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captainsspnanon · 1 year

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C2E68 - Reflections - rewatch

My brain is skipping around a lot today and this episode is once again encounter heavy, let’s see how far I can make it in before my head shuts down.

Did I literally have to look up how to search for things on twitter to see if Sam actually live posted? Yes. Did he actually live post? Not according to what I could find via searching. I’m disappointed, he could have copy/pasted to do them! If he DID do them and they just got removed or didn’t show via my searching, I’m even more sad.

Wait no they’re reacting like it’s real? Did they get taken down? Just not show via search?? OH WAIT I’m looking at the day the episode posted, June 24 2019! But it would have been June 20th! *researches* AH HA!!! I am now pleased. It does seem like there are still a few that are ‘missing’, unsure if not actually sent or if somehow lost to easy searchability. Had to snip these together, the search had them all out of order.

As Nott and Yasha keep watch, and Nott introduces the idea of thinking of what’s the worst thing that could happen, I did not put it together originally that as Yasha discusses being tortured and chained up and dying that way that it’s essentially what happened to her with the Iron Shepherds. (...she doesn’t have a lot of luck with people whose names contain ‘Iron’, does she?)

As I started this scene, I was thinking about how much I love the tower and wish that they had it for more of the campaign so that we could have more scenes in it (I will never get enough of the tower), but episodes like this really wouldn’t have such poignant and important moments if they had the pretty-much-guaranteed safety of the tower. In a sense, the dome actually is much more meaningful to the Nein, simply for how long they had it, and how it provides a relative safety while still needing watches due to uncertainty, whereas watches in the tower are usually unneeded. ….now I’m doing my Mansion = VM, dome = M9 thing where they are more scrappy and living rougher. I really wonder if I would like VM more if I was able to watch a lot more of their earlier play. I don’t think so, because the group really needed to grow in terms of home-game-antics versus live-show-antics, but I miss the fact that we didn’t see the early days of VM the same way we do with the Nein. ...I just live the Nein so much you guys. SO MUCH.

“What do you mean Caleb killed his whole family?” THIS. ENTIRE. SCENE. Chefs kiss, a million out of ten, no notes at all. Sam is doing a lot of heavy lifting but Ashley is coming in with some GREAT punches “I’ll be sure to use it in front of the entire group, I’ll sound trendy”. And of course, all of this capped off by just watching EVERYONE die repeatedly in the background. CONTINUOUSLY.

In all serious, this is by far pretty much the best moment of showing how, in all three campaigns, sometimes people forget who knows what – just because it’s been so long that they’ve been playing. Liam, by all rights, could have been annoyed with Sam from dropping a huge plot point of Caleb’s background, especially just completely offhand and with no way for Caleb to even take control of the narrative for a moment. But he doesn’t. There’s such a give and take, trust and understanding at this table that I think viewers repeatedly forget. Bowlgate would never have reached the level it did if people didn’t think that Marisha and Liam were actually upset at each other over it. I remember an argument in C1 between Keyleth and Percy where the fans were TEARING Keyleth/Marisha apart, and then in the Talks after Marisha and Taliesin were talking about how funny it was because they, out of character, were completely agreeing with each OTHER’S arguments and not their own. So when accidents like this happen, there are no hard feelings and fights off camera. MAYBE, at most, Liam may have reminded Sam ‘hey that’s kind of a big thing, can you make sure you don’t bring it up with anyone else until I do, in game?’, but I very much doubt that conversation was had. (plus it’s pretty damn obvious to anyone with eyes that Liam is clearly enjoying this more than anyone else with how hard he’s laughing the entire time.)

Even better is the whiplash from such a funny scene into Caleb and Beau discussing what comes after death. This is something where I wonder if Liam had wanted to have this conversation with Beau, or if he knew it would work very well after such a funny bit to immediately move into something very dark. Interestingly, Caleb never felt to me like a PC that really ruminated on what comes after death. I can see him thinking about it more once he finally lays to rest the idea of turning back time to save his parents. I wonder if this was an early moment where he started thinking about maybe not actually taking that final step and then having to think of an after life where his parents weren’t saved. Liam was so unsure of what he would do if presented the chance, even all the way towards the end of the campaign. We never really get a resolution of if Matt would ever have let it happen the way that Liam/Caleb planned, even if it was all nat 20s, and I honestly think that’s the best for the story. Let us not know, the same way that Caleb doesn’t know. It’s the most narratively satisfying to me – I would not enjoy a story where he failed and despaired for failing, and I don’t know how Caleb would progress in a story where he succeeded and then all of a sudden it’s on Matt – do his parents forgive him? Hate him? Where do you go from there? Ending with him accepting himself, accepting his grief and responsibility as well as his lack of responsibility, it leaves much more for Caleb after the campaign ends.

Omg I forgot Caleb talks to Beau about how he’s feeling so awkward with the situation with Nott!!! I’m not saying I ship Widobrave and I’m also not saying that I DON’T ship Widobrave, but the Caleb and Nott dynamic is of the best pairing dynamics in all three campaigns bite me. (I was about to say that the only one that came close was Vex and Vax, but then I’m like wait what about Caleb and Beau, and Beau and Fjord?? So okay, I guess THOSE are my top four dynamics) It’s fun thinking about how much Beau and Caleb hated each other at the beginning of the campaign, and now he’s asking for relationship advice. THE BEST.

For all of the fact that the Fjord and Caduceus dynamic is amazing, they actually don’t have a ton of scenes together that I remember. This one, acknowledging fear with a very small mention of the gods, was very sweet.

Wait wasn’t Frumpkin a cat? ‘Cause he explored the tunnels leading in? ...Yes! Because Caleb turned him from vulture to cat when they were staying at the store place! Eh, it happens occasionally. That’s how we got a flying spider back during the Iron Shepherds bit. (goddamn it I ALWAYS want to type ‘shephard’.)

Aww!!! A C1 reference I missed the first time around, as they’re talking about being very quiet on the metal bridge they make a few ‘clang clang clang’ references to Pike.

I actually really like this part of the Gibbering Mouther encounter because while it’s just continuously rolling stealth, it provides tension without really dragging down the game. It helps to have the physical bridge there but only seeing a part of it at a time. The group doesn’t know how many times Matt’s going to keep laying out maps, but it’s also not an interminable time with theatre of the mind.

(Liam going ‘where are you Vax?’ and Marisha going ‘dead.’ 10/10)

“Laura’s calling” I love this so much

Solid credit to Matt for planning this encounter. He was reasonably able to assume pass without a trace would help them get across easily enough, so there’s disadvantage when they are at the center of the bridge, there’s a rusted out plank (I wonder if that would have existed if Nott hadn’t been searching for traps, or if it was credit for the high roll), there’s a roper ensuring that some noise would be made just due to natural combat, without penalizing any players for their actions, Matt designed this so that there would HAVE to be a multitude of wisdom saves. Plus, while I’m not sure what the rolls are, either Matt is consistently rolling ‘bad’, or there is a higher chance that a PC just loses their turn, rather than leaps off the edge or attacks someone, so it also doesn’t feel super targeted. Out of the five build-up encounters of this area (spiders, lightning, zombies, this, and then mirror people) this one is my favorite. (though in all fairness I also completely forgot about the mirror people until I saw them on critrolestats, so….)

Interesting with the conversation with Liam about holding a spell as a reaction, I thought you could use a different spell for your reaction but you’d lose your held spell. I can’t find an easy answer on google though, so who knows. I’m pretty sure he wanted to use feather fall. Whether it’s accurate to rules or not, I think I would have ruled that he could cast feather fall, but lost the slow spell including still losing the spell slot for it. (then again, Matt consistently rules that you can’t move for a held action, but RAW you can, from what I can tell) Also I feel like he’s ruled differently about this later on. Ah, mechanics. So not my forte.

*later*

*grits teeth* I must not scream about my bullshit coworkers. I must not vent about my coworkers online where, even though this is an anonymous site, there is always the slight possibility that they will find the posts. I will ONLY say through teeth clenched so hard that they might crack, wonderful to know that you can take a month and a half to get me information that I needed (which other people were getting on my back about not being completed and I had to keep reminding them that I cannot make the decisions you make), but now that you need information from me – in a SIGNIFICANT amount of detail – you’re getting all pissy that I’m saying it might take me a week to do. You know, after all the shit that I have to do with my regular work, PLUS the fact that you only just got me the info *I* needed, and updating what I need to do will take time! But no, you get to send multiple high importance emails and give me shit that I can’t get it to you fast enough.

*screams*

Okay, with that vent done and to deal with all that shit tomorrow at work, time to get back into an awesome encounter. Which I think is almost done? Just time for the Laura/Travis/Matt interaction about player agency that I will talk about once it hits.

And there it is! In fairness to Travis, the message from Laura was not ‘do this’ and he was saying no. It was preceded with an ‘if’ (though the wording details are of course unknown). While him refusing to do something that Laura tells him directly to do is a sheer dick move, the fact that in the moment he is uncertain about if the ‘if’ factor qualified, or if her plans would have changed, the fact that there was a delay, I can understand his motive. Especially because he didn’t have Jester do something else, he had her hold her action, which then, assuming Laura clarified, he could then ask Matt to do whatever it was.

On the other hand, once again, fantastic table. Sam gets clarification multiple times that Travis is not doing what he was requested to (done in a humorous and exaggerated effect, but also still clearly checking in and bringing it to attention – likely that this was a choice he disapproved of but didn’t want to come right out and say it). After Sam does his spiel (I SWEAR that word should have an H in it somewhere, fuck spelling), Matt, having very clearly picked up what Sam was putting down, gives Travis another opportunity for clarification. Is Travis, being given clear instructions, disregarding a player’s agency because she was not there. And this is the moment that Travis clarifies the ‘if’ that Laura had originally given him.

Now, I’m not one to over analyze microexpressions (I mean, yes I kind of am, shut up), but when Sam starts his bit, you can visibly see Matt 1) turn to completely face Travis, 2) get a more serious cast to his face, and 3) start to open his mouth, only to allow Sam to finish before he goes to Travis for clarification. There’s a lot of situations at the table where I wonder what would have happened if a moment went differently, or what a conversation would be off screen, but here, I don’t really need to imagine much. If Travis had refused, if he hadn’t clarified the ‘if’ statement, I would lay solid money down that Matt would have told him that Laura’s judgement ruled, regardless of what Travis wanted to do. It wouldn’t have been mean, hell it probably wouldn’t even have been Uncomfortable, but I cannot see Matt do anything except put his foot down in this moment.

Luckily, all that ends up being not needed because the delay was enough time for Laura to text back and confirm that it was no longer an ‘if’, she wanted to do the action, and Travis IMMEDIATELY went along with her choice. This is also why I don’t really consider this too much to be Travis trying to take away player agency or anything like that. As soon as there was the confirmation he instantly and without hesitation had Jester do what Laura said. The only reason he even hesitated in the first place is because he was still unsure of what she wanted to do.

Huh, something I missed on the first watch, why does Matt have the mouther try to bite Jester? I think he just forgot that it wasn’t it’s turn, unless it’s got a reaction which allows it to make an attack whenever a creature comes within range? I’m usually not nitpicky about Matt’s DMing, I’m surprised that I’ve got a few things poking at me this time.

(Sam having written dumb things about Laura or said by ‘Laura’ on his flask, only to update it to super nice things once Jester saves Nott. Sadly critrolestats only has one image, but it has “Sam is a genius” “I eat farts” “Laura Buttley” and “I heart thick ass tentacles”. Rewinding a bit to count bridge sections, there was also mustace and beard, “ass without a trace” and I THINK “dicks are dumb”, “Travis you motherfucker”. Sadly, youtube comments don’t have them listed, and Flando’s comments were more general. LOL never mind. Coming back here from the second half of the episode and it’s all gag stuff again. Drawing of a penis, the traveler wuz here, other stuff I can’t make out.)

“Thankfully, Nott and Jester didn’t spend enough time in the chasm’s grasp to experience its blinding spittle, which does exactly what it sounds like. Had anyone dropped to zero hit points by being bitten by the chasm, they would have dissolved into the chasm and become another set of eyes and whispering mouths amongst it.” HOLY FUCK CRITROLESTATS. I did not know that, and I feel like I didn’t need to know that. Holy shit we could have gotten a permadeath! I mean, unlikely considering that it didn’t do too much damage and the party had a billion ways of getting out of there (dimension door, misty step, thunder step, polymorph anyone into something that flies, etc. etc.) but still! COOOL AF.

Once again, giving full credit to Matt for the design of this encounter. He has Jester and Nott end up one segment of bridge down at the end of the bridge, so the encounter is almost finished. But! The players were technically in the ‘center’ of the bridge, and I just went back to review. It took five bridge segments for the players to reach the first ‘center’ of the bridge, and then the one that they are on right now is the sixth section. By all accounts, there should be five more sections of bridge that they have to travel along. But, in terms of interesting encounter, five more sections with a banished roper and just continued stealth rolls AFTER the badass moment of Jester jumping down and dimension dooring? Then it can just become tedious, with more of a desire to just finish up the section and move ON, rather than actual tenseness from the encounter. So Matt, by having such a flexible design, allows the encounter to end significantly earlier which feels good both for viewer and for player.

Oh hey the whip! Don’t they give that to Fjord when he loses his powers?

AH! I’d forgotten about this speak with dead moment so figured it wasn’t important (why do I do that, I’ve clearly forgotten very awesome moments and things) and it’s when they first get the name of the Laughing Hand! Very specifically also mentioned to be The Undying too, nice foreshadowing there. Once again, Sam being way more in tune than he likes to portray outside of the game, immediately recognizing the relationship to the King.

Caduceus/Taliesin asked very good questions here (and Matt is generous with allowing a redo for a question that didn’t quite work), but a tiny part of me wishes that he’d used the last question about asking about Nott’s flask. Granted, asking how to survive the mirror chamber and being told ‘don’t continue’ is AWESOME AS FUCK and incredibly atmospheric, but imagine the laughs!

Interesting that they do find footprints which I am assuming to be Obann, because I thought Obann essentially ended up tricking them into clearing out the tombs for him. Hmmm, I guess not. Wiki doesn’t specify it at all. Maybe the party mentions it as a concern that they had and I took it for fact? Or I’m mixing up facts from a different section, or possible different campaign entirely XD

Thought I was gonna finish this today in a shockingly fast two day rewatch, but with an hour left my focus is shot. Let’s see if I can finish it tomorrow and have a three day turn around!

LOL nope instead I had a week from hell with basically no sleep so now my sleep schedule is all fucked up. AND I started getting pain in one of my teeth yesterday, so I probably have a cavity. T.T But at least I’ll finish this today, so still technically only three days of watching? Just….with a week break inbetween XD

I wonder why Fjord was able to touch the mirror and only see a glimpse of movement, whereas Yasha touched the mirror and was immediately pulled through? I mean, in game reason. I’m pretty sure the Doylist explanation was that Matt was building tension (and very successfully!). Perhaps the creatures were waiting to see what happened?

This map is truly amazing. Once again, it’s technically a ‘simple’ map, just walls at weird angles and then mirrors, but because of that simplicity it makes it distracting and jarring with all the reflections. Definite proof that a good encounter doesn’t need a fantastic map – with this one so simple and the other one literally just chunks of a bridge at a time.

While the concept of this encounter is very fun, especially with the additional puzzle aspect, I don’t find it as engaging as crossing the bridge. The creatures make look like the other PCs, but there’s no mechanical benefit to the deception, which would have been fun. I think my ranking would be bridge, lighting chamber, zombies, reflections, spiders.

Ah! I forgot about the music trick to get through the door! Very very clever! I wonder if Matt would have still had that as a requirement if they’d never heard the music through the statues. I’m assuming not, and he would have a different method of getting through.

Always a fan of the little after-conversations before the streaming wraps. Especially when Travis tries to weasel information out of Matt. (Oddly, I find in C3 that Matt is more willing to share information after a session.)

