#maybe i should have just left it ambiguous forever

[muffinrag]

i hate coming out so much

[stuckasmain]

Hal’s deactivation is hard hitting across both the movie and the book. It’s been dissected a million times and likely more in the future. Most recently in the way of Hal having little agency…he has no arms to ward off his attacker or means of defense (but I’d argue killing Frank and the others was his defense, especially in the movie when his reasoning is more ambiguous). I do love the idea this is following and hope to see more of it in the future, however the way I’m approaching it is with a more romantic lense.

The entire lobotomy sequence is heart wrenching and almost worse in the novel purely because we get to see Dave’s thoughts on it. Not only do we hear Hal’s frightened pleas for his life but we get the ‘attacker’ perspective and it’s… an act of mercy.

While there is the themes of survival and violence this is approached with a softer touch. It’s much more that he is putting Hal out of his misery. Ending his suffering. Not putting him down like an animal but rather the harsh decision faced when one has an ill/dying lover.

“The only answer was to cut out the higher centers of this sick but brilliant brain, and to leave the purely automatic regulating systems in operation” 155

After the job is done Dave forgives Hal incredibly quickly once all of the facts are in. He can quickly pull together the mental break that must’ve happened and recognizes that Hal had the very human ‘fight or flight’ response to what he had been through. He had always been treated like a sixth crew member, respected and talked to like anyone else but it is only “post Mortem” that Dave recognizes how human Hal was and that true emotion might be more than theorizing.

“And yet, in one very real sense, he was not alone. Before he could be safe, be must be lonelier still.” 153

The fact that Dave genuinely sees Hal as his last true connection. Even after the murders. How he fights and forgives and comes up with excuses to not have to go through with the enviable because then will he be truly alone… but he also knows logically- Hal isn’t right and can’t be left active. Despite his feelings safety and protocol come first.

Hal is human in Dave’s eyes and it makes things all the more tragic, it’s what turns shutting off functions into lobotomy, into murder. He thinks he won’t feel pain, not because he’s machine but because there’s no sense in the human cortex. So human that his “true” voice is unrecognizable and horrifying.

“Bowman could bare no more. He jerked out the last unit, and Hal was silent forever.” 157

It’s not rage which he makes the final blow, it’s sorrow. It’s pulling the plug.

Some of Hal’s lines in the book particularly, as we get more insight into him as well and some of his pleading. His honest to god confusion and panic because he’s so young and has no idea of sleep and …

“I don’t understand why you’re doing this to me. . . You are destroying my mind. . . Don’t you understand? I will become childish. . . I will be nothing. . .” 156

I don’t know, I’m becoming borderline incoherent but there’s something here that’s so tender and sorrowful that I have to address it. I’m a sucker for the violence = intimacy metaphor just as anyone but the unwitting murderer is also an angle I have to adore.

Maybe in another life Hal got to be a little gay Victorian with someone to hold his hand on his sick bed rather than be murdered. I just think he deserves better; they both do.

Computer death sad -> he should be fed soup

This is when you know you should go to bed.

[weirdmarioenemies]

Name: Zomboni

Debut: Plants vs. Zombies

Plants vs. Zombies is such a silly game. Silly is baked into its very code. And I love that! You know me! I live under rotting wood, eating silly and breaking it down into nutrient-rich soil! But I think Zomboni has the honor of being the silliest thing in this already-silly game!

There is no way Zomboni would exist if it weren't for the wordplay. So thank goodness for the wordplay! A zombie, on a Zamboni. Though, we are informed that it is actually "more closely related to a space ogre than a Zombie". What impeccable word choice! So it's not even actually a space ogre. Just some weird guy creature. Awesome

Zomboni drives an ice resurfacing machine, and I have no idea what the general public's knowledge level of these things is. Does the average person know the exist? I knew, but I played and hated playing hockey as a child so I got to watch the ice being resurfaced, which was the best part. Some guy who may or may not be tangentially related to space ogres will drive this machine around the ice rink, cutting down the surface and laying down fresh ice to make a nice and smooth surface, I think. Now, I may be using the generic term for this product, but commonly, there is one brand name that is used commonly, like Band-Aid or Q-Tip or Velcro, and for that we can thank...

Name: Frank J. Zamboni

Debut: Utah

Frank J. Zamboni! Hooray! What do you have to say, Frank?

Wow. So true, Frank. I'm sure this message is reaching its intended audience in this post. Anyway, ol' Ice Tank Frank made such an iconic machine that it is THE ice resurfacing machine in the public consciousness, and there is even a trademark for its iconic shape! That seems unnecessary but ok. Now, when the ghost of the Zamberino was scrying the mortal realm for references to his work in media, he came across parody in a funny video game, and OBVIOUSLY something had to be done about that!

And from then on, Zomboni's description was updated to reflect that it is NOT to be confused with a Zamboni® brand ice resurfacing machine, you silly billy, why would you think that? And they also plugged the Zamboni website in-game, so that the audience of, I must emphasize, a silly video game, would be more likely to buy an entire ice resurfacing machine, or at least its related merchandise. I really would think this would all be fine under parody law, but maybe it has to do with the shape trademark. Whatever. To the Zamboni company's credit, they have some incredible merchandise.

What a powerful item. With this, the course of a baby's life can be changed forever...

Zomboni with an O, I mean with two Os, approaches while creating a trail of freshly laid ice that cannot be planted on. The brand-ambiguous ice resurfacing machine is quite tough, but instant-kill plants are effective, as are Spikeweeds and Spikerocks, which will instantly pop its tires!

Zomboni is a considerable threat, instantly flattening any plant it reaches before its destruction, though the player should be pretty well-equipped to combat it, and the ice is laid on the right side of the screen, rather than the precious left side. Pretty manageable! But Zomboni is only the beginning, and as much delight and intrigue as I have gleaned from Zomboni's existence, it's what FOLLOWS Zomboni that is, in fact, my favorite zombie(s) in the game.

If Zomboni is allowed to create an ice trail, it will be used by Zombie Bobsled Team! Yeah, Frank got a whole "name/debut" section and these guys just get a bolded name in a sentence. You never know what I'm gonna do next! Hee hee!

Zombie Bobsled Team is exactly what it sounds like! A team of zombies, in a bobsled! So that's four zombies, with a defensive vehicle that has to be destroyed before they can be harmed! Zomboni was already over-the-top silly, and then Zombie Bobsled Team goes even higher over that top. And it's a Big Top, where they keep all the clowns. There is not much else I can say about Zombie Bobsled Team, but it really speaks for itself!

For some reason there exists official art of "Mullet Zombie", the Zomboni driver without his vehicle and hat. And for an even somer reason, they put it on the box art for the DS version! PvZ1 is simply very strange when it comes to official key art. Messed up.

[oshiawaseni]

While the second opening was disingenuous to the heart of Izuku's solo arc, the actual content of the anime itself has remained quite faithful. Even going so far as to add or change some details to better represent the characters and their feelings. It's almost as if these changes were an amendment to the manga, just in case the manga didn't answer certain questions well enough.

Like the true reason Izuku decided to leave U.A. The manga presents Izuku's loved ones as a group, with Katsuki there as the last person your eyes should look at. But will readers make that connection? With the removal of just one word in the anime, the group part of the sentence, it shows viewers a more solid, concrete reason: It was explicitly because of Katsuki nearly dying.

Another example is how the various translations of Katsuki's line ("waatteru") created fandom friction, and they would flitter between "I know" and "We know," depending on who was translating it.

I always thought it had a very personal "I know" vibe to it because as Katsuki stated, and this is something reminded to us only 3 chapters earlier: He is the person who "knows" Izuku best. The anime removes ambiguity of the I know/We know debate by having Izuku apologise only once he'd made it into Katsuki's arms, making their exchange of words appear even more intimate and direct to one another. Katsuki knows.

Then after he stumbles his way into Katsuki's arms, there is that bonus clip of him being awake to hear Katsuki's gentle forgiveness of him. To express that the last of his resolve has crumbled because of Katsuki’s apology and being held in those arms he feels safe. He feels loved. So Izuku gives himself fully to Katsuki's care, murmuring out his beloved’s name with a "Ka…” right before finally succumbing to sleep. I think this extra moment makes the feel of their apology seem even more romantic… because it's supposed to.

And now Ochaco's handhold! It being featured in the opening gave some of us grief every week simply because this arc was never about IzuOcha, it was about Katsuki and Izuku.

Katsuki realising his need for Izuku to be by his side and losing SLEEP over not knowing if he's okay. Katsuki's proud statement of knowing Izuku best and that he couldn't be left alone because of his disregard for himself. Katsuki instigating the search and rescue of Izuku. Katsuki humbling himself before Endeavor and Nezu, setting aside his pride in exchange for the safety of his most important person and best friend, PLEADING Endeavor for his help because he's SO AFRAID of Izuku being out of his sight and losing him forever.

Katsuki saving Izuku's life again. Katsuki humbling himself a second time, apologising to Izuku and telling him to put some trust into him and their hero friends; that they can be relied on to help him. Katsuki telling him his ideals of saving people weren't wrong, and they can only win by saving everyone: Izuku, the people at U.A and the people in the city.

The beautiful poetry in Izuku’s reason for leaving, to protect his most precious person, being overtaken by his reason to stay: Izuku’s unconditional, everlasting love for that person and his overwhelming need to be by their side. And here Katsuki was, finally telling him it was okay to; he wants him there.

Even Daiki-kun said the last of Izuku's resolve left him because of Kacchan’s heartfelt apology… Yes. The opening’s handhold was really out of place.

And after Izuku is brought back to U.A, we get to the real IzuOcha handhold... But rather than grabbing his hand like she does in the manga, they have her grab the more impersonal wrist area instead. It's so hard to believe we are in a timeline where Bones are making an opening Ocha-centric, when it shouldn't be, and yet NERFING her handhold in the ACTUAL anime content…??????

All of this has got me thinking that maybe Hori himself has been directing Bones to make these changes - to make BkDk's growing love for each other a more prominent fixture in the story that’s almost impossible to miss, while dampening the IzuOcha teasing into little more than kindness between two good friends. And in doing so, the anime has now become spiritually connected to the manga because this is the exact same direction the manga has been going in lately.

Why else were all of these changes and enhancements made in the anime? Maybe it’s because Horikoshi is preparing people for the bkdk romance that's about to go into full bloom.

[demetriandelibinaryboyfriends]

@ckhalloween23

Here is my submission for the Week 2 prompt "Witches"--a preview from a new fic I'm working, Flower of Lemon and Feather of Shrike! I decided to do a deep dive into Yasmine's drastically OOC Season 4 behavior, and explore a scenario where its origin is...a bit more sinister than poor writing or repressed lesbianism aknskfnhdrf

This one isn't just for the YasMoon girlies, but in fact for all the girlies who thought Yasmine Nolastname was big boi screwed over in S4, and deserved better!!! Even the foulest of bitchy bullies don't deserve to be reduced to a trophy girlfriend and a prop for a male character's storyline, especially when said male character is a pretty garbage boyfriend when it comes right down to it </3 (More on that later!!!)

This one is also for the MoonPiper girlies, because god, were we fucked over too D: Also actually (mostly) canon compliant, except H*wkM**n never ever get back together and stay broken up forever and always amen peace and love on planet earth <3 <3 <3 <3

There's no world where I will acknowledge this stupid ship got undeadified like a horrendous, nonsensical, chemistry-devoid zombie when it had long since run its narrative course and played its role in both Eli and Moon's arcs can you tell awehakureyigsrf

This is Moon's POV and Yasmine and Moon-centric, but I left the shippier parts ambiguous since I wanted to make something that my non-shipper friends can enjoy too ^^; There are feelings on Moon's side but as far as I'm concerned that's basically canon lmao like did you SEE that girl in S4??? She was so thirsty for Blondie that I'm genuinely shocked the showrunners didn't tell Hannah Kepple to stop kanhdskufhd Definitely tried to leave Yasmine's feelings more up in the air, though! Interpret her however you like ^^

Fic preview under the cut! As always, moodboard pic credits available upon request!

