#messages are closed

[secretsinthevoid]

Had one too many spam messages so now messages are off. Asks are still one but for now dms are off

[mjulmjul]

RETURNING OCTOBER 5TH!

[chloesimaginationthings]

DID YOU DONATE TO THE DAWKO CHARITY STREAM?? I SAW YOUR USERNAME POP UP DURING IT :O

Yes I did!! And I suggestion everyone else donates or supports the stream if they can!

[DAWKO STREAM] [DAWKO DONATION LINK]

[inkskinned]

it is all chaos and entropy. the thing is that the chaos and entropy make it beautiful and lovely.

yes, it's true that nature and the universe are uncaring and unspecific, and that is terrifying. i have lived through some of the unfairness - i got born like this, with my body caving into itself, with this ironic love of dance when i sometimes can't stand up for longer than 15 minutes. i am a poet with hands that are slowly shutting down - i can't hold a pen some days. recently i found a dead bird on our front porch. she had no visible injuries. she had just died, the way things die sometimes.

it is also true that nature and the universe are uncaring and unspecific, and that is wonderful. the sheer happenstance that makes rain turn into a rainbow. the impossible coincidence of finding your best friend. i have made so many mistakes and i have let myself down and i have harmed other people by accident. nature moves anyway. on the worst day of my life she delivers me an orange juice sunset, as if she is saying try again tomorrow.

how vast and unknowing the universe! how small we are! isn't that lovely. the universe has given us flowers and harp strings and the shape of clouds. how massive our lives are in comparison to a grasshopper. the world so bright, still undiscovered. even after 30 years of being on this earth, i learned about a new type of animal today: the dhole.

chance echoing in my life like a harmony between two people talking. do you think you and i, living in different worlds but connected through the internet - do you think we've ever seen the same butterfly? they migrate thousands of miles. it's possible, right?

how beautiful the ways we fill the vastness of space. i love that when large amounts of people are applauding in a room, they all start clapping at the same time. i love that the ocean reminds us of our mother's heartbeat. i love that out of all the colors, chlorophyll chose green. i love the coincidences. i love the places where science says i don't know, but it just happens.

"the universe doesn't care about you!" oh, i know. that's okay. i care about the universe. i will put my big stupid heart out into it and watch the universe feast on it. it is not painful. it is strange - the more love you pour into the unfeeling world, the more it feels the world loves you in return. i know it's confirmation bias. i think i'm okay if my proof of kindness is just my own body and my own spirit.

i buried the bird from our porch deep in the woods. that same day, an old friend reaches out to me and says i miss you. wherever you go, no matter how bad it gets - you try to do good.

[saltpepperbeard]

oh, don’t mind me, just thinking about-

-how stede tends to sleep on his back, which i’m pretty sure is just the biggest open invitation for ed to sleep cuddled up on his chest, snuggled impossibly close

[puppyeared]

doodles of my fav sillies

anton belongs to @poicyss

[vaspider]

[no advice, no platitudes. give me either on this post & I'll yeet you into the fucking sun]

Survivor's guilt fucking sucks.

It sucks even if it takes you nearly eleven years and the death of a second friend before you realize you're carrying it around. Or maybe just admit that you're carrying it around.

I got the benign intradural extramedullary ependymoma in my spine. Ginny got the aggressive metastatic cancer in hers. I had surgery and kept walking. She fucking died.

Why her? Why her and not me?

I was stupid levels of in love with her. A lot of people were. It was hard not to be.

So why one of the singularly most lovable people on the planet and not the fucking pain in the ass? (Don't, okay? I know I'm harder to get along with than she ever was. It's the truth. You don't help or flatter me by denial.)

She died on April 23. On May 9th, I almost died three times in recovery from the surgery that removed the Evil Grape from the sheath of my spinal cord. My blood pressure crashed repeatedly, and in a recovery room that I remember as being pitch black, she came to visit me. At the time, that seemed completely normal. I didn't question it. Of course she was here. Where else would she be?

I was dying, and Ginny was there. Of course.

We talked for a long, long time. She got up to go, and I tried to get up and go with her, and she told me I couldn't. I didn't understand because I didn't remember then that she was dead.

I still don't understand why she died and I lived. I still don't understand why Kep died and I'm still here.

It's not fucking fair. Why did I get a dodge and they didn't? Why am I still breathing and they're not?

I know there are no Reasons. That doesn't mean I don't keep asking myself in the dark and quiet.

So yeah. Survivor's guilt is a bitch. It's helped a little bit when one of the people who Gets It more than anyone else in the world happens to message you right after you lose your shit at The Longest Johns' version of Wild Mountain Thyme and end up sobbing into a sink full of dirty dishes, but it still fucking sucks.

In nine days, it'll be 11 years.

