#my 8 year old self would b so proud

[muckyschmuck]

damn the atmosphere could turn this temple to a tomb!!!!!!!!

[mirai-e-jump]

Masato Yano Photobook: TONE (translations and select pages below)

Publication: March 15, 2024

Masato Yano's 132 Q&A About 13 years ago, "Masato Yano's Style Photobook" was published with a Q&A. Now, a 32 year old Masato Yano answers nearly the same questions again.

1) What's your nickname? Yanocchi, Masanii, Masati

2) When were you born? December 16, 1991

3) What's your blood type? Type B

4) Your zodiac sign? Sagittarius

5) What size family are you from? I come from a family of 4

6) How tall are you? 173cm

7) Your shoe size? 26.5cm

8) What are some of your strengths? My jokes

9) How do you spend your days off? I'll drink the night before, go to the gym

10) What subjects were you worst at? Math and history

11) What are your favorite foods? Sushi and tsukemen

12) What's your assessment of your own personality? I'm easily obsessive and bored. I'm actually shy, but I'm trying my best so you don't think that way (laughs)

13) What are some of your weaknesses? I'm not good at remembering things like people's birthdays or names

14) What are you proud of? That I made my debut in "Shintokumaru"

15) What's your favorite color? Red and white

16) What type of woman do you like? Someone with a good core, someone who eats beautifully

17) What instruments can you play? None

18) What's your special skill? That I can guess who someone is just by their voice

19) What's your best feature? My double eyelids

20) What do you wish would disappear from the world? War

21) The first impressions that are often said about you? That I look scary

22) The person that you respect? Tsumabuki Satoshi-san and Fujiwara Tatsuya-san

23) What do you have a habit of saying? "~nanoyo" and "oh no"

24) Your least favorite type? Someone who only talks about themself

25) What's your treasure? The wallet I received from Tsumabuki-san

26) The ideal self that you desire to be? I want to be liked by many people

27) What's your "theme song"? Recently it's been that I'm the "most powerful king"

28) Your favorite artists? WATWING, the Carpenters, Eric Clapton, GENERATIONS

29) What do you do when you first wake up in the morning? Put on my glasses

30) What do you do right before bed? Put on the radio

31) What habits do you do unconsciously? Touch my nose, do things like suck on the end of a straw

32) What do you usually perform at karaoke? I tend to sing alot by SMAP

33) What foods do you not like? Shiitake mushrooms

34) What's your favorite thing to drink? Mets Grapefruit

35) What was the first CD you ever bought? Jet Coaster Romance by KinKi Kids

36) What do you like to watch and what's your favorite anime? Great Pretender, soccer games

37) How long does it take for you to bathe? 1 hour

38) What's your favorite season? I don't do well with heat

39) When do your emotions become intense? They don't

40) What are your hobbies? Muscle training

41) Do you cry easily? When I feel like it

42) Do you have a pet? What's it's name? I had one. It was a cat named Chaco

43) How many children do you want? I want two. A boy and a girl

44) What's the first thing you look at when entering a convenience store? The bento corner

45) What do you usually buy from a convenience store? Water and spicy ramen

46) What really makes you angry? Nothing much

47) What's the number one thing you want right now? Muscles! (laughs)

48) What have you been secretly interested in recently? The Korean language

49) What's the one thing you'd take to a deserted island? A lighter

50) How do you relax at home? Burn incense and listen to some records

51) What's necessary for world peace? Love

52) What do you wonder about? Why is there a Ladies Day, but not a Men's Day?

53) What would you do if the world ended today? I'd overdo things as usual

54) S? M? I wouldn't say I'm an M💦

55) What's your phone background? Currently it's King-Ohger (for the past 2 months)

56) What animal would you compare yourself to? Some kind of reptilian I guess

57) What are you into these days? Cilantro

58) What do you like to collect? Miniature food sets

59) What's your favorite scent? White musk types, Savon by SHIRO

60) What's something expensive that you bought recently? A vintage varsity jacket

61) How often do you go out shopping? At the very least I go out once a month

62) Can you cook? I do it often

63) What kind of present would you be happy to get from a friend? I'd be happy with anything

64) What would make a girl happy if you gave her a present? Aesop

65) What's your fetish? Legs

66) What would the ideal confession be? Saying it on the way back home after going out for meals a few times

67) At what age do you want to marry by? Hopefully by 40 (laughs)

68) What's something good you do for your body? I go to the gym

69) What's something you always have on you? Chapstick

70) What's the ideal spot for a date? A buffet

71) Which do you prefer? The sea or the mountains? Both the sea and mountains have alot of bugs

72) What scares you? Roller coasters, horror, cockroaches

73) When does your excitement rise? When my work goes well

74) What's your favorite place? Home

75) What's your favorite store? It's a secret ❤️

76) Are you a meat eater? Vegetarian? Are you a fan of cabbage rolls? I eat bugs

77) What's your favorite onigiri topping? Salmon roe

78) What do you usually get at a cafe? I don't go to cafes

79) What's something tasty you've eaten recently? The umeboshi Fukuyama-kun gave me

80) What have you been paranoid about recently? That a big earthquake will hit Tokyo

81) Where do you start washing your body from? My head

82) What's your favorite type of fashion? Things that give off an "American casual" feel

83) At what moment do you fall in love with someone? Sometimes it's not really apparent

84) What words make you happy to hear? "Your performance was good"

85) What's your favorite movie? Grave of the Fireflies

86) What person do you really want to meet right now? Ninagawa-san

87) What's something that's alittle luxurious? Sushi that doesn't come from a conveyor belt

88) How would you describe yourself with a single (kanji) character? "Think," because no matter what I do or say, I have alot to think about.

89) How long does it take you to get up in the morning and leave your house? On a work day it takes 20 minutes. I usually don't go out on my days off (laughs)

90) What changes your mood? When I'm left out

91) What would you consider (if they did) to be cheating on you? If they did a deep kiss (laughs)

92) Are you sensitive to the heat? To the cold? I don't like either

93) Emails or phone calls, which is better? Writing is best

94) What do you frequently use on your phone? Instagram, Twitter, Uber

95) How old were you when you first fell in love? What kind of person were they? It was a kid who lived in my neighborhood when I was in my second year of elementary school.

96) What gestures do women do that make you feel excited? When they put their hair behind one ear

97) Are you enjoying work right now? I want to have fun (laughs)

98) What's your favorite TV program? Programs that only feature comedians

99) What's your favorite sport? Soccer

100) What's your least favorite sport? Baseball

101) Are you the type of person who likes park rides that cause you to scream? I don't do well with them, but if I'm asked to ride one, I will (laughs)

102) Are you good at athletics? I think I'm a good at it

103) What do you take photos of? Tsukemen and sushi

104) What's your favorite flower? Gerbera

105) What's your favorite event of the year? It's New Year's Eve, I'll have a party with my friends and we'll eat alot

106) What's your top 3 favorite stalls at a festival? Beef skewers is #3, grilled squid is #2, okonomiyaki is #1

107) What was your most stressful experience? Performing on opening day for Shintokumaru

108) Your favorite donburi? Beef bowl

109) Are you good with your hands? I wonder~?

110) How long do you sleep in a day? About 3-7 hours. I sleep alot longer on days when I don't work

111) Is your sleeping position good? I think it's okay

112) What's your favorite ramen? I love tsukemen. I have a "cat's tongue" though

113) What color would you compare yourself to? Purple

114) Do you like scary stories? I don't like them in any way (laughs)

115) What subjects were you best at? Gym and art

116) What club activities were you involved in? The soccer club in middle school and the dance club in high school

117) If you were reborn, would you rather be male or female? I'd still want to be male

118) What part time jobs have you had? A bread factory, an Izakaya, a festival stall

119) What do you want to do when you're 40? Meet fans at events

120) What were your favorite school lunches? Nanbanzuke, meat sauce

121) Have you ever seen a ghost? I might've (laughs)

122) What's something you'd like to try that you've never experienced before? Travel overseas

123) Where would you like to take a trip to? Hot springs, Korea, Italy

124) What's your favorite ride at an amusement park? The exploration based ones

125) How many times in one day do you send emails? Currently, I exchange about 30-50 LINE's a day

126) Were you the type of person who finished their Summer homework early? I always felt like I was rushing to finish it at the last second💦

127) Are you more likely to arrive early for a meet up? Or do you arrive late? For work I'm early, in my private life I'm late

128) If you want to go out with someone, how many years older are you okay with? I've never thought about it in terms of age

129) What's an essential item you need when traveling? Earphones

130) What do you do when you can't sleep at night? There are so many things that I'll just give up. I actually thought about this questionnaire when I couldn't sleep (laughs)

131) What do you think about while brushing your teeth? I imagine that there's red paint on my teeth, and then I'll imagine how I have to get it off

132) If you only had one week left to live, what would you do? I'd eat a bunch of the foods I like. I'd meet up with the people I like as much as possible. I'd leave a secret audio farewell message for everyone

[secondgenerationnerd]

What was Mar-Mar's first reaction to snow? I feel like it was incredibly adorable for the batfamily to witness.

I like to think they call her Riri, but Mar-Mar is cute!

Honestly, I’ve had this in my head for a while so here’s the fic of it!

————

An empty bed is nothing new for Dick to wake to. Especially in this room, remnants of his teenage self on the walls. But the smiling face of a beautiful woman, with impossible green eyes and red curls, from several pictures reminds him of who had fallen asleep in his bed last night.

Before he panicks, Dick walks down the hall. Sure enough, the door to Jason’s room stands open. He pokes his head in. Curled up on her broadchested uncle, his 8 year old daughter sleeps peacefully. Her stuffed elephant hangs from her hand. While she doesn’t wake, Jason’s eyes open, an arm wrapping protectively around her.

“Just me, Jaybird.” He says, smiling at the pair. “I’ll be downstairs.”

Yawning, Jason nods and closes his eyes, arm still around the little girl. As Dick heads down to the kitchen, he makes a note of who Mar’i went to. In the months since she came to Earth, the family quickly noticed a habit of hers.

Whether in their apartment in Blüdhaven or here at the manor, she would often end up in someone’s room. Curled up on their floor, sleeping fitfully. Not every night, but enough they figured it had to do with her late mother. They’d found a simple enough solution—Mar’i usually slept in her dad’s bed and, if she went to someone else’s room, she left to door open.

“Good morning, Master Richard,” Alfred says, setting down a mug of coffee.

“Morning, Alfred,” Dick takes the coffee with an appreciative smile, “Anything I can help with?”

“You may set the table for breakfast.” Dick knows better than to argue with his pseudo-grandfather. Setting the table, the pair chat about the gala from the night before. Then, Alfred asks, “Did Ms. Mar’i enjoy herself?”

Last night was Mar’i’s first Gala, and Dick couldn’t have been more proud of how she behaved, “I think she gave Bruce some gray hairs. He’s so used to our antics, he wasn’t prepared for her being an angel.”

“Clearly a trait from her mother.” Alfred notes, “I recall your goal to see which manor had the strongest chandelier.”

“Hey it was cute when I was 9!” Dick laughs, taking a seat at the breakfast bar.

