#more fancast edits coming soon!

[wednesdaynn]

birthday special

A/N: HI! omg it's my birthday and i thought i'd write a little special something from myself to you, as i'll be spending my birthday alone. So here is a little special poly!marauders smutty fic to make myself happy and not dread this awful day.

i also got a cake with the faces of multiple celebrities i love, including the OG fancasts... so

not edited, not even double checked or rewritten, i did this in 3 days and expected it to only be around 2000 words, so it might be awfull, dont blame me

This is also uploaded 9 hours after scheduled time but shhh

word count: 4388

warnings: reader who feels left out and sad on her birthday/ foursome, oral sex, penatrative sex, awkward positions and understanding lovers, dirty talk, slight overwhelming feelings so a bit of crying.

pairing: poly!marauders x fem!reader

It's eerily quiet in the great hall. lunch time had just passed and most of the students were spending their time outside in the great fields outside of the castle. Spring break was coming to an end and most of ‘em filled their last couple of free days soaking up the sunlight outside, a rare occurrence in scotland. except for your friends, who had been all over the place since that morning. you suppose you had been slightly jealous towards them. Every time it was someone's birthday they made sure to plan something that would interest the birthday person. 

For Lily's birthday, you had spent the evening outside after dark playing in the snow and staying up all night in the boys dorm, drinking wine and gossiping. Remus' birthday was perfect, it had fallen on a sunday, giving you guys the entire day to do nothing except to annoy Remus, plan pranks and sneak into the kitchen to eat until you guys couldn’t . For james’ you guys had planned an entire party that lasted through all the night. 

But this morning you woke up to everyone rushing around. You had thought that because it was spring break there would be a lot of time to hang out with the lot, but to your surprise, you got a kiss on the cheek from your girl friends, and your boyfriends had to get up for quidditch practice early and stayed until lunch. They wished you a happy birthday and let you unpack your presents at the breakfast table. but the celebrations were soon pushed aside for more important tasks, such as studying. 

since breakfast you hadn’t seen anyone, the first hour after breakfast spent in the common room reading a book, you had soon grown bored. you went to the library to study but found it to be too crowded with most of the students cramming for their latest exams. the hot weather tearing them down. and right before lunch you headed outside to join Hagrid in feeding the latest creature he had brought home with him. both of you working in silence. 

But lunch rolled around and you hadn't seen any of your friends. When you walked into the great hall, your boyfriends were just on their way to return to the dorms to take a long awaited shower, while Remus and Peter joined them to finish the last part of their essay. 

And you know there was an open invitation to join them. they always made sure to let you know you are welcome there, even Peter had let you know he enjoys your company, more than the boys he had said. but you didn’t want to intrude on their tasks. you already felt like you were overreacting and the boys knew you too well. you knew they’d worry about you and set their own things aside to make sure you’re okay, but you didn’t want them to do that, feeling like a burden. 

you push yourself up from the table and swing your legs over the bench. with no idea what to do the rest of the day you make your way back up to your room, checking the last couple of assignments off of your to-do list, watering the plants, stoking the fire in the room when the evening chill started to roll around and the sun had disappeared behind the clouds. you had picked up your book again, but to no avail. you were bored, extremely. and you don’t hold it against your friends, knowing that they have things to do as well since classes are starting soon again. but you had spent the entire spring break hanging out almost every day, and the one day that was important to you, they couldn’t. 

you felt left behind. turning around one more time on your bed, you let out a sigh of annoyance. Another birthday spent doing nothing, another birthday spent alone, another birthday spent depressed. you had learned your lesson the past couple of years not expecting much. but it was your last year at Hogwarts, your last year spent with friends. you had hoped this year would be different. not a quick ‘happy birthday, and we’ll see you again tonight when we are already half asleep.’ 

Was it unfair to think that way? yes, but you couldn’t care at the moment. you were feeling lonely and bored. but you picked yourself up enough to at least head  to dinner, where you were greeted with all of your friends sitting together, laughing and having fun. you walked over to Remus and sat beside him quietly, giving him a tight lipped smile while he kissed you on your temple and put his hand on your thigh. 

The entirety of dinner had been spent in silence while your friends talked. they had tried to get you to join the conversation, but your energy had been drained from the constant worrying the entire day. the hand on your thigh had left when Remus had to start eating, but the second he was done it was around your waist pulling you in closer.

"You wanna talk?” he whispered into your ear, his hot breath a comfort on your neck. you looked up at him and shook your head softly with a thin smile, not quite reaching your eyes. the thumb on your waist moves ever so slightly, rubbing comforting circles into your skin. Remus hymned and turned back to his friends, his hand not leaving your side. 

When they finished with their meal, Remus slid his arm back and grabbed your hand to bring you along with him. you walked along with your friends, every so often listening in on their conversation. you followed them up onto the moving stairs but only raised your head when you passed the door to the gryffindor common room. Remus let out a soft chuckle, his grip on your hand getting tighter. you walked after him as he dragged you up more and more stairs.

entering the top corridor the girls giggle as they open up one of the doors to an empty classroom, and Peter walks up to you, circling around until he puts his hands in front of your eyes and covers them. you let out an annoyed sigh, but smile nonetheless. Remus leads your hand further into the room where he leaves you waiting.

you tap your foot impatiently and Peter clicks his tongue in response. you hear slight rustling in the background and Marlene and Sirius whispering, although it’s louder than they probably intend to, seeing as they are bickering about godric knows what. but the noises slowly die down and someone is back at your side again holding onto your right hand. 

Peter slowly slid his hands away from your face and in front of you laid a couple of blankets with candles and a bunch of food and drinks on the floor. the tables and chairs had been pushed to the side. you look to your right seeing James and squeezing onto his hand tighter, giving him a grateful smile. He lets go of your hand and wraps it around your waist, pulling you into him. 

your eyes stare in awe at the scene in front of you. your friends standing around you with a happy smile. Mary shakes out her hands and squeals and before she can contain herself, she runs over to you and envelopes both you and James in a tight hug. 

“didn’t think we’d forget now, huh love?” you shake your head and she pulls back from your embrace holding your face in her hands. “Happy birthday sweetheart.” you give her a sweet smile and they both release, just far enough for your other friends to congratulate you. 

pulling back from all the hugs, you all make your way down to the middle of the room, filled with sweets. sitting cross-legged on the blanket across from your friends, squished between your boyfriends, you felt slightly guilty.

you couldn’t believe you thought they were capable of forgetting, or just not wanting to celebrate your birthday. or thinking they didn’t know you well enough to know how you wanted to spend your birthday. you silently scold yourself on your mistrust towards your boys and try to focus back on the scene in front of you. 

you lean into James’ embrace next to you while he puts his arm around your shoulder and try to relax into it as much as possible. “Thank you, darling,” you whisper to him. “I love it.” he just winks and holds you tighter. 

The night carries on with lots of laughter while you stuff your mouths with a bunch of food and the alcohol, which you can only assume Sirius and Mary took care of. it was getting late and everyone was relatively tipsy, you all decided it was best to head up back to bed. standing up from Sirius’ lap, all of you stumbled your way back down all the stairs and into the common room, getting dirty looks from the paintings. He held onto your waist tightly as you walked up towards the boys’ dormitory. 

taking off your shoes next to the door, you walk over to the fireplace in the centre of the room, stoking the fire with a spell, instantly warming the room. You watch as you see your boys make their way over to the bathroom individually. Coming out with pyjamas and brushed teeth, the padding of their socked feet towards their beds. You quickly ascend to the bathroom yourself, the stressful day had made you quite tired, and the slight state of drunkenness you were in didn’t help either. 

You quickly took off your makeup and brushed out your hair and teeth. Getting out of your clothes and putting on your pyjamas. You lean your head down and take a sip of water from the faucet and make your way back to their dormitory. Getting into Remus' bed you sit cross legged on the cover. 

“I’m sorry if i acted odd tonight, i loved what you guys did for me, honestly. It was the best birthday.” you say softly. Sirius's face contorts into one of confusion and he cocks his head up towards you. “What are you talking about, love?” James crosses over from his bed to yours and leans against the bedpost, his arms crossed on his chest. 

“You were fine sweetheart, but if something is bothering you, you know you can always talk about it with us right?” you nod and give James a soft smile. Remus pats your thigh. 

“Come’ere.”  you climb up higher on the bed and throw your leg over his lap, making eye contact with your lover. He gives you a soft peck on your forehead and his thumb draws circles into your waist. You feel a dip in the mattress behind you and feel Sirius his hand brush the hair away from your neck and shoulder, leaving soft peck along the neckline of your pyjama shirt. You lean into their embrace and let out a soft sigh.

You see James get on the bed on the other side of you and look over at him. “You want us to take care of you? Or do you just want to cuddle until we fall asleep?” you’re already letting go of your inhibitions while in the hold of your boyfriends, and you know they will take care of you. 

“Take care of me please.” you let out softly, looking up at him with sweet eyes. He gives you an adorning smile and a kiss on the cheek. 

Remus his hands slowly slip under your shirt, rubbing the skin underneath. He spreads his hands across your back, “lean back for me sweetheart.” Sirius whispers in your ear as his lips ghost across your jawline. You look at Remus and he nods at you, he holds you as you lean back into Sirius his arms, your shoulders resting on his chest. 

Sirius his hands move down towards the hem of your shirt and slowly inches it upwards. His knuckles grazing your skin, leaving behind goosebumps as his cold hands touch you. He moves until he reached the underside of your boobs. 

“Can i, love?” you nod as best as you can. He lifts the shirt over your breasts and skims his hands over them, brushing along your nipples and pinching them slightly. You let out a soft sigh at the contact and look away from his movements and make eye contact with Remus who winks at you. He gestures over at James to get closer and you feel James moving on the bed as he leans down on your level.

He softly brushes some stray hairs away from your face and leans in closer kissing your lips softly. You fully let go in the embrace of your lovers doting on you and your body. The kiss quickly turns a lot more fierce and you realise in this position both of your bodies have to contort to kiss properly, so James makes his way down your body, jaw, neck, clavicle bones, and just under your shirt where Sirius pulls his hands away to give James free reign to pleasure you. 

James leaves wet kisses all on your breast, and soft bites around your nipples leaving slight marks all over your chest. He finally wraps his lips around your left nipple and sucks lightly. You let out a moan at his administration and he groans around your nipples, heat flows down your body. 

Sweat starts to form on your forehead and you notice how much of a strain your body is being put on being in this position. You move your hand to tug on Remus' arms.

“You like how he’s making you feel darling?” you nod but a slight grimace pulls at your face. “This position, baby, it’s slightly uncomfortable, I'm sorry.” you apologise to them. Sirius tuts behind you and moves his hands behind your shoulder blades to give you some elevation to get up properly. 

Being sat back on Remus' lap, he slowly lifts you up from off of his lap and moves you next to him on the bed, the spot James was previously occupying. Sitting up on the bed you roll your shoulder around, letting the tight spots ease. You remove your shirt entirely from your body and Sirius softly pushes at your sternum, easing you onto your back, your head resting on the pillows. 

James resumes his former position, leaning over you and softly kissing your chest and upwards, now finally having the space to kiss your neck and leave marks all over. Sirius, who is still sitting between your legs, ghosts his hands across your stomach and reaches the waistband of your pyjama pants. He hooks his fingers underneath the band and glides them across your waist, teasing you. 

You panting beneath them, wishing they would just do more. Having 3 boyfriends and still not getting where you need them seems pathetic, but Remus just finds your frustrations comical and sweet. He puts his hand on your forehead and strokes the top of your head. 

Sirius his hands finally make their way down when he pulls down your pants and underwear at the same time, helping you lift your hips and pulling them all the way down your legs and throwing them next to the bed. You have half a mind to tell him it’s gross to leave clothes lying on the floor, but James his lips are back on your nipples and thinking straight with them is just too difficult. 

He brushes his hands on your calves, massaging them and pushing them up, leaving your knees bent. You feel Remus’ hands skim across your stomach downwards, a ghost of a touch on your mound leaving goosebumps in his wake. 

“Please, Rem?” with the comforting touch of Sirius’ hands on your calves, soothing you into a deeper rest, you can’t help but beg for Remus to touch you. 

“Since it’s your birthday, sweetheart, I'll go easy on you.” His voice sounds rough, but he complies immediately. His middle finger and ring finger skim over your slit collecting wetness from your core and he circles your clit with them. You whine, the touch of James his lips and teeth on your nipple and Remus his light circular movements on your bundle of nerves, makes you set alight. 

They’re barely doing anything, but it’s making you let out all sorts of noises you’ll probably be embarrassed about tomorrow, but for now you couldn’t care, knowing it only eggs your partners on further. 

Remus his fingers slowly move down to your hole circling it, teasing it, before finally pushing on finger in slowly. He eases it into you, taking his time, moving it in and out slowly. He watches your face intently. Making sure to catch any noise you let out, and face you make and any sign of unease. He sees your hands grab onto the blanket and takes it as his queue to add a second finger. 

No matter how many times the four of you have sex, the stretch never gets any easier. You scrunch your face up slightly. “Am i good to continue, or do you need a second?” he asks, and you have half a mind to tell him to shut up and continue, but you find it so endearing how caring he still is. “You’re good to continue, baby, was just a pinch.” he nods and continues pushing into you, but this time at a much slower pace, taking extra caution. 

Once he feels you’re rightly accommodated to the stretch, he starts pumping in slowly again. Taking his time dragging his fingers against your walls, your pussy quivering around his fingers. You feel every drag with his slow pace, the way he barely misses your g-spot. 

Your hand curls around his wrist and he gives you a smirk. “You want more, baby?” he hymns at you.  You just nod to the best of your ability. He increases his pace, only ever so slightly making you whine. You liked when he teased, but it was god damn frustrating. 

Your nails scratch at his wrist and pull at his hand hoping to speed it up even more, but Remus is relentless in giving you what you want. He makes a tsks noise, hoping to tell you off, but he sees the desperate look on your face and he almost gives in.

“Be good for me baby, and you’ll get what you want.” you nodded fervently at him. James leaves a peck on your cheek and makes his way over to your lips, kissing you with renowned vigour. Tongue sliding in your mouth. 

You feel the butterflies in your stomach making rounds at the slow pace, not enough to make you cum, but it leaves you teetering on the edge. Sirius moves closer to you, your legs on either side of his hips. He slowly takes off his shirt, making it a show for you. He leans down to give a kiss on your knee and pushes himself down onto the bed, laying down on his stomach in between you. 

Remus makes a move to take his fingers out of you, but the hand that’s on his wrist holds him there. 

“Sweetheart, let go, Sirius wants to make you feel good, don’t you wanna cum?” he asks in such an endearing voice. You moan into James’ mouth and he takes it as a queue to lean back and observe. You whine for him, wanting to feel the taste of his lips back on your once more, but he just gives you a sympathetic smile and mouths an apology at you. 

Sirius begins by slowly kissing up and down the inside of your thigh. He sucks onto the skin leaving marks behind, maroons and reds splotched all over your legs, small indentations of bite marks etched into your skin. He kisses the juncture between your thigh and mound and puts his thumbs onto your vulva.

His thumbs spread your lips apart and he lets out a groan at the sight, wetness covering your entire pussy, your hole quivering from the need to cum. You feel a warmth spread over your face all the way down to your chest. He latches his lips onto your clit, sucking on it harshly. 

