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tragedybunny · 6 months

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Slow Dancing In a Burning Room - Chapter 2

༺Summary༻

In a moment of weakness, Serafina helped Astarion ascend, forever altering him and their relationship. Irrevocably bonded in violence, can she survive life at his side, or will she be broken by the cycle of pain and terror.

༺Pairing༻ Astarion x Serafina (Female Tav)

༺Warnings༻ Dubcon / Noncon elements , violence, toxic / abusive relationships

༺Word Count༻ 2047

༺Masterlist༻

༺A/N༻ The consent is very much dubious here below, to reiterate the warning. It has been a bit of a treat to write Astarion being his worst self. I will have to take fluff breaks, so if you follow my other stuff, don't despair, more fluff will come. Thanks to @themadlu for the beta on this chapter read on AO3

꧁༺Chapter 2 - First, Thou Shall Obey Me as Thou Lovest Me ༻꧂

༺ In which Serafina learns the first of Astarion's "rules" for her existence.༻

Astarion did not set rules for her the way Cazador and Vellioth had for their Spawn. His rules were implied, unspoken commands that she would learn through trial and error.

“Sera,” his voice was singsong, playful in a way she knew was dangerous. “Wake up, little love,” he called, from where he lay, on his side, behind her.

Sleep was starting to release its grip on her when she felt the press of him at her entrance from behind. Then, he was plunging in, her struggling to accommodate him. A sound between a moan and a yelp escaped her as a hand tangled in her hair, yanking until her eyes opened wide.

“Wake up, Serafina,” he hissed, thrusting his hips, the pain of it lessened by her mercifully growing wetness.

Arching her spine, she positioned herself to give him the best angle to fill her with, and ease her own discomfort. It was something she had learned very early in her time as Consort to the Vampire Ascendant; Astarion would take his pleasure when he deigned, and she would need to make the best of it. “I am awake, my love.” She let out a breathy gasp as warm heat began to build in her core, her body responding to him as it always did, even when she wished it wouldn’t, even when she hated what he was doing to her.

Groaning, he dug his fingers into her hip, leaving bruises that would heal fast enough. At the very least, nothing he ever did to her left a lasting mark. “It took far too long,” he snapped, thrusting into her with escalating violence. “Touch yourself,” he ordered.

Without hesitation, her fingers found her clit, working the bundle of nerves quickly. Though she knew he cared very little for her enjoyment on days like these, it was still somehow an insult to him, if she didn’t reach climax. She offered a prayer to the gods that she could accomplish the task this morning, since something had him in a foul mood.

Closing her eyes, she drifted far away, to a different time, to a different Astarion. Not the monster she made, but the sweet elf who had wanted something real, the one that was hidden from her so often these days. How he would hold her and touch her gently, and they would reach a bliss born of love together.

Her breath came in little pants, she was so close. He was with her, whispering softly to her, and she was happy, safe, loved. “Ast-”

With one harsh thrust and another groan, he finished, tearing her from her beautiful dream. He pulled her hips tight to his, making sure to fill her with every drop of his seed. A mark of ownership, as her new life prevented her womb from ever carrying children. That very same dead organ had cost her the favor of her Patron.

Titania had been merciful, withholding her wrath until the Netherbrain sank beneath the Chionthar, allowing Sera to wield her warlock magic to help end the threat of the Absolute. Then, on a morning garden walk, protected from the sun as Astarion had promised, Titania appeared. A twisted reflection of their first meeting, gone was the kindly Fey who had called herself Godmother; now she appeared as the wrathful Queen of Summer burning like the sun.

“You have betrayed our bargain, Serafina,” her golden eyes flashed and a halo of fiery red hair seemed to move with life of its own.

Her gaze found the intricate stonework of the garden path and studied it. “Please, your Majesty, I can still be of use,” she pleaded, desperate at the thought of losing her power, and no longer being hidden from remembrance.

“You had one use, girl, raise a house to serve me, as your ancestors served my sister. This creature that you’ve become is incapable of that. Consider yourself lucky that I merely take back what it is mine, and not hold you to the strictest terms we set. Though in a way, this is its own punishment.”

Sera chanced a glance at the seething Queen, and swore she caught a hint of sadness in her eyes.

“Serafina,” Astarion’s voice beckoned and she felt herself tense. She hadn’t been in the garden that long, but, in the short time since they’d moved into Cazador’s old manor, he’d become concerned with keeping her close to him as often as possible.

“I will leave you to your paramour. We will not meet again, child.” Titania was gone in a burst of light, leaving behind the scent of wildflowers and warm forest, the scent Astarion had once said she carried.

An emptiness crept through her veins, a hollow feeling where once her magic had dwelt. Another part of her that was gone, like her reflection or the breath in her lungs. Her legs wobbled beneath her and threatened to give out.

“Little love,” he was closer and his tone had grown terse. He worried for her, everything had always been taken from him, and she could be too.

“I’m here,” she called back, voice cracking.

Then he was there beside her, as though he hadn’t been far away at all. Although she was sure he’d sounded closer to the manor. Strong arms wrapped around her and she let herself collapse into his chest, choking back her tears.

“What is it, my darling?” He cooed at her, stroking her hair gently. “What happened?”

“Ti-Titania,” she managed, resisting the urge to sob. “She came, said our pact was over, she took my power.”

His hands gripped her shoulder, tightening until she gasped. “Oh my sweet, silly, little Serafina. Why ever would you be concerned with losing that blasted pact?”

“I…” She struggled to think of an answer that would explain it. These flashes of another Astarion hadn’t gone away once they were safe. More and more, he was there, the spawn she loved disappearing into him.

“See? You can’t think of one good reason.” His lips kissed the top of her head, even as his fingers seemed to dig into her bones. “You don’t need her magic, you have me. I’ll always protect you, and you’ll want for nothing, just like I promised. Isn’t that good enough?”

“Of course my love. It’s just…”

“Just what?” His tone turned dark.

“It’s strange for me.” It was a mood she was learning well, one that would tolerate no argument.

His grip relaxed and he pulled her to him again. “I suppose it is, but you’ll adapt quickly you have a talent for it. Now let’s get inside, we’ve a lot of decorating to see to and I want your opi-” He cut himself off and tilted her chin up to look into his eyes. “I know you, don’t I?”

She tried to shrink away, to find a way to deny it. But with Titania’s pact gone, the magic that had protected her was gone too. Everyone would remember her, even Astarion. “Lady Serafina Glacies. Your mother is quite infamous among the nobility, as I recall. And that night, Cazador announced your betrothal, you were terrified, poor little thing.” He chuckled. The man she loved, laughed at the worst moment of her life. “Looks like you're another thing I took from him, another thing that he was unworthy to have.”

And here she was now, not the Summer Queen's Warlock, not the Hero of Baldur’s Gate, simply the Consort.

“Didn't finish, love,” he clicked his tongue at her mockingly. “Poor little thing.”

“It's fine,” something in his tone felt ominous.

“Nonsense,” his fangs nipped the back of her neck before he moved. Shoving her to her back, he kneeled between her thighs, hooking her knees over his shoulders, leaving her dreadfully exposed to him.

A finger ran along her slit, eliciting a whimper. “You know, things like waking up and finding release wouldn't be so difficult if you'd just drink sentient blood.” He began to trace rough circles around her clit, the pressure walking a line between pain and pleasure.

“I just don't want to hurt anyone.” He'd been insistent it would solve all her problems, to just drink thinking blood once, and see what she was missing.

A snarl curled his lip upward and he glared down at her. “You know, there was a time when I would have given anything to feed as I wished.” A pale hand lashed out, wrapping around her throat, cutting off air she didn’t need, but blood she very much did. Once her instinct might have been to fight, but she had learned it only made him angrier. Instead, she fought to push down the rising panic and ignore the dizziness she knew would set in if he didn’t let go.

His fingers continued their violent ministrations, her clit aching under his touch, and no way to escape him. Whimpers died in her closed throat, and yet she felt her body betraying her and climax building. “That was almost your fate too, in case you’ve forgotten. But look at how kind the gods were, delivering you to me instead.”

He plunged inside her again, even as his hand remained around her throat. “If you would just stop being stubborn and listen to me,” every word was punctuated by the thrust of his hips and the throb of her tortured clit.

With shame, she felt herself clench around him, as she reached bliss in the midst of the madness.

“Good girl,” he purred, releasing her throat, seemingly finally pleased with something about her this morning. Only for the hand still abusing her sex to suddenly pinch her sharply. “It really shouldn't have taken so much.”

But a few more thrusts occupied him with finishing while she blinked back tears and felt the blood returning to her brain. He was still, and calm, eyes softening as he looked down at her. “Oh my sweet,” startlingly gentle fingers brushed her hair from her face. “I’m sorry, I got worked up. I only want the best for you.”

She relaxed into the touch, the soft words. This was her Astarion, the one she loved. The other she had to endure at times, but this one was hers. Turning her head, she kissed his palm as it trailed along her cheek. “I know,” she rasped, through vocal cords that would recover soon enough.

“Shh,” he leaned down to kiss her softly enough that the fear melted away.

Collapsing beside her, he pulled her onto his chest, where he could pet her and kiss the top of her head over and over. “Really my love, it just vexes me when you won't take care of yourself.”

“I love you,” she whispered, wanting to hold onto this moment of calm.

“I know you do, my little treasure, my Serafina.” He squeezed her tightly and sighed happily. “I know. I just have to help you through this.”

Her stomach dropped, all the peace she'd found evaporating. “What do you mean?”

Astarion rolled her off his chest, and sat up with a knowing smile. “You have this hesitation about eating properly. And you need help getting over it, so I'm going to help you.”

“But Astarion…”

He cut her off with a finger against her lips and tutted. “Now, now, little love, you'll just have to wait and see. And do one little thing for me.” Astarion’s eyes began to glow red and she felt an itching in her mind. “You're not to leave our rooms until I return.”

There was pain tearing through her heart and fresh tears pooling in her eyes. There was no choice but to listen to his command, the command of a sire to his spawn. He'd compelled her. “You said you'd never.”

“If you were obedient. Starving yourself is not very obedient. What if you got weak and were killed and left me alone?” He stayed calm but she could hear the anger simmering beneath the surface.

Rising from the bed, he began to dress for the day, while she lay there, still in disbelief. “When I return, we'll settle this matter.”

He leaned over and kissed her, ignoring the tears silently falling. And then he was gone, leaving Sera to await what his idea of help would be.

#bg3 #astarion #baldurs gate 3 #astarion x tav #astarion x original female character #baldurs gate 3 fanfic #my writing #my fanfic #bg3 tav #bg3 tav serafina #ascended astarion #slow dancing in a burning room

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distortedkilling · 5 months

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I'm sorry if this is a too deep question out of nowhere, but on your HCs, how do you think the curses (and mahito especially) perceive gender? Mahito uses masculine pronouns in canon, but do you think he identifies with a specific gender? Is agender? Is interested in studying the importance we humans give to it, or thinks it's too stupid and unecessary? Does he comprehend certain prejudices that humans have due to gender ideas? I was also going to include asking about sexuality too, but I think this is already a pretty big ask </3 have a good day S2

Feel free to ask anything you like! I love deep questions.

With curses in general I think the context matters - as in, the type of curse they are. Say a curse exists that was born from the suffering women have endured, I feel like that curse would be more attached to the associated gender because its existence and nature surrounds that gender specifically. Whether that curse has the sentience or care to identify as said gender is another thing to consider. How a curse presents itself could be directly related to that gender its nature is associated with, or it could be a more ambiguous thing that covets aspects of the specific gender despite being something more akin to agender.

I think it comes down to the nature of the curse (why the curse was born to begin with) + the level of sentience of the curse (if it possesses the awareness to care about gender). I think a curse lacking sentience/awareness that identifies as a gender is likely echoing its nature without consideration - like a ghost looping in the place it died. Curses seem to echo "gibberish" about what made them or is related to their birth.

By default I lean towards the 'no' zone of curses perceiving gender to the degree humans do. While gender can be important to the type of curse it is, gender doesn't actually serve a purpose beyond that to them. It's entirely a human construct in terms of identification. Gender serves a reproductive purpose, sure, but how many curses are out there making babies? I ask that because curses, as we know them, lean more into negative and destructive habits than positive and creation based ones.

The context of a curse is what can give them a gender association, but a curse possessing sentience to some degree is what can define their perception on gender - if they even have one.

With Mahito I think he understands humans value gender perception. I don't think he personally cares deeply on the matter himself in terms of identification, but he likes the way the male form feels more-so than the female form. From the angle I write him from, I feel like he's agender but likes to be masculine presenting in body to a degree.

(Side note: I have a running theory way off to the side on the fact he was more masc leaning because human hatred, fear and betrayal in history has been more knowingly caused by men and patriarchies. That's not me saying women haven't done shit things in history, mind you, since Mahito isn't really bound to any one gender doing one. But predominantly in history, regardless of country even, we see male leaders of nations or clans being the ones to decide the fates of others. Betraying their people, enslavement, forcing their people into war, murdering for their own gain or enjoyment, etc. and the greater documentation we have of it regarding men over women.

It made me think that maybe Mahito's development into a masc leaning build was influenced by that. But he also keeps his features feminine leaning because plenty of women in history have also done wrong. Both in the past and present day - whatever the span of energy was that built up enough to make him. Or remake him (again and again).

It's a very tentative thing I'm considering because obviously it Doesn't Sound Great on paper. But Mahito is a little bit of a scholar of sorts, between human psychology, philosophy and (in my opinion) having some manner of interest in history - I can see him kind of playing with this angle because it could feel right to him to embody aspects of what birthed him. Presenting as a feminine man also is its own topic that inspires stupid amounts of hatred in people. Seeing as Mahito likes to make people upset, uncomfortable, etc. I can also see him forming his body based on that.

And while I know a person's art style is liable to change here and there and what not - I find it fun to think that Mahito is just shapeshifting himself a little here and there. Thins his muscles, gets a little leaner now and then, sometimes gets more bulky. Adjusts depending on his wants or if he thinks it's necessary to.

Anyways, these thoughts in here are just tentative ones I'm musing on because I'm trying to factor in the things that birthed him and how they've played a role in humanity. So take this section in parenthesis with a grain of salt for now.)

Back to your inquiry, I think he'd be interested to learn how humans perceive it and what the fuss is all about. The subject of gender in the modern era sparks a lot of negativity between those who are going unheard and those who are obtuse on the matter. I think Mahito understands gender in the form of human reproduction and doesn't inherently think more on it beyond that. If someone corrected him on how their identify he'd take a second to consider their physical form and if it was based on that or based on their mental perception of themselves. Either way, I don't really feel like he'd have a care in going along with how someone identifies as, since gender to him isn't a huge deal. On top of that, his interest in psychology and philosophy surrounding the subject is probably the saving grace here that would have him be interested in going along with it. Because without that, he really wouldn't care and would call someone whatever came to mind. This isn't to say he's a nice curse, btw. Mahito will likely make rude jokes at the expense of someone. Gender, orientation, whatever regarding all that isn't really off limits if he wants to be mean in some way.

I think Mahito has a good understanding on the prejudices that exist. While he has no real attachment to gender as a curse and just decides based on his whim of what he likes at the time, he understands the value humans have with it and the negativity that generates because of the subject. Hell, he was probably born from a decent chunk of the hatred ignorant people have on the subject and the hatred (and fear) people on the other side of the debate (nonbinary, trans, etc) also experience. Mahito sees this issues humans face and thinks they are silly things to squabble about. But hey, they are generating negativity and kind of proving his own ideology so he isn't about to complain either.

Also feel free to ask about sexuality! I'm pausing this answer without that part because I'm not wholly sure what about it you'd like me to address. If you mean how curses or Mahito perceive sexuality? Or if he associates with that-- like similar questions here just flipped for that subject or something else. So rather than presuming I'll let you feel free to ask if you'd like so I can give the inquiry the attention it deserves.

If I didn't answer something enough, feel free to specify and I'll clarify my thoughts further. I don't mind at all.

Mind anyone who gets this far, this is just my own opinion of how I write Mahito. It's fine if you disagree with any part of it. ^^

Thank you very much for asking! It was lovely to answer.

#also sorry if any part of this sounds short or ignorant when covering the topic. i was trying to keep concise to the inquiries and not delve #too deeply into the subjects outside of the character in question. i have my own very long history with gender identity stuff so any vague #descriptions isn't from an actual ignorant point but because i didn't want to delve into certain aspects or account for the nuances #of the subject when mahito's perception of it is more simple. this way the answer can be about him vs my opinion(s) on the topic xD #have i disclaimed this post enough?? lmfao #asks #headcanons

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greenlikethesea · 2 years

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Smut prompts?

“I know I should care about the reason why you’re naked in my bed, but I will just enjoy it for a moment.”

Original fiction or the fanfic pairing of your choice.

“I know I should care about the reason why you’re naked in my bed, but I'll just enjoy it for a moment.”

Chrissy always forgets about how funny Robin can be, how dedicated she gets to putting on a character, that she forgets for a moment exactly the steps that led her here. The pouring rain, her body's autopilot to Robin's cozy studio instead of the place she herself shared with Heather, a practical stranger, across town, the systematic removal of her wet clothes and the delicious slink into Robin's gigantic bed, which took up most of her apartment, and that slide into sleep. Her body, however, doesn't let her forget the affect that Robin has on her lately -- that familiar ache growing between her legs, churning in her gut, unable to hide any of it behind cloth and clasps. Her nipples chafe against the fabric of her top sheet.

"That so?" Chrissy says, making sure her voice doesn't betray her want.

Robin smirks. Ah, so it didn't work after all. They've been sort of circling the drain of this thing between them anyway, building for months after Eddie and Steve introduced them, sick of them lamenting the lack of female friendships in their lives. They've graduated from occasional coffee meetups to spending most days together in some way or another, and Chrissy knows how quickly she falls. And sure, Robin's a scatterbrain, a bit of a clutz, but she keeps her feelings close to her chest -- up until now.

"Maybe I'll -- maybe I'll do something about it though," Robin continues, and ah yes, there's the uncertainty Chrissy knows like she knows herself. "May I?"

"Please," Chrissy says, but doesn't make a motion any particular way. Your move, Buckley.

Robin strips silently, as if she were alone and not subject to Chrissy's hungry eyes. They've seen each other naked before, Robin's soft breasts and cute, flat butt seared into Chrissy's memory, but context is everything. As Robin slips under the covers to join her, naked as the day she was born, Chrissy presses forward, chest against chest, hips against hips. Robin's breath hitches, her hands drifting toward Chrissy's ass, taking handfuls like she's going to lose her if she doesn't touch. Inhaling sharply, Chrissy arches into that touch, grinding her cunt down to chase that high, get that friction she's so desperately needed since she smelled Robin's shampoo on the pillows.

"Kiss me," one of them says, Chrissy's not sure.

They meet in the middle, biting more than kissing, searing hot and just this side of needy. Chrissy keeps grinding against Robin, who slips a finger between her legs, brushing against her hole with a tantalizing hint of a touch.

"In -- in me --" Chrissy cries out between kisses.

Robin's fingers inside her are quick and efficient, but her lips are soft and sensual, betraying a longing much like Chrissy's, thank God, oh thank God. It's not long before Chrissy is tumbling over the edge, her orgasm hitting her like a slap, one that makes her come to her senses. Robin bites at her lips through it, pushing her just past the point of comfort, trailing off after a litany of too much too much too much. Before Chrissy can reciprocate, Robin's hand is quick on herself, teeth latched onto Chrissy's shoulder and biting down when she convulses with her own orgasm. The best kind of pain, borne of pleasure.

They're silent in the moments after, breathing in each other's air, giggling softly into each other's skin. It's only when they've truly caught their breath that Robin speaks.

"You never really responded to my question," Robin says.

"It wasn't a question," Chrissy says, and kisses her to make her forget.

#asks #sorry this is so late!!!!#thank you so much <3 #buckingham

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adari-bab · 1 year

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Looking for Partners:

Hello all

I am Adari or Ari (25+) and I am looking for new partners. I have been rping for 10+ years now, on and off. I write in 3rd person, anywhere from 3-5+ sentences depending on the scene/plot. I love to write extras(NPCS) and build worlds. I can do smut and non-smut roleplays really. My typical genres are fantasy, horror, noir, adventure, crime and romance. I only do FXM (OCXOC ONLY)though with me as the female, partners inrl gender doesn’t matter as long as they play the M role. My ocs are mostly POC and can range in personalities and body types. I also only use art/descriptions. If you want to know anymore, let me know.

For my partners:

Please reply 3x a week (I understand RL comes first though

Write 3-5+ paragraphs

Bring ideas (I don’t want to be the only one moving the story along

Play NPCs

Be 23+

No one liners

No ghosters (Just let me know, I don’t bite)

We can discuss more in private. My email: [email protected] (I have discord as well, but I won’t put it on this ad. You can ask for it in the email or on here)

Here some of my plots:

(These are water down versions. I have full versions upon req)

The Time Of Betrayal: A has always been a stand up and by the books kind of person, they are smart, respected and the co-commander of unit Alta-2O. They did not come from much, but they climbed up the ranks of society and met the love of their lives. Life was looking up, until it wasn’t. One day they are betrayed by their lover and sibling, left for dead and pinned for a series of drug trafficking/ smuggling throughout the galaxy. What a terrible way to die? But soon A finds themselves awake in the body of the villainess princess/prince of planet X. What will they do next? And who will they recruit for their plot of revenge? [Romance, sc-fi, crime]

The Mad Arch-Dutches: Born into a wealthy family A never lacked in his life and once he grows up he is married off to the princess of the kingdom. After his marriage everything seems to fall apart (his father dies, his brother falls ill, his family mansion burns to the ground and one by one their diamond mines get infiltrated. Soon the culprit is caught, a woman known as the mad arch dutches. A is satisfied with this, but for some reason his wife betrays him and he ends up dead. Only he isn’t. He goes back in time to a week before his wedding to the princess. Bent on revenge, he goes to the dutches to strike up a deal, becoming partners against his once beloved wife.

BitterSweet: Five years ago, C1 was struggling to get by. She did everything she could to live despite the odds stacked against her, being born into poverty and labeled as an omega. But lucky for her she was smart and was able to get a decent job. One day while working for a high end casino, she runs into a notorious criminal, unknown to her and helps him win a few games, by noticing patterns. Thus began their passionate night. He romances her and gives her everything she could ever desire. But after she witnesses how brutal he can be, she decides to disappear. Now working in another city, C1 is happy with her life and with her child. Unfortunately for her, her ex has now tracked her and he won’t let her escape this time. [Moden, alpha-omega verse, noir, dark elements]

The Empress is A Tyrant: Cx falls into a game that he has played after a horrible accident. In the original he was supposed to be the man who left his villainess wife for the darling heroine. But now that he is in the game, he wants to change the course, since in his previous life, he is all for the villainess and he doesn’t really think she deserved to die. So he will decide to change her fate and make sure she is the one with a happy ending.

To Be A Step-mother: Sold by her family to become a bride to a “barbaric” empire to bring peace? It was laughable to the child the grand pope hated the very sight of. She was barely even human, all because she didn’t possess the power of the light. At least they don’t know that she does. Brought before the tyrant king who kills for pleasure, she smiled at him. “Your majesty, would you like to strike a deal with me?”

#oc roleplay #roleplay #noir #dark roleplay #dark romance

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fangirlings-things · 3 years

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— Lost Without You I

anon said: hey! could you please write a song fic with anthony bridgerton, I don't have any specific song in mind, but just some angst would be perfect because you write it soooo beautifully :') hope this is ok, kissess

A/N: hey, love!! I faced this as somewhat as a challenge and it was quite amazing to write!! thank you sooo much for your words, I sincerely hope you like this 💖

*this is supposed to have two parts, so if you guys like it and want the rest, please let me know your thoughts 🥰 lots of love

TAG LIST: @for-bebbanburg ; @venusflwer ; @avrilstaro || GIF CREDIT: @fifty5hades

This is based in Freya Ridings song, Lost Without you

Fandom: Bridgerton

Pairing: Anthony Bridgerton x female reader

Word count: 6.3K

Summary: One would need to be Lady Whistledown to know about the ever existent bond between the eldest Bridgerton son, Anthony, and Lady (Y/N) Kerrington. They made a good work at hiding their intentions even from their own families. According to their plan, when the Miss came to age, they would marry each other quite fastly, since they had been courting one another through the entirety of their lives. (Y/N) Kerrington thought so too, but the Viscount's actions and decisions, changed it all.

[ I ]

“Have you two gone completely mad?”

Turning around, within the heavy rain and through the drops of water that kept falling from the sky and soaked your whole body, seeming to permanently attach your dress to your skin, you saw Anthony Bridgerton standing at the back door of his own house, protected by the rain.

He had his forehead frowned in confusion as he stared at you and his sister, Daphne, whom stood by your side at the Bridgerton’s garden. His hair was a bit of a mess, like he had been sleeping recently and his hands were on his waist. His eyes, deep brown eyes that made him look a lot older than he really was by the intensity they carried, were fixed upon you.

“Join us, brother!” Daphne invited, laughing as she turned her face upwards and enjoyed the feel of the rain directly on her features. Her arms were open alongside her body, as she embraced the rain. That was something you both liked doing together, ever since your early childhood days.

“No, I will not sister and you two really should get out of there before you fall ill!” her older brother replied and the tangible worry in his voice made you smile more largely than you did before.

“It could be fun, Anthony!” you said to him and with a spark of joy, did not fail to notice how he squeezed his lips on a thin line for a moment at hearing you call him by his first name. Such thing could be seen as a lack of manners that being if, you had not known each other through the entirety of your lives, which allowed you to comfortable around every single member of the Bridgerton family.

