#months imo; so considering that i answered this one fast (

[corazondebeskar-reads]

ain't no rest for the wicked - chapter three

ain't no rest for the wicked series

three: been sinnin' in this city

series masterlist | prev chapter | next chapter

Tess Servopoulos x f!reader x Joel Miller

words: 5.7k

summary: Tess and Joel go AWOL for a while, but return with a gift.

warnings: dark-ish Joel and Tess, smuggler!Joel, smuggler!Tess, boston QZ, QZ life, poorly negotiated d/s-style dynamics, poor communication, enthusiastic consent, oral sex (m & f receiving), p in v, degradation, stalking, canon-typical violence, threesome, cum eating, light rope bondage, cloth gag, spanking, punishment, sub drop, aftercare, strap-on, anal sex, rimming, light angst, edging, orgasm denial

IMPORTANT NOTE: I have updated the warnings on the masterlist to reflect that this has a bittersweet (imo) ending. It's not a happily ever after. Please feel free to DM me if you want to know spoilers before you decide if you will continue reading.

also on ao3

dividers by @saradika-graphics

“Soon” doesn’t quite happen. It’s a month before you hear from them.

Honestly, you had forced yourself to accept that it was over. Maybe Joel coming over alone was crossing a line.

Not that it stops you from looking over your shoulder or getting your hopes up when you come home. But there isn’t even a moment where you feel watched from afar. You consider drawing a line of flour across your threshold, but you have a feeling it’d be undisturbed when you get back, no matter if they came or not.

The disappointment sits bitter at the base of your throat.

That is, until you get home one evening, soaked from head to toe in sleet, and Tess is in your apartment.

When you walk in, you’re too busy trying to get your soaked boots and coat off with minimal sludge on your floor to notice. But when you do, you jerk so fast you nearly slide on the wet floor, falling back against the door.

“What the fuck,” you gasp, trying to recover from the embarrassing screech.

“Joel was right. You really ain’t got a sense of your surroundings, huh?”

“Not in my own home! M’not supposed to have to—“

She smirks.

Not that you notice; too distracted by where she’s lounging. It’s your bed but also it very much is not.

Your mattress is set up on a wooden frame. It’s not fancy, just unstained boards, but it looks well-crafted and sturdy.

“Um,” you say.

“Gonna come try it out?”

“What?”

“Don’t you like it, sunflower?”

“I-I do, I’m just—“

“I told you, we’ll take care of you.” The smirk is gone, now. She’s startlingly serious.

“You said when I’m at yours,” you say.

“Did Joel not take care of you while he was here?”

“No, he did, I—“

She sits up and grabs your wrist, tugging you over. You follow easily, acquiescing when she pulls you on the bed and manhandles you…

(womanhandles you? Are you failing feminism? Where does the movement stand at the end of the world?)

… until you’re laying beside her with your head on her stomach.

“Isn’t this more comfortable?” she says.

She’s so soft, and she smells so good. You’re a little unfocused between taking deep breaths and curling your arm around her waist. “Yes, ma’am,” you say.

She grins. “Good girl.”

For a moment, you are both content to lay there. It really is comfortable. Soon, though, you’re pressing absentminded kisses to her stomach and nuzzling her breasts.

She rubs her hand up and down your back.

Your hand twitches near the hem of her shirt. “Um,” you mumble, anxious fingers fiddling with the folded fabric.

She lifts just enough to tug it off, going after yours in nearly the same motion. Your mouth waters.

She snaps your bra strap. “Off.”

You scramble to obey, not even bothering to unhook it but yanking the old, worn cotton over your head and tossing it to the floor.

She grins at your over-eagerness, but you barely notice, unabashedly focused on her tits.

“Please,” you whisper.

She nods, and before she can voice the answer, you find yourself clinging to her.

Huh.

Funny.

You had meant to latch your mouth around her nipple, but you’re practically climbing her to get close.

Her skin against yours feels like heaven. The creeping loneliness that burrowed into your bones hurts more than ever. At the same time, though, it’s beginning to bleed out.

She gasps softly as your nails dig into her side. Not enough to hurt but enough that she seems to recognize your desperation.

“I know, sunflower. I’m sorry,” she murmurs, holding you tight, just on the right side of painful. But you need it. The twinge in your ribs is giving you more comfort than you’ve known in weeks.

You nuzzle into her chest, placing kisses across her skin that swiftly shift from soft to sloppy. You suck and lick at any inch you can reach, finally mouthing your way to her breasts. Every brush scatters sparks across your shoulders and between your ribs, leaving you shuddering and gasping against her.

She moans as you lave at each hardened bud, and holds your head with an unforgiving grip when you suckle at one. Her back arches, pushing the fat of her breast into your face.

You don’t mind. Oxygen doesn’t seem super important right now. Her other hand has captured one of your own nipples, and she pinches and tugs harshly, her moans drawn out when you whimper against her.

She laughs, and it’s on the edge of cruel, but you’re unbothered.

“Look at you,” she teases. “So fuckin’ needy, huh?”

You hadn’t even realized, but you’ve thrown a leg over hers and are rocking your hips against her thigh.

“M’sorry,” you pant, after pulling off her breast with a lewd pop. You go to move away.

“Don’t stop; it’s cute,” she says, guiding you by the back of your head to her other breast.

Heat spreads across your face but also through your spine until it pools between your thighs. Fuck it, your brain decides, before it turns off for the day.

You’re gasping as you mouth at her, your panties dragging against your clit as you grind.

She slides her hands down and tugs at them, and you quickly lift and help her wiggle them off before sliding down to dispose of hers.

You had planned on returning to her tits and maybe trying to make out, but now that you’re down here, making out with her pussy seems like a much better idea.

You press a soft kiss to her thigh and look up at her, but she surprises you and reaches her hand out to pull you back up.

She guides you, pushing and pulling your pliant limbs where she likes. You let go of the knots anxiety tied to hold you stiff and quiet, a tug behind your ribcage urging you to give in, give up, give everything to Tess.

Something hazy and lax trickles through your veins—it doesn’t go unnoticed, either.

“There you go,” she croons as you gaze up at her.

You didn’t even really notice her laying you down or getting on top of you, but you don’t think about it for long because her knee slides up to your core, grinding until it pushes against your clit.

She catches your moan in a kiss just as she settles her cunt against your thigh.

The feeling of her heat on your leg sends your hips canting against the relentless pressure of her knee. As you squirm and buck, your thigh moves against her, and she moans, biting at your lips until they part with a gasp.

She’s less rough with you than Joel but no less commanding. Her hands grip true and firm, and one winds its way around your neck to squeeze at the sides as she kisses you. You can’t tell which makes you dizzier, but either way, you writhe beneath her just the way she intended.

“I know you’re his,” she murmurs against your swollen lips. “But you’re mine, too, ain’tcha?”

You nod frantically, or at least to the best of your ability, trapped as you are. She eases up a little to let you gasp. You manage to squeak out a “yes, ma’am,” before she increases the pressure again. You’re squirming now, each wriggle of your body bringing you together in a rush of warm, wet ecstasy.

“That’s right,” she says before releasing your throat and focusing her attention on grinding against you. “You wanna cum, sunflower?” Her finger tweaks your nipple.

You reach for her breasts with one hand, the other settling on her thigh, where she’s spread across you. “Want you to,” you pant.

“Oh, I plan on it,” she says. Her smirk is intoxicating, and so is the way her hair falls around her face while she looks down at you. “But you’re gonna cum now.”

Her voice permits no choice, and she jerks her knee against your cunt. The shock and delicious pain of it have you obeying immediately, with her not far behind.

She, at least, has the sense of mind to cover your mouth with her hand. When she’s coming down from her high, she slides it slightly to cover your nose, too.

“Cum again, baby,” she says.

You cling to her with bruising fingers as you cum, and everything goes fuzzy and gray. She pulls her hand away at the last second, rolling her hips against your leg until she cums again, too.

“Please,” you sob.

She doesn’t need you to explain, just rolls back until you can pull your leg out from under her and lunge, burying your face between her thighs.

Her nails scratch against your scalp, and she gasps when you suck on her swollen clit. She lets you lick and draw two more orgasms out of her before she pulls you away from her cunt.

“No more,” she scolds when you whine. “I don’t wanna be sore tomorrow when you come over.”

“Oh, am I coming over tomorrow?” you tease.

“Well, I just said you were, didn’t I? Don’t be late.”

You frown, something too close to a pout, when she rises from the bed and pulls her clothes back on.

“I know,” she says softly, pinching your chin. “You be good and get some sleep, okay? You’re gonna need it.”

She pauses, looking at your bathroom door. “You really got mice in there on purpose?”

You bury your face in your hands and nod. “I can scare ‘em off if you need it.”

She snorts and shakes her head, something almost fond in her eyes, something that will haunt you. “Nah, leave ‘em be.” With one last kiss to your forehead, she slips out of the door.

You hesitate, but get up and lock all the locks behind her.

You’d be lying if you said you weren’t expecting Joel to be outside your work. He isn’t, though. You hesitate for a minute, wondering if it means you shouldn’t go over after all.

In the end, your cunt makes the call, and you find your way to their apartment successfully. Look at that, you think. You were paying attention, after all. They never need to know you knocked on two wrong doors first.

Tess opens the third door and smiles. You flush immediately and give her a soft smile back, slipping inside and toeing off your boots. Once you set your bag by the door, you sink onto your knees. It’s all you could think about at work, and you don’t have the strength to fight the urge.

She ruffles your hair. “Look how good you are, pretty girl.”

Your eyes close briefly at the praise, and you look up at her. The fluorescent yellow bulb is obscured behind her head, warmth framing her like a halo.

“Unfortunately, Joel’s not been so good today, sunflower. You’re going to help me remind him how, okay?”

She gives you a hand and doesn’t let go after you stand, leading you into the bedroom. You freeze, though, when you see Joel tied to the bedposts with short lengths of rope and a bandana shoved in his mouth.

He squeezes his eyes tight when he sees you like he can block out the way your eyes are wide and brows furrowed. The shame burns across his body, but more than that, he aches to wipe the concern off your face.

So, he opens his eyes and forces himself into something calm. Accepting. He twitches two fingers against his bond to beckon you.

“Go ahead,” Tess gives you a little shove.

Logically, you know he submits to her. You’ve seen it. But it’s never been like this, never been him restrained or suffering.

He’s usually more like a devoted beast, content to kiss the hand that feeds.

Either way, you go to him and obediently duck so he can cup your face to the best of his ability. You press a kiss to his palm before looking to Tess.

“Someone here decided he couldn’t wait and jerked himself off in the shower this morning, even though you were comin’ over,” she says.

You look at Joel, baffled by the way you almost feel… hurt? It doesn’t make sense, but Tess’s tone seemed to imply you should.

She laughs at the look on your face. “Told ya,” she says to Joel. She comes up behind you, one arm slung across your collarbone and the other hand curling under your chin to grip your jaw. “Little slut’s disappointed.”

You, as always, burn for her amusement.

“Ain’t that right? You woulda been willing to help him out, huh?” she asks. Her grip on your jaw jerks your head up and down even as you’re whimpering, “Yes, ma’am.”

He spits the bandana out. “Told you, I wouldn’t have lasted. Had to take the edge off.”

Oh, she knows. She had come home last night and stroked his cock while telling him all about her visit. She hadn’t let him cum, then, either.

“That’s not for you to decide,” she says, letting you go so she can stuff his mouth full again. “Guess you gotta learn.”

She turns to you. “Climb up and get comfortable between his legs.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

He growls. You look sad, and he doesn’t like it. It doesn’t suit you.

Tess catches his eye and looks you over. “Hey,” she says, a hand on your shoulder. “You trust me?”

“Yes, ma’am.” And you mean it, more than you realized.

“Then stop feelin’ bad for him and help him out.”

“Yes, ma’am,” you murmur and climb up onto the bed, finding a home for yourself between his thighs. The dark hair tickles your nose when you press a kiss to the inside of his leg, nuzzling your cheek against it.

You’re not stupid, but you think you might be an idiot. You know what this is. And what it isn’t. But the way your chest warms at being close, at being allowed to see him vulnerable, at being coddled a little by the both of them—well, it’s dangerous.

When Tess rubs a hand over your back and whispers “good girl,” in your ear, you decide you don’t care. So what if your foolish heart is collateral? How many times since the world ended have you gotten to feel anything? You don’t need forever; you just need whatever you have in these moments.

So you’ll take it and swallow it up, bottle it inside for when you need something soft and warm at the end of a bad day.

Unfortunately, all the thinking about things that aren’t has you jittering your right leg. It’s tucked under you and jostles your whole body a little. Your head rests on Joel’s thigh, a torturous inch from his leaking cock.

But you know better. And so you wait.

She takes her sweet time, letting him watch you watch precum leak down. The longer she leaves you there in silence, the more the buzzing in your brain fades to a gentle breeze. Your leg stops its fussing, and you breathe deeper, easier. His thigh is wide and warm, and you’re close enough to smell the deep musk of him.

It makes your mouth water and your mind quiet. She comes back over, and you shudder when her fingers trip up the length of your spine until they come to rest on the back of your neck.

“Go real slow,” she says. “Just kisses and licks, for now.”

You’re in a haze; the world narrowed to her voice and his cock. First, you wipe his leaking slit clean with the broad stripe of your tongue before kissing it softly. He groans, but it settles into a whine when you kiss down the underside until you reach his balls.

They’re hanging at a bit of an awkward angle for you to reach, so you shift to sink lower, steadying yourself with a hand on each of his thighs. You don’t think you’ve ever gotten to properly appreciate him like this, to feel the velvet skin against your cheek as you nuzzle in.

Tess’s hand stays steady on the back of your neck, tethering you to the world without having to focus on the threadbare sheets or the clangs and shouts from the open window.

You’re not sure how long you spend like that, wrapping your tongue around wherever you can reach without actually taking him into your mouth. He’s twitching here and there, rewarding you with tiny tastes of him as you go.

She tugs on your neck, pulling you back. You whine, but he whimpers louder. She lets both of you sit and catch your breath for a moment before she’s pushing you down again.

“Just the tip,” she tells you with a playful wink at Joel.

You wrap your lips around it and can’t help but suck hard. His hips jerk up, but Tess is faster, pulling you out of his reach.

“Hold still,” she says, swatting at his thigh. “Be grateful for what you’re getting.”

She waits until he nods before pushing you back down. You try to be gentler, a softer, pulsing pressure, but he’s squirming beneath you, and you’re aching to have him deeper, sliding just a little further onto his shaft.

Tess yanks you by the neck away from him and fixes you with a stern scowl.

“I’m sorry! I’ll be good,” you cry.

“You better be,” she warns and pushes you back down.

By the time she lets you bury him in your throat, your knees are aching, and Joel is shaking with the effort to hold still. You don’t like the way he gasps and struggles; each sound sending a hairline fracture through something in your chest.

You don’t need to look to know he has tears in his eyes. You can hear it in the ragged breaths and grit of his teeth.

The sun has set. It has to have been at least an hour, maybe two, since this all started.

He lets out a wounded sound, and your own follows.

“Hey,” Tess’s voice cuts through Joel’s whimpers. She tugs at you gently, and you pull off.

“Why’re you crying, sunflower?” she says.

You don’t know how she knew it wasn’t from choking on his cock. It wasn’t like you hadn’t gotten teary before. You weren’t even really sure you were crying. But now that she’s asked, your chest feels tight.

Joel’s focused on you, too, throbbing cock forgotten for a moment.

“I’m okay,” you say, but it’s hardly convincing after it breaks on a sobbing gasp. “I-I—“

She gets on the bed and pulls you into her lap, where you curl around her and begin to cry in earnest. With one hand, she’s able to tug one of Joel’s free, and he’s more than capable of undoing the other.

He sits up on his knees and hovers, hands clenching and unclenching at his side. Tess cradles you and whispers soothing nothings.

Joel finally reaches out and puts his hand on the back of your neck, cupping close. He doesn’t really know what to do with himself.

When you feel his hand on you, unmistakably Joel, both in the breadth of his grip and considering you know where both of Tess’s hands are, you peek up to look at him.

“I’m sorry,” you say, and the chest-wracking gasps take over again. “I’m sorry.”

You’re clinging; you know you are. But it feels all wrong, all jumbled in your chest, like instead of finishing the puzzle, someone just jammed the pieces together until they stuck, no matter the damage.