***

The phone line cuts off, and Yasmine’s name disappears from the screen.

Moon curls into her pillow, erupting in ragged sobs. She can’t remember the last time she’s felt this helpless.

This entirely consumed by pure, raw emotion.

Her mind is a whirlpool, everything Yasmine spat at her twisting around and around and around. None of it seems real.

Because Moon can’t wrap around her head around meaning nothing to Yasmine. She can’t make sense of a world where she was only a pawn—someone for the repressed queen bee to “experiment” with. Someone to cater to Yasmine’s whims and fulfill her every desire and ask nothing in return.

Yasmine was everything to Moon. Moon was nothing to Yasmine. And how did that make any fucking sense?

Moon’s hands knot into the covers, a scream ripping from her throat. Somewhere amid the blinding torrent of heartbreak and rage, she finds herself tearing incense sticks from her drawers and lighting candles with shaking hands.

She always swore to herself she’d never touch the rear section of her spellbook, pages marked with a black tab. But if Yasmine can’t keep her promises, why should Moon?

Her chest burns as she recites the incantation.

“By flower of lemon and feather of shrike I bid you know what this pain is like”

*

“Maybe we could meet in the middle? Like a…sexual Venn diagram?”

Yasmine’s face twists in disgust. Moon only rolls her eyes.

She would tell Demetri to stop being a creep, but she knows he doesn’t mean it. Just playing the part he thinks he should after girls have started noticing him.

And Moon knows what it’s like to hide your authentic self to better fit a mold. She’s eternally thankful Piper taught her better.

“So what’s under the blanket?” she prompts.

As Demetri begins his demonstration, Yasmine’s expression shifts. “Not bad. My parents might not have to pay for an A this time.”

Moon can’t help feeling a bit surprised.

So Yasmine’s taking the “be a little nicer” advice to heart, at least. A hint of gratitude toward anyone is a first.

And then the soccer ball comes.

Her panic strips away her new cordiality. Moon knows exactly where her friend’s mind goes.

She’s about to be the “dumb blonde” again—the vapid, useless pretty girl who always has to bribe her way to a pass. And it makes her feel so disgustingly helpless.

“Do you have another one?” A last-ditch attempt to save her grade without her family’s intervention.

As she watches the altercation play out, Moon could slice the tension between Hawk and Demetri with a knife. She’s never quite fancied herself an empath, but there’s something hauntingly familiar about the way Demetri’s entire body is trembling.

She sees herself, hunched up and bawling her eyes out. She sees the overpowering grief that tore free a side Moon didn’t even know she had.

Thank the gods nothing came of that episode.

When Sam arrives, Moon gives her a pleading look. Off she goes to rescue their big-mouthed friend, prepared to cut into Hawk with all the steel Moon could never quite work up.

“Are we gonna fail?”

The whisper in Moon’s ear is so lost. So broken.

Yasmine’s always been a mess. Moon supposes she should be flattered she’s one of the only people who’s ever gotten to see it.

“No.” She sighs. “Demetri’s smart. He’ll figure something out.”

*

“You’ll never guess what I saw yesterday.”

Sam leans over at the start of history class, smirk dancing across her lips.

“What?”

“Yasmine and Demetri are a thing.”

Moon knits her brow, confused.

“What’re you talking about?”

Sam sniggers. “I turned a corner in the hall and saw them making out, clear as day.”

Despite her best efforts, she can’t hide her alarm.

“Oh my god. Does she know he’s…?”

Demetri’s passes at Yasmine weren’t exactly genuine. Moon always thought Yas would be more intuitive about that sort of thing, especially considering the way she talked about Demetri when he first started hanging out with them.

“He’s what?”

“Um…never mind.”

It wasn’t Moon’s place to divulge Demetri’s business, especially when he hadn’t even figured it out himself. Or…didn’t want to admit certain things to himself, at least.

“Yasmine was pissed when Miguel and I caught them,” Sam goes on. “It was so funny. She insisted she’d never go out with him, but…you know. Unless you slipped me some LSD at lunch and I’m hallucinating, I have my doubts.”

She laughs again, clearly tickled pink by the whole thing. Moon only frowns.

“I’m so confused. All she’s ever done is complain about him.”

Her friend shrugs. “Denial’s not just a river in Egypt, I guess.”

“No, like. She thinks basically every single one of his interests is annoying. And she told me once that listening to him talk is like when you hit your brakes too fast and your whole car screeches.”

“Well, you know Yas. She thinks she’ll combust if she says something nice about anyone.”

“Right, but…” Moon narrows her eyes. “She’s picky as hell when it comes to dating. I, um…I would know. And Demetri’s the furthest possible thing from her type.”

“Opposites attract?”

“Not like that. I saw him try to explain basic particle physics to her one time and she nearly went to sleep. And that’s only the tip of the iceberg.”

“Maybe it’s just a physical thing. We both know how crazy hormones can be, right?”

Moon hopes for Yasmine’s sake that Sam is right. Otherwise…

Well, there’s probably no need to entertain that possibility.

*

“I love it when you talk nerdy.”

Moon’s so caught up in Yasmine’s sweeping, graceful movements that it takes a moment for the statement to sink in.

She always smiles when she watches her best friend. She can’t help it. Yasmine moves like a mountain waterfall—majestic and larger than life, all while flowing so seamlessly.

It isn’t until Yasmine lets Demetri pull her in, giggling like an elementary schooler, that Moon’s smile falls.

No, you don’t.

Because Moon knows Yasmine, and she knows she has a hatred for “nerd shit” that could rival Hawk at his worst.

She despises anything that makes her feel small. Unimportant. Insignificant.

Moon remembers the look on Yasmine’s face when Sam leaned away from their popular table, exchanging easy chemistry banter with Aisha. She remembers the dejected pout when lunchroom conversations turned to AP homework, Sam and Demetri so engrossed in what Yasmine called “stupid school garbage” that they forgot the blonde girl was even there.

Because as much as Yasmine makes out like she couldn’t care less about anything, she doesn’t like to be reminded that she isn’t book smart. That the math and science that come naturally to Sam and Aisha and Demetri and even Hawk don’t make a lick of sense to her.

Sure, Demetri’s knowledge was useful when it got Yas a good grade. But on its own?

It only reminds her how inadequate she feels. How inadequate Moon knows she’s always felt.

And it was good, in a way, that Aisha tearing Yasmine’s popularity asunder showed her that the world didn’t revolve around her. But Moon senses the deep hurt Yasmine still carries, seeing glimpses of the worlds she’ll never know how to be part of.

So when Yasmine says she loves Demetri’s “nerdspeak,” lust and desire rolling off her in waves, it feels like she was the victim of some Freaky Friday body swap.

People change. Of course they do.

But not like this. Not enough to forget their very sense of self.

“Save me a seat at lunch? Specifically…this one?”

The smack of Yasmine’s hand hitting Demetri’s asscheek reverberates through the hall. Moon has to laugh at the sheer absurdity.

Yasmine hasn’t lost her fire in some ways, at least.

And Demetri doesn’t seem to mind. Perhaps Moon’s assumption was wrong.

She and Yasmine head off to class, her friend fawning nonstop over her geeky boyfriend. Moon smiles and nods along, pushing down the unease swimming in her chest.

Moon picks up a whiff of Yasmine’s perfume, and realizes that it’s lemonflower.

*

Dragging Yasmine away from Demetri at the prom is like trying to bathe a cat.

Moon finally gets her alone after a few songs, suggesting they grab some punch for Demetri and the others. Yasmine eagerly agrees, her entire being lighting up at the thought of doing her boyfriend even a miniscule favor.

There’s something unsettling in the way it’s so mind-bogglingly different from the Yasmine of a few months ago, who would rather chug drain cleaner Heather Chandler style than revolve her entire being around the needs of some boy.

Maybe there’s a way to breach the subject without arousing suspicion.

“I can’t believe you flew all the way back from Australia.” Moon forces a laugh as she ladles punch into Yasmine’s cup. “I didn’t know you were that into him.”

“Oh, Moon!” Yasmine giggles, leaning her head on Moon’s shoulder. “I’m in love.”

She tries not to think about how soft Yasmine’s hair feels against her skin.

“And the dress, too!” Moon reminds herself that Yasmine is very happily spoken for. “You really went all out. It’s kind of cute how you’re embracing nerddom for him.”

Odd, but cute. That’s what Moon has to tell herself.

“You think he liked it?” Yasmine leaned back, twirling around. “It’s not too much, right? I don’t want to seem like I’m trying too hard to impress him. I know guys aren’t into that kind of thing.”

Moon has to laugh again.

“Since when do you care what guys like?”

“Since I found one worth caring about, obviously.”

She sighs, a faraway look in her gray-green eyes. Perhaps she really is in love.

It’s just that Moon always imagined love would feel deeper than this.

“I’m sure Demetri loved it,” Moon concedes. “He’s really happy you came back for him. I can tell.”

“Funny, when I first showed up, he and Hawk were huddled off in some corner brooding, like the idiots couldn’t just dance with each other if they wanted. Almost felt bad taking Hawk’s boyfriend away.”

She snickers, and Moon feels strange.

She decides to change the subject.

“It’s crazy. I mean, imagine what you would’ve said a year ago if I told you you’d be smitten with Demetri Alexopoulos at junior prom. I remember when we first started talking again, you must’ve bitched for twenty minutes about that time he hit on you at your birthday party.”

Yasmine’s silent for a moment.

“He was being a creep.” There’s a steely edge to her voice that wasn’t there before. “He says he’s been watching me from across the lunchroom and I’m supposed to be flattered by that?! Like, dude, who even are you? Why are you talking to me?”

Moon raises her eyebrows.

“A couple weeks ago in science you were gushing about how sweet the ‘admirer from afar’ thing was.”

“Did I?”

Yasmine scowls in disgust. Just underneath it, Moon could swear she picks up a streak of panic.

“Yeah! He kept blowing you kisses across the room, and you giggled so loud that Mrs. Elmes yelled at you, remember?”

“Oh, god. That’s embarrassing.”

She says it like it’s some undignified moment caught on camera at a party—tripping and spilling her drink on someone, or the like. An odd way to talk about a behavior she has more often than not these days.

“He’s still such a weirdo.” Moon wonders if she’s imagining the trace of the Old Yasmine’s scorn. “He’s so, like, awkward about it when he puts his hands on me to dance. Like he’s scared my weird girl body is gonna burn him like a hot plate or something. I mean, we’ve been dating for four months!”

Moon’s stomach squirms.

“Probably just doesn’t want to do anything you might not be comfortable with,” she says quickly.

“He could freaking ask.” Yasmine curls her lip. “But I don’t even think it’s that. He’s an uncoordinated mess. He can’t dance for shit, and I have to do all the work.”

“Hey, don’t be mean!” Moon elbows her gently. “All this stuff is new to him. He never had a girlfriend before you.”

“Yeah. And it shows. Half the time I can’t even tell if he’s like…enjoying himself, you know?”

Yasmine grunts, reaching up and itching the side of her head. The strobe lights catch on something falling from her hair.

Her expression abruptly shifts.

“Oh, my poor baby!” she gasps. “We’ve been leaving him hanging over there, haven’t we? I miss him already. Come on, I’m gonna cry if we miss the slow dance.”

And just like that, the disdain is gone. Yasmine bustles off, snatching her punch and sweeping back onto the dance floor.

Moon looks down at the table, and her eyes land on a gray feather.

A tiny thing, from a tiny, fierce little bird. Beak hooked, meant for killing and piercing like a raptor. Loud, screaming, crass. Unrefined. Ready to jump to violence at the slightest provocation, especially when it gave them an excuse to show off.

Everything Yasmine isn’t.

And, ironically, everything Demetri wants.

Moon’s gaze drifts back and forth between the dance floor—where Yasmine and Demetri have resumed their grinding—and the corner where Hawk stands alone. Hawk’s eyes don’t leave his best friend once.

And, every once in a while, Demetri looks back. Yasmine is none the wiser.

Moon stiffens, guilt trickling over her like hot wax before a hair removal. She downs the rest of her punch in one gulp before going outside and calling an Uber.

