#my mother has NEVER sounded SO insulted in her ENTIRE LIFE

[kasagia]

His mortal saviour

Pairing: Aleksander Morozova/The Darkling x otkazat’sya!fem! reader Summary: You saved him. You took him from under the fold and healed him when he was in his most vulnerable state. He doesn't know you; he's hostile and distrustful of you, so he naturally runs away at the first possible opportunity. But somehow, he can't just walk away from you. Word Count: around 6k Anonymous requested this a looong time ago (in January). So sorry honey!!!! Hope you will enjoy! 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤 Taglist: @aoi-targaryen @il0vebeingdelulu @chelseyyouraverageluigi @watersquirtpewpewboomm @summersummoner-pat Aleksander Morozova's Masterlist ~•♤♤♤•~ Main Masterlist

He woke up feeling numb.

He had never felt so... paralysed in his entire life. It was as if the use of all his limbs had been taken away from him. And he didn't like that at all.

He expected him to be in the centre of the fold, with the volcra circling around him. However, as consciousness returned to him, he became more aware of his surroundings.

The first thing he felt was warmth. The warmth, which wasn't at all in the fold. He shuddered and remembered how the cold had penetrated his body even more the moment the volcra's claws had dug into his face.

Then he felt the softness of the mattress beneath his back instead of the hardness of the sandy, packed soil. Further evidence proving that he was entirely somewhere else was the sound of soft footsteps and humming a few feet away from him.

He opened his eyes hesitantly and hissed, unaccustomed to the light after being unconscious for so long.

He freezes as he feels a hand on his eyes, keeping the sunlight from reaching them. Little. Soft. Alina... a thought comes to him, and he quickly laughs it off. His little sun summoner would probably rather blind him completely with her sun than protect him from more pain.

"Take it easy. You've been badly harmed." A soft female voice breaks the silence and pulls him from his thoughts about the woman who betrayed him and their kind.

He feels a strange rush of fear as he hears a female voice. Aleksander unwillingly recalls the memory of the time when he and his mother were captured by the Drüskelle. He felt like he did now. Helpless.

He was unable to move even a small distance on his own. The only difference was that no one was hanging over him with scalpels and other blades or hurling insults. But he suspected that could change very quickly...

He had to do something. He needed to get out of here somehow, but every slight movement of his muscles was accompanied by a huge wave of searing pain throughout his whole body. And for a brief moment, it occurred to him that maybe destroying the fold wasn't such a bad idea.

"Don't worry. I am not a psychopath, mad, serial killer, or anything. I'm a nurse. I saw you near the fold and took you to my house to heal you. It's a miracle you survived your encounter with the volcra. Usually, no one gets out of the fold. Certainly not on their own." The woman says, slowly removing her hand from his eyes.

He's too dazed by the light, busy taking in his surroundings and seeing her face for the first time, to notice that she's adjusting the bandages on his face and checking his wounds.

But he hisses, feeling the burning pain on his forehead as she rubs some thick, gooey liquid onto him.

"I'm sorry, but I have to. It's an ointment against infection. This should also numb you enough so that you don't feel any pain in your face. How's your back?"

He is too shocked to respond. As he takes a breath, he has a sudden coughing fit. She moves away from him. He hears her quick footsteps as she returns a moment later with a cup of water and a tissue. He spits something black out of his mouth, desperately trying to get some air. She strokes his back gently and leans him more forward, making him spit out all the black goo mixed with his saliva from his throat.

He frowns, staring at the tissue soaked in black liquid.

"Don't worry, it's absolutely normal. Every time they bring a survivor from the fold to the infirmary, something like this happens. The air is different there, and volcra tend to infect their victims. Let's just say it's some kind of poison that comes out of you. That's a good sign. As well as the fact that you woke up. Here." The woman says, taking the tissue from him and throwing it into a nearby trash can. He glances there, seeing that it is half full of black dressings and bandages. He looks back at her as she hands him a glass of water.

"What do you want?" He asks, his voice hoarse from disuse (or screaming in the fold), not taking a sip from the cup you gave him. It could be poisoned or worse.

"I... I don't understand." You say, confused by his hostile attitude.

"What do you want from me?" He repeats it again, and the commanding, demanding tone of his voice sends shivers down your spine.

"Nothing. I'm just helping." You reply with a shrug, which annoys him even more. He laughs mockingly, making you frown.

"Selflessly? To a stranger? Don't make me look like a naive idiot. Tell me right now who you are, what you want, and where we are, and you won't get hurt."

"With all due respect, I doubt you'd be able to raise your hand right now, let alone hold a gun or sword, or hit me, even if you were a soldier of the First Army." He stares at you in surprise, realising that you have no idea who he is, and maybe you really just helped him.

Could a normal person dare to speak back to the Darkling with such courage and anger in her eyes? He didn't think so. But one name comes to his mind... even though he's too hurt to think about her.

"What?" You ask him as he stares at you for a little too long.

"Nothing." He clears his throat and stares warily at the offered water. "Not many people surprise me." He explains, still not believing in your good intentions. You couldn't be so altruistic as to help a strange man who got spat out by the fold. People weren't kind or helpful to the weak, at least never towards him. That's why he always had to be stronger than others. To never become prey again.

"I see that you don't trust many either. If I pour for myself and you water from one jug and drink it first, will you consider doing the same? You need to rehydrate." You say it calmly, completely unfazed by his distrust.

For some reason, this makes him more surly towards you. Maybe this whole act on your part was just to keep his guard down until someone came for him, for example, Shu, Drüskelle, or even Alina's group of heroes. He had to get away from here. As soon as he regained full control over his aching body.

“Try to deceive me, and I will make sure to wipe out your family lineage to the last living generation.” He growls hoarsely, trying to regain at least some semblance of control in this situation.

"It's good that I'm an orphan then." You say, pouring him and yourself a glass of water and showing him that both are empty.

Another orphan... he thinks as you reach both glasses so he can choose which one he wants.

"Who are you? Where are we?" He asks as he holds a glass in his hand.

You drink your water and set the glass on the nightstand near the bed. Aleksander decides to wait a while before taking a sip himself, to see if the water won't have a strange effect on you and if you haven't poisoned it after all. Although you could have practiced mithradism and been immune to whatever poison you wanted to give him. His head began to hurt more as he considered all the possibilities.

"Y/N Y/L/N. A nurse, as I mentioned earlier. We are in Eastern Ravka, on the border with the fold. More south of Tsemna and closer to the border with Shu Han. And you?"

He hesitates for a moment and doesn't know why, whether it's the headache or the fact that he doesn't want you to catch him in a lie, but he tells you his real name.

"Aleksander." He says, finally deciding to take a sip from his cup. He would always be able to use the cut if there was something wrong with the drink you gave him. You try your best not to smile at that.

"And what are you doing for life, if that's not a secret?" You ask jokingly, but he doesn't seem too eager to lighten his attitude.

He is still tense and looks around carefully, as if waiting for someone to attack him. Your heart hurts at the sight. Something must have happened in his past for him to be on guard all the time. And those scars from the fold... you suspect it wasn't just the volcra that were responsible for them.

"I... create things." He tells half the truth. After all, the fold, the volcra, and his shadows are some kind of... things he created.

"Are you a carpenter? Do you have your own workshop?"

Little Palace. He thinks, but he knows that after what happened in the fold, the tsar probably took this away from him as well.

He shudders to think about how he could have hurt his people. He had to get out of here. And fast. Before more, Grisha got hurt. Because if he knows something, he knows that Alina won't be able to protect them. He tried to walk the path of peace with Lantsov's dynasty, but it never ended well.

All he provided for Grisha—a safe place at the Little Palace, home, food, illusions of freedom thanks to the cessation of Grisha hunting, and much more—was bought with the blood of others. And if he had to be a monster to make sure his people wouldn't suffer like he did and many others have in the past, then so be it.

He would be the worst of them all.

"I have people who create for me and follow my orders and requests." He replies brusquely when you look at him carefully. You sigh, seeing that you won't be able to get through to him until he's sure you really don't have any bad intentions towards him.

"Okay… do you have any family I should write to? Or someone else?" You ask instead, apparently hitting another sore spot as his injured hand grips the cup so hard that the bandages you wrapped around it dig into his skin.

"No... there is no need for that." He says it coldly.

An image of his mother quickly comes to mind, as does the image of Alina, at which he shakes his head. The only two women with whom he allowed himself to be vulnerable and who could hurt him actually did. Without blinking an eye or a moment of hesitation. You probably were the same, and despite your quite tender care, he still wasn't sure if it was true or just an action.

Although if you were meant to capture him, you would at least tie him up so he couldn't summon his shadows. Maybe you really had no idea about his identity...

"I shall leave you to rest then. I have to go to my work." You say as you start to put on your coat.

"You will leave me alone?" He ask. He can't believe that you would really leave him—a strange man you didn't know at all—in your house all alone.

"Do you need a company?" You ask mockingly, using the exact same cold tone of voice he used before. Aleksander decides he liked you much more when you were soft towards him.

"Aren't you afraid I'll rob you and run away?"

"There are only herbs, medicines, and a few books here. I have nothing so valuable that I couldn't get it on the market if you decided to take it. You can look around if you want. Although I wouldn't advise you to get up, your wounds are still fresh and barely sealed, so they don't bleed."

"Are you insane?" He can't help but ask, as you really are going out. His words and utter shock make you giggle, which doesn't make his opinion of you any better.

"All the best people are. Try not to die. It would be a waste of medicines and bandages." You say this and smile amusedly as you close the door behind you.

Aleksander blinks, surprised, as he lays in your bed. He tries to understand what has happened here, but he still has a headache and needs to get out of here.

He didn't trust you at all.

So before anyone could come and get him from you, he stood up. His legs are shaky at the beginning, but as he walks around your (tiny) cottage, he regains the ability to walk… maybe not as well as he did, but enough to move.

He looks around, just as you suggested, but he didn't find any proff that would confirm his suspicion about your bad intentions towards him.. But it doesn't stop him from taking some pills and herbs before he leaves your house. He makes sure to take only a little—enough to get to the village or somewhere where he could find his people.

He decided that you were too kind to be robbed.

The healer who was trying to heal his wounds was surprised at how good their condition was. Virtually cured. However, black scars remained on him, marring his face. Just like the piece of amplifier in his hand.

But Aleksander didn't care at all. His scars were a good reminder that anyone can be made a fool of. And he didn't want to be fooled by the woman's beautiful eyes once again—even ones as beautiful as yours.

David offered to take it out for him, but he wasn't ready for it yet. The amplifier was his only connection to Alina, and he needed every means to locate her. At least, that's how he explained to himself his reluctance to remove the festering amplifier from his hand.

