#most likely to cause a meltdown or get stressed

[not-too-many-eyes]

A Study on Mesmer Jr.

(Also Known As: Nott is obsessed with the bigot autistic girl from the time travel gacha game and its her birthday tommorow so lets talk about her.)

(CWs: Ableism, racism, child abuse) I Love Mesmer Jr. Which isn't a secret to any of my friends who have had to listen to me talk about her at length. I cannot get her out of my head. I think she's fantastically written, fun to read about, and just an all around interesting character.

As such, I want to take a moment to pull apart Mesmer Jr, and consider her place in this story. To contemplate why she acts the way she does, and to connect to the themes relating to her character. I hope you enjoy reading this.

A Curious Impression

Mesmer Jr makes an interesting impression when you first meet her. For one, she immediately causes alarm bells to rings when she talks to Sonneto, one of her earliest conversations, who she says she enjoys talking to because of their "shared values" she feels the need to say that she would have liked talking to her more if she were a "full-blooded human."

Which is something that you see a lot whenever she's complimenting an arcanist, or considering arcanists in any positive light. Even if it's inappropriate in the context, she feels the need to assert her beliefs, to say that:

Mesmer Jr, Praise: As an arcanist, your performance really amazes me. Wish you were a pure-blood human.

Of course, as we know, Mesmer Jr is an arcanist. She's a full-blooded arcanist. Being noted to be from a very Important family, and even being implied to be more talented than most of her family in their line of work: (The Fallacy of Idealism)

Nobody is more talented in this than Mesmer Jr. Her bloodline gives her outstanding ability and keen senses, which makes everything clear and intelligible to her.

She's also startlingly obedient. She has no noticeable outward negativity towards what Constantine has ordered her to do to Vertin, despite it seeming to cause pain or stress. Insisting that this is the normal treatment given to patients despite Madam Z's opinion, and we learn Much Later that her boss had an ulterior motive to all this.

She's even noted before we meet her to seem like a:

(Open Sandwich)

???: It is the other one- the one with indifferent outlines that makes her look like a refined machine.

Evoking images of perfectly programmed robots and droids that do what they are ordered to perfectly without question.

Of course, in the same part this line is from, the game is already nudging us to be open-minded when it comes to interacting with her. As the first thing we learn about her isn't her personality, isn't her appearance, isn't even her Voice.

It's her abuse.

Dirtied Hands

Open Sandwich is one of my favorite bits of writing in this game. It creates this incredible tension where you just waiting for the bad thing to happen, the line about how the child labor laws were turned into paper to wrap the sandwich is wonderful, and I love it.

But it's also the first time we ever actually hear about her. It depicts her having a Sensory Meltdown. Caused by her family's uh- blatant disregard for children's rights, and exposing her to a patient at age 12 because her skill was useful for the treatment. The trauma of the event marking the start of her "nightmare."

Of course this isn't the Only Thing she has gone through at the age of 12. The entire events of Nouvelles et Textes pour Rien happened during when she was 12. She might of had even more traumatic experience before that, considering she went to SPDM, a school that we know Very Well for their child abuse, and she Certainly had traumatic experiences afterwards.

She Is a 16 year old therapist taking care of The Foundation's most "unstable" patients, after all:

Mesmer Jr, Suitcase Climate: Those insane people screamed and rushed out of the guardroom. They kept meaninglessly and repeatedly roaring. Then, their blood shed on the snowy ground. I've seen that a lot.

The Rights of Children Don't Matter when there is Scarcity. Her needs are secondary to The Company's. Her welfare simply isn't important for the Foundation's Beautiful Future. Only the skills and infromation she can provide.

Constantine even manipulated Mesmer Jr into telling her the plan. Purposefully traumatizing her so that she would become scared and anxious. She Asked her to help them, trusting that Constantine, an adult she trusted, would be able to help. Constantine just lied, and made her continue to treat these people even when the experience mind numbingly traumatic for even fully-grown adults.

As a result, Mesmer Jr has developed multiple mental illnesses. Most notable OCD, but she seems to hallucinate in her Monologue.

She's not exactly a healthy person, which really compounds how much you Don't want her to be a therapist.

Of course, it's not like she would ever seek actual proper treatment for it.

For many reasons.

For one, Reverse 1999 is not exactly a kind world to the mentally ill, and she herself is a good example as to why.

Proper Treatment

Let's go back to the first thing I mentioned about Mesmer Jr. She's a bigot, she's a certified racist to every arcanist she ever talks to. She thinks humans are the superior race that will overtake arcanists.

She's also ableist. Just horrible ableist. These two bigotries are intertwined in Very important ways. Her hatred of arcanists is informed by her hatred of the mentally ill, and is further informed by what she has been taught about arcanists.

Reverse has established that the way arcanists and humans are generally viewed is that arcanists are the more emotional, unstable, immature ones and humans are the more logical, stable, and mature ones.

Now, this is a stereotype, one that has been proven wrong time and time again. There is nothing logical, stable, or mature about being so upset at a 12 year old you think killing her friends is a good idea.

And similarly, there is nothing actually inherently wrong about being a weirdo, or mentally ill. For one, uh, everyone is a bit of a freak sometimes, and two, Mesmer Jr treats it as if for the world to get better arcanists need to fully disappear and be replaced with human rationality, but Madam Hoffman says it best:

(Chapter 6 Part 15: With Hope Rekindled)

Hofmann: We have all heard it, humans are more rational and arcanists are more emotional. Hofmann: Their sensitive to the darkness of the world, so they can easily become absorbed in their own emotions and ignore reality Hofmann: But, if we put a human child in the position of an arcanist, who always takes on the world because of his uniqueness, who is never understood for his talents... Hoffmann: Maybe he too will become impulsive, sensitive immature and unstable Hoffmann: And that's why it sometimes dawns on me that if we put an arcanist child in the position of a human being who receives enough love, education, and positive feedback... Hoffmann: These 'instabilities' might be controllable. At least enough to keep them from hurting themselves or others.

But Mesmer Jr really does believe wholeheartedly that being a "freak" is bad, and that being an arcanist is to blame for why she is one.

Mesmer Jr, Hat and Hair: Thanks to it, we are all freaks now. Haven't you ever blamed your brain? Haven't you for once vomited due to the sound or whisper in your brain? How naive and ignorant.

That being an arcanist is something inherently wrong, and as a result of that inherent wrongness, that inherent "insanity," they need to be controlled by humanity.

Mesmer Jr, Chitchat II: I can only stand those arcanists from the Foundation and the Laplace. After all, their insanity is contained by humans.

She believes that humans are destined to overtake arcanists like it's natural selection. That it's only inevitable that arcanists will be overtaken by a species that in her eyes, is logical and understandable.

Mesmer Jr, To the Future: Just like Homo sapiens wiped out Neanderthals, arcanists will be eliminated as well. This is not a prediction, but a predestined fate.

This is, of course, due to the systemic part of Reverse's world constantly pushing this idea that arcanists are Inherently more immature and chaotic.

Constantine and her family deeply traumatized Mesmer Jr and then told her it wasn't actually their fault but this Other Group that She is also apart of but Don't Worry it can Be Controlled.

Mesmer Jr: It's not just about age. It was never going to be suitable for me. Mesmer Jr: Unless one day all the arcanists are gone. Pandora Wilson: Then you and I will be gone, too. Mesmer Jr: Exactly, along with the source of my pain

However, Mesmer Jr's own mental illnesses and susceptibility towards being overwhelmed by others emotions does really mean that she finds being around highly emotional people Taxing. She also finds that the unpredictable of life and other people Tiresome.

She was friends with Vertin in the rest when she was younger sure, but even then she did find arcanists overwhelming and "scary," even when she wasn't in the full thick of it, she saw them being treated and found it unpleasant and painful.

(Nouvelles et Textes pour Rien)

Mesmer Jr: But I'm not interested in arcanists. They are all mad people, and we had to treat them after all...They looked scary.

Now, usually, you grow out of this. She's not Born To Be Racist Forever.

In a better world she very much could have, I dunno-

Be able to actually internalize that arcanists aren't actually inherently a harmful thing, but that her needs sometimes conflict with the needs of others and grew up with the tools necessary to understand that this is a fixable problem that doesn't actually need a whole group of people including herself to die to be solved.

Or, something like that.

However, this isn't that world, this world thinks Mesmer Jr is a good therapist, and that her treatment is humane.

So she's seeks to create stability in the world as a result of that lack of support.

Mesmer Jr, Hobby: What you see is the alignment and tidiness. What I adore is this orderly state.

As much as she understands that it's a sign of her own "franticness" that she does this, it gives her comfort knowing that she has things that she Can Control. That her life isn't actually dictated fully by things out of her understanding. That she has the ability to direct her life in a small, maybe even insignificant way.

Cause, she really just doesn't have much control over her life.

Press the Button

Mesmer Jr, Clothing and Torso: ...Achieve the function.

A lot of Mesmer Jr's idolization of humanity comes from this idea of efficiency and simplicity. She talks so much about rationality and "tidiness," but as I've already established Reverse is full of so many instances of "human insanity" so it's plain ignorant to ascribe this trait to humans.

Which, well one she is ignorant, and also racism isn't rational and Mesmer Jr was taught human supremacy of course it's not going to be aligned with actual reality.

Which is true.

However, I do think it's interesting these traits that she idolizes are not from humans but from:

Mesmer Jr, Clothing and Torso: Humans are like machinery, simple and efficient. Arcanists are quite the opposite.

That's who she's actually idolizing here, isn't it? She's not really idolizing humans, that's just the framework she was given. She's idolizing machines and going "Wow humans are so cool."

Her Udimo is a machine.

Not just any machine, but a machine invented in part By Her Workplace, and even when she was 12 the narrator describes her as a "refined machine." Indifferent and rigid.

This is the beautiful controlled being that she is seeking! The beautiful tidy, orderly, calm being that just proceeds with whatever order is given to it. One that has...completely no control over it's life, and what to do with it.

Because, traditionally speaking, Machines do not have the ability to self-determine. They don't exist as people with conscious thought and emotion, but as Things and Tools that can Achieve Functions.

I noted way back in the start that Mesmer Jr is startlingly obedient. She does what she is told, and encourages others to do the same.

She's glad that Vertin:

Mesmer Jr, 100% Bond Conversation: ...Anyway, I'm glad you gave up on those insane plans.

Before saying that she doesn't want to be forced to Lobotomize Her, and that she doesn't actually want anyone to end up in Artificial Somnambulism.

But she doesn't say she won't do it. Just that she's happy Vertin did "give up" because it means that she probably won't have to. This seems to be her general approach. Even if she's not happy, she'll do it, her wants don't matter.

She assumes that she has no other option and that her only path forward is following orders from her boss. That the only path forward is the one set for her. There's no point in fighting it so she's just gonna continue on that path, and others should do the same or else they'll get Hurt. Learned Helplessness.

Sonetto is similar to her in this sense (Mesmer Jr says so herself,) and Sonetto is shown to hold quite a lot of repressed emotions, and to deviate from the rules or what is logical when she feels something is at stake.

After all: (Is ABA Really “Dog Training for Children”? A Professional Dog Trainer Weighs In.)

We all know that we can feel angry without expressing anger. That we can smile when inside we are crying. You can stop someone from expressing an emotion, but that doesn’t make the emotion go away. A dog who has been trained not to growl is considered by trainers to be a “time bomb dog.” When you read about a dog attack that came “out of nowhere” and “without warning,” it is because this sort of method was used to handle “problem behaviours.” Studies show that dogs trained with these sorts of methods actually have an increased rate of aggression, because punishing aggressive behaviour doesn’t deal with the underlying fear and anxiety that caused the aggression in the first place.

But Mesmer Jr, in contrast to Sonetto, who has an interest in poetry and curiosity in the outside world and has the aforementioned repressed emotions. Has no real distinct personal identity. She does not own anything that shows her interests, unlike her other coworkers who usually have at least Something on them. All of her items are stuff made by Laplace and exist unaltered. Even her cute little headband is a EM amplifier is part of the uniform.

She holds no control, no identity, no agency. She exists as a machine that someone can press the buttons of and achieve whatever function she needs to achieve at the given moment.

This is her current state of existence, and it's not something that's exactly sustainable. The cracks in this machine-living have been showing since she was 12. How many more do you think have been created now that she's 16?