“Why’re you sorry, huh? You did exactly as you were told,” he says, thumb rubbing over the nape of your neck.

“I don’t know, I feel sad,” you mumble into Tess’s shoulder.

Tess rubs her hand between your shoulder blades. “That was too confusing for you, huh? Put you in a weird place? Like you betrayed him a little bit?”

You nod, rubbing your hand over your clavicle. “Feels wrong.”

“I’m sorry, sunflower.” She kisses your forehead. “You need him to forgive you?”

Your throat is cinched around stone. All you can do is nod.

“Hey, c’mere,” Joel says and pulls you from her lap to his.

You curl up with your face buried in the crook of his arm.

“Ain’t nothin’ to forgive,” he murmurs, kissing the top of your head.

Your inhale sounds mortifyingly like a sob.

Tess shakes her head and raises an eyebrow at him, knowing he gets the same way. “You need to show her. Prove it. Let her earn it.”

“That what ya need? Need your own punishment, remember your place?”

You nod frantically against his collarbone.

“Okay, sweet girl. I can do that.”

Once you’ve settled and the tears subsided, he pries you away and tilts your chin up to look at him. “Lay across my lap.”

You remember his threat from your apartment, and for whatever reason, warmth spreads from your chest to your toes.

He helps you shift into position, arranging you how he wants. A broad hand splays across your hips while the other grips you by the jaw.

“Look at you. You’re just a little girl who needs a spanking, huh?” His grip intensifies, craning your neck.

“Yes sir,” you cry.

“Say it.”

“I—I’m just a little girl who needs a spanking.”

“Yeah? Why’s that?”

“‘Cause you’ll take care of me.”

It’s not the answer any of you expected. Tess gives a low whistle. Joel’s grip on your jaw slackens just a little.

His other hand comes up to brush against your cheek. He clears his throat, and when he speaks, it’s softer, quieter. “That’s right. I’m gonna take care of ya.”

Your lip quivers, and you don’t know why. Everything is suddenly in stereo sound. Your scalp stings. The brush of his dry finger scrapes against the apple of your cheek. There’s a crack opening somewhere, maybe your throat, maybe your stomach.

Tess runs a hand through Joel’s hair, and he releases your jaw, broad palm finding purchase on the upturned curve of your back.

“Jus’ relax ‘n let me take care of ya,” he rumbles.

The first hit is soft. A test. You don’t flinch when he lifts his hand to strike you again.

The third one stings, and you huff out a breath but hold steady. His hand on your back seems to be supporting your entire spine, given that the rest of you feels like it may melt into the horrible carpet. Another stain in their apartment, but at least this one will bring good memories. You hope.

You might have spent more on the thought, but the next smack lands hard and heavy, and you yelp, nails digging into his calf where they cling for stability. Physical and mental.

“Shh, you’re alright,” he says, rubbing his thumb back and forth where it lays.

The next hit is hard again. And the next. And the three after that.

You’re wriggling in his lap now, not trying to escape but simply squirming after each spank as if you could douse the fire he’s started.

He rubs your ass where his palm had just bounced from, and you suck in a soft hiss.

“I want to give you five more,” he says. “Can you take it?”

You don’t even think about it. “Yes, sir,” you say, shuddering.

His hand cracks down hard before you can brace yourself, and you whimper, kicking your feet a little and squirming.

The next one pushes the tears over the edge as you cry out, writhing a little.

“Good girl, you’re doing so good, darlin’,” he croons.

You want nothing more than to believe him. The words sink beneath your skin, and you expect them to itch like all praise. But they don’t.

The next three aren’t as harsh. At least, you think they aren’t? You’re feeling kind of sleepy. Or dizzy. Maybe both.

“C’mere,” he says, pulling you up seated in his lap. “You took that so well. So good for us, baby.”

Tess hands you a glass of water and kisses the top of your head. She kisses Joel’s, too.

“Y’did good, sweet boy,” she tells him.

You sip at the water while they kiss, something silent passing overhead. You don’t try to catch it; it’s not for you.

You feel quiet. Like sitting there in Joel’s lap, drinking your water is the only thing in your life. Nothing buzzes behind your skull; nothing sends you jittering and twitching and bouncing. It’s… well, it’s quiet.

“Alright, I think you’ve both earned a reward,” Tess says.

Joel looks up at her.

She grins. “I’m going to fuck you while you fuck her.”

His grip on your waist tightens. “Can I…”

“Yes, I’ll let you come, baby,” she says. “I think you learned your lesson. And you’ve done such a good job with our girl there.”

You’re leaning against his chest, now, listening to the rumble of his voice. You’re not really sure what they’re talking about, but you think maybe you’re going to get fucked now. Which sounds great. You sigh softly, eyes fluttering shut.

“Hey,” he jostles you a little. “You awake enough to fuck?”

“Mhm.”

He nudges you again, and you blink up at him. “I’m awake,” you whine, nuzzling into his neck and setting your teeth gently against the tendon in protest.

“Didn’t you just get spanked?” he scolds. “You need another round?”

“No,” you mumble, even though maybe your pussy is saying yes. But you’re starting to think she doesn’t have your best interests in mind. “I dunno. Maybe later.”

He sighs, shaking his head. “Lay down,” he says, pushing slowly at your shoulder. You whine and cling with your arms around his neck. He wants you to move? It seems so cruel.

You tell him so, and he rolls his eyes before slipping an arm under your knees and standing up. You squeak.

You try to bury your face further into Joel, but he dumps you unceremoniously on the bed.

You pout, and he smirks as he prowls, trapping you between his knees and bringing your arms up over your head.

“You wanna keep up the attitude? I don’t have to let you cum tonight,” he says as he cages you in.

You whimper, less at his words than at the way you’re throbbing. “I’ll be good,” you whisper.

“Wanna try that again?”

“I’ll be good, sir.”

He kisses your forehead, still looming over you. “Yeah, you will.”

“You want her to help get you ready, baby?” Tess says.

“Oh fuck,” Joel whispers. He looks down at you. “Ever eaten ass, princess?”

You can’t help the moan that slips out, nodding. “Not in a long time.”

He cocks an eyebrow at you. “Y’keep sayin’ that. How long was it for ya, before us?”

You flush and suddenly can’t look at him. “Like. Years. Too long.”

“Don’t gotta be shy about it, sunflower,” Tess says. “We were just curious.”

Mortifyingly, you realize that means they talked about you when you weren’t there. Of course, they did, but you didn’t think it really went beyond “Hey did you like that” and “Do we want to fuck her again?”

“Oh god,” you whisper.

“C’mon and put that mouth to better use,” Joel says, rolling his eyes. He tugs you down further on the mattress before kneeling at the top of the bed, knees bracketing your head.

You don’t waste time, leaning forward to first lick at his balls before dragging your tongue back. You can’t help but nip at his butt. He pinches at your breast in return, and you grin as you drag your tongue in circles, coming close but never quite touching where he needs you.

He gasps when you finally lick across his hole, soaking him in your saliva but only using soft, light touches. He grinds down onto your face, forcing you to devote your attention to him, kissing and licking until your face is covered in your own spit from how buried in him you are.

It’s your turn to gasp when, just as you press the tip of your tongue inside him, Tess slides two fingers into your cunt and curls them. Having regained control of the situation, Joel gropes at your breasts, tugging your nipples until they’re stretched almost too painfully, and you don’t really recognize the wet sounds above you right away.

You almost cum when you realize they’re making out as they toy with you. Tess works you open with three fingers now as you twirl your tongue in tight circles. She pulls her hand free and breaks the kiss just to shove her fingers into his mouth. He sucks and licks your slick from her, and when she pulls her hand away, they both move in tandem without speaking a word.

He moves down off the bed to bury his face between your legs, bent at the waist so she can work lubed-up fingers into his ass. He moans against your clit, and you writhe under the weight of his strong arm across your hips.

He smacks your hip. “Cum,” he growls, pinching your clit and licking as deep as he can inside you. You do, crying out just a little too loud and wincing at the sound.

“Don’t,” Tess scolds. “Let us hear you, sunflower.”

“B-but—”

“You think we give a fuck about the neighbors?” She pulls back from Joel and slaps his ass. “C’mon, give her your cock now.”

He taps your thigh and jerks his head toward the top of the bed. You scoot back a little.

“Ready, sunflower? You want me t’fill you up?” His fist is wrapped around the base of his cock.

“Please, sir,” you say, spreading your legs wide and tilting your hips up.

“Attagirl,” he murmurs. Once he’s settled on top of you, Tess grabs him by the hair.

“Just the tip, baby,” she says. “Let me fuck you into her.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he says while you moan.

He notches himself at your slit and gently pushes until the head of his cock is nestled inside you. His hands are balled into fists where they cage you in, and his chest heaves with the effort. After all the wretched edging earlier, he’s not actually sure he can hold back.

“Good boy,” Tess murmurs.

It helps, at least until he hears the vibrator click to life inside her. She moans and adjusts the harness a little before she slaps his ass and pushes in agonizingly slow.

It doesn’t stay slow. She drags it out just until you both are desperate before grabbing his hips and shoving the rest of her strap in. It knocks him forward to split you open.

You think you might actually die this time. How is it that she keeps coming up with even better ways to fuck?

You expect him to try to take control, but he lets her set the unforgiving rhythm, fucking herself on the cock held tight inside her by the harness and taking Joel apart with the other half. Each time her hips crash into him, he rocks into you.

“Fuckin’ hell,” Joel grunts, leaning down to bite at your tits so you writhe and whine beneath him.

You grip one of his biceps and reach up for Tess with the other hand. She entwines your fingers, grinning as you grip on desperately. Joel’s teeth have found your neck, leaving marks for you to find later.

You’re not sure how many times you cum. Or Tess, for that matter. Joel manages two. When Tess takes pity on him for the first, he breaks apart so hard that he buries his face in your tits, biting down and leaving hot tears behind. She fucks him through it, and he never goes fully soft, still twitching and throbbing inside you.

When he starts to protest from the overstimulation, she clicks her tongue at him. “No. Another.”

“I can’t,” he whimpers.

“Yeah, you can. Don’t you want him to cum again, sunflower?”

“Uh-huh,” is all you manage as the breath gets knocked out of you on each thrust.

“Be a good boy and cum for me again,” she says. She lets go of your hand to wrap hers around his throat.

You moan, remembering the way she held yours just yesterday.

He gets a glint in his eye even as they glaze over a little, and slides his hand up to do the same to you.

“Fuck, look at you,” Tess says, eyes flicking between you. “Both bein’ so good for me.”

It’s really all it takes. Joel starts to cum first, and when you feel him jerk inside you, this orgasm forcing some of his first load out to pool on the sheet, you snap, warmth flooding you as you tremble beneath them.

All of it sends Tess over the edge, too, and she reaches out to stroke your cheek as she cums, her other hand still loosely cupping Joel’s neck.

Joel’s shaking as he holds himself over you carefully, waiting as Tess gently pulls out. He follows, concern in his wrinkles as you wince.

“M’ok,” you mumble.

Tess goes to head to the bathroom for a towel but he stops her, grabbing her hand and bringing it to his lips. He jerks his head to the bed, and she sighs but crawls beside you to let him handle cleanup.

You watch him, brow furrowed just a little. He should be more tired than either of you.

“He likes to take care of me,” she says. “Of both of us. Sometimes, we just gotta let him.” She tucks an arm under you, and you roll to wrap your arm around her waist.

Tess insists they walk you home that night. “But will you make it back before curfew?” you try to protest.

“Y’ain’t gotta worry about us,” Joel cuts in gruffly. “We’re the ones that gotta worry about you.”

You bite your lip but don’t argue. There’s no point once they’ve decided something, anyway.

Something about it feels off, like you’re in someone else’s skin, but then she slips her hand into yours. Joel trails behind you, scowl firmly locked in place as he shoots dark looks around.

You draw the line at them coming into the building. It feels sickeningly silly, like you’re playing pretend in dangerous waters. Your firm “no” doesn’t stop Tess from kissing your cheek or Joel from rubbing your shoulder before you go inside.

You’d always been fine by yourself before, but your new bed feels cold and lonely.

next chapter

*title from "HandClap" by Fitz and the Tantrums

[superfallingstars]

Hey! Wanted to send you another playlist ask prompt (if that's ok) ^^: Percy Weasley in his flat, trying not to think about his family. I'm genuinely wondering what he would listen to

send me playlist asks!

First off, you can basically always send playlist prompts, I’m fine with it, I have a ton of fun with these. It’s just a matter of whether I answer them in a few weeks, months, or years LOL

I confess, before receiving this ask, I had thought about Percy for maybe a grand total of 5 seconds, so suffice it to say that I had no idea what to do about this. However I recently (VERY recently) started rereading the series and I’m slowly remembering who tf he is lol. My playlists for the other Weasley kids all have a huge Britpop influence, so I decided to continue that (along with some other alternative 80s and 90s stuff) on Percy’s. Hopefully it comes across that he is a huge stuck-up nerd, but he is also just a young guy trying to find his place in the world, going through the difficult process of realizing that he's made a mistake, and admitting to himself and the people he hurt that he was wrong... I imagine it was a very humbling experience. Also wow there’s so many great songs about moving on and starting a new life and I don’t think about you at all anymore so idk why you’re even sending me a sweater MOM. Basically I'm quite proud of the lyrics on this one (part of why it took me 10000 years to answer) – so let's get into it

Track list:

Blur - There’s No Other Way: starting off strong with some early Blur. Tbh I don’t really know what this song is about but I enjoy that it starts out with “You’re taking the fun out of everything.” Soooo true Percy you killjoy

The Wedding Present - Box Elder: Great song about leaving (specifically a relationship – unfortunately most great songs about moving on are about relationships, but whatever)! “I’ve got a lot of things to do / A lot of places to go / I’ve got a lot of good things coming my way / And I’m afraid to say that you’re not one of them.” Yeowch!

Lloyd Cole and the Commotions - Are You Ready To Be Heartbroken?: I adore this song in all its 80s glory! The meaning is a bit ambiguous but imo it’s about being an opinionated, idealistic, pretentious young person (“Making your friends feel so guilty about their cynicism”) who doesn’t realize real life is going to – well – break their heart.

The Smiths - London: I just heard this song for the first time two days ago and omg it's perfect. Like it’s literally about leaving your friends and family behind to go move to London and work in the big city. Percy would 10000% listen to this (and uncritically agree that the only reason his family is mad at him is because they’re jealous of his success and his big boy job at the Ministry)

Ned’s Atomic Dustbin - Selfish: from what I can tell, this song is about being an insecure loser so you get all stuck-up and mean about it. "If I don't know what's cool / Will you call me a loser?" ... “I hope your head's aching from having too much fun” ... “The selfish gene in me / Has finally come into being / He’s teaching me how to be mean / But that’s a sorry sorry state to be in” ..Rather fitting, isn’t it?

The Wedding Present - Getting Nowhere Fast: read an article about this song (the original song, this is a cover) that described it as “the feeling that your failing life isn’t what you signed up for” and honestly I can’t describe it any better than that

Blur - Birthday: this song is about spending your birthday alone and feeling really weird and bad about it. Which is something I hadn’t even considered could have happened to Percy but now I 1000% believe that it did

New Order - Weirdo: These lyrics man. “It’s a life that’s made for me / Where I can be completely free / So long as I obey this sound / That echoes all around” Lollll

Dire Straits - Brothers in Arms: This song is a little dated for Percy’s time, but I quite like putting 80s stuff on here because I think older music adds to Percy's supposed maturity as well as making him seem accurately uncool. And “We’re fools to make war on our brothers in arms” wow sooooo true

The Verve - Neon Wilderness: truly captures the vibes of being a lonely young person living on your own in the big city. I can vividly picture Percy listening to this alone in his flat and slowly realizing what a sad and solitary life he has created for himself…

Pavement - Stop Breathing: THE REALIZATION. This song is technically about a soldier dealing with the emotional toll of war but it works fantastically well for this playlist (the guilt of realizing you were wrong, that you truly hurt others, and that your whole belief system was massively flawed). “Write it on a postcard / Dad they broke me / Dad they broke me.” Ummmmm screaming crying throwing up

The Rentals - It’s Time to Come Home: It really is.

