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mymoshangthoughts · 6 months ago

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i think i have the unpopular opinion that airplane is an egotist lol

i do enjoy reading fics where he's like "i dont deserve good things, this guy is way out of my league" and i do totally get where people are coming from when they characterize him that way but more and more lately im just like

"what about the comments?"

like i dont think that airplane has a SUPER high opinion of himself, but i think he's just kinda... confident? like when he reads fucking essays online about how his writing sucks he's able to laugh his ass off over it and even join in the fray. so i keep thinking rather than him being like "i dont deserve this nice thing", he'd more have a "SCORE! nice thing for me!! WHOO!" reaction. and when a bad thing happened, instead of being super "this is the saddest day of my life, someone was mean to me", he'd be more "omfg did you like fr waste your time being mean to me? thats actually pretty embarrassing for you lmfao, r u oki bro?"

like kinda that terminally online asshole internet troll of a person who just doesnt take shit seriously and has enough self esteem to just legitimately not give a fuck when someone is shitty

ofc it's different with demons who can literally skin him alive, theres a huge difference between someone saying "youre ugly" and someone breaking every bone in his body, so its not like he doesn't cower when necessary

but also inwardly he just has the confidence to not be effected much by cowering. like "lol imma hug this thigh bc i aint stupid but the fact that this asshole needs me to hug his thigh says a looottttt more about him than it says about me"

idk im just kinda wanting to see more unapologetically confident airplane who just does not give a fuck about anyones opinion so long as the opinion is coming from someone who cant actually fuck him over in a significant way. like sha hualing? obvs care about her opinion, she can gut him. some rando disciple? "lmfao out of my way loser, im gay"

also i kinda wanna see that confidence stripped away until he's a mewling mess but thats just my desire to break down confident characters and make them cry pfff

its so much funnier to me if airplane was actually a pretty impervious sort of person, it's only the extreme nature of his current situation that turned him into a crybaby lmfao

idk if im making sense, i just kinda think of airplane as being a hilarious mixture of "the most self assured guy you've ever met, to an obnoxious extent" and "wait does he have any self esteem at all?!? is he okay?!?" in a fun contradictory way, cuz thats the impression i got of him from canon

also modern au mobei jun getting Very upset bc it feels absolutely impossible to get under airplane's skin. like he's sitting here trying his best to get a reaction and airplane is just "lmfao yea but idgaf abt your opinion sooooooooo"

look, i also think it'd just be awesome if mobei jun is actually most attracted to the egotistical side of shang qinghua. like sure, he thinks that cowering sobbing pathetic hamster shang qinghua is delicious, but give him shang qinghua cackling arrogantly at his detractors with the air of an emperor? mobei jun might actually faint with desire

so like, mobei jun visiting an ding peak so much initially because shang qinghua is sus as fuck and all that jazz, but eventually he's sneaking in as often as possible so that he gets to peak that side of shang qinghua.

like he first notices it when shang qinghua is too absorbed in his paperwork to remember there's a demon lord casually napping on his bed and starts making fun of the lousy penmanship, his fellow disciples, other peak lords, no one is except from his sharp mocking tongue and laughing criticism. but he notices it more and more

someone comes to qinghua's door to throw their weight around? sure, qinghua acts all small and harmless with them there but when they leave, he's cackling about "annndd that pathetic loser thinks that no one knows abt his porn stache, pssshhh, get on my level pleb. especially with your frankly boring as fuck tastes" and qinghua has a dirty sense of humor too and it's sort of driving mobei jun insane

so maybe sometimes he shows up at the peak without announcing his presence, trying to peak what sort of shit that shang qinghua might say about him behind his back and mmaaaayyybbe mobei jun is a bit excited at the prospect and disappointed when it's difficult to hear his name on shang qinghua's tongue

until one glorious day when his timing is just right and shang qinghua is neck deep in the middle of northern desert paperwork and he lets loose and mobei jun isnt sure whats worse: the things that shang qinghua's biting insults are doing to him or how, in stark comparison to the way that shang qinghua insults to others, all of shang qinghua's insults are accompanied by dirty commentary about mobei jun's body and potential sexual prowess in a quite positive light. normally shang qinghua is all "lmfao mr. never-gonna-get-fucked qi-ge is gonna tell me what to do? tough shit my lil bitch, i might be your daddy but i know the full depth of malicious compliance! go back to your brat-kink with jiu-whatever. you might as well be dickless for all the success you've had, mr. virgin mcbitch" but with mobei jun it's a lot more like "oh so mr. sexier than the fucking literal god of this world could have imagined in his dirtiest dreams wants this paperwork by next week? unreasonable brat, so spoiled, i should spoil him, he'd look reeeeaallly hot when spoiled absolutely rotten beneath me hehehh wait above me? hm, anyway, he's being a little bitch but i'll forgive it for that face but also man i wanna just pinch those fucking cheeks sometimes and then--man i bet he'd be really fucking wild in the sack to and--"

absolutely charmed by the display, mobei jun immediately reveals himself and beats shang qinghua senseless as a very clear indication of his intentions. to his absolute dismay, he never hears shang qinghua insulting him again and he doubles the beatings in desperation to somehow get shang qinghua's attention

(shang qinghua does not, in fact, have any actual bad blood against his zhangmen-shixiong, he just has a bad habit of going for the throat when he's in the middle of a tirade bc he was once an internet troll who shamelessly thrived on the anonymity of being able to say anything to anyone. he just really likes to talk shit and if he was in a position of power, would absolutely abuse it to talk shit alllll the time lmfao)

anyway i got pretty off topic bUT MY POINT IS that shang qinghua is best (imho) when he is a shameless egotistical shit-talker who's more or less impervious to the criticism of others

((man just fucking IMAGINE mobei jun's reaction when the ascension ceremony happens? like he FINALLY gets shang qinghua to talk shit to his face no less and then IMMEDIATELY gets abandoned. and like, it was kinda Really Bad Timing and also mobei jun never really wanted to just be a passive participant! he wanted to retort back! he wanted a back and forth! he wanted to refute shang qinghua's claims that he was spoiled just as much as he wanted to hear those claims! he wants the push and pull!!!! SO WHY IS SHANG QINGHUA RUNNING AWAY THAT FUCKING TEASE?!?!))

also as a general note i do think that shang qinghua's whole impervious thing is prolly routed in a lot of the trauma of being unwanted by family and all of that stuff, there was no one around to build his ego up so he built it up all on his own and he's really fucking good at building things up

#moshang #shang qinghua #mobei jun

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sherewrytes · 7 months ago

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𝔹𝕣𝕠𝕜𝕖𝕟 ℙ𝕚𝕖𝕔𝕖𝕤, ℝ𝕪𝕠𝕞𝕖𝕟 𝕊𝕦𝕜𝕦𝕟𝕒 2

↳ Sukuna x f! black reader

Summary: After the death of his grandfather, Sukuna Ryomen is left to shoulder the weight of his family, caring for his younger brothers, Yuuji and Choso. As he withdraws into grief, his relationship with Y/N, his girlfriend of a year, begins to crumble. When Y/N discovers the truth about his grandfather’s passing during a heated argument, it leads to a painful breakup. Now, both are navigating life apart, but Sukuna’s heart aches for Y/N. Determined to win her back, he must confront his pain and find a way to break through the walls he’s built. Can he rekindle their love, or is it too late?

contents: heavy angst, modern au, 18+, smut, dark romance, drug use, talks of depression and similar topics. (a lil )

fic warnings. ooc, profanity, mental health issues, toxic relationships, cheating, explicit smut, serious drug use, mentions of depression + more to be updated as story progresses.

Please read with proper discretion. this is a work of fiction. all characters are written to portray roles that are necessary to the plot and are in no way a reflection of their canon counterparts.

Taglist: @for-hearthand-home @clp-84 @thelightknight21

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Songs for this chapter:

Hurt Nine-inch Nails

Tear you Apart She wants Revenge

Chapter Playlist

Masterlist

Chapter 2: Beneath the Ashes

Arriving at Y/N’s place, I park and take a moment to steady my racing heart. I can already see her silhouette through the window, pacing back and forth. Taking a deep breath, I step out of the car, determination mixed with dread coursing through me.

As I knock on the door, it swings open almost instantly, revealing Y/N’s fiery gaze. “You actually showed up,” she says, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

“Yeah, well, I didn’t think you’d actually end shit,” I reply, trying to keep my tone light, but it comes out more defensive than I intended.

She steps aside, letting me in, and the tension in the room is palpable. “What did you expect? You’ve been ignoring me for weeks! You think I’d just wait around forever?”

I clench my fists, my patience wearing thin. “I’m dealing with a lot right now, Y/N. You can’t just act like I’m the bad guy for trying to handle my shit!”

“Handle it? Is that what you call shutting me out? Not even telling me your grandfather passed? What the hell is wrong with you?” she snaps, her voice rising.

“I didn’t want to burden you with this!” I shout back, the frustration bubbling over. “I thought you’d understand!”

“Understand what? That you’re pushing me away while I’m trying to be here for you?” She steps closer, her anger radiating off her like heat waves.

“Y/N, stop,” I warn, trying to keep the situation from escalating further, but she doesn’t back down.

“I won’t! You think I’m just going to sit here and let you treat me like I’m nothing?” she yells, shoving me back, her hands pressing against my chest.

I pause, staring at her in disbelief. “I dare you to put your fucking hands on me again, Y/N,” I challenge, my voice low and dangerous.

She steps into my space, glaring up at me, unyielding. “You think I’m afraid of you?”

In a split second, the anger surges, and I grab her shirt, pulling her closer. “You think I’m fucking around, Y/N? I told you from the jump: I don’t play that ‘putting hands on each other’ shit.”

What the actual fuck am I doing

Every time she tries to pull away, my grip tightens, the fire between us flaring. “I hate you,” she spits, the venom in her words cutting through me.

My heart sinks, the words landing like a punch to my gut. “You don’t mean that,” I reply, my voice a mixture of anger and hurt.

She hates me..Well I hate me even more.

“Don’t I?” she counters, her eyes blazing with defiance. “Because right now, I can’t stand you!”

Join the fucking club yn.

The thought cuts deeper than I care to admit, but I can’t back down now. “You think this is easy for me? Losing my grandfather? It’s tearing me apart, and all I’m asking for is a little understanding!”

Her expression falters for just a moment, and I can see the conflict in her eyes, but then it hardens again. “Understanding? You think I can just overlook you shutting me out? You think I’m just supposed to be okay with that?”

No, I just wanted you to be patient with me. Why Can’t I just say that

“You want to throw everything away because I’ve been dealing with my shit?” I can feel the desperation creeping into my voice. “You think that makes it any easier for me?”

She stares at me, breathing heavily, the anger shifting into something more complicated. But the moment hangs thick with unspoken words, and I can feel the walls between us closing in tighter.

“I don’t know, Sukuna. Maybe it’s too late for us,” she finally says, her voice quieter now but still firm.

I swallow hard, the weight of her words settling heavily in the pit of my stomach. “No,” I whisper, desperate. “It can’t be too late. Not for us.”

She scoffed while walking away from me. I found myself suddenly following Y/N through her apartment, desperation propelling me forward.

This can’t be happening. Not now. Please, Y/N, just hear me out.

"You don't fucking get it," I growl, frustration bubbling beneath the surface.

"Explain it then," she snaps back, her voice watery, barely holding back tears.

Fuck... she’s crying... She’s crying again... I can’t... Oh god... I can’t fucking do this.

My chest tightens,

The sight of her in pain tearing at something deep inside me.

“Please just stay and explain it to me,” she pleads, her eyes searching mine for something—understanding, reassurance, anything.

You want me to explain it? To tell you how much it hurts? To tell you that you’re breaking me into a million pieces and don’t even know it? How will that help anything? It won’t make you want me back. It won’t take back the way I’ve been acting or our fights. All I’m doing is hurting you.

“It’s not your fault, okay?” I say softly, trying to keep my voice steady. “I know that. It just... it’s a lot.” My heart feels like it’s being squeezed in a vice, emotions crashing over me like waves.

Y/N cuts me off before I can say more. “I’m not doing this anymore, Sukuna.” Her words slice through the air, final and resolute.

Not doing this anymore.

The phrase echoes in my mind like a death knell. My stomach drops, a heavy weight settling on my chest.

