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savventeen · 1 year

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you say the stupidest (sweetest) things

pairing: seungkwan x gn!reader rating: 16+ (for swearing) wc: 4.5k prompt: seungkwan + "things you said at 1am" summary: you say stupid shit on the best of days, so when seungkwan comes over when you're having a bad bout of insomnia, the last thing he expects to hear from you is an accidental love confession warnings: insomnia, mental health issues, dissociation mention tags: fluff, friends to lovers, first kiss, reader is a little unhinged but who isn't tbh, they're also highkey allergic to genuine expressions of love/affection but they're working on it, banter, stimming, wrestling like children to try and work through emotions, reader is some flavor of lgbt+ (they make an "i've never done anything straight in my life" joke), reader's pov is dramatic bc they're dramatic oops a/n: this is for @dokyeomin as a part of my emergency commissions (check out the post here) and this was only supposed to be 1k but it 100% got away from me... i hope you still enjoy the fluff and all of the attached nonsense <3

From: Y/n 🔪 [11:47pm]

yo kwannie if i impulsively decide to go to the 24h convenience store how harshly do u think they'll jusdge me for buying every flavor of gummy candy available *judge i wanna see if i can melt them down into one Ultimate Gummy u know for Science

Seungkwan pauses brushing his teeth and stares down at your messages.

To be fair, it's probably not the strangest thing you've ever texted him. He's known you since your second year of college, after all, so he has about half a decade of experience with all of your various y/n-isms under his belt now.

Which is how he knows to trust his gut when it tells him that this probably isn't your usual brand of nonsense.

He spits the toothpaste into the sink and dials your number. You answer on the second ring.

“Before you say anything,” you start, “I was only half-serious about the gummies thing. Like, it's a fun idea, you know? In theory. But in actuality? I do not want to deal with the mess that it would create. Or the smells. Well, the smells might actually be pretty good depending on—“

“Uh-huh,” he interrupts dryly. “Y/n, when's the last time you slept?”

The beat of silence that follows is enough to confirm his suspicions, and the hesitant “Um” that follows is just the icing on the cake, really.

He sighs. “The fact that you have to think about it says enough.”

“I don’t need to think about it,” you argue petulantly. “I just… don’t wanna tell you.”

“Y/n...” he groans, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Look, I know, I'm sorry.” And you do sound a little bit sorry, at least. “I'm just. Having an episode. Don't worry about it.”

His shoulders droop as the words sink in. “Episodes” are what you've taken to calling your intermittent bouts of serious insomnia.

Generally speaking, you sleep about as well as the average twenty-something with a caffeine addiction. But every few months or so, it's like your brain completely forgets how to shut off and you end up staying awake for 40+ hours straight.

“Well,” he says, putting his toothbrush away and going back to his bedroom. “You know that ship has sailed, right? You know I'm gonna worry about it.”

Your deep sigh crackles over the line. “Yeah, I know.”

“So. Where're we at this time?”

He mentally braces himself. The two of you have done this enough times now that he knows that you know there's no point in trying to lie or beat around the bush.

“Uhhhhhhh, I'll be hitting the 46-hour mark in about 20 minutes.”

“Aish.”

The fact that you can say that so casually makes his heart hurt. He knows that whenever he doesn't get enough sleep, he makes sure everyone knows it and thus babies him accordingly. But you've always been so intent on hiding anything and everything you struggle with. It's taken years for him to bully himself past the walls you keep hidden behind shit-eating grins and an over-willingness to help.

“Okay,” he says, moving to the dresser to grab an extra set of clothes. “I'll be over in an hour.”

“Wait. What?”

“You heard me.” He tosses the clothes onto his bed before going to grab one of his duffle bags, firmly asserting, “You've got an hour to mentally prepare yourself for my arrival.”

“Honey, you've got a big storm comin',” you quote at him without hesitating.

“You sure do,” he assures with a snort. “Better get ready to feel the wrath of my friendship.”

“Why do you have to love so aggressively?”

He rolls his eyes while he throws his clothes into the duffle bag with one hand. “Because it's the only way you'll accept it, idiot.”

“No, it isn't.”

Your pout is so audible through the phone that Seungkwan has to stop and glance at the screen in disbelief.

“Y/n. Y/n L/n. Do not stand there and lie to my face like that.”

“I'm not lying!”

“Not—” He gesticulates wildly with one hand like he's going Can you believe this shit? to an invisible TV audience. “Okay, tell me this: what did you do the last time I sincerely monologued at you about how much you mean to me as a friend, hmm? No bits, no bullshit, just me telling you how much I love you and how amazing you are.”

A beat. “I'll hang up on you, Kwannie, don't test me.”

He barely resists the urge to shove his face into the bedspread and scream. “You're literally proving my point right now!”

“Kwannieeee,” you whine, because you know he's right.

“Also, because I'm never letting you live it down, I will remind you exactly what you did."

You say his name again, but it's muffled, and he assumes it's because you're hiding your face in shame.

“I gave you a sincere, heartfelt speech about how much your friendship has changed my life for the better and made me become a better person—” he ignores your wordless pterodactyl screech, “—and how do you respond? By staring at me like a deer caught in the headlights, slowly raising your arms to give me double finger guns, winking, and then slowly backing out of the room like an awkward mannequin!”

“...”

“Well?” He puts his free hand on his hip. “Do you have anything to say for yourself?”

“… I’ve changed a lot since then.”

Seungkwan rolls his eyes before moving to continue packing his overnight bag. “It was literally three months ago.”

“Yeah, and? Doesn't change the fact that I've changed,” you assert.

“Into even more of a nuisance? Yes, you're absolutely right.” He smiles when he hears you scoff playfully.

“Listen here, Boo Seungkwan. You know that well-rested Y/n is ready to throw down with you at a moment's notice. What do you think sleep-deprived, zero-impulse-control Y/n is going to do the second you get to their front door?”

“Stop referring to themself in the third person, hopefully,” he mutters, finally zipping up his bag and heading to the door. “And then after that, they're going to let me bully them into resting.”

“Hmm. The council has heard your proposal, briefly pondered it, and deemed it “unnecessary” on the basis of: they're a bad bitch that can't be stopped by neither time nor physics nor any god of your choosing.”

Seungkwan scoffs as he puts the call on speaker and sits to put on his sneakers. “Well, “the council” can go fuck right off.”

“What if the council would like to fuck right on?”

Pausing in the middle of tying his laces, he blinks down at his phone. “I'm— what?”

“Okay, real talk, what do you think it would mean in this case? Like, would this be like a 'hop on' versus 'hop off' situation? Or more like an 'I'm down for this' versus 'I'm up for this' kinda situation? Because it would have very different outcomes depending.”

Seungkwan decides that this is a debate better left for another time. “I think it means that I'm going to be at your house soon and that if you're not in your pajamas with hot Sleepy Time tea and the series Planet Earth ready to go, there will be consequences.”

“Booooooo, you whore.”

He finishes tying his laces and jabs his finger at the phone. “Consequences, Y/n.”

“Ugh, fine.”

“See you soon, love you, bye.” He hangs up before you can get another word in, but doesn't move from his seated position in the entryway.

Slowly, he takes a deep breath in and lets it out, taking a moment to lean back on his hands while he stares at the back of his front door. Specifically, at the large collage of sticky notes and pictures and doodles that have taken up residence there.

A few of the notes are ones he's gotten from other members of your shared friend group over the years (the one from Chan that reads "if u eat my rice i'll eat ur kneecaps xoxo" hangs proudly in the center, right next to a picture of him sleeping that Seungkwan managed to capture from an extremely unflattering angle). But most of them are from you.

Dumb puns, meme references, bullshit animal facts you made up just to get him to laugh… almost all of them are stupid in that extremely charming way that only you somehow manage to pull off.

But the one he's staring at now is almost completely hidden by other notes and pictures that have been added to the collage. It's a pale blue, the ink starting to fade a bit with time — the first note you ever gave him, back when you two were just people who happened to sit next to each other in an astronomy class.

Even though most of it is hidden, he doesn't need to be able to see all the tiny words you crammed into the small space to already know exactly what it says.

how do u make a space party? u planet :P u looked sad today, hope this makes u feel a little better also if this is 2 forward feel free 2 pretend i don't exist. or punt me in2 the sun idk u'd be doing me a favor tbh

He'd almost skipped class that day because of how bad he'd been feeling, but he'd decided to try and push through. And before that day, neither of you had interacted with more than a polite greeting and the occasional question about the homework.

But then you'd passed him that note, and he'd passed one back that said “that's dumb. but thank you” with a smiley face, and you'd passed another one back that said “do u think lizard people have ever been to space?” and the rest, they say, is history.

Seungkwan shakes his head with a sigh before standing up and grabbing his bag and his keys, striding determinedly out the door. He's got a best friend to take care of.

Seungkwan should be at your place soon, and you're not quite sure what to do in the meantime.

You have your laptop hooked up to the monitor in the living room with Planet Earth queued up, you have the kettle filled with water and ready to go on the stove, and you have mugs and teabags ready on the counter next to it.

The Required Tasks™️ have been completed as much as possible without the arrival of your best friend, and now all that's left to do is wait.

Which, normally, you're not the worst at. You're excellent at entertaining yourself, actually, mostly because there's always something to think about. Whether it be about cute dogs that you've seen over the past week (I wonder if the pomeranian down the street will let me pet him next time), potential plot twists for the new fantasy drama you're a little bit obsessed with (what if Gregothy was cursed the whole time???), or generic ponderings of the human existence as a whole (do souls have the metaphysical equivalent of a fingerprint?), you're pretty much always thinking about something.

Which is totally fine and dandy and cool or whatever when you have the ability to, you know, shut it off. For example, when you need to do something simple and necessary like, oh I don't know, go the fuck to sleep.

You also hate when that manic mental energy somehow translates into kinetic energy as well. It makes you feel like a hamster in a cage, watching yourself running and running and running on that stupid wheel until you exhaust yourself.

Tonight's metaphorical wheel: stimming like wild in the kitchen. Flapping, rocking, (gently) slapping, making weird and fun mouth sounds, the whole shebang.

And again, normally stimming is fun. Stimming is great. But stimming because you feel like if you don't stop moving you're going to literally vibrate out of your skin is, to put it lightly, Not It.

It takes you about ten minutes to work out all of the energy until you no longer feel like your blood was replaced with pop rocks.

With a groan, you lower yourself to the kitchen floor and lay down face first. Because despite how exhausted you feel in every possible way, there's still something like an itch in your conscious, a fucking pea underneath the miles of mattresses that refuse to let you just. Fucking. Sleep.

Your pity party must've lasted longer than you realized (or, more likely, you dissociated for a hot second there) because suddenly someone's knocking at your door at the same time you get a text from Seungkwan.

And you know it's a text from Seungkwan specifically because you got Vernon to help you change your notification settings so that whenever Seungkwan texts you, the "i love you.. bitch" sound clip plays instead of a normal text tone.

For a fraction of a second, you contemplate slowly inching your way to the door like an uncoordinated caterpillar, but you swat the thought aside like you’re swatting a gnat and you awkwardly roll to your feet and make your way to your front door.

Without hesitating, you unlock the door, swinging it open with a flourish and sticking a finger right in Seungkwan's face before he can utter a single syllable, forcing him to cross his eyes.

You open your mouth wide like you're going to say something, pause for a moment, then tap your pointed finger to his nose with a quiet "boop."

He blinks, expression turning deadpan, and sighs. "I should have expected this, honestly."

“Yep!”

You let him into your apartment, and he makes himself right at home, mildly bitching at you as he goes to get the tea ready, and something within you shifts.

The inside of your head is still a bit of a dumpster fire, unfortunately, but inside your chest... something clicks into place that you're not sure that you're ready to name. Whatever it is, though, it's soft and warm and kinda feels like your heart is being hugged.

Smiling to yourself, you follow him into the kitchen.

💤 💤 💤 💤 💤

It was pretty much straight to “business” after that, and it only takes Seungkwan one cup of tea and two episodes listening to David Attenborough's dulcet narrations for him to knock right out, leaning heavily against your shoulder on the couch.

Which means it's now the perfect time to sit there and Admire Your Bro™️.

It's rare to see him so still, you think. He's an active guy, in pretty much every sense of the word, and you always feel a little honored when you get to be witness to his quiet, vulnerable moments like this one.

He looks so serene, face smoothed out and painted in soft twirling shades of blue from the screen of the monitor, though you can't see too much of it from this angle. Mostly you just see his cheeks and stupidly adorable button nose.

And you've seen the same thing a million times before — in all kinds of states and expressions — and despite how much you've tried to ignore it, each and every time you've caught yourself noticing just how cute Seungkwan is, it's caused that thing in your heart to scrunch up, full of the L-word feeling that you've kept unnamed for what feels like forever now.

Except, maybe that thing in your heart is tired of scrunching up. Maybe it's decided that it's tired of forever.

Maybe that thing has finally decided to burrow itself out of the walls you've built up because you find yourself finally allowing yourself to think, Holy shit, I think I'm in love with you.

You don't realize that Seungkwan has completely stilled against you, but you certainly notice when he suddenly throws himself forward so he can turn around and stare at you incredulously. Only he overshoots a little bit and ends up falling off the couch with a squawk and a dramatic flail.

"Oh my god, Kwannie are you okay?!"

He stares at you from where he fell, wide-eyed like you've grown a second head or like the time you'd tried to convince him that birds weren't real and actually just a government conspiracy.

"Am— am I okay? No??"

Now it's your turn to move off of the couch, coming down to his level to see if maybe he hurt himself when he fell. "Fuck, okay, did you hit something? Do you need an icepack?"

Seungkwan being Not Okay is maybe one of the worst things that could ever happen in the entire universe and you're trying not to panic as you reach out to check for injuries.

"No, no, stop—" he bats away at your hands and you stop in your motions, now kneeling in front of him. "I'm not hurt!"

