#mc is a survivor

[karolinevassalor]

MC in trial against Knight.

*have lunchbreak with Sander while Tarhos chase David*

Sander: you not gonna help him?

MC: *Munch* he is a big boy, he'll manage it.

Sander: I dont think so. Boss gonna get him.

MC: i talked about Tarhos.

*David start to run their direction*

*MC use her leg to make David fall*

MC: Dont even think about it. *pat Tarhos shoulder* now he your.

[weadapt]

When Cal is in full Dark Side Rage Mode™, if you obliterate some enemies and take a moment to let his idle animation begin, he will aggressively clip his lightsaber back onto his belt.

[todayinhiphophistory]

Today in Hip Hop History:

Pete Rock released his debut solo album Soul Survivor November 10, 1998

[gladiatorcunt]

han solo wants what atton rand has

[xeymol]

Dramatic shitpost from earlier today

For context I made this because I got mc Donald’s and I had my sketchbook with me which had a mortified monk on it I did for an expression practice and got the idea for this doodle lol

[daylighteclipsed]

Sora and Riku would love Star Wars

[iwrite-sinsandtragedies]

"The start of / the end of — a movie I've seen... before." [prev.]

Step 3 is finished ..•ᐠ.˙( ੭˘ ³˘)੭~`.•ᐟthank˙ .❤•˙. god ｡ﾟ･ﾟ✧˙..

Background below:

[CW: anxiety, depression, eating disorder, PTSD, survivors guilt, Attempted Suicide and Depictions of Self-Harm]

Song: Lizzy McAlpine - ceilings

—

Like a pearl, Ai grows into something preciously beautiful and refined with each passing day. She is not perfect, not as strong as you would expect, but there is something of a quality in her so fine that she is still coveted by those that have found her.

There's an air of grace and confidence in how she moves and acts, learned in part from all her passionate years of dance. Her voice is like crystal chimes, an instrument of music and always two steps from another sweet and tinkling laugh. She's warm and bright with stars in her eyes and love in her heart, influenced through the years in all the very best ways by her family and friends.

And she's not perfect. It's something that has to be said because many people like to think that she is - that the refinement of her self at this blossoming age has been something she never had to work for - but those people simply don't know Ai one bit.

After 13 Ai went through some of the hardest years of her young life. Learning to let people love her (that they could love her - that she was someone to love) learning to let herself change and fail without the fear that it would destroy everything she had grown to love as well. There were still things she had never expressed to her family, likely never would. They still didn't know about the full story of the car crash or why it affected her so, it was something she wouldn't even tell her therapist, and it put a lot of delay on her growth as people struggled to find the source of her ever present anxiety and guilt at simply existing in a world that her first family did not.

But there were lights to guide her: Only Cove, Cliff, Derek and Lee at first - sometimes Ma, when Ai was desperate, eventually mom and Liz as years moved on - but eventually Miranda grew, stubbornly, into the garden of her life and Terri and Jude quickly came with her. They curled around her walls like ivy, surrounded her lonely tower with life and beauty and wonder. With love.

And time passed, and Ai grew with them.

It was Jude that first heard the full tale of the car accident (Miranda was having a sleepover and he found Ai alone, crying in the kitchen after an especially terrible nightmare, he sat there with her all night - listened to her - made her feel safe). The next person to find out was Cliff, who had helped her moms go searching for the girl after an especially terrible fight (they sat in the grass, Ai tucked tightly under his one arm as she cried into his chest. Despite all her beliefs that he wouldn't - Cliff stayed. He said he would always stay). Surprisingly, she was never able to tell the story to Cove. Despite being her dearest, closest everything, Ai was always too afraid for his gentle heart to burden him like that. And so, with her world just a little more wider, a little more brighter, she continued to grow.

When her 18th summer came, Ai couldn't tell you what she had been expecting of it, honestly. Despite all her hard work, all her scholarships and diplomas and good grades, despite the money she'd saved and the plans she'd made. Despite the friends and family she had gained and, most of all, despite all of her growth - Ai suddenly found herself feeling like she did way back then.

Like she was 6 years old all over again.

Her world was suddenly so big and scary and irreversibly about to change before her very eyes and there was no promise she wouldn't be alone again when everything stopped spinning. She hated it.

So, she clung tighter to what she had grown and built. Pulled close everything she cherished, dug her nails in until it bled. She wouldn't expand on her plans when asked, she didn't want to think about them anymore. She just wanted to see tomorrow come and go as it had gone every other day before.

She didn't want to lose everything again.