WOWWW this one was so fun! It was a challenge to create a playlist for a character I’m not super familiar with, but honestly that was probably the most fun part about it! It’s so rewarding when you spend some time thinking about a character you (initially) feel neutral towards and force yourself to really consider their motivations and relate to them – I like Percy a lot more now LOL. Thank you so much for the ask!

[seokljin]

hope you have great weekend 💛🍊

it was a better one in a while, thank you ♡ i hope yours was good, and that your week will be just as grand 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

[isagrimorie]

I see that you’re a klonnie, so how do you think the tvdu as a whole would’ve changed if bonnie got pregnant with hope instead of hayley?

It's a fairly new ship for me!

But I haven't considered Bonnie getting pregnant with her version of Baby Hope. Mostly because of how Hope was born and how traumatic it was in canon for Hayley and Hope. I just don't want Bonnie to have that trauma for her on top of everything else.

I wonder how Bonnie would end up in New Orleans. IMO if Bonnie were to get pregnant with baby Hope there is no way I want Bonnie to remain in Mystic Falls, for a mystical pregnancy where she doesn't have any community.

Despite all the dangers NOLA has, the one thing NOLA has above Mystic Falls is an active witch community and that's something I wish Bonnie to have. A community and a support system. Especially since she won't be the only witch doing last-minute magical saves.

I think, maybe this is how it goes: Bonnie breaks free from whatever Professor Shane has over Bonnie, Klaus and Elijah have left for New Orleans early after Katherine's letter.

A month later Bonnie realizes she was pregnant after an ill-advised one-night stand with Klaus and out of confusion and fear she goes to NOLA for answers.

Here might be some changes:

Bonnie and Klaus are more of a love match than Hayley and Klaus's platonic, divorced parents' energy.

Bonnie and Davina become friends, and Bonnie doesn't tolerate Klaus's bullying of Davina. And while she appreciates Marcel and Davina's familial bond Bonnie doesn't like Marcel using Davina for his own ends.

Bonnie is repulsed by the French Quarter Witches' Harvest girl's practice. Later, she will learn more about the Treme witch covens (Vincent Griffiths' coven) which are more of Bonnie's liking. She also isn't that fond of the Ancestors.

Hayley still goes to New Orleans because of the crescents -- and the thing that keeps her alive is Elijah's attraction to Hayley. Although, I'm not sure what will make Hayley amenable to the Mikaelsons without the tie of Hope to the family.

I'll make Bonnie and Hayley friends. Hayley saves Bonnie when Agatha and other French Quarter witches try something against Bonnie.

The other difference would be, that Bonnie would be more of an active participant earlier in the series. Hayley took a while to find her footing because witches and vampires and having a miracle baby put Hayley on the backfoot until she found her pack.

Bonnie and Klaus's miracle baby will have the Qetsiyah-Bennet line and the Mikaelson witch line. I don't know if Bonnie's Hope would also be a wolf, or if canon!Hope was a wolf because both her parents are werewolves. But let's say Bonnie's baby Hope is also a tribrid but she's more powerful as a witch because of the Qetsiyah-Bennet power.

Originals!Sophie Devereaux is going to learn fast not to mess with Bonnie Bennet. Davina is spared getting the burden of becoming Regent of the Nine Covens before she's ready and Bonnie becomes the Regent.

A war with the Guerreras still ensue-- Bonnie was able to draw enough ancestral magic to survive Genevieve killing her as she gave birth to her baby Hope.

Bonnie helps Hayley against Celeste as they untangle the Crescent Pack curse, earning Hayley’s and the Crescent pack's loyalty.

Bonnie has no patience with Klaus and Marcel's territorial war and says as much, and as often.

Bonnie also wouldn't appreciate how Elijah talks about her child as if baby Hope was the second coming and as an instrument to Klaus's redemption and says as much to him.

Rebekah hasn't interacted with Bonnie much in Mystic Falls but she quickly realizes she likes Bonnie.

Elena and Caroline visit Bonnie regularly in NOLA and Bonnie's Hope grow up with a lot of aunts around her.

Bonnie also goes toe to toe with Dahlia because no witch is going to steal her baby from her, especially since she just got baby!Hope back.

Esther's also going to learn not to mess with Bonnie Bennet.

Baby!Hope will grow-up biracial which has its own challenges but she has a vast support network who will help her along and never leave nor disappear from her life.

Bonnie Bennet doesn't die in season 5 of this alternate Originals. Also, there's none of this nonsense where Klaus disappear from their child's life for years because he was ashamed. Bonnie will track him down until he confesses what happened -- that Hope saw him in the middle of a killing spree.

Freya and Bonnie also end up becoming friends and Freya welcome Bonnie in her heart as her sister. This means when they're all threatened no one relies on just Bonnie to do last-minute magical saves. On her side, Bonnie has all of the Nine Covens of New Orleans, Vincent Griffith, and Freya Mikaelson.

Vincent tells Bonnie early on: "You are not your friends nor your family's witch for hire. You have your own life. They can't expect you to always sacrifice your life for their lives."

No one in NOLA is impressed with the Salvatore brothers and everyone tells them so. This has little to do with Bonnie, it's just cathartic for me. (Look I like them in specific circumstances, especially Damon. I just find it hilarious how the Salvatore brothers think they're hot shit when they didn't even know werewolves existed).

[zozophoenixxx]

Serotonin Booster :D🐉

How to train your dragon edition

Here are some things I had forgotten or little details I just noticed on my rewatch, maybe even Unpopular Opinions 🤭👀

✨Defenders of Berk✨

Not Astrid being pissed bc Fishlegs called her mean lmaooo

OMGGG "I would never call my father ridiculous. I'm calling my chief ridiculous" THE POWER OF THIS SCENE

The way Toothless just sat to look at the sunset.. Me too bby me too 🥺

Toothless and Thornado's shots combined was amazing!

"The first rule about the dragon flight club is that there is no dragon flight club"

Istg Meatlug and Fishlegs are made for each other

Baby whispering deaths!

OMG THEY JUST CAME UP WITH GRONCKLE IRON

I love seeing the origin of things ☺️

Wowww I just realized that Gobber has a unibrow

Sandstone makes glass

That shiny black rock makes another shiny black Rock, it also has Meatlug boiling

WOW a combination of multiple rock makes Meatlug a magnet

The way Hookfang pays more attention to Fishlegs than Snotlout is funny

Fishlegs on Toothless!!!!

"TOO MUCH FURY, TOO MUCH FURY!" JAHDHDHAH

Awwww love how Fishlegs feels happy abt being needed

DAGUR'S BACK AHH

I never understood why Dagur called Hiccup his brother but it's kinda funny

Young hiccup actually fighting is pretty badass and that shield 🥴

The way they were all trying to get Gobber to shower lmaooo

Gobber saved Gustav's life and Fishleg saved Astrid's

Am I the only one that finds the whispering deaths kinda funny, like yes they're scary but these mfs have tiny wings, a big ass head, are covered in spines and can't see like-

Newly hatched whispering deaths can be more deadly that adults bc they can't control their jaws or spines

WOW WOW WOWWWW A WHITE WHISPERING DEATH - Titanwing whispering death with red eyes OMG NO NO THIS IS THE SCREAMING DEATH I KNEW IT ‼️‼️

Wow but the pain in Snotlout's eyes 🥺

Monstrous nightmares are stoker-class dragons

Fireworms get brighter the closer they get to each other

Ohhhhh now I get the history behind Hookfang and the fireworms queen's connection

"You're not just another sword, Hookfang"

Awww the fireworm queen saved Hookfang, I ship them now JSHDHSHS

BABY ASTRID!! 🥺🥺🥺 AWWW

Flightmare - follows the glowing algae caused by Aurvandil's fire, sprays a paralyzing mist to those who it considers a threat to its survival

Aurvandil's fire = Aurora Borealis

YES ASTRID BEAT SNOTLOUT UP

Hiccup: Well, you know, Astrid, uh, training dragons isn't the only thing I think about.

Astrid: Are you actually saying that to me with a straight face?

JAHSHAHAJAJ I SWEAR I LOVE THESE TWO the way both of them said these lines I can't ✋🏼😂

The way she said the exact same thing as her uncle and even took on the name I-

I have this headcanon that bc I'm pretty sure Astrid's parents were barely mentioned in the shows or movies that her uncle was the person that was there for her the most which is another reason why it upset her to see people making fun of him

Why does whenever Astrid gets shot by a dragon she always tries to hit it off like her axe is a baseball bat? 😂

Hiccup saving Astrid in the flightmare ep🥺🥺🥺🥺

GLOWY TOOTHLESS AND GLOWY STORMFLY AND GLOWY MEATLUG ARE ADORABLE

Awww I love how Hiccup makes sure to mention the fact that "Fearless Fin Hofferson was indeed fearless, just like all the Hoffersons" 🥺🥺🥺 STOP AND THEN SHE SMILES AND HE PROCEEDS TO PUT HIS HAND ON HER SHOULDER I-🥴🥴🥴

I love how they're always interrupted whenever they're about to say a bad word

Lil terrible terrors are adorable 🥺

The fact that what they were trained for was actually useful it's crazy

Astrid: "no one is kissing me on the lips ever!!" HHSHAHAH ASTRID WHY U LYING

I feel like we don't appreciate how smart Hiccup actually is, and I don't mean that dragon-wise or building stuff-wise I mean in general. I'm in ep9 and they're finding old dragon traps to get rid of them and there was a lil breeze and he was like "there's a dry hot wind coming in from the north. It hasn't rained in 2 months. This is definitely fire weather." like how- am I the only one that would've been like okok a nice warm breeze 😩

Dude the typhoomerangs are so scary and huge wtf

I KNEW HE WAS TORCH

Torch actually built a lil relationship with Tuff just for that but of time I love it

WE'RE FINALLY GONNA SEE THE SKRILL!! I love it it's one of my favorite dragons :D

I never understood why fishlegs says his name when he's excited

Skrills - The skrill was first found frozen, it's the symbol of the Berserkers, it can stay safely frozen for decades because of their internal body temperature, can't redirect any lightning if it's in the water 😳

Y'all the skrill and the nightfury have gotta be related somehow, they're probably like cousins or sum. I mean the night fury is the "unholy offspring of lighting and death" and the skrill can control lightning AND TECHNICALLY TOOTHLESS CAN TOO REMEMBER HTTYD 3 + they also have similar physical characteristics at least Imo.

Dude this dragon is so badass 😌🤩🥰😩🥴❣️🤍🤝 I'm literally so obsessed

Wow one of the first times I see the twins actually doing sum useful

The way the shots combine🥴

Dagur has misophonia - condition where people experience intense negative emotions for sounds such as eating, chewing, loud breathing or even repeated pen-clicking [ep11]

Oh wow so they originally trapped the skrill in this show i didn't know

Wait but baby Gustav is actually adorable wtf and the fact that he and Snotlout have matching Viking hats

OMG SEE NOW I'M SEEING GUSTAV'S ORIGIN WITH HIS DRAGON AND HIS DESIRE TO BECOME A RIDER

Fanghook🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Ruff puts fish oil on her hair to get "a greasy unwashed look"

Really hate when Snotlout doesn't accept no for an answer

THE HAND THING AHHHH I LOVE IT this time is Ruff and a scauldron

Ok guys so I did this with mi friend's puppy who I accidentally scared enough to make him piss himself and I'm pretty sure I traumatized him and now when I'm around the poor dog tries to get as far away from me as possible but one day we were kinda bonding although he still wouldn't let me pet it AND I DID THE HAND THING BECAUSE WHY NOT AND THIS LIL MF ACTUALLY PUTS HIS FACE IN MY HAND- I screamed and he left again🥺😂 BUT IT DID WORK

Scauldy🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥰😌☺️🤩🤍

Ok but ruffnut with short hair 🤩

Speedstingers

Also the way Astrid ran up to Hiccup in the ep14

Wait but the scene whenever they're fighting the Speedstingers and Fishlegs says they're too fast but Hiccup's like "not for a nightfury" and then they show Toothless dodging the Speedstinger's attack AND THEN THEY SHOW HICCUP PROTECTING HIMSELF WITH HIS SHIELD WHICH GETS THROWN AWAY BUT RIGHT THERE TOOTHLESS CATCHES IT AND THROWS IT BACK TO HICCUP who's like "Thanks bud" 🤩🤩🤩 literally so badass go watch it!! It's ep14 frozen min 17:40

I really liked the relationship Snotlout and Astrid created with each other's dragon 🥺

HOOKFANG'S WINGBLAST AND STORMFLY'S SINGLE-SPINESHOT ARE HELLA BADASS... I love how they worked together this time 🥺

DUDE JAHDHSJAJJJSA ppl really underestimate Ruff's cleverness, this bish really gets Tuff to do the dumbest things just to enjoy looking at him hurting himself JAHDHSJAH😂

TOOTHLESS REALLY JUST BIT AN EEL'S HEAD OFF TO SAVE HICCUP🥺

Baby toothless is high🥺

"Uh, okay. That one was a little close to the one good leg" JAHDHAHSHA ISTG I LOVE THIS DUDE

Johan hates Snotlout for breaking his stuff

Tuff got Macey the Mace from Trader Johan

Astrid looks hot without her shoulder pads

Ok but Dagur looks so weird without his viking hat in this show

The baby thunderdrums are adorable - BING BAM AND BOOM

NOOO STOICK JUST LEFT THORNADO 🥺

OHHH SO ALVIN WAS ACTUALLY FROM BERK and he was Stoick's best friend

Snotlout and Hiccup are parallels of Alvin and Stoick

Ok but that trick Snotlout did was amazing, he really had Hookfang do a lil typhoomerangs move and then the wingblast🤩

I FINISHED IT OMG NOW ONTO RTTE!!

[autisticandroids]

sorry about this. i don't know if it's worth apologizing for this shit anymore but this is a particularly bad one. anyway. #mpregpocalypse.

okay so like. before i start this post. here's some background reading. not all of it is directly related but all of it has to do with vibes.

x / x / x / x / x / x / x / x / x / x / x / x / x / x / x / x

anyway. been thinking about a really horrible mpreg au, as is my trademark apparently. in this case it's like. okay. season six. dean and lisa break up. we're assuming that cas is doing like. a good amount of deanwatching so he's like. paying attention. monitoring.

so like. at time of breakup, lisa was like. two weeks pregnant. it is dean's. so cas is like..... well i don't want dean to be tied to this woman since he clearly doesn't want to be. but i don't want to just destroy what is technically his progeny. so what if i just. yoinked it. and kept it in stasis in my grace. for the future. when dean is Ready To Retire And Be A Father. yeah. i think i'm being called to do that.

anyway once he goes godstiel he's like. well, dean can retire now :3. in fact, he will retire :3. nothing will ever touch or bother him again :3. also i am god and can do what i want :3. so why not :3. why shouldn't i have dean's baby :3. so he sort of. impregnates himself with the stolen fetus. but like, he isn't godstiel for that long. less than a month probably. and then of course he walks into a lake.

now, i'm going to play a bit fast and loose with the timeline here, such that cas comes back somewhat earlier and then stays catatonic significantly longer. but like. okay.

cas comes back as emmanuel and he is not like. really visibly pregnant. not obviously so. his clothing is baggy and comfortable so you can't really see it. and emmanuel didn't know he was pregnant.

then cas gets his memories back and is like ooh! how about i lie to dean about this and don't tell him that i stole his and lisa's fetus and impregnated myself with it. i can leave that as a problem for later-me to deal with. and then he takes on sam's hell memories and goes catatonic, without ever telling dean.

but now like. now it's time for reading is fundamental. and cas is now like.... eight or nine months pregnant (or like, the equivalent, whatever that is). like he is visibly, obviously pregnant. he is also like. avoiding things in a different way than he was before.

so when dean shows up cas is immediately like, hi dean! look i'm having your baby isn't that wonderful? and leaps into dean's arms bridal style.

and this is like, a whole nightmare. because like. first of all dean didn't know cas was pregnant and dumped him in an insane asylum. second of all dean is like. so angry with cas. and he desperately wants to take that anger out on him. but in canon reading is fundamental, he can't, because cas is too vulnerable and too avoidant, and it makes him feel guilty. this is intensified hugely here, because cas is all the things he is in reading is fundamental and also pregnant.

dean also can't really demand that cas fight for them, either. i mean, he could, but it's a significantly more uncomfortable proposition.

and also like, cas won't really give an answer when asked how this happened. or rather, he does give an answer: "dean gave me a child when he made love to me under the beautiful moonlight." but that's... obviously untrue. like, dean and cas have never had sex. like cas would really like it to be true, and he's in a mental state where he can make himself believe something if he really really wants to. but dean knows it isn't true, so he's like. what the hell is going on.

dean decides that it belongs to someone else, and cas has just decided that dean is the father because maybe he wants to please dean, or maybe the circumstances of conception were bad in some way. he suspects crowley as the actual father. the other option he considers, that cas somehow acquired dean's dna and impregnated himself on purpose, is too uncomfortable to consider. it suggests among other things too much... knowing queerness, on cas' part.

anyway the main purpose of this au is the literalization of cas being corrupted and made vulnerable by dean in reading is fundamental, like. the literalization of "it took everything to get me here." and thinking about how dean would react to a cas who he absolutely cannot be angry with, who he absolutely cannot force to fight. like, the honey cas shtick actually fully working and deflecting dean's anger. but there's some other notes.

one: if they actually end up in purgatory, cas still runs away from dean. he gives birth alone in purgatory, and when dean finds him, he has the baby with him. they don't really talk about it, and cas still doesn't tell dean where the baby actually came from. like when he eventually tells dean it will definitely be post purgatory.

two: the baby is going to be like. fairly monstrous. like technically it has two human genetic parents, but there are several factors that make it not very human. first of all, cas, when he was godstiel, did alter it to make it more his own. because he wanted it to be his and dean's baby. so it's definitely a nephil. in fact, more than a nephil, since cas is significantly more than an angel at the time. second of all, it did share a womb with a LOT of leviathans so there is some... leftover effect from that. it's a little bit leviathanish, definitely. not to mention all the monster souls. third of all, there's the whole thing of cas spending most of the pregnancy with hallucifer (which is imo a chunk of lucifer's grace) in his head, so that must have some effect. basically that baby is a fun new species and has many terrifying traits. it's probably a flesh eater.

consultants on this post: @seragamble, @smokerdean, @kenobians

[paintedwarpony]

CRITICAL ROLE REWATCH C2E110

(And further ranting and raving and campaign predictions...)