I’m such a fucking bitch.

Whatever Demetri and Yasmine get up to at the afterparty, she doesn’t want to be around for it.

*

“So how are things with Demetri?”

Moon keeps her tone light as they finish their food court tacos, but she sees the new charm bracelet around Yasmine’s wrist. And she knows damn well what that means.

“He’s so annoying.” Yasmine wastes no time diving into a rant. “He never fucking listens. I try to talk about stuff I care about or that I think is interesting, and he’s always acting distracted or changing the subject or whatever. I was telling him this cool thing I read online about the history of georgette skirts, and he didn’t ask a single follow-up question. I’ll bet the world’s shittiest sponge is better at retaining crap than him.”

“Sheesh.” Moon makes a face. “I’m sorry. Boys are the worst sometimes.”

“And that’s not even all.” Apparently Yasmine wasn’t finished. “Not ten minutes later, he’s rambling on and on about this blaster thing he unlocked in some video game. It was the verbal equivalent of having cement poured directly into my brain. And he has the nerve to call me boring?!”

“He did?” Moon scowls, genuinely peeved. “That’s so rude!”

Perhaps Demetri wasn’t as sweet and thoughtful as he always came across.

“Wouldn’t be the first time.” Yasmine frowns right back. “So he gets all snippy with me because he’s being a soggy paper towel of a human being and obviously I’m zoning out. He starts quizzing me on all the dumb bullshit he was blathering about, and I finally snap and tell him he’s boring me out of my fucking mind. And then he gives this whole speech about how at least he’s spending his free time learning strategy and problem-solving and hand-eye coordination, and all I’m doing is looking at clothes online.”

They walk over to the trash and throw out their taco wrappers. With both hands free, Yasmine’s free to gesture more fully and furiously.

“Girl, I got so mad that I called him an antisocial freak and told him he was damn lucky I ever gave him a shot. That was probably kind of messed up, but whatever. Sam doesn’t cut him down to size enough, so I have to pick up the slack. Anyways, I was storming out of the restaurant, but he did the following-and-groveling thing. And sure enough, we ended up at Kay again.”

Yasmine looks down at her bracelet-clogged arm, a forlorn expression swimming over her pretty features.

“I don’t know why I keep letting this happen.” She sighs. “It’s like trying to plug up a boat leak with fucking office tape.”

“Why don’t you break up with him?”

“I wish I could!” Moon’s caught off-guard by the genuine despair lacing Yasmine’s words. “I’ve rehearsed the speech a billion times. But…every time I’m around him, it’s like I’m hit with some kind of emotional tidal wave. And suddenly I can’t bear the thought of ending things.”

She looks so lost. So frantic. So helpless.

“I see him and all I can think about is how much I want him,” she goes on. “No room for anything else. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before, and it freaks me out.”

Once upon a time, Moon might have called that love. She knows better now.

She wants to reach across the table and take Yasmine’s hand. Reassure her that this is what overpowering teenage crushes are like. That of course your mind finds ways to make hormones and attraction centered around one person seem like the be-all end-all of everything. Hell, she remembers feeling that way about Hawk before she came down from the high and realized how incompatible they were.

But Moon doesn’t. She can’t.

“Something’s not right with me, Moon.” Yasmine’s voice is quiet and fragile—a tone Moon hasn’t heard for a long time. “Sometimes, I don’t—I don’t feel like myself. You remember that week you were in Cancun? I went to the mall with Sam and Demetri, and Sam was complimenting the lemon balm perfume I had on, but you know I never wear lemon-scented shit. Like what am I, a cleaning product?!”

Moon laughs, gladly taking Yasmine’s implicit offer to lighten the atmosphere.

That was one thing Moon always appreciated about her. She never passed up an opportunity to use snarky bluntness to make a joke out of something unpleasant.

It’s part of why her and Demetri’s connection hadn’t surprised Moon. At least not initially.

The strange thing was that their bond got as far as it did.

“At first I thought it was because something stuck to me when I walked through the perfume section of Macy’s,” Yasmine goes on. “But we all went through there, and I couldn’t smell any lemon shit on Sam and Demetri. Am I going crazy or what?”

Moon pushes away the sinking feeling in her chest.

“Maybe it’s Sam who’s imagining things.”

“That’s what I thought, too.” Yasmine’s voice grows terse with panic. “But then Demetri starts bragging about how I always wear the lemon perfume when I go out on dates with him. With the air of someone who, like, actually believes what they’re saying. And I don’t know what the fuck he’s talking about.”

“Like Demetri knows anything about perfumes. He probably got it mixed up with that bergamot one you like.”

Her reassurance doesn’t appear to work.

“Whatever,” Yasmine huffs. “Let’s talk about something else, yeah?”

Moon lets Demetri slip from the conversation, fading into mental oblivion as they leave the food court and head for H&M. Yasmine brightens almost immediately, losing herself gushing over cute pink dresses and fuzzy purple sweaters and champagne-tinted heels. The afternoon passes easily, sliding in and out of changing rooms and twirling and laughing in front of department store mirrors.

For a while, Moon can almost forget the overpowering fear emanating from her closest friend. She can almost forget feeling like the world’s cruelest sociopath.

*

When Moon knocks on the door to 44101 Portico Place for the first time in months, she’s only half expecting an answer.

It’s 5:00 on a Wednesday, so plenty of time for any after-school extracurriculars to finish up. But, of course, showing up anywhere unannounced always has the potential to go disastrously wrong.

Demetri helped her develop a healthy dose of pessimism. She isn’t sure whether to be grateful.

The door opens after only a couple minutes.

“Moonshine? What’s going on?”

Moon offers a strained smile. “Hey, Pipes.”

Piper frowns at her across the threshold, looking more concerned than angry. It makes Moon feel all the guiltier.

“Is everything okay?” Piper asks.

“Sorry to bother you. It’s—it’s about Yasmine. And you’re one of the only people I felt like I could ask.”

She winces at the flash of hurt in Piper’s face. Her ex leans on the doorframe, crossing her arms and cocking an eyebrow.

“Go on,” she says, tone resigned.

“So…” Moon takes a breath. “Remember when you said you couldn’t be with me until I figured my feelings for Yasmine out?”

“Yeah?”

“I…may have done some light spellcasting and accidentally hexed her into falling in love with a gay guy.”

Piper blinks a few times, taking a moment to process everything. Finally she groans, running a hand over her face.

“Jesus Christ, Moon. Come in—I’ll get us both some fucking edibles for this.”

Piper’s living room is exactly how Moon remembers it—cream-colored couches, tasteful wall décor, chic modern fireplace. A goofy, surfboard-shaped coffee table that Piper’s parents had once tried to sell at a yard sale, but little Piper screamed and cried and beat the ground with her fists until they relented to keeping her favorite piece of furniture.

Now, Moon props her sandaled feet up on a bar that runs underneath it. The metal is cold against her skin.

She tries to focus on that. Sensations in the here and now. Things immediate and tangible.

Not the abstract mess she’s caused.

Piper returns after a few minutes, placing a glass of carrot ginger lemonade and a small gummy on a coaster. Moon picks up the gummy, tentatively taking a nibble.

Piper chuckles. “Don’t worry, it’s not that many mils. I don’t want us to be totally baked.”

Moon takes a more generous bite.

“So.” Piper sits next to her and takes a sip of her own concoction—some kind of purplish whey smoothie. “What did you do?”

Moon gathers her thoughts, working through how best to phrase it.

“You remember when we first met?”

“Sure.” Piper smiles thinly. “Our parents dragged us to that dumb gala, and I found you sobbing your eyes out in the bathroom because your ex-best-friend threw you out like you were nothing. And then I went on to find you have a terrible habit of swooning over the world’s most horrendous shitbags.”

She lets out a small laugh. “I guess so, huh?”

Piper rolls her eyes. “I told you. Over and over and over.”

“I know, I know.” Moon sighs, wearily admitting defeat. “About a week before that party, Yasmine and I had a phone call. And she just…cut into me. Said so many awful things. And I get it. I mean, her sweet sixteen got ruined and then as like…icing on the cake, I ditched her for the people she hated. But I don’t think anyone’s ever broken me down like that before.”

Piper tosses a comforting arm around her shoulder. For a moment, they’re back on tile floors under harsh fluorescent lighting, puffing blunts and snickering about fake people.

“I know,” Piper says softly. “And when I found you, you were still pretty shaken from it. I hope I helped.”

Despite herself, Moon leans into her.

“You helped more than you know.”

“Clearly not enough to stop you from going out and doing some sort of supernatural fuckery.”

Moon laughs softly. “That’s the thing, though. I think it was already too late.”

“What do you mean?”

She takes a breath.

“That night, after Yasmine hung up on me…I don’t know. It felt like my whole life shattered. I guess in a moment of weakness, I pulled out my spellbook.”

Piper narrows her eyes. “You said you only ever used that thing to ‘cleanse the house of bad energy’ or whatever. Or give yourself good luck charms on tests. Not—”

“—cursing people, I know,” Moon finishes. “I was so upset that I wasn’t thinking straight. I recited this whole incantation that was supposed to make Yasmine know how it felt to want someone who would never want her back. And, um…I guess the love gods interpreted that as her getting down bad for a guy who doesn’t even like women.”

“Wait. Isn’t that the same guy who did an MTV-style roast of your weird ex that one time?”

Moon sighs wearily. “That’s Demetri all right.”

“I knew it.” Piper pounds her fist into the couch triumphantly. “Of course he’s gay. Straight dudes don’t pull that kind of petty shit.”

“He’s not exactly subtle, is he?”

“Nope.”

It’s Piper’s turn to sigh, eyeing Moon with an almost pitying look.

“Are you sure Yasmine doesn’t genuinely like him, and just has a shit gaydar? Or she’s really deep in denial? I know I’ve pined after my fair share of straight girls.”

Moon shakes her head. “I second-guessed myself for a long while. Thought maybe I was wrong about Demetri. Or maybe Yasmine had changed so much that she really is into the whole geek shtick now. But…”

She takes a long sip of her carrot ginger lemonade, hoping the intense flavor will somehow give her strength.

“She acts like an entirely different person whenever we’re with him. And…not really in a good ‘he makes her want to be better’ type of way. More like she’s forgotten everything she likes and every aspect of her being that isn’t related to her boyfriend.”

Piper stares at an abstract, avant-garde wall painting, deep in thought.

“Maybe she’s, like, stuck in a codependence loop,” she says. “You said she was pretty clingy with you freshman and sophomore year, right?”

“That was different, though. She acted one way alone with me and one way out in public, sure. But it made sense. Whenever we see Demetri, it’s like Yasmine’s being mind-controlled by one of those thirsty freshmen who think Demetri’s the hottest guy in school because he won a karate fight one time. Then as soon as I get Yas alone, she doesn’t seem to remember half of what she said or did. And when I fill her in, she gets super embarrassed. Not that Yas can’t put on a façade if she needs, but…why would she intentionally make an idiot of herself if she’s gonna be mortified an hour later? She’s not impulsive like that.”

Piper shrugs. “Hormones make people act stupid. I did some truly absurd shit the first time I was trying to get chicks to notice me.”

“Hormones don’t make you go into a weird trance that your brain bleaches right after. People only wish that happened.”

“Maybe Yasmine’s lucky enough to have a brain that can bleach on command,” says Piper cheekily. “Or maybe she’s way too proud to admit she’s being dumb over a boy, so she tries to like…will it out of existence through not acknowledging it.”

“It’s not just about the embarrassment, though.” Moon sucks in her breath. “Every time she realizes about the memory gaps, she’s scared. Like she knows something’s wrong with her.”

Piper groans, leaning back against the couch and sprawling her arms across a cushion. “Can we prove she’s not being a diva? Leave it to Yasmine to make a fucking ocean’s worth of fuss about the same teen angst literally everyone deals with.”

Moon winces at the scorn in Piper’s voice.

It really is a shitty move, asking her ex-girlfriend for help with a girl she knows Piper can’t stand. That Piper has a damn good reason to hate. Assuming the worst about Yasmine’s romance troubles is only fair.