And so, a Mr. Baxter Alexander Ward was - as he so often would be in her life - the wrench that completely shattered all her plans.

And she loved him.

That first day, that first moment, when he appeared in her life on a quiet sunny street - Ai couldn’t have known what Baxter was going to become to her - but what she did know, as she wrapped him up tight in that warm and welcoming embrace, was that she didn’t want to let him go. That she wanted to hold him close. That he was precious.

That feeling grew with each new day. It was as terrifying as it was exhilarating. He was new, he was change but he wasn’t a bad change. Baxter, like a memory - like a step in a dance she had almost forgotten to take - fit perfectly into a part of herself that she hadn’t thought to still exist. He was her fire, the spark of wildness of her youth that had her take chances and risks that would add gray hairs to her mother’s heads had they only known about it. He looked at her with that smile and all she could ever do was helplessly smile back, only ever take his offered hand at each and every single chance.

They danced and danced and danced until she was dizzy from the spinning and laughing and completely irreversibly in love with him.

And when he faltered, she was there to catch his hand and lead him back.

And they danced.

Into the ocean shallows, into the sprinkle damp grass. After the jingle of summers tune or wrapped up in his clothes, under sparkling night skies. They danced. In early mornings and late evenings, half asleep or a bit tipsy. Stumbling over a creek or on a ship at sea. They danced. Smelling of midnight sweets, dressed up classy or silly or comfy and warm. They danced.

Quietly and closely in the night as they kissed - they danced.

And she loved him.

And it broke her heart.

Song: Lauren Aquilina - Forest Fires

Unbeknownst to Baxter, when he left, he took much much more than just Ai’s 18th summer with him. Much more.

It was as if that fire he had set in her had spread to the very tower in which she lived. All the love and comfort and growth, all the work and hard won progress through every difficult year, all of it went up in a sickening black smoke. All of it burned away like car oil and ash and left her exactly as she had felt on that day when her world had terribly changed.

And Ai broke.

In the following months, the girl everyone had grown to cherish and love became a shell of her former self. The first weeks were the worst - having to watch her waste away with each missed meal and nightmare that kept her awake. Cove slipped through her window nearly every single night, only sleeping in his own bed when she was slipping through his window instead.

Though worried, her friends initially kept their distance on the request of her parents, who worried about her fragile state and wanted to give her time to process and heal. The moment Jude found out about this, he showed up at Ai’s front door and gave everyone a piece of his mind (ultimately, this was the day that the rest of the family found out about the full story behind the car crash). Now, more than ever, was the time they needed to be there for Ai.

The sudden reintroduction of all her dearly loved ones seemed to help things. She started eating, eventually even started to smile again. Found her long lost laugh. The mom’s stopped hearing her nightmares. With each day the world seemed brighter - better - like things might almost be back to okay.

Ai was smiling again.

And so no one expected her attempted suicide.

It was Cove who walked into the kitchen this time. He wasn’t as lucky as Elizabeth - Ai hadn’t missed the artery this time. He had never seen her covered in so much red.

It was little comfort that, while he tried to save her life, Ai's own eyes looked as terrified as his.

But she didn’t die.

No, she survived. She always survived. As little as she wanted to, as little as she believed she deserved to, Ai was still alive.

And she wasn’t alone. That was the part that surprised her most.

Despite the fire - the flames of Baxter’s light that still burned her alive - the world around her tower once again started to grow. Because her mother’s held her as they cried, and her sister wouldn’t let her go. Because Cliff and Cove did exactly the same, because they stayed and would always stay - despite everything they stayed with her. And everywhere she looked, she found another hand and another face that loved her (in Derek and Miranda and Jude and Terri and Lee and more) and the ivy that they planted stubbornly clung to her, and refused to let her go.

Continued to grow.

Ai was never quite the same after Baxter left. She never shone as bright, never laughed in that sweet and tinkling way that they all remembered - but Ai was alive. And maybe she was a bit more quiet now, and maybe she hid behind her hair most of the time, but she was still Ai.

Not perfect. Not as strong as you would expect. Yet still so so endlessly precious to all those who have ever found her. And loved.

[silverstagspirit]

Survivor of Ramshackle -part 1

This is based off a scenario I mentioned earlier in my blog about Yuu's home being destroyed whilst they were away. There will be multiple parts to this.

A/n: I try to make the MC gender neutral, but I'm sorry if I make an error whilst writing. This Yuu is GN, by the way.

Warnings: mild swearing, Angst, Ace implies keeping you hostage as a joke, but Deuce quickly puts him in his place. The later chapters will get darker.