Your brain does the cartoonish screech thing as it comes to a halt, and you furrow your brows. "But.. you just said you're not okay?"

"I'm not!" His eyes are still wide in shock, but he also looks confused and maybe a little bit like he's about to cry?

Oh no. If he cries and it's somehow your fault (because it has to somehow be your fault) you think the world might actually end.

"Okay, uh. I am— confused,” you start, sure you must look as lost as you feel. “But, um, what can I do to help?"

He swallows, and a part of you realizes that he's looking at you with an expression you've never seen before. "Did you mean it?"

Knowing that it's significant but not yet knowing why, you maintain eye contact. "Mean what?"

"What you just said."

You blink. "...that I'm confused?"

He shakes his head. "No, before that."

You have a hard time remembering what you just said when you're not sleep-deprived and worried you've just somehow accidentally caused irreparable emotional damage to your best friend. "Uh... when I asked if you were okay?"

"No, fuck," and it's a shock for some reason, hearing him cuss right now. You hear him say much worse things all the time, but you think it might be the way he said it — with a kind of desperate vulnerability that you're not sure you've ever heard from him before.

That thing in your chest twinges and you think maybe you're the one who's gonna start crying.

He says your name like a plea, and then he's on his knees right in front of where you're kneeling on the floor, reaching forward to cup your face in his palms. "You said— Y/n, you said "holy shit I think I'm in love with you.””

Oh.

You're pretty sure your heart falls right out of your ass and bounces across the rug, judging from the way it comes to a dead stop. You blink at him. Full of new and sinking kind of dread, you whisper, "...I said that out loud?"

He laughs, but it's tinged with incredulity and sounds a little too close to a sob for comfort. "Yes! You did!"

And wait, no, your heart is still stuck in your chest, because you can feel it start pounding against your ribcage in double, triple, quadruple time. He must see the fear in your expression, because suddenly his eyes are narrowed in a determined scowl and he growls, "Oh no you don't."

Then you find yourself going down with a yelp as Seungkwan octopuses himself around you, trapping you within the confines of his surprisingly strong arms and legs as he basically tackles you to the floor.

You try and wiggle away even as you know it's useless, and he grits, "Y/n dammit, answer my question."

"Why were you even awake?” You deflect, getting an arm free and trying to give him a wedgie. “You were supposed to be asleep!"

"I was supposed to be asleep?!” He screeches, easily evading your reach and poking your ribs to get you to reflexively pull back your arm. “You're the one who hasn't slept in literal days! And stop avoiding my question!"

"No!" He has you trapped once again, and you resort to licking his arm.

"Oh my god!"

He muffles his scream into your shoulder, long and frustrated, and then he just... goes limp. He loosens his hold and just lets his full body weight kinda crush the parts of you he's ended up lying on and just... lays there.

This is your chance, you know — to wiggle free and escape and run away from your feelings just like you always have.

But, for some reason, you don't — that scrunched-up thing in your chest holds you back. You stay there, lying beneath Seungkwan on the floor of your living room at one-something in the morning, and the two of you just breathe.

"It's okay, you know," he murmurs after a moment, so quiet you barely hear him over David Attenborough still narrating softly in the background. "If you didn't mean it. It's okay."

Holy shit, I think I'm in love with you.

And you realize how easy it would be to play it off, to blame it on the sleep deprivation, the way you blurted it out like that — to say (to lie) you meant it completely platonically, like the way you propose to Mingyu at least once a month when he cooks you all dinner.

And you also realize, quite shockingly, that despite how a part of you still desperately wants to run away, the larger part of you wants to stay. Doesn't want to run. Doesn't want to lie anymore.

You swallow heavily, briefly close your eyes, and take in a deep breath. "And if I did? Mean it?"

This time, you do notice when Seungkwan goes still. Slowly, he lifts his head so he can look you in the eyes.

When he doesn't say anything, just continues to look at you with an unreadable expression, you try to continue.

"Would you— would that— would it be okay? If I meant it? When I— when I said that I'm in love with you? Is— because um, like you said, it's okay if it's not, and uh—"

Your nervous rambling comes to a stop when he once again cups your face, but it's gentler than before, closer to a caress. The whole time you'd been talking he'd been slowly sitting up, and now he's on his knees next to where you're still lying down on the floor, looking down at you like all the hope in the world is somewhere to be found in your expression.

"Y/n." he says your name like it's something precious, and you feel the absurd urge to burst into tears. "It would be very okay." His thumbs make gentle arcs across your cheeks. "And just to be clear: you mean it in a non-platonic sense, right?” He chews on his lip. “Hopefully, in a very much romantic sense?"

Staring at him staring at you, eyes bright with hope and a little bit of wonder... you can only imagine you must be looking at him the same way. Your chest feels like it's full of helium but also like something warm and gooey is sloshing around in there. And all that hope and wonder and holy shit is this actually happening? is causing your tongue to stick to the roof of your mouth, and all you're able to get past your lips is a breathless, "Hopefully?"

"Oh my god," he groans in frustration, but it's light and airy and makes you think of amusement park rides and fairy lights and how you want to annoy the shit out of this man for the rest of his life, if he'll let you. He's shaking his head, smiling, beaming, and he asks, "Why can you never give me any kind of a straight answer, huh?"

"Because it's my life's purpose to be the bane of your existence until the day we die," you say, reaching up to hold his face too. "Also because I've never done anything straight ever in my life."

And then your body is moving before your brain can think it though, dragging him down until you can press your lips to his and finally, finally know what it's like to kiss Boo Seungkwan.

He makes a little noise of surprise, one that you can feel buzz against your lips before he melts into you. And oh, any thoughts you might have had are forcefully ejected from your brain because all you can focus on are his lips pressed to yours, the way they move slowly, gently, turning this chaste kiss into the most scorching experience of your life. His nose bumps against yours and the heat of his warm breath sends tingles throughout your body, and his hands, fuck, his hands are still holding you gently but also with a firmness that feels like he doesn't want to let you go.

And then he's pulling away, and you whine at him because this may be the cruelest thing he's ever done to you ever in your entire life. "Noooooo, why'd you stop?"

"Because, as much as I'd love to continue to make out with you on your floor while an old British man narrates about life on the Serengeti—” he mercifully ignores the way you choke on your spit at the way he talks about making out with you so nonchalantly "—it's past someone's bedtime."

Your mouth drops open in offended shock. Was he actually going to put you to bed like a child? Like you both hadn't just declared your romantic love for each other? "Are you fucking serious?"

He just stands up and crosses his arms, looking down at you with a single raised eyebrow. You take the part of you that finds it annoyingly attractive and promptly smother it, crossing your own arms from your position on the floor.

"I'm not a baby," you definitely don't pout.

"Hmmm...” And then the bastard fucking pouts at you. “But you're my baby."

You blink at him.

"Welp, that was nice while it lasted,” you grunt, rolling to your feet, “but I suddenly need to relocate to Antarctica and become a penguin herder.”

He pulls you into his arms with a laugh, and you let him, burying your face in the crook of his shoulder.

“You know,” he starts after he's held you for a few moments. “This isn't how I ever imagined how us confessing to each other would go.”

You snort.

“But also,” he continues, “it feels very 'us' doesn't it?”

"Yeah,” you murmur, not bothering to lift your head from his shoulder.

“Mmm, is someone finally sleepy?” he teases, starting to waddle you both towards your bedroom. “Did all the emotions finally wear you out?”

Instead of nodding, you lightly kick him in the shin and the sappy part of your brain that is currently in charge of everything thinks that his indignant squawk is one of your most favorite sounds.

The sappy part of your brain is right, of course, and when you wake up in your bed 15 hours later and accidentally smack him in the face, the urge to run is a little bit smaller than it was before. And the way he flushes bright red after you sleepily kiss him on the cheek is an image you're going to cherish until the day you die.

#svtsource #seungkwan fluff #seungkwan fic #seungkwan x y/n #seungkwan x you #seungkwan x reader #svt fluff #seventeen fluff #savv writes #savv fics #in my queue world

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another-goblin · 6 months

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2.1 Spoilers, Aventurine analysis

I regret to say that I enjoyed Aventurine's story much less than I should have. And not because it was bad, but because it was spoiled for me by people who don't tag their leaks, mostly fanartists. People call it one of the best stories in the game so far, and I usually love emotional stuff like that, but instead I was just going through the motions.

Yeah, child Aventurine, Aventurine in shakles, whatever, I've been forcefed all this stuff a month ago, I already saw dozens of arts of it against my will, let's move on. To all these artists - I hope not adding one little "hsr leaks" to your tags was worth it.

(speaking of which - my current goal is to unhate that new cowboy guy before he actively enters the story. Currently, I can't stand the sight of him, and for exactly the same reason, untagged leaks. He seems like a potentially great character, and he's already quite popular. And hating a popular character isn't fun at all)

But not to be too negative, even though I weren't allowed to enjoy 2.1 story as much as it deserves, I still liked it quite a lot, and it's a testament to how well written Aventurine is.

One of the worst things you can do to a character is to make them emotionally static. Aventurine doesn't suffer from this at all, it's shown very well in the different ways he talks to people, and that's what I wanted to talk about.

The first way is what I call "slimey creep." It's the way he mostly talks in 2.0 to TB and most other characters, and he's quite antogonistic and unlikeable, probably because it's his goal to seem antogonistic and unlikeable.

Second is the fear and desperation that's always under the surface, carefully hidden, what his future self talks about - we can see it when Sunday does his harmony thing on him.

And third, my favorite, is what I call "disarming sincerity." Not that he's neseccerily insincere in his other modes, but this is his dippest self, hidden under all the layers of pain, fear, and cynicism. He shows it when he talks to his younger self (btw I don't usually go there, but it made me think that he'd be great with children.)

We also see him using it for self-defense - when Ratio goes too far in 2.0, he retorts with this seemingly naive "I didn't go to school and my parents "left" me", and Ratio immediately apologizes.

But most interestingly, he uses it with Ratio, most of the time they spend together in 2.1 up until the "betrayal.".

It might be a deliberate ploy to manipulate him, trying to seem more likeable, to assure his loyalty (Ratio's reaction to "I didn't go to school" showed that he's quite susceptible to it).

It might come from his realization that the end is near, and why not just be yourself and have some fun for a change.

Or, of course, it might be because he actually enjoys Ratio's company and feels safe enough to show this hidden vulnerable side of himself.

The truth is probably somewhere in between.

They both joke and bicker (with Ratio remembering from time to time that he's supposed to show his "hatred" of Aventurine), and they both seem to really enjoy it. They argue about birds, Aven gets excited about the sandpit, and so on.

Let's take the joke Sparkle made about Aventurine and Sunday (about undressing and kneeling down) - it's mean and maybe even cruel, considering certain things from Aventurine's past that weren't directly implied but can be assumed, probably. And let's compare it with the joke he himself makes about him and Sunday ("now that I'm tiny I can hide on Sunday's clothes and spy on the Family, hehe, uwu"). It's a joke you'd expect from a child. Or from an adult who feels comfortable enough in your presence that they aren't afraid to seem childish or silly.

So yeah I'd really like to see them interact in a less stressful situation after these events. tbh I think they'd talk in more or less the same way. Aventurine already feels as safe and open around Ratio as he can allow himself to. And Ratio is too rigid in the way he speaks, he won't change that easily.

In defiance of a tired stereotype of an eccentric genius who is bad with people, Ratio seems quite good at understanding them. What he's bad at is expressing his feelings in a "convencional" way.

(he only sounds sincere and emotional when he talks about abstract matters he's passionate about, like his little speech to Screwllum at the end of his quest. He probably sounds like that when he talks about science too.)

But when it comes to his feelings towards people he becomes even more formal and strict (remember his messages from the valentine's day event on twitter)

I can imagine his thought process after he leaves Aventurine in 2.1.

"I verbally expressed my concern to him, which should reassure him of my loyalty and support. Furthermore, I provided him with an insightful and reassuring message in written form. So he should be fine."

btw speaking of that note, when I read it, I can imagine Ratio saying "Do stay alive" aloud. But I can't imagine how he'd say the next line, wishing him luck. I mean, he can't say it in his usual "I'm tired of idiots" way of speaking, right? Something to look forward to.

#honkai star rail #my stuff #aventurine #dr ratio #hsr that new cowboy guy #hsr 2.1 spoilers #hsr 2.1 #hsr spoilers

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multi-lefaiye · 2 months

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HANNAH & ABDIEL BACKSTORY DUMP POST

i've wanted to write this for a while tbh- anyway! backstory on eden's parents, hannah and abdiel linnaeus.

tagging the eden linnaeus fanclub and other people i think would be interested: @skitzo-kero @anexor @chaieyestea @invaderskoodge @vacantgodling

@void-botanist @drawnecromancy @moonflowerrss @paradoxspir1t @albatris

@corvus-rose @astral-runic

content warnings: discussions of child abuse, child neglect/abandonment, parental death, terminal illness, misogyny, and ableism. (probably not as much on that last one, but i think the vibes are there.)

also i'll be using she/her in reference to eden in this post because this is wayyy before he had any gender realizations. just remember eden is A Man.

i don't have recent art of hannah, so i'll just use screencaps of when i made her and abdiel in bg3 as a reference. hannah on the left, abdiel on the right.

FOR BACKGROUND: abdiel is the only son of a drow scholar named noa of house linnaeus, following an intimate encounter with an incubus in her early 20s. noa never wanted a child, much less a son, but she was far too prideful and stubborn to give him up or abort the unborn fetus. so, she had a son, and she loathed him. from a very young age, noa made it clear to abdiel that she never wanted him, and that it was his responsibility to fix the mistake he'd made by being born.

she pumped that kid FULL of self worth issues right away.

hannah, by contrast, was raised by two loving tiefling parents--her father jeriah, and her mother ansel. their life together wasn't perfect, sure, but it was happy. both of her parents were spellcasters, and they were both renowned on some level for their craft. and so, from a rather young age, there was an unspoken expectation that hannah would follow suit.