But what other choice did Moon have? It’s not like her scientifically-minded friends, with their AP classes and their blocked chakras, would believe her about a magic spell gone awry.

“She starts smelling like the spell components whenever she’s near Demetri,” Moon says flatly. “And a couple of them came out of her hair. It’s not stuff she’d ever wear otherwise.”

Piper sits back up, suddenly fully alert with her arms crossed.

“You could have led with that.”

“I thought the weird, erratic behavior was more important!”

“As if I’d have a hard time believing that girl would have mood swings.” Piper’s grimace falters slightly as she rolls her eyes. “Like. Moonshine, that’s your type.”

“Shut up!”

Moon swats her. Piper chuckles briefly before her expression grows pained again.

She processes everything for a moment, groaning again and putting her face in her hand.

“Christ, girl,” she mumbles. “If this is real…yeah, that’s a pretty big fuckup. I’m not the biggest Yasmine fan, but yeesh.”

“I know.” Moon makes a face. “Trust me, I never meant to mess with her mind like that, but—”

“—you were hurting so much that you did anyway.”

“…more or less. I think, deep down, I didn’t believe anything would happen. It was to make me feel better in the moment.”

“Yeah, I know you.” Piper looks up, offering her a small smile. “I think you’d have an easier time permanently giving up smoothies than intentionally hurting someone.”

“I just feel so awful!” Moon wails, guilt bubbling up and erupting out of her like a volcano. “I know Yasmine hasn’t been the best person, but she should be able to at least choose who she loves. Even if that’s never going to be me.”

“So…did you come here so I could make you feel better?” Piper scrutinizes her. “Because I won’t lie—I’m kind of at a loss right now.”

“I don’t know.” Moon sighs again. “I came here because you’re the only person I trust who I figured would like…entertain this whole thing. Anyone else would call me crazy.”

Because at the end of the day, Piper may be rough-edged and butch and intimidating, but she’s open-minded. She’s willing to hear anyone’s point of view, and tries to embrace every walk of life. And she’s never one to dismiss possibilities outright, no matter how absurd they sound. No matter how “weird” the people saying them are.

It’s part of what initially drew the two of them together. Well…that and acai bowls.

“Right. So you want solutions.”

It’s almost embarrassing how fast Piper deduces it.

“That…that would be great.”

Piper takes a long sip of her health smoothie, slurps echoing around the room.

“Seems like a proximity thing. You said she acts more lucid when she’s away from Demetri, right?”

“Right.”

“So make plans to hang out, get her alone, and snap her out of it.”

Moon bites her lip. “I’m, uh…not sure how.”

“Demetri makes her act like she’s not herself, so…” Piper shrugs. “Remind her who she really is.”

Moon chuckles hollowly.

“That’s the other thing. I don’t entirely dislike the person she’s become thanks to the…Demetri thing. She’s a lot nicer, for one. And less judgmental.”

Piper seems to be holding back laughter.

“So…you want Yasmine to be her true self and get her free will back and all, but you’re worried that when she does…she’ll be someone you and everyone else will personally find less palatable?”

Moon glowers at her. “Well, when you say it like that, it sounds bad!”

A snicker finally worms its way out.

“Yeah, because it’s an incredibly shady thing to say.”

“You know that’s not what I meant.” Moon huffs. “Look, isn’t there some way to undo the spell without undoing her growth? Because like…in a weird way, I feel like she has grown as a person since she got magicked into being obsessed with Demetri. Is that bad?”

“Not necessarily, but you’re being awfully picky for someone who doesn’t even know if or how they can reverse their own paranormal fuck-up.”

“I thought you might know of a way to do some kind of partial reversal. Make her stop being crazy about Demetri, but keep some of the good ways she’s changed?”

“Sooooo.” Piper slurps more of her smoothie, expression growing insufferably smug. “Considering that fucking around with the nuance of this already-opaque-sounding spell is an objectively terrible idea…the way I see it, you have two options. You can break the spell and let Yasmine be whoever she wants, even if it’s someone who kind of sucks. Or you can leave her to be this weird enigmatic love curse’s braindead meat puppet for the rest of her days—with the perk that she’s more pleasant to be around. So what’s it gonna be, Moonshine?”

“But surely there’s some way to—”

“Uh-uh.” Piper cuts her off. “Look, I don’t know any more about this stuff than you do, but I doubt we’re talking about a spectrum here. Can’t have your cake and eat it too and all that. Either we lift the curse, or we don’t, so…what do you want to do?”

After a long moment, Moon sighs.

“I want Yasmine to be free.”

“So you need to do what I said. Remind her who she really is.”

“Even if…‘who she really is’ turns out to be mean and self-centered and kind of awful?”

“Eeyup. That’s Yasmine. Take her or leave her.”

“Even if it undoes all her personal growth from the last year?”

“That’s the conundrum, isn’t it?” Piper leans nonchalantly against the back of the couch, arm on the headboard. “We don’t know how much of that was the spell, and how much was the real Yasmine wanting to improve herself. So we gotta let the real Yasmine out and hope for the best, yeah?”

Moon looks down at her lap and smiles, shaking her head. “People won’t be too thrilled to have her back.”

“Then that’s going to be her problem, not yours. If you’re such a bitch that you need magic intervention to make you tolerable, then maybe you deserve to lose all your friends.”

It sounds harsh, but Moon can’t argue.

“Hey, c’mon.” Piper scoots over, playfully nudging Moon’s side. “I know how much you cared about her. That’s why it felt like your world was ending when she cut you off. And why you were still hung up on her while we were together. So there must’ve been something in there you thought was worth fighting for.”

And of course there was.

Because this was Yasmine. The same Yasmine who danced like a dork and smiled with dimples as soon as no one was watching. The same Yasmine who yanked Moon into every single one of her snapchat stories, no matter how mundane. The same Yasmine who didn’t think twice about defending Moon’s honor when she thought Sam was talking shit, and told Sam to get the hell out of Moon’s Benz.

The same Yasmine who talked about her and Moon as a single intertwined unit. Unfathomable to her as something that would ever split, until that fateful night on the beach. The same Yasmine who trusted that wherever one of them went, the other would follow.

Sure, there was plenty about her that was cruel and vindictive and conceited. And she’d spent her time at West Valley High so drunk on her own power that she kept digging herself a deeper and deeper grave, earning the hatred of most of her classmates. Good looks could only got you so far when you leaked poison and bile from every pore in your body.

But who is Moon to decide which traits Yasmine gets to keep, and which are magicked away? Who is Moon to remold Yasmine into a watered-down, docile amalgamation of what had once been her assets, when not so long ago, Moon fell in love with the entire picture?

And now Yasmine’s a hollowed-out shell of a person, all empty smiles and lifeless giggles. A painting cobbled together by some computer program—beautiful and polished and splendid on the surface, but a closer look reveals the details are all off.

A closer look reveals something without a soul, no light behind those sharp gray-green eyes.

“Fuck,” Moon says miserably, head sliding into her hands. “I want my best friend back.”

“So go get her back, then.” Piper nudges her again. “And maybe go easy on the evil curses this time? I don’t know, just a suggestion.”

“Oh, stop.” Moon scoffs, but there’s no real venom in it.

Piper rolls her eyes, although not unfondly.

“I wish I’d known you back then.” She laughs, shaking her head. “I could’ve told you from the jump that fucking with the occult was a bad idea. Yes, even when a girl breaks your heart. Which, in my opinion, is the highest and most profound type of pain.”

“Naturally.”

Moon sighs wearily, smile fading.

“I don’t know if anyone could’ve stopped me, honestly. When she—when she broke what we had, it was like I’d fallen into some rushing river and I could barely keep my head up. And I was headed right for one of those tall waterfalls with sharp rocks at the bottom from adventure movies. For whatever reason, lashing out felt like the only way to get a breath of air.”

Piper hums thoughtfully.

“I will say that this all makes me feel better about how I reacted the first time someone rejected me. I liked this girl Lila in the sixth grade, and when she found out, she called me a fat ugly dyke in front of all her friends. So I filled her locker with sweaty gym clothes.”

Moon wrinkles her nose as Piper cackles. “Ew, Pipes! You’re disgusting!”

“Okay, but I don’t summon Satan to make my crush want to fuck a gay guy senseless.”

“I did not summon Satan—”

“Sorry, Satan’s right-hand man Joe the Sexual Orientation Confuser.”

“Imagine if there were demons that actually did that.” The concept is admittedly intriguing. “They get sent up from the underworld or wherever solely to make cosmically cursed straights fall in love with cosmically cursed gays. And cosmically cursed gays fall in love with cosmically cursed straights.”

“Shit.” Piper grimaces again. “Wonder what I did to piss Joe off.”

“You’ve really liked that many straight girls?” Moon has to giggle.

“You have no idea,” Piper mumbles. “And trust me—your ex wasn’t the first guy to assume I played for the other team.”

“Not sure his heart was in that one. I think he wanted get a rise out of me, honestly. No offense.”

“Oh my god. The sheer irony.”

“He really thought I’d get jealous of my own girlfriend. As if there’s any girl I’d care about my unserious two-month fling hitting on.”

And then they’re both laughing, swaying on the couch and clutching at one another to keep from toppling over.

“Hi, I’m your run-of-the-mill punk poser and I think I get more ass than a proctologist!” Piper grabs the couch arm, attempting to do dramatic poses as she talks. “I know you’re frantic to have me back, even though my only skills are yelling and punching my friends for no reason!”

“Stoooop.” Despite herself, Moon only laughs harder. It’s probably just the edible finally kicking in. “You’re so rude!”

“Like your ex even knows how not to be an inappropriate, boundary-crossing weirdo.”

“He’s getting better!”

“Because he’s finally learning after his 7th attempt that asking a girl you just met to fondle your gelled-up hairdo isn’t going to wield results.”

“He wouldn’t—”

“He totally would, though!”

Moon snickers, shaking her head.

“Fine, yeah. He would.”

As the laughter dies down, Piper’s phone buzzes. She picks it up, frowning as she reads a text on her home screen.

“Hey, I gotta run soon. One of the kids from the dojo is hosting pizza night.”

“Oh, right. How’s that going?”

It’s amusing, really, how easy it is to forget Piper’s in Cobra Kai now. If the dojo’s truly the all-powerful, all-corrupting force Eli claims, then Moon’s ex-girlfriend must be entirely immune. Even if she and Piper haven’t spoken in a while, Moon hasn’t seen any evidence whatsoever of Piper caving to some kind of deeply-buried inner asshole.

Not that it was buried too deep, in Eli’s case.

“It’s fun. Good exercise during the gymnastics off-season.” Piper shrugs. “Some of the people in my class take it way too seriously, though. Like it’s high school karate, not the fucking Cuban missile crisis!”

“Yeah, that’s what I’ve heard.” Moon makes a face. “I was…kind of worried for you when I heard you joined. They treat it like a cult.”

“Oh, please.” Piper scoffs. “Like I’d ever buy into those sorts of stupid dramatics. I mean, don’t get me wrong—it can be fun to spar with people who’re so intense about it that they act like their fucking life is on the line. Makes things interesting. But I’m mostly there for the free shit.”

“Really?” Moon cocks an eyebrow. “You always seem so excited on your snapchats.”

“Yeah, like, it’s good energy. Everyone’s super passionate. But it gets to be a little much sometimes, you know? The senseis treat it like this huge life-or-death thing. Like sure, placing in a global tournament would be cool, but it’s not that big a deal? And sometimes I wonder how much my teammates are actually, like, enjoying themselves, and how much they’re stressing over nothing.” Piper purses her lips disdainfully. “Honestly? I’m going to rack up as much free equipment as I can, and then I’m gonna ditch them for Topanga or something. They seem way more chill.”

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Moon frowns. “I know they can go psycho when someone quits. Look what happened to Hawk.”

“Any of those bitches come at me with a razor and I’ll beat their ass into next week.” Piper rolls her eyes, unfazed.  “And what the hell are the senseis going to do? Call the cops on me for quitting their dojo? They’ll get laughed off the phone.”