Hey guess what I'm back to talk about today you guys?

Verin Thelyss? Always. But not for this episode.

HOW ABOUT SOME MORE GODDAMN HINTED MULTICLASSED EODWULF.

Yep. You bet.

For those of you just joining this Ted Talk I posed a theory months ago that Eodwulf is NOT infact multiclassed as a paladin for the Raven Queen/Matron of Ravens as most of the fandom has considered. But is something far more dangerous and terrifying.

That Eodwulf is in fact multiassed as a War Domain Cleric.

WHICH IS BAD.

VERY VERY BAD.

At least from a D&D combat campaign point of view. Because essentially it creates an absolute malestrom of a NPC. And it turns the gut to think of the kind of fight it would put the Nein through.

*coughTPKcough*

Because the facts are this. Eodwulf is already a very highly trained, extremely powerful wizard, which is dangerous in and of itself. Add to that fact that he's ALSO a homebrewed Volstrucker and considered one of Ikithon's elites. That means there's going to be all kinds of shit mixed up in that bag of tricks that we haven't seen or yet to speculate.

My basis as to why I think Eodwulf is a cleric of some kind leans heavily on the fact that Matt Mercer himself very often grumbles and complains during campaign about how "unfair" it is that the Nein have two clerics. Yet to date the Nein have not actually gone to combat with a full party that includes a cleric (that may change with the Tomb Takers, who knows) but its certainly not an oversight by any means. I'm positive Matt is saving the use of a cleric enemy for a particularly nasty encounter or series of encounters.

Because lets be real

Clerics will fuck some shit up no matter what their domain is. Between the ridiculously long list of spells they have access to and the ability to pop other members of their team back up clerics are brawlers in the disguise of supports.

NOW HERE'S WHERE IS GETS DANGEROUS CONCERING EODWULF.

Considering Eodwulf is a wizard, and a homebrewed Volstrucker at that theres going to be alot of fire power there but Wizards are notorious glass canons unless handled or multiclassed correctly. Caleb is EXTREMELY powerful mage wise BUT he still follows wizard format to balance him from becoming to powerful. At lvl 13 his AC 15 (jumps to 16 with Mage Armor) and he has 96HP. They're at a point of the campaign where they are coming up against creatures that deal out damage in the 50s, 60s, 70s, or more in one shot. And in turn the Nein themselves are starting to be able to do that kind of damage back.

Which if Eodwulf was just a wizard played by wizard stats, even just slightly homebrewed, wouldn't make him much of a threat.

BUT THROW CLERIC IN THERE AND MAKE IT A WAR DOMAIN CLERIC?

You just turned that glass canon into a GODS DAMNED SHERMAN TANK.

That gives Eodwulf access to martial weapons, heavy armor and a PLEATHORA of other equipment that most wizards could only look longingly through a shop window at before. Not to mention the spell list expansion. His AC jumps. His HP jumps. His attack ability skyrockets as he could both cast spells and make (multiple with certain effects) physical attacks in the same round. His magical longevity bolsters as he can save spell slots until more opportune times to but continue to cause damage with physical strikes.

Not to mention the aspect of keeping the rest of his side of the fight up. Healing up other Volstrucker, Astrid, fucking Ikithon himself to keep them in combat. Hell even using FUCKING REVIVIFY to bring one back if he needs to.

Counterspell? Got it. Cure Wounds? Got it. Guiding Strike? Yep got that, too. Divine Intervention? Sure thing! Fireball? Pssht, for sure.

Considering the hint in C2E110 that Eodwulf favors electricity the same way Caleb favors fire I wouldn't be surprised if he has friggin' Chained Lighting as a go to favorite spell.

BUT I DIGRESS

Some more hints came into focuse during C2E110 to support this theory but the biggest one was said by Eodwulf himself. When questioned about what he did on the front lines Eodwulf admitted:

"I am not much of a front line fighter..."

Its kind of a throwaway line BUT is very much known and considered within D&D that paladins (like Fjord) are considers front line fighter types. But wizards AND CLERICS OF ALL DOMAINS are considered SUPPORT LINE. That they hang back and try to stay out of the thick of danger. Despite the abilities of a cleric to be absolutely savage in combat, as displayed by Jester and Caduceus over the campaign, they're still considered 'support/support line' classes.

It might not be a huge hint but the only time at the table Eodwulf showed any small bit of his own personality was when he bragged just a little about himself and admitted to liking being called a 'living magical weapon', he was also incredibly honest and forthright when he answered questions or spoke about their duty, parents, the torture that he'd been put through at the hands of Ikithon and his faith in the Matron of Ravens was no secret and peppered casually into his conversation. I think that if he was in fact a paladin Edowulf would not hesitate to talk about his pride at serving the Matron of Ravens AND the Empire in direct combat. A wiz-pally combo like that would be formidable but...

A Wiz-War Cleric combo thats a homebrewed Volstrucker and backed by the goddess of death...

Its gonna get real ugly really fast for the Nein if they have to fight him.

I fully believe Eodwulf can be flipped to the Nein's favor but I think to manage that he needs to be separated from Ikithon AND Astrid. During C2E110 he took ALL of his cues from Astrid, looking at her EVERY TIME before starting to speak or reacting to anything. He only acted a little more independent when they were outside the tower. Everything about Eodwulf's demeanor and behavior suggests someone so very lost and used to being bullied or directed one way or another that he doesn't think twice to follow instructions or vomit back up beliefs he was 'taught' but might not be his own. People like that bury their personalities and only find their way to the surface when they're separated from the supervision of their influence. Caleb as expressed multiple times he wants to win both his friends back with a much heavier emphasis on Astrid than Eodwulf. Astrid seems a much more difficult person to turn to their side imo and habors to many secrets and ulterior motives and its worrisome the way she does execute her will over Edowulf. Its clear by some of the interactions at the table that Astrid was very much the 'leader' of the Blumentrio, as she several times tried to cue Caleb with looks to stop or change his behavior and actions. Caleb has been free of Ikithon (and Astrid's) influence for so long now and grown so much in the care of his found family it didn't even cause him to balk but it worries me that if Astrid were introduced into the Nein her influence and manipulations that she does still hold over Eodwulf may start to sink in and control Caleb again as well. The encounter certainly rattled him and left him repeatedly insisting "freeing" her specifically over the course of the campaign since.

But thats a whole different can of worms...

If the Nein turn Astrid to their cause I'm almost positive Eodwulf will follow her. He cued to her FAR more than he did to Ikithon and that speaks volumes.

But I would so much like to see Eodwulf on his own, see his personality and see his own decision to join the Nein's side or not.

But truly... if the answer is 'not'...

Its not going to be good...

[princekirijo]

if i were to ask you for a yukamitsu infodump would you do it?

Speaking of which, can we have a yukamitsu infodump?

Anon I am vibrating at the speed of light that's how happy you've just made me. I will infodump about them no problem no questions asked. This got ridiculously long so I have to put a read more in. Enjoy me incomprehensibly screaming about my favorite ship of all time 💀

Ok so yukamitsu. It's honestly my favorite ship/pairing out of any media ever because I think it's so well done and there's a LOT of material for it in canon. So ok to start off the beginning. It's very obvious from the start that Yukari dislikes/distrusts Mitsuru because she blames her for what happened to her father (she's basically the closest she can get to the Kirijo Group so I can understand why she directs most of her anger at her). Now Mitsuru I think can tell that Yukari doesn't like her but doesn't let it show that it bothers her. I think it does upset Mitsuru a little because we see her getting sad at Yakushima when Yukari lashes out at her and also after the love hotel mission. Speaking of the love hotel mission in the female route as far as I know they can literally end up in a room together under the influence of the shadow (like femc and Akihiko and it's very heavily implied that the same thing happened because Mitsuru gets very flustered and says "oh nothing happened") which is like mega gay. So there is tension between the two at the start for good reason to be honest.

But after the Yakushima stuff Yukari starts to shift the blame towards the Kirijo Group itself as opposed to Mitsuru so the tension between them alleviates a bit. Now the drama CD that I listened to yesterday was set during the summer school stuff. And in that the tension between the two was present BUT it was now because Yukari was annoyed with Mitsuru over something that she couldn't quite understand. Until she realizes that it wasn't Mitsuru that was upsetting her exactly but herself. Because she could see that Mitsuru was taking on too much work AND YUKARI COULDN'T FIND A WAY TO HELP HER. She was upset with her own helplessness to help Mitsuru if that makes sense. Mitsuru realizes that Yukari was upset with her taking on too much responsibility and the cd ends with Mitsuru asking Yukari specifically to help her with student council work because she wanted to spend time with her DEAR FRIEND and COMPANION. Now look that's pretty gay if you ask me ok. I don't go out of my way to hang out with friends and call them my companions unless I'm crushing/interested in them in that way. Also to make amends Mitsuru offers Yukari the use of her private shower which you know, that's a pretty big deal.

Then fast forward a few months (big P3 spoilers here) and we get to Mitsuru's dad dying and Yukari recovering the true recording of her dad. The recording is important because it basically removes any of the blame Yukari had towards Mitsuru over her dad dying by showing that her dad sacrificed himself to stop the crazy experiments and also showed that Yukari's dad loved her. So Yukari knows what it's like to lose a parent you're close to. And she can see that Mitsuru is in so much pain from losing her own father. She goes looking for her just before the Kyoto trip because she heard she wasn't going and convinces her to come because she knew it would do her good. Then god the Kyoto scene. THE KYOTO SCENE MAN KILLS ME. Mitsuru breaking down and admitting that her whole reason for fighting was to protect her father (which nobody else knew) and now he was gone she didn't have a reason to live. Then Yukari literally slapping some sense into her and reminding her that she had other reasons to live and that she had to uphold her father's legacy and get rid of the dark hour for both their fathers' sakes. And then Mitsuru turning around and thanking Yukari and asking her to stand by her side until the end. Ok aside from that sounding weirdly like a marriage vow (til death do us part pretty fucking gay Mitsuru) it's also a sign that Mitsuru is starting to trust others. The only other time she ever made a vow/promise similar to this is to herself to protect her father and relieve him of his burden no matter what. AND YET HERE SHE IS MAKING A SIMILAR VOW TO YUKARI. A VOW THAT CAUSES HER TO AWAKEN TO HER ULTIMATE PERSONA AND STRENGTH HER RESOLVE TO LIVE AND DEFEAT THE DARK HOUR NO MATTER WHAT. Don't touch me I am CRYING. Also in the middle of all that Yukari is like "oh let's take a bath together" and Mitsuru BLUSHES. Mitsuru only blushes twice in the main story (not including her Social Link). And both of those times as because of Yukari. Also I'm sorry who asks if you want to take a bath together I don't know about you but I'm not gonna turn around to my "best friend" and be like ahaha wanna take a bath and get naked together :] like who does that Yukari unless you're pretty gay for said person.

Then ok I could sit here and scream about the drama CDs New Moon and Full Moon (which fun reminder that they are canon :]) but this is super long already and I still have more to talk about. But they happen after the Kyoto trip and are incredibly gay. The whole thing can be summed up by Yukari shooting down a helicopter to save Mitsuru and "aiming with the power of her heart". She says that word for word by the way. Oh and Mitsuru's mother literally approves of their relationship and wants to meet Yukari.

Then after that there's just little scenes between them. For example in December when all of SEES are deciding what to do about Ryoji. Mitsuru goes into Yukari's room to talk to her about the whole thing and the first thing Yukari says is "aww are you feeling lonely ;)" in a really teasing (borderline flirty imo) voice and Mitsuru giggles and is like "are you teasing me". Like that little exchange is so playful and it's so nice to see them just bonding casually given everything that's happened between them before. And then they both resolve not to give up and to fight Nyx together no matter what. Which is super cute and gay. There's also a scene around this stage in the fourth movie where Yukari seems to be almost suicidal and Mitsuru getting really concerned about her. This even leads to Io (because the ultimate personas don't show up until the very end in the movies which was weird but anyway) trying to attack Yukari and Mitsuru and the others freaking out. I'm not doing that scene justice because it's been a while since I saw the last movie but it's very gay.

Then there's the Answer. After Yukari breaks down at the thought of not being able to rescue the Protagonist who comforts her?? Mitsuru. Mitsuru tells her that she didn't actually agree with what she was doing but she didn't want Yukari to fight alone and wanted to repay her for helping her deal with the loss of her father. And then she says she considers Yukari standing by her side during the main story was one of the most cherished moments of her life. Because remember up until this point Mitsuru had massive difficulty opening up to anyone and Yukari was the first person she truly opened up to. This scene makes me cry every time because like to see Mitsuru be so supportive of Yukari and gently reminder that she has friends to lean on and their hug just makes me so soft and tender.

That's all the canon stuff. As for my own feelings well I really started shipping them because of everything that happens in canon but like the idea of them ending up together makes me so happy and soft. Both of them had pretty rough childhoods and they both lost their fathers whom they were close to so like they understand each other on a fundamental level. Yukari was the first person that Mitsuru ever properly opened up to and Yukari also really cares for Mitsuru even when she was apprehensive of her and blamed her for the death of her father. I just think they're perfect for each other and the idea of them being happily married makes me so soft. Which is pretty much why I have a whole au about my fankids for them.

Ultimately I just think that their relationship in canon is really powerful and really well done. The ship is a beautiful example of enemies to friends to lovers and I just love them with all my little gay heart.

[withoneheadlight]

I was tagged by @memes-saved-me <3<3<3<, Thank you, love <3<3<3<

~

1. why did you choose your url?

It’s because, one day, just a few months after starting to write again, feeling like I was sweating blood every time I had to sit down and do this, Neil Gaiman made me feel the most understood I‘ve ever felt when it comes to writing:

“It's a weird thing, writing.

Sometimes you can look out across what you're writing, and it's like looking out over a landscape on a glorious, clear summer's day. You can see every leaf on every tree, and hear the birdsong, and you know where you'll be going on your walk.

And that's wonderful.

Sometimes it's like driving through fog. You can't really see where you're going. You have just enough of the road in front of you to know that you're probably still on the road, and if you drive slowly and keep your headlamps lowered you'll still get where you were going.

And that's hard while you're doing it, but satisfying at the end of a day like that, where you look down and you got 1500 words that didn't exist in that order down on paper, half of what you'd get on a good day, and you drove slowly, but you drove.