“What do you mean?” I ask, the words tumbling out in a rush. “You can’t just—”

“I can and I will,” she interrupts, her voice rising. “You’ve shut me out for so long. I can’t keep waiting for you to pull your head out of your ass and realize what you’re doing to us!”

But I don’t want to lose you!

“I’ve been trying to be there for you, but you keep pushing me away!” she continues, her frustration boiling over. “I’m tired of feeling like I’m not important enough to you, like you’re too busy drowning in your own problems to even see me!”

“I’m not drowning, Y/N!” I shout, the rawness of my voice shocking even me. “I’m trying to stay afloat! You think this is easy for me? I’m lost without you, but I thought I was protecting you by keeping my distance.”

Her gaze hardens, and for a moment, I see the glimmer of hope flicker in her eyes, then dim. “Protecting me? By shutting me out? By pretending like everything is fine when it’s not?”

I didn’t want to burden you…

“I thought you were stronger than this, Sukuna,” she says, her voice breaking. “But instead, you’re just hurting yourself and pushing me away.”

God, it hurts.

“I’m scared,” I admit, my voice dropping to a whisper. “I’m scared of what losing you really means. I don’t know how to handle all this, and I thought… I thought maybe I could do it on my own.”

Her expression softens for a fleeting moment, but then it hardens again. “But you can’t. You can’t do it alone. You need to let me in.”

“I know,” I reply, my heart pounding in my chest. “But I don’t know how. I don’t know how to explain any of this without breaking us completely.”

“Then don’t,” she whispers, her voice trembling. “Just be honest. Just... talk to me.”

I want to. I want to tell you everything, but what if it’s too late?

“Please, Y/N,” I plead, stepping closer, desperation coating my words. “I need you to stay. I can’t do this without you.”

She shakes her head, tears spilling down her cheeks. “I don’t know if I can do this anymore, Sukuna. I need someone who will be there for me, not someone who keeps shutting me out.”

And I don’t want to be that person.

“I’m trying, I swear I am,” I say, my voice cracking under the weight of my emotions. “But I’m so damn scared of losing you.”

“I’m scared too,” she replies, her voice small. “But I can’t keep doing this alone.”

In that moment, the distance between us feels insurmountable. I can see the pain in her eyes, the hope slipping away like sand through my fingers. “Y/N, please…”

But she’s already stepping back, shaking her head slowly. “I can’t, Sukuna. Not like this.”

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck…shit…this can’t be happening….why does my head fucking hurt

I know pushing further like this won't help, but I'm desperate. I know I’m being toxic, clinging onto her like this when she’s clearly done, but I don’t care. I could almost hear Jin laughing at me now.

The great heartless Sukuna, broken up over a girl. Who would’ve thought?

I follow her to her room, watching her collapse onto her bed, her body language screaming exhaustion. She grabs her iPad and starts scrolling on Tumblr, shutting me out. Ignoring me completely.

I sit down beside her, close enough to feel the warmth radiating off her, trying to close the distance any way I can. "Y/N," I start, my voice coming out soft, barely a murmur, but she doesn’t respond. She keeps scrolling, her face set in an emotionless mask. I can feel her slipping further and further away.

"Get out, Sukuna," she says, her voice steady but hollow. No anger, no frustration. Just...tired.

But I don’t move. I can’t. My pride might be screaming at me to just walk out, to keep whatever scrap of dignity I have left, but my heart? My heart is keeping me glued here, next to her, silently begging her to look at me.

I reach over and try to take the iPad from her hands, but she quickly turns away, hugging it to her chest. I don’t care how it looks; I lay down beside her, scooting closer, feeling the tension in her shoulders, her back rigid with resentment or maybe…exhaustion.

I fucking missed this...I love her so much. When was the last time I told her I loved her?

I swallow, nerves clawing at my throat. "I love you, Y/N," I whisper, the words tasting like desperation, slipping out before I can stop them.

The silence is deafening, thick and suffocating. Then, a sniffle.

"Don’t say things you don’t mean, Sukuna," she murmurs, her voice breaking, barely holding back tears.

I'm fucking this up. I’m losing her. God, someone, help me not fuck this up further.

She turns towards me, finally, her brown eyes—the ones I’ve grown to love, that used to sparkle every time I made her laugh—now red and puffy, burdened with the pain that I caused.

Without thinking, I lean in and kiss her, gentle at first, then desperate, pouring every unspoken apology, every ounce of regret and love into it. I pull her close, my arms wrapping around her tightly, as if I could keep her from slipping through my fingers any further.

Her body tenses, and for a second, I think she’ll push me away, but she doesn’t. Instead, she clings to me, her fingers tangling into my shirt, pulling me closer. The room is quiet, save for our shaky breaths, the sound of our hearts pounding against each other’s chests.

Please don’t leave me. Please, Y/N. Just stay. Just a little longer. I’ll be better; I swear I will.

Y/N’s lips pull away from mine, and she stares up at me, her eyes searching, conflicted. I feel my heart thundering in my chest, every beat a reminder of how badly I want her, need her right now.

"You taste like cigarette smoke, Kuna," she murmurs, her voice a little unsteady. I can’t help but chuckle, sliding my hands slowly up her sides until one rests gently on her cheek, brushing a thumb over her skin.

"Yeah, sorry about that," I say, my voice low, tinged with a hint of guilt, but I can’t seem to let her go. My need to be close to her, to feel her warmth, is overwhelming everything else right now.

She bites her lip, glancing away, the hesitation clear on her face. But my fingers trace the line of her jaw, gently guiding her face back toward mine. "I need you," I say softly, my voice raw with longing. My hand cups her face as I lean down, pressing my lips against the curve of her neck, then biting my way down, savoring the way her breath catches each time my teeth graze her skin.

"Please, baby," I whisper against her neck, my voice almost pleading, "I need you so fucking bad."

She lets out a shaky sigh, her fingers curling into my shirt. "Kuna, we shouldn’t," she whispers, her words barely audible, as if she’s trying to convince herself as much as me.

I know I shouldn’t be doing this; part of me is painfully aware of how wrong it is to mess with her mind like this, to sleep with her when we’re both standing on shaky ground, barely able to hold each other up. But the ache in my chest, the hollow feeling I’ve been trying to drown in anything but my own thoughts, is too much to bear alone tonight.

"Just... let me forget for a little while," I murmur, my hands sliding down her sides, tracing every curve.

I pull her shirt over her head and slowly kiss my way up her body until I'm staring into her eyes.

"You... you look......... like you want......." she pants. "Like you want to eat me."

Cause I fucking do. God…

"I have never... wanted anyone... more than I want you, right now," I whisper, my lips brushing against her ear. It feels intimate as I press my body against hers and then roll my stomach in a slow grind that almost feels like I'm fucking her. I do it twice more, hissing as she shivers with pleasure.

The whimpers. Fuck me... The whimpers. Fuck I forgot how she sounds. It’s been a month.

I kissed my way down her body this time, taking one of my hands to firmly grip her jaw to keep her focused on me “Eyes on me princess.”

I realize her jaw once I’m sure she focuses on me. I slipped her shorts off, revealing her soaked cunt.

I spread her legs open, while I slid lower down the bed. I push her legs back “Hold these and you better not drop them, pretty girl.” I slide my tongue from her clit to her close, slowly then around her inner lips. I swirl my wet tongue around her clit

ONCE! TWICE! THRICE!

"Fuck daddyyy-"! I hear her say. I smile a bit going a bit lower to her hole, I spit, almost drool onto her pussy and slurp up her juices. I feel her wetting my face more. I slip a finger in then another.

“Kuna, please…please fuck me” she whined, begged.

Fuck she’s…I forgot how sweet her taste is. How sweet she sounds.

“ FUCK... keep doing THAT... I love the way you beg. Love the way you say my name.”

I slowly suck my way back up to her clit once more, dropping a quick nibble on it causing her to pull away from me. I wrap my arms around her hips and pull her back down and keep my grip on her.

“Come on yn. Don’t run from it. I don’t play that.”

I continue sucking on her clit. I add in one finger then another. I listen to her moans echo through her bedroom. Her pleas in my ears for more…

Or is it to slow down? Fuck either way, the way she sounds is gonna make me bust.

I thrust my fingers in and out faster, the way her my pussy is wet and the squelching sounds it’s making. I stop for a moment staring at her pussy saying “talk to me some more.”

I feel yn’s body get tense under me. That doesn’t stop me. I suck on her clit harder. I arch my fingers upwards grazing her g spot.

“Su….kuna please please please…ouu fuck..right there…please!”

I slow down causing yn to practically scream at me. “Sorry princess” i smirked

I picked up the speed again this time switching to tongue fuck her while i play with her clit.

Yn’s moans grew louder, while she grew wetter. Her back arched off the bed, well she attempted to but he pulled her back in, almost stifling me completely.

I feel her tightened around my tongue then I feel her all over my face. I smiled but I didn’t stop. I kept at it like a crack addict. Switching my mouth and fingers between her clit and her hole. She was fighting and twitching under me.

“Too much Kuna…please…you’re too much”

“Daddy please…Oh fuck! I can’t”

“Mmm gonna cum again..please…”

“Fuck mm coming…Kuna. Sukuna! Shiitt! Oh God.”

I release her legs to strip off my clothes. I watch her stretch her hand and stroke my dick.

I'm hopeless for her. Fuck! I hope she doesn’t replace me in her life

"God, I fucking love you," I groan, finally thrusting into her slick cunt, feeling it envelop me. Her cunt grip my dick and her legs are already shaking.

"Please," she gasps, biting her lip as she meets me thrust for thrust.

I swear to god, I could fuck you to death right now... Never been so fucking horny.

I grab her hips to stop her from taking over. “Just let me put in the work princess”

I pushed myself inside her again, going all the way to the hilt—

My voice thick with desire, I confess my innermost desires, "I need you. I've always needed you, even when I pushed you away."

I slid my hand up her body grabbing her throat, watching the lust and fucked out state all over her face. I watch her smile at me with that devious look in her eyes. The look I’ve missed in so long.

Her pussy is gonna be the death of me..Or is it her love. Maybe both

I release her throat, sliding my hands down her chest pulling on her nipples one by one, I slowly drag my hand lower, and lower until it’s on her stomach. I push down on it and angle my body slightly off to the side, picking up the pace more.

Thwop Thwop Thwop! The sounds of her skin against mine, mine against hers became louder. “Kuna! Oh…fuck me please…harder!” Y’n is grinding up against her harder than before.

This is fucking with my head.

"Please... don't... you're breaking me, Yn….fuck!” "I love you. Please..." my frenzied thrusts, driven by madness…maybe lust…or loss…

Fuck I need a smoke right now.

My eyes were scanning her room trying to distract myself.

“Top draw on your left” yn moaned

“Huh..Fuck baby you’re killing me here..ss..wet and tight.” I groaned out.

“You…fuck!...cigarettes top draw Kuna.”

Am I that obvious..Jesus

I pulled out reach for the top draw and fished around, saw a pre rolled joint sitting in the ashtray and decided to take that instead. I quickly lit it up and took a deep drag exhaling then another. I leaned down to yn’s face talking slowly. “I need you yn…fuck. I really do.”

I flipped her over onto her stomach and arched her back nic for me. I took another hit feeling the thc slowly running through my veins. I eased inside her again

I’m slower this time around, “Throw it back on me baby. Take what’s yours. It’s your dick. You know that” I pull her hips back against her everytime she throws it back on me.

“Oh my FUCKING god,” she cries out, her mouth hanging open as it hits her, rolling her under a wave of pleasure so pure and perfect, even I can feel it. Her body jerks, pussy spasming around my dick.

“Not done with your ass yet yn.” I wrap my hands around her hair and turn her face to the side, then press my body against her back pushing her into the prone bone/ collapsed doggy position. I take another pull of the joint before down and kiss her slowly exhaling all the smoke into her mouth.

“Take me baby.” pulls out “I know I’ve been stupid these past weeks. Maybe even more” Thrusts in “I love you yn. Please baby. Anything but this.” pulls out “I love you, you matter to me”

"I've been a fucking mess, Yn. Trying to protect you, trying to be the man you deserve. But I've been failing at both."