The Foundation

Now, this is really depressing, but that's because Mesmer Jr is just a bit of a depressing character. She can't really get away from her job. For one, her parents are horrible, two The Storm means that the world is always on the verge of ending. Where else will she go?

But, as said previously:

A dog who has been trained not to growl is considered by trainers to be a “time bomb dog.”

Similarly, a girl trained to not develop any sort of identity will crack Someday.

I have no knowledge of what could happen next in her story, nor am I interested in theorizing about it. But I do find it interesting to think about.

[monzabee]

prison for life - mv1

masterlist ||

Summary: The one where if anybody hurts you, Max is going to prison for life.

Pairing: max verstappen x pregnant!reader 

Word Count: 3.9k

Warnings: fluff, pregnancy, mentions of throwing up, cursing, kinda angsty in some places, jos verstappen

Author’s Note: hi, hey, hello!! i’ve been in such a max mood recently that is actually shocking to me, but i just needed some fluffy anything after working on smutty pieces for weeks. i got this idea in my dream and honestly i think it turned out better than i could’ve imagined!! feedback is always appreciated, and my requests are currently open if you want to check that out, i hope you guys enjoy! good morning, noon or night wherever you are, xoxobee

Please also note that all of my works are protected under copyright, and not available for reposting on other platforms. 

If you would have to choose a word to describe Max, it would be ‘overprotective’, because that’s what he is. It’s not a bad thing, per say. He isn’t overbearing or controlling at all, but he is simply overprotective. And if you thought he was overprotective when the two of you were dating or when you first got married, you have to admit that you were not, at all, prepared for his protectiveness when you told him that you were pregnant. Apart from his initial meltdown over becoming a dad, or rather becoming like his own father, Max has been pretty chill about the whole thing – with the exception being your safety, of course. The underlying problem isn’t the fact that you’re some sort of daredevil because you’re not, the problem is the fact that Max believes that everything is out to get you. 

The olives you wanted to eat for breakfast? Choking hazard.  

The candles you bought for the living room (to be purely decorative, but still)? Fire hazard.  

The pool lounger Victoria thought would be a cute addition to the pool? Drowning hazard.  

The seatbelt in his car that is surprisingly tight? Could be all three, according to Max, given the right (or wrong) circumstances.  

So, yeah, maybe he wasn’t that scared of becoming a dad, but he was surely scared of you being in danger. That’s why you agreed to stay back for the most races this year – you knew he didn’t need to worry about you or your baby’s safety on top of the stress he had to deal with during the usual racing weekend. That was until you realised how much you would miss your boyfriend after almost a month of not seeing him due to a triple header. And so, you did the thing any person with a common sense would do – flying out to see him without telling him beforehand, because what’s the fun in that?  

The sheer look of shock on his face might be the funniest thing you’ve ever seen when you meet him in his driver’s room, but of course Max doesn’t share the same sentiment as you. Because all he chooses to focus is the fact that you were on a plane – a 0.23% risk out of very 7.7 million flights each year, but still. He spends at least half an hour, just checking you over and assuring himself that you and the baby are fine; at some point he decides that you need to go to the nearest hospital to get an ultrasound just to make sure the baby is okay, but you tell him to fuck off and calm his tits down in the kindest way possible. And that’s how the two of you end up on the small couch in his driver’s room, with his arms around you as you lay between his legs, his hands splayed on the swell of your stomach as he caresses the skin through the fabric of your dress. His voice is low as he tells you about his day, mostly media duties since it is only Thursday, and how he thinks putting a cat tree in the nursery is a bad idea (that was your idea initially, but you can see how having two rumbunctious cats hang out in the nursery could cause problems). 

“I also thought about something else,” he mumbles, suddenly busying himself with the flower pattern of your dress instead of looking at you.  

You raise your brows slightly, motioning him to continue, but let out a huff when he doesn’t do so right away. “Come on,” you whine softly, “tell me what it is Maxie.”  

“I don’t want him to get into karting.” His words are soft, mumbled, and most definitely final. You know how Max can be when he puts his mind into it, and this particular topic has been a discussion in your household ever since the two of you found out that you were having a boy. “I don’t want him to go through what I went through.” 

Letting out a soft exhale, you motion Max to six next to you on the couch. “He won’t,” you assure him, voice soft as you give pleading looks at him, “you’re not your father, Max.” He gives you a look that basically begs for you to not dwell on the topic, but you continue despite the look he gives you, “And what if he wants to get into karting? Are you going to tell him no?” 

Max tries his best to ignore the knowing look you give him, knowing very well that he won’t be able to ever say ‘no’ to his son, who already has him wrapped around his finger. “I might do that, you never know.” He grumbles, hiding his face in your hair – though the soft giggles coming from you manages to put a soft smile on his face. “You’re supposed to agree with me, you know, we have to be a united front.”   

“We’ll discuss it when the baby comes, until then, I’ll be the voice of reason.” You emphasise, poking him at his bicep to convey your point. “You feel better now?” 

“Kinda,” he murmurs, leaving small kisses onto the exposed skin of your shoulder as he keeps on murmuring against your skin, “I would feel better if I knew you stayed in bed all day, relaxing.” 

With that, you choke a loud laugh, and motion him to stand up as you try to do it yourself – though, of course, he has to help with the baby bump being in the way of you doing any sort of physical activity. “You’re funny, let’s go get me ice cream.”  

The only response you get back is a confused look from your husband, his head tilted to the side as he eyes you warily. “What does that have to do with anything?” 

“Um, excuse me?” You raise an eyebrow, “Your son,” pointing to your stomach, you emphasise your words, “is craving ice cream right now.”  

Max’s eyes soften instantly, and a smile creeps across his face. He nods, taking your hand gently as he helps you up. “Well, if my son wants ice cream, then ice cream he shall have.” 

You giggle as you both make your way out of the driver’s room, Max's hand never leaving yours. The paddock is bustling with activity, but for a moment, it feels like it's just the two of you, cocooned in your little world. As you approach the nearest concession stand, Max’s protective instincts kick in once again. “Is this ice cream stand safe? How long have they been here? Do they have the proper health certifications?” 

You roll your eyes playfully. “Max, it’s ice cream, not a five-course meal. I’m sure it’s fine.” He sighs but nods, deciding to trust your judgment. After all, you did manage to fly all the way here without incident and somehow alerting him. You both get a generous serving of your favourite flavours, and as you sit down to enjoy your treat, you feel a sense of normalcy and contentment wash over you. 

Max watches you with a tender expression, his eyes filled with a mixture of love and worry. “I know I can be overprotective,” he says softly, reaching out to brush a stray hair from your face, “but it’s only because I love you so much.” 

You smile, leaning into his touch. “I know, Max. And I love you too. But sometimes, you need to trust that everything will be okay. We’ll figure things out together, just like we always do.” 

He nods, his gaze shifting to your belly. “You’re right. I guess I need to talk to my mom.”  

“Why?” You ask, tilting your head to the side in curiosity.  

“Well, she promised me she’d look after you but you’re here, so I think we need to have a talk about not keeping secrets from each other.” He mumbles, dragging a hand down his face. 

You laugh, nudging him playfully. “Oh, Maxie, who do you think helped me with my bags at the airport? Your mom is unsurprisingly a strong woman.” 

He chuckles softly, shaking his head. “I should’ve known better than to think you’d stay put for a whole month.” He sighs, but there’s a smile playing on his lips. “Alright, but next time, at least let me know you’re planning something. My heart can only take so much.” 

Max feels a lot better after tricking you with ice-cream into at least staying put withing the Red Bull hospitality for the day as he gets through his media duties. Max feels a lot better after tricking you with ice cream into at least staying put within the Red Bull hospitality for the day as he gets through his media duties. He periodically checks in, making sure you're comfortable and well-fed. Each time he sneaks a glance your way, you catch him with a knowing smile and a roll of your eyes, and he returns it with a wink. He knows that there is absolutely no reason for him to be checking on you as much as he does, because you’ll be fine in the cool hospitality suite with enough water to keep you hydrated for years, but he can’t help but worry about anything and everything going wrong. And his worries prove to be true when he sees the one person who he definitely doesn’t want around you.  

“What are you doing here?” He asks the approaching figure, “I thought you were not going to be coming to this race but the next one.”  

“Given the drop in your performance in the last few races I thought I should be here for... support.” His dad supplies, eyes finding you behind his son’s back on one of the couches in the hospitality, “And I can see the reason for why you’ve been distracted lately, what is she doing here?”  

Max scoffs, crossing his arms on his chest protectively, “She’s my wife, she is more than welcome to be here.” 

“She’s also a distraction, Max,” his father points out, “you’re going to lose your focus if you keep–” 

Since Max is faster than his father where it matters the most, he cuts him off before he can say anything further. “Leave, I don’t want you here.” 

Max’s father looks taken aback, his eyes widening momentarily before they narrow into a scowl. “Excuse me?” he says, his voice low and dangerous. 

“You heard me,” Max replies firmly, his stance unwavering. “I don’t want you here if you’re going to criticize my wife and stress me out, or worse, stress her out.” 

“You’re being irrational,” his father argues, taking a step closer. “I’m just trying to help you stay focused.” Seeing that his son is not going to back down anytime soon, he points a threatening finger towards him. “I’ll be back on race day, but you better be ready to put in a winning performance,” his father finishes, his voice laced with finality. He turns on his heel and walks away, leaving a tense silence in his wake. 

Max sighs deeply, running a hand through his hair as he watches his father disappear into the crowd. Looking back at you over his shoulder, talking to some interns from the social media team, he can’t help but feel the dread of you having to face his father – which gives him another reason to somehow stop the two of you from running into each other during the weekend.  

On Friday, Max’s luck decides to do him a favour as you tell him that you’re not feeling well enough to go to the track with him for the qualifying, and though it is true that he wants you to be with him, he also realises that this will give him one less thing to worry about. He knows how stressful it can be for you to navigate the bustling paddock and deal with the crowds, especially with the added pressure of possibly encountering his father. 

“You rest up, okay?” he says, his voice full of concern. “I'll be back as soon as I can. If you need anything, just call me.” 

You nod, giving him a reassuring smile. “I will, Max. Good luck today. We'll be cheering you on from here.” 

Max leans down to kiss your forehead gently as he mumbles into your skin, “I love you.”  

“I love you too,” you reply, your voice soft and comforting, “be careful out there, okay?” 

Max has one goal throughout qualifying, and to his team principal’s dismay, it is not being on pole. His one and only goal is to get the session done with as quickly as possible and get back to you as soon as he can. After the session ends, he barely waits for the car to come to a stop before jumping out and heading straight for the hospitality suite. His team notices his urgency but knows better than to question it once he tells them he’ll pay whatever fine the FIA will give him for missing his interviews. 

Bursting through the door, Max finds you resting comfortably on the couch, a cup of tea in your hands. The sight of you immediately calms his racing heart. “Hey,” he says softly, walking over to sit beside you. “How are you feeling?” 

You smile up at him, still in his team gear and the hat he almost never takes off, the warmth in your eyes easing his worries. “Better, now that you're here. How did it go?” 

“Starting on pole,” he replies, mostly in a mumble, taking your hand in his. “But all I could think about was getting back to both of you.” 

You squeeze his hand, your expression tender. “I'm proud of you, Max. You did great.” 

He leans in, pressing a gentle kiss to your lips. “Thanks. Let's just relax for the rest of the day, hm? I want to hold you to make sure you’re not getting out of this bed until tomorrow.” 

“You know, I would be happier about this proposal if it was until different circumstances,” you sigh, earning a laugh from him as he pulls you towards his chest, being careful not to spill your tea, of course. Why? Because it is a safety hazard, of course. 

As you settle back into the bed together, Max feels a sense of relief wash over him. The stress of the day melts away in your presence, and he realizes how much he needs these quiet moments with you to forget all about the outside world and focus his energy on what actually matters instead. 

The next day, feeling much better, you prepare to join Max at the track for the race. He’s still concerned but reassured by your determination to support him. As you arrive at the paddock together, Max is more attentive than ever, keeping an eye out for his father in hopes of trying to prevent the two of you running into each other. Navigating through the bustling paddock, Max keeps a protective arm around your waist, and a hand on your bump whenever the two of you stand somewhere talking to someone, guiding you through the throngs of people. His eyes constantly scan the crowd, his jaw set in a determined line. The other drivers and team members greet you warmly, and you return their smiles, feeling the anticipation that surrounds you. 