He did the same with you. He also told himself that the creation of a secret shelter for his Grishas in an abandoned manor in the forest a few miles from your little cabin was pure coincidence. Just like the way he had a habit of wandering around your neighbourhood and watching you from afar when he needed to think alone about his further plans.

The problem was that he couldn't plan anything. Nothing significant. Of course, he still freed his Grisha and kept them safe, but when it came to Ravka's fate... he was in a bind. He didn't know what to do.

And so one day, when he went for a walk away from Ivan, Fruzsi, and the rest who were bothering him, he 'accidentally' came across you.

It's happened quite often. At first, he sent Ivan to look at you; sometimes he followed you around himself, waiting in suspense to find out that you weren't an innocent nurse after all. That it was not by accident that you took him from under the fold and cured him. But he found nothing. You have no conspiracy against him, no cult that was killing Grisha, or even any connection to Alina's group. Nothing.

He didn't know what to think about that either. He would rather discover that you weren't so selfless and sensitive to others' harm. This way, you would save him some sleepless nights when he thought about you and the way you took care of him. No one has done this for a long time... or ever. To be honest, Aleksander didn't remember the last time that someone just... he looked after him out of pure kindness and concern FOR HIM.

Neither his mother nor Alina. One was too cold to even think about caring for the other, and the second was too afraid of him to even consider him as something more than just a monster craving power and the throne. He didn't think he'd had anyone since Luda who would simply take care of him out of the goodness of their hearts.

That's why he started to be fascinated and curious about you. A mere mortal. Otkazat’sya. You tended to avoid people despite your willingness to help (at which he was very surprised). In the village where you worked in the infirmary, everyone treated you warmly and kindly, just as you treated them. Even your worst patients. To which Aleksander would lose his tamper more than once.

Over time, he realised that what drew him to you was your warmth. He was starting to get jealous of the attention you gave others, even if you then went back to your cabin alone. He didn't know what caused this need to be near you. Maybe it was because he was tired of being alone in his icy darkness. Alina once was his sunlight. For a brief moment, he felt... normal. In peace. After everything went to hell. And then, he felt like this for a while under your tender touch.

He should have learned from his mistakes and forgotten about you, but... something wouldn't let him.

He was beginning to suspect that maybe he was just getting too old for all this.

"All alone in the forest? Do you know what monsters might be lurking here?" He asks, encountering you on one of his excursions to help him think. It was a pure impulse. He snuck up on you on the spur of the moment (or maybe because Alina tried to snatch the amplifier out of his hand a few hours ago and he needed someone to talk to as... just Aleksander. Not the Darkling.)

"For example?" You ask, turning to him and stopping picking herbs. You look pretty. Strands of hair fall into your eyes, and he almost reaches out to brush them off himself, but you do it before he can raise his hand.

He takes a look at you. Your coat is too thin for his taste. The snow had barely melted, and what you were wearing certainly didn't adequately protect you from the cold wind that was still blowing. He had to ask David to make you something similar to a kefta when he would be back.

"The Darkling." He says, feeling your burning, careful gaze on his face. You don't look at him with disgust or fear. No. He sees in your eyes a professional assessment of his health and a slight hint of curiosity... he wonders if maybe he's not the only one here who feels drawn to the other.

"I doubt he has enough free time to wander around the forest." He smiles at your words, amused that you have no idea that you are now talking with him.

He had never been happier that the news in these parts of Ravka... usually didn't reach here. People here identified more with Shu since they started mixing with each other a long time ago. Of course not Grisha. They could only count on themselves. Mostly...

"Oh, you'd be surprised what can happen, little saviour."

"Saviour?" You ask, raising your eyebrows at him. He sees the spark of amusement shining in your eyes, and he just can't help himself. He steps closer to you and reaches for the basket of herbs. He follows you as you select herbs and plants that you apparently find useful. Aleksander feels... normal and ordinary. And for a moment, he begins to understand why Alina would choose a simple life with her tracker rather than a privileged one as a Sun Summoner.

"I believe I owe a part of my life to you."

"Almost no one gets out of the fold. Thank the saints for your life, not me." You shrug off his feeble attempt at thanking you and turn to him. You study his face carefully, assessing the appearance of his scars. He feels himself starting to blush under your gaze.

"I don't believe in saints." He finally says, glad that he managed to drag your gaze away from his face as you look into his eyes this time, frowning in surprise.

"Why?"

"They were ordinary people. Most of them had no idea what they were doing. People hailed them as saints mainly because of rumours—stories whose confirmation could only be sought from the insane."

"So not only a carpenter, but also an expert in saints. You are a true mystery, Aleksander." You laugh at him and he smiles, thinking that you don't even know what an enigma he is.

"I'm just saying that most of them didn't do anything significant. Not for Grisha. And they were killed because they tried to show people that they shouldn't hunt us and that we are useful in some way. If anything, they tightened the chains of slavery on us."

"So you are a Grisha." He blushes slightly, embarrassed at how easily he let his secret be revealed. Yes. He was definitely too old for all this. "What kind of are you? Inferni? Durast?"

"Heartrender." He answers quickly and without thinking. "But it doesn't matter. Forgive me. I should go." He says, almost panicking as he turns away from you and rushes in the opposite direction. He wants to get away from you as quickly as possible before he unknowingly reveals his true identity to you.

"Wait a second. Aleksander!" However, you don't give up and chase after him, grabbing his hand—exactly the one that is rotting from the remains of the amplifier left in it. Aleksander hisses, wincing in pain. He pulls his hand out of your grip and tries to look anywhere but at you. "Your hand." You whisper hurriedly as you walk towards him. He takes a step back, trying as always to keep some distance from you when you made him feel... vulnerable.

"Not your concern." He growls at you, hoping you'll drop the idea of ​​examining his wound. Because how was he supposed to explain to you the stag bone stuck in his hand?

"Volcra poison can infect your blood. You should get it cured by your healers. And do it as quickly as possible; otherwise, it will lead you to a slow death; you will lose your senses; you will start hearing whispers, calls from the fold, and volcra."

"I'll be fine."

"Don't make me laugh; even the Darkling wouldn't be able to deal with that all alone. The Volcra may be the product of his ancestors, but this... this is a wild kind of little science. Unpredictable. I have seen hundreds who may have managed to get out of the crease but have gone mad because of their venom. These are not ordinary shadows. They are living creatures that attack just like any other animal. So please, if you don't trust me with this, go and show it to some talented healer, because you can't leave it like that."

"How do you know so much about this?" He asks curiously, putting his injured hand into the pocket of his kefta.

"Anyone who lives near the fold and is involved in healing knows this." You answer evasively, trying to avoid his further questions. This time you turn your back to him, pretending that you are interested in some plant.

"No, they not." He continues insistently, wanting at all costs to know the real reason you were here, why you had so much knowledge about the fold. He grabs your arm and turns you around so he can look at your face, as he is waiting for your answer.

"My sister was a healer. A Grisha." You blurt out in one breath and look away from him as painful memories come flooding back to you. Aleksander feels a pang in his heart when he sees the obvious pain in your eyes. A pain he himself had carried with him for centuries.

"Was?" He notes, swallowing.

"She is dead."

"The fold?" You nod at his question. He feels his throat dry, and he lets go of your arm as his hands tremble slightly. And Aleksander thinks that of all the lives that the fold has taken, your sister's life will be the one that will remain permanently in his memory. Especially that look filled with pain, bitterness, and grieving. "Then why did you stay here?"

"I moved here... to help to this who could somehow managed to get out of it." You reply as you calm down. Your tone of voice and posture may confuse Aleksander at first glance, but your eyes, your eyes tell him everything that you try to hide.

"It's... very nobel."

"Just please, don't leave it like that. You will certainly die if you will."

"You care about the stranger?" He asks in surprise, raising an eyebrow at you. You reach for your basket and take it from him before giving him your answer and looking him in the eyes again.

"I've already told you. It would be a waste of medicines and bandages if you die." You reply mischievously with a smile, and he chuckles. He can't help but reach up to your cheek and caress your cheek with his thumb as he gets lost in your eyes. No one had ever cared for him, so... simply. Without any major reasons. It was... extraordinary. You were extraordinary.

"It's... more complcated... but I shall listen to you." He assures you, noticing the way you nuzzle your cheek into his hand, not pulling away from him at all, not flinching at his sudden touch. His gaze involuntarily flits from your eyes to your mouth for a brief moment, and he imagines what it would be like to kiss you—to feel the softness of your lips against his. And Aleksander really wants to do it.

"I hope so... and that you won't get in trouble because of that grumpy old general of yours for being here." Alexander chuckles at your joke, amused by the absurdity of the situation. If you only knew...would you still let him stand so close to you? His mood suddenly worsens as he thinks about it. What would you do if you found out he was the Darkling? That he created the fold?

"Believe me, little savior, he can't do anything to me for coming to you." He replies and lowers his hand, breaking any contact with your soft, silky skin. Oh, how he wanted to know more of you—to touch more than your hands, cheeks, hair, or neck. But he couldn't. Not after so much disappointment, not after Alina, not after Luda. He should have known better.

So he freezes, completely shocked, when you grab his wrist and cup his cheek in your hand. Your basket of herbs is abandoned on the forest path as you brush your nose against his. Alexander holds his breath, waiting to see what you will do.

"May I?" You ask, whispering, trembling as you're unsure of his reaction to what you want to do.

All Aleksander can do is cross the last inches between you and capture your lips in a kiss. You sigh, tangling your fingers in his hair and pulling him closer. Aleksander wraps his arms around you tightly and takes two steps back, pressing you against the tree. You moan into his mouth as his beard tickles you into the kiss, which he uses to his advantage and slides his tongue into your mouth.

Aleksander allows himself to lose himself in the feeling of you, your taste, your smell, and the way your body feels under his wandering hands. And if he had previously suspected that he might be obsessed with you, now he has proved to himself how deep you have gotten under his skin. He was a fool for allowing you to have such power over him. But how sweet it was to be a fool, with your lips and hands pressed against him.

And the next day, when he comes to visit you, his hand is completely healed, without any amplifier. And his mind is completely free of Alina Starkov.

"That's nice." You whisper in the crook of his neck as you lie cuddled in the meadow under the full moon.

“Mhm…” Aleksander mumbles, burying his nose in your hair. He hugs you tighter, as if afraid that you might escape from his arms at any moment. "Although I'm beginning to wonder if you've brought me here to perform some witchy tricks. Maybe some sacrifice?"

"Your ass is too beautiful to sacrifice it." You reply teasingly, biting his neck. He gasps and digs his fingers harder into your hips. He leans down, moving your head away from his neck by pulling your hair so he can steal a kiss from your lips.

"Is it?" He whispers against your lips as he pulls away to let you catch your breath.

