#messy character analysis

[anidealistatbestburntoutatworst]

now my question to the jury is- why is kunikida so often made to be this overly obsessive idealist who’s go-to emotion is angst related?!? like we are talking about the man who has one of the galaxies largest guilt complex and ideals or otherwise is really just out here doing his best as he goes along?!?!

like yes he has his moments of annoyance but i think that so much of that is rooted in the internal battle raging on like 24/7 because of his ideals-

like this man has been passed off as being naive when he actually maintains a deeper understanding/appreciation of the world bc despite how awful it has been to him time and time again he remains loyal to his ideals and is willing to do whatever it takes to see they are fulfilled to the best of their abilities- like hello?!?!

sorry sorry i’ll get off my soap box now

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

My Lawyer is going to Get Your Ass.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[risestarkiss]

Rise Ramblings #596

How Donnie thinks he sneezes:

"Ah, ah, ah, sneeze!"

How he actually sneezes:

"...Achooie!"

[emryste]

l'amour et la morte

[cementcornfield]

Ugh I can’t stand how chiefs fans are making fun of jamarr and calling him a diva (among other names) when Travis literally screamed in his coach’s face during the Super Bowl and has been ejected from a game before for disrespecting the ref.

tbh i don't mind chiefs fans shit talking ja'marr, they have every reason to hate him. he's embarrassed their team plenty and has done more than his share of shit talking. let them have their fun (although i agree it's def hypocritical after that travis moment that i guess no one ever wants to talk about!)

what upsets me SO much though is seeing our own fans turn on him. calling him selfish for the hold-in, blaming him for the contract debacle, saying he's overrated, saying we should trade him and keep tee (when they were all saying the exact opposite when tee requested a trade TWICE a few months ago 🙄). and i do understand that ja'marr was in the wrong for this penalty, but getting ridiculous penalties against the chiefs is kind of just what he does! like it cannot be emphasized enough how much that man hates the chiefs lmao.

ja'marr has been STRUGGLING these past few months and it's obvious how much of a toll this has taken on him. i'm not at all surprised things boiled over to a tipping point when he thought he was tackled in a particularly dangerous way (whether he was right or wrong, he DID believe it). right now he's taking a huge risk being out on the field at all without any real guarantees for the future. that shit is scary, it's scary betting on yourself even when you do believe in yourself 100%. people play better when they feel secure, when they feel valued, and the front office did everything they could this offseason to make him feel the opposite.

i'm really hoping he can have a big game this monday. supposedly the commanders defense is Not Good, so that should help us! (i just hope it isn't a trap game for us. but the fact that we're 0-2 i think will make the guys take it seriously.) winning helps cure all ails for competitors like ja'marr, and i believe we've got a lot of that ahead of us!

[boyfriendgideon]

as yr favorite local jason todd fan sometimes i get so fed up with the apparent inability of most dc comic writers to write a class conscious narrative about him.

and yes, i know that comics are a very ephemeral and constantly evolving and self-conflicting medium.

and yes, i know they’re a profit-driven art medium created in a capitalistic society, so there are very few times where comics are going to be created solely out of the desire to authentically and carefully and deliberately represent a character and take them from one emotional narrative place to another, because dc cares about profit and sometimes playing it safe is what sells.

and yes, i know comics and other forms of art reflect and recreate the society within which they were conceived as ideas, and so the dominant societal ideas about gender and race and class and so on are going to be recreated within comics (and/or will be responded to, if the writer is particularly societally conscious).

but jesus christ. you (the writer/writers) have a working class character who has been homeless, who has lost multiple parents, who has been in close proximity to someone struggling with addiction, who has had to steal to survive, who may have (depending on your reading of several different moments across different comics created by different people) been a victim of csa, who has clearly (subtextually) struggled with his mental health, who was a victim of a violent murder, and who has an entirely distinct and unique perspective on justice that has evolved based on his lived experiences.

and instead of delving into any of that, or examining the myriad of ways that classism in the writers’ room and the editors’ room and the readers’ heads affected jason’s character to make sure you’re writing him responsibly, or giving him a plotline where his views on what justice looks like are challenged by another working class character, or allowing him to demonstrate actual autonomy and agency in deciding what relationships he wants to have with people who he loves but sees as having failed him in different ways, or thinking carefully about what his having chosen an alias that once belonged to his murderer says about his decision-making and motivations, you keep him stuck in a loop of going by the red hood, addressing crime by occupying a position of relative power that perpetuates crime & harm rather than ever getting at the root causes, and seesawing between a) agreeing with his adoptive family entirely about fighting nonlethally in ways that are often inconsistent with his apparent motivations or b) disagreeing and experiencing unnecessarily brutal and violent reactions from his adoptive father as if that kind of violence isn’t the kind of thing he experienced as a child and something bruce himself is trying to prevent jason from perpetuating. because a comic with red hood, quips, high stakes, and familial drama sells.

it doesn’t matter if it keeps jason trapped, torn between an unanswered moral and philosophical question, a collection of identities that no longer fit him, and a family that accepts him circumstantially. it doesn’t matter if jason’s characterization is so utterly inconsistent that the only way to mesh it together is to piece different aspects of different titles and plotlines together like a jigsaw. it doesn’t matter if you do a disservice to his character, because in the end you don’t want to transform him or even understand him deeply enough to identify what makes him compelling and focus on that.

and i love jason!!!!! i love him. and i think about the stories we could have, if quality and art and doing justice to the character were prioritized as much as selling a title and having a dark and brooding batfam member besides bruce just to be the black sheep character are prioritized. and i just get a little sad.

[quasarzt]

They are best friends to me. MLM WLW solidarity.

And while Zach looks grumpy, I like to think that's just his personality. He does genuinely enjoy Donita's company, and Donita knows that.

LONG NOTES AHEAD!!

