#my first celebrity crush and I was so correct for that she has NEVER done me wrong

[tabithatwo]

[diaryoftherest]

Losing My Cool

A debate breaks out at my office once a week.

It always starts with Brad, the portrait of a male executive, and his booming voice echoing around the space as people join in.

Beyonce or Taylor Swift?

I was new to the office when it first started. It was office chit-chat at first. Water-cooler chatter born from something Brad’s wife saw on TikTok. It was a dumb debate made up of parasocial facts and made-up figures. Easy celebrity gossip. They are both billionaires who probably wouldn’t be affected if an average white guy named “Brad” railed against them.

It wasn’t until last week when Brad came in smelling of condescension and phrased it differently.

“Who is cooler: Beyonce or Taylor Swift?”

The debate was months old, a revival of a hot topic from the summer of 2023 that has now become a relic of a pop culture reference. Still, Brad was so excited that he pounced on me when I didn’t answer.

“Come on,” Brad said. “Everyone knows who is cooler. Just say it.”

Everyone else in the office said it: Beyonce’s cooler. Then, their moment of antagonized fun was over, and they went back to typing. The bullpen of onlookers watched and waited: they wanted me to say that Taylor Swift was lame and uncool, and I would get extra points if I joined in with a “she can’t even sing.”

But, I didn’t say anything.

This is how I learned that I never really knew what cool was anyway.

—

I stopped being honest about what I thought was “cool” when I was thirteen.

It all hit me when I was in sixth grade. I had a mild, middle-school crush on a boy from my math class. In the hallway before class, we exchanged iPods and flirted in the lackluster, sweaty way that only middle schoolers do. One day, he laughed when he saw my most recently played music.

“Beyonce? She always sounds the same,” he said to me. “Try The Front Bottoms.”

I loved Beyonce at that age. The morning before, I had practiced her vocal runs on “Halo” until my brother told me that I was annoying. It was the same year that “Single Ladies” swept YouTube, driving people into a craze of black leotards and obscene moves. That year, I was obsessed with Beyonce.

Then, I was embarrassed. A boy my age spoke with conviction and authority about Beyonce’s value and, suddenly, it all dropped in front of me. He was an arbiter of taste and a definer of what was good. I was in the wrong with him.

Cool was an underground band that no one had heard of, someone on the fringes or up and up that would have a one-hit moment and retire. Beyonce was too Sasha Fierce. She was in a girl band and how lame is that, right?

Every other bubble gum pop icon: Ariana Grande, Lady Gaga, Miley Cyrus, Nicki Minaj, or any other powerful, femme hitmaker was an unspoken no. My first generation iPod touch full of teeny boppers was dull, so banal to him.

That boy never spoke to me outside of class again, but I didn’t try anymore. I learned a lesson I would never unlearn that day: as a girl, you can never do or have anything “cool.”

—

Cool is a judgment on women and non-binary people. It is the chill, subtle way of saying “This is what I think is right. Here is where you are not that. Uncool- bad.”

Most women and non-binary people have defenses against this, an equally subtle counter-move of avoidance. Most men won’t see it in plain sight, but it is in every conversation: an unwillingness to share because they do not want to be contemptuous. It is laid out like a response sheet: if he says A, then the answer is B. A perfect example comes from “What is your favorite movie?”

“What is your favorite movie?”

The answer is not: “It’s Little Women.”

The correct answer is: “Oh. What’s yours?”

If they say “Pulp Fiction,” then the answer is: “True Romance.”

So on and so forth.

It might read like a cheat sheet, but it’s something women everywhere have done since the dawn of time: dodging the judgment of men by omission.

—

I fell in love for the first time when I was a senior in college. Scratch that; I fell in deep infatuation with a boy who called me when he was drunk to tell me how funny I was. He had the look of a tall-dark-and-handsome Peter Parker. That year, I had dyed my hair seventeen times to make sure it was the right kind of Mary Jane red so it felt written in the stars.

Matt was a fraternity boy, obnoxiously always drunk but turning each moment into a funny story that I could relay to female friends later so it felt worth it. Matt would play music constantly: in the shower, in the car, in my bed, as he was falling asleep, and I was wide awake listening to his Goth Babe remixes. He was cool about music in that he had good taste and was judgmental about it. We connected when I said that I listened to Open Mic Eagle.

I never told him that, before I met him on weekends, I blasted and screamed Taylor Swift.

One night, after too many whisky sours, I followed him back home, walking ten steps behind like a puppy waiting to be praised or kicked. Matt played Poo Shiesty on the way home, blasting “Back In Blood” through his water-damaged speakers. We were halfway through the uphill walk through the Midwest winter when the song started for a fourth time.

“Again?” I asked.

“You don’t like Pooh Shiesty now?” Matt asked. He had been dancing in the snow moments before, but he stopped as soon as I spoke, looking at me with accusation.

“I liked it the first time,” I said.

“What do you want to listen to then?” Matt asked.

“Try ‘Cruel Summer,’” I said with a smile. I said it like a joke, knowing Matt would never play Taylor Swift, not even for me. A part of me hoped he would say: “Whatever you want, babe.”

He didn’t. He laughed and then mimed vomiting.

“What the fuck?” he said.

I started to argue but realized I would never win. I let him lecture me on why Taylor Swift was dumb; a graceless lack of musical talent, in his opinion. How could I, someone interested in music, like something like that? Was I so basic? Was I serious? I couldn’t have been serious, in his opinion. If I was serious, that was gross.

He kept playing “Back In Blood” until we got to my house. I told him I was tired and he left, bouncing to a party down the block while still blasting the same song.

I fell asleep crying to “champagne problems.”

—

In 2017, Ed Sheeran released his studio album “Divide.” It had top hits like “Shape of You” and “Perfect” that repeated on the radio until listeners knew every chord. People who worked in customer service at this time could probably recite every word of the “Perfect” chorus like it was slam poetry because that is how much recognition it got.

The same year, Bruno Mars released 24K Magic. This album and its titular groove, “24k Magic,” had high highs: the best example being when Zendaya performed the song on Lip Sync Battle, clad in an ensemble that made her look just like Bruno. Each song on the album is catchier than the last. The album quickly became a part of pop culture, leading teens to my high school to ask each other to prom with signs that read “You’re What I Like” while blasting the song “That’s What I Like.”

Both of these albums outperformed their previous hits. Both of these men launched international tours in March of 2017. Both of these men made millions on their songs, merch, and overall success of the tour.

Not once in 2017 was I asked: “Ed Sheeran or Bruno Mars?”

—

“Just say it,” Brad said. He focused more directly on me this time, leaning against my desk as he spoke.

“Beyonce or Taylor Swift?”

I bit down on my tongue and tried not to react too visually.

I knew I couldn’t say Taylor Swift. I thought this would be over with the overwhelming success and fun of the Eras tour, the release and re-release of records like they were being made overnight, and the obvious love that most women had for her collection of work on full display. Still, most men loved to hate her. The groups of co-workers who stared at me, waiting for me to answer, were the same people who had spent months complaining about how she “ruined the Chiefs game.”

It felt equally unfair to say Beyonce. It was only a decade before that people refused to think of her as anything more than a pop act. The launch of the Lemonade album coupled with an insane Coachella performance and hit after hit asserted Beyonce as a force to be reckoned with always. It also cemented her as a cultural icon. Yet, these men were choosing her as cool now only because they wanted to pit one woman against another.

Could Beyonce not have her success? Did she have to be compared? Or was she being compared simply to bring Taylor down?

Both of these women were billionaires and record breakers and instead of celebrating that, all of the men around me were putting them in a hypothetical cage match and making me choose.

Could we not let both these women have success and celebrate them for it? No, this was America’s new favorite misogynistic pastime and I had to participate. But, no matter what way I answered, I was losing.

I had been losing for years. Every time I’d changed my answer to appease a man, borrowed his opinion as mine to avoid being judged, or bitten my tongue so I’d be considered “cool” came flooding back to me.

I was never cool, but I had been playing it for years. Now, I was exhausted.

Brad looked at me, still waiting for me to answer. I shook my head.

It was never worth an answer.

[mattsmithwife]

The Letter - Christmas Special (Brother Jace x Reader) Modern AU

A/N: It's still Christmas and I barely had time to write today, and I made this one in a hurry, so here it is. I really proofread it really fast, I don't know if the grammar is correct so sorry and happy Christmas.

English is not my first language. I don’t own any of the House of The Dragons/Fire & Blood characters nor do I claim to own them.

Summary: Jace's stepsister receives a letter and believe me, it's not from Santa Claus.

TW: mention of encouraging suicide, adoption, mention of blood, physical and verbal aggression, angst. Word count: 1,194 words

Suicide is not the way out, please don't try that, I'm here if anyone needs it. Seek professional help if possible

Christmas, the magical holiday filled with joy, laughter, Christmas lights and Aegon drunker than usual because according to him there was a reason to be drunk. The Targaryens weren't religious, but they weren't atheists either, they were almost agnostic, but Daemon was a convinced and assumed Atheist. Fortunately, they celebrated Christmas.

Jace was at your side helping to finish the gingerbread house, he glued a wall while you finished the gingerbread men. The kitchen looked like a battlefield, and you thanked the lord of organization, Aemond, weren't there to lecture for u and jace.

- Yn, there's something wrong.

-What did you do?

You don't look up while you're decorating the cookies, Jace scratches his throat, and you look up to see one wall glued inside out and the other upside down.

-Jace, Aemond will kill us. Pray he doesn't come now.

It was said and done, Aemond arrived with Helaena and gifts for the family. Jace looked at you with wide eyes, desperate so you threw a clean napkin over the gingerbread house and shortly after Aemond arrived in the kitchen. If Jace opened his mouth he would stutter, so you spoke for him.

-Why is this covered?

-It's a surprise.

-That wasn't planned, it should stick to the plan, Strong. -he says while directing his gaze to Jace who was quiet as a mouse.

-I know your MBTI cognitive functions are geared toward planning, but you can stop bitching just today.

Aemond sighed knowing that if he started debating it would just waste time and not stick to his Christmas planning, he didn't have time for that and when you forced Puss in Boots eyes, he couldn't take it. As soon as he leaves the kitchen, you and Jace switch places, he finishes the cookies while you tidy up (try to tidy up) the gingerbread house.

- Honey, how did you do that?

-I was distracted...

-how did you do it? What would catch your attention in the midst of flour, sugar, etc.?

He didn't answer, at least not out loud because he thought to himself, he was looking at your ass when you leaned against the kitchen counter. How could he say that to you? being you, his (foster) sister and Aemond's ward. Oh man, even Daemon and Harwin wouldn't be able to hold Aemond down if he found out about this, since the blonde had a crush on you.

-I managed to hear the noise of something being noisy, as if there was a rat, but it was just my impression.

-That's good, I'm disgusted with rats.

Aemond left his dress on your bed, he had bought you a red vinyl dress. His house was decorated entirely in the family colours that were red, green and black. Green to symbolize the Hightower, Black for Rhaenyra and her children, and red has been the family colour for generations.

You were leaving the kitchen when Helaena brought you a letter, she said she it at the door and couldn't see who left it. You opened the letter, and you felt your throat dry, Aemond who was coming down the stairs was surprised that you were paralyzed and Jace who went after you saw that you closed your fist, thus crumpling the letter.

You walked past Aemond and locked yourself in the bathroom, without even noticing you dropped the crumpled paper on the stairs. Aemond was beside Jace who had taken the letter, reading along with the brunette. They were both angry, blind with rage.

It was a letter saying that you would never be a Targaryen/Velaryon or Hightower and that Christmas is in family, biological family, so you should be spending it alone. That you should have died in childbirth or killed yourself while you still had time because you were a nuisance, a stumbling block for the family.

Jace and Aemond asked Aegon and Helaena to try to comfort you and that they wouldn't be long, both elders read the letter too and went immediately to take care of you. Jace has already seen the guys mocking you and/or tormenting you (even if you ignore it) and after he and Aegon beat them up, he thought he had stopped, but it seems like he didn't, and he knew exactly where they would be.

They weren't going home for the holidays, they were college football players and their families lived out of state, thus staying in the dorms alone. Daemon watched them both go to the car angrily as he got out of his car with caraxes, a 60 centimetres tall Great Dane, on a leash.

-What are you up to?

-The guys, from when you were drafted in college, sent a letter to Yn.

Oh man, Daemon didn't even need to read the letter to be mad. He would start a war for the people he loves and you being the main one he loved. He and the boys came up with a plan quickly, and Aemond took Vhagar along. Vhagar was born in the same litter as Caraxes and was 80 centimetres tall.

Arriving on campus, Jace saw the idiots practicing, he whistled and walked over to them. They looked at Jace smiling and mocking how he had come to defend his adopted little sister again and on his own this time.

-And who said I'm alone?

Daemon and Aemond appeared behind them from the four idiots who had been tormenting you. The oldest of the idiots, Tom, felt Daemon's left hand on his shoulder and right hand in John. Aemond and Jace would take care of the other two.

Daemon put a hand on each of their heads quickly and made them bump their heads together. Jace punched Takumi in the nose and Aemond knocked Joffrey away. Obviously the Targaryens won, they were trained from an early age in self-defence.

-Why are you looking at me like you're starting something? -Jace said through his teeth, furious as he saw the Japanese American kneeling on the floor with a hand on his bloody nose and looking out of the corner of his eye at Jace.

-You shouldn't have messed with my goddaughter - Daemon says and then kicks Tom's mouth and then John's.

-Because if you mess with Yn, you're messing with her family  -Aemond finishes Daemon's sentence after choking Joffrey until he passes out

-You may think we're crazy, but I'm only going to warn you once, don't mess with my family, don't even look towards Yn because if you do that... We're going to end the lives of the four of you and you won't even know what's going to happen to you.

Jace speaks loudly so that the three who are aware can hear well and attentively, Jace has a dark look on his face, a look that no one has seen until now. Aemond and Daemon called the two Great Danes, Vhagar and Caraxes, who bit a leg and an arm from each of the four. Then they won't be able to play for a long time and they'll have a scar to remember that when you mess with Yn Targaryen, you mess with her family.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Portrait of a Dangerous Man🎨1

Warnings: (series) non-consent sex and rape; slow creep; cucking; (this chapter) nothing as yet.

This is dark!mob!Clark Kent x reader and explicit. 18+ only.  Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Synopsis: Your dream of having your work hung in an art show comes true but your first buyer is not all he seems to be.

Note: Yay, mob Clark. And I know what you’re saying right now, enough with Clark Kent! I get it haha. Promise, for a while, this will be the last I do of him. I have Lee fic in the work right now, the early development of medieval Peter, and I’m still sitting on some Loki ft. an exchange student... and then all my other series of course!

Thanks to everyone for reading and thanks in advance for all your feedback. :)

I really hope you enjoy. 💋

<3 As usual, I’d appreciate if you let me know what you think with a like or reblog or reply or an ask! Love ya!

You stood against the wall, chewing your lip as you looked around the gallery. You should be ecstatic, you should be floating around on a cloud, but all you could feel was crushing anxiety. It was truly a dream come true; your art hanging on the wall. Only three pieces, but it was there, and your name was below it in print.

You tugged on the waist of your dress and teetered in your heels. It was a borrowed outfit, you couldn’t afford anything appropriate to the upscale venue. The classic starving artist, or almost. You slipped your phone from your purse and up your sleeve. You subtly checked the time and for the little chat icon in the corner. Still no message.

Marcus was almost an hour late. He texted just after the event opened to warn you he was caught up with work but you worried he wouldn’t show up at all. It wasn’t his fault his boss was a jackass but you weren’t prepared to face this alone. You dropped your phone back into your slender purse and snapped it shut.

Vanessa, the gallery owner, made you flinch as she appeared almost out of the air. You smiled at her shyly and stopped chewing your lip.

“You should mingle,” she said, “you have an interested buyer. You might have a few more if you come out from the corner.”

“I’m sorry, I’m so nervous,” you confessed, “I-- thank you so much for this opportunity.”

“You earned it,” she touched your arm daintily, “all those hard hours working the back room, I couldn’t not hang a few pieces.”

You fixed your posture and tried to seem as confident as her. Your income came solely from hours of at-home data entry as you volunteered at the gallery in your few hours between. It was all worth it and maybe if you sold something tonight, Vanessa would feature you work again and you wouldn’t need to spend the bulk of your days staring at tiny font.

“So, where’s this buyer?” you asked hopefully.

“That’s my girl,” Vanessa trilled, “he seems very interested.”

She led you across the room, stopping to greet other artists and old friends with a kiss on the cheek and deep laughter. You’d met them all before as you were often working at these events. It was your first time as one of them.

When at last you neared your little stretch of the wall, a man stood with his head slightly back as he stared at your proto-renaissance portraits. He was tall and his broad shoulders strained the rich fabric of his jacket. His dark hair was neatly parted and a slight curl marked the front above the shadow of scruff poking out along his jawline.

“Mr. Kent,” Vanessa chimed, “I found her.”

He turned to look at you and his deep blue eyes struck you. He smiled between you and the gallery owner, his chiseled jaw even more defined by the gesture.

“This is Mr. Kent,” she introduced you in turn, “I believe he was interested in the larger piece.”

“All three, if you don’t have another buyer lined up,” he intoned, “I think they belong together.”

“All of them?” you raised your brows, “well, I, yeah, I guess--”

“We can put something together for you,” Vanessa interrupted your awkward stuttering, “let me just mark them.”

She took the silver pen she kept on a chain around her wrist and scribbled in the corner of the tags to mark them as sold. You were slightly numb at your disbelief. You were a bit reluctant to part with your work but the check would ease your grief.

“The way you use colours,” he said as he faced the paintings again, “I’ve recently had some work done in my house and I hate the sight of naked walls.”

“Thank you,” you said as you stepped a little closer and looked at your delicate strokes.

“Pardon me,” Vanessa rushed away as she beckoned to one of her assistants and prattled orders.

“Vanessa tells me you’re a new artist,” he said.

“New in a sense,” you said, “I guess, I’m officially an artist now.”

“Oh? I’m flattered. Your first buyer?”

“Besides some online fanart, yeah,” you replied, “so, Mr. Kent, what do you do?”

“Clark,” he corrected, “and a little bit of everything.”

An awkward silence took over and was thankfully interrupted by your name. You turned as Marcus rushed over and his shoes slipped on the polished floor. He reached you and kissed your cheek as he caught his breath.

“I’m so sorry, I got caught in traffic on the way over and then my oil light started flashing,” he gasped out.

“Hey, you’re here,” you rubbed his shoulder and straightened his tie without thinking as it hung at an angle.

“So, you sell anything yet?” he asked.

“Yes, actually, um, Mr-- Clark,” you gestured to the man standing patiently to the side, “he just bought all three.”

“Damn,” Marcus said, “guess I can hold onto my savings.”

“Marc,” you nudged his arm with your knuckles, “you know we can’t afford your cheesiness.”

“Sorry, uh,” Marcus laughed at himself, “I’m Marcus.”

He held out his hand and Clark shook it. His eyes strayed to you as his features sharpened just a little.

“You two…?” he ventured.

“Five years,” Marcus announced, “guess we’re going steady.”

“Oh,” Clark nodded placidly, “are you an artist too?”

“God no, I can hardly write my own name legibly,” Marcus kidded, “I’m a developer.”

“Computers,” Clark mused.

“Yeah, computers,” Marcus scoffed, “and you?”

“Own a couple businesses,” Clark shrugged.

“Must be successful if you can hang around here,” Marcus said and you elbowed him in embarrassment.

“I guess,” Clark smoothed his dark purple jacket and checked his watch, “I’ll let you two be. Maybe I’ll find something to go with these fine pieces.”

“Thank you,” you said sweetly, “I’m happy to see my work go to a good home.”

“I hope to see more in future,” he returned kindly.

He turned and carried on to the statue constructed of can tabs and greeted another suited man. You looked at Marcus as he leaned in to read the tags beneath your paintings. He stood and looked at you with wide eyes.

“Holy shit, ten grand?” he hissed.

“Pretty good pay for one night,” you chirped, “glad you could make it.”

“Sorry again, I… I had to redo some code. Adam was in a mood so,” he shook his head and sighed, “let’s not talk about it. Let’s celebrate.” He peeked over at the server with a tray of stemmed flutes, “and you can decide what you’re going to buy me with that check.”

“Hush,” you chided as you took a glass of champagne, “now is not the time to go over bills.”

🎨

At the end of the night, you watched one of the assistants take down your canvas and you helped wrap them in paper and twine. As you finished a loopy knot, you were surprised by the figure beside you. You looked up and set the smallest piece atop the larger ones. Clark smiled as you moved to let him pick them up.

“All yours,” you said, almost mournful to see them go.

“Thanks,” he said as he tucked them easily under his thick arm, “I forgot earlier but do you have a card? Are you open for commissions?”

“You must have a lot of walls,” you looked down and opened your purse, “I have a card and I could try a commission.”

You slid out one of the cards that had lingered in your wallet for more than a year. You handed it to him and he read the flowery font before tucking it away in his jacket.

“I do… have a lot of walls,” he said with a smirk, “I’ll give you a call once these are hung.”

“O-okay,” you kept from wringing your hands and closed your purse, “thank you… again.”

“My pleasure,” assured, “have a good night.”

“Yeah, good night,” you said and watched him go.

You let out a breath and smiled to yourself. You would talk to Vanessa and get your cut of the check before you went. Then you could worry about getting Marcus home. He’d had a little too much champagne and you’d left him in the backroom so you could help with the clean-up.

Vanessa bid goodbye to one of her featured artists as you neared. She turned to you and threw up her hands in delight.

“Wonderful, darling,” she said, “you earned that wall.”

“Thanks,” you grinned bashfully.

“Really. That man has never bought a piece before,” she smirked, “I’ve been dying to get into his wallet for years.”

“I never saw him before…”

“Oh, well, yes, he has not been to many of these either. I often see him at other galleries,” she explained, “I hope you have some more for the next.”

“Um, yeah, I should be able to--”

“I’ll have the check for you tomorrow,” she patted your shoulder as her eye was caught by another, “go get your boyfriend out of my studio.”

You accepted your dismissal and turned on your heel. That was just Vanessa, steely but slightly flighty as well. Besides, you were exhausted and you would likely be dragging Marcus into a cab.

You found him slumped at the paint-splattered table. You shook him awake and smiled dopily as he opened his eyes.

“Babe,” he pushed his arm around you.

“Marcus,” you drawled in disappointment, “let’s get out of here.”

“Huh?” He looked around and hiccupped, “oh, I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. You had a long day,” you assured him as you rubbed his back and let him lean on you as he stood, “I’m just happy you showed up after all that nonsense.”

“Of course, babe,” he slurred and you helped him through the door.

You kept your head down as you slowly sneaked out past Vanessa but you didn’t miss her side-eye. It was best to be as covert as possible. You came out through the door and nearly dropped Marcus.

“Jesus, can I get a little help?” you snipped as you looked around for a yellow cab.

“Sorry, baby, sorry,” he got his feet flat but it hardly helped take his weight off of you.

You raised your hand to hail a cab and he slipped down your arm. Your ankle bent as you turned to try to catch him before you dropped him entirely. He was saved from hitting the ground as he was caught by another. You looked over his head as he was pushed up to his feet again. 

Clark kept his arm behind Marcus as you stared at him, “oh my god, thank you.”

“No problem,” he said as he steadied your boyfriend, “you okay?”

“Yeah,” you lied as you lifted your foot and kept the weight off your ankle, “I just need to get a taxi.” You raised your hand again as you tried to see past the large man, “if you don’t mind getting him in--”

“You can ride with me,” he said brusquely as he turned with Marcus and peered back at you, “this way.”

“We can’t--”

“On that ankle,” he said as you began to limp after him, “you won’t get him out on your own.”

“Really, I’m fine--”

“I don’t mind,” he said coolly as he came to a silver sports car and balanced Marcus against him as he opened the door, “I’ll need an address.”

“Uh, oh,” you folded your hands, “thank you. Really, you’ve done too much.”

“It happens. I’ve had these nights,” he put Marcus across the seat and folded his legs up and shut the door, “you can take the front and tell me where I’m going.”

You hesitated and he opened the front door. You neared and hissed as you stumbled on your ankle. You caught yourself on his arm and quickly retracted your hand as you apologized. 

“It’s alright,” he said as you sat in the front seat. He knelt and gently took your ankle. His thumb rubbed the swollen joint, “you really banged yourself up.”

“I’ll be okay,” you assured him, “thanks.”

He let go and stood. He waited for you to turn your legs into the car and gently closed the door. He rounded to the other side and got in as he fished around for his keys. He turned the engine and gripped the wheel with one hand as he took out his phone. He placed it on the magnetic holder and his fingers flicked over the screen.

“Address?” he asked.

You recited it and winced as Siri responded, ‘calculating route’. You shrunk against the luxury leather and glanced at him. He let out a huff and steered into the mostly empty street.

“I’m sorry about all this--”

“No, don’t be,” he glanced in the rearview, “he must be happy for you.”

“Yeah, uh, I think he is,” you said as he followed the map directions, “I am too. I mean, it will go along way… uh, well, you know, things can be tough or--” you shrugged, “I mean, it’s not about the money.”

“Yeah, but it’s nice to be paid,” he said lightly, “and I don’t mind paying for good art.”

You looked out the window as your cheeks burned. You could smell his cologne, subtle but strong. You played with your purse as your nerves brewed in your chest. You watched the sidewalks and the street lights as your surroundings grew more familiar.

He pulled up to your building. It wasn’t the greatest area and the brick façade was faded and cracked. Before you could get out, he was at your door. He offered his hand and helped you out as you leaned on the car. He let you go and opened the back and lifted Marcus out. He hooked your boyfriend’s arm over his shoulder and offered his other arm.

“Come on,” he said.

“Look, you don’t-- there’s an elevator.”

“I’d feel better if I got you inside,” he insisted, “especially in this area.”

You relented and took his arm and limped beside him up the steps. You took out your keys and went ahead of him as he dragged Marcus in. You went to the elevator and hit the button. The doors glided open and you stepped inside. He stood close in the small metal box and Marcus murmured dumbly at his side.

The doors dinged and he let you out first. He followed you down the hall and you unlocked your apartment and waved him inside. He carried Marcus to the couch at your direction and you leaned against the armchair as you bent your leg to check your ankle.

“You should put some ice on that,” Clark said as he neared, “get some sleep yourself.”

“Yeah, I will,” you assured, “thank you, again.”

You felt embarrassed as you eyed his expensive suit and looked around your tiny apartment. It must have been laughable to him. He hardly seem bothered as he retreated to the door.

“I’ll let you then,” he said, “and thank you. I really do like your work.”

The door shut in his stead and you heard his footsteps down the long hall until the door at the end swung open. You glanced at Marcus and shook your head. You weren’t as happy to have had him at the show then.

[butwhyduh]

Fit to be Tied

Jason Todd x reader

Warning: Christmas? And the f word.

