#me: actually getting help and making progress one step at a time despite everything

[magical-reid]

Red Lipstick

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader (No use of Y/N)

Genre: fluff

Content warnings: none

Word count: 1.1K

Summary: At a charity gala in D.C., you stepped out of your comfort zone, wearing bold red lipstick for the first time, only to catch the unexpected attention of Spencer, whose admiration for the change in your appearance hinted at something deeper. As the night progressed, Spencer's fascination with you grew, revealing a new dynamic between you both, marked by a quiet, unspoken connection that neither of you could fully articulate.

It was a rare occasion when the BAU team got a night off, and even rarer when they were all invited to an event. A charity gala in D.C. had extended an invitation to the team for their work in criminal profiling, and despite the long hours they usually put in, everyone was eager to let their hair down for a change.

You had never been one to wear much makeup, but you figured a special night called for a little something extra. You spent more time than usual getting ready, adding a bit of eyeliner and a deep red lipstick that you had always admired but never had the nerve to wear—until tonight.

As you stood in front of the mirror, you applied the lipstick carefully, making sure the lines were even, the color bold. It was striking, a dark red that contrasted with the black dress you had chosen for the event. Your eyes caught the reflection of yourself, your lips full and daring, and you couldn’t help but smile. You felt a little like someone else—someone a bit more glamorous than usual.

The sound of footsteps outside your door broke you from your thoughts. You turned to see your teammates arriving one by one, all dressed in elegant attire. Hotch looked sharp as ever in a tailored suit, Rossi's smile was warm as he made his way over to you, and JJ’s dress was nothing short of stunning.

But Spencer stood frozen in the doorway when he saw you.

He was wearing a dark blue blazer, the sleeves rolled up just enough to give him a relaxed yet polished look, but his gaze was fixed on you. It was like everything in the room faded out, and it was just the two of you. His eyes were wide, almost unblinking as they traced the contours of your face, focusing on your lips.

You felt a flutter of self-consciousness wash over you, but you forced a smile. “Hey, Spencer. You ready to go?”

Spencer didn’t answer immediately. His gaze flicked between your eyes and your lips. You raised an eyebrow in amusement. “Spencer?”

He blinked, as though snapping out of a trance. “Uh, yeah. Yes. I’m—” He swallowed. “You look... beautiful. You—your lipstick. It’s very… striking.” His voice trailed off as he struggled to find the right words.

You chuckled softly. “Thanks. It’s a bit bold, I guess, but I thought, why not?”

Spencer didn’t respond, his gaze still lingering on your lips. You noticed his hands were slightly clenched, as if he were trying to control the impulse to reach out. It made you wonder what exactly was going on in that brilliant, overactive mind of his.

"Spence?" You teased lightly, feeling a little playful now, sensing that the usual quiet and reserved Spencer was a bit out of his depth. "You’re staring."

His cheeks flushed, a rare but telltale sign that you had caught him off guard. "Oh! I—uh—sorry. I didn’t mean to—"

You shrugged, stepping a little closer to him, letting your eyes meet his with a mischievous glint. "It’s okay, Spence. I’ll admit, I’m not used to this much attention. Maybe you’re just not used to seeing me like this."

He swallowed again, his gaze flickering back to your lips before meeting your eyes. There was a curious tension in the air, thick with something unspoken.

“I’ve just never seen you wear lipstick like that,” Spencer said quietly, his voice low and almost hesitant. “It’s—well, it’s different. But in a good way. It’s...” He trailed off, clearly trying to put his thoughts together. “It’s captivating, actually.”

You could hear the genuine admiration in his voice, but there was something more—an intensity in his words that made your heart race slightly. Spencer, the genius who was so precise with his words, was stumbling now, as if he were trying to unravel a mystery that was right in front of him.

“Well, thank you,” you said softly. You could feel the warmth in your cheeks, the sensation of being caught in his gaze, of having all his attention focused solely on you.

It was then that Hotch stepped into the room with a bemused smile. "Okay, I think we’re all ready to head out. You two coming?"

You turned toward Hotch and nodded, feeling the moment between you and Spencer break, but not without leaving something behind. Something unspoken, something that felt just a little different from the usual camaraderie you shared.

As you all made your way to the event, Spencer’s attention still seemed divided. His eyes would flicker toward you, and every time he caught a glimpse of your lips, his gaze would soften, just a fraction.

The evening passed in a blur of laughter, conversation, and elegant people, but through it all, you noticed Spencer always seemed to find a way to look at you—more than he usually did. He wasn’t rude, but there was a quiet fascination in his expression. And when you’d laugh, or smile, or talk to someone else, you’d catch him looking at you, his eyes following every movement your lips made.

It wasn’t until the night was drawing to a close, and the team was making their way out of the event, that Spencer finally spoke again.

“You know,” he said quietly, stepping beside you as you both walked toward the cars, “I think… I think that lipstick looks even better on you now than it did when you first put it on.”

You chuckled, a little breathless at how genuine his words were. "Spencer, you’re not just saying that because you’re trying to be polite, are you?"

He shook his head, his smile small but sincere. "No. I mean it. There’s something about it... I don’t know, it just—it suits you. It’s like it draws everything out, makes everything else stand out, too."

You smiled softly at him, your heart a little warmer than before. “Well, I’m glad you like it,” you said, unable to stop the teasing edge from creeping back into your voice. "But it’s just lipstick, Spence. It doesn’t change who I am."

He looked at you, and for a moment, you could see the gears turning in his mind. "Maybe," he said quietly, "but it sure makes you even more... intriguing."

Your lips curled into a soft smile, and you felt a sense of connection that was deeper than the superficiality of the evening. Spencer Reid had always been someone who noticed the smallest details, but tonight, his attention was on you in a way that felt both humbling and exhilarating. You weren’t sure if he was fully aware of what he was saying, but in that moment, it didn’t really matter.

It was just the two of you, and the lipstick, and something new between you both that neither of you had the words for yet.

[spinchip]

Never the dark 7, 10 [dareth x Cyrus, it's not a pairing I've seen before and it humors me in a good way], and 11?

[ask meme]

YAAAY THANK YOUUU

7: Where did the title come from?

Bury Me Low by 8 Graves! I was listening to this song a LOT when conceptualizing the fic and I feel like the whole thing kinda describes Zane in the fic. In retrospect, I do kinda wish I had named it something smoother, I had a few ideas for what I might change it to (Inside the Dark, Forsaken Dark, and [redacted because i might be using it for another project teehee]) but I do like Never the Dark and I think i'll keep it lol

the funniest thing about this song is that I played it so much I got sick of it and now I wont listen to it

If I die today, it won't be so bad I can escape all the nightmares I've had All of my angry and all of my sad Gone in the blink of an eye I've seen the devil. I've shaken his hand I've seen the evil that dwells in a man For all of my wisdom, I can't understand ...... If I die today, it won’t be so hard Everything scares me, but never the dark

10: Why did you choose this pairing for this particular story?

Polyninja because I love them and the fucked up relationship dynamic post zanedeath called to me.

Pixal/Skylor has always been awesome but I included it here specifically because of how I view their character actions in the three year time skip. Skylor joins the ninja a few month after Zane dies and despite the fact that they don't harbor any ill will towards her, Zanes absence is a fresh wound that it feels like she's trying to step into. It makes everyone bleed. No one is coping well and things get messy and tense between skylor, the ninja, and pixal until Skylor has a mental breakdown and removes herself from the team (trauma response due to the nature of how her father raised her.) Skylor was never part of the team- she's not been there from the beginning, so she's an outsider. And so is Pixal. (Not intentionally of course, but the others share a different kind of grief that the two don't.) Cyrus eventually convinced Pixal to go to therapy where she gets some clarity on things and reaches out to Sky to apologize again for any role she played in the teams tension with her. She invites Skylor over for dinner and they accidentally end up talking for 6 hours- and the rest is history

(Skylor IS on good terms with the ninja btw. they apologized and hashed things out- but she won't rejoin the team for a lot of different reasons.)

Coppershipping my beloved. new-ish in the ficverse! They were starting to be more friendly with eachother after zanedeath, and that progressed post s11. Dareth took his grief at losing Zane as motivation to get in better shape and actually try and train, so he hits the gym and puts on a lot of muscle. takes up boxing. He wants to be able to do more to help if something happens again. He ends up putting his new skills to use protecting Cyrus from something or another and Cyrus asks him to be his bodyguard. They spend a lot of time together and fall in love teeheehee

also, fun fact for you, Dareth handmade all the ninja suits they wear in NTD!

11: What do you like best about this fic?

oh man. Is it bad to say the fact that it's almost finished? I'm just really proud I've been able to stick with it and put in the time and effort. I've got a pretty spotty track record with chaptered work- i lose motivation and drop things a lot, unfortunately. But i'm still dedicated to finishing NTD!

and im really proud of the wordcount! 100k!!!!!!! WAOW

[sulfurousdreamscapes]

How I Hacked My Short Story Brain into Developing a Novel

I promised I'd make this post, so here it is, but with a proper title and everything so that it'll be more generally helpful to other writers.

Regulars of this blog have probably noticed that I've struggled a lot with long-form fiction over the years, despite having churned out a library's worth of short fiction.

This time though, things are coming together, and it's because I've got a technique down that plays to my strengths as a short story writer.

Step 1: Outline and Draft Something

After writing and abandoning several outlines for my WIP Last Night, New Body, I finally set one in stone and wrote a draft for it this January.

The rough, first, skeleton draft was 30,000 words long - far from ideal, but better than nothing. It was tough, but I got it done in two months.

Step 2: Read Through and Take Notes

Next, I read through the draft and took notes on how I thought the novel could be improved. This included notes on plot, characters, and setting. The notes were all taken in a spread sheet in the following format:

Page Number -> Note Title -> Description -> Category

The 'Note Title' could be something witty or referential, but it has to be short, like the name of an achievement in a video game. So for example, it could be:

23 -> Enemy at the Gates -> Why does Nadia shut the door when she sees that Rhea has come to visit? -> Character

I took these notes freely, writing down any point that I thought could be changed, expanded, removed, or otherwise mused.

Once I was done with these notes, the question arose: what the hell do I do with these notes?

Step 3: Treat the Notes As Writing Prompts

This step is in-progress at the moment, but I'm halfway through it already! The idea is to take each note and write 500 words for it.

This comes naturally to me because I've written hundreds upon hundreds of flash fiction pieces for my blog, each one targetted for 500 words. This means I'm now developing the novel 500 words at a time, based on the notes I took while reading through the skeleton draft.

The process has been beautifully productive so far, and I've come up with so much detail, so many new scenes, and better developed characters. My next draft will be assuredly be much longer than the 30k words I got down before.

So how long will this take? That depends on how many notes you take. I initially took 72 notes, but I've found that as the story develops and changes, I've had to "delete" many notes because they became redundant or irrelevant. I say delete in quotes because I've actually moved them to a 'recycle bin' sheet of sorts, so that I can retrieve them later if I deem them important after all.

Next Steps? Outline and Draft the Thing

I'm generating a lot of meat for the skeleton draft, and I'm dying to put that meat on the bones. To do that, I plan on first constructing a very detailed outline, including as much detail from the expanded notes (the 500-word pieces) as possible.

This done, I'll write the 'flesh draft' while referencing both this outline and the skeleton draft. As excited as I am for this, I do anticipate this process to be difficult, so I might find a way to divide it into small, short story sized chunks as well.

Then come the edits and everything else. We'll cross those bridges when we get there.

[malusokay]

Hi! How are you? I’ve been reading your blog for a while and I love it so much! I listened to your advice about therapy and how it has helped you so I’m gonna try it out and talk to my family about it since I now am old enough and that I have a job. I’m trying to get more confident and secure within myself. I also wanted to ask for more advice from you as someone who has gone to therapy, is there any advice or tips you would recommend for someone who is 17 trying to do better from in and out and build a brand new life that is wonderful? I know you have so many tips on everything and you are so wise I just don’t know where to finally begin to start or in what order is right. Or what advice from you to follow? I want a new start, and a better physical start so I can build myself up to be better and I don’t wanna go back to any old habits and I wanna build a new better me. Any advice would help

Thank you again! Love you!

It makes me so happy to hear that you're taking such amazing steps to better yourself, when it comes to therapy there are quite a few tips I can share since I was in therapy from 13 to 18. <33

Try being honest with your therapist. during my earlier years of therapy, I did nothing but lie and lie and lie and lie. I would have progressed much quicker if I had just dared to speak up, but sometimes it takes time; despite my many lies, I still learned so so so much.