“Max, relax a bit,” you whisper, squeezing his hand as you notice the tension in his posture. 

He glances down at you, his expression softening slightly. “I just want to make sure everything’s okay.” 

“I know,” you reply, reaching up to stroke his cheek, “but we’re here to enjoy the race and support you. Try to focus on that.” 

He nods, taking a deep breath as both of you make your way to the Red Bull hospitality area. The team welcomes you with open arms, and you settle into a comfortable spot where you can watch the preparations for the race. He asks one of the interns to keep an eye on you, which he thought he was being sly whilst doing it, but you of course catch him in the corner of your eye. That’s when you realise the man walking towards him, your eyes meeting in nothing short of disdain for each other.  

You stiffen slightly, your hand tightening around Max’s hand as he turns just in time to see his father approaching, his protective instincts kicking into high gear as he lets go of your hand and decides to wrap his arm around you protectively instead. 

“Max,” Jos says, his tone neutral but carrying an underlying condescension. “We need to talk before your race begins, walk with me.” 

Max's grip tightens around you for a moment before he reluctantly loosens his hold. “What is it, Dad?” he asks, his voice steady but tinged with irritation. 

Jos's eyes flicker to you before focusing back on Max. “I wanted to discuss strategy, but I can see this isn't a good time.” 

Max's jaw clenches, his protective instincts on high alert. “If it's important, we can talk here. I’m not leaving her side.”  

Jos sighs, clearly frustrated. “Fine, if that's how you want it.” 

Max’s arm remains firmly around you as his father steps closer. “Make it quick,” Max insists, his tone leaving no room for argument. If other people were to see your eyes moving from one Verstappen to the other, they’d probably think you are watching a tennis match, though the situation in front of you is certainly more tense than that. 

Jos glances at you once more before addressing Max. “I just wanted to remind you to stay focused. Pole position is a great start, but you need to keep your head in the race.” 

Max's eyes narrow, and he lets out a scoff, “I know how to do my job, no need for reminder. Anything else?” 

Jos shakes his head, his expression a mix of disappointment and resignation. “Just don’t let distractions cost you the win.” 

“What is that supposed to mean?” Max hisses, taking a step towards his father as he gently pushes you behind himself. You have to put a hand against his chest to slow him down, though that doesn’t prove to be a sufficient prevention method. “I already told you; she is my wife, and he is not going anywhere so you better get that into that damaged brain of yours.” 

“Max,” you try to plead with him, “please, not before your race.”  

He gives you a look over his shoulder for a short moment before turning back towards his father. His jaw is set as he looks at the man in front of him. “I’ll only tell you this one more time. When she’s here with me, you don’t show up. If you do show up, you don’t come near her, you don’t talk to her, you don’t even look at her.” Another step taken towards his father has you tightening your hold on him, but he still manages to convey his message. “Try something like this again, and you won’t be in my life anymore let alone my son’s.” 

Jos's lips press into a thin line, his eyes darting to you briefly before settling back on Max. “Fine,” he repeats, his tone colder. “Just remember what’s at stake every time you get behind the wheel.” 

Max stands his ground, his eyes locked onto his father's, unwavering. “I know exactly what's at stake, and I don't need you reminding me. Now, if you’ll excuse us, we have a race to focus on.” 

Max stands his ground, his eyes locked onto his father's, unwavering. “I know exactly what's at stake, and I don't need you reminding me. Now, if you’ll excuse us, we have a race to focus on.”

It’s not the first time Max has stood up to his father, not by any means. But you can tell that this time affects him in a different way. The weight of the words exchanged and the implications for their future relationship linger in the air. You can feel the tension radiating from Max as he watches his father walk away, and it takes a moment for him to relax his posture and turn back to you. “Please tell me something that will calm me down so I don’t somehow do something that would put me to jail.”

“Okay,” you singsong, quickly positioning yourself in front of him so that you can fix him with a strict look on your face. “You are not doing something that will put you into prison, period.”

“I’m going to need a very good reason because all I want to do right now is follow him to his car and punch him.” Unfortunately for you, the way his jaw is set is a telling sign that, no, Max would actually do something like this given the circumstances.

“There is no sim racing in prison.” You try to provide, giving him a weak smile.  

Max's lips twitch into a small, reluctant smile at your words, the tension in his jaw easing slightly. “No sim racing in prison, huh? Do you honestly think that would keep me from doing something stupid?” 

“I panicked!” You exclaim, hitting him on his chest lightly as he laughs at you silently. “How are you supposed to help me raise our son,” you point to your stomach to emphasise your point, “if you’re in prison, huh?”

Max's smile grows wider, the tension in his posture finally starting to melt away. “Okay, okay, you’ve got a point,” he says, placing his hands on your shoulders and looking into your eyes. “I need to be here for both of you. But it’s so damn hard to ignore him.” 

You reach up and cup his face in your hands, your eyes soft and filled with understanding. “I know, but you’re stronger than him. And you have more important things to focus on. Like winning this race and getting me more ice cream on our way back to the hotel.” 

He takes a deep breath, nodding slowly as he lets out a soft chuckle. “You’re right. I can’t let him get to me. Not today.” 

“Exactly,” you say, giving him a reassuring smile, “I usually am.” 

Max laughs, the sound lightening the mood even more. “Yes, you usually are,” he agrees, pulling you closer for a brief kiss. “Thank you for always knowing how to calm me down.” 

“That’s what I’m here for,” you say, resting your forehead against his. “Now, go out there and show everyone what you can do. We’ll celebrate with ice cream afterward.” 

“Deal,” he replies, his eyes twinkling with affection and determination. With one last squeeze, he lets you go and turns towards his team, his focus now fully on the race ahead. “But I feel like I need to let you know that I would definitely go to prison for life for you.” 

You laugh, shaking your head. “Don’t you have a race to win, Verstappen?” 

He grins, giving you one last kiss before heading off to prepare for the race, giving you a grin over his shoulder as he starts to move away, “So, I’ll get the rest of that kiss after the race, then?” 

“Yeah, Max,” you let out a breathy laugh, your eyes not leaving his for a moment, “after the race!” 

[haute-pockette]

The Doctor being disabled.

Every incarnation sitting somewhere on the autism spectrum. Their stims and behaviors vary between incarnations.

First doctor with alexithymia. On Gallifrey it was fine, ignored. A "superior race" that prided itself in observation without interference doesn't put too much stalk in compassion. But meeting humans up close with Barbara and Ian started him down a path of learning to put words to his own feelings as well as others.

As his body aged he also developed arthritis. The cane was for mobility as much as it was for style. He learned the hard way that aspirin is not Gallifreyan friendly (he survived the small dose, but it scared the hell out of Susan).

Two with lots of physical stims. All his gestures and wringing his hands, grabbing onto companions.

Dyspraxic Two. Chicken scratch handwriting, stumbling over his words and his feet. He really leans into tactile sensations whether it's the texture of his clothes or holding onto a companion, it was always grounding for him.

Third tended to shut down more than his first two since the constant stress and frustration of exile had him already wound pretty tight. He'll lock himself in the lab and just put himself on autopilot until he recharges enough to deal with whatever shenanigans are happening.

Three has tinnitus that of various sounds including almost like the tardis materialization sound. He often has to look up to check if the Master is showing up to bother him or not.

Four has ADHD alongside with autism. He struggles with constantly running from responsibility and wanting to have some sense of control of situations.

It's one of those snowballs of procrastination causing anxiety which causes him to procrastinate further. Unless it's urgently life threatening, his stress response is freeze.

Five masks and suppresses his emotions in an attempt to blend with neurotypicals more since he's self-conscious of his previous "eccentricity" as Four. It causes a lot of strain between him and Tegan after Earthshock.

Peripheral neuropathy causing muscle weakness in his legs cause of the difficult regeneration. Look how much he falls over and leans on the tardis console, he can't stand straight for long periods of time without aids. Usually has braces, but will use a cane around the tardis (would use the wheelchair but it's dead in the Castrovalva river).

Six gets overstimulated easier than some, especially by noises and textures. Usually that with things not going accordingly tends to set off meltdowns. Ever since he hurt Peri he turns his energy on himself instead.

Bipolar Six. He tends to handle mania better than depression, at least when he has too much energy he knows he can spend it and try to get it out. He'll usually park the tardis somewhere his companion can enjoy and shut himself away in the cloister room or zero room when at the worst of his lows.

Also type 1 diabetic six, regenerating from poison fucked with his metabolism. He is careful to take care of his blood sugar, but he's terrible at remembering to stay hydrated. That's why Mel is always shoving carrot juice at him.

Seven has ADD (yes I know it's technically "ADHD of the predominantly inattentive type" but ADD is easier). ADD as in he's always in his own head, always five points ahead of the conversation. His train of thought is incomprehensible to most, but there is a string of logic to it.

Dyspraxic Seven with an abnormal gait and stance. Bad posture makes him look shorter than he is. Only he can read his own handwriting, which he insists is not as bad as it is.

[froggywritesstuff]

the least judgmental demon in hell | angel dust

ship/pairing: Angel Dust x male!reader (featuring Fat Nuggets)

fandom: Hazbin Hotel

request: Could you possibly do Angel dust x Male!reader? Possibly soft/comfort where Angel dust attempts to comfort the reader after a meltdown or something similar?

warnings: mentions of dead bodies and murder, mentions of harassment towards the reader, mentions of sex, swearing (it's Hazbin Hotel so...), crying, anxiety, feeling overwhelmed, meltdowns, pet names (reader gets called baby multiple times), ooc Angel?, kinda rushed the ending, not entirely proofread 

word count: 1232

A/N: fem readers DNI, Angel Dust is a nwlnw character. I wrote in Fat Nuggets while I was editing so apologies if the writing doesn't flow as much. friendly reminder to not compare trauma :)

Hell isn't the most mental health friendly place to be. Like anyone with common sense, you're not unaware of that, and though not on your own terms, you've gotten used to it. Though it's useless, that doesn't stop you from wishing it was different some days. Wishing that maybe on your walks to the hotel you wouldn't trip over a dead body, or get harassed by other sinners, or witness a violent murder or very graphic sex scene. You were grateful that some days were better than others. However, today was not one of those days. And after an entire week of shitty days, it was too much for you.

You were on the edge of tears when you entered the hotel, ready to have a good cry in your room while hopefully cuddling with your boyfriend, but fate had other plans. More accurately, Charlie had other plans. You never allowed yourself to feel angry with Charlie. After all she had done for you, and all the other hotel patrons, working tirelessly for what seemed like a hopeless cause. However you did allow yourself to feel upset with her bad timing.

Barely a second after you returned to the hotel, she dragged you over to the lounge, rambling about one of her new trust exercises she'd come up with. Normally, Charlie would've been able to sense something was up with you in seconds, but she was clearly driven by her inspiration, too excited to slow down.

Your hands fidgeted together, your legs bouncing up and down as Charlie explained her idea. You tried to pay attention, you truly did. But you could barely even comprehend a word she was saying. Everything was too loud and your head felt like it was gonna explode.

"Hey," you felt a hand on your shoulder and looked up to your side, meeting the black, white and pink eyes of Angel. You calmed slightly at the touch of his hand, and you were able to focus on his voice, "You ok?"

You nodded. You knew he could tell you weren't ok in the slightest. He was more than familiar with faking smiles and bottling up feelings. Luckily for you, he didn't pry, instead choosing to stay close and keep an eye on you, figuring you'd much rather prefer to vent or cry to him in private.

When Charlie finished explaining her idea, she met your eyes and gestured for you to stand. A wave of stress hit you, and you did your best to hide it as you stood up, moving to stand beside her in front of everyone. You tried to focus on what she was telling you, you really did, but the overwhelming tightening in your chest paired with multiple pairs of eyes on you made it impossible. Surprisingly, you felt a million times worse when she stopped talking. You don't think she had stopped talking since you walked in the room, so her silence meant she was expecting you to start talking. 

You looked around the room, your breaths getting shallower with every second. Charlie gently placed her hand on your shoulder, a concerned look on her face. She asked if you were ok, her voice quiet so only you could hear. You don't remember clearly, but you're pretty sure you shook your head before apologising and excusing yourself. Voices called out to you in concern as you sped up the stairs, making your way to your room as quickly as possible.

You closed the door behind you, leaning your back against it and sliding down to the floor. Tears streamed from your eyes while you held your head in your hands, trying to take deep breaths to calm yourself.