I know it's OOC and my own personal headcanons, and just making a silly cartoon more serious than it needs to be. But I love slice of life stuff, especially when it comes to the villains. Like we only ever get to see them on screen when they're being evil, or otherwise involved with a villain plot. The only times I can remember that resembles just their regular work of sorts, or just living their life, is when Zach is casted as this extra of sorts. In the Draco episode, he's seen just being used as security for Donita, which the implication that she hired him for that job is very fun to play with. Because clearly the villains know each other and clearly interact when they're off screen. Another one is where Gourmand is inviting the others to meals, and that's just what it is, they're just out for dinner, even if it's illegal. But they're not doing anything villainous in their usual style, they're just living their lives.

I don't care if it's mundane or boring, but I love that. So my point is, basically, what if a little character study fic that's slightly OOC from the characters on screen, but it's just, Donita and Zach out for drinks. Zach is drinking black coffee, several shots of espresso, and he's quietly typing away on his Varmitech branded laptop (which suggests a few things of his character. that he's chronically tired, which explains his dark eye bags. But also because in business, the world never stops turning, and he has to keep up with whatever deal he's currently working on. And the other thing it suggests, that Zach very much produces other things in his line of work. That he's not just after animals to use them for animal testing, but rather, he has a main line of work that he uses for business, and perhaps that working with animals is just a personal side gig, or even something he does for clients he knows will pay well, no matter if the deal is dark or not).

Donita is drinking a chai, and every single time they ever go out just to chat or catch up, when they're not talking business, she loves to experiment with what she tries. Every single time, she tends to go for a chai, but the flavor is always different. She also dresses to the nines, but usually in sleeker and more comfortable fashion. Something that'll make her look great, but she's also got sunglasses on to hide her face a bit if the press comes by. I imagine she's rather famous, as she's a fashionista. The two of them rarely have time to meet up, and generally only go out for drinks when they're working together (suggested in the Draco episode that they do work together from time to time). But she's also just talking, about anything and everything, and Zach quietly listens and chimes in from time to time.

And sometimes he's extra with his flare, ever so flamboyant, but i think when he's just with donita he chills it down a tad, as if he can just be him. (also zach's technically famous too? but only in the same sense that's he just one of those rich guys. but he's got so much security and otherwise does a lot of stuff privately that you don't hear much about him. you know his name, but you don't know much about him at all. just like irl, only really hear what they tell you).

But i think of them as best friends ykno. That Zach and Donita are completely platonic, and at first were just clients and allies in their darker line of work. But over time, grew a certain respect for each other. Donita will usually use this time to make sure Zach is up to date in trends, referring him to several new colognes he can try out since the one he's using is So last season. She picks him apart in that sense, but never in a mean way.

She cares for him in the sense that she knows he prides himself on professionalism. So she keeps him up to date and looking fresh, even if he returns back to his usual turtleneck sweater.

But i love seeing them as friends, even if canonically the villains seem to despise Zach, and only have an interest in using him for their personal advantage, such as paying him to make them products, and seeing no other use for him because he's annoying. And i get that!! I love that!! But there's just something nice about Donita and Zach sharing quiet moments. or maybe Donita teasing Zach, maybe even prods at him about his dating life, asking him if he wants her to be a wingwoman, much to his dismay. To me, i love them just being confidants in each other. Sure Donita has Dabio, and i love the idea that Dabio is fond of Zach when they do get to interact, but when it's just Zach and Donita, she's there for him too. Because I imagine Donita is very good at reading people, minus when it comes to Martin of course, but her own personal bias seems to blind her in how she sees him. Because I think she sees Martin as like this perfect model, someone she could definitely use on the runway, but doesn't know him enough to actually know what his body language/social cues mean.

But the fashion industry is very competitive and fast paced, just like the business world. So they don't have a lot of time to meet up together, but I do think they have nice moments where they get to talk about other stuff besides business. Just, quiet times where they're just out for a drink. Talking about business, slowly delving into life stuff in general, then it turns into their mutual hatred yet respect for the wild kratts. Because i do think they respect the wild kratts, to a degree, but they also interfere with their business, which is why they reasonably hate them too, even if they're the ones in the wrong. I imagine Dabio joins them a lot, sometimes even Gourmand when he's in the mood to host, but for the most part, just Donita and Zach catching up. IDK I SEE THEM AS GOOD FRIENDS !!!!! I JUST THINK THAT IDEA IS NICE EVEN IF IT MIGHT SEEM FAR FETCHED!!!!! BUT I MADE A DRAWING FOR IT :)

[inconmess]

I've been building up this post for quite a while so I think everything in this post is kinda out of order and looks like a bit of a big word vomit... So sorry in advance. Also since it is kinda longer than I realise, I am putting it under the cut. And I am open to any discussion.

(Personally think I may have gotten a few things wrong and if so, please correct me?)

I think the thing about Orym and grief is... A part of him has never let himself grieve his loss properly. He has accepted that they are dead and will never come back, yes. He makes it a point to live up to them everyday, yes. But acceptance is not the same as grief, it is a part of it but not the same.

And this was an interesting discussion I was having with my friends and I feel that it strikes so true here, is the fact that you remember the worst moments of your life more vividly than the happiest moments because in your happy moments, you don't question what happened to you as much as you question your worst moments in life.

And Orym has lived with that question for six years. Now, the same could be said to Ashton and Imogen and Fearne and the rest of the Bells Hells really but as pointed out in this post by @caeslxys. (a really good pot btw) Even though the others have had their questions as to why a particular bad incident happened, Orym has had the shortest time to actually cope with it while for the others, it has been years at this point and maybe they have sort of come to peace with most of their shit before it came back to hit them in their face. And for some, it just hit them recently.