I should shut up. Not say these things. I’ll make it worse

As I continue to move within her, my voice takes on a desperate tone. "I know I'm not good enough for you, but I can't bear the thought of losing you. You're mine, Yn. And I'll do whatever it takes to keep you by my side. but you deserve so much better than me."

"My feelings are so twisted up,"

Leaning down, I whisper into her ear, "Why do you want to leave me, Yn? Why end it like this?" I murmur, pulling out briefly before thrusting back in. My words, a mix of desperation and possessiveness.

“Cause..Fuck- fuck fuck fuck s’too deep- hngh”

“Nah, ss not deep enough…I know you can handle more.” I sit back on the bed in a kneeling position pulling her hips with me Smack! I grip her ass in my palm, spreading it apart to spit on her cunt from the back.

I push her head down into the mattress and rut into her.

Mine... You're mine, princess... Every time you move, I want you to feel it. To ache with it. To be reminded that you fucking belong to me…

I flip her back over onto her back wanting to stare into her warm brown eyes. I push my fingers into her mouth. The ones I had inside her, coated with the evidence of her desire. I grab the headboard to give myself more leverage.

Bed squeaking

Sounds of skin slapping, unsticking and slapping against skin

Smell of weed and sex in the air

It’s enough to almost put me over the edge. ALMOST!

Fuck baby... I'm gonna cum...she groans

Her body clenches around me, and that's all it takes.

"Oh god, oh god, oh GOD," she cries out.

"Yes,.. fuck yes...," I groan.

"Oh my gawwwwwd..." i feel her buck under me, trying to pull away from me, I pull her back down to me again

So close, baby... I'm so fucking close...

"So good... So fucking good...," I growl.

“Just take it..... Please, fucking take it.” I feel tighten around me, Her body clenches around me, and that's all it takes to push me over the edge

“I know love, I know. I’m almost there.” I groan, pulling back and thrusting again each thruster harder and deeper than the last.

There's nothing better than this... Nothing...

My eyes close and I pull back a little, thrusting one, final, time.

I watch Y/N slowly drift off beside me, her breaths steady, her face softened, and for a second, I reach out, wanting to pull her close again. But she shifts, pulling away from me.

Y/N… please. Don’t do this now.

“Y/N,” I say, my voice low, barely holding steady.

Her eyes flick open, tired and worn. "Sukuna," she says softly, like she's already miles away. "Your stuff is in the living room. Please take it... and leave."

I feel something shatter inside me, something small but crucial, and I can barely keep my voice from breaking. "Y/N, ple—"

“Just get out!” Her voice is sharp, cutting through the quiet. I freeze, the final crack resounding through whatever was left of my heart.

They say bad things come in threes… or was it good things? Right now, I can’t remember anymore.

"Okay," I whisper, barely getting the word out. That's all I can manage.

I get up, get dressed, and head to the door where she left my stuff. I pick up the boxes and take one last look around her apartment. And then I walk out, closing the door softly behind me, knowing damn well there’s no coming back from this.

Down the hallway, down the stairs, step by step until I reach my car. I toss the boxes into the back seat, close the door, and finally slump into the driver’s seat. I don’t even reach for the keys—I just sit there, the weight of it all pressing down until I feel my lungs start to tighten, my hands starting to shake.

No, not now. Not here.

I close my eyes, hoping to calm myself down before the panic sets in, but it’s useless. My heart races, breaths coming short, shallow. I try to breathe slowly, but my chest feels tight, like it’s caving in on itself.

I sit there, arms wrapped around myself, as memories crash through my mind like a brutal tide—Jin’s smirk, my grandfather’s steady hands, Y/N’s quiet smile in the morning sunlight. I feel like I’m drowning in them, pulled under one after another, unable to surface.

This isn’t how it was supposed to go. How did I fuck it up this badly?

But no answer comes, just the silence and the dark, swallowing me whole.

The quiet stretches around me, wrapping me in a thick fog of despair. I try to steady my breathing, gripping the steering wheel so hard my knuckles ache, but nothing seems to break the emptiness that has seeped into my bones. I sit there, feeling my pulse hammering in my ears, my head swimming with fragments of memories—Jin laughing at some joke he’d cracked, Grandpa teaching me how to tie a tie, Y/N looking up at me that first night we met, her eyes bright with mischief and something I’d been too damn scared to name.

How did I get here? How did I end up so alone?

The night stretches on, thick with silence, and I feel like I’m suffocating under the weight of everything I’ve lost. I take a breath, forcing myself to stay grounded, to push back the panic clawing its way up my throat.

I reach for my phone, my fingers trembling as I open my contacts and scroll to her name. I stare at it, the screen glowing in the dark, my thumb hovering over the call button. Part of me wants to reach out, to hear her voice just one more time, but I know it’ll only make things worse. She doesn’t want to hear from me—not after tonight. Not after everything I’ve done.

Let her go, Sukuna. Just… let her go.

I toss the phone onto the passenger seat and close my eyes, pressing my forehead against the steering wheel. The emptiness is overwhelming, the silence heavy, and I can feel the despair sinking its claws into me, dragging me under.

They’re all gone now. Jin, Grandpa… Y/N. What am I even fighting for anymore?

I take a shuddering breath, feeling the pain sear through me, raw and unfiltered. I sit there for what feels like hours, lost in the darkness, my mind spinning as I grapple with the realization that I’ve driven away everyone I’ve ever cared about. The regret is a bitter taste in my mouth, choking me.

Eventually, I manage to start the car, the engine rumbling to life, but the sound feels hollow, distant. I grip the wheel and pull out of the parking spot, driving aimlessly through the empty streets, my thoughts drifting as I try to numb the ache gnawing at me from the inside out.

Streetlights blur past, the city stretching out in a maze of empty roads and darkened windows, and for the first time, I realize how truly alone I am.

This is it,

I think bitterly.

This is what’s left. Just me… and a hollow, empty shell of everything I thought I had.

As I drive, the memories claw at me, and I let them, sinking into the pain, embracing it. Maybe, if I let myself feel it now, I’ll finally be able to let it all go.

#jjk x black reader #sukuna x black reader #sukuna angst #sukuna x female reader #sukuna smut #sukuna #jjk x reader #jjk x you #sukuna x reader #ryomen sukuna #black tumblr #black reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen #sukuna x black fem reader

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katygorl · 1 month ago

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💙📚 Edwin Outfits: Modern 📚💙

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Hello DBDA fandom! I am so sorry for the wait on the rest of the detectives' outfits, I've been a mixture of pretty busy irl + uninspired as I did not get many concrete ideas for any of them till recently. But, the most recent rewatch I did of the series did help me with jotting down notes of their fashion, plus looking at some other fanart, fashion notes for the characters, and the actors' fashion themselves did help me a lot with forming my own ideas!

As won this poll I posted a few months back, Edwin is first up for me to design for! Like I did for Niko, I will be designing three outfits for everyone. For Edwin's first outfit here, I wanted to do a sort of modern-ish take on his canon style. Since the ghosts have been shown to wear different outfits, or at the least, different outfit variations, then I could see this kind of style being something Edwin starts wearing the more he gets comfortable in modern times(or, you can take this as something he would wear in an AU). Edwin to me gives off preppy, dark academia vibes, so I hope I was able to convey that here. For some specifics, I wanted to give him a sweater, keep the long coat plus patterned pants he already wears(though make it different of course), his own bag, a blue skull keychain for his bag(to represent his promotional poster, plus you could consider it a gift from Niko), and give him a necklace, because I also wanted him to become comfortable wearing jewelry on his own accord after the Cat King bracelet situation.

I hope you enjoy!

#dead boy detectives #dead boy detective agency #dead boy detectives netflix #edwin payne #fashion

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lokisprettygirl · 1 year ago

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Rain to his Fire (Modern! Daemon Targaryen x Female Reader) (Non Canon 80s Au) (18+)

Read chapter 9 here // Series Masterlist

Chapter 10

Summary: Misspoken words cause a rift between you and Daemon.

Warning: 18+, smut, crude language, description of Statutory rape, discussion of mental health (it's a fic based in a mental health facility), mention of child molestation, mention of physical assault, the fic would contain several mentions of several disorders like mpd, did etc, if something triggers you don't read, smoking,

Daemon's first instinct was to close the door in her face and then gaslight her tomorrow into thinking that she must have been hallucinating due to the lack of sex in her life since she was a nympho but the look on her face made him believe that the trick won't really work on her.

“Oh my god what are you?” She asked, slightly scared and yet intrigued. As she invited herself in, Daemon growled, closing the door behind him before anyone else would see him.

“I told you,” Daemon responded with a deep, inhuman voice, which was slightly different from his usual tone. As a half dragon, he was not accustomed to hearing himself speak in this form.

“But how?“ she asked as she made her way towards him. She reached out to touch his feathery wings, which draped around his back and ends of which dragged across the ground “It's impossible.”

“Apparently it's not..look if you go around telling other people about this I won't hesitate to kill you” He looked at her with an intense stare, warning her to not tell anyone about what she had seen.

“Mmmhm really? Is that a warning?” she responded, sarcasm evident in her tone so he let out a low growl.

“It's not a warning, it's a threat” he snarled at her.

“Wow you just became ten times hotter than you already were” she giggled as she stepped closer to him to study his features.

Daemon's appearance was intimidating, to say the least. His eyes glowed a deep shade of blood red with vivid green irises. He was covered in scales that ran from the sides of face to the rest of his body in elegant patterns. His hair was long and reached his waist, and his sharp fingernails resembled knives. His ears, like those of an elf, were elongated and most of all his wings were a stunning display of silver feathers on top with dark brown and black underneath, as if they were a masterpiece of nature itself.

Daemon was a sight to behold. A creature from myth and legend that wasn't supposed to exist but somehow he did.

“Why aren't you scared?” He asked as he crossed his arms and fluffed his feathers, a few were knocked loose and fell softly to the ground. His eyes were fixed intently on her, waiting for her answer.

“I just want to fuck you right now” she mumbled as she eyed him from head to toe, looking at him with a mixture of awe and disbelief. He reminded her of those mythical creatures she used to read about as a child and she couldn't deny that she was hooked to his otherworldly side.

****

The next morning you were on the way to the supplies room when you bumped into the librarian Corlys.

“Hey y/n..good morning” He told you so you gave him a small smile. You noticed that he was holding a book in his hands.

“Good morning..nice to see that you do get out of the library” he chuckled as you said that but then the look on his face became serious.

“The feather you showed me that day..did you find the species it belonged to?” He asked you so you shook your head almost immediately. You had found something but you couldn't really tell him for two different reasons, first one being that you didn't want to hurt Daemon and secondly, you didn't want to get institutionalized.

“I found this book and I think you should read it” he said as he passed you the book he had in his hands.

You grabbed the book that seemed really old and heavy, it was dusty as well as if it had been sitting on the shelves and hadn't been touched by anyone in ages.

“Creatures amongst us” you read the title of the book and looked up at him, he seemed nervous and kind of terrified.

“Turn to page 35” he told you so obliged.

“History of Draco sapiens” your breath was taken away at the sight of the photo illustration on the opposite page. In the painting, a man with sharp ears and long hair was depicted, and he had a pair of large, shimmering wings on his back. The feathers he possessed bore a striking semblance to the ones you had shown Corlys at the library

“Looks familiar?” he asked you so you chuckled nervously and nodded .

“But it's just mythology isn't it.. folklore” you said to him so sighed.

As you turned the page there was a drawing of a baby. The infant's skin appeared to have a slight sheen, similar to scales. Its eyes appeared darker, and its ears looked pointed and slightly elongated. The drawing was both unsettling and intriguing.

“It's just weird to me, we have this man in the center who claims to be a dragon and-” Corlys spoke but you interrupted him.

“It can't be real.. Daemon is just a man”

“How do you know that?”

“I don't..I just .it can't be real” you lied to him so he sighed. Nonetheless, you returned the book to Corlys with a grateful smile and wished him a good day.

You knew you had to inform Daemon about the book and perhaps he'd be able to find some answers in there. As you wheeled your cart inside his room, it was a complete mess, hair and feathers all around, Daemon was on his bed, sleeping still, his ass naked and visible to you so you grabbed the duvet and covered him up. The commotion disturbed his sleep so he opened his eyes and rubbed it with his fingers to look at you.

