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nottoofondofgaypeople · 4 months

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You should make a long post about Laurance

You are so lucky I got that Vylad ask before this... Ohhh boy

Full stop, this post is probably going to be one of the longest things I post on this Nether forsaken website. Laurance has been a comfort character since I first watched this series years ago in spite of all the bull shit Jesson put him through. I have many many many thoughts on him, and none of them will be organized.

I'm fairly confident that this post will get into some very unhinged territories, I cannot be normal about this man

I feel like this should go without saying, but all of the headcanons I have dumped onto Laurance on my main blog apply to this rewrite. Including this one which you have definitely all seen, and all Shadow Knight headcanons are also canon here.

But let's talk about this rewrite specifically. Because when Laurance comes back from the Nether, and he confesses his love, the mother fucker does it! He actually gets Irena to say she at least feels something towards him! It isn't much, but she doesn't get all awkward when he says that he loves her, and she's supremely gentle with him while helping him with his recovery. This really quickly turns into romance and the two are effectively dating shortly after.

Yeah Laurance's eyes aren't magically fucking cured to perfection, that's stupid an abelist.

Actually, because I want peak recovery arc material out of this rewrite Laurance is going to get to spend a lot of time learning how to fight with this new form. His body has been pretty significantly altered from the process of undeath and also the torture. I'm so for real when I say Laurance has so many scars, just so many of them, 18 million scars all over his everything. He already had some from being a stupid fucking child, but these ones are a lot uhm... bigger.

Laurance has to adjust to the new symptoms of his body. A lot of them are slow, appearing over time. The first major thing Laurance notices is that when he stops thinking of breathing for long enough, he just stops breathing. Shadow Knights don't need to breathe, so their body doesn't naturally do it. But Laurance never fully died, so he kind of does need to breathe?? And this is just where it starts.

I think the doll symptoms start kicking in a lot slower than I initially thought of. There's still the first time that it happens, but then it doesn't happen as often. Maybe once or twice, but the next time Laurance really deals with that is during the Season 1 finale (but it isn't Garroth that knocks him out (but that's a whole post unto itself)). Going into Season 2 though, it gets worse and worse. As the Shadow King has more influence over the Overworld, the calling gets stronger and stronger.

More often than not the calling manifests as a whisper in the back of Laurance's mind, something that sends a tingle down his spine and not in a good way. His blood runs hot, and he can feel his body pulled to Irena. Like his blood is tied to her life force and constantly trying to bring her to it. And any time he's around her, that voice gets louder, starts multiplying as he fights it, all of them demanding him to kill, to do it, to free himself of the burden, to gain eternal life.

Laurance doesn't want eternal life though!! He never has!! He wants to fall in love and start a family and grow old with his partners!!

Okay so going into Laurance's childhood a bit, I've said it before and I'll say it again, Laurance is the mcd equivalent of a theater kid and yet somehow fumbled in choosing his class and ended up as a fighter instead of a bard, the goof. He picked up the Lyre when he was a teenager, mostly because his father bought one and expressed an interest in teaching Laurance how to play, and he was all over that.

He stops playing it when he goes to the guard academy cause they just don't have instruments there (which is a crime), but he does still spend a lot of time remembering songs and finger placements, mans is doing whatever he can to make sure he doesn't fall out of practice. When Laurance comes back to Meteli as an official guard he celebrates by having a party in the town and finally getting to play his beloved lyre again.

He doesn't play it as much when he's a guard, but he always tries to stay in practice. And he won't let any blindness get in the way either, his muscle memory is so on point he barely needs his eyes unless he's reading sheet music, which is usually right in front of him.

I could seriously go into a whole character analysis of comparing Laurance to Orpheus, specifically from Hadestown, like I really want to, but I'll restrain myself to just the general myth of Orpheus and Eurydice. Laurance really thought he could walk into hell and defy the gods. He really thought he could just do that. And even when he was faced with punishment, when Orpheus was forced to stay in the Underworld in her place, he endured it all for her. And actually this is so funky the roles are kind of reversed. Because Irena is the one who can't turn around to look at Laurance when they're running out of hell. If she does, she will die. That is guaranteed. Eurydice has always acted in the assurance of her survival. Unlike Orpheus in the same position, she can manage to not turn her head.

Hhhhhhg Laarmau as Orpheus and Eurydice is literally everything to me you don't understand.

And yes Laurance being Orpheus coded is why I gave him a Lyre, I won't even deny that. Like, c'mon, Laurance very earnestly trying to earn Irena's affection and saying "I also play the lyre" and Irena snarking back "A liar and a player too? I've met too many men like you." I'm--

Stay focused!! This is not the Hadestown post!!

What if Laurance was like obscenely physically affectionate? Like he's so so so physical, he loves having a point of contact with someone at all times. It doesn't have to be anything big either. He just likes wrapping his arm around Garroth's shoulder, or having Irena play with his hair. It was something important before the Shadow Knight transformation, and he only needed it more as time went on. The feeling of his lovers heartbeat reminds him he's alive.

And other people touching him reminds Laurance he still has this body. In spite of all the Shadow Kings control, he has control of his own body in this moment and he is using that control to show love and care and that matters to him more than anything. He likes holding hands, putting his hands on people, having other people do the same, even the smallest amount of affection is enough for him to selfishly crave more.

Laury likes singing a lot. His voice got a little deeper after the Shadow Knight thing because his vocal chords got just a little shredded in the Nether, but he still loves singing and singing with his friends and lovers. Laurance singing some sappy love song to Garroth who is just completely smitten, or singing some silly little campfire song to boost Cadenza's mood when she's having a bad day.

THE TABLE BIT!! I simply adore the table bit!! All of it! And it's even better in my rewrite cause even if the dialogue and the scene plays out almost exactly the same, they're in love while doing this silly bit!! Such fucking dorks I want to throw them against concrete.

Thinking about Laurance and Ungrith. Laurance finding this wyvern in the forest while exploring one day and befriending it almost instantly because Laurance is just a very kind person. Even if Ungrith isn't allowed to be with his brethren, it's okay because this weird fuckin kid is really entertaining and a genuinely great friend. I know it isn't possible but a scene where Laurance, Garroth, and their wyvern childhood friends get to hang out and talk would probably fix all my problems.

Raven doesn't literally anyone but Garroth touch him, but when Irena tells him about Ungrith, he's willing to let Laurance pet his scales or whatever you do to show affection to a flying lizard. It's not the same, but it's better than nothing.

Laurance's favorite place to kiss other people is on the cheeks, but his favorite spot to be kissed is the forehead. I think that he doesn't admit this to people, rather lets them figure it out. Both Garroth and Irena figure out Laurance likes kissing their cheeks a lot, like he does it constantly, especially because Garroth has freckles and Laurance is determined to kiss every single one of them.

Garroth is the one who learns about Laurance's affinity for forehead kisses cause he's only like two inches taller than Laurance, but that difference matters a lot to both of them. And Garroth can tell very easily from the way Laurance always loves looking up at him with those big doe eyes. Once he tells Irena this, she starts asking Laurance to bend over or kneel in front of her so she can kiss his forehead very tenderly.

Because I made Garrancemau polycule real in my rewrite, Laurance's calling latched onto Irena, but man oh man, it tempts him with Garroth sometimes. He fights so hard to protect Irena partially because if she dies by someone else's hands, he knows it'll latch onto Garroth. And sometimes the calling urges him towards it anyway, considering it'll work. A calling is best answered by the death of a lord, but the death of another guard isn't always a bad thing.

Every time Laurance runs from his lovers to fight the calling he feels so cold without them. Like if he bothers to try sleeping while on his own it just feels so cold. So empty. It doesn't feel right to try to sleep without Irena in his arms and Garroth snuggled up behind him and a blanket over the three of them.

I think Laurance cries a lot. He doesn't really have hang ups about showing his emotional side until he's a shadow knight, and even after, he only tries to hide his anger. He never hides his anguish, his sadness, his absolute misery as a result of the nightmare he was forced to live through. Laurance's crying is so loud, so wretched, almost agonizing for him. It forces his entire body to shake and tremble, sobs being wrung out of him almost forcefully.

I want. him. to be okay. and happy. and I know he won't be. Aughfhhg.

#minecraft diaries #mcd rewrite #minecraft diaries rewrite #text post #aphblr #mcd headcanons #writing #laurance zvahl #laurance mcd #minecraft diaries garroth #garroth ro'meave #mcd aphmau #mcd cadenza #mcd kenmur #way too long #so many words #gay block men

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avastrasposts · 1 month

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Sourdough - A Baker's Dozen TedTalk

I’ve mentioned sourdough a few times in A Baker’s Dozen but I never dedicated a chapter to it even though it’s probably my personal favourite to bake. So to make up for that, I’m indulging in making a whole post about my other obsession, sourdough bread!

I love baking with sourdough because the process behind it is like magic to me. Flour, water and salt, three ingredients, and you can get the most delicious bread. The magic, unseen, ingredient is of course those wild yeast bacteria that live around us.

My mum was always the one who baked sweet things around the house when I was a kid, my dad made the bread. When he first got into it he produced bricks. You legit could’ve used some of his loaves as a foundation for a house. And I’ve produced my fair share of bricks in my baking career too… But he got better and for most of my life I had the luxury of having fresh, homemade bread for breakfast. That’s where my need to make my own bread came from and once I got past the novelty of being “allowed” to buy bread from the store after moving out of my parent’s house, I got into making my own bread pretty fast.

I started baking with sourdough about ten years ago when I stumbled on a blog about it. My first loaves were flat as pancakes and it took A WHILE before I graduated from baking in bread tins to managing to make loaves that actually held their shape. Sourdough dough does not behave like regular yeasted dough… But when I did manage to make my first proper levain, you know one of those beautiful golden loaves with nice holes and crunchy crust? I ate the whole loaf in one day. I couldn’t stop. Just butter, some sea salt and that was my food for the whole day. I’d never tasted bread so good. It’s tangy and flavourful in a way that yeasted bread just can’t imitate.

I’m no expert but here is how I make and manage my starter and my bread. Important to remember is that flour, water and climate, especially the humidity, has a HUGE effect on the dough and the bread. No recipe will have the same results and to a certain extent, it’s a process of trial and error and learning how to bake in YOUR kitchen.

In order to make sourdough, you need a starter and it’s surprisingly easy to make and maintain. I have a tiny starter, only about half a cup in size. The starter is your “yeast”, a small colony of yeast bacteria that you feed and culture so that you have enough for whatever you want to bake.

The starter takes about 5-7 days to make and once you have it, you can keep it in the fridge and just feed it before you want to bake.

So to make it you need:

Organic whole wheat flour, stone milled if you can find it.

Organic will contain more yeast spores and make the process easier. Don’t use old flour, check the expiration date of the flour you have at home. Flour can actually go rancid and wreck your bread.

Water

I use tap water but if you live somewhere with chlorinated water, use bottled water. The chlorination will kill all bacteria, the good and the bad.

A clean jar with a lid.

It doesn’t have to be a clear glass jar but it’s pretty handy because it makes it easy to see what’s going on.

Ok, now that we’ve got everything, let’s start.

Day 1 - Evening

1 tablespoon flour

2 tablespoons tepid water (roughly body temp, maybe a bit cooler)

The amount of water you need to add can vary depending on how your flour has been milled. The mixture should be like gruel, not porridge. If two tablespoons isn’t enough, add a little bit more water until you have a fairly loose and liquid slurry.

Mix together in the jar, put the lid on top but don’t screw the lid on. Leave for 48 hours in a warm place. Inside the oven (turned off) is a pretty good place.

You can check on your jar after 24 hours. It’s pretty liquid and should smell warm and a bit sweet, almost like honey. If you see any brighter colours in it, red, yellow, orange, I’m sorry, but you have to toss it. That’s mold and that’s not what we want. So throw it out, start again (this is one benefit of this method, all you lost was a tablespoon of flour).

Day 3 - Evening

Ok, so if your flour/water mix is looking good, a bit liquidy, maybe it’s separated a bit, maybe a bit bubbly and frothy, we’re all good for the next step.

Add 1 tablespoon of flour and mix in. Leave it overnight.

Day 4 - Morning

If the starter is on the right track now, you should begin to see small bubbles on the side of it, inside the glass jar. It should smell sour and yeasty, “bready”.

Add 2 tablespoons of flour and two tablespoons of water and mix it in. Leave until evening.

