#my brain just associates them all as that character so they become that character

[bitchslapblastoids]

thinking about and feeling deep gratitude for the fic authors who created works they will likely never know the full impact of. The fics that live in my mind for years on and that my brain still attaches so many associations to; that I still periodically and vividly recall specific moments from despite being years out from the fandoms of origin. Fics that have grown lives of their own within me and have practically become benchmarks in the timeline of my life. Fics I’ve returned to for comfort and escapism after destabilizing life events. Fics I’ve learned new things about the world from! Fics I can still quote passages from.

Fic authors— your story may be that fic for someone (or many someones!) out there who may not even know how to reach you anymore but who live with an imprint of your world and your characters and your love story on their psyche forever. Your headcanons may have become baked into their actual canon! Your work is a part of the fabric of their being!

Thank you fic authors with jobs thank you fic authors with kids thank you fic authors managing courseloads thank you fic authors who meticulously outline their stories for months on end thank you fic authors who do extensive research so they can worldbuild effectively thank you fic authors who love their characters so much they just have to do right by them thank you generous wonderful fic authors who do all of this for fun and for free and who leave their works up and accessible even if they themselves may have moved on thank you fic authors <3 <3 <3

[biblically-accurate-dca]

these are all kind of Bad but this was the best of the bunch so i am posting it :p

i've been trying to draw vanessa more... she is so important to me... sun is here too i guess

[floorpancakes]

thinking abt....🛍️

[starwrighter]

1/?? Halloween prompt

I’ve got brain rot for creepy Deadserious content but only when it’s only seen as creepy by outsiders. (I know I’m writing a fic with a similar plot but it’s different I swear! Also my grammar is shit because I’m getting dental work done tomorrow and I’m nervous) Tw for stalker behavior

So Damian has a crush on Danny and immediately goes about acting on these feelings much to onlookers horror. Danny is swooning because someone made the effort to do a background check on him. Danny thinks Damian doing this is really smart because, he could be a serial killer for ancients sake why would you risk that? Others say this is a horrible invasion of privacy.

Damian not realizing he's being creepy (being liminal and being an ex assassin, turned vigilante wasn't doing him any favors) Plus Danny also not realizing it's creepy unless you relay Damian behavior towards him with different names.

Damian's just being a textbook stalker, breaking into his house and shit and Danny's all like "awwww he likes me" because this is just normal ghostly courting rituals! His dormroom isn't his lair so Damian breaking in doesn't feel like he's violating any sort of boundary. To him it's like a friend showing up at the coffee shop you work at to say hi.

Danny's had stalkers before, he's very cautious of his behavior to insure he never stalked anyone. Being stalked back in Amity was a horrific experience for him. From cameras in the locker rooms at school (wes) to cameras in his bathroom and bedroom at home (Vlad)! He couldn't feel safe anywhere! To Danny Damian's not a stalker, he's his protector. Nobody seems to understand when he tries to explain this though they just look at him like he's lost his mind.

Damian’s not subtle at all and Danny’s kicking his feet like a lovesick school girl who found out her crush likes her back. Overall it’s super cute from their points of view Damian’s planning an official confession to ask him on a date while Danny’s trying to figure out if Damian actually likes him or is just being nice. They’re just doing normal couple things but people just jump and attack Damian’s character while painting Danny as some kind of brainwashed victim.

The thing is… Danny’s become very good at appearing normal while Damian refuses to pretend to be a bumbling idiot like the rest of his family. He also refuses to dull down his personality for anything other than secret identity reasons. For these reasons since their relationship had become public, Damian had been painted by the media as a creepy possessive boyfriend who threatened Danny into a relationship. This infuriates Danny, the only one doing any kind of possession is him god damn it!

They want to be around each other all the time and that’s normal behavior for ghost/liminal couples! They live much longer than regular humans do they’re like elves, their perceptions of time are messed up. They still spend time apart they still have hobbies and an independent life, people just get hung up on the amount of time they do spend together. It’s normal behavior for them to know mountains of information about each others interests to the point they almost know more than each other. It’s normal to know each other’s schedules and background check the people they associate with. (The realms are very dangerous with shapeshifters and manipulators like spectra and Desiree who can ruin your afterlife in a matter of minutes) Their relationship is creepy to those who haven’t gone to extremes to survive.

Damian has taken to ignoring the reputation press has given him. He’s dealt with paparazzi and tabloids before it’s just frustrating to deal with. It’s when people start accusing him of hurting his beloved that really pisses him off.

(Bonus if Danny’s the one frothing at the mouth to maul a reporter while they try to paint him as a poor innocent victim)

I’mma end the prompt with this so everyone understands why Damian specifically being targeted by press. The more liminal you are the more creepy/uncanny you appear to other people and the more effort you have to put in to hide it. It’s why the bats are more believed to be Eldritch creatures than actual humans in suits. Surprisingly becoming a Halfa completely changes this effect to do the complete opposite. It’s easier for the human brain to look at a halfa and think “Innocent or normal,” Vlad and Danny were morons when it came to actually hiding their identity’s it was only their statuses as halfa’s that prevented people from comprehending them being anything other than normal.

In short Damian’s too dead to be perceived as normal while Danny’s too alive to be perceived as anything other than normal.

[bluegiragi]

hello! i'm gira, i go by she/her, and i've been making fanart for the cod fandom for about four months now :) the majority of that time's been spent on the soapbox saga, which is sort of just what i call the very plot-ridden porn comic featuring ghost, soap and konig. and recently i've been working on the monster 141 au!

i'm here to address the reasoning behind how i assigned certain monsters to certain characters, particularly the POC characters as well as accusations of racism regarding me neglecting gaz in all my art :) whoever you are, if you're reading this in good faith, i thank you! i earnestly never intended to make anyone feel uncomfortable from my work.

The Monster AU

i won't post the blog who brought this issue up mainly because, (realistically speaking) i think people might go after them and spam them with hate so I'm paraphrasing here. but basically..."how come all the POC in the Monster AU are assigned animal-associated monsters? Comparisons to animals can be incredibly demeaning when it comes to minorities".

I completely agree! But earnestly, I think my desire to assign every character a 'monster' that was relevant to their culture overshadowed the part of my brain that would've raised red flags about this sort of thing. There's the argument here that I could've assigned these characters cooler monsters such as Price who is a dragon, and Ghost who is a wraith, but I wanted to be respectful of all the minorities in the COD cast by giving them creatures that reflected their culture and personality.

ALEJANDRO - NAGUAL

In the Monster AU, Alejandro is a nagual, which is considered a guardian spirit in Mesoamerican culture. Typically, it's said that the nagual is the shapeshifted form that powerful men can transform into in order to do evil (although that doesn't apply in this case, Ale's a heroic lad), and can come in the forms of a jaguar, deer, dog or bird. I chose a jaguar, since it seemed to be the most common form of nagual depiction in the resources I was looking at. The 'panther mode' isn't pre-established as part of nagual mythology, but since most panthers are just black jaguars, i thought the association wouldn't be unreasonable.

I chose Alejandro to be a nagual because it's so in character for him to be protective of his home. The idea of him being a literal guardian spirit for all he considers his just made sense to me :)

--

RODOLFO (RUDY) - CADEJOS

In this AU, Rudy is the vessel for two cadejos, which are legendary dog spirits popular in the mythology of Central America, parts of South America and Mexico. Historically, they've been known as psychopomps (guides to help humans into the afterlife following their death) but modern interpretation has shifted to depict them as the good guardian dog and the evil attacking dog respectively.

A lot of the minute information about the cadejos tends to differ depending on the source. Like whether they're actually two separate dogs, or they're the same dog just in different 'modes', or how big they are. My personal depiction of them has them sized as normal dogs (although their spirit nature means they can move into small spaces pretty easily by just becoming immaterial temporarily) and as separate spirits that have been passed down through Rudy's family generationally.

I chose the cadejo for Rudy because although I wanted to include him in the Monster AU, i still liked keeping him as a character who was a bit more 'human' than Alejandro. I think Ale needs Rudy to hold him back sometimes, and having the two cadejo definitely helps with that. Sort of like how cheetahs in zoos have therapy dogs growing up because they're so anxious all the time! I think it also does a good job of showing Rudy's two sides as well, like he's a softie who just wants to protect those he loves, but he's capable of a lot of violence too.

--

VALERIA - GORGON

Valeria is a gorgon which, admittedly, is not part of Mexican mythology. However, I was put in a bit of a bind here, since my research didn't really reveal to me a monster in Mexican culture that I thought would suit Valeria's vibe (manipulative, elulsive) and I just felt like a gorgon would be perfect for her. Medusa's myth has her being continuously demeaned by the men in her life and is a symbol of female empowerment, which I thought was a great reflection of the implied reason that Valeria left the army was due to internal sexism. There's also the perfect parallel of how anyone who sees El Sin Nombre's face dies, and Medusa's whole 'turn you to stone' thing.

I thought i could compromise by making Valeria a gorgon but her hair would be Mexican black kingsnakes but...turns out they're actually not that dangerous. Some people even keep them as pets! So I decided to keep the visual, but make her a pit viper, a subfamily of vipers found in the Americas as well as Eurasia.

--

HORANGI - HAETAE

Horangi is a haetae (해태) which is a beast in Korean mythology that typically comes in the form of a horned lion or dog. It's prevalent in a lot of cultures in East Asia actually, although it goes under different names depending on the region - kaichi for Japan, xiezhi for China. I made Horangi a tiger variant on the creature because...well...'horangi' means 'tiger' in korean. It just made sense to me to put that little twist on it.

Typically, haetae are seen as spirits of judgement, that decide on innocent and guilty parties in disputes and punish the latter. It's also considered a guardian against fire (hence the fire immunity and cloud manipulation powers I gave him).

GAZ - HARPY

Gaz is a harpy which, I won't lie, was purely inspired by the fact that he seems to keep falling out of helicopters. But it's also because...yeah, I did neglect Gaz in the soapbox saga. But I think I neglected...everyone in the soapbox saga who weren't directly involved in the main ship. I sort of just tunnel visioned on the main three, so my exclusion of characters isn't just limited to Gaz, it was included Price, Laswell, Alejandro, Rudy, Graves etc.

I just want to make clear that my treatment of Gaz in particular isn't reflective of any inner preference against him. And to make good on that, me assigning Gaz wings of all things was to help me spend more time on him in the Monster AU! I think the contrast between Gaz being an upstart harpy, and Price being a one-winged dragon has a lot of potential as a mentor/protege relationship (and perhaps even something more) and it's why I assigned this monster to him. I really wanted to establish a connection upfront, but just making Gaz another dragon felt cheap - the harpy thing felt a little more in turn with his character :)

--

I really hope this cleared up any remaining frustrations with my designs for the Monster AU. I hope you can see that I never meant anything demeaning by assigning these monsters to their respective characters - in fact, I earnestly tried to go out of my way and be respectful to their backgrounds.

In any case, if you have any more questions I'd be happy to answer them - I'd just ask you to please ask politely :)

[dangermousie]

2023 End of Year Post - cdrama edition

Yes, we have a lot of December left, but I don't think anything else I want to check out will air before 2024 hits (it's cdrama so caveat is - you never know.)

This is only going to cover cdramas that aired in 2023; if I watched it but it was made in a different year, it's not on the list. This was a pretty good cdrama year, all in all.

DRAMAS WATCHED

(In order of liking from least to most as opposed to pure quality; I am including if I’ve seen enough to make up my mind; yes I realize that’s inaccurate, but that’s my list)

30 legend of twin flower - Not dignifying that drama with capital letters, as the only capital that should be associated with this is capital punishment - which is what watching this feels like.

29 Dominator of Martial Gods - sounds like a bdsm gay porn title. Would probably be better acted and written if it was.

28 Beauty of Resilience - you'd need a lot of said resilience to sit through this incoherent, barely acted mess. The thing that I remember the most other than my annoyance is all the jingly-jangly head gear on JJY. Perhaps they could have sold some of them and spent the money on a better script.

27 Divine Destiny - if you think you have too many brain cells and want to get rid of some, boy do I have a drama for you!

26 Wanru’s Journey - honestly it's probably tied with SEL - I mean it's worse but it has actors who are nowhere as well known and a fraction of SEL's budget. Still, this is a big fat nope. I will not say what I think of Aoi Rupeng's "acting" or I'd have to put money in the curse jar.

25 Snow Eagle Lord - Gulinazha's stone face, nonsense plot, terrible CGI. Take your pick as to why this is terrible.

24 Scent of Time - it was uneven but fun but then that ending was dumb enough to destroy the whole thing. Show me on the doll where common sense hurt you, makers!

23 Royal Rumors - Jeremy Tsui and Meng Ziyi are utterly wasted in this nothing trifle of a drama.

22 Legend of Anle - I had high expectations but alas. This is the drama version of color beige. There is nothing offensive about it but nothing good either. Mediocre actors are mediocre, good actors become mediocre, this is just a waste of our finite time on planet earth.

21 Romance on the Farm - it's not you, it's me in action. I can see why people would like this wholesome slice of farming family life, but it's tailored to trigger every one of my "nope" opinions.

20 Back from the Brink - if I were 12, it would be my favorite thing. I am not 12.

19 Journey of Chong Zi - objectively a terrible drama with plot holes the size of Mars and a leading lady whose face has apparently frozen when the wind changed. But I am a total sucker for the trope of upright shizun falling for his demonic disciple and going mental so here we are. Objectively, garbage, subjectively my precious!

18 Love you Seven Times - just call poor Ding Yuxi "Atlas," he carried this mess so hard.

17 Blooming Days - trashy dogblood harem fight fun throwback. It's not that great (and the fact that it was shredded doesn't help) but it's probably the last gasp of that genre for the foreseeable future, so I am grading on a curve.

