darkclaw

[hereforthehitsbaby]

Silver Lining | Worst!Logan Howlett x F!Reader

Synopsis: Logan was too familiar with depressive episodes, spending years stuck in his own. He never wanted you to feel the way he did, he wanted to take your pain away. 

Warnings: ANGST, like no joke this is just straight up angst/whump with a somewhat happy ending, not character angst but reader angst – or at least that is what I think it would classify as?, mentions of mania, mentions of mental illness, reader screams at everyone and tries hard to make people hate her because she thinks she deserves it, mentions of depression, reader has a depressive episode, crying, self-doubt, mentions of unavailing oneself, language,

Rating: M

Word Count: 3.9K

Author’s Note: You know, at times when there are things you cannot tell anyone about, you write. This happened to be that moment for me. Also I know I said this was going to be angsty but I don't think I did the angst justice enough. I'm not used to writing it so I apologize if it's not full blown whump.

Tagging(?): @battermyheart @plagued-kitty @cxrrodedcoffin @babygorewhore @strangererotica

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“I fucking hate you, leave me alone!” You scream at your apartment door, hearing Wade on the other end banging harder. You didn’t mean any of the words, you wanted to take them all back, you wanted to say you’re sorry and move on. Your hands reach out to tangle in your hair, pulling roughly at the root. Growls of agony and pain tear from your throat as you drop to your knees on the plush carpet, rocking back and forth. “Let me go, please let me go!” None of your words made sense, they felt foreign on your tongue as the pounding got louder, as the screams turned sour. The world faded to black as your head hit the carpet, your throat raw – straining against your sorrows. Footsteps echoed like snow on a winter’s night; The silence was not comforting. Bloodied fists fell beside your face, and Laura’s soft words lulled you to sleep. “We will be here when you’re ready. Please, take care of yourself.”

No one expected that a day full of laughing and bonding would take a hard left turn. No one knew what hid beneath your surface, they never realized how bad it was getting. All they saw was smiles and sunshine radiating off of you, never knowing they were caused by pain. You thought you were getting better, that you weren’t faking it this time – unfortunately your brain never got the memo. None of your words held any meaning; You knew that but you were worried your friends might not. Then again, day one you did tell Wade to not get attached – that was for his own sake when one day you were no longer here. It was an unspoken song in your head – it never rang true but certain times felt like it would, that it may.

Peter’s party was supposed to be fun, celebrating his anniversary of a year with B-15. A full day planned by Wade and Laura. Logan and you were made to keep them both busy for a while, while Al complained about the constant smell of latex balloons. A day you had been looking forward to for weeks; Spending time with Logan while also not feeling pressured into anything. Wade’s constant comments about you two shacking up held some tension between the two of you, sometimes making it awkward to even say hi to him. But this was supposed to be a turning point for the best, the manic episodes a thing of the past. You were finally healing, so you thought. Alas nothing stays the same forever; A little chaos thrown into a beautiful painting can sometimes turn the colors muddy.

Thirteen days it has been since you left your apartment, almost a full two weeks since you spoke to anyone. Text messages gone unanswered, calls gone silent. Knocks at the door becoming few and far in between as the days grew longer. The care packages dwindling down to one every other day than ever four hours. They did care, it wasn’t a bullshit excuse your mind made up, deep down you fucking knew and yet? It didn’t feel right. It was foreign of a concept; A group of people looking out for you because they care. You had been in with every wrong group possible that it ruined any singular chance of trusting their actions. Happy endings were not in your card, so you had convinced yourself. Episodes like this became your only friend, constantly reliving the worst moments over and over until you couldn’t cry anymore. The utter pain on Wade’s face as he cried for you, as Laura tried to help you, as Al reassured you, as Logan held you, were too much to constantly see. The distance was necessary. But never, never would they give up on you.

Over the last two weeks Wade has come by and sat outside your door, recounting missions and how they went to reading the newest Booktok craze in graphic detail, never spearing a moment to see if he could hear you laugh. Instead all he heard was sobs, self-hatred, and pain. It gave you the time to process your rage, to understand it cannot be pointed towards others who were only trying to help, to figure out a way to explain how sorry you are. But you never needed to, because Logan did – and they made sure they let you know. Out of everyone, Logan was rooting for you the most. Looking out for you, making sure no one came to disturb you when he heard your wails of sorrow, letting you feel rather than cause any discomfort. It killed him silently to hear you like this, not to be able to hold you through it, he wanted to do so much more.

Every text that you stomached to read from Logan was always reassuring, never condescending or jokey. Between small quotes he heard over his life of resilience to funny memes he stole from Wade, he was your cheerleader in every way. It helped you to know, even if you didn’t respond. It gave you the confidence to finally get up and take a deep breath, to understand what you were going to say. That was your plan for today and nothing was going to stop you. As soon as you realized in the early afternoon, you spent the rest of the time cleaning up your apartment, taking a shower, and getting your best comfy clothes on to have a sit down chat with everyone. It felt like everything was going to be okay – you felt like you had control over your emotions; This time it would be easy to convey what sparked your episode. Taking a deep breath you opened your apartment door as walked across the hall to Wade’s, keeping your hand steady as you knocked.

The controlled, hard thuds rang through your wrist as you heard a groan come from the other side, inaudible mumbles coming from Althea. A small smirk played across your lips as you heard her rambles, knowing how feisty the older woman is. The door to Wade’s apartment opened quickly as she stood facing you. Seeing Al after a few weeks of going MIA made your throat dry up, only hearing her words of reassurance as you had a breakdown. Instead of speaking you stared at the woman, fingers slightly trembling. Al let out a sad breath, her shoulders slumping slightly. ‘Oh honey, come on in.” How she knew that it was you wasn’t even a question in your mind, just her gentle nature of feeling you made your eyes misty. Al left a decent gap between her and the door as you crossed over the threshold, staring into the comfortable space.

You could tell that Wade and Laura weren’t around, considering how the pull-out mattress wasn’t out still and Wade’s door was wide open. But you knew he was here. As Al closed the door behind the two of you, the third door of the right opened quickly, the wood creaking against the hinges. Standing in the doorway with warm eyes and a stoic stance was Logan, staring at you like he was in disbelief. He didn’t move, he didn’t blink, instead he kept his eyes on your face. Your hair was tucked behind your ears and away from your features; Logan’s eyes trailed over each part with a soft smile on his lips, relief coursing through his veins. “How are you doing?” he asked calmly, not moving a muscle as he gauged your response. The tranquil state you were previously in started to crumble at those four words, your eyes growing tight and blurry as you stared into Logan’s hazel eyes. Your fingers began to shake as your heart raced, a sob threatening to tear from your throat without warning. All you could do was shake your head at Logan’s question, blinking your tears away. Without a thought, you moved fast into Logan as you wrapped your arms around him, pressing your face into his flannel. Everything you had been holding onto for two weeks was already coming out; The dame officially breaking as he held you. “I got you, sshh – you’re okay,” Logan responded as he rubbed your back, tightening his hold on you as you cried.

Logan slowly shuffled you backwards into his bedroom, letting the heavy door shut on its own as he held you the entire way. Due to how lost you were in his sweet embrace, you didn’t realize that you were now in Logan’s room or better yet, laying with him on his bed. Positioning you to face him, Logan never let you go as he pulled you close to him, letting your face press into his neck as he pulled the comforter over the two of you. Short, sweet hums left his lips as he rested his cheek against the top of your head, letting your subconsciously link his thick legs with yours. “I’m proud of you for coming over, you know that?” Those words warmed your chest as you felt your body shiver, the praise meaning everything to you. Pushing your face deeper against the crook of Logan’s neck, you belted out a wail as you gripped his shirt, just knowing it was starting to soak with the runoff of your tears. You shook your head against his chest, slightly digging your nails through his shirt.

Over the last year you watched Logan transform from gruff and rugged emotionally to happy and prideful. Though that hardened shell of his would never leave, he seemed to be a lot lighter mentally. After he became the new anchor being, new resident of Earth-10005, and the new friend of Wade, which all still was confusing to your human brain, he realized that life was so much more than reliving your past – and learning to move forward from it. It was a slow journey for him but, he found solace in the understanding and knowing. Which is why he didn’t hesitate to grab you and pull you close, knowing this only mirrored what you did for him all those months ago. Being on the receiving end of it felt bizarre for you, but it felt like home. You didn’t want to believe it, but it was true. “You shouldn’t,” a low whispered escaped through your sob as Logan trailed his fingers over your back, drawing small shapes against your hoodie.

“But I am, it’s a big first step.” It was true in a way, the first step was always the acknowledgement. Just leaving your apartment was a great first attempt, and now you were really making strides. “We love you so much, I love you, sweetheart.” Hearing Logan say that caused your heart to clench; The game of cat and mouse of feelings you two have been ping-ponging over the last year reached its peak quickly during this whole time, realizing you two were in silent cahoots – there never needed to be a talk about labels when it happened to naturally. Neither one of you would admit it but, you were together way before any of this went down. Swallowing down the smartass retort wanting to slip off your tongue, you sank your nails a bit deeper into his shirt, feeling his hiss come out. “Don’t say shit you don’t mean, Lo. Do you know how to love?”

You hated yourself for those words, knowing you didn’t mean it but let it go anyways. A typical defense tactic to push people away. Logan knew it too which is why he never responded, only snickered at your persistence. He knew exactly how you would react, knowing from your past conversations about your previous episodes. Running his beard across the side of your cheek, Logan nodded against your face as he spoke, “I love Wade. I love Laura. I love Al. And most importantly, I love you.” Hearing him say again that he loved you should’ve been one of the happiest moments, knowing you both were making great strides in your relationship, yet it left a burning hole of lies in your chest. You scoff at Logan’s declaration, a fresh wave of warm tears cascading down your cheeks as you push your face further into his burly chest. You tried so hard to mask your cry with a cough but, Logan knew better. The words holding their true meaning, the truth snaking its way through your brain. Shaking your head against his pecs, you inhale a deeply, smelling his shower gel and natural musk flooding your nose. “You don’t love me, you barely know me.”

Logan smiles softly above you, trying not to roll his eyes at your clear avoidance of the talk you were about to have. He found your stubbornness endearing, seeing a bit of himself within you. He was the same way after all, never acknowledging or wanting to accept but always question, always avoid. Hiding and not accepting the truth was easier than healing at times. Logan placed his lips to the top of your head as he kisses it gently, rubbing his large hand up and down your back. He never let his lips pull back your head as you let out his words, wanting the warmth of his breath to sink in, hoping that would help you to understand the truth over the lies your mind was telling. “Then give me a chance to.” It slipped out between his lips so naturally you had no time to adjust, hitting you like a ton of bricks.

You stop in the moment; Your breathing, your crying, your whole body. Logan’s words sank deep within your soul, causing a bloom of emotion to burst within your chest. The truth was burning your nerves one by one, every fiber alight and refusing to be put out with your self-doubt. Every stage of grief you could possibly feel ran through your with cold fingers, awakening you for what felt like centuries. Trembling hands grip tighter at his flannel tighter, pulling him close and pushing him away at the same time. Your brows furrow as you scan the darkness within, trying to find a reason why he shouldn’t. All you could find was positive after positive with Logan, remembering how he tried to do the same to you and you refused to give up on him. Now it was your turn, but stepping into the unknown scared you more than anything else. Opening yourself up to him, was terrifying. “Don’t push me away, please.” Logan whispered into your hairline, feeling his own soul hurt for you. 

“That’s all I know how to do.” It wasn’t a lie persay, but it wasn’t the whole truth. You never pushed away the gang, not ever. Anytime you were mildly upset you made sure to be with them, and they stayed with you through it all. Even the times you got annoyed with them, you never gave up on that friendship. You knew deep down you’d never push them away, in fact it was funny to you how you even thought that. As Wade had one said, we are like herpes – we never leave, sweet cheeks. “Let me help you break that cycle.” You wanted to believe Logan, trust his words and actions of the man you love. But it was fear inducing to do so, because every what if made its way out of the wood works, chiming in their two cents. What if he leaves you? What if he moves on? What if he is saying this just to make you happy? What if he doesn’t mean it? What if he just feels sorry for you?

The offer to help you break the cycle was what set you off, tearing yourself away from Logan. Sitting up roughly on his bed, you bunched the comforter down at your hips, placing your head in your hands. The fresh wave of tears was threatening to spill over as you shook your head, your knees trembling with every inhale. “What if it can’t be broken, Logan?” You pan your eyes up at him, your bottom lip quivering. “What if that’s all I’m ever going to be destined for? Healing others while I hurt myself. I don’t know if I can be fixed, or changed or-“ Logan abruptly stopped your spiel as he reached for you, holding your face within his hands. The gentle flecks of golds and emeralds swimming in his irises caused your heart to flutter, his natural beauty causing your cheeks to warm. He stared at you like a man in love, needing you to know just how precious you are.

“I said the same thing about myself, for fucking years. I refused to believe I could be happy, in a better place mentally, I didn’t want to be happy. I wanted to hurt, knowing what I did to cause pain to others. I believed I deserved it. Not a day goes by where I sometimes slip into my old routine. But I remember that people do appreciate me, they do love me - even if I don’t want to believe it.” You noticed how Logan wasn’t aware he was crying with you, his tears slowly falling from the inner corner of his eyes as he spoke. The hold he had on your face growing harder, not in a painful way but in a comforting one. Every word he spoke he wanted to sink in, to show you if it wasn’t the end for him – it wasn’t for you either. “But-“ you chimed, trying to find a reasoning but coming up short. “No buts, just feel. What do you want, sweetheart?”

The question held a lot of meaning, a lot of endless possibilities that you weren’t able to explore in your lifetime. For the first time in so long, you felt like you finally had a choice over your own decisions, not your mental health. The way you stared at Logan, with admiration and hesitance caused his heart rate to speed up, his palms growing clammy at what you may say. He could smell your fear, hear your heart pumping at an abnormal rate. Placing his wide palm against your calf, he rubbed over your leggings with languid strokes, helping to coax your answer out. The feelings finally setting in, everything hitting its peak, knowing you were not going to be hitting rock bottom again. “I want to be happy.” It didn’t sound real coming from your mouth, foreign against your tongue as Logan painted his face with a slow smile, admiring your strength and truth to wanting to be happy, instead of staying in that darkened space.

“Louder, darlin.” Logan coaxed with a gentle smile, pressing his lips to your temple as he took a deep inhale. He liked to believe that was his way of ridding you of this pain, inhaling it so he could hold onto it – so you could feel at peace. A small grin made its way upon your lips as you closed your eyes, sinking into his touch deeper. His arms came to hold you against his chest, peppering kisses along the left side of your face as you exhaled. “I want to be happy, Logan.” This time it felt real, felt right coming from you. Your tears dried up quickly, the sticky residue still on your cheeks as you started to get back on your metaphorical feet. His kisses caused your stomach to burn with love and passion. Grabbing at his right hand, you pulled it to your lips as you kissed over where his claws would come out, showing him how even something so deadly deserves care.

“Give yourself permission to.” Logan smiles genuinely as he cups your cheek, running the pad of his thumb over your skin. Reveling in his touch was the only thing you could do, watching him with hearts in your eyes as you smiled. Having someone like Logan be so patient with you, caring for you like no one before has, made you feel safe. It made you feel like things were really going to get better, and now they were. He was right, you needed to give yourself over to your own happiness, and welcome it in. It was a scary thing to adjust to but, you deserved it. The torment you had been putting yourself through, dealing with crisis after crisis and believing every mean word to be true, you deserved this much needed break and acceptance. Logan pressed his forehead against yours as he closed his eyes, wanting you to take in every word deep within your soul. “I’ll be with you, every step of the way. I won’t give up on you.” 

That was all you needed for the tears to start again, this time though – they were different. They were sweet this time around, not sour and hateful like earlier. This time they were cool to the touch, not scalding hot. Hearing the love of your life say that, meant the world was healing. You were silently giving yourself over to Logan fully, letting him help you instead of shutting him out. Welcoming him in during your time of need was what the world gave you, and you were never going to take it for granted. Sighing out into his touch, you sniffed back a few tears as you cleared your throat, knowing another cry would slip out sooner. “No one’s ever told me that.”

It broke Logan’s heart to hear that, knowing people gave up on you too easily during your time of need. He couldn’t bear the thought of you alone in the world, dealing with the demons on your own; He needed you to know he would make sure you never fell down that path again. Leaning into you, Logan pressed his plush lips against yours, letting the slow hum of the central air drown out the loud voices in his mind. Just like that the world stood still, in this moment it was just you and Logan – no one else, no other thing. Time stopped to let you both take this all in, to realize two souls were converging into one, and the path ahead was twisting together for the two of you. The soft nature of the kiss felt like it could heal all of your wounds, and deep down you believed that it did. Logan was stitching together every slice in your being, healing those jagged scars, stitching your soul into one again. “Good thing I’m not no one,” Logan smiled against your lips, stealing a few sweet kisses as he nudging his nose to yours, making you look up at him. “I’m someone to you.”

[ambrosiagoldfish]

Adam x third spouse part 3 I’m begging pookie ❤️

like a time skip to when Charlie appeared and proposed the idea

Benifit of the doubt Pt.4

Adam x 3rd Spouse! Reader

Warnings: General Adam TW’s, a little bit sad for a moment but it’s ok. Gn! Reader! honestly that’s about it I think?? Wow this is the first time it’s been this short in this series.

Part 1. Part 2. Part 3.

Request Box: Open

Word Count: 4617~

A/n: So… it’s been almost 2 months… whoops. In all seriousness though I’m sorry it’s been so long. I’ve just not been in the mood to write and a lot of stuff has been happening (which is finally over) and I’m glad I could finally post this. I was also, if I’m honest, nervous to post this, cause I’m not sure if everyone’s ready for the direction of the story. But I have made it clear that I wanted to do a time skip to the show at somepoint and decided to do it now! If you enjoy this, please let me know cause I’m really nervous about (Not my words of affirmation love language coming out-) ALSO to the requester, I know you said part 3, but I used it for part 4. I got your request as I was making part 3 soooo my bad. Hope you don’t mind tho <3 this will be the last part before the angsty finale (and maybe an epilogue)

Reblogs are always appreciated!

Anyways this was NOT beta read unfortunately, I tried to get as many errors out during the writing process so hopefully it’s fine. Also, there’s probably some words I might have wanted to italicize or make bold that aren’t, but I’m too tired to care honestly.

Tags: @tired-of-life-86 @nervoussystemss @qopia @lovelyemily @hcneyiced @v3r41ynn @ghostdoodlen @nxptvne-13 @ximenavc-che @edgyfluff @ericityyy @diffidentphantom @faimmm @slasher-whore69 @1-randomized @ozzersauce @fanlovedlt @alientee (if I forgot someone or you want to be added just tell me !!)

Days turned to weeks, to months, to years. Until eventually an eon had passed. An entirety filled to the brim with an indescribable happiness and love, threatening to spill over at any given moment. You loved Adam and Adam loved you.

To say it was all happiness would be a lie, there were some moments of sadness and pain, but all relationships were like that, even ones that lasted for eternity. You both always bounced back, apologize and moved on with a stronger bond than before. And you loved every second of it.

A lot has changed in these last few eons. Adam formed a band and is now the most popular guitarist in all of heaven. You both made new friends, some got into heaven while others were made there. Emily was one of these people to you, she looked up to you for being older than her. You’ve existed for almost all of human existence so, of course she’d look up to you.

Adam had also made new friends, his band members, some officials in heaven, but someone he’s grown close to recently was Lute. You're really happy about his friendship with Lute. She seems like a strong and loyal friend, someone that can keep him grounded while still encouraging him to be more himself. Overall, you really liked her.

How they became friends though is something… less tasteful for you. All the way back when Heaven and Hell had their first meeting on what to do with the surplus of sinners in hell causing an uprising. Neither side came to an agreement in the end, you do feel partially to blame for that, but you still stand by what you did.

You never returned to any of the follow up meetings

But Adam did, surprisingly to you. In the end, you were called to talk with Sera and Adam. You were told of the agreement between Heaven and Hell, about the yearly “cleanse” that Adam and his “Exorcists” would have to commit. At first you were shocked, sure, you didn’t have the best experience with sinners and especially with the rulers of hell, but was death really necessary? You didn’t know what to say, and Adam clearly saw this.

“Babe, you alright?” He puts his hand on your shoulder rubbing his thumb in circles. You place your hand on his.

“Yeah it’s just a lot to take in. Are we sure it has to be done… that way?”

Sera looked down in pain “they’re… uprising and are becoming to much of a threat to heaven.”

You sighed as Adam took you in his arms. Adam was fully aware that you don’t share the same sentiment towards sinners as he does. His hatred towards the unholy souls down in hell was brought about by events that you simply cannot understand. Which he is thankful for, he never would want you to experience what he did.

“If there isn’t anything else we can do then… I guess we have no choice. But I don’t want to… kill anyone, even if they are sinners.”

Adam holds you closer “You won’t have to,” you smile at him, the now familiar flickering of his LED mask meeting your gaze before softly frown “you ok?”

You nod, “yeah, just…I wish there was another way.”

-

That was it. Adam would take his exorcists down to hell to kill as many sinners as they could each year. Adam knew you didn’t want him to talk about it , he kept it as separate as he could from your life. You did have to attend meetings regarding it, as one of the very few people to know about it, that was your duty.

You were fine with having that part of the job. You weren't sure if you could kill someone, sinner or not. So, for the countless years to follow, you played your part with every new extermination, attending meetings to deal with the repercussions of each cleanse.

Adam would also have to attend the occasional meeting. Which is exactly what today was. Sera had called you both in to talk.

“Thank you both for coming. I have to inform you that you will be attending a meeting tomorrow.”

Adam groaned “What! Again? This is like the 4th fuckin’ one this week! Ugh fine! Where is it this time? halo city? Cherub towne” Adam’s voice mocked the locations you’ve both been sent to countless times with a high pitched voice. Even you have to admit that the meetings could drag a bit.

Sera's face turned into a slight grimace as she looks away from you both, she sighs and continues “The meeting will be in… hell.”

“What!” Both your voices raise in shock

“Sera, you know I don’t want to go down there again!”

“Why can’t you just send the other fucking dipshits who know about-“ Adam crossed his arms defiantly

“Stop,” Sera raises her hand toward you both “no one wants to go there, and I know you both especially don’t.” She pauses “But you both are the only available angels who know of the cleanse that aren't busy. Please… I understand your disdain but heaven’s business comes first.”

“Who are we even gonna be talking to -Wait a damn minute- Don’t fucking tell me we have to talk to him.”

“I'm sorry…” You all sat in silence for a moment before Sera begins to speak again, “But you both won’t have to worry about physically being there, we have prepared holograms for you, so neither of you would be in any danger.”

“I'll have an Angel escort you to the ‘meeting’ room tomorrow, please, get some rest. I’m sure you both have had a long day.”

With that, you and Adam went home, you were definitely not feeling well about the meeting, but the fact you wouldn’t actually be there calms your nerves a bit. You had to be a little honest with yourself, hell wasn’t really the issue for you, it was more so the people. Lucifer for one, that made you feel uneasy.

The next morning, you and Adam got ready, you had to motivate him a little. He was clearly not excited for this meeting like you. The entire way there he held you close, even though nothing could have hurt you it made him feel better knowing how close you were.

On the way there, you also got Adam some ribs, his favorite. You thought it would help his nerves a bit. Turns out, Lute was the one Sera assigned to escort you both there. That also made you both a little calmer knowing a mutual friend would be there.

The three of you waited in the ‘meeting’ room for a while, about an hour. At first you thought the meeting might had been canceled or moved and you just weren't told. But then, Lute walked up to you both.

“Sir! The Seraphim has told me to inform you that there’s been a change in plans!”

“What? The fucks that mean?” Adam said stuffing a rib into his LED mouth

“Lucifer won’t be attending the meeting, instead… his Daughter will be here in his stead.” Lute’s mask showed a continuous frown and stern expression as she spoke.

“Daughter?” Your voice shook a little. This was news to you, as long as you’ve existed you had never heard he had a daughter while in hell. You look over to Adam to see His LED eyes were wide in shock but his mask turned into a smile as he sighed.

“Phew boy, we sure dodged a big ass bullet, huh Sweetcheeks?” He laughed as his arm pulled you closer. The whole thing caused you to join in. Suddenly your nerves felt a lot better than before.

“When should she be arriving, Lute?”

“Within the hour.”

-

Adam scarfed down another plate of ribs as you all wait for the “princess of hell” to arrive. The entire time you just had to wonder what kind of person she’d be. The daughter of Lucifer and Lilith. The more you thought about it, the more bizarre it seemed.

But suddenly your thoughts were interrupted by the sliding doors opening to the meeting room and a girl steps in, asking if anyone is there.

“She can’t see us?”

“Yeah, Sera gave me a long ass lector on how this stuff works before we got here. Let’s see here…” Adam pushes a button causing a click to sound out as he says “Sup!”

The girl jumps back and falls to the floor, shocked by Adam’s sudden appearance in the room. She introduces herself as Charlie. Adam offers her to shake his hand, only for it to go through.

“Ha! I fuckin’ got you! Did you fucking see that? Good shit.”

You let out a slight laugh, as you sit and watch the meeting happen. Well, you say “meeting” but nothing about it seemed very professional. Adam for the last hour (you honestly wasn’t sure at this point) had been talking about the most random of things.

You or Lute occasionally shakening your head yes or no while listening to him, while Charlie seemed quite tired already. Not that you could blame her, people who weren’t used to Adam’s banter definitely weren’t cut out for it. But You love every word that comes out of his mouth.

Eventually Adam decides that it’s time to get into what you all came here for. Pulling out a bunch of papers, Charlie begins explaining her solution to hell’s overpopulation. You were only really half listening at first, at least before she mentioned that her solution could stop the extermination which peaked your interest.

She explains her “Hazbin Hotel” and its purpose to rehabilitate sinners, you wanted to hear more of it but Adam cut her off.

The meeting didn’t really go that well, At least for Charlie. But the whole thing left quite the impression on you. The idea of ending the extermination was stuck in your head for so long, and now you had someone who had an alternative.

“Adam, are you sure that it couldn’t have worked?”

Adam looks at you in surprise “What? Do you think that shitshow could have actually worked?” He laughed as he placed a hand on your back. “Don’t even pay it any mind, alright Babe?”

“I know, it’s just… you know I don't like the extermination. So another way to lessen the population of hell should at least be looked into.” Your voice was soft enough to barely hear.

Adam’s gaze softened but he didn’t say another word, only wrapping his wing around you pulling you closer. You lean towards him, snuggling into his soft robe. No matter how much you wanted to ignore it, you couldn’t. You needed to do something, anything.

So that night, after Adam fell asleep, you asked to talk with Sera. Leaving a note for Adam saying you went to buy something just in case he woke up.

“What is troubling you?” Sera’s voice was clear and concise.

You looked toward the ground, your nerves feeling tighter than ever, as you struggled with how to put your words together. “You're aware of all that happened in the meeting with Lucifer’s Daughter, right?”

Sera nods her head “of course, all meetings are documented about as they happen.” She tilts her head slightly “What about it?”

“Well!” You steel yourself before continuing “I would like permission to observe Charlie Morningstar’s ‘Hazbin Hotel’”

Sera’s eyes widen, breaking her calm demeanor before giving a firm “No”

“But-“

“It’s too dangerous for you to be there, Adam wouldn’t want that anyways”

“He would listen if it was an order from you!” Your eyes felt watery but you continued “Please Sera… I know you don’t want the extermination to continue. Just let me do this!”

Sera looked away from you, her feelings evident on her face, any mask now down. ‘Just a little more’ you thought

“Sera, I promise you, I’ll be careful! We don’t even have to fully support them yet, just let me observe them. It would be devastating if so many souls parish if we failed to seek all options!” You beg

Sera sighed, shakingly “…I’ll see what I can do.”

Your eyes gleamed up at the tall woman “Sera, thank you, thank you!” You wanted to hug her but out of courtesy, you advised against it.

Sera tells you that she can’t guarantee anything but she will try as she sends you home to rest.

-

A few days past after that and you haven’t heard anything from Sera. It was a little worrying and felt like a bad sign to you. That was, until you were informed by Sera that your request was accepted!

“But.” Sera stops you before you can celebrate “You're only there to keep track of the progress and to make sure nothing is happening under our noses” You nod your head in understanding

“Also…” she pauses “If anything involving this hotel happens, you will have to take full responsibility, understood?”

You nod again “yes I understand. Have you… told Adam yet?”

She shakes her head

“Ok… can you… not tell him it was my idea, please. I don’t think he’d agree if he knew.”

Sera sighs before nodding her head “Very well, I’ll tell him after you leave”

“Thank you.”

-

You return home, when you got back Adam was already gone, Sera must have already called him to the office. You dreaded when he got back. You didn’t want to see him upset, it hurt you to know how worried he was for you.

A few hours later, Adam comes through the door in a panic. He stomps up to you and pulls you into a warm and intense embrace.

“Don’t go down there. I need you here with me” his voice hitches as his wings wrap around you both, curling you both into a warm and feathery ball.

“Adam…” you paused, was this really the best thing to do? No, It had to be. If this goes well, not only will the extermination stop but Adam wouldn’t have to go down to hell ever again.

“Adam, you know I can’t go against Sera’s orders.” You kiss his cheek “and I won’t be gone forever, I’m only supposed to be there till the next cleanse. Not to mention, I’ll always come back to see you.”

Adam grumbled a little “I know, I just… don’t like you being in the same place that bastard is, and in his brat’s stupid hotel! ”

You laugh softly “Adam…” grabbing his hand, you put yours in it, showing off the gold ring on your finger “I’ll never forget my promise. You know that, right?”

Adam looks at the ring, the gold wrapped around your finger with a perfectly snug fit. Everytime he looked at it was just a reminder of your love for him. That promise was something he could never forget. He slowly raises your hand to his LED mask, kissing the back of it. “Of course not.”

“Good. I promise I’ll be fine, ok?”

He nods. Hand in hand, you slowly lead you both to the bed. The both of you lay next to each other, your bodies linked together like knots. You slwoly remove his helmet from his head, laying it on the nightstand.

Your hands move up his body before landing on his face, cupping his cheeks before pulling him to a kiss before snuggling into his chest.