Christmas series 2

Jason didn’t pay much attention to holidays. Nope. That was for the living. He didn’t have much of need for it. But he did know that Christmas was quiet and New Years was busy for patrol. He guessed everyone ate Christmas dinner and and then got bored of playing nice. Or maybe that just wanted to start the new year with a big ass bang. Who knows?

Even when he was a kid, he didn’t celebrate the holidays. Too poor, mom too lost in drugs, and dad? Well fuck him. He was a piece of shit when he was around.

Jason kicked a beer can out of his way into the pile of trash on the sidewalk. They didn’t get the trash again this week it looked like. Daddy Bruce could play bat but couldn’t throw his money around enough to keep trash from piling on the street.

It was fine. He had more important things to do anyways. He had to buy a Christmas present. He didn’t care for the holidays but the sweet girl he had at home was a doll and fuck, if she didn’t deserve something. So Jason went down to the local pawn shop. Usually not a problem but it was 2 AM. Not exactly prime business hours.

So yes, Red Hood was breaking into a pawn shop to get a bracelet. He was leaving cash, $20 over the cost too. It was something you had seen earlier in the week and had admired. Gems of some kind shaped to look like a butterfly. You’d taken a minute longer to stare at it.

He left as quick as he came. And it wasn’t long until he was opening the window of your apartment dressed in street clothes. You were asleep. Jason had used the excuse of patrol to get out. But in the early morning hours of Christmas, he wanted to wake you.

“Princess,” he said gently. You moved a little before opening your eyes. You smiled up at him. Fuck, he didn’t deserve the way you looked at him. Your eyes looked so innocent and sweet. You never looked at him like he scared you.

“Jaybird, what’s going on?”

“I got you something for Christmas and it’s technically Christmas..” he said pulling out the box. You sat up, curious.

“It’s Christmas Eve. You got me something? I didn’t think we were- I didn’t get anything. I couldn’t-“ you said turning red. Money was too tight to consider it. The fact that the heat was still on this late in the month was a Christmas miracle.

“No no. It’s fine. Just being here is enough for me. I’ve never really celebrated Christmas anyways,” Jason said pushing the box in your hand. You held the box before kissing him.

You opened the box to see the bracelet you had been looking at the pawn shop. You smiled and stared at the pretty little butterfly. Jason watched you carefully for a reaction. He’d never admit it but he was more nervous now than fighting on the street.

“You saw me looking at it. I didn’t think you’d notice,” you murmured softly as you picked it up. Jason took it and wrapped it around your wrist. He clasped it on and you looked at it, moving your wrist in the light.

“Thank you. It’s beautiful,” you said quietly looking at it. You had a little grin on your face. Jason smiled. That’s the look he wanted. That little bit of happiness that you showed when you were really pleased. He intertwined his fingers in yours.

“Princess, you’re so cold,” Jason said with a frown. He could feel it colder outside but now that he was getting used to the temperature, it wasn’t warm as it should be.

“The heater was acting up again so I turned it down. The blankets are plenty warm,” you said and his heart all but broke. There was no way he was going to let you be cold all winter because the landlord wouldn’t fix things. He might pay this guy a visit. You sensed his anger.

“It’s okay, Jay. Come lay with me and get warm,” you said taking his hands. He let you pull him into bed. He kicked off his pants and shoes and laid on his side. You curled into him as a little spoon. His long big frame all but engulfed you. It always felt to protective. If he was holding you, he knew you were safe. Jason ran his fingers along your bracelet soft as his rough fingers could.

“You’re so good to me,” you said softly and his heart clenched again. Fuck, if you knew all the bad he did. His messed up past. He thought you would have run away when you first learned he was Red Hood but no, you had been kind.

“Naw, Princess you deserve more then this shitty place,” he said, and for the first time, he felt a little bad about giving all of his trust fund to the soup kitchen he would visit as a kid. A little would have been nice to get a better place for you. But he had been making a ton crushing the drug trade at the time and didn’t have a girl back home when he did it. He couldn’t be as reckless now.

You turned in his arms to look in his blue eyes. He has such an intense look on his face that you frowned. “Jaybird, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” he said pulling his face back to normal. “Just thinking. I wanna move you to a better place, a safer place than this,” he said running his thumb across your cheeks. You grasped his wrist and leaned into his touch. Jason would sometimes get like that. Thinking you deserved better. And you humored him even though you wouldn’t even know what to do with wealth.

“We’re moving. Soon. I’m promising now,” he said thinking about the painful conversation he was going to have with Bruce. His adoptive father he hadn’t even told you about. Bruce would do just about anything Jason asked. Probably the guilt of letting him die.

“But Jay, we’d miss the water that went from boiling to freezing at random. And I’m not sure if I can sleep without Mr and Mrs Jancowski having sex every Tuesday at 2 AM,” you said with a smile. He kissed you to shut you up. You were joking but each one felt like a little knife in his guilt. You pulled him over you and the thought of money troubles faded from your mind.

———————————————

Jason woke before you and watched you sleep. You laid on his chest with your hand in his hair and your soft breath on his throat. The bracelet was still on your wrist. You looked so peaceful, trusted him while you slept. Jason carefully grabbed his phone and texted Alfred. He’d also have to tell you about his adoptive family. His very famous adoptive family.

He threaded his fingers in your hand that was flung across his waist. You began to stir. Jason moved hair from your face and you blinked to see his pale blue eyes watching you.

“Morning, Princess,” he said with a rough morning voice. You smiled.

“Morning, Jaybird.”

“I’ve got something to tell you,” he started. “I want you to meet my family tonight.”

“Tonight? Your family? I thought your parents...” you trailed off.

“I was adopted. I never told you because I don’t have the best relationship with them. But I think it’s time for you to meet them. I’ve got to tell you something else,” he said and you could hear his heart beat quicker as you laid on him.

“My adoptive father is Bruce Wayne.”

Silence.

“You’re shitting me.”

“Nope. And tonight I’m taking you to meet him. And my adoptive siblings.”

“You aren’t joking,” you said sitting up. Jason sat up too.

“I’m not. I’m kinda the... black sheep of the family. He adopted me when I was 12. I was trying to boost the wheels from the b- Bentley he was driving,” Jason corrected. It was one thing to tell you he was Red Hood. He couldn’t say Bruce Wayne was Batman.

“Wow. I- wow. Okay. That’s a lot to take in. Also on brand to be honest,” you said and he smiled and shrugged.

“Wait. What the fuck do you wear to the freaking Wayne manor for Christmas Eve?” You said a little panicky.

“Whatever you want. It’s just family,” he said with a sideways smile.

“Oh no. I can’t go to freaking Wayne Manor in a Kmart sweater,” you said quickly.

“You can wear,” he said hopping out of bed. He dug way in the back of his closet for a pretty red sweater that was slightly oversized. “This. Should fit fine. Pretty expensive too.”

“Where the hell did you get that?”

“I’ve had it for year and it definitely doesn’t fit now,” Jason said with a laugh. “Try it on.”

—————————————

The weather sucked. Freaking sleet that threatened everything it touched. You were grateful it wasn’t a night of Jason patrolling. This meant taking your car instead of Jason’s motorcycle. Your car was at least 15 years old and you called it Frankenstein because of all the repairs done over the years.

The radio skipped as Jason drove over a speed bump by Wayne Manor and you burst out laughing. Jason looked at you from the side.

“It’s not that funny,” he said. “What’s up?”

“My car is trash, I’m wearing your old sweater, and we’re late. If you weren’t the black sheep before, bringing me home, you will be now,” you said. He grabbed your hand and parked in front of a random house.

“I’ve been the black sheep since I was a kid and you aren’t going to change any thing for the worse. Trust me. In fact they’ll probably think you’re too good for me,” Jason said with a dry chuckle. “So don’t worry about anything. Except making room for pudding. I know it sounds weird,” he said starting to drive again. “But it’s the best part of Christmas.”

Wayne Manor was huge. You knew that. You’d even seen it on tv. But to see it in front of you was honestly terrifying, especially in the nasty weather. You almost hoped Jason was playing some weird elaborate joke and was going to drive on by but he knew the passcode to the gate. He drove in the covered drop off spot by the front door and parked. You both quickly ran in the building.

The front entry was breathtaking. A gigantic Christmas tree and a full staircase decked out in garland like a Hallmark movie. It was like a magazine. In fact, it was in the Christmas episode of Gotham Life the year before.

You gripped Jason’s hand tightly as you walked down the hall. Your shoes sounded unnaturally loud and you had the urge to quiet them like it was a library. Jason pulled you to the doorway of a dinning room full of people settling to eat. Jadon cleared his throat.

“Master Jason! You made it,” Alfred said excitedly. “I recieved your message but it’s been many years. Sit. Sit.”

“Glad you could come,” Jason’s brother Dick said with a grin. He looked at you in curious excitement. You looked down at some kind of mushroom soup placed in front of you. Everyone else was dressed so nicely and ate so perfectly. It was intimidating.

“Yeah, it’s Christmas,” Jason said shrugging. He gave Dick a look that said don’t ask. It didn’t take much for Dick to drop it because he seemed incredibly distracted. You spent most of the meal trying to keep up on conversations you clearly didn’t understand while trying food you’ve never seen before. You could barely remember everyone you were introduced to. One of Jason’s sister(s?) gave you a big hug along with everyone else when she arrived. You couldn’t tell anyone what was even said after the meal. Or so you thought.

Until right across from you, Dick proposes to his girlfriend. He stuttered around before finally asking. “Will you marry me? Oh god, I have a ring,” he said producing one. Everyone watched as she stared in the box.

“Will I marry you?” She asked faintly and you worried she’d say no. How terrible would it be??

“Please say something,” he pleaded and you could tell the man was practically in pain before she said yes. They kissed, the family applauded, and champagne was served.

Jason watched you from the corner of his eyes. How did you react to this? What did you think? You didn’t look jealous or anything. It made Jason think of marriage. He hadn’t before. He’d thought about moving into something more permanent but marriage. He’d never thought about marriage as his future, ever. Of course when you die at 16 and come back with a vengeance, love is low on the priority list.

“Jaybird, you there,” you asked slightly tapping his shoulder. He blinked and looked at you.

“Yeah, I’m here. Just in my head,” he said and you nodded. He’d do that sometimes.

“The party is moving to the parlor,” you said quietly in a proper rich Gothamite voice and Jason huffed before covering his smiling mouth with a nose rub. The rest of the group was moving ahead of you. Dick and his new fiancé were retiring for the night.

“I’m never going to hear the end of it, am I?”

“I’m so sorry, dearest. I can’t understand you with a silver spoon in your mouth,” you laughed. Jason rolled his eyes before guiding your shoulders towards the door. You heard a soft laugh behind you and you turned to see Tim’s girlfriend smiling.

“Sorry to interrupt but I’ve got to use that on Tim,” she said grabbing her coat and walking out.

After making sure you were cool with hanging with Tim’s girlfriend and their adoptive sister Cass, Jason and Tim started a very competitive game of pool. You couldn’t help but look at things that cost more than you’ve ever even seen. The chess set Damian and his girlfriend were playing with probably cost more than your car.

But it was Christmas and you tried to push your insecurities aside. It was a fun evening. A glass of wine you kept sipping on helped as well.

After a while Bruce announced that the roads were too bad and that no one was leaving. Jason clenched his jaw for a second before looking at you and relaxing. He didn’t want to stay but he wasn’t risking your health in any way. Instead he focused on the game.

“So if I win,” Jason said a full hour later. By this time, Damian’s girlfriend had fallen asleep on his shoulder. Your eyes felt a little heavy as well. “I get the penthouse.”

“Sure Jay. That’s Bruce’s. But I’m willing to gamble it,” Tim said throwing his hands up at the ridiculousness.

“I accept terms,” Bruce said. Both boys looked at him surprised. “Whoever wins gets the penthouse.”

You turned quickly to watch the game. Okay, is that a normal thing for them? To bet property. The look on everyone’s face said that no it wasn’t normal.

Jason was excellent at pool. It was a common for you both to go down to the pool hall and play some games. Jason would occasionally make some money playing and he did often as a kid. It was also a way to waste time when your mom was throwing beers back like a fish, like Jason’s mother did. Tim didn’t stand a chance. He wasn’t as good and looked almost like he was in pain occasionally. But maybe it wasn’t a real competition? Maybe Bruce was trying to give Jason something he’d always want to but didn’t know how. Jason easily won the game.

“So the penthouse is mine?” Jason asked. Bruce nodded and shrugged. Tim softly coughed in his hand. Your heart raced. They couldn’t be serious.

“If you’ll live in it,” Bruce said. Damian was carefully carrying his girlfriend upstairs.

“Deal,” Jason says quickly.

“Deal,” Bruce said looking quiet pleased. Was this his plan all along?

“I guess, deal?” Tim said confused. “Though you should owe me. You’re the one that got me shot.”

Your brain broke. He was shot? And it was Jason’s fault?

“What?! You got him shot?” Tim’s girlfriend asked loudly. Tim blanched.

“Not my fault.”

“Literally your fault,” Tim countered.

“What did you do?” You asked looking at him suspiciously. He offered you a sheepish smile.

“I might have said ‘what are you gonna do, shoot us?’ I meant me. Not Tim! He also has a bulletproof suit,” Jason said. Tim must be a vigilante too. You glared at Jason.

“That’s not in the report,” Bruce said with his eyes narrowing.

“Good night everybody. Merry Christmas,” Jason said pulling you from the room and up to his childhood room.

“You’re in so much trouble,” you said and he grinned.

“I’ll deal with it tomorrow. How do you feel about a penthouse? Better than our current place hu?” Jason said pulling you close. You felt dizzy at the idea.

“Seriously? We can’t afford it,” you said trying to stay grounded. It was too good to be true. Things like that didn’t happen to people like you.

“I think I know a guy who can keep the lights on,” he joked and you gave him a serious look. “Don’t worry about it. Just enjoy the idea of constant hot water. Lights never going off,” Jason said pushing you towards the bed. “No one can hear me make you scream.”

“Tempting. Very tempting,” you said and of fucking course it was. A safe beautiful clean penthouse over your trashy scary apartment wasn’t even a contest. Jason pushed you on the bed and hovered over you.

“What are you doing,” you asked flushed but still encouraging him. It was still his dad’s house and he was getting handsy.

“Trying to have sex with my girlfriend on my old bed like every guy ever has dreamed of,” Jason said. He nipped at your throat. You gasped.

“Got to be quiet, Princess,” he whispered and you pulled him down to kiss more.

————————————

The next morning you woke to an empty bed. You fixed your hair as best you could and threw on Jason’s sweatshirt before going downstairs. You caught a glimpse of the kitchen as Bruce slowly slid a set of keys Jason’s way before taking a long drink from his coffee. “I’m glad you made home for Christmas this year, Jason.” The penthouse.

“Morning,” Bruce said to you nodding before leaving the room. Jason was alone in the kitchen but you could hear others in the breakfast nook a door over.

“Keys,” Jason said showing you. “And no lecture.”

You gave him a hug and looked at the shiny metal keys. It would be a while before you could handle the idea of a freaking penthouse being yours. “But you should get something for Tim. You did get him shot.”

“Let him shoot me?”

“Jason, no.”

[waitimcomingtoo]

Sexy

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Synopsis: Tom has a problem when you get asked a sexist question

Masterlist

“For Robert, how has it felt for you as an actor to see what’s branched from that first Iron Man movie?”

You sat back in your chair and looked around the panel as Robert answered his question. He had been to a hundred of these panels throughout his career, but you were still getting used to them. An impressed smile tugged at your lips as he got the audience laughing with an otherwise well worded answer.

“For Tom, how has joining the MCU helped you to grow as an actor?” Tom was asked by the same journalist. He was seated next to you and sat up slightly when his name was called. He gave an answer that showed his appreciation for the opportunity to act along side these actors as well as what it meant to him to be a role model for kids who didn’t fit in. You squeezed his hand under the table, proud of him for answering the question like a professional. Finally, the journalist looked at you.

“And for Y/n, you’re new to the marvel universe and had to join a cast full of very established, attractive men. Did you have any intimate relationships with any of your male cast mates?”

The silence the settled in the room was painful. Robert let out a loud scoff and shook his head in disapproval while the rest of the cast looked at you knowingly. Tom Hiddleston shot you an apologetic smile as Chris Evans laughed to himself. You leaned forward to get closer to the microphone and looked at the journalist.

“I’m sorry?”

Chris laughed harder, gripping his left side the way he did as the audience let out an awkward laugh.

“Well, being around actors like Chris Evans and Chris Hemsworth all day, surely you must’ve gone after one of them.” The journalist continued. Chris burrows his face in his hands, unable to stop laughing at how stupid the question was. You saw Toms jaw tighten beside you as he gave you a pointed look. You put your hand in his knee to let him know it was okay and he gave you a stiff nod.

“I know I’m not actually Iron Man but do you want me to blast her ass?” Robert leaned over to whisper in your ear. You laughed at his offer and gave him an appreciative smile.

“I got this.” You assured him before looked back at the journalist.

“I really want to thank you for asking me that. I feel like I’ve been waiting forever for someone to ask such an important question such as that one.” You sighed dramatically. “And you’re absolutely right. It was super hard to be around these actors everyday since they’re all just so sexy. How could I possibly pick, you know?” You laughed like it was obvious. The journalist opened her mouth to speak but you continued.

“Since I am so notorious for being an alluring, devious slut, I do make it a point to sleep with every single person, cast and crew, that I work with.” You said seriously and the cast laughed. “It’s easy when everyone’s on set and I can just pick and chose who to sleep with next, but it can get pretty difficult to track down all the editors and executives so I can sleep with them too. Of course, I always start with the main stars of the film and gradually work my way down the list. I even sleep with all the interviewers so hopefully I’ll be seeing you later in my hotel room.” You winked after her. “It’s really nice to be appreciated for my hard work so I again have to thank you for asking that question.”

You gave her a polite smile and she immediately sat down. A new kind of silence settled in the room as your answer hung in the air. No one said a word as you sat back in your chair and shrugged smugly. Tom looked down at his lap with a proud smile as he reached for your hand under the table.

“Can we take a moment to appreciate that answer?” Sebastian said into his microphone to break the silence. Anthony started a slow clap and Chris quickly joined. Robert grabbed your shoulders and shook you proudly as the room broke into applause. Your smiled shyly as the cast loudly whooped and cheered for you. You weren’t exactly quiet around them, but you certainly never said things like that. You preferred to sit back and watch them interact with a deep appreciation just to be a part of the cast. Shutting down the journalists sexist question officially solidified your place in the friend group.

“That’s a great answer. That’s how it’s done.” Chris Pratt said into his microphone as he looked at you. You waited for the applause to die down before speaking.

“Thank you.” You laughed. “To answer your question, yes I did have intimate relationships with my male cast mates. My female ones too, actually. Over the course of filming these movies, we’ve laughed together, eaten together, traveled together, celebrated birthdays together, even cried together. I consider all of those to be intimate things.”

You looked at your cast fondly as they looked back at you. A chorus of “I love you”‘s rang from the cast as the ones closest to you patted your back. Tom grabbed your face and planted a big kiss on your cheek, too proud to care about the cameras.

“I think that’s a great place to end the panel. Thank you to everyone who came. Let’s hear it one last time for the Marvel Cast.” The host of the panel spoke into his microphone. The audience applauded and you all began to get up from your seats. Tom let you walk in front of him, keeping his hand on the small of your back the whole way out.

~

“I have to give Harrison something but I’ll be right back.” Tom told you once you got backstage.

“Okay. I’ll be here.” You assured him. He leaned in to kiss you but you held up a hand.

“Tom!” You whispered as you looked around. “There are cameras everywhere. You can’t kiss me in public.”

“But you did so well out there.” He pouted. “I should be able to kiss my girlfriend no matter who’s around.”

“I know. But we agreed to keep our relationship a secret.” You quietly reminded him. He stared at you for a moment before huffing out a breath.

“Right. Fine. I’ll be right back.” He mumbled before leaving to find Harrison.

You sighed as you watched him leave, knowing it upset him to hide your relationship. You didn’t have a minute to think about what to do as people began to pile out of the panel, all commemorating you for your answer. Scarlett found you backstage and enveloped you in a hug.

“Hey, good job back there kid.” She said as she rubbed your back. “You handled that question like a pro.”

“Is it always like that? They get the cool questions and we get that?” You laughed it off, but you hoped she’d say no.

“Unfortunately, it is.” She nodded. “I’ve had to sit through interview after interview where they ask Chris how it feels to be a hero and they ask me how I fit into my body suit. I’m sorry you have to deal with it too.”

“It’s whatever. I mean, it’s not, but you know. Nothing we can do.” You shrugged. She gave you a look that told you she knew exactly what you were trying to say.

“I know. And between you and me, I’m a little offender she only asked if you slept with the male cast mates. What about me?” She scoffed, making you laugh heartily.

“She probably mistook you as a tree and didn’t see you.” You shrugged, recalling Scarletts infamous tweet.

“You’re so right. I’ll see you around, slut.” She squeezed your arm lovingly and walked away right as Tom came back.

“Did Scarlett just call you a slut?” He asked in confusion

“Yes. But I liked it.” You replied, only confusing Tom further. “Let’s go home.”

~

“Do you want Chinese for dinner?” You asked Tom once you were back at the hotel. His typically gentle features were hardened as he scrolled through his phone from the couch, not even looking up at you when you asked the question.

“Sure.” He mumbled.

“Or should we just order room service?” You asked as you glanced over the menu provided by the hotel.

“Okay.” He said, still not looking up. You eyed him curiously, knowing he wasn’t paying attention to anything you were saying.

“What I really want to eat is some danimals crush cups right out of Dylan Sprouse’s hands. Let me go see if he has some.” You tested him to see if he really wasn’t listening.

“Sounds good.” Tom grumbled. You walked over to him and pushed his phone down from his face with your finger.

“What’s up with you? You’re not listening to me.” You asked him. He finally looked up at you and sighed heavily.

“I’m sorry. I’m just a little distracted.” He set his phone down and pulled you into his lap, pressing a chaste kiss to your temple.

“What’s wrong?” You wondered as your soothingly brushed your fingers through his hair. Tom impatiently tapped his fingers on your leg as he thought about what to say. You could tell something was seriously bothering him from how flushed his face. His body was tense beneath you, slowly loosening up with your touch.

“I just can’t believe that reporter disrespected you like that.” He grumbled, keeping his eyes down. You furrowed your eyebrows at his statement, having forgotten about the situation yourself.

“That’s what’s been bothering you?” You laughed slightly. “I handled it, Tommy. The journalist is gonna be dealing with backlash from that question for years.”

Tom shrugged and rested his chin on your shoulder with a pout.

“It’s just not fair.” He stated. “You shouldn’t have to deal with these sexy questions-“

“Sexist questions.” You cut him off with a chuckle to correct him.

“You shouldn’t have to deal with these sexist questions all the time.” He repeated with a huff. He buried his face in the crook of your neck, reminding you of a timid child. You leaned your head on top of his and wrapped your arms around his shoulders.

“That’s just how it is, baby.” You shrugged, not sure what else to tell him. You wished it was different too, but it just wasn’t.

“It shouldn’t be.” He mumbled against your neck. You rubbed his back to let him know you understood.

“I know it shouldn’t be. But all we can do is educate the people who ask those questions and give them sassy responses. And you know how much I love being sassy.” You pulled away so you could smile at him. He stared at you for a moment before giving you a half smile back. You thought you had assuaged the situation until his pout returned.

“She didn’t even mention me.” He recalled. “You’re my girlfriend and she thought you slept with everyone but me.”

“In her defense, no one knows I’m your girlfriend.” You reminded him, unknowingly making him feel worse. His face faltered and he kept he slumped back on the couch.

“Do you think people would stop asking you things like that if they knew?” He wondered out loud after a beat of silence.

“Maybe. Or maybe I’d get asked even worse questions.” You laughed sadly. “There’s no way to tell.”

Tom seemed unsatisfied with your answer and let out a sigh. He sat up from his seat position and wrapped his arms firmly around your waist.

“It’s getting really hard for me to sit back me listen to people disrespect the women of this cast. Or the women of Hollywood in general. Especially you.” He stated. “I’m your boyfriend. I should be defending you.”

“I understand, baby. But I can defend myself.” You reminded him with a soft smile. “Don’t worry about me, Tommy. I can handle a few sexists.”

Tom reluctantly nodded and leaned back in the couch, pulling you with him so you were resting on his chest.

“It still bothers me.” He mumbled before kissing the top of your head.

“I know.” You tilted your chin up to look at him. “It bothers me too.”

“I should’ve said something.” He cursed himself as he shook his head in disdain. “I shouldn’t have just sat there.”

“It’s alright.” You assured him, pressing a kiss to his jaw.

“It’s not.” He said definitively. “And it won’t happen again.

The conversation you had resonated with Tom and sat in the back of his mind for the rest of the press tour. The incident at the panel did bring some good, which Tom was happy about, as journalists often sided with you when it was brought up. Since Tom was often put with you for interviews, he was able to closely monitor the questions you were being asked. You managed to get through the rest of the press tour without another sexist question, and Tom assumed you had actually ignited some change.

Until the final day.

“Tom, how would you like to see Peter Parker mature and grow in future MCU films?” Tom was asked during your last interview of the day. It was a simple question that he had gotten before, so he answered it simply. You smiled at him as he spoke, proud of all he had done so far and excited for what he’d do in the future. He finished his answer and the journalist smiled at him.

“I’d love to see that too.” He nodded at Tom. “So, Y/n, your suit is obviously very form fitting. I’m sure you’ve seen the comments so I have to ask, can you wear underwear under the suit?”

You blinked in surprise for a moment as you processed the question. You could hear Tom suck in a sharp breath, practically feeling the heat radiating off of him as anger pulsated through him.

It had happened again.

He was asked an intelligent question about his character and you were asked about your body.

“I’m sorry?” You raised an eyebrow, trying to give the journalist a chance to redeem himself.

“I’m asking since there are plenty of shots from behind but never any panty lines.” The journalist smirked at you in a way that made you deeply uncomfortable. “Fans wanted to know if you were wearing underwear under your suit or not.”

“That’s funny, I’ve never had a fan ask me that. Only you guys.” You kept a tight smile as you tried to keep the situation under control. You shot a look at Tom, who was giving the journalist a lethal stare. He was gripping the sides of his chair so tightly that his knuckles were white. You quickly reached over and took his hand in yours, not caring about the cameras and just wanting to comfort him.

“Well we-“

“She doesn’t want to answer that.” Tom abruptly cut you off as he shot daggers at the journalist. The journalist snickered and rolled his eyes a little as he looked at his list of questions

“All right, moving on.” He said, slightly bitter. “Tom, which Avenger, other than Tony, would you like Peter to train from?”

Tom looked at you, as if asking for your permission to continue. He was ready to walk out of the interview but only on your call. You gave him a reassuring smile that encouraged him to continue.

