#mushroom john was so real

[moltage]

[princessbrunette]

begging john b for a kiss during sex as if he isnt literally balls deep in you because you can never have enough

˗ˏˋ🐶 ೀ🩹꒱ ˎˊ˗

he moans so pretty, so you’re reluctant to cover his mouth with anything really.

he’s got your knees up by your chest — his favourite position. says it gets him the deepest, makes you cum the hardest, and for that you can’t argue. the stretch is always almost unbearable at first, his thick mushroom tip tickling places that go unexplored by your own fingers— even surpassing the distance his reach. you’re mewling, spoiled and whiny under the warm press of his tanned body as he fucks you — heart throbbing with that clingy, loved up feeling that made you wanna cry.

“please!” it’s punched out of you, a high pitched and petulant squeal which makes his eyes flutter and lip twitch like he wants to smirk but is holding it back. he’s panting as he tilts his head, brown curls falling over his forehead.

“what you asking for, baby?” he coaxes, and you might not be able to answer if it wasn’t for that soft warm timbre to his voice that encourages communication out of you— forever searching for ways to make daddy proud.

“kiss… please, kiss.” you’re nonsensical, but how are you expected to make sense when he’s this deep? like mentioned before, your hazy brain is torn — because yes, you want a kiss — but john b moans so pretty, do you want to risk taking that away?

“kiss… you spoil me sweetheart.” he repeats before commenting on your demands with a toothy grin, leaning in to deliver what you want. he gives it to you the way he knows will satisfy you too — a big wet one, puckered lips pressing hard against yours forcing your head back into the mattress. a real kiss for his baby.

you whimper, chasing his mouth when he pulls back — and like he just can’t get enough, he follows through with more, kissing you until your lips are sore and you’re cumming around his base. if john b were to do anything, it was spoil you.

˗ˏˋ🐶 ೀ🩹꒱ ˎˊ˗

[existentialgaybirdnerd]

Fic idea:

Child Simon Riley who went to Scotland during the summers because his dad wanted him, his mom, and Tommy out of the house when it wasn't school time where they might be home at all times. He meets little John MacTavish and they have a great time messing around in a forested area and finding Faerie circles to leave sugar packets near.

Simon keeps the habit of having small single packets of sugar on him at all times, doesn't remember his childhood friend's name because he stopped going to Scotland during the summers when he was 13 and his dad's attitude started getting worse.

Little Johnny MacTavish doesn't remember his summer friend's name either, but he was 9 when he stopped visiting and he largely got out of the habit of sneaking sugar packets out to the forests when he didn't show up the next summer.

Simon believes in the fae, even at 33, he's polite in forest areas, avoids faerie circles like the plague, and never picks up any unexplained things that show up near his room, be it on the windowsill or outside his door.

Johnny, not so much.

One day, during a team mission, the 141 venture through a forest to get to a location. Their gps cuts out and their radios don't reach Laswell for some reason, so they're going in the general direction they think the place they're supposed to be going to is.

3 hours into being lost and seemingly going in circles, Ghost finally gets sick of it and finds a faerie circle, taking out some sugar packets and sticking his hand out right beside the mushrooms outlining it to everyone else's confusion.

He just sits there with his hand out and not saying anything as the others question him and then give up and sit near him to rest and talk out the plan when he doesn't respond to them other than "wait a minute."

So they sit for about 5 minutes eating and drinking some water to get their energy up until Ghost makes a small noise and they look over to see a small faerie in his hand opening a sugar packet.

Johnny chokes on the protein bar he was eating and scares the thing, prompting Ghost to put his other hand as a barrier between the faerie and the others to help it calm down. A couple of other faeries cautiously emerge from the middle of the circle and come to claim a sugar packet for themselves as Ghost starts whispering to the first one.

As the other faeries take the sugar out of his hand, the first one floats up to his face and starts speaking lowly to him with a sugar packet in hand. Once he nods and thanks the faerie and lets it take the rest of the sugar with a rushed "share please" he gets up and wipes his pants off and points in a direction saying they need to go that way.

Price and Gaz are dumbfounded, Soap is utterly lost and they all surround him asking what the hell was that how the fuck are faeries real and Ghost just looks deadpans at Soap and tells him he's from where faeries practically originated how tf doesn't he believe in them.

Eventually they get the job done and when they get back Ghost and Soap talk about it and figure out they're the "summer friend" and the rest of the three of the 141 start carrying around sugar packets too and looking for signs of the fae wherever they are.

[soldat-buck]

holy shit you guys, look, there's more.

bg3 culinary headcanons: Absolute Edition

- Minthara: would accidentally fit in as the Addams Family home chef (and be angry about it). Gomez would praise her assassination attempts which flusters her (internally) because she's cooking with the normal amount of poisonous mushroom and not an attempted murder amount (and also she would hate loud, in-your-face-chaotic Gomez SO MUCH. if she wanted him dead, he would be dead, do not insult her assassinating abilities). makes the coolest Halloween party food until you realize it's not fun, spooky-mimicry decoration, those are real black widows on those cupcakes (what? they're venom and merlot flavored) (she used cricket flour, too). you don't know where she gets the "red" for her red velvet cakes, but you *do* know that ignorance is bliss and this is a pretty bitchin' birthday cake, so don't think too hard and just eat it

- Dark Urge (pre-game/embrace): slaughterhouse nightmare aesthetic - chef's apron is leather and something more appropriate for blacksmithing, there are way too many cleavers around (why in the blue fuck is there a meat hook over a drain in the floor?). some people watch tv when they cook. some listen to music, podcasts, or nothing. Durge listens to the Toy Box killer kidnapping tape (not to be mixed up with the (not safe for LIFE) Tool Box killers torture tape. that one is for relaxing baths). watches Dahmer documentaries for culinary inspiration. Hannibal Lecter would find most Durge dishes tasteless and over the top.

