#more mutually beneficial

[homeless202]

thinking about Eunyung breaks my heart bc remember when he had a problem with stealing and managed to stop? but even then he still got accused of stealing and no one believed him when he said he didn't do it except for Haejoon?

or when he finally got a job at the restaurant aka a (somewhat) honest way to make money and afford to buy his own things? but he wasn't officially employed bc he's too young and got fucked over by his employer and got beat up by the guys at the playground during thanks giving when Haejoon spent days looking for him?

or when he the dorms filled up and he got that shitty roommate? the one he tried to get along with since the beginning but the mfer just wanted a room cleaner and free food? when Haejoon stepped in with the pan when the guy wanted to punch Eunyung?

<- these are all instances where Eunyung tried so hard to live a good and honest life, go on a straight path, be an upstanding citizen and a good person. every single time that shit blew up in his face royally and his efforts had gone to waste. he tried so hard and nothing came out of it. the mere thought makes pieces of my soul die.

---

this goes to show how hard it is to pull yourself out of where you started. the thing is, familiar things are magnetic. if you grew up surrounded by bad influences, you'll naturally gravitate towards them, no matter how hard you try get away, move on, do better. bc we naturally feel a pull towards things we're familiar with, things we know. think 'comfort zone', and how hard it is to get out of it.

that doesn't mean it is impossible to leave them behind, but it takes lots of time and effort, until you get used to the new good influences. until you learn to feel comfortable with what you're unfamiliar with.

you try, fail and try again. it's hard, but doable. when the universe throws lemons at you, you pick them up, squeeze them all into a water gun and shoot. aim for the eyes.

[cracklewink]

Science-themed mermay day 3: Parasite (Sea Trout + Tongue-eating Louse)

Shoutout to @moose__chan on twitter/insta for helping me double check the ASL!

Bonus:

[somegrumpynerd]

I like the idea that Cross realised Killer was touchstarved (he didn't have the words for it but he noticed how much Killer would settle down from it) and started giving him very small basic affection. Pat on the back, hand on the shoulder, maybe a quick friendly hug, all things he probably learned through royal guard training and thinks of as normal friend/coworker stuff.

But as they both got more comfortable in the routine of it, Killer started instigating touches and he was not shy about it (like not just leaning into Cross's side during movie night, he looks like he's trying to get into Cross's jacket with him)

And that this more intense affection made Cross realise he might also be just a little bit touchstarved

Bonus:

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Thank you all for voting in the poll to decide who was going to be the leader of the band! It turned out to be such a close race!

[squirrelstone]

me watching the Spider-Man franchise become a metaphor for determinism in direct conversation with the original concept

[basementcreation]

working on dnd character art for a new campaign. he's spiders

[canisalbus]

in light of that last ask, would you ever consider drawing Machete enjoying a little treat? Maybe licking cream off his snoot after devouring a sweet, or laughing at something unexpectedly silly, or being caught up in the beauty of something and showing some wonder...? Glimpse of happy Machete

(which, as an angst writer, is also a large part of how to make the bad stuff hit. Rip that happiness away, make a smile too ephemeral, etc. Joy as the most fragile of things, that can't be pursued and comes on its own terms...)

I love how you put it, "joy is the most fragile of things and comes on it's own terms".

I do, in fact, have a bunch of happy/content/uncharacteristically genuine Machete pieces underway. If I can keep up this surge of motivation I've been having during the past five weeks or so, you should see them soon.

[gifti3]

okay im back with more for this arranged marriage AU! Heres the last thing i wrote

this time i made something longer--Asmo and MC doing their little meeting/date before agreeing to marriage its fun check it out :]

the only warning is "an upset asmo getting in ur personal space'" other than that i think thats it!

Tomorrow you were supposed to meet your possible future fiancé. This type of affair was not a first time thing for you so you already had an idea of how things would go. Which was the two of you being forced to interact for several hours.

Though you knew what was coming, was it not possible to be a little nervous considering who it was you were meeting?

Asmodeus Morningstar--one of the most influential families in Nefarelin. Their was no shortage of exceptional members in that tree. And to be crass, every other potential spouse you met before were like dried leaves in comparison.

