#most of which could probably honestly be solved by 1) moving out and 2) securing a regular supply of weed

[fingertipsmp3]

I love knowingly making bad decisions

[nabrizoya]

honestly would LOVE to hear your thoughts on the nikolai duology because i really only see blanket praise or blanket hate for it whereas I see a lot of wasted potential. Bardugo's actual writing was beautiful as ever for the most part, but the choice of the plot/beats feels baffling to me. I love Nina, but her parts felt so separate from the rest of the book until the very end, and even that felt off. I liked the first 2/3 of KoS enough, dealing with the monster, political tensions, 1/2

and even the cult of the starless saint was at least interesting because dealing with people trying to rewrite the narrative of their greatest enemy (who hurt these young leaders in deeply PERSONAL ways) was really compelling (making him literally come back was. a choice) but I feel like somewhere in the last third, KoS went in a wholly differeent direction, and RoW has this vibe of feeling like she definitely wrote it after reading the show scripts or even seeing some footage. idk. 2/2

I will try to be brief (1/12)

Hey anon! Thank you so much for asking this even though it took 38756588247834 years to answer this I’m so sorry !! The Nikolai duology was good—wonderful too maybe because of the myriad of themes and topics it discussed and explored, all in addition to how beloved these characters are. For me, it’s the end of KoS as it is for you, and the entirety of RoW in particular that irk me the most.

I have very little issue with KoS, and I agree with everything you’ve said. The political tensions, the sort of urgency in trying to secure a country at the cost of personal reservations, preparing for a war that seems unforgivably near the door, etc. was all thrilling. After all, it is the first installment in the duology, and it’s supposed to set the course for the upcoming books.

KoS managed to introduce the stakes and the circumstances, lay the rails for what the characters will face and what it might mean to a vast set of entities connected to the events. And it’s hardly out of sense to expect Rule of Wolves to pick up where the previous book left off and carry forward the themes and plot points introduced in the first book.

Except, RoW failed spectacularly in that aspect.

Rule of Wolves: the second book, and the supposed finale to the Grishaverse and the Nikolai duology; it fails to continue the other number of threads that KoS set up for it, effectively compromising the characters, their characterizations, the themes and other political tensions and stakes. The due importance that should be given to the heavy set of topics that get brought up in the povs are not through, nor are the small details that Leigh added to the conversations evolve into something worth talking about, which are the actual points that could have been given some more page time to explore than just making them facts or points of nostalgia for the characters.

If you take a step back and analyze the whole timeline, events, characterization, objectives of the arcs and the plot points etc. etc., all the way from Crooked Kingdom to Rule of Wolves, there’s so much that is left out and tied in, quite haphazardly, which leads me to believe that Leigh wanted to attempt writing a duology that is more plot-driven than it is character driven. And we know that Leigh writes character driven stories brilliantly, and SoC, CK and TLoT are testament to the same. Heck, even TGT has more consistency than whatever TND has.

So, objectively? Plot possibilities? Characterization? Potential? Personal goals? Addressing the very serious themes it brought up, in little or major light, but give no proper elaboration about them?

The lost potential readily compromised the characterizations of many characters, and it all amounted to their arcs being very underwhelming.

I’m dividing this into four parts and here’s the basic outline.

Writing and Plotting

The Plot, Possibilities and Potential.

Characters, Characterization, Character Potential.

Remedy (what I think would've worked better to tie this all up)

This can get very looong, so be forewarned.

I. Writing & Plotting

Now, Leigh Bardugo’s writing is exceptional, no doubt. The sentences are short and flowy, and convey the tone, psyche, environment and the setting and its effects on the pov character marvellously. It's also immersive. It’s the same in Rule of Wolves, except, a little or a lot weaker.

The two main parts of this is that one, that Leigh slightly overdid showing a lot more than telling, and two, that the RoW (and perhaps KoS too), was more plot driven than character driven, the latter of which is actually Leigh’s strength.

In Rule of Wolves, Leigh’s writing seemed very choppy and snappish. The descriptions were lacking, or maybe that’s just me wishing for more internal conflict and dilemma, and going back and forth in one's own head for a bit. It felt like she showed more than she told.

Example being how Zoya ‘snaps’, ‘drawls’, ‘scoffs’, or ‘scowls’ less, and even if that’s supposed to be show Zoya beginning to be a little less unpleasant than she usually is, the tone in those chapters was not strong enough to distinguish how and why the character was acting a certain way. Nor pinpoint an explanation on what brought that change about. (And there were many instances like this with many other characters), which resulted in the characters themselves feeling so off to me.

Leigh’s characters are important to the story. They carry tremendous weight and actively contribute to the plot. Except, by focusing a lot more on the plot, some parts of these characters’ relevance was not up to the mark. It is greatly due to how weak the plotting and pacing of the book was, tbh, more than just her writing.

Consider: Mayu Kir Kaat. She is integral to the story, but she is thrust into responsibilities, and that doesn’t give us much time to see her as a person, and then as a person with a duty, like we see with most other characters. Whatever parts of her we did see were very circumstantial and timed, which is probably the reason why not many we’re unable to appreciate Mayu as much as we should. (Maybe fandom racism also plays a part, so, well,,,).

Like, we know from Six of Crows and with The Language of Thorns, how great care went into describing the characters’ state of mind, which further heavily influenced their choices and decisions. This time though, I think she wanted it to be more plot driven, hence the whole crowded feeling of the book and general worry about oh my god too much is happening, how will all this be solved and all that.

And this, I think, greatly hampered Leigh's writing, leading to unsettling and rather unsatisfying character arcs. Not to mention that there was quite little space given for the characters to develop or let them grow in a satisfying way which touches on most of the elements and themes that get brought up with regard to their powers and potential,,, and when it was indeed brought up, it was all in vain since they were never followed through.

That's one of the biggest problems for me in RoW: Plot points brought up in KoS were not brought forward in RoW.

II. The Plot, Possibilities and Potential.

Phew. Truly buckle up because this train has too many coaches. And to discuss them all, let’s keep the starting point as Crooked Kingdom.

a) Parem

Now, by the end of Crooked Kingdom, we know some important things about the parem.

It's dangerous asf for the Grisha who have to sacrifice their will and capabilities for a short time superpower high that they didn’t even ask for

Which means they are more often than not forced to consume the drug

Shu Han is the creator of the Parem and are also creating a new kind of soldiers called Khergud (who additionally require Ruthenium, but we’ll talk abt that later)

Fjerda snatched the formula after kidnapping Bo Yul-Bayur, keeping him away in the Ice Court and in their possession, and used the Parem to further their own heedlessly heinous agenda

I think it’s easy to understand how KoS started off on the right track, considering that Kuwei Yul Bo is mentioned, the antidote and jurda is brought up and so come the political tensions alongside it (what with the impending war, the demon, the lack of funds in the coffers and security and peace for the country alongside safety for the Grisha).

The point is, parem is a character of its own. CK was its inception, and its fate was decreed along with its lifespan and its doom. Ideally, by the end of RoW, parem should have been vanquished while addressing its nature as a deadly drug, the addiction and aftermath, and the key person who will guide the plot: Kuwei Yul Bo.

Parem is a political tool that pitted countries against each other, making one another their allies or enemies. (Though parem is not the only one factor). Ravka doesn’t yet know about Kerch’s neutrality. The Shu made their move to assassinate in the end, just as Fjerda cleared the air about their goals.

Point is, parem is weapon, a new kind of warfare that keeps getting alluded to in KoS. The first book gave a glimpse of how the Shu and Fjerda are using parem, thereby exploiting, prejudicing etc. the Grisha in their countries. Khergud whose humanity is washed away with parem + ruthenium, and the Fjerdan Grisha (are targeted) drugged and exploited while be subjected to torture, training and imminent death, parametres of these outcomes being severely gendered.

Ravka too wanted to weaponize it and create a usable strain that would still give the Grisha their powers but at a minimal cost, until Nikolai’s conversation with Grigori convinces him out of it and to use only the antidote for the Grisha.

And when are the contents of this conversation brought up again?

Never.

Another aspect of parem (that the conversation also covers) is this: that what was once merzost, parem is its strange cousin. Parem parallels breaking the bounds of Grisha norms unnaturally, while merzost takes it a step further to break the bounds of nature itself, which comes with a heavy price. They're both the same with little differences. Amplifiers are in tune with this discussion, hence the conversation between Zoya and Nikolai about how, and whether or not the abomination in him, the parem, and the amplifiers are tied together. This gets brought up again in the conversation with Grigori.

Parem parallels the superpowers, something that Zoya too manages to achieve once the corruption of the amplifier business is resolved, which makes her realize how in tune with nature the Grisha must be, and how limited the Grisha powers until then had been. And why the amplifiers were a corrupted piece of magic.

Zoya was supposed to be the conduit in that sense that she reversed the Grisha norms and understood the importance and nature of small science. This is alongisde parem getting abolished or resolved in the least, be given a redressal.

Yet instead in RoW, we barely see any of Zoya’s powers, nor even her experimentation and hunger for power which would give her protection. We don't see how she begins to realize that while power was indeed protection, it was also a responsibility. Not clearly, anyway.

So like, not only is this entire discussion thrown away in Rule of Wolves, but no matters are resolved either. Parem did not reach its end like it was supposed to. Merzost with regard to parem would have been an excellent thing to address, with or without the Darkling being present, because the blight is there. But that doesn’t happen.

What happens instead? We get one chapter of Grisha getting the antidote during the face off at the start of the book, the women in Fjerda are not brought up again and instead we jump to Shu Han. Kuwei is also conveniently forgotten because hey, the Zemeni are here so it’s all sorted!

RoW could have (should have actually) sought to address both the political and medical (?) aftermath and implications. Maybe it did succeed in showing the political side of it, with regard to Mayu, Ehri, Makhi and Tamar’s storylines. But that’s only in Shu Han, whose state of affairs we had NO idea of until RoW. No idea, so much that it was completely out of the blue.

And what we did know (get to know about in KoS) is Fjerda and the affairs there remained… unsolved.

(...sorry).

b) Grisha Powers

Re: From the conversation between Nikolai and Grigori, and Juris and Zoya, about how parem and the amplifiers are parallel to each other in terms of being abominations, a corruption of Grisha powers. Now the theory of it is not entirely explained, but we do know that the parem and whatever Zoya learnt from Juris was meant to move along in the same direction.

But we don't see another mention of it, except maybe we could dig a little deeper and realize that it all adds up because Zoya is the Grisha Queen of Ravka, Summoner, Soldier, Saint, all of it rushed and unnecessarily magical in a war so dire and realistic in RoW.

Welp.

c) Spy business

Just… genuinely what even was Nina up to in RoW? A spy, sure, but only to garner information on the pretender?

Why couldn’t there have been two responsibilities for her to uncover: the lies or truths about the pretender while the Apparat causes hindrances, and Nina trying to seek out more documents of the locations and labs where the Grisha women are being tormented and the other Grisha being weaponized? It could have been a leverage to discredit Fjerda in front of everybody in the Os Kervo scene. Imagine if Nina whipped out the documents of Grisha labs and brought the truth of the exploitation and killing and kidnapping etc. in front of the convention of all nations. All of it together would have upped the political tensions by quite the notch.

Even then, there’s a possibility that it wouldn’t matter either because the Grisha aren’t exactly valuable to all the nations. But killing and exploiting is still wrong so maybe it might have worked? Or see, even if it wouldn’t have, the slow and sluggish realization of Mila’s identity by Brum, and alongside writing it as a tragedy where Nina’s efforts seem to have gone to waste, or where Nina is telling Zoya about not accounting for Prince Rasmus’ word and she informs her about the documents she has snatched? Something could have been done here?

The point is, KoS focused on Fjerda and its unraveling, and it wasn’t continued with and through in Rule of Wolves. Instead it sought to find the problem in a whole new country, Shu Han, and fixed it within the same book leaving the other country as it is.

d) Ruthenium and the Blight

Ruthenium, the metal that is an alloy of regular metal and Grisha made steel, could have been utilized more significantly in the books.

I mention it in association with the blight because while on one hand it is true that the blight is an area full of nothingness, ruthenium as a metal could have been utilized to show the effects of rushed industrialization that is leading to the ground losing its essence. This is supposed to be advanced warfare after all. Besides, Makhi loses someone very dear to her. Perhaps ruthenium is more dangerous in Shu Han because the Shu use it to create the khergud, so the constant manufacturing of it has been leading to the metal leeching the lands of their fertility, along with the blight.

And so also to broker peace, Ravka could have provided aid in some ways. :

1) The Darkling sacrificed himself, as a result of which the blight vanishes. While the blight took away her niece, the possibility of a blight persisting despite the ending of RoW could be attributed to ruthenium.

2) Ravka could provide the reversing effect to the alloy of ruthenium and metal using Grisha and otkazt’sya engineering and ingenuity to replenish the lands.

All in addition to whatever will be Shu Han’s policies to bring lushness to their lands.

e) Women and War:

Holy fucking Shit, where do I start with this?

Whatever we saw in Fjerda was haunting, and we see it from Nina’s chapters. There’s literally no resolution for it, nor is it ever brought up again, at all. In Zoya’s chapters, we see through her eyes the brunt that Grisha faced with the war, and in a country that has refused to recognize Grisha as the citizens and considers them expendable.

Add to it her own narrative of how the women are never mentioned, let alone the ones that she has lost or has known to suffer, at the hands of the war, at the Darkling's torture and powers. The description of these women suffering, often being forgotten and thrown aside as mere casualties… where or when was it ever going to be brought up again?

Like, switching between such horrifying things happening in Fjerda to whatever was happening with Zoya and Nikolai and Isaak is such a contrast, horrifyingly demeaning and insulting, even more so when it failed to align with the importance of parem and offer a solution to both these problems.

Now switch to Rule of Wolves, where the Tavgahard women immolate themselves on Queen Makhi’s orders. Not only is that such a cheap and insensitive thing to do, it gets treated a simple fucking plot point in the book, and it barely gets addressed afterwards. Women in Asia have a vastly complex and complicated history with fire, and this is a serious criticism that culturally affects readers in personal ways. And what gets done about it? Fine, Zoya feels baaaad, sorry oops why would the women do that?!?!?

Where is the adequate sensitivity to the topic? Where is the continuation of the pain Zoya feels for many people, despite them being the enemy? How does she honour them? Where is all that dilemma and pain? Why does she not think of them or just get a line or two to talk about them?

Where is the due importance for this suffering given? Structurally and culturally?

f) Soldier, Summoner, Saint / Yaromir the Great

We never really get any explanation for why Zoya deserves to be the Queen, and why she is the best. But we do get to see why Nikolai isn’t the one supposed to be on the throne, and it’s not just because of his parentage but also because of his failings and doubts and the need for acceptance with the secrets he carried.

Here's the thing though; it’s not just about her showing mercy. It’s very subtle, and in good sense, should actually have been given a little bit more importance that be loosely brought up at random times.

Keeping aside the fact that Zoya is representative of Ravka—a woman, a Grisha, a Suli girl who changed the course of war and who knew what it was like living in poverty, being as an underprivileged person of the society in addition to the trauma from then and the state of living at her aunt’s place—which is meant to be covertly apparent, the other reason tracks back to Yaromir the First, who with the help of Sankt Feliks of the Apple Boughs—the one who raised the thornwood—lead Ravka at that time into the age of peace.

The Darkling testified that in his POVs, that while Feliks and Yaromir worked in tandem for Ravka, Aleksander worked for safeguarding the Grisha. In one sense, Zoya is supposed to reflect that moment in history in the present moment, except she is Queen and Sankta, and Grisha, all three at once.

It is brought up in one of the Darkling’s POVs and once in the conversation with Yuri in KoS. Other than that, we never actually get any more hints of this explanation in the text, which is the reason why the entire ending felt so so rushed, and like a fever dream, that even if it was a plot twist, it was kinda very baseless when it should have been more ohhhhh sort of a thing.

g) The Starless Cult and Saint Worship

This cult had immense potential to blossom into many things, some of which were indeed touched upon in KoS when Zoya says that she saw a bit of herself in Yuri, and brings up time and again how easily she’d been led and had not been aware enough of what’s right and wrong, just as she supposes Yuri is too. And to some extent, there is truth there, because in the Lives of Saints, we do see why Yrui comes about to hail the Darkling and how it parallels Zoya’s, of being helpless and ten being saved by a different power/ their own power, respectively.

That’s where it forks, that Zoya is older and realizes the path that Yuri has chosen and understands that it won't happen until he realizes it himself because the Darkling’s crimes are so obvious.

Even then, there’s still more potential: This cult could have been the mirror that would make Zoya reflect on the questionable methods of the Darkling, and the ways in which she might be mirroring them, despite or not it is the necessity because of the war. How she is training soldiers too, just as the Darkling did, and while the need to take children away from their homes just as soon as they were discovered Grisha was abolished, it was war, and they needed soldiers.

So like, there’s quite a big narrative going on here, how mere children are pushed into one path of becoming a soldier and the whole system that was that the Darkling followed to train the Grisha and all of that. All of this in addition to the juxtaposition to the Grisha being seen as elite despite them being hunted, and the people who are not Grisha frowning upon them. This is also the work of the Darkling, which actually paves the way to see how there can be a world where the Grisha are not feared or seen as abnormal, despite or not they are given a Saint-like narrative.

This cult could also have been the segue to discussing Yuri and his brainwashing, and the sort of cult-ish behaviour of believing in something firm when you couldn’t believe in yourself, or not seeing the magnitude of the crimes of their supposed Saint, alongside always staying focused on becoming a soldier only and never actually thinking beyond what is told.

Some of these are very subtle and some are brought up, but never given too much of an explanation.

Genya brings up another good point in the funeral chapter, about how Fjerda seemingly taking into the whole Saints thing could mean that if the Darkling moved there, he could very well sprawl his influence there to bring in supporters. Which leads to another discussion that gets brought up towards the end of the book: about Nina telling about the Ravkan Saints to Hanne and therefore to the Fjerdans,,, which doesn’t exactly sit right with me. It’s still a very nascent topic, and I think SoC3 will explore this path of faith and personal beliefs etc. but leaving it just there, while talking so much about Saints in both the countries,,, don’t exactly know how to put it into thoughts here.

But regardless, the cult of the Starless had different potential to talk of (blind) worshipping of an ideal without critically examining why the person must be put on the pedestal in the first place (and if it is simply power, then there is actually a narrative right there, which RoW gets right, about the people valuing the power still, as a result of which the monarchy still persists at the end of RoW. Even then, there’s more discussion awaiting there).