“What happened here last night?” You asked him softly so he sighed as he remembered everything.

“Caroline came by, she saw me”

“What do you mean?” you asked, surprised by what he was telling you.

“She saw me as a dragon” your eyes widened so much so that he was afraid you'd blow them out of your sockets.

“What?”

“I was amidst the transformation and I heard the knock on the door and I thought it was you but it was her and she saw me” he sat up on the bed, staring ahead blankly as he relived the events of the previous night.

“Ummm what did umm what did she say ..how did she react?” You asked, your voice shaking with anticipation.

“She was.. in shock but..she wasn't scared” he answered nonchalantly.

“Mmmhm and then what happened?” You asked him, your heartbeat faster, he wasn't your boyfriend or that's what you thought, none of you had given a name to this thing between you two so you feared that he must have done something with her.

“Well we talked, she's not as vapid as she seems, kind of took me by surprise if I'm being honest” you gulped as he said that.

“Mmhm so what ..like.. you guys are friends now?” You asked as you crossed your arms, jealousy evident in your voice and he could smell it even though you had tried to keep your voice steady despite the anger and insecurity burning inside of you.

“I mean I had to make sure she won't go around speaking of this” he told you.

“You go around telling everyone who you are,” you retorted, frustration evident in your voice. You knew he wanted to keep his secret safe but Caroline getting to see him like that even before you had left a bad taste in your mouth.

“Yeah but they don't believe me, I'm crazy remember?”

“Well she's not exactly well” you said to him.

“Sex addiction is not the same as other mental ailments” you stifled the urge to roll your eyes as he suddenly got so defensive of her.

“Ohhhh sorry I offended your new friend” you walked back to your cart so he chuckled and sat up a little to lean his head against the headboard.

“You don't have to be jealous darling” he said, and you could feel the smugness dripping in his voice. You swallowed the lump in your throat, trying not to show how hurt you were feeling.

“What makes you think I'd be jealous?”

“The way you're acting”

“I'm not acting any differently than I usually do..besides you're not my boyfriend or anything like that..we are not exclusive or even together for that matter” you answered and you could see the smirk disappearing from his face. Your words had come out more harshly than you had intended.

He was just messing with you and being playful, he had no idea how upset you were about this.

“Fine then..” he mumbled quietly.

“Yeah fine”

“Is this going to be a thing with you always, hmm? We sex each other up and the next morning you're going to pick a fight with me?” Daemon asked, and you could hear the frustration in his voice.

“Pick a fight?” You chuckled bitterly “I'm talking to you in a normal tone, I'm not the one to accidentally show my supposed dragon side to other people, you did and it seems to me that you're not even as worried about it as you should be” you finished your words, the term dragon came out as a sneer and that only upsetted him further.

“I'm not worried because I trust her” your eyes teared up as he said that.

“Just like that? In one night?”

“Yeah I can sense these things like I did with you..” he concluded, trying to diffuse the tension but it was futile.

“Uhhhuh? And you couldn't tell that it wasn't me outside your door?”

“My senses are weakened when I'm changing..trust me when I say this, i really wanted it to be you” he emphasized each and every word but in that moment you just felt blinded by the rage you were feeling.

“If you really wanted it you'd have shown me”

His eyes teared up as you said that but he smiled instead and shook his head in disbelief.

“Well at least she's yet to go behind my back and tell Viserys about my hair and feathers”

He said before he got up and stepped inside the bathroom, you flinched as he slammed the door so harshly that there were few cracks at the edges now.

You couldn't believe he had thrown that into your face, instead of apologizing to him and mending the situation you cleaned his room as quickly as you could. A part of you wanted to knock on the door and ask if he was alright but your ego held you back.

After stepping out of his room you knocked on Caroline's door and she asked you to get in so you entered inside, she was on her bed still, sleeping naked.

Well they certainly had things in common it seems.

“Good morning…what's your name?” She asked as she sat up, extremely confident in her nakedness so you sighed.

“Y/n” you answered curtly, not wanting to get into a conversation with her.

“Y/n..what's my neighbor like? I mean you clean his room everyday” she prodded, making you shrug your shoulders.

“I wouldn't know..my job is to clean and get out” She hummed as you answered her “Why did you ask?’ you questioned as curiosity got the best of you.

“I think i have a crush on him” You felt your heart sink as Caroline admitted

“Yeah, so do other women around your age here” you answered, trying to keep your voice snarky.

“Mmm but they haven't seen him the way i have” she looked in the distance as she said that, clearly reminiscing what she had seen last night.

“Like what?”

“Nevermind girlie..what about you?”

“What do you mean?” .

“Do you have a crush on him as well?” She smirked so you rolled your eyes.

“I don't get involved with patients”

You were hoping she'd spill the beans about him so you could go back to Daemon and throw it in his face but then you realized how bitchy it might have been. As much as you despised this development between him and Caroline, you didn't want his secret to be out in the open or have any harm come his way.

During lunchtime much to your displeasure you found Daemon in his usual spot in the corner but now Caroline was accompanying him. You always told him to not stare at you in the cafeteria so why did it hurt so bad when for once since he had arrived here he didn't have his eyes on you?. His attention was directed towards Caroline and whatever conversation they were having with each other.

At the end of the service as you walked towards his table he finally looked at you, you could feel his gaze from your peripheral vision and Caroline's eyes were stuck on him, and you knew that because you had your eyes on Caroline.

“Are you folks done with your meal?” You asked so she looked at you but didn't answer so you grabbed both of their plates and placed it on the tray.

“You know if you have no intention of eating you shouldn't take so much food just to waste it” you told her as you walked away so Daemon raised his brows, amusement visible on his face. Caroline couldn't help but gasp at the rude remark.

“Can you believe it?” She asked Daemon as you disappeared out of their sight.

“Oh I definitely can”

“She's just a glorified maid she should mind her words” his jaw clenched as Caroline said that.

“She's doing her job”

Caroline raised her brows as Daemon defended you.

A minute later, he watched as you left the cafeteria, a mix of emotions running through him. He wanted to follow after you, pull you aside and hold you in his arms to kiss you, he wanted to ask why you were behaving this way, but his ego got in the way.

He can't be the one to follow after you all the time.

You sat down in the garden with a sad looking sandwich in your hands but your appetite was gone, perhaps you'd find Daemon in your bedroom again this evening and maybe then you could tell him that you were indeed jealous that she got to see that part of him you have only heard of since he got here.

But when you finished your shift and arrived in your room, you were crushed to discover that Daemon wasn't there. Instead, the room was empty, and you felt a sense of despair wash over you. As you laid down in the bed, the weight of the day's events finally overwhelmed you, and you found yourself crying. Images of Daemon fucking Caroline and losing interest in you plagued your thoughts.

This is what you had been avoiding all your life, such intense attachment to a man, it's not that you hadn't tried to date before, though there was no sexual attraction on your behalf you did get attached to those men emotionally and it hurt when they eventually betrayed you for not giving them what they wanted from you so you stayed single and didn't get yourself involved with a man until Daemon arrived and made you feel things you never thought was possible for you. And now he had found someone else so of course he had no use of you anymore.

That night as Daemon heard a knock on his door, this time he knew it wasn't you even though he wanted it to be you so badly.

“You look normal today” Caroline said to him so he sighed.

“It doesn't happen every night” he answered her so she smirked and sat down on his bed with her legs crossed,

“Come sit here” she tapped the side of the bed so he crossed his arms.

“Quit seducing me” he answered with a snark dripping through his words.

“I'm not seducing you. Are you feeling seduced?” she asked as she bit on her lips and tilted her head.

“Aren't you prohibited from doing this nympho?”

Her smile dropped down as he said that and eyes teared up so she got up and walked past him but he grabbed her arm.

“Sorry, I was joking”

He told her so she turned around and suddenly wrapped her arms around his neck.

“Today was my first session with Dr. Vis..i don't like him” she said to him so he chuckled as he grabbed her forearms and pulled her away from him, a part of him felt as if he was betraying you somehow even though your thing with him wasn't really exclusive as you had so proudly stated this morning.

“Neither do i..What did he do?” he asked curiously. Ever since he had connected the dots between him and Tanya and had discovered that other thing, a part of him wondered what other skeletons his brother was hiding in his closet.

“I don't know..he was just being weird”

The next morning as you began your duty you were hoping to find Daemon's naked form in his bed but you found Caroline sleeping in his bed instead, though she was fully clothed you had a feeling that something must have gone down between them.

“Ooops ..don't tell anyone” she mumbled as she stretched her arms, you could hear the shower running and Daemon was in there so you went on to quickly do your job because you couldn't stand the thought of looking at him in the moment. You couldn't help but feel betrayed as if your time with him had meant nothing to him.

After a few minutes Caroline eventually got up and left for her room. As soon as she was gone Daemon came out of the bathroom, as your eyes met with him he smirked and all you wanted to do was to hit him with the broom you were holding to clean.

You didn't want an explanation, you didn't care whether they fucked each other or not, you were done with him and you were not going to entertain him any further or that's what you convinced yourself.

After drying his hair and putting on a trouser he sat down on the bed and you could feel his eyes on you,

“So that's it..we just don't talk anymore huh?” He asked you so you glared at him but didn't respond and that only pissed him off further

“Well it seems to me that you have found someone to sleep with now so there's no point talking to me anymore or coming into my room unannounced..you know all you men are just the same..all you want in life is to fuck as many women as you can and you're just a man whore” you spewed venomously, making his jaw clenched with anger. This thing was only escalating for the worse between you two.

“All the men, hmm? Says the thirty year old Virgin” he retorted.

“At Least I'm not a whore like you and your new girlfriend Caroline” he chuckled as you said that, your words laced with bitterness reminded him of that of a stubborn child.

“Look at you, so jealous that it's pathetic, makes me want to pity you”

“Awn a patient, pities me, what am I gonna do now?” your pitch went high as you faked the sad voice and he couldn't help but be amused.

“I'm not going to follow you around like a puppy, I have never been that man, I did it twice and now you think I'll just continue to run after you when you're treating me like this?” he asked you and it only frustrated you further.

“Well you did it because you were bored and wanted to fuck me but now that you have a whore in the next room to fuck around with there's no need of me” you mumbled angrily, your own words made you cringe, you never wanted to be this woman in life who blamed other women for snatching their men,

“Well my darling you're a virgin mary ..and with this attitude you're going to suffer the same fate as your mother..dying of a broken heart with no-one to protect you”

Your eyes teared up at his venomous words so you glared at him intensely but no words came out. You grabbed the equipment you were carrying and turned around to walk out of his room.

It was decided now, you were done with him. This was a mistake from the beginning.

His words had stung you deeply but what did he mean by broken heart? Your mum died of a heart attack and not a broken heart.

Later that afternoon you saw Daemon and Caroline chatting each other up against her door, even if they hadn't fucked last night, it was bound to happen sooner or later and you didn't want to get caught up in the middle of it.

As days passed, they turned into a week but the hurt of losing a friend stayed and only got stronger with time, as much as you wanted to make yourself believe that you didn't care you did, you missed him and it hurt a lot that he didn't miss you the same, that he didn't care at all that you were no longer in his life. It was as if you never really mattered to him, not one bit.

You couldn't stop working though so you had the misfortune of seeing his stupid face every morning, since your fight with him you hadn't found one single feather or any trace of hair in his room and it did raised your curiosity but you didn't ask him anything, you also refused to indulge him when he was trying to speak with you.

One afternoon you were called into Dr. Viserys's office so you took a deep breath before you knocked on his door and he asked you to get in.

“Sit down y/n” he told you so you sighed and sat down.

“I don't think I ever apologized for that night, I was just in a humongous amount of stress and lashed at you so forgive me for that rude behavior” he said to you so you hummed in response.

“It's not an issue, is that all sir?”

“No i actually wanted to discuss something regarding the patient in 394”

“Caroline Withherson?” You asked him so he smiled,

“I am giving you her responsibility, perhaps putting her next to Daemon was a mistake” he told you so you looked at him confused, even though you knew exactly what he was hinting at.

“I don't understand -”

“Just keep an eye on her, make sure she's following her rules” he told you so you nodded, there was a serious lack of staff at the facility so the burden often fell on the shoulders of the custodians.