Your family, the Kerrington’s, had been the Bridgerton’s neighbor even before you had been born. Both families, that had a similar amount of money and same high position in society, had always been closely bond to one another. You had grown up with Daphne as your best friend, frequenting her house or she yours almost every single day. Her siblings had always been nice to you and you loved them all as if they were your own siblings.

But not Anthony.

Oh no, Anthony was a completely different thing.

There was nothing brotherly in the way you thought of him and such thoughts were only intensified by some situations you found yourself in like this very one, where he seemed to be genuinely considering your words after having just denied his sister’s. Little actions that instigated your fantasies.

“If I do, only for a moment, will you come back to the house with me afterwards?” he questioned, ever so serious, looking from you to his sister and then back at you.

You looked at Daphne who had turned her head back down and as soon as she smiled mischievously at you and raised her eyebrows, you turned back to Anthony. “We swear!”

Anthony nodded his head in agreement and then sighted heavily. His eyes went to the dark sky for a few moments, the entirety of it made of grey clouds filled with drops of water that had not yet fallen. You watched with the most absolute attention as he mumbled something to himself under his breath before finally stepping away from the house’s protection and starting to make his way towards you both.

When he reached you and Daphne, his hair was already soaked with water and was attached to his forehead. Drops of water ran down his handsome face. His white shirt was now as good as nothing, the details of his arms and chest now exposed to your wanting eyes. “Is it enough?”

“You did not have fun yet” Daphne argued immediately and with the same smile as before on her lips, kicked a puddle of water, splashing quite some in his already wet pants. The angry expression on his face made her laugh loudly her unique laugh.

You laughed also, and then found his gaze landing on yours once more. “Are you on her side, (Y/N)?” a drop of water right in that moment ran down his nose and fell in the grass. He stood close, closely than you had noticed before. Just two steps, and you could have touched his chest.

As you lost yourself in such a tempting and inappropriate thought, Lady Bridgerton appeared on the back door, in the exact same spot Anthony had been before, her mouth hanging open in shock for moment as she saw what has occurring on her own garden. “What is happening? Anthony Bridgerton! You allowed your sister and Miss (Y/N) to such recklessness?” Anthony did not even turn around at hearing his mother’s angry voice, just sighted once again and looked at Daphne when she laughed hard like before. “Come inside right now, the three of you, before you fall ill!”

“My exact same words” Anthony said, eyes on the grass, as you three obediently walked back to the inside of the Bridgerton’s house.

“Sorry to get you in trouble, brother” Daphne said, but both her tone and expression made it clear that she had not even a bit of regret. When reaching the back door, she was the first one to rush inside and disappear in the corridors after getting a blanket from her mother, leaving a trail of water behind her.

“I apologize, Anthony” you said, smile having completely faded away now. Eyes on the floor because you refused to look him in the eye. You took no pleasure in causing him any kind of trouble, especially with his mother, whom now had stepped away to get another two blankets.

Anthony did realize your afflictions, because he instantly replied. “All is well, (Y/N), do not worry” the softness of his tone made you raise your eyes. You were surprised to find him smiling at you. “By the end of the night, my mother will have forgiven me already”

You smiled because of the confidence on his voice. “I am glad”

You both went silent then, the heavy rain outside continuing to fall and the distant thunders seeming to be as loud as ever. With your eyes locked in one another’s, none of you said a thing. It was a peaceful moment, an intimate one. Shared by just the two of you.

“Oh, my dear, you must be freezing!” Lady Violet Bridgerton came back with two other blankets and carefully placed one around your shoulders, wrapping you in it and without even knowing, ruining one of the best moments you could think of. “What will your mother think of my hospitality if she finds out what has happened in my own garden! Come, Daphne will borrow you a dress for the evening” as she made you walk away after having given the other blanket to Anthony, you could feel his gaze burning your back.

Oh, how you wished to turn back around and stare into his eyes in peaceful silence once more.

[ II ]

“Are you nervous about the next season?” Daphne asked as she looked at you from the couch she sat in, in one of the many rooms in the Bridgerton’s house.

Having taken your place in the very couch that faced hers, you sighted. “Of course” you looked down at your hands, that were joined in your lap. “We are to be wed in the next season already. How could I not be” a pure nervous laugh escaped your mouth as you admitted so. In hopes that no one would see, by the corner of your eye, you looked over at Anthony, who was sitting at a small table, reading a book. He was always your dream when you thought of marriage.

“You should not worry too much, (Y/N)” Benedict, who had been playing with Gregory for the past twenty minutes, came to sit by your side in a relaxed position. “You will have many suitors, I am sure. Daphne, though…” the unfinished sentence had the desired effect, because Daphne opened her mouth with an offended expression and you laughed with Benedict. In your own mind, you thanked him for being so good and helping to ease some of your tension.

“While (Y/N) marries a gentleman, Daphne will find herself being courted by an old man with no hair left in his head” Colin joined the fun and Daphne’s only response was to roll her eyes and cross her arms over her chest. Benedict though, once again laughed loudly.

“Benedict and Colin Bridgerton, stop making fun of your sister!” Lady Bridgerton said from her spot at the other side of the room as she walked towards your small group. Her expression though betrayed her tone, because she had a small pleased smile on her lips. “I am sure both of them will find a very good match and will be happily wed by the end of the next season, with gentlemens of the highest esteem”

"I hope so, mama" Daphne said truly, smiling at her mother. In the same moment, the sound of a chair being dragged against the floor caught everyone's attention and you all looked in that direction in time to see Anthony storming out the room. You frowned as you wondered what had happened, concern filling your being before you could even control your own emotions.

Not wanting to cause a fush about it, since all the others had apparently ignored his departure as something ordinary, you waited a few minutes in which you pretended to hear the words spoken by Benedict and his mother before you excused yourself and once out in the corridors, started to look for Anthony.

You found him on the library, his face was turned away from you but you could quite well imagine his mood by whatever it was that afflicted him, for the way he moved, tense and yet fast. That was not like Anthony Bridgerton at all.

"Anthony?" you called while entering the room, unsure if you should even disturb him in such time. He had gone away with the clear intention of being alone but still... you could not help it. You had to know he was well.

The sound of your voice made him turn around in the exact same instant and he went to you with a serious expression on his features, so serious it only served to increase your concern. "Anthony, what is—" before you could even finish, he walked past you and for a second you thought he was going to leave but then, he surprised you by closing the door and shuting you both inside. Alone. His expression did not change at all. You stared at him like was crazy. "Anthony, what are you doing? If your mother finds out we are in here alone she will never allow me into your house again!"

And you could not even bare that thought. Yes, Lady Violet was a nice woman, she had never objected you and Daphne at playing with the boys when you were children and as you grown up, she found it pleasing that all of you enjoyed each other's company so much but still, now that you were practically of age to marry, to be without a chaperone in a closed room with a man who was not from your family, it was a scandal. Even if that man was the one you loved with all your heart and had known since forever.

"(Y/N)" he said, taking a deep breath and walking towards you, ignoring your previous words like they meant nothing. He clearly did not see the danger. He stopped a mere step away, looking into your eyes with such meaning you suddenly found it difficult to breathe. His eyes, were as troubled as a storm day. It confused you. "I—" he stopped, took anothet deep breath, looked at his feet. Then he raised his eyes to yours again with renewed determination. "I want to—" again, he seemed to lack the words to finish his thought and clearly frustrated, looked away once more, this time at a point above your head.

All of his actions and words made no sense at all to you and frankly, you started to wonder if he was not drunk, even though you had not seen him drinking. "Anthony, you are concerning me" you said simply, and that statement made in a low, careful tone seemed to be enough to make him snap out of whatever it was that was holding him back.

"I want you to make me a promise, (Y/N)" you opened your mouth to ask him what he meant by that but he was quicker and shockingly taking your hands in his as he kept staring into your eyes, answered to your unspoken question. "I want you to promise me that if I propose to you, you will at least perhaps consider marrying me"

All air left your lungs. Surely, you had heard it wrong. There was no way Anthony Bridgerton, your ever being passion, had just expressed his intentions of proposing to you in the future. That could not be true. Dreams are not realized just like that.

"A-Anthony..." you began, heart pounding in your chest like never before.

The Bridgerton mistook your surprise by hesitation and immediately let go of your hands and stepped back, creating some distance between you both. "I apologize for being so forward. I did not mean to make you uncomfortable"

"Uncomfortable? Anthony, I do not believe I have ever been happier!" as it was his turn to frown in confusion, you were the one who approached him and smiled brightly while looking into his eyes. "I promise, of course! I want to marry you, Anthony. I really do" you looked down and slowly, joined your hands together like he had done before. "Deep down, I believed you had already noticed my affection towards you"

"It crossed my mind once or twice, but I thought it was just my mind fooling me. I dared not to believe you felt the same way I did" he chuckled, happily. You thought you had never seen him with a smile as big as that one on his face. "Hearing my brothers and mother talking about you marrying someone else in there, I could not stand it" he admitted, and a glimpse of shame seemed to cross his features for a moment. "In the next season, when you will be presented in society, I will propose to you. And if you desire to, we will get married"

Trying to control your own happiness, that was immesurable because everything seemed to be perfect, you nodded your head in agreement. "We will get married"

[ III ]

The months were passing too fast. Already, you had only a few months before the season in which you would be presented in society and it would be expected of you to be well married soon.

I will marry Anthony, you thought to yourself with a smile on your face as you enjoyed the peace and quiet of your bedroom for a while. Staring at the ceiling above your head, you had no doubt that everything would work out just fine.

If he was a man of no fortune, your father and mother (your mother especially) would for certain object to your union. But he was Bridgerton, their status and wealth were as high as your own if not bigger and so, there would absolutely be no arguing. You dared to say, she would even be thrilled by the fact that you were going to marry the one day to be Viscount.

Nothing could go wrong, you thought to yourself while smiling still. He loved you. Just as you loved him. With the same intensity and amount of desire, you had seen it in his eyes when he had spoken his mind in the Bridgerton library. You would be happy together, really happy.

Knocks on the door got your attention. "Sister, mind if I come in?"

Immediately in surprise, you sat up and laughing softly because of the joy that hearing his voice brought you, spoke. "Do come in!"

The door was opened then, and you watched as your brother slipped inside of your room, smiling down at you with a warm smile. Without saying a word he opened his arms and you without a moment of hesitation, threw yourself in his arms and hugged him tightly. "I have missed you too, dear" he said with a laugh escaping his mouth.

Only after several moments you stepped back, to be able to really look at him. Thomas Kerrington, your older brother, was smiling as he looked at you. He wore his uniform, and he looked beautiful in it. The pride of the family, the youngest soldier ever made Coronel because of his courage and whom recieved the command of complete troops of soldiers only weeks later. Since he had joined the Royal Army, you barely saw him twice a year. He was too valuable to be away from action often and you understood that but still, you missed your brother.

"How long will you be staying?" you asked while pulling him towards your bed by the hand, and making him sit down with you.

"Just a couple of days" he answered, smile fading a bit just as you did. Thomas still squeezed your hand in his. "My regiment is being moved and as we are going to be facing hard months soon, I thought it would be nice to see my family" he watched your eyes for a few moments and then, opened a bright smile again and put the sadness aside, like it was typical of Thomas. He always knew how to bring happiness into a room. "Are you excited for the next season?" the young Coronel was not married himself. Having since very soon been involved in the Army's business and interests, court a wife had not been a priority to him and still was not.

"I am, actually" you admitted, looking down at your joined hands as all your thoughts about Anthony and the prospect of marrying him came rushing back into your mind. You and Thomas had always been close, really close. He was a incredible brother who loved his little sister very much and was always there for her. The thought of confiding in someone seemed nice, and whom could be better to do that with than your brother? "I already know who I want to marry, brother"

"Is that so?" raising your eyes to meet his, you saw that he was still smiling. "And is he a good man?" you nodded your head, and Thomas inspected your eyes with his. "Are you sure he will make you happy, sister?"

"I have no doubt" you replied, confident.

Thomas chuckled by your certainty. "Very well then, I guess I have no reason to object to such union" he passed one of his arms around your shoulders and brought you close to him, so you would lay your head on his shoulder. It was so good, to have him there in that moment. "Will you tell me his name, perhaps?"

You thought about it for a moment. He was your brother, you were sure he would not tell anyone. And even though he and Anthony had never been very close friends, they always got along well. But you should not, not when you and Anthony had come into an agreement of keeping it a secret. At least for now. "Come back during the season and, perhaps, you will get here in time to our wedding" you said and the sound of Thomas laugh filled the bedroom.

"Does it have a date already?" accompanying him in laughter, you appreciated your brother's presence. Very much.

[ IV ]

"It does sound like an interest book" you told Eloise with honesty, after having just read some pages of the book she had been reading herself and after some discussion about the quality of it with Daphne, asked you to give an opinion on it.

"Thank you, (Y/N)" Eloise smiled brightly at you and then extended the smile towards Daphne, who sitting on the couch across from you two, rolled her eyes because you had taken her sister's side. "At least you know how to appreciate a good book"

"Perhaps you should consider respecting my opinion, Eloise" Daphne told her younger sibling, with a bit of annoyance in her voice. Those two were always bickering with each other and you, as the oldest best friend, was always around to witness it.

"I do respect your opinion, sister, I simply think that it is not a wise one" you gave the book back to the younger Bridgerton while she said so.

Daphne seemed to be ready to give her a proper reply when Anthony entered the room. His eyes met yours and he smiled tenderly at you for a moment before looking at his sisters. "Have you both seen mother and father?"

"They went to accompany the Kerrington's to the market" Daphne said, referring to your parents, and you nodded in agreement.

"Oh, well" he placed his hands on his waist and sighted. "I shall wait for them to return, then"

"Continuing to plan your travel, brother?" Eloise asked, opening the book back to the page in which she had stopped reading.

"Travel?" you could not stop yourself before echoing the word, surprise quickly taking a hold of you. Your eyes went to Anthony instantly and by the expression on his face, you saw that he was not pleased with Eloise for having said so much.

"Anthony has decided he is going to travel for a while, explore the world alone and live some adventures perhaps" Daphne said, also turning around to look at her brother. "Colin will not stop talking about how much he wants to do the same one day"

"Oh, I see" it took all you had to maintain a natural, comfortable expression on your face. He was going to travel. Just a few months before the season in which you should be married. How long would he stay away? When would he return? Would he ever? All of those thoughts filled your mind and made your heartbeat get faster and faster. You dared not to say anything. No one knew about your intentions to marry one another, and you had agreed to keep it in that way.

Anthony, knowing you so well, clearly saw through your contained emotion. "I just remembered, (Y/N)! Benedict is asking for your opinion in one of his latest sketches, will you accompany me?" it was a lie. You could see that it was, even though his sisters did not see through the fake smile on his face.

Forcing a smile and nodding in agreement briefly, you got up, telling Daphne you would be right back, to which she agreed. After that, you followed Anthony out of the room and to one of the corridors close to the kitchen, where there was no one else by that time. Anthony stopped there, turned around to look at you and sighted heavily because of your sad expression. "I did not mean for you to find out like that"

You raised your eyes to meet his at that, in pure disbelief. "And how was I supposed to find out? Through Daphne, when you had already left?"

"I was going to tell you tomorrow, at dinner" he said in a rush, looking around after a moment to make sure there was absolutely no one there. He took the time to make sure his voice was low as he spoke. "Nothing has changed, (Y/N). I will marry you. This travel, it will take two months, maybe a bit more but nothing great. The season is in three months. I will be back in time, I promise"

You stared into his eyes deeply, worry filling your expression still. Under your inspection, he seemed so genuine and decided. It felt like he had everything planned, had thought everything through. "Are you sure this is what you want?" you asked then, not thinking of yourself, but of him. Travels made alone could be dangerous. And if something happened to him... you did not even wanted to consider that idea.

"I am, (Y/N)" he stepped even closer to you and held your hands, like he had a habit of to. You did like the familiarity of that simple touch. "I want to marry you, but first, I would like to see the world. Later, I shall be all yours"

The honesty in his voice made you smile, emotion was so strong your eyes went blurry with tears. "Then you must go. Do as you desire and when you get back, I will be eager to know all about what you have seen"

Anthony smiled. Letting go of one of your hands and bringing it to cup your face, he sighted. "You are the goodest person I have ever known"

You smiled, leaning into his touch.

Before, you had been nervous by the arrival of the social season. Now, all you wanted was for it to come quickly. As quickly as possible.

[ V ]

"If I may say, you look astonishing tonight, Lady Kerrington" Lord Edwards said, with a polite smile on his lips after having just given you a glass of a drink he had gotten from the Queen's table.

The ball had begun sometime around an hour before. The ball thrown by the Queen herlself that declared opened the social season. You were now, officially able to be courted and expected to be married by the end of it, if you had success. You had gone with your mother and father and as they had stepped away to talk to some friends, you had been left alone in the room and seeing the opportunity, Lord Edwards had approached you.

He was a gentleman, Lord Edwards. He was young, handsome, quite wealthy and his manners were flattering. By a young Lady's, like yourself, point of view, he should be the perfect husband. But not for you.

Because he was not Anthony.

Just to think of his name, it brought back the pain of missing him. Since the day in which he left for his travel, you had not seen him again. Of course, his journey had been cut short because his father, the Viscount Bridgerton, had died tragically all of the sudden, at a young age. It made Anthony have to make the arrangements to return sooner than expected.

And he did. A month and a half after he had parted, he was forced to return because he was now, the Viscount. As the eldest son, he had the responsibility of being there for his family, especially in such a tragic time.

Until this very day, you had not seen him since his return. As Daphne's best friend, you were still always in the Bridgerton residence, after her father's death even more, because you provided the young Lady the comfort she needed. There, you only caught glimpes of him once or twice, a rushed greeting that ended up with him leaving the room seconds later.

You did not blame him for it, of course not. His life had changed so much and so suddenly that it would be a challenge for everyone in his position. He should concentrate in the matters of importance for his family, it was needed. You would not bother him with affairs that were not urgent at the time. No, everything was set, also. He would propose sometime after doing some courting in the season, and you two would get happily married. And that would be it.

Looking around the ballroom, everytime the doors were opened you would look, expecting to see Daphne arrive. It would be nice to have a friend in the same situation you were in. As Lord Edwards went on in a conversation about his great interest in social events, you looked down at your dress. It was a beautiful blue dress, made with soft fabric. The little details here and there made it even more beautiful. Part of your hair had been pulled up and placed there delicately while leaving the rest of strands released freely, in a hair style that you did not fail to notice, got quite some attention from some of the other young Ladys.

Lord Edwards had just began his affirmation of how much he enjoyed the city rather than the country, when the doors were again opened and this time when you looked, your expectations were indeed achieved.

Daphne had just arrived. She looked absolutely gorgeous, making you smile instantly. At her right side stood her mother, Lady Bridgerton, ever an elegant woman and at her left side, stood Anthony.

Oh, the way your pulse accelerated at the sight of him. He was absolutely handsome, wearing the most formal clothes he had. His dark hair was as always that elegant mess you never got enough of. His eyes were inspecting the room, you smiled thinking that perhaps, he could be looking for you.

"Will you excuse me, Lord Edwards?" you said suddenly to the Lord, interrupting him in the middle of a sentence and he, a bit sad and yet completely polite, just nodded his head and bid you farewell.

You found yourself walking towards the small Bridgerton group, feet seeming to carry you there on their own even though you did know it would be reasonable to wait. But no, you could not help it.

"(Y/N) you look absolutely gorgeous!" Daphne exclaimed when she saw you, smiling as you stopped right in front of her. "Look, Mama, how beautiful she is!" you felt your cheeks get a bit red under your friend's compliments and the fact that you knew, that Anthony was hearing them and beside her, inspected you with his eyes also.

"My Lady Kerrington, how your mother must be proud of having such a lovely daughter!" Lady Bridgerton said, and that filled you with joy.

"I am sure you should be the one who is proud, Lady Bridgerton, because I have no doubt in my mind that Daphne will be the diamond of the season" your friend smiled as she made sense to your words and then, as you fell silent for a moment, you turned to her left to look at Anthony, whom had stayed silent until them. As your eyes met, it was as if sparks were flying all around you. "Viscount Bridgerton"

"Lady Kerrington" he replied. The kind of smile you expected to see in his features was not there. His eyes did not stare at you for a long while before he looked away. That was unsual. Before you could make up some conversation, a Lord came closer and asked Daphne for a dance. You watched with a smile as he stepped away with the man and then, as Lady Bridgerton came into a conversation with Lady Danbury, Anthony surprised you by stepping closer to you. "Lady Kerrington, mind if we have a word?"

"Of—" you did not even finished before he had already began to walk away from the doors, where the greatest amount of people were gathered around. Frowning, you rushed as graciously as you could after him, stopping only to leave your glass, that had been given to you by Lord Edwards, on a table.

Anthony only stopped walking when you were both close to one of the walls of the room, just enough away from others so no one could hear what you spoke about or if they did, would not pay much attention to it. Facing each other, after so long, it felt amazingly good. "It is nice to see you, (Y/N)" his voice was low, so no one would hear him call you by your first name.

You smiled, eyes meeting in a way that made your heart beat even faster, which you did not think was quite possible. "It is nice to see you too, Anthony" your voice was as low as he was. "I have missed—"

"I have to tell you something, (Y/N)" he cut you off shortly, eyes not on yours them. There was something in Anthony that did not seem like him at all. His jaw was clenched, his body was all uptight. He seemed more distant to you now than he had ever been in his travel on the other side of the world.

"Very well" you took a moment to be able to get those words out, because all of your happiness had already began to slip away. Surely, there were bad news coming ahead. The way he looked... or even better, did not look at you, that could not mean nothing good. "What is it?"

Anthony did not speak quite instantly. He looked around the room for a while, then took a deep breath. "I can not marry you, (Y/N)"

That felt like a punch. Right to your stomach, making you sick and your head spin like you had suddenly been privated from air itself. And even though you had to fight back the tears of confusion that dared to fall from your eyes, Anthony did not seem to share your emotion at all. He looked stern, decided.

"W-what happened?" you asked, voice trembling and honestly one string away from failing completely. He did not say anything. You were the one to take a deep breath then. "Anthony, look me in the eye" and only then he did. He looked right at you and you felt your heart break in a million pieces. "I understand if because of your father and your new title, you do not find marriage the most important thing right now. I really understand. You must have enough duties and responsibilities at the moment. But there is no problem. I will wait for you, Anthony. I will—"

"I do not want you to wait for me, (Y/N)" Anthony's tone was decisive. "It has nothing to do with my father or my responsibilities"

Your confusion only grew more and more and what you thought would be an amazing evening, was quickly revealing itself to be an awful one. "Then what—"

"I have someone else" he said and before you could even take in that information, he went on with his narrative. "I met her after I came back from my travel, in the occasion of my father's death. I have been with her ever since. I was with her before I came here today. I have been avoiding you all this time, because I did not have the courage to tell you about this. But I figured that this could no longer be postponed"

Your vision was so blurry you could not even see his face clearly. He had someone else. He did not want to marry you. "You said you loved me" were the words you spoke. You hoped no one was looking at you two because if they were, you had no doubt about how crushed you looked.

That simple phrase seemed to finally get a reaction from Anthony. He looked away from you for another moment, took another deep breath. And then, looked back into your eyes. "I am sorry, (Y/N). But she is the one that I truly love" and even though he showed a small reaction then, it was not even close to the amount required to such matter. He was dealing with you as if you were a simple affair that had to be taken care of. He had indeed become the Viscount, after all.

You swallowed the knot in your throat, spent countless silent moments trying to fight back the tears. And you stared into Anthony's eyes, and made him see just how much you loved him. Just how much he had hurt you. "I wish you happiness, Viscount Bridgerton"

You saw that Anthony swallowed dry. "(Y/N)..."

But you did not stay to hear what he had to say. You turned around and without being able to contain yourself made a run to the door, attracting everyone's attention to you. Tears fell from your eyes and you were so desoriented that you ran right into someone's chest. Cleaning the tears away with your hands, you met Lord Edwards eyes. "Lady Kerrington, are you well?" Without answering him, you continued to run to the door and only stopped when you felt the cold air of the night on your skin.

You cried, hurt by a man who had just made clear he did not want to marry you. He did not want you at all. You wanted to leave. You wanted to lock yourself in your bedroom and not get out anytime soon. Maybe never.

But most of all, what you really wanted but could not have, was your older brother. The comfort only he could give you in that moment.

[ VI ]

Dear readers,

From this author's perspective, after last night's ball, this social season looks quite promising. Young Ladies were presented into society in search of husbands, mothers have inspected their suitors and the Queen watched it all from her throne, seeming entertained. The night was filled with courting and dances, really a magical night for all the debutantes'.

It came to this author's ears though, that the night was not so magical for everyone. It seems that the young Lady Kerrington and Viscount Bridgerton were seen sharing a very meaningful conversation before she left the event in tears. What did they say to each other, is the question that remains. More specifically, what could the Viscount have said that made the young Lady feel so heartbroken?

Let us be attentive to the upcoming events, dear readers. If I learn to know something interesting in the future, and I always do, you all will the be the ones I share the not so secret with.

This author was a feeling, that many more scandals are yet to come.