"Apparently." You reply, reaching up to caress the scars on his face with your fingertip. Aleksander closes his eyes and sighs, surrendering to your gentle touch. "I like your face too. The way you frown when you're irritated by something. The way you twist your ridiculously tempting lips into a smirk when you're right, even though it irritates me sometimes. The way your eyes sparkle when you talk about how you help Grisha. The way you look at me, as if I were your whole world. The way you wrap your hands around me or take my hand in yours to make sure I'm close to you, that I'm under your protection, and that I'm not going anywhere. The way you are grumpy when you are sleepy and how you don't want to admit that you are tired. I... I think I fell in love with you, Aleksander."

Aleksander smiles, caressing your cheek tenderly. He leans down and captures your lips in a tender kiss, trying to shake away the guilt that has been haunting him for several months now.

Ever since your relationship... became more serious, Aleksander has been trying to find the perfect way to tell you about his true identity. But every time he thought the moment was good, he lost his courage. He didn't even want to think about what your reaction might be to him being the Darkling who created the fold. He was absolutely convinced that you would hate him as soon as the truth came to light and that you would blame him for your sister's death. And honestly? Aleksander would not even try to defend himself. He knew damn well that he didn't deserve your affection and love. However, he couldn't help but come back to you, basking in the feeling that he had been denied for a very long time.

You end the kiss and bury your face in the crook of his neck. Aleksander shivers as he feels you exhale warm air onto his cold skin. He tightens his grip on you and presses a kiss to the top of your head.

"I love you too, milaya." He mumbles, running a hand through your hair. He plays with the strands of your hair, twirling them around his finger.

He feels unexpectedly pleasant around you. Homely. Ordinary. These were feelings that Aleksander had rarely, if ever, experienced over the course of hundreds of years. He found himself longing for moments where he could slip away to your little cottage and sink into the warmth of your arms, listen to your gentle heartbeat, and bask in your scent. This was a huge hindrance to his plans to get another amplifier and guarantee a better future for his Grisha.

"They say they've seen a Darkling in these parts. That he's gathering an army to start a civil war." Aleksander frowns, feeling his heart speed up slightly in panic.

"That's what they say?"

"Yhm... What do you think about it? Will you join him? Or will you try to escape and join Sankta Alina?" He unconsciously tightens his grip on you as you ask him this question and mention Alina. He buries his nose in your hair, inhaling your scent and trying to calm himself down before answering your question.

"I will stay. I think he wants a better future for us than Alina plans to guarantee."

"Maybe for Grisha. But still, I don't like wars."

"Me too, lapushka. But sometimes there is no other solution to change something than to start a war and take the power." He admits with a sigh and traces patterns on your arm, calming down as he feels the softness of your skin under the pads of his hard fingers.

Aleksander suddenly becomes more alert, subconsciously sensing the approaching threat. He doesn't want to outgrow you, thinking that maybe it's his paranoia kicking in, so he sits down, still holding you in his arms, as he looks around at his surroundings. He holds his breath as he sees movement in the bushes across from you.

Before he can do anything, a group of Shu surrounds you. One of them has a shotgun aimed at you. Aleksander acts instinctively. He wraps one arm around you, summoning his shadows. Before anyone can hurt you, he uses a cut and sends his shadows to remove the threat. The metallic smell of blood fills the clearing. Aleksander breathes quickly, his veins pumping with adrenaline as he looks around carefully. He feels blood seeping from where the bullet hit him, piercing his plain coat. He hisses, turning his attention to you. He breathes a sigh of relief when he sees no signs of hurt on you, but freezes in fear as soon as he sees your terrified look.

"Y/N... I can explain."

"You are hurt. Let's go back to my cottage, I'll stitch you up." You interrupt him, examining his wound.

You take his hand and lead him through the forest towards your house. Aleksander stares at the back of your head in shock, tightening his grip on your hand, wanting to make sure you don't suddenly run away from him and that you don't decide to abandon him in the middle of the forest to save yourself from him.

You open the door and wordlessly point to the bed. He takes your hint and sits down, taking off his coat and shirt. Involuntarily, he remembers the first time he came here and woke up in your bed. He swallows hard, hoping this won't be the last time you treat his wounds. Or when you're close to him.

"This may sting." You tell him, sitting down next to him. You squirt a cotton ball with antiseptic into his wound. He hissed, biting his lip, completely unprepared for this as he was still lost in his thoughts.

"Y/N… I… I wanted to tell you. I swear. I just… I didn't want to ruin… you know what I mean, right?" He asks, staring intently at you. You make no move to look him in the eyes, pretending to devote all your attention to his wound. Aleksander cups both of your cheeks in his hands and forces you to look at him as he gives you a pleading look. "Please. Say something. Anything."

"I… I didn't expect this. Because why would the Darkling be hurt by something he created and why would he return to my cottage?"

"Because you fascinated me. Deeply. You... you were the first person to see me as something other than a Darkling. Alexander. The real me, not the version of myself I had to create for my Grishas. I... besides, I didn't hide my thought from you. You... you were one of the truly few people I let under my mask who could see my heart. And I swear I was going to tell you, I... I was just afraid that I would lose you the moment you found out who I really was. What can I do."

"Oh, Aleksander. You stupid man. Am I running away screaming? Am I calling you a monster? Am I treating you differently?" You ask, placing your hand on his bearded cheek and using your thumb to stroke it tenderly, making sure you give his scars the tender care they deserve.

"No." He responds, carefully analyzing and comparing your behavior before today's fatal accident.

"Because I don't see you any other way. Yes, at first I was shocked and a little scared, but that was because I didn't expect it at all. You… volcra it's not your fault. Even if you created it. You didn't know what would happen." Aleksander feels a lump in his throat.

How can he tell you that he planned to make it bigger? That before he met you he would have done it without blinking an eye, but now he has such serious doubts that he is actually considering deviating from his original plan for you?

"I'm not as good a person as you think."

"Then show me." You answer casually, as if it were that simple. You finish patching up his wound and press a kiss on it.

Aleksander smiles at you tenderly and pulls you in for a passionate kiss. His heart is racing as he realises that he hasn't actually lost you, that you're still here and want to be here, judging by the way you moan into his mouth.

He holds you tightly and lays down on your bed with you straddling him as you place small kisses along his neck and across the width of his muscled chest. He smiles, realising how far he's come with you. He never would have guessed when he woke up in this bed that he would let you get this close to him. But with each little kiss you gave, the gentle, tender way your hands moved over his body, and the way you caressed each of his wounds and scars, Aleksander thanked the saints for putting you in his path. And unknowingly to him, you truly were his little saviour, saving him from a much worse fate than he could ever imagine.

[coupleoffanfics]

Future Child

Okay, Batsis reader. Right? On board? This is around the time when y/n has given up the nightlife and hasn't detached herself from the family.

I'm gonna go off the wall and say what if the family was visited by y/n's child from the future? I know it sounds crazy, but please listen. The family could run a DNA test or the child could walk up to Bruce in broad daylight and whisper, "Hello, flying rodent".

They won't reveal their name, so they're just called V.

During their time there Dick would be so tempted to ask about the future. Maybe not things specifically about his life because he knows they can't answer questions like that. But he'll ask just stupid questions like do cats have jetpacks or something? He'd also try to get to know his nephew. What they like, personality, etc.

Tim and Bruce would be poking at them on how they got here. Though Bruce probably had to take a moment to crack a smile for a split second. He was going to be a grandpa one day and the thought made him tear up. It's just happy news all around for him but he wouldn't dare show it.

Damian would be observing them closely and taking note of their outfit which looked to be something a hero would wear. Making him wonder what kinda of hero they were and if they were any good at fighting. Both Jason and Barbara just stood back from the situation. Babs is still in a bit of shock but is happy to hear that y/n was able to gain the domestic lifestyle she wanted.

y/n's child gives them a gist of how ended up here without giving names. Dick would notice V glancing around the cave and offer to give them a tour. They except of course. He takes note of how V doesn't seem into small talk but asks a lot of questions. The whole family picks up on how X asks a lot of questions about y/n. Their mother. It's odd and a bit worrying to Bruce, but the others just think that y/n didn't talk too much about her time as Batgirl.

Everything is relatively calm until y/n walks into the Batcave for her laptop. V's calm, almost stoic mood is dropped. Tim and Bruce see how V almost took a step forward, but reluctantly stood still. How V started rapidly blinking their eyes and struggling to look at y/n.

Dick would probably zoom up to y/n with a big smile, "Hey, Mama bird, did you get the diapers?" And y/n just gives him a confused, maybe even sacred look.

Everything is going fine. The family is working together on getting them to their time. Cool, yeah, whatever.

But what if there's just something that triggers V. It could be something that was said or asked that leads V and y/n to argue. It's not even arguing. It's just V spilling out grievances about their father and kind of insulting y/n.

"I can't believe you'd still defend him even before you met him. How rich."…"You didn't plan me, but Dad did and you were somehow okay with it? I was only there to keep you down, but what about the other two? Did you love them more because Dad didn't plan them?"…"Dad may have cared about you, but not us. You weren't a monster like him, but letting him get away with so much makes you just as guilty."…"You're both broken people. Maybe you two are meant to be."

V storms off and y/n retreats to her room. Everyone is dumbstruck by this sudden revolution.

Eventually, V does apologize to y/n. When she awkwardly accepts, they get misty-eyed because they really didn't mean to say any of that. They know how she doesn't take the apology, not entirely, and they feel like shit. They do care about their mom, despite all that they said.

When it's almost time for V to return back to the future they pull the whole family aside. Excluding y/n so she won't hear what they're going to say.

"As you guessed my Dad wasn't the best. Mom never talked about any of you and with Dad being a villain I could understand why. He's not a good person in general. Mom deserved better, so this time around try doing a better job. Don't let her slip away or be taken away. If I'm born then you know you failed."

This resonates with the family and brings up questions that won't be answered anytime soon. I could see this leading the family to become yandere or overprotective. Either one is fine because their efforts are futile.

If going down the Yandere route then I could see them becoming so overbearing that y/n runs from them. They control her life. Who she talks to, where she goes, what she does. She can't live like this and she runs away when given the chance.

If going down the protective route then it's slightly better than the Yandere one. At least in terms of their relationship. They pay extra attention to her and check up on her regularly until one day she just disappears.

In each route, They'd keep a close eye on any guy that has similar physical features (ex: hair, eyes). Since V has stated they look more like their father. When she does go missing they'll search high and low for her, but there isn't anything that would locate where she is. Her disappearance keeps them up at night for many years until a vaguely familiar person visits the manor.

They awkwardly introduce themself, "Hi, my name is..."

They failed.

If anyone wants to write about this idea then go ahead. Doesn't even have to be the Batfamily. I won't write about it unless asked. I'm just not married to the idea. It almost 2 in the morning I need sleep.

