#multi-level layouts

[marlenejdavis01]

Enhance your outdoor living space with a custom deck contractor in Columbus. Specializing in personalized designs, these professionals bring creative solutions to optimize your property’s functionality and style. From multi-level layouts to unique material selections, custom deck contractors deliver features that blend seamlessly with your home’s architecture. They focus on durability and aesthetics, ensuring a high-quality addition to your outdoor environment.

[quinloki]

Roped In - A Collaborative Event 2025

Let’s Knot Complicate Things, eh?

Fuzzy Cuffs - Whether it’s a starter set, or a full on BDSM club, this is for the consensual and the sensual, the frisky and the mutually agreed upon risky <3

Rope Burns - For the darker appetites. From the yandere to the non-con. This is for the stuff that leaves an impression that lasts.

Unleashed - Whether it’s fuzzy cuffs, or rope burns, this is for those times when the rope’s not the only thing that has a knot >.> When the smile has too many teeth, or when it’s claws caressing your skin.

How to join?

Send an ask to me, specifying which character & prompt you will be writing/drawing for. Also tell me which of the three categories your work will be for!

When you post your piece, please make sure to tag me in the post and use the tag #RopedInCollab. Once you’re done I’ll add you to the Masterlist!

RULES:

~ Any fandom is allowed and we don’t have to be mutuals for you to join!

~ Anon is not allowed - you must be 18+ to join and I need to be able to link your work when you’re done anyway ^_^;

~ NSFW and SFW are allowed, just make sure you tag your works appropriately!

~ Fics and Art are both allowed, as are OCs, x Readers, Canon x Canon, Poly, etc.

~ Try to keep your fics at least 500 words (no maximum), any format is allowed: headcanons, bullet points, drabbles — all the way up to a multi-chapter if you want (only the first part needs to be done within the event’s timeline!)

~ Post your work during July 2025 and tag me so I can add it to the Masterlist \o/

Clarification and Example:

As long as some level of kink is in the story, it's good - from fuzzy handcuffs to full on shibari - it can be alluded to (referencing kink, but not actively experiencing it in the story), or be set in a bdsm style dungeon, the choice is yours

The prompts don't have a list cause it's just an open deal, you decide the prompt and just let me know what you want to write. (If you really need a prompt list, I can whip (heh) one up, just let me know).

The three categories are basically [standard] [dark content] [monster fucker]

So a submission would be something like: I'm writing Canon x Reader, Fuzzy Cuffs, beginner session.( or established relationship, or [insert here]) And that's all I really need to track it for the event.

Extra note: Shout out to @nagumoan inspiring the layout and general vibe of the collab with here dance with the dead event from 2023

[hometoursandotherstuff]

Neat and different 1957 mid-century modern split level in Louisville, Kentucky has 3bds, 2.5ba, $244,900. You gotta see the kitchen.

A checkered floor in the open entrance protects the living room's wood floor from outside dirt.

Because it's a split level, the layout is different from the usual ranch style MDM. It has a sunny living room with a fireplace wall.

Enter the dining room thru the living room. It's not huge, but it's cute.

The kitchen is big enough to fit either a table or an island, but this kitchen is 100% original.

They painted the original cabinets to match the floor. But, look at that vintage pink oven.

This is incredible. How does it still work?

For its time, this was the height of modernism- a push-button electric cooktop. That panel is real chrome, you can see how it's pitted.

I guess you have the option of using the top or bottom buttons, but this was absolutely space age and high end.

Even the exhaust hood is original.

The blue fridge is vintage. I bet that little freezer has to be defrosted.

The bedrooms are upstairs. This must be the primary bd. b/c it's pretty big.

This bathroom was updated.

Bedroom #2 is a very good size, too.

This large room is being used as a home office, but it's a nice big 3rd bedroom, too.

This bath is original except for the new tub.

How this lasted, I don't know, but it's the original toothbrush/cup holder and when you push it, it turns and hides in the wall.

In the basement is a very large rec room or, as it used to be called, the rumpus room. (Let the wild rumpus begin!)

Since it's so big, it's really a flexible multi-purpose space.

The powder room is down here and it's been remodeled, but they kept the knotty pine paneling.

There's a modern porch in front of the house.

And, in the back, a screened patio with a deck.

The wooded lot is .29 acre.

https://my.flexmls.com/noahjemley/search/email_links/20240228192328918949000000/listings/20240228162144873629000000?fbclid=IwAR0nGUc_gL_AekQdpjJlnSvHB1VmVJzSmqUmtyUJHBKp4XPZIfGcZFyzveQ

[novastar-creations]

Reconsidering some things about my au jaja

Context: During the Krang invasion the lair was destroyed by some Krang zombies searching for the Key - while Sister Krang was chasing April and Splinter, the zombies tore the lair apart. The Hamatos then need to find a new lair.

NOTE: this is based on what I know about underground structures in my area, so if it’s inaccurate to what exists in America, tell me please!

Pros and cons below the cut, I encourage you to read before you vote

The pros and cons are measured both logistically and from the pov of what I want to do as both an artist and a storyteller

Sewer

- Pros: people know it, and it’s classic, who needs plumbing when you live in the sewer?

- Cons: could come off as unoriginal and overused. Also Donnie probably wouldn’t want to go back there given the hygiene issues - once you have sewage free housing, you never wanna go back. No power outlets as well.

Metro/subway system

- Pros: Semi-familiar environment without having to worry about figuring out the complete layout from the movie, plumbing

- Cons: done before, no power outlets, crap insulation/ventilation

Parking garage

- Pros: roomy, with a lot of potential for layout. Also usually has elevators and ramps, so disability friendly (yay!) - big help for Leo, who’s on crutches, space for the turtle tank

- Cons: No ventilation, no power points, laying out things could be difficult due to the general constraints of a parking garage, plus would require building to make room layouts, which is a lot to put on teenagers after they saved the world from aliens

Storage

- Pros: roomy, with separate spaces, power outlets in some areas, space for the turtle tank

- Cons: no ventilation, all of said “seperate spaces” are usually the same size, all of the spaces’ doors are probably locked and might have random stuff in them

Theatre basement*

- Pros: power outlets, interesting environment, probably has working plumbing bc dressing rooms and backstage toilets, direct access to NYC, might have a parking garage nearby for the turtle tank

- Cons: creepy, lots of random theatre stuff, restricted/limited space, often labyrinthine and confusing

*this makes no sense to anyone who hasn’t worked backstage before but yes, sometimes theatres have basements instead of a normal backstage area, and yes, they are terrifying - sometimes they’re a labyrinth of tunnels to get from one side of the stage to the other, and sometimes they’re a mass of interconnected rooms that if you mapped them out, they’d probably look like a poorly drawn diagram of the human digestive system made by someone with absolutely zero understanding of human anatomy. It depends on the type of theatre.

Shopping mall

- Pros: lots of space with separated rooms of varying sizes, power outlets, working plumbing, ventilation, food court so no worries about having to move in/build new cooking appliances

- Cons: pushing the suspension of disbelief a bit, not a lot of space for the turtle tank, unless you wanna demolish the food court (which I can’t see Mikey being very okay with tbh) (might be able to have an underground parking garage nearby???)

[itsalwaysteatimeinwonderland]

Hurting you would hurt me: Choso Kamo x Y/N

Requested: no

TW: Some mild violence

Word count: 979

Part 2

-I thought I'd try my hand at JJK fanfiction. Been craving for more Choso Kamo and thought I'd help out the cause. This is a multi fic, so be patient as a churn them out. -

-Additionally, this fic might have some spoilers. I will be changing the storyline of how the second season went. I am not loyal to canon events. #noregrets -

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

-Knee deep in the Shibuya incident-

Masses of people screaming, and running. Panic is in the air. You’re running through the mass escorting and guiding people to safety. You work with Inumaki to make sure everyone is safe. Your heart is pounding in your ears, your own anxiety getting the best of you. You and Inumaki are able to herd people into what you both believe to be a safe location. 

"That's that." You affirm. 

"Tuna, mayo." Inumaki confirms. 

"You stay with them. I'm going inside."

Inumaki assents. 

You run down the train station levels. You don't see the others so you assume they've already cleared these levels. You make it close to where Geto and his gang are before you encounter someone. 

A tall dark figure blocks your way. A man with two messy buns. His back is turned to you. You don't recognize him, so you believe he's an enemy. 

"Been looking for you." You state. 

"Huh?" He slowly turns towards you. His breath catches in his throat. He takes a defensive stance. 

"Who are you?" He asks. 

"Y/n, your executioner."

He stares at you, taken aback. He has never seen you and he regrets that this is the first time he gets to be in your presence. He doesn't know why but he couldn’t make himself speak or move. 

"I’m Choso Kamo." He blurts out. 

"Nice to meet you. Sadly, this is where you end." 

He stands frozen. Words a jumble. He takes a deep breath and starts running. 

"What the fuck?" You mumble to yourself as you run after him. 

He's fast and focused. You vaguely know the layout of the train station which gives you an advantage. You catch up to him by the elevators. 

"I thought Geto's men were supposed to be brave." You sneer. 

That perks Choso up. He's angry that you questioned his honor so he turns to you ready to attack. You position yourself to return the attack. You make eye contact, and he wavers. He runs again. 

"This motherfucker." You sigh as you recollect yourself before you run after him again. 

You deploy your weapon, a large machete on a chain. He smoothly evades the machete but forgets the chain. You bide your time until he slips up and you wrap the chain around his ankles. He jerks backs from the momentum and hits the floor hard. 

"Enough! Fight me and die. That’s your only option." You huff out.

"No." He speaks as he gets up.

"No? You've got this twisted sir, cause I'm gonna make you wish you had never met me."

"No!" He launched his attack but misses you on purpose. Your cheek received a cut while the whole terminal behind you crumbled. 

You grin. "Oh yes." 

You lunge at him, and he does the same. Before you are able to unleash your weapon again, he's behind you pinning you against a wall. Both of your hands were in one of his big palms. 

You were mesmerized at how fast and strong he was. For the first time since arriving at Shibuya you were afraid. 

"I can't do this. Please get out of here." He said in your ear. 

He holds you in place for what seems to be an eternity. His breath hot in your ear. His chiseled body against your back. You gasp as he lets you go and he backs away, hands up in surrender. 

You're confused by his behavior. Is this a trick? You hang your machete low by its chain, ready for anything but he doesn't move. You make sure to keep your back against the wall to gain an advantage. 

Choso just stands there. Eyebrows knitted, mouth in a frown, confusion in his eyes. 

"Explain yourself." You say. 

"I can't hurt you." He reiterates.

"Are you afraid of death?"

"No. I’m afraid of yours."

You're truly dumbfounded. An enemy with compassion? This is a game and you're done playing. You unleash your weapon again without a warning. His eyes widen but he evades it easily. He focuses on evading your attacks in the hopes that you get tired and stop. You see what he's trying to do by avoiding all your attacks so you stop. 

"What's wrong with you? I get not wanting to die but this is ridiculous. Pick a lane." You yell at him. 

"Hurting you would hurt me." He says simply. 

You stand there, still confused. Should you just give up? Was this a trap? What if he was telling the truth? 

"Explain."

He looks flustered and at a loss for words. He fumbles over his words. He doesn't know where to start. His cheeks grow hot, his breath shallows.

"If... I hurt you... it'd be no different than hurting myself." He reiterated. 

"You said that already. What does it mean? Like are we linked in some way?"

"I hope so." He mumbled to himself. 

"Answer me." You command. 

He stands there and walks towards you. You panic but don't move. His large body is inches from your smaller one. He raises his hand and places it over your shoulder. You can tell he is shaking. You look up at him and for the first time you can appreciate how handsome he is. Killing him would be a shame. 

"Run from this place. It's not safe here."

"I know. That's why I'm here. I--"

With a swift move of his hand, he hits your shoulder pressure points making you faint. 

"I'm sorry, but I can't have you die."