And this didn't even factor Asmodeus's own appeal and popularity. You'd only seen him in passing a few times but you could tell he was quite beautiful even from a distance. On top of that, the general public were strangely obsessed with him. You weren't completely sure why, but he must be very likeable if that's the case.

God, how many people have probably asked for his hand in marriage by now? You could only wonder.

All around it would be pretty foolish to turn this down. And that's why you were nervous…. Your parents were giving you a choice. But it was one of those choices where the answers were 'yes' or 'hmm, okay I suppose'. You did not want to know what would happen if you dare declined.

You'd already considered the logistics of this situation, dwelled on it for days. And it would definitely be a loveless marriage from your side. And that was something normal…but you were fine with how your life was currently! You didn't want to deal with any expectations romantic or otherwise from a spouse.

And what about Asmodeus.

He was well loved by many, had a reputation for enjoying the nightlife and being the center of attention. It seemed highly unlikely that a man like him was looking to "settle down" all of a sudden!

Your hands stop fiddling with your hair.

Wait.

Maybe this arrangement could work.

~

God this is so uncomfortable.

Maybe you underestimated Asmodeus. For some reason the first time your eyes met his saccharine ones, you struggled with maintaining contact. Each time, it felt like he was staring straight into your mind.

Perhaps it was just your nerves but either way you were overwhelmed. You didn't feel like yourself so had trouble talking.

Luckily for you, Asmodeus didn't notice or didn't care as he had been talking nonstop this entire time.

"Hellooo?"

"Oh--sorry what did you say?"

Asmodeus repeats his question while fanning himself. "I asked if you wanted to rest for a minute. I need a break from the sun."

"Okay…"

It was sunny today but not too hot to take a walk. Though you had been outside for a good while with Asmodeus. You both make your way to a gazebo that provided good shade around this time of day.

You rest your elbows on on of the railings and prop your head in your hands. A small sigh escapes you.

"Can you make it any more obvious that you don't want to be here?"

Asmodeus rests a small distance away, smiling but you're not so sure if he's being lighthearted about it.

It was a fair observation. These meetings always felt like a waste of time to you. They were forced interactions. The worst type. And you already knew you'd agree with the arranged marriage at the end anyways.

"Sorry, I'm just a little tired."

You look back at him and try to give a friendly(?) smile. Actually why not just be straightforward now?

"It's kind of hard to believe you want to get married. It doesn't seem like something that would interest someone like you."

"Eh…I guess there comes a time in everyone's life where they think about these things."

Very vague.

Asmodeus leans back in his chair, looking up as if he's scraping through his brain. "But I don't recall running into you beforehand. I definitely would have remembered…so how would you know that?"

"I've heard a lot about you. Kind of impossible not to."

You had a bit of an idea about him before this whole situation. But once it got out that he was "interested" in proposing, well the maids had no problem telling you everything they knew. It was definitely not all true, but it pretty much confirmed what you already felt.

"That makes sense. Isn't it great that now you get to experience me in person instead of by word-of-mouth~"

"…Uh huh. Well I feel like I should tell you now. That I plan to say yes."

"Say yes?"

"Say yes to marrying you."

You watch for any negative reactions but nothing. Though you were still sure he wasn't really interested in marriage.

"…Oh?"

"Listen I understand if you were forced into this position. In fact, I'm sure that you were. And to be honest I've never been partial to marriage myself. I always thought it wasn't in the cards for me…"

You take a step away from the railing closer to Asmodeus. "But wouldn't it be foolish to say no? Outside of the benefits it would have for my family. You're definitely one of the most sought after bachelors…and well just look at you. I'm almost a little envious…"

Asmodeus's curious face changes to something else. Something you can't really place your finger on. You just knew he didn't look very pleased.

"Well at least I know you're not blind." His fingers play with his fringe. "And that's all fine and dandy but…"

When Asmodeus stands and looks back at you your heart skips a beat. You take a step back as he takes one forward. "I hope you're ready to handle me because I don't think you can."

Oh my god what was happening?

You were frozen in place as Asmodeus trapped you against the railing between his arms. You didn't even think to push him away and just stood there stupidly.

"I-I…"

Rustling sounds from a nearby hedge, but when you both look in the direction of the noise there's giggling and the sound of retreating people.

You sigh. At least someone was enjoying the show.

You gently push at Asmodeus's chest so you can make space.

