#my brain power went into actually writing this and spacing it and now i have no more for editing this | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

doverstar · 8 months

Text

Okay, two whole people asked me to share my thoughts on River Song as a character and my thoughts on Doctor/River after I wrote a whole Clara Oswald essay, and it took me 4 days to write that I ship River with the Doctor and I love her, but there are so many problems. The biggest is named Steven Moffat. And because you asked, I will tell you why, turn up your screen brightness here we go-

*huge inhale* In a nutshell, River Song is ridiculous. Stop wait let me explain- *hands you the nutshell and pats your hand* Shh. River Song as a character first appeared in Silence in the Library, right? We were with the Doctor’s tenth incarnation and Donna Noble, statistically the most popular era in the show’s long history. And this episode was Moffat’s fourth-ever story for the show. Blink and the The Doctor Dances two-parter were all so good. He was on a roll. River comes in and she’s so much fun. And she knows the Doctor. Already. And the crowd goes oooooh collectively. She knows him intimately, it seems. And he has no clue who she is, so oooh again, she’s from his future! It is heavily implied that they'll be married—it’s just the first place anyone’s brain goes. And then she dies. And we loved her, end scene. Then Moffat took over the show and got the opportunity to explain himself, and he explained himself really poorly.

River went from being a very interesting flash-in-the-pan to being an overdecorated ideal. She is Moffat’s ideal woman. She’s crazy, she seems independent and powerful and unattainable, but she’s actually totally obsessed with the protagonist and consistently making innuendos at him. Her sun rises and sets on the Doctor. Why? Because that’s Moffat’s idea of an attractive woman. I kid you not. I think the problem with writing something that is pure self-indulgence is that you’re so excited about what you’re writing, you don’t stop and think, hey, is this working? You don’t measure the quality. You’re not thinking clearly, it’s just wish-fulfillment. River is everything Moffat thinks a woman should be. Mysterious, strong, insane, violent, but only because of the man she’s drooling over. Her whole story is an excuse to write a woman like the one I just described, because it’s hot to Moffat. (I know. Gross.) Here comes a Moffat rant. The man is insanely talented, and I am not silly enough to believe that all of his writing regarding women is fetish-fueled – I just don’t think that way typically when I’m watching something, but it’s really hard to miss with Moffat. Haven’t you noticed every one of his female characters is full of lust for the protagonist? That’s weird. It was weird when Amy kissed the Doctor against his will, engaged to Rory and not interested in “anything quite so permanent”. It was weird when Nanny Clara kissed him after having just met him, in the middle of a dangerous situation, and then not keeping her eyes front up the magic ladder. (It was weird that Oswin was dressed like that and lounging in all of those poses the first time we saw her, as a dead woman in a Dalek shell, go back and watch it. Laugh like I did. You’re [hallucinating that you’re] stranded on an alien planet in a ship that crashed—and that’s what you’re wearing to work? The last survivor?) It's weird that rando Tasha Lem divulges intense, universe-altering danger to the Doctor in a breathless voice with space wine as they creep closer together over a bed. Ew. What? Why is that even happening? And finally, it’s weird that a girl brought up to murder her parents’ much-older alien best friend, who she was brainwashed to believe is the universe’s biggest problem, should want to eat his face off. Especially when their timelines are out of order and she hasn’t gotten to know him for real at all yet.

Is the Doctor attractive? Yup. Was any of that necessary? Nope. Now we’ll transition for a bit into what I think is wrong with the ship, even though I do ship it. (More on the pros of it later.) The more we learned about her, the less River and the Doctor made sense. The only truly wonderful thing about their dynamic (my favorite part!) is that the Doctor and River act like they’re already married, even though they’re meeting out of order. They have that assurance in one another. They each know the other person will become someone they’re willing to marry someday—they each get a sneak peek of that future together. (River in Let’s Kill Hitler, the DoctorinSilence in the Library.) So when they do meet, even when she’s in Instant Kill Mode and he’s in You Scare Me mode, it’s with an expectation that, hold on, eventually I’m going to really really care about you. Everything they do with one another from that point forward is influenced by that expectation, which makes them comfortable around one another. So that’s sweet and I love it. The problem is—River isn’t the Doctor’s ideal woman. She might be Moffat’s, but on paper she should not work with the Doctor romantically. Moffat engineered this woman—who is supposed to eventually be the Doctor’s wife—to be violent, self-centered, insane, very sexual, and willing to shatter any laws of time (or morality) she sees fit. That’s the opposite of what the Doctor admires, chooses, and is attracted to from everything we’ve ever seen of him. (Does the Doctor like smart, capable women who are good in a crisis? Yes! Obviously! That’s not what I’m talking about.) But suddenly after meeting River, being told one day she’ll be his wife, (instead of organically learning why he would marry her and organically learning who she truly is and then growing to love her naturally), very quickly and without explanation he’s all “And unlike me, she really doesn’t mind shooting people. I shouldn’t like that, kinda do a bit!” What? Since when? Since Moffat. Because Moffat is behind the wheel and Moffat finds that hot. Sir, just because you told me to ship it doesn’t mean I’m convinced. Now, is it her fault that she’s a murder weapon? Is it River’s fault that she was brought up to believe it’s okay to choose violence, wear poison lipstick, and be the girlboss of murder? Absolutely not. Melody Pond was kidnapped, tortured, brainwashed, and used as a human/Time Lady weapon just because she was there. She had absolutely no choice in the matter. And when she did eventually, finally get to choose, she chose to rescue the Doctor and start over. She sacrificed every remaining regeneration she might have had to reverse her actions. That last part? That’s awesome. I love that. But that nice moment doesn't fix the rest. The story goes that River was stolen, raised to kill the Doctor, and then fell in love with him along the way—and the special sauce is, she’s meeting him out of order; every time she sees him he knows her less because she’s moving backward along his timeline. (Unnecessarily complicated, but very fun, Moffat! Can’t forget fun in Doctor Who.) The story goes, too, that the Doctor meets his wife from the future in the biggest universal Library one day, watches her die, and waits for her to appear again so he can start a love story he knows the ending to—and the special sauce is, he’s meeting her out of order; every time he sees her he’s getting to know her more and she knows him less, because she’s moving backward while he moves forward. That does make for an interesting love story. You’re excited to see it play out because you and the Doctor expect it to be a doozy based on River’s “not those times, don’t you dare, you watch us run” speech in Forest of the Dead. But the problem is, they were both told they’d marry one day and therefore they treat it as a foregone conclusion, so there’s no organic attempt at really, truly falling in love. They behave as though they didn’t fall anywhere, they were pushedinside and someone locked the door. (I just pictured Moffat outside with the key. “Now KISS!”)

The point is that nobody worked for this relationship. If you’re going to explain how they fell in love, because the audience already knows they apparently will, then actually show them falling in love! When did the Doctor decide he loved River? When he found out she was Amy’s literal daughter? When he found out she was a psychopath? Or did it all begin in the Library when she died for him, because he already knew that for some reason one day he would marry her, and it’s all just placebo from then on? Or did Ten just regenerate into the sort of man who inexplicably “love(s) a bad girl, me”, and really gets off on those moments when River threatens to shoot and kill other life forms? Yeah, that makes sense. When did River decide she loved the Doctor? When Kovarian told her he’s the scourge of universes? Or was it when River heard he's ultimately the reason she was kidnapped and made to be raised by the Silence and forced into a space suit as a child, because one day she has to rid the universe of this man? Oh! Maybe she fell in love with him when her literal parents went to primary school with her as peers and Amy told her about the Raggedy Doctor as little girls and Mels decided she’d marry him for some reason one day even though she was trained to kill him! (*big pause to catch my breath*) Do you see what I’m saying? We didn’t see it happen. We were told, not shown, that they were in love, or that they would be in love enough to marry one day, and then we watched it not actually happen. And so did the Doctor and River. They are both living in a constant state of resignation to their relationship. Moffat didn’t tell a love story, he told an epilogue, and neither of the lovers got to experience the beginning! For all the cutesy times they quipped “spoilers” at each other, they never once just let things take their course naturally. They lived in the spoilers. The spoilers are the only reason they’re together in the first place!

And one more thing. A side thing. The Doctor did not want to marry River. That’s disappointing, isn’t it? The wedding was not a happy one. They did it because according to River, their history (their relationship’s “archeology”) differed - she’s either the woman who murders or marries the Doctor, and given those choices, the Doctor wanted to choose murderer instead of wife as River’s role because it was the only way to save reality, but she wouldn't listen to him until he called her wife. Their wedding, just like everything else about their romantic history, is something they’re forced into. It’s contrived. It’s confusing. It’s very difficult to believe in. Moffat gave us all the relational-dynamic payoff prematurely and never actually showed us the part where they fell in love.

That’s my problem(s) with their relationship. Now let me talk about (as requested) River as a character again and what I actually do find most interesting and endearing about her and about her relationship with the Doctor. Like I said, I actually do love her, I actually do ship it, and now I’m gonna vomit out why.

The most endearing thing about River to me is that she is insecure, and that humanizes the silly ideal. Now, in spinoff material River led a very long and varied life, and the Doctor was not the only man she was intimate with. But he’s the only one she loves. That love is what makes her so insecure. And it is love—after a while of repeatedly running into him after Lake Silencio, River is consistently choosing to put the Doctor and his needs before herself and her own. She always had it in her; she’s Amy and Rory’s daughter and the child of the Tardis, after all. But it’s the influence that the Doctor has on her that makes her go from psychopath to heroine. She genuinely believes he’s the best man ever, which is saying something when your father is Rory Williams.

And she, River, murdered him or tried to. She was stolen from his friends and made to attack him, made to put them in danger. She had to lie to him nearly every time they met, or at the very least withhold important information from him. Every time she met him, he trusted her less and less and less.

And the Doctor is not perfect, but think about how River must see him. He must seem perfect, right? He’s so, so kind, he’s so, so good. He’s so brave. He’s so selfless. He’s so smart. He’s amazing, and he uses his time and his talents for other people, saving lives and helping out all across the stars. He even helped her. He even forgave her. That’s why she fell in love with him, not because he’s hot when he’s clever, not because she’s a psychopath and really, Madam Kovarian, who else was she going to fall in love with, what a basic mistake – NO. If you want to look at it from its most compelling angle, no matter how confusing it gets, how contrived, the most compelling angle is that River loves the Doctor because the Doctor forgave her. In spite of everything. And we see how she really thinks of him, how insecure she truly is, what she really thinks he must feel about her, in The Husbands of River Song. That episode is my favorite River episode.

She got to marry him, but it was under force. She got to be with him, but not forever. She got to help him, but not always. They kissed, but he treated it like it was the first time. He forgave her, but he had to bail them all out in the end, because when she tried she made a mess of it. “Trust you? Seriously?” “I don’t wanna marry you.” “You embarrass me.” “Why do you have to be this? Melody Pond—your daughter, I hope you’re both proud!” River is in love with him, but she genuinely does not think he is in love with her. On paper, it doesn’t seem like she’d be someone he chooses to love. Maybe someone he chooses to pity. Maybe someone he chooses to look after, because her parents are dead now and he loved them and he failed to save Melody the first time, guilty to the last. Whichever way she looks at it, he can’t possibly love her. Sure, he flirts with her, but he flirts with everyone. Yes, she’s smart, but he only takes the best. He’s surrounded by smart. She saved him and it was her honor, but she’s not the first to do that anyway. And like I said, neither of them got to see when the other person first started loving them, because it’s all back-to-front and they exist in a state of resignation. I can think of no better way to feel insecure about where you stand with the man you love than literally never ever knowing when it will begin.

But River’s cool. She’s brave and clever and she can do just about anything she wants with whoever she wants. She can live like the Doctor—adventures in time and space, and maybe sometimes he’ll run into her. In fact, she keeps calling on him when she needs help, and doesn’t he always come? Doesn’t that mean something? One day they’ll be married, just keep waiting, okay, now they are married, he’ll get used to it, he still flirts with her, stay cool, stay funny, stay smart, at least he’s still around, just keep waiting— And then after a while she stops waiting. She’s not like her mother. She gets on with life. The Husbands of River Song is genius because their timelines are synced perfectly, at last, for them to be at the peak of their affection for one another. River doesn’t know him, but not because he’s wearing a new face, because he’s actually really, really obvious about the fact that it’s him. He’s constantly trying to get her to see it without outright saying it, but she has this mental block that will not even consider that he’s there, especially the deeper they go into danger together. Why is that? Well, she says it. The enemy says she’s the perfect bait, refers to her as the woman who loves the Doctor, and what does River say? It's right here. And it’s made very clear by her actions throughout the episode before this speech that River really does believe it. Because he’s standing right behind her listening to all of that and she hasn’t seen that it’s him, because of course he’s not here. She suffers from the same mentality her sweet dad Rory did—that the person she loves will never love her the way she loves them. River doesn’t think she’s nothing, but she thinks she’s nothing to the Doctor.

I think it’s beautiful that she was wrong. I think the Doctor loves River, and I think it’s a very different love than what he had for Rose Tyler (or, now that I think of it, Sarah Jane). It’s still love, it’s just not the same. It’s nice that you can ship both, actually.

(If you ask me which I think is the better love story between the two ships, that’s a different essay for a different time, and one that I think will have people drop-kicking me throughout every facet of the internet. Right now we’re focusing on River and on her ship with the Doctor, which I do enjoy.) I may not think that it was brilliantly executed, but the fact remains that at some point, the Doctor did grow to love and care about River Song. And there’s one part of their wedding that I also liked a lot— When he marries her and her parents give consent, the Doctor’s first request of his wife is “help me”. That’s what wives do! That’s what husbands need from wives! That’s marriage. The sticking together no matter what, being the person you both turn to in life’s darkest moments. River understood that concept, because when Amy asks in The Angels Take Manhattan if allowing the Angel to touch her will send her to Rory, who has just died in front of them, the Doctor says he doesn’t know, and Amy asks “But it’s my best shot, yeah?” The Doctor shouts no, but River tells him to shut up. “Yes, yes, it is!” And she’s crying, but she’s smiling too. She knows what she would do if she were Amy. She knows why Amy is going to let the Angel touch her. Because that’s marriage. And that’s what she feels for the Doctor. I do ship it! I love the idea that love helped shape River instead of hate, contrary to Kovarian’s plans for Melody. I love the idea that the Doctor started out untrusting of River and in the end, trusted her implicitly. I love that he had her when he needed help. And let’s face it, they really are so much fun.