And that’s it! By evening you might/should see that there’s activity in the jar, bigger bubbles forming, the starter will rise up in the jar and expand, just like a dough. If it doesn’t, feed it 1 tablespoon of water and flour again and leave it overnight. Like I said at the beginning, lots of different factors are at play here so despite the fact that it’s all chemistry, it’s not an exact science (well it is, but since we can’t measure all the factors in each individual kitchen, we need to depend on a bit of trial and error).

So now you have a starter and can start playing around with making bread. I won’t go into that because there are so many good instructional videos online. I can really recommend Claire Saffitz’s video, I’ll link it below.

Obviously this starter is very small. Many recipes I’ve seen online call for much bigger starters and then discard half of it when they feed it but that always seems very wasteful to me. So what I do with my tiny little starter is just keep it in the fridge in its jar. When I plan on baking I take about 30 grams of starter and put it in a bowl and mix with 100g water and 100g strong bread flour. That is then the base for my bread the next day. To that mix I add whatever flour I’m baking with. The starter gets fed another tablespoon of flour and water and stays on my countertop overnight. That replenishes the starter and gives me enough for the next time I want to bake. In all, I usually have about 150-200 ml of starter in the fridge at any time.

If I’m not baking, the starter stays in the fridge. I’ve had it there for a month without feeding (I was away travelling) and when I got home, I just fed it like above and left it out overnight. I had to feed it a couple of times before it got back to full strength. But the yeast bacteria don’t seem to die very easily, they just go dormant and are easily revived with flour and water.

Fun fact, the actual science behind the yeast bacteria is that they eat the carbs in the flour and then convert that into energy and emit the gas carbon dioxide. The gluten strands in the dough traps that gas and makes the dough rise. So essentially, farts make the dough rise, tiny bacteria farts. I love science :D

What else did I want to say about sourdough? Oh yeah, TIME! Time will make your bread taste better! And this goes for regular yeasted bread too. By letting the dough cold proof in the fridge the yeast activity is slowed down but at the same time, flavour develops. With sourdough, you get a tangier, more sour bread. I usually keep my loaves in the fridge for 24 hours before baking them, same for my pizza dough.

So thanks for coming to my TedTalk about sourdough! It’s amazing and frustrating and a real pain sometimes but when you get it right and you get to cut into that perfect loaf that YOU MADE and it tastes better than anything you’ve had, that’s real magic.

youtube

#Youtube

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escape-from-arcadia · 1 year

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To The Ends of Our World: Prologue and Chapter 1

A Pre-Canon Douxie-centric Wizards Fic

A wicked king, a runaway sorceress, and a young boy... Ever since the disappearance of his mother left him under the care of Master Wizard Merlin Ambrosius, Hisirdoux Casperan has tried to be a good child. He is diligent in his work and studies, and his boundless enthusiasm for all things magical never wavers. All he hopes is that one day his efforts will be enough to become a master wizard himself and bring his mother back home. But on his thirteenth birthday, everything changes. Sudden flashes of memories that occur at seemingly random times and secrets Douxie's mother tried so desperately to keep hidden begin to spill out into the light. Douxie is starting to uncover a plot far greater than anything he ever could have imagined, but can the young apprentice evade the people trying to keep him from learning the truth of his mother's disappearance? What is it that they're trying so desperately to keep hidden? And will Douxie like what he finds?

General content warning for dark themes (abuse, mild gore, violence, depression). More tags will be added to the AO3 work as the story is written since most don't appear until later in the work. However, you can expect content involving torture, suicide, and a major (and a minor) character death in future chapters. There may be other untagged things that I haven't thought of yet or planned on.

Hi.

I'm back.

Maybe.

Long Convoluted Author's Notes Under the Cut:

I'm not doing particularly well (guess who got a mild case of Covid a week before winter break? lol), but here to say I've started a new fic. I like writing angst when I'm sad. And this slightly convoluted pre-Wizards origin story came to me in a dream. I planned most of it out, wrote the prologue and a few chapters, published it, and realized that since all of my content is now on archive-lock, I should probably promote the fic here.

So here we are.

No update schedule.

No minimum (or maximum) chapter word count.

No clue when it ends.

No beta.

We ball.

So this story doesn't have a hidden meaning or big message you should get by the end of it. It's just an angsty mystery drama with some cliches just because. And the ending (I know what the ending is for once, yes) is very cliche and annoying because it lets me say "Nothing is stopping me from making this canon!" Anyway...

You'll get to see a take on a younger Douxie and Merlin's very...complicated relationship with him. You'll see another interpretation of how Douxie and Archie meet!! You'll see a 17-year old Zoe!!! You'll meet two (2)!!! OCs I suddenly came up with while planning out this story!!!!!! One is a mean lesbian and the other is a cool cleric!!! You'll also see Douxie's mom!!!! Because she is very plot-relevant!!!

I was scared of publishing this fic because compared to a lot of the stuff I've written before (especially coming out of ADAU - I still owe y'all posts), this is much darker. I've written stories about time loops and the inevitability of death and somehow the existentialistic dread I got from writing that left me less unsettled than this fic. To be fair, I'm not working with a beta so this might actually be a lot lighter than I think it is. But compared to my other works, it is...a few shaders darker.

If you do read the fic, I'd be really glad to hear your feedback and comments. Yell at me if there are typos (because stars know I'll miss something as I'm editing). Ask me questions. And if you think there is something there that needs to be tagged, please let me know; I'll add it to the AO3 work tags.

All this is to say that I am very grateful if you managed to read this entire post. Thank you for bearing with me and this blog being...something. It's been abandoned and resurrected several times, and my relationship with this fandom is still a little bit funky. But hey, I've learned to make stuff for myself and on my own time. And if this content isn't your particular cup of tea, you can always not read it. And this blog is just for fun, no pressure to make content, so yeah. I'm going to have fun on the internet.

I guess I'm back.

P.S. I am yearning for more people I can share these darker fics/AUs with, but I'm also very anxious and very busy. Just saying, if anyone has Discord (or a server) and/or doesn't mind sporadic appearances that may or may end up leading to very long conversations, my DMs are open.

#tales of arcadia #to the ends of our world #wizards toa #wizards tales of arcadia #tales of arcadia fic #hisirdoux casperan #ananonswriting #abuse mention tw #depression mention tw #violence mention tw #death mention tw #suicide mention tw

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jadefyre · 10 months

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why is it SO overwhelming trying to run a little stationery shop by myself. i have the stuff to sell, i just… can’t seem to organize myself? like i have ideas for what to do next, and I even have some sales under my belt now, but I simultaneously have a vague idea of what I need to do next, and no idea how to go about making myself DO it.

part of it is the adhd and my executives dysfunctioning constantly. part of it is not being great at Applying Knowledge i learn online.

it’s like I need someone to tell me, okay, now do this. done it? good. now do that, and when you’re done, do this other thing.

I simultaneously want to be my own boss and also to have someone essentially boss me around. (i am great at Following Instructions and Performing Tasks at the behest of other people. but when I’m trying to do it for me, it doesn’t work, because I’m the one in charge. you get it.)

the other thing is, I would love to hire someone to fill the role if Advisor/Coach, but that costs money that I don’t have because I’m not doing what I need to do because I can’t make myself start. a vicious cycle.

but sometimes I think, oh, I just need to do [task] before I start anything else, and that’ll unblock me. but the KICKER. the kicker is that I’m also blocked on doing that task. and i’m not even sure if doing that task will open the floodgates or not. i just suspect it’s causing most of my hesitation.

all that said, uh, maybe go follow my (sorely neglected) art blog @jadefyredraws where I might start posting more shop-relevant things now that I actually have a shop open under that name. if you want. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

(i may continue to post Overwhelmed Shop Owner things here, though, given that this is my personal blog and these are my personal feelings. etc.)

if you’ve read all the way to the end, I appreciate you. have a cookie (with bonus juice box. i could really go for a juicebox rn...) 🍪🧃

#jade’s adventures in the art business #support artists #small creators

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erisenyo · 1 year

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I posted 9,962 times in 2022

That's 8,564 more posts than 2021!

116 posts created (1%)

9,846 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@honeyedsunlight

@chitsangenthusiast

@lizardlicks

@marriedzukka

@unpretty

I tagged 6,597 of my posts in 2022

Only 34% of my posts had no tags

#gorgeous - 91 posts

#amazing - 82 posts

#fic writing - 73 posts

#adorable - 71 posts

#asks and answers - 68 posts

#boost! - 64 posts

#lol - 62 posts

#this is amazing - 57 posts

#atla - 48 posts

#so cute - 48 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#how long before the fire lord suddenly decides he needs a weapons master again and humbly but firmly requests piandao temporarily relocate?

My Top Posts in 2022:

For @zukkaweek Day 3: Spooning/Bedsharing (and maybe some domesticity too) - some friends to lovers, realization of feelings all the way to establish relationship tooth-rotting fluff, inspired by the wonderful @lizardlicks

[There are rules for sleeping with Zuko.

Sokka realizes that fact before he even starts doing it, back in those late days of the war when Zuko catches sight of the fresh bruise blooming over Sokka’s cheek one morning and teases him about getting distracted sparring with Suki, and Sokka doesn’t know how to say that actually, Zuko fell asleep by the fire last night and the reason Zuko woke up there too is because when Sokka tried to shift him to his bedroll, Zuko kicked him in the face in his sleep.] Or, From avoiding bodily injury to getting him to fall asleep in an actual bed, there are rules for sleeping with Zuko. Sokka might just find his way to learning them all.

197 notes - Posted May 24, 2022

Zuko, trying to confess his feelings during a maybe-date: It's not just about the physical stuff. I want, like, all that gooey stuff, too.

Sokka: ...?

Zuko: You know. That big word that's so hard to say.

Sokka: Oh. Worcestershire Sauce

(Was reading "Chaliced Flowers" by @zukka96 and got hit by this piece of comedy)

199 notes - Posted January 18, 2022

Do share your very strong feelings about Ozai eroding the traditional divisions between adult and child.

@eshusplayground ask and ye shall receive in spades haha, I've been thinking about this a lot recently as I think through what adulthood vs childhood in general means across the nations.

TLDR - Zuko and Azula are treated as adults by Ozai and everyone around them, which strips them of the traditional protections of childhood. It's a transgressive act that entrenches Ozai's perceived absolute authority and establishes his ability to essentially punish now for what someone *might* do later.

Keep Reading

247 notes - Posted February 25, 2022

Having Zukka betrothal armband thoughts. The idea that they can hold more than one stone. The record of attempts to get it perfect, from halting chips and rough designs to increasing confidence and the idea that this progression of skill also follows a progression of love and deepening of their bond, and that it is proudly displayed and cherished. The idea that it doesn't have to stop just with a proposal. That stones could be exchanged around major life moments, and also just around major emotional moments--when you are feeling overwhelmed by love for your partner, for the shape the relationship has taken as your lives change. Armbands as a record not just of commitment but of changing and evolving love, of two hearts saying over and over they want to walk together.

517 notes - Posted July 22, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Having thoughts about how Toph found people at the Earth Rumble who treated her as an equal and respected her for her skill and listened to her. How she became the Blind Bandit there and the first people to ever take her seriously were The Gecko and Fire Nation Man and the others.

And then she joins the Gaang, people who also treat her as an equal and respect her skill and listen to her, and she starts calling them Twinkle Toes and Snoozles and Sugar Queen and Captain Boomerang.

She's giving them stage names. Because gaining her stage name was the most empowering thing that happened to her up to that point. Because stage names are earned. Because the people who were kindest to her in her life (by treating her how she wanted to be treated) were people who went by things like The Boulder.

15,237 notes - Posted October 6, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #Toph was a real winner out there huh #Also lol my tags being for conversation not organization #They're for complimenting artists and making jokes

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saleintothe90s · 2 years

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464. The Create a Card Machine

This is something I only remember seeing in stores for about a year, and that was it. It was definitely one of those we flew too close to the Sun ideas from the 90s. We were throwing our money away back then.

My WalMart in Hampton, Virginia had one of these, in the card section. I only ever remember kids, like myself and my niece and nephew playing with it, making our own cards, and stepping around the paper from cards nobody paid for.

I can't find the source on this image-any help would be great.

You already know the reason why these machines captured my attention -- there were Simpsons custom cards. My niece and nephew actually made me a Bart one for my 12th or 13th birthday. I just remembered he was at a hot dog stand and there was a joke about Weiners.