-

Finally it was Time for you to leave. Sera allowed you to create portals back to heaven in case anything happened and you were in need of assistance. Adam walked you to the front gate.

“Ok, do you have everything? You didn’t forget that fucking angelic dagger I had Lute get for you right-“

You shush him “Adam, I told you I’ll be fine!”

He’s sighs “Damn it- I know that but just make sure to text me while your there ok-

You kiss him deeply “Adam. I know, you’ve told me a hundred times.” You smile as you cup his face “I love you”

He sighs “Love you too Sweetcheeks”

With one final kiss, you give Adam a tight hug before waving goodbye as you went through the flaming portal. As you went through, you take a second to look at your surroundings. In front of you was a tall building. You take a few steps back to see LED lights of a sign flashing the words ‘Hazbin Hotel’

You let out a sigh of relief. You had been a tad bit worried you’d spawn somewhere random and you’d have to find the building yourself. But it seems heaven at least spared you of that.

The red skies of hell were quite different from the pristine blue ones of heaven. Even though you just got here, you could already hear the sounds of screams and explosions in the distance. How welcoming.

You steel yourself and with three hard knocks to the door, you wait for someone to open it. Muffled Scurrying sounds of footsteps approach the door before it creaks open revealing the young blond woman in the doorframe, Charlie Morningstar.

“Hi! I’m-“

The door is slammed shut, Before opening again

“Be not afraid-“

It shuts again…

Well, this may be a bit harder than you initially anticipated. You go to knock again only for it to open once more. This time, the door doesn’t close again, instead the girl mutters a quick “Hi” before going quiet.

“Hello! I didn’t mean to scare you!” You give a small laugh before continuing “I believe we met a couple days ago?” You bring your hand towards her for a shake, to which she reciprocates.

“During the meeting with.. Adam? Right?” She grimaced when she mentioned Adam, which you decided to ignore, you simply smiled and nodded. ”but I don’t believe I caught your name?”

You tell her about yourself, about how your there to stay and monitor any progress the hotel may have. You made sure to pronounce ‘may.’ While you were hoping for this idea to show some kind of positive results, even you weren’t sure if it’d would work.

“Charlie? who’s at the door- WhatHolyShit-“ a woman with a red X over her eye suddenly shouts in surprise. You look over at her, She looked very familiar…

“Wait, you are-“

“Vaggie! Charlie’s sinner girlfriend! And you are?!” The woman known as Vaggie, highlighted the word sinner while performing a “be quiet” gesture with her hand. Your eyes widen a little at the ex-Angel in front of you but you simply smile a nod “I’m Y/n, I don’t believe we’ve met, yes?”

Look, lying is the last thing you’d want to do as a citizen of heaven but you figured that it would be fine if it was to protect someone. Vaggie nodded, her face scrunched up in a tense look.

“You feeling ok Vaggie? You’re looking a little… red?”

“I’m fine! *ahem*, Hun, how about you give them a tour of the hotel.”

Charlie gasped “Yes that's perfect, you may as well get acquainted with everyone if you’re going to be here more often!”

Charlie ran off, telling you “this way! This way!” Over and over. Before you went to follow her, you leaned toward Vaggie and said a quick “Relax, I won’t tell anyone.”

She lets out a sigh before muttering “Thank you”

You both follow Charlie as she shows you the various rooms in the hotel before leading you back to the hotel’s lobby and lounge area.

“Hey! Hello everyone!” Charlie’s voice picked up a little “I’d like to introduce you to our uh… new staff member?” You nod in agreement with the title. The room in front of you was shrouded in looks of both horror and amazement.

“What the hell’s an angel doin’ here?” A lanky spider demon spoke up first

“It’sss an ambush! seek Cover!!” The Snake demon shouted, seemingly grabbing an army helmet from thin air before taking a deep dive behind the couch.

“No Pentious-” She sighs “they’re here to monitor the hotel! Heaven sent them to scout any potential progress the hotel will have”

“It’s nice to meet you all” you look at the people in front of you, to say it was a colorful cast would be an understatement.

“These two are our current tenants of the hotel! Angel dust and Sir Pentious!”

The snake slithered slowly from behind the couch up to you, while the Spider demon remained rested on the couch

“Oh… *ahem* Excuse me dear! I am Sir. Pentious! Formally known as ‘the Architect of destruction’!” He laughs, a slight hiss sounding in his voice.

He offers a handshake which you accept. To which you immediately regret. ‘ Slimey’ you thought, before wiping your, now wet hand on your clothes.

The spider demon, who you now know as Angel Dust, just gives a wave with one of his 4 arms.

“And-“ Charlie extends the word as she quickly walk to a bar by the entrance “this is the recreational area, run by our Bartender, Husk!”

The winged bartender seemed entirely uninterested in your presence or even Charlie’s. The most you got was a small glance before he takes a swig of his alcohol and walks off.

“He’s not the most… social guy in hell” she awkwardly laughs before moving on to the next person. “And this is Nifty, our one and only maid at the hotel! Nifty say hi.”

The short woman scurried moved around you, her eye quickly looking at every every nook and cranny of you as she moved. She made numerous attempts to touch and grab various things on you, your clothes, wings, and eventually she tried to climb up you to get to your halo. That’s when you finally grabbed her in place “you're a… fast one, huh? Nice to meet you!”

“And last but not least! This is Alastor, the hotel’s executive producer and our first -and only- overlord sponsor!”

Immediately, you could tell there was something off about Alastor. The entire aura he gave off was as if he was restraining something completely and utterly ungodly. The static that surrounded him was just one of many whispers you could hear from his soul.

“Hello! It’s quite a pleasure to meet someone of your… holy status!” He offers a hand to which you, hesitantly, shake. “And what do we owe the pleasure for your service?”

“They’re going to be here to keep track of the progress of the hotel…” Charlie paused “you know I’m starting to sound like a broken record- here, it’s late, how about we all get some sleep and we can talk about it in the morning!”

“Fine by me, I am waaay too sober to be having social interaction this late” Angel picks himself up and stretches “I’m gonna hit the hay”

“Here I’ll show you to your room!” Charlie smiles “We -obviously- didn’t have time to make your own so I hope you don’t mind using one of the guest rooms” she laughs

She and Vaggie walks you to your new room before leaving you be, The room was nothing more than just your average hotel room. Of course it did have its differences, a multitude of… eyes seem to be on the wall, staring at you. Well, that’s not the least alarming.

You place your stuff down and begin unpacking, you mostly just brought the basics. Clothes, hygiene stuff, your phone, and, most importantly, a framed photo of Adam.

You sat the photo on your nightstand, angling it just right so that it would always be visible to you. As you do so, you think about the memory the photo brings, you took it on one of the first dates you went on with Adam. It was a relatively tame date, you and Adam, having a picnic by a lake at night. You brought candles so you both weren’t completely in the dark, and you just loved the way he looked, his golden eyes watching the water. The dim candle light illuminating his face with a warm golden shade. Adam hates photos of him with his mask off but… You just had to keep that moment in time forever.

*Ding* *Ding* *Ding*

Speak of the- well, you know the rest. The bright light from the phone comes with the notification sound displaying Adam in bold letters. You smile as you read his messages.

Dixkmaster69

Heyy Sweetcheeks, it’s been a bit since you left

You there??

Fucking answer

You let out a small laugh at Adam’s barrage of messages. He’s not used to you being away from him for more than a day, huh? Not that you could blame him, this is honestly nothing compared to how you feel each year he has to do the extermination.

Sweetcheeks

Hey love

Everything’s fine, I’m ok.

Aside from not having you with me :’(

Dixkmaster69

Fucking finally

You know you don’t have to do this

If I bitch enough to Sera I can get you back by tomorrow

Sweetcheeks

Please don’t, Sera already has enough on her plate.

I promise I’m going to be fine

I’ll be back before you know it.

Dixkmaster69

I know

This shit just worries me

Gonna miss hearing your sexy ass voice at night too ;)

You blush at the message before sighing. Whenever you or Adam approached a topic that made him uncomfortable, he would always try to change the subject to something that made him feel better. You knew why, Adam’s someone who rarely talked about his feelings, even after all these eons together that was something he hadn’t changed. You knew exactly what he needed, even if he didn’t explicitly tell you.

Sweetcheeks

I already miss yours too <3

Do you want to help me fall asleep with that heavenly voice of yours on the phone?

Dixkmaster69

Whatever you want Sweetcheeks <3

You smile when, almost immediately, Adam begins calling your phone. You click the lights off before You make your way in your new bed, not even bothering to change out of the clothes you’ve been wearing. You grab the cover and pull it over you and tapping the answer button.

“Sup”

You yawn “Hey handsome, I missed your voice”

You hear his voice hitch before he caused on “Of course you did, no one has a better voice than the dick master. But uh, yours is a close second”

You’re let out a tired giggle, “such a charmer, you. How’s your day been huh?”

“Oh! don’t even get me started on that- Lute took me to get some ribs to ‘calm my nerves’ or some shit and they had me, ME, wait in line for like 15 minutes! The fucking audacity!”

You smile to yourself as Adam tells you about his day, the sound of his voice was like a sweet lullaby to your ears and you couldn’t get enough of it. But eventually…

“And then when I got home, I couldn’t find my damn charger and it took me like 40 fuckin’ minutes to realize it was under our bed, do you have any idea of how it keeps getting there?” He waits for you to respond only to be met with silence. “Uh bitch, I’m talking to you.”

More silence… well no, actually if Adam focused on listening, he could hear the faint sound of your snoring from the phone. Adam sighs,”Long day, huh?”

Adam lays back in your shared bed, getting comfortable. He sets the phone beside him, plugging it in while keeping it on speaker. He yawns, “Goodnight Sweetheart, can’t wait to see you again”

Slowly, the soft sounds of both yours and Adam’s snores filled each others rooms, a distant, but intimate connection. Even in slumber, you couldn’t stop thinking of your handsome and caring soulmate.

[jeonggukieverse]

So I saw you were taking requests, how about writing on this idea that Jungkook is dating someone (they have been dating for a long time) who would always smile and say it's okay whenever Jk misses out on important things of y/n's life, and the boys would constantly hint that jk should give y/n more time. Jk gets super sad once she realises that he might be not making y/n happy anymore. A fluffy ending please. 💓 I hope this isn't too much ...

Mind & Music

Pairing: Composer Jungkook x Academic Female Reader

Genre: Established relationship, Absolutely Filthy Smut, Fluff, Angsty

Warnings: Unprotected sex (wrap it up babes), mentions impregnation

Word count: 10k+

My first fic in ages! Feels good to be writing again~ This in not proofread because I was to excited to be uploading again hahah.

This request has been in my inbox for ages, thank you for being patient anon. Love ya 

Let me know how you guys like it 

- Ryeon <3

He isn’t here. You half expected him not to be. 

Still, you found yourself gazing into the audience half expecting to see that specific mop of black hair. Again, disappointment pulls at your heart as you still don’t find it.  

You hear your name being called and it snapped you out of your disheartening thoughts. You stood up and walked over to the podium and began your speech. 

“Thank you all for coming out today. It’s a privilege to be presented with this award. I am honoured to be standing here in front of you as the youngest recipient of the universities achievement of the decade award. Though I would not have been able to do this without the support and guidance of- “ 

You pause for a moment as you saw familiar smiling faces staring back at you in the crowd. Yoongi and Tae beamed at you from the back of the auditorium. Even from so far away, you could still feel the smiles radiating from their faces. You mirrored their expressions and met their proud grins with one of your own as you continued your speech. Having them here almost made all of your butterflies flutter away. Almost. Cause only the presence of one person could have caused them to disappear completely. 

After the ceremony was over, you rushed out to find your friends. You spotted them stood by the food table munching on some snacks. Your eyes locked with Tae’s first as you ran towards both men and rugby tackled them both into a giant bear hug. 

“Y/N-ah! Please, be careful! You could have knocked over my cucumber sandwich” You rolled your eyes at Taehyung ‘smocking tone. 

“Cucumber? That’s a little bland for you Kim Taehyung”

“First of all, don’t use my government name in public and second of all, it’s the best option this place has to offer. I mean, I get it, it’s Yonsei’s international focused program so it’s going to cater to foreigners but babe, you are in Korea! Where are the spices? Where is the flavour? Where is the taste?” He ranted while wiggling the pale looking sandwich in his hand. You giggled but you couldn’t deny he was wrong. 

“Hey! As a foreigner, I do not claim this cuisine” You retorted. 

“If you say so” Tae rolled his eyes. 

You shook your head at him then turned your attention to the quiet figure next to you. 

Yoongi smiled and held his hand towards you. 

“The youngest recipient of the achievement of the decade award, huh? Very impressive” 

Coming from anyone else, that sentence would have come out as painfully sarcastic but you knew coming from yoongi, it was the highest compliment he could have bestowed on a human being. You completely ignored his attempt at a hand shake and pulled him into a tight hug instead that he gladly accepted. 

Yoongi was the first friend you had made in Korea. You had met on a language exchange app. He was the only guy you had spoken to that hadn’t asked to go ‘eat ramen’ with you, go ‘see his cat’ or ask you to join a cult. But still you carried pepper spray in your bag when you agreed to meet him at the coffee shop because stranger danger is still a thing. It turns out you didn’t need it cause Yoongi was the sweetest guy you had ever met. Blunt as hell but lovely still. You recalled fondly that upon your first meeting that he had told you that your Korean pronunciation was like an elementary school kid. Did it sting? Absolutely. Was it the last time he would say something like that? Absolutely not. But he made sure you improved and got better. He decided midway through your friendship that learning English was ‘too troublesome’ for him. He had made up his mind that listening to you speak English occasionally was the best way to learn…Sure yoongs. 

It was actually Yoongi that introduced you to your boyfriend. Speaking of 

“So where is he?” 

Yoongi’s smile dropped slightly as he absorbed your change in mood. 

“He’s in the studio with Joon. They’re still working on finalising the soundtrack.” 

You forced a smile on your face, sensing the awkwardness in his voice. 

“Ah, its okay! He’s working, I’m happy he at least has a good excuse! If he was at home playing overwatch or something, I would have been super mad” you said hoping your joking tone would mask your disappointment. 

Taehyung chuckled but you know Yoongi could read you like a book. He knew how you really felt. 

“Let’s go! The rest of the guys said they’d be at the bar, right? I want to show them how cute I look in all my graduation gear. Seokjin is going to die of jealousy cause there is no way in hell he looked this good on his graduation” 

“He’s gonna murder you for even insinuating that” Tae gasped in feigned shock. 

“I’d like to see him try” you sang as you skipped in the middle of the two men. You hooked both of your arms in theirs and pulled them towards the exit. 

“There she is!” 

This was the first thing you heard before you were met with a flurry of applause and cheers as you stepped into the bar. 

You saw the gang sat at your regular booths now decorated with pink and white balloons and confetti. The table adorned with gifts and ‘congratulations banners’. Jimin, Seokjin, Hobi and Jennie stood there holding bottles of champaign. You felt your eyes start to well up, completely touched by the kind gesture. 

“Aww you guys” you spoke, voice wavering. 

“Ha! Pay up Seokjin, I told you Y/N would start crying before she even sat down! Thanks Y/N, you just won me 50000 won” Jennie exclaimed.

“No! Technically, she hasn’t cried! No tears have fallen from her eyes. C’mon Y/N keep it together” Jin begged.

“Sorry Jin, I gotta get my girl her money” You replied, blinking hard so the tears would run down your cheeks.

The group erupted in laughter as Soekjin took out his wallet. 

“That’s enough you two. Tonight, is about Y/N. Congratulations sweetheart.” Jimin said as he pulled you into a hug. You accepted his embrace but you found yourself looking over his shoulder to see if your boyfriend was amongst the crowd. He wasn’t. 

“Yeah, it’s about me! And my goal is to be as drunk as possible by the end of the night!” you proclaimed earning you more cheers from the group. Hopefully if you’re drunk, this feeling of disappointment will eventually go away. 

And it does. After 4 shots of soju, 2 vodka lemonades and a weird cocktail concoction Jimin force fed you, you were feeling better than ever. You were on the dance floor with Jennie having the time of your life. That was until you felt arms wrap around your waist. 

Oh hell no. 

You spun yourself around ready to fight whoever in the hell thought they could touch you unprovoked. Before you could administer your first blow, you were met with a pair of beautifully familiar brown eyes. 

There he was. Jeon Jungkook. 

Your fighting stance shifted as you reached up to wrap your arms around his neck to envelop him in a warm hold. You inhaled his scent as he began to lovingly plant soft kisses in the crook of your neck. You felt a familiar fire start to burn at the pit of your stomach. His innocent gesture in your drunken state was igniting a reaction in you that you were eager to explore. 

“I’m sorry baby” he whispered in your ear. 

And just like that, the feeling was gone. At those three words your vagina dried up quicker than the Sahara Desert. Cause as quickly as you had forgotten, you were reminded once again that he had let you down again. But could you be mad? He was working. This had been his dream since he was a little kid and they were so close to finalising this project, they just needed to finish to complete some final composition. Could you be mad at him? You decide once again, that you couldn’t. Once again, you put his needs before yours. You pulled away from his shoulder and met his face. You plastered a fake smile on and put on another show. 

“Baby, don’t be silly! Don’t worry about it, you’re here now, that’s all that matters.” 

“Thank you, baby. I’ll make it up to you” 

“I know you will” 

And he did. 

The next day, Jungkook took you out to a beautiful dinner to celebrate your achievement. You loved him and you appreciated the gesture, you always did. But you couldn’t help still feeling hurt. 

You supported Jungkook, you always had and you always would. 

It’s funny to think about how devoted you were to him considering how rocky your fist interaction was.

Jungkook was Yoongi’s roommate. You and yoongi had been friends now for about four months before he finally decided to invite you over to his apartment. You had to say, this made you very nervous because Yoongi had always been such a private guy. You knew enough about him to say that you were friends but he always kept himself to himself. This was a part of him that was refreshing to you, really. He was excellent at establishing boundaries. You’ve never had a friend like that before. He was very mature but also very kind and very sweet. So, when he invited you over to game night with his friends you were ecstatic. It’s finally felt like he let you in and that you became real friends. 

And as excited as you were, you were equally nervous. Yoongi had told you bits and pieces about his friends but he assured you they were all really nice. 

You were still on edge but you assured yourself that you were a pleasant person! You had come out of your shell so much in the last couple of months. Your introverted personality had been spun on its head and you were now someone completely different. The constant support from Yoongi and your advancements in your career had made you feel absolutely unstoppable. 

And isn’t it amazing? How months of character development can be wiped away in 2 seconds. 

As soon as you walked into Yoongi’s apartment, you wished you could walk right back out because the second your eyes met with Jeon Jungkook it was very apparent, he did not like you. Like, at all. 

The boy, who had previously been laughing and talking to his friend, made eye contact with you and completely shut down. The smile fell from his face and his body suddenly became stiff and rigid. He looked at you for a millisecond before tearing away eye contact completely. 

You tried to ignore him. You really did because the rest of Yoongi’s friends were so cool. They made you feel welcome and you felt almost at ease. But still, your consciousness couldn’t help but wonder over to the pale, inked up boy stood in the kitchen dressed in an oversized t-shirt and ripped black denim. 

As much as you tried to ignore it, his coldness didn’t alleviate through the night as you’d hoped. In fact, not only did it not get better; it got worse as the night went on. As everyone kept drinking more and more you felt yourself become a little bolder. What was this guys problem? You haven’t done anything to him, he had no reason to be this hostile to you.

You raised this with Namjoon, another one of Yoongi’s roommates, who assured you that Jungkook was always a little weary of strangers. He was a shy person that had great difficulty adjusting to new people. His advice was to give him time to warm up to you and when you felt ready, try and start a casual conversation. 

But it wasn’t as if you hadn’t tried that. You’d made several attempts through the night to try and speak to him to at least extend the olive branch but each time he refused running away from you as if you had some kind of disease. You were sick of it.

You saw him alone on the balcony a few hours later and realised that this was your chance. You marched up to the doors and slipped out to give this guy a piece of your mind. Hearing the noise behind him Jungkook turned his head to be met with you. Again, panic started to run through his body as he tried to make an escape around you but you would not let him. 

“What is your problem?! What did I do to you why are you so weird towards me? I know Yoongi and Namjoon said that you are very selective with your friends and that’s cool but I don’t know what I did to make you dislike me so much. Fucking hell, we just met today! What could I possibly have done that hurt your feelings so much?!” You yelled at him. Your words slightly slurred. Liquid courage was really on your side tonight cause there was no way in hell sober Y/N could yell at him like this. Especially hear on the balcony, his beautiful face illuminated by the moonlight. And the way the evening breeze ruffled through his dark locks made him look like an actual prince.  

“Woah, where did you get the impression that I didn’t like you?”

Huh?! 

His almost idiotic question quickly snapped you out of your thoughts. Was he being serious right now? Or is he just making fun of you?

“Are you kidding me? You haven’t looked at me the entire night, you haven’t introduced yourself and every time I come over to you to try and get some kind of conversation going you run off. Now tell me why are you doing all of that and not speaking to me like a normal human being !?”

“Because I think you’re pretty! And I’m intimidated by you!”

Eh? 

You remained silent for what felt like forever. Did he really just say that or did you just imagine it? No, there is no way he woul- 

“Jesus Christ, say something! Anything!” He huffed. Now putting the half empty beer bottle to his lips to stop his mouth from humiliating him even further. 

Well, Jungkook thought, if he’s going to humiliate himself may as well fully go for it. 

“You think Yoongi hasn’t told us about you? He’s told us how incredible you are. About how you’re a transfer student at the most prestigious college in Korea. About how you’re on track to be the recipient for the ‘biggest brain ever in the whole century award’ or whatever its called. He made you sound so cool; I was banking on you at least being a little bit of an asshole but again, Yoongi’s stories proved us wrong. He told us about how you willing let a random little girl sit next to you for 2 hours at a café because she wanted to practice speaking to you to improve her English. And if im being honest, the more I heard the more I wanted to meet you but when you came in today, looking as fucking beautiful as you do. Which Yoongi coincidentally forgot to mention which is funny cause he mentioned every- fucking -thing else. When you came in…”

He paused and let out a sigh. Breathing for what seemed like the first time since beginning his outburst. 

“…When you came in, I realised how far away from me you were. And I dint have any business even speaking to you. We wouldn’t have anything in common and it would make me realise how inadequate I actually am”.

There was a pause again. Slowly, you began to let out a small giggle. Your small giggle quickly erupted into a full-bodied belly laugh. Your stomach began to hurt and your eyes began to water. You had to lean on the balcony door for support as you surely felt you would pass out. 

During your breakdown, Jungkook could only stare at you his head tilted to the side like a confused bunny. His eyes fell to the floor as your laughter pierced him like a knife and was the cherry on top of his mortification. 

“And you think Yoongi hasn’t told me about you, Jeon Jungkook?” You asked as your laughter subsided. 

“Jeon Jungkook, the musical prodigy. The Jeon Jungkook that could play the piano before he could even walk. The Jeon Jungkook that everyone refers to as the Golden Maknae because you’re so good at everything. Your friends are very vocal about not just your talents in your field but also socially. Apparently, you’re the reason you guys even exist as a friend group. You were the one to make friends with each of them and bring them all together. Do you know how impressive that is?! But I’m intimidating cause I’m a little smart and I’m not mean to children? You are something else Jeon Jungkook.” 

Jungkook paused again. A chuckle escaped his mouth as his laughter then began to mimic yours. You joined him again as both of you stood on the balcony laughing with or at each other. You must have looked like maniacs but at the time both of you were too buzzed to care. 

Either way, this broke the ice between both of you as you were both able to bypass each other’s extensive achievements and finally got to know each other as people.

You’ll never forget that night. You and Jungkook sat on that balcony from 10pm to 7am, long after the others had left or gone to bed. Just talking about anything and everything until you both reached a comfortable silence.

And as the sun was rising, welcoming a brand-new morning you nudged Jungkook’s hand. His head lazily turned towards yours and he met you with a dimpled smile. 

“For what it’s worth” You smiled back. 

“I think you’re pretty and I’m intimidated by you too” 

That was 5 years ago and you and balcony boy have been inseparable ever since. You had now been there for every single important moment in each other’s life. Well…Almost.

3 years ago, Jungkook and Namjoon got the opportunity to produce a music score for a short film. Despite the films small budget, it managed to exceed all expectations and ended up getting nominated for a golden globe! You were ecstatic and so fucking proud of him. You felt like his talents and hard work were finally getting realised.

Little did you know it would be a bittersweet moment for yours and Jungkook’s relationship. Naturally as more eyes were on the film, more ears were listening to the soundtrack. This had your boyfriend pulled off to here there and everywhere in front of directors and movie studios all interested in investing in the musical duo. And finally they had been hired to compose an entire score to a new movie for a huge studio! This movie in particular, Jungkook had begged and pleaded for. He said the scrip and film premise really spoke to him and were perfect and he needed to compose this movie. This was such a huge deal for them and again you were over the moon. But there were downsides. During the first year after their debut you saw Jungkook 10 times that whole year. You spoke almost every day but almost every conversation ended in an argument. It was either and argument about you feeling neglected or him not feeling supported and it sucked. It really took a toll on both of you. 

The second year was much better. This time for a bit more of a selfish reason. The film studio had its own recording studio in Seoul only a 20-minute walk from yours and Jungkook’s apartment! He was finally able to be home more and you could actually spend time together. And so you did. 

Honestly, the first 6 months Jungkook was back home all you guys did was fuck. It was constant and almost none stop. You fucked in every room of the house at all hours of the day. You couldn’t keep your hands off each other. 

There was a day you both decided to take a break from having sex and just play some video games together. It took you both all of 5 minutes before sonic was long forgotten about and you were bent over the sofa. 

It was very romantic really. But even that joy was short lived. 

Jungkook prioritised his art. That was one thing you’d always respected and admired about him. Even the way he talked about music that wasn’t his, he painted the emotions of the music into words to explain to you the way a piece made him feel. He could describe to you in detail the way the crescendos bend in the moments before it’s about to fall. About how the vibrations of the violins is the most romantic sound ever to grace the human consciousness. He was an artist through and through. His music was him and he was his music. They were one and could not be separated. But that raised a question for you:

Where did you fit in? 

This is what made the dinner you were on now very melancholic. It was to make up for him missing your award acceptance. 

He was sorry. You knew he was but you couldn’t ignore that this was your forth make up dinner this year: First was your birthday, second was your anniversary, third was dinner with your parents (that they had specifically flown out to Korea for) and the forth was the award. The award he knew you were on track to get before he’d even met you. The award you’d poured your heart into getting and the one you’d sacrificed so much for. But he was sorry, right? Plus, he had promised to make it up to you. Next week your professor had invited you to the university to give a special lecture to other projected recipients of the award you’d just achieved. It was a high honour as these students were the best and the brightest students from countries all over the world and of all the recipients to give the lecture, they had requested you! There have been recipients before you that had gone on to win Nobel Peace Prizes but they had specifically requested you. And Jungkook was so proud of you.

“Are you okay, little mouse? You seem a little quiet tonight”. Jungkook asked, genuine concern apparent on his face. 

“I’m just thinking bunny boy.”

“About me?” He winked at you, almost cartoonishly. 

“Bunny boy, how can you cross my mind if you never leave it” you winked back at him with the same playfully cartoonish obnoxiousness. 

“Ooh that’s going on my list” 

For the past 5 years of your relationship Jungkook has been keeping a list of things you say to him that makes him smile. This list has always confused you cause it would always be the silliest stuff. Once, when he was sleeping, you went and snooped through his notes app just to see this list and you couldn’t believe it. You were expecting the most romantic phrases or compliments that fluffed his ego but instead, the top three (out of four thousand!) were:

“I’d fight a microwave for you”

“You smell like home” 

“I think you’re pretty and I’m intimidated by you too” 

You woke him up immediately to ask about it. But his only defence was they were phrases you said that make him smile. You’re understanding of his list was ‘irrelevant’ to him. 

God, you loved him. 

“You’re so silly. But seriously Kookie; don’t worry, I’m good. Plus, you’re the one who’s been talking my ear off all night. I’m surprised you’ve even noticed me being quite” You quipped playfully, taking a sip of your wine. 

“Ooh, someone’s feisty tonight. I forgot what red wine does to you” He quipped back; eyebrows now raised highlighting the metal bar that accented it. 

God, he was cool.

“How could you forget? The first time we met I was wine drunk” 

“Ah yes, how could I forget. You get very mouthy off of red wine. Don’t worry, I know how I can put that mouth to good use” 

“Jeon Jungkook!” You yelled at him in a whisper.  Eyes darting around to see if anyone had heard your boyfriends lewd comment. Luck for you the other couples around you’re were too infatuated with their partners to even notice you guys. 

“Well, while were in pubic, put that mouth to better use and tell me about your day” he said, now leaning back in his chair. 

“Well, my day was pretty calm actually. It makes a change. I was walking Ban and bumped into Holly and Yoongi. We were talking about next week and he asked if he could bring a plus one. Wink, wink” 

“A plus one! Is Yoongi dating?! In the 12 years I’ve known the guy he has never shown romantic interest in anyone. I can’t even imagine his type. Did he give you any information”?! 

“Nah, you know how he is. Yoongi will only let you know what he wants you to know” 

“True. What’s going on next week?” 

You paused for a second and started chuckling. He was kidding. He had to be. 

The smile then fell from your face when he didn’t share in your laughter. 

“Oh my god you’re serious? You forgot about my lecture”?!

He gasped and began coughing as the bite of steak he had just put into his mouth had just gone down the wrong pipe.

“Of course not baby, how could I forget something so important to you” he continued to splutter. 

You stared back at him. The good mood you had felt a moment ago had completely evaporated. You waited for him to gain his composure so he could explain himself cause boy he had some explaining to do. 

“Just for giggles and fun and jokes, what date is your lecture again?” 

“The fifteenth” you said, shortly. 

His face fell and his eyes stayed stuck on his plate.

“Baby…Please don’t hate me. That’s the night we have the final run through of the soundtrack with the director. I can’t miss that…I’m so s- “

“You’re so sorry. Im sure you are.” You stood up. 

