#my dog died today and i had just managed to not cry for about... 3 hours

[louhearted]

....

[tqmies]

Congrats on 1K! Can I have 41 and 53, roommate haechan? Thank you so much

Go Away | Lee Haechan

Part of Tqmies 1K Event!

Room mate au! 41. “I… I think I’m happy.” “You think? So you’re not one hundred percent certain?” 53. "Hey, you haven't come out of your room in like two days...I'm not worried or anything but the dishes are piling up and I need you to be alive so you can take care of them, so...", wc: 1.1k note: thank you so much <3 hope you enjoy it, domestic room mate hyuck?? i cry

6 days, it had been that long since you had broken up with your boyfriend of over two years. And of course, the first few days were okay, which was different from what you expected. You truly thought you'd be downing tubs of ice cream in front of the TV watching sad romance flicks. Like they do in all the cliche movies.

However, your little breakdown didn't come until a few days later. Everything needed time to settle in, and once it did? Oh boy.

Your friends had managed to keep you occupied for the first few days, but you weren't exactly a joy to be around. Not even as they dragged you to the club to remind you how great being single could be. You just couldn't find it in you to enjoy your time out.

Either way, you had returned home to Lee Haechan, your menace of a roommate. And in fact, your current state could all directly be pointed back to him.

It had been a normal Thursday, you returning home to him on the couch, playing one of his stupid games on your shared console.

You were sniffling a bit, frustrated at another cancelled date with your boyfriend. He had been getting far too busy to spend time with the likes of you, and you could feel him slipping away.

You tried not to think about it too much, choosing to hold your sanity. That was until Haechan took note of your form, and asked why you looked like your dog died, whatever that meant.

"He cancelled again, that asshole! I mean, I get that he's busy and all, but so am I! He could've let me know he had a meeting today, is my time not worth as much as his?" You let out, dropping your bag with a loud thud on the floor. "He never communicates with me! Is it that hard to send a text saying you're not going to make it? It must be, because I was waiting there for an hour and a half before he let me know!"

And you storm off to the kitchen, Haechan following diligently behind you. "Maybe he just got really caught up in work." He says meekly, a little afraid of your wrath at the moment, but also feeling bad for you.

You force open the fridge, ignoring Haechans small words. You look around it for a few seconds, brows furrowing as you whip your head back to him. "Where's all the damn alcohol!"

"What?" He says, taken aback as you move to check the bottom cabinets. You move things around, huffing when you can't find a single bottle.

"I know you're here somewhere!" You speak, apparently talking to the alcohol. You even allow yourself a tear to fall, though all you can feel is anger at the moment. Yeah, you've lost it.

"Wait, okay. Instead of drinking, why don't we just talk about it?" He suggests, attempting to divert your attention.

You're not having it though. "Talk? Did he take time to talk to me? No! So I don't think-"

"Woah, woah, slow down." Haechan interrupts. "It sounds like you're angry about more than just today, you seem really upset."

"Well it wasn't just today, he's been doing this so much. We haven't been on a proper date in months." You speak, crossing your arms. Scoffing, you place your hands on the counter. "But God forbid I miss a single phone call of his, and then he's all sulky the rest of the day, and they say I'm the dramatic one!"

"Well maybe it's time to call it quits then."

You blink, staring back at Haechan. "What?"

The thought had truly never crossed your mind, sure you were upset. But enough to break up with your boyfriend? Were things really that bad?

"It doesn't seem like you're benefiting from this relationship, that's all I'm saying." He speaks again, shrugging.

"Relationships aren't about benefiting!" You groan, throwing your hands up.

"I get that, but you don't even seem happy." He retorts, and he meant it. Every time you opened your mouth related to your boyfriend, it was a complaint or angry statement.

And you hated that he was a bit right. "I... I think I'm happy."

"You think? So you're not one hundred percent certain?" He asks, and you hate how hard you're thinking about it.

You were so unhappy.

That revelation led you to where you were at the moment. Bundled up in blankets as you mourned a relationship that you had ended.

And part of you stupidly blames Haechan, but you can barely justify why. All he did was open your eyes to how bad your relationship was.

Though you're still a bit annoyed that he planned the break up seed in your head, and that you had allowed it to bloom into a real course of action. It was definitely for the best, but it still hurt like hell.

So after refusing another forced day out, you were currently wallowing in self pity, watching the latest episode of your comfort show.

Truth be told, you hadn't lifted a finger all day, choosing to remain in bed. And you did that the next day as well, willing yourself to eat small meals Haechan left outside your door.

He didn't want to bother you too much, figuring you were taking this a bit harder than he thought. You seemed fine the other day, but he assumed the reality hit you.

But against all his restraint, he finally willed himself to knock on your door. He calls your name, to which he receives no answer. You're not in the mood for company, can't he just let you rot in your room?

The answer was no. "Hey, you haven't come out of your room in like two days...I'm not worried or anything but the dishes are piling up and I need you to be alive so you can take care of them, so..."

You admit, you giggle a little at his mention of your usual chore. But you barely will yourself to shout a little. "Do them yourself."

"I don't think so!" He complains, leaning against your closed door. "Last time I did them you said to never let me again."

You laugh, for the first time in a few days. "That's because you spent the entire time playing with bubbles instead of washing anything."

"Bubbles are cool, you're weird for not playing with them!" He responds, smiling at the little chuckle that leaves your lips.

"Go away." You speak, half-heartedly. "Let me decay in peace."

"No," He says, rolling his eyes. "Can I come in?"

"I haven't bathed in two days."

"That can be arranged, I'll help you wash your hair after." He offers, and you're thankful for it.

"Okay," You speak, wiping the stray tears residing on your face. You will yourself to get out of bed, standing by your door. You can see the shadow of his feet under it, and you grin. "Thank you Haechan."

"Anytime." He says, and you feel your heart flutter a bit at that.

He'd always be here for you, and he'd make sure you knew that.

[abistasiasims]

Generation 7 Expose

ok... i know i took a big break after gen 6, so that's why there wasn't one then... but there was so much weird stuff behind the scenes this time I need to tell someone besides my friends in 3+ min snapchat videos explaining the strangeness that is this save file

first off... daisy... this ugly dog. this dog was supposed to be a shar pei

those are NOT the same dog... this dog gave me nothing but grief... when it died, maeve and elián were in the middle of trying for the twins. not only that, the dog walked into their bedroom during the act JUST TO DIE!

winston was so cute and I honestly miss him, but good god daisy was a piece of work. i also cheated scout to live longer because I didn't want to deal with another horse that would outlive maeve and be left to lottie to care for.

regarding the twins, i had no name ideas for them so i let the sims name randomizer help me out (honestly I only knew spence's name prior to the birth) so when jo was born first I was like "oh little women, that's cute!" and named her that. with teddy, I got teddy first but since I already had charlotte being called lottie, I wanted the same with teddy so theodore it was. it wasn't until the twins were INFANTS and I was in cas that I realized he was also named after little women... not only that, named after the man who falls in love with jo originally. i swear I didn't mean to imply any incest with this generation, the sims name generator did it! (insert crying emoji I would use if I wasn't on a PC rn)

now to thimble... maeve officially has had the most thimble's die on her with 4 or 5. I'm unsure because I can't find screenshots of one of them so I'm at 16 in my game but only have enough screenshots for 15... I will be pretending the current 16 (who is actually the 2nd 16 since the first died in 3 real minutes) isn't real and we will have the real 16 when this one dies.

this is the family tree as of today (3/23)

ik i'm ahead with it because i queue posts in advance (I'm actually about a 1.5 weeks into gen 8 rn) but my god the distant relatives are strange.

i like to go into manage worlds and give distant relatives spouses and children for my own enjoyment to fill out the family tree, but they like to die right after I do that.

hunter sigworth (christian from gen 5's vampire spouse) died... of EMBARASSMENT! his grandson, beejay (the sims picked that name... i didn't), died of burning in the sun because I forgot to cheat him and his brother to be immune to it... still haven't done it but this keeps me entertained so I probably won't.

valentine from gen 5's daughter-in-law died from poison and his son remarried questionably young. that same son's son from the poison wife died from falling by heights when he had just had a daughter with his wife.

oliver's (gen 3) great-grandson died of electrocution days after him and his husband adopted a daughter, while that same great-grandson's mother (oliver's granddaughter-in-law) died by killer rabbit.

ANYWAY... thank you all for following along with this family! i have so much fun with them and their ridiculousness and I hope you do as well. I'll see you in the next generation. maybe 3 weeks maybe 3 months, who knows with me lol. my final spring semester (ik crazy I graduate uni this December) ends at the end of April and my only commitment this summer is an internship I still haven't found so I should have more time then! I'm on spring break (as of writing this) rn so that's why I've had so much time recently.

[cascadianights]

My cat of 11 years dies.

I can't take a break, I need to make sure there's nothing dangerous or toxic for the tenth time this week through the house.

I keep moving.

Theres an ice storm, windows to cover with blankets and limbs to haul. Power out and alarms to light candle heating for the animals.

More limbs. Ice to mud. Electricity back just in time to miss counseling and have to reschedule. Emails to answer, appointments to confirm, a group to run.

I have counseling, a little over an hour before an hour long interview for two positions. In the middle I get a text that my housemate wants to talk - no clarification or context, no taking account of what he does know of my week (it's my birthday the next day on top of it all) or my anxiety

So I say sure, let's talk tomorrow. Go to my interview. Pass out from exhaustion and sleep for more than 2 hours the first time all week.

Wake up early to get this talk over with. Spend 8 hours of my birthday cleaning while my back screams in pain. My partner would help, but he's disabled too and spent all his energy hauling limbs to the trailer bed for my housemate. We never hear from him even though I check in a few times saying we're down to talk are you free.

Eat. Drink and try to relax. Marvel at how clean everything is, and cringe as half a wall full of items topples down on top of it all without warning. A gallon jar worth of weed that's one of my only forms of pain management shatters.

I go for a walk with my dog. Nothing can get worse, no one in this quiet town will bother me. I'll breathe in the sights and smells of the river, get out of my head.

A cop approaches going 50mph, and proceeds to spend the entire rest of my walk circling the area. He passes me and my small, flannel jacket wearing dog 5 times. By the 4th I have my phone out recording just in case I never come home.

I do get home, aching and sick with it all. I complain that no matter how well I try to set things up to just take a break, to just breathe, it's one thing after another after another after another after another after another after another.

I get 3 whole hours of sleep before I'm up again. My housemate, who is horrible at texting and never reads what he's sending (broken sentences filled with random autocorrected words) ((he's a teacher)) is trying to talk over text. It's unclear exactly what he wants, since I've said twice now I'm not available today in an attempt to protect a single day for myself.

Between the lines I see that he wants the car out of the backyard because it makes it muddier. I wonder how he can't see between the lines to notice there may be a reason why we park in the backyard, even though we have to walk the entire circumference of the house and yard to open and close the gate for it.

He doesn't quite say that though, he says something about branches and we assure him we will take care of them for him this week - load and drive them into town. He says no rush since they're swamped anyways, and there's a flat tire on the truck.

I try to sleep again, I need it so badly I'm so so tired. I wake up to my partner crying. My housemate had actually wanted the car moved immediately for this later in the week project, and doesn't like how the trailerbed bed is loaded (not a safety thing, thinks it's inconvenient to load it first and then move it so wants it all taken off). He made sure we knew this, finally despite us having only needed to see "hey I'm working on something today can you move the car," by lashing out and yelling at my partner when he took the dogs out.

I still haven't slept. I don't feel safe. I don't know how much of that is real or not. I don't feel like my own clear communication is being reciprocated or respected. I don't feel safe. I feel angry and bitter and sad and am trying to hold that this isn't like him (at least not at us, I've seen this temper at his family) and he's probably also stressing about other things, with the simultaneous truth that this is an entirely fucked up way to go about everything and that it NEVER STOPS.

Every few hours for weeks. It doesnt stop. Always something. Always a new mess. Always having to borrow spoons from next week, and the one after that. I'm in so much pain parts of my neck and back are going numb and tingling. I've wanted to die for months. The longest companion I have left. I don't feel safe. I want it to stop.

[ladyvesuvia]

Moniker Origin

PAIRING: Sirius Black x Fem!Gryffindor!Reader

SUMMARY: Befriending a stray dog not only leads to a routine rendezvous every midnight but also the story of how Sirius got one of his many names.

WORDS: 5.5k

WARNING(S): Just fluff but involves cursing, name-calling, nicknames, mentions of celebrities/characters from the 70s, mentions of eating and food. || SECOND PERSON

A/N: can u tell this is kind of an indirect prequel to i’m a dreamer hsjsiw anyway i hope u like it!!! for @meiitanoia my beloved sirius black lovebot <3

[NAVIGATION] [MASTERLIST]

    You woke up with a start. The curtains to your four-poster bed danced gently, as if attempting to put you into a trance. It worked: You watched it, transfixed more than ever until you slowly gained proper consciousness, or at least enough to let you yawn.

    You reached out to push the curtains a bit to find that it was still night-time. You could hear light snores coming from your roommates, but you ignored it in desperate hopes of falling asleep again. You couldn’t; not that you didn’t want to, because you really did. The reason for your tossing and turning at this late hour was most likely because you slept around six p.m., an unideal hour for sleep on a weekday. You’d passed on dinner, and told yourself you’d just take breakfast early in the morning.

    Giving up, you threw out your feet off the bed, feeling the cold surface of the floor. The clock told you it was half past eleven as it kept ticking and ticking and ticking.

    Before you knew it, you were trudging down the deserted halls of Hogwarts, half-melted dark chocolate in one hand and your lightened wand in the other. You bought it from Honeydukes just last weekend on your visit to Hogsmeade. You didn’t know where you were going, but you just wanted to be somewhere else, maybe even do something exciting.

    For cautionary measures, you looked in every direction every time you reached a turn in fear of getting caught by any roaming person of authority. Peeves would probably make a sound that’ll draw Mr. Filch’s attention; Mrs. Norris could appear, and that in itself is bad news already; Mr. Filch himself could catch you and start throwing insane threats; or maybe someone from the faculty could catch you and put you in detention, and you knew full well you did not want to spend time doing an absurd task.

    When you managed to slip out unnoticed, you walked over to the bank of the lake, the rocks crunching under your feet. It was probably one of the things you find in horror movies when all is still, all is sleeping, and the monster is yet to come—

    Your pulse skipped a beat when the sight of something running away from the forest shuffled past. You realized it was just a dog, but it gave you a shock nonetheless. Just a dog, you thought. Just a dog.

    You pulled out the chocolate from your pocket, unwrapping it carelessly. It wasn’t until you took your first bite did you realize the dog was right behind you, watching you with curious eyes.

    “I’d give you some but dogs aren’t allowed to eat chocolate,” you said to the dog, who then whined in response as it sat down. “I really can’t, I’m sorry.”

    One might think a big black dog sneaking up on you in the middle of a night would cause a fright, but it was strangely more comforting than eerie. After all, it was just a dog.

    Just looking at the creature reminded you of Snuffles, your very own dog who died while you were away from home and sitting in History of Magic, unaware your best bud had passed. You looked down hopefully at the dog in front of you.

    “Snuffles?” you inquired hesitantly, reaching out your hand. Please don’t bite, you chanted more to yourself than to the dog. To your relief, it approached you gingerly and let you pet its head. “Is it you?”

    Highly unlikely, you knew that, but it wouldn’t hurt to hope that it was, right? You’d spent your entire childhood with that dog: Sleeping together under a poorly done fort until daybreak; getting lost in the neighborhood together, earning disapproving opinions from the neighbors; and most of all, countless birthdays.

    Well, just to name a few.

    Maybe it was the moonlight reflecting off of the lake’s waters, but you could’ve sworn you saw the dog wink. You took your hand back to rub your eyes before studying the dog. “Are you Hagrid’s?”

    The dog simply sat there, looking at you curiously. “Right, like a dog’s gonna talk back to me.” You chuckled, laughing at yourself. “Come, I’ll bring you back to him.”

    It didn’t move. “Look, I can’t give you chocolate. Maybe I can sneak you some steak or something next time if you’re still here. I’d give you dog food but they don’t have that around here. But I reckon Hagrid has some, though. Do you want me to get you food?”

    Once again, maybe (just maybe) it was only your imagination, but you got the sense that the dog disagreed. You didn’t push it any further and so you simply made yourself comfortable even under the rocks. You set down your cloak under your bottom to serve as a mat. It didn’t do much, but it was better. You gestured for the dog to come closer.

    “I’m gonna call you Snuffles now,” you said as you picked up a stone. “Watch this.” With a swing of your arm, you sent the stone flying into the lake, skipping three times. “I used to be able to do four. You’d know, you were there!”

    Snuffles your dog from years ago indeed was there with you when it happened on your family trip to your lake house, but this was not Snuffles; this was your very own classmate and Housemate, Sirius Black himself. He’d never talked to you before, much less noticed you, so it was a surprise to him that he’s spending his time with you at this late hour.

    Nevertheless, it was a time well-spent even when it was mostly (entirely) just watching you skip rocks down the lake as you talked about the aforementioned Snuffles. He didn’t know how long you two sat there, but sat you did anyway. Twice he thought of a joke to tell only to be disappointed for of course, he couldn’t voice it out.

    “I named her Snuffles because she used to cry a lot when we first brought her home from the shelter and mum didn’t want us to call her Sniffles so I went with the next best thing.” You put your legs in front of you. “Poor little thing.”

    It wasn’t until the sky brightened a bit did you realize you were thirsty from all the talking you were doing. You would've stayed for the sunrise but, well, schedules would tragically overlap.

    “Crap,” you thought as you began picking up your cloak, “I’ll end up dozing off in class! Anyway, I’ll try and bring you steak later, Snuffy.”

    With a wave, you ran away from the lake, cloak in your arms, unaware that you had left your wand behind. Sirius was watching you until you disappeared from sight before he spotted the wand, which he then picked up.

    He de-transformed on his way just a bit by a wall, and as soon as he did, he tucked your wand into his own cloak. He glanced back just for a second before running back to the castle. By the time he got to the painting of the Fat Lady, he halted at the sight of the girl from earlier — you.

    “—you know me already, ma’am. I just forgot the password is all. Please let me in.”

    “No password, no entry,” spat the Fat Lady. “And it does not do to wake up a sleeping person.”

    “Well, you’re just a painting,” you mumbled. And if Sirius could hear it from where he was standing, the Fat Lady probably heard it too.

    “Hmph!” exclaimed the Fat Lady. “Children are foul.”

    “They are, aren’t they?” you chimed in hopes of getting on the Fat Lady’s better graces.

     “I was talking about you, child,” said the Fat Lady with disdain. “Now scoot!”

     You were about to walk away when Sirius decided to walk in. You froze.

    It was only until then did it dawn on Sirius that he did not know your name because you had not told him anything earlier. He turned to the Fat Lady.

    “Spondulicks,” said Sirius. The Fat Lady merely grunted as the painting swung open to reveal the room. “After you, m’lady.”

    It was like he was seeing a different person; you refused to meet his eyes as you hurriedly walked into the opening of the painting, arms crossed. He was almost about to give you your wand but realized what a bad idea that would be, and so he kept his mouth shut.

    You kept walking straight ahead, and Sirius had to stifle his laugh at the sight of you missing a step on the stairs to the girls’ dormitory, especially when your pace quickened after this.

    That morning at breakfast, you were nowhere to be found. Sirius took his seat next to James while skimming the length of the Gryffindor table.

     “What’re you looking for?” asked James, curiously scanning the table as well.

     “This girl with [Y/H/C] hair,” Sirius replied absentmindedly as he slowly settled down, still looking for her.

     “A girl? You’re gonna have to be more specific, mate. But bagsy snogging her.”

    “What — you can’t bagsy her, you haven’t even met her,” spat Sirius. James was rather taken aback but still seemed to be stifling his laugh at the outburst nonetheless. Sirius cleared his throat. “And need I remind you that you’re trying to get Evans?”

    “Mhm, I was just trying to see how interested you were in this girl to be preoccupied with looking for her instead of petting your hair.” More and more people began to file in to the common room and Sirius’s attention went to the door after determining you were not seated in one of the tables.

    “It’s called combing, and you should try it.” Sirius ran his hand through his hair. “It would do you good to look fresh at least once.”

    James snickered. “What can I tell you, Pads? The ladies like the rugged look.”

    “I don’t think they do,” remarked Remus.

    “Oh trust me, Remus,” James started with a smug grin. “They do. The key to it is—”

    But Sirius never found out what ‘the key to it’ was; at least, not today. After a group of younger Ravenclaws walked in, he finally spotted you right behind them and his back straightened even more. For what, he did not know.

    You took your seat beside a couple more Gryffindors and helped yourself to food on your own plate. You were busy rubbing her eyes, giving Sirius more time to watch. When you finished, you caught him looking at you, but he didn’t break the eye contact; instead, he smiled.

    “Oh, her?” exclaimed James, trying to get a better look. Sirius gently kicked his foot at how obvious he was, but he nodded in confirmation. James blew a raspberry. “I can’t bagsy, can I?”

    Sirius scowled. “No.”

    “Then I call dibs.”

   “Wha — that’s the same thing! You can’t just call dibs.” Sirius cleared his throat once more, for James was raising a brow to signify he’d proved his point. “You can’t.”