He crouches down to pick up your body. He revels in your scent, the weight of your body. He hopes that he can hold you like this again in the future. He slowly takes you back up to the surface and places you where he has spotted some of your colleagues. He sneaks back down to the train station in search of Yuji. 

[nabazakk75]

**The BAC Mono: A Singular Experience in Automotive Performance**

In a world dominated by multi-seat sports cars and luxury performance vehicles, the **BAC Mono** stands as an anomaly. With its singular, monocoque design and an almost obsessive focus on the driving experience, this British-made hypercar offers enthusiasts something entirely different—a car built for pure driving pleasure. The BAC Mono isn’t just a car; it’s a reminder of the connection between man, machine, and road.

### **A Brief Introduction to the BAC Mono**

Manufactured by **Briggs Automotive Company (BAC)**, the Mono is a single-seater, track-inspired sports car that blurs the lines between street-legal car and racing machine. Introduced in 2011, the BAC Mono has quickly gained a cult following among driving purists who appreciate its minimalistic design, extreme performance, and exhilarating driving dynamics. This car isn’t meant for daily commuting or family trips—it's built for those who crave an unfiltered, high-performance driving experience.

### **Performance That Rivals the Best**

At the heart of the BAC Mono is a **2.5-liter four-cylinder engine** that produces 305 horsepower. On paper, this might not sound like a massive number when compared to other supercars, but thanks to its incredibly lightweight construction (weighing just 540 kg or 1,190 pounds), the Mono has a power-to-weight ratio that rivals the most exotic cars on the planet.

The engine is paired with a **6-speed sequential gearbox** that allows for lightning-fast gear changes, contributing to the car's superb track performance. The Mono's 0-60 mph (0-100 km/h) time is a blistering **2.8 seconds**, while it can reach a top speed of 170 mph (274 km/h). These numbers, coupled with a fully independent suspension system and lightweight carbon-fiber bodywork, result in a vehicle that is agile, responsive, and remarkably stable at high speeds.

### **Design Focused on the Driver**

The **BAC Mono** is fundamentally designed around the idea of the "driver's car." The cabin is minimalist but functional, with a single racing seat at the center, surrounded by a digital dashboard and a steering wheel that places all critical information and controls at the driver’s fingertips. The design makes it clear that this car is all about the person behind the wheel.

With its fully enclosed cockpit, a low stance, and an open-wheel layout, the Mono feels more like a Formula 1 car than a typical road-going sports car. The carbon fiber body not only reduces weight but also provides exceptional strength and rigidity, allowing the car to tackle tight corners and high-speed straights with precision and confidence.

The car’s adjustable suspension system ensures that it can be fine-tuned for a variety of driving conditions, from smooth tarmac to the rigors of a race track. The open-wheel design, while visually striking, also serves a functional purpose: it improves airflow around the vehicle, contributing to both aerodynamics and cooling, crucial for the kind of high-performance driving the Mono is built for.

### **Precision Handling**

The steering of the BAC Mono is precise, quick, and offers an incredible level of feedback. With its **low center of gravity**, the car feels glued to the road, providing a sense of control and responsiveness that is hard to find in many other vehicles. The Mono’s suspension system and high-performance tires ensure that it delivers an incredibly stable ride, whether you're taking tight corners or pushing it to its limits on a race track.

Driving the Mono is a visceral experience. The car is designed to be felt as much as it is driven. With every input, you feel the direct connection between the car and the road. Its lightweight nature and finely tuned handling make it an absolute joy to drive, especially in track conditions where its true potential can be unleashed.

### **Exclusivity and Customization**

BAC takes the idea of exclusivity to heart. Each Mono is built to order, with the company offering a range of customization options to ensure that each car is unique to its owner. Whether it’s bespoke paintwork, interior finishes, or specialized performance components, the Mono is made to reflect the personality and preferences of its driver.

Additionally, BAC offers a "Mono Track Pack" option for those who want to take the performance up a notch. This package includes enhancements like track-focused tires, additional aerodynamic elements, and lighter materials that further reduce the car's weight, pushing it even closer to the performance characteristics of a full-blown race car.

### **A Thrilling Driving Experience**

The BAC Mono is more than just an amazing feat of engineering; it’s about the **experience**. This car is not meant to be a comfortable, cushioned ride. Instead, it’s about immersion, about feeling every twist in the road and every shift in the gear lever. There are no distractions—no radio, no luxury features—just a focused, raw connection with the driving experience. It’s an experience that only those who have had the privilege of driving the Mono can fully appreciate.

### **Conclusion: A Driver's Dream**

The BAC Mono is a car that represents the purest form of driving. While most hypercars focus on speed, luxury, or technology, the Mono prioritizes one thing above all: an unadulterated driving experience. Every aspect of the car is engineered with the singular purpose of delivering the most thrilling, responsive, and dynamic performance possible.

For those who value the art of driving, the **BAC Mono** is a dream come true. It's not a car for everyone, but for those who crave the purest connection between man and machine, it offers an experience that few vehicles can match. In a world where the line between road car and race car continues to blur, the BAC Mono stands out as a reminder of the joy of driving in its most unrefined, exhilarating form.

[hirocimacruiser]

Tommykaira Tuned Legacy M20tb.

TUNED LEGACY M20tb

The challenge from GT to racing sports, the fastest wagon

Tommy Kaira's pedigree on the wagon. TUNED LEGACY M20tb, the flag bearer of the wagon era

A high level of perfection that can only be achieved by Tommy Kaira's complete car, which pursues total balance. Thorough pursuit of the well-established BOXER-4. The 297 horsepower produced by its reliability and high level of perfection gives it the edge of a sports car, and even though it is a wagon, it is enough to stimulate the true sports car mindset.

The torquey power that rises smoothly from the low rotation range brings you a world of endless possibilities.

It makes wagonists forget about the body and truly invites them into the world of sports cars.

The suspension tune is also the traditional Tommy Kaira tune, and its biggest appeal is the unique flavor that pursues the fun of sports driving while taking advantage of the appeal of 4WD.

The M20tb will demonstrate its true worth in all environments and conditions, including winding roads, highways, and if you're looking for a full-fledged circuit.That's the true joy of driving with the M20tb.

Powerful form

The front bumper spoiler, rear bumper spoiler, and roof end spoiler are Tommy Kaira Aero originals, and 17-inch wheels and tires are standard on the suspension. Completely tuned car, Tommykaira's status is modeled. It can be said that it is an object that harmonizes with any world in which wagonists drive.

SPECIFICATIONS

Max Output: 297ps/6600rpm

Max Torque: 35.3kgm/5800rpm (GT-8:5MT)

Max Output: 278ps/6600rpm

Max Torque: 33.3kgm/5800rpm (GT-8: AT)

Max Output: 270ps/6400rpm

Max Torque: 32.8kgm/5300rpm(GT: 5MT.AT)

BODY Length: 1680mm Width: 1695mm Height: 1490mm Wheelbase: 2630mm Tread: Front 1470mm Rear 1460mm.

■ENGINE

BOXER MASTER-4, DOHC 4cam 16Valve Twin Turbo with Multi-cup Intercooler Bore x Stroke: 92.0mm×75.0mm Piston Displacement: 1994cc

LAYOUT 4Wheels Drive 5-Speed Manual/E-4AT

Brakes: 2Piston Type Caliper+Ventilated Disk

Wheels: 7.0Jx17(Front & Rear)

Tire: 215/45ZR (Front & Rear)

Suspension: Strength Sports Spring

Steering: Rack&Pinion

●Interior

A comfortable design that lets you enjoy sports driving.

It features a shift knob made of aluminum, a 20-meter console that stands out in Tommy Kaira red, and an original meter made of three-dimensional carbon.

●Engine

Tommykara

The 297 hp power effortlessly guides the driver into the experience zone from the moment the car starts. Easy-to-handle engine characteristics are the hallmark of Tommykans.

●Front view

The originally designed spoiler with large openings above and below the bumper line maximizes cooling effectiveness. Together with the large integrated sub-light, it creates an impressive front view.

●Rear view

The fiberglass sports stabilizer and spoiler create a dynamic range that improves stability through downforce at high speeds.

●Fender decal/side decal

Flowing Tommykara, the confidence of a tuned car.

[cliperry]

Here is the full, accurate translation, keeping it as close as possible to the original Japanese text:

ONE DIRECTION in JAPAN!!

February 21 – March 4, 2015

“We Love Japan!”

Tracking the members’ activities on Twitter & Instagram

Liam: "So different here."

Niall: "Driving in Osaka today and seeing our faces on the Docomo posters was the craziest feeling! Surreal!"

That excitement is back—JAPAN!!!

Complete Report on the Japan Tour

90 Minutes of Heat, Excitement, and Emotion REPORT: YUKO KATO | PHOTO BY KAZUKI WATANABE

Kyocera Dome, Osaka

One Direction’s (hereinafter referred to as 1D) concerts continue to evolve. From the first time I saw them in a theater in Auckland two and a half years ago, to now, they have grown so much, and the anticipation only keeps building.

After passing through AEON Mall Osaka Dome City, where nearly every single person seemed to be a 1D fan, I arrived at Kyocera Dome.

I was lucky enough to get a shockingly good seat—so good, I almost felt guilty. Most people around me were industry professionals, like record label executives and social media staff.

The dome’s stage was huge, fully utilizing the massive venue. The backdrop featured a giant screen, and the multi-level stage design had ramps and platforms, allowing the members to move freely.

A long runway extended into the arena, leading to a sub-stage, bringing the boys closer to fans seated far from the main stage. Even fans in the second and third levels could get a good view.

This stage layout was similar to their last tour in Boston, with few major changes in visuals. However, for most of the audience, this was their first time seeing 1D live, so to them, everything was new and thrilling.

The Concert Begins!

At 7:40 PM, the pre-show visuals—a mix of fun videos and colorful lighting—built excitement. The top of the set opened, and one by one, the members appeared.

The opening song? "Clouds."

And the first person to shout "OSAKA~!"? Harry Styles.

Outfits & Stage Presence

Harry’s outfit featured bold prints, a rare style for men, but of course, Harry pulled it off effortlessly. His face, shown in close-up on the big screen, looked intensely captivating.

(I know writing things like this makes people call me a “Harry fan,” but oh well!)

Niall Horan entered playing his guitar.

One thing that became very clear? Niall's overwhelming popularity.

Some fans wore Niall masks

Others held up signs with his name

Is it because he’s the only single member of the group?

That said, most 1D fans love the group as a whole, rather than just one member.

As usual, the five of them spread out across the wide stage, ensuring that every fan could see them.

When Harry blew a kiss to the audience, screams erupted throughout the arena. (He did this in every venue, and it suits him so well!)

Highlights from the Setlist & Member Interactions

"Steal My Girl" →

Before starting, Liam greeted the audience in Japanese: "Konnichiwa, Osaka~!"

The big screen zoomed in on fans, and Niall swapped his guitar for a mic, skipping down the runway playfully.

Harry shouted: "Osaka, I love youuuu!" "Nice to meet you!" "Ganbarimasu!" (I'll do my best!)

"Midnight Memories" →

Huge sing-along during the chorus

Harry hyped up the crowd

"Kiss You" →

The boys waved and walked down the runway to the sub-stage

Louis Tomlinson took over MC duties, praising Japan

"Little Things" →

Fans instinctively turned on their phone lights, creating a beautiful wave of lights

One of the most intimate moments of the night

"Night Changes" →

Zayn Malik’s voice was especially mesmerizing, sending chills through the arena

Many fans were in tears

Encore: "Best Song Ever" →

The entire stadium exploded with energy

The perfect closing song

SETLIST - Saitama Super Arena (Feb 27th Show)

REPORT: YUKO KATO | PHOTOS: TAKASHI SEKINE

The setlist was mostly the same, with a notable change:

"Happily" (played in Osaka) was swapped for "Stockholm Syndrome" in Saitama.

Louis even joked: "Maybe this show is even better than Osaka?"

Harry was especially playful, dancing and moving more than usual, likely feeding off the Tokyo crowd’s energy.