I've only found one example of a card online, on Reddit Here's an archive of the funny story behind it. Like I said, these machines were not in stores for very long in the mid 90s.

I'm looking at this photo from the article, and I now remember how flimsy these cards felt. It was very thin cardstock. It definitely felt like something you would just print at home. Also, they were nearly $4, which back then was a lot of money for a card.

Here is a photo of one at an abandoned mall. Another image where I can't find the source.

It seems like the machines were a runaway hit .... at first (1994):

``When we launched Creatacard, we had no real business plan you could follow,'' John Barker [company spokesperson] says. ``We started from scratch and planned to set up 3,000 [electronic] kiosks in retail stores. The demand was so strong, we ended up placing 9,000.'' 1

At Hills Department Stores, Canton, Mass., a one-unit test started before Christmas and has produced outstanding results, said Gary DeMarchis, general manager of the chain’s Robinson Town Centre store in the Pittsburg market. Use of the machine is so high that DeMarchis had his store associates learn how to service the machine themselves rather than use American Greetings’ field service organization. 3

Two years later:

American Greetings now expects the number of its CreataCard machines to drop from about 10,000 in 1995 to about 7,500 this year. Hallmark anticipates that the number of its Touch-Screens will decline from 2,700 to about 1,500.

[...]

“What maybe this is proving is people just don’t have the time,” said Marianne McDermott, executive vice president of the Greeting Card Assn., a trade group.

“Time is such an important factor now. With the basic, traditional card, someone has already designed a message. Probably that’s the way people want to go. But people also want choices.”

Curtis Nelson, 43, of Cleveland, spent about 30 minutes at a CreataCard machine recently at a suburban mall to make a card for his girlfriend after a spat.

“My only real complaint was it seemed to lack enough of a selection and detail in the graphics. Too much of it is too cute. It needs to me more serious and still more creative,” Nelson said.

Christian Science Monitor. ‘Greetings Made Easy: Card Company Goes On-Line’, 16 August 1994. https://www.csmonitor.com/1994/0816/16092.html.

‘Sales Rush Wasn’t in the Cards for Personalized Greetings’. Los Angeles Times, 27 June 1996. https://web.archive.org/web/20220730005443/https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-1996-06-27-fi-18966-story.html

IndexArticles. ‘CreataCard Personalizes Greetings; New Computerized Card Designing Kiosk Is Catching on at Discounters’, 1993. https://indexarticles.com/business/discount-store-news/creatacard-personalizes-greetings-new-computerized-card-designing-kiosk-is-catching-on-at-discounters/.

Blackwell, Roger D., and Kristina Stephan. Customers Rule! Why the e-Commerce Honeymoon Is over and Where Winning Businesses Go from Here. 1st ed. New York: Crown Business, 2001.

#the 1990s #1990s #greeting cards #create a card machine #createacard machine #create a card kiosk #1990s retail

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tocommercewithlove · 2 years

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To AWWA

I’ve been using AWWA since it’s I Am Eva days and I have no regrets. In fact, you should probably have no regrets with period undies (period briefs guide/must knows blog post to come) but I have around 6 pairs of these and they make a huge difference to your zero-waste period life.

I have some cotton briefs, synthetic briefs, the swimwear brief and a waterproof bag - yes, the lot. I have used them for years so feel like I can definitely review them (I always give things a good crack before reviewing them). I couldn’t rave about the cotton briefs more. I wish this was an option when I first bought these undies as they are so light, comfy, and soft. Sometimes I forget that I’m wearing period undies! The briefs (both synthetic and cotton) keep you feeling really dry if you free-flow. I personally have found the synthetic briefs wear out a bit quicker, can feel stretched, and are just not as comfortable as the cotton pairs (but still fairly comfortable). I’ve never used their heavy period brief on my heavy days, so I can’t comment on that but on my lighter days, these work a charm!

Plus it’s super cruisy to clean. I take it into the shower with me, wash it with cold water (you know at the start of the shower when you’re waiting for the water to get warm, that’s the time to wash it!) and then it goes straight into the wash.

The AWWA waterproof bag is super handy for when you’re travelling/camping and can’t get to a washing machine ASAP. The bag also doubles up as great storage for wet togs. Speaking of which, I’ve worn the swimsuit bottoms at the end of my cycle a couple of times. While I’ve never actually bled in them so can’t review if they work well or not, it was nice knowing I had that layer of protection. It’s probably not as comfy as your usual togs but it does serve a greater purpose so we can look past that.

Now the question you’re probably dying to ask - how ethical are they? Yes they prevent disposable period products from entering our landfill (which in of itself is massive) but aside from that, are they actually sustainable and ethical? In my opinion, yes! AWWA are transparent about their supply chain (as seen on each of the brief’s page) and note if the factories are certified (such as with GOTS which measures if the product is organic, and Oeko-Tex which is also a textile assessor, but I’ll be honest with you, I need to learn more about these certifications). Materials used are either recycled nylon or organic cotton, and the company is carbon positive, meaning they have offset 120% of their carbon footprint according to EKOS. That’s pretty impressive! In terms of labour, I am aware that the undies are made in Sri Lanka and that the AWWA team visit the factory often but that’s as much as I know. In saying that, AWWA are Certified B Corp which will answer a few questions you may have about that.

I do have a couple of warnings though. Firstly, these undies will stain decently from blood - it’s just a fact of life for us women and you’ll adjust to it. Secondly, if you’re a VPL (visible panty line) hater, this probably isn’t your vibe. The lines are visible through my pants and are pretty prominent BUT you can now get period thongs that solve this problem. In saying that, the quality of these undies make up for that and leave you not caring about the VPL because your monthly has just become so much easier to manage. They don’t smell, you don’t feel wet and gross, and to be honest, sometimes I forget I’m still bleeding (this is in the end days of my period when the cramps have stopped doing their thing. Trust me, I know when I’m on my period at the start!).

I do want to note that I personally think they do overshoot with how much blood they can hold. Maybe I’m heavier than the norm, but I have a moderate pair and I’d only use it on my light days. I’ve definitely leaked through this pair on my more moderate days. A friend of mine has also found it to be the same but though that may be the case, the AWWA team are really receptive to feedback. If you have questions or concerns, they are really responsive and willing to try to make something work for you. I have a peer that has struggled to find a pair of undies to accommodate their flow and AWWA have been really responsive and supportive of helping her find the right pair so all in all - a top quality team and an ace company!

Me te aroha xx

#AWWA #period undies #women #bathroom #fashion #period

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gd4abditive · 21 days

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Writing Initiative #8

You have now had a chance to present your finalized body of work (2D, 3D, 4D, Experimental, Reflective) to the class for feedback and discussion.

As we conclude the semester, please write a summary of your experience as a final blog post, including responses to the following:

What have you learned about yourself doing this self-directed assignment?

What I learned about myself, especially during the process of the masks, is I have a habit of fussing too much on minor things. During the making of the inner resin mask, I was too focused on trying to perfect it when the message of that specific mask was “embracing imperfection”. Through the process I learned to follow my own message and embrace and accept those imperfections.

What did you find to be the most difficult aspect of your chosen assignment? Creativity? Research? Connecting design to research? Craft? Organizational skills? Time management? Something else entirely?

The biggest problem I had was organizational skills and time management. I’ve always had a problem with organization, especially underestimating how much time I would need, so having this all be self-directed was easily the biggest challenge. I also had a problem procrastinating when I hit a challenge or just starting something in general. I have a habit of just thinking and worrying about doing something before actually doing it. Once I force myself to start, I usually get some momentum. I think having it required to show at least something each week really helped me keep on track.

I also struggled with research and writing in general. I’m very much a visual person so when it comes to reading, writing and research, I start to slow down during the process (such as when I procrastinate on the writing initiatives). I think one of my biggest criticisms for myself would be I could have done more research.

What did you enjoy about this opportunity?

Because of the freedom we had, I decided to take this opportunity to make things I’ve always wanted to try (Kintsugi, Japanese stab binding, resin) or apply my interests and passions (animation, coding, plush-making/sewing) into the projects. In a way I was putting a bit of myself into these projects in a way I have not been able to before. I think I have made better graphic design projects in the past but I think these were the most enjoyable to make.

The freedom of these projects allowed me opportunities to try new materials, get materials and tools I’ve been meaning to get for a while, and got to use old supplies I have had sitting around for years.

Despite my lack of organizational skills, I still really enjoyed making our own schedules for the projects. Instead of having a project done every couple weeks, I was able to give myself time for stuff that needed more weeks to finish.

Having a word prompt really helped in giving a direction for the projects. I loved having the freedom with the projects, but without some sort of prompt I might’ve been even more stumped on what to do for the projects.

How would you rate your performance over the course of the semester?

How I would rate myself is a good question. Maybe a 7-8/10? I came to every meeting each week and at least half the time would join in on other groups. I could have done more research and designed a stronger cohesive theme throughout the projects. I also had a habit of procrastinating on stuff like these writing initiatives and blog posts.

Hindsight is 20/20. What would you do differently, now that you've had this opportunity to work this way?

I think I could have done more research for the projects, maybe look up more statistics that I could have applied like visualization or physicalization infographics.

I think in general I could have had a stronger focus on ‘graphic design’ elements throughout the pieces. Graphic elements, such as typography, ended up becoming more of an afterthought when I was working on these.

Wish I gave myself more time to work on the reflective piece. It was fun to make but had I managed my time better it could have been even more interesting.

#abditive writing initiative

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guzsdaily · 6 months

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Anxiety: Over planning, over detailing, and over perfecting

Day 13 - Nov 18, 12.023

Well, I'm still unsure if I will reset the counter, seeing how it was yesterday. But whatever, today's is Day 13! And because my, luck number? brand number? Is 013, why not a post that I kinda promised in my intro post in @guz013 when I entered on Tumblr?

This is a problem that probably everyone also has, even more when you work in creative fields and/or have some sort of anxiety. And I would say that is a two-sided knife, because planning is something which you should learn, but it can get out of hand easily. Which is exactly what always happens when I try creating something new.

The introduction post

Click here if you want to know what post I'm talking about.

When I wrote that post, I was in somewhat of a burst of inspiration/motivation, in the past days I was doing nothing, and needed to do something and start to be productive again. My mind can't really remember why I had that motivation burst, I unfortunately didn't note it somewhere, but sometimes you kinda just wake up with an idea and start doing it out of nowhere. So I remembered about Tumblr, how I wasn't really liking other social medias, and that I needed to create a blog at some point, so I did it.

But then anxiety and the need to plan something started. So I started to question myself if I should separate the blogs in topics, because coding and art in just one blog would feel weird somewhat, and because Tumblr had the option of side-blogs, I created one for each topic with this idea of each one being of one topic that I like and maybe one more personal to post more randomly and just post things such gaming or whatever that is more hobby-ish than work-ish - and as you can see now, the personal one now is where I talk about everything pretty most. - Before starting to post on Tumblr, I just explored it a little, and saw that people made intro post or pinned post to give basic info about them and their blogs, so again, I planned/thought on how I should make one.

I never made an actual intro post in any social media, and something that worried me is that I was "uninvited" to be here in someway, every social media has its own culture and community in some shape or another, and the only thing I knew really was from videos of r/tumblr pretty most. So, to me, I needed to explain everything and even say why I was here in the first place, which kinda difficult writing in a more natural and relaxed way. I checked a lot more to see if my English was correct and if somehow it could pass the tone that I didn't want, if I said everything, how could I place the tags in a way that didn't feel too unnecessary or just "hey, give me attention/retention!". Just the idea of placing another social media listed there was wrong for some reason, I didn't want to it to feel like a brand or advertising in someway.

The same process repeat to the pinned posts and other intro posts for the other blogs. In the art blog, things such as "should I talk as it was myself or my fursona/persona?", "is this "Hewo!" on the pinned post too cringe?" and "should I draw something new just to the pinned and intro posts?", which made me postpone the writing of them even more, and now you can also see why my code and this blog haven't an intro and pinned posts to this day.

A recurring problem

The process that said posts had, is something which happens also in my projects/brands a lot, but with different worries. My entire dream of creating the A Capital brand was abandoned for years because I tried to always see how I could plan and protect things such as copyright and trademark usage of it, which is pretty much impossible to do at this stage. The Lored brand had the same things, and no just that, but also the identity of it changed over time because I never felt satisfied with it, and something such as creating the README.md of the organization on GitHub, and pretty much for every single project, had the same worries as the introduction posts here.

