#maybe if you didn't stare into each other's eyes homosexually she would

[chase-md]

i wonder why

[exhuastedpigeon]

Here, to make up for anons, have a lil somethin somethin.

----

"You're not going out with Buck tonight?" Marisol asked, settling on the couch at his side.

"No, he's got plans with Tommy. They're going out to watch a meteor shower or something."

"Huh. That's very date-like of them."

"I mean, yeah? They're dating." The way her eyes flew open in surprise made his stomach twist. Shit, had he not told her they were dating?

"Buck is dating Tommy? They're...dating each other?"

"Yes? For a few weeks now. Remember when we saw them at that pizza place? They were on a date."

"Oh." She looked troubled. "I didn't realize either of them was...homosexual."

The way she said it made Eddie's eyebrow twitch. "Buck is bisexual, but yes, Tommy's gay."

"And you were fine hanging out with him all that time?"

"Sure, why wouldn't I be?" he said, starting to hate the direction this conversation was taking.

"What if he'd hit on you?"

He sighed. "Gay men aren't compelled to hit on every man they know. And so what if he did? I'd tell him no thanks and we'd go back to whatever we were doing."

"And Buck is your best friend!"

"Yes," he said, firmly. "Always will be."

"And you're just fine with him dating a man."

"Again, why wouldn't I be?"

"It's unnatural, Eddie!" she said, in an unlovely outburst.

He went cold. "What?"

"It's forbidden by the Church."

"Maybe I don't give a fuck what the Church thinks. Why are you acting like this?"

"I'm not acting like anything, I'm just...this is what I believe."

He got up, raking a restless hand through his hair. "Well, it's not what i believe."

"And you're just fine with them being around Christopher?" she said.

Eddie's whole body went very still. He just stared at her for a moment, incandenscent rage filling every cell. Without a word, he walked over to the front door and opened it. "Get out."

She sat there, mouth open and stunned, for a moment. She got up, picked up her purse, and stepped outside. She turned. "Eddie..."

"Stay away from my family," he said, and shut the door in her face.

Lori this is so good! It feels like this might actually be where Eddie and Marisol are heading, especially after the nun reveal.

I would love to see protective Eddie come out and just really hammer home that Buck is nonnegotiable in his life.

[veeisdunn]

Sneaking around

Shelby family x sister!reader

warning: period typical homophobia

context: set before season one, reader is a few years younger than Ada.

I know this isn't an original idea and is kind of overdone, but I figured since I am very very queer I might as well give it a shot.

WC: 4.1K

MASTERLIST

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

It took awhile for everyone to recognise, but it was clear as day now. The youngest Shelby girl was slipping away.

Finn saw it first. The young boy idolised his older sister. Though less than a year was between them, Y/N was his world. You were there, day in day out, to offer support, advice, or generally cause trouble; until one day, you weren't.

Arthur, bless his heart, took a long time to come around. 

"But I fuck off all the bloody time and I don't see any of yous all stressed"

"This is different Arthur, it's y/n" Tommy, the replacement voice of reason.

You were barely a teenager when you first realised you were different. You had a playground boyfriend who you adored, but not in the right way. You always looked at him like a best friend, but it became painfully obvious he was dealing with some serious puppy love. He kissed you. You hated it.

You promptly ended things after that embarrassment.

As you got older, it clicked. You didn't like boys, not in that way. You looked at women the same way many men would. 

I'm fucking delusional. A looney.

The Shelby boys would tease your lack of romance, but deep down appreciated that you being single gave them one less thing to worry about.

You was all alone with these thoughts of self-loathing, until you met her.

Emma was a few years your senior and worked as a seamstress on the other side of Small Heath. You were caught in the rain together one evening, and the rest was history. You and Emma became close friends, both craving female companionship in your male-dominated lives. Your relationship escalated one drunken night in the snug of the Garrison. Most of the Blinders were in London doing god knows what, leaving the private room of the pub to you and her friend.

"Truth or dare?" Emma slurred 

You hummed, "truth!"

"Who was your first love?" 

"That's a big question." you pondered

"I've just never seen you around any men! You never even talk about them, you literally have your pick of every man in Birmingham." Emma giggled, her inhibitions getting the best of her.

"I… I just haven't found the right person yet." you quipped defensively, pouring yourself and Emman another glass.

"Maybe you're looking in the wrong place?" 

You choked on her gin. "What's that supposed to mean?”

Emma leaned back into her chair and stared you down. "I saw the way you look at the barmaid." she smirked.

shit. shit. shit.

"I think she's cute as well" Emma continued, swirling her drink around her glass.

You felt like all of the air had been ejected from your lungs. Did Emma feel it too?

"Wait. You also like women?" 

"Yes. I think they're rather more attractive" the older girl replied nonchalantly.

— 

Ever since that fateful evening, you had been "best friends" - more accurately, you were sneaking around each other's houses, stealing kisses behind buildings or under tables, and fighting the urge not to show any physical affection in public. You were enamored by each other.

This new arrangement made you fear your family, quite simply because they ran the entire city - the walls may as well have had piercing eyes following your every move. Though if the you were exposed, you didn't worry for yourself, you worried for Emma - an unmarried 20 year-old living in a bedsit above a cobbler who had no family (or gang for that matter) to come to her defense.

Y/N was certain this was one of the only laws her family hadn’t broken, and now you were walking all over it. Homosexuality, as Emma had taught you, was fully natural, but extremely illegal. Sometimes the you wished you could just be normal, but then you wouldn’t be able to spend hours gazing into your girlfriend's glowing eyes - a truly impossible predicament.