“I would say Captain America because I think he understands how it feels to be the little guy. Peter and Steve were both picked on before they got their powers, although Peter was still picked on after he got his powers. But neither Captain America or Spider-Man have guns or fire blasters, just fists and strength, so I think they would get along well.” Tom answered, looking at you the whole time instead of the interviewer. You squeezed his hand and gave him a gentle nod.

“That’s a good answer. Well done.” He commemorated Tom. “And Y/n, like we mentioned before, one of the most noticeable things about your character is her skintight suit. How did you train to fit into that?”

You and Tom exchanged knowing looks before you answered.

“Again with the suit.” You laughed awkwardly. “Are you trying to fit into one or something?”

“I just want to know how you fit into the suit.” He shrugged. “Trust me, I’ve studied pictures of you in it pretty closely. It looks like a second skin.”

“Well, they measured me, so it was gonna fit regardless. Because, you know, they made it my size.” You answered like it was obvious, because it was. Your straight cut answer didn’t satisfy the prying needs of the journalist.

“So no extra squats to make it look as good as possible?” He winked at you and Toms grip on your hand tightened.

“I didn’t exactly go into this film hoping my ass looked good, if that’s what you’re asking.” You said flatly. “I was more looking to be a powerful role model for girls to look up to.”

“But your ass looking good would just be a plus, right?” He laughed and looked at you as if you were supposed to laugh too.

“Um, no.” You squinted your eyes and tilted your head.

“I’m about to end this mans whole career.” Tom said under his breath. From the look on his face, you could tell he had bitten his tongue long enough.

The boy was about to burst.

“What was that, Tom?” The journalist asked, not having heard him.

“Stop being sexy!” Tom demanded. You looked right at the camera with the surprised pikachu face as the journalist laughed in confusion.

“What?” He asked.

“He means sexist.” You informed him.

“What is wrong with you? Is that question seriously on your sheet?” Tom asked angrily, letting go of your hand to point at the paper the journalist was holding.

“Tom, it’s okay.” You put your hand on his shoulder to relax him, but he was seeing red.

“No, I want to see it. I want to know if you’re dumb or just the company you work for.” Tom snatched the little blue sheet from the journalist and read it over. “Look at that, it’s just you.”

He held up the sheet and the questions you had been asked were in on it. You looked at the sheet and made another face at the camera.

“I’m not the first person to think she looks hot in her suit.” The journalist defended with his smirk still present, only angering Tom further.

“But you’re the first person to piss me off enough to the point where I’m about to walk out of this interview.” Tom snapped back and your jaw dropped. You looked at the camera and pointed at Tom before giving a thumbs up. You were almost enjoying it too much to interrupt, but you didn’t want him to get too interrupted.

“Tommy, relax.” You said as you soothingly rubbed his arm. “It’s okay. I get it all the time.”

“That’s exactly why I’m mad.” He told you. “I know you get this all the time. We get the deep, philosophical questions and the girls get the sexy questions.”

“Sexist questions.” You corrected with a smile.

“The girls get the sexist questions.” He fixed his mistake. “I’m so sick of listening to people disrespect my girlfriend all day long. The girls aren’t here for you to drool over during action sequences. Girls strong and smart and tough and deserved to be asked about more than what underwear they’re wearing. Let’s go.”

Tom got out of his seat, took your hand, and walked out of the room. He lead you all the way to your dressing room in silence and didn’t let go of your hand until the door was closed. You folded your arms and looked at him as he looked at the ground sheepishly. His anger was gone now and he just looked apologetic.

“I’m sorry, I know you said you could handle it but-“

You cut him off by throwing your arms around him and kissing him. He stumbled back a little but regained his footing and kissed you back.

“Don’t apologize.” You smiled and rubbed your nose against his once you pulled away. “I loved what you said.”

“I know you can take care of yourself.” He told you. “But I’m gonna take care of you too.”

You smiled in appreciation before kissing him again.

“That’s okay with me.”

~

Later that night, you found Tom on the hotel couch again and sat on his lap. He wrapped an arm around your waist to keep you in place as you wrapped an arm around his neck.

“Check out this article I just read.” You smiled innocently at him. “‘Tom Holland goes on feminist rant to defend girlfriend, Y/n L/n. Click here to watch.’ Sounds pretty interesting.” You said sarcastically and Tom grimaced. In the midst of his argument with the reporter, he let it slip that you were his girlfriend.

“Oh.” He pursed his lips. “I messed up pretty bad, huh?”

You laughed slightly and kissed his forehead.

“I don’t think my boyfriend defending women like it’s his day job is messing up. I think it’s pretty sweet.” You shrugged and brushed his hair out of his face.

“But I exposed our relationship.” He pouted apologetically. You took his chin between your fingers and kissed his pouted lips.

“A small price to pay for salvation.” You quoted Thanos, making Tom laugh. “Thanks for sticking up for me.”

“It doesn’t even matter. You’re still gonna get asked sexy questions.” He grumbled as he toyed with your fingers.

“Sexist questions.” You corrected yet again.

“You’re still gonna get asked sexist questions. One feminist rant want solve that.” He mocked the article and let out a sigh.

“Maybe not, but at least I know I have a whole defense team to back me up next time I get asked a sexy question.” You teased him and kissed his nose. “I love you, Tommy.”

“I love you more, baby doll.” He smiled sleepily and pulled you into a real kiss.

“Now that I think about it, what do you wear under your suit?” He wondered once he pulled away. You pretended to be shocked and gasped.

“Hey!” You playfully slapped his arm. “Stop being sexy.”

Tag List 🏷

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[ptergwen]

from one kid to another

w/c: 6.0k

warnings: mentions of drinking, lots of swearing, implied smut, and angst at times

summary: it was a mistake, a beautiful one that you didn’t make on your own

a/n: this genuinely is my favorite thing i’ve ever written :,) i say that a lot but this time i mean it, it’s really special i think and i so so so hope y’all do too <3 enjoy my loves

-

there’s only one thing in life that testing positive for is actually positive.

depending on the situation, obviously. yours isn’t ideal, or planned or a blessing or whatever people say. it’s a gigantic mistake that you didn’t realize you made until a minute ago.

you’d noticed something was wrong when your time of the month came and all you experienced was the symptoms. cramps, cravings, everything except your actual period. as everyone is pretty much taught to do, you ran to the closest drug store for a pregnancy test. what the hell else could it be? you messed around a few weeks ago, so there’s a possibility.

your heart felt like it was going to explode out of your chest the whole time you waited for the results. you’d thought of calling tom over for support, but there are a couple of reasons why you couldn’t do that. you realized you made the right decision when your timer for the test went off.

two red lines. you’re pregnant. you’re pregnant, and your best fucking friend is the father.

where do you go from here?

the test falls from your hand and hits the floor with a mocking clank. you slide down until your back is against the bathtub. well, you’re fucked. what an ironic word choice.

the fact that you aren’t ready in the slightest to be a parent when you’re still growing up yourself is one thing. it’s another that this could ruin the most important relationship you’ve ever had.

no, tom won’t be mad. he’s never once fought with or even raised his voice at you. in your times of need, he’s been the one to uplift you and kiss your puffy cheeks dry. no matter how he takes this, you know it won’t be out on you. he is half responsible.

but, with how you left things the last time you spoke, you’re not sure you’ll be able to get past it.

tom is alarmingly good at hiding how he truly feels. you always tease him that it’s because he’s a gemini. he’ll come back with shut up, i’m an actor and stick his nose in the air to give you the full image. in all seriousness, it does take a toll on how well he can communicate.

you’ve seen it in small ways, like when he brings you along for press days and uses unenthusiastic smiles to cover up his yawns. how he’ll be polite in a conversation with people he’d rather not speak to, then mumble about it once you’re home. he tries to put forward the “appealing” parts of himself even though he’s more than them.

tom’s biggest communication issue is that he’s been in love with you since year nine and hasn’t said a word about it. you’ve yet to figure that one out.

you two became friends while tom was starring in billy elliot. his schedule was so scattered between shows and school, so he struggled to balance both. he often had to stay late for extra help on the lessons. you’d also been there a few times. you worked better in the classroom, and he was grateful he didn’t have to be alone with the teacher.

most kids made fun of tom for his interest in theater, to his face and behind his back. not you. you thought it was just incredible that someone in your own classes worked at the west end. you’d told him on your way home one night.

he’d heard you before he saw you. “you’re tom, right?” you asked from behind him, the two of you making your way through the hall. the question sounded friendly, and it wasn’t every day kids were nice to him. tom stopped walking so you could catch up. “yes, and you are?” you gave him a small smile, books clutched to your chest. he instantly returned it.

“y/n. i heard you’re in billy elliot?” you laughed at your understatement, then corrected yourself. “that you are billy elliot, i mean. that’s so cool.” “oh, i am. thank you,” he chuckled back, a full grin taking over his face. you were both walking again, you by tom’s side. “i was hoping to come see you soon.” your voice got quieter as you told him, like you were nervous.

tom never had much luck with girls, not at this point in his life. this was an opportunity to change that. at the very least, to make a new friend. he offered something you said yes to without a beat of hesitation. “what if i got you the tickets?”

from then on, you began talking during class and not only when it ended. tom really knew how to keep the conversation going, telling story after story that left you laughing so much your teacher would shush you. you’d eventually moved to hangouts at either of your houses. harrison came into the mix at some point, the three of you forming your own group.

the difference between tom and harrison was that while harrison linked with other girls, tom was only interested in you. he’d gotten a crush on you pretty fast, if he was being honest. it might have been your shared sense of humor or the way you said his name.

thomas, when he was being cheeky. tommy, which took the place of a pet name. even regular tom. that might have been his favorite. he loved how it rolled off your tongue. he loved, and still loves, you.

you’d gone to all of tom’s performances you possibly could, the ones for school theater included. you also gave him the push to take his talents to hollywood. tom was afraid he wasn’t cut out for the big screen, that he needed more practice and experience first. you told him that if this was what he wanted to do, he had to start somewhere. why wait?

tom then landed his first movie role in the impossible at the age of fifteen. he’d received tons of praise and almost gotten nominated for an academy award, all because you convinced him to audition. you played a huge part in keeping him grounded when he was between films, and caught him up on whatever schoolwork he’d missed.

you practically zoomed to tom’s house when he was announced as the next spider-man. you’d been constantly refreshing every social media platform marvel was on since tom became a finalist for the part. that process was probably the most difficult experience he’s ever gone through. you’d know, having heard all about it from tom.

the two of you celebrated along with the rest of tom’s family that night. you kept giving him little proud of you squeezes on his shoulder or knee. tom is eternally indebted to you for being the most supportive of everything he does.

he of course sends the support right back. although he went down the movie star path, acting wasn’t for you. you’d gone off to university and studied hard as hell and aced all your shit. tom quizzed you on material whenever you needed. he wanted to help you somehow, and this was all you’d let him do.

he’d offered to pay off your loans and any other expenses necessary because he had the money to do that now. you refused every single time, not trying to become dependent on him. he admired your drive, yet hated it at the same time. everything you’d done for him, it was his turn to be the caretaker. it should’ve been.

whenever tom wrapped filming for the holidays and came back home, you were always preparing for final exams. he kept you company, content with simply being in your presence. you typed away on your keyboard and read over notes until your eyes burned. tom occasionally brought you snacks, tea, asked how you were and what he could do.

sometimes, he would have to cut your study time short. he’d say it wasn’t healthy or you were overdoing it and to come relax with him for a bit. other times, tom let you be. he didn’t want to get in the way of your already stressful assignments. those were the nights you’d fall asleep in front of your laptop. drool on your chin, hunched over at your desk.

tom made sure to tuck you in, press a light kiss to whatever part of your face wasn’t covered in spit, then let himself out. he knew where your spare key was, so he used that. you’d wake up to a “Fell asleep studying again. Rest today x” text the next morning.

when it came time for you to graduate, tom was on the first flight there. it was during another round of reshoots for chaos walking. he respectfully told doug that he’d have to work around his schedule or replace him, which couldn’t be done so late into filming. tom didn’t care that it made him seem like a prick. he was getting to you no matter what he had to do.

he’d earned plenty of stares and whispers from people as he took his seat in the crowd. he was a proper celebrity now, so he expected it. his solution was to ignore everything and chat with your family about how proud they were of you, tom the most. he saw you go from a kid attempting algebra equations to an adult at her uni graduation. you’ve really grown up together.

it was why he teared up hearing them call your name, seeing you beam as you walked across the stage. your mom grabbed his hand and nodded at him, like she could tell exactly what was going through his head.

you ran right up to tom after the ceremony was over, leaping into his arms. he let out a couple of chuckles as he spun you around. “i didn’t think you’d make it,” you’d admitted, happy yet sad tears in your eyes. tom put you down so he could pull you in for a real hug. “i’ll always be wherever you are, y/n,” he said into your ear, rocking you while you gripped at his suit collar.

flash forward to a year later, your career is finally taking off, tom’s is flourishing like it has been for years, and you’re pregnant with his child. you’re trying to recall the series of events that led you to this moment.

you were both drunk, blackout drunk because the only reason you remember sleeping together is that you woke up naked in the same bed. harrison’s bed.

he threw a housewarming party for himself, having recently moved out of tom’s and the other boys’ place. the three of them, sam, and you were all in attendance, along with a lot of others you hadn’t met.

neither you nor tom could figure out where he knew all those people from. he’d clinged to you two for the most part, more so you now with tom usually away. they could have been from work. harrison is breaking into the business himself, small roles here and there. tom actually met him in your school’s theater program, then he introduced him to you, ten years ago already.

sam entertained himself by making concoctions with the snacks harrison set out. harry got together a playlist for the party. harrison and tuwaine struck up a conversation with some of harrison’s actor friends. that left you and tom alone, out of stuff to do, and with one way to fix it.

“drink?” tom had asked you, a smirk playing on his lips. “love one,” you hummed back and set off for the kitchen. the two of you raided harrison’s liquor cabinet, grabbing his biggest bottle of wine. he’d dumbly pointed it out during the house tour he gave you before the other guests arrived.

you were about to search for glasses, but tom’s fingers threaded through yours. he gently tugged you away and nodded behind him. “let’s bring this upstairs. seems much more fun there,” he’d murmured over the music, a grin breaking across your face.

tom is big on clubbing and socializing, however, you aren’t. he comes up with ways to get you out of these events, just in case.

“we can break in harrison’s bed for him,” you said as a completely harmless joke, no intentions of that becoming your reality later on. spoiler alert: it did. “and how are we gonna do that?” tom quirked a suggestive eyebrow and breathed out a laugh as you dragged him towards the stairs. despite yourself, you’d giggled at his words.

not one drink in either of you yet, and you were stumbling and cracking up as you ran upstairs. you’d pulled tom by your still attached hands into what you remembered as harrison’s room. tom shut the door, locked it, saying under his breath that would be a “convenient investment” for him to make as well.

he took out a bottle opener that he must have put in his pocket at some point and got to work on your wine, you getting comfortable on the new mattress. the two of you passed it to the other after every sip, tom licking the taste of your lip gloss off his own lips every so often.

the equivalent of three drinks in, you were making out. both of you were just tipsy at this point, tom holding you by your hips as you lied down, your legs around his waist. god, he could’ve done this sober. he’d dreamed about kissing you, really kissing you since he was fourteen. you’d always felt like you two had something more. ah, there it was.

halfway through the bottle got you past the next two bases, and you were ready for the fourth and ultimate one by the time you shook the last few drops onto the tip of your tongue. tom groaned at the sight of that, drawing your half naked body in closer to his.

you two had forgotten to use protection in each of your drunken states. without a doubt, you both would’ve agreed to a condom had your minds not been everywhere but where they should have.

you’d woken up first the morning after, panic immediately coursing through your veins thicker than blood. a fully nude and sleeping tom had you in his embrace, arms secured around your middle, facing you. you gasped when you made the connection, loudly enough to wake tom up. his long eyelashes tickled your face, a confused pout on his lips. uh... um...

“did we fucking...” you trailed off, no words to describe whatever unfolded. “fuck?” tom finished for you. a very blunt explanation, but true nevertheless. “looks like it,” he rasped, pout changing into a smile. your face fell at the vague memories of how you spent your night.

you definitely wanted to do it. just, he’s your best friend, who’s seen you at your least sexy moments over the years. when you were sick, had breakdowns from stress, you name literally anything, tom was there. it took one bottle of cheap wine for him to forget that?

the real answer was no. tom is entirely in love with you, for a decade at that. you were beginning to discover you feel the same, only you had no idea he already loves you. you’d assumed this was meant to be merely a hookup. from the frown your face held, he’d thought you were regretting it. oh, were you both so wrong.

“um... we don’t have to talk about it,” tom told you halfheartedly, under the impression that’s what you preferred. you physically felt yourself get weaker in tom’s strong arms. he’s not interested. “yeah, that’s probably for the best. i...” you were lying. his heart shrunk, shriveled up inside his chest. she doesn’t love me like that.

“you have to go. aren’t you behind on some emails?” tom hoped you didn’t hear his voice strain from the tears pushing at his eyes. “right. almost forgot, thanks.” you’d plastered on a smile, slipping out of his grasp. a tear rolled down his cheek, so he wiped it away before you noticed. you’d already gotten out of the bed and begun picking your clothes up off the floor.

“i’ll drive you home, then.” he rolled on to his other side, you thought so he could give you privacy to change. it was that, and also because he was crying. he couldn’t hold it in. tom is naturally an emotional person. imagine finding out the love you’ve had almost half your life is unreciprocated. it’s soul crushing.

you two found harrison snoring and on top of tuwaine as you left the house. no silly remarks or shared glances for the first time in ten years. tom couldn’t muster anything up, and you felt numb.

the drive was painful. you’d said your goodbyes after tom pulled up to the curb, which held an odd weight to them. once you were out of the car, a sob wracked through him, banging on the steering wheel and not giving a shit about the loud horn going off. you collapsed face first onto your bed. hours passed by while you stared at nothing and contemplated everything.

since it happened, you haven’t spoken much. small talk over text every few days or so, both of you pretending things are normal for the other’s sake. about a month later, today, is when you found out you’re pregnant.

there’s no use wallowing in any of this. you need to figure out your next move, one that should probably involve tom. first, you want to talk to someone else. you want other opinions and a voice in your head that isn’t your own. harrison gets a text from you saying to come over now, the now in all caps. he does.

you let him in after the second knock, his eyebrows furrowing in concern. however torn you are, you must look it. shirt balled in your fists, lip quivering. he keeps his eyes on yours as he steps inside, pushing the door shut behind him. this is all becoming too real. “y/n, are you okay?”

you’re about to cry in three, two...

“haz, i fucked up,” you choke out, tears unable to stay at bay. he takes you into his arms for a hug. half your face is hidden in his shoulder, hands clutching at his back. he lets you cry it out, holding you until your heavy breathing steadies. “what’s happened?” harrison asks quietly, both of you leaving the hug.

“if- if i tell you, you can’t freak out. you can’t tell anyone else, either,” you instruct, searching his eyes for certainty that he won’t under any circumstances. “i won’t, y/n/n,” he assures you and puts an encouraging hand on your arm. your heart pounding abnormally fast, you spit it out. your first time saying it aloud. “i’m pregnant.”

harrison flinches and doesn’t even try to conceal it. he takes his hand off of you, worry swimming across his features. he blinks at you, unsure of what to say. you’d react the same way, maybe worse, so you don’t blame him. a discussion you, him, and tom had a couple years back replays in his mind.

the three of you were talking about your futures, seeing as you were close to living them. when tom asked you two where you stood on having your own families, you didn’t hesitate to answer. “nope, the factory is closed for a long ass time.” until you were in your thirties, you aimed to focus on yourself. harrison distinctly remembered because of how you phrased it.

“you’re... you... wow,” is all he replies with. you head over to the couch, more tears welling up in your eyes. do the pregnancy hormones act up this early? harrison follows you over and sits down next to you with an awkward clearing of his throat. “do you want to be pregnant?” he has to ask because he’s not sure if he should congratulate you or what.

“i don’t know,” you answer honestly, voice airy. your eyes are fixed on the wall in front of you. you haven’t given yourself time to think about it. there are so many reasons you don’t, and a single one you do. “do you, um, know who the dad is?” harrison glances over at you. “yeah.” your voice cracks. you’re both afraid for him to ask what he does next.

he shifts so he’s sitting up. “can i know?” a sniffle passing through you, you finally look at him. “it’s tom,” you say it before you lose the nerve to. harrison’s face doesn’t change this time. he isn’t surprised you and tom went there. he’d seen your friendship growing into more the older you all got. what he can’t believe is where it took you.

his best friend pregnant, and his other best friend responsible for it.

“when did you...” “at your party,” you explain, bringing your legs up so they’re criss cross on the couch. “i thought you were gone a little too long.” he says that to try cheering you up. you appreciate the effort, but it doesn’t work. you’re not in a joking mood. he’ll stick to the main issue. “so, have you told him?”

“clearly not,” you scoff, not at him but at what you two have gotten yourselves into. “y/n... i think you should tell him,” harrison sighs out, then adds, “whether you keep it or not.” “why? that would ruin everything, it already has.” you’re getting angry now, which plunges you into angry crying, voice unsteady as you go on.

“the last time i saw tom was that night, and i guess it meant more to me than it did to him because we haven’t talked about it at all. he didn’t want to.” you swipe the back of your hand across your eyes, gaze stern compared to harrison’s soft one.

he drapes an arm around your shoulders, you curling into him with another sniffle. he doesn’t say anything for a minute, then he tries again. “i know you, y/n, and i know tom. you’ll kill yourselves not talking about this.” he’s right, no shit he is. avoiding telling tom how you feel, and your pregnancy on top of that, it’s eating you up inside. it’s swallowing you whole.

“what if he doesn’t want to be a dad? or- or i’m a shit mum?” you croak out, your doubts getting the best of you. “i can barely take care of myself. what am i supposed to do with a baby?” you’re leaning forward with your hands pressing into your temples. harrison’s hand moves to your upper back. “i- i don’t think i should have them. i... we can’t,” you conclude.

“tom loves kids,” he gives you a gentle reminder. “why would his own be the exception?” another good point, yet you still have rebuttles. “right, he’s a godfather and he’s really good with them and all that, but i’m not the right person, and it’s a terrible time,” you tell him all at once, in a rush to get your words out before harrison’s sway you.

“he’s never around, i’m doing my own stuff. we’re not meant for this.” you lift your head out of your hands and sit back on the couch. harrison returns his hands to his lap. he’s frowning at you, which you see from the corner of your eye. “i’m not going to force you to have the baby. just saying you have options.”

yeah, really shitty ones.

“either way, talk to tom.” harrison says this more like a demand so you’ll take his advice into actual consideration. “at least about the hookup.” your teeth sink into your lower lip, eyes watering for the nth time already.

you have no choice because he’s right again. you’ll never move on from what happened unless you and tom address it.

the next morning, you do what harrison told you to and invite tom over. he replied saying he was on his way maybe a minute later. he’s nervous to see you because yeah, but more so looking forward since it’s been so long. you’re so nauseous you barely have room for nerves. it’s morning sickness with a hint anxiety.

it feels almost normal when he first gets here, no how’ve you been and what are you up to these days? being as close as you and tom are, you’re not capable of such a dry conversation. personally, you still feel uneasy while he recounts a golfing incident him and harry got into the other day. you know something he doesn’t.

“when i tell you we flew, we flew,” tom makes a pushing forward motion with both hands. “right into the tree. i think harry, like, dented part of his face.” he lets out a breathy laugh, you forcing out one of your own. you’d be more interested without the fact that you’re expecting a child, his child, at the back of your mind.

tom exhales, shifting to face you on your couch. it’s funny how different things were when you and harrison sat in these same spots yesterday. so much has and is about to change.

“they had to send another golf cart to come get us. it was wild.” “it sounds wild,” you hollowly agree. he can tell you’re not too invested in hearing about harry’s terrible driving skills, so he changes the subject. “anyway, harrison told me he came over last night?” your stomach drops, heat coming over your whole body.

“did... did he say why?” you murmur with a look of urgency in your eyes. tom shrugs a shoulder, and casually. there’s no way he knows. “no, was he supposed to?” his tone stays playful, which you can thankfully tell. that puts you more at ease. “no. no, never mind. i would’ve asked you to come, but...” you’re searching through your catalog of excuses.

thank god tom says something else because you can’t find a good one. “it’s alright. i actually, um, had a work call.” a small smile spreads across his face, a proud one. intrigued, you raise both eyebrows. “what’d you talk about?” tom twiddles with his fingers in his lap. “i’ve been offered an audition for this really amazing film. everything works out, it’ll be huge for me.”

you’re smiling back this time, putting a hand over one of his. “woah, that’s incredible. i’m so happy for you, tom.” you lock your fingers with his from the back of his hand. he looks down at them, humbly shaking his head. “when is it?” “a few weeks from today. it films in brazil...”

oh. you can’t tell him now. it’s not worth him missing out on a milestone in his career for a baby you’re not sure you should have. that would be so unfair of you to ask. what are you going to do, not support his dreams for the first time in a literal decade? and, you’d call yourself his best friend through it all?

you guess this also means the way you feel about tom is one sided. he’s okay with leaving you after the most intimate moment you two have ever shared. you’ll dance around it the rest of your lives. better yet, act like the night never even happened. that’s not so easy to do when you’ve got a permanent reminder of it.

the thought makes you sick to your stomach. so sick, you could...

while tom is talking more about what the audition entails, you suddenly bolt up from the couch. you run for the bathroom, a hand cupped over your mouth. his face twists up in confusion from your disappearance. tom calls, “y/n/n?” out to you, but you can’t respond because your head is in the toilet. he rushes in when he hears you retching.

he gets onto the floor with you. you’re bent over, puking your guts out, back in another place where your life changed forever less than twenty four hours ago. tom pulls your hair out of your face and into a makeshift ponytail with one hand, his other on your back. that’s all you have in you. you stay over the toilet just to be sure.

saliva drips from your mouth, making you cough roughly, the sound echoing. tom moves so he’s next to you, keeping his hand in your hair and not caring one bit about the smell because he loves you and he’s utterly concerned about what he witnessed.

“love, are you sick?” he coos, searching for your eyes. they water from the intensity of everything. “morning sickness,” you answer without thinking first. shit. shit, shit, shit. it came out of you like more vomit, word vomit. there’s no going back now.

tom lets go of your hair with his eyes still on yours. his hand on your back then leaves you, fingers trailing down your body as they go. “morning sickness,” he repeats, putting it together. “you’re pregnant?” guilt taking over your features, you sit across from tom. you’re once again leaning against the bathtub, him against the counter.