- Ketheric: listen, he didn't want me to tell you this [so you did NOT hear it from me], but he actually doesn't eat. he has a symbiotic relationship with the bacteria and fungus that keep his body animated and undying (they're why his blood is black). he consumes rotten things to keep his corpse puppet fungus happy and the corpse puppet fungus allows him to keep his consciousness/sentience and keep serving Myrkul. Myrkul's cool with it, as long as his bidding continues to get done

- Orin: Martha Stewart would have a nervous breakdown upon entering Orin's kitchen. the average person would consider Orin's cooking to be a hate crime. if someone doesn't vomit uncontrollably upon first sight, she considers it an insult (she grew up with a gross misunderstanding of what a Roman vomitorium is). her spaghetti and meatballs is wrapping a handful of uncooked noodles in unseasoned ground meat (she neither knows nor cares whether it's fish or chicken or cow. meat is meat), then baking it in a casserole dish sprinkled with still-condensed tomato soup from a can. Midwestern casserole cooking brought to you by Hell. doesn't use salt because she finds it too spicy. she has an entire pantry section for savory jello

- Gortash: culinary techbro. kitchen is spilling over with unitasker gadgets ("and THIS contraption evenly distributes heat for the perfect boiled egg! what do you mean 'what else does it do'. it boils eggs perfectly i already told you, why the fuck weren't you listening"), and the most stupid, overengineered 'smart' devices ("no no no, you don't understand, this is so helpful. the fork connects to the plate to measure the temperature of the food, and then the plate changes color to warn me if it's too hot, and then i don't burn my tongue, because i really hate that"). despite all of the pricey kitchen shit that he keeps buying, he's skilled at making exactly one dish: microwaved Totino's pizza rolls

(i'm sorry if Gortash is out of character; my brain replaced his voice with John Oliver's and won't put the original back)

if you want more bg3 culinary headcanons, there's also: the Companion Edition

[kittyball23]

Diaper Duty (a Trolls fanfic)

Summary: It’s obvious by the stinky smell coming from Baby Branch’s diaper that ONE of his brothers has to do the dirty work. Question is, who?

A/N: Taking place before TBT

__________________________________________

John Dory sighed, his head slumped against the windowsill of their pod and a pout on his lips. Outside, a harsh storm had just started to pour down, the sky clapping with thunder and raindrops beating harshly against the land. It was so not the way that he’d pictured this evening. It was supposed to be another great one up on the mushroom stage, belting out a song alongside his brothers, eating up the claps and cheers from the audience and soaking in the praise – not getting soaked in raindrops.

Behind him, he could hear the sounds of soaked feet squishing against the soft carpet and the sounds of water droplets patting against the floor as hair was wringed out. He, Spruce, Clay, and Floyd had made an effort to try and get out as quickly as they could before their concert got rained out, but it just hadn’t been fast enough. Heck, even Baby Branch, who was too young to perform and had only been there to watch, was soaked from head to toe. And all four of them were also less than pleased with the turnout of that evening.

John Dory groaned, finally prying himself away from the window and turning towards his brothers. “This stinks!” he exclaimed, kicking at the air angrily. There were only so many rehearsals they could do before they got bored and craved the real deal of an actual performance.

The other boys nodded, solemnly agreeing.

Floyd sighed. “Yeah…” But then, he scrunched his nose, a look of disgust crossing his face. “Ugh… but that’s not the only thing that stinks…”

It was then that Clay and Spruce, too, donned their magenta sibling’s same expression.

“Aww, ewww!” the yellow-haired Trolling moaned, pinching his nose to keep the putrid odor from infiltrating his nostrils. “Spruce, did you let one rip? Not cool, man!”

“Don’t blame this on me,” the purple-haired Trolling said, defending himself from the accusation, “it was you who probably did!”

“No way, dude,” Clay retorted. “I might be all for jokes n’ stuff, but I wouldn’t do something like that. That’s just wrong!”

John Dory, who’d made his way over as Clay and Spruce bickered, suddenly realized where the smell was coming from. “Bros, I think it’s Branch!”

The boys paused. “Branch?” they echoed.

JD picked the little baby up off the ground, who babbled at his brother with his one-toothed grin. It was when he was up close to his youngest brother that JD saw the lump that hung in his diaper, and noticed the awful scent that wafted into his nose was much stronger now.

“Ugh! Okay, I don’t think it’s Branch. I know it’s Branch.” He held the baby at an arms length away. “Okay, guys, whose turn is it to…”

But John Dory trailed off when he turned to look at the others. Within the split moment in which he’d affirmed the case of Branch’s dirty diaper and began to ask the question, Spruce, Clay, and Floyd had already picked up and dashed off from right under his nose, the only evidence of them ever having been there in the first place being a strand from each of their colorful hairs in the spots where they’d been sitting.

“Seriously, guys?!” John Dory complained. “Just cuz I’m the oldest doesn’t mean I gotta do all the dirty work!”

But, left without a choice, JD just sucked it up, using one of Grandma Rosiepuff’s clothespins to pinch his nose and grabbing a fresh diaper from the package they had.

“Remind me to add potty-training to your schedule, bro, a’ight?” he said rather nasally to Branch as he laid him down on the changing table and began to undo the diaper, cringing distastefully with every move.

Baby Branch just giggled in response.

[the---hermit]

Walking through the woods to go at my gradma's this morning made me feel a bit like litte red green riding hood, and I have not yet decided if it's a positive or negative thing.