#cr c2 rewatch #critical role #the mighty nein

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primalspice · 1 year

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Ratbro?: A3, A4, A17, B7, B13, C1, C4, D3, E1, E8, F1, F7, F11, G1, G2, H8, I6, J2, L2, L4

Ray Mond

A3: Do they have any emotional or psychological conditions? Are they aware of it? Do they try to treat it?

i havent officially diagnosed him with anything but really just the average of what you'd expect from a guy revived from the brink of death then kept captive for like 30 years. he's depressed and pretty intensely hypervigilant. his social skills leave much to be desired and he has relatively severe memory loss issues. lobotomy victim. overall he's just extremely disoriented now that he's existing in greater society once again, which is partially due to his disorders but also to be completely expected with circumstances like that. he doesnt know what's going on really or how to fix it, he just would like it to finally stop.

A4: Are they a pessimist or an optimist?

In his youth he was certainly an optimist. it's one of the things harvey looked up to him for. even after his resurrection i think he was at least Grateful, for an amount of time, that he was given a second chance. he's really been through the wringer tho LOL idk if he has much faith in humanity doing the right thing, even if it Sounds like the right thing at face value cough cough

A17: What’s one of your OC’s proudest moments of themselves?

he was proud of himself for finally completing his military training and makin it to the real deal!! that didnt last very long!!

B7: How do they respond to babies crying in public?

it activates the suddenly-easily-agitated switch in his brain and he has to walk away before he ends up questioning his desires to be injure infant children.

B13: Do they have a large or small group of friends?

he was quite popular in his youth, but he doesn't really have friends now though at all unless you want to count faust trying really hard to be his 'bestie'. He was somewhat social when he was at the facility on a good day, but there weren't many good days.

C1: Does your OC have a moral code? If not, how do they base their actions? If so, where does it come from, and how seriously do they take it?

he's pretty much just been living in survival mode, not necessarily by any strong moral code. he believes in helping his peers whenever he can but thats really the only thing he's certain about. the political climate is completely different from when he was 20 vs when he was in the facility vs now so he doesn't really feel he's got enough backstory to determine who's in the right/wrong. his moral code never ran very deep in the first place, it pretty much exclusively consisted of like. protect/help others. be a nice person. he never felt any reason to make it more complex than that, thats why he joined the military <3

C4: Do they consider themselves superior or more important than anyone else? Lesser?

i think that he's well aware that his general aptitude is lower than that of the average Region Zero citizen (maybe not as low he believes tbh) because of all his lost years, so in that way he feels lesser. I don't think he sees himself as being any more/less deserving than the next guy tho. faust kinda treats him that way at times but raymond just thinks hes weird LOL

D3: How comfortable are they with the idea of death?

he would love to finally die LOL he's near 100% comfortable with it and is deeply troubled by the fact that he couldve died relatively painlessly several times, but now he gets to just continue living in more and more pain instead because someone decades ago decided that more population = more prosperity

E1: Would you say that your OC is intelligent? In what ways? Would your OC agree?

he's not highly intelligent but he's certainly not stupid. just average. i think his kindness (give or take a few lashing-out's) and willingness to cooperate certainly outshine his smarts. he's quite ignorant of anything to have happened in the last 25 years (can't blame him) and even before everything happened he was quite simple-minded but certainly intelligent in an interpersonal way... kinda refreshing in a place like this LOL. i think he'd claim he's dumber than he actually is.

E8: What’s one of your OC’s biggest regrets?

I think he'll come to regret working with faust, just because he doesnt want to be part of a whole sabotage scheme (nonetheless one against his own sister, as soon as he gets released from 25 years locked up). he really doesn't even want to see her again in this state, it'd be too complicated and tragic. but alas.

F1: What sort of home do they live in now, if at all? How did they end up there?

he's living in the office with Faust LOLLL there's a guest bedroom. Faust asked him back to the capital after he 'liberated' the handful of people left at the facility, but kinda just struck him a deal to stay indefinitely. he of course has nowhere else to go, so he decided he would stay. itd be 'an honor to have him as a spokesperson for survivors of region zero's mad science' or something, whatever faust said.

F7: What’s their “dream career” or job situation?

tbh idk if he has one LOL he'd be fine even just being in the military again, or a cashier or something. he just wants a normal life by region zero standards.

F11: What are some of their favorite things to do for recreation? How did they get into it? What part of it do they like the most?

i dont think he has a ton of hobbies at the ripe age of 45 LOL i bet he'd enjoy a good crossword or something though, or something else mildly mentally stimulating. he's probably read the same few books 10 times each due to the limited material in the facility for all those years. he'd probably be happy to read something new finally.

G1: Is your OC close to their family?

He was pretty close before all the facility stuff, but obviously not anymore. He had a pretty standard relationship with his parents and never caused much trouble, but the relationship was a little weird only since they were relying on him a bit for money. they never asked him to do that tho. he was basically harvey's best friend and role model. he'd still visit them often after he joined the military. everyone looks back upon those times fondly.

G2: Who makes up your OC’s family, at least the more important members to them?

well his mom and dad are dead (i think he'd already assumed this) so really all that's left is harvey, and she's estranged due to the circumstances. she's still important to him once he figures out she'd still alive, but of course the situation is quite compromised. if this is you asking if he has any children due to the Milking....well maybe.

H8: What’s your OC’s idea of a perfect date?

I DONT THINK HES V PICKY LOLLL. A NICE MEAL AND A MOVIE PERHAPS.

I6: Could they eat the same thing they enjoy over and over and not get bored of it quickly?

He's learned to over time, since that's pretty much the meal situation in the facility. he does get bored of it quicker than he'd prefer tho </3

J2: How politically aware are they?

unaware as Hell right now but he's about to learn everything that's happened in the past 25 years in 10 minutes faust-style <3 he didnt even know who the damn president was!!!

L2: What do you consider the biggest themes in your character, if any?

another one i havent thought about much, but as im typing this i guess im thinking about the irony of his Faust Parallels. Guy who wants to live but is dying against all odds vs guy who wants to die but is living against all odds. guy who has a dead sister he couldnt be there for bcz of his own foolishness vs guy with a somehow alive sister he couldn't be there for (still a fool) etc etc. you get what im sayin?

L4: Would you hang out with your OC if you could?

god no i feel like itd be really awkward even if we ignore the fact that he is double my age. what would we even do. POV:

#ask game #raymond

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randoimago · 2 years

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Hey hi! I was hoping to request Briarwood Daughter Reader and a Percy De Rolo or Vax (u can choose) crushing/relationship headcanons? (To clarify, I finished C1 and LOVM)

Percy Falling For Someone That’s Related To The Briarwoods

FANDOM: Critical Role

Character(s): Percy De Rolo

Type of Request: Headcanons

Note(s): In that case I'm going to write this for the campaign just because the Briarwood's kept coming back and that'd be so interesting for this situation.

I ended up going a bit long with these headcanons so I ended up just doing Percy because of it.

Did the Keep Reading because of the stuff that happens in the Campaign so hopefully show-only people aren’t spoiled for upcoming stuff!!

Percy

Okay so in the beginning, Percy absolutely wanted to hurt you. You’re a Briarwood and so he doesn’t trust anything you do because what if it’s a trap and you’re going to hurt him and his friends?

It takes the others to convince him to let you talk and stay. Percy is still very wary of you.

But over time, he ends up actually having conversations with you that aren’t just him making snarky comments and insults your way. If anyone mentions you growing on him then his response is, “yes, like a plague.”

The more you talk and actually get to know each other, the more he realizes that you really are nothing like your parents and he does start to enjoy your company.

There are moments when he feels betrayal like when it turns out Delilah isn’t dead. But you’re just as clueless and surprised as him, so that betrayed feeling is gone because you didn’t know and you weren’t hiding secrets.

While Percy enjoys your company, he would never admit it. Also would never admit having a crush on you. Hell, when he learns that he does, he tries to do whatever to get rid of it. Yes, you’re proving to be a good friend. But your family killed his and what would Cassandra or the ghosts of his siblings and parents think of him falling in love with someone related to the enemy?

Again, it would take a talk from Keyleth or Vex to have him actually pursue anything with you. He still can’t help but feel guilt at the idea of betraying his family with you and Pike has to assure him that he isn’t betraying anyone.

It takes a long time before Percy does actually ask you on a date. He still has feelings of guilt but when he’s with you, he’s just happy. Communication isn’t his strong point, but when he does admit to you his feelings and learns they are returned then he is over the moon. Not that he would readily admit it.

#critical role x reader #percy x reader #percy de rolo x reader

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delilahbriarwood · 2 years

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a lot of briarwood moments were extremely enjoyable and expanded/improved upon in legend of vox machina, but there are a couple of things i’ll never forgive, namely:

delilah gracefully appearing in the courtyard after sylas in her classy purple smoke instead of falling flat on her ass like she actually did rolling a nat 1 with a dexterity of 20 (i said what i said, the score is correct, i have the reverse math to show for it based on the fight, bitch had 20 dex, EAT IT)

delilah speedrunning necromancy, iconic as it was - there is a reason why their story hits 50x harder if you know that she went out there, FOUND A CURE for sylas’ disease when it was thought to be incurable, and HE WAS DEAD by the time she’d returned. like. she actually tried to do the impossible and succeceed but it was just a little too late. depending on whether she tried to magically contact him or not on her way back, imagine her just showing up extremely happy and full of hope and blissfully oblivious and just finding homeboy sylas lifeless upon her arrival. IT! HITS! DIFFERENT! also, just, vecna’s secret laboratory was across the fucking shady forest next to their estate? really? i get that it’s 20 min episodes and there wasn’t enough time to get into the nitty gritty BUT MATT HOW COULD YOU?! you replaced her going feral, doing wizardly activites and SCREAMING INTO THE ASTRAL SEA, bordering on insanity and all-consuming grief with just, vecna casually sliding into her DMs once sylas had lost some boob volume so she can anime run to some convenient location and flip open a book?! COWARDS.

the fact that they’ve made delilah seem like she was an actual devout follower of vecna. once again, i get that the 20 mins runtime doesn’t allow a deep dive into supporting characters’ motives, and it was just easier to write her off as a full on cultist, but that’s factually incorrect. the quote itself ‘i broke the world for us’ means delilah fully realizes that what she’s doing is not beneficial to the world. that she’s causing great harm for her own selfish reasons, which she’s okay with, as long as she gets her end of the deal. as later supported by the ‘honor our bargain’ line as well. i can talk about numerous things from C1 that would highlight a transactional relationship between vecna & delilah rather than a familiar one, but that feels like it should be its own post. that being said, i reject the idea that the self-made boss bitch who was already in a position of power before sylas’ untimely demise would feel the need to strongly align herself with a lich because she believes in his cause. na-uh besties, that does not check out. delilah briarwood did NOT spend her entire life investing in the academic path “an accomplished practitioner of the arcane arts, a long-trained wizard as far as I know and been through quite a few different schools” (as per asum) just so she can be a mindless fanatic looking to use her own resources to lift someone else up. her one and only reason of serving vecna was always sylas, and the fact that the little lichshit bound sylas to him to hold it over delilah’s head. probably if vecna felt it was neccessary to have insurance like that, he didn’t really trust delilah to be a blind follower either... STOP EMBARRASSING YOURSELVES @ WRITERS. LET DELILAH BE HORRIBLE ON HER OWN MERIT.

the show does get brownie points for malewife sylas & the soft moments & THE PROPER DISPLAY OF THE CHOKER, FINALLY!!! i can’t believe matt pointed it out once (1) during the camapign and it was never alluded to after??? i still headcanon that it’s a vecna-related modified blood claw choker (remember how C1 transitioned from pathfinder which is a 3.5 adjacent system and this is a 3.5 item??? i see you matt.) or something because you know SHE WOULD.

probably there are other things as well but i’m ANGERY now and i need some ORANGE JUICE to calm down.

#delilah briarwood #legend of vox machina #[ LVM ] now that's content ;;

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treesnutsandleaveswrites · 3 years

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Crossing Paths

Pairing: The Bad Batch x Reader (Polyam)

Summary: You make the weapons drop with the Batch, then Omega’s new friend try to rope you all into the a new problem

Warning: none really, some angst, some fluff, TBB spoilers

Word Count: 1812

pt xv pt xvii

XXXXXXX

You and Omega were examining the multiple weapons the Batch was assigned to give Gobi Glie.

“Why does Gobi Glie need all this again?”

“Many people aren’t very welcoming towards the Empire.”

“But you said he was famous as a freedom fighter and the Empire hasn’t been around for that long… does that mean he was still fighting before that?”

You nodded, placing a blaster down and looking at her, “A lot of twi’leks were taken from their homes and put into slavery.”

“But didn’t the Republic enforce that liberation act all those years ago?”

“Yes, but only in the systems in the Republic, there are those in the outer rim and the Confederacy of Independent Planets that it didn’t apply to.”

“Oh,” Omega sat back in one of the seats, “Like Caetum?”

You nodded, picking up another blaster and examining it. Of course it still bothered you that the Empire had taken over Caetum and treated your people poorly.

“Y’know… the rest of the batch never really talked about you. I’ve only heard them murmur in their sleep… I asked once, but they all went silent. You… you were a slave once, weren’t you?”

You hesitated before nodding with a small hum.

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of, Lodestar.”

You looked at her with a smile before closing the weapons case and standing up. You then walked into the cockpit as Tech steered the ship, approaching the moon’s surface. There was a ship waiting already and you went to get your helmet.

“We’re reaching Ryloth, Omega.” You announced before you put your helmet on, so she nodded and went to the gunner’s mount to grab something. The ship then landed, so you opened the hatch to make it easier for the boys to move the weapons cases off the Marauder. You watched as they approached the awaiting twi’leks and eyed a much younger one with them. Omega must’ve seen her too because her head cocked up slightly as the young twi’lek approached the ship, admiring it.

“What kind of ship is this?” The young twi’lek wondered.

“It’s a modified Omicron Class Attack Shuttle.” Omega replied.

“Can I have a look inside?”

Omega looked at you, so you looked over to Hunter, who nodded gently. You looked down at her with a small nod so she got up and went in the ship with the girl at her tail. You stayed at the threshold of the hatch while the Batch talked with Gobi Glie. After a bit of conversation, Hunter turned to you and flicked his head to call you over. You stepped down from the ship and went to the small group, bowing your head shortly in greeting.

“This is our colleague: Lodestar.” Hunter introduced.

The twi’leks’ eyes widened slightly as they looked at you.

“You are Lodestar? The one who freed slaves in the Western Reaches?”

You nodded gently, “Sadly, my time of freeing has come to a delay.” You stated, your voice filtered by the modulator in your helmet.

“We understand. That is why we are here. The Empire has a… corrupt vision. Many on Ryloth do not want to be a part of it.”

You nodded, turning to see Omega and the young twi’lek exiting the ship. They rushed over and Omega stood by your side.

“Alright, we must get going. Thank you for making this drop. It was an honor meeting you all. Especially you, Lodestar.” Gobi Glie held out his hand and you grasped his forearm as he grasped yours in mutual respect. You urged Omega to follow her brothers and she waved.

“Bye, Hera.”

“Goodbye, Omega.”

You took a moment, watching as their ship made its way back to Ryloth before heading into the Marauder. You closed the hatch, then took off your helmet and took a deep breath. Your head dipped back slightly as you released it while closing your eyes.

“What is it?” Echo’s hushed voice came from beside you, which caused you to look at him.

“I’m alright…”

“Don’t think I didn’t hear you in the ‘fresher last night, mesh’la. There is something on your mind…”

You gave him a weak smile before cupping his face, “Always so caring…”

He reached his hand up to caress your arm, “You can tell me, my love.”

You took a moment before speaking, “I… I’m seen as this beacon of hope now… like how you all first saw me when I was just your communications officer…”

“Yes?”

“I hate to be the one to give people high expectations I cannot meet. To be the bringer of false hope…”

“There are some things we can and cannot do, mesh’la. You are just one person, you can’t change the course of one major thing like galactic liberation in one cycle… it takes time.”

You nodded, moving into his arms so he could embrace you, “I missed you, Eck.”

He chuckled, “I missed you too, mesh’la.”