“this isn’t how i wanted you to find out,” you admit and bring your knees up to your chest. “i took a test yesterday. it was positive.” your arms wrap around your legs, you now tearing up because tom figured it out. a shaky breath passes his lips. “i haven’t gone to my doctor or anything yet, but i-“

“are you keeping the baby?” tom cuts in. not to judge you for your choice, to find out what the fuck is going on before he travels across the world. you tighten your arms around yourself, grabbing your wrist. “i haven’t decided.” he gives you an understanding nod and reaches out for you. you dodge him. he might not want to do that after what you say next.

“tom, i... there’s more,” you whimper out. “yeah. i’m... i’m listening,” tom croaks, unable to hold in his infinite amount of emotions for a multitude of reasons. he’s losing you a second time. more tears spill from your eyes as you break the news, the news that will destroy what he’s been working towards his entire life.

“the baby is yours.” his face relaxes, looking almost relieved when you confess it. “when we slept together, uh,” you’re sure it’s obvious enough that you don’t have to go over the details. he’s tearing up himself. you reluctantly continue. “if you still want to audition, i get it. we don’t have to do this.”

“fuck the audition. fuck the whole movie. all of my movies, really,” tom surprises you by blurting out. he moves in until your legs are touching. “i’m staying. even if you don’t have the baby, i have to be here.” you watch in disbelief as he wipes away what are actually happy tears. “really? i was scared you’d resent me for it, or hate me even,” you mumble to him.

“y/n, what? why would i ever do that?” tom places a hand on your cheek, touch gentle and filled with love. you part your legs so he can be closer to you. he takes the space between them, thumb brushing over your skin. “i didn’t think you’d want to deal with all of this. i thought that night was only a hookup for you.” your voice wobbles under his gaze.

“no, are you kidding? i thought that’s what you thought.” he’s smiling now, eyes twinkling along with it. what he’s been meaning to tell you since you were only kids finally comes out. “i’ve loved you as long as i’ve known you, y/n. i always imagined myself doing this with you.” his words draw a quiet laugh from you, a happy one. “i know we were drunk, but i meant it all.”

the sincerity in his voice, the warmth in his eyes, they make you cry all over again. you’re getting used to it.

“i love you, tom,” you lean into him with a sniffle and a grin, his forehead now resting on yours, using his thumb to catch one of your tears. “i really do.” “i love you forever. i always have,” tom speaks lowly, breath fanning across your face. your hands grab at his shoulders. “so, you’ll stay? you’ll do this with me?” he reminds you of what he said before, this time a promise.

“forever.”

-

you ended up having the baby, and tom held your hand through the entire labor. nikki was holding his other hand, your mom holding your other hand. harrison had originally been in the room as well. when you started to push, he got freaked out and had to leave. your support system remained strong either way.

despite his repulsion of your daughter’s birth, you and tom decided to make harrison her godfather. he eventually became the godfather of your other two children also, which you had a few years later.

tom took a paternity leave from the industry so he could be with you and jamie. he’d also used his time off to propose to you, something else he fantasized about since year eleven in school. it wasn’t anything too grand because the whole world was already buzzing about you two, and a big gesture felt too impersonal with everything you’d been through together.

he did it in the form of passing a note, something you often did in class to avoid being scolded by your teacher for talking. the note came with a pencil to check off either the yes or no box, “will you marry me?” written above them. anyone else would have found it so unromantic, but you giggled as you checked off yes before your lips crashed into his smiling ones.

you were married shortly after the proposal, jamie as your flower girl and all your friends and family in attendance.

to do what he loved and stay with the people he loved, tom created his own version of hollywood in london. he took it upon himself to assemble a team and make a production company. harry behind the camera, harrison and tuwaine in the films, and tom either starring alongside them or directing. they give so many young actors tons of opportunities.

you eventually went back to work, too. it was like you’d never left, coworkers offering endless hugs and going over what you missed, not that you struggled getting into it. tom was there to celebrate every promotion, every compliment from your boss, every part of your life. jamie was also there, then liam and lucy.

all three of them are running around the house right now, putting on shoes and collecting their supplies for school. you take a sip of the orange juice liam didn’t finish with a lighthearted eye roll. tom chuckles as he passes you in the kitchen, getting the kids’ lunchboxes for them to minimize the chaos.

“you have that pitch meeting today, right?” he slips his hands through the lunchbox handles and walks over to you. “mhm,” you hum, mouth full with juice. his lips press to your temple, giving your waist a one handed squeeze. “you’ll smash it. always do.” “thanks, tommy.” putting down the cup, you reach up to button whatever parts of his shirt he didn’t have time to.

“aren’t you doing a casting? for the new script they sent?” you wonder aloud and smooth down the cotton material. “me and harry. should be interesting,” he remarks, you giving him a quick kiss back on his chin. they tend to have their artistic differences. “good luck with that. you do drop off, i’ll do pick up?” you pat one of the lunchboxes around his arms.

“deal.” tom goes in for a kiss on your lips, then a chorus of dad, we have to go led by jamie rings through the house. with a knowing smile, you push at his chest. “see you later. love you.” “love you, holland,” he bites back a grin of his own. his last name, now yours, suits you perfectly.

[startanewdream]

Five Stages of Starflower

Summary: James is oblivious, Lily is mostly okay with her unrequited love and Sirius has a few plans about this situation. For @keepingupwithpotters,@sunshine-marauders, @cellularphoneexplosion and @zephyrcove who all gave me the most Jily prompt of all time (“Are you flirting with me?” “You finally noticed?”) and for @magixbeans (“I refuse to stop irritating you until you give me attention.”). Thanks for helping me celebrate this day ❤

Warning only for a few f-words every now and then (Lily curses when she is upset).

Sirius knows it.

Sirius fucking Black knows it.

Lily had been careful ever since last semester when she started to realize the signs of those things. She’d tried to back away, to avoid more contact despite the fact they had exchanged letters through Summer (just normal conversation, talking about what was going on and their families and discussing their friends – it didn’t mean anything), and that they had seen each other (they just happened to be on Diagon Alley on the same day to shopping, which was smarter and safer—and also didn’t mean anything), and Lily had convinced herself that her feelings for him were entirely friendly and would remain so—if only they hadn’t become Heads together.

There was no way her feelings could remain amicable when she was required to stay together with James Potter for hours at a time, alone in the Prefects Room as they worked and planned, their hands brushing against each other sometimes; or when they would run away to share a hot chocolate at the kitchen, enjoying the fact that as Head Boy and Head Girl they could ignore a little more the curfew, and he’d make her laugh and would help her wipe off the chocolate out of the corner of her mouth.

Lily had fancied someone before, and she knew how to identify the signs, as pale as those previous signs seemed when it came to James. Still, she knew what meant the way she would shiver whenever he’d touched her, or how her heart would skip a beat when their eyes met without planning and he would grin deviously at her or how she would sit closer to him than she needed, just to catch a sniff more of that wonderful scent.

She was falling for James Potter and the worst part was that she’d totally missed the timing in which he fancied her back.

Because all those signs she saw in herself were unfortunately absent from him. James had apparently mastered the art of considering her as nothing more than his friend, because when he’d touched the corner of her mouth—and she had blinked to him, she really had, a blink that said we are alone now and you are touching my mouth can you just kiss me?—James had done nothing but smile nicely, friendly, drawing away.

And she absolutely knew he was treating her as just his friend when the very next week he’d asked her if she didn’t mind changing her Friday patrol rounds with Leanne Diggory. Fridays were the day they patrolled together until late in the night. Fridays were the days where they would go to the kitchen and share a drink and talk about life and it was their moment.

‘Sure,' she had said, acting as if she didn’t understand what his request meant for them. ‘Any particular reason?’

James had flushed then, his hand automatically flying to his hair like he did when he was nervous and after a moment he glanced at Leanne across the Prefects Room. Lily had followed the direction of his gaze; Leanne was smiling back at James and Lily understood even more.

‘Well,’ she said then, keeping her voice carefully light even as a crushing weight had taken residence in her chest. ‘It’s a pretty reason.'

She couldn’t fault James for not being interested in her anymore, but she couldn’t also just stop feeling that thing for him, not since there was no way for her to avoid him completely. So she resigned herself to having a platonic crush on James Potter, one that she administered very well until the day of the first Quidditch game of the season.

Lily had been so diligent that none of her friends had noticed her feelings for him—and she knew that because there was no way Mary or Dorcas would keep it silent if they suspected. She had been careful not to gasp when they were on the grounds and James had been dropped at the lake by Sirius, stepping out of the water and taking off his shirt to dry himself (but she had taken that memory to her heart and lost herself in dreams about him); she had not frowned when she saw James leaving his group at the last Hogsmeade trip to go talk with Leanne, flashing that dangerous grin of his to her (but she had punched her pillow in anger lately, wishing James had come to her).

And then there was the first Quidditch match and Gryffindor had won and in the post-game euphoria, Lily had made the tiny mistake of hugging James and keeping that guilty longing smile on her face when they had broken apart.

That’s when her gaze had met Sirius, and he had widened his eyes in surprise, taking in all that her smile meant—by the time Lily had rearranged her face into a normal expression, Sirius was smirking knowingly, that moron.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

He knows. Lily knows he knows. Sirius knows Lily knows he knows.

It could be worse if it were any of other James’ friends, she reasons dismayingly. Remus would have come to talk to her and urge her to share her feelings with James; Peter would spill the word to James, unable to keep a secret from him.

But it doesn’t look like any of these other scenarios is really worse as she sees Sirius’ eyes shining with a predatory look, like a wolf that knows it got his prey.

She considers running away. But Lily is no coward, there is no place for her to go permanently and she believes in keeping her enemies closer, if Sirius could be considered as one, at any chance. That’s why she keeps her ground, pretending everything is nice and not at all bothered when she sees James is near the fireplace talking with Leanne Diggory.

It won’t fool Sirius, but Lily can keep her dignity at least.

And remaining alone at the drinks table allows for him to get closer to her, which is important for her to check how much damage she did today.

‘Enjoying the party, Evans?’

Lily nearly sighs. Nearly one year of friendship with the Marauders told her they only call her by the last name when they are in full teasing mode.

James calls her a lot by Evans, though, but it sounds nice and she rather likes it.

‘Same as always. Nice party.'

‘Oh, I thought you’d be feeling… too crowded.' Sirius throws a glance towards the fireplace and Lily doesn’t need to follow the direction of his gaze to know what he is talking about. ‘Maybe you wish you were at one of those Head meetings.'

Lily pretends to be amused. ‘Heads can enjoy parties too.'

‘One of the Heads is certainly enjoying the party if the party is happening back at the throat of Leanne Diggory—’

She can control her eyes enough to not look in their direction to confirm how literal Sirius is being right now, but she cannot stop the grimace on her face fast enough; it is a spasm of hurt and anger and jealousy, and it becomes obvious that Sirius saw all these emotions when his grin just increases.

Well, too late to still save her dignity.

‘Good for him. Now, if you excuse me—’

‘Oh, I don’t,’ he replies gladly. ‘Why, you seem a little green to me, Evans.'

‘It’s my eyes, maybe you didn’t notice their colour before.'

‘Well, I never particularly cared, but I remember a young bloke reciting that your eyes were pure emerald bestowing grace upon that poor bloke’s heart.'

‘Jade,’ she corrects before she can think better of it. ‘He compared them to jades.'

Sirius’ grin is criminal now. At least, it’s making her want to murder him.

‘My, Evans, for someone that threw a hex at him you seem to have memorized his words.'

‘He kneeled to recite that poem to me in the middle of the Common Room, what else could I do?’

‘Snogged him?’ Sirius suggests, arching one eyebrow when Lily shakes her head. ‘Just imagine, if you had snogged him back then, he might not be snogging someone else right now.'

It’s a fair assumption, but this time Lily doesn’t have to disguise any particular emotion. She doesn’t regret not going out with James before; they were far too different back then. He matured a lot since those days when he would ask her out when he would be so infatuated with her that it was annoying mostly…

Unfortunately, in the list of things he changed since growing up, his feelings for her were included.

That makes her frown.

‘He is free to do whatever he wants,’ she says, a safe mid-term.

‘Or whoever he wants.’

She closes her fists, wanting to punch something; most likely Sirius’ face, though she will settle for her pillow too.

‘Are you here for any reason or you just want to piss me, Black?’

‘Mentioning that James’ hands are all over Diggory’s bum would piss you?’

‘Ah, fuck off, Sirius,’ she says, not bothering anymore to pretend anything.

He laughs—a loud carefree sound that seems like a dog’s bark to warn that something is happening; in this case, that Lily Evans is making a fool of herself.

‘I will leave you alone—if you just admit it.’

‘Admit what?’

'Are we really playing this game, Evans? Let's not go through the five stages of Lily Evans' acceptance of her undying love for James Potter, shall we?'

Lily blinks, fighting not to splurge over her drink.

'I have no idea what you are talking about, Sirius.'

'Have it your way then. I just thought you should know, I was kidding. James' tongue is carefully kept inside his mouth.'

And he indicates the fireplace. Lily looks at it now and, sure enough, though James is still talking to Leanne, he is fairly apart from her, hands untouching, in a friendly stance.

When she looks back, Sirius is not there anymore, but wherever he is she knows he is smirking, that prat. Continue reading on AO3 :)

[zsocca55]

Hello There fellow Hungarian from Poland!

Do you have aby headcanons about Poland or Polish and Hungarian Relations?

Yay, another Pole! :D Much, much love from Hungary to you guys! ❤️❤️❤️ I tried to summarize my thoughts in short sentences but….eh… sorry for the length of this, but there is like, a ton of history to work with, and one idea popped up after another and then I just got lost typing this. I might as well write a whole book about it. XD

These are listed in more or less historical order. Am I doing this right? I’m bad at making headcanons! Also my interpretation of Poland is very different from his Hetalia presentation and my notes are based heavily on how Poland and Polish people are perceived in Hungary. Sorry if that bothers anyone, but I like to stay accurate to History.

Anyway, I hope this list satisfies!

Poland:

-Used to be really childish and carefree but after the partitions he matured rather quickly

-He is quite the attention-seeker, very social and has many friends but only a few real ones and he has trust issues and fear of abandonment - that’s why he can get very clingy

-Has pride like the size of the moon

-Communicates his emotions poorly - which results in him sometimes mistreating people he likes (Lithuania and Ukraine for example) - he is getting better at reading people though

-He is a “lets get shit done” type of person - you give him a job and he will do it impeccably and in time

-He appears like this happy-go-lucky guy, but it’s actually a coping mechanism

-When he feels down, he becomes emotional - and drinks a lot - he is an emotional drunk

-Had a big fat crush on Ukraine (he even has a folk song dedicated to her, Hej Sokoły!)

-Complains a lot - like a really lot

-Poland keeps old gifts he received from his great kings and queens in a safe (nobody knows about it though)

-The partitions caused him to lose consciousness for weeks. It was the shock of losing his identity as a ‘state’. All countries involved believed that he would die.

-Poland lived with Russia between 1795-1918 due to Russia possessing most of his territory. But he often made official visits to Austria and Prussia to negotiate the treatment of his people with them. He also got away on his own a few times (to help out Hungary in 1848-49 for example).

-Poland accompanied Tadeusz Kościuszko to America, but couldn’t stay for long. Youthful America’s enthusiasm inspired him a lot.

-He is a very bad driver, and had so many accidents he doesn’t keep count, but he is a skilled pilot so he often complains about not being allowed to fly around instead of driving around.

Poland and Hungary:

-Poland was also victim of Hungarian tribal attacks before the 10th century so his boss decided to befriend the new southern neighbour in hopes of making an ally. At first Hungary thought Poland was a girl while he thought she was a boy.

-Hungary first met a Polish tribe called “Lendzianie” and so she named his people “lengyel”. Poland never corrected her though.

-They paid visits to each other often during the early decades of the 10th century and played a lot. Once they jumped in a lake for fun’s sake, without clothes, and Poland quickly realized that Hungary is in fact a girl but he hadn’t got the heart to break the news to her because she was so confident in being a boy.

-They got distanced whenever internal crisises rose in their countries. Even up to this day, if one of them has an internal struggle, the other doesn’t pry and keeps a respectful distance. They respect each others boundaries in every way.

-Poland and Hungary were married twice, but all they ever did was giggle about it like the young teens they were and caused a lot of trouble for their kings with their pranks and mischiefs.

-Poland never understood why Hungary’s attention turned towards Austria in the 1400s though. Hungary also never understood why his attention turned towards Lithuania either.

-Poland and Hungary have a very similar residing scar running in three directions across their bodies which are testimony to them being thorn in three. Poland during the partitions and Hungary during the Ottoman-Habsburg invasions when she was also basically three entities in one.

-Poland fought with Hungary against Austria in 1848-49 but was dragged back by Russia when Hungary lost. He learned of her marriage to Austria through a newspaper much later and was severely disappointed in her.

-Poland tried to negotiate with the Allies in order to save Hungary from being chopped up and lose their shared border, but France faced him with a decision: either shut up and get a place on the map or refuse the treaty and have less territory. Poland never ratified the treaty but he still resents not fighting it more.

-Hungary tried to help Poland during his war with the soviets in 1920-22 but because Czechoslovakia refused to grant access to him out of spite, she turned to Romania of all people, pleading him to help. Romania actually helped.

-Hungary was pretty shaken and isolated from everyone after WW1. Only Poland and North Italy reached out to her, searching ways to keep in contact.

-Hungary resents joining the wrong side in WW2, which made her and Poland enemies. She tried to make the best of the situation and help Poland when her troops were stationed on his territory. They met accidentally in a forest while Poland was marching with partisans towards Warsaw in 1944. She helped him out but Prussia found them and Hungary pretended to take Poland hostage in order to release him later during the night. Her men were killed for fraternizing with the enemy.

-During the German occupation in Poland it was forbidden to listen to Polish nationalist songs and so Hungary and her men played “God save Poland” on repeat just because they could and Poland and his people were very thankful for it.

-When the Iron Curtain was drawn, Hungary hid away in her land, depressed, but Poland kept fighting the new rule until the Poznan protests inspired the uprising in Budapest in 1956. Originally Hungary organized a solidarity march for him but it turned into a freedom fight. She was struck down by Russia though, leaving her bleeding out on her streets with a hole in her chest. Poland flew to Budapest and offered his own blood to save her. Hungary remained unconsious for a week until she woke up. He was at her bedside the whole time.

-Poland often jokes about Hungary probably inheriting his “immortality” because of the blood transfusion.

-Hungary hid away again after 56. He tried to help Hungary get over her trauma by visiting her often during the rest of their years in the Soviet Union, but something broke in her and he didn’t really know what to do.

-This put a certain distance between them.

-After the USSR fell, Poland was quick to make new friends and make up with his neighbours but Hungary came out of her shell much slower. She did admire him for his strength to move on. He also encouraged her a lot to get up and improve her country.

-Hungary considers him her only real friend. She doesn’t trust anybody else with her life anymore. Out of gratitude, she decided to declare a special day for Poland (March 23) and when he heard of it, he actually teared up.

-Nowadays they visit each other on their Independence Days and celebrate together. They also go and cheer for each other’s football teams with hundreds of Poles chanting “Ria, ria, Hungaria!” and hundreds of Hungarians chanting “Polska! Polska!” on the streets.

-After hearing the song “Varsó hiába várod” from the band Republic, Poland thought Warsaw is indeed too far from Budapest so he made a plan to build a railroad so they can come and go between each other’s capitals in five hours. The idea is under construction at the moment.

-Poland and Hungary like to think that they are the heart of V4.

-Hungary goes along with whatever mischief or prank Poland makes up. And vica versa.

-They also promote their friendship with so much enthusiasm that Romania often calls them out for being too mushy.

.

Uh, thanks for reading through this! I know this is a lots of text, I get carried away when making up ideas. I’m unable to summarize my thoughts in short sentences. I don’t have the ability.

Also 50% of this is not even headcanon, some of these really happened or are happening.

Anyway, I hope I answered your question! :’)

[gravedangerahead]

That a-spec Sydney Sage post I keep promising

Some notes on why I'm convinced Sydney is on the aro/ace spectrum, specifically demisexual.

Throughout the series Sydney shows no signs of attraction without previous emotional attachment, and plenty of feelings of inadequacy due to not feeling what she's "supposed" to feel. Romance is not on her radar at all and frequently catches her by surprise.

When Sydney first describes Adrian she uses comparisons to classical art, she admires his looks in a more detached way, rather than describing her reaction to him. I believe this was meant to show the hang ups she has about vampires, she then says she can't admire him like she would a human guy, HOWEVER, she never does admire any human guys in a more involved way.

While we have some toxic cultural assumptions about women in general not really having a sexuality, or having a single target sexuality directed at her One True Love, her husband or soulmate, we know that isn't the case here bacause we have a very interesting contrast to Rose, who is sexually assertive and isn't demonized for it. She's clearly capable of feeling attraction right away and to people other than the man she's in love with.

The descriptions of Rose and Lissa's attraction in the first series are more involved and reactive, more similar to Sydney's attraction to Adrian once she has emotionally connected to him, as opposed to Sydney's objective descriptions of people in aesthetic terms in the beginning.

She didn't notice Ian's crush on her until it was pointed out to her even though we later see he's obnoxiously obvious. When a boy tries to ask Sydney out she assumes he's asking for her opinion on silent cinema and gives him a lecture about it, while what's actually happening is very obvious and hilarious to everyone around her. Even as her general social skills improve and she learns to navigate other situations better, she cannot confidently tell if a situation could be romantic. She reacts with panic when the possibility occurs to her and relief if it turns out that isn't the case, like when she thought Trey was asking her out in TGL.

While she's frustrated her job might stop her from actually connecting with friends and even her family, she doesn't seem too bothered about the obstacle to her romantic life before her relationship with Adrian. She doen't consider dating until her friends impose it on her, and she doesn't notice she actually agreed to a date with Brayden until Trey celebrates it.

During her relationship with Brayden she feels zero attraction to him and focuses on what is socially expected of her, not any of her own desires. Brayden is just as socially inept and inexperienced as Sydney, but he's clearly attracted to her and enjoying their kisses, while she finds all their physical contact underwhelming and unconfortable:

"Still, I was very conscious of being so close to someone. I didn’t think I was getting any romantic vibes. My pulse didn’t race; my heart didn’t flutter. Mostly I was aware that this was the closest I’d sat to anyone, maybe in my life. I wasn’t used to sharing my personal space so much. I soon forgot about that as the play started."

"As we sat there, I realized we’d come to another critical dating milestone. What was the correct procedure here? Was he supposed to kiss me? Was I supposed to let him? Had that been the real price of my salad?"

"I was so surprised, I couldn’t even move. My heart raced, but it was more from anxiety than anything else. Was I doing it right?"

"Why didn’t I have the same reaction? Maybe I’d done something wrong after all. Or maybe I was deficient?"

"I felt a little guilt that I had a greater emotional reaction to seeing the coffee than him." TGL, passim.

This is supposed to contrast with her already blooming feelings for Adrian, but other girls in the series (Rose, Lissa, Jill, Angeline) are clearly capable of feeling attraction to people other than their main love interest. Jill is just as inexperienced as Sydney, younger, and has an awkward first kiss with Micah due to concerns about her fangs, but she still found Sydney's description of her reaction to Brayden being like kissing a brother strange.

Sydney worries that she's cold and unfeeling, which indicates this isn't a new development due to falling in love.

The only thing I knew for sure was that this kiss had been a lot like the last one. Nice, but it didn’t blow me away. My heart sank. There was something wrong with me. Everyone was always going on about how socially inept I was. Did it extend to romance as well? Was I so cold that I’d spend my life never feeling anything?

This quote is very relatable in a sad way, a lot of a-spec people feel that they might be broken and that there's something wrong with them. It could also have some toxic implications, if you think it's only meant to be wrong because Sydney does have romantic and sexual feelings towards Adrian, but I don't believe that's the case. I think at that point you're supposed to think Sydney's worry is unfounded because she has shown herself capable of caring about and connecting with a lot of people already.

TGL has a lot of nice moments showing how the gang is becoming a found family and how much they all care for each other, including everyone's reaction to her first date with Brayden. In the opening Sydney is away for just a weekend and she misses all of them, and all of them seem supremely happy to see her when she comes back. Sydney's devotion to her family and friends has been highlighted plenty of times.

By TIS Sydney is clearly experiencing plenty of sexual and romantic attraction to Adrian, despite being in deep denial about it. While Jill is worried about a possible relationship with Marcus, and Kristin and Julia do not understand how she could possibly not be attracted to him, she seems dumbfounded by the idea that she would be.

Then Adrian, the person in the series who's portrayed as the most perceptive about people's feelings and how they work other than Sonya, while using his Magical Spirit Insight to look at her aura, describes Sydney in a way that's basically the definition of demisexual:

"My body doesn't know any better. I'm as susceptible to lust as anybody else." There was probably a book about that or at least an article in Cosmopolitan.

The hint of a smile played over his lips. He was fully in tune with me again. "No you aren't. I mean, you are, but not without reason. I know you well enough to realize that now. You're not the kind of person who's 'susceptible to lust' without emotion to back it." TIS, p. 243

Compare and contrast: "Demisexual is used to refer to someone who doesn't experience sexual attraction unless or until they've developed a close emotional connection with another person, according to sexologist Carol Queen, Ph.D."

That's as close to canon as we could get from an author who I imagine has never heard that definition, and the narrative definitely frames Adrian's take as correct. It's never implied that Adrian fixed Sydney, or that she's a late bloomer, or that there's something wrong with her. That's just the way she is and that's okay.

The most convincing arguments I've seen that Sydney feels attraction to someone other than Adrian are toward Rose and maybe Dimitri. While there's nothing wrong with people simply having different headcanons, I'd like to point out that I don't think that would be incompatible with Sydney being demi, as she already has an emotional attachment to both of them. I think no one in the VA universe has been able to describe Rose and Dimitri's looks in a non fawning way, so they're probably so reality bendingly hot that that's just how you would objectively describe them. But she already considers Rose a friend and likes Dimitri, so she could be demi and be attracted to one or both of them if that's how you interpret it.

Someone on Discord asked some good faith questions about asexuality and demisexuality and why people feel it's important to them, and I might post my answers here if anyone is interested. I'll happily answer any questions anyone might have, but I'll not engage with anyone who tries to invalidate or exclude other people's sexuality. I didn't use the SAM here because I don't think it applies in this particular case.

[avintagekiss24]

Power > Ransom Drysdale. Andy Barber.

|| pairing: ransom drysdale x black!reader x andy barber

|| word count: 4,449

|| warnings: more filth lol, dub con if you look close, smut, sex, oral sex (male & female receiving), anal sex, vaginal sex, threesome, spanking, nipple play, no spoilers for either Defending Jacob or Knives Out

|| note: this is a sequel to my Ransom fic, paper. this things this one man has done to me is just... evil. anyway, this is my first crossover fic! the only thing better than one chris evans, is two chris evans, lol. hope you enjoy! happy sunday!

line divider by whimsicalrogers!

You stare out of the large windows that look over the city, your arms crossed over your chest, your lips set in a hard line as some of the last words that floated between you and Ransom play through your mind. 