You grabbed your purse and you stormed out away from him. You could hear him calling your name but the burn of your throat as you fought back the tears overpowered his calls. 

How could he? No, how could you? How could you ever expect anything different. You will always be second to his first love and that was a pain you had to learn to live with. 

The moment you left the restaurant and the cold air of the night hit your face you decided to just let the tears fall. You sobbed as you walked further and further away from him. 

You heard the rhythmic pounding of laced up docks hitting the pavement behind you. 

“Y/N please I’m sorry. Just let me explain…”

“No! There is nothing you could say that would fix this! I have always been there for you! I have supported you from the very beginning! Every piece of music you have ever played for me I have cherished as if it were my own and you used to support me too! At my first presentation you were there. Cheering at the top of your lungs in a silent room. You used to be my number one cheerleader but now when all I ask of you, is to just show up? You can’t do it. And every chance I give you to fix it. You let me down. Jungkook, I need some time away from you. I’m going to be staying with Yoongi for a few days”. 

You said nothing more. You spun around and walked the 2 minutes to Yoongi’s apartment. And true to your word you stayed with them till the day before your lecture. 

Despite being a creative Jungkook worked like clockwork. Every single day at the same 3 times a day Jungkook would try to call you. The call was always followed by an ‘I love you’ text but today was different. After the second call of the day the text that followed said:

“I know this is such a fucking reach and such a huge ask but would you mind swinging around our apartment today at around 3? Director Anderson would like to speak to you. I know you probably still need your space so I’ll be in the apartment but I’ll be in the bedroom. I’ll come out only when you’ve left, I promise. Please come” 

He really had some fucking nerve. That ‘please come’ at the end of his text almost sent your blood boiling. 

“You should talk to him,” said a familiar voice. 

Your turned your whole body around on the sofa so Yoongi could see your eyes roll at his suggestion. 

“Yoongs, I feel like it shouldn’t be me your having this conversation with. You should try telling him not to break commitments to people” 

“Oh I have! That’s why I’m telling you, you need to speak to him. I know it’s none of my business but I think you guys just need to talk it out. And even if you don’t have anything to say, at least hear the boy out” he finalised before turning on his heels and heading back into his room. 

That wasn’t the speech you were expecting but it did calm you down enough to re-read Jungkook’s text. Your boiling rage had now been replaced with intrigue and curiosity. The meeting was requested by the director of the film? This was very unusual. You had heard about the director in passing but you had never spoken directly before. But you had decided that you were going to go. You we determined to look the man who practically stole your boyfriend for years in the face and lecture him about respecting his colleagues work/life balance! Plus it will be good practice for your lecture tomorrow. Two birds, one stone. 

It would be an absolute lie to say that you weren’t missing Jungkook. You knew the apartment would smell like him and you hoped you may be able to swipe one of his t-shirts to sleep in before you leave. 

You ubered over to your apartment and stood before the oak front door feeling oddly nervous. To took a shaky breath and inserted the passcode: 5318008 (you and Jungkook were children at heart cause you both laughed for hours after agreeing upon the code).

Upon hearing the beeping of the lock to confirm the door was unlocked you pushed it open. You stepped in, removed your shoes and couldn’t help the solemn smile that crept onto your face. Jungkook’s scent hit you as soon as you entered the room. 

God, you missed him. 

You strode inside and were met with a recognisable figure sitting upright on your sofa. His back stood tall and his hair was a mousy brown colour. It was so bizarre seeing him here. There was an uncanny feeling, seeing this man you knew but had never met sat in your living room.

He must have felt you staring at him because his head soon whipped around. 

“Y/N. So nice to finally meet you.” He stood up and walked over to you shoving his hand out towards you. You shook it hesitantly. His hands were cold and clammy but his eyes were warm. He was tall and chubby but he wasn’t foreboding, in fact he seemed rather friendly Damnit. You wanted him to be an asshole, it would have made telling him what was on your mind so much easier. 

“It’s nice to meet you too, Mr Anderson” you said as coldly as you could muster. 

“Mr Anderson is so formal, just call me James. Although its strange. We’re meeting for the first time but it feels as if I have already met you” His German accent becoming more apparent as he spoke. 

“And why is that?”

“Ah, that is why I asked Jungkook to invite you over. Although it does feel strange extending you an invitation to your home” he chuckled to himself. 

He invited you to sit down on the couch, it was only then that you noticed a laptop connected to your TV. 

“What’s all this?” you asked. Genuinely curious. 

“I have a little something for you to watch. It may make explaining why I asked you hear a little more apparent. Please, have a seat my dear” he guided you to the sofa as you plopped yourself down. Eyes glued to the screen. 

You anticipated what would happen next when a familiar tune began to play. You knew it was Jungkook’s composition as soon as you heard it. Suddenly an animated mouse popped up on the screen. She was in the wings of a stage, obviously nervous but she strolled out into the spotlight in front of a stoic audience of other animals. Just as she was about to speak there was suddenly a loud whooping from the crowd that interrupted the slow score. It was a bunny. A bunny with banners and whistles and confetti and he was cheering for her. The others in the audience told him to be quite but he exclaimed ‘That’s my girlfriend’ still as proud as can be. 

The trailer played on and you slowly started to get it. It was you. This little mouse was you. Tears welled up in your eyes as yours and Jungkook’s entire relationship began to play in front of you. All your highs and your lows. It was beautiful and the accompaniment of his music made the tears pour from your eyes until it was over. 

You turned back to James and attempted to speak but only blubbers could come out. 

“Let me explain Y/N. When Jungkook and Namjoon came out to LA to play some stuff for the studio the only thing the boy would speak about, other than music, was you my dear. Jungkook and I sat for hours speaking about you. He told these elaborate stories about how you met, who you are and about the adventures you got into together. It was indeed very fascinating to me, you almost seemed like a heroine in his very own story. He bragged about your achievements almost as if they were his own. According to him, you are the smartest woman on the planet my dear and he would not be told otherwise. Oh, congratulations on the achievement of the decade award! And the youngest recipient at that? Incredible work my dear, just incredible. Jungkook went into great detail about what a huge deal that was. Needless to say the day after the networking event I went home and began writing the script for ‘Mouse & Bunny – Mind & Music’. I had just never seen someone so passionate about another person. His passion for you far outweighs his passion for his craft, that much was apparent, it was awe inspiring and I had to bring It to the screen. I think that is why Jungkook fought so hard to be the lead composer for the soundtrack. He wanted to intertwine the two loves of his life”. 

You sat there in complete shock for a moment before jumping into James’s arms and engulfed him into a hug. His moustache tickled your shoulder as he chuckled and said he was happy to have cleared things up. As he packed up his laptop, he was asking you so many questions, probably attempting to confirm the validity of Jungkook’s stories: 

“Did you really fight a microwave” 

“I most certainly did” 

“Did you really use protein powder as flour for a cake?” 

“I most certainly did” 

“Did you really not know the earth went around the sun?” 

“That son of a-… no comment” 

He snorted as he packed up the last of his things. You walked him to the door but he turned to you before saying his final goodbyes. 

“Y/N, it seems wrong for me to give the final approval for the soundtrack. I’ve heard it and I know it’s the most beautiful accompaniment to the film but it seems only fitting that the muse gets to give the final say so. Take the afternoon to listen to it and pass your notes to Jungkook. If you like it, I’ll approve it. So there should be no need for my originally planned final listen tomorrow. Jungkook seemed like he wanted to attend something much more important tomorrow anyway” He winked at you as he closed your door. 

You didn’t even wait for the door to fully shut before you were sprinting to your shared bedroom.

The pitter patter of your bare feet slapping the wood floor could almost not be heard over the beating of your heart. You bust open the door to see the love of your live leaning over his piano. 

You must have given him such a fright as his big boba eyes were the first to greet you. 

“Y/N I-“

You crashed your lips onto his, completely cutting him off. 

“I am the stupidest person in the world.” 

Jungkook laughs, standing up beside you. 

“No little mouse, why do you say that” he said with a soft smile while he caressed your tear-stained face. 

“I don’t know why I didn’t just ask! I’m so- “

“Even if you asked, I probably wouldn’t have told you. I wanted things to be a surprise. But baby, first I needed to apologise, like really apologise” 

“You have nothing to be sorry for” 

“Yes, I do. Ever since I met you, you brought light into my world. I wanted to express to you my love in the best way I knew how and this project, to me, was the best way for me to put into the world how I felt about you. But I was selfish, I took my expression of love and put it above all the things I knew you had work so hard to achieve. In a way, I put my love above yours and I will forever be sorry and I can assure you, it won’t happen again. I love you Y/N L/N” 

You reward his confession with another kiss, pulling him into your arms soon after. 

you sighed, almost longingly. “Whatever shall I do with my bunny boy?” 

“Whatever shall I do with my little mouse?” Jungkook chuckles, pressing a kiss against the side of your ear, drawing soothing circles on your hip. 

He gently placed you down against your mattress. You clung to him and giggled  

You stay quiet, appreciating the comfort of Jungkook’s presence. 

God, he smelled good. 

“Okay,” he purrs, caressing your hip as he repositioned himself more securely. “I get it. My pretty girl must’ve missed me, huh? A week away? It felt more like a lifetime” You nodded in response. Terrified that if you spoke, your voice would fail you.

Jungkook shifted, the hand that was previously on your hip swiftly fell over your thigh instead. “Or should I say my smart girl?” he hums as his hand slipped between your thighs. “My smart, pretty, intimidating girl?” 

Your eyes flutter closed and you revel in the feeling of him running his fingers over the front of your panties. Your toes curl at the sudden pressure.

“Ah,” you hissed.

“Hmm?” he says, mouthing against the crook of your neck. His mouth feels so warm, but the trails of saliva he leaves have you shivering. “My smart girl doesn’t have anything smart to say?” 

“N-No,” you tried to scoff back, fingernails digging into his skin through his shirt. His hands were getting braver now as he slipped his hand beneath your waistband, and touched your wet heat head on. “Baby.”

Jungkook chuckled at your immediate submission for his touch and took the opportunity to connect his mouth back you yours. You whimpered in surprise, legs trembling as he gets to work circling your hardening bud. Your thighs are squirming, clenching around his hand every few moments. 

You bit down a whine. “I was just…” you trailed off as he teased his index and middle fingers against your opening. 

“Just what baby? Just thinking?” he said as he finally pushed himself off of you and propped himself up with an elbow beside your head. His gaze became a familiar dark. He moved at a godlike speed as he snatched his hand out from where you had previously trapped him between your legs. 

Jungkook pulled away from you and rolled his neck, the joints in his spine cracking as he begins pulling off his shirt. You had to stop yourself from drooling at the sight of him. 

He threw his shirt off to the side of the bed, his sleeve of tattoos that wrapped around his bicep and crawled down his chest were wonderfully free now. “My eyes are up here, little mouse” he said and your eyes immediately shot back up to meet his gaze. He leaned towards you, muscled arms coming to cage you in against the headboard. 

“No one is looking at your eyes bunny boy” you attempted to quip back. Completely failing to mask the tremor in your voice. Jungkook always had a way of making you feel powerless under his gaze when he was on top of you like this. 

His hand grabbed beneath your knee and yanked you unforgivingly until you were slumped down onto your back with a squeak. You settled with his knee pressed directly against your core. Jungkook stayed towering over you. 

He placed his hand gently around the base of your neck as he leaned in to properly grind his thigh into you. “Is that right? No one’s looking at my eyes, huh?” he murmured darkly, thumb pressing a little harder into the side of your neck. You sobbed, soaked panties rubbing roughly against his leg. 

“Are you gonna touch me?” you interrupted, lower lip trembling at the thought after your desperate rutting. Jungkook pursed his lips together in thought. 

“Hmmm,” he hummed. “Not too sure yet.”

You whined. “Jungkook, please,” you whimpered, wrapping your legs around his waist. “I need you.”

Jungkook chuckled, running his hand up your waist and taking your dress with him. He slips his fingers beneath your bra, pushing the wire over your chest as he mouthed at your neck. “Cute,” he cooed. “Can’t do it yourself?”

You trembled, chest heaving into him as he rolled your nipple between his fingers. “I-I can,” you gulped. “You just do it better.” Jungkook followed your admission with a nip against your skin, tongue soothing over it right after. “Why? Because I do everything better than you? Even make you cum better than you?”

You mewled in response, determined not to give him the satisfaction of answering his question. Cause you both new the answer was yes. He made you cum so much better than you could.

“Remove your clothes for me...” he whispered gruffly yet sweet as he pulled himself from you. 

You hurriedly removed the rest of your clothes you caught Jungkook’s mouth falling open in awe at the semi-nude sight of you before him. After finally removing your bra and panties, you threw them to the floor with the rest of your clothes, you observed how he licked his lips shamelessly as he took in the view of your beautifully perky nipples that drove him absolutely insane. You looked into his deep eyes, catching your bottom lip in between your teeth and Jungkook couldn’t stop himself from palming his cock over the confinements of his pants – watching you get worked up just for him. 

“Are we that type of couple, Jungkook?” you whispered his name sweetly as you slowly climb on top of him. You straddled him, pushing your breasts flush against his chest.

“Which type are you referring to?” he murmured back as his hand moved back to between your thighs – feeling the damp patch of your essence now overflowing. You felt his cock pulsate in anticipation.

“The ones who have an argument, then have angry make up sex?” you giggled as you began pressing soft, delicate kisses along his neck. Jungkook’s eyes shut tightly as he felt your teeth nip at him – causing a breath of air to leave his lungs while you began sucking on his skin – leaving your mark on him. The next thing you knew, Jungkook pulled your mouth away from his neck and flipped you over. He was now hovering over you and began continuing on you what you had started on him

“Jungkook...” you let his name occupy your mouth and your thoughts as he suckled on your skin – alternating between kissing you, biting you and dragging his teeth further south to your boobs.

“Let us see how much of a good girl you can be for me...” you suddenly felt his breath dangerously close to the mound between your legs, before his hands began kneading and gripping at your ass-cheeks. Jungkook moved his face right into you – just shy of his nose touching your folds from behind as he took in your sweet scent. He wanted to devour you whole – but at the same time, he wanted nothing more than to hear you beg and plead for your own pleasure and release. You trembled at the contact of his index finger running along your slippery lips, feeling it hastily stroke your bud before he pulled it back down again – repeating the same action over and over.

 Jungkook smirked at the noises coming from you; whimpers of frustration, want and need. He knew you were like putty in his hands with the way your lewd wetness heavily coated his finger; and he would have wanted it no other way.

“Please Jungkook...please stop teasing me – I need you so fucking badly I – “you rolled your head to the opposite side – placing your blazing cheek against the pillow in an attempt to extinguish the apparent fire that was burning your entire face. You knew he was making you wait for it – and you both simultaneously loved and hated it in a hundred different ways. 

You breathed a sigh of relief, along with moans of satisfaction as his tongue continued to explore every inch of you. The scandalous sounds from his tongue and his lips filled the room as he continued to consume you. 

“I’m so close Jungkook – fuck...” you moaned a string of further curses as he sped up his movements – his finger now wiggling heavily over your clit as his tongue probed you even deeper than before.

“Are you really?” he hummed, slowing his pace as you whined in response. “Hmm...I can’t have you coming undone on me just yet little mouse...where’s the fun in that? Plus, I had to wait a whole week for you to come back. Do you think I would let you cum so quickly?” he grinned coyly as he moved away from you – licking the remainder of you off his lips as you damn near cried out in anger at being denied your orgasm when it was seconds away.

God, he’s such an asshole. 

“You can cry and whine all you want...but you’re not getting anything unless I think you deserve it; do you understand me, baby?” he cooed with the heaviest form of sarcasm you had ever heard as he began coating his erection with your wetness – giving himself a few strokes as he smirked and watched you squirm in defeat underneath him. You rolled your eyes to the back of your head, before turning onto your stomach as fast as you could to avoid his arrogant gaze. 

As you laid faced away from him, all you could feel was the thick width of his cock resting between your cheeks as Jungkook took it upon himself to slowly grind himself into you – giving him the minimal amount of pleasure and you the maximum amount of excruciating frustration.

“Yes! I understand...please...I’ll do anything, please!” you shamelessly pleaded – hearing the desperation in your own voice as you moved your ass backwards into him. Jungkook chuckled before he began sprinkling light kisses the whole way up your spine – the fleeting feeling of his lips leaving damp patches on your skin being enough to make it feel like he was burning you with desire for more of him.

“Good girl” Jungkook praised you – letting you feel the tip of his cock resting just on top your drenched entrance. And – without warning, he quickly eased himself in as far as he could go; hearing you let out breathy moans and whimpers as he pressed deeper.  

“Louder” he commanded as he leaned back – looking down to view his member leave your tight walls – much to both of your displeasures. “I want the entire world to know who’s fucking your pussy like this right now” he slammed back inside you, feeling your slickness engulf him as your screams filled the room. 

“That’s it Y/N, that’s my good girl” Jungook growled as he began pounding you into you at an unforgiving pace. You cried and sobbed feeling his cock reach deeper inside you with each time his skin smacked against yours. Jungkook relished in the look of your ass every time it bounced off his lower abdomen as he continued pummelling into you mercilessly – when he saw your hand reach back to try and hold his. Knowing that you needed to feel the security of his grasp, Jungkook leaned over your back and laced his fingers with yours – giving you fast, deep strokes of his cock while you felt it slam against your precious nerves inside you. Jungkook knew you were already on the verge of letting go from the way your voice got louder and higher – along with your walls constricting around his member so tightly that he had to almost hold his breath to not finish before you.

“Cum for me – you earned it sweetheart, let go and let me hear your beautiful voice” he cooed into your ear. And, like his words were the only thing that could set you free, you came hard around him while you closed your eyes tight as you felt your orgasm pour out of you. Jungkook coaxed you through your cries of ecstasy as he slowed his thrusts down – still keeping their depth while his groans harmonised with your own voice in the wake of your pleasure. And, just as quickly as it came, your high left your body – leaving you slumped face down into the pillow with no will to do much else other than breathe. You felt Jungkook slowly slide out of you – feeling the emptiness he left behind while he began pulling you up and back into his chest, his hands then roaming over every inch of your skin he could find.

“Did that feel good, baby?” he purred, nibbling on the bottom of your ear and letting you know that he was still standing to attention with the way his member pressed into your ass. You let out an airy chuckle, still not able to maintain a coherent train of thought.

“Mmhm” you hummed, reaching behind you to let your hand rest on the back of his neck, letting your fingers get lost in his hair as Jungkook dotted your neck with kisses once more.

“I can’t get enough of you – no matter how much you give me, no matter how much I take...” he murmured on top of your skin, making you shiver from head to toe and smile from ear to ear.

“What are you waiting for then, bunny boy?” you replied, turning around to him and coming face to face with his dark hooded eyes. “I want you to take more...take me, Jungkook” you mewled as Jungkook’s hands began caressing all his favourite parts of you – your hips and the tops of your thighs included. 

You swapped positions and you positioned yourself on top him. As you did, Jungkook quickly pulled his legs underneath your bottom before crossing them below you, while you instinctively wrapped your legs around his waist so that you were both in a sort of Lotus Flower position. You looked down, seeing his head perfectly level with your tits as he began kissing and nipping at your hardened nipples – making you reel from the sensitive sensation that coursed through you. You observed his hand as it slipped underneath you – grabbing a hold of his pulsating member and angling it right before your welcoming entrance once again.

“Baby...aren’t you forgetting something?” you questioned immediately in reference to the fact that he was about to enter you whilst you both found yourself in the most romantic baby-making position known to man. Jungkook shook his head as he looked up into your eyes, his stare completely melting you from the inside out.

“I want to feel you when I cum inside you...I want to make you mine in every way possible...will you let me?” his husky voice travelled to every single part of your soul as you let your mouth hang agape. 

“But – what if...you know?” you replied, wondering how he felt about the most obvious thing that could happen from not using protection. 

“You have nothing to worry about, Y/N” he whispered softly, feeling himself press against your small opening as the tip of his cock became engulfed by your slick tightness. “’If it happens, it happens. I would want no other woman to mother my children” you both let out an intense moan in turn as he pushed his way inside you. When Jungkook thought about you carrying his first child and bringing the product of your love into the world; with him becoming a father and you becoming a mother, it filled him with delicate feelings of paternal happiness he knew he could never feel with anyone else but you. 

You bit your lip hard as you rolled your hips at a rhythmical pace into his – feeling every inch of him curving inside you. Jungkook placed one hand below your bottom, while cradling your back with his free arm as a means to let you set the pace of your love making, but still letting him have full control over your every movement. You felt wave after wave of pleasure strike you as your clit moved flush against Jungkook’s body that was tight against yours; and your moans continued to spill from your lips as he looked up into your face – his eyes full of life and love as he seemingly peered right into your soul. In contrast to Jungkook’s way of asserting himself over you just moments ago, you could see the vulnerability in his eyes as he let his mouth hang open – panting and groaning at the feeling of pleasure from being inside you and so close to you.

“I love you...so much, Jungkook” you managed to speak – feeling your body almost grow limp from having little to no energy left as you felt your sweat drip down your temples. Sensing your exhaustion, Jungkook helped you lay down on your back to the bed – keeping himself still lodged inside you as he rested himself between your legs. His thrusts were slow, deep and meaningful as he pressed his forehead to yours and took your hands in his – pinning them to the bed while he felt your pulse rocket as he pushed you once again to your second orgasm of the evening. You felt like the entire world was spinning as you attempted to moan and writhe in fulfilment – but unfortunately, no sound left your mouth as you produced a silent cry in the wake of Jungkook’s pleasure-filled stokes that reached deeper and deeper within you.

“And I... I love you Y/N” Jungkook’s lips found yours for the millionth time as he felt himself twitch inside of you – his entire seed mixing with your juices as he came deep within you. He tensed every single one of his muscles, letting you swallow each of his moans as he slowed down gently.

“I’m so happy that you’re mine...” he almost whimpered as his movements ceased – before letting himself collapse on top of you, resting his head in the crook of your neck while you raised your arms up and over his back to hug him even closer to you.

“And I’m so happy that you’re mine, too” you kissed the top of his head – still feeling his cock buried inside of you as you couldn’t help but smile to yourself. 

Jungkook raised his head a fraction to look at you – his appearance both thoughtful and endearing as he held on to you. “I really am sorry Y/N. I never want you to feel like your aren’t a priority to me” he blinked gently as you continued to listen to his heartfelt, post love making thoughts.

“I know” you replied quietly, tracing the muscles along his back with your fingers. “And I’m sorry too. I guess we both just need to communicate a little better”.

“My Y/N – You are my world. You – you are my everything. I used to not understand what people meant when they said that to someone they loved, because before you – I thought music was my only love. But every day I spend with you, you give me a hundred more reasons to adore you. I promise I will spend the rest of my life trying to prove that.”

You felt yourself well up at his words of endearment. He really was your world and you now knew for a fact that you were his too. 

“Ooh, I forgot to say” you interrupted yours and Jungkook post love making silence. 

“James said I could approve the soundtrack for our film” 

Jungkook smiled to himself upon hearing you refer to it as your film. 

“If that’s what James said, who am I to undermine the director.” He declared. 

“The songs are on my phone in the Media Folder but im gonna hop in the shower while you listen. Cause it will break my heart if you don’t like them” he chuckled, half joking half serious. 

“I know im going to love them babe. But you go and take your shower, I’ll be right here when you come out”. 

He left with a smile. 

You scrolled through his phone to find the music files and tears began to fill your eyes once again as you read the tracklist: 

“I’d fight a microwave for you”

“You smell like home” 

“I think you’re pretty and I’m intimidated by you too” 

And the list went on. It was his list. His list of your phrases that made him smile. Before you could even finish reading the tracklist, you ran to the shower you embrace your bunny boy and show him for a second round how much you loved him. 

Although, if you had taken just a few moments to read the tracklist, Jungkook is sure you would have loved the last song on the soundtrack. It was the only title that wasn’t you contribution, it was his: 

12. “I hope she’ll marry me”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hope ya'll enjoyed it! My requests are open, feel free to send em across :)

[jetii]

i loveeeeeee ur writing. its like a masterpiece. mwah. i was wondering if you could do an angsty fic with the prompt "I loved you!" with any clone boy you want (maybe crosshair 👀) I was listening to Cardigan by taylor swift and it lowkey set the mood.

sorry if the request is very vague cause i never watched bad batch yet im a huge simp 🥲 so do whatever you want.

I know you got like a tonnnn on your plate and i lowkey feel bad requesting but you write really good so take ur time to take care of yourself.

hiiiii anon. if you are who i think you are, then you'll have already been watching TBB by now, but if you're not, what are you doing!! /affectionate

after listening to the song (i have a sister who is a swiftie but alas i am not) and thinking harder about your prompt, i was inspired to write this for Echo, so i hope that's okay!

The Way Back

Pairing: Echo x fem!Reader

Words: 9,621

Tags/Warnings: angst with a happy ending, hurt/comfort, established relationship, dramatic reunion, reader is a lawyer, Tech is a good brother, Echo needs a hug, allusion to panic attacks/alcoholism/depression

Summary: Echo always knew you were it for him, but the idea of seeing you again after so much has changed is more than he can take. Until one day he finds himself outside of your apartment, and the choice is made for him.

Previous Work | Next Work | Masterlist

Echo doesn’t leave the ship when it docks on Coruscant.

His eyes are locked on the city-planet, lit up like a giant firefly, watching the endless stream of ships coming in and out. Their trails of light make the whole thing seem dreamlike, surreal. Even that feels like too much, reminds him too much of the view from your apartment, and he tries to close his eyes, but his eyelids are made of glass.

The first time he saw Coruscant, there had been a moment of... what, awe? Terror? Something. Something big, anyway. He didn't understand then that you can have a feeling be a lot of things. He'd looked down on the galaxy's center of power and felt something bigger than he could possibly contain. Now, sitting alone on the Marauder with only the whirr of the vents for company, he thinks maybe the feeling was dread.

The first time they came back here after Echo joined the Batch, the others didn’t notice his unease. Or at least they didn't mention it. It was an adjustment period for everyone, Echo most of all, and his brothers gave him space to do things on his own terms, even when it meant he did nothing at all.

This time, it's different. He can tell they've noticed how he's been acting, and they're not just leaving him alone anymore. He can tell, because they're giving him looks. The kind of looks that ask questions he doesn't have answers for. They make excuses to stick close by, like they're afraid he might take off or that he's going to break down and have another panic attack. It makes him want to hide even more.

He's not going to, though. It's not so bad. Coruscant has always been a source of good memories for Echo, despite what happened. The sights, the sounds, the tastes — they're all still the same. He'd spent a long time on Coruscant before the Citadel happened, and he'd gotten used to it, the way the air smells, the feel of the rain against his skin. He had a whole life here. He was happy.

It's not so bad. He just... doesn't feel like going out, is all.

He knows he’s being stupid. He knows that he should be out there, enjoying what little downtime they’re afforded. Instead, he's on the ship, trying not to stare out the windows, trying to pretend that he isn't bothered by the thought of leaving, of the possibility of running into you again, however small that may be.

The worst part is that he's not sure why.

It's not that he doesn't want to see you. On the contrary, he does. More than anything. He hasn't stopped thinking about you, wondering if you're okay, if you’re happy, if you've thought of him. He's kept his ears open, and has managed to overhear a few stories here and there about you. The most recent had been about you winning a case for a group of Houk refugees who had been seeking asylum in the city, a big deal for a young lawyer to handle.

It had made him smile, a real, genuine smile, the kind he rarely got to have.

But there's something about seeing you again, about you seeing him that makes him hesitate, makes his stomach turn over and his throat tighten. Maybe it's because he doesn't want to know for certain, doesn't want to see that you're happy, that you've moved on, that you're doing well without him.

Maybe it's because he doesn't trust himself. He's different now, he knows that. He's different, and so are you. He doesn't know if he can face you, doesn't know if he'll be able to handle whatever is waiting for him. 

When he woke up in Rex’s arms and realized the galaxy had kept moving without him, he hadn’t thought much of it, solely focused on survival, on the fact that he was alive at all. He hadn't cared about what he'd missed, who he'd left behind. He hadn't known how much time had passed, and the thought that he was a dead man hadn't even crossed his mind. He hadn't thought about you, hadn't given himself the time or space to consider the consequences. You'd been the furthest thing from his mind. He'd had to keep fighting, to keep living. But once he had the time to think about it, to regret, well, it was...

It's different.

There's no other word for it. Everything is different.

Echo has had time, too much time, to think about you, to regret losing you. It's kept him up late into the night cycle, lying in bed, staring up at the ceiling, unable to sleep, thoughts running a mile a minute.

You'd been a good person, a better one than he could ever hope to be, and he had loved you, and then he had died.

Or, he had thought he'd died. Turns out he hadn't. That had been the only mercy.

You'd been the first and only person in his entire life to see him as something other than a soldier, and he'd loved you for it. You'd seen him, really seen him, and you hadn't run. He had been terrified by that, but it had also been the best feeling in the world. And he had taken advantage of it. He had let you in, he had let himself fall in love, and then he had died.

It's different, now. He's different. The galaxy's moved on, and he's a ghost, and he's scared. He doesn't know how to face you, doesn't know if he can. So when they’d made it out of Skako Minor and Rex had asked if he wanted to comm you, he’d said no. And he's been saying no every time since.

A small voice inside his head, one that sounds a lot like Fives, tells him that's bullshit.

His brother would have called him out on his cowardice, and Echo thinks that's a fair assessment. But even though he misses you and wants nothing more than to hear your voice, it's better this way. It's better if you don't see him like this, if you never find out the truth. The thought of you seeing him, of you seeing what's left of the man you knew, is too much. He can't do that to you.

It's better if you never see him again. It's better if you have closure, if you've moved on and don't think about him anymore.

You deserve more. You deserve someone who hasn't lost as much as he has, someone who you won't have to worry about, someone who will be there for you.

Someone who can give you the life you want.

Echo knows he can't do that. And maybe if he says that enough times, he'll finally believe it.

“Why are you still here?”

The sound of Tech’s voice snaps him out of his thoughts. He turns and finds his brother watching him from the doorway, an expression of vague curiosity on his face, a soldering iron twirling absently in his hand.

Echo shrugs.

