#my last years mermay is around here somewhere

[meili-sheep]

Since it's May, how about merman diluc

You are absolutely right.

And mermaid Diluc is much like young Diluc. Energetic, a lot chaotic, and well, and a little on the shy side, is always welcoming and friendly to anyone in trouble. And well, he's saved more than his fair share of fishermen; he also loves chasing away their catches. People don't know that he lives in their waters, but there is s rumor that if you give the sea an offer before you fish, you'll end up with good catches. His brother and father have the hardest time keeping Diluc in the depths.

Now you might be like... So Kai, what's your ship for this. WELL, I GOT 2 DIFFERENT FLAVORS FOR YOU.

Flavor one. Albeluc. Albedo is a researcher looking into the rumors in his cove and ends up finding an excellent painting spot. And while he's painting, he catches Diluc jumping from the water. And now Albedos look for Diluc wanting to paint him.

Flavor two. Chiluc. Childe is a causal fisherman who is new to the area and can't catch anything. One of the other tells him to give the see an offering. Childe doesn't really believe it and just offers like a stick or something, which instantly gets thrown back at his head. And he catches a glimpse of red hair and a smirking smile before swimming off. And now Childe is trying to catch the creature that keeps chasing away his catches.

[mrsrookhunt]

Not me forgetting its Mermay until the last day of May. Anyway, idk if it really counts but now I don't have time for plot planning so have an Azul X Reader.

I really love the idea of present day chubby Azul. Maybe he gained weight over stress, I'm not sure. But you still think he's more than adorable when you see him again a year later.

Leave Me Be

Chubby!Azul Ashengrotto x Reader

Warnings: Angst, Self-shaming, Depression, reader is probably also chubby but maybe I'm just projecting

Traveling to the deepest depths of the Coral Sea was less than easy. Honestly, the amount of potions and formulas you had to drink from weaker mages made you feel like shit. Azul could've done far better for you, but upon your accidental return to Night Raven College through some portal you'd found in a puddle, you'd found that he'd left the school and decided to take a year for himself at home.

You were shocked, but there wasn't much you could do; he wasn't returning your messages. You waited a couple of weeks for school to let out, and had Jade and Floyd take you to his home.

You quickly found out that Azul had moved out of his family's home, into the outskirts of town, apparently, according to the rumors, depressed and ashamed of himself.

Alone, with Jade and Floyd already gone to their own destination, you swam unguided to where you hoped was at least the general direction of his new home.

The other Mers had said his home wasn't easy to miss, but for someone as unsuited to water as you, particularly in these dark depths, a serious worry that you would get lost ruminated in the back of your mind.

Around 30 minutes of aimless swimming later, you saw a dim light in the gloom.

It seemed to glow a dim purple, somewhere off in a hole in the side of a massive rock formation.

Bracing yourself to swim upwards quite the distance, you realized just how massive this wall of rock and sediment was.

It was just a guess.

No one had mentioned Azul's home as being on the human equivalent of a mountainside. But then again, it didn't seem like many people had visited him. They spoke strongly of his gloomy, irritated demeanor, and unwillingness to use his magic anymore. It seemed that shortly after he moved, he began rejecting visitors all together.

You pulled yourself along the rough rock wall with your hands, following the light, which became clearer and brighter the closer you swam.

It was just a guess, but you were certain if there was any place the Azul you knew would hide, it would be far away from others, holed up in a spot where he'd be safe and unbothered.

The relatively small opening to the cavern you were less than a few feet from fit the definition to a tee.

Maybe 12 feet across both directions, the mouth of the cavern felt tucked away.

You took in a deep breath when you reached the edge, seeing the gauzy purple light brighten from within, relishing the strange feeling of water filling your lungs instead of air.

"Azul?" You called out, unsteady and feeling small in the vast ocean around you, hands still tightly gripped on the rough rocky surface.

A small flurry of bubbles, and the light turned off with a tick.

"I'm not accepting visitors at the moment." A voice called from within, annoyance pricking every syllable.

You sighed and valted yourself into the entrance of the cave with relief, not going any farther.

"Did you not hear me? Step out of my home, I have not invited you here!" His tone was sharp and outright angry.

You couldn't see a thing in the dark now, but you could feel the soft swish in the water of Azul's swift movements nearby.

"Zullie, it's me." You called into the dark, feeling unsettled.

A silence seemed to fall over the small space.

"...Yuu?"

His voice shook, a little weaker than he had clearly intended it to come out.

"I've missed you." You said tentively, hoping he would turn the light on already.

"Why are you here?"

His voice was composed and sharp again.

"W-well," it was your turn to stutter. He seemed almost angry that you were here. "I found a portal back to school and.. I found out that you had left, and I just..." Though you tried to keep yourself together, tears began to flow freely into the ocean. "I couldn't leave you alone. The first person I went looking for when I came back, was you."

You could hear the heavy breathing from what you could now identify as across the room.

That swish of movement again, and--

"Leave me be."

"What-?"

"You heard me." He sounded solemn. "Go, Yuu. Go back to school, or go back home." His voice was softened and shaky; you could hear small sniffles.

"Azul, please, I've missed you so much!" He must have heard the panic, the hurt in your voice, but he only sank deeper into the depths of his cave.

"I don't want you here." He mumbled. "I don't want you here, and I'm not coming back to school either. Don't wait for me."

"Zullie, please! What happened? What's made you like this?"

"You have," He grumbled into the waves.

Your voice dropped to a whisper. "Me? What did I do?" You sat at the edge of the cave.

He didn't respond.

"I'll sit here until you tell me," you warned, in a voice softer than you thought you could manage.

The silence answered you.

"Azul.. I'll go. Just, listen for a moment. I'm sorry if I hurt you... I.. I really missed you. I'm so, so sorry, I'm--" You were crying into your hands at this point.

A single tentacle wrapped around your arm and gently tugged it away from your face.

"It's not your fault.. I shouldn't have hidden it from you. Yuu.. there was something I neglected to tell you before you left. I.. love you. And I didn't tell you. And I've regretted that every day since. I didn't think I would ever get the chance to tell you again."

The tentacle tightened around your arm.

You wiped your tears away, a wry laugh escaping from your mouth amongst the remnants of sobs.

"That's.. what I regretted too. I didn't tell you either.. I love you too, Azul."

You crawled closer to embrace him.

The tentacle rapidly whished away, and you heard him scoot back. You stopped in your tracks.

"..Azul?"

"Yuu.." You could hear the pain in his voice. "It would still be better if you left."

"Absolutely not! You can't j-just confess and expect to escape it now!" You protested. "I've missed you for far too long. Please, I don't want to leave you right now."

You grasped in the dark, coming into contact with a tentacle you gently pulled toward you, sensing Azul moving closer with it.

"You.. you won't like me anymore." His voice is breathy and he sounds pitiful.

"Who said that?"

"You don't understand... I'm not.. what you remember."

"What does that mean?"

"I look different."

"Your mer form, you mean? I've seen it before."

"No.. I looked different in.. other ways."

"...What do you mean?"

The air that hung between you was dampened by the cold, lonely feeling of sadness.

"I used to be fit, and beautiful, for a time... but I couldn't keep that up after you left. Now I'm just a disgusting remnant of who I was when you knew me. I've done nothing but indulge myself in treats, forgotten all about ideal caloric intake, I've not exercised or--" His voice was tangibly anxious, fast and unstable. You could guarantee his eyes were glazed over with tears.

You squeezed the tentacle you were holding tighter, watching him quiet as he wrapped it around your hand, shaking and softly crying.

"Azul, are you trying to tell me that you've gained weight?"

"I look disgusting."

You cast your eyes downward with solemn understanding. "I doubt that, Zullie. I can't imagine you could ever look anything other than perfect in my eyes." Your voice was whisper quiet, but his breath still caught at the sentiment, whimpers lessening as you gently ran a finger back and forth over his suckers to calm him.

"Don't hate me." He muttered, suddenly pulling away from you and shuffling to the other side of the cavern again.

Click

The light revealed your beautiful octo-mer, still as wonderfully entrancing and gorgeous as you'd remembered.

He took your breath away. You could hardly even see any imperfections, even now. His stomach was rounder, his arms were less toned, his jawline was softer and his tentacles looked more full than before. But he was still the most beautiful man you'd ever lain eyes on.

His icy blue eyes were filled with tears you couldn't overlook, and before he could say another word, you launched yourself upon him in a tearful embrace, soothing him with soft whispers while your tears intermingled with his into the open ocean.

His tentacles wrapped against you, words of love and passion falling from both your lips.

You put your hands on each side of his face, guiding him to look into your eyes.

"Azul, I don't see any difference. You're still you. And I love you because of the Azul up here--" you pushed a finger at his forehead. "Not because your body has changed. I love you, Azul. And I won't leave you again."

He buried his head against your neck.

"I love you, I love you so much, Yuu..."

"Zullie.. I'm here to stay. Do you hear me? I'm never leaving you again."

He pulled you tighter to him, sobbing once again.

"Thank you... thank you for coming back, Angelfish."

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May 31st, 2023

Yeah, this was healing, I know I'm not fat but damn I feel horrible about my body :(

-Kaori

[yandere-sins]

So I thought I’d give a little life-update as there’s a lot going on at the moment and I think it’s visible on my blog as well. Maybe the positives first:

I do really like my new work, I like that I have set hours (even if I do overtime here and there) and though it got incredible stressful the last few weeks, I think the four people that work in my office space are the coolest in the whole company and I love the support I am getting, it’s something I always wanted for my work-life tbh! My dog is also doing very fine, she’s really a total sweetheart and I wouldn’t know what to do without her, and at least I, myself, am doing pretty okay-ish physically, so nothing to complain there.

Now to the negatives.

Unfortunately, my mom’s cancer returned but is quite hard to pinpoint. She went back to an even more aggressive chemotherapy and we’re hoping for the best. Honestly, I don’t wish cancer on anyone, it’s such a tough battle and even just as the primary caretaker it’s been really hard to deal with for me, luckily I have grandparents and a brother who all deal with it and help and support, so that’s good! My mental health though is suffering. It’s biting my own butt now, but I cancelled therapy to focus on work at the beginning of this year and now my therapist is fully booked, so I will have to sit out this month probably. I am telling that because that’s the reason I am struggling with concentrating on one thing for a long time, which includes writing, which explains the fluctuation of posts you are seeing, since I try to get requests and drafts done on the weekend when there’s less stress. Sadly only works like 30% of the time...

Going forward I have decided to indefinitely pause commissions. I have noticed that they put too much pressure with the deadline and expectancy on me when I am already struggling and sometimes need a day to myself. I can’t say when they’ll come back, but thank you all so much for your interest and support, it’s always a pleasure to write your ideas and I never had a bad experience with commission ♥

Good news for Mermay: it’s still happening! ... buuuut I am shortening the story I came up with. I think I was too ambitious with the three routes I teased, so I am trying to figure out how to ensure that it won’t drag out as much as Atreo’s story last year. Unfortunately, the start will be delayed some more, but we were going to celebrate Mer-June anyway, so at this point it probably doesn’t make as much difference (’:

Because the question arose a few times already, I will not be playing Honkai Star Rail. It has a few reasons, but the main one is I don’t have the time. Sorry to everyone who asked about it, but it’s just not the right time for me at the moment! ): I’ll probably be miserable again later when everyone has moved on to it and I am stuck behind but I have to make cuts somewhere ;;

I actually have some commissions and requests that I haven’t released yet, so I will try to schedule some of these in the meantime while I work out how to go about stuff. If you’ve been around for a while you probably know I like routines that’s why it’s always important for me to build them and keep them up. Other than that, I’ll probably focus on Mermay and my own writing projects which will happen rather irregularly. No guarantees on posting, sadly ):

I do realize tho that it just isn’t always possible to keep up frequency of posts and interactions I had when I started this blog, as much as it saddens me. I have to prioritze my real life before my internet presence (and I really need to not feel guilty about taking breaks from everything ever so often ;;), so if you see me vanishing for a few days, it’s just that really.

Thank you everyone who stuck around and supports this blog ♥ There’s another big milestone coming up veeery soon and I am always in awe that so many people would stay to read my silly little stories!! If you have some time and don’t mind waiting for a response, I’m always happy to chat and answer questions, so please don’t hesitate to hit me up!

Thanks everyone ♥

[hiddendreamer67]

Giant Mers are Good Mers

That's right, it's MerMay baby! Introducing my new bois. Caspian is a giant siren with influences of Mediterranean monk seals and leopard seals. Beckett is a lil' human who was in the wrong place at the wrong time. This piece is a completed oneshot, but I've got a couple ideas for more oneshots with this pairing, including a few ideas for alternate universes (especially after seeing all the fun @ibis-gt seems to be having with AUs of their bois).

Word count: 6,001

Initial prompt idea: human was taken by a giant siren but then let go (on a whim / siren got bored) but human doesn’t know why they were spared so they come back to thank the siren. The siren doesn’t even remember doing that because it was such an insignificant event to them, but now it’s interesting because humans never came on their own.

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Beckett had always been a simple fellow. He grew up in WhiteBridge, on a small town farm with his three older sisters picking on him ceaselessly. While he loved WhiteBridge and its quaint charms, Beck found his true passion in books, and studied at Oxford for several years before scouring the globe for his passion. In his quest for knowledge, Beckett chose to join a month-long excursion out at sea, and found himself regretting that decision a few weeks later.

“Steady on there.” One of the sailors, Michelle, handed him a pair of earplugs. “You’ll need these where we’re going.”

Beckett eyed the little pieces of foam dubiously. “And just where might that be?”

“Siren territory.”

Beck hardly believed in such fairy tales, but to calm the sailor’s superstitions he inserted the plugs as instructed. Siren tales aside, Beckett found himself growing as twitchy as the sailors. The coastline hadn’t been visible for ages due to a large amount of fog accumulation. The stormy skies were foreboding as well, indicating that proper precautions would need to be taken. This far north, the weather reports often indicated rocky waves far beyond what should be normal.

Would Beckett sink, out here in the middle of nowhere? Was that to be his fate? The young man began to fret, hastening to make himself useful as the first rolls of thunder sounded off and the waves grew steadily higher.

And then, he heard it. Beckett paused, arms slack on the rope as he attempted to hear that haunting melody. Was the weather playing tricks on him, or was someone calling out to him.

“BECK! EARS!”

Beckett blinked, stunned to find himself standing on the slippery railing. When did he get up here? Beck hastened to climb down, noticing the rest of the crew had their hands firmly clasped over their ears, even with the ear plugs inserted.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough. Even with the double protection, the voice grew in volume, its booming voice penetrating into their heads. Every single person on board fell victim to its call, the ship’s captain turning the wheel to head towards the beckoning beast. Beckett climbed back up to the railing, plunging overboard into the crashing waves.

With a sputter, Beckett fought to keep his breath, legs kicking desperately against the current. Even in his desperate survival state, the voice called to him, and instinctively Beckett swam in the right direction to answer its call.

Every time the voice paused to take a breath, Beck would regain control for only a moment, his heart pounding as his fate flashed before his eyes with nothing to be done about it. Between one blink and the next, the sky grew darker, a looming shape breaching in the distance. Another blink, and Beckett’s face lost all complexion staring up at his demise.

A great sea serpent, half man half beast, towered with its human half over the pitiful human. With a single shift of its body, the beast created waves that threatened to pull Beck under. Those sharp features and piercing blue eyes were unforgettable, and subconsciously Beck realized this was the last face he would ever see.

Another blink. This time, when the serpent let out a hum, Beckett remained conscious but still out of his own control. His body was lax but his mind manic. The siren reached for him, slimy claws surrounding his form and making Beck shudder as he was raised 50 feet in the air in seconds. Beckett whimpered, coughing out sea water as his gaze was drawn down to the siren’s lips. The creature grinned and revealed its razor-sharp fangs. Taking a deep breath in, the siren revealed the cavernous depths beyond as it prepared to inhale its next meal.

Beckett pleaded nonsense pitifully, tears pouring down his cheeks as the haunting nothingness washed over his mind yet again. Would he even wake once more? Was the beast merciful enough to let Beckett go in his sleep?

When Beckett woke up, he thought he was dead.

He squinted, the sun too bright for his eyes. The sun? What happened to the storm? Stranger yet, the water that had soaked him to the bone was no more. Beck was dry, wrapped in blankets in a stranger’s bed.

“You’re awake.”

Beckett turned his head, his sore muscles protesting the movement. Beside him sat an older looking fellow, hair greying with age. “Who’re you?”

“The name’s Seymour.” Seymour introduced himself. “And who’re you?”

“Beck.” Beckett’s voice felt like he hadn’t spoken in days. “Am I dead?”

“No, but you tried awful hard.” Seymour assured him. “Found you passed out on the shore two days ago. Guessin’ you were part of some shipwreck? Though there wasn’t much wreckage to be found. Awfully impressive for you to have swam that far.”

Is that what happened? Beck frowned, trying to parse out the details. His body ached something terrible. He did remember swimming for a great distance. Had the siren all been a strange vision of his adrenaline-infused thoughts?

“...huh.” Beck settled back into the pillows, looking up at the ceiling. “I… didn’t know I could do that.”

“Well that, or an angel saved you.” Seymour chuckled. “You’re one lucky soul.”

Beck squinted in thought. If that’s what angels looked like, he could understand why all biblical depictions had humans cowering in fear.

(...was it an angel?)

Beckett spent some of the most confusing weeks of his life recovering from the shipwreck. Even as his physical form healed, Beck couldn’t seem to wrap his mind around the events that transpired that night. He couldn’t get the notion out of his head that the giant sea serpent was real. It had all felt so lifelike, the claws and the fish breath and the dark melodious tones that haunted his dreams…

Seymour was kind enough to open his home to Beck, offering the traumatized lad a position maintaining his lighthouse while Beckett still fought to gather his wits. “Yer’ not the first.” Seymour assured him with a chuckle. “It’s no water off my back if you want to keep me company while you figure things out.”

