#my god y’all should watch this I was dying

[livyjh]

Come Sail Away ch.2

Bff’s dad!Joel Miller x Plus size!Fem!Reader

Series rating: EXPLICIT 18+

Chapter 2 rating: PG-13

Word count: 2.6k

Summary: Your spring break has been saved by your roommate and best friend, Sarah Miller. She’s invited you to come on vacation with her and her dad, a man you’ve never met. But you didn’t think twice before accepting her invitation. When you finally meet her dad, Joel, you have an instant crush on him. You thought it was one sided… he proves you wrong.

Chapter warnings: being silly, little touches, sensual eye contact, the male gaze, drinking alcohol, being drunk, mentions of body parts, Sarah being a bad friend for a few hours, embarrassing yourself, flirting, rejection, throwing up, walking around without shoes.

A/N: I’m just gonna post every chapter after I finish it. So it may be inconsistent but I wanna give y’all more story!! I’m so excited for you to read this chapter. Trust me, you’ll wanna read the next one too.

Series Masterlist

Joel Miller Masterlist

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You, Sarah, and Joel got a drink at the bar on the main deck before going down a couple decks to your rooms that were right across from each other.

Joel had an outside room with a small balcony, you and Sarah were going to share an inside room.

You all toured the small rooms together, hanging out in Joel’s stateroom until the captain called for everyone to go to their assigned lifeboat areas for emergency preparedness procedures.

It was boring and you and Sarah were making little remarks and jokes during most of it but you got all the important information.

After that, everyone was free to move about the ship.

“Let’s go to the upper decks to watch while we sail out of the port.” You suggest with a smile.

“Great idea. And more drinks.” Sarah giggles.

“You two are gonna be a handful aren’t you?” Joel laughs.

“We’re adults that can handle themselves, dad. Don’t worry.” Sarah patted his back and you three went to the elevators to go up a few decks.

Once you got to the right floor, you went to the outdoor bar and restaurant where there was a great view off the front of the ship.

You each got a frozen piña colada before sitting in some of the beach chairs around the pool.

“We’ve gotta lounge out here tomorrow. Get some sun.” You turn to Sarah with a smile.

“Oh, one hundred percent.” She laughs and nods.

Sarah is sat between you and Joel, the sun shining as it got lower in the sky.

“What should we do first, ladies? Dinner?” Joel sits up a little to look at you both.

“Oh my god, yes.” You nod.

“I’m starving.” Sarah puts a hand on her stomach.

“Me too.” You and Joel say in unison, making you blush while he huffs a small laugh.

You three get up and go up one deck to the buffet, filling your plates with delicious food before finding a table to sit at.

You eat and then do a little more exploring with Sarah, Joel got tired after dinner and went back to his room. You’ll miss the smell of his cologne.

You and Sarah find out that there’s not only a karaoke bar on the ship, but a casino, 5 restaurants, and an adults only pool area with 4 large hot tubs.

This was going to be the best vacation ever.

***

The next morning you girls met Joel for breakfast at the buffet and talked about what to do that day.

“There’s a music trivia contest at 1 at the lounge on the top deck. I really want to go to that.” Sarah smiled.

“Let’s do it.” Joel nods. “You in?” He looks at you.

“Of course.” You smile and take a peak at Joel’s collarbones peaking out of his cute button up shirt.

“Good.” Sarah sighs happily. “Oh, and pool time, right, Y/n?”

“Yes please. I’m dying for some vitamin D.” You groan.

“I bet you are.” Sarah snorts a laugh and it makes your face warm, you notice Joel trying to keep staring down at his plate like he didn’t hear anything.

You finish breakfast and then tour the gift shop, play slots for a little while at the casino, and then head up to the rooftop lounge.

You could really feel the ship moving up there, it was making you a little dizzy. Sitting down at a table helped.

“Welcome to trivia!! Today’s category is music from the eighties!” A short man with a microphone at the front of the room caught everyone’s attention.

“This is gonna be a blast. We’ve got this.” Joel held up both his hands to high five you and Sarah.

You each slapped one of his hands and a woman brought a paper and pen to your table.

The paper had a space for a team name and then 10 blank lines for naming songs. You three had a short conversation before deciding on the team name: The Texas Rangers.

“You’ll be getting audio clues today! We’ll play a short clip of the song and you write down your guess.” The host smiled to everyone. “Whichever team has the most correct answers will win on-board credit of $50 per person.”

“Song number 1.” He looked at the woman who had passed out the papers. She was now standing at an entertainment system with a computer. She clicked a button and music began.

Upbeat synth played over the speakers and you all instantly knew what it was.

Sarah began writing, ‘Take On Me’. The music stopped after a few seconds.

“Alright, that was an easy one.” The host began. “The second song will be a little harder.”

A heavily mixed electric guitar comes on with a rocking intro. You recognize it but for the life of you, you can’t remember what the song is.

“Wait, dad, what is it?” Sarah looks at Joel with a slight panic in her eyes.

“Never Let Me Down Again.” Joel points at the paper as he whispers to Sarah.

“Yes! Thank you. I could not remember what it was.” You roll your eyes at yourself.

“All good, honey.” Joel nods at you.

The song clip stops and the announcer continues. “Here’s number 3.”

“Jitterbug. Jitterbug. Jitterbug.” Then it cuts off.

“Easy.” You and Sarah say at the same time and she writes down ‘Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go’.

“I’m glad you were raised with good music too, Y/n.” Joel nudges you with his elbow.

It sends shivers down your spine and you almost can’t hide it. You laugh to disguise your body movements.

“Y- yeah. Yeah my parents love eighties music. I mean, I do too.” You shrug and tuck your hair behind your ear, a nervous tick you had.

The host kept going through all the songs. There were a couple tough ones in there. One of them Joel didn’t even recognize.

The female host walked around to collect papers to be tallied.

A few minutes later, the announcer got on the mic. “Alright. Our winning team is… The Texas Rangers!”

You clapped and Sarah let out an excited squeal, Joel smiling wide.

“Nine out of ten correct. Impressive.” The announcer nodded to your table. “Everyone else, better luck next time! We’ll see you again tomorrow for another round.”

The short man walked over after turning off the microphone and putting it away. “Good job, folks. May I see your room keys so I can credit that $50 to each of your accounts?”

You all got your room keys out and handed them to the man. He took out a phone with scanner attached, scanning each of your room keys. He pressed a few buttons and then handed the keys back.

“You’re all set!”

“Thanks.” Joel nods.

“This was fun.” Sarah adds.

“We should come back again.” You smile.

“Definitely… now, let’s go get drunk in our bikinis; poolside.” Sarah waggled her eyebrows. She turned to look at Joel. “Dad, you wanna come hang out at the pool with us?”

“I’ll catch up in a bit. You girls go ahead.” He smiles and wraps an arm around Sarah, kissing the top of her head.

“Have fun.” He smiled and winked at you, something he probably didn’t realize had any affect on you. Luckily you were about to go change into clothing that was meant to be wet.

“Thanks, Mr. Miller.” You smile and bat your eyelashes a little.

“Call me Joel, sweetie.” He put a hand on your shoulder. “No need to be so formal.”

Your body was radiating warmth throughout your shoulder where Joel was touching it. “Y- yeah. Sorry. Joel.”

He lifts his hand off your shoulder and gets up. “Don’t worry about it. See you two later.”

He walks away and leaves you in a whirlwind of feelings while he and Sarah are totally oblivious.

“Alright. Let’s go.” Sarah stands and pushes in her chair.

“I’m so ready to be drunk right now.” You laugh.

“Me too, bestie.” Sarah giggles.

***

You and Sarah are sitting poolside working on your third or fourth drinks when Joel appears on the other side of the deck.

Sarah spots him and flags him over. “Dad! Over here!” She points to the open lounge chair on the other side of you, it being the only open one nearby.

You were in your sexy two piece bikini, something you felt more confident in with every drink.

Joel walks over and greets you both. “Hey, glad y’all are still here. I fell asleep for a bit when I got back to the room. The waves are soothing.” He laughs.

He looks so fucking hot with sunglasses on. They’ve got a reflective blue tint on the outside and you can’t tell for sure but you think he keeps looking at you as he’s speaking.

He sets his towel and book down on the little table between your chair and his before he sits and leans back. He turns to you. “How’s the pool?”

“We haven’t gone in yet.” You answer softly.

Joel gulps and nods, turning away from you. “You two put sunscreen on?”

You nod at him and he leans forward to look at his daughter. “Sarah? Sunscreen?”

“Yes dad…” she sighs. “We should probably reapply though. There’s no cloud cover.”

You nod in agreement and get up. You grab your can of spray sunscreen and start with your arms. You spray it on and then rub it into your skin, next was your stomach and chest.

You’re too tipsy to realize but when you spray your legs, you’re bent over, ass up, right in front of Joel.

When you stand up and turn back around to face your chair, you notice Joel’s towel is now covering his lap and his eyes are on you, no sunglasses.

Oh.

Oh.

Sarah was turned away this whole time and boy, did you give Joel quite the accidental show.

You lick your lips and let out a soft breath, staring at Joel’s face, his eyes busy running up and down your figure.

You both snapped out of it when Sarah’s flip flops scraped the pavement as she turned around. “Y/n, will you get my shoulders?”

Your brain is going a million miles an hour and you can’t form words right now. So a nod would have to do.

She thanks you and turns around. You spray her shoulders and rub it into her skin, stealing one more glance at Joel.

He gave you a small smile, one that was very shy compared to how he’d been looking at you a minute ago.

You and Sarah sat back down and you felt like you’d completely sobered up from that short moment.

“I need another drink.” You hum, holding your empty glass as you stand.

“Can you get me another piña colada, por favor?” Sarah hands you her empty glass.

“Of course.” You smile and head to the bar.

You get yourself a shot of vodka, taking it at the bar before bringing back a piña colada for you and Sarah each.

Joel eventually leaves for dinner, saying a quick goodbye.

Around 8pm, this cute guy comes over and sits in the now empty chair next to Sarah.

“Hey.” He smiles at her.

“Hey.” She grins back.

“I saw you from across the pool… you’re really pretty.” The man bites his lip.

Sarah laughs nervously. “Thank you… you’re very forward.”

“You like that?” He asks.

“I mean, yeah.” She nods.

“Well, then how about you and I go get dinner?” He leans over to look at you. “If it’s okay with your friend.”

Ugh. He really put you on the spot. You didn’t want Sarah to leave your side but you were also pretty drunk and wanted to get out of your bathing suit.

“Yes. She will meet you back here in half an hour. We’re not wearing real clothes.” You laugh.

“Thank you.” He smiles and then winks at Sarah. “See you soon.”

He leaves and Sarah looks at you with excitement and guilt. “You didn’t have to do that.”

“I know. But you deserve a vacation fling after all of your hard work at school this year.” You smile.

“Let’s go get changed.” She nodded.

***

Sarah tells you she may want to bring him back to the room for a bit later. You tell her you’ll stay out finding stuff to do till midnight.

After you’re both changed out of swimsuits, Sarah leaves for the pool again.

You leave the room not long after her to go explore the ship some more.

You end up getting a few more drinks throughout the night while participating in karaoke at the same place that the trivia was at earlier.

You give Sarah an extra half hour past midnight and then stumble back to the room. You knock lightly and wait a minute but don’t hear anything. You use your key card to unlock the door but when you turn the handle and push, you find that the deadbolt is locked too.

“Sarah?” You say through the door while knocking.

After a few minutes, you realize you’re too drunk and tired to keep doing this.

You turn around and knock on the new door in front of you.

When the door swings open, you find exactly who you’re looking for.

“Joel.” You smile.

“Hey, what’s going on?” He asks, rubbing his eyes.

“Oh shit… did- did I wake you up?” You slur.

“Not really.” He shakes his head. “Are you okay?” He looks you over.

“Yeah I’m just drunk… and I wanna go to sleep but your daughter brought a guest back to the room and I can’t get in.” You sigh.

“Come in, sweetheart.” Joel stands back and holds the door open.

You look at the space between him and the wall and you know you’re gonna rub against him as you pass by but you’re tipsy and you want it so you go ahead, faced away from him.

Your ass rubs against him as you pass by and head into the room. He closes the door and you go straight out onto the balcony for fresh, warm, night air.

“Oh my godddddd!” You nearly shout. “This feels soooo good.” You laugh.

“Y/n, be careful.” Joel follows you outside and helps you back in.

“Come on, let’s get you to bed.” His hand cups your elbow as he leads you.

Your breathing picks up and you snort. “I bet you’d like that, wouldn’t you?” You mumble.

“What?” He asks, now a little flustered.

“Nothing.” You sigh and kick off your shoes before crawling into the single king bed in his room.

“I think the couch turns into a bed.” He says, mainly to himself, as he pulls the blankets over you.

“Nooo, it’s fine. It’s fine. Don’t-“ you hiccup, “don’t wanna make you sleep on a fuckin- a fuckin couch bed.” You say, eyes half closed.

“Come cuddle up, Mr. Miller.” You smile.

He stares at you, cheeks turning pink. “This is inappropriate. You’re my daughter’s best friend.” He shakes his head.

There it is again. Another wildly sobering moment.

You sit up, chest and face heating up. You are so embarrassed. You swear he was like, sexually checking you out earlier… and now… oh god, you’re gonna puke.

You run to the bathroom and throw up until you can’t anymore, rinsing your mouth out before opening the bathroom door. Joel is standing right there.

“Are you okay?” He asks, eyes sad.

“Yes. I’m fine.” You quickly move past him and leave the room, walking out without your shoes.

He calls after you once but doesn’t chase you as tears start to run down your cheeks.

You end up going to the top deck lounge to fall asleep in a booth.

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Joel Miller taglist: @evyiione @chyannealaniz @cesspitoflove @supersingle @jrosie25 @blackfemalenerd @bongsrconfusing @milly-louise @farintonorth @brittmb115 @ashleyfilm @steverogers123

Join the tag list here.

[squirrellyshorrorreviews]

The VelociPastor (2018)

After losing his parents, a priest travels to China, where he inherits a mysterious ability that allows him to turn into a dinosaur. At first horrified by this new power, a hooker convinces him to use it to fight crime. And ninjas.

Where to watch: prime/tubi

Rating: Jesus/10

We love a good parody!

This move is hilarious. That “vfx car on fire” but is just as funny in actuality.

This movie was made in a WEEKEND and it’s just fuckin fantastic. I could do without the overt racism, but that sort of adds to the schlockiness.

It’s a delightfully fun way to burn an hour with friends.

“Why do they call me Frankie Mermaid?” “Because you’re swimmin’ in bitches!”

The commercials almost add to it.

I loved it, it was stupid, frenetic and weird. My watching companion, who is more a film enjoyer, enjoyed it less.

[kissmefriendly]

I had this friend a while ago who’s favourite word in English was ‘bubbles’ - it made her so delighted to say it, “Bubbles!” because it was such a cute word. So I said it all the time because it made her smile. My favourite word in Hungarian was ‘kicsi’ for much the same reason as it was just a delight to say.

Anyways, I’m homesick and kinda depressed and I’ve just written a 15-page script I’ve titled so creatively Kicsi Buborék.

[opennwindows]

If you can, could I request BEN Drowned fluff / smut headcanons like about himself, with his headcanon age, hobbies, facts, what he is into or would like & want in a relationship, and what he would be like with a gamer girlfriend/ s/o?

If ya taking requests rn still?✨😇😊💖

Ben Drowned general + NSFW hcs

A/N: yes!! absolutely. i love getting to talk about how the pastas do their pastaing in my mind. i have so many headcanons for everyone that im excited to share!! also sorry i forgot to include the gamer gf part but i don't think it would change a lot of what i wrote!!

btw sorry for fucking dying i have been busy 😭😭 but no one worry i will still continue to work on requests!! if anyone has any marble hornets stuff they wanna request i will zoom you to the front of the queue so fucking quick. anyways enough of me yapping.

cw: 18+ nsfw, toxic relationships, crying kink,

GENERAL

ben is mentally and physically 22, but he can be quite emotionally immature at times. when he died he never stopped growing and maturing, his soul was just stuck in limbo. think like the worst waiting room ever.

he's surprisingly tall, standing at about 5'9. he's lanky but not bone thin. could easily get pretty far in a fight without his ghost powers.

the link costume only appears when he’s in his ghost form. so for example, when he’s messing with someone on their computer he’ll appear as the canon BEN we’re most familiar with. when he’s just chilling in his physical body, he mostly wears beat up hoodies and sweatpants.

contrary to popular belief, ben's not the hardcore gamer everyone thinks he is. sure, he'll play some overwatch or whatever when he's bored but he honestly just prefers to watch tv and browse the internet. understandably REFUSES to play any zelda games. if you were trapped in a video game for decades would you ever wanna touch it again? exactly.

ben loves to draw little comics and troll (see: horrifically traumatize) people online. god forbid you get into twitter beef with this man because he will crawl through your monitor at 3am and leave you with a crippling fear of technology. dude thinks it's absolutely hilarious. a true knee slapper.

lowkey has a sugar addiction. will slam down 4 cans of pepsi in one sitting. he's very lucky that he's basically a ghost because the kidney stones would be plentiful.