A knock sounded at the door, and you quickly wiped your tears away and cleared your throat, "Wh-who is it?"

"It's me." you recognised Angel's voice, his tone quieter than usual, "Can I come in?"

You jumped to your feet and rushed to the door, opening it and pulling Angel in. He was quick to hold you close, wrapping his arms around you, running his hands up and down your back to calm you.

"Just breathe baby," he whispered soothingly, his voice like music to your ears, "You're gonna be ok, I've got you."

Your breathing calmed down after a while, not before Angel lifted you off your feet - rather easily considering his height. He shut the door and gently sat you down on your bed, his hold on you never wavering as he sat beside you.

"You feelin' a little better?"

Shrugging, you pulled out of the hug, nodding your head yes.

Two of Angel's hands cupped your face gently, his thumbs wiping your tears away, while another set of hands rested on your shoulders, rubbing them softly, "You wanna talk about it?"

That would be harder to do than just breathing. You thought you were being over dramatic, getting so upset over small things every sinner goes through. Especially when you were sitting in front of Angel Dust. It's not that you doubted his love for you, but there was a small part in the back of your mind making you think he'd belittle your feelings and tell you that you were getting worked up over nothing.

"I dunno," you shrugged, "It's silly."

"Hey," Angel lifted your head slightly, getting you to meet his eyes, "You don't have to tell me if you don't wanna, but clearly it's not that silly if it's got you cryin'." you stayed quiet, and Angel could tell you were overthinking this, "Baby, you know me. I'll listen to you. I won't judge you for nothin'."

You hesitated, and Angel stood up from the bed, kissing your cheek before he stood to his full height, "Wait here," he said, hurrying out of your room and into the hallways until you couldn't see him anymore. Thankfully, you weren't alone for too long, and he arrived soon after he left, entering your room with Fat Nuggets in his arms.

You lit up at the sight of him, smiling widely when Angel sat back on the bed and placed him in your lap.

"If you're nervous, you can tell him." he pet Fat Nuggets on the head, "He's the least judgmental demon in Hell."

A soft laugh left your lips at his words. Fat Nuggets sat himself down on your lap as you pet him. You looked up at Angel, heart warming at his reassuring smile. Still slightly hesitant, you proceeded to explain everything that led up to your meltdown. And while you mainly directed it at Fat Nuggets, Angel listened intently, giving you his full attention just like he said he would. When you were finished talking, Angel wrapped his arms around you again, pulling you - and Fat Nuggets into a hug.

"Do you feel better now?"

"Yeah..."

"Good. And it's not dumb, baby. When you don't talk about these things, they just add up and get overwhelming. You know you can always talk to me about anything, right?"

You nodded, before resting your head in the crook of his neck, "Thank you, Angel."

“Eh, it was nothin’.” he chuckled softly, before he pulled away from the hug to look you in the eyes, “I love you so much.”

You smiled. Both his words and the caring smile on his face making your heart swell, “I love you too.”

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

Hi there! First of all I just discovered your blog and it helped me understand a lot about autism. I was recently diagnosed and I had maaany questions, and going through your blog gave me some answers. So thank you so much for your dedication! ✨

I was wondering if you could share some stuff about burnouts? I saw the post of the signs of burnouts, but I was wondering if you had information about what are the common causes or how to deal with them?

Have a great day/night!

Hi there,

I found some information in burnout recovery and causes:

Text

Signs

* Lack of motivation (hard to care about goals when everyday life is overwhelming)

* Loss of executive functioning abilities (decision-making, organization, etc.)

* Difficulty with self-care

* Easier to reach overload or meltdown

* Loss of speech, selective mutism

* Lethargy, exhaustion

* Illness, digestive issues

* Memory loss

* Inability to maintain masks or use social skills

* Overall seeming "more autistic" or stereotypical

* May have period of high energy before collapse

causes

* Passing as neurotypical / suppressing autistic traits

* Doing 'too much', too much stress

* Aging: needing more downtime, having less energy

* Changes, good or bad (relationships, jobs, living arrangements, belongings, environment, routines...)

* Sleep deprivation, poor nutrition, dehydration

* Illness

* Sensory or emotional overload

strategies

* Time

* Scheduling breaks, managing spoons

* Leave of absence

* Stimming, sensory diet

* Exercise

* Reassured and supports

* Routines

* Better environment/job/etc.

* Boundaries, saying 'no'

* Dropping the mask/façade

* Solitude

* Absolute quiet

* Creative projects, passions, special interests

* Paying attention to reactions and your body

Here’s another Infograph I found:

Text

Sleep and rest as much as you can. We often need more sleep than allistics and it is especially crucial to meet our need for extra sleep while in burnout.

Reduce your energy expenditure. Within reason, reduce social time and the amount of information you are taking in on a daily basis. This often means saying no, even to things you think you

"want" to do. (ex. re-watch TV rather than start new shows)

Engage in special interests at a comfortable and sustainable level. Rather than doing in-depth research, try decorating your space with posters or objects related to your special interests or watching a TV show related to one of them.

Focus on your hypersensitivities. Use earplugs/ headphones/sunglasses, use dishwashing gloves and a mask while cleaning, wear comfortable clothes, eat safe foods, leave spaces that are too bright, loud, or fragrant.

Stim!! MOVEMENT: dance, rock, tap, flap, stretch, walk, stim toys.

TOUCH: soft fabric, self-massage, play with hair. VISUAL: watch

TV/ movie, kaleidoscope, coloring book, satisfying videos

AUDIO/VOICE music, singing, echolalia. REPETATION/SORTING: solitaire, puzzles, sorting objects, repetitive doodles, counting.

VERY slowly create systers/routines that automate your care needs and implement them very slowly. This can look like visual aids, timers, lists, bullet journols, weekly routines, Expect if to take time and trial and error to get into these habits. Pick I-2 habits or systems to implement at a time, starting with the ones you're most excifed about.

Autistic burnout and Complex PTSD have a lot in common and executive dysfunction often increases during burnout, so resources made for these can be very helpful.

Burnout Recovery

I hope this helps. Thank you for the inbox. I hope you have a wonderful day/night. ♥️

[factual-fantasy]

27 Asks! Thank you!! :DD🦎

@driftwoodmfb

Its simple, Arceus made them! :0 He made Litwicks, Lampents and Chandelures at the same time. The Litwicks ate the Lampent plorts, the Lampents ate the Chandelure plorts, and the Chandelures made more Litwicks! :00 Same goes for every other slime species on the planet.

I actually love your cat so much

I am not familiar with "Six the Musical".. <:0 Sorry!

@quietmakesglark

WAHAHAHGGGG THANKYOU SO MUCH!!!!!😭😭💞💞💞THUIS WAS ALL SOSWEEETT THANTKOYIYUUU!!!💞💞💞🥺🥺💞💞

@glitchhayden (Last ask was in this post)

OHH I see XDDD I kind'a want one-

@abaroo

<XD Yeah, poor Sally.. I was thinking that she doesn't really need to sleep or rest and is always on the go! So early birds like Frank and Howdy are her go to friends. And Julie usually has a fair amount of time and energy to spare for her sister! :))

AAAA THANK YOU SO MUCH!! :DDD IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE MY EDDIE AND WALLY!!!! :}}}}}

🥺💞💞💞 AAAAAAA I'm so glad you like him!!! :}}}}}}

(Referencing this post)

There was a time where Wally had a particularly big meltdown/panic attack over Home watching him. In response Barnaby invited Wally to stay at his house for a few days to see if the different environment helped at all.. which it did.

So nowadays whenever Wally gets really stressed, he crashes at Barnaby's house.. Home doesn't like Barnaby because he keeps taking Wally away from it.. 👁️👁️

But thankfully I don't think Home could really hurt Barnaby.. other than maybe opening a door causing him to stub his toe- <XD

@littlelightfish

👀👀

(Referencing this post)

Man, I always miss one spelling error. 😔

Also thank you! I'm glad you like them! :)))

I put "#do not tag as ship" on all my Welcome Home posts. If people start coming at me for it I'll deal with them.. <XD thank you for the concern though! <:)

@milk-powrit (Referencing this post)

:DD Thank you! And hey- its not necessarily to be mean! Home is not not particularly interested in them because they're just normal neighbors <XD Plus they don't come around often sooo...

@tallchest13-blog

That is the most creature I have ever seen!! :000

@burnt-pie-eater

This Christmas comic and this dream comic are good examples! :0 Seeing himself as his human body with puppet colors. Seeing things or people from his human life..

I'm thinking of making it so any bugs Eddie sees look like real bugs. Weird dark roaches and spiders. Which is why he's scared of them.. 👀👀

@caprico54

Yes yes! :DD When Eddie was human, he was a mailman! So his job as a mailman now is the only thing that feels natural and familiar to him... Which is why he's so unnaturally good at it! :00

@i-only-created-this-to-read

Hmm.. I imagine that the pipes and plumbing are apart of Home. But only in the walls. The pipes the come up from the ground and attach to Home are not apart if it.

I'm thinking if you completely tore Home down and rebuilt it somewhere else, it would flicker to life again. If you split the materials of home between 2 houses, I think only one would actually be alive and "home". It would make sense if one part of Home was where its life came from. But I'm not sure what that would be.. Maybe the fireplace is the heart? Monster house style? <XD

I imagine whatever is apart/meant to be apart of Home is its body. A meteor crashing through wouldn't be part of it <XD And any hanging pictures or furniture is not apart if it. The walls are its bones and the paint becomes its skin. If you tore down a wall that wood stops being apart of Homes body the moment it is detached. If you build a new wall, it might take a moment.. but it will eventually become apart of Homes body.

As for the old rotted wood, I imagine that Wally chopped it up and used it for fire wood :0 The new wood that Wally installed in the walls became Homes new body.

<:( You will find someone new someday friend! There's a lot of bees in the hive!

(Referencing this post)

XDD Naahhh its ok, Grim's just nomin. He wont hurt Sylvester! :)

@taco-hyeh (Sent after this post)

Man, if only my mega Grimace comic didn't turn out to be so giant <XD I would have PLENTY of angst for you!

@kitschie

Home right now can be best described as.. curious.. but also somewhat malicious. It watches Wally and Eddie because its curious about them. But it can clearly tell that watching them causes panic attacks and makes them very upset. Yet it doesn't stop. If anything it watches them more intensely when they cry..

When it comes to if they could figure out what it wants.. its hard to say if Home even really wants anything. It just likes to watch and see the Wally react to its stares... that, an the fact that Home probably cant communicate outside of slamming windows and doors-

@calsoutghosthunting

Oh? I've only seen it from 1 artist, is it becoming a trend? :00

I don't know how I feel about it.. I mean its cool! But I might not draw it with my Sona personally <XD Reminds me of this old Journal drawing trend that I did a long while back.. 🤔

@spirited-splashes

AAAA THANK YOU!!! :DDDD I wish you luck in your journey! :)) AND REMEMBER!! The comfort has to be just as healing as the angst is hurting!! :}}}

(Referencing this post)

If you look closely, the hat is actually just Sylvester's ribbons! XDDD

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not liking my boyfriend's f-ckbuddy and telling my boyfriend it has been immature?

---

My boyfriend [20, it/its] and I [19, it/its] have been together for awhile and have recently hit a rough patch in our relationship because of a lot of IRL stress for both of us.

During October BF got a job at a holiday store and had a crush on its coworker[19, he/him] who i was fine with, until my first legitimate interaction with him. he stole it's phone while they were hooking up (being an SA survivor and witness to other's SA, it was obviously a red flag). It turned out fine, but it triggered a severe mental break for me. I tried interacting with him multiple times after because BF liked him and didn't want any issues... wherein he was a complete dick to me especially when he learned about my personality disorder and ongoing paranoia.

Despite this and my adamant discomfort with CW, they continued to hook up and BF constantly defended CW for his jokes and comments that were directed at me. It's defense of him was "it's his coping mechanism/how he jokes," and basically to give him a break because he's abused. Being an abuse victim myself, I respectfully don't care, he has my empathy but it does not excuse him joking about running me over with his car.

I told BF I was no longer comfortable with the situation and CW as a whole, in which BF agreed not to talk about him... though continued to hook up with him after I told it I was uncomfortable with that, leading to BF cheating.

During Christmas, BF came to visit and was sexting CW in front of me, leading to me having multiple panic attacks and meltdowns which caused fights during BF's whole visit. BF's other partner [19, he/she] called CW out for his being a dick to me, and the topic of immaturity was brought up.