16 The Starry Love - a fun fantasy where the secondary OTP stole the thunder but overall a really solid fantasy xianxia romance.

15 The Longest Promise - it could have been better - the secondaries were unbearable and there was too much of them and what they did with Alen Fang's character still gives me rage fits, but the main couple was impeccable and lovely and I rooted so hard for them.

14 Chang Feng Du/Destined - visually gorgeous, solidly acted, impeccable first half. Bland as hell second half. Win some, lose some.

13 Circle of Love - this drama is a nonsense trash heap on fire. After a typhoon hit it. It was also the most entertaining, addicting drama on this whole list.

12 Hidden Love - the sole modern on this list, this story has barely any plot but it made me care about the young, decent lovers so hard.

11 Choice Husband - starts out wacky, continues with angst and blood and happy ending. I loved it, but I've always had a soft spot for melo and schemers turning devoted.

10 Pledge of Allegiance - bromance, super solid acting, visuals, a really dark take on officials and the world. Insanely underrated.

9 Provoke - a truly fun Republican revenge and love tale, showing that short format can be wonderful.

8 Gone with the Rain - some of the secondary characters are rage-inducing (hi there, cardboard boy!) but the scheming, ruthless, vulgar FL is amazing and her slowburn with her age gap general who is delighted by her out-there-ness is great!

7 Wonderland of Love - Fei Wo Si Cun goes wholesome and the result is surprisingly entertaining. Battle couple, glorious visuals, a fast paced plot. It's the first Xu Kai drama I enjoyed in years (and he plays a rare cdrama ML it would be pretty neat to pair up with in rl.)

6 My Journey to You - that ending is infuriating (and I am OK with open endings if done properly) but what a visual feast, probably the most gloriously shot drama on this list, and that's a tough competition. Also it packs a hell of a lot of couples and familial and adversarial relationships into its slim running time; assassin lady won over by a gentle man is my favorite trope and so this is extra great.

5. Till the End of the Moon - the ending is a rage-inducing disaster for me, but this drama was the most incredibly emotionally intense, visually eye popping experience. It was deeply flawed but when it was amazing, it was like nothing else in its visuals, its characters and its narratives. It took insane risks; some paid off and some did not, but it was glorious.

4. Story of Kunning Palace - I don't often care for reverse harem stories but this one was such fun - the main OTP was glorious (strong FL, unhinged ML) but honestly everything about this was just so excellently done.

3. The Ingenious One - the most adult drama on this list. Smart protagonists, intelligent plot, emotions that felt true, this is a revenge and a mystery and found family and goes into so many directions you do not expect (Su Mengyu's PTSD after his first kill - that is something you never see in dramas, definitely not prolonged and profound - not like this.) If I was to say which drama was objectively the best on this list, as opposed to favorite, it would be this.

1 (tie) Lost You Forever 1 - this is an exquisite emotional jewel of a story about damaged people moving forward, with damage always present - their past informs their present and always will. The narrative about Xiao Yao and three very different men in her life makes me think that it's an equivalent of a neutron bomb going off right before the main narrative starts and now we are watching the survivors wander in the wreckage. This is very high fantasy setting but it's one of the most emotionally human narratives out there.

1 A Journey to Love - everything I ever wanted - assassins, ride or die adult OTP with genuine believable conflicts, great and complex secondaries, beautiful fights. Oh, and yeah Liu Shi Shi domming the hell out of every man in a ten mile radius, as she should.

FAVORITE DRAMA

It's a tie between Lost You Forever Part 1 and A Journey to Love. LYF1 is a bona fide art piece but it's only part 1 and who knows if part 2 will be any good (seeing the huge ep number cut, I have my doubts) and so it's incomplete. AJTL is an old school wuxia romance with incredibly competent, adult people in love and great cast of secondaries. I can't pick.

WORST DRAMA

romance of twin flower - this is a drama that should not exist. If I could hex everyone involved with it, I would. It's a terrible, stupid, shrill, badly acted drama to start with, but where it really is catapulted into stratosphere of horror is that is took my very favorite non-danmei web novel of all time, a smart and complicated tale with incredible protagonists and turned it into that barftastic abomination. Peng Xiao Ran kept making horrible drama after horrible drama but I kept giving her a chance because of Goodbye My Princess but after this disaster, I've had to accept GMP was a fluke and she is on my "if she's in it, I am out” list. Ding Yuxi is not that far yet (his performance in Seven Lifetimes was the one thing carrying that mess afloat) but he's on freaking thin ice. Anyway, I like to pretend this drama does not exist.

FAVORITE MALE CHARACTER

It was hard because there were so many I loved this year - Deng Wei's traumatized, gentle Seventeen from LYF1 (if someone told me I'd swoon and weep for a character played by Deng Wei, I'd have told them to examine their brains asap), Liu Yuning's incredibly capable, deadly, contained Ning Yuanzhou from AJTL, Zhang Linghe's unhinged Xie Wei from SoKP, Chen Xiao's schemer with a heart Yun Xiang from TIO.

But ultimately, it couldn't be anyone else but Luo Yunxi as Tantai Jin/Demon God/Ming Ye/Cang Jiumin in Till the End of the Moon. He was everything - a demon, a saint, a martyr, a monster, a tormented abuse victim, a savior, joyful, unhinged, smart, pitiable. It was the cdrama performance of the year for me. Luo Yunxi even in a mediocre role is impressive but in a complex (series of) role(s) designed for his strengths, he is a force of nature.

FAVORITE FEMALE CHARACTER

Xiao Yao (Lost You Forever Part 1). Once again, there were runner ups - Bai Lu's smart a little evil FL in Kunning, the gloriously unhinged assassin domme Liu Shi Shi in AJTL, Esther Yu's assassin longing for a different life in MJTY etc etc etc. But Xiao Yao's damaged, difficult, very self-aware woman stole my heart. I was skeptical going in because I haven't enjoyed a Yang Zi performance in a long time, but she was the wounded beating soul of this incredible drama.

NEEDS TO BE MURDERED

Where do we start? How about all of Seventeen's (LYF1) monster family? His brother, who tortured him for years physically and emotionally to such a degree his body is a horror map and his personality is permanently altered because "mommy liked you better." Psycho mother who created a situation where the kids were going to turn on each other and "let's get my grandson raped" grandma. Where is a well-placed meteorite when you need one.

FAVORITE SHIP

Xiao Yao/Seventeen, LYF1. Yes, a ship of characters played by Yang Zi and Deng Wei is my favorite. Leave me alone, I am on my tenth helping of crow already. They are both incredibly damaged, barely functioning survivors who find what they need in the other - he finds a savior and someone who sees him as a man and rebuilds himself around her and she finds someone who will always put her first and only, and subsume himself in her. Is it healthy? No. Does it make sense for them and is it making them slowly functional? Yes.

Runner up: Ren Ruyi/Ning Yuanzhou, AJTL - two adults, so competent, so chemistry full. She has so much damage and so little normalcy but is so strong and he is oddly gentle (in between murders) and incredibly self-reflective. They are each other's mirrors and I love them.

FAVORITE SECONDARY OTP

Su Mingyu/Ke Menglan, The Ingenious One - the idealistic merchant who wants to join jianghu until he sees its horrors firsthand and a slave entertainer who wants security but decides she wants him more. They are gorgeous and glorious and wholesome and I adore them.

Runner up: Liu Gong Quan/Ming Zhu, The Ingenious One - that drama was a shippy gift, especially impressive considering it wasn't even romance-centric. He's the officer who has to bring down her treasonous father but loves her. Delicious.

Another runner up is Chao Feng/Qian Kui, the angelic good girl and the scheming bad boy in The Starry Love. They stole the drama from the main OTP for me.

NOTP

Scent of Time endgame. What the hell was even that. It made NO sense.

FAVORITE SCENE

So many good scenes this year - Tantai Jin taking apart Li Susu in prison in TTEOTM, the OTP fighting in perfect sync and insane rhythm in the gorge battle in AJTL, Chen Ruoxuan's character stopping the execution in Pledge, Yan Lin's coming of age in Kunning, the poison/antidote "gamble" in MJTY, Cang Xuan detoxing in LYF1. But I think ultimately, me being who I am, my favorite scene is Xiao Yao kissing Seventeen's damaged, scarred knee to show he is in no way inferior for her. AAAAA!

In terms of pure jaw dropping visuals tho nothing will ever beat Ming Ye’s battle against the Devil God in TTEOTM.

BIGGEST CRUSH

Ning Yuanzhou, AJTL. He's sexy as hell (that height, that way he moves in battle) but he's also so incredibly competent, so adult, so self-reflective and so attracted to a woman for her strength. He also gets whumped on the reg. Anyway, my hormones are ready.

BEST SCENE STEALER CHARACTER

Gong Yuanzhi (My Journey to You) - I loved the unhinged, brocon poison boy. He was everything. Also Yan Lin (Kunning) - talk about sunshine; I totally got why all these people felt they needed to save him.

NEEDS A SEQUEL

My Journey to You - what the HELL was that ending?

NEEDS SCISSORS TAKEN TO IT

legend of twin flower - that is, stab it with scissors like it stabbed the novel until it's dead.

TOO MANY SCISSORS TAKEN TO IT

Till the End of the Moon - they clearly cut stuff to fit into the new regs about runtime and it made the last 1/5 rather abrupt. Gimme!

TROPE THAT NEEDS TO DIE

The emperor cannot be irredeemable. WTF, China, you are a communist country!

FAVORITE TROPE WE’VE SEEN A LOT OF

This is the year of a ML who yearns to be dommed by his FL. Long may it continue.

BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT

The Legend of Anle - the novel had a great plot, the cast were all actors I either enjoy a lot or somewhat and we got - whatever that soggy piece of wonderbread toast was.

BIGGEST GOOD SURPRISE

LYF1 - I only checked out to mock because nobody could explain the story to me and nobody in the cast did anything I like either ever or in years. And then I fell utterly and completely in love and had to eat so much delicious crow.

2023 DRAMAS I HAVEN’T SEEN THAT I MOST WANT TO WATCH

Ancient Love Song is the only one on that list. It looks really good, I just need to brace myself.

BEST NON-2023 DRAMA I’VE WATCHED IN 2023

The Imperial Doctoress - best slowburn and pining and glorious character development and adult leads.

MOST ANTICIPATED

Anticipating any nonaired cdrama is a mug's game but if they air, I will definitely check out all the Fox Matchmaker dramas, LYF2, JoL2 and The Last Immortal. If Prisoner of Beauty ever is allowed out of the vault (dubious), it goes on the list too.

[that-ari-blogger]

Galinda's True Colours

One key theme in Wicked is superficiality. The world of Oz is a place where honest conversation is difficult to come by. Almost everyone is pretending to be something, or believe something, or have something, all to get what they want.

Popular approaches this theme with the subtlety of a hyperactive wrecking ball and gives a musical monologue about how this world works, and why.

Because Galinda has been portrayed as ditsy up to this point, with a bit of the self-serving schemer archetype thrown in for flavour. But here, we see just how intelligent she is. Galinda has caught on to how the world works, and understands what buttons to push.

Let me explain.

SPOILERS AHEAD (Wicked)

The first element to be brought under examination is Wicked's love for subverting expectations. By this, I mean that certain mindsets in the world have stereotypes associated with them, take idealism and cynicism for example.

From what I have observed, when a writer wants to use one of these archetypes, they will probably draw on a few common ideas. The former is usually portrayed as stary-eyed and naive, or unflinchingly positive. Cynicism meanwhile has a certain sarcasm to it. A cynic might feature a permanent scowl and a dry remark as a kneejerk reaction to anything.

In short, Cynics are usually written to be villains who are overcome by hopeful heroes, or to be heroes who are proven right by a world where hope is meaningless. Idealists on the other hand are either heroes who make the world a better place by sheer force of goodness, or naive fools who the world breaks down.

Obviously, there are exceptions to the rule, but those exceptions are mostly more developed characters in their own right, so the label of "a cynic" doesn't really fit them. Batman is an idealist (when he's written properly).

What is fascinating about Wicked is how the characters are presented. Elphaba is introduced as cynical, she fits the archetype to a tea. But after a musical number, her character swaps entirely. She keeps the sarcasm, but the hopefulness becomes a driving force that goes against the stereotype.

Galinda is... introduced as a bit of a ditz. She's got an ego, she gets what she wants all of the time, she has a well-known family. She's the generic rich kid, essentially. Fiyero gets the same treatment.

For the record, By Galinda, I mean young Glinda, and I am treating them as separate entities until they meet back up.

Anyway, when Galinda starts singing, her real worldview becomes clear. It's possible to argue that it wasn't particularly hidden to begin with, but in Popular, she bludgeons you over the head with it.

"Celebrated heads of state Or 'specially great communicators Did they have brains or knowledge? Don't make me laugh! They were popular! Please, it's all about popular! It's not about aptitude It's the way you're viewed"

As much as I despise it, Galinda is kinda right here.

In 1964, Henry Littlefield published an essay in the American Quarterly titled The Wizard of Oz: Parable on Populism in which he gave some opinions on a theoretical metaphor inherent in The Wonderful Wizard of Oz book (if you don't want to read it, TedEd has a video discussing it and its legacy). He claimed that it was an inherently political book about the time Baum wrote it.

The sparkly new world looks even better if you put on tinted glasses, and only works if you understand that the wizard's power is empty, so Littlefield proposed.

Scholars since have praised, debated, and debunked Littlefield's essay. Pointing out the fact that this is pattern recognition with hindsight, in the same way that you can look to the stars and see a goat.

Essentially, there is an argument for The Wonderful Wizard of Oz being political, and there is an argument (most famously made by its Baum himself) that it is just a children's book.