27|09|2023

Today I changed my routine a little bit, after having breakfast and reading as usual I took a walk to get to my grandma's place to study there. I knew there would be workers at my place for the whole day, and I needed a quiet place to focus. I ended up studying on the kitchen counter instead of the table because it's a bit taller so I knew it would be better for my back. Overall it was super quiet and I felt very productive eve though the wifi wasn't at its best. I ended up taking the afternoon off, since I worked so well in the morning and also because tomorrow will be a energy draining day. Taking a walk that early felt actually really good, the air was crisp™ and overall it felt like a really good autumn day. My afternoon was filled by tea, books and crocheting, so I couldn't wish for a better way to recharge .

Cozy hobbit autumn activities and productivity:

Read first thing in the morning

Took a walk early in the morning (I really have to work back into my routine short daily walks)

Worked on a very long but very interesting recorded lecture of my power practices class (it was about a trial of faked supernatural powers and abuse in a monastery in the early 1800s, it was one of the most out of mind things I have ever learned about, it felt more like a novel than an actual real life historical happening)

Daily Irish practice on duolingo (also when will duolingo stop making updates and moving my around levels every fucking time I open that app I get more confused and I kust want to learn uuugh)

Worked on my crochet project (I am still working on the first sleeve of the cardigan and I have to make so many mushrooms too, this project is exciting but it will take so much time to be done)

Podcasts, books and audiobooks

📖: The Book Of Lost Things by John Connolly (I love this book so much, the vibes are perfect and it's putting me in the best autumn mood ever) The Burning God by R.F. Kuang (I think I only have five or six chapters to go? Plus the final short stories from Nezha pov, which I just found out about while looking how much on the book I still have to read)

[thewertsearch]

I'm getting 'em all this time, dang it!

I love that John plays along with the Consorts' programmed ignorance of him. He's such a good sport.

These guys really love their Important RPG Terms. It's sort of like a species-wide typing quirk.

SALAMANDER: Our great elder, the magnificent Secret Wizard was one day graced with the First Rag of Souls from the clouds. SALAMANDER: He donned the oily, humble cloth and assumed the countenance of a simple beggar. SALAMANDER: But lo, he beheld a great pillar of rock, and on that pillar he beheld an impossibly tall white tower belonging to the fabled Heir of Breath. SALAMANDER: And so our leader ascended this pillar and this tower, but found no sign of the heir. SALAMANDER: He did however find the Heir's floating blue servant, and she laundered his robes, and so the Rag of Souls was born anew. SALAMANDER: Such was his magnanimity, he employed the Heavenly Machina to duplicate this relic and distribute robes to his many followers across the land, so that they too might be beheld with a beholden eye of admiration.

What I'm getting is that Nanna started a salamander cult for the bit.

Talented though he is, John will have a hard time living up to such a prankster's legacy.

Ooh, we're back in the old style - it's like a game-within-a-game!

This thing does an uncomfortable amount of damage, even with John's maxed Gel Viscosity.

Still, at least it doesn't one-shot him like I expected. These Imps aren't quite as scary as I originally thought.

I can even time-freeze it with Fear No Anvil! There's a shocking amount of polish here for a one-panel walkaround.

It's tough, but John's fully capable of taking it down.

Hopefully once he's scaled the god tiers, Imps will go back to being fodder - although we don't know for sure if the god tiers increase your stats. I assume they're distinct from the Echeladder levels in some way, but I can't really speculate.

SALAMANDER: I'm so hungry. Alas, I have not a single boondollar to pop my bubble with. JOHN: i've got loads of boondollars! here, i will treat you to a nice lunch.

Such a good dude.

Is that some LOHAC contraband I spy?

The Consorts must have opened an interplanetary trade route.

SALAMANDER: Do you hear that? He is still asleep, thank goodness. SALAMANDER: But when the Windy Thing was kicking up all that fuss, it sounded like he was not happy at all. SALAMANDER: It makes him absolutely furious when anyone other than him bends The Breeze to his will! It is not pleasant for anybody. SALAMANDER: Luckily there is only one person who can do that, and he is surely a mythical figure, who only morons believe in.

Now this is interesting. Typheus claims authority over the Breath element, and can't abide anyone else wielding it...

SALAMANDER: Luckily there is only one person who can do that, and he is surely a mythical figure, who only morons believe in.

...which means he's basically calling John out by name.

The Heir is the only person in the Medium even capable of drawing his ire - and thus, the seeds of their inevitable battle have been sown.

SALAMANDER: It's said the Heir will wake the denizen by playing a magical song only he can play, and when he wakes up, the Heir will meet the terrible beast face to face! SALAMANDER: It is then that he will be offered The Choice. The nature of the Heir's triumph depends on what he chooses!

How much choice do you really have, when your future's set in stone? Choose anything that hasn't been pre-approved, and you're sent careening into an offshoot timeline, before being dissolved into nonexistence.

Maybe this proper-noun Choice is a real choice, then - a decision that can violate fate, but won't doom the timeline. The implications could be staggering.

SALAMANDER: Then the Heir will lead us all to a beautiful place, with the most bristling insect furrows and the richest, dampest mushroom soil you could hope to farm.

Either way, John's Choice seems to involve transporting the Consorts somewhere. This salamander is describing a heaven-like location, so I hope the twist isn't that John will destroy LOWAS, 'transporting' its residents to the afterlife :/

[hannahhook7744]

Mother Knows Best (For Real This Time!);

Summary: What if Mother Gothel was a decent mother?

Trigger warnings: violence, swearing, insecurities, and unsanitary eating habits.

Let me know if I should add to it.

Part of My 'Even Villains Love Their Kids' Series.

Previous Parts: Frollo, Cruella, Gaston, and Gideon & Honest John.