And sometimes you come out of the fog into clarity, and you can see just what you're doing and where you're going, and you couldn't see or know any of that five minutes before.

And that's magic.”

He summed it up in another interview like this:

“Writing a novel is like driving through the fog with one headlight out. You can’t see very far ahead of yourself, but every now and again the mists will clear.”

i printed it and got it on my wall, too. so i don't forget.

and guess what’s one of my all-time favorite songs? yeah, you got it :D

also, that's the amount of mental enlightenment I go through life with: half the standard equipment. So it fits me pretty well i guess.

2. any side-blogs? if you have them, name them and why you have them.

yeah i’ve got a few. most of them to stash things i like, in general or in other fandoms, but in harringrove i have @thequarryatnight as a fic/hc storage of sorts.

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

uh, technically a few years?. I've had a few different accounts that I always ended up forgetting about. But had never really used Tumblr until this past last year and a half.

4. do you have a queue tag?

I use the most simplistic 'queue' ... when I remember to put it on XD (which, I should, because I'm always so worried people think I'm in here ignoring them when in reality what I usually have is the longest queue)

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

Uh, long and boring story? xD. I started posting harringrove in my main a few months after I started using the account again, along with posts/reblogs for other fandoms. But with Tumblr being the chaos it is (for me at least, and for the way my poor add brain works) it felt pretty overwhelmed, having so many different things in one place, and never being able to find anything so I decided to make this one side-blog only for posting my fics, but then people started following me here and suddenly there were a bunch of them and then suddenly it felt like it made more sense?, rebloging things in here where more people could see them? so I made @thequarryatnight and started reblogging my stuff in there, so I wouldn't get crazy, and started using this as a more fandomish blog.

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

I love pictures taken from the side? xD, they’ve got this feeling, of looking at someone without them noticing. there’s a longing in there that’s always fascinated me, and steve’s breathtaking in this one (same as billy in my main pic, imo). i like to think billy'd look at him and think ‘fuck’, fall in love for the hundredth time so, yep. I love that pic.

7. why did you choose your header?

Is a picture of Santa Carla at night, aka Santa Cruz, where Lost Boys was filmed. Is my second favorite fictional town (first is Astoria i might have a list) and the feeling of it is just *chef’s kiss*. Had to have it. But I’m thinking of revamping it for the summer? maybe? I’ve got a few ideas, it’s been hard to decide, but I wanna bring out the summery vibe this year.

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

it’s apparently my upside-down kiss one! I'm pretty happy with how it turned out (i used this page since I had 0 idea of how to check this)

9. how many mutuals do you have?

i honestly don't know, but they all are amazing mutuals <3

10. how many followers do you have?

one of the best things about tumblr: doesn't show the follower count <3 (imo)

11. how many people do you follow?

about 1000? xD

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

if saying the first stupid thing that comes to my head in here is considered a shit post, then,t o o m a n y.

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

I've been trying to reduce the number of times I come checking but still, way too many :D

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won?

nope. never. sometimes i want to leave my opinion in some posts, but i still feel pretty insecure about the language, so i'm perpetually afraid of being misunderstood.

15. how do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts

the ones with something good/bad is gonna happen if you don't reblog? i usually scream internally while i fast-scroll past them while both feeling like bwahhahaha and scared shitless.

16. do you like tag games?

oh i LOVE tag games too much.

17. do you like ask games?

very very much. even if sometimes i repent bc it's hard for me to find the time to answer them xD.

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

dunno but @chichipafarolillos is my personal superstar <3

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

no xD but I really really <3<3<3 my mutuals.

20. tags?

@ghostofjellyfishforgotten @missroserose @rascheln @neonponders @cockasinthebird @thatharringrovehoe @edith-moonshadow @dyingontheharringrovehill @wholeshebangs @irishbeings @smashmouth-hargrove @mourntheantagonist @aestheticchaoss @somuchanemoia @cupidsintern

[greywindys]

On 2doc and seasons...

The presence of summer on SM is unmissable, imo, the frame which houses the story of the album. It’s most with the most obvious in the sequence of “Chalk Table Towers” to “The Pink Phantom.” 2D leaves in the spring, hoping that Murdoc his friend or lover will be there when he returns. This leads into “The Pink Phantom,” where we learn the resolution - that this person he hopes was waiting, hasn’t. As a few have pointed out already, this fits in well with what we’ve seen in P6 - 2D maintains more of leadership role with the band, begins to exist on his own (Desolé), seems committed to his own personal growth, presumably hoping his relationship with Murdoc can continue to grow as well. In response, Murdoc feels abandoned and unsure of himself as he watches his own role in the band change. He shuts himself away in the basement for weeks to months, “forgetting” 2D for a period of time.

In a broader sense, summer holds symbolic significance to 2D and Murdoc’s relationship over the years they’ve known each other. Their time, both as forces in each other’s lives, has its beginning on a late summer day - D-Day. This is quickly followed by their time in Jamaica in 2000 (late spring/early summer). We won’t ever know what really happened in Jamaica, but what’s undeniable is this: 2D and Murdoc spent a significant amount of time alone together and it’s inevitable that they got to know one another on a deeper level than either probably expected. Fast forward to P2, and they’re basking the in the success of their most famous album, Demon Days, released earlier that spring. Fast forward some more to P5, and Murdoc is in prison while 2D is at the helm of the Gorillaz brand, releasing a work that’s fully his own. 

The TNN being a summer album holds weight to me. In a way, you can apply the (albeit loose) plot structure of SM to the passing of time from TNN to SM. While Murdoc literally leaves by going to jail, 2D is the one who does the significant “leaving,” imo, by mentally and emotionally detaching from him for a period of time. He writes his own album, does his own promo etc, without Murdoc. We know from TNN that he forgives Murdoc in the end and will “always think about him,” and “hopes he’ll be there when he (2D) returns.” When we just had P5 to go off of, it seemed Murdoc was still there, ready to embrace him back. But SM raises questions, from his feelings of abandonment (Desolé), his manipulations (Aries), his social withdrawal (Pac-Man)...is everything alright, really? Was he there for 2D at the end of everything? From the tracks on SM, particularly,”The Pink Phantom,” the answer seems to be, “no.”

It’s also worth noting that Song Machine is being released now, in the middle of fall, a time that conjures up images of wilting flowers, bare branches on trees. It fits in with the persistent theme of sadness and longing over a struggling relationship that we hear on SM. It’s, well, sad.

Despite that, I don’t look at the songs on SM as a death knell for 2Doc or anything. When I think of fall and winter, I think of the dead leaves and snow concealing the growth happening beneath them. Eventually, the withered plants break down and nourish the soil beneath them so that everything can grow again in the spring. I guess what I’m trying to say is, that, while I believe there are a variety of dreary interpretations one can draw from some of these songs, I see SM as a vital piece of a larger story (as much of story as we can piece together from Gorillaz lore, that is lol) that’s yet to come. There’s still a season 2 that’s yet to come, and who know what else beyond that.

I also think of the final track on the standard version, “Momentary Bliss.” If the album is 2D’s as it’s been implied, then he chose to begin and end this era with this song (starting the videos with MB, ending the album w/ MB). There isn’t enough space for me to get into all the interpretations of MB that exist out there, but what’s worth considering is the change in tone, from mourning and yearning, wilting to determination, energy...rebirth? In the fall and winter, things die, and in the spring and summer, they grow again. Hmm...things to think about.

[hangingslothcentral]

sirius black was done dirty and i’m mad about it

So you might have seen my big post about how dumbledore is a scumbag for his treatment of Harry, but like, Sirius was done so dirty by this motherfucker I cannot even. It makes me genuinely furious.

Think about it for a minute; Sirius is this wildcard kid. He’s raised in an abusive household, which he eventually flees, and ends up living with the Potters. His parents, in addition to being abusive, are also wizardnazi sympathisers, and Sirius’ younger brother, Reggie, grows up to actually BE a wizardnazi (he ends up being a crucial thorn in Voldy’s side and turns coats later, but he has to have actually joined in earnest).

Sirius is not a quiet, broken little thing in a straightforward sense. He’s a particular flavour of damaged which results in him being loud and brash. He simultaneously loves and loathes himself; he prances around like a show pony and kisses anything that breathes but ultimately beleives himself to be unlovable. He acts fast and rash because he doesn’t have a strong handle on his emotions. He doesn’t understand what healthy love and affection looks like, and often he’s mean to people because keeping them at arms length is less scary than letting them in. When he does allow people to get close, he is fierce, frightening and irrationally protective of them. Stand between Sirius and his friends and he will rip you limb from limb. Because he doesn’t really value himself or his own life, he’s way more likely to throw himself into dangerous situations, either because it allows him to feel fear in a way he can control, or because he genuinely doesn’t care if he lives or dies but DOES care if his people get hurt. Probably most of the time it’s a combination of the two. This is why his dog animagus form is so appropriate for him, imo; he’s not loyal and obedient like a labrador, he’s protective, he’s pack-driven, and he will protect his pack At All Costs.

Dumbledore has watched this kid roll in from the Black family and get sorted into Gryffindor. Dumbledore is a smart guy; he knows this will complicate Sirius’ relationships with his family. No biggy, really. Dumbledore has other shit going on; Voldybaldy is gaining power with frightening speed and ability. Every day the war gets closer and closer to Dumbledore and the school he has chosen as his stomping ground. Sirius getting ostracised is probably a good thing from a distance; the likelihood of him becoming a Death Eater is slimmer.

As he progresses through school Sirius is getting to be more and more of a nuissance. He, James, and Peter are in and out of detention all the time. He notices Sirius is becoming preoccupied with Remus Lupin; this could be a good thing in two respects. Remus is even less likely to end up outside of society if he has social ties, and you hoped him to make friends at school for this reason when you fought for his place. Sirius and James might even shake Remus out of his shell a little bit, maybe direct him towards being able to control himself when in wolf form, the way Fenrir Greyback can. Only this wolf would be on your side (maybe I should also write a ‘How Dumbledoodoo fucked over my boy Remus’ too). Dumbledore likely also hopes, as Remus assumes, that Remus will be a guiding light to his new friends and perhaps curb some of their less desirable habits. But the shenanigans continue, only more on the DL, more efficiently. Remus and Sirius become closer than Dumbledore had anticipated because he has a ton of internalised homophobia and assumes straight until proven queer and it won’t have occured to him that people he did not previously think of as particularly important have so complex a set of inner lives as to be creatures that fall for each other.

The extent to which Sirius will do anything, a n y t h i n g, to strike back at those who have hurt the people he loves becomes clear in his fifth year when he sends Snape into the tunnel under the whomping willow after Remus. Can you imagine how furious Remus would be with him for using him that way? Can you imagine how hurt he would be that Sirius did not even consider how he would feel if he killed someone? None of this would have occured to Sirius. He wanted to see Snape torn to shreds. Wanted him hurt, dead. Wanted him to suffer. How dare Snape insult his Moony? Did Snape think it was cool and fun for this to happen to him every month? Did he think it was a fun little puzzle to solve? Remus is not a puzzle and he is suffering, but he’s not meek and vulnerable, and he can stand up for himself. The obvious answer to this problem, to Sirius, is let Snape solve the riddle and then let Remus rip his head off. Easy, straightforward.

Thank god James went to Dumbledore and explained what was going on because had Remus actually killed or even hurt Snape in his wolf form, he may never have forgiven Sirus for facilitating it. As soon as this is pointed out to Sirius, it is plain to everyone there that he intensely wishes he could take his actions back but there is nothing he could do. And that moment where the egg cracks, where he realises he almost fucked up in a way that would mean one of the people he cares about most in the universe would never speak to him again, that would have happened when Dumbledore called him, James, Snape and Peter to his office after Snape’s life had been saved. Dumbledore would have watched these emotions blossom on Sirius’ face (maybe even sneaking a peak at his thoughts whilst he was at it). He would have known the intensity of Sirius’ feelings, his regret, and the reasoning as to why this unfolded. Dumbledore is not a stupid man. This is why he allows them all to return to school life as normal immediately afterwards with no more serious repurcussions than a slap on the wrist.

So at this point Dumbledore knows - does not suspect, k n o w s - that Sirius is reckless, loyal to a fault, and would go to any lengths imaginable to defend his friends, and their honour he probably also knows now Sirius is madly in love with Remus but that’s neither here not there even if it is important to note.

Time goes on, they finish school and become members of the Order. It’s not confirmed in the books but it’s fairly safe to assume from context that to be a member of the Order you have to have Dumbledore’s trust, in some capacity. In practice, that means Dumbledore reckons he’s got something on you and when it comes down to it, he’s the one holding the cards so you’d have to side with him for your own benefit. He’s earned James, Peter has never been a particular problem, Sirius owes Dumbledore his honour, and Remus would have had literally no opportunities in life were it not for Dumbledore. Thus, a loyal set of additions to his little wizardnazi fighting team.

The prophecy happens, James and Lily’s son is implicated, you know this part of the story. And they are killed by Voldy and Harry is packed off to the Dursleys to become an obscurial and the rest is history. But Sirius. S I R I U S. Sirius ends up in Azkaban for murdering Peter and a bunch of muggles. Yeah, surface level, to an outside observer, maybe this would make sense. Sirius was always a troublemaker, he came from a pureblood, traditionally Slytherin family with ties to voldemort. It would make sense it was him that betrayed Lily and James and also that he would kill Peter for challenging him. IF you only had a very scant awareness of Sirius Black, which we have already established, Dumbledore does not. He knows quite a lot about Sirius, actually. Has a firm grip on what he’s like.

See, Dumbledore never offers to be James and Lily’s secret keeper. It wouldn’t matter that he was an obvious choice, even if that was the reason he gave them. Voldemort is scared of Dumbledore. He would not have dared attack him, and besides, that is just not how the Fidelius Charm operates. Let it be one of the friends, and Dumbledore assumes James and Lily would choose Sirius because it’s Sirius, and he probably would have nudged them in that direction. Why? Because Sirius is rash and loyal to a T. If anyone is going to get killed, weaken the Fidelius charm by having a bunch of people as secret keepers instead of just one because he dies, it’s Sirius. Oh he’d go down in a blaze of righteous glory. But Sirius, by now, has learnt this about himself. He knows. So he tells James and Lily to choose Peter instead.

Dumbledore may not have explicitly known this, but he would have known that Sirius would have died before he betrayed his friends. He was probably actually counting on it. Knowing he was at the wreckage at the Potter’s home in Godric’s Hollow would have, should have been enough for Dumbledore to add up these pieces of information and infer that it was not Sirius who was secret keeper. The Fidelius Charm did not break; Peter gave the secret up. And when Sirius went to confront Peter, if Dumbledore had not yet worked this out, he should have guessed at this point what had happened, because of how Sirius was, what he’d have felt about Peter betraying Lily and James.

Anyway, none of the guessing really matters because had Dumbledore even visited Sirius just once, before his trial or after, he’d have heard the full story and put the pieces together. But he didn’t. He didn’t bother because Sirius wasn’t directly important to his plans. Because Sirius was supposed to die and weaken the charm anyway so Dumbledore could have his baby martyr. It didn’t go exactly as Dumbledore had thought, but it worked out mostly to his devices, so why bother asking Sirius for the details? Who cares if he is wrongfully imprisoned? He was always a pain in the neck anyway. 

I could go on but this is actually really long now hahahahahaaaaaaaa. yes so consider this pt. 2 of why dumbledore is the worst.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #317

i’m tired as a motherfucker and don’t feel like thinking up some lyrics, so here, jus have the survey.

