💿 ᴏɴᴄᴇ ᴜᴘᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇᴀʀʟʏ 2000ꜱ…
Trixie Taylor is asexual—she just doesn’t know that’s an option. So imagine her consternation, when the deadline for the virginity pact she made in eighth grade is now upon her. It’s her last high school party, and the entire graduating class has heard that Trixie’s ready to swipe her V-card tonight.
So. No time to panic.
Ready or not, she’s got someone in mind to help her…
Riot Shane is every bit the loser virgin his friends roast him for being, and way more than his rebel reputation suggests (things would be different if he’d get his GED and a haircut, but oh well). When incurable crush Trixie Taylor asks for his help, Riot finds himself playing fake boyfriend, real bodyguard, and the house party’s errand boy.
Welp. At least responsibility’s never looked as good as it does with his dream girl in the passenger seat.
Ready or not, the night’s only just begun…
ʜᴏᴡ ᴛᴏ ꜱᴜʀᴠɪᴠᴇ ᴀ ᴛᴇᴇɴ ꜱᴇx ᴄᴏᴍᴇᴅʏ : a millennial coming-of-age parody, is COMING SOON. follow the author for updates at these links!
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Random thought but the Ned’s Declassified podcast was something a lot of people were looking forward to but just ended up being terrible and cringe.
Imagine going on a podcast WITH YOUR EX and publicly talking about all of the most private, intimate, details of your personal sex lives with that person and also with other people, but in a way that DEFINITELY feels like you are still not over your ex that you are sitting next to for the entire internet to see FOREVER. And also awkwardly, publicly, interrogating your guests about their personal sex lives as well.
And then cookie is just there 🤷🏼♀️
All we wanted was “#adulting” tips 🙄 and a little clean nostalgia was that too much to ask?
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Just thinking about her (msn messenger)
And how each user had their own font and colour, such that it began to feel like your unique voice
And how everyone had custom emoticons that appeared when you typed random words, and you could make your own and collect those of others to form a unique little sticker book of gifs
And how she (WhatsApp, FB messenger, Signal, etc) is great and all, but look what we had. Look what we had
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the Breakers restaurant from Muriel’s Wedding (1994), directed by P.J. Hogan
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can we just arrange our converse-clad feet in the shape of a star again like it's 2008? 👉👈
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Anyone else remember this?
We talk about how og Watership Down & Plague Dogs & og Animal Farm were scarring films aimed towards kids. But I think a lot of people forget the scene where disabled sentient vehicles are sent down a conveyor belt to their on screen crushed death to a very catchy song about their lives.
I love this kind of dark & deep shit lmao
Edit:
ITS ON SPOTIFY
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LATE Gen Xer here (end of 79) so 80's Kid, 90's Teen... So yeah this tracks. Yep. In the 80's as a Kid I wondered why the Adults where Nostalgic for the 50's and 60's. By the mid 90's it made sense. And everyday after 2001.. Yeah
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Lip Smackers Cosmic Lips ♡
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