And for Orym the question of "Why?" resurfaces again and again the more he seeks out answers and when he does get the answer... I don't think anyone would really love to learn that the two most important people in their lives were dead because "it was just collateral damage. They didn't really have to die but they did." Not when you were having a happy, peaceful life. They signed up for this, yes. But it is also not fair to have your whole life cut short just because a big shot wants to test a theory.

And I am not trying to say that Orym bringing up his losses every time they have a discussion about the Vanguard is right or wrong because he has every right to and may be wrong at the same time because he is biased. Because at this point, he is very biased.

Apart from what I mentioned above, Orym watched Otohan kill his husband and father. He fought Otohan again and this time lost his life, Fearne and Laudna. He fights Otohan again and nearly loses Keyleth. Fights Otohan again a fourth time and knows that there would've been more losses if FCG hadn't sacrificed themselves. Not to forget Otohan killing Eshteross, something I think Orym internally blames himself for because she read his mind for the information. And even if Otohan is now dead, the loss stays.

I also think that seeing Will when he died had more of a personal impact than he realised because I know while seeing the dead person can sometimes bring some comfort, at the same time, when you are trying to live up to them, trying to answer questions that are just beyond you when you really haven't had the chance to completely grieve and accept, the grief possibly just hits you more.

SO while the Hells have had their personal losses with the Vanguard and Otohan, I think Orym has had the longest beef with the group among them all. He didn't know about the Vanguard 6 years ago, yes. He discovered their name along with the rest of the Hells. But loss wise, Orym was the first of the lot to suffer due to the Vanguard.

This is not me trying to put an exact scale or measurement of the loss cuz it is intangible and stuff. But he's been dealing with it for 6 years. Maybe not for harbouring revenge, but the resentment hasn't completely gone but rather festered the more he seeked answers. So he is going to be extra jaded.

But not to forget the fact that up until Bordor, he did try to see the Vanguard's point too, still kinda does (the locket he took from a Vanguard member as a reminder) but I think by the time of Bordor's betrayal, he's had too many losses with the Vanguard to actually care of their point of view because all he's seen of their group is innocent people getting killed or almost killed for no reason at all.

Bordor's beef as a person from the Vanguard had been against Laudna, Orym and Ashton but he still nearly killed Prism and would've probably marked it off as collateral if she'd died. Dropping off the locket with Bordor doesn't mean that he left all his empathy but at the same time, like he mentions, they are at war. And war doesn't really discriminate amongst people. It just takes.

Like he said to Imogen, I think he still tries to believe the Vanguard can have some people who are good and not all of them are evil but all he's know from the Vanguard at this point is loss and Liliana's blind faith towards Ludinus or Predathos doesn't help.

So back to the recent episode.

Do I think that it is wrong for Orym to bring up to Liliana about his dead family as an answer to her response. No. Do I think it was a wrong time to bring it up? Maybe. Because Liliana was not being confrontational but Orym was turning confrontational the more the discussion happened.

But the thing about Orym saying it to her face is that... It is one thing to know that there have been deaths and even if Liliana didn't directly cause it, she was a part of the group that did and brush it off as collateral damage. And no one does a census or survey post the "collateral damage" on how it affects the other person because now, they have what they want to there is no use to go back there.

And Orym is kinda like that mirror which is like... "SO you had a loss because of the gods and now are going around leaving collateral damage you want to fix stuff? Guess what? Your collateral damage was my life that you just uprooted just like the gods/god people did yours, so are you really any different from the people you hate and the change you want to bring about?" (which is kinda the parallel between Orym and Bordor I find really interesting because this is a cycle that is never ending at the end of the day)

And did Orym need that outlet? Hells yeah. GIVE THAT MAN A HUG!

[essayist-unexpectedly]

Something Isn't Right Here: An Analysis of Form

Within the indie game OMORI, the mysterious figures known as Something plays a detrimental role to the character’s Sunny and Basil. The haunting figure symbolises many things - when the boys realised Mari died, how their guilt affects them, and who caused the death that their Something shows. However, while Something may represent the same things for the two, its form vastly differs, just as their views of the day do. While only a figment of the duo’s imagination, Something is important in many ways when it comes to understanding Sunny and Basil’s views of the day that Mari died - especially in how they contrast each other.

Sunny’s version of Something is the first one who is met. His Something takes the form of Mari’s hanging hair, with one of her eyes glaring through her bangs. This form's origins are outright shown in OMORI, as the photo of Mari’s hanging body transforms into the photo. This very much seems to be the moment when Sunny fully processes that Mari is dead, as within the photo album, he was the one who wanted to pull her into bed as if she were simply passed out. One can guess that this denial and shock led to a catatonic state of sorts, one that continued until Sunny turned back and saw her in the tree. The form that Sunny’s Something takes is based on his realisation of when she died, which is also linked to his sense of guilt throughout most of the game. 

Something relates to Sunny’s sense of guilt through a sense of looming doom and disconnect. Before it is completely revealed how Mari died, Something is a very foreboding being. It is a mystery, a jumpscare, one that truly seems to haunt Sunny as it keeps coming back. The way that Something hangs around Sunny so consistently represents how the boy is so consistently guilty, always feeling terrible over Mari’s death. The other way that Something beautifully encapsulates Sunny’s guilt, is how detached Something is. Where Basil’s Something is shown consuming him, Sunny’s Something is always hanging just over his shoulder, a few feet back from him. This feels very symbolic of how Sunny doesn’t even remember that Mari is dead, let alone that he caused her death. The first Something is meant to encase Sunny’s guilt and disconnect to Mari’s death, as well as showing when he truly realises that she is gone, all through the form it takes and when it first manifests.