Have you volunteered in the past 6 months? No. French fries or onion rings? French fries. I don't like onion rings. Do you suffer from anxiety? Very badly. Favorite healthy snack? "Apples and peanut butter are one of them." <<<< Same, actually. Good shit. Favorite Disney movie? Forever and always The Lion King. If you see a bee in your house.. are you going to kill it? I hate to say it, but I'm killing it. Do you normally take a shower in the morning or at night? Morning. Do you have a cat? Yeah. What is your favorite animal? It will always be meerkats. Always. Do you know what time you were born? 10:30 AM, I believe. Do you like McDonalds? I'm gonna be real: I've never understood the McDonald's hate. I enjoy it perfectly fine. I mean it's certainly not gourmet, but I'll choose it over other fast food places sometimes. It's cheap and decent food, imo. What's your favorite flower? Orchids. Have you thought about joining the military? FUCK no. Who is the person that has impacted your life the most? Given my PTSD, I think it's pretty obviously Jason. Have you ever had a pet fish? Yeah, but not a lot. I never enjoyed them much. Have you ever wanted to be on a game show? Not seriously, no. I wouldn't want to be on television. Have you ever vaped? Nah. Who was the last person to give you a hug? Either my niece or nephew. Have you ever been on TV? I don't think so, no. What's your favorite store in the mall? Hot Topic, ugggghhhhh take me there. Has anyone ever told you that you have an accent? Yeah, especially when I was younger when I definitely did have a clear Southern accent. Do you have any piercings? Yeah, six. I have been DYING for a new one lately... How did your parents meet? Work. What was your first word? "Dada." Do you eat more healthy food or junk food? Somewhere in the middle, I'd say. What do you spend too much money on? When it's my own money, tattoos. I think I'll be perfectly capable of doing it, but when I'm employed, I'm going to have to watch how much I invest into those. What is a disturbing episode of an otherwise non-disturbing show? What is a disturbing show (or one you would describe as one) is enjoyable to you? Meeeh I don't watch enough for this. What is the most memorable song in a movie? How about a show? Oh wow, I dunno. "Circle of Life" from TLK is a beauty, as is "Strangers Like Me" from Tarzan. There really are a lot. As for shows, "Carry On My Wayward Son" from Supernatural will immediately get fans screaming the lyrics, haha. However, I don't know if that song properly counts since it wasn't written just for the show, but whatever. What is something you’re grateful for that humans have made/have continued to make exist? What about something that you wish that humans didn’t destroy? The Internet, whew. I wish humans would stop destroying the fucking environment. It's heartbreaking how many woods are wiped away here for construction, only to never be built on... While evil men are commonly talked about, what woman would you consider the most evil? I don't know, but it would probably be a rapist or pedophile. Those are probably the people I abhor most. Do you believe children can be evil? If so, what child from history do you believe to have been the most evil? I don't really think children are born evil, no. I've never heard of a diabolical baby or anything. I think the environment they are raised in molds them as they age. I don't know about the last question. Name one way that music can be bad for humans. It can be depressing sometimes, actually dragging your mood down, especially if you already feel low. What has been one of the most blatant advertising in a movie, show, or music video? Some of these questions are hard man, idfk lol. What book have you read/listened to that “messed you up” (or made you have a lot of negative feelings afterward)? Johnny Got His Gun left me feeling so spiteful towards and disappointed in the world. It definitely made me feel down for a while. If you have a pet, what is the best thing that you have for them (either a toy, a highly rated food, etc)? If you don’t have one but would like one, have you thought about what you would get your pet? We definitely don't have the money for "high quality" stuff. What works, works. Did you ever know anyone who was (previously) a part of a cult? What cult? Were you ever a part of one? No. What is something that is legal right now that really shouldn’t be? I'm stealing the previous person's answer by saying fireworks. They have a horrible effect on animals and PTSD victims and is just litter and a fire hazard. What is a movie you consider successful/good that did not have high reviews? I'm not educated enough on movie rankings. When you met the person you now like, what happened? We hugged and cried a bit lmao. Did you realize anything today? No. What do you want to do today? It'd be nice to get off my ass and get Emerson's birthday pictures into Lightroom so Ashley can finally have them... Can you honestly say you’d risk your life for someone else? I know with certainty I would for some people. Could you forgive a boyfriend or friend who physically hurt you? Ha, nope, byyyyeee~ What’s the cutest thing someone’s ever done for you? Ugh... So one night when I was lying down to go to bed but also texting Jason, I was being playful and joked for him to sing me to sleep. He sent me a video for "The Mortician's Daughter" by Black Veil Brides (one of his favorite bands) and just pasted the lyrics, and I thought it was the cutest fucking thing ever. I went to bed listening to it and just smiling. It's why I just don't listen to it anymore. I shouldn't have even talked about it, soooo next question. What are the top five places you wish you could go before you die? Ummm South Africa, Yellowstone National Park, Germany, Alaska, and the Bahamas, maybe. How many tattoos would you like to have? I'm gonna be a fuckin mural. I want tats pretty much everywhere. What question do you hate to answer? "What do you like to do for fun?" What's your favourite animated or cartoon program? Fullmetal Alchemist. What do you think the greatest invention has been? Electricity. What's your favourite movie quote? I dunno, I don't really have one. Do you prefer digital or analogue clocks? Analogue clocks are way more elegant and can be beautifully decorated. Who is your favorite foreign singer/musician? Do you translate his or her lyrics? If you exclude English-speaking foreign bands, like from the UK, Rammstein for sure. I can translate some of them. Say something in a foreign language? "Liebe" means "love" in German. What is a weather-type that you like that not many others do? Snow, for sure. I've never understood the "ew, snow" type of people. It's so pretty. Granted, it's rare here, so it's more of a treat down here, but still. Who do you know personally that has a nice singing voice? Sara has a beautiful voice. What was the last word you learned? I have no clue, given how bad my memory is becoming... It's hard for me to learn anything nowadays, because it doesn't stick. What is your favorite culture? (that you find most interesting): I'll be honest, I'm not very well-informed on foreign cultures. Due to taking so many classes though, I do find German culture to be quite appealing. They are very serious about honesty (for example, telling someone you're okay when you're not is frowned upon in small talk, even), as well as manners. I would love to experience their lifestyle. Have you ever watched anime porn? I've never watched porn to begin with. If you got paid $3 million to smoke meth one time would you do it? Nope. I'm not risking addiction or death. Are ladybugs cute? Yesssss. Will you leave the house without fragrance on? Yeah, I usually do. Do you make good money doing what you do? I'm unemployed. I've only ever worked minimum wage jobs. What is your favorite fruit? Strawberries, yum. And kiwi. What do you think of horses? I love them! Are you doing something with your life that matters? Ugh, I don't feel like it. Do you like gravy on your mashed potatoes? I hate gravy. What is the dirtiest rap song you have ever heard? Nicole played "WAP" once when I was in the car and I wanted to die. What about a dirty song in any other genre? "Bitches" by Hollywood Undead MIGHT be rap, but idk? What even is their genre???? But anyway, as much as I love the song, it's dirty as shit. What is a genre of music you simply can't stand? Rap, generally. What is, in your opinion, the best way of dealing with a break up? Lots and lots of self-care and focusing on loving yourself and realizing your worth lies in yourself and not another person. What flavor of Doritos do you like best? Cool Ranch, of course. Would you ever go to a comedy club? Yeah, sure. Why is it that photography is becoming a trend? Because it's art, and people enjoy art???????? What is the funniest movie you have ever seen? White Chicks gets me way harder than it should lmao. Would you ever consider dating someone who lived across the country? I guess, so long it was the plan that we'd eventually move in together, and effort was being made to achieve that once we got pretty serious. Do you have a tattoo? If you do, describe the pain you went through when getting it done. Well, I have six, so I'll just talk about my first one, which was on my wrist. It really isn't bad, especially once you've adjusted to the pain. I think the best metaphor would be that it's like lightly pinching a cat scratch. Outlining is the worst part, imo. What is your favorite bookstore? I don't have one. Who was the last person to tell you that you were cute? I have no idea. When was the last time you had a fever? How high did it go? Oh, I couldn't tell you. Those are very rare for me. How many times do you think that you’ve truly been in love before? With who? Twice, with Jason and Sara. Do you prefer French kissing, or regular kissing more, and why? I mean, this depends on the mood as well as how serious we are. Have you ever been married before? How many times? No. Who do you know that gives the best hugs? Summer has always been a big, strong hugger like I am. Have you ever dated someone of the same gender before? Yeah. Who do you consider to be your hero? My mom. Who is your best friend? Tell us about them. Sara. She's a very caring, strong, creative, just overall amazing person who stands firmly for what she feels is right, and we can't forget about her incredible loyalty, nor her absolute adoration for animals, reptiles especially. How much did your car cost? I don't have my own car. What is the last picture you received on your phone of? Sara sent me a photo of Martha, her ball python. Do you have any friends that actually model? No. Do you keep condoms in your room? No, considering I have no reason to. Do you follow any special diet? (dairy free, vegetarian, gluten free etc.) No, but I desperately want to return to being vegetarian. Vegan would be even better, but I know I'm absolutely not capable of that. What is an appliance you don’t have, but would love to have? uhhhhh Which keys on your keyboard are worn out the most? My "a," "s," and "d" from gaming. If you could be any supervillain, which would you be? Ha, I could probably pull off Harley Quinn pretty easily. Though "super"villain sounds a bit strong for her. What’s the most historic thing that has happened in your lifetime? Either Covid or 9/11, probably. What’s the scariest non-horror movie? I personally think the idea behind Johnny Got His Gun is fucking terrifying. What’s the most amazing true story you’ve heard? More beautiful than "amazing," but whatever. I can't think of anything else. Jason's mother actually left his father to go back home to New York when he cheated on her, but he followed her all the way there, and they wound up reconciling and were very happily married since. They were a spectacular couple, and I miss them a lot. What brand are you most loyal to? I have no idea. It's hard to be loyal to any when you're not the one buying products. Where are you not welcome anymore? Well, speaking of him, probably Jason's house, haha... I feel that if I just showed up there, his parents would honestly be super happy to see me and want to catch up, but Jason, not so much. I doubt Colleen would welcome me into her house, either. What’s the most recent show you’ve binge-watched? Avatar: The Last Airbender w/ Sara. What’s a common experience for many people that you’ve never experienced? Just... adult stuff. Paying bills. Having a stable job. Passing their driver's test. What are some misconceptions about your hobby? We'll use forum roleplay here, in which case I know a very common misconception is that it's sexual in nature and is a kink. It's never been that for me. It's about building unique, complex characters in a vast universe of your creativity, meshing with other's. It's a beautiful thing to me. What’s the dumbest thing someone has argued with you about? Oh, I'm sure something with Mom... because she is absolutely never wrong. What’s the longest rabbit hole you’ve been down? Conspiracy theories on YouTube, aha... What odd smell do you really enjoy? I really enjoy the smell of lilacs, though I know people who think they smell too strong and/or just stink. If you had a HUD that showed three stats about any person you looked at, what three stats would you want it to show? Hm, interesting question. Maybe approachability, moral alignment, and mood. What is your favorite flavor of pop tart? I really like the chocolate sundae ones. Gum? I really like fruit-flavored gums, especially watermelon or strawberry. Last song you sang along to? I sang a bit to "Second Chance" by Shinedown. Are you fascinated by rivers? Yeah, sure. Streams, more specifically, because you can see the bottom and walk more safely in them. I love exploring those. Do you live near a volcano? No, and I plan on keeping it that way, haha. How big is the screen on your digital camera? I dunno, the normal size for a Canon? Do you find train whistles comforting? No. What bird is the cutest? Oh, that's so hard. I love the pastel-colored ones, and hummingbirds are like, universally cute. Are you scared to look at your own organs on x-ray or ultrasound? No, that's actually really cool. Do big eyes freak you out? On people? Generally, no. I tend to find them cute, actually, especially on girls, but I've definitely seen people with big eyes that instead look kinda creepy. Have you ever walked on a frozen lake/river? Hm, I'm actually not sure. I don't believe so, though. Have you ever held a real sword? No. Have you ever seen a tree over 100 years old? Uh, realistically, probably? That's not that old in the grand scheme of trees, is it? Do you feel uncomfortable at fancy restaurants? I can sometimes, yes. I feel very out-of-place.

[cozymochi]

this isn't on the list but i saw your ask about your process/asking questions and i guess i have one (IT'S DUMB THOUGH SO LIKE GHSDLKFJSDLSFJKL): what kinds of things do you recommend drawing to practice? like, if you want to build skills but don't necessarily know what to draw? or if that's not a very good question, maybe what's your sketch process?

IT’S NOT DUMB THE ONLy thing dumb is provably bout to be my non-answer 😭😂😬😭😂😬

The best thing I’ve always referred to when wanting to just build skills was draw from life ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ however, considering I’m not around much life since I’m primarily in my room these days, and the only other life tends to be watching tv or also locked in their rooms— which is not interesting to me in the slightest. Also the bumble bees outside my window leave too fast. So i just look for some stock photos on shutterstock or something and draw something from up there

But that also depends on what im focusing on- back when i wasn’t burnt out on drawing DB- since they were all more reflective of actual people I’d just be running to shutterstock and practicing the form of muscular athletic folk. Which i imagine if i was looking at real life people would be more effective but meh gotta work with what i got. Nowadays i think my mind is less focused on a figure and more on basic shapes jfhfhfhgjlkl

skeTCH PROCESS ...also depends on what the heck im actually drawing lololol i tend to just go in with NO PLAN AT ALL when i open up medibang

like my last answer said it boils down to just being bored, wanting a thing to exist, making it, and just keeping it even if it’s shitty (even if i dont know i just... go)

I guess if imma add onto that last part, the bright side of keeping crappy sketches of vague ideas is actually going back later and possibly actually making something of note out of ‘em. So maybe whatever i might have thought before can actually...be a thing?? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I’m sorta doing that right now because I’m art blocked on my actual priority.

I keep hearing of people so focused on a thing being “perfect” they just up and delete or erase their entire work and im just??? Yo i get it but imo I wouldn’t do that. I have plenty of canvases of crappy sketches but, man i say keep them anyway. I should probably mention my sketches dont really resemble much of anything outside of a bunch of random lines lololol

i recycle my cruddy sketches a lot. A lot of my stuff is probably older than one would think purely because the sketch existed probably months before i actually ... grabbed it and turned it into something of note. Im just a case of:

Actually @dbzebra all this is a better response to ur initial ask im 😂😂😂

[youhearstatic]

Bro... the paladin Barry au in your tags,, I'm SCREAMING (also if you had anything about that au you wanted to share I would DIE but obviously only if you want to)

First let me show you the inspiration for this AU:

[Start description: A screenshot from Neverwinter MMORPG showing a pale skinned human with dark hair and stubble wearing bright, golden armor and holding up a glowing sword. End description.]

This is Barry - paladin of Lathander. Along with @tanger-catnip‘s Elven wizard Lup, dozens of hours were sunk into that game. (We probably would have continued playing but their overhaul made the playstyle a lot less fun IMO.)

So here’s some highlights of the paladin AU, below the cut because this is gonna get long...

It opened with Barry in an inn, at the end of riding his circuit, about to make his report to the Order and have some non assigned time. 

Okay, you know what? Lemme just share some of that opening: 

Stripped out of his armor and just in his jeans and undershirt, Barry sank gratefully to the bed. He sat on the edge with a still-warm roll in his hand. The roll was soft and fresh and not something he’d cooked for himself over a campfire so he wasn’t going to question what the meat in it was. It was sheer luxury compared to his rough camps of the last few months.

He downed the roll in a few bites and laid back on the bed. He’d been riding circuit in a rather remote area since mid-winter. Most of the time he’d slept in his chainmail to be more ready to fight at short notice. But the worst of the problems on the route had been dealt with. A nasty group of imps were cleared out, a camp of trolls dealt with, and a hundred other problems taken care of. There were towns that would be safer. And of course the north pass was more ready for travelers and traders now that spring was beginning.

He was once again free to follow divine inspiration instead of the bureaucracy of his order. Neither of those was fair though. The work he’d been doing was necessary. And divine inspiration wasn’t exactly what had led him in most of his time.

Or maybe it was, he didn’t really know. If he found himself on a road maybe he was led there by his calling even if it didn’t come with a booming voice in his head or a divine light guiding him. In more than thirty years he’d never personally experienced either of those.

With that thought in mind, he closed his eyes and tried Divine Sense. This was usually what he did when he was wasn’t under direct orders from the cathedral. Whenever he tried this, the best he could hope for was some vague sense of ‘east’ or ‘inland’ that could have been anything, certainly could have been his own thoughts. Still, he concentrated on letting Lathander work through him, direct his thoughts to somewhere he was needed, somewhere he was destined to…

He was up and reaching for his armor before he was even aware. Despite years of experience donning his gear in a hurry, he couldn’t yank things on fast enough. Once his chain mail was in place, he began buckling his chest plate before he stopped.

This problem he’d sensed was nearby… very near. If he went blazing downstairs again in full plate, shield on his back, and mace at his side, then that was a clear indication that he was ready to fight. Fighting might be avoided if he were calmer, more cautious.