------------------------------------------------------------

"Ginny! Don't eat random mushrooms you find growing off the wall! You'll get sick!" Gothel scolded, hand on her hip.

Feeling exasperated as her four year old daughter spun around and hid one of the wall mushrooms behind her back. Staring at her with startled, big gray eyes (eyes that were so much like her Cassandra’s—). 

"H-hi mama!"

Gothel raised an eyebrow and stuck her hand out, waiting.

Ginny huffed but handed it over. 

Gothel patted her on the head "Good girl. Now go play. Dinner will be ready in an hour.”

------------------------------------------------------------

Mason threw his rattle at Glenn’s head, causing the other baby to start crying. 

Gothel sighed, going over to make sure no serious was done—which, thankfully, seemed to be the case. His forehead would probably be bruised for a while, but as long as he didn't start acting strange then he'd likely heal quickly. 

The witch kissed the baby's forehead and once he was soothed, she turned to his twin. Giving him her best ‘I’m very unimpressed with you’ look, as she rested a hand on her aging hip. “Now why did you do that?”

Mason, of course, couldn't answer with anything more than a babble since neither boy had started talking yet. 

“What am I gonna do with you two?”

The blonde (who was so much like her flower) blew a raspberry at her in response.

Gothel groaned. “Hopefully that attitude of yours will dissipate as you get older.”

(It did not. But she loved both her boys anyway).

------------------------------------------------------------

Magnolia Marguerite or ‘Gigi’ as Ginny and the twins liked to call her (though where she’d gotten that nickname from in her sister’s name, Gothel didn’t know) was the quietest and smallest baby out of her siblings. Including Cassandra and Rapunzel.

If asked, Gothel would have insisted that her daughter was no bigger than the size of a kitten and that she was quieter than a mouse—rarely ever making a peep about anything. It wouldn’t even have been that much of an exaggeration considering how close to the truth it was. 

Gigi, as it turned out, was also an extremely easy to please baby. Almost always being calmed by her mere presence alone (which was not creepy at all, despite what the other parents said—who were probably just jealous that their babies weren’t as well behaved and easy to please as her daughter was) and when that didn’t calm her, rubbing her head (that was starting to sprout black strands of hair) usually did. 

It was lovely.

------------------------------------------------------------

"Ginny!" 

Ginny jumped away from her mother's skincare products, looking at her guiltily. 

"Yes mama…?"

"What are you doing in here? You know you're not allowed in my room without me in here." Gothel scolded, removing her apron and hanging it on a hook on the wall. 

"Well, uh… I was looking for you cause I wanted to show you something and then I saw your products and… I just wanted to try some on so I could be like you." 

Gothel sighed, shaking her head. "Ginny, darling. You're eight. You don't need my products. Your skin is just fine and you're beautiful just the way you are, no matter what anyone else says. You hear me?"

Ginny perked up "yes mama."

"Good. Now go get whatever it is that you wanted to show me."

------------------------------------------------------------

The twins' hair darkened from blonde to light brown when they were four—which they both eagerly pointed out to her, seeing it as a sign of the magic they had never gotten to experience first hand. 

It was adorable (even if it did make her heart ache for the heritage her children were being robbed of because of her actions).

------------------------------------------------------------

Gigi, even at only three years old, loved appearing on her mother’s show—Skin Deep with Mother Gothel. 

She adored handing her mother her makeup and skincare products, and listing off the various facts she knew about them to both Gothel and the audience’s amusement. 

Gigi also loved it when Gothel taught her how to do different hairstyles on the dolls she’d made for her and  always told her mother that she wanted to be just like her when she grew up.

(Mother Gothel couldn’t help but secretly hope that all four of the children she’d had on the isle would turn out more like their older sisters who the witch knew now she had never deserved in the first place).

------------------------------------------------------------

"Are you SURE he's the one you want? You could have anyone you want" Gothel asked exasperated, eyeing her daughter's boyfriend—Clay Clayton—as he roughhoused with another boy nearby. 

She scrunched up her nose in distaste as the boy's nose broke—causing him to laugh instead of cry in pain as she expected.

She probably should have intervened but Gothel excused not doing so by rationalizing that he wasn't one of her kids and thus wasn't her problem. 

"Absolutely" her 18 year old replied without hesitation. 

Gothel sighed "Alright, alright. Go… invite your.. boyfriend to dinner."

Ginny beamed and gave her a quick hug "thank you mother!"

Honestly, the things she did for the love of her children were ridiculous. 

Oh well, it's not like she had anything better to do while stuck here on the isle. 

------------------------------------------------------------

“Pirates? Really Darling?” 

Gothel was really starting to wonder if this was some kind of twisted karma for all she’d done that got her sent to the isle. 

Because really, Ginny joining her half sister, Harriet Hook’s crew, hadn’t been enough for the universe? It really had to go and make not just one, but both of her twin sons— her fourteen year old twin sons, at that —attached enough to Ursula’s daughter for some unfathomable reason  that they decided joining a pirate crew would be fun?

“Yep.” Mason replied immediately, popping the ‘p’. Greenish-blue eyes twinkling with unfiltered amusement; not even bothering to finge shame or embarrassment as he stroked what was starting to become a beard. 

Glenn, on the other hand, just pouted at her (still baby faced and beardless, unlike his brother). Attempting the puppy dog eyes he’d likely seen one of his friends give another but looking constipated instead.

The graying witch sighed. “Very well. Just don’t do anything stupid.”

(A year and a kidnapped Auradonian King later, she would very much regret her decision not to fight her boys on the matter).

------------------------------------------------------------

“And why are you doing hair at Curl up & Dye again?” Gothel asked, leaning back in her favorite armchair. Massaging her temples as she debated the pros and cons of going to one of the many bars on the isle and drinking until she was unable to comprehend just what she had heard.