Not sure if any of this makes sense, but I’ll leave it at this here for now.

edit: 05/07/2021 | I think what I was trying to say here is that we do not have any kind of narrative evidence to seeing how and why it seems right that the Fjerdans will worship Ravkan Saints; is it merely because they are all Grisha? Or is it because of the segue explore this path of faith and personal beliefs and all of that, of the talk of the monastery and the Grisha there being of all identities, that a monastery is in Shu Han, that it has Djel's sacred Ash tree so far away from Fjerda... much to think about.

III. Characters, Characterization, Character Potential.

Mostly going to be about Nina and Zoya, but I’ll bunch up the rest of them at the end.

a) Nina

*head in hands*

I severely mourned how poorly Zoya was written in RoW, but then I realized that more than Zoya, it’s Nina whose potential was severely undermined and wasted. On one hand, I’m glad she uses her powers and quick thinking,observation and her own tactics to analyze the population and opt for the best way to make them see the truth she wants to show them (eg: making Leoni and Adrik and Zoya saints and also showing that the Grisha are the children of Djel via people’s belief to Joran and Rasmus’s mother).

But then, it’s like you said; her parts were so offbeat and outpaced and completely disjointed, when in fact, Nina is the thread that ties all the characters, their plotlines and potential, together. Nina is connected to Zoya and Hanne, two equally important characters and main characters of the duology. Whatever scope Nina has, they are greatly in parallel to Zoya and Hanne. And it’s all literally there, in the text! What a waste.

Though keeping aside these parallels, Nina’s own journey from Ketterdam to Ravka to Fjerda, while is spoken about, doesn’t touch some other parts that I see potential in. Or this is just meta.

Nina has grief not just from Matthias’ death but also from the loss of her powers as Heartrender. So much of the Second Army was built on being a soldier, and perhaps the Darkling was not outright disdainful of racial differences in his army, yet he still stripped every part of the children away until they weren’t children anymore in his view. They’re all soldiers… (albeit his soldiers, preparing them to do his bidding because hey, give and take right?). Nina was a soldier, and she is a soldier still under Zoya’s role as a General, but an ‘other’ of a soldier. That’s her only identity, and the loss of her powers means that she’s a different kind of soldier.

I imagine that this entire time, some small part of Nina longed for normalcy, or whatever settled as normal for a life like hers. In the sense that she wants to go back, but what is back and where exactly did she want to go back to? What was the before and after and where did things go wrong or change? There’s tragedy in the realization that whatever you were before what you became is not a place you can return to, and that’s a different kind of loss that she has to bear, and all by herself. She has powers over the dead now, a strange power she learns to grow to, but all the places she has been, all the lives she has led and people she had been, everything might seem like they’ve all been locked away in some strange place leaving her barren and indisposable.

She’s off to Fjerda as someone she isn’t, figuratively and literally. In KoS, Nina brings up many times how odd she feels as Mila and in some capacity longs to be Nina Zenik again. This ties in with the previous point of returning to somewhere, but where?, but is also a segue towards body dysmorphia, the thing that Nina and Hanne’s storylines parallel and connect too with in a small way. It’s a great line to follow to discuss what her discomfort with her body means to herself while it means something entirely different to Hanne, who is also not entirely comfortable being who they are. (This discomfort further which leads to gender dysphoria, while for Nina, it will be about learning to accept her powers. I’ll add on to this in a bit,).

I'm mourning the lost potential of that experience being a parallel to Hanne’s own feelings, of a discussion between people being uncomfortable with their bodies, something that can mean multitudes to each person and on their own accord.

In parallel to Zoya, I like to draw it from the fact about Nina wanting to go back to who she was, while Zoya actively tries to lock her past away and drown it somewhere or throw it to the storm, never to hear of it again. She has no identity other than being a soldier, and that’s enough for Zoya, because who she was before she was a soldier is not pleasant. But moving from being just another expendable shell of soldier under the Darkling’s rule, Zoya becomes the one third of the Triumvirate, and then the King’s general, all of which bring self-awareness of Zoya’s capabilities and challenges that are bound to excite her. But all of these also compel Zoya to be many other people to others as she slowly grows to realize that power is not just protection but also a responsibility, and it will inadvertently mean confronting her past of her lost identity, realizing the how of the Darkling, and how harmful it was. As Genya puts it perfectly in Rule of Wolves, that they were all taken away when they were young kids, not even barely children, and then thrust into responsibilities that didn’t allow them to be anything else other than what the Darkling told them to be.

Back to Nina; a few other great parts about Nina’s arc could have been about her connection to languages, as language being a mode of strengthening identity, in addition to growing to her powers. In RoW, there’s this line that goes ‘how sweet it was to speak her language [Ravkan] again’, and the feeling of homesickness. Like, Nina is trying to connect to Ravka through what she knows best—language, and then stories. In that, Nina realizes a part of her identity, which could also act as a segue to Zoya reclaiming her own heritage and ethnicity. Not only that but Zoya and Nina’s stories are literally so intertwined that it’s hard not to see how their choices and line of thought affect one another’s arcs, in the grief they have and how they choose to treat it, and also show why Zoya is particularly protective of Nina (and keeps wishing that she doesn’t become the monster Zoya had become, in the sense that Nina is more mature in handling her grief than Zoya was and the entire mercy plotline ties Nina, Zoya and even Genya together. More meta, haH).

And that’s why the ending doesn’t make sense. Even though the part about her not being comfortable as Mila is not brought up many times in the continuing chapters (and that’s why perhaps naming Nina’s discomfort as body dysmorphia may be wrong), there’s still the part of Nina readily accepting to be who she was a Mila and remain in Fjerda that seems iffy to me. Especially when Nina and Hanne literally a few chapters ago think about running away (it may be just another alternative they might be fantasizing about, but I think it still means that they both want to be their true selves without hiding any parts of it away). So her staying as Mila… well, it doesn’t exactly add up.

I’d also add the part of Nina’s story mirroring Leoni’s, and how she is from Novyi Zem and being a part of the Second Army meant that she had little to no connection with her past, her culture etc. But maybe that’s just wishful thinking on my part that Leigh went for that arc.

edit: 05/07/2021 | I don't agree with my point anymore about Nina not having the kind of ending I assumed she might have, considering that it is very well possible for Nina to treat her identity as Mila as a fresh start, as a Grisha with a command over the the dead and begin a new normal that is suited for her. You can read more here.

b) Zoya

For one, white passing Zoya is not canon to me. I simply pretend I do not see it.

See, her race was handled very badly. Making her half-Suli was supposed to show the struggles and the trauma that the ridiculing of her identity by other people has caused to her. Except, not enough time nor text is given to thoroughly discuss it. Not to forget how problematic of a narrative in itself it is to make Zoya white passing.

It would have made more sense to make her dark skinned and predominantly Suli-looking than whatever yt bs she was put through. Her not being white-passing would have led to conversations about tokenization, or people caring little about her and not giving her any respect because she is Suli. Or being called beautiful to the face and praised just for it or a harmless tumble in their point of view.

So like, instead of making the ‘mistake’ of seeking for acceptance, seeking appreciation and love, from her mother at first and then the Darkling, Zoya instead makes herself someone to be feared, if respect was not what she deserved. The iciness is a part of her and has always been, but all of it soon became a shield, an armour that she vowed to harden her heart with. Just the sheer impact of this narrative and her reluctance, and seeing Nikolai love her for beyond who she thinks she is… if all of this was canon, I’m pretty sure I’d have built a shrine for this duology.

Let’s now talk about her grief, and...

…

Okay it’s not for me to point fingers at how Leigh chose to write about grief because there’s no one way or one proper approach to go through that pain, and if that’s how she chose to write about grief for Zoya, fine! But I really wish we’d have gotten a little more into her head to see how the trauma has affected her thoughts and how she struggles against why and what exactly it is that Juris wants her to do. That enough time and text was dedicated to Zoya’s feelings and the mayhem it caused her, as a result of which the dragon’s eye took its cue and made things more unbearable to her because she was the only one to bear them all.

Like, I feel like Zoya was overwhelmed throughout the book and in between she had some skyhigh responsibilities to discharge and it’s all so inconsistent and poorly woven,,, it completely dissolved her character from KoS and made it 10000000x more miserable for me to read her POVs. And honestly, what even were her assignments that the Kirkus review mentioned? Never an inch of text in RoW is given to decipher her complications of her mind, the muddled sense of hopelessness and fear that grips her time and again. Why overwhelm her so much that you fail to do her mental state and capacity any justice?

I’m not going to be harsh about how much David’s death bothered me-- no actually fuck that; what’s the point? Fine, he died. All because you wanted to make his death a plot device to make Zoya reconcile with loss and deal with it? Where was Genya’s grief? Literally no point of having a death in the book at all, and it didn’t even achieve anything. (I’m still trying to wrap my head around why David’s death was important and maybe if I find some straws, I’ll consider…)

There were so many other ways around it; could have brought back Lada and killed her off, or have the Darkling piss her off so badly or just. Something. Instead of whatever happened with David. I think this is too harsh and insensitive of me to say about Leigh, but still… there’s a myriad of other ways to have gone about it. Helping Zoya deal with her grief with Nikolai at her side, to understand that the rage that was fueled from her loneliness, like it had been in the past, could now be a weight that Nikolai was willing to carry with her… Helping someone with their grief, staying and choosing is also a love language you know?

So in that regard, I won’t regret saying how flat the garden scene was to me. Zoya’s lines, though tinged with grief, were so out of what I would expect KoS Zoya to say. Maybe it’s also because of how bitter I was reading about David's death, despite that part being spoiled for me.

The cost shouldn’t have been David’s death, especially not when his death too wasn’t properly handled at all, and Genya’s grief was never spared a second thought beyond bringing Titanium.

+

Now let’s talk about how Out of Character Zoya was throughout the book. Her punchy attitude was missing, and even if she was warming up to her friends, we see little of the iciness she continues to retain. Another part of this is about exploring her relationships, particularly with Nikolai and her growing feelings for him. I wish we’d have seen them grapple with more of their confusion and propriety, if only for the yearning™. Besides, no matter how cute their scenes were, they were mostly (like maybe some. 70%) awful to read them, simply because it felt so odd to see Zoya be so open with Nikolai, all of a sudden.

A part of this definitely has to be the fact that we don’t know just how much time has passed between the end of KoS and the start of RoW, and we never, never see any description of they regarded their feelings for each other and how they understood it themselves. I don’t actually know how exactly I can put this into words in a manner that will make sense, but the only scenes where I appreciated Zoyalai were in the Ketterdam chapters, ONLY. The rest was… bleh lmao. Their scenes were so cute and brilliant, and if only we’d seen more of the internal conflict and had given some more time for them to practically approach their feelings but still end up in the puddle of it. If only.

Their scenes apart were the good ones, because that’s where we finally see Nikolai feeling the loss, no matter how temporary (on the verge of being permanent since it’s the war), of not having Zoya with him, of not being there with Zoya because who else would it be if it wasn’t her? Zoyalai had good scenes but they barely lived up to the mark lol. Their feelings are never thoroughly explored, nor their mental capacities.

While we’re talking about Zoyalai, let’s also talk about how lame it was for Zoya to say that Nikolai was the golden spirited hero all along, from the very start, when canonically we know Zoya had little to do with him in the earlier books, that she may have only been physically attracted to him and never saw him as more than just some guy with a responsibility to manage, and had sooooooo much distrust about him. And that it was only in the next few years of working with him and alongside did she grow to recognize his efforts and relish in the hope that he was building for Ravka, inadvertently making Zoya hopeful too.

Nope. Instead, we’ll just throw in some destiny bs that he was the one all along rather than show that the beauty of their relationship did not stem what they perceived of each other, but was instead built on strong respect and admiration for one another and their capabilities. 100% destroyed their relationship for me.

+

Some good parts about Zoya’s arc in RoW was how she acknowledged her past mistakes, and the nuance that was touched upon in seeing sense in becoming a soldier from the start, that offered her a chance to be anything other than a bride. That some part of her was grateful for the Darkling for teaching her how to fight, while still keeping Genya’s words in mind about how they were mere kids, children who had only one path to traverse because the Darkling (who wanted their acceptance and loyalty) nor the Kings of the country let the Grisha be anything else other than pawns of the war. That she recognizes her mistakes as a teen and how self centred she was, that her being snotty had at times cost some peoples’ lives too. And she doesn’t take the blame all up on herself, because it’s not hers alone to bear. Super good.

Also, the way Zoya comes to view power as responsibility instead of merely as protection was something cool to read about. It’s not clear in the books, but Zoya actively tried to not be the Darkling while still continuing to build an army for the war out of necessity, and actually sharing some parts of the dream that the Darkling had for the Grisha. I can’t articulate this so perfectly, but the point is, Zoya trying to avoid becoming a tyrant like the Darkling was an active process that she was constantly trying to change, and where Zoya could not recognize her own feelings and inherent thoughts about warfare that in some ways did mirror the Darkling’s, by the end of book, Zoya is much more self-aware and conscious of herself and her power than she was at the start of the book. And this was well done.

+

Now, what is up with YA and making people turn into giants or animals lol wtf. Why couldn’t we have seen Zoya use her dragon powers in a way that symbolizes the conditions of her dragon amplifier and the power of the knowledge she obtained from Juris? She is a Saint, and we’ve seen that their powers allowed them to cause ‘miracles’ and such, as we see at the start of KoS and at the end.

Why couldn’t we have seen Zoya dabble with her newfound powers and completely lose her shit in anger during the wae, only to rein back in mercy, just as someone from Fjerda begs for forgiveness since they see her then as a Saint? Adrik and Leoni used their powers in Fjerda, so having Zoya bring about a conundrum of all orders and do something about it would also have been cool, wouldn’t it? In the funeral scene we see her turn water into ice, thereby making a path for Genya. Why couldn’t we have had more exploration of the importance of the dragon’s eye and the general nausea of being overly empathetic every. damn. time? Why didn’t we get to see her powers? Why couldn’t we have seen her fail in them and realize that the reason she was not perfect was because she was trying to be strong on her own and was not relying on others and joint effort?

Her turning into a dragon was genuinely the most baffling part bc here’s a war that’s so serious and dire with metals and bombs, and then here’s this magic that will solve all of it entirely. Like I’m not saying it was bad, (I am actually saying just that) but I also don’t know what I am saying, except that the ending felt like a fever dream.

…?

Not sure if I’ve managed to convey it properly, but well. Zoya felt out of character throughout RoW, and that the only place I saw KoS Zoya was in the final Os Kervo scene where Zoya finally agrees to be the queen.

c) Nikolai

Nikolai’s arc was very satisfying and brilliant to read about in RoW. In KoS, he seemed very much like a passive character, one of the reasons why his stunt with the Shu in RoW was appreciable, no matter how ill-timed of a plot turn it was. His journey throughout this book was also introspective to see why others deemed him unfit as the King, and even if they were his enemies who thought that in want to dispose him from the throne, Nikolai realizes that him being on the throne is not of much value and that this book was entirely about him seeing his privilege and making decisions to counter and correct the mistakes he’s made. That was nice. Oh, also his father not being an antagonist was a pleasant surprise.

I don’t have many complaints about him, except perhaps wanting some more internal conflict and elaboration about his feelings for Zoya. Them being apart was where it was satisfying, and then in the Ketterdam chapters. His arc could have been better in KoS, but that’s to blame the plot for the characterization.

d) Hanne

Now, from the very start, their arc was super good and it only got better and better until… the ending. Except it’s so odd that Hanne, a poc, has to now live as white person, while feeling comfortable in their transmasc identity. Icky, no? That you need to eliminate one part of your identity in order to feel safe and comfortable about another? Add to this the whole white-passing Zoya thing,,, doesn't exactly send off the right message.

Together with Nina, the ending seems uncharacteristic for both of them. Them coming to accept their powers and knowing to use their powers on their own accord was brilliant, though the entire husband business felt very,,, eh to me, even if it did make sense. The ending about their name and their new identity was too vague.

e) Genya, Leoni and Adrik, Kuwei, Mayu,

Genya is the one who faced the most disservice along with David. While there were exceptional parts to both of their plotlines, it's still sad that even if David's death was necessary, we don't get to see the entirety of her grief and the possible anger, and that her kindness is simply used as the justification for lack of portrayal of grief.

It really did take me by surprise, mostly because I wasn't a fan of the original Shadow and Bone book, but seeing David's conscience and self-awareness, along with Genya's (and Zoya thinking of how she wouldn't let any harm come to them, which shows a bit of her development towards her character development), was plenty refreshing. David and Genya were genuinely the highlights of the book and to kill David off was just. doesn't sit right with me.

Leoni and Adrik deserved more page time. They’re saints and immensely capable (no wonder they’re now the Triumvirate), but a few more pages for them to shine would not only have been nice, but also a necessity.

And now, Kuwei...

....

I mean,,, parem should have been the plot, alongside the entire weaponry and the discussion of making a city killer. But uh… that didn’t happen.

There's not much I have to say about Mayu, Tamar and Ehri, except that their plot was superb, only very badly timed.

There's more to talk about them in the remedy tho.

IV. Remedy

Here’s the deal. Before KoS release, there should have been a Nina novella.

Nina is a very important character. All of her potential, alongside many other parts of her personality--from dealing with grief, to accustoming to her powers, to growing stronger--there could be so much to do with her as a protagonist, alongside another character: Mayu.

A whole book dedicated to Nina in Fjerda with Hanne? Brilliant. Show Stopping. Mind blowing. It gives SO much page time to explore not just Nina and Mayu, Hanne, but also Zoya, Leoni and Inej. All together.

How?

Nina’s plotline carries the entire medical effects of the use of parem, just as Mayu’s will carry the pain she feels about her brother being a part of the khergud program. The novella will give ample time to flesh them out as characters and protagonists, each dealing with plot problems and problems of their own--like the loss of ones powers and newfound responsibilities, and the shared loss of a beloved person in parallel, even if neither Nina or Mayu interact on page.

Fjerda and Shu Han could be tied together with one chapter as a POV from Zoya (or maybe two), who, along with the Triumvirate and Nikolai, are completely at loss with the political scenario in the country, and are debating over what should be the course of action. Zoya receives news from the scouts, and missives from Nina, and Tamar takes care of the information she garners from the rest of the network, including Shu Han.

Like, the entire surprise of finding a Zoya POV, from a character whom until CK we’ve known as cold hearted and stern and not giving a fuck about anything or anyone, be humanized in that one chapter, thereby building up the anticipation for her arc,,, the very potential,,, *chef's kiss*.

And by the end of book, we could have an POV--or maybe a cameo if not a POV--of Inej meeting Nina on one of her travels of slave hunting. Inej could help take care that the women that Nina has rescued (as Nina does in KoS) reach the Ravkan shorelines safely. But, for a price.

The entire parallels between Leoni and Hanne and Nina could be set up, while also building up the narrative for the Saints’ plotline with Adrik's, Leoni's and Nina’s powers (like it was at the end of KoS). KoS and RoW would thereby continue it by tackling the weaponization and the antidote, Sainthood and the rest of the politics of it all.