ROMANTIC

you know that guy with the blown out speakers in his car, lives off of energy drinks and burnt blue razz ice elfbars, swears aphex twin is the modern mozart and works on the grill at your local wendy’s? yeah thats ben. or at least would be him if he was still human.

“why would you need a chair, my lap is literally right here babe.”

would absolutely wear your skin if given the opportunity. not in a weird way. he’s just EXTREMELY touchy.

he needs someone who is significantly more organized and motivated than him. he can go almost a week without showering and it should honestly be considered biological warfare when he tries to smother you with affection during these episodes.

after awhile of you guys dating he LOVES the idea of y’all showering together. he has a fear of water and while showers aren’t too much of a trigger, your presence helps ease his anxiety.

favorite pet names: bro, dude, dawg, babe, bitch (non derogatory)

not really a romantic but he tries his best. a perfect date for him is just getting some takeout, watching youtube, talking about stupid shit and play fighting. if you want something more traditional or extravagant then he’ll oblige to make you happy but those types of dates make him feel quite suffocated and nervous. try to save those for special occasions.

now let’s talk about his problems because just like the other creeps he is ANGSTY.

he’s probably the most emotionally stable and healthiest of the group but he definitely still has his toxic traits, after all this man is a ghost that mentally tortures and kills his victims through manipulation.

ben would never ever get physical with his partner no matter how enraged he is but he absolutely is the type to do some mental damage when he gets carried away. ben drowned? more like ben gaslighted.

the type to say some shit that would keep you up for years and then kiss you the next morning like the argument never happened. he finds it easier to ignore problems than to actively talk and fix them. you’re gonna have to teach him some important communication skills or else you’ll grow to resent him after all the bottled up rage.

a bit too brutally honest and blunt for his own good so if you have thin skin the relationship would fall apart pretty quickly. he wants someone who can drag him twice as hard as he dragged you. bonus points if your insults are consistently funny as hell.

please watch anime with him and discuss it. he would propose on the spot, especially if you play with his hair.

pro player tip: if you want him to clean his disgusting room, help him and make it fun! he just needs a little push and motivation at times. and being around you makes him want to get his shit together.

big fan of late night make-out sessions. i’m talking like 45 minutes straight of just slobbering on each other’s faces with tongues down throats. if you don’t want his hands running over every inch of your body then you’ll probably have to chain him to the wall.

NSFW

okay. so he’s a little inexperienced with his hands. he’s just a slow learner. be vocal with him about what you like!!

ben's about 7inches and slightly skinnier than average but he will have you seeing stars in record time. the dick game is no joke. he tends to go fast and deep most times.

i can see him being a switch in the idgaf-as-long-as-i’m-fucking way. dude will go with the flow and will try mostly anything.

definitely one of the least aggressive pastas during sex. he has sadistic tendencies but he’s more of a edge/overstimulate you until you cry versus a beat the shit out of you and rip hair out of your scalp type. he’s pretty vanilla given his occupation.

despite his love of roasting the fuck out of you on a daily basis, the only words that come out of this man’s mouth is heavenly praise. he looks at you like you’re the most gorgeous being on the planet and he’ll let you know it.

he loves to whisper praises into your ear while you ride him.

he's more of a receiver than a giver when it comes to oral. he'll absolutely spend hours between your legs if given the chance but nothing beats the sight of you on your knees and teary eyed with his length in your mouth.

he can be a bit of a head pusher but just let him face-fuck you every now and then, hearing his loud moans will be worth it.

did i mention how much of a crying kink this man has? you guys could be on round three and if he stares at your teary eyed fucked-out face for longer than 10 seconds he'll immediately get hard again. you'll have to beg him to give your poor body a break.

he's also into choking but only if he's the one doing it. if you try to restrict his breathing he'll panic and the mood would get ruined.

[whomstwedointheshadows]

I am howling at the sky for the look tonight that Harvey Guillén staked to death, spat on, and made it beg on the red carpet. Instead of just ranting to my queer fashion/fandom retail friends again, I took our collective slobber and tears to outline my plea to the fashion gods.

Why doesn’t this man have a ‘mens’wear line in every American mall? There is a gap in the market for adventurous, queer friendly suiting available through a retailer like Macys/J C Penney. Yes, retail is dying and wedding industry more so, but that’s particular to what’s available for consumers as well. Suiting is turned from off the rack into iconic by proper tailoring, but let me tell you from working all sides of the bridal salon, even up-scale clothing lines are getting rude as hell about quality and assembly to prevent tailoring and longevity.

This kid’s Disney charm would be perfect for introducing a plus size, inclusive line of fashion-forward pieces which include, say a QR code video about taking your own measurements, how adjustments work, with pieces designed to be sleek, with enough allowance for tailoring, and minding the lines in the garment to make the adjustments for plus size bodies easier. It’s no more adjustments than are made on straight size bodies, it’s just straight size bodies have more options to find a line which works with their natural shape.

But in my experience, it’s gender non-conforming folks and plus sized folks who get pushed out of finding pieces they can actually use for celebrations or work, much less pieces with actual personality that spark joy. This man has been killing it for years, really getting some clutch looks for events and invites in the fashion world. He’s showing proof of concept every time he steps in front of a camera.

Watching Harvey’s fashion evolution, I trust his fashion team and judgement to create a mid/high line for workwear to events suiting embracing a gender nonconforming audience. I can’t think of anyone better situated to become the ambassador of a brand with *the* formal wear for queer events and special occasions. I was tickled to see he sells his own merch and hope this experience convinces him of the joy working with artists and connecting their visions to a wanting public, dipping toes into the new ethical, sustainable trends in fashion. His looks alone shows he’s done his homework over the years about timelessness and early adopting trends.

For the years I worked selling/tailoring wedding dresses, there was the prophetic ‘someday… along will come the man who revives men’s fashion for events again’ to save the David’s bridal/men’s wear house lines who keep dropping plus sizes like mine and dying off. As the pet butch in the bridal salon I pleaded to the sky for better suiting options. Add that to my butch lezzy ways and trans masc circle of friends I legit spent this past Friday night drunk in a bar with a seam ripper adjusting jackets and darting pants in an unplanned sewing circle for a bachelorette until it was my round of karaoke. This isn’t the first time I’ve spontaneously started tailoring for the queers, I can’t keep up with the demand! Y’all we are in our twenties to mid thirties there should be better options than this that don’t require a vacation to LA/NY!!

I have ethical, sustainable fashion preferences about slipping in a retailer versus an online brand. But for the vision of accessible clothing to the masses pushing the envelope of the kind of quality only vintage pieces are affording the general public, this is the only celebrity really posed with the image, high energy, and bona fides to be the face of it. His connections in the fashion game are only growing as WWDITS wraps up.

If this man opened a pop-up suiting/fashion shop I’d take my limited time and resources to really dig in to the designers he promoted. I’d be howling in the streets for my celebrants to go get a Gullién. There’s no shortage online pattern makers, but there is a shortage of queer friendly shops to really get pieces that pop and it feels safe to enjoy in a retail environment. For average people wanting to engage with fashion that affirms their identity on their special day, there’s too much fucking compromise. Honestly it’s nice that I have a side hustle sewing to pattern, but I’d give it up in a fucking heartbeat for there to be actually sustainable and approachable options. I wish there was an in between of being ‘affordable’ gnc suiting in an American mall but add plus size availability and it gets sad for your most thrifty, creative friends. Someone needs the step in the gap, and why not someone at the top of the game?

Even if it was just a pop up line every few years, I’d fucking salivate over every image in that catalogue two thousand miles away for what it can teach home sewists just by virtue of curating those artisans with the express goal of queer, fat friendly designs playing together. Just the existence of vintage shops like Proud Mary creates a boom across the inter-webs of new sewists per post. Could anyone really imagine if there were actually accessible stores in key cities/supported by an online catalog with a personable, rising star as the brand face?

Please feed us more fashion, Harvey. Keep those stylists and designer friends close. Please. I cannot stress how many mascs/nb-bebes keep dropping your name every fitting consultation across this nation and it’s for good reason.

[witchwyfe]

touch tank | sh

| pairing: steve harrington x female reader

| précis: kissing ur best friend, friends 2 lovers, cursing, kissing, weed/smoking mention

| word count: 1,080

| an: y’all this SONG

“You know what would be like so weird?” You wonder, training your gaze on Steve’s ceiling fan.

“Huh?” He wonders, shoulder nudging yours.

His duvet is familiar under your back, the scent of his sheets and blankets more comforting than your own room. The warmth from his body bleeds into your own, radiating from his shoulder and hip, where he’s touching you. There’s not a person in the world you feel more comfortable around, safer. And maybe that’s the reason you don’t hesitate to share your thoughts with him.

“If we kissed.”

There’s a beat of silence, and your heart rate picks up slightly.

He swallows roughly, turning to look at you. You’re still looking up, waiting for him to say something.

“Did you smoke something earlier?” He wonders. “I thought Eddie couldn’t hang out today?”

“Steve!” You protest, sitting up just to shove at his shoulder. “No, I didn’t. Shut up.”

“Oh.”

“Oh?” You mimic, raising an eyebrow. “That’s it? That’s all you have to say?”

“What do you want me to say sweetheart? You said you didn’t smoke, I believe you.”

“Oh my god!” You groan, flopping back down onto the mattress. “Not about that, about what I said…before that.”

“That we should kiss?”

You nod, humming in affirmation. “Just to see what’s it’s like, you know?”

“Okay.” He says slowly.

“We don’t have to if you don’t want to,” You rush out. “I just thought, I don’t know it could be like…fun.” You regret your word choice immediately, and embarrassment is seeping through your pores and you look down at your lap, twisting your fingers together cruelly.

“Fun?” Steve laughs humorlessly. “Bug, if you want to have fun we can watch a movie, I can take you roller skating, or—”

“I didn’t mean to say fun!” You groan, shutting your eyes. “Just, do you want to or not?”

You know you’re not being entirely fair. It’s an out-of-the-blue ask, and it’s not as if you’re asking a simple favor either.

“So, kissing me wouldn’t be fun?” He scoffs half-heartedly.

“Steve.” You groan dramatically. “Just forget I said anything okay?”

“Hey, no.” He says softly, turning over to face you. “Babe, do you want me to kiss you?” He murmurs, warm breath at the side of your face.

“Don’t patronize me.”

“I’m not.” He says sincerely. “If you want to kiss me, you should do it.”

You sit up slowly and he does the same. Steve sits back against his headboard, legs spread slightly.

“C’mere babe.” He says softly. His nerves buzz wildly under his skin, sweat pricking at the back of his neck. He’s been dying to kiss you, has been forever, and he’s trying not to pass out from nerves.

You shuffle forward on your knees until your straddling his waist, the bare skin of your thighs brushing against his jean-clad ones.

“We’ve been friends forever, it’s not weird.” You breathe, trying to convince yourself more than Steve.

“Not weird at all.” He grins. “Friends kiss all the time.” His palm slides underneath your jaw, stopping at your cheek, warm skin against yours. He’s so close you can feel his breath fanning over your lips, goosebumps rising on your arms.

“Come on baby,” He coos, angling his face towards yours, but waiting for you to make the final move.

You inch forward slowly, gone is the confidence you’d possessed when you asked the question that got you into this situation. Finally, your lips meet his, and a wave passes over you, something strong and sparkly.

Steve groans into your mouth, a sound you greedily snatch up, edging your tongue to part his lips. Your mouth is sweet and sticky, like honey, Steve’s chasing your lips, lip gloss a mess between the two of you.

When you pull back, there’s more sparkly pink on his mouth than yours, and you’re smiling impossibly big, all happy and cute, Steve thinks.

“That was good, that was fun,” You say coyly.

“Little more than fun I’d say.” Steve grins wolfishly, hands falling to your hips when he notices you trying to scoot off of his lap.

“Shut up,” You whine playfully, falling forward onto his shoulder. His hand immediately comes to your back, fingers tracing up and down your spine.

You slump against his form, body fully relaxing against his own. “Steve?” You wonder softly, words muffled by his shoulder. “You know someone asked me on a date tonight.”

He seizes up, posture stiffening. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Who?”

“Stop. Before you get all jealous, it doesn’t matter because I said no.”

“Why?”

“Because we had plans tonight. I wanted to see you.”

“So why tell me at all?” He pouts.

“Because, you idiot,” You grumble, pulling away from his shoulder. “I’m trying to make a point.”

“Which is?” You want nothing more than to lean forward and kiss away Steve’s confused pout. He’s incredibly endearing but in this moment you want him to understand what you’re telling him.

“Someone asked me on a date. But I said no, because I wanted to be here with you.” You explain slowly.

“Oh.” Recognition flashes in his eyes and you grin.

“Yeah, oh.”

You shuffle forwards on his lap, looking down at him as you settle your hands on his shoulders.

“You’re my favorite person in the world. I want to kiss you again.”

He swallows harshly, adam’s apple bobbing in his throat. “Y-yeah, I think you should.” He practically croaks, desperate to feel you again. You roll your eyes playfully before leaning down, nudging his nose with yours before meeting his lips.

He’s rougher this time, lips hot and quick against your own. Large palms encase your face gently, a juxtaposition to the feeling on your mouth. You’re close enough to feel Steve’s racing heart against your chest, feeling almost as if they’re paired up, along with the mingling of your breath.

“You’re so,” He pulls away, lips a millimeter away and chest heaving. “You’re so fucking pretty.”

You groan at his words, fingers threading through messy chocolate locks to tug him closer. “You’re really pretty too, Stevie.”

Heat rises on his cheeks and the back of his neck, his hands twisting in your sweaty, rumpled t-shirt. He’s lost in you, entranced by how you feel, how you smell, and how you taste.

“Friends who kiss huh?” You joke weakly, voice heavy with desire. You laugh into his mouth when he nips at your bottom lip, shutting you up with another kiss.

© witchwyfe 2022. absolutely no reposting, translating, or modifying, even with credit.

[starlightkun]

❧ word count: 11.9k

❧ warnings: cursing, mentions of death/dead people in the context of him being hades, probably more legal jargon than there should be but i tried to make it as easy to understand as possible i promise, it gets pretty existential at some points but never overtly angsty

❧ genre: fluff, getting together, greek gods/goddesses au, hades jaemin, human reader, nades au, paralegal reader, bit of a ham-fisted persephone allegory, inspired by the gods/goddesses assigned to the work it unit in 2020 for this video, appearances by bestie jeno and coworker yangyang

❧ author’s note: ahhh my first fic back after over a year hiatus!! not super accurate to the original greek myths, i was just havin fun with hades as a concept rather than a strict characterization. i also watched mike flanagan’s ‘midnight mass’ and read john milton’s ‘paradise lost’ during the time i was writing this so get ready for some slight spiritual/religious iconography and overtones. hope y’all enjoy, i had so much fun playing around with my writing in this one!!

❧ spotify playlist

⤷ sequel

The god’s—Jaemin’s—eyes continued to stare you down. It felt like he was looking into your soul. And you wanted him to.

“I didn’t summon you,” you told him cautiously. “Or at least I didn’t try to.”

“Okay, so I’m thinking she could accidentally be pushed into oncoming traffic—”

“And who exactly would be doing this accidental pushing?” You cut Jeno off with a scoff.

Currently, you were laying on your back on your bed, head hanging off the end of it and phone in hand. Your best friend, Lee Jeno, was on the other end of the line, jokingly scheming to get you a job at his workplace. Jeno somehow worked as a legal assistant at the best civil law practice in your city, and you, on the other hand, were unemployed. This was what you got for taking an extra year to get your master’s degree to become a paralegal instead of immediately jumping into the workforce after undergrad.

That was where you and Jeno had met: Intro to Philosophy on your very first day of college as two bright-eyed freshmen with surprisingly similar career goals and the same taste in 00s pop punk bands. Now you were a year and a half past graduating with your bachelor’s, and six months past your master’s. And what had that extra effort gotten you? Many, many interviews that all ended the same way: You’re “an incredible applicant,” but “too educated” for the pay of the position and/or “too inexperienced.”

Jeno, on the other hand, had declined your suggestion to further your education together and instead landed himself a legal assistant job right out of college. So now here you were, living off the remnants of your student loans and savings as you desperately hunted for a paralegal job.

Your best friend’s elaborate plans to get you a job at his firm would typically make you laugh, but this time you couldn’t even muster up a chuckle. Earlier today when you checked your bank accounts during a break from emailing out your résumé, you were confronted with the fact that your savings were running out; you didn’t have enough to even get you to the end of your lease in six months.

“God will, duh,” Jeno said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. His current plan was centered around a junior partner’s paralegal dying of a myriad of mysterious causes, and apparently this time involved divine intervention too.

“Oh, right, of course,” you rolled your eyes.