If you can't say it, write it down. when I got older, I switched to a different therapist; with her, I did this thing where if I had something I needed to tell her but I couldn't get myself to say it, I would write it to her, and she would then find a way to guide me through it.

establish little routines with your therapist. just like I did with the writing thing, therapists are there to help you, so if you, for example, struggle to speak up, discuss that with your therapist and find a way to work around that.

keep a diary. many therapists suggest writing "daily or weekly reports", but I mean a REAL diary. one that's just for yourself and no one else, where you really write down how you feel and pour out all your worries and emotions because you know no one but you will ever read it. my diary literally keeps me sane.

as stupid as this may sound... the whole "work out, eat well, sleep, go outside, drink water bla bla bla" that every doctor tells you... it, unfortunately, actually works. every time someone said that to me, I just wanted to scream because it sounded so silly, but now that I'm better, those are the things I do to stay feeling good, so maybe they weren't all that wrong after all...

I hope this little list can help you get started on your journey, and if you have any more questions, need to talk, or want to update me/us on how things are going, please just feel free to send me another ask, and I'll be happy to listen or give advice in any to me possible way!!

You've got this ad I love you <33

[aashi-heartfilia]

Ochako's arc in the FINAL saga has been phenomenal and people love to shit on it!!

Ever since the final act began, Ochako has been one of the major game changers!! It all started with ch 306 when Deku left UA. THIS WAS THE START OF THE FINAL SAGA AND WE ALREADY GOT AN EPIC MONOLOGUE FROM OCHAKO ABOUT HEROES, HEROISM...AND THE HERO SOCIETY!

Heroes were being sifted out. If heroes were defined as those people called for, then the heroes disappeared that day. But even so, there were still those standing up.

When asked about "All for One" Endeavour said "I don't know" in order for no stones to be thrown at Deku and All Might.

But if a hero is a figure that never falters then who is for them when they are in pain?

It was such an emotional punch on her face, because the person she considered as a true hero was thrown into an open field full of dangerous villains to fight.

And the next time we see her, she has already grown so much as a person and as a hero.

Despite the odds she convinced the angry civilians to let Deku stay and recover. She understood that even heroes are people and they need help. Her build up as the next All Might starts from here, not in terms of power but in terms of impact she made or she will make on people's hearts.

It gave an answer to her own question, WHO SAVES THE HEROES WHEN THEY ARE IN PAIN?

Even Principal Nezu acknowledged that "Tolerance, lack of understanding, we are just one step away as humanity struggles to make progress. Taking the first step is always hard, but taking a step at a time like this will lead to the birth of a true hero, one that will surpass All Might"

The story clearly tells us to watch Ochako as she becomes the Hero of Heroes, the 'ultimate' hero that will surpass even All Might and yet people sleep over this plot and call her an underdeveloped character.

I know, she wasn't the main focus of the story for the longest time, but ever since Horikoshi started giving her the attention she deserved, her storyline has been superb!!

Her story starts with the realisation that even heroes are normal people that need help and as the society has fallen into chaos, it will need the support from everyone to fix everything.

Both heroes and the civilians will have to cooperate for a better future where they can all smile together but in the same speech, she realised that even people like Toga came in that list. She also deserves to smile and that when her arc of understanding/saving the villains starts.

This arc had been building up in the background for a long time but just in two chapters, Horikoshi actually highlighted the major conflict between the two and I dare say it was done even better than Deku and Shigaraki who had no major build up or tension between them other than their chat at the mall which was like 5 seasons ago.

Now, in the actual battle she held her own against Toga despite being pushed into a corner again and again by Toga's clones, and managed to get her point across.

Even though Toga stabbed her, even though Toga held Tsuyu hostage, even though everything was falling in chaos, she saw the sadness inside of Toga and made it weightless, just like her quirk.

Also, heroes were literally dying with Twice's clones!!! And they were spread to all battlefields!! If it hadn't been for Ochako, maybe the entire Todoroki family, Iida, Hawks and various other heroes would have died!!

This was literally her "I AM HERE!!" moment!!!

After her quirk awakening, after her confrontation with Toga, after saving Tsu, Jirou, Hawks and various other heroes at the GUNGA BATTLEFIELD, people calling Ochako an underdeveloped character will never not be funny to me. Horikoshi even stated it word-to-word for people who were reading this manga with their brains closed...

UNDERUTILISED YES, but UNDERDEVELOPED? NO!! NO!! NO!!

[forhappysake]

What Lurks Within, Pt. 2

Author’s Note: I told myself if I got ten responses to Part 1 that I’d do a Part 2. Here it is!

Content: Upon arriving in Denver, Spencer and Y/N visit the latest crime scene. After meeting with the case detective, the BAU discovers they are working against an unsub who is much closer to the team than initially anticipated. 

Warnings: Typical BAU-level violence, hom!c!de, examining a crime scene, established relationship, very light fluff, a hostile work environment and brief arguments ensue

I slept dreamlessly on our flight, until I felt someone gently shaking me. Wincing at the sudden intrusion of light as I opened my eyes, Spencer’s voice greeted me, “Well hello, sleepyhead. Welcome to Denver.” I groaned, groggily rubbing my eyes. 

“That’s not possible, I just went to sleep,” I mumbled, exasperated. I pulled myself off his shoulder and leaned back in my seat, shutting my eyes again.

“Actually, you went to sleep about three and a half hours ago. We’re here, honey.” I felt his long fingers gently comb through my messy hair. 

“What time is it?” I asked, dreading his response. 

“About three in the morning, our time,” he answered. I audibly groaned. Opening my eyes once more, I saw Matt bent over Luke, trying to wake him from his slumber. Emily was shaking Rossi’s shoulder, to which he responded with some very colorful Italian phrases. JJ was the only member who stood ready to exit the jet. 

“Glad to know I’m not the only one struggling to get up,” I said matter-of-factly. I rolled my neck, trying to release the tension that had formed while leaning against Spencer for hours. “Has anyone ever told you that you don’t make a very good pillow?”

“Only you, honey,” he smiled. “Come on, let’s get off this jet and into the car. You can sleep for a couple more minutes on the way to the local precinct, if it makes you feel any better.” He rose from his seat, stretching his hand out to me. I reached for his hand, wrapping my fingers around his wrist. He gently pulled me up from my seat. “Don’t forget your go-bag.” 

“I’ve got it under control, my genius,” I said with a smile. Grabbing my bag from the seat, I turned one last time to see if Emily and Matt had made any progress with waking up Rossi or Luke. Thankfully, Luke had arisen. He slowly stood up and reached his arms for the ceiling, stretching out as I had done moments before. Rossi, on the other hand, was fighting Emily’s attempts with everything in him. 

“I run this ship. Hasn’t anyone told you not to poke the bear? Let this old man rest.” Rossi swatted at Emily’s hand on his shoulder. 

A playful smile tugged at the corner of Emily’s lips. She pulled back, placing her hands on her hips, “Need I remind you that I technically run this ship now, and that you’re batting at your superior?” Rossi bitterly opened one eye. Sighing, he rose from his seat with a grunt. 

“It’s unfortunate when they get so old that they can’t move without groaning,” Emily said, to which Rossi offered a deathly glare. I couldn’t help but giggle, as I turned back towards the door of the jet. JJ and Spencer stood on the stairs, watching the comical show unraveling in front of us. 

“You think that he’d eventually learn to wake up with some level of grace,” Spencer said while taking the final steps off the jet and on to the tarmac. 

Luke’s voice came from behind me, “Nah, he’s too old, too set in his ways.” I nodded in agreement. As the rest of the team filed off the jet, the cold Colorado air sent a chill down my spine. Rossi stumbled down the stairs with his go-bag in-hand as he covered his eyes with sunglasses, despite the total darkness surrounding us. 

“Tough night, Rossi?” Matt asked, teasingly. 

“You have no idea, kid,” Rossi retorted, making his way to the closest of the three black SUVs which awaited our arrival. Opening the back, driver’s side door, he threw his go-bag in the seat across from him, climbed inside, and slammed the door shut. The window tint prevented us from seeing him any longer. The team let out a collective giggle. 

“Alright,” Emily said, shaking her head, “time to get serious. JJ and Matt, I want you guys to work on victimology. Head to the Denver station. Get everything you can from Garcia and the local P.D. about the victims and their families.” JJ and Matt nodded. “Oh- and take Luke with you,” Emily shouted as an after-thought. 

Luke furrowed his brow. “She forgot I was here,” he said in a tone of faux offense. He placed a hand over his chest, as if nursing a broken heart. 

Emily rolled her eyes, “Cut me some slack, it’s three in the morning.” With that, Luke shrugged and followed JJ and Matt to the second black SUV. “As for you two,” Emily turned to Spencer and I, “You’re going to the latest dump site at Ashwood Park. It should still be an active crime scene. See if you can pick up anything that local law enforcement might have missed.” 

You and Spencer nodded in unison. “Where are you and Rossi going?” Spencer asked. Emily sighed, lips becoming a thin line in displeasure. She crossed her arms over her body. 

“David and I are also going to the local P.D. to meet with the police chief in private,” she shook her head in disappointment. “I have been very displeased with the way this case is being handled and the lack of communication from their department, and I intend on letting them know.” 

“Ah,” Spencer said. I nodded in understanding. It was only fitting that the police chief knew what an absolute disaster his team had created. 

Suddenly, a whirring noise signaled the rolling down of an SUV window and Rossi’s voice came bellowing from the back seat, “Emily, are we going or what?” Without turning her head, Emily raised her eyebrows. 

“I love dealing with him when he’s like this,” she mumbled. 

“Like what?” I asked, knitting my eyebrows together. 

“When he’s hungover and pissed because a case took him away from his poker night,” she said with a smile. “Emily,” Rossi’s voice came from the SUV again. “I’m cold, I have a headache. Let’s get moving.” 

“Good luck, you two… though I think I’ll need it more,” she turned and made her way to the SUV, hopping in the driver’s seat. Rossi, still in the back seat, slowly rolled up his window, disappearing behind the tinted glass. I looked up at Spencer, who tried to suppress his smile. It was all pretty hilarious, truly. 

“Well, enough of that,” Spencer said. “Time to get serious.” I nodded in agreement.

“Who's driving?” I asked. 

Spencer raised his eyebrows incredulously. “Are you kidding me? I am never letting you drive again after experiencing your behind-the-wheel ‘skills’ last week in Miami.” He accentuated the word ‘skills’ with air quotes. 

I let my jaw drop in fake disgust. “Whatever do you mean? You mean you don’t like going 115 in a 75?”

“That is exactly what I mean, as well as several other bad aspects of your driving we don’t have time to get into. Come on.” Making our way to the SUV, Spencer climbed into the driver’s seat and I into the passenger’s seat. 

Spencer started the vehicle, fumbling to turn the heat up. He opened the maps application on the SUV’s touch screen, “Emily should’ve sent directions to the park to your tablet. Can you pull them up on the screen, please?” You pulled your tablet out of your bag and shared the directions Emily provided to the SUV screen. “Alright,” Spencer said, “Off we go.”

Driving in silence for thirty minutes, you soaked up the new sights of Colorado. After only a year and a half with the team, you’d yet to work a case here. You were a bit disappointed you wouldn’t be able to experience the fun side of the state because of this case. As a result, you made a mental note to pay attention to possible vacation activities for you and Spencer to consider before your next trip.

Arriving at the park, Emily was correct about the location being an active crime scene. Photographers, policemen, and yellow tape surrounded the scene. Despite the large police presence, the number of media outlets set up around the park was doubly concerning. 

“The unsub getting all this media attention can’t be good,” I said to Spencer before climbing out of the SUV. He bobbed his head in agreement as he climbed out the driver’s side. 

“Agents,” a local detective approached us. His thick black mustache and shaggy hair made him look like a 70s porn star. I reached out my hand, offering a firm handshake as Spencer offered a small wave of his hand. “Welcome to Denver. I’m Detective Whittendon,” he said as he returned my handshake, offering Spencer a curt nod of acknowledgement. 

“Detective Whittendon, I’m Agent L/N. This is Dr. Spencer Reid.” I tried to recite the formal introductions Emily taught me as efficiently as possible, “The BAU is here to assist your team in any way we can.” 