“Holy fuck.” he hums around your bundle of nerves making electricity shoot up. He agrees with your sentiment. You were on edge form cumming the whole time Remus was fingering you, and this just shoots you right over the edge. Your hands make their way downwards, grabbing onto Sirius his long hair and pulling, hard. He lets out a moan at the roughness and scrapes his teeth against your clit. You give a short warning before your orgasm takes full control. You scratch at his scalp as you pull, as Sirius pulls you through the afterwaves of your orgasm. You feel your chest going up and down, heaving. 

Sirius gives a loving pat on your inner thigh before moving up again, and getting off of the bed, standing next to James on the left side of the bed. You look over at them and you feel Remus, who is still sitting beside you on the bed, take your hand and grab onto it. 

James scurries out of his clothes, first his shirt, revealing his toned chest from quidditch. Then his pyjama pants. You see Sirius next to him gulp as James’ cock springs up. James his face contorts into a look of proudness. A smirk plastered onto his face. He resumes his movements and gets onto the bed taking Sirius his former position between your legs. He spits onto the palm of his hand and strokes his cock slowly. 

“You ready, doll?” he asks you before inching closer. You let out a soft please and he strokes his cock up and down your slit. Gathering your wetness before slowly pressing into you. He inches in closer and closer, taking his time with you, letting you get adjusted to the stretch of his cock. 

You breathe in deeply, in through your nose, out through your mouth. Taking the time to enjoy the moment and feel the intimacy with your lovers. Remus who is feeling up your breasts, encompassing them with his hands and squeezing them, pinching your nipples and rolling them between his thumb. 

Sirius is still by your side, holding your hand and stroking his thumb up and comforting you. His other hand pushing away fly hairs and stroking your head, creating a soft moment between you both. Looking up at him, you can see the love and adoration in his eyes and he gives you a sweet smile. 

James’ hands rest on your waist, pressing into the skin there, you know he’s trying to hold himself back, but he’s trying to be considerate, your sweet boy. 

“It’s okay James, please.” you give him an encouraging nod and he stares at you for a while, trying to see if you are truly okay. Finding no resistance, he pushes further in almost bottoming out inside of you. He inches out slowly and pushes back in with careful intention, making sure to make you feel every drag slide against your walls. Hearing the lewd sounds the two of you make, feeling your hole contract around him. 

You both let out a sigh of relief at the sensation followed by a deep moan. He makes sure to hit you deep and slowly, dragging the sensations out. All that you feel, everything you feel coursing through your body is love. Undevoted love. Enveloped by your boyfriends, taking care of you in the way that you need. 

It encompasses your very being and you feel yourself tune out everything around you except for the feeling of safety, the pleasure of their comfort. Peace. You know they see it, see how you’re feeling, or maybe they even feel it themselves, because Sirius is squeezing tighter around your hand and Remus gives intentional soft strokes around your breast. It makes you want to cry and release every emotion you’ve felt for a while. Wanting to cry out in pure ecstasy. 

“It’s okay, you’re safe with us.” Remus tells you and you let a single tear drop when you squeeze your eyes shut. A silent ‘fuck’ leaves your mouth and your eyebrows scrunch together. They just hold you closer.

James picks up his pace slightly, his thumb moving to your clit, rolling circles on it with the pad of his finger, increasing the pleasure that shoots through your body. 

He digs his knees deeper into the mattress, laying the top of his feet flat on the bed and shifting his hips just ever so slightly, lowering them closer to the bed and his cock drags against your walls deliciously. 

James feels all his nerves being set on fire, feeling the tightening of your walls around him, the wetness making it so easy to glide in, and he feels the tip of his cock hit that spongy spot inside of you. Making you keen,

You lean your head back, releasing a loud moan. Your eyes shoot open and you grab at the bedsheet. Curling your toes and enclosing your thighs around James’ hips. You feel the familiar flare in the bottom of your stomach, the butterflies fluttering around. 

“Baby? Babes, I'm gonna cum, please.” you beg of James and he keeps repeatedly hitting your g-spot, keeping up the pace as before and tightening the circles he makes around your clit. He lets out a high pitched whine and looks down at where your bodies are connected, seeing your arousal around his cock, your hole pulsing around him. The stickiness on his thumb. 

Your breath hitches, Remus pinches your nipple, Sirius gives you a sweet kiss on your forehead and the soft strokes of James gives you everything you need to orgasm again. You squeeze tightly around James his cock and James hisses at the constriction, cumming just after you. He pumps in just a little bit longer, riding out both of your orgasms, until both of you become too sensitive. 

“You did so well darling, so beautiful for us, happy birthday baby.” 

(Down below my bday cake cuz y’all need to see it)

[lixzey]

Letters

The Sixth Letter.

Timothée was about to open the sixth letter when his phone rang.

"Fuck," he muttered before answering the call.

“Timothée, are you ready? The car's already here," his manager said over the phone.

“Oh shit, I forgot," he mumbled. “Give me ten minutes.”

Timothée silently cursed himself. He forgot he was going back to New York.

He ended the call, then proceeded to get ready. He took a quick shower and put on some sweatpants and a sweater. He wasn't in the mood to dress up.

“Hurry up, Timothée!” His manager yelled from outside his hotel room. “Your flight is in an hour!” 

“I'm coming!” He yelled back as he tried to fit his clothes in his suitcase. “Geez, you can't wait for a few minutes?” Timothée muttered under his breath.

“Timothée Chalamet, if you don't drag your ass out here in two minutes, we're leaving without you!” 

“I'm here!” Timothée yelled, dragging his suitcase and backpack outside of the room.

“What took you so long? No, don't answer that. Come on, let's go!”

Timothée passed his suitcase to the hotel staff that was with his manager. The three then descended down to the lobby.

As Timothée was getting into the car, he realized something.

The letters! Y/n's letters!

He couldn't leave these behind, no matter what. 

He hadn't finished her letters. He would be betraying her if he did't finish her letters. 

“I'll be right back!” Like lightning, he quickly ran back into the hotel, back up to the receptionist. “I left something in the room!” 

“What toom were you in?” The receptionist asked lazily.

“Room 1238.” He quickly answered. The receptionist gave him the keycard,

“Don't forget to bring it-” Before the receptionist could finish, Timothée was already dashing towards the elevator.

As soon as Timothée entered the room, he quickly searched the room. There it was: the basket of eighteen letters, Y/N's letters. He grabbed the letters and tied them up with the ribbon.

In a matter of seconds, Timothée was out of the door. He practically threw the keycard at the receptionist. He hopped into the car, the letters clutched in his hand.

It was funny how he already felt a sense of loyalty to this girl. He had never met her, yet he feels more than obligated to know her.

Timothée went through the letters, sorting them again by date. He opened the sixth letter, dated July 1, 2023.

Dear Timothée Chalamalabingbong,

Hey, did you miss me?

Yeah, as if.

I'm too damn delusional, sorry about that.

Anywho, I just saw the new trailer for Dune Part Two. And it's absolutely amazing!

I am absolutely excited for it! I can't wait to see it in theaters. Paul Atreides, my Lord, you can ruin my life if you want to.

Timothée loud out aloud, earning a weird look from his manager. “What's that?” she asked.

“Oh, nothing. Just fan mail.”

Did you know that you're fancasted as Regulus Black? I was shocked when I saw a video edit of Paul Atreides as Regulus Black.

I wasn't even interested in the younger Black brother, but boy, you changed everything.

Now I'm absolutely obsessed with a character you didn't even portray.

I can't wait for the Wonka trailer! I can't wait to see you as Willy Wonka.

You in a top hat? Boy, I'd fight a kid for a golden ticket.

You're so gorgeous, it actually hurts.

God, I'm getting sinful thoughts.

Forgive me.

Not.

All my love,

Y/n. 

Timothée felt his cheeks burn. He was used to his fans thirsting for him. But this felt different.

Maybe it's because she only wrote eighteen letters, or maybe because she was pouring her heart out into her letters.

He wanted to find this girl. He wanted to understand why she stopped writing.

But how would he find her?

Timothée sighed as he put the letter back in its envelope. He silently vowed to find this mysterious girl.

No matter what.

[mejcinta]

There’s also hardly any content or support for Gayle on certain platforms besides a few random people on Twitter who love her already. But the proof is in that fact that Instagram is literally full of videos and photos of Gayle that existed well before she was casted, and nobody digs them up like they do with Ewan Mitchell. The Alys tag on tumblr used to be updated constantly with fics, edits, and fancasts that suited everyone’s self-inserts. As soon as Gayle got casted, the tag went quiet and hardly anyone talks about her now.

I find it sad because I was really hoping the person casted was deliberately be unique and far from anything “self-insert-ish” because she’s a strong character on her own and not just a love interest for Aemond. But very few seem to agree.

Yes, it’s probably because it’s early and we haven’t see her as Alys yet, but nobody is “meat riding” this actress by any means. The people being really supportive of her are doing the bare minimum. And yes, there was no previous casting, and nobody has seen Gayle as Alys yet lmao. She’s gonna do fine.

I'm sure that once we get to see Gayle and all the other new cast on screen, there will be more content made for her and the rest of her fellow new coworkers.

But you're right. At first Alys was just a major self insert for most fans.

Aemond is a hot character. People go crazy for him, especially the girlies (me included lol).

Good thing is I'm more of a nerd than just a thirsty fangirl. I've been intrigued by Alys from the moment I read about her (a witch, come on now!)

And I was relieved!!! when we got the casting announcement because people had been swearing up and down Alys would be cut off from the story for some petty reason.

We need more badass women in the story, for crying out loud. Especially those that aren't highborn, you know. And Alys signifies that for me, together with Nettles and maybe even Sara Snow (if they allow her to exist lmao).

I really don't know much about Western actors but I didn't mind Emily Beecham either when the audition tape leaked.

However, Gayle won it and by what I see of her past work she is more than capable of embodying Alys. I am excited to see what she will serve. But in the meantime just be patient as the Alys fandom slowly but surely grows. 🙏🏾😜

[thesilverlady]

I love your rhaegon headcanons and I can't wait for more!

thank you anon! 🥺 you're really sweet

I hope to come up with some new angsty ones since many have asked for those.

Though I'll admit, lately I've been toying with the idea of making some edits with my fancasts as soon as I finish my exams

I know lots of people (especially those who. came from hotd) hate fancasts because of their attachment to the cast but we definitely lack some book-inspired content for rhaegon 🤔 so I'm seriously considering it

[lilasbitch]

IMDb List for A Darker Shade of Magic Cast

Hey! I made a cast list for A Darker Shade of Magic  <3 what do you think @veschwab? 

Ruairi O’Connor as Kell Maresh 

Charlene Geisler as Lila Bard 

Adam Faison as Rhy Maresh

Cole Gleason as Holland Vosijk

Ben Wiggins as Alucard Emery

Jeff Bridges as Tieren Serense

Daniel Adegboyega as King Maxim Maresh

Zoe Saldana as Queen Emira Maresh

Dane DeHaan as Athos Dane

Saoirse Ronan as Astrid Dane

Sophie Turner as Ojka

[evangelineartemiasamos]

The Priory of the Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon:

- Queen Sabran IX Berethnet of Inys

“It is almost impossible for a queen to tell what comes from deference and what from the heart.”

[yourlocalshewerewolf]

PRIDE FANCAST, Part 1:

HAPPY PRIDE Y’ALL, first things first, I wanted to do something last year for pride, but college got the best of me, so I decided that I would do it this year instead and nothing better than hyping up some beloved LGBTQ+ characters AND artists. Since this is pride month, this entire little fancast series, with an exception of my beloved Benjamin Pratt, has members of the LGBTQ+ community cast as these amazing characters and I have a big thanks to @yourdailyqueer for that so GO SUPPORT THEM!

Benjamin Bratt as Gregorio de la Vega, formerly known as Extranõ (DC’s first openly gay character):

Now, this is a complicated character, its first apparitions were just bad and heavily stereotyped, but DC seemed to notice their mistakes and revamped the character now giving this Peruvian warlock a better treatment. However, the character is still often missing from comics, it would be nice to see him in main storylines and get to know more about him, a way to get him in the spotlight could be through the DCEU (once it figures itself out). We have seen characters start or appear on tv shows and movies and then get major roles on the comics (hell, this was the beginning of our beloved Harley Quinn) so this could be a way for Gregorio and an actor I think would nail this is my dear Benjamin Pratt. Pratt, one of my dear childhood crushes, is a great actor and would do an amazing job, plus he is well-known which could help with bringing attention to the character.

Cody Fern (some places says he never choose a specific label, others says he identifies as gay) as Jean-Paul Beaubier aka Northstar (Marvel’s first openly gay character):

I absolutely HAD to start this with Gregorio and Northstar, but outside of the obvious point in common, the way these characters were worked has some differences. Northstar was actually given quite a role (although now he also hasn’t showed up much in the comics) and is very important for the mutant universe. Since the mutants are FINALLY coming to the MCU and Marvel is remembering that they have LGBTQ+ characters, this could be a great opportunity to bring Northstar into the picture. Fern is a phenomenal actor that looks a lot like the character, I know he would be great, but the only problem is that Jean is Canadian and has a French accent (if I'm remembering correctly) so Fern would have to work on the accent, but it wouldn't be the first time that happened.

Ben J. Pierce/Miss Benny (gay) as Timothy “Tim” Jackson Drake aka Red Robin, formerly known as Robin (bisexual):

MY BELOVED TIM DRAKE, one of my favorite Robins and one of the ones that deserves a lot more recognition (and main storylines). Tim is very dear to me and when I found out that he is confirmed to be bisexual I was so happy that I had to include him here. Again, DC needs to get itself together, but who knows, maybe it will happen soon and then we can have all Robins being portrayed in a live-action (I know someone might think of Titans since they already have what, 3 robins? But not only they didn't cast a romani actor for Dick Grayson, but, from what I saw on the internet, they seem to have rushed Jason Todd's story). When that happens, I think Miss Benny would be a good choice for the role. They already have quite a few acting credits and some solid talent so I think they could do a good job here, plus you could bring some of their songs into the soundtrack, it’s a win-win.

Usually, I like to post separated image files and then put them side by side, but there is a bit of a bug going on so I had to go with the single file option (tho, tumblr support did send me an email letting me know that they are looking into it, so, hopefully, it will be figured out soon). Anyways, all photos and characters do not belong to me, I merely edited them, all credit goes to their respective owners! I have two more parts of this little series set to post, but until then: carry on my rainbow fellas.

[sophiebaek]

My bet is on Sophie running away, I don't think they are gonna reveal the next lead without giving the current leads their moment to shine so my bet is her running away and 1 or 2 months later they reveal her (Simone was 2 months later too) besides I don't want the scene of Benedict looking at her for the first time because is such an ICONIC moment that I want the whole audience to be marvelled and focused at Luke T's acting!

Hello! I was just wondering why do you think there's a good chance that Sophie has been cast already? Also do you have any fancasts?

Answering two in one! (Warning this is long)

Yes, I think saving a Sophie reveal for next season is the best choice.

I think we already have Sophie casted because they’ve hinted her coming and I’m pretty sure the show is in pre production already since they’re filming s2 and s3 back to back. Also in the Bridgerton TUDUM, Charithra was talking about how she found the role and it was her agent that said, “I think this show is gonna be big” so with that context s1 wasn’t even out yet and they were already casting for s2. They’re probably following the same timeline. Although I don’t think we’ll get a casting reveal so soon after s2. Simone’s was around February but only because it was accidentally leaked, and the rest of the new cast were revealed in April. So maybe we’ll get an announcement around July (mid summer)?

I don’t have any specific fan cast atm. I hope they go for someone more unknown so they can really become Sophie Beckett. They might stay within the Netflix actor circle since that’s what they like to do a lot for their shows. Netflix knows this is one of their biggest shows now so they won’t take casting lightly.