    “Wouldn’t hurt you to go on over and talk to her, would it? After all, you do it all the time.” James stretched out his arms and made gestures of triumph. “Hook, sink, liner.”

    “It’s actually ‘Hook, line, and sinker,’” said Remus.

    “No it’s not. Get a load of this guy,” James joked (or not). “Anyway, come on, I’ll come with you. But I apologize in advance if my hair works better than yours.”

    When they made it over to where you were sitting, you appeared to be manually wiping your plate with a tissue.

    “Excuse me,” started Sirius, gesturing at the plate, “May I?”

    Hesitantly and still not meeting his gaze, you handed him the plate. Sirius pulled out his wand and with a small flick, he said, “Tergeo!”

    When he handed it back, you simply nodded your head in thanks and began to stuff it in your bag.

    “Wait, are you stealing a plate?” James asked with a grin, on the verge of laughing. “You wouldn’t want to do that. See, our friend’s a Prefect and he’ll totally tell Professor Meownerva — pun courtesy of Peter, by the way.” James snickered. “I wish I’d thought of it first be—Ow!”

    Sirius had stepped on James foot. “I’ll take it from here, Bambi.”

    James managed a scowl before leaving the scene. You didn’t know what to do; so in your mind, you started devising ways to get yourself out of that situation: Make a run for it or melt on the spot; neither seemed like a good option.

    “Why are you stealing a plate?” he asked.

    “Er — long story. Have a good day.” Then you stood up and began to walk away, backing up a bit to grab a piece of sandwich before completely storming off.

    When Sirius returned the other three were there, laughing out loud together.

    James leaned closer. “Her name’s [Y/N].”

    “Then why didn’t you tell me?” exclaimed Sirius, annoyed.

    “Hook, sink, liner,” said James confidently.

    Remus cleared his throat again. “Again, it’s ‘Hook, line, and’—”

    “Yeah, sure, whatever,” dismissed James.

▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰

    On your first class (Transfiguration), the two of you clearly could not at all suppress your yawns: Sirius was doing fairly better compared to you, for he had the decency to not let his head plop face down on his desk, but he was sleepy nonetheless. This was no surprise to Sirius. After all, he hadn’t slept that morning. As for you, he did not know whether or not you slept but according to your peaceful and sleeping face, he kind of had a clue.

    He wasn’t listening, and so when everyone brought out their wands, he just cluelessly followed the others. Professor McGonagall approached the middle row and stopped just right next to you.

    “Miss [Y/L/N]?” started McGonagall. “If I’m not mistaken, bedtime ended hours ago.”

     You merely grunted. McGonagall cleared her throat. “Excuse me, Miss [Y/L/N]?”

    The professor put the back of her palm against your forehead. She lifted your face off the table and her eyes widened. “Heavens! Child, you look positively ghastly. Remus, kindly take—”

    “I’ll do it,” said Sirius. “I’m her. . .” As he trailed off, all eyes went back and forth from you, McGonagall, and him. He opened his mouth again to add, “friend. We’re friends.”

    Although McGonagall appeared to be reluctant, she let you go, advising you to visit Madam Pomfrey. Sirius risked a smug look in James’s way before following you out the door, eager to speak with you.

    “So you’re feeling unwell?” asked Sirius.

    “Look, buddy, I appreciate it but I honestly just want to go to bed.”

    “Didn’t Minnie McG tell you to visit Madam Pomfrey?”

    You halted. “I’m not sick.”

    “What do you mean? What about the drowsy eyes and the head hurting and the red nose—?”

    “Okay, now you’re making my head hurt.” You faced him, hands on your hips in defiance. “Here’s what’s gonna happen, Black: I’ll go back to my room and you’ll take a walk to the Hospital Wing and back to class.”

    “But you’re sick.”

    “Buddy, I’m really not,” you said with an irritated laugh. “I haven’t slept yet and I lost my wand. How do you think I’ll be able to go to class without a damn wand?”

    Sirius scoffed. “Then what about your runny red nose and teary eyes?”

    “Really? Are purebloods really that dense not to come up with basic ways to get out of class?” It was almost ironic. After all, you’d heard tons of brilliant things pureblooded wizards could do. Clearly they weren’t as crafty. You snorted. “Do you really want to know?”

    “Do I? Of course I do.”

    And with a bit of consideration, you recounted your gimmicks: collecting two chili peppers from the table and lightly patting your finger under your eyes to make it teary (it badly hurt), pinching your nose as soon as you left the Great Hall and sprinkling a bit of pepper on your sleeve to get yourself to sneeze, taking a quick hot shower without getting your hair wet, and more.

    “Wow,” he exclaimed under his breath, astonished. You shrugged in response, turning around to walk away. “Wait, then why did you agree for me to take you instead of Remus?”

    “Eh, well, your friend who’s trying so hard to be Michael Landon said that the Remus guy was a Prefect so I figured that he’s probably a snitch.”

    “Trust me, he’s not a snitch,” Sirius said with a laugh. “Wait, I don’t even know who Michael Landon is but could you say that thing again but to James’s face tomorrow morning at breakfast?”

    “No.” You turned your back on him, walking away. “May we never talk again.”

    “You’re welcome, by the way!” He watched as you made a turn, disappearing from view before making a face. “Ungrateful chick.”

    That entire day, you spent your time in bed, tossing and turning to keep yourself awake. Whenever someone came in during vacant time, you made sure the curtains to your four-poster bed were sealed shut while pretending to sniffle.

    It was Friday, so you were thankful for the time to rest. You were thinking of just looking for your wand tomorrow when you remembered the dog. You shifted in your bed as you slowly stood up, peeking through the curtains of your bed. Your roommates were probably still in the common room, so you peeked your head out to grab your bag from beside your bed and pulled it in before shutting the curtains close.

    You pulled out the plate you got from earlier that morning and waited.

    Waited for your roommates to come in and chat for a while.

    Waited until the lights went out.

    Waited until the only sound you could hear was the ticking of the clock in the room.

    You were about to fall asleep when what you could only assume was a bird hit itself against the window, jolting you awake.

    It was dead silent. And just like you did hours ago, you threw your feet out of your bed. Going out at this hour without a wand felt threatening, but you reassured yourself, just thinking over and over that it would be just like old times back when you didn’t know you were a witch.

    There was no one in the common room by the time you got down there. You tightened your grip on the plate in your hands, thinking about how good a weapon it would make (it probably wasn’t, but it was good enough to make you feel like you had a chance).

    You slipped out, unaware once more of the same boy you had talked to the night before following you.

    The walk down the halls and stairs without a light made your tour all the more frightening: Jumping when you accidentally graze your hand too much on one of the paintings which often earned an angry grunt from them, feeling for the next step of the stairs in fear of tripping over, and so on.

    Sirius resisted the urge to just approach you and give you your wand, resorting to just staying behind to make sure you got out safely. He was about to keep going straight ahead when you made a turn, confusing him.

    It took a few more turns for him to realize you were headed for the kitchens. He had to wait outside until you came back out a short while later with something in the plate.

    Laughing silently to himself, he followed you again to the grounds, your wand in his cloak pocket, feeling like a hundred pounds weighing him down.

    You went back to where you were last night, scouring the rocks in hopes of spotting a distinct shape among the round shapes. You cursed under your breath in disappointment as you set the plate of steak aside, your eyes falling to the dark surface of the lake. Gulping, you tied up the pant legs of your pajamas, mumbling inaudible words to yourself at what you were about to do.

    Only your feet were in the water when you heard a loud bark, causing you to jump a bit, toppling backward at the sight of the black dog. You felt the water soak your back and a bit of your head.

    “Snuffles?” you asked the dog whilst shaking yourself dry as you stood up. “There’s steak over there. It’s for you.”

    If it weren’t for his physical state, Sirius would be laughing right now. The least he could do was walk your way, sitting right beside the plate of the steak.

    “I know it’s not as good as I promised but it’s the best I could give, I’m sorry,” you said to the dog as it looked at you curiously. You bent down to pick up your cloak, drying yourself and wrapping it around you. With a huff, you squeezed the water out of your hair and sat down on the rocks once again. “I only came down here to look for my wand. It probably rolled down to the bottom of the lake already.”

    You yawned. The lack of sleep was already taking a toll on you and you couldn’t let the sun rise before you could lie down in bed.

    “Do you not like the steak?” you asked again. “You know, I got that plate for you.”

   The dog’s ears perked up, and you reached out to pet it.

    “Thank Merlin I got away from that fruitcake.”

▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰

    “I’m a fruitcake,” Sirius told his friends that morning as they fell in line for their Hogsmeade trip. James looked at his friend as if he had gone mad (well, one can say he’s halfway there). “Out of all the things I could be, I’m a fruitcake.”

    “Took you long enough to figure that out,” said Peter, who then brightened when James burst into a laugh.

    “You sure?” said Remus, adjusting his tie. “If you are, then you’re far too salty to be one.”

    “Guys, I’m ser—” He cut himself off, aware that they were waiting for an opening to pick fun at his name. “I am not joking.”

    “Because you’re. . .?” James said, encouraging him.

    Sirius let out an exasperated sigh. “Serious.”

    And just like that, the entire group howled in laughter. Rolling his eyes, Sirius scanned the crowd again, but it was the same thing as yesterday — you were once again nowhere to be found.

    “Wait, where did you get this fruitcake comment from?” asked Remus.

    Sirius recounted your past encounters with him, earning a whoop of cheer and a pat from James.

    “I have a plan,” said Sirius. “I’ll just so happen to ‘run into’ her in Hogsmeade and she’ll think I’m charming because I did my hair better today.”

    “I don't know, I reckon it’ll be hard to jump from fruitcake puppy to charming knight and shining armor,” said Remus.

    It wasn't until they were near the front of the line did Sirius realize there was still no sign of you. He then stepped out of the line, earning sudden protests from the rest of the group.

    He made a show of waving at the other three as he disappeared from view before darting down the halls and up the stairs until he made it to the common room, where he plopped down on the couch. A couple of first and second years were gathered by the window playing chess.

    Sirius kept his head down as he waited for you to come out until finally, about almost ten minutes later, heavy steps came from the girls’ dormitory as it descended down the stairs. Sirius kept his face down so as to hide himself for you, cursing at himself for being too. . .what’s a nicer way to put creepy again?

    He followed you again like the night before, going over the things he wanted to say.

    Hello, I’m actually Snuffles.

    I’m Snuffles.

    Hi, I’m not really a reincarnation of your dog because I’m actually a fruitcake!

    It just kept getting worse in his head the more that he dwelled on it, and so he resorted to just focusing on his step when you halted, causing him to run into you.

    “You,” you started, stopping with your finger pointed right at him, daring him to speak, “why are you following me?”

    “Because. . .” Sirius trailed off. Why was he following you?

    Because I'm Snuffles and I have your wand. Because I can turn into a dog. Because while I am Snuffles, I'm also not really Snuffles. Because—

    “Because I found your wand,” he blurted out. “Well, consider it as a token of appreciation.”

    “For what?”

    “For being a good friend. . . ?”

    “As far as I know, the first and only time we ever even talked was just yesterday,” you said, gesturing with your hands. “What’s your deal?”

    “I want to take a walk,” Sirius relaxed, grinning at you.

    “Then do it yourself!” you exclaimed.

    “With you, I mean.”

    Sirius’s tone calmed you down at least a bit, and so you cleared your throat. Come to think of it, he’s probably not that bad.

    You began to walk with him on your way out to the grounds. “And what do I get out of this walking thing of yours?”

    Sirius waved his hand with a flourish as we jogged ahead to stop right in front of you, tipping an imaginary hat. “Bragging rights, madam.”

    You halted. “You’re gonna have to try better than that, Vinnie Barbarino.”

    “Er — that’s good, right?” he asked, tensing up again as he composed himself.

    “Depends on how you look at it.”

    “Well, does he have nice hair?”

    “Again, depends on how you look at it.”

    “I don’t have a good feeling about this.”

    “You and me both, Vinnie,” you told him with a huff as you two set foot outside.

    “It’s certainly better than fruitcake,” he muttered under his breath. You leaned in closer, your brow raised in question. He shook his head and told you it was nothing.

    By the time you made it to the bank of the lake, you found yourself unconsciously searching the rocks for your wand.

    Sirius snorted. “You can keep looking but it’s not there.”

    “Wasn’t trying to.”

    He watched as you bent down to pick up a rock and moved closer to the lake. Just like you did a few nights ago, you swung your arm to skip a rock. It was kind of like a movie for him; the way your shoulders sunk a bit after getting only three skips. “I used to be able to do four.”

    I’d know, Sirius thought as he grinned at the irony. I was there. Maybe I really am Snuffles.

    “So, when are you going to give me my wand?” You turned around to face him again, dusting your hands as you did so.

    Sirius wanted to tell you about his alter-ego badly. But at the same time, it was right there and then Sirius realized something. He normally hated the idea of a routine; loathed it, even. But he figured that maybe, just this once, he could make an exception. He didn’t mind going out every single night as Padfoot or Snuffles if it meant the world to you to have something to look forward to. In fact, the line was starting to blur between all his names: Sirius Black, Onion, Padfoot, Snuffles, Fruitcake.

    Sirius cleared his throat and told you, “Monday morning when you have breakfast with me.”

    “I’m not gonna have breakfast with you.”

    “You are now because you’ll get a coupon.”

    “What coupon?” you asked, crossing your arms.

    “Bragging rights for spending time with me — Sirius Orion Black.”

    “You’re awfully presumptuous.”

    “Why are you so mean?” Sirius feigned pain by clutching his chest, making a show.

    You bit your cheek in attempt not to laugh. “Look, just give me back my wand.”

    “Give me your word that you’ll have breakfast with me first.”

    “Fine,” you told him. “Now will you give me my wand back?”

    Sirius let out a long sigh before taking a step forward and bending down to pick up a rock. He swung his arm backward as he made a shot.

    One, two, three, four.

    He faced you. “Hook, sink, liner.”

    “It’s ‘hook, line, and sinker,’ how could you mess that up?”

    “Damn it, James,” he cursed under his breath. “Anyway, here’s your wand.”

    This definitely took you by surprise, especially when he pulled it out of his coat pocket and handed it to you with only a friendly smile and without any hesitation.

    You grabbed it as fast as you could just in case he changed his mind at the last minute.

    Sirius fought the urge to pick fun at the fact that this was close to what one may call fetch.

    Wow, he thought. Merlin, I’m literally Snuffles. Sirius could hear his friends’ jeers light years away: Playing fetch with her, Snuffy? Will you also let her walk you? Oh, wait, you already did!

    “Thank you,” you told him. “I was literally prepared to dive down there just to get my wand. I know what a big hassle it is to get it replaced and everything.”

    “I know,” he said, pertaining to how he knew the lengths you were ready to go to just so you could find your wand, but you took what he said an answer to what you said last.

    Sirius began walking again, and you followed. “Why didn’t you go to Hogsmeade with the others?”

    “Eh, I’ve been there a lot of times. We’ll go there next time. I’ll take you to—”

    You halted. “Woah, woah, who said I’ll be coming with you?”

    “Time,” Sirius protested. “It tells you things even you wouldn’t be able to know.”

    You scoffed as you kept walking alongside him. “Eh, well, we got Professor Trelawney for that. What do you say we visit her classroom and play with balls? I mean, orbs. No, stop laughing.”

    But he didn’t stop. And honestly, neither did you; not even when you completed a turn around the grounds.

    That night was a brilliant one: You were headed back downstairs, this time keeping your wand tight in your hand as you did so.

    Just like as far as always can go, Snuffles sat by the lake, looking at the ripples that danced along its surface. Why did the dog suddenly look familiar?

    You stood right next to Snuffles, who was now looking up at you curiously.

    “I can’t stay for long,” you told the dog. “I have to sleep early, you know. I mean, you don’t, but — whatever.”

    You bent down to pick up a rock again, watching it skip three times. You cursed under your breath, “How’d he do it?”

    Snuffles, originally Sirius himself, snorted. You turned to the dog and shook your head, telling yourself it was your want of sleep playing tricks on you.

    “Fruitcake’s actually not that bad,” you started as you picked up another rock. Sirius looked up again. “I think I’ll give him a chance.”

    When you finally gave up on skipping rocks, you sat down right next to the dog. “He kinda left a ring of his, see?” You showed the dog Sirius’s ring. The dog blinked. “I’m not planning on keeping it, I’ll give it back to him on a good day.”

    A bird flew by, causing you to jump a bit. “Yep, I’m gonna need to sleep this out. Go to Hagrid’s will you? Actually, no, come with me.”

    You lead the dog to Hagrid’s hut and told it to stay there. Sirius thought it was funny seeing you boss him around in a gentler manner.

    With a wave, you ran back to the doors and dashed up the stairs until you reached the dormitories, where you hastily got in your bed and tucked yourself in.

    When breakfast came and you casually sat down right across from Sirius and beside James, a thought came to Sirius’s head again: He wanted you to know him as Sirius Black, no disguises involved. Sure, maybe he’d learn more of you if he continued doing it but . . . he wanted you to learn more of himself, too.

    As for telling you his secret identity (not Batman), he decided that it’d be best to let his future self deal with it and just enjoy breakfast with you, which is hopefully just the first of many.

    One last thing, though: Snuffles grew on Sirius. Safe to say that he got attached; so much that even when time told new people new fates, he found a way to let the name stay by using it as a safe codename as an attempt to become a lovable stray in the time of danger.

    But that doesn’t matter just yet, not when the group was busy having one of the most brilliant Mondays to date.

Taglist: @gingerale2017 @sfdlm @maybanksslut @hey-there-angels @elevatorsdoor @mrzweasley @gwlvr @1-800-itsfreerealestate @marrymetheonott @booksarealwaysbettersworlds-blog @sexysirius @turn-to-page-394-please @greenlyblue @henqtic @badass-yn @meiitanoia @gaycatlord-stuff @just2bubbly @awakendevildays @dracomalfoyposts @crazy-beautiful @adoreyou976 @catching-the-train-to-hogwarts

[kirishimaswife2819]

Them Playing Minecraft Survival With Their S/o || Midoriya, Bakugou, Kirishima, Todoroki, and Kaminari

Masterlist

Pairings: Izuku Midoriya x Reader, Katsuki Bakugou x Reader, Eijiro Kirishima x Reader, Shoto Todoroki x Reader, and Denki Kaminari x Reader

Summary: What it’s like playing Minecraft survival with the boys

Word Count: 1.4k

A/n: So, I do this weird thing where I’m obsessed with Minecraft for like a week, and don’t stop playing it, then I forget it exists for like anywhere from 1-3 months, then remember it exists and the cycle just goes on like that. And I remembered Minecraft existed earlier today, and I decided to write this. Anyway, I’ll try to get some requests uploaded tomorrow, but I’ll have to see if I’m in the mood to write them or not. Anyway, I hope you all have a great day/night! -Danielle <3

Izuku Midoriya:

He’s very peaceful when he’s playing Minecraft

He’s not in any rush to get to the end and spends a fair amount of time working on building farms for various animals and food

When you guys play together, you do pretty much everything together and don’t leave each other’s sides for the whole game

You guys also share all your resources, and split the stuff up evenly between the two of you

When y’all go caving, you each might split up for a few minutes to go into different parts of the cave and find different things, but he’d rather not stay apart for too much longer

He’s literally so calm and doesn’t generally get too mad when he dies

It’s literally impossible for him to not tame any pet he finds, you probably have a countless amount of dogs, cats, and birds, yet every time he sees an untamed one, he’ll be like, “Hey, Y/n. Do you have any bones/fish/seeds?”

“Izuku, you have like fifty at home. No.”

If you refuse to give him some then he goes out and finds it on his own and comes back for the animal, so there’s no escaping it

He’s not really focused on beating the Ender Dragon, he only really remembers that’s what he supposed to be doing when he gets bored

It probably takes y’all like nine months til you finally get around to beating the Ender Dragon, and you play for like four hours every two days or so, since you have school work to focus on as well

Katsuki Bakugou:

Warning, he blows your shit up when he gets bored, so make sure he doesn’t get bored while your playing together

He’ll share a house with you and the same storage area, but what he finds is his and what you find is yours, unless you both agree to share it

He focuses on actually beating the game, for the most part, but occasionally he likes fucking around and doing random stuff

Katsuki sucks at building, since he’s more focused on the actual game than making anything look nice (he also can’t build to save his life, but if you asked why he’s so bad at it, he would use the excuse that I just mentioned)

Doesn’t waste his time on taming animals, except for wolves

He gets two wolves, breeds them, and then makes an entire army

If you piss him off bad enough, he will not hesitate to make them all stand, before hitting you, so that they all attack you

He doesn’t play too often, since “school work is more important”, but you probably play, at the minimum, once a week, but most of the time you play twice a week

You would probably end up beating the game, after a few months, but it honestly depends on how often Katsuki decides to blow up your stuff, or just blow up stuff in general

Eijiro Kirishima:

He likes to try and build and make your world look nice, but he really sucks at it, but don’t tell him that or he might get upset. You called something he built ‘weird’ once and he took it personally, and didn’t want to play the game anymore

He’s always sort of got the goal of beating the Ender Dragon in the back of his mind, but he mostly just focuses on building and having a good time

He only has about one, at most two, of each pet, but he gets emotionally attached to them and if one of them dies, he will probably cry, and he also insists on hosting a whole funeral and building a grave for it (honestly, I would do that too, so I can’t blame him)

He also will give you all of his resources, without you asking, and you’ll be like, “Kiri, why don’t you have any armor” and he’s like, “Oh, I gave you all my iron. It’s fine though! Don’t give it back, I can live without armor!”