"Sorry sometimes the staff gets bored haha…er should we h-head back?"

"If that's what you want."

Asmodeus turns away from you. "I just want you to know that since this marriage is just a title I'll be sticking to my usual. Hope you don't mind~" He walks away humming to himself.

Your brows furrow…that man. Why'd he have to do all that? You weren't expecting anything different in the first place?

You let out a huge sigh. Was this going to be the norm from now on?

Well at least you both were on the same page about the marriage…. but you couldn't help but think a serious misunderstanding just occurred.

[dykedvonte]

@gecko-in-a-can THIS ABSOLUTELY

Resentment is such a big part of Benny’s motives towards House, feeling he’s underserving to rule and shouldn’t have the right to keep the title of Vegas just because he claimed it first long ago. Say what you will, Benny puts the effort in, through honest and dishonest work albeit, but he puts in the effort. Not saying House didn’t but House had the luxury of having a lot of that effort done before the war and subordinates to do so after. House is untouchable, something everyone wants in the Mojave, if not for the power, but because of the security. House takes that for granted seeing how easy he thinks it is to buy people. Benny, a Mojave native, has to be irate about that seeing how he has seen the heights and slums of both lives.

Also with the AIs it’s so telling because in a lot of ways, Yes Man has more autonomy than House’s major personality securitrons. Yeah, Yes Man has to be helpful but he’s aware and able to be snarky and coy. Benny has an issue with not being listened to but that’s the only perimeter Yes Man needs to act on. He can’t condescend but lord you can tell when he wants to. House’s AIs serves specific and highly detailed functions but are confined to act in accordance. They are subservient to a T and are extensions of House while Yes Man really is a creation that adapts further, hence his desire for the assertive upgrade. Benny made something, or at least was okay with a helper, that can progress for itself. House made things that replicate or facilitate an era of the past and don’t hold the power to contest it.

[killemwithkawaii]

Sal Fisher and Larry Johnson should make out sloppy style (and also have me in the middle sometimes) 💋💋💋💦✅

[the-sage-libriomancer]

thinking about how Franky knows Loid's marriage to Yor is a ruse (both for the real Operation Strix version and the fake get-into-Eden version), but Yor doesn't know that he knows. he's the only person Yor has met who knows it's actually just a marriage of convenience, and consequentially who knows that she isn't really in love with him (supposedly anyway heheheh), so theoretically he'd be the guy Yor can turn to if she wants to talk about how she actually is falling for her husband and that's weird and confusing, because Franky is already fully aware that she wasn't already in love with him. except she doesn't know that he knows, so she can't do that. makes me wonder if she'll find out before Loid gets outed as a spy and it becomes a moot point.

[darlin-djarin]

wait until star wars fans hear about the endosymbiotic theory

[somebody-already-took-this-url]

You’re in her DM’s, I’m in her ao3 comments pleading for more wlw smutfic. We are not the same

[writhe]

struggling with the idea of potentially owning a home and having someone pay me to be a housemate but it’s unlikely i could sustainably afford a mortgage & taxes & utilities in a house alone. if i become a landlord i need you to kill me. but the solution can’t just be that in a permarenter & it benefits people with more wealth until i die. i’m thinking…a housemate would pay into the monthly cost & for their share of utilities BUT maybe i’d also be able to provide some sort of non-monetary trade i.e. larger share of housework or free art or ??

[the-bi-space-ace]

Crosshair and I are a lot alike. I, too, will never pass up an opportunity to make fun of Hunter.

[fullscoreshenanigans]

Imagine if Krone had mocking Isabella's fate during his discussion with Emma and Norman?

Like telling them that ALL the sisters have to had children, the only difference is that the ones becoming mama (like Isabella) can have only one

(i headcanon that the Sisters in the Headquarter have generally maybe two or three kids, maybe more for some… …considering that there are 5 houses at Grace Field …and 1 child shipped every 2 months by house. It mean 6 by house every year. So the whole Grace Field facility ship more or less 30 children by year. …so yeah i really think that some sisters have to had more than one child, especially considering how the Sisters Formation is hard and that not a lot sucess)

And then Krone would mocking Isabella like "Her child must be almost 12 now…hum if they have not been shipped yet, they'll be very soon, i wonder how she felt about it, not knowing her baby's fate since six years." in a kind of "lol"

(also because her own child is probably too young to be shipped since she is only 26 and so her child can only be younger than 6. She thinks that, unlike Isabella, SHE is sure that her child is alive)

Norman would maybe feel some little sympathy for Isabella, even if feeling stil betrayed and angry toward her. And he wouldn't like that Krone finds hilarous the idea of Isabella not knowing her child's fate.