Fans left beyond satisfied, many hoping for a DVD release.

ONE DIRECTION'S SOCIAL MEDIA POSTS FROM JAPAN

HARRY STYLES

"さいたま、がんばります!" (Saitama, I'll do my best!)

"おおさか、がんばります!" (Osaka, I'll do my best!)

"日本だいすき。" (I love Japan.)

"Thou shalt have a fishy, when the boat comes in."

"My Winding Wheel." (likely a reference to Ryan Adams' song)

NIALL HORAN

"Watching City v Newcastle in Osaka!"

"Did Stockholm Syndrome tonight for the first time! Really enjoyed it."

"Off to the gym, then heading to the stadium for one last show in Japan!"

"Japan, it was a blast! Had an amazing time. Thanks for having us!"

LIAM PAYNE

"Great show, Tokyo!"

"Really enjoyed adding Stockholm Syndrome tonight!"

"Hope you're ready for a great show, Osaka!"

LOUIS TOMLINSON

"Can't wait for tonight’s show! Always fun in Japan! BIG LOVE!!! X"

Final Thoughts

One Direction’s Japan Tour was an unforgettable experience.

Harry’s adorable attempts at speaking Japanese

Niall’s overwhelming fan love

Zayn’s mesmerizing vocals

Liam & Louis keeping the crowd engaged

With record-breaking energy, emotional performances, and a deep connection to Japanese fans, it’s no wonder the boys loved their time in Japan just as much as their fans did.

Until next time… arigatou, One Direction! 🎤💙! 😊

ID Gossip! Gossip!

Check out the latest 1D gossip from our UK correspondent!

Did Harry Get His Rumored Girlfriend’s Initials Tattooed?

Did Harry Styles get a tattoo of Victoria’s Secret model Nadine Leopold’s name? Maybe.

There have been rumors that the two are very close, and their relationship seems serious enough that Harry allegedly got her initials tattooed on a very personal place for his 21st birthday.

It’s unlikely he would visit a tattoo shop in Los Angeles, as that would attract too much unwanted attention. Instead, it's said that he had a tattoo artist come to his home to do it in private.

Since the contract with the tattoo artist was leaked, no further details have emerged.

Another rumor is that Nadine has moved closer to Harry’s place in Los Angeles.

However, she frequently travels between New York and LA for work, so no one knows for sure if they are truly living together.

One thing is certain—unless Harry himself reveals the tattoo, we may never see it.

Harry Doll Coming Soon?

A new satirical puppet show, Spitting Image, is reportedly in development, and Harry Styles will be one of the celebrities featured.

If true, expect hilarious (and possibly ruthless) parodies of Harry on British TV.

Beware: Selfie Sticks!

Selfie sticks are starting to be banned at concerts in Australia!

While One Direction’s Australian concerts were a big success, there’s a new concert rule that 1D fans should know:

Several venues have begun restricting selfie sticks due to safety concerns.

Interestingly, the ban only applies to fans, not the band themselves, which some may find unfair.

Meanwhile, Louis Tomlinson was spotted in Australia with his girlfriend Eleanor Calder, enjoying a relaxing day at Bondi Beach.

A Latin Version of 1D?

Rumors are swirling that Simon Cowell is creating a Latin version of One Direction.

The new group is said to be called “Salaam” and will have a more intense style than 1D.

However, fans are skeptical, believing no group can replace 1D.

Liam’s Side Projects

According to Marvin Humes, Liam Payne may soon collaborate with a mix of artists.

Liam has already been working on house music remixes in LA, and now he’s exploring hip-hop and other genres.

Could a solo project be in the works?

Harry × Leo?

Rumors of Harry Styles and Leonardo DiCaprio’s connection have resurfaced.

Hollywood producer Brian Grazer reportedly wants Harry to star in an upcoming project in Norway, alongside A-list actors.

Harry and Leo have known each other for a while, and speculation about them working together on a film has been around for some time.

Whether this new project will fit into 1D’s schedule remains to be seen, but Harry seems interested.

What Are the Other Members Up To?

Liam → Exploring DJ and production work

Louis → Getting involved in management and business

Zayn → Continuing his collaboration with Naughty Boy

Niall → Unclear for now, but fans are waiting to see what he does next

Stay tuned for more 1D gossip! 🎤✨

[bigskydreaming]

So, been awhile! Apologies for that - took a step back from most social media sites for a few months because the accumulated stresses and everpresent urgency to most things I've been dealing with for the past five plus years finally caught up with me and I kinda just....crashed, and needed some time to get my head on straight. Or whatever the non-obvious-pun version of that might be for a Known Bisexual. Everything was getting to be too constantly 'stop and go' for me, if that makes sense.....like I'd TRY to be more present on here, TRY to work on things like my patreon and fic and meta and stuff like that because I've really wanted to get back to creating actual stuff that people enjoy instead of being like My Issues: The Latest Installment and the like, but then something else would crop up and kill my momentum before it even really got going and I'd have to duck away yet again, and rinse and repeat.

HENCE! I took a more dedicated, extended leave to try and get into a headspace and build a buffer that better lends itself to me getting back to the kinds of posting/writing conditions I've thrived under in the past. It took longer than I thought, but I've never been good at accurately estimating things lol. I've still been on twitter somewhat sporadically, since a huge part of why I hate that site is its format makes it all but impossible to really get to ranting at length...y'know, as I do, my tried and true time-suck method of procrastinating...and with everything going on in the world these days I didn't want to disconnect entirely even though I did need time to work through some shit. BUT I DIGRESS.

Point is, felt like I needed something more substantial than the optimistic-but-lacking-in-actual-energy-and-planning measures I've attempted in the past couple years in order to get on top of things and achieve a measure of consistency and stability again. Less shooting for the moon because I just WANT to be back to my older, happier/more content patterns, more....putting some actual time and thought into how I can realistically make that happen instead of just trying to will it into existence through sheer stubbornness. Because obviously, THAT always works.

ANYWAY. It'll still be a couple days before I get back to regular posting/reblogging patterns or much of any of that at all.....don't be confused if you see some blink and you miss them temporary posts from me over the next day or two. I'm testing out the formatting and layout of a bunch of posts and graphics made for my patreon and original fiction stuff, since the preview post function doesn't always work with read mores in a post and they're all gonna need that lol. If anyone's up for it, I am finalizing the price/reward tiers of my patreon and could use some thoughts on the different levels - I think I have them mostly figured out but wouldn't mind some additional perspectives on how I broke things down and if I'm missing some alternatives. Just message me directly if you'd like to weigh in or lend me your thoughts!

I've never wanted my tumblr to be all about fic or just original content or anything like that, so the patreon's meant to kinda keep all that separate beyond just generalized update announcements on here. The blog will remain just a regular multi-purpose smorgasboard of my reblogs and thoughts on other posts and meta about my various fandoms and all that jazz. The patreon discord will have spaces having to do with my various fanfics, but they'll never be exclusive to it in any way, and every fic update I make will still be on my blog same as always. I've been building masterlists of all my Dick Grayson meta and all my Teen Wolf meta, as well as headcanons and writing snippets/scenes that never got posted elsewhere because I didn't consider them full fics, and I'm starting a series of posts that lean directly into my tendencies to be an Overly Opinionated Asshole who - historically speaking - has never been, uh, shy, shall we say, about Having Thoughts about various fandom patterns or trends.

So....look out for the upcoming "Kalen Vs Fandoms" post series. What? It sounded catchy to me. First up:

"Fandoms' tendency to pick one character per fandom to have every other character introduce as the dumbest person they've ever met, but no its okay, they're actually really fond of them and universally defaulting to a judgmental or patronizing shot at their intelligence every single time they're the topic of conversation among other characters just naturally happens to be part of every single other character's love language - is this perhaps NOT as endearing or affectionate as fandoms tend to treat it as?" Aka "How many people can actually say they'd be comfortable with the idea of every single person in their family or friend group leading with "I genuinely think they're stupid but I love them anyway" each time they talk about them to someone else, and if you don't think that's a normal conversation starter for people to have about a loved one, why do so many fandoms attempt to treat it as such?"

.....the length of post title should not be taken as an indicator of how long each post is. If people want to draw their own conclusions about post length based solely on the fact that they're, well, by me.....I mean. That's totally your prerogative. Nothing I can do about that!

Post topics will run the gamut, if for no other reason than gamut is an amazing word that doesn't get used enough and I wanted to use it. From "Its totally valid to project onto characters and use fic as a way to work through various issues via that projection but how much does this have to do with how defensively people react to the slighest criticism of character choices in their fics as though personally attacked - discuss" to "Criticizing and condemning the writers of source material for specific things - to rave reviews from followers - only to then do the exact same specific things in your own fics - to rave reviews from followers - while claiming that the mere fact of being a fan not getting paid for writing those specific things somehow makes them less worthy of criticism.....are we all seeing the problem here."

There's a slight chance those titles are perhaps....somewhat unnecessarily asshole-coded, but like, in a whimsical way! I think. Whatever. I'm sure it'll be fine!

Will either rhyme OR reason be involved in the order of post topics? No. Not even a little bit. Next question.

Aside from "Kalen vs Fandoms" I've been putting a lot of thought into what other topics or content I can expound upon at length, to the possible interest of people. I'm good at writing and editing and analyzing narratives. Not claiming to be the best, just not trying to fish for compliments or anything. I think my analysis of narrative and character choices has generally been of interest in most fandoms I've been in, but when I'm IN a fandom, I do personally invest in favorite characters and stories that inevitably put me in opposition to takes from fans of other characters and stories within that fandom, and when that happens, the Horseman of Discourse inevitably follows and I....do the discourse. Look, I am who I am. I see the discourse, I engage with the discourse. Unless I don't care about the topic of discourse, in which case I don't, because that discourse doesn't matter. Obviously.

SO! In the interest of posting about narrative analysis and breakdowns of writing choices, character arcs and the like but WITHOUT engaging in The Discourse, I'll be making an easy-to-find post of fandoms or source material whose characters and narratives I'm familiar enough with TO have opinions or analysises of, but for whatever reason, the fandom has never clicked for me and I've never actually felt a desire to be part of it. Thus I'm not likely to be invested or compelled enough to follow up on anyone disagreeing with my personal thoughts or analysis or various character arcs or narratives, because its literally just like, my opinion man, presented for no other purpose than to potentially be of interest to anyone who might be interested in it. No actual follow up needed on my part because I'm not particularly chuffed if people have different takes, they're totally valid, mine don't exist for the purpose of being defended there, they just exist because Opinions, I Had Them, Here Look. Or Don't. Its Totally Whatever.

Because I don't feel as strongly about these pieces of media as I do fandoms I'm personally invested in, it is trickier to come up with a comprehensive list of ones I can weigh in on. So please feel free to hit up my inbox with any fandoms, narrative or character arcs you're curious about my take on, and I'll let you know if they're fandoms I consider myself a participant in, and thus not really right for this series, or if they're something I'm just not knowledgeable about.....but if they're not an actual fandom of mine and I AM familiar enough with them to have an analytical take or response, I'll add them to the masterlist/post as a potential topic.

This series will be called and tagged "Kalen Vs Writing Choices" (That I Personally Don't Like Or Think Could Be Better). The parenthetical part is there solely to be a disclaimer clarifying that my ego is not so great that I think that My Subjective Take on the writing choices made or not made is the only one that matters. I mean, I don't intend to include the disclaimer as part of the actual tag and will mostly leave it as y'know, like, something IMPLIED, but the disclaimer still exists and thus counts. That's totally how that works.

And that's how I've chosen to awkwardly segue into the final intended-of-three post series.....Dramatically Abrupt Tonal Shift Ahoy!

This next part will get long, but I would truly appreciate it if you gave it a read despite its length and even if - especially if - the next topic isn't one you typically look for my take on, or even avoid my take on, because I don't think I'm likely to ever express my thoughts on this matter any more genuinely or directly than this. Like I'm not trying to guilt anyone or anything like that, its more I'm just trying to say if you ever read ANY single post of mine when it comes to the next topic or pick a post to base your decision on whether or not TO wade into something I have to say on this subject, I would appreciate it if you made that this next part here, as I think it best conveys where I'm coming from when it comes to most any post I make along these lines.