As a WOC I would love to see her as one as well; I just hope that casting understands and has worked through the potential problems that can arise with a story like aofag (the whole India thing has me a bit worried tbh just like the “love solved racism” line and made the show way more complicated; I would’ve liked it a whole bunch better if they didn’t even mention it). As someone who has seen representation of their race and culture on screen, some of the best representations are when the story isn’t solely focused on our struggles or culture. It’s just an amazing story about someone who happens to be a poc. I think the show could’ve broken more boundaries by casting the Bridgerton’s as a family of color (even though I love most of their casting choices), because then we could’ve followed interracial couples that didn’t always include a white romantic lead, but that’s probably asking for too much honestly 🤷🏻‍♀️.

One of my favorite fancastings for Sophie is casting an East Asian actress; that just makes sense for some reason (the girls that get it, get it). It would also be a nice nod to one of the oldest iterations of Cinderella that was a Chinese story from the ninth century, “Yeh-Shen.” This edit by @inksuvich is absolutely beautiful and I think about it all the time 🤍

But no matter how they cast Sophie I will 100% support the actress because this fandom can be very toxic ☕️

[littlerockerao3]

ASOIAF fancast because I have nothing better to do

So, the show got a few characters pretty well imo (Robb, Arya, Sansa, Sam, Cersei, Tywin, ecc...) though some of them, despite their incredible acting (like Alfie Allen), do not look like the book version at all. Many characters haven’t been included at all, instead. And since I can’t seem to sleep, I’ll just put my ideal fancast of a few characters here.

Edit: I actually made this yesterday but posting it just now. Still at midnight.

If you’d like, tell me your opinion, even about the characters that are not included here!

Let’s get started!

Theon Greyjoy

Tanned, hot as hell, almond shaped eyes, sharp face. He has everything. Maybe his nose should be a little pointier and curved, and his eyes a little darker but I think Theon’s one of the hardest characters to imagine (since he’s so hot he might look unreal lol), and Samuel Larsen resembles him quite well, imo.

Asha Greyjoy

Again, her nose should be sharp and stuff, but I think Lzzy Hale has the right energy to portray Asha. Also, look at that SMIRK😍

Rickon Stark

This is a though one. Art was the cutest baby Rickon ever and I will always love him. Now, we all agree that Insatiable sucked but I personally find Michael Provost really cute, so that’s kind of how I’m picturing older Rickon in modern aus. If only he had auburn hair...

Satin Flowers

Everyone pictures him as Ezra Miller and I honestly couldn’t agree more because I mean, Ezra Miller is perfect for everything lol. But since I’m writing an AU about Satin (xJon) where he’s 17 in modern world, I tend to imagine him to look a little younger. A little like Timothee Chalamet :). Also, we all agree that the only reason why Satin wasn’t in the show was because Kit Harington was probably the most suitable one for his role, right? Lol.

Loras Tyrell

He’s like, 15/16 in the first book, isn’t he? In this picture in particular, River Phoenix resembles the idea of the attractive teen I imagine Loras as.

Jeyne

Maya Mitchell reminds me of a Jeyne. Don’t know if Poole or Westerling though.

Arianne Martell

I just can’t picture her differently than this fanart by Magali Villanueve. Do I really need to explain why?

Daenerys

Bad quality, but probably the only picture of the actress which kind of resembles the idea I have in mind for Daenerys. Poppy Lee Friar starred in some Disney Channel series I watched as a kid, where she played a ghost. I don’t really see her as Dany, but this picture reminds me at least a little of her.

This Goddess here

Though maybe I wouldn’t picture her as Dany, Hunter Shafer has the typical Targaryen looks (aka, she’s fucking hot as hell)

Jon Snow

I saw some post where someone believed young Keanu Reeves was suitable for Jon, and I agree with them! Maybe he still looks a little too old for a teen, and his features are too soft, but he’s close. :)

Pt. 2 coming soon! (Probably)

[hcrror]

✨💌 self promo time: reply with five of your favorite creations and pass this on to some of your favorite creators! Thank you for making such lovely things 💌

thank you so much roxy!!! I have more than five favorites (that sounds kinda narcissistic but I am proud of some of the edits I make lolol) but i’m gonna name ones I don’t really gush about often.

my recent oliver marks edit: who saw this coming? me, I did. this style of editing of mine is my favorite to do idk why but I love it. I used my remus lupin edit as inspo sfdghsdjk. THIS EDIT THOUGH, despite it being my kin character, TOOK ME A WEEK TO FINISH!!! it was sitting in my drafts and- the coloring just drove me insane. I don’t use psds so I kept having to desaturate and saturate and mess with the temperature. in the end it looks.....muted and brown...but I hope it’s not too shgkjd not appealing to look at?? I love the edit, I do, it’s my baby oliver how could I not?? I battled with if the fancast was good for it because the way the text sits on his face felt weird to me at first, but it turned out ok.

my cassian edit: this one I was so worried about doing because finding a fancast for cassian was hard. however, I decided to do it in the style of my remus lupin edit so I only had to find one photo lolol. I went with a cabin in the woods vibe because he is an illyrian and he does his training in camps and in the woods. I was frustrated because I couldn’t find a wing picture that I liked to show he was illyrian but that last panel with the bird in the background is a nice touch. cassian is one of my favorite characters and this was an edit I spent several hours on and expected to flop but it didn’t. I really do like it and I’m glad others do also.

my slytherin house edit: so I am a slytherin and I just one day felt like making a hogwarts house aesthetic edit. the coloring for this is a muted dark green with minty green accents with the text. I love the vibe of the edit which is very much dark academia. my favorite quote in the welcome message on pottermore is the caption: “Now there are a few things you should know about Slytherin - and a few you should forget...” I am more slytherin than what people think but I think I am also a mix of hufflepuff and slytherin. idk jfgshdjg I am rambling but this is my beloved hp house edit and I love it a lot.

this tessa gray edit: I love this more than the past tessa gray edit i’ve done. I got the inspiration from my friend iniya’s (@daji) annabeth chase edit which is stunning. I loved how I placed the “do not seek revenge and call it justice” quote with the line in between. this one was just so easy to put together and I didn’t really need much feedback on it because I was/am proud of it.

this hadestown typo edit: you can thank coco (@laststop) for getting me obsessed with this musical. I now have a multifandom sideblog themed after hadestown. making edits of musicals is what i’m still figuring out how to do, but for this one I just decided to do a typography edit. I chose the song “flowers” and did a contrast between the lyric “dreams are sweet, until they’re not” one photo being in color, the other being in b&w. I had an exact idea of what font to use which coco provided me with. and this turned out really pretty. I love it a lot and I plan to make another hadestown edit soon.

I ramble too much sfjkshjf

[sagehaleyofficial]

HERE’S WHAT YOU MISSED THIS WEEK (4.29-5.5.20):

NEW MUSIC:

Hopeless Records presented their first Hopeless Vault release, which was revealed to be All Time Low’s Future Hearts B-Sides. The label also released a limited time merchandise item that is only available for 72 hours.

Linkin Park are rumored to be working on new music, according to bassist Dave “Phoenix” Farrell in a new interview on the online wine show Dan Really Likes Wine. However, their writing process is currently on hold due to coronavirus.

Dashboard Confessional participated in the Spotify Singles series. In addition to a reimagining of their hit song “Screaming Infidelities,” lead singer Chris Carrabba and friends tackled a cover of Post Malone’s “Circles.”

Singer-songwriter Christofer Drew took to Instagram to share that he will be releasing a solo acoustic album later this year. The former Never Shout Never frontman announced that the band was ending back in 2018.

Motionless in White shared a revisited version of their song “Another Life,” which has been remixed by Beartooth‘s Caleb Shomo. The song comes from their 2019 album Disguise and received critical acclaim from fans.

TOUR ANNOUNCEMENTS:

After much consideration, the Sad Summer Fest announced that its 2020 run is scheduled to go on as originally planned. However, they are carefully monitoring the situation as they review new COVID-19 developments every day.

Green Day frontman Billie Joe Armstrong performed on The Late Late Show with James Corden, covering the hit “I Think We’re Alone Now” by Tommy James and the Shondells. He later covered the Italian song “Amico,” originally by Don Backy.

The co-headlining Bad Religion and Alkaline Trio tour was cancelled, with the former also revealing that they are calling off all of their 2020 shows. The band is choosing to cancel and not reschedule, with refunds reissuing for all tickets.

Fearless Records is hosting a livestream on May 9th, through which they are offering acoustic performances, exclusive content, signing announcements, Q&As and more. The label has yet to reveal the full lineup.

Inkcarceration Festival has officially cancelled its 2020 event due to the ongoing coronavirus pandemic. The festival was originally set to run July 10th-12th at the Historic Ohio State Reformatory in Mansfield, Ohio.

After postponing several European shows, My Chemical Romance have unfortunately postponed more shows on their summer run. The band are rescheduling shows in Prague, Bologna, Bonn, Kiev, Moscow and St. Petersburg.

Green Day’s Billie Joe Armstrong performed a tribute to bandmate Mike Dirnt for his birthday. The frontman covered Kim Wilde’s classic track “Kids in America” while wishing his bandmate a happy birthday, along with an illustration of Dirnt.

OTHER NEWS:

Electric Century, the side project of My Chemical Romance bassist Mikey Way, revealed they will have a new graphic novel out soon, as well as a corresponding album. The new graphic novel is self-titled and is due this fall through Z2 Comics.

To celebrate the anniversary of their album From Under the Cork Tree, Fall Out Boy is releasing limited-edition items. Items for sale include clothing, a puzzle and a beautiful 2LP red and black split vinyl record.

While Vans are fundraising to help develop equipment for frontline workers, the company also created new footwear featuring a twist on their checkerboard design. It revealed a new line sporting a washed-out effect over three different styles.

Singer Cady Groves passed away at the age of 30, as shared by her brother Cody on Twitter. After the initial tweet was posted, Cody has since updated that an autopsy report shows she passed due to natural causes.

My Chemical Fancast, a popular My Chemical Romance themed podcast, is hosting a trivia contest this Friday, May 8th. The trivia contest features a $100 donation toward a charity of the winner’s choice.

___

Check in next Tuesday for more “Posi Talk with Sage Haley,” only at @sagehaleyofficial!

[awesome-en-vogue-craze-post-blog]

Part of Us: An En Vogue Fancast | Favourite Live Performances - Part One

The Part of Us crew shares their top 12 favourite live En Vogue performances in this two-part episode. Part two coming soon!

Please rate, review and subscribe to Part of Us: An En Vogue Fancast. Your support goes a long way in helping us to grow our community and reach more listeners.

For even more content on En Vogue, visit us on Twitter @PartofUsFancast and on Facebook, Instagram and YouTube @envoguecraze

Your feedback is always appreciated. Send comments, questions and topic suggestions to: partofusevf@gmail.com

Music by: Wolves and Vincent Tone

Produced & edited by Matthew at Culture Inject Studios.

Check out this episode!

[staircasttext]

Ep 18: Purrlock Holmes

Episode 18

[intro music]

LIZ: That's the price for being a cool tattoo bad guy now.

PAZ: Yeah, with my little cow.

JULIAN: Yeah, Paz's cow tattoo has made them a regular Tigerclaw.

LIZ: Yes, stealing cows is a crime.

PAZ: Tigerclaw's that guy who has like, Mom tattooed on his huge bicep. Does he have a canonical-- does he have mom problems? I don't even know.

JULIAN: Oh, I don't remember.

PAZ: I typed that into google. Martial arts supplies. You don't...

JULIAN: Oh, no. Here, I pulled up the wiki. Um, his mother was Leopardfoot, who only appears in the super editions.

PAZ: Oh, she was apparently the mate of the former leader, Pinestar.

JULIAN: Damn.

PAZ: Maybe he has daddy issues.

LIZ: Maybe he's like--

PAZ: It sounds like maybe he has daddy issues.

JULIAN: Oh damn. Goosefeather asks why the clan leader's mate had such a hard birth, saying StarClan was angry.

PAZ: Oh.

LIZ: [gasps] StarClan said this baby was evil.

JULIAN: The old medicine cat also sees evil in Tigerkit and tries to warn the clan.

LIZ: What?!

JULIAN: Assigned evil at kitten.

LIZ: Does StarClan like--

PAZ: Does he get--

LIZ: No, go ahead.

PAZ: Does he murder that medicine cat at zero days old? What happened to her?

LIZ: Oh, I bet he did. They fucking like Damian'ed this tiny baby cat.

PAZ: Is this in like a super edition? Maybe we gotta read that one.

JULIAN: Yeah, it is. It's in the Bluestar's Prophecy super edition.

LIZ: This is so funny.

JULIAN: There's also-- "during Snowfur's kitting, Bluefur brings a stick and tells Leopardfoot that it's for Snowfur to clamp her jaws on when the pains come. Leopardfoot remembers her painful kitting, wishing she also had a stick."

PAZ: Why didn't anyone bring her a stick?

JULIAN: Why didn't anyone get her a stick?

LIZ: They have a forest. They have to have them.

PAZ: Oh my god.

JULIAN: There's a lot of sticks.

LIZ: You don't need a big one. They're cats.

PAZ: Aren't there sticks all around their camp?

LIZ: They're probably sleeping on some. Just like, get one. What if--

PAZ: Okay, extremely funny.

LIZ: Leopardfoot sounds just normal right now.

PAZ: Yeah, except she has a horrible evil infant.

JULIAN: She doesn't seem to really have a personality beyond mother, based on this.

PAZ: From what I'm reading about Pinestar, I think maybe Tigerclaw had some daddy issues because Pinestar apparently left to go be a kittypet.

LIZ: Oh.

PAZ: Yeah, the drama.

JULIAN: Well, shit.

LIZ: Wow.

PAZ: I don't know if it ever comes up in the main series. I don't know.

LIZ: Pinestar's got it right.

PAZ: Yeah, Pinestar did what we have been saying this whole podcast.

LIZ: He's like, fuck all of this. I'm going inside.

JULIAN: Do it. Get out.

LIZ: Also, my baby is evil. I'm out of here.

PAZ: Yeah.

LIZ: What if this baby just had bad vibes?

PAZ: Your baby ever have such bad vibes you move? You move to another country.

JULIAN: Yeah, this whole Pinestar backstory only appears in the super editions.

PAZ: Huh.

LIZ: This is so funny.

PAZ: What? "When StarClan began urging Pinestar to kill his own son."

LIZ: What?

JULIAN: Holy shit.

PAZ: That's why he left. He was... wait, he was twins with Jake?

JULIAN: Yeah.

PAZ: The intricacies.

LIZ: Wow.

JULIAN: There's so many layers here. Wow. Wow.

LIZ: I mean, like if you look at the map that's in the book, they all kind of just live in the same neighborhood.

PAZ: I know.

LIZ: It's a very small community.

JULIAN: Tight knit.

PAZ: Wow. [laughing] Hi everyone. Welcome to Stairway to StarClan, a Warriors Cat reread pawdcast. I'm Paz.

JULIAN: I'm Julian.

LIZ: I'm Liz. Was that bonus content?

PAZ: No, that's cold open, baby.

LIZ: We gotta put some spoilers.

PAZ: I don't think Pinestar from the bonus novels is that much--

LIZ: What if people want to read the bonus novels?

PAZ: Well...

LIZ: You don't know.

PAZ: Too bad. Pinestar is described as "massive."

LIZ: Big boy.

JULIAN: Tigerclaw had to get it from somewhere.

PAZ: Yeah.

LIZ: What if Pinestar just looks like Bone Bone?

JULIAN: [yelps] Sorry about what that did to my audio.