Tech gives a short, impatient huff.

"That is not an answer," he says, crossing his arms and looking pointedly at Echo.

"I was just..." He trails off. Just what? Just looking out the window and moping? He sighs. "Nevermind."

Tech steps into the cockpit, looking unconvinced. Echo can tell he has a question on the tip of his tongue, can see him considering his options. Tech is not the most tactful person in the galaxy, and Echo isn't really in the mood to hear his thoughts, not when they're bound to be blunt. But instead of asking, his brother simply takes his seat beside him and begins tinkering with the dashboard, checking the systems.

The two of them are quiet for a moment, the only sound the clinking of the tools. Then Tech pauses and looks at Echo. 

Echo fidgets under his brother's gaze. "What?"

Tech doesn't respond right away, taking a second to look Echo over. His eyes flicker around the cockpit, as if the gauges and switchboards will give him some kind of clue, before coming back to his brother.

"There is nothing wrong with the ship," he says.

"Okay," Echo says, confused. "So?"

"So," Tech continues, "there is no reason for you to be here. We are scheduled to remain docked until 600 hours, and you have the day off. You could be anywhere."

Echo rolls his eyes, a prickle of annoyance flaring in his chest. "Yeah, well, I'm here, aren't I?"

"Yes, you are," Tech agrees. There's a moment where he considers something, and then he speaks again, "If I may offer a suggestion?"

"Go for it," Echo grumbles, not bothering to look at him.

"Go for a walk."

"A walk?"

"Yes. Physical activity is proven to improve mood and mental health. And you could do with the fresh air."

Echo frowns. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means," Tech says, not even pausing in his work, "that you've been spending an inordinate amount of time locked away in here."

"I'm not locked away," Echo protests.

"No, I suppose not. But you have not been yourself since we arrived."

Echo doesn't have an answer for that.

"Go for a walk," Tech repeats, and this time he does stop and turn to Echo. He leans back in his chair and removes his goggles, letting them rest on his forehead, and the intensity in his gaze makes Echo squirm a bit.

"Where?"

Tech gestures towards the open space in front of them, the sprawling metropolis. "There are a number of options available, I'm sure. There are parks, shopping districts, museums, restaurants..." He ticks the ideas off on his fingers one by one, and then points back to Echo. "Perhaps you should find out for yourself."

Echo snorts. "Thanks, but no thanks."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want to," he says, the words coming out more defensively than he intended. "I'd rather just stay here."

"Yes, I can see that," Tech says dryly, and Echo gets the distinct impression that his brother is making fun of him.

He scowls.

Tech is undeterred. "But I don't think that is what you actually want to do."

Echo's mouth opens to argue, but then closes it just as quickly. He's not sure what to say, not sure if he wants to say anything. Tech isn't wrong. He doesn't really want to stay on the ship, not truly. The idea of getting out and going somewhere is tempting, and if he's being honest with himself, the last thing he wants to do is sit here, stewing in his thoughts alone. Or worse, with Tech.

And he does need to stretch his legs.

He looks out the window again, taking in the sight of the planet before him. He's not sure what's going to happen once they get the signal for the next job, if they'll ever be back. He might never have this opportunity again.

He takes a breath.

"Fine," he says, throwing his hands up in the air. "You win."

Tech's lips twitch, a barely contained smile. "As I usually do."

Echo shakes his head, a grin playing on his lips. He starts to make his way towards the door, and stops beside his brother.

"Thanks," he says, placing a hand on Tech's shoulder.

"You are welcome," Tech nods. “Try to be back by 0600 hours. If you are late, we will leave without you.

Echo snorts. "I wouldn't expect anything less."

He leaves Tech there and heads to the ramp. His steps slow as he reaches the bottom, but he forces himself forward, out into the bright sunlight and fresh air.

Echo spends the next few hours wandering around Coruscant, letting his feet guide him.

He goes wherever the crowds take him, stopping at whatever catches his interest. It's nice, being able to let his mind go blank and not have to worry about where he's going. He doesn't have to think about anything, doesn't have to consider the consequences, or the risks.

He just exists.

And it feels good.

When he eventually decides to turn back, he's a bit surprised at how far he's come. He hadn't intended to venture so deep into the city, had just wanted a walk to clear his head. But the area he's found himself in is one he recognizes.

Your apartment is nearby.

Echo can feel his pulse start to quicken, his palm begins to sweat, and he stops in the middle of the walkway.

The sun has begun to set, and the crowds are thinning. You’ll be on your way home from work soon, if you weren’t already. His brain helpfully supplies the route you would take, and his eyes flit up towards the skyline. He can't see your building, but he knows it's there, not far away.

The knowledge sits heavy in his chest.

No, he tells himself, shaking his head. I shouldn't.

He has no way of knowing if you're even home. For all he knows, you could be busy, out with friends or maybe on a date.

Don't, his mind warns him. She's moved on. You shouldn't.

He hasn't been to your apartment since the morning he left. The memory is a sharp one, a jagged knife cutting through the fog of his past. He remembers the way your bed had felt, the warmth of your body, the sound of your breathing as you slept tucked against him.

It had been so peaceful.

It had been so easy to leave.

His mind starts to replay those moments, the goodbye you had given him, and it's like a punch to the gut. He knows how much you care about him, knows that if you were to see him again, that wouldn't have changed. You wouldn't turn him away.

The night before, you talked for hours. Your conversation had been punctuated with kisses and caresses, laughter and confessions. You told him how much you wanted him to stay, how much you wished he didn't have to leave, how much you wished things could be different. You talked about what the future might hold for the two of you, and he remembers how that felt, how it made him believe, even for just a moment, that things would work out.

They didn't, of course.

But Echo is still here, and so are you, and he can't help but think that maybe, just maybe, the galaxy might be giving him a second chance.

He takes a deep breath.

There's no harm in taking a detour, he thinks.

He walks, following the familiar path, trying not to think too hard about what he's doing.

It doesn't take him long to reach the building. He hesitates in front of it, looking up at the facade. It looks just as it did the last time he was here. Same lobby, same doorman, same lift. They haven’t even fixed the panel that's been sticking, and it takes a good deal of force for him to press the button for your floor.

The doors close, and he stares at his reflection, at the dark circles under his eyes, the scruff that has accumulated on his cheeks and chin, the lines that have appeared at the corners of his eyes and across his forehead. And then his gaze wanders to the ports and implants, the reminder of what was taken from him and what he was left with. He traces the outline of one with his thumb, remembering how he used to be.

He looks tired.

What are you doing? He asks himself.

He's not sure what he's expecting, doesn't have a plan for what will happen. All he knows is that he can't get the image of you out of his head. He imagines you coming home from work, and him being there, waiting. Would you be surprised? Happy? What would you say? What would he say?

Echo sighs.

He's an idiot.

The lift dings, and the doors slide open.

Your apartment is halfway down the hall, and Echo's stomach clenches with each step he takes. He reaches it and stands outside for a minute, running his fingers over the metal door, staring at the numbers painted on the surface.

It's just a door, he tells himself. Nothing special. Just a door.

His hand moves on its own, hovering over the bell. He waits, listens. There's no sound coming from inside, no music, no voices. Maybe you're not home yet.

Or maybe you're out. Maybe you're not alone.

He rings the bell and holds his breath, counting the seconds.

One. Two. Three. Four.

Nothing.

Echo rings again, this time holding the button down for a few extra seconds, listening for any sign of movement.

There's nothing.

The knot in his stomach tightens, and he releases the button, letting out the breath he'd been holding. He runs a hand over his face, feeling the heat of his skin through his glove. He's sweating.

Well, that's it, then.

He'd thought he was prepared for this possibility, but hearing the silence behind the door and knowing that you aren't home has shaken him more than he anticipated.

Maybe this is for the best, he thinks. It's better this way. Safer.

But the disappointment is palpable.

He's not sure what to do. He considers waiting a little longer, just to make sure, but the more he thinks about it, the more stupid it seems. He doesn't belong here anymore. He shouldn't be here, standing outside your door, hoping for something that won't happen.

He needs to go.

As Echo turns away from the door, a voice calls out behind him.

"Can I help you?"

For half a second, he's sure he imagined it, sure that it's just his brain playing tricks on him, taunting him. But then the voice speaks again.

"Are you looking for someone?"

Echo spins around, heart leaping into his throat, and there you are.

Standing there, a few paces away, is the woman he's been dreaming about, the one he's thought about every day, the one he's missed so much that it hurts.

Your hair is different, longer than he's ever seen it, pulled away from your face. You're wearing a dress, something he's only seen a handful of times, and your makeup is impeccable, but he can still see the hint of tiredness behind your eyes. He wonders how many hours you've put in at work this week, how much you've had to fight for your clients.

But the most noticeable change is that you're looking at him. Your datapad is held loosely in your hands, a bag of groceries on your hip, and you’re staring at him, your brow furrowed in confusion.

He doesn’t blame you.

This is a strange situation, and you must be wondering who the hell is standing in front of you, why they rang your bell and then walked away.

"Um," Echo says, suddenly aware that he hasn't spoken. He clears his throat, trying to gather his wits. He didn't think this through. "Hi."

You blink, clearly not expecting that response.

"Hi," you reply, warily.

Echo tries to say something, but the words won't come.

He's frozen in place, staring at you, unable to do anything except take in your appearance, drinking in the sight of you. He didn't realize how much he needed to see you until now, and the relief he feels is overwhelming.

"Do I..." You trail off, studying him carefully. "Do I know you?"

He feels his heart break, just a little.

You don't recognize him. Of course, you wouldn't. It's been so long, and he's not the same man you knew. His face is one of thousands, identical and interchangeable. He doesn't even look like a clone anymore, not really. He's more machine than man, now, and he has no idea how he expected you to see him.

"Yeah," he manages to say, his voice hoarse. "Yeah, you do."

You raise your eyebrows, waiting. When he doesn't say anything else, you take a step towards him, squinting a little. He can feel the tension in his body, can sense your scrutiny. It's not comfortable, but it's not unpleasant, either.

"Sorry," you say, sounding frustrated, "I can't quite —"

You stop, your eyes widening, and Echo can see the exact moment it clicks.

"Oh," you gasp, covering your mouth with a shaking hand. The motion makes the paper bag of groceries on your arm start to slip, and Echo rushes forward to catch it, placing it on the floor by your feet. He stands up, and he can feel your eyes on him, can see the tears beginning to well up, can hear your breathing quicken.

He waits.

"Echo?" Your voice is soft, tentative, like you're not sure if he's real or not. Like he's some kind of ghost. He's not sure that's not what he is.

"Hey, cyar'ika," he says. His voice cracks, and he clears his throat again.

A small, incredulous laugh escapes you.

"Hi," you breathe. You cover your mouth again, trying to stifle the sob that rises from your chest. "I —" 

You let out a shaky breath, and then another, and then all of a sudden, you're crying, tears streaming down your face. Your hands come up to wipe them away, but more keep falling, and Echo is overwhelmed with the desire to hold you, to take away the pain and the sadness, to make everything right. But he doesn't know if he's allowed, doesn't know if it would be welcome. So instead, he just stands there, helpless.

"I'm sorry," you hiccup, wiping your face with the back of your hand. "I can't believe it's you."

He smiles at that, his own eyes burning. "It's me," he confirms. "I'm here."

You're shaking your head, your eyes never leaving his face, as if you're afraid that he might disappear if you look away. He doesn't blame you, and he does his best to stay as still as possible. The last thing he wants is to scare you, or make you think he's going to leave. Not when he just got here.

"I thought..." You start, and then trail off.

"I know."

You swallow hard, taking a moment to compose yourself. "I thought you were dead."

Echo winces. He's heard those words from a lot of people, but coming from you, they hurt. "Yeah, I, uh... I thought so, too, for a while."

He sees the look of horror that crosses your face, the way your eyes grow wet again, and he wishes he hadn't said it.

"How... How long have you been back?" you ask. Your voice is quiet, strained, and Echo can hear the question underneath, the one you're afraid to ask. The one that makes his stomach twist into knots.

"Not long," he answers, trying to keep his tone even, light. "Only a couple months, really."

"Months?" you repeat, incredulous. "You've been back for months?"

Echo shifts uncomfortably and nods. "Yeah."

You stare at him, your mouth opening and closing as you search for words. "And... And you didn't comm me?"

"I, uh... No."

You let out a sharp exhale and turn away, bringing your hands to your face, and he can see that you're starting to shake again. You're silent for a moment, and he can feel his heart pounding, can feel the blood rushing in his ears. His stomach churns, and he feels like he's going to be sick.

"Why?" Your voice is tight, controlled. It's the same voice you use when you're working, the one you use to keep yourself calm, to keep yourself from getting angry.

"I just... I wasn't..." Echo trails off, not sure what to say. I wasn't sure if I was coming back? That's true, but not the whole truth. I wasn't sure you'd want to see me? Also true, but also not the full answer. I wasn't sure I was worth it? Yeah, that's the one.

But he can't say it.

He doesn't know if it's fear or guilt or shame, but whatever it is, it keeps the words stuck in his throat. You're waiting for an answer, and he's not sure he has one.

"Echo," you say, your voice a warning. You turn to face him again, and he can see the hurt and frustration in your eyes. He wants to hold you, wants to apologize, wants to take it all back. But he doesn't move. He can't.

"Why?" you repeat, more forcefully this time.

"I didn't want to bother you," he says. It's the best answer he can come up with, and the worst part is that it's also true. At least, that's what he tells himself.

But the moment the words leave his mouth, he knows it's the wrong thing to say. You stiffen, and then your jaw tightens. He can tell that you're barely holding it together, and he wants to say something, to explain, but he doesn't get the chance.

"You didn't want to bother me," you repeat, and Echo can hear the anger in your voice, can feel the sting of it. "I'm sorry, did I not make it clear how much I care about you?"

"No, you did," Echo says, backtracking, trying to placate you. "You did, I promise."

"Then please explain how you thought keeping me in the dark about the fact that the man I love was still alive and well was not a bother."

The word "love" hits him like a punch to the gut.

You love him. You still love him. You're still here, and you're still loving him, even after everything. He doesn't understand, doesn't know why. Doesn't know how. But he doesn't have time to think about it, not with the way you're looking at him, the hurt and confusion clear on your face.

"That's not what I meant," he says, his voice low, pleading. "It's not that. I promise."

You let out a shaky sigh, crossing your arms over your chest. "What's the difference, then?"

Echo opens his mouth, and then closes it again, not knowing what to say.

"I mourned you," you say. Your voice is soft, almost a whisper, but it sounds loud in the silence between the two of you. "I loved you, and I mourned you, and I was doing okay, and then you just show up, and act like it's no big deal, like I didn't spend weeks, months waiting for you to come back, hoping you'd come back, and..."

Your voice cracks, and a fresh wave of tears begins to roll down your cheeks. Echo reaches out to brush them away, and you flinch. The motion stings, but he doesn't say anything, doesn't push it. He lets his hand drop to his side.

"I'm sorry," he says. "I didn't... I didn't mean to hurt you."

"Yeah, well, you did," you say, sniffling.

The words hit him harder than he expects, and he feels his throat tighten.

"I didn't know what to say," he admits, his voice breaking. "I didn't know what to do."

"Why not?" you ask, and your anger has softened, turning into something else. "Did I do something wrong?"

"No!" Echo says quickly. "Of course not. You were perfect. You were... You were amazing."

You look at him, and there's a vulnerability in your eyes that makes him want to gather you in his arms and never let go. He thinks maybe he should. But before he can, you speak.

"So what happened?" you ask. Your voice is quiet, but Echo can hear the desperation, the need for an answer. "Where were you? Why didn't you come back?"

“I—“ Echo looks around, suddenly aware of the hallway and the closed doors surrounding him, closing in on him. The space is too small, the walls are too close, the air is too thick. He feels trapped, like the world is closing in around him, and he takes a step back.

"Can we... Can we not do this out here?" he asks, trying not to let his voice betray his panic.

You study him for a moment, considering. He doesn't blame you. After all, he'd shown up out of the blue, and you had every right to be suspicious. You're still crying, but there's a steeliness in your gaze, and he can tell you're weighing your options, deciding if he's worth it or not. His heart hammers against his ribs as he waits, praying that you'll give him a chance.

Finally, you let out a sigh and nod.

"Yeah," you say, "sure."

You bend down to pick up the groceries, and Echo rushes forward, scooping them up before you can. You look at him, surprised.

"Let me help," he says. "Please."

You hesitate, and Echo can see the worry on your face, but then you nod, fumbling for the keypad. The lock clicks open, and you push the door open, motioning for him to go ahead.

He steps inside, and the familiar scent of your apartment hits him hard. He hadn't realized how much he'd missed it, how much he'd come to associate it with safety and comfort. It makes his chest ache, and he takes a moment to steady himself, willing the tears to stop.

Your apartment is the same, and yet so different.

It's still cozy, but there's a coldness to the air, a lack of warmth. The curtains are closed, and the room is dark, the only light coming from the dim bulb above the stove in the kitchen. There are dishes stacked in the sink, and a few pieces of dirty laundry have been discarded on the couch. The floor is littered with shoes and other miscellaneous items, as if someone came home and kicked everything off their feet, leaving it all in a pile. Echo’s brow furrows at the mess, and he wonders when you started to let the place get this way.

"I'm sorry," you say, sounding embarrassed. You take the bag of groceries from him, your cheeks flushed. "I wasn't expecting company."

"Don't worry about it," he assures you.

"Here, let me..." You trail off, disappearing down the hall, and a moment later, he hears a door slam shut.

Echo stands there, unsure of what to do. His gaze wanders around the room, taking everything in, trying to find something to occupy himself with. It feels like years since he's been here, and the sensation is both comforting and strange. He remembers the nights he spent curled up next to you on the couch, the quiet mornings in the kitchen, the lazy afternoons spent in bed.

He shakes his head, trying to focus on the present.

You're back now, and he needs to concentrate.

He takes a seat at the kitchen table, drumming his fingers against the wood.

It's quiet, but Echo can hear you moving around, and he wonders if you're trying to clean up, trying to make the place a little more presentable. He doesn't care about any of that. He cares about you.

And he doesn't know what to say.

He runs his hand over his face, pressing the heel of his palm into his eye, trying to think. He's rehearsed this moment in his head, has imagined all the different ways it could go.

And now that it's actually happening, he can't remember a single one.

He's such an idiot.

The minutes pass, and you finally return. He hears you enter the room, the soft sound of your footsteps, but he can't bring himself to look up. Not yet.

"Echo," you say, and he can hear the hesitation in your voice. "What happened?"

"I don't know where to start," he confesses, dropping his hand and glancing up at you.

You've changed into something more comfortable, a pair of sweatpants and your favorite sweater, and your face is scrubbed clean, makeup-free. It's nice to see you this way, a reminder of the times you shared together, and the sight makes him smile.

"Why are you smiling?"

"Nothing, it's just..." He pauses, his eyes wandering over you. "I forgot how you looked in sweatpants."

You roll your eyes, but there's a hint of amusement on your face. "Seriously? You're sitting here, after being missing for months, and you're making fun of my fashion choices?"

"I'm not making fun of you," he says, chuckling. The pressure in his chest eases slightly, and he takes a breath. "I just meant that I missed seeing you this way."

You let out a quiet, disbelieving laugh, and then shake your head.

"You're unbelievable," you mutter.

Echo smiles, and for a moment, he feels normal. As if the last year never happened, and this was just a day like any other. As if he'd just come home from a mission, and you'd greet him with a kiss, and everything would be fine.

But then you sigh, and the moment is over.

"Look, I get that this is... Well, I'm sure this isn't what you were expecting," you say. You move to sit across from him, leaning your elbows on the table and resting your chin in your hands. "But we can't keep pretending like nothing happened. You have to talk to me."

Echo stares at you, his eyes taking in the familiar lines of your face, the curve of your lips, the color of your eyes. They aren’t as bright as he remembered, not as full of life, and the realization breaks his heart. This isn't how it's supposed to be.

"Okay," he begins, clearing his throat. "So, uh, this is going to be a lot."

"That's okay," you say gently. You give him a reassuring nod, and Echo feels a swell of gratitude for you. "Just... Start at the beginning, and we'll go from there."

"Right, the beginning." Echo nods, trying to organize his thoughts, and then he starts to speak.

He tells you everything, from the moment the explosion happened, to the moment he woke up and found himself in Rex's arms, everything in between. He tells you about his injuries, the surgeries, the physical therapy. He tells you about his time with the Batch, his newfound abilities, the things he's been able to do, the things he's learned. He talks about the missions, the jobs, the danger they've faced, and the risks they've taken. He tells you about the planets, the people, the experiences. He tries to leave nothing out, even the hard parts. The loss, the pain, the fear. He doesn't want to spare you any of it.

You sit there and listen, asking questions when necessary, but mostly staying silent. And when he's done, he sits there, feeling a strange sense of relief. He hadn't realized how much he needed to talk about everything, how much he'd been holding in. And he hadn't realized how good it would feel to tell you. To have someone who cared, someone he trusted, who knew him better than anyone.

When the words run out, and the room is silent, you let out a long, slow exhale. You sit there, your hands folded together, your gaze fixed on the tabletop, and Echo waits, not sure what to expect. But the longer the silence drags on, the more worried he gets.

"Cyar'ika?" he asks, his voice hesitant.

You take a breath and look up at him, and Echo is startled to see that your eyes are glassy, and there are fresh tear tracks running down your cheeks.

"Sorry," you apologize, wiping at them with your sleeve. "I'm not — I just..."

You take another breath, and then let it out, composing yourself. "Thank you," you say. "For telling me. I know that can't have been easy."

"It wasn't," Echo admits, and his throat tightens a little. "But I'm glad I did."

You offer him a small smile, but it doesn’t reach your eyes. You look like you’re far away, lost in your own thoughts, and Echo has a feeling you're not fully present, not in the moment. And he doesn't blame you. His words can't have been easy to hear.

"Is there anything else you want to know?" he asks, trying to break the silence.

You glance at him, your eyes focusing, and then look away, your jaw clenching. Echo can see the emotion on your face, can tell that you're struggling to stay calm, to hold it together. You've always been good at that, he thinks.

"I just..." You pause, taking a shaky breath, and Echo can see the tears forming in your eyes again. "I just don't understand."

He frowns, confused. "What do you mean?"

You close your eyes, taking a moment to collect yourself. Then, you stand up and begin pacing around the kitchen, your hands clasped behind your back. You move slowly, deliberately, your gaze fixed on the floor, like you're trying to make sense of something, figure something out. 

Echo watches you, feeling uneasy. You're not giving anything away, and the silence is starting to get to him. He's never seen you in the courtroom, but he imagines this is the stance you take when you're interrogating a witness. 

It's effective.

"Can you say something, please?" he asks. He knows he sounds desperate, but he doesn't care.

"I'm thinking," you say, and Echo bites his lip.

He feels like he's going to crawl out of his skin. He wants to get up, to follow you around the room, try to coax a response out of you. He wants to make this better, to make this right. But he knows that pushing you won't help, so he stays seated, trying to keep his patience.

 You continue to pace, your expression blank, and the seconds tick by, the only sound the muffled noises of the city outside. It feels like an eternity has passed when you finally stop, standing in front of him, your arms crossed.

"I can't believe you thought I wouldn't want to see you," you say. Your voice is low, almost a whisper, and there's an edge to it that Echo doesn't recognize. It's not anger, not exactly. It's something else, something deeper.

"I know," he replies, his voice just as quiet.

"I thought you were dead," you say, the words coming out in a rush. "I grieved you. I mourned you. And then you show up, and you're... You're alive, and you're here, and you think the best thing to do is to leave me alone?"

"I didn't know what would happen," Echo explains, trying to keep his tone calm. "I wasn't sure if I was coming back, and I didn't want to —"

"No," you say sharply, cutting him off. "That's not an excuse. That's bullshit, and you know it."

Echo swallows, and nods, not sure what to say.

"We made promises," you continue, and Echo can hear the anger in your voice, can see the frustration on your face. "To each other. We talked about our future, we said things that... We made things that were real, and then you just decided it was too much, and you walked away. What the hell is that?"

"I'm sorry," Echo says around the lump forming in his throat. "I shouldn't have —"

"No," you interrupt, your eyes burning. "You shouldn't have."

Echo looks at you, and he feels like he's going to shatter. You’re staring at him with such intensity, and there's an anger in your gaze that he hasn't seen before. It's so different from the gentle look you usually give him, and it makes him ache.

"I didn't mean to hurt you," he says. "I swear, I didn't."

"Then why did you?" you ask, and there's a note of pleading in your voice. “I spent so long wondering, worrying, and you just... You didn't care."

"Of course I did," he argues. "It wasn't about that."

"Then what was it about, Echo?" you demand. "What was so important that you thought you couldn't tell me? That you couldn't comm me, or send a message, or do anything that would have let me know you were alive? That would have told me you were okay?"

"I didn't think —"

"What, that I'd care? That I'd worry? That I'd miss you? That I'd wonder where you were, and if you were okay, and what the hell happened to you?" you say, your voice rising.

Echo can feel the frustration building inside him, and he knows he shouldn't respond, knows that getting angry won't help, but the words tumble out before he can stop them. "I'm sorry," he snaps. "I wasn't exactly thinking clearly."

"That's not an excuse," you snap back, and Echo blinks, shocked. You're the most level-headed person he's ever met, and he's never heard you yell before.

"Yeah, well, it's the best one I've got," he says.

"Echo, I loved you," you say, and the past tense stings. "When Fives told me what happened to you, I —" Your voice catches, and the fight goes out of him. He can see the pain on your face, the hurt in your eyes, and he can't help but feel responsible. "I can't even describe it. It felt like my whole world was ending. And I don’t blame you for doing your duty, but I do blame you for not coming back to me."

"I know," he whispers. "I'm sorry. I really am."

You shake your head, turning away from him. "Why didn't you comm me?"

Echo hesitates. He doesn't want to admit his fears, his worries, the insecurities that have plagued him. He doesn't want to tell you how much he doubted, how much he doubted you. It feels too vulnerable, too raw. And it would only make you feel worse. But the longer the silence stretches, the more you deserve the truth. And he can't avoid it forever.

"I didn't think I was worth it," he says, his voice low. He can feel the heat in his cheeks, the sting of embarrassment. He can't look at you, doesn't want to see the pity, the disappointment, the anger. "I didn't think I was worth it."

You turn to face him, your expression softening.

"You were all I had left," he says. He feels exposed, and it's not a comfortable feeling, but he can't stop now. Not with the way you're looking at him. Not when he's so close to fixing this, to getting you back. "After everything that happened, I just... I couldn't bring myself to do it. I didn't think you'd want to see me."

"You really thought I'd just leave you?"

Echo can hear the hurt in your voice, and he's surprised at the sharpness of it. He expected to be met with some amount of anger, but he didn't expect it to cut so deep. He didn't think his insecurities would upset you so much. He's used to it, by now. After everything he's been through, the doubts and worries have become a constant, an almost comforting presence. But you were never supposed to know about them.

"It's not that," he says. "I know you wouldn't have left me. It's just... I didn't want to drag you down with me."

"That's stupid," you reply. There's no malice in your voice, but there's no sympathy, either. "What makes you think I couldn't handle it?"

"It's not about what you could handle," Echo says. "You didn't sign up for this. You didn't sign up for any of it."

"I signed up for you," you argue, and Echo is startled by the fierceness of your tone.

"And look at what that got you."

You fall silent, and Echo regrets the words the second they leave his mouth. He's always known he wasn't good enough for you, but it's different to actually say it out loud. It makes it real. And he's not sure he's ready for that. But you're looking at him like you can't believe he said it, and the disappointment in your eyes makes him feel even worse. 

Your eyes rove over him, taking in the scarring, the metal implants, the ports and wires, the armor. You look like you’re seeing him for the first time, and the disgust and fear he’d thought might appear are nowhere to be found, just a profound sense of sadness and resignation.

"Oh, Echo," you breathe. The words are quiet, but they feel like a slap, and he has to look away, not wanting to meet your gaze.

"I'm not the man you knew," he says. He sounds defeated, even to his own ears. His eyes are burning, and he has to fight to keep the tears from falling. He hates how weak he feels, how small, how vulnerable. "I can't be. I'm... I'm not him anymore."

"Yes, you are," you insist. You reach out and take his hand, squeezing gently, and the sensation makes him jump. He'd almost forgotten how warm you are, how soft. How safe. He wants to hold on, to pull you close, to never let go. "You're still the same man, the same Echo, I just..."

"What?" he asks, when you trail off. "You just what?"

You sigh, dropping his hand and running your fingers through your hair, tugging lightly. The familiar gesture makes him ache. "I don't know, Echo," you admit. "I'm... I'm sad. And I'm angry. But I'm mostly just... Confused."

"Confused about what?"

"I'm confused as to why you didn't come back to me," you say. "I'm confused as to why you thought I'd want anything else."

"I thought you deserved better," he says, the words sounding hollow, even to his own ears. "I thought you deserved someone who was whole, who could give you a normal life, who didn't have a hundred years of baggage and trauma to deal with. And I was terrified that you already had that."

"Had what?"

"A normal life," he answers. "Without me. And the more I thought about it, the more I convinced myself it was true."

"It's not," you say. Your voice is quiet, but firm, and Echo looks at you, searching for any trace of doubt, of hesitation, of insincerity. But all he finds is determination, and it makes his heart clench. The intensity in your gaze is too much, and he has to look away. His eyes trail over the walls, the ceiling, the floor, lingering on the groceries on the table, the dishes in the sink, the empty bottles of wine shoved into the trash, the pile of laundry on the couch. There’s a dent in the wall that wasn't there the last time he was here, and the carpet is worn. He wonders when that happened.

He feels a tug on his arm, and then you're reaching up to cup his face, your hands soft and warm. You turn his head to face you, your thumb stroking his cheek. The touch is gentle, comforting, and Echo can't stop the sigh that escapes him. It's been so long since someone touched him like this, and it's nice. It's more than nice. It's familiar. It's safe. It's home.

"I only wanted you," you whisper.

"Even after everything?" he asks. He doesn't mean to sound so incredulous, but he can't help it. He's spent so long convincing himself that you were better off without him, and now, hearing you say the opposite, hearing you say the words he'd only ever hoped for, the ones he'd tried to convince himself were true... It's a lot to take in.