I had told BF that CW was very immature multiple times throughout the whole situation, and discussing with my other loved ones about certain things since October, I had been told BF was being immature.

So, when BF asked if I thought it was immature, I gave it an honest answer. Something along the lines of "Yes, you have been, but everyone does it, and you're mature most other times." This was not the answer BF wanted, so it was upset, but never told me until recently.

Since then, BF and CW have stopped physically hooking up, but not sexting. BF has been very petty and upset with me, bringing up things I said well over a year ago (such as "i don't want affection right now" while I was relapsing s/h) as reasons it's upset with me despite me explaining multiple times.

I still love BF so dearly, despite how shitty it's been recently. I feel like somehow the treatment is justified cause i was in a bad mental state and wasn't able to mask as well. I'm in therapy and improving a lot but the situation is still fresh and getting to me.

What are these acronyms?

[rottenpumpkin13]

I keep hitting you with asks. I'm sorry adskjasdkjlsdkljdsk I've been thinking about the genderbent version of Sephiroth (and it's making my bisexual heart flutter). Do you have any headcanons for AGSZC if they woke up one day as a different gender and how they would handle that?

Angeal: The abrupt switch in gender is unfortunate, but he's not the type to dwell on what can't be changed. He gets up in the morning and makes the most of it, calling his mom for advice and trying his best to make himself look presentable before going "fuck it" and going to work. Oh goddess....he looks weird, doesn't he? That's why people are staring and whispering, and why Zack keeps stuttering and won't look him in the eye, and why Sephiroth and Genesis simultaneously ran into the glass doors when they saw him.

Zack: This is the opportunity of a lifetime for him. He's always wondered what it'd be like to be a girl. Unfortunately he has a heart attack when he goes to the bathroom that morning and sees that something is missing. He spends a good 10 minutes freaking out before he realizes that he's a different gender. This is great! Free stress balls on his chest, and his ass looks great when he does squats. His day is going great until lunch, when he feels a random uterus cramp.

Zack: Oh man...I can't be on my period already, can I?

Cissnei: Hm. It could be lots of things—ovulation, stress, hormonal imbalances, an ovarian cyst, a UTI, many possibilities.

Zack: I should go to the doctor. He'll tell me what's wrong, right?

Zack:

Zack: Why are you laughing?

Genesis: He's someone who's very in touch with his own body and has spent most of his life getting his appearance to a point he's comfortable with. So it's an utter nightmare when he wakes up and he's not in the same body he went to bed in. He's sulking and upset for an hour before he finally makes his peace with it. Come to think....now instead of being the hero, he's the goddess herself! He slips on his old uniform that previously no longer fit, and goes out to cause chaos by flirting with with his friends and seeing how long it takes them to realize that it's him.

Cloud: He's having a rough time. He's aware that it's his body, but it feels wrong to even touch or stare at. He puts on his baggiest uniform and tries to go to work as normal, hating the attention and stares he receives from the other troopers. Someone thinks it's funny to whistle and catcall him. Cloud breaks their nose and attempts murder.

Sephiroth: Has a bit of a meltdown when he looks in the mirror that morning and sees his mother's face staring back at him. Never mind that he's a different gender, he can't keep his hands from his face. Is this what his mother's nose felt like? Her lips? Her jaw, her face? It's as if he's staring at the photograph again. Because of this, he feels oddly comfortable in his new body, and goes about his day as normal.

Zack: Sephiroth! You're a girl!

Sephiroth: How dare you, Zack.

Zack:

Sephiroth: I'm a woman.

[jangofettjamz]

Short And Shy

Tara Carpenter x Autistic!Male!Reader

Summary: You were an inch shorter than Tara and extremely shy. She absolutely adored you for it.

Warnings: Description of autistic meltdown

Requested by: @d-epicplayz1028

Words

3rd person POV

Today was stressful on Y/N, a bad mental health day to be specific. Y/N lived by a simple schedule. He'd wake up, get ready for college, ride to school with his girlfriend, learn and spend the rest of the day with her. This would hardly waver from its course, but he was content with that. However, unfortunate events would impede on that schedule.

Tara and Y/N walked hand in hand down the halls of their college, the glares of students did not go amiss by the couple. They watched them; stared, most of envy, jealousy and the occasional resentment. Not that it bothered them of course, at least not Tara. Y/N wasn't fond of all the attention he was getting.

They found their place in their seats, each offering a warm smile to the other, filling them with a sense of warmth and comfort that only such a loving smile could offer.

Though, that sense of warmth quickly dissipated when one of the jocks and his friends burst through the door with a boom box in hand, blasting loud music that bounced across the lecture hall walls.

Y/N winced as the sound waves from the speakers invaded his ear drums. Tara took notice of the discomfort his face had displayed and moved to cover his ears with her hands, her thumbs moving in circular motions across his temples in an effort to calm him.

The lecturer was too busy reprimanding the boys who had interrupted his class to even notice the couple. He spouted something about having the boys expelled if they attempted a stunt like that again, Tara didn't really care for what he had to say, keeping jer focus solely on her lover.

Y/N began babbling incoherently, a symptom of overstimulation from loud noises. People were starting to look at the two of them and starting to whisper, not helping the situation at all. He could feel all the eyes on him, like the whole world's gaze set itself on him, to mock and belittle him.

He felt as though his throat had closed up, cutting off any potential communication. His senses were in overdrive, the smell of the mahogany chairs he sat on invading his nasal passages. His clothes felt wrong, the material itching his skin, too irritable to go unnoticed. Tara put two and two together, he was gonna have a meltdown.

Tara kept whispering sweets words to her partner "Shh shh shh, it's okay baby. You're okay, my love. Can I hold you? Would you like to be held right now?" The boy nodded desperately, wanting the warm embrace and comfort from her. She wrapped her arms around him, pulling him into her lap and began rocking him, a technique that proved to be quite effective at calming him.

The lecturer finally took notice of the couple and demanded to know why the sound of cries were present. "Ms Carpenter what is going on?" He asked impatiently after having to deal with the jocks.

"Y/N is having a meltdown, may we be excused?" The lecturer nodded, likely not wanting to argue anymore than he had to. Tara picked Y/N up and carried him out of the classroom, his shorter stature allowing this to be possible.

She hurried out of the classroom with him in her arms, ignoring the numerous voices talking about them. Y/N keeps his legs around her waist and his face in her neck while she carries him to her car, weak sniffles are heard by Tara, making her even more mad at the jocks who caused this.

Once they made out of the building Tara sets him down and opens the car door for him, he hastily gets in and shuts the door, stimming to try and regulate himself. Tara takes her place in the drivers seat and holds him for a few more minutes, carding her fingers through his scalp.

"Stupid jocks, aren't they" She says to which he mumbled out a sound in agreement, still unable to verbally communicate properly. "Let's go to my place. Is that okay?" He nodded again, prompting Tara to buckle up and he the same.

- 20 minutes later

Tara turned the key to open the front door to her apartment, it was there they were met with Sam. She was going to greet Y/N, but thought twice when she saw his current state. She went for it anyway "Hey buddy, what happened?" She says expressing deep concern.

He looked to Tara to speak up for him, she got the message and spoke up. "Some asshole and his friends blasted music in our lecture. He got overstimulated so I took him out of there." She explains, he held her hand a little tighter, his head nestled against her chest.

Sam cooed out of sympathy "I'll be in the kitchen if you need me" she says and he smiles at her words which she happily returned.

Tara kept repeating sweet words to him, making him feel safe. Y/N felt the environment around him become warmer with each word that came out of her mouth, comforting him I'm the best way possible. "You're doing so good baby, you're safe now. Nothing can get you here. No stupid jocks, no loud music, just you and me" he felt at home, she felt like his home; a safe space.

She looked down at him, taking note of his features, admiring him. He saw this and his cheeks went beat red. She giggled mischievously, knowing the effect she has on him. She placed a kiss on his forehead and the heat in his cheeks rose to new heights.

Her hands worked his body, one in his hair and one rubbing his back and arms. He kept his hands in his sleeves due to the shyness he was experiencing. Tara kept placing kisses on his head, loving the way he reacts to them.

"Are you feeling a little shy, baby?" He nodded, then yawned, tired from the meltdown earlier. "Shy and tired I see. Wanna take a nap for me?" A part of him wanted to protest, though, he knew that she was right and that he needed rest.

He nodded his head, eyes half open. She took upon herself to carry him to bed, showing her impressive strength despite being 5'1, though he was inch or two smaller than her.

She placed him on her bed, looming over him like a guardian angel. She draped the blanket over his small frame like a protective shield from all the bad things in the world and kissed his forehead with love and passion "Sleep tight, sweet boy. I love you"

And just like that he was out like a light. Tara stayed by his side as he slept, holding his hand knowing her presence alone brings him great comfort.

She was never leaving him. Ever.

[wambsgansshoelaces]

okay so last night i had this horrible bad bad bad no good panic/anxiety attack and like . i went through IT . was really bad , shaking so hard my teeth clattered , barely breathing , etc . so maybe could I get succession characters helping a so who has a panic/anxiety attack and grounding them? tysm 💐

~ 🦈

I’m really sorry that happened to you anon :( I hope you’re feeling much much better now!!! If you ever need to talk, you got me <3 I love u thank u for requesting, enjoy xx

panic attack (succession main cast)

Kendall

ᝰ he’s obviously had his fair share of panic attacks

ᝰ while he’s not really sure what’ll work for you specifically, he does his best to do things he wishes people did for him when he’d have attacks

ᝰ he has a few tricks up his sleeve, anyway

ᝰ when he first realizes you’re having one, he gets an ice cube

ᝰ and tells you to put it in your mouth and just leave it there

ᝰ “it helps your brain distract itself from its own meltdown,” he tells you softly

ᝰ all the while stroking your hair, your cheeks, your brow, whatever he can tell soothes you the most

ᝰ you suck on the ice cube until it melts

ᝰ and surprisingly enough, you’ve calmed down

ᝰ yes you’re still extremely anxious, but your breathing’s been regulated, your heart rate back to normal

ᝰ kendall coaxes you into a cuddle on the couch

ᝰhis fingers run through your hair over and over

ᝰ he’s just trying to bring you down from that bad high

ᝰ and he’s doing well

ᝰ he murmurs soft words to you

ᝰ and tries to get to the root of the issue

ᝰ “what caused all this, do you know?”

ᝰ you don’t have an answer

ᝰ but that’s okay

ᝰ he’ll take care of you regardless

ᝰ because you mean the world to him

ᝰ and if he can do anything to make you happy, he’ll do it

ᝰ you make him the happiest man to walk the earth

Roman

ᝰ is also a panic attack veteran

ᝰ kind of freezes the first time you have one in front of him

ᝰ but he snaps out of it immediately

ᝰ makes you lay down in bed while he runs to the bathroom

ᝰ he comes back with a cool washcloth and slaps it onto your face

ᝰ “roman!”

ᝰ “sorry, i didn’t think it’d go so hard!”