You’re not the first. Beckett had cleared his throat, wanting to address that thought. “The other people who wash up on shore… did they ever… see anything?”

Seymour raised a patient eyebrow. “What do you mean, seen? Figure you lot have all seen a lot, what with the wreckage.”

“No, I mean, out at sea.” Beck felt foolish, twiddling his thumbs a bit. “Like a… like a merman.”

To his credit, Seymour did nothing more than a slow blink. “A merman.” He repeated.

“But, not a regular merman.” Beck winced at his own words. Just what was a regular merman? “A big one, like a hundred feet long, and pale white skin, and white locks of hair, and piercing blue eyes-”

“Kid.” Seymour cut him off. “I’ll tell it to ya straight. No, I ain’t ever heard nothing like that.”

Today, Beckett found himself on the cliffside, safely back from the edge as he watched the distant waves. His knees were tucked up to his chest, chin atop them as Beck sat lost in thought. Somewhere out there, Beckett’s giant captor- and later savior- was out there.

Why did the beast let him go? Even further than that, the siren had gone out of its way to give Beck a chance at life. There’s no way Beckett could have made it all the way to the shore on his own, disoriented as he had been.

Despite his better judgement, Beckett had to know the truth. With this foolish notion in mind, Beck set out a few months later, having rented a boat from one of the local fishermen. It took a lot of practice for Beckett to learn how to guide such a vessel, as every crest of a wave made the poor lad jump.

Seymour must think he was mad. Often the kind old man reminded Beckett that he didn’t have to conquer his fear of the waves directly, but Beck had just shook his head. Seymour couldn’t understand the debt Beck felt to the creature that had saved his life, and his curiosity kept him captive. Beckett wouldn’t be free until he had answers.

Of course, once he was out on the waters, Beck realized how foolish of a plan this truly was- he knew nothing about aquatic navigation. Every part of the ocean looked the same to him. Even worse, his memories of the last sea journey were extremely muddled. How on earth was he going to find the same location?

And even as Beck drifted in waters that may or may not be similar, the human realized he had no surefire way of gaining the siren’s attention. He settled for calling out often, hoping his carrying voice would be enough. Did the beast understand english? It was deceptively human-looking.

Beckett’s throat grew parched, and Beck sat down a moment to take careful sips of water from his dwindling bottle. The sky was growing darker, and a familiar fog had begun to roll in. An eerie chill began to creep up the back of Beckett’s neck. Suddenly, this plan wasn’t feeling so wise.

That’s when he heard it. The familiar song of his dreams was echoing across the water. Beck had forgotten the feeling, his limbs stiffening against his will like a marionette pulled taunt.

Blink. A gigantic fish tail, just the tip cresting the waves. Blink. Beckett found himself in the waves, gasping as he kicked frantically to keep his head above water. Blink. All too soon, Beck found himself clasped between those claws, water dripping from his locks as he stared at those terrifying chompers.

Oh god. This was a terrible idea. What should he do? What was there to do? All the blood left Beckett’s face, watching the siren lick its lips. It raised Beck higher, dangling the human by the back of his shirt above a now gaping maw. Beckett let out an unholy screech, realizing he had made a terrible mistake.

Beckett squeezed his eyes shut, forcing the words out of his lungs before he never got the chance again. “WHY DID YOU SPARE ME?!”

To Beck’s great relief, he didn’t find himself lowered onto the beast’s tongue. Instead, after the longest pause of Beckett’s life, he opened his eyes to see the siren’s mouth had gone slack.

“What?”

Beck’s eyebrows shot up into his scalp, shocked to hear the siren actually speak. Guess that meant it understood english, too. Beckett cautiously raised his gaze, meeting the siren’s eyes instead of its teeth. The creature looked confused, to say the least.

“You-” Beck cleared his throat, knowing he had to keep the siren’s attention lest he become a meal. “You spared me.” The siren’s brow furrowed further. Beckett frowned. “You… you saved my life? I mean, first you threatened it, but… 3 months ago? You- our ship, and the song, and… I woke up on the shore…”

Unfortunately, despite being the most momentous occasion of Beckett’s life, the giant sea serpent didn’t seem to have given the night a second thought. Beck couldn’t stop the sinking feel in his chest, knowing this whole journey was pointless after all.

The siren slowly shook his head. “That sounds unlike me.”

“It’s true!” Beckett insisted, especially because his life seemed to be on the line. “I was baffled too, but for some reason you spared me, and-and I don’t know why either! It’s been driving me insane. Why else would I sail all the way out here trying to find you?”

“You came looking for me?” This, at least, caused the siren to raise an interested eyebrow. “That would be a first.”

Beck nodded quickly. “Yes! I’ve been shouting for you all day. And before that I’ve been training for weeks, saving up for a downpayment to borrow Ben’s boat, which I’ll probably be losing now that I have no idea where that ended up…” Beckett grimaced, once again meeting the siren’s gaze. “Sorry, I’ve been told I have a tendency to sidetrack conversations in uncomfortable situations. Boat’s not important. Please don’t eat me.”

To both of their surprise, the siren let out an amused snort, the hot fishy air rustling Beck’s hair.

“I apologize for that.” The creature had the decency to look sheepish, even as its words curdled Beckett’s blood. “It’s nothing personal.”

“Wait, what?!” Beckett immediately began screeching, attempting to squirm out of the claws still holding him captive.

“Stop!” The siren hissed, his grip tightening painfully around Beck’s ribs. “You will fall with that behavior.”

Beck winced, continuing to struggle against the crushing appendages. “That was kind of the idea. I choose waves over teeth.”

“Waves over…?” The siren shook his head. “No, you misunderstand. I will not eat you.”

Beck found that hard to believe. He squinted, judging the gigantic face before him even as the pressure stayed tight around his chest. “So, you were going to?”

“Yes.”

“But now you’re not.”

“Yes.”

“...why?”

“Because you’re quite interesting, little human.” The siren admitted. “Your question confuses me. Do you want to be eaten?”

Beck chose wisely to avoid that question. “My name’s Beckett.” He said instead. “Beck, for short. Not little human, or anything.”

The siren blinked. It must be strange putting a name to your not-food. “My name is Caspian.”

Caspian. For some reason, Beck hadn’t actually pictured the siren having a name. Or talking. Or generally possessing much humanity at all… the self-reflection made him feel a bit guilty.

“It’s nice to meet you, Caspian.” Beck greeted. He glanced around, realizing the sun had finished setting. “Can we circle back to the boat issue? I mean, I’m glad this hasn’t ended fatally, but it is getting late.”

“Hold on.” Caspian frowned. “You spent all that effort to reach me, only to leave? Little Beck, your story has holes.”

“No, no no no.” Beck quickly shut that down, hastily trying to avoid any possibility of a vengeful siren. “No that’s not it at all. It’s just, your time must be very valuable, and I don’t want to intrude. And also, contrary to popular belief, I'm not a great swimmer. Hence the boat.”

“Hmm.” Caspian seemed to consider this for several moments. The giant seemed to reach a conclusion, but Beck was uncertain what it was as he was raised up above Caspian’s head. “Climb on.”

“Climb on?” Beck repeated, confused.

“And hold on tight.” Caspian advised, opening his palm and tilting it so that Beck slid off with a yelp. “I was under the impression you need air to survive?”

“YES! Yes, that is- yes, I need that.” Beckett confirmed, quickly grabbing onto Caspian’s hair as best he could. Not the easiest task in the world with how everything, including himself, was soaked. Nevertheless, Beck was wise enough to prepare himself for whatever a massive sea serpent might have planned.

Without further warning, Caspian lowered himself into the water, only keeping the top of his head above the waves for Beck’s benefit. Beck hastily lowered himself onto his stomach, not wanting to slide off Caspian’s head as the mer began to swim through the ocean faster than a speedboat.

“Where are you going!” Beck shouted above the wind whipping at his face. He squinted, trying to see where the siren was headed but having no luck. Were they swimming to the boat? Had Beck really gotten so far away from it?

Unfortunately, the siren himself offered no answers. The night sky and fog did not help Beck’s visibility. In these conditions, he was practically blind.

After several minutes of this less-than-ideal water travel, Caspian came to an abrupt stop. Beck frowned, finding himself staring at a rocky cliffside shore. Was Caspian trying to return him to the lighthouse again? But none of this looked familiar…

Caspian raised his head above the waves, sending Beck scrambling to keep his hold. It didn’t matter, as those familiar claws came up and plucked the human from Caspian’s hair.

“Hold your breath.” Caspian advised. This was Beck’s only warning as he was cupped between Caspian’s hands, the mer diving beneath the surface.

Thankfully, Beckett was intelligent enough to take the warning to heart. He held his breath, eyes squeezed tightly shut to avoid getting saltwater in them. The pressure became quite intense as Caspian dove several dozen meters down with ease. It made Beck feel like his head would pop at any moment. Was Caspian trying to drown him? But why go through all the effort of telling Beck to hold his breath, if only to drag it out?

Just as Beck could take it no longer and felt on the verge of passing out, Caspian breached the surface. Immediately Beck began to suck in large gulps of air, snorting to get the water that got stuck unpleasantly up his nose.

Despite being above the surface, Beck couldn’t see anything. He tried not to panic, heart racing thanks to all the uncertainties of the situation. “Where- where are we?”

“Home.”

Caspian’s answer only brought on further questions. Home? What kind of home did a gigantic merman have, anyway? Slowly his human eyes began to adjust to the darkness, noticing that bioluminescent moss seemed to give the space just enough light to see the outlines of shapes. It appeared they were in some sort of underground cavern, the water lapping against a craggy water-worn shore.

“Ah, yes. Of Course. Home.” Beck tried not to think about the several deadly reasons a wild animal might welcome him into its living space. But thankfully, Caspian wasn’t just an animal. He could talk, he seemed half human- that had to amount to something, right?

Of course, Caspian had still planned to eat him. So. There’s that.

“You’re still not gonna eat me, right?” Beck asked, not about to leave something so important to chance.

“Right.” Caspian sighed, as if the question were a mild annoyance and not tied to Beckett’s entire livelihood. “But you have disturbed my hunting time. I’m hungry.”

“Not sure that’s entirely my fault…” Beckett murmured to himself.

Caspian lowered his cupped palms to the rocky shore, setting Beck down away from the water’s edge. “Stay here.”

“Wha-? Stay here?” Beck became alarmed, taking a few nervous steps to catch his footing on the slippery slope. “Where are you going?”

“Do not worry.” Caspian assured Beck, easing himself back into the water. “I’ll bring you back something to eat as well.” With that, Caspian dove back into the water, leaving Beck alone in this dark murky cave.

Beckett blinked, shocked to find himself alone in this enclosure. “I don’t think he knows what humans eat.” Beck grimaced, not eager to see just what Caspian would be bringing back for him. Would it be wriggling? Slimy? Would it be human? The thought made Beck want to throw up.

Beckett shivered, feeling chilly now that the adrenaline was beginning to wear off. He found himself in an unknown underwater cave off the coastline somewhere, still soaked to the bone in his wet rags. The icy temperature in here was freezing, and the water wasn’t any warmer. Was Beck going to die of frostbite here? How long was Caspian planning on keeping him prisoner?

Beckett walked up and down the shore, looking for any driftwood or materials to make a fire. He had no luck, of course, but even if he had Beck didn’t know the first thing about starting a fire. So with nothing to warm himself, what should Beck do? Beckett knew from all the books he’d read on environmental conditions that staying in his wet clothing was one of the worst strategies for survival, but standing around naked in the freezing cave didn’t sound any more appealing. Not to mention, Beck had no way of drying his clothes even if they left his person. He would just have to put the soaking wet rags back on eventually.

Making a foolish decision, Beck kept his clothes on in the hopes that his own body temperature would help dry them eventually. Coming from the man who went out to sea to search for his would-be murderer all day, perhaps Beck shouldn’t be treating himself as a good source for advice.

“What was I thinking?” Beck murmured, pacing back and forth to try and keep the blood flowing to his extremities. His fingertips were growing numb, and Beck shoved them in his armpits to try and keep them warm.

Should he try and escape? Beckett guessed there must be some underwater entrance to this cavern, but there was no way of knowing how deep he would have to dive to reach it, how long the tunnel itself was, nor how high he’d have to swim to reach the surface on the other side. Beckett wasn’t known to be a particularly decent swimmer. Even just the idea of getting in the water right now made Beck shudder, not eager to get soaking wet once more.

Beckett let out a yawn, the excitement of the day catching up to him. He was cold, and tired. Nothing sounded better than stripping off these clothes and lying down in a warm, dry bed back at Seymour’s.

Oh gosh, Seymour. What was the old man gonna think when Beck didn’t return home like he claimed? He knew Seymour had little faith in Beck’s sailing abilities, but Beckett had foolishly promised to be careful. Would Seymour mourn him? Worse yet, would Seymour try to send out a rescue? What if Caspian found him and wasn’t so merciful?

Beckett was dead on his feet by the time the water began to shift. Beck slapped himself out of his stupor, standing to attention in his semi-dry clothes as the giant merman emerged.

Caspian pulled himself partially up onto the shore, holding out one hand to Beck. As expected, none of this looked edible in its current form. There was a live octopus, still wriggling around, a half dozen oysters, a few slimy eels, and a few other squirming entities Beckett wasn’t certain how to classify.

“Oh, thanks.” Beck tried to keep the disgust off his facial features. Even with not eating all day, Beck didn’t have much of an appetite. But would Caspian be mad if Beck didn’t eat it? It’s not like Beckett asked for it in the first place...

“I was uncertain what you would like.” Caspian admitted, a soft frown gracing his features as he nudged the human with his fingertips, encouraging Beck to eat. “Will this be good for you? Do not be shy, I ate my fill already.”

Beck cleared his throat. “Well, uh, some of this is what humans can eat, but we don’t eat it… raw. Or alive, usually.”

“Hmm.” Caspian considered this for a moment, taking one of the eels between his claws. Caspian raised the creature to his lips. In one swift motion, Caspian used his fangs to tear off the eel’s head, sending a small spurt of blood spattering down.

Beck cried out, quickly covering his head with his arms to try and avoid getting caught in the rain. “COOKED! IT NEEDS TO BE COOKED!” Beck hastily corrected, turning a bit green as Caspian tried to once again offer him the bloody corpse. “It needs to be prepared right, too, I don’t think I’m supposed to eat a lot of stuff found in live fish, they usually gut ‘em and stuff, and I’ve never been one for sushi in the first place.”

Caspian licked his lips, clearing away the blood stains as he tilted his head like a pup. “What do you mean, ‘cooked’?”

Beck slowly uncovered his head, thankful Caspian seemed to have backed off for a moment. “Right, cooked.” Beck nodded to himself. “Guess you wouldn’t know what that is, living in the ocean and all. Um, do you know what fire is?” It was Caspian’s turn to nod. “Wait, you do? How?”

“Fire chokes out life.” Caspian explained. “It creates the smoke and the ash that destroys the shores.”

“Well… yeah, I guess it does do that, sometimes.” Beckett admitted. “But we use it in smaller, healthy doses. You use it to cook your food, usually heating it up and changing it to be healthy.”

Caspian seemed more confused the further this conversation went on.

“Unfortunately, there’s no fuel here anyways.” Beck gestured to their surroundings. “And I don’t know how to make a fire anyways, so-”

“No fire.” Caspian said sternly. He sounded more like a stern parent, banning experimentation with firecrackers in the house.

“No fire.” Beck confirmed. He glanced at the ceiling. “Probably wouldn’t have been the best idea anyways, all enclosed like this. But anyways, no. I can’t accept your fish. Thank you, it was very kind of you, I’ll be forever grateful, but if I eat that I will be sick.”

“...hmm.” Caspian looked- disappointed? Frustrated? It was hard to tell the mer’s emotions, but Caspian at the very least seemed to understand Beck’s meaning, as he pulled his handful of fish back to himself. With a thoughtful expression, giving Beck one last option to protest, Caspian tilted the whole mixture into his mouth, chewing it into a paste and swallowing with ease.

Gross. Beck kept this thought to himself, grateful he was not on the other side of Caspian’s abs himself as the pleased merman gave his stomach a few pats.

“Then what will you eat?” Caspain asked, laying down to be more at eye level with the little man.

“Well, uh, I suppose I can always eat after I get home.” Beckett chose his words carefully, still uncertain what Caspian’s intentions were. “My friend would usually make meals with me. Stew, most of the time.”

Caspian’s eyebrows furrowed. “I can make stew with you.”

“No, you can’t.” Beck corrected. Gently. “No fire, remember? Fire’s needed for stew, too. And we don’t have any of the other ingredients. Vegetables, seasonings, broth, cooked meat… stuff like that. And any we got in here would be soaked with sea water, and that’s not great for humans either.”

The giant siren seemed displeased with this answer, obviously intent on keeping the human alive. This, at least, was one positive note in a storm of negativity for the evening.

With a displeased hum, Caspian reached out his hand towards Beckett. Instinctively Beck flinched away, worried the siren had gotten bored and wanted to do away with him, but all that happened was a giant digit began carefully stroking the top of Beck’s head and down the length of his back.

“Uh...what are you doing?” Beck asked, still stiff as a board.

Caspian didn’t seem inclined to answer. Instead he tilted his head, curious blue eyes intently studying Beckett. “Can you sing?”

Beckett blinked. “Can I what?”

“Can you sing?” Caspian repeated, and after Beck gave a nod: “sing for me.”

“Oh, well, I can sing, but not very well, mind you.” Beck admitted, looking a bit sheepish. The stage had always been his sister’s forte. “Certainly not to your caliber. I don’t think you want to hear me sing at all, actually.”

“Yes I do.” Caspian insisted gently. “Sing.”

Beck let out a deep breath, mentally preparing himself for such a task. What song does one even use to serenade a siren? After careful consideration, Beckett selected an old nursery rhyme from his childhood, both for its brief length and easy melody.