Then y’all get an aggressive war of passing back the iron between the two of you, until you get sick of it and just take the iron (but you sneak on his phone/computer after he goes to do something and you make him armor and put it on him)

This man protects you with his life, like you’ll be fighting like one skeleton and he’ll be all dramatic and try to protect you

It’ll probably take like a year or longer to beat the game when you’re playing with Kirishima, because he likes to, not necessarily mess around, but he likes to waste time on building useless stuff and playing with your animals and all of that

You two play almost every day for at least an hour, unless you have the day off, then you play longer

He really enjoys playing with you while your cuddling, and it’s one of his favorite things to do

Shoto Todoroki:

He had never played Minecraft but then he saw Kaminari playing it and asked him what he was doing, and then after Kaminari explained the game to him, he went to you and asked you if you’ve played it before and if it was fun

He has no idea what he’s doing, so he follows you around the whole time, as you try to teach him how to play the game

You’re going to have to teach him literally how to do everything, even if it’s simple, he lacks common sense when it comes to these kinds of games

He is the most gullible person too, like if you tell him a certain something about the game, that very obviously isn’t true, he will believe you

Once he gets a hang of the game, he still chooses to follow you around, and if he doesn’t he’ll ask you what you want him to do while you’re off doing something

He doesn’t tame any animals, because he doesn’t really see the point in it

You always have to tell him what he should do, if you don’t then he’ll sit there and just wait for you to tell him to do something

Shoto actually has a lot of fun playing the game, since he’s never played any video games before and as much as he just sits around doing nothing except staring at your screen and waiting for you to tell him what to do, he still manages to have a good time

How long it takes you to beat the game, is solely based on on your pace and your pace alone, since Shoto will just go along with whatever your doing

You two don’t play often, just whenever you two get bored and want to play something together

Denki Kaminari:

Depending on the day, he’s either really focused on actually playing the game, or he’s fucking around the whole entire time

Most of the time it’s the latter though

This man made an entire army of chickens and a very poorly built castle for them as well

He doesn’t tame too many animals, maybe a few of each, but that’s about it

He’s not a big fan of building, unless it’s to do something stupid with the building (e.g. the castle for the chickens)

Freaks out at the sight of any monsters, even though he has no problem killing them

Denki has a tendency to rage when he dies, but it’s never too bad

You guys share all of your resources, and if you try to not share with him, he will bug you until you do (he’s totally willing to share his with you too, though)

He thinks its funny to hide the item you’re looking for in a chest (if it’s like string or something that’s common and easy to get), so you’ll go out and get some, only to come back and find the item you were looking for in the same chest you were looking in before

Plays Minecraft at least two hours a day, but most of the time longer than that

Sometimes he even tries to sneak and play it during class, but the teacher always catches him within like two minutes because he talks to himself when he plays

If I’m being completely honest with you, you and Denki probably never make it to the end of the game because you’re too busy messing around, but both of you are perfectly fine with that

[fruitcoops]

Hi hello I would love to know more about this tidbit from your oher fic? “Three months after we moved in together, Remus slept on the couch for a week because he hated the way I left toothpaste on the sink.” “I wasn’t even angry about the toothpaste.” Remus got up to refill Leo’s water glass. “I was scared we were moving too fast and that everything would fall apart.” pretty please with puppy dog eyes?

Anything for you, Beyonce! Hope you enjoy your trip on the angst train >:)

Coops credit goes to @lumosinlove!

TW for couples arguments, self-isolation, mild anxiety

Day 1

“Oh my god, Sirius.” Remus shoved his toothbrush back in the holder more aggressively than he probably needed to. His hands were shaking, though whether it was from rage or something else, he wasn’t sure.

“What?”

“Really? Again?”

“What?” Sirius asked again. He had the nerve to sound truly bewildered and the bed creaked as he stood up. “What did I do?”

“You left the toothpaste uncapped and it’s all over the sink,” Remus sighed, running his hand down his face. It was too late to fight about this.

Sirius gave him a look. “Re, there’s literally one smudge.” He swiped it away with his thumb. “There. Better?”

“No, it’s not better. I told you I hate it when you do that.”

“Are you okay? You seem…upset.”

“No shit, Sherlock,” he snapped. Sirius recoiled at his tone and he bit back a second retort. “Look, I’ll be downstairs if you need me.”

“What—sweetheart—”

“Don’t call me sweetheart, okay?” Remus grabbed a fresh set of pajama pants and a long-sleeved shirt out of the dresser. He couldn’t handle being surrounded by Sirius’ smell right now. “Just…not tonight.”

 Day Two

They ate breakfast silently. Every ping of Sirius’ spoon against his cereal bowl was like nails on a chalkboard as he choked down a slice of toast and all but chugged his coffee. “So…” Sirius started, looking up at him from under his eyelashes. “Do you want to talk about what happened last night?”

“Not really,” Remus muttered. “I’m going to run to Target and get some groceries.”

“In your pajamas?”

Remus went upstairs without a word. He slept on the living room couch again that night and tried desperately not to miss Sirius’ solid warmth next to him. This is good for you both, he repeated again and again and again. Space is good. Space is healthy.

Day Three

Sirius didn’t bring it up again, but he stole quick, worried glances that Remus caught in his periphery whenever they were in the same room together. There was a gentle knock on the living room doorframe and he poked his head in, offering Remus a grilled cheese sandwich that basically broke his heart. “I’m really sorry about the toothpaste,” he said softly when Remus didn’t respond. “Um, I made dinner, but you seemed busy. So. Here.”

“Thanks,” Remus managed. As soon as he heard the bedroom door close upstairs, silent tears began streaking down his face. The sandwich tasted like sawdust. “You need to breathe,” he reminded himself. “If you move too fast it’s going to fall apart. If you can’t exist apart then you won’t be healthy together.”

And yet somehow he was unhappier than he had been in more than three months, even when they were still living in the same house.

 Day Four

Remus ran errands. Hung out with Lily in the park. Made lunch and left a brief note next to the crock pot for Sirius to find when he was done working out. Love you, it read. Simple. Normal. Healthy.

His back was beginning to cramp from the too-small couch. His feet were cold every night. Lily’s silent concern played over and over again in his head as he drifted into a fitful sleep.

 Day Five

It was getting easier to create distance with Sirius despite the fact that they shared most spaces. He offered quick smiles when they passed each other in the hallway, chaste kisses whenever he left the house, and even scooted over to make room for him on the couch when the Avatar reruns started on Nickelodeon.

“Remus, are you mad at me?” Sirius asked after a period of suffocating silence. Hearing him say his name was strange—his accent curled around it in an unfamiliar way, like he was making a conscious effort not to slip up. Remus squeezed his eyes shut. It was agonizing to be so close to him and yet so far away. They always cuddled on the couch.

“No,” Remus said in a small voice. “No, I’m not mad at you.”

“Is this…are you breaking up with me?” From the soft huff of air that came after it, Remus knew he had been sitting on this for a long time.

“What? No!” He turned, making eye contact for the first time in days. It was brutal and made him feel raw. “No, I love you.”

Sirius’ shoulders folded in slightly and he fidgeted with the edge of the blanket. “Are you coming back to bed soon?”

“I—I don’t know,” Remus forced himself to say. I love you! He wanted to scream. I love you so much it’s scaring me. I miss everything about you, even the toothpaste smudges on the sink and the way you look at me when you find more of my socks scattered around. I miss holding you and racing shopping carts in Target with you. I miss your laugh and your smile and just being near you. “Probably. I’m not sure. I’m sorry.”

“Take your time.” The words sounded like they pained him. “Take all the time you need.”

“This isn’t payback,” Remus said. “Sirius, this is not payback for the time we spent hiding, okay?”

Sirius gave him an astonished look. “How did you…?”

“Because I know you.” He was miserable. So fucking miserable. “I know you, Sirius, and I don’t want to hurt you.”

One question hung unspoken between them. Then why are you staying away?

 Day Six

Sirius was gone when he woke up, but a sticky note in his careful handwriting rested on the end table near Remus’ face. He frowned as he sat up—he been too drained to deal with tangled blankets when he went to sleep, but sometime in the night they had been smoothed all the way up to his shoulder and a second one had been added to cover his feet. Remus shoved down the urge to burst into tears and grabbed the note to distract himself.

Remus, it began. Ouch.

Pots and I are taking Harry to the park today, I’ll be back around six. Lily said she wanted to talk with you at some point so keep an eye out for her calls. Thanks for picking up extra pasta at the store.

Love you,

Sirius

He smoothed his thumb over the note, feeling each bump and curl of Sirius’ pencil because his vision was too blurry to make out the words a second, third, fourth time. “This is bullshit,” he said to himself. “This is bullshit!”

When the slight echo of his shout faded out, he set it back on the table and curled up, drawing both blankets tight around himself. “Why am I doing this?”

1.      You had sex before you went on a real date

2.      You went through a traumatic event and are still working through it

3.      You’re so fucking scared of how much you love him

4.      You want to spend forever with him because he’s your best friend, too

5.      Normal couples date for at least a year before moving in together

6.      Normal couples—

“Fuck it.” He shook his head to clear the anxiety list from his brain. He had been reciting it to himself for days as some sort of convoluted justification. “Fuck it. I love him and this is bad for both of us. So what if we’re not a normal couple? What the hell is a normal couple? We’re never going to be normal and I love him, I love him, I…”

The low sobs that resonated in his chest burned in the best way. His breathing was even, but he just couldn’t repress this anymore. “I’m a coward,” he sniffled, sliding further under the heavy blankets. His pajamas only smelled like laundry detergent and regret. “And an idiot.”

The phone rang and he picked it up. “Hey, Lils.”

“Well, you sound like a wreck.”

“I know.”

“What’s going on, Re?”

“I’m an idiot.”

“And?”

“And I’m in love with him.”

“And?”

“I’m done self-flagellating to try and fit the societal standards of a healthy relationship based on heterosexuality.”

“There’s my Remus,” she said. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really.”

“Are you okay? I was worried about you.”

“Better now. I’ll fix this when Sirius gets home.”

“Good. You’re both suffering from this.”

 Day Seven

When Remus woke up, it was pitch-black outside. “Oh, fuck,” he whispered to the ceiling, scrubbing at his itchy eyes. The wall clock read 12:06. After another thirty minutes of crying, he had cleaned the whole house top to bottom, went for a run, and then apparently passed out on the couch for five hours.

Fix this. In any other circumstance, Remus would have spent at least an hour fretting over every tiny detail. But this was Sirius. This was about owning the fact that he was happiest with Sirius and that he had unintentionally hurt him by trying to create distance that they didn’t actually need.

With a heavy sigh, he dragged himself up the stairs and knocked softly on the bedroom door. There was a moment of silence, then a sleepy voice. “Re?”

“Hey, baby. Can I come in?”

“Yeah.”

Sirius hadn’t bothered turning on the light, so the room was dark as he slipped in and closed the door behind him. Sudden nervousness washed through him. “I’m sorry.”

There was a rustle as Sirius sat up. “Why did you do that?”

“I thought—” His mouth was so dry. “It’s so stupid.”

“Please tell me.”

“I thought we needed space. I didn’t want space, you didn’t want space, but I was afraid we were moving too fast and that we’d suddenly wake up one morning and hate each other. That everything would crumble because we rushed into everything.”

“Hmmm.”

“Are you mad at me?”

“After day three, yeah. And then I was just worried. You seemed really unhappy and I didn’t know why.” Sirius paused. “Um, I called your mom.”

“What? When?”

“Friday morning. That was what, day…four? I heard you crying downstairs and I was afraid someone had died or something.” His voice wobbled. “She was worried, too, but she said you might just need to work through it.”

“I’m so sorry, Sirius.”

“I know.”

“Can I…?”

“C’mere.” Sirius reached over and lifted the edge of the covers up on Remus’ side—as far as he could tell, they had been left tucked in the whole time. “I love you,” he murmured as Remus curled up.

“I love you so much.” He carefully reached out and brushed their hands together, and Sirius wrapped an arm around him to pull him close. “So much, you have no idea. That was the worst week.”

Sirius’ heartbeat was steady as Remus kissed the top of his head and melted into his warmth. “I capped the toothpaste in the bathroom.”

When Remus laughed, it was a little teary. “I say this with all the love in the world, Sirius, but I couldn’t care less about the goddamn toothpaste. I care about you.”

His hold tightened and Remus squeezed his eyes shut. I know, it said. I’ve got you. I love you. You can stay.

[dianapana]

SH Day 7- Genin Era

Rated T

Honestly I’m never confident in writing in the original Ninja Universe, my depiction of most of the characters is so OOC and that works fine with AUs but I fell like I need to be in character to write in the Ninja Universe, not sure I achieved it in this story but yes…either way, I hope you enjoy.

~Love Dia.

@sasuhinamonth

Hinata POV

When Iruka sensei first announced the teams, I was disappointed that Naruto-kun and I were on different teams, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that it was actually best that way. No matter how hard I try I always get flustered and distracted around him and for a ninja focus is important, especially in the middle of important and dangerous missions. And even despite being on different teams, I’m always able to find him around town and look from afar, just seeing him is enough for me. I got used to this way of thinking for a while now, thus when Kurenai mentioned that we’d go on a mission together with team 7 my anxiety levels rose higher than my excitement to see Naruto. I was already too weak and dragging my team down, father always made sure to remind me just how much of a disappointment I was, our initial track record of failed missions, or barely passed ones only added as proof to his words. I was terrified I was going to put everyone in danger, I was scared to make a fool of myself, I was filled with fear that was threatening to overflow from deep inside me.

I tried approaching Kurenai about the issue, tried to ask her to allow me to stay behind, but they needed every one in our team in order to track a run-away criminal, they needed Shinos bugs, Kiba’s nose and my eyes. Naruto’s team was in charge of fighting him if necessary and bringing him into the village. Kiba had been furious when he heard our job was to be a map basically, but I was glad we wouldn’t have to fight. However, my relief was short-lived when Kurenai mentioned that it was an A-class criminal so there was a high chance that team 7 would need our help in combat as well.

The day of the mission started pretty similarly to my usual days, I got dressed, packed bentos for everyone and left bright and early for the training ground where we were told to meet up. The whole way there I kept thinking about what I should do if Naruto was already there, what if it were just the two of us there, what would we talk about? Or would we just sit in silence? However, my worries were futile, Naruto wasn’t there, it was only Shino, I and Uchiha-san. Shino greeted me, but Uchiha-san didn’t acknowledge my existence, the three of us stayed in silence which usually I wouldn’t have minded but my thoughts were hectic and I would have liked any sort of distraction. Slowly more people joined, Kurenai, followed by Sakura and Kiba and soon there was no longer silence, Sakura was talking to Sasuke and Kiba was complaining to Kurenai-sensei. After a few minutes of being ignored Kiba let it go and came to talk to me, he was telling me about some of the new dogs his older sister rescued and Akamaru placed himself in my lap for pets, it almost felt like a normal day and for a moment I forgot all about Naruto and the joined mission, that was of course until Naruto appeared, he had been running to get here on time, you could tell he was hurrying by his slightly red cheeks, the rapid way in which he breathed and the droplets of sweat rolling down his temples.

His sunny disposition was wonderful from far away but it was maybe a bit too bright and blinding from this close. I followed him with my eyes as I were so used to do, not even registering he was walking to me until he was barely a few feet apart, his eyes focused on me with a smile.

“Mornin’ Hinata-chan” I loved how my name sounded on his lips, I blushed hard and murmured a reply, before any more talking could occur Kakashi-sensei arrived as well. Kurenai laid down a map for us and told us to gather around, I was too conscious of Naruto’s presence so I moved as far away from him as I could, I needed to focus on the explanation, my distraction could already be seen for in my attempts to distance myself from Naruto I bumped into Uchiha-san. I screeched, took a step to the side and apologized but he didn’t acknowledge me this time either. The only nod I got from him was when I gave everyone their bentos right before we split into smaller teams.

Thankfully I was able to focus on the plan and understood my part in it. I was to be in front of the team together with Kakashi-sensei and Uchiha-san, I’d use my Byakugan at the beginning until my chakra level was about half and then took small breaks if we hadn’t found the criminal by then. I was glad that Naruto wasn’t directly next to me, however, I was extremely uneasy around Kakashi and Sasuke as well, I had hoped at least Kiba would be next to me, but he was with Sakura and Kurenai to the left while Shino and Naruto were in the back.

“Ok Hinata, you can turn it on whenever you want, if you see anything unusual let us know immediately,” Kakashi said as we stepped outside Konoha grounds. The scroll with the mission information had a portrait of the man and information about his chakra type as well, which all in all helped me a lot, I knew exactly what I was looking for, thus being able to ignore all the movement around me that belonged to the team. The criminal had escaped from Suna three days ago and from their sources, he would pass through the forest outside Konoha somewhere today or tomorrow depending on his speed.

We had been running for almost 3 hours when I felt my chakra levels falter for a moment. I had never used it for such an extensive period of time, plus Kakashi and Sasuke’s speed was much higher than I was used to, all in all, I was having a tough time keeping up with them. I turned off my Byakugan when I felt my left eye hurting badly. “My chakra needs to recharge” I let them know and Kakashi nodded. We didn’t stop running, however, we slowed down significantly in order for Shino and Naruto to catch up with us, Shino too had been using his bugs and was tired, thus it was only Kiba that was still actively searching. Once my chakra felt stable enough, I turned on my Byakugan again, I could still feel discomfort in my left eye but ignored it for the time being.

Another hour passed when Akamaru barked loudly and not even a second later I spotted the criminal, he was far to the left, Kurenai’s team was maybe 45 minutes away from him, I informed Kakashi of that and we too turned to run that way, slowly increasing our speed.

“Hinata, we need you to keep your Byakugan active and let us know exactly where he is going, Shino if you can send some poisonous bugs ahead, our best plan is to knock him out without much fight needed”

The closer we got the more I felt his chakra overpowering me, the faster we ran, the faster he ran too, I wasn’t sure if he knew we were on his tracks, he had made no movement that indicated he knew. It was a split-second event, he was one, he was alone and then there were two others. before I could even open my mouth to tell everyone I felt a sharp pain at the back of my neck and the world slowly started getting blurry and black, the last thing I saw was Uchiha-san’s hand reach out to me.

Sasuke POV

The mission started about 2 hours ago but I could hear Hyuuga’s breath getting heavier and heavier with each step, I kept waiting for her to tell us she was tired, but she didn’t. Kakashi was quite far ahead of me and her but I’m sure he knew she was tired as well. Finally, an hour later she admitted to being tired, I turned for a mili-second to look at her and her left eye was closed, you could see the eye twitching underneath her lid, she had exhausted herself. We met up with the dobe and Aburame, I expected Hyuuga to lose her composure just as she had at the meeting place, but she was either too focused or too tired to give Naruto any attention. Even Naruto was uncharacteristically quiet.

The mission had been a long run thus far, that was until Hinata finally saw the suspect in the distance, we changed our path the way she guided us and kept increasing our speed. Kakashi told her to keep her Byakugan on and she made no comments. Out of everyone I was the closest to her and I could hear her getting more tired by the second, I kept mental tabs on her just in case she was going to pass out. For a split second, I heard her breath patter change, as if she was about to speak and I turned to look at her, her left eye was bleeding and from behind her came a man that hit her hard with the side of his hand on the nape of her neck, I reached out to her and barely caught her, held her against me before we hit the ground. Before checking how Kakashi and the others were faring I cupped her face and brought it up to my ear, for an agonizing long second, I couldn’t hear or feel her breath, but thankfully she was breathing, she was alive.

“Sasuke, take care of Hinata” Kakashi ordered, he had already knocked out the man that attacked us and was carrying currently carrying him on his back while writing a scroll and running at the same time. I picked Hinata up and continued running too.

“Is she ok?” Aburame asked and I nodded trying to ease his worry. I had been worried too, for a moment there I panicked, what would I have done had she died? Her left eye was still bleeding slowly, it looked as if she was constantly crying blood, I could feel my shirt getting wet with her blood, having her blood on me made me feel even more in charge of her safety.

“I found them too, I put a bug on each of them, there are three men in total” the information was welcomed “Kurenai-sensei’s team should reach them about 10 minutes before we do, I managed to inject with a small dose of poison one of them, the other two killed my bugs” Despite Hinata’s approximation beforehand, the criminal and his partners, apparently, were running too, all we could do is try to catch up to them in due time.

Holding her into my arms I felt oddly detached from the mission, for the majority of it I had been distracted, more interested in her state of being than the mission itself. Today had been one of my first interactions with her, what was it about her that caught my attention? Her blush and stutter when Naruto was concerned? Her loud scream when she bumped into me? The bento she offered me with no alternative reason? Either way, her presence distracted me and I did not appreciate that, her weight in my arms felt comfortable and even that annoyed me.