“Daddy?” Mar’i’s sleepy voice warms something in him. Jason walks in carrying the little princess, her stuffed elephant in her arms.

“She heard your heartbeat leaving.” Jason says, handing her off to her father, “Think she’s still fighting sleep.”

“Hey, Starshine,” Dick takes her easily, kissing her dark curls, “You keep Uncle Jaybird safe last night?”

Nodding, Mar’i wraps her arms around his neck, face pressed to his shoulder. Dick’s come to love their morning routine. Sitting at the table while Jason helps Alfred cook breakfast, he reads the news and last nights reports. Letting her wake slowly.

By the time the rest of the family joins them, she’s coloring happily at the breakfast bar. Cass leans over to admiring the drawing of them dancing. Damian feeds Titus and Ace, accepting help from his stepmother. Once they’re all at the table, the dig into breakfast, chatting amongst themselves.

“Oh, look!” Cass says, pointing to the window, “It’s snowing!”

Everyone looks and, sure enough, find thick flakes falling from the sky. Frosting the grass and bare branches with soft snow.

Tim checks the weather, “We’re supposed to get a few inches today. Maybe we’ll get a few days out of it before it turns into a gray slu—“

“Princessa,” Jason interrupts, watching Mar’i heading towards the front doors, “Where are you going?”

Mar’i doesn’t answer. Stepping out onto the front porch, snow crunching under her bare feet, Mar’i stares up at the sky. Fluffy flakes land in her dark curls. Her hands stretch up, flinching at the first flakes until she realizes they won’t hurt her.

That’s when they hear it. Something they haven’t heard much of. A bright warm laugh bouncing off the walls. As they look back at Mar’i, they can’t believe their eyes. She’s floating. A few inches at first, then rising higher and higher.

“I thought she couldn’t….” Tim’s voice dies off.

“She hasn’t since….”

“Tamaraneans fly when they feel unbridled joy.” Dick murmurs. Mar’i keeps floating, giggling at the new sight. His own smile forming, he walks over to her, holding out his arms, “Come back, Starshine. I’ll miss you if you go.”

Mar’i twists in the air, as if it hadn’t occurred to her she was flying. Rather than taking off, like they’d expect most kids to do, she floats down into his arms.

“C’mon, beauty. Let’s eat then we can play outside.” He promises, carrying her to their family.

“Promise, Daddy.”

It’s not a question, and it still makes him smile.

“Promise, promise.”

[zeborah]

can you share with us your favorite drawings of windicuffs you've done so far?

OF COURSE!!!! i haven't drawn them in a good while (other hyperfixation has taken over) but to date this is definitely my favourite, it's just so warm and summery and full of love and happiness and i KNOW my younger self would be soooo so proud of it if she could see it

and the rest of these are either wips or very old but i think they're good still too 8)

HONORARY MENTIONS FOR THE OGS!!! some old old 12+ year old art that is now ugly but you can see the vision

this animation got 100k+ notes on here and basically nobody knew it was gay homestuck incest so i consider that a CORE life achievement:

here's some that while not perfect by any means, they are fully of love and joy and i remember being so happy when i drew them :^)

this one is so old and weird it has an ifunny.co logo which i think is incredible:

this one is very sweet:

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST these two that i made for my themes :3

the second ones were based off of a repeating sheep background i used at the time, i thought i still had it but unfortunately it has been lost to time B'(

i hope you enjoyed taking this little trip down memory lane with me! i love windicuffs with all my heart and they're the one ship i always end up coming back to with the same adoration i had for them many many moons ago 💝💝

[lightdragon789]

Other inserts backstory/facts Pt 9

Eva Morris

Almost at the end, I’m gonna miss doing this but I’ll be happy to get this done.

Rebel spy is honestly very fun and I really like the dynamic with Naveed. He’s a goofy guy who doesn’t know pig grow hair. (I will forever hold this over his head lol) but let’s dive into my listener for this series, Eva!

(TW: topic of sexual harassment)

Backstory:

Much of 2772's history is unknown. The only thing she knows is that her parents are nowhere to be found on the ship. Considered to be MIA.

Eva grew up with her uncle who was a high rank on Valeazean and thus gave Eva some privileges. Such as reading old books from earth and being able to go with her uncle to meet the council. But it also gave her high expectations not only because of her uncle but because she wanted to make her missing parents proud.

She was put into training in communication and investigation as her start up occupations. She did well in her work and was raised up to a level 5 cadet. Especially when she also applied to work in navigation. She was very trusting to others who were friendly to her. Always having fun and taking their work seriously.

This came to bite her as she (around 19 at this point) was walking with a senior cadet. They were just chatting with their friend before they went to their rooms. He walked her to her room and kept making sly and flirtatious remarks to Eva. Which was making her uncomfortable and she tried to excuse herself and walk away. However, he grabbed her and pinned her to the wall. Holding a blade to her throat that if she dared to scream or fight back. He would slit her throat and then started feeling her up.

It made her feel disgusted and she pushed and punched him in the face. Also causing him to slash the side of her neck. She took her chance and started running as he raised his blade and faked chased her. Eva went back into her room and locked herself, holding her bleeding neck. She didn’t have a lot of medical supplies but she managed to patch herself up. Afterwards she just cried into her pillow until she fell asleep.

She was awoken by banging at her door and she put on her jacket to cover her neck. Feeling ashamed of her wound and not wanting to be shown with bare skin. It was her uncle and he lightly scolded her for attacking the senior officer unprompted and would be issued a penalty. Unless she had a convincing counter, which she said she didn’t. She was emotional drained and didn’t want to talk about what happened.

It took her a few months to get over the encounter and while she performed her tasks. She was very withdrawn and not as social as before, being more cautious of everyone and even to older officers. But she decided to toughen herself out, so that no one touches her again.

As years go on, she kept herself busy in the training room. Strengthening her body and gaining muscles. Teaching herself self defense and some offense combat. Also entering in interrogation, as she was surprisingly well at making people confess. It helped strengthen her resolve in being tough and more so in her confidence. She stayed a level 6 cadet and would have been a level 7-8 if it wasn’t for her penalty.

Things only got more frustrating, as Eva tried to ask about her parents. Asking if they were on the ship, if they were dead and other things. Most of which, her uncle dismissed or gaslit her with random details. She grew more distrusting of him and soon went to get answers herself. As going to sector B to look through her files didn’t give her answers, nothing mentioning her parents. Eva had a feeling there was more to it. She went into her uncle’s corridors armed with a flash drive and with her uncle’s id card. Eva wasn’t skilled at hacking so she borrowed his card in the lie that she wanted to read some old earth books.

She snuck in and got to work on his system. She once the flash drive was in, it would give warning that someone was going into the system. So once she found her files (as well as some locked files) she managed to compile them and plugged the flash drive in to download them. It took a while and she knew a warning would be sent to her uncle that someone was looking into the files on his computer.

She managed to get it all downloaded, unplug it and stash it in her pocket before her uncle and two officers came in. Eva managed to just make it look like she was looking at secret ship system blue prints. Her uncle scolded her harshly for this as those blueprints weren’t even approved yet. Calling her a problem solider, issuing her another penalty and demoting her back to a level 4 cadet.

She tried to explain herself but he didn’t hear it, stating she should be lucky their family as he would throw her into space if she was a rando. She was shaken by this and once again accepted the punishment. She went back to her room and stores the drive in a safe place, as she needed to get someone skilled in hacking in order to see her files.

She gained a new coat after being demoted and Eva still kept her distance. Not trusting her uncle or anyone on Valeazean for that matter. The only person who still remained a good friend to her was Trinity. As she made the effort to talk and help Eva when she got demoted and was getting more snappy with people she worked with. She let Eva vent to her about her problems with everyone and asks if she was bad due to her distrust of the council runs things and their twisted philosophies.

She assures her she wasn’t but warns her to be careful. As she heard rumors of a rebel group forming and she wanted Eva to be careful in case they tried to recruit her. Seeing her attitude and distrust to everyone might make them think she’s a worthy recruit. Eva assured Trinity she wouldn’t get herself killed by joining “a small group of rule breakers.” However, Eva was intrigued hearing about a rebel group and questioned if Trinity let that slip or if it really was a warning.

She stayed in the dark about it but was trying to learn more about this rebel group. It wasn’t until someone affiliated with the group took an interest in Eva and gave her info on a recruitment meeting happening soon. They hope she can make it, as her close connections to her uncle and by extension the council, could be of use. Eva was skeptical about it but remembering how shady and distrusting the council (and by extension her uncle) was to her. She decided this was worth risking and went to the recruitment meeting.

However, she didn’t expect the weekly maintenance check to be happening the day of the meeting. It was being investigated and Eva quickly ran away in fear of getting caught. She decided to run to sector C server rooms, as no one goes down there often and only send bots when the systems are being hacked. Thinking no one would be down there, she used an access code her uncle gave her to access semi-important rooms a long time ago. She managed to get in and thought she had a chance to breathe.

But luck wasn’t on her side that day… or was it?

Facts time!

Eva is 27, 5’3 and is Aroace and goes by she/her pronouns.

Thanks to her uncle, she had privileges that not many others have. Such as access to old earth books. Her favorites being books on trees as she loves ones like willow tree.

She hates sudden loud noises as it causes her to freak out and cower.

Eva although doesn’t let her guard and always acts tough. She doesn’t like it and sometimes wishes she could go back to being the carefree person she once was.

She doesn’t like psychical contact and will shove someone off her or hit them if they dare to grab/attack her.

She will tolerate it, if it’s a dire situation (aka most of rebel spy lol) but she will be a bit pissy about it.

Her relationship with Naveed is rocky due to their first encounter with each other. However, she’s grown to tolerate him and find him humorous. Silently enjoying his company, even if it’s the wrong place to be making friends.

Even being okay with being near him as their time together shows he means her no harm. Especially, after she explained her side of the story from the first penalty with the cadet.

Her proof she was the victim was on her neck, as she still has a scar from where he sliced her. Due to her not properly treating it in the beginning.

Similar to Naveed and Soheil, Eva’s eyes glow in the dark. Sometimes when’s she stressed or in tight situations. To her it’s normal but she started questioning it when she saw the brother’s eyes doing the same thing. Making her question if she’s an experiment too, but doesn’t remember it.

That’s all I have on Eva right now, I love her dearly as she my angsty gal! But it’s time to end this backstory game with my little bug Nash! ^^

[elvain]

tagged by: mithrandir (love you zoe mwah)

20 Questions for Writers

1. How many works do you have on AO3? currently, i have 35 in my combined fandoms. 20 for marvel and 15 for tolkien.

2. What's your total AO3 word count? 353,833 but this is not a reflection of everything i have written; i tend to backlog 2-5 chapters per fic.