“I’m serious about the fact that Yejin needs to go, though. I have no clue how she’s still employed. And you would be the perfect fit for Ms. Haseul, she kind of does a little bit of everything, but her main focus is general corporate representation. Wasn’t that what you specialized in for grad school?”

“It is, yes.”

“Then there we go!”

“I appreciate the sentiment, Jeno.”

You sighed. All this talk about a job that you’ll never have was bringing down your spirits. “Anyway, I have half a leftover pizza in the fridge calling my name right now. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Alright, bye, Y/N! I’ll keep my ears peeled for any sign of dissent in the ranks so you can slip your way in!”

“Right, bye.”

Hanging up, another sigh tumbled out of your mouth as you tossed your phone somewhere further up your bed. Truthfully, you weren’t hungry in the slightest, you just wanted to get out of that conversation. You brought your hands to your face to rub circles against your temples and closed your eyes; you were getting a headache. Hanging upside down off the foot of your bed certainly wasn’t helping, but you couldn’t be fucked to move at this point.

A moment of self-pity later and you opened your eyes with all intentions to get up and take your migraine medication, but you froze when you were met by a dark shape. Squinting, it took you a second to process that the shape was someone’s legs and shoes, and you let out a yelp. Startled, you went to twist yourself around to face whoever was in your room, but just managed to fall off your bed instead. You very narrowly avoided snapping your neck, landing on your shoulder instead, eliciting yet another yelp, but this time one of pain.

Scrambling to your feet, you were now face to face with the intruder. It was a man, younger, maybe around your age, donned in all black. Black shoes, black slacks, black suit jacket, and black vest underneath that was buttoned but with a neckline cut plenty low enough to show a good expanse of his chest. He had an eerie beauty to him: his face just bordering on gaunt with pronounced cheekbones, a sharp jawline, and a hint of bags under his eyes as if he had just woken up from a night of restless sleep. But he didn’t seem to have recently awoken, very much alert and well put-together in every other aspect. His black hair was perfectly styled back from his face save for one stray lock towards the middle, and his eyes were so dark they reminded you of black holes, threatening to sweep you away forever into a cold unknown. He had more piercings than you could count in the moment, silver and the odd jewel adorning his ears. The vest showed off four or five separate silver chains around his neck.

“What the hell are you doing in my apartment?” You breathed out, desperately trying to blink away the vertigo from your sudden change in orientation.

The man was between you and the doorway, his body language not indicating that he was blocking your way out intentionally. His hands were tucked in the pockets of his pants as he cocked an eyebrow up at your question. He seemed entirely relaxed and yet the air around you still felt as if it were growing colder by the second.

“I should be asking you that. What the hell am I doing in your apartment?” He repeated your question back to you, amusement in his tone as he studied you from head to toe, then back up.

“What?”

“I was summoned by someone. I’m not summoned often, usually Eros or Aphrodite are at the beck and call of humans.”

The names made your head spin, “Eros? Aphrodite? Like, the Greek gods?”

“Yes, of course.” One of his hands left his pocket, the many rings along his fingers glistening in your ceiling fan lights as he went to push the stray lock of hair back from his face. “Humans are always wishing for love or beauty or fame. Not as often are they wishing for my gifts, or at least not with such an intensity that I’m inclined to entertain those wishes.”

Something about his candor inclined you to ask, “Who are you?”

“I’ve had a couple names. Pluto, and you probably recognize me as Hades. But you can call me Jaemin.”

His words made your heart thunder in your chest once again. You wanted to tell yourself that this guy was crazy, but he sounded so assured and calm that it gave you pause. Not mention that he had just appeared in your home out of nowhere.

“Hades? God of the Underworld? In my apartment?”

“The very same. Please, call me Jaemin. As long as I can call you Y/N.”

“Oh, you know my name already,” you stated weakly.

The god’s—Jaemin’s—eyes continued to stare you down. It felt like he was looking into your soul. And you wanted him to.

“I didn’t summon you,” you told him cautiously. “Or at least I didn’t try to.”

He took a step towards you. “And yet here I am.”

Another step. “I was brought here by a desire, your desire. So, what do you really, really want, Y/N?”

His words dripped off his tongue and wound their way through your mind. “A loved one back from the dead? The death of an enemy? To die yourself? So much money you could never spend it all in one lifetime?”

Another step.

“No, none of those,” you shook your head vigorously, feeling like every sense of yours was alight with his proximity to you. Every sound was deafening, your skin tingled, and the scent of cinnamon and citrus danced around you. One more step and he’d practically be on top of you. “I don’t want any of that.”

Another step. He was right in front of you now, his startlingly cool breath washing over your face as he asked, “Then what do you want?”

“I just—” your hands were clenched into fists at your sides, fingernails digging into your palms as you struggled to find the words. “Want to work at Kim & Moon.”

Jaemin’s head cocked to the side as he studied your face, “Why?”

“It’s the best civil law firm in the city. I know it’s where I belong, if I could just get a job there, I know I’d do well.”

“This job? Does it pay well?”

“I-I don’t know,” you confessed. “Jeno hasn’t ever told me how much he makes, but that’s only part of why I want to work there. If all I cared about was paying my bills, I would’ve taken the first job at any sleazy ambulance chaser’s office I could find. But I’d be wasted on something like that. I’m smart, well-studied, and I’ll be good at what I do. I just know it.”

He chuckled, the sound sending a shiver down your spine.

“Yeah, I like that.”

Then all at once, Jaemin was no longer in front of you, and you felt like you could breathe properly again. He dropped himself onto your bed, settling in to recline leisurely against your headboard, legs crossed at the ankle.

“Alright, I’ll grant your wish,” he declared, slipping one of his rings off to roll it along his knuckles. The silver band caught the light and nearly distracted you from his words.

Pulling yourself out of your momentary trance, you immediately said, “But I didn’t ask you to—”

“Of course you did, or I wouldn’t be here. Do we really have to go through this again?” His eyes were fixed on the ring. “Now do you want that job or not?”

“If I say yes, what do you want in return? I doubt Hades himself is in the business of charity.”

“Smart. There will be an exchange, obviously.”

“Then my answer is no, I don’t want to be selling my soul or something.”

Jaemin suddenly flicked the ring up, watching as it did one, two, three flips in the air before landing in the palm of his hand, “As lovely as I’m sure your soul is, I’m not particularly interested in taking it.”

“Well then what would you want from me?”

“A third of your life.” He said it simply, as if you two were talking about him borrowing a cup of sugar, not your life.

“Wh—”

“Let me finish,” he instructed sternly, firm gaze once again on you. “Spend two-thirds of your year here, then spend the remaining third of it with me.”

“If I take four months off work I won't be able to keep the job you get me.”

“It doesn’t have to be consecutive. Give me your nights and I’ll call it even.”

“Why? Why me? Why would you give me so much for just… hanging out with you?”

He shrugged, “I’m tired of spending all my time with dead people.”

Despite his casual tone, you swore you saw something much sadder flash across his face for a moment. It was gone as soon as you had registered it, making you wonder if you just imagined it. When you remained quiet, chewing on the inside of your cheek in thought, he stood up and crossed the room to once again stop just a mere inch or two in front of you, “Do we have a deal, Y/N?”

A chance to use your degree and skills like you’d always dreamed, just for hanging out with a god every night? It sounded... not quite too good to be true, but definitely too easy. You couldn’t remember Hades being portrayed as a tricksy sort in the myths, and everything Jaemin had done tonight—aside from appearing in your room out of the blue—made you think that you could probably trust him.

“Yeah, sure,” you agreed, looking up from where you had been twiddling your thumbs anxiously to his hauntingly beautiful face. “Do we have to do anything to make the deal official or whatever?”

“What, like a kiss?” He grinned at you mischievously. “Since you asked…”

“Jaemin!” You scoffed, feeling like he was teasing you now.

“You’re the one who brought it up.”

“No I didn’t!”

“Anyway, a handshake will do just fine,” Jaemin held his right hand out in the small space between your bodies.

You took it, feeling the cold from his fingers seep into your own, and gave it one firm shake. Before you could take your hand back, he’d tightened his grip and turned it over. His other hand came up to slip a ring onto your ring finger. It was the same silver band he had been playing with before, and it magically changed size to fit your finger perfectly. Jaemin bowed slightly, bringing your hand up to press a feather-light kiss to the knuckle of the very finger he’d just put the ring on. His lips were cool like the rest of him, but you still felt warm at his actions.

“There,” he straightened back up and let go of your hand finally. “That should do it.”

You looked down at the ring he’d just put on your finger. It was a simple silver band of medium width that reminded you of your father’s wedding band.

“Goodbye for now, Y/N.”

“Yeah—” you cut yourself off when you brought your eyes up to see that Jaemin was gone. Staring at the empty space where he just was, you murmured, “Bye, Jaemin.”

That night you dreamt of a man cloaked in shadows guiding you to a tree, instructing you to pick the golden fruit that was growing on it. You gazed at the fruit, in a daze, mesmerized by their beauty. They were so inviting, the man’s voice soothing, and you lifted a hand up towards one.

You groaned against the bright sunlight streaming in through a crack between your curtains. Directly on your face. You threw your left arm over your eyes to block it out as you continued lying in bed, letting your mind and body wake up gradually.

Memories of last night’s visitor came back to you, and you sighed. Surely it was a dream. A weird, weird dream that your mind conjured up in an attempt to fulfill your wish for a job.

But when you squinted your eyes open and brought your right hand up enough to look at your fingers, the silver band that sat there let you know that it was real. You’d been visited last night, by Hades, who said he’d grant your wish for a job in exchange for a third of your life. And you said yes.

The loud sound of your phone buzzing on your nightstand prompted you to roll over and grab it to look at the caller ID. Lee Jeno.

“Yeah?” You couldn’t even muster up a proper greeting as you picked up, still bogged down by sleep.

“Y/N, great news!”

You glanced at the time on your phone before bringing it back up to your ear, “Jeno, it’s not even 9:30 a.m., why are you calling me? You can’t be on lunch.”

“I know, but as soon as I heard, I had to tell you!”

“Tell me what, exactly?”

“There’s a job opening at the firm! You have to apply!”

That woke you up.

“An opening?” You asked, shooting up into a sitting position.

“Jo Haseul, the junior partner at the firm I’ve been telling you about, her paralegal won the lottery and quit on the spot. No two weeks’ notice, they’re urgently hiring her replacement. I’ll text you the firm administrator’s email for you to send your résumé to!”

“That would be great, thank you, Jeno.”

“Of course!” He said brightly as another phone began ringing in the background. “I’ve got to go now, Ms. Kang is buzzing me.”

“Right, thank you again.”

“Bye!”

“Bye,” you brought your phone down to see he had already ended the call.

As you went to grab your laptop from the foot of your bed to begin drafting that email, your eyes got caught by the silver ring on your hand.

A week later and you were walking into your first day of work at Kim & Moon. The firm administrator, Jeong Jaehyun, was showing you around, and finally stopped his tour in an open-floor plan portion of the office where a grouping of eight desks were. A couple of them were empty, the others filled by various men and women hard at work, and also Lee Jeno.

“Y/N!” Jeno waved at you enthusiastically from where he was on the other side of all the desks, and you lifted your hand to give a small wave back.

“Oh, you know Lee Jeno?” Mr. Jeong asked as he guided you over towards your friend.

“Yes, we were in the same undergrad program.”

“Good, it should be easier to settle in with a familiar face nearby.” The administrator smiled as he gestured to the empty desk behind your friend. The one beside it was occupied by another young man incredibly focused on his screen, headphones in as his fingers flitted over his keyboard and he fervently typed out a court document.

“This is your desk, Ms. Y/L/N. Ms. Jo, your attorney, is on a call right now but she has been informed of your arrival. I’m sure she’ll meet with you when she can. In the meantime, please acquaint yourself with your workspace. Your computer is already logged in, and all of your passwords are on the paper right there. Is there anything you need at the moment?”

“No, no. Thank you so much, Mr. Jeong,” you bowed your head politely to him.

“Of course. Please let me know if there’s anything else I can do for you.” He pointed to the landline sitting on your desk next to the computer monitors, “I have a quick-dial button right next to Reception’s. Buzz me if you need something.”

“I will, thank you.”

And with that, Jeong Jaehyun took his leave of the pod that you were in. You sat in your chair, taking in the sparse supplies on your desk: two computer monitors, keyboard, mouse, a landline phone, a couple pens, and one sheet of paper laid across your keyboard. It was a list of your login credentials for your computer, work email, and the firm’s file management software, along with Mr. Jeong’s extension and quick-dial button name.

You turned back around to where you knew Jeno was already waiting for you. Your friend was practically vibrating with excitement in his own desk chair.

“This is so exciting!” Jeno exclaimed, momentarily drawing the attention of all the other employees in your vicinity before they went back to whatever they were doing. He continued on much quieter, “I told you you’d kill it at your interview.”

“Right,” you nodded, trying not to think about the silver ring on your right hand. “Thanks, Jeno, I’m excited to start.”

“I’ll give you the rundown of everyone at the firm, come here,” he scooted his chair over to make room for you to roll yours up to his desk.

His fingers quickly flitted across his keyboard and mouse to pull up the firm website. Hovering over the tab labeled ‘Our Attorneys,’ you saw a list of names drop down. He clicked on the first one, Kim Chaeyoung. It pulled up a profile, the picture showing a very determined older woman, her arms crossed over her chest as she very resolutely stared down the camera.

“This is Kim Chaeyoung, the ‘Kim’ in Kim & Moon. She’s the most senior attorney at the firm, and mostly does corporate compliance and medical malpractice law. She just stepped down from being managing partner at the end of last year.”

He clicked the next name on the list, Moon Taeil. This time a man was on your screen, a bit older than you, but not by too much. No more than ten or fifteen years for sure, quite young to be a managing partner at such a large firm. His gaze wasn’t quite as intense as Kim Chaeyoung’s, but it held an intelligence and wisdom clearly beyond his years.

“Mrs. Kim stepped down to let this man, Moon Taeil, take over as managing partner. Something about wanting younger blood in charge but…” Jeno looked around the pod before he dropped his voice to a whisper so soft you had to lean in to hear him, “The rumor is that Mrs. Kim is going to announce her retirement at the holiday party at the end of this year.”

“And what sort of law does Mr. Moon do?” You questioned.

“Mostly insurance litigation. He tends to get the nastier incidents though: shootings, stabbings, fires, the odd dog bite.”

You then went through the senior partners before getting to the first of the junior partners on the list.

“And here is Jo Haseul, your attorney. She’s the most senior of the junior partners, and rumors also say that she’s going to be made a senior partner by the end of this year.”

“You love your office gossip, don’t you?”

You studied the woman on screen. She was younger than you had expected, a fierceness in her eyes that both intimidated you and inspired you to follow her wherever she led.

“This isn’t even the juicy stuff, wait until you hear about the affair Mr. Noh supposedly had with his assistant in the 80s,” Jeno scoffed, then turned his attention back to the woman on screen. “Anyway, Ms. Haseul is Mrs. Kim’s protégé. She mostly does general corporate matters, medical malpractice, and the occasional pro bono representation for women in need. Restraining orders, child custody, divorce, whatever comes in the door. If you really want to get to know her, ask about those cases.”

“She sounds incredible.”

“I told you you’d be perfect for each other.” Your friend then pulled up the next junior partner, “This is Kim Doyoung, he’s Mrs. Kim’s son but you’d never be able to tell by how they act around each other. All business. I think he doesn’t want people to assume he only got his position because of his mother, but nobody who has actually spoken to Mrs. Kim would ever think she’d do something like that. She’s got some serious integrity.”

Jeno was about to move on to the next attorney profile, a ‘Qian Kun,’ when you heard a ringing from behind you.

“Oh, that’s you, Y/N!”

You quickly wheeled yourself back over to your desk, picking up your desk phone after the third ring, “Y/L/N Y/N speaking.”

“Ms. Y/L/N,” a woman’s voice was on the other end, and when you glanced at the caller ID, you saw ‘Jo Haseul’ across the screen. “This is Jo Haseul. Please come to my office now.”

“Yes ma’am.”

“I’m down the hall. Ask another assistant if you need help finding it.”

“Will do, thank you.”

She hung up, and you rushed to stand up. Grabbing one of the pens you saw earlier, you frantically scanned for a notepad to write with, but there wasn’t one on hand at your desk. You whipped around to face your friend, “Jeno, do you have a notepad I can use? Ms. Haseul wants to see me.”

“Here,” he handed you a notepad slightly bigger than your hand, spiral-bound at the top.

“Thank you!”

“The attorney offices are down that hall,” he pointed. “And Ms. Haseul’s will be on your left.”

“Got it, thanks!” You hurried in the direction he gestured.

Thankfully, everyone’s names were engraved on metal nameplates on the doors, making it easy to know when you had stopped in front of your attorney’s. Rapping your knuckles against the wood, you waited for a response.

“Come in.”

You entered already bowing, “Y/L/N Y/N, ma’am. It’s an honor to be here and I am very grateful for the opportunity to work with you.”