“Just…be careful. I don’t want Cobra Kai hurting anyone else I care about.”

Before she can stop herself, she reaches out and squeezes Piper’s hand. The other girl turns and fixes her with a pale green gaze, expression unreadable.

“Okay,” she says quietly, tone turning serious.

Piper’s phone buzzes again, and the moment ends.

“Damn,” she mutters, glancing at her texts. “I forgot I said I’d bring jaeger bombs. I’d better get ready.”

“Oh, sorry.” Moon pulls away, embarrassed. “I don’t mean to take up too much of your time.”

“Don’t worry about it. I hope I could help.”

They stand up, and Piper starts to walk her out. Moon stares at the floor, suddenly feeling anxious again.

She stops right before they reach the front door. “What you said to do with Yasmine…what if it doesn’t work?”

“You better hope it does, because otherwise you’re going to have to consult the dark web or something. And then you’ll have to wade through about 70 sites with the most degenerate porn you’ve ever seen before finding anything useful.”

Moon laughs, tension easing.

“I guess I’ll deal with that when it happens. Or if.”

“Exactly. One thing at a time.”

“Well…I’ll let you go.” Moon offers Piper one last smile, opening the front door. “Have fun at your pizza party, okay?”

She’s halfway onto the porch when Piper catches her wrist, pulling her back.

“Hey, Moonshine…”

She turns. “Yeah?”

“I meant what I said before.” Piper bites her lip, meeting Moon’s eyes nervously. “About, um…if you sort through this whole Yasmine thing, and you ever decide you want to try again…all you have to do is ask.”

The surprise on Moon’s face must throw her for a loop.

“I mean, I’m not saying I’m going to sit on my ass waiting around,” she amends quickly, grip loosening. “I can’t promise I won’t move on. And I’m not, like, some piney mess who’s got nothing better to do than try and ‘win you back’ or whatever. But if you’re ever feeling it, and Yasmine’s not an issue anymore…just ask. The worst I’ll do is say no.”

And before Moon knows what she’s doing, she steps back inside and wraps Piper in a tight hug.

“Thank you,” she murmurs into the thick, bushy hair she remembers loving so much. “For helping. You didn’t have to, and I appreciate it.”

“I know.” Slowly but surely, Piper hugs her back. “But someone has to check you before you cause some domino effect that sends half the school into a sexuality crisis.”

***

Some author's notes, in no particular order:

I will literally die on the hill that Demetri is a bad boyfriend. All he's ever done IN CANON has been to objectify and generally be gross with Yasmine??? And the lead up to the whole icky "sexual venn diagram" comment was basically "hey, you should settle for me because I'm popular now and everyone thinks you're a laughingstock <3" Like wow! What a great way to treat the girl you're supposed to be "101% in love with"! And in S4 onwards he doesn't appear to know jack shit ABOUT her and just puts her on this pedestal as his "dream girl" while never actually mentioning anything about her personality.

I'm honestly not surprised that the natural progression of their relationship in S5 was (most likely) Yasmine getting fed up with Demetri not giving any visible shits about who she is as a person, and getting into fights with him the second she starts asserting her own wants and needs outside of him. And of course he gets her shallow jewelry gifts to placate her, which is just further proof he doesn't know her at all--it reads like he just saw on the internet that "girls like jewelry." And it's not like it actually solves anything, considering he's gotten her so many apology gifts that she can "barely lift her arm"! Tbh it pisses me off to not end that people whine and bitch about Demetri being a "bad friend" (which is so easily disproved it's not even funny) and don't make a peep about the gross way he treats his own fucking canon love interest. Please roast my trash son Demetri Alexopoulos for the RIGHT reasons!!!

I really did my damndest to keep Yasmine as canon-compliant as possible here. I do think she and Moon messed around in S1 and no one will ever be able to convince me otherwise, but I tried to keep everything we see of her here consistent with how she acts onscreen in seasons 1, 3, and 5. Season 4 is the obvious odd man out, which...needless to say is kinda the point XD But you take S4 out of the mix and accept some weird fluke was going on that was making her act that way, and we get something semi-plausible to work with! Hopefully she comes across as in-character (from what little we see of her!) here.

Also she does not love it when Demetri talks nerdy. Aisha and Sam's S1 salt conversation proves that she is not about it when people talk about nerdy school-related shit that reads like an inside joke she can't get in on (which applies to...most school-related things, considering she's shown to be kind of book dumb). She loves when Demetri gets her good grades, but she doesn't like. Have any inherent interest in school-related "nerdy" things??? And has never been shown to??? "Character development" shouldn't come out of nowhere and involve characters randomly getting into things they have never been shown to be drawn to actually!

I also hope I did an okay job writing Piper here! I wish I could write more MoonPiper, but we get!!! So ANNOYINGLY little of them and of Piper in general??? Like seriously, I went back and rewatched all the Piper scenes in the show, and there's like. Maybe 5 or 6 in THE WHOLE SHOW??? I barely have anything to work with and it is AGGRAVATING because I really love Piper and MoonPiper as a ship!!! And I want to do it justice that isn't just me projecting my own headcanons and theories because I don't know what else to do!!!

I really do think Piper is Not As Invested in Cobra Kai as everyone else though, lmao. Like she is there for shits and giggles, and also free merch. She respects herself too much to become a slave to the "cobra kai for life" bullshit lol

It IS incredibly funny to me that Moon gets more homoerotic scenes with her Super Totally Straight Best Friend than with the girl who was canonically her girlfriend. Like I love both ships, I really do, but when they give Yas and Moon SO many fruity scenes while their boyfriends are also being fruity, what did they EXPECT!!! Of COURSE I'm going to write YasMoon like my life depends on it!!!

Also, Moon saw that nacho nonsense with Hawk and Demetri in S2. She saw Hawk yank Demetri onstage during Valley Fest. She saw Hawk get all snippy about Demetri hitting on girls at the beach. She saw Hawk throw a hissy fit because his boyfriend bestie wouldn't join his evil dojo. She damn well knows they're gay!

And so does Piper ajadhskufbhd these girls weren't born yesterday!

Hoping to get this entire fic up on AO3 sometime in November! :3

[hp-fruit-fest]

Another month down of fruity excellence, and the last of the year! We'll be back Spring 2024, but in the meantime, check out all the yummy goodies provided for us in June (and check back soon for a full fest roundup!)

FIC. Harry/Fred. Rated: G. Words: 209. Postwar. Fred lives.

Harry has to bake a cherry pie. Fred loves cherries

🍒 Read on AO3 🍒

FIC. Barty/Evan. Rated: T. Words: 6,098. Poetry. Psychopaths in love. Pureblood society. Ambiguous ending. English & French version.

The Rosier family organizes a ball. A late guest joins in. Between cherry flowers and the cherry fruit, reason and madness, duty and desire, Evan has to make a choice, which will reveal his true intentions and feelings. ------------------------------------------------------------ La famille Rosier organise un bal. Un invité de dernière minute s'y joint. Entre les fleurs et la cerise, la raison et la folie, le devoir et le désir, Evan doit faire un choix, qui révèlera ses véritables sentiments et intentions.

🍒 Read on AO3 🍒

FIC. Harry & Fred. Rated: G. Words: 187. Female Harry Potter. Pre-GoF.

Harry just wanted to study charms and eat her peach

�� Read on AO3 🍑

FIC. Draco/Harry. Postwar. France. Vineyards. Destitute Draco.

The thick, wooden door, held together with ancient iron straps, swung open with surprisingly little noise on well-maintained hinges despite its age and size. The absolute last person Draco could have ever expected stared at him in a subdued, frozen kind of horror once it was open. “No,” Harry Potter said evenly and calmly, as if Draco had asked him if he was supposed to be alive. “How?” Draco choked on the question so it left his mouth as little more than breath. “No!” Potter shouted as his hands flailed back and forth in desperate negation before diving into the bedlam of black hair, like they sought shelter from the moment. “‘Arry?” a feminine and heavily French voice called out. “Is it ‘im?” “Yes!” the presumed dead man in question shouted too loudly, as if he could no longer control his own volume. “But no, he won’t- we couldn’t- I-” A woman maybe just a bit past her middle age came up behind him as he stammered. Draco continued to stare. He couldn’t even sneer; he was shocked to his core. His chest held onto his surprise like a barely contained explosion. Harry Potter wasn’t dead. It felt like it should change everything, yet they remained staring at each other as if nothing ever would.

🍷 Read on AO3 🍷

FIC. Severus/Sirius. Rated: E. Words: 800. Postwar. Healing. "Strawberry Fields Forever."

Sirius debated going into the office, since he figured they were done for the day, when Severus came back with a bowl of strawberries in hand. Severus held a paring knife. "They're from my garden," he said as he sliced a strawberry into small pieces, juices sliding down his fingers and onto his arms, and held a slice out.

🍓 Read on AO3 🍓

FIC. Draco/Hermione. Rated: M. Words: 4,152. Religious inspiration. Biblical references. Lucius as God. Draco as Satan. Harry as Adam. Hermione as Eve. Deception. Porn With Plot.

Draco, bored with exile from Heaven and curious about the woman his father made from Harry's own rib, slides into the Garden of Eden with one goal in mind: to make Hermione eat the pomegranate from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, and ruin her for his own enjoyment. Instead, he finds himself losing a lot more than he bargained for.

🫙 Read on AO3 🫙

FIC. Gen. Alice/Frank. Hannah/Neville. Rated: G. Words: 449. Marauder's Era & Lightning Era. Love & Friendship.

There is only a reason they fight. To be free of laugh, cry, play, run, and be alive.

🍉 Read on AO3 🍉

FIC. Harry/Tom. Rated: T. Words: 411. Tom Riddle's Diary. Chamber of Secrets. Implied/Referenced Character Death.

Tom Riddle had managed to retrieve the body from the diary. Now, he wanted Harry on his side

🫙 Read on AO3 🫙

FIC. Harry/Severus. Rated: M. Words: 339. Blood kink. Knifeplay. Food play.

Severus laid bare on the white bedsheets. He was on his back, and the cold ceramic plate rested on his stomach. "It has been a good year," said Harry. He had a paring knife in hand as he sliced the mangoes before setting them on the plate.

🥭 Read on AO3 🥭

FIC. Harry/Terrence. Rated: T. Words: 6,530. 5+1 Things. Dating. Fluff. Farmer's Market.

5 times Terence and Harry were interrupted in the middle of a date and 1 time they weren’t.

🧺 Read on AO3 🧺

FIC. Charlie/Harry/Oliver. Rated: T. Words: 5,033. Fluff & angst. Breaking Up & Making Up. Time skips. POV Oliver. Minor Marcus/Oliver.

Charlie Weasley felt like summer and smelled like watermelon. Harry Potter felt like winter and smelled like pomegranate. Together, they felt like spring and smelled like home.

🫐 Read on AO3 🫐

FIC. Harry/Severus. Rated: E. Words: 3,469. Mpreg. Fluff & angst.

Severus' life is ruined.

☀️ Read on AO3 ☀️

ART. Draco/Harry. Rated: M. Digital art. NSFW art.

HP Fruit Fest 2023 Entry for "Lemon"

🍋 View on AO3 🍋

FIC. Harry/Severus. Rated: E. Words: 383. Blood kink. Knifeplay. Food play.

The ceramic plate smashed against the hardwood floor. Harry paused his movements — the mango half peeled in his hands. He placed the fruit — all its juices and flesh — onto the soiled bed sheets. “You shouldn’t have done that. What a waste.”

🥭 Read on AO3 🥭

ART. Ginny/Pansy. Rated: M. Digital art. Partial nudity. One night stand. Sensuality.

It only takes takes a single day for Pansy and Ginny to give each other something better.

🥝 View on AO3 🥝

FIC. Draco/Harry. Rated: T. Words: 16,774. Unspeakable Draco. Lost souls. First love.

Draco struggles with infertility and hopes to find the answer in a magical fig tree. His journey takes him to Aydin Turkey, where he meets another lost soul named Harry.

🫙 Read on AO3 🫙

FIC & ART. Hannah/Neville. Hermione/Pansy. Rated: G. Words: 699. Businesswoman Pansy. Minister Hermione. Cherry trees. POV Outsider. Engagement.