3. What fandoms do you write for? marvel comics + tolkien

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? Almost / one year older, one year better / Messily / At The Heart Of Time / Between Two Lungs

5. Do you respond to comments? i do not, because (and i know this is going to sound bad) i like to see my numbers accurately. i also don't often know what to say so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? for marvel, In The Bleak Midwinter - the main character is dead throughout and remains dead at the end. for tolkien, the lonely mountain (or, the grief of gimli) which stays pretty angsty/grief-centric throughout.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? for marvel, Almost - the main ship stays together and the epilogue takes them to five years later. :) for tolkien, All Those Who Wander because it is my biggest wish for the fellowship to be fully reunited once more. but i would argue that almost all my porn is a happy ending B)

8. Do you get hate on fics? i used to, back in the old days. but not anymore. not publicly, at least.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? i do; i write m/m, f/f, m/f but i haven't had the bravery to cross into threeways or group sex yet. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ as for kinks, i write what i am comfortable with and i would say it's pretty vanilla.

10. Do you write crossovers? i do not write or read them.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? once, but this was about 10 years ago.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? i've had offers in the past, but nothing's ever worked out.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? yes, i have. i'm looking into doing it again this year, but it's a rare activity for me.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? i always have a hard time answering this question because i am much more character-driven than ship-driven. i only think about ships when a certain moment/idea is brought up. for the moment, i will just say wonderbeast for marvel and idriltuor for tolkien, though.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? i have a bbc merlin one that's centered around written letters being passed back and forth. but it doesn't have what it takes to make it sadly

16. What are your writing strengths? characterization, or so i am told. i think it's accurate, as i never venture into a new character or ship unless i can hear the voice clear enough.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? i used to say it was fluff/humour, but i think i've recently honed those skills! so i will say that i think my biggest weakness is transitioning from the monologue/exposition back to the actual plot.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? as a tolkien writer and a woc, i am all for this. love doing it.

19. First fandom you wrote for? h...p when i was 9. i wrote the plot of the cursed child by hand into a notebook in bed. i'm waiting for my royalties check.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? i really love visions of the self and recently i published In The New Dawn and i'm super proud of its prose. :)

i am tagging: @brw, @lordoftherazzles, @thebitchkingofangmar, @avengerphobic and @thrakaboom!

[crotchety-old-emu]

20 questions For Fic Writers

thank you so much for taggin me, @colettebronte

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

All of six (although some unfinished) fics. However, I have written about fifty all in all, most of them are just up on my old livejournal. I haven't posted them on AO3 because no one would read them anyway.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

159 307 words.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently Brigderton. And I have this Stucky WIP that I really do still intend on finishing. Other than that, I have written quite a bit for Doctor Who, Torchwood, SPN RPF and of course, Harry Potter (Remus/Sirius forever).

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

our love is these days' piano (penthony)

R&R (rose/doctor)

(and in between i drink) black coffee (spn rpf)

be kind, unwind (spn rpf)

water out of wine (the aforementioned stucky wip)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I used to reply to every comment, back on LJ and on AO3 as well, but I was not prepared for the amount of comments I got for OLITDP. I couldn't keep up and ran out of new ways to say "thank you so much <3" so I haven't replied to any in a while. But every comment I get on the final chapter will definitely get a response.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

None that are on AO3. Life is stressful enough as it is, I just want my blorbos to be happy. Some of my earlier HP-fics were kind of angsty, mostly because I didn't quite do AU's yet. So there were lots of sad character moments for Remus and Sirius.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Pretty much all of them? Back when I started writing fics, I wrote a few with sad endings, but now I'll keep it ambiguous at the very least.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

One person commented on the first chapter of OLITDP that I should "be more obvious with self inserting and write OC/Anthony." Does that count?

I found it hilarious because a) I don't see how there's anything wrong with writing OC's and b) I genuinely was not self inserting.

But other than that, no. I haven't nearly gained enough traction to get hate.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I (anonymously!) wrote one smutty fic once and I still feel uncomfortable about it. As far as writing is concerned, it's just not my cup of tea. So much respect to the people who do, though.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Alas, no crossovers. If I ever think of a good idea for one, I would love to try my hand at it, though.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of. Again, I'm not even close to well known enough to have something like that happen.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

See above.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! I co-wrote a Remus/Sirius-fic with one of my LJ-besties at the time. I also started writing a fic with another LJ-friend that basically was Hogwarts: the Marauders Years. From what I remember, it was quite good, but it never got posted, I think.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

I can't possibly. I can tell you for each fandom, but I could never choose just one. I could perhaps narrow it down to Remus/Sirius and Stucky. And Ten/Rose. And Jack/Ianto. And J2. And Penthony.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

The Stucky WIP, without a doubt. It's possibly some of the best writing I've ever done. I think.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I'm definitely not saying I always hit the mark, but I do feel that whenever I've written something I'm kind of proud of, it's usually to do with explaining someone's feelings without outright stating them.

I like delving into the psychology of emotionally stunted characters and trying to convey exactly how ignorant they are about their (and others') feelings. And I think I'm usually best at that when I write dialogue.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

DESCRIPTIONS. I HATE THEM. THEY ARE THE WORST. If I get stuck on writing a chapter it is always, 100% that which I get stuck on.

Like for OLITDP, 65% of the coming chapters has been written, all through dialogue. Getting from one spoken line to the next, however, is THE BANE OF MY EXISTENCE.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I've written a few school plays, which have been in my native tongue (Dutch) and that's okay. But it would feel weird writing dialogue in a language which is not part of the fandom. Maybe I could squeeze in a few lines of badly written French if the plot really called for it, I guess?

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter, which was my main and only fandom for about 10 years.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Maybe my Stucky WIP? There's some bits in there that are quite good.

I'm also quite proud of Be Kind, Unwind (my first J2 AU and first and only finished Big Bang) and Cut Here (a J2 version of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind).

Honourable mention to Midnight, which is a (partial and unposted) rewrite of a Harry Potter-fic I started writing almost 20 years ago. Not necessarily because it's particularly well-written, but I did enjoy taking some of my older work and rewriting it in my current style. It's kind of neat to see how my writing's evolved.

If you made it this far, thank you so much for reading my silly rants on my silly writing.

Tagging @writingwhilecaffeinated, @doom-cookie1, @princessgotham21 and @queen-of-the-wallflowers15 and everyone who feels like doing it!

[almsgreed]

it’s literally been 8-9 years since I posted myself on tumblr so why not😂 I know my 17 year old self would be super proud 🥹! I’m a tumblr girl forevaaaaa (cardi b voice)

[alphabetsoup-blogposts]

You want to talk...

...about someone who flip flops and that clearly points to one individual. Why haven't I written more about him in the past? Well, not for the reasons you might think—but, without constructing a broad conspiracy theory, I have little to complain of that isn't both ancient history and largely attributable to my own shocking naïveté.

Yes, he was there that day in 2013 and, yes, he smiled and simpered at the diss and deferred to Mr Parlours. That is what I have to complain of. Was he there at my request? No, he was there, I think, because B had recommended that he participate.

OK, so what else? Three things that may amount to nothing very much: 1/ he came onto me like a seductive steam train when I first arrived in 2004; 2/ there's no proof but I often wonder if his behaviour was associated with whatever B had going on about my career (this would be vitally important but only if true); and 3/ the flip flopping was annoying and left me isolated on more than occasion.

The steam train? We were both married in 2004 and he went on a full charm offensive, making it absolutely clear that he wished us to have an affair. He was a member of the Plenary Committee at the time and so, in a sense, I worked for him. I thought he was charming but the situation was perfectly manageable until my son was born in 2006 and my marriage couldn't cope with all the surreal, random, unexpected things that came at it as a result. I didn't sleep with E but in 2007 or 8, after my Ex and I separated, I snogged him quite a bit when I should have been focused more on couples therapy and so forth. Is that a delicate revisionism on my part? No, it's not. I'm not at all proud of anything I did back then but I'm perpetually relieved that it went no further. Frankly, my Ex, for all his faults, deserved better and, moreover, although we remained friends for several years, I lost respect for E as time wore on.

Fun fact (or not): at this time, as I was going through my divorce and everything was falling apart, E offered me £300,000 as a "semi-permanent loan". He was quick to add "no strings attached" but clearly he either intended, or recklessly implied, that a significant imbalance of power, gratitude and obligation would emerge and in the context of his expressing a wish to have an affair... anyway, I demurred. (Slightly more fun fact: I actually have a not inconsiderable backlog of bizarre and eccentric stories with a similarly transactional twist... the City of London is a very, very odd and unreal place indeed.)

OK, the "conspiracy" bit is more complicated and tenuous. The key point, I think, is that in 2009 I was desperate to get away from the think tank, believing I'd done my stint and seeing that there was no future with the old lady in it. I tried to pursue various leads—which I was more or less passionate about--and made a raft of applications but nothing fell into place and someone suggested to me that I should go back to being self-employed. I was a bit ambivalent about that but could see that I needed to develop a marketable skill-set—other than think tankery—so I started to investigate. I was rejected by a couple of places and it was E who eventually facilitated a path into R's outfit. At the time I took that to be a generous and disinterested act on his part. Shortly thereafter, however, when I was already installed at the outfit (I think), E told me that he himself was thinking of joining the Brotherhood and asked me to be a referee. I told him point blank that I was pleased for him, if that's what he wanted and would refer him with pleasure, but could not think of any reason why a sane, free-minded person with a viable income would join the Brotherhood. Unsurprisingly, perhaps, the actual reference request never materialised. Anyway, E not only joined the Brotherhood but in so doing clearly became close to the Duo, such that I saw them together as a kind of clique several times. That is perfectly understandable for plenty of above board reasons—not least that B and E were both on the Plenary Committee—but, well, I have this nagging feeling. That is, the feeling that, if B was meddling with my life choices in some way over the years (and I have multiple TLDR examples of people hinting that he was), then E might have been involved. As I say: Important (and Evil) If True, but quite possibly not true at all.

The flip flopping was a policy thing and, although perfectly legitimate in the grand scheme of human conduct, it was really annoying and quite destructive. Fundamentally, E is incapable of sticking to his guns. That meant that on at least three separate occasions, I relied on his "vote" ("contribution to the majority position") to draw up a policy or procedural recommendation which I then defended to the hilt, as is my wont, only to find out that he had shifted sides—i.e., was offering his vote on, or briefing in support of, a contrary position—and I was the last to know. It all left me quite isolated but this is absolutely just the ordinary cut and thrust of what we all do, it's not what you might call an "HR matter" and it's certainly not illegal. What I will say, however, is that the most damaging occasion, as far as I was concerned, likely involved money, at least at one remove. Having been responsible for clarifying, and signing up to, our thinking on a matter which I shall call "claims", E later chose to get heavily involved with a group run by a leading academic, G, who—as a government employee later told me—was almost certainly taking industry money to oppose our policy position. I should perhaps call it "my" policy position because, by 2017, when DG JustLooking got involved for the second time, I had developed something of a personal expertise and had become a front-person for what was, originally, a group position. (I believed that G's preferred policy reform would lead to more fraud in the market, He would say that it would certainly lead to more liquidity and, ultimately, would facilitate growth.) Anyway, G—who, over the decades, has developed a just astonishing network of policy professionals who are persuaded of his viewpoint on this—pursued many of us with an extraordinary energy in ways that seemed to cut right through all the formal protocols by which think tanks and policy groups are usually expected to operate. The DGJ group, which began with the classic introduction "we've brought Joanna here to change her mind", was an unusually exhausting, confusing and combative experience as a result and, in all the circumstances of my life, that felt like a kind of "last straw".