Lady Whistledown

#imagine #x reader #fanfic #imagines #one shot #bridgerton imagine #bridgerton #bridgerton fanfic #bridgerton one shot #anthony bridgerton #anthony x reader #anthony bridgerton imagine #anthony bridgerton fanfic #anthony bridgerton one shot

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thera-daydreams · 3 years

Text

INDAY

± A Trese Fic ±

[Crispin/Basilio/Maliksi/Dominic x Skymaiden!Reader]

01: Noon at Ngayon (✓)

02: Ang Kambal na Anak ni Datu Talagbusao, Diyos ng Digmaan (Link)

03: Ang Prinsipe ng Mga Tikbalang (Link)

04: Ang Pinuno ng Mga Aswang (Link)

05: (Link) 06: (Link) 07: (Link)

01: Noon at Ngayon

Back then, long before you were born, your mother used to work as a katulong of the Trese Family and was very close to its matriarch, Miranda Trese. Coming from the province, she was no stranger to superstitions—even more so after knowing the work of Miranda's husband Anton Trese, who was actually the Babaylan-Mandirigma of Manila.

Years later, after giving birth to you around the same time Miranda gave birth to her twins (one a stillborn, unfortunately), it was you and Alexandra who became best buddies instead, as different your personalities were. You two had practically grown up together and you yourself heard countless stories of the supernatural from your Tito Anton. It wasn't that hard to believe when he and his sigbin companions would sometimes come home tracking blood prints on the floors (which you'd helped your mother clean up). Heck, you'd even met Señor Armanaz, the Great Stallion himself and the ruling tikbalang of the Armanaz herd. That pretty, white-haired diwata seemed extremely fond of you, too, which was evident when you'd sneak in with Alexandra to Tito Anton's meetings and she would smile (even wave) at you happily.

You had absolutely no idea why the fae-like lady was so nice to you, but you weren't complaining at all!

However, in spite of your experiences with the supernatural, you and your mother always believed that you were normal humans. In actuality, that was who you were for the majority of your childhood. It was only until Miranda herself saw a vision of you—a much older you—fighting the monsters of the Underworld alongside her own daughter. During dinnertime, Miranda told your mother that she saw you blessed by the heavens with powers that would aid in the battle against evil.

It sounded absolutely ridiculous, right? Yeah, your mom thought so, too.

Your mother only laughed it off as she placed a steaming bowl of tinola in front of Alexandra's brothers, who instantly dug in like they haven't been fed in years.

"Boys! Dahan-dahan lang," Anton reprimanded his sons. "Or else you'll choke and the soup will come out of your noses!"

"Okay, Papa."

"Grabe ka naman, Miranda. I doubt that anything like that's going to happen to my daughter," your mom chuckled, watching your little hands try to feed Alexandra with a piece of chicken. "Unlike you guys, our lineage isn't anything special. Ordinaryo lang ang lahi namin."

Miranda sighed, looking at you and her only living daughter enjoying your time being kids, "I guess you're right. Baka panaginip lang talaga 'yun."

Anton glanced at her knowingly. Although he was aware that you and your mom didn't dabble in magic or anything like they did, he knew that whenever Miranda—one of the Seven Seers—had such vivid dreams, it was something of great importance. But he decided to say nothing, understanding how much your mother wanted to let you live as normal of a life possible in this household.

That was when you were seven years old. One year later, Miranda died fighting against a group of aswang who decided to betray Anton. Said man found the eight-year-old Alexandra hiding in a corner behind the waterfalls, scared and holding Sinag close to her heaving chest as she tried to hold her tearful sobs in.

Of course, a few days later, you and your mother attended the funeral with the mourning Trese family. All the brothers had done their best to stay strong, especially for their little sister who didn't fully understand yet what just happened. Little you ran towards Alexandra, holding her hand tightly as her mother's casket was lowered. Around you were various comrades, both human and non-human, paying their respects to their bereaved allies.

That day, as you turned your back to return to your mother's arms, you knew you would never forget the feeling of numerous unearthly eyes following your every movement.

Even they could sense that there was something about you, a so-called regular human child. You smelled human and had the aura of one, but there was something they couldn't place. It was like a tiny rock getting into your shoe, not coming out at all.

Much changed after that, but you and Alexandra remained close together. To your dismay, just after you graduated elementary, you and your mother had to move back to the province to stay with your sick grandparents. The last thing you could remember was kneeling in the back of the car, looking sadly through the rear windscreen as Alexandra and her brothers waved goodbye to you.

More than a decade had passed since then. You used to write letters to Alexandra, but after Hank told you she had to undergo the trials of the Puno ng Balete, you haven't heard from her (although Hank did disclose that she'd managed to come home safely, which was a great relief to you). You didn't blame her; you knew Tito Anton had passed away in the five years she was gone and that she had to take over the title of Lakan, as well as the Babaylan-Mandirigma of Manila. It was a demanding job! You remembered Tito Anton sometimes staying up all night—breakfast would be served and he would still be in his study, going over paperwork. On other days, he would be gone for consecutive nights handling cases all around Manila. You could only pray Alexandra was fine.

Your life had continued on, as well—you took care of your ill grandparents until they died, helped your mother in the province, went to a good highschool, then earned your degree in another prominent city that wasn't Manila.

Your mom actually recommended that you go to school somewhere else, given the constantly rising number of attacks in the capital of the country. And so you did. Life was hard, but normal until then.

The funny thing was that, when you reached the age of twenty-one, you finally understood why those supernatural creatures kept looking at you weirdly as a kid (and why Lady Diwata liked you so much).

What was even funnier was that the dramatic revelation came to you when you weren't in the Philippines. It was after you freshly graduated college, when you were traveling all over Asia to volunteer in charity projects. It was always your dream to one day expand your horizons not only beyond your province, but the Philippines itself, while also doing good in the world.

And here you were, walking that path you dreamt of.

The organization you luckily managed to become a member of provided everything you needed, and every few months, you would move from country to country. Because of that, you'd already been able to travel to so many places. First it was Thailand, then Indonesia, China, South Korea, India, Japan, Sri Lanka, Singapore, Malaysia, and currently, you were in Vietnam. Visiting those places was fun and gave you a whole new perspective of the world you lived in; it was a... learning experience, too.

Still, that incident happened when you were in Thailand, when you were the last one in the rented apartment balcony taping up the boxes for the donation drive tomorrow. Yawning, you cut more duct tape and stuck them to the open boxes tightly.

"Inday," someone said from behind you. You didn't bother turning around, thinking it was one of your fellow volunteers looking for you this late at night. Probably your roommate. She was the only one who usually called you by your nickname instead of your real name.

"Hmm?" you hummed, taping up more boxes. "Papasok na ako sa kwarto, Lyn. I just have a few more boxes to close. Alam mong mapapagalitan ako kung may hindi madidistribute bukas."

"Hindi ako si Lyn."

You paused, then slowly turned around, flinching at the sudden bright light that shone right against your eyes. For a moment, akala mo namatay ka na at hinaharap mo si San Pedro.

It was a glowing figure in white whose face you couldn't clearly see, which frightened you even more.

"Ay, mama!" you exclaimed, shielding your eyes and falling to your knees. Then, you gasped loudly, patting your body and panicking with closed lids. "Oh my God, am I dead? Nasa heaven na po ba ako?" Your lips wobbled. "Ngayon pa nga lang ako nakaalis ng Pilipinas... I haven't even done all the things I've wanted to do! Hindi pa ako nakapagpaalam sa nanay ko—aray!"

You'd felt something hit the back of your head. Hard. It was the glowing figure in white, but now you could see their unimpressed face scowling at you.

"Kalma lang, Inday. Hindi ka pa patay, pero makinig ka nang mabuti," they shushed you urgently (you weren't sure if they were male or female). "Do not be afraid. I am a messenger from the heavens, and I bear great news!"

"Great news...?" you trailed off, then your eyes widened excitedly. "Like, nanalo ba ako ng lotto? Isang milyon? Bilyon? Hala! Wait, is this a Mama Mary moment? I'm not ready to be the next immaculate conception!"

They glared at you, making you shut up instantly. "Sorry, I'll shut up now," you apologized with a mumble. This person (thing?) was kind of... strict. Whatever did you do wrong? You were just sleep-deprived and running on energy drinks (as well as kape).

"I have come to tell you that you are the vessel of the last skymaiden," they revealed, arms wide open. The light around them seemed to grow even brighter, making you squint. You felt like you were about the go blind! "Ikaw ang huling biraddali, Y/N L/N."

At ayun, zero brain cells remaining. Tunay na nagloading screen ang brain mo. Nag-error at nagcrash pa nga siguro, eh.

"... Ha? Ano?"

You blinked, completely speechless—as seen by how wide your jaw had dropped open. It wasn't that you were unfamiliar with the biraddali, it was just that you'd only heard of them once when you were just a young child. Your Tita Miranda had mentioned they were long gone from the world of the supernatural.

"Oh no, me? A biraddali? You're joking," you stuttered out, pointing at yourself. "Aren't they extinct or something? And, uh... not human?"

They nodded, "Yes. It is correct that everyone in the mystical world thought that the biraddali were long gone, even before the colonizers came to conquer the native lands. However, before the skymaidens all disappeared, the youngest and most powerful one among the seven sisters sealed her soul away to the rivers of time until the strength of a heavenly being was needed to help purify the evils of the world." The figure floated closer to you. "That last biraddali's soul, along with its corresponding power, traits, and knowledge, had chosen to reside deep within you the moment you were conceived."

Honestly, how were you even supposed to react? Your life was nowhere near ready for something like this. Was this a prank by your friends? Your colleagues? The light around this person seemed too authentic to be fake, though.

You stayed in shock for an entire minute, silent. The being in front of you only waited for a response.

"Ano 'to, Sailor Moon? Winx Club?" you whispered to yourself, before slapping your own cheek and scolding yourself. A stinging red mark was left on your face. "Inday, kakamanhwa mo 'yan! Nasosobraan ka na ata, matulog ka na!"

Sighing heavily, you rubbed your face tiredly, still in disbelief that you—according to this stranger—were apparently some old soul from a species of ethereal beings that were long gone. It sounded like something out of those reincarnation webnovels you got addicted to. What now, you were the MC? Wattpad ka, girl?

"Look, this is a mistake. I still have to wake up early tomorrow to give out the donations," you spoke to the glowing being (or whatever it was), laughing nervously. "I'm sorry, but I think you have the wrong person. Either that or I must be hallucinating from sleep deprivation, because I'm definitely not a divine creature. You're probably just a product of my imagination. Sorry, I'm going to bed."

Bang!

At that moment, the power in the building went out. The only thing you could see was the thing who assumed you were a biraddali (they were so bright they were like a flashlight in the dark for you).

"Brownout?" you blinked. It felt wrong, though. It was eerily silent. "Did a fuse blow up?"

"Nagsimula na ang iyong unang pagsubok, Y/N," they announced seriously. "Creatures of the dark have already begun to take over this building. You may not have noticed, but all throughout your life, you have always been helping and giving. It is your nature as a being descended from the heavens themselves, and now, it is time for you to accept your destiny."

"Hoy, sandali lang! Sandali, sandali!" You were absolutely wide awake now as you heard the sounds of strange whispers around you. It was terrifyingly creepy, much creepier than whatever you'd seen back in the Trese Residence (and you'd seen a lot in that house). You did not want to be a part of a horror movie-like lifestyle. "Don't I have a choice in this?! I—I don't have any training or fighting skills! Hindi ako Alexandra Trese o Babaylan-Mandirigma! I'm not ready for this, holy sh—"

The candescent creature raised a brow at you, "Inday, I just told you that you have the power of a lost mystical being. And tell me, if you had the power to save your companions in this building from the forces of evil, would you save them?"

You were silent, knowing the answer.

"Well?" they prodded.

You bit your lip, "Oo naman. I'm not heartless!" But you were a little impulsive. And apparently, insane.

"That's what I thought. I just need you to believe in yourself," the being encouraged, gentler this time. It transformed into something smaller and rounder—like a ball of light. "Ikaw ang huling biraddali, Y/N, at marami kang kapangyarihan. Isa dito ay ang pagtulong sa mga nangangailangan, lalo na laban sa masasamang nilalang."

Bestie, what had you just gotten into?

You swallowed apprehensively, then nodded in determination, "Sige. So, how do I save the people in the building? Biraddali were said to be able to shapeshift, right? If I remember the tale correctly. Oh my God, I can't believe this is happening to me right now."

"That's just one of your abilities, but I'll teach you. I'm actually your guide," they replied confidently. "With me, you'll be able to master your powers and exceed your capabilities in no time!"

"Wait! Anong pangalan mo?" you asked breathlessly, following them as they speedily flew out of the room. "Grabe, slow down! I'm not athletic! I haven't even exercised this week, goodness."

"... Gabay. Ako si Gabay."

Despite the adrenaline and fear running in your veins, you still grinned up at the ball of light, "Okay. Nice to meet you, Gabay."

This was just the beginning of your supernatural combat training abroad. When you returned to the Philippines three years later, you were stronger, faster, and more powerful than you'd ever felt before. It was crazy.

Oh, that guy who tried to rob you when you came back to Manila was crazy, too. The two identical-looking men in dark suits and white ties—you wondered how they were surviving the heat in that attire—could only watch in awe as you chased down that man who stole your bag while doing acrobatics and parkour.

"Uy, Kuya Crispin, sino kaya 'yun?"

"Ewan ko, Basilio."

"... She's kind of pretty. Type ko. Type mo rin ata."

"The more important question is, paano niya na nahuli ang magnanakaw?"

"Oo nga, no? One in a million chance 'yan dito sa Maynila, haha! Ang astig ni ate!"

(Next Chapter.)

± Author's Notes ±

Ayieee, type daw tayo ng kambal! 😌

How the hell did I write this entirely random thing in one day? 2k+ words? Ano daw? 😃⁉️

You know, this was supposed to just be a Trese one-shot or a bunch of drabbles for the characters I'm currently simping for... but it turned into a full-blown, shameless self-insert slash crackfic. Kakacellphone ko 'yan. 🤦‍♀️

Nagresearch pa ako ng articles about Filipino skymaidens because I wanted something similiar to the Japanese celestial maidens (tennyo). Very random idea but why not? Gusto ko ng badass Y/N na hindi takot lumaban sa mga mumu! 👻

Also, pagbigyan niyo nalang ang matandang 'to kasi ilang taon na akong hindi nagpopost ng mga writings ko. May track record pa naman ako bilang author na hindi nagtatapos ng mga fanfic, hehe. I also haven't read the comics so please forgive me for any inaccuracies and of course, misspellings/errors. Gusto ko lang matapos 'to para makakabalik na ako sa Jujutsu Kaisen. 🥲😗

Anyways, comments and constructive criticism are welcome! Hit those heart, reblog, and follow buttons for updates! Just comment if you want to be tagged in the next chapters. ❤

#trese #trese netflix #trese 2021 #crispin #basilio #maliksi #dominic #x reader #kambal x reader #crispin x reader #basilio x reader #maliksi x reader #dominic x reader #trese x reader #thera.writes

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heloisedaphnebrightmore · 3 years

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Hot stuff pt. 1|2 [Sirius Black x Reader] - Challenge

Title: Hot stuff pt. 1|2 -> Hot stuff pt. 2|2 - Here! Pairing: Sirius Black x Female!Reader, James Potter x Lily Evans, Marlene McKinnon x Dorcas Meadowes Word count: 6k Published: 16 July 2021 Author: Heloise Daphne Brightmore Notes: College/University!AU Warnings: Swearing, alcohol, intoxication, groping in a club, mention of anxiety Summary: University is causing you a great deal of stress, you are couped up in your room, having your own cave. That is until your friends decide they have had enough and drag you away from your studies for a night out. But when your eyes meet a familiar face, one that you thought you would never see again, you find yourself once again captured by him, the reasonable part of your brain betraying you. Challenge: [x] [x] This is part of @iliveiloveiwrite 's writing challenge

Song inspiration: Hot stuff by Donna Summer and Kygo

Bingo: [x] This is part of my Make me feel Bingo Card by @girl-next-door-writes

Square filled: Bed sharing (in pt.2)

Harry Potter Characters Masterlist | Masterlists

Make me feel Bingo Masterlist

If you enjoy my stories, please consider donating and supporting me on Ko-fi. Of course, it’s completely your choice, I will continue updating for free anyway :) Thank you <3

University has been exhausting. Your studies took up all your time, exams up on exams, unfinished assignments and a bunch of colourful sticky notes decorating your room. You felt like you were digging yourself deeper in your books, but your brain didn't even try to process the information anymore.

Anxiety hit you hard, even after you finished an assignment, your brain screamed to start the next one, however your body wanted nothing but to sleep for eternity. When you finally headed to bed, tucked yourself in, covering your body with the fluffy duvet and shut your eyes, sleep just didn't come.

As if your brain finally processed all that happened since the day you were born, random thoughts appeared in your head. Did you save your essay, have you submitted the right document, where did your favourite trousers go, who invented kettles and why is the sky blue? Your eyes popped open, darkness hugging you, sleep laughing in your face.

Your friends got tired of your ghost like existence and they didn't back down when they decided to attempt to get you out of this hamster wheel.

"Get your ass out of that bed," Marlene, your friend and flatmate barged into your room without knocking. You gowned at the sight of her as you continued to stare at the blank Word document open on your laptop, which was seated on top of the blanket that you covered yourself with. You ignored her presence, trying to at least type one paragraph, unsuccessfully.

"Come on, you can't be cooped up in this room forever," Lily, your other flatmate joined Marlene with a softer, less demanding tone.

"Look, this assignment is due in a month. I have to get this done," you tried to convince them that you were productive. Marlene walked over to you and took your laptop from your lap with a sceptical look as she stared at your empty screen.

"How long have you been working on this?" She asked, her brows raised high, knowing full well the answer to her question.

"Not long," you replied innocently, which earned you a deep sigh from Marlene, one that made you rethink your answer. "Maybe a couple of hours," you rolled your eyes in response.

"You have been working on a blank page for hours? That's what I call productivity," she scoffed.

"I'm trying, okay? I just can't seem to write down a single word," you whined as you pulled your cover over your head, attempting to hide away from your friends and all your problems.

"Of course, you can't. You need to get out, you need to get some fresh air, a new environment. You need to get out of this little cave that you built up," Lily responded this time.

"But I have to finish it," you peeked out of the cover, looking at your friends with pleading eyes.

"And you will, but not today. You are stressing over it like the deadline is tomorrow. Get your ass out of that stinky bed and get ready," Marlene took over with a firm tone.

"It's not stinky," you scoffed in disbelief.

"When did you last change it?" She asked with a suspicious gaze.

"I– 3 weeks ago? I think," you smiled innocently.

"Get out, now!" She grimaced as she pulled the blanket off you and started pushing you off the bed.

"Aright, alright," you replied, your hands right in front of you, giving up resistance. "So, what's the plan?" You asked as you headed to the bathroom and acknowledged that you didn't just need to have a shower and wash your hair, you really needed a good shave because you have let yourself go more than you thought you did.

"We are going clubbing!" Marlene replied enthusiastically.

"Wait what?" Your head snapped towards her direction, your eyes wide in surprise. "I thought we would get some food and maybe chat a bit. I don't want to get drunk, I don't want guys rubbing up on me and I certainly don't want to hear their dumb pick-up lines hoping for a quick shag," you whined in disappointment.

"Honestly, at this point, you just need to get laid," Marlene snickered, which earned an elbow in her ribs from Lily.

"We are not saying that you have to get with a guy, we are simply saying that you should get out, drink a little, dance a little and have fun. If you don't want to go with a guy, it's perfectly fine, but you need to loosen up," Lily seemed more convincing than Marlene and whilst you didn't really feel like partying, you knew your social life has been non-existent and the last party you attended was months and months ago.

You heaved a deep sigh, before you decided. "Fine, I guess I do need to get out there a bit," Marlene and Lily ran up to you, both squeezing you in a loving hug, before ushering you towards the bathroom.

"You stink," Marlene grimaced as she stepped back and nudged you towards the shower, earning a loud groan from you.

It did take you a while to get ready. By the time you finished in the bathroom, the mirror was invisible from the thin layer of fog your hot shower created and you could barely see till the tip of your nose. As soon as you left the room, Lily rushed inside, before Marlene took her sweet time in there.

Clothes covered the carpet and almost each and every furniture as you tried to find what to wear. You had an outfit in mind, but in reality, none of your clothes seemed to fit what you wanted to wear. Marlene and Lily got ready rather quickly. Clothes, make up, hair, all done whilst you were sitting on the edge of your bad in your tracksuit.

"What are you doing?" Marlene walked into your room with a grimace.

"I have nothing to wear," you shrugged nonchalantly. You weren't really worked up about it, it's not like the whole party was your idea to begin with. Marlene just rolled her eyes and started looking around the clothes you threw on the floor, before she headed to the wardrobe to search for something that suited you, but also looked nice enough for a night out.

Luckily Marlene picked out a nice black dress for you. It fitted your body shape perfectly and it looked and felt comfortable. She also picked a white leather jacket and a pair of ankle boots. You often found yourself uncomfortable in anything other than trainers, but you liked what you saw in the mirror. You felt pretty. Make up didn't take long as you weren't keen on wearing too much and you let your hair down, not wanting to bother with a whole work of art sitting on the top of your head.

When all three of you were ready to leave, you called a cab and headed to a rather new club, one that you have never heard of before. The ride was quite quick, within 15 minutes you were at the club, a long queue full of people going just around the corner.

"This will take ages," you whined as you got out of the vehicle, the warm spring night hitting your skin, your jacket seeming just a bit too much for the weather. You took the clothing off and folded it over the tiny bag that hung on your shoulder.

"Or not," Marlene chuckled as she headed to the entrance, making you frown. As you got closer you recognised Dorcas standing in the door, right beside a buffed-up security guy. Marlene hurried her steps and threw herself into Dorcas' arms, kissing her as if they haven't seen each other for days, when in reality Dorcas slept over in your flat the night before.

"I need alcohol for this. I can't handle lovey-dovey couples without being intoxicated," you scoffed, making Lily giggle. You loved Marlene and Dorcas, they were a sweet couple, but deep down you were jealous, and you wished someone would love you as much as they loved each other. Of course, it wasn't a toxic jealousy, you loved how happy they were, but you were slightly bitter about your own love life.

"Come on, what are you waiting for?" Marlene asked as she waved you and Lily to go over to them. Both of you greeted Dorcas with a hug, before you headed inside, following the loved-up couple in front of you.

The music blasted loudly from the speakers, the club was dark, colourful flashing lights providing you with just enough visibility to see the people that stood close by. You groaned at the packed space, trying to squeeze yourself through the sea of people to reach a table that Dorcas reserved for you. Advantages of being friends with someone who manages the club, apparently

You put down your jacket on the back of the black leather seat and took Lily's hand, dragging her to the bar, needing the bitter taste of alcohol in your system. Of course, alcohol wasn't the only reason for your leave, you didn't want to watch Marlene and Dorcas' make-out session, feeling a tad envious.

As you stood at the bar, waiting to be served, a man appeared beside Lily, his messy black hair standing up in all kinds of directions as if the boy just woke up from a nap. He smiled at Lily, his white teeth shining bright even in the dark club. Without a second thought Lily and the boy found themselves in a conversation, leaving you on your own.

You already regretted leaving your cosy little cave, your warm blanket and soft bed. You already knew how the party would play out. Marlene would disappear with Dorcas, Lily would go with this stranger, who called himself James as you overheard and you would be standing there, alone, like a miserable train wreck.

Lily offered you a smile as you ordered your drinks, triple for you, single for her, before she turned back and continued flirting with the boy. He ran his hand through his already messy hair, adjusting his glasses on the bridge of his nose, his smile becoming cheekier as Lily seemed more invested in the conversation. You heaved a deep sigh as you placed the drink in front of Lily, who seemed to be ignoring your presence. Rolling your eyes, you paid for the drinks and left the girl behind.

You flopped down at your table, groaning at the sight of Marlene and Dorcas' intimate moment and sank into the leather seat as you slurped on your drink with a straw, the bitter alcohol burning your throat. You watched people grinding up against each other to the rhythm of the beat, bodies attached to each other as if they were moulded together.

"Can you look less like you want to murder someone and more like you actually want to be here?" Marlene asked as she let go of Dorcas.

"Nah," you replied in a sulking tone.

"Come on, have some fun," Marlene whined in a child-like manner. You offered her a phony smile, that just reassured her how badly you didn't want to be there. "Fine, let's dance," she groaned and dragged you to the dance floor.

You gave her a sceptical look as she started dancing under the flashing lights. Her body moved to the rhythm of the song as if she was in complete sync with the beat. Although you didn't feel like dancing, you couldn't stop your hips from moving along the song, Marlene's vibe rubbing off on you. You drank the last bit of your drink, the alcohol sliding down your throat easier than before as you closed your eyes and enjoyed the beat.

You felt free, finally all your anxiety leaving you, even if just for a mere moment. You let go of yourself, moving to the rhythm, hips swaying from left to right, hands in the air as you enjoyed the music blasting loudly in the club.

Marlene took the empty glass from you as your eyes opened involuntarily. She smiled proudly as she headed back to the table to put your glass down and walk back to you. You danced together, the music completely taking over you, your head finally empty. It was just you and a moment of freedom.

Soon Lily joined you with the stranger you left her with, and a wide smile spread across her lips. She danced with her back to James, his hands holding her hips as he whispered something into her ears. Lily turned around, facing the boy, trying to listen as he said something to her and tilted his head to the side. Lily nodded and watched as the boy left her with you and Marlene.

"That was quick," you snickered, trying to shout louder than the music, before you bit down on your bottom lip, realising how mean that sounded. Lily gave you an annoyed look, but soon it changed back to her happy expression.