HOW THEY MET: hannah and abdiel met at fantasy-wizard-college, when hannah was 20 and abdiel was 35. hannah was in the middle of her undergrad studies as a cleric, and abdiel was in the middle of his doctoral program as a wizard. abdiel didn't actually start college until his late 20s because noa would not allow him to, pressuring him to stay and take care of her as she got older. he hated his mother, but he was also terrified of losing her, as he felt no one else would have him. eventually, though, he left her behind, desperate to escape his abuser and start his life elsewhere. and that included attending college to study magic.

college was... rough for abdiel. he was significantly older than his peers and felt both uncomfortable and deeply alienated around them, especially many of the women on campus who reminded him of his mother. that combined with his total lack of self worth made it hard for him to talk to people, hard to make any *friends.* so, he was alone, and he was fine... until, one day, he hit a breaking point and broke down in a hidden corner of the main meal hall, bawling into his hands.

then, hannah found him. she was genuinely worried and approached him, asking if she could sit next to him. he tensed and asked her what she'd do if he said no, and she said that if he said no she'd leave. but, well, he seemed like he might need a friend, so she wanted to ask. he was quiet for a while after that, still shaking.

eventually, he timidly told her she could sit with him, so she did so, and she kept him company until he fully calmed down. afterwards, she started talking to him, and slowly he began opening up to her, feeling more reassured by the minute by how sweet and genuine she was, without pressuring him to do the same.

soon, he started really engaging with her, too, and by the end he was actually smiling. and hannah took that as a victory above all else--being able to see this sad, anxious man smile. (she told him that he has a nice smile, and he laughed, visibly flustered by the compliment.)

after that day, hannah started seeking him out and talking to him more, and he always seemed to visibly relax around her. basically, hannah appointed herself as abdiel's best friend, and he accepted wholeheartedly. she quickly became one of the only people he felt truly safe around, and he latched onto her as a result. she encouraged him to open up more and talk to other people, too, and as he did, he finally began to truly *flourish.*

with hannah's support, abdiel began slowly making more friends and developing more of a reputation with his classmates as an outgoing, intelligent, charismatic guy. finally, he felt like he belonged at university, like people wanted him around. hannah was his favorite, ofc, but he relished the attention.

and he returned the favor tenfold, supporting hannah in every way he could and bragging about her to anyone who would listen. he was a wife guy well before they even started dating. though she was already very confident, sweet, and intelligent, one thing she really struggled with was taking care of *herself* rather than other people, hence why she approached a terrified abdiel to comfort him in the first place.

abdiel encouraged hannah to consider herself more, praising her for her altruism while also telling her to value herself. he was terrified that the world would take advantage of her brilliant, beautiful, benevolent soul, and he wanted to protect her and protect that selflessness. besides his classwork and research, abdiel spent much of his free time with her, soaking up her attention and, in his mind, protecting her from people who wouldn't appreciate her.

abdiel eventually realized he was attracted to hannah in a way he'd never been with anyone before. and he *panicked*. he believed that he should be grateful for what he had with hannah, should be lucky to count her as his friend, and he shouldn't dare wish for anything else. so he kept his mouth shut for nearly a year after he realized it.

then, when hannah was 22 and abdiel was 37, hannah's father jeriah died. and she just... *broke* down.

abdiel held her throughout the night she got the news, his heart breaking with every heaving sob she let out into his chest. sure, he'd seen plenty of people cry, but none hurt as much as hannah did. he'd never seen her so devastated, and he vowed to himself that he'd do everything in his power to make sure she never cried like that again.

(later, hannah explained to abdiel that her dad had been sick for a long time--her family has a history of illness going back generations, and he'd been dealing with it for some time. however, she'd hoped against hope that the latest treatments he'd been receiving would work... this is what directly inspired abdiel to go into medicine, changing course to work towards, maybe, a cure for the illness in hannah's family. all of abdiel's contributions to medical science trace back to her.)

a few weeks after her dad's death, hannah actually made the first move and kissed abdiel. immediately, she panicked and pulled away, babbling apologies and telling him that it's okay if he doesn't like her that way, and she doesn't want to make things *weird*, but she really really likes him and he's her best friend in the world, and- (abdiel gently cut her off by cupping her cheek and leaning in to press their lips together again, once he remembered how to move again after his brain short-circuited a little.)

they started dating a day later, after sitting down and talking through their feelings. abdiel already knew he loved hannah, and he was so relieved to finally be able to express it. as far as he was concerned, she was the center of his universe, and he damn near worshipped that woman. hannah, meanwhile, was a bit more hesitant to call it love at first, but she definitely adored him.

(fun little side-note, but hannah's mother ansel definitely did not approve of abdiel at all. she thought hannah could do better, and she was wary of hannah dating an older man. at least, until one day when abdiel sat down with her and earnestly told her how much he loves her daughter. he'd never do anything to hurt hannah, *ever*, and he needed her to know that. ansel didn't have to believe him, but he wanted her to know he meant it, and ge'd prove it. finally, she relented.)

they dated for a couple years, and shortly after they both graduated they moved to a small fishing village named encerough, near where hannah grew up. by this point, abdiel was making a lot of headway in his research into healing magic as a wizard, and he was developing quite a reputation in his field... however, as much as he was enjoying his developing renown, he didn't have much interest in living in a bustling city with his colleagues.

he liked the idea of a quiet life with hannah in the country. especially once hannah got pregnant, at which point they decided to get married. (abdiel definitely prepared a whole elaborate proposal and pulled out , but hannah beat him to it and proposed after she told him she was pregnant. he immediately pulled her into his arms and kissed her so fast she nearly fell over <3 these two were so immensely Smitten™️)

then, when hannah was 24 and abdiel was 39, she had their first child: a tiny purple tiefling named eden. abdiel held her hand the whole time as she was giving birth, encouraging her and refusing to leave her side. and, afterwards, while she was recovering, he sat with her and smiled, just... watching her with so much love and adoration. he had a family, all his own, and he loved them more than anything.

but, of course... that's where the troubles started. abdiel loved hannah, and he loved eden by extension, but he struggled to connect with his baby the same way he connected with his wife. he looked at eden and felt nothing, and he had no desire to interact with or care for the baby. more than that, having a *daughter* was terrifying to abdiel. he knew logically that a baby couldn't hurt him, but hannah *was* still the only woman he ever felt safe around.

hannah was understanding and reassured him that his daughter knew he loved her, and he was relieved. as long as hannah didn't think less of him, that was all that mattered to him. and so, abdiel made little to no effort to care for or show eden any attention, noticably shrinking away from her and passing her off to her mother.

making things worse, around this time, hannah started developing symptoms of an illness very similar to her father's. nothing too bad at first, but she began to have less energy, her joints began to ache, and she began to struggle to get out of bed. abdiel noticed right away and was *terrified*, throwing himself further into his research to find a cure for hannah before her illness could progress. not that he really discussed this with her--he didn't want to worry her or make her think she was going to die. because she wasn't. he wouldn't let that happen.

of course, the time came where they had to talk about it regardless, and hannah was... resigned. she'd always figured this might happen, but not this soon. but she told abdiel that it's okay. she's not dead yet, and she has plenty of time left with him and their baby girl. she appreciated him trying to help, but she was just happy to spend her life, however much she had left, with the most amazing man in the world, and the beautiful child he'd given her. (abdiel silently promised that he'd make sure she had a happy life. and she wasn't going to die. *she wasnt.*)

fast forward a bit, and hannah and abdiel had their second child: a son named michael. abdiel once again struggled to connect with their baby, but this time he tried. he earnestly tried to be there for both of their kids, even if he mainly cared about them as extensions of his love for hannah. (it was easier with michael, though--perhaps having a son was easier to process.)

still, hannah was proud of him for trying either way, and she told him as such. in between his research into her disease and finding a cure, he spent as much time with his family as he could, especially hannah (though he at least would acknowledge his kids). but... hannah was still getting worse, and abdiel was *terrified.*

they began having more and more talks about what might happen, which grew more and more tense, more and more serious, as they both realized hannah wasn't getting better, and abdiel wasn't any closer to a cure. he wasn't going to stop trying, though. *goddammit*, he wasn't going to stop.

then, around eden's sixth birthday, hannah collapsed and had a violent coughing fit, struggling to breathe as she seized on the floor and eden watched helplessly, terrified for her mother. (abdiel paid the child no mind--he just ran to hannah's side to help her.)

she was ultimately okay, having just strained herself a bit too much while cooking, but abdiel fucking *panicked.* he realized that he wouldn't be able to find a cure to save her in time if he stayed in encerough--he'd have to travel to one of the cities, where he'd have many more resources at his disposal.

it took a week or so for him to get preparations in order, during which time he didn't tell hannah anything, up until the night before he left. when he did, it was presented in a way that boded no arguments: abdiel would be leaving to find a cure, and she would stay *here* and take care of herself (and the kids). he'd be back soon, and she would be okay. abdiel was taking control of a situation where he felt helpless, making decisions for both of them without thinking about what she wanted.

hannah didn't react well. she was upset that he hadn't told her his plans, and she ended up just. telling him point blank that he wasn't going to be able to *cure her.* this was it! she always knew she would die young, and she'd rather her husband *stay* with her and enjoy the time she has left rather than leaving her alone with the vague promise of returning someday to fix her when she *didn't want to be fixed.*

abdiel didn't react well either, and this just... spiraled into a huge argument, which ended with them both in tears (but moreso hannah--abdiel always did have a tendency to shut down emotionally when they disagreed with each other, refusing to listen to what she was saying).

(baby eden also witnessed this argument, not that she ever told either of them about it.)

the next morning, they talked again, calmer this time. and hannah asked abdiel to stay. please. and he told her that he couldn't. if there was even a *tiny* hope that he could save her, he had to take it. because he loved her.

she was clearly devastated to hear that, but she nodded and said okay. but she told him to come back soon, and he told her he would--*after* he'd found a way to save her. and later that day, he was gone.

he never did come home, of course. he sent hannah letters when he could, but not all of them were delivered in a timely manner. without hannah there to balance him out, he lost himself in an obsessive spiral of trying to find a cure, trying to *fix* her, and he easily lost track of the time.

hannah telling him that he hadn't cured her and wasn't going to be able to... well, it hit a nerve, and he was determined to prove her wrong as much as he was determined to save her. he was angry with hannah, not that he'd ever call it that. (and, as a sidenote, it's during this time that abdiel developed most of his fame and renown as a wizard--even though he was no closer to curing hannah's disease, he was behind a lot of major advancements in medical technology in this era.)

when asked, abdiel would tell people he was married, but he rarely went into detail. and he certainly never mentioned his children. no one needed to know about his personal life, not until he'd fixed the problem and saved the love of his life.

and then, nearly six years later, abdiel received word that hannah was dead. and he was *devastated*. he locked himself in his study and completely broke down, drinking himself into a stupor and smashing a bunch of his equipment, and then the numbness fully settled in. he'd failed. and she was gone.

he didn't go to her funeral. he didn't want to face their neighbors, their *children*, knowing he'd failed his hannah and she was gone. and, fuck, their children surely hated him by now, didn't they? after all, he hadn't saved their mother. he'd hate him, too.

so, he stayed away, and he stopped sending letters. he withdrew from his family entirely, and once he was able, he threw himself back into his research, the only thing he had left. if he wasn't going to be able to have the life and family he'd wanted, then he'd at least have his work.

he did try to move on from hannah, but it never really went past the occasional one-night stand. as far as he's concerned, hannah's the only person he ever really cared for, and that's not going to change. there's no one else like her, and there never will be again. and like i *joke* bout him comparing his one-night stands to hannah, but he definitely did that. because no one compares to her.

(and on hannah's end--she never stopped loving or missing abdiel, and she had no interest in moving on from him. she held out hope he would come back, because he told her he would. he'd never broken a promise to her before that, and though she still believed his quest to cure her was fruitless... she knew, if anyone could find a way, it'd be him.)

#multi makes text posts #IT'S HERE.... BLAGH #eden linnaeus #my phone is so low on battery rn fick #*fuck

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yunalinwrites · 7 months

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jjk fics i'll never write (but maybe you will!)

i have a bunch of fic ideas i dont think i'll ever get to bc saved by the bell is taking rlly long and i don't have a lot of time (╥﹏╥)

i still wanna see them come to life tho so i think im just gonna throw them out there for anyone who wants to use lol

idk maybe ill write these eventually but even in that case im not gonna stop anyone else from using them as well

go ahead and alter however u like, but tag me if u use!! im letting u peek in my brain >:)

and even if ur not a writer these can just b like imagination prompts for when u go to bed LMAO

"love is work" - nanami kento x reader

summary: title is self-explanatory tbh--the idea that nanami kento views love as work could be applied to any scenario. but, i think it would be interesting for the reader to be the person he meets at the bakery. maybe the bakery is a family business, so the reader's work is literally driven by familial love. although, im not sure if that means they agree or disagree with nanami about love being work.

alternatively, the reader could be a co-worker of nanami's.

conflicts/themes:

serving oneself vs. serving others

what makes love/work worth it?