"Even after everything," you affirm.

"You could have had anyone," he says. "Why me?"

"Because I love you," you answer, as if it's the simplest thing in the galaxy. As if it's the most obvious thing in the universe. "And I don't want anyone else."

"Cyar'ika..." His voice cracks, and the tears are falling freely now. You wipe them away, and the touch makes his chest ache.

"I've never stopped loving you, Echo," you say. Your voice is barely audible, but Echo hears it. And it's the best sound he's ever heard. "And I don't plan on stopping now."

"I'm sorry," he says. "I'm sorry I left you, and I'm sorry I didn't comm you, and I'm sorry I was such a coward, and I'm —"

"Shh," you murmur, cutting him off. "I forgive you."

Echo can't speak. He's not sure he can move, can't even breathe. The relief is overwhelming, and it threatens to knock him off his feet. His chest tightens, and the tears won't stop falling, and he doesn't know what to do. He's missed you so much, has regretted leaving every single day, and now that you're here, now that he has you back, he can't find the words to express how grateful he is, how relieved, how happy.

"You really thought I was going to leave you?" you ask, and Echo can hear the note of humor in your voice, can see the ghost of a smile on your face. It's reassuring, and he lets himself smile, too.

"Honestly? Yes," he admits.

"Never," you reply.

Echo leans down and rests his forehead against yours, closing his eyes and breathing deeply. You move your hands down his face, brushing the tears away with your thumbs, before bringing them around his neck, wrapping your arms around him. He moves to do the same, pulling you closer and wrapping his arms around your waist. You let out a quiet gasp of surprise, and Echo chuckles, holding you tighter.

"I missed you," he whispers, and it feels good to say the words out loud. "So much."

"I missed you, too," you say, your breath warm against his neck. You tilt your head and press a kiss against his throat, and Echo feels his heart stutter. "More than I can say."

Echo hums and pulls away, bringing his hand up to brush the hair away from your face. Your skin is warm, and soft, and he leans in and presses a kiss against your forehead, savoring the contact. You sigh, and he can't resist the urge to kiss you again, this time on the cheek.

"Echo," you murmur, letting out a shaky breath.

He kisses the corner of your mouth, and then your jaw, and your grip on his neck tightens, your fingers digging into the fabric of his blacks. He moves down your throat, trailing kisses along the column of your neck, and you gasp.

"I missed you, too," he murmurs, and you laugh.

"Yeah, I got that," you say. "Now, will you please kiss me?"

Echo smiles and obliges.

The kiss is soft and sweet, and it tastes like home. He cups the back of your neck, his scomp moving to rest on your hip, and you let out a pleased noise, your hands sliding down to his shoulders. The warmth of your mouth, the way your lips part, the little gasps and sighs you make, it all makes him want to get closer, to be nearer.

You break the kiss, and Echo lets out a quiet whimper. You chuckle and rest your head on his shoulder, and Echo brings his hand up to stroke your hair, his fingers combing through the strands. You sigh and lean into his touch, and he can't help the contented smile that spreads across his face.

"I'm glad you're here," you murmur. "I'm glad you came back."

"Me, too," he says. He tilts your head up and presses a kiss to your temple, his lips lingering. You close your eyes and nuzzle his neck, and Echo sighs, holding you close. It feels so good to have you in his arms again, to be able to hold you, and he wishes he could stay here forever. But the reality of the situation catches up with him, and he can't help the wave of guilt that washes over him.

"I'm sorry, Cyar'ika," he says.

You frown, and pull away slightly. "What are you apologizing for?"

"I didn't think this through," he admits. "I... I didn't know what was going to happen, and now..." He pauses, letting out a frustrated sigh. "I just... I'm sorry. I’m leaving soon, and I know it's going to be hard, and I know you're going to have to say goodbye again, and I'm —"

"Echo," you interrupt, and your voice is firm. You put your hand on his chest, and he can feel the heat of it, even through the layers of armor and clothing. "I know what I signed up for. I'm not expecting anything different."

"But —"

"No," you cut him off. "No buts. I knew what this was, Echo. And I still want it."

"But you shouldn't have to," Echo argues. "I don't want to put you through that."

"Well, it's a little late for that," you reply. Your tone is sharp, and Echo winces. "Look, Echo. I know the situation isn't ideal, but I'm not going to walk away because it's hard. And I'm not going to stop caring just because it hurts." You look at him, and the determination in your gaze makes his heart skip a beat. "You're worth it, okay? No matter what."

"Cyar'ika —"

"No," you say, shaking your head. "You're not changing my mind. You can try, but it's not going to work. So don't waste your time." You give him a stern look, and then your face softens. "Okay?"

"Okay," Echo agrees. He knows it's futile to argue. He's never been able to say no to you. Not when it matters. "I'm still sorry, though."

You roll your eyes, and then stand on your toes and give him a quick kiss. "You're lucky I love you," you say, and the words make him feel lighter.

"Yeah, I am," he agrees, grinning.

"So, what now?" you ask.

Echo shrugs, suddenly feeling overwhelmed. He's been so focused on finding you, on convincing you to forgive him, on making things right, that he hasn't thought about what comes next. The prospect of it is both exhilarating and terrifying, and he doesn't know where to start. There's so much to do, and so little time. And he doesn't want to waste another second.

"Do you want to stay?" you offer.

"Stay?"

"Here," you clarify. "For a while. I don't know how long you can, but..." You pause, a flush spreading across your cheeks. “I was going to make dinner. If you wanted to stay."

"Dinner?" Echo repeats, and he can't hide the excitement in his voice. The idea of a home-cooked meal is so far removed from his life now, so distant, that the thought of it almost makes him lightheaded. "Really?"

You laugh, and the sound fills him with warmth. "Yes, Echo. Really."

"What are you making?" he asks. The question sounds childish, and he can't believe how eager he is, how excited.

"Just a simple dish," you say. You move towards the counter and begin putting the groceries away, and Echo follows you, a smile spreading across his face. While you tell him about the recipe, he moves toward your sink, picking up a dish and turning the water on. You look over at him, and the fondness in your eyes makes him blush. "You don't have to do that, Echo."

"I know," he replies. "I want to."

"Well, alright then."

The two of you work together, talking and laughing as you wash the dishes and prepare the food. Echo feels lighter than he has in months, and it's a relief to be here with you, to have something normal and familiar to do. Something so domestic, so ordinary, and yet, so special.

He wants to remember this.

When the food is ready, you gesture to the table, and Echo takes a seat. You sit across from him, and for a moment, the two of you just look at each other. He's missed you, missed this. Missed being here, missed having someone who knew him, someone he could trust. Someone he could love.

You're both quiet, and Echo can see the wheels turning in your head, can see the way your eyes dart over him, taking everything in. You're cataloging, committing him to memory too. The realization hits him, and his chest tightens. He'll be leaving soon, and you're doing what you can to make sure you won't forget him. It's a sobering thought, and he's not sure how to handle it.

"Hey," you say, and Echo looks up, meeting your gaze. "It's okay. We'll be fine."

"How did you know?" he asks, startled.

You shrug. "It's written all over your face."

"I'm sorry," he murmurs. "I wish I could stay."

"It's okay," you repeat. “We have the night, and that’s more than enough. For now, let's just enjoy the time we have."

Echo nods.

You're right.

You always are.

You smile, and it's so beautiful, so genuine, that it takes his breath away. You reach across the table and take his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. He squeezes back, and you lean forward, resting your elbows on the table and putting your chin in your hand. The way you're looking at him, the affection in your eyes, it makes him feel like he's the only thing that matters, like he’s home.

And, right now, he is.

He's missed this.

He's missed you.

And as the two of you sit there, enjoying each other's company, Echo knows he's made the right choice. He knows that coming back was worth it, that finding you, fixing things, making things right, it's all been worth it. And he knows that, no matter what, he'll be back.

He'll find his way back to you.

Taglist: @baddest-batchers @covert1ntrovert @stellarbit @bruh-myguy-what @qvnthesia

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[elvenbeard]

Old and Happy

😭 my feels have been all over the place since I finally finished this! Don't even remember when I started, as I kept working on and off on it over a couple of months. But I think it was after writing something particularly angsty and going "you know what, they will get their happy ending though, so it's all good".

Some details and thoughts below the read more cause it got long hhhh ;A;

This is in about 2087 maybe, roughly "ten years later". Vince changed his hair, ditched the rattail for good (or again xD) for something still colorful but a bit more easy to style. But he might change it up again, he's done so repeatedly and still likes to experiment with his hair.

Not visible, he probably would've added some elements to his back tattoo after surviving all of 2077. Johnny's tattoo he covered up as well, he would've done that first probably before the back piece. Adding some things here and there over time, with colors and patterns and wings, some cherry blossoms ('cause a thing of beauty will never truly fade away - hence just not getting laser removal but covering it with something that suits him more, but keeping some elements like the J and V visible). It started with three roses below the "V" as a little homage to Jackie, and 2077 as the year that finally put him on the right track in his life, even if it almost killed him in the process.

Overall he is a healthier weight than he was for most of his life, and finally got some therapy he desperately needed to deal with all the crap he went through pre-2077 already. He's not dyeing his first grey hairs because hell, that he's even still around to get some is amazing with his line of work and life story. And he realized that there's no need to be super well put togeher 24/7, clean shaven and whatnot, when you know you're just gonna be hanging out with your man and cat all weekend (and actually allowing yourself to something like that - leisure time and pizza in bed, unheard of to 2077!Vince). He's doing good and feels good and comfortable, physically and mentally.

Kerry also changed, also embracing the dad bod over abs, probably still experimenting with his looks a lot now and then whenever the label feels like they need to draw attention to him for whatever reason. But to the brown eyes he returned in 2078 already in my headcanon for the Sun ending timeline, and he stuck with them.

Overall I think he might finally care a little less about other people's opinions too, the buzz and the drama, cause he knows that at the end of the day there's always gonna be someone waiting for him at home who loves him unconditionally. He's a bit calmer and at ease, but of course still up to no good whenever he gets the chance to stir shit up xD Vince and him remain to be a dangerous duo you don't wanna mess with. At that point Vince is a well-respected, even if somewhat elusive, fixer, so he's probably even more dangerous now than he used to be as a mere merc with an arsenal of connections and resources at his disposal that can almost rival Kerry's.

I also gave Kerry a lil new cyberware piece on his hand - he is an old man and I think, using his hands as a musician on the daily, at some point there's just gonna be some wear and tear to your bones and joints only tech can fix anymore... Especially if you're stubborn and refuse to retire cause no, you're not done yet, you still have so much to yell into the world and music to make, stuff to add to your legacy and all.

Last but not least: Nibbles is an old lady already as well here, but living her best life with her dads spoiling her rotten, of course!

And then öalkshjdfagsdföasgdfaösfh ;___;

Y'know, "to bad decisions" and all, and two very different pieces still fitting together perfectly somehow, and light and shadows, and the sun and moon and yeah. ;___; Brb crying, the feels are back xD

Thanks so much for reading if you made it this far!! They mean so much to me and aösdjhfajsfhasfk could go on forever about every little detail xD On to the next drawing!

[bumblebeesfromvenus]

Mo ghràdh mòr 🩶

Johnny "Soap" MacTavish x reader

A/N: this was supposed to be cute and all fluff but um... I spiraled. It's angsty, with a happy ending, though!!! I love Johnny sm 🤧

~Fi 🐝

《Warnings》: Domestic angst, mw3 is NOT canon in this house, the TF141 being the absolute best bois, Simon being the best best friend, HAPPY ENDING 🥳

《Word count》: 1.9k

Please don't copy my work! I put a lot of effort and heart into the things I write.

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"Johnny?"

"Yeah, bonnie?" He was stood in front of the pantry, searching for something to snack on as his body slightly angled itself towards the sound of your voice while his eyes were dead set on finding some food before dinner.

He was met with silence on your end and quiet shuffling, his arm already pushing to close the pantry when he felt your arms wrap around his middle. A sweet and giddy smile graced his face as did a pink tint at the familiar feeling of your cheek pressed against his back.

"I love you, s'all." You mumbled, your arms stretching over his taught stomach.

"Oh, that's all, aye?" Johnny teased lightly, although the love seeping from his honeyed voice failed to portray the tone as he intended, the calloused pads of his fingers going to gently rub over your hands.

"Actually, it's everything. 'Cause you're my everything, and I love you so much."

The soft hum of your voice against his skin sent a pleasant tingly feeling down his spine, one that crawled its way into his chest and exploded like millions of fireworks.

"I love ye too, my bonnie lass." He said softly, giving your hands a gentle squeeze.

"But I wonder," Johnny began with that ever so familiar smirk ringing in his voice, "any reason yer no' sayin' it tae ma face?"

You grumbled something illegible into his back, and he could feel your brows scrunching together, which only made his cheshire like grin widen. He gently pried your hands from his stomach and turned around to face you before he wrapped your arms back around his middle.

Your chin was resting on his chest as you looked up at him with those beautiful eyes of yours, and everything in him melted.

"You weren't facing me, that's why." You replied sweetly as one of hid hands settled on your cheek, gently stroking the soft skin, while the other found its place on your hip.

"No other reason?" He grinned softly, watching you huff and pout at him.

"I can prove it."

"Yeah? And how would ye prove tha' tae-"

"I love you, Johnny MacTavish. With everything that I am. You might not be perfect, but you're perfect for me." You cut him off, looking into his ocean blue eyes, delivering your confession with every bit of sincerity you had in you.

His face fell, and with the way he turned red and his eyes got misty, you knew he didn't expect something like this.

You were joking around, teasing each other, and then you came along with your sincere love and dropped it on him like a bomb. And at that point Johnny just knew, he knew, it's not like you hadn't said the L-word before or that he ever doubted you, but this felt different. He sniffled and wiped at his nose before looking away from you.

"Steamin' Jesus, hen, ye cannae drop somethin' like tha' on an unsuspecting man." He cleared his throat, trying to discreetly wipe a few stray tears from his eyes. Your hand found his stubbled cheek and gently turned his face back to look at you.

"I mean every damn word." You smiled softly, his lips twitching upwards in a smile. Johnny tiped his head forward and slightly to the side, leaning into your touch and pressing a few small kisses to your palm.

"Ah don't deserve ye, bonnie." He mumbled into your hand with a sigh, nuzzling his face closer to your warm touch. Your brows shot together and you pinched the apple of his cheek.

"Don't say that!" You scolded him, an angry pout settling on your lips.

"Alright, alright." He chuckled softly, putting his hands up in mock surrender before uttering a quiet "c'mere." And pulling you into a loving embrace, held tightly to his chest.

"I love you too, mo ghràdh. I see ma future when I look into yer pretty eyes. It only beats for ye, ah swear." He said quietly, full of love and truth, moving your hand to rest right above his heart to feel the steady and comforting rythym of his blood pumping in his veins. You let out a sigh, having never felt safer than in his arms.

You stayed like this for a while, only until your limbs began to feel heavy and you gently sagged down to the floor with Johnny, backs pressed up against the pantry as you clung to each other still, not wanting to let go.

One arm was snaked around your middle, pulling you flush against his side while his other hand was loosely intertwined with yours as he gently fiddled with your fingers. Your head found its place onto his shoulder, reveling in the sensation of him beside you.

It was a comfortable and pleasant silence as the sun made its journey beyond the horizon, dipping the world into a dark indigo night speckled with the golden spots of the city lights. The lights in your kitchen dimmed, enough to see, but also so you could see outside your windows and watch life pass by for so many others all while all time had seemed to stop for both you and Johnny.

"I... don't mean to ruin the mood but.." you whispered, fearing that if you spoke any louder, your little slice of heaven could shatter beneath your fingertips. You could feel his head shift slightly, looking down at you presumably, which made you go on.

"I was so scared. I was so fucking scared, Johnny, I... I've never felt so helpless in my entire life. When I got that phone call, it was like... like getting my heart ripped out of my chest, and..." you took a breath after your shaky confession, keeping your gaze away from his. You knew that looking into his eyes at this very moment would break the dam, drowning you in a giant flood.

"I couldn't... I couldn't fix it. I had to watch. I don't even remember most of it, it's a big blurr of me wailing like I was the one that was hurt.. and then there were Simon and Kyle... they stopped me from physically falling apart, I think. I felt like I was dying and they both just held me so tight as if to stop the pain..." acid like tears were freely falling down your cheeks but you did everything in your power to keep your voice steady and finally tell Johnny what went on after his accident and the time he was in the hospital.

You glanced up at him when you felt his arms tighten around you, only to be met with tears of his own rolling down his face. You could practically see the lump in his throat from how hard he was trying to swallow it. But Johnny didn't say anything. He couldn't even if he wanted to, so he just held you as tightly as he could without breaking your bones and listened. "John put on his stupid Captain facade... I knew he was trying to be strong for our sake, for my sake, but I wanted to punch him so badly. And I... I was horrible to him that night, screaming obscenities and insults in his face, but he forgave it all." You swallowed, tasting the salt of your tears trickle down the back of your throat.

"Simon temporarily moved in with me. He insisted, there was no changing his mind," you laughed softly between sniffles at how stubborn Simon could be," he slept on that horrible couch for a month just so he could make sure I was okay. He was my rock, you know, just as Kyle and John were, but Simon... he's my best friend. And I wish I could've done something for him, too, he wouldn't even let me sleep on the couch when I offered him the bed and-" your chest was starting to shake from the sobs that racked through you as you clung to Johnny's sweatshirt.

"I'm sure ye did more for 'im than ye know." He croaked through his tightened throat, trying to push that horrid feeling in his chest down as he feared the thin string of composure he had left would snap and wreak a blizzard of emotions upon him.

He held you as you cried, hating the sound of your broken wails and sobs. His head fell back against the door of the pantry with a dull thump as he squeezed his eyes shut and swallowed once more.

Johnny almost hated your cries more than he did the heart wrenching things you'd confessed to him, he couldn't help but feel something cold pierce his heart everytime a new wrangled sound ripped from your throat. The pain he felt watching and hearing you in so much distress neared the agony and searing feeling he'd felt when he got shot.

He hated that it happened, why wasn't he more careful? He hated how much pain he'd caused you and his friends, although he knew it wasn't his fault. The both of you steadied your breathing, still sat on your kitchen floor, as your sobs were replaced by soft ragged breaths.

"I'm sorry." His words felt too loud as they broke through the silence, and he cringed slightly at how his voice sounded, all rough from the strain in his throat.

"Sorry for what?" You sniffled, wiping at your tears.

"I'm sorry for bein' so careless. And stupid. I-... I'm sorry for causin' ye all this pain.." when his voice broke halfway through the sentence, you quickly sat up on your knees and pulled him into a tight hug, his forehead falling onto your shoulder.

"It's not your fault, Johnny. Never, ever, ever is it your fault. It was horrible for you, too- shit, you're the one that got shot." You chuckled sadly, pulling a deep and pleasant rumble from his chest.

His hands were clutched to your waist as you were the one to hold him this time.

"I didn't mean to bring it up this suddenly, but it's just been weighing on me lately..." You mumbled, shifting around from the uncomfortable position you were in.

"S'okay, hen. I suppose it... sorta helps me when ye tell me what happened while I was... you know, out." He ended the sentence with a soft chuckle. You leaned back and looked at his face with a soft smile, gently brushing your thumb over the scar on his chin.

"I'll tell you if you think it'll help.. just not today. I'm exhausted." You giggled and that goofy smile of his was back in its rightful place.

"I think that's enough for one day, aye, lass?" He grinned sleepily, his eyes glazing over with sleep.

"Yeah, let's get to bed. I love you." You said softly, slightly shifting your weight forward to press a kiss to his lips. It was slow and soft, but so sweet it still made your spine tingle. So much emotion and passion was poured into that kiss, you could've sworn you were about to break into tears once more.

"I love ye more, mo ghràdh. More than you could ever know." Johnny replied, mumbling half of it against your mouth, impatient as he was.

"I love you even more than that." You grinned, challenging him a little to lighten the mood. He scoffed with a wide smirk, pulling you into his lap and wrapping his arms tightly around your middle as he teasingly bumped his nose against yours.

"That's impossible."

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First full Johnny fic, wooooo!!

I'm working on something BIG for John, too 👀

I hope you liked it, MWAH <3

More of my works 💫

[silly-writes]

What if reader was an old childhood friend of some of the competitors (ie Courtney, gwen, bridgette, Heather, duncan, Izzy, cody, etc) with said character(s) having strong feelings for before reader moved away just to come back into their life during one season with reader initially unaware of these returning feelings in said camper.

Bonus: What if reader/camper did get together in that one season, only for next season to have a love triangle form involving another character. The camper is aware of said triangle forming though reader might be oblivious due to now having eyes only for first camper. What'd this be like for different people?

Compretitors with returning feelings for childhood best friend reader!

u guys r really feeding me with these prompts I can't even lie this one was a little tricky with all these moving parts! Sorry if some of these are a little angsty and don't really have happy (per say) conclusions, but I'm just doing what I think best fits the character! I only write pure fluff if that what im given. I hope you enjoy anyways anon!

Courtney

Courtney is beyond stricken when she sees you.

What are the odds you both would have signed up for the same shitty reality tv show?

Well, high as Courtney would tell you. You always were very similar even back when you were inseparable as children.

You knew Courtney was always very fond of you before you moved away, so the reunion is very sweet, and heartfelt.

The two of you attempt to spend a lot of time catching up on what you missed out on after you had moved, but on the show there isn't much time for it.

Courtney can't help but think about how absolutely heartbroken she was when you moved away.

I would think with Courtney's determined attitude (plus based on what she says to Gwen during their friendship) she has made too many friends.

So when you moved away, especially since she was little, it sort of felt like the end of the world to her.

I imagine you being around is wildly distracting for her. Despite her returning romantic feelings.

You were the only person who ever had that type of close vulnerable relationship with her, she would do anything to please you, receive attention from you, or keep you in the game.

All of it leads to some very undesirable slip ups from her, which with you is how I imagine she goes home on the island.

She watched you as she got pulled away, she's not going to leave it unsaid this time, she remembers what that feels like, she remembers how isolating and awful it feels.

"I'm going to miss you ______!" She called out to you from the end of the doc of shame.

You waved wildly "I'm going to win this for you Courtney!" You call back.

"No- I mean! I'm going to miss you because I'm in love with you!"

You stand there stunned as she boards the boat and calls out one final thing "You had bet your butt you'll win this for me! I just confessed my love to you on live television!"

You try to call back that you feel the same, but Chris does what Chris does best and gets in the way of a good time. Even if the boat hadn't driven her off before you got the chance to confess back, the motor is loud enough to where she probably couldn't hear you anyways.

By action, you two have fully discussed your feelings, and how everything should go now that you're into each other but still competitors.

You both agree that your first real official date should be after the show is over, so while things aren't technically official by next season, you two are undoubtedly interested in each other and therefore not getting involved with anyone else.

You stick true to that, but Courtney can see Duncan keeps looking at you, and she's not stupid, she would know that punks gazes in and out.

She doesn't bring it up to you, she knows you're generally very dense about those kinds of things.

But eventually, she can't take it anymore and her jealousy starts driving her mad.

She declares that you two are official, and that you very much are dating, which causes some tension between the two of you during action since you both agreed it just wasn't a good idea.

After some fighting, fighting, and more fighting eventually it's you this time taking the walk of shame to the lame-ousine.

Courtney fights her way to you.

"I'm sorry, I didn't expect it to play out this way!" She says sorrowfully.

But you did, you know just how Courtney is, you know how she gets, and while you didn't fully understand why she did what she did you could've guessed that some kind of fight was inevitable. Plus you know how she gets during competitions.

"Hey don't sweat it," you smile "now that I'm not technically on the show, I don't have as much of a problem doing this-" you say and bring her in for a short and sweet kiss.

After years of waiting for this moment, Coutney can't help but freeze up.

You pull away, and head towards the lame-ousine as she calls "I'll win this for you!"

"You had better win this for me! I just kissed you on live television!" You say smiling as you duck into the back seat.

Gwen

Gwen feels nothing but nervous when reuniting with you.

She was happy to see you sure, but her anxiety held her back in how she displayed that happiness.

She's mainly worried that too much time has passed since the two of you knew each other, and that the two of you won't have anything to talk about anymore.

Eventually the two of you slump back together and things go back to the way that they were before you had moved away.

Another reason she was desperately trying to avoid you at first is because of the huge massive crush she used to have on you.

And dang it of course you had to get cuter as you got older!

Just as she realizes that those feelings for you are slipping out of hiding, is also when she realizes that it's already too late.

Once again the two of you are glued at the hip, just like how it used to be.

You, being who you are and were, are wildly oblivious to these feelings because of course you are.

Gwen isn't one to wear her heart on her sleeve, and even though you two are close she is less so with you, she's been burned before, she's not letting that happen again.

The two of you are sitting next to each other at the talent show when it happens.

Heather goes up on stage and says "Originally I was going to dance for you, but instead I want to celebrate team spirit with a collaboration" She holds up a dark notebook with an evil look plastered on her face.

Gwen seems to recognize it and instantly freezes up "Gwen? Are you okay?" You asked, knowing immediately something was off.

"She wouldn't," she says, and then braces herself.

"So with words by Gwen, performance by me, enjoy."

She cleared her throat before beginning "Okay so I've been trying to ignore them. But they're just so cute! I know it's been forever since we've seen each other and in that time they have gotten so hot! Out of all my childhood friends, of course it had to be them."

Gwen dashes away from the bleachers, and Heather seems satisfied.

Of course you run after Gwen to comfort her.

She lamented on and on about how you must think she's such a creep now, and was acting like a total school girl, still writing in a diary.

But of course you didn't feel like that at all, this was Gwen you were talking about here. The cool, collected, funny quiet girl, and you were obsessed with her.

You two start getting a little more romantic after that, and Heather seeing her plan to drive a wedge between the two of you did not work realizes she has to get her hands messy and plays a little bit more of a direct role in getting you eliminated.

It's a sorrowful goodbye until you see her again in action.

Bridgette

Reuniting with Bridgette is nothing but vibes.

She's beyond stoked to see you again, and even more stoked to ride the wave with you again.

I imagine the two of you met at the beach, and it was love at first sight for her.

You two click all over again like no time has gone past, and she fills you in on every little thing you've missed.

Things are super cut and dry with Bridgette, no mess, nothing but chillness.

She makes her feelings pretty clear, with some hints and stuff.

She learned her lesson the first time, letting you leave without having ever told you how she really felt hurt in ways she wasn't ready to feel again.

But if you don't pick up on it she'll just flat out tell you.

"I'm not doing this cause you're my team mate, I'm doing it cause I like you. You dork."

"I like you too Bridge, you know that."

"Not like that-!" She exclaimed, splashing you playfully, rocking the canoe as she did "-like like like you."

You stare at her in disbelief for a moment.

"what?!" you exclaim.

"Do you not feel the same?" She frowned.

"No I do... I just wasn't expecting-" she cuts you off tackling you rocking the whole boat as she does.

The rest is history and you two are pretty much inseparable from that point onward.

Up until World Tour, where Alejandro starts becoming a plane wide problem.

He tries targeting you at first, but youre so in love with Bridgette he can't get any headway.

But Bridgette being stuck on an opposing team leaves her exposed to his manipulation, he lies about you and makes her question her loyalty.

After she gets stuck to a pole, you find her, but when she explains what happened you just feel so hurt and betrayed that you leave her in the dust (or well, snow).

After a world tour it takes a lot of apologizing and healing to get over what happened between the two of you but you're both determined to make it work so you both put your strongest foot forward and work at it.

Heather

Heather is absolutely stunned when she sees you.

You greet her excitedly when she hits you with a "hello? Earth to nerd, I don't know you!"

That's enough to keep you away from her for a while.

She 100% is only pretending not to know who you are, but what choice did she have? She couldn't risk her feelings for you returning and ruining her chances at winning.

Close tender friendships like you used to have were bad for her image now, she had an impression to keep in this competition and she'd be dead in the ground before she let you or anyone else come in the way of that.

Her tenderness for you starts to show through and through though, you know her like the back of your hand, still, even after all these years.

You'd recognize those glances anywhere, and you knew it meant more than just being a strong team mate when she would point out all the ways in which you did well in the challenges. She was trying to keep you in the game.

The two of you never have any heart to hearts, nothing like that anyways.

She never reveals that she does remember you, not even as you watch her fade into the horizon on the boat of losers.

World tour she's more determined than ever, you've never seen her so deranged to win.

I'd imagine the love triangle would have more to do with her and Alejandro then you and anyone else.

She becomes torn between the two of you, and the inherit struggle in trying to pick over someone who actually matched her wit, and her childhood best friend and longest crush.

She makes her decision when she inevitably votes you out.

"Heather... you voted for me?" You asked, heart breaking, eyes already feeling wet.

She scoffs, "Don't take it so personally."

You sniffle a little bit, and then shake your head "I should've known better than to fall for your two faced snake self twice." You spit.

And with that you're gone.

She's not stupid, she's not forgetful either, and you knew that she knew just what "twice" really meant.

But she'd dug her grave now, she would just have to hope it could hold a million bucks.

Duncan

The meeting with him is very awkward I'd imagine.

He'd likely pretend not to know you until he can get a moment alone with you.

I would imagine he's largely embarrassed of your relationship due to the fact that he met you before his Juvie days, and you were one of the only people who had known him before he became nothing more than a delinquent.

So yeah, he's hell bent on making sure people don't find out about you two knowing each other.

But we all know deep down Duncan is a totally sweetie, even if it is deep, deep, deep down. His affection for you is bound to show one way or another.

Ever the observant one I'm sure it was Courtney who noticed first, marveling at how strange it was that you two of all people had romantic feelings for each other.

She urged the two of you together, subtly, attempting to be your sort of wingman, unbeknownst to even you.

Eventually Duncan works towards getting her voted out because of this, he's so obsessed with keeping his bad boy persona he'd do just about anything in this competition to keep it up. Even risk losing a million big ones.

You knew something was fishy about Courtney getting voted, but you couldn't put your finger on what. At least not until you heard him in the confessionals.

"I had to get that Courtney chick voted out, she was getting too close. I hate people who get to close,"

"Duncan!" you exclaim.