[feyhunter78]

But Darling (I'd Still Die For You)

Description: You has arrive at Storm's End in place of Lucerys. While attempting to secure an alliance, you run into Aemond, and your reunion becomes a Greek Tragedy.

You glare at him from across the room, trying to hide your relief at seeing him unharmed behind your anger. He’s dressed in his riding leathers and that black overcoat, you always thought he looked particularly handsome in. Somehow, he still looks put together, but you’re a mess. Damp hair, wind chapped skin, and your cloak torn from a close call with a guard. His eyes devour you the way a starving man devours a feast, and you shiver, hoping you can blame it on the cold.

 Lord Baratheon watches the scene and beckons Aemond forward before turning back to you.

“Prince Aemond has betrothed himself to my daughter in exchange for my loyalty, what does your queen intend to offer me?”

All of Rhaenyra’s sons were either betrothed or too young. “Me,” you say. Ignoring Aemond’s gaze on you. “I will marry you and give you a son.”

Lord Baratheon leans back in his throne. “A tempting proposal. Give me a moment to weigh my options.”

“Of course, my lord.” You bow your head and head towards the doors, intending to go and hide underneath Ziras’ wings until Lord Baratheon makes his decision.

The rain batters you, but you pay it no mind, searching the sky for your dragon. The heavy doors swing shut behind you, and you’re halfway across the courtyard when a hand grabs your wrist.

“You are already married, y/n.” Aemond hisses, spinning you to face him.

“So are you, Aemond, and yet you betroth yourself to a Baratheon girl.” You shoot back, shaking his hand off you.

He grabs your chin, forcing your eyes to meet his. “You know I would never betray our vows. I would say the words, shut the doors, and she would be dead before dawn.”

“Will you fuck her first? I’m sure all of King’s Landing will be waiting outside the door for the bedding ceremony.” Your words are meant to come out venomous, but instead they sound pained.

Aemond’s free hand wraps around your hip and pulls you to him. “No one knows what she sounds like, I will stuff her corpse in a wardrobe and take you instead. Let the whole of the court know how well I bed you.”

Heat pools in your stomach, but you bit the inside of your cheek, the metallic blood taste reminding you why you’re here. “I will not have innocent blood on my hands because you were too much of a coward to marry me properly.”

“I married you in the ways of my house, and before the eyes of The Seven.”

“Your mother still does not know! She sent you here to make an alliance through marriage.” You protest, tears stinging your eyes.

Ziras circles above you, and you rip yourself from Aemond’s grip.

“I will tell her. I will tell the entirety of the continent after I dispose of the Baratheon girl, just do not marry her father.” He pleads, his hand brushing your arm as you step away from him.

You wonder if this is how Queen Alicent felt, marrying a man old enough to be her father for the good of those she loved. Having to stand in front of Rhaenyra and bear the brunt of her rage, knowing she would never understand her reasons. “How can you ask that of me?”

Aemond runs a hand through his hair angrily. “How can you think of wedding another man? Would you kill him as well?”

You throw your hands in the air and laugh, the sound watery. “Then one of his daughters would take his throne and neither of us would get his army. I do not wish to be married to anyone but you, but I would also rather an army go to Rhaenyra than Aegon.”

His voice turns cold. “You would rather follow a traitor than your own good-brother.”

“I am a loyal subject of the crown; I have always been.”

“Then why will you not return with me? Why do you insist on running?” His hands are shaking, and you longs to comfort him.

“Why will you not come with me? Do you not love me more than Aegon? The brother who has insulted and belittled you, your entire life. The drunken lecher who does not even wish for the throne.” Tears fill your eyes, and you blink them away, reaching a hand out to him.

He takes your hand, covering it with his much larger ones. “I love you more than life itself, but that does not change my duty. Duty must come before love. Rhaenyra cannot sit on the throne.”

You laugh again, the sound broken and hollow. “Is it because she is a woman, or because her sons are bastards?”

 “A woman does not belong on the throne; it has never been done before.” His hands still shake.

You wipe at your eyes furiously. “So, if I said that it should be you, who is king. If I asked you to kill Aegon, to kill Rhaenyra so that you and I could rule together, would you do it?” You stepped closer, wrapping your arms around his neck. “Would take the Iron Throne and make me your queen?”

Aemond cupped your face, his silver hair plastered to his skin by the rain. “Do you wish that of me? Would you betray your queen to rule by my side?”

You close your eyes, tears mixing with the rain. “Aemond, I love you.”

He rests his forehead against yours, “and I love you, so if you wish to be queen, I will make you queen.”

Your voice broke. “I do not wish to be queen if the throne is covered in blood.”

Aemond sighs and takes a step backwards. “There are only two options, dear wife. You refuse to marry Lord Baratheon and return home with me. Or I kill my two eldest siblings and hope the smallfolk love you enough to ignore the fact that I will be both kin and kingslayer.”

You bury your face in your hands. “Those are not options, Aemond, those are impossible choices.”

“We are in an impossible situation.”

Ziras lands behind you, and you turn towards your dragon, seeking the comfort of his emerald eyes. “I will not be responsible for bloodshed, not in this way.”

Vhagar touches down above you both, her roar shaking the ground.

“Take one more step and Vhagar will attack.” Aemond’s voice is deadly calm.

You turn on your heel. “You would kill me, my love?”

“I would kill your dragon.”

You freeze, staring at him, every bit of warmth inside you freezing with you until there’s nothing left but ice and rage. “You would threaten my dragon. My Ziras?” You took a step towards him. “You nearly became a kinslayer for your dragon, and I nearly died, for mine. How dare you?”

Ziras roared behind you, his eye narrowing, smoke billowing from his nostrils.

“I do not wish to tear him from you, I only wish to make you aware of the consequences.”

You could strangle him with your bare hands for the arrogance that radiated from his words.

“Harm my dragon and I will kill you before Vhagar can turn her ancient head towards you.” You seethed, reaching for the dagger at your side.

Aemond’s eye, always quicker than any movement of yours, saw the twitch of your hand. He had his own dagger out before you could close your fingers around the handle of your own. “Do not test me, wife.”

You circled each other, daggers in hand, eyes watching each other’s moves.

“I would never husband, I know better than tha—” Your words were cut off by a sudden impact and surprise flashed across your face. You dropped your dagger, your hand going to the arrow in your chest. Ziras let out a sound that could only be described as a scream, and he darted in the direction the arrow came from.

Aemond’s dagger clattered to the stone, and he lunged forward, catching you as you fell.

“Aemond.” You said, your hand bloody when it came away from the wound. Your eyes were wide, panic clear in your voice.

“Y/N, oh gods, Y/N.” He breathed, carefully snapping the arrow, so he could inspect the wound. The arrow had pierced your heart. He gently lowered you both to the ground and pulled you into his arms, his hair falling forward and hiding your faces.

“It hurts.” You whimpered, tears running down your cheeks.

“My heart, please, don’t leave me.” His words tumbled from his lips as he held you closer, resting his forehead against her.

You felt the warmth of his tears on your face and reached up to run your fingertips against his scar. “Let me see you husband. I want your true face to be the last thing I see.”

Aemond pulled off his eyepatch and you smiled weakly. “There he is, my love.”

“Y/N, please. I will side with Rhaenyra. Or I will fly us to somewhere far away, no one will know our names, we can start over. No blood will be shed, just please, stay with me.” He begged; voice thick with tears.

You reached for his hand, and he intertwined your fingers. “I want to, I want to stay, Aemond I’m scared.” Your eyes found his. “I do not wish to be parted from you.”

Aemond shook his head, “you will not be, Ñuha dōna, you will not be parted from me.”

You gave a weak laugh, “I’m dying, and you still live, we will parted.” You felt him press something cold into your hand, then his hand settled around the arrow in your chest.

“Do you love me?” He asked, an intensity You’d only seen once before in his eyes.

“Of course, Aemond you will never be unloved by me.” You said, lip trembling, when he positioned your hand over his heart.

“I wish to die by your hand, let me follow you to the Stranger.”

A sob fell from your lips when he yanked the arrow out. “Aemond, you do not need to follow me, I will wait for you.”

He placed his hand over yours. “Now, sweet wife, be swift.”

Tears blurred your vision, but you pushed the dagger into his heart. Realization settling in your mind. He was yours, your soulmate. You could feel the life leaving you, and you kissed him gently, your tears mingling together the same way your blood had all those years ago. “You were mine.” You whispered, before the darkness took you and you went limp.

Aemond held you, his lips still pressed to yours, savoring the last of your warmth. He knew what you meant; he’d known you were his soulmate since the moment you met. True, he did not have confirmation until your last words, but he did not need fate to tell him who his heart belonged to.

He pulled his dagger out and used his last remaining strength to pull you fully into his embrace as he laid back upon the ground. Your face, finally able to soften after moons of war, was the last sight he was blessed with before he joined you in the Stranger’s arms.

[theghostnugget]

My YYH AU is as follows:

Literally the only change is that Hiei and Yukina meet as children. Hiei gets the Jagan, finds the floating ice island, and instead of finding Yukina happily playing with some animals, he sees her getting lectured by an older ice maiden who is telling her that her emotions are shameful and she’s just like her whore mother. Hiei descends from the trees to stand between his sister and the emotionless shell calling her horrible names. He insults her back and threatens to set her on fire if she doesn’t apologize to his sister. The ice maiden flees to sound the alarm, but Yukina grabs Hiei’s hand and begs him to take her somewhere free. So, like the doting big brother he is, Hiei takes her to the most free place he knows - the woods (where Yukina promptly begins playing with the forest animals). They chat and bond, and when Hiei tells her he’s leaving she begs to go with him. And once again, like the doting brother he is, he obliges. Suddenly, through his lonely crimeful traipsing through the Demon World, his precious sister is tagging along.

As they grow up, they become nearly unrecognizable compared to the Hiei and Yukina we know. They’re similar in the most important ways – Hiei is still a violent criminal and Yukina is still a soft-hearted sweetheart, but they balance out the damage in each other.

Hiei’s biggest flaw (when you boil down the rage, violence, and criminal behavior) is two-fold. The first fold is poor modelling – His role-model (which he actually admits is the closest thing he had to a father) was a thief who was perfectly happy to murder a baby until he found out that the baby had something valuable. Violence, murder, and insults are the only tools that Hiei was given to interact with the world. The second fold? Hiei was never loved unconditionally – and in fact has never been loved at all. He was allowed to continue existing if he was useful enough, but no living person has ever treated Hiei with care or affection. EVER. This leads to someone who is violently and fiercely determined to be viewed as strong. Because that’s literally the only redeeming quality he thinks he has.