LIZ: So Tigerclaw sees this little kittypet baby come into his home and is like, I'm going to have father issues right now.

PAZ: Yeah, apparently that's what happened.

LIZ: At this baby.

PAZ: That does seem to be the case, huh.

LIZ: That's so extremely funny.

PAZ: Oh, that's incredible. Well, we didn't read about Pinestar this week. We're still just reading Forest of Secrets. Um, what the fuck did we read? Chapter four through chapter six. Guys, there's a lot of secrets in this forest.

JULIAN: Yeah, this forest I would say is very secretive.

PAZ: Maybe there wouldn't be so much secrets if any of the cats talked to each other, but.

JULIAN: I think the cats should have a sharing circle. I know they have gatherings, and Bluestar calls them to hang out at the high rock or whatever. But I think they need more.

PAZ: Or even like an anonymous message board. They could just post things on a tree.

LIZ: They need Gossip Girl.

PAZ: [laughing] Gossip Girl.

JULIAN: Are you suggesting that the cats develop Yik Yak?

PAZ: Yes. I like Warriors Gossip Girl.

JULIAN: Warriors Gossip Girl is very good.

PAZ: I hope someone wrote that.

JULIAN: I hope someone did too.

LIZ: [typing] Warrior Cats Gossip Girl.

JULIAN: Pop on over to Warriors - Erin Hunter.

PAZ: Any hits?

JULIAN: Zero works found.

PAZ: Oh my god. Once again, we're putting out a call to action.

LIZ: There is a fan art, I think, or a regular art of someone called Ivypool from last year. But it's just captioned "xoxo, Gossip Girl."

PAZ: I think that must be a newer character. I don't remember them.

LIZ: Maybe she's the Gossip Girl.

PAZ: Or it could be an OC.

LIZ: Maybe someone's doing the thing that Warrior Cats needs, then. I support them.

PAZ: Yeah. Finally.

JULIAN: Sorry. I stumbled upon a fancast website. Someone has fancast John Boyega as Lionblaze.

PAZ: Oh my god. Stop, that's gonna make me have to like Lionblaze, who I think is so boring.

LIZ: These cats are British. I keep remembering that.

PAZ: That'd be a great VA, though. Let John Boyega voice some cats.

JULIAN: Fancasting suggestion made by totaltrashfiremammal.

PAZ: Great idea. Should we--

LIZ: What were we doing?

JULIAN: Let's--

PAZ: Wow. Distracted before we even said anything about what we read. Okay. Chapter four. Fireheart, Graystripe and Sandstorm are out hunting, and it looks like leafbare will be over soon. Fireheart sees Brackenpaw having fun with the other two and misses Cinderpaw, wishing she was still his apprentice. He catches a rabbit, and Bluestar says to bring it to Yellowfang, who is training Cinderpaw in medicine. He remembers Tigerclaw injuring Cinderpaw and how dangerous he is to the clan.

The next day, Fireheart and Graystripe sneak into RiverClan territory to talk to Silverstream to ask about Redtail and Oakheart. Silverstream says she wasn't there when he died, but brings her friend Mistyfoot, a gray cat who seems familiar to Fireheart, and who fought in the battle where Oakheart died. Mistyfoot confirms Ravenpaw's story about Oakheart dying in a rockfall accident and reveals that he was her father and that Stonefur is her brother. She says she can ask her mother Graypool, an elder now, to talk to him another time about what Oakheart said about Stonefur.

Chapter five. Fireheart returns to camp where everyone makes fun of him for being stinky, a disguise for smelling-- for covering up that he'd been in RiverClan. He sees Cloudkit impatiently asking Brindleface why he can't be an apprentice yet. Bluestar announces two new apprentices, Thornpaw and Brightpaw. Graystripe returns and says the meeting with Graypool is arranged for tomorrow.

The next day, Fireheart and Graystripe meet with Mistyfoot, Silverstream, and Graypool. Fireheart asks what Oakheart meant when he said no ThunderClan cat should ever harm Stonefur. Graypool asks the other cats to leave so she can speak to Fireheart alone. She reveals that she isn't Mistyfoot and Stonefur's biological mother and that Oakheart brought them to her as abandoned kits to raise. She said she didn't believe him and that she could tell back then that the kits smelled like ThunderClan.

Chapter six. Fireheart is shocked at what Graypool says, asking if Oakheart stole the kits. Graypool says Oakheart would never. She also says she raised Mistyfoot and Stonefur because she respected Oakheart and she didn't want their loyalty to be divided, and that she will rip out Fireheart's liver if he ever tells them. Graypool rules. He promises not to and is very respectful. She also says they never suspected anything, especially since they look so much like her (gray cats) which Fireheart thinks about briefly before forgetting.

Fireheart returns to camp and goes to talk to Bluestar, a gray cat, about what he's learned. He tells her about going to see Ravenpaw and the RiverClan she-cats, everything about Oakheart dying on accident, and how it means Tigerclaw was lying about killing him, and how dangerous Tigerclaw is to the clan. Bluestar seems thoughtful, but when Fireheart tells her that he learned about Mistyfoot and Stonefur, she gets angry and immediately dismisses him. She says to never bring it up again, that maybe Tigerclaw was right to doubt his loyalty, and Fireheart is bewildered, wondering if he's blown his chance to convince her. And that's the end of the readings this week.

LIZ: Gray is a very common color. It's kind of like--

PAZ: That's true. It is.

LIZ: It's the most neutral of the colors.

JULIAN: It could happen to anybody.

PAZ: They're not like fucking white cats.

LIZ: Or an orange cat.

PAZ: No, there's another orange. One of the new apprentices was orange, apparently.

LIZ: Yeah, orange and white. Seems to be more common than... I don't know. Get it together, ThunderClan.

PAZ: Well, that really just shows they're just cat racist because there are other orange and white cats in the clan.

JULIAN: I love Graypool.

LIZ: She's great.

JULIAN: Just got to get that right out there.

PAZ: Yeah, she's so good.

JULIAN: Cranky old grandma. I love her.

PAZ: I love all the old she-cats in this book. Yellowfang, now Graypool.

LIZ: They're all just like, oooh, my arthritis. You kids these days.

PAZ: She even says something like that.

JULIAN: Oh yeah, Fireheart brings her a mouse and she's like, well, I'm glad you're respectful at least, with this undertone of like, everyone else sucks.

PAZ: Yeah. Fireheart's bringing a gift for being allowed to stay over at her house.

LIZ: Fireheart brings her edible arrangements to Grandma. He's a nice young man. This is why he's the favorite of all the grandmas.

JULIAN: He is a nice young man.

PAZ: He is a good nice young man.

LIZ: Except for the President.

PAZ: Yeah, we'll get to Bluestar, but man.

LIZ: Listen, he's got like, what, three now? So it's okay.

PAZ: Um, but should we go back to the beginning of chapter four?

JULIAN: Yeah, this little hunting trip is cute. Brackenpaw starts defending Graystripe. And it's like he does not deserve you.

LIZ: No.

PAZ: Right. It made me really sad. I'm like, Graystripe has abandoned you like 80% of your apprenticeship.

LIZ: And that's such a long time when you're a cat. Brackenpaw's probably like 16 now in cat years.

JULIAN: That's a nice young man.

PAZ: That is a nice young man, and he deserves a better teacher.

LIZ: Maybe Sandstorm will be his teacher.

PAZ: Yeah, I don't know if Gray-- Graypelt-- fuck. Graystripe.

LIZ: Lots of gray cats.

PAZ: I forgot his name. I wanted to banish him from my mind. I don't even know if Graystripe is training him still, even.

JULIAN: Yeah, it's like is Brackenpaw like-- does he have the skills he needs to become a warrior? Is he gonna pass the cat SATs?

PAZ: I don't know.

LIZ: What's that thing you do when you have like the self guided study thing, but it's in high school?

JULIAN: An independent study?

LIZ: You know what I mean? Yeah, maybe he just has that, but it's like his whole day.

PAZ: What he has is like five different teachers, none of whom are Graystripe.

JULIAN: It takes a village. Ugh.

PAZ: Also very important, in this chapter in the scene after the hunting, there's a description of Yellowfang loafing.

LIZ: Yes.

JULIAN: Oh, yes. Yes. Yes!

LIZ: Oh my god.

PAZ: It was like one line, but I was like, oh my god. Picturing it.

LIZ: She's just like, little old lady loaf.

PAZ: She'd look like a cloud with all that fur.

LIZ: Oh my god.

JULIAN: Oh!

LIZ: Yellowfang, another gray cat.

JULIAN: I want to scrumble her so bad.

PAZ: She would bite your hand off.

JULIAN: I know. It would be worth it.

LIZ: She'd be real slow, though. She's a little old lady.

JULIAN: Yeah, maybe she doesn't have all her teeth. Maybe I'd be fine.

PAZ: Oh my god. Yeah, there's another description of Graypool. I think that's other old lady RiverClan cat, where it mentioned like all her broken teeth. Her little old missing lady teeth.

LIZ: Aw.

JULIAN: [wails]

LIZ: Maybe Yellowfang is, despite her name, she's like Chloe. She's just like, no teeth.

JULIAN: Bluestar is gonna have to rename her to Nofang.

PAZ: No.

LIZ: No! Bluestar's so bad at this.

JULIAN: God.

PAZ: I think Bluestar does a real bad renaming soon. Maybe in the next book. I think it's coming up. So yeah, Bluestar does suck at this.

JULIAN: Yeah, she has some-- pretty few jobs. She has a lot of jobs. But she doesn't do great at the one she has.

LIZ: No.

PAZ: No. Really does not. Yeah, I mean, but in the medicine den is like Cinderpaw and Yellowfang. And they have very cute interactions, but Fireheart's man pain.

JULIAN: Oh my god.

PAZ: And like guilt.

LIZ: God.

PAZ: It's never ending. I'm like, Can you just shut up?

JULIAN: It's like every other sentence, just like, oh, what she could have had. But tragedy took it from us.

LIZ: Oh my God.

PAZ: It's really frustrating because like, that's just like, what he's been like, if he hadn't been thinking that, Cinderpaw seems like she's having a fine time. But he's still hung up on that.

LIZ: His man pain's really typical. Because it's like, I wish I could spend more time with basically my daughter. Time to go.

JULIAN: Yeah. It's like, oh, if only there were something I could do to make this poor child's life easier. Bye! I thought about how sad it made me, and that's the same as doing something.

LIZ: I wish I had a nice relationship with my child. Gotta go.

JULIAN: Cinderpaw and Brackenpaw should talk.

PAZ: Yeah, they got some deadbeat teachers in differing ways here.

LIZ: Maybe they do. And we just don't see it because we're only seeing it from Fireheart's point of view, and he's never there.

PAZ: That's true.

JULIAN: God. Yeah, I mean, sort of on that note, I think, Liz, you pointed out that, like, the narration uses the word cripple to talk about her a lot.

LIZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: Which is like, yikes. But I think in a lot of ways that kind of fits with the like, the tone that Fireheart has of this sort of like paternalistic, like, oh, poor Cinderpaw. Poor, helpless Cinderpaw. Like I think just sort of doing a quick look into the history of the word, like a lot of disabled people have either reclaimed it or consider it a slur. But also, like, its history is very much one of like, being tied to like, really paternalistic, like, oh, we gotta save the poor children. And like not viewing people, disabled people as like, adults with agency, or people who will become adults with agency.

LIZ: It's kind of sad and interesting that this is also like, it's the narrative's point of view, right? This is what the reader is supposed to think as well.

JULIAN: Yeah, definitely.

PAZ: Because, like, if this had been on purpose, and would be like, investigating and critiqued at some point, it'd be very, like, accurate, sort of depiction of the way people treat disabled people. But it's not.

LIZ: No.

JULIAN: It is an accurate depiction of the ways that-- [laughter]

PAZ: Because they're just not thinking about it. It's just like the societal, like, views of the author just coming through.

JULIAN: Yeah. I'm glad that Cinderpaw has Yellowfang at least. Like their relationship is really good.

LIZ: Yeah, they're really sweet.

PAZ: Yellowfang would be such a cool teacher to have.

LIZ: She's one, around. She sticks up for Cinderpaw a lot, too, which is nice. And I know a lot is um, comparatively low bar compared to everyone else. I'm glad to see it.

JULIAN: It also seems like she's like, hey, like, you know, you're like a very energetic young cat. Let's find you something to do.

PAZ: Yeah, like, she assigns tasks to Cinderpaw. She's not like Fireheart, where it's like, no, Cinderpaw, she can't do anything now. That scene does make Fireheart remember, though, that Tigerclaw's evil. He has to keep being reminded.

LIZ: I know it's like--

JULIAN: I think he should get some post it notes.

PAZ: That's what I'm saying.

LIZ: The way it's written, it seems like-- it feels like he forgets and it just comes back now and then in a way that's like, very accurately cat like. I know it's like-- cause it's for the reader, right? It's like, oh, this happened like two books ago, but.

PAZ: I'll give him points. He takes the last step. He does a lot of investigative work this set of chapters.

JULIAN: He does. He's doing his little detective routine.

PAZ: Yeah, he's a regular Sherlock Holmes here.

LIZ: Don't you mean Purrlock Holmes?

JULIAN: Oh.

LIZ: He's a regular gumpaw.

PAZ: Aw.

JULIAN: Aw. I do have to critique his plan when they're like, oh, we have to go into RiverClan territory and hide out for Silverstream.

PAZ: Yes.

LIZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: Both of us.

PAZ: The note--

JULIAN: Like, you couldn'ta just met her at Fourtrees and asked her there?

PAZ: The note I wrote in my notes was "Fireheart back to being dumb here. Proximity to Graystripe."

[laughter]

JULIAN: Oh.

PAZ: Yeah, I guess in fiction the reason for that was like, he's like, [gruffly] I can't wait. But I think he could have waited maybe a little.

LIZ: Is that what he sounds like in your head?

PAZ: I don't know. Yeah, maybe he's like-- I feel like he'd have that like shonen boy protag like voice conviction.

JULIAN: I do-- the description of Silverstream is so funny.

LIZ: It is.

PAZ: Spottedleaf, move aside.

LIZ: Can we get a read on her description? It's really good.

JULIAN: Yeah. "Fireheart watched the RiverClan she-cat stepping delicately across the ice toward the bank. She was certainly beautiful, he realized, with a finely shaped head, and thick, sleek fur. No wonder Graystripe was captivated by her." Finely-shaped head?!

PAZ: The authors are trying so hard on how to write cat attractiveness.

JULIAN: What makes a cat sexy? Is it the head shape? I think it's the head shape. I mean, like, I would rather it be a finely shaped head than like her curvy butt or whatever.

LIZ: I know how that would happen, though. It would be like her finely shaped rump or something.

JULIAN: Her like sinuous flanks.

LIZ: Ew.

PAZ: Yeah, it's funny, but it's way better than what could be.

LIZ: Do you think they're gonna hit like their stride later, and it's just gonna be oh, she had beautiful fur and luminous eyes, and then you can just stop.

PAZ: Probably. There's a lot of cat romance in these books. They got to get practice. Shout outs to RiverClan for having an island that they live on?

LIZ: Yeah, that's really good.

PAZ: That's so defensible.

JULIAN: Yeah, it's good as hell.

PAZ: Nobody's invading them.

JULIAN: They're the only ones who can swim.

PAZ: Meanwhile, WindClan's just sleeping in a hollow in the hills. No wonder they've been attacked twice.

LIZ: Someone please save these cats.

PAZ: I'm gonna go build those cats a house.

JULIAN: Also shout out to Mistyfoot for being sort of the beleaguered best friend.