“Thank God. We need all the help we can get on this one. If you’ll follow me this way…” He trailed off as he turned to face the taped-off scene behind him. Spencer and I followed him close behind, approaching the yellow crime scene tape, attached to a blue swing set which roped off the area.  

I saw the body before we’d crossed under the tape. With a slashed throat and heavy bruising covering his naked body, he had surely been in captivity before his death. We ducked under the tape and approached the body. Spencer crouched down, examining the ligature marks on the victim’s wrists and ankles. “Who’s the victim?” Spencer asked, looking up at Detective Whittendon. 

“Thirty-five year old bank teller, Jeff Olsen,” Whittendon said, not taking his eyes off the body. In a lot of ways, Olsen’s appearance reminded me of Spencer. Brown hair, stubbled face, thin frame and tall build. What if that was Spencer on the ground? I forced myself to look away, drawing a shaky breath. No time for what-ifs and unfounded fears, Y/N… Get it together… 

“These ligature marks suggest he was in captivity for days before his death,” I vocalized. Spencer and Whittendon nodded. 

“This means the unsub has a place he can hold these men. It’s private enough that he can get away with beating and torturing them before he kills them,” Spencer surmised. 

Whittendon looked at me. “We’ve got a team working on a geographical profile to try and narrow down possible locations of his hide-out,” he said. 

“Detective Whittendon,” I started, “with all due respect, your department has not been very forthcoming with correct information about the dump sites and manner of death in these cases.” The detective cocked his head to the side, furrowing his brow. He brought a hand up to his face, rubbing over the stubble on his unshaved cheeks. 

“Agent L/N, that doesn’t make sense. I personally file those reports and hand them over to the tech team. I’m very thorough. There must be some mistake.” I tried to read his face for any sign that he may be lying, or that he might have some doubts about his own carelessness. If he had a tell, I didn’t notice. I turned my attention back to Spencer, who narrowed his eyes as he also tried to analyze Whittendon’s response. 

I nodded, believing his claim for the time-being. “We’ll ask our technical analyst about it when we return to the local office,” I said. “Until then, have your crime scene technicians found any clues throughout the area?” 

Whittendon shook his head, “Nothing… well, except for this.” He walked over to a small table set up by the crime scene investigators, gently picking up a bag. Whittendon held the bag out to me, and I took it gently from his hands. Inside the clear bag was a small red marble, with white swirls surrounding the fragile class it was made from. 

“And where was this found?” Spencer asked, rising from his crouched position next to the body and leaning over me to get a better look at the marble. 

“In the victim’s mouth,” Whittendon said, shifting uncomfortably on his feet. “I believe it was put there post-mortem.”

“Has this been a theme throughout all the crime scenes?” I asked, handing the bag back to Whittendon. 

He accepted the bag, turning to place it back on the CSI table. “Yes,” he said. “There’s been a marble found at each scene. However, this was the first time it’s been placed inside the victim rather than dropped next to the body.” His eyes scanned Spencer and I’s faces for our thoughts on the strange calling card. I made eye contact with my boyfriend, who returned my gaze. 

“This is something we didn’t know about until now,” I told Whittendon. His jaw dropped a bit, eyes bulging incredulously. 

“I’ve included this detail in all my final reports. You’re telling me none of this information got to D.C.?” He ran his hands over his face in frustration. I shook my head in response. “I’ll have a talk with my tech team when I get back to the office… I can’t believe this sh-” he turned away from Spencer and I once more, ducking back under the police tape and walking away from the scene. 

“What do you think, Spence?” I asked. He walked around the victim’s body once more, returning to stand by my side. He gently grabbed me by the arm, pulling me away from the photographers and crime scene analysts still examining the scene. “Where are we going?” Taking me in the opposite direction Whittendon had just gone, and ducking under the crime scene tape, he stopped us behind some of the park’s small trees. 

We were out of earshot from the locals, and a serious look crossed Spencer’s face as he looked around to make sure nobody was listening to us once more. “Spencer, what is going on?” I asked. 

“I think someone inside the local police department is disrupting the investigation by altering the files. You saw the way Whittendon looked when he found out we hadn’t gotten the information he set aside for us,” his tongue dashed out over his lower lip before he continued. “We should get back to the precinct and tell the rest of the team what’s going on.”

I nodded fervently. “You’re right. I’ll tell Whittendon that our unit chief wants us back at the office. You call JJ and tell her to gather everyone in the conference room. Let her know we’re on our way.” He slipped his phone out of his pocket, dialing numbers while I began looking for Whittendon. When I found him, he stood by himself, smoking a cigarette in the parking lot behind a patrol car, hiding from the local media. 

“These damned reporters. All they ever want is more gore and another quote for their headline,” he took another draw of his cigarette before dropping it on the parking lot and stamping it out with his boot. 

“I know how it is,” I responded, resting a kind hand on his shoulder. Gently pulling my hand away, I cleared my throat. “Detective, I came to tell you that our unit chief requested Dr. Reid and I head over to the precinct.” 

Whittendon looked down at me and nodded. “I’m sure I’ll see both of you there. I sent a message to my tech team. We’ve got a very serious conversation to have,” he said with a deep sigh. 

“Of course, we’ll see you there,” I responded. Despite his concern, I refused to tell Whittendon what Spencer suspected was happening within his department. You can never be too careful. You never know whose side someone might be on. 

I heard footsteps approaching and turned to see Spencer coming towards us. “The team knows we’re on the way,” he said. “Are you ready to go?” I turned back to Whittendon one more time, who offered me a small nod, as if to say he didn’t need any more from us at the moment. 

“Yes, let’s go.” I turned away from the detective and followed Spencer back to the black SUV he’d left in the parking lot. We climbed in our respective seats as Spencer started the vehicle, and I plugged the precinct’s address into the SUV’s digital map.

“I guess Emily was right,” Spencer said as he slowly pulled out of the park’s parking lot. “We do have our work cut out for us, here.” I took a deep breath in response, leaning my head back against the passenger’s seat headrest as I tried to replay the conversations we’d just had in our mind, wondering if I’d missed anything. “You alright?” Spencer asked, reaching a hand over to rest on my thigh. 

“Yeah, Spence,” I said, “just taking some mental notes and making sure I didn’t miss anything.” The rest of the trip was made in silence, as the twenty minute drive to the precinct felt like hours with the weight of Spencer’s suspicion resting on both of our shoulders. After we arrived, we walked inside. I scanned the room for familiar faces, and saw Matt standing in the conference room with Luke, JJ, Rossi, and Emily all gathered around the large table. 

“Lead the way,” I told Spencer, gesturing to the conference room. We walked through the desk-crowded office to the conference room, Spencer holding the door open for me as I slipped in behind him. I heard a small click as he pressed the door knob’s lock into place, as I got to work shutting the blinds so any local workers wouldn’t be able to see what was happening inside. 

“What is going on with you guys?” JJ asked. “You’re locking this place up like Fort Knox.” She raised an eyebrow as Matt placed his hands on his hips. Luke cocked his head to the side, silently questioning our actions. Rossi and Emily leaned back in their chairs, preparing for whatever bombshell we were about to drop.

Once I closed the last blind, I turned to face the group as Spencer made his way to the head of the table. “Sit here, Matt. We’ve got a lot to discuss,” I gestured to the seat next to me. Without saying a word, Matt sat down next to me, folding his arms in front of him as Spencer settled into his chair. 

“Okay,” I nodded, “go ahead, Spence.” 

“Okay.” He sat up straight, eyeing the team. “I think I know why the communication we’ve received from this office has been so awful.” 

Emily lifted her head in interest. “I wish you’d enlighten us, Spencer. Police Chief Graydon was no help on that front.” 

Spencer paused for a moment, taking a deep breath before continuing, “I believe someone in this department is the unsub… or working to protect him.” The room was silent as glances were exchanged between members. 

“That’s a heavy accusation. What are you basing this on, kid?” Rossi asked. Spencer looked down at the table, furrowing his brow. 

“Y/N and I just met with the detective on the case. He swears he sent us files that were accurate and entirely thorough. He was genuine about it, too.” I nodded to the group, showing my agreement with Spencer’s conclusion. 

“Whittendon wasn’t lying,” I said. “I think he’s a good cop. Somebody in this department is trying to throw us off the trail.” The tension in the room was high as I scanned the faces of our team members. Heavy as the accusation was, it seemed as though they were accepting it with some level of belief. 

“If that’s the case,” JJ began, “how should we proceed?” She looked at Emily for guidance. Emily rocked back in her chair, carefully calculating her next statement. 

“We should keep our cards close to our chest,” Emily answered slowly. “Be helpful to the locals, but don’t get too friendly. Any new developments that come out of this room are only to be shared between the seven of us.” We all nodded in unison, taking in the severity of the situation. Dealing with a difficult department was one thing, but trying to find a criminal within one was a different game altogether. 

“With that being said,” Rossi spoke up, “try not to make it too obvious that we’re keeping things under wraps. Just be casual about it, make it seem like FBI protocol.” Murmurs of agreement went up around the group. 

Spencer opened his mouth to speak again, but was cut off by a loud crashing sound coming from the main bullpen of the precinct. We all jumped out of our seats. Luke began making a dash for the door. “Wait!” I said, stopping him in his tracks. Being closest to the window, I peeked through the blinds to see what was happening in the office. Detective Whittendon stood over a young man, as the worker’s shattered computer monitor laid on the floor next to their feet. “Uh-oh,” I said. 

“What is it?” JJ asked with quiet urgency, hand resting on her holster. 

“I think Detective Whittendon and his tech team are having a little disagreement… I’ll go talk to him.” I turned away from the blind and reached for the door handle when Spencer’s voice cut me off. 

“Y/N,” Spencer said, “do you really think it's a good idea for you to go out there and try and talk to him while he’s clearly in a fit?” More yelling came from the bullpen, and I snuck a glance out the blinds to see Whittendon face to face with the tech worker. 

“He’s a good guy, I’ve got this,” I said, shrugging at Spencer. Opening the conference room door did nothing to tear Whittendon’s scathing look away from the worker, nor to lower the volume of his shouting. 

“You no-good son of a bitch!” Whittendon exclaimed. “I want to know what happened to my original files, and I want to know now!” He emphasized ‘now’ by slamming his open hand on the worker’s desk. The worker seemed to cower in fear. 

“Sir, all I did was send over the file I received. Honest. I never even opened-” Whittendon’s sharp look cut the worker off. 

I slowly made my way towards the pair. Stepping in between them, I spoke. “Detective, I think you should step out and cool off for a minute,” I said. Whittendon acknowledged my presence for the first time, eyes flickering down at me before glancing over my head at the worker. 

“I’ll be back, Richie,” Whittendon said. “By the time I am, I hope you’ve come up with a better explanation for what happened to my goddamn files.” With that, Whittendon turned sharply and headed for the precinct door, stepping out into the cold Colorado night. 

To be continued! :)

[angelanimedesaray]

Wings in the Dark Chapter 30: Stability (Teaser)

Levi found the work going by much faster, more comfortably, with her there…and not just because she was doing a small portion of it for him.  The pages went by faster, the work didn't feel so tiring, and suddenly there were only a few stray papers in the piles she'd sorted for him left to do.  Y/N had wandered over to the couch once she'd done what she could, laying down with a soft whoosh of air that barely resembled a sigh.  She didn't speak while Levi continued to work, the candlelight growing smaller and the shadows longer until Levi decided enough was enough.  What remained were pages he could do in the morning, there were other things he could be doing right now–and wanted to do.

Levi carefully removed his cravat, fingers brushing against the bandage he'd forgotten was hidden beneath.  It definitely stopped bleeding by now, he could probably take the damned thing off.

It was a slight detour, but he came back minus a jacket, cravat, and bandage, the small bite wound properly cleaned up and hardly noticeable, and Y/N was still stretched out on the couch, having not made a sound or so much as twitched.

…Dammit, she's asleep, isn't she?

Levi didn't even have to come all the way around the couch to confirm it, he could peer over the edge and see that she was passed out asleep, lips parted, head turned into the cushions and pillowed under one arm, breathing slow and deep.

So much for spending a bit of one on one time together before getting some sleep.  He’d been hoping to have a bit of time to set aside business and the serious stuff and simply reassure himself that she was all right and with him, but if this was the most he would get…

His sigh was admittedly a disappointed one, even as he leaned against the edge of the couch with folded arms and watched her for a few moments.  How comfortable did she have to be around him to fall asleep on the not-that-comfortable couch that quickly, and with so little fuss?