Yukina has been treated like a burden her entire life. Her father doesn’t know she exists, her mother killed herself when Yukina was young (kind of implying that Yukina wasn’t worth living for), and her entire community treats her like a freak. She’s an orphan, raised (at best) by her mother’s ex-best friend who’s crippled with guilt. Every Ice Maiden in the village is afraid she’ll turn out just like her mother (who’s crime, as far as we know, is being curious about other cultures – which Yukina is – and having an open heart – which Yukina does… Also sex, but that’s not conducive to my point). I’d be shocked if she didn’t develop some kind of complex about “proper behavior”. The Yukina we see in the show is polite and demure and easy to deal with – She’s even kind, forgiving, and unobtrusive about the fact that she was kidnapped and tortured ruthlessly for years. She’s helpful and sweet every single second that she’s on screen, because she feels like that’s the only way she can be accepted. She also has never been loved unconditionally. No living person has ever treated her with care or affection unless she buried her feelings deep down and behaved like an ice maiden should. And even then, the affection she received wasn’t really affection so much as her elders reluctantly acknowledging her self-control.

Then they meet and everything changes. Suddenly, Yukina’s “emotional outbursts” become something her brother loves about her. She gets angry, snapping as someone loudly and in public, but before that shame can even sink in, Hiei is laughing. If she can’t hold back her tears, Hiei nervously wraps his arms around her in the best approximation of a hug he can give. And Hiei’s “signs of weakness” become something he can connect to his sister with. He wakes from a nightmare, gasping in fear, and instead of being beaten for waking everyone up he receives a hug and reassurance. When he feels like a failure after losing a fight, his sister is there to comfort him.

 A Hiei with the love of his sister isn’t as volatile as the Hiei we see. When someone insults or threatens him, he’s not defensive. Because sure, maybe he’s never played rock-paper-scissors, but his sister loves him exactly the way he is so fuck you. A Yukina with the love of her brother is much more wild than the Yukina we see. She’s not afraid to react with fierceness or anger or tears, because she knows her brother will do anything he can to rectify the situation – and he would never judge her for her feelings.

They meet Team Urameshi because Yukina is curious about the human world and Hiei takes her there because he’s powerless in the face of his sister saying “Please”.

Listen, all I want is for Hiei to know he is safe and loved (which Yukina would constantly remind him of) and for Yukina to know that she’s so valid and unbelievably loved (which Hiei would never let her forget). Please.

[witchhazelevesque]

There's a lot wrong with c*leo but one thing that just doesn't make any sense and that I haven't seen addressed before is the way that Leo believed that being with Calypso was his destiny.

So, the way Calypso's immortality is portrayed after HoO is inconsistent at best. There was never any indication in the text that her life force was tied to Ogygia, but then she's suddenly mortal in ToA. She's lost the ability to do magic, but then starts to get it back somehow. She's supposedly no longer a titan but unlike Lester, who has also lost his immortality, she retains all her memories of her thousands of years. As I've seen some people discuss before, making her mortal is just an attempt to put her and Leo on more equal footing.

It's like how Emmie was an immortal, from Apollo's power, before she joined the Hunters of Artemis, but then when she left, she had to give up her immortality? Now, she did this so she could grow old with Jo, but if that wasn't the case, it read like she would still have been turned mortal either way. Like her immortality was payment to Artemis for her patronage. From what I remember that isn't the case, but it played out like this.

At the end of Blood of Olympus, Leo is the one that brings up that Calypso might not be an immortal anymore when she leaves Ogygia, but he had no reason to think this based on what is in the text. It feels especially strange considering that Leo, out of all the seven, has always been the least versed at matters like magic and immortality and how they operate. They are not things that make sense to him, as he says multiple times, like when he's trying to understand how the Athena Parthenos works. There is no basis for this change in her immortality, no foreshadowing, no anything. In ToA, we are given scenes where Calypso reminisces about her life before she was imprisoned on Ogygia, where she was an immortal. Her curse is that heroes come to her island and then they always leave. It is not that she and the island are intrinsically linked in any way that means she fades or changes without it. Again, this feels like RR's way to mitigate the fact that Calypso is literally thousands of years old.

The text of the books actually does the opposite of set up this shift, especially in Leo's mind. Throughout HoH and BoO, Leo refers to her as an immortal: "Leo wished he could sound as confident as Calypso. Then he remembered that this annoying fifteen-year-old girl was actually the immortal daughter of a Titan"; "Even among the Hephaestus campers, Leo had never worked with anyone as intuitive as this immortal gardener girl". "That didn't just happen, he told himself. I can't be in love with an immortal girl. She definitely can't be in love with me. Not possible."; "Just Leo's luck. A super- hot immortal girl was waiting for him on Ogygia, but he couldn't figure out how to wire a stupid chunk of rock into the three-thousand-year-old navigation device."

And no point until the final scene of BoO does Leo think that she will no longer be an immortal after she leaves Ogygia.

RR also includes the word 'girl' with each of these uses of the word 'immortal', as if to cancel out the fact that she is, again, millennia older than Leo.

(Leo even refers to her as a woman at one point, which she is.)

Despite where you stand on the whole, 'oh, she's mentally a teenager' thing (I think I've made my own stance on this clear but that's not the point of this post), it's so ingrained in the text of the entire last two books (the only ones where she's relevant) and only referenced at the very end that it might change, that Calypso is an immortal.

And the entire premise of this series is based on the fact that immortals do not stay with mortals.

Leo is a demigod. He grew up with his single, human mother who only ever mentioned his father in his capacity as Leo's father. When he finally meets Hephaestus, Leo insults him, calls him out for not claiming him when he was supposed to, for never caring, and for letting Esperanza die. For not being present. For letting Leo's entire life take the route it did.

The only wisdom he gets from Hephaestus is that nothing lasts.

Leo's hope of an entire future with Calypso can be seen as him desperately wanting to rebel against this idea, or to embrace the idea of reusing what doesn't last for something else. He does both of these things with rebuilding Festus at the cost of the Argo II. If you want to get metaphorical about this, then it's him trading his home and his crew for a way back to Ogygia. He wants a place to belong and someone to love him fully. Leo has struggled with loneliness and feeling out of place his entire life; it makes sense that he wants this.

But he's also seen first-hand the way that immortals are fickle and move on easily, how they can't get involved with mortal affairs. There's a whole camp full of other children to attest to that fact. The way gossip is portrayed in the series makes it clear that he must know about all the drama from the original series. He must know at least some part, if not everything, of what Piper and Jason's mortal parents went through because their immortal partners did not stay. His own life was so deeply influenced by this fact.

It could be argued that he's letting go of the past, or that he's taking a leap of faith, but the thought that things might not work out with Calypso never even crosses his mind. This isn't a recognition and acceptance of a risk that Leo knows because it has shaped the course of his life. This is an entire erasure of a major conflict in both the books as a whole, Leo's life and the lives of his loved ones. It just feels like setting Leo up to be devastated when Calypso inevitably behaves the way an immortal behaves.

TLDR: Leo knows full well that immortals don't stay in romantic relationships with mortals, but for some reason he's written to plan his entire future around a romantic relationship with an immortal.

[deathlessathanasia]

And here I was, thinking that Stone Blind was a terrible Medusa retelling... apparently I did not know what it means for a Medusa retelling to be truly, genuinely, undeniably terrible until now. Consider the following concepts:

- The most important and the one constant detail in every variant of Medusa's story, her beheading by Perseus, is a lie actually. In fact, basically all you think you know about Medusa is untrue, including her parentage. Poseidon raping Medusa and Athena punishing her are true, however.

- Athena is "insane" and "a psycho bitch" (the words of the characters, not mine) and gods like Hermes and Aphrodite and Hades and, hell, most of them, seem unable to talk about her without throwing an insult her way. It is like this book's author has projected the image of her middle school bully onto this goddess and is determined to take revenge. I have never seen such a demonized and flanderized version of Athena in my entire life, not even close. It made me genuinely offended on her behalf. Oh and also, the reason she hates Medusa so much? Well, you see, Athena is in love with Poseidon and they have a secred affair at some point, but then he becomes completely yandere for Medusa and she is all he cares about, so Athena is a scorned woman, a crazy jealous ex girlfriend. That's all there is to it.

- Hermes, Aphrodite, Hades and Persephone are saintly gods who are oh so horrified about the fact that other gods rape and punish innocents. It is really hilarious to read about Hermes, who in the source material raped a girl and did nothing when her brother killed her for it , go on rants about how evil and terrible Poseidon and Athena are for what they did to Medusa. Or to read about Aphrodite claiming herself to be among those gods who refuse to participate in the abuse of innocents and don't approve of such actions, when in the myths she makes a group of brothers rape their own mother in order to get revenge on them, and is perfectly willing to destroy Phaedra's life in order to get revenge on her stepson. Of course, Aphrodite is also a loving and devoted wife to Hephaistos; Hades most certainly did not kidnap Persephone and in fact she was the one who pursued him agains her villainous mother's wishes; Hermes is (or at least was before the first sex scene) a several millennia old virgin who has waited in chaste devotion for his one true love, Medusa, to finally admit her love for him. When I say that they are saintly, I mean it. Not even a drop of moral ambiguity or complexity.

- The gods aren't promiscuous and flighty in their affections; quite the contrary, they fall in love once and remain forever and constantly devoted to that one person no matter what. 🤣🤣🤣

- Medusa is actually the daughter of Hades and Persephone, villainously and heartlessly separated from her parents by the villainous and heartless Demeter who forced Persephone to choose between keeping her daughter or being allowed to live with Hades..

And Speaking of Hades, it is so very heartwarming to read scenes where this god, most notorious for violently dragging a young girl into the underworld to be his wife, insults and hits goddesses. But worry not, Athena and Demeter are evil, so it's all ok.

In short, I hated so many things about it. If you love Greek mythology, this might not be for you... Every time it looks like I've already found the worst Greek mythology retelling ever, I come across an even worse one. Anyways, in case any of this sounds appealing, the book is called "The Deep End of the Sea".

[lunadimidiiata]

CRUEL, regulus black

PROLOGUE - august, 1972

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.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

the fading golden rays of the sun filtered through the leaves of a large oak tree, under which two children were sitting.

daphne lestrange sat with her knees drawn up under her chin, her arms forming a loose embrace around her legs. regulus black was sprawled in a rather undignified manner on his back beside her, his gangly arms and legs splayed out as he stared up at the glimpses of blue sky through the branches above them.

"have you thought more about which house you want?" regulus asked. daphne sighed. he'd been pestering her about this for weeks, which was actually rather endearing, as it revealed he wanted them to be in the same house together.