PAZ: Oh my god. Yeah, I did love that vibe.

LIZ: Isn't she like a mom? Did I read that wrong?

PAZ: No, Mistyfoot, I think is like, kind of maybe like a little older than Silverstream, I think?

LIZ: Maybe I'm just confused by all the mom stuff happening. I could have sworn she's like, I have to get back to my kits.

PAZ: She's the one who says Graypool was-- oh, maybe. I don't know. Maybe she did.

JULIAN: I think she might have mentioned kits. Hold up. I don't see that. But I might be missing it.

PAZ: I'm looking.

LIZ: It's not super important.

PAZ: Yeah, she does mention I've left my kits.

LIZ: Oh, okay, good.

PAZ: I think her and Silverstream are like peers.

LIZ: Yeah, I just mentioned it because it's very funny to have your best friend, who is the president's daughter, just be like okay, I've gotta go meet up with my boyfriend, who is from the enemy clan, and also his friend. And we're gonna talk about all this secret shit. And it's just like, I'm living my normal life.

PAZ: She's in her own YA novel.

LIZ: She is down, though. She's like, okay, I'll bring my mom to talk to you enemy cats.

PAZ: Yeah, she's surprisingly chill. You know, Julian, I can see why you might have liked RiverClan as a kid. There's a lot of cool she-cats in RiverClan. I'll give them that.

JULIAN: I think it was also just like RiverClan was my clan for my RP OC, so it's a lot of sort of reflected affection.

LIZ: Like aesthetically, also, it's a very cool one. And also I'll give it to you if not Graystripe.

PAZ: I can't remember who the cat in the New Prophecy for RiverClan was.

LIZ: Fishtail.

PAZ: No, hold on, I'm looking.

LIZ: Swimfoot.

JULIAN: Salmonbelly.

PAZ: Warriors wiki, where are you?

LIZ: Salmonbelly was born with a very pink tummy.

PAZ: Can I-- who the fuck was it?

JULIAN: Stormfur?

PAZ: Maybe.

JULIAN: Never mind.

PAZ: Feathertail?

LIZ: Butterflystroke.

PAZ: Okay, Feathertail was from-- I don't remember this book. Who are you people?

JULIAN: Okay, Feathertail is a RiverClan.

PAZ: They're fucking point of view characters? I don't remember these people. Wow.

LIZ: That makes sense. You said they do like to have more cats per book later on or something.

PAZ: Yeah, yeah, the following series, I think everything since the first series has like rotating POV characters.

LIZ: Sounds fun.

PAZ: Wow, I can't believe I just don't remember this.

JULIAN: I read the whole New Prophecy and I don't remember any of this.

PAZ: I did too. It was my favorite. I remember-- I mean, okay, I remember like, obviously, like Brambleclaw, Squirrelflight, Leafpool, Crowfeather, Ashfur. What book were Stormfur and Feathertail? Apparently they didn't leave a big impression on me.

LIZ: I'm excited to get to it, just--

PAZ: Oh, I love the New Prophecy. I think it still might be my favorite out of the three series I've read.

LIZ: Is it the second one, right? So we're three books away. Is that right? Three?

PAZ: I have no idea.

LIZ: How many--

JULIAN: Yeah, cause there's six per series.

LIZ: That's an afternoon of reading.

JULIAN: Yeah, slam right through em. This is a little bit unrelated. And I don't know if we have more to talk about with this first meeting. But the image of Fireheart showing up to these kits' naming ceremonies absolutely covered in shit.

PAZ: Literally, it's very funny.

JULIAN: Reeking.

PAZ: I like that Sandstorm just teases him.

JULIAN: Yeah, it's really cute.

PAZ: They're very cute together.

JULIAN: Yeah. It's just like the image of like, you know, your shitty cousin arrives at your kindergarten graduation, like covered in feces. No one will sit near him.

LIZ: But he's very supportive. God, is he gonna take a bath?

PAZ: I guess-- I guess so.

JULIAN: How is he gonna? Is he gonna like go in the river?

PAZ: Wasn't there something in the last book where he--

JULIAN: Is he gonna have to lick his shit off himself?

PAZ: No, no, there was something in the last book where he also had to go in the river to wash off something.

JULIAN: Oh, that's right. He had-- it was mouse bile.

LIZ: Ew.

PAZ: Yeah, that was the first book so yes, they did do that.

LIZ: All right, thank god.

PAZ: Not just gonna lick that off. Yeah.

LIZ: So this advice was from Graystripe. Do you think every time he's got to take a bath he's like, ohhh, my forbidden romance requires me to roll in feces and then take a bath, two of the things that I hate as a cat.

PAZ: He's dedicated. That's my nice comment about Graystripe for the day.

LIZ: Is it true love until you-- I can't finish the sentence.

PAZ: Yeah, there's a naming ceremony. I couldn't tell if they were really big babies because they were like Cinderpaw and Brackenfur's siblings. But I was like, are they from the same litter? Why are they so big?

JULIAN: Yeah, I don't know.

PAZ: Bluestar's always going on about how we need more warriors and then she's not making people warriors. She's not making people apprentices.

JULIAN: Just a sec.

PAZ: Okay.

JULIAN: Sorry.

PAZ: What was it?

JULIAN: It was mango pomelo cheese tea.

LIZ: Ooh.

PAZ: Ooh. Damn.

JULIAN: It is very good.

PAZ: That is important to try.

LIZ: Damn, I want something-- I want a fancy drink.

JULIAN: Naming ceremony. Bluestar's inability to move her kits along the path at any sort of rate.

PAZ: I'm really starting to have questions about Bluestar's ability to lead.

LIZ: What happened to the girlboss of our dreams?

PAZ: Well, it's just Graypool now.

JULIAN: Although I guess--

LIZ: But she's retired.

JULIAN: They can't become apprentices until they're six months old. How often can cats have litters?

LIZ: This is so crucial.

JULIAN: Oh my god. "Once pregnant, a cat's gestation period is roughly two months, making it possible for her to birth as many as five litters a year."

PAZ: Oh my gosh.

LIZ: Ahh!

PAZ: Holy shit.

JULIAN: So it could be just another litter.

PAZ: Yeah, I guess so. Nevermind. Yeah, cause they could just be like two months younger.

JULIAN: God, that's horrifying.

PAZ: What a nightmare.

LIZ: That's scary. I am looking at six month old kittens for just like reference. This is a pretty big cat. Gonna show you a little baby. Or I will if I can copy paste anything correctly. Yeah.

PAZ: That's a full cat there.

JULIAN: Oh yeah. That's a little boy.

LIZ: Yeah. So that means Cloudkit's even bigger than this.

PAZ: No, no, no, Cloudkit's younger.

LIZ: Right? I mean, like, yeah, he's younger, but he says he's like, bigger, right?

PAZ: Does he?

JULIAN: He does, but I get the sense that we're not supposed to take that seriously.

LIZ: It's all fluff. He poofs himself up real big.

PAZ: Aw.

JULIAN: Oh, buddy.

LIZ: Or he's just like a big baby. Which is also good to me.

PAZ: That'd be great. After that naming ceremony though is the Graypool scene where, very funny. The scene where like Silverstream and Mistyfoot were walking her out on her little grandma walk.

JULIAN: I love her. Also the scandal here that she reveals.

PAZ: Oh, yes.

JULIAN: Absolutely incredible.

PAZ: Very big gasp moment.

LIZ: She's pretty casual about it. She's just like, yeah, I'll tell you. Everyone else leave.

PAZ: It's because Fireheart brought her a mouse. He's a nice young boy.

LIZ: You seem like an upstanding gentleman. You're my grandson now.

JULIAN: It's the one mouse per secret rule.

LIZ: If you give her like 10 mice, two per day, you get up to her, what, 10 hearts event? Where she just legally adopts you as her grandchild.

PAZ: Oh, perfect.

JULIAN: Perfect.

PAZ: Yeah, she really did-- before she said like, okay, everyone else leave, she looked at Fireheart for a really long time. I think she was perceiving his protagonist halo.

JULIAN: She can see it.

PAZ: And she's like, oh, okay, everyone else get out.

LIZ: She's like, that's a really orange cat.

JULIAN: God, this bit about when Fireheart is like, oh, did he steal the cats? Oakheat is not a kit stealer!

LIZ: God.

PAZ: He's not in Megaboneclan. Don't even imply it. I wonder if that's where they got the idea from?

JULIAN: Maybe.

PAZ: Fascinating.

JULIAN: I feel like there's like a lot of a lot of kit stealing throughout the books. There was some in--

PAZ: Oh, you're right. There was.

JULIAN: Earlier, too.

PAZ: You're right. I just keep forgetting about that.

JULIAN: I mean, it was like, all things considered, fairly minor as far as like, plot repercussions.

LIZ: They seem just like normal cats now. They're not like-- they didn't grow up evil. They didn't grow up, like, very sad. They just kind of--

PAZ: Yeah, Graypool's whole thing is like, don't tell them because I don't want them to feel conflicted suddenly. And I think Fireheart had like a good character moment where he's like, oh, I like totally understand how that feels and I don't think they should have to deal with that.

LIZ: I did like--

JULIAN: I mean, yeah. I think that she should tell them they're adopted, but.

PAZ: Well, considering that like--

JULIAN: But considering the circumstances.

PAZ: Everyone's at war constantly and hates each other, maybe, maybe not.

LIZ: And they've got some sort of weird blood purity thing sometimes.

JULIAN: God.

LIZ: I think they personally seem well adjusted enough and have a nice mom that they'd be like, oh, you're still our mom. Thank you. Sad about all of that we're from an enemy clan that seems to be doing some real shit right now, but.

PAZ: Yeah, but if other RiverClan cats found out.

JULIAN: Yeah, that would be bad.

PAZ: That might be bad. After that Graypool scene is the Bluestar scene, I think.

JULIAN: Yeah. Fireheart learns from his earlier mistakes and is like, I'm gonna tell Bluestar right away so I don't forget.

PAZ: Good. Good start.

JULIAN: I don't get distracted. Which, you know, good. And then it goes real bad.

LIZ: Well, it's at least it's not his fault this time. He did the best he could.

PAZ: Yeah, he has a very solid case laid out. Like with multiple witnesses and sources. But Bluestar's like, own personal drama makes her a real like, dumb ass about this.

JULIAN: Yeah, she completely shuts down. And Fireheart is blaming himself, which I don't think he should.

LIZ: No.

PAZ: Yeah. Yeah, like the moment he mentions the RiverClan cats, that's when she shuts him down.

LIZ: Maybe she is just threatened by these coincidentally, like gray cats. She's like, oh, another gray cat? Two other gray cats? What if they want my presidency? No other reasons.

JULIAN: That who is that other dog comic, but.

PAZ: Yeah, poor Fireheart He's trying so hard to stop everyone from getting murdered-- specifically Bluestar from getting murdered. Like she's top of the murder list.

JULIAN: I know.

PAZ: And she is just thwarting his every move.

LIZ: She's got big about to like get fridged energy.

PAZ: It's like, then perish. If you're not gonna listen to him, then perish.

LIZ: Fireheart is constantly just like throwing himself in front of her like, get down Miss President.

PAZ: She stands up.

JULIAN: I described Bluestar as a girl boss earlier, and Han was like, oh, does she like also gatekeep and gaslight? And yes, she does.

PAZ: Oh, she sure does.

LIZ: She does. Mm-hmm.

PAZ: She's in prime form this chapter. Yeah, okay, here's a-- I'll just read to give you that flavor. "Bluestar let out a long breath. All the interest she had shown before had vanished, leaving her expression cold and remote. 'Go,' she ordered. 'Find yourself something useful to do, something that befits a warrior and never, never mention this to me again. Do you understand?'"

LIZ: Oh shit.

PAZ: It's like, ma'am.

JULIAN: Sorry, his ending little thing is like, "thistles and thorns, he thought."

PAZ: Yeah, it's very very cute.

JULIAN: Which is really cute.

LIZ: That's so cute little. They're little guys.

JULIAN: Yeah, their little cat figures of speech.

PAZ: There was another one in this set of chapters that was something like, darker than a crow's wing or something like that. Just good stuff.

LIZ: I think that's the whole chapter then, right?

PAZ: Yeah. It is. It was a pretty juicy set of chapters. Lots of just-- but it's all kind of around like the same stuff. Just that RiverClan investigation.

JULIAN: That kit parentage.

LIZ: I like the way the conflict is like continuing. It feels very frustrating to read. But it's like, yeah, it would be frustrating. This is good escalation, I guess. It's like you have all of the info that you were looking for for your little murder mystery investigation. But like, now there's this different stuff happening.

PAZ: Yeah, I'm just really appreciating how well these books are written like, for kids novels, because I'm still rereading Uglies. And like, it's a good novel, and I'm enjoying it, but it feels like more clumsily handled, like the way plot beats are set up, like the way all the Chekhov's guns items are put in place and come back. But the Warriors is just like-- it's very well plotted and paced when stuff comes up.

LIZ: I think it definitely benefits from having a team to do it, right.

PAZ: Yeah, for sure. And I think they're all like experienced authors. I mean, I could be wrong, but I'm pretty-- at least I think Vicki Holmes is the one. I'm pretty sure she was like writing before. And then they tapped her to write the series.

JULIAN: I think Cherith Baldry is the one who actually wrote this one. Or like the main writer for this one. But she'd also written like, a bunch of different fantasy series before this.

PAZ: Yeah, exactly.

JULIAN: And I think also, just like, something I really like about these books is there's a really good sense of cat politics. Like, there's a sense that this is a larger world and there's a lot of forces at play, some of which we see and like, some of which we don't, so that when stuff kind of comes in or out, you know, it feels like there's stuff happening off screen that is affecting the plot that we don't necessarily see, in like a good way.

PAZ: Yeah. Like I mean, like we were mentioning how Mistyfoot felt like the beleaguered best friend character. Like she was in so few scenes, but like the sense of that really came across well. There really is a sense that like, there is other stuff going on with like, the other clans.

LIZ: There's this part, um, when Graystripe and Silverstream are like okay, we're gonna fuck off now. Go have fun with your meeting. And Fireheart doesn't even get to talk much, but Mistyfoot is like, don't worry, I won't eat you.

PAZ: I am excited to see what happens in this book.

JULIAN: Me too. See some more secrets.

LIZ: Will any of these secrets come out? Will more secrets be created? Who knows? This is my tagline for the book.

PAZ: What do you think the next secret will be, Liz?

LIZ: Fireheart is Tigerclaw's dad. He's a time traveler.

JULIAN: Oh shit.

LIZ: But he's got amnesia.

PAZ: Oh shit. It's like time traveling Dumbledore.

LIZ: He got reset to baby age. That's how they don't know.

PAZ: My God.

JULIAN: The power of StarClan. As the prophecies foretold.

PAZ: They said, you didn't kill your kit the first time. Go do it again.

LIZ: Oh shit.

JULIAN: Yeet you right on back.

PAZ: Wow. That rules.

LIZ: Wow.

PAZ: Well, I can't wait to see that happen. I guess unless anyone has anything else to add, that's it for the book discussion segment.

JULIAN: Yeah, I don't have anything else to add.

[meow]

PAZ: All right. So, God. I don't know what episode it was. It was around when we were discussing the Barnes and Noble RP community that we also found that like within Goodreads groups there's a thriving Warriors community. So I was clicking around some of those threads. Lots of good stuff in there. Also a lot of groups that are just like two people, and I hope that went well for them.

JULIAN: I support them.

LIZ: That just feels like the natural habitat, you know?