Something which is happening now, is that I'm trying to reorganize my organizations on GitHub again, because I didn't want to mix personal projects, for-developers projects, and end-user projects - why? "Because someone that want to contribute can feel lost, or I can have problems managing permissions for each repository, etc." - and now my paradigm is: My user profile: learning projects, dotfiles, etc.; Lored: developer focused projects, libraries, tools; Guz's Projects (now to be Capytal Code): End user, commercial projects, applications.

And I don't need to say why and even how much of a nightmare is managing my other social media accounts and trying to have things such as the same profile picture for each one.

No one cares

This is something which I always try to say to myself: stop it, no one cares enough or will notice the imperfections, and you can plan and do the rest after. And it is true, no one cared about my introduction post, and even if in the future any of these profiles ends up having some sort of attention, no one will really see them or care enough to see the errors or appreciate the details really. And that fucking ok, I'm not the protagonist of the world, just of my own life, but that also the problem, I'm the one who will actually care and notice, I'm my worst critic.

And in the end, I will want to make something perfect to be proud of. But most of the time, actually, all of them, I will need to compromise and understand that good enough is not a problem, and maybe I can improve it in the future.

You can't predict the future

Something which I need to improve daily and is one of the main things which I talk with my therapist about, and independent of the level of anxiety you have, and even if you don't have any, it's still hard to overcome. I always try to plan things in advance, in a way very often I won't do anything if I didn't expect to be doing it some time before, I want to be organized and decrease the amount of unpredictable things that happens, primarily the bad ones, from my life. But I can't predict the future, and I end up more living in the future instead of planning it.

This type of feeling and anxiety really increased when I started dating my girlfriend, because we are in a long distance relationship, and you need to have some sort of plan of when and/or how you will visit each other, and even more, how you will live with each other in the future. For this reason now I'm hoping to get a job within the next year, because I need to stabilize myself until this possible future come. But let's just say that trying to plan when you are anxious and insecure is not the best things, and I have to admit that a lot of times we discuss because I want to know how we will do something which we simply cannot know how it will be in this stage, we have at least two years until that future, and a lot of things can happen in this time period. Thankfully since the start of the relationship, my anxiety and insecurity improved a lot, but there are still some day which I end up vulnerable to some thoughts, unfortunately.

Writing this blog

Creating this blog, I would say that somehow helped me a lot on improving this problem of trying to perfect or plan everything. These daily journals, normally I try to write right when I'm preparing my morning coffee, and very often I don't have a theme or actual subject to talk when I sit down with my laptop. When I open my note-taking app and create a new note to write on, I try to just create a good title, and then I start writing based on that title's subject. That's it, never go back a paragraph or another to correct something (except for wrong grammar/spelling), I write a sentence after the other and that's it, without worrying if it has the best structure, storytelling, or even if it is totally within in theme of the title after some paragraphs. Each post, most of the days take around two hours to make, even more the ones with this size-length, and I don't want to spend more than it on each one, it would take a lot more hours if I was reworking entire paragraphs and trying to perfect everything.

And I really don't know why this happens just for this journal, maybe the time constraint in general, but knowing that I don't need to perfect everything, plan what topic to write each day, or delete entire paragraphs to make something good enough, really helps prove to myself that not everything needs to be so rigid and planned before. Being honest, I love how even knowing that these posts have a some sort of structure, it is simply just me writing word after word like I would say out loud to someone, it is just more natural and makes these post be actually a thing that can be pinpointed to me because of it. I still try to give attention, try to prevent from saying too much of my personal life and I worry about things like tone or if I can offend or generalize wrongly something, but I can apologize and edit after if I need to. Everyone makes mistakes and tells something not so good in a conversation sometimes, and that's ok if you recognize it.

The other side of the knife

To finish it off, I also want to remind myself that this problem is also something which can help sometimes. Planning is a good skill to have, and when your mental health kinda forces it to do so, you can at least learn something about this skill. Perfectionism can be something good, and it is natural when you love what you create, you will want to make it perfect and something to be proud of, and in can make you want to learn more and more to improve yourself and your skills.

But like everything in life, and like everyone else already knows to say but not to actually do, balance is everything.

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Today's artists & creative things

Album: Adeus, Aurora - by Supercombo - I already recommended a song of this band, but now I actually want to give a spot just for them and one of their albums. Every time I start listening to them, the songs of this album pops up, and I can recognize from where they are. This album has a beat that I would just call balanced, it has enough hard guitar, drums, beats that I like, but also big stops and buildups to not be overwhelming or "hard".

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This work is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International (CC BY-SA 4.0) License

#daily journal #overthinking

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addierose444 · 2 years

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Summer 2022 Microsoft SWE Internship

First of all, wow, this summer has just flown by. It seems like only yesterday that I was packing up my dorm room and boarding a plane to Seattle. Speaking of, you may be interested in my posts about moving to Washington state and about college essentials. The crazy thing is that in a week's time, I’ll be back at Smith starting up my senior year of college. I’ll need to reflect a bit more, but right now everything just feels surreal. While I’m excited to reunite with some friends and have some classes to look forward to, I’m frankly not ready for the new semester. Maybe I should read what I wrote in the past about preparing for a new semester! Fortunately, there are still a few more weeks before classes actually start. I’m just headed back early for two weeks of ResLife training.

I just finished up my internship last Friday, but wanted to get an initial blog post out about my experience. Overall it’s been one of my best summers to date and I have to admit that turning in my badge and leaving the office was a bit sad. If you’ve not been following along, I’ll start by getting you up to speed. For the past twelve weeks, I’ve been living in Seattle and working for Microsoft as a software engineering intern. Here’s a bit more about a typical day in my life as a Microsoft SWE intern. The other thing to know is that I was a returning Microsoft intern, as I’d done a remote Explore internship last summer and received a return offer. I’ll likely do a bit more reflecting on the experience in its entirety in a future blog post, but much of this post is derived and extended from the learning slide of my final intern presentation. And if you're wondering why everything is so vague, well my project and work done by my larger team are confidential.

As for my team, I was working on the OneNote Integrated Experiences (ONIX) team. As I’ve been a OneNote user and enthusiast for six years, it was honestly so cool meeting and working with OneNote engineers and PMs. As for why I love OneNote, it's the pairing of a flexible notes canvas with a strong hierarchical organization system. My favorite features include copy link to page and section groups. I could go on, but will instead redirect you to a post I wrote about how I use Microsoft OneNote as a student.

A high-level learning from the last two summers is simply the value of an internship. When done right, internships are just an incredible opportunity to learn skills, gain experience, and frankly just have fun. As an intern, most of your time is spent working on a dedicated intern project. These projects are obviously scoped for an intern but are designed to have a real business impact. As an intern, you work most closely with your mentor, but also get the experience of being on a real software engineering team. (I’ll touch on this a bit later). Being an intern has its perks in that everyone wants to support you and help you to have a great summer. At the same time, I’ve definitely felt like a real and valued member of the team. Colleagues have even told me that they’d forgotten I was even an intern.

In my view internships are all about learning. However, as interns, we also aim to have a real business impact and write shippable code. I got my core product ready for internal dogfood (testing), but due to an FY23 strategy pivot, my feature crew’s product won’t be shipping. As a person with a lifelong commitment to learning, I’ve been able to frame things in terms of all that I've learned. As a student, I’m frankly used to working on learning projects that are pretty much just used by me. Speaking of school projects, check out my favorites page. That's not to say that the strategy pivot was easy as I do want to have an impact beyond my own self-development and was excited about the possibility of code I've written reaching real users. The pivot was also difficult because I genuinely enjoyed the product we were building.

Starting off with technical skills, I learned TypeScript, React, and Redux. For those unfamiliar, TypeScript is a strongly typed programming language maintained by Microsoft that builds on JavaScript. I first heard of TypeScript last fall when researching Angular for my software engineering class (CSC 223), but this summer was my first real exposure to it. I had some experience with JavaScript, so that definitely helped. For the most part, I just learned TypeScript from reading code in our shared codebase. As for React, it’s “a JavaScript library for building user interfaces” and is maintained by Meta. While I’m not a fan of Meta as a company (or of their products for that matter), I do think React is actually useful. Redux is another open-source JavaScript library and it’s used “for managing and centralizing application state.” To learn the basics of these JavaScript libraries, I started out with the React tutorials and Redux tutorials recommended to me by my manager. Working through these tutorials was definitely helpful, but most of the learning came from actually working on my project. If you’re newer to programming, you may be interested in these computer programming learning resources I compiled. Post internship I’m also much more comfortable working with APIs and have learned important techniques for debugging and troubleshooting web applications. Speaking of APIs, I made extensive use of the Microsoft Graph API for my project.

In addition to new technologies, working in an existing codebase with a real software engineering team was a totally new experience for me. I'd collaborated on code in software engineering classes but had pretty much only built things from scratch. In other words, the codebases were relatively small and could be fully understood. The nature of my project clearly demonstrated the value of leveraging existing code to enable new user experiences and that not everything needs to be built from the ground up. One of the hardest aspects of working in an active pre-production codebase with lots of dependencies was navigating the unexpected issues. As an intern, it was easy for me to assume I'd written bad code that either broke existing functionality or simply didn't work. I'm happy to report that I didn't cause issues or incidents and instead uncovered several bugs. The learnings here came from my investigations into the various issues and from engaging the relevant teams.

As for the fun factor, in addition to interesting work, there are a number of fun activities planned for interns. Additionally, as an intern more informal events are organized by fellow interns. As for relevant posts, check out my summer 2022 photos and this post about various morale events. Outside of work, I also spent the summer bouldering which I was able to directly fund with a Microsoft intern benefit called Perks+. Unrelated to work, I also learned a lot from having to cook for myself. Specifically, I learned the importance of meal planning and came up with some simple meals that I enjoy.

#college #Smith College #summer 2022 #internship #software engineering #microsoft #SWE internship #seattle

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blindbeta · 3 years

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I just saw someone asked about making a character blind in their novel and you responded about ways to avoid it being portrayed poorly. I wanted to ask, could it also help if part of the arc is the character accepting becoming blind?

Like, even if it happens in some kind of accident, or like them becoming blinded as a sacrifice for the team, would it be a bad portrayal for part of the character's story to be realizing it's not the end of the world, that being disabled doesn't make them completely useless, etc?

Or is that sort of arc also ableist?

[Note: I used the words non-disabled and abled interchangeably here. Both refer to people with no disabilities. After a conversation with some of my followers, I decided to make an effort to be clearer about who I referred to when I used words like able-bodied, because able-bodied may, for some people, refer to people without physical disabilities or without any disabilities at all. There are times when the distinction matters, even when people said they can usually tell based on context whether or not able-bodied is meant to include them.]

Writing About A Character Accepting Being Blind After Going Blind - When You Aren’t Blind Yourself

An arc about a character accepting becoming blind doesn’t feel good to me and I’ll try to explain why.

I’d rather read a story about a character who happens to be blind, in whatever way that happened, than read a story where a writer who isn’t blind tries to write about a blind character accepting being blind. I just finished a similar book and it did not go well. There are some things that research cannot teach you. There are some stories that aren’t yours to tell.

I don’t want to read about a non-blind author, especially a non-disabled author, writing negative things about my disability.

A character starting out feeling overly negative toward their blindness already feels bad to me. Why? Because the author has to write negative, sometimes completely wrong things about being blind. When I read stories like this, I am bombarded with stereotypes or myths which are rarely corrected by the narrator, who is usually traumatized and somewhat isolated as they heal. Many of the things they think or say are not checked or revisited. Mean things other characters say or think about them are often internalized by the narrator. Things that, in real life, are said to blind and otherwise disabled people as truths. As tough-love. As part of the supposed -Real World-. As bullying. As ignorant, innocent questions. As rude comments.

All of these things are not even coming from a personal place. The author writing these things- while they probably don’t agree with them, of course- is still not blind at the end of the day.

Readers who aren’t blind may not understand the nuance of why some of the things they read were ableist if it isn’t called out in the narrative in some way, which can sometimes happen when the narrator says something negative about their new disability. This isn’t to say readers shouldn’t do their own research or examine the story more closely. This isn’t to say the author is at fault for the interpretations of readers who refuse to think beyond what is laid out for them. When I say this, I am being realistic. Not all readers are going to be proactive. Not all readers are going to approach a book about a person going blind from a good place.