"i'm not sure," daphne replied vaguely, which was somewhat true. but she could never admit that she was secretly wondering about gryffindor, because it would only upset regulus and he would think that she preferred sirius to him (now, the question of which of the brothers she actually preferred was a different matter entirely). but she did wonder, especially more so since sirius himself had said she would make a good fit for gryffindor. daphne didn't think she was brave or courageous at all, but it was nice that sirius had wanted her to be in his house enough to lie to her.

"ravenclaw might be nice," she continued, seeing as regulus didn't say anything.

"arrogant of you to presume you're clever enough for ravenclaw," he said haughtily. she glared at him, and kicked him in the ribs.

"ow!" he exclaimed, looking annoyed.

"that's what you get for insulting me at my own home," she said smugly. "and you're one to talk about cleverness anyway. besides, ravenclaw's about wit and creativity, it's not just being smart, but i don't believe your mind has the capacity to understand such nuances." she felt terribly grown up when she talked down to him that way and was rather pleased with herself. regulus, on the other hand, was decidedly not. he sat up and shoved her, hard.

"stop it!" daphne cried.

"you started it."

"no, i didn't!"

they bickered as they often did, until they had almost forgotten what they were arguing about, falling into silence.

"you won't tell mother i upset you, will you?" regulus finally asked, sounding a bit worried.

"i suppose not," daphne replied. a truce. "what house do you want then?"

"slytherin, of course," came the somewhat prideful reply. daphne hummed in response. "you'll be slytherin too, i know it," he said.

"how can you know?"

"just do," he shrugged.

"sirius will be upset." regulus tensed. it had been the wrong thing to say and now daphne regretted it.

"sirius has already upset everyone else," he said stiffly.

there was a long silence.

"everything's going to change," daphne said in a small voice.

"not us." regulus' quiet voice was firm, with a certainty that suggested it was some sort of universal truth that he knew, deep in his bones.

not us.

if only life were as simple as the words of an eleven-year-old boy.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

[koifishart]

I want to be Your Koi Fish - Nine Tails

Warning: +18 content, criminal underworld, intercourse, strong language - and so on

Fanfiction based on: "Baki" by Itagaki Keisuke

>11<

~ TAIL NR 7 - Soldier

A sharp, very loud sound preceded the opening of next eyes, like she had probably never heard before. The Wearer must have been used to it, because he jumped to his feet, made the bed, or rather a field bunk, reached into the cupboard for the necessary things and ran to the bathroom along with the other men. They were all fairly solid, compressed, in dark boxer shorts and pale tank tops, shaved almost bald, with dog tags gleaming around their necks. The Astral White Fox swallowed. Army. She hated places like this. They were perfect for Black Fox - highly disciplined sister Yui, but not for her, a free soul that would only take out of the box reasoning. It flashed through her mind that it is no coincidence that she finds herself in such harsh environments. She had no more time to think, for after brushing her teeth and a lightning-chilly shower, her Wearer stood as taut as a harp by his bunk, like the rest of the soldiers, clothed head to toe in camouflage. They waited for someone to burst into the room, almost smashing through the door with his shoe. A much higher rank, as suggested by the epaulets on the shoulders of the jacket and the stiff cap covering his impeccably combed hair, as well as a marsh gaze, stricter than the meat of a butcher. Together with his assistant, who followed him half a step, he controlled the quality of the places where his subordinates slept. It only took a minor mistake or oversight to scatter the entire lair. The host didn't even flinch as the colleague's bunk next door landed with a bang on the compacted concrete.

- NOTHING, JUST PUT THE SHIT IN THE CENTER! - growled his supervisor fiercely, rising in front of the owner of the mattress. - Mother did not teach you, lady?!

The young soldier stood there with his lips pressed tightly together, unable to utter a word. Hanabi thought that he had no particular choice: pouted - what he would fly out for; he would insult his mother, which was probably not an option; the third option was ...

- Apparently, in my own stupidity, I fell asleep in this lesson, sir! - he finally replied, and the senior smirked. - It won't happen again, sir!

From outside, they heard the sound of warming up engines, the hum of hurried people, the crackle of things thrown on trunks. The host shuddered slightly as he felt the wave of stress pouring in, which he wanted to carefully conceal. As if he sensed that something he didn't want was going to happen.

- The day has come, my ladies! It's time to become a man and defend your country at the cost of your life! - the commander proudly strolling along them. - You are going to the front today under MY command. Any insubordination will be severely punished, do not count on grace. Gracious, this could be a court martial, not me!

Thoughts in the Bearer's mind proved that he was not lying. He was famous for his cruelty, hardness, and uncompromising approach to subordinates. As a result, he was not particularly liked, but apparently his actions gave the expected results, he was unmatched in battle. The young soldier she had possessed, however, had flashes that suggested he did not like the way. They agreed here. It only took a few minutes for her to hate the guy on the spot. But is it possible that she just didn't like the army and hence such a ruthless judgment? Again, the Carrier was packing his last things into a cavernous backpack, then he went for rations and other essentials to get into the back of one of the military vehicles in a moment, and he sighed deeply, trying to get rid of the persistent tension. He's not the only one. The others looked similarly concerned. She wondered if you could ever get used to marching orders, or if you just had to display a certain character, cold and unscrupulous. If her astral body had a stomach, it would just be turning over from nerves to the other side. She didn't understand why. She knew very well that war means fighting the enemy, killing people ... She was no stranger to it, so why the tension? Perhaps she was terrified by the scale of the event - usually its victims were individuals, not entire squads; this time she has an army against an army under fire.

As time passed, she decided that no, it had to be something else. They made camp after camp, pushing the enemy back, repelling attacks, with smaller or bigger losses in their own strength. She tried to support her carrier with vital forces, but not to reveal herself. He tried to be surprisingly merciful to his opponents, although there were as many fatal shots as he could, he only wanted to hurt badly. The commanders definitely didn't like it. He would walk over the dead to his goal. He could not, however, draw the consequences because, after all, they were pushing forward and the soldier was not showing insubordination. She had to admit the plan had turned out to be quite clever. As her hunch said: for a time. The time has finally come. They were sitting in the tent when HE came. Exceptionally cheerful, if that could be called the grimace that adorned his face. But there was someone else, a step ahead of him, clearly higher in the hierarchy. The carrier associated him with his first day in the army and military school. Hanabi caught the memory flashing in front of her, taking a closer look. She concluded that he was the supreme commander of their army, whom the soldier had chosen as his role model. The man sat down in the first row of field chairs, out of the corner of his eye watching his subordinates standing at attention and the still surprisingly smiling commander.

- Gentlemen! - He started clearly more culturally than usual, then pointed to the point on the map. - Time for the final assault on the enemy! To do this, over the next 24 hours, we're moving the camp to a nearby village to make it a foothold and the center of our victory!

- What about civilians, sir? - the Carrier blurted out the question. - Will they be resettled during the fighting?

- They were informed about the necessity to surrender the area. - he replied. - They're gonna get out.

- What if they don't? - the young soldier continued. - We walked through this village, it is full of infirm old men and a lot of children! It's not real!

- Too bad, war means casualties, soldier. the visibly irritated interlocutor snorted. - It is up to the residents to survive. And the strongest survives.

The fox thought for a moment. The guy was right - it's unreal. So what was the military going to do? More voices full of doubts rose, apparently underpinned by the speech of the man she possessed. "Courage, man!" She thought, engaging her astral forces.

- Does this mean that our country's Defense Forces want to allow hundreds of lives of innocent civilians to be sacrificed so lightly, instead of helping them relocate? - said the Bearer forcefully, clearly drawing the attention of the marshal in the front row. - Are these solutions promoted by developed civilization? An animal, blind rush to win? Yes, war means casualties, Captain, but not the slaughter of the innocent!

The captain was clearly nervous, which was not difficult at all. From the very beginning, she saw that he was an explosive man, prone to quarrels and morbidly getting on his way. A typical superiority complex. He couldn't help but when someone questioned his opinion, even very accurately. The carrier caused quite a stir among the soldiers. Perhaps he even had the makings of several titles higher than the one he had, she thought.

- I'm calling you to order, Corporal! - the man in front of him growled fiercely. - A soldier is to obey orders! When I say "go", you go, "eat", you eat, and when I say "get rid of the ballast", you kill the fucking unnecessary civilians standing in our way!

- Those" fucking unnecessary civilians "are still PEOPLE! - Hanabi growled, taking over the Host's voice for a moment. - Situation like that village, may find our houses! I cannot imagine that nowadays we will be so absurd and inhumane! If you understand differently DEFENSE and FIGHT AGAINST THE ENEMY, you are a monster, Captain!

The whole tent was filled with praise from others, thunderous applause and rebellious shouts. It was too much.

- You ungrateful ... - chuffed the captain, pulling the gun from his belt. - You're messing with me from the beginning!

- ENOUGH! - the marshal from the first row bellowed at the top of his throat.

Everyone fell silent, as if the entire squad had been slapped in one fell swoop, including the enraged commander. He looked frightened at his superior, walking proudly and tearing the epaulets off his shoulders with one stroke. Light firearms hit the compacted ground, as did torn pieces of cloth with shiny stars.

"I had heard rumors of similar excesses before, but I did not want to believe in this hideous brutality for which no one had real evidence. In the end, I decided to check it out for myself. - the marshal replied calmly. - I remember you, boy, from the time when you stood among those soldiers below you. You were ambitious, strong ... I am terribly ashamed that for so many years I helped someone to rise to power who could not remain human.

- But ... but sir ... this is ... - stuttered the man thrown from his slack.

- Go back to base. I am sending a report on you immediately and a demand that you be brought before a military court immediately. - the marshal concluded dryly.

[bitch-butter]

I joked that I was going to make a Lifetime movies rec list a while ago and Truly being bored at work has given birth to worse ideas, so this is one for my fellow cinephiles lol

My Highest Recommended Lifetime Movies in the Order in which they Changed my Life

Small Sacrifices (1989)

I'm honestly unclear whether this was intended originally to be a Lifetime movie because they showed it on a few different networks, but this was the first one that I ever remembered seeing and it Rocked my world. It's a true story about a woman named Diane Downs who attempted to murder her children and my mother and her friends lived for this film in a way that like is actually bonechilling. But I was spellbound by Farrah Fawcett in this movie, I thought she was the greatest actress I'd ever seen, and the story was really dark and scary and felt disgustingly salacious. So everything I'd come to like about Lifetime movies lol.

No One Would Tell (1996)

All my mom loved in the world was to wake up hungover on a Sunday and turn Lifetime on and proceed to fall asleep again while my tiny child peepers beheld Truly heinous shit. This one is one that I continue to make people watch because I can't be alone with the memories, but basically Candace Cameron is in a horribly abusive relationship with her boyfriend, Fred Savage, and he ends up murdering her and it is Incredibly sad and traumatic. There's a historic scene where she's taking a shower and her entire body is just littered with bruises and I will Never forget it!!!!!!!!! Very, very dark. But....iconic.