As you stepped out of his office you saw Daemon at the other end of the corridor, as his eyes met with yours you quickly looked away but his gaze was set on you. How stubborn could one woman be, he thought? His ego seemed smaller as compared to yours..

He knew you weren't the only one in the wrong here, he was equally responsible for this tiff but you weren't even giving him a chance to speak, in the last two weeks he had tried to rile you up at every chance he got but you weren't giving him anything in return, and the silent treatment was starting to piss him off.

The next morning he was on the bed reading when you got inside his room and just like every day in the past two weeks, he didn't hear a word from you, however he did notice a mark on your hand so he got off the bed and grabbed your arm to inspect.

“What do you think you're doing?” You asked sternly so he glared at you, so that's what he had to do to make you speak, grab you without your consent?

“Who did this?” He asked you so you pulled your hand away from him.

“The burner did..I was making tea..it was an accident..why do you care anyways”

You mumbled as you picked up the dustpan from the cart to collect the filth on the ground.

“Just because you have stopped caring about me that doesn't mean i feel that way too” he said to you so you looked at him with a mixture of surprise and anger.

“Mmmhmmm is that why you're sleeping with your neighbor? To nurse your wounds?”

“She fell asleep while we were talking ..we didn't fuck each other”

“Whatever I don't care Daemon-”

“Oh that I can see”

Your eyes teared up as he raised his voice so he stepped closer to you and grabbed your shoulders to pull you into his chest.

“Why can't you just talk to me like a normal person? Why is it hard for you to just talk?” he asked you softly, his tone now gentler than ever.

“Talk about what? You tell me one day that I'm all you have and then you find a new girl to spend time with and all of a sudden you don't want to make up with me..you just ignored me-”

“Ignored you? All you had to do was just admit that you felt jealous and I'd have done anything to show you why you didn't need to feel that way, you have not even looked at me in past two weeks-”

“Because it hurts to look at you and to watch you replace me so easily-”

“God you're stupid y/n .. so fucking stupid” he said as he stepped away from you to run his fingers through his hair frustratingly.

“Yes I'm stupid enough to trust a man like you-” another jab of yours almost made him want to kiss you just so you'd quit insulting him.

“Man like me? What does that even mean hmm?”

“I don't like you Daemon..you frustrate me..you make me want to say these awful things to you that i have never said in my life, you anger me so much and it's driving me crazy” Your eyes welled up and voice choked on tears as you berated him further but perhaps that's what you both needed in that moment.

“Oh you think you're any better? You're the most insufferable woman I have ever known in my life, you're fucking sick in head you know that? Not any better than these people around here, at least they know they got a problem..you on the other hand? You are walking around freely with your mental instability” he lashed out at you as well as if he was speaking everything he had felt towards you in the past two weeks.

“At Least I'm not a pretentious animal --”

“Pretense huh…I am pretentious?” He growled as he stepped closer to you until there was no space left between your bodies, the flash of red clouded his eyes for a moment, his breath was hot on your face. Dropping the dustpan on the floor you wrapped your arms around his neck as you kissed him, his arms wrapped around your waist as he pulled you as close as humanly possible, it was either this or another cruel words out of your mouth, words that you didn't even believe yourself.

“We are not good for each other” your eyes welled up as you spoke between the kiss and he wasn't any different, his emotions were on all time high at the moment, he had never felt such passion for another soul in his life before, no other woman had made him feel so frustrated yet so connected, “I'm saying things to you I don't even mean-”

“So am i..why can't you just talk to me calmly?” he asked as he brushed your hair with his fingers before he kissed you again.

“Because I'm insecure.. and I don't want to get hurt” you mumbled against his mouth.

“I don't want to hurt you ..”

“But you do”

“You hurt me as well, I ask you to not ignore me and you take it as a challenge”

“I know I do, I don't know how we are supposed to do this Daemon. Okay? I admit I was jealous that she saw you like that, I felt hurt that she got to see you and i didn't”

“I didn't do it on purpose -”

“I just can't..trust anything or anyone anymore, people lie and cheat and hurt-” your voice cracked with the whirlpool of emotions you were feeling.

“Nothing happened i swear darling-”

“You slept with her in the same bed-”

“That meant nothing.. nothing happened, i didn't even touch her” he said to you and as much as you didn't want to admit it had brought you a huge relief.

“Why not? She's gorgeous and she's your type” you asked meekly so he furrowed his brows in confusion.

“How do you even know what my type is?” he asked you so you changed the conversation.

“Did you miss me?” you asked him softly as you caressed his nape, the sultry little touch aroused him instantly.

“I haven't been able to shift since we stopped interacting”

“Why not?”

“I don't know-”

“I have missed you-”

“Then stop arguing with me so nonsensically” his voice was deep and husky as he spoke.

“You say mean things when you're angry” you told him, at the same realizing what a hypocrite you were.

“And you spew flowers?”

“I can be irrational at times..I'm a woman”

“And here comes the misogyny”

“I'm on duty right now..I can't do this-” you mumbled as you pulled away from him, both of your breaths were heavy due to the intense conversation and the kiss that had followed.

“What do you want, hmm?” he asked you so you thought about it for a moment.

“Apologise” you then answered shamelessly.

“I will” he paused for a moment before he spoke again “You are going initiate it though”

“You're so egoistic”

“And you're a pot..you see that?”

You walked closer to him and placed your head down on his chest to hug him tightly as he said that.

“Where should I start? I have said so many things”

“Let's start from the beginning then?”

“I'm sorry if I made you feel used” you apologized as softly as you could.

“I'm sorry I spoke ill of your mother , that was disrespectful and I deserved your anger for that comment” your eyes teared up again as he reminded you of that.

“Why did you say that?”

Your eyes met with his as you looked up so he thought about it for a moment and decided to not speak of that matter until he had complete information.

“I was angry”

“I don't want to fight with you daemon -” the corner of his mouth curved slightly into a small smile as you said that.

“Then what do you want?” he asked, gently caressing your lower lips with his thumb which made you feel distracted again.

“I want you to be nice to me like you're with Caroline” you mumbled.

“I fight with you because I care too much to act indifferent, you don't want me to treat you the way I treat her, trust me” He mumbled as he leaned down to peck your lips “Besides if I was any nicer to you you'd fall in love with me”

You couldn't help but smile as he said that.

“As if”

You answered smugly. Ohhh but you would you thought, since the day you saw him first a part of you knew he'd not be another passing fancy in your life, it was a feeling you had always longed for, someone you could connect with on a deeper level, and the connection you felt with him was undeniable, you just hoped he was feeling it as well.

As you stepped out of his room you realized that the constant lingering ache you had felt in the past two weeks had suddenly vanished. It was replaced by hope and that feeling of a sweet tickling sensation in your heart that you couldn't really describe in a word.

Later that evening you did find him in your room as you had hoped.

“You know the shirt is supposed to be worn?” you said to him as you found him sitting at the edge of your bed holding a dark brown shirt between his palms.

“I brought it for you, to put it on after the shower” he mumbled softly so you smiled.

“Don't tell me what to do” you said as you walked towards him so he stood up immediately and cupped your cheeks, he then craned your neck up and kissed you deeply, his tongue slipped in slowly and you couldn't deny how you had missed this feeling. He kissed you like he had never kissed you before. A kiss that could never be replicated, a kiss that will forever live on in your memory, it was full of longing desire and needy.

It was raw and unbridled, yet tender and intimate.

“I'm sorry i called you a man whore” you mumbled as he pulled away slightly to breathe.

“Mmmm I'm sorry I told you that you'd die alone even though I'd protect you whether you'd want me to or not” he responded.

“Mmmm okay “ you mumbled as you stepped away from him to go shower, when you came out you had his shirt on with shorts underneath as you joined him in the bed.

Without a word he climbed on top of you and caressed your scalp with his fingers as he leaned down to kiss you softly, your arms curled around his neck as you pulled him closer to you, his hair tickling your cheeks and neck so you grabbed them to push it behind his shoulder.

“You came through my window and your hair is long again, did you shift?” you questioned him softly.

“Mmhm”

“Mmmm I'm sorry i called you an animal”

“I'm an animal..it was the term pretentious that bothered me”

“I'm sorry i called you pretentious then” he chuckled as you said that but then he remembered he had something to apologize for.

“I'm sorry i called you mentally unstable”

“I kind of am-”

“I don't mind that” you giggled as he said that and you couldn't help but wonder why it was so easy to get back to him even after such a rift.

“You should go before Viserys loses his mind again”

“I didn't get you in my shirt so you could sleep alone tonight”

“We shouldn't do naughty things, they are such a curse..it's going to make us fight the next day” his brows raised at the quirky statement.

“How superstitious of you..but we don't have to if you don't want to”

But that was the problem, you really wanted to be naughty with him and have him touch you intimately.

“I'm sorry i called you a whore..you're not a whore” you mumbled softly so he leaned down to kiss you again. He couldn't stop kissing you when he had thought of your lips on him every night for the past two weeks.

“I'm sorry i called you a Virgin Mary, even though it's true”

You slapped on his cheek lightly as he joked but his eyes flickered at the gesture, he grabbed your hand with one hand and your chin with the other to kiss you passionately.

He didn't know why as he had always been non-confrontational before in life, especially with the women he had been with, he didn't take shit from anyone until you came along, a part of him rejoiced in these moments of arguments and then falling back to each other as if nothing had happened. He knew it wasn't healthy to argue this way but he'd rather argue with you than lose you to complete indifference as if you were nothing but a stranger to him.

***

Later that night Viserys slumped into his office chair, tired and burdened from the long day he had. He really thought that bringing Daemon here and placing him on medication would suppress this madness he was born with but he was completely wrong. Daemon was only getting worse everyday and he could feel his brother slipping away and gaining agency.

Viserys reached under the table and pulled out a key, which he used to open the drawer in his desk. Inside was a diary that he had kept safely hidden from Daemon all their lives, along with pictures that he had taken back on the day Daemon was born. In the picture, their mother held Daemon in her arms, their father stood by their side, and Viserys had managed to capture the moment as they all smiled for the camera.

His eyes teared up with a mixture of anger and jealousy, even after years he felt the same feelings he had on the night Daemon was born. He traced the pictures, remembering the day their mother had first held Daemon in her arms, the day that had changed the course of his life forever as he became the child that was nothing but ordinary.

“Abomination” he mumbled as he flipped through the pictures.

In the last photo, Daemon laid in his crib, smiling up at their mother, his eyes a vibrant blood red with elongated ears and scales covering his small body.

👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

Taglist

@anukulee @ammo23 @littledark11 @stupidthoughtsinwriting

@daenny-t @avalyaaa

#daemon targaryen x female reader #daemon targaryen #daemon targaryen x reader fluff #daemon targaryen x reader smut #daemon targaryen x reader angst #non canon au #modern daemon targaryen

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brctherscnce · 3 months ago

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MAIN HEADCANON MASTERLIST

i have at least SOME things that might be different from main bayverse canon! thought it would be good to make a list of it here in my personal headcanons! this will be added to the main PINNED post.

note 1: i have not read the comics. while i have seen the movies, some details may've slipped my mind and i am currently basing my bayverse headcanon solely on a mixture of the movies and personal headcanon! note 2: while these are my headcanons, please note that OBVIOUSLY it depends on the mun im writing with on if theyre comfortable with them! i wont force these headcanons or character dynamics on others-- but it's a general idea of events that made him who he is!!

THIS WILL BE VERY LONG, SO IT WILL BE UNDER A READMORE!!