Wicked is a satire, and not a children's book, so it gets away with some heavy insinuation, but to avoid landmines and a lack of knowledge on my own part, I am going to talk exclusively about how this affects the land of Oz itself, rather than its implications for the real world. Please don't argue in the replies.

So, Galinda's hypothesis here is that the leaders of Oz do not get to where they are because of any actual skill, but rather because they were well liked by either the people, or their superiors. She gets proven right about this throughout the musical. Madam Morrible moves up in the world by presenting Elphaba to the wizard, the Wizard gained power by giving Oz a common enemy, and Galinda and Fiyero themselves gain status seemingly out of nowhere.

In Oz, it doesn't matter what you know, but who you know, and who knows you.

In the show that I watched, Galinda was played by Courtney Monsma, who knocked this number out of the park. Galinda is an incredibly cynical character, but Monsma played her with what I can only describe as "manic pixie energy", which circles back to Wicked's idea of superficiality.

Because the ditzy pantomime of Galinda present in What is this Feeling and half of Dancing Through Life is nothing compared to the madness that is Popular. This is a character who knows exactly how to toss her hair to get what she wants, who knows how to make people think she is something she isn't.

Monsma played a character who was well aware that perception would get her further in life than intelligence, and was having fun with that confidence. But she is actually clever, Galinda has picked up on this fact that everyone else has just accepted subconciously, but now she can explain it.

This song feels like a hyper fixation rant. The frantic obsession was a mere outlet for the excitement of finally being able to speak to this worldview head on to someone who she respects and knows will actually understand her. This song feels like Galinda and Elphaba are on emotional and intellectual equal footing.

This song is also part of my case for Wicked as a queer musical that only works as a story because the romance doesn't. As in, this is a story about a romance that could have been, and that romance reads as queer to me. I will get more into it next week, but for now, I will say this:

This song doesn't matter, and that's exactly why it does matter.

This is the moment when Elphaba and Galinda connect, and share. This is Galinda trying to give back for the wand and make up for her previous behaviour to make Elphaba less of an outcast. But she has already done that.

The moment at the end of Dancing Through Life when Elphaba and Galinda share the spotlight, when Galinda makes herself look like a fool to match Elphaba, when she lets the outcast lead, and the rest of the room goes along with it. That moment is when the romance is kicked off, that is the moment when she starts making amends. That is the moment when she starts to make Elphaba less of a social pariah.

That dance renders Popular superfluous, or at least it does on paper. In reality, this song is doing a lot of heavy lifting in the foreshadowing department, even more so than What is this Feeling, in my most humble of opinions.

Popular happens because Galinda is right about so much in her world, but wrong about the most important thing. Brains and knowledge are irrelevant in Oz, perception is powerful, but empathy rules them all.

Galinda gives this big show of how amazing she is for helping people. Look at her, she's so good. But, Elphaba doesn't care about that, and Galinda does. The romance doesn't work in the end because Galinda realises too late that in the big scheme of things, superficiality is nowhere near as fulfilling as connection. That's why her romance with Fiyero breaks off, and its why her romance with Elphaba is doomed. She only realises this when both options are off the table.

The romance between Elphaba and Galinda breaks apart, but it can only do that because it was there to begin with. You can't tear down nothing.

You could read the relationship as entirely platonic, a friendship that breaks down. But art is subjective, and to me, the romance makes this story so much more compelling.

Final Thoughts

Popular is a popular song in the fanbase. It's an absolute bop, but it's also one of the simplest numbers in the entire production. The set is two beds, there is no fancy dancing, just one character sitting still and the other jumping around like she's on springs. The set doesn't change, there are no extra characters, nothing.

This song doesn't let anything distract from the character drama that is going on in centre stage, so that the audience can take in what is actually being said and done.

Next week, I am taking a look at I'm Not That Girl, and I will being going all in on the queer reading of this musical. Although, that is a heterosexual love song, right? How could that be queer? I have thoughts, so stick around if that interests you.

Previous - Next

(Images were sourced from this video)

[phantomyre]

Analyzing Chaos, the Gi, and potential part 3 ending [long post]

DISCLAIMER: This post as been long over-due. I tried to organize my thoughts as best as I could, so I apologize if it's a bit scatter-brained. Also just remember-- this is all just speculation for entertainment purposes. And me just trying to make sense of all this. DISCLAIMER #2: There are a lot of new FF7 fans, and many are looking for more information on Vincent. Therefore, I will be mentioning some things that are common knowledge to most FF7 fans for the sake of the new fans. The Gi's wish seems very reminiscent of a concept within Dirge of Cerberus' lore. Chaos is depicted as Gaia's final executioner-- the planet's naturally created weapon. Presumably, if Meteor fails, and the Gi learn about Chaos, it might prompt them to seek out his aide as a final resort, or plan B. Given Vincent's sympathetic nature towards monsters, it wouldn't be far fetched to assume Vincent would actually heed the Gi's plight.

On one point: Vincent's compassion for suffering monsters is both a strength and weakness of his. On one hand, Vincent wants to end their pain. However, he refuses to enact it himself, pushing the dirty act to a more willing accomplice, such as Cloud (who is all too eager to murder). A secondary point: According to Dirge of Cerberus lore, Chaos is born of the Lifestream and is thus able to return to the planet when all's said and done. The Gi are noted to be from another world of sorts, and are thus rejected by the planet. Now here is where I'm going to interject something... And I'll start with this image.

The spirits of the Gi look oddly similar to the spirits of Chaos/Vincent in Dirge of Cerberus. As noted in Rebirth, the Gi are of corrupt origin, perhaps even coming from the same source Jenova hailed from. One reason for this is that whenever we see this purple magic color, it's always associated to Jenova or Sephiroth. And as far as we know, Jenova is the source of all things evil/corrupt in the world of FF7. The only other character we've seen wielding purple magic of obvious sorts is Nero-- a character made of the same tainted substance that Chaos is made of, which is why in DoC, Vincent is not affected by Nero's darkness as they are basically one and the same.

Disclaimer: I do not subscribe to the idea that Stagnant Lifestream is totally separate from Corrupt Lifestream. My current assumption is that both are made of corrupt energy which is the same substance that Sephiroth is trying to create. The JP translation for 'stagnant lifestream' is 'corrupt energy'. Terra Corrupt. So unless they make a clear distinction between the two, I believe there is only one source of corruption, and 'stagnant' lifestream is no different from corrupt lifestream. I've heard decent theories for and against, but I'm personally in the 'stagnant = corrupt' camp so this is how I'll base my analysis moving forward.

Point being, it seems that both the Gi, Chaos, Nero, and Jenova/Sephiroth all are linked, in that they are all of 'corrupt' origins. And it is this corruption that the planet wants to purge out and separate from the pure Lifestream. Therefore... if my assumption is correct about Chaos and all of the other dark entities being related, it wouldn't make sense for the planet to accept Chaos back into the Lifestream, especially given the implications of Chaos' spirit and the spirit of the Gi (see gif above).

Chaos cannot return to the lifestream if he is made of corrupt essence like Jenova and the rest. Yes, Dirge notes that 'Chaos and Omega have returned to the planet'. However, Chaos' fate is to be left behind with the burdens of a dying world. If Chaos were part of the planet, wouldn't he be allowed to rejoin the Lifestream and just dump the corruption on the dead planet (aka let the corrupt spirits wander endlessly just like the Gi spirits)? Why is it Chaos' fate to stay behind? Why does he have to become the vessel to retain all corrupt Lifestream? One concept is that Chaos is indeed a 'neutral' WEAPON who then becomes corrupted through the absorption of the corrupt Lifestream, thus necessitating him being left behind. A second concept would be that Chaos' origins is actually of corruption and therefore by default can no longer re-enter the Lifestream. There is a third option which is where I'm currently leaning...

Within the Temple of the Ancients, there is a mural on both sides. The 'corrupt' version has what appears to be a crown that is of similar design to Chaos' head-dress, in that they both have 7 prominent spikes. Though admittedly a weak connection, this discovery caused me to lean towards the notion of Chaos being corrupted by Jenova's influence via the Lifestream. Meaning-- perhaps there was a 'neutral' Chaos created by the Planet. However, Jenova has corrupted that Chaos, tainting his form into something of her likeness. One thing that supports this theory is based on an interview with regards to Omega, which was conducted after Dirge of Cerberus was released into the public. According to Chiba, the Omega we see in Dirge of Cerberus is not the true form due to it being created artificially vs naturally. Thus leading to an Omega that is corrupt and brings devastation. Seeing as Chaos and Omega are figures of yin-yang, coexisting to balance one another, it begs the question of whether or not Chaos in DoC is also corrupt since he is 1) not born by natural means, ie Lucrecia/Grimoire extracted his essence and was planted into Vincent, and 2) could be tainted by Jenova herself either by the Lifestream from where Chaos was supposed to be born within the grotto.

Either way, whatever Chaos' origins, he could be essentially treated as any other being with Jenova corruption, in that he would be denied the ability to rejoin the Lifestream. Chaos is to be abandoned on a dead planet, acting as the tomb for all rejected corrupt Lifestream/souls. Source:

Now hold up, you might ask... Am I implying that Vincent could have Jenova cells? Maybe. Sorta. Here's my reasoning, starting with Lucrecia's inner dialogue in Dirge of Cerberus:

While not directly stated, it is implied Vincent has Jenova cells inside him. Whether this is true or not is up for debate (and has been for years). Nonetheless, it is prudent to note the following:

1) Vincent was being experimented on in tandem with the Jenova project.

2) Every lab-created monster in the world of FF7 has either had Jenova cells, muted Jenova cells (i.e. Sephiroth, Genesis and Angeal cells), or mako infusion.

3) Jenova is a shapeshifter

So again, I'm not stating this as solid evidence. I've looked into other possibilities as to how and where Hojo obtained the likes of Galian Beast, Hellmasker, and Death Gigas. Granted, it very well could just be mako-saturation and then Hojo splicing mutated beast DNA into Vincent. However, the fact that Vincent can retain his human form and transform at will gives me pause. The only other character with this ability to morph/transform at will is Azul, and we do know Azul has less concentrated forms of Jenova cells in the form of G-cells. And just so I cover all grounds, it also wouldn't be out of the possibility if Hojo had implanted some of Sephiroth's cells into Vincent as a twisted form of punishment, since (we assume) Vincent was being operated on in tandem with Sephiroth (presumably after birth). It might give reason to why Vincent has very similar characteristics to Jenova in terms of his monster abilities, and...

I'm just saying.

There's something about that left eye. But anyway... whatever the reason, there just seems to be a link between the two, and the sky's the limit as to what that truly means. Returning back to the topic of Chaos... Knowing what we know about Nero vs Chaos, particularly with Nero who seems to not only wield darkness but also absorbs it into himself, this leads me to believe that Chaos is also capable of absorbing corruption/darkness as well. As a matter of fact, Death Penalty (Chaos' weapon), is already stated to have this ability.

"Firepower increases as Vincent collects the essence of corrupted life."

So yes. At least according to DoC lore, Chaos is capable of absorbing/wielding corrupt lifestream which allows him to become even more powerful. ...Now doesn't that sound familiar? Who else wants to collect corrupt Lifestream and utilize it for power, I wonder...

Whether or not Sephiroth may have a use for Chaos or Nero is up in the air, but it is worth noting both Chaos and Nero possess a function that aligns with Sephiroth's goals-- namely both can absorb corrupted Lifestream, and presumably act as vessels. Previously, Sephiroth's ambition was to become a god and sail the cosmos. However, Rebirth Sephiroth seems to have even bigger ambitions that expand beyond just being a god and controlling the planet. Aerith even hints at this when she asks him 'How can you want an eternity of loneliness?' What is Aerith implying here? Recall that Chaos' fate is to destroy all of life on Gaia and to be left alone on a dead planet.

We do not fully know Sephiroth's end-game yet of course. But taking into Sephiroth's emphasis of 'homecoming' and becoming reborn (in Rebirth), there seems to be a strong emphasis in creating a new world where he would be the sole ruling entity. His own Neo-Gaia if you will. And he intends to do that by corrupting and concentrating corrupt Lifestream. We actually get to witness the corrupting of the Lifestream via this strange magenta-red color as seen below. By the way, keep this reddish color in mind...

Theoretically, and if we stick to DoC lore, this corruption is what Chaos is meant to absorb in order to purify the Lifestream before it is taken by Omega. And by way of association, Chaos is also expected to absorb the corrupt spirits of the Gi. What would happen if Sephiroth succeeds in fully corrupting the Lifestream? Does this not by default empower Chaos, as well (since Chaos is soul wrought of Terra Corrupt, ei. 'planet corruption')? ...Is Sephiroth seeking to (more or less) assume the role of Chaos in terms of function and fate? Is this what Aerith meant by 'how can you want an eternity of loneliness'?

To further drive home the idea that Jenova, Sephiroth, the Gi, and Chaos/Vincent might be linked, consider the use of a particular color that (as far as I've seen) has only shown up on three particular subjects-- namely Vincent, Gi Nattak, and the Black Materia. Recall that reddish pink color I referenced above when the Lifestream was actively being corrupted? Well, this same magenta red color shows up on Vincent, the Gi, and the Black Materia.

And we all know how much the FF7 dev team love to use nuanced symbolism in their story telling.

Here is what I believe part 3's ending might entail...

With regards to Sephiroth and the WEAPONS (recall Chaos and Omega are also WEAPONS), Rebirth showed us how even Sephiroth isn't strong enough against the WEAPONS at this time. When Sephiroth tries to cut through the WEAPON that had Tifa inside it, Sephiroth actually struggled which is something we've never really seen; and that was apparently an infant WEAPON according to the Ultimania. This makes sense considering he doesn't have his full power yet, but it is worth noting the WEAPONS are on another level, and currently Sephiroth isn't strong enough to defeat a WEAPON, yet.