You sighed gently, trying to make the hug last but not too long to delay him from any tasks. You finally let him go after another moment before he headed to the cockpit. Then you sat down as the ship left the moon’s orbit, setting course for Ord Mantell. Once it was safe to move around the cabin, you went towards the gunner’s mount to see what Omega was up to. You climbed the ladder carefully so as not to make too much noise. You popped your head up into the compartment and saw her close to the window, knees to her chest, pushing D-5 away from her as he rolled back as if it were a game of tag. You laughed gently as you made your way fully into the mount which caught her attention.

“That used to be my spot.”

“S-s-s-star!” D-5 bonked your arm and you pushed him back towards Omega, who smiled weakly before looking away, brows knitting together. You cocked your head in worry, moved closer to her, and placed a hand on her shoulder.

“What’s wrong?”

“I dunno… I just…”

You caressed her hair gently, “Feelin’ a bit lonely?”

“Yeah.” Omega sighed.

“Never really around anyone your age... must’ve been nice meeting Hera.”

“Yeah. It was.”

You smiled and wrapped your arm around her, “I understand. I lived on Kamino for nearly 10 years and I was only surrounded by Kaminoans and clones. There was barely anyone like me unless the Jedi or any senators were visiting..” You chuckled, “This past year was odd because everyone didn’t look the same.”

Omega laughed gently with a nod, leaning into you. You smiled before leaving a gentle kiss on her head.

“Don’t worry, Omega. There’s a whole Galaxy to explore… more people will cross our path.”

She nodded with a hum before speaking, “For now… this is good.”

“Yeah.” You whispered.

The two of you stayed there, talking with each other. You were telling her a story about one of the first foodfights you witnessed as their communications officer.

“I can’t believe Tech was the one who started it!” Omega giggled and you nodded.

“Trust me, I was just as shocked. But then Wrecker took the lead and the others followed after him.”

She laughed gently, but then Hunter called to the both of you from the cockpit. You looked at her in confusion, but she shrugged before heading out of the gunner’s mount with you. You entered the cockpit with her and saw a hologram of the young twi’lek, Hera. Omega approached, trying to listen to the transmission.

“Omega, it’s Hera! The Empire has taken my parents, and they are after me now too. I’m sending coordinates. Please, hurry. I need your help.”

Hunter paused the transmission and looked to Omega, “You gave her our comm channel?”

“For emergencies--and that sounded pretty urgent. We have to go!”

“Perhaps the situation isn’t as dire. Children often overreact.”

“No we don’t! You heard her, she needs us!”

Hunter placed a hand on her shoulder, “Omega… it’s a big galaxy. We can’t put ourselves on the line every time someone’s in trouble.”

“Why not?” Omega questioned, “Isn’t that what soldiers do?”

You looked at Hunter with a small smile as he looked at her in slight shock. You then looked back at Omega and urged her to come to you before crouching down as she stood in front of you.

“Omega, you know I understand your concern more than anyone… we’ll go to Ryloth, but if something happens and we can’t help, then you know what we have to do.”

She looked at you for a moment before determination filled her eyes, “We’ll be able to help. I know it.”

*******

The Havoc Marauder landed in a secluded part of the valley, which was filled with cargo. You all filed out of the ship and looked around.

“What is this place?” Wrecker wondered.

“I think it’s a base… probably something Gobi Glie established.” You explained.

There was then a sudden commotion and you looked to see a C1 astromech droid approaching, waving it’s extensions around frantically.

“What’s his problem?” Wrecker asked as it approached Omega.

“Thank you for coming.” Hera approached you all, “I wasn’t sure you would.”

“You said you were in trouble.” Omega responded.

“Care to tell us why the Empire is after you?” Hunter butt in.

“Because my father is Cham Syndulla.”

Tech looked up from his datapad and pushed his goggles up, “The freedom fighter?”

“Yes… this was his old command outpost. It’s where I’ve been hiding. The Empire’s begun targeting anyone loyal to him.”

“What do you want us to do?” Echo finally spoke up.

“Free my parents from the capital. That’s where they’re being held.”

Everyone looked to each other concerned, which caused Hera to become more desperate.

“They can pay you if you get them out! Please? I don’t have anyone else to ask…” She then turned to you, “You are the famous Lodestar. My father and Gobi were talking about you. Many of the twi’leks know of you because you have helped many of our kin… they would be forever grateful.”

You turned your head slightly to Hunter, who looked at you. You still had your helmet on, but you knew he could tell what you were considering. Then Omega went to Hera’s side and gave her a nod.

Hunter let out a small sigh before speaking, “Let’s see what we’re up against first, but no guarantees.”

Omega and Hera smiled, but you took off your helmet then looked at Omega. You approached the two girls and smiled sadly.

“Omega… remember what I said on the ship.”

She nodded, “I know.”

You looked to Hera, “As I told Gobi… I am not that liberator anymore. The Empire knows about me also, so it isn’t as safe for me to do things like that anymore.”

Hera nodded. You all then headed towards the Capitol.

XXXXXXX

Masterlist

Taglist: @darkangel4121 @lightning-wolffe @alucas528 @rintheemolion @shadowfoxey @butch-medusae @gabile18 @incandescentlywarm

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purpleshaded15 · 2 years

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C1 The world has been so hard on Percy...

Looking back into C1, I can’t help but notice how hard the whole campaign has literally been for Percy.

Tragic Past & Traumatic backstory is a given.

But the world itself has been hard on him. Like it’s always out to try and hurt him so much more than he already was.

The Legend of Vox Machina itself has the entire Briarwood Arc traumatize Percy over and over again. It’s almost half the season, 5/12 episodes, where he froze in PTSD. (Ep 3 Blue screen, Ep 5 Sun Tree, Ep 7 Cass, Ep 9 Archie, Ep 10 Cass.)

Campaign spoilers:

Ripley made sure to distribute guns so he will lifelong suffer the guilt of what he unleashed into the world.

His demon wants to eat him. Still out there.

His villains kept coming back even to C3.

2 Gods he tried to put his faith in, (1 he asked for guidance/help in a moment of desperation, 1 he shared a vision/value of knowledge) has rejected him in favor of others. One called him broken, one called him mad. Well, at least he can say he tried.... (Also, can they really be Gods if all they saw in him was a broken madman? Not a man who’s clearly trying his best to become someone else than that...?)

---- rant on------ I’ve got pent up thoughts & emotions from before so I’ll just put it here...

1 RQ - telling a man who already thinks he’s broken beyond repair but still trying (at least the reason he sought her was to get guidance or answer on how) to fix it and this Goddess just reaffirms that he indeed is broken and there’s just no fixin it?! F#(k Off!

2 - Ioun - Here’s a nerdy ass tinkerer who put so much value on knowledge and history that his INT is maxed at 20 (w/out magical things to boost it) purely because he’s a science guy. He knows the importance of knowledge. He tried to keep the spread of dangerous knowledge (guns) just like Ioun kept dangerous knowledge too. Then you brush him off because of his “secret” at the time (which eventually came out) while choosing a person who has been SO MUCH MORE SECRETIVE. Lying. Manipulating. Rolling so high in deception that no one could find out the truth. He never even confided in his supposed “bestfriend” his menial problem. (Compared to Percy’s problem/s, Scanlan’s is absolutely menial. Heck, it’s real world family problem that even I went through that shit and my case is actually worse than this bard’s family issues. Scanlan’s ARC is the best? Where his problem is about establishing connection w/ his daughter? Tell that to Percy who will never establish much more & deeper connection w/ his parents...)

And when others were insight checking him (Scanlan), he rolls for persuasion/deception instead of opening up! Then he guilt-trips them with it, saying VM don’t know anything about him, that they don’t care. The manipulation... before and after !!!

He does tell stories in song, but he doesn’t write them. He doesn’t sing the praises of knowledge. He doesn’t even understand nor appreciate the gravity of what was given to him... And more over, he twists the story & memories even of his friends. I will never be able to accept that choice!!! ----- rant over-----

Percy’s already been so hard on himself. Why must the world be so hard on him too?!

The only thing in the world that wanted him was the darkness & evil. LOL

If it weren’t for Vox Machina (& Vex especially), he might’ve literally become the devil.

Oh, yeah, the contract is still out there too... XD

#jeez how many loose ends you've got #percy de rolo #critical role spoilers #critical role #cr campaign one #cr 1 spoilers #percival de rolo #orthax #vox machina

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loquaciousquark · 4 years

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Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E116-119 (Dec. 15, 2020)

Hi! I missed the first three minutes or so and opened the stream to Brian giving an absolutely incoherent ...ad? for some jewel game? Six thousand jewels just for logging in? Some app in the app store and he’s literally been talking about this now for six minutes and I don’t know what he’s talking about. He finally wraps up, Laura brings the show to a close, and we’re all a little worse than we were before.

Ashley tries to get us back on track and Henry bays over her. Brian tries to ask the first question and breaks off into feigned sobs halfway through. This is chaos incarnate.

Tonight’s guests: Laura Bailey & Ashley Johnson.

How’s Yasha feeling right now about Molly? She and Jester both are desperately curious about whether there’s a spark of Molly left in Lucien that can be brought back. It’s not the same as when Yasha was controlled by Obann; this seems more like just the way this is now. They’d settle for even finding the good in him, like they did with Essek. Brian jokes that they can monitor his mental state if Matt’s Irish accent starts to slip a little bit.

Jester is a little wary about scrying on Lucien now since he’s able to see her back. She’s interested to try again now that Fjord’s given her the necklace.

Ashley has to run and grab a replacement set of headphones from Brian after hers get “crunchy.” It’s pretty cute seeing them run around and smooch on another screen. Brian teases that he doesn’t have any more questions for Jester since Caduceus has been doing all the healing lately. Laura tells us indignantly that she had Heal prepared for Caduceus in that last big fight, but Fjord got to Cad first. Brian explains how this is the same as all the good jokes he always lines up for Talks but never tells. Ashley’s crunchiness continues and we go briefly to a technical difficulties screen while Brian hops up to fix it.

Dani pips in to get this show back on track. Save us, Dani!

Ashley hadn’t thought about the aspect of Lucien controlling his friends’ minds, but finds it really creepy. It’s a cool game dynamic, and it’s a little different because they’re there willingly, but it’s really weird.

Jester thinks that “the tarot cards know all. She wants to buy into it real hard.” If it doesn’t make sense now, it will later. Laura has an Idiot’s Guide to Tarot Reading.

They’re super interested in why Aeor is like it is. Were they more advanced than us? Did they evolve along a different line? Ashley loves sci-fi and is all about this, especially since she wasn’t there for Happy Fun Ball time & hasn’t been able to get caught up on some of the things she missed in between, so she’s using this as an erstwhile replacement. She can already tell there are some things from this campaign that will bother her the way the unopened box did from C1. She and Laura both seethe at the camera about having to leave the spider behind.

Cosplay of the Week! Harland3r on instagram with a gorgeous winged Pike with a shield & mace. It’s an incredible photo and the wings look great.

Travis distracts Laura by dancing like a Trex offscreen. That seems right for this episode.

Jester’s encouragement of Yasha pursuing Beau was important in a lot of ways, not least because Ashley considered herself as uninterested in D&D romance as Travis & was a little unsure of activating a romance among her friends. However, it felt really natural within the game and it was really helpful to have Jester’s in-game encouragement. Yasha’s grown a lot and is in a much more positive place and is ready to find out what’s possible. Laura: “Jester from the get-go has seen Yasha as this wonderful soul from the beginning, and has seen how sad Yasha’s been through everything, and to see the difference that she exhibits when talking about Beau is drastic and wonderful. Jester’s joy in life is helping others find joy.”

Ashley points out it’s also so fun to “yes-and” with Laura because you’re like a little kid being dragged along by the hand - you don’t know where it’s going, but you know it’s going to be fun along the way.

Ashley does have a sense of “thank goodness Marisha isn’t jumping right into this” so she can coax herself into it, but when she tried to figure out the poem she had a lot of drafts that didn’t survive. She intentionally crafted the letter to give Beau an out if she didn’t feel the same way. There’s a lot going on with Lucien right now and there’s constantly a running thought in the back of her head about “maybe Beau is not into this.” Even the last couple episodes with Jester & Fjord have had Ashley finally understand shipping.

Brian brings us to the moment “almost as romantic as the pre-season finale of the Bachelorette.” Jester was “goo” afterwards. Early on in the campaign, Jester was very forward with her flirtations with Fjord & he shut her down. And then he kissed her underwater and immediately went and slept with Avantika, and Jester automatically shut herself down, because she thought she was misunderstanding & would only be hurt by those emotions. She deliberately focused on just being there with her friends, making everyone healthy and happy. These last few episodes where Fjord was flirting back felt like “my teenage heart again, my first kiss, the boy I like actually likes me back!” and she was able to open back up.

Yasha definitely has some instrument plans for those bones. She doesn’t know if she’s going to add to her harp or create a new one.

Ashley and Laura cheer about Travis stepping out his comfort zone. Laura thinks it was really good that he was doing it with her, his real-life wife, to see if he likes that sort of stuff in his D&D campaign. “It was just so sweet. It was just so sweet.” Brian says he’s actually a really romantic dude & Dani is so glad he asked before the kiss. Brian: “It’s going to be so sad when he breaks your heart and goes back to the corpse of Avantika.” Laura: “It’s fine, Jester will be long dead by then anyway.”

Jester does believe the four-year time trade was worth it, but that the city leaves “a mark on your brain,” especially as in-depth as she saw it. “Jester’s always been reticent to talk about her age because she’s aware she’s perceived in a juvenile way by a lot of people, and she’s insecure about that. She grew up by herself without a lot of social interactions and is experienced in a lot of ways now and naive in others; she’s very aware of human emotion around her, but chooses to see it in a certain way.” Losing the time makes her wonder if she needs to grow up & become an adult about certain things now. Laura: “I think actually she’s closer to Fjord’s age now. Actually, I’m not sure about his age. I don’t know how old he is - I’ve never even asked Travis!” Brian: “I think he’s definitely fifteen.” Laura: “Travis, how old is Fjord?” Travis, off-screen: “Sixty-five,” but he’s had the Mask of Many Faces up this whole time. Later, he adds that he’s in his early 30s.

Ashley has really enjoyed digging into Yasha’s more humorous side lately. It’s how she gets comfortable as a player, making it fun and light in a way that this year needs. “It’s also really funny to think that Yasha doesn’t know how Message works.”

Brian congratulates Laura & Ashley both on their game awards nominations. Brian vamps trying to get himself in as the presenter, but incidentally refers to Laura as his sister in the conversation and it’s super cute. “I would like to be the one to give the award to either my fiancee, or my sister!”

Fanart of the Week: @ethanmaldridge with an illustrated page from the Katzenprinz book. It’s just beautiful.

Jester’s polymorph gambit was terrifying, but the stakes got even higher when everyone else got stunned. She does lament choosing a bunny at the start. “Frickin’ Fjord’s armor!”

Yasha loves being polymorphed lately. She thinks it’s kinda funny, especially given her rigid upbringing with such defined roles.

Laura feels like Jester and Vex are weirdly two halves of herself. Brian: “You see the very bargainy, I’m gonna use my wit & smarts to negotiate situations. But at the same time, you’re very open to what people are thinking & feeling and navigating that. What you end up putting out (though it comes across as innocent and naive) is something pure because she truly believes it.” Laura thinks Yasha and Pike are the same way for Ashley, though Ashley feels a little closer to Yasha right now. Sometimes you just feel really exposed. Laura compares how much idealism she put into Jester to her character from Fruits Basket.

Since Yasha didn’t belong to either side in the war, she’s not hugely concerned by the fallout; she more wants to make sure her found family are okay and safe. Jester is the same way, Laura tells us. Jester doesn’t have any greater vision of the Empire & Dynasty interacting; she cares about the people, and it hasn’t been until the vision with the city that she kind of woke up and realized they have to really stop this now. It feels bigger than the Dynasty/Empire. Ashley: “It seems more of a thing for Beau and Caleb to care about.”

Really, up to now Jester was mostly concerned about getting Molly back, but now the stakes seem much higher. “We have to do this. We have to complete this, to beat them, to keep them from doing this.” Yasha is just going with the flow for now. There’s a lot coming at them and they are ready to find out what’s next.