So. The thing is....most people who've followed me long know that in the past I've frequently been extremely vocal on topics of rape, incest and abuse, specifically through the lens of being a male survivor. These absolutely are personal for me. This has led to me having a lot of Overly Opinionated Takes on these topics and how they're talked about, depicted and treated within fandom conversations, fics, and social media spheres and conversations at large. I've also pretty obviously not posted on these topics nearly as much in recent years as I once did - but not because I feel any less strongly about them.

And that's one hundred percent because it's frustrating as hell to see a very good portion of the posts I make about any OTHER topic in my usual fandoms go on to accumulate hundreds of notes....while NONE of my posts on these topics ever break out of my direct circle of mutuals. I don't say it to be egotistical - look how many notes I get on stuff - I say it because its literally objectively factual, and the disparity is dramatic, and the disparity is a PROBLEM. Especially given how much the topics of male rape and abuse - in SPECIFIC - tend to be, within most of my past fandoms.

This disparity has a very clear reason for existing too: people have never been shy about citing that they refrain from reblogging or referencing my posts on these topics because they feel like I act like I'm the only opinion that matters on them, the sole authority to be listened to here, that I use my status as a male rape survivor as a cudgel, to shut down opposing takes or points of view.

Which I would totally be fine with or understand if not for the fact that I've always gone out of my way to express that I don't want or expect my opinions on these matters to be taken as anything other than my personal opinions born of my personal experiences, which I cite because they're relevant. I don't think that survivors should have to disclose their status or personal history or details in order to have their opinion heard on these topics, but I deeply resent how often survivors making the choice TO disclose their personal history or relationship with these topics in order to directly unpack how that informs our perspective....is weaponized AGAINST us, in order to shut down and discredit OUR takes even while literally accusing us of only disclosing in order to do the exact same thing to others.

Something that I've posted about a LOT in the hopes of getting it spread throughout fandoms that regularly talk about male rape is for literal decades I've seen people harp on about how men can be raped too, believe male survivors, don't believe the myth that men can't be raped, etc. Which like, I appreciate the sentiment, but the thing I've tried to express for years is that in my personal experience, and those of a lot of other male survivors I've talked to - this is not really the biggest or even ONE of the biggest issues most male survivors face.

And the fact that for all that there are many survivors in fandom who have made the difficult choice to be open about their traumas and recoveries - which I ALWAYS respect, as that is never easy for any of us - a huge part of why I've always made a point to disclose my own history as a male survivor is because there just flat out aren't a lot of perspectives from MALE survivors in specific, being circulated in pretty much any of the fandom spaces I've ever been in over the past twenty years. I don't even slightly think I'm any more of an expert or authority on topics of rape or abuse - beyond how they pertain to my own personal experiences - than any other survivor. But as long as the topic of MALE rape and abuse in specific, how men are affected by these things, how society reacts to us and treats us in the aftermath....as long as these are the topics explicitly being discussed.....I do think my perspective as a male survivor is pretty fucking relevant, and admittedly, I tend to get pretty heated about pushing BACK against attempts to invalidate it or shout it down as though I somehow have LESS of a stake in or right to be heard in these particular conversations. And I get how this has at times come across as attempting to dominate a given conversation.

But like.....I'm also going to point back up to the part where I said earlier....I'm an Overly Opinionated Asshole. I say it somewhat deprecatingly, for the lulz, but also not. I'm very passionate about conversations and topics I feel strongly about and I don't make apologies for it. And for the most part....this has NEVER stopped people from reblogging or liking posts I make about pretty much any other topic....despite me not really coming across that differently in most of them, compared to how I come across in most of my past posts on topics of rape and abuse.

See....I'm in complete agreement with everyone who emphasizes that rape isn't a gendered issue. That it can and does happen to individuals of any gender or identity. But the reason why I've always found the focus on 'remember that men can be raped too' more performative than helpful is because for almost twenty years, I've been posting on these topics in various fandom spaces and trying to express that in my personal experience, something that REALLY deserves to be talked about more is the fact that rape is not gendered. But rape CULTURE very much IS.

Like it or not, we live in a very gendered society still. While yes, men can be raped too.....for a number of reasons - most of them born of sexism and misogyny in specific - the conditions, catalysts and reasons for men being raped are NOT interchangeable with those at work in instances of women being raped, as an example. Because the way society treats men and women in pretty much EVERY situation is different. Similarly, the way society REACTS to men and women disclosing they've been raped is different. And so on and so on.

So 'remember that men can be raped too' has some basis in societal claims that men can't be raped or that rape IS a gendered issue....but not as much as I think most people tend to believe. And twenty years after I first started searching out perspectives of other male survivors in online fandom spaces, beyond just real world physical support groups, I'm STILL hearing 'remember that men can be raped too' dominating all conversations about male survivors just as regularly and repetitiously as it was twenty years ago....as though the world has not changed at all, and the needle on this particular facet of male survivorhood hasn't changed an inch in the past two decades when no, actually, it very much has.

The reason why I feel so strongly about offering up my perspective as a male survivor in a relative absence of seeing other male survivors' perspectives circulated is I honestly believe the reason this is so consistently upheld as the biggest problem facing male survivors is its a carry-over from women attempting to be heard and believed when disclosing....which makes sense and is completely understandable....as long as there's a complete absence of male survivors offering up any perspective that's to the contrary.

But the fact that we live in a gendered society where rape culture, not rape itself, still very much IS gendered due to being a product of....living in a gendered society....means that the differences in how society treats and reacts to men and women affects every aspect of how society treats and reacts to men and women survivors. And that starts with disclosure itself. In my personal experience - and fully acknowledging that I don't speak for any other male survivor in this moment, and I absolutely do believe there are those who have experiences to the contrary, and that matters too - MY experience, which also matters, is that not once in the twenty years since I've started disclosing about my own rape, or the csa I experienced as a child - have I actually had an issue being believed.

With full acknowledgment of how unfair it is, how gross, the reality of living in a sexist, patriarchal society where male privilege very much exists, is that while men can be raped too, this traumatic thing that happened to us does not in any way actually invalidate or negate our male privilege. It doesn't turn it off for the duration of our experience or any time its relevant to our experiences going forward. We carry that privilege with us through our recoveries and the rest of our lives just as much as we did before it, because its an inalienable result of being in a society that allocates privilege solely on the basis of being born a man who identifies and presents as a cis man (with respect to trans individuals having another axis of experience that very much differentiates all matters pertaining to rape culture, in comparison to cis men, just as much as in the case of cis women, albeit in different ways).

And the gross unfortunate reality of our society is that it ALWAYS prioritizes believing men over women, in all matters......especially cis white men like myself.

So the simple fact is....even the act of disclosure - and the likelihood of being believed when voluntarily choosing to share the information that we've been raped - means that a cis white man like myself does not receive the same reaction as most women receive when attempting to share that same information. Society preconditions a lot of people to be more receptive to taking cis white men at their word, comparative to affording anyone else that basic respect.

Getting people to believe me when I say I was raped has never been the issue for me that other individuals face.

But that doesn't mean that my disclosure doesn't result in issues for me.

Because while being raped never invalidated or negated any of my cis white male privilege, neither did having cis white male privilege negate the possibility of me being raped - OR the fact that society ALSO preconditions people to be really fucking shitty about survivors.

(Hell, ANY kind of living victim....with this also being very relevant to abuse survivors, survivors of physical assault, etc. Much like people can be overflowing with empathy for unborn children who can't offer up any take to the contrary to whatever people want to say "in defense or support of unborn children," only to turn around and cease caring about most of those babies the second they're born, people tend to be just as overflowing with empathy for deceased victims of abuse, rape, assault and the like....who, y'know, also can't offer up any take to the contrary of whatever they say or claim about what they WOULD want, what they DO deserve, etc. Present those same people with a living child or a living victim who can and DOES have an opinion that doesn't match what those people feel it SHOULD be? Watch attitudes shift VERY quickly, as allllll that empathy hurriedly flushes down the drain as though it was never there).

But the point is, my cis white male privilege is always here regardless. But that doesn't mean rape culture isn't shitty enough that it can't find a way to circumvent even that in pursuit of discrediting/invalidating/ignoring survivors, just like that privilege can be circumvented in order to create the situation where a man is raped in the first place.

Its just....the gendered nature of rape culture means HOW those attempts to discredit/invalidate/ignore male survivors manifests.....doesn't look the same as when it leads to just outright disbelieving other survivors when they attempt to disclose.

And that is how I can be listened to and reblogged on most any other topic, no matter HOW I go about presenting myself in those posts or conversations - ironically in no small part BECAUSE of my cis white male privilege - while only getting crickets when I post on these topics, BECAUSE people only choose THOSE posts to make my presentation or level of intensity a dealbreaker, and thus their very reason for ignoring anything I have to say there. Not because they don't believe me, but because the WAY I say it is too aggressive, too biased, too emotional, too intense....its an attack on their autonomy, an attempt to override whatever they previously thought or believed about the subject and just force them to adhere to my take.

Because the thing about living in a sexist, patriarchal society is.....that IS a thing that cis white men often do, and a lot of society is structured to make it easier for us to achieve this in most instances, frankly. This just happens to be a rare exception, because for a lot of reasons that would make this post even longer - and that again, I've often posted about before - upholding and reinforcing rape culture on a society wide level supersedes the usual focus on accommodating INDIVIDUAL cis white men in having their opinions heard and circulated.

I'm trying to be as frank as possible here about the intersection of privilege and experiences of being a male survivor because I don't believe its to anyone's benefit to be disingenuous about it, and I do think that it doesn't actually supplant the fact that male survivors do have just as much right - and NEED - to be heard and listened to about our experiences with rape and perspective there, and have those ACKNOWLEDGED, as anyone else.

Its just....the existence of privilege and how that differentiates most experiences in a gendered society matters, and thus.....it needs to be part of the conversation rather than just treating all responses to rape and survivors as agendered, just because rape itself can and does happen to people of all genders.

There's actually a fair amount to get into when it comes to differences in a lot of mens' disclosures vs womens' in my experience, but just as an extension of what I'm talking about here, one of the specific elements in my experience is that men often don't have a problem being believed about having been raped or abused.....but one of the predominant responses is society is heavily preconditioned to view male rape and abuse survivors as almost inevitably feeling they need to exert a similar power over someone else in order to claim back their own feelings of pride and safety in their masculinity. Effectively.....most every male rape or abuse survivor I've ever talked with at length shares a similar experience of being believed when they disclose about being a survivor....but noting a clear and direct shift in how whomever they disclosed to interacts with them....with EVERY expression of anger or outrage - particularly in the matter of their rape or abuse - being viewed as evidence of us being ticking time bombs who are inevitably primed to explode and take out what happened to us on someone else.

There's being cautious around cis white men, for example, because we're cis white men, which I totally get and am not expressing an opinion on. I'm just saying even with that acknowledged, there is a SHIFT in how people interact with me after I've disclosed to them personally, in how they....scrutinize me, for lack of a better way of putting it, in very noticeable ways and areas. Like its consistent. And think about how its not totally true that media doesn't portray men as being capable of being raped or abused, typically. Think about how often you've seen procedurals where the backstory of the rapist or abuser of the week is specifically THAT they were a rape or abuse survivor themselves, usually in childhood. Its NOT that society doesn't believe or accept that men can be raped too. Its that society is primed to default to viewing the very act of men being raped as an indicator of the shift from them being a man to being a man who is likely to become a predator themselves.

