#martin jon and elias in that order

[jarchivussy]

there's faves that you literally take personal offense for if anyone insults them and faves that you love to bully. and then there's the faves that are like if u saw two guys mugging them you'd make it three

[id: a white banner with black pixely wonky handwritten text reading: 'i hate the dsmp and i think dream should explode'. end id.]

[fox-guardian]

hey guys did you know that um. did you know. first of all did you know i'm losing my mind, secondly, do y'all remember in tma how when someone reads a written statement, they don't really Stop unless they're interrupted? and they read the whole thing easy cheesy, no issues with reading whatever words are there? like. jon literally could read french for a whole statement and was Fine. granted, that's Jon, but like nobody else struggled with pronunciations and whatnot (that i can recall)

presumably, this is an eye thing. either as employees of the institute, or because everyone there is just also eye-aligned in some degree (melanie had the ghost hunting show, the eye is fond of martin, etc)

and then there's tim in season 3 ep 86

[Sigh] Statement of… uh, Benjamin Hatendi… Hateendi? Regarding a… [papers rustling] a blanket. Dead friend. Monster. Regarding his unavoidable and gruesome end. How he tried to hide. He couldn’t. Statement is from… 1983, March 2nd. And I guess… [long sigh] I guess I’m doing this one. Tim Stoker. Archival assistant… Archival prisoner at the Magnus Institute.

correct me if im wrong but i don't recall anyone struggling with pronunciations before this bit. but that's not even the biggest thing here, that's just a lil Taste, a lil Flavor.

note the phrasing there. "Regarding his unavoidable and gruesome end." why would he say this when the written text on the statement says this:

Uh, right. Benjamin Hatendi’s account of… [rustling pages] oh for… a, a strange encounter. Er, statement date, March 2nd, 1983. Melanie King recording. Apparently.

"a strange encounter". that's it. nothing about an unavoidable death, just a "strange encounter". Tim Why Did You Say That.

why would our dear timothy bimothy, who is being pushed to the brink, who is becoming rapidly more depressed and losing hope, say this?

this isn't the only time he's said some weirdly grim shit tho (ep 104)

There was never really any hope for me, though, was there? This was how it was always going to go.

and then there's this bit from elias apparently having Looked into tim (also 104)

TIM All right, hit me with your X-ray eyes then, boss. What do you see? ELIAS Disruption. An unpredictable, angry man with nothing left but the desire to feel in some way revenged. TIM [Sarcastic] Ooh, terrifying! Surely only magic could have let you see so deep inside my very soul.

"nothing left" but the desire to feel revenged. and tim doesn't dispute this, because it's true.

when he first joined the institute he did so in order to look for answers about danny, but then he stopped seriously looking. and now that the circus is back, this is all the drive he has left. not looking for answers, just wanting revenge. closure. an end, if you will.

this is Literally It For Him. a couple lines later he suggests elias kill him, he's At The Breaking Point.

he is so tired, he's lost all hope, and he's saying all this grim shit about "unavoidable death" and "this is how it was always going to go" like hmmmm sounds familiar doesn't it. DOESN'T IT (<- is going insane)

(ep 11) [....] despite the rapid response of the paramedics and how much of his medical history I had immediately to hand, there was nothing I could do to save him. (ep 11) I have no responsibility to try and prevent whatever fate is coming for you. Based on my previous experience, such a thing is likely impossible anyway,[....] (ep 121) There. That was it. That was our fate; where we would always be.

hmmmm sounds a bit like oliver huh? everyone's favorite ex-accountant avatar of the end?? right??

but then there's this last bit i have from ep 86.

why did he stop reading the statement

Statement. “My parents never let me have a nightlight. I was always afraid, but they were ju–” Ugh, this is stupid.

why did he do that. again, correct me if im wrong but when else has someone just Stopped Reading like that without someone or something else interrupting them? why could tim just stop himself?

my theory is this: at this point, tim is completely gone from being aligned with the eye. he no longer seeks to know what happened to danny, he just wants closure. he doesn't wanna do any statement work, and he keeps mentioning these tidbits about hopelessness and the inevitability of terrible events, specifically death.

the eye isn't compelling him to read the statements like it does the others, because it doesn't have as strong a hold anymore. the grip is slipping from him. and by the time the unknowing rolls around, maybe it's lost him for good. maybe he finally fell into a different power he never meant to serve, and yet, he does.

and maybe. just maybe. because i'm so not in denial. but MAYBE. he did die in the unknowing. but maybe he got better.

basically end!tim truthers rise up, this is how end!tim kayaking with his bf oliver banks can still win, etc etc I'm Going Feral <3

[lostenzz]

Archive Employee Lineup :D

In order

Elias - 5'8

Jon - 5'5

Sasha - 6'0

Martin - 5'9

Tim - 5'10

Not-Sasha - 5'3

Melanie - 4'11

Basira - 5'7

Daisy - 5'10

[snekberry]

TMA Time Travel AU Masterlist

The time travel AU takes place after MAG 200. Future!Jon finds himself back in the 2015 timeline without his Martin.