Jo Haseul appraised you for a moment from where she was sat behind her desk. She then nodded, “It’s nice to meet you. Now please sit, Y/L/N.”

“Yes ma’am,” you quickly sat in the armchair she had gestured to.

After brief introductions, Ms. Haseul gave you the rundown of the kinds of cases she tended to deal with—which generally lined up with what Jeno had told you earlier, her management style, workflow, and an overview of the duties you’ll be expected to fulfill as her paralegal. At the end of it, you left with pages of notes, a stack of papers in your arms, and your first tasks to do for her.

Stopping at your desk, you didn’t even sit as you organized the papers into three stacks: to correct, to file, and to copy. You picked up the last stack of things that Ms. Haseul wanted copies of, then turned to your friend, “Hey, Jeno, where’s the copier?”

The assistant sat at the desk beside yours was the one who spoke up in response, his headphones set aside now, “Oh, I’m going there right now, I’ll show you!”

“Thanks, Yangyang,” Jeno said, then nodded for you to go along with the other man.

Yangyang grabbed his own paper before leading the way out from the desks. He took off in the opposite direction from the offices down a different hallway, “It’s down this hall, first door on the right.” He then opened said door to reveal a room with four large copy machines in it.

“I’m Liu Yangyang, by the way,” your coworker introduced himself, stopping in front of one machine. “I’m Qian Kun and Dong Sicheng’s legal assistant. They’re Ms. Haseul’s associate attorneys that work under her so you and I will overlap quite a bit. Sicheng usually handles corporate matters with Ms. Haseul while Kun does the med mal portion.”

“I’m Y/L/N Y/N. It’s nice to meet you, Yangyang.”

“You too, Y/N. And I’m sure you’ll meet my attorneys at some point today. I apologize in advance, and yes, they are always like that. Kun’s a workaholic who would be here until two in the morning if somebody didn’t send him home, and Sicheng… you are allowed to say no to him, and I encourage it, actually. Booksmart but doesn’t quite get social cues. I’ve seen him accidentally sweet talk his way into having an assistant pick up his dry cleaning before.”

“Wait, seriously?”

“Yeah, I had to intervene to ensure feminism wasn’t set back fifty years,” Yangyang scoffed.

“Women everywhere commend you for your service to the cause, Yangyang,” you nodded solemnly, to which your coworker snickered.

“The dude’s wicked smart but dumber than a box of rocks. Associates, you know?” He shook his head then returned to instructing you about the machine.

After Yangyang had shown you how to use the multipurpose machine—scanning and uploading, printing, copying, faxing—he took the copies that he had made and left you there. Nobody was at the other copiers, making you the only one in the room. You took a deep breath to compose yourself after having so much information thrown at you from all sides. Right now, at this moment, all you needed to do was make a copy.

Putting the first document in where Yangyang had shown you, you’d just started tapping the touchscreen through to the copying option when a dark figure appeared at the edge of your vision. Your head snapped up to look at the man leaning against the wall beside the copy machine you were at.

You hadn’t seen Jaemin since the night you’d made your deal. You’d spent the entire next night anxiously waiting for him to appear, but he never did, and you eventually gave up and fell asleep. He didn’t come any night after that, and you kind of thought he might’ve forgotten about you, or maybe didn’t really want you to hold up your end of the deal. Realized that he could find better company than you.

But here he was, in your workplace, smirk on his face and delight in his tone, “Surprise! I came to visit you on your first day of work. I’m so proud!”

First rolling your eyes at the sarcasm in his words and the fake tear he wiped away, you then fervently glanced towards the door to the copy room, “What are you doing here?”

“I’m checking on my investment,” he answered coolly.

“What, me? You can check on me at my home tonight, not at my job on my first day of work! Somebody could walk in, how would I explain you?”

“Nobody’s coming.”

“The deal was that I would give you my nights. Sun’s still up.”

“Yes, you’re doing just fine,” he nodded as he adjusted his black tie, seeming satisfied with his ‘check in.’ “I’ll see you tonight, Y/N.”

And he was gone in the blink of an eye.

You immediately flopped down onto your couch when you got home that night. That was the most work you’d done in a while; you were tired both physically and mentally. But it was a good sort of tired. You finally had a job.

“Hi, honey, how was work?”

You shot up at the voice, knowing exactly who it was. Jaemin was poised in your armchair, half a smirk already on his lips. He was in all-black again, though a slightly different suit from last time, his slacks and suit jacket had thin dark grey pinstripes, over a black silk dress shirt with the top three buttons open.

“Oh, uh, it was good,” you said.

Silence fell over you two, and you started fidgeting uncomfortably as it dragged on. Finally, you said, “So... what do you want to do?”

“Have you eaten dinner yet?”

“I feel like you already know the answer to that, but no. I just got home.”

“Let’s get dinner then. Where would you like to go?”

“Uhm...” you wracked your brain for some places nearby. “There’s a ramen place down the street. Let me change out of my work clothes first, hold on.”

Re-emerging from your bedroom in more casual clothes, you saw that Jaemin had moved from his spot on your armchair and was instead standing, gazing out the window. And again, for a brief moment, you could’ve sworn he looked... lonely.

“I’m ready,” you announced yourself. It felt wrong to keep looking at him like that.

Jaemin turned around, focusing a dazzling smile on you, “Lead the way, Y/N.”

The place you were thinking of really was just a couple blocks down the street. Mumbling a thanks to Jaemin as he held the door open for you, you were immediately met with a packed restaurant. It was seat-yourself, and you managed to spot a small table for two in the very back corner, right beside the entrance to the kitchen. Guiding Jaemin over to it, you felt your face turn warm as he pulled your chair out for you.

The menu was a singular piece of laminated paper taped to the tabletop, and your eyes skimmed it. You ordered the same thing every time at this point, but it was something to look at other than the god in front of you. Speaking of, he was a god. Did he even need to eat?

“Jaemin.” You said his name as you looked up from the menu.

His eyes flicked up from where they’d also been reading the options, “Hm?”

“Do you even eat, like, normal food?”

“I can if I want to, I just don’t need it to survive like you do.”

“Oh, I see. And do you... like it?”

“Quite.”

It was then that a familiar waiter came up to your table, “Hi, Y/N! It’s been a while. Almost didn’t recognize you at a table instead of the bar.”

Typically, you would come by yourself and sit at the bartop to eat alone alongside all the other solo patrons. You rolled your eyes at the slight jab, “Thank you, Chenle, I feel so welcome.”

“Aw, you know you’re one of my favorite regulars,” the young man snickered.

“Yeah, whatever. Sorry I haven’t been by lately, I didn’t exactly have the funds to eat out.”

“That’s okay. But you’re back, does that mean that you found a job?”

“Yes, I did.”

“Congrats!” He then focused his attention on the man across from you, “Hi, I’m Zhong Chenle.”

You moved to introduce the two before Jaemin could open his mouth, afraid of what he would’ve said. “Chenle, this is Jaemin, a... friend of mine. Jaemin, this is Chenle, he’s a server here.”

“And I’ll be serving you two tonight. So, what can I get you?”

After taking your orders, Chenle took off to put them in. You shifted in your seat awkwardly. What were you and Jaemin even supposed to talk about?

“You usually sit at the bar?” Jaemin questioned.

“I’m not an alcoholic, despite how Chenle made it sound,” you scoffed. “I usually come by myself, and the bar is the quickest place to get your food and get out. And that way I don’t take up any tables that groups can use.”

“I feel honored that you brought me here, then.”

You searched his face for any hint that he was teasing you, but all you found was sincere curiosity. Suddenly feeling uncomfortable, you changed the topic, “So why did you show up tonight? You didn’t come all last week.”

“Well, I had to hold up my end of the deal first.”

“Right, that... makes sense.” Realizing that you hadn’t even thanked him for whatever he’d done for you, you added, “Thank you, Jaemin. For you know, the job.”

“You’re welcome.”

Chenle returned then with a small bottle of soju for each of you, informing you that your food would be ready soon.

“So is it everything you’d dreamed of? Working at Kim & Moon?” Jaemin asked before lifting his bottle to his lips.

“Today was only my first day but... yes. I’ve already learned a lot, was listened to when I spoke, and the partner I work for seems like an incredible woman so far. It’s wonderful.”

“I hope it stays that wonderful for you, Y/N. I’d like to see your eyes light up like this often.”

Looking down at the green bottle in front of you, you twisted your ring around your finger nervously. You didn’t know what to say back, your heart fluttering around in your chest. Jaemin was charming, too charming for your own good, and you sort of felt like you really shouldn’t have expected any less from a god.

“Are you curious?”

You snapped your head up to look at your companion, not even attempting to hide your confusion at his words, “About what?”

“What I did, to get you the job.”

“I mean, I am. I assume you had something to do with Yejin winning the lottery? You’re the god of everything below the Earth, including precious gems, gold, silver. The god of riches, wealth. In the modern day that would translate to how we view wealth and riches now, since I’m not really out here buying my groceries with rubies and gold coins. Right?”

Jaemin’s obsidian eyes practically glittered as he listened to you speak, his lips curling up at one corner before he took another swig of his soju. When you were finished, he set the bottle back onto the table to answer your question, “Hit the nail on the head.”

“Honestly, I’m just glad you did that instead of killing her or something horrible.”

His head jerked back as he looked at you with bewilderment, “Now why would I do that? I’m the god of the dead, not death. If you wanted her dead you’re talking to the wrong deity.”

“I don’t want her dead, that’s my point. That’s what Jeno was joking about on the phone before you showed up; I didn’t want you to get any ideas.”

“I don’t really find it fun to just push people into traffic.”

“So you were listening to—” You cut yourself off as you saw Chenle approaching with your food. Not a conversation to be having in front of your normal human waiter.

After he had left your table again, you returned to what you were saying before, “So you were listening to our conversation.”

“Can’t help myself, I’m nosy when it comes to the humans who summon me,” Jaemin admitted.

“So what does Hades do for fun then?” You asked lightheartedly, slurping at some of your broth.

“While I don’t necessarily enjoy pushing people into traffic, I do find it much more fun to let a human become suddenly awash with money and watch what happens when they eventually lose it all. See what they spend it on, who they spend it on. Themselves mostly, sometimes others, trying to get people to be their friends or lovers simply because of what they’ll buy them. I’ll watch them do what humans do best, use and abuse the gifts that were given to them. And then once they’ve been sucked dry both in their finances and their souls, find out how they try to move on.”

“Is that what you’re doing with me?” You set your spoon down, voice wavering. “Watching and waiting for me to end up like that?”

Jaemin took a pause, shifting forward in his seat before responding, “One of my favorite things about humans is how resilient you are. Always trying to bounce back. It’s fascinating to find out your breaking point, when you have no more bounce left.”

An absolutely devilish smile played across his features as he seemed to take delight in the notion. He didn’t exactly answer your question, but the lack thereof felt like enough.

“Why?”

“Because it’s different for every person, and always further than I think it’ll be. Even after so long, knowing that humans can still surprise me, it’s refreshing. Makes me think that…”

You blinked at him, waiting for him to finish. He was definitely well aware that he had your rapt attention, basking in the drama he had created by pausing. His eyes settled on you firmly, holding eye contact as something softer entered them.

“Maybe you’ll surprise me, too.”

Jaemin came back to your apartment with you after you’d decided you were full. You hadn’t had much of an appetite after that harrowing conversation over dinner, and he’d left you with a lot of thinking to do. It wasn’t every day that you heard a god’s perspective on human lives—on toying with human lives, watching for their eventual breakdown in the aftermath of the ‘gifts’ he gave them. If that’s what it did to them all, it seemed much more like a curse to you.

And you were of course thinking about whether it would happen to you too. You hadn’t wished for riches or wealth directly, definitely not so much that it would have the same effect on your life as winning the lottery. But that didn’t mean that you weren’t worried. And the idea of Jaemin watching you every step of the way, waiting to see when you’d slip up, when you’d meet your breaking point, made you shiver instinctually.

“Are you cold?” Jaemin’s question broke the silence that had been hovering over you two since you started the walk from the restaurant back to your apartment.

“Oh, no, I—”

But he had already shrugged his suit jacket off and laid it over your shoulders. There was no residual body heat in it, but it did help block out some of the breeze blowing past you. You hadn’t noticed the temperature at all, too wrapped up in your own thoughts.

“Thanks,” you muttered, wrapping the jacket tighter around your shoulders. It smelled faintly of spiced citrus.

“No worries.”

Back in your apartment, you wanted nothing more than to lay in bed staring up at your ceiling as you gave yourself over fully to the existential crisis you were descending into. But you still had a god to entertain.

A glance at the change in time on your stovetop clock let you know that you were only a couple hours into your commitment. You hoped he didn’t expect you to stay up all night with him. Leaving Jaemin in your living room once again, you changed into pajamas in your bedroom. If he was going to be with you every night from here on out, you were at least going to be comfy for some of it.

Jaemin was back in the armchair he had appeared in at the beginning of the night, one knee crossed over the other and a book in hand. You paused behind him on your way back into the living room to peer over his shoulder, trying to read the title at the top of the page he was on.

“The Turn of the Screw?” You questioned, walking around him to plop down onto your couch.

“I found it on your shelf,” he gestured to the built-in shelves in the walls around the recess that held your TV. “I hope you don’t mind.”

“Knock yourself out, I haven’t touched it since I had to read it for a ghost literature class like… four years ago.”

“Ghost literature class?” Jaemin lowered the book to rest on his leg while he regarded you with an eyebrow raised. “Did you go to school in the Underworld or something?”

“It was actually called like ‘Ghost Stories and Haunted Fiction of the 19th Century’ or something. The students just called it ghost lit. We read all these spooky stories, including The Turn of the Screw,” you explained, then looked around your living room. “I have a few more of them around here somewhere. Bram Stoker’s Dracula, Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein— I can’t remember the full reading list, but they’re scattered around.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” He raised the book back up to continue reading intently.

Since he seemed occupied for the moment, you pulled out your phone to distract yourself.

A couple hours later and you let out your first yawn of the night. You’d thought that Jaemin was so enraptured by the book that he wasn’t paying any attention to you. The chuckle he gave from across the room proved you wrong, however. There was definitely nothing funny in that story. You threw him a scowl, but he neither looked up from the book nor said anything.

Shifting in your spot to get comfy again, you returned to the article that you’d been reading on your phone and your guest was quiet once again. Another yawn split your mouth, and the words on your screen swam in your vision as your eyes teared up.

“Tired, Y/N?” Jaemin’s eyes still hadn’t left the book as he continued, “You should go to sleep, early day at work tomorrow, right?”

“And what are you going to do?”

“I thought I’d finish this book, if that’s alright with you. I’ve got about… thirty, forty pages left.”

“Oh, uh, sure,” you were surprised both that he was encouraging you to go to sleep during the time you’d agreed to forfeit to him, and that he wanted to finish the book.

Standing up from the couch, you shuffled into your kitchen to fill up a glass of water. After knocking back your nightly medication, you placed the water on your nightstand and went into your bathroom to do your nighttime routine. You found yourself hovering at the threshold between the hallway that contained your bedroom and bathroom, and the living room. It felt weird to just go to bed with someone else in your home, at least not without saying goodnight to them.

“Uhm,” you cleared your throat.

Jaemin turned to look at you from over the back of the armchair, “Yes, Y/N?”

“I just wanted to…” you felt the words catch in your throat. Pushing through your awkwardness, you twisted the ring around your finger as you forced the words out, “Goodnight, Jaemin.”

“Goodnight, Y/N.” He smiled at you before turning back around to face his book, “See you tomorrow.”

And with that, you retreated into your bedroom for the night, falling asleep almost as soon as your head hit the pillow.

The man of shadows was in your dreams again that night, drawing you to the tree with the golden fruit. His voice once more invited you to partake in picking the fruit, and your hand inched up, up, up, towards one. Your fingers had just wrapped around the fruit, ready to pluck it off the branch, when you woke up.

When you awoke the next morning, you went through the motions of your morning routine, strolling from your bathroom out to your kitchen, toothbrush sticking out of your mouth. You continued brushing your teeth with one hand as you grabbed the freshly popped toast from the toaster to put on a plate. As you went to lean over the kitchen sink to spit the toothpaste foam out of your mouth, your eyes got caught on something in the living room, which the sink overlooked. There was a small black pouch sitting on the coffee table, on the corner closest to the armchair.

After wiping your mouth off, you walked over to your coffee table, intrigue building as you picked up the velvet drawstring pouch. Looking around, you were only greeted by your empty apartment. This wasn’t here last night. Or at least, not before you went to sleep.

Pulling it open, you gently shook the contents out onto your palm. It was a silver bracelet, intricate filigree running along the band that was inlaid with gorgeous green and blue gems.

Jaemin’s words from dinner last night echoed in your head.

‘I do find it much more fun to let a human become suddenly awash with money and watch what happens when they eventually lose it all… It’s fascinating to find out your breaking point…’

A foreboding feeling colored your vision, and you rushed to tuck the bracelet back into the bag and throw it onto the table.