Assuming Cloud and Co take out the WEAPONS with the exception of Chaos and Omega (and likely this will awaken Genesis. Let's be honest), this will force the planet into emergency mode, awakening Chaos and Omega. Assuming things play out similarly and Meteor is stopped, let's not forget the Gi who have been yearning for their destruction (and by association, the planet's destruction). Aerith's statement at the very end of the game 'I'll stop the Meteor' sounds like a spoiler, but I think it's meant to make us realize it's not really about Meteor anymore. My theory is that it has more to do with the WEAPONS.

So where does this leave Vincent and his potential role in part 3? Vincent's dilemma:

With regards to the Gi, Vincent may be caught between aiding the Gi in their plight aka allowing chaos to occur. Red would be Vincent's accomplice in this. And with regards to Sephiroth, though Vincent has resolved to kill Sephiroth to correct his mistake, I can see him having a crisis at some point, causing him to sympathize with Sephiroth; this would drive a wedge between Cloud and Vincent. Because let's be honest... Cloud is being set up to either lose all his friends or to walk away from them and end up going to Sephiroth, begging on his knees. With regards to Vincent's end-game--- Let's assume Sephiroth does successfully corrupt a large part (or all) of the Lifestream. After the WEAPONS are defeated and Meteor has been stopped, the planet is forced to resort to its final act of preservation, summoning Chaos and Omega. Knowing that an artificially awakened Omega = harmful Omega, and having the Lifestream corrupted, Chaos (unless controlled by Vincent) will follow its fate by absorbing all corrupt Lifestream, including the Gi's spirits. I'm of the belief that Vincent would be the type to embrace his fate.

In DoC, Vincent goes against his fate and ends up bringing down Omega along with the tainted Lifestream. This included Jenova and Sephiroth's essence. So while Vincent did end up saving the planet in DoC, he perpetuated Jenova/Sephiroth's existence on that planet. Because remember, so long as Cloud remembers Sephiroth, he will always exist. So by going against his fate, Vincent prolongs Sephiroth's existence. Therefore, it makes more sense for Vincent to choose to adhere to his fate and become the vessel of corruption so that his loved ones may escape. Whether or not this happens is obviously unknown, but Vincent may have to choose between submitting himself to his fate or go against it, and somehow still prevent Sephiroth from returning.

One other theory I have is that Sephiroth might be seeking to use Cloud as his vessel. It does seem more likely that Sephiroth would be the one to absorb all of the corruption into himself, but there is a possibility Sephiroth wants to use Cloud's body instead, thus becoming 'reborn' through Cloud, and Cloud's existence coming to an end. Of course Vincent would want to intervene. Long story short-- I don't see Vincent getting a happy ending. He would certainly have closure, but his end might be grim.

[katapotato55]

How to write a good metaphor

yall seemed to like my post on "how to write good horror" so i figured i should make another one of these.

1- do. not. explain. the. metaphor.

don't.

"oh but how will the audience know my deep and meaningful message- "

SOME PEOPLE WONT GET IT. if you explain what you mean then suddenly the metaphor won't be deep anymore. it becomes a generic forced message.

i know you are tempted to make a character infodump about everything, fucking don't.

followup on this:

2- a good metaphor should potentially have multiple interpretations.

"but i don't want people to get the wrong impression of the story!"

then you either need to make damn sure its an elegantly written metaphor, or none at all. the death of the author is the idea that everyone has their own vision of a story they read, rearguards of authors intent. you need to come to terms with this or else you won't improve your writing skills.

you need to trust that your audience is intelligent enough to understand the metaphor on their own without bashing them over the head with it. sometimes people misunderstand meaning, it is a fact of life.

The game little inferno was thought of as a metaphor about pollution, in which later the creators went out to say it was actually about capitalism and wasting your life with things like exploitative mobile games. you just need make it SUBTLE and hope for the best.

3- The story/gameplay/etc should inform the metaphor(and sometimes reference real life examples)

To mention little inferno again, the "you must wait x amount of time for in-game item to be given to you" is a mirror of mobile games in the real world that use timers to leach money from you.

another example: analogue horror.

broken old technology is scary on its own, but many good analogue horror artists tend to use this to the advantage.

analogue horror can be used as a metaphor for dying trends and technology, like how in the 30's through 70's we used asbestos in the walls. Analogue horror makes a great parralel to this idea (see Blue_channel by gooseworx for a good example.) . the audience questions WHY this is on an old CRT tv and not just a smartphone, perhaps to imply this was an event that happened years ago.

undertale is another example, where most RPG's encourage you to fight and to level up, undertale uses this as a simple metaphor about obsessive control and being cruel to get an arbitrary achievement (i recommend the escapist's video on "why i didn't review undertale" on youtube for way better examples)

tldr: a metaphor is stronger if you lightly reference real life occurances and implement your metaphor in the medium presented.

4- the curtains are blue because they are blue.

not everyone is going to understand your metaphor

and not everyone is going to notice every single little metaphor you add to your story.

remember those teachers that would constantly stretch to imply something in a story is a metaphor and that the curtains are blue because of some deep metaphor for death and sadness and shit?

those teachers are full of it. ignore them.

metaphors are allowed to be simple. not every metaphor needs to be a hyper deep depth defying world changing thing. I could even argue a bunch of small metaphors connected to each other can be better than one big metaphor depending on your story.

relax. don't think too much about it because your average audience member won't.

5- study movies, tv, books, games, etc and understand why their metaphors work.

don't fall into that "the curtains are blue because of a deep message" English teacher mindset mind you.

"but how do i tell what is and isn't a metaphor?" you may ask

simple. trust your gut. you won't understand everything you come across but the human brain has a way of telling what is and isn't a metaphor in stories.

(spoiler about bugsnax)

I could argue Bugsnax is a metaphor about drug abuse and addiction. The characters have personality traits commonly associated with people vulnerable to drug addiction. An athlete, a hippy, a married couple going through a rough spot in their marriage with the threat of divorce, a mentally ill person with trauma and paranoia, etc.

It isn't obvious, many people may disagree with me, but you can't deny that there are signs i may be right.

(end of spoiler) the point i am trying to make: don't stretch to find a metaphor when you don't see one. if you are curious google other people's theories and make your own opinion. metaphors are hard and you will learn over time. and finally 6- do not ever do "it was all just a dream" or "the character is secretly in a coma" etc this applies to writing in general but it is still related to metaphors. the only time i have seen this done well is driver san francisco, but what it did right was A- make it so the players can guess ahead of time the mystery, such as the radio saying voices of your character in the hospital, or if you zoomed out you could hear a heart monitor. and B- it didn't completely un-do the entire story. that is my core issue with this trope. it either wastes your time un-doing the entire story readers worked hard to finish, or it is just nonsensical and terrible. "dora the explorer is actually in purgatory!" "spongebob is a metaphor for the 7 deadly sins!" "ash is in a coma and that is why he never ages! " ooooor it is a cartoon and you are forcing meaning that doesn't exist in something that doesn't even imply it. the world being a bit weird is not enough to be a metaphor for anything. If you want to make a good metaphor: do more effort than just slapping a lazy "it was all a coma" thing at the end. Like horror, stuff like this needs to be built up properly. also consider authors intent. I understand death of the author and all of that, but do you really think a retired marine biologist made spongebob to be a complex metaphor about sinners in hell ? (rip Stephen Hillenburg btw. we didn't deserve him.) thank you for reading, hope this helps. and please, learn to understand the tropes of metaphors before you attempt to make the story of a generation. edit- adding a couple more things i forgot 7- "the darkness is going to destroy the land or whatever!" i see this used all the time. spooky wookey dark shadowy bits going to destroy a land and is the hero's generic bad thing to fight. stop it. it is not a deep and complex metaphor about depression or whatever the hell you are on about. its lazy and stupid. 8- a story should stand up on its own regardless if audience members understand the metaphor or not I don't like Gris. it is a very pretty game with lovely visuals But also the entire story is just the main character moping about artistically and shit and go on about how artistically sad and dramatic this all is. if i don't understand the story without understanding the metaphor, then your story and your metaphor sucks. an example of a metaphor done well: spiritfairer without the metaphor, it is a simple game about running a traveling boat. even if you didn't care too much about the deeper meaning it is a cute story and the gameplay is fun (spoiler) if you look deeper, it can also be taken as a metaphor about greif and learning to accept your loved ones will one day die. things like the boat being filled with empty houses you can't remove is a good example of this. (end of spoiler) your story needs to stand up on its own to be good. don't use a metaphor as a crutch.

[wordsandrobots]

Huh. Actually -- since I'm stuff home sick and my brain refuses to shut up and let me sleep -- apropos of reblogging @superhelltubedotsys' post citing Barbatos Lupus Rex's status as a werewolf Gundam, I'm now thinking about the significance that has within Iron-Blooded Orphans (some spoilers follow).

Because Barbatos the demon has no association with wolves in the Ars Goetia. The nearest applicable part is "He giveth understanding of the singing of Birds, and of the Voices of other creatures, such as the barking of Dogs", which is fitting for Mikazuki and plays into the comparison between mobile armour Hashmal and a bird, but pointedly does not imply 'appears as a giant fuck-off wolf monster with a knife-tail'. That description would seem more appropriately applied to Amon, the immediately prior demon, number seven: "He appeareth like a Wolf with a Serpent’s tail, vomiting out of his mouth flames of fire . . ."

But of course, Gundam Barbatos' steady revision towards the Lupus Rex form is a drift away from its initial design. Exactly how much influence the Ars Goetia descriptions had on the Gundam project and how much they were just used as a naming convention is a little up in the air. Some do seem to be applicable (Zagan being a 'bull with gryphon wings', Flauros switching between the forms of a leopard and a man, etc.). Others . . . well, Bael is supposed to appear as either a toad, a cat, or a man, or all three at once, and while that has some applicability to McGillis' whole deal, it's not really a match for Gundam Bael's angelic form. Nor do the Gundam's abilities evoke demon!Bael's power to render someone invisible. However, I think we can safely conclude that, in-universe at least, the goetic demons are only pertinent to the Gundams' initial appearances and capabilities.

Barbatos' revisions throughout Season 1 are instead a gradual cannibalisation of various different sources of technology and weapons to get it back into fighting shape (Teiwaz technically restores it to its original appearance, but that doesn't last past the Dort arc; thereafter, we're back to bolting on any spare armour going). Barbatos Lupus then represents a significant step towards redefining it in line with the Chief's goal of creating an 'ultimate' version based on Mika's battle data, with Barbatos Lupus Rex being the end-point for that progression.

Put simply, Barbatos gradually becomes more and more tailored to Mikazuki, specifically. To digress for a moment, this forms a big part of my reasoning that Mika being able to use the katana properly at the climax of Season 1 represents the influence of Barbatos' original pilot; after this, he ditches that kind of weapon entirely. Even while fighting Hashmal, he reaches for the biggest club available (technically, a broad-sword, but so ridiculously huge nobody could call it a precision weapon). It's another interesting detail that Mika can't beat Ein in their final face-off by fighting like himself, which comes back around again as the back half of Season 2 kicks into gear.

Anyway, my point is this: being a werewolf is not inherently part of Barbatos' deal. Rather it represents Mikazuki's growing influence -- as you might thematically expect for a union with a character named after the moon (crescent moon, specifically, though I can't imagine the association wasn't intended given Tekkadan are wolf-coded in the text). And that's fascinating because as I've written about before, Barbatos and Mikazuki are the most blatant example of a devil's bargain in the show. The kid literally sells and arm and a leg (and an eye) for the power Barbatos can give him. And yet, the bestial aspects Barbatos takes on are rooted in Mika.

There's an echo of Gundam Wing's 'Gundams are a curse' refrain in IBO. These machines bring bad luck to everyone who pilots them, as a function of representing humanity subsumed by war. The inherent gamble of the Alaya-Vijnana, the overwhelming nature of the conflict they were built to end, the fact Gundams are never sufficient on their own to change the world -- it forms an unspoken counter-argument to McGillis' zealous faith in their status as symbols of transformation that is actually very in keeping with the demonological tradition from which they take their names. What they offer is costly and potentially damning, while also largely illusory when it comes to anything other than utter destruction. Indeed, Mikazuki is a living testament to how 'cursed' their pilots are.

It just happens that he was able to curse Barbatos back.

Because that's what Barbatos Lupus Rex is, isn't it? Put side by side with its original form, this is a clear degradation of a proud warrior into a savage beast. The same design elements persist, of course, yet by the end, it's near impossible to picture Barbatos as an elegant fighter making precision strikes with a honed sword. It has become a true berserker, tearing into its opponents with teeth and claws (well, claws and knife tail). As Tekkadan in general tend to, Mikazuki strips away the affectations of nobility and 'honourable' warfare in favour of brutal reality.

The detail of the Lupus Rex form merging parts of a mobile armour into a Gundam only heightens this. Weapons are weapons, whoever they serve and whatever guise they wear. Mikazuki is always honest about that. His awed response to Hashmal is of a piece with how easily he fits within Barbatos. He sees himself as equivalent to them -- has, in fact, constructed his entire identity around being so.

Thus, the lycanthropy he inflicts on Barbatos is of a kind that merely reveals the truth lurking under the skin. It was always an instrument of devastation. Now it looks the part.

[artist-issues]

Listen, insecurity is self-focus. It's hard to have, it's sad to struggle with, it's a bloody battle to fight against it—but that is still what it is. It's you, tunneling your vision onto your flaws, then constructing your life and the way you interact with the outside world around hiding those flaws. Or, maybe you're not hiding them—you're just ordering your life so that you feel some control over the flaws. Or you're not acknowledging them as flaws at all, you're saying "flaws" but you're treating them like "badges of identity, who I am, unique character traits I'll always be dramatically associated with."