56 notes · View notes

frownyalfred · 11 months

Note

okay the extent to which your amazing fucking fics are possibly infecting every corner of my brain now is starting to get legitimately concerning,,, which isn't actually news, but what IS new is the way i looked at that one BvS gif you just blogged yesterday?? and IMMEDIATELY saw the facial expression ben affleck made and went "WOMAN!!!"

....LOOK MAYBE I'M THE CRAZY ONE HERE, I GET IT OKAY but like,, something about that bitchy expression where you just KNOW he's saying the pettiest fucking line just then?!?! i swear on my life i have NEVER seen a cis man's face do that before, with the CLOSEST approximation i possibly would have thought anybody with a Y chromosome was capable of [before seeing that gif] being the sort of expressions drag queens do. (i hope that doesn't sound too weird/dismissive — not to go off on too much of a tangent, but i could probably write At Least one essay on why it's okay to admit that drag as an art form is not really an accurate depiction of femininity, AS LONG AS you acknowledge that drag is still Absolutely a beautifully, passionately written love letter TO the concept of femininity that fully deserves the appreciation it gets; but this is still not what i'm actually here to talk about lol)

okay yeah ANYWAYS that gif just absolutely SOLD me on the concept of bruce as an omega, and i'm saying this as someone who literally already has an omega!bruce WIP!! like, i've always thought the core philosophy behind batman tends to make him unintentionally very female-coded (and i must confess, i'm really curious to see whether you already have an opinion on this lol) in many different ways, but this is the first time i've seen/heard ANY GUY, let alone a batman actor with the right physicality to be batman, pull of this specific look, so i guess i'm just... shocked to be vindicated??? idk lol but i wanted to share so hope u at least enjoyed my manic ramblings a little bit <3 -krish

Batfleck is pretty! I've been saying that for years! He's this very intriguing mix of pure Batman physicality like you mentioned (man is canonically bigger than Clark in BVS) but also so beautiful and downright mesmerizing in certain close-ups on his face. Plush lips, high cheekbones, big, shining eyes? On Batman?? Sign me up!!

People laughed at me when I specifically started a coral room in the BVS universe, because I know most superbat a/b/o fics generally use a smaller, more omega-typical Bruce (which isn't bad!). But I wanted to challenge the trope stereotype by still having large, muscular Bruce lean into those more feminine moments like you mentioned -- it's an interesting contrast, seeing him hold so much space and power yet as soon as he makes eye contact with Clark, it's almost...sensual.

I think there are a lot of interesting stereotypical female roles Batman as a character unintentionally fulfills. He's the head of a family, the emotional center, the one adopting children, the one reassuring them. The fun I'm having with a sky of honey is just letting Bruce name these behaviors for what they are, in universe -- attempts at fulfilling his instincts that he keeps trying to curtail or avert entirely.

(gif in question below for those who are curious)

#not sure if this was a coherent answer sorry #still on cold meds #myfic #theresurrectionist #a sky of honey #a/b/o mention #a/b/o tw #mpreg mention #mpreg tw #bruce wayne #batman #batfleck #dc #clark kent #asks #superbat #bvs

51 notes · View notes

buckera · 7 months

Text

☀️ writing patterns ☀️

rules: list the first line(s) of your last 10+1 posted fics and see if there's a pattern!

because we'll all arrive in heaven alive

buddie | 51.4k and counting | Explicit

Thursday, day 5

Buck was still trying to wrap his head around what had happened, it was all so quick; the rain, the debris, the mudslide and then the moment of radio silence before the chaotic explosion of noise.

“We’re not giving up on him.” Bobby had said at the time, but after four days, it has become abundantly clear that instead of a search and rescue, most people have already started to treat this as a recovery mission; except they still haven’t recovered the person who mattered the most.

And When You Speak, Angels Sing From Above

buddie + Shannon centric | 2.8k | Gen

Eddie should’ve seen it coming; the fancy restaurant, the idle evening walk in the city and the arranged sleepover giving them all night to be alone. In his defense, he was blinded by how perfect it all seemed.

Right up to the moment they got home, tangled into each other, rolling along the walls of the hallway, kissing and giggling at the increasingly silly things that Buck kept saying — then, Buck was suddenly gone from his personal space, getting down on one knee in front of him instead, saying words that rang through Eddie’s ears, without their meaning managing to penetrate the walls of his brain.

It didn’t matter.

no harm, no foul

buddie | 4.9k | Mature

The last couple of days felt… Well, honestly, confusing would be the word Buck would use.

The one thing that became clear in the recent weeks, was that he and Eddie were done pretending that there wasn’t something going on between them. (Right after spending at least two months violently dismissing any notion of such an idea, while simultaneously wondering if the other was doing the same. God, they could be really stupid sometimes… Buck was honestly surprised they even made it this far like this.)

Unfortunately, that clarity still left something else much more blurry; their direction.

we’ve got something permanent (i mean in the way we care)

buddie | 7.1k | Explicit

In hindsight, Eddie should’ve seen it coming from a mile away, after the week they’ve had.

It started out by having two days off back to back — which Eddie had planned on using to lay about the house, maybe with some slow make out sessions peppered in, while Chris was at school.

Apparently, Buck had other ideas.

Keep My Heart Warm In Yours

buddie | 18.5k | Mature

The whole thing started with Youtube — as most things do when 12-year-olds are concerned.

Christopher shuffled into the living room with determination, where Eddie was trying to figure out the settings of his new smart TV and Buck was folding and flipping the instruction manual back and forth, trying to find the beginning of it when Chris shoved his phone under his nose.

Of Love, Hospital Jitters And Christmas Lights

buddie | 6.3k | Teen + Up

“MOVE! MOVE! MOVE!” Buck shouted frantically as he pushed past people and ran through the sliding doors leading to the ER.

A nurse ran up to him immediately, waving to people behind herself for help and Buck felt his fingers go numb with fear as he tried to focus on her face.

You Ring, I Drool

buddie | 8.6k | Explicit

Eddie had long realized the resemblance, but it started to become more and more evident lately — and much harder to ignore.

Simply put; Buck was like a dog. In more ways than one.

If This Is What The Season Is Bringing

buddie | 2k | Teen + Up

December 25th 2021

Buck went straight to the fridge after he kicked his door shut. He really needed a beer right about now.

Okay, so Eddie was leaving the 118. Fine.

Well, not fine, nowhere near fine actually.

Out Of Order, Still In Line

buddie | 6.2k | Explicit

Buck could barely believe that today was finally The Day.

After weeks of power outages, paperwork mix-ups, unauthorised appointments and last minute emergencies, Buck finally made it to the Clinic.

And now here he was.

I Was Betting On Forever (But Forever Comes And Goes)

buddie | 4k | Teen + Up

Eddie was startled awake by the forceful ring of his phone.

He reached over to the nightstand blindly with an annoyed huff and pulled the phone off of the charger. He held it above his face, the brightness of the screen making him squint as he read the caller ID.

Unknown Caller.

Coming On Ever So Strong / Coming Off Ever So Soft

buddie | 14.7k | Explicit

Today

Buck didn’t have the best track record when drunk.

That was probably the explanation why his head was pounding like someone was trying to break into his skull with a sledgehammer. And why there was someone pressed up to his side in his own bed.

☀️✨☀️✨☀️

oh I feel so exposed lmao all those pointed single sentence lines dropped in there, just to set the tone are definitely something I swear by... I also use timestamps a lot cuz I love to jump all over the place and then of course there's my dearest friend; in medias res.

I was tagged by the wonderful @jeeyuns @exhuastedpigeon and @wikiangela mwuahhh 💛 and I'm totally no pressure tagging @malewifediaz @spagheddiediaz @daffi-990 @diazsdimples @watchyourbuck and whoever else feels like giving this a go ✨

#it feels like I haven't done a tag game in ages #😭#my reading list has been waiting for me for weeks atp and I'm sweating blood to keep up with posting #but I miss pumping out all these fics for my boys 🫶#but alas I was on a mental health break and now I'm back in training and actively pursuing my career #so I doubt I'll be that productive again #but then again who knows what the new season will bring out of me lmao #buddie #911 #tag games #my fic

42 notes · View notes

we-will-be-reun1ted · 11 months

Note

Aether is the one that makes their food the majority of the time and is less impulsive than Lumine, usually there to point out flaws in her plans/ideas because if she executed them they'd have horrible consequences that she was aware of but didn't actually process.

Lumine has to drag Aether off of every tall tree/building because the rat won't stop climbing everything he sees and she's sick of it. She's thrown rocks at him to make him come down. She's also the one that made their clothes and the one who properly learnt how to fight and taught Aether how to do so (which is why she's a faster fighter than Aether, while Aether is a strong defender)

I like to think their wings, even if not physically attached to their bodies, are still very much part of their bodies due to it being tied to their powers. So they can feel and move the wings just like any winged creature. They also feel the subtilties in atmospheric changes with them and can easily recognize wind currents and where they're going (results in wings being very sensitive to touch)

Bodies are Much warmer temperatures because they're star creatures and also need the heat for when they're flying through space. They're both also pretty light for the whole flying thing.

I like to think that if they get Extremely upset/desperate, they'll full on unleash the raw power of a star on someone (unknown god) as a last resort, though it takes up a Ton of energy and tires them out greatly.

The glowing spots on their clothes (chest, wrists, knees for aether. Those things) are glow spots they have on their bodies because of the whole star people thing. Those areas are probably much warmer than the other body parts too.

Based on voicelines from characters and just how the game works; i also believe that Aether prefers to use sign language around people but will verbally speak if comfortable enough or when fully alone with someone he fully trusts (like Lumine or Paimon)

Sorry for the big text i just have a lot of thoughts about these two twins and saw that you do too and am now throwing them at you. I have more but brain is starting to lag

woah Woah WOAH HELLO THERE??? This is the first time anyone has sent their headcanons to me oh my god??? I’m absolutely buzzing this is fantastic! Hi!!

Okay okay I’m gonna answer this in sections cause this is a lot of writing. Im actually so excited to reply to this wtf

Food/Impulse

Okay this one fits in absolutely perfectly to my headcanons. Aether makes most of their food due to Lumine not having the patience for it. She can cook she’s a good cook but with her cooking it would turn into an episode of Gordon Ramsay Hells Kitchen hella fast.

Honestly it’s better to not have Lumine around when making food at all. She will try to take over and get really pissed off if everything isn’t done exactly how she would do it.

This is Lumine after Aether takes a fish off the fire exactly five seconds before she tells him to take it off:

Aether is patient. Aether can make a salad without almost breaking the bowl.

And I also agree with the impulse one! I feel like Lumine usually comes up with a lot of the plans for anything they do. Exploring a world, fighting something, escaping something yada yada.

Aethers the one who gives her a lot of advice for it and ‘polishes the plan up’ so to say. As you said Lumine is very impulsive and in the heat of the moment will go with the first thing she thinks about rather than giving it serious thought. That’s why Aether is there. He tries to help calm her down and tell her the flaws of the plan and what would/could happen if she went through with it.

And THATS why traveler Lumine gets into so much shit CONSTANTLY. Her brother isn’t around to be her fucking BABYSITTER. She stuck helping fucking aranaras constantly I hate those stupid aranaras.

Climbing/Clothes/Fighting

THE RAT HELP oh my god you’ve made me giggle with that. I absolutely love this headcanon it’s fantastic I can picture her throwing rocks at him while Aether hangs onto the branch of a tree like a stray cat.

Personally in my eyes they are both a HUGE chaotic duo when they are together so they would both be constantly trying to climb shit and probably getting stuck.

They see tall building and immediately look at each other like 😏

The amount of places they have been banned from for climbing shit is astonishing. It could fill up a small planet in itself.

Oh my god you know I haven’t properly thought about their clothes and I like your idea. I feel like she would of purposely given them inverted themes so they could be matching in a subtle sense while still going with both of their personal styles.

She tried to teach Aether to sew but he kept pricking himself with the needle 💔

Ooooh okokok right this is genuinely just stuff I’ve made up in my silly mind but okay so

I’m my little headcanon lore thingy they were both taught to fight by little guardians/teachers in a world (worlds???) they went to. Originally both being taught the opposite - Aether fighting and Lumine defending until they both started teaching each other their moves and excelled in the opposite things. I can 100% see Lumine teaching Aether to fight though.

Wings

Okay I don’t have much to say here other than i completely agree with absolutely everything you just said. Adding in that I feel like their wings were gifted to them by one of the first planets they came across and helped! This was eons ago so the two have gotten extremely accustomed to flying and feeling through their wings, though I feel like the two can make their wings disappear and reappear. Kinda like when the traveler throws the sword behind their back and it just appears in their hand then they are fighting.

Also! Aethers wings being made from sunlight and Lumines wings being made from moonlight 🫶

Oh my god imagine they made a little language through their wings if one or both isn’t able to speak? Like one flutter means stop, two means attack etc etc stuff like that!

Temperature

I deffo see this, though I feel like their bodies are way more adapted to the cold rather than the warm. It’s INCREDIBLY cold in space which is where the two spend the most of their time and where they technically live. Their bodies have adapted to the cold and can absorb heat from planets the go to and kind of store it?? Kind of like a little thermal radiator.

Power

Oh oh I like this this is interesting. What do you headcanon that to be like? Like what kind of power do you think they have when they get so desperate?

Language/Speaking

THIS IS SUCH A CUTE HEADCANON I have no idea why but I absolutely love this wtf?? I can totally see him doing that.

Okok my version of this IS the twins have their own language. They can both learn to speak other languages pretty fast, but it takes a bit of time. So in the meantime they (the traveler) allow Paimon to talk for them and translate it and only talk when necessary and when they know what to say.

I ALSO feel like around each other the twins have this kind of telapathic connection (you know what they say about twin telepathy and such) and so sometimes don’t need to speak to each other to talk. They can communicate through knowing what the other is thinking and feeling and through touch and stuff like that.

The two have deffo gone through days of not speaking and just talking through thoughts and such, when out of nowhere one of them will break it by just saying the most out of context shit and making the other jump out of their skin.

⟢

No please do NOT apologise this made me so happy to answer! I love hearing any and all headcanons about the twins they are my BIGGEST hyperfixation at the moment. Feel free to send even more! That goes for absolutely anyone. Thank you so much for sending this to me :D

#genshin #genshin impact #aether genshin impact #lumine genshin impact #lumine #lumine headcanons #aether #aether headcanons #lumine and aether #aether and lumine #genshin traveler #genshin twins #genshin headcanons #starcrossed headcanons #starcrossed asks

27 notes · View notes

ihaveatheoryonthat · 9 months

Text

At one point, I mentioned that I was torn as to which silly crossover to let myself write for my birthday. Friends in Low Places ultimately won out, but the second option was a Psychonauts crossover. This isn't the same as Power Trick, even though it draws from what I'd put together for that story-- it's an entirely different take on the concept.