(Note that F stands for Future and P stands for Past to differentiate characters of different timelines)

Links to all the comics in chronological order:

F!Jon's arrival into the timeline. part 1 | part 2 | part 3

F!Jon waiting for his Martin to arrive. link

F!Jon annoying P!Jon into undergoing character development. link

Peter Lukas visiting F!Jon. link

F!Jon getting hungry and feeding on someone in front of Sasha. link

F!Martin's arrival into the timeline. part 1 | part 2 | part 3

Extra stuff:

P!Jon reacting to F!Jon saying that he wants to kill Elias. link

F!Martin on his way to the timeline. link

F!Jon hearing the P!archival staff get along with one another. link

Tim asking to see F!Jon's fangs. link

P!Martin daydreaming about F!Jon's fangs. link

F!Jon getting decked. link

F!Jon wondering what his fangs are for. link

Tim walking in on F!Jon attempting to eat a cassette tape. link

Time travel au poster. link

F!Jon stuck in the Lonely but he's doing one of those babygirl poses. link

P!Jon and F!Jon's surprise birthday party. link

F!Jon and F!Martin reference sheet. link

P!Jon dreams of polyarchives. link

F!Jon and P!Martin interaction. link

[newsiesasvines2]

Rusty Quoll has the potential to give us the funniest comedic duo with Jon and Martin.

Martin, bored out of his mind, sipping on his Barbie ice coffee: Gun to your head, would you rather kiss Elias or Jonah?

Jon, who wanted a barbie drink too but was too awkward to order: Gun to my head? Pull the trigger

Martin: wh E E Z E

[the-voldsoy]

Parallels/references/a couple theories about TMAGP EP1:

grouped in order of actual theories, vague things i noticed, and even vaguer comments! (using the same terminology as in TMA for ease)

HEAVY Spoilers !!

Stronger:

“Colin, mate, you know you’re never getting out of here” +won't leave until they figure out the errors “Or they finally kill me” → couldn't quit the Archives because they thought they just wanted to understand and know (but later found out they could only get out by dying or blinding)

Lena talks about cake → Mr Spider doesn't like cake + Elias seemed to love the stuff

pub called The Seward -> Peter Lukas vibes?

“There has to be a way to do this online” → haha ! you wish. (AKA supernatural interferes with internet so it cant be dont online)

“There's this box for a "Response 121" on the form.” → MAG121 is the episode Jon is woken from his coma/brought back to life by Oliver Banks

Talk about how there used to be a separate “Response” department → Elias tells Jon its their job to watch, not interfere (iirc)

Old as shit computer → old as shit tape recorders

AKA: the computer seems to be the only thing that can handle the supernatural

“ "Dolls comma watching" or "Dolls comma human skin" “ → violently Stranger and possibly Eye, has me in mind of MAG24 (the one the Calliope is first mentioned in, where the boyfriend is turned into a doll iirc) 

Barely understandable, long as shit file names →barely understandable, long as shit files names by Gertrude 

[in response to where the files go] “some long dead database that no one will ever look at or care about” → the Archives were unmanaged, decrepit and barely used by anyone outside of them

Work during the night - no sun, cut off from outside world → worked in a basement - no sun, cut off from outside world

Martin (and later Jon) taking the statements → did the same in TMA but in reverse (although I’d love to know if there's any reason behind them being called Chester and Norris, besides what's stated?)

Haha Martin and Jon (and Jonah) are now part of the World Wide Web → shit now they're part of the Web (just like with the tape recorders !!)

Someone talks about how they're sorry, they should've listened, couldn't face not hearing him again → martin @ jon and vice versa

Stranger statement with hints of the Dark → first TMA statement was a Stranger in the dark, and it does put me in mind of the Anglerfish tbh

Sorting system for the statements (although there's is a Lot more detailed and v different) → Smirke’s Fourteen

Gwen openly does not like Lena → literally anyone @ Elias

Asked if they were tricked into working here → well, we know the Archives and Elias

“The awful, terrible thing that landed you here?” → most of the Archives (excluding Sasha and maybe Martin) had something that made them Marked, that mostly led to them working there

Someone who's into spelunking listed the Institute as “cleared” → who could that be (if we know them at all)? Buried avatar, i'd guess, but we don't really know any of them

Photos of the Institute don't show up → photos of the supernatural don't work

The Institute was “weird”, made the subject paranoid → lingering Eye

Fire twenty years ago that burned the Institute → Like the fire at Hilltop Road? Or like that time Gertrude tried to burn down the Institute?

Third floor was the most burned → assuming that's the top floor (and correct me if i'm wrong), wasn’t Jonah in (and later killed) on the top floor?