THERE WILL BE THEMES OF DEATH, WAR, TORTURE, BRAINWASHING, MENTAL HEALTH, DISSOCIATIVE DISORDERS, AND SO ON. PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

first things first-- optimus was a miner. similarly to tfone, his orion days were mainly filled with mining, mining and more mining. it led to a while of yearning for something better-- and it's influenced many of his modern habits such as going for long periods of time without sleeping, an intimate understanding of the many shifting changes of the mines (as Primus's body/Cybertron attempts to heal), how to refine energon and an understanding of rationing said energon. however, if you give him an abundance of food that he can indeed have and does not need to share-- it will be wolfed down. he is not used to eating so much, and is only used to rationing and even then only simple meals.

he was mentored by stormreign, and meets megatron (and some others such as ratchet) through stormreign. during orion's struggles in the mines, he was eventually found and taken in by stormreign (the red knight in the Last Knight movie) to become an aspirant and then a knight of iacon. in order to study important topics such as battling and duels, orion meets megatron, a powerful gladiator who-- at first-- did not like orion and believed him a higher caste bot due to his role as aspirant. however, when orion explained his origins, this led to them bonding, and this is where optimus would have his more brutal fighting style when against several of the decepticons. he ALSO meets ratchet, as knights are expected to have basic medical knowledge, and ratchet was someone suggested due to his amazing medical prowess. this is where optimus has gotten the basic medical equipment that his servo can transform into.

as a knight-aspirant, he becomes an archivist/librarian. this was to encourage his studying, and help him understand not just more of Cybertron's history, but the concepts of art, literature, and many fine arts.

optimus meets MANY of his eventual old friends through the knights as an aspirant, save for Kup, whom he meets as a Prime. obviously, Optimus had a lot of old friends during the war. as a basic explanation: orion meets elita, who helps him with learning how to conduct his job as a new archivist/historian once he becomes a knight-aspirant. orion meets megatron to ask for his tutelage in one-on-one or one-on-group combat. orion meets ratchet in order to study basic medical treatment-- this is to allow for in-the-moment and emergency medical procedures to save someone's life on the battlefield, or to allow for quick tendings so as to heal for a time (however, quick tendings cannot replace proper medical care). orion, once becoming the leader of the Knights of Iacon, had personally requested for the assistance of Ultra Magnus (once requesting for the possibility of tutors) to learn how to properly lead a force as important as the Knights of Iacon. optimus (once made a prime) would eventually meet ironhide and kup in order to learn actual war tactics-- optimus was someone who wanted to understand what was happening on the battlefield, not being a leader that would sit back and watch things happen. he was determined to help his fellow soldiers and as such, he needed to learn how to PROPERLY fight on the field. kup and ironhide were his best choices.

megatron is a fellow knight!! yes indeed! obviously, he did not stay in the knights of iacon for very long-- but, with orion's many pleas to stormreign during the time he'd been training with megatron to understand battle and duels, stormreign eventually allows megatron to join the knights of iacon-- orion wanted megatron to have the chance at a new life, for them to truly be friends and to go on journeys together. obviously, that... didn't last too long.

optimus isnt just a knight-- hes the LEADER of the knights. orion didn't only just become a leader when he became prime. after the death of Stormreign (which happens in my canon and at a much earlier time), orion is deemed his successor and is expected to lead the knights. this catches Sentinel Prime's attention, and leads to Sentinel eventually choosing to take him under his wing and make orion into optimus.

sentinel makes orion into optimus. after orion is made into the leader of the knights of iacon, Sentinel catches notice of orion and, in order to make a political move of keeping the Knights of Iacon in his pocket, takes in a very emotionally-distraught orion that recently lost his mentor/sire-figure. this would be around the time of a rebellion being led by a newly-formed group called the Decepticons... and this would lead to Sentinel making Orion into Optimus, to make him the face of the Primacy and thus gets to leave Optimus to do his work while Sentinel leaves with the Pillars.

sentinel didn't betray optimus once, but THRICE. with stormreign's death-- it wasn't just a matter of sentinel waiting for the right time 'til stormreign eventually died. in order to have power over the knights of iacon through using a grieving orion, sentinel killed stormreign... very similarly to that of how ironhide was killed. with his back turned, and with his familiar blaster that'd turn poor mechs into rust-dust. it was nothing personal for sentinel. it was simply an advantageous move for him. and THEN, when optimus DID become prime? sentinel had used it as a way to make optimus the figurehead of the war that was beginning between Sentinel and the Decepticons, thus allowing optimus to take the fall while Sentinel left with the Pillars.

during the war, optimus was called 'nemesis prime'. yes! i have it to where nemesis always has been an active part of optimus, and not something that he was just named out of the blue. during the war, when it got worse and worse optimus began to take a more cold approach towards his foes over time, acting more like a gladiator than a knight due to his feelings of a need to survive as well as to protect the others around him-- this led to him becoming far more ruthless, brutal, yet efficient on the battlefield. thus, this led to the Decepticons giving him the name of Nemesis Prime, originally out of propaganda against the Autobots. THIS is what is eventually used by Quintessa, who is actively using his past traumas to control him more. this will be talked about more later.

this is a lot for the pre and mid-cybertron war eras! here's some mid-series and post-war!

just like in the Transformers (2007) game, Optimus does not ask for the Allspark to be pushed into his own sparkcore. Instead, he does THIS with it to Megatron while saying 'you left me no choice, brother'.

the matrix is optimus's life support. with optimus having been killed at the hands of megatron and the other decepticons, this obviously led to a... lack of life. lack of spark. you know the deal. however, with the matrix being granted to him and as something that is possibly connected to the allspark/well of sparks/primus himself, it's given optimus a new chance at life, though his spark has a wispy 'cracked' or 'shattered' look to it due to the matrix being plunged into his very sparkcore by sam. depending on his physical state-- if he is left without the matrix, he will die within a few months or weeks if he's lucky, or within a few days if not.

optimus still has his jetwings! hell yeah he does! when revived and given the extra parts through Jetfire's sacrifice, some of this had permanently altered the way optimus would transform, allowing for the possibility of transforming to have wings on his back and thrusters to help him fly through the air. however, as most of these parts had fallen, Optimus couldn't really get them again until he'd rescanned a truck during Age of Extinction and had gotten a fresh glow-up. he does not use them often, and they are TECHNICALLY 'detachable'. he still has the mechanisms for supporting wings within his back, but the 'wing' plates themselves will come from the hauler he sometimes has. the hauler can transform (it is more 'sectioned' with how the plating is than it may look to the human eye, due to it also needing to be disguised). this can form the mighty wings optimus has.

optimus and megatron form a rather rocky truce to take down sentinel together. this is the ONLY thing i know about the comics due to the fact michael bay got pissy mad at it DFKSLDH but... optimus, at megatron's offer of a truce, accepted it without fail. things were getting rough on earth by this point, and optimus could tell that sentinel's shit was gonna make things worse... if they wanted to take down a more wiser fella like Sentinel, they had to work together. so, like old times during their knighthood together, they fight to take on sentinel and kill him once and for all. and while obviously the two would separate after this, it wouldn't be for long, as around this time the CIA would force NEST to become Cemetery Wind/the TRF, and thus begin to hunt down Cybertronians. megatron would be nearly killed in his weakened state by lockdown, who would take him to KSI in order to let them experiment and create their own transformers

sam is dead. you heard that right. for most interactions mid-AOE and onward as well as post-series (obviously save for exceptions based on interactions with other muns), sam was killed. this was during one of optimus's attempts to escape along with some of the remaining Autobots (bumblebee) to reach a place where they could hide. however, as they were attacked, sam was killed in the crossfire by Cemetery Wind. he had his body gently prepared and returned to his family.

optimus doesn't kill attinger. i imagine that optimus, despite EVERYTHING, would not have attinger killed. it was no doubt that cade was in danger, but i imagine optimus certainly could've managed another way to distract attinger or knocking him out through the use of a blast nearby him to send him flying instead of killing him, or using other tricks like his optics that made it look like he could have the goddamn ground crumble beneath people's feet. as seen in the previous movie(s), he could INDEED take on multiple opponents at once.

ALSO, optimus does not instantly leave earth when the battles are over. optimus sees it as HIS fault that cade and tessa lost their homes, despite cade willingly bringing him in and offering to tend to him. so, optimus takes this time to find them new homes (and help tessa into college somehow) while also ensuring their safety. this is when he eventually gets to help cade with reaching the junkyard and having it be a safe place for bots. he does everything he can to at least make sure everyone is safe enough before he leaves. and even THEN, optimus communicates what he plans on doing: finding their creator, the one who killed so many just to get Optimus back. and deal with whoever this creator might be. and while he does know bumblebee may struggle with the leadership role due to the behavior Drift showed with him-- optimus will do EVERYTHING to give him the confidence to lead, and shows him that he really can be an amazing leader.

due to different timezones and orbital cycles on planets, Optimus was tortured for far longer than what was seen on-screen. cybertron and earth have different orbital cycles, different timezones, and different ways of measuring time. this means that optimus was tortured for longer than what was possibly seen in the movie by Quintessa-- he could've arrived to Cybertron far earlier than expected, and thus tortured for longer than expected. and she certainly did a lot if OPTIMUS PRIME had his will broken and thus forcibly controlled by Quintessa. this has left Optimus deeply traumatized, afraid of intimacy if it is not with someone he's known for ages (i.e, Kup, Ratchet, Ironhide, or any others, as well as Cade), and often has night terrors.

NEMESIS PART I: despite Nemesis being rather cruel, he is still Optimus at spark. obviously, there's major differences, like Nemesis actively threatening to kill humans, going out of his way to get the Staff to let earth be harvested, and striking down his fellow knights (as well as fighting Bumblebee). HOWEVER, i imagine Nemesis is someone who will not actively fight if people do not get in his way. he is not actively hostile to fellow Cybertronians-- after all, his goal is to revitalize Cybertron and kill Unicron. if humans are not actively trying to attack him, kill him, or get in his way with retrieving the staff, they are spared.

NEMESIS PART II: Nemesis Prime is a result of an identity disorder for protecting himself from his trauma. nemesis is not some 'evil part' of Optimus Prime, but is actually Optimus mentally and emotionally retreating to a point in time during the War on Cybertron, where he took a far more cold and ruthless approach against his enemies and became far more distant and brutal-- it is a separate identity formed from his experiences during the war. he is intense. he is determined to push people away. it is a means of protecting himself and focusing solely on survival. it could be something akin to some sort of dissociative identity disorder. he threatens because he is afraid... but does not actually want to hurt anyone. it is simply because when Nemesis usually fronts, it is to protect Optimus's psyche-- if you are kind to him, he is confused by it (but will, inevitably, return the kindness... in his own way). Optimus will not remember what he did as Nemesis Prime unless he is told.

as of current, Optimus blames himself for EVERYTHING that happened on Cybertron. it does not matter if Megatron himself started the war or if Sentinel Prime forcibly put Optimus into the role of Prime to make him the face of said war. Optimus blames himself for the actions taken-- for the Allspark, for fighting against the Fallen, for fighting and killing Sentinel, for 'allowing himself' (being tortured and broken) to be brainwashed by Quintessa, and for ultimately stopping Earth from being harvested multiple times... as well as for what happened to the Autobots.

he is also attempting to rebuild the commandeered knight ship from Age of Extinction. yes, the ship that Lockdown himself commandeered-- Optimus has retaken it (somehow, probably through a BUNCH of work). considering it held Optimus's very sword within it (as well as his reaction to seeing what Lockdown had done to it, AND Lockdown mentioning his fellow knights), it is safe to say it was once a ship used by the Knights of Iacon. Optimus is attempting to have it fixed in order to eventually leave Earth to try to somehow revitalize Cybertron or find a new planet to call home, all to protect his fellow Autobots. however... that doesn't mean he'll just leave forever. ESPECIALLY considering Cybertron is in place of Earth's moon now.

#ⅠⅠ we were brothers once! `once.` ~ aes./headcanons/musings ⅠⅠ #ⅠⅠ autobots; roll out! ~ ooc / out of character ⅠⅠ #ask to tag tw #death tw #war tw #dissociative disorder tw #amnesia tw #brainwashing tw #torture tw #dissociation tw #mental health tw #survivors guilt tw #guilt tw #betrayal tw #//will reblog this for the afternoon fellas too #//gonna have it in my pinned post since i feel like these are HUGE changes to the bayverse movies

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up-the-bracket · 4 months ago

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The Killing Time, Unwillingly Mine Chapter 2 Notes

You can read chapter 2 right here! I'd really like it if you did hehe. Without further ado, here are my historical inspirations for this chapter:

Obviously Heimerdinger and Viktor did not invent X-rays. That goes to Wilhelm Conrad Röntgen in the year 1895. I definitely took his story and bastardised it to fit within my fic. The idea that Viktor would invent X-rays grabbed me by my throat and I had to write it. It fits so well into his narrative of being obsessed with the limitations of his body.