Rape appears all the time in regards to male survivors in media. Its just it usually just appears in the context of men who arent presented AS survivors, but rather as predators or aggressors themselves, and their past victimization treated as a catalyst rather than a trauma. This is not to excuse any such character or depiction of course, its simply to emphasize that the very angle from which male survivorhood is approached in most contexts is different from that of other survivors. Just like the angle from which their survivorhood is approached is different from that of male survivors. And thus the issue most men have with disclosing in my experience is NOT that we're afraid we won't be believed....its that we're afraid once we disclose, we'll be viewed as inherently more dangerous because our victimization primes us to be that much more likely to inflict ourselves on others in some attempt to reclaim our masculinity.

And its categorically NOT about any group of survivors having it better or worse than others, which is why I LOATHE people saying variations of 'you wouldn't say that about this if it happened to a woman' because anyone attempting to pit male survivors against other survivors en masse is NOT doing so for my benefit or with my endorsement. The point is just that each way society and rape culture interacts with a different group of survivors presents different problems and issues that need addressing, and aren't interchangeable.

There is a REASON why the subject of Dick Grayson's anger - usually in the context of things that have happened to him - is so important to me, specifically in terms of ensuring that its treated as something he's allowed to have....rather than an indicator that he's going to messily explode his life in a way that impacts everyone around him negatively.

Now.....if you've never considered that aspect of rape vs rape culture and how it can differently affect and shape the experiences and recovery of cis male survivors versus trans male survivors and nonbinary survivors and survivors who identify as women.....I ask that you consider what else my perspective might be able to add to actually productive, meaningful conversations about rape, rape culture and survivorhood, that you never would have thought TO think about before, without male survivors bringing it up based on it having played a role in personal experiences.

And then I just ask that you please think about the implications of someone known for being a vocal presence in certain fandoms, with a fairly sizable number of posts widely circulating throughout them......never having posts about male rape and survivorhood circulated to any noticeable degree, despite writing DOZENS of them, in all kinds of different moods, ways and intensity levels.....and all of them while active in fandoms where male rape is regularly discussed or focused on due to certain characters or storylines......and ask yourselves if it maybe seems a little off for the disparity to be THAT large. Again: I have written DOZENS of posts on this topic. All with less than twenty notes. I'll be composing a masterlist of them in the near future as well, but for now I'm just saying. Please just think about that.

While I'm going to make an effort to be more deliberate in how I approach this topic in posts going forward, tonally and in terms of word choice, I do have a right to be just as passionate about it as any other topic, and it is FUCKED UP to think that my personal experiences here should be pointed to as the very REASON I should need to be LESS passionate than I am anywhere else, in order to be heard or listened to. Still. I am not actually trying to override anyone else's viewpoint, present myself as some kind of ultimate authority, or shut down other survivors in any way....I'm just trying to uphold the relevancy and importance of adding my own perspective to the conversation.

I don't want to be the only voice listened to here. But as long as my voice is relevant, and I don't see or hear a lot of other voices speaking from a similar standpoint, I would like to be a RESOURCE on topics of male survivorhood, rape and recovery, from that particular standpoint. And even if and when other male survivors might perchance add their own perspectives with experiences and takes contrary to mine....I welcome that! Because mine is not the only one, cis white male survivors are no more a monolith than anyone else, and none of that will in any way actually invalidate my own perspective or experiences or render them no longer relevant at all.

Being a resource on a topic that has always been everpresent in most fandoms I've gravitated to - which has often been a reason FOR me gravitating to those fandoms in specific.....that has always been my ONLY goal with these kinds of posts. NOT an authority.

So, having my posts - which for all my willingness to write them, has never been easy for me and probably never will - reframed in such a negative way, dismissed and even weaponized against me - has over the years demoralized me and made it harder to find the energy TO tackle these topics, as much as I'd like to. But I do feel that I've found a second wind when it comes to this and think I'm ready to wade back into being Overly Opinionated on these topics as well.

So that's the third of the three post series I'll be starting, "Kalen vs Topics of Rape, Rape Culture and Survivorhood As Perceived Through A Singular Personalized Cis White Male Lens, Presented By (and With) My Middle Finger At Any Attempts to Subvert Or Undermine My Thoughts On Them By Reframing Them As Me Trying To Gatekeep Male Survivorhood No Matter How Many Times I Use The Words IN MY EXPERIENCE or IN MY OPINION, Which I Do A Lot, Because This Has Been Happening For A Very Long Time, And I Am Tired, But Still Very Opinionated, And Still Very Here, So Bite Me I Guess."

.....I'm still workshopping that one's title. Its a process.

ANYWAY. At the moment, I'm aiming to make one post of each once a month, and if I do more than that great, but not trying to pressure myself to do any more than that at the moment in the interests of Realism. We'll play it by ear. If I have more free time or energy than expected, maybe I'll do more. Its not like I have a shortage of Very Opinionated Opinions, after all. You've met me.

BUT I DIGRESS.

So in the interest of not making this long ass post any fucking longer, not that anyone really expected otherwise from my first post back in months, like could I REALLY even claim to ACTUALLY be back if all I had to show for it was some weak little lackluster drabble that wasn't even 3,000 words? Methinks the fuck not -

Well, have an abrupt and anticlimactic finish that comes out of nowhere despite giving myself literally 4,900 words to build to something appropriately profound or meaningful or whatthefuckever. Y'know. Your standard Kalen Classic. The abrupt and anticlimactic wrap up I mean, not the profound and deeply meaningful one. Eh. You get it.

Did ya miss me? I missed you!

PS - I was Informed that we are almost to the end of Tommy T's Tenure, is it almost safe to come back to Nightwing comics? Does anyone know when his last issue is? Have we planned the party yet? Who's on balloons, we definitely need balloons.

[questforgalas]

Now that I've played the MW campaign and am even more unhinged about the MW3 campaign, here are my completely unasked for thoughts on how Activision should've mapped out the games for an at least 6 game story arc

MW

Absolutely no changes. Kyle is a precious muffin. Price is a precious muffin. Alex is a precious muffin. Farah is a queen.

Interesting campaign. Diverse levels. Dynamic and well thought out storyline.

MW2

My baby. The love of my life. My most precious muffin. That campaign? That storyline? Chef's kiss. Ale and Rudy? The best additions. Valeria?? Fucking wonderful. That plot twist?? Grasping my pearls

No changes

MW3

More 141 levels, make the intro levels 141 as a well oiled machine, digging up the intel telling about the prison break. Give more background to what Farah is in the middle of instead of dropping right in especially with fucking Graves suddenly chilling on the comms, bridging that gap between MW2 and here. Take out a good chunk of the Makarov cut scenes and give more levels chasing intel, letting the player put together the pieces with every cold trail Makarov leaves behind, getting frustrated along with the team. Keep the flashback once the team reaches boiling point, but make Ghost less inclined towards Johnny to keep more inline with their reluctant start in MW2.

Shepherd and Graves go off the grid after they give their intel, they disappear. Makarov is making moves in Urzikstan so 141 goes to help ULF (did I mention more 141?). It was a distraction, they uncover Makarov's plans for London, scramble back, it plays out, Price ends up dead (it's a military game, people are going to die, and Price dying had the most potential impact. Come along, I'll explain), Makarov gets away.

Final cut scene is a funeral send off Price deserves, montage of the boys back on base dealing with the aftermath, and Laswell finding Ghost, explaining how he's the Lieutenant, he's the obvious next choice to take up the mantle and Ghost simply says "I'm not the obvious choice" and the final scene pans on Gaz, the Robin to Price's Batman.

The levels will be meatier, longer, and at least 5 more added to deepen the story. Diversity of the play style will be more than just standard campaign and online-layout. The Makarov plot will be discovered by the player, not told to them, adding more intrigue to the character. The final level will be multi tiered, hopping between the two pairs. Actually 8 hours of gameplay instead of the measly 3 they gave us (yes, the MW3 campaign is 3 hours of gameplay compared to MW and MW2s 8 hours each)

MW4

Open to 141 arriving on mission, Soap tapping Gaz on the shoulder and says "Ready when you are, Captain" with that cheeky smile. Makarov's gone dark, eerily quiet the past couple months, but they have a lead on Shepherd and Graves so they're going in. It all points back to Mexico, Graves accepting his military career is fucked after Las Almas and turning Shadow Company into full mercs instead of PMCs now, specializing in weapons dealings. He recognized the advantage a deal with Valeria could have and they've been working together.

CUT TO LOS VAQUEROS/141 REUNION. More Alejandro and Rudy background (just let Alain Mesa, the BAFTA Game Award Nominee for this freaking role, fucking shine). Dive into the Valeria background, make the raid mentioned during her interrogation a flashback level in Valeria's POV. The team has to go undercover to get close to the intel, Rudy gets picked, gathers the intel, but gets compromised. Now its a race to rescue Rudy. Ale and Gaz go after Rudy while Soap and Ghost follow the lead Rudy got them. Ale and Gaz raid a cartel base/prison, let Ale take Gaz under his wing recognizing the young captain's feeling the pressure, some banter, some advice, wholesome Ale and Gaz bonding.

Soap, on the other hand, is barely being contained by Ghost. He's in full attack dog mode with Graves scent nearby and Ghost has half a mind to let the demolition expert go completely feral, but the lieutenant part of him keeps his sergeant in check. Further their dynamic, more banter balancing right on the edge. They clear out the compound, find a gold mine of intel around the dealings, and Johnny gets to put the bullet right between Graves' eyes.

One line in the intel catches their eyes - Makarov

MW5/6

Make the Makrov storyline a 3 game storyline - MW3 intro and back-to-back MW 5 and 6. Now with ties in Mexico and ULF, all established teams and beloved characters can be brought in in some aspect throughout both games to take him down.

Ale and Rudy are cleaning up El Sin Nombre's ties in Las Almas, cutting each line of Valeria's arms dealings, trying to cut off the courier of Makarov's destruction.

Farah continues to lead ULF to free Urzikstan, Makarov taking advantage of the dissent and chaos and placing a foothold there, ultimately dividing forces and efforts from his background machinations.

With Makarov's trail warm again, the 141 are out for blood. Could take the plunge and make GhostSoap canon through subtle dialogue options or touch gestures in cut scenes. The end is possibly near, they're all allowing themselves to think about the future, why not take the plunge Activision? Or they stay vague/platonic and the dynamic is further developed. Dialogue options and cut scenes show further bond with Gaz as well who's stepped into being Captain a little more, easing into the shoes.

MW5 is cat and mouse. Makarov leaves little treats and traps and the team is chasing after their tails, always 3 steps behind him. Give Makarov more scenes, not telling the player his plan but let his character development fly. Let the unhingedness flourish.

Finally, they catch a break at the end of the game and MW6 is the final chase. 8 hours of them hunting down Makarov. Ale and Rudy cleaned up Las Almas and can join them, bringing the whole gang together internationally (bonus points to make one a cold weather mission and the two Mexicans are just bitching the whole time just for Soap and Ghost to tease them back about payback for having to deal with the Mexican desert for a whole week). Two characters would die (not in one game, over the course of the two) - Farah (she's been a fighter her whole life, it would be a full circle for her to heroically go out with a gun in her hand) and either Ghost or Soap.

Soap dying here would be so much more impactful. He'd be more established as a character, have deeper relationships with all members of the game, and it's highly possible to have a situation where a charge isn't going so he's the only one who can pull it off (reminiscent of Hevy in TCW). Going out in a blaze just like he's always imagined.

Ghost dying would be another full circle option with his canon (it would be a sacrificial choice, dying on his own terms as his own choice) and with his long career, it would be heartbreaking but understandable. This also leaves the 141 in the hands of the two youngest, the Captain and the new Lieutenant, tasked with bringing in the next generation of the best soldiers.

And if there just happens to be a cut scene where Johnny has an extra pair of dog tags and a modest ring dangling from his chain? Then you know I infiltrated the Activision writers' room.