And that’s that for tonight! Brian thanks the crew especially for working incredibly hard on switching everything to home-based streaming. He then gets stuck halfway spinning around in his chair and the last thing we hear is him idly wondering “What’s Fjord taste like?” which seems pretty on brand for tonight’s show. Is it Thursday yet?

#critical role #critical role spoilers #talks machina #talks machina spoilers #long post for ts

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c-is-for-circinate · 4 years

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The Mighty Nein have exactly three ways of dealing with enemies, and that is so fascinating to me.

Befriend. Between Essek and Isharnai, this has been pretty front-and-center lately, but it’s not actually a recent development. The M9 have been cozying up to potential threats and making nice as far back as Zadash, when they first discovered the Gentleman’s operations and then promptly decided to go to work for him. It happens in Hupperdook, when they spend all day swearing bloody murder and hunting down the pickpockets who robbed them, and then promptly adopt four more children and nearly die getting their parents out of prison. It happens in the Bright Queen’s throne room, when they walk into the innermost heart of the nation they’ve been told for fifty sessions is their enemy, and become heroes of the Dynasty. There’s a tribe of giants who owe them their home and their gratitude and a band of no-longer-bandits who owe them their lives and their pants-wetting terror, because sometimes that is just how the M9 roll. There are so few people this party actually has a stake in killing. Monsters, whatever, needs must, but like--who the hell are they to judge? (The first monsters and enemies they ever made friends with, after all, were each other.)

All-out slaughter. When the Nein do decide they really want to kill someone, they fucking go for the jugular. True, murder is pretty standard in D&D, but the Nein often throw both caution and reason out the window when something hits their kill button. This is almost everything about the pirate arc, starting that day in Nicodranas where they tried to talk threateningly to two guys and ended up committing domestic terrorism and then also murdering their way into ownership of a ship, ending that time they got kicked off Pirate Island in less than 24 hours because they decided to rend Avantika asunder the first instant they had the chance. It’s their entire brief enmity with Lorenzo--they would not wait, they would not plan, they would not stop, and they would not under any circumstances, no matter what Matt wanted of planned, let him go. Hell, this is how ‘prank call Essek in the middle of a dinner party’ turned into ‘paralyze, kidnap, and interrogate’ in the first place. This group does not do long games if they can possibly help it.

Absolute avoidance. There are, sometimes, enemies the Nein dislike too much to befriend and aren’t strong enough to kill. U’kotoa. Trent Ikithon. These opponents are relatively rare, because the Nein do absolutely everything player-ly possible to distance themselves from them at every opportunity. Don’t want to unleash an immense immortal sea serpent? Fuck just saying ‘no’, we’re headed to the opposite side of the continent from the ocean, and then we’re going to yeet that magic sword directly into a volcano for good measure. You can’t threaten or blackmail me. This party is very, very good at avoidance on both a personal and collective level. So much of the early game was built around getting the fuck away from the entire concept of war and law in general, once upon a time. They have all of them stayed away from their own families, steering clear around Felderwin and Kamordah until they couldn’t any more, putting off visiting the Menagerie, sleeping on the boat instead of going back to Marion’s for one more night. They run away from their own pasts and selves and inner demons. They are not all entirely fond of mirrors.

The thing is, I’m always so fascinated by the moments when the party seems to surprise or vex Matt by derailing his plans, and while he’s generally so proud of them for it, what I’m thinking about tonight is his endless, futile attempts to give them a fucking nemesis already. I’m thinking about why it just keeps not working. And I think it’s this!

This three-pronged approach to dealing with enemies, avoid-befriend-destroy, is basically a three-step guide to making sure you don’t have enemies any more. In fact, I would say not-having-enemies-anymore is one of the highest priorities the M9 hold, and it has been, almost accidentally, since before the game even started. The M9 have since the very beginning played what I can only describe as an extraordinarily defensive game. They don’t go looking for trouble unless it’s specifically connected to some immediate threat to themselves or someone else. The handful of mercenary contracts they’ve taken have almost universally been about, “hey, let’s do this thing for the Gentleman so he doesn’t decide to mistrust and kill us,” or, “let’s do this thing for the Gentleman so we can get the fuck out of town before they start conscripting to fight the Krynn Dynasty,” or, “hey, let’s do this thing for the Krynn Dynasty so they don’t decide to mistrust and kill us.”

And it’s not about trying to thwart Matt! It’s about a party of characters who are all extremely defensive and avoidant in their own ways. Some of it’s about the sheer trauma of everything to do with Molly, and some of it’s probably about the sheer trauma of everything to do with Vax and Raishan and Anna Ripley and every C1 mistake or villain that ever came back to haunt them, and some of it’s just baked into these new characters. Everyone in this party is so fucking hurt and defensive before they even start. The only thing that’s changed so far is the bit-by-bit careful broadening of their circle of ‘who to protect’ to include each other, and their friends, and maybe more or less half the world.

The one exception here is, of course, Obann, who has them on the ropes for almost 20 episodes--who they could not kill, and tried, and he had Yasha and they could not possibly join or befriend him, and he had Yasha and they could never forgive or ignore him, and he had Yasha and they could not kill him. And the thing is, all I can remember right now is how painful so much of that arc was. Everybody was so desperate. Everybody was so miserable. And still, and still, they could not think how to go around this problem any back way, could not recruit allies or head it off. They could only just distract themselves with brief side quests in hopes that it might help them next time they hurled themselves head-first into trying all-out slaughter again, and again, and again. It wasn’t like the Chroma Conclave. They didn’t back out of the first desperate battle and decide to take the long way around on purpose, to measure and trick and evaluate and gather specific resources and plan. They were so utterly lost. They were so desperate.

I think that probably, Matt’s hope for Essek was indeed that he’d become the party’s long-term nemesis that Lorenzo and Avantika didn’t have the chance to be. I think he was hoping the other night for Essek to get away and leave them all feeling suspicious and betrayed. I think he was hoping a month or two ago that the M9 would head off away from the peace talks and never even find out about Essek until he tried to call in some of those favors for increasingly suspicious things or it all came back around to bite them in the ass. I think he hoped for a very long time, maybe even a year ago when they met Essek in the first place, that this traitorous mole would become their Anna Ripley--the cold dark super-intelligent mirror to their own broken super-intelligent knifeblade of a friend, someone they could loathe and fear and despise and eventually, eventually destroy.

But the M9 don’t do nemeses if they have any way whatsoever to help it. Good luck, Matt. Pretty sure for this crew it is Trent Ikithon and U’kotoa and Tharizdun himself, and absolutely nobody else is big or bad enough for them to actually run up against for more than a single rematch, unless you get real fucking creative.

#CR spoilers #driveby meta attack #critical role

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ladyofasoiaf · 4 years

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Jon ‘One Eye’ & Sansa Stark

In this meta I will try to point out the clues of Jon’s death- warging into his direwolf- coming back to life process.

Our main hint is going to be : ONE EYE motifs...

And interestingly this hint is always close to Sansa...

[Most of these clues etc have been already examined by many people but I will try to put them all in order to show the pattern..]

A GAME OF THRONES:

Waymar Royce

Waymar Royce appearence and story are very similar with Jon’s.

They look similar:

Ser Waymar Royce was the youngest son of an ancient house with too many heirs. He was a handsome youth of eighteen, grey-eyed and graceful and slender as a knife.

[AGOT; Prologue]

Jon’s eyes were a grey so dark they seemed almost black, but there was little they did not see. He was of an age with Robb, but they did not look alike. Jon was slender where Robb was muscular, dark where Robb was fair, graceful and quick where his half brother was strong and fast.

[AGOT; Bran I]

They are both young men of Night’s Watch but they were not very welcomed by their other black brothers:

His cloak was his crowning glory; sable, thick and black and soft as sin. “Bet he killed them all himself, he did,” Gared told the barracks over wine, “twisted their little heads off, our mighty warrior.” They had all shared the laugh. It is hard to take orders from a man you laughed at in your cups, Will reflected as he sat shivering atop his garron. Gared must have felt the same.

[AGOT; Prologue]

“Yes, life,” Noye said. “A long life or a short one, it’s up to you, Snow. The road you’re walking, one of your brothers will slit your throat for you one night.” “They’re not my brothers,” Jon snapped. “They hate me because I’m better than they are.” “No. They hate you because you act like you’re better than they are. They look at you and see a castle-bred bastard who thinks he’s a lordling.” The armorer leaned close. “You’re no lordling. Remember that. You’re a Snow, not a Stark. You’re a bastard and a bully.”

[AGOT; Jon III]

Others are a very important part of Jon’s arc and story and Waymar meets with them in Prologue:

Ser Waymar met him bravely. “Dance with me then.” He lifted his sword high over his head, defiant. His hands trembled from the weight of it, or perhaps from the cold. Yet in that moment, Will thought, he was a boy no longer, but a man of the Night’s Watch.

[AGOT; Prologue]

This phrase also reminds us Jon:

It is more than impatience, Jon realized. They are afraid. Warriors, spearwives, raiders, they are frightened of those woods, of shadows moving through the trees. They want to put the Wall between them before the night descends.

A snowflake danced upon the air. Then another. Dance with me, Jon Snow, he thought. You’ll dance with me anon.

[ADWD; Jon XII]

In Prologue, Waymar gets killed by Others:

Royce’s body lay facedown in the snow, one arm out-flung. The thick sable cloak had been slashed in a dozen places. Lying dead like that, you saw how young he was. A boy.

[AGOT; Prologue]

And Jon dies in ADWD:

Jon fell to his knees. He found the dagger’s hilt and wrenched it free. In the cold night air the wound was smoking. “Ghost,” he whispered. Pain washed over him. Stick them with the pointy end. When the third dagger took him between the shoulder blades, he gave a grunt and fell face-first into the snow. He never felt the fourth knife. Only the cold …

[ADWD; Jon XIII]

But Waymar comes back to life as a wight with ‘ONE EYE’:

Will rose. Ser Waymar Royce stood over him. His fine clothes were a tatter, his face a ruin. A shard from his sword transfixed the blind white pupil of his left eye. The right eye was open. The pupil burned blue. It saw.

[AGOT; Prologue]

So: A young man of Night’s Watch who looks like Jon dies and comes back to life with ONE EYE.

Let’s continue with the second book...

A CLASH OF KINGS:

Orell

Orell is Wildling who is also a skinchanger. His animal is an EAGLE.

Jon kills Orell in ACOK; Jon VI:

Jon nodded toward the one by the fire. It felt queer, picking a man to kill.

[...]

Jon’s man leapt to his feet, thrusting at his face with a burning brand. He could feel the heat of the flames as he flinched back. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the sleeper stirring, and knew he must finish his man quick. When the brand swung again, he bulled into it, swinging the bastard sword with both hands. The Valyrian steel sheared through leather, fur, wool, and flesh, but when the wildling fell he twisted, ripping the sword from Jon’s grasp.

[...]

“You ought to burn them you killed,” said Ygritte.

[ACOK; Jon VI]

But due to the magic of skinchanging, a portion of Orell’s consciousness remained in the eagle, which developed a fierce hatred for Jon.

And in ACOK; Jon VII he dreams of an eagle attacking him and people talk about vargs and skinchangers:

Then a sudden gust of cold made his fur stand up, and the air thrilled to the sound of wings. As he lifted his eyes to the ice-white mountain heights above, a shadow plummeted out of the sky. A shrill scream split the air. He glimpsed blue-grey pinions spread wide, shutting out the sun… “Ghost!” Jon shouted, sitting up. He could still feel the talons, the pain. “Ghost, to me!” Ebben appeared, grabbed him, shook him. “Quiet! You mean to bring the wildlings down on us? What’s wrong with you, boy?” “A dream,” said Jon feebly. “I was Ghost, I was on the edge of the mountain looking down on a frozen river, and something attacked me. A bird… an eagle, I think…”

[...]

“Skinchanger?” said Ebben grimly, looking at the Halfhand. Does he mean the eagle? Jon wondered. Or me? Skinchangers and wargs belonged in Old Nan’s stories, not in the world he had lived in all his life. Yet here, in this strange bleak wilderness of rock and ice, it was not hard to believe.

[ACOK; Jon VII]

So: There is a skinchanger who dies because of Jon but a part of him keeps living in his animal: eagle.

The interesting thing is that between these two Jon chapters (Orell and eagle dream) comes a very important Sansa chapter which has many parallels with Jon VI chapter...

An example of parallels:

[…] ‘All I ask is a flower,’ Bael answered, ‘the fairest flower that blooms in the gardens o’ Winterfell.”

“Now as it happened the winter roses had only then come into bloom, and no flower is so rare nor precious…

[ACOK; Jon VI]

Sansa lowered her head. “The blood frightened me.”

“The blood is the seal of your womanhood. Lady Catelyn might have prepared you. You’ve had your first flowering, no more.”

Sansa had never felt less flowery. “My lady mother told me, but I… I thought it would be different.”

[ACOK; Sansa IV]

For more, please check: Jonsa Book Hints: B5

In this chapter Sansa says she wants to be loved and Cersei warns her that “love kills too...” Next chapter is Jon with his eagle dreams and warging abilities:

A half smile flickered across the queen’s face. “[…]Robert wanted to be loved. My brother Tyrion has the same disease. Do you want to be loved, Sansa?”

“Everyone wants to be loved.”

“I see flowering hasn’t made you any brighter,” said Cersei. “Sansa, permit me to share a bit of womanly wisdom with you on this very special day. Love is poison. A sweet poison, yes, but it will kill you all the same.”

[ACOK; Sansa IV]

Let’s move on to third book...

A STORM OF SWORDS:

Orell and Wargs

In ASOS; Jon I, we learn the name of the Wildling that Jon has killed in ACOK; Jon VI:

“He slew Qhorin Halfhand,” said Longspear Ryk. “Him and that wolf o’ his.”

“And did for Orell too,” said Rattleshirt.

“The lad’s a warg, or close enough,” put in Ragwyle, the big spearwife. “His wolf took a piece o’ Halfhand’s leg.”

[...]

“What’s this?” he said. “A crow?”

“The black bastard what gutted Orell,” said Rattleshirt, “and a bloody warg as well.”

“You were to kill them all.”

“This one come over,” explained Ygritte. “He slew Qhorin Halfhand with his own hand.”

[ASOS; Jon I]

This Jon chapter comes after ASOS; Sansa I.

And these chapters have many parallels such as:

Sansa knelt at the feet of her future queen. “You do me great honor, Your Grace.” “Won’t you call me Margaery? Please, rise. Loras, help the Lady Sansa to her feet. Might I call you Sansa?”

[ASOS; Sansa I]

“I would be pleased to eat, Your Grace. And thank you.”

“Your Grace?” The king smiled. “That’s not a style one often hears from the lips of the free folk. I’m Mance to most, The Mance to some. Will you take a horn of mead?”

[ASOS; Jon I]

For more, please check: Jonsa Book Hints: C1

We also learn about Sansa’s new betrothed: Willas Tyrell..

Willas has a bad leg and so does Jon, in ASOS:

“Willas has a bad leg but a good heart,” said Margaery. “He used to read to me when I was a little girl, and draw me pictures of the stars. You will love him as much as we do, Sansa.”

[ASOS; Sansa I]

If the mare had gone down, he would have been doomed. “A lucky thing my leg got in the way,” he muttered.

He rested for a while to let the horse graze. She did not wander far. That was good. Hobbled with a bad leg, he could never have caught her.

[ASOS; Jon V]

Let’s keep reading...

In ASOS; Jon II chapter Jon’s eagle dream from ACOK comes true and Orell’s eagle attacks Jon’s eye:

He could still hear wings, though the eagle was not in sight. Half his world was black. “My eye,” he said in sudden panic, raising a hand to his face.

“It’s only blood, Jon Snow. He missed the eye, just ripped your skin up some.”

[…]

Can a bird hate? Jon had slain the wilding Orell, but some part of the man remained within the eagle. The golden eyes looked out on him with cold malevolence.

[…]

I will need to get this tended, he thought, but not just now. Let the King-beyond-the-Wall see what his eagle did to me.