If you're unfamiliar with Psychonauts 2 and don't want it spoiled via an incomplete WIP, you probably shouldn't read this one. It even starts with a spoiler, so the whole thing's going under a cut.

---

It wasn’t that the mission to retrieve Helmut’s body was going badly. It wasn’t.

It was just that his body… didn’t stay as trapped as anyone thought it would, and had been roaming, brainless, throughout the Grulovian countryside. But, hey! They didn’t need to chip through nearly as much ice as they’d expected, and Raz was getting a good clairvoyant workout in trying to track him down! There were more pros than cons, in his opinion.

He had yet to decide what category the giant ice mountain fell into. Raz had been tiny when his parents moved the family out of the country, so he would have assumed it had been there for millennia, but the locals insisted it was a new feature. That seemed relevant, somehow. A giant lake gets frozen solid, and then a couple decades later, a big chunk of ice appears? It couldn’t be coincidence. None of the nearby townspeople seemed to know how it got there, though-- just that a couple of years ago, everyone had gone to bed and found it looming over them the next morning.

Now, Razputin may have been a master of neither geometry nor geology, but he was pretty sure that was abnormal mountain behavior, and definitely worth investigation. As luck would have it, Helmut’s body had already moved on from the town, and the mountain was the next stop on it’s predetermined path, which gave Raz a perfect excuse to poke around without ignoring his mission.

When he went to leave the town, an older woman tucked [?] into his hands and told him to carry it with him as payment for safe passage.

Ominous!

He was still going.

The toughest part of the trip was the distance itself-- outside of more developed areas, the snow piled up and was difficult to traverse, though there were numerous grooves worn into the powder, suggesting he wasn’t the first to travel this direction. Not all of them went the same way, and some were deeper than others, which made Raz wonder why the locals would trek all the way out here-- if it was curiosity, tradition or psychic interference drawing them in.

One of the funny things about distance was that it minimized the destination. Slowly, the mountain grew in scale, the opaque ice glittering in the midday sun from a mile away, until it dwarfed everything else. Even at a distance, the dark tunnels leading inward were an immediate contrast against the shining, pristine surface, and in and of itself, that could so easily lure passerby.

Someone who lacked a brain in a very literal sense would stride right on in.

Fortunately, Raz was no mere passerby. He was a mildly trained psychic with a mission, and he kind of knew what he was getting himself into. He made an effort to remember the turns he was taking and thought he was doing a pretty good job… if one were to ignore the fact that he hadn’t actually found anything. Every offshoot led deeper into the tunnel system, and while it made sense that there wouldn’t be much open space inside the mountain, the halls were unnaturally consistent. There came a point where Raz found he could predict what the next set would look like because they all followed the same pattern-- all of them identical.

He was probably caught in some kind of illusion.

Raz wasn’t one to give up, but he could also recognize a lost cause, and right now, he wasn’t making any progress. He had to figure out where the [illusion] was coming from and neutralize it before continuing down this path, so he turned his back on the next fork and began retracing his steps.

To his surprise, it didn’t lead him directly out of the mountain, like a single loop would have. He had to count each repetition down, inverting the turns he’d taken, which made him realize just how far he’d wandered before the pattern registered. He wasn’t worried yet, because he knew where he was going, but it made him reconsider what was going on; maybe not an illusion or a psychic construct, but something focused on disorientation? It didn’t feel like he’d taken this much time on the way in…

He heard footsteps. He whirled around to face the branch off of the tunnel, one hand raised to his temple just in case, and crept closer, hoping he might get the drop on whatever had caused the sound. The silhouette that turned the corner was strange-- tall and disproportionate, wider as it [got lower down].

It was the tale end of a muttered, “--V?” that clued Raz in on its exact nature. He relaxed and-- since there was no point in calling out to a brainless body-- trotted over to start corralling Helmut. The upper half of the silhouette moved, distinct from the body and, now that Raz was looking, rose well above the horned hat. He would have gone on the defensive again, if not for:

“Ah, are you lost as well? Come with me, please; I’ll see you both to your destination.”

He didn’t move, but Helmut’s body did. The second person gripped its shoulder to still it for the moment and raised their free hand. Gradually, light filtered in through the ice-- crystal clear now, instead of opaque with frost, keeping the tunnels dim-- which allowed them to observe one another.

The first thing Raz noticed was that the person looked like he’d lost a fight with a psychic bear; his clothes were ratty and thin in places, but in spite of the [lacking] winter wear, he seemed largely unbothered by the cold. The second thing was that he was incredibly pale-- pale hair, pallid skin, and eyes light enough to reflect back at whoever was looking. He hesitated on the last point, because something was wrong there; while this person was looking at him straight-on, it seemed like he wasn’t seeing Raz properly. Not in the sense that he had bad eyesight, but that he just… wasn’t seeing the same reality Raz saw.

That probably had something to do with the third point of interest: the impractically thick hunk of psilirium that encircled the person’s wrist. It wasn’t the worst Raz had seen by a long shot, but it was still enough to make his eyes water when he looked directly at it. From the corner of his vision, he watched the light play off of it as the man dropped his arm; he wondered how in the world that could have happened, and how this person was going about their daily life wearing the world’s worst mood bracelet.

“Please,” The man said, his clouded eyes sweeping over Raz, “It’s not safe to travel down these tracks. I know the route well, and can lead you back to safety.”

That final word struck a chord, and Raz inclined his head. Was this who the woman in town was talking about? The [?] was meant for him, in return for guiding people out of the mountain?

The man’s shoulders relaxed and the angle of his eyes shifted. He waved Raz over with his psitanium-cuffed hand and waited for him to fall into step after him, adjusting his grip on Helmut’s shoulder to prompt the brainless body onward with them.

“You don’t dress like the locals. Did you come here to investigate Korona? If so, I would highly advise against such a course of action; the paths here are treacherous, almost like they have a mind of their own.” The person said, voice low, but still bouncing off of the icy walls and echoing into the tunnels.

Raz shook his head, and then tilted it toward Helmut’s body, “Actually, I was looking for him.”

He heard a relieved laugh, “Ah, good! Perhaps you’ll succeed where I’ve failed; no matter how I try to impress the danger upon him, he always returns here. It’s… nice to see a familiar face, but I don’t want him to put himself at risk.”

“Do you know him? Who are you?” […]

There was a long pause. “Warden. I’m the warden of this territory. It’s my duty to ensure that none come to harm under my watch.”

[…] “You’re the warden of the mountain?”

He nodded, and didn’t look back.

“Then do you know how it got here?” […]

Warden’s head turned to fix him with a blank stare. “I’m unsure what you mean by that; Mount Korona has been here as long as I can remember.”

Raz felt his brow wrinkle as he considered the impossibility of that, and then realized how it could be true. “How long have you been here?”

The look turned vaguely helpless, and the warden repeated, “As long as I can remember.”

...yeah, the psilirium definitely wasn’t doing him any favors. Raz didn’t think he could take his eyes off of Helmut’s body long enough to do anything about that-- not without running the risk of losing it to the countryside yet again-- but maybe he could come back after this mission was over... or, if not, then at least make sure he reported the person wandering around with an active psychohazard on his wrist. As they walked, he prodded gently at the man’s mind, but wasn’t surprised to find himself repelled; while the psilirium was taking a toll, Warden was in direct contact with it and still functional, which meant his psychic defenses wouldn’t be anything to sneeze at.

For just a second, Raz considered lobbing a confusion grenade, just in case that might increase the man’s lucidity, but he was pretty sure he’d get in a load of trouble for it if anyone found out.

They made it to the mouth of the cave without incident, and Warden inclined his head to Raz, gesturing for him to take over in guiding Helmut’s body. He reached over and took him by a sleeve, and then hesitated. The man was outside of the cave system for now; if he could get him to the base camp somehow, that would make removing the psilirium orders easier. Not only would it save everyone the trouble of hunting him back down, but they would have numbers on their side, and maybe even tools that would help.

Before the stranger could bid them goodbye, Raz hastily said, “You think you could help me get him-- ah-- home? He… keeps getting away from me.”

Warden blinked at him, and then shifted to consider Helmut’s body.

“I can.” He decided, tucking the psilirium-laden arm behind his back and moving the opposite hand to rest upon Helmut’s shoulder. “Lead the way; I’ll ensure that he follows the route you set.”

The trip back to the base camp wasn’t going to be an easy one; it was definitely more direct than the path Raz had picked out, hopping from town to town as he tracked Helmut’s meandering body, but even walking in a straight line, it was a substantial distance. One unexpected silver lining was that, instead of behaving as snow usually did, it parted for them as they passed through, the powdery ice freezing into place on their either side.

Raz reached out with one gloved hand and found that there was no give; it was like it had thawed and refrozen, creating a smooth, glassy texture. He didn’t know cryokinesis, and without a brain, Helmut’s body couldn’t have done that, so he looked to the last off the potential culprits; the warden stared dispassionately out at the horizon line, giving no indication that he noticed the scrutiny he’d been put under. He wasn’t actively moving the snow, but the ambient energy around him-- a psychic aura-- absently pushed outward, and was definitely the reason they could travel unhindered.

He didn’t try to make small talk as they went-- though, occasionally, Helmut’s body chimed in with one-word commentary-- and that seemed to suit the warden just as well. Every now and then, the man would glance over at him, as if to gauge where they were headed and ensure that everyone was where he’d last seen them, but he never offered any of his thoughts, either.

[…]

Belatedly, he realized that they were missing one body, and frantically scanned the area. He found who he was looking for in a matter of seconds, back turned and already on his return trip to the mountain.

“Hey! Warden!” He hollered, and didn’t even need to make up any excuses this time, “Wait up! I’m s’posed to give you something for helping us!”

The man hesitated and only half-turned to respond. While his answer was clearly audible, it barely seemed like he was even raising his voice, “That’s unnecessary. I don’t require a reward simply for doing my job.”

Raz was vaguely aware of the startled breath that sounded behind him, but figured it was just because Hollis realized that the psychohazard was all but wandering away; he decided to stall for time and ran to catch up. “That’s how they said it works in town-- it’s not payment, it’s just, you know, gratitude for helping people out.”

Warden watched as he skidded to a halt, and then sighed. “I appreciate their kindness, but they don’t need to do any such thing.”

“Yeah, and they appreciate your kindness. See? It all equals out.” He tried, insistently offering the [?].

Finally, Warden accepted it, extending his psilirium-laden hand in order to move the cloth back look at what lay beneath. As he did so, a pained hiss sounded from behind Raz-- more than one, in fact-- and the man’s head shot up. His eyes were no clearer than ever, but there was an awareness in them-- the recognition of danger. Panic. Rapidly, he raised his cuffed hand to a temple and… vanished.

So it turned out that he knew how to teleport. That made this a lot harder.

“Razputin,” Hollis said, sounding hoarse, though that could have been a byproduct of the psilirium exposure, “Do you know who that was?”

“Yeah, that was the warden; he helps out whenever people get lost inside the mountain.” […]

“Maybe that’s how he was introduced to you,” [Otto], “But before that, he was one of ours-- an agent who went missing years ago.”

Shaking her head to dispel the lingering effects, Hollis looked from Raz to where the warden once stood.

“Agent Aquato, you just found the lost Agent Motif.”

(Pardon me while I perpetuate the joke about Raz being the best at finding missing persons, be they bodies, brains or something in between.)

---

Raz was pretty sure he recognized the name Motif. The most likely explanation was that he’d read it in a comic somewhere, but that didn’t help narrow it down; he’d gone through a lot of comics in his time, and couldn’t exactly go back and revisit all of them, since his mom family had little to no regard for the preservation of literature.

It must have been the name of a supporting agent, he thought-- either that, or maybe it had been in an advertisement for another issue that he hadn’t ever gotten his hands on. The specifics didn’t really matter right now; it was way more important to find Agent Motif again, and for good this time. It seemed like a pretty good bet that he went back to the mountain-- to Korona-- but it wasn’t as simple as going there and wandering through the tunnels until someone ran into him. Even if they went to the trouble of tracking him down, there was nothing stopping him from teleporting away for a second time.

It sounded like everyone had different ideas how to tackle that problem. Hollis had gone to talk to someone back at HQ hours ago, and Otto was tinkering in his field laboratory, trying to set up something that would inhibit Agent Motif’s powers without relying on psilirium to do the job. Lizzie hadn’t been there to meet him, but when brought into the fold, she’d scoffed and muttered something about lectures under her breath. That seemed a little extreme; it had just been a basic rundown of the facts, not [a lecture].

Raz was on his way to check in with Bob and Helmut again when a new voice caught his attention and-- without thinking-- he found himself wandering toward it.

“Hollis.” The speaker said, steely and without emotion, “What is going on here?”

He stopped just shy of getting a visual, and belatedly realized that this was definitely eavesdropping, but stayed put, too curious to walk away yet.

“We’re on a mission to retrieve a lost agent. You already knew that-- you had no interest in participating.” Hollis said back, utterly unmoved.

“Correct. I had no place in the effort to retrieve Helmut’s body.” The other person somehow both agreed and argued, “We both know that is not why I’m here now.”

“Then why don’t you do us both a favor, Emmet? Explain to me why you are here, just so we know we’re on the same page.” […]

There was a dull thud, only resonating for a split second, “My brother, Hollis. You explain to me why I found out about this through office gossip.”

“At a guess, I would say it was because you were listening in on communications channels again.” Hollis [said] dryly. After a second, she sighed, “This is why I didn’t contact you immediately; we have to get a handle on the situation first. I don’t have any doubt that was Ingo, but he’s not acting like himself, and we need to understand why before diving in.”

“You don’t think it’s the giant piece of psilirium on his wrist?” The man asked, flat but disbelieving.

“After your stint at Charlie Psycho Delta? No, there has to be something else.”

“Our defenses are best when we’re together. He won’t withstand it as well by himself.”

[something gives Raz away]

Both of them went silent, and, after a moment, Hollis called out to him. “Would you care to join us, Agent Aquato?”