“Twinkle, twinkle, little star-” Beckett began, his voice shaking. He cleared his throat, trying to project a bit more even as Caspian leaned in to hear. “How I wonder what you are. Like a diamond in the sky, up above the world so high…”

Beckett had shut his eyes, trying to forget about any pressures to perform. A nice benefit to this impromptu concert is that Caspian had paused his petting to allow Beck to focus. “Twinkle twinkle, little star… how… er, ...up… ah…y’know what? I’ve forgotten the last line, actually.”

Beck grimaced, opening his eyes. Caspian was as difficult to read as ever, the siren’s face passive as Beckett awaited any sort of review.

“That was it?” Caspian clarified.

“Yeah, not a very long song.” Beckett agreed. “Meant for children, y’know? Just to… well I don’t know the point of it, actually, I guess it’s just something to sing.”

“Ah.” Caspian drummed his fingers along the rocks. “It was…”

Beckett waited not so patiently. “Well?” He spoke up. “I told you I’m a lousy singer.”

Considering the siren made no effort to disagree, Caspian held the same opinion, yet he wore a pained expression. Perhaps Caspian had held out hope for Beck after all? But then again, even if he were a renowned opera singer, how could a human voice ever possibly appeal to a siren?

“I thought everyone could sing.” Caspian admitted quietly.

For some reason, this bashful admission is what finally set Beck roaring with laughter. Beck clutched at his sides, doubled over with mirth as a concerned siren watched. Caspian let out a noise of concern, reaching out his hand to prod Beck in the side.

“No- I’m good!” Beck hastily assured him, pushing away the finger as if he had any chance of telling the siren what to do. “It’s just- ah, fuck. What a day, you know?” And with that, tears began to pour down Beckett’s cheeks, the poor exhausted boy helpless to stop them as he alternated between laughing and sobbing.

Now Caspian let out a whine, the trill noise echoing across the cavern walls as Caspian scooped the human up into his hands. Beck gasped, momentarily without air as he was forced against Caspian’s chest. “Shh, shhh.” Caspian hushed him, patting his back like he was a child.

Well, what did it matter? Beck felt like a child. He was tired, and hungry, and cold, and he just wanted to go home. Unable to work on any of those things, Beckett tried instead to take the comfort that was given to him, so overwhelmed by the day that this might as well happen.

Beck hiccupped, his tears still coming but too exhausted to keep wailing. Beckett leaned into Caspian’s chest, the smooth seal texture feeling surprisingly warm and dry for a creature that spent most of its life in the ocean. If he focused, Beck could hear a rhythmic thumping. It was Caspian’s heart, just on the other side of this ribcage.

“I wanna go home.” Beck murmured, more to himself than the siren who wouldn’t listen. “I just wanna go home.”

A rumbling sensation filled Beck’s ears, which he slowly recognized as Caspian’s singing. Beck closed his eyes, allowing himself to succumb to the call.

…

“...Beck?”

---

“-OI! Wake UP!”

Beck coughed, startled awake as he found himself once again doused in sea water. He blinked, disoriented to feel the surface beneath him was rocking like a boat. Before Beck could ponder that out, a bright light shined directly in his eyes, making him squint.

“Blimey, you look half dead.” Seymour whistled, taking stock of Beck’s appearance.

“I...what?” Beck frowned, looking around. They were on a boat. What happened? Last thing he remembered, Caspian had been coddling him like a wounded babe. “Where’s Caspian?”

“Who?” Seymour didn’t have a clue.

“Caspian! I- the giant siren!” Beck looked around, trying to spot anything in the darkness of night.

“Boy, I think you swallowed too much seawater.” Seymour shook his head, easing Beck back down. “Take it easy, you’re lucky to be alive.” Seymour pulled out an emergency orange blanket, wrapping it firmly around Beck’s shoulders. It was only then that Beck came to the startling conclusion he was naked, stripped of his wet clothes entirely. At least he could see them lying on the deck as well.

“The voice.” Beck insisted, staying down only because his head felt dizzy. “You must have heard him singing? He was singing. What’d I miss this time?”

Seymour had no answers, as far as giant sirens went. Instead, he explained his side of things. “When you didn’t come back yesterday, I came out to look for ya.” Seymour explained. “You must have a guardian angel after all. Caught you in my sights only by change with the spotlight, adrift in the waves. No idea how the hell you’ve got a speck of life in you, jumping in without a liferaft or lifejacket or nothin’. Holy hell son, ya got a death wish, there’s easier ways of going out.”

“I- what?” Beck frowned. “No, that… that’s not what happened.”

“Hypothermia can cause hallucinations.” Seymour swore under his breath. “Shit, you’re in a worse state than I thought. Never should have let you come out here alone in the first place, nevermind with Ben’s boat. He’s gonna kill ya, y’know, if you do manage to survive the night.”

“Didn’t mean to lose the boat.” Beckett rubbed at his eyes. “Got left behind on the way to the caverns.”

“To the caverns, he says.” Seymour rolled his eyes, handing Beck a warm thermos. “Drink. Sit. And don’t fall asleep.” With these last instructions, Seymour moved over to the captain’s chair, starting the motor and steering the boat back towards shore.

Beck stared at the waves passing by, sipping gently at the contents of the thermos. Tasted like hot lemon tea. Beck would have preferred hot chocolate, if shipwreck survivors were allowed to have preferences.

Was it a shipwreck? Did he jump in? No… no it was Caspian, wasn’t it? Dumb seal’s fault for it all. That, Beck was certain. Too bad he couldn’t charge the siren for Ben’s boat.

Before, Beck had barely escaped with his life, lost and confused about his potential giant savior. Now, he knew so much more than he had before. Caspian was real. Caspian’s name was Caspian. Caspian had intended to eat him, didn’t, and then let him go. Caspian had forgotten him.

Would Caspian forget him again? Why did that notion make Beck feel so uneasy?

It wasn’t like Beck owed Caspian anything, truly. The guy had saved his life twice now, but only after endangering it in the first place. But why did Caspian let him go this time? It seemed as if Caspian was intent on keeping him around like some sort of amusing lil’ pet. What had changed?

Beck’s mind was too tired to process through such things. He sipped more of the tea, growing drowsy.

“No sleeping!” Seymour yelled.

“Yes sir!” Beck jolted upright, regretting it when his head pounded. The sound of the waves had changed. Beck could hear them crashing against the shore, indicating they were almost to the dock.

Seymour expertly steered the ship into the harbor, a feat which took a good deal of skill in the middle of the night. Once securely fastened, Seymour offered Beck a hand, hauling the boy to his feet and keeping Beck steady all the way up to the lighthouse.

“Alright, in you get.” Seymour instructed, easing Beck into bed. He piled more blankets onto Beckett, disappearing briefly to grab a warm compress which he placed on Beckett’s forehead.

“I really did see him.” Beckett murmured, closing his eyes as the warmth lulled him into a deep slumber.

Seymour let out a low sigh. “I’m sure you did.” Seymour murmured, patting Beck’s arm.

[dapandapod]

Sing with me

This one is for @jaskierswolf, my last entry for mermay! 

Please enjoy some Jaskier x Mer!Valdo with some fairytale feels to it. Thank you a billion to @kuripon for being my beta! (go give her fics a read too, they are amazing)

Here on Ao3.  Please enjoy.

Lettenhove is beautiful in spring. Buds breaking into leaves, flowers forcing their way out of the frozen ground, the sky clear and blue. Jaskier loves it, and he wishes he could be out and enjoy it. But here he sits, listening to his tutor going on about the great wars of the continent. He used to be interested, but his new tutor is a right bore. He is never allowed to ask questions, or move about. And Jaskier is nine, he wants to move a lot.

What makes it better though, is the view. The room the tutor claimed for their studies has a view of the bay below. It lies undisturbed, the harbor being built in safer water with far less protruding rocks. If Jaskier focuses really hard, he can hear singing from down there.

 He shuts his eyes real hard, ignoring the howling wind, ignoring his whining tutor, and focuses on the splash of waves and rich voices harmonizing along the cliffs, bouncing off the stone. It earns him a slap on the wrists most times he is caught, but it is worth it. Sometimes he sneaks into the classroom after bedtime. He sits down in the alcove in front of the window and opens it. Propped up on his elbows, he looks down below, the height making the underside of his feet tickle, and the wind is blowing gently in his bangs. More than once he falls asleep there, lulled by the singing below and the splashing of waves.

 One day he will go down there and meet them. The sirens.

~

 Jaskier gets a new tutor. She is younger, brighter than the last one, and she smells like the sea. Her eyes are the deep grey of angry skies and her smile as soft as seaweed. He likes her a lot. She teaches him to sing, and the lilt of her voice reminds him of those below, those hiding in the crashing waves. She teaches him the ways with a lyre, and she lets him ask every question that pops into his mind.

 But something goes wrong. He isn’t sure what happens, but one day after their studies, she kisses his forehead and bids him goodbye. “It was nice knowing you, little Julian,” she whispers, like it is a secret. “Come visit us some time.”

 The day after, a stern, thick man takes her place. The man frowns when he sees the lyre, decorated with seashells, but lets him keep it and doesn’t tell his father.

 And when night falls, Jaskier creeps back into the classroom. Elbows propped against the window, he sings. He knows their songs now, their words, and he knows she is down there.

  ~

  Jaskier is thirteen when he braves it for the first time. The climb down there is steep, loose rocks and wet grass under his feet keeping his heart in his throat.

But he wants to meet them before he leaves. He has been accepted to Oxenfurt for his studies, and he is leaving before his fourteenth birthday. He stumbles and falls on his butt, sliding down a few paces before he finds his feet again, scraping his knee. It stings, and the leg of his trousers is ripped, but he keeps going.

 It's not until he stands, watching the water churn among the rocks, that Jaskier allows himself to breathe. Small droplets of salt water hit his cheek, his nose, and he blinks. They watch him, as he watches them. Jaskier can see them in the middle of the bay, settled on the rocks sticking out of the water. None look like the other. One's skin is rich gold, another a deep brown. Another is pale white, shimmering like a pearl. Their hair is sticking to their bodies, long and dark. Only two of them seem to favour a shorter hairstyle. Not all of them even have fish tails.

 Jaskier takes a tentative step closer to the water, knowing full well he will die if he falls in. Maybe he will die anyway. All of the stories he has been told about sirens end with humans dying.

But they came to him. She kissed his forehead and sang him good night.

He won’t believe it.

  One siren dives beneath the surface, her tail green and red. He waits for her to approach, and when she is close enough, he recognizes her. Her eyes are still the color of angry skies and her smile is still as soft as seaweed. She greets him with warmth, and bids him sit.

 They sing together, and it takes all of his concentration to remember the words. It’s been years, after all, but he falls back into it easily enough. The others join them after a while, their curiosity peaked by a boy by the sea, learning their language. Those with legs come sit with him, and he blushes at their nakedness when their bodies are revealed.

 That summer, for every night he is able, he sneaks down to the bay. He learns their names and their singsong way of talking. When he tells her about the lyre, how he has it hidden from his father, she is delighted. She teaches him more about music than any tutor he has ever had ever, and her way of telling stories is like poetry.

 When fall comes and Jaskier is put in a carriage to Oxenfurt, he doesn’t cry. He has needled from his mother and older sister that they have the song there too. It may be in a different form, but he has sworn to her to bring it home to them.

  ~

  Jaskier is seventeen when he meets Valdo Marx.

 That boy is like no other in Oxenfurt. He is wild, rude, funny and absolutely beautiful. He sprays himself with thick and expensive perfume, but Jaskier smells it on him anyway.

The sea.

Valdo's hair is thick and dark, just like theirs. Jaskier watches him in the lazy hours in the morning when they sit in the library. If a ray of sun hits him just right, there is a vague shimmer to his skin.

 Jaskier knows.

And he is besotted.

 But approaching Valdo Marx is harder than anything he has ever done. Their ways of singing are much alike, and Valdo takes great offence at that. Where Jaskier tries a tentative smile, Valdo sneers. Scoffs, mocks and pushes him away.

Jaskier doesn’t understand it, but he accepts it. If their rivalry is all he can get, he will take it. So it's song duels, poetry battles, drinking games, anything to get his attention. Valdo keeps the act up, but sometimes when they part, Jaskier thinks he can see the hint of a smile.

  The water near Oxenfurt is so very unlike the water at home. It is calmer, for one, and the water is so very clear.. Jaskier likes to go down there in the early mornings. He avoids the harbor as it is a busy and dangerous place at times, and these nights he wants peace.

 He longs for them. His friends. People call him songbird, but no, that’s not it. Jaskier follows the beach and when the weather allows he takes his shoes off. At home it was dangerous to step into the water, but here the waves lap at his feet, hiding them under a thin layer of sand. It is harder to find a good place to sit, so he is far from town when he reaches his chosen spot. He leans back against a tree, watching the sun slowly rise above the water. Gulls cry over him and dive into the water for breakfast.

 Jaskier likes to sing here.

Not as he does in school, nowhere near that. Here he sings in their language, far from prying ears. No one sings with him, but that is alright. It’s been years since he went back there. He probably won’t ever go back there again.

His father is not a kind man.

Jaskier sings his sorrows away. It feels like he is calling to them, a lonely cry over the waves, asking for someone, anyone to join him. It would be nice if Valdo sang with him. Maybe, if he is patient, he will win him over.

  Things change when Jaskier gets in a fight. He didn’t mean to, he is shit at fighting and the sight of blood makes his head spin, but here they are. And he is losing too.

 A fist slams into his ribs, making him bend awkwardly around the pain. Jaskier grunts, but straightens up, or at least he tries to. His feet are kicked from under him, and next thing he knows, feet are raining down on him.

 They kick his hip, his already aching ribs, his shoulder, his fingers.

 Jaskier doesn’t see Valdo in the tavern. Doesn’t notice those ocean eyes on him, his silence and his observance.

 Only when the blows stop, and Valdo is taking a swing at the offender does he notice. Turns out Valdo is bad at fighting too, and they run from the pub together, bruised and swearing. They stop in an alley, hidden far enough away from the street, catching their breath. Only when they are sure they are not being pursued does the laughing start. More like giggling, actually. Neither is completely sober, adrenaline rushing through their veins, and the sheer absurdity of it all has them hiccuping and wheezing, leaning against the wall for support.

 “Why the fuck would you pick a fight with that guy?!” Valdo wheezes, wiping tears from his cheeks. “He was huge!”

 "He was being an asshole!” Jaskier defends himself, but he agrees. Maybe not his brightest idea. They sink down against the wall, catching their breath. The ground is a little muddy, but his trousers are already dirty, so it doesn’t matter.

When they sit side by side, Jaskier watches Valdo’s profile in the semi-darkness. He doesn’t usually get to see him up close, and with the light spilling from a window somewhere above them. Valdo is beautiful. And in this low light, Jaskier can see the hint of scales again. He knows Valdo is probably wearing a glamour, so he isn’t supposed to be able to see it. Valdo looks back at him, eyes still glittering with humour.

“What?” He asks.

“Thank you. For helping me.”

Valdo looks at him searchingly for a long moment. Then he nods, as if he has made up his mind.

“You are welcome.”

  They sit in silence for another few moments, letting the buzz of Oxenfurt nightlife surround them. Jaskier is looking up over the rooftops, trying to see the stars, when Valdo speaks again.

“You know what I am, don’t you?”

“I do.”

“You sing like we do.”

“I do.”

“Why?”

Now it is Jaskier who turns his head and finds Valdo watching him. He blinks fast a few times, trying to chase away the flutters that rise in him.

“One of my tutors came from the sea. My father didn’t like her, so she didn't stay, but we found each other again. She taught me songs and words and stories.”

 Jaskier can’t tear his eyes away, watching Valdo watching him.

It is a strange sensation, having Valdo’s attention like this.

 “Is this why you keep going to the water to sing?” Valdo asks, surprising him. It must show on his face, because he smiles gently at him, and Jaskier feels like he could melt.

“I hear you sometimes. When I’m out swimming.”

 Jaskier has to swallow hard before he can reply. He would love to see Valdo in the water. He remembers how graceful they are back home, how they moved in the water, strong muscles playing under the skin.

 “It is,” Jaskier confirms when he has himself under control. “I miss them.”

“I don’t know where my family is,” Valdo says after a while. “I left to come here. But I will find them again. Some day.”

 Jaskier stares at his boots for a moment. He wants to ask, he wants to ask so badly. He is a little afraid to do it, seeing that they just got on speaking terms.

 “Would you uh…”

Valdo is still watching him as if he is trying to figure him out.

“Would you sing with me some time?”

 There. He said it.

Valdo opens his mouth. Closes it. Tilts his head.

 “Do you know what it means to sing together?”

Jaskier shakes his head. He doesn’t. But it always meant a lot to him, and Valdo holds a special place in his heart. He wonders how their voices would sound together.

“It means belonging. Is this what you are asking of me? To belong?”

Oh.

Oh, that puts warmth in Jaskiers heart. To have found belonging with his people in the waves, to be accepted, chosen and loved.

And it flusters him greatly that he is now asking the same of Valdo.

Because he is, he realizes. He would like that very much.

 “If you’d like. Some day. I’m not asking for it now. I just… I would love to see you in the water sometime.”

Valdo doesn’t reply. He stands up, dusts off his trousers.

“We’ll see. Maybe.”

Then he stretches out a hand to help Jaskier up.

Valdo's hand in his is soft, warm, firm. When they are both on their feet, Valdo doesn’t let go of his hand immediately.

 “I think I can see what they saw in you,” Valdo says slowly. Jaskier doesn’t really understand what he means, but he loves it all the same. They make their way slowly across town, following the ebb and flow of its inhabitants. Valdo is still holding his hand.

    It takes months, years for Jaskier to see Valdo swim. His tail shares the color of seaweed, scales sparkling in the evening sun when he breaches the surface. Jaskier watches from the bay, far away from prying eyes. Valdo is every bit as magnificent as he thought he would be. Their journey here was long. A tentative friendship growing and growing. They still have their rivalry, are still at each other's throats most of the time.