— 

The sun peaked up over the dense bog of factory smoke, darkened rays illuminating the dusty streets. Y/N took a deep breath in, halfway between a slumber and reality. 

That’s a nice smell.

Only a few minutes later did you realise that that nice smell was, in fact, Emma’s perfume and your head was, in fact, buried in Emma's chest.

“Morning, sunshine.” The older girl whispered, resting her hand on your knotty h/c  hair, attempting in vain to comb through it with her fingers.

“What time is it?” you yawned and relaxed into Emma’s gentle touch.

“Just turned seven, the bird’s woke me.” She spoke softly but the you were thrown into a panic. This was your first time sleeping in your bed and you'd slept in.

“They'll be up.” You shot up from Emma’s embrace. This revelation ruined the tranquillity of your night together. Emma hastily slipped on one of your frilly blouses and long woollen skirt, abandoning last night’s evening dress for the sake of blending in outside. You then helped your lover out of the window and onto the fence, then down to the alleyway beside the Shelby home.

“Em I’m sorry, again. I’m just scared, I don’t want anything to happen to you.” You apologised profusely, feeling ashamed that you went to such lengths to hide. 

Emma smiled sadly “No, I get it. We can’t have our fun end now can we?” She giggled playfully “I best be off, you should sleep over in my room tonight.” 

You blushed as Emma waltzed down the alley and onto the bustle of Watery Lane as if nothing had just happened. 

— 

“Aunt Polly, guess what?” Finn giggled, skipping into the crowded kitchen. The whole family, except you, were crowded around the table eating breakfast. “I heard someone in Y/N’s room!”

“Finn, that’s not funny. Go and cause trouble elsewhere.” Tommy scolded, glancing up from his newspaper.

“No!” the boy protested, grabbing his Aunt’s arm as she walked past, “I heard her talking! And I heard lots of footsteps! And the window!” he blabbed

The chorus of murmurs that filled the room ceased. 

“Y/N’s finally gotten herself a man!” John cheered, slapping an angry Tommy on the back. Across the table, it looked as if steam was pouring from Arthur’s ears.

“Boys, I say it’s a good thing. It’s time she found someone to have fun with.” Ada sighed, sensing one of her brother’s was about to blow up.

“I agree with Ada.” Polly announced, “Y/N is an adult now, she can do whatever the bloody hell she pleases”

“She’s barely 18!” Tommy slammed his paper down “she should NOT be having men sharing her bed.” Ada glared daggers into him. A floorboard creaking across the hall meant that you had accidentally announced yourself sneaking back to bed.

“Speak of the devil.” Arthur tutted. 

You apprehensively stepped towards the stairs.

Maybe if I walk slowly, they won’t see me?

“Y/N! Y/N! Who was it? When can I meet him?” Finn sang, bounding up to you, Tommy hot on his heels. 

“Who was the man in your bed?” Tommy demanded “Do we know him? Or will I have to introduce myself?” He snapped, a menacing undertone in his voice.

“THIS is why she felt the need to sneak him out!” Ada shouted over her brother, “you could at least pretend to be supportive!”

Tommy let out a sarcastic chuckle. “Okay, how was your secret fuck last night?”

“THOMAS! Cut it out. Now.” Polly could have broken glass with her shriek. “Girls, I suggest you leave. Your brothers need educating.”  

You fled up the stairs to her room. Ada followed close behind, stopping her sister from slamming the door and locking herself away. You threw yourself on the bed in despair. 

“That’s a nice dress. Did you wear it last night?” Ada tried her best to be friendly, inspecting Emma’s crimson dress hung over a desk chair.

“That’s not my dress.” You rolled over to face the wall, “it’s my friends.” you huffed defensively.

“You know, you can always borrow my dresses?” Ada settled down at the end of her sister’s bed, misjudging the situation.

“No Ada, it’s just that she wore it last night and left it here.” 

“So if one of your friends slept over, can’t you just tell everyone so they’ll shut up?”

An unfamiliar knot tied itself in your stomach. It was one thing sneaking around behind the backs of your family, lying to their faces was not something you'd considered. You opted to remain silent.

“What’s going on with you lately? You keep shutting everyone out.” Ada leaned over and looked down over her little (adult) sister with concern.

“I’m just so fucking tired of hiding.”

Ada’s the least likely to kill me.

“From what?” 

“Everyone. I am sick of living life like this.”

“Y/N, who was here last night?” Ada asked softly, catching on.

You snapped. “My girlfriend. My girlfriend was here and we slept in my bed. We didn’t have sex, we just talked.”

Ada silently gasped and took a moment to compose herself. “Look, I don’t care what you’re doing with her-”

“No, it’s not that.” tears began to well in your eyes, “it’s the fact they all probably think I’m no better than a common prostitute despite the fact they sleep with every woman they find.” 

“Oh Y/N…” Ada mumbled with a smile, “Polly will sort them out. You shouldn’t be sneaking around us.”

You was taken aback by Ada’s lack of anger. 

“Now…” Ada jumped up and picked up Emma’s dress from the chair, admiring the quality “tell me about her!”

— 

“Look Thomas, just because she is a woman and you are a man, it doesn’t mean you have more rights than Y/N.” Polly snapped, towering above her nephew.

“You just can’t seem to get it through your head, Pol.” Tommy retorted, standing from his seat, “men are bad, they can’t be trusted.”