“Don’t leave me.”

“Okay.”

You left anyway. You both woke up a few hours later, the post sex high completely sucked out of the room and replaced by all of the hatred and anger that had been brewing for months. He wasn’t surprised. You both got dressed in silence and he didn’t even try to stop you when you walked out of his room, down his steps, and out of his house for the last time. The two of you haven’t spoken since - which, Andy says is for the best - but today is finally the day. Today is the day you finally cut your losses and move the fuck on from Hugh Ransom Drysdale-Thrombey. 

You turn quickly when you hear the door click as it opens but your anxiety instantly eases when your eyes land on a familiar pair of blues. You smile softly as he moves into the room, shutting the door behind him before he sits his briefcase on the large conference table. You lift your arms in anticipation as he steps around the table towards you. He crushes his broad chest to yours as he captures your lips with his own and lifts you right from your feet. 

You wrap your arms around his neck as you let him hold you, kissing him back hard -  harder than you have in a while. He moans into your mouth, you assume noting the difference in your aggression before he pulls away with a soft smack. He sets you back on the ground, much to your chagrin, and chuckles a little when you whine like a little girl. He nuzzles his nose into yours, rubbing his gently against yours as he rests his forehead to yours. 

“You okay?” He asks quietly.

You keep your arms wrapped around his neck, “Now that you’re here, yes.” You answer in a hushed voice. 

Ransom’s words come back to you again - you fucking somebody? You’re fucking somebody. Indeed you are, and were when he asked. Enter one Andy Barber. Boston’s leading divorce attorney and as you’d come to find out, most eligible bachelor. It was purely by luck that the two of you met, one night at an exclusive Boston bar. He was out celebrating a big win for his most recent client and you had just finished moving into your apartment. He slid up next to you, his cologne strong and sweet, his eyes serious, and remarked on how you looked as if you had had a long day. 

You left the bar a few hours later with his business card and a pair of wet panties. 

“We’re gonna take him for everything he’s worth, I promise you that.”

You laugh a little, “He’s not worth shit, it’s his grandpa that funds his lifestyle.”

“Well, that allowance will be yours. That, the house, and that stupid car of his.” He scoffs quickly before he starts rubbing his hands up and down your hips, “Then you sell it all for even more money and move in with me.”

“Oh?” you ask, raising your eyebrows as a playfulness fills your voice, “Is that so, Mr. Barber?”

“Of course. All of this sneaking around is exhausting. It’ll be nice being able to fuck you in my bed instead of on my desk for a change.”

You furrow your eyebrows, “I like fucking you in your office.”

He laughs, pecking the tip of your nose with his lips, “You’ll never want to leave that bed, darling. In fact,” He says, swatting you gently on your ass before he moves away from you and back to the table, “I’ll make sure you don’t.”

You click over to the table and bend over, resting your elbows on the flat surface as you place your chin in your hands. You cock your head, “With handcuffs?” you ask softly, biting the tip of your finger.

He glances up at you as he pulls out your file, “With whatever you want baby girl. Now come, sit. We have some things to go over before he gets here.”

----------

“Mr. Barber?” A voice sounds from the intercom in the center of the table, “Mr. Drysdale and his attorney are here.”

“Thank you, Ruth. You can send them in.”

You sit up straighter in your chair, adjusting your suit jacket before tossing your hair over your shoulders. Andy stands and buttons his jacket before he rubs your back quickly, “Just let me do all of the talking, okay? Tap me on the arm if you want to interject with something, but keep your voice low. Got it?”

You nod, “Okay.”

“Hey,” he kisses you quickly when you look up at him, “Relax.”

“That’s not helping,” you huff as you feel heat rise in your cheeks, clicking your teeth when you hear him chuckle. 

The door opens seconds later and in walks Ruth, Andy’s trusted assistant, followed by Angie Hernendez, Ransom’s attorney and then Ransom himself. You expel a deep breath as you cut your eyes towards him, looking him over as he saunters in, his arrogance on full display. He’s in that stupid, tattered, thousand dollar cable knit sweater and a pair of brown Chino’s. He links eyes with you almost immediately and his lips twitch into that famous shitty smirk you’ve grown so accustomed to.

“Nice of you to dress up for the occasion, Ransom.” You quip, leaning back in your chair and propping your chin in the palm of your hand, extending your fingers over your lips.

He chuckles as he sits across from you. He leans forward, resting his elbows on the table as he braids his fingers together. His blue eyes travel down your face and chest, lingering at your cleavage before he flicks them back towards your face, “You’re looking good, babe. Real good.”

You roll your eyes and scoff before clearing your throat. You glance over at Andy as he sits and opens his folder, completely unfazed. You just need to be like Andy - don’t let this mother fucker get under your skin. 

“Mrs. Hernendez, it’s nice to see you again,” Andy starts, smiling softly, “How are you?”

“I’m doing well, Mr. Barber. It’s nice to be across the table from you again. Shall we?”

“Of course,” Andy says, clearing his throat, “My clients demands are easy. She’s been a dutiful wife to Mr. Drysdale-Thrombey for the past five years while he - “

“She can have whatever she wants.” Ransom says suddenly, cutting Andy off completely. 

A deafening silence falls over the room as all three sets of eyes zero in him. You and Andy’s mouth fall open as Angie snaps her head in his direction. Ransom blinks slowly at you, his eyes roaming around your face again. 

“I’m - I’m sorry?” Andy asks, sitting up in his chair a little.

Ransom cuts his eyes towards the clean cut man, sizing him up before he speaks again, “You heard me, pretty boy. She can have whatever she wants. You were right, she was a dutiful wife, she deserves it.”

Angie lifts her hand quickly, “Mr. Barber, Mrs. Drysdale, may I have a moment with my client, please?”

“No.” Ransom answers simply.

“Mr. Drysdale,” Angie hisses, turning towards him, “You need to be quiet.”

“You work for me, don’t you?” He snaps, squinting his eyes, “Give her what she wants.”

Angie sighs heavily, “Ransom-”

“Hugh.” He corrects sternly.

Your eyes go wide as you blink back at him, completely dumbfounded. You turn your head towards Andy, who has fallen back into his chair, his hand clasped over his mouth. If it weren’t such a serious moment, you’d laugh. You’ve never seen him at a complete loss for words. He leans forward after a few seconds and scratches at his beard as Angie fumes across from him.

“What is it you want, dutiful wife?” Ransom asks as he turns his attention back to you.

“Um,” Andy starts, “I usually have a whole thing, but uh, she wants ten thousand a month in alimony.”

Ransom shrugs, “Done.”

“The apartment in Manhattan, the Range Rover, the condo in Miami, and use of the property in France, dates to be determined and submitted in writing to you and your attorney three months ahead of time, each time.”

“Done.”

Angie scoffs loudly next to him, throwing her pen down onto the table, “Mr. Drysdale, I -”

“Can you leave, please?” Ransom asks, snapping his head towards her, “I want to talk to my wife.”

Angie’s mouth nearly hits the floor, “You’re serious? You want the legal counsel to leave the room?” She asks incredulously. 

He shakes his head, “Not him,” He nods towards Andy, “Just you. Leave.”

She laughs in disbelief. She blinks blankly at you and Andy before she stands, grabbing her briefcase and muttering under her breath. She clicks towards the door, but turns just as she opens the door, “Not that is matters, but I highly discourage this, Mr. Drysdale, as your counsel -”

Ransom lifts his hand and waves her off, “Noted. Thank you.”

The door slams seconds later. You blink and find Ransom’s eyes on you again. It’s a familiar look in his eyes, one you are all too familiar with. They’re intense and hungry, just like they were all those times he would roll over and ravish you in the middle of the night.  You’re not sure why, but that look still sends a signal right to your core. You cross your legs underneath the table, squeezing them together as your breathing deepens.

“It’s him, isn’t it?” He asks you directly, as if Andy isn’t even there.

“What?” you blink

“It’s him,” he gestures towards Andy with his head again, “The guy you’re fucking.”

You gasp as Andy clears his throat and sits up in his chair, “That’s none of your business.” He answers, his voice deep and stern. 

You squeeze your legs together a little tighter.

Ransom rolls his eyes and cocks his head as he stares back at Andy, “Relax buddy, okay? She’s still my wife, I have a right to know whose cock she has in her mouth now.”

“Fuck you!” You shout angrily, “You are such a fucking dirt bag!”

“Oh, I knew that’d get a rise out of you.” He smiles back, his eyes now full of mischief. 

Andy sighs loudly, not having an ounce of patience for Ransom’s bullshit, “What is it exactly that you want, Mr. Drysdale?”

Ransom turns his eyes back to yours, “I don’t want you to leave me.”

You scoff, “Too late for that.”

“I mean it. Don’t leave me.”

“Ransom -”

“You can keep fucking him,” he says seriously, “I don’t give a fuck. Just don’t leave me.”

Your eyes go wide again. You feel Andy’s eyes on the side of your face as you stare back at your husband. You could almost swear that… he’s serious. His eyes are steady, his mouth set in a hard line, his jaw tight. 

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you pretty boy?” He says after a few seconds tick by, “God,” he laughs, “I can see why she fell for you, you smell like money.”

You stand abruptly, “Andy, let’s go.”

Andy stands at your request, closing his folders and tucking them under his arm as he grabs his briefcase. You follow him around the edge of the table as Ransom calls for you, pleading for you to sit back down. Just as you pass by him, he reaches for your arm as he stands, grabbing your wrist and pulling you into him. You struggle against him instantly, anger flashing through you as you try and rip your arm out of his grasp. 

“Goddamn it, Ransom!” You growl.

“Let her go.” You hear Andy say behind you, “Ransom, I mean it.”

Ransom laughs at his tone, twisting you quickly in his hands so now your back is crushed to his front, your eyes on Andy. You feel him tuck his face into the crook of your neck as his hands curl around your waist, squeezing you tight. 

“Tough guy, huh? You must be from the other side of Boston.” He smiles, “Cute.”

You watch as Andy smiles back, his eyes darkening as he tilts his head, “You’re a good read, Ransom. I am from the other side of Boston, you know, the side where smug assholes like you get your fucking ass kicked.”

Ransom cuts his eyes towards you quickly before he returns his attention back to Andy. He starts to sway the two of you back and forth slowly, his hands dropping to your hips to rub them gently, “You know she likes this, right?” He questions, his deep voice vibrating in your ear, “She likes this tough guy shit - this little back and forth of ours. I bet you her pussy is soaked right about now.”

You let out a shaky breath. He knows you like the back of his hand. Your lips part as you link eyes with Andy, your chest rising and falling harder and harder with each breath. Ransom likes it too. You feel his length pushing against your ass as he keeps you tight against his body. You watch as Andy’s eyes move down your body, his face softening as he recognizes the specific tells that you’re turned on. He then snaps his eyes to yours and he knows - you do like this. 

“See?” Ransom says softly, kissing your cheek, “You get it now, pretty boy.” His hand slips down toward the band of your pants, his fingers pushing just underneath it before you grab his wrist.

“Ransom -”

He pushes harder, breaking from your grasp, his greedy fingers seeking your sex. You tense when you feel his warm, thick fingers between your wet lips. He groans as he pushes along your bundle of nerves before pulling his hand free. He rubs his thumb along his middle and index finger for Andy to see, your slick coating them. 

“Told you that pussy is singing right now.” He says, popping his fingers into his mouth, licking them clean, “Mmm. She tastes so good, doesn’t she? Fuck.”

You close your eyes, swallowing hard when you feel him press his lips to your neck softly. You shudder when you feel his teeth start to nip at your skin and his hand cupping your left breast. You relax against him, just like so many times before and let him seduce you, right in the middle of the room - right in front of Andy and the city of Boston below. He pushes his hand back into your pants and pushes his fingers between your folds and starts to massage you slowly, your hips moving slowly with his hand.

“She likes to be watched too,” Ransom whispers, “Did she tell you that, Andy?”

He pops the button to your pants and unzips them, giving himself a little more room to work. He pushes his index and middle finger into you and you grunt loudly, grabbing his hand that is still groping your breast.

“Open your eyes.” You hear suddenly, Andy’s voice thick and low, “Open your eyes, baby. Look at me.”

You flutter your eyes, letting out another shaky breath as you blink at Andy standing in front of you. Ransom bites down into your neck before he sucks gently, his fingers still pumping slowly into your cunt, “So we’re all a bunch of perverts, huh? This is what we could have if you don’t leave me, sweet girl. This could be fun for the three of us.”

You moan loudly as Ransom curls his fingers, stroking your insides gently - sweetly. You bite your lip, watching as Andy approaches you slowly. He steps right up to you, towering over you, just how you like. He grabs your face in his hands and starts rubbing your cheeks softly, his bright eyes bouncing between yours. He leans in and kisses you  - his tongue sweeping along the roof of your mouth before he moans into your wet mouth. 

Ransom starts nibbling again - up your neck and to your ear before he tugs on it. You break from Andy’s lips to groan as you push your hips into Ransom’s hand a little harder. Your heart thumps against your chest as Andy starts to unbutton your shirt, button by button, until the black silk falls open, exposing your thin, see-through bra. Andy skips his fingers up to the material, pulling the cups down to free your flesh. 

Before you know it, he sucks your tit right into his mouth - his tongue swirling around your taut nipple. 

“God,” you breathe, letting your head fall to Ransom’s shoulder as lust and pleasure blooms across your skin and through your body. 

You feel Andy’s hands around your middle, gripping your flesh, holding you steady as he falls to his knees in front of you. He slides his hands into the sides of your pants and pushes them right down your legs, letting them pool at your feet. He pulls at your panties next, slipping them down your thighs and calves until they're around your ankles. He sits back on his legs, watching Ransom’s fingers dip in and out of you. He reaches forward, stroking your thigh with the tips of his fingers before he places a gentle kiss in the crook of your hip. 

Your hips jerk forward at the notion. You feel Andy’s large hands around your waist again, holding you tight as he plants his warm lips to your stomach, right above your soaked sex, then down your thigh to your knee. He grips your ass in his strong hands as he ventures back up to your center. He pushes his nose into you, breathing you in before his tongue sneaks out from behind his lips to lick your clit. You jerk again as he sucks your clit into his mouth, moaning softly as he massages you with his lips and tongue. 

You push your hand into his hair, balling the dark stands in your fingers as his tongue swirls around your flesh. Ransom pushes his fingers into your harder, deeper, faster as he rolls your nipple between his fingers. He pushes your hair over your shoulder and bites the side of your neck again, hard enough to leave an instant bruise - exactly how he knows you like it.

Ransom pulls his fingers from you as Andy stands moments later, both men starting to fumble with their own clothing. You step out of your panties and pants, pushing them off to the side as Andy drops his Armani pants and pulls his cock from his matching boxers. You beckon him towards you as he starts to stroke himself and grab his dick once he’s close enough. You drag your hand up and down his shaft, watching him as the stress starts to drain from him. 

You lunge forward suddenly, gasping as Ransom slams into your cunt from behind. He starts a furious pace right out the gate, bending you forward before he grabs your hips to hold onto you. You keep pumping Andy in your hand, before taking him in your mouth, sucking the tip of his cock as best you can as your body lurches forward with each of Ransom’s deep, hard thrusts. 

You release Andy from your mouth with a pop and wrap your hand around his girth, hand fucking him again. Cum starts to drip from his slit as you work him over, strings starting to hang from his tip that you sweep away with your tongue and mouth as you take him in again, this time deeper, to where you feel him in the back of your throat. 

“Ah,” you hiss, reaching back to dig your fingers into Ransom’s hip as your mouth goes slack around Andy’s cock, “Fuck.”

“God, I love it when you whine for me.” He groans.

His thrusting stops seconds later, and you’re pushed towards the large table in the center of the room. Ransom lays back on the mahogany tabletop as Andy closes in behind you, wrapping his hands around your hips. You climb onto the table with Andy’s help, right over Ransom’s awaiting body and throw your hair over your shoulder as you hover over him. You grab his dick, positioning him at your opening before you sink down onto him, your eyes fluttering as you spread for him. 

He pulls your body down, crushing your chest to his as you feel Andy slip his large hand up your spine. Andy grabs your waist again as he slips his cock between your ass cheeks, seeking your tight hole. He circles at it before he starts to push, hissing as your body expands to take his length. Your mouth drops open as your head falls, the fullness you feel starting to make your head swim. 

Andy starts to move and so do you, sliding along Ransom’s body as he fucks up into you. Your moans grow louder and closer together as they fill you up, fucking both of your holes gloriously. Ransom shoves his fingers into your mouth and you’re glad, needing something to help keep you quiet. You suck on his digits, before nibbling on them, saliva slipping from the side of your mouth and dribbling right back down onto him. 

He grabs the back of your head and leans up to kiss you, sloppy and hard, “Messy girl.” He slurs against your lips before he bucks hard into you, making you squeal.  

Your head is soon pulled back, craning towards the ceiling as Andy tugs on your hair. Ransom’s fingers are back in your mouth as both men push into your pussy and ass, making you quiver. You can feel them everywhere. Andy’s large hands around your hips, his fingers sliding up your spine before gripping your shoulder. Ransom’s fingers hooking your teeth, the other hand squeezing your wrist that’s holding some of your weight against the table. 

A slap is leveled to your behind - you’re not sure by who - but it sends a spark right through your hypersensitive body. Your pussy clenches as you grind your teeth together, your face twisted in pleasure and pain. Another slap comes, quickly followed by another and it’s all just a little too much. Andy fucking your tight ass, Ransom filling your cunt, your clit being massaged by your own thrusting motions - it’s intoxicating. You’re finding that you love being pushed right to the brink of what you can and cannot handle. Not only is it intoxicating - it’s quickly addictive. 

You lean up, separating your chest from Ransom’s, and Andy knows exactly what to do. He reaches for your tits, groping them before he starts to tweak your nipple, just how you like right before you’re about to come. You bite down on Ransom’s fingers, still in your mouth, as you thrust your hips, down onto Ransom and then back into Andy, wanting to feel it all at once. They both speed up, fucking into you hard and fast as your pleas and cries fill the room. 

Andy slams into you and it tips you right over the edge. Your thighs start to shake as you tense before your orgasm rips through your body. You don’t even recognize your own voice as you screech and moan, the waves crashing over and over again. You soon feel Ransom shudder beneath you and then a warmth spread through you as he ruts hard into you as he begins to spurt. Andy is close behind, his spunk spilling into your ass seconds after Ransom.

Andy pushes deep into you before he places his palm flat in the center of your back. You’re a mess. Cum dripping from your pussy and ass, strings of saliva hanging from your lips and chin. You’re sated - fucked like every girl on the planet should be. There’s a pair of lips on your shoulder, trailing kisses down your back as another pair peck at your forehead and the side of your face.

Ransom drags his hands up and down your thighs as you rest against him, Andy’s hands massaging your shoulders and skirting up and down your sides for only God knows how long. 

“We should probably get moving,” Andy says after a while, “I’m sure they’re wondering what’s going on in here.”

You groan, drawing laughs from both the men before you slink off of Ransom, your body now empty and cold. Andy takes your hand, helping you off the table, and keeping a hand on your back as you move on wobbly feet back to your pants. The three of you dress quietly, but within a close proximity to one another. You are, of course, the last to finish up, Andy and Ransom watching as you button up the last button on your blouse and rake your fingers through your hair. 

“Do I look okay?” You ask softly, laughing just a little as the new memories of what just happened flash before your eyes. 

You gain a smile from both of them, both picking up on your nervousness and slight hesitation, “Always.” Ransom answers.

“So, I guess I need to file new paperwork Monday morning?” Andy asks, adjusting the collar of his jacket over his neck.

You smile back before glancing over at Ransom, “What kind of paperwork?”

“Hold paperwork. Until we can… figure this out?”

Andy shifts his eyes to Ransom, who turns to you, “That’s up to the princess, here.”

Your eyes bounce between his, that seriousness reentering them again. As much as you try, you just can’t hate him. He makes it hard, but if he ever really needed you, you know you’d be there. He’d pull his stupid shit and you’d be right back in his bed, full of his cock, screaming his name. 

You glance back at Andy, whose eyes are just as serious and full of adoration as Ransom’s. He’s a good man, a steady man - the type of man that you wish Ransom could be. He’s not a man that you just give up because you can’t seem to tear yourself away from your asshole sometimes ex, sometimes not husband. 

And then, it dawns on you. 

Your smile grows larger. You scratch at your Andy’s beard with your fingers before linking your free hand with Ransom’s. You’ve got the best of both worlds, sitting right in the palm of your hand. Not only do you hold Ransom’s power, you have Andy’s too. 

Ransom was right, this will be fun for the three of you.

[ncssian]

A Favor: Part Twelve

Nessian Modern AU

Masterlist

a/n: this took so long bc ive been reading chain of iron and in general agonizing over things i cant control instead of being productive 🥴 that being said, absolutely none of the events in this chapter were planned in my outline, but here we are with something new!

***

December brings more snow and bone chilling weather, to the point where Cassian has to drag Nesta out of bed, either physically or by phone call, to get her to therapy appointments on time. 

She’s in the waiting room one freezing morning when, in her utter boredom, she musters up the nerve to turn to the girl sitting next to her. “What are you in here for?”

The girl blinks her large blue eyes, taking notice of Nesta for the first time. Nesta uses the opportunity to take in her freckle-painted face, a little wan but beautiful. Reddish brown hair hangs around her face and shoulders, creating a thick curtain from the rest of the world, and Nesta’s curiosity piques like she’s just found a shiny new toy.

It probably isn’t right to compare people to toys, but then the girl says, “This isn’t prison, you know.” Her voice is deep, almost sultry— completely at odds from her huddled-in posture and sickened expression. “I didn’t commit a crime to have to be here.”

Is she insulted by Nesta’s question, or is she poking a joke? Nesta decides to play it safe by murmuring, “Sorry, never mind.”

She starts to turn away when the girl says, “We’re trying a new type of trauma therapy today. I had to get here half an hour early because I couldn’t swallow my nerves.”

Nesta might lack many social skills, but she isn’t stupid enough to ask what kind of trauma the girl is being treated for. Instead, she nods casually as if she understands the struggle. “I’ve been coming here for weeks now and I’ve barely discussed shit. That’s mostly on me, but you know…” She actually doesn’t know where she’s going with her train of thought. “It sounds brave to do whatever you're doing,” she states finally. “I don’t think I’ll be able to open up that much about myself, ever.” 

The girl gives Nesta a weird look that she immediately recognizes. Nesta uses it every time she doesn’t know how to respond to someone who takes her by surprise.

The door to Lana’s office clicks open, and the woman herself pokes her head out with a plain smile. “Ready, Nesta?”

Nesta bites down on her frown. She has a feeling today won’t be as easy as her past sessions.

She’s about to leave without another glance at the girl beside her when that low voice speaks up. “I’m Gwyn.”

Nesta looks back at her as she gets up from her chair, and says the first reply that comes to mind: “Good to know.”

***

Nesta is contemplative hours after she gets back from her therapy session, bundled up in her bed with a coloring book. The repetitive motion of filling in the mandala drawing lets her mind wander, picking up and dropping different thoughts like she’s inspecting stones. 

She keeps her wrist light as she colors in with red. She finally said Tomas’s name in therapy today, though the action left a slimy feeling in Nesta’s stomach that lingers even now. She also spoke about her sisters, which somehow ended up leading to a discussion of her uterus. 

“How have you been dealing with the endometriosis news?”

Nesta shrugged. “I’m getting treated, and my last period was more bearable than usual—”

“I mean mentally, how are you doing? With how your condition could affect your future?”

Nesta narrowed her eyes. “Affect me how?”

“Have you never considered the impact it could have on your ability to bear children?”

“Not everything in life is about bearing children, you know.”

“We’re humans. It’s definitely something to consider.”

“Not for me. I’ve never wanted kids.” A mistruth at best. “I don’t care what endo does or doesn’t do to me on those grounds.”

In a way, Nesta told herself, the health risks were actually for the best. If she ever did, by some stupid loss of sanity, try to have children, then her body would act as a safety net from her decisions.

Lana only said, “You’ll never know how much you care or don’t care until you talk out your feelings.”

“Then I guess we’ll never know.”

Nesta lets the memory of that conversation drop like a stone on a shore. That’s not something she has to face for a good long while. No, right now she has to face her past. 

Her sisters, and her ex, and even her father— 

I wonder if I came off too strong with Gwyn today. 

Her hand stops drawing, and she switches out her red marker for an orange one. This thought she doesn’t mind inspecting for a little longer: she and Gwyn ended up leaving their sessions at the same time, which meant they were forced into stilted conversation on the way down to the parking lot. 

Not forced, Nesta self-corrects. She willingly initiated a conversation, and it didn’t go terribly. She wonders if making friends in therapy waiting rooms is a real thing.

Her phone vibrates beside her, breaking her hours-long mental bubble. Blinking dazedly, she answers the phone call.

“How are you?” is the first thing Cassian says to her. He makes sure to ask her that at least twice a day, like a gauging of her temperature. It makes Nesta wonder what she’s ever done in her life to call for such… attention to her well-being. 

“I’m good,” she answers honestly. “My head’s a little loud right now, but I don’t mind it.”

“Wanna talk about it?”

“No, I’d rather hear you talk.” She slumps back against her pillows, coloring book forgotten. “What’s up?”

“Ah...” Cassian sounds hesitant for the first time since their relationship started. “It’s just that I haven’t gotten my Christmas decorations up yet, and I was going to ask if you wanted to help.”

Nesta takes a moment to absorb his words. “It’s December fifth,” she says.

“Yeah?”

“You just seem like somebody who does their decorations the day after Thanksgiving.”

“Well, this year is a little different, with you moving out and being busy with school…” He pauses. “I was waiting to do it with you.”

When she doesn’t reply, Cassian adds, “I don’t even know if you care about Christmas. I know you and your family sort of ignored holidays. It’s fine if you don’t want to—”

“I’ll be over right now,” Nesta blurts. 

Half an hour later, Cassian swings open his door with a smug grin on his face; a vast difference from the stammering hesitance he displayed over the phone earlier. Nesta’s own lips want to pull up into a smile just at the sight of him, but she holds back and narrows her eyes instead. “What’s got you so worked up?” she questions as she steps into the warmth of the cabin and out of the freezing cold.

“The way you ran over here as soon as I asked.” He looks her up and down, still amused. “You didn’t even bother to change, did you?”

It’s true: she’s in the same sweatpants and long sleeved tee she wore around home, and her socked feet are shoved into slippers. 

“Get that smirk off your face.” Nesta flicks his nose before tossing her coat off. “If this is a competition about who’s got a bigger puppy-crush for whom, you already won when you delayed putting up your Christmas decorations for me.”

“Fair enough,” he grins. The words send an unexpected pang through Nesta, because it’s partly true, isn’t it? He cares more openly for her than she does for him. 