“offices like little cells” → employees were certainly trapped ! also Millbank Prison

Worried non-existent doors were going to slam shut → the Distortion

Weren’t any papers → left behind before the Institute came to this Somewhere Else (assuming it's the same Institute)? (we need an actual name for the original universe and this Somewhere Else)

Suspicious stains on some floors → my darling, that is blood ! or possibly squished worms, or ink. or possibly something Else

“an old wooden thing with a bunch of similar symbols on” → genuinely unsure what this could be

Strange symbols → For all the Fears, or just the Eye, i wonder? I think i remember them saying something about an Eye symbol at this point, but now i can't find where

“you get a job, I get a fresh victim. It’s all in your contract.” → Elias @ his employees

 “To new beginnings, with old friends” → to a new beginning, with our old friends Jon, Martin and Jimmy Magma :)

“You’re not as clever as you think you are. You think you've got us all fooled, that no-one knows you're listening, But I do. I know. I’m going to find you and then…” → hi what did he mean by this

They (jon, martin & jonah) are Watching and Listening and following through technology→ just like Elias (Panopticon vibes tbh) and Sergey Ushanka

Vaguer (idk if theres anyhting here, but wanted to include it anyway):

Alice loves coffee -> Martin loved tea

Meeting in a cemetery → Sasha with Michael pre-prentiss attack, Naomi Herne 

Not wanting to stay at home because it's full of memories → Jon moving with Georgie, Martin moving to the Archives

Gwen Bouchard wants Lena’s job → Bouchard (appeared to) climb the job ladder quicker than he should have

Heh bug list → corruption

 “You don’t seem like the usual hopeless wasters Lena hires” “The awful, terrible thing that landed you here?” → okayy no need to be rude. But anyways the OG Archives crew were actually pretty disconnected from the rest of the world +were barely there by choice?

“freight cars near Brighton” → hey where did Melanie get her first Slaughter mark ?

“it’s not too awkward working with an ex?” → Georgie and Jon?

FR3-d1 -> i feel like there's something there, but i cannot figure it out

Just words that made me irrationally scared:

Stranger(‘s)

Distortion

Opposites:

Starts with a party for someone leaving → couldn't quit the archives

“ …you are perfectly within your rights to resign. No one is forcing you to stay here.”

please put any opinions/additions in the tags !!

[my-magnus-rabbithole]

I have been trying to avoid spoilers for TMA, and I’m doing okay-ish, but here are some things I’ve spoiled myself in no particular order:

Jon gets powers, it has something to do with eyes.

Jon and Martin are cannon, this bring me great joy, i love them.

Elias murders Leitner, this involves a pipe and is extremely funny.

Jon gets kidnaped, from my understanding this happens more than once.

There's a cat named Admiral.

I think that's it, that's all I know. Everything else is a mystery.

[4stormfly]

Why Chester and Norris are probably more than just Jon and Martin’s voices

The ramblings of a madman who really wants his silly little guys back

Spoilers for up to tmagp episode 4

First of all, just because tmagp can be enjoyed without listening to tma, that doesn’t mean none of the characters from tma will come back. All sequels are designed to be enjoyable on their own, it would be bad writing otherwise. You never know where a new listener/viewer/reader will start, so everything needs to be able to be enjoyed by itself so that they continue to consume your content, but that doesn’t stop writers from including characters from the original work. Just look at Marvel movies. You don’t need to have watched every single movie that came before to enjoy Infinity War (I hadn’t, and I still loved Infinity War), but it’s still able to reference things from those previous movies without explaining the entire MCU at the time. Characters can come back from tma and tmagp can still be enjoyable for new listeners. These two things aren’t mutually exclusive.

One of the major theories is that the fears are just using their voices from the tapes. This doesn’t explain Augustus’ voice, though. His voice isn’t anywhere on the tma tapes, unless you want to say he’s a recast for Leitner, which doesn’t really make sense for any other reason than they sound similar. It’s much more likely that Augustus is og Jonah, since he was the only one in the panopticon with Jon and Martin (plus there’s no implication that Elias’s body in the rubble in MAG200, so Jonah could have been sent wherever Jon and Martin went).

As pointed out very often, even though we only have four cases read out by the text to speech voices, they all line up pretty well with the characters they would be. Chester reads the case about the dangers of the Magnus Institute, serving as a warning for what’s to come. Norris reads the cases about love and how easily it is to lose yourself to these fears. Finally, Augustus reads the case from the 18th century about a selfish man willing to use the fears to harm other people in order to get what he wants.

Another thing I don’t see mentioned a lot is the censorship around who Jonny, Alex, and Tim Fearon are playing. When the official cast was revealed, the characters they were playing were censored. On top of that, at the end of each episode, when listing the cast members and who they play, Jonny, Alex, and Tim Fearon are always listed as “additional voices” rather than as Chester/Norris/Augustus. It just seems like a weird thing to do if they end up being just text to speech programs.