Compendium Maleficarum, Malleus Maleficarum, Shams al-Ma’arif, and Picatrix are all real books. The first two were witch-hunting manuals from the 16th and 17th century while the last two were manuals for achieving spiritual magic by using alchemy and astrology and both centred on Arabic magic and are from the 13th and 11th century, respectively.

Now onto the real fun things:

Drugs!

Damn, did the Victorians love their drugs. Here’s some beautiful advertisements for different drugs you could by in pharmacies. They put morphine and cocaine in everything and it was often advertised as for children and to help with coughs as well as toothaches.

Laudanum was a very popular drug/medicine at the time and was a mixture of opium and ethanol. It was used as an all-round painkiller but mostly advertised as for ‘women’s troubles’, as a coughing medicine, and as sleep-inducing medicine for babies and children.

For a lot of Viktor’s more colourful descriptions of being high and justifying his drug use I took inspiration from the autobiographical book Confessions of an English Opium Eater by Thomas de Quincey from the year 1821. De Quincey loooved his opium and admits to taking more than a thousand drops of laudanum in a day. For reference, a recipe for laudanum as a cough mixture calls for 60 drops.

I was very thankful for this website which goes over the tools used and how in regards to smoking opium.

In canon Viktor uses shimmer and blood-magic (when he offers his blood to the hexcore, not sure what else to call it) to “fix” himself so I think I’m not reaching too far when I make him take all kinds of narcotics – that were very popular at the time! Also, in season 1 he was generally very reckless with his own well-being.

For Mel, I was partially inspired by the real-life person Sara Forbes Bonetta, an African woman who became goddaughter to the Queen Vicotria herself. Bonetta became a socialite within British society as did her daughter.

The story of how is quite tragic; Bonetta was enslaved by a rivalling African king and was given as a gift to a British Royal Navy captain, and later became ward to Queen Victoria. I do not like this backstory for Mel at all, so it’s definitely not part of my hc for this fic, but the story of Sara Forbes Bonetta is an interesting example of micro-history.

I also liked the idea that she would wear something that stands out, something artistic. The Künstlerkleid was in starch contrast to the more stiff dresses of most British women at the time. They rejected the heavy materials and constricting designs for more free-flowing, draping materials in softer, brighter colours. I wanted her to be ethereal (because, canonically she just is).

And Victorian women apparently wore open-crotch drawers... do with that what you will.

I put a lot of Greek mythology in this chapter and that is with good reason! Academics in Europe in the 19th century were obssessed with Ancient Greece – the movement was called Philhellenism. It influenced art and poetry and litterature. In the 1870s archeologist Heinrich Schliemann went to modern-day Anatolia in search of the legendary city of Troy. When he uncovered a royal cementary he was sure he had found King Agammenon’s final resting place (he didn’t, as later archeologists have pointed out) and the West was swept up by renewed interest in Greek history.

In the last notes I didn’t go into detail why the group of poets called themselves Uranians. In Greek mythology the gods have several “faces” and functions, and in the case of Aphrodite she had Aphrodite Pandomos and Aphrodite Urania, among others. Pandemos was the goddess of sensual pleasures while Urania was the goddess of love in mind and soul. Gay men in the 19th century took the term Uranian because it was believed that Aphrodite Urania was created from the semen of the god Uranus without a woman involved in the creation. In their opinion Urania was superior because she stood for the connection between minds instead of the “carnal desires of the body”.

Thank you for reading all my ramblings! It's been so fun.

And thank you for reading my fic!

#jayvik #jayce x viktor #fanfic #vampire fanfiction

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superblysubpar · 3 months ago

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Thank you my love @rebelfell ! I'm sorry I'm two days late 💛

Help me write for some works in progress! Send me an emoji in an ask, and I'll write a few sentences or paragraphs for that WIP.

🕸 - Simply The Best

(Canon/Spiderman!Steve | best friends to lovers)

🎒 - My Girl

(teacher reader x teacher!singledad! Steve)

🍒 - Craving

(modern!Steve | roomates/slight best friends/slight situationship to lovers)

💛 - Shine For You

(this is like...idek what this is. It's strangers to friends to enemies to just messy messy things with Steve. Some big canon things. A mixture of some things I wrote a long time ago, and some things I've wrote recently like this )

🦇 - Wicked Game

(vampire!Eddie things a la this little guy here)

⏳ - Everywhere, Everything

( steve x reader AND eddie x reader, though it's majorly an Eddie fic. My rewrite of my very first fic: Leather and Lace)

#ask games 💛

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sweetshelluvaau · 1 year ago

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World/Lore Building - Redoing the Rings of Hell [Pt 1 - The Basics]

this is the best picture I could fine for the ring colors lol

Today in 'Sweets Attempt to Overhauling the Messy Worldbuilding in Hellaverse Because She's Bored', we gonna revamp, rework and add to how the Rings of Hell work because why the fuck not. This post will covering color changes, travel between them and other fun stuff. I will briefly go over ring aesthetics but I'm gonna be saving a post on each ring for another time Anyways putting this under Read More because it's gonna get looooooong...

Okay to reblog, feedback and criticism is welcomed.

Part One: Colors of each Ring.

More of a nitpick than anything else but I don't like some of the color choices for each ring because some just don't really make sense. Why is Envy purple when it should be green? Ya know: 'green with envy'? That and Purple is Pride's color normally. I think the color red itself is fine in itself but I feel as if you're gonna give purple to another ring at the very least it shouldn't be Envy!

Again these are kinda nitpicks but they bother me nether the less. Here's how Hellaverse's rings work right now color wise.

Pride: Red

Wrath: Orange

Gluttony: Yellow

Greed: Green

Lust: Blue

Envy: Purple (why tho?)

Sloth: Pink

Here is how I plan on changing the colors a bit:

Pride: Purple

Wrath: Red

Gluttony: Orange

Greed: Yellow

Lust: Blue

Envy: Green (as it should have been!)

Sloth: Teal

Yes, all the colors are of biblical context (minus Sloth which is a light blue but didn't want two blues). I was ordinally thinking about switching the canon colors of Lust and Sloth around but decided agasist it. The Lust Ring's color is the only one to remains the same from canon and I changed Sloth from pink to a lighter shade of teal but that may change if I can think of a more 'dreamy' like color.

Decided to keep the canon order the same for now but that could change later on. I think it's fine the way it is.

Part Two: Ring Aesthetics

One of the major complaints I see people bring up about Pride, let alone Hell in general is that it's too Earth like which in some sense, I agree but also don't really mind it at the same time. I'd be more forgiving however if the world around the aesthetic of Hell was interesting and we understood how the worldbuilding worked I honestly feel like I'm repeating myself at this point but it's true wtf is the worldbuilding in these shows.

Some rings won't change too much aesthetically but will be added on to, while some will get a complete overhaul.

-Pride-

So this is the Pride Ring we have in canon. To be honest, outside of all the red I don't think a city HELLscape (lol get it) is necessarily bad. Maybe not the most creative, but I don't have a problem with it. If anything I'd expand on the architecture where there's a mixture of old otherworldly and fantasy like structures but as time went by parts of Hell became more modern and there are parts that do represent different era's in time as well as Sinners start taking over areas of the Pride Ring.

This is more of a question for myself but how does the Pride Ring work in regard to cities and such: We have two shows, in Hazbin we have Pentagram City, In HB we have Imp City? So my question is are Sinners stuck in the first city or is Imp City a section of Pentagram City? Where is Stolas' palace in Pride? Is it even in Pride? Honestly this kinda confuses me more. Not that this persay matters on the grand scale of things being Sinners are in all rings in my AU but um does anyone think about this? Why are their different cities in rings anyways. Should it just be one huge thing in each ring? Am I thinking too hard about this?

Anyways if you read the above part, I'm also gonna just have Pentagram City being the center of Pride while the outskirts of the city being more like 'suburbs' where you'll have some royal and higher ranking demons as well as hellborn in general while the edges of the ring is more rural/undeveloped land which is mostly owned by nobles or sold off and made into makeshift little communities by others, often imps and hellhounds due to high prices within the Pentagram itself.

A lot of hellborn ordinally from Pride moved to other Rings or choose to live in the outskirts being how Sinners started taking over Pride, both of those who landed there and those who 'smuggled' themselves in and considering leadership does not care enough to do anything about it, well...

Also: NOT SO MUCH RED WHAT'S WITH YOUR OBESSION WITH RED VIV! Definitely will add some purple because um...pride?

-Wrath-

Honestly: No complaints about Wrath. I think it's mostly prefect the way it is. Again, maybe not have it so bright with the red and add some other colors along with maybe some wild west style towns but over all I like how it is in the show.

All imps originated from Satan with the original purpose of them being troops and labors during a war between Heaven and Hell (I'll talk about that along with my timeline lore for this AU at another time), though after the war and as time went by, imps ended up across all of Hell and gainned freedoms, even though they're still second class citizens.

A lot of Wrath's culture is very violent and hostile and outside of The Pain Games, sports that then towards violence and destruction like wrestling, mix martial arts, boxing and monster truck derbies are also really big. I will expand on talking more about the ring itself when it gets it's own post.

-Gluttony-

Again: No complaints about the aesthetic here. I love the lush, tropical vibe it has going along the beehive/70's architecture. I plan on even having my Beelzebub having a bit of 70's disco queen/Donna Summer's vibe for her. And ya know, NO RED IN SIGHT!

Gluttony is seen as a vacation destination for foodies and for it's beaches and party culture. It's also where most of Hell's agriculture is grown when it doesn't come from Wrath.

Hellhounds also originated from Gluttony but not from Bee herself but from Cerberus and were part of Hell before it was known as Hell. Again, something I will talk about at a later date.

-Greed-

Okay, you guys are bored seeing me praise shit now we're gonna get critical. To say I'm not a fan is putting it lightly. Honestly the idea of there being suburbs like we see here in the picture above looks boring and well...what's with the greenery (not a pun this time)? Isn't Greed suppose to be a toxic wasteland and a crime filled HELLhole (lol I did it again hahahaha I think I'm funny). Why is there organized crime in Hell? Let alone law enforcement? Who the fuck knows the worldbuilding in this show makes as much sense as Viv wanting to make Stolitz end game despite there being no chemistry between them.

I'm gonna take some ideas and headcanons from my friend Nihlis while also do my own twist on things:

Greed is made up of different sections: In the very middle we got the city part of Greed along with an entertainment district. Like, Gluttony, Greed or at least that part of Greed is basically a vacation destination not too similar to Las Vegas. Gambling, nightlife, lives ruined in more ways than one. Basically an overly exaggerated hellish version of that where the house more than never always wins. It's also where Loo Loo Land is which is definitely not a rip off of LuLu Land nope no legal issues to be seen here.

The surrounding area, often concealed by magic to those who visit and live in central Greed so no one can view the more nastier parts is basically a concrete jungle filled with industry and mining facilities. Most sinners and hellborn who can't afford living in the center are in these parts.

Greed is basically Hell's manufacturing center due to lax rules and cheap labor cost. About all industries in the ring are owned by Mammon himself (the final CEO) but he has others making sure these facilities are running smoothly considering he has a lot of business going on throughout Hell.

There may be tiny little edges which aren't anything but rock and mines and a few nice establishment depending on who claims the land but other than that the whole Ring is an over the top capitalistic shit hole.

Also, more yellow and other colors outside of green because damn that is a lot of green. At least it's not red but c'mon you can mix colors together Viv. I may still do something with the whole demon mafia/crime syndicate thing in the show but they're treated more like legitimate but still under the table 'business' while also funneling money in other rings as well. About all of these are Hellborn ran which are made up of mostly Imps, Lone Sharks and depending on who leads them, allow sinners in their ranks. There are at least two or three successful Sinner Overlords who do also run these 'business' but they're no where as powerful they would be if they were in Pride...

There's also no REAL law enforcement in hell neither so of course these go uncheck.

-Lust-

Not gonna lie: I kinda dig the red light district vibe. I think it makes sense and overall works but I'd likely play around with it a bit and flesh it out more.

As for my version of it for the notes I got down so far: Humorlessly enough though The Lust Ring is pretty tame during the day, where the skies are more pink and bright but nothing really risqué is going on. Yeah you'll likely stumble across a few sex shops that are open and general shops/restaurants that have double entendre names because c'mon but at night is when it's alive and well...Lustful XD Not sure if I'm gonna keep the 'always rains in Lust due to Greed's water leaking down' thing but heh. Honestly I may scrap that and move that idea for Sloth being Envy is above it but more of that below...