"He went to get his friend," she shrugged nonchalantly.

"Yay, one more horny boy," you snorted which earned you a pinch on your arm from Marlene.

"Stop being so negative. Here, drink this," she said as she gave you a glass filled with something that resembled an orange juice, but you were certain Marlene would not be drinking non-alcoholic beverages in a club.

"Are you trying to get me drunk?" You questioned her intentions.

She nodded diligently, not even trying to cover up her motives. "I can't stand you when you are so negative."

"Fine, but you will be taking me home when I'm crawling on the floor," you huffed.

"Or I let a hot guy deal with you," she snickered playfully.

"That's disgusting," you hissed as you finished the glass' content in a swift movement.

"Woah, you'll get so pissed," Marlene laughed loudly as you felt the drink burn your stomach from the inside.

"You wanted me to have fun," you shrugged and for a second you surprised even yourself. But then it was too late to think about your actions though, you already downed the drink. Your head felt slightly dizzy, but the sudden urge to start dancing made you move. The music was just perfect, you felt like you were dancing on clouds as you moved your body, the lights flashing behind your closed eyelids.

"Pre-drinks next time," Lily shouted as she giggled loudly.

You couldn't stop yourself from smiling at the enthusiastic little ball of happiness, nor could you stop smiling just into the air. The alcohol made you feel relaxed and even though you were not one to drink often, you had to accept that it was a good thing on occasions and under surveillance from trusted friends.

James arrived back to Lily, his arms sneaking around her waist, making her giggle. Lily turned around in his arms, dancing with him to the rhythm as he whispered something to her once again. Lily looked behind the boy, as if she was searching for someone. You followed her eyes, getting curious about what was going on.

Your eyes stopped on a boy seated at the bar with a glass in his hand. His long dark locks were tucked behind one ear, the other side falling into his handsome face. You couldn't possibly tell his eyes' colour, but they seemed as light as the sky. He was looking around the club, his eyes studying every inch of the space. His elegant jaw line and parted lips attracted your attention, your eyes focused on the way he downed the last part of his drink, before he removed an escaped drop of liquid from the corner of his lip with the tip of his thumb. His eyes stopped on James finally, offering him a small grin as they seemed to communicate with their eyes, an invisible connection between the two.

You tried to look away, but the odd familiarity of the boy and the sudden realisation felt like a kick in the gut. He looked rugged and rough, but it wasn't his handsome look that forced your eyes to stay on him, but the identity of the person. Sirius Black. His leather jacket casually hung on his shoulders just like the day he offered it to you to warm you up. His white t-shirt was tucked into his black ripped jeans as he tapped his black boots on the floor to the rhythm of the beat, casually enjoying himself as always.

The air stuck in your lungs as his eyes turned to you, a stunned expression across his face, lips parting in surprise as he looked you up and down, staring at you shamelessly. All sorts of thoughts appeared in your head. Were your clothes okay, did your hair look alright, was something stuck in your teeth? You suddenly felt anxious, you suddenly felt like you wanted to look good for him. He was always on your mind, you never forgot about him and now that he was only a few steps away, his mere presence made you feel like you were suffocating.

His eyes stared into yours and however you tried to look away, your body disappointed you. You were frozen as you watched his lips slowly curving into a small smile before it grew into a confident smirk. You scolded yourself for staring so obviously, but it has been a year since you last had the chance to see him, and his smile was just as addictive when you first met him.

You could feel your heart pump heavily under your ribcage, your blood rushing up to your face, your ears closing the loud music out. At that moment you could only concentrate on him. He was a textbook badboy, he always has been, one that you knew you should have stayed away from. But your heart, your eyes, your body all disappointed you and overpowered your mainly logical brain. However hard you tried to force your brain to remember all those nights filled with tears streaming down your cheeks, thrashing around in your bed, attempting to forget his mere existence, now that he was only a couple of feet away, your brain could only remember all the good memories you harboured so dearly. His gentle touches, his deep voice whispering in your ears, his arms sneaking around your waist pulling you against his chest, resting his chin in the crook of your neck, it all came back at once, betraying the logical part of your mind.

Suddenly you felt hotter than before, your palms started sweating, your lips dried out from your uneven breathing. He was looking at you, only you, as if no one else was in the packed club. The handsome grin he offered you made your tummy feel funny for a second. He changed, he seemed more mature, more grown-up, but he was still that confident, cocky boy you met for the first time.

To your surprise you smiled back, the alcohol fighting hard against your will to remain blank. All those painful memories seemed trivial as he smiled at you. You wanted to scold yourself for acting so foolish, but regardless of how painful it was when you parted ways, he always made sure to remind you of how amazing you were in his eyes, how he could barely keep his hands off you, how a simple smile of yours made him feel at ease in the midst of chaos that his life consisted of. You awkwardly shook your head and turned away, trying to compose yourself. Focusing your attention on Marlene, she grinned at you playfully, wiggling her eyebrows, knowing who you were staring at.

"Good choice. I approve," she chuckled making you snort as a laugh escaped your lips and a wide smile spread across your face. Marlene couldn't have known your story, she wasn't in your life when you met the boy.

"Shut up, Mar," you scolded her, but the alcohol didn't let you feel angry. It was as if you were on this happy ride that just kept going up and never wanted to fall. You wanted to be mad at yourself for staring at Sirius so shamelessly, you wanted to be mad at your friend for making fun of you, but you were in a really good mood, finally feeling free as the alcohol rushed through your veins. You didn't want to ruin it for yourself.

Trying to ignore his intense gaze, you placed your focus on the music, dancing to the beat with Marlene as James and Lily kept whispering beside you, before Lily shouted something to you and left with the boy. You watched her back, trying to follow her with your eyes, but soon she disappeared. You looked at Marlene for some advice, but she just shook her head, casually shrugged and continued dancing. And so did you. You just hoped Lily knew what she was doing. Regardless of the slight worry in the pit of your stomach, you decided to just enjoy yourself on the dance floor whilst your favourite songs played as if the DJ knew the music you needed to hear to get you in just the perfect mindset.

But then Marlene tapped you on the shoulder, leaning closer to your ears. "Let me go get Dorcas, I will be back in a sec," she said, leaning back to see you nod. You didn't necessarily want to be left alone, but you couldn't have run after your friends all the time even if they were fine with it. So, you agreed and watched as Marlene battled her way out of the crowd.

You decided to put all your worries aside and continued dancing. You wanted to feel good, you wanted to enjoy yourself. As your hips swayed to the beat, you felt someone's presence behind you and two hands sneaking around your hips. You started slightly panicking, feeling uncomfortable. Turning your head to your left, looking over your shoulder, you met two dark eyes you have not seen before and a stranger whose breath contained more alcohol than you have ever consumed.

"Can you please not?" You spoke up firmly, trying to pry his hands off your body.

"Come on, let's have fun," his speech was slurred, his breath fanning your face, making you grimace.

"I don't want to," you replied as you pushed him away and started looking around, searching for any of your friends. Lily and James were nowhere to be found and as you could catch a glimpse of your table, Marlene and Dorcas were gone too.

"Don't be a bitch. I'll show you a night you'll never forget," he breathed in your face as his arms found their way around your hips once again. You scrunched your nose at the amount of alcohol you inhaled from his breath. You understood that convincing the guy would not work, he was clearly too intoxicated to even process your words.

As you struggled to remove his hands from yourself, you looked around to search for a familiar face. When you looked over your shoulder, you caught sight of Sirius sitting at the bar with his back to the dance floor. Luckily the stranger in front of you was too drunk to even stand properly so you got out of his hold and rushed past him, stopping straight next to Sirius.

"Hi," you greeted him, a tad out of breath. He frowned as he looked at you, clearly not expecting your company, especially not in a distressed form, but he nodded as a greeting. For a second you forgot your eyes on him, admiring his handsome features, but as you looked behind your back, the same drunk guy was closing in on you, trying to stumble over to the bar. "I need to ask for a favour," you stated.

"Yeah? Not the kind of reunion I expected after our last meeting," he replied, clearly confused by you.

"I know, neither do I. But I'm in a bit of trouble," you attempted to explain it quickly as you looked over your shoulder and saw the stranger stumbling over to you. "Could you please pretend to be my boyfriend?" You asked with an expectant expression.

"What?" He asked incredulously, shock sitting across his face, before it turned into a half-smile. "Definitely not the kind of conversation I was expecting from you," he frowned, half taking you seriously, half feeling as if he was being pranked.

"Please?" You pleaded as you got hold of his biceps, trying to convince him. He looked down at your hands squeezing his arm, before he looked back up, his eyes watching the desperate expression across your face.

"Hello, beautiful," you heard as the man appeared, his words slurred. You turned around and looked at him, pulling a face as you realised you were on your own in this situation. It's certainly not the encounter you expected to have with Sirius, but you didn't really have much of a choice at that moment.

"Can you please leave me alone?" You asked the man, staggering in front of you, but you were sure he didn't understand you. He was way too drunk to care.

"Come on now, we are going to have so much fun," he groaned, thrusting his hips forward, imitating what he wanted to do to you. You grimaced at the man's behaviour, trying to forget he ever existed, but then he caught your wrist, squeezing it painfully tight.

Before you could have said anything, Sirius grabbed the man's wrist, tightening his grip on it, his veins popping out as he locked his fingers around the man's lower arm. "I think you should leave." Sirius replied in a calm and composed manner.

"I'm trying," the other guy hissed angrily. "You are kind of in the way," he spit aggressively.

"I meant, you should leave alone," Sirius stood up, stepping between you and the man, but your wrist was still stuck in his hold. The man looked at Sirius, before his eyes wandered to you then back to Sirius.

"It's none of your business," he growled aggressively as if he was trying to intimidate Sirius. But he didn't budge. He stood between the two of you, waiting for the man's reaction.

"Or is it?" Sirius asked in a warning tone. The drunk man seemed to be debating his options, before he finally let go of your wrist. You quickly pulled it back, massaging the skin, that was surely going to be bruised.

"Whatever," he said as he grimaced and begrudgingly left you with Sirius and started searching for possibly another target.

"Thank you," you spoke, looking at Sirius' back, grateful for his help. He turned around with a gentle smile across his face and nodded in response.

"Are you okay?" He asked, taking your wrist gently into his hand, trying to inspect it in the dark lights, his touch sending a shiver through your spine. Although it was difficult to see, a small, but visible dark red mark ran around your wrist.

"It's fine," you replied as you pulled your arm back, getting hold of it with your other hand.

"Do you need a drink?" He asked as he sat back in his seat and pointed at the other one beside him, offering you the chair.

"Maybe I do need one," you sighed as you took the high-chair beside him whilst he ordered two drinks that you have not heard of before. "Sorry that I attacked you out of the blue, but everyone disappeared."

"You don't need to explain yourself. It's perfectly fine," he smiled softly. "Are you sure, you are okay?" He asked as he ran his eyes up and down on you, inspecting you for injuries. Or so you thought. He wasn't necessarily checking if you had any other wounds, he knew he got involved just in time. He was just looking for an excuse to stare at you, but then you couldn't be sure.

However, after the 5th time he ran his eyes over you, you loudly cleared your throat and tried to establish eye contact. "I think you would have found an injury by now if there was any," you giggled to yourself as he turned his head away, trying to look at anyone, but you. If you didn't know better, you would have guessed he was beetroot red and slightly embarrassed, but you knew it wasn't easy to make him blush.

"I was just making sure," he tried to save the situation as he downed his drink, whilst yours still have not been touched. A slightly awkward silence fell between you regardless of the music blasting in full volume before he finally spoke up. "It's good to see you though," he added, scratching the back of his neck, avoiding your gaze.

"It's been a while," you replied with a small smile, not knowing how to react. "How have you been?" You tried to initiate a small talk.

"Oh, so is that how it's going to be?" Sirius shook his head as a cheeky smile started spreading across his face. "I'm not used to you starting casual conversations."

"I guess I've changed," you laughed softly.

"You certainly have. In a good way," he replied as he kept his gaze on you. You couldn't really pinpoint what it was, but it felt like his eyes could read you, as if they pulled you into his addictive aura and you couldn't look away, just like the first time you met him. Back then a glance of his was enough for you to fall on your knees for him, but it's been a while since then and you have indeed changed.

Although there was still a gentle force pulling you towards him, a word, a look, a touch, you wanted it all, craving it as though you were an addict. Memories of him hinting small, reassuring kisses on your neck, arms sneaking around your hips from behind, legs entangled in his bed were all vivid in your mind. You felt your lips getting dry as you recalled some of your time spent together. Shooing away the memories, you quickly downed your drink, the alcohol burning through your throat and stomach. Sirius' eyes widened at your actions, but he didn't have the time to dispute it.

"Where were you?" You heard Marlene's worried voice. You turned around to answer, but before you could have, she grabbed your arm and started dragging you to the dance floor.

"Marlene, I don't really feel like dancing," you tried to shout over the music, but Marlene couldn't hear a word, nor did she seem like she cared. She seemed to be in a rather intoxicated state, one where you knew she needed water, nothing else.

Her hands were above her head, her eyes closed as she moved with the music, jumping up and down. You looked around, trying to find a solution as you stood awkwardly in the middle of the dancefloor. Luckily Lily arrived just in time with James behind her, her lipstick smudged on her face, making you raise a brow as you pointed at your lips. Without words she understood and quickly started removing it with a tissue from her bag.

James was holding two glasses of water, one of which Lily took from him and gave to Marlene who chugged it down within seconds.

After the inconvenient situation you went through and the awkward meeting you had with Sirius, you just wanted to go home and rest. On the other hand though, you didn't want to ruin your friends' mood. You tried to find a way to get out of the situation, when you felt two hands on the side of your hips. You froze in your spot. The hands didn't move, nor did you feel the person grinding up on you. You were stunned for a second, frozen in your spot. Looking at Marlene with two wide eyes and a scared expression across your face, you tried to ask for help, but her cheeky grin revealed the identity of the boy.

You turned your head around to meet those grey irises that saved you not long ago. He smiled at you softly as he tilted his head as if waiting for confirmation that it was okay to dance with you. He didn't say anything, nor did you, but you still communicated without words just like before. The chemistry was still just as strong between the two of you as it was when you first met and even if you tried to deny it, it was pointless. You silently nodded at his request as he started guiding your hips to the rhythm of the music, leaning your back against his chest, his face buried in your neck.

It felt right to dance with him. You could have second guessed yourself, trying to think logically, but you couldn't lie to yourself. You enjoyed being back in his arms once again. His hands were safely on your hips, not trying to wander anywhere else, his eyes seemed more sober than yours as you looked up at him and his smile was genuinely sweet as if he was trying to reassure you that you were safe in his arms.

He didn't try to touch you inappropriately, he didn't try to grind against you, he knew what you needed even after such a long time. He never forgot how to hold you, how to touch you, how to make you feel secure. You turned around in his arms and locked your hands behind his neck, earning a confident grin from him, the corner of his eyes crinkling as his smile grew.

His cologne hit your nose, inhaling his intoxicating scent, the same perfume he used before. His whole presence could have swallowed you and you would have given in without a second thought. It wasn't logical, the alcohol certainly made you more open, but if anyone, it was always him who could easily get you to let your guard down.

His eyes captured yours, his gaze wandering down to your lips more frequently than it would have been appropriate. You could still clearly remember the feel of his lips against yours, his fingers running under your shirt, his touch making you shiver in anticipation. You felt your skin getting hotter, your face flushed from his proximity as you moved in sync with his body. His fingers drew random patterns on your back, his touch soothing against your skin under your dress.

You were never one to crave men in any cases, but he made you feel like you were the only one he needed, the only one in his eyes and that's what made you fall for him back then as well. Still, the reasonable part of your brain didn't want to acknowledge the past. It craved the present. Sirius leaned down to you, placing his face in the curve of your neck, his growing stubble tickling your skin. Your breathing has become uneven, your heart raced at a dangerous pace. His mere presence was addictive enough to make you forget about all your rational thoughts.

"You are still gorgeous," he whispered into your ear, his lips brushing your earlobe, making your cheeks burn furiously.

"You are just saying that because you are drunk," you chuckled as you tried to concentrate on your dangerously beating heart. You felt your own pulse pumping hard under your skin, your body feeling hot in his embrace.

"I'm completely sober. I have not had any alcohol today," he smirked into your neck.

You leaned back to be able to look into his eyes, a deep frown sitting across your forehead. "Wait, what?"

"My drink was alcohol-free, I haven't drunk anything," he shook his head. "And I meant it, you are stunning, hot stuff," he chuckled playfully, earning a quiet laughter from you, his eyes staring straight into yours as his words left his lips. Those plump lips you found yourself staring at, unashamed. "Do you want to get out of here?" He asked with hopeful eyes, but as the question left his lips, you found yourself debating your choices. Should you leave with him and open up all those wounds, should you hurt yourself again, this time intentionally? You just didn't know the answer and his closeness didn't help you think reasonably.

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#sirius black #sirius black x reader #sirius #sirius x reader #girl next door’s make me feel bingo #iliveiloveiwrite3.5k #sirius black imagine #sirius black one shot #sirius black fanfiction #sirius black fanfic #sirius black fluff #james potter #lily evans #dorcas meadowes #marlene mckinnon #marauders #marauders x reader #college au

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reidecorating · 4 years

Text

L'amore Vero È Così (True Love is Like This)

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female Reader

A/N: Woke up with a killer headache after celebrating the end of 2020 and thought writing something loosely based off events that took place on NYE would be a good cure. Hope this year’s been treating you all well!

Word Count: 4.3k

Summary: Summer nights and Spencer Reid make it hard for anyone to keep their hands to themselves. Add David Rossi’s holiday mansion and wine to the mix, and watch a dangerously hot fuse ignite

Warnings: Language (as in cursing AND me just completely butchering Italian), unprotected sex, penetrative sex

Masterlist

Maybe it was the Sauternes. Like a spark igniting along the fuse of dynamite, the sweet sting of white grape travelled down her throat, every sip exploding in kaleidoscopic vision and unfiltered words. Even so, it wasn’t the alcohol she was drunk on. No, not drunk - she wasn’t drunk - she was absolutely intoxicated. Not by anything of substance, but by an overwhelming desire for the man she had arrived with.

Spencer Reid often felt out of place standing in any absurdly large entranceway, belonging to the old Italian with new money, recurrently settling for shifting from shoe to shoe, before taking a deep breath and pressing the doorbell with the hand unoccupied by a bottle he wouldn’t be drinking from. However, his sobriety was far from the cause of his imposter syndrome. Rather, it was the way he always arrived alone, while, what felt like, the rest of the team trickled in with their spouses or significant others. Whilst pairs would dance to vinyl sounds of Bowie, leaving little room for him and the odd number his presence formed in the abacus of the group, he would loiter in a corner, or, on occasion, entertain his godson with a pack of cards. More frequently, he would rattle off excuses about needing the restroom, only to spend his time exploring the corridors of a rather impressive house. A get together at David Rossi’s holiday home was uncommon, and the last time Spencer had wound up here, he found himself inspecting the tiny forgotten library the man housed, attempting to decipher the various foreign books residing on its mahogany shelves as he heard his friends stumbling their way through the Salsa downstairs. L'isola di Arturo, with sterling lettering on its ageing spine showing a familiar pen name, had quickly become his favourite. When he’d first translated the pages, he had chuckled at the parallels between himself and its disconsolate protagonist. However, after years of his ongoing solitude, and lonely arrivals to a castle full of people, he finally had someone on his arm.

“Wait, what does this mean? I can make out the ‘amore’ but not much else,” That someone now squinted at the words his index finger underlined as he read her the words of that very book, aloud. “Hm?” He was visibly distracted by the Patchouli blend of orange and jasmine emanating from her skin as she leaned against his shoulder to read the page herself. “L'amore vero è così,” she whispered, unsure of the correct pronunciation but attempting it anyway. “Non ha nessuno scopo e nessuna ragione, e non si sottomette a nessun potere fuorché alla grazia umana,” she finished in a whisper, affecting Spencer in a way he hadn’t anticipated. Through fluttering eyelashes, she looked up at him, awaiting his rendition, and suddenly the temperature felt as if it had risen. It wasn’t as if she hadn’t been here almost as many times as him; she knew her way around Rossi’s holiday home, but Spencer had insisted on showing her his favourite room, claiming she hadn’t seen it yet. Diverting her attention from Emily’s anecdotes, “I kind of want you all to myself for a little bit,” he whispered in a kiss on her shoulder, proceeding to take her hand and pull her away from chatter over a jug of Cuban rum and homemade pizza - making sure to dissect, in explanation, nearly every painting adorning the maze of hallways on their short trek. He cleared his throat, prying his gaze away from the skin her little black dress revealed, unabashedly scanning her lips before using his own to form words. “True love is like this,” he subtly eyed her reaction to his words as he tried hard to not transliterate the European language. “It has no purpose and no reason, and it does not submit to any power except human grace.” Spencer’s voice was a newly inked quill, ebbing and flowing through the hot air of the dimly lit room. The dark winged butterflies that had been floating around her stomach all evening fluttered in a frenzy at his words, and the way the chartreuse of his eyes had been absorbed by black as they laid on her. “For such a dark story, it’s so beautiful,” she exhaled in a hushed tone, stare not leaving his as he slowly slid the book into the hollow slot where it had previously inhabited, too occupied by reading her demeanour to pay the book any more attention. “You think so? The author, Morante, Elsa Morante, was actually considered the greatest writer of Italy’s postwar generation, at one point.” Spencer began to rest his weight against the wall as they conversed. “I feel as if we always hear about Bassani or Parise, and all the unorthodox things Landolfi wrote in the fifties. It’s very refreshing to hear of a woman getting some well deserved recognition in such a male dominated niche,” she remarked. A dimple appeared on Spencer’s cheek as he grinned at the way she sounded a lot like him. “Agreed. In fact, Morante actually claimed she wished she’d been born a boy, so that she could have all of these heroic adventures. Once, when she was asked about the hero of that book,” he pointed towards the worn copy of L'isola di Arturo, “she commented: ‘Arturo, c’est moi!’,”

“Living vicariously through him? Interesting,” she tilted her head slightly, “I also think its remarkable how beauty can emerge from so much pain,” she mulled aloud. His eyebrows raised at her words and the flux in her tone of voice. Slowly, she stepped towards him, forearms resting on his shoulders, entangling behind him.

Earlier, she’d had the privilege of styling him as he stood in front of their shared mirror, muttering complaints of how he had 'nothing to wear’. Now, she repeated maledictions to herself regarding the clothing she had chosen, in her head, as she admired the way his black shirt was rolled up at the sleeves - displaying intricate nerves shadowing his fingers and arms - and simultaneously unbuttoned temptingly low on his chest, exposing the silver chain presenting a small initial, hers. The summer night had made sure a thin veil of sweat coated his collarbones, glistening with his movements under the lamp light. “It’s not a surprising process though - I mean, after the year you’ve had, just look at how pretty you are,”

“Did you just-” he gulped, chuckling, “use the copious amounts of semi-resolved trauma I harbour to romance me?”

“I may have,” she whispered into the skin below his ear, both hands now tangled in his hair as he remained pressed up against the wall, grateful that every wound, fight and flaw had led them here. And she never ceased to make her gratitude known. Tonight, though, ever since she’d caught sight of his hand gripping a cold glass, the strong concoction presumably belonging to Luke, she hadn’t been able to stop envisioning his body on top of hers. Unbeknownst to her, his thoughts had been very similar from the second she’d chosen to wear the satin fabric, claiming it matched his shirt, while leaving very little to the imagination. “Y/N,” he spoke, his body involuntarily leaning into hers. “We can’t- Not now.” His body language betrayed his words. “I don’t study behaviour for a living, unlike everyone else here, but Spencer, right now, yours tells me we can,” she brought down a hand to squeeze his wrist, which was resting against her lower back. He couldn’t breathe. Tongue in cheek, he shook his head at her, a smirk breaking way. “You, my pretty lady, are something else,” he caved, switching their position in a more urgent manoeuvre than either of them anticipated. Spencer’s hands grasped her jaw, his breath fanning over her before his lips collided with hers, messily. A hand cradled the back of her head, heeding any impact with the wooden blockade behind her, fingers and hair tangling together. Her hands travelled along his body, pinky tugging on his necklace in pursuit of closeness, while her lips roamed around his bobbing Adam’s apple, eliciting an exquisite string of moans. Spencer’s leg wedged itself between hers, slowly grazing his thigh against her, using a firm grip to guide her hips downwards, her soft sighs and tugs at his roots only encouraging him.

The euphoria was short lived. A rapping on the library door tore them apart, its hinges creaking and giving way to an astounded looking Penelope Garcia. “Naughty!” she factitiously gasped. “I didn’t think the good doctor and his fine missus had it in them, but I was very, very wrong,”

“We were just-“ Y/N began, only to be cut off by the tipsy agent. “Save the excuses, beautiful lady. I was simply quested to find you two, and let you know that the rest of us are off to take a dip in the spa. Bring your boy toy, and scrumptious self, and join us ASAP - oh! And no funny business! There are children here,” Penelope gestured her two fingers away from her spectacles and towards each of them as a silent threat of ‘I’m watching you’. Y/N and Spencer exchanged a look, both flushed in different shades of red, on their way to creating a colour wheel. As Penelope spun on her heels and rushed to shut the door behind her, “Thank you, Penelope!” Y/N squeaked, Spencer exclaiming a timid “And sorry!” The two of them broke out into a fit of laughter, still frazzled. “I think I’m getting a little too comfortable with your team,” she grimaced, earning a laugh from the doctor. Later, as Spencer led her towards a bathroom, her arms occupied by a stack of towels, his hand on the small of her back, he dreaded the amount of self control he would need to invoke when the two of them would undress to change.

