed  to  have  been  under  the  control  of  Vecna  at  the  time, which I do agree with,  incapacitates  Eleven  and  instead  of  just  killing  her  he  goes  to  the  effort  of  taking  her  to  the  mindflayer's  Proxy  body  and  offering  her  to  it,  as  if  an  act  of  propitiation.  

And  we also  had  a  previous  scene  of  Flayed!Billy,  talking  to  Flayed!Heather,  in  which  SOMEHOW  Flayed!Heather  knows  who  Eleven  is and  Flayed!Billy  is  furious  because  she bested him and he could have been killed so  Flayed!Heather  has  to  reassure  him  that  "they'll"  win.  Interesting  shit  to  think  about  there. Like, this isn't ONE single entity speaking through the flayed, its apparently TWO and they're having a whole conversation with each other.

Anyway ! With that aside, on  to  that  old  Astrology  crap  copy-pasted  from  my  original  post  on  it  back  when:

Basically  I’m  giving  Henry  a  birthday  and instead  of  being  a  normal  person  and just  saying  the  the  date  and fucking  off  I’m  gonna  be  a  crazy  person  make  it  too  deep.  I  decided  he’s  sharing  the  same  month  as  Will  ( March )  and I’m  pretty  sure  I’m  going  to  go  with  the  date  of  the  8th  because  it  is  parallel  to  Will’s  birthday  of  the  22nd.  ( I  know  the  D*ffer  brother’s  seem  to  be  planning  to  change  this  bc  they  forgot  but  idc )  It  also  makes  Henry  a  Pisces  which  is  very  sexy  to  me  as  both  a  fellow  Pisces  and someone  who  loves  filling  shit  with  meta  and symbolization  because  I’m  insane  like  that.  

Pisces,  a  water  sign,  is  the  last  constellation  of  the  zodiac.  It's  symbolized  by  two  fish  swimming  in  opposite  directions,  representing  the  constant  division  of  Pisces's  attention  between  fantasy  and  reality.  As  the  final  sign,  Pisces  has  absorbed  every  lesson  —  the  joys  and  the  pains,  the  hopes  and  the  fears  —  learned  by  all  of  the  other  signs.  This  makes  these  fish  the  most  psychic,  empathetic,  and  compassionate  creatures  of  the  astrological  wheel.  With  such  immense  sensitivity,  Pisces  can  easily  become  swallowed  by  emotions  and  must  remember  to  stay  grounded  in  the  material  realm.  Pisces  is  ruled  by  Neptune,  the  celestial  body  that  governs  creativity  and  dreams,  and  these  ethereal  fish  adore  exploring  their  boundless  imaginations.  In  its  more  nefarious  form,  however,  Neptune  also  oversees  illusion  and  escapism.   Neptunian  energy  is  like  the  energy  of  the  ocean:  magical,  mysterious,  and  often  scary.  When  the  fog  is  thick  on  the  water,  the  horizon  is  obstructed  and  there  is  no  differentiation  between  the  sea  and  the  sky.  A  mutable  sign,  Pisces  effortlessly  adapts  to  their  surroundings.  These  visionary  fish  have  unparalleled  access  to  the  collective  unconscious  through  their  clairvoyance  and  make  incredible  artists  and  creatives.  

In  my  big  fat  opinion  this  all  fits  who  I  perceive  Henry  to  have  been  as  a  human.  And it  also  works  as  a  very  tasty  dark  mirror  of  what  Henry  becomes  as  Vecna. Which is particularly spice given the Mindflayer itself is clearly a metaphor to the Shadow self and I have talked about this a few times before.  I’ve  always  hated  the  popular  depiction  of  Pieces  as  people  tend  to  only  focus  on  the  preposed "sensitive,  shy,  artistic  traits," and  no  one  ever  focuses  on  the  terrifying  depth  of  a  Pisces  or  the  devastation  that  can  be  done  by  having  both  the  most  expansive  imagination  and the  most  refined  ability  to  perceive  and understand  other  people’s  emotions  or  insecurities.  Like  I  really  gotta  be  out  here  doing  everything  myself.  