You can hear him mutter curses from the outhouse.

"Forget it! You know I can't believe I was actually starting to like you again!"

After that it's a nonstop battle for Duncan to win back your affections.

I would imagine the love triangle would consist of you, Duncan, and of course, Courtney.

She would start falling for you based on the way you shamelessly defended her despite your feelings for Duncan.

Only problem for you was those feelings hadn't exactly gone away since last season, and you were still very much into him.

You three fight a lot, and are the reason all three of you end up going home.

Which leaves nothing but time to work out your messy feelings for Duncan, and his for you.

But maybe time is really all the two of you need.

Izzy

Izzy is a bit of a wild card (obviously).

I feel like reuniting with her is just super duper chaotic, and very overwhelming at first.

She wants to fill you in on every little detail in her life within the same second she sees you again.

But you remember how to rein her in, she really hasn't changed much from the chaotic messy kid she was. (save for being a criminal now (whoops!)).

You being in the challenge with her would keep her much more rallied and motivated towards an understandable goal.

She can feel those intimate feelings creeping back, but she isn't shy with it.

I imagine she probably would've confessed to you once before, when you first moved, only neither of you wanted to try out long distance and thought it might only ruin what a good friendship you had. So through your move you decided to just stay friends.

You don't get long to sit and wonder about if those feelings still linger for her as they do for you when she abruptly asks

"So hey, are you interested in dating during the competition?" she asked, sitting beside you, anything but shy.

"What?"

Izzy was nothing if not explorative, she collected new experiences like pokemon cards, and she wanted to live fully every part of life.

"It might be a little bit messy. But I think maybe it could work, if all that was keeping you was distance the first time... well... I'm here now."

She stares at you with an expectant kind of rare almost nervous look, and though the confession is anything but picturesque, with her, it's perfect.

I think the love triangle would come in with her next season with maybe Alejandro falling for you.

Hard to say whether his attempts at flirting are due to advancing in the game, or genuine attraction. Either way you have trouble picking up on it, especially when things are going so well with Izzy.

I wouldn't say Izzy isn't a jealous person, I just think she could fall either way, depending on the person, depending on the day, the humidity in the air, basically on nothing at all. She's nothing if not erratic.

With Alejandro, she might be inclined to threaten him with her license to kill depending on her mood, and depending on what he tries to pull with you.

Cody

The reunion with Cody is one that is very heartfelt, and he instantly lights up upon seeing you.

You can see that he's fairly committed to his "too cool for school" schtick, so having any genuine connection with him might be a little tricky.

He's one person I feel like would have definitely tried to keep in contact with, it wasn't anything like every day phone calls, but the two of you had definitely spent at least some time sending letters back and forth.

So when you too meet there isn't a lot of catching up to do, only some.

He's overall very excited to see you back, and you know him enough to know that, even if he's refusing to show it.

You can feel those creeping feelings sneak up on you until the hit you smack in the face during one of the challenges.

"Cody!" you exclaimed during one of the challenges as he hit the ground hard.

"I'm fine," he lied, his voice strangled, the wind having been knocked out of him wholly.

You helped him up, and picked up a piece of paper that had tumbled out of his pocket and went bouncing a few feet.

At first you mistake it for trash, but with the way that even injured and put out Cody grabs for it, you figure it must be something good.

You were due for a little bit of teasing when you decided to open it, only to realize that it was a letter from you.

It's an old one, a really old one, perhaps even the first one you'd ever sent.

"Uhhh... how'd that get in there!?" He exclaims, swiping it out of your hands which are too stunned to fight against it.

Realization dawns on you just as quickly, there is only one reason he'd would've kept that with him after all those years.

"Oh my god Cody, you like me!"

The rest is history, and you two start dating among the challenges.

The conflict would come with Sierra I would think, who's hell bent on breaking you two apart.

All of her attempts fall flat unfortunately for her, and you two stand as one of the more healthy and strong relationships within the show.

[forever-rogue]

hey honey! I hope you're having a good week 🫶 if your request are open, I have this little idea that I want to share with you (if not, you can ignore it and sorry to bother you). this could be with either Steve Harrington or Eddie Munson because I love how you write for them. so maybe you have a friends with benefit type of relationship that lately has been more romantic (less sex, and more let's take care about each other) and, obviously, you end up falling in love because you've always had a crush and this just made it worse. and because life is short, you decide to confess your feelings but in the moment you're gonna do it, he has something to say too. so you start saying how you are in love but he interrumpes you in that moment and he's like "hey! that's great because I'm seeing this girl and I think I like her so we should end with this" and you end heartbroken not only because it's not reciprocated it but because it also felt like he was leading you when in reality he was seeing another girl already. I know, it's really angsty this but I love angst and if you decide to give it a happy ending too, I will love it 🥺💖

thank you love, hope you have a nice weekend ❤

AN | I am a sucker for a love confession so here we are. It has a happy ending 🥺

Warnings | Language

Pairing | Steve x Fem!Reader

Word Count | 2.5k

Masterlist | Steve, Main

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“Why are you looking at me like that?” your cheeks warmed up as you tried to hide your face in his pillow.

“You’re beautiful,” he whispered in turn, reaching over and gently brushing a few rogue bits of hair out of your face, “so beautiful.”

“Stevie,” you always felt like he could see right down into your soul with those honey caramel eyes, “stop.”

“Why?” there was a soft whimsy to his question that caused you to playfully roll your eyes, “come on, angel. Tell me.”

“You’re being too…sweet,” you tried to shrug him off as he put his hand on your cheek, “one might almost think you…”

“That I what?” you swallowed thickly at his innocent question. You didn’t know if he really was that naive or if he was playing dumb, “hmm?”

“That you have feelings for me.”

“I do,” he said as though it was the most obvious thing in the world, “you’re my best friend. I love you.”

Not how I love you. You wanted to say, but you swallowed it back down. Instead, you rolled on your back and pulled the sheet over your bare chest. A sigh escaped your lips despite your best efforts. 

“I know,” was all you managed to get out without giving too much of yourself away. 

“Angel-”

“I’m tired,” you whispered into the dark, “let’s just go to sleep.”

He was quiet for a few moments before you felt him shuffle behind you. You felt him wrap an arm around your waist and pull you into his warm body. Despite your best efforts you melded into him.

Soon, you promised yourself, soon you would tell Steve exactly how you felt. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You could lie and say you weren't quite sure when your situationship with Steve started but that would be a lie. You remembered the precise moment you went from best friends to best friends with benefits. 

It was at some party for a friend of a friend and the two of you had gone for some fun…and free drinks. You'd both gotten a little tipsy and it had been a while since either of you had gotten any action and so…you'd kissed and then had sex.

When coming to your senses the next day, neither of you truly regretted it. It was - if you were being completely honest - the best sex of your life. And because of that, the two of you didn't see a reason not to hook up again. 

So you did; happily and regularly. Despite your best efforts, you kept holding onto the hope something would change. Something would prompt him to want to make this official. You thought that maybe he felt the same way about you. You knew he loved you, that was never a secret. But you wanted to know if he loved you as more than a best friend.

You could have asked. You should have asked but you never worked yourself up to it. Instead you let things keep going as they were, hoping that something would happen. Maybe the universe would divine something into fruition.

But it became increasingly hard to hold back your feelings. You should have just ended things or came out and told him the entire truth but it was impossible. You couldn't quit Steve…you didn't want to. 

Steve, however, was smarter than most people ever assume. He could see that something was different - off. Whenever he'd try to bring up the subject and get to the root of what was going on, you switched the subject. 

"Here ya go," Steve held out your ice cream cone, a smile on his face, “your favorites.”

“Thanks,” you took the cone from him with a small, forced smile. His own pretty smile faltered for a moment as you ate some of your ice cream, “it’s really good.”

“What’s wrong?” he asked softly and offered him a shrug in response. You knew that he meant well and this was all because he cared but it didn’t make it any easier, “you’ve been so down lately. Talk to me, angel. Please.”

“Stevie,” you hesitated for a moment; you hated seeing the sad look on his face. You wanted him to be happy - it was what he deserved. You reached for his hand and put yours on top of his, giving it a gentle squeeze, “nothing is wrong, love. I’m just…I haven’t been feeling great. That’s all.”

“Okay,” he flipped your hand over so he was holding yours. His touch was so gentle and reverent. You knew he could tell you were lying, but the thing about him was that he never pushed. He knew that you trusted him and would eventually go to him, “you know that you can tell me anything.”

“I know,” you promised him, “you’re the one person I trust more than anything. You’re the most important person in my life, Steve.”

“Funny,” he teased softly  that almost brought a little smile to your face, “you’re the same to me. You’re the best thing in the world.”

“Steve.”

“I mean it,” he reached over and brushed his knuckles along your cheek, “I love you.”

And that was the most wonderful and hardest thing to hear, because you knew he meant it.

Just not in that way.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“Baby, baby, baby,” you sighed softly as Steve trailed his lips along your jaw and down your neck. He was softly nipping at the skin, leaving behind a lavender haze of soft bruises, “you’re so soft. So fuckin’ soft.”

“Steve,” you wanted him to stop but your body and heart were wanting him to keep going. You ran a hand through his hair, scratching lightly at his scalp. He was slowly pushing up your dress, deft fingers dancing along your thighs. He paused for a moment before kissing along your collarbones and the tops of your breasts. His gentle touch caused you to inhale softly.

“I love when you make all those pretty sounds,” he nuzzled his face into your neck, overwhelming all of your senses, “you are everything to me.”

You tensed up for a moment before putting your hands on his shoulders and shaking your head. Steve stopped immediately and pulled back, looking at you in concern, “stop, please. I…I’m sorry.”

“Is everything okay?” his eyes were wide with concern as he pulled himself off you completely and sat down next to you. You felt tears welling up but tried to blink them back, “angel…”

“I just…I don’t want to do this,” you pointed between your bodies, “not today. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize,” he insisted sweetly, “you never have to apologize for anything like that. It’s not an issue. Do you want to just watch a movie or something?”

“Actually, I think I should go home,” you pulled your dress down and shuffled off his bed. He nodded in response before handing you your sweater. You took it, hugging it to your chest as you inhaled the smell of him from it, “I’ll talk to you later, alright?”

“Call me when you get home, okay?” he asked quietly as you nodded in response, “and be careful.”

“Always,” you promised before turning to leave his bedroom. You paused in the hallway for a moment, hesitating on whether to just leave or go back. After a few beats you left his apartment to go home. You missed him already. 

Steve had to battle between coming after you or letting you go. He knew something was wrong and he just wanted to fix it. He would do anything for you…he hoped you knew that.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You separated yourself from Steve for a few days, trying to figure yourself out. It was hard but if you were ever going to move past the current situation something had to change.

The only real solution, you had finally come to terms with, was telling him how you really felt. It was going to be harder but it was going to be even harder if you never said anything at all.

The next time Steve picked you up for your normal Friday night hangout, you were ready. As ready as you ever would be. 

"Hey angel," Steve wrapped you up in a hug without hesitation and you allowed yourself to melt into his arms, "I've missed you."

"I've missed you too, Stevie," you whispered as you took a moment to breathe him in. You pulled back and found him looking at you with soft eyes and an even softer smile. 

"I have something to tell you-"

The two of you spoke at the same time, always so in sync. You couldn't help but laugh lightly. You gave his arm a light squeeze and motioned for him to go first.

"So," he looked excited as your heart beat wildly in your chest. Was this finally it? Were you going to have your magic movie moment finally? He looked at his feet for a moment, stifling his smile, "do you remember Amber? The receptionist at my old job?"

"Yeah…" your heart was definitely going to burst out of your chest.

"She called me up the other day and asked if I wanted to go out with her," he looked almost shy as all you could do was stare at him, "so I figured why not? We're going out tomorrow."

"Oh," you felt your heart break as you blinked back your tears, "oh."

"Yeah," he nodded, trying to read your expression, "I was thinking too that maybe we should stop sleeping together. Just if we want to start dating people it might be best if we stop. But - what were you going to say?"

"Me?" you swallowed thickly, brain buzzing and heart in your stomach. You opened and closed your mouth a few times trying to figure out how to possibly tell him you were in love with him when he clearly wasn't interested in you that way. You were just a best friend and a warm body, "umm…nothing. Nothing important at all."

"Are you sure? It looked like it was something big-"

"No," you shook your head and took a step back from him, "I forgot but umm, I actually have a thing so I can't hang out tonight. I'm so sorry, I just remembered."

"What? But we always-"

"I'm sorry, Stevie," you turned around before he could say anything else. He was almost positive that you had some tears in your eyes.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

After Steve broke your heart - unintentionally - you avoided him. Flat out avoided him and didn’t even make an attempt  to hide that little fact. He called, and came by, and even stopped by your work, but never managed to get a hold of you. It was starting to kill him slowly. He needed to know what was wrong, he wanted to fix it and make it all better. You were the best and biggest part of his life and you were just gone. He wasn’t sure if he could survive without you. 

Neither of you could live without the other. That was obvious to everyone. 

It was a few weeks later that Steve finally managed to track you down. He’d been waiting outside of your office, watching in anticipation for you to come out. It probably wasn’t the best idea but he didn’t care. He couldn’t be without you any more.

As soon as he saw you coming down the steps, he jumped out of his car and ran over you, calling your name at the top of his lungs, a desperate and hurried sound. You stopped dead in tracks and looked at him with wide eyes. 

“Steve?”

“Hey - hi,” he stopped in front of you, a nervous expression on his face. 

“W-what are you doing here?” butterflies were already fluttering around in your tummy like crazy. 

“You,” he stated simply, “I had to see you. I can’t wait any longer.”

“Oh,” that alone was enough to make your heart thaw just a little bit, “Stevie-”

“I’m sorry,” he interrupted you quickly, “I know I should let you talk but I don’t want another excuse for why I have seen you. All I could think about these last couple of weeks was you. And I think…I think I know what happened.”

“Oh?” your face warmed as you squealed at him, “I….Steve.”

“Are you in love with me?” he didn’t waste any time getting right to the point and it was the most wonderful and scariest moment of your life, “because I’m in love with you.”

You could have given him so many different answers, played this off in various ways but you were done. Done with running from him and ignoring what was right in front of you. Swallowing thickly, you nodded at him, “yes. I’m in love with you.”

He took your face in his hands, brushing his thumb over your cheek. He smiled at you, fully and sweetly, which you couldn’t help but return. Suddenly it felt like things were really and truly falling into place. 

“May I?” he asked softly and you knew exactly what he meant. You answered his question by leaning in and kissing him softly. If there was ever a magic movie moment, this was it. You’d kissed him many times by now, but it was never like this before. 

When you pulled back, he sighed softly and pressed his forehead against yours, “I’ve been wanting to say that for so long now.”

“Me too,” you confessed softly, “I just got scared every time. And I was sure you’d never feel the same.”

“Really?” he laughed softly, “here I was thinking I was being so obvious all this time. I should have tried harder, huh?”

“I thought you were being obvious but I talked myself out of it,” you admitted as you touched his face, “I never thought you’d love me like I’ve always loved you.”

“I always have,” he promised, “and I always will.”

“Do you really promise?” you felt a few tears run down your cheeks and Steve didn’t hesitate to wipe them away.

“I swear it on my life,” he peppered your face in kisses, “forever. I love you.”

“I love you,” a wistful little sigh escaped your lips as you melted into him, “forever.”

[tea-plantz]

Hello! I absolutely LOVED your yandere!Bill Cipher x reader headcanons! Can I please get a part two where the reader loves Bill back? I’m a huge simp for the Dorito man 💛💛

Si mi amigo, I can of course write that for you, love! I swear, I’ve gotten sooo many Bill Cipher request lately, so I just had to do some more Bill content!

Also, like mentioned in the request, this is sort of a part 2 to my other Bill hcs, so I would recommend reading that one first!

He/him for Bill

They/them for the reader

<Yandere! Bill Cipher x reader HCS, where reader loves him back>

The dream demon had kept you with him for quite some time now, always staying by your side. Now, you might have heard of something called Stockholm syndrome, which is basically when a victim starts forming and emotional bond, and starts feeling sympathy for their kidnapper. You can probably guess where I’m going with this.

You were well aware of the fact that Bill had abducted you, taken you away from everything you loved, but for some odd reason, you started… viewing him differently. The more time you spent with the triangle, the more you actually started caring for him, and in time, full on loving him.

When you first told Bill you loved him, he didn’t believe you. Of course he had told you that himself multiple times, and made you say it back, but you always sounded nervous when you did. Moreover, you’ve never voluntarily gone up to him and just blurted it out yourself so casually, without him demanding it. Naturally, he was suspicious. Was this an attempt to gain his trust to escape? Or perhaps you were just toying with him?

When Bill finally realized that you were genuine with your little love confession, he was absolutely over the moon! Bro was flabbergasted.

The person he loved and adored oh so much finally loved him back! And he didn’t even have to force you in any way! (At least not too much) Oh what a joyful discovery! He was so happy, floating around while giggling like a little girl.

——————————————————————————

After that, the dream demon showed you hella lot affection, we’re talking hugs, kisses, picking you up, petnames all day, playing with your hair, cuddles, constantly complimenting you, all that stuff. It was a lot easier too, since you didn’t push him away or act scared anymore, which just made him more enthusiastic. Thing is, in the start Bill loved your fear, but it got boring quickly. What he truly longed for was your heart (not literally), so when he finally got it, he was overjoyed!

When you suddenly returned the affection one time, he almost passed out. “Hey Bill, how’s it going honey?” “H-h-honey?!” *Bill.exe has stopped working*

You would expect someone to get less angsty and possessive once they got confirmed that the person that they care about shares the same feelings, however, this was NOT the case with Bill, per say. He got even more over protective than ever, if that was even humanly possible, craving to be by your side at all times, day and night.

The fact that you love him would definitely boost his already big ego A LOT! This man would feel like the most important person in the whole wide universe, including you of course~ He would also brag about his awesome and beautiful s/o all the time.

In my previous headcanons, I mentioned that Bill would play the piano for you. Well, now that he doesn’t need to force you to sit still, he would most certainly do music duets with you! Preferably with love songs. The demon finds them so enjoyable, plus you’re angelic voice drives him absolutely crazy! He craves to hear it at least once a day, and you can’t really say no to him, whatsoever.

——————————————————————————

Bill did ease off of the punishments, mostly because he didn’t really need to punish you anymore. Since your little escape attempts had finally come to an end, and you didn’t really cause that much trouble for him anymore, Bill felt no need to lash out at you. However, if you did do something he didn’t particularly like, he would still punish you, just less intense then the methods he used before.

The Dorito man would probably also get fewer anger tantrums. Don’t get me wrong, he still gets pissed of if you or somebody else rubs him the wrong way, but it’s a lot less intense then what it used to be.

He shows you off a lot to every single one of his henchmen, ALL THE TIME. Bill takes great pride in you, y’know?

Now that you have finally given in and stopped being so stubborn, you and Bill are able to rule together as king and queen/king/ruler of the universe for all eternity, at last. When the dream demon and his crew finally conquered Gravity Falls, he kept you proudly by his side, while showing of his powers to you *wink wink*. Bill even made you your own throne! And even though you hesitated a bit to actually sit in it (since y’know, it’s made out of actual people), he stared you down until you finally gave in. All with love of course! Bill really couldn’t wish for more, everything was just perfect! His dream finally came true, and better yet, it came true with you ruling beside him, just like he’s always daydreamt about!

Bill is definitely never EVER letting you go. If you thought he was a lovesick psycho before, he’s a literal monster now. All the affection that you provided him of, really made him lose it, and now he craves you more than ever. This triangle is going to keep you with him til the end of time, and there’s nothing you can say or do to get away. Not that you would really want to though, since Bill has finally managed to sneak his way into your heart! Forever…

[tsumtsumrry]

Friends to lovers Harry styles? I was thinking Harry and the reader have been best friends for years with cute traditions like coffee on certain days or book clubs. Overall they know each other inside out and spend a lot of time together. There’s some tension bc harry is very obviously in love with the reader however she’s the only one who doesn’t see it. Despite the fact she feels the same she’s scared because she doesn’t believe he could feels the same. Maybe it could get a little angsty but with a happy ending pls! Thank you!

thank you very much for the request!! anyone who knows me knows that friends to lovers is my jam, so this was very very fun to write. hope you enjoy <3 (barely proofread so sorry in advance for any mistakes!)

“Well have you tried unplugging it and plugging it back in?” Harry suggests as you two sit inside the pillow fort you made, two glasses of wine sitting next to your knees and the sight of your small TV bugging out in front of you. 

You pout at your dilemma. It’s been a tradition since you two were kids to have a little quiet movie night in a cozy pillow fort. It’s not the first time your TV has been acting up recently and Harry keeps offering to buy you a new one but you always refuse. He’s too giving, that one. But god, do you admire him for it. 

“Tried that before you came, H. S’no use. Time for plan B.” you sigh at go to get up carefully to go retrieve your computer and a stool from your room.

Harry watches you with fond eyes as you go, the sparkle in his eyes that only appears when he’s looking at you evident (to everyone but you, that is). He’s almost a hundred percent sure you’re the most beautiful person he’s ever seen, the hue of your eyes melts him, the brightness of your smile blinds him. You have the softest, most soothing aura he’s ever come across and he just wants to be with you all the time. He’s smiling like an idiot just thinking about you.

“Got the computer. What are we watching?” he jumps a little, startled out of his thoughts when you walk back into your cozy living room. He watches you intently as you calculatedly place the stool in front of the fort and the computer on top of it. He smiles fondly at you when you adjust it at least five times because “it has to be perfect” and opens his mouth to answer your question, “what are we watching?” 

You carefully sit right back down next to him and after a small beat of silence you both turn to look at each other at exactly the same time and simultaneously blurt out, “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days!” 

“Twin flame telepathy back at it again.” he pumps his fist in the air and pulls it back while you giggle. 

It doesn’t take long to set up the movie and before you know it, you’re halfway through it, cuddled up into Harry’s side with his arm snug tightly around you. You occasionally look up at him when you see something funny to see if he found it funny too, and he does the same, causing an intense bout of eye contact and laughter. 

The warm hues of your fairy lights kiss his skin in a way that makes him almost glow with warmth, the green of his eyes is so intense in this light, it almost takes your breath away. Sometimes you wish time would stop so he could be as still as he is in this moment, and you could just look at him. Just admire how truly beautiful he is. The way his eyelashes flutter when he takes in the brightness of the images forms a small knot in your stomach. You feel your mouth part and it’s only when he looks down at you that you realize your staring might feel a little weird. 

“What?” you watch his mouth form the softly spoken word. You don’t say anything so he smiles and tries again, “what?” 

“Nothing, just daydreaming.” you reply softly with a small smile. 

“Watch the movie, dude.” he scolds you playfully and you roll your eyes. 

“Sir, yes sir.” 

“So you think waffles are better than pancakes?” Harry asks one of your mutual friends, Jess incredulously. Jess nods and Harry’s eyes almost bulge out of their sockets. “Are you kidding me? Pancakes are infinitely better than waffles. Who wants their breakfast to have craters in them, Jess? I mean c’mon. Tell them, babe. Pancakes are better.” He motions to you and your eyes widen, not wanting to get in between what is clearly such an important, heated discussion. 

“Pancakes.” you finalize with a small laugh. Harry smacks his hand on the table in triumph and points at Jess, who rolls their eyes at his antics. “S’two against one. Can’t beat that. Them’s the rules, toots.” 

You’re in a fit of giggles at this point, you’ve always loved the way he talked. He had this dry humor that utilized his unique vocabulary and it never failed to amuse you. 

He turns to look at you, scooting closer and slinging his arm around your shoulder. “Can always count on you can’t I, honey?” he smirks and shrugs you closer to him to press a messy kiss on the side of your head. 

You shudder violently and your hand immediately shoots up to wipe at your head, “ew, Harry!” you whine and he throws his head back to laugh. 

Everyone is just staring at the two of you fondly, your bond is something unmatched. The pure passion that you two display when you look at each other is unlike anything most of your friends have seen before. Everyone can see the sparkle in his eyes when he looks at you. It’s lost on them how you can’t. They just wish you two would finally man up and come to terms with it. 

He leans down way too close to your ear, his lips oh so faintly brushing against your skin, the laughter ceases almost immediately and it feels like time just stops. 

“You know you love me, sweet girl.” 

It takes everything in you not to let your body melt into his and flutter your eyes shut at the closeness and warmth of his touch. Even the faintest touch makes you nearly lose yourself, you can’t imagine what a real touch would do to you. 

You pull yourself together enough to respond, “yes, yes unfortunately I do. Freaking man child.” 

He laughs again and just hugs you closer. 

H: Sweetheaaart. Where could you possibly be other than with me? 

H: That rhymed. 

H: Gonna pretend that it was intentional.

You: Lol you’ve got the wrong day, H. We’re meeting tomorrow x 

H: Yes but I still would looovee to see you today. 

You: I’ve got plaaans. 

H: Spill. 

Harry bites his lip nervously as he sends the message. He’s been talking to some mutual friends of yours and they’ve had the bright idea to set you up with someone this week. They’ve been trying to push Harry to make a move on you for years and he hasn’t. Your friends say you’ve been complaining about feeling lonely in the romantic department and of course they took it upon themselves to “help”. 

He hoped that if he sought out plans with you, you’d forget about whatever silly “date” they’ve asked you to go on. 

You: A date I think. Can I call it a date? 

He sighs deeply, his whole body deflating.

H: Why wouldn’t you call it a date? 

You: I don’t know the guy and it just doesn’t feel right you know?” 

Immediately you see his face flash on your screen and feel the phone vibrating in your hands. Your brow furrows but you press the accept button and bring the phone up to your ear. 

“Don’t go.” is the first thing he says, his tone almost pleading. “If it doesn’t feel right, don’t go. You can come over to mine, we can do face masks or something. Just don’t go.” 

You sigh, seriously considering his offer, “but don’t you think I owe to myself, H? I feel like I never put myself out there you know. It’s time I’ve tried. Can’t wait around forever.” You mumble that last part, slightly turning your mouth away from the speaker. 

“What? N-nevermind. You said it didn’t feel right though.” he tries again, praying that a little coaxing can get you to not go on that date. He swears he’ll confess his feelings to you right now if that’s what it takes. He doesn’t know what he’ll do if that date goes well and someone pulls the girl he’s so enamored with right from under him. He knows that if you start seeing someone things will be different, and you might tell him that they won’t be at first, but he knows they will. He absolutely cannot lose you. That’s one thing he refuses to do. Regardless of his fears. 

“Doesn’t hurt to try, right?” You almost wish he would tell you not to go again. You so desperately wish he would tell you what you want to hear. At no point before this phone call did you plan or think about making him jealous or upset at the idea of you seeing someone else, but the tortured thought is crossing your mind now. And you just wish that he’d say what you need to hear to get you to not go on that date. Your nails are digging into your palms as you anticipate his response, the tension building in your muscles. 

His mouth opens and closes. He has all the words in his head, but they hesitate to come out. 

A beat passes. 

You hear him sigh and you know he’s not going to tell you what you need to hear. 

So so close. He was so close to saying everything that needed to be out in the open for both of you, but he chickened out. 

“Right. Go for it, babe. Hope all goes well.” he forces a cheerful tone, one that he even cringes at, and usually, you know him better than that, but the tears are pooling in your eyes and threatening to fall down your cheeks; you don’t want to mess up the makeup that you’ve just done. 

“Thanks, H.” Your voice wobbles the slightest bit. Usually he knows you better, but the tears are pooling and threatening to fall down his cheeks. He presses his fingers into his palm and hangs up. 

He just stands there for a moment, a lone tear falls down his face and he immediately wipes it away, you’re too pure and precious to be the reason for his pain. He wishes he could just tell you. 

He’s been dodging you. 

You basically know his entire schedule, and you know that he’s been dodging you. 

You sigh softly as another call goes unanswered. Your heart is aching from missing your twin flame. 

The date went well, surprisingly. The guy was kind and thoughtful, he pulled your chair out for you and said all the right things, he was a great conversationalist, he was attractive. He basically checked all the boxes. Except for one. He wasn’t Harry. And you weren’t deeply in love with him. You should’ve listened to Harry that night, honestly. There’s only one person you want to be with.

You almost want to turn around after you knock on his door. You felt stupid, like you were coming here to make a fool of yourself. 

The door swings open and you sigh a breath of relief.

“Harry.” you sigh, “I’ve been trying to reach you for days.” 

He nods and opens the door wider to let you in. Your arms wrap around yourself protectively in a way that they never have around him when you step inside. He notices instantly. 

That’s his breaking point. The idea that that comfort you feel in each other is being challenged by his inability to just tell you how he feels. 

He walks towards you slowly. When he’s in front of you, his hand reaches up to touch your cheek softly and you frown in confusion, “why have you been avoiding me?” you whisper, not trusting your voice when he’s touching you. 

He shakes his head, “I’ve been avoiding a lot of things, you weren’t one of them, though.” 

Your frown deepens even more, “H. What in the world are you talk—” when you realize how close he’s suddenly become, your talking ceases. He leans in further, faintly brushing his lips against yours, using his grip on your cheek to angle you in the perfect way. 

“I’ve been avoiding my feelings. My feelings for you. These intense feelings that have been just utterly consuming me lately. These feelings that I think have been there since we were kids. It’s always, always been you, babe.” he leans down one more inch, and his lips are on yours.

Soft and delicate, but so full of passion that it overwhelms you. 

He kisses you softly again, first your top lip and then your bottom lip, then leaves one more soft peck on both. 

When you pull away you’re at a loss for words. You take this moment to look at him. To really look at him and just admire. A smile makes its way onto your face that you couldn’t have possibly fought even if you tried. 

“What?” he chuckles softly, stroking his thumb against your cheek and lips. 

“Nothing you just, you have this sparkle in your eyes that I’ve never noticed before. It’s beautiful.” Neither of you can stop your lips  from meeting again.