Everything in him rebelled at the thought. He was needed now and he needed his gear. He didn’t slow to consider anything else. Once his plate armor pieces were strapped on over his mail he pulled on his helm and grabbed his mace and shield.

So the idea was that he was being directed - and far more overtly than he’d ever been before - to save Lup. She was in trouble very, very close, and he (taking a page from Magnus) rushed in to save her.

Only she’s not so happy to be saved. She and Taako had gotten mixed up in some nefarious stuff and Taako has gone missing. The bad guys of the moment have brought her in to account for her missing brother - or more importantly the stuff he was supposed to have retrieved. When Barry busts in she’s being interrogated while suffering the effects of a torturous poison that will kill her if she doesn’t answer them satisfactorily enough to be given healing/the antidote.

Facing this and worried about her brother, she definitely doesn’t want a nosy paladin getting involved. Unfortunately for her wishes, the bad guys decide she doesn’t have the information he wants and abandons her to the poison and the paladin. 

In this AU these two are definitely not pining from the start. They kind of hate each other or close to it. She sees him as both the person who is responsible for the predicament she ends up in (essentially indebted to his Order for her healing and further than ever from finding her brother) and he’s not too thrilled to be saddled with this angry, unwilling “assistant” as well as reminded he’s getting to the age he should retire from his duties after one last round of patrol, this time with a trainee.

Of course this is enemies to lovers, they uncover a mass conspiracy reaching to unexpected places and come across some familiar characters during their travels. Their first assignment, for example, ends up being to find out what’s been slaughtering the livestock at the farm of Magnus and Julia Burnsides. 

Oh, and Barry wears bluejeans under his chainmail.

[lightsandlostbells]

so, overall, what did you think of season 3 of stranger things?

It took me a while to answer this question because I had to sort out how I felt about this season! I guess if I had to narrow it down to an overall opinion: enjoyable, but very messy. Had some of the series’ best moments but also, while I was watching, I had far more grumbles and gripes than the previous two seasons.

I’ve never really been hung up on whether this show is derivative or plays too into nostalgia or w/e. Plenty of media does that. And despite all the time I’ve spent dissecting micro-expressions and weighty silences in European teen dramas that are filmed for the cost of a candy bar … I am way into genre films and TV shows. I love monsters and superheroes and spectacle! I watched Stranger Things the weekend it premiered because I love ‘80s movies about kids on bikes having adventures, I eat that shit up. So I don’t expect this show to be a hardcore deconstruction and re-imagining of those tropes (though that sounds like a pretty great show), I’m fine with it being what it is: a solid, spooky sci-fi/horror throwback series. What matters most is whether the story and characters work. Personally, I would say whatever criticisms you can make of S1 and S2, they had heart, and unfortunately I think some of that heart was missing from S3. Much of that, IMO, comes from sidelining some of the familial relationships that were at the center of the narrative in S1 and S2, like the Byers family and Hopper & Eleven, and to some degree the important friendships like the party, although there were other friendships introduced in this season so that wasn’t as glaring. It’s not a surprise that one of the best-received parts about this season, Steve and Robin’s friendship, is also responsible for one of the most heartfelt scenes Stranger Things has ever done. 

There was also a way larger emphasis on comedy in S3. Comedy is probably my favorite genre, and I did laugh at a lot of humorous moments in this season. But I also felt like there was more comedy for comedy’s sake, like long sequences created intentionally to make the audience laugh. Whereas in S1 and S2, I can’t remember any scenes like that? The comedy was more understated and came from character personalities and relationship moments rather than joke set pieces. That’s perhaps another reason why S3 felt like it had less heart.

My hope for season 4 - and I am assuming there is a season 4, because apparently this show did mega ratings for S3 - is that they don’t add more major new characters (except love interests for the gay characters, go ahead with those, lol) and instead focus on the existing cast,  which is already a very strong ensemble, yet many of the characters have gotten pushed to the sides. I would love if they added to the episode count: a lot of Netflix series drag out their seasons, like they have enough story for 10 episodes but have to stretch it out to 13, but Stranger Things has the opposite problem. I feel like if they had 10 (or 11, ha) episodes they could have more time for breather moments and more space for character arcs. This season was really fast-paced in my opinion, and although that’s a positive in many respects, I missed a lot of the down time.

Also, I think every season has taken place over like a week maximum, not including the epilogues, and like … you can make the story last longer than a week! Not everything has to go to hell in like a day or two.

Some more specific opinions underneath, obviously lots of spoilers.

First of all, I gotta say, I feel like a weirdo, because so many of the reviews for this season are like A RETURN TO FORM AFTER A DISAPPOINTING SECOND SEASON and UP THERE WITH SEASON 1 NOT THAT CRAPPY SEASON 2 THAT NO ONE LIKED and uhhhh … I liked season 2 just fine? It’s probably my favorite. There are things I don’t like about it, but the stuff I love is stuff I really, really love. Hopper and Eleven’s relationship, for instance. Steve and Dustin teaming up and Steve Harrington becoming a guardian to four children. Those are not just great elements to the series, but directions that I think only a second season could have taken - Hopper and Eleven’s bond wouldn’t have had half the weight if they weren’t established as traumatized, broken people in S1. Steve Harrington becoming a babysitter would not be nearly so delightful if we had not known him as the popular douchebag stereotype from S1 - if he were just a cool dude hanging out with kids from the get-go, the impact wouldn’t be as great. After S1 used Will Byers as a MacGuffin in S1, S2 gave Will a much larger role and that little actor acted his ass off. His performance generated a lot of genuine suspense and chills. There was Sean Astin being lovable! Paul Reiser’s character being a surprisingly good guy! Yeah, there are big flaws in the season, and you can argue it’s too much of a repeat of S1, but to me it was a version of S1 that made the characters more specific and interesting. I’m just … genuinely baffled by how it’s supposed to be demonstrably worse than the others. Because of the Kali episode? I didn’t think that one was terrible, either. I think it broke up the momentum of the chaos at Hawkins Lab, and Kali’s friends were obnoxious, it’s certainly not the greatest writing of the series, but as a whole the episode is like. Fine. It’s fine. It’s mediocre, not atrocious. It’s not the worst thing ever. It doesn’t ruin anything about the story or direction or the series. Most importantly it’s easy to ignore or skip on a rewatch if you don’t like it. The backlash was way overblown.

My biggest disappointment with season 3 was Hopper. Whaaaaaaat. Whaaaat did they dooooo. 

Hopper in previous seasons is a flawed, messed-up human being, but I always knew where he was coming from. When he yelled at Eleven in S2, I still got why he did it. In this season he felt cartoonish. The overprotective paternalistic dad trope is annoying BUT I might have been less bothered had they connected it more to Eleven’s lack of experience with the world, less RAWRRRR KEEP BOYS AWAY FROM MY GIRL. Or if Hopper had not demonstrated like, actual rage toward Mike and we just saw him fuming about it to himself or venting to Joyce, if he was trying to keep that shit under control. (I did laugh at him singing “You Don’t Mess Around With Jim” in the car, I gotta admit.)

But his attitude toward Joyce was what really bummed me out. I’m not into this show for shipping reasons, but I low-key enjoyed the possibility of Joyce and Hopper hooking up based on previous seasons. This season felt like they were writing a completely different dynamic for them, one that was much more aggressively obnoxious. I think their intentions were clear - they were going for a Sam-and-Diane relationship, something that was referenced early on in the Bob flashback - but the problem is that their relationship was not like that at all in S1 and S2. When I think of Joyce and Hopper from those seasons, I think about him supporting her after Bob died, or listening to her concerns about her son, or working together to find Will. They didn’t have this combative dynamic! Frankly watching giant-ass Hopper yell at tiny Joyce was viscerally unpleasant. (Side note but in the first trailer there was a shot of Hopper running at the Fun Fair with someone else who I assumed was Eleven, but no, turned out to be Joyce, Winona Ryder is just that tiny next to David Harbour.)

Also, considering this season ended with his death (and we all know he’s not really dead but OK) it’s such a waste that there were few Hopper&Eleven moments! Only the finale brought some quality content on that front. But otherwise their relationship was out of sight, out of mind for almost the whole season, which wasn’t a great choice, both to maximize the emotional impact of the ending, and to expand upon their situation post-S2. I mean, it’s been months since then, how has their relationship changed now? Hopper’s letter talked about the stuff he enjoyed doing with his daughter - why didn’t we see any of that on screen this season? It could’ve helped with the Mike angle, too, like show Hopper and Eleven watching TV together and laughing and having a good time, and then the phone rings and it’s Mike and suddenly Hopper’s watching TV alone as Eleven’s now focused on her boyfriend, we see his disappointment, etc. 

Scoops Troop - Now they were a delight. They had such a ludicrous story but for the most part it worked due to the characters playing off each other and because the writing/acting/directing embraced the silliness. 

Steve Harrington is easily one of the best characters on this show. I fucking love that guy. He’s consistently entertaining, he’s had possibly the best character growth out of anyone in the series, he’s evolved from a stock ‘80s asshole stereotype into someone who’s funny and sympathetic and likable. He’s this amazing blend of the ridiculous with the heroic. Steve and Dustin were great together, as they were last season, and I’m cackling that Steve acquired YET ANOTHER CHILD under his supervision without even trying. But the MVP of the season was the Steve & Robin friendship. Holy shit do I love that relationship. Holy SHIT.

Robin herself is a terrific new character, smart and funny and once you know she’s half-Uma, you can’t unsee it. I was loving her already and then the bathroom scene happened and I YELLED. I was so utterly overjoyed. If they had made Steve and Robin hook up, honestly … I would’ve been fine with it, like this show doesn’t need more heterosexual romance but at least they had a fun dynamic, but man, the friendship angle was so so superior. It’s a type of relationship that media is lacking, and the specific circumstances of this friendship made it genuinely moving to me. I keep wanting to write like a meta post devoted to just this relationship because I just have so many emotions about it! But they play well off each other as a comedic duo and as an odd couple friendship, and they’re really what each other needs, IMO. Steve needed this close friendship more than he needed a girlfriend; in this season he’s clearly adrift and we’ve seen the kind of shitty friends he had in like season one, is Dustin the best pal he had at this point? And I love Steve & Dustin but Steve needed a good friend his own age. Robin is a lesbian in small-town Indiana in the ‘80s, and she was clearly full of fear that Steve would hate her if he knew, and for him to accept her so easily, not even making a big deal about it? That’s kind of life-saving, really. I can’t wait to see more of them, if Netflix wants to make the half-hour Clerks-esque spinoff about them working in a video store and shooting the shit, I would be 100% down for that.

I have some mixed feelings about Erica because I think she could have benefited from getting the same humanization as the other kids (and I’m going to leave the discussion of racial tropes gently by the side at the moment but … yeah). The other child characters are played more like actual people with vulnerabilities, which has been part of the show’s appeal since the first season, and Erica was more like the sitcom kid who always has a snarky quip ready; however, she did make me laugh and I like that they tapped into her being a nerd, I wish they’d explore that in future seasons with the character. “I’m ten, you bald bastard” was one of my favorite lines of the season, I lost my goddamn mind. 

Billy - Lmao, so Billy in S2 was the woooorst. This dude had ZERO redeeming qualities. His abusive dad creates a smidgen of sympathy, I guess, but Billy goes so far beyond normal teenage assholery that it didn’t make a dent in my opinion of him. You can redeem someone like Steve Harrington, first of all because Steve actually feels regret and works to correct his mistakes, but Steve also didn’t go to a point of no return in the first place. Billy did, for me. Physically and verbally abusing his younger sister? Attacking a black middle-schooler for the crime of being in the same room as his white sister? What a piece of shit.

With that in mind - I have no problem focusing on him as a villain this season, I really don’t. It justifies his inclusion in S2 other than as a human antagonist who’s ultimately not really connected to the main plot, as it retrospectively establishes him as an even greater threat in this season. I also think the actor did a good job with the material he was given. However, ultimately this dude’s arc was underwhelming. The thing is … I can tell they were trying to show Billy struggling with the Mind Flayer, but Billy is so lacking in any positive qualities that it’s kind of like, where does that struggle even come from? Yeah, even the worst people aren’t going to be wild about having a monster from another dimension hijack your body and use it to collect people for spare parts, but this is the same dude who was about to run over Mike, Lucas, and Dustin on their bikes last season for absolutely no reason. He beat Steve to point of unconsciousness and could’ve put him in the hospital. He assaulted Lucas. So I really need some evidence of Billy’s moral compass because it is not inherent and there’s in fact plenty of evidence that it doesn’t exist. I’m not very enthusiastic about redeeming a racist, abusive creep, but I also think if you’re going to go for him helping Eleven at the end … you have to show some current potential for goodness, not just “used to be a nice kid.”

A really glaring omission: the lack of any family/home scenes with him, Max, and their parents this season. We left off last season with Max telling him to leave her and her friends alone. How is their relationship since then? Is there still a lot of friction? Is there a tense peace? Has their relationship improved in any way? We really needed to see that follow-up. I get that Max crying over Billy this season makes sense in that he’s still her family and we can still have love for those who hurt us … but I also feel that we needed something between them to justify her pain, like even just the potential of their relationship being a fraction better, or the suggestion that Billy used to be OK to Max before he went full asshole. And I think we really needed to see Billy’s dad being currently abusive in this season - tbh, missed opportunity that the dad didn’t get flayed like, out of revenge (which would have been both satisfying and horrifying), missed opportunities for suspense when we think Billy might serve up Max and her mom to the Mind Flayer, etc.

Another missed opportunity: drawing parallels between Billy and Will. Both are possessed by the Mind Flayer. Both had shitty dads calling them homophobic slurs. Both could be read as gay (I’m not hungry to claim Billy as LGBT representation or invested in this interpretation but his scenes with Steve in S2 admittedly have that sweaty homoerotic dick-measuring vibe, if you want to take it there). Their names are both William, FFS. The difference is that Will is a sweet and gentle kid surrounded by loving family and friends who fought to save him, and Billy is a violent, cruel dude who probably doesn’t have any real friends, just shallow connections. You could show how the Mind Flayer could more easily possess and manipulate someone like Billy, but that wasn’t really explored.

Also, is anyone going to dwell on the fact that like … Max is living with an abusive man as her stepfather? He’s shown hurting Billy’s mom. Does that not concern anyone that he is very likely to attack either Max or her mom? 

Oh, and thank God they didn’t take the Billy/Karen thing all the way. In retrospect, even weirder considering Billy’s mommy issues. 

Joyce - I get that it’s a big leap downward in emotional investment to go from “must save my son” to “fucking magnets, how do they work” but I liked that she had her own investigation that wasn’t full of emotional turmoil. Winona forever. 

Mike - Everyone is ragging on him but I think he was less terrible than people are making him out to be. He was bratty in a teenage way, but he wasn’t the worst kid ever. I didn’t take his now notorious line to Will (“It’s not my fault you don’t like girls”) as something intentionally cruel or homophobic, just something that came out wrong and that he instantly regretted, and he and Lucas did seem genuinely apologetic over the D&D game and went over to Will’s in the rain out of concern. And the reason he lied to Eleven was because SCARY ASS HOPPER threatened him??? Also, his concern over Eleven overexerting herself was not misplaced, lmao! It really took that long for anyone to go, “Hey, should we be worried about the amount of blood coming out of her nose? Should we be concerned about the effects on her brain?” Sure, Eleven has the final say in whether or not she uses her powers, but tbh… she didn’t have a normal upbringing and her view of her powers is probably skewed. Like, would Eleven have enough basic medical knowledge to be worried about brain damage or nosebleeds, or would that just be the norm to her? Is she making these decisions with a full grasp of the potential consequences? Anyway, I don’t have a more negative opinion of Mike after this season. 

Eleven - I loved Eleven a lot in this season. I don’t know if it did a ton for her character arc, but it’s nice to see her slowly develop into more of a normal girl. And the season was rough for her in terms of getting her ass kicked, she goes through so much mental and physical pain! In the end she loses her dad and her powers!