“Sasuke, you turn around with Hinata, I trust that there are no other men involved with the criminal. We can’t be sure how long the chase will take, Shino will keep trying to poison them and we hopefully will be done soon, however Hinata needs medical attention”

My detachment to the mission only furthered, I asked no questions, I gave no reply but simply turn around and run towards Konoha. Despite the extra weight and the long run thus far I wasn’t tired, I was oddly energized, my blood was boiling and I was running even faster than I have ever had. We were about 5 or 6 hours away from Konoha, but I wanted to reach it in 4 if possible. My focus returned and I heard every little leaf crunch on the ground, every little branch being moved by the wind.

When we were getting closer to Konoha, meaning maybe under an hour away Hinata moved into my arms, I stopped abruptly and looked down at her, her eye had stopped bleeding 2 hours ago thankfully, her complexion which had been white before was rosier and I could feel her sweating under her enormous jacket. I lowered myself to one knee and propped her legs onto my knee thus using that hand to undo her zipper, then without much thought I took off her jacket and threw it on the forest floor, it was covered in blood, sweat and dirt anyway, she wouldn’t miss it. I got back up and adjusted my grip on her, my hand was touching the skin of her upper arm, it was moist and hot but soft. I was about to start running again when her eyes fluttered open. The sclera of her left eye was blood-red, her right eye was also red but not quite to the same extent.

“Uchiha-san…? Where are we?” her voice was meek, but for the first time, she was looking me straight in the eye.

“We are maybe 1 hour away from Konoha”

“D-did the mission end…? where is everyone else?”

“The mission hadn’t been over when we departed form the group. Kakashi sent me to take you to the hospital. I am sure he assessed the situation and decided they could finish without us and that this was the best course of actions”

I had no expectations of how she would react, but her sudden sobs took me by surprise. Without even realizing it, I brought her body closer to mine and raised it a little. “Hold onto my neck” I ordered, Hinata looked at me with glossy eyes but obeyed nonetheless. I resumed running in that position. Was I offering her privacy to cry? Was this meant to comfort her? Even I couldn’t say.

The rest of the run went by fast, after crying for a while Hinata fell asleep, in the meantime, I started nothing things that I was grateful for. I was grateful for her short hair since the wind couldn’t blow it in my face, I was grateful for the soft skin of her arms since they felt nice onto my neck, I was grateful for her height since it made her the perfect size for me to carry, I was grateful that she was asleep and not dead.

When we reached the hospital, I placed her onto the bed in the room a nurse guided me to. She didn’t let go of my neck for a moment and whispered “it’s a-all my f-f-fault, I ruined another m-mission. I’m so s-s-sorry” her voice broke, and for some reason hearing her say that hurt me as well. I didn’t know how to comfort her, so all I did was rub circles on her back with my hand, I sat down on the bed and allowed her to keep holding onto me for a bit longer. “You did nothing wrong, thanks to you the others knew where the enemy was. We failed you because we didn’t notice the man behind” I had heard about the Hyuuga blind spot from father, but had forgotten about it until that moment. I wasn’t sure f my words or actions were of any help to her, but she didn’t cry, she was just hiding, and even that didn’t last long, for the doctor came to check on her.

I walked out of the hospital and went home to rest, in the middle of the night, hours later I heard a knock at my door, it was Kakashi-sensei. He came to let me know everything went well and to ask about Hinata. I told him what the nurse told me, a blood vessel busted in her left eye, she was knocked out and had a slight concussion, but nothing major. They were going to let her out of the hospital in the morning. After Kakashi told me some more about the mission he left for the night and I made a sudden decision.

I found myself in front of the hospital. I knew which window belonged to Hinata’s room, I had seen her through it when I left that evening. So instead of going through the door, I decided to jump onto one of the trees and then right outside her window. I tapped it lightly, not wanting to wake her if she were asleep, but thankfully she wasn’t.

“Uchiha-san?” she said as she opened the window for me to get into the room. She looked confused and embarrassed. I walked to her bed and took a seat on the side of it.

“I just wanted to let you know the mission was a success, everyone is fine.” Her eyes widened. “You didn’t ruin it, as I said before they couldn’t have done it without you” it felt odd o say that and the more the words gained meaning into my mind the more embarrassing they became. “Either way, I just thought you’d worry so I came to tell you that there’s no need for that”

I got up and wanted to leave, the room felt small and warm, but Hinata grabbed the back of my shirt. “Thank you” she mumbled the words about a dozen times, each time a little quieter and broken than before. I wanted to stay and comfort her some more, but I also didn’t want to see her crying anymore. My feelings were confusing me and so was she, so I simply replied ‘go to sleep’ before going out the window and leaving her behind into the dark hospital room.

The first week of Sh month done oof, can't believe I pulled through, especially since I didn't really plan on posting anything but day 1 so most stories (apart from day 6) I things I randomly wrote at 1 am. Thank you for reading and interacting <3

[coffeeflavoredcookies]

Krbk Multichap Fic Recs

The order doesn’t particularly matter. The ratings also vary, so be careful and make sure you read the tags to know what you’re getting into! Also, they are all completed.

Anyway, here we go !

Tonight we’re the sea by idratherhaveyou. (Artist Bakugo, Kirishima moves to the seaside! It’s so damn good! The writing, the characterization, the feelings, the story! The Everything!!!)

But I’ve got an angry heart by newamsterdam. (Dormmates, College AU! Baku wants peace, Kiri wants to make friends! Very good! A little (lot) angsty, but like honestly, VERY good)

Slow it down, go easy on me by newamsterdam. (Time travel AU that’s got everything to make it perfect. A marvel <3)

The fool’s rush by Chonideno. (Future AU! Roommates. Mutual pinning. Lots and LOTS of pinning. So fluffy you’ll cry)

Something just like this by imatrisarahtops. (such a feel good fic, following the themes of the krbk week 2018. Pinning, comfort and getting together)

The best part is falling by Claus_Lucas. ( (Bakugo’s had enough of Kiri not understanding his own feelings. It’s hilarious and cute)

You give me a quite mind and I’ll love you by Claus_Lucas. (the boys do lot of figuring out after the rescue, it’s good)

When you’re in love with your best friend by ellieb3an. (5+1! Bakugo realizes he’s in love with Kiri! It’s real good)

When you’re in love with your boyfriend by ellieb3an. (the long distance relationship that’s gonna melt your heart (the sequel) )

Coming up for air by ellieb3an. (Kiri learns to cope with the trauma after getting stuck in his own quirk, it’s very emotional and so so good! A++ caring baku! It’s amazing!)

Easy now, with my heart (careful now, with my heart) by multiclassmaps. (or how their classmates figure out they’re dating, very good!)

All I knew I could ever need was in front of me by multiclassmaps. (Married pro hero with a dog, perfectly fluffy and warm)

So take my hand, you life will be brighter by multiclassmaps. (hockey AU, amazing! Absolutely amazing! A must read! And reread!)

your heart's a mess, you won't admit to it; I'm desperate to connect- and you- you can't live like this by multiclassmaps. (unrequited love that’s not actually unrequited. So? Damn? Good?)

To the tune of Bakushima series (mostly canon compliant. How Baku and Kiri went from being Friends With Benefits to properly getting together. amazingly well written and just go read it!) (rating varies!!!)

Slow and steady series by Siij. (They get together. They figure things out. This is amazing, and the writing is great and the fluff!! Also, ratings vary)

Perihilion by tauontauff. (a blessing, a true blessing, soft, sweet, heart-melting. Christmas themed!!!)

One step closer by tuslee. (angsty, Bakugo gets in a car accident, his road to recovery is slow and difficult. Katsuki and Ochako friendship centric)

Burn like the sun by Kivea. (Firefighter AU! amazing Bakusquad interactions, I cried at times from how much I laughed! It’s great <3)

Crow’s feet by PotatoJesus. (Established relationship, future AU! really soft and sweet)

Heart stains on the carpet by cityboys. (bodyguard AU, the fake dating AU that started them all! cityboys is just amazing)

2AM by cityboys. (Bakugo goes back to his home town and is forced to work in his mother’s café. It’s cityboys, just read it)

Fucking feelings series by Equinurmae. (Hilarious, Baku and Deku friendship, Baku goes full gay panic and asks Deku for help)

I’ll save you myself by Obesessed_As_A_Coping_Mechanism. (very sweet and kinda gets hot at the end)

Just another sexuality crisis at midnight by PaperTrees. (I don’t know how to describe it without spoiling it, but it is AMAZING!)

Stuck in the blast zone series by Nickolefricle. (the interactions are AMAZING, and the little stories are really REALLY good)

Spring a season about love by Tears are salty. (kmjr and krbk and bkjr friendship. Very cute)

Today is not good so far by generic_handle. (Established relationship. Kiri invites Baku for night out with their friends but for some reason, it sets the blonde off. very funny)

2AM knows all secrets by Unbrekable_Red_Riot. (Baku has nightmares, Kiri helps. It’s REALLY good. Also, slight one-sided kmkr)

Kiss me you fool by Shizuumi151. (it’s a series of independent one-shots. Very sweet. The ratings vary)

Of fading Light and cooling space by SilentKnight. (Kirishima thinks baku is dead for 80% of this. Very painful. Very good)

Acceptance and denial by Poteto. (Kiri drags Baku into his attempt at coming out to his parents. It’s Very good!)

Friday I’m in love by mcgreys. (The one where Bakugo thinks Deku is in love with him and hilarity ensues)

Anyone can be a hero by RedBluePalatar. (Future fic. The one where a certain video forces kiri to give up hero life, until he meets Baku again a couple of years later. Very good!)

Nightmares aren’t explodable series by PurplePersnickety. (Or the one where Kiri is cranky. I can’t say more without spoiling but go read it it’s really good!!)

Everyone knows that cats are indepandant by PurplePersnickety. (the daemon AU where Kiri works in a coffee shop and Baku has a Lioness as a daemon! It’s so good!!)

Rosy by mr_todoroki. (the one where Baku steals Kiri’s first kiss and our cutie catches feelings!)

Red by mr_todoroki. (And they were roommates! Kiri is discovering things about himself and Baku does not like his new friend).

Sunchaser by Chonideno. (Denial of feeling?? Mutual pinning?? A lot of feelings? Like looking through a fogged glass? Very beautiful and poetic! An absolute must read! My heart still does weird things when I think about it!)

A heart swelled to bursting by eggstasy (established relationship. Lots of Bakuangst but also Baku growth. eggstasy writing a multichap, do you even need convincing, my dudes)

Cause the dark’s not taking prisoners tonight by imatrisarahtops (they’re both having nightmares and trying to help each other. Lost of angst but it’s so good)

This ain’t a fairy tale by alpha_hydra (kiri gets hit by a quirk that makes everyone fall in love with him. Baku is already in love. Smutty)

Moment of truth by Fanficismything. (the proposal AU. It’s really soft! You see it as Baku falls in love! It’s really good!)

Breath of the wild AU by Stylish_Racoon (as the title says. Bakugo is Link, Kirishima is Zelda and sometimes I wish I could wipe my memory just so I can experience it again)

Broken Bridges by DeathBelle (Kirishima comes back from aboard and they work together. Smutty)

Quote love unquote by newsamsterdam (it’s the fake dating celeberities AU we all want, it’s perfect, it’s a must read it’s everything)

Of Ghosts and other Inaccurate Things by chezka (Kirishima never made it to UA because he died and now he’s haunting Bakugo or so they thought. Listen, It’s really really good!)

The Magic Song by Zacksy (the cindrealla AU we all needed! A really sweet fic)

In the Kingdom On the Sea by deviance (Kirishima is a Kraken Merman (a REALY big one) and Bakugo is a pirate that’s madly in love with him)

Inevitable by Legendaerie (Pro-heroes, partners, Bakugo taking care of Kirishima and showing his love through that while Kirishima remains oblivious! It’s really good, like really insanely good with all the right fluffy feelings)

Ransom in Red by Shippeh (sort of cindrella AU that’s really good)

Sun Sets Red by Shippeh (College AU where kr and dk are roomies and Bakugo’s the hot not-boyfriend that came attached to Deku. It’s really good)

Heartbeat Thunder by Shippeh (ABO in UA where Kirishima is an Alpha that hates his secondary gender and is afraid to rut and Bakugo is an omega who relies too much on instincts and doesn’t believe feelings matter.

Built to Fall by bigstupidjellyfish (Post break-up pro hero krbks become partners and fight villains and mend their relationship and finally, FINALLY fuck! It’s very good )

there's a space here shaped like you by kingdoms (Fantasy Bakugo lands on Kirishima’s lap (figuratively) and Bakugo is jelly! Very good)

you can get what you want or you can just get old by hyperlight (Bakugo gets hit by a quirk that sends him to a future where he messed up everything and lost himself to become the number one (and still never managed it). Kirishima in this word is a really badass hero that doesn’t give too fucks about rankings! He’s super mature and harder but gosh I’m in love.)

half in and half out of the light by gangnamstiles (Kirishima gets discharged from the army, but he’s got a lot of scars left from his time there, Bakugo’s a rock throught it all, and so are their friends. They were a band before adulting, and now they’re tryna put it back together. It’s really emotional and good)

Worth a Thousand Words by awareoftheconcept (Kirishima thinks Bakugo is dating Camie and jealousy ensues but their friendship is so sweet it don’t really matter, plus they make it in the end. Did i say the way their friendship is portrayed is everything? They just REALLY love each other. I love this fic with my whole heart)

Out of the Slipstream by Ashii Black (ashiiblack) (and AU where th boys are professional cyclists and this Bakugo’s really hot and also they soft with some jelly Bakugo, very good. E rated)

Burden of Proof by kytrin, Mslead (it’s murder mystery with magic and romance and a great relationship development! It’s really really good! Mind the rating tho!)

In the Dark of the Night by arxaris (Katsuki’s the emperor of rome and Kirishima’s a Gladiator that catches his eyes. It’s a sort of fwb that evolves into something more because these boys can’t resist each other. It’s sweet and hot, very good all around.)

From Fire and Ashes, Flourishing by Milligramme (Bakugo’s a volcano god and kirishima’s the priest that gets chosen to «worship» him. They fall in love, it’s very good)

nuclear seasons by qactus (The lifeguard AU we don’t deserve. It’s a slow burn and it’s so damn good. Rated E).

the great wide somewhere by amaranthinecanicular (Beauty and the beast AU. References to the fantasy AU from the popularity polls that are integrated to the story so well. It’s just. Very very good)

Just a Few More Minutes in Heaven by loki_dokey (Bakugo is in love with Kirishima, everyone knows it except for him (including Kirishima) It’s very VERY good) 

Eyes Like Dragon-Fire by Dragonire (and excellent fantasy AU slowburn. The world building is amazing and the developement of their relationship is great. It’s really good!!) Rated M

CALYPSO by gummyconcrete (No quirk AU, where they try to figure out their feelings in the few months they’ve left before graduation. Lots of feelings)

Bakugo’s Diary by Gyashi (It’s a sweet little story told in drawn diary entries)

Freshly Ground Coffee by arxaris (Cute barista!Kirishima PH!Bakugo AU)

Demon Kirishima Loves His Human by deviance (A series of connected one shots that deal with Demon!Kirishima and Not so human!Bakugo. Very good)

[aceofspadegrass]

Chishyia walks in on niragi and his gf crying while watching a movie

Chishiya: wtf happened to you guys

Niragi: a dog died!

Chishiya:so, what? Dogs die all the time

Niragi and gf : *sobs even louder*

Dog Movies Are Sad

Characters: Chishiya Shuntaro, Niragi Suguru, Kuina Hikari

Genre: Fluff with the briefest mention of angst because of the movie

1.4k words

Look, Niragi and his girl had good reason to cry. Also, I left the girlfriend mostly vague, so do what you please with that.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chishiya was awoken by the sound of his door being slammed open. He doesn’t bother to let whoever decided to wander in that he was awoken so abruptly, but he at least cracks an eye open as he watches a dark figure wander in, avoiding the figure trying to sleep as the sun shone over the Beach and instead wandering around the room. Chishiya listens to the footfalls, the way they settled and unsettled on the ground, picking out who the mystery figure was immediately.

Yeah, he didn’t want to get up for him. He still keeps an eye open to make sure Niragi didn’t do anything that required attention, but Niragi seemed intent on something. He didn’t even seem angry and there to cause general havoc, just investigative in nature. Which seemed strange, as Niragi was a loose cannon at best, and this was his room. His beloved nemesis’ room.

Which he could mess up.

Still, Chishiya kept quiet as he watched Niragi, even as Niragi pops out of his view for a few seconds at best. The sound of drawers being open and shut and opened again was the only sound in the room, other than Niragi walking around. Chishiya rolls over just to check if Niragi even knew he was in the room, and the noises stop, Chishiya watching through a barely lifted eyelid as Niragi slowly turns around, staring straight at Chishiya.

It was a good ten seconds of silence before Niragi scoffs, and approaches the bed, and Chishiya feels his cheek poked by cold metal, a bit roughly in fact. “ Hey. Egg yolk. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. Hey, you overrated cat in heat, wake up. Hey. Hey. Hey. Chishiya.” Each part was accentuated by a poke in the cheek, getting a little more impatient as time went on. Chishiya didn’t feel to be walking around with a bruised cheek, so he gently grabs the tip of the gun and pushes it away, finally opening both his eyes and offering the smallest of smiles.

“ I’m awake. What are you doing in my room?” Chishiya rubs his eye with the other hand, sitting up and keeping an eye on Niragi. He doesn’t let go of the gun, and judging by the eleventh poke that was now softened by the resistance Chishiya put on it, it was for good reason. Niragi scoffs, and only steps away, slinging his gun back over his shoulder, leaning to one foot. “ Where’s the remote.” Chishiya merely raises an eyebrow, Niragi narrowing his eyes. “ Hah? The remote?” Chishiya leans back, supported by his hands on the mattress. His hair probably looked liked a mess, but that didn’t matter right now, he was curious over what Niragi was talking about. “ Yeah. The remote. You know, for the TV?” “….. And I have it���… why?” He tilts his head, face neutral. Niragi rolls his eyes, Chishiya internally laughing at how irritated he was getting from Chishiya alone. Niragi steps closer to him, and leans down, coming face to face with Chishiya. He smelled like chocolate and the faint hint of something sugary. Likely something he ate. Chishiya straightens his head and looks straight at Niragi, face unchanging, the two locked into a staring contest. Chishiya wins again the moment Niragi blinks, and Niragi huffs, grabbing the underside of Chishiya’s chin roughly. “ You know why. Don’t lie, I heard you watching Mean Girls with that bimbo that always hangs around you at 3 in the morning yesterday.” “ Why were you awake at three in the morning anyways?” Chishiya asks, even as Niragi shakes his head back and forth a little as if it would make a difference with his hand.

“ Mind your fucking business.” Niragi scolds, but Chishiya decides not to, because it’s better to know as much as possible. So he asks again, Niragi growling and pushing his head away, Chishiya letting his body free fall back onto the pillow, Chishiya watching Niragi glare at him.

“ Just tell me where the remote is, possum boy.” Chishiya blinks, then opens his fucking mouth again. “ And what do I get in return?”

“ Fuck you.” “ Maybe tomorrow.” Chishiya retorts, smirking. Niragi grumbles and picks up a nearby rubber ball that Chishiya was messing with earlier, throwing it at Chishiya’s face. It lands and bounces off, Chishiya keeping a straight face, which only makes Niragi glare at him even harder. “ Bitch.” Chishiya just smirks, but he relents, shifting and pulling the TV remote from under the blanket, tossing it in Niragi’s direction. Niragi catches it, offering one last glance before leaving the room. Chishiya watches him go, and finally gets up for real. “ Shame, I wanted to sleep longer. No matter.” Chishiya says to himself, stretching and walking off to the connected bathroom to look a little more decent for the day.

—————————————————————————————————

The sun was beginning to set, and Chishiya was wandering around the Beach, hands in his pockets. Kuina had to go do something, so Chishiya was left alone today. He didn’t mind, he was used to being alone, and this way he could do whatever he so pleased without having a second pair of eyes nearby. He walks by a room, and his ears pick up on faint crying, Chishiya pausing for a second. He listens to the crying sounds, one higher and the other lower, but definitely crying. He also picks up the sound of a song playing, although Chishiya doesn’t immediately recognize it. 

“ Why did he have to die! He was such a good chaotic boy!” A female’s voice wails, and Chishiya immediately becomes curious as he recognizes the voice. He heads towards the door, then opens the door without even knocking.

The sight he’s greeted with is….. well… something. For starters, the room was dimmed, the television rolling through credits for a movie, and sitting on the couch was one of the Beach’s most feared members and his girlfriend wailing on the couch, which Chishiya didn’t bother to remember the name of. She was a firecracker herself though, so Chishiya keeps his guard the same as with Niragi, in a snarky way that was always amusing to watch. 

Chishiya leans against the doorframe as he watches how pitiful the scent was. Niragi wasn’t crying nearly as bad as his girlfriend, but there was an obvious puffiness to his eyes in what the credits did manage to illuminate and from what he could see. Neither have seemed to have noticed him, until Chishiya cleared his throat, Niragi’s head snapping towards the door with a sniffle and a half-hearted glare.