Guiltily, he slunk around the corner and through the door. He made apologetic eye contact with Hollis, and then looked to the other person. All at once, the pieces fell together: the surname and given names, the long, worn coat he’d seen Agent Motif wearing, now that he could compare it to an undamaged version, the teleportation out of and into the base--

“You’re the Countertype Conductors,” He said, already raking his mind for everything he knew about the pair of sibling Psychonauts. Since their job was to get agents to and from their destinations, they usually only got passing mentions and cameos, but one of his guesses had been right on the money: Issue 57 of True Psychic Tales had teased a story about psitanium smugglers, and the splash page featured two identical men pressed back to back, channeling psychic energy between their own pointing hands and between one another. He hadn’t ever been able to read that [issue], but any mention of them he had seen was as a pair-- as the Agents Motif or, when a book was getting dramatic, the Countertype Conductors.

Agent Motif-- Emmet-- curled his lip into a grimace at the declaration, and then looked back to Hollis. “This does not get you off the hook. I want to be a part of this mission.”

“There is no mission yet.” Hollis told him, nodding briefly to Raz, “It was just today that Agent Aquato brought his findings to us; we’re in the process of gathering intelligence, not acting on it.”

Agent Motif looked at him again, considering. “Then our business has concluded, Agent Forsythe. Agent Aquato. I want to hear what you saw.”

“Emmet,” Hollis said, low and warning, “Is that really how you want to conduct yourself in front of a junior agent?”

He turned to look her dead in the eye and then, bluntly, declared, “I don’t care, Hollis. It’s been two and a half years. I am beyond caring what anyone else thinks of me.”

They stared at one another for a handful of seconds, neither backing down.

Eventually, Hollis narrowed her eyes. “Actually, I do have a mission for you, Motif. I want you to go speak with Agent Zanotto.”

“He has nothing worth saying. Not to me.” Emmet scoffed.

“No?” / “You don’t think the man who lost his partner has any insight into your situation?”

“No. I don’t. He lost another person. I lost part of myself. It is not the same.” He said, expression twisting in offense, “I am done with this conversation. If you have any useful information, tell me. Otherwise, I will handle the matter myself.”

A stony silence settled over them. Agent Motif shrugged and turned his back.

“You’re not leaving this base.” Hollis warned as he crossed the room’s threshold.

“You can’t stop me.” He said simply, which… was true. They were kind of hung up on how to prevent teleportation right now, without any of the tools from HQ.

Hollis grimaced as he walked away, and her eyes fell on Raz.

“I’m sorry about him, Razputin. It’s… too complicated to explain in full right now.” She pursed her lips in thought, and seemed to [give in], “Could I ask you to keep an eye on him for the evening? You don’t have to approach him again-- I’d actually avoid it, if you can. I just need to know that he’s not doing anything stupid while we figure out what to do about Ingo.”

[…]

“Ah.” He said, sounding less than enthusiastic-- and yet, what actually followed was, “Good. Aquato, I still need information from you.”

Yeah… Raz wasn’t exactly inclined to share, between what he’d seen earlier and the instructions to keep an eye on Motif.

“I don’t think I can tell you anything else. Hollis is probably your best bet.” He tried, thinking that might be enough of a deterrent for the time being, but Emmet just rolled his eyes.

“You do not have to tell me anything.” The man said, tilting his head to the side and closing his eyes, brows furrowed in concentration. For a second, it seemed like he would try to read Raz’s mind, but there was no pressure on the edges of his psyche.

“I don’t think that loophole works when everyone involved is psychic.” […]

Emmet snorted, but didn’t open his eyes. “You don’t have to think anything either.”

He was definitely manipulating some sort of psychic energy. Raz… thought he recognized it as Mental Connection, actually, but the application was completely different from the examples Hollis had used while teaching. It was a little closer to the functionality he got out of it, but there were still more differences than there were similarities.

“That works.” Agent Motif declared after a moment, and made an abrupt turn without opening his eyes. When he did tune back in to the real world, it was to shoot a glance Raz’s way, “I am sorry if this gets you in trouble with Hollis. Tell her I could not be reasoned with. It’s true. I will not tolerate any further delays.”

And, with that, he vanished from the premises.

Well, shoot.

---

The technique Agent Motif had used was, in fact, a branch of Mental Connection-- crossed with clairvoyance in this case. Hollis had given a very general explanation when Raz reported to her, but as fascinating as it sounded, there wasn’t time to delve into that right now. The combination of skills could be used to follow a trail, and there was little wondering where Emmet intended to go.

Raz had been the first to note that he must not have known about Mount Korona, otherwise he wouldn’t have needed to do anything but look out the window. With the confirmation that he was working with a dangerously small amount of information, Hollis decided they had to act immediately.

[…]

It was dim, but the light that did filter through suggested that it wasn’t always the case-- the cavern was dark right now because it was night, and during the daytime, visibility would have been much better. Because of the scant lighting, a number of features were visible: a vaguely circular [platform] in the room’s center, extending seamlessly from the floor, shelves of ice that were two inches thick and still crystal clear, putting their contents on full display, a frozen basin that somehow contained water, albeit with a thin sheet of ice forming on its top and, on the far side of the room, an uneven, knee-height platform.

It was the last [feature] that they gravitated toward, largely due to the fact that there was a person resting on it.

Agent Motif knelt down-- biting back a hiss at the cold that immediately seeped through his pants-- rested a hand on their shoulder, and gently shook it. There was a [startled] inhalation as the other man startled awake, and automatically raised a hand to rub at his eyes.

“Lady O--”

He stopped as soon as the sight registered; even though he’d only cracked one eye open, he somehow narrowed it as he tried to understand what he was looking at, and pushed himself into sitting up. The former Agent Motif looked one way, and then the other-- attention only barely flickering to Raz-- and even up before letting himself settle on the man in front of him. Haltingly, he raised an arm, dropped it, and then frowned at the result.

“You’re… not a reflection.” He said numbly.

Emmet visibly stopped himself from saying something, substituting a slow shake of his head.

The warden hesitated, the silence a blanket of snow obscuring his racing thoughts, and eventually added, “I know you.”

“I know you.” / “I missed you.”

His brother almost reached out, and then snatched his hand back, thinking better of it. It would have been confusing, if not for the way he tucked it into the coat he’d been wearing even in sleep, hiding the chunk of psilirium from immediate view.

Emmet let the hand braced on a shoulder drop, trying to coax it back out by tugging at a sleeve, “It’s okay. It won’t hurt me if we’re together. You’re safe with me.”

While its owner wasn’t convinced, he didn’t put up a fight. The arm slowly eased out, mirrored by a hand that reached over to press their palms together. Raz caught a hint of a wince-- the same expression that had crossed Emmet’s face when he’d first realized how cold the floor was-- but it didn’t stop the man from lacing their fingers together and leaning in until their foreheads touched.

Something must have passed between them, unspoken, because the warden flinched and Emmet raised his opposite hand to the back of his brother’s head-- not forcing him to stay, but steadying him and encouraging him to linger.

“It’s okay.” He repeated, forcing his voice into gentle tones, “I will not let anything else happen to you.”

---

Also, misc notes:

#submas #ihaveatheoryonthat pkmn #ihaveatheoryonthat psychonauts #writing scraps

16 notes · View notes

gh0st-eaterr · 2 days

Note

4, 13, 18 for the (one or more) sylvari occupying your brainspace lately

(my main three are always rotating in my brain like rotisserie chicken, so wheeee)

popping this under the cut because this will be Long(tm)

Will be answering for my sylvari Abhartach (Av), Oiliphéist (Ophie), and Rhynn

4. How was their awakening? Did something particular happen? What's their first memory?

None of them had particularly eventful awakenings as such, though Av distinctly recalls coming-to and going 'Hm. Body does not match gender, the fuck's up with that?' lmfao.

Ophie is/was a Valiant, i.e 'has a Wyld Hunt', so for him awakening was mostly just...disorienting. 'What do you MEAN I have bullshit responsibilities already, I crawled into this world an hour ago!'

Rhynn remembers the first hours of his awakening and realizing that he...fundamentally had no ability to empathetically connect to other sylvari. A lot of sylvari have this uncanny ability to get a read on each other pretty well, perceive emotions a lot more readily through a shared connection to the Dream -- Rhynn didn't have this. If you asked him nowadays, he'd also tell you he doesn't remember what he dreamt, either.

13. How do they feel about death? Does it make them curious or scared? Do they wish to understand it or do they simply accept it?

Av has a...very complicated relationship with the concept of death -- not even because he's a scholar of necromancy. He's been alive for some 24 years, and dealt with a lot of shit; death, for him, used to feel like it would be a matter of 'sooner rather than later'. Now, years after making a pact of protection with a lesser deity of Grenth himself, he's afraid of not being able to die. He's functionally immortal. There were some...oversights, when that pact was made.

Ophie accepts death for what it is; if it's his time, it's his time, so long as he goes out swinging. It's something he made peace with a long time ago, after he managed to escape the Nightmare Court; if fighting back against them becomes his end, then he takes solace in the fact he went out fighting the good fight. He's had a few close-calls in the past, but the fear wasn't dying as such, it was more 'I'm not done here, yet'.

Rhynn's the sort of egotistical maniac who hasn't really given much pause to the idea of death -- he's under (wrongful) assumption that nothing could match him, let alone best him. With the backing of some of the worst kinds of power the Nightmare has to offer, he thinks of himself as nothing short of a god. There's no curiosity or fear of it, nor understanding or acceptance -- he denies death as something that can (and will) happen to him.

18. [Free space for 3 pieces of trivia about your sylvari!]

He's Soundless, and takes far more solace in revering the human gods than the Tenets of Ventari and the Pale Tree...if you could call his attitude towards the gods 'reverence', even. Dream or Nightmare, he sees both sides as the same set of shackles that people cling to far too much.

He's left-handed! Though dependent on the task, he's just as capable with his right hand as the left. Can only really write with his left hand, though.

Adores cats. He has a sylvan cat by the name of 'Missy', short for Mischief. She's a sylvan cat specifically because he's very allergic to regular cats.

Ophie

He's one of a rare number of people born (or, I guess awoke) without an innate ability to use magic. At all. Which is especially strange and rare for a sylvari, whose entire being is practically saturated in magic. (In our canon we call it being 'Null' or 'null of magic'). It causes Problems.

He did actually used to be in the Nightmare Court. Canon says once you go to the NC there's no coming back, homebrew canon says 'nah' to that notion. Current hypotheses on how this is actually possible boil down to 'being a valiant' or the aforementioned 'utterly fucked and nonexistent connection to magic' making this less of a dire issue.

He's an environmental 'subtype' of sylvari that makes him particularly inclined to wetlands environments. He can hold his breath for a damn long time underwater.

Rhynn

He's something we've dubbed a 'Nightmare aspect holder' -- he embodies a particular facet of the Nightmare itself. Not unlike how Kryptis can be facets/aspects of emotions. Though, we came up with this well before we knew SotO would be a thing (by about a year or two).

He's also something we've dubbed as a 'Shade' -- a particular attunement to shadow magick. It's my take on the Specter class ingame.

(And now for something completely different!) For some reason, my brain decided he's a violinist. Couldn't tell you why, maybe it's that thing of 'asshole villain plays violin' or whatever.

#asks #guild wars 2 #gw2 #my characters #sylvari #oc: abhartach #oc: oiliphéist #oc: rhynn #nightmare court #long post

2 notes · View notes

roachemoji · 1 year

Text

Stranger Things - Season 3 thread 03 01

LETS GO GIRLS!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay okay okay starting off strong 1984 i see you i see you all these bald men are so sweaty and shiny and exhausted looking.

OH THE VFX BUDGET WENT UP BABBBEYYY OH LOOK AT THAT SHIT THATS COOL AS FUCK

So El isnt the one who opened the gate OG?? Really sick that they needed that much power to do it only forit to backfire and some little girl could do it with ease - OUFH SORRY TO THE BITCHES WHO JUST GOT EXPLODED

i understand why the bald men are sweaty and exhausted looking

SO WHY DO THEY WANT TO GET IN THERE SO BAD!!!!! OH THIS IS THE RUSSIAN PLOT PART YEAHHH

is this like ....... wanting to win the coldwar type shit??? because we're past the space race and into the 80s.... (<- guy who doesnt know much about this specific subject of history tbh)

EL LOOKS SO GOOD - fucking hate seeing them kiss im so sorry it makes me so uncomfortable - FEELING REAL HOPPER THOUGH LIKE ITS ICKY but also damn KING GIVE UR KID SPACE

i fucking LOVE THE shift in colours in this season !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LIKE ITS SO BRIGHT I LOVE IT!!!! AND STEVEEEE!!!!!! AND I FINALLY GET TO MEET ROBIN!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh this movie is foreshadowing some shit i can feel it. labesq SHIT!!!!!!! AND THEN THE POWER GOING OUT!!!!!!!!!!! this means things my brain is too small to make proper connections

OH SHIT LITTLE ME!!!!!!!

YEAH SEE Lost smoke monster !!!!! somethings thers i just know it

"im not gonna fall in love" "ok"

JOYCE MY BELOVED

booOOOOOBBBBBBBB!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DUSTIIINNNNNNNNNN

<- guy whose just REALLY EXCITED TO SEE THEIR FAV LITTLE MAN

GIRLIES WHO ARE WE LOOKING COOL FOR IM -

thought it waas gonna be gay forgot Billy existed

HOPPER IS ACTUALLY A FUCKING INCEL IM CRYING ITS BEEN LIKE 20 MINUTIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! KING OH MY GOD SHUT UP rooted for you but nah youve really always been like this

A Heart to Heart? What is that? <- man whose never been shown compassion???? WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DONT KNOW WHAT THAT IS shut up

ngl tho me n hopper shaking hands how to you approach people about things without people helping you write shit out word for word

this entire board roOM REMINDS ME OF THE BEGINNING OF SEASON 2 OF FARGO - but she a woman TYPE SHIT AKSHJD

Nancy is. trying so HARD and girl i am so sorry

HIS GIRLFRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND THE WAY HE TALKS ABOUT HER <3333

Steve. i got nothing to add he just. wow

ROBIN I LOVE HER I L OVE THE PLATONIC RELATIONSHIPS ON THIS SHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!