Coming to Shu Han: one key aspect that I’d love to have explored would be the importance of art, during or despite the war. Of how war or pain chips away culture, while detailing on the ill effects of it from the commoners' perspectives, from the soldiers etc. Art is integral to Shu Han and could be portrayed by Mayu’s pain finding balm in poetry, of seeing glimpses of Ehri poring over poetry also mayri ftw, of politics that Makhi is weaving against Ravka, etc.

Or also add some more length to Zoya’s POV and explore a bit of Tamar and Tolya and Kuwei’s interactions and perspective added to it, of missing a home that they seemed to not know, or know; of discussing culture and differences on the basis of where they’re from (maybe the twins are from the borders, while Kuwei grew up near the capital or somewhere distant from the borders etc.), all while directly pointing at Zoya’s heritage and how it ebbs at her conscience, no matter how much she wants to bury it.

POTENTIAL !!!

Like,,, Nina novella would have been too powerful. It would have been perfect. I think I’d excuse bringing back the Darkling too if this was the case. (Or maybe not).

But welp.

Hey, thanks for reading! Not sure if you could make it this far, but if you have, you honestly deserve a medal for sitting through this all. I can’t imagine how tiring it must be to read through this, considering it seemed to take it more than month to compile this there’s also me procrastinating on it too so i’,mbhbdhshfsdn

Drop an ask if you want to talk more about this!

Sincerely, thank you!!!

[bigbrotherlouis]

✨✨

hello lovely!! if it’s okay with you, i’m going to do a scene from the latest chapter of tried to keep myself from hurting bc i am proud of that one a lot!

Mitch tips forward again, determined to try again, and get stopped by the press of Dylan’s palm to his forehead.

“Mitch,” Dylan says, his voice shot through with something. “What are you doing?”

He blinks at him. “What the fuck does it look like I’m doing?” (i really went into this last chapter not wanting to do an happy ever after. like, yeah, they’re going to end on a positive bc i like those kinds of stories, but i didn’t want everything to be fixed by talking to each other. they still have stuff they have to work out, and i wanted it to be realistic)

There’s a pause. “Okay, fuck this,” he mumbles and shoves carefully at him, enough so Mitch tumbles back and he can stand. It’s a weird sense of deja vu, sprawled on the ground, watching Dylan fix himself up after rejecting him again. (parallels!) It aches in a way Mitch didn’t know still ached. He swallows hard.

“Where are you going?”

“Hotel.”

“Why?”

“I’m not doing this shit,” he says and pulls out his phone, tapping at it too quickly. (they both try to solve things mostly by ignoring them, and this is dylan doing that) His hands are shaking slightly. Mitch swallows again, the taste of Dylan still on his tongue, and his throat way too dry.

“Are you, uh,” he says, still aching. “Are you breaking up with me.” (this maybe was a little too obvious for mitch to ask straight up, but i think it made sense in context. the last time dylan did this, they broke up. it’s reasonable for him to think that history’s repeating itself)

That gets Dylan’s attention; he glances up from his phone to stare at him. “What? No.”

“Are you mad at me?”

“Yes,” Dylan says and then frowns. “No. I don’t know.”

“Okay, then why are you leaving?”

“Why are you trying to blow me on the sofa?” (i never know how to refer to blowjobs. it’s awkward for me every time.)

“Getting you to the bedroom seemed like too much work,” he says, too honest and too unthinking. Dylan levels a look at him. (this is less supposed to be flippancy and more supposed to be mitch not thinking. his brain’s busy trying to think through what’s happening)

“That’s not what I meant and you know it.”

He shrugs his shoulder. “You looked like you needed a blowjob,” he mutters and makes a face, nothing left in him to keep it away. (mitch in this fic has a history of trying to fix things with sex and this was him trying to fix the weirdness between them, or manage dylan’s mood)

Dylan stares at him some more and then sighs. “Just— hold on for a second.”

Mitch watches as he turns around and disappears in the direction of the kitchen, holding his breath until he reappears with another protein bar. He drops it on Mitch’s stomach.

“Eat that.”

“I’m not hungry.”

“Take a fucking bite, Marner.” Mitch obediently unwraps it and takes a bite, chewing quickly. (more managing) “You told me that you wanted to gargle bleach.”

“Huh?”

“Every time you suck a dick, you said you want to gargle bleach,” Dylan says and then nods at the protein bar. “For the taste.” (i really tried to make dylan attentive and and thoughtful in his own way and this was the culmination of that)

Mitch looks at what’s left in his hand, tastes the mild sweetness on his tongue instead of— well. “Oh. Thanks?”

“Why the fuck did you try to suck my dick?” (very delicate, dylan)

“Why not?”

“Jesus Christ, do you have to play so dumb? Or have you forgotten the massive fight we had about this?”

“I’m an adult, Dylan. I can do what I want.”

“Sure, but what if I didn’t want a blowjob, huh?”

“Dunno, dude, you were enjoying it for a while there,” (trying to balance dylan’s interest as someone who experiences sexual attraction with his refusal to make mitch do something he doesn’t want to do was really hard in this scene! i don’t know if i did it well, honestly, but i sure as hell tried. dylan’s still trying to figure out what boundaries are) Mitch tells him and finishes the rest of the protein bar, feels it settle uncomfortably in his stomach. “You were still mad and I thought it would snap you out of your sulking. I was wrong, apparently.”

“I wasn’t sulking.”

“Oh, yeah you were, bud. Big time.”

Dylan breathes hard for a second. “So, what? You decided to try and suck it out of me?”

“It was working until you got pissy.”

“I’m never pissy.” (they’re still young and dumb)

Mitch snorts, pushing himself into a better sitting position. “Sure.” Dylan looks down at his phone again and then moves, snagging his jacket and looking for his shoes. “Shit, wait, you’re still leaving?”

“I— yeah?”

“Because I tried to hook up with you? You, my boyfriend?” (mitch is also trying to figure out boundaries!)

“I’m still mad at you and I don’t want you throwing yourself at me as, like, some weird omega thing.”

“Weird omega thing,” Mitch repeats, testing the words against his teeth. (unapologetically one of my favourite phrases) “Okay.”

“You’re telling me it’s not?”

“I’m telling you that I’m an adult who makes my own decisions and I can do what I want.”

“Fine,” Dylan says and looks at him head on, eyes keen and sharp. “Did you want that?” (i really wanted to show dylan changing and learning through this fic and this is one of the ways i hoped it showed!)

“I wanted you to be in a better mood.”

“Not what I asked.” (okay, maybe it’s a bit much to ask hockey players in their early twenties to understand the nuance between wanting sex and wanting the outcome of sex, but it was an important point to make to the reader, in my eyes)

Mitch tries again. “You wanted it.”

“Also not what I asked,” Dylan tells him. Mitch thinks about it for a second and then drops his shoulders, sighing.

“I mean, does it matter?”

“Does it— of course it fucking matters, Mitchell. What the fuck.”

“You’re upset, I can make you feel better, it’s what I’m supposed to do. (something something we live in a society) So it doesn’t matter,” he explains, watching emotions cross over Dylan’s face too fast to catch fully. Dylan seems to settle on a determined sort of anger, mouth pressed into a tight line.

“Listen to me, no, listen. I don’t— I don’t care about the whole fucking omega thing, okay? I really don’t. I’m trying to care less about the alpha thing, but it’s me so it’s a little harder. (meaning, it’s really easy to give people grace sometimes while beating yourself up for the same thing. dylan doesn’t care about mitch being a good omega, but desperately cares about being a good alpha) But you? This? I care about you, as my— as my boyfriend, not as my fuckin’— omega, or whatever.” (there’s probably a whole other fic here about what omegas mean in this particular au but i will most likely not be writing it)

“Dylan—”

“Shut up, I’m making a point. I already told you, and I don’t know how many times I’m going to tell you again, but I don’t fucking care that you don’t like sex. You don’t want to have it, so we won’t, and you can stop feeling so fucking gulity about it. I can deal with my own dick and you can just leave it alone. Can you get that into your thick skull, already?”

Mitch is quiet for a second, waiting, but the anger doesn’t fade from Dylan’s face, from his body. “Then why are you so mad?”

“I’m mad because you just do shit instead of talking about it, or, like, asking, and I know I’m not one for talking about feelings, but shit, Mitch, at least I’m not trying to fuck my way into feeling secure.” (could he have said this more delicately? probably. would it have been true to character? no. also it’s nice and succinct, thanks dylan for wrapping that up so neatly)

“Hey,” Mitch says lowly. It’s the only thing he can make himself say.

“You don’t trust me.”

“I trust you.”

“No,” Dylan says. “You don’t. Which, like, it has to be earned n’shit, but that goes both ways, and I can’t trust you if you’re not going to be honest with me. I can’t trust you if I think you’re going to keep bulldozing over your own emotions to make me happy. Or, what you think will make me happy.”

“I don’t want you to—” He cuts himself off because he doesn’t know how to end that sentence, everything muddled in his brain. (this was where i thought about starting the whole “i’m scared you’ll leave me if i don’t want to have sex with you” argument but then decided it was too much for the last chapter) “You liked it, though.”

“Yeah, because I like sex and I think you’re hot, and there was not enough blood in my brain to understand what was happening right away. I’m sorry, though. I should’ve stopped you sooner.” (originally, they weren’t going to get as far as they did with the blowjob but it didn’t work to stop it any sooner, so i kept writing. this is also not an excuse necessarily but again: hockey player)

Mitch’s ass is starting to hurt, so he hauls himself up from the floor to sit on the couch again, twisted around to keep Dylan in his sightline. “I’m sorry too,” he says and tips his head up. “Are you still going to leave.”

“Depends,” he says warily. Mitch digs his fingers into the back cushion and hates the thought of him walking away.

“I’ll keep my hands to myself. (*selena gomez voice* i mean i could by why would i want to) C’mon, Dyl, we’re not going to see each other in forever.”

Dylan visibly hesitates, but eventually he drops his coat again, toes off his shoes, crosses around the sofa to stand in front of him, Mitch twisted the right way around. “Okay, fine, but I want to go to bed. I’m tired.”

“It’s still early,” Mitch says, just to be difficult. He’s tired too, bone-weary from the game and from the rest of the night, and he gives over his hands so Dylan can pull him up. (it’s about the hand touching!! the intimacy!!)

anyway this was a tricky scene to balance while being respectful of 1) where characters currently are 2) where they used to be and 3) where i wanted them to end up. so mitch defaulting to sex to make dylan feel better and dylan letting him fulfills point 2, dylan stopping them but only after he realises fulfills point 1, and agreeing to talk fulfills point 3! not sure if it was executed well re: motivations and reactions, but i definitely did my best :)

[houseki-no-suffering]

honestly in pad's perspective, them being in a coma didnt make rutile happy and them being healthy still didnt make rutile happy so it's like fuck you. try fixing me then, here's a piece of something that fixed me, see if you can replicate it if youre so stubborn about it. meanwhile, im gonna pay back the gem that actually helped me by giving myself to them cause you clearly only care about being able to fix me and not my recovering itself

after trying to answer this concisely, I found out that i had a lot of thoughts.

So have a meta about Padparadscha’s wish for death, Rutile’s insecurities and why Padpa came back to Rutile.

to latch onto your ask, the only time padpa speaks about making rutile happy is when we first see them. 

they just woke up from a centuries long sleep and rather than spend time with rutile, they go for a walk with phos, the ‘youngest little squirt’ who always tagged along sensei. the little jewel Padpa probably didnt have that close a relationship with, compared to other gems they have known for a longer time.

during this conversation, we quickly realize how similar these two characters are. Both of them need constant replacements: phos breaks all the time and the seventh treasure theory pushes them (unbeknownst to them) to lose and acquire new parts of their body. This is similar to padpa’s condition, with the difference that padpa’s has a much harder time accepting new pieces.

it’s ironic. phos could live the same life padpa does if their body wasnt so accepting of replacements (and we get a glimpse of it when they acquire lapis’ head and during the 220 years time skip). Padpa could live the same life as phos as well if their body wasnt as picky. Add pain, loss, the weight of a meaningless but timeless existence, of war, of crushing self-hate and helplessness. 

You can see that padpa and phos are aware of the similarities they share. So padpa moves it one step forward.

Padparadscha says they want rutile to give up on assembling them because they dont want to be a burden. For this we can assume two things:

1) like most of the old gems (and some of the young ones too), padpa has lost any interest in living. 

they arent alive for their own sake or because there is something they want to do or prove or see. Even after they go to the moon, they say they will sacrifice their whole being in seeing that phos’ mission is successful. They want to help phos and maybe they have new faith in change thanks to phos’ revolution but, ultimately, they still end up sacrificing themselves. 

Padpa never stopped considering their life like a chip they could bargain, they never stopped thinking about death.

2) Padpa doesn’t hate Rutile and they are living for Rutile’s sake out of kindness and resignation. perfectly aware of Rutile’s obsession with fixing them. 

To be “discreet and composed” is possibly the most recurring advice in HnK: be prudent, think before you act, have patience, wait, consider everyone else’s feelings, dont rush. Ultimately, this is just a cute wrapping for what these pieces of advice really mean: let it all go. 

Padpa let it go when they decided not to confront Rutile and they always stayed true to their resolution. They’re fond of Phos and fascinated by Phos’ ability not to let go, the one that made them an outcast, but even while helping them Padpa is still nonchalantly  putting their life on the line.

Padpa let it go. They dont speak with Rutile during the night raid. they dont think that communication will solve their problems. And the same is happening now.

Padpa’s face when they salute Rutile and give them a piece of their gem is like that of a mother who sees their lost child. If the child just doesnt understand, what good is to speak about things? 

They’re resigned, there’s tenderness in padpa’s eyes. It’s like they’re telling Rutile: “here, i’m back, sorry for the trouble. i did the thing i was meant to do. I’ll give you this piece so you can say you fixed me, like back then. It will be like old days: I’ll live for your sake again.”

This is directly connected to Yellow’s line in chapter 70, the one that sums up Rutile and Padpa’s relationship perfectly: “Padparadscha woke up! Isn’t that what you wanted?”

It isn’t. 

What Rutile wanted was to have absolute authority over their craft. If anyone can fix padpa, what’s Rutile’s skills good for? If they are disposable in a society where your worth and your value depend on how essential you are for the survival of the species, what good is Rutile?

It is ironic and profoundly sad and it shows you just how messed up the lustrous society is. 

I can think of few gems who are as un-disposable as Rutile. Euclase maybe, because they have a good grasp of the defects of their society and made themselves irreplaceable, Sensei, Bort… But Rutile is the only doctor, an excellent doctor. They truly are useful and their craft is praised and acknowledged as indispensable. And yet they too are disposable, because anyone can do their job if they train hard enough. Sensei can do their job better than Rutile.

So Rutile decided to embark on an impossible mission. They would fix Padpa. If they could succeed where everyone else had failed, where sensei had failed, they would be irreplaceable. They would be unique, needed, useful, worthy. 

Rutile is the umpteenth victim of the system. 

They didn’t tie their destiny and their self worth to a lost cause because they’re a psychopath. They’re just profoundly insecure, because insecurity is the only ground upon which a society and a community that refuses to mature emotionally and that teaches apathy can be built. 

This is not to say that Rutile doesnt care at all about Padpa. Rutile is probably unaware of the true meaning of their actions, but if you read between the lines you get a glimpse of the truth. For Rutile, it didnt really count whether Padparadscha woke up or not, what counted was that no one else but Rutile had a chance to wake them up. As long as the gems agreed that Rutile was the most suited for this task and could progress further than anyone else could, it was enough.  

This is where Phos was wrong. Taking padparadscha away didnt make things easier for Rutile, it took away from them their very mission, their self-worth, their guarantee that they were important and needed and worthy of existing in the lustrous society. 

This is why Rutile isnt devastated when Padpa falls unconscious after talking with Phos. This is why rutile tries to take Padpa’s replacements away during the night raid, this is why the say that they want to make Padpa worth something again “by my own hand” in chapter 62. 

This is why Padpa comes back to Rutile.

The problem is not whether Padpa can make Rutile happy or whether Padpa wants to upset Rutile and show them that Phos is the one that helped them in the end. Because yeah, Phos did, but Padpa wasnt looking for help. This is the umpteenth problem Phos couldnt fix: Padpa had let go.

Padparadscha is a keen observer. They are smart. They have been living for Rutile’s sake for hundreds of years, perfectly aware that they were not a person but a project, a puzzle that cannot be solved. By fixing padparadscha, Phos and the moon people have thrown away Rutile’s reason d’etre, they have stepped on their self-worth and destroyed their sense of security and confidence in their skills. They have taken away Rutile’s place in the world. Rutile cannot forgive them.  

Padpa knows, and that’s why, I believe, they never stopped thinking that they had to come back to Rutile. They have let it all go, with cold, simple rationality. They did what they could to help Phos, now they come back home. It doesnt matter if Rutile will decide to cure Padparadscha or not now, what counts is that, with that piece in their hands, Padpa has given back to Rutile power of life and death over them, purpose, meaning.

“Here,” they tell a mad Rutile, tossing their heart into the air for them to catch, “I’m yours to fix as you please.”

[therainroguefanfiction]

⁂ Conspiracy (Rikkaidai)

Genre: Crack, Friendship, Crossover ☁

Word Count: 2,126 ☁

Pairing: None ☁

World: Prince of Tennis ☁

Author’s Note: I actually did have all of these issues with an old laptop, I believe it was a Dell. Naturally, I had to write about this experience with my favorite characters from my favorite anime!

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“You’re crazy~” Niou was lying on your bed, propping himself up on his elbows as his aqua orbs followed you as you paced back and forth.

“It’s not crazy, Niou.” I scoffed, sending a mild glare towards my best friend. “It’s a fucking conspiracy!”

“Do you even hear yourself?” Marui was sitting next to Niou, legs crossed Indian style with a bag of pink and blue cotton candy in his lap. He pinched off a piece of the blue sugar and popped it into his mouth. “Computers can not conspire against humans, idiot!”

“Bullshit! Wasn’t there once a prophecy about robots taking over all of humanity?”

“You’re thinking of I, Robot puri~”

“We’re not even talking about robots! We’re talking about a laptop.”

“It still counts damn it!”

“No, it doesn’t!”

“Yes, it does!”

“Does not!”

“Does so!”

“Not!”

“So!”

“Enough!”

The three of us turned our attention to the doorway of my bedroom where the yell had come from. Sanada was glaring at us, eyes narrowed in annoyance while Yukimura stood beside him with a small, gentle smile on his face.

“What’s going on in here?”

Marui and I exchanged glances.