Oh what happened to Shepherd you ask? End credits role on MW6 and another cut scene begins. A lone cabin in the middle of nowhere in the woods, smoke trailing out of the chimney. Cut interior, a haggard Shepherd bent over a desk, mumbling to himself, scribbling on something. He tacks the paper on the board in front of him, revealing Gaz and Soap's pictures amidst a mess of strings and maps and notes saying "Traitors". Then it cuts black

Boom, there you go Activision. Enjoy all of your awards and record breaking sales. It could've been that easy

[paragonrobits]

thinking about Dak'kon in Planescape Torment (initially because Lae'zel's popularity in Baldur's Gate 3 has me thinking about how the contrast between her and Dak'kon is a pretty good description of how thier respective peoples have diverged and also why they hate each other so much) and specifically his statline in how that nicely corrosponds to his own personal conflicts

Dak'kon is a zerth, a sort of warrior monk that practices martial skill and magical ability and serve as guardians of the githzerai cities, and due to a partially manufactured crisis of faith, he no longer truly has certainty in anything; not in the teachings of his faith, and not in himself. This is reflected in him being the only multi-class character in the game in a traditional sense; he is a fighter/mage, leveling up one after the other.

Dak'kon's stat layout is, after he is fully upgraded: Strength 18, Dexterity 18, Constituion 18, Intelligence 13, Wisdom 13, and Charisma 13. On the one hand he has high stats across the board; mechanically, he's both a capable spell-slinger that can act in support or as a combat caster, and he's a frontline tank. In what is most likely intended to be the canon-ish playthrough, he is the ONLY front-line damage dealer in a traditional sense. He can hit like a truck, once you add him to your party he is likely to be your main damage dealer, and he's just very strong across the board. This is an excellent stat line... for a fighter.

But he is also a mage, and for this, his intelligence isn't AWFUL (in fact, he's significantly more intelligent than an ordinary person would be, which is also reflected in interactions) but its not as high as would be ideal for a more specialized mage. His intelligence is significantly lower than it should be for anyone that is taking any kind of levels in wizard (and Torment's mage class is very much a wizard); his spell slots are notably less numerous, and he's most likely to be a fighter with some casting capability.

This reflects his in-game story. Dak'kon's crisis of faith was exacerbated by a holy writ of sorts that takes the form of a complex puzzle, and one of the accounts is of how Zerthimon, the prophet revered by Dak'kon's people, deceived his illithid masters by pretending to submit to them. Dak'kon has his doubts because another such teaching concerns a traitor, and then what he assumes to be the final teaching is of Zerthimon's conflict with Gith, founder-queen of the githyanki, when their peoples split. Dak'kon has come to fear that Zerthimon gave in and became a slave to their illithid captors, which was why he divided their people at the eve of victory, and if you ask him about this, he gives one of the VERY FEW impassioned and furious speeches he makes in the game, when normally he is very calm and detached.

If you have a high intelligence and wisdom scores (significantly higher than Dak'kon's, in fact) you can puzzle out more combinations to the teachings and unlock further ones Dak'kon had not found; these provide him an answer to his crisis of faith and ease his soul; Zerthimon did not give in to the illithids, but he recognized that should his people follow the path of war and conquer all that might threaten them, they would lose who they are. But the mechanical bit is that Dak'kons stats are too low to do so; he has no idea these teachings exist at all.

Furthermore, to recruit Dak'kon at all, you must speak to him on philosophy; its not difficult to have a fairly high Wisdom and Intelligent stat combination to pass this without much trouble, and this further indicates how his statline is a bit sub-par for someone in his line of work. He expresses some profound philosophical attitudes and says them well, but he's hard pressed to defend them when you poke holes in them, and he just gloomily concedes. Part of this is that, again, he IS having a crisis of faith and he has difficulty reconciling these problems to other people.

[kradeelav]

so one of the technical bits i challenged myself with this gunter/corrin doujin was to:

(a) figure out an efficient process for professional multi-page artistic works in linux/true OSS programs - from ideation all the way to printer hand-off.

and

(b) a process that fit well with my brain and kept me from spinning my wheels endlessly redoing pages. it's a common problem with longer projects (aka why you see reboots of webcomics all the time, and also why i haven't been able to get "what greater sin" out for three years cuz i sucked at this lol).

why the focus on process though?

after mastering a certian degree of technical proficiency. it's what separates the hobbyist artists from the pros. not to toot my horn, but i'm quite good at project management process at work, and about two years ago it dawned on me to take some of that learned knowledge and actually apply it here if only to save eyestrain/wrist-strain time.

work lazier smarter, not harder etc.

before i get into the process outline, there's two programs that are doing the heavy lifting since i gave them a trial run with the last anthology and they worked great in tandem. (both cost no money and are available on all major OS's btw)

krita, my main drawing program. sketching/inking/speech bubbles/coloring/vector stuff can all be done here.

libreoffice writer - basically microsoft word for linux. i use it for arranging multiple pages, reordering, and exporting as .pdf to give to the printer (while amazing at rendering, krita can't export as pdf or show multi-pages)

so!

process wise, it occurred to me not too long ago that i needed to consolidate my multi-page creative projects into 3 major gates.

thumbnail sketches

proof of concept layout

"last 10" final

thumbnail sketches

thumbnails are a common concept in comics, but they're great for print front/back matter too. thumbnails ain't here to look pretty, their sole purpose to get the idea from your noggin to on the page.

here's a completely unaltered spread from my journal with a ton of thumbs and notes for this doujin.

so what's the kind of stuff i think about with thumbs?

how panels in a comic fit together with the major emotional beats + line of action. does the eye follow the pages naturally? do you "feel" the emotional impact?

does the compositions work with each other? negative/positive space, weight on top or bottom or diagonally, etc. do the pages feel claustrophobic or too empty? do they breathe?

decorative framing elements that reflect the tone you want + how they generally lead the eye across the page

random notes about overall tone or potential future pages

etcetc

at this point i import that digitally, and start drawing a proper sketch off of it.

fast forward from that sketch to:

"proof of concept" layout

i'm calling this proof of concept instead of a draft as they serve different purposes. a draft is a half-finished work you can just screenshot and show to anyone for feedback (like comms). proof of concept here is showing a certian level of completeness across draft pages to measure consistency.

lack of consistency is the mind killer killer of comics.

proof of concept is specifically meant to nip the 'fizzled out halfway' issues in the bud. it's to show you how cool it looks altogether already, but also shed a light on problem areas that are potentially popping up on the earlier side, so there's less time wasted.

this is a little premature in the process for a proof of concept screenshot, but you get the idea here in a later strip, shown here as screenshots imported into libreoffice writer:

another reason that made libreoffice writer essential is the accurate 2-page spread view. between that, being able to resize the page to whatever you need, and the very easy pdf exporter (with customizable compression), i don't know if i could do this kind of project here.

now, backing up - what kinds of consistency are we checking for here?

does the inking/coloring style change noticeably in a jarring way?

is there one comic strip that the pacing/paneling sucks in comparison to the others? or feels awkwardly added in tone and perhaps better saved for a different project?

is there one panel within a sequential series that's torturing you? what's the best way to throw it out and redo it even faster?

do the front/back matter support the meat of the inside in a clever, on-tone way?

did you accidentally change the font halfway through after you liked your new shiny toy? which one works better?

etc

keep in mind we're not just checking the consistency in one strip, it's for the book as a whole.

and then lastly,

"the last ten" final

"the last ten" is a mental concept i've used for the last ten years for single comic pages. it's especially tempting to noodle over endlessly making one comic page perfect, when you could have done ten reasonably good ones in the same time, and so i made this my last step making IC pages.

once when you approach a level of reasonably done, but kinda hate the page and are procrastinating on getting it out, stop, rest your eyes overnight, and list the last ten minor things you'd change.

once when you've changed those? out the door it goes.

i'm gonna switch to a different project but here's a good example of a "last ten" stage applied to illustrations when i did fallen!gunter's FEH mockups.

looks pretty complete, right? WRONG :D

i can't remember the exact last ten i used, but it was something like:

too much of one specific glowy purple on both, i wanted more contrast with the red glow + "water" texture

needed more effects on the first image to better match FEH's aesthetic

change Leigh's credits after they got a chance to see it and give the thumbs up

knee/shin on left looks unfinished painting wise, clean up

missing chest plate silver decorations on left, clean up

etc

this is the last hail mary check to hack your brain into being satisfied with the page. you've had your say, onwards to the next one.

now, you can also have an additional 'last ten' for the project as a whole. but it's especially critical for comic pages to help keep the momentum/tempo/pace going.

anyway!

we'll see how all of this actually works in practice depending on how fast i can get this doujin out. :)

[married2avampire]

The Way You Look Tonight

Chapter two • Enemies to lovers

Ao3 Next

Author’s note: I've re-read this chapter four times while editing, and it still creeps me out a little. Then again, I have a bit of a wild imagination.

Contents: MULTI-CHAPTER, Alucard (Hellsing)xfem!reader, eventual NSFW, written in 2nd person, relatively ambiguous time period but pre-2000s, reader and family members descriptions (other than clothes and personalities) are kept ambiguous for the sake of inclusion, ghost Alucard (kind of?), spooky stuff, Integra is dead and the Hellsing Organization has been dissolved.

3.2k words

Within the week, the electricity had been fixed. You don't need to worry about your lamp's batteries corroding anymore when you put new ones in. Neither do you have to squint in the dim light of a single candle to see the dark shadow in the corner of your room. Now, with the small bulb chandelier in your room, there was no corner that light couldn't reach, even in the dead of night. That seemed to give you a newfound sense of confidence, which had previously been killed when your childhood fear of the dark was rekindled one week ago in the dining room. You still couldn't figure out what it was you’d run into. All the dining room chairs had cushions that were made of rough fabric. Not smooth and silky to the touch. Whatever it was… You knew what you felt. It was a person. There was no other excuse. And you weren't crazy. But you had no choice but to let the matter go. All the clues you might have gotten to there being something wrong with this place led you to nowhere. Your strange dream led you to the manor’s layout which led you to a cut-off page with the letter “D,” being your only tie to an answer. There was simply no logical explanation for the corroding batteries. You didn't even know what caused batteries to corrode other than time. Heat? That was impossible. The house had been freezing that night. You stick to your only answer, “D.” Or was it a “B?” The page had been cut off. Then were you right about a basement? If that was true, and there was a basement, then the previous owner really had something to hide if they cut it out of the building’s layout. The only thing left to do was check for a basement entrance. The problem with that plan was… that the only access to the lower level of the manor you had was the kitchen, the dining room, and the entertainment room. The rest was currently undergoing renovations. Water damage, rats, and other pests — that's what your father told you. If you wanted to get a look around without getting into trouble you’d have to go at night. Hell no. That spelled disaster. You’d read enough mystery horror books to know not to do that. So, with a mystery-hungry heart, you continued to help around the house while trying to forget your strange discoveries and just enjoy the place. 

You were currently helping your mother in the garden, which was admittedly beautiful. You couldn't imagine what it used to look like when it had a full team of gardeners. Great big hedges sparkling after being freshly watered in the morning, fountains running, the sound of splashing water adding to the chirping melody of the birds. That’s what you imagined at least. Right now, it was still a work in progress. You were responsible for taking care of the fountain. Which was more satisfying than you thought it would be. Scrubbing the dry algae off the emptied basins was rather therapeutic and took your mind off of the happenings. This was short-lived, however. As you straightened up and wiped a bead of sweat from your brow, you caught movement in one of the upper-story windows. Your window. You paused, setting down the hard-bristled brush for a moment. That couldn't be your brother… he wasn't… well- he wasn't that tall, to be honest. He was a teenager, and you towered a good five inches over your brother still. Whoever that was… 

“Is Dad fixing something in my room?” You turn your head for just a moment. Your mother looks up from the dirt she’d been packing in around some freshly planted flowers and gives you a confused glance. 

“No… why?” Her eyes drag up to your window. 

You turn your head again, about to point up at the figure in the window only to find you’ve been played a fool a second time. This felt similar to the dining room incident — in that it made you look crazy.

"I saw someone up there." You say, feeling uncomfortable. You turn your head again and see your mother's skeptical expression as she continues to look up at your window.

“I’m sure we would have noticed if someone we didn't know came into the house. It was probably just a shadow.” She turns back to the dirt and continues packing it around the flowers before moving on to the next. 