But tonight, when Valdo offers to bring him to the sea, Jaskier know that too is about to change. Jaskier is wading out into the water, and Valdo swims to meet him. When the water comes to his chest, Valdo wraps his arms around him. It is cold, but Valdo pulls him in close and pushes their foreheads together.

“Will you sing with me?” Valdo asks, stealing Jaskier's breath away.

“Yes.”

[thiswasinevitableid]

For mermay, #25 siren for Sternclay, rating up to you? Thank you so much, I love your fics!

Here you go! I went with SFW and it's set in the same universe as the other siren prompt I got this year

Joseph has sailed so far over the horizon of regret that he’s landed right back on the shores of resolve.

The highway curves through low mountains, extends in interminable straight lines of super-heated asphalt, and he drives both stretches with purpose, eyes fixed on his goal so as not to see the last forty-eight hours lurking in his rearview mirror.

When the sign reading “Kepler: Population 3,000 on land, 50 in water” reflects the setting sun he slumps back in the driver seat, too tired to be glad, excited, afraid, or anything else at all.

He passes the Cryptonomica, proclaiming itself the premier place to learn about the Roadside Sirens. Rolling his eyes means he nearly misses the drawbridge warning, the barrier dropping and bridge rising to allow a small sailboat to pass. It’s aboard this he sees his first siren; dappled tail hanging in the water as she converses with the other passenger and waves to the siren working the bridge.

The bridge lowers and he continues forward as the early evening overtakes the main road. Neon crackles to life, creosote and rabbitbrush drift through the window when he rolls it down. The sign on Amnesty Lodge declares vacancies, so he pulls into the parking lot. It’s a strange lay-out, little cabins dotting the patches of pools that, once upon a time, must have been enclosed in rooms. Now they glisten under the emerging stars, some surrounded by lawn chairs and set ups to play horseshoes or cornhole. The building housing the lobby is precariously perched on the bank of the slow flowing river, another building whose neon is unlit sitting beside it. He pays the young lady at the counter for a week to week cabin and lugs the remainders of his life inside.

In the bathroom mirror, the wear of this trip is clear in the wrinkles on his suit and the dust on his shoes. He strips down, rinses off, and heads into the night in his shorts and T-shirt from Puget Sound. On a whim he turns right, follows a trail that leads him into the state park. He pays the five dollar fee in a little envelope as he continues on his way. Just as he reaches a scenic viewpoint, the singing starts.

Joseph can’t see any of the singers, can only pick up six or so distinct voices swirling around him.

It’s said the roadside sirens will tell you what you need.

It’s said the roadside sirens are the only way Kepler gets new residents

It’s said the roadside sirens will lead you to your hearts desire.

It’s said the roadside sirens are not always gentle.

All that tugs at Joseph’s heart is exhaustion. When footsteps creak across the boards behind him, he turns to find a man in a ranger uniform. Their eyes meet a moment and the man nods in greeting, “Evenin sir, you got any questions?”

“What do you hear when they sing?”

The ranger shrugs, “I hear them singin’. Never been all that susceptible to ‘em. Well, except for one, but he don’t sing all that often and the last time it was to tell me he missed me while I was out here workin’.”

Joseph raises an eyebrow. The man comes close enough for him to see his name tag. All it says is, “Duck.”

Duck chuckles, leans his arms on the railing, “S’okay, most folks don’t believe me when I tell ‘em that. See, thing about sirens is, you gotta have unfulfilled desires for the song to take hold. First time I was in Kepler, didn’t have a goddamn clue what I wanted from life. When I came back, found the two things I wanted right away. Been pretty content since.” He glances at Joseph, “why, you hear somethin that worries you?”

“I don’t hear anything besides-”

A burst of blue and orange light spills across them; the building beside Amnesty Lodge has come to life, and Joseph can see a line out the door from here. More importantly, someone is singing and his body moves towards the source without him noticing.

“I mean, if your main want is you’re hungry, Lodge is a damn good place to start. Put Kepler on the map. Or, uh, guess the sirens put it there and the Lodge kept it there once the novelty wore off.

“Uhumm” Joseph nods, waving an absentminded goodnight as he follows the path back to the Lodge. He’s about to join the others waiting to get through the door when he gets a flash of an image; a draft on a desk, announcing the Lodge needed a cooks assistant.

What the hell, it’s worth a try right?

A knock on the back door summons an older man in a “Joshua Tree” shirt.

“Howdy, if you’re lookin for the line-”

“I’m here about the assistant job.”

“Uhh, o-kay. Not the best time for it, but follow me.”

The man leads him down a set of stairs to a kitchen that is half in and half out of the water in a way that defies logic and physics. Swimming about are several sirens, plus two humans on the shore, cooking and sending food up to the main building in a dance that borders on chaos. In the middle of it all is a siren with a deep copper tail that matches his short beard and long hair tied back in a bun.

“Barclay! You got a minute?”

“Not really!”

“Okay then. I’ll just have this fella wait in your office until dinner rush is over.”

“Sure great yeah Moira wheres the crawfish for table ten?”

Which is how Joseph finds himself sitting in a cabin, twiddling his thumbs. His manners fight his boredom until he pulls a paperback from the nearby shelf and loses himself in the exploits of a someone recreating dishes from ancient civilizations. Doesn’t look up until the door opens and the same man, now with legs instead of that beautiful tail, walks in.

“Phew” he shuts the door with a satisfied smile, rests his head on the wood, then whirls and slams his back against it when Joseph clears his throat.

“GAHWHATTHEFUCK”

“I’m, I’m so sorry, I thought you heard, um, Thacker, tell you he was having me wait here.”

“W-wait here for wh--Oh, oh right, the assistant thing.” The siren scrubs his face, “yeah, uh, guess Mama must've put the ad out. Uh, would you say you’re organized?”

“Extremely. But honestly it doesn’t seem like you need that much help on that front.”

A deep, rich laugh, “I cleaned this morning, last night it looked like an earthquake hit this place. Guessing from the fact you didn’t freak out in the kitchen you’re cool with the supernatural?”

“Yes. It’s an area of interest for me.”

There’s suspicion in Barclay’s voice, hidden but very much present, “why’d you end up in Kepler?”

“I came here on purpose. I wanted to be somewhere where strange things were celebrated and out in the open. Not...not kept from the world.”

Barclay leans back on his desk, arms crossed, “Where’d you work before now?”

“The…” he sighs, resigns himself to finding somewhere else to go, “the FBI. UP branch, I was at Nellis when they, um, relieved me of my duties.”

For a long moment, Barclay studies him. Then he turns to his desk, setting stacks of papers in order as he hums. Joseph closes his eyes, takes calming breaths; all he wants is to be safe, to not have to run. All he wants is for Barclay to hold him, he’s never seen a man so handsome and a useless, primal part of him fixates on that fact. Also he’s starving, god, he hasn’t eaten since his breakfast of black coffee.

Barclay stops humming, “Come with me.”

Joseph follows him back down into the strange kitchen (“couple of friends of mine are pretty powerful magicians. They rigged up the kitchen for me”). All the lights are off, and without them he discovers Barclay’s eyes glow an eerie yellow-green. When he smiles, Joseph sees only the points on his teeth, not the crinkle at the edge of his eyes.

“Hungry?” Barclay rumbles.

“Starving.”

“You eat fish?”

“...Yes?” Will the wrong answer get him drowned.

The cook leaps towards the water, tail appearing and clothes vanishing at the last moment before he hits the dark surface. Joseph stands, on edge and curious, until the siren emerges, newly-dead trout in his hands.

“Tastes best fresh.” Barclay swims to his grill, turning it on in a click of a knob.

“Why not just stay human when you cook?” Joseph makes his way over to the station as Barclay butchers the fish and sets it into a heavily buttered pan.

“The charm only holds for so long before I need to be back in the water, and I get so busy during meals I don’t want to risk passing out because I went too long on shore. Besides” he spins elegantly to grab two spice jars, “I learned to cook in the water, so this is the most natural way for me.”

“Fascinating.” Joseph sits down, keeping himself out of arms reach of the water. Barclay seems nice, but sirens did not become famous for offering people things and then following through; hundreds of dead travelers prove that much.

“Where are you from?”

“Chicago, originally.”

“Ever see the great lake mers?”

“No.” He can’t help but feel disappointed that he’s only learning of their existence now.

“Quite a few out there. Sirens too.”

Well, that introduces some new reasons for all the shipwrecks.

“How do you know? Are you from there?”

“Nah. Been in Kepler my whole life. Even during the bad years, singing people into that godawful, overpriced casino buffet. Convincing them the shitty cold cuts were prime rib.” His hand stills a moment, clenches and then releases, “yeah. Every now and then” he starts chopping shallots, “one of the drunks would get it into their heads to pet the sirens tail or hair and I had to sit there and let them. My tail” he shudders, swipes the shallots into the pan so roughly Joseph starts.

“Sorry.” Barclay mumbles.

“Don’t be. I’m on edge, that’s all. And you have every right to be angry. Being forced to do something you know is wrong is....there’s no winning.”

“That why you just want a place to feel safe?”

It’s so easy to confess in the darkness of the cave.

“I put up too much of a fight about something. Refused to do something that went against my conscience. They let me go, which I feared but expected. Then I found my bank accounts were cut off and someone had manipulated the records to say I’d been fired for criminal activity so it’d be harder to find a job.”

A clink of metal on china, and then Barclay is holding a plate out to him with tenderness in his eyes, “I’m so sorry, Joseph. Here, at least you won’t be hungry.”

Joseph murmurs out his thanks.

“You a wine drinker?”

“Right now I could certainly go for some.”

A few flicks of that stunning tail and Barclay returns with a glass of white for each of them.

“To getting free of shitty pasts.” The cook raises his glass and Joseph bumps his against it. Barclay brings it to his lips, but smiles rather than sip, “and by the way: you got the job.”

-------------------------------------------------------

Being Barclay’s assistant is fifty percent clerical work and fifty percent following the siren around as he gathers ingredients or tests recipes. On Ned Chicane’s recommendation, Barclay had published a cookbook of both traditional siren foods and his own creations. It became a bestseller which, among other things, means Joseph has a brand new wardrobe, regular deliveries of gourmet food, and his cabin is now full of books. Whenever he points out that Barclay is already paying him and doesn’t need to buy him things, the siren simply rubs their cheeks together (a thing Joseph is only now getting used to) and tells him he likes doing it.

So when he’s not getting his recipes in order or typing up scribbled note cards into something legible, he’s following Barclay on foot or in a boat while he harvests or buys ingredients. Sirens have permission to fish and forage in areas, including the park, that humans don’t, which means he runs into Duck and his siren husband, Indrid, on more than one occasion while hauling lines into the boat.

The one time it gets stuck, Barclay pulls it out all on his own. Almost like he’s showing off the muscles in his back, arms, and tail.

The only thing Joseph won’t do is get in the water with the siren. He can’t get the images of drowned sailors, of fishermen torn to shreds, from his mind. Barclay is powerful, sharp-toothed and slit-pupiled, dangerous yet so gentle he once purred when Joseph complimented his food. And if Joseph never goes in the water with him, he’ll never have to confront the fact he wouldn’t mind if those pointed teeth dug into his skin and that tail trapped his legs while he thrashed in Barclay’s hold.

He assumes Barclay doesn’t notice; after all, swamps and marshes, even the river, are far less suited to a human swimming in them than an ocean or lake. This conclusion is bolstered by Barclay never, ever asking him to join him in the water. The siren is less careful about singing; he usually just hums as he works, but sometimes he sings wordlessly and Joseph nearly dives head first into the water (Barclay’s lap, if they’re on land).

Tonight, he’s cleaning up after Barclay’s test session of new recipes in the kitchen. The cook went out to visit some friends who live further in the state park, so when his voice drifts across the stones Joseph is surprised.

Cool, calloused hands on his cheeks, a tail stroking his thighs, his lips tracing up a sturdy leg. Copper hair twined in his fingertips, a heart beating in time with his own, teeth sinking into his skin, marking him, claiming him.

Water fills his nose and his body jerks back to the present, standing up in the shallow water that he stepped and stumbled face-first into.

“Joseph? Oh fuck, are you okay?” Barclay rounds the corner, swimming over to look up at him with concern.

“Yes. I, um, I think I got caught up in your song.”

“I’m sorry, I thought you were already upstairs or I wouldn’t have sung so loud. I know you can’t swim.”

“I can.” Joseph kneels, face down-turned in shame, “I was scared to, um, to be in the water with you. It’s, I was afraid of what might happen.”

Barlay swims back, “you thought I was gonna eat you?”

“No! Or, um, at first I didn’t want to foolishly assume that sirens in Kepler were harmless, since death isn’t high on my to-do list. Then I thought suddenly starting to swim would tip you off to the fact I’d been suspicious and I didn’t want to hurt you.” He runs a hand through his hair, “that song, though, Barclay, lord almighty is that what I want?”

“It’s what I want, I never sang it to bring you to me.”

“Oh.”

Barclay swims back to him, rubs their cheeks together, “Can I try something?”

“Anything” is all he gets out before he’s pulled into deeper water. He gasps for air, his own moans ricocheting across the room as Barclay bites his shoulder. On instinct his body tries to tread water, but copper scales trap his legs together, keep him flush against Barclay’s body.

“It’s okay babe, you can relax. I got you, I could keep us both afloat in my sleep.” He hums as he trails his lips across Joseph’s throat, “you’re safe. You’re with me.”

“Don’t make me leave.” The song pulls it out of him, because he wants to say it, wants to admit that losing what he has in Kepler terrifies him, just so he can hear-

“Never. You make me so fucking happy.” Barclay kisses him tenderly, keeps tracking his bite marks with a finger, “please stay. Stay for as long as you want."

"What if I want forever?" He rests his face on Barclay's shoulder as the siren spins them, dance-like, in the water.

"I think we can manage that."

[kamaria-sweet-writes]

Mermay prompt (Laiken) Part 3

**Laiken**

I’d been standing there for pretty close to 20 minutes as he continued his tirade. I was inconsiderate, uncaring and most of all I was a horrible daughter for putting him through what I did. It didn’t matter that I’d traveled nearly 14 hours to get where I was. All he cared about was that he wasn’t the first priority after I’d landed. “Are you listening to me, Laiken Skye?”

I groaned at the utterance of my middle name which only spurred him on more.

“I knew I should’ve let you leave. You’ve been there for what, a few hours and already you’re acting like your mother. Like you’re too good for me.” I braced myself for his tongue lashing. He only brought up mom when he was pissed off. “Don’t forget that she dropped you like day old garbage just the same as me, Princess.” he spewed venom at me over the phone line “She will toss you aside again and then you’ll have to come home to me.” I cringed at the thought of going back home. Of staying in that house with him for the rest of my life.

Tears were streaming down my face not because of him yelling at me but because I was letting him do it. Here I was 3,500 miles away from him yet I’m still afraid as if he was standing in front of me.

I took a deep breath before pulling the device from my ear and hanging up on him mid sentence. I turned off the phone for good measure because I knew he would be calling me back and I didn’t know if I had the strength to deny his calls after he would deploy his tactics. They would always reel me back in. Not this time though. Thankfully enough he wouldn’t dare try something so nefarious on someone else’s phone. He didn’t want his precious reputation besmirched by something so odious.

I stood there trying to will the tears away but I was left standing on the deck weepy eyed. Who does this to their children? What made him think this was ok on any level? I sniffled and a tissue was thrust in my direction making me jump in response. How hadn’t I known that some came out here?

I took the tissue and dabbed at my eyes before dealing with my nose. “Are you ok?” His voice wrapped around me again just like the first time I’d heard it. “You’ve been crying.” I winced as the pad of his thumb made contact with my cheek where he’d wiped a rougue tear away. “I’ll not hurt you, Laiken.”

Crazy to say, but I believed what he’d said. “Thank you.” He just nodded before joining me at the railing that skirted the whole home. We stood there in comfortable silence for some time listening to the water crashing around us before making our way back into the cottage where the party was still in full swing.

“Come on.” He slid his hand onto the small of my back before ushering me through the house straight to the restroom “Clean up, I’ll wait here till you finish.” I blushed but complied, cleaning up my tear streaked face and pinning my hair back in place before heading back out to the waiting guests. True to his word Taine was waiting right outside the door for me. His smile was something you’d dream about and it elicited one from me in response. “Barnabus is looking for you, I’ll take you to him.” His shift in attitude could be sensed but I said nothing about it. It’s like he’s almost irritated but… not with me.

Again his hand was laid on the small of my back as he ushered me forward. It’s silly to feel grounded with someone you don’t know, right? My mind was sent a flutter feeling the warmth of his palm pressed against such an intimate area though. I stole glances when I could but his eyes stayed forward and his smile was all but gone. What happened?

Even with my mind elsewhere I didn’t miss the way everyone was looking at us including my mother. The attention was really starting to get to me but just when I thought I’d lose it I was placed in front of Barnabus and the hand that was planted on the small of my back promptly left my form leaving me wanting it back where it was. “Sparrow, let’s go talk.” We walked away leaving Taine where he stood. “This is a lot, tell me how you’re doing? I heard you were crying on the deck.” I sighed before telling him just what happened. “Ahh, I thought it was Taine that upset you. I’ll need to apologize when we get back inside.” I let out the most unladylike chortle in the history of chortles before kissing his cheek.

“Da, he’s just getting to be too much. Living with him is nightmarish and I’m sure you know just what I mean.” He nodded before pressing his own kiss to my temple. There was no way he was able to ignore the way my father treated my mother over the years especially when it came to her seeing me. To say he was holding a grudge would be a gross understatement.

“I know but let’s not focus on him tonight. There are still people in there vying for your attention and wanting to get to know you.” I watched a slow smile cross his face as he took in my dress. “This suits you.” He spun me around and I giggled. This is something you do with your toddler, not your fully grown daughter but he didn’t care. “I am so happy to have you home, My Sparrow.” Home. How I wished somewhere so beautiful could be my home.