When Jaemin came that night, you were cooking dinner in your kitchen. He appeared there with you, leaning against the counter next to your sink as you were standing over the stovetop.

“Good evening, Y/N,” he greeted you.

“Hello, Jaemin.” You steeled your nerves, giving as nonchalant of a nod as you could towards the living room, “You left something here last night. It’s on the coffee table.”

The god regarded you with a tilted head, and you felt his eyes on your empty wrists, “That was for you.”

“I didn’t ask you for anything like that.”

“I know. It was a gift.”

“The job was plenty, Jaemin.”

He was silent as he continued to watch you cook. After a grueling couple of minutes of absolute silence, his eyes burning into you the whole time, you finally turned to properly look him in the face. Throwing on a smile, you informed him, “Dinner’s ready. Ravioli, would you like some?”

“Yes, please.”

You set two places at your dinner table before plating two portions of the pasta. Jaemin was still in his place next to the sink, observing your movements.

“Go ahead and sit, I’m just going to grab a couple glasses,” you gestured towards the kitchen table.

Without even waiting to see if he’d obey, you bustled over to a cabinet and took out two wine glasses, then grabbed a bottle of white wine you’d been meaning to finish off. When you turned back to the kitchen table, you were pleasantly surprised to see Jaemin waiting there patiently, fidgeting with his silverware. Setting the two glasses down, you noticed that Jaemin’s silverware was in different places than you had put them in when you hastily set the table. The fork was on the left of the plate, the knife and spoon on the right with the knife directly beside the plate and the spoon on the other side of the knife. Yours on the other hand were in the haphazard places atop the napkin that you had put them earlier.

“Apologies for the subpar fork placement,” you said, uncorking the wine to begin pouring it out first for Jaemin.

“Oh, it’s just a habit,” he explained. His tone then turned as teasing as yours had been, “My apologies for making you think your fork placement was anything other than above par.”

You then poured for yourself as you continued the banter, “Yeah, you know, I really pride myself on my utensil arranging skills. My feelings have been gravely wounded. I’ll never recover from this.”

“Then would you consider taking this,” he procured a small black pouch from his pocket, and you had a suspicion as to exactly what was in it, “as repentance, with my sincerest apologies?”

A bitter sigh came out of your mouth at him ruining the perfectly normal moment you were enjoying, “Jaemin, I told you I don’t want any more gifts from you.”

The way you spat out the word ‘gifts’ was apparently a lightbulb moment for him as he set the pouch down on the table and all playfulness dropped from his face. Disinterested in whatever he was going to say to try to convince you to take it, you picked up your fork, using the side of the tongs to cut one of your raviolis in half.

“Y/N…” he said your name almost wistfully, leaning forward towards you earnestly. “I really do just want you to have it. It’s not a test or a ruse, just… a token.”

“A token of what?” You snorted, spearing half of the ravioli that you’d just cut and bringing it up to your mouth.

“My affection?”

You choked momentarily on the pasta in your mouth, chewing and swallowing it as quickly as possible and taking a sip of your wine to wash it down. Jaemin still hadn’t touched his food, utensils undisturbed as he waited for you to collect yourself. When you searched his face for a smirk, a mischievous glint in his eyes, anything to indicate that he was being less than truthful, you found none. You were just met with deep open pools of black in his eyes, his mouth set in seriousness, and his hand once again holding the pouch back out to you.

“Your what?”

“I know you heard me.”

“Yes, and now I’m asking for clarification.”

“I find you fascinating, and not in the morbid kind of way like I described to you last night. I’ve found myself starting to become fond of you, and I wanted to show that to you with a… present.”

“What, like getting your puppy a new chew toy because they’re so darn cute?”

Jaemin chuckled, “Not quite. But still, will you please accept it, Y/N?”

You thought it over for another moment, chewing on the inside of your cheek. He was being sincere, you were sure of it. You’d caught brief glimpses of the kinder side to Jaemin just in the few times you’d met him: when he’d leant you his suit jacket walking home last night, telling you he was hoping you’d continue being in love with your job, the gentlemanly peck he’d left on your fingers the night you’d made your deal. And now, as he patiently awaited your answer.

“Alright,” you agreed, taking the small bag from him. “Thank you, Jaemin.”

“Thank you for letting me give it to you.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

Pulling the bracelet back out of the pouch, you saw that it had a hinge mechanism on it that you couldn’t manage one-handed, and held it out to the god sitting in front of you, “Will you help me put it on?”

“Of course,” he took it, opening the band up with ease.

You held your right hand out towards him, and he brought the open bracelet up around your wrist. But you weren’t watching the way his deft fingers put it on around your wrist, the tips of them brushing over the sensitive skin at your pulse point, leaving coolness behind. You were watching his face as he focused on the task intently, his brows furrowing in concentration then relaxing after the bracelet had clicked shut. A small but tender smile took over his face, his eyes softening as he turned your hand over palm down, thumb running up your ring finger until it reached the silver band that resided there.

Your skin buzzed in the wake of his touch, an electric cold. You could hear your heart thudding in your ears and hoped that he didn’t have supernatural god hearing or something and could hear it too. If he did, he gave no indication of such. He withdrew his hands, leaving you more dazed than you should’ve been at the minimal contact you had. Jerking your hand back to your side of the table, you turned your gaze down at your food, trying to ignore how hot your cheeks were.

A light laugh came from Jaemin, but you couldn’t force your eyes back up to him, knowing that his were already on you.

That night you dreamt once more of the man cast in darkness, leading you to the tree of golden fruit. This time when he encouraged you to pick one, you grasped at the fruit with two hands, pulling it right off the branch with a firm tug.

Just about one month into your… arrangement with Jaemin, you were rooting through your fridge for something to make for dinner when there was suddenly a cool breeze on the back of your neck. Except you were indoors.

Spinning around, you were immediately met with the god extremely close to you, and let out an exasperated sigh, “God damn, Jaemin, are you trying to give me a heart attack?”

“I can’t help it if I make your heart race,” he grinned, the mischievous glint in his eye making your heart pound in a different way that it had been.

“Yeah, because you jumpscared me,” you rolled your eyes, shutting the fridge doors to then lean back against the appliance. “Anyway, it’s not looking like I have anything to make for dinner. You okay with eating out tonight?”

“More than, I was actually hoping you’d let me take you somewhere tonight.”

“Where?”

“My place. You’ve been such a gracious host this whole time, it’s time I repay the favor.”

“Your place, as in... the Underworld?”

“Yeah, why not?” He shrugged nonchalantly, an enticing grin on his features. A grin that invited you to follow its owner to places you’d never been before. “I promise you’ll come back.”

“In one piece?”

“Of course.”

You’d be lying if you said you weren’t intrigued, that you hadn’t tried to picture what the Underworld looked like. All you could come up with was the standard image of hell: flames, pitchforks, eternal torture. But now you were getting an invitation to go there with Hades and come back alive.

“And I’ll be back in time to go to work in the morning?”

“Yes, absolutely.”

“Alright, sure,” you finally acquiesced. “I’d love to, thank you for inviting me.”

Jaemin offered his hand out to you then, and you placed your atop. He gave yours a light squeeze, “Just focus on me, Y/N. Just look in my eyes.”

“Okay?” You agreed despite your tone pitching it up into a question, unsure of why exactly he was asking you to do that.

Nevertheless, you settled your gaze on his eyes, even as he drew you in closer by the light grip on your hand. You gave him an awkward half-smile, unsure of what exactly to do as you just stared him directly in the eye. His dark eyes had a calming effect, however, as you felt your breathing even out and your heartbeat slow. This close to him, and being able to unabashedly look at him, you were entranced by the unearthly quality to his beauty. It should have been disquieting, this spectral vision in front of you, but you just found yourself drawn even closer in body and mind.

Then suddenly everything around you was darker, as if someone had dimmed your kitchen lights. The air was cooler too, and you had the suspicion that you were no longer in your kitchen. But you were still looking at Jaemin, just like you said you would.

He was looking right back at you, unflinchingly, and a fond smile crossed his lips before he announced quietly, “We’re here. You can look.”

And you finally tore your eyes from him to take in your new surroundings. It was dark, just like you’d noted before, as if it were nighttime. The room you were in had black floors, black walls, and at the very tippy top of the black vaulted ceiling, a black wrought iron chandelier with flames glowing... blue? But you couldn’t focus on the flickering up above you as Jaemin’s fingers entwined with yours and he gently tugged you towards the other side of the room.

“Come on, this way.”

It looked like you were maybe in an entrance hall of some sort. It was then that you spotted a large black throne adorned with silver detailing and embellishments at the front of the room. Jaemin kept walking right past it, though, down an adjoining hallway.

Your wide eyes that had been taking everything in turned downwards to your hand that was holding Jaemin’s. His skin was the usual coolness you had come to expect, and your fingertips brushed against the multitudes of rings on his fingers. Seeing the lone silver band on your hand, the one that he was holding, made your face hot for some reason.

You passed through another doorway into a dining room. It contained a large dining table crafted from dark walnut wood, the twelve high-back chairs around it made of the same. A deep red table runner went across the length of the tabletop, matching the upholstery of the chairs. A feast was already laid out, and place settings for two of the seats were prepared.

Jaemin let go of your hand to pull out a chair for you. You thanked him quietly as you sat down, eyes still scanning over the food options. He sat in the chair caddy-corner to yours, at the head of the table.

“Go ahead, Y/N,” Jaemin encouraged you as he reached forward to grab the bottle of wine that had been on the table as well.

“Everything looks... so good,” you said, not sure what to try first.

He uncorked the bottle, pouring the red wine into your glass first, then his. When he put the bottle down, you still hadn’t moved, too overwhelmed with all the delicious-looking choices.

“Do I need to make your plate for you?” He teased, already standing and grabbing your plate.

“This is good, you’ll probably like this one, oh you’re going to love this one, everyone likes that, mmm definitely not that,” he mumbled to himself as he loaded up your plate with food after food.

Your heart did flips as you looked up at him, the simple kindness of his actions making you feel warm despite the coolness of the Underworld.

Jaemin set your plate back down in front of you between your utensils, spoon on the far right, then the knife beside the plate, and the fork on the left. You waited for him to prepare his own plate of food, then finally be seated. When he’d finished scooting his chair up to table, he looked up from what he’d been doing, eyes catching yours, and a small, affectionate smile crossed his lips before he grabbed his wine glass. Then a wide, charismatic grin overtook his features as he held his glass out towards you, and you followed his lead, picking yours up to clink them together.

“To one month of… you and I. Thank you for agreeing to come here tonight, Y/N.”

‘You and I.’ His words both squeezed your chest and made it feel airy, like someone was inflating a balloon inside of it.

“Thank you for hosting tonight, Jaemin. And here’s to one month of…” you took a sharp inhale as you stumbled through your mind for any other word but couldn’t find one in that moment. “Us.”

You saw Jaemin’s pale lips softly, silently repeat the word before pulling into an alluring smirk.

And you each took a sip of the wine before digging into your food and kicking off the discussion. Over your month of dinners and nighttime socializing with Jaemin, you were used to your conversations meandering between the casual catching up of your workday to the serious contemplations of life and the universe. After all, if you were dining with a god, you were going to pick his brain for some philosophical inquiry. But on the days where some of the medical malpractice or domestic pro bono cases had hit you exceptionally hard and you wanted to leave well enough alone, Jaemin let you keep the topics light and surface level, keeping it at office gossip and the like.

Tonight though, with the special venue on your mind, you immediately delved into the existential, “So what are humans to you?”

“How do you mean?” Jaemin arched an eyebrow at your question.

“You’re a god. You’ve lived for thousands of years. You’ve seen millions of humans live and die. Surely, we all just kind of… blur together for you. Seem the same. Inconsequential.”

“No, not at all.”

“You’re just saying that because I’m here,” you teased before returning to your debate. “Most of us live and die without ever leaving a lasting impact on the world. Not that I think that’s necessary for having lived a meaningful or good life, I think that making even one person smile means that someone lived a good life. But in relation to you, a god, surely that makes us all indistinguishable from one another.”

“Is a play bad because it ends? Is a flower no longer beautiful because it will wilt? I think that humans and your lives are so intriguing because they’re finite.” He was as impassioned as ever when getting into your metaphysical dialogues— voice strong with resolve, leaning forward towards you earnestly, brow set just the slightest not with anger but determination, and hair falling into his onyx eyes that looked into yours without hesitation. “An incalculable but unquestionably limited amount of time, one chance, and each of you choose to live differently.”

“You still think that every human life is different from all the others?”

“Of course.” Apparently sensing that he hadn’t convinced you yet, Jaemin continued with an example, “Just look at you and your friend Jeno. Sure, the two of you converged pretty closely in college, but he made the choice to begin his career while you made the choice pursue higher education. Your two lives aren’t the same.”

“There’s also another major difference between the two of us.”

At the imploring tilt of his head, you deadpanned, “Only one of us made a deal with Hades for a third of our life.”

“An astute observation, Y/N,” Jaemin chuckled, relaxing back in his chair now that you’d changed up the tone of the conversation.

When both of your plates and glasses were empty, Jaemin took you by the hand once again to guide you from the dining room, as he apparently wanted to show you something. You emerged onto a patio of some sort, but that wasn’t what you were focused on. In front of you was a tree maybe ten or fifteen feet tall, an elegantly thin and sloping trunk, and along its many branches were round golden fruit the size of your palm. You couldn’t help the soft gasp that came from you as you took in the dazzling sight. Everything about the tree was normal from the texture of the brown bark to the dark green leaves, and even the dappling of the outer shell of the pomegranates that grew on it looked real, aside from the gilded color. It was magical, and you were happy just to know that something so beautiful existed.

“Thank you for showing me this, Jaemin,” you said, turning to look at the god who had stopped beside you.

You thought that he’d be looking at the scenery too, but his eyes were on you. He had a familiar look on his face, a small, tender smile pulling at the corners of his mouth, dark eyes holding a latent warmth like coals after a fire, and you felt tempted to get even closer to indulge in it.

But instead, you steeled your nerves to ask, “Why do you keep looking at me like that?”

Your tone wasn’t as accusatory as your words were, it was a sincerely curious question.

“Like what?” Jaemin was quick to reply with a question of his own, keeping his attitude light but genuine.

“You keep smiling at me with this soft little smile.”

“I keep doing it? When was I doing it before?”

“When we first got here, when you sat down at dinner tonight, and just now, when you brought me out here.” It had made your heart go haywire every time you noticed it, so you were able to list the instances from tonight off the top of your head. But that wasn’t all, there was a reason why it was imprinted into the back of your eyelids like a burned-out LCD screen, “It’s like… like… you want to kiss me.”

“I do,” Jaemin declared, eyes never leaving yours, voice never wavering, so damn sure of himself. Even as you were here in front of him feeling like you were nearly ready to rip your hair out from just a few little smiles from him.

He was always like this. So charming, so smooth, playfully talking around your questions. Pulling you along with him, dancing with you through your conversation. You had to meet him head on, even if it felt like you were going crazy doing so. You did it during your dinners, you could do it now too.

“Is that why you’re smiling at me like that?”

“Do you want me to? Kiss you?” He took a step towards you. For a brief moment he was all you could see, all dark hair, dark eyes, and silver earrings.

“I want to know why you look at me like that.” You stepped back from him, wrapped in the heady smell of his cologne. Cinnamon, bergamot, an earthy scent too maybe? Your head was swimming with it, but you needed to focus on the conversation at hand.

“And I want to know if you want me to kiss you or not.” Another step, once again narrowing the distance between you.

“I asked first, Jaemin,” you poked your pointer finger against his chest as a warning. “An answer for an answer.”

He stayed put, seeming to be fighting a delighted smirk from his face as he looked between your face and the finger you held up defensively between the two of you. Jaemin’s features relaxed as he clasped his hands together behind his back, looking into your eyes earnestly, “All of those times that I’ve been looking at you tonight, I was thinking to myself, ‘It feels like she’s come home.’ You just looked like you belonged here, in my home, with me. It felt like I belonged with you. And that made me want to kiss you. That’s why.”

Of all the answers you had been expecting, that hadn’t quite been one of them. Grand declarations of love were a faraway possibility, sure, you’d seen movies before. That’s not what this was, though. This was both more and less. You hadn’t anticipated for Hades’ answer to be so simple yet all-soul-encompassing as the idea of coming home. While everything tonight had definitely been new and unfamiliar to you, you hadn’t been intimidated or uncomfortable in any way. With Jaemin at your side, you’d been able to take it all in with wonder and an open mind, knowing that you had him right there watching over you.

“I believe you owe me an answer now too, Y/N.” Jaemin’s voice was quiet, low, meant only for you. “Do you want me to kiss you?”

Your gaze fell to the finger you had to his chest, your right hand. It had lost all the force you started with, limp and simply resting against him. You could see the silver ring there, and lower on your arm was the bracelet he’d given you, both pieces of jewelry glinting in the hazy light afforded in the Underworld. You briefly wondered if they had come from here, from deep under the Earth; if they’d come home tonight, too. The god in front of you remained silent, waiting for your response. If there was one thing Jaemin was good at, it was waiting— after he’d given you his final push.