You're not as willing as your mother to give up the matter. Now, your job of scrubbing algae can't be over fast enough. When you finish, you don't even bother washing your hands. You take yourself up the stairs, a burn of annoyance giving you a burst of adrenaline that may or may not have been encouraged by it being broad daylight, and push your door open. It's empty. Exactly as you anticipated. But that doesn’t stop you from fixing the window with a glare, checking under your bed, and then fixing your hair before walking back to the door, where you turn, hold out the middle finger, and close the dor. Whatever… ghost… was messing with you... Well, it wasn't funny. Not that you believed in ghosts, of course.

Nonverbally saying “fuck you” to a ghost was clearly a bad idea. Maybe it was just a coincidence, but shortly afterward, the electricity was acting weird. Your brother had come down from his room for once to complain about how “this stupid house is busted”. His computer was apparently shutting off right when he was about to complete a level in his game. You even came up with your dad to watch it happen. Right when he was at the end of his level, the screen went black. Your dad checked the outlet, unplugged it, plugged it back in, and told your brother to give it another try. So with a sigh, your brother would reboot his computer and run the game. Same problem. It ended with your dad scratching his head and muttering about calling the electricity guys again. You, however, with your newfound skepticism, were positive that you’d pissed the house ghost off by giving it the finger. 

“It’s probably a ghost messing with you.” You’d told your bother.

“The ghost can go fuck off.” Was his grumbled response as he turned to his bookcase instead. 

You turned in after dinner, carrying a full glass of water up to your room to set on the bedside table, which had a gross crusty ring left over from the batteries. You’d tried to wipe it off the best you could but… the wood was ruined. The one thing you’d liked about candles or lamps was how easy it was to turn them off or blow them out and shove the covers up and over your head. A light switch? Not so much. Especially when the room felt like it… stretched… in the dark. You took a sip of your water before turning to shut off the light. Climbing into bed amidst the dark, you muttered to the ghost (which you half-believed in) to, “not be weird.”

That night, sleep seemed to escape you. Like standing too far away from the ocean on the shore. When you thought it might reach you… it dragged itself back. You had no memory of falling asleep… but when you woke… it was because a chorus of stringed instruments and deafening piano seemed to be searing into your ears as your world burst into color. Through your eyelids, you saw light and movement, shadows falling over your eyelids like sunspots through a tree. You open them with a gasp and find yourself standing in the middle of a ballroom. Confusion lapses you and you reach down to pinch your hand tightly to wake yourself up — which hurts. It's covered in a long, silk glove. None of the colors you wear seem to keep a constant. The shape of your dress — if you were wearing one, you're not sure —  and even the people around you never stay constant. They change form as they move with the waltz at a gallivanting pace around you. You try to follow them with your eyes — to make out what’s even happening around you — but the task feels impossible. Turning frantically, you catch an opening in the figures and run towards it, hoisting heavy skirts up (so it was a dress?). The space is quickly taken up by red. A deep, blood-red cloak, and a charcoal gray suit tucked beneath it. You’re too slow to stop yourself and crash into the figure. It was that fabric. Warm satin and the dull sound a human chest makes when it's beat against. You back up slower than you had the night you first encountered that feeling… and slowly look up at the only solid shape in this dream. Nothing about him changes or shifts. His colors do not even change in hue or tone. Red, charcoal, and black, black hair. You’re not quite sure if his hair is short or long. It seems to evade your memory somehow. But you know it's dark and unruly and frames his shadowed face in a wicked way as he grins down at you with a mouth full of teeth too sharp to be human. He feels far too real to be a part of your dream. Image stark and crisp compared to the fogginess of the others and even your own body. It feels like he towers over you. Proportions not quite right. You stagger back. Too slow. He surges unnaturally forward and takes up your hand with his gloved one, the other gripping your waist tightly. Too fast to gain footing, you're thrown into a waltz that you cannot keep up with. It's the same pace as the inconstant dancers around you. Spinning, spinning, you grip his shoulder with desperation as your hair whips against your face. As chaos unfolds, your feet clumsily stumble. Seeking solace, you bury your face into his chest, briefly capturing the aroma of copper and perfume. No warmth comes from him, despite how real he feels.

 The music picks up at an impossible pace. A pace no one could ever hope to properly waltz to… and you're spun even faster. Then, the music rises into a quick crescendo, and then the notes seem to… fall… as if they were falling off the very air. The song is ending too fast for your body to register… and all too soon, your dancer lets go of you. Your hand slips off his shoulder and the force of the awful, spinning waltz throws you cruelly to the floor in a flutter of skirts against the hard, hard surface beneath you. 

Your eyes shoot open and the silent dark of your room echoes around you. You’re on the floor, nowhere near your bed, and very, very sore. Laying there, belly-down on the cold wood, you let out a slow and shaky breath before pushing yourself onto your knees. You feel vulnerable in the middle of that huge room. It's too dark to see a thing. The moon is barely visible tonight. But the eerie silence is enough to encourage you to stumble back into bed with a confused and exhausted whimper. The music feels like it rings an echo of itself in your ears, and you still feel your dancer’s bruising grip on your hand and waist. The covers are cold. You’d been sweating in your sleep… and the dampness was not the least bit comforting. 

⛤

The day after that was dreary. It was as if your strange dream had put a fog over your entire world. Cloud cover. Autumn was approaching, so it was fitting. Your mother said that there would be a thunderstorm tonight. One look at the blackened sky and you believed her. Going for a walk, you’d taken to the road that led away from the manor. It was a much-needed break from the place. The surrounding countryside felt cold and wet despite it not having rained yet. The smell and the chill helped you clear your mind a bit. 

Despite everything — the bizarre dreams, feeling things in the dark, seeing things — you… didn't miss home. No. The manor had way too many things locked away in the dark waiting to be found for you to wish them away and out of your memory so soon. You almost felt like a kid again. Running about trying to solve imaginary mysteries. And that dream you’d had, more so, how you’d found yourself when you’d woken from it. You never used to sleepwalk like that. It was so strange. And your muscles were so sore as if you’d actually been dancing. Maybe the lack of restful sleep was getting to you.

You lost track of time out in the grass and had only just begun walking back to the house when you felt the chill of a drop of rain on your nose. By the time you were through the manor’s gate you were soaked. But the rain and the countryside had brought a strange clarity to your mind. Looking towards the manor in the distance… You swore you saw someone standing there waiting in front of the door, cloaked in red. The body in the dark, the figure in the window, the dancing man. Were they all the same person? A flash of lightning high in the sky and the rolling rumble that followed seemed to wick him away from reality. You never thought to believe in ghosts until now. Now, as you hurry up the steps and open the door, you're sure that there’s a ghost haunting this place. 

You’d taken a shower to get the smell of dampness off of you. By the time you were done, the light of the sun that filtered through the thick clouds had disappeared completely. Something about the rain beating on the roof comforted you as you walked through the dim hallway to your room. It seemed to fill what would usually be an uncomfortable silence. Taking up the empty spots in your mind and lining them with a lulling white noise. Flipping on the light in your room, you take note of the empty glass on your bedside table. A dull dread tickles at the back of your neck. You knew you’d be miserable all night if you woke up thirsty and with nothing to drink. This day would have come eventually, you tell yourself. At least the power works now. Still, you take a flashlight. 

The rain lulls to silence as you descend the stairs to the kitchen. That makes you uneasy. It was as if some protective blanket had been peeled off your back. Your steps on the marble echo as you make your way through the dining room, which is eerie in the light of your flashlight, and onto the tiled floor of the most harrowing room you know of in the manor. The kitchen looks even more worn with age than the rest of the house, even after you and your mother have spent the last week cleaning it up. Slowly, you make your way over to the sink, fitting your flashlight under your armpit while you fill up your glass. Over the sound of the sink, you hear a whisper. You shut the water off and pause, standing perfectly still while you strain your ears. Nothing. You turn the water on full to fill the glass up in a mere second. Some spills over the lip and into the sink, wetting your fingers. You don't care about that though. You turn and make your quick exit from the kitchen, only glancing back when you're in the doorway. That's where you pause, turning your flashlight onto the room one last time… just to be sure. The dull white light spills across the counter and the big fridge, reflecting off of hanging pots and pans and the old tile floor. When the light begins to buzz brighter, you already know what's going to happen. It begins to flicker… slowly at first and then fast like a strobe. You waste no time in turning tail and running up the stairs. There’d be no repeat of the dining room. You swear on it. Your feet thump on the carpet with each hurried step, water spilling from your glass as you reach the top with a gasp of breath and take a sharp turn for the hallway leading to your room. Halfway there… your stomach drops in horror when you hear footsteps running up the stairs after you. It's like someone was mimicking you. Same tempo, same speed. Fast footsteps. Your brain kicks into raw adrenaline, realizing you're being chased. You feel like a wolf chased by something that is not a wolf. Not used to being scared like this… but knowing deep in your gut to run and hide. You can't even think to scream. Your eyes begin to water and your breath comes out in ragged fear-strained rasps. Flinging your door open, you don't bother looking over your shoulder as you slam it closed behind you. The footsteps follow quickly — bare like your own — and come right up to the door where they stop abruptly. Your heart climbs into your throat as you stand there. A slab of wood keeps you and… it… separated. Holding your breath and bracing your forearm on the door… you wait in silence with eyes wider than they’d ever been in your life. Your flashlight had long since gone out and hangs dead in your hand, while your other one struggles not to shake while keeping the glass of water upright. It was still there. Still there. Still there. Waiting. The footsteps had stopped. It was waiting. Waiting there on the other side of the door just as silently as you. When your lungs burn, you realize that you still have yet to take a breath. Slowly, you let it draw out before taking another, quiet breath in and holding it. You couldn't miss a single sound. Not a single sound could escape your ears right now. Something was outside your door, you’d heard it loud and clear, chasing you. So… why were you doubting your own judgment? Perhaps... you were simply imagining things. Maybe it was just your imagination getting the best of you. This couldn't be real. It just couldn't. It couldn't be real it- 

“Hey.” 

You stiffen. You swore you just heard a whisper through the door. Right up against it. It couldn't be a trick of your ears. The sound was so crisp. The voice so unfamiliar: low, raspy, and amused. The thought that there was some… thing… on the other side, pressing its face right up against the crack in the door to whisper- you have to bite your lips to keep yourself from bursting into tears. This is a nightmare. A nightmare. An awful nightmare. 

But you can't sit here all night. So… gathering your strength, you set down your glass and flashlight on the floor. You pause, hand on the doorknob, thinking about what the hell you’d do if there was something there. Scream, you supposed. With that, you yank the door open. 

You're met with nothing. You look in both directions of the hall, left — nothing — and right, towards the staircase — nothing. Breathing a sigh of relief, you shut the door. 

That night… You slept with the lights on. 

Next

[shiningliive]

Live Emotion Tap Spaces

A too long post on the Live Emotion preview clip only having two touch icons:

I've seen mixed reponses. Some people are happy to see a more accesible layout that is less likely to cause hand and wrist damage from long/frequent play sessions, and some are dissapointed and fearful that it might be too slow or too basic.

I'd take an educated guess that what we're seeing in this clip is an 'easy' difficulty, with higher levels hopefully having at least a faster speed. When comparing this clip to the easy difficulty of Shining Romance on SL, both are nearly identical with 11-12 taps within 8-9 seconds.

It's hard to say how I feel about it so far without seeing more footage. Personally, I think at least 4 would be ideal but I can't say until more footage is revealed. It's certainly possible there are more tap spaces in higher difficulties, or the higher speed and potentially more gesture options would make up for it.

Here are some other rhythm games with similar amounts of touch spaces. I've tried to link higher diffulty levels to show the potential:

Love Live All Stars - Very similar layout to Live Emotion with two tap icons, however there are also some notes that have to be swiped in the direction indicated which I think could be implemented in higher difficulties in LE. Also has a mode with less distracting bg visuals (that is customisable with unlockable backgrounds) which I am also currently hoping to be a toggle in LE.