[…]

The look Mance gave Jon was grim and cold. “What happened to your face?”

Ygritte said, “Orell tried to take his eye out.”

“It was him I asked. Has he lost his tongue? Perhaps he should, to spare us further lies.”

Styr the Magnar drew a long knife. “The boy might see more clear with one eye, instead of two.”

“Would you like to keep your eye, Jon?” asked the King-beyond-the-Wall. “If so, tell me how many they were. And try and speak the truth this time, Bastard of Winterfell.”

Jon’s throat was dry. “My lord… what…”

[ASOS; Jon II]

Jon almosts loses his ‘one eye’ and becomes Jon ‘One Eye’ Snow because of this attack..

After this eagle attack Jon chapter comes ASOS; Sansa II

And these chapters have many parallels such as:

Jon wheeled and followed Tormund back toward the head of the column, his new cloak hanging heavy from his shoulders. It was made of unwashed sheepskins, worn fleece side in, as the wildlings suggested.

[…]

“I wear the cloak you gave me, Your Grace.”

[ASOS; Jon II]

A new gown?” she said, as wary as she was astonished.

“More lovely than any you have worn, my lady,” the old woman promised. She measured Sansa’s hips with a length of knotted string. “All silk and Myrish lace, with satin linings. You will be very beautiful. The queen herself has commanded it.”

“Which queen?” Margaery was not yet Joff’s queen, but she had been Renly’s. Or did she mean the Queen of Thorns? Or…“The Queen Regent, to be sure.”

[ASOS; Sansa II]

For more, please check: Jonsa Book Hints: C2

And after the chapter of an eagle attacks Jon’s eye we learn in next chapter that Sansa’s betrothed Willas Tyrell flies EAGLES:

“Willas has the best birds in the Seven Kingdoms,” Margaery said when the two of them were briefly alone. “He flies an eagle sometimes. You will see, Sansa.”

[ASOS; Sansa II]

Why is Almost One Eye Jon and Sansa Stark being near to each other important?

Because the first Sansa Stark in Stark family tree was married with her half-uncle Jonnel ‘One Eye’ Stark:

So another Sansa being close to another Stark family member who almost had lost his one eye sounds interesting.

Well, Jon didn’t lose his eye but his face got scarred:

He had almost forgotten about his face. “A skinchanger tried to rip out my eye.”

Noye frowned. “Scarred or smooth, it’s a face I thought I’d seen the last of. We heard you’d gone over to Mance Rayder.”

[ASOS; Jon VI]

Who else has a scarred face? Sansa’s husband- Tyrion Lannister:

“I like your scar.” She traced it with her finger. “It makes you look very fierce and strong.”

He laughed. “Very ugly, you mean.”

“M’lord will never be ugly in my eyes.” She kissed the scab that covered the ragged stub of his nose.

[ASOS; Tyrion II]

Varamyr

What happens to this eagle later?

Skinchanger, Varamyr Sixskins, takes control of Orell’s eagle. Varamyr uses the eagle to scout Castle Black and spots Stannis Baratheon’s arrival at the Wall.

The eagle bursts into flames during the attack on Castle Black with Melisandre claiming she was responsible.

The skinchanger was grey-faced, round-shouldered, and bald, a mouse of a man with a wolfling’s eyes. “Once a horse is broken to the saddle, any man can mount him,” he said in a soft voice. “Once a beast’s been joined to a man, any skinchanger can slip inside and ride him. Orell was withering inside his feathers, so I took the eagle for my own. But the joining works both ways, warg. Orell lives inside me now, whispering how much he hates you. And I can soar above the Wall, and see with eagle eyes.”

[...]

“Banners,” he heard Varamyr murmur, “I see golden banners, oh . . .” A mammoth lumbered by, trumpeting, a half-dozen bowmen in the wooden tower on its back. “The king . . . no . . .”

Then the skinchanger threw back his head and screamed.The sound was shocking, ear-piercing, thick with agony. Varamyr fell, writhing, and the ’cat was screaming too.... and high, high in the eastern sky, against the wall of cloud, Jon saw the eagle burning. For a heartbeat it flamed brighter than a star, wreathed in red and gold and orange, its wings beating wildly at the air as if it could fly from the pain. Higher it flew, and higher, and higher still.

[ASOS; Jon X]

Melisandre burns the eagle. Who else got burned in the books?

Jon Snow in AGOT:

He had burned himself more badly than he knew throwing the flaming drapes, and his right hand was swathed in silk halfway to the elbow. At the time he’d felt nothing; the agony had come after.

[AGOT; Jon VIII]

And Jon burns himself in AGOT; Jon VII:

Jon tried to shout, but his voice was gone. Staggering to his feet, he kicked the arm away and snatched the lamp from the Old Bear’s fingers. The flame flickered and almost died. “Burn!” the raven cawed. “Burn, burn, burn!”

Spinning, Jon saw the drapes he’d ripped from the window. He flung the lamp into the puddled cloth with both hands. Metal crunched, glass shattered, oil spewed, and the hangings went up in a great whoosh of flame. The heat of it on his face was sweeter than any kiss Jon had ever known. “Ghost!” he shouted.

The direwolf wrenched free and came to him as the wight struggled to rise, dark snakes spilling from the great wound in its belly. Jon plunged his hand into the flames, grabbed a fistful of the burning drapes, and whipped them at the dead man. Let it burn, he prayed as the cloth smothered the corpse, gods, please, please, let it burn.

[AGOT; Jon VII]

This Jon chapter comes after AGOT; Sansa IV:

And these two chapters have many parallels such as:

So she went to the queen instead, and poured out her heart, and Cersei had listened and thanked her sweetly … only then Ser Arys had escorted her to the high room in Maegor’s Holdfast and posted guards, and a few hours later, the fighting had begun outside.

[AGOT; Sansa IV]

They took his knife and his sword and told him he was not to leave his cell until the high officers met to decide what was to be done with him. And then they placed a guard outside his door to make certain he obeyed. His friends were not allowed to see him, but the Old Bear did relent and permit him Ghost, so he was not utterly alone.

[AGOT; Jon VII]

Yet somehow it seemed colder with Jeyne gone, even after she’d built a fire. She pulled a chair close to the hearth, took down one of her favorite books, and lost herself in the stories of Florian and Jonquil, of Lady Shella and the Rainbow Knight, of valiant Prince Aemon and his doomed love for his brother’s queen.

[AGOT; Sansa IV]

Yet he was trembling, violently. When had it gotten so cold?

[…] 

Metal crunched, glass shattered, oil spewed, and the hangings went up in a great whoosh of flame. The heat of it on his face was sweeter than any kiss Jon had ever known. “Ghost!” he shouted.

[AGOT; Jon VII]

For more, please check: Jonsa Book Hints: A10

What happens to skinchanger Orell and warg Varamyr after the eagle burst into flames?

The incident greatly affects Varamyr and supposedly kills the remnants of Orell inside the eagle.

After the defeat of the wildlings at the battle beneath the Wall, Varamyr has lost all his possessions in his madness from experiencing the eagle’s death; he has also lost control of his snow bear and shadowcat, but his wolves remain.

[Orell dying completely and Varamyr gets mad also reminds me another resurrected character Beric Dondarrion who also has ONE EYE and him dying for good to bring Catelyn Stark back to life... And like Varamyr, Lady Stoneheart loses her mind too... ]

Let’s move on to fourth book...

A FEAST FOR CROWS:

Jon is not even in this book?

But Sansa is and we learn few things about her crushes:

Waymar Royce:

She had fallen wildly in love with Ser Waymar, she remembered dimly, but that was a lifetime ago, when she was a stupid little girl.

[AFFC; Alayne I]

Grrm reminds us Waymar Royce aka the biggest foreshadowing for Jon in AFFC book via Sansa’s chapter...

Loras Tyrell:

Loras was another crush of Sansa and we learn that he got burned really bad in AFFC.

Like the eagle and Jon.

“Tell me,” said Margaery. “I command it.” Command it? Cersei paused a moment, then decided she would let that pass. “The defenders fell back to an inner keep once the curtain wall was taken. Loras led the attack there as well. He was doused with boiling oil.” Lady Alla turned white as chalk, and ran from the room. “The maesters are doing all they can, Lord Waters assures me, but I fear your brother is too badly burned.”

[AFFC; Cersei VIII]

More about Loras // Jon, please check: Jonsa Book Hints: A8

Let’s keep reading the fifth book...

A DANCE WITH DRAGONS:

In ADWD; Prologue Varamyr encounters with Others (just like AGOT; Prologue) and Varamyr’s body dies, but his mind lives on in his wolf One Eye.

And Varamyr also thinks about Jon and his direwolf..

So we have dead warg who kept living in his animal: A WOLF whose name is ONE EYE.

Varamyr could feel the snowflakes melting on his brow. This is not so bad as burning. Let me sleep and never wake, let me begin my second life. His wolves were close now. He could feel them. He would leave this feeble flesh behind, become one with them, hunting the night and howling at the moon. The warg would become a true wolf. Which, though?

[...]

“They say you forget,” Haggon had told him, a few weeks before his own death. “When the man’s flesh dies, his spirit lives on inside the beast, but every day his memory fades, and the beast becomes a little less a warg, a little more a wolf, until nothing of the man is left and only the beast remains.”

Varamyr knew the truth of that. When he claimed the eagle that had been Orell’s, he could feel the other skinchanger raging at his presence. Orell had been slain by the turncloak crow Jon Snow, and his hate for his killer had been so strong that Varamyr found himself hating the beastling boy as well. He had known what Snow was the moment he saw that great white direwolf stalking silent at his side. One skinchanger can always sense another. Mance should have let me take the direwolf. There would be a second life worthy of a king. He could have done it, he did not doubt. The gift was strong in Snow, but the youth was untaught, still fighting his nature when he should have gloried in it.

[...]

A sleeping direwolf raised his head to snarl at empty air. Before their hearts could beat again he had passed on, searching for his own, for One Eye, Sly, and Stalker, for his pack. His wolves would save him, he told himself. That was his last thought as a man. True death came suddenly; he felt a shock of cold, as if he had been plunged into the icy waters of a frozen lake. Then he found himself rushing over moonlit snows with his packmates close behind him. Half the world was dark. One Eye, he knew. He bayed, and Sly and Stalker gave echo. When they reached the crest the wolves paused.

[...]

The things below moved, but did not live. One by one, they raised their heads toward the three wolves on the hill. The last to look was the thing that had been Thistle. She wore wool and fur and leather, and over that she wore a coat of hoarfrost that crackled when she moved and glistened in the moonlight. Pale pink icicles hung from her fingertips, ten long knives of frozen blood. And in the pits where her eyes had been, a pale blue light was flickering, lending her coarse features an eerie beauty they had never known in life. She sees me.

[ADWD; Prologue]

Jon dies in his last ADWD chapter and his last word was his direwolf’s name: GHOST...

[ADWD; Jon XIII]

So we have a full circle:

It started with Agot; Prologue

and ended with ADWD; Jon XIII

Let’s not forget that Jon’s death was foreshadowed in ASOS; Sansa VI chapter.

Lord Petyr dismissed him with a wave, and returned to the pomegranate again as Oswell shuffled down the steps. “Tell me, Alayne—which is more dangerous, the dagger brandished by an enemy, or the hidden one pressed to your back by someone you never even see?”

“The hidden dagger.”

“There’s a clever girl.” He smiled, his thin lips bright red from the pomegranate seeds.

[ASOS; Sansa VI]

Next chapter was Jon:

Fore more about Jon’s death and Sansa; please check:

Jonsa Book Hints: C12 & E7

“Do not be so certain.” The ruby at Melisandre’s throat gleamed red. “It is not the foes who curse you to your face that you must fear, but those who smile when you are looking and sharpen their knives when you turn your back. You would do well to keep your wolf close beside you. Ice, I see, and daggers in the dark. Blood frozen red and hard, and naked steel. It was very cold.”

“It is always cold on the Wall.”

“You think so?”

“I know so, my lady.”

“Then you know nothing, Jon Snow,” she whispered.

[ADWD; Jon I]

In conclusion:

Jon’s death, him warging into his direwolf during his death and him coming back to life arc has been foreshadowed since AGOT; Prologue and its most obvious hints were given in ADWD; Prologue by echoing AGOT; Prologue.

The ‘ONE EYE’ motif seems like a key hint for his resurrection.

And Sansa is always close to this motif or she has some connections with this motif via other characters or her chapters.

A Sansa Stark being close to another ‘ONE EYE’ Stark is interesting because of the historical couple: Jonnel ‘One Eye’ & Sansa Stark in Stark family tree..

Even the hints of Jon’s death can be found in Sansa chapters.

All of these tell us that Sansa will be important in Jon’s past resurrection story.

Thanks for reading.

Some sources:

Waymar // Jon

Disfigurements

Jonnel / Sansa

Jon’s fate and losing an eye

#jonsa #jon snow #varamyr #orell #jonnel one eye stark #sansa stark #agot #acok #asos #affc #adwd #actually jonsa #jon snow x sansa stark #waymar royce #one eye #meta #mine

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okay-victoria · 3 years

Text

What do people think of Tanya? AKA: Actually, a lot of people agree with Lehrgen

Summary: WHOOOOO BOY. You know it’s going to be fun when my subsections have to have their own subsections. Briefly, there is the Good [people who like Tanya both personally and professionally], the Bad [people who like/love Tanya professionally but not personally], and the Ugly [people who ideally, Tanya will never speak to, look at, send mail to, or be in the general vicinity of ever again].

I would say most people fall into the “Bad” category - they recognize her value as an officer, sometimes to a worshipful degree, but on a personal level range anywhere from thinking she’s a creepy child to actively disliking her. Unfortunately for Tanya, the people that fall into the Ugly category are as a rule higher-ranking than the ones in the Good category, and most people in the Bad category seem to like her specifically in her military role, and it is questionable they’d want her as even a coworker outside of that, let alone as a friend.

The Good

People who’re in here: People who have only ever heard of Tanya in the context of the Silver Wings award, people she interacts with in the Imperial Navy; rando soldiers; someone kinda high up in the later-war Eastern Army command; Ugar

People who only know her from Silver Wings:

V1/C1

Describes the nice aura people would see in someone who wins the Silver Wings.

The Navy

V3/C2

A naval officer does assess Tanya as having a predatory look, but doesn’t seem to think particularly badly of it, he just notes it, and then says “Degurechaff was a fellow soldier he could be proud of, which was why he extended his hand in utmost seriousness to wish her well.”

Rando Soldiers

There’s no real good single quote on this, but over time Tanya comes in to reinforce various units and leaves behind various impressions, ranging through Good, Bad, and Ugly, but anyway, there almost have to be low & middle ranking officers and soldiers who are presumably nothing but grateful to Tanya for rescuing them, even though we never get much of anything from their perspective.

Others

A superior officer of Tanya’s in Eastern Army command, in V5/C1, gets a transfer request for Tanya’s unit and reflects he is sad to be losing her.

Ugar - I don’t have down any specific pieces, but IMO it comes across in the LNs that Ugar is generally well-disposed to Tanya and doesn’t have the positive professional/negative personal thoughts that most other people close to her do.

The Bad

People who’re in here: Tanya’s academy/war college instructors, the 203rd battalion & later Kampfgruppe, Zettour, Rudersdorf, Generic Superior Officers, Romel, Lehrgen’s professional opinion

Tanya’s Academy & War College Instructors:

V1/C1

Tanya’s zeal during academy scares her instructors.

V1/C4

The instructors scrawled “abnormal” across the top of Tanya’s file.

“In the academy, we were told over and over – and, for some reason, over again – to love our troops. Weirdly, now that I think about it, I feel like they emphasized this the most when talking to me.” <= Tanya...you’re...you’re so close.

V1/C5

Mentioned that some teachers in the academy are on Lehrgen’s side of the What The Fuck Do We Do With Tanya debate.

V3/C5

Romel’s summation of her personnel assessment notes that at least on paper, the academy and the war college gave good overall evaluations of her.