What she had said wasn’t entirely untrue. She was indeed very comfortable with his team. If Spencer could have met himself, a year ago, anxious to introduce who he was sure was the love of his life to his dearest friends, he would flick himself in the head. She, not alarmingly, managed to get along with everyone, almost better than he did. Somehow managing to find common ground, even with Aaron Hotchner. He recalls, one night, months ago, listening to her and the usually stoic man debate about which broadway production was better: The Producers or The Phantom of the Opera. Spencer also recalls exactly how riled up he became as he watched her put the ex-theatric-gone-lawyer in his place after calling upon Spencer for some Tony Award statistics. Admittedly, he actively needed to combat the green eyed monster on his back whenever she would go jogging with Luke - but the way she kissed him before leaving, on her tiptoes in her running shoes, whispering ‘I love you’, and ‘I’m really only going for Roxy’, helped. She had become family, the invisible stamp of approval having been silently awarded when they all saw the looks the two of them shared, the three subtle squeezes in their woven hands, and the way Spencer now smiled with his teeth - the way they way they would move the moon and the earth for one another.

Packed into the watery sauna, words exchanged between the group travelled into the atmosphere, a waxing gibbous eavesdropping overhead. She watched as Spencer squirmed across from her at the nearness to so many sweaty bodies, shoulders, elbows, knees and toes, belonging to anybody and everybody, poking him. Her eyes trailed along the dips and swells at the base of his neck, decorated in its usual, dainty, shimmering pendant, the bones there protruding as he slouched forward. Spencer’s hair was matted, condensation ironing chestnut ringlets to his forehead, complimenting his heated crimson cheeks. The butterflies returned, her stomach flipping as he ran his hand through the mop of curls to ease his discomfort. More of him - that was what she wanted. She hadn’t noticed, but she had been biting her lip nearly hard enough to draw blood. Pulling her back from her thoughts, a heavy exhale travelled past her left ear, changing the course of the steam emerging from the water - a stream of air enough to deflate a person, she noticed. “I can’t remember the last time I felt this relaxed.” The blonde rested her head against the barrier of the tub, seeing bright patterns on her eyelids as they shut over her eyes momentarily. Y/N reached over and grasped one of her shoulders in a clinical manner. “Who are you, and what have you done with Jennifer and the gruelling tension in her neck and jaw?” She interrogated, lightheartedly. “What can I say? Stress is my middle name,” she chuckled. “While we’re on the topic, though... Maybe you could give me one of those trigger-point massages,” she opened one eye, an iris burning sapphire, the blue only rival to that of the one from The Tell Tale Heart, finding Y/N’s face. Retreating her hand, having made her point, she let out a laugh at JJ’s words, “I’m afraid that’ll cost y-” Y/N’s eyes widened at the familiar dialect of the words, a charlatan on JJ’s tongue. “Wait a minute, can you repeat what you just said, but slowly?”

“Oh, I know you heard me perfectly clear,” JJ smirked at her, eyebrows raising as her eyes shifted between the flustered woman and Spencer.

They had a friendship of unfamiliar closeness, which JJ cherished. After nights of babysitting turning into wining with Merlot and dining on flaming dreaded cheese puffs, stashed away in an airtight container, upon JJ’s arrival home, the two had grown close. The agent was grateful for conversation veering away from work, and for someone seeing her from a different lens; one through which she wasn’t fizzled down to a petrie dish of a mother through a workaholic microscope. Y/N was curious to know how her famous mandatory-Spencer-de-stressing-trigger-point massages had come up in conversation between JJ and her, now guilty looking, boyfriend. She crossed her fingers in hopes that he’d spared the details of the events that usually took place following the neck rubs - another kind of de-stressing altogether. “Do you guys hear that? I think Will’s calling me- and I should go put Henry to bed… It’s quite late…” she exaggerated, wearing a redolent expression as she slunk away with a towel around her cold frame. “We’ll talk later, Jareau,” she looked up at JJ, after the shivering woman squeezed her shoulders in a bid goodnight, waving to the small crowd. Swiftly, Y/N’s gaze met Spencer’s, her figure not having left his vision once.

The yard and small pool was clearing out, save for Luke and Tara bickering in the corner, so, through the bubbling water, she waded in Spencer’s direction, noticing the way he was evidently mentally undressing her. As if by his telepathy, a thin strap of her bathing suit slipped from its place, causing the gears in Spencer’s head to stop turning as he swallowed thickly. “Hey handsome, long time no speak.” A soft smile graced his lips, adoration for her evident, in place of his muted response. Wordlessly, he slipped a finger beneath the strap, tentatively putting it back in place, refusing to break eye contact in some unspoken play for power. “What’re you up to?” She squinted, wondering exactly what his motives were. “Nothing much,” he pulled her closer by the waist, whispering in a gravelly voice only she could hear, “I’m just thinking about how you didn’t get the chance to finish what you started, earlier,”

“Are you implying that you want me to…” she floated onto his lap, hands draping around his neck to steady herself, “pick up where we left off?” The question left her mouth in a breathy whisper, straight into his ear. He turned to look at her, unblinking. “I’m implying, that I’ve had those pretty noises you make replaying in my head all night, and that I’d like to hear them again,”

“Remind me, doctor, which one of us said ‘we can’t’?,” she mocked his whine, rolling her eyes back. “I have a better suggestion, how about you remind me which one of us struggled to stand the last time we played this game?” The calmness of his voice was the antithesis of the fire she was feeling inside her. Satisfied with her speechlessness, his eyes drifted down her body as she pried herself off him, settling in the plastic indent of a hot tub seat to his side. The attention of the pair of lovers were drawn to Tara’s laughter as she stepped into a robe, calling it a night. “What’d we miss?” Spencer’s clueless innocence returned, as if the words he’d spoken before were now out of mind. Devilishly, Tara responded, “Oh, you know, just me completely destroying this man’s ego,”

“Doesn’t take much does it?” Y/N offered Tara her fist in solidarity. “No it does not,” Tara chuckled, bumping it with her own. “You guys do realise that I’m right here?” Luke scoffed, also drying himself off. “I think that adds to their point?” Spencer offered, pursing his lips, amused. “Well, I’m going to go and catch some sleep, and maybe even shed a few tears over what’s been said about me,” he playfully scowled at Tara walking away, throwing a middle finger at him through the air without looking back. “Trust me, they are very professional,” Spencer promised, turning towards his only remaining company in laughter. “I’m sure they are,” she joked returning a smile.

The two of them talked beneath an ink sky, stars like pinpricks in a blanket twinkling through their conversation, until she found herself on Spencer’s lap, once again, the ambience shifting to something far more carnal. Throughout the night, like a band of elastic stretching between two fingers, the tension between them had heightened. Now, they both tested the limits, anticipating its snap. His chlorine skin tasted electric on her tongue as she painted his neck and chest with a lilac rendition of the silver initial dangling there, letting his sighs catch in the shells of her ears. Allowing her tongue to explore his mouth, his hands tightened around her waist. “Mhm, no, Y/N,” he spoke, regaining his fleeting conscience. “This,” — kiss — “is a bad,” — kiss — “idea,”

“Spencer, look,” she glanced over at the house, and his eyes followed suite, craning his neck slightly. “What do you see?” She asked. “Aside from a house bigger than my entire apartment complex?” Her face was a deadpan. “All the lights are out, Spencer,” she gave him a look that said, come on, profiler, figure it out. Not a single connection formed in his head as he stared at the way the luminous blue of the night time water cast ripples on her skin - skin which was all over his. “All the lights are out… It’s late… and everyone’s asleep,” he reasoned, more to himself than in response to her insinuation. “We have no real chance of getting caught, plus…” her dark eyes were obscured by the eyelashes sheltering them as she tilted her head. “Would it be so bad if we did?” Two of her fingers danced along his chest, walking towards the damp hair at the nape of his neck, using the strands to pull him closer. “Everyone knowing exactly how good you make me feel?” She purred the last part in his ear, tugging at the cartilage with her teeth. Spencer partially whimpered. “Don’t hold back, gorgeous boy. You sound as good as you taste.” His eyes shut as his head hit the rim of the spa - only briefly losing himself once her mouth was on him again. “Someone’s talking like they’re in charge,” he tilted her chin up towards him, forcing her eyes onto his own. “I seem to be the one doing all the work here,” she teased. He kissed each of her collarbones, eyes still trained on hers. “You shouldn’t speak so soon.” With that, he undid the top of her swim suit, exposing her chest to the frigid night air, compelling a gasp. “Truthfully, I’ve been thinking about doing this a majority of the night.” The bass in his voice reached her core. “For someone who is so fastidious about cleanliness, you sure have a dirty, dirty mind, doct-” She never had the chance to finish the honorific, his lips moulding around a hardening nipple, allowing his fingers to toy with the other. Rolling his tongue around the bud, he smiled to himself as he heard her call out his name, over and over, as if her voice was coming through a scratched vinyl. “Where’s all the talk from before?”

“You’re evil,” she groaned, her hips bucking against his board short clad body.

Spencers lips travelled along the valley of her breasts, only to hike back up them at a tantalising pace, prehensile fingers covering the ground his mouth couldn’t. Her hands grasped so tight in his hair, he was sure the strands would fall out. A groan of his own left vibrations reverberating through her body, causing her heart to jump. “Alright, you’ve had your fun,” he gnarred, as his hands gripped her wrists, holding them behind her back. With his unoccupied hand, he dipped his fingers into what was left of her apparel. “Is this all for me?” He smirked at the ease with which his fingers slipped over her. “Don’t flatter yourself, we’re in water,”

“You’re so impolite - even when I’m spoiling you,” tutted Spencer. Retroceding his hand, determined to leave her on edge, and her skin a mirror image of his, he continued to pin her fragile hands back against the base of her spine. “S-Spencer, please,” her words struggled to make any sense, “please, I need more,” she panted out, moving purposefully along the growing outline in his shorts. The pleasure was overwhelming. Spencer fiddled with the material still covering her, pulling it aside to make way for himself in between her legs. His eyes softened, silently seeking permission, even as she impatiently pulled down his waistband. When she nodded and eased his ailing with a soft, lingering kiss, he slowly pushed himself into her, never failing to be acutely attentive to her comfort as if it was their first time together. “This was what you were after?” Teased Spencer, his hips speeding up. “So badly,” she uttered out a sigh. “Then take it like you want it.” She craved his adept touch, and she made that known. “S- Spencer, oh god,” she groaned, “you feel so fucking good.” His breathing became heavier, softs grunts and hisses filling her ears with every movement. She buried her face in the crook of his neck, whining in a destitute way at the full feeling. At a slower pace, one of Spencer’s hands guided her hips along himself, while the other traced infinity on her sensitive nerves. “Sweet girl- fuck, you feel like a dream,” he moaned as she tightened around him. Her toes curled, the warm water of the pool splashing her bare skin. Spencer occupied all of her senses, the same way she did his. “I’m so close,” she whimpered, before he used his nose to nudge her face upwards, her momentarily open eyes reflecting constellations. Spencer kissed her once more. Her hands long freed from his grip, she left traces of herself in the form of tiny red sickles on his freckled back as her nails released some frustration.

Dragging her fingers along his torso, she felt the muscles of his stomach tighten, hers doing the same. Shaky sighs wavered from her lips at the bliss Spencer was providing. “Keep your eyes open for me, angel,” she tried her hardest to focus on his lustfully blown pupils. “That’s it. Just look at what you do to me,” he gasped out, head falling backwards, eye contact broken - only for a second - before he gulped and looked back at her. “You’re breathtaking,” she whispered, hoarsely, stroking his sweaty cheekbone with her thumb. She could recognise the golden gates of heaven in his eyes as he came undone inside her, warmth spilling over her in every aspect. The knots in her stomach loosened shortly after his, curses spilling from both of them. She rode him through his release, fond of the way he left light kisses on her temple, whispering compliments and confessions of love. Once he was sure she’d caught her breath, and some air had returned to his own lungs, he kissed her, gently, in the summer sauna heat, beneath the stars.

A loud cough startled the two. Stood in the open French doors of the veranda, scotch in hand, and eyes screwed shut, was David Rossi. Their minds were in the same place, wondering why they hadn't listened to Penelope’s drunken advice. “When you two are done, please remember to turn the tub lights off - and put the filter on high.” She hid herself in Spencer’s chest, heartbeat in her ears, contemplating holding her breath for a really, really long time. Spencer was flushed red, his own nose buried in her neck so as to not face the older man. “Or better yet, put some money together to buy me an entirely new spa,” Rossi, laughed, opening one eye to catch sight of Spencer giving him a shameful thumbs up. Even as Rossi wandered away, their embarrassment remained a fresh burn. Spencer groaned as her tired hand fumbled with his disastrous hair, “I don’t even want to begin thinking about how much of that he heard,”

“Or saw,”

“Don’t!”

“I’m never going to be invited here ever again, am I?”

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tipsydipsydo · 4 years

Text

Pairing: Taehyung x Reader

Gender of the Reader: female

Word Count: 3.5k

Rating: 18+

Genre: Angst; Fluff; Smut

AU: Historical/Middle Age! AU

Warnings: arranged + forced marriage; gender roles according to the period; sexual themes + sexual language; Praising; Body-Worship; Nipple Play; Fingering; First experience of an orgasm; Loss of virginity (unprotected Sex)

Summary: You're getting married tomorrow and you want to say goodbye to your mare. There you met the stable boy Taehyung for the last time, who's your best friend and childhood crush at the same time. You will experience a stormy night full of love and passion and you'll give the biggest proof of love to him...

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With a thumping heart you peep around the corner, but the cold hallway with high stone walls lies quietly in front of you, only a few candles in their stands lit up the long corridor. The servants must have finally retired to their own rooms and even the last noises in the courtyard has fallen silent. It must be close to midnight, but you couldn't sneak away earlier. The danger of being caught has been too big. But now you grab the thin skirt of your white night gown and lift it a little bit up, so that you could walk as silently as possible along the corridor, across the courtyard to the horse stable. Light-footed you quickly put one foot in front of the other, the bright Full Moon guides you with its light the way to the stable. Quietly you open the small side door and slip in, where you’re greeted the familiar smell of horse, hay and leather.

Here, too, the torches were extinguished late. Just thinking about what a momentous day tomorrow will be will make you sick and silent tears run down your cheeks. Tomorrow you will be your wedding with a man who was already over thirty years old when you were born and whom you didn't even really know. He was here once two months ago so that you two could „get acquainted" with each other. Theobald, as he is called, has a bald head, an ugly potbelly and with every, almost frightening smirk you could get a glimpse of yellow teeth. At your first meeting, he had already patterned you with such a disgustingly lustful look that a cold shudder ran down your back and still makes you nauseous at the thought of it.

Your eyes are slowly getting used to the darkness, fortunately some Moonlight falls through the small ventilation hatches, so you can reach the last Box without tripping over something. Securely you open the door and gently push the butt of my beloved Grey Mare Estrilda to the side. Curiously, she lifts her big, noble head and turns a little to you. As if she knows what will happen to you tomorrow, she tenderly presses her head against your chest. Until now you had only cried quietly for yourself, but now, you bury your face in her soft, long mane and let your feelings run free. Why didn't your mother, when you were born, take action against being promised to such an old man?

But every time you asked her, she just shrugged with her shoulders helplessly and murmured softly,"that's just how it is, Y/N. I wanted to talk to your father, but he only saw the opportunity in finally reconciling two hostile Empires. With this marriage. You have to believe me, dear. I was hoping for something different for you. That you will be happier than I am. That you can live your life more in more freedom."

You have always been different, your curiosity, your stubbornness and your self-confidence do not correspond to the expectations one has of a daughter of the noble family. You love horses and riding, you can't do anything with jewelry, dresses out of expensive silk and velvet or perfumes. You loved to ride in the big hunt at least once a year and go hunting with your falcon Alan. You are not interested in the easy, comfortable life as the wife of a nobleman. You would much rather have helped once in the kitchen and learned how to cook a meal. But this was strictly forbidden to you, after all you are not a maid! Your wish is simply to be allowed to be as you want it to be. You do not care whether it is appropriate for a woman of your rank or not.

Your body slowly calms down from the convulsion and one last time you take the smell of your beloved mare deep into your lungs. Because she will stay here while you return to his estate with your new husband. That would become your new home. Although the wedding party will be celebrated here... but you will spend our wedding night with him on his castle. Then you will be trapped in the clutches of a sadistic, cruel and heartless ruler. You have heard some whisperings and rumors from the other Kingdom. The thought lies like a bitter, putrid taste on your tongue and your stomach twists at the thought that you have to show yourself naked to this disgusting man. You would rather burn at the stake as a wicked whore than surrender your virginity to him.

Suddenly, you hear the clatter of a fallen bucket and a dull cursing behind you, which is why you‘re startled and push yourself out of instinct into the darkest corner of the horse box. In vain, because the shadowy figure steps closer and opens the box door. Your heart beats fast, who is that and would he betray you for wandering around in the stable at night? But your anxious heart romptly calms down as you look into the soft and gentle face of Taehyung, the stable boy.

"Y/N? What are you doing here, wouldn't you have to sleep since a long time? After all, tomorrow is your wedding.", the last sentence spit Taehyung literally out. A relieved smile comes to your lips when you see your only and best friend. "Taehyung...", you murmur and fall into his arms, trying your best to suppress a sob. His muscular arms are wrapping themself around you, holding you and run tenderly his fingers through your hair.

The first time you met was on your eleventh birthday when you received Estrilda as a birthday present and he was assigned to look after the welfare of your horse. At that time he had already been fifteen, and now, nine years later, he has matured into a handsome twenty-Four year old man. He is the only one who ever understood you and even offered to run away with him when you found out about your marriage. But you would be looked for all over the country and everything would be more like a deadly skewer, which is why you sadly but thankfully refused. Above all, you do not want to expose your beloved mother to the cruel anger of your father, he would blame her if one morning you could no longer be found. It is inevitable that you must marry this disgusting, sadistic devil, whether you like it or not. But one thing you will decide for yourself...

Taehyung's masculine smell of sweat and horse calms you down more than ever and you snuggle up sobbing at his chest, steeled muscles from the daily hard work. You let your feelings run free and enjoys the gentle caresses he gives you. He is even more against the wedding than you and you have already guessed the reason for a long time. He develops feelings for you, which would go beyond your normal friendship-relationship. This assumption triggers a gentle flutter in your stomach and you wish you could be even closer to him than you already are. You both knew it, but you have never really said it out loud. For this fact requires no words. You’re in love with each other.

It was clear from the beginning that this fragile love has no future, and yet it feels so right, even though it is completely wrong. But he gives you the affection and attention that even your own mother could never give to you. Tonight, you want to give something to Taehyung that would belong to himcompletely alone. Nobody could ever steal it from him, this gift is irreplaceable.

It would be your virginity. If you have to marry such a cruel man, you want to give your innocence to someone who has proved to be worthy enough. Taehyung is worthy for it.

You detach yourself a little from his chest and look up into those beautiful dark brown eyes in which you‘re threaten to drown every time. Your fingers glide up to his strong neck, through his soft, black curls and tug on them gently until he moans softly.

“Tae... From tomorrow we will not see each other again. We only have this night left. I have already given you my heart, it will remain yours forever. But tonight I want to give you something else... My virginity shall be yours.”, you breathe softly against his lips.

Taehyung startles and looks down at you in disbelief. "B-But Y/N...I-I could never accept something like this! Such a thing like your virginity belongs to Theo-", he rambles overwhelmed and want to turn your opinion against that idea,but you just press your lips almost violently onto his.

"No. It should never belong to Theobald. If I already have to make the marriage covenant with him, then I want to be able to decide by whom my virginity will be token!", you reply to your lover and bite him hard into the lower lip.

He is still visibly surprised, but now your passion reaches him too and he respond with the same desire to your kiss. Your tongues find each other and starts a wild catching game. Heat rises in your bodies, reaches every pore of your body and makes this unknown feeling of pleasure pulsate through your veins. You long for Taehyung's love, one last time you want to feel his affection before you go to hell tomorrow. At least once you want to see heaven before you are banished to hell for the Rest of your life. The breath of your loved one becomes faster, he is panting, this kiss alone pushes you both in such a tremendous passion, which you have kept so forcibly hidden from each other otherwise.

"L-Let‘s go to the hayloft...", Taehyung murmurs at your neck in a deep, hoarse voice. You nod breathlessly, you are completely overwhelmed by the feelings that a simple kiss can trigger in you if you just love someone with your whole heart. Securely, you climb one by one the narrow wooden ladder up to the hayloft and you two throw tightly wrapped up into the hay. Your lips can hardly keep away from each other. The desire and longing for Taehyung increases every moment.

"Please...", you whisper in a whimpering voice, your body feels like it's on fire and this unknown longing for union drags you into a swirl. But Taehyung wants to get to know you and your breathtaking body, trying to memorize as much as possible. He never wants to forget how you look, feel, smell and taste. The cords of your nightgown are opened unnoticed by him, suddenly you just feel the scratchy hay under you and his loving hands on your skin.

"Beautiful.... So beautiful...", he mutters again and again under his breath. His eyes wanders over your exposed body, blown out eyes lingering on your breasts. Taehyung admired you silently since you’ve met for the first time, you always took his breath with your beauty away. Especially the last few years he realized what kind of effect you have on him, how you’ve grown up from the little wild princess to a confident young Lady. How his own and your Body has changed of the years and with it, how his maybe not so innocent desires awakened in him.

You are gorgeous, he can’t even describe your majestic body in words properly, you leave him speechless. You look better than in his sinfully fantasies he has at night, tossing his sweaty and needy Self around in Bed, trying to prevent those indecent thoughts about his own best friend. Well, his love of his life. He shouldn’t think that way about the princess, is he insane or something?! Still, he couldn’t reject his feelings for you, neither you could.

You both will end up in hell, you’re doing so sinful things right now but why they’re feeling so good? Why is it a sin to have such desires, to have the need to feel so close to each other, why are you sinning when you feel so much love, desire and pleasure that you couldn’t bear it anymore? You couldn’t understand and you would never.

„My royal highness, m-may I ask if you allow me to touch your Breasts?”, stutter Taehyung out, gulping hard and biting his lower lip in desperation. He knows he would hurt you somehow through fusion of your bodies but alone the thought of it hurts him right in his heart. Taehyung doesn’t wants to be the one who’s hurting you, he wants that you’ll keep this night as good as possible in your memory.

„O-Oh my god, Taehyung... d-don’t call me that, please just call me by my Name. ...and please, oh please touch me, I want to feel your Hands all over my Body!”, you pant out whimpering, arching your spine to encourage Taehyung in his actions.

A deep, longing moans leaves his lips, finally touching and kissing every conceivable part of your body. For the first time and probably also for the last time in your life, you will learn what this true love is. Something of which so many Minnesingers always sing about. It feels so indescribably good that the tears are just running down your cheeks, you can’t hold them anymore, you feel too good, too loved. Only this night you want to see heaven before you have to burn in hell as a deflowered whore until the end of your life. But this one time is worthy for you to sin. A lustful moan escapes your lips as his lips enclose one of your nipples and caress them tenderly with his tongue.

Countless whispers and pleads are falling from your slightly parted lips, you’re chanting his name like a mantra. Every noise that comes from your tongue let Taehyung‘s need to pleasure you even more grow. Almost helpless, as if you’re drowning, you grab Tae‘s strong Biceps and look up to him. Your eyes are sparkling from the tears which ran down your cheeks, the unconditional love in them is crushing Taehyung‘s Soul.

"Oh Y/N, I love you so much... I don’t know how to express them so they would portray the pure feelings I have for you in my chest, in my soul. Please let me show you something else...", he wispers into your ear, nibbling tenderly on your earlobe.

His other hand glides through the valley of your breasts, over your stomach down your sweet and hot center. You whine softly, you’re a little flustered, nobody touched you down there in such a way before. Almost automatically your thighs want to close again, just Taehyung’s gentle and caressing hand keep you from doing so.

"Shhh, my precious Angel, don’t be ashamed... you’re gorgeous and so beautiful, you can’t imagine how bad I want you. You smell so delicious, you’re driving me insane! Would you like to continue or should I stop? I will do whatever you want, just tell me..", murmurs Taehyung’s low voice, you can clearly hear the tremble of arousal in it. After you took a few deep breaths to calm your oversensitive nerves, you’re spreading slowly your thighs for him.

Taehyung‘s eyes are fixated on your face, watching patiently your facial reactions for any discomfort. Now, his hand is coming to life again and moves forward until it disappeared between your legs. His fingertips moves incredibly gentle over your soft pussy lips, slowly parting them and let his fingers soak in your lust juice. They run up and down, teasing your clit and preparing your entrance for his length.

Waves of Lust electrify your whole Body, every fiber and nerve is pumped full of sexual desire and you’re gasping for air. You’ve never felt that way before, you have no clue what kind of sweet spot that is but you want Taehyung to touch it over and over again.

Why does sinning feels so incredible good? You’re fallen for the devils work, you love sinning when it feels that amazing.

"Please, please, please... Taehyung, do that again, it feels so good-", you sob out, holding on his broad shoulders as if your life depends on him. Honestly, it does.

"Yeah? Does that feel good, my Princess? Do you want more?", rasps your beloved Taehyung. His fingers speeds up, flicking your cute little pearl with his thumb in a rapid pace now. His middle and ringfinger is pounding into your tight, pulsating channel and is stretching you open. His movement creates lewd squelching noises which makes you a little blush. The coil of lust in your abdomen grows unstoppable, you don’t know to handle this unfamiliar feeling. Your Body is shaking, whimpers and choked out whines filling the hay loft. You don’t understand what is happening, just pure unfiltered need and desire clouded your mind and you can’t think straight anymore.