“Stop keeping her to yourself, Love. She’s here for 2 weeks so how about you share her tonight?” Mom and her flair for the dramatic. We’d only been on the deck for a few minutes but according to her, it’s like we have been out here all night.

I watched as he advanced on her before planting a kiss on her lips declaring his love like he always did. I wanted that. Wanted what they had with one another but who would put up with someone so damaged?

I followed behind the pair into the house breaking away from them when I found a group of women to chat with. They didn’t look much older than I was so I figured this was as good a place as any to start my night in. Lots of gossip about some other clan and their Chieftain flitted about but all I did was sip my drink and nod along until I found a place in the conversation to leave respectively. Their chatter left much to be desired and I found myself surfing the room in search of some type of engaging conversation.

“Not having fun?” Taine. I looked up at him and shook my head. I felt out of place like I always had. I didn’t know anything about life here or how the social structure worked so I was just a wall flower all over again. I didn’t want that for myself anymore. “Wanna get outta here? I know this place down by the water where we can watch the moon rise.” Tempting, but my mother wanted me here where I could talk to our Clan.

I looked around the room trying to gauge whether or not I could actually sneak out but I found her watching me from the corner of the room. Creepy. “She would kill me if I left this little get together” I pointed to where she was standing “but I will take a raincheck.”

We ended up moving around the room together for the rest of the night. Where I was Taine stood right next to me if not right behind. I found my in when the conversation shifted into one about the environment. That I could work with and I did for the next few hours.

Who knew being social could zap your energy reserves like that? I didn’t. I tried in vain to will the sleepiness away but nothing helped. I was in a near perpetual state of yawning when I was lead away from the conversation. I listened as Taine excused the both of us and deep down I was thankful for it. I wasn’t sure how much longer I’d be able to last in the state I was in.

I was transferred from one set of arms to another before I was escorted up the stairs to my bedroom. I stripped off my dress before washing my face and climbing into bed. My head hit the pillow and sleep took me quickly.

There were no nightmares to speak of. This time I was greeted by the sweet embrace of another. Large, warm and rumbly my companion was. “I’ve been waiting for you, Laiken .” A soft caress against my cheek followed by a warm chuckle. “Sleep now, nothing will harm you while you’re in my arms.” I believed him, whoever he was and for the second time in moments I’d drifted off.

**Taine**

I made it all of 15 minutes of waiting for Laiken to walk back through the door before leaving Barnabus with the rest of his family. At first I was just gonna wait at the door but when I heard the crying I had to go make sure she was ok. Why I all of a sudden felt this need to go to her I would never know but it wasn’t something I could just ignore. Just like the sudden pull I felt when I laid eyes on her, this time was no different.

I stepped out onto the deck, sure to close the door behind me quietly. There she stood against the railing wiping furiously at her face trying to stifle the tears that still demanded to be let loose. I offered her a tissue. Albeit a little roughly since I was trying to control my own irritation at the situation. “Are you ok?” I watched her dab at her eyes before unceremoniously blowing her nose into the wad of paper. She didn’t say anything, just stood there looking worn out.

When a rogue tear slipped from her eye unexpectedly I stepped into her space catching it with the pad of my thumb. Soft. Her skin was so soft but when she winced I crumbled a bit inside. “I’ll not hurt you, Laiken” I speak the deepest truth I’d dared ever to to speak. I wouldn’t hurt her. Not if I could help it.

She seemed to relax a bit and I was able to just stand out there with her listening to the waves crash the beach. I didn’t want to break these moments of peace for her but there were people inside waiting to get some time with her. I looked at her face before we walked inside and figured she’d want to clean up before meeting some of these people for the first time. I lead her to the restroom and let her know I’d be waiting for her once she came out.

I wasn���t the only one that noticed her face and I was rushed by an angry Barnabus “What happened?” He didn’t even give me the chance to respond before starting again “I leave you to court her and I find her crying not even 30 minutes later? Did I make the wrong decision? Maybe I should’ve gone with one of the others you mentioned.” He threw his arms up before turning away from me “Bring her to me once she’s out of there.” And with that he walked away from me leaving me pissed. If he would’ve given me the chance to explain he would know I had nothing to do with her crying.

She came out looking like the episode never happened in the first place. I smiled and got one in response before remembering Barnabus and his little request. “Barnabus is looking for you, I’ll take you to him.” I tried to hide the irritation in my tone but watching her reaction I can tell I’d failed at that. Instead of trying to explain myself I just led her to where Barnabus was waiting to talk to her. I didn’t miss the way her body shivered at my touch nor the glances she kept throwing over her shoulder but I needed to get her to the Chieftain. I didn’t want any more misunderstandings where Laiken was involved.

I watched him walk away with her no doubt getting ready to interrogate her to find out just what I’d done to her to make her cry. I hope he feels like shit when he realizes I had nothing to do with it.

Having no one else to converse with, I pulled out my phone to make sure all was well within our territory. There was a report of Eion on the island but that wasn’t abnormal considering he ran tourists around the beaches in hopes of them meeting real selkies. It was ridiculous but the money was good and he didn’t make issues for us so he was fine to be here as long as his father stayed at the harbor.

My eyes drifted to the door when it was opened and she drifted through behind her parents. She really was beautiful and that dress just framed her perfectly. My eyes followed her as she tried to find a place to belong. That lasted all of a few minutes before she left to fill her drink yet again. “Not having fun?” She shook her head before looking down into the red liquid in her cup, swishing it around as she did “Wanna get outta here? I know this place down by the water where we can watch the moon rise.” Her head snood to the side where her mother was seated watching us like a lion would watch a gazelle. Why is she so intense?

“She would kill me if I left this little get together” she pointed to Danae and I sighed in defeat “but I will take a raincheck.” That just made the whole night better. I wasn’t sure before but after everything else I’m pretty sure she feels something.

I spent the rest of the night being close to her as we moved around the house. She introduced herself then did the same for me like everyone there didn’t know me already but I said nothing about it. She was adorable and I was basking in it while I could. I had to make a show of dominance when one of Barnabus’ nephews tried to make a move. I quietly put him in his place with a well placed hand on Laiken’s hip and a not so subtle glance into her eyes as she smiled up at me. Oh yeah, she feels something alright. The connection was there and I silently cheered in my head as I watched her blossom when the conversation shifted into something about our environment here.

Hours passed and I watched her yawn more and more frequently until she was just about swaying on her feet. She wanted to stay engaged in the conversation but I excused us both before leading her away from the group in search of Barnabus. “I’ll take her. Thank you for keeping her company, Taine. I am sure Barnabus is on the deck likely talking to his brothers. I know he wanted to have a word before you left tonight.” I nodded in acknowledgment before placing a kiss on Laiken’s hand.

Her sleepy smile was just as good as when she was full on beaming. I wanted to witness all her smiles. “Sleep well, Laiken. My number is in your phone should you want to get in touch.” She hmm’d in response before she was lead up the stairs. I would never have guessed that I would find my mate, let alone her being the Chieftains daughter. Mates were all but legend amongst our people these days. Denying her would’ve been the biggest regret of my life.

I’d stayed behind to help clean up the mess and rearrange the furniture if needed. Even with the guest of honor tucked into her bed conversations were still being had amongst the other guests. Around 1am Barnabus started showing people the door and I was only too glad to help in shooing the last couple of people out of the house.

I knew it’d been a while since I’d seen Danae and chuckled when I found her sprawled on the couch still holding a bottle of wine. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her like this. “You wouldn’t believe how stressed out she’s been.” I turned to look up at my Chieftain. He was picking up his mate. “She’s been planning this for what seems like forever. There were hiccups along the way but I’d say it turned out pretty good.” I nodded in agreement before picking up a few cups.

I’d had just about everything taken care of when he tapped my shoulder. “Forgive me for my temper. I- I just want good memories for her here and I got  so caught up thinking you’d fudged that up. I’ll try to refrain from doing it again.” He pulled me into a hug, patting me hard against my back.

“Think nothing of it. I’ll be heading home now if there’s nothing left to be done.” I waited for a beat before heading toward the door “Thank you for trusting me with Laiken. She’s amazing” he just smiled and nodded in agreement.

I left his house heading straight for mine. I grabbed my pelt and headed back out straight for the beach. The water had been calling me for a while and I needed to feel it against my skin. I tucked my pelt around me willing the shift. Safely cocooned I moved toward the ocean diving in soon as I had the ability to.

After some time I pulled myself onto a large rock where I could bathe in the moonbeams combing from the full moon above. How I wished I was able to bring Laiken here to witness this. No matter, she will see it soon enough.

Having remembered about the early morning I had ahead of myself I cut my swim short and made my way home. I looked around the small cottage once I was inside and started thinking of all the ways I could improve it, expand it and make something Laiken would be proud of me for. I felt like a lovesick pup but I was fine with it.

I showered before climbing into bed. I must’ve been more tired than I realized because I dozed with the phone in my hand, right after shooting off a text to Laiken.

The next 2 days were pretty routine outside of me making time to spend with Laiken. We’d done a few things like going out to lunch or grabbing ice cream after the dinner Danae had invited me to. I wanted to spend all my extra time with her but that might not bode well seeing as she doesn’t understand our customs.

“Laiken.” She looked up at me smiling nodding for me to go on “Now that you’ve been here a few days how are you liking it here?” She finished chewing the candy in her mouth.

“I love it. Albeit I haven’t seen it all though the things I have seen are beautiful. I could see myself moving here.” That made me happy. “I’d just need to find a place to live. I could live here but there’s only so much hanky panky I can handle when it comes to hearing my mom and Barnabus doing it.”

She made a gagging sound and I couldn’t help the chuckle that spilled out of me. “I get it. I have an extra room if ever you want to get away for a night or so. No expectations. I just want you to know you have options.” She nodded before turning back to the pie she was making. “Alright so, why is it called a cobbler instead of a pie?” She looked at me before shaking her head in exhaustion. I knew why but I loved the way she explained things to me.

“Taine, are you kidding me? I’m pretty sure we’ve gone over this.” I shrugged and she smiled knowingly before she went over the differences. Again. I hung off of her words and watched her mouth as she spoke. I loved the way her teeth would sink into her plump bottom lip when she was to think about her word choice. “Are you even listening to me?” I nodded before looking up into her eyes. I reiterated what she’d taught me, making her smile even bigger.

Dinner was served and dessert not long afterward. The meal was made by Laiken and I and it was delicious. I lingered around the cottage for longer than normal this time because I’d be gone for the next couple days for work. Barnabus had been tucked away with Danae while Laiken and I watched a movie.

“When I come back home from the outing would you fancy a proper date with me?” She looked so surprised I almost laughed but that would’ve been bad. “You can say no if you’re not interested.” She shook her head before speaking.

“I’d actually like that a lot. I just didn’t think someone like you would want someone like me.” Has she really not picked up on my flirty texts and touches? “We will settle plans once you’re home. I’m getting sleepy so I should walk you to the door.” And she did.

I made my way home where I sat thinking about why she’d possibly think so little about herself. She’s smart and gorgeous. Perfect in my book. Perfect and mine.

**Eion**

It had been days since I’d seen her on the ferry and I was starting to give up hope until she climbed aboard yet again. She wasn’t carrying luggage, just a small backpack on her back. I watched her as she sat alone looking out over the water. How bad I wanted to just talk to her but I can’t risk it. What if I stammer? Will she ridicule me?

No, she doesn’t seem the type to do that yet here I am still scared shitless. “Eion, get up here and help man the vessel.” I took another glance before turning to head back toward the navigation area. She was watching me. Our eyes locked and my stomach flipped. “Eion, get up here!” I grumbled before heading up to where my father was.

He was likely hungover after drinking well into the night. He did this far too much. I took charge of the vessel while he went about spewing his guts out in our private restroom.

I missed my chance to speak to her this time but I did notice the bow she wore in her hair. It looked like Tartan but I’d only seen one like it. Barnabus’ clan wore something spot on and that made me wonder just who she was. Perhaps I’ll get my chance to ask when she boards to head home?

I continued ferrying people back and forth from the mainland keeping an eye out for that beautiful woman. It wasn’t until late in the day that she’d stepped aboard and she was weighed down by her trip. “W-would you like a hand?” Her eyes met mine before a smile tore across her beautiful face. She had the cutest dimples that adorned her freckled cheeks.

“Yes please.” She extended her hand and I took the bags from her, depositing them next to where she’d sat. “Thank you” it was my turn to smile and I knew I resembled a loon.

I started to take my leave only to be stopped by her touch. “You’re Eion right?” I nodded “I’m Laiken, It’s nice to meet you.” If she isn’t the sweetest thing.

“Nice t-to meet you, Laiken. I should be goin’ this boat won’t navigate itself.” She chuckled before nodding in acknowledgment. Her laugh was like a breath of fresh air after being cooped up for days on end. I loved it.

The vessel started moving and I made my way to the navigation area where my father had taken control. “I have it from here. Find something to keep yourself busy.”

At his dismissal I went back to sit with Laiken. Laiken. Her name tasted amazing on my tongue and caused a smile to break out on my face. I hadn’t even noticed I was standing in front of her until she started giggling “You ok up there?” She queried looking up into my face.

I rubbed the back of my head nervously getting my fingers caught in the locks. “Yeah, I just wanted to know if you were interested in taking a tour.” She quirked a brow before shaking her head. Rejection.

“Not a Selkie tour but maybe... one of the islands?” She smiled up at me and rested her hands in her lap. “I’d like that a lot actually now that I think about it. Would you happen to be up for that kind of tour? I can of course pay you for your time.” Pay me? Just her spending time with me was more than enough payment for anything she wanted to do.

We were getting close to docking so I didn't have much time left. “You need not pay me, Laiken. I w-would be honored to take you on a t-tour of wherever you choose.” she nodded before pulling her phone out and handing it to me.

“Put your info in there so we can plan this out. I will call or text you tomorrow so we can start.” she was beaming “My mom is gonna be so excited when I tell her about this.” she was practically bouncing in her seat.

Again I noticed the tartan that was in her hair. Who is her Ma’? Before i could think to ask i was being summoned to the back of the ferry to prep for docking. “I gotta go.” i looked down at her sheepishly before turning on my heel and rushing toward where I needed to be. I smiled when I heard her call after me.

“I’ll see you soon, Eion.” her voice carried a subtle lilt to it making her sound almost playful. I loved it, I wanted to listen to her speak all day and night but right now I have to focus.

I ended up having to take care of a leak below deck and missed seeing her leave the ferry but I clutched my phone in my pocket remembering that I had an in now. “Best you stay away from that human, Boy.” I turned around and glared at my father. “Mark my words, that one is gonna be trouble.” I would never. According to him all humans are “Trouble” . Why would Laiken be any different?

[gottawriteanegoortwo]

Mermay - Dilliam - Calming the Merman

After the human sister and merfolk brother had an argument, Mark and William decide they need to step in to try and find a solution. Mark goes to talk to his fiancée, while William makes the trip outside to find Damien. Hopefully it goes well…

Word Count: 1,664

Part One, Part Two.

-

William carefully made his way down the steps to the rock pool. It was easier to navigate without the clunky boot toppling him off-balance, but it inspired him to consider making a safety railing to make it less treacherous. When he reached the bottom, he noticed that Damien was nowhere to be seen, confirming his hunch that something happened between the siblings. But rather than making it look too obvious that he was checking in on Damien, he pulled out his small notebook and pencil and began making notes. He didn't try being quiet either, as he counted the steps he took to the picnic bench, hummed and muttered to himself about various modifications, argued with himself about the pros and cons of a little wall at the bottom of the walkway, and even opened and closed the chest hidden in the rocks to test the condition of the hinges.

William's knocking of the picnic bench was the last straw as Damien slowly raised his head out of the water. William - who was mid-knock - froze at the sight of the glare he'd get from Celine in a more intimidating mer variant. 

"Pray tell there is a reason that you're making such a racket." William gulped, slowly lowering his hand back to the table.

"I didn't think anyone was here, so I thought I'd come down and start planning ahead -"

"Oh, yes. To go with whatever is needed to turn this into my 'home'. You don't need to work on anything. I don't need an enclosure."

-

"Enclosure?" William repeated with a confused blink. "I'm trying to see how I can weather-and-ocean-proof this place. Did you see this bench? It's not even painted, let alone varnished. It'll be ripped apart in a few years." Damien glared at William for several, long seconds before he sighed.

"Fine. Whatever. Just stop being so noisy." He began to move to go back under the water, only that William called his name.

"Wait wait! I need a second opinion. What colour should the bench be?"

"Why should I care? Any wood colour will be fine."

"But it can be painted any colour. The varnish to protect it would go on afterward and that dries clear. We could paint this like the rainbow if you wanted. Well, have a think about it." He was going to leave it at that, but should Damien be allowed to sulk underwater? "Actually, before you go, can you check something for me?" Damien rolled his eyes, but was too polite to simply refuse.

"... What?"

"The rocks. What are the bases like? Will they need any sort of support to keep them in place?" Damien nodded at the request and ducked under the surface.

"The rocks are well grounded. Storms shouldn't knock them," he responded once he emerged, "But you shouldn't put anything in between the rocks either. See how they're shaped? The water has gradually eroded them over the years. It means the water will flow through without causing disruption. Putting anything in the gaps would only create a blockade that would harm the creatures that make their home on the rocks underwater."

"Huh… I never considered that. So is it safe there?" Damien's nod had William quickly taking notes in his book. 

"Since the base of the rocks are closer together, it's the perfect spot to sleep without being disturbed. I don't need any sort of shelter."

"I wasn't going to build a shelter," William quickly reminded him.

"Sure. Celine probably told you she wanted somewhere for me to live and feel part of the family, right?" No answer. "Thought so. I'm only giving you the benefit of doubt since all this is new to you, but merfolk aren't the same as humans." William, genuinely interested in what he was being told, moved around the picnic table so he could sit on the ground closest to Damien. "Merfolk don’t live in ‘homes’. Instead, they have nests in a community setting. It's in our instinct to travel throughout the year. The distance and duration depends on the species, from what I've seen. Some migrate to warmer waters, others travel if they desire to breed -"

"Is that why you travel so much?" Damien's glare and raised fins had William whip his hands up in self-defence again. "I'm curious! I'm a man who travels a lot as well!" 