While the looming sense of guilt is shown by Sunny’s Something, it can also be noted that this form isn’t caused by the death that Sunny caused. Rather, the form of Sunny’s Something can be credited to the death that Basil was responsible for, as the blonde is the one who hung her body. This shows that while Sunny is the one who views Mari’s death as the hanging death, and makes his Something the direct result of Basil’s actions - and not just in the way of the other boy insisting that it was Something who pushed her. By having Basil’s hanging of Mari cause the form of Something that Sunny sees, there is a certain disconnect to the truth that is shown even in Something’s form. The way that Something appears hung simply cements how Sunny’s view of Mari’s death was impacted by Basil’s actions. This form adds another layer of complexity to Something within Sunny’s perspective.

In many ways, Basil's form of Something differs from Sunny's. One such way is how Basil’s Something looks, and with that, when Basil realised Mari was dead. Rather than the hung version of Mari, Basil’s Something appears as her hair scattered on the floor, with her eyes peering out from underneath it. Within this appearance, Basil shows that he knew Mari was dead from the moment that she landed on the ground and the broken violin. After all, Basil never once denies that Mari is dead, only that Sunny was the one who killed her, even if his helping drag her to bed may make it appear like he too thought she was still alive. Instead, the form that Basil’s Something takes shows that he had realised that she was dead, even if he didn’t appear to acknowledge it at that point.

With this form also comes the understanding of how Basil’s guilt over his own actions affects him. Instead of the guilt that hangs just out of reach from being unaware of the events that transpired that day, Basil’s Something shows that his guilt is constantly swallowing him whole. He may not have been the one to kill her, but Basil still holds a lot of guilt from his actions after Mari’s death. Instead of being haunted by a guilt that he cannot understand, Basil feels his guilt everyday, and he is always being consumed by the guilt of his actions and how they affected those around him. He is never out of reach of the horror he feels at his actions, never able to deny that what he did was wrong, even if he was doing it to try to protect Sunny. The way that Basil’s Something is shown to be a mess who holds him captive represents how he feels he will never escape the guilt of his actions.

The final way that Basil’s Something differs from Sunny’s is how his own is caused by Sunny’s killing of Mari, rather than his own hanging of her body. Basil’s Something being the hair that shrouded her face, revealing only her eyes on the ground is directly related to Sunny pushing her down the stairs. He may not acknowledge that Sunny committed that accidental murder, but subconsciously he knows that the death of Mari happened at those stairs. Which really, Basil does know that her death was then, as he lies to their friends about her death by creating a scene of suicide, but not to himself nor Sunny about her death happening earlier on. It is Sunny’s actions that create Something for Basil, both out of denial of the crime, and in the form that his Something takes to remind him of their crimes.

Within OMORI, Something is able to show Sunny and Basil’s contrasting views of the day that Mari died. From who caused her death, to the guilt that they feel, and when they realised she was dead, Something is able to beautifully capture every aspect of Mari’s death in the two’s eyes. A haunting spirit who reminds them of their actions, whether they acknowledge them or not, Sunny and Basil’s differing Something’s formed based on their views of the day that Mari died, and show how they have lived after the accident, even if it came at the price of their mental wellbeing.

[alfiely-art]

Major Akuma Kun (2023) spoilers, warning you rn

Yk what gets me about this show is that it would've been really easy to make Strophaia a big bad evil villain who simply uses Ichiro and manipulates him for his own gain. But they don't. They make a point to show that Ichiro loves Strophaia, and that Strophaia loves him, too. That's why Strophaia wants to release everyone's light, I think- or at least, a big part of the reason. He wants to free Ichiro, to have him by his side- and to do that, he needs to have Ichiro be like him.

Unless Ichiro has some special powers aside from being Akuma Kun, he's really just some normal boy. Strophaia was surprised that he had some hidden destiny. This tells me that Ichiro specifically wasn't needed to free the woman in chains. But Strophaia wanted him to do it. He didn't want anyone else to do it, he wanted Ichiro to be the one to choose to free himself and everyone. And he would have, if Shingo and Mephisto II didn't take Ichiro.

Strophaia feels as though his loved one was taken from him, was stolen. That's why he wants to torture Shingo, even after the man is near death already. He didn't care to torture Mephisto III- he was honestly just a casualty in this whole thing. Something to push Ichiro to the edge of grief so the flute would finally break. In his eyes, his beloved Aeshma was stolen and forced into a role he never wanted to have. And honestly? He's not too off the mark. Ichiro had a lot of trouble dealing with this destiny that was thrown onto him, who wouldn't?

It's Strophaia's love that pushes him to do what he does. He's older than almost everyone in the show, save for Satan. But he loves this human. This seemingly random human who was abandoned by his kind.

It's Ichiro's love that both causes Strophaia to almost win, and also the thing that defeats him. For now.

It's just... idk. In a lot of shows they have the protagonist go up against someone they hate, someone who's harmed them or their loved ones and seemingly has no good qualities. But when shows make the motivation love? Ourgh. Ourgh. It's so good. I don't even mean romantic love here. Platonic, familial, any kind of love. Love isn't this pure thing that will solve everything. Love is messy. Love is hard. And I really like how they show that. All the people Ichiro loves hurt him in some way, and he hurts them back, too. Not out of maliciousness- simply out of being human. Despite, yk, a good portion of the cast being demons. But I digress.

I really hope season two takes a closer look at all the.... conflicted feelings Ichiro definitely has. Strophaia is most likely returning, considering they didn't use that scroll. I want to see where their relationship heads. Honestly, I can see a redemption or a double down from Strophaia.

Another thing I wanna point out is how desperate Strophaia was to stop Ichiro from using the flute. He shields himself with his wings, he looks downright terrified. He's begging, repeating "Aeshma" over and over as his voice cracks. It's just. So gripping. Strophaia had all the confidence in the world that Ichiro would come back to him, and not only did Ichiro not do that- he aimed to kill him. Like. Ourgh. Obviously Strophaia needed to be defeated, man's was hurting people, but. Imagine the betrayal. Heck, how Ichiro feels. He's doing the same thing he did all those years ago, what accidentally separated him and Strophaia in the first place- what started the cracks in the flute!!! It's just!!!! Ourgh!!!!!!!!!