ᝰ you laugh

ᝰ but like you’re still having a panic attack

ᝰ he’s sat next to you, and rubs gentle circles into your cheeks and forehead with the washcloth

ᝰ the cool water helps soothe you as it seeps into your skin

ᝰ you calm down

ᝰ you’ve exhausted yourself

ᝰ once roman’s sure you’re not stressing the fuck out, he takes the washcloth and sets it on his side table

ᝰ he lays down with you and pulls you close to him

ᝰ “i’m tired, and i won’t be able to sleep unless you take a nap with me,” he states

ᝰ he sets your head on his chest

ᝰ and peppers kisses over your scalp

ᝰ he’s not even a little bit tired

ᝰ he just wants you to sleep and reset

ᝰ cheek smushed into his pec, you doze off

ᝰ he’s so happy, just having you here with him

ᝰ you’re safe when you’re with him

ᝰ and he’s safe when he’s with you

ᝰ he’s so warm and cuddly with you

ᝰ and you love it

Shiv

ᝰ if she’s ever had a panic attack, she’s never let you see it

ᝰ or anyone

ᝰ but when you have one in front of her, she can’t just let it happen

ᝰ she takes your face in her hands and makes you breathe

ᝰ “you’re going to do it just like me, okay?” she asks softly, eyes searching yours

ᝰ helps you box breathe

ᝰ “four cycles, babe, come on,” she encourages

ᝰ in four, hold four, out four, hold four

ᝰ “that’s it. you’re doing so well,” she coos

ᝰ within minutes she has you back to normal

ᝰ you don’t say anything, just hug her tight with your chin set on her shoulder

ᝰ “wanna talk about it?” she asks

ᝰ she’s there whether you do or you don’t

ᝰ if you do, she sits, she listens, and she does her absolute best to help

ᝰ and even if she can’t solve the issue itself, she’ll do everything in her power to make you feel better

ᝰ she goes out a bit later, not telling you where she’s going

ᝰ she returns with a banana split from dairy queen

ᝰ you share it, you perched on the kitchen counter, her standing in front of you

ᝰ your legs tangle together as you eat

ᝰ you end up getting a bit of whipped cream on the corner of your mouth

ᝰ“you’re so messy,” she says lightheartedly

ᝰ“what? look who’s talking,” you say back, wiping ice cream from her chin

ᝰ“i don’t know how that got there,” she mutters

ᝰ she lets you have the cherry

ᝰ she knows you love it

ᝰ but she loves it too

ᝰ so she kisses you, savoring the taste of the cherry

ᝰ but mostly just the taste of you

Tom

ᝰ well read wambsgans strikes again

ᝰ he realizes you have a panic attack oncoming and sits you down in a chair

ᝰ he keeps a hand on your shoulder and quietly talks you through it

ᝰ when your breathing begins to get erratic, he begins asking you questions so that you ground yourself

ᝰ “can you name three objects you can see in the kitchen?”

ᝰ “i, ah, the blender, the, um, coffee machine, and that stupid looking mug of yours,” you manage, referring to his ‘world’s best grandma’ mug he’d gotten in a white elephant thing at work

ᝰ “there you are. how about three things you smell?”

ᝰ he’s smiling softly at you, hand now pushing back hair from your face

ᝰ you inhale deeply, grounding yourself

ᝰ just as he’d intended

ᝰ “your cologne… i still kind of smell dinner? and…”

ᝰ at a loss, you lean forward and sniff

ᝰ “…laundry detergent,” you say after giving his shirt a sniff

ᝰ “you’re a cheater,” he says, despite his smile

ᝰ “oh, well,” you reply, smiling up at him

ᝰ he kisses your forehead

ᝰ “want to move to bed?” he asks

ᝰ “please.”

ᝰ before you know it, the two of you are curled together, the blankets and duvets bringing you comfort

ᝰ he brings you comfort

ᝰ he’s scratching gently at the nape of your neck, your head pressed into the crook of his

ᝰ you press lazy kisses to the skin under your mouth

ᝰ you fall asleep, a tangle of limbs, the sheets warm with affection

Greg

ᝰ lowkey is also having a panic attack

ᝰ but not really

ᝰ he pulls himself together for you

ᝰ he’s not really sure what to do

ᝰ so he googles it

ᝰ “hey, hey. close your eyes, and, uh, i’ll count to five, and you’ll breathe in through your nose, okay?”

ᝰ not really sure what this’ll do for you, but trusting him, you oblige him

ᝰ “exhale through your mouth, now.”

ᝰ after a few cycles, you’re feeling a bit better

ᝰ you’re still anxious, but it’s not suffocating you anymore

ᝰ “go sit, i’ll get ice cream,” he tells you

ᝰ when he comes back to sit next to you on the couch, he has a pint of your favorite ice cream in his hands and two spoons

ᝰ his arm goes around you and gives your shoulder a gentle squeeze

ᝰ the two of you end up finishing the pint

ᝰ he talks about everything to take your mind off of whatever it was that was stressing you out

ᝰ eventually, your brow isn’t furrowed, your features aren’t tense

ᝰ he kisses your cheeks

ᝰ “are you feeling good? better, at least?”

ᝰ you are

ᝰ you’re finally at peace again

ᝰ you spend the rest of the night watching a favorite show of greg’s

ᝰ you love sitting there listening to him talk about why he enjoys it so much

ᝰ he tells you that he’ll enjoy it better when you watch it with him

ᝰ because the first time around, all he could think of was you and whether you would like it

ᝰ you’re all that’s on his mind

ᝰ ever

Stewy

ᝰ this man is a masterclass in calm

ᝰ “hey, baby, take a breath,” he tells you, one hand brace on your stomach, the other on the small of your back

ᝰ when you clearly do not take a good breath, he changes tactics

ᝰ the hand on your stomach moves to take your own hand

ᝰ the one on your back begins rubbing in circles

ᝰ “i really want to go on a walk,” he tells you, “and i really, really, want you to come with me.”

ᝰ you know he’s lying

ᝰ but you go with him anyway

ᝰ the fresh air helps you

ᝰ and just moving around helps clear your head

ᝰ eventually, you’ve calmed down a bit

ᝰ your breath is still stuttering and tears are welling in your eyes

ᝰ stewy still has your fingers intertwined with his

ᝰ his eyes never leave your face

ᝰ he reaches over and thumbs away your tears

ᝰ “you know, i think we’re on time to watch the sun set,” he tells you, eyes twinkling

ᝰ you end up at a nearby park

ᝰ he pulls you onto a bench overlooking empty meadows

ᝰ his arm loops around you and he lets you lean against him

ᝰ your arms wind around his wast, your fingers fiddling with his belt loop

ᝰ he dots kisses all over your head as the sky melts into pinks and oranges

ᝰ “so gorgeous,” you whisper, the colors blending and swirling together before your eyes

ᝰ “not as much as you,” he murmurs back

ᝰ “cheese ball,” you say happily

ᝰ “you know you love me.”

ᝰ “i do. very much.”

[i-cant-sing]

It's been a while since I've talked about RE8 and I'm just thinking about reader from my Yandere RE8 AU who is now living with the Lords after Ethan left her behind in the village, and I just know this poor baby is STRESSED. Like to the point that she can't argue without crying.

She's getting yelled at? She's crying.

Someone else is getting yelled at? She's crying.

She tries escaping the Lords and they bring her back and tell her that it's better for her to stay in the village with her "found family" than return to her real family who don't give a shit about her and reader is just standing there with furrowed brows and quivering lips, tears falling down as she weakly argues "N-No! You- you guys are *hiccups* wrong. I- they still love- I don't need anyone to take care of me!" And then proceeds to break down in front of them, causing Alcina to pick you up by your armpits like a little kitten and hugging you to her chest (u almost suffocate to death).

I just know that Heisenberg is the most awkward when you cry in front of him. He doesn't know how to comfort you, he's always had to bottle up his sad emotions, but he can't tell u to that! So... he's building some dancing soldets for you, or better yet, allows Handsome to dress like a stripper and twerk because that always seemed to make you laugh (it didn't, the hash brownies did).

As for Chria and Leon, oh my- their hearts just absolutely breat at the sight of you. But they know that they can't just let you cry your way into danger. So, they very lovingly and calmly tell you that they understand that this is frustrating but they can't just let you return to your horrible parents just because they're "blood". They could be your family too, and they swear to treat you better than anyone ever has. They slowly pull you back inside their safe house, Chris goes to make you some hot chocolate (with melatonin gummies mixed in) while Leon is just huddling on the couch with you, whispering affirmations as he watches you try to not have a meltdown.

[drdemonprince]

Can we really expand our window of tolerance as autistic people? I’ve been working on that kind of thing for so long and I can’t tell if I’ve made any genuine progress or if I’ve just unconsciously doubled down on masking :(

We can! But our expanded distress tolerance can't come out of nowhere. Something has to give. So for example, for me, I have way fewer sensory issues these days than I used to have, by a wide margin, and I have significantly less social anxiety and don't need much social recharge time on the level that I used to. I have more distress tolerance for sensory input and for social stressors now than I ever have before -- but this has required lifestyle changes and unmasking in order to get there. Let me break down both these improvements and how they happened:

Even as recently as a year ago, I would have terrible sensory meltdowns on a regular basis. But I haven't had a single sensory meltdown in months, maybe not even a single one for the entirety of 2023 so far? And that's because I have a) cut out caffeine, dramatically reducing my physiological stress levels, b) cut back on some workplace stress by reducing my commitments, c) stopped taking on additional projects outside of work that I didn't want to do and that only caused me stress (workshops and talks), and d) began working from home far more consistently, and made myself a wfh office that is more comfortable.

Now I operate from a really solid base of sensory comfort most days and I'm not overloaded with information or overwhelmed with obligations. This means I am far more tolerant of screaming people on the bus, the upstairs toddler slamming her feet on the floor, ambulances blaring by, noisy concerts, people bumping into me at the bar, etc.

I also am, for the first time in my life, clear-headed enough to recognize when I am starting to experience sensory distress, and can intentionally put on sunglasses or pop in ear plugs or remove myself from an upsetting situation more quickly. I had to experience what being relaxed and not overstimulated felt like, and get accustomed to living that way, in order to recognize subtler signs that I was feeling shitty and take steps to address those small annoyances before they exploded. I can handle a lot "more" in an intentional way now because I built my life to allow "less." My overall distress tolerance has still expanded -- but it's because I stopped masking and began attending to my sensory and stress regulation needs.

For the social piece, my distress tolerance has also gone up due to unmasking. If I was still motivated by passing as NT or being socially acceptable all the time, I'd be so overwhelmed being around people and worn down by every interaction. I also wouldnt be able to advocate for myself. But in the past few years I've become more and more openly weird and outspoken in my needs and true feelings, and I've recognized that the right people actually love me more when I do so and show up for me, and so being honest or even difficult to deal with is not really a threat.

This means I just don't experience much distress being honest or difficult to deal with anymore. I really can tolerate the discomfort of telling someone they're wrong or that I'm hurt without freaking out about being hurt or abandoned, because I've had a lot of good experiences with it and because I enjoy being unmasked so deeply that I just can't put my personality back in a bottle.

Masking lowers distress tolerance because it frays your nerves with stress and wears you out and bars you from ever getting to attend to and regulate your discomfort when there are signs of it happening. In order to increase your distress tolerance, you actually have to learn to better honor your discomfort early, and preventatively, so that you don't bubble over into a meltdown after days or weeks of ignoring your needs.

I think some people think distress tolerance is about becoming more tough, but it's quite the opposite. We become more resilient by getting better at recognizing and attending to our hurts.

[shinjisdone]

If it's possible can I get a f!mc with Riddle? As in the events like how you did with deuce. Take your time.

Choosing this one first since Ive been dealing with quite a few things recently and this is the easiest one for me.

The Thorfinn one is gonna be next

Excellent cuz I actually thought about making a Riddle Version ^^

Might have gone overboard so pls treat this as another part of the female!MC and friends series and as a request ^^

tried to focus on the 'female!MC' part but lotsa things ended up pretty neutral...

TW: Mentions of Riddle's strict diet introduced by his mother and his hesitancy to eat food as well as counting calories in the 'When He Cooks For You...' Part

Female!MC and Friends - Riddle Rosehearts

Oh, the upright and feared Riddle Rosehearts.

Let's not talk about his first meeting and overblot 'cause there he was just c r a zy.

It's after a while after things and he have calmed down where he can even approach you and properly 'meet' you for the first time. Riddle cannot believe how careless he was that he noticed only just now that you are a girl in an all-boys-academy - the only one here probably as well.

His first thought was: 'This breaks a rule.'

But he is quick to scold and correct himself. This kind of thinking earned him the most embarrassing and stressful meltdown he has ever experienced. Clearly no one got out happy with this kind of thinking.

Not Riddle. Not his dorm. Maybe only his mother...

In secret, there were some rules he didn't like...

He likes to have milk in his tea. He likes chestnuts in his sweets...and he would like to have free time to spend with his friends...

He is sure you would like to have that, too.

When You Are Invited To The Unbirthday Party...

Well, this most likely happens after the overblot, as an apology.

It is also the first Unbirthady Party you have been invited to.

It will most likely go as it did in the game...and Riddle is apologizing to you too, since you got dragged into his mess as a bystander.

As a new student! You just got here at NRC and have had to deal with his mess, his problems.

You also helped Ace make the 'apology' nut tart...so you definitely deserve an apology.

There might be a bit of confusion within the normal Heartslabyul dormmates who do not know you...they might also notice that you are a girl.

There might be a few whispers in a group on what you are doing here. It can be hard to notice if someone is magicless on first glance but it can be easy to notice a girl, if you present yourself as such in a way.