[halucynator]

False Fronts IV

part 4 of 4

angst version.

i am absolutely owing my life to @berryzxx bc this bitch (/pos) has given me all my ideas like this wouldn't even exist if it weren't for her also sorry for how late this is?!? i had writers block and then i was packing up to leave uni and go back home woohoo sorry if i accidentally made it third person halfway through bc im stupid

sorry for the wait hope this makes up for it!! didn't wanna release angst and fluff at too different times bc i don't hate you people

pairing: theodore nott x fem!reader

warnings: angst angsty angst angst gut wrenching heart breaking angst, arguments (oohOOHOoH) swearing, not so fake dating (but are they?), the and y/n being idiots, not a happy ending, not proof read (as usual) and my writing

summary: being asked to fake date someone to get a petty ex off their back is the worst possible way of being friend-zoned. you, however, were willing to take any chances to get as close as you could to theodore nott.

im not that mean, the fluffy version can be found here.

once again these beautiful dividers have been created by @cafekitsune!! you can find these exact dividers in a wider range of colours here!

word count: 1.7k

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4: fluff

The tension between you and Theo had been brewing for days, each passing moment adding weight to the unspoken emotions that hung heavily in the air. Unable to bear the silence any longer, you initiated the conversation, the frustration and confusion evident in your voice.

"Theo, can we talk?" you asked, your voice tinged with a mix of apprehension and determination.

He glanced up from his book, an unreadable expression flickering across his face. "Sure, what's up?"

"It's about us," you began cautiously, the words feeling heavier than you'd anticipated. "I feel like there's something here, between us. But I'm confused about where you stand."

Theo's expression flickered, a fleeting mixture of uncertainty and conflict clouding his features. "I don't know if diving into a relationship right now is the best idea."

"But this isn't just about a relationship," you insisted, your voice rising in exasperation. "It's about acknowledging what's been brewing between us, Theo."

He sighed, a hint of frustration creeping into his voice. "I'm not sure what I want, Y/N. It's complicated."

"Complicated?" You scoffed, the frustration simmering within you. "What's so complicated about being honest?"

"Why can't you understand?" Theo's voice rose, mirroring your frustration. "I don't want to mess things up and end up causing you pain."

"You're not getting it!" Your voice echoed in the charged atmosphere. "I need to know where we stand, and your indecision isn't helping."

Theo's reluctance grated on your nerves, fueling the intensity of the argument. "I need you to be honest with me, Theo. I can't keep waiting for something that might never happen!"

"I know, but I'm conflicted," he admitted, his tone wavering.

Frustration boiled within you. "Conflicted about what? Us?"

His gaze shifted away, a mix of guilt and concern clouding his features. "I... I don't want Jess to hurt you."

"I can handle Jess, she isn't your responsibility," you asserted firmly, the frustration simmering beneath your words.

"You don't get it, do you?" Theo's voice cut through the tension, edged with frustration. "She's MY ex."

His words stung, and the heat of the argument intensified. "And that gives you the right to dictate what's good for me?" you shot back, your voice rising in indignation.

"Look, I'm just trying to protect you," Theo retorted, his tone laced with urgency.

"Protect me? From what?" Your voice rose, the frustration boiling over. "I can handle my own affairs, Theo. I don't need you deciding what's best for me!"

The tension crackled between you, each word spoken a testament to the underlying emotions that had escalated into a heated argument. The clash of opinions and conflicting desires hung heavily in the charged atmosphere, leaving the potential relationship teetering on the edge of uncertainty. The anticipation in the room was suffocating.

Days stretched into weeks, and the awkward distance between you and Theo became the new norm. Despite the avoidance, every accidental encounter sent a rush of conflicting emotions through you. Butterflies danced in your stomach, a bittersweet reminder of the connection you once shared, now lost in a fog of misunderstanding.

Each time your paths crossed, the unresolved tension simmered beneath the surface. The silent longing for resolution battled with the ache of hurt and confusion, leaving you caught in a turmoil of emotions whenever Theo came into view.

The avoidance hadn't dulled the effect he had on you. His presence was still magnetic, drawing your attention despite the unspoken rift that divided you both. The simple sight of him evoked a rush of emotions, a testament to the bond you once shared and the rift that now tore you apart.

With every passing moment, the yearning for clarity clashed with the fear of confronting the situation, leaving you entangled in a web of unresolved emotions and unspoken apologies, the butterflies a painful yet undeniable reminder of the connection you couldn't seem to sever.

Summoning your courage, you approached Theo's dorm, determined to offer an overdue apology. A hesitant knock resulted in eerie silence. Unsure of Theo's whereabouts, you glanced around the deserted hallway, your resolve mingling with uncertainty.

Taking a tentative step forward, you reached for the doorknob, finding it unlocked. The decision to enter felt both intrusive and necessary. The room was devoid of life, the emptiness echoing the void that had developed between you and Theo.

Your gaze drifted to Theo's desk, where a single piece of paper lay. The handwriting was unmistakable, sending a jolt of emotions through you as you read the words:

Last night was so fun, so glad you dropped Y/N.

- Jess

Disbelief and a pang of deception ricocheted through you. The words were like a gut punch, shattering the fragile hope you had held for reconciliation and understanding. Confusion clouded your thoughts as you grappled with the apparent evidence before you.

Your mind raced, attempting to process the meaning behind Jess's note. It seemed to confirm your worst fears, undermining the fragile trust you had in the situation and leaving your heart aching with the weight of assumed betrayal.

With tear-filled eyes and a heavy heart, you turned away, the intention of offering an apology now replaced by a swirl of hurt. The unaddressed misunderstanding had taken root, poisoning the hope for amends and leaving you in a cloud of uncertainty and hurt.

Approaching Theo with a determined stride, you took a deep breath before speaking. "Can we talk?" you requested, your tone indicating the urgency of the matter.

Theo nodded, a mix of apprehension and curiosity in his eyes. "Sure, what's up?"

Without further ado, you gently pulled Theo out into the corridor, seeking a bit of privacy before diving into the conversation. "What's going on?" you asked, urgency evident in your voice.

Theo's brow furrowed in response, confusion evident in his expression. "What do you mean?"

In response, you reached into your pocket, retrieving the note. Holding it up for Theo to see, you arched an eyebrow, your gaze fixed on his face.

"What's this?" Theo questioned, puzzled.

"You tell me," you replied, your tone laced with a hint of accusation and urgency.

Theo's eyes widened as he caught sight of the note, a mix of shock and confusion crossing his features. "I… I don't know," he stammered, genuine bewilderment resonating in his voice.

The weight of the moment hung heavily between you, the note acting as a stark reminder of the rift that had developed. A tense silence pervaded the corridor, each passing moment thick with unspoken tension, the truth seemingly just out of reach.

Amidst Theo's genuine confusion and your distress, the mystery behind the note remained unsolved, leaving both of you ensnared in a cloud of uncertainty and doubt, the truth obscured by a veil of suspicion.

Holding out the note for Theo to see, you watched his expression closely as he read it. His eyes widened in surprise, confusion etched across his features. "She sent you that?" he asked, incredulous.

"What? No!" you responded quickly, a mix of frustration and confusion in your voice. "She sent it to you. It was in your room."

The implication that Jess had sent the note only added to the confusion between you and Theo.

heo's eyes flickered from the note to your face, disbelief written across his features. "I've never seen this before," he stated firmly, his voice tinged with confusion.

"Well, yeah, I took it," you admitted, the tension in the air palpable.

His brows furrowed in surprise. "Wait, you were snooping around in my dorm?" Theo's voice betrayed a mix of shock and frustration, his focus narrowing on your admission.

"What? That's what you're focused on?" you retorted, a touch of exasperation coloring your tone. The accusatory tone caught you off guard, adding to the already tumultuous conversation.

"Jess is obviously trying to screw up our relationship," Theo retorted, a trace of agitation and concern lacing his words.

"Or maybe you're just making up excuses. How about that, huh?" The words escaped your lips, edged with annoyance and simmering anger, as you grappled with the ease of his denial.

"What exactly are you accusing me of?" Theo's voice held a note of incredulity, his expression a mix of confusion and concern.

"Right now, I am accusing you of sleeping with her and cheating on me," you declared, the accusation spilling out in frustration and hurt.

"Wow, you really don't trust me, huh?" Theo's voice held a note of hurt, his expression a mix of disappointment and irritation.

"Currently, I don't," you admitted, your voice tinged with a hint of regret and exasperation.

"Well, If you can't trust me, I can't be with you," Theo replied, his tone laced with a touch of resignation and hurt.

The weight of the situation settled heavily between you, the conversation having taken an unexpected turn. Hurt and distrust hung like a veil, casting a shadow on the once-promising connection between you and Theo.

"Wait, are you breaking up with me?" The words stumbled out, your voice heavy with dejection, a lump forming in your throat.

"Well, you know what? Maybe Jess was right. We weren't really dating," Theo's voice held a trace of sorrow, the admission heavy with a crushing finality.

The realization sank in, the weight of his words like a sharp dagger through your heart. A shroud of sadness enveloped you, the abrupt end of something you thought was real leaving you feeling hollow and shattered.

In the deafening silence that followed, a heavy sadness settled upon you, your heart aching with the bitter sting of a relationship unraveled by doubt and mistrust.

"I'm sorry y/n. I really did try." Theo replies.

"Oh. So this is it then."

"Bye y/n."

"Goodbye," escaped through clenched teeth, a silent echo reverberating through every fiber of your being, each syllable a struggle against the strain of every muscle in your body.

And there you stood, the sudden and sharp cessation of what might have been, seeping into your core. It left you standing in the haunting echoes of a love's demise, surrounded by the desolate remnants of something once cherished.

hi hello! this is the end of the series. check out the fluffy ver here if you'd like!! here are a few fics to read while i work on my next one:

masterlist

reader's choice (mattheo x reader)

reader's choice (theodore x reader)

i honestly had so much fun writing this thank you for sticking along with this <33 sorry for how late this is i was like so busy and im also lazy so yea

taglist: @hisparentsgallerryy @jetblackpayne @delulu4marauders @ahead-fullofdreams

if you want to be added to my theodore/any other character's taglist just send me an ask/dm!

[atinyjules]

How We Had An Angel Ft. Lee Haechan

A/n: Happy Haechanie Dayy 🥹💛✨️💫 This is a birthday special for our sunshine! I wasn't gonna do this since I was busy, but considering everything my love is going through, I had to! My boy is so precious and amazing. The allegations were so bad. If I think it's really bad, imagine how hard he must be having it.

Haechan is my sunshine, and I love him so much! So this is dedicated to my amazing and adorable fullsunand all the sunflowers (cause as one myself, ik how everyone must be feeling)💛✨️💫☀️

Haechanie, you are sooo loved 🩷🌸

This font for foreign language and thoughts.

I haven't done a dad au in forever so I thought I might as well write one for how they had Chaein 🥹

Genre: new dad au, a little angsty, romance, fluff, humor

Pairings: Lee Haechan X Fem Oc

Warnings: swearing

The house was chill with tension as the only daughter of the family sat in front of her parents, eyes staring down at the ground. Too scared to face her parents. She flinched a little when her father cleared his throat.

"Hina, did our family's teachings and morals still not get ingrained into your mind?" Her father said in a low, calm tone.

"Dad, I-" her father raised his hand up to stop her from speaking.

"No. I think your actions have said everything. We sent our daughter to Korea to study... and we came all the way from Japan to see how well she was doing... only to find oushe got pregnant by some korean punk. We'llschedule you for abortion." Hina's dad said making her widen her eyes and look at her father in shock.

"I know... that we made a mistake. But... Donghyuck is not just some Korean punk... I love him dad, we love each other... you can't just decide everything on your own." She said making her father scoff.

"So you were so crazy in love that you ended up creating a baby at 19? You are too young, too young to know what love is and too young to be a mother. Are you even sure he loves you?" Her father spat making Hina's eyes gloss up.

"Honey." Her mother looked at her father with a worried look.

"We didn't mean to create a child! And I know for a fact that he loves me.... because he was more caring and understanding about the situation than my own family. He makes me forget about the expectations and pressures you put on me... he makes me feel like myself when I'm with him. We're keeping the child." Hina said in a shakey tone before walking out.

"Hina!" Her mother called out for her as her father went red with rage.

Hina's

I aggressively wiped my tears as I walked towards the park to cool down. I breathed irregularly while walking but I abruptly stopped in my tracks when I saw a familiar figure slumped on the bench.

"Donghyuck..." I called out to him making him look up. The sight of his bruised face and busted lip making me gasp and run to his side.

"What happened?!" I asked as I cupped his face and looked at his face.

"Nothing, nothing happened. Don't worry." He said in a calm tone with a smile making tears brim my eyes. Knowing that his father hurts him I began crying at the thought of his father hurting him because of the pregnancy.

"It's not okay... it's all my fault-" Donghyuck quickly cupped my cheeks and kissed my lips.

"Don't. You aren't at fault. It's my fault for putting you in this situation. I love you okay... I'll protect you, I promise." He said making me sob as I hugged him.

"Dad wants me to abort." I sobbed as I hugged him making him tense before letting out a breath and hugging me tight.

"It's your choice... I can't really force you to keep the baby. I'll still love you no matter what your decision is." Donghyuck said making me break the hug and look at him.

"I... do you... want the baby?" I asked making his eyes soften.

"If given the chance... yes. I love you and our child. And I'll still love you if you decide not to keep it. But if you do consider... I promise... you won't have to worry about anything. I'll take care of everything." He said making me break into a sob.

"I'm scared... I want the baby too... but I'm scared dad might force me to let go of the baby." I said in a shakey tone making him wipe my tears as he smiled.

"Why are you worried? I'm here... your father will have to get past me first." He said while caressing my hair.

"You've suffered enough because of me... now let me suffer for you. I'll cry for you and I'll scream for you. Let me give back the love you gave me." Donghyuck said making me shake my head.

"That's not fair..." I cried making him chuckle.

"When have I ever been fair? All you need to do is think of a name for our little angel." Donghyuck said and booked my nose, making me giggle.

After having a talk with Donghyuck, we stood outside my apartment hand in hand, ready to face my family. As promised, Donghyuck personally asked to speak with my parents. After entering we the whole atmosphere was quiet until he spoke up.

"I deeply apologize for being so indecent and getting your daughter pregnant. I take full responsibility. But please... let our child live, I promise I'll take care of your daughter and our child with all my heart." Donghyuck said with his head touching the ground in a full bow making me feel touched as I stood up and sat next to him, before fully bowing.

"Dad, please... let us keep our baby." I said as I bowed making mom look at dad.

"You don't have a job, nor a house... how are you gonna raise a child?" He spoke making Donghyuck sit up straight and look at dad in the eye.

"I'll get a job... and a house. I'll do everything you say." He said firmly making dad look at me.

"He's stupid. Making big claims. But since he's so insistent, I wanna look for myself just how much of the things he claims he can do." Dad said making me widen my eyes.

"Thank you, dad." I said and bowed deeply as Donghyuck joined me.

A month after that we had a court marriage and a small dinner. Donghyuck's dad didn't attend but as long as we had each other it didn't matter. Although dad had his doubts, Donghyuck was able to get a decent job and with the help of his friends, he got a cute little house for us in the country side which was big enough to house us and one child.

"Hyuck..." I called out his name as we sat hand in hand at our corridor watching the sunset.

"Yes, love?" He said in a loving tone as he looked at me with adoration.

"I love you. And I know our daughter will love you too." I said with a knowing smile as tears glossed my eye. Donghyuck widened his eyes as he stood up.

"WE'RE HAVING A GIRL?!" He exclaimed making me nod as I began crying. Donghyuck cupped my cheeks and kissed me before pulling me into a tight hug.

"I love you so much! Thank you, thank you!" He exclaimed making me giggle as he wiped my tears.

"Oh my gosh... PINK! WE NEED TO PAINT THE HOUSE PINK!" He exclaimed and ran inside making me smile as I looked at my bump.

"Look at how excited dad already is for you." I said with a smile as I caressed my bump.

×××

Time went on and the Lee household soon had an angel in their arms. In the form of baby Chaein who definitely won the hearts of the otherwise angry grandparents. It was as though the light of happiness and success shone on the family.

"Dada... say Dada." Donghyuck said slowly in order for his daughter to follow his words.

"What are you doing?" Hina came in the room to see her husband and their 10 month old baby.

"She's too young to be able to say that." His wife said making him shake his head.

"Not our daughter. There's a prodigy in our family and it's her. I know she can do it. Say daaa daaa." He said in a sing song voice.

"Dadaaa" He continued making their daughter laugh.

He went on singing Dada for weeks until one day when he was asleep and Hina wasn't home she said her first words without anyone's knowledge.

"Dada." Little Chaein said with a smile without anyone ever finding out. Was she really a prodigy?

I feel asleep while writing it and originally I was gonna post it at midnight but I slept.... so it seemed a bit rushed. But I'll try to post another one. Maybe the one where Haechan and Hina are present when she says her not so first word.

But thats it for this one 🥹

Haechan! Happy birthday! I hope one day you have the woman and the family of your dreams 🩷🌸

Likes and rebloggs are appreciated 💖 ✨️

[whatsk-poppinhomies]

Pairing : FWB!Bangchan x F!Reader TW : suggestive content ; not actual smut though ; lots of cussing ; fighting ; angst with no happy ending ; Word Count : 4.3k Request : can i request a fic ? it can be any skz member you think best fits but i was thinking Chan… being fwb w him & when you go out together & run into old friends or family & they ask who he is you introduce him as just a friend but he gets upset because he thought you two were dating? 😬 if you’re able to can you make it extra angsty ? ☺️ A/N : Of course I can make it extra angsty! I've been thinking about this fic and how I'd write it for a good bit, and now I've finally got it! I hope this is angsty enough!! Thank you anonny for the request!!

Friends… They were essential in most people's lives. Friends were always there for you when you needed them, whether it was for a good time or a shoulder to cry on. Friends were important, and everyone loved having them. There were so many different kinds of friends too, and they all, in a way, served the same purpose. Friends were there to make you feel needed, wanted, they made you feel important when it seemed like no one else would. 

A… Beneficial friend was no different. When you needed something, that friend would be right there to give you exactly what you needed, and in a way, those kinds of friends were the best. There were no strings attached to that kind of friendship, and in most cases, you didn’t even have to hang out together. It was an easy going type of friendship that was simply there for both of your satisfaction. There was no requirement to text or call everyday, no obligation to actually spend any significant amount of time together. One might say that it was the easiest kind of relationship. 

A… Beneficial friend was no different. When you needed something, that friend would be right there to give you exactly what you needed, and in a way, those kinds of friends were the best. There were no strings attached to that kind of friendship, and in most cases, you didn’t even have to hang out together. It was an easy going type of friendship that was simply there for both of your satisfaction. There was no requirement to text or call everyday, no obligation to actually spend any significant amount of time together. One might say that it was the easiest kind of relationship. 

The friendship with Chan had started off how most of these types of arrangements would. You met online, and neither of you actually wanted a serious relationship. There was no time for that kind of commitment in either of your lives, but you both were needy and touch starved, it was a match made in heaven one might say, except the match was made solely for sinful purposes. 

Now, he was old fashioned about it, which is kind of silly to say considering nothing about what the two of you would be looked at as old fashioned in any way, shape or form. He wanted to get to know you first, and while it seemed like an unnecessary extra hurdle to go through just to get him in your bed or vice versa, you humored him. The conversation only lasted about 30 minutes, maybe an hour before he had you pinned down on the couch, which was exactly what you had wanted, but he had learned a little bit about you, and in the few moments that you were able to actually pay attention to what he was saying instead of how absolutely sexy he was, you had learned a bit about him too. 

Things had gone on like that for a good while, maybe a month or two. He’d come over and you’d both pretend to be interested in what the other had to say, but it only lasted so long before your hands were on one another and you’d both end up sweaty and tangled together. Most of the time you didn’t even make it to your room, your desperateness causing you to get what you needed wherever and whenever you could, whether that was on the living room couch, the floor, sometimes even the kitchen counter. You didn’t even care, and it seemed like he didn’t either. 

After those few months, he started bringing over snacks and drinks, and honestly, you didn’t really mind. You were parched, and so hungry after what the two of you did, that sometimes you didn’t even bother getting off of him before reaching over to grab something to snack on or one of the many water bottles to get a sip of before starting round 3 or 4. 

You did get comfortable around him, it was hard not to since he was over your apartment at least 3 times a week. Still, he was just a friend. Of course, that didn’t mean that the two of you didn’t watch movies together, and sometimes you’d eat dinner together, hell, you’d even cuddle up with him to watch movies or tv shows. It was still just a friend thing though, because at the end-or the beginning- of any of those things, it always started with the sex, and that was the main… the only reason you were still seeing him. He gave you what you wanted whenever you wanted it, and you gave him what he wanted. It was the most perfect, non stressful agreement and you absolutely loved it. 

“Chan…” You mumbled tiredly, shifting out from underneath his arm that had been heavily draped over your chest. He stirred slightly, but his arm only wrapped around you, trapping you beside him and against the mattress. “Chan!” You whispered out his name forcefully, trying to wake him up just enough to be free of his hold. 

“Sleeping.” He responded, not even partially pulled from his slumber to respond, yawning softly before turning his head away from you. He was always like this the morning after, it was annoyingly cute, but right now you were hungry, your mouth was dry, and instead of being annoyingly cute, it was flat out annoying. 

The muscles that you had gripped onto so tightly when he was rocking his hips into you last night were now so constricting, and you couldn’t seem to move them off of you even an inch. “Dammit, Chan.” You groaned, straining once more to get out from under his hold, and somehow, by the grace of whatever was out there, you got out, letting out a loud huff as you finally stood from the bed. 

“Rude.” He grumbled, finally lifting his head from the pillow, but his smile let you know that he was teasing, his eyes squinted to try to block out the light that was shining in through the window behind you. “Where ya goin’?” He asked, pushing himself up to reveal that he was still shirtless, his muscles contracting as he lifted himself onto his knees on the bed. 

“Hungry, gonna make breakfast.” You responded, trying not to look at him too long, knowing it would just lead into another round that your legs just wouldn’t be able to handle this early in the morning. You were exhausted still, but you were hungry, so hungry. 

A sheepish look spread across his face as he watched you get dressed, and he let out a soft sigh. “About that…” He started, and you looked up from the pants that you were grabbing off the floor to stare at him, waiting for him to tell you about just what he looked so guilty about. “I got hungry in the middle of the night and I ate the rest of your cereal… I thought that we could just go to the store together and get something when we woke up.” 

There were a lot of problems with what he had just told you. First off, he had eaten your cereal, which wasn’t such a big deal, but you knew that if you had to go out to get more you wouldn’t want it once you got back home. The second problem, the biggest problem, was the fact that he wanted to go out to the store… with you. That was a big no no, no one had ever seen the two of you together, and you wanted to keep it that way. It wasn’t because you were embarrassed of him, not in the slightest, but if you ran into someone that you knew, they’d ask about him and you didn’t want to get into that kind of conversation. 

But, alas, you didn’t want to pay for the cereal, especially not after he had been the one who finished it off. “Alright… just get ready fast, I’m hungry and it’s your fault.” He shot you a smug smile that you quickly looked away from, rolling your eyes as you walked out of the bedroom. 

You heard the rustling of jeans being pulled on and the soft grunt as he stretched, a sound that had become all too familiar to your ears after he had spent so many nights. “Okay, I’m ready! What are you waiting for? Let’s go!” He exclaimed, walking past you to grab his shoes and pull them on. He was so fucking annoying sometimes, and it took everything in you not to smack him for it. “You say you’re hungry but you’re taking forever!” 

You narrowed your eyes at him as you slipped your feet into your shoes and grabbed your purse off the hook. “Such an ass.” You muttered as you moved past him to open the door, his arm shooting up over your head to hold it open as you walked through. “And you��re paying. I actually think I want the works for breakfast, ya know, bacon, eggs, sausage, pancakes. Everything.” 

Of course, you were being a smartass. You knew that if you actually wanted all of that, you’d have to help make it and you weren’t up for that much work this early in the morning. 

He smiled to you, nodding his head in agreement. “We’ll get the works then. I cook a mean brekky.” His lopsided grin, the way his eyes squinted up whenever he smiled. He truly could have any girl he wanted, yet here he was, quite alright with being simply fuck buddies with you. You counted yourself lucky, because you truly did enjoy those nights with him and how he made you feel. 

“Y/N!?” The voice called out to you as you walked down the aisle towards the eggs. The store hadn’t been packed, and that’s the only reason you had chosen this particular store. You didn’t want to be seen with him, and you were sure he didn’t want to be seen with you by anyone that knew either of you personally.

The hairs on the back of your neck stood up, the voice was so familiar and how could it not be? It was your best friend's voice, and usually you’d whip around to gush about how coincidental it was that you’d run into each other here at this hour. Instead, you started walking faster, pushing the cart ahead of you and almost crashing into someone that was coming around the corner. “I think someone is calling for you.” Chan mused, and you glared up at him, your tongue pressing against the inside of your cheek as you shook your head at him. 

“Yeah? No shit…” You muttered rather harshly, but quickly changed your expression as you turned around to see your friend rushing over to you. “Hey!” You put it on thick, pretending to be excited to see her, but you saw her eyes glance at Bangchan and then back at you, the corner of her lips pulling up. 

“Who’s this? You didn’t tell me you had a boyfriend!” Now she was gushing, practically eyefucking him as she continued to look him over. This was exactly why you didn’t want to be out in public with him. Not because your friend was looking at him like she wanted to jump his bones right now, for that, you could care less, he wasn’t yours to get jealous over anyway. No, it was because of the immediate assumption, the conclusions that people would jump to. 

“I didn’t tell you I had a boyfriend because I don’t have a boyfriend.” You retorted, trying to keep up your playfully enthusiastic tone. “He’s just my friend. I ran out of cereal and he’s the only one who has a car, so I asked him to take me to the store.” A white lie never hurt anyone, and it wasn’t even that big of a lie in the first place. You had run out of cereal, and he did have a car that he could drive you to the store in, and you had asked him to take you. So actually, it wasn’t a lie at all. 

Chan didn’t say anything, and that was a good thing. You didn’t want him slipping up and telling your friend what was really going on. Not that you thought she’d judge you for it, she had friendships like this multiple times. It’s just that, while she was open to spilling the beans of her business to you so carelessly, you were far more reserved about what was going on in your private life, especially what went on in your bedroom. 

“I really have to get done my shopping though, I’ll catch up with you some other time.” You said, hoping that she’d take the very obvious hint that you were just trying to get in and out of there, and thankfully, she did. She waved a quick goodbye to you and Chan before walking away and you let out a small sigh of relief, ready to continue on with your little shopping trip, but then he started walking away too. “Hey, where are you going? You said you’d get the stuff for breakfast!” You called after him, leaving the cart in the middle of the aisle to follow him when he didn’t turn around. 

“I’ll wait in the car.” He said flatly, there was no sign of him joking or teasing right now, he sounded so serious. What the fuck was his problem? “Just get your stuff and I’ll drop you back off at your apartment.” He didn’t wait for your response, walking through an empty checkout lane quickly to get to the exit and walk out of the store. 

You could continue your shopping, hoping that whatever had crawled up his ass in the short span of the two minutes that your friend had stopped the both of you, would crawl right back out while he was waiting for you. You didn’t want to though, especially since you had left your purse in his car, under the assumption that he was going to pay for the groceries anyway. You had no choice but to follow him out. 

What had happened though? He seemed fine earlier, nothing had even changed. “Hey!” You called out once more when you walked out of the store, seeing that he hadn’t even made it through the parking lot to his car yet. “Chan!” You called out again when he didn’t even acknowledge your calling, but he kept his back facing you. It didn’t hurt, it was just agitating. He was being a real asshole right now, and he didn’t even have the common courtesy to tell you why. 

It was so embarrassing, sprinting across the parking lot to get to the car at the same time that he did. You never chased after people, it just wasn’t something that you did. If someone didn’t want to be around you, you didn’t care, if someone didn’t want to talk to you, well that was better since you didn’t actually like talking to people either. “What?” He snapped when you stood between him and the driver's door, and it took you back a little. Why the hell was he so mad at you? 

“The fuck you mean ‘what’? What the hell is your problem?” You huffed out, slightly breathless from your trek across the lot. He was putting you through some extra work and that pissed you off. He scoffed, turning away from you, and your skin was crawling with agitation. Why was he like this? “If you wanna be a little bitch, fine. But don’t take it out on me, especially since I don’t know what your fucking problem is.” 

His hands flew up in the air before landing on the roof of the car on either side of your head. It was crazy how, even though things were heated and definitely not in any way sexual at all, being pinned against the car by him between his very muscular arms, had you feeling all types of ways. “No… No you know what the problem is, you just don’t want to fucking face it. And if anyone is a bitch, it’s you.” Your mouth dropped open and your eyes widened, not used to him talking to you like that ever. Shit, even if you had asked for him to speak to you like that in the bedroom, he would refuse. It just wasn’t like him. 

You shook your head, shoving him back, finally snapping back to the reality that was in front of you. “Maybe if you fucking told me what was the problem I’d actually know. Instead you want to act like a dick in the parking lot. Go off though, I’ll wait in the car for your little conniption fit to be over and then maybe you’ll be ready to talk to an actual fucking adult.” You snapped back, storming around the front of the car to climb in, slamming the door shut once you were seated. The ride would be awkward as hell, that you were already well aware of, but you didn’t care. You needed to get home. 

He stood outside of the car for a couple more seconds, maybe even a whole minute, you weren’t exactly counting, but once he got in you could feel the anger radiating off of him. “Anything else you want to use me for?” He muttered humorlessly once he was inside, shoving his key into the ignition. 

His words threw you for a loop, and while you had so much to say to him, so many questions, it wouldn’t be wise to speak those questions while he was driving. He was clearly upset, and while your mind was slowly but surely piecing together the puzzle, you wanted to hear from him what was really going on. 

Thankfully you were wearing your seatbelt, because as soon as he got out front of your apartment, he slammed on the brakes, the sudden jolt sending you forward in your seat, the belt training against your chest, you were mere inches away from the dashboard. “You’re such a fucking asshole.” You seethed, quickly unhooking the belt and pushing open the door. 

“You’re not gonna invite me inside? Or do you only do that when you think I’ll give you my dick?” He retorted cockily, and it was like everything turned red, the anger inside of you reaching its boiling point. 