Finally, the first case with “some of” Arthur coming back and Jonny’s statement on it about being careful for what you wish to come back because it’ll come back wrong just parallel the situation too well. It could be a coincidence, but it could also be some great foreshadowing.

[legendary-dumpster-fire]

The Magnus Archives as TBH Creatures Created By Someone Who Definitely Isn't An Artist (which means the shittiness is pretty much on purpose)

Disclaimer: before you go about saying "but what about [insert character here]???" I am not finished drawing them all, I will be adding to this post as I complete them

All of these files are already transparent, so yall can use these as discord stickers and emotes and whatnot, but just make sure to credit me!

First we have Jon + Martin

and then a gay version

next we have Elias + Peter

and naturally I had to make a divorce meme

heres my version of Michael pre-Distortion

(i dont have a post-distortion yet, am currently working on that)

Gerry

and then for you doorkeay shippers out there

and here are the rest, in order: Tim, Basira, Daisy, Melanie, and Melanie after MAG 154: Bloody Mary

oh, and one more, as a treat:

Feeter Lukas (the girls who get it, get it)

Enjoy these cursed images, and do with them what you will.

[vieramars]

Making this its own post bc it wasn't getting seen as a reblog

Re: a very niche oddly specific fluffy TMA au

So I'm in a swing dance club and I started thinking about what if the characters of the magnus archives were all in a swing dance club. Absolutely no regard for canon, just all the characters hanging out having a time.

Half the characters do not know how to dance. Some are really good at it. Elias is the club leader who thought having a position of authority would be fun but now he's stuck managing a room full of chaos gremlins with fear powers.

Half the playlist is mechs songs. Nikola insists on doing live music every few meets.

Jon watches tons of videos on swing moves in order to learn them and is constantly watching his feet to make sure he's doing the steps right. He's a follow and almost exclusively dances with Martin. Even though he helped form the club he perpetually has new awkward member energy. Still, once he's had plenty of time to practice a move, he can do it perfectly nine times out of ten.

Martin is a much more confident dancer than someone who'd just met him would think. He's a lead and his musicality is on point. He's really good at songs with tempo changes, and his favorite move is probably swing kicks.

Tim and Sasha are terrifying on the dance floor. Sasha's the lead and every dance she's trying to beat her own record for how many times she can spin Tim consecutively. They prefer open position and every other move is a basket turn. 

Michael showed up one day and just became part of the club by being there, then later invited Helen along. Both of them like to dance with pretty much everyone, and both of them love sliding doors. Sometimes involving actual distortion doors. Their dance moves are reality bending and they always have the flashiest outfits. Michael is ambidancetrous (comfortable leading or following) and Helen is a lead.

Agnes wears very thick gloves so that she can dance with people without burning their hands. To avoid accidents she's also very good at no-contact moves. Sometimes she brings Jack over for club meetings. She's a lead and her favorite move is sugar pushes though she also likes line dances and does the best charleston out of the whole group.

Daisy and Basira are inseparable. But they are both leads. Rather than dancing with other people they just solo jazz and line dance together.

No matter who she's dancing with or what moves they're doing Nikola is killing it. Her favorite dances are steal dances where everyone's rapidly switching partners. She's always the fastest to find a new partner and get back into step. She does everything with a flourish and is an expert at dips of any kind.

Melanie and Georgie are just vibing. Probably the calmest dancers in the room despite being far from the calmest people. Georgie can dance the entire length of the meeting without taking a break.

Gerry mostly only dances with Michael, Mike, or Tim because they can match his energy the best. He loves fast-paced songs and complicated moves, and can absolutely fuck it UP at the shim sham.

Mike Crew also really likes fast-paced dances and loves spinning his partner until they might as well be in the vast for how dizzy they are. Dancing with him comes with a spin at your own risk disclaimer.

Oliver is more of a slow song enjoyer, and he joins Jon and Nikola in the live music performances. While Agnes is the best at many variations of the charleston, Oliver is the best at the cowboy charleston specifically, and he can do it while playing a fiddle.

Peter Lukas REFUSES to dance except for rarely when Elias convinces him to, in which case they have a vibe that's somewhere between overly formal ballroom dancing and Morticia and Gomez doing the most. 

Jane Prentiss is mostly here for the snacks and the vibes but she joins in for warm-ups and line dances. The only person she'll dance together with is Agnes cause they both prefer the least amount of physical contact possible.

Annabelle Cane is the main dance instructor and she's a phenomenal teacher. She knows all the moves by heart and she's rocking the roaring 20s aesthetic. If she's leading a line dance, everyone's in perfect sync.

If I missed anyone lmk, this is all coming directly out of my brain so some characters might've gotten lost in the stream of consciousness. I'm open to asks about dance pairs, who leads/follows in that pair, and what songs they would pick if they had the floor 👀

By the way, dance pairs do not equal ships! I do ship a few of these pairs (and it makes sense to me for couples to gravitate towards dancing together), but anyone can dance with anyone!