Aikatsu - This I believe is a two player mode that is being played solo, but it does show another example of a 2 touch icon UI. I think it's also played with a controller, but its easy to imagine the arrows as directional sliding gestures as well. Aikatsu has a slightly younger demographic, so it makes sense if the beatmaps skew a bit simpler.

Idolish 7 and I-Chu - Both with four tap icons.

Then of course you have games like Bpro and SIF that have a similar high amount of tap icons to Shining Live. There are also some with similar functionality but different look, like Show By Rock, D4DJ, Project Sekai, and Hypmic.

And for more varied rhythm gameplay styles, but to highlight the potential of different gesture types, you have:

King of Prism - Tapping and making certain swipe gestures as they skate through hoops. This and some others linked also have segments where you trace shapes on the screen at certain parts of a song, or whena gauge fills up.

Te to Te Connect - Arcade game with beatmaps that encourage copying the movements on screen. These sort of swiping and tracing shape movements are especially interesting to me but I dont know if we'd see something like that in LE.

Muse Dash - A different style of rhythm game to what we've seen so far from LE, but there may be something in there to inspire you.

Fit Boxing - Again very different and doesnt really translate to touch screen, but while holding a joycon the player does different types of punches and movements corresponding to the icons.

Osu - A classic, with its icons taking up the screen in various patterns rather than staying in set positions, this is also something I dont expect to see in LE, but is a fun gameplay style. Osu also has a large spinning wheel that shows up occasionally for a short period of time, and has to be spun in circles very quickly.

All that to say, who knows what we're in for. I would prefer a few more touch icons, but even if harder difficulties still only have 2 I think its possible to get a fun and difficult game out of it if theyre fast enough, and have various tap gestures to keep it intersting and engaging (tap, hold, spin, multi-tap, swipe up/down/left/right etc).

Lets wait and see what the next game reveals showcase.

[hometoursandotherstuff]

This Brooklyn, New York City firehouse was turned into a duplex with 2 very colorful residences. In 1895 it was a water tower, converted to a firehouse in 1903, and in 1974 it was the live/work for film maker Spike Lee. In the mid-1980s, the building was converted into two duplex loft apartments–and a multi-car garage. It’s currently for sale for $4.35M.

I like that copper ceiling. 

See how colorful it is, plus I love the pink. Though legally a two-family dwelling, the entire four-level townhouse–including two mezzanines–is currently being used as a 5,775-square-foot home.

On its main floor, the lower duplex offers an open great room and a colorful and fabulous open kitchen anchored by a solid wood island.

A convenient sleeping area is a perfect guest space.

In the upper duplex, the building’s third floor is suspended between two mezzanines in a loft-like layout.

This airy central space has a kitchen, a dining area, and a living room.

From the dining area, step through a glass block wall and custom sliding door onto the fabulous upper deck.

On the ground floor are two large bedrooms, a living room, and a full bath.

Through an impressive pair of wrought iron gates, a multi-car garage is a rare perk in the city.

https://www.6sqft.com/from-firehouse-to-spike-lees-movie-hq-this-4-35m-fort-greene-home-has-a-century-of-stories-to-tell/

[wishcamper]

All in the Family: ACOTAR PART II

Welcome back to our multi-part lesson on ACOTAR and Family Systems! Today’s topic is family roles, the interplay between them, and their combination’s influence on the nuclear family emotional process in the Inner Circle.

Pre-requisites: Part I

Creds: license and mf master's degree in counseling babyyy. and unhinged enough to write it all down.

No content warnings, just garden variety family dysfunction.

oh my god what the fuck does that mean

Let's back up and start with the structure of the IC pre-Archeron invasion. We have Rhysand, Cassian, Azriel, Morrigan, and Amren in a found family. This is where we have to suspend our disbelief a bit, because you’ll notice there are no parents in this family. However that doesn’t mean no one functions as a parent, because in any system there is a hierarchy, at least in an emotional sense, and the power vacuum will always get filled.

When a parent is missing from a nuclear family, very often one of the children will step in to fill the role and rebalance the system. Older siblings caring for younger ones, female children picking up housework, even phrases like calling someone the “man of the house” confer symbolic authority and responsibility to someone theoretically on the same level as the others. The dark end of this road is emotional incest, when parents rely on a child emotionally in the same way they would a spouse, a dynamic that is deeply inappropriate and incredibly damaging for a child.

Okay, so let’s talk about sibling position to see who is most likely to step up. This is a found family, so obviously none of these are based in biology, but if we look at the core four, they have a pretty clear birth order layout in terms of both power and personality. 

Rhys: A textbook oldest child - responsibility-seeking, serious, tending toward leadership roles. Oldest children often feel the burden of setting a good example for others. Prone to relieving anxiety via control.

Az and Cas: Classic ends of the middle child spectrum (invisible to hyper-visible). Middle children are flexible, adaptable, and competitive, and often struggle with questions identity. They may seek to meet needs for connection and validation in unhealthy ways.

Mor: Baby of the family energy through and through. Youngest children are more likely to be outgoing, creative, and rebellious, and struggle with inferiority and self-centeredness. Interestingly, they’re also more likely to abuse alcohol and are overrepresented in psychiatric populations.

Amren, hilariously, comes across as an only child - they tend to be wise, independent, and private, struggling with social skills and receiving criticism. (1)

So who’s filling our parental roles here in the IC? Who has power over the others? Rhysand is an obvious choice - he regularly makes decisions for the group as well as individual members on the basis of his feelings and his political position. I think you could even argue Rhys sees the people of Velaris as his children, too, though he definitely plays favorites lol. Amren also emerges as a person with power, given everyone is afraid of her and she has influence over Rhys. Amren has some authority over the others, though she is less invested in their personal lives and so functions differently in the system than Daddy Rhys.

So Rhys is one parent, and Amren is like a weird aunt. It’s very normal in systems with a parentified child (PC) that the other children feel resentful - they’re all supposed to be on the same level, and yet one of them has been exalted above the rest. The PC can respond to this so many ways - force, charm, control, bribes, threats, ignoring them - it’ll depend on the person and the individual system. But the PC will also feel that counter-resentment and leverage the power position to create balance in the family (Cassian, Azriel, stop trying to kiss your sisters). The irony is that, in this system, no one asked Rhys to be in power over his friends - he decided he wanted them in his court and blurred those lines himself. I suspect this was intentional, though likely unconscious, because it gives him a nuclear option if he ever needs to reestablish order and control in his family. We see him pull rank in tense personal moments that have literally nothing to do with politics despite his excuse they do.

(I do think, though, that there’s an argument to be made here that, for people in certain positions of prominence and influence, all your choices are political. Your image is part of your power and so, by extension, the parts of your personal life that become public have an effect on your ability to rule. Rhys and Feyre use this rationale with Nesta in ACOSF, though my babe isn’t exactly a Hunter Biden. More of a Claudia Conway, I’d say.)

Let's go back to our scary image from the beginning.

Bowen believed in the importance of visualizing this structure, so he advocates for family mapping or construction of a genogram (2). Given what we’ve unpacked so far, we can roughly plot the individual connections and hierachy. I’ve created this one to show the basics of the relationships and power structure in the IC, and we’ll get more specific from here.

Solid lines=connectedness

Dashed lines=conflict

Arrow=direction of energy

Squiggles=ambivalence/fluctuation

Line thickness=emotional closeness

Amren’s special line to Rhys=whatever ulterior motive she has

If you remember from my last post, one of the most important forces in a family is the triangle. Take another look at the triangles above, and see which ones seem unstable to you. The one that immediately stands out to me, even just visually, is the Cas/Az/Mor triangle. Each individual relationship has a different tenor, which creates a lot of instability. You can see how Mor needs that closeness with Cas to balance the tension with Az, but in order to keep their relationship stable, Cas and Az have Rhys as a moderating presence. Because what is the one thing they all have in common? A close relationship with Rhys. And Rhys has Amren to reinforce his power and responsibility, keeping the whole system in balance.

In this way, the IC’s system, while dysfunctional, is relatively stable pre-Archerons.

To understand how that’s possible, we have to talk about anxiety. Anxiety is the main energy that moves conflict through the family and sets off the nuclear family emotional process (NFEP). Anxiety must go somewhere. In enmeshed systems like this one (members’ emotions and security are highly dependent on one another), members relieve their anxiety through the system instead of resolving it individually or in dyads. In cut off, emotionally distant systems, anxiety gets internalized or displaced outside the family.

Given the sheer variety of relationships in the system, the most likely source of anxiety is Morrigan. She has a different relationship to every person in the system. She’s in the middle of the power hierarchy between the “parents” and the “kids”, and floats around inside the relatively stable triangle of the bat boys, with individual connections to each one . She also has a pattern of internal conflict that she moderates externally via alcohol and relationships. Despite not having the most power externally, Mor’s actions and reactions often cause the rest of the system to shuffle around her, giving her a great deal of power.

But don’t just take my word for it - let’s look at this in action.

Say Mor, Cas, and Az go out together bc apparently that is something they do regularly. Mor feels Azriel getting too close, which triggers her anxiety because she does not want to talk about whatever is between them. In response, she communicates her displeasure by leveraging the triangle and focusing her intimate attention on Cassian. But this creates conflict for Cassian, who wants to moderate Mor’s anxiety without rupturing his relationship with Azriel. Hence, we get the weird overfamiliar platonic besties routine, threading the needling of giving Mor the protection she’s asking for without out-and-out antagonizing his brother. Azriel buries his hurt feelings and retracts emotionally, despite wanting to be connected, and they go back to how they were.

So we can see how Mor has generated the anxiety, and it follows down the chain: she passes it off to the boys, who deal with it through emotional cutoff (Az) and enmeshment (Cas). Cassian steps in between the conflict at Mor’s unconscious request and takes inappropriate responsibility for Azriel’s feelings of rejection and Mor’s anxiety, while Az puts his feelings away and reestablishes emotional distance. This is the NFEP in action.

And yet Cassian and Azriel are still shown to be close, so where do these feelings go? I mean, they do physically fight each other all the time lol. Azriel banks a lot of repressed resentment he has to discharge elsewhere. Cassian feels the burden of peacemaking and internalizes the unresolved conflict as his own fault, doubling down on his commitment to making it better. Mor avoids contending with her own feelings because everyone else is doing it for her.

And here’s where Rhys becomes a moderating presence for all of them. Rhys has ultimate decision-making power over who is in and who’s out of the family, and sets the rules of engagement. He decides who gets respect, who’s allowed to initiate conflict. Rhys hold’s the power in the bat boys triangle, the strongest alliance in the system, incentivizing Cas and Az to get along with each other. He also incentivizes Mor/Cas/Az to keep their shit together because Amren has influence over him, and they need their alliance to leverage power against her. Rhys doesn’t have a problem with the buffer, so they rest of them “don’t” either.

The best question to ask when it comes to dysfunction is this: who benefits? We can see this in larger systems, too: who benefits for housing disparity, patriarchy, systemic racism, ableism, homophobia and transphobia? People in power. If a system is balanced via dysfunction, it’s because whoever is in power wants it that way. With families, this is often more unconscious - perhaps Rhys is just as afraid of family disintegration as Mor, and believes addressing their issues will cause them to split. Perhaps there is a more generational pattern at play. I think it’s worth considering not just how this family functions, but what conscious and unconscious choices are being made given their individual families of origin.

And then the Archeron’s come, and all these cracks will be exposed and the system will get blown to shit. See you next time, class dismissed!

Sources: 

Eckstein, D., & Kaufman, J. A. (2012). The role of birth order in personality: An enduring intellectual legacy of Alfred Adler. The Journal of Individual Psychology, 68(1), 60–61.

Brown, J. (1999). Bowen family systems theory and practice: Illustration and critique. Australian and New Zealand Journal of Family Therapy, 20(2), 94-103.

Genogram made with Canva, art by @artworks_by_rokii, rosalynnart on deviant art, @sallteas