"Oh my- Oh my god, Tae... I-I am... I don’t know what is happening-"

"I know Baby, everything is okay, just let yourself go... I‘m here, I will catch you when you’re falling apart..."

It just needs a few more strokes of his thumb on your oversensitive clit until the ball of pleasure bursts open and fills every pore of your body with pure ecstasy. You can’t hold your tears of pleasure back anymore, the small and so precious diamonds are rolling out of the corner of your eye until Taehyung’s Lips are catching them.

"Baby... are you alright? Did it felt good?", he asks quietly and rubs soothingly over the top of your thighs. Avoiding your center on purpose, he doesn’t want to overstimulate you even further.

"T-Tae... that- that felt so good... h-how did you do that? I-I can’t hold my tears back, I am sorry!" A weak sob leaves your lips and you bury your face into Taehyung’s chest. He caress you gently, whispering sweet nothings and praises into your ear, worshipping you to the fullest. Promising you to show you how you can make yourself feeling that good, teaching you how you can make love to yourself.

After you came down from your high, you gently grab the soft baby hair in his nape and move his face towards you.

"Taehyung, I want to feel you as close as possible, I want to merge with you, I want to make love to you- ...I want you.", you whisper and hold his face in your hands, looking him deep into his eyes.

"Oh, I will... I will serve you with everything you wants,my Dear. Please lay down and spread those beautiful legs for me again...", he answers and smile softly at you. The sweet love names he picked for you makes your stomach flutter und the blush on your cheeks is darkening. Taehyung gives you a last sweet smile full of love before your lips meet again and he pushes into you.

A short, stabbing pain flares through your body, but that was all. He holds still into you until you give him the permission to move. At first, it was a slow and gentle rhythm but your sweet moans and whimpers encourage him to go faster and in the end he looses all his control over his suppressed sexual needs. Making love to you in the most passionate way possible.

He shows you the heaven on earth and love takes on a whole new meaning for you. You trust him unconditionally and he shows you that you are equal. You are an equal woman, an equal person for him. He loves and respects you. All this is the most beautiful thing you have ever experienced in your life. You have given him your virginity and he has given you a son with these wonderful brown eyes and dark curls.

"Mother, why do you always cry when you see me? I didn't do anything today... ", asks your little six-year-old son and looked at you questioningly with those chocolate brown eyes that bring you to tears every time.

"You look so much like your father. Your real father."you say quietly.

"Did he hurt you, Mommy?", he asks with big fearfully eyes and you quickly shake your head.

"No, not at all! H-He had been the only man who had ever really loved me...“

„...the only one to whom my heart will forever belong."will you bring barely audible over your lips.

#btswritersguild #bangtanhq #bts smut #taehyung middle age au #bts x reader #bangtanarmynet #taehyung smut #bts medieval au #thehouseofbangtan #taehyung x reader #purplearmynet #bts x reader smut #bts angst #deflowered #bts fluff #bts x reader medieval

225 notes · View notes

baepsaesbae · 4 years

Text

Since Day One

Pairing— Park Jimin x female reader

Genre— college au, friends to lovers au, smut, FLUFF (this is so soft)

Warnings— oral (fem and male receiving), sex in general but nothing crazy, Jimin being a mushy baby oof my heart melted

Word Count— ~5.1k

Summary— You’re best friends with the sweetest guy on Earth, Park Jimin. Of course, you’d be his girlfriend in a heartbeat if he asked. If only...

Your love life has been fruitless since...well since you were born. There’s been the occasional fling here and there, but you cut it off as soon as you realized they were only after sex and nothing more. You yearn for something meaningful with just about anyone now. If a cute boy is somewhat nice to you for even a second, you catch yourself fantasizing about going on a honeymoon with him. You were lost in your thoughts until a familiar voice brought you back to reality.

“Hello? ___? Is anyone home? Oh wow look at that super cute dog--”

“Where?” you crane your neck to look out the cafe window in hopes of spotting the dog.

“There is no dog. I just needed your attention. What do you think of this layout for the presentation?” Jimin asked.

Park Jimin has been your best friend since day one. Literally. Both your moms were best friends, so it was inevitable that you guys would be besties too. You guys attend the same University now, and even though your majors were different, you managed to get into the same mandatory elective.

“Yeah, that looks fine. Sorry, you know I don’t really care for what old white dudes had to say about, well, literally anything,” you reply.

“Neither do I. But the ancient Greeks had a lot to say about the birth of philosophy so here we are. Also if you can’t pay attention to our project, at least pay attention to me!” Jimin pouted.

Jimin has always been a needy baby, but only when it comes to you for some reason. Jimin has been a heartthrob since elementary school and proceeded to become class president starting in middle school. He won every year in a row (thanks to all the girls voting for him). Even though he won because of his popularity, he was still an extremely hardworking student. He made sure the council’s ideas were all heard and worked his hardest to implement whatever project they wanted that year. You admired-- and albeit were a little jealous-- of how perfect Jimin was. During high school, you realized you might have had a crush on him, but you quickly nipped that in the bud. Having a crush on your best friend? You couldn’t risk your friendship like that, it meant too much to you.

With that said, Jimin had always looked up to you as well. He loved the way you always spoke your mind, a trait that often got you in trouble in school. He loved the way you would apply yourself to something you’re passionate about and was delighted when you announced that you would be going to pursue your passion in art. Luckily for him, you both ended up at the same University. Jimin also loved that he knew the real you. Other people would probably say that you’re “cool” but have a cold demeanor, but he knew better. He knew that you were a huge sappy hopeless romantic, but would never tell anyone that. Anyone other than him of course.

“Yeah yeah okay you big baby. You want me to hold your hand too?” you teased, looking over the presentation one last time.

“Actually, yes I do,” Jimin smiled innocently as he plopped his hand onto the table. You rolled your eyes and took his hand anyway. He always does this. You always chalk it up to Jimin just being an affectionate guy, but what you don’t realize is that he’ll look for any excuse to be with you. He’ll do anything to be yours, but you’re too oblivious to all his tactics. Had you known that he had a crush on you, you would’ve pounced on him on the spot. But for now, you’re more than happy to call him your best friend.

“Well, I just turned it in for us. Congrats, now you have the rest of your weekend free from philosophy hell! Have any plans?” you ask.

“Not yet. But we can make plans! You wanna watch a movie at my place? We can order in and celebrate by being lazy! My roommates are gone for the weekend so we can do whatever we want. You kind of have to say yes because I already got a surprise for you,” Jimin smiled deviously.

“Oh yeah? Guess we do have plans then, I’m in. What’s the surprise?” you cock your head.

“I can’t tell you because it’s a surprise, dummy. Let me go back first to clean up a little, I don’t want you to think I’m living in a pigsty,” Jimin starts packing up his stuff.

“I’ve been over there plenty of times, I already know that you’re living in a pigsty,” you tease. Jimin gives you an overexaggerated shocked face.

“Well, then you should know that all that mess is made by my roommates. Not me. Just appreciate the fact that I care about you enough to clean up for you,” Jimin sasses.

“You care for me? How sweet! I never would have known. I’ll go back to my place and take a quick shower. I’ll text you when I’m heading over,” you shoot him a smile as you turn to walk back to your apartment.

“Sounds good! Actually, call me when you’re ready, and I’ll come pick you up,” Jimin stated.

“What? No, you don’t have to--”

“I insist!”

“I’ve walked to your place countless times. It’s fine I can--”

“I wanna come pick you up!” Jimin whines. You give in. There’s no use in arguing with him when he’s like this.

“Okay fine! See you later, weirdo,” you laugh. You wave and head back to your apartment.

Back at your apartment, you slip into the shower and crank the temperature to the sweet spot between a soothing flow of hot water and scalding your skin. The shower has always been your safe space where your thoughts could float from one cloud to the next without the fear of judgment by anyone. You wonder what Jimin could possibly have brewed up this time. He was never the type to surprise anyone, so you are puzzled as to what spurred up this novel side of Jimin. Even though your thoughts beg you to stay in the shower just a bit longer, you force yourself out and quickly pat down your body.

Although you had long since snipped the feelings you had for Jimin, the small bud still had its roots somewhere deep inside of you. You realize this as your heart sputters erratically with the thought of being surprised by Jimin. Looking in the mirror, you see your face has taken on an unfamiliar glow and excitement. It’s just platonic, you remind yourself, but the flush in your face betrayed what your mind was saying.

With your towel wrapped around you, you scan your closet for something to wear. You remind yourself that it wasn’t that serious because it was Jimin. Your day one. Your supposed “brother” figure. Just one of the guys, you remind yourself. So after a few minutes of deliberation, you decide on a t-shirt and jeans (typical). However, before you walk out the door you slip on the bracelet that Jimin had made you back in elementary school.

It was weathered now, the letters on the beads were losing their colors, but it fits onto your wrist with a familiarity that calmed you. You call Jimin, as he insisted that you should, and when he picks up any nervousness that you had felt in the shower is mellowed by the familiarity of his voice.

“___! You ready for me to come over and pick you up?” Jimin’s voice is sprightly, as if the only thing containing him from bursting was a thin film of cellophane. You smile, wondering why you ever doubted in the first place.

“Yup!” you answer, “But I’m not patient, so hurry up!”

Jimin’s car pulled up to your apartment complex promptly five minutes after you had called him, and you feel your heart do a small jig again as you still haven’t got a single clue as to what surprise he had in store for you. You slip into the passenger seat as you had done countless times before, but this time...this time felt different. Not off, just...different.

The drive to Jimin’s place wasn’t long, but for some reason, the minutes seemed to drag on for what felt like an eternity. As Jimin’s car neared the familiar facade of his apartment complex, you felt the excitement build up in your chest. Jimin parks the car and promptly makes his way to your side before you can even get your seatbelt all the way off.

“I can’t wait for you to see what I have planned for you,” his usual charm is cranked up all the way, and you blush but you try to push that softness into the platonic zone.

“If it isn’t a good surprise, you’re legally obligated to pay for the pizza tonight,” you teased him lightly. Knowing Jimin and his characteristic ways of getting everyone to like him you knew that he wasn’t one to disappoint.

Jimin dramatically wiped invisible tears from his eyes, “You do not have enough faith in me, ___.” He extended his hand expectantly, and although you were caught off guard, you quickly accept his outstretched hand. Just friends, remember? As he helps you out of his car, you feel the blush bloom into what you were horrified was reminiscent of a cherry tomato. You hope your hand wasn’t clammy, but you try to remind yourself that he’s seen the worst of you since you were a child. He can handle some sweaty palms.

After making your way to the door, Jimin steps in front of you with both of his hands up, “Hold on. You have to close your eyes.”

“Jimin,” you roll your eyes, but he made his signature puppy face that had a 100% success rate of making you yield to him. You chuckled breathily, but comply, “Alright, dummy.”

You hear the sound of the rickety wooden door open and try to overcome the urge to peek. To your surprise, Jimin’s hands are on your shoulders, and you can feel his breath on your neck. It sends your heart into another race, and you hope that he doesn’t hear the pounding in your chest. Jimin guides you into his apartment, cautious to not let you bump into anything. Finally, he stops, and his hands leave your shoulders.

“Okay, you can open your eyes now!”

When you do, your eyes are somewhat overwhelmed. His living room is decorated with little fairy lights, and little glow in the dark stars speckled his usually plain white walls. The best part, though, was the tent that was smack dab in the middle of the living room. There were pillows that paved a way towards the humble abode. You hear laughter that sounds like the prettiest of bells, and you realize that it’s coming from you.

“We always wanted to make a hideout with pillows and blankets, but we never really got around to it,” Jimin began to explain, “So I...I just thought you’d like it…”

You pounce onto him with a fierceness that almost sends him backward, “Oh Jimin, I love it so much!” His arms, though initially surprised from your attack, hug you back in a warm, familiar embrace. Without warning, you feel his lips press into the side of your face, and you freeze up for a minute. The tenderness of his kiss makes you melt, and before long you thaw up and don’t even bother to break the embrace.

“___, I have something to tell you,” Jimin whispers, his voice muffled as he snuggles his face into your hair. If your heart was racing before, now it was beating absolutely manically, but you don’t move. Could it be?

You return the affection by snuggling back into him, your heart pounding so hard you’re almost certain he could hear it, “Yes Jiminie?”

“I couldn’t choose between Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings. I know you love both so I figured you can choose,” he giggled into your ear. You feel your heart deflate, but were quick to cast the disappointment aside.

“Can we pick a Studio Ghibli movie instead? I feel like that would fit the vibe better,” you hear your voice waver. You hoped Jimin didn’t notice it.

“We can absolutely do that! Great choice. Mmm, you wanna watch Spirited Away? I know that’s your favorite,” Jimin pulls away from you to venture over to his DVD collection.

You nod your head and give him a warm smile. You admonish yourself for getting your hopes up. Jimin is your best friend. He’s also such a sweetheart. Of course he would do this for his best friend. His day one bud.

Jimin puts on the movie and crawled into the tent. He wiggled his butt at you to make you laugh before turning around and gesturing for you to join him.

“Wait! Can you bring some pillows pleaaaase? I thought they’d help tie everything together as a walkway--which they totally did-- but those are all that I have,” Jimin gave you an innocent smile.

You roll your eyes at him but couldn’t suppress your smile as you launched the pillows at him.

“We can have a pillow fight after the movie! Get your ass in here,” Jimin whined.

“Coming! Wait, do you want me to get snacks first?” you ask.

“You really do not have enough faith in me. Everything we’d ever need is already here! Except for the most important thing. You,” Jimin’s lips curled into a soft smile.

“Alright you big mushball, scoot over,” you crawl in beside him. Your heart skipped a beat when he called you the most important thing, but again, you set it aside. He says these kinds of things all the time, and yet everything feels different tonight.

You sat side by side, huddled together under a shared blanket once the movie started. A wave of nostalgia washed over you as you ate your pizza topped with popcorn. Jimin thought it was gross, but you always argued that it was the most efficient way to eat during movie nights. As Haku and Chihiro made their way into the bathhouse, Jimin leaned closer to you.

“Done eating?” he whispered.

“Yeah, what’s up?” you respond, not taking your eyes off the screen.

“Can we...cuddle?” Jimin asked shyly.

“Are we not cuddling right now?” you say dryly.

“No I mean like... cuddle cuddle. I’m not really comfortable like this,” Jimin said. You look over to him and see him looking at the floor, his cheeks were barely visible in the dim lighting but you could tell they were flushed.

“Sure Jiminie, we can cuddle. How do you want me?” you ask.

Jimin pauses the movie and repositions the pillows. He lays down sideways with the pillows comfortably propping up his head.

“Come be my little spoon, y/n,” he says reaching out to you.

You smile and wiggle back into the tent to join him. You lay beside him, using his arm as your pillow (Jimin is gonna regret that later but he didn’t have the heart to ask you to move). You get as comfortable as you could in front of him, while still leaving a little gap between you two. As you open your mouth to tell him that you’re ready, Jimin wraps an arm around you to pull you into him. You let out a soft gasp as you feel your back rub up against his chest--which was surprisingly firm.

“Is this okay?” he asked, his breath tickling your ear.

“Yeah I’m good, can you see?” you’re relieved that he can’t see you, as your face heated up and was most definitely red.

“Yeah, you’re perfect.”

“What?”

“I mean, this is perfect. This uh position is perfect...I’m comfortable. Unless you’re not. Then I’m not. I mean uh--”

“Okay silly, then play the movie,” you chuckle at how cute he was.

Jimin normally never loses his charm, so hearing him stumble over his words was rare. Jimin gave you a tight squeeze after he hit play, and the two of you remained like that for the remainder of the movie.

After the movie finished, you were nearly asleep in Jimin’s arms. Spirited Away always put you at ease, since you had nothing but happy childhood memories associated with it.

“___~” Jimin softly sang in your ear.

“Whaaaaat~” you sang back.

“Thanks for coming over tonight, even though I gave you no choice,” Jimin said, nuzzling your ear.

“Of course, what are best friends for?” you giggle, he knew your ears were ticklish, “You kicking me out now?”

“Not yet. You know how I said I had something to tell you earlier?”

“Yeah, asking me to choose between Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings?”

“Yeah that. That’s actually not really what I wanted to say. I mean I was going to ask you that because I really couldn’t choose but--”

“Just spit it out, Jimin,” you turn around to face him, his face just a few inches from yours. Jimin sighed and leaned closer to you, resting his forehead against yours.

“I’vebeeninlovewithyouforsolongIcan’thideitanymore,” he blurted out in one breath.

You were shocked. You didn’t know how to react. You couldn’t tell if it was relief, surprise, or excitement that flooded your mind. All you knew was that your heart was soaring. You’ve never experienced such happiness from one sentence before. You pondered all of this in silence before you realized that Jimin was looking at you expectantly. After all, he did lay his heart on the line for you.

“Say that again, but slowly. I wanna make sure I heard you properly,” you chuckle.

“Don’t tease me!”

“I’m not! I’m being serious! You became a rapper all of a sudden and I couldn’t fully understand you,” this time it was you giving Jimin puppy dog eyes.

“I said, I’ve been in love with you for so long I can’t hide it anymore. My roommates asked about us the other day, and I told them we were best friends. They all made fun of me, saying that everyone always thought we were a couple. They made me realize that I actually was, and have been, so madly in love with you. It’s okay if you don’t feel the same way. It actually feels amazing to finally get that off my chest,” Jimin shyly looked away.

You cupped his face and responded, “Of course I feel the same way, dummy. All this time I’ve been trying to bury my feelings because I didn’t want to jeopardize our friendship. I love you too, Jimin,” you lean in slowly and kissed him tenderly.

You’ve always imagined his lips to be soft and supple. You were 100% correct. You pull away and smile against his mouth before he pulls you back in. This time, the kiss is needier, as if to make up for all the years you guys could’ve been doing this sooner. Jimin rolls on top of you, assuming a dominant position. This time he pulls away.

“Are you sure you want to do this? Our friendship will never be the same,” he locks eyes with yours.

“You’re right. I think our friendship will be even better. As lovers. If you’ll have me,” you rest your arms around his neck.

“Of course, I’ll have you, ___. Let me show you what you’ve been missing out on all these years,” Jimin smirks as your heart beats faster and you rub your thighs together.

He bends over gently to kiss you again, but the sweetness only covers the soft hunger underneath, like a chocolate coated strawberry. Before the kiss can last long he breaks it, and you want to protest but stopped when his lips press into your neck. And then your collar bones. Your breath comes in quick spurts, and every inch of your skin is charged with electricity, like livewire. Jimin seems to hear this because he smirks and nips gently at your earlobe.

His hands gently trace your t-shirt up, and you raise your arms expectantly. He takes your shirt off in one smooth motion, and your eyes meet with his, “Are you doing okay?”

Your voice is breathy, but you manage, “Couldn’t be better.”

He smirks again and leans over you to dot your torso with gentle kisses. Then, his hands are at the waistline of your jeans, and they pause ever so slightly before undoing the button. You silently thank whatever god exists in the sky for choosing today of all days to go for the cute, lacy underwear you had gotten on sale in a lingerie store meant for women who got more action than you.

“Tell me if anything gets uncomfortable, okay?” Jimin looks nervous, and you’ve never seen him lose his composure like this. This novel vulnerability and earnest in his eyes make your chest grow warm with tenderness. You nod fervently, and he laughs into your thighs. The sensation brings warmth between your legs.

His fingers hesitate over the edge of the lacy fabric before he gently tugs your panties down the length of your legs. You can feel the ache, the need for him to lay his hands on you. Jimin kisses the inside of your thighs, murmuring, “I will always love these thighs you always complain about.” His lips linger daintily on your skin, and you try not to squirm or move, as if this moment would evaporate if you made any sudden movements.

Almost instinctively, your hand finds its way to his soft, shiny locks. You have imagined the feeling of his hair running through the space between your fingers, but no imagination could do the real experience justice. He pushes your legs apart, and you almost want to scream in anticipation.

Then his head dips into the aching place between your legs, and you feel yourself gasping in pleasure as his mouth finds its place to where you wanted him most. His tongue slowly glides over your clit, and your back arches, moving your body against his mouth. Your fingers grip his hair as if it is the thread of life, and your breath comes faster and shallower.

He chuckles, and the vibrations of the sound make you ache for him all the more. In your frenzy, you let the words slip from your lips, “More, please.”

His tongue picks up its leisurely pace to a more rhythmic motion, and just when you thought it couldn’t feel better you gasp when you feel his finger push through your entrance. His free hand rested on your torso, a cooling patch to your otherwise hot skin. It was as if you were made only for him, and he was only made for you. The way in which you both moved brought you to a point of madness from the pleasure. As he continued, you felt the pleasure spike, climbing and climbing to its highest point.

But before you could be let off the cliff, Jimin pauses, “What do you want, ___?” His eyes stare at you with its familiar charm because knowing he was the cause of your pleasure brought back the confidence you were used to.

“I want you,” you practically whimper between pants.

He smiles mischievously, and his head and fingers return where they were, working you quickly back up to the peak. This time though, he continues his motions pushing you closer to the edge, until finally, finally you are given your release. Your release courses through your body like a storm, your body almost convulsing with pleasure. His hair is now a rat’s nest from your fingers, and he smiles into your legs continuing. He doesn’t release you until you practically scream from the stimulation, causing waves of pleasure.

Finally, he lets you go from his mouth, and his lips make a pathway up from your crotch all the way back up to your lips. You taste yourself on his lips, and you want to drown in him as his kisses grow hungrier. You finally break the kiss, and look up at him with a boldness that you had never felt before, “I suppose it’s your turn now?”

Jimin’s eyes lit up, “Only if you’re feeling generous.”

Without another word, you took Jimin by surprise as you shifted your weight to flip yourself on top of him. You pause before straddling his waist.

“I don’t think it’s fair that I’m completely naked and you’re not,” you say as you begin to tug at the end of his shirt.

“That can be fixed,” Jimin smiles as he removed his shirt to reveal his abs. You caught your breath. You knew Jimin was fit, but you never realized he looked this good.

You begin to unbutton his pants and attempted to strip them off. They were a lot tighter than you anticipated so you were struggling. Jimin couldn’t help but laugh at how determined you were as you began to aggressively tug at his legs. You tried to give him a sad pouty face, but couldn’t resist in joining his laughter. There you both were. Sitting in a tent in the middle of Jimin’s apartment. One of you completely naked, while the other was getting there with a bit of conflict. And you guys were laughing your asses off. The atmosphere didn’t feel sexy or seductive at all. Instead, you two were completely comfortable and were vibing off of that contentment.

Jimin finally helped you take his pants off, but left his underwear on. You never really understood the expression “pitched tent” in this context until now. Jimin’s raging boner stood high against the restraints of his underwear. You couldn’t help but stare at it for a second before palming it gingerly. As soon as you touched it, Jimin shuddered and let out a sigh.

“Sorry, I’ve just been dreaming about this for a while now. Hope that’s not weird…” Jimin blushes.

“Let’s see if I live up to your expectations,” you look up at him with a wily smile.

You tug at his waistband down, allowing his erection to spring free. You were impressed and a little intimidated at its sheer size. Not wanting to disappoint, you started stroking him slowly from the base all the way to the tip. You watched his face contort with pure bliss as you applied more pressure and used a faster pace.

You couldn’t hold in your lust any further. You teasingly licked the tip of his cock. Jimin whimpered in response. This peaked your intrigue, you never thought you’d hear Jimin like this. Yeah, he could be whiny on a daily basis, but you wouldn’t have imagined it in the bedroom.

With the head of his cock in your mouth, you start to swirl your tongue around it. Jimin starts to whine louder and his hands entangle themselves in your hair. Deciding not to tease him any longer, you experiment to see how much of him you can take. You can’t even get to the base of his dick without gagging. As you bob your head rhythmically up and down, you hand glides over what you can’t fit in your mouth. This seems to be working beautifully for Jimin, as his grip on your hair became more firm and his whines turned into drawn out moans.

“Oh god, ___. You’re better than anything I could’ve ever dreamt of,” Jimin groaned as he pulled you off of him, “If you keep going like that, I’m gonna blow my load way too soon. I still wanna dick you down tonight. If you want to, of course.”

“I would love nothing more. Do you have a condom? I’m not on any birth control,” you say.

“When I said this tent has everything we’d ever need, I wasn’t kidding,” Jimin beamed as he pulled out a condom from under the pizza box.

“What would you have said if I moved the pizza box for some reason?” you asked, giggling.

“I dunno. I just prayed that you wouldn’t. Either way,” Jimin pushed you back beneath him, “I’m glad I put it there. May I have the honors?”

“Go for it dude,” you stick your tongue at him. You loved the way that everything felt so natural with him.

Jimin slips on the condom before aligning himself with your entrance. He leans over to kiss you as he slides in slowly. The stretch caused you to moan into his mouth. Once he bottomed out, he slipped his hands into yours. Gazing into your eyes, he started to buck his hips into yours faster. You started to moan and closed your eyes to fully enjoy the pleasure.

“Keep your eyes on me, ___,” you hear Jimin say, “I want all of your attention on me.”

You open your eyes and smile up at Jimin. You wrap your arms around his neck and pull him closer to you. Jimin plants kisses along your neck. Your moans become more haggard as you feel a familiar knot coil within you.

“Ji-Jimin I’m close,” you pant.