“ The fuck do you want, you spoiled onion.” Catlike eyes flicker up and down Niragi and his girlfriend, the settle on the lizard’s face. “ What happened to you guys?” The girlfriend sniffles loudly, reaching for a tissue and blowing her nose. “ Can’t you see the movie?!” Chishiya shakes his head, coming in and picking up the CD box and reading the title. “ Marley & Me….?” The girlfriend nods, dabbing her eyes with a new tissue. Chishiya just looks to Niragi, who was rubbing his eyes with his arm. “ What happened?” Chishiya asks again, hands still hanging out in his pockets. “ A dog died! That’s what happened!” Niragi barks, voice a little watery. It was pathetic, Chishiya’s lip twitching into a small sneer. “ So…. what? Dogs die all the time.”  Chishiya intones, and that set off round 2 of the waterworks, Niragi and his girl bursting into tears again and leaning on each other for comfort. Chishiya stands there and watches the pathetic sight for a good few minutes, only leaving the moment Niragi glares at him through thick tears and tries (and fails) to kick him away. The hoodied man wanders away, now with a new piece of information, and bumps into Kuina standing alone by a potted plant. “ Heyo.” “ Hi Chishiya! Guess what.” Chishiya raises an eyebrow, saying nothing as Kuina starts talking about a new patrol route she was tracking, Chishiya merely nodding along. When she finishes, Chishiya starts to speak. “ I saw Niragi and his girlfriend watching a movie. They were crying. Impressive, I wasn’t completely they knew how to cry.” Kuina gasps a little, looking at Chishiya. “ Really? Ooh, which movie?” “ It was called….. ‘Marley & Me’?” Kuina sucks in a quiet breath, putting a hand to her heart and nodding solemnly. “ Mood.” “ Is it really that sad?” “ Oh, definitely. When are you free? 1 in the morning?” Chishiya slowly nods, Kuina grinning. “ Oh, you’re in for a treat.” Chishiya lamely puts a fist in the air, monotonously cheering.

Still, Chishiya was curious as to what was the fuss over the movie. It couldn’t be that sad…. right? Only one way to find out, he supposes.

[sweeethinny]

The Duke - Chapter 10

A.N: OK, let's go Thank you very much to the comments, really, I know it takes time, but I'm glad you're here always waiting for a new chapter for your understanding: everything in *ITALIC* is flashback, it's a chapter basically made up of that, it explains some things it was the chapter i waited the longest to arrive, i liked it in the end, i hope you did too <3 AO3 | FF.NET | SIYE

It was a cold night, it had rained that afternoon and the sky was cloudy, it looked like it would rain later in the morning, but Arabella was happy about that, as the damp, muggy weather made her sneeze every minute and her asthma was actually getting worse. She should visit a doctor soon. She continued to walk down the empty street, the hem of her dress was getting more and more muddy, no matter how much she pulled her skirt up a little, every time she stepped into a puddle the mud splashed and it was no use effort in trying to get that dress clean. She should have picked an older one to go out with, since she knew the streets would be dreadful after all that rain, not the brand new one she'd bought after working so hard. Was it just a piece of sewn fabric, why was it so expensive? There weren't even enough details or buttons to justify it. But if Isabel was telling the truth, the fabric had come from India, and that in itself had already increased the price twice as much, and Arabella knew that the woman would not lie to her… She hoped at least. As she walked the streets of Godric's Hollow, she thought about how another lonely night would be, and that maybe tomorrow she would send a letter to her great-aunt asking if she could stay a few days at her farm, just to have the company of other people besides the two her cats; Silk and Melindra. “Help!” The scream echoed behind her, and Arabella turned, startled, to see if anyone was hurt or what might have triggered that scream. It was a female scream, and it made her think that maybe a woman could be chased by some maniac, and even though she wasn't very strong, two women fought better than just one, so she ran towards the scream, not caring more about the mud splashing on her dress. Near Ms. Bright’s shop, there was a woman lying down and bleeding, her clothes torn and a baby in her lap. She looked scared, dumped near a ditch that had been made a few days ago to start building a fashion studio around the corner, the scant dress that still covered her was smeared with what looked like blood and mud, and Arabella thought she saw blood running down her legs. Whether it was an injury or something more disturbing, she couldn't tell. The woman held the baby tightly to her chest, wrapped in an old blanket as dirty as she was, and the poor child spared no effort in crying, looking more than scared. “I'm here, what happened?” Arabella ran to her, helping the poor girl to her seat, noticing that the poor baby was also smeared with blood, but she couldn't tell whose blood it was. ‘Come, come to my house, I can help you-’ "No," she cried, brown eyes startled and wide, as if they'd seen death a few feet away. “Someone is following me, I – I'm going to be killed, I know I will, my husband is after me and – you need to get the boy.” She lifted the baby towards Arabella. 'He's trying to kill us, he thinks the child isn't his, he thinks I cheated on him, and he's coming, I-' The woman stopped, as if she'd heard something, but then thunder made the Earth shudder. ‘Please save the boy, I beg you, he already tried to kill the boy but I was always on time, but now I feel like I won't be able to save him.’ “You must come with me.” Arabella pleaded once more, kneeling in front of the woman, trying to get her to rise. When she reached for her forearm, however, her hand was wet with blood, and the tear in the side of her dress let her see a hideous cut in her ribs, the blood running like water in a waterfall, dripping onto the floor and other parts of her dress. "I told you," she muttered, sobbing. 'I'm going to die, I'm not going to make it, I can't stand walking any longer, I managed to run away from him but I can't stand it much longer… Take the boy.' The woman lifted the boy again, who now seemed to cry even more, waking a few neighborhood dogs, as the sky glowed brighter, the earth trembling a few seconds later. "Take him away, don't let him die." 'How-how am I going to leave you here, I can't-' Another thunder shook the earth, and this time, the storm began to fall stronger

than the afternoon, the winds suddenly getting strong, which seemed to scare the boy even more. ‘He will get sick! Get him, take care of him!” As if on instinct, Arabella scooped him up in her arms, wrapping him in her scarf so he was a little warmer. Footsteps were heard nearby, and the woman seemed to despair even more. 'Go! Get Harry and go!’ “What's his name?” Arabella yelled over the noise of the rain, trying to understand what she had said. ‘Henry! His name is Henry!’ ---------------------- “Poor Duchess,” someone says, but all Arabella can see is the white flag atop the castle, an immense sadness shattering her chest into a million pieces. "Who could do something that horrible?" Another says, all paying attention to the newspaper that reports how Harry Potter, the Duke's eldest son, was found dead near a creek not far away. Probably killed by Death Eaters. “They're all nasty human beings!” A man said, looking horrified by the media descriptions, then looking up at the castle again. It's not that far away, it faces the mountains that end Godric's Hollow, separating them from another village, and it's positioned in a way that's seen from anywhere, no matter where you are, you'll see the castle and the huge towers, next to the flags that stand proudly on the masts. One with the English flag, the other with the Potter family crest. But today, both give way to white flags. The boy is dead. Arabella wipes the tears from her eyes and watches little Henry sleep in her arms, oblivious to the commotion. She sympathizes with the Duchess's pain as she looks at that little baby who nearly died along with her mother - Arabella knew that the woman's body was found lifeless the next morning - and remembers the time she too felt the pain of losing a child, of losing the one she loved most to Death Eaters. She kisses the boy's forehead, the pale scar of lightning makes him unique, and Arabella lets herself cry, thinking of the Duchess herself, and how they took away her right to fondle her own son. ---------------------- Arabella did not remember seeing the Duke in public since the incident two years ago. He smiles and nods, but she notices - because she's been there once too - that he's sick, that the gold-and-red scarf around his neck seems to have a lot of fabric left over, as well as his pants. She notices the dark circles under his eyes, and the sunken cheeks, but the man still smiles and waves at people. Henry was on her lap, yesterday he turned two, and Arabella doesn't know very well when he was born, but her neighbor, who is a doctor, said he wasn't much older than four or five months, so she decided that his birthday would be the day before they met, because she thought it was too tragic to celebrate the day she found him in his mother's lap half dead, but she didn't want to stray too far from the date. The Duke smiles and nods to a little girl on his father's shoulders, he is walking through the village as he usually does, something that brings him closer to the people who live there and keeps him in power. He's a good man, after his father, the best they've ever had for sure. He stops when he gets close to Arabella, and she smiles because she used to paint the portraits of the royal family until she had a problem with her fist and was forced to quit her profession, but the man never seems to forget the time she drew him on his 17th birthday. "I'm still waiting for you to draw me and my wife." He says, as he always has since she informed him that she had unfortunately been forced to stop. The man isn't charging her though, he smiles, and watches Henry in her lap, almost sleeping on her shoulder. “It's a beautiful boy.” She thought she saw a shadow in his eyes, but it was so fast she thought it was just her imagination. 'How old is he?' "Two years," she says, and now she's sure the man looks sick, because for a second he stops and stares at Henry, as if wondering what his two-year-old son would be like. Arabella knows because she used to do this. "My condolences, my Lord." "It's okay, I’m fine," the

man says, and he winks at Henry, who hides in his mother's neck, before going off to talk to another woman. ---------------------- “Why are we different?” Henry asks, sitting on the table as Arabella tends to his scraped knee. 'We don't have the same eye color, and my hair doesn't match yours.' She knows he doesn't mean to be mean, he's just a curious and very intelligent child, that he's noticed the dissimilarities between them. She smiles, applying ointment to the wound. ‘Because you are my son at heart, and children at heart are sometimes not like their mothers at heart.’ 'What is a child at heart?' He agrees to be picked up by her, and Arabella leads them into their small living room, sitting on the sofa with Henry on her lap, looking at her with big green eyes gleaming with curiosity, black strands falling over his eyelashes. She needs to cut his hair soon. “It means that you were born from another belly, not mine.” She places a hand over her stomach. “But that's just what separates us, because my love for you surpasses any barrier.” Arabella smiles, kissing his cheek, and Henry seems satisfied with the explanation. 'I love you so much too, this size here!' He opens his arms as much as he can, and the demonstration warms her heart as always, making her smile and hug her son as tightly as she assures him that she loves him even more. | J. P | James was concentrating on the duels when Remus arrived. He was marveling at how well Mr. Figg dueled, neither shivering nor losing time when Mr. Rosier hit back one of his spells, and the man didn't even look tired. He had always found dueling an incredibly boring and dull part of parties when he was younger, accompanied by his father and seeing the men fall in a few minutes, James preferred the parties and the after, when the house was silent and dark and he could go out to meet some woman. It was at one of these parties that he met Lily, during a nighttime getaway he saw her jumping out the window. First he followed her thinking that she was also going to meet someone, and James being a curious young man that he was, he wondered what kind of man that woman liked to sneak with. Maybe he had a chance. But later, when he saw her come out of the house and run towards the lake nearby, James didn't understand. She didn't like him following her, of course, it had been a dumb idea and nowadays he was ashamed of his younger self's actions, but that's what got them talking for the first time. She smiled in embarrassment as he praised her ability to climb a vine. "James!" Remus called after him, cheeks flushed and blue eyes pained toward him. The first thing that came to his mind was that Lily was hurt, and that made him lose all interest in watching the Duel and made him turn to his friend in alarm. “What happened?” He tried to be as discreet as possible, trying to keep other men from noticing his splurge. Sirius did a good job of distracting two young men. "Lily needs you…and she asked me to take Mr. Figg too." Remus muttered the last part, making James frown and look at the boy on his left, who had finally won the duel. Rosier looked tired. 'Is it urgent.' "Is she hurt?" It was a valid concern, James feared his wife would get sicker now that she was surrounded by people, and maybe someone had said something to her and Lily had one of her fits again. ‘And why does she want the boy? Should I tell Arthur? ‘No, don't say anything to anyone, just come… We're in the dungeons.’ ---------------------- Henry did not know how to control his magic, and that distressed Arabella. If he was a Muggle it would be so much easier, she knew that, because when Henry made that poor boy float, and then made a flower vase explode, she knew she would have to explain a lot to him: Why couldn't he go to a proper college and why she didn't do magic like he did. Arabella no longer felt ashamed of being a Squib, she had accepted the condition and lived normally, or at least as she managed to, avoiding whenever anyone asked about it just to avoid people's prejudice. Some thought she was a

Muggle who had married a wizard, and that's why she knew so much about it. Others thought that she just hadn't had a chance to go to school, and that's why she didn't know how to properly control magic. "They made fun of me!" Henry said, annoyed, his eyes red from crying. “They said things—horrible things to me!” He sobbed, which made Arabella even sadder and more worried. His green eyes glistened with tears, staring at her for answers. "They told me I-I'll never be good at-at anything." He sobbed louder and louder, the scraped knee now forgotten, as if the internal pain was much bigger. She was about to cry with him. “Henry, honey, listen to me.” She took a deep breath, thinking that conversation had come earlier than she'd planned. ‘What they said is a lie. They don't know how to control their magic either, they probably won't for a good few years, and you're already good at a lot of things, of course you are, Henry. You're much better at putting together puzzles, and you're much faster too, I mean, you always win at the races.' Arabella smiled sweetly, smoothing his messy hair, thinking how unfair it was that such a sweet little boy already got to know this side of life. She wished she could just show the good side of life, and leave the thorns and stones for when he understood things better. Arabella wondered how her mother managed to do this so masterfully, because right now, she wanted to be able to hex the parents of those boys and force them to teach their children more respect for others. She wished it had been her who had been pushed and thrown out of the game, not her child. Her heart broke even more, feeling helpless. ‘Don't listen to what they say, ok? You're amazing, a very smart kid, and your future will be bright.” She promised, because it was true. Arabella would do anything for her son. ---------------------- Henry ran as fast as he could, passing through the trees and not even bothering with the branches that scratched his skin, he just needed to get out of there. He knew he shouldn't have pissed off those boys, but they were scaring another younger boy, and just because they'd now gone to that stupid school of stupid people, they thought they were even better than the rest of the people there. Henry wished he could go to Hogwarts, but his mother had told him that you needed to receive a letter, and that they were only sent for a few families - maybe if you're lucky you get the letter, she said smiling, even though the smile didn't reach her eyes. Arabella had never said this, but Henry knew he would probably never get the letter; he wasn't rich and he didn't have a father, and for some reason, that seemed to be enough to keep him away from others. He ran even faster when he heard loud laughter, he wasn't afraid of those kids anymore, Henry had grown up while they were in school, more than they were, but they had one advantage: magic. Arabella couldn't buy a wand, so he didn't have one, and even if he did, he wouldn't know how to use it. “You're a wimpy coward if your only way to fight is with magic…don't you know how to punch?” Henry had said to Jilian, the biggest idiot of them all. Henry wasn't very good at punching, but he was very fast, while when Greg tried to cast a spell on him, he ran off into the forest, barely noticing when his own magic created a dome around him, preventing any spells from hitting him. . ---------------------- “Why are we so different?” Henry asked, taking a seat beside Arabella as she kneaded the bread on the table. She looked at him, noticing that the boy was all sweaty and looking a little smudged with dirt. “How many times have I told you not to go into the woods?” She returned her gaze to the dough, continuing to knead. "It's quieter there." He shrugged, pulling his sweaty hair off his forehead, letting his scar show for a few seconds before hiding it again. “And more dangerous too, and you know it.” Arabella raised her eyebrows, scolding him. She'd heard horrible stories of people meeting a werewolf deep in the woods, and as much as she didn't

know whether or not it was true, she didn't want Henry to take any chances like that. He was only 13 years old, he should have been playing with the other kids on the street and not running into the trees. "Okay, I won't do it anymore." He sighed, but she knew he would break that promise the next time he had the opportunity. ‘But then? Why aren't we alike?’ "Henry, because you were born from another belly. I already said that" She placed the buns in the oven, washing her hands afterwards and looking up at him with a gentle smile on her face. "I met you when you were very young, you know this story." "But why can I make things float and you can't?" His green eyes stared at her with an expression much harder and more serious than she was used to, as if he would know if she lied. ‘Because not all of us are born doing magic. Some of us are good at something other than magic… It's something you need to be born knowing how to do, you can't develop it, just improve it.” Arabella swallowed, trying not to show so much the scars that had left on her. People weren't kind when they found out you were a Squib. He was quiet for a few minutes, looking at his hands as if he wanted to find the right words. The sun streaming through the kitchen windows illuminated his black hair, a few strands reflecting an almost red copper color that Arabella thought was beautiful. 'Can you never do magic?' He looked at her, and all the worry she'd ever felt, scared that maybe Henry would feel sorry for her or ashamed of her, drained and slipped out as his green eyes stared at her, full of affection and sadness. Not the same sadness that always came with grief, but as if he felt bad that he did magic and she didn't, as if he understood now why some people offended her and treated her differently. "No." She gave a half smile. "But I'm not sad about it anymore, I like who I am." And it was true. Henry nodded, still being silent for a while, seeming to absorb the information, then he got up from the wooden bench, walking over to her and hugging her. He was no longer her little boy—as much as he always would be her baby—Henry now almost reached her chest, and it wouldn't be long before he was taller than her. She hugged him back, enjoying this show of affection, imagining that a few years from now he wouldn't like hugs so much. "I love you," he said. ‘I love you very much too. Forever and ever.” Arabella kissed the top of his head, tightening her hold even more, as if she was afraid someone would suddenly take him away from her. ---------------------- It had been a long time since James had been in the dungeons, he didn't like going there, it was cold, wet, lonely, and it made him think too much. It made him think his son's things were there, in boxes organized as if they were just another mess and not everything he and Lily had ever dreamed of. It made him think of the pain that resided in his chest, the emptiness that nothing in the world had ever been able to fill. James hated the dungeons. Lily, unlike him, loved being there, she said it was the best place for her to think, and the calmest of all - 'It's where I feel that no one will look at me with pity, where I can think of my son in peace, you know what I'm talking about," she said when James questioned her about the surroundings. He knew, he understood her, James had changed into Prongs many more times than necessary, he did it every time the pain got too much to take. He walked down the stairs, trying to ignore the shiver that ran down his spine, couldn't anyone make this place something less scary? After Remus left, James warned Sirius, who tried to pretend as best he could and further entertain the men who now looked curious to death, while he went to talk to Mr. Figg. "I need you to accompany me, but I need you to do this cautiously and discreetly," James asked, looking into those green eyes closely, trying to remember where he knew that expression. "I'll go ahead, meet me in five minutes at the entrance to the stone path, do you know where it is?" The man nodded, tucking

his wand into the waistband of his pants and straightening his robes. 'I'll let Arthur know I'll take you, just so he won't be worried, but I think you understand that you shouldn't say anything to anyone, right?' "Yes, my Lord." The man made a brief, discreet bow, and James grimaced, not understanding why that made him uncomfortable. Now James heard footsteps behind him as he walked through the dungeon, neither of them saying anything. Why had Lily asked Mr. Figg to come along? Had she found out something about the boy? Something bad? James glanced quickly over his shoulder, noticing that the man looked warmed too, his hands behind him and his back straight. Has something happened to Miss Weasley? Well, if so, Arthur would be called too, right? James broke off as soon as he reached the last room, the one he avoided the most, and the only one with lighted candles. The first thing he saw when he entered were the boxes, stacked against a wall, then he realized there were some of Harry's things on the floor, smeared with dirt and sticks, and James' heart missed a beat when he saw the Snitch Pajamas The gold one he'd bought when he found out Lily was pregnant was now all filthy and torn. Had they been attacked? Was that why Lily sent for him? Then he saw Remus, opening Lily's herb cabinet and looking for something inside, he looked worried. In the back, near the only window there, was Peter, all smeared with mud too, sitting on the floor with his hands behind his back, his red cheeks making him look like a child caught doing something wrong, and his rumpled clothes hinting that he had fought someone. Finally, sitting on the bench was Lily. Her dress was dirty too, but that wasn't what James first noticed, it was her red face, her pink cheeks like when she drank wine, her hands shaking as she poured something into the cauldron, looking more nervous than ever. "What's going on?" James glanced at the three of them, feeling even more anxious. "Lily, what the fuck is going on?" "Did you bring Henry?" James frowned at her calling the man by his first name, but nodded anyway, Peter sighed in the corner, looking almost terrified, not making eye contact with James for a moment. ‘Great, send him in.’ ---------------------- Henry knew he shouldn't be there, his mother had forbidden him, but he had nowhere else to go. Jilian had come back from his stupid school and he seemed more than happy to train some spells on Henry, and even though he had honed his punching technique, he couldn't compete with magic. So he ran into the forest. It was cold there, it had rained last night and the earth had turned to mud, and because of the tall trees the sun's rays didn't penetrate as much, and the whole environment ended up getting wetter than usual. Henry shivered as the wind made him wonder why he hadn't grabbed a jacket. He was sitting on the usual rock, it was close to the river that separated them from the Muggles, and it gave him a good view across the village. There were houses like the ones on this side, but they always looked a lot less colorful than the ones he was used to, and there weren't as many flowers and trees either, as if the Muggles were willing to clear every bit of land they found, leaving everything gray and monotonous. Henry had asked his mother if they could go to that side of the village, but Arabella had been stern to say he was forbidden to even think about going to the Muggles. He chuckled softly, thinking that if it hadn't been for the river that separated them, he probably would have managed to at least get there, curious as always. A noise startled him, making him jump and hide behind the rock, praying it wasn't one of Jilian's friends, as he would be at such a disadvantage. There wasn't much to run now, Henry had almost reached the end of the forest, and unless he took a chance and ran towards the darkest and scariest part, the other option was to jump into the river. And he wasn't doing any of those things. But when he didn't hear voices or anything to indicate they were people, he stood up,