Pansy is seen doing ordinary things, tasting cherries! Neville is a witness. Hannah is right there. But, it's all because of Hermione.

🍒 Read on AO3 🍒

FIC. Harry/Draco. Rated: T. Words: 3,062. Postwar. Baking. Romance. Established relationship.

Baking is an unexpected hobby that Harry fell into a little over a year ago, nearly a decade after the war ended.

🍓 Read on AO3 🍓

FIC. Harry & Severus. Rated: G. Words: 2,666. Severitus. Domestic Fluff. Sprinkle of Angst. Past Child Abuse. Eating Disorder. Hopeful Ending. KidFic.

After having been rescued from the Dursleys, Harry continues to struggle with eating; and Severus struggles with watching Harry struggle - until a pomelo comes along.

🌱 Read on AO3 🌱

[tobiasdrake]

Here we go with Bamboo Creek.

Literally the only thing Luana knew about this place is that it had a weird statue and a Rainbow Conch. She wrote about her disappointment in never getting to do anything with the statue.

Perhaps this will be a mystery for me to solve!

Sure is pretty, though. If you ignore the turtle demons who want to chew my butt off, but I think we can all take that as a given.

I WILL.

...

Wait, hold on, what did you say? This place is... a... VA-CA-TION!?!? FUCK YES, I'm gonna go spend it with my best pal!

QUARBLE! Look at all this lush greenery! Isn't this place magical?

Man, so much has happened since last I saw you. I successfully completed my voluntary side quest and met a necromancer! Not the necromancer I thought I was meeting but a necromancer all the same. I think we're besties now. Just like Luana and Roro. I dunno, we haven't made plans to hang out but I'm sure he won't mind if I drop in sometime.

Hehe. Drop in. Oh, I am not going to explain to you why that's funny. That is a secret that I take with my to my grave.

...hehe. To my grave. Oh, bestie, we make our own fun!

"I have many regrets about not letting you die."

Ambiguous shopkeeper who I might be legally prohibited from liking, I wanted you to meet my best friend! He's coming with me on my vacation. It's great-- Oh, he left. Probably to go get drinks. ^_^

Anyways, I, uh... I had questions about the Time Shards.

Absolutely. 100%. Was that not clear with the Power Seal fiasco? I broke another one of those, by the way.

Did you create them? Because Luana said Resh'an made them but she was kind of busy bending time and space by sheer power of her own awesomeness so she could rescue the legendary Warrior Cook. At least, that's how she described it. So she didn't get to overhear much.

But if you created the Time Shards then that would confirm whether or not I'm obligated to call you an 'assclown'.

*whine* But I need to know if I'm allowed to peruse your wa~ares!

*sigh*

why are you being difficult about this ._.

...

Anyways, I'll take another upgrade, thanks. These are super helpful.

He's across the pit. Ugh, that is fiendish. I can't hit him from over here, but if I try and make the jump and I fail....

Nah, fuck it. I'm a Lunar Ninja. I'm a bad enough dude to--

Why. Why is my recklessness always punished T-T

Hi, Quarble. Nice to see you again. Did you bring the drin-- You have no drinks in hand. Okay. That's disappointing.

Well, I enjoy your company nonetheless.

Maybe you can help me brainstorm this. He's across. The pit. If I fall in the pit, that's a one-way ticket to hanging out with you. Which is fine, I love hanging out with you, but it doesn't get me any deeper into Bamboo Creek.

So if I can't time this jump precisely, then I'm screwed. This is tactically brilliant. There's just... No options for me to--

...

We never speak of this again. This will be our secret. Forever.

Aha! A true warrior for me to test my steel against. I should warn you; My speed and skill is highly reputed among the, uh, turtles. The turtles are very impressed by how fast I am.

...please ignore how lame that sounds when I say it out loud.

ANYWAYS

A duel! Two rival masters squaring off to--

OW! YOU COCK! A lucky shot, but I will--

BALLS!

PROTRUDING MAN PARTS!

BUT WHY THO. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING? WHO EVEN ARE YOU!?

...okay, bye. ._. Thank you for the brand new flesh wounds. I will treasure them dearly.

I just want it on record that he quit, which means I win by default.

Just another proud W to add to my ever-growing roster of glorious triumphs.

[politelymenacing]

If they're not doing a reboot where they're married, and Henry gets to live happily in England with his two dads and go to a better school than he could go to Kansas???? then why are they showing us this?

APPLE TV EXPLAIN!!

Is that not what happened....?

Must've just been in my head, damn. 😛

OK. Here is my pitch to Apple to make it happen (because is just makes sense):

Why do the bit about Henry acting out and bullying a kid?

Why have Henry failing science (scandal!)?

To me, that should have nudged them in the direction of 'maybe he would be better at a new school in England?' rather than 'he'll be fine just as soon as Ted returns to Kansas'.

Then we have the whole Dr. Jacob of it all... they were clearly hinting at his and Michelle's relationship breaking down (thank god. I can't even go into how much that angered me). To me, that was freeing her of her ties to Kansas so she could move with Henry to England. But instead they just kind of maybe left it a bit ambiguous. Are we supposed to believe that Ted and Michelle would ever get back together? Because no.

Also, it was clear that Henry didn't really like him and would benefit from being closer to his Uncle Beard (ugh that bit outside of the pub with them two absolutely got me 😭)

There's also Dottie. Now, I will admit that that episode fucked me up a little (yay, mums...), so I have only rewatched it once, but if I were Ted her attempt at manipulation would have just made me want to get Henry away from her, so even more reason to bring him to England.

Now Ted:

He's doing better. Ok, not amazing, but he is getting regualr thearapy and he can control his panic attacks

He knows the offside rule. He (re)invents Total Football. He is finally understanding the sport he came over to coach.

He is starting to use British terminology for things! He's acclimatised! Honestly, if he'd been there any longer, he'd have been drinking tea.

They specifically show him interacting with his neighbours and the community.

And then you tear him away from all of that. It is beyond cruel.

Also, even though Sassy was not right for him at all, he was maybe starting to show that he could move on from Michelle and let someone else into his life. (I do not have enough time to lay out the Bi Ted agenda, I'm sure people have done excellent metas about it, but let's just say the Bi Triangles will haunt me forever.)

Which leads us to Trent.

I am definitely missing things because I'm just rattling this off the top of my head, but:

Are we just going to forget that Trent got fired for Ted? And then following his bliss lead him straight to Richmond to write a love letter book about Ted.

What was the whole thing about the right idea just sitting behind a couple of the wrong ones?? In the red string of fate episode, no less!

Whatever was going in during Girl Talk with Rebecca.

Why did Ted tell Henry that it was "good to have people in your life that are excited to be around you" literally the episode after Trent was SO EXCITED about Total Football and how Ted got them there. Like. Seriously.

TRENT’S LITTLE FINGER STICKING OUT IN THE RED STRING OF FATE BIT THAT WAS POINTING DIRECTLY TO THE RED STRIPES ON TED'S JACKET ahem.

Trenthouse magazine. TRENTHOUSE MAGAZINE.

The Robert Redford/Dustin Hoffman thing. Followed by a sodding wink.

And then there's the fact they are both middle aged single dads who have so much baggage. They get one another.

Finally. Because this is turning into a bloody essay. The ending. Ted was FOR SURE asleep and dreaming at the end. I don't give a fuck what Brendan said.

You can't get that close to Stonehenge, it all looked too fake, there's no way Ted wouldn't be there, Jane needs to get in the bin.

How did Sam manage to get into the Nigerian team? (Don't get me wrong, I desperately wanted that for him, but it seemed like it was never going to happen??)

Ted thinks Trent will agree to change the book's title, and even dreams up someone he knows (Shannon) to get a copy singed.

OH AND THE GLASSES. Trent has new glasses. Why? Because Ted doesn't want to imagine him with the ones from before because the first thing he said to Trent was a compliment about the glasses.

Basically, what I'm saying. Is that that is what makes most sense from the ending. HOWEVER, Apple TV, if you are convinced it was all real, here are some ways you can keep that ending (more or less) and still have the Romcommunism ending we deserved that will lead to you picking up this reboot idea:

Ted goes back, gets a final copy of The Richmond Way, the dedication says something about how Trent changed the title because he asked, but it was always about Ted, of course it was. Ted realises his huge mistake. (Maybe he goes to rush to the airport, only to find Trent standing outside his door.)

Trent didn't say goodbye to Ted because he was already on a flight to Kansas to wait for him with a sign that says 'Coach Lasso from England". (OK, this doesn't quite fit with the ending, but you know it's a cute AF idea so shhh)

Trent is singing copies of his book and asks who it's for without looking up and just here's Ted say his name.

In all these scenarios someone says "Is this a fucking joke?" END.

And now you are ready to start your spin off/reboot/series 4 with the footage of Jason and Jimmy at the Emmys. You're welcome.

You can have all of these ideas for free (plus whatever other headcanons you get out of me), Apple TV, if you let me play one of the minimal acting required background players in the AFC Richmond Women's team (Because that is a part of the finale i can get behind and I have credentials if you need to verify I can actually play)

[cakejerry]

asks pt.2 more recent ones

ft fanfiction anon, minho is ugly, thank you minjoon people for the links and fic recs!!! and the anon with the random jikook takes

ive been debating answering this one, like... yeah, obviously. but no jimin hate is allowed on this blog so youre getting blocked

idk, ive also been thinking about posting this but... i don't have any thoughts. except that this just proves how close they are, in any sense. and yes that was literally a joke we don't actually think their parents were involved, cmon. 'meds exist' cmon. 'suicide everyday' yeah you're a troll never message me again, goodbye.

this is why i can never take any of those charts seriously, they all say something different and everybody's #1 somewhere. its literally all imaginary and extremely unimportant. and instead of frauding jimin, which would have gotten him nothing but hate, i wish instead they'd left jungkook alone so we could see who ACTUALLY has what it takes

i have literally never understood the hype around jungkook. but maybe thats because he only started glowing up around 2019, which is when most of these taekookers came to the fandom, lol. but your last sentence was funny, 10/10

jimin should have always been the center of that triangle. vmin vs jikook i would like to see it. the classic main drama lead thats semi toxic and interesting and the second lead who's the best friend and the better option but jimin chooses jungkook anyways lol

minjoon under the stars ahhh jimin is such a sweet little glazed donut that needs to be handled with utmost care

blocked. also that's because namjoon has the charisma of a tree. but jimin could have chemistry with a brick wall so suck it. minjoon forever

cute little fanfiction moment but i dont think it holds any water in real life terms, or means anything, honestly. but thank you for the links

here come the fanfiction writers. also that's the finger heart emoji for the curious minds my laptop is prehistoric. anyways. im not gonna grace this with any further comment.

sure

this is making me ctfu because its just a clip of jungkook dancing to 3d but anon is sooo disgusted ahahhahaha. bts were different??? different from what :joy emoji:. also, if you see this, elaborate on your last sentence please.

i literally dgaf he is so ugly and his bug eyes weird me out and im convinced kpop fans have a mass gaslight thing going on trying to convince me he's attractive. 2. jonghyun wouldnt work with jimin for several reasons i just brought him up because whenever im thinking about 'men in the industry who aren't shit' he's the only one who comes up. 3. love that you just fully spiraled into waxing poetic about jimins ass there. understandble.

sure

well yeah but specifically the tweets i was posting are so... racially motivated. whitewashed jimin=white=good=pure=innocence=bottom and top jungkook=rough=tough=raw=dirty=dark skin. like it was just so weird to me.

umm sure, whatever you say anon. im gonna forget all of what you told me now because i genuinely do not want to know.

yup this is the general consensus in cakejerryland

thank you for this rec actually!!!!!!!!! it looks scrumptious and WILL be posting my thoughts upon finishing!!!

thank you random citizen!!! omg idk if you knew i have a hyung kink or not but this is sooo not that. laugh emoji laugh emoji jimin is soooo cute he's a kiddo playing around!!! babyy

i respect the grind. i do not, however, respect him.

okayy anndddd... what do you want me to do about this?

yes he wants to be perceived as such. we agreed upon this when seven dropped. and idc and it doesnt matter to me because i dont expect any of bts to come out so they will all forever be ambiguously straight and theres no point to discussing it further

fanservice is in the job description. but you said it yourself. 'natural' dynamic. they're simply the closest and we can't deny this

umm sure. i didn't see anything special in those clips at all lol i was not gagged. they were just looking at each other and they do that every single time they're in public or on camera or on stage together

lol hawaii was ... a time. they were also "doing laundry," don't forget.