PART 2

-

Everyone had gathered into the mirror chamber to bid Yuu farewell. The boys had really taken a liking to them. Even if they would put them through a lot of trouble at times. Likewise, they loved the boys, too. As each of the boys take thier turns to say goodbye, they admit some tears were shed. Crowley had found a way home for Yuu right after Grim's overblot, but he informed them that once they went back, they would not be able to return unless extra steps were made. Which of course won't happen. And they accepted the offer. After all, they still had a life and a family back home who were wondering where they were.

"It's not fair! I don't want them to go!" Complained a certain fire-eared monster.

"Grim, we cannot just keep 'em hostage here... but that would be a good backup pla- OW!!"

"WE ARE NOT DOING THAT!"

"Did you really have to hit me that hard Deuce? That hurt man."

"Ace, we must respect thier decisions."

"Yeah, I know I know."

It was now Jack's turn to join the conversation. "Plans have been made for you Grim. So you don't have to worry about needing Yuu for school."

"The Great Grim still needs his henchman to do his bidding and clean Ramshackle."

"Just admit it weasel, you're going to miss them too."

"Fgnaahhh!!"

"You're not helping Ace." Epel turns to Grim. "We understand Grim. Yuu has become a great friend to all of us. But it's time to say goodbye."

"Hnnngghh"

"Yuu! Don't go! Who will feed me tuna? Who will scratch my ears? Who will wrap me up in thier jacket during the winter break? I'm ordering you to stay minion!" Grim cried. Yuu kneeled down to comfort him. "Grim, listen to me. I am going back, yes, but I will not forget you. You mean so much to me Grim. But I still have others at the other side of that portal who are waiting for me. I need to meet up with them." You brush a stray tear from his face. "Do me a favor Grim. Stay here, attend your classes and study well. So that when I return to you someday, you will be the Greatest Mage ever like you wanted and we can go on more adventures together. Does that sound alright?" Grim sniffed and nodded. "Please come back some day." "I can't promise it, but I'll try."

"Oi! Herbivore. Just get going already. I want to leave now."Some things never change." They sighed as Leona sulked. Leona wasn't the only one who was feeling annoyed more than sad at this time. They admit that some of these boys were assholes. Some of them have even yet to apologize after all they've put them through. But they won't let that get in the way of the good memories they had in this world. Or at least they hope.

-

Yuu had just said goodbye to the last person when the headmaster came in.

"Prefect! The dark mirror is now ready! You must come immediately if you are to return home!" He hollered.

"Well, here I go."

Yuu stands up to the portal with tears in their eyes. Their heart hammering. This was it. They were finally going home. They can't wait to see their family again. It's been so long. What has changed since they left? Is everyone doing alright? They needed to know. The mirror pulsates with magical energy. Sparking up at some parts. Yuu turned back to look at the other students one last time. Then, with bated breath, they stepped through the portal.

-

"So that's it."

Besides this one remark. The mirror chamber was filled with silence. No one dared say anything. Everyone filed out of the room and went back to thier dorms.

Two idiots were helping Grim settle into Hearstlabyul. And got collared after breaking three Queen of Hearts rules whilst doing so. Trey baked cookies for them so they didn't complain as much after. After they made it to thier room the three students began to chat and banter with each other. Nothing had really changed for them. Same for the other dorms. Vil did his makeup. Idia did his tech. Leona slept. Azul ran the lounge. Overall, nothing had really changed.

"Kalim. You need to do this assignment."

"Oh, sorry Jamil. I'll be right there."

The vice pressed his dormleader to do what needed completion but something was distracting him.

"Do you think Yuu made it back safe?"

"..." Jamil had a suspicion that that was what was on his mind but he was not prepared to answer that question. "I'm sure they're happy Kalim. Now please get this done. Crewel will not show mercy if you fail."

"I know it's just... I have questions: What do they do? What do they have to eat at thier welcome home feasts?-" "I doubt that they have feasts Kalim." Kalim ignored what he said and kept going. "What are thier family like? I mean they are from another world so thier family structure could be different to ours. Hnnnghhh! Why am I only asking these questions now that they are gone?!"

"KALIM!!"

The housewarden went quiet immediately.

"They are fine okay. Yuu would not want you to spend all your time worrying about them. So just relax. They are fine."

Kalim thought about what Jamil just said.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. You're always right Jamil." The boy beamed whilst the vice rolled his eyes.

----------

I apologize for any mistakes. I also edited this into they/them pronouns because I find it easier to write with.