watching a deer walking around, distracted by everything, as if nothing else mattered. Henry had never seen one this close, and he was a little fascinated by the animal, he understood why there are two deer on the Potter family crest. It really was a beautiful animal, and if he could choose, he would also want them emblazoned on his chest. Henry stepped out from behind the rock, careful not to startle the animal, trying to get as close as he could. “Hey,” he called, even though it didn't make much sense. The animal turned, eyes huge now in his direction. It had been a bad idea, he cursed himself mentally, imagining that that animal was too big and would probably kill him without a second thought… Did deer eat human flesh? Henry didn't know, but they probably hurt anyone who scared them and made them feel in danger. The animal approached, slowly, and each step made the boy's stomach turn and his heart race. Deer were fast, much faster than Henry was. He was dead. But when the animal's black eyes got much closer than Henry had ever thought he saw, the animal bowed, as if saying hello to him. Without thinking twice, he did the same, maintaining eye contact with the deer. Heavens, couldn't he be less weird? Bending over to deer, blowing things up without meaning to... Henry stood up after a while, being careful to do this as slowly as possible, still afraid the deer would decide to kill him then and there. But the animal seemed to have other plans, because he lay down in front of the boy, as if he were an adorable little dog. Henry sat beside him too, having no choice; he didn't have many friends, and he had nothing else to do, so why not? His ass got a little wet from the dirt, but nothing too uncomfortable. The deer shifted and brought its head closer to Henry's crossed leg, as if asking for affection, and the boy didn't wait for another move to do so, leaning his back against the stone and reaching out to stroke the slightly coarse fur of the animal For some strange reason, Henry felt comfortable doing it, as if he had done it before, it was something familiar that burned in his chest. But he didn't think about it much, just fell silent and watched the forest in front of him. ---------------------- "Lily, what's going on?" James asked, feeling uneasy as he watched the tension surround the room, Remus looked nervous and Peter avoided looking up, as if he was suddenly afraid to face one of them. Lily turned to James, her green eyes seemed to glow with hatred, her nostrils swollen, an expression he'd seen a few times over the years, but one that always scared him. "What... What happened?" Her shaky voice made him look at Remus again, the worry growing by the second. "Oh James." She shook her head, as if suddenly too much pain hit her, and he ran to her protection, opening his arms to hold her and protect her from anything that had happened while he was gone. "Guys, anyone…?" He glanced at his friends, but again, Peter didn't look at him. "Tell him, Peter!" Lily yelled, breaking out of James' embrace and turning to the man sitting on the floor, pointing her wand in his direction. ‘Lily, what the hell!?’ "No, James," She held up a hand, silencing him. "Tell Peter, tell him what you did to our son." His world stopped, his eyes threatening to pop out of their sockets as James stared at his friend, begging for all that was most sacred that he hadn't quite understood. Peter was his brother, his best friend, they met when they went to Hogwarts together, he was there when James needed it most, when they decided to become Animagus… Peter wouldn't do that, he couldn't! James doubted that one day the pain of losing a child would be replaced by another, that hellish emptiness that tore at him more and more inside, that made him not sleep well on rainy nights, that still made him walk into the boy's immaculate room and sit on the floor wondering what he should have done differently. He would do anything to get his son back, his boy. But the pain that hit him when Peter shook his head and lowered his head, making him

realize his hands were tied behind his body, came very close. His best friend… betrayed him? "Peter?" James pleaded, begged, for it to be a lie, for Lily to be mad. It was a lie! It had to be. "I had to, James... I... he made me." ---------------------- The weather was not so good, Peter realized when he Apparated, the sky was dark and windy like never before. He should have worn another cloak, this one was too thin and made him cold. And other gloves too, because now these were bloody and torn. Who knew a woman could be so strong? Peter dragged the woman's passed out body with him, feeling a little sickened by that when he realized her wound was getting worse with each passing minute, he needed to be quick. Leaving the body where no one could find it, he pulled a strand of her hair into the potion and then took it, the horrible taste of iron made him want to spit it out on the floor, but now there was no turning back, he would have to swallow and continue with the plan. Lord Voldemort had promised him a great reward in exchange for the boy's life, and for the first time in a long time, Peter felt important and wanted. It wasn't that Black boy who was chosen, or even Snape, no no, he was the one Voldemort thought capable of completing the mission, he thought he was strong enough. How long has it been since? He only stayed inside the Order because James kept him there, no one really wanted him there, not even Dumbledore, Peter didn't need him to say it to know, it was visible to everyone. For the old man, any other man could do the job better than he… Probably if Lily were there too, she would be chosen before Peter. Potter this, Black that, Peter was tired. Why didn't anyone realize he was also strong and smart? Well, now that was over, Voldemort had seen his potential and chosen him to do this mission, and Peter wasn't going to fail now. When he was fully transformed into that whore, he apparated into the castle, glad the potion didn't stop him from doing so. Stupid James should have put in better security than a simple spell. Peter had seen James that afternoon, he said that today was Harry's first night trying to sleep alone and that he and Lily were excited to see how he would react to the change, so the plan would be even easier to execute. As excited as Peter was at the idea of ​​being useful to someone, he knew he couldn't kill James, he had to really want to do it with all his heart. When he reached the boy's room, Peter looked around, noting the choice of bright, cheerful colors, the many teddy bears scattered around, the photos on the walls and in the frames above the dresser. Little Harry slept peacefully in his bed, wrapped in the pale blue blanket, looking peaceful, cuddled up with his deer teddy bear. He was a lot like James, Peter thought, watching the boy move his short legs like he was kicking something in the dream. He hadn't really thought about that part of the plan, he figured he'd have the guts to just take the boy and end his life right there, or in some alley farther along, but when Peter picked him up, being careful not to waking him up, that lavender scent invaded his nostrils and he watched the baby more closely. The boy looked helpless in his arms, like he wasn't even real, and if he wasn't watching the boy's belly rise and fall, Peter would think he was a doll. Voldemort would never know if he had killed the boy or not, and pausing to analyze the situation now, Peter also didn't know if he could kill the boy. He wanted to show that he was strong and useful, but a baby? Harry looked so…small. When he stirred, startling Peter, and seemed to be looking for something - maybe his mother's scent - he realized it was time to act, there was no turning back, it had to be now. And when lightning flashed in the sky, he cast a spell to prevent Harry from listening when he broke the glass to fake an escape, Peter waited for thunder to do so and then Apparated out of the castle, knowing that this was the best thing to do. There were two paths now, and he needed to think quickly

which was better, kill Harry and throw him in some hole, or give the boy to someone else. Of course he would risk this person recognizing the baby, but he would have to bet his luck on finding another baby like this for Lily and James to bury, or maybe even run to the Muggle village and find some woman there. It had to be fast, Harry would wake up any second and Peter didn't have much time after that. As soon as he spotted a woman a few blocks away and Harry opened his eyes in his arms, Peter acted without thinking, taking the knife from his pants pocket and opening a wound in his ribs, before starting to scream for help. ---------------------- James clapped his hand over his mouth, denying it over and over, not believing what he was hearing. No no no no. This had to be a lie, this had to be a lie. Peter would never do that, Peter was his brother, he would never… No, this could only be a joke. He could barely handle the pain right now, thinking he'd rather die than have to deal with it. It hurt so much that James thought he might start bleeding at any moment, his chest lacerated after hearing about it. He couldn't even feel angry. His boy, his little boy, whom he'd loved so much ever since Lily told him she was pregnant, that it made him want to scream from the top of the roof in so much joy… “I could kill you right now,” he said, after what seemed like an eternity, barely able to face the traitor. "But…" James shook his head, closing his eyes to try to make it hurt a little less, his father's voice resonating through his mind; "You must be careful with Peter," he said before he died. "Men like him are easily attracted to the side that shines the most." James had thought his father was delusional when he said that, thought it was the fever, but no, the bastard really was a weakling and a coward. Letting himself be attracted to those he once hated. If he really hated it. "I can't even look at you." James turned to Lily, who looked distraught to death at having to hear that story. He wanted to kill Peter even more for making her suffer like that. The traitor had been there the next day, helping with the searches, he had hugged Lily when she cried, told her everything would be fine. "James, give me your hand," asked Lily, her own trembling, reaching out towards him. 'Why?' "Lils…he could be lying—" She shook her head, telling Remus to shut up. "Give me your hand James." Now her voice was stronger, more determined, and her green eyes sparkled even more. He did so, letting her grab his palm and run the tip of the knife, causing the blood to drip and smear her workbench and floor, before finally dripping into the cauldron. “Lily, what are you doing?” But she didn't answer him, cutting her own palm and spilling her blood along with his, then looking over her husband's shoulder. She looked more nervous than ever, and her severed hand shook even more as she held it out to the man behind James. "Give me your hand, Henry." Her green eyes sparkled with tears, and James didn't know if the man did as she asked just because she was a Duchess, or because she was crying. "Yes, ma'am." He walked over and let her do the same thing with his palm, passing the tip of the knife and then letting the blood spill into the cauldron. The potion began to bubble fiercely, as did James' chest when he realized what Lily was up to. He had seen her make this potion a few times, and if his thinking was correct, then maybe he could vomit right there, his stomach churning and making him feel weak. James didn't want to get his hopes up, it only served to hurt when unrequited, but he was unable to hold back the urge and looked at the man behind him, and then at Peter, who now looked even more guilty, if that was possible. If this was another one of his jobs with Voldemort, James knew he would kill him right there, with his bare hands. Forget magic and wands, he would tear that mouse apart like a hungry lion. James turned to the cauldron again when Lily sobbed and he smelled the lavender scent all over the room, and the once gray

potion was now a pinkish hue, the three drops of blood seemed to dance in the middle of the liquid, before of finally meeting at the end, getting connected. "Harry." Lily turned to the man, but James remained frozen, watching the cauldron in front of him. They had never reached this result, usually the potion would explode or nothing happened, and the smell was never that sweet aroma that seemed to fill all the hollows in his chest, as if he suddenly felt no more pain. As he turned back, as Lily advanced towards the boy, James thought that maybe nothing would ever compare to this. "Harry," Lily repeated, but this time she touched him, and as if the boy felt it too, he lowered his green eyes to her. James remembered then where he knew that look… It was Lily's eyes. Her trembling hand went to his forehead, lifting the hair lying there, just to let them see the lightning scar marked into his skin. It was too much to handle, James didn't know how he was still standing, but suddenly he started to feel tears rolling down his cheeks and as if this was the last drop of water to overflow the bucket, he sobbed. He inched closer to Lily, wanting to take a closer look at his son, as if he was afraid this was a dream and soon he would no longer have the chance to memorize every detail of it. His boy… "You-" Harry trailed off, as if he was feeling like James and Lily, his chest filling up and all that emptiness seeming to finally heal. "My parents?" He looked at James, and it was as if time had never passed. He still had the same expression as that little baby James used to cuddle up to sleep on. "I knew I knew you from somewhere," James managed to say, his throat seeming to scratch with the effort it took. "I would never be able to forget…" He didn't mind the tears rolling down his face, but he tried to wipe the ones down Harry's face. "I would never be able to forget my son."

[rextasywrites]

Little Darling 4 - a Lady Dimitrescu x Mia Winters fanfiction

"The walls of the basement were still as cold and slick as the day Lady Dimitrescu turned into what she was today. Some mold was still growing in corners here and there, but mostly it was contained to sealed boxes. “You turned because of the mold too?”"

what awaits Mia in the basement of Lady Dimitrescu's castle? how is the mold connected to both survivour, even if their trauma was 500 years apart?

ohhh boy i am SO happy with this fic yall have no idea. big thanks to everyone who has commeted on my fics so far, you make writing a fun process. i hope you enjoy the new chapter! !!!flashbacks are written in cursive!!! <3 <3 <3

Warnings: mention of child death, various mental illnesses

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

During the night, the snowfall in the valley had increased, snowing most of the village in. Lady Dimitrescu stood on the balcony, taking a drag from her smoke, blowing out smoke that nearly froze in the cold air. Mia was still fast asleep, the exhaustion caught up on her once the nightmares vanished. Lady Dimiterescu didn’t get any sleep during this very night - sleep was barely needed for her anyways, but she had ignored her own tiredness in favour of making sure Mia was okay. Guess the ‘human’ touch worked wonders on the traumatized.

“Lady Dimitrescu?”, Mia’s tired voice ripped her out of her thoughts and she turned around to face the young woman, standing in the doorway to the balcony, rubbing her sleepy eyes. “Can you close the door? I am freezing.”

“Oh right, you humans and your temperature problems.”, Lady Dimitrescu chuckled as she stepped back into the bedroom, “and please, call me Alcina.”

“Alright, Alcina.”, Mia chuckled, sitting back on the bed she had just emerged from, stretching her body from this good night’s sleep. “What is the plan for today? Will you show me where Rosy is?”

“Not yet. Before, you have to understand a few things. A few things about us. You worked with bio weapons before, so you will understand quickly enough…”

*

The walls of the basement were still as cold and slick as the day Lady Dimitrescu turned into what she was today. Some mold was still growing in corners here and there, but mostly it was contained to sealed boxes. “You turned because of the mold too?”

“Exactly. I spent hundreds of years dissecting my own blood to find out what was the trigger in this very mold, turning me into...this.”, Lady Dimitrescu said as she took a seat in the very same place the plague doctor had been on. “What I have come to realize - the plague doctors and fuck knows who else worked on the mold...they created an early version of the mold you were infected with. Of course, early and very simple, but you can see what it did to me.”

Mia nodded as she listened to Alcina talk, taking in the surrounding. It all reminded her so much of the basement she was locked in for three years, she could even feel the hard mattress under her spine. Something she never told Ethan was that she spent most of these years either trying to escape or sleep her injuries off. Eveline didn’t let her go. “How did they manage this back in...1500-something?”

“You are asking good questions, dear. I suppose the mold had a spontaneous mutation which caused its effects on me. I saw the dead bodies of previous victims. They died of mold poisoning or its effects on their lungs. Was lucky there, ‘suppose. And now I am immortal and could take over the world if I wanted to. Do I want to? Fuck no.”

“Why not?”, Mia chuckled at the thought of a vampire lady ruling over the world. What would the aliens say that watch us all day long? “Nothing could stop you. Not even any kind of bio weapons so far.”

“That’s the thing! Redfield and his team are developing a cure to the mold as we speak, with Rosy’s blood. The mold we were infected with is dangerously similar. Since no D-series exists anymore, they had to work with what they get. Ever since I got word of the D-series and the mold, I kept my eyes on your team and you. Because you would be the key to our deaths.”

“But why are they after you and your daughters? You haven’t caused any significant troubles, like turning a whole city into zombies…”

“Because we are mutants in the end. We shouldn’t exist in a perfect world with all sunshines and rainbow pooping unicorns. Too bad the world is a cruel place. Helping Redfield with the resurrection of Jill Valentine was the worst mistake I have made in over 500 years of living.”, Lady Dimitrescu explained, trailing over her exposed arm. Her veins were visible, but it was clear the mold had taken over her bloodstream judging by the colour alone. “The mold feeds off human blood. Once my blood was out, I started to thirst for whatever blood I could find. Most of the time I settled for homeless or old people - you know, the kind of people no one would miss.”

“...that makes sense, and that’s something rare to say in a situation like this.”, Mia said, earning a smile from Lady Dim- Alcina. “And why...don’t you just surrender and die? You have lived for over 500 years?”

“Oh Mia.”, Lady Dimitrescu chuckled as she stood up, cupping Mia’s cheeks, “Death is something so personal, trust me. It’s about the choice. If I want to kill myself, I’d just turn the mold into a vaccine. But being killed by a big mouthed assface who thinks the world belongs to him? I won’t give up without a fight. My daughters won’t give up without a fight. Suicide is something so personal.”

“Here.”, Carlos placed the newspaper article in front of Chris. Several homeless people had been found dead, drained of their blood. Chris read it with great interest, even though his Romanian was rusty. “Drained of their blood in Romania? This is either some sick dracula cosplayer or we have our eyes on vampires. Maybe they are the key to life!”

Chris raised an eyebrow at Carlos, “You really are into the thought of bringing her back to life, aren’t you?”

“Chris, look”, Carlos sighed, frustration and anger present in his mimic, “This is not the death Jill deserves. She deserves a second chance! Without the blood and pain and bio weapons. Fuck, let her adopt five cats and a llama if it makes her happy. But this is not the death she deserves”, and he pointed towards the cold camber her lifeless body was resting in. She looked so peaceful, as if she was just sleeping. Her blonde hair had fallen over her face, as if she was a fallen angel, ready to spread her wings at any given second. Chris might have given up on her, but not Carlos.

“Send out Kennedy then. He knows how to deal with the dirty work.”

*

The reports from Leon were clear. Mutants had infested the castle, but they weren’t much of a threat while Leon had been in there. It actually seemed as if they were avoiding him. But the key was a moment he accidentally witnessed.

“Lady Dimitrescu!”, a cry broke through the quietness of the castle. Leon had heard this sort of cry before - a mother who had just lost her child. A cry he never wanted to hear again. “Please help me! My daughter, my little baby…!”, she wailed as the three daughters surrounded her, taking the dead body of the toddler from her. The blonde daughter ran to where Lady Dimitrescu was staying while the two others comforted the hysteric mother. The child was pale and stiff, and must have been dead for quite a while. Leon swallowed dry at the view. He could deal with zombies and mutants in the weirdest ways, but dead children...he could never get used to this.

About an hour later, Lady Dimitrescu walked out of her study with the little girl, who was looking at least more alive. The colour had returned to her face and her chest was moving a little bit. “Here.”, she smiled as she handed the lady her daughter, “She needs rest for a few more days. Keep her warm and secure, bedrest is the best idea there. Also, she will be very thirsty once she wakes up. Let her drink all the water she needs, her body is severely dehydrated.”

Because of this, Leon decided to stay a few days more. He followed the mother to her home and stayed hidded. About a week later, he knocked on the door of the woman, asking for her help, if she had seen his dog ‘Rex’.

“Sadly, I have not.”, the woman said, and from the corner of his eyes, Leon was able to spot the once dead daughter, playing with some barbies. “But if I see him, I will let you know.” This was all the confirmation he needed. Leon headed back to the USA the following day to report from what he witnessed, and how they could be the key to saving Jill.

[theofficial606]

One year ago today I began playing Mystic Messenger. One year ago today— even though I wouldn’t know it for a few months yet— I met the fictional character that would become my fictional husband. To celebrate that I am posting this OTP questions list, and another one to follow, and I’ll be spamming some posts.

1) we both are 💖😘

2) trying to get through our stressful problems as a result of Saeyoung’s past and how it affects us now and how we should deal with it.

3) depends

4) did this really have to include “no sexual”? Anyways, it’s just hang out together, talking or doing any activity while talking, or even cuddling together.

5) He drives. I ride shotgun

6) I physically cannot carry him so he carries me.

7) oooo okay here’s the list I had saved onto my notes explaining this:

my nicknames for him are honey🍯 & babe💞 +the occasional 707💻 shortened to 7 (it’s only used bc I’m his 606📱) but he loves it best when I call him by his real name, Saeyoung. I also joke about him being my pet (cat mostly, but I have told him he has more of a dog personality lol). his nicknames for me are various and most are rarely used bc they’re just for funsies/a joke. honey🍯 & babe💞 are used most bc they’re also my names for him, along with 606📱, sweetie💝 (dragged out a bit), kitty (or referring to me as a cat), my galaxy☄️⭐️🌙🪐☀️ (my world equivalent), and of course “my” name (self insert’s) Gabriela.

8) he does!

9) I only do if I’m alone bc I hate my voice. But he’ll do it in front of others.

10) me

11) he

12) we

13) uh…our tastes both vary a lot so it depends on what you mean by “weird”.

14) he does but only bc I order the same things all the time.

15) me

16) 😐😑

(both, but mostly me at first lolol)

17) both! depends on what’s going on as to who does.

18) we’re always holding hands or very near each other, it’s hard to tell who grabs for the other first.

19) Saeyoung does

20) I am

21) neither bc we have enough animals but it’s more likely to be me bc I can’t help wanting to save the poor things.

22) he does, bc he’s taller

23) many would think it would be Saeyoung but he’s respectful of my anxiety and would never publicly embarrass me, even if done goodnaturedly.

24) he does, only bc I absolutely refuse!

25) both (but the questions aren’t weird for us, we’re already weird so they’re normal :p)

26) me. But on accident! Somehow I always end up wrapped up in them when I wake up. It’s why Saeyoung likes sleeping right next to me so much. It’s the only way he’s guaranteed blankets XD

27) he does

28) me

29) we don’t drink coffee

30) me. but he did cry while watching one particular movie.

31) sorta both of us? but at the same time we’re like “nah this is whatever”

32) I sometimes cut his hair. But I mainly leave it to the professionals.

33) he did

34) his friends knew as it was developing

35) his friends and family ship us (lol). my friends are supportive, my family is worried.

36) to everybody’s surprise, it’s Saeyoung

37) I do

38) me

39) he does (I play along tho)

40) inappropriate things as in sexual things? neither. Inappropriate things as in “not appropriate for this situation”? both, but most likely he’s doing it

41) he makes me laugh more, but I make him laugh too! Just not as much.

42) it depends on what the reassurance is about. I need it about almost everything. He needs it about me not leaving when things get tough, or that somehow things will get better.