[evendumbo]

Man, just one more thing since I made the mistake of seeing how the conversation was going on twitter and elsewhere with the antis. It's not fun to see people call fans who rooted for a Ted and Rebecca romance crazy, strange, and obsessed. That's just fucking sexist and, maybe even more annoying to me, it's not good faith disagreement. I did not ship Ted and Rebecca throughout my first watch of both seasons one and two. I am generally not pressed by possible tv romances. The ship did not start in my imagination, it was initiated by the writers. It was not only a platonic soulmate story. It was a possible romantic soulmate set-up. I wish people would stop playing. If everyone can acknowledge that Nate eventually taking a turn for the worse was seeded all the way back in the season premiere, then we agree that the writing was deeply purposeful and likely seeded other things. In fact, after I finished the season 2 finale and rewatched seasons 1 and 2 together as a whole, it was the seeds of Nate's arc that I saw first. Then I began to realize the other narrative arcs that had been put into place and I marveled at the kind of work that the writing was doing. This is when I realized that the writing was communicating that Ted had a crush on Rebecca and only then, lo, a shipper was born.

Por ejemplo, I wish those who are saying that tedbecca was fabricated could explain why the Dutch guy had so many parallels with Ted. What would be the point of that? There are an infinite number of ways the writers could signal that he was a nice, goofy, caring guy. They didn't have to reference Kenny Rogers, they didn't have to make him cook for her, they didn't have to have Rebecca say "fuck me" after she consumed something he made, they didn't have to make the dress pink. If this were a regular show and Ted and Rebecca were regular platonic friends, none of this would have been (or at least should not have been) written. Imagine Leslie from Parks and Rec falling for a guy who is written to be exactly like her platonic friend, Ron. That would be weird, uncomfortable, and at least raise questions.

One could argue that, yes, Rebecca and Ted were soulmates but they had no romantic attraction, so the Dutch guy was supposed to be a Ted-shaped soulmate with romantic attraction. I'd counter with all kinds of things, but at least this would be a good faith argument because we can agree about what is clearly on the screen. We just disagree about the interpretation of the narrative. Nobody is "crazy" in this argument. It's fine if Hannah advocates for a purely platonic relationship between Ted and Rebecca, but it's not cool that she talked down to tedbecca fans who became excited about what was clearly on the screen like there was something wrong with us. The possibility of romance between Ted and Rebecca did not come out of thin air or some kind of heteronormative compulsion, it came from your show, girl. We didn't write it! If they were gonna get exasperated about people getting excited about a possible romance, then they shouldn't have written it and performed it like a possible romance.

As I said, it would have helped if we at least were given confirmation that Ted had a crush on Rebecca in season 3. If that had happened and everything else was the same, I would have been a little disappointed, but that would have been an ending that made sense to me, an ending that was bittersweet and cohered with everything else the show was expressing. I would have defended that ending forever. But without an actual reveal of at least Ted's feelings in the world of the show (not another pointless fake-out), I'm left feeling irritated or crazy-made or, as I said before, somewhat abandoned as a fan of the TL narrative style. And, at this point, until I let it go, I also dread the hanging possibility of TL's return. I've had enough ambiguity from these folks 😂. Just vaya con dios, friends. Adiooooos.

I love and respect television and I am deeply grateful to television writers. I have also acknowledged that Ted Lasso looks hella hard to write, so I am humbled by that. It had to reach a great height in order for me to be invested this hard. I am thankful for the show's lessons about faith and ethics and community and will try to take them to heart going forward. I honor the show, the fans, and the artists.

And, as far as people calling tedbecca fans crazy? As the woman said, fuck the haters. 💜

[livvyofthelake]

and the thing is that saltburn is really a very pretty movie. and emerald fennell does that very well i think. but i also think she maybe relies too much on aesthetics and presentation and "shock value", and less on actaul meaningful storytelling. she’s not bad, certainly there are worse filmmakers making more movies. i’m a feminist of course so i think she should keep making her shallow pretty little movies and i’ll keep watching them and then forgetting they exist and we can do that forever and no one will get hurt of course. she’s in no way untalented, but i just can’t see her having something like. true and beautiful to say with her movies. i watched promising young woman it also didn't really like. say anything. it was a very interesting ride to go on but it was ultimately just nothing, and i felt basically the same way about saltburn. i also saw someone on letterboxd trying to counter the opinion that the movie relied too much on shock value or whatever, and they were like "you're just disgusted by scenes like the bathtub scene and the grave scene and you're covering it up with the shock value critique!" and well. all i'll say in resonse to that is that frankly i think oliver slurping up two sips of felix's cum tainted bathwater was pretty tame actually. i think he should have given felix some fucked up drugs and then worn a dress and given him a blow job and saved some of his cum in a jar for voodoo purposes. but i guess that would have been really weird huh. so he just slurped up that bathwater. yeah ok. speaking of felix. his death really should have been more ambiguous i'm so serious. it should have been a lasting question for the viewer of whether he killed himself or oliver planned it. it was ALMOST like that and then it wasn't and i got really mad. same with venetia but i really think there would have been something more interesting to chew on if felix's death was left more open ended, i would have made ten posts about it if you would have gotten cool with it emerald. idk. keep in mind you’re reading the opinion of someone who gave red white and royal blue five stars. so. it’s not that serious

[anouri]

10 books to know me

thanks for the tag @fruity-individual < 33

i feel like this might be difficult bc i don't even know myself how am i supposed to tell y'all how to know me. nonetheless, here is a list lmao (also, i will be including poetry collections as books)

When I Grow Up I Want to Be a List of Further Possibilities by Chen Chen

queer child of abusive immigrant parents starter kit

A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara

i won't get into why or how this book would get you to know me. i just relate to jude a little bit bc he has very similar thought processes to me, okay shh don't worry about it...

Johannes Cabal the Necromancer by Jonathan L. Howard

to get to know my sense of humor

The Secret History by Donna Tartt

encapsulates the exact sort of genre i am obsessed with. i like books where you can't trust the narrator, you can't trust anything that you're being told. everything's morally ambiguous, just like the world we navigate. people are insular and obsessed with the idea of exuding a certain aura. you become obsessed with it too. there's a sort of a morbid curiosity regarding the life they live, and how that very morbid curiosity and pursuit of experience was what led to the characters' downfall. i like how richard papen paints himself to be an observer when he facilitates everything, a mistake i think real people can fall into, as well as the manner by which he was always self-sabotaging himself for the sake of maintaining a facade... i'm babbling. i love this book

The Trouble with Being Born by Emil Cioran

for those who want to see what sort of existential crises my mental illnesses afflict me with one the daily. like: "Who am I? which is my real self: the self of the retort or that of the refraining?” and “Everything exists; nothing exists. Either formula affords a like serenity. The man of anxiety, to his misfortune, remains between them, trembling and perplexed, forever at the mercy of a nuance, incapable of gaining a foothold in the security of being or in the absence of being.” yeah...

Crush by Richard Siken

unfulfilled hopes, mourning, and blood-soaked imagery... very dramatic but that's what goes on in my head, except i lack what he has in experiences, for me it's just daydreaming and projection, mourning what i have never had whilst he's mourning what he's lost

Nausea by Jean Paul-Sartre

the paradoxical and existential nature of the main character's thoughts is strikingly similar to mine (yes this is concerning). the realization that we can become so hyperaware of our own existence that we do not even feel as though we're a part of it, we become so observant we dissociate from the world completely, we hope for peaceful moments whilst also realizing these moments may not exist at all, or maybe they can only be appreciated in retrospect. and all these thoughts do is push you farther away from this peace that you yearn for in the first place, and this realization hits you harshly with a wave of existential nausea you can't explain

The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde

to understand the way i run away from certain facets of life only to be ruined by it

The Stranger by Albert Camus

this was my favorite book when i was 17 and i feel like that in and of itself should tell you a lot

Vicious/Vengeful by V.E. Schwab

for understanding how i'm always giving away parts of myself for science... and also for this quote: “attachment was a vexing thing, as pernicious as weeds. he should have left before it ever took root… ‘be careful,’ she said. what a nuisance, victor told himself, even as he rested his hand on her head.”

ok uh that was long

anyway

no pressure tags!! (and sorry if you've already been tagged and i didn't see it haha): @cornishpixiez @arakhnee @otrtbs @dykegore @messrsage @pjxckson

[bookwyrminspiration]

hi quil! got another question about sophie's parents since your answer to the last ask inspired me: do you think there might have been another option for william and emma after the events of Nightfall?

i don't really like how they were treated by the plot and had basically no way to deal with their trauma, considering that emotions can remain even after memories are Washed, and i have the (probably unsupported by plot) wish that they should have been allowed to choose whether they wanted to have their memories washed or to try to deal with all their trauma whilst keeping the Lost Cities a secret. I know Amy didn't get captured and tortured, but they gave her the choice to keep her memories and she was like twelve, so i feel like her parents should have been given the choice and were also better able to deal with it all.

(not to mention, i feel like it'd be easier to keep a secret as a family instead of Amy having to spend literally the rest of her life being unable to tell her parents about her secret sister)

Oh and a disclaimer, i haven't read nightfall in a hot minute so maybe i've forgotten some plot points!

Hello again! I don't think you've forgotten anything crucial, that was pretty much what happened. However, I don't think--and this is just my personal opinion and conclusions--there's really anything major that could be changed because of time constraints.

It was unfair to Emma and William on a number of levels, taken care of by others who presumed to know what was best for them when they hadn't been trusted with that responsibility by the two. But her human parents have already served their purpose in the story; they raised Sophie, gave a view of her human life, and they were left behind. We don't need more from them, and anything else that does involve them is going to be purely for the emotional, personal benefits of a select few characters.

It would be an intense, involved process for our main character, and most of all take time. And that time wouldn't connect to the rest of the plot and world. Her human parents aren't connected or involved in anything enough on any tangible level to make the massive diversion from the rest of the world worth it. We can't just take a break from the rest of the series, and trying to balance the two would just make it more difficult to write rather than choosing one or the other. You can only split your focus between so much, and the Fosters would want more time, I think.

If this was a real situation? Yeah, I do think there's better options that actually involve the Fosters, considering their input and dealing with the trauma they faced. Perhaps letting them keep the secret, finding some way to work out Sophie being between worlds, letting them know Sophie as she wants to know them, any number of things. But that doesn't happen overnight and there just isn't enough connection to everything else to justify taking that time out of the middle of the series; it's purely for their relationship and benefit--which is important, but just not enough.

I do think this is the kind of thing that could be postponed to the end of the series and then revisited though, because once all the big conflict is over, there's all the time in the world (provided Sophie/her family doesn't perish). We could have one of those ambiguous ending scenes where the Neverseen has been defeated, she's got herself a little sorted out, and she knocks on the door to her family's home and introduces herself or something.

They don't need to be completely eradicated from the story forever, but I think the time they'd take is most plausibly addressed after the series. I think it's a constraint of storytelling, and that if this were a real life situation then we could change it. But again! This is my personal opinion and how I think it would work/not work!

[promiseiwillwrite]

In the car the other day

I had apologized for something small, that didn't warrant an apology. something to do with timing and manners. I think I had done some things in a super illogical and completely inefficient manner on the way to the car, and it had taken a little longer than I wanted. My ability to plan steps, even simple ones can go out the window when I have stress.

But if you've been following along, you know that I have been going through some things.

He said, "You should maybe stop making reasons to feel bad."

Ooooh. And it was good advice. Too bad that is Literally impossible.