"meet cute" - fushiguro megumi x reader

there are so many canon strangers to lovers opportunities with megumi lol.

like, being the person "hitting on" (asking for directions from) fushiguro during that one juju stroll.

or the person getting robbed and saved by the 1st year crew, also from juju stroll. (also applicable for yuji and nobara x reader)

there's also the light novel chapter where megumi and yuji stalk gojo at a maid cafe, so maybe the reader works at the maid cafe, and the very stoic but handsome megumi catches their eye. this scenario could also be applicable to yuji x reader or gojo x reader.

there's also an original scenario i was thinking of cuz megumi likes reading (specifically non fiction) so what if the reader was a worker at a book store or a librarian. maybe they know about sorcery already because they read a non-fic book about it and recognize his uniform when he walks in.

also i haven't seen a megumi x tsumiki's friend!reader, esp considering that one girl when tsumiki is confronting megumi about bullying lol. this one could have an interesting conflict bc that girl urged tsumiki to do the test of courage that ended up getting her cursed! so then how would megumi deal with his love interest (the reader) also being the person somewhat at fault for his sister's demise?

not a meet-cute prompt but generally i think it would b interesting in any megumi fic for gojo to be a conflict. like, as megumi's father figure, he doesn't want megumi to end up like him and suguru, so he's very hesitant about letting megumi fall in love with someone since "love is the most twisted curse of them all." but i think in the end, he might realize that love/the reader is exactly what will stop megumi from turning into suguru, so gojo ends up giving the reader his blessing.

"sugar makes blood thicker" - geto suguru x reader

tw: spoilers for gojo's past/hidden inventory/star plasma vessel/premature death arc, angst, DARK CONTENT, self-destructive behaviors, self-harm, eating disorders

summary: reader is a student at jujutsu high in 2006, alongside geto and gojo. reader is from the kamo clan and uses blood manipulation. they've been taught to keep a very strict diet to optimize the viscosity of their blood. just like how geto hates the taste of cursed spirits, reader hates the taste of their diet. they fall in love with each other, because they've finally met someone that makes them feel understood.

if you want to go even darker, the reader's technique may involve cutting (kind of like marie from gen v)

conflicts/themes:

what's the point of fighting for a world that's done nothing for you in return? ("what has the world done for me lately?")

sugar makes blood thicker, which i can imagine is harder to control for a blood manipulation user

gojo satoru is the opposite of the reader: he eats however he pleases, which includes lots of sweets, so it's hard for the reader to be around him/doesn't like him. as a result, it's also hard for geto to have to pick sides between his best friend and the reader

ending: canon ending; geto chooses reader over gojo; they turn evil and run away together with nanako and mimiko. although it could also be interesting for geto to choose gojo over the reader, or if there's somehow a happy ending for everyone here.

I have no title for this one but gojo x megumi's older sister reader

self-explanatory. during the 2006 arc, after gojo kills toji. they raise megumi together <3

"if only i could go back" - any character x reader

summary: this is pretty self-indulgent lol this one's for everyone who wants to heal everyone's trauma and just have a happy ending lmao. i had this idea of the reader either being a sorcerer or a curse who has the power to grant one wish but in doing so sacrifices themselves (they die). so, obviously, they're in high demand by everyone:

megumi wants to heal his sister

gojo wants to bring suguru back

geto wants to rid the world of non-sorcerers

toji wants his wife back

shoko wants her friends back

etc

some situations the reader may find themselves in are being held at the school so that nobody can use their power unless absolutely necessary. or maybe they were captured by the curse users.

technicalities about the reader's power: they can't grant their own wish, but they have full autonomy over whose wish they can grant, meaning the only way that someone could get their wish granted is through befriending and persuading the reader.

conflicts/themes:

characters having to choose between their wish (which kills the reader) and their fondness of the reader (wanting the reader to stay)

will they truly be happy if their wishes are granted?

how does the reader feel about being the method of people's desires but not actually being the desire?

***

alr im done yapping

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tewwor · 1 month

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get to know the rper questionnaire .

tagging: stolt from @rcguish ! tagged by: EVERYONE!!

NAME?: ro, kc, kermit, whatever yall want

PRONOUNS?: she/they

MOST ACTIVE MUSES?: uhhh cruor, jie, jackrabbit, spencer (?)

RPG CLASS I'D BE: a little bitch— bard, lets be so fr

FAVORITE COLOR: orange! green!!! purple.....

FAVORITE TYPE OF THREAD: now, if you take a look at my powerpoint and pie chart ( points to blog ) — the consensus is fighting/action, ridiculous silly scenarios, hidden angst, hallmark romance moments, found family, and integrating your muse into one of my lores :o)

FAVORITE THING ABOUT MY MUSE: i'm just going to blab about cruor, because jie's had his time on the other blog BUT LIKE —i just think he's neat! and it's interesting ( fucked up on my part ) how his phobia of blood wasn't innate, but rather a result of having experienced death first hand and coming to realize 'oh shit, i actually died, and i can still feel flashes of it in my head, and now i'm panicking'. also, how overachieving for him isn't something necessarily good. yes, it's wonderful that he's able to heal people. but to push himself beyond what the marked tell him to look after? just because there's this drive he's applied to himself to heal as much as he can, as if he can heal himself or his mother's grief in a way? yeah, no, it's doing more harm than good. and he's kind! the sort of kind that most people might think of a too much or silly. and he's shredded as hell, lets be real here.

HOW YOU LIKE TO RP: i'm holding everyone's hands as i say this.. it's just like consulting a magic 8 ball. i'm so serious ( pensive ). sometimes quick one liners work! other times random ask memes are good! half the time it takes some plotting and getting to know my writing partner's character a bit more! a lot of time it's just yelling in dms. just depends on my brain, your preference, and the stars aligning or something.

FAVORITE PLOTS: injured or sick + someone helping them....... oh shit, i guess we're stuck in a Situation....... literally any dumb hallmark scene ( i think it's so funny )........ fake! dating!!!!!!!!! arguing / trying to pull someone's head out of their ass to help them...... showing care, in just about any form.... horror :-)

WHERE YOU GET YOUR INSPIRATION FROM: ahem, ahem, YALL!!! we're all lil' creative generators here, even if it feels like you're in a slump! i can say with full confidence that all of my mutuals have wonderful, fantastic characters and worlds they bring to life!!! also, podcasts, the few films or tv shows i come by, books.. sometimes......... fever dreams and dreams in general tbh

FACT ABOUT YOU: the ogs know this, but i thought i could crack a glowstick with my teeth. i was right. i also happened to ingest half of the liquid inside because i bit into it too much :o)

#* & make way for rapid clown honking — ooc .

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dorylinae-supremacy · 2 months

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Taking a break from writing striped hat so I can ramble about fae AU's again they're one of my fav things ever.

Tags: DSBI, dark Techno, dark Phil, dark Kristin, mentioned Kristin, kidnapping, impersonation, usual fae stuff tbh, its like 600 words of me rambling about fic ideas below the cut, read more if thats your jam.

Idk if I've mentioned it before but I've been toying with the concept that fae take the face of the first human they've tricked and then it slowly morphs into something thats more their own.

This isn't rooted in any actual folklore as far as I'm aware but I like the vibe it adds. It adds another layer of terror to every interaction with them. Each time you come across a fae, you're looking into the eyes of their first victim.

Maybe they tweak it a bit here and there so they can lure other humans better but I like to think it stays mostly the same. It also adds another layer to things from the fae's perspective as well.

A fae close to their family might deliberately pick out and push a human into a deal if they think it'll make them look similar to their other families faces.

It can also add a layer where fae bloodlines might literally just prey upon entire human families purely for aesthetics. The worst part is a human might not even know that thats the case, they might just chalk it up to a generational curse or bad luck.

Something like this wouldn't apply to four seasons since they werent born fae and thus already had their faces but that wouldn't apply to Phil. The dude they see could genuinely just be the face of some unlucky traveller centuries ago.

These faces could also be used as lures for other humans who might've known the tricked person before. All the fae has to do is look a little scuffed up and beg for help in a hidden circle and they've got a steady supply of victims.

It also means that if any of the humans they steal do get out somehow, the people they knew might turn away from them and assume a fae is tricking them.

I know I'm rambling but its such a tasty plot device.

But anyway I wanna try it eventually. I have one fleshed out fic in my head where fae!Wil tries to trick human!Techno but kinda messes up the order that you're meant to do things.

Fae take the face after as a trophy of sorts, he took it before making any deals to try and be more relatable to him since they're both kids.

Human!Techno is, of course, a very well adjusted prince and naturally decides that this fae is his twin and that he has to have him. So with the help of years of training against fae, he's able to trick Wilbur and steal him.

The rest of the fic is Wil being terrified because the yoink has been reversed but even after he reveals the fact that he's a fae Kristin and Phil have already decided to keep him. No running for him :)

But I have another in mind where twinsduo end up taking the faces of two princes in a kingdom but then get mistaken for actually being them.

Maybe the princes were playing in the forest before getting yoinked but either way a royal guard comes and just drags them back to the castle.

They can't really do much about it since they're super young fae and there's a lot of iron around but things only get worse when the antarctic empire invades and takes them hostage, still thinking that they're the actual princes.

Originally they were just gonna bide their time until they can go back into the woods again but now they're being kept as hostage and Phils getting more and more interested in how odd they keep acting.

Obviously it ends in them getting surprise adopted but I'm not sure how to get from point A to B yet so more brainrot will be scheduled for when I work it out.

#dory brainrots #fae are very special to me #theyre so fun to write #dark sbi #dark sleepy bois inc

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colourme-feral · 9 months

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✨2023: A Summary✨

Post your most popular and/or favourite edit/gifset/analysis for each month (it’s okay to skip months!)

Thanks to @lurkingshan for the tag! This is a pretty great way to do a wrap up of posts for the year past.

January

most popular — the NLMG title cards post (but tbh, I liked the idea, but not the calligraphy lol)

favourite — I identified one of my favourite locations

February

most popular — MLC and the chin tickles saga

favourite(s) — NLMG and some of its visual parallels and MLC and the passing of time

March

most popular — understandably, this post on MLC and some of its details

favourite — this post about chains of heart 😂😂😂

April

most popular — the use of light and warmth in ODT / Bokura no Shokutaku

favourite — brutalist architecture in Lockwood & Co. made my brain go brrr

May

most popular — (it was actually a poll, so I ignored that post) the very pride and prejudice of step by step

favourite — I was mad at Yutaka's parents for how they dealt with their adoption of him. Still valid to me

June

most popular — (again ignoring the poll) in an honestly shocking and unexpected twist, I actually considered the tops that Chot and Pat were wearing and what they might have meant

favourite(s) — the looks that minoru gives looking at yutaka talking to tane and part 2 of the Step by Step and Pride and Prejudice parallels

July

most popular — the hopes we had for kissing gmm grandpas in Hidden Agenda dashed by gmm

favourite(s) — this scene in Khun Chai that wouldn't leave my mind, leaving me not choice but to scream about it a year after watching the show and also my first loa/khun chai parallels post. If you listen carefully, you might still hear me screaming.

August

most popular — the packet of rice in loa

favourite(s) — the 2 part shared + spotted locations post for Baan Bellawin because it was so much work (part 1, part 2) but I guess I need to also do a shout out to the ifylita locations post for Yai's home

September

most popular — Troye Sivan's Got Me Started and its shared locations with Thai qls. This is actually the post I got the most notes for in 2023. really proud of it.

favourite(s) — loa brainrot so I made a loa parallels post, also loa and khun chai parallels post #2, another ifylita locations post for dear ol' robbo's home and genius chef junior (and then she cried)

October

most popular — I'm just gonna say that the best part of Zong Yi's cake shop are the catz. This post is also more proof that tumblr loves cats

favourite — @lurkingshan 's ask about my favourite location from a drama, which I used to do an entire list of locations I'd like to visit if I were in Bangkok, referencing some of my locations irl posts

November

most popular — Old Fashion Cupcake and its manga parallels, inspired by @troubled-mind. So fun to do!

favourite — I identified Babe's controversial house. I like it, but I know some people were screaming - and not in a good way 😂

December

most popular — I saw parallels between NLMG and Last Twilight and ran with it

favourite(s) — @my-rose-tinted-glasses was very kind to indulge me and asked for my favourite irl locations of 2023. I also couldn't help myself and started posting Last Twilight and Open Spaces. Excited about continuing these and also writing about these once I'm back home.

I'm sure some have already been tagged, but no pressure tags for @blmpff, @my-rose-tinted-glasses, @neuroticbookworm, @respectthepetty, @sparklyeyedhimbo, @telomeke, @troubled-mind and anyone else who might be interested!

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#the tag game #2023 in qls

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deepperplexity · 9 months

Text

Prompt 21: Star Of Wishes [B8]

Pairing: Snape x Fem!OC

POV: First, OC

Setting: OC’s home -> Severus’s hidden place

Continuation of: Prompt 2. Restless Waiting, 3. Snowballing, 7. Stormy Reunion, 8. Rosemary For Holly, 16. Keep Warm, 19. Hope & 20. Returning Home

A/N: TODAY WE WRAP UP SEVERUS’ STORY! I’m super drained, tbh, but I so loved writing this part and giving everyone that HEA even if it doesn’t happen until the very end so to say 😂🙈 We do get some lovely smut though, hope you'll enjoy the emotional ride of the intimacy too 🤭 This might be the last long fic for the year. I have 0 time, I have no idea how I’m gonna be able to write the next 3 fics and get them up but I’ll manage somehow 😂 I still don’t know what prompt 23 and 24 will be this year, I do know that tomorrows prompt will be the one I use to wrap up Turpin’s story — how, I have no idea yet. We’ll see 😂👍

+A/N: This part of the serial contains a relationship dynamic in the beginning that can be extremely toxic and dangerous when real, but this is FICTION, and as the author I have created this relationship with the intention of it being trauma-healing, safe, loving, and no harm have or will come to any of the characters due to the relationship or any acts of either of the characters. If you feel this relationship matches yours, PLEASE take a step back and really evaluate if you are in a dangerous relationship - if your partner is treating you in a manner that isn’t loving or safe.