So that's it. Not much. And that's why you haven't had it in the public domain before but it is, of course, all in my notes.

Incidentally, I did mention to E in 2014 that—re F, AV et al—I had been "thrown to the wolves". He didn't offer to help and I don't know that I expected him to. Had he offered to have a quiet word with someone who could speak to someone who could... etc, on the grounds that it was a derivatives matter, I would have been grateful but I didn't particularly hold it against him that he didn't or couldn't help.

[quotestomakemesmarter]

By Adam Something

Crowd vandalizes self-driving taxi and then sets it on fire in San Francisco - but where is the Left?

I did predict something similar in my video about robotaxis, as they are expensive, upper middle class tech-toys. This would, and seemingly has already made them a prime target for spontaneous public anger.

We live in an era of increasing wealth inequality, with nascent megacorporations controlling an ever-larger share of global wealth flows at the expense of nation states. Case in point, in a few years we'll get to "celebrate" the world's first trillionaire. This imbalance causes the old system of welfare and social democracy to break down, since financing those becomes increasingly difficult.

In simple terms, the money that could have paid for, say, a million citizens' annual pension is now sitting on a billionaire's offshore bank account, out of reach for tax authorities.

Due to this increasing economic pressure, people are not at all satisfied with how things are going, but most political systems around the world have yet to come up with an alternative. Our current choices in most democracies are:

A) more of the same, maybe a bit nicer

B) crazy far-right isolationist populism

As tensions grow, we'll see more and more instances of such spontaneous displays of public anger. Meanwhile, the far-right is going full steam ahead with culture war narratives, and it's proving relatively popular across the democratic world despite offering zero policy solutions. It's a completely vapid, empty, cynical ploy to get people riled up, while offering absolutely no solutions to any of the problems we face, economic or social.

The global far-right can get away with this empty culture war rhetoric and gain popularity with it, because their only real opponents are the centrists, who do not, cannot promise anything new, or fundamentally different. Many people find even the empty culture war narratives preferable to ineffective centrism, which is understandable.

So we have the far-right facing off the centrists, but where is the political Left? They are completely absent from the political landscape, unable to capitalize on public discontent. It feels like, while far-right thought leaders are out there protesting against various human rights loud and proud, torches in hand, leftist thought leaders are instead buried in dusty political scripture published a century and a half ago, in the dark corners of cafes and community centers.

The right is energized: eager, able and willing to spread their ideas of ethnic nationalism, ultraconservatism, the eradication of trans people, and the threat a gender-neutral Mr Potatohead poses to Western Civilization. They will find you, and they will tell you all about it. They scream it from the rooftops. They take meticulous care to remind you at every opportunity that the West™ is falling because of trans rights and brown people, and also because the female M&M mascot is not as sexy now. They. Will. Tell. You.

Meanwhile the left languishes, on two fronts.

Online, the left wallows in their own, perceived sense of superiority. They already figured it all out, they have the Holy Grail, the schematics of the Ultimate System in their hands. If only the stupid normies™ could realize how correct their ideology is, we could solve literally every problem tomorrow! "You want to know how our ideal world would function? Why should WE waste our time to explain? Educate yourself." The fundamental problem with the online left is that they view their own political positions as an achievement, having been smart enough to figure it all out. This turns their ideology into a precious object, something to shelter and cherish, and to put on a pedestal, as opposed to spreading it like wildfire among the populace. The fewer people believe what they believe, the more "valuable" the ideas are. If 8 billion people believed what they believe, many online leftists would lose their sense of self-worth. Their beliefs would no longer be "special". They would just be ordinary, as opposed to their current self-perception of politics-savvy whiz kids who have "figured it all out", as opposed to the stupid libs™ and normies™. Their sense of self-worth is dependent on their ideology remaining a highly esoteric niche held by a select, almost messianic few. This renders them politically irrelevant however.

The other front where the left wallows is actual, real-life political activism. Many leftist organizations, groups, "movements" and the like seem to be stuck in the past, and are often terminally over-professionalized. Their websites are incomprehensible, outdated, filled with esoteric text unintelligible to the average person. Some organize events, most often talks and presentations on high-level leftist socio-economics, attended by the same dozen people for the past decade. They hold valuable and interesting, pro-human political positions, they just have absolutely no ability and/or willingness to popularize them. Thus they remain on the political sidelines, doomed to irrelevance, churning out posts and pamphlets read by the same hundred people who already agree with them.

The only successful left-leaning politicians are social democrats, who live on borrowed time due to the aforementioned economic tendencies. Systemic economic changes are needed, such as economic (workplace) democracy, but social democrats cannot deliver those; their ideology does not entail such systemic changes. If it did, they would be leftists, not social democrats.

And so here we are. The far-right is going full steam ahead with endless, empty culture war narratives. Centrists are standing chest-deep in proverbial water, scoffing at far-fetched rumors about Atlantis sinking into the ocean. Online leftists are preoccupied with maintaining their ouroboros human centipede of a political community on Twitter. Political activist leftists are busy pouring endless time and energy into events and resources no one will ever engage with or care about. Of these four groups, one is gaining increasing popularity: the far right, in lieu of a popular alternative, which the political left refuses to provide.

We live in an era of populism and political polarization. The injustices, inefficacies and contradictions of our current system are about to culminate. A far-right populist wave is upon us, that centrism won't be able to stop. Centrism itself has become obsolete: there is no middle ground between "human rights" and "eradicate trans people", among many others. The chips are about to fall, and when they do, the stronger side wins. We need a popular, populist leftist antithesis to counter the far-right. For that however, the left needs to be made politically relevant again.

So how does one make the left politically relevant? What can an individual do on the left, if they want to see actual political change in their favor? Turns out, lots of things. Here are some of the things I would do in their place:

Mindset change. FORGET words such as "Marx", "Engels", "Lenin", "theory", "bourgeois", and most of everything in that realm. You don't "care" about Marx, Das Kapital, theory, and so on. You don't even know what those are. All you know is, it's strange how workplaces operate like monarchies to this day, and you'd like workers to have more say in how moderate-to-large businesses are run. Also Jeff Bezos needs to be taxed more.

Political engagement. Political parties rarely shift left or right because enough socially awkward people liked a smarmy, passive-aggressive tweet deriding one of their positions. Political parties shift far more often via new people with new ideas joining their ranks, and then spreading those new ideas within. This is partly why the Republican party is shifting to the far-right so quickly: far-right lunatics have infiltrated them over the years, and have become powerful enough to paralyze the old, neoconservative establishment, see the circus surrounding aid to Ukraine. Join a sympathetic, VIABLE political party. Get to know people. Go to events. Take part in speaking events. Introduce your leftist political ideas in a friendly, digestible, agreeable way. Change minds within the party.

Pro level: public speaking. If you do become a member of a political party, sign up for a public speaking course. Read Carnegie's book on the subject. Become a good orator. Most politicians' public speeches are not more than dry monologues that would put a person on cocaine to sleep. Instead, you can become the living triforce of political effectiveness:

1) an effective and entertaining orator, who 2) shares their pro-human, progressive ideas 3) in an agreeable and digestible way.

This is what I would do in the place of the concerned leftist. Additionally, if an angry crowd torched a self-driving taxi, I would be there to condemn the violence, then lament the regrettable influence that such untested, hazardous vehicles have on our cities, resulting in an unsurprising outburst of emotions from locals who want their neighborhood back, living in the shadow of massive corporations and their disproportionate, growing influence, including on our cities.

[the-cat-chat]

October 31, 2022

Barbarian (2022)

A woman staying at an Airbnb discovers that the house she has rented is not what it seems.

Warning: This review contains spoilers. Read at your own risk.

JayBell: One of the greatest things about this movie is their ability to use misdirection to their advantage. They made very particular choices about what they show in the trailer and how they show it. Casting Bill Skarsgard as Keith was also a smart choice. The viewer already comes in with assumptions about what this movie is going to be about, and the movie only encourages those assumptions.

On the surface, the viewer sees Keith (Bill Skarsgard) as a polite, but slightly awkward guy. But because you go in with all those preconceived notions, you’re already suspicious of him. His “too” nice demeanor, the sound design, the lighting, the cinematography, it all encourages the viewer to be suspicious of Keith. The movie loves to trick you, which is what makes it so fun to watch.

The movie is surprisingly funny at times, but not in a way that tries too hard. The actors all did a great job in their roles. I think there is a great balance between giving lore and backstory and letting the viewer put the pieces together.

I also appreciate the attention to Justin Long’s character, AJ. In the beginning, AJ does not view his past actions against a young woman as anything serious. He doesn’t see what he did as a violation, or if he did, he undermined how traumatic a sexual assault can be. Having AJ be violated by The Mother the way he was is a beautiful bit of writing. The movie gave him an effective role reversal and a path to regret. However, this doesn’t magically make him a good person, as shown with his final action against our main character, Tess.

Tess is a truly empathetic character. It’s somehow fitting that her empathy is what gets her in trouble in the first place, but in a way, it’s also what ensures her survival.

All in all, this movie makes it to my list of favorites for this year, and officially, the scariest for this Halloween.

Rating: 8.5/10 cats

Anzie: Wow. Just wow. Wooooooow. Woooow. Wow. wow. Wow. * Insert Owen Wilson “Wow” here * Wow. I have so many thoughts I’m not even sure I can process them. And I feel like my soul and psyche are trying to console one another, but they could never had prepared for what this movie was, and I’ll never recover.

Being banned from looking up anything relating this movie so it was a “surprise” I guess *ahem* (more like whiplash)- and being a good noodle even though it was very hard to be one- I assumed it would just be Bill Skarsgard being his usual creep self mixed in with every woman that’s seen NBC Dateline worst fears about renting out an Air B and B- you know a dash of good old Fresh (2022) vibes mixed with all the creepy videos about secret rooms all over the internet. And I was close, but not, and just like all my guesses in this movie they were right but wrong and then totally wrong- like another UNIVERSE wrong.

And it’s hard to detail the movie- 1st because it’s unbelievably hard to explain the 100 ways it slaps you in the face in a way that does it justice; and 2nd because I would ruin the movie entirely bc the plot twist that Keith is just too nice of a guy is the whoooole enchilada.

I will say I misjudged Keith and I should’ve know better and I’m sorry. And the hair on the baby bottle nipple still has my spine curling. This movie is just soooo creepy in a deep to the bone way. And I don’t know if they should be proud of that fact or ashamed that they somehow taped into our brains to such a deep level—- but anyone should know if you find a secret room in the basement of anywhere- you leave, you leave immediately.

For Halloween- this is it. Forget Blair Witch, forget IT. It’s not terrifying- but it’s terrifying. Sure it’s not supernatural, but aren’t humans scarier anyway?!? This gave me internal organ damage and my skin is crawling just recalling and writing this. Top spooky season watch for sure.

Rating: 8/10 Black Cats 🐈‍⬛

[paradisetemporarilymisplaced]

So I was being a basic bitch the other day and listening to my true crime podcasts when it occurred to me just how suspicious Nile’s “death” would look to everyone not in the Guard, leading me to a train of thought that, 2200 words later, absolutely got away from me but I can’t let go so I’m inflicting it on all of you!