43) pfft. we’re both too smart to ever land in jail.

44) hmm. idk

45) Saeyoung. Only bc I can’t sing :,(

46) wait for the other to come back. Lol no, we can manage to not be around each other all the time. We just, go on about our days.

47) not a headcanon since I decide what’s canon, so this is canon, but bc of his extremely unhealthy lifestyle when he was young, he dies earlier than he should, and his last 7 years of life were tougher than they should have been. He dies at 77 (so my s/i is 75). So my s/i has to live on without him…

48) until age 70, Saeyoung’s physical health is fine so he and my s/i live a happy life. My s/i never has major physical health issues. They enjoy 57 years of marriage. Though they had mental and emotional problems for the first few years of their marriage, they both agree that their lives got better and happier once they met the other. Even though they both know soulmates aren’t actually real, and Saeyoung refers to his brother as his other half (since they’re twins), they still know that the connection they share is a rare thing. It’s as if they were literally made for the other, destined to be together, they’re so perfect for each other…

[allie1804-fan]

Kerensa

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5 , Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8

Chapter 9

The Griefcast Record

Keanu got out of the taxi at Whistledown Studios and headed in. Cariad and the recoding team greeted him and they got set up with teas, biscuits and a box of tissues on the table

“God, it’s just like a therapist’s room!” he joked

“Best to be prepared! They might be for me anyhow” she laughed.

Before we start though, can I just spend a moment being a fangirl and just say how amazing it is for me to meet you. There are so many films of yours I love – and my kids adore Duke Caboom!”

“ahh yes, Canada’s Greatest Stuntman” he boomed - “that was a fun role”

“and so perfectly cast right?”

“Yeah yeah I guess. I’m glad they picked me from the roster of Canadians they had lined up!”

“Ok, so thanks for letting me just gush for a moment! Are you ready?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be!”

“First tell me the story of how we managed to get you as a guest.”

“Ok so right, so errm my friend Kerry is the link. I was filming in Cornwall this past year and uh, after we wrapped I was so charmed by the place that I decided to stay and rent a place for a couple of months down there. Kerry was my landlady and one day I came across her walking along the beach, tears streaming down her face and she was listening to your show which she highly recommended to me. I admit it took a bit of persuading to listen, given the crying thing!, but she told me it was more reassuring and uplifting than upsetting. Anyway, so sorry, this is turning into a shaggy dog tale!, so I did give it a go, really loved it

“Oh thank you”

“So then one day we were discussing an episode about baby loss, something we had in common and had talked about before and she said I should do the show. Now THAT took a lot more thought and persuasion, but she said it would do me good and there would be the angle of the man’s perspective and being someone with a public profile going through loss and you know yada, yada yada so here I am, finally!

“That’s amazing and thank you so much to Kerry for listening to the show and for your persuasive talents in getting this lovely man here today. So Keanu, as you know we always start with this question. Who are we remembering today?”

“Today we’re remembering my daughter Ava who was stillborn 23 years ago this year.”

“Ok so would you mind telling me a little bit about what happened.”

“So, ahh, it was in the spring of 1999. The Matrix had just come out and my life was pretty full on. My girlfriend Jennifer became pregnant around that time. It was unplanned and I’ll be honest, I wasn’t super happy about it at first, but she wanted to keep the baby and I said I’d support her, you know, and as time went on I was more excited than worried about becoming a dad.”

“And how was the pregnancy? How far along was Jennifer when Ava died?”

“Everything seemed fine, she, Ava was growing and developing normally. Jen was healthy. Then I was away filming, a god awful project as well! And, Um, ahh, give me a minute” Keanu cleared his throat and took a drink of water.

“I swore I wouldn’t do this” he said gesturing at himself tearing up, his voice cracking slightly “but sometimes, the memories can be, uhhh, very powerful, very vivid”

“Yes you can be taken right back like it just happened can’t you, however long ago - you know I’m 20 plus years out now and still very occasionally I can be catapulted back there. So, everything looked good but you were away, filming - and I’m sure it can’t have been an awful film”

Keanu snorted

“I assure you it was!, yes anyway, Jen went for a last check up at a little over 8 months and uh, there was no heartbeat. Ava had died and so I flew home and she had to, you know, give birth in a maternity unit, hearing all the other babies being born - I mean they have to do it there because you still might need, you know, that expertise and they tried to keep us private but those places they get busy and she had to go through all that with those sounds sometimes breaking through”

“Yes I hear that that is a common experience here in the UK too and one that SANDS, the still birth charity is trying to address. It’s interesting your choice of words: “she went through that”, presumably you were there so didn’t you go through it too?”

“Yeah, yeah - I guess, I just meant that it was worse, more traumatic mentally for her and obviously physically too”

“Sure sure, but awful for both of you nonetheless”

“Indeed, it was” Keanu paused a moment as though something important had just occurred to him “and she was beautiful too you know”

“awwwww” Cariad moaned sympathetically

“she was beautiful, perfect and warm, just silent, still”

Keanu looked up at Cariad, his eyes filled with tears once more and they both just sat for a moment, taking in the pain of his loss. Eventually, Cariad started the conversation again.

“And did you both hold her? Did the hospital staff help you, you know, to say goodbye to her?”

Yeah yeah, we did hold her. They left us be for a good amount of time, they took prints of her hands and feet and a photograph. You know they were supportive in that way, especially as we knew already, you know, that she had died, they were prepared. I don’t think we were, I mean I don’t think you can prepare for that, right? Your brain won’t let you, not really.”

“Yeah yeah, we talk about that a lot on the show, there are people who say it’s better when someone dies of an illness so you know it’s coming whereas with a sudden death you suffer more shock but I still think there’s a degree of shock you experience even when you have some warning.

“Yeah yeah and it’s so stupid, we’re all just so dumb because death is coming man, to us all but we just don’t want to think about it!” He chuckled

“So are you someone who thinks about death a lot?”

“Yeah yeah it’s always there in the back of my mind, spurring me on to do things, make that film, write that script, build that bike!”

“And do you think that’s because of losing Ava?”

“I don’t know, no not really, well maybe a little but that’s come more with getting older I think - I didn’t really have that reaction at the time”

“So what was your reaction, how did you grieve for Ava?”

Another chuckle came from Keanu.

“A more appropriate question might be how didn’t I grieve for her, at the time I mean!”

“Oh?”

“Hee hee you’re like a therapist, leaving the gaps for me to fill!”

“Some of my critics say I interrupt too much and start talking about me so…..”

“We’ll that’s not very nice is it? And also not true!”

“Thanks - Comes with the territory I guess, so please, go on, fill the gap”

“What was the question again?”

“It was about how you did or didn’t grieve for Ava after her birth?”

“Mmmm well we buried her, in the new year, she was born on Christmas Eve, which is uhhh, another tricky thing about it”

“Oh that’s awful, death on high days and holidays just adds another layer right?”

“Yeah yeah. They do - so um after that I went to Georgia to shoot a movie!”

“So you threw yourself into work then?”

“Yup, my trusty friend in times of crisis. In fact I did, let me see, 1, 2, 3, yes 3 movies in the next year and then started training for the Matrix 2 and 3 so I guess the answer is I put my feelings in a tightly locked metaphorical box and didn’t open it for quite some time!”

“And was there intrusion from the press , I guess this is pre the days of the internet being so developed and social media but how was that side of it?”

“Yeah there was some, you know photographers with long lenses at the cemetery”

“God! I can’t imagine”

“Yeah pretty low, right but in a way because of the taboo of stillbirth, people, you know interviewers and stuff, didn’t ask me about it. I mean I would sometimes say “no personal questions” but at other times that hasn’t stopped people.”

“Oh like what?”

“I’m thinking of when River, River Phoenix died, even if I said I wouldn’t answer anything personal they would still ask how I felt, did I miss him. I mean, fuck! Oh sorry I can swear right?”

“Swear away, sure, and god, fuck yeah, that deserved it. I mean obviously that’s a bit of a contradiction coming from me given we’re here and I’m making you talk about private things but”

“But I agreed, that’s the deal here, it’s not the deal to segue from “how was it jumping onto a moving bus to “how do you feel about your best friend dying!”

“Absolutely. So you said you dealt with it, but much later? What about Jennifer, how did she cope?”

“Umm, I don’t know - I mean what’s normal in that situation? She cried, she wailed like a wounded animal. Her mum moved in. I was away and not there to support her like I should have been. We weren’t really a couple either by then. We were going to co-parent but not as a romantic couple you know so it was complicated. To be honest I think a little bit of her died right then - and then she died herself the following April so you know, what you see before you is the last man standing of that family unit that might have been.”

“Woo that’s tough. You’ve really been through the mill as it were.”

“Yeah, yeah but you know I AM still standing. I’m lucky.”

“And how did Jennifer die?”

“Car wreck”

“I’m so sorry”

“Thanks, me too”

“So how is that, being the only one left? Some people talk about losing key people as losing their witness.”

“Yes! That’s it, exactly. Now it’s just me here to remember Ava, to remember her coming in and out of this world”

Yeah yeah that’s hard. So you said you dealt with it later? How did that come about?”

“Midlife crisis I guess - when I turned 40, I had a bit of a meltdown, you know, wondering about my goals, what I had or hadn’t achieved. I basically “ran away” alone to Paris on my 40th birthday, to escape any awful surprise party! And you know, I quietly fell apart in a vat of wine! When I went home my friend Janey was just like “Keanu, it’s time, time for therapy!”

“Ahhh it’s great isn’t it, big fans of that on the show!”

“Yeah I guess, I mean, ahhh I wasn’t that comfortable taking the lid off but yeah it did me a favour and helped sort my shit out. And a lot of the guilt and pain of losing Ava was gone through belatedly during that process”

“And why did you feel guilty?”

“Mmmm well I think I started to think I was a curse - my sister had been sick with leukemia, Ava had died, Jen had died, River, others as well and I felt guilty for that stupid film I was working on when it happened! So yeah, there were lots of rocks to lift up, inspect what lay beneath and deal with my emotions.”

“Well you seem like you have your shit sorted now”

“I’m a work in progress!”

“So now you’re, 23 years on, how do you remember Ava and Jen now.”

“Well it’s hard to forget the day for Ava what with it being Christmas Eve. I sometimes visit their graves - after dark if I can to avoid being hounded”

“What has the world come to when a person can’t be left in peace to visit a loved one’s resting place”

“Yeah it’s fucked up right?”

“Precisely.”

“And what else? , well I do have one little thing that my friend Alex who’s an artist, made for me. It was because of something she said she did to remember her lost loved ones. She would get a Christmas ornament that in some way represented the person and hang it on her tree at Christmas. So she made this beautiful little stained glass bird to hang up on my tree or in the house if I don’t have a tree which sometimes happens. So, uh, Ava’s name in Latin would mean bird or bird like so that’s why she did that, yes so I always think of her then and you know I would think about where she would be at a given point like when my friends kids have started school again after summer break I would think “oh Ava would be starting you know kindergarten or elementary school etc.”

“And do your family share in that?”

“Yeah, yeah - especially my mom. She has no grandchildren so yeah she remembers and we’ll have a moment sometimes yeah but it can be lonely, not having the other parent there who shares the same loss.”

“Yes I’m sure it is. Grief can be very lonely sometimes. Well, Keanu I really can’t thank you enough for coming on my little podcast and sharing your experience of baby loss and loss in the public spotlight with us today. Thank you so much for telling us about your beautiful baby girl Ava and her mum Jen.”

“Thanks for having me - I know this might sound weird, but it’s been a pleasure talking with you and remembering them today so, thank you and thanks to Kerry who suggested it. She said it would be good for my soul and she, as always, was right!”

@fortheloveoffanfic @omg-imagine @iworshipkeanureeves @toomanystoriessolittletime @ladyreapermc @paperplanesandwallflowers @patric9

[3pirouette]

Fic: 40 Weeks (1/1)

Title: 40 Weeks By: TriplePirouette/3Pirouette Spoilers: First Avenger, that’s it. Disclaimer: They're not mine. Word Count: 4601 Distribution: AO3 Anyone else please ask first :)

Rated teen to mature due to content.

Story Summary: Every week farther away from him is a week closer to a new beginning.

A/N: For Steggy Bingo Bash Sentence Prompt: “I have eagerly been awaiting the day I could finally meet you… and I am not disappointed. You are beautiful.” Also, I’m sorry. Set during CA:TFA. 

TW: while I hate to give away the plot, this story is about Peggy dealing with an unplanned pregnancy while believing Steve is dead after going down on the Valkyrie. This may be a sensitive subject for many, please read or skip accordingly for your own mental health.

I have never been pregnant. ALl info is from the internet. 

Also, I’m sorry. I’m really, really sorry. This made me cry. You’ll probably need tissues.

~*~ Week 0

He’d almost died.

It was all she could think of as she pressed her body into his, their lips meeting with force, battling to be dominant, the air charged with lust and fear and relief as they shed their clothes as quickly as they could.

Every time she closed her eyes she saw it: she saw the way the tank aimed at him, how his shield barely made it up in time to deflect the load from the great barrel, how it exploded and pushed him back in a way he didn’t expect, how he landed near the great rotating treads, shocked, and his head just an inch away from disaster as the tank rolled forward before Dugan slid in and pushed him farther under where the treads could do no damage.

He couldn’t hear her when they finally triumphed, blood slipping from his ear. He looked shocked, dazed. She’d never seen him like that before.

Even small, before the serum, he’d seemed invincible to her. This reminded her that even Captain America could die.

He could hear her now as she moaned his name, his lips slipping against the flesh between her legs, licking and nipping and biting as she fisted her hands in his hair, pulling him up to her. That realization had made her feel lost, broken, and she needed him in a way she’d never needed anyone before. The touch of his hand was too little, the wrapping of his arms around her in a simple hug not enough. She’d slipped them into an empty supply room, locked the door, and pressed him against it. “I won’t let either of us die without knowing what it’s like to love one another.”

He’d held her face in his hands, gentle, and tried to reassure her. “That’s not going to happen. I won’t let that happen.”

She hadn’t argued with him, didn’t have it in her to play devil’s advocate. Instead, she kissed him. Surprising him, it took a moment for him to kiss her back, for him to let them melt together, but slowly his body started to vibrate on the same frequency hers was, it started to pick up on her need and desperation and it left them as they were now, him clutching her shoulders, sliding inside her sloppily as she balanced on the edge of an old desk, her legs wrapped around his hips and her lips marking him at his collar bone.

It was quick and frenzied, sloppy and amateur, but Peggy couldn’t help but feel a little more put together, a little more reassured as they lay on the creaking table, his head pillowed on her breasts, the both of them gasping for breath.

“I love you, Peggy Carter,” Steve whispered, kissing the flesh closest to him, “and I’m never letting you go.”

“And I love you,” she croaked out, her voice raw. She tangled her hands in his sweaty hair, her heart pounding in her chest. “But you and I both know that neither one of us is in control of what happens during this bloody war.”

He pressed up on his arms, hovering over her, his dog tags cold against her skin as he pushed a curl behind her ear. He looked like he wanted to say something, but he kept it to himself. Instead, he kissed her gently. He pulled away softly, his brow furrowing as he looked down at her. “How am I supposed to go back to that lonely tent without you now?”

She let her hands slide over his shoulders. “Needs must, you know,” she whispered, letting him gently help her to sitting. “I suspect my own bed will be quite disappointing.”

Steve bent, kissing her thigh as he picked up their discarded clothing. “Peg, we should…”

“We shouldn’t,” she stopped him as he stood, eyes serious. “if we want to keep working together, no one can know. They’ll toss me out of here in a second and you know that.”

He kissed her gently, handing her her slip. “I hate keeping us a secret.”

“I’d hate even more not knowing if you were alive or dead.”

~*~ Week 3

She hadn’t managed a night’s sleep since he went into the water. Every time she closed her eyes she saw him drowning, saw his hands reaching up for her. Saw his lifeless body floating away.

She wasn’t his widow, she wasn’t his anything, not officially. His belongings were put in storage and his name was mourned. Only the men that knew them best, the ones that saw the snuck kisses and hand holding, gave her any real sympathy.

Dugan sat with her, Pinky said a prayer with her, and Phillips had even hugged her.

There was no body, no funeral, no remembrance beyond that given to any other soldier when there was still so much more work to be done.

She could barely eat, couldn’t sleep, felt sick and tired all the time, and yet, she knew she had to march on.

There was a war to win. She was going to win it for him.

~*~ Week 6

She was shaking, and only partly due to the fact that she’d just thrown up most of what she’d eaten today quite violently. She held the phone to her ear, trying desperately to slow her heart rate.

She didn’t want it to be true, and yet she desperately did.

And if it was, she was absolutely beyond terrified.

There was another long ring before a polite English voice she’d never heard answered.

“I need to talk to Howard, please. Peggy Carter calling.” She was proud that her voice sounded almost steady. Her heart felt like it was going to pound out of her chest, the seconds it took Howard to get to the phone felt like hours.

“Peggy!” he called, excited. “It’s good to hear from you. How can I be of service?”

She took one shaky breath, then another. She’d never been ashamed of what they did, would never be, but the impact it was going to have on her life, the way it was going to change everyone’s opinion of her… she wasn’t ready for that.

She heard her mother’s voice in her head, criticizing the women at church who work skirts that were too short and who flirted to shamelessly. Harlots, Margaret. Girls like that give smart, determined women like us a bad name. All for what? They should be on their knees for praying, not for…humph!

“Peggy? You there?” Howard asked, his tone softening.

She wasn’t ready to lose them all. She didn’t know how she could avoid it, though.

“Howard. I… I need your help.”

~*~ Week 7

He met her in London, his eyes tight and worried as she disembarked the troop transport with her usual aplomb, not a hint of the desperate woman he’d spoken to on the phone about her. He watched her closely as they got in his car, as he introduced his new butler, as they drove far away from the base and to a small house he’d rented.

She managed to keep her composure through lunch, telling him how she and Steve had shared one moment of unrestrained passion, how neither of them had thought anything could come of it, and how, three weeks after he was pronounced KIA she realized that he’d managed to make sure she’d never be alone, even without him.

Though she hadn’t taken a test, Peggy Carter knew with certainty that she was pregnant with Steve Rogers’ child.

She swallowed, looking at Howard frankly, her eyes clear. “I don’t mind being called a whore or a harlot, that I can take and have brought upon myself as my mother would say,” Peggy quickly relayed. “My job is lost, I’m sure.” She steeled herself, but it didn’t quite work. “But I can’t…” she teared up, wrapping her hands around her still flat belly, “I don’t know how to protect it. The Army… they’ll want…”

She dissolved into tears, sending Howard to his knees beside her. “I’ll help you, Peg. You don’t have anything to worry about.” He took her hand in his, waiting until she wiped the tears from her eyes to look at him. “Nobody’s going to touch that baby, ok? If I have to marry you myself, no one is going to touch that kid.”

~*~ Week 10

The guest house at Howard’s New York home is more than suitable for her, and she takes to wandering it aimlessly as it is quite large.

She resigned her commission, citing personal reasons much to Phillips chagrin.

How am I supposed to win this war without you, Carter? Phillips’s voice echoes in her mind.

Once, she would have bristled at that, would have rethought her decision to leave and felt the pull of duty.

She had only one duty now. It had been easier than she thought it would be to say goodbye.

One day she���d tell them the truth. Phillips, the Commandos, they were her friends, too. She still was barely thicker around the middle than she had been, not enough to show and not enough to be suspicious. But right now, she held the only living genetic sample of Steve Rogers, and there were nations that would kill for that, including her own. For now, she could still hide in plain sight.

Their baby’s safety was all that mattered to her.

She made another round, checking the windows and doors and making sure the gun by her bedside was loaded and ready to go if need be. She’d already pulled it twice on poor Mr. Jarvis, but he seemed to be getting used to her paranoia.  

~*~ Week 12

Ana is a godsend.

She’s funny and quick-witted, and thankfully good with a needle and thread. Peggy’s clothes all need letting out at the seams now, and Ana entertains her with silly stories of her day and tales of the farmer’s market in town as she makes alterations.

She’s become her only close friend, and Peggy is ever grateful that not once did she see pity or judgement in the woman’s eyes.

Her mother continues to refuse to speak to her.

~*~ Week 16

Howard has proposed no less than three times since he’s been back from the front.

His simplest solution is to not give the Army any reason to believe the child belongs to Rogers. While Peggy can see the wisdom in this, she can’t quite seem to get on board with the idea of denying the man she loved his only true legacy.

“I’m thinking about it,” she would tell him nearly twice a day.

And she was thinking about it.

~*~ Week 18

She’s glad the doctor Howard has found her is knowledgeable and discrete. She knows, because Howard refuses to lie to her, that they take an extra vial of blood for him at each visit, and he runs his own tests.

She’s relieved that the midwife Ana finds her is sweet and kind, and that the woman simply holds her hand when Peggy breaks into tears when the woman asks about the baby’s father.

“I’m so sorry my love,” the midwife whispers gently. “So many young women have lost so much in this war.”

If her midwife believes her to be anything other than a war widow, or notices the lack of a ring on Peggy’s finger, she never says.

~*~ Week 20

Ana has to take Peggy shopping for maternity clothes now. She’s showing and can no longer get by with letting buttons stay undone and letting out seams. The lacy frocks and pastel colors turn her off of the small section in the department store.