Then you finally looked back up at his face, into the sunken obsidian black that greeted you there. That ever-stubborn lock of raven hair was hanging between his brows, and you had a sudden and smitten urge to fix it. But you had something more important to do in that moment. After all, he’d given you his answer, now you owed him yours. And you’d made up your mind.

Your mouth had barely started forming around your answer before it was captured by Jaemin’s in a kiss that was equal parts tender and ravishing. It felt like he was trying to devour your ‘yes’ right off your tongue and keep it all to himself. Admittedly, your head had started nodding before your vocal cords could work.

If you thought you were swimming in spices and citrus before, you were drowning in them now. Cinnamon, oranges, and… cedar. Your hand that had previously been poking at his chest was now crumpling the collar of his dress shirt, the other hooking a finger in one of the belt loops at the front of his slacks to yank him closer. His own hands were doing their part, too. One cupped your cheek while the other held you by your waist. The sweetest nectar was being dripped into your veins, and you hungrily took more and more with each wanton kiss from Jaemin.

When his lips finally parted from yours, you couldn’t help but steal just one more kiss. He let out a breathy chuckle as he clasped a hand over the one you were grasping at his shirt with to gently pull it off, his thumb then rubbing slow circles into your palm. His hand that had been on your cheek dipped to gently grip your chin, and as he looked at you, you knew exactly what he was thinking.

“I’m home,” you promised.

The shadowy man was back in your dreams that night, and this time the golden fruit was already in your two hands. He was encouraging you to break it open, feed on its juicy flesh that he promises will taste so good.

You woke up before you could follow through on the decision you’d already made.

⤷ series masterlist   ⤷ blog masterlist

[estrellami-1]

Soft Touch Baby

Pt 1 | Pt 2 | Pt 3 | Pt 4 | Pt 5 | Pt 6 | Pt 7 | Pt 8 | Pt 9 | Pt 10 | Pt 11 | Pt 12 | Pt 13 | Pt 14 | Pt 15 | Pt 16 | Eddie’s POV | Song | ao3

(Holy shit, y’all, FIVE parts and the notes STILL aren’t slowing down and I’m not even a Steddie/ST blog. Y’all are STARVED for content huh 😂)

Steve is confused, scared—terrified—and pissed off.

They’d made it. They’d been done with it. Done with all the Upside Down shit but it turns out the Upside Down wasn’t done with them, with him, because now they’re back and there’s bats everywhere and Steve can’t find his nail bat, come on, where is it, it was right here—

There. He lunges for it, wraps his fingers around the handle, feels the splinters pressing into his fingertips. One swing. One bat down. Hundreds, thousands more to go. He moves on autopilot, swinging and smashing and stomping and doing what he can. It’s not enough. It was never going to be enough, but he can’t just sit idly by and watch the world end.

“Dustin,” he yells, because he can see him, right in front of him, and there’s bats everywhere and why isn’t he listening, he’s standing, he’s alive, so why—

And then Steve sees. His bat falls from numb fingers. He doesn’t register as his fingertips begin to bleed.

A trash can lid, with nails imbedded in it like Steve’s bat. A hand, lying limp, not but a foot away.

Steve follows the hand up to the rest of the body, not understanding, not wanting to understand, but his eyes move up, up, up without his permission, landing on Eddie’s face, and he doesn’t recognize the sound he makes, doesn’t recognize that he makes a sound at all.

“Eddie,” he whimpers. “No- no, please-”

Eddie’s eyes are open, staring unseeingly into the distance, but when Steve speaks they slide over to focus on him. “Hey, Steve,” he says, and his teeth are bloody but he’s smiling and Steve’s dam breaks, and the tears come, and he’s falling to his knees beside Eddie.

“Hey,” Eddie murmurs, “it’s okay,” but no, that’s not right, Steve’s not the one dying, he shouldn’t be the one needing comfort—

“Steve,” Eddie says again, stronger this time. His hand twitches, and Steve all but trips over himself to grab it.

“Eddie, no, you’re-” he chokes on a sob. Knows what Eddie’s going to say. Knows he can’t hear it. “You’re okay, you’re gonna be okay, you just hold on.”

“Steve,” Eddie says again, even stronger, and suddenly bats are attacking, clawing at his shoulders and torso and back and they descend upon Eddie like one of those Bible plagues, and Steve’s screaming, trying to help, and they’re on him again and—

He sits up with a gasp, and something in the dark room skitters back, and he can’t hear anything above the sound of his own gasps. He’s looking around for his bat, but it’s behind whatever moved back, so he looks around for something, anything, eyes wide, throat catching in panic by the time the figure raises its hands.

The creature moves forward, cautiously, hands out, but Steve still can’t see what it is, and he presses against the headboard, watching in barely contained panic as the creature begins to step towards him, slowly, until it’s sat on the foot of his bed.

His eyes flick up occasionally, towards the face, but they’re backlit and their hair is long and curly and something in Steve’s brain is saying it should be familiar but right now it just blocks their face even more.

Eventually his breathing slows down enough he can hear again, the blood stops rushing through his ears, and oh, God, he knows that voice, but that’s not possible, he’s dead, Steve watched him die—

“Didn’t die, Stevie,” Eddie murmurs. “You saved me. Saved all of us. C’mon, come back. I don’t know where your brain’s taking you but I do know it’s not fun, focus on me, on my voice, on my breathing. Wanna touch me? Make sure I’m real? Whatever you need. I’m kinda following your example here.”

Steve’s breath hitches again, and his hands are trembling and his throat is dry and his voice cracks but it works. “Eddie.”

“Right here,” he promises immediately, moving closer to perch on the edge of the bed, and Steve all but collapses on him, burying his face in Eddie’s neck and sliding shaking hands around his torso.

Eddie’s hands come up to rub his back, hold his neck, and Steve could cry, is crying, trying and failing to hold back the tears, giving up when Eddie leans in close and whispers, “I’ve got you.”

Steve falls apart, trusting Eddie to pick up the pieces.

Pt 6

[tsintotwo]

(Part 5/ Bonus part of 4)

Aight. After the last post I totally had to check myself because I was under the impression that Junkhearts was the only movie of Tom’s I hadn’t yet seen, but apparently there was another one called Three Way Junction, AND I found another cameo (someone add these and Hello Apartment on Tom’s wiki, I can’t figure out a way to edit tables on there) (Edit: Took care of it.) A few wonderful people got in touch with this info, PLUS a bootleg link to watch the 1984 production Tom was in!! Just, THANK YOU folks, and you bet your ass I watched everything. Let me talk a bit about that before I move on to the links.

Junkhearts (2011)- War vet very kindly offers homeless girl shelter in his house, but her bad crowd (including her bf, played by Tom) comes along and invades his life. Tom is a Northern Irish boy in this (complete with the accent) and is the kind of dude who would walk into a situation and abuse everyone and everything. It blows my mind that this irl smol bean did so many disturbing/disturbed characters and did them SO well. He really makes the angel-faced-devil thing work. This movie is dark, and deals with heavy matters like PTSD and drugs. Be advised. Good movie tho.

Double Date (2017)- Do NOT ask me anything about this one, man, idk. Tom in a beard, hat, eyes rimmed in black liner, and with a fake rhinestone tear for 1:30 mins. I didn’t even hear what he said.

Three Way Junction (2018)- English architect (Tom) goes soul searching to Namibia, everyone he meets acts wiser than him, then he gets stranded in the desert. I will call this movie formulaic, but before that, let me acknowledge I was just getting comfortable, then it stepped on my throat and left me agonizingly invested for a good amount of time. The desert-stranded scenes, Tom almost dying from thirst and hunger, body switching off, face peeling from the sun, hallucinating, all alone… it was hard to watch, y’all (in a good way, I suppose). Tom gives it his all and it pays off, because by the end I wanted to scream along with him. The very end is, again, formulaic.

1984 on Broadway (2017)- Winston in the book: I am a 39 y/o gray dude,  oppressed and depressed, listen to my musings and experience about politics

Me: Of course! I am intellectually stimulated!

Tom’s Winston: *spits aggressively*

Me: Fu** me, daddy

Trust Tom fuckin Sturridge to make Winston Smith SEXY I AM SO UPSET (AND HORNY) *deep breath* okay. Olivia Wilde broke Tom’s nose acting this, he broke her tailbone. People fainted, threw up, and left the theatre. Need I say more about how intense this production was? And I abfuckingsolutely loved it, oh my GOD. This was a brilliant adaptation of the classic George Orwell novel imo, the changes they made were very clever. Tom is the MC, and in the beginning, he is confused and is just reacting to things rather than acting. But he gets more and more into it and then comes the last act- graphic torture scene of him that they recreated from the book. I understand why people left the room, y’all. I mean, I KNEW what would happen and by the end even I was like ‘fuck me, fuck y’all, fuck this, what the fuck’, and I could PAUSE. But this is how 1984 should be, imo. I’m not saying this just because I’m a simp for Tom: the work he’s done for this is extraordinary. It takes a special kind of actor to even attempt something like it.

[Edit: I've discovered Tom also appeared in Brothers of the Head (2005), a mockumentary-movie about conjoined twins who became rockstars. Tom might be in it for just the ten seconds around 55:00 that I could find him in.]

Now that’s all done, let’s move on to the links. I know most people may have seen most of these, but still may be of help to a few? And I’m making this for my reference as much as for anyone else anyway, so.

Interviews/Being Filmed:

1. We all know there have been sooo many interviews from the Sandman junket. Some of my favorite moments:

a. Tom talking about his experience in the glass cage here (4:15), here (2:00) and here (4:12)

b. Tom shows us (11:34) his button brickphone. An aside: I think he at least had a smartphone at one point- you can see him tapping one here (:10) and he mentioned in the giggly Sea Wall interview that he browsed Wiki on his way there, so… anyway, point is tho, it’s none of our fuckin business

c. Vivienne praises Tom so much that he clenches his fists and is out of breath. Aside: When people he’s less familiar with drop praises, he has no reaction. Like, not even awkwardness, zero reaction except a half smile, e.g. here (4:43), here (4:04) and here (10:11). I just think it’s a funny shy boi thing XD

d. Totally RANDOM, but I love his eyeroll (9:00)

e. Unexpectedly deep and amazing answer to what nightmare Tom would give other people (plus everything else tbh)

f. Tom insisting that eating only within 4 out of 24 hrs and exercising for 5 hrs each day for 3 months was ‘easy’ compared to actually playing Morpheus. This man is insane.

g. Tom stole the sand pouch and is so shifty about it lmao

h. I said this before: Tom and Morpheus are still totally separate in my mind, so seeing this BTS when he’s dressed as Morpheus but speaks as Tom is a reality-shifting experience for me every time. Also, in natural light the subtle eye makeup is really popping. God, this man would KILL it with smokey eyes!

2. I love animated talkers who are also articulate, they tend to be the best storytellers. Tom being just that in these Orphans (5:12) and Sea Wall (37:26) interviews (I recommend watching Tom in both in full, tbh)

3. Linking this Orphans interview because a. His eloquence and wisdom shine through and b. He’s looking sort of devastatingly pretty

4. Tom can play the piano!

5. Never seen a Brit giggle so much (I know I already gif-ed this but you gotta hear the SOUNDS)

6. Englishman struggles to speak English for half a minute straight

7. Tom’s workout vid for Sandman. Not to ogle, to appreciate the unholy amount of effort. You can also see the inconspicuous S tattoo on his back (for his ex, I guess). This man is wearing a hat in the gym... hair too long?

8. Far from the Madding Crowd interview because I need y’all to see this look

9. I like this 1984 interview ‘cause it’s interesting, been edited in a creepy way matching the content they’re talking about +Tom talks about not using a smartphone

10. Adding this to show how much Tom has grown, as we all grow. The ‘romantic’ experience he describes here, while startlingly honest, I can’t see him talking about now. He was a bit rough around the edges, a little awkward with his presence. I find that endearing and relatable, honestly, ‘cause I am VERY different in the way I present myself, speak, communicate now from a few yrs ago. It’s a process.

Fanvids:

Some of my faves here: 

1.      Best Sandman/Morpheus tributes 1, 2, 3, 4. Angsty king Morpheus. Cool Morpheus. 

2.      AMAZING Morpheus x Jessamy 1, 2 and 3

3.      Morpheus x Johanna 1 and 2

4.      Morpheus x Calliope 1, 2 and 3

5.      Me: I ain’t no Twilight fan and watched TVD only for Damon, vampires can suck it away form me. Also me: Watches this 50 times in a row. Edward x Morpheus

6.      Bruce Wayne x Morpheus

7.      WTF is going on and why do I love it: AU/Crossovers/Fancasts with Morpheus- 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7

8.      Will x Emma, Waiting for Forever

9.      Best Jake x Tess, Sweetbitter, 1 , 2 , 3, 4

10.      Best Alex x Nigel, Like Minds, 1 and 2

11.      Effie Gray x John Everett Millais, 1 and 2

12. + Tom in Remainder 

13. Carlo Marx, Carl (3 Way Junction), King Henry VI, Danny (Junkhearts)

Voice Work:

1.      Sea Wall audio

2.      Someone isolated Tom’s voice from the music in the Netflix podcast

3.      Tom reading two letters. This one by Henry James is emotional and I expected his passionate reading, but this one by Mark Twain- Tom was HILARIOUS! Please make him do more comedy.

4. Tom reading Wordsworth’s ‘A Complaint’

5. Tom as Morpheus- playlist of his dialogues isolated for each episode 

Miscellaneous:

1.      1984 bootleg (480p)

2.      Context: Someone made a t-shirt with Tom’s head on the boobs and wore it, which RPatz saw and mentioned in an interview. The whole thing is bonkers. Maybe I was having a slow day but I laughed for a solid minute at this lmao (but I’m a whole adult-adult writing 1500+ words posts about Tom, so maybe I should shut my mouth).

3.   (Later addition): Masterlist of fics I wrote. The Sandman/Morpheus and Sweetbitter/Jake.

I might be adding more if I remember new things, but this is it for now. I actually enjoyed writing these posts. It’s been real, folks.

[candyredmusings]

Drag Race Quotes That I Think About Constantly

Random assortment of things said in RPDR 

“Whores get paid ... I was a slut.”

“Your tone seems very pointed right now.”

“Oh y’all wanted a twist, eh? Let’s get SICKENING!”

“I WAS HIT BY A FUCKING CAR!”

“Tiny tops ... They crack me up! It’s like watching a four year old try to push a couch on their own.”

“IT DOESN’T GET BETTER. IT GETS WORSE.”

“You don’t have any talent.”

“You should not be here.”

“Let me ask you a very fair question. What do you do successfully?”

“Girl you’re a JOKE.”

“And I’m about to punch somebody in the face.”

“There’s ALWAYS time for a cocktail!”

“IT WAS RIGOR MORRIS GIRL!”

“LOOK OVER THERE!”

“I don’t have a sugar daddy. I never had a sugar daddy. If I wanted a sugar daddy, yes, I could go out and get one because I am WHAT? SICKENING! You could NEVER have a sugar daddy because you are not that kind of girl -- Baby everything I’ve had I’ve worked for and gotten myself I built myself from the ground up BITCH--”

“I don’t have a sugar daddy.”

“Baby everything I’ve had I’ve worked for and gotten myself I built myself from the ground up BITCH!”

“About five minutes ago, I looked over at [NAME] and realized they were ugly. And I’m at peace with that.”

“I didn’t mind I was just happy for the air time.”

“AAH! HAAA! I’m acting.”

“What the fuck is going on here on this day?”

“Jesus christ, white people scare me.”

“WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING BITCH?”

“That’s a question.”

“I’m serving you an adequate dress made of materials that is on my body.”

“We all make choices ... But that was a choice.”

“Her catchphrase is ‘you’re not my real dad and you never will be.’”

“If you hate it fake it make it into something less vile.”

“The planet’s dying - thoughts and prayers.”

“I’ve had it with you go the fuck home! I’ve had it, OFFICIALLY!”

“You wanted crazy? Well you got it now.”

“It was in all the magazines at the time.”

“JESUS CHRIST, the stress is just really getting to me.”

[NAME] YOU CAN FUCK ME IN THE ASS!”

“These are my summer diamonds ... Some are diamonds, some are not.”

“Not today, Satan. Not today.”

“I FEEL VERY ATTACKED!”

“Okay, public school, calm down.”

“[NAME]’s penis was so big, when I was doing a line of coke off of it I had to stop midway to catch my breath.”

“I feel sexy in anything, even a bodybag.”

“I tend to think that emotions are for ugly people.”

“You are so full of shit, the toilet’s jealous.”

“Act a fool girl. Act a fool.”

“She looks like Nancy Regan doing a magic show”

“Let me explain to you what a bitch is: Being In Total Control of Herself“

"You'll never be glamour."

“I'm pretty impressed... but not that impressed“

“Your outside is GORGEOUS, but your insides are dark and nasty. And I don’t like you.”