“Because Amara's friend, Cailee, doesn’t have the time to go on a date?” Her precious, preciously sweet and naive fourteen year old daughter replied hesitantly. Pushing her slipping glasses back up the bridge of  her nose.

If that Beckett girl was manipulating her  baby, Gothel was going to kill her consequences be damned—

(Thankfully, that didn’t turn out to be necessary). 

[videogames-i-wish-were-real]

Videogames I wish were real #86

An open world survival game set in a desolate world where the only food and resources left grow on colossal kaiju beasts (imagine Godzilla with a forest on its back. Also, I know what you must be thinking: wait, if it's a desolate world what do kaijus eat? Well, they get their energy from the sun and sometimes if they get a craving they eat other kaijus). After a kaiju dies, the resources they were sustaining quickly degrade, so the best bet is to harvest resources from live kaijus. The best way to do this is to climb the kaijus, since their skin is thick enough not to notice a thing. No two climbs will ever present the same challenges, since there are many types of kaijus, and you never know what might happen: it could start raining, or some of the creatures living on the kaiju might see you as easy prey and attack you, or the kaiju could decide to run, sit, sleep, or even fight or fuck another kaiju. Once you manage to climb on top of the kaiju, you'll need to gather resources: wood, fruit, plants, flowers, mushrooms... instead of forests, some kaijus might have rocky formations full of metals and minerals on their backs, or other types of biomes. The only animals that are still alive on this world also live on the kaijus, so if you feel like hunting, you can also take out your bow and arrow or your handheld weapon and get some fresh meat or hides. Once you're done gathering resources, you can take out your glider and fly off to safety... although, in a world populated by kaijus that love to fight each other, safety is always relative.

Similar media that actually exists: The Wandering Village (a game suggested by @thebazilly), The Kaiju Preservation Society by John Scalzi (the book that partially inspired this post)

[justabackroundcharacter]

Thoughts while watching Wish:

- base princess personality trope

- Never getting over the face that the goat is named Valentino

- 7 dwarfs vibes with the friends

- Hans type character

- Weird ass love song to wishes

- Evil Chris Pratt went from 1-100 really fast

- The wife was 1000000% the kings wish and he used magic to get it

- Angry guy is played by GIZMO MY BELOVED

- 100 year old man move like a 60 year old fr

- Asha also goes from 50-100 real fast

- My favorite song was a little disappointing:(

- What she’s singing and what the animation gives dosent match

- Wifey is CLUELESS

- We could’ve had A STAR BOY INSTEAD WE GET THIS THING

- Star is still cute

- When you are a Star and accidentally make a devils trap in the tree lol

- IM A STAR ⭐️

- thanks for not eating me John

- Throwing books like your cramming for a test

- King is bipolar like actually tho

- EVERYTHING IS FINE

- What are you five ?

- DANCING CHICKENS

- Best friends help each other commit crimes against the kingdom

- King really is evil he made everyone go to an assembly and they aren’t even in school

- WAIT WAS KING SUPPOSED TO BE AN ALIEN

- how old is the king ? Do we know at all ?

- Casually dooms yourself to an eternity of pain because you got insecure

- HE HAS A SECRET LAIR LIKE HAWKMOTH

- ok how do wishes work again ? Was gramps not free to still inspire people

- Not the mom pleading for her daughter to only get her wish trampled on (definitely don’t need to look at how accurate that is)

- Star said SQUARE TF UP

- He’s literally just your king hit him with your bookshelf

- Returns to your stable if anyone asks pLaY dUmB

- when you have to speed run the 5 stages of grief bc you are the main character damnit

- I know what your thinking- WELL I DONT girl that star doesn’t have an expression on his face

- I can not swim *proceeds to jump into the water with reckless abandon *

- You’ve been hit by, you’ve been stuck by LOSS OF YOUR WISH

- ‘AMYIA darling your just in time come meet my new TOY’ why would you WRITE IT LIKE THAT

- Hot take anyone who calls their partner darling is on THIN FUCKING ICE

- King man went insane that is fun

- HANS KNOCK OFF BETRAYED THEM I FUCKING KNEW IT

- Dont worry im a talking mouse but very clean

- When you only want to be a loyal knight but you end up betraying your friends- happens to the best of us dude

- Good find Valentino - my butt found it

- introverts deserve sanctuary— louder for the people in the back

- STRIKE, STRIKE newsies vibes

- YES fulfill your Sabos wish

- doc and dopey slayed

- They all did

- They are like any queer friend group fr

- the chase scene is cool

- YAZ QUEEN GET YOUR HUSBAND

- I was fooled by the love I felt- Its ok queen you were definitely manipulated not your fault

- Don’t destroy never land you bastard

- A stick ? What am I supposed to do with this ?

- The MUSHROOMS 🍄

- Poor gizmo can’t catch a break no matter what universe he’s in

- a dress on a tree more likely than you think

- Dude bro dear got into the mushrooms fr

- Sometimes a plan is just you and your six friends jumping from a high place

- FUCKING HANS GOT ME AGAIN

- thanks John

- Your so right bunnies are terrifying

- Nope nope nope nope nope

- StAr GeT aWaY fRoM tHeRe

- WAIT IS HE MAGIC MIRRIR GUY

- Yay singing again

- THE power of collective singing will always save the day

- GREEN SMOKE

- MyWiShEs dude get a grip

- Simon and queen should be besties now

- LONG LIVE THE QUEEN

- Peter Pan origin story 👀👀

- ZOOTOPIA ?!?