"I suppose you might understand better than others, mayhaps." His collarbone fins settled down to their normal position again as he swam forward to lean against one of the rocks protecting the path beside William. "It started from trying to find our distant relatives when I was old enough to make the voyage across the Pacific. Over time, it became fuelled by my need to understand mer culture. Being raised like a human child has its advantages, but I missed a lot of vital skills and cues that would help me as an adult. I had certain habits as a child that my family thought were merely quirks, but they were instincts I was trying to develop, and had to relearn in later years. I couldn't hold it against them - no one in my family knew what to do - but they have a habit of trying to… humanise me, I suppose." Damien rested his chin on the cool rock with a sigh, the tip of his tail idly bobbing up and down.

"In them trying to do what's best for you, they think of it from a human point of view?" At least, that's how William was understanding it. The merman nodded solemnly as his eyes lowered to the rocks.

"It sounds like I'm so ungrateful for everything they've done, doesn't it?"

"I don't think so. You know what's best for you. And I've been tasked to do right by you. So… What would you like done here?" When Damien looked up at the question, William felt his heart tighten in sympathy for the poor merman. "What I mean is - can you think of anything that might make this place feel a little more homely by merfolk standard? I've done handiwork in houses before, but never nesting grounds. If we're doing this, it needs to be done right. But I’ll be working in the house first, so whatever needs to be done here will be a little lower down the list. And even then, I have small tasks to do here first - like, did no one think of buying a box with waterproofed hinges? They're already starting to rust. I could probably find paint to have it blend it better into the rocks and -"

"William?" Damien's voice cut the rambling clean in two. "Thank you. It's nice talking to someone who has no experience with any of this but who wants to learn. I feel like you honestly want to listen to me instead of deciding on my behalf. I’ll have a think about your offer." William looked down. The pair locked eyes and smiled simultaneously.

"You're welcome. But between you and me, I'd choose your opinion over Celine's when it comes to the rock pool."

"I'd certainly hope so. This isn't even a rock pool. It's a rocky shore. You see how the rocks slope gradually at the base of the cliff? It would normally be hidden by sand on the beaches you might be used to. A rock pool is a shallow pool of water that forms in rock that has been eroded by the tide over many years."

"Oh. I didn't know that. I thought it was called a rock pool since this section looks a little like a swimming pool surrounded by rocks? You know, the rocks stop the tide pulling you away in this little bit, but then you can go that way into the proper ocean?"

Damien paused, lifting his head to take in the surroundings with a different viewpoint. As he realised that William was right, he giggled. The soldier had to quickly rely on years of military practice to keep a straight face. That sound was unlike anything he had heard before, including previous times Damien laughed. It was music to his ears. He was enthralled.

"I wouldn't be opposed to calling this place 'The Rockpool' for that reason. Mayhaps we could ask Celine to make a sign…. Oh no." Memories of their last conversation came back to him in a flash. "I was so angry at her earlier. Could… Could you fetch her for me? I need to apologise. I should know better than to lose my temper. It isn't right." As much as he wanted to continue talking to William, he needed to set things right. William seemed to agree as he slowly climbed to his feet and stretched.

"Clearing the air is a good idea. I can tell you that she doesn't want to build you a house. All she wants is for you to feel comfortable, but perhaps she doesn't fully know what that is since she might actually be thinking from a human standpoint." William slowly shook life back into his legs as he added, "For what it's worth, I'll be doing the work. Whatever happens here will need your approval first. End of." It was a reassurance that worked wonders. He dismissed himself and made his way toward the steps to find Celine.

"Orange!"

"Pardon?" William was barely halfway up the stairs before he spun around to the water. Damien had swum across the pool toward the steps, his demeanour already brighter.

"I want the picnic table to be orange! Some of the corals I love in the nesting grounds are orange."

"Orange it is!" William gave a salute and picked up the pace to hurry back inside. Once out of sight, Damien dove back into the water to quickly do laps and shake off some of the energy that built up while talking to William. What was it about William that made Damien feel like everything was going to be alright?

Was this love?

[crystalninjaphoenix]

MerMay 2021 Day Thirteen Meet and Make Up

The reef turned bioluminescent at night. Most merm-made structures tended to do so. After all, it made it both easier to see, and was quite pretty as well. For once, Schneep paused to admire the glow of the coral and plants. It was truly lovely. But he hadn’t moved here for the view.

Shaking his head, he returned to the task at hand. Prying back a rock, he caught a glimpse of a few colorful sea slugs fleeing back into the small hole they were hiding in. “Hello, there,” he said. “Do not worry, I am not here for you.” This particular type of sea slug was really rare; he didn’t think humans even knew about them. They produced a sort of mucus that helped immensely in healing open wounds. Marvin told him it also had some magical properties.

Schneep reached into his bag and pulled out a glass jar, unscrewing the lid. Carefully, he reached into the small crevice and started scraping up some of the mucus left on the rock. 

He was just resealing the jar when a voice behind him said, “Hey.”

“Aak!” Schneep almost dropped the jar, but barely caught it before it smashed on the rocky floor.

“Oh my gods I’m so sorry!” He turned around...and saw her. Vea, the merm who’d decided to move into his reef despite his clear disapproval. She had a new shirt today, it looked vaguely purple in the light provided by the local glowing flora. “I didn’t mean to—”

“What are you doing here?” Schneep cut her off. “I have not seen you in a week.”

“Right. Yes. Well.” Vea backed up, tentacles curling up. “Your shark friend explained the situation to me, so I’ve been out and about, you know, looking for somewhere else. But I um...well, I felt pretty bad about it.”

Schneep raised an eyebrow. “You did?”

“Yeah, I didn’t realize you were serious.” Vea winced. “That sounds bad now that I say it out loud. I-I don’t know, maybe it was a cultural thing. When people are insistent about something where I’m from, they’re usually exaggerating.”

“I see.” Schneep put the jar he was holding back into his bag. “Well, in this area, it is very different. For example, I have a friend, he is freshwater but he sometimes comes by, if you take that joking approach with him he will be very confused and a bit distressed.”

“Right.” Vea looked down. “Well, um. I’m sorry.”

Schneep looked her over. She seemed genuinely upset, and more than a little guilty. “It is okay. Now you know not to do it again.”

“Yeah.” Vea leaned down, picking up a shapeless sort of bag with two straps. It looked handmade, but of high-quality. “Anyway, I wanted to bring some things over to help with the apology.” She opened a flap and reached inside the bag. “It’s not much, but I am a weaver, so I thought I’d use that skill here.” She started pulling out things, all woven out of various plant material. “There’s this poncho, you put it around your shoulders and it’s pretty loose. Stays wet for a while so it helps if you’re going up to the surface for extended periods of time. Um, I have a couple tail cozies—or I guess they’d be tentacle cozies for us. Various colors. Some sleeves with designs. And I made a shirt for your shark friend, it has a space for his dorsal.”

“Oh.” Schneep was momentarily overwhelmed. The last thing he expected was gifts. He didn’t really know what he should say. “Ah...sleeves?” Well, not that.

“Yeah, sleeves. It’s—hang on.” Vea pulled on one of the sleeves. It only covered her forearm. “Normally they’d go with a shirt, too, but you can just wear the sleeves by yourself. I have three pairs here, that’s probably a bit excessive, but I just got in the zone, you know?”

“Oh, arm cozies, I see.” Schneep nodded.

“What? I’ve never heard someone call them that.”

“Really? It would just be easier to have them be the same as tail cozies, yes? They are basically the same thing.”

“Eh.” Vea shrugged. “A-anyway, they’re all for you, except for the shirt. Uh...yeah.” She picked all the clothes up and put them back in the bag, shoving it towards Schneep. “You can keep the bag, too, I have a lot of them. I can see you already have one so...maybe you can give that to someone else, too.” She waited anxiously, her tentacles lightening to a nervous yellow-white.

Schneep took the bag. “Well...thank you very much, Vea.” He smiled a bit. Hopefully it wasn’t too awkward. “I do appreciate it.”

Vea nodded. “No problem.” She backed up a bit. “Anyway...yeah, now that I’m moving, I’ll just stay out of your scales. You won’t see me again.”

“Hey, well, I—you understand I did not have a problem with seeing you?” Schneep suddenly asked. Part of him wondered what he was doing. Another part, the part that sounded like Jack, said he should get to know this new merm more. “I just need some space. I would not even let a friend move in here.”

“Oh.” Vea paused. Then she grinned. “Well, that’s good, ‘cause I was worried about what to do if I got sick and the only healer for miles didn’t like me.”

Schneep rolled his eyes. “I would not let something like that get in the way even if those were my feelings. Which, ah, they are not.”

“Well that’s great then.” The relief in Vea’s voice was evident. “In that case, there’s an old wreck over that way, a bit deeper.” She pointed westward. “Probably used to be home to a shipwrecking group years ago. A lot of plant life around. I’ve decided to stay there. If you ever want something woven or just want to stop by.”

Schneep nodded. “I will make a note of it. And thank you again, for the gifts.”

Vea nodded back. “Well, I’ll be seeing you, then.” She turned and swam away, back in the direction she’d pointed.

After she disappeared over a ridge, Schneep let out a long breath. That was a bit awkward there for a while, but it worked out, didn’t it? And he was glad to be on good terms with her. Now, time to head back home. He’d be sure to make use of the gifts in the future.

[ettawritesnstudies]

Etta’s big creative to do list for when I’m not drowning in final exams

(the rest are below the cut because this got LONG! I am putting this here so you have some idea of the stuff I’ll be posting about come Monday 5/11 and also so I can find it again instead of putting it in my notebook where it will inevitably get lost among my fluids practice and history essay jottings. if you’re curious about the fact that I am not yet done with my semester, yes, I am absolutely procrastinating an essay right now by writing this. don’t worry about it.)

FINISH STORGE!! I’m only like 3 chapters away from writing The End and I desperately want to do that this year so I can edit and start sharing snippets with alpha readers by this time next year at the latest :D

Outline the Laoche Chronicles

this includes the trilogy outline in broad strokes to make sure everything sets up the next points

a detailed outline for the first book which will need a name eventually

(my outlining process can be found here!)

Character profiles for all the new OCs

(this process can be found in this post!

worldbuilding write-up questionnaire for the new civilizations that’ll feature in the main trilogy and differ from Storge

Learn how to make edits for tumblr because graphic design and anything resembling Proper Authors Platform Branding continue to elude me

This won’t happen this month, but I need to do a cleanout of the social media’s I do have so I can put writing stuff there too and start a proper Author’s Internet Presence. If I do finish Storge this year, I’ll be looking for beta readers eventually and I need to have something to show for myself. This includes...

doing a mass edit of this blog and organizing my tags

teaching myself HTML/CSS and making a custom blog theme that works for my needs or commissioning someone to do this for me

making a Laoche Chronicles wip page

buying a domain and designing an actual authors website

making an #aesthetictrash book Instagram? I’m vaguely aware this is something people do but I only use insta for it’s chat feature with my college friends so I know not the first thing about how that works

I have a disasterous Pinterest that’s 100% private boards for my various bits of nonsense that needs to be turned into a place to showcase WIP aesthetics

I refuse to touch twitter nor facebook nor snapchat nor ticktock with a fifteen foot pole

if you couldn’t tell by now, I was that kid who had a brick trac-phone until 10th grade, and used my smartphone primarily as a music device until very recently

Write a considerable backlog for my Newsies fanfic so I don’t fall behind whenever I go to my internship in a month

Finish the intro for my Vampire Plague Doctor Buddy Cop story and the Chaotic SFF Academia idea that I started last month, and write a few one shots for those Maybe start posting them somewhere if I’m happy with how they turn out?

Make a proper quilt from the 10389238320923 old event t-shirts I have sitting in a pile in the basement so I can take it to college with me in the fall. (also maybe mockup a walking skirt out of an old sheet, so I at least have an idea of what to do whenever proper fabric stores open again)

It’s going to be below freezing tomorrow for SOME REASON despite being MID- MAY, but I need to plant my garden and make a compost pile at some point

Make a list of art skills to start practicing so I can tackle the concept of “learning to draw” in a logical manner like you would in a class, and start doing these drills

Also participate in the rest of MerMay

Read a few books! My current next list of TBR looks like this

Illthdar! I have been dying to get my hands on @illthdar‘s book but I didn’t want to start it during the school year and then have to inevitably put it down like two chapters in because I had boring real life obligations to attend to, so this is my first read for as soon as I’m done with the semester on Sunday.

Pride and Prejudice, which I've heard is excellent and regrettably not actually read yet (nor any of Austen, yes I’m a heretic I know, but I’m also an engineering student and 90% of my time is spent doing maths)

Storm of Fire and Blood - I have had this book for a year and put it down because of school which is a crying shame because I really love this series! For any religious/historical fiction fans I highly recommend the Sword and Serpent trilogy! It’s a retelling of the story of St. George and the Dragon long before he’s ever a saint. I think anyone could enjoy it, but if you’re Catholic or enjoy early Christian history, you’ll get a lot of the references and saint cameos and it’s just! A lot of fun!!

also my patron St. Katherine of Alexandria is a major character in the 2nd and 3rd books and she’s absolutely wonderful so I might be just a little bit biased

Make a few watercolor maps of the world of Laoche! Including detailed maps of the city of Maaren where Storge takes place, and Arga (one of the countries in the later trilogy)

update my bullet journal which has been languishing unused on my dresser since march when I moved home from college 

Carve new dulcimer hammers and teach myself a few songs. (also maybe try to make a longbow or new bridges for the dulcimer but that’s all probably a BIT of a stretch)

Brush up on my piano and guitar practice because I am very very rusty. I need to find some new songs to learn because I don’t really want to relearn Debussy or Chopin again, but I need to find some good ones first...

If you’re still reading this. Wow. Congratulations. That was a lot. and thank you! But yeah! This is what’s been knocking around in my head recently while I was supposed to be studying, but now that it is out of my head and into a post hopefully I will be able to focus again :P This is extremely ambitious and I 100000% will not be able to finish everything on this list, but! it is a plan! Wish me luck!

[thecardsimagine]

Of shipwrecks and seafoam

Summary: Let me tell you a story about a pirate and a merman, finding a love that goes beyond insecurities and death. Let yourself be taken away onto a journey about doubt and secrets, understanding and a bond that even goes beyond the deep blue of the ocean.

Pairing: Merman!Julian Devorak x Pirate!Reader (Nonbinary) Rating: Mature because of swearing and suggestive content Warning: Blood, Death, Killing Genre: Romance, Drama, Alternate Universe

a/n: I originally wanted to post it tomorrow, but since I finished so many requests, I didn’t want to take up a request post with my own writing. So today was just as good as any and I am STOKED. I’ve been planning this story carefully and I was so looking forward to writing it and here it is!! I hope I don’t disappoint myself halfway in and I hope you guys enjoy it too! Leave me a comment on what you think about it if you got the time, I’d love to hear your thoughts on it! MerMay woop!

Prologue

You gasped for air, holding on to the mast as tightly as you could as the enemy ship rammed into yours. With a loud creak, as loud as the growling thunder from above, the floor under you split, marking the end of the wooden transport device you had called your home for so long now. You could hear your comrades shrieking, the captain urging everyone to continue and to fight, but you had long lost your bite in this war. For you, it was over.

Panicked, you looked around, trying to make out the dinghy. Even if all your supplies were going to sink with the enormous boat, the smaller one would secure your survival at least for a while. But your hopes were cruelly shattered as you heard a splash that did not fit the usual ones around you. You couldn’t even see the dinghy anymore, hidden somewhere below your vision, as some of your - still alive - comrades had already begun sinking it and rowing off. There were many, many more people on the ship, but that lifeline had been torn.

There was another loud, terrible crash as the enemies struck again. With the rain pouring down mercilessly, you felt your grip slip away in the rumble all around you. The sounds of cannons being fired rang through your brain like nothing had ever before, even after all the countless sea battles you had participated in before. And there was the thunder, always the thunder that seemed to reprimand everyone for their actions in this war.

You were no coward, but in the very moment that you felt your grip on the mast loosened, you felt an unspeakable fear falling over you. This was the end. That was the moment you’d die. Your fingers let go of the wooden pillar, helplessly trying to reach for a stray rope that was close by. But you missed and instead, fell backwards. Suddenly, the noises were blocked out by the fear in you, your own screams echoing through the night, as your body tumbled to the floor.

Like so many of the other people you had lived with, your body spun over, your shoulders crashed into the ground, your head hit it only seconds later. There was no way you could say which direction you were going anymore, as you rolled into the one of the open water, unable to stop yourself from tumbling overboard.

However, before you fell to your sure death, you once more got to feel the indescribable pain of having your body pierced. For a second, your tumble got held back by the broken railing, split wood piercing into the side of your torso, making you shriek in pain. But your body reacted, gripping onto what was left of the railing, your hands bleeding as the clawed into the last hold you had.

Never before had you felt as seasick as now that you could see the raging, black waters below you. The movement in you had been strong enough to have you involuntarily sway from side to side. You readjusted your grip multiple times, whimpering every time you could feel the sting in your body from all your wounds. You wished this was all a bad dream, that none of this really happened and you’d wake up in your hammock soon, ready to sweep the deck for the day. But the reality was harsh, cold and dark. If not for the blood on your hands, you might have been able to hang on long enough for someone to pull you up, but the more you readjusted, the slippery it got.

Soon enough you were hanging by your last two fingers only, frantically looking back and forth between water and boat until suddenly - another crash. Another hit from your enemies, another death sentence for so many of you. Without warning you got tossed off the boat, hearing only the thunder above you and feeling the hard clash as you hit the water and then…

Silence.