She looks away in guilt, not knowing how to fix the imbalance. Her eyes land on the living room coffee table, where their half-finished jigsaw puzzle sits. It’s been stored under the couch for the past few weeks, forgotten by Nesta and Cassian alike as they moved on with their lives, but now it’s sitting out again.

“Have you been working on the puzzle without me?” She raises an inquisitive brow, about to feel— hurt.

“Never,” Cassian promises, saving her from that irrational hurt. “I just brought it out because I figured we should get to finishing it one day.”

She pads over to the table, picking up a puzzle piece and turning it over in her hand. “I don’t know if you remember, but we had a terrible time working on this,” she scoffs lightly.

“Oh, I remember,” he says, coming up behind her and stealing the piece from her grasp. “I think it’s safe to say those evenings were the worst fights we’ll ever have together.”

Nesta leans back against Cassian’s chest and hums. “It made us a stronger couple, don’t you think?” She turns her head up and back to meet Cassian’s eyes, finding that he’s already looking down at her.

Hypnotized, she leans into his warmth. She only manages to land the smallest kiss against his lips when his hand squeezes her ass cheek. “You’re here for a job, remember?” He taps her butt before pulling away, gesturing to the Christmas tree in the corner of the living area with his chin. It stands bare. “You do tinsel, I’ll do lights.”

Tinsel is harder to work with than Nesta remembers. She only manages to get half the tree done before plopping onto the Persian rug, exhausted and covered in silvery material. She doesn’t mind laying there while Cassian continues working; it’s her revenge for when he napped on her bed while she moved in.

“You know the stair railings still need to be wreathed, Archeron.”

Nesta declines to respond, tilting her head on the carpet for a better view of her boyfriend’s ass instead. “All this decorating,” she starts. “Is it just for you?”

Cassian turns to her, surprised. “Well…”

She pushes up onto her elbows, catching her mistake. “Are we doing Christmas together? Or are your friends coming over?” She hasn’t bothered to celebrate Christmas in years now, and she doesn’t care much what Cassian’s plans are either way.

“I was hoping for both?” He sounds hesitant. “Christmas Eve is all the way over in Velaris, but I was thinking we could go together, open some presents, and come back and spend Christmas here.”

Nesta purses her lips. She doesn’t actually hate that plan. Both Feyre and Elain have been pestering her with the annual texts asking her to visit for Christmas, and for once, she feels like responding to them. The invitation is more of a formality than an actual request at this point; she doubts her sisters want her there after years of rejections, but… what’s the harm?

“Is that a yes?” Cassian asks at her unreadable face.

“Yes,” she states unflinchingly. She refuses to overthink the possible consequences of this choice and chooses to focus on the broad grin overtaking Cassian’s face. “Really?” he says.

“But there has to be rules.” Nesta sits up fully now. “No one can know we’re together, no matter how much you trust or love them.”

“We already agreed to that, baby.”

Yes, but Nesta knows the secret weighs on him heavier than he shows— even if he agrees with her that it's for the best. “It’ll be different when we’re together in the same room as everyone else,” she says. Cassian wears his beating heart on his sleeve, and she doesn’t think he’s ever had to hide it before.

“You’ll also be different,” she adds. “It’s a huge change of pace.”

Cassian drops the remaining strand of lights and smiles confusedly down at her. “What do you mean, I’ll be different?” He sits across from her, before the blazing fire. 

“You know how you get around your friends.” Nesta shrugs without a thought. “Like your personality readjusts to mirror the people around you. I used to find it a mix of sad and adorable, like a neglected puppy desperate for love, but now I— okay, I still feel the same way.” She waves a hand in a dismissive gesture.

By the look on Cassian’s face, he does not find her words so easily dismissed. 

Coldness curdles in the pit of Nesta’s stomach, the realization that she’s said something wrong. She can’t fix it until she knows where she fucked up, though.

“Is that what you think of me?” Cassian finally says lowly. His usually expressive mouth is drawn tight and narrow. 

“Um… What would you rather I think of you?”

His eyes widen in disbelief. “Seriously, Nesta?”

Nesta’s back stiffens, refusing to cower. “I only described what I’ve observed in the past.”

“And what you observed was a desperate puppy?” His voice is cold in a way she’s never heard before.

Okay, she’s starting to see how that might be offensive. She forges onward, “Tell me what you think about yourself in the presence of your family, then.” It’s a private victory that she says family instead of clown circus. But she’s not trying to turn this into a fight.

Cassian is silent, but his stare continues to rage at her.

“Tell me,” Nesta repeats.

His hands curl into fists on the rug. “I think I’m empathetic, easy to talk to, and easier to be around. Is it a problem if I’m likable?” Unlike you are the unsaid words.

Nesta inspects the space between them like it’s a chessboard. “And what part of yourself are you giving up to be so likable, Cassian?” she says quietly.

“Nothing.”

Nesta disagrees, if only because she’s been watching him out of the corner of her eye for years. “I think you base your personality off of those you love, and you lose a little bit of your true self every time you put others’ needs before your own.” 

She shuts her mouth, not having expected such honesty to come out of it. Cassian is taken aback, too, she can tell.

“And I guess it’s natural that you’d see all of that as a bad thing, considering your history of being closed off and self-serving to a fault,” he fires back with the flatness Nesta utilizes so often.

One for one. Fair enough. “We’re both right then,” Nesta says. “You work for your best friend because you have no ambition beyond serving your family, and I have no such family because I can’t bring myself to care about those things. Are we even now?”

Cassian furrows his brows, those defensive walls melting away as he realizes she’s completely serious. “What? No, Nes—” He shakes his head. “Okay, so maybe you’re right about me. Maybe I agree with you a little bit, but… If we see flaws in each other, then we should be working to overcome them instead of weaponizing them.”

Now Nesta’s the one shaking her head, quickly lifting a hand to stop him. “Relax there, sweetheart. I have no expectations from you or myself to go on some self-improvement journey now that we’re together. Talking about my feelings with a professional every week is hard enough.” Yes, agreeing to go to Feyre’s Christmas party is improvement. Slow, barely there improvement, but enough to wear her out for the rest of the month. For Nesta to fully let people into her life, to treat them as lovingly as she treats Cassian— that’s a long way away. She can’t envision it, doesn’t even know if she wants it.

Cassian must understand some of what she’s thinking, because he nods and backs off. He gets back up and returns to stringing lights, tossing a handful of tinsel at Nesta as if to say Get back to work. 

She stands and obeys, thinking their not-argument is officially over when Cassian says, “You’re wrong about one thing.”

She looks up from where she threads tinsel through fir leaves. He doesn’t take his eyes off his work as he says, “You do have a family. And deep, deep down, you care about them as much as I care about mine.”

***

Nesta catches Emerie’s eye as the dark-haired beauty walks into the pub. Raising a hand and waving, she gestures Emerie over to the booth she’s sitting in. 

“Look what I found,” Nesta says with a hint of pride, pointing to the redhead sitting beside her. “A third girl for girl’s night!”

“I was kidnapped,” Gwyn speaks up. “Jumped on the way to my car.” She’s out of her usual hoodie and in a tight-fitting blouse, looking stunning even while seeming out of place in the dim bar.

“She came here consensually,” Nesta retorts. “Emerie, this is Gwyn. We met at therapy.”

Gwyn offers Emerie an awkward smile.

Emerie slides into the booth across from them with raised brows. She looks between Nesta and the new girl and back again. “You invited her here? All by yourself?” she asks.

Nesta nods firmly.

Emerie breaks into a wide grin and reaches over the table to grab Nesta’s hand. “I’m so proud of you!” If Emerie were anyone else, she’d be squealing in excitement, but Emerie does not squeal.

Nesta waves off her friend’s praise, though a part of her wants to beam at it, too.

Gwyn glances between the two of them with slight amusement. “I mean, it’s not that impressive,” she says. “She came on a bit too strong, probably a five out of ten on the asking-someone-out scale.”

“‘A bit too strong’ is all you’re gonna get with Nesta,” Emerie says, lifting her hand to order drinks. “She’s all-or-nothing, and most people would pray she doesn’t give them her nothing.”

Nesta doesn’t know if that’s a compliment, but she supposes there are worse things that could be said about her.

“So, Gwyn, what do you do?” Emerie leans forward. “All our friends are law students and it’s starting to get boring.”

Gwyn goes off about her librarian job as Nesta orders their drinks, and Emerie rests her chin in her hand and listens eagerly. Christmas music plays softly in the background and snow flurries gently outside. Nesta thinks she can’t be doing that bad in life, if she’s managed to carve out this little slice of happiness for herself.

***

a/n: i promise shit actually happens next chapter! we're getting christmas with nessian and the ic in the same room for the first time

taglist: @ladywitchling @sjm-things @thewayshedreamed @drielecarla @valkyriewarriors @superspiritfestival @aliveahaahahafuck @cupcakey00 @sayosdreams @rainbowcheetah512 @claralady @thebluemartini @nessiantho @missing-merlin @duskandstarlight @lucy617 @sleeping-and-books @everything-that-i-love @cassianscool @swankii-art-teacher @awesomelena555 @julemmaes @wickedqueenoffantasy @poisonous-bloom @observationanxioustheorist @gisellefigue08 @courtofjurdan @theoverlyenthusiasticwriter @wolfiixxx @cass-nes @seashade @royaltykxx @illyrianundercover @queenestarcheron @monstrousloves-explodinggalaxies @humanexile @that-golden-lyre @agentsofsheilds @mercy-is-alive @cassiansbigwingspan @laylaameer01 @verypaleninja @maastrash @bow-dawn @perseusannabeth @dead-on-the-inside666 @jlinez @hungryreadingaddict @anidealiveson

[jeonqukie]

PLAYING CUPID / 01.

SYNOPSIS / Consistently overshadowed by your older sister, you expect your days in high school to be filled with plastic smiles and apathetic peers with hidden intentions. Everything changes when four of the most popular guys in school join you and your best friend for lunch on the first day of school.

FEATURING / Kim Namjoon; appearances by Jung Hoseok, Park Jimin, Kim Taehyung, and Jeon Jungkook.

GENRES & TAGS / high school au, freshman reader, senior namjoon, student council president namjoon, best friend jungkook, lots of fluff, and some angst.

WARNINGS / Graphic and mature language, slight age difference/gap (to clarify, oc is 14-15 yrs old and namjoon is 17 - first part is rated pg); list will be updated as fic is updated accordingly.

WORD COUNT / ~10.3k

NOTES / I am a day late in posting this and I want to let you guys know that this is... not edited at all and I will be looking through this every now and then to correct any errors. But I hope you enjoy the first part of this series! I wasn’t expecting this to be relatively long, but it was all to set up the characters dynamics and the history behind the reader and Namjoon’s relationship. Any feedback is appreciated. To repeat, I’m so sorry this was super late. Please expect part 2 to be up in ~2 weeks. (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡

All rights reserved © jeonqukie (formerly known as aiscka). All (or portions) of my work may not be reproduced, redistributed, reclaimed, translated, modified, or used in any way whatsoever without my permission.

“You’re Sena’s little sister, right?”

You’d be a damn millionaire if you made a dollar for every person on campus tried to break the ice with you. It was a severe understatement to say that your older sister was known around town. She was vice president of the student council, president of the debate club, and the best player on the varsity volleyball team. All of the teachers and faculty adored her, every girl wanted to be her, and every guy wanted to be with her.

For the longest time, you assumed your sister was a celebrity on campus.

You were so wrong.

It was because you never met him. You’ve heard his name so many times whenever your sister had sleepovers with her friends or when she was on the phone with a friend, whispering so softly into the receiver, afraid that someone would find out about that she had a crush on him. You were perplexed because you thought your sister was a very forward person; she had so much confidence talking to so many guys who desperately wanted her attention yet somehow her palms would sweat over him.

“Hey, you know who Kim Namjoon is?” You would sit at the cafeteria for the first time with your best friend, Jungkook, who had devoured half of his ham and cheese croissant sandwich. He looks at you and he would raise one brow.

“Oh no, don’t tell me you’re one of those girls who’s obsessed with hyung.” But Jungkook sees the genuine confusion form on your face. You catch a glimpse of your older sister who sat on the other side of the cafeteria, thumbing a reply on her phone while her friend nudges at her when she sees the notorious posse that every girl swoons over.

It was a scene right out of a movie.

At that time, you had the faintest idea who they were, but you were quick to find out why they were so well known around campus. Jung Hoseok was the senior of the group; he was a dancer and was featured in numerous music videos by well-known artists and he had an extensive list of choreographers willing to work with him. Kim Taehyung and Park Jimin were inseparable; they were juniors who ran the school newspaper and the school yearbook – Taehyung being in charge of the photography while Jimin being in charge of the organizing the yearbook staff. Meanwhile, there was Kim Namjoon; student council president, valedictorian of his class, member of the honor society and numerous organizations on campus.

“Wait, you know who Namjoon is?” You were curious whether Jungkook knew of him, not exactly knowing the guy.

“Yeah. I mean, he’s been my next-door neighbor for god knows how long. His folks and mine go out for golfing twice a month.” You just nod to his answer when you are shoving a chocolate moon pie into your mouth.

But your mouth instantly goes dry when the four guys appear right across from you and Jungkook are seated.

“Gukie!” Hoseok exclaimed at the sight of Jungkook still devouring his croissant. “Look at you! Finally, you’re with the hyungs in high school.” The tease made Jungkook’s ears go pink and you feel your own face get hot; not because of second hand embarrassment, but because you can see everyone’s eyes on you – the two freshmen who had no right to be sharing a table with, what you can only assume, the four most popular guys on campus.

There were many times where people would only want to get to know you because of your sister; girls wanted to get close to you because you were had a cool older sister and boys wanted to be with you because they were so eager to come over to your place and obsess over Sena.

Jungkook, on the other hand, had no interest in her. As a matter of fact, you met Jungkook when you were in middle school and took a swimming class and later found out that you two were in the same class and bonded over your competitive nature in swim class.

“Who’s this? You got a girlfriend on your first day already?” You and Jungkook exchange a look of disgust with each other and create a sensible amount of space for each other to establish that you both see each other as friends.

“Oh my god, wait – you’re Sena’s little sister, right?” Hoseok corrected Jimin who had made the assumption you and Jungkook were an item. Jungkook can see the way you scrunch your nose from his periphery, and he decides to answer for you instead.

“This is YN. She’s… literally been my best friend since middle school.” Jungkook introduces you to the four people right across from you. “YN, this is Hoseok – well, I call him Hobi-hyung. This is Jimin-hyung and Tae-hyung. I’m pretty sure you know Namjoon-hyung because –”

“ – school council president.” You interrupt because you didn’t want Jungkook to reveal that you had been inquiring about him earlier. “I remember because you made that welcome speech this morning at the assembly.”

Namjoon is rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment and you resume eating your packed lunch, despite losing all appetite because you are surrounded by so many people did not know. They weren’t terrible people, but you weren’t mentally prepared for such strong personalities and dynamics to be introduced all at once. You felt like an intruder – a fly on the wall – because everyone carried on with their normal conversations; Jungkook and Hoseok were talking about plans for the weekend and then Jimin and Taehyung were already drafting out ideas for the yearbook. Meanwhile, you sat in silence as you ate your tuna salad sandwich, reading a new book you were gifted over the summer by your parents.

“Let me know when you’re done.” A voice catches your attention, and you stop all chewing. “The book, I mean.” Namjoon clarifies and he sees that you are already halfway done with it. “I read it a year ago and I’d like to hear what you think of it.” He offers you a heartwarming smile and you nod once, returning the same grin.

“I started it a week ago. I really like it so far.” The conversation is light and drowned out by the loud voices beside you.

You never really pinned him as a reader.

“So, how’s your first day so far?” He inquires and you honestly thought that the conversation was… over. Normally, that’s how all the conversations go when people find out your Sena’s little sister. They feign their interest in you and instantaneously ask about her.

“It’s… nothing special.” You admit, smoothing your fingers on the pages of the book. “Most of the classes I have before lunch, Guk’s with me. Now –”

“Now, her large, wrinkled brain is going to abandon me and get into those advanced program and honors classes.” You are rolling your eyes at your best friend who whines that you decided not to take the same classes as him.

“We literally have homeroom, social studies, and PE together and then we see each other for breaks and lunch. I think you’ll live.” The group laughs which earns quite a bit of stares from outsiders, but they seem to be completely unfazed by it. Everyone turns back to their own conversations and, usually, your social presence isn’t necessarily sought out by people.

It wasn’t until you hear another inquiry fall out of Namjoon’s mouth.

“What do you have right after lunch?”

“Biology.”

“Honors biology, by the way. Can’t you spare just one regular class for me? Or does your GPA really matter that much to you?” Jungkook complains and you are left ignoring his comments.

If there was one thing that your older sister taught you (something you actually agree with) is that colleges love a good GPA and joining as many clubs as possible. You even remembered how she’d phrase it for you; college admissions officers will cream their pants when you score that 4.0 GPA and do something out of the box from the rest of your peers.

“Or just get smarter, Guk.” Hoseok poked fun at Jungkook, earning a shrug from Jungkook. Namjoon, on the other hand, is smiling from ear to ear at the dynamic between the elder and the youngest of the group.

“Let me see your schedule.” Namjoon urges as he spots your clear binder which has your printed schedule on the cover. You push over your binder to Namjoon who is scanning your binder; he reads through your name, your birth date, the list of teachers you had for the semester and the classes assigned to you.

You feel indifferent about the sudden attention on you, especially from Namjoon; a mere stranger who everyone obsessed over was so piqued by you. You observe the way the corner of his slips curve into an impressive smirk as he glances over at Hoseok.

“Guess who we have for calculus at the end of the day?” He slides over your binder where the rest of the group examine the rest of your schedule, only for Hoseok to find a coinciding class with you.

“How the fuck are you in a senior’s class? Are you some math whiz or something?” Taehyung’s eyes widen at the sight of an advanced calculus class on your schedule. It was one of the things you were proud of you; you were good at math – it happened to be Sena’s worst subject and your parents often joke what she lacked; you had gained immensely.

“Yeah, YN’s cracked, hyung. I don’t understand. I remember in middle school they had to make arrangements for her to get into a pre-caclulus class or some shit like that.” Jungkook finishes his fruit cup and gathers all of the trash on site to toss over to the closest garbage bin.

Namjoon is sliding your binder right back at you, brows raised at you with the same grin he had on. He stares at you for what seemed like a long time – to you, it seemed like a long time and he is glancing back down at where your fingers brush against each other and he pulls away, not wanting to make you feel uncomfortable.

“I – um, saw that you were taking orchestra too.”

You nod and chew on your cheek, self-conscious all of a sudden about your appearance because you are very much aware that Namjoon is examining every aspect of your face.

“Yeah. I mean, I already know how to play the piano, so I might as well learn how to play another instrument, right?”

“No – yeah, you’re right.” He stammers and he folds his hands together only to be interrupted by Jimin tossing over a bag of pretzels at Namjoon.

“Bell’s about to ring. Pretzels was all they had left. We need to head to physics soon.” Taehyung and Jimin are swinging their bags over their shoulders. Hoseok is too busy on his phone, showing Jungkook a video of his new choreography.

Suddenly, you are receiving a plethora of notifications in the depths of your jean pocket. Your fingers unlock your phone only to reveal a series of text messages from your sister.

Sena [12:29]: Did you just spend your entire lunch with Kim Namjoon?

Sena [12:32]: Earth to YN?

Sena [12:39]: GUK IS FRIENDS WITH ALL 4 OF THEM.

Sena [12:41]: You have officially made a fucking impression to this school. I’m so proud of you. You’re sitting with us at lunch tomorrow.

“Guess I’ll see you later, YN.” The bell doesn’t descend you back to reality. Instead, it was his voice that brings you to pack up your things into your bag. “You might want to sit at the back for Mr. Lu’s biology class; he’s a spitter.” Namjoon swings his backpack over his shoulder. “He reuses the same lesson plan every year. If you need any help with them, you know who to look for.”

As you’re swinging your own bag, Namjoon leaves you with a wink as he is exiting the doors of the cafeteria into the school hallways.

Now, you understand why the entire world was obsessed with Kim Namjoon.

“Alright, let’s get started,” Mrs. Kang, your calculus, is a middle-aged woman who didn’t look like she had aged past thirty. You found it incredibly hard to believe the woman was nearly in her mid-forties who had three kids of her own. She looked like a stern woman but had a good heart from what you remembered; she only wanted what was best for the class even though it meant tormenting them with a shit ton of homework. “I don’t need to go over the syllabus with you bunch. As you can see, this is a much smaller class than a regular class because not a lot of people pass this class.”

Silence fills the room from when you had first arrived. You were one of the last few people to find your seat because your class was all the way on the other side of campus. It seemed like everyone in your class were juniors or seniors. There were so many of them who knew each other from previous classes; they were all huddled in their own designated spots in the class, so you sat at the front of the class because all the seats at the back had been taken and it may help that you’re at the front because it’ll force you to pay attention.

“There’s a lot of material to cover and there’s only so much I can do. Since we’ve implemented the new block schedule, we’ll only be seeing each other for an hour and a half every Wednesdays and Fridays. First thirty minutes will be on new material, next thirty minutes will be spent on practice problems, and then the last thirty minutes will be working with your partner on getting your homework started. I’ve figured getting a head start on the homework for the last thirty minutes will be helpful just in case you or your partner are lost, you have me to ask for assistance.”

Someone’s hand raises up in the air out of your periphery.

Mrs. Kang points to them. “Yes, Namjoon?”

“How do we determine who are partners will be?”

“Please tell me we get to pick our partners.” Mrs. Kang is already turning her back to the class as she searches for a box that had been hidden behind her computer monitor only for her shake the contents of the box.

“The last time I gave the students the opportunity to choose who their partner was, I’ve written a disciplinary notice for academic dishonesty twice a week.” Mrs. Kang prefaced, and the room goes silent. As she continues ruffling through folded papers inside the wooden box, you are already aware of how the partner system is going to work.

Everything was going to be randomly assigned.

“We have 26 of you total which means there will be 13 pairs.” Mrs. Kang announces, and she walks around the class starting from the left where the person is picking a folded paper out of the box. Each person who had unfolded their paper sat patiently until Mrs. Kang had completed distributing the paired assignments around the room. She is fetching a pen and paper as she sits on her desk.

“Alright, our first pair is –” Mrs. Kang looks up to see two people raise their hands; it had been Hoseok and a girl with the prettiest bangs named Mimi. Mrs. Kang continued jotting down the pairs until you scanned the number on your own paper; a large 12 inscribed on your already tattered paper.

You hear Mrs. Kang’s voice as she calls out for the twelfth pair and you raise your hand. You don’t see anyone in your periphery raise their hands, so you turn your body around to search for your partner.

Your body turns cold and still, but you can feel your cheeks get warm at the sight of Namjoon seated down at the back with Hoseok with his hands raised, revealing that he had pulled the same number as you. The thumping in your heart is loud and it beats hard as each moment passes.

Both your hands lower and you are trying to turn your attention back to the front of the class where your teacher stood, but you can feel his eyes on you. You remembered scolding yourself, unaware of why you were so nervous and so shocked to be his partner – he saw you nothing more than another classmate; someone to help him with his assignments.

“Perfect! Since we have our pairs, everyone will be sitting next to their partner from now on; I don’t care where it’ll be. I just need you to sit with them, so we’re not scrambling at the last thirty minutes of class to find them.” Mrs. Kang says sternly, clearly not wanting to waste time in this class. “Shall we begin?”

“How do you already have so much shit to do?” Jungkook laid comfortably on your bed, shoving down salt and vinegar potato chips that your parents had bought from the store last weekend. “Do you like never take a break from reading or what?”

“It’s just a really interesting book.” You say as you flip through the next page and bite into an apple.

You two laid on your bed, basking in the afternoon sun. Normally, you two didn’t have this much down time. Last summer, you two volunteered to be camp counselors to lessen the boredom you two would endure. It was either that or spending every goddamn weekend on the golf course with Jungkook’s parents and yours.

“I was thinking of trying out for the track & field team.” Jungkook informs you and you resume reading. “Namjoon-hyung tells me that the team runs right after school and it sounds fun. Events are early though, and we all know I’m not an early riser.”

The mention of Namjoon urged you to reminisce back to your last period that day. Mrs. Kang mentioned that she wasn’t going to let the class immediately sit right next to their homework partner – thank god. You just wouldn’t know what to talk about with him; you don’t really know what to talk about with people because they always somehow led the conversation back to your older sister.

But, at the end of class, he did manage to keep up with you as you hastily packed all your items into the bag before you darted outside of the classroom. You planned on walking home with Jungkook and you two would meet at the front of the school. Namjoon, somehow, caught up to you in time.

He had grabbed your arm and greeted with you with his million-dollar smile. “Hey,” He breathes, and you stop to offer him a meeker and shier smile.

“Hi, what’s up?”

“You’re meeting with Guk?”

You give him a single nod before he hands you two pieces of paper. You’re curious as to what they are, and you see the words parent’s consent form along with the health forms to give to a doctor – for a physical.

“He’ll know what they’re for.” He reassured you and you hold onto the forms. “Thanks for that. I have to go; I have a meeting in five minutes with the student council.”

“I’ll be sure to give it to him. Was there anything else you wanted to tell him?”

He shakes his head, and he starts reversing his steps, clutching onto the straps of his bags. “I – um, I’m really looking forward for calculus – you know, the whole partner thing. I must be really lucky to be partnered with a cracked, math whiz like you.”

Now, you’re blushing because you weren’t really sure if you were supposed to be flattered or offended.

And he read you so well because he is suddenly panicking but he hid it. He stops his reverses, and he takes one step closer to you.

“I’ll see you and Guk at lunch tomorrow, if that’s alright?” He hums; his voice sounded so soft and clear to you – no one can hear a single thing he had said to you, but you heard him bright as day. Suddenly, you feel a grin creep up to your mouth and you nod once. You had regained some of your confidence back and Namjoon can see it. “Cool, well, I’ll see you ‘round, YN.”

“Earth to YN.” Jungkook snaps at you and you pay attention to your friend who is lying next to you. “Did you hear a single thing I said?”

“Sorry ‘bout that. I dozed for a couple minutes.” You admit and he scrunches his brows, dismissing your moment of silence.

“I was asking how it was like to be in a class of seniors.”

“There’s no difference, honestly.” You begin your thought. “It sucks just because I don’t really know anyone, and everyone knows everyone.”

“Yeah, but you have Namjoon-hyung and Hobi-hyung.” Jungkook reassures you. “They’re basically your friends now because we’ll be hanging around them a lot.”

You weren’t sure if you were looking forward to or nervous to be spending a lot more time with the older guys. They made a good first impression on you though; they’ve probably only mentioned your sister’s name once. Granted, it was only thirty minutes spent together, but it was so much better than most of the conversations you’ve had with everybody else.