- bippty boppty boo the magic wand is fixed

- Give GIZMO THE WAND 😭he deserves it

- Fireworks yay

- 5/10 movie

[doublefantasyqueer]

60s dashboard simulator

[pt: 60s dashboard simulator]

🎶 mclennon Follow

she loves you

🔉 quarrymenfan Follow

YEAH YEAH YEAH

🎶 mclennon Follow

she loves you

🥁 ringosrings Follow

YEAH YEAH YEAH

57,654 notes

🛵 modernistinspo Follow

Rockers DO NOT INTERACT and maybe kys too <3

13 notes

🍄 tiptoethruthetulips Follow

mushrooms

you agree. reblog.

13,349 notes

🎤 pleasepleaseme Follow

OMG GUYS I WAS FEELING KIND OF SICK AND THEN I SAW THE FAB FOUR AND I WAS LITERALLY INSTANTLY CURED

God bless The Beatles 🙏 🙏

🤤 cleanoldman Follow

I think it would fix me if John rearranged my insides

🎤 pleasepleaseme Follow

Make your own post.

32,930 notes

🗳️ votekennedy Follow

I'm going to see JFK at Dealey Plaza on Friday!!! It's going to be such a gas, nothing could ruin it!

🗳️ votekennedy Follow

I'm so sorry.

#FBI I swear I had nothing to do with this

1,564 notes

💗 lennonapologist Follow

hot take but john was right when he said they're more popular than jesus. i love god, but me and every other teen i know only have beatles posters in their rooms. he was just saying that teens care more about music than jesus, which has always been true!

🥁 ringosrings Follow

Right on, OP

Plus when Jesus was alive, he was really unpopular so... it's not hard to beat that

🙏 jesuslovesyou Follow

L take

Don't listen to these idiots and keep burning those records!!

17,852 notes

🪩 groovierthanu Follow

How do they make the horse... do that? In Mr Ed? It's far out

📽️ movienerd Follow

Hey OP, I break down a lot of effects on my blog!

Mister Ed post

245 notes

🍃 therollingstoners Follow

GUYS I FIGURED IT OUT

Time isn't real. There are infinite universes that we're all connected to in some way. We're always breaking the constructs of physics. Tumblr shouldn't exist because it's bending time backwards... We're inside a pocket universe that exists purely for a meme in another universe. Nothing we do matters, so we may as well just make love, turn on, tune in, and drop out

420 notes

🌈 reclaimedqueer Follow

WE FOUGHT BACK.

WE FOUGHT BACK.

The pigs raided Stonewall Inn last night and WE FOUGHT BACK.

THE FUTURE IS QUEER.

46,835 notes

🐶 mccartneyisbabygirl Follow

WAIT HUH DID PAUL DIE??? WHAT'S GOING ON ON MY DASH???

82 notes

🐷 beachieboys Follow

Guys is it just me or are The Beatles kind of... communist?

The new Piggies and USSR songs are a bit hmmm

🇺🇸 fuckcommies Follow

not at all!! they're as american as they come!!

🕉️ georgeimagines Follow

you do realise the beatles are english right?

#this is the jesus discourse all over again #literally no one cares but the yanks

1,904 notes

🌙 spaceraceupdates Follow

Bowie predicted the moon landing???

#I actually dig the song ngl #should've listened to it earlier ↑#moon landing

972 notes

🎸 eleanorrigby Follow

so i watched magical mystery tour....... /neg

2,829 notes

☮️ thefutureishippie Follow

REBLOG TO GIVE PEACE A CHANCE

89,622 notes

[mrs-jury]

After a long time I realized it was time to show my Ghosts Oc and here is Orion🪐...

(l know my digital painting is ☠️, but I promise I'll fix this ʘ⁠ᴗ⁠ʘ)

Whatever,lets move on to the information part...

✿ Name:???(She doesn't prefer use her real name.Only a few medical personnel know her real name)

✿ Nickname:Orion or Rio (Sometimes other ghosts call her Oreo as a joke, but she really doesn't care)

✿ Gender:Female

✿ Age:26

✿⁠ Birth:07/21/2001 (Yeah she born at the same year as Logan)

✿⁠ Sign:Cancer

✿⁠ MBTİ:İNTP

✿⁠ Nationality:Turkey

✿⁠ Height:1,64 cm

✿⁠ Branch:Medic

♪ Favorite Colour:Blue and Red

♪ Favorite Animal:

♪ Favorite Food:Stuffed grape leaves

♪ Favorite Book:Nowhere İs Home Anymore-John Boyne

♪ Favorite Song:

♪ Favorite Activity:Sudoku-Drawing

♪ Fobies:High Places and...Economi

♪ Favorite Fruit and Vegetable:Watermelon-Carrot

'Small' İnformation Part:

෴ After Odin's attacks,a civilian doctor found her injured when she was 20 years old and,upon Orion's request,he gave her a solid medical education (Emergency Surgery,wound healing during conflict,making medicine with materials needed in nature,making vaccines,etc.).Incredibly,Orion reached the level of a master doctor in 6 years.

෴ Orion recognizes people by looking at them from afar.But she hates this habit.But over time,she managed to overcome it.

෴ Hates Mushrooms and Eggplants.

෴ She can only use a gun as a weapon.Yes,because she didn't receive proper gun training.Her skill in using a gun comes from his father.When she was little,her father taught her how to hold a gun every time they went to the forest.And for that, she is grateful to her father.

෴ She's bad at lifting heavy loads but...god,that speed...Seriously just tell her where to go and she's right there.In some missions,while other ghosts have a hard time getting through tight places,Orion literally looks like she's walking through.

෴ Most of the time she doesn't care about small injuries.But...if she sees someone she cares about getting seriously injured...She could seriously have a heart attack right there and no one would blame her for that.

෴ If you give her any information about anything, you'll probably get the following response;

"What should I do with this info¿.."