She’d come a long way to get where she was now.  To go from scared barely adult just turned vampire driven underground, to now a cornerstone member of the Scouts (even if it was behind closed doors, only), improving the safety of the formations so they didn’t lose as many people, making plans that actually sounded plausible with Hange to help them capture and learn more about titans, she had friends, she had him–whatever they were, Levi still didn’t know what to label it.  She’d come here to find a way to make her abilities as a vampire helpful to other people, to make the lives she’d had to take in order to survive and stay strong enough to survive worth something, and so far, it seemed she was in step with that goal.

And he wasn’t going to let anyone threaten to destroy that progress, not when she’d crawled her way here over the past few decades and was just starting to get a taste of freedom and happiness again, despite the insanity of all the ways the world seemed to be going to shit right now.

Gentle Reminder (and notice to those of you who weren't around to see the update): I'm giving you teasers for the next chapters when I FINISH the next chapters since its been so long and I don't want to leave you all high and dry while I continue to write, but updates are still a little while off, since I'm aiming to get on a schedule and want to build up 3 or 4 chapters before I start posting again to give me some writing breathing room. BUT--One teaser and chapter down.

Everything Tags:   @antistellxr 

Levi Tags:  @clary-quinn @ayatosmlktea @whalerus @sunny-flo @thirstyforsometea @hauntedhousecat @peaches-and-clouds @imaginationmess @wubbawubwub04 @lollobos @pasteldays @itsmeaudriee @macaronnv @tokyo-banana @apuci-kis-szornye @momowantscats @yellowminb @ashikothedog @notgoodforlife @spnwinchestersd @xxdarkdarlingxx @joy-the-reader

Wings in the Dark Tags: @regalillegal @animeluver23 @theshylittleelfgirl @queenthorin1 @dilucs-thighs @lady-ragnvindr @subtlepjiminie @queenondeezmatatas​​ @linxiajei17 @levisbebe @toni-jones @pinkberrymilktea @ascybous @emmaandemmel @wolfie3616 @aot-fanatic @jencyib @zombiukas @notgoodforlife​ @syviis @captainyanag1

(Strikethroughs couldn't be tagged/found)

[cottoncandy-cult]

Host Club Complications

Kyoya Ootori x reader

hurt/comfort

(Y/N) had been rushing around the park, she had been together with Kyoya a good 6 months and when he asked her help with a bake sale for the host club the (H/c) head had jumped at the chance to prove herself to the sometimes-stoic male. She loved to bake and decorate, so she had pulled out all the stops when making her assigned sweets. Cupcakes. And boy did she put in the work. Dozens upon dozens of cupcakes lined the three tables she was to fill, even then she had multiple large tubber ware containers in an even larger cooler that sat beside her foldable chair. The cupcakes we're iced to look like roses, each being assigned a color though the most extravagant ones were the Lavender ones. They were all beautiful, but she put more time and effort into the lavender colored cupcakes, of course that was probably due to lavender being Kyoya's color.

When Kyoya had come by to make sure everything was done he had simply nodded, checking something on clip board and walking away. He hadn't even acknowledged her presence, though she didn't let it bother her as she figured he was just busy. Though as things progressed and sweets were bought and sold, he still hadn't said anything to her and as things were winding down it got under her skin. By the time clean up came she had just left her station, leaving everything behind. Sure, she felt she was overreacting, and she knew that if it came out any of the hosts were in a relationship then attendance for the host club would likely drop, but that didn't mean he had to ignore her entirely.

Once in her car she decided to go get something to eat, she hadn't eaten all day, and she was tired. By the time she got home she had only gotten one message from him, 4 words had been sent to her. Thanks for the help. Now here was the problem, was he being sincere or sarcastic. Was he thankful for her making the cupcakes, or was he being sarcastic and rude because she left without helping clean up. Being still somewhat irritated with him she chose to ignore him entirely, wanting to see how long it would take him to actually come see her.

It didn't take as long as she thought, 2 hours in fact, for him to show up at her doorstep. (Y/N) had been greeted by Kyoya who held 4 colorful bags, making her raise an eyebrow and step out of the way of the entrance to her home. "Someone's being a bad boy, running around without your guards AND risking one of your fan girls seeing you visit another girl. I don't think I've ever seen you be so risky." Sure, it was harsh, but she was tired and feeling severely neglected, everyone has been there, but no one wants to admit it. She opened her mouth to say something but found herself pulled into his chest; his arms wrapped around her tightly. "Tch... Be quiet a minute and let me speak." Blushing darkly (Y/N) looked up at him as she cuddled into his form, waiting quietly as he gazed into her eyes before releasing a deep sigh.

"Look it was brought to my attention by some of the others that I was... Neglecting and disrespecting you earlier." He stepped back and moved her to sit on the couch, placing the bags on the coffee table. She knew this was as close to an apology she'd get, but she knew it had to be hard for him to admit that he did anything wrong, so she was more than happy with it. Her cheeks had turned cherry in color after he kissed one of them, his own pale blush on his cheeks as he looked away. "Thank you for your help today, I appreciated it. The cupcakes looked beautiful." She felt all her tiredness and frustration melt away, she couldn't help but to leap onto the male and push him down onto the couch as she cuddled him tightly.

Accepting his fate, he let her enjoy the affection, he held her close and despite his blank face she knew he was enjoying it. After resituating herself to sit on his lap he curled his arms around her waist, letting his guard down to make sure she was happy, and boy was she. She leaned against his chest, relaxing in his arms as she slowly opened each bag. The first bag was small and had various pieces of jewelry, the second bag was larger and had an old-fashioned handmade jewelry box. She smiled widely at this, she never had much jewelry and what she did have was in an old velvet box that was on the verge of falling apart.

She turned slightly and kissed him deeply, leaving the man stunned and for once at a loss for words. While he was still in shock she went back to the bags, the next was medium sized and filled with various foreign sweets. The last bag and the smallest held a tiny velvet box, in it was a silver ring with a blue sapphire heart. His name was engraved inside it, along with a tiny heart and the word promise. She knew what this was, she spotted a similar silver band on his finger. "I promise to keep you by my side and when the time comes, this ring will be replaced by a diamond one." She thought she was going to burst into tears at his words, this was the sweetest and most romantic thing anyone had ever done or said to her. Placing the ring on she turned to kiss him once more, holding his hand gently. "How about we have movie night? If you don't have anything to do." She nuzzled his cheek gently, he as he lightly rubbed her sides. "Whatever you want, my pride."

[vincina]

I have an idea!

Before I had even decided on a genre, I already had a rough plot in mind. I knew what kind of main character I wanted, and it was supposed to be something in the BL (Boys' Love) realm—maybe with a bit of spice, too. At the time I came up with the idea, I was pretty obsessed with BL.

I had read several manga and a ton of fanfiction, including original stories published on Wattpad or other web novel platforms.

It really helped me figure out what I liked and what I didn’t.

After all, reading is a great way to quickly discover your own preferences.

So what I wanted was a laid-back character with a dark streak. I liked characters who had a witty, sarcastic attitude. But more serious characters had also stolen my heart in an instant.

It didn’t actually take long before I had tailored my characters’ looks, behavior, and backstory to fit them perfectly. The idea slowly started to take shape, and my motivation to invest more time into the story grew.

I can’t even say how quickly I gathered everything. Thanks to my friends, I was able to do a lot of brainstorming, and we came up with some really great ideas.

However, the project then lay dormant for quite a long time. For about two years, the idea just sat there untouched. I kept going back to read what I had written, and occasionally, when I felt like it, I added a few things.

But still—I couldn’t find a beginning.

How the hell do you even write a book?

How do other authors manage to find a good starting point? How do they bring their characters to life and make settings feel vivid through words? How was I supposed to write a story that wouldn’t lose its readers’ interest right away?

Then one night, when I really should have been asleep because of work, the idea hit me like a bulldozer.

By that point, I had read so much fanfiction that the next steps seemed pretty straightforward: I just had to write something. So why not fanfiction? Why not write my favorite characters their own story?

It turned out to be pretty much the best thing I could have done.

I spent half a year writing fanfiction. I tried out all kinds of scenarios and wrote so much smut that I sometimes wondered what the hell I was even doing. But I started getting a feel for how to make dialogue interesting, my smut scenes kept getting better, and even though I’m still far from perfect, writing fanfiction gave me the courage to finally get started.

Which brings me to this year.

Since February, I’ve been working on my story. I’m so deep into it that I can’t even bring myself to finish my unfinished fanfics. Everything else just feels like a distraction, so I only work on fanfiction when I get stuck on my main story and need to redirect my brain with something else.

Not writing wasn’t an option.

I was afraid that if I stopped, I wouldn’t continue.

So I kept pushing myself and wrote more and more. Sometimes a chapter took just a day, and sometimes a week. Occasionally I couldn’t continue without getting feedback—despite the fact that my friends were reading everything I wrote.

I’m nowhere near finished, even though my story already has around 200,000 words—and all since February of this year. I’m pretty satisfied with my progress so far. I really like what I’m writing.

Of course, I still worry that other people might not like it.

At first, I wanted to finish the whole thing and send it to a publisher, hoping that one day I might hold a physical copy of my work in my hands. But like so many things in life, that perspective changed.

Who would buy a book written by someone completely unknown?

So I decided to upload my project to Wattpad or another site known for web novels. I’m not sure yet which platforms I’ll publish it on, but there will definitely be both a German and an English version.

In my next post, I want to share more about the story itself and post some visual material too, since I’ve met some amazing artists who are helping me bring my characters to life.

See you next time!

[jimxnslight]

Chapter 1: So High [M]

Summary: “A manwhore and a junkie… it’s a match made in heaven.”

Pairing: Park Jimin x Reader

Genre: High School au, angst

Word Count: 6k

Warnings: 18+, substance use disorder/drug addiction, PTSD, child abuse, additional warnings might be added as story progresses.

A/N: I swear I spent like a month researching to make sure everything is as accurate as possible, but if you’re more experienced in this topic and see some inaccuracies don’t hesitate to let me know. Also, if you are under 18: do. not. read. I am watching you younglings.

<< masterlist || next chapter >>

Just one step at a time Y/N, you're almost there.

You groaned inwardly as you continued to drag your feet along the concrete sidewalk, every bone in your body weighing you down like a heavy truck. Your muscles screamed at you to turn around and burrow back into your bed and even your mind was having trouble focusing. Overall, nothing but pure willpower was pushing you through the empty park, but you had to keep moving if you wanted these feelings to stop. 

So you pushed on. 

Ironically, the atmosphere was a perfect reflection of your mood. Despite how early it was in the morning, there was no prospect of the usual sunlight. Instead, grey clouds and an oddly comfortable hum caused by rainy drizzle surrounded you as you continued. It only made your muscles more languid and you almost caught yourself falling asleep mid-step several times. 

Thankfully, after what felt like hours, your gaze caught onto a lone figure on the other side of the park, rocking against one of the swings quietly. Besides him, the area was largely deserted, probably because of how early it was in the morning. Soon it would be filled with students and parents rushing to their schools and jobs. 

You'd be one of them, but for now, you had more pressing matters to attend to. 

"Yoongi," you greeted idly once you walked up to him. 

Yoongi, who had been staring at the sand below him, looked up at you with a scowl. His black hair was pulled into a half bun while it looked like he had gotten his hair trimmed. Today, he was dressed in an expensive looking black rain jacket that stopped at his knees paired with black combat boots. His silver cross earring seemed unusually dull in the rainy weather. 

"It's Suga when we're doing business," he corrected, pushing himself off the swing while eyeing the security cameras wearily. They weren't working at the moment, due to some renovations or something like that, so you didn't really understand the paranoia. 

You tilted your head lazily at his statement, "it's always business with us."

"Exactly," he frowned, shaking his head in regret, "if it wasn't for- well, you know- you wouldn't have even figured out my actual name, which is already annoying. So no need to rub it in."

"Nope, I worked too hard to get that name just to never use it," you smirked, trying to keep your voice light, but on the inside you were itching to grab what you came for, "so... do you have it?"

Yoongi's hand disappeared into his jacket's pocket and returned with a small white bottle just barely the size of your thumb. Why was it so small?

"What the hell is that?"