“Yes, and you would know all about bad men Tommy, since you yourself run with the devil.” Polly squared up to him and snarled, staring into his dark eyes.

John joined the pair standing and rested a hand on each of their shoulders. “Eva is a smart girl, she probably picked someone who’s the total opposite of a Blinder. He’ll be nothing like Tommy.”

“At least if he’s a fuckin’ Blinder we can finish him off quickly.” Arthur chimed in, gripping his glass so hard it could have smashed.

“There will be no finishing of anyone off. You boys cannot sentence an innocent man to death for sleeping with Y/N. How do you think she will take that? Will she thank you? Or will she leave this God forsaken city and never come back?” Polly snapped, “It’s your decision, but it’s one you should take in a fucking heartbeat.”

As Polly berated Arthur and John sat back with indifference, Tommy stormed into the hallway and ascended the rickety stairs to your room. His mind was running at lightning speed, anger and guilt both clouding his rational brain. He had to know who this man was before he decided on his next step. Your jubilant voice and Ada’s giggles stopped him from bashing her door off its hinges.

“And when Emma kisses me, I swear my heart is going to explode.”

“Does she treat you well?”

“She’s so thoughtful. On the anniversary of Mum’s death, she brought flowers for us to throw in the cut. We sat on the edge for hours and she just listened to me ramble.”

“Oh my gosh! You lucky girl Y/N!” 

Tommy kissed his teeth and looked up at the ceiling before opening the door.

If there is a God, he thought, then please tell me what the fuck is going on.

Both yourself and Ada jumped as your older brother entered, his expression was impossible for either of you to decipher.

“Tommy, before you yell at her, can you at least think about this!” Ada begged, standing between him and yourself.

“Ada. Out. I need to talk with Y/N alone.”

Ada stepped forward “If you upset her Tommy, I’ll fucking kill you.” she threatened through gritted teeth.

Begrudgingly, after bickering some more, Ada left your bedroom and closed the door behind her. 

Thomas sighed, listening to the rapid rhythm of his pulse. Wordlessly, he picked up your desk chair and placed it next to your bed, sitting down and staring at his sister who was leant against the headboard, your knees to yourchest. You refused to meet his gaze.

“So,” He coughed, “Who is Emma?”

You traced circles into your thigh as you took a shaky breath in.

“My friend.” You mumbled

“Your friend who you shared a bed with and kissed?” Tommy raised his eyebrows. He needed to hear you say it for yourself, though, as Ada did, he’d caught on.

“I - you know, Tommy.” You sniffed your tears back.

“I need to hear it from you, Y/N. Use your words.”

“Fine. I love her Tommy! I love her more than all the girls you sleep around with. I know you don’t want me to be happy but I don’t care because I love her.” You lost it, you sat up and faced him, shouting with tears streaming down your face. The only thing stopping you from attacking him was the iron grip you were keeping on your bed sheets.

Tommy didn’t reply. He rested his elbows on his knees and held his head in his hands.

“I know you’re pissed but quite frankly I’m sick to death of being a prisoner to the men in this family. For once, I have someone who loves me for me and who doesn’t treat me like a child. If you don’t like it, I’ll fucking leave and you can be rid of me.” The words flew out of your mouth without much doubt and you couldn’t figure out if they were empty threats or if you were ready to run. Your brother’s reaction would decide that.

Silence. “So?” you spat, “when do you want me gone?”

Tommy barely registered what he had heard. He was stunned, sifting through his racing thoughts: She could be arrested, or even killed. Her reputation would be finished. What if she wanted her own life and career? Would she even be able to find a job?

He was so engrossed, in fact, that he didn’t even notice you leave in floods of tears.

— 

You were running on fumes. You hadn’t woken up prepared for any of this anguish. Your legs carried you to the one place where you knew you’d be safe - Emma. Before long, and after lots of odd looks from people around you, you'd ended up at the door of the dress shop where your girlfriend worked. 

“G’morning! How can I help?” The woman behind the counter looked up from her work at you, a fake smile on her face.

“Emma.” you panted, catching your breath, “Is Emma here? I’m her friend and it’s an emergency.”

After studying your face, the woman’s smile faded. “Emma!” She poked her head through a door behind her and called, “There is a Miss Shelby here looking for you.”

A crash, a slam, and then Emma appeared, rather flustered. If it wasn’t for your panic, you would be swooning at the sight of your lover in your clothes. 

“You should step in the back for a minute - I don’t want customers seeing you girls chit-chat.” The woman, who you had now deduced was the boss, spoke quietly. Emma didn’t respond and grabbed your forearm, leading you into the back room and closing the door.

“What happened? Why’re you crying?” Emma fretted, sitting you down at a desk.

You held back your tears in fear of getting your girlfriend in trouble. “They know.” You whispered, “My little brother heard someone in my room and they’ve all found out.”

Emma cursed under her breath, holding onto your hands so hard her knuckles went white. “Are they angry?” She whispered back, her eyes flicking to the door cautiously.

“I - I don’t know. My sister was really happy but I don’t think my brothers are. I asked Tommy if he wanted me to leave and he didn’t even say anything. I don’t think I can go back.”

The older girl walked over to a set of pegs and took a key out of a bag, handing it to you. “Go back to my room. I’ll finish at six today, then we can come up with a plan.”

“No!” You snapped in a hushed voice “You don’t understand how crazy my family are. You should leave me here and go somewhere else, it won’t be safe in the city for you anymore.”