-Envy-

Considering we have yet to see what Hellaverse's Envy Ring will be like, well...

Will go more into it in it's own post but definitely like the idea of an glamorous underwater city that only those with Souls (my Hellaverse's currency) can afford. Leviathan also makes sure that the more 'ugly' parts of Envy are hidden away from the general public and those visiting the ring and is completely not ashamed to throw out those that don't fit her ideal utopia.

Loan Sharks are originally from Envy but because they didn't fit the 'aesthetic' they're either down in the slums of Envy (which unless you live in the ring, you're completely unaware it exist) or tell them to take a hike and throw them into Greed or Pride if they refuse to stay down there.

Envy is also where Hell's fashion and beauty industry thrives and Leviathan also hires social media influencers to hype up and sell the Ring and their own ventures being the sin of Envy is about having something the other has but you don't and will tear them down just to get it, after all...

The sin of Envy is pretty fucked thinking about it...

-Sloth-

I'm completely overhauling Sloth for two reasons: 1) There's no REAL health care system in Hell in my AU (still doesn't really make sense to me) and 2) Honestly I prefer the idea of Sloth being a weird hybrid of a Cyberpunk dystopia and Silicon Valley. Very high tech, most things are automated and unless you happen to be an Imp or Sinner: Life is easy and relaxed being even as an inventor, you don't need to do the hard part of creating and building it. Once you have your ideas down just throw it at the Imps and Sinners and they'll build your invention for you while you claim all the work.

There's always a new start up each day where investors are throwing whatever Souls they have at pretty much every thing they see all at once knowing only one or two of those start ups are going to be profitable and successful while the rest crash a burn. You know: Like the real Silicon Valley.

Will talk about my version of sloth in more details soon...

Part Three: Traversal Between Rings.

I really do love the elevator concept and think it's something that could be explored more so I'm keeping that but what other modes of transportation could there be?

First I'll talk about the elevator system: I like to view it working similar to a rail system. Ya know: buy a ticket, hop aboard, get to your destination within an hour depending where in Hell you are. It may be longer if you're going to Sloth from Pride. These modes of transportation are open to all excluding sinners unless they have clearance to travel outside their ring which is a luxury rarely ever given out.

However, due to the elevator system being over 100,000 years old and possibility even older when ever Hell was fully established, this lead to the crust of each ring to tear and change form which lead to cracks that unless you know where to look, are untraceable. This lead to another form of transportation open to sinners that wish to escape the ring that they're in hoping for a better opportunity or escape there enteral punishment: Travel between the cracks.

Unusually the safest route to traverses these 'tunnels' is sinners going though 'smuggling operations' often ran by hellborn (part of those gang ran 'business' I talked about in the Greed section) who happen to have mapped their own path, either playing as their guide or selling these maps for a price. However these are often extremely expensive as those running these operations often take advantage of desperate sinners and scam them out of their money.

Most Sinners however go at it alone or in small groups but this could be a dangerous endeavor due to the fact these tunnels are unmapped and easy to get lost in. Eventually you will make it out but it may not be the destination you originally intended. You may even end up back where you started from.

But what about those who don't have time to take long haul travel? A Sin who need to get somewhere ASAP or perhaps a royal who doesn't want be sitting next to those filthy presents?

Easy: Portals. I mean we see Stolas using them all the time and Ozzie even was playing around with them in the Mammon episode but for my AU they work a little differently.

For one, they can only be used to traverse though Hell and only Hell! Unless you have Stolas or Loona having that actual spellbook on hand or one of those crystal things that makes the whole point of the grimoire in the show pointless, travel to Earth (or the mortal realm by Hellborn, sometimes referred to 'topside' by sinners and hellborn alike even though Hell/Heaven is more a different plane/dimension and not under/above the earth itself but we're getting off topic) is impossible. You need strong magic and/or spells that work in order to travel topside (ex the Grimoire) but unless you work for a Sin to spread...well, sin on Earth or some noble; you don't have clearance to do so. (At least legality...)

It's possible a few of these things can change in the future but this what I got as of right now. I'll have the other seven parts written out I get the chance and feel I have enough to share.

#Sweets Attempt to Overhauling the Messy Worldbuilding in Hellaverse Because She's Bored #yes I'm making this a tag but mostly as a joke #helluva boss rewrite #hazbin hotel rewrite #sweets helluva rewrite #finally i got this done ;A;

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meepinmeat · 4 months ago

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Mother Merlin

Look, my Magister Celestino is still canonically asexually produced by Dionel and 100% genetically him but thanks to the God Of Death (whom I'll be referring to as G.O.D from here on out) acting a lil surprisingly chill and also some weird tension..? And the clear implications of there being a Merlin during the First Divine War and possibly further back then before it,

So unfortunately, indeed, I have to make a previous Merlin for Celestino. First thing I defaulted to was the classic Merlin that we've seen with the white arcanist wig and the hermit robes. Then I remembered a modern AU with @bunnybird-afk that we did, and for such a miniscule detail of how Cel would be born since obviously fantasy shit doesn't apply there, so Dionel needed a surrogate mother to birth Cel.

Then I see art of this one Twitter user's (@nevermore_pic) depiction of Magister Merlin that's so breathtaking, and their collab/fanarts of their mutual (@okamoht) helps add duel to the fire of who I will introduce as Mama Merlin. The first Merlin in Celverse, who near the end of the First Divine War was on the brink of giving out after using up ALOT of her power to seal away the Hypogeans, striked a deal with G.O.D to retain her life force and essence in the living realm so she can stay and find a way to continue her duty in helping Esperia by living on in another person and they'll pick up from there. Thus, upon passing out, her essence went and fused with Dionel's life magic that went into the mixture that Cel would be born from. So kinda reincarnation but not really? But it's also why I'm calling her 'Mama/Mother Merlin'

And lemme add, yes, yes she and Dionel knew each other back then when they were both just mere peasant mortals 🤭

#afk journey #afk merlin #afk dionel #afk journey merlin #mama merlin #afk god of death

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ponds-of-ink · 4 months ago

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Quick FNAF 6 Drabble: “Of Prize Tickets and Of Threads”

Well, I’m pretty much going to be gone for almost the rest of the weekend. So I wanted to post something for fun before I go to sleep. And what better way to do that than to expand on some older head-canons (and then some)?

—

Scraptrap leaned against one of the vent’s “walls”. His good ear struggled to cling onto one of the many conversations going on nearby.. Or above. Wherever those partygoers were.

As he speculated on the whereabouts, a familiar sound made him raise an eyelid. Clanging chimes, followed by a tinny voice saying “Congratulations! You won a prize!”

“A claw machine,” Scraptrap mused to himself, half-chuckling. “And here I thought the new manager removed them…”

The clatter of a flap door proved him wrong. Many young voices cheered— But not in a way Scraptrap was expecting. “You got the dud!” one of the older youths cried over the rest. “And the last one, too!”

“How many tickets do you think I can get for it, ‘Trix?” a meeker voice asked with geniune intrigue.

“Not much,” a third, more nasally kid chimed in. The keyboard-like clack of a pocket calculator made Scraptrap inch closer. “If I had to guess, your best offer would be a plastic ring and twenty tickets,” the kid resumed. “And that’s only because of the rareness.”

“You’d think the rareness would drive up the ‘price’,” Scraptrap muttered to himself, shaking his head. “At least to… bah, what do they ‘sell’ over there in the cheaper spots now? Actual miniature plush toys? This calculator Trix seems to be using?” He shook his head again, now with much more energy. No. Now was not to speculate on the modern Prize Corner ‘economy’.

On he crawled towards his destination. The would-be traders’ voices faded away, yet their talk lingered in the rabbit’s mind. He thought about the doll he won from a crane machine months ago. If that was the same one, then did they get the same Scrap Baby? Or was it one of the other three? If it was any of them, then which one was the “dud”? Lefty wouldn’t make sense, as he was the only stage-worthy one. Molten Freddy could have been— But surely someone would have found winning an octopus-bear made of yarn funny. And that alone would ramp up the trades a little.

So, that only left Scrap Baby.. And him.

Judging from the aftermath of his own Circus Baby stunt, collectors would have loved to get their hands on this mysterious variant. A new Circus Baby? In this era of Freddy’s? And inspired by old plans the founder commissioned concepts for? Ha! It would be foolish to call Scrap Baby’s plush form a “dud”— Especially in front of all those fans born from forum speculation and collecting promotional items!

Scraptrap grinned as he turned the corner. His fellow robots’ little selves had survived the fires of mockery. And, soon, the toys’ life-sized counterparts would strike.

…If he could ignore the one lingering question, that is.

He stopped short of the final corridor. A heavy sigh escaped his slumping body. The manager had already left the room. And, what’s worse, the question kicked out any drive to attack anyway.

“What about my little plush self?” he thought as his chin thumped against the vent ‘floor’. “Obviously, it got some attention. Whether or not the buyers treated it fairly afterwards is none of my business. Yes, it is a shame that Spring Bonnie’s newest iteration isn’t as popular— Far from it, even.. But it’s not supposed to be Spring Bonnie! Not exclusively! It is supposed to be a mixture between suit and man. The suit and I…!”

His good ear lowered. Looming dread began to cloak the flames of frustration. “…That could imply some things,” his train of thought resumed as he crawled towards the barren office. “But.. Sales of something loosely bearing my ‘likeness’ should not be the main concern. What should concern me is the fact that I am the only one here..”

Scraptrap fumbled out of the vent. He looked around, but all he could see was the pitiful working conditions before him. His arm rested on the meager office chair. Was everyone else arguing about the Prize Corner now?

Two green dots stood out in the darkness before him. Rapid thumping soon followed. “Scraptrap, look!” a soft-spoken voice called out in glee. “I got a plush for free!”

“That’s nice, Baby,” Scraptrap said casually, nearing the vent. “But why would we need such a thing?”

Baby tilted his shadowed head. “Well, I figured someone needs to take care of him,” she said thoughtfully, extending her claw arm towards the rabbit. “The child who dropped this off really didn’t want to, so…”

Scraptrap’s eyes widened. Before him was an olive green bunny with incredibly “messy” reddish stitches. One of its arms was shorter than the other, with no paw to speak of. Its button eyes were in the style of his own crane-won ragdoll— Except the rabbit’s left eye had a two tone look. An attempt to mimic the slack eyelid of its non-plush counterpart, no doubt.

“..I see…” Scraptrap said in a much more plaintive tone than expected. With a careful hand, he scooped up the thing and inspected it further. Aside from a multicolored bunny tail made from yarn, no new details caught his eye. “Well then,” he spoke up more firmly, “who is going to give this little one a new ‘home’? Molten? Lefty?”

“I was thinking…” Baby hesitated briefly. “..I was thinking I could.”

The poor rabbit nearly dropped the doll. “You?” he asked in equal parts surprise and disbelief. “You really think this little…creature.. will be a fine addition to your collection?”

Baby nodded sternly.

“Let me rephrase this,” Scraptrap advised, handing back the doll to its new owner. “Are both of your instincts in agreement? Does your ‘heart’ and ‘mind’ think that this fulfills your prettiness quota?”

Another firm nod, punctuated by a tighter grip on the poor plush.

“Very well,” Scraptrap huffed as he finally took a seat in the manager’s chair. “I will offer no further advice on this matter. Do with him what you like.”

Baby’s eyes glowed like sparklers in the dark. “Thank you!” she cried out, nearly hugging the struggling out of her newfound ‘friend’. She hurried back into the darkness. Her voice happily relaying the news was the sole reminder that she was nearby.

As she regaled them with her story, Scraptrap leaned back in the chair. If he wasn’t so worn out from all that clambering through vents, he would have cackled. So much for that trading system! And so much for that spiral he almost slid down! All crashed before his eyes— With Baby as its absolute, resolute outlier.

“Perhaps I should give my own little bundle of yarn a quick visit,” Scraptrap thought as he rose to his feet. “It’s not like the manager’s going to be back anytime soon..”

#scraptrap #scrap baby #fnaf 6 #fnaf fanfic #william afton #fnaf #quick fic #drabble #< I think?#hehehe #one of my oldest Fnaf headcanons finally got uno reverse card-ed

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