Despite your words, it took everything in you not to snatch up the bottle like some savage, but your pleasantries only went so far. The second the bottle was in your hand you didn't bother waiting for him to leave before you opened it and downed three pills on the spot. 

He frowned in response, "I'm low on stock right now."

It was always so typical of him to have such short and concise responses, and although you hated it, it was pretty helpful for when you were going through withdrawals. It was easier for your foggy mind to understand short sentences rather than a bunch of details. But you were going to need the details in this case. Yoongi hadn't been low on stock in a long time, which means something must have happened.  

At your expression Yoongi sighed. 

"Look, I think someone tipped the police off about me so I'm laying low for a while. In fact, the only reason I'm even doing business with you right now is because you're my least problematic client, which I appreciate... and also because I know withdrawal can be a real pain."

You hummed in response, barely paying attention. The pills you just took weren't going to kick in for another 10-20 minutes, so most of what Yoongi was saying was flying through one ear and out the other. 

"Anyways," he sighed, likely noticing your current state, "I'll get the payment after I get the cops off my back."

He hesitated before his next words but ultimately mumbled, "take care of yourself."

You lazily watched as he made his way into a flashy red car and drove off before you realised you should probably get going as well. 

-

-

-

By the time you reached your school, you felt your focus sharpen as the Adderall you had taken earlier finally started kicking in. The black jacket you had been wearing, to hide your uniform from Yoongi of course, was hanging against your arm as you made your way into the school towards your classroom. 

Since you were a little early, the class wasn't entirely full just yet. Students were still milling around, laughing and chatting about things you couldn't care less about. It wasn't until you sat down in your seat when you noticed that your best, and only, friend was already in the classroom. 

Kim Namjoon, with his dark brown hair and dimpled cheeks, gave you a stern look as he noticed your presence. 

"You didn't answer my call yesterday," he stated as-a-matter-of-factly. 

That made you snort, "when do I ever answer your calls for school related stuff?"

"Because you're too busy crashing from all the drugs you take throughout the day?"

It was his tone more than his words that made you turn towards him with a frown. Namjoon has always bothered you about your... recreational activities, that's no surprise. But there was something about the rare harshness in his voice this time that had you taken aback.  

"I'm fine Namjoon, chill out."

But Namjoon seemed unusually persistent today and only his next words gave some insight as to why, "you know there was a death in my apartment yesterday? A guy overdosed on a ton of cocaine and died, Y/N, because he was doing the exact same thing you do."

You shifted uncomfortably to mask your uneasiness.

"I don't do coke," you joked, but Namjoon's face didn't waver. 

"So? Whether it’s Adderall or meth, the result is still the same,” he pressed further, "you know he was completely alone when it happened? And when his family came to the funeral, they barely even cared. Most of them said they hadn't seen him in years."

You scoffed, "Well, I definitely won't have that problem."

His expression softened, "there are people that still care about you, Y/N, but if you continue on the path you're on right now, I can't guarantee that. I don't want you to be like him. I don't want you to end up alone with nothing but a drug addiction."

You could hear the fear in his voice at that last sentence. 

"I don't have an addiction, Namjoon, relax," you said as you heard the bell ring. All around you, students rushed to their seats in preparation for the class, "I could stop if I wanted to, you're just being paranoid."

He seemed disappointed at your response, even a little angry.

"You're high right now aren't you?" He whispered. 

“When am I not?"

"That's not funny, Y/N."

"It's a little funny."

Namjoon's hand grabbed your arm in frustration as his voice lowered, "this isn't a joke, Y/N. If you're not going to take this seriously then I'll have to do things you're not going to like."

You scoffed at the threat, "like what? Tell everyone about it? How would you even convince them? I'm a straight A student that's respectful to all the teachers. Who would even believe you?"

"A simple drug test can change all that," he snapped back. 

Your eyebrow raised, "so you'd report me to the police?"

Namjoon's frustrated face morphed into shame as he looked away quickly. The two of you had been friends ever since you and your father moved here when you were 7 years old. He was practically your brother at this point. When he found out about your using around a year ago, he had been furious, but every time he tried, he just couldn't report you. Maybe it was because he didn't want you to have a criminal record, or maybe it was because he didn't want to hurt you, either way he's been ashamed about the lack of action ever since. 

Namjoon watched the teacher walk into the class with a mixture of guilt and anguish. 

"I should... If I really cared about you I would've reported you the first time I found out. Maybe it wouldn't have become so bad if I did..."

You quietly watched as the students started getting out their textbooks and homework. Namjoon's words, despite not being anything new, should've moved you. You should've felt a need to change, or to do better. 

But you didn't feel any of that. Even hearing about that man, that might even be foreshadowing to your future, didn't instill any fear into your heart. In fact, the prospect of that being your future didn't shake you. 

Honestly, you felt nothing at all. 

-

-

-

The sound of the bell ending first period had never felt more relieving as you finally felt Namjoon’s gaze, which had been drilling into the side of your head the entire time, shift. Thankfully, he wasn’t in your second period class so you’d finally get a break from his constant worry. 

That allowed you to make your way to your second classroom quietly before settling down in your usual seat that was near the back of the class. You were even going to quietly rest your head on your desk for a moment, but the sound of three girls shuffling towards you made you realise that wasn’t going to happen anytime soon. 

It was always comical how fast she approached you the second Namjoon was out of the picture.

"Y/N!" 

You groaned, preparing yourself for what you knew was going to be one of the worst five minutes of your life.

Kim Jiwoo smirked as she peered down at you, two girls, whose names you didn't even know, at her side. Today she had tied her long brown hair into a half ponytail, letting her side bangs frame her face. Most would call her pretty, but you knew better than to flatter a snake. 

"Did you sleep in a barn last night?" She laughed, tugging at a strand of your hair, "it looks like a rat’s nest."

The two at her side laughed as she gasped.

"Wait, who am I kidding," she continued, " your father couldn't afford a barn. Where then? The side of a highway?"

Another round of her friends' laughs filled the room annoyingly. 

"Don't you have anywhere else to be insecure, Jiwoo?" You grumbled tiredly. 

She simply scoffed, "what do I have to be insecure about? Your face is all the self-love I need. Everyday I wake up and am thankful my parents didn't give birth to one like yours."

That made you smile, "speaking of parents, how is your parents' divorce going? I heard your dad was found sleeping with the maid after church, again. Personally I think you take after him the most."

The two girls' eyes widened in surprise as they side-eyed a seething Jiwoo. At this point, the whole class had gone quiet, listening intently to the two of you. 

For a moment, a very dumb moment, you thought she'd leave it at that and make an embarrassing exit. 

But you were never a very lucky one, were you?

"My parents' divorce is going great, thanks for asking," she said suddenly, a snake-like grin on her face, "I'm just glad both of them are still alive."

You tensed as you felt her close the space between the two of you, "how are your parents, Y/N?"

As unaffected as you were trying to appear, it took a lot of self-control not to throw a chair at her face. 

But Jiwoo wasn't done just yet. 

"Oh my!" She gasped, hands flying to her lips, "I completely forgot! You don't have both of your parents, do you?"

You could feel her breath as she chuckled, but the smile dropped from her face as she came closer, "What's wrong, Y/N? Mother couldn't survive a little chemo?"

Distantly you heard some students gasp, while others laughed. It didn't matter, because none of them could stop you when you brought up your fist and slammed it into her face. 

Anyone that says violence will never be fulfilling is a liar. Watching Jiwoo crumple to the ground was all the therapy you needed. 

Unfortunately, that only made her laugh more. 

"You know, if you kill yourself, maybe you can meet mommy in hell," she laughed, wiping the small trickle of blood from her mouth. 

You just scoffed, hiding the second wave of anger by sitting back in your seat, "and see you there too? No thanks."

As Jiwoo stood, the door of the classroom opened, causing everyone's head to snap towards it. The girls swooned as Mr. Kim walked in with light steps. His gaze first fell on Jiwoo, who was standing over you, and then your seated form.  

"Is there a problem here?"

No one answered, either too afraid for reprimand or too immersed in checking him out. Mr. Kim Seokjin was the youngest teacher in the school, not to mention the most attractive according to the female students. Forget the girls, you were pretty sure you've even caught some of the guys talking about how hot he is. 

When no one answered he raised an eyebrow. It was clear he knew something had happened here, something that shouldn't have happened. But after a moment, he must have decided to let it go because he turned around and started writing on the board. 

"Please go back to your seats everyone and turn to page 237."

You watched as everyone scrambled to their desks, except for Jiwoo of course, who gave you a condescending smile first. That was the one thing you could respect about her, she knew how to take a punch without being a whiny baby about it. The two of you had been at each other's throats for as long as you could remember. The rivalry between you was always so excessively vicious because you were cousins, meaning you knew a lot more about each other's familial secrets compared to the other students. In fact, now that you think about it, you probably exposed her parents' divorce to the class. But you'll take it as payback for yesterday, when she tripped you in the hallways and almost broke your head against one of the lockers. 

Mr. Kim continued to speak about the lesson, which you were completely focused on thanks to the pills you had taken this morning. 

Well, that was until you heard distracting whispers behind you. 

"Who's that?" A male voice whispered, seemingly to someone beside him. 

Another voice answered in the same manner, "oh yeah, you just transferred from class A, right? You don't know about the drama here. Those two have been at each other's throats since forever."

The first voice chuckled, "I don't care about that. Who is she?"

"Um," the second voice paused, as if confused, "you mean her? That's Kim Y/N... why? What's up?"

"She's got a hot back," the first voice said. 

You scowled as you turned around to face the voices, "this 'hot back' can hear you, you know."

You were met with two guys sitting next to each other. The first had permed dirty blonde hair, a boxy grin and intimidating eyes. You already knew him to be Taehyung. Although you'd never really held a full conversation with him, you knew he'd been in your class for a while. 

But the one sitting next to him wasn't as familiar, though you knew you've seen him in the halls before. His hair was a bright orange that oddly suited him, while his cheeks were soft yet structured. 

He was attractive, there was no denying it. But there was also no denying that he was the one commenting on your 'hot back' too, which you did not appreciate.

"Oh I know," he replied coolly, "is admiration suddenly a crime?"

"Go admire someone else's back, thanks," you said, turning back to the lesson being taught. 

But the whispers only continued. 

"Such a pretty face too," the orange haired guy said, and you could almost see him smirking. 

You saw exactly that when you turned around once again, but this time towards Taehyung, "could you put your friend on a leash?"

Taehyung, who actually seemed confused, just shrugged. 

"I'm Park Jimin," the orange haired guy announced, "what's your name, kitten?"

It took everything in you not to cringe at the nickname and instead turn back towards the front of the class, "not interested."

As you watched Mr. Kim turn towards the board to write something down, the sound of a pencil falling to the ground followed. You were sure Jimin threw one at you to get your attention, like some middle schooler might you add, but you were determined to ignore him, keeping your focus on the board. You could hear the sound of a chair scraping against the floor, a slight chuckle and even light footsteps. 

But a moment later you felt your back start to warm up. At first you thought maybe the classroom's heating had turned up, but then you swivelled around to come face to face with Park Jimin. His chest was so close to your back, all he had to do was move just an inch forward and he'd be pressed against it. 

With Mr. Kim still writing something on the board, Jimin went completely unnoticed aside from one or two curious students. 

But that didn't deter him at all. 

"There's going to be a party tonight at Taehyung's place," Jimin whispered, his lips close to your ear, "you should come. I'm sure you'll have a good time."

Just as his head lifted away from yours, Mr. Kim turned around. 

"Jimin, what are you doing out of your seat?" He asked, crossing his arms. 

Jimin raised a pencil in response, and with a start, you realised it was your pencil that had been sitting on your desk a few seconds earlier, "sorry, I just dropped my pencil."

Mr. Kim nodded and went back to teaching the lesson while you heard Jimin take his seat once again, still feeling the ghost of his lips near your ear. 

-

-

-

For the record, it wasn't Park Jimin that had you driving to Taehyung's house at 10 PM on a Friday night. You had known about the party before he had 'invited' you and had already been planning to go. Of course, most students were attending for some partying.

And although partying sounded good, you had other intentions in mind. 

Your car rolled to a stop a few blocks away from Taehyung's house before you got out and started walking along the dark sidewalk. You could already hear the music and sounds of chatter from your current position, but you doubt anyone in the neighbourhood would complain about it. Taehyung's parents were the definition of rich, and messing with people like that was never a very smart option. The best they could do was pop in some ear plugs and wait the party out. 