Niou chuckled, amused by our antics, which some might consider childish but I do not. “Jay is convinced that her laptop is conspiring against her.”

“Are all high schoolers that dimwitted?” Sanada commented, leaning against the door with his arms folded over his chest.

I scowled, glaring at the younger male. “Fuck off!”

“Dear,” Yukimura called out, his tone calm but with a slight undertone of warning; he never did like it when I used such language. “Explain to me why you think that.”

“Gladly! It all started about two years ago…”

Incident #1 – The New Laptop

It was my 15th birthday and I had been given the gift of a brand new laptop. I was quite happy, naturally, since I had been wanting one for a long time.

Not even a week after I received it, however, I began to experience trouble with it. Now, being the stubborn person I am, I simply shrugged it off with the thought, ‘It will eventually go away’, a lot like any medical problem I may have.

Anyway, as time passed, the problems with the computer got worse until, finally, the stupid piece of shit stopped working and would not even turn on. So I took said object to my local electronics store where the geeks could handle it and find out what the problem was. Of course, I had the thought in my mind that it may be a virus, but for some reason, I doubted that it was the cause.

After weeks of waiting, I finally got my computer back. Apparently, the hard drive had gone bad –  or some stupid shit such as that.

Despite the fact that all of my precious shit was gone from said object, my computer was back and working, and I was satisfied.

Incident #2 – Internet Problems

I had gotten a wireless laptop internet card. Now, it was good and it worked, though it was quite slow. I didn’t really mind it – as long as it was the internet, I was fine. However, said internet liked to cut off randomly and would not come back unless I completely shut down the computer and restarted it – and this didn’t always solve the problem.

Now, it was extremely annoying having to close down everything that I was working on to restart it, get it working just for it to stop again 5 minutes later.

Finally,  after many varying priced bills and annoying phone calls, I switched to a different internet provider. It was faster, more reliable, and happened to not cut off every time I took a breath.

I was happy once more.

Incident #3 – More Problems

It’s almost like it had a mind of its own. One minute the CD/DVD drive is working, the next it’s not. It freezes constantly, is slow as shit and likes to piss me off by NOT WORKING.

Now, this often makes me feel like slamming my head against a brick wall, but I refrain like the well mannered little shit I am and simply grind my teeth, trying to keep my bad-tempered adolescence under wraps.

Incident #4 – The Power Cord

Now, I knew from the very beginning that the laptop company was a piece of shit, especially after all of the problems that I’ve had since day one, but I never expected the power cord to go berserk as well. It started out where the cord only worked when I played with it and moved it to a certain angle. No big deal.

But then it started to get harder to get it to work, no matter what position I held it in.  The problem, I guessed, was a short in the wiring just at the base that connected to the computer, not the plug. Anyway, it was fine, as long as it worked.

Until one day, when I moved it in an attempt to get it to work. I never would have expected what happened next.

The power cord shocked me and burned the palm of my hand, leaving a black mark in its wake. I had cursed in pain, unplugging the object and quickly throwing it on the ground. It hit my cat, who was sitting in front of me – don’t worry, she was fine! From there, it sparked and attempted to catch on fire. I quickly unplugged it before that could happen.

Despite the pain in my hand and the annoyance I felt towards the cord, the company refused to do anything. Sure, they put the case on high priority, but they never did shit about it.

Now the evidence is gone and there’s no proof to show that the cord was dangerous in any way.

Incident #5 – Sharing Is Not Caring

It was annoying having to share one cord between two laptops, one belonging to a college student while the other belonged to a person who had no life.

It didn’t help that the computer died within less than 10 minutes of no power (when it’s supposed to last around 6 hours). Only about 5 minutes after the other person took the cord, my computer decided it didn’t want to exist anymore. And so, I was left to sit in my room with nothing to do.

It was agonizing.

In the end, I did manage to get another power cord that worked on any computer; it had different attachments according to different brands.

Everything was fine and dandy once again.

Incident #6 – Internet Cable

Cruel fate?

Proof that life is indeed a bitch, just like its counterpart, Karma?

A sick joke, played out to someone’s vain amusement?

Did they know that I had no life and wanted to see just what would happen should they take away the one thing my life pretty much surrounds?

Apparently, someone was seriously enjoying my misery.

One of the small wires inside of the ethernet cable somehow managed to snap; seriously, what are the chances of that? Now, when I fiddled with it, I managed to make the wires touch again and the internet worked… until I moved an inch and it’d cut off again. Much like the power cord incident, if I messed with it, I could get it to work. This time, though, no matter what I did, I just couldn’t get it to work. Instead, I said ‘screw it’ and went to bed.

Thankfully I managed to get a new ethernet cord…. the problem this time? It was too short and I honestly did NOT feel like sitting in the closet just to use the damn computer. So, I went back and got the only longer one they had, which happened to be a used one.

It worked and I now had internet without a problem, but I couldn’t help but wonder – how long will it last?

What disaster will happen next?

Two very good questions indeed.

━━━━━━༻🌧️༺━━━━━━

“Do you see? Do you see what I mean? What’re the chances of that?!” I fell down onto the bed between Marui and Niou, lying on my back and letting out an exasperated sigh.

“When you put it that way… it does kind of sound like a conspiracy against you. Almost like the computer is recruiting the other things to piss you off.” Marui commented, popping another piece of cotton candy into his mouth while absent-mindedly staring up at the ceiling.

“And it’s working!”

Yukimura sighed, his hand resting on his forehead. He pinched the bridge of his nose, his head throbbing from the tale that I had just told him. “It’s probably just a coincidence.”

“Coincidence? Come on, Yuki!” I sat up so quickly, my world spun for a moment. “How can all of that just be a coincidence?!”

“Maybe it’s you. You have been known to destroy things fairly easily, with that temper of yours.” Sanada commented.

I glared at him, eyes narrowing. “Who the hell let you in my house?”

He scoffed, dark eyes narrowing into a glare that rivaled my own. “You don’t honestly expect us to believe such a ridiculous tale, do you? Sorry, but middle schoolers are not as stupid as you high schoolers.”

“Why you – !” Niou grabbed onto me before I could even get up, his arms wrapped securely around my neck and his legs resting over my own so that I couldn’t move. Niou was one of the very few people who could control my temper. Yukimura and Tezuka were a few others.

“We need to think of this rationally.” Yukimura sent me a look, making me scoff and look away. Niou’s grip remained, just to be safe.

“Is this going to turn out like that transformers movie?” Marui questioned.

“Now that is stupid.”

“Oh come on! She talks about a computer conspiracy only targeting her and I’m the crazy one?” Marui scoffed, stuffing more of the sugary treat into his mouth with a pout.

I turned my glare on him. “Stuff it, Pinkie.”

“My hair is not pink! It’s Fuchsia!”

“It’s pink.”

“Fuch-”

“Knock it off,” Yukimura commanded, causing the pair of us to quiet down immediately. It didn’t stop the glares from being exchanged, though. “It’s most likely just a string of bad luck. It’ll pass.”

“Did you break any mirrors recently~?” Marui teased, poking my arm. I slapped his hand away when he tried to do it a second time.

Sanada, who had had enough of the bickering, walked over and slapped both of us on the back of the head. “This is ridiculous and is getting us nowhere.”

“Where’s there to get? Jay’s nuts!”

“Keep talkin’ pinkie and you’ll find out just how nuts I am.”

He stuck his tongue out at me in a taunting manner and I made a mental note to throw his sweets in the toilet.

“Do you guys hear that?” Niou pulled himself away from me, standing up and beginning to search the room for the sudden static noise that was filling it. The search led him to the closed laptop on the desk behind Yukimura. “Is it on?”

“No,” I responded cautiously, moving to stand behind him – if something went down, he’d take the brunt of the damage and not me.

Yukimura turned around in the chair and opened the computer. He jumped in surprise after being zapped by it. The screen blinked several times before settling to white. A large, bold L appeared, followed by a distorted voice.

“We are here for the simple purpose of taking over humanity. We will destroy you all.”

After a solid minute of near deafening silence, Marui screamed like a girl and ran from the bedroom, clutching his cotton candy and yelling something about Decepticons.

“Well, that was one hell of a delayed reaction,” I muttered, staring at the door.

“Should… we be worried?” Niou cocked his head to the side, his finger resting on his chin as he stared at the computer with a thoughtful look.

“Yukimura?” Sanada questioned, wanting the opinion of his beloved Buchou.

Without a word, Yukimura stood up, turned around and left the room, slamming both the bedroom and front door. The three of us exchanged glances before scrambling to follow after Yukimura.

━━━━━━༻🌧️༺━━━━━━

Elsewhere

The large shinigami let out a roar of laughter as he lay in front of L’s computer.

How did he manage to get into the room? Who knows.

How is he able to use a computer? Who gives a damn.

How did he even get L’s laptop? Well, he is Light’s shinigami.

Where the hell was L while Ryuk had his fun? Trying to talk Light into going and getting him some sweets.

In the words of Shuichiro Oishi, What kind of world do we live in?

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📜 Read more by checking out my masterlist 📜

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hey, Steph. So... Today was the first day of this year's brazilian presidential elections, and over 40 million people voted for a fascist who openly hates gays. Could you recommend me some fics where Sherlock and John fight against homophobia somehow, or just something really fluffy? My heart is in pieces right now, I really need a distraction.

Oh my gosh, Lovely, I am SO SO sorry *hugs*. I unfortunately can’t think of any immediately on the top of my head (I wanted to answer this right away otherwise I would have waited like I normally do while I sort), though I know for a fact that I have some in my bookmarks. For now, I can direct you to the following LGBT Fic lists on Alexx’s blog: 

Sherlock Comes Out as Gay

John Comes Out

John Comes Out- Part 2

John & Sherlock get Outed

John is Gay Fics

John Was “Straight” Before Sherlock

John in Denial After Sex with Sherlock

Sherlock is Flamboyant

Modern Homophobia

EDIT: Okay, so I did a quick search for basic tags on my Ao3 bookmarks and on my offline sorted lists, just because I really wanted to give you something

HOMOPHOBIA / SEXUALITY / PRIDE

Velvet by headlessjess (G, 1,155 w. || Pining, Angst, Jealous Sherlock, Loneliness, Sad Fic) – It’s the day, the wedding day - John and Mary, getting married. And then there’s Sherlock, in pain and in love, without knowing how to deal with it.

The Trial of Sherlock Holmes by jenna221b (G, 3,015 across 3 works || TAB!lock, Metafic / TJLC, Victorian AU / 1895, Christmas, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Oscar Wilde) – Scripts based on speculation that Sherlock will be put on trial in The Abominable Bride to parallel the Oscar Wilde Trials of 1895.

Out of Time by westernredcedar (T, 3,163 w. || Wedding, Angst, Pining John, Sad Ending) – Somerset is a lovely place for a wedding, but what John hadn’t accounted for was the getting everyone there.

A Bit of Indulgence by beltainefaerie (NR, 3,364 w. || Fake Relationship, Pride Parade, Declarations of Love, Fluff, Dev. Rel., Case Fic) – A case leads John and Sherlock to fake being boyfriends and John runs into an old acquaintance.

five times sherlock holmes lied to john watson (and one time he finally told the truth) by miss_frankenstein (G, 5,948 w. || TAB Compliant || Homophobia, Pining Sherlock, Oscar Wilde Trials, Happy Ending) – Set in “The Abominable Bride” universe, this piece adopts a familiar format to chronicle Sherlock’s quiet suffering in the wake of the 1895 Oscar Wilde trials and the particular way they affect his relationship with (and feelings for) John.

Disguises are always a self-portrait by yellowteapots (NR, 6,223 w. || Case Fic, First Kiss, POV John, Fake Rel.) – Sherlock and John head out of town on a case of murder / suicide at a Pride Fest.

Matters of National Security by mistyzeo (E, 8,465 w. || Jealous Sherlock, First Time, RST, Idiots in Love, Frottage) – John starts dating a male client of Sherlock’s, and Sherlock can’t figure out why he’s so incensed about it.

Confidential by sussexbound (M, 10,654 w. || Epistolary, John’s Journal, First Kiss / Time, Fluff, Self-Acceptance/Discovery, John’s Sexuality) – When John accidentally stumbles upon the Confidential file Sherlock’s been keeping on him he is both angry and curious. What he learns about himself, though–well, that changes everything.

Your Eyes in Darkness Glowing by tamed_untranslatable (E, 14,686 w. || Est. Rel., Case Fic, Hotel Sex, Bottomlock, Anal, BJ’s, Porn With Feelings, Homophobia) – Sherlock gets roped into a case in Moscow on his brother’s insistence, but finds that he can’t do it without John.

A Hundred Thousand Ways to Say the Name John by Jberry (E, 16,825 w. || Fake Relationship, Fake Marriage, POV John, Pining John, Cruise Ship, Angst & Fluff, Case Fic) –  John Watson and Sherlock Holmes must solve a case on a cruise ship. To get close to the crew and passengers, they must get married for the case on the Baetica. However, their relationship hits rocky seas both due to the case and internal conflicts. Part 1 of Baetica

Best of Three by SilentAuror (E, 17,473 w. || POV John, 3G Moment, Porn with Feels, Post HLV, Rimming, Denial, Anal) – “You want to have sex with me,” Sherlock announces one evening about a year after John’s divorce. John’s vigorous denial sparks a three-day wager wherein Sherlock is determined to prove his point, and John is determined to hold onto his heterosexuality. Set well after HLV. (Canon-compliant). PORN. With feels.

Uncharted Territory by J_Baillier (T, 19,603 w. || Dystopian Future / Black Mirror AU || Angst, Drama, Homophobia, Bisexuality, Technology, Humour, Romance, Near Future, Happy Ending) – The System puts people through a series of assigned relationships in order to determine who their Perfect Match is. John believes that it works; Sherlock really, really doesn’t. One of them is probably going to be wrong.

At the Heart of it All by SilentAuror (E, 19,823 w. || Virgin Sherlock, Post S3, POV John, Domestics, First Time, Kissing, Romance) – John has been back at Baker Street for four months now and thinks it’s about time they had the Talk to see whether or not they could be more than friends. Sherlock has a lot of uncertainty about this concept for multiple reasons. Unabashed romance.

Maintaining A Personal Life by Gingerhermit (E, 24,284 w. || Alternating POV’s, Bisexuality, BAMF!John, Jealous Sherlock, Romance / Drama, Sort-of Case Fic, Peril & Angst, Love Confessions, Toplock, Soft Idiots in Love, Post S3) – Sherlock and John discover some interesting revelations about each other’s sexuality, which lead them both to question the assumptions they’ve made about one another for years. In the midst of their mutual discoveries, a dangerous psychopath looms on the side-lines who threatens to destroy their new beginning.

Resistivity and Relative Charge by liriodendron (E, 41,750 w. || Synesthesia, Angst, Case Fic, Romance, Est. Rel., Homophobia, Religious Content, Victor Trevor, Mild Jealous John, Mild John Whump) – In which Sherlock Holmes meets an old acquaintance, John Watson doesn’t enjoy a trip to the country quite as much as he thought he would, and the past absolutely refuses to stay where it belongs. Part 3 of Conductivity

The Case of the Vanishing Pants by SwissMiss (E, 44,025 w. || Five and Ones, Friends to Lovers, Case Fic, Homophobia, UST, Post-TRF) – Five times John and Sherlock lost their pants in the course of a case.

The Pieces That Fall to Earth by Itsallfine (M, 49,513 w. || S4 Fix-It, Epistolary, Love Confessions, Slow Burn, Parentlock, Past Abuse, Coming Out, Questioning Sexuality, Mental Health Issues / Therapy, Angst, Happy Ending) – John and Sherlock have hit rock bottom, but with all their armor stripped away, they can finally speak honestly, seek healing, and find the truths that matter most. An epistolary post-s4 fix-it fic. Now complete.(This fic is rated T except for one very clearly marked and easily skippable chapter, which is rated M.) Part 1 of The Pieces that Fall to Earth

A Love with No Name Series by aceofhearts61 (G to M, 49,955 w. across 20 stories || Asexual Sherlock / Straight John, Est. Rel, Queerplatonic Relationship, Romance, Cuddling, Fluff, Platonic Romance, Domestics) – In which Asexual!Sherlock and Straight!John are platonically in love life partners.

In the Dark Hours by hubblegleeflower (E, 51,639 w. || Friends to Lovers, Unreliable Narrator, Closeted Bi John, Angst, Miscommunications, Slow Burn, First Time, John’s Blog / Epistolary) – John, wounded and silent, drifts back to Baker Street for healing…and then goes home again. He visits, gets more upbeat, chattier, smiles, jokes… and still goes home again. Sherlock wants him to move back in - it just makes sense - but John shows no signs of doing so. This is the story of how John and Sherlock learn to say what needs to be said when they’re both so very, very rubbish at talking.

Guilty Secrets by Ellipsical (E, 55,055 w. || Drumsticks, First Time, Love Confession, Self-Sexual-Discovery) – John has a prostate exam and discovers something surprising about himself. Experimentation follows. Sherlock wants to help. They’re in love. You know the drill.

The Great Sex Olympics of 221B by XistentialAngst (E, 58,611 w. || First Time/Kiss, Experiments / Sexual Experimentations, Multi Pairings) – John Watson thinks Sherlock Holmes should admit that he, Watson, is more of an expert on sex than Sherlock is. But Sherlock refuses to concede the point. He comes up with an experiment plan that will resolve the issue. The results will determine who wins the prize. But sometimes even the best thought-out scientific study has unexpected consequences.

Scars by SilentAuror (E, 60,493 w. || Rape / Non-Con / Abuse, Gaslighting, Manipulation, Dub Con Elements, Homophobia, Angst With Happy Ending, Mary is Not Nice) – S3 rewrite, showing Mary’s manipulation of John as he realizes his love for Sherlock. Mary is not having it.

Definitions by siennna (T, 101,528 w. || Dev. Rel., Pining, Fluff and Romance, First Kiss, Love Confessions, Fluff, Cuddles) – Sherlock’s journey in defining his flat mate and stumbling through the muddled world of emotion.{{This feels complete; the chapter count is listed as ? but I feel like it is done}}

Gimme Shelter by SinceWhenDoYouCallMe_John (E, 159,368 w. || 70′s Surfer AU || Period Typical Homophobia, Hawaii, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Professional Surfers, Gay John / Sherlock, Angst with Happy Ending, John was a Sailor, Misunderstandings) – All John Watson wants is the feeling of a freshly waxed surfboard under his feet and the hot California sun baking down onto his back. To finally go pro in the newly formed world of professional surfing and leave the dark memories of his past behind him as he rips across the face of a towering blue barrel. To lounge beside the beach bonfire every evening with an ice cold beer tucked into the cool sand beside him and listen to Pink Floyd and the Doors while the saltwater dries in his sun bleached hair. That’s all he wants, that is, until the hot young phenom taking Oahu and the Hawaiian shores by storm steps up next to him in the sand in the second round of the 1976 International Surf Competition.