[lesmurples]

(Spoilers for TMA and TMAGP below.)

Just remembered that Jonah’s desiccated original corpse was in the tunnels in TMA and had a flurry of TMAGP theories sprout in my brain. (I haven’t been in the fandom much recently, so apologies if any of this has already been said elsewhere.)

Maybe the thing coming out of the trap door in ep 10 is Jonah’s og zombie corpse? The body holding Jonah’s eyes and consciousness may have died, but in TMA it was indicated that this body needed to be killed in order to kill Jonah, or at least to kick him out of the Panopticon’s seat of power to make way for Martin. If it has any trace of life or Jonah (or just The Eye) left in it, maybe it could have slowly dragged itself up to that trap door over the years.

On that matter, maybe Elias became the new Jonah in this universe too, and that’s why Gwen is trying to learn more about this supernatural world. She either knew he had been changed, or she wants to know what happened that led to his death/disappearance after the fire - assuming that’s what happened to Elias in this world. (That or maybe Elias was also in the “gifted program” and something went terribly wrong.) something something we thought Alice was the new Tim but alas it was Gwen the whole time etc.

If Jonah was pulled from the TMA universe and isekai’ed into an ancient computer along with jmart, maybe he’s able to reach out to this parallel version of this body, possessing it to interact with the world or just puppeteering it.

On the subject of the fearsome threesome stuck in a computer, there is also the question of what “Chester”s game is, seemingly leading Sam on to fish around in the Magnus Institute ruins. Maybe his last message was a warning not to do this, but Sam seemed pretty resigned to not getting answers before that statement from artifact storage. Maybe “Chester” wanted to free a version of Jon himself from the tunnels, or maybe there’s a disconnect between the actions of “Jon” trying to lead Sam to answers and “Chester” sharing a forum thread in the first ep seemingly warning Sam to stay away from the Magnus Institute. Then again, maybe this too was trying to send Sam to the institute, since Sam seemed to have not thought about his experiences there for a long time. So maybe this whole thing really is Jon leading Sam to uncover these things, not wanting to be “another goddamn mystery,” and maybe the the thing crawling out of the basement is related to Jon. OR maybe there’s nothing stopping a trapped Jonah from using Jon’s voice for his own ends. After all, that email to Sam may have been from “Jon,” but consider that the first three letters of Jonah’s name are indeed J O N OH HO HO I SEE WHAT YOU’RE DOING JONNY, THEY CALLED ME MAD BUT I SAW THROUGH YOU THIS WHOLE TIME-

Anyway thank you for coming to my ted talk.

[see-arcane]

Alright having listened to TMP 1 and 2 now, current impressions:

-Samama is coming off like a blend of Sasha, Jon, and Martin circa season 1. Sasha's drive to investigate, Jon's role as the person placed in a New Position Under Scrutiny, and Martin's early friendliness/attempt to people please.

-Alice is my best friend. And possibly a spiritual cousin to Tim Stoker.

-Gwendolyn has a cross of Sasha (organized) and Basira (terse) in her clear ability to keep to the job's system*** and is understandably a bit hackle-raised between her asshole boss and the new guy seemingly poking holes in her methods. Surname obviously dangles the possibility of relation to Elias Bouchard--but whether this world's Elias is himself or not, or even alive, is up in the air.

-Oh, Lena. I don't care if she's eldritch or not, I am throwing the heaviest clunker computer in the building at her head. Other than that, there's the possibility that she's A) Got Jonah Magnus' eyes in her skull, B) This world's Web's Plan B should the Magnus Institute fall through, another backup avatar in case Jonah Magnus failed to stop Gertrude, or C) Somehow none of the above.***

-Colin sir, I cannot wait to see whatever secret brew you're working on. Show me the conspiracy's bones. I'm ready.

-CHESTER AND NORRIS. A) Jon and Martin are pulling a reverse Uno card and trying to use their familiar voices to wall off the Web's influence somehow, B) These are Jon and Martin's stolen voices that the Web is using to their own ends, or C) ...Jonathan Sims and Martin Blackwood are alive and well and non-avatared in this world and just so happened to get jobs recording spooky shit. Georgie hooked them up.

-***SO. About the """system""" involved with this lovely horrifying data entry position. These guys are recording statements. It's clear that avatars are still running around here doing their scary business. But what's getting to me is the fact that while these things are recorded and technically filed away, the system of organization, even with Gwendolyn's comparatively sharper intuition of the whats and wheres, the statements are seemingly purposefully dumped in "order" based on...you know. Vibes. Nothing concrete, nothing precise, and with the people working there going out of their way to insist nobody thinks about the work or the statements, period.