"Y/N?!" A familiar voice behind you called out. 

Speaking of ear plugs...

You tried to fasten your pace, but Jiwoo was already in step beside you. There seemed to be no sign of the girls from earlier this time. 

"Where are your goons?"

Her reply was quick. 

"Where's your sobriety?"

You rolled your eyes, continuing to walk in silence. To your distaste, she didn't leave after that. 

"Thanks a lot for advertising the divorce. You know how hard it was to keep something like that on the down low?" She scoffed, actually looking quite annoyed. 

You raised an eyebrow, "you're really going to act like that after the chemo comment?"

"You started it. Don't act like some victim now."

It was your turn to scoff now, "you started it like 5 years ago."

"It was 7 years actually."

"Aww, do you have a calendar you use to mark our fights too? I'm straight, before you get any ideas."

"Oh screw off, Y/N."

Thankfully, there was a beat of silence after that. You cursed yourself for parking so far away from the house, but it was usually useful for when the police were called and they started impounding cars. At this point, you'd rather take the police than Jiwoo's presence. 

After a moment Jiwoo spoke up again, "I saw you with Jimin in second period."

She grinned. 

"A manwhore and a junkie... it's a match made in heaven."

You almost celebrated when Taehyung's house finally came into view. Without even bothering to look in Jiwoo's direction, you scurried into the house, but not before hearing her cackle like some kind of witch. 

You genuinely feel bad for whoever decides to curse their life by marrying her. Maybe she'll do everyone a favour and stay single forever, though you doubt she'd be that gracious. 

Even though it was relatively early for the party, the living room was packed with people. Students you recognized from school were chatting and laughing together while others played games and took shots. You were pretty sure you even caught one or two college kids here and there too. 

As you scanned the room, your eyes were naturally drawn to a head of bright orange hair sitting on one of the couches lazily as a girl sat on his lap with a smile. Jimin looked good, with a simple white t-shirt and ripped jeans. A silver earring, similar to Yoongi's, hung from one of his ears. 

For a second, you thought his eyes caught yours, but you turned away and started walking towards the kitchen before you could confirm. It didn't matter anyway, you weren't here for him. 

The sight of alcohol had you smiling. 

You were here for this.  

You grabbed a cup and filled it with beer from one of the tanks sitting on the counter. There were a few empty bottles of vodka and even wine sprawled around, implying that if you looked hard enough you might be able to snag a bottle. But you weren't very keen on getting too hammered tonight. 

While deep in thought, you didn't notice Jimin slip in front of you until he started talking. 

"Having fun?" He asked, a red plastic cup filled with a clear substance already in his hand. His hair was dishevelled and messy, like someone had run their hands through it many times, and a silver necklace shaped like an upside down spade hung from his neck. 

The necklace forced you to look down at his loose sleeveless white shirt, which did a poor job at hiding his toned figure. The muscles in his arm were flexed as they held the cup, making it hard to focus on the one in your own hand. You turned towards the kitchen's counter, trying to shift your mind to something else. 

But Jimin seemed to notice that, making him smirk.

"Like what you see?" He asked innocently as he slowly made his way towards you. When he finally came to a stop, he was so close you could feel the heat of his chest on your arm while his hand rested on the countertop right in front of you, "you don't have to look away, kitten. I don't mind giving it to you if you want it."

Your sharp gaze met his eyes once again, which were also a lot closer than you had initially thought. With his chest near your arm, his hot breath against your ear and his ruffled hair, you didn't blame yourself when you felt a hesitant shiver run down your spine. 

Park Jimin was a jerk, but god was he a hot jerk.

But was this something you wanted? Although you weren't exactly opposed to the idea, you didn't exactly want it either. It had been a long time since you last had sex, and the thought of doing it again with someone like Jimin, aka someone with a lot of recent experience, was kind of nerve wracking. You'd rather just get high. 

"Believe it or not, I didn't come to this party because of you," you said finally. 

"Oh?" His gaze lingered on your lips before raising back to your eyes, "then why are you here?" 

For the free alcohol, and hopefully free drugs, would've been your honest answer. 

"Why does anyone attend parties? To have some fun of course."

Jimin regarded you for a moment before replying, "there are different types of fun at parties. Which one are you here for?"

You shrugged, "not the type you're interested in."

With that, you filled your cup to the top before walking out of the room, eyes peeled for a dealer. Your talk with Jimin had heightened your desire for some fun, which for you was to feel nothing at all. All you had to do was find a dealer that would be willing to give you a sample. 

Thankfully, with your experience, finding someone was no problem. In less than 10 minutes you had found and flagged down a man that seemed much too old to be at a high school party. You chuckled inwardly at the sudden thought of 'cheating' on Yoongi with another dealer, but Yoongi wasn't always available, especially now that the police were on his back. 

After getting the dealer to trust that you weren't a cop, which was stupid considering your age, he eyed you with a more comfortable stare. 

"Okay, what do you need?" He asked patiently. 

You paused for a moment, thinking it over. You already had gotten some Adderall from Yoongi earlier today, and you were craving something a little stronger. But you were in the mood of something relaxing, not stimulating.  

Then the thought of heroin popped into your mind. You were always careful when it came to opioids since they're insanely addictive, but the last time you had some was a pretty long time ago. You were sure the gap was long enough for it to be safe to take it again. Besides, the feeling it gave was always amazing, like every cell in your body was relaxed and calm. 

You'd like that at the moment, and you told him just that. 

He excused himself for a second, rushing into a room before returning again with a bag of fine white powder. He held it out to you discretely, but not before announcing the price. 

"I want a sample first," you said, but the man shook his head. 

"Sorry, no samples."

That made you scoff, "What? How am I supposed to know if it's good or not? Besides this is heroin I'm talking about, not weed."

"Either give me the money and take it or don't. I don't do samples."

"No thanks, I'll look somewhere else."

You turned and started making your way away from him, feeling a bit irritated, but not very angry. You've never had an issue with finding samples at a party. You just seemed to have picked the wrong guy. 

But soon enough, after dealing with multiple dealers that refused, you huffed in frustration. 

"What is up today with you guys? Why is everyone suddenly so against samples?" You rambled to one of them. He just gave you a tired look. 

"Supply has been low lately. I've heard that the police are closing in on some of our harbour guys- uh, major suppliers, if you don't understand. A lot of them have had to lay low because of it, meaning guys like us aren't getting a lot of supply lately. We can't afford to give out samples right now."

So Yoongi wasn't the only one in a tight spot at the moment. Turns out a lot of dealers are suffering right now. That almost made you groan out loud. 

"So that's a hard no to the sample?" You said, causing the guy to raise an eyebrow. 

"Just pay up, don't be cheap," he said with crossed arms. 

"It's a party. Obviously, I didn't bring any money with me, I've never needed it."

The guy just shook his head and walked away, leaving you alone and needy. 

No samples. No dealers. You couldn't contact Yoongi at the moment either, which meant drugs were now out of the question. So much for having fun. 

You downed your cup of beer, though you knew the most it would do was leave you buzzed. You could always start searching for the vodka you had seen earlier, but your dad was coming back tomorrow and you didn't want to be dealing with a killer hangover when meeting him. 

While your mind did back flips trying to figure out a way to salvage the night, your gaze caught Jimin at the other side of the room. He was laughing with a girl, rarely taking a sip from his cup as he listened to the girl talk about things you couldn't hear. 

You've heard a lot of people say that taking heroin feels like having 1000 orgasms at once. Obviously, there was nothing else that could achieve such a feeling.

But there was definitely something that came close.

As if hearing your thoughts, Jimin's eyes, which had been scanning the room nonchalantly, fell on your figure. When you didn't look away, he tilted his head, almost like he was asking a question. 

Your gaze flickered to the staircase before landing back on him. Hoping he'd get the hint, you started making your way up them, not waiting to see if he was following. 

Asking for sex was one thing you would not grant Park Jimin. If he wanted it, he was going to have to be smart enough to get it. 

After checking in on a few rooms, you finally entered one that wasn't occupied with a moaning mess of bodies. It was luxurious, with a king sized bed wrapped in comfy looking sheets, a fluffy carpet coating most of the floor and a mini chandelier hanging overhead. 

It made you wonder what the hell Taehyung's parents did for a living. 

Before you could ponder any further, the sound of the room’s door opening and then closing quickly pulled you out of your thoughts, which was then followed by the sound of light footsteps treading carefully on the wooden floor. 

When the footsteps softened because of the carpet, you turned around to find Jimin standing barely a foot away from you, his gaze focused on your still form. Now that the prospect of sex was a lot more likely, you let yourself properly enjoy the sight of him. Your eyes first started with his body, taking in the toned muscles that peaked through his white shirt and then his thick thighs that were exposed through his ripped jeans. 

"It looks like you've changed your mind," he said, taking a step closer, causing you to take a step back.

But Jimin simply took another step forward until you could feel the cold wall press into your back. One of his hands leaned against the wall behind your head while the other leaned against the wall beside your stomach, caging you in the process. It forced you to focus on his face now, rather than his body. His orange hair was still dishevelled, framing his face perfectly. Despite the softness of his cheeks, his jawline was sharp, along with his eyes and nose. With how close he was, you could see every dip and pore in his face, yet somehow you couldn't find a single flaw on his skin. 

His eyes scanned your own body and face the same way you had barely a second ago, pupils dilating in desire.

"Can I touch you, kitten?"

Ignoring the nickname, your gaze travelled down to his lips, which looked so soft and plump. You wanted to know how they would feel on your skin, especially on your own lips. 

You nodded slowly before breathing out your answer, "yes."

Jimin wasted no time pulling you closer towards him. He let his hands run down your arms and rest at your waist as his eyes flickered between your lips and neck, as if conflicted as to which one to start with.

As he pulled your waist against him, his lips started on your neck, leaving behind light kisses that gradually became more and more heated. His hand rubbed circles against your hip, in an oddly reassuring manner, while his lips started to lower to your collarbone. 

Your breathing started to intensify as Jimin left open mouthed kisses against your neck and jaw. 

"I was hoping you'd change your mind," he breathed against your neck. A new set of pleasuring shivers travelled down your spine.

"Why's that?"

His hand, which had been resting on your hip, traveled upwards to cup your cheek, "I wasn't joking when I said you had a pretty face."

The hand cupping your cheek suddenly pulled you forward as Jimin connected your lips with his. They were so soft and plump as they moved against yours, causing your stomach to flutter in satisfaction. You never realised just how pleasurable making out was until today.

Jimin’s lips travelled back to your neck as he continued to drop heated kisses against your skin. You could still feel his hand rubbing circles into your hip while the other brushed against your cheek to hold your head steady. 

Feeling a little hazy, your hand disappeared into your pocket to bring out the white bottle Yoongi had given you this morning. As Jimin continued to wreck your neck in the most pleasurable way possible, you opened the bottle behind his back and moved it to down a pill or two. 

But the sound of its opening caused Jimin to look up until he eyed the bottle in your hand. 

"Are those drugs?" He asked suddenly, pulling away from you slightly. 

"No they're just Skittles," you replied sarcastically, moving the bottle towards your lips once again. But before you could pop even one pill, Jimin swiped the bottle out of your hand and chucked it into the trash can across the room. 

"Wh- Hey! What the hell?!" You protested, but he gently pushed you back against the wall.

"No drugs in the bedroom."

Before you could scoff he closed the distance between the two of you once again, letting his lips brush against your ear, "you're in my bedroom, Y/N. That means you follow my rules."

As if to make a point, he brushed his fingers against the inside of your clothed thigh, pulling a heavy breath from your lips. 

Your irritation soon morphed into pleasure as Jimin brought his lips to yours once again. One of his hands was still rubbing circles against your hip, but the other had moved down to your waist to pull you closer to him. 

“Why did you-” he paused at the sight of you as he pulled back for a moment. Swollen lips, messy hair, heavy pants… Jimin didn’t think he’d ever encountered someone hotter in his entire life. 

He cleared his throat, hoping you didn’t notice the pause, “why’d you change your mind?”

You took him in for a moment. His rust-coloured hair was dishevelled, with a few strands falling onto his forehead, while his plush lips separated to accommodate his heavy breaths. 

You shrugged. 

“I wanted to try a different kind of fun,”

“Fun?” He repeated with a grin.

You felt his hand circle your wrist before he guided you away from the wall. From this angle, you got to enjoy his back muscles peeking from his white shirt before he turned back to you. 