“That’s true. I have Namjoon as my homework partner, so I’ll… definitely need to get along with him.” You chuckle under your breath as you read through each line without comprehending a single thing. Your mind had been so clouded with the idea of Namjoon and you weren’t sure why.

Jungkook decided not to stay for dinner that evening even though mom made two pans of lasagna to feed a village. However, he did help you and your mother prepare it. Your mom was pretty insistent on it, so you promise that you’d be giving him some leftovers for lunch the next day. Your dad arrived home next; it was a typical evening – he beelined to your mom, planted a kiss on her cheek and patted your back before he hastily moved to the office to continue working. Sena arrived home from school at a later hour than usual before she was already setting the plates on the dining table.

“Alright, Guk, final offer.” Your mother says as she is pulling out two piping pans of lasagna out of the oven.

“No, thanks, Mrs. LN.” He respectfully declines before he is swinging his backpack over his shoulder. “Mom’s expecting me home right about now for dinner. I’ll definitely ask YN to pack me up some leftovers though.”

“Alright.” She waves him a goodbye before you are showing him to the door. “Walk home safely.” She bids him a goodbye softly as she pulls the foils off the pan.

“Pack me an extra serving, please.” Jungkook pleads and you roll your eyes before he already made his way out of the door.

“Honey, dinner’s ready!”

“You did not tell me Jungkook was friends with Namjoon.” Sena settles herself on the dining table and you sit right across from her, waiting for your mom to begin serving everyone a slice of lasagna.

“Quite frankly, I didn’t know Jungkook even knew Namjoon either. I’d say I’m just as surprised as you are, but I really don’t know what the fascination is with Namjoon.” You lied through your teeth as your mom serves herself first (she called dibs on the corner piece) and you decide on getting the smallest piece since you weren’t so hungry that evening.

“Are you talking about Mr. and Mrs. Kim’s son? Is this the same Namjoon we’re talking about right now?” Your mom’s curiosity is evident in her tone, taking small bites out of a side salad she had prepared.

“Yes, and Sena is hopelessly in love with him.” You shove the lettuce into your mouth as you wait for your lasagna serving to cool down momentarily.

“How can you not be in love with him?” She breathes out hastily. Your dad has his brows raised in disbelief; his daughter talking endlessly about her crush.

“He is a nice boy; responsible, kind, gentle, polite, seems to get things done, really cute too.” Your mom lists his never-ending advantages, and you stray away from their eyes because you hate the admit that you find him incredibly cute.

“Can we please talk about something other than this boy?” Your father is already exhausted from listening to you talk about Namjoon and you don’t blame him, really. “How was the first day for you, dear?” He refers to you and you are still chewing on your dinner.

“I have three classes with Guk. I like all of my classes so far; I can already tell calculus is going to be… a lot of work. We have a test every week and we mandatory study sessions after school for the exam to qualify for college credits. Thankfully, I have a partner to work with just in case I don’t understand anything. There’s also –”

“Who’s your partner? Maybe I know them.”

Your silence is defeating, and you look at your dad who is waiting for his answer and you dart your eyes back at Sena who is piecing the puzzle in her head, so she drops her mouth open, gasping at your lack of a response.

“No fucking way!”

“Language, please, Sena.” Your mom scolds.

“I mean, you’ve been in the same classes as him before! I’m sure you’ve been in a group project with him or something. You guys are in the same clubs. I don’t understand why you haven’t asked him out.” You weren’t so sure what motivated you to blurt it all out because your sister was definitely a good catch, but the obsession with him was getting way out of hand.

“That’s ridiculous, YN. I would never ask out a guy. I don’t even know he likes me that way.” Sena is taking small bites out of her dinner and you sigh to yourself, chewing on the inside of your cheek. “If there was only a way for me to find out. It’s not like I have a sister who’s partners with him in a class – oh, she’s also best friends with his next-door neighbor! How convenient.”

She eyes at you where you decide to focus on your meal, but her eyes are pleading and desperate.

“I… am completely eliminating myself from this predicament, Sena. If you want to ask him out for yourself, you should do it. Besides, who wouldn’t like you? You’re amazing.” Your voice is sincere and genuine, and you hope she pushes all of her fears and insecurities to the side to do something about her feelings.

“It would just be so much easier if I knew if he thought I was cute or something.”

“Everyone thinks you’re cute.”

“That’s not the point, YN. Listen, how ‘bout this? You don’t even have to drop my name in there; just ask what his ideal girl is like or something… or let Guk do the work! I’m sure he already knows the answer. Just help a girl out, please, YN.” You sigh defeated because your sister was really good at convincing.

It wasn’t really hard to figure out what type of girl Namjoon was interested in or… if he was interested in girls. All of this was easier said than done and you were going to rely on Jungkook a lot on this.

“I’m not going to prioritize this.” You surrender and she is giddy in her seat.

“YN, you are the best sister anyone could ask for.”

Several weeks have passed since you had last had your conversation with your older sister. You made an emphasis that you weren’t going to prioritize delving into Namjoon’s personal life. You were purely on a calculus homework and best friend’s next door neighbor relationship with him. But you finally get an idea of what Namjoon likes in a girl when he had to leave early for calculus to get pep rally ready for the first football game that Friday.

Unknown [14:34]: It’s Namjoon. Got your number from Guk.

For some reason, you feel your heart leap out of your chest at the text message. You’re still seated in calculus class working on the first few problems of your homework without him. You look up to see that Mrs. Kang is too busy assisting other students confused with the problem. Honestly, you were confused too and were unsure with your methods, but your mind had been too focused on your cellphone the entire time.

Namjoon [14:35]: Should’ve gave you the heads up about this. Sorry about leaving you alone to work. ):

You [14:36]: It’s no big deal. Seems like everyone’s confused, tbh.

Namjoon [14:36]: Fuck, mb. It’s the first game of the night, so I’m kind of required to be here. I’ll make it up to you, I promise.

Namjoon [14:37]: I have some down time after setting up. Maybe we can work on it then?

You [14:37]: Just tell me the time and place, I’ll be there. (:

Namjoon says that he had somebody covering his duties for the student council before the game began. You see him rushing inside a computer lab that remained open for students to use. You had reserved a table at a secluded corner because you wanted to be away from prying eyes. He spots you trying to reread your notes and erase the umpteenth method you had tried for a word problem you were stuck on.

He admires the way your brows knit together; lips pursed as you began redoing your method on a separate piece of paper. He keeps standing, not taking his place on the chair right next to you – too afraid that you would interrupt your flow. You feel a presence right next to you and he nearly gives you a fright and you realize just how tall he is.

“You scared me.” You inform and he chuckles softly at how endearing it was. He takes the seat right next to you where he is already pulling out notebook and pencils from his bag.

“I left my book at my locker. Do you mind if I share your book with you?” You look at your open textbook and nod at once pushing the textbook closer for both of you to see. “Thanks.” He scoots much closer than you had intended and when he strips his hoodie off of him, you can smell his cologne and how good it smelled on him.

You ignore your thoughts and scurry back to the problem you’re on.

“What problem did you end on?” He inquires and you point to the exact word problem you had been staring at for the past thirty minutes in class.

“It’s been bugging me. I didn’t want to ask Mrs. Kang because I wanted to figure it out myself.” You were so stubborn, he thought to himself. You had only completed a total of eight problems when there was so much more to do for the weekend. For some reason, you decided to stay stuck on that problem for god knows how long and Namjoon found it adorable – one of the few attributes he liked about you.

He reads the word problem and begins trying to solve the problem on his own. After several tries, he had figure out what you had done wrong and he so desperately wanted to point it out to you. Just when he was about to open his mouth, you turn to him and shake your head, covering your ears with your hands.

“No. I refuse to let you tell me what you did wrong. I can figure this out myself.” You whisper harshly. Namjoon can’t help but respond with silenced laughter because this is exactly how your homework sessions have been going; just the both of you refusing to let the other correct each other until the other figured it out themselves.

“Can I give you one clue?”

“Nope.” You popped your ‘p’ to accentuate just how persistent you were. You stuck out your lower lip as you examined the word problem again and he looked at the glossiness of your mouth and the softness of your cheeks; how he desperately wanted to lay his own petals right on yours as his fingers crawl to your face.

“So, I have a question.” He starts.

“And I can try to give you an answer depending on what it is.”

“Are… you and Guk by any chance – y’know?” His question is vague, but you definitely know what he is asking you because lots of people were never really used to the idea of a boy and a girl ever being best friends; for some reason, people assume they always end up dating and never talking to each other again.

“God, no. I love him, but I don’t love him like… I’d date him.” Your cheeks were fully flamed, and you weren’t so sure why you were so embarrassed to discuss this with Namjoon. All the times you had to clarify people on your relationship with Jungkook, you were almost disgusted and quick to reassure people that you two were nothing more than friends.

“Well, is there anyone you were willing to date?” Namjoon is pushing the boundaries here and he knows it very well. But he feels like he has gotten to know you well enough in the past few weeks to ask such a question.

“Not that… I know of really.” You try to remain composed when you respond to his question, but you feel his eyes burn into your soul, so you’re doing everything you can to avoid his stare. But Namjoon continues to stare right into you. He really can’t take his eyes off of you. “Honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever really experienced what it’s like to be attracted to –” Just when you had mustered the confidence to look at him, he is quite literally staring so deeply into your eyes that it is taking your breath away.

He is making you eat your words right now; you can’t take your eyes off of him.

“You don’t know what it’s like to…?”

“I don’t what it’s like to be attracted to someone.” You sigh softly; your breath fanning him. “On the contrary, I don’t think anyone’s ever really been attracted to me.” A chuckle comes erupting from your mouth, shaking your head. “Fortunately, that’s not really my goal in high school.”

“You don’t know that.” He quips.

“I don’t know what?”

“If someone’s been attracted to you before.” You shake your head in disbelief, chewing on the inside of your cheek knowing fully well that he was doing this because he wanted to seem like a dick for not disagreeing with your self-deprecation.

“Well, what about you?” You pose the question to him. “From what I understand, most girls and guys I pass by swoon every time you pass by.” He is chuckling to himself this time and he is very much aware of his desirability among his classmates. “You have plenty of choices; I’m sure you have the opportunity to date someone you must really like at this very moment.”

“That’s what I’m hoping on. I’m just not quite sure how she feels about me.” You feel like you were unraveling his darkest secrets and you were happy he considered you close enough to reveal who it is or give an inkling to who it is.

“Do I know her by any chance?” You’re hoping that you can narrow down who he is interested in. Because you barely knew anybody, you knew this would be a piece of cake.

“Yes.” He replies simply and he is staring at you. “You know her very well, YN.” He sighs, hoping you would finally understand what he is alluding to.

“Is she in my grade?” You were really hoping that the answer would be no or else you’d be breaking some terrible news to Sena that evening after the football game.

Namjoon nods slowly and he can see how you are not picking up his hints. He sees the slight disappointment in your face for whatever reason. Suddenly, he is perplexed because, in his eyes, he has made it pretty clear who he was interested in from the get-go. Many people should make the assumption, too, considering there was only one person he had his eyes on – only one person he was giving his attention to.

“Is it… that girl in Guk’s class who –”

As you are trying to list out the girls in your class who has interacted with Namjoon, he is in complete disbelief that you have not figured it out at all. How much more clueless could you get? He is sighing now because is frustrated. He admires your persistence when it came to solving difficult word problems in calculus but it’s frustrating when you are unaware of his feelings for you.

Just when is about to confess his feelings for you, you are greeted with another presence calling for both your names.

“So, this is where you two have been.” Jungkook ambles hastily towards your table and you grin from ear to ear when he is taking out his algebra textbook. “YN, one last chance, please. I didn’t pass my last quiz which brought me one letter grade down and my dad’s going to make me quit track & field if I don’t –”

“I told you I’d help you over the weekend, dumbass. I’m busy getting shit done with Namjoon.” You breathe softly before he is hugging you on your side and you grunt at how much stronger he has gotten. “But you’re buying me coffee for a week.”

“Sick.” Jungkook simply replies before he begins unpacking some of his homework. “You excited for the football game, Namjoon-hyung?” Jungkook queries and Namjoon is baffled because the moment is gone. One interruption from his next-door neighbor and the moment’s lost.

“Fuck yeah.” Namjoon replies and he sees that you’ve suddenly lost interest in the subject. You were subconsciously listening on their conversation while you are back to resolving the complicated word problem right in front of you. “Will you two be going to the game?”

“I’ll go, but YN won’t go because she hates crowds and, honestly, she doesn’t know how the game.” You exhale in response to Jungkook’s statements. Namjoon observes that you decide to move onto another problem, wanting to tackle the word problem at a different time. “Everyone you know will practically be there. Why not give it a shot?”

“We usually have half of the bleachers reserved for the student council since we’re in charge of tickets and concessions, so it won’t be that big of a crowd.” Namjoon attempts to entice you with modifications to appease your concerns. “Plus, we’d all get to hang out with each other; no homework, no calculus talk – just… us.”

Jungkook is stunned to see you agree.

The night was a lot more enjoyable than you thought it would be. Namjoon waived off the entrance fee for the game the moment he mentioned that you and Jungkook were volunteers. Taehyung was already on the field taking photographs of the football players and cheerleaders while Jimin took photographs of the students on the bleachers. You even passed by your own sister who was busy with her own group at the entrance entertaining friends, families, and alumni into the bleachers. Meanwhile, Namjoon was overseeing every single aspect of the event; he was mainly at the concessions, not wanting to create so much traffic around it.

“Is there anything I can do to help?” You offer your assistance before he notices that you have your hair all tied up. “I’ve washed my hands if that helps.” Namjoon can’t hide his smile and he offer you a pair of food safe gloves.

“I’m usually one to decline help, but we really need it. Let’s see – Yuqi really needs to go use the bathroom, so you can be in charge of the drinks and chips right now.” You take your station at the drinks and chips stations. It was going faster than you had expected; people ordered too fast or too slow – there was no in between. There were people who were very certain with their order which you appreciated. Then, there were the people who were very fickle with their order and you can’t help but stand awkwardly to wait for them to decide.

“I can’t believe you roped me into helping.” Jungkook grumbles under his breath. “Hey, I didn’t rope you into anything.” You take the five-dollar bill from the student and offer them back their change.

“Yeah, but you made me seem like a real asshole sitting there not helping.” You can’t help but laugh at Jungkook’s pout because you knew just how much he wanted to just spend his time on the bleachers, watching the game with his hyungs. But he was stuck here helping out the student council while most of them were on their bathroom breaks.

“Once someone’s back from their bathroom break, you can go back to your game.” You soothe him and the chaos outside the booth is starting to die down. Less and less people were coming because they’ve all satisfied their craving and the game was building up – it was pretty close, so you understand why Jungkook was in there sulking with you. When you turn to look at Namjoon, hoping to convince him to let Jungkook off the hook, you don’t see him there.

You look out the window to hear your sister’s pretentious giggle. She laughed so differently around him – acted so differently around him. He stood right next to her with the rest of the council members, giving them a big pep talk. She looked at him like he was an angel who fell from heaven. Their conversation ends and the rest of the council members disband except Sena and Namjoon. They are having a personal conversation and you can’t read mouths, but you can’t tear your eyes away from their beaming faces.

“Hey, can I ask you something?” You clear your throat, speaking so softly so only Jungkook can hear you.

“I’m all ears.”

“Does – does Namjoon have a type?” You say out of curiosity. Jungkook raises a brow at you, curious as to what motivated you to ask the question.

“Uh, I don’t know. I’ve never really heard hyung talk about any girls… or his type, to be honest.” He hums and he is staring at you stare at your sister and Namjoon. “Why’d you ask?”

“It’s… for Sena.” It was the truth, but your own curiosity was definitely a motivating factor. “She’s been obsessed with Namjoon since… as long as I can remember.” You breathe out, hoping no one else can eavesdrop on your conversation. “She’s been talking a lot about him more since she found out I knew him, y’know?”

“Huh,” Jungkook leans on the table and folds his arms. “Why doesn’t she just tell him?”

“Apparently, she needs some sort of confirmation that he thinks of her that way too, so she doesn’t make a fool of herself.”

“Why don’t you just ask him then?” Your silence is clearly something Jungkook wasn’t expecting because you never actually considered it once. “He’s a pretty easy-going guy; just ask him and he’ll be honest.”

“We’re not on that level of friendship yet, I guess.”

“Well, I consider you guys close enough to ask that kind of question.”

“Then, he’d just assume I’m being friends with him because my sister was using me.”

“Well, are you?”

“No.”

Your own answer stuns you almost. Just a couple weeks ago, you knew nothing of Namjoon and, suddenly, you are on a level of friendship where you think you can confide him in anything. Perhaps, now, you really understood why everyone obsessed over him; why everyone wanted to be friends with him, why everyone wanted to date him, why everyone just wanted to be noticed by him.

“Then, feel free to ask him yourself.”

You hadn’t really worked up the courage to talk to Namjoon about his dating life. You repeated to yourself that it wasn’t really a priority to delve into what goes on behind the scenes with Namjoon. You were in a consistent state of going to school, doing your homework, reading books, and retraining your body to try out for the swim team next semester. 

But the time came when you got sick for an entire week and missed so much material, especially calculus material.

But you were eternally saved by Namjoon himself.

Namjoon had requested to drop off the homework sheets and printed copies of his notes over to you. Everything was so detailed, and you were impressed with how organized everything seemed to be. You didn’t know what motivated you to reach for your phone on your bed and dial in his number. Maybe you felt like it deserved a personal thanks rather than a typed one.

“YN?” His voice on the other line sounded so surprised and there was so much noise on the other end. “Give me a second.” He excuses before you hear him move to another location, somewhere much quieter.

“How many times do I have to thank you for being an absolute saint?” Your voice sounded so stuffed. The flu was getting to you really bad, but you were recovering well. But he chuckles into the receiver and you are flipping through each page he had printed before you fall onto your bed, sighing blissfully. “I’m serious, Joon. I’ll say it a million times if I have to.”

“You’ve pulled my weight when I was off doing council work so much. I’m sure if I got sick, you’d do the exact same thing. It’s what partners do.” Namjoon is smiling from ear to ear; he was glowing, and no one was there to really witness it. “I – um, did you see my note attached at the back?”

You are now flipping through the pages frantically until you see a handwritten sticky note that read: “We have a quiz on the Monday you come back. I’m free this weekend if you wanted to study with me.” And there was even a little smiley face attached to it and you are experiencing a whirlwind of emotions.

“You have got to be fucking with me.” You can feel the panic starting to bubble in the pits of your belly, but you were trying not to let it show. “You’ve already done so much for me. I can’t rob you of your weekend. It’s just – It’s just too much.”

“I’m happy to do it, Ace. I promise.” The guy deserved everything in the world because he was too generous for the world and you weren’t so sure what you did to deserve such kindness.

“Ace?”

He chuckles embarrassingly into the receiver, chewing on his cheeks. “I – uh, it’s a nickname. I hope you don’t mind.” Suddenly, butterflies erupt from your stomach and there is a glow on your cheeks that you are very much aware of and you are curling into your bed with a shit eating grin on your face.

“I – I like it.” You sigh and Namjoon leans on the wall as he observes the rest of his friends and council members enjoy slices of pizza, taking a well-deserved break from preparing for the pep rally event coming up next week.

“So, is that a yes to a study session this Saturday?”

“Yes.” Your voice is small and hesitant because it feels like you’re doing something wrong when you were just having a quiz session with your calculus partner.

“Great. My place or yours?”

Namjoon insisted on coming over to your place because you were still recovering. Coincidentally, your parents had the weekend trip away with your dad’s work colleague for a wine tasting event. You debated whether you wanted to tell Sena that Namjoon was going to be arriving in an hour, but you soon realize that she was out with her friend’s house for a movie night session.

You had the place all to yourself and you were relieved and frantic all at once.

You busied yourself the entire day to make yourself look decent; brushed hair, brushed teeth, clean face, and fresh clothes. You throw used tissues into trash bins, changed your sheets, and kicked all of your dirty laundry into your hamper that had fallen on the carpeted floors. As you are jogging downstairs, you discover you have no food in the fridge, so you’d probably have to order a pizza or something to share with Namjoon.

Immediately, you question why you are so desperate to make the place and yourself so presentable when this was a mere tutoring session with your calculus partner?

The doorbell ringing prompts you to peek through the peep hole and you see him; he is wearing a regular white t-shirt, jeans, and sneakers. He has his hoodie thrown over his shoulder as he begins texting a message on his phone, waiting for you to open the door for him.

When you unlock the front door and open the door for him, you smile timidly at him.

“Hi,” You greet him nervously.

“Hey, Ace.” He waves before he examines how you look. Despite your red nose and tired eyes, he missed seeing your face for a week; he really did. You stood awkwardly fiddling with your fingers and he can sense just how anxious you are, so he decides to tread lightly. “May I come in?”

His tone is so polite which effectively allows you to open the door wider for him to enter. You are nodding and you close the door shut behind him, ensuring that you have locked them. “I – um, I can’t really offer you anything to eat since my parents are out of town, but we can order pizza, if you want. It’s what my sister and I usually do.”

“I’m more than okay with pizza.” He permits and you nod and begin walking to the living room. “Will we be working here?”

“We can work anywhere.” You announce. The conversation is so light, and you hate how quick yet reluctant you are to your responses. “I – I can get you a glass of water, if you’d like. I’ll just get my things from upstairs and bring them down to the living room.” You inform him and he nods as he is making himself comfortable on the couch.

You are scurrying off upstairs to go get your materials and catching your breath because you think you were holding your breath the entire time. You’re stalling because you’re making a check list of every single thing you need for downstairs to avoid seeing him or talking with him. Just when you are about to exit, you see him at the bottom of the stairs. He is examining each family portrait on the wall.

Your face is hot because you can only imagine how terrible you looked like a child, so you jog downstairs with your study materials to gain his attention. “I never really realized how much Sena looks like your dad.” Namjoon comments and you stop in your tracks, only to examine the portrait he is looking at. “Exact same nose and smile.”

You purse your lips into a thin line because you are reminded once again that he is probably only interested in getting to know Sena – there was always that possibility. You were so familiar with this feeling of discussing your sister with other people because – yes, she is absolutely beautiful and intelligent and there was no denying it.

“But you are like your mother.” He comments as he takes a closer look at your mom who seems to be so much more youthful. “The way she’s smiling here looks so much like the way you smile.” He describes and you allow him to explain more by staying silent. “When you smile, your nose kind of crinkles and the corners of your eyes creases and your dimples are a lot more –”

Your throat seizes because you’re flattered and aware that he has perfectly examined your appearance and all the features in what he sees. He grows silent and he is chuckling nervously, scratching the back of his hand to distract himself.

“Sorry that was… super random.” Namjoon clears his throat, and you are shaking your head before you point towards the living room.

“I – I’m ready now.”

Now, you’re desperately hoping Sena doesn’t come home too early from her friend’s house.

Hours have passed since Namjoon have gotten you caught up with all of the materials and have assisted you through last week’s homework sheets. Namjoon was impressed with how you can keep up despite your recovering condition. One minute, you were sneezing and wiping your nose clean and, the next minute, you have your lips pursed and brows furrowed as you are writing equations down on a separate piece of paper.

“I got a question for you.” Namjoon begins and you are still too busy piecing everything together for a specific word problem you wanted to master.

“Shoot.”

“Are you always this focused?” You are typing things into a calculator before you are erasing things on your paper and you turn to look at him, showing him the calculator.

“Is this the right answer?” You ignore his question for a moment.

He nods and you grin at him before you proceed onto the next word problem.

“If I’m a week’s worth of lessons behind, yes, I’m focused all the time.” Namjoon is shaking his head and he is in awe at how you are so quick at writing all the information; he notices how neat your handwriting is too. Namjoon checks his watch and realizes just how late it has been and he clears his throat as he looks out the window to see the sun has gone completely down.

“Will your sister be coming home tonight?” Namjoon notices that you stop writing – you stop solving the word problem that you are tackling because you, suddenly, realize that he is asking about your sister.

“She’s probably still at a friend’s house or something.” He senses the atmosphere has changed and you shift your mind back to the practice problem right in front of you. “Why do you ask?”

“No reason – well, I honestly thought she should be taking care of her recovering sister.” You snicker at his statement.

“She’s a great sister, but she’s not that great.” You quip, biting your tongue at how ridiculous he sounded. “I think we can all agree that she’s smart, charismatic, and ambitious. I will admit she’s a really considerate sister too, but she thinks caring for her ill sister is a parents’ job – not hers.”

“Okay, okay, I get it she’s amazing but not… amazing.” He raises his hands to surrender and his words coming out of his mouth urged you to inquire about his relationship with her.

“If you think she’s amazing, why don’t you date her?” The words came spilling out of your mouth uncontrollably. Maybe it was the meds, you thought. You see the grin disappear from Namjoon’s face into utter confusion and he tilts his head for further clarification. “What I mean is that… you’ve known her and worked with her for so long and she’s a great girl – I’m obviously really biased considering she’s my sister, but you two would make a… great couple.”

You didn’t believe that you were talking about this to Namjoon. You didn’t think you would have the guts to discuss this with him, but the opportunity came up and you took it. But you are faced with such an unfamiliar emotion. True discomfort arises at the pit of your stomach as Namjoon’s brows furrow together and he is shaking his head with the same boyish grin he always flaunted to the world.

“Ace, she’s great, but I… honestly see her as a friend.” He isn’t so sure how many times he’s reiterated those words before. Because little did you know, so many people have asked the exact same thing. Peers and colleagues in their class were very much aware of Sena’s not so little crush on Namjoon for quite some time.

“Well, I mean, isn’t that how all relationships really start? Becoming friends and then possibly developing feelings for each other? Most people always see each other as friends until one of them is aware of the others’ feelings, right?” Your tone was so quizzical. You were treating this conversation like it required rationale and logical reasoning to tackle the issue at hand.

But this wasn’t a problem the mind can solve.

“That’s the usual circumstance, yes.” He admits and he sees that you resume back to the worksheet. “But I’ve known Sena’s had a thing for me and, quite frankly, I’ve been interested in someone else for a while, remember?”

“Someone far more interesting than Sena?” You are in disbelief. You are trying to eliminate other people in school who is on the same social standing as your older sister. “That’s… not possible.” You breathe.

“You’re wrong.” You stop writing because you are retracing your steps on the word problem you are solving. He finds it so endearing how you can’t seem to understand that he is utterly into you, but you are so lost in numbers.

“No, don’t tell me, Joon. I’ve told you this hundreds of times –” You lift your head to look at him to accentuate your reminder; you didn’t want to know what you wrong, you wanted to solve the problem yourself unless you demanded the assistance yourself.

Normally, Namjoon would comply with your request. It was so rare for him to point out your mistake, but he figured this was the perfect time to do so.

“You’re so stubborn.” He breathes before he dives in.

You don’t complete your sentence. Because when you turn your head to look at him with pleading eyes, you are met with his pillowy petals on yours. Your cheeks heat instantaneously, and you can feel your heart leap from your chest.