Tags/TW’s: Kisses, embracing, Harsh and Soft Touching, Apologising For Ones Behaviour, Slight Snark, Trying Ones Best, Stunted Emotional Development, Confessions of Regret/Hurt/Anger/Fear/Pain/Lacking Knowledge/Love/Affection/Trust, Explicit Description, Dark Sexual Past, Gentle and Caring Touches, Hints At Past Sexual Abuse/Coercion/Rape (not graphic or described),

Word Count: 4.7k

LINKTREE // AO3 // MASTERLIST

It had been over seven months since the day I thought my heart would stop. The day I found him more dead than alive in the Shrieking Shack. The day a strange little elf was sent to me with a message from someone a mere boy, which led me to find the man I loved so broken — poisoned, snake venom slithering through his veins no magic could have stopped. But my mom, she stopped it. My mom, a muggle who the Dark Lord so much detested, had won over his own snake.

The year had passed in a blurry ordeal of pain, love, recovery, and healing. But still, there was so much healing needed I could barely wrap my head around it. Christmas was upon us, and I hadn’t the heart to decorate our home. The home we ended up sharing, just me and Severus. At first, it was to get away from everyone and give him a chance to heal, but it changed about a month ago. A month ago, it became something different, an emotional journey for the two of us one could say. Spewed words of hatred, panic attacks through dark nights, long stretches of time without a word spoken from him, my dear broken man.

I didn’t give up, yet yesterday, when he’d so viciously barked at me about the time I’d decorated his office and how stupid I’d been to do such a thing — well, something broke in me. I hadn’t decorated our home, I hadn’t put up anything related to Christmas despite it being the 21st of December now and my most loved holiday. I’d simply allowed our home to remain barren, for his sake, as he seemed to hate the holiday with a vengeance unlike any I’d ever seen.

“I’ll take a walk,” I called through the little house, not expecting any response. The cold winter air greeted me but there was no wind, not a sound from beyond the bubble the little house sat in at the very end of a clearing in some ancient forest I still had no idea of the location of. I could only apparate there since I knew what it looked like.

My heart ached for the man left behind in the house while stepping into the night. No matter what, I wouldn’t give up on him. He had every right to be broken, hurt, lost — but sometimes I had to take some time for myself to find the strength and courage I needed to go on when his hatred and pain shined too brightly. Sometimes, I was the only one around he could lash out against and even if it hurt beyond anything else to hear such foul words in his voice directed at me, I still loved him more than anything and the nights when I held him tight I just knew it would pass. Eventually, time would heal his wounds and I’d still be there. I would never abandon him, something I knew he feared above all else yet he always showed I was free to come and go as I pleased. He knew what it was to be trapped, he didn't wish that for me in any sense of the word.

The snow crunched beneath my shoes, I slipped on my mittens and shoved my hands into my coat’s pockets while walking ahead. Above me, just before I left the clearing and the trees would obscure the sky, I saw the little stars speckling the darkness. I paused for a second to just look at the enormity of the universe, to get perspective perhaps, or simply allow myself to think of how small things can mean so much in the enormity of it all. A falling star streaked by, and I couldn’t help but close my eyes and send a wish to it. It was a childish thing to do perhaps, but I wished for Severus to allow me to help him and be close with him. Some day it might come true, he’s trying already…

I walked around for nearly two hours, until my toes were numb and my cheeks beyond chilly. Just breathing, imagining a happy Christmas with him. “In the future, when he’s healed… Maybe then…” I murmured to myself as I stomped off my boots and stepped back into our little home.

I lost my breath.

When I left, the house had been dark, dreary, void of all things Christmas but now… Now there were decorations everywhere. Eternally burning candles, perfectly green garlands, golden ornaments, and red bows littered every surface, door frame, and window. The house had turned into a Christmas-littered haven perfectly decorated to my own taste, almost as I had decorated Severus’s office a year ago — just slightly different colours.

“What in the world,” I whispered as I dragged off my fluffy mittens and shrugged out of my coat. “S-Severus! I don’t mean to alarm you but I think Santa broke in!” I called, my brain not able to think of another reason why our house looked like Christmas heaven. “No, love,” he murmured as he appeared in the doorway to the living room beyond the hallway I was moving through. “I am apologizing,” he continued and the sweet look of guilt and hope covering his features made my heart ache.

“Severus, what-, why?” I asked as he straightened and reached for my hand to tug me into his arms. I followed without any resistance. I always wanted to be in his arms, one of the many things I always wished for while I nursed him back to health physically after my mom had saved his life. “I said dreadful things.” “You’re trying, Sev.” “No, you are trying, Linna—” he exhaled the words into my hair “—and I’m constantly making it harder for you.” “Healing takes time, Sev. It takes time.” “It gives me no right to take it out on you, you have done nothing but stand by me.” “I always will, I won’t abandon you.” “I almost wish you would, it would be easier to be in misery than… deal with it all.” “Oh, stop, you’re a strong man, you can deal with it.” “Love, you overestimate my abilities, and underestimate your importance…”

For a long moment, I said nothing, just thought about his words — the sweet ones he now spoke and the hurtful ones that came out when we tried to process his trauma. It wasn’t easy to stay, wasn’t easy to take it and not retort or yell or scream or cry. But the hardest thing I had ever done was stay away from him, nothing else came close to it.

“Will you forgive me?” he asked, his voice low and nearly that of someone frightened. “I-, Severus… you don’t need my—” “Your forgiveness is the only one I need.” “I won’t forgive you then,” I said softly. “I won’t forgive you until you fight harder.” “Love, I—” “No, you’re the strongest man I’ve ever met. I’m nothing compared to you and I have nothing to equal your pain and hurt, your strength, or your bravery, so if I only have this one thing to hold over your head I bloody well will, Sev.” “Feisty today, are we?”

His voice was teasing, yet the hurt and fear still lingered behind it all and I couldn’t help but feel even more love for the man who dealt so poorly with his own emotions — he’d never been allowed any, so how would he ever know how to deal with them properly? I did the only thing I could think of, I hugged him with all my strength until his arms wrapped around me and I felt some of the tension leave his body. “Silly man,” I whispered. “You really need to learn how to deal with your emotions.” “I’m… I am trying,” he confessed and I knew he spoke true. He was trying with everything he had and I’d be with him every step of the way.

We stood there, for the longest moment, until I felt the urge to explore all the Christmas decorations he’d filled the house with. “I thought you hated Christmas with a passion as strong as amortentia’s power to make people go insane with obsession.” “I do.” “Then, why?” “You are the obsessed in this case,” he chuckled. “So, for me, then?” He merely nodded but I smiled warmly at him. It was a giant act of care and love on his part, it only made me love the holiday even more.

We walked through the little house, I looked at everything he’d done in a sort of stunned silence until we got to the bedroom. “Really?” I asked and arched a brow at him, he shrugged while raising his own brows in a sort of “what?” kind of expression. “Rosemary?” “Well…” he murmured as his cheeks took on the tiniest hint of pink, barely there but significant enough for me to notice after having gotten to know him so well the past few months. “I love it,” I said and kissed his cheek gently. “It’s perfect,” I continued while allowing my eyes to rest another moment on the rosemary twigs replacing the holly — just like it had done a year ago.

“Love, I truly am sorry… I shouldn’t have said the things I did, or done it in the manner I did.” “I know, and you know, and it’s in the past.” “It is not in the past,” he said and sighed. “I fear I’ll never be able to… To…” “Sev, schh, it’s okay. You’re learning. Have you ever had a right to express yourself? Or even have feelings at all?” “No.” “So you’re a baby.” He sneered at that, almost recoiling. “If you think about it logically, you’re as able as a child to deal with your emotions and when children feel truly safe with someone they’ll act up, they’ll cry and scream and get pissed because they feel it’s safe to show their emotions and, eventually, with the help of safe adults they learn to communicate and deal with their emotions in a healthy and proper manner. Yes, you’re a grown man, but you’ve never had the chance to learn or become comfortable with your emotions.” “I’m comfortable with you.” “And I am with you, we can both show our emotions, and right now your emotions aren’t under control but that’s not your fault. You’ll learn, grow, and become able to handle it eventually.”

Severus simply stared at me. It felt like an eternity passed while his eyes seemed to dig themselves into mine. Eventually, he drew a long breath. “You are far too good.” “I’ll be anything you need me to be.” “I merely need you, just as you are. If you… if you are willing to be patient, with… me…” It sounded as if he had to push with all his might to say the word in a calm and collected manner, as if he felt a need to either spit them out or say nothing at all. It warmed my heart and I nodded gently, smiling up at him as I took his hands gently in my own. “I’ll always be patient with you,” I said and leaned up to kiss him. His thin lips pushed harshly against mine while he tugged me closer.

He backed me up, toward our bed, and gently laid me down without our lips ever leaving each other. “Severus?” I asked, my heart hammering too hard while my entire body tightened warmly under him. “If you don’t want this, say so now, love.” “I-, I do…” It feels like I’ve waited all my life for this moment. “But are you ready?” I asked in return, remembering all the times he’d recoiled at my soft touch or jolted at a sweet caress of his cheek. Loving touches, as I’d learned over the past months, wasn’t something he was used to or even knew how to deal with.

“I want to try,” he confessed after another kiss. “Okay,” I whispered and he kissed me again while his hands roughly caressed my sides. His kisses turned harsher and he bent my legs to fit himself between them. I simply moved with him, allowed him to lead the way while I avoided touching him, keeping my hands above my head even if all I wished to do was strip him and ravish him with all my love and adoration, thousands of kisses and hundreds of soft caresses — with all my warmth.

His hands travelled up my arms until one of them clamped around my wrists before the other tore open my blouse with a jerk. His breathing turned ragged, his hand clamped around my wrists harder while he undid my pants with his free hand — tugging at the buttons too harshly.

“S-Sev,” I whispered against his lips. All his motions halted. He looked down at me, his eyes darker than ever. “I won’t run away,” I whispered. “Even if you don’t hold me down, I won’t touch you unless you allow it,” I continued. “I-, I don’t know how to… How to do this…” His voice was a mere murmur, a deep droning of a confession barely audible. “I know. I understand. But I do… Let me show you?” I asked gently while holding his eyes with my own.

He hesitated, a fear of what was to come in those onyx eyes of his, while I laid utterly still despite the need to love him clawing at my skin with a burning desire. He nodded, a stiff motion, while he slowly released my hands.

I sat up and he backed off the bed, standing between my knees. I looked up at him, not making any quick moves but standing up while he took a step back and his fists clenched. “Will you let me lead?” I asked. He merely nodded. “No, Severus. I need you to say the words.” He looked bewildered for a second before his fists unclenched on a deep exhale. “You lead.” “Thank you.”

I gently reached out while he stood absolutely still. “I’m going to undress you. And then you will undress me, slowly.” He nodded at my words and I got to work with the buttons of his shirt, not letting my fingers tremble while he watched them work. I tugged the shirt off his shoulders without touching his skin, dragging the fabric down his arms while searching his eyes before it floated to the floor. I undid the belt of his pants, then the button and zipper before bending to tug them off as he wore no shoes.

He lifted each leg for me to remove the pants fully while simultaneously slipping my finger within the hem of his socks and taking them off at the same time. I heard him draw a shaky breath as I rose before him as he stood in just his boxers. He was such a beautiful sight in the candlelight and I couldn’t help but look him up and down while my cheeks heated, no matter how hard I tried to control my own emotions for his benefit.

“Now, you undress me in the same manner. But, you can touch me if you want to.” He nodded at my words and as he reached for my already open blouse I caught a glimpse of his unsteady fingers that seemed to be both stiff and trembling. But he managed to undress me in a somewhat slow fashion, even if he didn’t look at me while he did so. His eyes flickered all over the place as if he didn’t know where to look.

When he stood up we were only in our underwear. I was strangely relaxed while he seemed tense. So I stepped closer, my eyes seeking his, and allowed my hands to reach out. “I’ll touch you now,” I said and his eyes found mine. He looked terrified, but he didn’t move away as my hands reached his chest dusted with dark hair so soft to the touch I wanted to moan at just the sensation of him. “Touch me, Severus, feel my body. It belongs to you,” I said gently to encourage him to dare. “I-, I have never in-, in this manner,” he confessed. “Tell me how you’ve done it, share your experiences with me while we do this gently.” “Love… No,” he said, a darkness to his voice. “Tell me, and touch me.”

I allowed my hands to stroke down his arms, slip to his hips, and go up along his sides until I could spread my fingers over his chest — his heart pounded. Then his hands reached out for my hips. “It was rough,” he began while his uncertain fingers began exploring my body in a jaggedly jumpy fashion. “Never out of care or, want… A necessity, sometimes something done without my approval. Merely for the… mission …” “Never again, darling,” I whispered while my hands explored his back and my front went flush against his, forcing his hands to slip behind me as well.

I kissed his collarbone and allowed my lips to slant up along his throat until I met his jawline. “This will only ever happen if you want it,” I assured him and his fingers stiffened at my lower back while I felt his cock press against my pelvis. “I can’t talk about it,” he confessed. “Not like this,” he continued and I nodded before kissing his cheek. “That’s okay, Sev. Will you still allow me to lead and touch?” “Yes…” “Say stop and it all stops.”

I stepped back and took off my underwear before ridding him of his. As we stood face to face I searched his eyes, tried to read what few emotions he showed, I found none truly alarming so I continued to kiss and caress him before we ended up on the bed. He was stiff beneath me, but I kept kissing and caressing his upper body while snuggling myself between his legs.

“Love…” he murmured. “Yes, Sev?” “Are you-, do you truly wish for this?” “Yes. I want all of you, all you are willing to gift me.” “All?” “Yes, all . There is no part of you I don’t love. I want to be close to you, care for you, love you.” He seemed to soften beneath me at that. “I will try,” he said quietly while his hands finally began to caress my skin, travelling along my sides until his fingers reached my face and he pulled me closer before kissing me softly.

I moaned into his mouth and kissed him back with all I had while still keeping the pace slow and the touch gentle. His thumb caressed my cheek and the kiss ended. I began stroking his side, travelling from his ribs to his hips before lifting myself a bit to reach his cock. He exhaled deeply as my fingers wrapped around him and I began stroking him gently, each movement measured and controlled to be gentle and comforting.