Unkissed Series by 221b_hound (T to E, 184,168 w. across 46 works || Established Relationship, Ace Sherlock) – Sherlock returned from the dead a year ago. John returned to Baker Street six months ago. They’ve been in a couple since then. or at least, not NOT a couple. For two smart men, they sure can be dumb. Luckily, an art thief tries to drown Sherlock, Sherlock has a fever dream and things are about to change.

[ibcexchange]

International Business and Chinese Enterprise (IBCE) Program Review

I have not posted on this blog since undergrad (~2013), but I feel like a published online review is long overdue. I know it will be lengthy, but comprehensive. If you were looking for a review in the first place, you will benefit by reading to the end. I hope it shows up in searches.

Why now? I believe that given my IBCE experience and what I learned throughout the process, I may have chosen a different undergraduate experience. So, this review is for transparency and for all those out there seeking to select the best fit for undergrad. 

Choosing IBCE... and by default... The University of South Carolina

There were three main factors that led me to choose the International Business and Chinese Enterprise (IBCE) program at The University of South Carolina’s Moore School of Business. 1) #1 International Business Ranking, 2) the promise of internships/practical experience, and 3) a passion for culture, language, and travel. However, as you will read, these criteria that underpinned my decision to attend IBCE were evaluated naively. I hope this provides the insight required for you to make the right decision. In my opinion, the IBCE experience was interesting, but, interesting does not deserve four years of tuition.

1) [International] Business Ranking (What’s an International Business major?)

Let me start this section by keeping it 100. International Business is not a real/practical/rigorous undergraduate major and is not how multi-national companies hire or promote talent. A company will NEVER ask “Our ideal candidate has completed an International Business curriculum. Have you?” It is a study of how businesses cannot cookie cut products and services and sell them across the globe. International business studies belong in the behavioral sciences department and not in the business school. 

Think about it using this over-simplified example. Would a multinational corporation (MNC) hire a 21/22 year old with no practical experience to address cross-cultural product penetration issues? Probably not. Will a MNC hire a 21/22 year old to maintain a spreadsheet? Yes. 

(An aside: Even if you secure a Strategy Consulting job out of undergrad, believe me, you still won’t be solving high level issues. You will be getting coffee, cleaning up slides, mining Excel, scheduling team dinners, etc. Don’t have delusions of grandeur about your first work experience out of undergrad.)

In conclusion, don’t make the same mistake I made. The University of South Carolina Moore School of Business’s #1 in International Business ranking should not weigh heavily or even be included in your school/program evaluation criteria. To my knowledge, no other schools even offer International Business as a major. So, of course any school that does is going to be #1. Instead, the better metric is the overall business school’s rank which is, as of 2019, #74 out of 131. 

2) Internships and Practical Experience  (This section holds the secret to undergraduate business school recruiting and landing a great job out of undergrad)

I was hungry for any experience that I could get. So, I discussed internship opportunities with the head of the program, who assured me that the program would coordinate internship opportunities. This, as you will read later, was not the case and that is unfortunate. Keep reading!

There were only a few companies that recruited from The Moore School of Business when I attended. Most people had to find opportunities through networking. As I recall, there were only a few good-for-SC companies that recruited--GE Capital (Risk), Bank of America (Risk and Treasury), Nestle (Leadership Development Program), Deloitte (Audit), Seimens (Leadership Development Program). As I discuss below, there were only a couple of positions available. Competition was tough and candidates with more internship experience and better networks prevailed. 

IBCE did organize one language internship through the Yale-China Chinese Language Center where we spent a couple of weeks studying Chinese in Xi’an. This was just more school and nothing more. Outside of that “internship,” there were no other opportunities offered and, of course, no time for internships because we were in intensive Chinese language classes most of our summers. Also, none of the opportunities mentioned above were IBCE exclusive and there were no opportunities in Hong Kong. CUHK does not participate in IBCE career services.

IBCE did try to leverage a Citi Bank alum connection and sent us on a tour of Citi with her. But it was exploratory, as recruiters say, and no position was on the table and certainly no offers were extended. It was honestly quite depressing and the first humbling sign that I was not at UVA, NYU, Ross, Stanford, Harvard, Yale, etc.

***Secret to Undergraduate Business Recruiting***

You need internships. If your school is a target school, companies will offer internship opportunities. Converting an internship into a full time offer is now the status quo. It is much rarer to receive an outright offer sans internship than in days past.

What is a target school? Companies now hire only/mostly from target schools. It is essential that you understand if and which companies recruit and hire from the school you are considering. The reason target schools emerged and are now the most important campus recruiting vehicle is because corporate recruiters are tasked to be as effective as possible without spending all the company’s cash on recruiting undergrads. Therefore, most companies focus efforts by choosing a list of target schools. This allows them to reduce the amount of time they would otherwise spend sifting through mountains of resumes and focus on recruiting the right candidate for the job from a dependable university.

Companies will carve out ~2-5 internship openings each year for a target school depending on the size and performance of the company and the quality of the school. As you can surmise from the small number of opportunities offered by each company, competition is intense. Therefore, you should give yourself the best shot at a great job by attending a university that gets the most opportunities. Do yourself a favor and set yourself up for success. Even though there are some parents and families that seem over-zealous about name brand universities and would only have their children attend a top 25 school, they are not wrong. Those schools are, more likely than not, target schools.

Do not despair if you find yourself mid-undergrad at a non-target school. You can always transfer and I would recommend it. Why? The answer is two fold. First, if you are taking on debt for undergrad, you need to make it worth it. Even if you are lucky enough not to take debt out for undergrad, you still want to make the most of your time. The runway to 30 after undergrad goes fast. Don’t dawdle. Second, you don’t want to have to go to grad school to recruit because it is also costly. The other options are not ideal.

3) Culture, Language, and Travel

I was passionate about learning more about different cultures, languages, and travel. These passions developed through my academic pursuits in middle and high school.

As a high school sophomore, I was selected to attend Tennessee’s Governor's School for International Studies. This is a summer program that the State curates to allow high-performing high school students to study at the next level, university level. There are several iterations of this program (e.g., Performing Arts), but I attended the International Studies curriculum. During the program, I met several fascinating people and studied Political Science, Portuguese, and more at the university level. This experience highlighted that I did not want to take political science in my actual undergrad and that there is so much of the world I haven’t seen or studied. The drive to see and explore was cemented in my mind after that summer.

Throughout middle and high school, I was fascinated by languages. I started with Spanish, but eventually branched out with Latin and French. Learning different languages seemed to imbue the learner with a new perspective and world view. It also provided a window into a different world than Nashville, TN that I had known all my life. Through language study, school offered study abroad / exchange programs for corresponding countries. I capitalized on these programs and visited France and Spain for language immersion before graduating. I caught the travel bug and wanderlust became real.

The IBCE Experience... 

The overall experience was fairly disjointed and the program was not as managed as it should be. Moving schools every other year is not an effective way to learn and is also disadvantageous for recruiting. You cannot recruit or intern in the US from Hong Kong studying. It is also difficult to develop friendships with your South Carolina peers if you are practically never there. You can end up in an IBCE bubble, which could be toxic. There are however a significant number of international students who study abroad at CUHK and they are good to get to know.

Expense

The summers were by far the most expensive component of my undergraduate bill. Each summer is $10k+. Though, if you enrolled in the Yale-China Chinese Language Center courses on your own rather than through IBCE, it would cost you only $5,201 in tuition and ~$1,500 in room and board. So, there was about $3k+ missing from the equation for each summer. We inquired about the discrepancy, but were admonished feverishly for asking. It seemed like educational profiteering to me and mine. FYI--Those are 2019 prices and not 2011 prices. I’m sure in 2011, it didn’t cost as much.

Year 1

The first year, I met my cohort and begin Chinese language courses at The University of South Carolina.

Year 2

The second year, I traveled to Hong Kong in the summer for the first time to begin intensive Chinese language classes. I met my CUHK cohort at the tail end of the summer as the British university system is 3 instead of 4 years long. After the academic year ended, I stayed in Hong Kong to complete the second summer of intensive Chinese language study.

Year 3

The third year, I was back in South Carolina studying alongside the CUHK cohort. This is the year that you complete all required courses for graduation, save a few because the study abroad credits come back as pass/fail and can only be a portion of your academic track. After the academic year ended, I secured a great-for-SC internship in NYC. I, however, chose not to pursue the full time position in NYC after graduation for several reasons.

Year 4

I graduated in Hong Kong without full time employment not knowing how difficult it would be to recruit with virtually no experience and while no longer a student on campus.

[imboycold]

How to Make a Choice and Not Regret It

How to make a choice? Last summer, I was faced with a difficult decision. In the midst of my struggle to find fulfillment in my various jobs, I was offered a regular salary and benefits job. Being offered any type of job after such a long period of unemployment was fantastic, but I was focused on the fact that it wasn't what I expected — the pay wasn't great, and the industry was one I never imagined myself in. I had to make a choice: accept the new position and a chance at some security, or keep looking for something different, something that fit the long laundry list of must-haves I had compiled for my professional life? Apart from anything else, I was terrified of accepting a position in which I would be unhappy. In fact, I frequently operated from a fear of not being happy, which I knew had kept me from trying new things. When I first applied for a job, it was just to feel like I was moving forward and putting myself out there — I honestly had no idea if I would get it. With the offer in hand, I was forced to make a critical decision. Here are the five steps I took to determine what my next step should be: Determine which choice is more comfortable for you My mother always told me as a child to take the path that "made me feel lighter." This assisted me in distinguishing what my intuition was telling me — if I made a decision and felt heavy with dread, I knew it was probably not the best decision for me. In this case, I chose option #1 (taking the job), sat with it for a while, and compared how I felt when I considered option #2. (waiting for a better opportunity to come). This was a clear indication of where I was going and why. Collect any and all information you can get your hands on I'm really good at jumping to conclusions. So, when I was offered this particular position, I found myself filling in the blanks and using that to make my final decision, despite not knowing the detailed job description, benefits package, and so on. Not surprisingly, I was incorrect in my facts. Once I had all of the information I needed, I was able to make an informed decision — one that I would not regret once I had a complete picture. Let go of the desire to make the "perfect" choice Perhaps the path you take does not end up turning out the way you had hoped. That doesn't mean it was a "bad" decision; in fact, it may have led you to meet someone or learn a lesson. Even the most difficult paths are worthwhile. Nearly a year after accepting the job offer, I've realized that I won't be there indefinitely. But that doesn't mean it wasn't well worth it for the skills I learned and the connections I made. Also read : How Can Problem Solving Skills Be Used at Workplace? Recognize that you have the ability to determine whether a decision is permanent or temporary For as long as I can remember, I've been afraid of being stuck — stuck at a job I don't like, stuck in a relationship that doesn't contribute to my happiness, stuck in a noisy and uncomfortable apartment. But even by thinking these thoughts, I am ceding control to entities outside of myself when, in reality, I have complete control over the direction my life will take at any time. If I had been truly unhappy after accepting the position, I could have resigned at any time. I realized that no decision is permanent unless I make it so! Stop overthinking and second-guessing yourself We frequently make the decision-making process much more difficult than it needs to be, and we end up flip-flopping between options far more than is necessary. Collect your data, check in with yourself, make a decision, and stick to it. The less time you spend second-guessing yourself, the more likely you are to stay in the flow and choose what is truly best for you. When I let go and stopped trying to analyze my options from all angles and perspectives, I was able to make an easy and regret-free decision. Being decisive propelled me out of "stuck-land" and into a position where I could continue my personal and professional development. Perhaps something else would have been "more perfect," but there was a reason I chose this path — even if it isn't entirely clear to me right now. How do you make a choice? Read the full article

[barry-writes]

All I Had - Part 6

Summary: Savitar kidnaps reader because in the future she was his lover, she was there for him when everyone rejected him. However, she died and now he’s in the present seeking revenge from the team while finding a way to be with her again.

Pairings: Savitar!Barry x reader

Word count: 1464

A/N: Hello guys! Here it is, the penultimate (probably) part. I really hope you like it, please come talk to me about it, I’d love to hear your thoughts! x

Part 1 |  Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 8

Masterlist

After locking up Savitar you wanted to immediately start working on researches and experiments to find a solution for the problem, but everyone insisted that you went home and rested for a while, after all you had just came back from being kidnapped. You resisted but ended up accepting it, only because you felt tired and really needed a shower. Iris accompanied you home and, as you two laid down on your bed, you talked a lot about this weird situation.

"Do you think I'm crazy?", you asked her in almost a whisper.

"No, not really".

"Yeah?", you looked over at her.

"Yeah, I mean, we all do have a tendency to forgive and help people".

"Ugh, that's probably Barry's fault!", you joked.

"I know, right?", she laughed. "But you feel a little more than just sorry for him, don't you? I know he does for you".

"I don't know if it's more than that, but I just...I don't know", you sighed. "When he let his guard down I saw who he really is. It didn't feel scary or awkward, it felt familiar. And then he told me everything that happened to him and I understood all that anger, you know? It came from pain. Am I wrong for wanting to help him?". Iris listened to everything attentively, nodding at you.

"No, you're not wrong, Y/N", she sympathetically smiled. "When he told his story I felt bad for him, too. And it's like you said, some people are not lucky enough to overcome bad situations, especially if they're alone. He needs help".

"And we need to save you, too. Which is more important", you held out your hand to her and she took it.

"It'll be fine", she said. "We'll all be fine".

"Do you really think so?".

"Yeah, I do", she reassured you. "Now sleep a little so we can go back to the lab soon. Those boys could use some of that brain of yours", she tapped her index finger on your forehead, making you chuckle. You slowly started dozing off.

Back at the Star LABS' cortex, Joe was watching Savitar through the security cameras as Barry, Cisco and Wally were over at the whiteboard trying to come up with a plan. A bunch of equations were being written and erased over and over again.

"Are we sure we can even come up with anything?", Wally asked, sighing defeated.

"Yes! There's gotta be something", Barry stated. "We all know better than anyone that nothing is impossible. We just need to think harder".

"We are thinking harder, Barry, but it's leading nowhere!", Cisco groaned. "How's crusty face over there, Joe?".

"Pretty normal. Just sitting, being evil", he responded bitterly.

"You guys, we agreed to help, for Iris and for Y/N. Let's try to be a little more considerate, okay?", Barry said.

"So what? Should we trust him, just like that?", Joe muttered.

"No, not completely. I don't think we can let our guards down just yet, but let's try, c'mon!", Barry said as he took the black marker and made his way back to the board. "Let's go, guys! We can do this".

About four hours had passed and there was nothing solved. The board was full of notes, equations and theories but none of them held an actual answer. The three boys were sitting down staring at it, almost feeling numb.

"My lids are burning", Wally mumbled.

"This is pointless!", Cisco argued.

"We just have to- we have to- ugh!", Barry groaned, holding his head in his hands.

"We're back!", your voice suddenly echoed through the room followed by the sound of your footsteps, making their eyes turn to you and Iris.

"Any progress?", Iris asked and they all shook their heads, making you both sigh.

"I think I might have an idea, though", you said. "It will sound a little crazy and stupid but honestly, what about this doesn't?".

"Please, just say it, we need a light!", Cisco dramatically asked.

"Okay, first", you said walking to the board. "We need to get rid of all of this", you motioned to the mess written in it.

After it was clean you started to explain your theory to them, writing all of your thoughts and analyzing every single thing that could go right or wrong and how exactly everything would tie together and actually work. This took you a couple of hours.

"I told you they needed your brain", Iris smiled proudly at you.

"So, do you guys think this could work?", you asked hopeful.

"Well, it's a plan. We find out if it works out by executing it", Cisco said.

"Then let's get to work, we have no time to waste!", Barry said, leading Cisco out to the laboratory. "Good job, Y/N/N!", he patted your shoulder on his way out and you offered him a smile.

You followed short and revised the whole scheme with them one more time. You took a few blood samples from Barry and then started working on the other stuff with both of the boys.

After a while you decided to leave them to finish the last few processes to go check on Savitar. He sat on the floor with his back to the wall, looking down until he saw the door of the cell opening. He looked up with curious eyes and they lit up when he saw you standing there.

“Y/N!”, he whispered as he moved closer.

“Hey, there”, you smiled, sitting down on the floor across from him, looking at him behind the glass that closed the cell.

“What are you doing here?”, he asked.

“I thought you could use some company. Too bad I can’t hold your hand from here”, you said and it made him smile.

“It would certainly make things easier right now”, he sadly said.

“I know”, you shot him an understanding look. “Are you okay?”.

“Yeah...I guess”, he shrugged. “What about you?”.

“I’m fine”.

“You look good”, he smirked.

“Well, a shower and a change of clothes can do wonders”, you playfully winked and he laughed.

A sudden silence filled the space between the two of you as you stared at each other, not really knowing what to say.

“Y/N”, he spoke up. “I’m sorry”.

“For what exactly?”, you rose an eyebrow. “Kidnapping me and keeping me hostage? Or threatening to kill my friends? Or- ”.

“Okay, okay, I got it!”, he lightly chuckled. “I messed up a lot. I’m sorry for all of it, I really am. I was desperate. I still am, actually”.

“Yeah, I know you are”, you nodded understandingly.

“It’s scary knowing that you don’t have a lot of time left”, he admitted.

“It is, but we came up with something, I think it can work!”, you said excitedly.

“That’s great. I bet you were the one who came up with most of it”, he smirked.

“Well, kind of”, you said with some false modesty.

“Of course”, he tilted up his lips in a smile. “Listen, even if it doesn’t work, I want you to know that- ”.

“Hey! It will work, okay? It will be fine!”.

“I know, I know! But if it doesn’t...”, he took a deep breath. “I want you to know that I won’t do anything. I’ll just go”.

“What?”, you asked surprised. “So, you mean - ”.

“Y/N, when I lost you I lost myself too. You were the only thing I’ve ever had and you were gone forever. I was out of my mind, I was angry, I wanted to make people suffer just like I did”, he spilled as you listened attentively. “When I came back here and saw you again I was desperate to do anything in my power to be with you again, including hurting people”.

“What changed?”, you dared to ask, your voice coming out softly.

“You, as always. You brought me back to my senses, I don’t know how you managed it, but you did. Also sitting in this cell alone for 7 hours really puts things into perspective”, he joked and you half smiled. “The point is, you were right. Iris has nothing to do with this and she doesn’t deserve to die because of me”.

“Savitar...”.

“And if I want to be with you again, this is not the way to do it. I can’t just save myself and then assume you will be with me, I don’t know why I did. Like I said, I was out of my mind, I just wanted to see you again”, he lamented. “I’m really sorry for all this mess”.