Its romantic <- jealousy

Its gross <- somehow not jealousy tho sorry

Its bullshit <- jealousy

BRO ARE HE LLO WHAT PIED PIPER SHIT IS HAPPENING???? CRYING AT ALL THE LITTLE CGI GUYS LOOK AT THEM ALL!!!! THEY ALL HAVE LITTLE WHITE FEET THO???? THOSE ARE. exploding. theyre exploding. :(

ENOUGH OF HIM I DONT WANT TO SEE HIM I WANT TO SKIP THROUGH HIS MOMENTS I ACTUALLY HATE HIM SO FUCKING MUCH IM IN. PAIN. LIKE. OU GH. THE. SECOND HAND EMBARASSMENT IS? PAINFUL I HATE THIS I HATE THIS I HATE THIS I HATE HIM I HATE HIM IHATE HIM PHYSICALLY GAGGING

LUCAS AND MAX mAKE me so happy and MAx is still transmasc coded in my heaRTTTTT

DUSTIN BABY IM SO SORRY YOURE HAVING A MY CANADIAN GF MOMENT BUTSHES MORMON AND FROM UTAH

SHOWING MomEnts of Joyce being so happy and gENUINELY IN LOVE WITH BOB JUST HURTS SO MUCH HE WAS SO FUCKING GOOD. RAGE RAGE RAGE RAGE RAGE RAGE RAGE

oh now we have shit with MAGNETS and the spaceship space race cold war babbeyyyy

DISEASE RATS!!!!!!!

HOPPER ASHING ON HIS FACE KING????? OW?????????????????????

This is so uncomfortable bro my dad did this to me once and it was horrifically misguided on his part and he was making some wild ass assumptions about my relationship with certain people and oUGADHADKAJSHAKSJH this isthe season of second hand embarassment and its PAINFUL

MIKE IS JUST MA KING IT WORSE PLEASE SHUT UP I OH MY GOD OH MY GOD I KEEP PAUSING IT BC I CANT HANDLE THIS

HOPPER H ELLO ????

THIS IS

BRO THIS fucking entire season is gonna be so fucking painfULLLL STOP STOP STOP like the. BROOOOO stop stop stop whose got a link to a breakdown of the family dynamics between everyone and how fucked up everyone is i cant even put thi sinto words im just losing my mind hopethis makes sense

SORRY DUSTIN I !!! GOD. PICKING UP RUSSIAN SHIT INSTEAD OF HIS GF SORRY

i literally cant handle this weird Billy fucking Milfs arc and i cant even begin to stress how much i fucking hate it and him. I have literally no room in my heart for that piece of shit

im SORRY to KaREN WHEELER THOUGH LIKE DAMN GIRL your mariage is in shambles and you really want to be fucked by THIS GUY ?

HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IDIOT FUCKING GET ATTACKED BY FERAL DISEASED RATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CALLING ALL RATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

KILL!!!!!!!!!!!!

i know he fucking dies but iM GONAN LOSE MY MIND DOES HE GET FUCKIGN KILLED BY STOPP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP THIS IS SO FUC NNY YEAHH HYEAHHH BABEY FUCKING GET HIS ASSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE

#bo posting #stranger things #st #live blogging #AHHH OEADSKJH FUCKING EAH BABEY YEAH YEAH YEAH

17 notes · View notes

outpost51 · 1 year

Text

The 51 Post

This week sucked a whole lot actually (I started this draft on Tuesday, and I haven't touched it until 5pm Sunday) but I read a lot of pretty good shit so I think it balances.

Contents:

Things You Might Have Missed

This Week's Jams

WIP Breakdowns

From the Skwad

Around the 'Blr

Things You Might Have Missed

get on my taglists for WIP updates, 51 post, tag games, and ask events!

BRHP: Chapter 15 posted; Talus is having a Bad Time.

I stabbed Adrien real good

BRHP: Chapter 16 posted; baby's first fight pit, and a family secret is revealed.

Not new, but I dug up Adrift and The Sky, The Stars, and Me so enjoy the spooky space shorts.

See more entries for SSSC 006 below, mine is here: i'll take everything.

Growing Pains: the 6th entry into the Lighthouse in the Fog shorts; our new Keeper is definitely adjusting so well to her new life.

I'm starting to release chapters of Unlikely Adventures on tumblr now!

This Week's Jams

stargazing || power-haus, solarays [spotify/youtube]

up down || boy epic [spotify/youtube]

gasoline || chymes [spotify/youtube]

dangerous || new medicine [spotify/youtube]

she went that way || missy [spotify/youtube]

illuminated || hurts [spotify/youtube]

WIP Breakdowns

Between a Rock and a Hard Place

HI YOU GET TO MEET KADMOS IN CHAPTER 17 AND [SPOILERS] IN CHAPTER 18 I'M REALLY EXCITED

Unlikely Adventures of Bitchface and Go F*ck Yourself

zadimus needs to stop it. that is all

Blinding Neon, Shades of Grey

you know what's fun to write? drug/dream sequences. you know what's even more fun? writing one for a detective in a flashy nightclub with murder on her mind

Stellar Parallax

saren is about to go do a Very Kill and jaen is So Excited About It. also wrex. but mostly violence

Lighthouse in the Fog

7th short will be coming out some time tonight, @thetrashbagswasteland picked some yummy prompt words

In the Works

y'all 🥺💕 thank you i needed a bunch of open-ended prompts to get the brain noodles out so i can hopefully not burn out on the main wips. i've still got the same backlog otherwise lmao

From the Skwad

IMPORTANT @fenrir-kin fell prey to the hellsite shenaniganuke, and is currently @vikingfenharel until it (hopefully) gets sorted.

Surprise Challenge 006 wrapped up with (mine's above): Just Take My Hand by @sparatus, Expanding the Vocabulary by @teamdilf, and The Storm Between Us by @thetrashbagswasteland

@equusgirl is going bananas with Sapphic Summer: i know with me, you'll get a little bit addicted, One Night, and will my hands ever be clean?

@sparatus also dropped chapter 1 & chapter 2 of Make Less the Depth of Grief and were it not for the laws of this land, i would have strangled him (affectionate) but also this tasty oneshot of Nautilea being so hot

@teamdilf HOW. New chapter of Alice's Adventures in Andromeda, another chapter of The In-Laws and the Grandparents, and another chapter in A Man of Many Talents. I'm calling witchcraft

@asher-orion-writes gave us this lovely oneshot set in Cardinal Sins and I'm??? yes

@princess-prawn dropped a new chapter of Next of Kin YESSS

@regalbois is writing his mlm war stories again and i'm vibrating please go read The Earth Abides

@commander-krios wrote more Dash/Leo (thank u for my life) and New Beginnings (thank u for TWO life wow)

Around the 'Blr

Art Claims are still going on for WIP Big Bang!!

@writernopal dropped character profiles for Magdalene and Sartor so this is your hint to get on the taglist for AASOAF 3

@tabswrites posted chapter 3 of Silver Sentinels and gave me life thank you, more please

@vacantgodling wrote this short for Lukewarm Rejection and we have no choice but to stan Trisha

@liv-is blessed writeblr with this snippet from Demigods i am eating it up

@void-botanist gave us this short for Another Ocean's Moon with LORE hidden in the tags hello

have you SEEN The Poster by @artdecosupernova-writing omg

@elshells dropped chapter 12 of Agent Ace YES congrats on the timeline choreography, bud!

wake up babes new Nameless Song short just dropped from @blind-the-winds

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

Outpost Updates Taglist: @tabswrites @writernopal @freedominique @asher-orion-writes @liv-is @starknstarwars @captain-kraken

Ask to +/- in the tags, replies, DMs, or HERE!

#my fic #outpost updates #if i missed you throw something in my inbox or tag me!!#no but seriously i am so blessed to be surrounded by such great people who are passionate about their works #it has been a very busy very fucked up week for my mental health and emotional wellbeing

21 notes · View notes

weed-ols · 2 months

Text

Reviewing Every UKISS Release: By Unpopular Demand ~ NEVERLAND

This release, by no exaggeration, permanently altered the direction of my life. This album is just hit after hit, and oscillates between adrenaline rush and sobbing loudly from the abrupt mood swings between songs, and I wouldn't have had it any other way.

And yeah, this was supposed to be posted months ago but when I was grabbing screenshots, the post glitched and never saved and I rage quit writing this, but I'm back now!

NEVERLAND - 2nd Studio Album | 2011.09.01

This was so big when it came out, like I think if you were an international fan of K-pop at the time, you'd 100% know this song. Like there were download links for it everywhere, dance covers, fan uploads, it was crazy. We were so sure they were going to get their first music show win, but in classic UKISS fashion, they overlapped with another titanic comeback and had to settle for second.

So there was a little docuseries about them in 2011, when exactly it took place, I'm not entirely sure, but I'm fairly certain it was during NEVERLAND promotions. It was technically about all of the members, and the work that goes into being an idol. Some funny bits I remember about it -

Kevin accidentally stomping on Soohyun's foot during practice

Worrying about their future because groups that don't win a music show in their first 3 years usually disband (lol we're in the big old year 2024 now)

Dongho eating cake in the bathroom like a gremlin

Eli's alleged bachelor pad

I actually don't remember if this was in this documentary or from something else, but Hoon saying Kevin was the meanest to him when he first joined because he would tease him over not knowing how to dance

About the actual album now, I think that this, like Bran New Kiss, is another real turning point for them. We get a good mix of dance songs and more emotional songs, we have their first unit songs, and first real self-written song (albeit just lyrical composition with some help, but still baby steps!!)

Intro | YouTube Music 7.1k | Spotify 31k

It's 56 seconds long and basically a NEVERLAND remix

What is there to review?

7.5/10 I don't hate it though

NEVERLAND (Audio) | YouTube Music 26M | Spotify 2.5M

This went triple platinum in my bedroom I was so in love with this song (still am a bit)

One of the few songs where everyone is an active and roughly equal participant

Soohyun, Kevin, and Dongho get a bit more though but that's fine

"Money love fashion fame and all that's in between" what a banger line from Eli for once I'm not laughing at him

"And we stay forever young" Dongho, the most babyfaced baby to ever baby says

"Ggeuteun eobseo never end/Yeogin Neverland" part of the chorus? Batshit so good I love it

Some interesting vocal/rapper combos - Kevin/Kiseop/Eli; Hoon/AJ/Dongho; AJ/Kevin/Kiseop; Hoon/Eli/Kiseop/Dongho

Chorus is basically Kevin/Soohyun + Hoon for the second one

It's not very deep, but I am a sucker for the eternal youth and hedonism themes

Makes a fun dance track just slightly dark, like we're having fun at the club but also a little scared

I also like that while the vocals have clearly been processed for stylistic purposes, you can still really hear the differences in their voices, and the power in Soohyun and Kevin

9.5/10 it's just so iconic

NEVERLAND (MV) | Official upload 23M

Just realized it's been years since I've actually properly watched this MV but good god if it isn't permanently burnt into my brain

I have so many questions about who this mysterious DJ is and his purpose

Is he the reason they're seemingly trapped in this wintry apocalyptic-esque space? Is he why the party never stops? Is he even human?

Iconique this was my laptop's wallpaper for like a good year in middle school (which is a super long time)

These tinsel tops are both questionable and perfect, love the way the fabric and fringes move

This was like peak male fashion in 2011 where copious amounts of guyliner can give untold confidence

Like guyliner so thick it removes the need for eyeshadow

That's deadass gotta be like an entire bottle of liquid liner right there

Also I really like that hair colour on him

Peak male hairstyle in 2011

Like I think this was almost universal where if a guy in middle/high school had this haircut, he was automatically the coolest guy

Or in my experience, every Asian guy had either this hair, a buzzcut, or a bowlcut, those were the only hairstyles from like 2008-2012

Not the statement necklace

OH BABY WE'RE BACK IN THE ABANDONED WAREHOUSE

This is honestly one of my favourite parts

Also someone please let them out of the freezer the floor is cold and hard

FREE HIM

Love the obligatory smoulder and brood shots of the members so angsty for no reason

I like to think that this ice sculpture actually ate up majority of the budget along with the plethora of arts and crafts baubles attached to their outfits and eyeliner

Love love love this bit of choreo

I was so obsessed with this water set as a kid and still am

So obviously there isn't much to talk about the MV since it's basically a bunch of dance videos in different sets spliced with some brooding solo shots and smouldering group shots

But you know what? It works the song has enough going on that if the MV had more it would feel like too much

The sets are standard vaguely apocalyptic wastelands, and I really like the blue snowy one and the orange water one in particular

Three outfits -- the black tanks with the silver mesh/tinsel loose tank over; the black short-sleeve/sleeveless tops with metallic accents, and the white outfits at the end, and they all look good still and in motion

The hairstyles were all fine, with Kevin and Kiseop really embodying Peak 2011 Male Fashion, and Dongho with the most bowlcut to ever bowl

9/10 so iconic so good so 2011

NEVERLAND (Stages) | Highest viewed 765k (Music Core)

I was so obsessed with this when it came out like how could I not? Also incredible that they've brought The Box, which was not one of the sets used for the MV, to the music show absolutely incredible

It's like they gotta hit all the second gen tropes they can

Can't tell if I love or hate this motion sickness-inducing camera work

I can't take this part seriously anymore because I keep thinking about that charades game they played in Japan where they all mocked Kevin for this

The lines his arms make are very nice though, sharp and straight

That hair is ahead of its time

Another personal favourite part of the dance

Love that the smaller group work

This is more on the camera, but those background dancers integrated in seamlessly

Also love that everyone gets a chance to be centre I think that's really cute and everyone gets some time to shine

RIP to this arm pumping movement that disappears in like 2012 and the fact that AJ kept doing this last year

This part is so good

Everyone crowding around Soohyun while he belts, the turns, so good

Kinda like he's sucking up their energy to sustain his singing lol

Firstly, outfits

Love that they're all wearing the same basic black vest and pants, and have their own gold accents for the vests. Super simple but interesting to look at, moves very nicely

Nobody has hair crimes against humanity, just the standard 2011 hairstyles

Singing-wise, oh this was absolutely live and it's kind of insane they did all of this?