Most of the time, this is just something the author needs to accept. It is impossible to anticipate the strange interpretations of every reader. However, this narrative can be dangerous to a reader who has never met a blind person. Keep in mind, most people aren’t doing what you all are doing. They just read what is given to them. And if what is given to them is a helpless or self-loathing blind person, they might believe in that image. That book may be the only expirience they have with a blind person and they may not read any other books with blind characters.

Another thing I thought of was that non-blind authors sometimes don’t understand how hobbies and skills translate to blind people. For example, in a story I read once, a character who was going blind practiced playing piano and typing on a keyboard blindfolded so they could learn how to do without sight. However, blind people can already play instruments even if they were born blind. Blind people can also easily type on regular keyboards and, technically, correct keyboard technique means typing without needing to look at the keyboard.

Authors who don’t understand what it is like to go blind often don’t get the nuances of what that person is losing and not losing. And it often shows. They also don’t often include the aspects of blindness that are actually challenging. Why focus your worry on typing on a keyboard when you can learn how to use assistive devices in the kitchen or learn to cope with anxiety you anticipate will get worse after losing vision? Why not try to find accessible copies of books you have or scan or Braille sentimental letters? Why not organize your closet so you can find things more easily?

Obviously this is related to characters who know they’re going blind, though.

It favors non-disabled readers, which is ableist.

Another reason this type of story bothers me is because it is so common. Or at least people expect it. This type of story is one abled / non-disabled people can swallow and feel inspired by. Showing the blind person accepting their blindness also favors non-disabled readers in ways I may not be able to articulate well.

Accepting disability is an arc non-disabled people are comfortable with. It is a feel-good type of story that usually doesn’t challenge people too much, other than to remind them not to bully people. Already, this story is not even for disabled people, or in this case, blind people. It exists to introduce people who aren’t blind to the idea of becoming blind, to blind technology, to inspirational ideas about how blind people actually can do things. Stories like this guide abled people along and prioritize their ideas about blindness. Because the narrator is almost always previously abled, the story is about adjusting to blindness in a way that caters to non-disabled people.

How does a story with this angle benefit blind readers? Even if a blind person has also recently gone blind and wants to see a character who on that journey with them, what can a writer who isn’t blind say that blind writer couldn’t say? Or say better? Or say with more power? With more nuancel? With more personal experience?

And it may seem like saying this arc is ableist is too much. Keep in mind, ableism isn’t just about being rude to or excluding disabled people. Ableism favors those who are able-bodied or neurotypical over those who are not. It favors those who are not disabled over those who are. This story is just another way of doing that. Often, people are ableist through what they consider kindnes. Authors are not exempt from that.

Disabled authors should tell their own stories

This is where I will get some pushback. (I already received some here if you think it will be helpful to know what this is like.)

There are a few parts to this.

First, I want everyone to know I am not telling you what not to write or that this type of story, at least with elements of this narrative, can never be done well. However, the more care you take when writing it and the more you know about why it can be ableist, the better you will be able to write it. I’m still not sure I would want to read a book that is dedicated to this topic of accepting blindness, but who knows?

I also might feel more open to this narrative from a writer who experienced becoming disabled in some other way and was open about it. While they would still need to research blindness, some of the issues I named here could be avoided through having prior personal experience that non-disabled people simply don’t have.

If, however, you find yourself upset or feeling excluded by this post, consider what I wrote again. Consider why you think you are the best person to tell such a story with this particular arc.

I am also not saying that non-disabled writers could never write this topic well. I just question, again, what they can add to the topic of accepting blindness that blind people can’t already add. This is also assuming they were able to avoid some of the issues I listed above that might come up. Which would be difficult on top of doing all the other research they need to do in order to write a book. Why make it harder for themselves?

Now that I’m done with the disclaimers, accepting blindness should be something mostly left up to blind writers. This narrative is so closely tied to the trauma-based / incident-based blindness that it can be hard to separate them, but I feel like the readers of the blog have thought hard to suggest ways to improve or subvert that trope and the problems that go with it. Maybe they can do the same here. Maybe not.

Anyway, the reason I think it should be left to blind writers is because of the personal experience I mentioned previously. Acceptance will come from a more authentic place. Anything that comes before the acceptance will also come from an authentic place and blind writers will know how to deal these issues a little better.

Blind writers will know how to write this topic well. They can center blind readers in a way that many arcs like this don’t.

As a side note, blind writers also need more recognition and attention. This arc is specifically about or mostly about accepting blindness, which blind writers are intimately familiar with. Their stories should be prioritized in this area, at the very least.

If a non-disabled writer decided to do this topic, I think it would help to read and public ally promote books and other works by blind people.

Thank you for asking this question.

This was a really great question and I want to thank the anon for asking. I really appreciate the chance to discuss this topic. If anyone wants to expand on this question or figure out ways to subvert this arc, feel free to ask. Also, remember that I am not authority on stories about blind people, but I feel this opinion in shared by many of us and it should be known so writers can be aware.

Suggestions for alternatives.

1. Include only brief instances of acceptance and / or make it only related to blindness instead of accepting blindness as a character arc.

It will depend on how you do it, but brief, less direct instances of acceptance could be done well. One thing I’m thinking of is Toph challenging her father in The Blind Bandit. This could be seen as a form of self-acceptance for Toph, one which is related to her blindness without being the entirety of her need to accept part of herself, which gives her the courage to disrupt the view her parents have of her. Toph doesn’t struggle with being blind. She struggles with something related to being blind, which her parents being over-protective, limiting her freedom and expression, and putting her a gender role box.

The rest of Toph’s story wasn’t completely about being blind either. The writers, who weren’t blind as far as I can gather, handled this part well, and so I wanted to include it as an example.

Obviously, this can also be done badly, but that’s what beta readers are for. I personally would prefer the acceptance arc only be tangentially related to blindness, especially when combined with the trope about going blind through trauma / incidents / accidents.

2. Start in a different place.

You could start the story or character arc in a different place, rather than starting directly after going blind. This could be years later. After they already adjusted to the bigger parts of being blind. This saves you the need to figure out how to get around it.

Some parts of this ask might help.

3. Focus mostly on the practical stuff rather than the emotional side.

Focus on things like cane skills, adjusting to using screen-readers or needing to increase font sizes to read. Focus on learning to cook. Make the arc less about emotional stuff and more achieving goals. While I can understand how this might bother some blind people, I think it can work if blind readers are consulted, especially readers who went blind later in life. I wanted to include this as an option just in case people are determined to include going blind in the story. I think, if the author is careful, it could go well. A few narrative justifications for not writing the typical acceptance arc include:

-the character was already blind in some way first

-the character has a blind sibling, parent, or friend they grew up with

-the character got counseling or the story mentions they are getting counseling

Alternatively, you could also focus emotional difficulties on the traumatic incident, if there is one, and not the resulting blindness.

4. Write different stories - expand what stories about blind characters look like.

Writers have so many opportunities! I don’t see why they would feel the need to write a story primarily about going blind and learning you aren’t useless now after all, when they could be writing about a blind mermaid challenging the Mer Queen and falling in love with her instead. When they could be writing about blind space pirates creating new technology for other blind people. When they could be writing about a blind witch reclaiming their sexuality and also learning to dance to make their coven less worried about their social life after going blind.

See this post for more ideas about expanding the typical stories.

If you are creative enough, none of my claims that certain topics being best left to blind writers should stop you. If you feel limited, you might be trapped in the idea that blind people only have one narrative: trauma, sadness, helplessness, and just maybe, acceptance. If you don’t feel limited, you are in a good place.

Blind readers want other types of stories, too.

I hope this helps some of my followers. Thanks for the interesting question, anon. If anyone has any questions or would like me to clarify something, feel free to ask. I wrote this at night when I was tired. I have missed some things.

-BlindBeta

P.S. The ideas I pitched at the end are free to use if you feel inspired by any of them.

#writing blind characters #blind characters #blind people #ask #anon #acceptance narrative #trauma narrative

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lovely-necromancy · 3 years

Text

A Cure for Insomnia CH.2

Getting back to your little one story cottage, you can only manage to rush in and run about in a mad dash as you try to accomplish getting ready for work and getting something to eat. Running through choices in your head as you change and freshen up, nothing sounds good. There's not much time since your shift starts at nine and to make it to the store you need to leave by eight twenty. You got home at eight fifteen, and while Nate, your manager, has never seemed to give a fuck what you did at work you're still in your probationary period and would like to keep the easiest job you've ever had.

It's a really simple gig, seeing as the store you work at is actually a front for some illegal activity. The variety of crime you aren't sure of, but you are aware there's no way you guys do no business and yet they can afford to pay thirty dollars an hour. Thankfully just keeping your mouth shut and being nice to little Jo, the owner's daughter, is enough to keep you in the cushiest job in the world. The store's front is a regular old book store, all the books are real, the registers work, you're able to sell books and you've run to the bank to do the weekly deposits twice for Book & Nook. The front is very legitimate or it would be if the amount of customers ever equaled the sales made.

Again you don't ask questions, because for thirty dollars an hour you get to goof off for a couple hours a day, plus you get a bonus when you watch little Jo at the shop. She's a real sweet eleven year old, she's got tourettes and took a shine to you the first time she saw you tic. While you both might not suffer the same disorder she finds the common ground nice, like it's not just her. It's not even hard to watch her or enjoy her company, she'll come bouncing in with her excited chittering and hands clapping spilling all the latest gossip that comes with being in middle school. And boy is there a lot of gossip.

It's really nice seeing that Jo has friends at school and is even considered a “popular” kid. You remember how tough school was because no one understood you and teachers never cared enough about your personality to bring up the fact that it was clear to most faculty members that you had Autism. You excelled academically so what did it matter if you got picked on for oversharing information or for finishing assignments the minute they were handed to you. As bittersweet as the parallels are you're so glad Jo doesn't have to go through that. Never would have thought a southern school could be so accepting, much less a middle school at that.

Tearing through the kitchen you honestly can't find anything that you want to eat right now. And even after a long night of hiking/dissociating you don't think you're that peckish at all. Figuring it's best to at least take something to quell any future nausea you grab a Pedialyte Pop from the freezer. As fast as you entered your home you left, and not before ensuring twice that the door was locked and secured. While living on the outskirts of town saves you from many potential robberies, and worse salesmen, there's still the chance of some lunatic with an ax hiding out in a closet to murder you. Better safe now than sorry later.

Pulling into park behind the shop right at nine is a blessing. You run into the shop to clock in blurting out a quick 'Morning' to Nate, who was carrying a particularly large box, as you passed by him. In a flash you were back at your car retrieving your newly prized deer skull. Lungs burning a bit from the all out sprint you just did you took a little extra time to close the trunk and lock your car up to catch your breath, and avoid any light headiness you might get from the empty stomach workout. Eager to share the wonders of death with your best work friends, and by that you mean Nate your manager...and only other coworker, you rush back into the building.

The shop was quiet as usual as you made your way through the door though you were in the back room where only employees could roam you had the slightest suspicion that the front of shop was just the same. It's there you find Nate, now lugging a medium sized box around to a side table. He did this a lot you suspect some type of smuggling but hey plausible deniability and all those legal matters. The taller dark haired man sees you and just as he's about to wave you over, notices your prize with a raised brow.

“The fuck d'you bring in the store?” he doesn't seem amused by whatever it is he thinks you're up to. “Deer skull.” Lifting it up in one hand and pointing at it, “Found this guy on my hike last night...or rather this morning actually.”

“YN, we talked about this, you said you'd get some sleep last night. No adventures remember.” he's only two years older than you and yet he acts as if he's ten years. He must be an old soul, or enjoys the role of care giver...or you're making him go gray prematurely, anything's possible.

“Eh, I remember saying I'd 'try' and get sleep.” for someone who's body is running on fumes your cheekiness is astronomical, “operative word being 'try', remember.”

It's a long silence as Nate decides if he wants to deal with your bullshit at this moment. After a minute or so he concedes leaning back on the table behind him. “Let's hear it.” and you perk up immediately.

“Cool, so I was walking along the tree line and spotted him, tried to find more but seems there's only one piece. Judging by the size of his antlers I'd say he was nearly fully grown. Now my plan is to do whatever treatments taxidermists do to bones and,” you continue to word vomit at the tired twenty-six year old in front of you, about the joys and wonders of taxidermy and the likely hood of ever finding a skull so nicely preserved.