Nothing anymore, just irregular splashes which you could faintly make out. If not for the creeping feeling in your lungs, you would have thought that this was it, the end of the long dream. But the longer you stayed underwater, the more your lungs screamed in pain, your body convulsing and trying to get back to the surface. You felt like you were on fire, the wounds burning because of the sea salt, your lungs giving out on their function without air to supply them, and your eyes burning as you tried to see anything. There was so much panic in every cell of your body, the adrenaline kicking in to help you survive an almost impossible situation.

You knew you had breached the surface when you heard the screams and the cracks again. More and more people splashed into the waters, mostly dead than alive. Right in front of your eyes - from the little bit you could see through your blurry vision - you saw the boat dividing itself into two pieces, barrels falling overboard as well as people jumping to what they thought was better than staying on the ship. You knew, or at least, your body knew it had to get away from the sinking piece of wood that would tear everyone down with it, but you could only watch in pure disbelieve, mixed with sadness, mixed with the inevitable knowledge that you’d die when it sank.

You almost saw the mast you had previously held on before too late as it came into your direction. It was almost too hypnotic to take your eyes off of it, as it slowly fell over you and your mouth let out another scream while your mind recited a silent prayer. And with the last bit of consciousness you had, you sank back into the water as deep as you could, hoping that whatever being had heard your pleads, would rescue you.

A loud groan escaped your body and you instinctively gripped your side, feeling the pain of it erupting through your nerves. Under your dirty, bloody fingers you felt a slimy consistency and your eyes shot open in a moment of realization.

You were not dead.

Sure, everything hurt. From your hands that stung like a million bees, to your head which had gotten hit pretty hard after all. The place you were laying was uncomfortable, crunching every time you moved around, though when you gripped into it, you felt all too familiar sand running through your fingers.

More groans escaped you as you tried to piece together the happenings of the night. It must have been hours since then, the sun blinding you so much, your eyes began to produce tears to water them. Your ship had been wrecked by another crew of pirates, you had lost your grip on the mast, plummeted against the railings and fell into the water where the mast almost battered you to death. So far, it was clear to you what happened. But where were you now?

Hissing and whining from the pain you turned your body onto your healthy right side, hearing the sound of water softly splashing near you. Taking a moment to breathe deeply you squinnied your eyes tightly together, trying to get rid of the burning in them.

When you opened them again, you were met with another pair of eyes looking at you as if they were staring directly into your soul. Dark grey jewels that blinked shyly back at you, their color indescribable with the words you knew. They were surrounded by red strings, that looked like velvet hair, flowing in the water and they blinded you as they reflected the sun. If you had learned anything in all the years a pirate behind you, those features were not from an animal.

And they were not human either.

[iphoenixrising]

it's mermay!! will mer!au get another installment??

HI BABE

Ah, I mean, I hadn’t really thought about the Mer-thing tbh and someone sent an ask about the last one being a little too dubcon-ish. Which, I mean, I can understand. 

But between you and me, I feel like it would go something like this:

Once Dr. Drake broke the surface of the water, gasping in a deep breath of dirty Gotham Harbor air–

–his tail turns back into legs, and he’s frantically kicking to try and keep himself and his large belly afloat.

It’s only by sheer luck a few fishermen are coming in after a day out with the nets and see him starting to tire on the swim back to dry ground.

“M-My clothes are gone!”

They give him a spare set and let him use the phone to call Tam, and get a very nice pick-up.

The clothes are for someone probably twice his size and hide his belly, and she looks positively horrified and immensely relieved at the same time.

She’s kept up the rent on his apartment, been checking with GCPD’s missing person’s unit, kept the university abreast that yes, Dr. Drake is still missing. So she does take him home, make him hot tea, and listen to the most INCREDIBLE story of her life.

“Th-they’re real? That’s! And you’re!”

“Yes and yes,” his voice is hoarse, the shakes mostly subsided. “We’ve found evidence in bits and pieces over the last fifty years, Tam. It’s not as far fetched as you might believe. The fact I’m…pregnant is another thing entirely.”

“Well, I mean, I can’t exactly throw you a baby shower, Tim.”“I need to find a doctor that can be discreet.”

At this juncture, Dick and Jay have gone back to their clan to tell them what has happened to their poor mate. The head of their clan gives them each a bit of magic trapped in shells.

“These will help you. You will understand the language of the land-walkers.”“How will we get to him?”“Use the magic, my clansmen. It will direct you to what you seek.”

It would be something for the two to get close to the surface and whisper to the shells how much they want to find their little mate. They want to love and protect him, they want to be by his side.

And the magic throbs in hand, gives them the legs they need to walk on land for the first time.

If anyone had seen how they wobbled and fell all over the beach trying to get used to standing, it would probably be hilarious. But in reality, the two are one hundred percent invested on getting this walking thing down so they can keep following the scent trailing through the city before they lose it.

It takes a while, but they’re able to walk well enough to see land walker coverings  behind some glass. Jay breaks it casually so they can get in and help themselves to some that fit quite nicely. They leave authentic gold doubloons on the counter as payment.

The foot coverings are odd, but it feels much nicer than when they step on the street without them.

The two walk and listen to land walkers, the magic shells allowing them to understand the language and many of the references to the world above the waves.

They’re probably suffering culture shock, wandering around Gotham to see everything and try to catch their mate’s scent again.

…while Tim has contacted the only expert he thinks could be discreet enough (and might believe everything) to help.

Dr. Ra’s al Ghul, Aquatic Mythos.

He goes in to his office at the University, has to explain to his research team where he’d been the last two months and hide the fact he’s pregnant.

It takes him a few days to get reintegrated with where they are in their work, and meeting deadlines for studies, etc. Business as usual.

(And does Tim angst about it after Tam leaves him alone finally and he has a night in his apartment to inhale everything, to rub his swollen belly and feel the little life kick inside. To love it without even really trying. To think about what could have happened if he’d stayed in the ocean, stayed with them–)

Tim gets used to his balance being off, to being hungry at odd times of the night, gets caught up on news and things during his spare time when he’s not catching up on work.

It’s only been a few days back, but he’s absolutely on his game (he’s going to have a child to look after), already setting up a request for a brief leave to go abroad and study on-site of a large research program. 

He’ll come back with (Minnow at the moment, but that might change depending on what he finds out if he can access to an ultrasound machine) a child in nine months, telling everyone it’s the child of a family member or something.

By the time the baby comes, he’ll have a plan.

As it turns out, his request is approved. He can go out to the coast and hide away, study, and swim in open waters until Minnow is ready to come into the world. Trust that it’s Dr. al Ghul to personally deliver the approval letter.

In his office.With the usual intense interest.But Ra’s may be the only one that could think of some archaic legend that could at least give him an idea how he’s going to have this baby or if mermen impregnating human men was ever, you know, a thing?

“I’m disappointed you have yet to come see me, Timothy,” while casually touching his hand and arm, “I was hoping you would have the moment you returned. And here I find you are off again so soon?”

“I’m doing some very important research,” he tries for casual, “I’d like to write another book soon. I think this one might be more…interesting…than the last.”

“Mm, I see. Should you have need of my extensive knowledge, Doctor, I am readily available.”

“I was kind of hoping you’d say that–”

Jay and Dick meanwhile have gone through the whole city on foot, taking in everything.

They meet so many land walkers and sit for hours in various parks, people watching, waiting, hoping for a sign.  Somewhere along the way, they traded a few shiny golds for much much greenery and someone on the street showed them what the paper meant.

They’ve eaten at different restaurants, gone to clubs and found the tradition of body writhing to loud sounds very fun.

But since Tim has gone against his instincts and told Ra’s al Ghul he might have proof of the existence of merfolk, the man is completely at attention.

(Proof? Then he would be welcomed back in the intellectual circles again, would regain his place and be out of Gotham for good.) 

When Tim starts asking about mermen mating humans, and any myths on children from that union–

–Ra’s al Ghul realizes the opportunity he has here.

“Hm. I seem to remember a few legends, but those books are in my personal library at home. Come over this evening and I’ll pull out a few of them. Perhaps we can uncover the details?”

Babe.

Babe.

You know what happens next. 

Ra’s drugs Tim’s soothing tea and unbuttons his shirt, finding out the truth.

Dick and Jay catch the scent of their mate from a creepy looking land walker carrying a bottle of sparkling cider and an evil grin.

When they see their mate pass out on the floor and the land walker starting to undress them, the fight is on.

The two are ruthless taking their mate from this man who dared touch his belly where their young lay.

And when Tim had admitted to Tam he was going to Ra’s tonight to do research about this little problem, she’d been worried enough to break into the records room of the university to get the address just in case. 

Jay is carrying their unconscious mate when a car stops right in front of them and Tam throws open the door.

“What are you doing with him!!”

The female is utterly terrifying.

“He is our mate!” Dick defends, stepping between her and Jay, “you cannot have him!”

“What?! He’s my boss, and you! You’re supposed to have a fish tail!”

Sirens rent the air and she yells at them to get in the damn car before the police come. Make it snappy fish-face!

It comes down to Tim waking up from the sedative Ra’s drugged him with laying on Tam’s couch in the lap of the two mermen holding him tightly and nuzzling against his face, patting his squirmy belly.

[pan-princess-levy]

sea gifts

characters: levy mcgarden and gajeel redfox rating: gen word count: 1,679 summary: 

while collecting seashells, levy makes a new friend. in a rather unusual way.[mermaid au for mermay. first part of many.]

read also on ffnet and ao3

matching art piece here, drawn by me

The water was halfway up her shins when Levy saw the dorsal fin.

It had been a long day of work—sitting some village children in the morning and then running around the shop for most of the afternoon. Levy had bid her parents goodbye before running off, eager to spend the last couple hours of sunlight doing her most favorite past time.

There were, after all, some positives in living just by the beach. (Even though the breeze could turn cold in times and they ended up with more bugs than most other places.) She'd run home from her parents' flower shop and then immediately headed out to the rocky shore just outside of their humble home.

For the hour and half of fun time she'd allowed herself, Levy had managed to fill half her bag with shells. Pride filled her chest every time she'd found a different piece in the water—some in soft cream, some in oily black—all unique. Some of the village kids had often called her strange for her fixation with the sea, but Levy could barely go through a day without the thick scent of saltwater and seaweed on her lungs, without the scrape of sand and wet stone against her soles.

And then she'd noticed the shark.

Sharks were not, exactly, a common occurrence at the reefs. They weren't particularly rare one either—sightings were known to happen at least once per week. Reef sharks were curious animals and often would wander close to the shore. There were many attractions for tourists in the area to go swimming with sharks. Back when she was little, a family friend had arranged Levy to go along one and she'd even managed to pet one. The people here, long used to their unusual neighbors, lacked some of the irrational fear inland people seemed to possess.

This particular shark, however, didn't seem to be exploring.

Levy bit her teeth as she slowly straightened up, sliding the last shell into her bag. The shore stood just to her right. 5 meters? 10, perhaps? She could run that for a second. But… it might be more. Without her glasses, she wasn't quite as able to perceive the distance.

And the shark… She couldn't pin it down. Oh, sure, the dark dorsal fin stuck like a sore thumb in the setting sun's blazing light. But what kind of shark was it? How far was it?

Could she outrun it?

Levy knelt down and dug her hand into the wet sand. Her fingers brushed something hard and smooth and she tried to take it. A gasp slipped from her lips at the sharp stinging sensation. When she pulled her hand out of the water, red dripped from her open palm.

Distress filled her mind and an uncharacteristically colorful line of curses fell from her mouth. Levy stood up, perhaps a bit too fast, and took a couple of shaky steps before she regained her balance. Her vision was swaying. She wasn't grossed out by the blood— she was a med student, for Heaven's sake—but the situation at hand terrified her. She tried to force out the violent memories of all those childhood encyclopedias about how sharks were able to smell blood from kilometers in the water, but they pushed against her walls. Her vision blurred at the edges, eyes locked on the dark dorsal fin in the distance. So Levy did the most logical thing her frantic mind could come up with.

She dropped her bag and ran.

Luck was definitely not on her side. Barely a few steps later she promptly stepped on another broken shell. Or perhaps the same one she'd cut her palm on. Burning pain shot up her leg and she cried out, doubling over into the water. The saltwater was stinging against her cuts and it made her eyes mist.

The waves splashed around her as she tried to regain her senses. The dark fin had moved closer and now she could see its colors—a band of white around the bottom of it that slowly darkened to the oily black tip. She couldn't move, couldn't think, couldn't breathe—

Then the water moved and the fin shifted and something big and dark began raising from the water where it has just stood.

Levy threw all sense through the window and ran in the opposite direction, screaming bloody murder.

The thing was calling her.

"Small human!" the thing yelled after her. "Don't go!"

Hallucinations. She was having hallucinations. She'd cut herself and got poisoned, or she'd inhaled too much water—

Something dark filled her vision and before she could react, Levy collided with a rock. The force of the impact made her lose her ground, her fingers feeling for the growing swell on her head.

It took a moment for her system to catch up, for her senses to take in her surroundings. A moment too much, it seemed. The soft sloshing of water announced the thing's arrival.

Levy turned her head around to face it.

After the initial shock wore off, she saw it was… a person. A weird person with gray skin and what looked like gills and fins and— Breathe, she commanded herself and squared her shoulders. Then she lifted her head and stared right into it.

"Hello" she said, her voice as calm and even as her terrified state could keep it.

"Hello" the creature copied her, as if speaking a foreign language.

The thing was, for the lack of other words, big. The upper part of it resembled a person—that is, if people had scales and gills. From the waist under, it looked more than a shark than anything else. A big and long and strong and most likely able to kill shark.

"You're a mermaid" Levy blurted out.

She was surely having a hallucination. Mermaids weren't real—mermaids were the dream of a small, lonely little girl with no friends and no other way to entertain herself beside old fairytale books. Mermaids were children's animations. Mermaids were not real.

The thing stared at her, dark eyes shining from under a curtain of dark, wet hair. It tilted its head to the side. Small rivets dripped down the lines of its body. A drop fell from the tip of its nose.

Levy found herself unable to move, her back pressed to the rough stone as if it could provide some protection. Despite the fear that she was probably going to die, despite her instincts screaming for her to run, she was rooted to the place. Levy was fixated.

"Mermaid" the creature repeated, as if the word was foreign to it. It probably was. "I… I think so?"

"You think so?" Levy asked. Laughter bubbled in her chest—at the absurdity of the situation or at the confusion written all over the creature's face, she couldn't say. "You look like a mermaid."

"I look like a—" The thing blinked in confusion and then shook its head, sending water everywhere. Levy made a face at the sudden cold against her damp skin. It extended one of its limbs—its arm—to her. Its fingers were gripping the strap of her bag. "Yours?"

Her… her bag. The creature was chasing her because she dropped her bag. The creature wanted to give her back her bag. The creature had probably watched her while she collected her shells and didn't want all her work to go to waste.

Levy started laughing.

Her lungs ached with the force of her laughter, her stomach spasming. The thing did not attack or threaten her. It probably did not know how to deal with hysterical girls. Poor thing. Levy leaned against the rock and lifted her head to meet the creature's—the mermaid's eyes. She had lost her fear somewhere along its confused expression and its calm gaze. She wasn't afraid. Not anymore.

After slinging her bag over her shoulder, she offered the mermaid her hand.

"My name is Levy. It's—" she giggled, "it's my pleasure to meet you. Excuse my… initial reaction."

The mermaid stared at her hand. In the soft light of the setting sun, Levy had to admit it looked beautiful, like a drawing out of her old childhood books.

"You're supposed to shake it" she told it when it just stood there, the top half of it half submerged into the chilling water. "And then you say your name."

The mermaid nodded slowly, then lifted its hand from the water and wrapped it around hers. Levy expected it to be cold, like fish were—instead, she felt a gentle, reassuring heat against her skin, smooth scales brushing her palm. Its hand was larger than her own, with longer, stronger fingers with silvery webs between them and small calluses. She could hardly believe she had been afraid—no creature with such gentle hold and such kind eyes could be dangerous to her.

"Gajeel" the mermaid said slowly, shaking her hand as it spoke. "It's my plea— plea—"

"Pleasure?" Levy suggested.

"It's my pleasure to meet you." It seemed very proud of itself. "Levy. Sounds pretty."

Despite everything, Levy giggled again. She brushed the hair from her face and gave the mermaid her best smile.

"Thank you. So does yours." She slipped back into the water with a small "plop". "Thank you for bringing my bag."

It seemed to have some trouble putting its thoughts into words. Levy winced in sympathy. Human languages were different enough from each other—she couldn't imagine how much harder it would be for a non-human creature to change its whole way of speaking.

"Sorry. For scaring you" it said after a while.

Levy hummed and carefully headed back to where she'd been collecting her seashells. When she didn't hear any movement behind her, she lifted her head.

"Are you coming?"

With what she was sure was a relieved expression, the mermaid swam after her. Levy smiled to herself. She'd just made a new friend. A new magical friend.

7 years old her would be so happy if she knew.

[theherocomplex]

First Lines Meme!

I was tagged a while back -- so long ago, in fact, I don’t remember who tagged me -- to show off the first lines of the last twenty stories I wrote. Here we go! 

I tag (no pressure!): @aban-asaara, @thievinghippo, @servantofclio, @blondepomeranian, @ladyeglantine, @pearwaldorf, @dearophelia, @faejilly, @bettydice, @sacrificethemtothesquid, and @jadesabre301! 