There is a sliiiiight chance you are gonna get asked about or talked to about this. If there are some negative claims or responses to you being at NRC or at the party, Riddle will be sure to correct them quickly.

"Do not disregard anyone here! She is still a guest!"

Riddle will go back to his old habit and the students will nervously ask if that is a rule.

"No, not a rule," He softens his voice, "It goes without saying that no one shall be misjudged or disregarded, no matter who they are!"

Continuing his apology, he will treat everyone for a bit. He will ask what tea you like (you can have any tea, no matter the rule!) and if you'd like to play with the hedgehogs (he can turn a blind eye for that one today).

You can take advantage of it like Ace totally did/would. Or you could be considerate of his...weird overblot situation.

At the former he will be annoyed but allow it ONLY FOR TODAY, and for the second one, he will be perplexed but decides, yeah, he should gracefully accept your kindness.

Riddle will make sure to treat you equally, in and out of Heartslabyul.

But, if he finds himself fond of you, favoritism might follow...

When He Cooks For You...

Cooking is...hard.

Riddle truly wants to improve. If he likes you, he could try cooking for you to taste-test his dishes. He doesn't wanna go through the oyster-sauce-situation again...

Depending on your own skills, he might ask for a liiiittle bit of help. What is this spice? How much is a 'spoonful'? What do they mean when they say 'cook with love'?

You will quickly find out that he is a terrible cook. You could be a chef or someone who wouldn't be able to cook to save your own life, but at least you'd still be better than Riddle.

So when he starts asking these small questions...you can expect to give him full on lessons.

He...feels weird being taught by another student but grows to appreaciate it. He will remember your instructions and use them wisely (as he literally states after each explanation) so you can expect a delicious dish!

Nothing is perfect at the beginning but the more he tries, and the more he learns from you (or Trey), the better he gets at it! He lets you try it and once he has made something actually tasty, he will be quite proud!

He never knew how nice it is to see someone enjoy the meals you make...especially with a smile such as yours.

He might make more for you - just for fun and not to learn. Just for you...

B-But as th-thanks, of course! For what other reason could it be?!

If YOU make HIM something, he will be...confused...then realizes...and then feels touched...and then confused again.

You...made him a meal? Just like that? Why?

When he does it for you, he does not question anything. But here the roles are reversed and it's strange to him...

Riddle hesitates a little. This meal was not planned for today and he might not follow exactly as his mother intended his diet to be...but you made this for him.

He eats it...and no matter the taste, he will thank you. Eating slowly as he digests (literally and figuratively) this gesture of yours.

No one has ever done this for him. It was all his mother, who noted down the calories instead of thinking if he'll actually enjoy the dish or not.

If you make him a STRAWBERRY T A R T oooooh man, expect some silence.

Riddle is. So. confused. But. In a good way.

But also in. A. Perplexing way.

You...you did this to please him, right? To make him happy?

There cannot be any other explanation as to why.

Out of every little thing, you decided to make him his favorite food...he will stare at it in awe...and actually ponder if he is even allowed to eat it.

One, because of old habits. Two, because it looks so nice. And you baked it for him.

You went out of your way to get the ingredients, wash and cut the strawberries, knet the doe, put in the oven...

He calls out to you midway and will mutter with a flustered face that he will gladly eat it. Would you...like to accompany him? It could be like an small, unofficial, Unbrithday Party...a private one.

Riddle feels so weird eating the tart. Its great and he loves it...but it's not from a bakery, it's not made by Trey for everyone - it was made by you; For him.

Riddle will thank you with flushed cheeks.

When He...Proposes To A Ghost!?

Oh boy. Ghost wedding, huh?

Well, strange and weird, but nothing Riddle cannot manage!

It is fake-proposing anyway and he was to a lot of parties when he was younger. Perhaps he even witnessed a proposal in one of them!

Safe to say, someone as gentleman-ly and sophisticated as Riddle has a high chance of winning a bride's heart - even if it doesn't beat anymore.

Riddle prepares himself perfectly and has the confidence to suit it to. He doesn't believe he is flawless but knows that his attempt will at least help get Idia out of there.

You could aid him though he doesn't think he needs the help.

But if you want to propose to Eliza as well? Certainly you know that makes you two…uh…rivals?

He doesn't like the thought of that even if it is just fake proposing.

To impress the bride you must wear something formal. No matter if suit or dress, Riddle will feel flustered seeing you like this.

If you wear a suit, expect him to scrutinize you. He is very familiar with wearing suits and look at that, your tie is crooked again! Is the jacket even ironed? And those colors don't align…

He will fix every little thing until you're presentable. This just won't do, you know?

Might realize later that he helped you have a better chance at getting the bride? That's bad. RIDDLE is supposed to be the groom for one. And second…he…doesn't want you to become her wife.

If you wear a dress however, Riddle will definitely feel flustered. He doesn't know much about how dresses are 'properly' worn…and you look nice in it, too.

Are you sure you want to compete in general actually? Riddle got this, you know? You don't need to put yourself out there!

The thought of you winning and becoming a bride yourself? Its…so unpleasant.

Will keep telling you to not worry about this. Don't participate…Riddle is the dormhead and he can take care of this. You can help him if you want…

Or maybe dont. Because rehearsing his proposal and gifting you a bouquet of RED ROSES (he knows they mean true love!) And looking at you with one knee while YOU DRESSED LIKE A BRIDE IS

ITS NOT OKAY HE DECIDED.

NOPE DONT HELP HIM! IN FACT, DONT BE HERE AT ALL, RIDDLE WILL TAKE CARE OF THIS!

DONT HELP HIM OUT AND DONT BE ANYONE'S BRIDE! JUST;;;STAY OUTTA THIS!

OH? HE SAID HED TEACH YOU HOW TO DANCE AT A WEDDING?

YOU KNOW HE SEEMS TO NOT RECALL THIS ANYMORE

Before all of this, he would have gladly taught you…but here, he finds himself too flustered to do it. His eyes barely make contact to yours as he sways you in a waltz and even HE starts to make mistakes.

Perhaps he'll show you another time, yeah?

When You Are Stranded On An Island Together...

Wh-what is this? First he's staring into a book and now here he is with you on a beach?! With a...strange, blue creature...

Suddenly being stranded on an island can already be a stressful situation for anyone but for Riddle, it is outrageous. There are no rules, no etiquette, no order...and they left the campus without saying! Sure, it was in accident and sudden and through magical means, but still!

But well...if you two are already here (with that Stitch thing), might as well try to make most of this situation.

Riddle will be a bit at loss when making a cot or a tool or anything like that...but he will get the hang of it eventually. Magic still exists in any case of emergency.

Not being able to freely follow the rules of the Queen of Hearts (how ironic), leaves him a bit anxious and he WILL ALWAYS try his best to follow them. However, he realizes the situation he is in and will not be hard on himself when he cannot do so well or perfectly.

He also would not expect you to follow the rules (maybe Ace though).

Riddle is not used to the beach or vacation itself. Since he is so used to rules and etiquette, you might have to show him how to relax. Swimming, building sand castles, collecting sea shells...anything really.

It's strange...but nice. He slowly finds enjoyment in simply doing unproductive things.

With such casual and revealing clothes, he might feel a bit unsure. Though, well, this is proper 'clothing' for a vacation so...

The dormhead might look for you for any direction on how to...'properly' wear vacation clothes. But! If you were to wear revealing clothing fitting for the beach or heat as well (let alone a *gasp* swimwear or a bikini!) Riddle will turn a bright red. What are you doing wearing that?! No, wait...you're doing it correctly, right?It's fitting for a beach...sorry then...but he will still be as red as a goldfish (in Floyd's words) just not out of rage this time. He's flustered seeing you like this.

It doesn't help that you get into the water...

In a swimwear obviously all of your....feminine ways are showing! (In his words. He just doesn't have the gall to say it outright). Don't you...? He means doesn't this...?

Ugh. He gives up. Too embarrassed to communicate his thoughts and Ace is laughing at him.

Yet...this might be a good opportunity to try out this 'relaxing' with you...

When You Dance At A Masquerade...

An activity Riddle is quite familiar with!

It is an honor to be invited by Noble Bell College, so as a dormleader Riddle will do his utmost to leave an perfect impression from beginning to end.

He will be quite sociable and set his 'rule above all'-mindset aside. He is a guest after all.

You will find yourself asked for a dance by him. He is quite confident in his dancing skills and, regarding the ghost wedding (and Helloween if you partook in it with him), this isn't the first time you have danced together, so there isn't really a reason for Riddle to be nervous.

Even if it was the first time, he'd still assure you that he will show you the ropes.

If you are knowledgable in it yourself, he will expect a good perfomance. Especially if he was the one who taught you.

Riddle quite likes the aesthatic of the masquerade. It has such an mysterious vibe to it and he admits to himself that you seem quite charming and intruiging with that mysterious mask on.

Even if he knows that it's you.

Will act a bit more playful and like a 'prince from far, far away' as he asks you for 'the honor of a dance'. If you laugh and oblige with a bit of playfulness yourself, you scored 100 points.

No matter what you wear, Riddle will compliment your get-up. Do compliment his as well. In fact, it suits him and his personality perfectly! With how sophisticated Riddle is, nobody else could pull off the entire 'masked-prince' aesthatic!

He will blush and clear his throat. Although he will agree with you.

Would truly like to have your first dance but if he does not get the chance, he won't complain. But he will be sure to be on look-out for you to get at least one dance.

If you are??? Very much enjoying the dancing??? With giggles and laughter??? OH man, he doesn't know what to do.

On one hand, he tries really hard not to scold you. This isn't proper etiquette for dancing, you aren't supposed to have f u n. You have to be graceful and impressive and elegant and...

But on the other hand...you have so much fun. You're like a shining sunflower princess blooming amidst these other flowers as if you had seen the sunlight for the first time...he cannot take that fun away from you.

Uh-oh, did he just really think that?

Though his face is blooming just as much in red, he keeps his mouth shut and twirls you as much as you like.

It's nice seeing you enjoy yourself so much. Riddle enjoys himself too.

Yet besides the dancing, he doesn't know what else to do...seems like he does not need to uphold a reputation all the time through the festivity, so he will seek you out for some guidance but also because he enjoys your company.

If you ask him out of curiousity and fun what it means to have 'proper ballroom etiquette', he will gladly tell you but be confused that you might find it fun? He certainly didn't as a kid.

If you, again, play around like some kind of noble or princess, he is biting his tongue. You are just playing around...and it's just for tonight. As long as you don't embarass yourself (or him) then...be as much of a princess as you want.

Ah, to have some tea and dance all night...it would be nice.

Only if you were there though.

[howtocareforbunnyboys]

Communicating with smalls who can't speak right now

To clarify: this post is written for carers of age regressors who experience temporary loss of speech from time to time. My small one sometimes regresses too small to speak, and when he's big, overstimulation can also cause a verbal shutdown.

This post is written by an autistic person with autistic friends, family, and an autistic partner, but it is not about nonverbal autistic people. I'm not nonverbal, and neither are any of my close friends or family members, so I lack the adequate experience to know how to accommodate someone who does not process words the same way as someone who can verbalize.

Outline:

What to ask? (Help for how to proceed, written with non-autistic carers in mind)

Leeloo AAC app (method)

Option chart (method)

Sign language (method)

Understanding sensory management

🌷 🪻 🌻 🪻 🌷

What to ask: (Autistic triage, lol)

If your small one is overstimulated, then the first step is to determine what is causing irritation.

"Are you overstimulated?" Can work for older kids, but "is everything too much?" May work better for younger regressors. Similarly, "is everything too quiet?" Is a great way to ask if they're understimulated.

"Do you know what the problem is?" Opens the door for them to point to the problem, cover their eyes/ears, or tug on their clothes.

If they answer no, start removing stimuli and asking if it's better. E.g., dim the light and ask "is it better with the light low?" If they indicate yes, repeat question 1. If they indicate no, ask if they want the light back up.

If there's still a problem and it's not external, it's probably an internal stimulus. They may be hungry, thirsty, or need to use the restroom. They may need to switch positions, stretch their limbs, or treat a minor injury. They may feel nauseated, have dry eyes, or need a shower. Interoception can be really hard for autistic people, and any of these stimuli can register as just pain, distress, discomfort, or overstimulation, without a clear source.

I know the options for possible sources for overstimulation is seemingly endless, and being asked questions can itself be overstimulating. You can reduce this problem by identifying for yourself the most likely triggers. For example, if your small just had a meal 20 minutes ago, then hunger probably isn't the culprit. If the noise level in the room (and coming in from the doors and windows) is already low, that's probably not the main problem.