203rd Battalion:

V1/C3

[Visha] “The moment she turned her icy cold eyes on us like we were objects to be appraised, I shrank from her in spite of myself. People might laugh at me for being afraid of such a little kid, but those eyes reminded me of the way a cat looks when it’s playing with a mouse, which creeped me out”

[Visha] “I was different from Lieutenant Degurechaff, who could calmly nail fleeing soldiers in the back with optical sniping or explosion formulas. I was relieved because I wouldn’t have to shoot.”

V1/C5

[Visha] “Was she an agent of the devil or of God? It had to be one or the other. Ahh, I can’t believe I have an ally more horrible than the enemy. She’s not human. I would bet my life on it. Me and a few others saw it once. During training, one of our teammates dropped like he was dead. The captain gave him a good kick, and before we knew it, she was back on his feet. I had been staring into the abyss of death myself…the captain heaped abuse on me. But I know, I saw it: she charged into the avalanche to save me. Even after my friends told me that she tossed my busted body aside like a used rag, I believe. She is definitely a good commander, even if I’m not sure about her as a human being. Of course, we all laugh and bad-mouth her…if the captain is an apostle of God, then only the devil can possibly exist.” <= in good news, Tanya, you are currently winning on your quest against Being X and mostly making people believe that he’s the Devil for allowing you to exist!

V2/C1

[Weiss] also refers to Tanya as a vampire

[Weiss] thinks Tanya is arrogant

[Visha] “her thought is That’s so low, Major.” <= this is in response to Tanya pulling out her child voice to announce they were going to bomb Dacia’s factory.

[Weiss] “Weiss has only known her for a short time, but even he can pick up the displeasure his superior doesn’t bother hiding. Her mood is as dangerous as nitroglycerin. When Weiss quietly takes a step back, everyone discreetly follows suit. Nobody wants to be so close to Major von Degurechaff when she’s irritated.”

V2/C5

[Grantz] “If the devil exists, it has to be our instructor, the commander of the 203rd Aerial Mage Assault Battalion, the legendary Major von Degurechaff. The way she smiled. The way she looked at us like we were maggots. The way she seemed thirsty for blood. I’d believe she had tried to kill a rebellious underclassman or crack his skull open. If I screw up on the battlefield, she’ll definitely kill me. That’s how threatened I felt by the instructor who just had to also be my advisor…I wanna cry.”

[Grantz] “This was the major who had once said during a speech at the academy that deadweight should be killed…This is crazy. No one said it aloud, but it was the look on everyone’s faces. This was a nighttime mission to abduct enemy soldiers…Magic Second Lieutenant Warren Grantz realized he was shaking. My survival instinct was screaming. I wanted to avoid the war, the combat, the killing. I was hesitating. But one glance from Major von Degurechaff was enough to subjugate that instinct. She was far more terrifying…I was so terrified I hardly felt like myself anymore…How could the major just calmly sing a hymn?”

[203rd banter] Visha asks if anyone wants to trade places with her so she doesn’t have to be with Tanya all the time, and Weiss and Grantz are not itching to take her up on the offer.

V2/C6

[Grantz] Is really, really bothered by how chill Tanya seems to be about Arene.

V2/C7

[Weiss] Reflects on all the horrible things Tanya has put him through, but ends his reflection on the note that he understands why it was necessary to prepare them for war.

V3/C5

“Apparently, the troops serving directly under her thought she was a great field officer” <= Romel re: Tanya’s personnel file

V4/C5

“‘Please have the 203rd be part of your Kampfgruppe. All of us in the battalion wish to continue serving under you.’”

Tanya doesn’t get what she wants, is then pissed, and it gives off weird abusive-parent vibes where all her children try to flee and not be present, and for the ones who have to be (Weiss & Visha), they take it by flinching, cowering, praying to God for Tanya not to explode, etc.

V5/C4

[Visha] “Reality is far too unreal. She’s crazy. There’s something strange about her...The colonel cackled – no, she giggled, smiling like a child. It was positively surreal to see her eyeing the enemy with her tender gaze and licking her lips. She snickered, but what was so funny? She was terrifying...Dripping red liquid. Pink things that used to be humans, flying everywhere. And opposite that scene was a beaming little girl. It was so surreal, it made more sense for me to suppose I had gone insane. No, maybe I really did go insane. The sight of my superior officer nodding with satisfaction and beginning a confession of her faith was horrific. I didn’t get even a glimmer of madness from her beautiful, innocent eyes. They were the eyes of a stubborn servant of logic, full of pure reason. But that’s what was horrific: those eyes stuck on that doll-like face.”

V5/C5

Tanya has some good banter with her Kampfgruppe soldiers and it seems like everyone’s getting along.

V8/C4

T: ‘Are you saying you throw yourself into the slaughter purely, justly – sane and sober? Don’t make me laugh. That’s a broken man talking. Going to war after downing some liquid courage with a grimace is much more human.’ He frowns for a moment, perhaps thinking to argue back, and then whines, ‘So are you drunk, then, Colonel?’ <= yes, a random officer from Tanya’s Kampfgruppe just asked if she was drunk and that’s why she’s always throwing herself into battle so excitedly.

V8/C5

T: ‘Glad you’re safe, Lieutenant.’ V: ‘Thank you, ma’am. That said, I would have rather you spared me from getting caught up in that attack.’ T: ‘What choice did I have?’ V: ‘What is that supposed to mean?’ Serebryakov puffs her cheeks out in a pout, which is surely a sign that she’s feeling better. <= Tanya, Visha wanted you to apologize, not excuse yourself, damn!

Zettour

V1/C5

“He doesn’t know whether they should praise her original ideas or call her insane.”

“Apparently, she hasn’t forgotten that she once said she wanted a battalion. She, a first lieutenant, to a brigadier general…something liable to provoke antipathy? She’s already done that.”

“The smirk on Tanya’s face reminds Zettour of some unpleasant rumors he’s heard about her.”

V2/C5

Zettour both remains horrified that Tanya was able to speak so frankly about a world war, yet he is sympathetic to the fact that she could do it because she understood what would happen.

V4/C3

Tells Rudersdorf that he “unwaveringly trusts” her military decisions.

V4/C5

Tanya comes to Zettour to request better units than he’s given her. He finds the request beyond arrogant, seeing as how pressed they are for men, especially for the fact that this is shortly after the Moscow situation and her battalion has “gone too far and been a handful”.

“Somehow, he didn’t think there could be that many damaged kids in the Empire like this young teen back from the battlefield. And actually, regardless of how he felt about it as a soldier, personally, the idea of interacting with them was terrifying.”

“But Degurechaff was unfazed and inquired about their experience with killing people. She saw people as products, and she was asking if they had been tested – that was the nuance. Could such a completely utilitarian view of people even be taught? Certainly, the army is an organization that pays attention to individual functions. Substitutability and cost consciousness are two factors hounding everyone. But can you really judge a human being by those criteria alone?...That innocent face and her straight back made her look something like a surreal doll. Doesn’t…Doesn’t anyone think this is strange?”

Zettour is mentioned to have originally had the same doubts about Tanya as Lehrgen, but after her performance he claims he is ready to “swallow any pill, no matter how bitter” (I think working with Tanya being the bitter pill) to win the war.

Zettour gives Tanya a little discretion to commandeer some equipment, she takes a lot of discretion. Zettour sort of laughs at off saying “this was Degurechaff” but does also mention that Tanya’s actions “amounted to a borderline interference in Supreme Command.”

V8/C4

Zettour is impressed with how Tanya has trained Grantz and thinks that if she wasn’t so good in the field, he’d put her in education.

“Sure, Degurechaff may have been broken, but not as an officer.”

Rudersdorf

V2/C1

Rudersdorf says that Tanya has a “distinct” [read: probably means difficult] personality, but if he just divided people into useful and not useful, she was useful.

V4/C3

Zettour and Rudersdorf debate Tanya, and he mentions that he only thinks she is talented in the military realm.

Generic Superior Officers

V2/C5

Tanya has a misunderstanding with her CO on the Rhine front. He wants her to train some new recruits normally, she mistakes it as saying “well, kill as few of them as possible, but do what you gotta do,” she gets kind of reprimanded over it.

V3/Intro

“Performance Evaluation: Major Tanya von Degurechaff:

Counselor’s Notes on character and conduct [this is printed normally]: Abundant loyalty and excellent fighting spirit. Follow regulations to the letter. Devoutly religious.

[this part is handwritten] Has a bad tendency to take matters into her own hands. Competent but as difficult to handle as a mad dog.”

V3/C1

“Some of the officers even added another thought in the back of their minds: Major von Degurechaff might actually be able to wring out even better results.”

V3/C3

Tanya goes wild on her base commander when he won’t let her sortie to Brest to prevent the French army from evacuating. <= Oddly, IIRC, no one ever like, apologizes to Tanya for not believing her, which is kinda rude, so mostly the incident reflects negatively on her instead of being a balanced: ok she did violate some rules, but...maybe if we’d listened to her we’d have avoided the rest of the fucking war, so seems like it might have been called for?

V3/C5

“The most important evaluations during a war are the ones from the battlefield, and those were all over the place.” <= Romel, re: Tanya’s personnel file

“The second was that although the evaluations were contradictory, she had achieved enough that she was considered an outstanding soldier. Awkwardly, regardless of how she was as an officer, as an individual mage, she was thought very highly of. Her number of kills was among the highest on the Rhine front.”

“In any case, strictly as a mage, she was unrivaled. As an officer, too, she was by no means incompetent. So they must have been giving her to him as reinforcements and as an excuse to get her out of their hair. Honestly, he felt like they were foisting off their problem on him. ‘They’re telling me to take a mad dog out on a walk with no leash?’ He let slip a complaint. Maybe it was just prejudice, but that wasn’t what it felt like to General von Romel. After all, he was basically being asked to bet on a bad hand.”

V4/C2

Everyone on the General Staff realizes the huge amount of fallout from Tanya attacking Moscow. The backstory of this is that when Tanya asked for permission, the General Staff thought she was just going to do a fly-by and freak them out, not attack the city. It pretty much kills any opportunity they had to negotiate a quick settlement with Russia in the cradle.

Romel

V3/C5

Romel’s first meeting with Tanya pretty much goes: “so arrogant it’s invigorating...unbelievably insolent...in addition to her self-important attitude, it exuded heavy sarcasm...not only was she arrogant, she was clearly horribly warped.”

“Any commissioned officer would understand just from hearing her make that one comment why the Northern and Western Groups couldn’t control her. Having a mage battalion drop out of the command structure was almost like losing a whole division” <= ie, Tanya’s previous superiors must have really disliked her to give her up.

“She simply decided she would be a patriot if it was good for the nation. In short, she’s a capable lunatic, but the bad part is she doesn’t realize she’s twisted…She’s crazy. And competent. And more sincere than anyone I’ve ever known.”

“Without a doubt, she’s going to end up being the most horrible person I know. And she’ll probably also be one of my most reliable friends on the battlefield.”

V3/C6

Romel reflects that she is a mad dog, and that she is an ego-crushing entity for the average officer. <= while Romel never brings this up, this has a *ton* of important real-world implications for Tanya, especially assuming men still have more than a little trouble listening to women outside the military. Even if you believe the best rumors about Tanya, you still might not want to hire her because she’s going to be better than you, and most people hate that feeling.

V4/C1

Tanya goes to the Eastern Front, and Romel reflects that he is sad to lose her and that once you got used to her, he found her easy to work with.

The Ugly

People who’re in here: Lehrgen’s personal opinion, Some wartime randos, OG Eastern Army Command, OG Northern Army Command, Imperial Government, people who mostly know Tanya from her Arene reputation, Western Army Command; Implied Future View of Tanya

Wartime Randos

V1/C5

“Some of those who had been on the front lines had a strange reaction to the name [the 11th Goddess] we picked. They claimed it was the worst joke they’d ever heard.” <= ie, Tanya was the Devil, not a goddess

V2/C1

Tanya is happy that Dacia has zero airpower. She displays her happiness by smiling maniacally and skipping around her tent. Everyone thinks Tanya is happy that they just got invaded again and the war is growing and she can go kill people.

V2/C5

A kinda random infantry guy is still having nightmares about Tanya in like, 1960, and reflects back on how he felt when he heard Tanya casually call for friendly fire to go right through where her men are flying. He questions why anyone listens to her.

“But when I replay the memories in my mind, I can’t help but shout, You monster! A hero, a star, and outstanding magic officer. You, ma’am, were a great officer. To all of us imperial soldiers serving on the Rhine lines, you were a god...Yeah, she’s a god – an immensely powerful one who presides over life and death. Her words, brimming with a spine-chilling anger, swept over the area as if she was planning to attract all the enemy hostility like moths to a flame. Major von Degurechaff had bared her fangs. It invited a violent reaction. The Republic wanted to hunt the devil. In other words, they devoted all humanity’s wisdom to killing the god of death. Gods don’t die, but those of us next to them? …They were right to call her a god of death. She killed the enemy, and the enemy killed our men. Then the noble major, with a glance at all the dead in the mud, took her leave. Fucking hell.” <= and you thought Lehrgen hated her. But, again, real-world implications of this could very well be that post-war, Tanya is a total persona-non-grata as someone that had a high degree of influence on how rabidly everyone fought against the Empire, and how the Empire was treated in the aftermath. I don’t make it out quite that bad, but it could be really rough if someone wanted to make it that way.

V4/C5

“The Guard Division had been on many assignments dealing with formal events, so we had experience…But what is that? That absurd, expressionless, doll-like creature was giving orders to people who appeared to be bloodthirsty mages just back from the war zone.”

“Could it really…could it really be possible for a child to wear such a smile?...Her hands were soft and would have looked more natural holding a doll, but instead, this odd, human-shaped creature spread her arms as she delivered a welcoming address. No one. None of the high-ranking officers present could raise an objection to this thing. The veteran mages all obeyed this inhuman being in the form of a person.”

OG Eastern Army Command

V1/C5

“The members of the eastern army had been openly angered by her annoyed look until days before, but now their faces were pale. She said exactly what she thought: ‘Incompetent, pitiful, lazy, arrogant, unprepared, mentally disabled, inattentive, no powers of observation’ and her conclusion was that ‘all mages of the Eastern Army group require reeducation’”

“The ranking officers from the regional field armies who had come to protest ended up bearing the brunt of the General Staff members’ critical glares.”

OG Northern Army Command

V2/C3

“With no idea when Colonel General von Wragell might explode in his seat at the head of the table, Lieutenant General and Chief of Staff von Schreise was inwardly annoyed, but at the same time, the atmosphere was so tense he wanted to bury his head in his hands.”

“Schreise couldn’t be the only one thinking that he would have thrown her out immediately if she weren’t a representative of the Central Army’s view.”

“‘You’re very humble, aren’t you?’ one of the staff officers murmured, curling the corners of his mouth into a smile that was more of a sneer.”

“Schreise had never seen a major with such a big head without making light of him…without hesitating even a little, she – a mere battalion commander – matter-of-factly gave her opinion to the staff and even had the audacity to disagree with them. Even with the sacred, inviolable General Staff’s power behind her, she was nearing an inexcusable challenge to authority. A head could be allowed to swell only so far. There’s a limit to what can be tolerated, even for recipients of the Silver Wings Assault Badge!...the major, though still rather new, was readily crossing a line of which all graduates from the war college should have been aware.”

V3/C5

“There was a pile of especially severe criticism from the Northern Army Group. They said she was transferred after voicing a clear objection to those in authority.”

Imperial Government

V2/C5

Tanya sinks a Commonwealth vessel, she is court-martialed, the military says she did nothing wrong [which I agree with], but the diplomats want to punish her to appease the Commonwealth. After the not-guilty verdict, Tanya’s smug-ass smile makes everyone go: umm...should we really have let her get away with this??

V4/C2

She then further makes the diplomats hate her over her Moscow raid.

V4/C3

Rudersdorf warns Zettour that Tanya going overboard is earning Zettour criticism from the government.

V4/C4

During her second court-martial, Tanya doing the most in Moscow manages to fracture the relationship between the government/supreme army command & the guys more in charge of the day-to-day war, like Zettour & Rudersdorf.