Like yeah of course there's the backtrack, but it's obvious when they're singing live versus letting the backtrack take over for the moment

I completely get why they were constantly talking about having to improve their health and fitness for this comeback because wow they sound really clean, both the vocal and rap lines

Also get why they said this was dangerous for their health, I remember trying to learn the dance and it was hard. I can't imagine having to train the dance and sing cleanly like that

On the topic of singing while dancing and the fitness and skill required for it, I think the NEVERLAND choreo is really interesting in that regard

There's a lot of up and down movement, lots of arm and footwork, but the torso stays relatively intact

Not static, but very shoulders-ribs-hips connected, and a lot of the interesting shapes and lines in the dance are mostly illusions created from arm, leg, and head placements

Which makes sense because while I don't sing, I'd imagine that keeping the torso straight and connected would help with maximizing airflow

Overall, they all did great. Everyone got their little moments to shine, though of course Soohyun shone the most, and nobody was super eyecatching, which is really good for this kind of dance

10/10 this is definitely one of those songs where the live stages are just insane to watch (*cough cough* SBS Chuseok water stage *cough cough*

Anyway, lookbook time

These feathered monstrosities with the rhinestoned tops

I swear they brought it up during UKISS On The Block when they were bemoaning second gen fashion

I think I see the vision of drawing attention to the upper body and arm lines, but it just makes their shoulders look perma-hunched

Love the skinny jeans, combat boots, and black jacket look

The individualized jackets with gold embellishments never misses

The dangly bits really help draw attention in a good way without ruining the overall lines

The white ensemble is nice, cuts a clean silhouette

But I don't like that Kevin and Hoon have theirs unbuttoned I get why, but I think if some of the others were also unbuttoned, or if they just had a different cut it would look better

The flopping vest is just a bit weird

So these outfits are from a 2011.12.30 special performance

Love love love it why did they tease a vampire concept like this if they weren't ever going to do it

Also really love reusing these vests with white skinny jeans, it's such a clean look

Shiny silver trashbag vests and blazers with white jeans

Not loving the cut of the blazers though I do think vests are probably the way to go for the dance

I do love these blazers though the slimmer-cut is definitely more flattering

Baby Don't Cry | YouTube Music 661k | Spotify 250k

I genuinely think this could've been a title track of its own it's so good

Another staple of my tween years - it's sad and angsty and moody

I like how the song song builds by letting all these sweet-toned singers do the first half before the second half is basically dominated by Soohyun and AJ + Kevin backing

Those first two verses honestly sound so pretty, and fit very well considering it's just them being sad boys

Second half is being slightly angry and petty, so of course Soohyun fits it perfectly

It's a genre-crossing "baby I love you please come back" to "baby you broke up with me :(" to "I'm gonna fight this other dude and I hope you become miserable >:c"

So so petty "I'm going to wish for your unhappiness"

Also went triple platinum in my bedroom

9.75/10 I would've given it a 9/10 for the first two verses alone they were that good

SOMEDAY (audio) | YouTube Music 1.5M | Spotify 336k

I'm fairly certain this is their first real slow song?

This was and still is such a comfort song

I love that it's a weepy song, not because it's sad in any way, but just because it's literally a comfort song

Another great collaborative effort for the first half before letting Soohyun and Kevin take the second half

Kinda surprised Hoon doesn't have more individual lines

Again, NH was kinda cooking by accident when they put them together like their voices all work so well

It's a shame we don't get to hear Dongho sing more I like his voice

The chorus is single-handedly responsible for getting me through middle school

10+ years later I still get a bit misty-eyed from this sometimes

8.5/10 I think it's a great foray into softer and more emotional songs, not their best especially compared to their JP ones, but a fantastic first go

SOMEDAY (stages) | Highest viewed 130k (Fan upload)

I don't remember them promoting this song that much yet there's so many stages?

I remember this Wave Kpop one but not the others

There's not much to really talk about since it's just singing, but it is crazy to hear Eli sing here versus even just a couple years later like he improved a lot

Super funny when Dongho sings his part and when Kevin's harmonization comes in, you completely lose Dongho's voice lol

These outfits are fine, simple, but gets the job done

Also lol Kevin wearing full smokey eye makeup here

Ooh these outfits are cozy, love the earthy palette

But also peak preppy 2011

Hoon in a full winter jacket is super funny though like everyone else is just dressed for autumn

More cozy fits, but this time in black/white/grey

Lol Dongho's little newsie cap

And Kevin's poncho like can we talk about how in ponchos were in 2011-2012?

They also sound super on in this performance. Probably the best version of the Dongho-Kevin bit I've heard

You can also pick out all the others singing during the chorus, which is pretty rare

Black jackets over white shirts with white pants, hard to go wrong

The blazers over graphic tees was so in at the time

Oh I love this very cohesive look

I don't love the jackets but the aesthetic is so consistent I don't hate it?

Different looks but very similar, very well done

Take Me Away | YouTube Music 1.3M | Spotify 272k

The goddamn faint emergency siren is literally both the worst and best part of this song because it adds ambience, but I hate the possible implications of it

Hoon/Kevin duet?!?!?! The first and last they literally just did this one song together and never again

It's like they knew this couldn't be topped and just had to pack it up

Love that every part of this song is so simple and understated so that their sweet and slightly teary voices can shine love that for them

Lyrics are hella depressing, which is why I actually don't have this on a lot of playlists because I can and will cry

I think the lives of this are way better (unsurprisingly) they really hit you with the full brunt of everything

8.5/10 simple, depressing, and understated for all the right reasons

ON THE Floor | YouTube Music 246k | Spotify 166k

I love that that's literally the official title like why is it capitalized like this

So we're just gonna completely change the mood with a fun dance song now

Soohyun/Kevin duet featuring AJ, Hoon, and Kiseop in roughly equal parts

Kiseop gets a whole verse to himself?!?!

Really is just a party song with a dash of "girl we in love"

8/10 it's a fun song that does its job, it's just not a standout in any way

Love Of A Friend | YouTube Music 434k | Spotify 68k

Back to slow and emotional again

This song doubles as both a friendzone anthem and a situationship anthem like what do you mean "we're not friends, we're not lovers"??

Another song where everyone gets a little part I love it

Opening with Soohyun/Hoon/Kevin? Goated I love the slowly increasing sweetness

Third verse with the entire vocal line stuffed in there? Incredible

I also think that verse is just so sweet lyrically

It's such a sappy love song it almost feels out of place in their KR discography like this would 100% work for a JP release

I think they all sing the chorus? Hard to tell because Soohyun and Kevin are always loud as hell and drown everyone else out, but I can hear Hoon and AJ pretty clearly at times

The bridge confuses me greatly because Soohyun clearly sings the second line, but the first line sounds like it's split between Hoon and Kiseop

I wish there was a live of this so I could confirm it

Why is there no live for this??? A travesty I say an absolute travesty

The last chorus though? Incredible

Soohyun belting his little heart out like rent's due, Kevin fighting for attention, and AJ randomly busting through

10/10 I can't even put into words how much I love this song it's one of their best slow songs

Story of April | YouTube Music 68k | Spotify 43k

Soohyun landing their first collabotration with a female artist good for him

It's a weepy love song, which is basically his forte

I think it's nice, not my favourite, but I do like their voices together

7.75/10 I don't have much else to add, but something about the song makes me feel like it's missing something?

Obsession | YouTube Music 692k | Spotify 192k

2SEOP 2SEOP 2SEOP

The chokehold this had me in was insane

I think this was one of the most listened-to song on my iPod throughout all of middle school and part of high school

I was so not normal about this song and I'm still not how could I be when I was so completely in love with the both of them

And it's so cute they cowrote this

"Love which is effable" AJ that was such a banger

Remember when they performed this for their 2012 tour and when AJ sings "tears are falling down" he just starts tenderly carressing Kiseop's cheek???

I really do like their voices paired together

Also does anyone remember if this came out before AJ's whole obsessive lover bit started or was it after, because either way I'm impressed he stuck to it at least until 2014

Like I'm sorry but that one Q&A game they played where the others were all like "being clingy/having a clingy lover is too bothersome :/" while AJ is just stomping his foot and shouting "love equals obsession!!" is soooo funny to me

Anyway when are we getting our Siyoon/Kiseop-produced UKISS album?? Like the chances of this actually happening now are significantly higher than when this idea was first floated

9/10 literally altered my brain chemistry

TOP THAT | YouTube Music 294k | Spotify 110k

Okay so now we're back to Bad Boy™ UKISS with another arrogant dance track

And the autotune is back babyyy

That persistent 'lalala' synth is both super annoying and infuriatingly catchy

Also lowkey kinda anxiety-inducing

So this is basically Soohyun's song since he's basically singing like half of it himself

AJ and Kevin get the next most lines, with AJ getting a whole rap to himself and Kevin coming and going throughout the entire song

Hoon, Dongho, Eli, and Kiseop are fighting for scraps lol

Honestly I don't remember feeling like AJ ever got so many parts, but this journey is proving me otherwise

Aggressively arrogant song

So I think that this is an angry post-breakup song where they're bitching at their ex?

7.5/10 I don't hate it, but the synth sound is so annoying. Otherwise, very normal uwukiss song

Tell Me Y | YouTube Music 88k | Spotify 81k

Rap line song??? Kinda sorta it's just Dongho and Eli with Swin PD doing the singing

Surprisingly slow and mellow song for what is ostensibly the rap line song

If you guessed this song is another "baby I miss you please come back" song, you'd be right

A very even three-person collaboration everyone got lines yay

I really like the instrumentation for this song, very chill and easy to listen to

8/10 I feel like I always forget about this song when I make playlists it's really nice

Let's Meet Again | YouTube Music 17k | Spotify 9.4k

Group project with Paran to cover a Paran song lol

Thank you Eli for the elephant impression, truly don't know what we'd do without you

So yeah it starts with a long group chat for the first few minutes while the 9 of them are stuffed in that recording booth

By the way, there's a making of album video of this and it's super adorable

The Paran guys are just teasing and babying Soohyun like that's exactly what he deserves

It's a bit difficult to sort through the voices because I'm not familiar with Paran, but it sounds mostly like the vocal line + the Paran guys

I think it's Paran who starts off, followed by Hoon and Kevin, then the vocal troika dominating the first chorus

Second verse sounds like Eli, who sounds very nice, followed by an equally nice Kiseop, then AJ, then the second chorus that's dominated by AJ and Kevin

Then SooHoon helping build into the very pretty last chorus that's mostly the Paran guys + Soohyun

I just kind of wish there was something else to help resolve the ending since it just kinda comes down, but the payoff doesn't feel super satisfying?

It's very pretty I love the instrumentation and how well it builds

You know, I've always wondered where AJ got his singing style from, like it's super distinct compared to the others, and he must have learnt/mimicked it from his Paran bros 🥺

It's such a mushy 'let's meet again' type song I love it

God I'd kill to hear a proper live of this done it'd be so good

8.75/10 god the buildup is so good and I love vocal-heavy songs

So yeah, after a very long time, I'm finally done with NEVERLAND, and we're entering their JP era next, yay!

Not a fun fact, but just a general observation, but this whole 2011-2014 period is so insane to me? Like they basically work nonstop for those 3 years doing constant promotions in Korea and Japan, international tours/concerts, all while members are coming and going? Honestly more surprised they didn't all crash and burn, considering how middling the returns were, but I guess that's why they're all batshit

#ukiss #uwukiss #have i said i love them? i love them a very normal amount #i'd love to do a goated ukiss playlist but neither spotify nor yt music have their whole catalogues :/

3 notes · View notes

whumpingisfun · 7 months

Note

What draws you to the genre? What is it about writing whump that appeals to you?

(Serious question btw, cause I love it to. 😁)

Sorry I saw this and then my brain got distracted and deleted the open mental tab!

*coughs*

ANyway--

I've always been drawn to violent and angsty 'what if' scenarios, even before i really knew what whump was! One of my first major fixations that was super whumpy was a conflict between Kurama and his past ex-thief partner in Yu Yu Hakusho. There was a really dark fic that posited what if Kurama had been chased down and captured by said ex and it lit my brain up like 'wow!' And then I got older, read Brandon Sanderson's Mistborn trillogy and went "holy shit you can have a bad ending?? Heroes can FAIL???" - which was right before everyone jumped on the Ultra Dark Fantasy bandwagon with all the edgy glory that was implied and flooded the market.

And then I wrote my first torture scene because I like my villains to be hardcore and to go through with their threats! (My bestie's look of horror was fantastic when I read it to her on video chat lol)

And then I was first kinda introduced to whump through the BBC Merlin fandom. Boy we enjoyed beating the poor warlock up. All the angst, yummy!

It took me a long while to actually join the whump community though. I joined in a lower part of my life where I'd lost friends for loving my darker side of stories and incompatible access needs. I joined a whump server, dove into exploring the terms on tumblr, made a bunch of friends and now I'm here! WOw that's a lot of rambling for just one of the questions haha oops.

Anyways, what really appeals to me about whump is the catharsis and exploration of humanity's darker sides. The emotional fallout of those darker spaces. I really like the angst haha it just really appeals to me, even if i do enjoy a good nursing back to health every so often (even if I personally suck at that writing wise because it makes my brain go blank from a lack of ideas and knowledge)

I really like the kind of rising action of the violence, and then the catharis of the emotional and physical fallout from that action. That surge of fear and having a character squirm to the malicious delight of a whumper.

I've also just always been kinda drawn to the power dynamic, I think. There's some really fun interesting power plays that happen in whump that are interesting.

#whump community #why I like whump

3 notes · View notes

steppenwolfofslytherinhouse · 9 months

Text

Rebirth

Can a person with Heavenly Restriction really die?

Toji x reader (eventually lol)

Warnings:none for this part?

notes: reader has a name (I always give my characters names idk y/n just doesn't fit),AU kind of?,slow burn if I get to actually writing this whole thing,basically an attempt to get back into writing,my brain is rotting.

(if there should be any more notes/warnings,pls let me know!)

-We need to get our hands on that book asap.

-You actually think...

-I don't think anything,Jason,the problem is I don't know.None of us do.So we need to he digging under every possible stone.

Toji kept quiet for now,listening to this exchange.

He thought to himself once again how...normal both of them were taking it.Like your regular issue at work or something.Hey,photocopier broke again.Yeah,I got it.

There was nothing regular about this situation.

...Not in the least.

It's been over a week now that Toji showed up uninvited at their-well,her,he supposed-apartment.And "showed up uninvited" was putting it very,very mildly.

He was dead.He KNEW he had died.Twice.He remembered the second time as clearly as the first.No question about it,he was dead dead.And yet somehow he doubted this was his afterlife.

-...Toji?How about it?

He realized he'd been spacing out as her voice brought him back.Her piercing light-brown eyes were studying his face.Always studying.Like she was trying to X-ray his mind.Somehow,he didn't find it disconcerting.Not anymore.

-Sorry, what was that?

-I was asking if any of those,um...jujutsu sorcerers I believe you said?,-she watched him nod,then went on.-Is it possible any of them possess the power to do this to you?Throw you all the way to another universe?,-her voice was calm.As it always seemed to be.

Toji took a moment to think about it carefully.Nothing was impossible,he assumed.The question then begged itself who and WHY would they do it.Toji had manu enemies,true,but where was the vengeance in basically giving him another life in another world?It made no sense.Especially considering this world seemed to have neither jujutsu sorcerers nor Curses at all.

Although...it didn't lack its own "perks".