You can also ask some questions silently, by offering them helpful objects (noise-canceling headphones, fidget toys, their phone, blankets, plushies, beverages, etc.)

Lastly, it's important to know that when overstimulation leads to a shutdown or meltdown, it's rarely due to one cause. It's because there's just too much going on all at once. It's not "the light is too bright," it's "the light is too bright, my clothes are uncomfortable, there is a small beeping noise, I'm getting a headache, and I'm carrying stress from events that happened earlier today."

Because it's a cumulative effect, removing some of the irritants (and adding soothing stimuli) can be enough to start to return the person to baseline.

As they approach baseline, they'll be able to think better, and may start to be able to identify problems on their own. For example, when the sharpest lights and noises are blocked and their body is at the right temperature, they may be able to identify "oh, I'm thirsty!" and request a beverage (with gestures, writing, typing, etc).

As they approach baseline, they may be able to verbalize again, or they may still need a break from speaking. The process of your body moving from a high-stress state to a low-stress state takes time. Your body has to filter out all those stress hormones, and build back up the feel-good hormones.

It can be that nothing is actively wrong anymore at that exact moment, but they need some quiet time with their favorite media to rest and recover.

🌷 🪻 🌻 🪻 🌷

Leeloo AAC

If they can still type, the app Leeloo is a free, albeit limited, AAC program.

[Link to Leeloo AAC via Google Play]

Pros:

Mostly free

Can read aloud what you type (TTS)

Has pre-programmed words with pictures in some categories

Cute aesthetic geared towards children

Cons:

Can't add your own words and pictures

Some categories are behind a paywall

Can't record your own pronunciations

For regressors who are old enough to type, this is a great resource.

For regressors who are younger, the limited number of programmed images & words may be a problem.

🌷 🪻 🌻 🪻 🌷

Option chart

The above image shows two ways to show your small options, which they can select through pointing or placing their hand on top of the desired option.

Above the orange line is for yes/no questions. I find that when Bunny is too overstimulated to speak, his needs are often too complex to put into a simple nod or head shake, so an "other" option is essential.

Placing "other" in the center also allows him to point between two options to indicate "yes, but I need accommodations" or "this is similar to what I need, but not quite".

Below the orange line are 3 symbols 🤎🏵⭐️. The specific symbols used don't really matter; I just drew a heart, a flower, and a star because they're simple shapes every kid has seen a thousand times, so it's not difficult visual stimuli for the small one to process.

While you draw the symbols, you explain to them what the options are. After the first question, you can either turn the page to make new symbols, or you can reset the meaning of the same symbols.

If the regressor struggles with resetting the meaning, but you don't want to draw a new set every time, then try just drawing 2-3 sets and switching sets between questions.

You can also place 3 toys in front of the regressor for them to grasp, if they don't respond as well to requests for pointing. This method is excellent for very, very young regressors that struggle to read.

Accommodations for blind / visually impaired regressors :

You can still use the option chart method, of course. You can guide their hand to 3 different, familiar objects, or verbally inform them what you're placing in front of them. It's important that the objects are very different, so they can find and pick up (for example) the cold, metallic spoon, or soft plushie, or smooth stone without confusion.

If you have permission to touch their body, you can assign meaning to different body parts, e.g. right shoulder for yes, left shoulder for no, knee for "maybe/kinda", top of head for "I don't know".

I specify "if you have permission to touch" because verbally indicating body parts will involve the possible factor of right/left confusion. A regressed person may temporarily lose the ability to tell right from left, but if you touch each shoulder, they're likely to be able to remember which shoulder means "yes" and which means "no".

🌷 🪻 🌻 🪻 🌷

Sign Language

I don't think I need to explain this one.

Pros:

Gain the ability to communicate better with more people in your local Deaf community

Gain the ability to communicate with noise-canceling headphones on, thereby reducing your level of auditory stimulation 🎧

Can listen to music and talk at the same time 🎶

Can talk in libraries 📚

Can talk in loud places like buses and trains without wanting to fly out of your skin. 🚌 🚂

Gain the security of knowing that as you age, if you start to lose your hearing, you'll still be able to communicate. 👵🧓👴

Cons:

For many reasons, it's best to learn directly from a Deaf teacher, and that costs money. If you have $10 USD spare per week and access to reliable transportation, you can probably join a beginner class held by your local Deaf resource center without any issues, but not everyone has those things. There are also courses held online, but please try to find one that teaches your regional sign language. (Learning ASL with a San Francisco accent when you live in NYC is perhaps a bit odd, but not as bad as learning sign language from a whole different country.)

It takes a lot of time to learn another language, so you'll still need a different method in the meantime.

🌷 🪻 🌻 🪻 🌷

Understanding sensory management

This is probably obvious, but when you're autistic, a great deal of effort goes into curating your sensory input. Speaking as a city-dweller, we live in a loud, stinky, bright, ugly, stressful, uncomfortable world, and we can't change that.

Arranging your schedule/routine to include regular bursts of comfort and happiness, and reducing irritants where possible, is necessary self-care for an autistic person. Disruption to these processes is distressing because we really rely on these skills to manage the uncomfortable world.

[Example] : "I always watch ____ and eat ____ on my lunch break." = Going out to lunch with a friendly coworker will mean giving up my restful time, adding a whole lot of unanticipated stressors, and require conversation during a vital time I use for quiet relaxation. This is how I get through my work day.

[Example] : "I only eat this brand of [food item] and wear [specific clothing type/brand/fabric]. I am upset if this is unavailable." = I know what feels good in my mouth and tastes good, and I know what feels good on my body. Eating/drinking these things gives me a reliable burst of comfort and happiness. Wearing these things gives me a steady stream of reliable comfort/happiness throughout the day.

You can probably think of a point in your life when you were going through a difficult, emotional time, and you were taking things day by day, hour by hour. You got through work 15 minutes at a time, counting down til your next break. You spent your break doing something comforting. Maybe you avoided watching the news and avoided stressful family members.

You probably felt more irritable than usual when the grocery store radio plays a song you dislike, or your shopping cart has a squeaky wheel, or your watchband keeps catching on your arm hair, or the cashier looks like they're judging the nutritional content of your purchases and is considering making a bad joke. Normally, you'd filter out these mundane annoyances, but now they set your teeth on edge.

Maybe there was only one thing you looked forward to each day, like a little oasis. And if something went wrong with that precious thing, then everything you've been trying to keep inside would come spilling out in jagged breaths and hot tears spilling down your red, embarrassed face.

Recalling all this, you might notice that during those difficult, emotional times, non-autistic people use the same skills as we do --- limit stressors, and increase opportunities for comfort and happiness.

You do this naturally for others, already!

When your loved one is in mourning, what do you do for them? You limit stressors (clean their house, do their laundry, run errands for them, etc). You increase their comfort and happiness (give them gifts, make them their favorite foods, take them out to see their favorite sports team/movie franchise, etc).

Why does grieving require similar skills to daily life with autism, even though being autistic can be a joyful experience?

Autistic brains interpret sensory information differently than allistic (non-autistic) brains. We struggle to filter out unimportant stimuli, and we notice fine details, which means there is a LOT of stimuli. We just experience a "louder" external world than allistic people do.

When allistic people are in a heightened emotional state, they temporarily lose the capacity to filter out stimuli. This means that, for a time, they're experiencing a very loud internal world (from the heightened emotion) and a louder than usual external world all at the same time.

So when your autistic loved one freaks out about something you interpret as unimportant, please keep in mind that whatever it is, it's something that is important to them. It's something they were relying on, and looking forward to. The world is so, so loud. We need our reliable comfort and happiness. We need our rest and relaxation, (even if that rest and relaxation is achieved via jumping, spinning, dancing, singing, or making specific noises).

Thanks for reading :). I hope this gave you (and your small) something to discuss or try.

[peskytimeswithscar]

I LOOOOVEEE AUTISTIC SCARIAN you could not believe me

they both know how to help the other out of meltdowns/shutdowns, they both share fidget toys, they both infodump to eachother, they stim with eachother, grian's favourite texture ever is the fur on scar's ears/tail so he's always brushing his fingers through them, and his favourite sound is scar's purring while scar loves the texture of grian's feathers and so always brushes his fingers through them when he's stressed, they both always know what eachother means when they're non/semi-verbal <333

i feel like grian would have a mix of shutdowns and meltdowns and scar would talk him through it, would always be willing to do whatever makes him comfortable, he knows not to touch grian because grian doesn't like to be touched when he's upset, so he just sits next to him and softly calms him down, offers him fidget toys, things to rip up and tear like paper, tells him about his day to try and distract him and tells him that it's okay that this is happening, that it's normal and that it's okay, because grian still feels like it's something weird and that he's just overreacting

while feel like scar would mainly have shutdowns, he mainly would just sit in a corner and cry or he just stim and seem really out of it, likely some more stims that end up in hitting himself or tugging at his hair, and grian would carefully pull his arms away from his damaging behaviour and carefully talk to him, and he would get a pressure blanket and pillows and plushies and would cuddle scar cause he knows that scar likes pressure and touch during his shutdowns, and would skim his fingers through his hair and lets him cry into his shoulder until he calms down

i feel like both of them have a mix of hypersensitivity and hyposensistivity!!

grian has alot of hyposensistivity to textures and so he's always trying new foods and textures, he's always brushing his fingers against whatever textures he can and like i said alot of his favourite textures relate to scar, like the feeling of his fur or the feeling of his scars against his skin, and while i feel he has alot of hypersensitivity to sound, scar's purrs are very nice to his ears aswell as the vibrating feeling of his chest when he does purr, so he always ends up relaxed when he hugs scar and feels him purring

while scar has alot of hypersensitivity to textures and sounds, he doesn't like loud noises (except from some, for example the train whistle of his s10 base) and alot of textures he absolutely does not like, and he has to get most of his clothes specifically made by other hermits who can with the specific seams and fabrics (in 3rd life he didn't have his shirt on most of the time because the texture suddenly felt absolutely terrible, especially with the feeling of sand under it and so he decidedly just ditched it)

[saturnniidae]

Autistic Astrid Hofferson.

She stims by tapping her fingers against the handle of her axe (she actually picked it up from Hiccup – he likes to tap his fingers against things) and takes comfort in the familiarity of the worn handle. (Pretty much a comfort item. I mean, she sleeps with it under her pillow, right?)

She likes running her hands over her skirt and finds the texture of the spikes pleasing, sensory wise.

She fists her hands in her hair and pulls at it or yells when she's overwhelmed, picks at her nails or fiddles with the end of her braid when she's anxious.

She spent so much of her life memorizing that unspoken social rulebook, trying to be the best (partially for her own ambitions, partially for validation), that until the turning point that was the start of her and Hiccup's friendship, she couldn't even comprehend allowing herself to openly behave in a way not considered 'normal' (which is part of why she lashed out so hard towards Hiccup during dragon training).

She's absolutely terrible at emotional regulation; if she feels anything she can't immediately understand and place the cause of, she defaults to anger and violence because those are familiar and in a way, safe. They're things she's been taught to feel for most of her life and she struggles to deviate from that.

Also, just generally she has a very low tolerance for irritating behavior and will immediately react to stop it with little thought to the possible casualties. (Read: she gets overwhelmed easily but has tried to train herself to power through it, which isn't healthy, and results in violent outbursts but she doesn't know how to stop)

She rigidly follows routines and her own set of rules and stubbornly refuses anything else unless she's actively proven to be wrong.

She hates sudden change (especially in the context of preset plans). As a warrior, she's of course had to learn to adapt to it, battle is unpredictable, but that doesn't stop it from being any less overwhelming or frustrating.

Special interest in combat and weapons, she likes watching Hiccup work in the smithy and bombards him with questions about the process of forging weapons. (they've spent hours talking, and once she actually understands what he's doing, she loves looking through his sketchbook and asking questions about his inventions, all of which he's happy to answer)

Stormfly grounds her, in a way. She's like an emotional anchor to Astrid, one of the only things able to help her calm down from suppressed meltdowns that manifest as overwhelming fits of rage. It's incredibly stressful for her whenever they're separated. Next to Hiccup, Stormfly is her best friend. (While of course not on the same level as Hiccup and Toothless, Astrid and Stormfly have a better understanding of each other than anyone else)