“I’m not going anywhere without you. If you don’t think it’s safe here, then let’s both get out.”

After that exchange, you were sent on your way back to Emma’s bedsit. Luckily everyone else was at work so no one saw you run in. You were originally planning to spend the day figuring out what you and Emma were going to do come the evening, but you instead collapsed from exhaustion and slept.

— 

“Thomas Michael Shelby!” Polly bellowed, practically picking him up by his collar. “What in God’s name have you done?!”

Tommy snapped out of his haze. Y/N was gone. Polly was out for blood. Ada was crying. Arthur was having a drink - at 8am. John was gone, too. What the fuck happend?

“You were meant to comfort her! Not drive her out of the fucking house!” 

Tommy ignored his raging aunt. “I’ll get every bloody man on the street to find her.” His voice was monotone as he pulled a cigarette from his pocket.

Ada chuckled sarcastically, “John’s already onto that, got all the Blinder’s after her. He was being a brother while you were sitting on your arse.”

“SHIT” Tommy stood up and threw the pile of books from Y/N’s desk into the wall. “Shit shit shit.” And he was gone.

— 

The three brothers were out all day looking for their sister, while Polly, Ada, and Finn stayed home waiting in case she returned. She didn’t. As the night approached, the trio returned and handed over to a group of their associates who planned to search all night.

On the other side of Small Heath, you and Emma were getting ready to head out. Your plan was to sneak back to Watery Lane, get your things, leave a note, and get out. You was intending to hide in Emma’s room until you could both figure out where to go next. You took the reverse route that you had that morning, seeing that all the lights were on downstairs, but no one appeared to be upstairs. Down the alley, up the fence, onto the roof, then through the window. The one thing that you'd forgotten to consider was that somebody could already be in there. 

Ada was laying on your bed in floods of tears. The second your feet hit the floor, she shot up and screamed, bounding over. “Y/N! I thought you were never coming back!” She grabbed you and smothered her in an embrace, “Tommy didn’t mean it. He was just being an idiot. Good god Y/N I thought we’d lost you.”

Emma awkwardly slid in through the window, extremely embarrassed. At the same time, a pair of footsteps sprinted up the stairs and into the room and the door flew open. John. He looked exhausted and was too shocked to even speak, he assumed Ada was having a nightmare. On her guard, Emma stormed over to him and backed him in a corner. 

“Are you Thomas?!” She snapped, seething with anger.

John let out a sincere chuckle and smiled. “So Y/N did pick someone tough after all - I’m John, not Tommy.” Emma retreated in embarrassment.

“Sorry, I thought he’d made you cry.” She mumbled to you “I couldn’t help myself.”

“I like her, Y/N.” Ada smiled, taking a good look at the new woman in the room.

You walked over to Emma and took her hand. “You don’t need to protect me, it’s ok.” You whispered, wrapping her in a calming hug. You could feel her pulse pumping across her body.

“So you’re the girl who stole my little sister’s heart?” John enquired, relieved.

“Emma.” You spoke into the girl’s chest, “You’re hugging me too tight.”

Emma immediately let go “I’m sorry, I’m just tense.” You pecked her lips, “Better now?”

Ada awed at the interaction and took in the sight of her baby sister in love, John could have sworn his legs had turned to jelly. The moment was destroyed by another set of footsteps, Tommy entered drearily. 

John ceased his opportunity to wind his brother up. “Emma.” He announced, turning to her, “This is Thomas. Tommy, meet Emma.”

The loving embrace between you both ended as Emma stormed over to the doorway and pinned Tommy against it. Ada covered her mouth, trying not to laugh at the exchange.

“You. You fucking made Y/N cry. She’s been in my room all day crying because you couldn’t talk to her, after demanding that she ‘use her words’ you fucking prick.” she spat. Tommy lifted his hands up in surrender, shocked at this new girl’s confidence. 

“Ay, no need to shout. I came to apologise to my sister for being an arse.” 

“Honest to God Tommy, I don’t think an apology will cut it.” John folded his arms and walked towards the door.

“No. I’ll listen.” You piped up, pushing past John. “Emma, it’s ok, I promise.”

Emma shook her head and stood back. Ada took her out of the room begrudgingly and John followed, the three of them waiting outside of your door.

“Tommy, I-” You began but you were cut off by your brother engulfing you in a hug and practically picking you up.

“I’m so sorry sweetheart. I’m sorry. You can be angry at me but I’m just so happy you’re home.” He rambled, gripping you as if you were about to disappear again.

“I’m not angry, I’m hurt.” You stepped back from the hug and looked into his glassy eyes. “Why didn’t you say something, anything Tommy? I thought you were mad, I thought you hated me.” You spoke as tears fell down her cheeks.

“I - Y/N I was thinking about you. I was scared. You’re too good for this world and people won’t understand this.”

“I just wish you could have said something. Tommy you fucking terrified me.” You sniffed.

He took your hand in his and held it to his chest. “I don’t care who you love, Y/N, as long as you love. I don’t know where all that talk of me hating you came from. You could scream and shout at me, but I will never, ever, hate you. I got scared that you’d met some man like me who wouldn’t treat you well; but now I see you’ve found yourself a woman who will fight me over your feelings - a brave woman.” 

“So… you don't hate me? I thought you’d want me locked up.”

Tommy scoffed “Locked up, eh? You don’t have shell shock. You aren’t crazy. And even if you were, I'd look after you, I wouldn’t shut you away.”