This is a mishmash of fanfic and original fiction; I’ve made my best guesses about what was posted when, but who really knows? :P

Skandar's da warned him of selkies, of sirens, of the places where the tides went crooked and the cold-fanged harbored in winter, but never, not in twenty-five years, did his da warn of merrows. (From an untitled Mermay short story)

Entry One: Given I've made it something of a tradition to write "I'm tired" as the first sentence in any new journal -- I'm tired. So bloody tired. (An untitled When The Night Comes August POV fic)

“Ezra, really, it’s a bruise.” (Two Flames, When The Night Comes)

Today's visit to the Red Market was a roaring success; my purse is empty save for dust and a few gold shavings, but I still clink and rattle enough for four rich men. (Love Cannot Always Fly Without Resting, The Arcana)

It's a mercy, say the priestesses down in the temple caverns, to collect the exile tax in the dregs of winter. (From “The Price of Sanctuary”, a TVP short story that was a Patreon reward)

As the second-youngest of nineteen children, Besnaat vo Rayar learned early and well to manage his personal expectations, even though his mother was the Empress. (From an untitled TVP short story)

I couldn't remember the last time I had been flat on my back like this. (From Raine and Her Husbands’ Adventure, tentatively titled Hedge Witch)

It was a good morning, all things considered. (To Serve Your Disease, The Arcana)

It is well past midnight and the wicks have nearly dropped into the wax when someone knocks on Orsino's door. (A Lesson in Drowning, Dragon Age 2)

We are reluctant to leave our cottage these days, now winter's first frost glazes the shorn rosebushes in the yard each morning, but as today is Tuesday, I take up the heavy basket of dyed wool from its place by the door, and bid goodbye to my father and six sisters. (From “Ironskin”, a reinvisioning of Reynardine that’s still currently out on submission) 

Shannon woke up with her teeth buried in the meat of her hand. (Farewell the Green Gardens)

It's a thing in my family, the apple trees. (”Fruiting Bodies”, a Patreon reward short story that has a lot of potential, but needs to be expanded a bit more to really stick the landing)

Forester's Slack wasn't the dumbest colony name Chase ever heard, but it ranked in the top ten. (”Run Forty-Four”, a Patreon reward short story I want to rework into something a bit leaner) 

Your lover is a goddess, and she wears your right eye around her neck on a golden chain. This is not a metaphor. (From a TVP prequel novella)

Rising through honey-thick layers of sedation, Meghan barely had time to stretch and groan before a medtech rustled up beside her and peeled her left eye open. (From “The Squad Remade”, a Patreon reward short story)

Fenris returns to Kirkwall in as foul a mood as he can remember. (Pleasures Greater, Dragon Age 2)

Somewhere beyond the Anatomical Chapel, a child wept, endlessly. (From TVP) 

There are several things Xayah wants to say, but the amount of blood in her general vicinity — most of it not hers, which is something new — keeps anything except "You're an idiot" from coming out of her mouth. (The Right Question, League of Legends)

Erend learned the hard way Aloy is utterly incapable of not being stubborn. (Feriae, Horizon Zero Dawn)

You wait out a winter storm in yet another set of ruins, and while the world is buried in snow drifts half again as tall as you are, you manage to wake ARTEMIS from its long sleep. (You Left With Your Head Filled With Flames, Horizon Zero Dawn)

...holy cats, a thousand high-fives to you if you made it through all of that! <3

[mothraballs]

Sketchbooks From Over The Last Seven Years

I have a box of sketchbooks and random sketches that I’ve been adding to since I was about 12.  Today I went through it all and I decided I’d make a post about it because. idk. why not I guess? So obviously its not every page of every book but like if anyone wants to go through about 7 years of bad sketchbooks and loose sketches and doodles its under the cut. Some nudity

.Going through this sucked a little because like who in the world ever wants to go through their middle school art??? Its hard not to get rid of that stuff because like not only does it suck but it makes me remember middle school and things like anime club and like. ew. But it’s nice to see how much less I suck at this, even if i’m not nearly as talented as I’d like to be. It also makes me sad to think of art i’ve lost, even if it was bad. I don’t have pretty much anything that I did digitally from like age 13-16 because I either deleted it or lost it when a computer broke because i didnt back that up since I didnt think id care but l kinda wish I still had some of that stuff, just like to compare improvement over such a big time period.

 I wanted to find some of my actual finished art to post with this, but I couldn’t find it today, so it’s only sketchbook stuff (but I dont finish a lot of things anyway lol). Maybe I’ll make another post comparing old things I actually finished with new stuff once I can find it because I know it’s around here somewhere anyway heres sketchbooks!!

This is from 7th grade, so I guess I was 12. It’s god fucking awful, complete with drawings of memes (which I will spare u from), slenderman fan art, and a weird message about my middle school bike, which I still have in my garage, being stolen, which it never was. And the brakes do work.

 why

  This one is also from when I was 12, but it’s only about 1/4 of the way full. 

i think i had a mental brakedown here lmao

@douche-mccoosh​ ‘s sexy page

This one was either from 7th-8th grade or just in 8th grade. Idk. Either way I was probably 13 years old. Just a warning: Mlp fan art starts here

1 (ONE) wolf

idk what this is supposed to be honestly

long forgotten OC

This one was also from when I was 13

I had this from age 13-14, I started drawing digitally a LOT more around age 14, so I guess I wasnt rly using my sketchbook as much

this was like straight copied from a piece I saw at an art magnet school I applied to (obviously I didnt get in lmfao) and I really did not understand how dark I needed to make the paper in some spots. And then I never finished it

A pony OC... she was a robot ok

I think I had this one age 14-15. The paper ended up being translucent so I stopped using it early on. Im kinda glad I didn’t fill it up because that actually might be kinda useful to me now

Sweet notes from @lmkno​  

This one wasn’t in the picture on the top bc I found it later. I think I might also be missing like 1 other one too tbh but oh well lol I think I had it when I was 15? really stopped drawing like a lot around this time, I wasn’t doing digital stuff either cuz my computer was broken at the time

This is also about when I stopped throwing away every single thing i drew on a loose piece of paper, so here’s some random sketches from the general timeframe

First sketches of my OCs Vonn, the fish man and Elliot, the girl with pigtails

Some of my art I’ve sorted correlating to the OC’s and the universe they belong in or whatever so here’s some OC’s that sort of came about around that time, some of the pictures are from when I was older though

Ginger

the TV head robot guy was named Seven

the guy with the fuckin,, circle head and weird face is Wolfgang, I still draw him a lot today but ive changed how he looks a  l o t

I had this age 15-16, so like 2014-15. Maybe early 2016? There’s a lot of blank pages and scribbled out things. I 

Wolfgang again

fukkin,,,, gaye ass furry roleplay oc

Sketches on loose paper from the time I think??? I honestly cant tell when all of these are from but they’re gonna go here.

first design of an OC named Eryl

A random D20 character

Eryl

Early drawings of an OC named Lucy Lucy Lucy Lucy Lucy Lucy Lucy Lucy Lucy aka Lucy Ninetimes

Lucy & Wolfgang

And heres more stuff I had sorted by OCs/universe or whatever

main OCs here are Pidgenfinger, with the blue or possibly stylistic black hair, and Chrissy, shes like. A mouse or something

main OCs here are Roland and Ansel, they were like siamese twins and then one of them died at birth and now this guy just has a ghost twin idk it was stupid

Finally we’re at the point that my phone started recognizing faces in my sketchbook. I had this one age 17, i might have started it like right before I turned 17?

Lucy & Wolfgang

Vonn and Elliot on the right side of the page

Pidgenfingersa

Roland & Ansel

Dont Starve fanart on the right

Elliot on the right

Lucy on the bottom left

Vonn & Elliot on this page too

Lucy & Wolfgang, this is dumb but w/e

Von, Elliot, and another OC, Eryl. The lady with horns never got a name

Random Sketches

Lucy

Wolfgang

I got this sketchbook a few months after id turned 18 if i remember correctly 

Lucy, but decapitated

Lucy

Lucy again

Lucy yet again

Lucy!!!!!!!!!!

Wolfgang

(and Lucy)

I got this sketchbok as a gift from my wonderful boyfriend @the-lost-professor​ early january of this year, so technically when I was 18, I’m now 19

Eryl on bottom right

Stuff I did for mermay

some random sketches

My current sketchbok ft. Tsu This one was also a gift from my boyfriend ♥ I got it late June of this year

Wolfgang

Lucy

Wolfgang

Lucy

Wolfgang and Leah, and OC that i made a long ass time go and I dont have the original picture but I redrew her

Wolfgangs and Lucys

Eryl on the left

The last thing I did for mermay, which I technically finished after may ended

Lucy

and the most recent page! With Lucy and Wolfgang on the right

uhhhhhhhhh

im really fucking hungry now and im gonna go eat bye

[kyloripped]

Lazuli

Hey folks, I’ve had a fic rattling around on my phone for nearly a year so I thought it was finally time to post it! In honour of Mermay I have a written a small Mermaid!AU in which Hux is a grizzled sailor and Ren is a mermaid. As usual I thank @sugardaddyhux for sitting with my for hours in a coffee shop last year and helping me build the foundations of this idea. I’m nervous as I haven’t written a proper fic in a while but here goes! Here is a bit of the fic, the rest is on my Ao3. Enjoy <3

[Ao3 Link]

The ocean was boiling, rolling in anger. Any ship foolish enough to dare set sail soon felt the grizzly waves slap against their keep as the sea roared its discontent.

Armitage Hux was no fool, and yet he braved the unforgiving waves. No matter how black the sky became he would not tolerate trespassers on his land. And trespassers there were; somewhere in the mass of grey manifested the dark, unwanted outline of a ship.

Whalers or some other stubborn trawlers invaded his waters. The calm morning had been coveted by many ships, but most had the good sense to quit when they saw the dark hull of his ship stalk the waves to warn them away. Not this particular ship though, which had clung to the horizon line with some kind of irritating defiance.

The storm had caught both of them by surprise. What had begun as a trading of biting insults had been sucked away by the howling wind, had been dulled by the force of the waves shunting their keels from side to side. Hux had leaned against his stern and shouted at them to leave his waters, but the wind stole his words.

The wind now howled around them in salt bitten fury and the invading ship keeled to the side. Hux, a safer distance into the shallows, felt his breath sucked out of him as he saw the inevitable; an unseen rock smashed against the intruder’s hull. A ripping noise mixed with a crescendo of screams and the boat hovered uncertainly for a moment, suspended for one second of pure disbelief as it was silhouetted against the iron sky. Hux was clutching at the prow for dear life as he saw the water break over their stern.

There was nothing to do but watch; one moment there was a ship, the next there was great jagged hulks of debris floating against the waves. A discordant shout of, “Don’t let go of it-!” had cut through the roaring, but that could have been mere fancy. Hux clutched the damp wood as he felt the sea ready to suck his ship into its own watery maw.

But Hux was a sailor. A wind bitten, jaded thing, but a mere storm would not faze him. He leaned into the wind as he felt the boat shift, his eyes on alert for any rock or fast moving current that may rise up to thwart him. The pounding of the sea was a rhythm he loved almost as dearly as breathing. Trusting his old ship to guide him he started steering starboard towards the safe haven of the shoreline.

And then he saw it; the shape of a hand seemed to rise up out of the graveyard of scattered debris like a small beckoning flag; help. Help me. It hovered above water level before sinking, then rose up again to catch his attention.

The sight tormented him. To go back for what was quite possibly a dead body was madness, but the hand looked like it was moving. It tugged at Hux like a compass point, and before he knew it he was changing course.

When Hux had managed to heave the ship towards the shape the first thing he registered was the dark crisscross of a net floating in the water and dissecting it into squares. The next thing was that there was a man twisted in that net- a large shape pulled underwater by the cruel bonds encasing it. Hux could just see dark hair floating above the water level before it was sucked down again.

Mind in autopilot, he reached into the icy water to grab at the net. He nearly toppled overboard as it yanked away from him. Thinking it was the current, Hux just pulled harder until the rope began to rise towards him. When the face finally broke the waves Hux almost lost his grip.

The eyes were yellow. Bright and mistrustful, they narrowed as the dark lips split into a snarl. The bared teeth seemed all incisor as they glinted up at him in fury. Hux stared dumbfounded and unable to understand what exactly he was looking at.

But the creature, for creature it was, had its neck constructed by the net, the one free arm struggling to rip free from the bonds encasing the rest of him. The more he struggled the tighter the net closed in on his throat.

There also seemed to be blood billowing from a nauseating wound in the chest which made a cloud of red amongst the grey. It billowed and coalesced like ink spreading to stain everything it touched. Hux’s hands were red to the elbows as he leaned into the water.

Teeth gritted, Hux pulled at the cruel net ensnaring the creature. He knew without a doubt that it would die if he left it to be strangled in these turbulent waves. And even more, he knew that to let go now would mean losing the most important catch he may ever find in his career.

The rope cut into the blue tinged skin without mercy and there was another howl as the creature was brought above the water level. What a howl it was- it cut through mouth, then air and then bone. Struggling, Hux pulled and pulled and cursed the sea, the creature and himself for being so stupid to risk his life this way. Somehow the whole weight of the body thudded to the deck as it was hauled aboard. Face down and with dark hair spread on the salt-bitten wood, the creature did not move. Body sagging and bloodied tail motionless, the trauma of the net and turbulent sea seemed to have overcome it.

Tail. Hux gawped at the whole length of the man… no, the mermaid. He felt dizzy as the realisation came to him. The tail was an enormous, coiling mass of dark scales scratching against the decking. Bright red blood was seeping into the wood as if it were thirsty for a drink. The rest of the creature was thickly built and so huge with it that it made Hux feel hopelessly small. The broad back was crisscrossed with the pearlescent slashes of old wounds and the hands had unfurled to show sharp webbed fingers.

It needs to die, was Hux’s desperate, immediate thought. One wouldn’t haul a shark on board no matter how much that doleful black gaze cut through the heart to clutch at some kind of mercy. But this was no shark; the large dark lips were still open in a silent scream of pain even as the yellow eyes were shut. It had been a human scream that had come from that mouth. Feeling nauseous, Hux steered towards the shore.

Later on, Hux would never know how he managed to drag the creature across the sand and to his door. Some last vestige of adrenaline perhaps, or maybe he knew that it was the only way to save the creature. He pulled and heaved and a long red line was carved into the wet sand to be sucked back down by the time he reached the blue front door. The creature was still motionless, still succumbing to either injury or fatigue.

The body dragged another line of red grit on the spotless wooden floors as Hux heaved him towards his bathroom. The long, dark tail flopped hopelessly behind them, and Hux saw with a jolt that the tip of his marvellously long fin was torn to shreds. His legs tingled in some kind of hopeless empathy as they entered the bathroom.

Across the white tiles they went. The huge body thumped heavily to the floor as Hux let go, rolling his shoulders and grimacing at the ache there. He stretched out to turn on the taps over the bath. As the water fell into the tub he turned back to the creature.

Its eyes were open.

Hux barely had time to move before the creature darted forwards. There was a horrible discordant screech bouncing around the bathroom as it writhed in his direction. Hux gave a shout as he clutched the bathroom wall for safety. Jaws snapping, the beast accidentally slapped its long ruined tail against the side of the bath. The resulting groan of pain was low and long. Hux took the moment of weakness to leap over the figure and towards the door. Hearing it crash behind him, he stood in the corridor for a moment with chest heaving.

A mermaid. In his bathroom. A mermaid. His breaths began coming quicker then. Knowing that accepting the truth would most probably lead to meltdown, Hux locked the bathroom door with a shaking hand. He would think about this rationally and deal with when he had formulated a plan that did not involve him being bitten by those frightening teeth. His thoughts were accompanied by the crashes and shrieks coming from behind the locked door, but Hux was practised at ignoring unwanted things.

The next day was tense. There was the odd thump from the bathroom but otherwise the creature had seemed to slump into uneasy silence. When Hux was making himself some much needed breakfast, he wondered if the creature was hungry. The image of the flashing incisors lunging towards him killed any thought of going back into the bathroom however.

The house was eerily quiet. Hux sat on his doorstep in the afternoon to fix some fishhooks that had bent out of shape. As he absentmindedly twisted the metal he cut his thumb on the sharp barbed tip. The small bead of blood reminded him of the great slash in the creature’s chest and he all but recoiled.

When Hux's rumbling stomach prompted him to make a late lunch he threw some kippers into a pan and began frying them. He watched the fish sizzle in the butter, and his eyes were drawn to the little tails poking the sides of the pan. Did the mermaid eat fish? Hux couldn’t decide if that counted as cannibalism. But he must surely be hungry by now. He would never be approachable if Hux starved him out. Before he quite knew what he was doing, he was stood outside of his bathroom door with a plate of kippers. Feeling stupid, he pressed his ear pressed against wood and listened.

Nothing. But, no, that wasn’t quite right- there was a quiet splash coming from within. Gathering his courage, and more importantly the plate of fish, Hux turned the key.

Inside the bathroom was in utter disarray. His neatly folded towels were scattered on the floor, his bottles of shampoo and gel thrown under the sink. There was water everywhere. As Hux observed this horrifying sight, he saw that the yellow eyes were peeking up at him over the lip of the bath. Although the bath was comfortably large the creature was too big to fit in fully and his tail was flopped over the side like an enormous wet beanbag. But he had managed to dip under the water level. They regarded each other for a moment.

Hux was the first to move. Refusing to be intimidated, he walked in clipped footsteps towards the bath with the plate in hand. Stopping at the edge, he proffered it.

The yellow eyes looked up mistrustfully. Hux waited.

“Eat.” He said in a clear, slow voice.

There was one long blink at this. It took hux a few moments to realise that the creature may not understand him. He brought a hand up to his mouth and made an eating motion.

“For you. Eat.” He repeated, snapping his teeth.

There was a slight splash as the mermaid twitched at the noise. His ripped tail flicked more water into the floor. Hux sighed. This was hopeless.

He bent to leave the plate on the floor. As he walked back to the door he heard the sloshing of water which indicated that the creature had moved. He couldn’t resist turning, and when he did he saw the gleaming, blueish torso rise out of the water. The wound there was ghastly but bloodless now, and small beads of water stuck to the skin like small pearlescent beads. The yellow eyes blinked once at Hux as he retreated although he could not make out the expression sat there.

Safely outside, Hux clutched at his temples. His head hurt. He had to find some way of dealing with this creature….no. Ren. Hux’s face creased into a frown. How did he know that? His ear itched, or maybe it was some intangible place he couldn’t reach that did. He did not relish the sensation. He made his way back to his fishhooks, his mind echoing to unfamiliar word. Ren. Ren.

***

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