[nosleep83]

‼️‼️LONG MM!RAPH APPRECIATION POST‼️‼️

This is really messy BUT I just needed to talk about Mutant Mayhem Raph for a second.

I love how his character is handled in mutant mayhem so fucking much- like. He’s obviously violent and rough like the other Raphs but also isn’t afraid to be affectionate.

I also love how he rarely directs his anger towards his brothers. It’s honestly such a breath of fresh air after 2012 Raph (not that I dislike 2012 Raph, I actually like him a lot, it’s just yk different). He mainly only takes out his anger on bad guys and stuff it’s great.

ALSO WHEN HE SAVED DONNIE FROM GETTING HIT BY A CAR BY TACKLING HIM OUT OF THE WAY. I LOVE HIM. And how he was the first to offer singing for Donnie even though he was actively getting tortured I’m in shambles.

“For the first time in your life, you didn’t sound lame. You actually kinda sounded like a leader.” The fact that RAPH is the one who says this line is just so important to me. All other versions of Raph (to my knowledge) have always rebelled against Leo’s leadership (so does MM!Raph a bit) and to have RAPH be the one to say this. I cant.

“Now that we’re actually about to die, there’s nothing I’d rather be looking at.” IN. SHAMBLES. HE LOVES HIS FAMILY SO FUCKING MUCH AND ITS SO CLEAR AND ATABSJAYABSJSUSB

[winters-rose-daughterofcain]

Okay It's no long 2AM so Everlark and their mommy issue lets go lol and how their parents have impacted them and their relationship but the first one has a better ring. (This is actually part one it got too long so this is just Katniss sorry Peeta)

First, Katniss. Now I'm not here to just shit on Mrs Everdeen, I think my final opinion of her falls in the 'good person but bad parent' category. She was never malicious or cruel and would never do anything to intentionally hurt her children, she feels awful about how she reacted after Mr Everdeen's death and actively makes strides to improve and work on her and Katniss's relationship. Depression and grief are not pretty and as Katniss says, sometimes things happen to people and they're not quipped to deal with them. She even grows to empathise with and understand her mother eventually.

However her children were still starving, an eleven year old Katniss was still forced as her families main provider with no resources and no help, she was still parentified at a very young age and that had had a great effect on how she forms relationships and how she trusts people. The main way being that she doesn't, not without work. It takes her and Gale months to years of mutually beneficial back and forth and a foundation of a transactional relationship for her to allow him in, and even then never in a way in which she was relying on him for something she couldn't do herself. Mrs Everdeens kindness was a detriment in some ways, as Katniss has now internalised that people still have to capacity to hurt and leaver her no matter how much kindness and softness they show. Kind people are still a weakness to her she says it herself, but I think subconsciously she's a little wary of them. It takes work for Katniss to trust someone, they need to prove themself to be dependable and consistent, and I think that is a core value she looks for in a partner.

And with Mr Everdeen, Katniss has nothing less then positive memories of him, obviously coloured by her losing him as a child and that loss potentially erasing certain flaws in her memory, but regardless it's clear they had a very positive relationship. He taught her to hunt, to provide for the ones she loved and to keep herself alive, he was kind and strong and a man not unfamiliar with sacrifice, but he still retained the fundamental joy of music. He still retained this creative, useless to survival skill because he wanted to, because he valued it as something important to him and even if Katniss dismisses music in the beginning, it clearly holds great value to her as well.

The relationship between her parents before her father's death was honestly quite a good example for her. She grew up in a home where people loved each other, in a house of poverty yes, but a home where her mother lit up whenever she called her farther name, a home where her parents clearly adored each other and her and Prim and made no pretence of hiding or dimming it. The story of her mother's abandonment by her own family showing her early on however that this has not come without sacrifice. I think, due to her limited interactions with other people she internalised this version of love and relationships as the only true one, further confusing her later on when the messy situations she finds herself in and feeling love for do not match this image exactly, even if she's drawing similarities.

We as people are drawn to familiarity, it's the reason why a lot of people from abusive homes end up in abusive relationships, a burnt child loves the fire and all that. When we love, we intrinsically seek out things that feel familiar, because with familiarity comes a sense of safety whether or not that is actually the case. Katniss is drawn to Peeta partially because of the ways in which he reminds her of her father, she draws the connections constantly this isn't even speculation. She describes her father as strong, as kind, as a person who left her feeling safe, a feelings no ones arms have ever given her again until Peeta, again something she explicitly says. He also has the softer, more creative side that her father did, with art and painting instead of music yes, but he still holds room and importance on something seemingly useless and impractical at first glance.

With her mother I think is where Peeta's dependability come into play. Katniss longs for stability, she was never given it with her parents, and while not their fault or something they could control was damaging to her. She wants something unmoving something stable and dependable and reliable, someone who, while she's busy taking care of everyone else will take care of her, the role her mother should have taken. And who fills that for her? Peeta. His love for her, she admits in Mockingjay, was something she had as a given, as something unmovable, dependable. He is stability for her, he's strength and reliability because from the moment she stopped second guessing his intentions him and his love for her has been a constant.

She also draws parallels between her relationship with him and her parents relationship with each other a lot and narratively they parallel each other a lot, but other people have already talked at length about that. Their love may not be as uncomplicated as she remembers her parents being, but the similarities are there regardless. When Peeta is taken by the Capital Katniss loses it. She finally understands her mother. She doesn't say it explicitly, never actually says 'I love him' but it's excruciatingly obvious she does. The Katniss in Mockingjay in a girl in mourning. This also comes with her understanding her mother more, the comparison between Peeta and her father are not for lack of want, but Katniss resents the similarities between her and her mother at first, many girls do especially when their mother has let them down in some fundamental way. The wretched mirror of mother and daughter a curse as old as time. But the more Katniss lives, the more she understands her mother's life, the less she resents being similar to her, the more she grows to forgive her, allowing certain comparisons to come thought even more.