You burst into relieved tears, prompting Emma to open the door. Tommy immediately stood to face her, his arms yet again up in a surrender.

“I don’t know if you heard that, Love, but I was apologising, so please don’t cut me.” He spoke, locking eyes with her pleadingly.

“Ok.” Emma sighed. “You’re forgiven, for now.” She warned. John skipped through the door cheering. “Tommy brother, we have found your match!” He laughed, “Aunt Polly will love you!”

The rollercoaster of a day came to a crashing halt as night fell across Watery Lane. You apprehensively introduced Emma to your family. John was right, Polly adored her: “Finally, another woman to help me control these feral men.”

Arthur was less expressive: “D’ya want a whisky?” Emma obliged - immediate friends.

Finn, bless his heart, was very confused - “Y/N, your boyfriend is a girl.” but he eventually figured it out.

— 

“You know,” You started, looking into the fire surrounded by your family with the woman you loved, “sometimes Em and I joke that the Shelby’s have now broken every law in the book.”

“No, I’m sure your brothers could find a few others.” Polly chuckled, leaning back into her seat, a smile plastered across her face.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

please drop me a comment or message with any feedback or suggestions! I'd love to hear from you ♡

Vee x

MASTERLIST

[adelalovesmadara]

◐SNS Fanfic Idea◑crack?

He goes straight, aiming for Naruto's bruised lips. 

Sasuke kisses him, almost too softly at first, as he is unsure if it'd be received well by Naruto. Naruto doesn't respond, as he is in some form of paralysis now, but the moment Sasuke presses harder ― sensually, of course ― there is an appreciative hum coming from the back of Naruto's throat, as such Sasuke doesn't take him not returning the kiss as a complete rejection. Besides, that voice Naruto made has woken something up in him that he easily sets the slight aside. 

"Well?" Sasuke asks. 

"Sasuke..." Naruto looks dazed though credit for him as he soon snaps out of it. "Sasuke, we're both guys," states Naruto dumbly, like there are unwritten rules that two guys cannot kiss each other. Not that Sasuke knows anything about that as even if there were ones, he couldn't care less. He likes kissing Naruto, he finds, and that is a good reason enough for Sasuke to continue kissing, so he leans in ― kissing Naruto again, this time letting his teeth feel the swell of Naruto's lips. 

Despite Naruto's fear for his comrades' reactions and confusion about the suddenness of this situation, he doesn't protest ― more like he doesn't feel the need to. Maybe because the guy currently kissing him is Sasuke and that the kiss wasn't an accident that he'd instinctively feel obligated to appear absolutely disgusted and horrified. But the kiss wasn't an accident. Sasuke initiated it. Naruto comes to a discovery that he likes how Sasuke caress his lower face. Is he a homosexual now? Naruto doesn't have a clue, that or he is afraid of this... abnormality of his.

The desire to gaze, smell, feel, taste, and own that face is overwhelming but Sasuke won't be Sasuke without his self-restraint. He won't let the desire consume him ― maybe later in private, perhaps, but not here where they have audience. 

Sakura and Kakashi are equally as wide-eyed as each other. Their jaws are hanging by the thread as they take in the scene. 

It must be a Genjutsu. 

"Sasuke-kun can't be a homosexual, Sasuke-kun can't be a homosexual," mutters Sakura, face down and desperate. "Sasuke-kun is a normal boy, who likes girls ― a girl like me, maybe... Yes, hahaha... Shannaro..."

Kakashi glances at his lone female student, rightly concerned. Apparently Sakura is trying to convince herself that her long-time crush isn't into boys when said crush is currently planted on Naruto's face like his life is depended on it. 

"... I've never seen this coming," Kakashi admits out loud, to no one in particular. He has supported Sakura's love for Sasuke, it's obvious he thought the boy should at least consider to return her feelings unlike him who didn't return Rin's. He never thought that Sasuke would be a deviant... Well... He knows now. Intimately so.  

Sasuke's stare almost cuts through Naruto. "You pull a Senju Hashirama on me even once and I'll try to cut your dick." 

"Pull a... Pull a what?" Naruto thinks he's going to have bald spots when he reaches eighteen next year if Sasuke keeps this up. "You're joking, right?" 

"See, it is now established that we like each other in a much-more-than-friendly way," Sasuke begins, face taut with purpose. "I'd like to think that this bond means more than common friendship. Don't deny it, Naruto, you said it yourself you don't know how to describe why you felt the need to reach out to me no matter what except that 'you hurt when you see that I'm shouldering everything on my own'. This bond between us..." He bares his teeth and consequently makes his eyes appear wider. "... means more than a typical romantic relationship between a man and a woman. That's why..." 

"... That's why...?" 

"If you one day suddenly tell me that you're going to marry a random, plain woman you picked because she has a crush on you for ages and because of that you feel that it's your duty to marry and impregnate her," Sasuke smirks, "I'll have to try my hand at castration." 

It now clicks in and Naruto has never been more terrified in his life. "Wait ― You're going to cut my dick if I married a woman?!" he shouts. "My dick?!" 

"Hmph." Sasuke minimally shrugs. "I don't take betrayal well now that I know I can let myself trust you. You, especially, because you never gave up on me. You've never betrayed me and you don't plan to unless I start shouldering everything by myself again. I admit that this is unwarranted as your loyalty to me is apparent but you'll never know what the future may present to us." He pauses. "I suppose I hold contempt for uncertainties such as this." 