To set the stage, we know the movie takes place over approximately a week. Here’s what happens to Nile from the military’s point of view:

She dies is very seriously injured

She heals without a scratch

Just before she’s supposed to be shipped out to Germany, she vanishes, leaving two men concussed (and presumably reporting being knocked out by a woman with short hair wearing civilian clothes)

She goes AWOL for several days

They get word from the CIA that she is to be reported killed in action (details unclear)

So, at the beginning of this very weird week, the USMC has to tell Nile’s family of her death critical injury. What her family was told depends on how long she was dead – a Google search tells me that family will be notified in person within 8 hours of a soldier’s death, but we don’t know how long her first death lasted. For an injury, however, they’d get a phone call to notify them and the unit would arrange for them to visit as soon as the soldier is transferred out of a combat zone. Like I remember when I was in high school, a guy from my church who was a Marine was really seriously injured in a helicopter crash in Iraq and from what I could tell, his parents were told immediately and were flown out to Germany to see him, so it stands to reason that Nile’s family would have been informed relatively quickly after her throat was slashed, one way or another.

And then, she goes AWOL. Her family would be notified while the USMC tried to figure out where she went, not least because the military would want to know if she’s contacted them. (And it’s possible that her family may have been on the way to Germany to see her since we know that’s where she was supposed to go!) So for several days:

Nile’s mom and brother have no idea where she is

They know she was seriously injured and most certainly should not have been moving around on her own

They can’t get a hold of her

The military can’t tell them anything

And the next thing they know for sure is that she was “killed in action.” After being injured and vanishing into thin air. And they presumably cannot produce her body or any concrete evidence of her death. In any case, something sketchy is going on, so they’re like. SMELLS LIKE A MILITARY COVERUP.

In a surprise to probably no one, there is a well-documented legacy of mysterious US military deaths, particularly of women of color (TW for sexual assault in these links). The cases of LaVena Johnson and Vanessa Guillenin particular have made national news because of their families’ persistence in seeking justice. Likewise, Nile is a Black woman, and her mom and brother are most certainly hypercognizant of (a) state violence against Black people and (b) these high-profile cases of suspicious military deaths. So her family are seriously side-eyeing the situation, knowing that (a) the military has a serious incentive (and a documented history) of covering up things that make them look bad and (b) nothing about Nile’s disappearance and supposed death are adding up.

And Andy’s right. Nile does come from warriors. And you know who else does? Her brother.

Don’t get me wrong. Nile’s mom would absolutely not back down. She’d know something was up and want to get to the bottom of it. But based on what I know about Gen X parents (mine), they’re not the most technologically savvy. Like they can use the internet, but they didn’t grow up with it the way we young millennials and Gen Z did. So Nile’s brother takes the lead. And what do zillennials do best?

Social media.

Nile’s brother starts going hard on any site he can, trying to get the word out to see if anyone knows what happened to his sister. He starts a Reddit thread. He starts a Facebook group. He reaches out to the media and true crime bloggers and podcasters à la Sarah Turney, getting loud and being a general nuisance in hopes of getting some answers. He gets his friends and Nile’s friends involved. Maybe eventually Dizzy, Jay, and others from Nile’s unit hear about it and reach out, telling him what they saw and how weird it all was. He’s drumming up interest, and soon “Nile Freeman” becomes a household name (at least among the true crime fans).

Copley is, of course, trying his best, but at this point there is just so much that it’s impossible for him to scrub everything. Sure, he can erase new footage of Nile and the Guard, but what can he do about Reddit threads and podcast episodes that are speculating something weird has happened? Maybe he could hack the sites and shut those things down, but honestly, that’s the last thing he’d want to do, because that only adds weight to the theory that Nile’s disappearance is a military coverup. So eventually he has to tell Andy what’s going on.

Andy, obviously, does not take the news well. However, she is also completely computer illiterate, because that’s Booker’s job and he’s the only one who ever bothered to learn what the internet is in any meaningful way. (She probably calls Booker for advice, and for the record, I think Booker would have no qualms about shutting down conspiracy threads, tinhats be damned, but Copley is too concerned about the consequences. He’s ex-CIA for crying out loud, he knows how it’ll look if they scrub every mention of Nile’s name from the internet.) Maybe she confers with Joe and Nicky but, let’s be honest, they’d be equally unhelpful. So at this point, she knows they have to bring in Nile.

But the thing about Nile is that she, too, knows how to use the internet (duh). Aside from her being a young millennial/digital native, we know from the cave scene where she’s giving Booker suggestions on how to track Copley that she clearly is even more computer savvy than the average person. And for that reason she almost definitely took over the day-to-day tech stuff after Booker’s exile. So I think it would be foolish to expect her to be unaware of what’s happening. She’s not contacting her family or posting on the message boards or anything, but she knows what’s up. So Copley and the team probably sit her down to “break the news,” but we know the girl does not have a poker face (see: literally shooting herself in the foot and not being able to play it cool whatsoever) and cracks immediately, telling them she’s seen everything about her case – she’s not interacting with any of it, she certainly didn’t instigate anything, but she knows. (And she is so goddamn proud of her brother.)

At this point, I’d like to pause and consider Nile’s role in the overall narrative of this movie. She’s set up as a foil to Andy, obviously, but she’s also a foil to Booker. Booker, who, like Andy, is a serious pessimist, but who, unlike Andy, still has very fresh memories and trauma associated with being the new kid, which have destroyed him. In his mind (and Andy’s), if Nile communicates with her family, she’ll become just like him in a century or two – bitter, alone, and stuck with her grief and memories of watching her family die and knowing they died resenting her. It’s a small sample size, but this is the only experience they have to go off of.

But it doesn’t have to be like that.

There’s been a lot of discussion of TOG being a fundamentally queer movie – a group of people brought together because of something inherent about themselves that is different, that must be hidden, that causes others to hate, fear, and reject them. Booker’s backstory is the archetypal traumatic “coming out” story – his family learns who he is, hate him for it, and attempt to cast him out of their lives. He’s stuck with his trauma, his pain, his loss, and it consumes him.

But what if Nile’s family would be the opposite? What if her “coming out” to them as immortal is met with acceptance, love, celebration? What if her family is just overjoyed to have her back, and they don’t care what the circumstances are? I'm reminded of this incredible post from @shitty-old-guard-deaths a while back, where Nile’s mother hits Booker with a frying pan because “my baby let me believe she was dead for FIVE YEARS based on your bad advice???” (which may or may not have inspired this whole tangent). Nile takes the advice of someone who did the same thing she wants to do because she doesn’t want to risk her family’s rejection. She wants the good memories with her family and is afraid that showing them her true self will bring her unbearable pain, forever replacing those memories. But, with high risk comes high reward.

Anyway. Nile and the team are trying to come up with a plan for how to handle this whole thing, but she’s not really participating because she’s too afraid to hope. Until finally, quickly, so she doesn’t lose her nerve, she suggests she reach out to them, knowing that, realistically, that’s the only solution before things snowball even further out of control. The team is shocked, but realize that she has a point. They decide that Copley should actually be the first point of contact, posing as a US government official to talk with them and test the waters.

So Copley goes to Nile’s family’s house to talk with her mom and brother. They’re probably distrustful and apprehensive, but nonetheless secretly ecstatic that their work has paid off. They talk and review all of the information that they’ve collected, including testimonials from the people on Nile’s base and recent sightings (along with photos) of Nile (with the same three people) over the last few years that people have sent them but they haven’t posted publicly. At this point, Copley’s like, yeah this is about to blow up, we gotta put our cards on the table. He convinces them to come with him to some safe house/black site/whatever he can get that is technologically impenetrable (I’m picturing them in like, an interrogation room at a police station kind of deal), takes their phones, locks the doors, and brings in Nile.

What follows is the most delightful reunion scene of all time, bringing Joe, Nicky, and even Andy to tears as they watch and listen from outside the room. With Copley’s help, Nile tells her mom and brother about her immortality and what’s been going on since she died (within reason, of course), and they are thrilled. They don’t understand why (because no one does) but they don’t question it and they see it as a gift from God – she’s been resurrected, she will live, and she has a purpose. Her mother and brother are so happy to see her again and are willing to agree with pretty much anything to stay in her life as long as they can.

So. They set up some complicated agreement (they bring in the other three for support/intimidation as needed) setting the terms of their relationship. They swear Nile’s family to secrecy, maybe bringing up the lab to show how high the stakes are, and they readily agree. They come up with some cover story for Nile’s brother to share on the message boards (maybe that the government has opened an investigation but because it’s an open case he has to shut it all down? Tells people to direct their tips somewhere else? Something to that effect). There’s still speculation, of course, but without Nile’s brother at the helm providing the energy, the hype dies down as news stories are wont to do without any movement. And Nile’s family goes to work for the team. The experience has taught them that Copley can’t possibly do everything himself, especially when it comes to social media, so Nile’s brother takes the lead on the day-to-day tracking/social media while Copley and her mom focus on finding jobs and scrubbing their traces afterward.

So there you have it: Nile gets to integrate her biological family into her found family and spend the rest of their lives with them as it should be, Copley gets some badly needed help managing the reality of social media, the team finally has a positive narrative surrounding outsiders Knowing About Them AND about interacting with people from their previous life, and the audience gets the happy ending to this very lovely and very queer story to counteract the pain associated with Booker’s family.

Plus, you know, I’m a sucker for both a good government conspiracy theory and for Nile getting every good thing she deserves.

[favefandomimagines]

Illicit Affairs (t.t)

Summary: you’re living a Romeo and Juliet love story and the stakes are just as high.

@gillybear17 can you do an imagine where the reader is a Pogue and secretly dating topper. Their friends don’t know they’re together and catch them making out at a bone fire

Had to add some angst in here cause why not. I also changed it from a bonfire to Midsummers, I feel like the scandal of the two being caught together at a big Kook event would be HUGE

Warning: mentions of social anxiety and anxiety attacks

Secret relationships were always so cliche and a bit melodramatic for your taste. Why was it so hard for two people to openly be together and be proud of it?

But continuing to believe that would make you the biggest hypocrite. You yourself were in a secret, rather scandalous relationship with Topper Thornton.

You still don’t quite know how it happened, one day he was just there. Somehow you convinced Sarah to take you to a party that some of her Kook friends were throwing.

Why she invited you and not Kiara was still unknown. Pogues weren’t exactly welcome on Figure 8 and that led you to standing awkwardly in the living room of some random persons house.

If you were being honest, parties where you knew absolutely no one made you rather anxious. At Boneyard parties, that was your turf, with your friends. It was comfort zone and that Kook party was definitely the opposite of the Boneyard.

Sarah was nowhere to be found and all the looks you were getting wasn’t helping the tight feeling in your chest. Setting your cup down, you weaved your way through the crowd towards the back door.

You leaned against the balcony railing and tried to slow down your shallow breathing.