“Me too, ___,” Jimin responds, his eyebrows furrowed, “Let’s finish together. Can you do that with me, ___?”

You didn’t get the chance to answer. You let out a loud cry as your high overcame you. Feeling your pussy tighten over his cock, Jimin drilled into you even faster. It wasn’t long before Jimin all met his sweet release. With one final thrust, Jimin groaned as came inside of you.

You were both spent. Jimin collapsed beside you, pulling off the condom to inspect it.

“Nice, no breakage!” Jimin cheered as he tied it up. Jimin wrapped his arms around you, pulling you in for a big hug.

“Jimin, I’m all sweaty,” you say, trying to wiggle free from his grasp.

“Oh yeah? Well so am I! I’ve been covered in worse than your sweat now anyway,” Jimin nuzzles into your neck.

“Gross! But also true,” you couldn’t help but laugh, “Jimin, you know we can never go back to what we were before, right?”

“Yeah, I know. And why would I want to? We both admitted that we love each other, I don’t see a problem. I love you, ___. I always have. And I’m pretty sure I always will,” Jimin whispers into your neck.

“Same goes for me. I’ve been head over heels for you ever since high school,” you kiss his forehead.

“I’ll do you one better. I’ve been in love with you ever since day one,” Jimin plants a final kiss before you both drift off to sleep in each other’s arms.

#bts smut #jimin smut #jimin fluff #bangtanarmynet #btswritingcafe #bts fluff #bts fanfic #kpop smut #kpop fanfic #bayanihanboost #ksmutclub

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wcamino-confessions · 3 years

Note

Saw we were talking about the "If I were a Boy" Squirrelflight amv so I wanted to throw in my two cents. I really didn't understand the ideas of why genderbending was bad for literal YEARS because it never made sense when it was explained to me. The concept of a female character being drawn or reinterpretated as male or vice versa was fun, because I also liked playing with the idea of how a character would present themselves in a society that primarily leaned into the patriarchy, if they were the opposite sex.

However, in the past few weeks I actually realized why that outlook in of itself is transphobic, mostly because I thought about it from my perspective as someone who doesn't indentify with gender. Gender and sex are not the same, this is not something up for debate. If I were to hypothetically be born with male anatomy, why would that suddenly change who I am, what I like and how I present myself? Granted, that would definitely have affected the way I grew up and was perceived by my peers, but, that's not the point here.

Fundamentally, someone who is cis and identifies as cis wouldn't feel the same in a different body. Transgender men, woman as well as nonbinary individuals have the potential to feel dysphoria. This is the feeling of disconnect between one's body or identity with their assigned sex in comparison to their actual gender identity. Dysphoria can cause severe stress, anxiety and even depression for trans individuals BECAUSE their body doesn't align with their identity and the feeling of looking at themselves or even thinking about the way the world around them perceives them BECAUSE of their assigned gender or biological sex can lead to immense stress, anxiety and/or depression. This isn't something that they would feel if they had been born exactly as they identified. By insinuating that just changing someone's sex at birth, they can effectively change every aspect about them completely erases this feeling of dysphoria to be exclusive to trans people. These characters would still identify the same way they do now, regardless of what sex they were born to be. By genderbending a character, we dismiss the fundamental principle of gender and gender identity. We instead say that someone who was a cis female wouldn't feel different or feel gender dysphoria if they became male. This is no different than saying that biological sex determines gender or that upbringing affects the gender identity of someone who is trans, which is a transphobic perspective that trans people have been fighting for YEARS. If I were dmab, would my perspective of the world, experiences, and upbringing be different? Sure, but would I become a different person entirely because of it? Would I suddenly stop liking the things I like? Would I suddenly identify differently than I do now? Would my dysphoria present itself differently as a different sex, or would I feel okay with myself and my identity?

Let's take Bramblestar for instance. Bramblestar in the amv is presented to be a passive member of their relationship. Suddenly, Bramblestar's entire identity has shifted from the strong, arrogant and selectively dismissive warrior he's been since the beginning to a much softer and tempered character. His doted on by Squirrelflight and instead of pulling away or putting the clan and duties first, he suddenly becomes understanding and loving in aspects where he wouldn't be before. He's a tragic character who was betrayed by Hawkfrost, who is excited and happy to be there for Squirrelflight and is standing tall BECAUSE Squirrelflight would never treat him the same way he treats her if the roles were reversed. The problem with that is that the roles were NEVER reversed. Bramblestar's relationship with Hawkfrost suddenly doesn't matter to Squirrelflight, they never bicker over nonsense do to conflicting perspectives. This insinuates that all of their fights stem from their biological sex, rather than their perspectives as individuals. Why does Bramblestar's sex determine how his personality and perspectives will shift? Bramblestar's arrogance, attitude and stubbornness suddenly disappear BECAUSE he has the perspective of being female? Look, I know that being afab does give you a female perspective in a patriarchal society but that doesn't stop you from being an asshole. Judging by the amv, he would still experience the exact same events that led to him growing up the way he did. He would still pull away from her to focus on his duties and dismiss issues he didn't value as severely. He does not suddenly become someone completely different just because he's a female.

And all of that is completely dismissing the discomfort or dysphoria any of these characters would feel throughout their lives despite comfortably identifying with their birth sex in canon! It's not all that hard to see how uncomfortable this might make someone who's trans when we make things like gender something so easy to just shift about as we please. The hardships and growth they've had to go through to be who they are today is not something so frivolous. If we dismiss gender identity as something tied to ones biological sex, yes we are being transphobic! It's also misogynistic to require characters that previously didn't need support of the opposite sex as male to suddenly need it as a female but that's it's own separate conversation entirely.

Feel free trans people to check me if I missed something btw! I don't identify with gender myself so it's been a rough journey trying to even comprehend the concept in of itself and I'm always open to learn more and improve my perspectives to help educate cis and other gender non-conforming folk!

#submission #phantomsylveon

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hanzimmer · 4 years

Text

powershift - kylo ren x reader

Summary: A bounty hunter gets tangled up with the First Order. She expects the worst, but with Kylo Ren, things are never as they seem.

Authors note: Okay so this is a re-edited version of my one and only one shot I wrote way back at the start of quarantine! Very small changes but they were bothering me so, lol. Please reblog/like and message me with feedback! 😊 ps: i have proof read but sorry if there are any errors!

Kylo Ren X Reader

Warnings: NSFW. 18+. Sexual tension, smut, female masturbation, voyeurism, use of a sex toy, orgasm denial. All the good stuff.

Word count: 4654

It’s difficult to pinpoint the exact reason Ren decided to keep you around – maybe he had plans for you, maybe you had an insignificant role to play in his destiny. Maybe he needed some company.

It started a few months ago, when the first order raided the village you were passing through.

Talk about wrong place, wrong time.

A bounty hunter was not an occupation that brought you a lot of pride. It made for temporary homes, temporary relationships and the constant need to pursue your next target. You tried to live by a code, but as the years went on the more you realized that people aren’t just pure good or evil - some had made explicit choices that led them down a certain path, some were just born into a life of chaos.

You remember when you first set your eyes on Kylo Ren. You remember the feeling that washed over your skin as his presence infiltrated your every sense and when you first heard his velvety voice, a stark contrast to the cold and unforgiving black mask he wore.

“Don’t kill this one, take her prisoner,” he communicated to the trooper.

Thank you?

You wake in a cold, metal cell. Relieved to find your normal attire was still on your body, sans any personal belongings and weapons. The four black walls keep you company as you wait for your inevitable punishment or worse, execution.

But it never comes.

Days pass, then weeks. Only having contact with the troopers for your meals and washroom privileges.

Then one day a voice rudely wakes you out of your slumber.

“Get up,’’ you stir in your sleep, squinting your eyes towards the slit of light that lit up your cell. “Proceed to the door with your hands in front of you.”

You move your body to put your boots on and do as commanded. Some mechanical noises later, the hefty door slides open. The troopers’ stark, white armour combined with the fluorescent light burns your eyes. When you finally open your eyes, the handcuffs are already placed upon your wrists by another guard.

“Where are you taking me?’’ you aren’t panicked.

If he wanted me dead, I would be.

Two arms grab your biceps as the guards guide you down many hallways and corridors, like a cow to a slaughterhouse.

God this is a maze, no wonder no one escapes The First fucking Order.

You finally come to a door. The guard to your right reaches over and presses some buttons on the control panel. You aren’t sure what to expect but it isn’t this. A bed in the middle of the well-sized room. Adorned with black, silk bed sheets and a simple comforter.

It was sizeably larger than the cell you called home over the past few weeks. An armoire to the left of the bed, made to look vintage with its intricate handles. An opening to your right indicates what you assume is the washroom. It was a simple yet practical room, your favourite part being the glass above your bed, allowing you to watch as endless space passes you by. You don’t even realize the guard had taken off your handcuffs until the door closes behind you.

Wait…is this my room? Is this… Kylo’s room?

Don’t be stupid y/n, you think the commander of the First order sleeps on a bloody double bed?

You push the thoughts aside and decide a long, private shower is well needed.

Your interactions with Kylo Ren are limited and mundane at first. He comes to your door periodically, asking about you and attempting to make small talk. Always curious, you listen with intent whenever he speaks. He has that quality about him, you were drawn to him. You always feel somewhat vulnerable under his gaze, the way he unapologetically scans your body while he has the luxury of hiding behind his mask. You desperately want to put a face to his smooth, polished voice.

Even those in The First Order aren’t immune to participating in some workplace gossip; it doesn’t take long for you to find out what had happened with Han Solo. A pang of concern rises in your body. For Kylo.

This guy kept you in a prison cell for weeks. He didn’t deserve your sympathy then, and he doesn’t deserve it now! Snap out of it.

You can’t help yourself. You’ve gotten to know him through the small conversations you had. And you knew about his complicated past.

That night was when you finally got a deeper look into Kylo Ren.

Impossibly, you don’t notice him when you first enter the room. Turning to sit on the foot of your bed, the light catches the silver planes of his mask. Sat at the armchair in the corner of your room, the air around him is tense. Well, more so than usual.

“Kylo, I-,” you start. Mentally cursing yourself for the pity than laced your voice.

“I don’t want your pity,” he interrupts.

Shit, all right.

What could you say? What did he expect you to say? What did he need you to say?

There’s a long silence.

You have to say something. That’s what you’re here for, right? To converse with him. No agenda.

You decide to tell him about yourself. About where you grew up, your family, your friends. Stupid moments and accomplishments from your childhood. Tales from your days of bounty hunting.

He asks a few questions along the way, sharing some small memories of his childhood with you. It goes on for hours. You could tell you had distracted him, even momentarily, from whatever was conspiring inside his mind. The conversation comes to a comfortable end. As he approaches your door, you can’t seem to control what you do next.

“Wait, Kylo!” you stand from your bed. He comes to a halt and throws a glance over his broad shoulder in your direction.

Oh god, please don’t kill me for this.

You set your eyes on his gloved left hand. You slowly reach for it, giving him ample time to flinch away from you, until you feel the smooth leather on your naked palm. There is a slight warmth as he gently closes his large hand, completely enveloping yours. Your body simultaneously feels as if it could melt into the ground and as tense as a pulled elastic.

“I’ll be here if you need to talk,” you give a gentle squeeze before starting to retract to your hand

In an instant, he spins around. Your balance faults as he pulls your hand higher to his chest. His right arm snakes around your waist in a vice grip, your breaths become shallow as your ribs struggle against the hold he has on your torso. You know at a moment’s notice he could crush your hand for overstepping your bounds or tighten his grip and permanently halt your breathing. It’s electrifying.

You’ve never been this close to him before, you could feel his black robes brush against your bare feet, you swear you can feel the warmth radiating from his body with the rise and fall of his chest. He towers over you, the top of your head barely reaching his chest, his broad shoulders acting as a barrier to anything behind him. You feel utterly trapped within Ren’s hold. Craning your head to meet his eyes, you are dissapointed to be only met with his indifferent, hostile black mask.

God, when will he take that stupid thing off?

He pulls you closer to him, the fingers splayed on your back tensing as he does so. You become hyperaware of your body and his. The space between you two slowly getting smaller.

And then he’s gone. He withdraws all contact, all at once. When you come to, you catch a glimpse of his black robes as the door slides closed in front of you.

It has been a few weeks since your last interaction. He comes to see you more sparsely now and keeps the conversations short and simple. Back to how you were. Meaningless small talk, your body cried out to be held by him again.

You think back to that night… truth be told you thought back to that night more times than you’d like to admit. It was the first time you felt any kind of meaningful connection with Kylo.

Hell, it was the first time you…felt Kylo.

You’ve been with your fair share of men, being on the road was lonely at times. You welcomed having someone to share a drink or a bed with, it was comforting slipping into a stranger’s warm embrace for the night. Temporary, nonchalant relationships. If you could even call them that.

But no man ever had you reaching for the wetness between your thighs every night like Kylo Ren did. No man ever had you biting your pillows at night to stifle your moans and whimpers as you fervently chased the familiar rush of pleasure. You felt betrayed by your body; every time you had a fleeting thought of him, of his scent, of the way his strong body towered over you, you were compelled to brush your hands against your core.

And you don’t even know what he looks like, good one!

You ache for the day you could feel his powerful frame against you, for the day he could bring you to that edge of pleasure. Repeatedly. You allow your mind to wonder about his mouth, his tongue, his capable hands, what lies between his strong, thick legs-

The familiar sound of your door closing rouses you out of your lewd daydream.

Oh god… why the fuck is he here? did he read my mind?

Fuck!!

Your body is ablaze. It isn’t obvious what you were about to do but you feel caught, you feel ambushed.

“Kylo?” you ask cautiously as you dare to glance up at him from your bed.

Silently, he reaches for the armchair at the corner of the bedroom and drags it across the floor until it sits directly in front of your bed. He settles into the chair; his long legs spread out as you fight every fibre of your being not to glance between his thighs.

“Kylo?” you repeated. “What’s wrong? Did something happen?”

He cocks his head to the side, and you notice the light reflect off the silver of that damned mask.

“Spread your legs for me,” he commands.

Okay so I’m dreaming. Because Kylo Ren, the commander of the First Order and master of mood swings didn’t just order me to spread my fucken legs. Right?!

Your mind spirals as you instinctively clench your thighs together.

“What? NO! Are you crazy?” you ask defensively. “You shouldn’t even bother trying to use your powers on me, Ren.”

“I’m not,” he answers almost immediately, his voice calm. “I don’t need to use my powers on you… do I y/n?”

Fucking hell, he knew. Somehow. Shit.

“I ask you again,” he continues. “Lay back against the headboard and spread your legs.”

You aren’t able to see his eyes, but you knew where they were aimed. You can feel his gaze piercing through your body.

You scoot your body back until you meet the hard wood of the headboard, you raise yourself up on your forearms. It felt as if your body was vibrating.

“Your legs, y/n,” he firmly reminds you for the third time. You want to do as he orders; you really do. Clearly you aren’t thinking rationally.

Maybe I can get something out of this too…

“No,” you respond. You try to square off your shoulders and jut your chin out to more convincingly stand your ground. “This isn’t a fair trade, Ren,” you further explain.

You watch as one of his hands clutch the arm of the chair more tightly.

“You know I can take whatever I want.” His voice was alarmingly levelled and composed.

“You expect me to open myself up to you like this… when I haven’t even seen your face?” you rationalize. “Take off the mask, Kylo.”

You could hear the deep breath he took as it reverberates off the inside of his mask.

God damn it y/n! Why did you say that!? He’s just going to fucken leave and you’ll be left to your own devices… again.

He reaches for his gloved hand and take off the leather glove. And then the other.

God, how badly I want those beautiful fingers inside of me…

He reaches up and grasps the mask with both hands. You hear a click as the mask separates into parts. He brings the mask over his head and finally looks up at you.

Fucking hell… he’s gorgeous.

You can’t think of the words to describe him. Your eyes bore into his dark eyes, framed by long, beautiful black lashes.

You’ve seen him command the First Order to destroy villages and whole planets, seen him kill innocents in cold blood.

How does he look so innocent?

Images of him looking up at you from between your thighs flash across your mind. You take him in fully. Eyes scanning down to his full, pink lips, making a note of all the freckles that adorn his skin. You want to feel those lips everywhere on your body; licking, biting, sucking.

His hair…

So much longer than you had initially anticipated. Stars, to be able to weave your hands through his soft, black waves. You imagine what sounds he might make if you accidentally happened to tug on his hair.

You aren’t aware of how long you’ve been gawking at him, until he interrupts your vulgar thoughts.

“A deal is a deal y/n,” he sounds cocky.

Without moving your gaze, you let your thighs fall apart. You watch his eyes fall to your simple cotton underwear.

“Hmm…” he says, pleased. “I guess you’re excited to see me.”

You know what he’s referring to, you could feel the wet patch on your underwear growing in response to him.

“Your hands… rub yourself through your underwear.” How he manages to keep his voice so calm, you don’t know.

You feel your hands at your hips, slowly descending to your underwear. You rest one hand on your inner thigh as the other travels over the soft texture of the cotton, until your fingers barely caress your clit.

How am I so sensitive? this is going to be a long night…

A breathy sigh escapes your lips, hoping it didn’t make it to Kylo’s ears. The slight upturn of the corner of his lip says otherwise.

“Keep going,” he guides you. His voice sounding as if it was right beside your ear.

You slide your hand down further and slowly bring your fingers back up, spreading the wetness over your clit, over your underwear. You let your eyes fall close as you apply slight pressure, ready to get lost in that familiar high.

“Stop,” your eyes snap open.

No, Kylo…

“Glide your hands over your stomach… and your breasts,” you notice how his eyes have brightened.

You do as he says. The soft fabric of your shirt bunches up as you painstakingly drag your palms over your stomach. Goosebumps raising on your lower stomach as the skin is exposed to the cool air. Your hands travel to your sides, using your nails to apply gentle pressure to the skin as a chill travels down your spine. You bypass your breasts, deciding to slide your palms down your sternum to your stomach. Fingers hook onto the waistband of your underwear; you pull slightly, and the silence of the room is broken as the elastic slaps back against your skin. You roll your hips slowly, using a single finger to draw patterns on your skin as you slowly approach your breasts. Thighs rubbing together, you draw circles over your soft nipples. Looking back at Kylo as they come to attention underneath the flimsy garment.

He swallows, eyes completely trained on your writhing body in front of him.

You crane your neck and move it to the side while slowly allowing your eyes to close. Your hands naturally find their way to your breasts, squeezing roughly, as he would. You massage them, whimpers escaping your mouth as your back arches off the sheets beneath you.

“Squeeze your nipples y/n,” you’re pleased that he doesn’t sound completely unfazed by your little show.

You pinch your nipples roughly and pull, letting them spring back, more erect than before.

Let’s take some creative liberties…

One hand remains at your breast, toying with your nipples. While the other slowly travels downs your torso, coming to rest just above your clit.

“May I?” you ask with a soft voice, feigning innocence.

He simply nods as shifts in the chair.

You begin to rub tight circles around your clit, and you feel the waves of pleasure starting to rock through your body. Your movements become quicker as your eyes screw shut and your mouth falls open.

“Oh god… yes,” you breathe out, unable to keep quiet.

Hips bucking in sync with your fingers, your mind races as your body chases the high.

So close…

“Stop,” he interrupts. You had half a mind to just keep going, but you wanted to play his game. You pry your hands away as frustration clearly shows on your face.

He chuckles lowly, “don’t worry, I’ll get you there soon enough.”

You watch him as his hands rest suspiciously close to his member, you look up at him. Daring him to join you.

He waits a few moments, and you feel the waves of pleasure ebb away in your body.

“Again,” he orders. “Just like before… caress your body.”

Why is he doing this?!

You huff as your hands move down to your thighs this time, hands running over the goose bumps raised on your smooth flesh. Slowly moving up…

You don’t know how long it’s been. You don’t know how many times he’s brought you to the edge only to roughly tear you back from it. You’re dripping, the wet patch of your underwear dripping down into the sheets underneath you. You feel it rubbing against your folds, slick and ready. Not for your fingers, for the man sitting in front of you. For the man palming his growing erection through his pants.

“Good girl…,” You don’t know how much more you can take. “Again.”

How long was he planning on doing this? Is he ever actually going to let me cum?!

You feel as if you have no strength in your body, your body ready to melt into the sheets.

No y/n… you must play his game. Let him know he isn’t the one with all the power.

You cease the movement of your hands. Digging your palms into the mattress, you lift yourself up into a sitting position, realizing your back is slick with sweat. You breathe hard as tendrils of your hair stick to your forehead.

“Enough,” you strain. You revel in the confused expression plastered over his pronounced features. “You’re not the only one with power here, Kylo.”

You ungraciously throw your legs over the side of the bed and stand up on shaky legs. You sway your hips and saunter over to him. The apex of your thighs coated in your wetness. You want to so badly straddle his muscular legs, to feel him inside of you, hear his groans against your ear as he loses control.

No… you can’t let him win.

You place yourself in the space between your bed and him. He looks up at you; waiting, aroused, excited. You notice that the bulge in his trousers is more pronounced at this closer view. You turn sharply on your heels, so that your back is turned to him.

You take a deep breath in and hook your shaky fingers to the waistband of your underwear and peel them down your legs, making sure to keep your legs straight and back arched. Your shirt rides up to give him a perfect view of what he will be missing. The underwear pools at your bare feet. You step out of it, reaching to hook it onto your index finger.

You wish you could take a picture of him when you turned around. Brows furrowed, mouth agape, eyes trained on your dripping core. He could smell your scent too, you certainly could.

You hold the black fabric in front of his face as he finally peels his eyes way from your core. You raise an eyebrow, expectantly.

He brings a hand to lightly grasp the wet piece of cotton.

“Think of this as a souvenir, Ren.” You cheer in your head at your victory. You make your way to the armoire at the side of the bed.

You swing the doors open as you dig through the drawer looking for…

Perfect… time to give him a taste of his own medicine.

You grab what you need and close the doors, making your way back to the bed. You’re glad to see he’s still in his position, body locked into place.

You resume your position; your forearms holding you up, legs spread as your wetness shines in the light, his view now unobstructed. You knew that even if he wanted to, he couldn’t leave.

You bring up the object and examine it. His eyes dart to your hands, realizing what you were about to do.

You bring the toy to your mouth. He hungrily licks his lips as you give a coy smile. You start to kiss the head of it, and move down to the shaft, flattening your tongue and licking a stripe along the underside. All the while keeping your eyes trained on Kylo’s face, he looks hypnotized by your actions. You make sure the toy is wet enough, not like it mattered.

You lay back, propping yourself up on one elbow to make sure he could watch your face as you took yourself over the edge, finally. You slide the toys head along your folds, using it to part them open. You watch his eyes as you push the toy slowly inside of you, a moan catches in your throat. Your walls stretch as you enter it further into your core until it sits snug inside of you. You circle the toy inside of you, to make sure Kylo gets an excellent look at the juices coating the silicone toy.

You start to move it in and out, faster than you would have liked to, but you’ve waited long enough. The pressure starts to build quickly, within minutes.

“Oh… Kylo,” his eyes are wild, clearly regretting the games he played prior. “Faster… please Kylo.”

You fall back on the bed as you thrust the toy at an increasing pace, the pain of it budging against your cervix the perfect counterpart to the immense pleasure you feel building in your body.

“Ahh! Yes... Please don’t stop…,” nonsense pours from your lips as your mind numbs. “Keep going… please.”

“Y/N…,” he sounds almost encouraging.

Hips bucking wildly, your free hand comes to your breast, squeezing and massaging as roughly as you could. As roughly as he would.

Just a few more…

You pace is unrelenting, eagerly chasing the high.

You feel a slight scream leave your lips as it finally washes over you… after hours of torture at Kylo’s hand.

You turn your head and bite the pillow as you keep thrusting the toy inside of you, wanting to ride out your high for as long as possible.

You finally slow the movements of your hands. Your sex feeling swollen and well fucked. You bask in the aftershocks as your body comes down, shaking and spasming slightly. You try to close your thighs as you bring up your hand to your face, wiping the sweat from your brow.

As you struggle to hold yourself up on your elbows, you share a long look with Kylo. His jaw tight, knuckles white from clenching the arm of the chair while he roughly continues to palm his growing bulge through his trousers. You bring your eyes down to your core as you slowly retract the toy.

Holy shit…

Covered in your wetness and white, slick liquid. You have an ounce of shyness before you push it aside. You use every bit of strength you can muster to push yourself up from the bed. You walk over to him, with the toy in hand. No strength left in your body to be graceful.

“Would you like a taste, Kylo?” He looks up at you with those big dark eyes, black curls framing his features, as his plump lips part slightly.

“Yes,” the softest you’ve ever heard him speak.

You gather some of the wetness on your thumb and bring it to his awaiting lips, he cradles your wrist as he wraps his lips around your thumb. You feel his warm tongue snake around your digit, licking up all you had to offer. Releasing your clean thumb with a pop, you outline his lips with a feather light touch. How badly you want to feel those lips on yours, moving together perfectly.

You give him one last look and left for the washroom.

****

You wash and sanitize the toy as well as your sweat slick body. You allow your muscles to relax in the steam. Smiling, you re-live what it felt like to have Kylo’s lips wrapped around your finger.

You walk out of the washroom, perfectly content and ready to fall into a deep slumber and deal with the consequences of your little show later.

“How do you feel y/n?” His voice breaks somewhat startles you.

“Oh… I thought you had left,” you stuttered. What was he still doing here? “I feel…satiated.”

“That’s what I like to hear.”

No thanks to you, Kylo.