“I can do that in here right?” even though it's been phrased as a question, you aren't asking permission, you're just being polite and letting Nate know the storage room will house your creepy deer skull antics for today...maybe the week you need to find a taxidermist book to figure out what you need to do.

Nate gives up and leaves with his box of new books to let you have full run of the back to do your weird vulture culture shit. He figures he's just too old to understand the new obsessions with the macabre. He hopes his cousin won't take to shit like this, the kid's weird enough as it is, no need to put another target on her back. Nate sets off to take down the Harry Potter sets in favor of this new comic series little Jo wanted.

Already taking his silence as the go ahead you place your found skull on the table and rush off into the store front to find a book on taxidermy and hopefully more specifically about bones. The set up and organization of the store reminds you a lot of the scene in Brendan Fraser's The Mummy 1997 where Evie is on the ladder and somehow causes all the book shelves to fall like dominoes. So unsafe, yet all book stores and libraries seem to have this set up. With the tall shelves it makes it difficult to accurately get a read on the spines. You don't even know what section taxidermy actually falls under, education maybe?

“Nate, where do you think a book on taxidermy would be?” you called out as you passed by him.

“...hobby?” that didn't sound right but you'd give it a shot anyway.

This should be fun, the hobby section was so disorganized and it took up nearly half the store too, Book & Nook had everything from fishing, to crochet, cooking, the art of film making, hell even had a cryptid hunting book a book that you may have to look into a bit later. You closed your eyes and let your intuition guide you, when you looked up you saw a thin black...vine, no whisp? It undulates in less than rhythmic movements nearly like a snake but it has no head, and not unlike a tentacle but without suckers. It's another hallucination so you were keen to ignore it until it stretched past your head, giving you an added auditory hallucination where you swore you could hear wind rushing past your ears, it swirled around you until it flew to the shelf and tapped on a book. Cautiously you walked over to it, it's never good to play into these delusions. Once you got close enough the black shape was gone but on the shelf was a creme colored paper back titled “Manual of Taxidermy: Complete Guide of Preserving Birds and Mammals.”

Walking to Nate with the book in your hands you asked him to read it and make sure you weren't having an episode and making everything up right now. You'd have to try harder to go to sleep tonight if that were the case.

“Oh you found your book huh?” he said looking down at the title.

Well this is getting weird fast, but you nod nonetheless. Might as well thank the weird hallucination gift right. Leaving him to do whatever it is he plans on doing the rest of the day, you go to the back. And just as the book instructs you set to cleaning the skull by setting it in some water and changing it as many times as the water runs murky. The book is quiet helpful to a beginner like yourself but it does seem a bit outdated from the bits of information you know from taxidermists blogs and vulture culture posts on the internet. Reading it in between water changes is a great way to pass the time though, not like you guys get any real customers anyways.

The bell rings as the front door opens and closes alerting you to someone's arrival on your third water change. Needing a little bit of mental stimulation you walk out into the front where Big Jo and Little Jo are talking to Nate. Little Jo sees you and skitters away from her father to rush you, she stops about a foot away and holds her arms wide open. She's a hugger but upon meeting you had never even thought people could be touch adverse so keeping in mind that you might not want to be touched she's learned to invite you into hugs and it's your choice to allow it or not. Placing a hand on your bicep you give a squeeze, checking your tolerance you find the thought bearable. Placing your arms outstretched at your sides Jo rushes your torso for her hug.

After she nearly body slammed you into the wall, and let her death grip go she was off on a tangent about so many things. Her excited rapid blinking tic, one she developed after meeting you, triggering your own.

“Ok so you remember how last week I told you that Jessie Kinsleton said that Micheal Saleisa told Gigi B, not Gigi S. that Meghan,” you had no clue the lives of eleven year olds had gotten so complex, from the gossip you heard from Jo it seemed that the school's sixth graders were plotting for a war with an ice cream parlor up the street. No clue why, maybe just to fuck the system, kids are weird, preteens are weirder...and angry.

But you nod to Jo listening to her every word, and trying to calm your eyelids so you could actually open your eyes. After being told the sequence of events that would happen in the Tween Armageddon, something to do with Marco Salvator ordering three dozen donuts and a flock of geese, your eyes finally gained their ability to see back. Black whisps, much like the one from earlier, wandered all around your vision, it looked like a dark smoke had settled eye level within the shop and was snaking through the isles.

Catching the movement of your eyes Jo looked around the shop too. Seeing nothing she turned back to you concerned, “Hey it's okay, nothin's there.”

Hearing the drop in volume of the normally chatty tween, Big Jo and Nate pause their conversation to turn their attention to you and follow you're gaze.

“Kid, you ain't sleepin' again?” Big Jo can already gauge by the bags under your eyes but he's a polite man so he feels the need to ask rather than state his assumptions.

“Day 6.” You answer simply, ever since you've started at Book & Nook the whole Cowell family became acutely aware of many of your disorders. By their record your longest time spent awake was ten days, you however adamantly say that you were an hour's mark away from ten full days so the longest you've been up is nine days in a row. And those are just the cases they know of since you've moved to Kepler.

Big Jo shook his head as a stern father would, which he is, “I have half the mind to send you home to rest.”

“That won't work.” you really don't mean to sound so coarse but it's so irritating having to go over this at least once a week.

“What about those gummy things Dia got you?”

“Long term that kind of stuff has no effect, sure it'll make me drowsie for an hour or two but even if it made me sleep one night I can't use it all the time. And before you ask the same questions again, caffeine has no real effect on me so limiting my intake will do nothing and weed doesn't do a thing for me either.” you state plainly, monotone as you present facts that everyone in the room already knows.

Looking at the stern face of Big Jo's and the exasperated face of Nate you continue, “I know it must be frustrating for you to not be able to help, but I'm content living like this. I like my late night adventures and when I do sleep it's really pleasant.”you threw in a smile for added comfort.

“Kid tha's not the point, there's somethin' wrong with you, medically I mean.” he's pinching the bridge of his nose, probably counting to ten to calm himself from raising his voice.

“Tons of people suffer from insomnia and there isn't anything a doctor could do for me except look for underlying conditions.” Big Jo's about to retort when you continue with, “Plus my dad and uncle both have insomnia as well so my case is due to the genetic lottery I lost.” You say with a hint of finality of your situation, you had to come to terms with this condition all the way back in high school. Having a decade to get used to your strange condition and the limitations it places on you from time to time. Whereas the Cowell family's only had two months to process this information, and you understand it'll take awhile before they stop being concerned. Same thing happened with you parents and friends back then too.

For now you're only met with more head shakes as if they were saying 'what are we going to do with you'. Leaving your medical issues aside Nate and Big Jo continue to talk shop, when the set up Nate just put on display catches Jo's eye.

Like lightening the tween was away from your side and by the new display shelf it looked like it held graphic novels. That's a first since you've been here, you walk over to join Jo knowing the second you do she'll start on about what's got her so excited. Most people might say you over indulge the child and coddle her but you actually just think it's really important to take interest in what makes kids happy. It helps them find their voices and also shows them that it's normal to get excited and like things.

“We got the TAZ graphic novels in?!” you hate rhetorical questions but smile and nod at her anyway.

“Have you read them? No, well you've listen to the podcast...what omg! Ok so there's these three brothers and their,” Jo begins regaling you with tales from the podcast known as The Adventure Zone and how fun they've made dungeons and dragons seem with their amazing story telling and funny characters.

You aren't sure if a show where the main group of heroes being called Tres Horny Bois is exactly age appropriate but when you look to Big Jo he kind of just shrugs it off. Turning you attention back to Jo who's now monologing about mongooses you just smile at the weird family you've found yourself in.

Let it be said that a tween with a slightly unhealthy fixation on something can find anyway to drag it back to that fixation. The day flew by with Jo explain the inner workings of dungeons and dragons, fifth edition, to you, her father, and her cousin after you mentioned why she didn't play. Apparently she'd love to but wanted a story fitting for her friend's to adventure. So being the good older cousin, father, and weird family friend you all were you came up with a story plot for her to use with her campaign.

The Jos had a lot of fun bonding over this little workshop and you guys even had food delivered so you and Nate could stay later. What was meant to just be a quick workshop turned into a mini family game night after you made several nearly impossible puzzles that wouldn't be used in Jo's campaign due to no one at the current table understanding how to solve it even after you showed them several times.

Overall it was fun and you think you might actually be tired enough to go to sleep tonight. You tried to stay and help clean up but Big Jo put his foot down and told you to go get some rest, he'd seen the way you occasionally look around the room as if something was moving behind them all. You may have started off as a cashier two months ago for him but his daughter has opened up a lot since meeting you and discovering that tics aren't so uncommon and there are people who wouldn't care or make a big deal out of them. Because of that you've earned your keep in his family, he already has you down on the list for Christmas cards.

Knowing you can't fight the six foot four man you roll your eyes and bid everyone good night, little Jo coming in to steal another hug from you and thank you for helping with her game. Checking on your skull you see the water's clear and dump it in the sink of the break room before leaving the skull to dry overnight, it's for sure gonna make Nate scream tomorrow, you can't help but chuckle at that.

Leaving through the back door and into the dusk colored parking lot you notice your trunk is popped open slightly. You definitely heard it shut earlier this morning. You blink before your head jerks to the right, unsettled by possibility of a break in and not risking it you head back inside.

“Hey, I think my car may have been broken into.” you stand awkwardly in the door way unsure of how to proceed.

Big Jo and Nate are out of the door as fast as they can. They find your car unlocked with the trunk popped, you know they weren't trying to brush you off when they asked several times if you did in fact lock your car this morning. After hearing your affirmative response each time, they began to inspect your car checking to make sure all wires are properly secured under the hood, Nate even retrieved the jack out of his own car to take a look under the car, ensuring the brakes hadn't been messed with. They started the car up just fine and it didn't appear tampered with. Even though nothing looked out of place and Nate's car, sitting in the same parking lot, hadn't been touched you appreciated them checking to make sure you were alright.

Knowing you're perceived as a woman by most, even outside of this small town, makes you uneasy when it comes to terms of abductions and violence. You know the chances and hear the stories whether it's from the victim's mouth or a podcaster's telling the story the dead can't. Nate offered to follow you home and make sure you were ok but you declined and said you'd call them both when you got home. Big Jo said to just call his home phone because Nate would be coming over tonight anyway, and if they didn't make it there before you called Dia was already at home and would pass the message along. You'll probably still try and give the shop a call if Dia answers, it wouldn't sit right with you if you wound everyone up just to not and at least try to settle their nerves.

With one final check of you car, the men even going so far as to lift seats up and feel under them, they sent you off. You drove carefully on the road tonight, ready to pull off into the shoulder at the slightest hint that something was wrong. Not even the radio was on something that you really didn't like driving without, but if there was the chance for you to catch a shift in tone of the machine you wanted to. Eventually you did end up making it home in one piece and you had called the Cowell family home, from the safety of your car, and got a spazztic eleven year old asking if you'd made it home alright. It took a little bit of coaxing but Little Jo calmed down and shouted to her parents that you were on the phone and alright.

“Kid,” looks like Big Jo took the phone away from Little Jo, “Everything ok on the drive.” Big Jo could hear the movement and shutting of your car door, he'd have to say he was relieved you waited until you were on the phone before exiting. He knew you lived out past the quiet zone in Old Lydia's house. A fact that did little for the unease he felt when he thought you were being watched.

“Oh, yea drive was fine, too quiet but fine.” you said simply as you began circling the cottage. Nothing seemed out of place on the outside, even looking above eye level where people tended to get sloppy in stalking or home invasion cases, everything seemed fine.

“Hope you don't mind if I keep you for a bit.” You had just unlocked your door and stepped in.

“Nah, kid 's fine.” you give a hum of acknowledgment as you look through the kitchen in cabinets, under cupboards, and even under the table.

“You're a smart kid.” he's taken that fatherly overtone that makes you roll your eyes. You understand the sentiment of parents and parental figures having pride in their child or ward but it's always been so weird to you when they feel the need to bring it up. Especially when they bring it up in situations that are dangerous, like can you not make it sound like someone's about to die.