“Clothes off. Get on the bed,” he instructed, pulling his shirt over his head and throwing it to a corner. 

“I’ll show you what fun is, kitten.”

Next Chapter...

[inventoryvaluation]

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[tobiasdrake]

Impromptu Story Time just outside the walls is over; Back to infiltrating.

See? What'd I say. We're inside the gates now, because nothing is ever locked to a sufficiently determined burglar. And at this point, we have a lot of experience burgling things that shall not be burgled.

Oh good, they're opening the front doors for us. That's always a good sign.

I'm sympathetic to your motives but factionally opposed to you nonetheless. Get out of the way or we're going to have to do the violence.

Credit where it's due, that is a fire comeback.

This is not a conflict that can be solved diplomatically, Brugaves. Get out of the way or we do the violence. Those are the options. Pick one.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little intimidated about fighting our mentors. But also, we killed Torment so I have a big well of confidence to draw from.

Did you just try to pull "Control your hysterical sibling" on us!?

Oh, I am about two seconds from taking "Step aside" off the list of options and going straight to the violence. Zale does not speak for me. I sometimes speak for him. That's how our dynamic works.

Wait, we're in time to thwart the waking ritual? Good to know. Thanks for that tidbit.

Now choke on my staff.

I want you to know that this brings me no joy.

...

Okay, actually, this brings me some joy because it's very nostalgic. Despite everything, there's a strong sense of "If things were different I would very much love to be having this sparring session with you." This is fun in a tragic way.

But things aren't different so fucking back down already.

Oh shit. Right. Stalling for time. I walked my bloodthirsty ass right into that.

It's okay. We can make up for this. There's no time inside the castle so, logically, it's impossible for enough time to pass that the ritual is completed. Therefore, I hereby demand that the Dweller ritual remain suspended in-progress indefinitely.

...

Okay, I think the metaphysics heard me. We should be clear to take our time now. That's how it works, right?

Honestly, this place would just seem like your basic tinkerer's workshop if not for all the organic Dweller gunk infecting the clockwork.

I wonder what the Watchmaker thinks of all this crap getting on her lovely mechanisms?

OH MY GOD THEY LOOK LIKE LITTLE WORKSHOP ELVES

But it's actually eternal child labor! Which. In a way. Is kinda what workshop elves are too. Huh.

Well, in any case, it looks like we've found Cael and his crew. Let's see if they want to help us really piss off Aephorul.

...okay, you are not what I anticipated when I was told there'd be immortal children in this workshop.

You know what, you're right. I have a talent for pissing people off and making unnecessary threats. You do the talking, Garl. You're pretty much the master at inoffensive diplomacy.

No amount of skill points can defend against a Nat 1. That will do, Garl. Let me take over.

Yeah, but you own it. You've got this whole Ancient Gnome Head Researcher vibe that's working for you, and you're leaning into it. The outfit really brings it together. 10/10 Brilliant fashion choice.

Yeah, Teaks told me how that works. Though I'm surprised that the castle doesn't let you mature but does let you age. The rules of magic are obnoxiously arbitrary sometimes.

Oh shit. He's calling you out, Serai. Does your mystery secret have something to do with this place? Are you the Watchmaker or something?

Oh, we're just going to breeze past that. Okay.

That's fine. I'm even more curious than ever but I do trust Serai. I mean, if she had any ill intent, she could have slit all of our throats while we slept and then portaled away before anyone was the wiser. Instead, she tried to thwart Strife's revival and helped us kill Torment.

She has earned more than enough leeway to come clean about her secrets on her own time or keep it to herself forever.

[itneedsmoregays]

The Steff Pearce Series - Assertive

"Hi there! Welcome to Brewtiful, what can I get you?"

Steff had assumed cash register duty after returning from her lunch break, giving Meena a much-needed breather. Her ma Andrea was now helping the young elephant with preparing the customers' orders, which Cassie then served to their designated tables. Over half the seats in the café were filled.

"Yeah, can I just get an espresso to go?" The middle-aged goat before Steff asked.

"Sure thing." She punched his order into the register's screen. "Anything else?"

"No."

The skunk retained her smile despite his blunt reply; she was used to some customers being in too much of a hurry to remember their manners. "Alright then. Ma, did you get that?"

"Yep, I got it." The porcupine replied before turning back to her larger co-worker. "Alright, Meena, now just carefully add the cinnamon on top and that's table three's order done."

Meena nodded, a stencil clasped in her trunk. "Thanks, Mrs Pearce."

Steff smiled at her friend's progress; she had once again offered Meena the chance to work part-time for her family while she and Ash were still in the process of moving in together. Though anxious at first, the elephant eventually agreed to it and the whole Pearce family had been nothing but helpful toward her. Not to mention all the customers greatly appreciated her kind services.

The young skunk turned her attention back to the goat. "That'll be $2.49 please."

Fumbling about in his pocket, he finally pulled out some change and placed it in Steff's open palm. Taking her time to count the two dollar coins and half dollar coin carefully, the skunk then typed in the amount and swapped them for a single penny. She handed it to him with a smile before closing the register again.

"Where's the rest?"

That caught Steff off guard. "...Sorry?"

"I gave you three dollars, where's my fifty cents?" The goat asked, glancing back and forth between her and the penny in his hand. Steff blinked in confusion.

"Um, sir, you... just gave me two fifty. That makes your change a penny."

The goat's brow furrowed in annoyance. "No, I gave you three."

"Uh, actually, sir, you did give her two dollars and fifty cents." The hippo waiting in line behind him spoke up. "I saw it myself."

"No, I didn't. I had four dollars in my pocket and now I only have one." The agitated goat turned his attention back to Steff, holding his outstretched hand with the penny before her. "I know I gave you three, so give me the rest of my change."

In the past, Steff would have remained silent or stepped aside to let her moms handle something like this. But she couldn't back down here; she knew for absolute certain that she was right in this situation. This goat was reprimanding her over nothing.

"Sir, I'm sorry but you've made a mistake." She said, her smile faltering slightly. "That man behind you is right, you gave me exactly $2.50. Believe me, I know a half dollar coin when I see and feel it. Now could you please step aside? You're holding up the line."

"Oh, so you think I'm stupid?" The goat asked harshly. "Is that it?"

Steff then lost her smile completely. "What? No, that's not what I'm saying at all!"

At last Andrea walked over to the counter, the freshly-made espresso in her grip. "Steff, is everything okay?"

"Just a little misunderstanding, Ma." She replied after taking a breath. "This gentleman seems to think he paid me three dollars for his coffee and that I owe him fifty cents."

"Because she does." The goat cut in, still frowning directly at her. "I know she does."

"Alright, alright, let me check the cash register." Placing the cup down, the porcupine scrolled through the list of previous purchases on the screen. All the while, the line of customers grew. After checking the amount of cash inside the register, and even reprinting the receipt just to be sure, Andrea finally looked up.

"Well I've checked, sir, and you definitely gave my daughter two dollars fifty." She said, adjusting her glasses. "So she did give you the right change."

Unsurprisingly, the goat wasn't swayed. "That's nonsense, I know I gave her three dollars! I have one dollar left in my pocket!"

"Alright, listen, pal..." Andrea's rebuttal was cut short by her daughter holding her hand up, much to her surprise.

"Sir, you're just repeating yourself now." Steff spoke firmly. "I'm sorry, but the amount of cash in the register is up by $2.50. So I'm afraid you didn't, simple as that. You may have a dollar in your pocket but that's not a mistake on my part."

"This is ridiculous!" The goat's raised voice, coupled with his hand slamming on the counter, caught Cassie and everyone else's attention. Steff didn't even flinch at the sound. "I'm not leaving this spot until you give me my fifty cents, you little liar!"

Up to this point, Steff had just barely tolerated this goat's stubbornness. But that 'liar' comment was the last straw.

"Excuse me, sir!" She snapped. "I am many things but I am not a liar! For the last time, I am not gonna give you change that I don't owe you! And since you won't stop being rude to me, I'm not asking you this time; I'm telling you to take your coffee and leave!"

Pointing to the door, the young skunk never once lost her nerve at his accusing gaze. Both Cassie and Andrea were speechless; never had they seen their daughter raise her voice at a bad customer, much less stand her ground against one.

Finally the goat let out a huff, shoving the penny into his pocket before seizing his coffee from the counter.

"Fine. Screw it." He grouched, turning on his heel. "I'm never coming back here again." Steff just made out the words "stupid" and "can't count" that the goat muttered under his breath as he stormed past the waiting customers and straight out the door.

At last, the silence in the café shattered with the customers in line applauding. Finally noticing, Steff straightened her glasses bashfully. "Oh, I, uh... I-I'm sorry about the hold-up, everyone."

Tray still in hand, Cassie immediately came behind the counter to give her daughter's cheek a smooch. "Well done, sweetheart."

"I see Ash's boldness has been rubbing off on you." Andrea grinned, patting her on the back.

"Steff, that was really great." Meena added, giving her friend an impressed smile. "I never could've done that."

"First thing to understand about this café, Meena: the customer isn't always right." The older skunk told her.

Still blushing beneath her fur, Steff thought back to her girlfriend's comment on her capacity for assertiveness from over a year ago.

Huh. I guess that day finally came. She thought to herself. Thanks, rock star.

Clearing her throat, she turned her focus back to serving the hippo customer. The moment he stepped aside to find his table, Steff's eyes popped open as the next customer came forward.

An all-too-familiar porcupine with a hand on her hip and a very proud smile.

"Told you you had the confidence to stand up for yourself, angel." Ash said coyly. None of the customers behind her complained when she stood on her tiptoes to lean over the counter and kiss Steff.

[myimaginarywonderland]

I am so over the Gerard thing already because I feel like there isn't a satisfying pay off. 911 really screwed this for me already.

Because the truth is we should have played with the Captain topic seasons ago. Buck should have been allowed to be angry especially after Bobby kept him from work and that was have been the perfect opportunity to first test out Hen and Chim as Captain. Obviously Bobby would have remained but they could have had a questioning investigation and so we would have seen how the others do as Captain. Maybe let Hen and Chim each lead for 4 episodes and then Bobby is cleared, the Law Suit is resolved and we are done.

Bobby has had doubts for longer than this. The cruise ship should have been a final nail in the coffin if we had a longer season. The cruise ship where he once again saw his family endangered should have been the kickstarter to Bobby retiring or taking up a different position at the end of the seasons and we should have had it discussed.

We should have finally been allowed to see Buck actually take on Captain because despite what anyone says he is undoubtedly the firefighter who loves his job the most. The amount of times that Buck has saved and helped civilians while off duty, the amount of times he should have gotten recognized, everything is leading up to Buck taking over for Bobby. He has rescued his team more times than I can count.

Had they already played with the idea before this season and allowed Buck and Hen (since it is obvious Chim would not like the ever be captain) to prove themselves, this Gerard arc would slap. Why? Because it would open the great possibility of the firefam fighting and someone establishing themselves as the new Captain. Had they laid the groundwork, this could lead to an incredibly satisfying arc where we see a character take on another step, grow even more with the entire support of the firefam.

This would have been the perfect opportunity to make a "This is my house, this is my team" speech from Buck because what we have learned over the course of the series is that essentially Buck is heart of the firefam. Buck is the fixer, the one who holds them together, who keeps everyone going. This would have been a beautiful opportunity to lead into an arc where some things from Buck's coma dream like Buck saving Bobby actually get shown while Buck saves Bobby's legacy. Or he'll, even if it was about Hen, it would be a great writing opportunity. Hen, who fought against the entire 118 (except Chim) to be recognized, Hen who had to fight to be seen and then finally gets everyone behind her, the unanimous support she should have had from the beginning.

This Gerard arc could have easily been incredible to progress to show, the widen the characters (Bobby retiring leading to Ravi finally becoming a main), to show more of the LFD (Bobby potentially taking on a different role) but instead it will just end in Bobby's entire arc being undone and him just coming back to captain because they haven't done anything to prove otherwise. It has been done on Lonestar once and even then people had trouble. Not to mention the whole rotating captain thing Station 19 had going on.

911 could have done an amazing arc to finally get Buck to happy ending, to fully develope his character fully, to make an incredible decision of having a black, lesbian fight for a house that never deserved her but instead this arc falls so flat and predictable that it just feels like the biggest wasted opportunity.