“It-, it feels good,” he whispered as he laid back fully, relaxing and taking in my touch. “I’ll always make you feel good, Sev,” I said, my voice too low but I was desperate to keep my control when all I truly wished to do was ravish him and have him fill my aching cunt. But we both needed this, he needed this to be different and I wanted him to feel safe and adored with me — as he always should feel.

I worked him to the point of him moaning deeply beneath me, my hands touching and stroking, my lips slanting and kissing, my mouth whispering sweet words of adoration and care. The room turned too warm, his breaths came harder and his muscles tensed beneath me while my core turned slick and needy.

“Sev, I’m going to ride you,” I said, making sure he knew what was about to happen before I did anything, giving him the chance to stop me. But he didn’t, he merely looked at me with warm eyes of want even if a small sliver of worry still lingered within the onyx colour.

I climbed atop him, guiding his thick cock to my entrance while straddling him. He looked up at me, his hands landing on my thighs as I began to sink, allowing him to slip inside and fill me up deliciously slow. He groaned and threw his head back as I took him to the hilt. It felt too good. He felt too perfect within me.

His hands flexed, his fingers digging into my flesh, and I moaned his name while taking in the sensation of being with him. I had dreamt of that moment for so long, wondered what it would be like, what he’d feel like, how he’d react — never had I imagined I’d be the one leading. But with Severus, things were always different.

“Love,” he groaned as I began riding him slowly. “You feel so good, Sev,” I moaned as my cunt adjusted to his size. “Belinna,” he moaned. “I-, I can’t,” he continued with a strain to his dark rumble of a voice. “Want me to stop?” I asked while keeping on riding him in slow motions, steady rising and falling, using all of my power to not allow the frenzy building within me to take over. “No, no don’t stop,” he groaned as his fingers dug themselves into my flesh with a grip so tight I wondered if he’d leave marks on me from his desperate hold. “But I can’t, I can’t hold out,” he panted while I felt his entire body turn nearly solid beneath me.

I’d only barely begun, but I wouldn’t take away his pleasure or deny him a release he so obviously needed. “Then let go, darling,” I said while I upped the pace a tiny bit. “Just let go.” “ Belinna ,” he moaned in a near prayer as I splayed my hands out on his chest, leaning forward to find a new angle to take him. He jerked beneath me, his jaw clenched tightly while his hips bucked upwards, and I moaned as he came undone beneath me.

His cock jerked with me, warm waves coating my insides while I kept riding him steadily while my hands felt the hammering of his heart. “You’re so good, Sev,” I praised while he groaned deeply. “So good, darling,” I continued and he moaned a strange sound of relief and something darker. I slowed my pace until I stilled fully, not chasing my release.

I watched him, the pale skin with a slight tint to his cheeks and little beads of sweat across his forehead, and couldn’t help but be filled with a desperate need to comfort him. He looked strangely satisfied but confused, tense but relaxed at the same time.

“Sev, are you alright?” I asked while stroking away a few stray strands of his hair. He looked up at me, I was unable to understand what his eyes were filled with though. He just looked at me, his chest still rising and falling rapidly, while I felt him soften within me his hands released their grip on my flesh.

“I-, I don’t know,” he confessed. “That’s okay,” I said and leaned forward to kiss his hooked nose while he slipped out of me, a gushing of sticky cum flowing out of me. “We’re a mess, would you like to shower with me?” I asked with a smile even if my entire body was reeling with the need to come. He shook his head and I nodded before kissing his thin lips gently. “I’ll be right back, I don’t like cleaning up with magic.”

I handed him his wand after having stood and went to the bathroom on shaky legs. My insides pulsed and his cum streaked down my thighs. I locked the door and stepped into the shower, the warm water cascaded over me and I reached down to find the release I so desperately needed while his moans and groans filled my head from mere memory. His cum and my slick covered my fingers as I stroked myself into a trembling mess, taking support from the wall while biting down on my lip to not make a sound. I made quick work of it all, finding my release swiftly only to rush through cleaning myself.

I grabbed my robe from the hook on the wall and left the bathroom while cinching the sash around my waist. When I stepped into the bedroom Severus sat on the edge of the bed, dressed in a new shirt and his black silken pyjama pants. He was leaning his elbows on his knees, a hunch to his shoulders and a stiffness to his back.

I walked up, sinking down on my knees before him. “Sev? Are you alright?” I asked anew but he shook his head. “What’s wrong?” I continued while wrapping my hands around his where they were entwined before me. “Is that how it’s supposed to be?” he asked quietly. “What do you mean?” “Soft, caring… Warm …” My eyes widened as he looked up at me. “Sev… Darling… Yes, it’s supposed to be all those things. It’s supposed to feel only good.” My heart screamed at the torment and confusion in his eyes while he looked at me so intently that I felt as if he were trying to enter my soul.

“What do you need, darling?” I asked while squeezing his hands. “Need?” “Yes, what do you need from me?” “Nothing you haven’t already given too much of.” “Okay, what would make you feel safe and cared for right now?” I asked to change his view on the question I was asking. “I-, I don’t know.” “Cuddles?” I asked. “Or alone time? Food? Words of affirmation?” I kept going to try and jog his thoughts about it all. I knew what I wanted but what I needed was to comfort him in whatever manner he needed.

“I usually prefer some cuddles and snuggles after getting clean, and talking about what felt good and what didn’t,” I said to open up about my own wants to hopefully make him see it was okay to ask for something more, for what one needs. “There was nothing about that which did not feel good, love,” Severus murmured, his eyes cast down on our hands. “I’m glad to hear that.”

“Would you like me to stay or give you some time?” I asked after another moment. “Don’t leave,” he whispered. “Stay. Please…” The confusion and worry in his voice was heartbreaking but that he asked me to stay warmed me. “I’ll stay, for as long as you wish.” “Forever. I wish you to stay forever,” he said and I felt my eyes water at his honesty. “I love you, Severus.” “I love you too. And I am trying, I am truly trying, Belinna.” “I know,” I said and reached my hand up to caress his chilly cheek.

He leaned into my hand, a small smile across his lips. Such a difference to just a few weeks ago. “It may sound foolish,” he began quietly, “but I… I wished on a falling star for the bravery needed to be closer to you. It fell across the sky just as you left for your walk.” “I-, Sev, I wished on that star too,” I confessed and he blinked at me. “I wished for you to allow me to be close to you…” “Is that so?” “Yes…” “Star of wishes, perhaps we needn’t wish on stars in the future…” “Perhaps we can simply… talk with each other more?”

Severus reached up and cupped my face, smiling softly while I placed my hands on his chest. His heart beat steadily beneath my palms and warmth seemed to envelop the two of us among the garlands and candlelight. “I wish for nothing more than a future where we can speak openly,” he said gently and I felt as if I were melting on the inside. “Let’s make that future a reality, together.” “Together,” he echoed and kissed me deeply. My wish came true, and my hard work and patience were rewarded in the end. My own little Christmas miracle…

LINKTREE // AO3 // MASTERLIST

A/N: WAAAAAAAH!!!! Gosh, frikkin darn it, I love this so much and it's so sweet and they are so loving and caring and waaaaah..! I hope you enjoyed the end to this Rickmas2023 serial as well darlings! 🥰👏

+A/N: I am so so so sorry I haven't had the chance to reply to comments/reblogs yet - I am itching to do it and I will get to it as soon as I have a chance to and life isn't going crazy (I love and adore that you comment and reblog darling! I really do!) ❤

Q: Do you feel ready for 2024? A: I am so so so ready for 2023 to be over, it's been the most insane year and I can't quite wrap my head around it now that we're on the home stretch - how did I manage all I managed this year?

TAGLIST: @lizlil @snapefiction @darkthought15 @monstreviolet @flowerdementia @marvelschriss @once-upon-an-imagine @ravennight41 @caseydoodles98 @slytherinprincess03 @theconsultingdetectiveswife @grimmyhild @monster-energies @myobscureimaginarium @snowblossomreads @eternal-silvertongued-prince @cherryglossie @setsuna-meiou31 @helena211 @a-queen-and-her-throne @justsaturn0 @turvi @imwithyoutiltheendofthelinebucky @sunnylikesfrogs @mamawolfsmith16 @dianilaws @sassanoe @snapesrn @bernadette-peters12 @sammy-13 @smartowl999 @castleofthorns @serenanight87 @leah1243

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[Dec:2023]

#rickmas2023 #rickmas #alan rickman #rickmaniac #pro snape #severus snape #snape x oc #snape fic #snape lives au #chrsitmas fic #event fic

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ghouliaxghuleh · 2 years

Text

As Above, So Below

// Chapter One \\

Pairing(s): Papa Emeritus III/Reader, Mary Goore/Reader (Eventual) Tags: Discussion of Death, Angst, Mostly set up for later chapters tbh. SFW (not for long, i promise) Word Count: 3.7K Summary: Right before his death, Terzo asks you to protect something for him. Fast forward a few years and you're still in possession of a strange magical box that cannot be opened on your own. However, on one very strange day, it all changes when you cross a line with Papa Emeritus the Fourth, and he sends you down to the catacombs...

You think about your last conversation with Papa Emeritus the Third often. It plagues your mind the way a bad after taste lingers in your mouth long after consumption, leaving you with a bitterness that's both hungry and suffocating. It was one that only made sense now in grief, the hidden meaning of his carefully chosen words clearer to your wiser ears. Terzo was an open book yet shrouded in mystery, never truly revealing his true wants or motivations. The way he danced around the topic in conversations had led highly ranking members of the clergy to underestimate him, but you knew the truth.

Terzo was clever, there was no man nor devil whom he couldn't convince to do his bidding. Yet he stood before you that night a desperate, broken man, closer to human than you'd ever seen him, and it felt like sobering up after a night of heavy drinking. Everything that came before felt like a fairytale shrouded in a translucent veil when standing in the pale light of a backstage dressing room.

He spoke of his impending death so casually and nonchalantly, if you hadn't been paying attention, you might have thought he was speaking on the tour.

"I feel a storm coming, Sorella," His smokey voice called out to you from across the room, mismatched gaze staring at you from the dirty mirror on the wall.

The adrenaline of the pre-ritual was gone, the light overhead flickering as the atmosphere in the room began to shift with Terzo's mood. You could see the trouble brewing behind his blue-green eye, the concern he tried so desperately to hide. To someone who didn't know the middle Emeritus brother, they might have mistaken his expression was one of annoyance, but many nights spent in close proximity led you to the truth in his character, the mysterious front man.

"Papa, does something worry you?"

You knew the answer already, but you could see the way the muscles in Terzo's shoulders tensed when you stepped closer. Compared to his brothers, he was kind and comforting, but he was still the devil's son. He was flighty, prone to acting on impulse to avoid situations he got himself into. You wondered if he would flee now, uncomfortable in the solitude of the dressing room.

"For just a moment," He said, voice soft and his eyes flickered up to meet yours, "let me speak."

You waited behind him patiently, feeling the nerves wash over you as he turned away from the mirror, slowly stalking towards you, muscles shifting beneath the material of his stage costume. His gloved hands grasped yours, the white silk soft against your palms as he rubbed comforting circles against the back of your hand.

"When we get back to the Ministry, I need you to do a favor for Papa, ey? It is very important," Terzo's eyes were pinned on yours, hands gripping yours a bit firmer as his lips titled down in a slight frown.

"There is something I need you to keep safe for me," His hands released yours, one slipping into your hair to cradle the back of your head. "A wooden box in the chapel, beneath the floorboards by the altar. Imperator cannot have it, nor the Cardinal, or Nihil. I need you to keep this secret for me, Sorella."

"Of course, Papa."

Your response was breathless as he pressed soft kisses against your exposed throat, lips trembling but not enough to draw attention. You could feel his staggered breath against your throat and foolishly mistook it for lust as Terzo pulled your body against his, his nose buried in your hair.

"There is someone else with the key, but promise me until the time comes, you'll keep it safe, okay?"

He kissed you that night as if he was going to be the last time he ever would - mostly, because it was. You didn't realize it at the time, how rapidly your lover was being ripped from your arms. When he took the stage that night as Papa Emeritus the Third, you hadn't expected him to leave it Terzo, yanked from his pillar by the ministry and whisked away without so much as a goodbye. In the rush of confusion and chaos, you hadn't realized Nihil had taken the stage, too busy chasing the clergymen through the maze of twisting concert hallways.

It was too late, however. Terzo knew that - but you didn't. The moment he stepped onto the stage it was over, perhaps even before that. From that point on, the sun never shined as brightly, nor felt as warm against your skin. The flowers did not bloom so brightly or as long, and the leaves from the tree shriveled fast as winter came early. Papa Emeritus the Third was beheaded in the night, and his elder brothers followed him to the grave immediately afterwards.

A new era had come upon the ministry and with it, and usurper.

Pale light washed through the elegant stained-glass windows of the ministry, casting a mirage of muted colors across the cold stone floors and up the engraved walls. The morning was quiet as the cold December chill seeped through the walls, the clock on the wall ahead of you displaying the time as 7:58 AM. It was only a short walk to the chapel from your small room, so you weren’t worried about being late as you stepped out into the hallway. You quickly made sure your habit was in place, glancing over your shoulder as you grew weary of Sister’s Imperator’s presence. Or, more precisely – the lack of it.

You were used to her lurking in the hallways on the mornings of sermons, ready to punish any sibling that happened to stumble out of bed late. She seemed particularly keen on catching you, however. It seemed impossible to evade her watchful eye. Imperator had always been a bit of a pain in the ass, but since Copia had taken over as Papa Emeritus, she seemed to gain delight in being allowed to punish as she pleased. All of your siblings knew that it didn’t matter what she didn’t – Papa would forgive her. He always did.