International Post-Hoc View on Arene

V2/C6

“They gunned people down like they were so many targets in a firing exercise. They got ‘points’ for shooting people. People had blocked themselves in, so they used heavy-explosion formulas to bombard whole districts. Those are all painful memories of the tragedy being shared today. Even counting only the confirmed deaths, the city of Arene lost half its population that day. In order to avoid the heavy responsibility for each soldier that would result if they went into the city and had to visually confirm their targets, they aimed to cause widespread fires via artillery bombardment from positions surrounding the city. A portion of the documents shows that they had chosen targets that were likely to spread the flames as proof-of-concept for firestorm.” <= the reporter doesn’t know this, but Tanya is the person that comes up with that proof-of-concept for creating a firestorm, as well as the person that creates the case to make it legal to repress a civilian revolt with a military. To me it seems like Arene is presented as the Tanyaverse Bombing of Dresden, except how it would be viewed if Germany had won WWII.

Tanya thinks about how if the Empire loses, her reputation is in the toilet if it becomes known that she did this.

Western Army Command

V2/C6

[The Lt. General or above that is in command of the Western Front] “A terrifying report or a proposal from hell. The one who thought of this was either a lawyer so cunning the devil would invite them to join forces or a criminal. This way of thinking is practically inhuman. Only a devil who forgot their reason and conscience in their mother’s womb could come up with such a tactic. That someone would equate having the technical capabilities for an operation with actually doing it…Are they deranged?”

“Luckily, an army corps commander summoning a mere major is extremely rare. Exceptional though it was, it meant there was a chance he might have to summon this monster again someday…Doing his best not to look directly at the monster straightening her posture in front of him, the army corps commander accepted that it was for work and met her.”

“The principles behind the actions of this major in front of him were impossible to understand using anyone’s logic or emotions. Her inorganic eyes compelled you to conclude that her thoughts, her frameworks, her way of being were all warped.”

This guy keeps going on and on more than I have here, tbh he’s one of Tanya’s main haters. It’s fine Tanya, it’s only the guy in charge of Western Army Command, who listens to him?

“I hope no one noticed that I just flinched, thought the army corps commander, sensing that he was distinctly afraid of her…No worries about what? He deeply wanted to ask what she was planning to do, but he held back. He told himself it was surely better not to know…But there is probably no one more suited to being a soldier than you. Perhaps you feel at home in hell on the Rhine front.”

V3/C5

“The Western Army Group declined to evaluate her, saying her good and bad points neutralized each other, so it was difficult to rate her. Furthermore, she had attempted to resist orders.”

Implied Future View of Tanya/The Parable of the Salamander

V4/C5

“From what I heard, the Salamander is adorable and very clever. If you show it affection, it’ll get attached to you. Like a German shepherd, it can become a trustworthy member of the family. Sometimes it begs or plays tricks, but apparently, everyone ends up overlooking these things. Of course, Mrs. Legen grew angry and screamed that it went too far, but…Well, in the end, everyone doted on the Salamander. Because when it’s even more reliable than a German shepherd, how could you not? At some point, though, the Salamander’s requests and pranks grew to be too much. But what do you think happened when no one was sympathetic to dependable Mrs. Legen, who had continued to angrily scold it the whole time? That’s right. No one was able to stop the Salamander! Of course, the Salamander loved and cherished everyone. But sadly, there was no one to teach it right from wrong. So the Salamander never realized that everyone disliked it. Soon it had exhausted everyone’s patience.” <= for reference, Tanya commands the Salamander Kampfgruppe; this is told as a cautionary tale that Andrew says circulates throughout the future Empire.

Your Author’s Take on Tanya’s Reputation vs Reality

The above should have real-world implications for Tanya’s personal life as far as friends, and for her career both within and beyond the military once the war is over, because, you know, people talk. Anyone who phones up an old pal because said old pal had some quality time with Tanya and they’re curious what she’s like is probably not going to receive a glowing personal recommendation, and the higher up those people are in society, the worse it is likely to be.

Even for people who think she has a genius applicable beyond the military sphere, outside of extreme circumstances people generally don’t want to employ anyone, no matter how smart, who is known for being unpredictable, uncontrollable, arrogant in the extreme, abusive towards coworkers, manipulative, possibly just straight up evil, etc etc. Within the military, after the war I would expect her to be hampered by the fact that a lot of people won’t want to work with her unless there’s a really pressing reason they need her skillset.

I can’t believe I’m bringing this show up from years past, but she’s sort of in the same position as Dr. House from the TV show - famously talented; famously toxic in the workplace; only one place will employ him, and at a much lower salary than his reputation should command, and even so, thinking that he could get away with that in real life is pushing the suspension of disbelief for the show. The same goes with friendships - very few well-adjusted adults are willing to befriend The Cool Asshole in real life.

When it does happen IRL, those relationships usually aren’t healthy & happy, and can easily end up with borderline-emotionally-abusive undertones because the follower is afraid of losing the leader, and molds themselves to fit what the other person wants so as to be an unchallenging, uncritical presence in the life of their idol.

For a story about an adult man reincarnated as a young girl fighting in magical WW1.5, YS manages to put a surprisingly interesting twist on the Main Character is a Cool Asshole Without Consequences model, with Tanya getting away with it in the present due to extreme circumstances, not realizing that the war is the only reason she’s getting away with it, and facing many implied future consequences for it.

While it’s entirely possible and often completely necessary to handwave Tanya overcoming this for storytelling purposes, as you can’t go many places story-wise if Tanya is as screwed as it sounds like she’s going to be, standard reality is that she’s gonna need to do some serious legwork to dig herself out of the hole she’s in, both personally and professionally.

I appreciate that the crux of a good Tanya story is often Tanya thinking normal reality will apply to her but then bypassing normal reality to end up somewhere she never intended on being, much to her chagrin, and readers therefore may feel adhering to realism violates the reality of Tanyaverse.

For the purposes of this story, I have chosen to stick with where the preponderance of evidence leads and apply a good amount of normal reality to Tanya, because that is exactly what allows me to proceed along a different avenue of Tanya misunderstanding things and ending up somewhere she never intended on being, keeping to the spirit of Tanya stories. Plus, Tanya doesn’t seem very intent on growing as a person in the absence of consequences and I need my character growth drivers.

...and I can’t avoid admitting I still end up handwaving some portion of those consequences for Tanya, since, as stated above, it’s...hard to go anywhere with a story if you don’t.

#LN Reference

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your-turn-to-role · 4 years

Note

Feralness of the NPCs? If you like.

this one took me a bit longer, because as critrolestats calculated a couple months ago, across both campaigns, matt has over a thousand npcs, and we'd be here all year if i had to rank all of them 😂

but in my attempt to brainstorm all significant npcs from both campaigns (though i'm sure i'm forgetting someone i'm gonna immediately remember as soon as i post this), i've got gilmore, allura, kima, jarett, kaylie, cassandra, kynan, artagan, kiri, essek, dairon, orly, yeza, and pumat sol, so i can do those guys!

(not including villains, figures we don't know much personal about like the bright queen, or guest pcs, because they're still technically pcs. also not splitting by campaign because allura and artagan appear in both)

1 - kaylie motherfucking shorthalt. i adore her so much, and she is feral as fuck. granted, she's highly competent feral, she's good enough at the flute to challenge scanlan, and good enough at the violin to be a professional fiddler (which, i reiterate, takes so much dedication to learn), and aes adan/the meat man definitely didn't become as powerful as he did all because of scanlan. but also, is a thief and a conman and will 100% get in a bar fight with just about anyone, absolutely unafraid to speak her mind, and her approach to meeting her father for the first time was to work out all her grudges by trying to kill him with a knife. see also - her epilogue was deciding to finish the schooling she dropped out of, but at a really fancy academy so she could prove she's better than all the rich kids, just really rub it in their faces. i so wish i could have seen it.

2 - kima will fight you. kima will fight anyone. i don't know why all the short girls in cr are so feral, but like literally all of them are just pure feral condensed into three feet of girl, i love them. kima is no different, except she has a dragon god on her side and also is very gay and she's great

3 - artagan. now, feral in large part constitutes an unwillingness or inability to play by the rules of a functioning society, and that's all artagan's about. show him a rule and he will run the other direction until he feels safe and then come back invisibly and use that rule to fuck with people. he has the chaos part down too, and i was almost gonna put him in first place. however, feral also implies something of a willingness for violence, and artagan doesn't really have that? like he does to an extent, but in the words of mr matthew mercer, "even the nicest of fey are weird and have their dark sides". and as far as fey go, artagan has been shown to care about people a lot more than he's ever wished them harm. like he's still feral, because he's an archfey and the entire feywild is feral. but like... relatively tame feral. give the boy a pen and some paper and he'll leave you alone.

4 - kiri. she's adorable, and is baby, but is also a bird with a knife whose catchphrase has more or less become "go fuck yourself!". i love her.

5 - orly's pretty chill. but also, let's be real, there's a limit to how non-feral a tortle sailor and tattoo artist with bagpipes fused into his shell can be. also is just generally down for whatever illegal antics the m9 feel like getting up to

6 - cassandra. i debated for a while about putting her higher, because there's definitely an argument to be made for that, but you do have to take into consideration how well put together and fancy she is at nearly all times. however. cassandra at no more than maybe 13 was the only person to not get caught in the briarwood attack, rescued her brother from the dungeon where they were torturing him and keeping the bodies of her other siblings, guided him out, got nearly murdered, and lived in a whitestone full of zombies and villains and vampire mind control for five years. she's feral under the surface, she's had to be

7 - jarett. god i love jarett, i forgot about him last time someone asked me my fave c1 npcs but he's the best. anyway, captain of their guard, good at fighting, terrible liar, Definitely Has Never Dealt Drugs Before, will go kill a dragon with you. but like, as long as you're paying him. he's doing this for money, not just out of base feral instinct. Probably Needs A Break.

8 - dairon taught beau and earned her respect somehow, so you know they're at least a little feral. but also, widely respected expositor of the cobalt soul, competent spy, and at least moderately capable of keeping beau in line, so that knocks down their feralness level a fair bit

9 - essek is a fancy boy, and definitely is beholden to a lot of rules. the whole floating thing shows that, like, he's pretty damn far from feral for most of the time he's in rosohna. but i debated who was higher between all the wizards for a while, and i think just because essek is (or at least was) neutral evil and is so driven by his hunger for knowledge and to explore the darker parts of dunamancy, that does push him up the feral scale a little bit. there's very little essek wouldn't do when it comes to discovering secrets. (also, you know, his entire job as the shadowhand, we've seen involves some fucked up stuff, so he's far from squeamish or naive in that sense)

10 - allura is a wizard and a politician and a fancy person and generally rather chill. but as far as the wizards go, wins second most feral because she's been an adventurer. she took down thordak the first time. casually reminisces about how weird all adventuring groups are when vox machina are like licking the weird powder they found in the necromancer dungeon and mentions she was like that too. girl's seen some shit

11 - pumat is not an adventurer, and has no wish to be, and on the whole, is not feral at all. but also, pumat swole.

12 - kynan, wants to be feral? and then was, kinda, for a bit, and then severely regretted it. has had his moments, but on the whole is a Soft Boy

13 - gilmore. we're definitely getting to the definitively Not Feral end of the scale now. i mean, points for crushing a man to death with his mind, also points for "if you could find a way for me to become a dragon, that would be sexy". but gilmore is extremely concerned at all times with putting on that charming and excited mask, he puts a lot of value on his image and practically nothing will get him to tarnish it (even when thordak nearly killed him and he was still barely hanging on, he tried to use prestidigitation to make himself look better, like... those walls run deep). is also just a really genuinely nice person, cares a lot about people, is very empathetic, and again, refuses to show negative emotion if it will hurt someone else in any way. it's hard to imagine shaun gilmore as feral in any way, and if he did get close to that, it wouldn't be in front of other people

14 - yeza. now, points for the slightly mad scientist vibe yeza's got going on, it seems to be veth's type. but also, veth has 100% of the feral in this relationship and they both know it

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numbaoneflaya · 3 years

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You can count on me to pull up with a thousand of questions sbdhdh. A3, A22, C5, D3, F3 for Jilly ; A18, A23, B9, C1, H2 for Nirn ; A5,B9, C8, D1, I5, for Thurwen ; A9, A13, C1, E8, and G6 for Valkya? 😏

A3, A22, C5, D3, F3 for Jilly ;

A3.Do they have any emotional or psychological conditions? Are they aware of it? Do they try to treat it?

Shawty got that stockholm syndrome in a way. She is…. Sometimes aware of it, though she wouldn't call it that any more. Maybe at first in the basement she was more aware, but now that she can come and go she thinks its a thing of the past. tries not to dwell on it. Kind of in a “well its literally not that bad its kind of fun its kind of romantic were just quirky <3” way, will get mad if someone insists she has stockholm or that the relationship is fucked. Will get enraged and upset on Vincent's behalf, probably cry and yell at you.

A22. Is your OC intended to be found generally attractive? Unattractive? Average? Is there a reason why?

I intended her to be fairly average, maybe kind of cute. It's generally the way she dresses/acts in public that draws attention, not her looks. I tend to make most of my ocs on the average scale besides a select few.

C5. Do your OC’s morals and rules of common decency go out the window when it comes to those they don’t like, or when it’s inconvenient? Aka, are their morals situational?

Good question…. Jillys morals are pretty simple- always be kind and nice, murder and hurting other people is bad, and you shouldnt lie. She sticks to those pretty strictly herself despite the situations she gets put in, often to her own detriment. But she doesn't always put a stop to those behaviors from the people she surrounds herself with, so she's sort of accomplice to bad acts of violence just by not snitching. So somewhat situational? She tries not to think about it.

D3. How comfortable are they with the idea of death?

Not comfortable! She hadn't seen a lot of it before her early twenties and was always sort of sheltered. dead fish are flushed down the toilet bcs they go to the ocean to live again, right? Thought cows and such all died of old age peacefully before they were made into burgers until she was like… twelve. 💀Won't kill mice and other critters despite her prey drive bcs she would feel too bad. And this is just for animal death, she's much more uncomfortable with human death. Also a thing she tries to ignore.

F3. Could they ever live in a “tiny home”?

God no. She hates small spaces unless she's hiding in them and tiny homes have no room for all the shit she stashes! No room for zoomies, or climbing on the furniture, or wrestling around on the floor. It would be filled with junk within a week.

A18, A23, B9, C1, H2 for Nirn ;

A18. Do they get jealous easily? Do they feel bad if they do?

He's never had much to be jealous of, as he's never really been over involved in romantic relationships. They were usually mutually beneficial and somewhat clinical in nature. Hes also pretty sure of himself and his value as an asset and lover. If he finds someone who peaks his interest and they become an item though, he might get jealous if he catches them flirting with other people. Hell be peeved at first but know flirtation in business has its value, so to make himself feel better might flirt with someone else while they are nearby. Make a game of it, see who wins.

A23. Does your OC place much importance on their appearance? Do they feel confident in it?

Appearances are crucial to him and spends a lot of time and money making sure he looks his best. He needs to appear above the rabble and impenetrable, dressing well and having immaculate posture and an air of both grace and otherworldliness.

B9. What kind of humor does your OC like the most? Slapstick, ironic, funny sounds, scare pranks, xD sO rAnDoM…

Definitely not one to find fart jokes funny. Very rarely laughs genuinely or full heartedly, he keeps all his expressions of emotion close to his chest. Sharp sardonic wit is appealing to him in the right circumstances, even a jab directed at himself can make him chuckle if it's well formed enough. Irony almost always gets him, even if its dark irony or gallows humor. Bit of a hard nut to crack. Would laugh enough that hed have to cover his mouth with his hand if he were to see Felix fall face first into mud, though. More often than not you can tell he finds something amusing by a gleam in his eyes and a slight squint.

C1. Does your OC have a moral code? If not, how do they base their actions? If so, where does it come from, and how seriously do they take it?