Finding nothing in the living room, hall closet or bathroom you make sure all the windows are locked and dowels are in place to keep them from opening. And you double check that both the back and front doors are secured. You can hear the hushed whispers on the other end of the line, Dia must have just found out about your car, as you rustle through your kitchen utensil drawers taking out two forks before you make your way to your bedroom.

Once in your room you checked your closet and under your bed. Finding nothing you went to the window in your room, the one right by your bed, you checked the lock, secured it in place with two dowels, and then covered it throwing a thick blanket over the curtain rod to ensure no one would be viewing you in your sleep or the precautions you were about to do. Turing around and locking your bedroom door you then jam one fork into the closed door crease, right below the locking mechanism, and jammed the other fork perpendicular through the prongs. You attempted to open the door with all your weight but only could get an inch in before the forks would stop more movement.

“Kid you alright over there?” it's rushed, he probably heard the commotion with your make shift lock.

“Yea, just had to add another lock to the door.” you trust the Cowell's but you understand how stupid it'd be to let them know exactly how you were defending yourself. Even if it wasn't them there's no telling if the person who broke into your car was outside and just good at hiding. You could also be too jumpy from your true crime shows but you figure it's better to be safe.

“I think everything's good Big Jo.” taking a final glance around your room eye's landing on the bed, “Think I'm even ready to go to sleep tonight too.” a small half laugh leaves your mouth.

“Alright kid, you call if you need anything got it.” it's an order not a request.

“Got it, good night.” Big Jo might think that'd been rude coming from anyone else but from you he can only roll his eyes at the brevity and the dial tone he's met with. He has his own sweep to do, if they were targeting his employee there was a reason. He hasn't had any problems since coming to Kepler but someone always eventually comes along who can't take a hint.

Even combing through your home with Big Jo on the line you didn't feel safe having your bed by the window anymore and moved it away and in front of the closet door. You'd rearrange your room later but for tonight this would have to do. By some grace of god you were actually able to shut your brain down tonight and rest. Maybe it was the excitement and merriment from hanging out with the Cowells or more likely the situation you find yourself in of perhaps being a target for something insidious.

Whatever the case may be you are off to the land of dreams before you know it. And unbeknownst to you the same eyes from this morning watch your home. They may not have seen what you did in there but they'd be sure to catch you when you come out. They'll wait all night to catch you if they have to.

#creepypasta fanfic #proxies x reader #proxies #masky x reader #masky x hoodie #hoodie x reader #ticci tobyx reader #timothy wright x reader #brian thomas x reader #masky #hoodie #ticci toby #ticcitoby #timothy wright #brian thomas #reader insert #reader #readerinsert

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tortilla-of-courage · 3 years

Note

Describing it as being like home is actually pretty accurate yeah.

And YES! I am totally willing to talk about my modern AU.

I've been calling it the Adoption AU because Time ends up adopting all of the boys. It mostly started as, I saw an edit for a tweet someone did with Wars and Wild that involved Taco Bell (cannot remember the blog or post for the life of me though), and so I wrote a thing about Warriors sneaking out of his university dorm to pick up Wild, who snuck out the window despite his broken arm, and then got extorted by Legend in exchange for silence at 3am.

This was followed by a fic where Groose decided spray painting a public building was a good idea and got himself and Sky arrested, set earlier in the timeline.

So then I made a timeline. Twilight is Time and Malon's biological son, and he found Wild on the side of the road one day (Wild's backstory involves a bad car wreck and an underground hospital, but no conspiracy bullshit. Yet). Wild has no memory, so they keep him. Wild brings home Legend, who was told his uncle died at school before a holiday. They then also keep Legend. Malon finds Four in her barn one morning for complicated reasons, and they keep him too. Twilight finds Warriors, who is in his class, hiding in an alley one day after he ran away from an abusive home and brings him home too. SS Impa (who I've nicknamed Shield because there are enough prominent Impas here that they should get nicknames too) is a social worker who's trying to find Sky a home and has run out of options, and turns to Time, who has a record of successfully housing 'unhousable' youths, and asks if he can take one more. He can. Wild finds Hyrule and brings him home because 'Rule needs a shower even more than Wild does. Hyrule stays. Wind's grandma ends up with Wind and his sister but can't financially take care of both and so Wind ends up with the boys and everyone is +1 Grandma.

Twilight has a fic detailing how he knows Midna and Dusk and I ended up shooting him (oops) but at least their social project gets handed in on time.

Then I started hashing out Time's backstory and suddenly this AU had plot. And organized crime. And a conspiracy. And secret societies.

The summarized version is that the gems from OoT are like, Idk what they do yet. Haven't gotten to a point where I need to figure that out yet. But they are Important and have to be carefully guarded. The Great Deku Tree (just called Deku because he's not a tree here) was Time's foster father before Ganondorf killed him. Also, Ganondorf is Deku's half brother. Because. However Time 'stole' the Emerald and he and Navi ran until OoT Impa (Sage) and Lullaby found them. So Time got adopted into Lullaby's family. Ruto inherited the Sapphire from her mother who also died from mysterious circumstances, and Darunia has the Ruby. Lullaby got the Ocarina from her late paternal grandmother.

Then Ganon finds them and tries to steal the Emerald from Time, so Lullaby goes looking for help and thus finds the sages. Saria is an anonymous hacker who uses the screen name 'Kokiri'. Time reveals he didn't steal the Emerald, he was Deku's heir, and then Navi goes missing. Time is home worried enough that he's physically sick, and Ganon decides to try and attack the home. Only Lullaby's family is Olde Money, and they live in a big, old manor, so Lullaby as Sheik decides to play 'Home Alone' with the secret passages in the walls and they piss off Ganon because when did that brat get a sheikah bodyguard??? Sage and Rottla (Lullaby's mother, who is fully sheikah as well) rush home from a thing and Kokiri is running a play by play watching the security cameras.

I pull in my headcanon that Time was killed in the Downfall Timeline by getting impaled on Ganon's tusk and Ganondorf stabs him with the tusk of a mounted boar head and then Sheik shows up to protect his brother, and then Mama gets home and is not happy to find this man in her home attacking her kids. Time is fine, but Navi stays missing. (She's alive tho.)

Also, Time's foster dad was the last leader of a secret society known as The Order of The Lost Woods, and Time learns this upon meeting Tatl, who gets him sucked into another event that would probably make a good action movie. I have thought too much about the Order and it's hierarchy, but what's important here is that Time ends up with a standing job offer and Tatl and he remain friends and we find out how I fit FD into this AU. It's not pretty. This is where Time loses his eye too.

The AoC came out and I added that Link in as Wild's twin brother and he shows up during the main plot.

Which starts with Twi getting kidnapped. (I'm not really meaner to him than the others, I swear, he's just the most logical choice to be Time's heir. Which he is. He doesn't know this though.)

So he's kidnapped by Ganondorf, who broke out of jail, Zant, who shot Twi in highschool, and Ghirahim, who has some history with Sky I haven't fleshed out yet and a very public rivalry with Warriors over twitter. About six weeks later Sage finds him in an abandoned warehouse (because of course) with a shackle on his left arm and a lot of new injuries. He ends up fine, but he tells Time later in the hospital what happened and he's both message and messenger and Time is this close to just committing murder. Tatl talks him down.

Somewhere here is the half finished fic where I introduce AoC Link as Luke/Knight, and this is as far as I've plotted thus far.

Other tidbits: Wild and Lullaby/Sheik are both genderfluid, Lullaby/Sheik married Ruto, Wild has a very popular YouTube channel, Twi does drag racing sometimes, Sky has a pet bird, Four has DID to explain how the Colours are here too, and Wolfie exists in the form of a random wolf-dog Wild found and brought home that Legend somehow convinced half the family was Twilight. Also, Warriors has somehow befriended an entire sorority and he doesn't know how this happened.

This... got long. As you can see I have a lot of thoughts about the Adoption AU. It's gotten a bit away from me, I'll admit. This went from 'Wild does stunts on his motorbike and keeps breaking bones but somehow not the bike' to 'Twilight got kidnapped and Time is the target of a mafia that Ganon runs and also maybe killed a man once' and I don't know how that happened. Also, this is the condensed version of the summary. My actual summary/outline is much, much longer than this. So if there's any detail you want more on, feel free to say so and I'll happily go into more detail (there are so many things I didn't even mention....)

And yes, Robbie having a bong is very important to my best friend, for some reason. He has one in a modern AU and he probably invented one in canon. I happen to agree that this makes sense for his character, if anyone would invent a bong in LoZ it's Robbie (this is such an anticlimactic end to this ask after the stuff about the modern AU...)

Also, sorry for the long ass ask. I genuinely don't know how to condense the Adoption Au down any further. There's a lot of important plot beats to cover, and I still skipped things.

-Attllhak

oh my GOD???? if you ever write and post this somewhere id love to read it, the level of "crazy" conspiracy/action movie elements implemented sound sosososo cool, from Ganondorf being Deku's half brother to trying to "send a message" via Twi and- just- all of this is SO good.i sat here and reread this ask like 3 times as if that would magically spawn more info about it ahaha

there's so much to unpack here but it's honestly so worth it i love every single detail!!! i can imagine the actual outline being way longer, nad honestly that just makes me the more excited/curious about all that might be missing from this ask - i cant believe it started with Wild and Wars going to Taco Bell of all things

also i can totally see Robbie making a bong, no matter the setting or AU. fits him a lot I'd say

and dont worry about long asks!! i adore opening up my askbox to see one ask take over the entire thing, it makes me really happy aha

#attllhak #im once again rendered speechless (in a good way) by your creative mind attllhak #tortilla asks #long post #linked universe #ask to tag #injury mention

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bsd-bibliophile · 3 years

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Survey Dates: November 15, 2020 - December 15, 2020 Number of Participants: 331

You can view and download the full results here.

Comments:

#BringBackYumeno2020

How cool you included translators in this! You ROCK.

bsd kunikida needs a vacation

Bungou Stray Dogs have been a blessing for me ever since I started watching the series last year. I had lost my drive for reading and writing as a hobby, university and disillusionment with the publishing industry killed that, but now I have been revitalized thanks to the series. Not only did it drive me to go back to writing original works, but I have started writing fanfiction again after almost ten years of hiatus from story writing. The BSD online library has been a blessing not only as a source of research for the writers for my fanfic, but also has been the only way that I have been easily been able to get a hold of some works by the authors in English, my preferred reading language. Please keep up the good work! Thank you so much for everything that you have provided for this fandom.

Buraiha,,,, just them

Do not make me choose between Dazai and Chuuya, I cannot, they are both my favs lol.

for the question about how many books by japanese authors i own, i responded with more

Hello friend! Twain’s my favourite in bsd but this is about japanese literature soooo than 10, but to clarify: they are not all from bsd authors.

hello!! just a quick thank you note!! im polish and variety here in japanese literature (either in polish or english) is very limited, but thanks to your website it's very easy to find works i want to read both by japanese or russian authors. i also like the fact that i can read abt the authors' connections and how they influenced each other in their works, and get some historical context. i want to be a translator in the future, so i'm incredibly grateful for this kind of accessibility. keep up the good work and thank you once again!!! <333 - julia sz

I will like to thank you for all the information that you have supplied us on the tumblr page. Also I will like to know if you have any information about "A New Hamlet" the adaptation Dazai made of Hamlet. You will really help me if you know anything about it.

hi, i really enjoy your blog and "no longer human" as well as "the moon over the mountain" are on my christmas list. i hope to learn more about these authors and i wish you a good day!

Hi! Just hope you have a great day!

I am currently learning Japanese and I hope one day I can read these authors works in Japanese instead of a translation

I am interested in reading literary works translated into languages other than English, but have difficulty finding ways to read them. For BSD, I also watch the recordings of stage plays. Also, BSD and the authors have sparked my interest in other Japanese literature (I really like Banana Yoshimoto's books). Lastly, thanks for the online library, it's such a huge help!

I am sad to have to answer that I’ve not read these authors. I just watched the whole anime in the last two weeks and am going to go read some of these authors now. I actually have two literature degrees from US institutions and have become increasingly aware of how awfully western they are. I love this anime and am glad it’s opened me up to these authors. I’m excited to read them.

I can't wait to see what you do with these results!!

I cannot thank you & your blog enough for helping me fall further in love with Bungou Stray Dogs. Keeping so many works in an easy-to-access place is also a total lifesaver--and you just made it all the more easier to realize my love for literature. I know I'm rambling, but thank you so much!