Today I learned about cognitive dissonance on Hidden Brain, from the Psychologist that Coined the Phrase.

There's a process of justification humans are wired to go through when they make decisions, especially moral ones, that we use to feel better about what actions we take, and the things we have decided.

When I first heard the notion of Moral OCD, I looked left and looked right and knew that all the angels in heaven were looking pointedly at me.

Which is funny if you know about the witchy stuff, and being raised in the bible belt, and all that.

But it's my fiercest, most prevalent, most disruptive symptom set, that colors my every day experience and occupies my mind for multiple hours each day.

I spend that time questioning whether or not I am bad. Whether or not a thought or decision is bad, or bad for me, or bad for the people around me. Whether or not my own motivations are questionable.

Sometimes I see it before I spiral. Sometimes I do not. Sometimes seeing it and catching it is not enough, especially when my justifications are insufficient given my moral models.

And my moral models keep falling apart in my hands. It is terrifying.

I have made a lot of progress, because I keep breaking the justifications on purpose.

But some things are Ambiguous. There's no right answer in my models that doesn't paint me into the "and the last step is where I suffer in silence and never speak of it again". which is literally the end goal in the maze my abusers decided was the best place to put me over and over.

And I literally speak of that shit ALL the fucking time here, in my little swamp, where no one gives a shit. I can play patty cake at my pity party all day if I want.

But my model is changing.

And that End is no longer acceptable.

But when Everything in my mind Leads there, I find myself there anyway, except wailing on the moors.

Trying to gnaw through the wall of the maze.

Knowing that "ME SUFFERING IN SILENCE" is ALSO BAD.

It's just a New kind of bad that is uncomfortable.

My heart and mind cannot refute this.

But they Still give me as Many Justifications As I can swallow to not have to look at this. To avoid Saying the disruptive thing. To avoid doing anything about it.

I say "NO." to myself a lot.

In that manner you use to address a partially trained dog that is Thinking about getting up on the couch again, after having been repeatedly told Not to get up on the couch. And you are watching them, And they are watching you watch them, And They know you no, and will say no if they try, but they Really want to do it anyway. And they know it makes them Bad, even if they DIDN'T get on the couch. (but they won't get swatted for it.) So I am both the unscolded, resentful puppy that thinks mom is mean and not fair, and also the angry mean mom that has to reinforce the boundary over and over to the point where you wonder if it's even worth it.

I guess that's really the goal forever. It's fine as long as I am bad. Then it doesn't matter whether or not I suffer, whether or not I have needs met, or get what I want.

Except now, there is no comforting resignation that used to come when I just accepted the suffering and the silence. There's only this chicken with it's head off prod of electricity from my fucking super-ego telling me that I Don't get to be bad, because being Bad is now not acceptable!

Fuck this brain. It is so mean.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hi, dear Steph, i hope you doing well ❤️ it's sensitive topic, so take your time to respond

so, i'm trying my best to deal with bbc sh after 5 years, and I really think that we will have an s5 in the near future, they have given a lot hits about, (BC finally talking about a new season, the free copyright party 2023...)

So, my biggest problem with the s4 is the morgue scene, and i've been reading some s4 fix-its that properly deal with john's behavior. I read some about Sherlock leaving/moving on after what happened (my favorites I must say, cause I can't forgive john) (+ sanjay my beloved)

And I ended up in a category of "dark john", and I'm sure some traumatized me forever

I read this fic, post s3, where j&s has an established relationship post mary, and their relationship starts to change to something abusive (on john's part), this fic is amazing, honest and realistic about abusive relationships, and well the ending is tragic for johnlock, with an happy ending only for sherlock.

Then I saw that the fic was from 2015???? And that left me shocked, cause... john's behavior was always like this? Should we have realized sooner what was going to happen?? And that just made me hate the show even more. And looking back, maybe it was always there, especially after the fall. At least me, I never really gotten my head around the violence scenes, and I took the morgue scene as something OOC from John, but now I don't think it was. It makes me so sad.

I wanted to know if there are any metas and analysis about john's behavior in the show, because WATSON would never do something like that. I hate this show with all my heart at this point, It's ruined me :(

Thanks, all love to you and your amazing work as the Oracle of this fandom ❤️

Hey Lovely!

Thanks! I appreciate you letting me take time to answer this. Not necessarily anything other than "lol it was long and I was lazy" hahaha.

ANYWAY, this is just my perception of the fandom before S4: No, John wasn't overtly portrayed as a "dark" character... I think the darkest the majority thought of him as was as just a man with anger issues he was working on. That said, regardless of fandom, there's ALWAY ALWAYS a "dark" genre of fics where one or the other "protagonists" are characterized as "morally ambiguous to downright evil" people, and that's all it is. Dark Sherlock and John fics were a popular subgenre once upon a time, but I've never personally read any of them because I have a hard time with fics if the characterizations are "off" from my readings of them (literally it's just me), but I have no problem if that's what someone else wants to write about.

As for meta, the closest I can do for you are these meta about who John is as a character, and you can check out my 'who is john watson' blog tag for more (I've put it under the Chrono tag so you can see the earliest posts first).

(sorry that “my posts” is a bit messy... tumblr doesn't allow sub-bullets anymore... bolded are the main posts, and italicized with square brackets are the sub-topics. for my meta, I have a TONNE more meta about John, but I just pulled the relevant character-arc ones I’ve done)

MY POSTS:

WHO IS JOHN WATSON

People and John (TAB)

Why Didn’t John Hug Sherlock in TEH?

Of Scars and Gunshots

John’s Panicking in TGG

Secrets, Half Truths and Trust

Was John Ever a Hostage?

[TBB and TGG were Orchestrated for John]

John Will Cry Buckets and Buckets

Is John / Martin Left Handed?

Things John Never Said

John’s Hand Clench

[Why Does his Hand Start Trembling?]

Why is There so Much Emphasis on “Solve it!”?

John the Dummy

[Who Would Sherlock Bother Protecting?

[What if Mary had Shot John?]

[Mary Surely Can Tell When John is Lying (Mary Underestimates John)?]

[Damsel in Distress]

Why Do People Think John is Well Endowed?

Trash John

[Why is there a double standard, where Sherlock is always forgiven but John is an asshole?]

[Why Trash John]

John’s Middle Name: Sherlock’s New Addiction

They Seemed to Forget He Was A Doctor

Modern TAB!John is Like S4 John

Did John Have an Imaginary Sherlock?

John’s S4 Hair

John’s Family Mentions in Canon?

Do I Think John Quit his job at the hospital in S4 / S5?

Is John Left or Right Handed?

The Post with John vs Irene Through GIFs?

John Grieved for Years Over Sherlock (Sherlock vs Mary)

John’s CV / Resume

When Is John’s Birthday?

SUICIDAL/DEPRESSED JOHN

Suicidal John Masterpost

A Weather Eye (Was John Suicidal When Sherlock was Gone?)

What are John’s Nightmares Actually About?

Did John Have an Imaginary Sherlock?

John’s Suicide Meta Links

The Coffin (John’s TAB Theory)

Open or Closed Casket For Sherlock?

John is a Very Sad Man Compared to Molly

Any Meta On the 3G Moment Being John’s Suicide Attempt?

JOHN’S SELF-ESTEEM

John’s Guilt

John Blames Himself for Sherlock’s Death (TLD Reflection)

John Wanting to See Someone Else?: Faith as a John Mirror

JOHN’S PTSD

TLD Morgue Scene: Is it PTSD?

John in TGG looks like he’s having a panic attack (hostage past)

I don’t like angry John

JOHN’S FORGIVENESS

Punches the Superintendent but Forgives Mary?

Did John Forgive Sherlock?

Did John Forgive Mary?

JOHN’S CHARACTER ARC

John Loves Sherlock in Every Episode!

John Loves Sherlock

John’s Cheating

John’s Past and his Bisexuality 

John’s Attracted but In Denial?

John’s Soldier vs. Doctor Dichotomy (TLD)

S4 Is John’s POV Masterpost

Dream John from TAB same as S4 John? 

John’s Character in S3

John in S4 

Canon Evidence of John Having Problems with People of Authority? 

Does John Know He’s In Love With Sherlock? 

Fic Writers’ Characterization of John

OTHERS' META:

Trained No To Cry: Challenge of Being A Soldier

Tom vs Sherlock and John vs. Molly: Obvious Mirrors

Doesn’t He Have Friends?

Captain John Watson (TSo3 Scene)

Adorable John Watson: Tricky to Write

John’s Hole

Closeted John: Growing Up in a Homophobic 80’s/90’s

Watson’s Horny Disdain

Crack Shot John Watson Under Pressure

John as a Perpetrator of Domestic Violence?

Writing John Watson

John Watson’s Medical School Life (wellington goose)

is it any wonder John is closeted

John Watson Eating Disorder

John was OOC in S4

That Time Sherlock threatened to replace John with Jim

-----

Sorry this got long, but I hope it helps :)

[sofipitch]

I'm kind of scratching my head about what they want to do with Claudia and her storyline this season. I've been ok with ageing her up and Bailey is a phenomenal actress. She's mesmerizing. But even her capacity to captivate my attention couldn't stop me from seriously questioning her character arc.

The whole idea of Claudia (in the books) was that she was an adult stuck in a small child's body, unable to live "a normal adult life". Unable to be her own independent, free person. Always needing somebody to care for her and to help her with the aspects of her life that intersected the human world. She was doomed to be dependent on one of her parents forever. And she realized that. She realized that Louis would be the only one who would bend to her will, who wil go where she wants, who will do what she asks. She loved him I have no doubt, but she also knew he was the "weak link".

That's not what I saw in this episode. They had Claudia learn how to drive , they had her go to college, they had her living alone for 7 years. She did so more or less successfully (cause they showed she wasn't as careful with her killings like L&L), but she managed just fine for 7 years. She returned home out of loneliness (in her diary) and because of the SA. Which brings me to the other point of contention. I'm disgusted that they aged Claudia just to write a rape scene in her narrative! to make her tough!!

Where is the dependance on her parents? Where is the vital need for an adult to help her navigate her life? Where is the feeling that she couldn't live in that house anymore because Lestat was the autocrat controlling everything and it was either her or Lestat? Cause if she didn't like living there, show Claudia could just leave. Where are the manipulations regarding Louis? Where is the selfishness mixed with the rightful desire for independence?

Because show Claudia, as they have portrayed her, is just a reckless girl who can't control her killings, who came home to save her dad/older brother from the evil sadistic bastard that is her other parent. Her motivations are nearly selfless. After what show Lestat did, she's 100% right to want to take Louis from him and run to the other corner of the earth. Let alone kill him after that brutal beating. There is no ambiguity left. I can't see show Claudia as a manipulative little monster desperate for love. I see a younf vampire who can't control her powers but who wants to save her loved ones.

Yeah I 100% agree, I was willing to suspend disbelief about Claudia. Like Charlie thought she was still 14 so maybe that would still create road blocks to running away. Like can a 14 year old get a hotel room? Where does she put her coffin? Did she have to buy a new one? She doesn't know you can bury yourself in the earth so she COULD have been still lost and dependent bc of looking like a child but yeah they threw that away without a second thought.

And the thing is, in the books, Claudia maybe only indirectly dies because she ran away. But it's NEVER framed as "her fault she should have listened to Lestat". Armand killing her is something that both her dads take on as their own guilt. Claudia's death is always loustat's failure. The way Rolin Jones framed the SA it could be seen as a stand in for Claudia's death in a way, that "runs away -> gets hurt" but he clearly blamed her with his phrasing and that to me is disgusting and vile.

I agree that Bailey is awesome as Claudia, it's the writer's who dropped the ball and couldn't be normal about writing a female character. Her backstory is she was abused, she is never actually loved by one of her adopted fathers, she can't find romantic love, she runs away from home and is assulted, she watches her father/brother violently abused. The story they gave Claudia is just one of nonstop pain and I think the writers should sit down and evaluate why. And why the pains that she suffered in the books I guess "weren't dramatic enough". But Claudia is the gender dysphoria character and they basically stripped that one away big time for "child of abuse character"