That's insecurity. You're not secure in who you are, where your worth comes from, and what your purpose is, so you make it up for yourself. Whether that looks like hiding the flaws or pretending to own the flaws.

BUT. Then insecurity still controls you. One way or another—because you're constantly fighting it with tools that don't work, because they're all based on you. Your opinion of yourself. Self-focus. And you can't be trusted to maintain a sound, or even accurate opinion of yourself at all times. You're the least objective observer of your own self.

But if you keep it, the rampant self-focus leads to deep darkness that you can’t find or feel the way out of. You can start thinking that you have no impact for good or bad (because you “impacting something” has become the dream) in life, so maybe you better have an impact in death.

What you really need is someone outside of you, who knows you perfectly and you can't hide your flaws from them or fool them with overcompensation, to assign worth to you. And purpose. And because that person is objectively right about you, and loves you, they're an anchor when your own opinion of yourself gets skewed--or when others who don't know you skew it. Then you can rely on that anchor and stop focusing on yourself so much, because the anchor is there, He's not going anywhere.

So here's my take on Clancy, Trench, and the whole DEMA thing.

1. Who is Clancy?

The protagonist. The little red “you are here” embodiment of where Tyler Joseph is, in his own brain, as he goes through different headspaces. I don’t think he’s all of Tyler at once all the time, but for the purposes of this post he’s Tyler, in the same way that the little car emoji in your GPS is ‘you’ on the map.

The main thing about Clancy is that he has only a few characteristics.

Characteristic 1) He’s got a special gift.

It appears to be “writing,” at first, but then that’s expanded to “he’s good at using creativity.” You can tell, because when the Bishops don’t kill him even when he becomes a symbol of rebellion—which wasn’t really something he did on purpose—instead, they make him write for them. And later, that’s expanded to “good at using creativity,” because Clancy a) has been able to escape an inescapable city by performing and b) is the only character we’ve seen gifted with NED’s seizing antlers—which are literally “what grows out of the head of creativity.”

Characteristic 2) He doesn’t know what’s going on, and he’s never 100% sure what to do about it even when he does have a grasp of his situation.

This characteristic is important. Clancy is an instrument in other characters’ hands. He does choose to escape, but his resolve to stay out of DEMA is pretty shaky. When he escapes, he isn’t sure where he’s going. When he’s brought back, he’s not sure if he was actually brought back or if he gave up. When he is rescued the second time, it’s because he’s needed for something, not because planned it. When he’s captured the second time, it’s because he’s needed for something, not because he decided to go back. When he’s set free on the submarine, it’s because someone else planned to rescue him. When he starts the burning of DEMA, it’s because someone else gave him the antlers.

And the entire time, he’s sort of going back and forth as far as how he feels about it all. He definitely doesn’t like DEMA, but he doesn’t really know what else to put his trust in. He doesn’t know what the Banditos are planning well enough to take part in it. He’s “blown about by every wind.”

Until this album cycle. When he very definitively decides he is going to burn DEMA down, follow the plan of the Torchbearer, and use the gift he’s been given to do it. He even starts to understand what old dreams and feelings of attack were coming from. So there’s that.

Basically, Clancy is a character who grows and changes. He goes from “where am I and where should I be going?” to “I know where I’m going, even if I don’t know if I’ll make it or how to get there, and I’m going to take the steps I can.” Which is important, when the setting of “going somewhere” is Tyler’s psyche.

And with that:

2. What is DEMA?

It’s Tyler’s bad headspace. If Clancy’s there, he’s trapped in the headspace where dark thoughts run the show, and he easily slips into patterns that they lay out for him.

This is Biblical, too, this whole “separating parts of your mind,” instead of letting your thoughts run rampant. 2 Corinthians 10:5 is all about spiritual warfare, and the lies of this world and evil, trying to convince you of things that aren’t true, and how the anchor you can tie your thoughts down to is “Who Christ is, and What He says to Do.” By “tie the thoughts down to an anchor,” I mean, “take them captive.”

DEMA is a way of taking them captive, on a meta level. It’s the idea that you can isolate the part of your brain where it’s easiest for them to have free rein, and then it’d not go there.

But in the story, DEMA is characterized by grayness, stone, pointless routines, and the feeling of being trapped. When you’re in that place I mentioned above, mentally, where you’ve focused on yourself for so long that you don’t know what else there is and you feel totally numb, that’s what it feels like.

But there’s two other elements of DEMA that line up with what I was saying up above, about self-focus.

3. Who Are the Bishops and What is Vialism?

The Bishops are Dark Thoughts, and Vialism is the lie they draw the most power from spreading. If DEMA is just a place (the bad headspace) the Bishops are what live in that place, and Vialism is the big lie that keeps you there.

There are 9 Bishops (or 8, after it’s revealed that Keons isn’t really on their side.) The leader is Nicolas Bourbaki, but he doesn’t like it when you use his real name, he’d rather be called Blurryface. Actually, he’d prefer you not notice his name at all, but that’s another topic. Each of these Dark Thoughts controls a different segment of the Bad Headspace.

They hide their faces behind blurry gauze, and divide what little you can see of that with white and black paint. I think this is because Blurryface is named after the Bourbaki group, who were mathematicians trying to prove something about God through their systems—and that’s a very black-and-white, exacting thing to try and do. But at the same time, while they’re so coldly examining God, the Dark Thoughts don’t want anybody to be able to see anything clearly about Dark Thoughts. Anyway.

The Bishops don’t want anyone leaving the dark headspace. And Vialism is a “religion” where you believe that the only way to “paradise” is by killing yourself. Once the citizens of DEMA kill themselves, the Dark Thoughts convince everyone else that this was an amazing thing to do, call the dead people “Glorious Gone,” and celebrate it. All the while, they use antlers to control the dead bodies as part of that plan.

I think the concept is so cool that we miss how wonderfully simple it is. It’s just this:

The dark thoughts make you believe that you can have no impact unless you’re dead. They don’t care if they’re magnifying your flaws and telling you to accept them, or if they’re magnifying your flaws and telling you you’ll never be worth anything because of them. As long as it leads to the same conclusion: “So you won’t make an impact. Unless you die.” And they go, “see, look how impactful it was when these other people killed themselves. What a stir they made. What a memory they left behind. That could be you; nothing else you do is getting you that.” That’s what puppeting dead bodies and calling it “glorious” is for. That’s the lie that the whole system, the routines, the atmosphere of the dark headspace, is reinforcing.

That’s the Bishops, and Vialism. Of course because they’re getting so climactic about it, we should look carefully at two:

3.b Who is Keons?

I don’t know for sure. He is either representative of music-as-a-temporary-diversion, because he is a Dark Thought that manages to be helpful (like putting lyrics about your insecurities into fleeting songs) or, my most recent understanding, is that he is part of a representation of God. Or, if you prefer, “Someone Outside of You Who Wants to Break Into the Dark Headspace You’re Comfortable In and Get You Out.”

The main point is, he is characterized as warm, steadfast, personal, in cahoots with creativity, and sacrifices himself for Clancy’s escape. Tells us two things. First, that he’s different from all the other Bishops, who are abrupt, cruel, and distant. Second, that he dies. (Unless he comes back somehow before the Lore is over, which would just reinforce my idea that he’s part of the representation of God.)

3.c Who is Nico?

Nico is Self-Focus personified. He was initially “Blurryface = Insecurity.” But remember, we talked about how “insecurity” is just a gateway word leading to “self-focus,” ultimately. Just like how the character “Blurryface” was the surface-read of Nico, and Nico is “his real name.”

Wrap the name of a scientist who thinks everything through analytically (not just himself, but God) around the name that literally means “I don’t want you to see me clearly/see my flaws,” and you get “Self Focus.”

Of course everyone wants to say, “Nico is Clancy, too.” Because “Blurryface is part of Tyler.

Yeah. Self-Focus is still you. It’s you focusing on you.

So yeah, you can say Nico/Blurryface is Clancy/Tyler, that somehow Clancy was the thing he was trying to escape and fight all along, etc. Sure. Say that. It goes with my take, actually. Whether Clancy is his own thing and has been imprisoned several times by Nico, or whether Clancy is a vessel for Nico and he doesn’t even know it, the “Nico is Self-Focus” still exists.

And how can Clancy defeat Nico? When he’s never been able to before? When he might even, possibly, be Nico?

Well, the short answer is, Clancy can’t. Just like you can’t stop focusing on yourself by intensely thinking about how to be less self-focused 😅 because that’s still self focus.

Let’s talk about who can defeat Self-Focus.

4. Who is the Torchbearer?

I personally believe Torchbearer is representative of God. He doesn’t pull Clancy out of DEMA and then carry him off to a happy meadow. He rescues Clancy, and then he sends him back to get more people out of the dark headspace. Just like God doesn’t save you and then beam you immediately into eternity and out of this present world. Just like, in March to the Sea, “then You put me back in my place / so I might start another day.”

Also:

The whole plan is Torchbearer’s.

Even in captivity, he’s with Clancy, inexplicably, and the Bishops can’t get rid of him.

He’s carrying fire, which is kind of “a baby sun” and the sun has always been representative of God in twenty one pilots stuff. Also, fire is real, natural light, as opposed to the neon glow that the Bishops wave around.

He’s the leader.

He’s doing all of the rescuing.

Tyler said he has the ability to guide—which is literally the whole point of creating the world of Trench, to navigate your headspace’s, so why wouldn’t the Clancy character be the one guiding—because you can’t guide yourself, you need someone who knows your head better than YOU DO.

Tyler said there are three of him. Like the Trinity.

Now. Torchbearer could just be representative of someone who knows Tyler’s brain really well and can remind him of truth. A good friend. His best friend. But you know what? That doesn’t account for all the above imagery.

5. How will it End?

Clancy has gone from trying to figure out what’s going on to feeling like he knows what’s going on—he’s taking on a leadership role, and he wants to kill Nico and destroy the dark headspace. But this whole thing is about a cycle “Clancy can’t escape.” And there are theories that he’s inextricably linked to Nico. And focusing on your self-focus can’t defeat your self-focus.

Besides, the whole Blurryface album was a cycle of “I’m messed up and I know it —> But if anyone else knows I’m messed up they’ll reject me —> Someone needs to remind me that I’m unconditionally loved.” Tear in my Heart is about his wife (from the outside) beating his insecurity up and taking what’s inside his heart (good and bad) and violently pulling it to the outside.

The Judge is about needing someone who knows him and has more power than him to pull him out of the cycle. Same thing with Not Today. Same thing with Goner.

Clancy cannot save himself. Clancy can only “save” himself by accepting that someone else needs to save him. Only in that sense. Meanwhile, someone else has to save him. Because someone else is what the cycle was missing. Insecurity balks at vulnerability.

So what I think will happen is, Clancy will think he can defeat Nico himself. In fact, that was part of Torchbearer’s plan. Clancy will climb the tower by himself, thinking it's his job to kill Nico. It won't work. They'll either mutually destroy each other, or Clancy will try to destroy Nico only to find that he can't do it, or Clancy will get straight-up defeated by Nico. Could be because Nico can seize him. Could be because Nico and Clancy are linked and Clancy can't figure out how to kill him when that's happening. Could be because Nico is just stronger than him. Either way, he never should have tried to do it himself.

But actually, all Clancy can do is die. Or get defeated. And when Clancy's down, the Torchbearer can save the day.

Because the only solution to self-focus is dying to yourself. Realizing you can't do it, you're in no way the solution. Then resurrecting to live for something that is NOT YOU. No longer considering yourself. So insecurity is dead. Because the self you used to focus so hard on is being totally taken care of by God, so you don't have to focus on it anymore. That’s God’s plan. That’s a Christian principle, that’s the Gospel. And they’re Christians.

And so help me, they said they’d conclude the story this time. He promised this was his battle! They're going to say what they believe, this time!

[void-of-unparalled-chaos]

Okay so time for me to dump my thoughts on the Underworld Saga because I am going insane and tbh I'm not sure how coherent this will be because my brain is mostly keyboard smashing.

The Shades: "When does a man become a monster? 558 men who died under your command. CAPTAIN! CAPTAIN! CAPTAIN! CAPTAIN! Why would you let the cyclops live when ruthlessness is mercy?"

Okay so the harmonies of the Shades are amazing! But also this whole bit is just so... haunting. The call back to Just a Man and Ruthlessness does something to me. Could you imagine being screamed at by the ghosts of everyone you've failed? Also Jay confirmed that the shades in this song are just repeating their final thoughts in life. They drowned begging for their Captain to help them and died wondering why he failed them. This probably fucked Odysseus UP.

Odysseus: "I keep thinking of the infant from that night. I keep thinking of the infant from that night."

I swear I can hear the PTSD in his voice holy shit. Also Astyanax's music box motif being played in church bells in the back. I never would have noticed it if not for Jay's behind the scenes videos but knowing it's there makes this bit so much better.

Odysseus: "Polities..."

I was not nearly as wrecked at this bit until I saw this post mentioning that Odysseus quiet little "Polities..." is a mirror of Polities strangled "Captain..." when he died and now I will never be the same.

Odysseus' Mom

I am not exaggerating when I say I cried during the watch party. Everything about this is heartbreaking. His mom was thinking about him in her final moments. "Odyssues when you come home I'll be waiting" except she wont be. The shocked defeat in Odysseus' voice with "I took too long...". He's right there in front of her, but her shade just doesn't register him. They are so close physically yet still separated by death. Also the fact that Jay's mom voices her that is so sweet omg.

The change from "Here in the Underworld the past seems close behind" to "But in the Underworld your past is always close behind."

STTAGKDUKFUTAATUFOUCOUXGJXG

THE STRINGS!!!!! AND THE PIANO!!!!