There is a chirp of a bird heard from a distance. The Infinite Tsukuyomi has been released after all.

"Maybe..." Sasuke contemplates. He sighs. "I'll have to check it." 

Naruto rapidly blinks at this. "Sasuke..." he trails off. 

"Is marriage possible for same-sex couples?" 

"I... don't know, Sasuke." 

[wildfluffyappeared]

Tried my hand at some Jeanlisa stuff, modern AU, trans Jean (and Diluc, he's there too lol), the characterization isn't the best but I had fun

***

Diluc smiled at Jean over his coffee cup. "So, what's got you all flustered?" he asks with an exasperated but good natured tone to his voice.

Jean rolls her eyes. "What do you mean? I'm not flustered about anything!" she says with a grin.

Diluc sets his cup down gently. He and Jean have known each other nearly their whole lives. They had grown up together, went to school together, even had a bit of a fling in high school before they'd both realized some things about themselves. He knew Jean almost as well as he knew himself. And he knew when his best friend had a crush.

Diluc smiles at Jean. "Girl, I know you too well for this. Who is it?" He chuckles and asks, "Is it that older woman who runs the campus bookstore you've been staring at longingly since the start of the semester?"

Jean nearly chokes on her coffee, sputtering in embarrassment as her cheeks begin to softly glow red. "W-what? I don't have a crush on Lisa!"

"Never had you pegged as a MILF lover," Diluc teases. Despite himself, he's having a lot of fun. Spending time with Jean again at Mondstadt University had done wonders for his mental health; he'd been struggling ever since the passing of his father and subsequent estrangement from his brother, Kaeya. He had spent months away, traveling the world to try to ease his pain, before coming back home to Mondstadt, and finally starting college. So when Jean had texted him to set up a lunch date after class, of course he had agreed. Honestly, it was nice to come back home. It was nice to see Jean again. It was nice to be doing something as simple as teasing an old friend for her taste in women.

The ambient noise of the coffeeshop, the cups clattering against saucers and chatter among the customers would, Jean hoped, disguise her obvious embarrassment at Diluc's comments. "Okay, so... Maybe. Maybe I have a crush on her. So what?" she muttered quietly.

"So," Diluc says with a sly grin, "perhaps it's time I teach you some of the old Ragnvindr ways to woo a woman."

At that, Jean laughs out loud. "Diluc, what could you POSSIBLY teach me about women? You haven't dated a woman since *me,* and I was a boy back then!"

"You forget, dear friend, that just because I am woefully inexperienced with women, doesn't mean that Kaeya and my father didn't attempt to impart some wisdom on me when I began my own transition," Diluc says with a playful tone.

Jean smiles at that. She'd been so worried about Diluc recently. Ever since the death of the legendary soldier Crepus Ragnvindr, Diluc and Kaeya's father, Diluc had been so withdrawn, such a shell of his former self. A cold, chilly personality at complete odds with his fiery hair and eyes, and the fire she had known to be in his heart their whole life. So to see life in his eyes again, to see him cracking jokes about womanizing despite being the most fervently homosexual trans man she had ever met, warmed her heart more than she could even say.

So after rolling her eyes, she sighs and relents, to make her best friend happy. "Alright, Diluc. Teach me how to woo Lisa."

***

It's been about a week since Diluc and Jean's platonic coffeeshop lunch date. It had taken that long for Jean to work up the nerve to go try to flirt with the bookstore owner on campus.

As she opened the doors to the bookstore, she saw the same familiar sights that she had grown accustomed to on her numerous visits. The counter near the front, where Lisa herself stood smiling at her visitor, the shelves of books behind. And the one thing that had given Jean hope in this endeavor: a small crossed set of flags, one a standard LGBTQ pride flag, and one the pink, purple, and blue of the bisexual pride flag, sitting in a display at Lisa's computer behind the desk.

"Hello, Jeanie dear," Lisa said with a smile as Jean entered, her sultry voice ringing out across the empty store. "Is there anything I can help you find today, or did you just come to see me again?" she asks with a wink.

Jean fights to keep from showing her blush at that wink. Trying her best to remember what Diluc had told her, she strides up to the counter wearing an air of fake confidence, and leans one hand on the counter. "Yes, ma'am, I'm looking to see if I can find any books that teach me how to flirt with women, especially ones with beautiful green eyes."

She cringes to herself even as she's saying it, and Lisa laughs out loud. "Oh my goodness, was that you trying to flirt? You certainly do need advice from a book, poor thing!" At seeing Jean's embarrassed face, though, her expression shifts softly. "You're a sweet young lady, dearie, but you really needn't listen too much to that Diluc."

Jean smiles sheepishly. "Was it that transparent that I learned from him?" she asks, tilting her head slightly.

"Cutie, just because his pickup lines work on ginger twinks from Snezhnaya, doesn't mean they're *good,*" Lisa says with a coy grin. "But it's been obvious you've been... Interested. No other college student comes here every day the way you do, pretending to browse books. It's cute, and you're cute, but I wanted to give you the chance to do this on your own. How about you try again, and just be yourself, Jeanie?"

Jean can tell Lisa is teasing her at this point. She remembers another thing Diluc said, about how sometimes older women like to play with their food before eating it. She chuckles to herself, before deciding to do what's most familiar and comfortable. And so, drawing herself up in a dignified manner. "Alright, then. Miss Lisa, I would like to ask that you do me the honor of accompanying me to dinner on a night that is convenient for you."