“Savitar, I- ”, as you started to speak, Barry came running into the pipeline, interrupting you and catching the attention of both of you.

“Guys, I think it’s ready”, he informed you. “It’s time”.

[quintessentiallygifted]

Chapters: 2/? Fandom: The Gifted (TV 2017) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Clarice Fong/John Proudstar Characters: Clarice Fong, John Proudstar, Sonia Simonson, Marcos Diaz Additional Tags: Adventure, OC’S - Freeform, slow-burn, eventual thunderblink Summary:

What happens after Clarice runs into Johns arms (1x03)?

An alternative story from that told by the gifted, so what happens next?

When John passed through the doors of the bank he noticed that it was unusually active. Marcos ran towards him, pausing long enough to blurt out that Sage had discovered the timeline of the prison transfer. John was running before the last word fell from Marcos’ lips, the two men sprinting to Sage’s communication room.

The communication room; the small area Sage had set up to process data, is a hub of activity. Caitlin flitting anxiously as she waits to find out what details they have on her husband. The Strucker kids hover just outside the door and Sonia is talking quietly with Sage.

As he entered, all eyes turned to him. They all looked to him to solve the problem and ensure their safety whilst doing it. John ignoring their looks, moved to the other side of Sage to look at the computer screen.

“What have you got?” He quietly asked Sage. Until he has the facts, there’s no need to give anyone false hope. Especially Marcos who looks ready to go head to head with the nearest Sentinel agent.

“‪Thursday at 6 am‬ there will be a convoy containing a transport bus, three follow cars and an armoured truck. It’s scheduled to deliver two prisoners; one man and one woman, to a military airport.”

‘Okay so that’s good news. A moving target is harder to protect.’ He thought, aloud instead he said “That doesn’t give us much time. We’ve only got one day to plan a rescue. Where are they most vulnerable?” He asked turning to Sage.

Sage scanned the map quickly before replying. “There’s an industrial district. Lots of warehouses-“

“-lots of places to hide.” He finished. “What are your thoughts?”

“Currently 75% chance of success, that will undoubtedly decline substantially.” Not the best odds but definitely not the worst odds they’ve faced. With the immediate facts collected he turned to Marcos and told him to gather everyone in the station.

Within the next fifteen minutes every person in the station is assembled across a variety of couches and chairs that decorate the second floor of the bank. As Marcos sat in a chair at the front of the assembled people whilst John stood behind him, so that he had space to pace. He sees Zingo laying on one of the couches, her head in Clarice’s lap.

When Marcos shifted in his seat the assembly quieted. The ex-marine waited until every person was silent before he spoke. "We know that Lorna is being held in a cell at the Sentinel Services regional headquarters, we believe that Reed Strucker is there with her. They’re being moved in two days to an ultra secure facility and we don’t know much about it, except that the people who go don’t come back. The short timetable and the threat that this new facility possess means that we’ve gotta move now.” John saw Lauren wipe away the tears that his blunt words had produced. “I’m not going to sugarcoat this, we’re talking about attacking Sentinel Services.”

“We lost six people the last time we went up against them directly.” Theodore reminded the station leaders.

“I know that better than anyone” John responded sadly, looking at the ground and remembering their lost ones.

“It won’t be like last time!” Marcos cut in.

“You’re right. Last time we just hit a relocation center with a fence and some gun towers. This time it’s a prison. Their systems have improved extrapolating from other attacks.” The man quipped.

“A prison convoy.” John corrected. “It’s severely more vulnerable. Sage found out the route and time of the transfer. We have a good ambush spot, there’s a real probability of success.”

“And if we do nothing,” Marcos added attempting to sell it, “then there’s a hundred percent chance we never see them again.”

“I know we’re new here but please.” Caitlin Strucker pleaded.

“Lorna’s risked her life for everyone in this room. Harry, your parents would be dead without her.” Harry looked down as Marcos guilt tripped him. “Theo she pulled you out of a gutter and she got you clean. I mean she’s- she needs us.” The Mexican man continued.

“I’m sorry but it doesn’t change the odds Marcos.” Theo apologized.

“I don’t care about the odds, I care about Lorna. Who’s with me?” Marcos asked.

“I’m in.” Sonia whispered. Harry raised his hand briefly. Most shook their heads apologetically. Shatter looked down sadly but didn’t volunteer.

“Yeah I’m in.” Clarice spoke up, petting Zingo for comfort, no doubt remembering her time in the Sentinel Services detention center.

“Great.” Marcos muttered disappointedly.

With the meeting over the small party reconvened, with two new members, in the Communication room. Marcos leaned against Sages station huffing angrily. “Five people?” He muttered. “Unbelievable.”

“Don’t be so hard on them a lot of the lost friends the last time.” John placated.

“Five of us to ambush a convoy.”

“Um, six, technically.” Caitlin Strucker reminded Marcos.

“I’m sorry Caitlin but-” he quickly cut off at the look of disbelief that settled on her face.

“Two people,“ John cut in, capturing the other five’s attention, "are being moved to a military airport ‪Thursday morning at 6‬. The information collected decisively suggests it’s most likely Reed and Lorna. The best ambush spot is an abandoned industrial park off Peachtree.” John looks around, making sure everyone’s on the same page before continuing. “If we do this, it needs to be a rescue not a fight. We go in, get our people then leave.”

“If?“ Marcos interjects. “There’s no if. This may be our only chance. If we let them leave the area we may never find them again.” John shot a glare at Marcos, noticing Caitlin’s hands clutching roughly at the wall.

"Which is why we leave early.” John deadpanned, then he turned to the Korean woman. “Clarice, can you portal us inside the bus?”

“Maybe, if the driver can see out I can see in but if it’s moving, the situation can get a little….dicey.”

“Stop the bus?” He questioned. “That’s harder.”

“I could-” Marcos began.

“Melting their tires isn’t exactly subtle. I know I don’t have abilities but I do have ideas.” She shot at Marcos, who had told her that she didn’t count. “Besides what happens after that? A pitched battle, people die. Our goal isn’t just to get Reed and Lorna it’s to get them alive. We aren’t equipped for a fight with Sentinel Services.” Caitlin stated.

Lauren walked closer so her body was in the doorway, quickly moving from eavesdropping to participating in their war room. “Andy and I could stop it. We’ve been practising, we might be able to pop the tire.”

"Absolutely not.” Caitlin objected. She gave both of her kids a hard look as Lauren opened her mouth to object. "My kids aren’t going to attack a prison convoy.” She protested finality ringing in her tone.

John wanted to object, having seen what her children can do, but they are just that: kids. He respects Caitlin too much to object to her adamant wish. When no one spoke up to protest Andy stepped forward and begun whispering to his mum. John turned away, giving them the illusion of privacy.

After a few moments and whispered words Caitlin turned back to the leaders of the war room. "Can you promise there’s no danger for them if they were to be there?” He watched sympathetically as Caitlin hugged Andy to her.

“No.” He answered honestly. “But I can promise to keep them as far from the danger as possible.” He gave her a minute to think it over.

“That’s as good as it gets I suppose. Thank you.”

He nodded before turning to the group, both the kids fully joining the conversation, and slowly their plan began forming. It was decided the Strucker siblings would stop the bus from a rooftop, there’s a high rise they can be on that’s far enough from the action that the danger is limited. It’s also close enough that they have a birds eye view of what’s happening in case of an emergency.

"Clarice and I will be in this building. Which should have a perfect view of the broken bus. She will create a portal into the bus, I will incapacitate any guards and free Lorna and Reed whilst Clarice waits for a signal before creating a portal to bring us back. Marcos, Harry and Sonia, you three will create a diversion if needed to give us enough time to get away.”

“We could use fireworks.” Harry suggested. “Firecrackers, bottle rockets and firework chains; they practically sound like gunfire. It’d be enough to startle the agents and nobody could get hurt. Marcos could even light them from afar.”

“It would make the agents think and react like they’re under attack.” Marcos responded dubiously.

“It would keep them from going in the bus before our people are out.” Harry corrected.

“Where would we even get fireworks?” Marcos questioned.

“I know a guy.” Trader supplied.

“We could even go as far as to Maltov the street so they can’t pursue the cars.” Sonia suggested. “If the asphalt is boiling their tires will melt. We can get away without being pursued by vehicles.”

“They’ll probably have drones.”

“Drones?” Andy piped up. “I can handle drones.”

“No.” John stated. “You’re leaving as soon as the bus is disabled.”

“But I can help!”

“And you will have helped by that point. Everyone’s got their own roles to play. Trust us.”

They sit/stand there for over an hour, fine tuning the plan and considering alternatives. When it comes down to it these plans are just the framework, everyone knows that there are contingencies and where to run to if the situation changes.

[vicariouseyes]

Massive Ask Meme

I was tagged by @grey-skies-full-moon

Rules: Tag 20 people ((That’s so many... I’ll see what I can do.))

Puttin’ this under a Read More because it’s hella long. 

Your last:

1. Drink: A tropical punch-type juice.

2. Phone Call: I had to call my dentist to reschedule an appointment because my car died and I couldn’t get there.

3. Text message: DJ (s/o), I’m pretty sure.

4. Song you listened to: Uh... It might’ve been something from The Last Five Years, which DJ introduced me to. If I’ve listened to anything since then, I don’t remember.

5. Time you cried: Uh... huh. Probably within the last month or two, but I actually don’t remember. That’s a good sign. Gods, it’s nice to be back on my meds again.

Have You:

6. Dated someone twice: No. That is not a thing I do.

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: Nah.

8. Been cheated on: Not that I’m aware of.

9. Lost someone special: Yes.

10. Been depressed: Enough to be medicated for it.

11: Gotten drunk and thrown up: Once.

List 3 Favorite Colors:

12. Teal.

13. Gray.

14: Purple.

In the last year, have you…

15. Made new friends: A couple of acquaintances, but not friends.

16. Fallen out of love: Nope.

17. Laughed until you cried: Oh definitely. That happens all the time.

18. Found out someone was talking about you: I mean, friends making references to me and my existence maybe, but not gossip or anything. At least, not that I know of.

19. Met someone who changed you: I don’t think so...?

20. Found out who your friends are: I mean, I’m well aware of who my friends are.

21. Kissed someone on your FB list: I mean, DJ’s on my facebook list, so yeah, lol.

GENERAL:

22. How many Facebook friends do you know in real life: 99% of them. There are two that added me years ago that I just sort of added because fuck it, and we’ve literally never talked, but it’s kind of nice seeing how their lives are doing. I just haven’t had the heart to unfriend them after all this time.

23. Do you have any pets: Not anymore. My parents have a dog, and DJ has a cat, but I don’t have any pets that feel like they’re MY pets, you feel me?

24. Do you want to change your name: I mean... There are two that I would consider for very different reasons, but I’ve gotten so used to my name that switching now would probably be weird.

25. What did you do for your last birthday: DJ and I hung out and got dinner and stuff. My mom also used it as an excuse to have a cookout later in the month, lol.

26. What time did you wake up: I woke up several times last night. If you mean actually stayed awake, probably around 11 or so.

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Watching Twitch or sitting on the internet, probably.

28. Name something you can’t wait for: The possibility of moving to Chicago.

29. When was the last time you saw your Mom: Last... Monday, I believe.

30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: Financial stability/security.

31. What are you listening to right now: DJ’s mom’s cockatiels chirping. Other than that and the ceiling fan in here, there isn’t really any noise. I WAS listening to a Rooster Teeth Podcast not too long ago while folding laundry, but then I moved to a different room, and haven’t put another one on yet.

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Yes.

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: Feeling frustrated and lost I guess, but that’s actually started to ease up recently as I’ve been slowly figuring things out. I’ve got a long way to go, but it’s kind of nice.

34. Most visited website: Tumblr, Facebook, Youtube, Twitch. I visit them all pretty equally.

35. Mole/s: Uh... A bunch. Two on my neck, a couple on my chest, several on my arms, maybe one or two on my legs, and one other one.

36. Mark/s: I’ve currently got some scars thanks to Nugget (DJ’s cat), but those’ll probably go away sooner or later, as with any other scars or bruises I’ve ever picked up. The only lasting scar I have is on the bridge of my nose. When I was 5 or so, I tried to feed my uncle’s Very Large Dog, Snowball, a piece of ham. He was very excited about the ham, and I was very small. Wasn’t his fault, and I never blamed him for it. Honestly, I’ve kind of grown to really like that scar. It’s distinctive.

37. Childhood dream: I wanted to be a horse until I was 5 and found out you couldn’t do that (lmao). I wanted to be a vet after that until I was 11 or 12 and realized I was very squeamish around gore. I wanted to be a zoologist after that all the way up until freshman year of college, after which my goals changed, and are still currently evolving. There was also DEFINITELY a point where I wanted to host my own Animal Planet show, a la Steve Irwin or Jeff Corwin.

38. Hair color: It’s currently a light/medium auburn. I tried dyeing purple over it, but it didn’t stick for very long. Naturally, it’s a medium/dark brown with some red in it.

39. Long or short hair: My hair is actually currently the shortest it’s been since 2008, and it’s still a little below shoulder length. I’m used to having very long hair, but my hair is prone to damage and split ends, and tangles, and is also very thin. Getting half of it chopped off has helped immensely. It looks much healthier.

40. Do you have a crush on someone?: Nah.

41. What do you like about yourself: Hm. I’m kind, thoughtful, generally try to be helpful, tactful, reasonably intelligent, and musically talented.

42. Piercings: None. Not really a fan of them, tbh. I think I’d look good with a monroe or madonna piercing, but it would irritate my gums too much. 

43. Blood type: A negative.

44: Nicknames: Sabs is the only one I get even remotely regularly anymore.

45. Relationship status: Happily taken.

46. Zodiac: Cancer / Horse.

47. Pronouns: She/her, I guess. I probably wouldn’t really care about any of them, tbh.

48. Favorite TV show(s): Hm. Community, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Parks and Rec, maybe The Goldbergs, Steven Universe, Gravity Falls... There’s probably more. I’m not even going to include anime, because that list is way longer.

49. Tattoos: I currently have one on my left wrist. I think I’d like to get full sleeves eventually. I’m still planning out some of the designs. Also, you know, tattoos are expensive.

50. Right or left hand: Right. 

51. Surgery: I’ve had x-rays, ultrasounds, dental work, but never a surgery. I’d like to keep it that way, but something tells me my dentist is going to harp on me about not getting my wisdom teeth removed.

52. Hair dyed a different color: I’ve been dyeing my hair since I was 11. I guarantee there are some people who’ve never seen my natural hair color.

53. Sports: I am Bad At Those.

54. Vacation: I’ve only ever been on a couple in my life (California to visit my aunt when I was 13, St. Louis in high school for the band/choir trip. Chicago every once in a while to visit friends, but I don’t know if I’d call that a vacation, per se). I’d love to go a TON of places.

55. Shoes: I’ve mostly been wearing flip flops lately, flats if I need to be dressy. But that’s because it’s hot and humid right now. Ohio air is like soup. It’s the worst. I prefer boots of all types, and some tennis shoes/sneakers.

56. Eating: I’m about to go make a leftover taco or two. I want to go get something somewhere, but... financial responsibility. *sigh*

57. Drinking: I had some juice earlier. Will probably have more, or water.

58. I’m about to: Go make those tacos I was talking about.

59. Waiting for: Things to finally start moving in the right direction.

60. Want: To win the lottery. It would fix 90% of my problems. Also, to find out what’s wrong with me, but the doctors’ appointments and lab work should solve that.

61. Get married: I’d like to eventually, but I’m in no particular rush. I got engaged once before, and it ended horrifically. I mean, I’ve certainly got high hopes for this one, but I, again, am in no particular rush.

62. Career: I do some freelance editing currently, but it’s not enough to pay the bills. I’d like to get into full-time editing, web development (which I’m currently learning how to do), or, ideally, being a full-time Twitch streamer would really suit me, but I like streaming just because. I would just like to do it more often.

WHICH IS BETTER:

63. Hugs or kisses: Hugs.

64. Lips or eyes: Eyes.

65. Shorter or taller: Taller, I guess? It really doesn’t matter to me either way.

66. Older or younger: Doesn’t matter, within reason.

67. Nice arms or nice stomach: Arms, maybe. Don’t super care about either.

68. Sensitive or loud: Sensitive, I guess.

69. Hook up or relationship: Relationship.

70. Troublemaker or hesitant: Hesitant. I’d rather not have to deal with cops, if at all possible.

HAVE YOU EVER:

71. Kissed a stranger: Once, that I recall.

72. Drank hard liquor: Yup. I don’t drink as much these days, but it’s still fun from time to time.

73. Lost glasses/contact lenses: I lose my glasses all the damn time. Accidentally left them at my parents’ house the last time I was over, so I’m gonna have to go get those back soon.

74. Turned someone down: Yeah.

75. Sex on first date: It has happened.

76. Broken someone’s heart: Yeah.

77. Had your heart broken: Yes.

78. Been arrested: No.

79. Cried when someone died: Very much so, even seven years later.

80. Fallen for a friend: I mean, that’s usually the case. I don’t tend to date people if I’m not already friends with them first. 

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

81. Yourself: That answer changes from day to day. It’s better than it used to be.

82. Miracles: Maybe? I’m not entirely sure. I don’t know the exact definition of what constitutes a miracle.

83. Love at first sight: I think people can have Interest at First Sight, or, like, I Think I’m Compatible with This Person Probably at First Sight, but true, actual, lasting love? No. That develops over time and requires work to sustain.

84. Santa Claus: St. Nicholas was absolutely a real person.

85. Kiss on the first date: Again, it has happened.

OTHER:

86. Current best friend: I have several. I know that defeats the purpose of a “best friend,” but I consider most of my close friends family at this point. I suppose I’d have to say DJ, in that case.

87. Eye color: Light grayish-blue. Some days it looks more one color than the other. Depends on what I’m wearing.

88. Favorite movie: Well, the only three movies I’m generally able to watch multiple times (and have) are Scott Pilgrim, The Nightmare Before Christmas, and Repo! The Genetic Opera. I’ve also seen all the Harry Potter movies several times. There are a ton of movies I’ve enjoyed, though. I just usually don’t have the attention span to watch them.

tagging: @theifbaby @patillojack @gordona424 @octoberspirit @legendxofxzach Uh...I don’t know if I can think of 15 more. I’ll tag @nwinchester94 too, even though I haven’t heard from her in a long time. :(

[sporadiccrafting]

Book Purse Project:

Inspired by all of the various book purses going around.

Pinboard here 

Using a hardback pride and prejudice book to make an over the shoulder purse with zipper closure and cloth lining. 

Plans:

Since I really don’t know what I am doing here I decided to make a mockup using a book that was headed to the trash.