Tiresias' voice is so haunting omg

Mason absolutely NAILED prophet who is constantly being shown everything all the time at one I love it sm.

The lyrics in this song are just.... so good. And the foreshadowing is top notch

Jay's voice acting for Odysseus' is also great in this.

The distress and frustration in "We've suffered and sailed through the toughest of hells. Now you tell us ur efforts are for NOTHING?!" and the absolute anger in "WHO!?!?!" (Its you, Ody. See your about to go through a complete change in morals about 5 minutes from now and become a completely different person).

THE DESCENDING ORGAN FOR THE SECOND CHORUS MY JAW DROPPED

Jorge don't think I didn't notice the Hunchback of Notre Dame, Hellfire, vibes at the end I see you.

This is my favorite song released in Epic so far and I am not normal about it at all.

The GUITAR! THE ELECTRIC GUITAR!

For those unfamiliar and being dragged along this nonsense post, Odysseues character is associated with the guitar. The acoustic guitar is when he is softer, kinder, and more "human" while the electric guitar represents him at his most brutal, ruthless, and "monsterous". This song is his turning point to which he is done being merciful. He will do ANYHTING to get home.

"Oh Ruthlessness is mercy upon ourselves..."

Really taking Poseidon's lesson to heart there.

Odysseus: "AND IF I GOTTA DROP ANOTHER INFANT FROM A WALL IN AN INSTANT SO WE ALL DON'T DIE? THEN I'LL BECOME THE MONSTER! I WILL DEAL THE BLOW!... SO WHAT IF I'M THE MONSTER?"

Ayrsgstusigxjgsutaut holy shit holy shit holy shit-

Play this back to back with Just A Man for some psychic damage. What an end for Act 1!

[therainscene]

Ever notice how frequently Will is associated with rods?

They show up in multiple places: Will wields a rod-like weapon in every season; he’s compared to Phineas Gage, the man with the iron rod driven through his brain; Castle Byers is made up of them, as seen above; and there’s even a couple of uncomfortably phallic references here and there.

This motif works remarkably well as a framework for understanding his character arc:

At the start of S1, Will has begun to realize that he really is as gay as his abusive father always accused him of being. He’s horrified. His homosexuality manifests as a monster from the game he plays with the boy he has a crush on.

He grabs a gun, a symbol of his father’s expectations of manliness...

...but he can’t bring himself to use it. That’s just not who he is.

He lets the monster drag him into the closet, and it’s terrifying in there. His upbringing in a homophobic 80s environment has robbed him of the opportunity to understand his sexuality in an age-appropriate way; all he knows about it is perversion and disease.

He’s haunted by disturbingly sexual thoughts he’s not old enough to handle yet.

At the end of S1, he metaphorically comes out to his mother when she rescues him from the Upside Down and reassures him that he’s still loved. Will feels a bit better... but he’s not out of the Demogorgon-infested woods just yet.

In S2, he still feels the urge to fight his developing sexuality. His mother’s support has made it easier to forget about his father, though, so the urge isn’t as strong as it used to be.

His gun is now a nerdy toy, more reflective of Mike than of Lonnie.

Unfortunately, his father isn’t the only homophobe in town, and word of his metaphorical coming out has gotten around -- the bullying is worse, and even his loved ones don’t look at him the same way anymore. He feels like a freak; he identifies with Phineas Gage when he learns about him in Mr. Clarke’s class.

His homosexuality comes for him again in the shape of yet another monster from D&D. This one can’t drag him fully back into the closet -- that ship has sailed -- so instead, it torments him. You’re a mistake, it whispers in his ear. Why not be angry about it?

Like Phineas Gage, he’s not acting like himself anymore.

Joyce does her damnedest to help, but her efforts aren’t as effective as they were in S1. She just doesn’t understand what he’s going through. This time, it’s Mike -- the boy who refuses to treat him differently or leave his side -- who succeeds in reassuring him that he’s not a mistake.

Will falls even more in love with Mike in the wake of such a sweet gesture. He knows that Mike will never truly love him back in the way he wants, but... maybe Mike really does want to be his D&D-playing bestie forever. That’s good enough for him. It’s the best a bundle of sticks could realistically expect to get, anyway.

His gun has become a D&D wizard staff, now fully symbolic of his feelings for Mike.

Unfortunately, Michael “I’m not gay ur gay” Wheeler is too busy having his own character arc to notice how important D&D is to Will. They argue over it, and without meaning to, he pins Will to the wall like a butterfly: “it’s not my fault you don’t like girls!”

Will feels seen. He feels rejected. He feels stupid. Of course Mike doesn’t want to be a kid with him forever. It’s too much; all of his pent-up trauma and internalized homophobia and grief for his lost innocence comes spilling out at once.

His gay wizard staff morphs into another symbol of Lonnie’s expectations and he uses it to destroy the last vestiges of his childhood.

The wooden rods that were once Castle Byers lay strewn about. One slices clean through his face as he sobs:

His father’s in his head again. He’s not acting like himself.

At the end of S3, Will moves to Lenora, far away from his homophobic hometown and his memories of Lonnie. He gains some perspective. He grows more confident in his identity.

He decides to be honest with Mike about how he feels.

For the first time, he’s not wielding a weapon. He's finally stopped trying to fight his sexuality.

How could it be a bad thing to love a boy as sweet and stubborn and loyal and stupid and brilliant as Mike Wheeler? The painting is the purest possible expression of his love for Mike.

However, this is only the penultimate season -- Will hasn’t self-actualized just yet! He chickens out of a true confession, sacrificing his own feelings in favour of helping Mike repair his romance with El. He still believes that the best he can hope for is a close platonic friendship...

...but he can’t lie to himself about that being enough for him anymore.

At the end of S4, he returns to Hawkins, and we get another shot of Phineas Gage imagery as the Cali crew arrives in town:

Memories of homophobia are flooding back in the form of a D&D villain’s voice.

The shame instilled in him by this town still affects him. But he’s also matured enough to understand now who it really was that he should have been fighting this whole time.

Will’s ready for one final battle. But what about his relationship with Mike in S5? Does the rod motif give us any clues there?

All I’ll say is, it’s interesting how both boys were sweeping at the start of this scene... but only Mike carried his broom over to the sofa.

[averagewriter-inthedark]

Love Across the Galaxy 🌌 | Helmut Zemo Imagine

Contains spoilers for GOTG Vol.3

Link to my Marvel masterlist

Characters & Pairings: Baron Helmut Zemo x Roman Goddess/Guardians!reader (romantic), The Thunderbolts—Baron Zemo, Bucky Barnes, Thaddeus Ross, Valentina Alegra De Fontaine, John Walker, Ghost, Justin Hammer, Taskmaster, Yelena, & Red Hulk (platonic), The Guardians of the Galaxy—Quill, Mantis, Nebula, Drax, Rocket, Groot, Kraglin, & Cosmo (platonic)

Content Warnings: profanity, light angst, fluff, mentions of death, fighting & violence, spoilers for GOTG Vol.3 (don’t read if you haven’t seen it!) | female!reader (she/her) | wc: 4.9k

Requested 📨 yes/no (rules for requests)

Premise: In which Baron Helmut Zemo, hater of the Avengers and desire to rid the planet of enhanced beings, becomes a member of the antihero team led by General Thaddeus Ross & CIA Director Valentina Fontaine where he meets the legendary group of misfits turned Guardians of the freakin Galaxy and loses his heart to a Goddess with a love for 80s music and talent for cutting of limbs.

Note: GOTG Vol 3 has permanently altered my brain chemistry and I cannot stop thinking about it. Truly the best film since Endgame & it’s inspired me cause I’m also back to loving Zemo again. I refuse to believe Marvel would give us a Thunderbolts film w/o Zemo so I will make sure he’s in this team.

After learning about all the Gods in Thor: Love & Thunder, picture you are Minerva, the Roman Goddess of Wisdom & War (Roman equivalent to the Greek’s Athena) and has cosmic powers similar to the Eternal’s Thena and has been with the Guardians since the events of the first GOTG film.

————————

Fall 2023

“I don’t see why we need these people to help us,” Zemo rolled his eyes, strolling beside General Ross with the rest of the team around them. Once outside the cool breeze hit him, ruffling the lapels of his coat as his eyes squinted from the bright light.

Ross lets out a tired sigh, “Because, Zemo, as much as it galls me to admit it this threat is far beyond what we can deal with. It’s not terrestrial and chances are these…” he had trouble coming up with the word, “let’s just say they’re more experienced for this situation.”

They all stop before the flight line. It’s clear all around them with no sign of an approaching vessel.

“Who are these guys again?” Justin Hammer popped some jelly beans in his mouth. John looks down at the file in his hands, making a face as he does.

“They call themselves…The Guardians of the Galaxy.”

“Oh God,” Bucky moans, immediately making mental notes to protect his mental arm knowing a certain talking animal was on the hunt for it. He was gonna have to sleep with one eye open.

Zemo raises his brow, “Friends of yours, James?” Bucky is not pleased by the assumption.

“I wouldn’t call them that.”

“Aren’t they part of the Avengers?” Ava’s tone is slightly disapproving. While Scott Lang and the Pym/Van Dyne’s helped her, she still got bad rep despite doing what she did to survive.

Zemo, not happy with the idea of working with Avengers, snatches the file from Walker.

“Not technically,” Ross replies while Zemo reads over the page. “They arrived with Thor in 2018 against the first battle with Thanos, remained an associate to the team while continuing whatever the hell it is they do in space, and returned in 2023 to defeat the purple bastard once and for all.”

“Did you fight with them, Bucky?” Yelena asks from beside the soldier.

“Yeah,” the memory appears in his mind. Specifically where he grabbed Rocket by the scruff and spun them in circles to cover more area as they fired off their guns. “Our interactions were brief…but memorable.”

The Baron had seen many things over the years, like the rest of humanity with the formation of the Avengers and reveal of intergalactic and enhanced beings, but to stay he wasn’t thinking, ‘what the fuck?’ by the picture in front of him would be a lie.

An earthling turned ravager, a blue mercenary, a woman with antennas, a genetically engineered raccoon, a living tree, a gray alien that could take down Thor, a man with a metal Mohawk, a telekinetic dog, and an exiled sword wielding Goddess. All misfits and outcasts, mostly space criminals turned superhero guardians of the cosmos.

Well….they were quite the bunch.

“They are not still with the Avengers, I take it?” Zemo wanders around, eyes lingering on the Goddess. White streaks adorned her natural hair color, eyes gold and lips painted with what appeared to be a permanent smirk. She wore a gold and white headpiece that had an owl extending its wings.

Name/Alias: Minerva, Goddess of War; Race: Deity; Planet of Origin: Caelum; Age: approx. 2500 yrs (39 Earth yrs); Occupation: Warrior/Mercenary/Defender of the Andromeda Galaxy; Allegiance: The High Council of Caelum (formerly), Guardians of the Galaxy, Thor, God of Thunder, The Avengers (formerly); Abilities: Cosmic manipulation, enhanced strength, agility, speed, & durability, thermal detection & mental teleportation; Specialization: artillery and battle strategy.

Ross let out a sigh, “only when the planet is about to go to shit due to an intergalactic threat. Which we’ve now got on our hands, but considering the Avengers are all on sabbatical I’m sending you in,” he checks his watch, “but I need all the extra hands and like I said, they’re experienced.”

Zemo stares at the blank sky, “How will we know they've arrived?”

“Believe me,” Ross mutters under his breath. “You’ll know.”

A loud rumbling noise caught everyone’s attention, gazes turning upward as a hexagon shaped breech in the sky revealed a very large spaceship in its wake, followed by the distinct lyrics of AC/DC’s ‘Back to Black.’

“Back in black. I hit the sack. I’ve been too long, I’m glad to be back. Yes, I’m let loose. From the noose. That’s kept me hanging about.”

“Oh my,” Yelena breathed out, hair flying back from the gust of wind. Zemo lifted a hand to cover his face from the leaves, as did the others, many wide eyed.

“I’ve been looking at the sky. ‘Cause it’s gettin’ me high. Forget the hearse ‘cause I never die. I got nine lives. Cat’s eyes. Abusin’ every one of them running wild.”

“Great song,” Justin voiced, grinning from ear to ear. The ship made its descent, music getting louder.

“‘Cause I’m back. Yes, I’m back. Well, I’m back,” it approached the tarmac, “Yes, I’m back. Well, I’m back, back.” wheels hit the tarmac, engine powering down but music still blasting, “Well, I’m back in black,” the ship doors opened, revealing steps extending to the ground, “Yes, I’m back in black.”

It was almost like a scene from a movie. Slow-motion if one will by how the Guardians exited their ship and stepped foot on the tarmac with AC/DC on full volume. All dressed in their new suits of red and blue leather with the Ravager flames on the chest.

Arriving in style.

Quill led with the rest flanking his sides. Drax munching on snacks while Nebula looked menacing and Groot towered over everyone. Cosmo had her tongue out in excitement, Rocket carrying his gun strapped to his back. Mantis’s chin held high, like she was on top of the world and Kraglin trying not to appear lost. Lastly Minerva was drinking a caprisun, Ray Bans covering her gold eyes.

Zemo tilts his head in amusement at the sight. He expected the Goddess, of war nonetheless, to have a more menacing approach like Nebula considering her reputation. But she was just as relaxed and laid back as Drax.

The Guardians walked several paces until they were directly in front of the Thunderbolts. It was then the music stopped, Ross being the first to address them. “You sure know how to make an entrance.”

Quill gave a smug grin, “We know.” Hands go to his hips, “You’re wearing a suit so you must be the boss man. Although I believe there’s also a boss lady we’re here to do business with.”

“Director Fontaine is currently occupied. She’ll be arriving in the morning.”