...

"But this is so important"

"So..."

like this...

෴ Sometimes,if she has accidentally offended people or done something to make them angry,she can give them small gifts (Like bracelets or pins)

Relaitonship With Boys;

❤️Red:Hate/Enemy

🧡Orange: Don't know

💛Yellow:Know

💚Green:Like/Respect

💙Blue:Friends

💜Purple:BBF

🩷Pink:Crush

(İf someone want to use👇)

[m1ssunderstanding]

Thank you for tagging me, @adriennefrombrooklyn!!

Three Ships

This is awkward okay I've literally never shipped anything besides John and Paul. Sorry. I just am still coming out of my extremely repressive conservative upbringing okay I know it's embarrassing sorry I literally debated not doing this for this reason but there you go.

First Ship

Mclennon.

Last Song

I Am The Walrus. One of my toddler's favorite things to do in the evenings is dance (swing him around and toss him and chase him etc to a record.) I have my records low where he can get them and he picks one out and I lift him up so he can press play and we have a little window cover over our record table, it's really cool actually my husband made it, and he lays face down on that and watches the needle go down and then stands up and jumps off and I catch him and off we go. Anyway today was MMT :)

Last TV Show

I genuinely can't remember the last TV show I watched :/ My friend started showing me The Bear a couple weeks ago. I loved the first few episodes. I should watch it.

Currently Watching

Tons of shameless clips on YouTube. I'm obsessed. I want to marry Fiona Gallagher. Please and thank you. I should also watch that although I've heard only the first four seasons are actually good?

Currently Reading

The Cruel Prince. Little sister has been obsessed with it for a good while now and sometimes I try to be a good sibling lol. No it's actually pretty good. The world building and prose are beautiful and real. The hard thing is I don't really like any of the characters and I'm almost done. But the plot is mysterious and twisty, which is always nice!

Currently Eating

Girl Dinner 24/7 because my husband is on a work trip and I literally will just not eat actual food rather than go to the effort of making it and cleaning up after a long day of working and taking care of my little guy by myself. Tonight it was two tomatoes and peach ice cream out of the carton.

Currently Craving

my husband's cooking lol um like a really good blue cheese salad and grilled steak with mushrooms maybe!

Thanks again, friend! This was fun!

@sleeper9 @bewareofdarkness @a-queen-of-the-clouds I'd love to see your answers if you want to share!

[teledyn]

Apparently not 'real' artists (in Canada) :

Kafka! (worked in insurance)

Charles Ives (worked in insurance)

John Cage (made no money until he was 50, and that was for mushrooms)

William Carlos Williams (was a doctor)

Paul Cézanne (was a trust fund baby) , Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec too

Frank Lloyd Wright (was an art dealer)

Philip Glass (was a taxi driver but improved later in life)

William Faulkner (was a postal worker)

Vermeer (married wealth)

Caillebotte (was already wealthy)

Da Vinci (military contractor)

Marcel Duchamp (was a dilettante)

Willem de Kooning (painted signs so that might count)

William Dafoe (had a rich brother)

Vincent van Gogh (also had a rich(er) brother)

Tom Thompson (was a fucking fire ranger)

The value of your art isn't measured in sales receipts.

[joanofarcbutsilly]

john “soap” mactavish x reader

ft. ghost

cute little thoughts about soap and reader finding a place to enjoy

reader is gender neutral! can be read as platonic or romantic!

my favorite order at MY local diner is included as a little easter egg hehe

one of the ways soap shows you he cares is by remembering as much information about you as he possibly can

pov: you and soap are at a diner you two love to visit on your off time after being relocated

a little establishment that’s pretty close to the base, just near enough to be able to sneak off without being caught be ghost

simon always knows when you and johnny leave camp, nothing really escapes him, especially the goings on at work. even though he will ALWAYS be able to find another task that needs completing for one or both of you, he also knows that soap loves the thrill of your “secret” rendezvous. he won’t admit it, but he finds it very cute, and how could he put a stop to such a simple pleasure?

anyways! back to soap!

so you two are at the your little hide out hole-in-the-wall, just chatting it up about anything and everything

soap LOVES to gossip

he will tell you some probably (read: definitely) fake stories. like the time he had to share a bed with the rest of the 141 at a safe house, and he SWEARS TO GOD that when he woke up in the middle of the night he saw simon and price cuddling in their sleep.

you can make fun of him all you want, call him a no good liar, say you KNOW it’s not true, you can even bring proof! tell him about the time you and ghost had to share a little patch of floor for bedtime, and when you knocked into him in his sleep he punched you in the stomach so hard you almost threw up.

soap says simon must just not like you that much, because he SWEARS ghost has kissed him on the forehead in his sleep.

he is such a faker.

there is no real point in arguing with him, he will defend each and everyone of his tall tales to his death. he has swore on everything he holds dear, including his mother, and locked pinkies with you so many times that it’s a little inside greeting for the two of you now.

you and soap have also challenged yourselves to try EVERYTHING on the menu. johnny insists that you give every menu item a shot, even the ones you know for a fact you won’t/don’t like. HOWEVER, he always has a clever excuse to why he can’t eat anything with mushrooms.

the seriousness of his “allergy” to mushrooms has been recorded ranging from hives, to immediate anaphylactic shock, he’s even claimed that he will combust into flames.