He'd learned Jason was a vampire barely a day into his new life here.A vampire.He was skeptical at first but there was something about Jason so...visibly non-human that anyone with sharp eyes and senses would start asking questions.

Then there was her.Airin.

At a first glance,she seemed like a regular human.And physically,she was.It was her personality that sometimes left one speechless and bewildered.

Ten minutes into discovering an unknown man in her living room,she was asking him if he remembered where he was when he died.She asked him what year did he think it was,listened to his answer,then reported calmly to him that he had skipped almost twenty years ahead.The following day was the day he saw most of her.After that,she was barely around or if she was,her nose was constantly buried in this or that book.

No,she was not avoiding him.She simply didn't let anything disrupt her routine.

On the contrary, Jason seemed to be around a lot.He,too was more often than not reading,searching,scribbling something away.After a lengthy discussion between him and Airin (Toji was also present,of course,but mostly just listening and taking in every piece of information he could),Jason switched his focus on researching travel between universes,after-death experiences and such.

- Unprecedented,-Airin was saying,her arms folded and her eyes distant.-Jason and I had our share of encounters with...supernatural phenomena,but never once have we heard of anyone travelling between universes.Using death as a transportation,no less,-she gave a dry chuckle.

-The reincarnation theories?,-Jason suggested,bringing in cups of coffee for himself and Toji.Airin was probably on her tenth cup already.

-Very questionable possibility.Your old body doesn't reincarnate with you,-Airin mused.She has read tons on the subject,but it never seemed quite enough to satisfy her curiosity.

So everyone being in a bit of a stump,Airin had asked Toji if he wanted to stick around.They had an extra futon in Jason's room,they'd get him some change of clothes and anything he needed.It was almost December and even here,in central Japan,it was bound to get colder soon.He could stay while they tried to figure out what the hell happened exactly and maybe find a way to help.Airin reported all of this casually-one'd think she was a hotel manager,handing him the room key and wishing him a pleasant stay.

It didn't take Toji long to consider all of his limited options.He was dead but alive,in a time he didn't know,still in Japan but in a different part of it and,oh yeah,in a different fucking universe.

He needed time to regroup.Whether these people actually knew what they were doing or not,whether they could really help him remained to be seen.

He also decided to spend this time observing and studying them.

Jason presented himself as an easier case at first.He was pleasantly chatty if the occasion called for it;he seemed like an open book.It was almost impossible to deduce what his relationship with Airin was at first-they had no visible family resemblance,bickered like an old married couple at times,but slept in different rooms.Friends?Distant relatives?At that time,it was only a couple of days since his "rebirth" so Toji didn't ask any personal questions that had no immediate connection to his case.But neither Airin nor Jason seemed to have any walls built against him;quite the contrary,any questions he might have had,they'd answer.So it was almost impossible not to grow comfortable around them.Toji judged that if he wanted to learn more about Airin,though,getting Jason to talk was probably his best chance.

Of course,he could also learn a few things simply by studying his surroundings.One day,when Airin was at work and Jason was out as well,Toji took his time to take a little tour.

To be fair, there was not much to tour in the first place.Airin's home was a typical Japanese studio apartment in a nice,quiet neighborhood.This meant there was only one fairly spacious room-living room/bedroom and Jason's room/extra library was down a narrow flight of stairs...in the closet.

-Yeah,I'd keep that info away from the landlord's ears,-Airin commented when she first saw Toji's reaction.Jason snorted.-He doesn't need to know we have a vampire freeloading in a secret basement that's not supposed to be there in the first place.

-Hey!

-What?You don't pay rent,do you?

-I do...tasks!Around the house!

-Drinking my coffee and occasional grocery trips don't count.Take it up to HR.Or...VR in your case,since you're not human.

The bickering was cut short as Airin,of course,had to go.

Finally left all alone (just how much did she trust him?),Toji walked around the room,first noting the obvious-bookshelf that took almost an entire wall,a desk with two chairs,kotatsu positioned comfortably in the middle of the room,an electric piano in one corner and two guitars in another.And books,books everywhere,including floor and windowpane.All of this told him the woman had tons of hobbies but not much of her personality in depth.

Then he walked back to the desk and studied the pictures and drawings covering the wall above.

First thing that caught his eye was a big poster consisting of many small photos,like q collage.All of the pictures were with little kids, kindergarteners from the looks of it.Judging from the most obvious-that she lived alone (forgetting Jason for a moment) and looked awfully young-certainly these were not her kids.Which begged the conclusion that Airin was probably a teacher.Further inspection of the wall only strengthened this opinion in Toji's mind-there were almost a dozen drawings of all sizes,some of them sporting writings like:"To Airin","Happy birthday,Miss Airin" and so on.Other photos included two or three of the same people,probably Airin's friends.

Doesn't look like there are any pictures of family,Toji mused,wrapping up his inspection and taking a seat at the kotatsu.He also took a moment to marvel that his initial impression of her somehow didn't go with an image of a teacher at all.A kids' teacher at that.

Later that day,after Airin came back from work,Jason had also returned from his mystery trip.

-I went to the library,-he reported.-....a far away one,-he added for what Toji thought was purely dramatic purposes.-I scoured their sections on time travel,universe travel,basically everything.Brought back some books for research purposes...

-Stole them,huh?,-Airin chimed in,giving Jason a judgy stare.-How low you have fallen.

-I'll take them back!,-Jason fumed instantly,then rolled his eyes.-...Maybe.

-Hard emphasis on "maybe".

-Anyway,-Jason pushed on.-From what I gathered by scanning them all quickly...wouldn't get my hopes up.

-Way to encourage the audience,mate,-Airin snorted,finally taking a seat.She has been busily unpacking her work stuff,doing ten things at a time,as usual.-What if the man has a family to get back to?,-her eyes switched from Jason to Toji so fast that the latter was caught by surprise.He thought this was a first in both his life AND death.

-Do you have a family waiting for you?Someone you'd want to get back to?,-there it was.The X-ray gaze.This was probably the first personal question she's asked him in over a week that he's been here.That was another slightly puzzling thing about Airin-she didn't pry.She only ever asked the necessary questions-what was the last thing he remembered,how his body felt (considering he was dead) and so on.

He realized they were both expecting an answer.He took a moment to think and pick his words carefully.

-...Not really,no.There's...no one,-there was his son,but he was safely taken care of.He didn't need Toji back in his life.

He watched Airin and Jason exchange knowing looks.

-What?Did I make an impression of a family man?,-Toji asked both of them dryly,but his eyes stayed glued to Airin's.She gave a curt,humorless chuckle.

-Not at all.But impressions based solely on one's appearance can be rather misleading,-her eyes were on him as well.He couldn't help but think she left part of her thoughts unsaid.

-I don't know,your father looked every bit as evil as he was,-Jason shrugged casually.Toji's mind was instantly focused on every word.

-And yet you spent decades playing his lackey,-dark sparks of amusement danced in Airin's eyes.Jason opened his mouth to reply,thought better of it and closed it again.There was a pause.

-You two sure bicker like family,-Toji put in before they could change the topic.-Or an old married couple.

Airin snorted.Even Jason couldn't help but grin in amusement.

-You got us there,-Airin raised her hands as if giving up.-Little brother here had a change of heart when my father decided sacrificing one of his daughters would be a fun way to gain some more power.

Toji blinked at them,speechless for a moment.Meanwhile,Jason was fuming again.

-I'm older than you.

-Not in your human years,you're not,-Airin shut him down dryly,then returned her attention to Toji.-I know it probably sounds like...a lot of bullshit.Sometimes I can hardly believe it myself.

She didn't look emotional at all.It was like she was reading someone else's biography and gasping at appropriate places.Jason,misjudging Toji's silence for bewilderment,quickly stepped in.

-We're not technically...siblings,of course.Relatives almost 200 years apart.So we usually go with half-brother story for convenience's sake,-Jason explained.

Toji nodded absentmindedly,trying to absorb all of this information.

-Your father tried to kill you?,-the words left his mouth before he could stop himself.

-Oh,not me.My sister.My actual sister,-she gave Jason a cheeky look and he rolled his eyes.-Wanted to power me up,apparently,-she shrugged.-Then probably use me too for his own purposes,who knows.

-Power you up?How?

-Magic,-she replied simply.-My father dabbled in a lot of shady stuff.Probably explains how he stayed alive for a few centuries.

-Was he also a...

-Nope,not a vampire.Just a dark arts enthusiast,-she sighed,shaking her head as if she couldn't believe what some people chose do to with their free time.Before Toji could pursue the topic further-there were about a hundred more questions he needed to ask-Airin stood up and scooped up all their cups to take them back to the kitchen.-I have to be up early.Gotta get ready for bed.

Jason nodded and got up as well.Toji must have looked very thoughtful when Airin returned to the room because she took a moment to gaze at him silently and only when he raised his eyes to meet hers did she speak.

-A lot to take in,huh?,-Airin offered a little smile.-Stick around,you might discover the rest of the huge iceberg buried in the water.

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk #toji fushiguro #toji x reader #jujutsu kaisen fanfic #jjk au #jjk spoilers #jujutsu kaisen spoilers

2 notes · View notes

recurring-polynya · 2 years

Text

Fanfic Round-up 2022

Well. I survived 2022. Sometimes that's all you can say.

It was my worst writing year on record, by far. I posted 199,638 works this year, which sounds pretty good, but a huge chunk of that was written in 2021. A more honest estimate puts me at 113k or possibly even more like 103k. :/

Anyway, so what did I do?

Well, I spent the first part of the year posting What We Do with Our Hearts, which is the aforementioned big chunk of workcount I did in 2021. Overall, I feel like it was well-received, especially for being a story about a guy's not-great relationship with his grandfather. It never got a whole lot of kudos compared to hits, which is perplexing to me-- I don't know if started it and didn't like it, or people just forgot or what. I got lots and lots of comments on it, tho, so I know that the people who liked it really liked it, and that's all that really matters.

I also did a couple of short stories for Rukia's birthday, which you can find in chapters 2-4 of my anthology fic, Squad Six is Jerks, vol III. The first is about Rukia and Ichigo trying to talk about their love lives like the idiots they are, and the second two are continuations of some of my more popular AUs, the transcendentally stupid Rukia and Renji join Squad 11 much to the dismay of Byakuya's blood pressure AU, and a modern AU where Renji is a tattoo artist and Rukia is his high-powered businesswoman client (more about this later).

a jackrabbit underneath isn't a very happy one. I always thought there was an extra dimension of Awful to that Academy-training-trip-gone-nightmare story, in the sense that Rukia and Renji say some unkind things to one another shortly before Renji departs, and I wanted to poke around at that bruise.

ohhhhhhhhh, I wanted to badly to finish a little in love this year, and I worked on it a bunch and didn't feel particularly good about it and gave. I did write one single interlude chapter, which was about Rukia coming to live with the Kuchiki, except in this AU, her sister is there, dying. I sure was a ray of sunshine in the early part of this year!

I should back up actually, because that's not exactly true. I spent a lot of the spring on a sequential art project, my Soul Society Tattoo Artist AU, which wasn't exactly fanfic, but it took up some of the same space in my brain. There's a tattoo artist-related subplot in What We Do with Our Hearts, and I think I was looking back at it and realized that I had missed a prime opportunity to do a Tattoo Artist AU that took place in-universe, in the sense that it's all still in Soul Society, but thru a series of Hisana-related twists, Rukia and Renji never met in Inuzuri, Renji never made it to Shin'ou, and becomes a tattoo artist, instead. I mean, there is a fanfic part, two entirely separate fanfic parts, actually, none of which I actually posted. It was probably the most fun thing I worked on this year, and I hope to pick it back up again eventually.

I guess I did some short stories, too, this year? I wrote a little present for @fluffnflightillustrations that takes place in her Princess-Knight AU. I did a prompts even around May, where I got people to suggest "What if?" scenarios. You can find them in my what if requests tag, or they are collected in Chapters 6-13 of Squad Six is Jerks, vol III.

Okay, now we're back up to the summer where I failed to finish a little in love. I eventually gave up, because it just wasn't happening, and I picked up that Modern Tattoo Artist AU again, and tooled into an actual story, this could be permanent, you know. It is complete, I finished it up right before Christmas. I've always wanted to write a romcom, and now I can say I have done it. It's a pretty cute story, I guess, and I would probably like it more if someone else had written it. I'm not sure if it's because it's a modern AU, which I like to read but feel weird about writing, or if it's because I wrote it in an as-I-went format instead of writing the whole thing out, but I got almost zero sense of satisfaction after finishing it, which was...frustrating. I'm glad other people liked it, at least-- statistically, it's one of my most popular fanfics by nearly every measure. Figures.

Somewhere in the middle of all that, I wrote wherever is your heart, i call home, a porno about the joys of married people late night shower sex.

Edit, b/c I forgot: I also wrote a couple of short stories as part of the Bleach Returns! event in October, to celebrate the return of the anime! There was the Renji's Bad Tea: the Origin Story, and Happy Squad 10 Day, To Those Who Celebrate.

What an incredibly strange year!

I've spent the last two weeks or so in an absolute rage about how much I hate my own writing and how disappointed I am in myself, but, jeez, writing all that out, it feels like more than it was. I dunno. My resolution from last year was to have more fun writing and...I dunno. I feel like some of that was fun, but there was also a lot of making myself miserable, and then hardly having anything to show for it.

Anyway, I've decided that 2023 is not going to be a writing year. That's not to say I'm not going to do any writing, but I'm gonna put myself under any pressure, and if I don't write anything... well...¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Maybe I've written enough. Mostly I just want get back to some of my projects that I've been neglecting. I really want to pick up the next part of Heart is a Muscle again, and I'm feeling a little kinder about what I managed to write of a little in love last summer. Finishing either of them would be amazing, but I'd honestly be happy to just make a little more progress. Anyway, every year doesn't have to be a writing year. I'm hoping to have an art year and a houseplant year and my-volunteer-job year and maybe do some redecorating in my house year. If some writing falls out as a byproduct, that's great, but if not, that's fine, too.