On a day such as this one, however, her disappearance was unnerving. It was a Hunter’s Moon tonight; therefore, the morning’s sermon would be a very important one. There was no doubt in your mind that Papa would choose a prime mover, a title you’d once respected and coveted. The very idea of being chosen as his prime mover, however, left you slowing in your pace as you approached the chapel.

It was not that you had issues with Copia – in fact, since ascending the papacy, you’ve found him more tolerable. His newfound confidence and time on tour had refined him into a man more benefiting to lead the ministry. The siblings had come to love him, and the word of Ghost was reaching a broader audience than it ever had. Truly, he was a good Papa, but the idea of pledging yourself to him eternally left you with a sense of persistent unease.

It was like an itch you couldn’t scratch, a nagging headache that wouldn’t go away. You were careful to avoid spending too much time in the light of Copia, weary of drawing his attention. He knew that you had pledged yourself to his predecessor, you could tell by the way he looked at you with an expression of pity. No, he would not take you as his prime mover. Besides, it was in poor taste to take the prime mover of a predecessor, and Copia was a man much concerned with his reputation.

You forced yourself onward, pushing the thought of prime movers and the past away from your mind as you entered the chapel. Many of your siblings were already sitting, chatting quietly to themselves. There was a small spot in the second to last row open, and you quickly scooted in, scanning the crowd for any sign of Imperator, who might have caught you sneaking in. Yet, among the crowd of habits and vestments, you don’t find her familiar form. More alarming, even Nihil seems to scan the crowd with a distant expression of worry as he sits next to the altar, oxygen tank rattling noisily.

You looked at the sibling beside you, a newly confirmed sister who seemed to beam in the dim candlelight, gripping the edges of the dark bench excitedly as she extended her neck to gaze above the sea of heads.

“Excuse me, Sister,” You asked, voice quiet and almost lost in the conversations around you.

The girl looked, bright eyes filled with curiosity as she smiled, “Yeah?”

“Have you seen Imperator this morning? It was strange not to see her in the hallways on the way here.”

The sister looked into the distance, mouth parting as she thought quietly. You couldn’t recall ever meeting the sibling before, but you were sure you’d seen her a handful of times in passing. She’d come back with Papa after the Imperatour, and though it had sent Imperator into a fit for several hours, she’d been allowed to stay and as far as you knew, had spent the time laying low. Papa seemed relatively indifferent towards her as he was you, but she seemed excited to see him.

“I don’t think I have,” She said after a moment, returning her eyes to yours, “maybe she’s out right now.”

It seemed too good to be true to imagine that Imperator would leave you alone after so long of breathing down your neck, but you had little time to ask the sister more as Papa stepped up to the stone altar, the energy in the chapel steadily rising.

“Sathanas, isn’t he beautiful, Sister,” She whispered from beside you.

You looked upon the face of Papa Emeritus the Fourth and tried to find something beautiful amongst the painted features. Sure, it was there, yet every man seemed so dull in comparison to Terzo, who wore his age with confidence and spoke with elegance and determination in every word. Perhaps to some Copia’s endearing nature was charming or beautiful, but to you it was nothing more than awkward.

Even as Papa, you couldn’t help but see the Cardinal who used to ride around the hallways on a tricycle. Whatever had happened to him in the wake of the tour, however, changed him in a way that made him almost unrecognizable. He seemed to shape shift with his ascension, shedding the persona of the cardinal and stepping into a new one.

“Long Live Papa Emeritus.”

The chant rang heavily in the smokey chapel as incense filled the room. The morning light was filling the room with a dreamlike wash of color as Copia stepped behind the altar, pausing briefly to gaze upon the stone statue of the Unholy One. There was a pleasant buzzing that seemed to run along the floor, the result of the upcoming hunter’s moon. Everything was stronger, magic more potent and every ritual ten times deadlier. It was both a night of celebration and one to fear, for an unguarded sibling could fall prey to an attack by the ghouls.

In a place where sin was celebrated and often encouraged, there had to be some sort of structure that kept people from doing whatever they wanted. At the start of Secondo’s reign, he’d made it clear that sin was encouraged so long as it wasn’t hurting anyone (at least without their consent). On a night such as a hunter’s moon, however, all bets were off as the ghoul’s became something more animalistic and dangerous.

It was not a night to be running around alone in the abbey. There were precautions in place, curfews carefully placed yet loosely followed. There would be no help, either. Tonight, Papa would take part in his own rituals with his prime mover, oblivious to the chaos that might erupt around him. Without Imperator either, you couldn’t help but gulp nervously as Copia began his sermon.

The haze of grief had made the last few months feel like sleepwalking. You stood in the midst of the fall without remembering the summer, or the spring. How long had it been since you were conscious of your day, took delight in the little things that once fascinated you, since you walked in Primo’s gardens and felt the warm sunshine against your cool skin? Life before felt so far away now; it seemed as though you only blinked and suddenly Copia had become Papa, and Terzo was entered into the catacombs beneath the ministry.

There was once a time you were permitted to lounge beside his tomb, but Imperator grew impatient and Copia, pliant as ever, had sternly yet softly asked you not to spend any more time in the catacombs. After a few weeks, you’d noticed the entrance to the third Emeritus’ brother’s tomb had been sealed with several padlocks. The message had been sent loud and clear, but it didn’t stop your longing, nor the festering rot that had begun to take hold in your gut.

In your sunless world you were wilting like a flower, crumbling at the seams as fresh roots tried pathetically to take hold of the new soil. There were no goodbyes, no grandiose ceremonies or period of mourning. It was true, you didn’t really take issue with Copia, but you found yourself locked in a persistent bitterness towards him that seemed to swell with each passing day. He might not have swung the sword that beheaded Terzo or killed the other brothers, but you held suspicions that he knew, or was at least slightly complicit.

It was a common rumor amongst the siblings around the ministry. Gossip was a commodity during the cold weather, the rapidly chilling air forcing you all inside. Cabin fever was inevitable, and every year the same rumors seemed to roll back around just as the seasons did. They ranged from harmless – such as one you’d heard last year about Primo tending to a secret flower garden, or that Secondo had a secret interest in romance novels (but if you ever asked, he would have denied it, or said that he was too busy to read.

Then, there were the darker ones, passed in hushed voices at cramped tables during lunch. They always left you looking over your shoulder as you left, paranoid of silly gossip. You’d heard at least a dozen times that the ghouls ate people – siblings that crossed them, or naïve newcomers who did not know, or that siblings who misbehaved enough were used as sacrifices. There was one, however, that ignited a fire in your body so intense it was though every ounce of your blood had reached a boiling point.

You first heard it last winter. A fierce snowstorm had kept you in for almost three weeks at that point, and even Imperator seemed to grow antsy with claustrophobia. The large ministry had seemed to shrink during your isolation, and there was hardly a moment of silence to be found amongst the many hallways. The sun had set hours ago, the night young as you gathered around a small fire in a common area with three other Sisters. You’d spent the last hour trading stories of various excursions with other siblings, the ghouls, and of course, Papa.

You tried not to grimace when they spoke in detail of Copia’s prowess, thankful for the inclusion in the late-night chat and desperate for the company. It wasn’t that you particularly enjoyed being around others, but you did miss the companionship. It was relaxing, a moment of respite amid a long winter. It wasn’t longer after that the conversation fell short, a brief moment of silence passing between the three of you before one of the girls, Catherine, spoke.

Her voice was soft as she stared at the crackling fire, light hair almost amber in the orange glow as her dark eyes watched the open flame dance.

“I heard this in the hallways, when I was helping Imperator clean her office late one evening,” She began, her voice wavering as she glanced over at you, “it was some of Terzo’s ghouls. I haven’t seen much of them these days, so I was surprised.”

You’d perked up at the mention of Terzo, your abrupt movement noticed by the other sisters as they casted a swift glance in your direction. It was true, since Terzo’s death that many of his ghouls had returned to hell, choosing to leave rather than follow Copia. Some had stayed, taking new names with pride despite joyously tormenting the cardinal just months prior.

“One of them said it was Copia who ordered the deaths of the previous Papas.” “Imperator would never allow that,” One of the other sister’s spoke, her voice riddled with disbelief. “No, not if it didn’t benefit her.”

Tense silence fell on the room as you all came to a mutual conclusion. At first the notion that the quiet cardinal could somehow be a murderer seemed impossible, but the Imperator – you’d never been able to quite figure her out. You could admit that she was motivated her own wants, but did her loyalty to Nihil keep her murdering his son, if it somehow helped her?

Your eyes found Copia’s, his intense gazed settle intently on you as he finished his sermon. You watched them narrow beneath his face paint, confusion flashing briefly on his features before returning to neutrality, returning to his spot behind the altar.

“It is an important night, my children. He has gifted us a beautiful moon, go forth into the evening and celebrate in sin. We shall bring about a new era to this ministry, and to this world, so it his will.”

Around you, siblings begin to stand as the chatter returns, the mass concluded. You quickly tried to emerge yourself into the crowd, desperate to escape Copia’s watchful eyes as they followed you. It was though he had sensed your thoughts from across the chapel, your stomach twisting as siblings crowded around the exit. You couldn’t escape him fast enough, the echo of his footsteps followed by the excited murmurs sending your heart into a frenzy.

“Sister Trinity,” Copia’s smooth voice glided across the crowded like the wind did, sweeping over the chaos and capturing the attention of the majority of the crowd.

It was the moment people had been waiting for – his chosen prime mover. There’s a sigh of disappointment amongst some of the other siblings as the chosen sister stepped forward, her face bright and smile wide as she approached Papa. His attention shifted to her, eyes finally leaving yours. You took advantage of the distracted bodies around you, slipping between them and out into the nearly empty hallways outside the chapel. The moment you crossed the threshold it was hold as though a weight lifted from your chest, and you heaved in a deep breath, sucking the air in through your nose and holding it for a moment, willing your racing heart to slow.

You were thankful, at least, since Copia’s selection of a prime mover meant he had less time to worry about you. You weren’t used to being watched so intently by him, having grown used to the subtle coldness you attributed to your relationship with the youngest brother. Feeling his eyes on you throughout the sermon only heightened the unease you felt when you first stepped out of your room.

Against your better judgement, you let yourself slip back into thought, heading back towards your room to prepare for your duties. The sun had risen higher in the sky, the colors of the stained glass brighter against the ministry floor as you pondered the worst. You were prone to overthinking, which Terzo had tried desperately to free you of. Even his kindest words and softest touches could not drive out the worry that had been steadily nagging at you.

It'd been years since he left you now, and you haven’t gotten any closer to figuring out what he meant, or why he wanted you to protect that old box so badly. You’d found it one evening after Copia had left for tour, the Imperator away to see the cardinal off at the start of the tour. You’d taken advantage of the solitude and slipped into the chapel late one night, quickly locating the loose floorboard.

It was locked and, just as his tomb, presumably enchanted with magic to keep the wrong person from trying to pry it open. It was clear to you upon first looking at it that it wasn’t something you were going to be open, so you quickly replaced the floorboard and cradled the box in your arms in a blanket as you returned to your room. For a while, the secrets of it had enchanted you, allowing the hope of opening it one day to motivate you in the days following his death.

As the months passed on, you’d steadily shoved it into the back of your mind, nestling it safely beneath the floorboards under your bed. Every sibling had their own hiding place, most known to the Imperator but she’d foolishly believed she found your ages ago. Not even your closest friends knew about the box, quietly under your floor. Terzo trusted you to keep it safe, specifically from Copia, Imperator, and Nihil. What it contained that he wanted to hide from them so badly was beyond you. Sometimes you wondered why he had not trusted such a task to one of his ghouls, who had followed him since the day he became Papa. You never had time to ask him, of course, before he died.

You entered your room and immediately crawled under the bed to retrieve the item, a thin layer of dust and dirt covering the surface that you quickly brushed away. There was a barely noticeable vibration coming from it, as if coming to life in the warmth of your palms. It was the only thing you truly had left of him, the only thing that Copia did not know about.

You’ve kept it safe all this time, but the wait was starting to weigh in you, hope rapidly dwindling as you came upon another arduous winter. What other option was there, however?

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nerves-nebula · 1 year

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Ah, hidden city, brain bad moment lol.

also like if her brothers decide to take action to keep Leo away from Splinter, where exactly would they get the training? I can't imagine any of the others exactly interested in working on skills and since you said they might only develop their ninpo in self-defense or attacking Splinter, with no contact with the man putting them in danger I'm not sure they would discover their powers... However, I could see it being a situation where they start working on it again, maybe with a rabbit or something else, they start constant attacks on Splinter's base and wear Leo down while they develop their powers. with how light of a sleeper Leo is I can't see them just up and nabbing her but if she were extremely tired from fighting and waking up from other times they try to nab her before remembering or recognizing how light a sleeper she is...

sorry about the alternate timeline asks,

My own fear of abandonment has made me grow claws and sharper teeth and sink them deep into this timeline

no need to apologize I LOVE to rant and rave!

RIGHT so here's the thing: they'd all actually have stronger Ninpo (except Leo) because they'd get closer to each other. they wouldnt be as well trained or sharply honed or as full of vitriol and anger as Leo, BUT!!! they wouldn't be defenseless. I think they'd still have some kind of training regimen, but a more makeshift one they made up suited to their needs as runaways.

also, they might go live with Big Mama ? Like I'm not sure but at the point where they were gonna run away, Donnie was already doing business with her, so I imagine it wouldn't be too much of a leap for him to go to her with his brothers and be like,, I'll make u more tech if u let me live here and my brothers can even fight in the arena sometimes! So she'd have them train them, and they'd fight, but it wouldn't be as bad as splinter and they'd have relative freedom in their down time.