PAZ: Yeah, it's definitely like someone and their friend just made a Goodreads group together. Good for them.

LIZ: So good.

PAZ: But I found a great thread that is titled "What's in a name? Warrior names, do's and don'ts."

JULIAN: This is-- I just want to let our audience know, this is divided into a prologue, a second prologue, chapter before the chapter, chapter one, chapter two, chapters one through five.

LIZ: I love this.

PAZ: This is serious stuff.

JULIAN: Mod Peyton here is very clear about what needs to be done and what does not need to be done.

PAZ: Do you want to read the intro?

JULIAN: Sure. "Prologue, understanding Warriors. It's rather disheartening to see role players creating outrageous names. Carrotkit, Blueberryfang, Sneezeheart and Scrabblepaw, to name some randomly selected examples."

LIZ: Those are so good.

JULIAN: "No matter how original they seem to be." What does Peyton have against good names?

PAZ: I feel like this is specific beef. I don't know if he's randomly selected.

JULIAN: This is 100% specific beef.

LIZ: Blueberryfang. Someone out there, ugh.

PAZ: I love Sneezeheart.

LIZ: Who's the medicine cat from ShadowClan again?

PAZ: Runningnose?

JULIAN: Oh, Runningnose?

LIZ: Yeah.

PAZ: Right?

LIZ: That's the same.

JULIAN: "There's a very specific reason why Warrior Cats are given the names they have, and it's much more obvious than people make it out to be. For one, we'll start early on in warrior lore. To be a warrior, a cat must be generous and must understand self sacrifice because the foundation of the warrior code is, essentially, the clan comes first. If that fact is disregarded, it could be said that the cat is no longer a warrior or doesn't understand the ways of warriorhood." And that's why you never have any evil Warrior Cats.

PAZ: None.

JULIAN: "This is the purpose of apprenticeship, to teach the warrior in training not only to hunt and fight, but to serve the clan as a true warrior." Well, fuck Brackenpaw then. "It isn't a good name that makes a warrior, but the character of the cat. However, with a good name, every other cat will know just how well they behave or how highly revered they are in the clan. This is why Deathfang or Boneclaw is unacceptable."

LIZ: Boneclaw.

PAZ: Why?

JULIAN: "This disregards not only the warrior code but reality, or rather, Warrior Cat reality."

PAZ: Reality?!

LIZ: Boneclaw.

JULIAN: "We'll discuss this soon enough in the following chapters."

PAZ: You can't say Deathfang and Boneclaw are unacceptable when there's fucking Brokenstar and Tigerclaw.

JULIAN: Brokenstar and Crookedstar and Nightstar.

LIZ: Boneclaw's so good. I'm so mad that no one is legally allowed to use it.

PAZ: If you use that, Peyton will fucking track you down, so don't even think about it.

LIZ: Come at me, Peyton. Here's my Goodreads at.

JULIAN: "A warrior is an honorable, respectable cat, and one of the best ways to represent that reputation is a good name. Below are a few examples, before I show you just how it works." Oh. "Sandstorm. Sandkit undoubtedly describes a very pale kitten, an obvious name to give a pale ginger cat at birth."

PAZ: She's not ginger! I refuse.

JULIAN: "As Sandpaw grew up, she developed a very harsh and spiteful personality." She did not!

PAZ: I don't think so.

JULIAN: "Which we can see is illustrated in her warrior name, Sandstorm. Sand being rough illustrates your personality in being both unfriendly and rude."

PAZ: What?

JULIAN: "So therefore Sandstorm is a pale ginger tabby, with a habit of being very snappy and blunt." Peyton, I have some beef!

PAZ: I think there's a little misogyny happening here.

JULIAN: Have you heard of tsundere?

PAZ: That too. Oh my god. She is not.

JULIAN: She's not rude.

PAZ: I mean, being blunt is not the same as being rude.

JULIAN: She's also very nice to a lot of cats.

PAZ: Yeah, I mean, she's unfriendly and rude like in the first book. That's about it, and they were all like teens, so. Ugh.

JULIAN: God. "Fireheart. Firepaw, as Bluestar stated, was named for his fiery coat that held the light of a blazing fire when the sun was upon it. His suffix, Bluestar also explained somewhat and not in depth, represents his caring personality. He cared for every cat, every clan, and made it obvious, even if it broke the rules of being a warrior. He wasn't afraid to support and take care of others, which meant he had heart-- a very brave and considerate heart. Fireheart, therefore, represents a dark ginger tom with a passionate personality."

PAZ: Thank you, Peyton.

JULIAN: "But there are other options in naming a warrior. For example, Goldenflower. This name describes two things: a cat, and a flower. The flower we know is yellow and the cat we know is golden and very motherly. The double meaning is a step ahead of the former names."

PAZ: Wow.

JULIAN: "Mentioning the cat and an object that represents them for what they look like and how they behave."

PAZ: The layers. The layers to warrior names.

LIZ: Yep.

JULIAN: "This isn't a very common way to name warriors because it is a very delicate process."

LIZ: Oh my god.

JULIAN: "But it can sometimes be the most highly revered and best way to consider. This is very similar to the names above, but don't get them confused. The former names describe the cat's appearance and personality separately and do not denote a second image found in nature. Sandstorm could be considered iffy, but it denotes her personality as sandstorms don't occur in heavily forested or grassy areas like where the cats live."

PAZ: Oh my god. It just goes on and on about like this.

JULIAN: Yep. Oh, they do mention Brokentail/Brokenstar, with their own explanations.

PAZ: Oh my god, hold on. I gotta read the legendary cats section. The second paragraph takes you out. "Everyone's heard of the legendary cat clans, LeopardClan, TigerClan, and LionClan, and cats do get prefixes from these particular cats. No, these clans did not and do not exist where the current four clans live, and are merely myths that the cats can tell. They're inspirational stories, sort of like nursery rhymes for kids today. We can safely assume that because leopards, tigers, and lions are real cats, and that because domestic cats such as ferals have lineage in them." I don't think they do. I don't think that's how the evolution happened.

JULIAN: That's not how genes work.

PAZ: That's not how it works.

LIZ: What? No.

PAZ: "That the Clans would understand what they were. It's completely acceptable to name your cat after one of the clans because they're not sacred or spiritual. Think of them as naming your little boy John, Abraham, or Matthew, if you catch my drift. They're good names for a strong representation of ancestry and appearance and work really well for traditional canon cats."

JULIAN: Tigerclaw has become Catholic this time.

PAZ: He sure fucking has.

LIZ: Can we please look at the don'ts in chapter four?

PAZ: Okay, let me scroll all the way down. Oh wait.

JULIAN: Hold up.

LIZ: Wait, wait, wait.

JULIAN: We got a cat genetics chapter.

PAZ: Wait, before that, before that. "Naming generators. Do not trust these with anything, whether it's a generator on the official Warriors site or the one on Warriors Wish."

LIZ: Ooh.

JULIAN: "Do not use these. The combinations are very poor, and needless to say, they do not follow rules of traditionalism. Names from generators are also less personal and meaningful, and it is not suggested that anyone use them." That is all in bold and underlined.

LIZ: Wow. And italics.

PAZ: Yes. Okay, continue. I think genetics is next.

JULIAN: Genetics is next. Peyton has some issues with the canon cat genetics. "Black cats cannot have blue eyes unless there's some amount of white on them. The genetics for creating the light eye gene is not found in solid black cats, and therefore is not plausible. This means that, realistically speaking, Crowfeather is not a plausible character, given his appearance."

PAZ: Crowfeather's been canceled.

LIZ: Wow.

JULIAN: "Tabbies can have blue eyes. It is not common, but genetics allow for it if the cat is of a certain breed. Hawkfrost is plausible. Violet-eyed cats are extremely rare, even more rare than tortie toms. This does not make playing a violet-eyed cat in the wild a common feat or something that should really be considered, but it is possible."

LIZ: Is it possible?

JULIAN: Finally, in bold.

PAZ: Oh my god.

JULIAN: "Tortie toms are rare and cannot live in the wild. They have very weak immune systems, are sterile, and without human/Twoleg care and medications cannot survive."

PAZ: Holy shit.

JULIAN: Okay.

LIZ: Wow, rude.

JULIAN: Cat magic? Fine. Violet-eyed cat? Fuck you.

LIZ: Tortoiseshell toms? Get the fuck out of here.

PAZ: Banned from the forum. Banned.

LIZ: Are purple eyes real? Even if it's just a shade of blue? I don't think so.

PAZ: I don't think so. I've certainly--

LIZ: I'm only seeing photoshopped cats.

PAZ: They got that Alexandria's Genesis or whatever.

LIZ: Purple eyes, white hair, does not poop.

JULIAN: Yeah, animalpath.org says, "you may have heard rumors about cats with purple eyes, but there is no known evidence of cats with purple eyes, although lighting conditions can make a blue-eyed cat's eyes appear purplish or blue violet."

LIZ: Peyton!

JULIAN: "Rare albino cats can have lilac-colored eyes, with the lilac being a soft pale shade of purple."

LIZ: What? Okay, Peyton, all right. I've got to see this. I'm only getting photoshops.

JULIAN: Yeah, I've looked this up.

LIZ: The second result I'm getting is from Warrior Cats. Warrior Cat Pelt and Eye Colors wiki.

JULIAN: This is the Photoshop.

PAZ: Oh my god. Sorry. I'm down to chapter three, the do's. "There are small things to keep in mind as far as grammar is concerned. Names are compound words. So that means names like One-eye will be hyphenated to separate the repeated letters so that it reads One dash eye. The Erins don't always do this, but that doesn't mean it's okay not to." Jesus.

LIZ: God. That's a lot of like, conjunctions.

PAZ: Does somebody want to read the don'ts?

LIZ: Yes.

PAZ: Yes.

LIZ: It's really long. Oh, it's so long.

JULIAN: We can split it up. We don't have to read the whole thing. Or we can have people tag in and out.

LIZ: Okay, I can start. "Chapter four, the don't. What don't you do in a name? There are tons of things you don't do in a name. We'll start small and work our way up. Well, not necessarily. There's no starting small in the don't section. These are basic but unwritten rules. Some of them the Erins have said. Some of them have been observed, but all apply. One, the moon, sun, and stars are sacred to the cats. These objects or variations of the objects are not to be used in names. The moon, sun, and stars are sacred. It's why star is only allowed at the end of the leaders' names. This is a rule I'll repeat over and over if I have to get it across. Examples of unacceptable names: Moonfur, Sunclaw, Starkit. This also applies to names that expand on the above: Lunarfur, Solarclaw, Eclipseheart, Crescentpaw."

JULIAN: Damn. Sorry to rain on Peyton's parade, but there is in fact a canonical Moonflower, so.

PAZ: I'm starting to doubt Peyton's authority on the subject.

LIZ: Peyton, debate me.

JULIAN: Meet me in Fourtrees. Debate me in the marketplace of ideas.

LIZ: "Eclipse especially is a no go. An eclipse not only happens rarely but when it does happen, the result that it has on the warriors are catastrophic. So no sensible queen would name her kit after an event that leaves all shaking in fear." I think it'd be really metal. You should do that, actually.

PAZ: Yeah, like what if you're goth, and you're like, I want my evil baby.

LIZ: Boneeclipse!

JULIAN: What do you think Peyton's stance on cats with wings is?

PAZ: Kill on sight. No mercy. Mosey down.

LIZ: Who wants to-- we can go through this by numbers, I guess.

PAZ: Sure. "Two. Due to the fact that dreams are held in high regard and are sacred in the ways of warriors, no variation on the word dream is to be used. This applies to the word itself and synonyms or similar words: wish, hope, muse, desire, etc. Examples of unacceptable names: Morningdream, Dreamkit, Wishinggaze, Musemind."

JULIAN: Sorry, we got a Wishkit. Oh shit. Wishkit was one of Yellowfang's kits who died.

LIZ: No.

PAZ: Oh no. I guess they died because it was an unacceptable name.

LIZ: StarClan saw the fucking birth certificate and was like fuck, no. No way. This baby? No.

PAZ: Struck down with thunder. Do you want to read the next one, Julian?

JULIAN: Yeah. "Spiritual connotations, both in the human world and cat world, are not to be used. Words such as spirit, soul, and angel denote higher levels of being, an honor not worthy of warriors."

PAZ: What?

LIZ: What?!

JULIAN: "This is only allowed for leaders through the use of star, as a suffix, to represent their connection with StarClan. Vicky has stated that spirit, soul, and other similar words would not make it primarily because of their human connotations with certain religions, which means spirit and soul are Twoleg words that warrior cats would not know about, despite contrary belief. Examples of unacceptable names."

PAZ: Holy shit, the third one in this list.

JULIAN: "Spiritsong, Angelwing, Demonsythe, and Soulflight."

LIZ: These are metal. You should use them.

PAZ: I love Demonsythe so much.

JULIAN: Please name your cat Demonsythe. Also the fact that Demonsythe-- scythe is not spelled with a C here.

PAZ: It is not.

JULIAN: This is definitely an OC. Like this is someone's cat. Someone made a Demonsythe, and Peyton said, fuck off.

LIZ: Demonsythe, if you're out there, come on our podcast. This whole-- are they saying that cats can't reach higher levels of being like humans?

PAZ: I think like they're saying is that only when you're dead. Cause warriors are the live cats, I guess.

LIZ: Okay, I thought this was gonna be like the weird thing where it's like, humans get heaven, and then like animals get like a lower heaven or something.

PAZ: Oh no.

LIZ: Do Christians do that? I wouldn't know.

PAZ: I don't know, maybe it is. Do you wanna read the next one, Liz?

LIZ: Oh, okay. I need to recover myself after Demonsythe. "Four, words that tend to be seen as disrespectful in their literal sense are not to be used. Cats are literal in their naming and do not use hidden messages. This means--"

JULIAN: You just said that Goldenflower was a metaphor.

LIZ: "This means that names that include words such as hollow, any variation of the word fall, burning, searing, singed, shattered, twisted, broken."

PAZ: Broken?!

LIZ: Hey. Listen.

PAZ: Hello?

LIZ: Hey, wait. Debate me! I've got some good-- I've got the wiki open, Peyton.

PAZ: You need to revisit the text, Peyton. You need to read-- you need to pick up one of these books and read it.

LIZ: Okay, "or any word related to the aforementioned is not acceptable, especially in a name that is given at birth."

PAZ: Guess what?

LIZ: "Certain words such as torn, broken, or otherwise are acceptable as renames but most are not. Examples of unacceptable names in either situation: Brokenheart, Twistedface--"

PAZ: That's just what Crooked--

LIZ: "Hollowsoul, Searingkit," and then just Fallenbird.

PAZ: Oh my god. This is killing me.

LIZ: Okay. "Examples of acceptable names for a rename. Cats that get renamed must have been in a life threatening situations." I've read that wrong. "Cats that get renames must have been in life-threatening situations, otherwise the names become meaningless. Every cat tears a claw every now and then, so Tornclaw isn't an acceptable name change." Let him do it. Let Tornclaw do it. Fuck you. "Most cats that get renames are then sent to be an elder because any situation that would then require a name change hinders the cat from--" I think they get to be elders when they're old.

PAZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: Yeah, I think fucking-- the WindClan, Deadfoot, would have some words for you, Peyton. Deadfoot would like to debate you in the marketplace of ideas.

LIZ: And then just like, One-eye, Brokenleg, Tornfur. Oh my god. And then there-- Peyton addresses the Erins. Okay, "this also means that yes, Erins, Birchfall is not really a respectable name."

PAZ: Oh my god.