#my writing #year-end roundups

17 notes · View notes

yandere-monoma · 1 year

Text

WHOOO KYM 2 COMMENTARY while i stall on working on kym 7

lots to discuss about a chapter literally called 'the exposition' hjgkfsg. if you didnt know, the way ao3 multichap updates works is that you dont necessarily have to title a oneshot chapter but the second you update it, you really get shown the option to title your chapters. so it didnt actually occur to me that i needed names for each one until chapter 2. i believe originally i was going to use a similar system as kyd where every chapter title was a command a la homestuck. however, i wasn't really utilizing the commands in the same way, i didn't really end the previous chapter with one and the plan for the next chapter... technically involves a command but not one i wanted to spoil via the chapter title.

the current naming system came into existence probably 3/4s of the way or more into writing this chapter, once i made the realization that the fic was, in fact, going to be at least five chapters. at this point in time, the plan was the following: the introduction, the exposition, the climax, the ending, the epilogue. this changed even more as time went on and more chapter ideas rudely crammed themselves into my brain, though it helped the structure a lot, because giving me time to fill out the space between exposition and climax made my brain happy HJSKFG

so, moving on, the fun part about chap 2 is that it really establishes the 'narration' as its own living function, something that is vaguely independent of the story rather than just a tool to present the story with, that both voices the author's and the character's thoughts depending on who is grabbing for control. this isn't an aspect i planned when outlining the fic but it's definitely influenced by 1) how much fun i had reading the epilogues and subsequent epilogue flavored fics 2) my desire to find some way to one-up the first chapter despite the topic matter not being nearly as extreme 3) the impulse to add in another experimental element to the story, especially now that the more abstract and poetic style of the first chapter was being removed

it's also incredibly fun to play with, because every time i struggled with describing something or wondered how i could transition from one point to the other, i realized - oh! i can just make the narrator state that very thing. don't know how i'm gonna build up from the end of chap 1 to the narrative goal of chap 2 (rose's mkultra moment)??? let's just get that all out in the open, then! problem SOLVED

it ended up being a hugely fun choice that allowed me to inject some humor into what's otherwise just a big ole pile o' unrelenting angst. it also helped me take myself less seriously, which lent me even more creative freedom than usual, like. GOD. it really helped turn this piece into something so rewarding, it overwhelms me. goddamnit homestuck why do you have to be so good

i just rewatched butterfly effect recently, god. back to the future i've never seen though. time references haha get it cuz his aspect is still time-

speaking of time, this chapter was the first attempt to really try and describe a zeta kid's classpect without coming out and stating it. there's a few interpretations of different phenomena's in homestuck that point out the implication of classpect powers being active before reaching god tier, or even before entering the game (though, usually in a way that is incredibly weak, premature and subtle enough to be missed by the user). one of the strongest examples that i based this chapter on was something the epilogues described: the idea that rose's obsessive writing as a child was based on her light powers feeding her vague visions of her future character arcs and plotlines. i really loved that and wanted a similar sort of plight for dave. i'll go off about what his specific title is at the end of this chapter but it's really fun poking at it now and then

the multiple narrators? seriously??? bit was me realizing i had to add a Multiple Narrators tag on ao3 after this. at this point of writing, i had no idea if i would be visiting anyone else's pov besides dave's, though.

attempt at homestuckian humor GO

™️ jokes are so funny to me for no reason

wink wink hint hint this is one of dave's powers at work, actually!! so, dave egbert actually has a perfect memory. like, there is not a single thing he's ever forgotten in his life, if he's experienced it, he can recollect that knowledge. this power also extends to the imaginary, the subconscious, and the supernatural, ie: in the event that dave experiences any visions of the future, he will retain that information. likewise, he has memories of every dream and nightmare he's ever had. which is fun because considering he's a dersite and also a time player and also dave, he has a lot of them HAHA. more on that later

The two of you had hit it off instantly despite this, like you had known each other your entire lives, like any and every other relationship that had come before it had merely been a warm-up for the monumental connection that would spark instantly between you both. ... You’re pretty convinced she’s your soulmate. If not that, you’re at least assured by the fact that you’re absolutely head over heels in love with her.

sentences i had so much fun writing knowing how badly it's going to mess dave up to learn that they're actually related HA HA

Especially at the start, Rose was mysterious and she was hilarious and she was overwhelming, the brightest thing you’ve ever had the fortune of witnessing.

get it because she's a hero of light get it she's the light of his life because shes a hero of light get it get it she's mysterious because her class mimics its opposite at the beginning of the story so everything about her pre-canon arc clings to void but she!! is bright! like light haha get i- 💥

see, reading sentences like this means i HAVE to at least write enough of their session to let dave both die and kill for his rose, like

also i need to write her killing and dying for him. well. killing for him. well.

killing.

perhaps just killing him. HAHAHA.

it is very fun to think about this because rose honestly just. does not talk about her relationship with dave much outside of mentioning that they're together. her narrative is so focused on the things that she wants the audience to focus on, so this was such a fun chapter to reveal the things she decided isn't important enough to ever let us in on.

like, she is so adamant that bro is the only important person in her life and the only person she loves, but she deeply cares about dave. she feels the same way, that they're connected in this way she can't pinpoint or name. and claiming him is exactly the right way to put it, because i don't think she knows how to acknowledge those emotions in herself, but she knows that she needs him with her always and wants him entrapped in a way where he can't get away from her.

i think rose is just incredibly attracted to what dave represents: safety, normalcy, the mundane, a reprieve from pain, but there are things about him that she just inherently gets. he's an outsider despite how much he attempts to fit in and i think there's something about that she relates to but also wants so badly to destroy and keep for herself.

also, this is a thing that belongs more in hcs than in kym specifically, especially because i imagine this taking place way earlier in their relationship, but bro absolutely knows about her relationship with dave. it isn't a secret. it's a thing that amuses him greatly. i actually imagine she shares a lot of details about him to bro, like allowing him this voyeuristic entertainment because dave isn't a threat to him, not really, and she shares every single one of her belongings with him.

in a perfectly pornographic world the two of them would spitroast the fuck out of him but this is a partially pornographic world that involves a meaningful plotline or whatever 🙄 smh

siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh

this part was incredibly hard to write. not because it was difficult or emotionally taxing but because i reached this unfortunate impasse i find myself at every now and then while writing a lot of darkfic where i struggle with... it's not exactly the impulse to project, necessarily, more just.... feeling forced through into inevitability of it? or maybe it's the reluctance to use personal experiences vs the knowledge that doing it can benefit your writing (but also can hamper it).

like, very hard to write about a self-destructive teenager with violent tendencies without being reminded of the time when you were a self-destructive teenager with violent tendencies.

that reluctance is born from a rant i'm definitely not gonna get into unprompted but i'll just say that it definitely complicated things HAHAHA. i've definitely gone through a 'i'm going through a psychotic break and i'm going to ramble out 7835963463 crazy things into this dm window because the person on the other side said i could' phase. i've definitely just. been insane and vomited so many words out and ngl for a second there in the final draft when i was feeling too lazy to get into Stream Of Consciousness mode i was very tempted to dig up an old vent post and copypaste those thoughts in for rose but ultimately i thought that was disingenuous and a betrayal of her character SO

a fun but unexpected surprise was rose sounding far more like herself during her drugged moments of honesty. it's especially fun because even in the future when she doesn't have access to any sort of drugs or contact with bro anymore, i don't think she'll sound this much like rose lalonde either. it's like in her desperate search to find more of her brother, she's really just found a core part of herself that she doesn't have access to in this universe

'Is there a mechanical soul within me?' there is and his name is hal hi hal

it is actually incredibly fun playing with typing quirk punctuation. it's actually a style i utilized a lot in chatroom roleplay groups yeaaaaaaaaaars after homestuck ended, very much inspired by tumblr ventblogging typing styles, crytyping and all that. the idea that someone's mental state can and should be reflected in their typing style, which is something you really only see in canon in a character like gamzee (i cant remember if other trolls drop the quirk in times of duress in canon??? i think karkat drops his as a joke about volume sometimes but that's it). i don't even know if it even really comes across as blatantly as it feels when i write it, but it's so fun to see the consistencies in a way a character types slowly but surely fall apart as they grow unstable

so the way this is designed, it's as if rose had a moment of finally being in touch with the core of herself, with what ultimately makes her rose (complete with proper punctuation), before slowly but surely lapsing back into ro-stri as she loses her punctuation piece by piece, and then ultimately devolving even more as she abandons her capitalization to type in a way that's reminiscent of dave but, more importantly, bro's typing quirk

'I think there are lives inside me/the life inside me is his' is so funny to look at in hindsight. this chapter was halfway finished before the pregnancy plot had even come into being, and this was only ever supposed to be a reference to the identity blurring she's experiencing, and this half-truth, half-delusion about being able to sense everything lil cal has injected into her and her brother. it is so STRANGE to reread it now knowing that it's become foreshadowing to her pregnancy, especially with that next sentiment following it:

'Sometimes I wish it was yours'. again, that idea of being soulmates, being connected with someone permanently. and, again, that idea of codependency, and rose being unable to express or understand love without that need to merge herself with the object of her affection. and again this was befORE the pregnancy plot was a thing so now every time i read this line i sit here hoping people dont interpret it as rose wanting dave's baby HGJFKGSGSG i swear im not into breeding i sWEAR

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭😭😭😭

DAVE IS SO CUTE I ALWAYS DIE REREADING THAT PART HE'S SO CUUUTE

also i struggle so SO much writing comfort scenes especially dialogue meant to comfort someone but this came out so easily. perhaps because it's a futile attempt and i didn't have to worry about the recipient of that comfort actually feeling soothed...? hmmm!

i have nothing to add to the romantic cannibalism confession besides :3c

i don't actually reread this chapter all that often anymore so finding this paragraph was lovely damn shoutout to this sentence that made me choke on my water as i was reading it cuz i was so distracted by how much i didnt remember writing this that i forgot to swallow and my drink just slid down into my lugnshjskdfg

then it is a series of letters in a language you wonder if she’s made up, that is somehow so cohesive in its chaos that you start to doubt even that.

more horrorterror references as if the literal last paragraph wasn't enough HAHA

a very fun part of designing and outlining the killswitch au is deciding who gets what plotline. for example, does rose strider get to go grimdark because she's rose? or does jade lalonde get to go grimdark because she's the lalonde with library access to the grimoire? unlike the characterization formula, there isn't an easy answer to this one. i'm mostly just going with what's more fun narratively and what makes a better and more cohesive storyline for the verse.

either way, though, ro-stri still has a connection with the horrorterrors, simply because she's a dersite and because i love a character that is so utterly doomed that every evil force on the face of the planet wants to take a turn on them. what's better than this... getting psychologically gangbanged by every demon in existence...

DID YOU KNOW I AM SO VERY FOND OF DAVE EGBERT AND HIS LOVELY PAPA WHO LOVES HIM SO MUCH

i am also so very fond of a dave egbert who cries alone in front of his computer cuz his girlfriend makes him so very sad every night like poor baby does Not Sleep and its so cute gjkgs

'its just prose' annoys the shit out of me to see because i wrote a similar line in a published piece of writing a couple of years ago so i can't reread this without being reminded of That hgjfkg

i will never write a strider rap i have the highest respect for any author who can but it'll never be me

their dynamic kills me HJKGFGKGS peak toxic romance right here god i wish i could write even more of it... i need to write more daverose so fucking bad....

a fun line because 1) i rly enjoy dave's half-forced half-genuine emotional voyeurism it's just a rly interesting aspect of his personality to write and 2) it's fun to have a moment with dave e's specific brand of humor since it's not as long-winded as a strider's would be

i rly forgot so much of this chapter HGFKGSGS oh dave... i love you... i love writing you so much...

stream-of-consciousness style writing is really fun like you get taken to so many unexpected places in the process. generally when i go SoC style i tend to have a few goals i want to land and this image, dave watching over rose in derse, was one of the big ones

ALSO THE IRONY OF DAVE CALLING HIMSELF HER PRINCE WHEN SHE IS ACTUALLY THE PRINCE OF THE SESSION HEHEHEHEHE

the lil cal staring contest is also another big one. it's just such a fun image to allude to like goddamnit i wish i could draw. it feels like an image that i can't even really describe properly what i want it to mean because it explains itself and there's not much minutia to pry free, it's just. them. rose inexplicably and perpetually being drowned in this cancerous evil at a rate that not even dave strider got to experience.

lmfao shout out to me explaining his memory power earlier forgetting that i explain it in the chapter HJSKFG

oh well NOW I GET TO ACTUALLY DISCUSS HIS CLASSPECT

so dave egbert issssss....

🥁 [drumroll] 🥁

the MAGE OF TIME!!!!

and changing classpects actually did something incredibly interesting to the story. killswitch never would have worked as a simple homestuck rewrite, because i dont think swapping the guardians is something that can ever be simple. so it didnt make sense to keep their classpects exactly the same, because they wouldn't have the same personalities or the same backgrounds to craft those personalities, or the same issues that were born of their uniquely shitty backgrounds. it also didnt feel as easy as making rose a knight of light and dave an heir of time, etc etc. like, while rose is not insecure in the classic way that knights should be (it can be argued that the 'i am my brother' facade can count towards knighthood... but her role in the story and what it will turn into once she joins the game definitely brands her a prince through and through)

through researching for killswitch i ended up coming to this conclusion about sburb and how i approach classpect and hs narratives in general:

and because of that, it was super easy to reassign everyone based on what they've been turned into through the switch in their roles.

it also made for another easy characterization formula: their aspect represents their 'nature' while their class represents their 'nurture'. so all the zeta kids still belong to the same aspect while their class changes rapidly, though how close or how far it is from their original class really depends on their character

anyway, mage of time is an incredibly fun role that actually breaks the rewrite narrative almost more than rose's classpect does. as the mage of time, dave actually steals the cryptic psychic role from jade and john harley (though, i do have thoughts on that matter, because there is still going to be a benefit for them from having access to prospit, and that plotline will still be involved in some capacity... probably).

and it's a very fun, partially accidental discovery within the au that the zeta kids are all... just a tad more prepared to enter sburb than their predecessors. rose is completely aware of the fact that she's training for something specific and dave... dave knows that the game is coming. he doesn't know the specifics, he doesn't know that it's sburb specifically that will bring them all together, but he knows there's an it, he knows the day he'll meet all his friends in person will be a day for the history books, and he knows that rose is in danger and that he'll be able to help her in a way no one else can.

some mage of time thoughts, many of which inspired and/or describe dave egbert's storyline:

source

the above was probably one of the first interpretations i read and really what solidified him as a mage, my initial thoughts to his classpect and how it interacts with rose's was the following:

and it's just so fun GOD rly hope i get to write in his perspective more in the future

haha yeah if we ever get to it yEAH if i ever get off my ass and actually finish writing this wholeass au which i nEVER WILL CUZ I DONT WANNA WRITE 500K WORDS GODDDD IM NEVER WRITING A HOMESTUCK AU AGAAAAIINNNN

#fic: kill your masters #director's commentary #meta #verse: killswitch #rose strider #dave egbert

3 notes · View notes