I have NO IDEA how they'd grab Leo, tbh. she's like a feral animal, they'd probably have to shoot her with a tranquilizer or something.

i should prolly make a tag for this timeline thingy if I'm gonna keep talkin about it

#nnstuff #ask #asks are sweethearts #teenage mutant neglected turtles #tmnt leo

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doublejango · 8 months

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RP blog for Blitz from Helluva Boss, with other characters by request only. Please take a moment to check out my Rules & About, which you can find below the cut or by accessing my blog on desktop (which is where you can also find my Thread Tracker!).

Quick note: It is okay to reblog anything but RPs from me. Memes? Go for it, you don't have to send me anything and you don't have to reblog from the source. Art? Same deal. You like an Ask that I answered and you want to reblog it? Fine by me. Dash commentary? Sure! And tbh I wouldn't mind you reblogging RPs, but most of my partners don't want RPs reblogged. So if it looks like a roleplay post between two people, please leave it alone and don't reblog <3

If you're an Interview with the Vampire blog and wondering why this random demon account followed you, it's because I have an Armand side-blog. He's hidden over at @thatneverblooms.

I only want to write with people who are over eighteen. The older the better tbh. I’m in my thirties, so if you are too, that would be great! But as long as you’re over eighteen, we’re good. MINORS, DO NOT INTERACT. Do not follow me, send asks, anything at all, if you're under eighteen. This is not open to negotiation. My blog is not a safe space for minors.

I try to remember to tag for content that is likely triggering. I’ll use the tags example tw or example cw for those. I don’t anticipate there being a whole lot of that on my blog, but just in case.

I will always try to send in a password, but if I followed you without sending one? Please give me the benefit of the doubt. I always read rules first, before I even check out the person’s writing.

About following… please don’t be angry if I don’t follow you back. I will try to follow most people back, but if it really doesn’t look like we will mesh, whether because our writing styles or our rules clash, then I will respectfully stay away. On that note though, if your rules are convoluted to access, if they’re physically too difficult to read, et cetera, I also won’t follow. Plain text and readily accessible pages & links are gold, guys. Low contrast dark-font-on-black-background is aesthetic, but I am definitely one of those people who can’t read it.

Activity: I am very slow. Very, very slow. But I generally don’t lose things, so please trust that I haven’t lost interest in our thread. If you want to remind me about it once, that’s totally cool! But please, do not push and push and push at me, asking over and over if I am still interested, and don’t try to guilt-trip me. I’ll tolerate that a little bit, because I know we all have different levels of social skills on here, but once it goes beyond being just a little pressure… I might just have to nope out entirely.

I respect Dead Dove Do Not Eat and will fight for people’s rights to write it. I will always tag with what applies, either NSFT (as in Not Safe for Tumblr) or DDDNE. I don’t necessarily write a lot of DDDNE, but I am willing to, and I will not judge you if that’s something you enjoy. I have some personal hard limits for it (absolutely NO minors EVER, no animals, to name some of them) that I am willing to discuss if we start going down that path, and will gladly hear yours! <3 I don’t really want to write a lot of smut on the dash, would prefer that if we’re going to do that, we both use a read-more? But I am open to it if it feels like it becomes important for our characters.

If you have a lot of sideblogs, I probably won't follow them until we are writing on them <3 I struggle when I don't readily know who is who, and writing a thread is the best way for my goldfish brain to remember.

I will unfollow if you show no desire to interact. If there's just no blog interaction at all, I'll unfollow. You're still welcome to reach out, and I might refollow, but I try to keep my dash down to a more community-vibe-y level <3

And on a last note, aggressive virtue signaling doesn’t fly with me. If you need to post about how people are nasty for liking fictional, legal, not real content? You and I are not going to get along. It’s a short trip between the Purity Police and censorship/fascism imo, so I will avoid people who participate in that kind of culture like the plague.

#shut up dj ooc

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batrogers · 17 days

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So -- barring the idea I have for the Doll % Runs -- my Doll fic series is finally complete, as I'd first imagined it to be.

Series Summary:

A series in which, upon leaving the Dollmaker she made a very generous gift to Hyrule: one doll for each of his friends, with the caveat he must be the one holding it for it to activate, and he must be near them. He hopes he never has to use one. Here are all the times he might be forced to explain.

Ratings range from T to E.

Universally Temporary Major Character Death fics, with frequent Graphic Depictions of Violence (although some deaths are less graphic, less violent, or a different kind of violent.)

Fun with some stats, because I wanted to collect them for me:

Brief summary: most fics in the series hover around 1:6 or 1:7 ratio, probably because of the self-selection by means of being Linked Universe fics (which often average closer to a 1:10 ratio) and being self-selecting by means of the MCD/Graphic Violence archive warnings and similar tags (eg. beheading, eaten alive, etc.)

The highest word count is Dog Days, at 4,070 words.

The lowest word count is Perfection, at 1,950 words.

The first fic ("The Dollmaker" was published in October last year, and the most recent was finished twelve hours ago (September 3rd).

More detail about ratios and hits and commentary on why I think that is under the cut. But thank you all who have enjoyed this series!

The Dollmaker is the oldest fic in the series, published Oct 18th, 2023. It's at a 1:8 kudos-to-hits ratio, with over 700 hits.

Dark Despair's Corroding Hand (Time's doll fic) is next, published Apr 8, 2024, and is at a 1:7 kudos-to-hits ratio, with over 300 hits (but it has some interesting tags and an E rating, so can't blame y'all.)

Where is my Harmony (Legend's doll fic) was published Jun 13, and is at a 1:6 ratio, and is a few more hits over 300 than Dark Despair -- but this one's only rated M and much less graphic.

Dog Days (Twilight's doll fic) was published Father's Day (Jun 16th) because I'm an asshole. It has a 1:8 kudos ratio and barely over 300 hits, probably because it's intensely political and not the kind of Twilight-and-Time vibe most of the fandom likes.

It Hungers Still (Wind's doll fic) was published July 1st, and is at a 1:6 ratio because some tags are VERY self-selecting for an audience and oh boy is this one. It's also rated E. Over 200 hits.

Good Is Not Nice (Warriors' doll fic) was also published July 1st, and is at a (slightly higher = 5.6 vs 5.9) 1:6 kudos ratio too because tbh these two fics -- for all the ratings lower -- are equally violent in very different ways.

Hidden Ruin (Sky's doll fic) was published July 11th, and is at a 1:6 ratio too. It has just under 200 hits.

Perfection (Wild's doll fic) was published July 16th, and is at a 1:9 ratio, proving that fandom favouritism is not always in a story's favour LOL. Just over 400 hits, which wildly outpaces the others and yet that has likely pushed down the ratio in itself.

Blue and White and Gone (Four's doll fic) was published Jul 30th, and is at a 1:7 ratio, with just under 200 hits. (Which makes sense given how recent these last are.)

And, published twelve hours ago, Will You Be There (Hyrule's doll fic) is at a 1:5 ratio and 60 hits.

#Linked Universe fanfic #LU fanfic #Zelda II Doll Fics #Doll Fics #Zelda Doll Fics #Temporary Character Death #AO3 series #my writing #The Dollmaker #Zelda fanfic

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anxiety-thyme · 1 year

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First Friday fic night is here again!

For a refresher you can see what this is about here. Last month was Snow White With the Red Hair .

In last month's poll you degenerates voted for Real Slow Burn - 100k words or more. I should've known. Since we are focused on fic type we are going to hit a few different fandoms.

Voting for next month's topic at the end!

I had a couple of requirements for myself when choosing fics this month otherwise I wouldn't have known where to start and the list would be too long. It's already really long tbh.

The 100K word count had to be for the single fic - not for a series.

The wordcount had to actually be above 100k. No cheating with those 98K fics.

The ship had to be a main part of the story, not an afterthought.

No more than two fics per fandom.

I have to have read it more than once. <- I'm aware of what this says about me. I'm the degenerate actually.

If you've read some of the fics I've posted previously you might have picked up on the very specific vibe in most of what I recommend. Yes, I am just now realizing it and no I don't want to talk about it. Yes maybe a hug wouldn't hurt. We actually have a few that won't leave you emotionally damaged this month!

I thought I'd start with some fandoms we haven't hit yet. As always mind the tags. There is definitely smut.

My Hero Academia

Pairing: Todoroki/Bakugou I'll admit, I was unsure whether to include any MHA since the fandom can be A. Lot. especially when ships are involved. That said, I live in my own little corner of the internet and there are some phenomenal writers hidden away if you go look for it.

The lights are all out (its a big big city), by shaekspeares

"Izuku leaves for America for six months; Shouto fights his way into the Top 5 Hero Rank, takes out Godzilla, reconnects with a criminal, adopts a cat, and has several belated emotional crises (not necessarily in that order). He might also be in love with Bakugou, but that's another problem altogether.

Izuku probably shouldn't leave him to his own devices anymore."

I enjoy everything shaekspeares writes in the fandom. Their prose is beautiful and their work feels fully rested within the universe while telling compelling and emotional stories.

Candy Canes and Christmas Crackers, by bigdorkenergy

“So….your huge family somehow all think that you have a long term boyfriend and are insisting that you bring him to your week long Christmas family reunion?” Despite his efforts the end of his question raised in pitch as Kirishma swallowed down a giggle.

“How does that even happen?” Kaminari added popping some of the hashbrowns Bakugou made into his mouth.

OR your classic holiday romcom where Bakugou needs a fake boyfriend to bring home for Christmas and Todoroki is willing to take that bullet."

I'm not big on Christmas fics. Not for any particular reason I don't think? But, I am a big sucker for fake dating fics. This is adorable and so pure as these two do the whole friends to lovers thing.

Okay. Are you ready for this?

BBC Sherlock

(I know, right?? What is this 2012??)

Pairing: Sherlock/Watson

Performance In a Leading Role, by Mad_Lori

"Sherlock Holmes is an Oscar winner in the midst of a career slump. John Watson is an Everyman actor trapped in the rom-com ghetto. When they are cast as a gay couple in a new independent drama, will they surprise each other? Will their on-screen romance make its way into the real world?"

I know I've said this a few times, but I don't read a lot of true AUs but of course there are always exceptions. This is done so well that I don't think you have to be in the fandom or know anything about the characters at all and you would still enjoy it. The slow build from distain to love is really well done.

Community

Paring: Annie/Jeff (don't @me) I know Community isn't everyone's thing but there is some great fic out there just sayin'

It's Always Open Season on Princesses, Elsiesnuffin

"Annie is given the opportunity to do some travelling over the summer after her second year at Greendale."

This is very Roman Holiday-esque. It's a fun romp through Italy while Jeff figures his shit out. Jeff figuring his shit out is my bias. Also, is that a fanfiction.net link I see? 👀

Attack on Titan

pairing: Erwin/Levi

Small Mercies, by Calacreda

"Levi misses Erwin in the margin between sleeping and waking. He thinks about Erwin when he steps out of a hot bath into cold air. He imagines Erwin’s new life, his new vocation, his new family, when the seasons change, or when he blows the candles out, or now, as the sun sets. The only space he does so is a space of a threshold. It does not feel good or bad. It does not feel happy or sad. Levi realises now, however, that this is not the same as it feeling nothing."

Six years after the War ends and they part ways, Levi finds himself at Erwin's door again."

I cannot express how beautiful this is. I've read it so many times and I still cry each time. Levi feels so raw and real as someone who has never really known family and doesn't have the words to put to what he wants and how he feels.

Tiny Anthem, by onthearrow

"Levi swore to Erwin he would kill the Beast Titan. But how can he follow such an order when it's Erwin himself he pulls from its nape?"

Okay, imagine that you have spent years recovering from the grief of losing someone you loved, healing from a toxic relationship, learning to be comfortable in your skin, taking on a role you never asked for and fighting to create a space for yourself in the world. Got it? Now imagine the person you were grieving turns out to not be dead. And also, they don't know who you are. Oh and they have been brainwashed by the enemy. That feels good, right?

I am embarrassed by how many times I've read this. Every time a new chapter came out I would start from the beginning again. I finally promised myself 5 chapters ago that I wasn't allowed to start all over from the beginning until the final chapter comes out. It should be soooon.

Teen Wolf

pairing: Stiles/Derek

Home, by TheTypeWriterGirl

"January seventh. Seven days since the start of 2015, and seven days since his father’s death.

The bastard, he thinks bitterly. The past year Derek Hale had made it blatantly obvious that he hated his scrawny guts, taking every given opportunity to shove him up against a wall, growl threats in his ears and roll his eyes whenever he stepped into the room, muttering some snide comment about how spastic or idiotic he was.

So why did he fucking volunteer to take him in?"

Here is the thing. Not only is this fantastic, but the companion piece that is about Derek and Stiles' parents is also good. I didn't think I'd be able to read a fic about parents who are almost non-existent in the show without the characters from the show in it. I did here and I couldn't put it down.

The Hollow Moon, by thepsychicclam

"It's the summer after Stiles' first year of college, and he's working a crappy job and dealing with nightmares and anxiety - but he's okay, he swears. He makes it through most days without too much trouble. Then, a certain werewolf comes back into town. Which Stiles doesn't care about, nope, not at all.

After two and a half years, Derek returns to Beacon Hills with his small Pack. Though he tried to move on, something just kept drawing him back to Beacon Hills, he's just not sure what. Now, he figures he can start building something like a life - but he keeps getting distracted by Stiles Stilinski of all people."

I know this makes me awful but I'm a sucker for post Nogitsune Stiles. Nightmares? Yes. Disassociation from reality? Bring it. Add in a dash of Derek recognizing what he's going through and I'm there.

There are two fandoms missing that I would have loved to include however:

Snow White With the Red Hair: There are only 2 100+ Obiyuki fics on AO3 so they didn't feel in the spirit of this month's recommendations.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Let's be real most of what I have bookmarked is just straight up porn and not terribly long. That said, there is one really good story that I love but when I went back and looked at the word count turns out it is only like 50K words?

Tell me how much you like them on a scale of Abba to shoulder cat!

Do you like looking at fics by themes or do you prefer by fandom? Let me know.

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