Well he used to have a real moral code :/. Now I mean…. The ends justify the means. By any means necessary. He considers his family's needs first, then the good of the world, then any individual in the world. Has ordered executions of entire families, had babies stolen and sent away, sent armies to certain death knowing full well they would all die, commanded individuals be tortured for information, sacrificed many in what he considers to be a game of chess where he is the player and others are the pawns. He finds senseless violence and savagery to be unforgivable, but if violence has a sense and purpose to employ it, then he will do so.

H2. Is your OC a thoughtful partner, in whatever aspect of that you want to cover?

Nirn tends to be a very thoughtful and attentive person in general, just for the wrong reasons lmaoooo. But with a lover? He's going to be utilizing that to show them how much he cares and using his powers for good. Mention you like a certain fabric while shopping one time and then complain your favorite tunic has a wine stain in it several months later, he's going to be taking your measurements for a new one in your preferred material without a moment's notice. Very keen on picking up moods, expressions and tone. Also has a very good memory. He doesn't really think about it but gifts are how he shows his love. Also a great attentive listener.

A5,B9, C8, D1, I5, for Thurwen ;

A5. Are they good at handling change in their life?

I would say so, yeah. Shes been used to things constantly changing since she was little and has had little to no control on outside influences. Shes also not one to over think about the past and lament, shes more of a one foot in front of the other, the only time is the present kind of gal. Of course large changes like becoming a warden were a bit more severe, but shes mostly able to think in the present as long as she has immediate problems to deal with.

B9.What kind of humor does your OC like the most? Slapstick, ironic, funny sounds, scare pranks, xD sO rAnDoM…

Slapstick is always gonna make her laugh as long as nobody gets seriously hurt, even if its her own ass tripping into a tree. Not a fan of scare pranks, 0/10 recommend trying to scare Thurwen. You will end up with a broken nose at best and an angry elf. Likes puns, but she's the one to groan at them and try and hide the grin spreading across her face. Gallows humor but only if its her in the gallows, otherwise doesn't find it funny at all. If a little kid calls someone a fartcicle she will be tears in the eyes giggling, which is hard when your warden commander and everyone looks toward you to be serious and mature gyshsdhdfsghsd.

C8. Is your OC more practical or ideal morally? I.e., do they hold people to high expectations of behavior even if it’s not realistic for the situation, or do they have a more realistic approach and adapt their morality to be more practical?

She definitely holds herself to moral ideals and is very hard on herself, but has realistic moral expectations for others. She can understand self serving and people only wanting to survive and she will only give people a little bit of shit for it, no one's perfect. But then she expects herself to be perfect and berates herself constantly for not living up to the hero of ferelden warden commander ideals.

D1. How religious is your OC? What do they practice, if anything? If they don’t associate with any religion, what do they think of religion in general?

Atheist ever since her mom died when she was a kid, but now Shes in a weird mixed state ever since the urn of sacred ashes where shes like. fuck the maker, but Andraste is cool I guess. So respects/believes in the power of Andraste while thinking the maker is a piece of shit and the chantry sucks ass. Even she doesnt know what she really believes, but she did see the ghosts of Andrastes disciples and Shartan, used her ashes as healing salve, killed an old god, etc. So shes been in a weird place recently, crisis of faith/non faith pretty continual.

I5. Are they a good cook?

I mean…. She can cook basics. Shes been feeding herself and the alienage kids since she was old enough to walk so she knows how to get protein and make things edible. Does it taste good? Probably not. She didnt see her first spice till she was 17 years old, but she can skin a rabbit in seven seconds.

LA9, A13, C1, E8, and G6 for Valkya? 😏

A9. Does your OC make a lot of excuses? For themselves? Others?

She tries to excuse bad behavior of herself or others a lot, yeah fgdgdsfhdhs. Mostly she doesnt have to make excuses for herself because she can wholeheartedly be like “yeah i fucked up but whatever im sexy and large and awesome and everyone loves me 🙄whatever baby” and when other people fuck up shes pretty sympathetic even though they are not as large nor as sexy. Shes very used to forgiving and excusing herself its totally alien to her when she really fucks up and is suddenly like wait… valkya…. Did bad?? What is this feeling. Shame?? Guilt?? IMPOSSIBLE.

A13. Does your OC have any phobias? If so, where did they come from?

She hates those giant bugs in morrowind and valenwood a whole fucking lot but I wouldnt exactly place it as a phobia. Those huge mosquitoes and haorvers got no respect but she really hates the morrowind bugs ever since they knocked her over and jumped her while she was pants down peeing drunk as hell in the sand :/ never forgave. Never forgot.

C1. Does your OC have a moral code? If not, how do they base their actions? If so, where does it come from, and how seriously do they take it?

She was raised in a healthy household that tought the basics, prety much “harming others needlessly, stealing, torture, rape, dessecrating the dead, being selfish and not doing right by others, etc etc all basic bad things” are her morals. Her morality is basically treat others how you want to be treated. And if they treat you badly, then have fun beating the shit out of them to show everyone else not to fuck with you. Its a pretty nordic morality in that way. Her morality is also since she was ‘blessed’ with being so large and strong, that she has to also look out for the little guy who cant protect themselves. So If someone treats them how valkya wouldn't want to be treated, then beat the shit out of the person harming them to show them the little guys got backup. Her parents raised her to be a hero and thats p much how she sees herself, which has its benefits and its fuckin problems.

E8. What’s one of your OC’s biggest regrets?

Fucking up Dem and Dariens relationship for sure dude :/ valkya always gonna be sulking over that one. She doesnt regret becoming a vestige, even though it would have made her so much happier not to be because it ended up saving so many people and the world. She regrets not spending more time with Naryu, regrets always having other life saving business she had to run off to, regrets not cherishing the time they had together. Regrets not telling Lyris how she feels, either. Regrets not being able to save as many people as she should have, regrets she wasnt stronger in coldharbor and didnt break out herself. But she tries not to think about it <3

G6. Do they have any favorite childhood memories?

When she was seven she once spent two months training to hold her breath underwater, because her cousin always held it longer and won the gold bet. She trained for hours almost drowning in the river until she could comfortably hold it for up to three minutes. During the next holiday when they all got together again the competitions were on and they both went under- her cousin won, holding their breath for four more minutes before they decided to come up. This was the first lesson she learned that shocked her world view- you always need to know your opponents capabilities. (after she lost 26 gold in the bets, her mother later had to inform her that her cousin was an argonian.)

#thank u beloved this was good to go thru while in class when i should have been paying attention gfhsdhds #valkya #jilly #nirn #thurwen #the ladies and the gilf #presented without evidence; valkya be stupit kinda :/#HOW DO U DO URS SO FAST... SUPER POWERS

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vigilantegetawaydriver · 4 years

Text

Definition Forbidden C1

Frank castle slightly x oc

word count: 2.1k

warnings : violence, other stuff, no smut I think there might be fluff

summary: Amy's adoptive sister and Frank only have one thing in common, and that's keeping Amy save. They don't get along really well.

Rose groaned as she sat up from the couch she`d been sleeping on, and was happy to see Frank hadn`t come back yet. She got up, quietly as not to wake Amy who was peacefully sleeping on the only bed the trailer had.

She made herself a cup of hot brew and ate this protein bar that was laying on the counter.

Then changed into her workout clothes and did some pushups, and pullups at the doorframe leading to the kitchen, all while trying not to be too loud.

As she was doing a set off pull ups she heard Franks voice from the outside, announcing his arrival.

She opened the door and told him to keep quiet , because of Amy , ignoring the fact that he was covered in blood beneath his jacket yet again. Frank let out a grunt as answer and made his way to the bathroom,

to probably tend to his wounds. Meanwhile Rose started doing her last set of push ups, while listening to the frustrated sounds Frank made.

She decided to ask if he needed help, so she went to the bathroom door and knocked :"You sound like you could use some help, I know we`re not exactly besties but yea I just want you to know Im here if you need help."

She waited a few seconds, Frank had gone totally silent since she had spoken. She was about go when the door to the bathroom opened. As she stepped inside she could see that Frank had taken off his shirt and was apparently trying to stitch up a nasty cut at his lower back.

She immediately reached for the wet cloth that was laying on the counter and the rubbing alcohol, and started cleaning his wound with it.

"How the fuck does that happen?" She asked while preparing to stitch the cut. "Didn`t wear my vest

and one of those fuckers jumped at me from behind." He flinched as she started stitching.

"He wouldn`t have gotten the jump at you if I had been there to back you up Castle." At that he visibly tensed "Yea right what would you have done? Shot him?

killed a man?" Now Rose was pissed too, at his total disregard of her abilities "You`re damn right I would have shot him, and you fucking know it, you know I`m a goddamn good sniper." He flinched as she angrily forced the needle to

go in. After a moment he said" Yea you keep tellin yourself that, and maybe it`s gonna happen, but I ain`t seen you shoot any weapon before kid." Rose kept her composure and responded passive aggressively

"Yea because you don`t just go off shooting at random things, and you just don`t want any help because you hope that you get killed right? So you can finally die, well let me tell you something Castle, I don`t like you I don`t give a shit

if you die or not, but if you do. And I hate to admit it , there won`t be anyone able to protect Amy like you do from what’s commin, so if you really care about her Castle, I suggest you stay alive. And don`t you ever call me Kid again."

At that he didn’t respond, she silently finished his stitching and put some bandages around his wound. Then she wordlessly cleaned and took care of all the minor injuries he wouldn`t been able to reach and left.

Well that was one nice conversation she thought as she took her bag and exited the trailer.

Frank still just sat there, thinking about what she had said, it had really gotten to him. The fact that she knew that he didn’t care whether he died or lived. But he forgot to tell her that he didn’t want her to die too, he didn’t want anyone else to get caught up in this mess, and as far as they knew there was no one looking for her, yet. He suddenly heard the door being shut and got out to find Rose was gone. “Damn it .” He uttered.

Rose was determined to get the guys that were after Amy, and so she did something she promised herself to never do again, but it was Amy , so she had to.

Later that day Rose returned , with a large sport bag contents unknown. She strode inside like on a mission and placed it on the table , ignoring Franks questions as to where shed been and what she had been doing.

She wordlessly opened the duffle and pulled out a long black box.

A weapons case, frank recognized.

“Hey what are you two up to?” Amy asked walking up to them from behind. “Amy I don’t want you to see this, could you please wait in the back?” Rose inquired.

“Like hell I am, I am sick of being shut out, and treated like a kid from the both of you. I am staying.”

“Fine, but don’t touch anything, you too castle!” Rose spoke with an annoyed undertone, as she opened the case, and revealed its contents a black Barrett M82.

“Where the hell did you get this?” Frank furiously inquired. “I took it with me when I left the army.” She answered calmly to release the tension. “Right , you have been deployed, you’re what 20 ? With a criminal background , when would that have happened?”

Rose let out an annoyed sigh at his disbelief and explained: “ I`m twenty one actually, I went to the army when I was eighteen , stayed till I was like nineteen and a half , I was a natural as sniper, was deployed for a few unimprtant missions, then they wanted to use me and a few other recruits as hitmen, I knew with what I knew they wouldn’t let me live if I refused their offer, so I took my shit and went AWOL. I had to disappear , after that I had to keep over water somehow, and so I did some jobs where I could put my special skills to use. It was extremely violent, and after a while I realized that I couldn’t keep doing it anymore all the things I did were just so wrong. So I searched myself a new kind of job, promising myself to never bring up my past again. I found these guys that were giving out jobs where you had to con people and it was pretty well paid that’s when I met Amy. That was about a year and a half ago.”

Amy had just been silently listening and suddenly uttered “ I thought you trusted me , and that we tell each other everything, and now I hear that you were a hitman , a mercenary?! So you lied to me about your past, and that’s how you were able to shoot a gun and beat up those guys that were after us once. Its like I don’t even know you anymore.”

Frank just silently watched, though it looked like he was contemplating something in his head.

“ Amy , you know I love you, you are like a sister to me, and I didn’t want you to know about this because its dangerous, there are still people looking for me and its dangerous for everyone who knows about this. And I tried to leave that part of my life behind, so I decided to never tell anyone , till now.”

“Yea its too dangerous, that’s what everyone keeps telling me , you know what you two , deserve each other, both keeping secrets and telling everyone its for their best ,but you-“ she was pointing at Rose “and especially you –“ now she pointed at Frank “ Are just psychopaths who like to find excuses for the awful things that you do.” With that Amy took her stuff, and went to exit the trailer. “Wow where do you think you are going.“ Frank suddenly inquired. “ Don’t even try to stop me , I am staying with Curtis, I am so sick of you too, but hey maybe you two can go on a murder spree together now. That’s what you do right?!” With a loud thud the door was slammed shut and Amy gone.

Rose wanted to go run after Amy, but Frank grabbed her arm and held her back “Don’t , she’s save with Curt , and you and me have to talk anyway.” Rose wriggled out of his hold and countered :” Oh we have nothing to talk about, the only thing we had in common , just left, I don’t owe you anything!”

She made her way to the table and started packing her stuff. Frank in the meantime phoned Curtis, about Amy.

Curtis told him that Amy had already called him and asked if she could stay with him, and that he was on his way to pick her up.

Now he turned to Rose, he watched her furiously trying to fit all her belongings in one small duffle, he would have never thought that she was ex military, but he had never seen her fight before too, except for when they first met ,she had pointed a gun at him and they had almost killed each other if it hadn’t been for Amy stepping in.

“I just talked to Curt , he is picking her up , she’s save now, you don’t need to worry about her kid.” Rose ignored him, but stopped packing and sat down burying her head in her hands.

She had realized that she wasn’t mad at Amy, or Frank, she was mad at herself, for burying up her past.

“Look just give her some time, she`ll come around sooner or later, you were just trying to protect her she`ll see that.” Frank spoke sitting down on the other end of the couch. Rose didn’t look up but mumbled :”I don’t think so, she hates me now, I messed it up again, she’s the only one I care about and now she hates me too. I should have never lied to her , I mean how could I keep this from her ?” Now it sounded like she was crying. “Look , kid. I – . I knew when I was deployed I signed up for this shady operation that wasn’t the normal kind of mission, hell I knew that this might affect me later in my life. That it might have some consequences when I`d come home. Even endanger my family. But I ignored those thoughts , I ignored all reason because I liked it, I always loved it. War all that shit. My wife knew , she told me herself that it was ok , that she loved me anyway.

But in the back of my head I knew , I always knew that I was and undoubtably am the reason they died. I had a choice, I could have signed out, lived a happy life, but I didn’t. What I wanna say is , you had the chance to get out, and you did, you are a good person Rose , and I don’t believe that Amy hates you for one second.”

Rose sighed “Yea , but I am just as bad, when I fled I could have gone under, really disappeared , but I didn’t I searched the fight I took jobs that were just as bad as the one they had offered me in the army. Back then I beat up guys just for the fun of it sometimes. I decided that I wanted to fight , and it didn’t matter if it was in the army , as private security, or something else. When I fled I noticed it that itch , the need for violence. Till I finally realized that it had to stop, that I had to stop.” She looked at him and when Frank didn’t answer she continued :” And keeping it from Amy was wrong, I should have told her who I really am, what I had done, but I just wanted to feel normal. But regardless of what I did , I never killed anyone. I beat them up, tortured even but I never killed, I didn’t want to go that far.”

Frank now regarded her and said:” You´re better than me kid, you haven’t crossed that line you still have a chance at normal. You were right trying to keep the past in the past and when this is over, you should take Amy and go start a new life, get a chance at normal.”

Rose regarded him for a moment before getting up and grabbing her bag “Thanks Castle, for keeping Amy save, and for the advice. I´m gonna go now, call me when Amy comes back.” She said laying a burner phone down next to him, before walking to the door.

“Castle you are probably the only one that’s able to give her the protection she needs, now , but I want you to know that when she’s save you don’t send her to me, my life never was normal and never will be. And don´t take this personally, but I hope we´ll never meet again.”

-And with that she left.

Authors Note: I hope this makes any sense at all

#frank castle x oc #the punisher #frank castle #frank castle imagine #frank castle edit #jon bernthal #the punisher x reader #fanfic #fanfiction #marvel #amy bendix #karen page #the punisher fanfiction #frank castle x you

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