There  is  a  frightening  duality  of  the  Pisces  and the  two  fish  swimming  in  opposite  directions  can  also  draw  parallels  to  the  yin  and yang.  The  Pisces  being  represented  by  water  is  suited  in  the  amount  of  forms  water  can  take.  Most  people  view  water  as  gentle  and healing.  However,  water  can  be  as  fiercely  destructive  as  any  other  element.  The  form  of  a  clear  stream,  an  inviting  lake,  a  refreshing  shower  and gentle  waves  can  easily  become  a  raging  river,  a  dark  ocean,  a  violent  storm  and a  devastating  tsunami.  We’ve  seen  this  very  duality  from  Henry,  and  Vecna  is  his  shadow  self;  the  darkest  most  monstrous  version  of  him  in  physical  form.

Henry’s  status  as  the  first  test  subject,  the  oldest  and the  most  powerful  also  fits  well  with  the  Pieces  being considered  the  last  and most  mature  of  the  zodiac  on  different  ends  of  a  spectrum,  with  Henry  also  being  the  first  and oldest  test  subject,  representing  the  beginning  and end. The Alpha and Omega, so to speak.  I’m  sure  I  don’t  have  to  go  into  all  the  spicy  symbolism  of  Pisces  being linked to  alternative  dimensions  and being  a  traveler  and a  link  to  said  dimensions  because  I  think  thats  damn  obvious.  Same  to  be  said about  the  representation  of  dreams  and illusions.

I  also  think  its  very  funny  that  Venca / Henry  had  an  early  design  phase  where  he  was  heavily  based  on  fish  and  water.  I’ve  personally   always  had  the  water  relations  in  my  portrayal  because  thats  just  how  he’s  hittin  me  but  this  further  links  some  things  together  really  nicely.  

Lastly  the  dual  fish  are  often  considered  to  be  a  symbol  to  a  Pisces  soul  considered  to  be  in  two  pieces.  We  can  again  draw  this  back  to  the  yin-yang  aesthetic  but  I’m  intending  it  entirely  to  represent  how  Henry  is  clearly  an  inverted  parallel  to  Will  and  how  they  are  “linked.”   To  me  I  also  draw  from  the  aesthetic  of  Silent  hill  and  Alessa  and  Cheryl,  again  with  Alessa  being  the  dark  mirror  of  Cheryl  and  the  two  being  soul-connected.  Alessa  the  dark  half  and  Cheryl  the  light  half.  

With  Henry  and  Will  I  see  this  linking  of  “souls” or whatever  to  have  taken  place  through  the  mindflayer,  who  previously  to  infecting  Will  had  merged  with  Henry.  Since  Will’s  abduction  and  apparent  “resurrection”  he’s  shown  some  type  of  psychic  ability,  which  seems  to  have  come  from  whatever  “”part””  of  Henry  was  in  the  mindflayer  and  invaded  Will  creating  this  weird  connection  they  have through Wills ability to perceive the "hivemind". ( We  also  literally  saw  human  Henry  was  VERY  similar  to  Will   particularly  in  terms  of  being  sensitive,  artistic  “loners.” )

Metaphorically,  I get the sense the  mindflayer’s  dark  influence  is  suppose  to  represent  hatred,  abuse  and  pain,  rejection,  isolation  and  essentially  a  caution  about  the  perils  of  someone  experiencing  trauma  without  a  support  network,  allowing  negative  emotions  and  suffering  to  corrupt  someone’s  soul  which  is  very  symbolic  to  Henry/Vecna,  while  Will  parallels  and  inverts  this  as  someone  who  is  also  a  societal  outcast  and  a  minority,  etc,  but  unlike  Henry  he  had  a  support  group,  this  didn’t  let  the  darkness  win  or  rather   he  wasn’t  driven  toward  it  and  was  instead  pulled  away  from  it.

Side  note:  If  the  mindflayer  is  sentient  and I  believe  it  is,  yes,  I  view  it  as  something  that  “preyed”  on  Henry  due  to  being  an  outcast  and yes,  it  is  using  him  but  at  this  point  he’s  using  it  just  as  much.  

Their  relationship  is  both  parasitic  and symbiotic,  which  seems  to  be  a  contradiction  but  we’re  dealing  with  over-powered  psychics,  alternative  hellish  dimensions  and eldritch  entities  here,  so  far  its  working  out  for  them  but  I  def  wouldn’t  say  all  of  this  has  been  most  beneficial  to  Henry.  I  mean  ...  look  at  him. But yeah, I have a whole bunch of crazy thoughts on the MF and how it functions to me that I'm not covering here because those are different posts.