Her parent's and upbringing have played a big role in how she loves and who she loves, and it's so obvious in the progression of her and Peeta's relationship. Her initial distrust, her wanting to like him inspire of herself, their slow growing together, the absolute certainty she has of her care for him, how utterly destroyed she becomes after almost losing him, the fact that after everything, they were able to grow back together and find something worth having. Katniss choses Peeta for a lot of reasons, honestly there was never even a choice, but I think her upbringing and the ways in which she saw or didn't see her parents and their love in him definitely played a role.

[qcoded]

Belos, and the way he purposely appealed to The Collector: A TOH ANALYSIS.

I feel like one of the reasons that The Collector trusted Belos so much, was because he literally made himself appealing to them.

Despite the few scenes that they have, you can probably name a few of the aspects he changed around them. But one of the most apparent ones for me, was how Belos basically changed the way he spoke around them.

In a lot of the moments where they appeared together, he seemed to use a much more softer & sing-songy voice around them, as well as more simpler and 'friendlier' language. It's not even just with The Collector, through-out multiple times in the series he's changed his behaviour around individual people.

To name an example, let's start off with their initial meeting. Although Philip/Belos was speaking in an already soft tone of voice towards Luz and Lilith in Elsewhere and Elsewhen, it was much more calmer and monotone.

"Thank you for your kindness, crab maiden. Perhaps we were destined to meet."

Despite the obvious compliment, his words almost feel empty. There's no feeling of "thankfulness" behind them, just a pat to the shoulder and that's it. But that's the thing, even Lilith said it in the same scene. He just says everything a person wants to hear, and to Luz, just hearing his 'gratitude' through a sentence was enough to make her feel nice for assisting him so kindly.

However, when you look at when two of his scenes with the Collector, you can see Philip's shift in tone and behaviour.

Although he still had an almost blank expression, the very first thing he said when he unburied their plate and held it up was an almost playful, but simple "Found you", literally singing it out, around the end.

I feel like this is due to the fact that, Philip definitely knew The Collector was a child and made that subconcious switch in his words while speaking for them. It was made way more apparent when he was talking to their tablet and calling them these (objectively) silly names, at the same time looking endeared while speaking. Philip's face almost lit up as they called them 'a round boy'.

Like Lilith said, to Philip, he immediately started to speak like how you'd typically do with a child. Much more playful wording, and friendlier mannerisms even.

Although I believe at the start of their relationship that Belos treated The Collector more kindly to have them warm up to him, even later on you can still see this happening.

In the memory of Belos & The Collector in Hollow Mind, it's even more obvious than my previous examples. Belos & The Collector are quite literally playing a game, in this case Hide & Seek, with Belos being the one to start the whole interaction.

And again, when he's calling out for The Collector at the start he's using that playful, but gentle sing-songy voice. He's going along with their little game, because he's been doing this for *decades* now. Exactly what I mean when I say Belos appeals to them, he's giving into their childish nature and feeding onto it.

Likewise with his language, Belos changes it to make things sound more engaging to them. Although The Collector knew what was happening with the Day of Unity, with the way Belos was framing it, it was inevitable that they would just treat it so unseriously.

Ex: "You'll have your fun, on the Day of Unity" Like? Even though The Collector didn't even understand the concept of death, it was clear that they weren't fond of people just disappearing, like the titans. But Belos was literally treating the death of millions of witches like some fun game of hopscotch. Add that to the list of manipulation points!

Another example? Grimmwalkers.

The Collector was seen to view them as 'things', toys that he saw Belos just get rid of time and time again. And with the way he was framing it as them 'betraying' him, Collector probably just began to believe that and started viewing them like he did.

I think I delved into a completely different point with this scene, but long story short, Belos additionally uses his change of tone and language to further desensitize horrific situations to them. I would say even sugarcoat them in a way.

During King's tide, there's this one scene where King sees The Collector, and Belos is reassuring him. This one is a bit more different than the other scenes. Unlike the previous scenes I've talked about, instead of The Collector just acting playfully and seeming to trust Belos with what he says, they're actively doubting and complaining to him. And what does this come off as to Belos? A cranky child.

And like anyone dealing with a cranky child, he immediately deals with the situation as 'best as he can'.

First, he reassures and shuts down their doubts about being freed, telling them that it was *specifically* AFTER the draining spell that they'd be freed. And when The Collector doubted him once again, he essentially frames it as the child being the one in the 'wrong' here. They just have the be patient to get their reward after all, don't they? It's sorta like how a parent just tells their kid that "Oh, we'll be there soon, just wait!". Except that The Collector instead of waiting, will literally never get freed.

Basically, Belos is quite literally gaslighting them, in the sense that he's making them feel like they're acting out of order for a very reasonable doubt.

Additionally, he's also making them FEEL like an impatient with the way he's speaking and wording himself. Belos is portraying the whole thing as this being unfortunate for the both of them ('WE have to way for after the draining spell . . .'), and tell them to just have 'patience'.

In a fucked up way, this is probably how Belos disciplined them.

And this leads me to my next point. Like some sort of system of rewards and punishment, whenever The Collector was shown to actively say things that Belos didn't like, even if it was just for the moment, he altered the way he behaved and talked around the kid.

During Clouds in The Horizon, you can immediately notice the difference during the scene with these two. Even if there was the chance that Belos was already in a bad mood, and The Collector who was just making crude jokes for half of the time worsened everything, and there's a notable change in his wording and behavior. Belos is much more withdrawn, not even responding to the boys comments at certain times and giving them the silent treatment

Something I noticed even as I write this, was that in a sense this scene and the one from Hollow Mind parellel almost perfectly.