LIZ: The name denotes a fallen birch, which for one does not represent the cat for anything, appearance, personality, event even that would have had something to do with the cat. It's a completely random and purposeless name of a very bad sign/event in a forest."

PAZ: Oh my god.

LIZ: "You must consider the meaning of your name when applying such harsh disrespectful words. They are absolutely not tolerated."

JULIAN: What if I want my cat to have an angsty backstory? I'm also like, has Peyton been in the woods? Trees fall all the time.

LIZ: If a tree falls in the woods and no one's around to hear it, will Peyton still debate them?

PAZ: Oh my god.

JULIAN: "Number five. Jewels and semi precious stones are not acceptable in names. Silver and gold are used because the terms for certain colorations and markings-- technical terms-- are actually silver and gold. However, there are no markings classified as jade, ruby, onyx, or otherwise. Secondly, the possibility of cats unearthing such rare jewels that aren't even found in the British Isles is an impossibility. Most stones must be mined for and are found under certain conditions unavailable to the cats." Isn't there a mine like on the map?

PAZ: There is. They go there for their spirit ceremony.

JULIAN: That's where the Moonpool is.

LIZ: I don't have an issue with Peyton's length. These are-- this is a lot of books. There's a lot of lore. I disagree fundamentally with what Peyton is laying down.

PAZ: Oh my god. Wow. "Number six."

LIZ: Excuse you. Wow.

PAZ: "Remember that cats are not sophisticated. If the kit is red at birth, they are not crimson, scarlet, or blood. They are red or ginger. Cats don't have dictionaries and thesauri." How old do you think Peyton is?

JULIAN: Oh God, either 25 or 14.

PAZ: Yeah, there's no in between.

JULIAN: No in between.

LIZ: Peyton, if you're 25, all of this is justified. Like all of what we're saying is justified. If you're 14, please forgive us. Keep doing you.

JULIAN: But maybe think about how other people might like to roleplay and how it might be different from how you like to do it.

LIZ: Peyton, if you're 14, we're just three clowns.

JULIAN: We're three clowns. And I was this clown. When I was a role player, like I did not set out a whole lore bible for how to name cats. But I was very like, very high minded about what I thought a proper name was.

PAZ: There's more. There's more though.

JULIAN: There is more. Who wants to do seven?

LIZ: Should I do seven?

PAZ: Sure.

JULIAN: Sure.

LIZ: Is it my turn? Did we-- sorry, just want to check. Did we read the unacceptable unsophisticated or sophisticated names?

PAZ: Oh no, I didn't.

LIZ: Just Burgundypelt. I like that a lot.

JULIAN: It's very good. I also am a big fan of Cobaltpaw.

LIZ: Yeah. Okay, "number seven. All Twoleg seasons are unknown to cats. Therefore, an Autumnspirit is not acceptable, nor is a Winterpelt. Seasons are referred to differently. This also works for things such as ocean, seas, comets, and other things not commonly referred to in the books. Examples of unacceptable names: Summerheart, Oceanbreeze, Comettail." Aw, that's a good name.

JULIAN: I think Comettail slaps.

PAZ: Yeah, I can picture it. That's a cat with a really bright red tail.

LIZ: Yeah, it can be like-- that feels like a prophecy cat.

JULIAN: "Number eight, animals found outside of the British Isles are not to be referred to. It's hard to keep track of all the animals that don't live in Britain."

PAZ: Is it?

LIZ: I mean, okay, comparatively, animals that live in Britain versus animals that don't.

PAZ: That's true.

LIZ: One of those numbers is bigger than the other. Yes.

PAZ: That's true.

JULIAN: Yeah, no.

LIZ: I do agree.

JULIAN: It is hard to keep track of all the animals that don't live in Britain. "But if you don't know for sure whether or not they can be found on the island, Wikipedia it. That is the simplest answer, and you won't look like a fool. Here are some common animals that usually get placed in names that are not native or found on Britain: coyote, cardinal, and bear. This also goes for plant species such as the orchid, olive, and ebony tree. Please do your research on a species before placing it in a name."

PAZ: Last, we've finally reached the end of this chapter. "Nine, everyone knows that Twoleg objects are not acceptable names. That's obvious. However, that sometimes doesn't seem to apply or rather, it gets overlooked. Many words don't even seem to have human origins of connotations, but they do and are not acceptable. Many common words used in names, such as mask and dance, are human words to describe things in nature and are not natural occurrences. People will reference the mask of a raccoon or the dance of courting birds, but these words are not recognized by cats. This also goes for obvious materials, such as ink, sword, dagger, and various metals."

JULIAN: Does-- all words are human words.

PAZ: None of these cats know any words. Why does it--

LIZ: They know one word, and it's meow. Can I propose an exercise?

PAZ: Yes.

JULIAN: Yeah.

LIZ: Can we make a completely unacceptable name?

PAZ: Yes, please.

JULIAN: Yes.

LIZ: What's your completely unacceptable name? Let's take a minute.

PAZ: Okay. Well, let's look back up at the don'ts.

JULIAN: Oh, here's some questions at the bottom.

PAZ: Okay, we'll go anti to all these questions.

JULIAN: Yeah, well, it's just do I have an acceptable prefix, which I think we need to-- we got to go through our rules and find.

PAZ: Let's make the name first and then come back to these questions. Okay, so no celestial objects. No dreaming.

JULIAN: What about an asteroid? Because that's both a celestial object and like a rare or semi precious stone.

PAZ: That's pretty good. Is there a prettier name, like asteroid term?

JULIAN: Meteor?

LIZ: Space debris.

PAZ: You know what, what if we take the name of a planet or moon. That'll also cover the no spiritual--

JULIAN: Perfect.

PAZ: --references. Let's look at some of these Jupiter moons.

JULIAN: I'm a fan of Titan.

PAZ: Oh, that could be a real big cat.

JULIAN: Big boy.

LIZ: Titan... fall.

[laughter]

PAZ: We can't do that. We'll get sued.

LIZ: Just bleep it out.

JULIAN: Titansoul.

LIZ: Is that a thing? That also feels like a thing.

PAZ: It feels like it should be a thing.

LIZ: Yes, it is a thing.

JULIAN: Fuck.

LIZ: Fuck.

PAZ: This is hard.

LIZ: It's a video game.

PAZ: Naming warriors is hard.

JULIAN: Titan...summer.

LIZ: Hot titan summer. Titan... bone.

JULIAN: Megatitanboneclan.

LIZ: Titan... dream.

PAZ: What if we do like Hades or something for the goth factor?

JULIAN: Ooh yeah.

LIZ: Hades... fur.

JULIAN: Hadesdream.

PAZ: Hadesdream?

LIZ: That's his wife before she divorced him.

JULIAN: I feel like the second part of the name is harder to like--

PAZ: Yeah, it's harder to go against.

LIZ: What if we do some word mashing? What if it's Hadesclipse.

PAZ: Oh shit.

JULIAN: [to the tune of Loona's "Eclipse"] Hadesclipes. Da na na na.

PAZ: Hadesclipse.

JULIAN: I like Hadesclipse. It breaks many rules.

PAZ: I'm really a fan of it.

JULIAN: How does it represent our cat?

PAZ: Um, they're evil.

JULIAN: Okay.

PAZ: They're evil and they live in darkness, hence the eclipse.

JULIAN: Gotcha.

LIZ: They're evil--

JULIAN: I think they have big teeth.

LIZ: But it also sounds like they started like a local competitor to Great Clips.

JULIAN: Well, that's what they have the big teeth for is to give the other cats hair cuts so they can-- they have to give all the other cats emo bangs!

PAZ: Yes.

LIZ: Oh, I love that. Hadesclipse, born during an eclipse. Very dark and evil, but gives you the crispest bangs you'll ever see. The swoop? Unimaginable.

PAZ: Did we go through the questions? Should we do that?

LIZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: Oh, yeah.

PAZ: "Do I have an acceptable prefix?"

JULIAN: Nope.

LIZ: Absolutely.

PAZ: "Does it make sense to be the name given at birth?"

JULIAN: Yes.

LIZ: Yes. Because Hadesclipse's mom was a goth named Boneocean.

PAZ: Oh shit. "How does it represent my cat?"

JULIAN: Well, he's evil.

PAZ: Yeah. "Can I match it with a suffix?" Yeah. Blends perfectly.

LIZ: Rolls right off the tongue.

PAZ: "How should my suffix represent him or her?"

JULIAN: Well, his work as an amateur barber.

PAZ: "Is it best to encourage their appearance or personality?"

LIZ: Ooh, ooh, ooh. Okay, so Hadesclipse can be one of those like torties with like the half like black face and half brown.

PAZ: Oh, fuck yeah.

JULIAN: Oh, yeah.

PAZ: Wait, wait, wait. Is he a tortie tom?

JULIAN: He's a tortie tom. He's a tortie tom and he has purple eyes!

PAZ: Fuck yes. "Have I successfully described my cat?"

LIZ: 100%.

JULIAN: Yes.

PAZ: Yes. Beautiful. Perfect. New leader of Megaboneclan.

LIZ: Everyone's gonna look so good.

JULIAN: They're gonna be so stylish.

PAZ: He invents hair dye with red berries so he can give them those frosted tips.

JULIAN: He can probably dye cats black, too.

PAZ: Oh, yeah.

JULIAN: With walnuts. For that real goth look.

LIZ: His first customer is Walnutfur. This was really easy.

JULIAN: Yeah, this is really good.

PAZ: I'm so glad that Peyton made a guide for us on how to make the best names ever by telling us what we shouldn't do so we can do it. Thank you, Peyton.

LIZ: I was very antagonistic before, but like nothing but with respect for the thoroughness of this. I couldn't fuckin do this.

JULIAN: Yeah, this is a work of like--

PAZ: It's long.

JULIAN: A lot of effort went into this.

PAZ: Yeah. You know, people are very passionate about warrior names. As we know from Susanclaws of days past. Well, I think that might do it for us today.

JULIAN: Oh yeah.

PAZ: We've learned a lot. And Hadesclipse rules. So next week we will be reading probably chapter seven through 10. I'm gonna see how long it is. It might end up being chapter seven through nine. It'll be a surprise. Other than that, you can find the show @staircast on twitter.com. You can email us with questions or anecdotes, stairwaytostarclan@gmail.com. And do we want to announce the thing?

JULIAN: We joke a lot on the podcast about doing a Patreon. But we're actually going to do a Patreon.

PAZ: Surprise.

LIZ: Hey!

JULIAN: There's like a ton of stuff that we want to get into and it would be-- a Patreon lets us sort of like have that separate stream.

PAZ: Yeah. Like maybe we do want to read about Pinestar being told to kill his child. And the Patreon would be--

JULIAN: We so badly want to read about that.

PAZ: The Patreon would be a great place for that. I mean, there's also a lot of other Warriors fan content. Like there's a Roblox game I would love to play. Um, stuff like that.

JULIAN: There's an official tabletop game.

PAZ: Yes.

LIZ: And we have to play that.

PAZ: Yes indeed. You love Hadesclipse? Wait till we play that game. Yeah, so I think the Patreon will be a place for reading the special books, maybe the manga. There's also novellas out there, maybe doing more specific deep dives on certain things. So if any of that sounds interesting to you guys, you can go to patreon.com/staircast, where we'll be doing bi-monthly bonus content episodes. Does anyone else wanna add something?

LIZ: I think that's it.

JULIAN: Yeah. I'm very excited to get to dig more into some stuff.

PAZ: Yeah. And any support would be great. We love you. And thank you to everyone who has been listening to this podcast. It's been really fun to do and I'm glad other people are enjoying it. Yeah, that's the update for now. We will catch--

JULIAN: Oh, there's some very ominous thunder in the background, sorry.

PAZ: It's Hadesclipse.

JULIAN: Hadesclipse is here to fuck us up.

PAZ: Yeah, he has thunder powers too. We didn't mention that, but just, you know. Anyway, that'll be it for us this week. We will be back next week with more Forest of Secrets. Everyone have a great week. And until next time, may StarClan light your path. Bye.

LIZ: Bye.

JULIAN: Bye.

[outro music]

JULIAN: Oh, it's International Asteroid Day.

PAZ: It is.

LIZ: Oh my god.

JULIAN: For Hadesclipse.

LIZ: Hades...clipse.

[owlways-and-forever]

A/N: Well what'd'ya know, it's been a few months, but I've finally managed to crank out another chapter. I haven't been much in a writing place of mind lately, just hasn't been the frame of mind that I've been in, but I'm trying to get back in the swing of it, so hopefully I'll be able to finish this story up soon. But for now, I hope you all enjoy this [rather dramatic] chapter!

*IMPORTANT: You may have noticed that the title of the story has been changed, and that’s because I’ve decided to break this story into pieces, since it’s already pretty long, and I want to avoid having one long, 100+ chapter, 1,000,000 word leviathan that takes 10 years to finish. I will absolutely be continuing the story, I’ve just decided to split it into four different “books”. And even though they’ll all be continuous parts of the larger Better Together ‘verse, they should be pretty much readable as standalone pieces too. So hooray to that! As for this particular “book”, there will 4 more chapters before I conclude and begin the next one. That’s all I’ve got to say right now! Go check out @thosemarauderboys where you can find some awesome edits that @ginnyweasiee has been making for this story!

PLEASE GO CHECK OUT THE BLOG FOR THIS UNIVERSE @thosemarauderboys​​. You can find fancasts of the characters (including OCs) to see what I imagine them looking like, plus fun facts about them, and I’m trying to update with like, images and stuff as well.

Read the previous chapters at the links below, on ff.net, or ao3.

Ch 1, Ch 2, Ch 3, Ch 4, Ch 5, Ch 6, Ch 7, Ch 8, Ch 9, Ch 10, Ch 11,Ch 12, Ch 13, Ch 14, Ch 15, Ch 16, Ch 17, Ch 18, Ch 19, Ch 20, Ch 21, Ch 22, Ch 23, Ch 24

Chapter 25: Bedknobs and Broomsticks

"James?" Sirius whispered, turning over in his bed to face his friend.

"Mmmm?" James groaned in response, grabbing the pillow from under his head and folding it over his ears.

"James, I can't sleep," Sirius said more loudly, propping himself up on his elbow.

"Well could you can it for those of us who can sleep," Remus interjected, and James groaned in assent.

"Come on, let's do something," Sirius said, getting up and sitting on the edge of James' bed, bouncing slightly.

"Go to sleep," James hissed, turning over and pulling the pillow over his head.

"Come on," Sirius crooned, shaking James' shoulder, "tell me you don't want to get on your broom right now and feel the wind in your hair. I know you hate watching the Quidditch players and not being on the pitch."

It was the exact words Sirius needed to say to get James' attention, and he sat upright in bed, blinking the sleep from his eyes.

"Let's go," he said, pulling socks onto his feet and grabbing his broom from where it stood propped up against the wall.

Sirius grinned, his eyes glinting in the moonlight as he followed James' lead.

"You're going to get caught, and then McGonagall'll throw you out," Remus mumbled, his eyes only halfway open.

"She won't throw us out just for being up after hours," Sirius argued, continuing to pull on clothes. "But if you're so worried, don't come."

Remus rolled over and covered his head with the pillow, and Sirius frowned, a little disappointed. He quickly shrugged and plastered a grin on his face. Who needed Remus anyway? The two boys rushed out of the dormitory, padding through the halls as quickly and quietly as they could. When they reached the great oak doors of the Entrance Hall, James and Sirius were dismayed to find that they were firmly locked, and impervious to James' attempts to charm them open.

