#mental illness posting

[selamat-linting]

yknow growing up as lgbtq with an embarrassing kink and realizing sexuality from the lens of that fetish has always made me question myself. different from other ppl who grew up as a girl and realize theyre bi later in life, the first person i had a crush on was always women. the person i have daydreams for are always girls. i might have crushes on men, and i have plenty, and i talk a lot about it, but i can never find them sexually attractive from the lense of the kink i developed when i was seven years old. thats how i know im gay basically. i even have a case where a guy i had a crush on online turns out to be a girl, twice.

i guess i found men kind of gross in general? its strange. i thought i was a lesbian and then i thought i was asexual and had a whole angsty teenage phase about it that caused me to internally ping pong between two labels. like, i feel that my attraction to men is just comphet because i cant find them hot in this spesific scenario that always gets me good if a random woman was in it. i said i was bi, but its mostly because i dont mind dating men for social acceptability and friendship reasons, and because im still unsure if im a man or a woman or neither. i wouldnt mind dating men, some of them are nice and i dont think being friends and dating have much difference anyway. i have a guy irl that i absolutely adore and would love to cuddle for hours. but would i like it if i fuck them? not really. but i guess i have to do it because thats what a good partner is supposed to do. so thats the kind of bi i was from 2013-2022. even when i decided im genderfluid, not a full time girl nor a full time dude, my sexuality is very ambiguous.

until i saw that damned dog collar gifset and it sent me to a spiral. i began to find men legit hot in a physical way, and i develop a fixation on cm punk. i began to read a few porn, and i found a some... materials that happens to have my super secret embarrassing fetish that features him in it. and turns out im into it. like really really into it. he's different. i thought he'll simply end up as yet another men i like for a few months but can never truly have the hots with, but no. i really truly find him fuckable. the streak is broken. and he broke it.

so thats why im happy to call myself bi! i really am one. unless he decides to be a girl a few years down the line ofc. but thats unlikely right?

[sweaters-and-vertigo]

the debilitating mental illnesses restricting my daily life:

[violet-phoenix-nebula]

Question for fellow mentally ill people:

I'm not talking just feel bad for the last of a certain item on the shelf and buy 2 instead of 1 so it doesn't get lonely or whatever.

I mean to a point where it causes serious, genuine, lasting emotional distress.

Somebody please tell me I'm not alone here. Please. Please tell me that even one other person experiences this too.

Please reblog this so it gets a wider audience.

[tchaikovskym]

There is always something wrong with ME, so when please will I feel the joy of others, please someone let me feel the joy of others im tired of myself

[craycraybluejay]

Want a very large beautiful woman to say to me, "aww, you wanna kill yourself for mommy?" And while I try to bury further into her soft, warm flesh with a noose around my neck, she pulls me up by it and holds me up a little, choking on my drool and the rope, telling me, "do you need mommy's help? Silly boy." And I desperately paw at her gorgeous body, trying to get a good grip to somehow hold myself up a little away from the pressure of the rope. But I can't get a good hold on her because there is so much rolling, curving fat in a layer of sweat and cooking oil from the sedative-laced cake she baked for her most special little boy (me). She says, "come on, show mommy how much you love her," and lets go of the rope. And like an obedient son I tighten the noose myself. And I look at her. And she looks at me. And I don't know if I'm even doing this for sexual reasons any more but I don't stop. And she lazily touches herself, watching me struggle but continue to stay good for her. "Mommy," I choke out, "let me love you differently." I feel the blood pounding in my ears, in my head. She walks closer to me on her knees, on the bed, and is still a head taller than my hanging body. She smothers me in her breasts and calls me the most precious little thing. Doesn't stop me when I wrap my legs around her soft, great stomach. She unties me gently and suffocates me between her legs this time instead. I don't complain this time when I feel my lungs screaming for air.

[taciturnaroundrealquick]

wheres the love for ugly girls. we have self esteem in the shitter and will melt over any compliment no matter how small because we don't get it from anyone else. we're low value so you can go quantity over quality. im also limited edition because im going to kill mys

[purpleflameb0i]

On one hand, it would be nice to stop dissociating and come back to reality for a change

On the other hand, my current emotions and thoughts are bad enough and I do not want to face them in their entirety !!!!

[certifiedunicornhater]

i love my beautiful wife azulin unicorn wars

[mewesmewesmewes]

having a horrible week mentally and so my sister asked to sleepover w me to make sure I'm safe and everything but I just found out she was supposed to spend the night w her bf and now I feel rlly bad

[in-nihilo]

Group therapy, but make it PVP

[selamat-linting]

i had a sex dream with a white guy that has a giant american flag tattoo... its over for me, i should be excommunicated from the party!

[xaviaaaaaaaaa]

Sometimes when I am tired I think "What if I spray pepperspray directly into my open eyeball that would be cool"

[talestobetold]

goddamnit i’m gonna have to put aside a lot of my horror interests for a while aren’t i

[bojackhorseshit]

"i like crazy girls😛" — mfs who actually do not like crazy girls.

[kitty-lattee]

(AU ART) an au where tsv was turned into a zombie just like danyon was ..

[purpleflameb0i]

Words like "sad" or "mad" can't really describe how I feel

But stuff like "KILL ME KILL ME KILL ME" and screaming and messy, eye straining art can describe how I feel :333