The look on Lisa's face is priceless, and she has to force herself not to burst out laughing. "On second thought, maybe the bad pickup lines were preferable," she snarks playfully. At this, however, Lisa takes pity on the poor embarrassed girl. She slides Jean a small scrap of paper. "Here, jot your number down on this for me and I'll give you a call sometime, okay, cutie?"

Jean takes the scrap, her face glowing a bright red. "O-okay," she says, and quickly scrawls down the digits of her phone number before rushing out the door in a fit of embarrassment.

***

That night, Jean's phone vibrates twice in quick succession. Two text messages, one from Diluc, and one from an unknown number. She opens Diluc's message first.

Diluc: [Oh my GOD jean. I went to the bookstore today, I can't believe you actually tried that line. That was bad even by your standards, you're lucky Ms. Minci took pity on you! :P]

Jean simply responds with a eye rolling emoji, before opening the second message.

Unknown number: [Hi, cutie. This is Lisa from the bookstore. Figured I'd go ahead and take the lead here, since you're such a shy little thing. I'll be taking you out for dinner this Saturday evening. Let me know where to pick you up?]

Flushing a bright red again, Jean types out a quick response of assent, before putting her phone down and grinning ear to ear.

[mlobsters]

supernatural s10e6 ask jeeves (w. eric charmelo, nicole snyder)

i looked her up because she reminds me of tissea from the witcher (spoiler alert looking her up apparently, i've been [sadly] bored to tears with s3 so i haven't finished it) but she was in coyote ugly! so i did recognize her. ish

s10e6 / coyote ugly - izabella miko as cammie / the witcher - myanna buring as tissaia

we got an spn / xfiles / the magicians / the killing actor! 🎉

and he was in the tooms episode of the x-files! (along with two others). and he was the faith healer in spn s1e12 faith, didn't recognize him at all with the sunglasses

the x-files s1e3 squeeze - kevin mcnulty as agent fuller / the magicians s2e1 km as knight of crowns / the killing s1e13 km as gas station manager

saw a gifset of this recently and spent plenty of time staring and rolling my eyes then. also, toxic masculinity/machismo is very much an issue in the culture but hello cuban coffee colada which comes with the ittiest bittiest cups (think basically creamer cups) for sharing. *pining for miami*

making my 😒 face at dean/writers right now

DEAN Bobby had secrets, man. Like loving on Tori Spelling. If he only knew Dean cheated on her.

cue my brain trying to dig up an old memory of 90210 character names

but no, apparently, her actual spouse Dean McDermott (m. 2006). dean knows this? i can't predict what pop culture stuff dean might know or not. (like interweb?) and like last episode where he didn't know who calliope was, yet he's supposedly read the odyssey?

from s4e14 sex and violence (my recap)

DEAN Like Greek myth siren, The Odyssey? ...Hey, I read!

just say no to dumbing down dean winchester.

also i don't think it's necessarily just sam's haircut that's so odd in this season, but it looks like it's getting blown out too. weird. it's normalish for his look in the front but very ~done~ in the back at times

just say yes to shutting up and watching, nic

s10e6 as heddy / new girl - gillian vigman as kim (schmidt's boss)

but there's more people i recognize 🥲 this is going to take forever. feels very... Clue-like

she calls them adorable, dean engages flirt-mode, sam makes a face. however! for what it's worth! i appreciate that as he's gotten older the rando side character women he flirts with are also regularly around his age or older

BEVERLY Oh but you’re welcome to spend the night. All the rooms sleep two.

HEDDY [slaps Dean’s butt] Or three.

i... okay. mad at the insinuation that sam and dean are sleeping together (?? do they know they're brothers or assuming married?? this show.), but happy about the butt slap/threesome offer?

DEAN You stay here. Keep an eye on Mrs. Peacock and Colonel Mustard. I’ll sniff around.

okay then. Clue it is

DASH Well Sam, I’ll let you in on a little family secret. We don’t really like each other. Then again, what family does? SAM Mine does. Uh, for the most part. It’s just my brother and me, so…

this is how the show has a chokehold on me. just when my commitment to watching every episode wavers, they're like oh but would you like to hear about how much sam and dean looove each other 🥺🥹

maybe toss sam a text before you go into the secret room

cute

is this all just an elaborate ad? lol

look at sam, sending a text to dean about the dude being dead. good job guys

HEDDY Did you see how long his fingers his fingers were? SAM There��there’s just. HEDDY First of all, did you see this? Look how long…

and then at this point in the screenshot she's saying 9 inches?? whaaat is happening

did someone get a ruler out. and measured his..... hand

this episode is a lot

HEDDY I knew those boys were trailer trash the moment they rolled up in that American-made. BEVERLY Not to mention homosexuals. HEDDY Ugh. Homosexual murderers. Like Leopold and Loeb.

guess we're just gonna ignore they're brothers now.

‘Scream’ Screenwriter Kevin Williamson Confirms Billy and Stu’s Queer-Coded Relationship Was Based on Real Gay Killers - huh, well thanks for leading me to that, wikipedia article on leopold and loeb!

DASH Then where have you been hiding all these years? OLIVIA The attic. AMBER Like in the movie.

Reference to Flowers in the Attic, which is a story about children born of an incestuous relationship, who are hidden away in the attic of a wealthy relative

i was trying to think of what it could be referring to that wasn't flowers in the attic because hello incest reference, but okay

SAM I mean….all those extra shots after the shifter was already dead. What was that? DEAN I don’t know. Target practice? SAM Come on, man. I’m serious. You sure it wasn’t….I don’t know, demon residue or something to do with the Mark, or...

demon residue made me laugh

dean getting defensive and weird, i'm sure he's fine

LOL all right (wiki)

Shortly before the episode aired, in November 2014, a Supernatural version of Clue was released.

what an odd episode.