"Now what?" James whined, frowning. He had fully woken up by this point and was ready for a bit of fun, knowing that sleep was out of the question. Sirius considered their options for a few moments, his eyebrows pulled together in concentration. After a minute, his eyes began to glitter and a smile slid across his lips.

"Ever wondered," he preened, puffing out his chest with pride, "how high the ceiling of the Great Hall goes?"

James' face lit up with excitement and he practically began to vibrate as he considered his best friend's words.

"Let's do it," he agreed, and the two boys ran off toward the doors of the Great Hall.

The two heavy doors were closed, but not locked, and with a fair bit of effort, James and Sirius were able to push them open enough to squeeze in. With matching grins on their faces, they exchanged looks of glee and then mounted their brooms, pushing off the ground confidently. In James' opinion, nothing compared to the feeling of the air whipping through his hair, making it messier even than it was on its own. He started doing laps of the Great Hall, flipping over and doing barrel rolls and loop-the-loops, anything the adrenaline pumping through his veins told him. Sirius' cheeks were starting to turn pink as the chill of the night air and the speed that they were flying teased his skin as he followed James. He was more reserved in his flying, not nearly as confident as his best friend. Growing up in the center of London, he hadn't had as many opportunities to fly, especially considering his parents weren't tremendously fond of quidditch. They weren't staunchly opposed to the wizarding sport, but in their minds it didn't exactly constitute gentlemanly behavior, and so it was not something for their sons to participate in.

"Come on, James, let's see how high this thing goes," Sirius taunted, trying to get his best friend to stop performing tricks that he wasn't comfortable duplicating.

Grinning, James immediately grasped the front of his broomstick and yanked it upward, flattening himself to the handle as he did so, so he shot upward with a zoom. Sirius followed suit, trying to get as close to the broomstick as he could. Tricks might be a little bit beyond his comfort zone, but speed most definitely was not. They seemed to keep going up for several minutes without getting any closer to the velvety blackness above them, and Sirius was beginning to wonder whether there even was a ceiling or if the Great Hall in fact just opened onto the sky above. He slowed down and looked beneath him, and his heart skipped a beat when he saw how high up they had flown. A fall from this height would absolutely be fatal. When he looked up again, James was at least fifty feet above him, whooping with glee. Sirius was debating whether or not to call out to his friend and call off their quest - he didn't want to get hurt, but he also had a voice in his head that was challenging him to keep going - when there was a flash of light and a bang that shook the castle like thunder had struck right there in the Great Hall as the spell that had been enchanting the ceiling broke. The force of it sent Sirius tumbling backwards on his broom, and he tried desperately to regain control. As he managed to right himself, his eyes fixed on James, and his heart stopped.

James had been thrown from his broom when the spell broke, and was falling helplessly to the ground, and to his death if Sirius didn't do something. He pressed himself flat against his broom and zoomed toward James, who was rapidly approaching the floor. Even though he was sure he was flying faster than he ever had before, Sirius didn't seem to be catching up to James fast enough, and he tried to think, pulling his wand from the pocket of his dressing gown.

"Wingardium... wingardium leviosa! Wingardium leviosa! WINGARDIUM LEVIOSA!" he yelled, but his hands were shaking and he couldn't aim properly, instead missing James each time.

Cursing, Sirius shoved his wand back in his pocket and focused on flying faster, he was getting close, and he let silent prayers flow through his mind that he would reach his best friend in time. He was ten metres away from James, but James was only six from the floor, and Sirius tried to push forward faster. Seven metres away... five metres... three... he stretched out his arms and reached for James, his heart racing. He had barely wrapped his arms around James' body and heaved it upward away from its rapid descent when he realized that his trajectory was not much better as he sped toward the dais where the staff table stood. He tried desperately to redirect his broom, but it was taking all of his strength to hold onto James. Instead, Sirius folded himself in, curling around James as much as he could, trying to protect his friend as he braced himself for the crash.

It was worse than he expected. They hit the dais and he felt his bones shattering against the sandstone blocks, pain radiating through his body. He kept himself focused on James and struggled to fight the pain in his body in order to push himself up and off his friend, trying to assess the damage. He was unconscious, but Sirius wasn't sure if that was from the crash or if he had been knocked out by the force of the spell breaking. There were scrapes and cuts over James' face, and his pajamas were torn in several places. He was breathing though, and Sirius could feel his heart beating strong, so he knew he was alive. Fear gripped him still, knowing that James wasn't definitely going to be okay as long as his eyes remained closed. The pain was getting to be too much for Sirius, and he felt unconsciousness tugging at him as well, but he tried to fight it. He heard the doors of the Great Hall burst open and saw fuzzy figures running toward them, and he thought one of them might have been Dumbledore based on the long beard. Knowing that there was someone to help them, Sirius gave in to the pain and let his eyes close.

Sirius woke up in the hospital wing, unsurprisingly. He turned his head, wincing at the way it ached, and saw James lying in the bed next to him. He also saw Mrs. Potter asleep in a chair next to James' head, and he wondered how long they had been unconscious in the hospital wing that their parents had not only been informed of their condition, but that Mrs. Potter had felt it necessary to travel all the way to Hogwarts. Guilt coursed through him, causing his insides to twist unpleasantly, and for a moment he thought he might be sick. Sirius wondered if his own parents had come to see him, the thought making him feel even more sick, but he reminded himself that his mother would probably be happy if he stupidly got himself killed at school, not distressed, like James'.

He tried to sit up, letting out a groan as he realized how much his body still hurt, despite Madam Pomfrey's ministrations, and the sound made Mrs. Potter stir. Her eyes blinked open and she instinctively looked at her son, her face falling a bit when she realized that he was still unconscious. She smoothed down a lock of his hair and looked over at Sirius, giving him a weak smile.

"You must be James' friend," she said kindly, looking him over.

"Yeah, I'm Sirius," he answered, but he found he couldn't meet her eyes, knowing that it was his fault her son was lying in the hospital wing.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Sirius," she replied politely, and she stood up, looking down at her son and smoothing his hair once more. "I'll just go fetch Madam Pomfrey so she can give you a look over."

"Thanks," Sirius mumbled as Mrs. Potter walked away.

A few moments later, she returned, accompanied by Madam Pomfrey, who was wearing a stern expression on her face. The matron began busying herself around Sirius, checking his pulse and prodding his body, much to his chagrin.

"You had a lot of broken bones," she informed him as he winced, "but I've mended those. You'll be a bit sore, but no worse for the wear in the long run."

"Thank you," Sirius mumbled again, but he turned to look at his friend. "Will James...?"

"I hope he'll make a full recovery," Madam Pomfrey answered, her voice low and disapproving, "but I won't know more until he wakes up."

Sirius nodded, trying to swallow around the lump in his throat. The door to the hospital wing opened and Professor McGonagall walked through, approaching Sirius with a stern expression on her face.

"Mr. Black," she said, "I'm glad to see you conscious again. We can now begin discussions on how misguided your actions were and what the consequences might be."

"Yes, Professor," he answered, staring at his hands folded in his lap.

"Are you aware that you damaged a very complex and dangerous spell that has taken considerable effort to repair and in doing so risked the lives of both yourself and your friend?" she asked.

"Yes, Professor," Sirius said again, sullenly. He felt a deep sense of shame at Professor McGonagall's words.

"What on earth inspired you to do something so completely idiotic?" she hissed, her voice dangerously high pitched, and Sirius was fairly certain she would be shrieking if it weren't for James and Mrs. Potter.

"I couldn't sleep," he whispered, barely audible, "and we wanted to fly."

"You couldn't sleep so you decided to risk your lives instead," Professor McGonagall clarified, pursing her lips until they were a barely visible line.

Sirius couldn't even bear to answer her, guilt was twisting in his gut and he felt tears stinging his eyes as he fought to keep them from spilling forth. His lip began to tremble and he twisted his hands together in his lap.

Professor McGonagall watched him carefully and saw how deeply upset he was. She couldn't exactly not punish him, but she didn't have the heart to be as harsh as she initially planned. It was clear that he was affected by his actions and the danger his best friend was in. She sighed heavily and sat down at the foot of Sirius' bed, patting him lightly on his shin.

"Because of your actions, first years have been banned from possessing broomsticks on school grounds," she said softly. "I have taken the liberty of sending your broomstick back to your parents, along with an explanation of what happened. Mr. Potter's broomstick was... well, there was not much to send home, it was rather damaged."

"He's going to be so mad," Sirius groaned, still not looking up at Professor McGonagall.

"Furthermore," she continued, "each of you will receive five detentions, to be served with myself over the course of the next month, and Gryffindor house will lose 50 points for each of you."

"Is that... is that all?" Sirius asked hesitantly, looking up at her from under his lashes.

"Idiotic though your actions may have been," Professor McGonagall answered carefully, "they were not malicious. And I believe Mr. Potter's current condition is quite a punishment for both of you."

Sirius nodded severely, taking Professor McGonagall's words to heart. He understood that they were not being punished more because the knowledge that his idea could easily have killed his best friend would be enough to torment him forever.

"Mrs. Potter," Professor McGonagall said suddenly, standing and turning to the next bed, "may I have a word outside?"

"Of course, Minerva," the other woman replied, and they both walked out of the hospital wing to speak in the hallway beyond.

Sirius idly wondered what they could be talking about that they needed more privacy, but he quickly found his mind turned to James. He looked over at his friend who was still lying as he had been, looking so peaceful. Sirius wasn't sure how long he had been watching James when he noticed some small stirring. His hands started to twitch, fingers grasping at the sheets covering him, and his head turned from side to side slightly.

"Mummy," he croaked almost inaudibly, wetting his lips.

"James?" Sirius said excitedly, watching his friend's eyes begin to blink open.

"Sirrus?" James slurred, turning his head toward the sound of his voice, though Sirius could tell that his eyes were not focused on him.

"I'm here, mate," Sirius laughed, practically giddy that his friend had woken up. "MADAM POMFREY!"

James winced slightly at the noise, but the matron came running over, and when she saw that James was awake, she beamed.

"Mr. Potter," she sighed, sounding very relieved, "how are you feeling?"

"'ve fel' better," James answered hazily, turning his head to follow the voices.

"Of course you have," she replied soothingly as she began to examine him. After several long minutes, Madam Pomfrey smiled broadly and ceased her ministrations. "You appear to be astonishingly alright, aside from a very nasty concussion. It'll take some time for your brain to heal completely, and you may have some lasting effects, but I feel comfortable in saying that you are out of the woods. I'll go tell your mother, I'm sure she'd like to see you."

Sirius let out a small whoop of joy, his heart leaping. James smiled happily, but it was clear that he didn't fully process the information he was being told. He had apologies to make, but they could wait until James was feeling better. For the moment it was enough that his best friend was awake and would be just fine in time.

[pevensienet-blog]

THE POC BROTHERS CHALLENGE: 

challenge no. 5

Although C.S.Lewis wrote a wonderful series of books, it is an understatement to say that racial diversity is severely lacking throughout. Doubled with the @narniaincolor, the Pevensie Brothers Network wants our members to display an array of people, backgrounds and races to their creations.  

This event is a public event open to absolutely anyone and all types of content (edits, moodboards, headcanons, etc) are welcome! We cannot wait to see what beautiful creations you come up with.

Q: What is this challenge about?

A: This challenge is celebrating diversity in the Narnia Fandom. This is the time to share all your POC fancasts, creations, AUs and lots more! As this is a relatively broad challenge, we have not given you any prompts, but if you do have any difficulty, please message the admins and they will be sure to help.

These can be in any form (gifs, graphics, fanvids, fanfiction, moodboard, etc.)! They also can be done in any order that you want to post them in. The more creations you submit, the more loyalty points you will earn! 

Q: When is the deadline?

A: This challenge ends on the 28/02/18, at 23:59 GMT

Have fun creating! We can’t wait to see what you present to the Court!

Members + all other participants, please ’keep reading’ to see rules and layout. . .

If you could caption your creations along the lines of:

@pevensienet challenge #5:

the poc challenge: [insert prompt here]

(You can either copy and paste this caption or completely make up your own one! Remember to include the original title of the challenge and tag the network please.)

RULES:

post your creations on your own blog

tag the post with #pevensienet

don’t forget to organise and tag it #challenge5 too!

That’s everything! We look forward to seeing all your lovely creations soon!

(If you have any problems or questions don’t hesitate to send the network a message or our admins: @highqueenlucy or @aravvis.)

@lucypcvensie, @rhindons, @caspianx, @edmundblake, @narnianroyalties, @alwaysinnarnia, @phyllispevensie, @healingcordial, @edvensie , @luxaofherperides, @pensivethejust, @lvcypev, @passeurdaurore, @sims3, @rvgersteve & @jumpingthroughfandoms

[volturisecretary]

What are your favourite and worst parts about New Moon? Do you have any headcanons or fancasts for members of the Volturi?

This got long, so partially under the cut. 

Favorite Part of New Moon:

I’m sure this is pretty predictable, but everything with the Volturi. But, more specifically:

I really like Gianna as a character because she creates an interesting parallel to Bella. I talked about this a little bit in this post, but Bella finds the idea of Gianna wanting to be a vampire, knowing full well she will kill humans, completely repulsive. But, Bella herself isn’t worried about being a vampire because she will be a ~vegetarian and ~totally won’t mess up~…you know because all of the Cullens have clean records. I really like how it shows that Bella has a completely idealized view on how vampirism will be if she was turned. Unfortunately, Bella gets to live this ridiculous idealized view of vampirism, but that’s another story. 

{To be honest, I would totally dig a spin-off about Gianna’s life and what led her to the Volturi.}

Felix calling “dibs” on Bella is pretty classic imo. In general though, I really love Felix…if that isn’t already obvious. 

I like the Bella dramatically running through Volterra and alleyway scene too. 

Aro being…Aro is really enjoyable (but it also reminds me of why I’m completely terrified of him). 

As for non-Volturi moments:

I love Bella and Jacob’s friendship. It was really pure, and sweet. 

Worst Parts of New Moon:

I hate how all the Cullens just up and leave Bella because Edward feels ~guilty that Bella is in danger for a lot of reasons.

Everyone blaming Rosalie for the “Edward being extra as hell and pulling a sparkling Romeo” fiasco. I don’t understand how it is even remotely her fault. All she did was relay the information to Edward, who could have spend 1-2 days checking to make sure Bella was in fact alive.

Jacob literally changing. 

I totally understand not wanting your best friend to turn into a blood sucking demon or whatever, but I don’t like how Jacob starts to turn into a plot device at the end of this book. It’s unfair to him as a character. It could have been handled in a better way. 

I did a fancast for the members of the Volturi and guard here. 

As for headcanons, here is a masterlist of my old headcanons (they are listed in no particular order):

Random Volturi Headcanons I

Random Volturi Headcanons II

Felix’s Totally Awesome and Not Safe Theme Park Ideas which may or may not align perfectly with my dream amusement park

“Stupidest thing someone has ever come to the Volturi for”

Volturi Coven x Horror Movie Night

Volturi Coven + Guard x Favorite Games

Caius’ Almost Fatal CotM headcanons

Afton Volturi Headcanons

Volturi x Southern Vampire War headcanons

Random Rant about how the Volturi wouldn’t have lost the Breaking Dawn battle (o, look. I’m still salty edition)

What’s in the Volturi Castle?? Headcanons

Alec’s Gift Headcanon

“Who Keeps up the Best with the Times in Volterra” Headcanon

I have a few questions in my inbox I’ll be posting soon that are headcanon requests too (and I’ll update this list when I post them; plus, I’ll add a tag to my masterlist soon for this list too so my headcanons can be more easily accessed). If you have a particular character or situation you want a headcanon about, feel free to shoot me an ask :3.