You were already out of the car, you could have just slammed the door shut and walked up to your apartment and left him out there to sort through his own shit, but something inside of you told you to keep it going, and maybe it was the excitement of what might come at the end of the argument. “That was the fucking agreement, Chan!” You shouted back to him, leaning into the car so that he could hear you, so you could see him. “And you didn’t seem to have a problem with it when it first started!” 

His hands slammed down on the steering wheel as he let out a disgruntled groan, and then his head snapped in your direction. “Close the fucking door!” He shouted, and you couldn’t help but scream, backing up and slamming the door as you stepped up on the curb. It was frustrating, he was so fucking frustrating. Why did you even continue to humor him and his ridiculous antics? You wouldn’t… Not when he was acting this way. He was making you out to be some sort of fucking villain. 

You didn’t bother to watch him drive off, whatever he was doing now was his own business. That’s how it always was, how it was set up to be. Whatever he did outside of your apartment was his own thing, whatever the two of you did when you weren’t together was none of each other's business. “Stupid fucking… fuck!” You sighed loudly, stomping up the stairs to your apartment. The way he was acting, it was out of line. You had never seen him like this before, and even though you knew that you shouldn’t want it, a part of you did want him to come chasing after you, to continue the argument in your apartment when it would end just the way you wanted it to. 

“I wasn’t finished!” He called out, the sound of his steps racing up the stairs had your heart racing as your key hung out of the lock in your front door. “I guess that’s what you do best though. Once you’re done with me you can act like I don’t even exist anymore. I’m nothing but a friend to you.” The anger was there, it was definitely still there, but there was something else too. A pain that could be heard, his words were laced with it. 

You twisted the key harshly, throwing open the door, about to storm into your apartment, but he took it upon himself to walk in ahead of you, only furthering your annoyance with him. “I already fucking told you!” You shouted once you were inside, slamming the door behind you before turning to look at him as he stood in the middle of the entryway. “This was the agreement! No commitment, no strings, nothing! That’s how it’s supposed to fucking be!” 

His hand slammed against the wall, his head falling back as he stared up at the ceiling. You saw his adams apple bob, his swallowing was so loud. “I don’t… I don’t want it to be like this anymore…” He said, no more shouting, no more anger, it was nothing but the pain that had completely taken over. You were stunned, and if you had known that this is what he wanted it to turn into, you would have called it off before it had even started. 

“That’s ridiculous, Christopher.” You muttered, and his face scrunched up at the sound of his name, a name that you never used with him before. It was strictly off limits, but you were using it, you were just as serious as he was now. 

“Is it?” He quizzed, looking at you out of the corner of his eye. “I just thought that that’s the way it would end up. I mean… I’ve been spending the night here almost every fucking night. We have movie nights, date nights… We don’t even fuck that much anymore. I just come over and you seem so happy to see me… I just thought…” 

You shook your head, immediately regretting the decision that your past self had made to agree to those kinds of nights, those kinds of moments that had obviously given him the wrong impression. “I like spending time with you… But I didn’t want a boyfriend. I’m not ready for that, I don’t have the time…” 

His palm came down against the wall once more, his entire body swiveling to face you. “Bullshit!” He shouted it loudly, the anger back, and it was coming at you full force this time. “You don’t have time for a boyfriend, but you’re available every fucking day and night as long as you get to fuck me, right?! That’s bull and you know it!” 

Your jaw was set as you felt the tears coming on, you didn’t want them to fall because he’d assume, like he clearly does all the time, that they mean you feel bad, when they were nothing more than tears of anger from being yelled at like this. “Fine! I have a whole lot of fucking time on my hands. But what if… What if I just don’t want to date you? I don’t want to date anyone! I just wanted to have sex and hang out with you! Why is that so bad?!” 

He scoffed, his hands running through his hair before letting them fall down his face. “Because your selfish wants fucking hurt people, Y/N.” He said flatly, shaking his head at you. “What if I wanted something more? What if I love you? What if waking up beside you every morning is the happiest I’ve ever been, and falling asleep next to you gives me the best sleep of my life? What if I’m in love with everything about you and I don’t want to let that go? Huh?” 

You took a deep breath, it was shaky, and he was right. You were selfish, you wanted something that would clearly end up hurting him, and part of that agreement that you so carelessly had thrown in his face, was that it would end once he or you found someone. He had found someone, but sadly, that someone was you. “I’m sorry…” You mumbled, unable to even look him in the eyes now. Of course you felt guilty, you weren’t a sociopath, you had sympathy. “I just… Can’t be what you want me to be… I can’t be that for you…” 

“But you already are!” He was pleading now, his words holding in them an urgency that had your heart breaking, not for you, but for him. He just wasn’t getting it. “What difference would it make if you were my girlfriend? We’d just do the same thing that we’ve been doing. Nothing would change!” 

Your head shook quickly. He didn’t understand, and you didn’t expect him to. “It would make a big difference…” You sighed, chewing nervously on your bottom lip. “I’m sorry. I just… I can’t… I’m sorry.” 

He nodded his head slowly, his breaths shaky and his eyes glossed over. “Fine…” He muttered, walking towards your door. “Just, don’t text or call… Please. Can you at least do that for me? It’ll make it easier to get over you if I could just pretend like you don’t exist anymore.” 

[voidsteffy]

Promises

Jai (Mirchi) x fem!OC Madhu

A/N: @mahi-wayy asks me to write a Jai fic and I write a Jai fic, it's as simple as that. After that Rajasaab snippet that thrust me back into the immaculate Mirchi first half Darling feelz, I was held at gunpoint to relive my Mirchi days (I was the one holding the gun btw). Angsty ending beware. Some violence. idk I suck at feelers for fic segments. Can't reveal the ending sorry. Tell if there's anything I must add. Btw, not proofread!

Word Count: 2368 words

Glossary: Mavayya - father-in-law Atthayya - mother-in-law

“I’ve never seen an Anthropology major so against peace.”

That’s what Jai said to her after the rest of the house had finally left her alone. A few hours ago, Madhu had showed up at the doorstep with bloody knuckles and a few bruises. He had kept mum when the rest of his relatives, now almost like her family too, fretted over her and her slight bruises. To their credit, though they were happy that Madhu was getting involved in matters of the town’s welfare, they were very worried that she might have gotten seriously hurt.

“I’m not against peace Jai. I just think that sometimes it might necessitate slight aggression.”

Jai’s face scrunched up in inexplicable worry, and for a moment she felt crippling guilt. Madhu winced as she angled herself towards him in bed, feeling quite less energetic by the minute. He avoided her gaze but she had felt the tension and anger simmering in his eyes. His jaw was taut, his gaze avoidant from where he sat at the foot of the bed.

“I’m sorry,” she said.

“For defending the farmers by beating those goons or for getting hurt in the process?”

“For getting caught.”

Jai rolled his eyes and his hands grabbed hers so sharply, desperately. He slid down from the bed, crawling onto his knees to be beside her. He kissed her bruised knuckles, running his fingers over them as gently as he could.

Most of the people who knew her, saw Madhumati, the jovial city girl. But he was the first one to see the fire in her heart, the way she cared so much about protecting the defenceless. Figures, that he’d fall for the one girl who cared for social service as keenly as his father whom he’d never known until a few days ago. Maybe that was why his mother was reluctant about her in the beginning, but it was impossible not to see the pure goodness behind whatever Madhu said or did.

“Things seem different here. I’m not asking for you to change yourself, but please,”

“Please what?”

Even after all the years of being together and one year of married life, Madhu had a tiny spec of fear crawling somewhere in her. That Jai would leave her. He wouldn’t love her anymore because she was too brash, because she was away from home a lot, away from him a lot, for social causes. Because he had to defend her to everyone in his life and she wouldn’t blame him if at some point, he ran out of reasons to ever stand up for her. Madhu wouldn’t blame him if he ever stopped wanting her near. She’s been trying to run from herself since she could remember.

“I can’t lose you bujji.”

He’d always called her bujji, and she always wanted to call him that in return but she could never bring herself to do it. The world swayed on its axis for a blink of an eye and when her eyes accustomed themselves to the shock, Madhu realised that all of this was real.

She was loved.

Loved, like you had someone on your side all the time. Loved, like you could spend the rest of your life loving them back. You had someone that kissed your knuckles and put his head on your chest. You had someone’s hair to run your hands through after a tough day.

She was so loved.

Tears sprang to her eyes, rolling down her temples to the pillow that smelled just like him.

And to think she was so ready to put it all at risk.

Of course, the heart is stupid and its grip on the tongue is more envious of the title; so the first thing that comes out of her mouth sounds like a hoarse tantrum.

“And you think I can lose you?”

Jai is quiet for a long time. Madhu wondered whether he went through the same epiphany as her. She wished her love to be his epiphany just this once despite having nurtured it for years for it to be a click of the moment.

“Jai, I see you in your anger. I see you when you threaten Mavayya’s enemies. I see it when you hide their beaten bodies behind their own cars. I see it when you’re angry and you don’t want me to look at you. But I do, and I’m not scared, because I understand. And I can get angry too.”

He nodded, his face burrowed into the soft fabric of the bed. There seemed to be a conversation in his own head, the angel battling the devil for control. He wouldn’t ever lose Madhu but he too understood the gravity of the situation as she had. Neither of them could afford to let their anger take root. Mavayya insisted there was always a peaceful way of winning a war.

“Ok…” he shook his head, like he was trying to tumble the idea of something out of his head. “Ok ok.”

Her hands were still buried in his hair, smoothening it out just like his mother said she used to.

“I promise,” he looked up at her finally. “I promise. I promise I’ll let go of my anger. Whatever it takes, I’ll never choose the violent way ever again. I’ll protect you.”

Jai looked expectantly at her and she knew he wanted her to say the same thing. But she smiled, shaking her head.

“Please don’t ever promise that. I can’t promise to never choose violence. But I promise I will always look for peace before I choose violence.”

He didn’t look convinced, like they were close to being back to square one.

“Not all of the world bends to peace Jai. There are people out there who will kill the people we love no matter how softly we could handle issues. So I promise I’ll always protect us, our family, this village. I promise. And I promise I won’t put myself in danger voluntarily again Jai. Trust me.”

They exchanged more such promises, almost like they were creating their own vows in the sanctity of their realisations behind the locked doors of the room. Her body didn’t want to hurt that much anymore. And so Madhu and Jai found themselves chest-to-chest, his toes pulling the hem of her sari higher and higher as his buttons slowly became undone and his hair messier under her hands.

Suddenly, it occurred to her that she hadn’t mentioned one crucial thing.

She kissed his temple, “I love you.”

—--------------

Quite some time had passed and the family— surprisingly including Mavayya and Atthayya, had planned a small reception for Madhu and Jai as a couple. Everybody in the kind cosy town knew that she was married to their favourite heir. But since he was that - an heir, their own regional royalty, it was decided that a feast and celebration was called for.

The farmers whom Madhu had helped before were grateful and insisted on gifting her half of their gorintaku (henna) crop. Everyone’s hands were pulsing, cooling red that auspicious day— most of the men refused to hide their loving hands that applied mehendi to their spouse’s or betrothed’s hands. Everyone was happy seeing their serious authoritative prince oh so tenderly hold his wife’s palms while he rolled the mehendi into balls and imprinted designs all over her hands.

All of this reminded Jai of their first wedding reception. It had been a court wedding since neither of them ever thought of making it a spectacle after Madhu’s parents passed away during a workers’ agitation gone wrong. But now everything was bright and shining, and Jai had a father who loved her as much as he loved his own son. His mother looked younger when she laughed with his father. Vennela’s eyes shone like stars as she admired them: like seeing her life’s hero get back his heroine.

The shehnai signalled Madhu’s presence as she stepped out of the house.

She thought she saw Jai catch his breath.

She had the most beautiful yellow sari draped around the curves of her tall body, the golden and ruby all over it shimmering in the rough sunlight. A dark bindi, kohl in her eyes, your nuptial thread hanging down your neck, hair adorned with the flowers of all the gardens in the entire village, hands adorned with glass bangles that the wives of the town gifted her after she had helped them start their businesses, silver anklets tinkling melodiously with every step - his first gift to her. Madhumati was the most divine bride he had seen and for her, he was no less.

A silk shirt that matched streaks of gold with her sari, a matching lungi, garlands of fragrant flowers and kundans hanging from his hands, his gold watch - her first gift to him.

Everyone cheered as Jai passed the garland back to Vennela to help Madhu up some small steps. She took his hand despite needing no help, and it became evident that he knew that too. He smiled, almost looking like he bowed,

“Inta bagunte ela bujji? Nenemaipovali cheppu?” (How can you be so beautiful, bujji? What would happen to me?)

Her smile widened, and for a moment she allowed herself to swim deep within his admiring gaze.

Flower petals already came showering on them and everyone said they might have been born just to witness a couple like them.

Jai and Madhu ended up in the centre of the crowd with all their family members, Vennela managing the situation to appease the people that flourished across town.

She felt happy on seeing the house regain its former happiness, the kind that she had only dreamt of when she was little. Vennela was always so sweet and innocent, she was Madhu’s best friend despite having spent so little time with her. Completing her chance to say a few words, Vennela winked at her, all but pushing Madhu forward to say something.

Madhu looked back at the rest of the family. Jai stood between Mavayya and Atthayya and everyone else while the town police officers in attendance stood to the side. They all smiled, asking her to go ahead. They never opposed Madhu’s relation with the pulse of this land, these people. She smiled, pulling Jai along to address the people.

“We are so happy for all the love you have shown us. They say it’s not a celebration until all the guests feel like family. You are our family now, and—”

They spoke in turns to the excited crowd, letting them butt in between to shout out their blessings.

But among the happy faces, she noticed a masked man weave his way through the crowd.

It all happened so suddenly. One second she was smiling at Gangamma insisting that you have a child soon, and the next— everything was chaos. People she didn’t recognise jumped at them from all sides, and it was her and Jai against them. The crowd gave an uproar of panic, people stampeding haphazardly as men charged with weapons.

Jai pushed her back, giving a way cry that tore through dry and humid bloodthirsty air. He fought the goons off till the veranda was soaked in streaks of red mixing with the holy water they had sprinkled not that long ago.

Everything was back to normal, she had realised belatedly as spots of black enveloped the corners of her vision— everyone’s lives were threatened once again, and Jai had no choice but to choose violence.

The earth gave away under her feet and she was caught by a pair of arms. Blood ran down her neck, and something loud echoed in her ears. Her eyes couldn’t help but flutter close in pain.

Jai’s father had caught Madhu, writhing in pain at an injury, while Vennela harboured Atthayya and the rest of the family inside the house into safety.

“Jai! Jai!”

Mavayya shouted and shouted till the name rang through her body. Madhu gasped for air, gasped for that name.

“Jai! She’s hurt!”

Every fibre in her body hurt when Jai came running, crashing onto the rough wet ground to take her from his father’s grip.

Jai had held Madhu like this many times - her head in the crook of his elbow, his eyes finding the universe in hers. But this time her head hung limp and heavy in his hold.

He slapped her cheeks as she fought to keep her eyes open.

“Bujji? Bujji look at me, bujji!”

That’s what he always called Madhu. ANd she hadn’t even managed to say it back to him.

Madhu whimpered as he shook her like a rag doll, crying out for him again and again. It hurt, it felt like hot and cold daggers running through her heart. Jai kept his grip firm on a wound on her neck, which seemed to pour out blood the more he gripped it.

The yellow of her sari was drenched in her blood now, and she forced her eyes open to look at Jai, one last time. Her husband.

Her hands found his face, wiping away his tears with blood as she stuttered.

“B-Buj-jji?”

The first time she reciprocated his special little form of affection, was also the last time she ever would.

“Hey… Hey! Hey! Bujji? Look at me, come on look at me! Bujji, open your eyes……… Open your eyes! Please, please. Bujji! No!”

Her cries cease, leaving Jai’s sobs for her lonely and orphaned, ringing through the air with more pain than his rage ever allowed him.

Madhu had once told him that when she’d die, she would be at peace if it was in his arms while she looked into his eyes, knowing that there was nothing she would have done differently.

That day, the town mourned the death of their chieftain. It would be years until the family manages to smile again but not that long until Jai avenges Madhu’s death with kindness and the violence of her memory and absence. He failed in his promise to protect her but would not make promises he couldn’t keep anymore.

Jai had only one wife, and the day she died…

A part of him never came back.

THE END

(ps: mahi, I hope you liked reading this🫂 and I hope it satisfied your Jai fic appetite that we spoke of. maybe I'll write more who knows)

[applejuicefruit]

Heyy I love your blog but I am pretty nervous to make a first request but here we go.Can you do a angsty fluff one shot where the reader is chubby/midzise with curves and doesn’t like the way she looks and thinks Kylian will leave her cause of that so he finds her crying when he comes back from training but Kylian is really sweet and assures her she is beautiful.Thank you for your service🙌🏻(sorry if the explanation is too long I just really got into it,excited to see if you’ll write this😙)

As a midsize person I say yes to this ❤️

kylian mbappe x midsize/curvy/chubby reader

tw: reader being insecure and self conscious

Perfect as you are

You never understood how someone like Kylian, the Kylian Mbappè could date someone like you. You’ve seen his ex girlfriends, all models or influencers, with flawless skins and perfect bodies and then there was you. You didn’t think you were ugly, you were just you. A little heavier and chubbier than the other girls, with some soft curves and rolls and even if it was a part of you, most of the times you wish it wasn’t. You knew that the moment you made your relationship public, the media would have tried to end you. That’s what they do. And it didn’t make it easier being curvier and dating a famous football player. Most of the time, magazines compared you to Kylian’s exes or , the worst thing, they compared you to other football players girlfriends. You knew you weren’t as fit as Antonela was or, as a big influence as Georgina was, but you never cared about those things, the only thing you cared for was the love you had for Kylian and the love he had for you.

So how did you end up crying on the bathroom floor?

You were scrolling through instagram and you saw Kylian liking some models pictures. You knew they were friends but still, it made you hurt. Knowing that you wouldn’t be as confident as them while they post their outfits or their bikini pictures, knowing that you would never have the success that they have and the love of other people. It was almost like that all of your fears came back in a rush and made you feel uncomfortable in your own skin. You didn’t understand why.

You were happy with Kylian so why feeling so insecure now?

You were too lost in your own thoughts that you didn’t hear Kylian calling your name from the living room. He just came back from training and he was a bit confused when he didn’t see you greeting him as you always do so he started looking for you but when you didn’t reply at his calls he heard you sobbing from the other side of the bathroom and worriedly he got into the room with you.

“Kylian? What-what are you doing here?” you asked him when you saw him kneeling in front of you.

“I came back home from practice babe…” he told you softly “why is my queen crying?” he asked and that nickname he gave you made you smile a bit. He always treated you like a queen - always making sure you were okay, you were happy. He loved spoiling you, with dates, flowers, jewels and expensive gifts that you didn’t even need, but he loved doing it never less.

“Oh…nothing…just, nothing” you whispered.

“Babe?” he looked you straight into your eyes, almost trying to read your soul and that made you feel worst because he just wanted to help you and you were shielding him away.

“I swear it’s nothing…I just let my emotions get the best of me sometimes…” you whispered trying to stand up but he blocked you, sign that you weren’t leaving the bathroom until you talked about what was bothering you.

“Can you tell me what is wrong baby? So I can help you?” he gently asked wiping away some of your tears with his hands.

“It’s just…” you had no idea how you were going to tell to the most perfect man in the world that you were feeling shit “…I don’t know, sometimes I let my thoughts have the best on me you know? I feel like…like I’m not good enough for you…I feel like one day you’re gonna love someone else, you’re gonna find someone else who looks more like you…and the fact that this might happen scares me to death because I love you so much and I don’t want to lose you…” you sobbed harder “…I get compared to your exes every single day and it hurts me knowing that I look nothing like them, they’re all flawless and perfect and in those moments I can only hate my body because you have no idea how many nights I’ve spent crying wishing I had a flat stomach or thin thighs or a perfect skin and I know I can’t have that…” you said letting it all out, it couldn’t be worse - you thought “…sometimes I even wonder how someone like you can date someone like me…” you whispered the last part.

Kylian’s heart ached for you. He loved you so much and it broke him hearing you talking bad about yourself.

“Y/n, baby…please don’t ever say something like that about your body , please, I love your body so much you have no idea…” he begged you “come on…stand up” he helped you standing up and you were looking at him with a confused look.

He put you in front of the mirror and gently lifted your t-shirt up.

“Kylian what are you…” you spoke but he stopped you.

“Let me…” he removed your shirt as you stood only in your bra and pajamas pants in front of your mirror “let me show you how much I love you and your body okay?” he kissed your cheek gently and that made you smile “I love your chest and tummy babe…the way it’s always so soft when I touch it” he put his hands on your stomach “they way it’s always so comfortable every time I lay my head on top of it and I fell asleep, they way it contains all of your organs that make you feel alive…I love your rolls and soft stomach, it’s perfect…” he whispered looking directly at you from the mirror “and I love your chest, your breast…well you know why but” he cracked a joke between all of his seriousness “but I love it mostly because I can hear your heart beating, your beautiful heart, your kind and pure heart that I love so much” he kissed your cheek once again making you smile as you were starting to feel confident again “and those thighs, baby if I hear you talking bad about my perfect thighs again I swear…” he joked knowing how much he loved your thighs “I love spending my days with my face on your things and in between your thighs” he smirked and you couldn’t stop laughing “and your face, your smile, your eyes and your lips that I could spend all day kissing…I just love you so much and it hurts me hearing you talk bad about yourself, I wish I could give you my eyes so you could see what I see…the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met in my life…the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with…” he became more serious during the last part and you really believed in his words.

“I know but sometimes it’s just hard…thank you Kylian…for always being here with me, and for me, O love you so much…” you turned around to face him and in that moment he captured your lips in a soft kiss. His hands on your still naked waits made you shiver a bit while his tongue slowly traced yours.

“I will always be here for you, always” he said making you smile because you could see all the honesty behind his eyes.

Once you got your t-shirt back you decided to order something to eat while you were both cuddle up in bed keeping each others warm and safe.

[lost-girl-2021]

Part three of "Amnesia (or is it . . . )

I might/probably will make another part/parts of this, but here's the 'big thing' ig. It's a tad bit long but I couldn't find a great stopping point and figured I'd just give it all at once. A lil angsty ngl, but most things I write are. Side note: if anyone wants to run with this idea and make a full-blown fic, please do! And please tag me, cause I like reading fics more than writing them lol. I'd love to see what other people come up with (also please tag/comment fic recs, I'm desperate bro)

He liked floating in the water, the sun shining on his face. A little ways away, Tuk and some of the younger Metkyina kids were digging up pretty shells. Tomorrow, they had a class where they’d be learning a special, ancient kind of jewelry making. It’d take them a full season to finish their creations. Spider remembered doing something similar when he was younger. It was a lesson in patience above anything else. He made his for Tuk, actually. He’d finished it right as she’d been born, gifted it to her the first time he saw her. A necklace, he recalls. All of the Sully clan had gotten some gift or another from him. All the avatars left on the planet had pieces made by a little, clumsy Spider, too. Their human halves got almost matching, smaller items. He hadn’t fully understood the switch between bodies and hadn’t wanted anyone to feel left out.

He’d almost forgotten all he made for Norm until he saw him again. 

The avatar man stood small, shoulders hunched and eyes big. Sadness radiated in everything, from the twitch of his ears to the low swoosh of his tail. He looked at Spider and felt sad. Crapily made, messy attempts at armbands and bracelets and a crooked necklace hung from his body like he’d never consider taking them off.

They locked eyes and Norm waved and Spider pretended to look confused. “Hey, Tuk, who’s that guy?”

The little girl squealed “Norm!” so loud birds nearby flew away.

He went out after her reluctantly, following her footprints through the sand and towards the Avatar he dreaded more than most.

Of course, wherever Norm went, so did loads of human technology. Case upon case of machinery to run tests Spider didn’t need. He bit his tongue as he fought to stand still, watching the man look him over.

Well, shit.

__

Norm mumbled to himself as the scans loaded, frowning down at the picture of his brain. Spider tried not to look at him, it made his stomach hurt.

“Have you been having headaches lately, kiddo?”

He blinked. Now that Norm mentioned it . . . “Uh, yeah.”

“How often?”

“Like, I dunno, every few days?” He shrugged, not really sure. “They don’t last too long, though.”

“And is it more here,” He ran a finger across the top of his head. “Here,” His forehead, the bridge of his nose. “Or here?” He cupped the back of his head, in the spot where his hair started and his spine ended.

Spider gasped, pulling away. “Ow.”

He didn’t like the look on the scientist's face.

——

Norm dismissed him to finish his day running and swimming and learning with his friends. He’d met their newfound companions, two boys and a girl who looked at Lo’ak like he was everything. Spider pretended not to notice, sticking close to Neteyam as they sat half on a small island. The oldest Sully boy had gravitated toward Spider again and again since they’d both healed enough to leave home. He could remember a time when they had been the closest, when Kiri was too enthralled with Mo’at and her stories and Lo’ak was too itty-bitty to play. The memories were blurry and half-there, but they were happy. He wondered in Neteyam remembered them, too. That wasn’t why he was sticking close, of course. It was Neteyam’s job as the oldest (oldest Sully, Spider was still the oldest kid, despite everyone insisting height aged them or some nonsense like that) to watch out for him. It would look bad for him to lose the ‘amnesiac’ in the water.

Not that his story would last for much longer with Norm hanging around. He was half-sure Jake and Neytiri would come storming out yelling at him any minute now. Spider stretched out and easily pulled on the latches of his mask. Taking in a deep breath, he pulled it off his face, rubbing a hand over the aching lines pressed into his skin. He enjoyed the feel of the breeze on his cheeks, the sunlight warm and everything fresh. Oh, how he wished he could chuck the mask into the water, could breathe without it. Could be one of the People and not one of the invaders.

“Take a breath, Spi.” Neteyam ordered gently, always watching. Begrudgingly, Spider raised the mask to his face and pressed it back into his skin, taking in another deep breath. He removed it once more, only to cup some water with his free hand and scrub the sweat and grime from his face. He washed up often and could hold his breath longer than most humans he knew, but there was only so much he could do to fight to keep his face clean.

Sighing, he secured his mask back on his face, rolling onto his side and peering up at his almost-brother.

“We should work on your hair tonight.” He commented, pulling gently on one of his locs. “It’s grown fast.”

Not that fast. It’d just been a long time since he’d been able to take care of it. Spider hummed, thinking to himself. He wondered how far Neteyam’s generosity would stretch.

Carefully, he spoke. “I don’t remember how.”

The other boy froze for a half-second, before reaching down and running a hand over his head. “That’s alright. I’ll help you.”

The twisting feeling in his stomach came back. Guilt. Neteyam was hurt, barely a week past getting shot.

“It’s okay, I can figure it out.” He assured, ignoring how that hurt even more. He didn’t want to do it himself. He wanted to be little again, when Neytiri and Jake still saw him as a little kid and not anything else. He missed the days when Mo’at, Neytiri, and Jake would each take one of the three of them, twisting and braiding and trimming hair expertly. He remembered being ten and deciding he wanted to look like Toruk Makto, grinning so big when it was done and they matched. Even if he started doing his own hair a little bit earlier than the others, started having to wait until after the two, then three, then four Sully kids before his own got fixed up— well, it didn’t matter. Because, it still got done. Until, eventually, like all things, it just didn’t.

“Spider, I can help.” He grabbed him by the shoulder, stretching his long arm. “Let me help you.”

His whole body hurt, physically ached with pain he couldn’t describe. He was a monster.

“Spi?”

“I forgot that I— I told Norm I’d go back in a few hours.” He raised up, brushing Neteyam off and peering towards the village, close enough by that he could see a woman walking along the edge of the beach. He didn’t hesitate to dive, swimming fast and deep. He couldn’t stand to look at his friends anymore, couldn’t bear the guilt. 

Stumbling onto land, he made his way to the home that was slowly becoming familiar to him. He knew that his mat would be between Neteyam and Lo’ak, Kiri curled up on one side, Jake, Neytiri and baby Tuk on the other. At night, they’d cover him in soft woven blankets and make sure he stayed warm throughout the night. If he had a nightmare or grew cold, he could curl into one of his larger friends (brothers) easily. Like he’d done it a thousand times before. In the morning, Neytiri would hum or sing softly and Jake would run a hand over each of their heads when he thought they were still asleep. He could pretend and pretend for days, weeks, decades and hold onto that warmth (that love) even if he didn’t deserve it.

But, could his soul handle the burden of his lies?

He stumbled into the Sully’s home, expecting all the adults to be hidden away talking about him or some other problem they had to deal with. But, there, right there, was Norm. Who came all this way and risked his safety for Spider.

Norm used to carry him around on his shoulders and throw him in the air and sing silly songs to make him laugh. He called him Spider and made sure he brushed his teeth and helped him with his math homework. Norm helped to raise him and Spider repaid him in lies.

“Why are you crying, buddy?”

He hadn’t realized he was. Opening his mouth to say so, all he managed to get out was a sobbed “I’m sorry.”

“Oh, Spider.”

Norm was not a hugger. He was a carry-er, a lift-er, a help-you-er. Just until he could do it himself, until he got good enough to take care of himself. But, suddenly, Norm was hugging him and embarrassingly enough Spider was pretty much sat in his lap and he really was much too old for this—

It did feel nice, though.

He buried his face in Norm’s chest, relishing in the dark and the quiet of the moment. He wished he could be little again, when it was okay to be scared and be held. He missed being taken care of.

It was hard, being with Quaritch and the others. He treated Spider like some weird mix of soldier, son, and prisoner. They woke up early and worked hard the whole day, barely taking any breaks. When he got hurt, it was patched up and then he was expected to get right back up. It wasn’t like the forest he knew, where they could have days to play and have fun even during the most boring chores and classes. There was no place to rest that was safe, no time outside of his mask when he wasn’t in a cell. His songchord was gone, taken. His skin was burnt. He was in a constant state of fight, fight, fight. Even if Quaritch called him son and laughed at his jokes— even if on quiet, cold nights he told him stories of his mom and didn’t comment when he buried himself under one of the spare jackets, big enough to be a blanket on him. None of that was safe or home or . . . 

It wasn’t this.

“I— I’m a liar.”

The arms around him grew tighter. “ . . . what?”