Which feels like a setup that falls very short of what the Eye or the Web would want. If there's a defined and understandable system that used to be there, whose rules of labeling were forgotten--perhaps erased?--that seems like someone's purposeful intention of putting at least a tiny wrench into the works. At least once that someone realized what that tidy organization was accidentally aiding. Who that might be, I can't guess yet.

But.

Because hope springs eternal, I do have an idea of where the Office of Incident Assessment and Response--replete with that very, very interesting classical logo--came from in the first place. If not Jonah Magnus, then someone else who's aware of the Fears. Maybe someone who was touched by the Eye and was appalled? Enough to want to do something about this horror, however small. Say, someone taken notice of around the same time as Jonah Magnus?

Jonathan Fanshawe, sir.

Was this you?

[late-to-the-magnus-archives]

Tea - a Magnus Archives one-shot

"You must be Martin. Jon used to go on about you a lot."

In MAG 149, season 4, Georgie recognized Martin the moment she saw him just from Jon's descriptions, but we didn't get to hear that.

Have a glimpse into my mind-palace of how it could have happened.

Notes: none. This is just fluff. Spoilers thrugh season 4.

AO3

------

“And then Martin—would you believe this—let a dog into the Archives! A dog! ”

“A whole-ass dog, eh?” said Georgie, sipping her tea, trying not to sound dubious.

“It took him all day to get that thing back out of my Archives. Ridiculous.”

“So… you didn’t fire him?”

“No, I didn’t fire him! Elias put him there for some reason, and I… well, I thought it might be more suspicious if I got him out of the way. The next spy could be worse.”

Spies. Dogs. Evil bosses. “Are you still not going to tell me whatever happened at your weird cult workplace?” she said.

He glared over his coffee. “No, I am not going to tell you what happened at my weird cult workplace. Just. He also makes good tea. That’s all.”

“Bully for him.” She left to go to work.

#

“And then you wouldn’t believe… Martin insisted on ice cream for his birthday. Like we were all children!”

“Oh, no,” Georgie said, pencil posed over her crossword puzzle. “Whatever did you do?”

“Well, I ordered ice cream, of course. No need to rock the boat,” Jon said, leaning on his Oxford English drawl. 

“No, no need to do that,” said Georgie. “What kind?”

He huffed. “Rum and raisin. It was serviceable.”

She knew him too well. “You talked about emulsions again, didn’t you?”

If Jon had feathers, they would have ruffled. “Yes, I talked about emulsions! They’re an important part of modern food theory!”

Georgie laughed, filled out wiseguy for a seven-letter know-it-all prompt, and called it a day.

#

“Martin insists on tea. Insists on it. If I don’t have a hot cuppa, he just… he…” Jon gestures.

“He what?” said Georgie, who really wasn’t sure where he was going with this.

“Well, he gets all… big-eyed, and sad, as if I somehow did it at him,” Jon mumbled, looking down. “I have drunk more tea in the last two years than in my entire life.”

“With your grandmother? I doubt that,” said Georgie, who had come into the picture early enough to meet her before she passed.

“No, she insisted I make tea. She never truly cared if I drank it,” Jon mumbled into his empty cup. “Martin cared.” And then he stared at the leaves at the bottom as though offended they were all that remained.

“Well, I’m sure my tea-making skills hardly compare,” said Georgie.

“They don’t,” said Jon, who did not mean cruelty by it.

Georgie spoke fluent Jon. She understood he wasn’t saying, You suck. He was saying, I miss Martin’s tea. “Are you sure you can’t reach out to him? Maybe outside of work?”

Jon went deep red. “I can’t do that.”

“You sure? I’m sure he’d love to hear from you.”

“No,” Jon said softly, looking now at the floor. “I can’t talk to anybody. It isn’t safe.”

“Safe?” she said.

He seemed to realize he’d said too much. “I… excuse me.” And he closed himself in the guest bedroom to make another of his weird tape recordings.

#

“I’m telling you, Martin might be sending them!” he said, holding up another batch of suspicious documents.

Georgie was fuming. “How could he be? Did you tell Martin where I live?”

“I… no, I didn’t.”

“Then I doubt he’s sending them.”

“I just thought… no, you’re right. I doubt he misses me at all,” said Jon, hangdog supreme.

Georgie threw her hands in the air. As Jon’s ex, she didn’t really think she had the right to push it further.

#

“Martin made me take his jumper home, and it… well, I never returned it. It’s so very comfortable! I feel oddly safe in it. Isn’t that odd?” A confession, wide-eyed, over breakfast. 

“Martin hates oolong,” said Jon over lunch and oolong. “I’m not sure why. Something to do with his mother, I think.”

“Martin always smiles. It’s suspicious,” Jon declared over dinner.

Georgie began to tune it out.

#

“He was terrible at research,” Jon mumbled late as they both sipped some brandy. “But he always tried so hard. He brought in a jar of worms once, did I tell you that?”

“Uh, no?” said Georgie. “Why would he bring in a jar of worms?”

Jon waved his shot glass. “Reasons,” he said like the grim reaper.