“Your outside is GORGEOUS, but your insides are dark and nasty.”

“You don’t love me.”

“HA! GET HER [NAME]!”

“SIT YOUR ASS DOWN AND SHUT THE HELL UP BITCH!”

“Did you or did you not come for me today?”

“I’ve had it. You know what I’ve had? It.”

“The level of unprofessionalism ... FAR too much.”

“Y’all told her on the internet it was funny. I blame y’all.”

“No you’re done and I’m gonna tell you why you’re done.”

“I don’t know what I think about that girl ...”

“What you wanna do isn’t exactly what you’re gonna do.”

“I’m a fucking legend! Bring me a Dr. Pepper and another lover, shit!”

“I love the way you think, but that didn’t make any god damn sense.”

“Quite the scandal actually. With my cousin-in-law, really. It was in all the magazines at the time.”

“She bonked so many boys down at the boogie down bronx they named a free clinic after her.”

“You know, I’m still a petty bitch, so from that day forward I said I would never utter the name, [NAME], again.”

“I may be old, baby, but I’m WISE.”

“She’s everything I wanna be when I’m 57.”

“I would CLIMB HIM LIKE A TREE -- I would need a ladder.”

[its-your-mind]

Y’all. I don’t think I’m ever gonna get over the emotional damage Calamity caused, but I think the thing I’m going to get over Least is my man Zerxus

Like. He was a paladin, but one whose belief in People, not a god, was what gave him his power and strength. He lost his husband in the line of duty, and immediately stepped up to fill Evandrin’s role because he knew that it was so vitally important. He met his son for the first time and immediately bonded with him, no hesitation, no second guessing. He has joined himself to a group of people who he truly believes want what is best for Avalier, and he gives them his full trust, despite the fact that all of them are the kind of people who hold secrets like jewels.

He had a dream that the world was going to end, that his son and husband were going to suffer (how could his husband suffer? he was already dead), and he chose in that dream to offer kindness to the being that had caused the destruction, but who was suffering, who was reaching out a hand for help, so Zerxus decided damn the consequences and whatever reasons the Dawnfather had for striking this god down.

When he met the Lord of the Hells (who looked like his lost husband) in the sickbed and found him suffering, helpless and dying, he didn’t hesitate to offer aid. He healed him and let him talk and share his hurts, with no goal beyond giving this being a small bit of the comfort he had clearly been denied. Only when he felt that this was the natural conclusion of Asmodeus’s words did he kneel, and invite him to kneel beside him, and begin to cast a Ceremony of Atonement. The Ceremony wouldn’t force the Atonement upon Asmodeus - it was there as an offering, an outstretched hand, a chance for Asmodeus to begin the road back to goodness, if that was what he wanted.

And Asmodeus is the Father of Lies. He had been watching Zerxus. He knew that the best way to entangle this man would be to expose vulnerabilities, to reach out a hand and ask for help, to offer up a story of poverty and misunderstandings and betrayals, because at the end of the day, Zerxus was, at his core, a good man whose belief in people was his power. He wasn’t looking for a project he could fix - he was always just looking to help anyone who asked for it to find their way back to compassion and kindness and peace.

Zerxus was shown time and again to believe with all his heart that anyone could be saved from their own evil choices, no matter how awful they were, as long as they truly were repentant. He didn’t offer the hand of friendship to every person or thing he fought - if someone was a threat, he struck them down without hesitation or remorse. And that’s why Asmodeus reached out in the way that he did - feigning a desire to be redeemed - because Zerxus would never strike down someone who was reaching out a hand towards him for help.

Even after it was clear that Asmodeus had betrayed him, had taken advantage of his kindness and slapped away his outstretched hand, Zerxus held fast to his conviction that everyone should be offered a chance to come back. Even as his skull is sprouting horns and his soul is being branded, he reaches out a hand to Vespin Chloras, a man who was so clearly being puppeted according to the will of another, and purified him, offered him a chance to undo some of the damage he had caused.

And y’all. Vespin didn’t run, didn’t try to figure out how to save himself - he used the few moments Zerxus had given him to give Zerxus more time, to do whatever he could to mitigate the horrible damage that Vespin himself had set into motion. Immediately after Zerxus had been betrayed by someone who had asked for help, he showed faith that a person could accept a path back if it was offered, and Vespin proved what Asmodeus had done his best to disprove - that anyone really can take a path back, so long as it is what they desire.

When Zerxus makes the decision at the end to stay alive as Asmodeus’s champion, he’s not doing it because he still thinks he can save Asmodeus. He gave up on that once Asmodeus revealed the truth about himself. Zerxus survives out of a hope that maybe, someday, someone will offer him a hand, offer him compassion, listen to his story, and give him a chance to atone. No one is too far gone to be saved from themselves, as long as some part of them wants to be saved. What kind of a hypocrite would he be if he didn’t believe the same thing about himself?

[averagewriter-inthedark]

Being a nurse & part of the Basterds | IB headcanon

Link to my IB masterlist

I ain’t having my mans Wicki & Stiglitz dying in that damn basement.

Being a nurse and member of the Basterds would look like:

First and foremost, all the guys are VERY protective of you. I’m talking if someone so much as breath’s wrong in your direction, they would no longer be breathing five seconds later. Most of them see you as a little/older sister and therefore would do anything to make sure nothing happened to you. For the ones who have feelings a little more on the ‘more than friends’ level, they would sacrifice themselves to save you if it came down to it. They’re all well aware you can pretty much kick anyones ass if you tried, but they still feel like they should be the one’s doing the ass kicking.

Aldo recruited you in his initial work of gathering the team. He needed to make sure that if someone went down or needed to be checked then a professional was there. You had been top of your nursing class, working the up ranks of the Army Nurses Corps that by the time Aldo offered you the position you were already a Captain. There was an automatic respect, not just because you technically outranked the boys, but because you were a hard worker, caring, badass, and didn’t take shit from anyone. Aldo could still remember the first meeting you two had in which he left the room thinking, “Them Nazi fucks ain’t ready for a woman like that.”

Of course your main job was to provide medical expertise for the guys. Not only did you tend to their wounds, but you also educated them for emergencies in case too many of them got hurt or you were at camp while some went into town. Wicki and Smitty were the ones who were most interested in learning. “You need to stop the bleeding first—are you watching?—good, then you clean it before disinfecting until finally you dress the wound.” Donny would sit and watch you teach for the hell of it, but never partake which greatly annoyed you. “Donny, what’re you going to do if it’s just you and I’m not there to help save your ass?” *shrugs* “Guess I’m fucked.”

As a member of the Basterds, you were expected to gift Aldo 100 Nazi scalps. And you always paid your debts. It took almost a year for you to accomplish the goal since you often stayed at the base camp. Once in a blue moon when they needed info out of a kraut, they’d haul his ass back to camp so you can do the honors. “Got a surprise for you, doll.” “How lovely for you boys to do such a thing.”

On the rare occasions you guys get to take a night off, you’ll wind up at a dance hall. It is obligation from there that you dance with every Basterd before the doors close for the evening. Donny is usually the first to drag you by the hand the second y’all arrive and from there you’ll either be passed to the next, or the sly basterds will cut in middle of the dance. It should also be mentioned that you’re the only person Hugo will dance with. The man will literally be approached by dames left and right, but simply gives them a look of ‘no thanks.’ Meanwhile all you have to do is bat your eyelashes and the Nazi killer is soft as a teddy bear.

God forbid you get hurt. The guys don’t know what the hell to do—save for Wicki and Smitty—so they’re cussing and yelling all around causing you more stress than you need. Eventually you’ll have enough and throw a roll of gauze at their heads to get them to shut the hell up. Wicki bans them from your tent while he works while Smitty provides you comfort. “Fuck how bad is it?” “The knife got you pretty deep, but it looks like it didn’t hit anything major. You’ll be in pain, but at least you’re alive.” You’ll then smirk and make some sly comment of, “well well, who taught you all that, doc?”

On top of being the nurse, you also take on the job of cutting the boys hair when it gets too long (Donny will also since mans is literally a barber) and inspecting their teeth. The scissors you had were for cutting gauze and stitches and shit, but you made the exception to give them hair cuts every few months. Thankfully you had family members who often came to you for hair cuts before the war, so you knew how to not fuck up there hair. And it was something the boys enjoyed because they got to sit one on one with you and relax. Sometimes it would even lull them to sleep.

When the team lost Micheal and Simon, you took it the hardest. After the ambush the guys hauled them back to you with hopes they’d make it. You did everything you could, using up the last of whatever materials you had to keep them alive but in the end their injuries were too much. When you knew there was nothing more you could do, one a time you took their hand and pressed a kiss to their forehead as they took their last breath. For days you stayed in your tent to cry from sunrise to sunset, usually with the rest of the guys taking turns to hold you.

In the beginning, you vowed you’d never let yourself get romantically involved with any of the basterds. This was both a professional and personal reason. Professional as you were their nurse (not to mention you outranked them), and personal as there was a war where everyday could be your last. The last thing you wanted was to fall in love and have to continue you on your own if something happened or vise versa. But the heart wants what it wants and it was no surprise when you eventually did strike up a relationship with one of them.

It wasn’t hard for the others to figure out who it was once they noticed the man (of your choosing) kept a close eye on you more than usually and would get jealous from time to time. Then on a mission where you were tasked to play a part of an unsuspecting French Nazi sympathizer to lure them to the Basterds, your lover was not forthcoming with letting you do it. “It is too dangerous, doll.” “Well that’s why I have you to protect me.”

When Operation Kino came to the team you were hesitant. Already you didn’t trust Von Hammersmark, but not because you didn’t doubt her loyalty to the allies. It was because you believed she wouldn’t put your team in harms way without realizing it. These were your men, your friends, your brothers, and then there was your lover. There was nothing you would not do to keep them safe. So when the shoot out sounded in the basement 20 minutes after Wicki and Hugo went in Donny had to basically tackle you to stop you from going down there. “Let me go, Donny!” “We don’t know if anyone’s alive yet—it could be a trap!”

After Aldo made the deal—to which the young Wilhelm met the end of Bridget Lugar, you guys recovered her, Wicki, Stiglitz, and Hicox and brought them to safety. All of them had been hit with at least 3 shots to various parts of their bodies so time was at the essence. Eventually y’all made it to a vet’s office where you immediately got to work on the four with the vet and Smitty assisting you in anyway he could. Heated and suspicious of Bridget, you refused to help her saying, “Get that bitch out of my face until you find out what the hell she’s up to.”

Luckily Wicki and Hugo —and even Hixoc though you were pissed at him for selling the team out, pulled through (which you probably would’ve went on a rampage if they didn’t). They needed to be cared for more and so you and Andy stayed at the makeshift infirmary you set up at the vet’s while the others went to complete Operation Kino. When Hirschberg came rushing back hours later covered in blood and frantic, “We gotta go!” you three helped your wounded basterds up and out of the place into some van Hirschberg had stolen.

When the war came to an end, thanks to your bunch of Nazi killing basterds, you walked hand in hand with your lover across the tarmac to go back home. The others met you with hugs and teasing remarks, but promises to keep in touch once you all went your separate ways. You weren’t sure what you’d do once you were back in the states. There was the option of staying an Army nurse, but part of you wanted something more. And with your brothers in arms and lover by your side, anything was possible.

[latenightsimping]

And if I only could, I'd make a deal with God

Summary: The afterlife means many different things, for many different people. Religions, faiths and beliefs all wonder what happens when you pass on. For Eddie, it’s finally going home.

Pairing: Eddie Munson

Word count: 2,080

Warnings: V ANGSTY NEAR CRIED WHEN I WROTE THIS YOU’VE BEEN WARNED, angst to fluff, heavy themes of death, heavy themes of pain and sadness, has a bittersweet ending to it, mentions of bad fathers, themes of bullying, themes of depression, themes of bereavement. just a real bad time all ‘round but it’s good at the same time? idk read at your own risk okay

AN: Had a breakdown, started working on it, bon appetite. I’m fully on the camp of ‘Eddie’s still alive and the Duffer Brothers are being very fucking mean arseholes by making us wait for two years’ but I like to think what Eddie’s version of Heaven is. And I think it would be this. Because for me, it would be seeing my Dad again. Aight I’m gonna start crying again. Anyway, enjoy. Love y’all, make sure to give yourselves aftercare if you need it. Also, before I leave, the inspo for this bit of writing is Placebo’s ‘cover of Running Up that Hill because it makes me sob. 

Eddie always figured that dying would hurt. And he was right.

He could remember sharp teeth tearing into flesh, the sickening sounds of ripping and chewing barely audible over the sound of his screams. It was as if he had been dipped in hellfire; bathed in the flames and forced to stay conscious for it all.

He remembered the tenderness that fuelled Dustin’s careful movements as he was pulled into the young boy’s lap. Looking up and thinking Thank God. Thank God I’m not going to die alone. The small part of him that was still aflame felt guilt. Here he was, after seeing so many horrors, now having to watch someone die in his arms. Dustin was too young for all this. A child in a veteran’s uniform, battle scars where medals should have adorned him. He wanted to say so much to him. Tell him he was proud, and that he was so sorry for bowing out so soon, and there wouldn’t be an encore. But all he could manage to force from his lungs, choking on his own blood, were the most important things that he could think of through the haze.

“I didn't run away this time, right?”

I’m sorry that it had to end this way. But I would do it again, if it meant you were safe. Please, just tell me I did the right thing this time. Tell me that I didn’t die in vain. That Chrissy didn’t die in vain. Please tell me that I did the right thing for once in my life, please.

“You're gonna have to look after those little sheep for me, okay?”

From the moment I first saw you in that Weird Al shirt, I knew I had to protect you from the worst this world had to offer. You were so scared, and I knew that feeling well. I didn’t want you bringing home bloody noses and crying yourself to sleep from the cruel words running through your mind on a loop, just like I did. But you’re going to have to do the same for others, okay? I know you can do it, Dustin. You’re so strong, and so kind. I just hope I helped you, that I did a good job protecting you.

“I think it’s my year, Henderson. I think it’s finally my year.”

For once in my life, I’m not a burnout that sells pot to make ends meet and can’t graduate. I saved people. I’m nothing like my old man, who would have turned tail the second shit went sideways. I did the right thing, for once in my fucking life. I can rest, knowing that. It’ll be okay.

“I love you, man.”

I love you. Thank you for staying with me, so I wasn’t alone in the last moments. That’s all anyone asks for, right? To not leave this world without someone watching over them? Soon, the pain’s gonna stop. After all, to die would be an awfully big adventure, wouldn’t it? I love you, man.

I love you.

The last words on his lips stained with cruor was a declaration of the warmth, care and adoration for one of his best friends. Before he was pulled into the blackness, a numbness, nothingness, seeping into his very soul that couldn’t be explained with the human language. Something that could only be experienced during the last moments of someone’s life. The smoke that rises from the candle of the soul when it’s snuffed out. The black sands of time, the last few grains meeting the bottom of the hourglass. His last words weren’t a complaint, or a curse, or a cry of anguish.

It was love.

It was love, as pure as the bright light that surrounded him, bathing him in a peaceful warmth. It was as if he had blinked, but more instant than that. It was as if he was always in this room. It took him a few seconds to recognise it.

He recognised the pale yellow walls first. He remembered his Mother singing along to Here Comes the Sun as she painted them, covering up the disgusting beige that was underneath it. Dressed in old overalls spattered with paint and a rag as a bandanna to keep her wild brown curls out of her face. Could remember being six years old, watching with curiosity from the covered up couch, and thinking she was the prettiest woman this side of the Wabash river. The way that she looked back and smiled at him, the corners of her eyes crinkling and her giggle sounding like silver bells.

She had dome everything to make this place a home, no matter how little money they had. She’d scrimped and saved for paint, and had traipsed around countless yard sales and flea markets for good furniture. Sure, the couch was a little lumpy, and the coffee table had a deep gouge running down the middle. But that didn’t matter when the home was filled with such earnest warmth and comfort. His old man had left by this time; had walked out in the middle of the night and never came home. And at so young an age, he knew he was truly relieved to see the back of him. Just him and his Mom, in this run down home that still had cracks, but was more than enough.

So what was he doing back here?

Looking down at himself, he could see he was wearing his favourite shirt, one that he had lost long ago. The faded Anthrax shirt that Wayne had bought him for Christmas, now without the tears of being flung around the Hawkins High parking lot during a brawl. Now, it was as pristine and soft as he had remembered. His most comfortable ripped jeans and sneakers, and his prized possessions of the leather jacket and battle vest fitting like a second skin. No blood, no bite wounds, no pain. He felt the best that he had ever felt. He even smelt of his favourite cologne.

The sounds of humming made his head snap towards the source; the kitchen. He knew the humming well. The melodies that had stopped the day she died, and no song had never sounded the same since. He thought he would feel fear, or confusion. But all he could feel was content. Like this was the place he was meant to be all this time, and the living world was only temporary. The confidence of that knowledge fuelled him to take the steps towards the archway, rounding the corner to be met with the figure he wanted to see so badly.