In Hollow Mind, when The Collector was joking about Belos lashing out at Hunter and turning into his monster form, Belos pretty much brushed it off and just took it as a chance to go "well, as long as he doesn't fuck around and find out, he'll be fine". Even when they were literally saying that the grimmwalkers were 'things', a mind that Belos just made them to torture them, the guy literally SMILED as if he was amused.

Meanwhile, Belos had a completely different reaction to practically the same comments, but in a different font.

Now, The Collector was making fun of him for his monster form, saying how he can't even keep it up anymore. In response, Belos just proceeds go punch the wall and just prove their point. As for the grimmwalkers, when they suggested that the man should make another one go play with, he just shut down them said they needed to 'deal' with this one.

There's a very clear difference here: In one scene, The Collector isn't directly mocking Belos, and the man is amused by their honestly horrific joking about such vile situations. In another, they're using those same situation and topics to make fun of Belos.

In short, Belos only seemed to excuse these comments when they weren't directly being negative towards *him*, and almost rewarded The Collector by continuing to speak to them in a friendly manner. Once they did, he almost retracted a 'priviledge'.

Because that's essentially what it was. A privilege that Belos gave them by just treating as 'nicely' as someone like him could get. And like any child too, they were blinded by it.

Again, bringing me into my next point.

When Belos betrayed The Collectoe, it was the exact moment when that privilege and everything else, was permanently revoked. At first you can see how Belos just watches as The Collector, like expected, excitedly talks and gushing about how they'll be able to play. Even after all these years, Belos really is freeing them. And they'll be able to play now!

Except they aren't.

Because immediately after, Belos shut down any hopes that they have of being freed with a simple "I'm afraid that's impossible".

At first, they're confused, hurriedly repeating Philip's promise, because sufely he couldn't have forgotten about it. But the man just brushes it off as an inconvenience, that he just didn't have any more Titan's Blood to free them.

And even as The Collector shouts and screams that Belos was a liar, unlike in the scene where he reassured them about their doubts, he doesn't have to do that anymore. Because there's no use in appealing to them anymore.

The kid was wringed dry of all their use to the man. And just like those grimmwalkers, like those witches, like everyone, Belos would leave them. Because in the end, they were also just a 'thing' for Belos.

And to add more insult to injury, it's not even like Belos just started acting all serious and mad like whenever he was upset with them. Opposite, even, because there was still using that sing-songy, playful tone to his voice speaking to them. In a sense, it was now The Collector's turn to be mocked. And it's not even like they could protest and throw one of their 'tantrum's', because Belos essentially just shut them up.

After dropping their plate down a bridge, just to add to open up that cut even more, Belos simply parted ways with them with a GOODBYE. Not even calling them by their name, giving them one last display of 'affection', or perhaps thanking them for their 'help' to Belos. Just a truly emotionless goodbye.

And, BELOS JUST WALKED AWAY AFTER THAT. Because truly, those decades meant nothing to him. The way he so eloquently phrashed and sang out everything to flatter the kid, going along with their silly games, and reassuring them– that was in the past now.

But here's the thing with that man. HE LITERALLY CANNOT STAY CONSISTENT. Belos cannot fucking commit to, and accept that his actions have consequences, because it was obvious he immediately regretted disregarding the kid once they were freed.

As my final point, let's take a lot at the infamous "splatter" scene.

You can literally see how Belos stepped away out of fear. Because unlike the shadow boy that just lived in his basement, that could only move around his walls at most, The Collector was now freed. And what does that mean? It means that Belos fucked up BIG time. Literally as they turn to look at him, that blank look on their face told that man everything he had to know.

And of course, he immediately retracts on literally every he said before, and begins trying to appeal to the kid by twisting around his intentions.

Belos was probably just hoping they'd be gaslighted enough to just run back into his arms and accept his words, but at that moment they weren't fooled like before. The Collector knew his true intentions, and no amount of sing-songy voices and empty compliments could change that.

This analysis is quite literally getting too long LOL, it was supposed to be super short. I was planning to also analyze the Raine scenes, and compare the scenes included to seperate belos scenes, but I'll end it on a short note.

TLDR; Belos purposely changed his tone of voice, language and overall behavior to appeal to The Collector. Essentially to manipulate, desensitize and gaslight the boy to a lot of horrific things. Even then, it backfired on him in the end.

[total-drama-brainrot]

Millie total drama

My girl. Millie has done nothing wrong ever, your honour she was trying her best and that's all that matters.

Especially in season two; Millie's only folly was being morally blinded by her desire to win, which (quite frankly) so many other characters in the series have followed that same fate without being as punished by the narrative as Millie was.

She showed remorse for her momentary lack of judgement there, and yet all she got for trying to be a decent person and apologise was an early elimination. I was so looking forward to seeing Millie stand on her own two feet as an individual character instead of just "Priya's friend".

And the stereotype she's based on? The whole discount-psychologist schtick she's got going on could be so fun to explore, especially since the cast she's a part of is filled to the brim with unconventional characters that anyone with even a passing interest in psychology/sociology would be itching to dissect. And yet she barely has any interactions with them along these lines; the most we get is her notes on Priya's terrible home life, which is a valid concern for anyone to have.

It just seems like such a waste to establish her character archetype in her audition video and the do near-enough nothing with it. She could've been so much more than Priya's satellite.

But I think the main thing that draws me to Millie is how she is, at her core, a well intentioned and empathetic character- and how these work as character flaws instead of positive traits.

Her strong sense of empathy makes her painfully mindful of how the people around her percieve her, so she's quick to make herself obsequious or otherwise changd herself to meet the expectarions she thinks others hold for her. When, in reality, the only person holding Millie to these expectations is herself.