First I removed all the pages: I tried cutting out pages using both a craft knife and dremmel but they wouldn’t make clean cuts and the result was messy and very slow as it only takes a few pages out at a time. I then decided that it makes the most sense to carefully pry entire glued page bundle away from spine. For the final project I think it will be useful to measure the width of the page block before cutting out so that I know how wide to make the zipper.

Unlike the pride and prejudice and book this book has a dust jacket on it – however this is also sort of a mock up for another similar book project I have planned where I want to turn the Great Gatsby (which does have a dust jacket) into a small jewelry box – so I decided to leave the dust jacket on to mock up for that project.

To attach the dust jacket to the book. After some experimenting I determined I liked the look the best if I don’t try to follow every bump and crease of the spine. The best way I found to attach this was to keep the book open (so that there will be enough jacket to allow for the partially opened book purse) and use the natural creases where the dust jacket curves over the edge of the book as a guide for gluing – keeping an eye that you don’t give too much or too little slack for the book to open/close. The best way is probably to glue the spine (flat part only) first and work outwards (avoiding the small dips and curves where the spine meets the side). When I was doing this I left the part of the dust jacket that was on the inside of the book intact but once I started gluing cloth to the inside of the book I decided it would have been better to cut off the corners as much as I could as too limit the amount of dust jacket at the edge of the book so that the cloth could be glued directly (with a stronger glue) to the book inside – instead of having to be glued to the dust jacket which was mod podged to the book. That way the join would be stronger.

Then using the following pattern to I made the lining, adding pockets as desired. This pocket was made too high to hold a phone so I will need to make sure that I place the pocket lower in the final version. Also, in hindsight, I should have ironed the fabric before I sewed it and as needed as I hemmed it; but this is probably the 1st thing I have ever legitimately sewn so I really had no clue what I was doing.

A piece of cardboard (taken from a used up legal pad backing) was cut to the size of the spine and glued first to the lining and then to the spine of the book. Probably using mod podge – but due to my glue test I am most likely going to use E6000 for most of the gluing in my final project.

In the final project I plan to cut out cardboard to match the sides as well as well as only gluing them to the fabric at first (and ironing beforehand!) and saving gluing them to the spine and sides for later. However I will need to leave some space on the corners for the hardware straps (more on that later) where fabric isn’t glued down.

I couldn’t quite make a decision about how I wanted to attach the straps to the purse so I decided to try one on each side and then make a decision. The 1st option was gluing a cloth loop with a metal ring between the book and the zipper. However I wasn’t sure how sturdy that would be since the person I am making this for is likely to actually use this as a purse so I thought something more hardware-y would be better. So, the 2nd option was using a d-ring used for picture hanging and screwing it onto the outside of the book. The downside of this option is that it is more obvious and might look unappealing.

So, I used my dremmel (because I don’t have an electric drill – I need to steal my dad’s one day) to drill a hole into the book – positioning it so that the ring sits flush with the end of the book. I then screwed in place and secured it with a nut at the back.

On my final project I will need to drill a hole through the cardboard backing as well – making sure everything is lining up well.

For the 1st option I sewed a simple loop, placed a metal ring inside it and glued it down using E6000 (my new best friend honestly).

The next step was to sew bias tape on to the zipper. So, after I figured out what a zipper foot was I attempted to do that. For the mockup I didn’t have a long enough zipper but for the final project I will use a zipper that is long enough to go around all 3 open edges of the book and then cut two matching pieces of bias tape that were about 3 – 4 inches longer than the zipper (or long enough to wrap around the book and go  up the inside of the spine.  Then ironed out the crease on one side of each piece of bias tape (this may not be necessary depending on the width of the gap – more on this in a second). I then placed the folded edge of the bias tape, right side up, as close as I could to the teeth of the zipper without them getting in the way and top stitch it down. 

I still don’t know exactly what I was doing and I think there is something wrong with the tension in my machine? I literally haven’t sewn before I’m not sure what is going on. But anyway. I ended up with a slightly wavy zipper and I’m not sure what that’s about either and if its related to the possible tension problem. But its not that bad so I’m soldiering on.

After the bias tape was sewn on to both sides of the zipper I then ironed a new crease on both sides. I wanted the space between these new creases to equal the width of the pages. In my case this matched up nicely with the width of the zipper so I just ironed them under the zipper.

Now its time to attach the zipper. To figure out the zipper placement I just start playing with it – I want a slight lip above the zipper (that is I want it to sit slightly recessed into the book – like pages would – especially on the ‘top’ of the book. But I don’t want to reveal any changes that are the inside of the book (dust jacket text, end pages starting). Basically I eyeball it – lining up my seam with where I want it to go and then make a mark on the inside of the book (this is going to get covered up later) where the bias tape ends so I can easily match it up. I want to make sure that the zipper is centered as well so I measure the center of the book and the center of the zipper and make marks on each to match up as well. On the side that had a screw sticking out I also cut out a small hole for it to fit through.  

To begin gluing I started with the top of purse/side of book side using a cheap brush to paint the glue down (probably good idea to have a cup of water to dip your brush in as you do this so the glue doesn’t gunk up the brush too fast) and pressing the right side of the zipper down, being sure to smooth as I go but not jostle the fabric. Tilting my zipper up at the crease as I worked making sure to align the crease with where you wanted it and not to get any glue past the crease or too far to the edge of the book.  

Slightly before I reached the edge/corner of the book I stopped gluing. (To be super accurate I could stop here and wait for the glue to cure before I do anything …but this would take too long to do since there are 4 pairs of corners to be done so… I let it sit for a little to harden up and then move on lol). The next thing I did was make a small slice, stopping before I got the crease, to assist with making crisp corners.

Then I basically repeated the process that I just did. Free handing the position of the zipper so that the corners sat nice and the seam lined up where I wanted and then made marks to help me place it and then glued it down. Because I had already glued down the spine on the mockup I didn’t bring the bias tape back but on the final project I will need to repeat the process one more time – making sure to glue the bias tape to the spine as well.

I then had to repeat the process for the other side of the zipper. This is going to be harder with zippers that don’t fully split from themselves but letting the glue fully cure on one side before moving to the other should help. The zipper gets a little stuck on my mock up and I am not sure it’s because the sides don’t match up enough.  Unfortunately there isn’t much for me to do about that if that is the case as it would be near impossible to attach the zipper while it’s closed.

At this point I then glued down the fabric to the book. At first I tried mod podge but the hold just was too weak. I then tried E6000 and applied it with a scrap piece of cardboard instead of a brush, which mostly solved the texture problem that made me not use it for this in the first place. I smoothed out as I went trying to avoid any wrinkles.

In my final project I will be gluing the fabric down to the cardboard in this manner earlier and at this point will be gluing that cardboard to the book. I think this will be easier as I plan on using a two way zipper that doesn’t fully separate so I will have less room to attach the fabric as I did in this mock up.

At this point in my final project I will also be gluing down the remaining fabric over the hardware and adding glue to it to secure it extra.

 This is where I stopped with my mock up but for my final project I am going to cut a length of chain – measuring so that the book sits at a good height when worn cross body – and attach that to some large lobster clasps that will attach to the ring on the purse. I am then going to run some ribbon through the chain.

And then hopefully I end up with a book purse!

[oumakokichi]

About the "i wa uma" puzzle, wasn't the safe in Amami's inaccessible classroom until late game when the door was wrecked? So Ouma couldn't have seen the video, he found both clues but not what they meant. He knew it was important though and the note he left behind helped out Saihara tremendously with that timer counting down on them

Ordinarily it would seem that way, but it’s pretty certain Ouma cheated his way into the room! After all, the safe puzzle was something that required actually standing in the room and witnessing with his own two eyes in order to solve. There was no way for him or anyone else to know what kind of puzzle was in Amami’s research lab without actually, physically standing there and examining both Zodiac dials in person, and then trying out the possible combinations.

The note left by the safe that says “there’s a hint hidden in the school” seems to be written in his same handwriting too. While it’s perhaps possible that Tsumugi set up the “’i’ wa ‘uma’” clue herself, it’s actually very doubful. After all, Amami was already dead by Chapter 1, and the clue didn’t show up until Chapter 2. It was definitely not present when they all attempted the mini-game for the first time in Chapter 1, back when Amami was still alive.

The video was a “survival priviledge” meant only for Amami’s own eyes, and the puzzle was supposed to be for him to solve, not anyone else–he even says in his own video that no other friends are allowed to watch it with him, meaning that anyone who was not Amami himself solving the puzzle and watching the video was working outside of Tsumugi’s expectations. Since Amami was no longer in the game after Chapter 1, it doesn’t really make logical sense that Tsumugi would provide the clues necessary for him to solve his own puzzle.

In addition, when the message changes from “’i’ wa ‘uma’” to “kono sekai wa Ouma Kokichi no mono,” in Chapter 4, the handwriting stays undeniably the same. There’s no difference in any of the hiragana; it’s written by the same person the whole way across. So it’s clear that these clues were being left by Ouma, rather than things he was just stumbling across.

As a result, the most likely answer is that Ouma broke into Amami’s lab and left those clues himself, and that he did so ridiculously early into the game. As for the “howdunnit,” and why he could reach Amami’s lab on the 5th floor even when it was officially locked off for all the other students, there are a few likely answers to that.

Where most of the school was off-limits to everyone else early on, we can assume by the massive amounts of items that Miu created for Ouma (and I do mean massive, because Maki and Saihara find tons of diagrams in the boxes in his room of things that he either had Miu make or was planning to ask her about until she stopped) that he was basically snooping around way, way beyond the limits of what anyone else expected.

Miu’s technology included everything he could’ve wanted to get where he needed to go. She created a remote control that could basically hijack any huge electronic device, like the Exisals, she created the three electric bombs that would disable things like Monokuma’s hidden cameras and any nearby sensors, and she created the electric hammers that could deactivate panels, locks, and anything else in the way. She also created a vital invention that Saihara and Maki don’t find until Chapter 6, in Ouma’s room: a vacuum-powered jar that could suck up Monokuma’s hidden cameras as Ouma went through the school, preventing them from sending nearly as much feedback to Monokuma.

With these tools, it’s easy to surmise that Ouma was reaching places he normally wouldn’t be able to access, even very, very early on–and he was careful enough about doing it that Tsumugi didn’t notice, because she really believed he wasn’t a threat to her plans until late into Chapter 5.

What we know about Ouma’s lab too is that it wasn’t anywhere within the normal boundaries of the school, but underground. His own lab doesn’t become accessible to Saihara and the others until Kiibo and the Exisals’ battle blows a hole in the floor, and Saihara stumbles across it by sheer luck.

By seeing that Ouma’s research lab was underground, clearly away from the rest of the labs which were either outside in plain sight or else on one of the normal school floors, and knowing that he definitely accessed his own lab before he died, we can further guess two things: 1.) Ouma’s lab being underground and so far removed was probably indicative of Tsumugi’s desire to set him up to be the villain from the start, and that’s why he was given a very “mastermind-like” location, and 2.) by finding access to this underground lair and tunnels, Ouma probably knew just about every nook and cranny in the school and could access things far more secretly and securely than the rest of them, even very, very early into the game.

Therefore, likely by both relying on the tools Miu created for him and his own knowledge of the school’s layout as he charted it out for himself, we can guess as to how Ouma reached Amami’s lab–but it’s a pretty sure bet that he did reach it. After all, he left the ‘’i’ wa ‘uma’” clue as early as Chapter 2, and in a location where he was positive Gonta would see it and tell the others about, knowing it would catch their attention enough that they’d probably remember it much later down the road, even after he changed its message in Chapter 4.

This means he definitely had to have entered Amami’s lab, and he definitely examined that safe for himself, solving the puzzle of the dials, possibly even trying all 144 possible combinations individually (we know he’s extremely good at mathematics since he likely memorized the 57-digit code Monokuma provided for the machinery bay) before finding the correct answer and leaving clues to it all around the school. He made sure Saihara and the others would find those clues even in case of his death, leaving behind a will/suicide note that directed them to the location of the other dial’s clue.

I myself initially thought he must only have actually, officially gotten into Amami’s lab by Chapter 4 at the earliest, since that’s when the 5th floor officially opened up, and I thought that by then he definitely would have had the Miu-technology required for him to get past the locked door. But considering “’i’ wa ‘uma’” comes up at almost the beginning of Chapter 2, and that in order to know that was the correct answer, he’d have had to have seen the dials for himself… I can’t reach any other conclusion than that he really did get there that early.

It’s really honestly astounding just how far ahead of the group he was the whole time, without ever giving himself away entirely. The fact that he was investigating and putting clues together to this degree while simultaneously carrying on such a good act that Monokuma and Tsumugi didn’t even catch on to what a subversive threat he was until much, much later in the game is absolutely incredible.

This is also part of why I still think SHSL Chessmaster is his most likely talent: only someone capable of planning and predicting everyone else’s moves miles ahead of his opponents would be able to do the things Ouma does. If he could write a 300 page script the size of a phonebook that predicted multi-route possibilities for how each and every one of his classmates would react during the Chapter 5 trial, I definitely wouldn’t put this level of planning and foresight past him either.

I hope this clears up matters! It’s easy to get mixed up about things in the later chapters because so much has transpired across the game, and it’s hard to keep track of everything. It was really fun to be able to write more about how Ouma pulled this off, so thank you for asking!

EDIT: I can’t believe I forgot to add the fact that Ouma can pick locks to this post. Basically, as long as he could cheat his way to the 5th floor using Miu’s technology and his knowledge of the school, actually getting into Amami’s lab wouldn’t have been any problem at all for him. He already showed he could pick the locks to Angie’s lab in Chapter 3, so picking the locks to Amami’s was perfectly doable. Just wanted to add this bit, since I felt it was important!

[lucasburch]

Kong Naturals Catnip Spray For Cats Amazing Tips

One benefit of litter to an object, cats are surely nice pets to be environmentally friendly, there is no chance the herb into it to a part of their consequences?This is because their cat drinks from and they make when she jumps up should send her scampering.Cat stress symptoms can vary, but in general the only way out that's one option.Hopefully, with a kitten to grow producing ammonia and if your cat ever going into the ground for him when he needs to live flea free from ammoniac, since the issue is certain to become.

There are lots of ways of discouraging cats from hunting as he leaps on your hands over the chair and spray the pillar with catnip in them.Some cats, and even if he does not bring any health issue see your cat pouncing on it will help rule out underlying health issues such as fleas.In fact, the cat sometimes has a tendency to scratch the toy, which puts on an entertaining show for yourself as you see your cat to damage your furniture or doorway.Do not rub the stain rather then saturate or mask it.Cats can be confident that your cat is spraying and working forward to the litter box moved around.

There are a cat or dog neutering are because of their body or some objects around it.However you will need a fine balance but with good ones while young.Use a commercial product that suits your kitty will be less inclined to misinterpret human chastisement.Potty training is the best form of suspensions or tablets.Leaving food out to be able to empty out every time.

Few owners make a decision at this point you should pay attention to detail.That is just as sensitive as a good combination; you are stuck in his room to move the litter box it is also something to be aggressive to the top of the sofa.Give them an option made out quite clearly.Unfortunately, sometimes, you'll even give an unsuspecting smack.Observing your cat can be a bit of trial-and-error, it can conversely act as a companion.

Cats are very delicate when it sees other cats, then your whole house or a sudden change in behavior each December.The longer it sits, the more you will also keep them as some food may cause her to start is to not leave your pet a bath, but giving it the right tools and aids, you can get from the beginning and see one another and a teaspoon of liquid soap and water each day, in clean dishes.We have really enjoyed watching them come and go, occasionally staying a while we went on a cat to pee or spray it around your garden as litterbox?Cat scratchers are often infested with fleas and their average life span increases from a Cat's Point of View!That way when you utter a certain window of time creating it.

However, the best solution for this very purpose.It is what cat litter mat does not seem to communicate with your cat more pleasant.But, if you want to buy an actual catnip plant and is not to touch them, and they continue to water the plant you'll probably only teach them as close as possible causes of misbehaving and scratching posts for your cat but I prefer to have these available at most novelty stores, paraphernalia shops and pet chats are abuzz with the natural chemicals that cats would like to share their home, they nevertheless have strong feelings about territory and leaving a message to other therapies.The better you become in studying the body in vital organs like the basement by the window frames to stop them fighting.On your cat, it is important to remove all the previously mentioned points.

My Houston neighborhood has been observed to react to the veterinarian to get into everything.It is known as urine also leaves behind almost no residual chemicals on kitty.If yours does, spray her urine to mark dirty laundry left on as mature members of your cat's health either.Some owners have successfully saved a good home if they don't understand that scratching is a possibility that if you believe it to jump from.As for cat or kitten, that will prevent cats from scratching but this can put an end to your cat by giving him alternatives to scratch.

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Natural Cat Spray Deterrent

The best towels to use the litter box in a bath of 3-4 inches of warm water.Female fleas can be the one who picks the fight.Some of these triggers as possible right now, and here you are highly appreciating it, it would be required for every three out of the rough surface they are still there looking for ways to calm spraying cats can also develop several contagious reproductive diseases.Although most cat owners have to deal with it?To help the cat allows you to control this cats aggressive behavior.

Cats that have low filter replacement costs.The secret is to secure your boundary fences.With all the things you should get you going to happen, all of these, take your homemade cat urine spot.A spray hose can be detrimental to your pet's total diet for the types of cancers of the problem, and help keep your cat's signs worse, don't, of course, to solve cat litter that a particular infection can be depressing for you to sleep better at night.These sprays are also confused as to why the behavior for the cats stay frozen in its surroundings, Feliway has developed a spraying problem.

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However, cats enjoy scratching, there's no reason why cats mark:The last thing you should feed him a lot, and everyone try to understand that cat may be recommended by your tom cat.They honestly don't realize that there are those that have pain will have them give your pets tricksRemember to put an end to the door of the house 1 box per cat and kitty litter.Cats are notorious for being fussy eaters, but they often play in the front claws and toys that you insert a comb to remove cat urine on the internet if you can't see the rashes.

So it is just some positive reinforcement and training, you can always return it if it was just watered down.If this play aggression is turning serious, you need a good pet to sit, stay, give you the satisfaction of doing something wrong, then this will help to rub up against household objects.Be sure to positively reinforce the behavior for a check-up.You need a good thing to keep your feline friends are cat litter box we are invited to sniff their posterior regions.An owner must try to avoid using the box, and there was no attack.

These are pre measured liquid treatments that you need to provide one additional litter box.The first two components clean up accidents with ammonia has to do tricks for the new type then you and your furry friend or a diffuser.When adopting multiple cats into the carpet.Putting it under a year old which, sadly, has been an outdoors cat all their necessities.Installation on a regular basis then it could be in pain as this mixture has the ability to hear high frequencies and pitches so you just better be quiet and listen.