Of course one of the bright spots was her and Max becoming friends! Not gonna lie, there was something a little … simplistic about some of that depiction of friendship for me - just that so much of it was SHOPPING and GIGGLING and BOY TALK, girls being GIRLS, when Max has been portrayed as a tomboy and Eleven is a telekinetic kid raised in a lab, that maybe their interactions shouldn’t have fit the mold quite so much - but it doesn’t truly bother me because they were so sweet and fun. I loved them tracking down Billy together and I appreciate that their friendship carried throughout the season, that Max was the person shown carrying an injured Eleven along with Mike, Eleven comforted Max after Billy died, etc. That was a definite sore spot of S2, the girl-on-girl jealousy and Eleven flat-out rejecting Max’s friendly introduction, and I do think they took that feedback into account for the better here. I also like that Eleven was clearly taking cues from Max, the more “worldly” of the two about boys and clothes and teenage attitudes in general - it gave their friendship a more specific shape.

I cannot WAIT to see her living with the Byers family next season. Like if they don’t spend significant time on that dynamic, it will be the biggest disappointment. There could be 8 episodes of just boring mundane Byers domestic scenes and I would love it, please inject it into my eyeballs, Duffer bros. I want to see her bonding with all of them, trying to fit in at school, attempting the most normal life she’s ever had. Also lmao, she and Will can finally have a goddamn conversation??? I hope they’ve been withholding that relationship because they were planning to go all out with those new sibling vibes in S4. They are the two characters who have been most traumatized by the Upside Down, we deserve to see them connect.

On that note, I have a lot of thoughts about Will in this season! Mainly - underused as FUCK. After all that trauma of being possessed by the Mind Flayer last season, they barely utilize this connection in the second half of S3. Even his Spidey sense hardly came in handy??? Now that was really weird, IMO, because the least they could do was have that feeling alert the others or be useful, but lmao it was practically pointless. 

It’s weird because I’m not sure if they just don’t know what to do with Will if he’s not being a victim (which is stupid because there’s plenty you could do with him), but at the same time, he has one of the most poignant subplots of the season. From the reactions I’ve seen, Will feeling rejected and left out as his friends move on really resonated with a lot of viewers. But then this thread is abandoned after episode 3, for the most part. Will cries and destroys the place that represents his childhood, a place that was created specifically in response to trauma (mentioned in S2 that he and Jonathan built it after their dad left), this is very rich emotional territory … and then the show’s just like ehhhhhh moving on. He’s just hanging out in the background and touching his neck for the rest of the season. 

And now I gotta talk about that other thing with Will.

I am so confused by what the Duffer brothers are trying to accomplish with Will’s sexuality, because on the one hand it seems like they have a really clear idea about it and on the other hand they’re just like¯\_(ツ)_/¯  The thing is … it seems very obvious they have always thought of Will as gay. This is blatant from the original pitch from the show as well as one of the S2 scripts (the only one that’s available publicly, so who knows what else they’ve written). I accept that people have different interpretations, but The Line this season is far from the only textual support for Will being gay, and I think it makes for a much, much stronger narrative if you read Will as gay in addition to not wanting to grow up as fast as his friends and being stunted from trauma - that is an entire meta post in itself, though. 

What gets me about the ~ambiguity is that the Duffer brothers planted the gay hints in the first place! They are absolutely not there by accident! Like I’m not speaking for the teenage actors but lmao, the adults involved in the writing and directing of this series absolutely fucking knew how that “not my fault you don’t like girls” scene would be interpreted, especially considering fans were debating Will’s sexuality from the beginning, based off the many homophobic comments leveled at him in S1. There have been TV shows where fans latched onto gay “subtext” that was likely unintentional, but this isn’t one of them. 

IDK, man, it’d just be nice to have some confidence in where this is going. I loved Robin and the bathroom scene made me think that yeah, they might do a decent job with Will’s sexuality, something I might have doubted before. Under no circumstances do I expect a Skam S3-style coming out arc for Will, but I’m also uncertain if I should expect anything from the show on this front at all or if they’ll play it coy to the bitter end. Though I guess I’d still take the ambiguity over giving him a female love interest after everything. Lol, that would be a giant oh-fuck-no.

Real talk, though, let’s discuss what an utter waste it would be to not write a scene where Joyce tenderly accepts her son when he comes out to her. You really aren’t going to bring that instantly iconic moment to life, assholes? You’re not going to provide that for Winona Ryder’s and Noah Schnapp’s Emmy reels? MAKE IT HAPPEN, BASTARDS.

Nancy and Jonathan have a reputation for the most boring plots but they’re fine, w/e. I’m not deeply invested in their romance but I don’t want to fast forward their scenes or anything. Nancy is an underrated character; she’s extremely proactive and always has been, and I enjoy watching her shoot things. I think the best thing they could do for both characters, though, is to separate them next season, not just physically but storyline-wise. Jonathan would be best in a subplot involving his family, because he’s at his most likable as a son and brother, and Nancy should either go off with Mike (a sibling relationship that is VASTLY undeveloped), or she should team up with Robin. I mean it, Nancy and Robin would be a power pairing, let me show you my manifesto. Both are smart young women who are good at solving mysteries. Would Robin think Nancy is a priss after Nancy unloads several rounds into the latest demogorgon chasing them? Would Nancy find Robin a refreshing alternative to the crushing suburban conformity that she claims to want to avoid? Oh, the possibilities. Meanwhile, Steve tags along in the background, all like OH SHIT, my lesbian BFF and my ex-girlfriend are in cahoots! 

Lucas and Max were playing relationship counselors to Mike and Eleven through much of the season. Max still had a fair amount to do, but Lucas needs a meatier subplot next time. I feel like they���re not sure what to do with him? I would like to see him and Erica interact more since their dynamic so far is one-note. 

There is one hell of a conversation to be had about the Evil Russians of this season, but I’m really not the person to do it. 

Also about the depiction of capitalism this season. That’s more thinkpiece-y than I am equipped to do right now. 

The product placement is something that should bother me more but I’m just like … shrug. Except that New Coke bit because that was an actual mood-breaker. 

Could have done without Russian Terminator guy. That was a blatant ‘80s homage so I get why he was there, he just wasn’t all that interesting. And was that guy supposed to be superpowered or something? Was he getting jacked on Upside Down steroids???  What was his deal???

Alexei/Murray was the true OTP of the season, let’s be real.

The trend of lovable, doomed minor characters continued with Alexei. Props to that actor for making you root for the guy. He even made me kind of love Murray? I was very WTF over that guy encouraging two teenagers to fuck in S2, and I’m still not into his habit of telling people to bang even when they’re adults, but I guess he just needed a sympathetic Russian buddy to win me over. 

There were a ton of moments where I felt like the characters made stupid choices as opposed to earlier seasons. Will getting dragged into the Upside Down in the first 10 minutes of the series is an impressive example of a horror movie character doing everything right and making good decisions - a 12-year-old, no less. And he was still overpowered by the demogorgon so it’s not like making good decisions will always save you! Whereas this season I was like LORD some of these characters are drinking dumbass juice. 

There was also so much silly stuff happening, like things that are even more far-fetched than previous seasons, but I just kind of went with it. Yeah, of course there’s a secret Russian base under a shopping mall. Sure.

This season is objectively disgusting in terms of gore and yet I was fine with it? And I’m someone who was repulsed by Barb’s corpse in S1. The Mind Flayer being made of people was some nasty shit but effective horror. I felt bad for the poor little rats :( Oh, and the flayed humans, too. Some of them. Was sad to see Mrs. Driscoll bite it but FUCK those cartoon misogynists from the newspaper. 

Visually beautiful! Starcourt Mall is an amazing set and I’m rather sad that the mall was destroyed, although that was basically a foregone conclusion. Some great cinematography, too. On a purely aesthetic level I had a great time just blasting this season into my retinas.

I have had the motherfucking NeverEnding Story theme song in my head for almost two weeks and I’m suffering.

[sillyfudgemonkeys]

My stance on P5 (cause apparently I need to explain myself :/)

So someone just told me someone was vagueing about me on the confessions blog (can’t say my name cause it’s against the rules but they’ll try to get as specific as they can 🙃 if you have issues just be a real anon hater and send to my inbox directly you coward). And I’m not going to do a reblog to that post, because I’m pretty sure that person must be on my blog. Because the post they were vagueing me about was......not tagged.....in the P5 tagged (I did not tag it as P5 nor Persona 5), it was just a post that was on my blog (now if it showed up in the tag or search I dunno why but I didn’t tag it for P5 for a gd reason cause I keep it to my blog). The post was me pointing out how P5 when they first enter Futaba’s dungeon they didn’t have shoes on, but after the cutscene they DID. The post was more comical (with me getting salty in the tags, but then you’d have to go out of your way to read my tags). And tbh, I’m half and half, yeah I know it’s a nitpick, and I’d just chalk it up to an animation error and let it go usually, but it’s P5 and that game is already inconsistent with it’s plot/world building/characters/anything important that I’m like “nah I’mma rag on it cause it’s just one more thing they screwed up” so I’m like half let it go and half rag on it (fun fact, when I saw they didn’t have shoes on I was gonna make a post saying “hey look this is cool, nice attention to detail” and then they messed it up literally 2 seconds later so dklsjf;afa yeah). (oh and btw, it wasn’t just “one” character, it was the whole PT cast at the time 8U” at least get it right 8U)

But the thing is......that was just a post on my blog, I’m not me berating the P5 tag. So that means you, person who vagued me, tend to go on my PERSONAL BLOG. So like....why are you on here? No, don’t ask me about me and P5, I will answer that, but you answer why are you bothering looking at my personal blog? Is it cause of certain content I post? Then just blacklist certain tags (like my “silly plays” tag cause nothing really interesting happens in that tag, or my more negative “persona problems” type tags), I know I need to be better at tagging my asks, but if you like my original content then just.....go to the OG content tags (aka videos/pictures/edits/coloring)? That way you avoid anything not made by me? Or if you don’t have a reason and you’re just here to be mad cause someone doesn’t like your game, then block me. You don’t seem to like me, so just....why are you here? You seem to want to ask why I’m here with P5, and I have my reasons, but if you don’t have a reason to be on my blog then why are you on it?

I’m not saying this to be mean, but I don’t want to be policed, esp if someone is going to be hypocritical about it. And it’s annoying to see vaguing (cause imo you are as bad as someone who sends anon hate, but you don’t have the balls to just send it to me directly XP)

Ok now where’s my stance on P5? I don’t like it, but it’s a part of a larger series and lore which I do LOVE! Which means, considering I’m a LORE WHORE, it doesn’t feel right to just skip a game esp if it could contain info about the MegaTen/Persona lore (or even Character lore) I want to know. In fact, I really hate it when I’m talking lore with someone and if expanded info is brought up from a side game they are like “Oh I didn’t play that game so it’s not canon” No Bethany, just because YOU didn’t play a game doesn’t mean it’s not canon. And no, no one is bullying you over the fact you didn’t play it, you just don’t like being wrong and the person was like “Ok well it IS canon and it’s in the game, you don’t have to play it but you.....can’t ignore this fact, also why are you arguing this part of the lore when it’s heavily established in said game you ignored???? I mean you do you but don’t get mad when someone corrects you. No one’s forcing you to do anything.” Ahhhhrrrrgggh so many convos I’ve seen happen, I’m not going to be on the end that I hate. DX<

Also, P5 is not the entire Persona fandom, so while I put up with it and indulge in it by association, it doesn’t have the ownership of the fandom (like with all the original games+ spinoffs+all remakes/ports and P5S/P5R included, but not mobile games, it’s only 23% of all of Persona in terms of game entries, and that’s overlapping with crossover games, and if we included other stuff P5 is def a minor aspect in terms of entries). It’s not that hard, I’m just a bigger all around Persona fan than I am a Persona 5 critic (I don’t want to say hater, because it feels like it sounds like I’m hating it just to hate it, when really it was a game I was excited for and loved and then it just burned me bad and I’m just dealing with the scorn). Always keep in mind, I loved P5 before I hated it, it’s probably why I’m as salty about it as I am, because I love P5′s potential and....I was just let down (it wasn’t unrealistic expectations, like I said earlier, P5 contradicts itself.....all over the place, it’s hard to ignore and it’s not something that was as big of an issue, or even an issue at all, in other games). 

Why do I still post P5 stuff when I don’t like P5 (by which I mean...posting about the OG manga raws, or wanting to do a partial game to anime dub or even would be willing to help with editing a fandub for the anime)? Because I remember being a newbie Persona/Megaten fan, getting into the series, and wanting to know more about it and it’s side materials but then not being able to have access it any of it (because it was still prettty niche when I first joined and I had no money at the time). I want to give people access to it! Sure it’s harder for me to now to devote time to it (than it was a few years ago), but I want to help with giving access to this Persona/Megaten stuff now that I have some ability! And it also means P5 as well gets some of that love. 8U

As for why I was replaying P5, so this is one thing that’s making me wonder if you are a regular on my blog or not because I’ve been talking about playing the Korean version (but in my one post I forgot to type “silly plays P5/Persona 5 KOREAN” so yeah I forgot to specify Korean at the end). So tbh....I’m actually ignoring P5′s writing while I play (cause I’m just going through the gameplay motions), cause I don’t know korean. 8U And I’m mostly using that tag as a means to point out different things in the korean ver (no that much, but yes Ryu’s shoes ARE censored 8U). But why? Well.....I talk about it here and there but anon/person....1) I’m a trophy whore, I love plat trophies and P5′s is super easy I can get it (and I’m not above playing bad games, oh yeah burn, I’ve played a lot of bad games for plats, and I’ve also played the same games multiple times for plats, I do this to myself but really I don’t mind replaying P5 4+ times for 4+ plats esp since I don’t really have to pay attention). 2) I’m a big MegaTen/Persona collector, I want all the plats I can have (I plan on platting the other versions of the all the dancing games on Vita and PS4, P4G, and the versions of Catherine I don’t have, like I legit have a gd excel sheet keeping track of the versions of Megaten games I don’t have yet....I’m just doing P5 cause it’s 1) one of the easiest to do and 2) it was easier to get my hands on them atm). I don’t talk about my trophy hunting on here that much tbh, but that’s.....really a big reason why I’m doing it (plus with the Korean/CHinese ver I don’t have to pay attention to any story so it’s all good! :D) Yeah I do it to myself, but I don’t really mind. 8U And I mean I tend to keep most of my P5 issue on my blog too. I think the only two posts that I put in the P5 tag were 1) a few consistency issues I wanted to meme about (aka the I’m about to head out post, which was actually the 2nd post I made on that topic but I decided to just meme that one, so I thought it was better than me just bitching, at least I tried to make it a bit funny yet informational 8U), and 2) something that I tbh had an issue since I back when I liked P5 (aka wishing they worked on speeding up the loading times and the fast forward feature), so since I was playing the game I was like “That reminds me, man I hope they fix this in the re-release!”. As for english P5, the only reason I’ll be playing P5 OG in english is for either archiving reasons or research reasons (probably both at once so I don’t have to play through it more than once again).

As for P5R, uhhhhh I’m excited for Kasumi (Jose is cool too, and the new dungeon has me interested too, and all the P2 demons coming back to it makes me wonder what else is/if anything is coming back), she’s my main draw. Yeah it’s connected to P5R, but she looks so much like Hamuko I JUST HAVE TO KNOW WHAT’S UP WITH HER! Hamuko’s my girl, and I need to know if Atlus is going to do something with that, or if I need to be pissed for them literally lifting Hamu’s face! Am I gonna get pissy about P5R’s new add-ons (aka, I’m aware that P5R is probably going to keep the issues from OG P5, so I’mma just judge P5R based on it’s new content)? Yeah, if they kept up the same writing P5 OG had. So yeah, I’m probably going to get pissy if they eff it up, but I’m not going in pissy, going in with really low expectations tbh, but I’m giving it a chance. But if they don’t eff up the new stuff then......that’s good! It means they did something right. So far Kasumi is not Marie so we’re off to a good start. I’m hoping the keep that momentum. 8U

So yeah, I think I have valid reasons for staying, maybe you don’t like it anon/person, but they are there. 

tldr; someone feels like the need to police me despite the fact they could just ignore me (even tho it seems like they specifically came to my blog to get mad, rather than me clogging up the tag, like I post there maybe once or twice every 2 months). My stance on P5 is that I deal with it cause it’s part of a bigger fandom I’m a part of and the fact I love the lore of that bigger fandom so it’s not like I can ignore it. I also have a Playstation trophy problem. 8U And I’m excited for Kasumi is that so bad???? (also I didn’t mention it, but Anne/Haru are enough to keep me around 8U)