A/N: Go check out probablynoposts blog. They did a series on this prompt whilst this was still in the drafts. They did a very good job I must say. So kudos to them.

Taglist: @kami-kun1003

[catohphm]

I started my Fallout 4 playthrough! I did my best to get a face resembling Chris Pine as I'm playing as my Hogwarts Legacy OC Danny for a HL Fallout 4 AU. Thanks @heyitszev for the amazing feedback! ☺️

[karolinevassalor]

MC:* at Ormond, nothing in but jeans and t-shirt*

MC: Frank, lend me your jacket. Im freezing.

Frank *see MC nibbles trought the shirt* *one braincell mode activated* *proceed to grab them from behind* Are you feel cold? *squeeze*

Mc:*proceed to hook Frank on a nearby one*

Julie: you deserve it.

Frank:... Worth it...

[weadapt]

I think it’s interesting storytelling how in the beginning of the game Cal says the Sixth Sister’s name, Masana Tide, and reminds her of who she used to be—and it visibly distresses her because it hurts what was done to her and Cal isn’t wrong in what he’s saying. The shocking thing for me was the moment when Cal said “It’s time to set you free”. It was such a surreal feeling hearing Cal say that, those kinds of words, to know he decided it was time to strike her down; it’s understandable because she killed his entire crew, but for Cal to be the executioner in that way was scary to see coming after only experiencing the young kid he was in Fallen Order. Now you really get the feeling Cal has been through a lot, he’s grown as a man since Fallen Order and he’s calloused, not entirely in a bad way given he’d have to be to survive but still in a depressing way, as a result. I know overall and gameplay wise, Cal has killed a lot of people, it’s nothing new, but storytelling wise it’s a serious moment for Cal. It’s a moment you know is going to follow him the rest of the game for character development. After he kills her, it’s made clear by the music and by Cal’s body language that this isn’t a good thing coming from him. It isn’t a triumph. Even BD-1 knows and worries for Cal with his little “Boop…?” and Cal is only able to respond rather shakily, “Yeah… I’m okay”.

When he meets up with Bode and Bravo and they ask him what happened to the Inquisitor, he gives a simple, no emotion, “Dead”. The long pause of Bravo not saying anything in response to me says a lot; it feels like he isn’t used to Cal having a reaction like that.

Then we have Rayvis. Cal defeats him in battle and asks him to join in the fight against Dagan. He doesn’t want to kill Rayvis—“You don’t have to do this”. The oddly tragic part to me is that Rayvis has dreams of seeing Tanalorr again. If Dagan succeeds his dream will be realized, but he’s given up on the dream and wants a warrior’s death now. He wants to die, and in his mind, honorably, by Cal’s hands, and he’s going to force Cal to do it. But for Cal it’s another execution on his part. He pauses before he lifts his saber and kills Rayvis. It isn’t a triumph. Again we’re given a sudden swell of music to tell us the emotion behind the action of killing Rayvis. You can see it’s affected Cal badly. BD-1 seems to ask Cal the same question as before, “Boop…?” but this time Cal doesn’t acknowledge the question and just replies, “We should go”.

Killing Dagan hurts for Cal too. Dagan is a Jedi, someone who held onto the Order, who tied his entire identity to it and all of his goals are focused on restoring the Order and fighting to change the universe. Just like Cal in a way. Dagan is single-mindedly focused on the mission, so obsessively, he lost himself and the one he loved as a result. Cal understands and see the parallel of that kind of drive in his own mission against the Empire and it terrifies him. Dagan could’ve helped him fight the Empire but it became another tragic moment of having to kill a once fellow Jedi. This is another tragedy. Bode doesn’t care about Dagan being dead on the floor but Cal does. Cal has enough respect to place Dagan’s lightsaber on his chest. Cal pauses to reflect but Bode immediately gets back to getting the compass.

We have this interesting arch of reactions to killing his opponents. They were each killed for the mission. It was necessary. They each started the fight against him. No matter the reason though, it’s still very painful for Cal.

Cal is being pushed into this direction of forcing him to question his beliefs and who he is. His whole identity at this point has been tied to the Order, of being a Jedi, and it’s very clear by his conversations in Fallen Order that it really matters to who he is. By the end of Survivor, we have three fallen Jedi: Masana Tide, Dagan Gera, and Bode Akuna. So who is Cal Kestis? What will he become? Is he doomed to fall like they did? That’s what troubles him—“Let’s just say I don’t wanna end up like him [Dagan]”.

He’s afraid he’s going to lose himself.