Georgie shook her head and threw back the last of her shot before going to bed.

#

Later, much later, Georgie went to the Magnus Institute, trying to find Melanie. She hated the place; it gave her the creeps, and not only because of what she now knew about Jon. It wasn’t even proper fear. It was just yucky, like something slimy between her toes.

Finding no one, she wandered downstairs, into the Archives, and spotted a man at a desk. He was tall, kind of cuddly-wide; his hair was curly and red, and his freckles were bright. His eyes were, intriguingly, the same color Jon had wistfully described as spring green one very late night.

Like Jon, he had a tape recorder going. She was really beginning to hate those things.

He did a double-take. “Oh, you can’t be here. It’s not allowed.”

“Sorry, Melanie told me to wait for her here,” Georgie said.

“You’re here for Melanie?” the man clarified, standing (good lord, he was tall).

“Yeah. I’m Georgie.”

And out came the smile (which Jon had described) and the awkward aw-shucks body language with one hand behind his head (which Jon had also described). “Sorry, sorry, I didn’t realize! I’m sure she’s around here somewhere.”

She knew. He could’ve been conjured from Jon’s imagination for how perfect he was for that man. “You must be Martin.”

He blinked. “Has Melanie been talking about me?”

“No, um. Jon used to go on about you a lot.”

Martin brightened like the sun shining, and then Georgie had to go on for minutes about why she wouldn’t help Jon anymore.

Which Martin insisted she should.

Hell. Jon had no chance. They both had it so bad.

She still didn’t like this place. She still had issues with Jon and everything Jon was doing; but this… she could see this.

Martin and Jon, Jon and Martin. It worked in her head. They fit. 

She hoped it worked out. 

She hoped Jon didn’t drag Martin with him to the grave.

[hauntedhotel]

So I know I literally just reblogged this post about Tim being a well-meaning but useless matchmaker in the archives but you don't understand, the concept has bewitched me body and soul.

I'm not gonna lie, this is definitely a scenario where you're gonna have to look canon in the eye and say "not today, demon" but imagine a season 3 au where Sasha never got taken by the Not!Thing and Jon either never suspected his colleagues of trying to kill him or if he did, he handled it a lot better and eventually actually apologised to Tim for the stalking, so there's a sort of friendlier vibe to the whole team than there is in canon.

So Martin starts acting all fluttery and flustered and Tim figures it's because there's a bunch of new people in the archives now and Martin likes one of them.

In reality, it's actually because Martin and Jon are going on their daily lunch dates and occasionally getting drinks after work and what was, at best, a cordial working relationship is becoming a friendship and Martin has a little glimmer of hope for the first time that Jon might feel the same way about him as he does about Jon.

Tim sees none of that, but he's determined to help Martin with whichever one of the new ladies on the team he likes, and sets up various ridiculous, contrived scenarios in which romance might happen with each of them. Sasha has the whole thing figured out from the beginning, but this is something for Tim to focus on that isn't the evil eldritch circus that killed his beloved brother, so she's willing to give him a certain amount of freedom to meddle.

So at first Tim is like, "okay so probably it's Melanie, right? They kind of bicker a bit but they both seem to have fun while they're doing it so maybe it's meant in a flirty way" but then Tim clocks Georgie and Melanie kissing on their way into the archive one morning and is like "ah...perhaps not".

So then he's like, "hmm, when I thought that Jon was hooking up with Basira, honestly Martin seemed kind of weirdly moody about the whole thing - maybe it's because he likes Basira?" but then his plan to lock them in document storage together until the tension boils over completely fails when between them all they do is actually manage to get it into some kind of order for the first time ever.

So then he's like, "well...honestly Martin seemed kind of petrified of Daisy when she first started here but some people are into that vibe! And she hasn't tried to stab Jon or threatened to frame anyone for murder in...Sasha, check the poster we made...right! Five days! So maybe it's Daisy!" and he orchestrates it so that Daisy and Martin have to go and do follow-up on the same statement and thinks it'll give them a chance to spend some quality time together, but then they get back from the job and Daisy has bloody hands and a satisfied expression and Martin looks traumatised and refuses to discuss it.

So Tim gets a bit desperate and he sits down at Sasha's desk and eventually says, "....maybe it's Elias?" and then Sasha just jumps up from her desk like, "for god's sake, before we all get fired just...look at this--"

And she opens the door to Jon's office to show Jon and Martin kissing against the filing cabinet and Tim's like, "ooooh...you know with hindsight actually it's pretty obvious."

[doofus-and-dragons]

This will more than likely be the last one of these I have. So, for the last time, here is my live reaction to the final season of TMA. These will be in no particular order because ice been listening to it over the span of a couple of weeks. I only listen to it at work.