“I assume we won’t be knowing a damn thing until that happens, huh?”

Ross tightens his lips, “You assume correctly.”

“I told you we should’ve handled it on our own,” Minerva’s glances to Quill annoyed. Surprised by her voice, Zemo's eyebrows raised at her sudden input. Her accent was slightly Italian given her mythological origin is Roman.

Quill clicked his tongue, “We don’t have authority here, Minnie.”

“Midgard is part of the Andromeda Galaxy. Technically we should.”

Now the man was giving her a pointed look after Ross’s body language turned defensive, “I’d rather not get our asses thrown in Earth’s prison system. We go by the rules—the ones we established.”

Minerva grumbles under her breath, finishing the last remnants of her juice pouch, “Would’ve finished the job faster. They wouldn’t even know we were here.”

“Okay well, we’re doing things this way. We’re here as a team to work with a team. Right, Mr. Secretary?”

Ross’ disapproving eyes linger on Minerva, who in return rolls her own, before turning his attention back to Quill, “Yes. Now let’s move on shall we?”

He lets out a breath of relief, “Agreed.” Bidding a warning look to each of his teammates, they all wait for what the man in the suit has to say. Ross extends a hand to the people on either side of him.

“This is my team. All with different levels of skill and experience. Justin Hammer is our tech and weapons specialist,” Justin gives a wave, “Yelena Belova,” Ross points to the blonde in a white tactical suit, “former Black Widow and master assassin.” At the mention of Black Widow Rocket, Nebula, and Minerva all tense, faces becoming solemn at the memory of Natasha. They were the three remaining Guardians during the blip, becoming close with the Avenger.

“Ava Starr, she can phase through anything,” they all look impressed, finding the talent cool. “Antonia Dreykov, who we like to call Taskmaster.”

“Why’s that?” Kraglin asked intrigued.

“She has photographic reflexes and can mimic your fighting powers. Basically use your own moves against you.”

“Niceeee,” all the Guardians echo. Ross points to the two individuals in between Zemo and Yelena.

“Our super soldiers, Captain John Walker and I believe you all know Sergeant Barnes.” Bucky tightens his mouth with a curt nod.

“You still got that arm on ya?” Rocket muses, earning a nudge—well more like a kick—from Minerva. The rest of the Thunderbolts besides Bucky all become wide-eyed at the talking Raccoon…even though it said on the file he could.

But how the fuck else were they suppose to react to a talking raccoon?

All Bucky does is glare, “Don’t even think about it.” Rocket shrugs, “Worth a shot.”

“Why is that one carrying a giant frisbee?” Drax’s mouth is filled with Zargnuts. Walker, the man in question, becomes visibly offended.

“It’s a shield not a frisbee.” Zemo bites back a smirk at the soldier's tone. Not to mention the Guardians' reactions were priceless.

“A shield?” Mantis repeats confused.

“It’s a frisbee,” Drax mumbles.

“Like that circular object Minerva conjures to deflect attacks,” Nebula tiredly explains. Mantis’s mouth forms the shape of an ‘o’.

“And lastly,” Ross sounds just as exhausted as the cyborg, “Baron Helmut Zemo, former intelligence operative.”

“I am Groot,” Zemo’s attention goes to the tree alien, confused by his words. Minerva, seeing his expression, addresses it, “He says he likes your fancy cape.”

‘Cape?’ He thinks, but doesn’t comment on it and his perplexed reaction makes Minerva smirk. Instead Zemo says, “Well, I appreciate the compliment. Thank you.” Groot’s pleased, grinning wide like a child.

It’s then Quill’s turn to formally introduce the Guardians. The Thunderbolts bite back their own amusement at the nicknames and surprise of hearing the dog, Cosmo, speak through her suit with a distinct Russian accent. Afterwards Ross leads them all into the hangar, Minerva removing her sunglasses now that she was inside, allowing her gold eyes to be visible.

From there they all interact, awkwardly for the most part as they have no idea what the hell to do as they wait for further instruction. It soon becomes bickering and even challenging someone in hand-to-hand combat.

Well, what can you expect when a team of heroes meet a team of villains/anti heroes? Rivalry at its finest.

“Any day now, Quill,” Minerva groans, relaxing her stance. Across from her several feet away was Walker, confused by why she was taking so long to attack. They were standing in the middle of the squared off area with the teams surrounding them, but giving enough space to avoid being in the crossfire. Quill was scrolling through his Walkmen.

“What’s he doing?” Zemo whispers to Kraglin, eyes flicking back and forth from the human Guardian and the Goddess.

“Trying to find a good fight song. You know, get the vibes going.” Out on the square Minerva lets out a loud huff signaling her annoyance was increasing.

“Just give me another second—.”

“Quill.”

“I almost got it.”

“Pick a goddamn song!”

“Fine!” Quill shouts, randomly selecting the first one his finger hits. A second later Duran Duran’s ‘Hungry Like the Wolf,’ blasts through all the speakers attached to the Guardians arms. The antiheroes become perplexed, while also noting the song choice. Justin and Yelena started to bop their heads.

“Darken the city, night is a wire. Steam in the subway, earth is afire. (Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do)”

Minerva smirked, retaking her stance. As she lifts her hands, cosmic energy around her consorts to physical matter, taking the shape of a spear and shield in either hand. Wide eyes take over the Thunderbolts.

“Woman, you want me, give me a sign. And catch my breathing even closer behind. (Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do)”

“Wow,” Justin exhales. “In touch with the ground. I’m on the hunt, I’m after you.”

“That’s so cool,” Yelena muses, others muttering in agreement. “Smell like the sound, I'm lost in the crowd. And I’m hungry like the wolf.” Keeping his admirations to himself, Zemo watches the scene unfold in silence.

“First one to step or get thrown out of the square loses,” Bucky shouts over the music, “Ready….” Walker clutches the strap of his shield, Minerva twirling her spear once, “Fight!”

“Stalked in the forest, too close to hide,” Walker lets out a cry, charging at the Goddess. “I’ll be upon you by the moonlight side (Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do,” Minerva blocks his attack, pushing back slightly only to crouch to swipe at his legs, “High blood drumming on your skin, it’s so tight,” Walker dodges her spear, but fails to avoid her kick to his chest, sending him backward. “You feel my heat, I’m just a moment behind.” He brings his shield up in time as her spear barrels down at him. “Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do.”

They continue their one-on-one for several minutes, both coming close to getting the other out of the square and the song changing to ‘Cherry Bomb’ by The Runaways—a favorite amongst the Guardians. The entire time Zemo was mesmerized to say the least. Every move she made was effortless, showcasing strengths and ability to predict Walker's moves.

He hadn’t felt such attraction to a woman in so long. And here he was experiencing a feeling that was almost unfamiliar.

Ultimately Minerva wins the battle in what one would call a divine move. At the peak of the song, Minerva’s golden eyes glow bright resulting in the eyes of the owl headpiece to also glow and become animated. It takes form, coming to life and soars straight at Walker, throwing him off by covering his face.

“What the—uuugh!!” He’s flying through the air, back meeting the harsh ground with an audible groan. The owl leaves him, returning to Minerva and consorting back into a headpiece. When it does her eyes dim back to their normal hue. Her team broke out into whistles and hollars, meanwhile Walker’s were unimpressed.

“Guardians for the win!” Rocket cheered.

“I am Groot!”

“Never underestimate the power of Duran Duran!”

Minerva helps Walker up, “Not bad, soldier.” As she turns to head off the pad, her eyes lock with Zemo’s and a wink is sent his way. Heat rises in the Baron, glancing away to hide his smirk.

Oh boy, trouble was on the horizon.

Next Yelena went against Nebula. Their fight was even more intense and nearly ended in a draw. Eventually Yelena overpowered the cyborg and got her to step out of the square. It was a tie. Groot and Rocket teamed up against Ross in the form of the Red Hulk—which took a lot of convincing—the two claiming the win after fooling the General. Taskmaster beat out Quill, handing his ass to him which had the Guardians in a heap of laughter.

“I enjoyed that more than I should have,” Minerva teases, crossing her arms as she takes a spot beside Zemo. He glances at her, mirroring her expression.

“Not a common occurrence for your friend to lose a fight?”

She scoffs, “You’d be surprised by his record.”

Lastly Bucky went toe-to-toe with Drax, and of course Rocket had to yell, “Take his arm and give it to me!” And well….it ended with them tackling each other out of the square.They didn’t know who won at that point, so the teams were tied 2-2 initiating a debate on who should be crowned the best.

“Okay, let’s call it a day,” Ross announces, ending the squabbling between the groups. “Night’s upon us and frankly I could use a drink. We’ll return here first thing in the morning—7am sharp to discuss the threat and where to go,” he turns to Quill, “we’ve got sleeping quarters arranged for you all if you please. Otherwise my guess is you’ll remain in your ship?”

About an hour later, after both teams settled for the night, Zemo decided to take a walk around the flight line. It became a habit of his since joining the Thunderbolts. A way to clear his mind after a long day of briefings and training. He basked in the peace that came with being alone, but there were times he felt lonely and longing for company to share the peace with.

Ten years since losing his family and the pain never strayed. Yet, he managed to live with it. He accomplished his goal in 2016 when he tore apart the Avengers. Likely is to blame for the loss against Thanos resulting in half of the universe’s population turning into dust for five years.

Did he feel remorse for the consequences of his actions? Possibly. Did he regret it? No. At this rate he’s accepted the reputation he painted himself to be.

“Zemo, correct?” The sudden intrusion spooked the Baron, jumping slightly by the glowing eyes in the darkness. A moment later Minerva stepped into the lighting, eyes dimming to normal. She was still in her suit, though her hair was pulled back, white streaks seeping through the natural color.

“Yes, but you may call me Helmut,” he replied, nodding in greeting to the Goddess.

“Helmut,” she tests the name, “like the headwear people use when they ride bikes or spacesuits?”

“That’s one way to look at it, but yes I suppose so.”

“Interesting. What brings you out this late in the evening?”

He shrugs, “wanted to get away from the constant complaining of my comrades,” eyes go to the sky, “and I like to admire the stars.” Minerva moves to his right, glancing up as well.

“They’re much more incredible up close.” He peers down at her, not bothering to question her judgment. She lives in space after all.

“I bet so. I’m sure the view from here is nothing compared to what you’ve witnessed.”

She shrugs, “These stars you don’t even know if they’re still alive. It took years—possibly millions—for the light to reach Earth.” Zemo looks back up, focusing on the North Star.

“For all we know they burnt out ages ago.”

Their eyes connect, Zemo feeling a weight on his chest by the intensity of her gaze. It’s followed by unease when she says, “Natasha told me about you.”

Instantly he looks away, feeling an unfamiliar wave of dread. “Ah.” Here was a discussion he was not expecting, nor willing, to have.

But Minerva didn’t show criticism. In fact, her gaze and tone resembled understanding. “How do you do it?” The question took him aback.

“Do what, exactly?”

“Align yourself with people who go against what you stand for?” Minerva’s tone wasn’t condescending at all, only curious. “Most of your team are enhanced individuals—two are super soldiers to be exact. You went to many lengths to disband the Avengers and put an end to superheroes,” there’s a slight tilt of her head, eyeing the Baron with intrigue, “but you join a group consisting of people who fall between the spectrum of hero and villain where most are the exact thing you wished to eradicate. Not to mention led by two people you wouldn’t say you share similar moral values with. Why join them?”

For the first time in his life, Zemo was at a loss for words. Not a single word uttered as he tried to comprehend what Minerva had just confronted him with. How could he explain? Hell, he didn’t even know the real truth other than wanting to stay out of his cell. A big price to pay in exchange for freedom.

Minerva spoke again before he could respond, “I once committed an act similar to you,” the surprise is evident on Zemo, “Vengeance against those who were responsible for the death of my loved ones. It’s why I was exiled,” a frown appears, her attention returning to the stars. “So I understand you, probably better than anyone here. Understand why you committed those acts to destroy the Avengers. I don’t fault you for what you did—if I did it would make me a hypocrite. You’re not the villain Ross and the Avengers made you out to be.”

“How so?” His voice is strained, “what have you lost?” He didn’t mean to come off as defensive, but the conversation was bringing up emotions Zemo didn’t want to face.

“As Goddess of War all I knew was bloodshed. How to prevent it and how to fight it. Battle strategy was my domain, and the High Council knew better than to question my judgment,” she releases an exhale, “but Mars, the God of War and my brother, was my ultimate rival. He hated how much our father doted on me and agreed with plans I coordinated. It made him feel inferior. He’d do anything to prove himself.” Her tone remains neutral despite the painful memory surfacing.

Zemo remained quiet, picturing the scene as Minerva relayed it. Though stoic the Baron could see the pain and sadness lurking behind her eyes. Managing it as best she could for the sake of her friends. Who knows how many years it’d been since she lost whoever it was close to her. But the hole would always remain.

“To put it short,” she started again, bidding a glance, “Our home was under attack and his rash decision to slow down the enemy led to the death of my family—my husband and children.” Sympathy arose in the Baron, understanding her anguish, “An intentional move on Mars’ part because he believed I wouldn’t be fit to remain on the High Council after stuffing such a loss, therefore he would take my place as Head Commander of our armies and my father’s second Command.”

“He wasn’t exiled?” The question left Zemo before he could stop it. Confused by how the God avoided persecution for his crime, Minvera was shunned. “Your family was targeted.”

Minerva’s smile was bitter, “because their deaths were a result of war, the High Council viewed it as collateral. They failed to see Mars’ responsibility, believing he didn’t intend to kill them. So, I took it upon myself to bring justice. Not only to Mars but also the High Council.” Her smile fell once more, “I made sure they would pay. And they did, but it was far from over after finishing the job. Those who survived didn’t hesitate to throw me out to the wolves once I was contained.”