“Y/N right?” You heard someone ask. You turned around and saw Topper standing behind you. “Uh, yeah, yeah that’s me.” You stammered. “Are you okay?” He questioned. “Yeah, I’m okay. Large crowds, not knowing anyone, sometimes makes it hard to breathe.” You answered, trying to catch your breath.

“Hey, hey, just take some deep breaths. You’re out here with just me, no big crowds here.” Topper told you. You did as he told you and soon your breathing evened out. “How did you know how to do that?” You asked. “I used to get anxiety attacks when I was younger. My mom didn’t want her 13 year old on Xanax so she sent me to therapy.” He explained.

You gave him a curious look, wondering why Topper Thornton was being so nice to you. “I appreciate your help but why are you being so nice to me?” You questioned. “Look, after all of that shit went down with Sarah and John B, I learned he’s not such a bad guy. I was the bad guy and I’m trying to fix that.” He explained.

“Very self-reflective of you.” You commented. “Do you think you’ll be okay? I can find Sarah for you.” Topper suggested. “It’s okay. I’m probably just gonna head to Kie’s and ask her for a ride home.” You said. “I can give you a ride. This party kind of sucks anyways.” He offered.

You were hesitant for a moment. This was Topper Thornton you were talking too. He’s not known to be the nicest guy but he all of a sudden has a change of perspective.

“Sure. Why not?” You finally said.

The party was close to a year ago and you had kept your relationship private ever since. No one knew about the two of you and that’s how you both wanted it for a while.

Things were always complicated on the Outer Banks and you didn’t want it to affect you and Topper.

Midsummers was approaching and Kie asked you to come with her to the event. She loves Sarah but she really needed her best friend with her.

“So, I’m going to Midsummers with Kie.” You told Topper as the two of you were laying in your bed. Your parents were out of town for their anniversary after saving for months.

“Oh really? I thought you hated Midsummers.” Topper said. “I do. But I’m doing this for Kie and that means I can keep an eye on you.” You teased. “Oh like I’m going to get into trouble at Midsummers. My mother would drop dead if I did anything to embarrass her.” He replied. “Like dating a Pogue.” You commented. “Y/N,” Topper started. “I know, I know. We agreed to keep us a secret because of how our friends would react. But you have to admit that it would be nice to actually go somewhere together. I can’t help but think that you’re ashamed of me because I live on the Cut.” You spoke.

Topper sat up and pulled you up with him, taking his hands in yours. “I’m not ashamed of you, Y/N. I love you, you know that. I don’t want anyone around me to make you think that you’re lesser than them. I just want to protect you from that.” He said. “I’m sorry.” You said. “Don’t be sorry. Never be sorry. Hopefully, we’ll be able to go out and I can show you off soon.” Topper told you.

You smiled at him before leaning forward and kissing him lightly.

—

Midsummers was the biggest Figure 8 event for as long as you could remember. You were never invited and when you did attend, you were working. This year your were attending as a guest of the Carrera family. It was weird walking into the event in a floor length, pink, satin dress. Kie’s mom bought her multiple dresses and whichever one she didn’t like she was going to give to you.

“You look great. Stop fidgeting so much.” Kie whispered to you. “I feel like a moron.” You muttered. “Then we can both feel like morons together. I’m going to sneak us some drinks. JJ’s a waiter this year.” She told you before walking off.

You sighed to yourself as you looked around at all the party guests. Subconsciously you were scanning the room for Topper, no doubt he was with Rafe and Kelce. And that’s exactly who he was with and all three of them standing at the top of the stairs to the country club conversing amongst themselves.

Topper spotted you first before you saw him. He thought you looked absolutely breathtaking. Of course he thought that every time he saw you but seeing you in that dress with your hair all curled, that was different. Topper began getting flustered as he watched y, wanting nothing more than to just walk over to you and kiss you in front of everyone.

Let everyone know that you were his. You finally made eye contact with him and he gestured for you to follow him. With furrowed brows, you followed after him and into the building. You turned a corridor and felt someone grab your arm. “What is going on?” You asked. “You look beautiful, do you know that?” Topper said. “Well, Kie told me a couple of times.” You said bashfully. “Kie is definitely right on that one.” He told you.

“Rafe and Kelce could be wondering where you are.” You said. “And Kie might be wondering where you are.” Topper. “But we don’t really care do we?” You asked. “Absolutely not.” He answered. “I love you.” You whispered. “I love you too.” Topper whispered back before pressing his lips against yours. You were taken aback at first but reciprocated quickly.

Topper’s hands were on your waist, yours placed on his shoulders. It wasn’t ideal nor appropriate to have a full blown make out session in the middle of Midsummers but it’s what the two of you decided to do you.

“Wait, wait,” You started, pulling away from him. “Are we really making out at Midsummers?” You asked. “Yeah and what’s so bad about that?” Topper questioned, leaning in again. “Let’s just, tell people about us. I’m tired of feeling like a secret.” You said.

“Too late.” You heard a voice say. You both whipped your heads in that direction and saw Kie and Sarah standing there. “Seriously? You two are dating?” Kie asked. “It’s a long story, but he makes me happy and he’s different now.” You said. “I’m not the same guy I was before.” Topper added.

The two girls looked at each other before looking back at you. Your mood had changed drastically over the past year and no one knew why. You actually enjoyed doing crazy, spontaneous things and they didn’t know it was because Topper was like an anchor.

And they couldn’t stand in the way of their best friend being happy.

“If you hurt her, you won’t have to worry about JJ because I’ll kill you myself.” Sarah said. “I don’t plan on it.” Topper said. “Then tell people about the two of you.” Kie suggested before they walked away.

“So? What do you say? You know I love being dramatic, let’s just walk out there together.” You said. Topper thought for a moment, only beginning to imagine what his mom would say. But in that moment he didn’t really care because he had you. The girl of is dreams wanting to actually be with him and no amount of lectures from his mother could pull him down from that bliss.

“Okay. Let’s do it.” He said. You smiled up at him as he intertwined his hand with yours and walked with you out to the lawn. Topper escorted you to the dance floor where the band was playing a slow song and began dancing with you. You hear the whispers, see the stares. See JJ attempt to approach you but Kie holding him back. You could see Topper’s mother shooting daggers in his direction.

Topper could feel that you were beginning to feel a bit uncomfortable so he tightened his grasp on you as a form of comfort. “Hey, just look at me. After all you said you liked to be dramatic.” He teased. You smiled before kissing him gently. “I love you.” Topper whispered. “I love you more.” You said back. “Hm, we‘ll see about that.” He replied.

Though announcing your relationship at Midsummer was very unconventional and rumors were starting to spread like wildfire, you didn’t care. You had Topper and your friends accepted it and at the end of the day, that’s all you really wanted.

[elnotwoods]

You don’t go out in a field very often, right?   You’re being so shy.

Is it so difficult to be a super disciplined cop?

No.  Being a cop has always been my dream since I was a kid.

Is your dream as beautiful today as it was then?

Hey! Hold that pose. And hold that feeling. Can you straighten your right leg a bit?

Hands together. Hold that, please. What’s wrong?

I just feel like I’m confessing my sins.

I did something wrong before. But I can’t go back and fix it again. I tried to reclaim justice but I failed. In the end, I could do nothing.

It’s done. Do you want to see it?

I like it.

This is not the final, just the sketch. I need to redraw and color it. Just wait to see the final version.

It’s okay. It’s in the past.

You did great.

You’ll be fine.

This scene is, undeniably, one of the best scenes of this show. Few will top this, if any. The inherent intimacy, softness of it, the raw emotion that comes to the forefront once Dan strips. This could have been a very basic scene - sexually charged, filled with want, lust. Instead we got something so genuine, that it actually made me sit down and think about it for hours.  

I have tried to come up with how Dan is tied to the plot - because him just being an underground artist and a cop doesn’t feel… enough? I have the feeling that Dan is much more entangled in the conflicts and problems the gang is facing than initially thought. The first trailer for Not me made us think that maybe Dan is the reason why Black ends up in the hospital, but after today I have a different theory. Thanks to this scene in which Dan reveals his soul.

“I just feel like I’m confessing my sins.  I did something wrong before. But I can’t go back and fix it again.”

We know that Sean’s father has been shot while resisting arrest. We don’t know how long ago it was, but I think it’s safe to say it must have been like 4-8 years ago? Somewhere in that time frame. We don’t really know much about Dan yet, how old he is or how long he’s been a police officer. He is a lieutenant though, that doesn’t happen overnight. That’s why I have a feeling that maybe he was one of the arresting officers in Sean’s fathers case. He carries a burden from the past, a grave mistake he can’t undo, can’t fix. Something like bringing someone back to life….

“Being a cop has always been a dream since I was a kid.”

“Is your dream as beautiful today as it was then?”

Dan must have dreamed of a world he could change, a world he could make better, of helping people and serving them. Protecting them. And his dream must have crumbled in front of him when he saw the reality of the world he lived in, the brutality happening on the job, when he saw the way people lived and starved and existed in their own misery. And what if he accidentally killed someone on the job? Or if he was told by an older officer while arresting Sean’s father that he should shoot the moment the whole thing goes south, consequences be damned. That would leave a mark. Something Dan can’t shake, can’t change.

So how can he go on? Continue on the force? How can he make his 5 year old self proud?

What he cannot change as a police officer he ends up highlighting as UNAR. He points the masses towards these issues he would like to help solve as a cop but he cannot. Because the force itself is corrupt and he himself is now tainted by this too. So the only way to honour his younger self’s dream is to create this other persona and express through art what he cannot do as a cop. Cause that’s the only way he can still continue honouring his dream.

To express this whole inner dilemma, this torture and shame, this burden Dan carries with himself through art and being immortalised in his current state of being?

Only for Yok to tell him this:

This is not the final, just the sketch. I need to redraw and color it. Just wait to see the final version.

To me it says: You are not your biggest mistake, you are not only the bad things that happened to you or the bad things you have done. It shapes you, it will leave a permanent mark but as time goes on you can do better. You can atone for your sins and you are still good. You might not see it yet, but once you get older and look back at this past version of yourself, you will see it for what it is, was: merely a foundation for you to grown into the person you were supposed to be.

Because right now, you are not the final version of yourself. Like this artwork, you too will evolve and change. Be better. Don’t lose hope yet. Cause I can already see it.

[hermits-that-craft]

Homebound - Deya’s childinnit au

This oneshot is for the amazing @deyageka ‘s hotel arc childinnit au! Go check it out, please! This is long, 8 page or 2,641 words, long, please note!

Sam walked home that day, humming to himself. Really, he wasn’t going home per say - just to the small house that Puffy, Foolish and himself had built after they found Tommy. Sam was calm as he could be, he walked instead of using his trident in an attempt to calm himself down after how long the day was. Dream has pulled at his strings early in the morning, and Ranboo sent him on a wild goose chase the second he left the prison. 

Sam hoped that Ranboo’s alright, his message didn’t sound right, even in chat. Why would Ranboo need a totem?

Sam walked into the house, and felt mounting dread as lights didn’t turn on. They should have already been on, the only reason why they would be off is if Puffy had taken Tommy out, but she had sent him a message asking him to come home as soon as possible. They weren’t in danger, she had said, Tommy had just wanted him back.