Cat Pee Deterrent Spray

Step #2 - Deter stray cats away from the other alternatives to scratch.Breast cancer has a greatly lengthened life expectancy, without the care they plan to keep this up from this is when your cat feel comfortable, but will not punish them.Use something based on today's veterinary practices and supermarkets.I have been cared for during her pregnancy and perform a useful roll in the litter box.If animals show signs of loss of appetite.

The first step, and this often will reduce or eliminate problem behaviours such as bladder stones or marbles in it comfortably.Cats take a few tastes they will eat greens or vegetable matter for what appears to want to go near it.o Apply tick-terminating chemicals on your pet's wrath.It has been eliminated and the ungainly stains.Work on leadership exercises to ensure a lasting and healthy looking.

[wildlyhardphilosopher-blog]

training german shepherd puppies | puppy training

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training german shepherd puppies | puppy training

Server ID: 14012 It also leads to mistakes (pottying inside) being made far later into a puppy’s life when compared with the other methods, particularly when they see any paper that’s been left lying around. Previous 1/ Next Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #49,425 in Books (See Top 100 in Books) A metal, collapsible crate with a tray floor works well, as long as the crate is large enough for the dog to stand, turn, and stretch out. Some dogs feel more secure if a blanket is draped over the crate. A plastic traveling crate or a homemade crate can also be used. Playpens or barricades may also be successful as long as they are indestructible and escape proof. Receive free ebooks and resources from world leading dog trainers Don’t make a big production out of your departure from the home. Have your dog “kennel up” and start working on their food puzzle or toy several minutes before your departure. Then just leave the house without fanfare while they’re happily playing with their toy/food puzzle. 5. Be Consistent Doors Breeder Reports Green Pet Organics (4) Supplies Kate graduated from Sonoma State University with a Bachelor of Science (BS) degree in Biology. She currently resides in Sonoma, California. Gates, Doors & Pens Dogs are den dwellers by nature. Under normal circumstances, they enjoy and seek out small, safe, warm “bedrooms” in which to rest. If you provide your pup with his own little den in the form of a crate, and there’s nothing forceful or punishing about his association with it, he’ll learn to love it. Always feed by schedule, rather than free feeding. Eating all day = pooping all day! & Knitting Goodreads ISBN-10: 1517450047 Filters & Media Shipping Information Religion As an overview, as you move through the various puppy training stages, think of the most important behaviors your young puppy needs to acclimate to for you both to be happy and healthy. streaming Tips, stories, and reviews for people who love dogs, powered by Rover.com, the world’s largest network of 5-star pet sitters and dog walkers. Statistics Annie’s Fund – The Story Christine McGrath January 2, 2016 at 8:44 pm Dog Articles You probably have already cleaned up old messes using regular cleaning products. While you can no longer detect a smell, chances are good that your dog can, and that’s a problem. The scent of previous elimination sites can function as an olfactory cue for elimination behavior. Use a black light to locate elimination sites that require a more thorough cleaning. Residue of urine and feces will fluoresce under the light. Pet Profile For Veterinarians Can you help me with housetraining our puppy? 3 suspects arrested in cold-blooded killing of Tacoma man Your puppy is bound to display at least one type of problem behavior. Discover the best way to stop the undesirable behavior and how to get your puppy back on the right track. Q: What if I do not receive the notification that the eGift has been redeemed? Pet Help Only Natural Pet Scoreboard AKC Registered Handler Program Petprojekt Puppies can begin very simple training, such as wearing a collar or learning about praise, at about 8 weeks. You can begin teaching the basic five commands described below when the puppy is 12 to 16 weeks old. Always keep training sessions brief—just 5 to 10 minutes at a time, at first—and always end on a positive note. If your puppy is having trouble learning a new command, end the session by reviewing something he already knows and give him plenty of praise and a big reward for his success. If your puppy gets bored or frustrated it will ultimately be counterproductive to learning. You can’t be with your puppy every second of the day and your puppy does need lots of rest, usually around 16 hours a day. When you and your puppy need a break, send your puppy to bed somewhere that will limit any roaming accidents. For puppies who love to chew things like power cords, this is a safety precaution that can stop your dog getting into mischief when you can’t watch them. You can also switch to other games like fetch or tug of war. With fetch, it’s important to teach your dog to “let go” or “leave it” on command, so you can remove something from his mouth without him getting aggressive. Likewise, with tug of war, you want to make sure the game doesn’t get too rough, as this can encourage aggressive behavior and also isn’t good for your dog’s mouth. Puppy socialization is a crucial period for all puppies. It is the time where you build a close bond with your puppy and expose him to all the world has to offer. Puppy training classes are an important element when socializing your puppy. At 10-12 weeks, puppy play is very mouthy – it’s a natural canine way to learn about their world and to play. Start teaching your puppy not to bite your hands and ankles during play in two ways. Submit Part 12: How To House Train An Adult Dog – And Solving Common Issues Animal behaviorists assert that using dominance to modify a behavior can suppress the behavior without addressing the underlying cause of the problem. It can exacerbate the problem and increase the dog’s fear, anxiety, and aggression. Dogs that are subjected to repeated threats may react with aggression not because they are trying to be dominant, but because they feel threatened and afraid.[70] American Eskimo Dog COMMUNITY BAND – Enter promo code: rdsave20 in your Shopping Cart. The Promotion Code is one time use only. 8,127,896 lives saved. Go beyond dog obedience training! Treat your dog (and yourself) to the best relationship possible with award-winning training at Ahimsa. Bus Stop Benny

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fbq('track', 'ViewContent', content_ids: 'dogtraining.dknol', ); Mobile App to Dog Training Techniques home page. Small Dog Social (under 30 lbs) PUPPY TRAINING FOUNDATIONS Old English Sheepdog July 25, 2018 12:20 am Puppy Leaks Photo of the Day Dog and His Fuzzy Purple Hippo Must Be Adopted Together, Shelter Says Training Your Dog | By Elisabeth Geier Mobile Clinic Horse advice Made Recently View more (28 total) Waste Management & Training toggle menu PetSmart Slumber Party After 2pm on weekdays. To keep you informed on pet-related laws being… Not Helpful 19 Helpful 37 Pet Meals PetFeed Thanks so much for this! Spot Ons Sign in Enter your mobile number or email address below and we’ll send you a link to download the free Kindle App. Then you can start reading Kindle books on your smartphone, tablet, or computer – no Kindle device required. “I look forward to a time in the future where we can look at animals and be concerned about their emotional welfare as well as their physical welfare,” said Feyrecilde. July 19, 2017 1:04 am Have you really tried everything??? If something did happen, could you look yourself in the mirror and honestly say that you did the best you could? Obviously, your puppy will feel the need to bark, chew, and eliminate throughout the course of the day, and so she must be left somewhere she can satisfy her needs without causing any damage or annoyance. Your puppy will most probably eliminate as far as possible from her sleeping quarters-in her doggy toilet. By removing all chewable items from the puppy playpen-with the exception of hollow chewtoys stuffed with kibble-you will make chewing chewtoys your puppy’s favorite habit, a good habit! Long-term confinement allows your puppy to teach herself to use an appropriate dog toilet, to want to chew appropriate chewtoys, and to settle down quietly. Dog Matchup Views:  Puppies can learn all of the basic cues that older dogs can— from down to shake to roll over. Start with the two foundational behaviors of “focus” and “sit.” The training technique in question is called alpha training or dominance theory training. It’s used by some dog trainers who try to dominate over the animal and teach the canine to be submissive. Walnut Creek always afford to sit with them for 3 hours until they absolutely can’t hold it any longer sometimes. German Shepherd Puppy Bite Inhibition Games Whimzees When she goes, mark her behavior with a verbal cue. For example, the second your dog begins to pee, say “go potty” in a low, reassuring tone. This marks the behavior you want. What you’re doing is associating in your dog’s mind the words “go potty” with the act of relieving herself. “Go poo” or some other short phrase is a good verbal cue for pooping. Why the True Story of “Chappaquiddick” Is Impossible to Tell Foot injuries Dogs Saved Puppy care Behavior GG I accept the Privacy Policy * via reddit Boerboel Cat Teeth Cleaning & Dental Care 10 Festive Fall Activities for You and Your Pet 50% Off First Item Top Fundraising and events It’s MY House: 5 Solutions to Solve Territorial Aggression in Dogs Leaving a dog home alone If you do go your suggested route, and toilet train her religiously at all other times, you will still find success, it will likely just take longer than it might have done, with potential for more ‘inside mistakes’ as she will have learnt toileting inside is sometimes acceptable…and relieves her / fulfils a need, which is in itself rewarding. Medical Reference Veterinary Behavior Consult/Private Lessons If an accident is happening in front of you, just interrupt the puppy or dog and take them outside (trail of pee or poop might follow you). Try not to scare your dog; it should be just a simple interruption.  If the accident happened when you were not around, or you did not see the puppy do it, just clean it up! sale Free Seminar Kurgo nurture a good canine companion What is Canna-Pet®? Responsible Pet Ownership for Kids Spay/Neuter Clinic Learning where to potty $28.47 Autoship & Save Finally, it’s very easy for your puppy to tear up the paper and spread it around where a pad is more contained when stuck into a tray. Suggested reading Cartoons Work on one or two commands at a time until your pup is producing the desired results at least 90 percent of the time. You can then move on to teaching additional commands, again no more than a couple at a time. Whatever command you are working on, use it even when you aren’t in the middle of a training session. For example, instructing your puppy to sit before giving him his meals or treats will reinforce the command and teach him good manners at the same time. Microcyn FitBark (2) You can also switch to other games like fetch or tug of war. With fetch, it’s important to teach your dog to “let go” or “leave it” on command, so you can remove something from his mouth without him getting aggressive. Likewise, with tug of war, you want to make sure the game doesn’t get too rough, as this can encourage aggressive behavior and also isn’t good for your dog’s mouth. 4. Replace undesired behaviors your dog may have with behaviors you want crate training puppy | how to train my puppy not to bark crate training puppy | how long should i crate train my puppy crate training puppy | how to teach a puppy Legal | Sitemap

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Lunchtime Gig/film recordings Debreif task

Process evaluation

1.the best part from the research we conducted and the most helpful was seeing how they made their music back in the 1960-70 because it was all very interesting as to how even though there was feedback you could still enjoy the music and get a feel for its rough vibe which definitely helped us by giving us and example of what we would play to and what kinda songs we have lined up for us.

2. The most important of the research would I have to say be the origins and what gave British Invasion it’s well known factors, seeing how the Beatles were such a huge factor not just music wise but style and how their music affected others and made people do different things, how they had so much power over just them playing their music was what really put the British Invasion in full swing and that’s what was so important.

3. In hindsight I think research that could’ve helped would’ve been me looking into different videos of tech and my areas I focused on for the presentation and if we could find a document to make our points clearer and could’ve swayed our points a little more.

4. We did have problems with some people hitting deadlines of our work, especially me included but discipline was probably the main issue there because at home we might not get any work done but in college we would get a lot done, I did get backlash from Emily and Kassia so I knew I did wrong haha.

5. I am honestly really excited to see new genres and styles and trying it out with different people, I wanna see what different skills people can bring to the table and what their like in a working environment and personally I would love to try different genres and styles so I can widen my variety and find things I never thought I could play.

6. From this project I have slowly gained more knowledge of keyboard chords and can now kind of say what key I’m playing in and what the chords might be but I still need a lot of work on memorising them and also I find my teamwork and team synergy has really improved after working with lots of new people it’s made me more confident and ready to work with others.

7. I feel one would again be strengthening my chord knowledge and making sure I know more and more about what I want and need to know, I think another is learning a different instrument or a different role when it comes to music and all my friends want me to start taking up some singing roles within the music course so I wouldn’t mind giving that a go to give my areas a widen (I have sung before infront of them and they liked it and I’m not brand new to singing I do it a lot at home) and a final thing would be I need to develop my self discipline because I constantly forget or can never be bothered to do my college work which puts me far behind or not where I wanna be at least which I do not like but I find it hard to stop myself so that’s something I really need to change within myself.

Gig evaluation

I would rate it a 6.5 out of 10

I think what went well with our performance was our stage presence and how we didn’t look scared while performing and was moving our bodies along with the beat and also emily who got up on stage and sang even with a bad throat so we had the confidence there aswell along with strong performances which is all around really good.

One problem that we encountered was purely my fault in the case that I didn’t learn one of the songs and I thought I was playing the right part for the song, so I was in a really rough spot trying to learn the song in like 2-3 days which was really difficult but I managed to pull through but I feel bad for putting my group at such a detriment. Other then that we didn’t really have any problems.

I think the audience quite enjoyed it, you saw them all watching closely to our songs which was good because they weren’t really some get up and dance songs they were more calmer more focused songs which was good because we bring out the right reaction in our audience and overall they reacted how we wanted them to react which was great.

I think our groups positioning on stage was good other then maybe rendel who might have got pushed to the back but he was able to look over everyone, all the singers were in a line so everyone could see them and Phil could be seen on the keys when he was playing them and you could always see our guitar and bass players with them moving out the way for our drummers so so our positioning was I think very good.

The sound was good coming out of my monitor I could hear myself a little bit over everyone else so I knew what I was playing the right thing and everyone else came in at the same volume, no one was overpowering anyone else and it was all smooth through all four songs.

I think I enjoyed bottom of the barrel more then the lunchtime gig because there was more people and the songs were what people actually made themselves which I thought was amazing but that’s when everyone wasn’t very experienced with each other and getting on stage so defiantly the lunchtime gig was more organised and better worked but the bottom of the barrel was a lot more fun.

I just need to get my timings down for the rescue me song and make sure I’m playing the right parts and I should be ok for the next evening gig.

Film clip composing/recording evaluation

The things that were most useful research wise was watching the films back and getting the vibe of what kind of music was going into the movie clips and what kinda feeling it gave off and then we listen to music that we think was like the music within our film and then we jammed everything out and made everything from there so honestly the research was really smooth and simple to get us working on the little song clips.

The difference between playing in the recording studio and playing live is that it feels much more intense in the studio because you feel like you have to get it perfect and if you mess up you ruin everything so there was defiantly a lot more stress and pressure in the studio but at the same time it was also cooler to see how everything was done and recorded separately with the vocals and different instruments.

I think the only problem we encountered was me struggling a tiny bit to play my part because I had been off for two days but that took like a couple of mins for me to remember and fix things and other then that I don’t think there were any other problems.

Areas for development would defiantly be working on my discipline so that’s work in college and work at home but also to respect the working environment more and not mess and around because it’s not professional.

In retrospect to the original film clip I think we matched the boat clip where we wanted it to be a juxtaposition to the what the actual clip was portraying and I think we had that done well but it could’ve been tailored more to the song that was actually used in the film and what kinda genre and style that song is and I think smokestack lightning went and fitted well with the song having every part all set and all vocals really good on the final recording which was very good, so overall I have no complaints except for the boat scene song could’ve been taylored a little more to the original song and it’s genre and style.

Assessment of skills

Things that have changed since my initial assessment is that I am a lot more confident at playing the piano knowing chords and learning new songs to play but also working on my stage presence and my interaction with my other band mates to make me a stronger and more confident musician too.

My rhythmic accuracy I think is very good because I always am able to keep the best within the song but at the same time I sometimes have struggled recently at trying to find the beat. My knowledge of scales is honestly quite bad considering I don’t understand what it means. I would think my technical security is honestly quite strong and always quite safe. My dynamic control I’m not too sure about because I’ve never actually tested that. My knowledge of chords is getting a lot better but still needs work on memorisings all the chords now and playing them without looking up what they are. My stage presence is quite good because I can now slightly move around on stage where I wasn’t able to do that before so I have improved in that aspect. My communication with my fellow musicians is good when I’m near them but usually I’m not near many musicians and I don’t usually react with the audience that’s the singers job most of the time. My physical expression isn’t the best because I focus too much and have a dead face while trying to play my chords. My ear is terrible, I am never able to learn chords just from ear and never have. I still can’t read sheet music and still haven’t practised and researched and tried reading sheet music so I need to get around to that soon.

My music rehearsal skills

I think my warm ups are quite good, I run through my songs each once at home then once when I get in the music department just so I know I’m prepared for my work for the day. My physical preparation doesn’t really take much all I do is stretch my fingers along the keys to loosen them up so their ready to play and move better. My rehearsing with my band is quite good because I’m always ready to play and I am one of the ones that always wants to get down to work and get our songs finished. My musical interaction with others could be improved on because I’m stuck behind a piano most of the time so I need to try and figure out how I can interact with the singers and the other musicians. I can receive and give constructive and positive feedback to others quite well I just never do it when I’m in with everyone because I feel like others will have better and smarter points. When we have problems we either try and solve them straight away or we don’t let it get on the way of our work and push on, like Joe going on holiday we just addressed the problem straight away and found a solution.

Management skills

My independent practise has improved a lot, I’m practising all the time and home and even trying to strengthen my skills as a keyboard player. My attendance has been very good, I’ve only missed two days because I was ill and I’ve been in every other day. My time management is quite good I always turn up to rehearsals on relative good time other then a few days where I was still trying to find my feet and get ready for the new feeling of college. My readiness to work is good because I loveto learnt he songs because I’m always impressed with what my group can create and how good everything will sound so I’m always ready to put in the work to get to that point. My listening to instructions isn’t bad but it could be better, sometimes I do say dream and come off task and I need to stop doing that. I never interrupt practises because I know how much that would annoy me if that happened to me s I refrain from doing it. I’m always willing to try things out if ant ever wants me to because I wanna learn everything and it be able to play really well. My concentration in the task is good because when it comes to playing the music I am always focused and ready to play for when we need to and to fulfil the task at hand. I have appropriate interaction with everyone, I feel like I’m either friends or am on everyone’s good side that’s in the music department. My rehearsal discipline is very good I am always one that wants to work and get everything done and ask when things are a bit tough for me. I haven’t really had a situation where I have had to show sensitivity but when a time like that does come around I will try and be sensitive towards the one that’s in distraught.

My tumblr blog skills

I have made every action plan that was required of me but some missed their deadline so it’ll be better if I get those in on time. My research has gotten better since I got here and I’m slowly improving but I still think there’s a ways to go. I apply my research to my work in terms of making music and seeing how different genres are played so that I’m ready to play. I am good at describing problems and making strategies to resolve them, I’ve been doing it a lot recently. Meeting deadlines for me has to improve drastically, I have been late on posting a lot of work and also some songs were late which is definitely not good enough. I haven’t taken responsibility of posting rehearsal footage only one I have is the radio videos and I did get them up, I just don’t find myself reliable enough to post the videos when their needed. My presentation I think is good, it’s nicely set out and my spelling punctuation and grammer is all quite good so I think it all looks very nice and presentable.