Zemo nods his head, “where did you go afterward if you don’t mind me asking?”

“I was imprisoned on Xandar for some time,” well they certainly had some things in common, “Once I escaped I became what your people would call a bounty hunter. Where it led me to meeting those clowns I now call my family,” she pauses before adding, “and escaping prison for a second time. Only it was to save the Galaxy.”

The laugh that escapes Zemo surprises him, “I guess it all worked out then.” Once more they lock eyes, twinkling against the stars shining down above.

“I suppose it did.”

Three Years Later

Zemo raced out the door the moment he awoke to rumbling that shook the foundation of his home. After three years he’d recognize the sound in an instant, only this time it was without warning.

An action that rarely occurred.

Throwing on his coat and house slippers, the clock read 2:30 am, flooding the Baron with worry. ‘What is she doing here at this hour?”

Usually when Minerva drops in she gives Zemo a heads up. A day or two’s notice, but recently he couldn’t get a hold of her and passed it off as the Guardians on a job. With the unexpected visit, so late at night, Zemo instantly knew something was wrong.

Hurrying out to the front lawn right as her ship landed, Zemo jogged to where the stairs extended. When they did, the doors revealed his Goddess, still wearing her suit, standing before him. Zemo noted the exhaustion painting her demeanor. Dark circles beneath her eyes, which appeared dimmer than usual, and scars indicating recently healed wounds.

His arms are around her the moment she’s within distance, her own around his neck, “This is a surprise.”

“Sorry I didn’t call,” the exhaustion was evident in her voice. Barely above a whisper causing Zemo to tighten his hold.

“It’s alright, darling. I’m just glad to see you are okay,” his hand runs along her hair, “wanna tell me what happened?” He hears her sniff, increasing his dread, “Close call?”

“Too many,” her voice cracks and there’s a pause. “We almost lost Rocket. We saved him thankfully, but then we nearly lost Peter. And I almost—,” she stops short, not wanting to relive her near death experience. “This was…it was too much for all of us, Helmut.” A kiss is pressed to her head, offering comfort.

“Let’s get you inside, mein schatz.” Zemo leads Minerva into the home, sitting her in the living room while he goes to put a kettle on the stove. Filling two cups of cherry blossom tea, Minerva’s favorite, he joins her in the living room.

After taking her first sip of the brew, Minerva removes the headpiece from her hair and makes herself comfortable before giving Zemo a play-by-play of the past three days. He stays quiet, listening intently but visibly reacts with each awful detail Minvera relays to him. From the unexpected attack from Adam Warlock, to the disgusting abuse Rocket endured at the hands of the High Evolutionary, to Quill nearly imploading in space had it not been for Adam’s change of heart.

Zemo’s knuckles turned white when Minerva spoke of what happened to her. Anger consumed him and he wished he had been there to protect her. Seeing his distress Minerva placed her hand on his, gently squeezing, “I’m okay, Helmut. I’m here now and we all made it out. There were many close calls, but we’re all alive and that’s what matters.”

Taking her hand, Zemo brought it up to brush his lips against her fingers, softly kissing her knuckles. “I don’t know what I would've done if I lost you, Minnie. I—-,” he stops himself to exhale, squeezing his eyes shut, “I would’ve found a way to fly across the galaxy to avenge you.”

“I know you would,” she murmurs, removing her hand but positioning herself in his lap. Arms snake around his neck, pulling him so they were inches apart. “I’d expect nothing less. Also I’d be a hypocrite considering I would do the same for you.” A playful smirk formed, “I was already plotting when Ross let you get captured by those bastards last year. Had it ended any other way, Ross would cease to exist.”

Zemo snickered, “I see we haven’t really changed completely despite our friends believing the opposite. Neither of us hesitating to return to old ways if it comes down to such circumstances.”

She smirks, “No, I don’t suppose we haven’t.”

“What a pair we are,” leaning in, his lips meet hers in a soft caress. Warmth seeping through his veins. That effortless high he believed he’d never have again after the loss of his family.

But he found it with a Goddess in the stars. Where love swept across the galaxy.

When they pull away after a moment, Zemo keeps his forehead against hers. Gold meeting brown. “I’m not sure I can let you go now, liebling. At least not for a while.”

“You never have to anymore,” her words have him startled, the man pulling away slightly to get a better look at her.

“What are you saying?”

Minerva’s gaze turns soft, though there’s slight nervousness, “After everything we all realized something. We found the family we were searching for, but some of us needed to find ourselves. Peter’s here on Earth to find his grandfather. Mantis is off on her own adventure. Drax and Nebula are on Knowhere to help raise the children we saved from the High Evolutionary. Rocket and Groot are leading a new era of the Guardians. And me,” she stops, emitting a gaze full of love that takes Zemo’s breath away. “I’d like to be here. With you, Helmut. If you’ll have me.”

If his heart could explode from the happiness Zemo was feeling it would. Tears were threatening to prick his eyes, the Baron willing himself to remain composed. “Oh, Schatz,” he croaked, cupping the side of her jaw. “I should be the one asking you that. Of course I’ll have you. I love you more than every star in the galaxy.” With that he kisses her, putting all his love and passion it causes her own eyes to water.

“I love you too,” she kisses him again. They remain on the couch, falling asleep eventually curled up in each other’s embrace. Their last thoughts filled with joy as they awaited the new adventure on the horizon.

An adventure just between them. A reinstated Goddess and a fully pardoned Baron opening the next chapter of their lives. Together.

[shadowslocked]

Something that gets me about Q!Bad that keeps scratching at my brain is how he has been very active in wanting to kill ElQuackity

Like, it’s a very sharp contrast to their previous dynamic.Where Bad had talked before about not wanting to get on Quackity’s bad side because he didn’t want to make an enemy of him and have Quackity gunning for him vs. Bad looking at ElQuackity and deciding it’s worth the risk to make him an enemy so long as it prevents him from being in power

And like, Q!Bad himself is so very cautious about his actions and the consequences those can bring. He could explain his reasoning for hours, going over every point of why he did something or why he thinks something is the best/worst option. He’s not an impulsive type of character, he likes to have a plan and he likes to know any and all possible outcomes to that plan. He’s investigating the island with the Ordo and actively participates in their plans, acting from my perspective as more of a support role, but also he makes it clear that he doesn’t want to present himself as a solid enemy to the Feds because he recognizes their power and doesn’t want that kind of target on him.

As an example, when Q!Forever and Q!Bad are together it highlights very sharply for me how differently they approach the federation. Q!Forever, who is very vocal about his dislike and hatred, doesn’t play nice and does not like when people even mildly help them or are associated with them. Q!Bad meanwhile tries to play nice and present himself in a friendly manner so as not to raise too much attention, but also as an attempt to try to glean more pieces of information. Bad will usually worry about drawing the ire of the Federation while Forever is ready to square up in spite of what consequences come.

But ElQuackity?

ElQuackity is too much of a violent enigma. He claims to be the “real” Quackity despite having gaps in his memories, he tried to blow up the players and the eggs (as far as I know the other players heavily suspect but have no solid proof), his heavy pro-Fed stance, the way he’ll casually threaten the eggs, him going after Maximus and threatening him, stealing Bads gift for Maximus, his shifting campaign to anti-Fed. From Bads perspective there’s not a singular friendly or positive part about ElQ, nothing to make him sympathetic or to give him pause and consider what he’s saying.

Q!Bad recognizes ElQ as a legitimate threat.

He can’t play nice and bide his time with him like the Federation, he can’t expect some strange sense of fairness from him, he can’t trust that ElQ won’t bring harm to the players and eggs if he manages to become president. He can’t even trust him in a general sense. There’s no aspect of of ElQuackity that makes Bad hesitate about this decision, and in part thats because Bad feels more in control when up against another player than the Feds. Heck he already knew how this would go down after the Election Dinner and was willing to take those consequences even back then because he didn’t feel he could stand idly by and hope for the best.

There’s just something so fascinating about watching Q!Bad go from wanting to play safely and keep a target off his back to seeing him actively plot murder against an opponent he considers too dangerous to let live and willing to face the fall out of that decision without remorse.

[angevinyaoiz]

Haha thanks for appreciating my art! 

Yeah, it’s funny because I think Henry II/Young Henry is objectively some of the BEST lesser known Dadson dynamics out there that’s sadly underexplored—you have political bedsharing, “the son and the father are one,” Co-Crowning ceremonies (There should be more dadson AUs that steal the concept of associative kingship) bodies and souls bound together, guilt, shame, divorce, the Love and Fear of faetc etc… 

the only unfortunate thing Is that dadson is generally not something I get super excited about personally. >_< I can see the visions and recommend them but it’s not really what gets me going….I’ll leave that to the pros (tho I DID have some art concepts here and there in mind but who knows if I’ll ever get to it..)

Anyways, back to the main subject—for memory lane look at these, the very FIRST art I did of him I’m pretty sure! Alongside Frederick Barbarossa and Richard. You can tell I was just working directly off random ref images without knowing anything lool

Also this one! Early art. Where he’s extremely shota. I still think this is cute, but it doesn’t look like HIM to me.

I still like these pieces…I had fun with them. I miss putting him in the historically inaccurate green caftan

Philip’s design overall has been an interesting process! I think my initial designs for the Plantagenets have refined over time, but they more or less stayed the same from the beginning, while his was kind of an evolution. It’s a bit hard for me to look at my old Blondelippe art because it’s so different from how I think about and draw him now, lol.  I was initially influenced by a few things:

there were a couple of fanarts/drawings of a Philip that was blonde, so I ran with that .

I think I might have initially mixed up art with that of Philip IV Le Bel, who has had portrayals where he’s a Pretty Blond

In some medieval artworks especially in later centuries, there are portraits of him that look blonde but only because of the stylistic conventions.

Also, my initial fandommy delusion interpretation of his character (when i was mostly dabbling from the TLIW stuff only) was influenced by the certain BL and shoujo archetype that pops up that usually consist of blonde, french-coded characters with childhood sexual trauma who are also guarded and conniving and sometimes straight up evil. so I thought it would be fun to run with that, and also be an obvious visual signifier that I was working in more a Yaoi Delusion state than a Realistic Historical state.

I ended up kind of veering away from this as I started to do more research and realized I was a lot more interested in reading about historical details. I was less familiar with Philip, but I had fun reading and getting to know his character I think a lot more in a way that I liked. My art is influenced by my aesthetic fujo preferences, but I also like a sense of background knowledge and consistency in my brain. For me I wanted the Philip, both the historical philip and the rpf dolly i’ve reconstructed, to feel more specific to me. There are already plenty of conniving blondes out there (I didn’t want people to mistake it for an APH France…lol) so kind of designing him as brunette with the goofy, severe bangs (influenced by his statues, and by the 19th century portrait) was a fun design. It also worked a lot better for black and white comics, like in “In Exchange for Honor,” And as well serves as a nice visual contrast since I draw the brothers + Henry usually as all varying degrees of blonde/redhead… THAT’s for Yaoi aesthetic reasons lol

I’m actually not sure if there IS any info on his hair color in real life, and tbh I guess i’m not interested in that (also he balded so it becomes irrelevant). I think it’s fun because I can draw him very pretty for my delusions if I want but also has a kind of dorkiness to him that I think is extremely important to lean into. I also feel like, I wanted a design that could look distinct and cute, but also could look more Adult if I wanted to, I draw him a kid a lot but I wanted the vibes to translate into older designs as well.

A big part that stands out to me reading about the historical Philip is the contrast between how Serious and Sacral the Frankish kingship is how important Philip was as the god-given heir blah blah blah, but also with how WEIRD he was. Making serious and laudable logistical decisions and policies one moment, but also making baffling and confusing decisions in his personal life and relationships. He’s kind of a mess in a fun way, it leaves a lot for the imagination (and evil imagination) to wonder wtf was up with him. In a way, even though the TLIW richphil dubcon backstory is Completely Made Up, to me I feel it doesn’t feel completely out of place thematically, since to me there’s something inherently sus/erotic about the status of purity/sacralness and the transgression from childhood vulnerability that is necessary to emerge into true power…Anyway I could write more Yaoi Essays but this post is meant to be about aesthetics.

It is impossible to escape the influence of TLIW Timothy Dalton in attitude, even if not in aesthetic, since he is probably the only major portrayal of Philip in the anglosphere I can think of. I feel that influence definitely comes through unavoidably, although I also try to round him out a bit when I write him. TLIW!Philip (in both movies and all plays) is showing him behaving at a very specific point in time; he starts off being condescended to, then exits the film smug and unscathed. It’s a big contrast from even modern Philip portrayals like in Confessions de l’Histoire where he’s more of a whiner and Richard’s punching bag.  

In The Devil’s Crown, Christopher Gable in The Devil’s Crown is a bit more subtle, and follows a more subdued and calculating Philip who grows into his person over time. I like him a lot because he’s very stiff and formal compared to Henry and Richard’s expressive gesticulating, but he holds a lot of disdain and rage inside him.  I think his portrayal in TDC definitely has influenced me a lot, I love how he glowers at Richard during all their encounters. It’s both very serious but also kind of cute…Also I’m entranced by his ballet photos. In a way they kind of cycle all the way back to that ethereal kind of “getting bewitched in the woods” unnerving shoujo feeling that I was originally getting a whiff of originally.

FUNNY ENOUGH, I feel I even still get some influence from….Solomon’s Crown of all things.. I make fun of it of course for its uwufication but for all my haterisms natasha kind of cooked with leaning into the weirdly ageregressiony Pure Special Little Boy feeling that pops up fetishistically in that book (in denial of course), the only difference for me is that I feel like that fetishistic aspect can be used deliciously for Evil (“purity” can be weaponized, after all) character traits rather than making a character Boring as hell