“I’m back!” Sam called. He smiled as he hoped that the pair were just napping as he shut the door.

False hope can only last so long.

“Puffy!” He screamed, looking at the woman as she lied on the floor. Blood ran down her face, unconscious. Almost like she was dead.

Sam doesn’t remember much of what happened next. Of course, he knows what happened. 

Dream escaped, stealing Tommy. At least, thats the basics. He knows Ranboo was there, he knows that Ranboo was - is - possessed. He knows that Tommy woke up as he was teleported away. He knows that some of the toys that Tommy had were taken.

He knows that Puffy hasn’t woken up yet, even though it’s been three days.

Phil and Techno came around, Techno helping Sam track down Dream and the boys. Tubbo moved Micheal into Sam’s base, hoping that it would be safer. Quackity, Karl, Sapnap and George also joined the search party. The groups split up, scouring the land. Tubbo joins, looking through places he knows Ranboo frequents.

Sam has been banned from searching after Phil found him, half dead, in the snow. 

Ponk helps him heal, but it isn’t enough. Sam can’t - won’t, he’s too much of a coward - voice why he won’t rest. It’s his fault that Tommy’s gone. It’s his fault that Dream got out. He is - was - Tommy’s father, and his was - is - the warden. He failed his jobs. He let not only Tommy, but the entire server down by letting Dream out.

Dream was right, Sam can’t protect anyone, let alone Tommy.  This is his fault.

“Hey, Sam.” Ponk says softly, carrying in some warm soup. “You up to eat now? I’ll eat some too, it can be a real date.”

There’s kindness in Ponk’s eyes, love and sympathy and caring in the brown eyes. Sam doesn’t deserve it. Sam’s hurt too many people, Ponk shouldn’t-

“You’re thinking too hard.” Ponk smiles, handing Sam the soup. “Stop blaming yourself for Tommy’s kidnapping. You couldn’t have known.”

“He’s gone because my prison failed.” Sam whispers. “I failed everyone. I was supposed to be the warden, I was supposed to protect-”

Sam breaks, sobbing. He can’t keep being strong, he can’t keep up this facade. It’s dragging him down, pulling him under the water. Vines wrap around his throat, squeezing the life out of him. The void would be a kinder death, he’s falling apart and-

And Ponk wraps his arms around Sam, letting the creeper hybrid sob into his arms. He holds Sam together, as the world falls apart.

----

“Tommy, settle down.” Dream rolls his eye, not that Tommy can see under his mask. The child is still annoying, but he follows orders easily.

“I want Papa.” Tommy protests, clinging to the Sam Nook toy that Ranboo had stolen for him when Dream took him. “Where’s my Papa.”

“I’m right here.” Dream says, cooing at the child.

“No you’re not.” Tommy glares, tears forming in his tiny eyes. “I want my Papa and Big Q and Karl and Foo’ish and Mama Puff and Sap and George!”

George.

“Do you like George?” Dream asks quietly, shock filling his chest. He could have George back, his best friend.

“Yeah! He reads to me and is safe.” Tommy smiles, tapping the Sam Nook toy around. “Makes me sleepy, though.”

“How would you feel if I asked George to come around?” Dream offers, taking out his communicator.

“Will he?” Tommy looks up, happily. 

“I’m sure he’d love to.” Dream says, and Tommy cheers, throwing Sam Nook to the side as he gives Dream a hug. “But now you need to go to bed.”

Tommy whines, but doesn’t struggle as Dream picks him up. The small child - only two or three years old at most - yawns, snuggling in to sleep as Dream places him in the bed. Dream smiles from under his mask, shutting the door slightly as he leaves. Dream walks down the stairs, watching through the door as Ranboo tidies up the living room. 

Dream whispers to Georgenotfound: Would you like to come around, I haven’t seen you since I left prison. Dream whispers to Georgenotfound: You can bring Sapnap as well, I guess. But I’d like to catch up with you - and tommy’s missing you i guess :/ Georgenotfound whispers to Dream: What are your co’ords? I’ll come now. We can bring Sapnap once he’s calmed down.

Dream smiles, sending through the coordinates without a second thought. Of course George would agree to come around. George is his best friend, he’s Dreams other half. George - and Puffy, a traitorous part of his brain whispers - would do anything for him.

Ranboo stops cleaning for a moment, looking up the stairs. Dream frowns, following his line of sight. No one is there, but he notices the small sobs that emit from the higher floor. Tommy. The child must be crying, maybe a nightmare. He’s too young to remember L’Manburg, the disks or the wars. He only remembers some people, after all.

Sam is one of them. Tubbo was not. A child's mind is a strange place.

Dream walks up the stairs, pausing outside Tommy’s room. He knocks before he enters, warning the boy. Dream turns on the light, not knowing what to expect. 

Tommy sits up in his bed, his eyes screwed shut as he sobs. Tommy hugs Sam Nook close, but no words fall from his lips. Dream sighs, scooping the boy up and gently rocking him. Tommy blinks his eyes open before he screws them shut, crying again. Dream frowns, sinking to the ground as he tries to settle the boy.

“Please stop crying.” Dream mumbles, rocking Tommy. He’s so small, so fragile. Dream can feel every shake of Tommy’s tine body as the child cries himself back to sleep. 

Dream sets the boy back into bed, tucking him in gently. He’ll wait with the boy until Ranboo is done, and then he’ll go to greet George.

----

“Dream sent me a message.” George says, casually leaning against the doorframe. “I have his coordinates.”

“I’m sorry, what?” Eret gasps, covering their mouth. Bad and Phil stand up, looking over George with carefully concealed confusion. “How long ago did you receive the message?”

“About fifteen minutes?” George frowns, checking the time. “Yeah, around fifteen minutes ago.”

“And you didn’t tell us until now?” Techno glares, an axe summoned into his hand.

“I couldn’t find you until now. Are you guys coming or what?”

“Have you told anyone else?” Phil asks, pulling his wings out of his cloak.

“Quackity, Karl and Sapnap are halfway there.” George says, walking towards the coordinates.

“Sam?”

“Doesn’t need the stress.” George says. “He’s too sick.”

“What’s the plan?” Bad asks quietly.

“Karl, Sapnap and Quackity stake the house out from a distance. I go in, distract Dream and Ranboo, and then grab Tommy and run.” George says.

“Where do we come in?” Techno asks.

“I dunno, we didn’t think that far ahead.” George shrugs. “Work it out when we get there.”

And with that, they walk.

----

Dream stands in the kitchen, watching the kettle boil as he waits for George to arrive. He’s boiled the kettle twice so far, waiting for his friend, but he doesn’t want the water to go cold before George can have some tea.

A knock sounds at the door, and Dream cautiously walks over, opening it. White clout glasses and brown hair appears, and Dream relaxes, opening his arms for a hug. George hesitates for a split second before he sinks into the hug. Dream doesn’t - wont - think about it. The hesitation.

“Hey.” Dream breaths, and George smiles. 

“Hey yourself. How are you?”

“Good. I’m a father now.” Dream smirks, and George pulls out from the hug. “Do you want some tea?”

“The gosip type or the good type?” George jokes, and Dream steps aside, showing George the kitchen bench, where two cups are laid.

“Guess.”

----

“Why did George hug him?” Techno whispers to Eret.

“They’re best friends, he’s keeping up the persona.” Eret replies. “Letting Dream’s guard down.”

“Will it work?”

“Well, we won’t know unless George either gets Tommy.” 

“Or he starts screaming.” Phil says darkly, his wings fluttering nervously behind him.

“Dream wouldn’t-” Bad shakes his head. “No, this Dream isn’t the same one who played with Sapnap as a kid. Dream would hurt George, wouldn’t he?”

----

“Is Tommy sleeping alright?” George asks, trying to sound casual. “Sam used to complain that he’d only ever sleep peacefully if I was there.”

It’s a lie, but George and Sam had both noticed that Tommy would sleep easily in George’s arms. Nightmares would still happen, but Tommy would calm down faster.

“He’s been having so many nightmares.” Dream admits. “He also cries a lot, even during the day. I think he needs you around. Familiar faces and all that.”

“What about Ranboo?” George asks, curiosity getting the better of him.

“Ranboo hasn’t been Ranboo since I escaped.” George can hear the self centered smirk in his voice, the proud lilt of admitting that he’s controlling the teen. “I think Tommy can tell that. It doesn’t seem to bother him all that much, he’s seen my face and isn’t scared.”

George’s stomach drops at that, fear lacing his insides. There’s a reason Dream wears the mask. He doesn’t look safe to be around, he looks like if the void had a neon green eye and a glowing, neon green hole gaping where his mouth and nose should be. But George knows better than to mention that, only raising his eyebrows with surprise.

“I would have thought that would make him cry.” George jokes, lightly elbowing Dream. “Is he sleeping?”

“I hope so, do you want to check?” Dream cocks his head to the side, not too unlike a puppy. George nods, and let’s Dream walk him up the stairs. 

Now’s his chance.

---

Sapnap nervously paces, the treeline hiding him from Dream’s watchful gaze. He’s far enough away to see everything, but not be able to hear anything. It’s safer this way, watching from a distance. Karl and Quackity won’t get hurt if he’s caught, this way. He doesn’t trust the silence, and from the nervous looks on his fiancees’ faces, they don’t like not being able to hear either.

An ear piercing scream tears the silence in half as Karl makes eye contact with Sapnap.

“GEORGE!” Sapnap screams, running towards the house. Snow melts under his feet, he can’t contain his anger. “George!”

Sapnap slams open the door to the house, his hand melting the door handle. George lays on the ground, his glasses under Dream’s foot. Blood. There’s so much blood. Too much blood. George is curled around Tommy, who wails at the top of his lungs. George isn’t moving. Why isn’t George moving? Why isn’t he struggling.

Duck.

Ranboo’s punch misses.

Sweep your opponents leg out from under them.

Ranboo falls to the ground, his head cracking painfully.

Keep your eyes on the room.

Blood pools under Ranboo’s head. Dream laughs.

Don’t let your guard down.

“Did you really think that George could take Tommy from me?”

Don’t let your opponent see any fear.

“I trusted you both. You’re my friends. I can’t believe you would betray me like this.”

Focus on the fight.

“I thought you cared about me, all I wanted was for us to be a family again.”

Dream stands on George, and Sapnap can hear the pained weaze that George breaths out. He’s still alive.

“Eyes on me, Snapnap.” Dream taunts, and Sapnap’s eyes jump back to his once-best friend. “You’ve got to work on that.”

Don’t make the first move.

“Not going to talk to me?”

Go on the defensive.

“That’s rude.”

Duck.

“Let’s dance.”

Duck. Sidestep. Block. Jab. Punch. Duck. Owch, was that his eye? Duck again, keep focusing. Get to the door. Duck. Open the door. Punch. Step outside. Block. Run backwards. Duck. Throw a punch

Sapnap is thrown through the air, landing with a scream on the ground. Snow melts around him, and he lets out a gasp of pain. There’s blood underneath him, staining the snow red. It’s pretty, almost.