Anyway,  Henry  and  Will  also  share  the  aesthetic  of  wizardry  and  ‘returning  from  death’;  Will  as  the  “Zombie  boy “  and  his  Dnd  character  being  a  Cleric  and  Henry  as  “Vecna”  the  all-powerful  demi god-lich.  

I’ve  spoke  about  Henry’s  parallels  to  DnD’s  Vecna  before  as  well  as  mentioned  the  likeness  of  the  Mindflayer  to  both  the  “elder  brain”  of  the  Dnd  mind-flayers  and  the  “Serpent”  associated  to  DnD  Vecna,  but  to  paste  from  Dnd  beyond  in  regard  to  the  Cleric:  

Clerics are intermediaries  between  the  mortal  world  and  the  distant  planes  of  the  gods.  As  varied  as  the  gods  they  serve,  clerics  strive  to  embody  the  handiwork  of  their  deities.  No  ordinary  priest,  a  cleric  is  imbued  with  divine  magic.  Divine  magic,  as  the  name  suggests,  is  the  power  of  the  gods,  flowing  from  them  into  the  world.  Clerics  are  conduits  for  that  power,  manifesting  it  as  miraculous  effects.  The  gods  don’t  grant  this  power  to  everyone  who  seeks  it,  but  only  to  those  chosen  to  fulfill  a  high  calling.   Harnessing  divine  magic  doesn’t  rely  on  study  or  training.  A  cleric  might  learn  formulaic  prayers  and  ancient  rites,  but  the  ability  to  cast  cleric  spells  relies  on  devotion  and  an  intuitive  sense  of  a  deity’s  wishes.  Clerics  combine  the  helpful  magic  of  healing  and  inspiring  their  allies  with  spells  that  harm  and  hinder  foes.   They  can  provoke  awe  and  dread,  lay  curses  of  plague  or  poison,  and  even  call  down  flames  from  heaven  to  consume  their  enemies.  For  those  evildoers  who  will  benefit  most  from  a  mace  to  the  head,  clerics  depend  on  their  combat  training  to  let  them  wade  into  melee  with  the  power  of  the  gods  on  their  side.

This  kinda  fits  everything  about  Will  and Henry  having  a  soul-link  connection  through  some  “divine”  other-wordily  force.  Henry  is  linked  to  the  mind-flayer  entity  and so  is  Will,  so  Will  is  also  linked  to  Henry,  meaning  the  three  of  them  are  joined  in  weird  psychic  soul-bond  horror and the existence of the "hivemind."

Also  If  Will’s  birthday  remains  the  22nd  ( and it  should ! )  he  is  an  Aries,  the  “first”  sign  of  the  zodiac  which  adds  further  parallels  to,  and is  repeatedly  symbolic  to  the  “beginning”  and “end” as I've said.  ( Will  being  the  beginning,  everything  “starting”  with  his  abduction in the first ep  and Henry  being  the  “end,”  introduced  last  in  the  recent  season  and will  be  what  the  series  ends  with,  as  well  as  with  the  last  season  ending  around  Will  just  as  the  first  season  began  around  Will, like you see where I'm at with all this fhjdkfg. )

  Aries  is  also  a  fire  sign,  opposite  of  Pisces  as  a  water  sign.  Will  is  heavily  related  to  fire in the canon of the show and I like that because  I  think  its  about  time  the  water-element  gets  to  be  the  mean,  “evil”  one  and the  fire-element  gets  to  be  the  nice,  “good”  one  bc  the  inverse  of  that  is  beat  to  hell  as  a  trope,  evil  water-people  represent.  

Some  people do argue  that  Henry/Vecna/the  MF  is represented  by  fire  as  well  but  nah  bruh,  fire,  light,  heat: they  all  harm  the  MF,  Henry  was  set  alight  with  Molotov's  for  a  reason,  the  MF  and by  extension  Henry  are  dark,  shadowy  and MOIST  and thats  a  fact, quite literally,  source:  the  damp  squelching  sound  effects  and the  need  the  ST  make  up  crew  had  to  be  constantly  redosing  Jamie  in  lube  as  Vecna to keep the slimy affect of his skin.

Basically  Henry  ( As  Vecna )  is  a  perilous  bog,  a  shadow,  cold  and dark  while  Will  is  the light  and warmth,  a  torch  and a  cleansing  flame.  Henry/Vecna  is  the  curse  and  Will  is  the  cure.  And  thats  my  essay  on  that and I HOPE the duffers and ST writers go as hard with this as I think they should.