[trumanlilac]

/ / c h a p t e r - o n e / /

The room was drafty, it felt almost like a real hospital...well it was...but...you know, like the actual ones that people get shots and stuff in...I looked around, it was a typical setting. A few flower vases in the corner with plants that you could tell were obviously fake...and empty arm chairs all around. I was happy they were empty, I didn't want to see anyone...although I did wish someone was around so I could ask how these damn things went along...

Just with that thought, a tall guy dressed in all black came straggling in. He looked lost, or stoned...I really couldn't tell. He had a strange hairdo...shaved on the sides and long at the center...it was kind of cool as I scoped it. His eyes fell on mine, I looked away quickly. He sat down beside me, the smell of cigarettes against his leather coat easing into my nostrils. How could such an attractive guy let himself reek of the aroma of cancer sticks.

"Hi." He smiled slightly.

"...hi..." I smiled slightly also, taken by surprise that he'd actually speak to me...he didn't look like a talkative, or very friendly guy...I guess because he was wearing so much black.

"I'm not crazy, by the way." He assured me.

I laughed, I couldn't help it...he was so forward, "neither am I."

"Well good." He nodded, his smile growing wider, "not that I thought you were."

"I didn't think you were either." I shrugged shyly.

"But even if you were that would be fine." He said, looking right at me. We were so close together due to the set up of the chairs that it made me nervous, I leaned to the side a little, backing from him.

"Same for you." I looked away, I always became a bit nervous to look at an attractive person right in the face. It gave me an everlasting feeling that there just had to be shit on mine or something.

"Matty." He held his hand out, I could see his eyes wandering around every bit of my face and behavior, he obviously knew I was nervous...was he a psychologist? And just acting like a client?

"Katie." I shook his hand quickly and slipped mine into the pockets of my over sized cardigan sweater.

"Katie. Is it short for-"

"Katie?" A woman called, guessing she was my psychologist, I stood up and swung my purse over my shoulders, "sorry." I didn't look back, and followed the woman back to her office.

"Hi, my name is Elaine, I'll be your psychologist." She smiled and extended her hand after closing the door behind us. She happened to be a very attractive woman, and quite young to my surprise...maybe in her thirties or so. She wore red lipstick and had long blonde hair tied back...and bright blue eyes...and breasts that she obviously wanted to show off because they'd nearly pop right out of her blouse if she were to jump.

I reached out and shook her hand, then sat down.

"Are you doing okay?"

"No, a really attractive man just told me his name and I don't know how to take that."

Elaine stared at me, blankly, then a false smile spread across her lips. I could tell it was false...

"Well...let's talk about that. Why don't you know how to take that, Katie?"

"This is one of the problems. I don't like when people talk to me...well...men. I'm not homosexual, I am attracted to men, but when they talk to me it makes me want to just...just..." I sighed, wanting to pull my own hair out. Wasn't this woman supposed to make me feel not crazy about my damn problems? What the fuck is this shit?

"Go on..."

"Jump off a bridge." I admitted, feeling even loonier than I must have looked.

"I see. Would you consider this a fear?"

"Yes." I said quickly.

"Do you have this problem when females talk to you?" She asked.

"No, not at all...but I do get a feeling that they're judging me, as all people do to each other but I get a feeling that...they're out to get me. Break me down and make me feel awful about myself...like they feel higher than me in...life. I'd much rather just be alone and-"

"What you've just described, seems to me..a phobia of socializing. Which could come from a number of things..."

I looked at her, I've been told the same thing all my life by my one and only friend. What the hell was I paying this lady for if I could have just listened to my friend? My head began to spin. I stood up, grabbing my bag, "I don't feel so good...I'm gonna go...I'll call you to reschedule." I walked out of the room, finding my way back to the waiting room. Matty was still sitting there, he looked up from his lap.

"Hey, that was fast." He said.

"Yeah. Bye." I waved, quickening the pace of my feet.

"Hey wait up," he stood up, I stopped.

"I was wondering...if you wanted to wait for me...and come watch my band rehearse after this?" He asked.

What? Was he a fool? I didn't even know him...a band...I'm trying my best not to laugh...or run...

"Excuse me?"

"I know it seems strange but we've been trying to get an audience that we don't know to kind of tell us if we suck or not, and give us a hear...you would be helping a ton." He said.

"I dunno...I really should get going I-"

"Please?"

"Matthew?" The same woman came out, I tried not to make eye contact with her.

"I don't-"

"Please? Come on, we'll have free drinks." He said, lowering his voice.

"Oh, I don't drink." I shook my head, lowering mine too.

"...I didn't mean alcohol." He laughed, "you remind me of my girlfriend..."

"Matthew...?" Elaine called again.

"Right here just a sec." He held his hand up, still staring at me.

Girlfriend? I sighed on accident, "oh you have a girlfriend? Will she be there?"

"She's dead," He said.

My heart suddenly sped up in pace as he said those words, I suddenly began to feel sorry for him. If she was dead...why would he refer to her as if she still were alive and they'd still been dating? And how could I possibly remind him of her? What did I do? I sighed, feeling the pressure, "alright." I took a seat, watching him walk off with Elaine with a smile on his face.