Emma would wonder how a mother can do that. And wouldn't like that Krone finds that funny too.

Krone would be like "you really think we have the choice? that's cute" because a part of her doesn't like the way Emma judge her. Like she would say to her that it's easy to judge when she has not been at her place.

And later, Norman and Emma speak about it with Ray and is internally panicking. He's also kinda pissed that Krone finds that funny and hopes that Isabella suffers because of it. How petty this woman is to hope that? (for real, a part of him also hope that Isabella suffers at the idea to ship him because a part of him hope that she loves him but he's kinda in denial about it)

I wonder if Krone's child is at Grace Firld. what if it's Chamberlain?

Isabella is an anomaly when it comes to Moms in that she's the youngest one to ever be selected in the history of at least the current incarnation of Grace Field that's been around for roughly 400 years.

(Mystic Code Book Chapter 1 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 181.2 | Chapter 181.3)

Her excellent test scores at the farm and later at headquarters combined with favoritism from Sarah led to her placement being expedited. With there being an extremely limited number of Mom positions, most Sisters (because they're all Sisters first, Isabella being the exception and not the rule) are left waiting for years, and this is what results in them having multiple children if they don't retrain for another path, not that Moms are limited to having a single child. If anything, you'd think they'd want more children bred from those who reach that position, so the time spent waiting for spots to open up would be beneficial for the demons. Sarah had enough sway to persuade those in charge to get a recent graduate of the Sister training in there, though, so Isabella was able to skip to the front of the wait list.

I'm not entirely sure what Krone would gain from mocking Isabella in this manner? There's the melodrama for the readers who are aware of her connection with Ray and then later seeing his reaction to it, but it seems counterproductive in how it not only generates sympathy for Isabella when Krone wants the children on her side, but also, and the more important reason, it's being done at the expense of an innocent child. She's openly reveling in the demise of a child for the perceived harm it does to Isabella and her reputation. The being petty part in itself is fine and serves as commentary on infighting being used by oppressors as a means to prevent class solidarity and systemic change, but it seems like a disservice to Krone's character that she'd indulge in it in front of the people she's trying to form an alliance with when she knows her being a Sister and what that says about her is already upsetting to them.

(Chapter 20)

And then on the meta front, it would be too direct in hinting at the Isabella-Ray connection with how forward it is in reminding the audience Isabella was required to have a child to become a Mom instead of leaving it as a thread lingering in the background.

(Chapter 31)

Isabella talks with Emma about becoming a Mom after having a child in what is one of the most harrowing moments of the series for me (the way she so calmly and casually tells this eleven-year-old to submit to systemic medical rape, to surrender her child to the same system and perpetuate the cycle of cruelty and violence, because she genuinely believes it's the best path for her, wrecks me on so many levels), and the imagery of a pregnant Isabella is there for the reader, but she never explicitly mentions her own biological child. The in-universe reasons for why are up for debate, but the meta one is to not be any more obvious about her connection to Ray than what's already been implied with the lullaby, their shared physical traits, and the spy arrangement.

(also because her own child is probably too young to be shipped since she is only 26 and so her child can only be younger than 6. She thinks that, unlike Isabella, SHE is sure that her child is alive) wonder if Krone's child is at Grace Field. what if it's Chamberlain?

It is interesting how Krone never spares a thought for her child during all the time the reader has with her, but that might be a nod to the compartmentalizing all Sisters and Moms do in order to avoid cognitive dissonance.

And later, Norman and Emma speak about it with Ray and is internally panicking. He's also kinda pissed that Krone finds that funny and hopes that Isabella suffers because of it. How petty this woman is to hope that? (for real, a part of him also hope that Isabella suffers at the idea to ship him because a part of him hope that she loves him but he's kinda in denial about it)

Definitely agree about the conflicting feelings Ray has toward Isabella and the self-loathing he holds for caring when he knows logically nothing good can come of it.