His kisses were soft and slow. You don’t realize that he has already cupped your cheeks. You’ve never kissed anyone ever before but, for some reason, it was like you knew how to move your mouth against his. He was gentle but there was a certain control he possessed. You pull away momentarily to breathe and, suddenly, you feel the heat of his tongue swipe on your lower lip. A shuddered whimper leaves your mouth before you are regrettably pulling away from addiction.

“N – no, that’s not possible.” You’re still in denial from the events that occurred. “Sena – she’d be so… betrayed if she –” Your brain is glitching and it didn’t help that you can taste the mint of his lips on yours.

“Listen, Ace, for one moment stop thinking about Sena and answer me honestly.” Namjoon positions his body to look straight onto you. “Do you feel the same way I do or not?”

“I don’t – I don’t know.” You shrug before avoiding his eyes. “I – I shouldn’t like you.” You sigh defeated and you are covering your face. You were ashamed not because you like him, but because you didn’t understand what you were really feeling, and you didn’t understand what you wanted to do. “Why – why do you like me?”

“You’re hardworking and incredibly intelligent.”

“I know plenty of other girls who are… exactly the same.”

“Your tastes in book are impeccable. You’re selfless to a degree that I can’t quite comprehend. You keep to yourself, but when you speak your mind, it leaves a lasting impression. Listen, YN, I can keep going, but you can’t… keep doubting my feelings for you.” Namjoon justifies and it was a tough pill to swallow.

You were too stunned to say anything. Too many emotions flooding your brain and it took too long for it to process, so you remained expressionless. Namjoon found it incredibly difficult for him to read your face.

“Ace, it’s really hard to tell how you’re feeling right now.” He points out and you understand just how awkward you sat there; head spinning with so many things to say but very little coming out of your mouth.

“I – I don’t know what you want me to say.” You admit. “I’m not sure what you’re expecting out of me with a confession like this. If I don’t feel the same way, what would’ve happened? If I do feel the same way, what – what was I supposed to do?”

“Well, for starters, do you actually feel the same way as I do?”

“I – I do.” You croak to respond to his inquiry. “I – I don’t think I’ve ever admitted that to myself either, but… I think I like you.”

A wave of relief washed over Namjoon, but there’s a bit of relief for you too. It’s out in the open now, and you know that there’s nothing really you can do about it. There’s a very content grin plastered right across his handsome face, but it slowly transforms into a frown as he realizes that, despite your feelings for each other, nothing will change between the both of you.

“Namjoon, we can’t be anything more than friends.” You realize the unfortunate circumstances the both of you were in. “It’s not fair to my sister. I don’t think it’s very fair to make me choose between you and my sister. I – I don’t think it’s very fair that… you’re in this position.”

Your heart swelled just moments ago, and you can feel it crumble into pieces as the words come spilling out of your lips.

“I understand.” He agrees softly and you perk up at his acquiescence. “I’m not going to force you to be in that position, Ace.” The reassurance softens your tense form, and his fingers cradle your chin, lifting up to be at eye level with you.

“But when you’re ready to reconsider... us, I’ll be waiting.”

↪ Please stay tuned for the next part!

[hawksky]

The Conspiracy Theories JJK Characters Believe

A/N: I stand by every single one of these. banner gif courtesy of gifcities.org love the internet archive long time.

CW: slandering america ? please fill my askbox to yell about it

Gojo - Flat Earther 

It’s a tried and true conspiracy, massive following, in the moment

he really does it more to fuck with people than actually believing it

he insists he’s basically a god so he would know

he tries to bond with bb megumi by talking about it

megumi get’s a sour look on his face and walks away from his dinner (he won’t eat anything gojo gives him for a week)

no one ever notices, but Shoko eggs him on for her own entertainment

he slowly starts to believe it

Yuji - Avril Lavigne has died & been replaced

he watched a youtube video about it and honestly they made some good points

because her late career really wasn’t adding up for him

please don’t bring this up around him, he’s actually genuinely upset about she was his first celebrity crush (the complicated video really did it for him)

when it does come up it says it with sincerity as if it’s accepted fact that everyone believes in

will not listen to anyone who tries to correct him, assumes they just hadn’t heard the news

sidenote he knows all the words to girlfriend

Megumi - JFK assassinated by the CIA / MLK assassinated by the FBI

at first he doesn’t believe in any conspiracy theories and thinks you’re uneducated if you do

spent years bullying gojo for his shit mfer can basically fly and says its flat

he gets into reading cold war history books, especially ones on newly declassified files

learns about US interventions in other countries for the slightest issues

and honestly? is it that far fetched? the US has done worse on less grounds

he doesn’t discuss this with anyone because he has a reputation to uphold and knows how crazy he’d look

but they just don’t understand, they don’t know what he knows these brutes don’t fucking read

Geto - Area 51

ok boomer

it’s not that he believes in literal aliens but he does believe something strange is going on

he chalks it up to there being an out sized amount of curses in the area

his understanding of the conditions in america, and especially nevada ? yeah he imagines people are pretty miserable causing a lot of cursed energy

middle of the desert and selling your body to the military on top of that? oof

debates visiting himself to check it out and collect some of the curses

gojo grumbles about how boring it is that he dismissed aliens

Inumaki - Big Foot

it’s not that he believes its real

more that he wishes it was real (same vibes as all of us cdns with house hippos)

he can say things and make them happen, maybe if he thinks hard enough it will ~ manifest ~

NO ONE is aware he thinks this

honestly he’s kinda hurt that when other people talk about their theories they don’t ask about his :\

Kamo - Mount Rushmore isn’t real

ik this isn’t an accepted conspiracy theory but i’m always shocked to remember this is a real thing that exists ??? even more fucked those hills are sacred to indigenous people

literally just thinks its disgusting people would desecrate nature for patriotism

he’s so disgusted by it he refuses to believe anyone actually did that

this leads him to refuse to consume any american based media

Yuta - Japan is the only country with four seasons

he was taught it in school

who is he to argue with a teacher ???

went to morocco, definitely only summer, confirmed

he’s the only one of the jujutsu tech kids that has travelled and he’s so believable so it’s never questioned

Nanami - No.

he doesn’t believe in any. even the craziest things he can talk about are all backed by three different sources

it’s not his fault no one else has heard of these things

don’t test him he will pull receipts

fuck around and find out

@sandyscastle @nokkusu​  @megumifushi

[pterodactylterrace]

Guys Like You Chapter 15

Title: Guys Like You

Chapter: 15

Chapter Summary: "Two lines means pregnant, right?"

Rating: 18+

Warnings: Mentions of pregnancy, miscarriage, illusions to smut and a shitty ex, swearing.

{Prologue} {Chapter 1} {Chapter 2} {Chapter 3} {Chapter 4} {Chapter 5} {Chapter 6} {Chapter 7} {Chapter 8} {Chapter 9} {Chapter 10} {Chapter 11} {Chapter 12} {Chapter 13} {Chapter 14}

Everything seemed so similar to how it was the first time, years ago. The pit in her stomach, her pulse pounding in her ears. The feel of the wrapper when she opened it, the awkward positioning, wondering if she managed to soak it for the required amount of time, the unpleasant task of putting the cap back on the stick to keep urine from getting on anything else. All the same as the last time.

This time however, she also bore the scars from the previous experience. How her hopes had been crushed, how she'd been cast aside. She'd thought he would have been happy for some reason. He didn't use protection, so that meant he must have wanted to build a family with her, right? She had learned that wasn't the case. He was just a selfish prick. She'd waited for an ultrasound, just to fully confirm the life she had inside of her. She'd been thrilled to learn there were two of them. Twins, just like the rest of her family! He'd thrown the picture in the trash the second he realized what it was. He wanted nothing to do with her anymore. She was used goods. Worthless. Trash, just like the picture of her babies.

Now though, her boyfriend was waiting just outside the bathroom door. It had taken some urging to get him to leave the room, actually. It would seem the manner in which the test had to be taken had slipped his mind. An awkward staring contest had ensued before Faye had quietly asked him to leave so she could pee. A rare luxury she had as a mother, to be perfectly honest. He was quick to grant her some privacy after that.

She placed the plastic stick face down and scrubbed her hands thoroughly, wasting as much time as she could before she had to to open the door. Henry was waiting just outside, as he had promised, an unreadable expression on his face. Of course he would keep his emotions hidden for now. He was an actor, after all. No sense in letting her know how much he was freaking out as well, right?

"Well?" Henry asked softly, his hand automatically reaching out for hers, needing to feel her skin on his.

"It takes a couple of minutes to work..."

"Are you alright?" Henry asked softly, gently cupping her jaw and tilting her head to look up at him. Concern. A look she hadn't been accustomed to all those years ago.

"I don't know... I'm scared."

"I'm so sorry I put you in this situation." Henry apologized, carefully pulling her close and wrapping his arms around her. He needed to hold her in that moment, possibly even more than she needed to be held.

"I know you didn't mean to... It's just... well I told you about the last time."

"I'm not him, darling." Henry assured, resting his cheek on her head. "I'm not going anywhere."

"I know, and I keep telling myself that. It's just hard to forget what happened before. For some reason, I thought he would have been happy. I should have known better, honestly. He never thought about anyone but himself."

"I can promise you, I would be incredibly happy to raise more children with you, if that's what you want. If you decide you don't want anymore, that's fine. I'll just have to settle for spoiling Briar even more to make up for it."

"I always pictured myself having a few kids. After having to go through my entire pregnancy alone and the miscarriage, and then having to raise Briar by myself, though... it wasn't easy. It made me wonder if I was even meant to be a mother."

"You're a fantastic mother, Faye. Briar thinks the world of you, and you've done an excellent job raising her, but you don't have to do it alone anymore."

"It's got to be done by now... can you go check it?" Faye asked hopefully.

"Together?" Henry asked, slipping past Faye to grab the stick.

"No, just tell me." Faye requested, chewing the inside of her lip nervously.

"Uhh... two lines means pregnant, right?"

"What?" Faye yelped, staring at him like a deer caught in headlights.

"I'm just looking at the key! There's only one line!" Henry quickly corrected, his eyes going wide when he'd realized his mistake.

"Oh my God,  you asshole!" Faye groaned, throwing her arms around his middle and hiding in his chest.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you like that." Henry apologized, tossing the stick back onto the counter and holding her close.

"I'm so mad at you!" Faye whimpered, her voice muffled by his shirt.

"Would putting on your pretty new dress make you feel better?" Henry offered, smiling to himself at Faye's slow nod. "Then let's both get cleaned up. The sitter should be here in an hour, and I don't think answering the door wet and wearing nothing but a towel is a good first impression."

"You'd kill the poor girl if you did that." Faye snorted, tilting her head back and resting her chin against his chest.

"We need her to live. Someone has to watch Briar while we got get unreasonably drunk."

"Planning on drinking a lot tonight, my love?" Faye asked, raising a brow at him.

"Oh we are both definitely drinking tonight. It's a celebration and you've just been given the go ahead for drinking."

"But if we're both drunk, who's going to be the responsible one?'

"That's why we're hiring a sitter. We can both be irresponsible, at least for one night."

"Fine, but I'm taking the first shower." Faye sighed, pulling away and slipping down the hall, giving Henry a confused look when he followed right after, already stripping his shirt off the second he got into their bedroom. "What do you think you're doing?"

"Playing lifeguard." Henry taunted, shooting her a shit eating grin.

"Is that a polite way of saying jacking off while I'm showering?"

"Well you could always lend me a hand." Henry offered, already working on his belt.

"We only have an hour before the sitter gets here!"

"That forty five minutes more than I need." Henry growled, shoving the rest of his clothing down his legs, kicking them off, and snatching her up.

Faye felt the need to point out that his estimation of fifteen minutes had been a bit lean. It was almost half an hour before they reemerged from the bathroom. Henry tried to argue that they spent some of the time actually bathing, though he knew it was a pointless debate. All it took was Henry taking her dress from the closet, still in it's protective bag and laying it on the bed for her to drop the subject entirely.

"It's so pretty!" Faye sighed as she unzipped the bag, running her hands over the soft fabric. It was a soft grey dress, the skirt made of tulle and a structured corset like top to it. Henry had insisted she go with the grey after she'd tried on numerous other colorful options. All the color suited her bright personality, but clashed with her already brightly colored hair, and took away from the shimmer in her smile and the wide innocence she held in her eyes. In the grey, she shined. She was the center of attention instead of what she was wearing. It enhanced all of her wonderful qualities instead of competing with them. Henry had no doubt she would be the one on everyone's minds tonight.

Most of the drive there was spent with Henry trying to coach Faye on what to do. He knew how terrifying everything could be, and he knew people would have a lot of questions, mostly about who she was. He instructed her to just keep her eyes on him to avoid being overwhelmed by the crowd and the flashing cameras. He didn't expect her to talk to anyone, and advised against saying anything to anyone that was recording or looked like any type of journalist, especially without him there. He knew they tended to twist words and make mountains out of molehills, and he didn't want any more stress on her than necessary.

None of it felt real until the driver finally came to a halt, Faye spying the waiting crowd for the first time. Sure, she had been expecting some people. It was the season two premiere of a Netflix hit show. She just didn't know it would be this many. She wasn't a fan of crowds at the best of times. Now, she was debating on just having the driver take her back home.

"Eyes on me." Henry reminded her, smiling brightly when her brown doe eyes met his blue gaze. "None of that matters, it's just us." He assured, taking a slow deep breath which Faye mirrored before his door was opened and he stepped out, shooting a charming smile at the crowd as he buttoned his suit coat, the flashes of the cameras temporarily blinding him.

He turned back around and offered Faye his hand, seeming to relax more himself when she delicately rested her hand in his and slid from the car. Just as he expected, the cameras picked up into an absolute frenzy, everyone eager to get a picture of the mystery woman accompanying Henry Cavill at such an important event.

Brushing off their questions was easy enough for Henry, simply replying with "She's gorgeous, isn't she?" Whenever anyone asked who she was and moving along. That did nothing to quell the 'news' stories that popped up later that night and into the next day, all calling for who this mystery woman was and what her relationship to Henry was, however.

He had happened upon it by chance, just scrolling through his newsfeed on Facebook. It wasn't the title that caught his attention, however. It was the picture of her face, that bright smile he'd only seen in old pictures and those same wide eyes, now locked on someone else like he was the only man in the world. She thought she could just move on like that? Didn't that idiot know she was used goods? Nothing but a whore that would try to trap him into something for the rest of his life.

"That bitch!" He hissed, feeling his blood boil. Did she really think she could get away with embarrassing him like this? Going around and flaunting what being a whore could do for someone? No, he wasn't going to allow it. She was his, and it was time she stopped all of her nonsense and came back.

Taglist: @Xxxkatxo @Weallhaveadestiny @lunedelorient @summersong69 @mis-lil-red @lharrietg @amberangel112 @mansaaay

[anotheronechicagobog]

Functional Dysfunction - Rheese - Chapter 5 - It Isn’t Salad

written by @anotheronechicagobog

warnings: swearing, mention of abortion, mention of attempting to force abortion, unplanned preganancy, Connor and Robin are still together, Jimmy is still an ass, but now so is Chilli

The next day everyone was acting weird around her. Manning and Maggie were now running away from her, Halstead couldn't meet her eyes, Choi pretended to take a phone call when they were alone in the doctor's lounge, and Doris was completely silent. That never happened. She gossiped about anything and everything, until now Sarah hadn't believed there was a force on earth powerful enough to shut her up. 

A distraction came in the form of a mass casualty structural collapse at a construction site. Injured workers flooded in, while Sarah and Choi were tasked with going to the scene and treating people in the field. It was Sarah's first time working like that. So far it had only been fully stocked EDs or ORs with copious amounts of staff ready to jump into action. Here there were limited supplies, limited staff, and unlimited chaos.

So far the building they were constructing was a small five-story apartment building, it didn't have any walls or floors, it was just metal beams and underlying structure. Half of the crossbeams had just... Come off, taking the workers that were on them, towards the concrete foundation, where other workers were. It was a grizzly, awful site. There were going to be so many casualties, no doubt about it. She reached her first patient, a woman no older than twenty, whose arm was being crushed by a beam near the shoulder. It was purple. She had to amputate.

Red tag, red tag, black tag, red tag, black tag, black tag, black tag, red tag, green tag, black tag, red tag.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She hadn’t eaten in ten hours and there were two more action-packed hours left in her shift. While she was finally back in the hospital, she couldn’t help but feel like she was still at the disaster site. One wrong move, one wrong word, and tragedy would occur. Of course at Gaffney it would be social tragedy, but still, she felt like she was navigating a mine field. She’d been on her feet non-stop since her shift started and she was feeling more mentally drained than physically drained. The other interns looked at her the way she imagined vultures would, beady eyes looking at your dying soul, ready to devour your corpse. Except... She wasn’t dying. She was in perfect health, it was apparent that they thought her career was about to be drop-kicked into an active volcano. Boy were they in for a surprise.

“Dr. Reese, scrub up, I need you in the OR with me.” Chad Dovingly, the resident “legacy” intern, almost yelled at Dr. Abrams, but Sarah watched him stop himself. “Sam-”

“Do not call me by my first name, I don’t know how many times I have to tell you that. Call me ‘Dr. Abrams’ or don’t speak to me at all.”

“Right, right, my apologies. Dr. Abrams, are you sure that Dr. Reese is the right choice? I mean, I was literally born to be a surgeon, I was in the top ten at my med school, and Dr. Reese, well... Is this because she’s pregnant-”

“Stop. Talking. You may have been in the top ten of your class, but she was the first in hers. She has shown far more dedication and skill than any of you here, and I will not stand here while you not only accuse me of favouritism, but belittle your colleague and fellow intern because of a matter that is absolutely none of your business. The reason you aren’t scrubbing in as much is that you’re not good enough to yet, so if you want to scrub in more, prove to me that you’re worthy of it, because honestly so far Dr. Reese and Dr. Kim are the only ones who have done so.” He dismissed the other interns with only a head nod, leaving the two of them alone in the hallway. “Dr. Reese, the surgery is in two hours. Read up on the procedure and eat something, then meet me in OR four.” The confusion must have been displayed on her face so he sighed and pulled her to the side away from the other interns. “Dr. Manning cornered me earlier and informed me that you’ve been on your feet all day, and you’re going to be staying late. So eat something and then join me in the OR.”

“Oh, okay, I’ll see you in two hours then.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She had a sandwich in her bag, but she doubted that the cold cut meats would still taste good after all this time. She debated going to the cafeteria but at this time all that would be available was heavy fast food. “Sarah?”

“Hi Dr. Manning, don’t worry Dr. Abrams ordered me to eat something before I join him in the OR.”

“Good. I was actually coming to get you, we ordered pizza down in the ED and I was wondering if you wanted to join us?”

“Something tells me you’re not going to take ‘no’ for an answer.”

“A correct assumption, come on it should be here by now.”

They were almost at the doctor’s lounge when Sarah couldn’t ignore the need to ask anymore. “... You know, don’t you?”

“Yes. We all do. I’m sorry that we’ve been avoiding you all day, we just didn’t want to ruin the surprise.”

“What sur-”

“SURPRISE!” Sarah jumped out of her skin and then looked around the lounge. There was a shiny blue ‘congratulations’ banner along the back wall, streamers taped to the ceiling and a stack of pizza boxes on the table. “We want you to know that we’re here for you and that we’re happy for you. I know that you don’t have a lot of time, she needs to scrub up at OR four in... one hour and fifty-one minutes, but celebrate with us a little now, we just want to make sure that you feel supported.”

“And that you eat, no one needs you fainting in an OR.”

“Thank you, all of you, so much... I really appreciate this, I was pretty scared at first, I still am, but I’m confident in my decision.”

“Trust me, we know Sarah.” Puzzled, she looked around at her co-workers and found them all snickering in the direction of Connor and Robin. Connor blushed and lowered his head with anawkward smirk while Robin rolled her eyes. “Doris tried to talk smack and I can honestly say that I have never seen someone get verbally eviscerated so viciously. Showed all of us not to mess with Robin.” Everyone around her chuckled and seemed to unanimously agree with Maggie. “Thanks.”

“No problem, Sarah. Besides I think it was about time someone knocked her down a peg. I mean, I know that gossip is just a part of hospital life, but she just takes it to a whole other level.”

Maggie and Nat were the least tense around her since this whole thing started, Choi and Halstead just seemed relieved that there wasn’t anything wrong with her, April and Noah just seemed content to make her laugh as loud as possible, Robin made sassy quips about the two of them sticking together, and Connor just made sure she always had pizza on her plate. They exchanged a smile when he made sure that she was the first one to eat ‘I know that it’s not salad but it’s still pretty good’. Sarah couldn’t have been more delighted to see Connor moving more freely, lighter, with an enormous weight having been removed from his shoulders.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

The surgery... Did not go well, but it wasn’t anyone’s fault thankfully. Their patient had the largest tumor she’d ever seen in the centre of their brain and when Dr. Abrams removed it, it looked horrifying to be frank. There was literally a hole in this poor man’s brain which unfortunately resulted in brain damage. It was a serious risk from the beginning, so the patient and family had been informed numerous times in the days leading up to and of the surgery. Delivering that news had been assigned to Sarah and she was not looking forward to it. She left the recovery suite where the patient has just been examined after waking up and went to the waiting room where his husband was waiting along with his twin sister were after Dr. Abrams told them to wait while they examined him. “How is he?”

“He’s okay, right?”

“I am so sorry to tell you this, but he did sustain significant brain damage and it’s very likely that it’s permanent. There’s also a possibility that he could... Pass away due to the severity.” The second that the word ‘sorry’ was out of her mouth they both broke down in tears, holding onto each other for dear life. “You can see him, if you want, and I can explain a few things. Dr. Abrams will check on him again tomorrow at seven am, to give him more time to improve-”

“So, he could get better, my brother could recover.”

“I need to stress that while that is a vague possibility, it is incredibly unlikely, and I don’t want to get your hopes up. I’m so sorry.”

“... Can you take us to him? Or at least me? I totally understand if you can’t see him yet, he’s your twin, but... We- He’s the love of my life. I need to see him.” Sarah nodded and gestured for them to follow her, she wasn’t sure if his sister would at first, but she did, with a far-off, grave look in her eyes. Sarah tried not to think about it, after all, this poor woman was just told her twin brother suffered brain damage and would probably never be the same again, she was allowed to react however she needed to. Still... Sarah couldn’t help but feel like foreshadowing had taken physical form, like her patient’s sister knew more than she was saying. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sarah had forty minutes left in her shift when alarms started blaring. She knew before she even turned around who it was and what the outcome would be. Despite being in her usual ‘crap someone’s dying’ speed her ankles felt like lead, and her soul had stayed at the computer she was working on. Her mind was still there, still searching her head for the best course of action before conducting it, giving orders to nurses, telling someone to get his loved ones out of the room, and shouting for someone to page the on-call neurosurgeon... But it was no use. And from the way everyone was looking at each other that this was the outcome they expected. “Time of death, 21:37.” Her voice felt so out of place, the vibrations her thoat made were irritating. The late patient’s fiance and sister were in the doorway. He was sobbing so inconsolably, so loud, it made Sarah’s heart clench. She however, looked numb, like a part of her just died. She looked Srah dead in the eyes and Sarah’s heart broke all over again. She’d known. “I’m so sorry for your loss.”

“Thank you Dr. Reese... I know that you and Dr. Abrams did everything you could. Could- could we have a moment with my brother? To say... Goodbye?”

“Of course.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When she finally left the hospital she was in tatters. She wasn’t sure if it was the pregnancy hormones or if it was her patient’s death, but all that she really wanted to do was cry. No, she needed to cry. Sadness and despair was bubbling up inside of her and she just didn’t want to keep it inside her. But of course the universe had other plans. When she finally made it to her car the last two people she wanted to see were standing beside it and sitting on it. She sighed, on the verge of tears and not in any mood to deal with either of them. “Jimmy. Chilli.”

“We need to talk.”

“We don’t actually. We really, really don’t. You don’t want to be involved and that’s fine. When they’re born we’ll do a paternity test because that’s what’s required for you to sign away your rights, and then you’ll do just that, and then you’ll walk away. It’s okay.”

“No it’s not. I’m not okay with you having my baby.”

“And I’m not okay with it either, he’s my... Boyfriend and I don’t want another chick to have his child.”

“Okay, first of all, neither of you get a say and whether or not I have this child. My body, my decision, that’s it. Second, Chilli, you have absolutely no say here in anything. You are not the mother or the father and I’m not even sure if you guys are dating given your hesitation in calling Jimmy your ‘boyfriend’ and you have such a volatile on/off relationship, you get zero say in anything even remotely related to my baby.”

“HEY! DON’T TALK TO HER LIKE THAT-”

“Speak to me like an adult or don’t speak to me at all. You don’t get to yell at me, you don’t get to use that tone with me, it’s not okay.”

“I CAN SPEAK TO YOU HOWEVER I WANT! AND YOU ARE GETTING AN ABORTION EVEN IF I HAVE TO DRAG YOU THERE MYSELF!” In the next three seconds Sarah observed three things:

There were two of them and one of her

They were in a dimly lit, poorly monitored parking garage alone

They had to deal with violent people at their jobs more than she did and would likely overpower her

“The hell she is! She made her choice Borelli and you didn’t get a say in it!” Okay, so #2 was not true apparently, as Connor walked closer to them from the entrance. “This isn’t any of your business doc, so just go, okay?”

“You’re threatening my friend in a dark parking garage. Yes, it is my business. But it isn’t yours, you’ve said that you don’t want to be a dad, so you won’t be, and I don’t even know why Chilli is here, so you two need to get off of Sarah’s car and leave her alone.”

“No. We don’t have to listen to you. I’ll talk to her however I fucking want, I don’t have to move away from her car, and Chilli doesn’t have to get off it. Fuck. Off.”

“Connor, you worked a long shift, you shouldn’t have to stay for this, I’ll figure it out.”

“I appreciate the thought Sarah, but you worked a long day too and I’m seriously worried about your safety around them. Why don’t I just drive you home? It really isn’t a big deal.”

“If you’re sure.”

“I am-”

“HEY! DON’T TALK ABOUT US LIKE WE AREN’T HERE! AND THIS ISN’T ANY OF YOUR BUSINESS!”

“Oh, go suck an egg, Borelli. Lead the way, Connor.”

“Gladly.”

They’d managed to make it to his car before the, quite honestly delusional, couple(?) realized they were seriously leaving, and Connor was pulling away with them shouting expletives and trying to chase the car on foot. “Thanks Connor, I really appreciate this.”

“Anytime Sarah, seriously. I care about you, you’ve become someone I trust and I want you to be safe and happy. I’ll help to make that happen if you ever need it.” Maybe it was the hormones, the encounter with Jimmy and Chilli, or the day just catching up with her, but she just couldn’t keep the exhaustion and gratitude out of her voice. “Thank you.”