Wayne had always said that Eddie took after his Mom. And that was true. Who could deny the matching halo of curls, and the deep umber eyes? He had his father’s nose, but that was it. Everything else was purely her. And here she was. Harmonising her favourite song as she chopped up vegetables, the pale pink apron that he’d clung to so often as a child still tied around her waist. He took in her profile; the slight upturned nose and slightly parted glossy lips. His heart fluttered like a trapped bird in his ribcage, lips breaking into a grin.

“Mama?”

She turned her head to him, a slight look of confusion on her face for only a second before it became one of joy. The same little crinkle around her eyes that he remembered so vividly as she put down the knife and opened her arms, an offering for an embrace. “Hey baby,” she whispered, voice so soft and gentle that he could cry.

It was near automatic, closing the gap between them and throwing his arms around her. He was taller than her now, no longer having to wrap his arms around her thighs. Now, he practically towered over her, and he could bury his face into the crown of her head. She still smelled the same. Like lavender and roses, a scent that had long faded from his lungs now filling them. He held her so tightly that he was surprised he didn’t crush her, but he couldn’t stop. What if she was going to go again, leave him all on his own like she did ass those years ago? But if she had any complaints, she wasn’t voicing them. Tears welled in his eyes, and he squeezed them shut to stop them from falling. “Mama, I… I missed you so much.”

“I missed you too sweetheart,” she mumbled into his chest, slightly pulling away to look up at him. Her eyes flickered over all his features, a grin spreading across her face as her hands came up to cup his jaw. He leaned into it, savouring the warmth of her palms. “God, I- look at you,” she chuckled, the pad of her thumb coming up to carefully caress the skin just under his eye. “You’ve got so big, huh? Still the same handsome face, though.”

He couldn’t stop the chuckle that bubbled from his chest, too scared to even blink in case she was going to vanish. “It’s been twelve years, Mom. And I missed you. Every single day.”

“I missed you too baby,” she whispered. “But… You’re here so much earlier than I thought. What happened?”

He shook his head, taking a few deep breaths to steady himself. She was still there. This was all real, and she wasn’t a figment of his imagination. He thought reality was the last life, but this… All his senses seemed to work so much better. He could smell the comforting scent of his Mother, could smell his favourite meal – one that he hadn’t had in thirteen years – being cooked on the stove that only she could work just right. He could feel her soft hands on his face, the sensation grounding him. Could see her beautiful features that mirrored his own, looking up at him like he hung the moon. That past life all felt like a horrible nightmare, one that he was just waking up from. One that he didn’t want to tell her about just yet.

He shook his head slowly, a shy smile flitting across his lips as he rubbed his fingers over the small of her back, enjoying the feeling of her soft cotton dress against his skin. “I’ll tell you later.” Later, he figured, could mean any time in the future. And he had the feeling that he would be here for a joyful eternity. “Is this Heaven?”

“I think so,” she nodded, her hand coming up to brush errant hairs away from his face. “And my Heaven just got better, now you’re here with me.”

His chest tightened, and he couldn’t stop the heaving sob as he hugged her again, holding her so close as if he was trying to pull her into himself. Burying his face into her neck, inhaling her perfume as if he would never smell it again for the second time around. It wasn’t sadness, though, that fuelled his cries. It was happiness. Pure, unfiltered joy, that he finally had what he always wanted. What he wished for every single night, especially when the day had been hard.

He had his Mama back.

“Ssh, none of that,” she cooed, a gentle chide as she rubbed his back soothingly. “I’m here, baby. I’m here for you, okay? I’m not going anywhere. I promise.”

“Pinky swear?” he mumbled, causing the woman to softly laugh. To the two of them, a pinky swear had been stronger than any laws. It meant that the one promising would move mountains, just to make it happen. He hadn’t made a pinky swear for so long. Not ever since it didn’t feel the same, when her delicate little finger encircled his.

“Pinky swear,” she echoed, pressing a kiss to his temple.

If this was Heaven, this was the perfect final act. He had the only person that he truly wanted more than anything in this world, back in the home where he knew love without a price tag. No more bruises and broken bones, or cruel words with such abundance that he could drown in them. No more knowing cold, or hunger, or hardship. No more loss and anguish, no more mourning.

He knew it, deep in his gut. Now he was here, all that negativity would be washed away. It was all worth it, to finally be here.

It was finally worth it to be home.

[gerrydefault]

casper please…..

da fucking eurosport putting ads while the second set already started ??? criminal

why is fritz playing good? when that happened?

the commentators always talking about dimitrov are so me coded

in 30 min rune/zver*v match starts y’all better moveeeee

casper hun do something…..

WE ARE SUFFERING I WANNA DIE

JEU RUUD✨✨✨✨

we are 1 game to 4 against fritz……………………….

djoko-cerundolo it’s taking forever (djokovic won)

iga is right i hate this crowd shut the fuck upppppppp

FUCK RUNE/ZVRV IS ABOUT TO START

my fucking god somebody kill me

OKOKKKK OK CASPY OK

CASPER OMG AAAAAAAAAAAA BEAST MODE🇳🇴🇳🇴🇳🇴🇳🇴🇳🇴🇳🇴🇳🇴🇳🇴🇳🇴🇳🇴🇳🇴🇳🇴🇳🇴

(i hate eurosport so much)

OK I AM OFFICIALLY PRAYING FOR RUNE

my fucking god I feel ushehdhegeg

no comment on both sides

ALRIGHT CASPER 💞💞💞💞🇳🇴🇳🇴🇳🇴🇳🇴

2 to 3 for RUNE LETS GO🇩🇰🇩🇰🇩🇰🇩🇰🇩🇰🇩🇰

the whole zvrv family should be locked in

OH RUNE THE GUY YOU ARE

imma about to explode

FIRST SET RUNE AND 1 GAME FOR RUUD TO WIN????? OMGGGGGGGGGG I THRQHQRHTWJQTJQTJQRHQRHQDH🇳🇴🇳🇴🇳🇴🇳🇴🇳🇴🇳🇴🇳🇴🇳🇴🇩🇰🇩🇰🇩🇰🇩🇰🇩🇰🇩🇰🇩🇰🇩🇰

MR RUNE I LOVE YOU

my god 5 5 I want to exit life

MY FUCKING GOD HOLY SHIT

holy shit it feels like ages I am watching this match 😭😭‼️‼️‼️‼️

Cmon you danish kiddo CMONNNNNNNN

HOLGER👏🏻 HOLGER👏🏻 HOLGER👏🏻

JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA🇩🇰🇩🇰🇩🇰🇩🇰🇩🇰🇩🇰🇩🇰🇩🇰🇩🇰🇩🇰🇩🇰🇩🇰🇩🇰🇩🇰🇩🇰🇩🇰

I AM DYING RIGHT HERE

I previously said I hated the crowd I was joking I LOVE YOU ALL

life is sufferance, I can’t take it no more

my fucking gooooooooooooooooooooooooooood

my fucking god…..

rune, holger babygirl don’t give up on me

a tragedy

i hate roland garros

[monkeybell]

-This is the walking dead so throughout my watch, there will be mentions of death, violence, blood, heavy topics, etc. Will do my best to post any potential triggers just in case and don’t plan on mentioning stuff I’m not comfortable with myself

TW//: Death(?)

Episode 1: it’s cursed seeing Rick look so young and clean. My favorite seasons are 3 and 4 so I’m used to him looking rougher and with a big beard. I’ve rewatched season 1-4 so many times. They are honestly my favorites and I tend to watch them when I’m having a hard time. But this time around, I’m finally gonna watch all of the seasons, watch ones I’ve never seen before and will write down as I do! So I hope you enjoy my rambles and stuff

It’s cool that the first walker we see is a variant one. Chilling it’s a kid who still recalls her teddy bear. Also love how the actor came back a couple seasons later! Love the theme song. It’s honestly a banger. Seeing Rick and Shane then and now is like that incredibles meme. Gets so much deeper and dark. Might as well admit now that I’m not that big on Shane tbh. He has his moments but dude was fucking nuts. Also Shane with hair > Bald Shane. Bald Shane looks cursed, just like Rick for me. I do love his actor though. Dude seems like a genuine guy and I love watching that one panel him and Norman do where Norman plays around with the microphone

Holy shit. Those spikes meant to pop the tires made their car flip multiple times? Is that what is supposed to happen? Well Rick, unfortunately I think Shane is gonna have to tell Lori now. I can’t remember if they ever say how long Rick was still asleep for after shit went down. Miracle he potentially went a while without an IV and oxygen. Damn the water still working too? I honestly would’ve just stayed in the room lmao. I mean I would’ve died still but hey, the hospital beds can be pretty comfortable. Ah yes, the iconic message. “Don’t dead. Open inside.” Guess we should open it! /j

Ew they got long and crusty finger nails. Nasty. Rick is me when I emerge from my bedroom at 2pm. Dying from the light and confused as fuck. Imagine Rick was just hallucinating and he was walking around in public looking like that. Oh yeah it’s that biker walker. I remember reading their story was explained in something? Anyone know where I can watch those? The sad OST always gets me. Just hearing it makes you wanna cry, especially when you remember moments when it’s played later on

Here comes the kid with the shovel. Morgan let’s go! The man himself. Tempted to watch Fear just because he’s in it. Tried watching it in the past but for the life of me can’t get past the first few episodes. They are so long and boring

I love how even in the hardest of times, they can still laugh. God the variant walkers freak me the fuck out. Their mom trying to unlock the door. Ngl, if it was the end of the world, I would take my Pokémon cards and plushies. And I would loot through stores looking for more cards lmao. And also things people wouldn’t think to use as weapons. Just imagine if you will, a nerf gun. Add something sharp into the foam bullets, shoot and there you go. Something when I’m having a bad day, I just imagine Daryl using one and I feel better pfft. If someone writes one of the characters or an OC using one, a thousands respects

I love how we see people at the quarry that just vanish and are never seen again. And I think one of them had a baby too? That’s dark when you think about it. Either the writers forgot or the baby canonically died. Smol Carl. Aw Horsie. Sad how horses always seem to get screwed over in shows like this. Not to mention Attack on Titan

That shot of Atlanta with all the cars abandoned goes so hard. God that huge hoard. Freaky shit. That scene of Rick struggling after shooting in the tank is pretty similar to that one breaking bad gif meme.

And that’s episode one! Since it’s longer, I only did it for today. See y’all Thursday!

[nasuversekinkmeme]

Weekly roundups: prompts

Tsukihime

Smut, I want that anemic twink Shiki spitroasted by Arcueid and Ciel in some odd competitive threesome thing the two got going on

Show mercy on my soul. Femboy Akiha.

Fate/Stay Night

FGO

Smut, For as much as they want her 'spear', I think Morgan should introduce Gudako and Da Vinci to it-- that is, can we have her cock vore the two of them?

Smut, incest, Karna and Vritra team up to edge and overstim Arjuna until he cries

jeanne gets some well deserved karma for her big sister beam brainwashing .

Yknow how Nobukatsu gloats over the REAL Nobunaga saying he is nothing like his as he lays dying from the poison he gave him? Something similar but this time Mitsuhide is the target and he made sure the poison was just right that it would take a very long time for him to die as he watches Or he just stabs the guy I dunno Nobukatsu deserves to kill more people

Morgan is Bored and demands carnival rides be built in Fae Britain. Entertainment ensues.

Noncon, incest, Summer Avatoria having a soft fulfilling romance with Muramasa as people who are tied by fate thrice over. Meanwhile Summer Castoria would LOVE to stop waking up filled with cum from a man she considers ber grandfather. The downsides of sharing a body you know how it is (feel free to play it as lighthearted or fucked up as you wish)

Asclepius becomes a therapist because dear God do some of these servants (and staff) need help and somebody's gotta be the counselor.

Noncon, Elaine of Carbonek, the raging bitch who raped Lancelot and mother of Galahad, is summoned. If you thought Galahad resented his FATHER, y’all ain’t seen nothing yet. Mash has to be physically restrained when Elaine refers to her as “Junior.” (Technically, Galahad would be Galahad Jr, if Lancelot ever went by his birth name. I am an Arthuriana nerd.)

Emiya realizes that Ritsuka mission are becoming too dangerous, so he locks himself there with her, she can left whenever she wants, as long as she is able to do a simple task, with all the knowledge and weapons she gathered from her servants she must kill him, proving she has become strong enough to be the protector of humanity

Salieri gets a Summer form, where instead of being the amalgamation of the rumours of who killed Mozart, he's the amalgamation of the myths of the Maenads who tore Orpheus apart.

First Hassan and Shiki killing increasingly improbable and abstract things as a friendly contest. Escalating from “the tension in the room” to Barghest’s desire to eat her loved ones” to “Artoria’s resentment of Mordred” to “Wednesdays.”

Continuation of the Grand Carnival joke: Atalanta has to marry Kingprotea, BB is in charge of organizing wedding and the rest of the Sakura Five are bridesmaids aka have to make sure Atalanta doesn't escape.

Blackbeard, Absolute Disgusting Degenerate that he is, is well aware that his kink is not everyone else's kink, and so after finding some improperly tagged Smut or Hentai, decides to make a video about the importance of tagging, what it means, and how to do it, because tagging your shit properly means that everyone can enjoy themselves in peace, so long as they use the blacklist. (This just kinda came to me TBH, Cause Blackbeard just kinda feels like he'd take proper tagging very seriously given everything about him.)

Fun fact: "thou" and "thy" and such were actually the informal register - "you" and "your" were the fancy, polite terms. Therefore, someone should write a fic of First Hassan trying to seem hip and chill and failing catastrophically because his understanding of what counts is hundreds of years out of date.

UDK Barghest gets hired to Put out a Fire (Read: Help Melusine with her Draconic Heat). Whether it goes full smut or if it goes in a comedic non sexy route is up to the author

Smut, Yu Mei-Ren has Hella Gay Sex with her Summer Variant. (Not NTR, though I'm not sure who all would consider it such anyway since its self on self.)

One of the Draconic/Lizard Servants installs a heat lamp in their room, because if you've got a tech wizard who will do anything for you, why not? After approximately 10-ish seconds of "why didn't I think of this before" from all the other Dragon-type servants, everyone immediately rushes to said room. Ensue dogpile of like, 20 lizard people (including Oberon and Rasputin for some reason??? gotta love traits) whether this is horny or not is up to the writer.

Smut, On their big day, a bride is stressed about the whole event and is this close to calling it quits. Habetrot can't have this so obviously there's one solution: cocksleeve time!

Barghest is openly lamenting in the hallway about how she can never be close to master or anyone else she loves bc of her bestiary nature and how she wishes she could keep herself in check. Scathach hears this and goes "Say no more" and puts her in a collar leash and muzzle. She's trained dogs before

Gudako tries her hardest to be Titania for Oberon. Oberon has Opinions about this. (I'll leave it to the prompt filler if these opinions are Positive, Negative, or Mixed.)

What started as a tiny fight "for charity" between Hektor and Achilles soon turns brutal as Achilles starts to truly want to kill Hektor. Paris, Manricardo, Alexander, and even Penth try to step in to stop him

Some asshole tries to threaten Guda only for them to reply and I quote "I'm not scared of Death, we have Tea on the weekends" Smash cut to them actually having tea with King Hassan, Eresh and Shiki. Whether Guda got hurt or not by the threatener ill leave up to the author.

How did Mel get access to Nemos aircraft carrier? Mysteriously kiss-covered Nemos refuse to answer (Note: all of em are adults)

Fun fact: Sastoria's NP is most effective against Summer Hokusai as she is both Chaotic, Divine, and a Threat to Humanity. Sooooo one-sided jealousy where Sastoria hates Saber Hokusai and Hokusai can't figure out why

Because I don't think we'll see him this summer. What summer side adventure is Kadoc doing? Who with him is you to the author.

Melusine's dragon nature means she likes building a hoards of all the things precious to her. now that she feels comfortable in Chaldea she can't help but gather all the people she likes to cuddle together with in bed with. Who ends up in her cuddle pile is up to y'all

Vlad is talked into going on a boat ride to relax. Everyone on the boat is very uncomfortable with this

Anything involving Ritsuka having extreme mommy issues

so Chloe's whole... thing... is "justified" in-universe as she needs magic to stay stable, so she gets it by doing... that. Ergo, I want to see something where she's summoned in Chaldea and thus hooked up to a stable magic supply, so she doesn't have to do that anymore and gets to actually Process and maybe just Be A Kid instead.

Other

I kinda just wanna say “Galehaut” and watch what the Fate fandom does with the idea of the half-giant king that only didn’t overthrow Camelot because he wanted to bone Lancelot. So I will.

Kinks are known to suddenly appear and develop with age, so: Older version of a servant helping unlock a kink for their younger self

can we get some consensual hypnokink content, perhaps? maybe someone has a kink for being hypnotized and wants so badly to hand over control for a little bit, or they're nervous about performing well during sex and just want to be more assured in themselves! how and why it's done is up to the author/artist as well as the characters, so long as there is consent established!