There was no build up for it to have an ending that isn't "Well who could have guessed this?" Because it's so obvious Bobby will come back and it will just be like maybe a three episode arc that will likely help the fandom who is already in shambles to split apart even more.

This could have been an amazing arc but without a build up there isn't any good payoff.

[biganimal92]

update for the 4 of you reading this that care (this isn't meant to be pessimistic I just mean that very few of my friends follow me on here lol)

I feel like my art has been stagnating for a long time and it's mostly because I limit myself to fandoms and the attention I get for my fanart messes with the way I value my self-worth so a few months back I decided I wanted to start doing a lot more with my art to gain more personal fulfillment and to give myself a direction i actually wanted to take it in so that i felt like i was making progress and going somewhere with it. I was making plans to create a proper portfolio of things that weren't star wars yaoi or the dudes from fall out boy fucking, and I was planning on launching a YouTube channel where I posted speedpaints and stuff and I actually made some decent progress

I drew something I was really proud of and I knew the content in it would be pretty popular despite still technically being fanart, and I had a time-lapse recorded for it and everything, I was even halfway through the script. I also had a number of original drawings I'd done that I never posted anywhere and I felt like by this time I should have been able to properly launch this stuff and start taking appropriate steps to have my art reach a wider audience.

butttttt then my laptop died suddenly and randomly (i was literally using it just fine, i lifted it up from my lap and it shut off and wouldnt turn back on) and it's been in the repair shop for a week and they still don't know what's wrong with it. they think it's a motherboard issue and if it ends up being at least $600 to repair it I'm just getting a new laptop. I think they can transfer the data on the hard drive to an external that I have and if so that'd be wonderful because that laptop contains all the work I've been doing these last few months for this thing I wanna do with my art.

thankfully since then my roommate is letting me have one of his backup gaming pcs (he works in tech so he has plenty) and I've been able to get set up there in case I need to start my progress over, but the issue is that it's a Linux and clip studio literally doesn't work with Linux because the desktop version of the program apparently relies on either edge being installed if it's windows, or safari being installed if it's Mac. so I can't sign in or download the full version, I'm stuck with the super limited trial version, and because of this I've been trying to get comfortable with Krita. which thankfully can record time-lapses.

my mental health has only been improving since moving to Seattle despite some pretty low lows so thankfully, even though this is uh a pretty big deal all things considered, I'm handling it really well. I had one horrible encounter with a psychiatrist when trying to get treatment for my anxiety and adhd, but since my insurance here sucks since I'm poor and nothing has worked for my other issues I've been fortunate to be able to see doctors about, I've officially become a crystal mommy and I've resorted to ~alternative medicines~ and as a result I've had a considerable amount of improvement in a very short amount of time with the things I've struggled with getting help with from a professional psychiatrist. so yeah, I'm only getting better

biggest issue that still impacts me is that my attempts at befriending people irl have not borne much fruit, granted I haven't been trying super hard but with a huge covid spike coming up soon, said weak attempts are going to have to be put on hold for the time being. especially since the main thing I was literally going to do as soon as Christmas was over was join this drawing group that meets up every other Sunday, but now I don't have my laptop so it'll just have to wait regardless of what the state of things are looking like otherwise

uhhh what else. oh yeah I got into Chinese yaoi and Indian cinema and I got out of my head enough to start playing genshin impact again so basically I'm a huge faggot ama

OH SHIT I forgot to mention I got another horrible job and I'm kind of trapped into keeping it for at least a year unless something catastrophic happens because it's giving me really important experience in the field I'm trying to go into, but when I say it sucks I mean it's probably the most disorganized place I've ever worked at that wasn't a locally owned franchise. I work at an open-access low income healthcare organization that's all over Seattle so when I say it's terrible and disorganized I think you get the picture

anyway I don't know how often I'll be on here but I'm bored and lonely and scrolling through tumblr seems like a better use of my time than spending an entire shift looking at r/shittyfoodporn

[alexissara]

My Favorite NPCs

We're at it again talking about my OCs. We've talked about Current OCs and my favorite OCs who never really got to see play so today we're talking NPCS. I GM a lot, more than I play. So of course, over that time I've made some characters whom I just love so much and have become some of my favorite OCs despite them never really being PCs or only being PCs very briefly. Honorable Mention to Jillian Owlnight whom I have already wrote about when I wrote about The Iconic Matriarch from TSL.

Grifta Scamsly

System: Anyone I can fit them in

[ https://picrew.me/ja/image_maker/296093 ]

Grifta Scamsly first appeared as a one off joke NPC who was intended to divert the players in my Fellowship campaign just a little. However, Griffta Scasmsly, They/Them, as in THEY got THEM deals but seriously please use the right pronouns was a big hit with the players. Since they were well liked I had them show up in little bit roles again and fleshed out a backstory from jokes I told during appearances that actually lead to them being a big part near the end of the campaign establishing firmly The Scamaly and their backstory of being part of a group of Orphans who were abused by the adults running the orphanage and managed to take over the joint and get all of them out of their lives by conning everyone they could in an elaborate scream proudly taking on the Scamsly name they formed for themselves.

Griftta would appear in multiple worlds since then with the consistent beats, They/them, is from a found family of orphans and actually a very helpful friend who just also happens to be a con artist. They even went on to inspire me to make the playbook for Thirsty Sword Lesbians The Swindler which also started as a joke that I could make the Griffta playbook since they didn't fit any of the playbooks perfectly.

Celeste

System: Fellowship

[ https://picrew.me/ja/image_maker/332600 ]

In the same campaign that Griffta appeared we had our Overlord Celeste. A chaotic being who altered areas to make them strange, fun and weird wishing to alter the whole world to her amusement altering reality wherever she went. In truth the woman was possessed by an evil force who simply wished to ruin the world and had attempted to burn the world before and was sealed away in a Crystal the girl found. She was a weirdo who just had her crush and best friend in a very uptight community of light mages. She wanted to make the world break through all the norms and everything for her beloved taking it too far.

She was really fun to play because she had a very fun voice to do and a very strange manner of thinking and doing things while being rooted in one of the PCs in a positive way and in a negative way with the other two. Celeste was a house of mysteries for the players to crack and a force of chaos that was hard to get pinned down. Then getting to play a touch of her without the force inside of her at the very end was very rewarding and her being united with her mutual crush and them getting together was just very sweet. It was overall really great to have this very recurring villain that the game itself put under protection and the effects of could be felt every single step of their adventure.

Altia

System: Thirsty Sword Lesbians and King Is Dead

[ https://picrew.me/ja/image_maker/227881 ]

Altia was "Her Holiness" the voice of the goddess of The Pure Light was another villain that was just an utter blast to chew up as a GM. She is really special becuase she was really fun on multiple layers. There was her while she was possessed by the Pure Light both as mostly herself but swayef and more of a direct take over. Then there was her post being free of The Holy Lady fully herself but trying to make up for past wrong doing. Then her more exploring herself phase but equally fun was showing the counter balance to her. Altia always posed herself as a reformer, progressive, to The genocidal churches left and improving monster relationships. Since her personality was mostly involved in most choices she really had made some strong reforms and having The Holy Lady move to her more conservative counter part and war errupting right away and policies shifitng to further fash then the existing bad fash was fun and only had the impact because Altia set up varying degrees of awful for us.

It was fun to have this religious and political agent, the ways she changed the world when she was evil and the ways she wanted to actually change the world, the ways she was twisted and the ways she resisted. Altia was just a really fun character and as a shared NPC in a CO-GM campaign she was really fun to build on with others and go through varying twists I'd never have made myself but loved.

Queen Azure

System: Masks: A New Generation

Art by Littleinksheep

Another Villain and this time one that didn't get to see too much spotlight but even found herself in lore in a future campaign so one I have a ton of fondness for. This NPC was a little bit different in that it was an NPC I designed from a PC perspective with the Masks Playbook, The Innocent. The playbook has you make a future version of yourself that is a big time baddy or otherwise messed up and have that be the main focus of conflict for you.

Azure was the princess of a Fire Emblem land on Earth that was taken from earth and into a space collector of abnormally magical and powerful places to "protect the universe". When this tech was being used to move it Azure was hit between a pivotal moment in time and space duplicating herself one being shot through time far into the future 1418 years into the future and the other, Queen Azure remaining in her place in time but in a new universe captured by the man.

Her farther killed before her and her people and culture being wiped out while she was captured by him to remain part of his "preservation of history" lead to her getting angrier and more aggressive, she had fought in a war before always with the power of friendship and with hope to reach every opponent, now she wanted death for her enemy no path to redemption or understanding. Azure managed to lead other captured cultures that hadn't resisted and therefore still had numbers left to rise up against the man who captured them and kill him and sized his operation. With his tech she took her old castle and turned into into an intergalactic spaceship and reality traveling ship. Azure then went to start conquering worlds with the intention of using her domain over them to protect them from a force as powerful as that man and threats that might grow to his level gathering the strongest warriors to work under her directly.

Over time Azure also learned the dark secrets of her own culture and embraced all sides of her abilities to become more powerful in order to protect the multiverse. After so many years she finally found her home reality and home world returning to find her first and truest love was still alive and had become a vampire in her absence but rejected the path she had taken and fought back against her. I GMed the first encounter session as a set up for my character coming into the campaign as I switched characters and I was in tears as she fought her beloved and they reached that moment of impasse where she realized the only thing left from what she knew, the woman she loved most, all of that were no longer compatible with her but refusing to let go of her role as the protector of The Multiverse and Queen of The Arondite Kingdoms.

I can't help myself but ramble about her as you just saw, I got so much more to say but she is such a tragic villain who isn't like mind controlled or corrupted just brought to a radical position by radical trauma but genuinely doing her best and what she thinks is the kindest option. She worked really well as a natives foil to Princess Azure and this looming threat of the kind of person she could become, she would become if she saw what she saw. Azure doesn't deny that if she suffered the same trauma she would have been different, she knows they are the same exact person she is simply a younger version of her but she wants to remind her of why she fought, why what they fought for matters but she also had to come to terms with the reality her life was fucked up too and that part of what was going on with Azure started well before "that man".

Mona

System: "Masks: A New Generation"

[ https://picrew.me/ja/image_maker/86774 ]

Mona was from my very first dedicated TTRPG campaign that actually had consistent games. There was a session I made specifically to present a bunch of hot NPCs to the players and attempt to get them to hook up with someone. Our Alien Stoner Pizza Delivery girl fell head over heels for one of the most silly of my silly sexy characters Mona. She has a magic staff that can do anything but it's totally random and triggers off her saying magic. One day Mona found it on the ground, she brought it to The Lost And Found and they ended up returning it to her when no one claimed it. Since then she has used it and her super power to jump really high [above average] to work as a part time gig hero on apps.

This bisexual dork fell head over heels for the cute alien girl being mutually considered fuck ups but both seeing only the amazing things about one another. Over time they stood up for each other and fought for each other and time and time again despite how wild, scary or out of this world things got Mona was there to provide magic.

I had a really funny little voice I did for her and to this day randomly I'll just say "Magic!" in her voice and get a giggle out of my fiancé or my girlfriends who were in the campaign.

Sapphire Riches

System: Masks: A New Generation/Thirsty Sword Lesbians

[ https://meiker.io/play/11994/online.html ]

Sapphire Riches actually started out as PC in a Thirsty Sword Lesbians One Shot I did on stream. I started a Masks Campaign shortly after that stream and in the first session of the shared GM campaign I ran I decided to put Sapphire in as a bit NPC still in her rich bitch era with none of the introspection I gave her for the TSL game. She was a rich girl super hero using tech she mostly just bought along with maybe a few of her own mods added in and part of a corporations super hero department. She ended up with a romance with one of the PCs and she did in fact manage to fix her, mostly, kinda, she improved a lot.

I really enjoy playing a terrible rich girl but typically those characters can not be fun to have around long term but here everyone knew where I was taking her so it was even more fun to be able to lean into it and show that development. She remained a fairly minor character even after the time skip where we switched to Thirsty Sword Lesbians. Sapphire is just one of those really fun characters to have show up and be a little cute or sassy or out of touch and remained a high light any time I brought her in. Most recently I used her in a private RP as a main character but leaning more into the toxic elements for spice and that was a really fun take too.

If you enjoyed hearing about my OCs then you can support me on Patreon or Ko-fi or you can just tell me you liked them. Sharing this stuff probably helps in theory someone hire me to GM something so rebloging helps a lot too.