I have a question, is it better to read these Japanese novels in their original language (Japanese) or does it not really matter if you read the English translation? I guess it's a given that reading it in Japanese is more authentic, but I'm just wondering if it's really worth it to learn such a complex language just for the sake of authenticity. Are English translations at least 90% legit anyway?

I have read most Japanese works in English except for the poetry of Nakahara Chūya, which I read in/translated from Japanese.

I have very mixed feeling towards BSD, I prefer the side stories rather than the main plot and I only like a small choice of characters, but I appreciate the series for introducing me to many great authors that I hadn't known.

I hope you have a great day!!

I just found BSD Biblio blog recently, but still I get to know about the real life authors a lot. I can't understand japanese much, so this blog truly helps me to know more about the authors and their remarkable works. I'm greatly appreciate the efforts that had been put on this blog ^^ My deepest gratitude to the translators~♡

I just wanted to say thank you for your big interest in sharing japanese literary œuvres on the internet. Here in Spain there aren't many works translated in spanish, and those that are translated, have a poor translation, except the works of Dazai. Your page lets me enjoy many pieces of art from the great japanese writers!

I love bsd and bsd-bibliophile is a great blog

I love the blog and my favorite things are the quotes! Keep up the good work. <3

I love the universe that taught me to love books.

I love this blog and thank you sm for all the love and hard work you put into it. Thank you.

I love your blog, but I didn't know you had a library! I'm definitely checking it out, since where I live it's not easy to find the books of all the authors and I want to read at least one book of each! ❤️

I love your blog:)

I love your blog!

I love your tumblr! Thank you so much for collecting all the information about the authors!

I LOVE YOUR WEBSITE ITS AMAZING THANK YOUUUU

I love your work and dedication!

I mostly make do with the books that are available in my public library, thus the only physical copy I own is "the key" bu tanizaki (if that's the correct translation of the novel)

I play the BSD mobage; that is about as far as I am into BSD as a fandom, as I've only began a couple months ago.

I prefer print, but ebooks are good when that's what's available. I started reading the BSD manga, but stopped. I enjoy it much more just vicariously through my friends who read the manga and novels. Thanks for providing Japanese lit content all the time! I'm trying to learn Japanese, but I've a long way to go, so it's cool to learn about authors and possible English translations.

I read a lot more Japanese authors than I used to before, due to the anime Bungo Stray Dogs

I really adore what you do. Though I have not been very active in the library due to real life issues, I look forward to sitting down and looking through it!

I really appreciate BSD-Bibliophile. I've learned a lot and I know without it, I might not have gotten this into Japanese literature!

i really enjoy seeing your posts on my feed and reading quotes from various writers. thank you for your effort, i really appreciate it :)

I really like that you share quotes of these authors, they're really interesting to read! :) It also helps me to decide what I want to read next haha

I really want to read the light novels, I wish one day you can upload them! Love this page so much!!

I saw a few posts from your blog on Twitter and I'll definitely follow it from now on! What you all are doing is truly amazing and I wish you and your blog only the best! (I don't have enough free time to dive into as many books as I wish I could, so your blog is really helpful)

I think Asagiri-sensei try to promote these famous Japanese authors and I really glad he did because I actually like the poems and story by these authors and whenever I read you guys post a quote from any of their books, I feels the need to buy the book. Thank you for your hardwork!

I think your work in organizing and encouraging people to engage in Japanese literature beyond the series that introduced them to it is awesome.

I use BSD-Bibliophile so much and am very grateful to have it!

I wanted to read some of Dazai's, Kenji's and Akutagawa's works, but they are hard to find in physical stores

I wanted to thank for both the blog and the online library for granting me acess to works that are either too expensive or not available in my country <3

I'm following BSD for 4 years and I read literature of BSD authors as much as I can. I'm deeply in love with its characters, and I'm delighted every time I discover the references from the real life authors and their works. I recommend for those who want to go in-depth with BSD to read the literature, or at least learn about the real life authors. It worths the time. You'll love BSD even more, and maybe the real life authors and their works as well.

I'm new to Bungou Stray Dogs, and I plan on getting my hands on the manga soon! and also the works of the real authors the characters are based off of. :)

I'm so thankful for the site! Since I can't afford the actual book, I am able to read them thru here and if you don't mind, please add Hagiwara Sakutaro's Hownling at The Moon and Kikuchi Kan's Beyond the Pale of Vengeance. Thank you!

I'm so thankful to the amount of effort put into this blog. Thank you so much.

I've been following you for years, your blog is one of my favorites. Thanks for all you do!

I've come by this website a few times, but today is the first time I've really read anything on here. The posts provide a lot of insight. I'll definitely be coming back here to make use of the online library. Thanks for making this available!

I've read and enjoyed Dazai's works, and he's the one I choose for favourite, but it's hard - if I had to choose a second I'd go with Chuuya's poetry. I've somehow wound up reading and re-reading it both for reference in my own works, and just because I want to, when I like.

I've thoroughly enjoyed all the works I've found through this series and I highly recommend people look into Tachihara's poetry! He's my favorite poet ever and his work is highly underrated.

I'm very thankful for this blog. It's heaven-sent for a booklover and fan of Japanese literature for me. I'm sure you're constantly trying to update the library, but there are a few very rare books I've always wanted to read but I'm not sure if I'll get to. Can you add "Azamukazaru no Ki" by Kunikida Doppo? I'm not sure if there exists an English translation, but I'd be eternally grateful even if you uploaded the original Japanese (actually, I would prefer that to the translation, even though it would take a million years for me to decipher the whole of it, at my level of knowledge of the Japanese language. Japanese and English being poles apart in grammatical structure, a lot of the nuances of a Japanese piece is lost in a translation, and this being a record of Kunikida's innermost feelings, I would prefer to read the original.) I also want to read the reports Kunikida made while he was a war correspondent during the Sino-Japanese war, that made him famous as a writer and journalist, but I'm not sure if those could be available. Please include Kunikida's wonderful poetry too. I have mostly read some them in the original Japanese, or Bengali translations made by a senpai of mine, but I would love to read more. As you can probably tell, Kunikida is one of my favourite Japanese authors (although I selected Akutagawa as my favourite in the survey... I love both of their writings equally, but the survey only wanted one answer, so I chose Akutagawa.) Please include writings of other Japanese authors who are not featured in BSD as well, if that is possible (you could maybe create a different section for them?) One of my favourite Japanese authors is Komatsu Sakyou, but I've only been able to read one book of his ("Japan Sinks"). I also want to read "Virus: the Day of Resurrection", "Take Your Choice" and assorted short stories written by him, but Japanese literature is unfortunately not at all easily available where I live. Which is all the more reason I'm so thankful for your blog. I wouldn't have been able to read so many amazing books of some of my favourite authors if it hadn't been for your blog. So, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I hope you will read this and consider my requests. Have a nice day :)

it is through bsd-bibliophile's blog that i am able to go in-depth about japanese authors, so thank you so much! and just a little suggestion, though you don't have to do this if you don't have time or there's simply not any reason for you to do it, i would really love to answer a survey not only featuring japanese authors but all authors across different literatures (japanese, american, english, russian) who are featured in bsd because i think that would be fun as well. and this is really a fun survey~ thank you so much!

It was very fun to fill this list.

It's too hard to choose only one character or author

Keep doing what you do, it's amazing!

keep the great works!

Loved this!!! 💕

Nothing in particular. I just wanna thank you for having this survey. Loving BSD forever.

Since I only recently fell into the world of BSD and Japanese literature I haven't been able to read many of the works I want. I'm quite eager to read "No Longer Human" by Dazai-sensei since I really liked his style. An interesting thing is that I wasn't very fond of reading poetry until I discovered Yosano-sensei and Miyazawa-sensei, I enjoyed their work a lot. I'm very grateful to this blog, I wouldn't have been able to immerse myself this much into Japanese literature and read all this wonderful works if it wasn't for you so thank you so much! Keep up the good work!! ♡

Thank you for all of your hard work in these translations; reading Japanese literature has always been my wish. Being able to find and read their works in English is the greatest thing that's happened to me.

Thank you for all the hard work! You all curate the content so carefully and do so much for the fandom. It's one of my favorite bsd

Thank you for all the work you do~ and thank you for the library as well~

Thank you for all the work you’ve done💕✨

Thank you for all your hard work!

Thank you for continuing your work on this blog!

Thank you for everything you do!

Thank you for helping me find the translated copy of Return to Tsugaru by Osamu Dazai a while back!

Thank you for making the online library available! It's a great way to read some of these works that are not easily found elsewhere.

Thank you for providing the PDF's of these books, I don't want to buy them until I know I like them because it's hard for me to read because of my ADHD, so thank you for providing them in English!!!!

Thank you for the survey!

Thank you for this site! It really helps me to learn more about the Japanese Literature. Thank you to everyone who worked hard to translate the manga and light novels! I cannot decide which author I liked the best nor which book I liked most. It really is hard for me too choose! *sends love to everyone in this site*

thank you for this site! this really feeds my reading and BSD obsession <3

Thank you for your hard work :)

Thank you for your hard work, BSD Bibliophile! You are amazing! ;)

Thank you for your hard work!

Thank you for your work ♥

thank you so much for all that you do!!

Thank you so much for all your work on the BSD Bibliophile website!

Thank you so much for both your blog and the online library!!

Thank you so much for bringing closer the translated works and thanks for the authors who translated them

thank you so much for creating this special blog! I love it and really adore it

Thank you so much for your great work! your blog is a treasure for those who don't speak Japanese but are in love with Japanese literature (─‿‿─)♡

thank you so much for your website!!! sending love from hk!! :DD

Thank you so much for your wonderful work in making Japanese literature more accessible, so people who cannot find them in their country are also able to enjoy them <3

Thank you very much for your efforts in providing information and reading materials for everyone! I find your blog and website especially useful since I can't seem to find any physical copies here where I'm from.

Thank you!

Thank you.

Thanks for all of your hardwork!

thanks for ur hard work <3

Thankyou so much for this amazing collection of Japanese writers and BSD!

The translations from the BSD Library are amazing.

there's always more than one favorite character or author but it is hard to pick between them

This blog is has so many posts that have helped me to read these literary work and became an important part of my life. Thank you for all moderators for sharing these beautiful works.

This is an interesting survey for bsd franchise also for the people who like and read Japanese literature. As a casual franchise wanderer, I'd like to fill this for showing my country existence//slaps wwwwwwwww. Thank you for providing this survey. Salam Literasi!

This library is amazing!

This was fun!! I use the bsd-bibliophile tumblr a lot - reading the quotes helps me pick which book to read next!! Through reading the Japanese literature written by BSD characters, I’ve since found other Japanese authors I love like Sakutarō Hagiwara and Dan Kazou, too!!!! <3

To clarify some of my answers, The Japanese books I own are mostly children's books. My parents however, have some Japanese novels and short stories as they are from Japan (for example my mom has a copy of Kumo no Ito by Akutagawa). I never finished Setting Sun nor Kokoro. I got about halfway through both before I had to return it to the library. The only other jp lit I've read not including poems is like a quarter of Snow Country by Kawabata Yasunari.

would just like to thank you for always providing the resources for BSD fans! i have been introduced to some of my favourite all-time works since discovering your blog and your resources!

You have a great blog, thank you all!

You're doing amazing work. Thank you so much for all you do for this fandom and the Japanese literary sphere in general.

You’re the best!

Your blog is absolutely amazing and if i hadn't found it i wouldn't have been able to read any of the BSD authors' works, i downloaded each one that interested me in PDF from your blog, hence why i admire it so much and i am so grateful for it. It is obvious that you put a huge amount of work into this blog and i love to wake up to new quotes and fragments every day. Keep up the great work, with love, a reader from Romania!

Your blog is amazing. Keep up the great work! Much support ♥️

your blog is SO helpful for my master's thesis on japanese literature. there is basically nothing in my country about japanese authors and i cannot thank you enough for the work you have done. seriously you are saving my life !!!!!!!!!! i really hope you have a good day!!!! you are really awesome™

Your BSD Library is very helpful for me, thank you for your efforts on creating it!

Your website is great, and I really appreciate your work, it’s makes it so much easier to find Japanese literature and to find new authors.

Your work is beautiful and you have expanded my knowledge of international literature so much; thank you :)

#survey #results #2020 #japanese literature #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #bsd #bsd-bibliophile

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