[weirdphilosopher]

me when i accidentally accept a gift in the crossroads before i thank the other person in the little chatbox

[felsicveins]

screaming, creaming, falling to the floor I found all your glenn close art and the one with milk shake under his tits is iconic

thank you for your work

Glenn will forever be my baby girl ❤️

[butterflysonnets]

yes i'm rooting for m*leven breakup because byler is neat but mostly? i'm rooting for m*leven breakup for the sake of el and mike.

to me, their romance was always a puppy love born out of a combination of social pressures, naïve curiosity, and a lack of true understanding regarding intimacy and romantic love and what it really is. it was real in that they do truly, deeply care about each other and they are close friends, maybe even shared an attraction, but a maturing romance is so much more than that. they've grown up and out of being boyfriend/girlfriend, and that's okay! i think television/film needs to show more often that most of us don't have definite "soulmates" or first childhood loves that we spend our whole lives with. it doesn't mean these relationships meant nothing and didn't impact us, it just means they've run their course and that something else is in the cards, and this is part of life!

i've always felt el was at her best and most confident self when broken up with mike, discovering who she was and what she liked alongside another girl her age instead of just relying on mike for mentorship on how to live in the real world. she deserves more of an opportunity to find herself, her autonomy, and her independence, and to love who she is, and she's made it clear she's felt insecure in the relationship with mike because she isn't being loved and understood the way she wants, needs, and deserves from someone who is her partner.

also, it's okay if mike doesn't love her in "the way he should". he is not obligated to love her romantically and stay in a relationship with her just because she's a girl, because she "needed someone", or because he cares about her a lot. he shouldn't be pressured into a romance if it's not truly coming from his heart. he deserves freedom to find out and honour who he is, too, instead of just staying in his non-functional first relationship — one he got into as a child, essentially — and defining himself that way because it's what's expected when a boy and a girl are close. he loves her in some way, yes, but it's okay if he doesn't feel comfortable or secure being her boyfriend anymore, for whatever reason that is. he's felt insecure too, and that's valid and it matters.

they are their own people and are steadily growing and changing every day. they need time to figure out who those people are, and it's become clear (at least in my opinion) that those people aren't meant to be a couple at this stage.

they deserve freedom. they deserve to grow up and be authentic to themselves and not feel like they need to lie for the sake of a relationship. they deserve to move on from this version of their relationship that isn't making them happy and rekindle the best part of their bond: their strong, beautiful friendship. they don't have to be a couple if it doesn't make them stronger and better and happier people.

i think it would be healthy and wonderful for a show, especially one consumed frequently by young adults, to show a relationship starting, progressing, and ending on good terms in this way. sometimes things don't work out, and that is okay.

[lucent-blade]

The only thing I truly have a distaste of within Julian’s postcards is the fact that his handwriting is legible. It was confirmed his writing is absolutely indecipherable. Do not be shy, make his messages at the back of the card absolutely terrible and impossible to read.

[medicalunprofessional]

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

Okay, I think I’ve been burnt out for a bit and overwhelmed. I’m so sorry my inbox is still closed. I promise I’ll reopen it when I can. I’m just tired, stressed, and burnt out that I don’t think I could handle answering so many questions.

I truly do love helping all of you and everyone else on this site, but I just can’t do it right now. I don’t even know how to get out of this burn out myself despite sharing many posts about it…

Sorry about the little rambling there. I hope all of you are doing well. Stay safe on Halloween, if you’re celebrating, and have fun. :)

You can share the candy you got too. I would be more than happy to see what you all got.

Also: next month will be Epilepsy Awareness Month. So I’m excited to share and post about it as well as my personal experiences.

Thank you for taking your time to read this. I appreciate it. ♥️

[variksel]

taking a DEEP BREATH yeah but have you considered that taylor broke the cycle in the exact way than his friends did, through love, and his character development might have been more subtle yeah but it was still extremely there and taylors ending was SUCH a good addition to the message at the core of season 2 because it says "hey your parents fucked up and YOU DONT HAVE TO FORGIVE THEM"

taylors character development was realizing that his dad FUCKED UP massively. and maybe he had justified reasons for it, even. just like the other dads, he had reasons for why he did what he did. but that doesnt erase the fact that it was fucked up, and that nicky hurt taylor, and that the damage is irreversible. and taylor doesnt have to forgive that, he doesnt have to put up with it.

i think its so good and important that linc and norm for example forgave their dads and love them at the end of all of s2. they chose their fucked up dads and they broke the cycle of fucking up, but its equally as important that taylor did that too by choosing to NOT forgive his dad. and at the end of the day he broke it by choosing love, by seeing who his dad really is and choosing to love his mom who was always there for him instead of the deadbeat with good intentions

"this is as good as it gets." and for taylor, that wasnt good enough

[nemesis-tea]

Shockwave, how does it feel to be cursed with knowledge?

[ghcstcd]

have a you ever seen what a velvet worm is? If not then I highly suggest you do. Trust me, you’ll be pleasantly surprised

This creature looks so pathetic, I was compelled to draw it.