Odd Girl Out (2005)

This was the point in time where Uncle Television was very much concerned with telling young girls about bullying (for a different and just as good interp of this theme see ABC Family's Cyberbully starring Emily Osmont). But this one was the first and best to me, I related to it very much as an ostracized teen. It stars Alexa Vega, and she's a teen that has her whole popular friend group turn against her and she gets bullied bad lol It gets dark but only for like 20 minutes and then her redemption arc is nice. I loved this movie to death until I discovered Thirteen (2003), which is Way darker and had girls kissing in it for a few seconds.

Fab Five: The Texas Cheerleader Scandal (2008)

This movie was my identity. This movie was my child. Every time it was on TV I stopped whatever I was doing and watched it. I have no idea why, because I have been told people mainly find this one boring, but I think it's mostly due to the fact that I really do love movies where teenagers behave badly with impunity. This was a Ripped From the Headlines Lifetime movie about a roving band of cheerleaders that terrorize everyone in their wake at a Texas high school and basically get away with it because one of their mom's is the principal. I think it is a lol and a half, it's actually pretty competent, and there's like Good performances in it from actual actors. Highest rec possible.

Liz & Dick (2012)

Lindsay Lohan gets so unfairly maligned for her performance in this, it's sick. My most cherished memories of my last year of High School are watching this movie late at night and reading all of Lindsay's blind items and every article that was being written about her failed comeback. Again, I think she's actually okay in this, but for a lot of people it was insulting to cast Lindsay Lohan as Elizabeth Taylor and to those people I say haters get thee behind me. It's fun, it's campy, it's not too long, everybody watch it and relax for a while.

Flowers in the Attic (2014)

DARK DARK DARK but also STUPID STUPID STUPID. Seriously this movie has no business being as funny as it is given the subject matter. Basically a bunch of kids are uprooted by the death of their father and their mother forces them to live in the attic of her wealthy parents home under false pretenses, and incest ensues. Which, again, sounds really upsetting but is actually pretty funny a lot of the time lol. Their evil god-fearing grandma is played by Ellen Burstyn and she's So over the top, and their mom is my queen Heather Graham who is actually pretty chilling. The other movies in the saga are Also pretty dark, stupid, and fun, but this one was a legit phenomenon. Me and my college roommate would host viewings of it in our dorm room, it's really fun to watch in a crowd of people that don't get darked out by poorly handled incest.

Harry and Meghan: A Royal Romance (2018)

This is part one of a trilogy, but it's probably the best one even though the third is pretty fun. Honestly, you guys, this one is just Nice. Truly dgaf about the irl Harry and Meghan but this movie is actually a very fun love story, and it's sweet and has a few legitimately compelling twists and turns, and ultimately has a really satisfying ending. The actors playing Meghan and Harry are stellar, it's funny, it's cute, another highly recced film.

Who Killed Jonbenet? (2016)

An unhinged Eion Bailey performance for the ages with added child murder. Sarah and I are Definitely recording an episode about this one in the future, but truly it's almost too bleak to be chic and gets saved at the last minute by how inadvertently goofy it is. Eion's character develops a psycho-sexual (to me) fixation on an older detective who comes in and basically upends his investigation, and everything about it gives "but daddy please" and I love it and hate it at the same time.

Death of a Cheerleader (1994/2019)

Both versions of this movie are elite, the original is truly iconic and the remake is actually deluxe and makes some changes that I think make it an actually interesting movie. In Lifetime fashion it is Based On a True Story (fun fact: in my younger years I listened to My Favorite Murder and this story gets mentioned in one of their first episodes and they offhandedly mention that the murder weapon was like 8 inches long and That is a fact that has stuck with me in the middle of the night). I'd say watch them both, because the OG has a Tori Spelling performance that cannot be missed and is just a basic mean girls comeuppance story, but the redux is a lot more thoughtful and actually reflects some humanity on all characters which (if you haven't noticed) Lifetime isn't always great at lol.

Too Young to Be a Dad (2002)

UGH. Me and my girlfriend Just watched this and honestly that's a shame because I wish I'd had this movie my entire life. Paul Dano is a teenager that loses his virginity and impregnates his friend in one fell swoop and he has to Step Up and become a Man as like a fifteen year old, which sounds crazy and is but is legitimately a captivating movie. And Paul Dano is sooo fucking good in, it's not even a joke, watch it for his performance alone. I laughed, I cried, a perfect film (even though they never address abortion as a viable option lol Lifetime can only go so far ig).

This was Purely just for me but if you read this and watch these movies please lmk what you thought ~

[weebsinstash]

Follow up from this post about The Silent Alpha because wow this is wild (also this posr is long as fuck because i basically just started retelling the plot because it's entirely drama now lol:

-Vanessa is one determined bitch, you have to give her that. She actually gets her hands on black market werewolf venom because Christian refuses to turn her and she's read becoming a werewolf can sometimes heal old injuries and she thinks it can give her her fertility back (also she fucked the guy who sold it to her for a discount)

-Vanessa um. Is actually kind of justified for being the way she is. It's revealed that her and Natalia's parents always heavily favored Natalia for being smarter and more talented to the point Vanessa was just openly insulted. Like it gives us some flashbacks and Vanessa goes to show her mom a good report card, mom throws it on the table "what, you want a medal? You should be making the honor roll every time just like your sister. I didn't leave my country for you to not take advantage of your education" but then Vanessa joins the cheer squad and her mother still has no time for her? Just always comparing her to Natalia? And then you know what happens? Vanessa, needing some praise and recognition, goes to a party and winds up getting roofied and raped by a college boy, and after her experience, which she never even told a single person about btw, it traumatized her and she became sexually promiscuous to "erase every single trace that he ever touched me. Sex became like a transaction to me. It's something i can use to my benefit" LIKE Y'ALL THAT'S LITERALLY TRAUMA? I can't exactly sitting here boiling with rage "oh wait youre telling me the big bad villain is a girl who was neglected in her childhood, raped as a teenager, shoved aside as a young adult, and then had her heart shattered as her love found another? Yeah no I actually want her to have something good come here way at this point" So I can 100% completely genuinely understand how Vanessa became this way.

-being hit with the venom, which was specifically supposed to be Alpha werewolf venom, sends her into a delirious coma (it's during this coma we see these glimpses into her past and it's kind of heartbreaking, it kind of just sounds like all she ever wanted was some recognition and praise) where she's fighting for her life for an undisclosed amount of time but it sounds like she's suffering really vivid out of body experiences of being stuck in pitch blackness and falling into water and. At the end of it all? She sees her wolf, a big beautiful strong wolf! Except the Moon Goddes appears and says PSYCH, bitch this WOULD HAVE been your wolf if you had trusted MY PLAN. I had a wolf and a mate who would have the patience and love for you all picked out and you ruined it girl!

-the moon goddess tells her straight up that, you know what, in fact I'm giving this Alpha wolf to your sister instead since you took her mate from her :) which uhhhh I feel like this raises some consent issues but maybe Natalia is going to ask Zane to turn her this time around and then she gets a wolf? But otherwise if Natalia just wakes up as a wolf someday I feel like that raises some red flags

-Vanessa wakes up and finds out Christian's Beta, Derek, is her mate now that she has a wolf. But he instantly pussies out and rejects her because she's the Luna and is already with Christian (even though Dereks wolf literally says outright 'but christian is just planning to replace her when he finds natalia, why dont we just take our mate? We literally dont even have to reject her dude' But Derek doesnt really want Vanessa after seeing what a snake she is). But like, was he supposed to be her mate the whole time? Why did they never feel the mate bond before? It's kind of a plothole

-Vanessa fucking JETS once Derek rejects her and leaves the room to speak with a nurse, who reveals, hey yo Vanessa is like magically healed and she's pregnant? (Presumably with the rogue werewolf's baby since Christian doesn't sleep with her anymore after finding out about Natalia being pregnant years ago) which btw means Vanessa doesn't even know she's pregnant either

-Derek goes to tell Christian that Vanessa is pregnant and Christiain outright tells Derek to kill Vanessa and the unborn pup "because Dakota is his only heir and Natalia is his true mate" like he's obsessed with getting Natalia back, meanwhile Natalia is rising Zane's dick and Dakota has started calling Zane his dad. Like Christian says straight up "get rid of that pup before Dakota and Natalia come back or so help me--"

-honestly? I feel bad for Vanessa. Yeah she did something really shittty and horrible but I understand it. Christian was actually a genuine source of support for her after a lifetime of being looked down on and she lost him to Natalia? I would kill myself. I find it kind of odd the moon goddess felt the need to say "oh, I had it all planned but you ruined it" like clearly it already wasn't working out? You literally mated Natalia with a piece of shit scumbag who wound up betraying her, was that part of the plan too? Like is the moon goddess implying Vanessa is responsible for Christian's actions and that this sort of scenario never would have happened without Vanessa? That Christian never wouod have cheated? That feels like bullshit and doesn't make Christian take accountability at all? And how long is Vanessa supposed to wait for her happiness, for this oh so sacred plan? She's a grown woman in her twenties, like how long is she supposed to wait. I find it a little um insulting and deflective that the story is framed as Vanessa getting her just desserts when it's like uh, actually she had a pretty valid reason for being bitter and a snake, she was literally put down her entire life. Like she's literally a product of her environment? Was it Vanessa's fault her mom treated her like shit and called her an idiot to her face? And really tbh, how good even is moon goddess' oh so beloved plan if you can. Knock it off track. Spoiler alert but if you can uh change your destiny it's not actually your destiny. So. Idk?

-I'm still real bitter about Vanessa actually. Moon G is like "I'm still going to give you a wolf tho, she isn't much but you can become strong together if you work hard" nd Vanessa's new wolf is like small and brown and pitiful and we don't even hear her speak or learn her name unlike the first wolf who literally spoke up and introduced herself, to be honest I'm not sure if the new brown wolf CAN speak? (Edit: Nevermind, its a plot point that humans cannot speak to their new wolves until they are marked which is lowkey really stupid tbh) And isn't it kind of a punishment for this innocent wolf spirit to be given to Vanessa? Unless the wolf spirit is also on some sort of probation? I actually read another story once where when a werewolf dies they burn the body so the wolf spirit can go back to the moon goddess and be reborn again so idk, maybe these are old spirits or something 🤔

-this is, like, a graphic sex audiobook by the way. They give you the whole menagerie of "cunt, pussy, pussy folds, wet hole, hard cock" there's a queef at one point that becomes a recurring joke, like, some of these stories have no erotic, some of them have tasteful erotic, and some of them get naaaaaaasty, like I think literally the whiplash between chapter 3 is Natalia leaving her pack heartbroken and chapter 4 immediately beginning with having Christian fucking Vanessa in graphic detail like it literally transitions from Natalia being betrayed and heartbroken to Christian nose deep in her sister

-backstabbing pussy Gamma Jordan is sent to find out where Natalia was living and gains the trust of her coworkers to get her number and warn her that Christian is going feral and is coming for her and Dakota, as well as Vanessa being infertile

-Christian contacts motherfucking WITCHES to track Dakota and Natalia down because he's too impatient to wait for Jordan. The witches perform a ritual with blood and Natalia's hairbrush and say the God of Chaos heard their plea and can find his family "for a hefty price"

"I can give you all the money you need"

"No, not money, blood"

"Whose?"