TMA S5 Spoilers ahead

The cabin episode made me so sad. The eyepocolypse had even taken away their domestic bliss

I really don't remember the trenches that well. It's not a fear of mine, so it didn't shake me or stick well enough. Still good tho

The sickness episode sent me right back to senior year of highschool. I had to take a minute KXNSKXN

REVOLUTIONS WAS AMAZING I LOVED THE POETRY AND THE ACENGING OF SASHA BY KILLING NOT!SASHA. I love it.

At first I thought the worms was about Jane again but I was very wrong. It was a very interesting take!

Curiosity made me incredibly sad. I feel bad for Eric, Micheal, and Sarah(? Trinity? I don't remember. She was set on fire by a desolation avatar I think)

Also: Gertrude x Agnes perhaps???? Or at least solemn pinning? Maybe I just think it's slightly tragic to make it so and sometimes angst is good yknow?

Roots was ok, but the only part that stuck out to me was the jealous Martin scene. I listened to it like 3 times. I kept rewinding it just to list to it.

Fire Escape was SO good! It gave me a kind of manic energy as I listened to the descriptions of the fire.

Martin in the Lonely again made me cry. That's it.

"Who's this? Your boyfriend?" "Yes actually." "Oh...so is there anyway this doesn't end in me dead?"

The Basira and Daisy stuff actually did make me feel bad for Basira. Like, it's the apocalypse and she's having a whole ass crisis.

SALESA WAS INCREADIBLE

I wonder how he faked his death... man is talented and smart, I'll give him that

Skipping ahead to Martin's domain. Loved that. My boy isn't strictly human and I love that he can't deny that fact anymore.

Martin: Something something "one of you"

Jon, being a smug theater kid bastard boy: "One of us."

Like I heard that and I imagined him smirking ominously and gesturing with both his hands

He sounded so pleased that his boyfriend, as miniscule a role it had or that martin had, was like him, and I love that for him

I'm so glad Melanie and Georgie are happy. Though, the cult does weird me out (cults give me the heebie jeebies. It was a very nice touch!)

They deserve nice things.

Also, my favorite of the Cult members was Anil's character. I can't remember his name right off the top of my head, but he was wonderful. Anil did amazing with that little cameo/role

The scene where's he's arguing with Martin reminds me of that Jojo meme with jotoro and dio, but instead of stands they have their poetry clutched tight in their fists

"I dont need a poet." No, Jon, because you already have one. His name is Martin

Of course Jon gets trapped in the ocean when he doesn't have big string martin to row him out of it XD

SOMEWHERE ELSE SOMEWHERE ELSE SOMEWHERE ELSE

Annabelle Cane is wonderful, I'm so glad Jon didn't kill her. She's so chummy with Martin up until she has to be a dramatic villain and I love that for her!

The ladder episode made me grin like a maniac manly because I would be the Martin in that situation. I love the feeling of falling/floating, but I hate actually getting myself to fall. I physically can't do it. I can barely dive into the lake from my papaw's boat

Martin, there are thousands of fanfics that dive into you two getting together without the trauma. Don't even.

NO JON THE PLAN

Hey, real elias! That's where him being a stoner comes from! Because he is one! Nice.

I love og Elias, and I would protect him with my life I don't care.

Oh wait it was just Magnus dreaming

JON NO THE PLAN FUCKING HELL

I almost cried when Martin was yelling at Jon. The boys are fighting

THE KISS HOLY SHIT ALEX SAKD THEY WOULDNT KISS THEY KISSED AH

They're somewhere else being happy and domestic now you can't change my mind

[cardentist]

Context: [Link]

I am This Close 🤏 to saying that jon stalking his coworkers was objectively moral actually.

this is a series where every single main character has killed people and you either die or get turned into a monster or get turned into a monster And Die (in either order). going “but stalking is bad :(” completely misses the point that all of the characters know monsters are real and want to kill them, and in turn have to kill monsters too. that survival in this world means turning into a monster (either literally or figuratively) while still delicately trying to maintain your own humanity despite it.

Yes jon hurt tim and martin’s feelings. Yes that’s important to understand when talking about their relationships. but there was as much emphasis put on the stalking arc in canon because Both elias and the not!them were knowingly taking advantage of jon’s paranoia To encourage that rift between jon and his (living) coworkers And mark jon with the not!them.

we aren’t supposed to take away from that arc that jon was doing a uniquely horrific thing that didn’t fit the situation, we’re supposed to be faced with the fridge horror of what it Means when elias and ““sasha”“ treat jon like he’s acting irrationally By treating it as a normal workplace harassment case. two monsters with the intent of killing everybody else in the room with them insisting that fear of monsters is irrational. two monsters Feeding on that fear and paranoia and anger as they smile and try to “fix” the situation. jon is Right, but nobody will believe him because the monsters are the ones controlling the narrative. That is the dramatic irony.

everybody knows that stalking in real life is wrong, in real life people don’t get eaten by worms in their office. jon’s gonna explode an old man with his mind, It’s Fine, It’s Fine