The fear is almost realized when he’s about to kill another opponent. The one behind the murders of his friends and mentors. Cal’s been killing each of his main opponents up to the point at Nova Garon—this one will be no different. Except killing the man who sent Bode on the mission to infiltrate his team is different. Cal is on the edge of losing himself to the Dark Side. In Fallen Order he pleaded for Cere not to use the Dark Side because “She’s stronger than that”, “[she] still had a choice”. But Cal is failing to remember any of that for himself. He wants to kill because he’s angry, grieving, and in immense pain. Merrin has to bring him back—“This is not you!” There’s a question of whether or not Cal would’ve been able to stop himself if Merrin hadn’t been there though.

When we get to the final battle, Merrin is warning Cal of what’s likely going to happen but he ignores her for a while which prompts her to say, “Well? Say something!” He doesn’t want to acknowledge that Merrin is right and they’re likely going to have to kill Bode, and with that, taking Kata’s father away—a loss of family Cal and Merrin know too much about. So they both try and give Bode every chance to stop and turn away from what he’s done, despite how much Bode had hurt them. Sadly, Cal once again is forced into using the Dark Side to prevent Bode from killing Merrin. It was worth it. It was worth using it to save Merrin. He couldn’t let her be killed. He couldn’t see that happen before his eyes like he had with all of his friends and mentors.

After everything is over, there’s this sickly feeling left behind. Not simply because of Bode’s death, but because of the impact on Merrin realizing Kata has lost family just like she and Cal had, but also because of the impact the death of Bode has on Cal. And after Cal carries away Bode’s body, the music changes to an eerie, ominous, high pitch, minor key when we see Cal board the Mantis. The kind of change in music which lets the audience know there’s something seriously wrong. Things are different now. Cal’s different. And he knows it.

He’s lost in time watching the pyre, reflecting on everything that had happened but also on how grateful he is to Cere, but he knows the impact of her loss will continue to be with him for the rest of his life. Just like Jaro Tapal. Another guiding force in his life is gone. With Cere and Cordova gone, there is no longer any Jedi wisdom to seek out. He’s now alone in that way as a Jedi.

“I’m scared… I almost lost myself… I don’t know if I’m ready.”

Cal and the audience are left with the dreadful realization—

“I don’t know if I’m ready for what comes next”.

[todayinhiphophistory]

Today in Hip Hop History:

Pete Rock released his debut solo album Soul Survivor November 10, 1998

[7er1ch0]

BACKGROUNDS ARE A LIE CREATED BY THE GOVERNMENT

Also I feel like Levi would mainly cosplay female characters.

I also have a whole study relating to his relationship to his relationship with cosplay but you know what that's a post for another day, I’m tired. 

[mybrainproblems]

thinking about how 5x04 birthmarks actually sets up house's childhood as being more fucked up than i think the writers intended.

like okay. to run down: john house is abusive towards his son. house deduces that his dad isn't his biological father when he's 12 and confronts him about it. as a result, his dad proceeds to not speak to him for months besides leaving notes at his bedroom door. house's belief that his dad isn't his biological father is eventually vindicated after john's death and he realizes that his mother didn't like his father much either.

which. jesus christ. can we just take a step back and let that sink in? his mother had an affair and house is the result of that. and his mom just..... lets her husband abuse her son? it doesn't sound like she really stepped in at any point to stop it and the only time we see his parents together she makes excuses for her husband's behavior. and like. house is born in 1959 so yes, it's not like his mother could easily leave her husband and i'm not saying that blythe house is evil bc it is a difficult situation given the time period, but the way the narrative frames her (lack of) action in such a passive way vs acknowledging that she's complicit is... really fucked up tbh! and i'm not saying that a victim of child abuse can't love their parents bc it's really complicated! but it's just such a weird thing to toss out there like a dead fish to fester in the sun and do absolutely nothing else with it.

i really don't know that the writers fully thought through the implications of the back story they set up even tho it ends up explaining why house puts up with a lot of really messed up shit from the people around him.

[adoornail]

makint a homestuck comic caleld fentstuck 😔😔 u can guess what thats all abt.. but heres one of my charactersnfor the comic!! shes tweaked lwkey

[cangrellesteponme]

btw to anyone who cares about my thoughts on tsc getting a trilogy:

ngl i was fine with one book. i was fine with jerejean never getting anywhere near romantic territory. it was very emotionally satisfying.

BUT

give me more of jean i love being in jean's head i love him as a narrator it is so so awful and very very triggering but MAN even if i have to take breaks every 5 pages i do not CARE i will be reading books two and three promptly!!