Her good intentions oftentimes lead Millie to act outside of her juristiction in a misguided effort to help the people around her- i.e. her notes on Priya's home life, leading a blindfolded Damien into The Horrors to help her team win, ect.

It's just nice to see a people pleaser character who faces the realistic consequences of their actions instead of being held up on a pedestal by the story itself like Beth or Zoey. No shade to either of them, since I love both of them too.

[chibun-days]

thoughts on my interpretation of dazai + his past in regards to fanfiction writing

this mainly applies to dazai during 15 and his time in the pm, but could work for ada dazai albeit with minor adjustments

see on the one hand i have the urge to write dazai as incomprehensible unfathomable indecipherable. he'll be darkness incarnate pretending at being human, and he can be something colder and crueler than anyone else in the world. he can be something dead. he'll be a living corpse, closer to death than living.

on the other hand i want him to just be a mess of a human being who's a little too smart and a little too empty and little too hurt. he can be someone who's tried desperately to find meaning in life, failed at every turn, and buries himself in darkness instead until it permeates his very being. he chokes on kindness, if that one episode of bsd wan where atsushi gives him flowers is any indication. he can see himself as irredeemable, regardless of how other people perceive him. he can genuinely believe that he can't possibly have positive human relationships not founded on mutual goals or manipulation, as i write in his perception of chuuya at the start of 15.

the issue with both of my interpretations (i am fonder of the second one) is that we haven't gotten any actual backstory for dazai. we know what he was like at fourteen/fifteen—but by then, he'd already established his worldview and opinion that there is no meaning in living. mori literally finds him when he tries to commit suicide; the pm may have encouraged his cruelty and violence, but that was all already there. what happened before that instilled in dazai's mind that he wanted to die? despite being given a frankly massive amount of coverage in light novels, the manga, and the anime, we still know virtually nothing about dazai's past. it's so difficult to properly analyze and understand dazai's character and actions because we don't know the reasoning behind these things. all individuals are dependent on their past experiences—it would be necessary to understand dazai's past in order to get a better picture of his character as a whole.

my first interpretation assumes that dazai has, from birth—similarly to yozo in no longer human—always been "empty". it assumes that dazai has never felt like a human being, never been able to understand them, and never been able to relate to them. the second interpretation, however, assumes that while dazai may have felt alienated as a child, there is a reason for said alienation and the ensuing suicide attempt and worldview.

the key part, however, brings into question what exactly the reason was: bsd follows (very, very lightly) the ramifications of a post-war setting. you see it in fukuzawa and yosano's backstories, as well as fukuchi's motive in villainy. did dazai somehow participate in the war? was it instead abuse by an organization or by family that impacted dazai's understanding of living? it's impossible to guess the canon backstory of dazai, but i think it'd be reasonable to assume that there is at the very least a concrete reason or event in dazai's past that results in his mannerisms and behavior that we see in canon. i would be hesitant to go into government experiment/inhuman territory, however, because that ruins a very important parallel: the one between chuuya and dazai.

i've mentioned it before—essentially, dazai is human but feels/acts inhuman, while chuuya isn't human (though certain evidence suggests otherwise, but the point stands) but feels/acts wildly human. they're eachother's antithesis; however, they wholeheartedly and without a doubt believe that the other is irreplaceably human. if dazai does turn out be some aspect of the book (as theories suggest), that doesn't quite make sense in regards to the consistency of this parallel, which is very important overall to soukoku's dynamic. i have so many more thoughts about this but i'll stop here for today.

in short i am trying to write a cohesive backstory for dazai that actually makes sense in my fic (i am failing)

[hyp3rfixation-h3ll]

alright chat . it's time for "dissecting the inherent tragedy of transformers: botbots and the relationships in them":

toxic doomed yuri edition ( referring to these two ↑ )

(yes, i made this picmix myself 4 this. i have no regrets. also no tl;dr because you guys NEED to read this)

something i want y'all to understand is that it is Not about the idea that spud wasn't loved. he was VERY much loved by everyone, ESPECIALLY burgertron.

the whole point is that he sabotaged himself in the process of ruining someone else's life, someone who valued him and his word above others. he and burgertron BOTH let their ego get in the way of their personal lives, the only difference is that burgertron at least had the dignity to swallow his pride and apologise when it mattered most.

He gave spud a second chance because he loved him. because he recognised that he does deserve redemption, and above all else, he wants spud to know he cares, even if that means he'll never see him again, or they'll never be friends. (Even in light of the "sidekick" comment, i genuinely don't think he held any inherent malice in that statement. even if burgs was an egotist, he still loved him.)

the worst thing burgertron did in their relationship was be unaware, and im sure that despite his ego, he never meant for spud to get hurt. that's why he went out of his way to protect him, when he couldve just stood there and let spud get put on the back of a truck to never be seen again. it would have been easy.

but he didn't. he did the hard thing. the Right thing. he stood up for someone who never did the same for him.

Spud Was Loved. Spud Is loved. and sometimes love isn't going to look pretty, or manifest in holding hands and cuddling, and it isn't all rainbows and sunshine. it can hurt. it can be letting go of someone who you hurt by accident, who you never meant to harm, but it happened anyways because you made the fatal mistake of being oblivious.

And that's what Burgertron did. he let Spud go, because he understood they both needed time to heal on their own terms. regardless of if he's mad at him or not, he does still harbor positive feelings for him, and he stood up for him during times he probably shouldn't have. If he ACTUALLY hated spud, he wouldn't have stuck his neck out for him at bot prom. or believe spud when he was lying through his teeth in the games.

And that's what makes them so tragic. perhaps in another world, another life, they'd have been Actual good friends, who truly stuck by each other. maybe things would have been different.

But we'll never know that now, will we?