You proceed with your normal routine, as you walk past him to the armoire and reach for the lavender lotion. You prop your leg up on the bed and lather your legs in the sweet-smelling lotion.

“Need some help?” It wasn’t a question as he’s already walking over to you. You notice he had taken off his cloak and robe, leaving him only in his black trousers and simple shirt. You were wrong when you thought he was well built before.

He stands behind you and reaches for the tub of lotion from you.

He harshly tugs the towel away; you stand completely naked in front of him as you feel your body heat up.

Wordlessly, he slathers the lotion on his hands, and you feel his large hands at your hips. You look forward, unable to move or say anything. So eager to feel his hands before, and now your body overwhelmed with the sensation. He squeezes your hips roughly, giving your ass light smack before moving up your back. You could feel his hot breath fanning over your shoulder as he had lowered his head to your ear.

“You disobeyed my orders, girl.”

Fuck.

His hands snake around your ribs and hold your breasts, instinctively you lean back into his chest. Giving them a rough squeeze, he twists your nipples, calling them to attention. You whimper as the skin starts to bruise.

His hands travel down your arms, gently grazing your skin. You were too distracted by his touches to notice him wrapping his hands tightly against your wrists. He pulls them behind you and pushes them into your back, forcing your chest forward and pushing your breasts forward. Your knees hit the bed and soon after you fall onto the bed. Kylo repositions you with your hands still held behind your back, so that your face was pressed against the still damp sheets. Your ass high in the air, to do with as he pleased.

“When you disobey my orders,” he whispers in your ear as your entire body trembles with anticipation. “You get punished.”

#kylo ren #kylo ren smut #kylo ren imagine #kylo ren fanfic #kylo ren oneshot #kylo ren x reader #kylo ren x y/n #star wars #x reader #reader insert #star wars fanfiction #oneshot #fanfic #powershift #my writing

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hopeassassin · 3 years

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Rally’s Scribbles in the Work

So after that lovely anon blew my mind away with their kind words and wonderful support, and because I keep telling you guys about my writing plans without actually giving you even a teensy little detail, I have decided to stop being coy and actually likely get your hopes up a bit by dilvulging small details and bits of plots of what is currently going on in my G-Drive.

This will be a brief recount of what I have currently baking in the AoMomo oven, so let’s dive right into it! Please note that the numbers are in no particular order - I just keep revisiting each of these stories and writing a bit more to them whenever I feel like it. So there’s no ranking and no importance, just a number to keep proper count.

1. “Knight of Renown” Dragons and Knighthood AU, based on that one AoMomo pic with Momo ithe Knight and Dragon Aomine that I reblogged a while back and I actually let me imagination go a bit too much in the tags. I ended up actually rather enjoying the premise I set up in the tags so I actually started writing that one out! Completion rate at about: 5%? I’d say? Less? :D

2. AoMomo Music AU - a dearly beloved project that I am pouring a lot of love and attentioin to. That’s why it’s coming along super slow. It’s been in the making since November and I chewed it and mulled through it so thoroughly that I’ve grinded to a halt with it. Intending for there to be 2 chapters, and I am at about 25-30% of chapter 1 currently ready currently. At the pace I’m going, it might be another full year before you actually get to see this bad boy up, but when you do, I’m sure you’ll see all the care and effort that went into making it perfect. Honestly, no joke here, I am intending for this to be one of my rare masterpieces in this tag. So I’m not gonna rush it!

3. AoMomo Car Accident AU where Daiki barely manages to save Satsuki from being run over by a hit-and-run and ends up being the one run over instead. This was my first piece of writing after coming back to AoMomo last summer and yet completion rate is a sad thing. I want it to be flawless, a perfectly agonizing, thrilling type of torturous read that gives you a great sense of relief by the end of it. Needless to say, the clusterfuck of negative feelings is a bit difficult to hold onto for a prolonged period of time and the work is coming along slowly. Planned at about 5 chapters, I have 2 complete ones and the 3rd one is at about ... 30%? Hopefully before this year’s whumptober, we’ll have a finished piece!

4. AoMomo bond character study, which went in a direction I did NOT expect nor intend. It was suppsoed to be an idea that you will see also listed below. But I started this one from their early childhood and somehow, instead of focusing on the kids and their bond and their weird interactions with each other and their first moments of realizing they are of opposite genders, it turned into something much too fun to let go of and the ideas for scenes just kept piling. It’s going to be a long one, very explorative and very in-depth character study on the bond between these two and how it changed over the years, and their first encounters with their sexuality inbetween (because that was really the main idea that I started with... xDDD;;;) Currently at 1 chapter complete, chapter 2 somewhere around 50-60% completion, and at least 6-7 chapters to come after that, soooo.... :’DDDD YEAH. THIS ONE AIN’T SEEING THE LIGHT OF DAY ANYTIME SOON.

5. AoMomo deciding to practice stuff on each other, because I am a sucker for this trope.THIS will be what the idea under previous number 4 was SUPPOSED to be like, but it instead spun out of control. So this one, under number 5, is going to be the smutty, idiots bumbling through physicality to discover that they actually have serious feelings for each other kind of piece. Chapters are planned at about at least 6-7 or so, but not my usual monstrocities! :D First we start with practice kissing, and we move our way up from there!

6. “The Evil of Humanity” AU - a dystopian futuristic kinda mecha AU, sort of an amalgamation of some of my favourite anime in the genre - a bit of NGE, a bit of Gurren-Lagann, a lot of Darling in the Franxx rewrite and improvement, in distinctly AoMomo colors. I poured a lot of thought and love into initial outline of main moments for this one, and I really hope to make it an epic, thrilling action/adventure with a big dash of romance kind of read! Chapters currently not even planned properly, because I need to sit down and consider this seriously. It will definitely be more than 10-15 though, and they will be my usual chapter lengths so.... likely no time soon. :D

7. Aomine Fanclub - I got a plot bunny some time ago and I shared it here and my friends were spurring me on with it, so I started trying it out a little more. I’ve written out like... maybe 30% of this one as well, but need to re-read and reconceptualize to get it back on track. The issue with this one is that I’m not really sure where I want to take it, thus it’s on the back burner at the moment.

8. KagaKuro AoMomo double-date kind of story, where Aomine is asking some curious questions of Taiga about going to America and pondering if any of his immediate friends know what Satsuki wants to do with her life. I’m really invested in this one but haven’t started properly writing it out yet beyond just sketching out the idea so I don’t forget it. (I’d say 1% complete here.) Really looking forward to using the idea of Kagami being super impressed with AoMomo perfect sync when playing as a team in arcade games!

9.Laws of Attraction Chapter 2 - You might be surprised at this, but I’m actually super invested in this one. Likely the reason why I am delaying so much working on it - I feel like all my great scene ideas are just too chaotic and I have a hard time starting the chapter flowing properly. I had like 4-5 false starts already and I’m feeling a bit skittish with picking it up. But I have such AMAZING concepts on where to take it after it revvs up the engine, so... Maybe sometime this year! Completion rate: 0% written, but at least about 30% ideas built up for the installment!

10. AoMomo college rooming together story - sort of an expansion on my fill for one of the prompts way back those years ago in AoMomo week. I really dig the concept and the trope of sharing spaces with someone you consider nothing more than a friend and then gradually learning to appreciate each other for something so much more. I am definitely doing this one some day, but not anytime soon, likely.

11. A random idea bit me the other day (read: a month ago) and I actually wrote out like... maybe 25% of it already as well. A random comment from Wakamatsu miffs Satsuki but then she realizes why he’s asking dumb questions and she comes to realize that something is wrong with the equation: either Dai-chan likes someone really close to them and she hasn’t realized, which is unlikely, or Dai-chan likes HER and is super blase about it in a way that betrays his feelings not at all, which is even more unlikely. Being a curious individual, she sets out to find which it is! Some hilarity should ensue but mostly just some mess-with-Dai-chan fun!

12. Touou summer training camp at the sea - progress is practically 0, I wanted to write a summery piece and set my mind on this, but nothing beyond has come to me, so I’m not forcing it.

13. AoMomo cultural festival fic in second year of high school (meaning something approx end of Oct -> beginning of Nov.) with Daiki being in a distinctly Haruhu Suzumiya role at that festival (has anyone even seen this anime? I adored that episode to freaking bits, man, it’s engraved upon my soul) and singing Billy Idol’s “Rebel Yell” and one more song just like Haruhi did. And Satsuki just beholding the phenomenon he becomes in no time flat while he lays bare his passion for life for all the student body to see. Shippiness will happen in private afterwards!

14. You Can Leave Your Hat On Chapter 2 - Probably like 2-3 years ago while I was still in the damn woodwork and wrestling with real life and adulting being crap, I remembered this AU premise and I got super hyped on the idea of Club Owner Dai-chan being a flirt with innocent Satsuki who got dragged to his joined and fell in love at first sight with his shenanigans. I’ve already played around for like 7k words with the second chapter of this but I’m still not where I want to be at, so it will take a while longer to flesh it out.

15. Idol Worship - a story that I promised my mate aricana some 6 years ago the premise for which I am super hyped for but not quite engaging with it yet. The idea was that Momoi finally starts gettiing the dates she has been pesting Kuroko for for years, and Daiki feeling terrible about beholding that, whilst Kise is being pestered by Horikita Mai for a date and instead ditches her with Daiki because he knows his former Teikou classmate is a huge fan of her. Mai-chan isn’t particularly happy but somehow ends up enjoying her time with Daiki and starts considering actually pursuing him instead of Kise when she sees what an interesting soul he is, with the torch that he’s carrying for some girl in his life he doesn’t really talk about but is evident from the little things he drops off as hits. AoMomo shenanigans will start to ensue properly when Satsuki realizes that Daiki is actually having a close female friend who is not her but is Horikita Mai instead, Dai-chan’s perfect woman, practically. She doesn’t take well to the news and has to grapple with why that is! And what to do with these newfound frustrating emotions!

16. Obstruction of Justice Chapter 3 - MAYBE SOME DAY, I WILL GET TO WRITING THIS. Last summer I inteded to do just that but instead, Wild Side of Justice was born. And it became a spin off of sorts on its own. ORZ. I WILL FINISH THIS SOME DAY, I do have some plans for it and I do have the desire to pursue them. I just need to be in the right headspace for it ahsjkfhkjaf

17. A PWP story of Kagami arriving early for a practice match at Touou and somehow walking in on AoMomo getting busy with each other in very unexpected and explicit ways that Kagami did not see headed his way. Because, we need more PWP in this fandom, honestly.

18. And since we DO need more PWP, recently when checking the 30 lemons community on LJ (shut up, I’m not ancient, YOU’RE ANCIENT) I was wondering how exactly a smut plot around the “Taken by the Faceless Stranger” could work for Aomomo and I came up with this Masquerade ball that they end up both attending because of their friends and meeting each other and hitting off fantastically just chatting the night and then banging in a niche in the long castle-like premise of the ball. :’DDDD Cuz it’s me and if I don’t have something like that in the works, you know i’m likely sick.

ALL OF THESE I am planning on eventually finishing one day. ONE DAY!

For now they are in various states of completion and in various stages of being cared for and improved on with more ideas added and fleshed out.

I am not joking when I say I am very invested in this fandom. I just have difficulty getting to writing out these ideas when I spend like 60% of my free time playing my mobile games. :D

So there you have it. I didn’t want to say anything about these because 1) I don’t want to get your hopes up. You Can Leave Your Hat On 2, for one, has been in the making for 3 years, very on-again-off-again kind of way, and I just... can’t do that to you guys. I have decided against posting any incomplete fics so I don’t torture you guys and my muse doesn’t abandom me forever for them. So when something is complete, it gets posted promptly for your viewing pleasure!

And 2) If I divulge too much of the story, I feel like my hype of it may disappear completely. Ehh, my muse is a willful creature, what can I tell you...

So let’s hope at least SOME of these get to see the light of day soon!

#my scribbles #here you have it #a rather complete list of incomplete AoMomo stuff I'd say #Rally's works in the making #tagged as:#AoMomo #because it's all AoMomo #sorry for spamming the main tag with nonsense #Kuroko no Basuke #will I ever finish any and all of these?#here's to hoping!#a little bit insider info from the kitchen #fanfiction #writing

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cosmic-navel-gazin · 4 years

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In which I chronicle my Legacy of Kain journey and bridge it with your boy Adam Warlock! (Part 5 of many, and MASSIVE, I MEAN, HUMOUNGOUS SPOILERS for Soul Reaver 2 and the 1970’s Warlock)

Awwwwwwwww yeah we are going there, these compositions are most definitely on purpose.

This is where I realize that my true purpose in this world is to draw and talk about obscure or forgotten works of fiction, and I embrace this destiny.

Ladies and gents, laughing times are over (not really though), sh*t gets very real again.

I guess it’s a bit late for this but if you have even the slightest interest in checking any of these properties out, do yourself a favor and go experience them first hand. If you just want to see me lose my mind and don’t really care about spoilers then please, proceed.

You know, when I started this little crossover of sorts, I was just having a laugh you know? It was just a cute little thing, I’ll write this one post and maybe I’ll get enough material for a second one and that’s it. THIS IS THE SEVENTH POST (even though it says Part 5).

Never, and I do mean never in my wildest dreams did I think I would be here one day, talking about having your past and your time-travelling-future selves meet and clash, of seeing your sanctimonious attitude and overall the worst about yourself personified and given free reign to go on bloodthirsty crusades showing off how much of a hypocrite you’ve bee- but wait, I am getting a bit ahead of myself.

I’ll get there I promise, let’s go back a bit.

Where we last left off, we managed to travel back to an even more distant past than we’ve been before. To the time of the great Vampire Purge, so that Raziel can meet this infamous ancient vampire who knows all the lore and might have the answers we seek on what exactly is causing the corruption of our world.

As we step out into this era of History we notice the fields covered with the Sarafan Order banners, and the impaled corpses and chopped-off heads of vampires. No different no doubt from the kindness vampires showed mankind later when they gained the upper hand during Kain’s 1.000 year old reign. Raziel seems a bit distraught by the sight since he assumed the Sarafan to be virtuous and heroic:

“For all the butchery of Moebius’s crusade, this massacre was somehow more chilling. The killing fields of the Sarafan betrayed a kind of orderly ruthlessness, the cold-blooded righteousness of the true believer.”

“Here at last in the flesh, I beheld my former brothers-in-arms, the warrior-priests of the Sarafan order; their lives devoted solely to the annihilation of the vampire plague. And while I confess I felt a twinge of longing, a pang of grief for what I had believed was my lost virtue, I regarded them now with none of the reverence I formally felt. For I had seen the human face of the vampires, and now I beheld the monstrousness of these men.”

While on the topic of genocidal holy wars, my boy Adam here had a bit of a run with a similar pious little group that goes by the name of Universal Church of Truth, who were going about doing a bit of cleaning throughout the galaxy:

Things don’t go so well:

Interestingly enough, I’ve learned of a deleted cutscene for Soul Reaver 2 that plays out very similarly to Adam’s first encounter with this “holy” order. There was this minor female vampire character that was being hunted down and would be executed by vampire hunters right in front of Raziel.

This scene was probably removed because they knew that almost 20 years later there would be some asshole on the internet trying to compare their games to obscure marvel comics of the 70’s.

But yeah bummer for Adam here, we’re a couple of pages in and he’s already failed to save someone. However, through the power of the Soul Gem, he’s able to retain her soul for a brief moment, letting us know more about these holy inquisitors:

Some of these methods don’t seem that far off from the Sarafan, especially on the twisting of good intentions part, but on a galactic scale:

Aye, a great bunch o’ fellas all around, if you submit and “fit in”:

Damn.

Hush Adam, I’ll get back to your predicament give me a moment. I just want the good people at home to keep both this church and the Magus, the god they worship in mind for later.

Now, back to the game. In the Sarafan Stronghold during the first hour of gameplay, Raziel made comments on the vampire he’s currently seeking while looking at some stained glass depictions:

“So this was the legendary Janos Audron - reputed to have been the most ancient and diabolical vampire to have ever existed. According to folklore, he lived high in the cliffs of Nosgoth’s northern mountains, and preyed mercilessly on the defenseless villagers below. His reign of terror ended when the Sarafan finally hunted him down and tore his throbbing heart from his still-living body. (…) But I wondered - could Janos Audron truly have been as monstrous as depicted here? Or was this merely artistic licence by the Sarafan, who sought to lionize themselves by demonizing their darkest enemy?

Keep these stained glass images in mind, they’ll also be important shortly. Neetheless to say, the hype was very real to meet this Janos Audron.

And as I kept hearing about this gentleman, I thought: “I really love this cast of pricks, where everyone speaks in half truths and is hiding something and has some hidden agenda, but you know, I kind of wish there was some slim ray of hope, of goodness and honor, just some good old plain chivalry and honesty. Maybe this Janos lad won’t be as bad as he was depicted back in the Sarafan Stronghold.”

It took us a while but we’re finally make it to his retreat.

I really love the entire segment, the hopelessness and feeling of dread while making your way through this place, probably my favourite puzzle area of the game. I also really love the music and architecture here.

When we do make it to the top, BOY OH BOY were my prayers answered!

Lo and behold, enter Raziel’s new daddy/mentor figure, my man JANOS AUDRON! Proabably the one decent and kind creature I’ve seen yet in these games (if you don’t count helpless human npcs who are just trying to live their lives but are caught in all these wars, slaughter and destruction).

FINALLY an understanding, moderate, compassionate man in the midst of all the lies and deception. I love him! Oh and he has what seems to be a Romanian accent. Maybe a nod to the granddaddy of all vampires: Dracula? I think his design is cool as well, so that helps.

Before we go into huge lore dumps and while on the topic of having a brief father/mentor figure for your protagonist when he’s utterly lost, alone and confused, I thought I’d bridge it with Adam’s own once foster parent, the High Evolutionary:

From the few minutes you get to know these dads they’re very different characters with different backstories and motivations. Janos is this sad lonely old man, the last of the ancient vampires and one who has been keeping himself alive solely for his sense of duty.

While the High Evolutionary was once a man called Herbert Wyndham who performed an experiment that evolved him into a godlike being. This experience proved to be such an assault on his senses and perceptions that he chose to encase himself in this armour. Like the name suggests he is obsessed with genetic manipulation and tampering of various kinds, it is his life’s ambition.

Despite his somewhat villainous appearance, he’s never portrayed as such from what little I’ve read, he’s just…a bit creepy. Like, he takes Adam in and is super stoked about adopting him, but he also values him not so much as a person per se as you and me would, but more as one would value an impressivly carved piece of work:

I don’t know, maybe it’s his metal face that doesn’t emote much; his sometimes questionable morality; maybe it’s the fact that Adam was 5 years old at this point, a baby boy, and this pink armoured deity is super hyped about him; there’s something a bit unsettling about this guy. Have some more dubious quotes I’ve stumbled upon:

All in all, I think he did care about him, in his own strange way:

Anyway, what’s important is that these adoptive dads serve a somewhat similar purpose, and that is to push/urge our ”“”“"heroes”“”“” (I say with many quotation marks) into a more benevolant role: to guide them in their messianic mission and save a corrupted world. Basically there to provide a chance for them to be good boys. Up until now their track record leaves much to be desired, and they’ve been quite lost on what they’re supposed to be and do.

Raziel:

“So it’s all true, then - what Kain and Vorador have told me - I really am some kind of unholy vampire messiah…”

Janos:

“Unholy? -no. Messiah… perhaps.”

Raziel:

“I don’t like that word - it smells of martyrdom.”

Janos:

“Raziel, your role in this world’s destiny is more crucial - and more benevolent - than you’ve allowed yourself to believe. Your journey will not be easy - dark powers are allied against you.”

Oh and both dads give their sons their toys (Soul Reaver and Soul Gem):

Back to the meeting with Janos, we finally learn tons of things, both new and others that have been hinted at throughout, namely:

Janos has been living a life of a recluse, alone, on top of the Aerie;

Janos knows of Raziel (some old legend I think) and has been waiting for him to hand him over the Soul Reaver, saying it is the key to save Nosgoth;

The Pillars of Nosgoth were erected by the ancient vampires and they were the rightful guardians. Janos was called to be th 10th guardian, the Keeper of the Reaver;

Over time this ancient race started to die out, with their history slowly being forgotten;

Humanity prospered and since the Pillars choose their guardians from birth and vampires were no longer born, humans were called to be their guardians but were “wholly ignorant of their true purpose.”

The Circle of human guardians is led to believe (by whom we do not yet know) that vampires are a cancer in the world. Janos warns that “with their vampire purge, the members of the Circle have assaulted the very architects of the Pillars they are sworn to protect (…) With every vampire they kill, the humans are slitting their own throats.”

Janos being a cool level-headed guy here when Raziel says he must hate mankind for all the suffering they’ve brought to him:

“They fear what they don’t understand; and they despise what they fear. But no - I do not hate them.”

I find it funny how Raziel asks if humanity should be forgiven for trying to exterminate the vampire kind and doesn’t realize that: one, he himself was exterminating vampires just a couple of moments ago back in SR1; and two, how he is just like how Janos describes humanity to be:

“They don’t understand what they’re doing. They are simply unenlightened… and vulnerable to manipulation.”

Again, this last line, completely unlike a certain blue shambling corpse I know. Not like him AT ALL.

Then, as they head inside, we learn something odd as Janos presents Raziel with the Reaver. You see, the two times Raziel has been close to the Soul Reaver still in its physical form, reality started to bend and distort (I show it off in this previous post).

When we met Kain and decided not to kill him, he explained that when: “two incarnations of the blade meet in time and space, a paradox is created, a temporal distortion powerful enough to derail history”

This distortion, or sense of displacement however, is nowhere to be found now when Janos presents the blade to him. Raziel feels nothing and says that “this nothingness is somehow worse…” and to get it away from him.

We learn the Reaver was forged by the same ancient vampire race that erected the Pillars (which we’ve seen hinted at when we explored the land and came accross all sorts of old murals).

But now THIS is when the game first impales me through the heart.

Me and Janos are interrupted by the Sarafan warriors who arrive carrying Moebius’ Staff (which disables vampires to the point of being barely able to move at all).

And of course! OF COURSE! Of course the moment my boy Raziel finds a truly positive influence in his life to guide and enlinghten him, and that was willing to put himself in danger in order to save him… he is axed! HEART RIPPED FROM HIS CHEST!

And by whom you ask? Who would do such a deed and kill my last ray of hope?

WHY, ME!

TWICE!

“Me” because I was the one to open an entrance to Janos’ up until then impenetrable retreat, and literally me: human Raziel of the Sarafan that lived during this time period and was head inquisitor!

A bit different from what was depicted back at the Sarafan Stronghold, we found several centuries later (putting the same image here again so you don’t have to scroll up to compare, am I swell or what?):

The Sarafan escape with Janos’ heart and the Reaver, while wraith Raziel has a final moment with Janos.

This part destroys me:

Raziel:

“Forgive me; I’m sorry… I failed you.”

Janos: (gently)

“No, Raziel. Perhaps this was my true purpose - simply to save your life this once.”

Raziel: (distraught)

“While I have taken yours…”

That last bit is probably my favourite line-read in the entire series so far (which is the most impossible thing to choose since there are so many great ones). But I think it’s the overwhelming sadness in Raziel’s voice that makes it memorable, you’ve never seen him feel like this for another creature.

Breaks my stone hardened heart every time I listen to it. And here’s why I think it’s an effective emotional scene, even though we only get a few minutes with Janos before he is murdered - it is because of contrast. Up until now everyone you meet is some degree of a bad or manipulative person, and you don’t really have a true friend or someone to confide in, there’s no one that really brings out the best in Raziel and it sucks because there is potential there. So when you introduce the apparently only decent and noble person in this god forsaken land and you’re so used to by now suspect and mistrust everyone, it is impactful because he was truth and honesty in a sea of deception and moral relativism. He was my light in the midst of the fog and the one who saw good in me. And right when you’re finally relaxing and getting confortable the game pulls the rug from under you.

Now, while on the topic of having your past and future meet, there was a little something about the meeting between Adam and the Universal Church of Truth that I’ve been saving up until now. If you remember, Adam was interrogating the young woman who was killed by the inquisitors about the church and the god they worship. When suddenly:

Good news is, Adam must’ve taken a left turn somewhere and ended up on the set for “Monty Python’s Life of Brian”, where he learned some latin:

This helped him quickly figure out the Magus’ identity:

Learn your dead tongues kids, you never know when it might come in handy when meeting your time travelling, thousands of years old future-self:

So as you can se, we have a similar self-discovery journey going on but reversed in a way. In Raziel’s case you play as his future self, who time travels back in time, meets his past self and sees what a hypocrite he’s been his entire life. In Adam’s case you follow his present self, who meets the Magus (his future self), who has travelled back in time 5.000 years, in which time he has built his empire. Meeting and confronting said empire/future self, leads Adam to see what a hypocrite he’s been his entire life. You see, both Adam and Raziel have always been their own worst enemy (their own shortcomings and character flaws). So it would be only natural that we get embodiments of the worst in them: Raziel, the human Sarafan Warrior and the Magus, their past and future selves respectively.

Oof, this was a long one, and I’ve reach the character limit. In the next post I’ll elaborate more on their characters and different selves; and we go through the roller-coaster of emotions that is the endgame for both these stories.

Look foward to me losing my mind even further while I go into time travelling, paradox shenanigans… oh, and look foward to happier times with COSMIC SUICIDE! See you in the near future.

#the infinity legacy #legacy of kain #soul reaver 2 #raziel #adam warlock #the magus #marvel comics #marvel cosmic #this post drained my spirit #my fan art

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