YOU have to try everything though. no excuses.

once you have managed to taste the entire menu, you go back to ordering whatever is your favorite

which brings us to soap’s next little quirk

soap LOVES ordering for you

not in a controlling way of course! he just loves to show off how well he knows you, to the smallest detail!

he knows EXACTLY how you like your favorite drink. how many creamers and sugar packets you like in your coffee, the juice you prefer (and has no shame in asking for mixes of several types, since he knows that you like an apple and cranberry juice concoction), and if you like iced tea, he knows how many lemon slices you like and if you like it sweetened or unsweetened. he knows all of this by HEART. your preferences are tattooed onto his soul.

so when the waitress comes over and turns to you to ask for your order, soap holds up both of his hands frantically and exclaims for you to wait. he then leans forward with his eyes closed and his elbows on the table, fingers massaging his temples.

“hmmm-“ he starts, much too seriously for the problem at hand, “they wan’ a denver skillet. eggs sunny side up. extra cheese and peppers. replace the toast with pancakes. with chocolate chips. and sprinkes. and whipped cream.”

he breaks character when he can’t hold back anymore and his face cracks into a smile, “could ya’ make the pancakes into a mouse?”

the waitress is charmed and amused by the two of you, and especially appreciates the generous tip she gets from you both, so she is more than willing to put up with your shenanigans.

soap still has a sly grin when he asks you if you’d like to change anything

soap is a human garbage can, so if you order for him (just make sure it doesn’t have mushrooms), whatever it is, he will loudly declare that it was the best meal he’s ever had.

when you and the rest of the 141 eventually have to move from this base to the next, this little tradition continues. you and soap immediately hunt out the closest local eatery, and start all over.

bonus!!

soap cannot keep his mouth shut, and will tell ghost all of the details of your excursions when he gets bored on coms.

ghost will just ignore him most of the time, just humming in false acknowledgment of whatever the hell soap is saying.

BUT. soap doesn’t know it, but his Lt. has taken the liberty to visit the same establishments as the two of you, and has escaped running into you guys by the skin of his teeth.

thank god he never stays, because soap would be in SO MUCH SHIT

[dinotoro]

enhypen as sylvia plath poems

permanent taglist : @mochamvgz , @nyxvrse , @luvistqrzzz , @hyhees , @sngvhs warnings : none divider credit : @v6que lowercase intended.

heeseung - Poems, Potatoes

your relationship with heeseung was a short lived yet eventful one

eventful as in the lack of events

it just felt odd and cold

why even be in a relationship where the other person doesn't reciprocate the love you give?

yes it is true that not everyone loves with the same amount

but it was getting too much for you to ask for even a sliver of affection

and you were not a believer of tough love or that love blooms in the darkest of times

when everything ended, heeseung was indifferent

or maybe he did feel something, but just like always, you couldn't see or feel it

jay - Alicante Lullaby

your life could be described as a boring movie about war and bloodshed

until jay arrived; because it turned into a musical after

when you had tumbled into the deep loathing pit with no hopes of getting up, jay had extended his hand and pulled you out of it

if you were a survivor, then jay was your shock blanket and your shield

if your life was a discarded painting, then jay was bob ross

he painted shades you had never imagined to see in your life

he brought music and colour to your life

and you couldn't have been more grateful

and every time you saw the rainbow, you would think of jay's everlasting glowing smile

jake - Frog Autumn

as john green has once described, falling in love is like sleeping - slowly and then all at once

but what about falling out of it?

what is that described as?

is it like waiting up from a nightmare - when your eyes shoot open and you lay in bed trembling and panting?

or is the unsettling feeling and the soft sobs that escape the dry lips because it all felt too real?

autumn is such a nice weather; the pumpkins waiting to be carved and the leaves on the ground waiting to be crushed to give the crunchy sound

then why is it that the only shattering sound that you heart was of your heart?

how come you thought of jake as the love of your life, yet for him you were just a lover of the passing summer?

you cried out loud, hoping winter will hold the answers to the all the questions that you had

sunghoon - Black Pine Tree In An Orange Light

you have always found autumn to be an interesting season

it is such a highly anticipated season, even with all its morbid glory

well stepping on leaves and cutting pumpkins up seems like an aggressive way of displaying affections

yet you found it to be so joyful

sunghoon had always been this cold guy who pushed everyone away, afraid of love

but then you arrived in his life

he knows it's cliche, but he can't help being smitten

it's you, after all

in his life where everything was dark and black, you painted it a bright shade of orange

needless to say, the contrast nourished the glow and helps the flowers of love bloom

sunoo - Never Try To Trick Me With A Kiss

you wished you were ignorant

you wished you didn't decide to visit sunoo's office

you wished you didn't see him kissing his secretary

you wished, but it was too late

you saw your boyfriend kissing his secretary

you saw everything crumbling down

when you confronted him about it, he tried to act innocent and said he will kiss your worries away; but you pushed him away

he wished he didn't cheat on you

he wished he stopped himself before it got out of his hand

he wished, but what was the point of wishing when what he did was something he encouraged and consented?

jungwon - Mushrooms

jungwon and your love and not been the most conventional one out there

it was mostly him making the decisions and you going along with it

did you let him dictate your life? yes, but only because you loved him

or that was what you would tell yourself

for you wanted a taste of freedom too

so slowly and steadily you started to gain some control

and as you two laid on the bed, limbs intertwined, you smiled at his sleepy face

yes, you loved jungwon but you loved yourself a little bit more

niki - Fiesta Melons

niki had always been a goal oriented guy

when he had his eyes on something, he was determined to get it

so you weren't surprised when he kept crushing on you, knowing very well that you would not say yes

...or would you?

all these insecurities and questions were washed away when after years of chasing you and improving on himself, he finally got to call you his other half

you were reminiscing all those times while walking down the streets holding his hand

it was the festive season and everyone seemed happy

there was colourful confetti everywhere and the fruits looked fresh

every shopkeeper had a big smile on their face

when you looked at your current boyfriend, you smiled widely

all the colours around you seem to fit well, for your boyfriend was indeed a man to be celebrated