She can’t help but watch the women around her, some barely showing, some looking ready to burst, and wonder what their lives are like.

Do they have doting husbands at home? Indifferent husbands? Men overseas who may never see their child’s birth?

Are they like her? Lost and alone and so very, very unsure of how even tomorrow will go?

Ana gently guides her through the store despite her daze, and helps her choose some sensible tops and dresses.

She doesn’t plan on leaving Howard’s estate other than for doctor visits any time soon, so the design matters little in the long run.

~*~ Week 21

Lying in bed she can feel it.

Little flutters.

They’re easy to ignore during the day, but at night they’re positively maddening. She rubs her stomach, hands gliding over the tightening flesh, closing her eyes and imagining they were Steve’s hands.

Tears come to her eyes.

Would he have been happy? Excited? Scared? She’s imagined each emotion a million times over. She’s never really been able to decide.

Some days she barely knows how she feels about it.

The flutters get more insistent, no real kicks or punches yet, just little backflips. She imagines a little boy, lithe and graceful as his father, or a little girl, smooth like a ballerina.

She smiles.

“Bide your time, little one,” she whispers, and the movement calms down. “You’ll be out here with all of us soon and there will be little time for rest.”

~*~ Week 23

Her days are the same now: mornings to herself to prepare for the day, afternoon tea with Ana and a rousing walk along the grounds with Mr. Jarvis. There’s the occasional doctor appointment or meeting with the midwife thrown in, but dinner is steadily at 7 and she indulges in warm baths and a book before bed.

Lying in bed is when her day turns.

She’s never really quite sure what’s going to happen after she turns the lights out.

Some nights she talks to her baby, having decided on calling him or her simply “My Little One” for the time being. If her child’s restless she knows her voice will calm it: stories, lullabies, or just rambling about her day.

Some nights all she can do is cry. Usually, it’s gentle streams of tears falling from her lashes quietly as her mind drifts to the man who will never know his child, who she imagines never understood how much she loved him, who had plans for a life after the war with her…

Sometimes she sobs; big, heaving sobs that seem to come up from the depths of her soul. This happens often after the nightmares. She has the nightmares less and less, but they’re no less dark, no less graphic for the time that’s passed. She wakes up, gasping, feeling like she’s drowning herself, and lets the tears come.

Some nights she sleeps, deep and dreamless. Those are the good nights, when she can rest and rejuvenate, when she can wake up the next day feeling like she just might be ready for whatever will come next. They’re few and far between.

Most night she simply misses him. She’s started talking to the darkness, telling Steve, who she desperately needs to believe is watching over her and their child, of all she’d done that day, even though she like to think he’s seen. Sometimes she balls up the quilt, imagining the weight of the fabric is his body behind her, wrapped around her, holding her close and keeping her warm, running his hand over the swell in her belly and whispering in her ear as he kisses her neck.

She whispers into the night, wondering what she should name their Little One.

She doesn’t get an answer back.

~*~ Week 25

Peggy’s indigestion keeps her from enjoying dinner more nights than not, and it has both the Jarvises and Howard worried.

Peggy reminds Howard that he should be less worried about her indigestion and more worried that if he asks her to marry him one more time she will literally punch him. He opens his mouth to make the proposal, but stops when she simply raises her eyebrows at him, the challenge clear.

The midwife tells them all it’s perfectly normal, and stays with Peggy to talk about where she wants to give birth.

Peggy and Howard both agree the main house will be the safest, and neither is willing to risk a hospital.

By the end of the week, Howard has one of the downstairs wings converted to a hospital wing: a birthing room and a fully equipped surgery ready and waiting.

~*~ Week 27

“Howard says he’s officially put me on the payroll as a security consultant.” Peggy sighs into the darkness. “I asked him what that means and he said it just means I don’t need to worry about anything ever again.”

She rubs her belly, looking up to the ceiling. “For what it’s worth, I almost punched him again. He still has a bit of a bruise from the last time he proposed.” She chuckles. “But he did promise that when I was ready, he thought Stark Industries could use someone like me, and that my pay was merely a retainer fee.”

She turns on her side, pulling the quilt up around her shoulders. “Nearly two-thirds the way there, my love.” She squeezes her eyes shut, pretending his arms are wound around her. “Ana wanted to throw me a baby shower, but I couldn’t think of anyone to invite. We’re going to go shopping for the bassinet and such tomorrow, instead. She and Mr. Jarvis have already bought me more than enough bottles and diapers to last well until the Little One is walking.”

Her voice cracks, tears gathering in the corners of her eyes. “I can’t believe you won’t be here for this.”

~*~ Week 30

She doesn’t fit into her bras anymore, and Ana has never been more of a godsend. The woman brings her a bag full of options from the department store and sits with her, chatting calmly as she sews little cotton pads to go in them while Peggy sniffles, unprepared for the leaking and the soreness that’s accompanied this new stage in her pregnancy.

Even when feeling her lowest, with washcloths stuffed in her slip and her face red after bidding Ana a soft farewell, the back of her mind tells her that Steve would have gathered her in his arms and held her close, telling her she was beautiful and amazing and carrying a new life.

She wraps her arms around herself, weeping, and sinks to the floor, crying for all she’s lost and the things her child will never know.

~*~ Week 32

Her mother still refuses to speak with her, and she’s resorted to letters.

She hasn’t said who the baby’s father is, or that there is a good chance her grandchild will be the genetic carrier of an abundance of useful information that could cure disease or lead to another generation of super soldiers.

She mails what she tells herself is the last letter, the contents telling her mother that, should she care to know, Peggy has found a wonderful group of friends that will make sure her and her baby are protected and cared for no matter what happens.

Peggy sits, staring out the window of her guest house, rubbing her belly and thinks it’s a shame that the baby won’t have a grandmother to bake it cookies.

She laughs when she realizes Mr. Jarvis can fill that role very well, and that his cookies are far better than anything her mother managed to cook from scratch.

~*~ Week 35

She wakes up the whole household at three in the morning, convinced she’s having the baby too early.

Jarvis resorts to making tea and a full English Breakfast despite the time.

Ana holds her hand tightly, sitting by her bedside in the birthing room in the mansion as they wait for the midwife.

Howard paces a rut in the floor outside her room, smoking like a chimney and muttering to himself.

“Braxton Hicks,” the midwife tells her cheerfully despite the ungodly hour. “That baby isn’t quite ready to come out, yet.”

Ana sits with her for hours after the midwife leaves, never letting go of her hand.

~*~ Week 37

She sits with a list of names. She tries to imagine his reaction to each of them, but can’t.

Howard has become insistent that she put him down as the father, he notes that it won’t spoil his reputation any and that him as the legal father will afford the baby a comfortable life and there will be far fewer questions.

She thanks him, then threatens to punch him.

She’s already decided that the father’s name on the birth certificate will stay blank. Better no father than the wrong man, she thinks.

The baby will have her last name.

The rest, she hopes, will come in the next three weeks.

~*~ Week 38

She paces the halls of the big house through the night. Howard and Jarvis, much to her and Ana’s amusement and chagrin, have become insistent on her staying in the mansion. They want her close as the big day nears.

She tries to picture what Steve would be like, tries to guess which pieces of her friends he’d put together: Jarvis’ anxiety and preparation, Howard’s determination and excitement…

Steve was always a very tactile person, and she misses every hug and touch she knows he’d have given her. She can feel them burning on her skin in their absence.

The Little One is active and low, ready to come any day now.

What was once fear and confusion is starting to transform in her belly into excitement.

~*~ Week 39

“Mr. Jarvis,” Peggy calls from the hallway just after dinner on a quiet Tuesday, “I’m afraid I’ve made a bit of a mess.”

He moves out of the kitchen, his usual placations ready to spill from his lips until he sees the sight of her: puddle below her, legs dripping, one hand gripping her belly and one holding the sideboard to keep her standing.

Peggy thinks, as she watches Jarvis and Howard turn into tornados of commotion around her, that perhaps Steve would have been the calm one. He always did manage to have his head about him in a battle. Jarvis is slipping in her mess as he tries to get her over it without incident, Howard is on the phone, yelling incoherent sentences at the midwife.

Ana, thankfully, takes her hand and helps her leave them behind, guiding her back to the birthing room that had become her bedroom for the last few days.

Yes, she imagines, as Ana helps her into a dry nightgown and pull her hair back, he would be calm and certain, slow and deliberate, making sure she had everything she needed. Ana’s helping her into the bed as the midwife arrives, and like before the woman stays by her side, talking softly as the midwife examines her and declares that they’ll have a baby sooner rather than later.

Peggy thinks it might be the pain, but as she’s enduring the worst of the contractions, she swears she can hear his voice in her ear, telling her to keep going, that she’s strong, that she doesn’t need him, or anyone, to do this.

When they sit her up to push, she imagines it is Steve’s strong form behind her, not pillows and a bedframe holding her up as she yells with each effort, the midwife between her legs and Ana at her side.

When the baby slips from her body she imagines he catches her as she falls back, limp, his strong arms holding her up, his lips at her ear, his cheek next to hers.

But when the midwife hands her the baby, swaddled tight and eyes opening gently, any ghost of Steve is gone. Her heart pounding in her chest, she hears the words over and over in the back of her mind, and she’s wondering if it is him, if he was with her. If he’s left her this gift and this knowledge.

You can do this.

“A little boy,�� the midwife says as she hands Peggy her son. He squeals a bit, lets out a soft cry, then settles, opening his eyes.

Peggy smiles at him, eyes filled with tears. She presses the blanket back from his chin, taking in the radiant blue of his eyes, the tiny eyelashes that surround them, the strong set of his still barely there jaw.

She knows, one day, there will be no question about his parentage.

She presses a soft kiss to his head, cradling him close as he squeezes his eyes shut and lets out a cry, her heart more full of love than she could have ever imagined. She can’t tell if she’s laughing or crying as she speaks. “I have eagerly been awaiting the day I could finally meet you… and I am not disappointed. You are beautiful.”

She gazes at her son as the midwife finishes her work, feeling but not registering the passing of the afterbirth and the older woman’s gentle washing of her legs and thighs. Ana gently cleans the child as she holds him, unable to look away. Finally, the midwife sits by her side, papers in her hands. “I’ve filled out everything else. All that’s left is his name.”

Peggy gulps, hard, undecided for a moment, but his eyes gaze up at her and she knows. “Michael Steven Carter.” She expects tears when she says it, but they don’t come, and that’s how she knows she’s made the right decision. “For two important men that I wish he could have known.”

The midwife sets a caring hand on her arm as Ana turns away, sniffing. “A beautiful memorial.” The older woman fills out the paper and leaves it at Peggy’s bedside. “I can bathe him for you, if you like?”

“No, I don’t think I can bear to let go just yet,” she whispers, still in awe of the small movements he’s making. Each stretch, each wiggle she can almost feel coinciding to a movement she felt from the outside. To have him in her arms is a blessing she won’t overlook.

“Then perhaps we should try feeding him?”

Peggy nods, smiling up at the woman. “Please.”

~*~ Week 40

She stares at him, asleep in his little bassinet. He’ll be waking soon, she can tell from how swollen and tight she feels that he’s due for another feeding, even if she hadn’t looked at the clock.

When she woke, she could have sworn that she saw Steve standing over the bassinet, his form strong and stoic in the moonlight.

She blinked, and he was gone.

Peggy didn’t have time for fantasies of lost loves any longer. She still wondered at how Steve might react, what he’d say, but she’d been too busy to wonder too much, or miss him too deeply.

Michael was her whole world right now, and keeping him safe was her first, and only, job. Howard said it was for too early to know if he’d exhibit any of the traits his father had been endowed with, but any and all tests they’d run showed that he was a healthy, normal little boy.

She still hadn’t figured out how she’d tell him about his father, or what they’d do if he was stronger and faster than all his peers as he grew, but every time it popped through her mind she reminded herself that was a problem for years down the line.

Tonight, when she held him tight to her breast, she could tell him unedited stories of the bravery of his father, knowing that the boy would never remember her words.

Tonight was all that mattered.

Tonight, and her beautiful boy in her arms.

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

Top 5 GOOD Things About Season Two

Oh, season two... how you hurt me so. 

Anyone who knows me knows how I feel about this game-- S2 of TWDG is my least favorite of all five games. I could probably give you a top TEN things that I hate about season two, but... while I don’t love it, I do believe that there is good to be found in it. That’s what I want to discuss today. 

I did have some help brainstorming ideas for this list, so big thanks to @pi-creates, @kaylee-wolf, @taurusicorn2400, and @daisystarss for bouncing ideas around with me! :D

5. The Lee dream sequence.

This scene is super well done. The only reason that it’s so low on the list is because I tend to forget about it due to all the bullshit surrounding it. It usually isn’t until Arvo shoots Clementine that I remember Lee’s gonna show up and make me cry. Then he leaves all too quickly, and it’s back to the Kenny/Jane bullshit train. 

But pushing aside the shitshow, I love this scene. Of course, emotions are all over the place seeing Lee again given the state he was in at the end of s1. Plus there’s something about seeing baby Clementine again after being an older version of her that gets me. 

Their talk is interesting, too, calling back to your choices about Lilly and Carley/Doug, plus discussing Duck being bit. The part that’s always stood out to me, and I’m sure everyone else, is when Clementine asks Lee why people do the things they do.

And Lee’s response is one that doesn’t just apply to s2, it applies to several characters over the course of the series: “Clem, people don't always make sense... 'Cause bad things happen to everyone. And it's hard to keep bein' yourself after they do.”

As the conversation goes on, he also says, “Well, it's not like math, Clem. Sometimes there just isn't a right answer... but part of growing up is doing what's best for the people you care about...even if sometimes...that means hurting someone else.”

“I don’t want to hurt anyone.”

“...It’s not that easy.” 

Ugh, it’s so good. It ends with Lee asking what he can say to make Clementine feel better, and it really just hurts because y’know it’s not real, y’know that Clementine’s dreaming all of this and Lee’s going to go away.

Overall a powerful scene that gets me every time. 

4. Clementine walking through the snowstorm

Okay look.... I adore this scene. Everything about it. 

Like okay, we have the stupid bullshit that is Kenny and Jane being literal children in the truck, then we nearly crash. Kenny leaves to look for gas, Jane gets Clementine to drive which dumb idea Jane and she crashes. 

That part sucks, but then the actual greatness begins. Jane runs off with AJ, and Clementine’s left alone with nothing but her gun as she begins her walk through the terrible blizzard. 

It has such a sense of loneliness to it-- hearing Clementine shiver and walk around calling out for help before going silent, the song ‘It’s Out There’ that plays while the wind whips and whistles, and then seeing all the frozen walkers standing around like statues really gives you a sense that something terrible is going to happen. It’s this weird calm before the storm kind of thing that also happens to take place during a harsh snow fall? if that makes sense? 

It’s a beautiful scene but it’s also sad, y’know? Sad because once again, Clementine is all alone. She’s been through so much bullshit, and this bullshit train isn’t even at it’s final stop. She’s alone, she’s still injured from when Arvo shot her, she’s gonna freeze to death if she doesn’t keep moving, she has no idea where the fuck Kenny, Jane, and AJ are, and just... it’s a lot. 

But damn it, it’s so good. 

3. AJ is born

AJ being born is one of the best things to happen in S2, and not just because AJ is a super interesting character himself in S2 or even what his being born does for the story. 

If AJ wasn’t born here, then we wouldn’t have had him in TFS where he finally got to become this compelling character and player in the overall story. Don’t get me wrong, his birth does bring an cool aspect to S2 when you willfully ignore how the hell he’s managed to stay alive and healthy the entire time.

Not only that, but we get to see the start of Clementine’s relationship with him. It doesn’t matter what choices you pick, Clementine shows time and time again that she cares about AJ. She nearly breaks down when she believes he died in the snow before the Kenny and Jane fight, then cries again when she discovers he’s alive. 

I enjoy the big sister aspect they went with for Clementine [it definitely beats ANF’s mom nonsense] and I like the growth it shows with her relationship to Rebecca as well... even though that could’ve been written a lot smoother. Rebecca just kind of does a 180 and they blame it on pregnant hormones which.... eh, okay sure. 

For all it’s flaws, this season gave us the start of AJ and I can’t hate it for that, y’know? 

2. Carver is a pretty great antagonist

I like Carver. I think he’s a great antagonist and I really wish they hadn’t killed him off as early as they did.

I find him to be a fascinating character study, y’know? 

From the very beginning, even before we get to physically meet him, we’re told that Carver is a threat. The cabin group are running from someone, and we can easily put the pieces together that Rebecca might be pregnant with his baby rather than Alvin’s.

Then we actually get to meet him when he comes to the cabin and it’s well executed. From Sarah having a panic attack at seeing a glimpse of him through the window, to his friendly and charismatic nature, to the way he talks to Clementine and just... it’s unsettling.

He’s clever, and he knows that Clementine’s covering for the cabin group, but he’s trying to trick her into giving him info. I also hate how smug he gets when he finds the photo of Sarah, but then he just looks at her, and asks, “You have no idea who these people are, do you?” or whatever and just... something about that, y’know? 

Then his “You have a nice day,” as he leaves and you know he’s coming right back with more people, so the group has gotta go. 

Then of course comes his later scenes where he shows up with his people to the lodge, murders Walter while saying he didn’t want to do it but Kenny left him no choice, and he can possibly murder Alvin if Kenny keeps shooting which is a huge holy shit moment because of how Rebecca reacts. 

Ugh, y’know just the way Carver talks to Rebecca and is so matter-of-fact about the baby being his and how he justifies his actions. Like, we can’t forget Reggie and how Carver threw him off the roof only to turn around like “I liked Reggie, he was chill, but he was weak.”

I dunno man, it’s super well done!

I truly believe Carver could’ve gone down as the best antagonist in the series if the writers hadn’t killed him off so damn early to make more room for Kenny to become the new antagonist of the season. Ugh.

I don’t even have an issue with how he died, either. Having Kenny kill him the way he did makes sense and it’s brutal, it was just premature.

Anyway, Carver’s pretty great. One of the best parts of S2. 

1. Clementine 

I mean, are we really surprised? Clementine is what makes this game playable. She’s the best written, most consistent character [which I know is a bit iffy because we do make choices for her but ya get me] and her growth over the season is the most compelling compared to the other characters. 

Hell, of the four Clementine’s we get across the series, this Clementine is my second favorite! She’s fantastic! 

I also love how self-aware she is that her group is just a bunch of morons and she’s gotta do everything around here, but then the same group underestimates her time and time again even though she’s proven herself to be the most competent. 

And on top of that, she goes through so much bullshit. Right from the start, Christa’s still cold to her after what happened to Omid and the baby, then she gets separated from Christa and nearly drowns in a river, then she comes across a dog that attacks and nearly killing her, forcing her to fight back which kills the dog, and then when she finds some decent people, she passes out and this group thinks it’s a walker bite because their “doctor” is incompetent. They lock her up in a shed because ??? so she has to break in and steal supplies to sew up her own arm, which she does and you feel the pain of it the whole way through, BUT THEN she gets attacked by a walker and has to fight it off before the dumb dumb crew come in to help her. 

And that’s just the first part of episode one. 

It’s like the writers were like “Hey, let’s torture Clem so that we can get easy sympathy points from the audience” and then dialed it back a bit because if you look at some of the initial concepts for this season... oof.

But really, S2 in a nutshell is basically “Clementine does anything and gets punished for it.” 

However, it’s not all bad and a lot of it does make her story all the more interesting as it progresses. She goes from a young girl who needs a group to survive, to a survivor herself who is capable of taking care of herself and those she loves. 

This part pertains to my personal ending for this game-- So, by the time we reach the shit show that is the Kenny and Jane fight, I want Clementine to get as far away from both of them as fucking possible. For me, the best endings Clementine can have is to either go alone, or to go to Wellington. 

Wellington’s my personal favorite because I like the idea of Clementine being in a community with strong walls and people to help with AJ. I mean, we gotta throw out the logic when it comes to AJ surviving because in every single endings, he should be dead. 

Honestly, that’s the only thing that keeps me from shooting Kenny. Hell, in my opinion, walking off into the woods with him instead of staying at Wellington is the worst ending in the entire game-- I’d rather go with ding dong dingus Jane than stick around with Kenny, but for me, neither of those are a good conclusion to Clementine’s story and character in S2

Anyway, endings aside, Clementine is the only part of the story that doesn’t make me side eye the writers the way I do for everything else... well, I side eye them sometimes but S2 as a whole is such a mess that it takes a lot to not straight up glare at them and the amount of fuck ups they had here. 

Clementine is hands down the best part of S2.

--- Honorable Mentions

-Big brother Luke in the first couple episodes -This game does have a bunch of different endings that you can get, which is pretty neat until you realize that they mean practically nothing come ANF and they’re totally unbalanced sooo... nice try? -Uncle Pete is pretty cool -The setting of the ski resort is super nice and cozy until murder happens. -In fact, the snowy nature is visually pretty and the skyboxes are some of the best in the series. 

---

So what do you think? Do you agree with this list? What are some of your favorite parts of Season 2? Are you looking at this and asking where the Kenny entry is? Well, I’m sure if you scroll up just a wee bit, you’ll find your answer. 

Have any suggestions for future T5F’s? Feel free to send ‘em in! :D

Next week’s T5F Top 5 Character Deaths That Made Me Side-Eye the Writers