Sapnap can see Phil and Techno fight Dream, out of the corners of his eyes. Eret and Bad run into the house, carrying out Ranboo, Tommy and George. They’re safe. Everyone is safe now. Sapnap did good.

“Stay awake Sap.” Karl says, and Sapnap forces his eyes open - when did they close - to see his fiancee’s. Quackity cradles his head in his lap, and Karl fumbles with his pockets. “Keep your eyes open, yeah, that’s good. Keep it up.”

Sapnap groans as Karl pours a healing potion directly onto his torso. It wont help much, there’s something in his back, but he can’t speak. It hurts too much.

“Open your eyes.” Quackity says, and Sapnap feels warm fingers on his cheek. “Open your eyes. BAD! BAD SAPNAP’S-”

----

Sam watches out the window of his room as birds flit around tree branches. Ponk had left the room half an hour ago, just after he served breakfast. Ponk hadn’t said much, simply kissing Sam’s forehead and telling him to relax.

Sam can’t relax. He shouldn’t be allowed to, pneumonia or not. Not while Puffy suffers, while Tommy suffers. 

“Hey Dad.” Quackity’s voice doesn’t surprise Sam, who sees his son every morning.

“Hey duckling.” Sam smiles. “How are you this morning?”

“Good. Sapnap and George are in a bad shape though. Bad kicked me out of their rooms.” Quackity laughs wetly, tears in his eyes. 

“I’m sorry to hear that.” Sam says, opening his arms out for Quackity. The man smiles, but shakes his head, wiping away tears. 

“There’s something you need to see.” Quackity says, and apparently thats a cue for something, because Jack opens the door to his room.

Niki wheels Puffy into the room, the woman sitting on a wheelchair, her hair falling down over her shoulders. She’s still got a bandage on her head, but there is colour in her cheeks and a knowing smile on her face.

“Puffy.” Sam gasps, happy to see his friend better, if not up and running. Sam tries to stand, to give Puffy a hug, but Quackity just pushes him back into his bed.

“If you’re that happy to see me, you’ll need someone to hold you back with who Foolish has.” Puffy jokes, though her voice is hoarse.

Foolish walks into the room, gently holding a wiggling Tommy. Sam gasps, and true to Puffy’s prediction, it takes Quackity and Jack to stop Sam from getting out of his hospital bed. Foolish passes Tommy to Sam, and the man holds onto Tommy gently, still trying to wrap his head around the fact that he’s here. He’s safe, finally.

“How-”

“We’ll explain later.” Quackity says. “Just relax for now. Everyone is safe.”

[manonblaqkbeak]

Dating and Goodreads

Back for Day 8-Blind date (how the hell do u guys come up with good title fics i struggle so bad lol). I wasn’t really going anywhere with this one, but when i read all of the others and saw how fun the fics were, i decided to finish this one.

also for Summertime and Fresh Strawberries, I deliberately left it blank but I can’t hold onto the secret bc two people were curious as to what happened, so i’ll let the rest of you know that aelin and rowan decided to keep summer and be a cute little family, bc im a sucker for happy endings lol (unless its angst, it’s safe to assume that all my rowaelin fics have happy endings bc they’ve all ready been thru so much and even in alt fics i need them to be happy lmao)

anyway, on to the next one. hope you enjoy!

1.8k words

cw: none

Aelin was a confident woman, something that she was proud of. But that didn't mean that there weren't times she didn't feel self-conscious or awkward and full of doubt.

Because right now, all those negative feelings were swimming inside of her.

And those feelings were just magnified today, especially since she had gotten fired only a few hours beforehand. It was utterly unexpected, she had never received any prior warnings, and while she was a fighter, Aelin didn't feel like stepping into the ring for this one. Not when her boss was a demon from hell that made life unbearable and she had to physically push herself into entering the work building.

Aelin told herself that it was for the best. She was miserable there and hated working in an office typing up the worlds most boring reports and working in a space that was entirely too drab.

But she wasn't looking forward to job hunting. Aelin was aware that she could ask her friends for favours, but if Aelin did something wrong, she didn't want it reflected back onto whoever helped her.

And she was still a little peeved over the damned argument she had online again with that haughty prick on Goodreads. Aelin wasn't sure why those arguments kept going, but each time she would post a review, White Tailed Hawk would respond, telling her that she read the book wrong and this and that and blah blah blah.

Aelin repaid the favour each time, telling him how he was wrong and he had no reading comprehension skills. And on and on it went until Aelin or whoever the fuck that guy was went back to their own lives.

Depressingly, it was the most fun she had some days.

Shaking her head, Aelin forced herself to think of the now and not of her shitty day. Still she sighed, not quite believing that she had agreed to this blind date. Couldn't believe that she had let Aedion convince her it was a good idea.

Aelin had said no at first, after Aedion had voiced his offer, and her cousin left it at that. But days went past, and he would bring up the topic of Rowan, about the things he had said that day, how his dry sense of humour took some time to get used to but once you figured it out, he was actually pretty funny, how he had finished a project perfectly and this and that.

But it got to her, annoyingly. So the other day when he was helping her out with some housework that was a two person job, Aelin told him to set up this date. Aedion cheered as if it was the best thing he had ever heard, telling her how she and Rowan were the perfect match for each other.

Aelin rolled her eyes, but didn't say anything of the assessment.

She had only agreed because it was getting frustrating being asked at every family event if she was dating someone, when she was going to give her parents grandchildren (that question pissed her off the most, as if Aelin was nothing but a birthing machine and that was all Aelin could contribute to society), and who was going to look after her when she was old if she didn't have children (because apparently carers didn't exist).

Aelin was also lonely—she could entertain herself just fine, but she did like the idea of coming home and talking to someone that could respond. She loved Fleetfoot and her enthusiasm when Aelin came home, but human companionship would be nice.

But Aelin didn't have high-hopes for this date because the universe liked to kick Aelin's ass from time to time, she suspected that they were going to hate each other.

Taking a deep breath, Aelin got out of her car, smoothed down her romper and went inside the restaurant, head held high.

X X X X X X

Rowan couldn't believe that he was about to go on a blind date. That Aedion had convinced him to go out with his younger cousin. He hadn't dated anyone since Lyria and he knew that his dating skills were going to be rusty as hell. He had been with Lyria since they were nineteen, married at 23 and divorced at 31; he had been single for the last two years.

It had been...fine, a little strange, after being with someone for so long to find himself a bachelor. Rowan never thought that he would apart from Lyria, but their relationship had just faded. Long before the divorce, it had been more like a housemate relationship than a marriage. He wasn't surprised when his ex-wife had come home after work with divorce papers. He had only stared at the paperwork for an hour before he signed the forms. Truthfully, Rowan was just glad that he was still on good terms with Lyria, that they could still talk to one another from time to time.

Rowan had almost called her earlier today, to ask how the hell dates went, but felt that it would have been crossing some invisible line, so he didn't call and instead had Googled the questions instead.

They didn't really help.

Rowan drummed his fingers against the steering wheel, telling himself that if things went wrong, then it wasn't the end of the world. That if he had to be a bachelor for the rest of his life, then that was fine. He had plenty of ways of keeping himself busy—he had a good career, a nice house, plenty of books to read and to argue online about them with.

He had one earlier today, actually, with Queen of Wildfire about a new release that Rowan had eagerly read within days of its release. And once again, he ended up with an argument with the woman about the messages and themes within the book.

It was stupid, he knew, to be at his age and to be fighting online with a stranger, but something about this woman just had his fingers flying over the keyboard.

Some days he looked forward to it, as embarrassing as that was to admit. He didn't really want to look into himself to figure out what it all meant.

Eyes drifting to the dashboard, Rowan realised that his date was about to start. Popping a mint into his mouth and smoothing out his clothes, Rowan took a deep breath and left the car and went to his first date in twelve years.

Hopefully, it wouldn't be too bad.

X X X X X X

The date had started out a little awkward, but that wasn't a surprise to Aelin, because what blind date started smoothly?

It picked up after Rowan admitted that he was divorced and that he had no idea what the hell he was supposed to do. Aelin appreciated that stark honesty and admitted that she too had no idea what to do.

Since then, the conversation went well, the food was good and Aelin had even swiped a few bites of his dinner because it just looked so much better than hers. Rowan had playfully grumbled underneath his breath, but smiled as he said it.

It was going really well. Maybe the universe had decided to give her a break for the rest of this evening. There was a part of her that maybe wondered if they would have sex, because the man did look fucking fantastic, but at the same time, she didn't want to rush anything in case this actually turned into something more.

“What's the dumbest thing that you've done recently or in the past?” Aelin asked. There was no such thing as small talk between them—Aelin had all ready asked if he believed in aliens and was glad when he said yes, because “it's ridiculous to think that we're alone in this wide universe of ours. It makes sense that there'd be other lifeforms out there.” Which was pretty damned close to Aelin's reasoning as well, so asking him about stupid moments felt like nothing in comparison.

Rowan smirked at the question and took a moment to think before answering. “I engage in online arguments.”

“Really? About what, exactly?”

“It's stupid. But my all my arguments occur on Goodreads of all places. Not Facebook, or YouTube, or Twitter, but Goodreads. It's never anything insulting but just arguments about how wrong some people's in depth reviews are.”

“Fair enough,” Aelin said, “I've been known to do the same thing as you. There's this one user on there, White Tailed Hawk—a stupid name if you ask me—and he just never...” Aelin stopped when she noticed that he stopped eating and was just looking at her weirdly. “Rowan? Are you okay?”

“Do you, by any chance, go under the name of Queen of Wildfire?”

Aelin blinked, and then blinked again, and once the pieces fell into place, she knew right then and there that the universe really hated her. She let out a harsh laugh, the sound echoing throughout the space. Aelin wasn't really sure what to say, because it was true what he said; it had never been insulting, but ending up on a date with the man she had regularly arguments with was just...she had no words, other then, “It really is a stupid name.” She took a sip of her wine, needing to do something other than wanting to bang her head against the table.

“I couldn't think of anything else to write.” And it wasn't also his favourite animal, he had told her that earlier.

They lapsed back into the awkward silence of earlier, both picking at their food.

But Aelin didn't want this night to go to waste. “It'd be stupid to let something as small as this get in the way of whatever this could be,” Aelin said, deciding to be blunt.

Rowan nodded. “It would be. Although I have to be honest, you really have no idea what you're talking about when it comes to Call of the Wild Winds.”

Aelin just about stormed off when she noticed his playful smile, his eyes sparkling bright. Laughing, Aelin threw a bread-roll at his handsome face, and once he caught it and split it in half for them to share, they went back to their earlier conversation.

And when Rowan walked her to her apartment door and kissed her on the cheek goodnight with a promise to text her later, Aelin couldn't help herself by telling him that all his opinions sucked and that he had no idea what he was talking about—all with a big smile on her face as Rowan sputtered as she closed the door on his face.

They spent the rest of the night texting, and all of Aelin's earlier woes faded away. And she looked forward to tomorrow, despite the horror of job hunting. Maybe the universe will finally let things turn around for the better for her.

Aelin went to sleep with a smile on her face, all because of White Tailed Hawk.

And on the other side of the city, Rowan also fell asleep with a smile on his face.