"Your mother's"

-I have to briefly go out of the order of events to bring up that like 10 chapters later, Christian does in fact kill his own mother and it's CHILLING. His mother, Kay, is genuinely scared and worried for him and asks him out for a run. They shift and are running and playing tag and he's remembering his childhood and he's legitimately fucking broken. He and his mother stop and she tells him she just wants to help, that hes sick, and it's emphasized that he's very meek and quiet while he asks "do you really think I'm sick mom ..?" Like he's actually considering some sort of help

Do you remember how before I mentioned that I felt bad for his wolf Jack. No. No. No. JACK IS THE TRUE VILLAIN OF THIS STORY. Christian is literally being held by his crying mother while Jack is going "KILL HER, SHE TOOK YOUR MATE, SHES A LIAR, KILL HER" and I can't remember if Jack takes over or not but, Christian kills his mother and takes her body back to the witches to perform the ritual and btw the main witch basically makes it obvious she's judging the fuck out of him, literally looking him up and down like "so you actually did it" like yeah girl he's clearly fucking crazy

-knowing Christian is coming after her actually gives Natalia the courage to fully devote herself to her own happiness and she tells Zane to mark her THAT NIGHT (which means a lot since she's been refusing to be marked up to this point because of the trauma of Christian. It caused her horrible pain to break the bond and her mark faded in 3 days, so she got legitimately depressed "those years of love and promises, gone in just 3 days. What did it even mean. What was it even for")

-theres a B plot about like Zane's pack and family and how his mother is still alive and there's gonna be a war because one of the werewolf kings is evil, Zane's dad Sebastian killed the wife of one of his enemies, Toren Ravenstone, his enemy responded by killing Zane's mom, who, resurrected while her body was being brought back to Ravenstone for unknown reasons besides "the moon goddess must have had a plan" and she lost her memory and fell in love with the guy trying to get revenge, so Zane finds out not only is his mom alive but is like married to the man who technically killed her, and also that "Mr big evil villain" is actually way nicer and more chill to his mom than his father ever was

-I literally never brought this up because i was waiting for it to like actually be important but ages ago Natalia's witch friend who helped her deliver Dakota was like "just trust me, I need you and Kota to get on a plane, you're in danger, just trust me" and Zane, Natalia, and Dakota were flown to California where Aurora, protagonist of the first book and the Ivory Queen of the werewolves lives. It's been like idk over 20, 30 chapters and we still don't know why Gwen said they needed to come "because i cant tell you yet, just trust me". Like it's keeping them safe from Christian but like we've spent a quarter of the book in this gd palace and we still don't know why, it feels very plot convenience-y, im getting annoyed because at this point Aurora from book 1 is becoming a weird plot device "oh how convenient the protagonist from the first book is our friend now and she's also super cool and powerful"

(Edit, it really still isn't relevant yet. Apparently there's a plot twist that Natalia may not be 100% human and have fae-enchanted blood that protects her species from vampires and guess what emergency Gwen needed them to evacuate for. Vampires. But up to the most current chapter, it doesn't really play any part of the story)

-so the b plot with Zane is a little complicated. He's an Alpha heir but his father is an asshole and cast him out, demoted him to Omega before making him a rogue, and Zane was replaced by another heir and halfsibling, Caine, who HATES him because Caine's mom, well, stereotypical evil slut who came onto Zane who turned her down and she accused him of rape which his father knew wasn't true but let him be punished for anyways. So. Caine finds out he has a brother and he's alive and then finds out it's Zane, the accused rapist, and also hey before even knowing this information, his mom told him straight up "hey, KILL Zane actually? He's after your title as future alpha, you have to secure the right you have earned"

-so, Dakota has a nightmare that is vaguely implied to maybe be a premonition (edit: yeah lmao its later revealed to be actual visions) of "mommy getting hurt by a bad wolf and there was red water all over her" and to console him they try to take him to the park to see the butterflies and GETS SHOT AT, by Caine, who MISSES ZANE because hes a fucking idiot firing a revolver from a moving car, and hits Natalia, which at this point I'm thinking "are they gonna have to turn her to save her life"

-yes and no. While she's in, you know the injury coma, that's when the moon goddess has a chat with her, gives her a wolf and stuff

-in this series, all werewolves have unique gifts, it's some real like MHA Quirk bullshit sometimes. Zane is a mindreader/empath who can share memories and actually like mindcontrol people into obeying him, and other people do things like, turn into sand, create hallucinations, create illusions that can fight, it can be kind of dumb lmao kinda just reminding me of the werewolf alpha Bakugou x Reader thing I wanna write lol

-Zane's wolf Grayson doesn't fuck around fighting with Caine (Natalia isnt turned until after the fight so he's worried she's dying and can feel that she is through the bond). "Take that revolver and let's play Russian Routlette" except, you know, not taking the gun from him, using the mind control powers to make him pull the trigger until Caine is dead

-Natalia loses consciousness and enters this kind of dream where she thinks she's dead and her exact reaction is to be sad she can't be with Zane and Dakota anymore but "she can rest knowing her son had a father that will raise him with love" like she loves both of them so much 🥺❤️ like she actually thinks of that and it brings her so much peace she basically accepts her death like I'm crying?? What the fuck??? She's falling through the same black nothingness, breaking away into blue skies, and then falling into water and having to swim to the surface and finding herself in the middle of the lake with a voice calling her to the shore. And guess what. This is the exact same fever dream Vanessa had when she turned

-yeah, Natalia meets a silver wolf who takes her to the moon goddess herself. She doesn't realize who she's talking to amd basically tells her straight up she doesn't believe in fate, she makes her own fate, and moon goddess kind of drags out actually introducing herself. All wolves, the ones werewolves have at least, are vessels filled with souls and love created by the moon goddess personally. She basically handcrafts every wolf and every mate to every person's destiny and Natalia's just like "why did you let Christian hurt me then, I loved him and trusted him, and I trusted YOU" and reads her for filth and asks why she can't just leave her alone

-honestly moon goddess kind of personally encapsulates the pompous holy figure attitude "I do the best I can" fake apology bullshit that makes religion really crawl under my skin. She says she can try and teach the wolves but humans have free will and she can't control everything but like... her apology, which isn't an apology, is more self pitying about how it hurts her as a mother to see wolves suffer. She picked Natalia for Jack because she thought it would balance Jack's temper out (oh so Natalia has to be sacrificed to fix Jack's fucking problems???) but also she KNEW Christian was flawed and hoped he would change, and she also expected Jack to help protect the mate bond which he didn't, so im just sitting here like, why would you even create this sort of mate bond system if it is so flawed and easy to go wrong. Why are you dragging HUMANS into this if you're supposed to be the werewolves god.

-also it should be noted that she is apparently specifically the moon goddess from Greek mythology because they later bring up the goddess of night being her mother, and also the God of chaos and, basically there are multiple gods

Like ok. Look at it this way. Moon Goddess is kind of playing matchmaker but she doesn't know the eventual outcome. But she's also. Implementing soul magic bullshit which can literally manipulate your thoughts and feelings and then saying "oh but I can't keep things from going wrong, I can ONLY SLIGHTLY ROB YOU OF FREE WILL" like, you're basically kidnapping and brainwashing people and playing sanctimonious about it??? You're kind of forcing people to fall in love and then saying "oh sorry I made it where you literally feel like incredible lightning when you touch and even looking at him makes your brain mass produce dopamine but he turned out to be an abusive prick who never respected you, lmao my bad, let me give you another attempt at a mate as my apology" like no leave me alone actually? You're creepy? The mate bond has HORROR MOVIE potential???

-apparently there's a mandatory dress code in this magical dream world, which I'm theorizing is the moon goddess' realm, because both Vanessa and Natalia find themselves wearing white dresses in these dreams, and in book 1 Aurora had dreams where she entered a realm and wore white dresses but I can't go into that without spoiling some of book 1 💀

-after Natalia wakes up and spills what the MG told her, and mentions that the moon goddess mentioned her wolf was blessed by the goddess of night, the moon goddess' mother, and, Aurora investigates and goes to get Gwen who would know more about rhe Night Mother and, apparently Natalia is probably something called a Latum human, which is a human with special blood that was once enchanted by a fae to protect his human lover from vampires drinking their blood and basically created a new race of demihumans and Natalia is just now finding out she's not 100% "home grown organic human" and that even her wolf is unusual

-GIIIIIRL Natalia's wolf is a SLUT but like we get it. Her and Zane are marking each other because the b plot about Zanes old pack means he kinda lowkey has to go to war, and her wolf, Davina, is talking to Grayson, and he's all tongue-tied, and she says "do you not like my mark?"

"Well, y-yeah"

"Then why aren't I cumming yet?" And "This clit isn't going to lick itself" GIIIIRRRLLLLLL

-so anyways, Christian brings the now dead Kay back to the witches, his father is blowing up his phone because he "can't feel his mate" and can't find her and he's freaking out, he has no idea she's dead, and Christian is just emotionless like "wow I can't believe I did that. At least I get Natalia and Dakota back" meanwhile Jack has absolutely no remorse. So the witches complete the ritual and summons the God of Chaos, because, apparently, Kay's blood wasn't for the job itself, it was just to summon the God who will help, who communicates by possessing one of the witches

-the chaos God is a troll and is totally off their rocker. He's gonna help Christian but there's a new price now to actually DO the thing, and Chaos asks "what are you willing to give". Jack speaks up from inside of Christian and says "ANYTHING"

-MOTHERFUCKING CHAOS, this goddamn TROLL, takes JACK HIMSELF, PUTS HIM IN A MAGIC ROCK LIKE A POKEMON. Tells Christian "I took your wolf, bring your son and the medallion he will be wearing back to me by midnight or you'll NEVER get him back" and gives Christian the Jack-rock to hold onto. But also lmao, guess how he helps Christian find Natalia and Dakota. Touches his forehead and bro starts hearing VOICES who start trolling him but also telling him directions like they're basically like "turn right, MOMMYKILLER. You MOMMYKILLER, NEENER NEENER" like lmao they actually start driving him insane

-I shit you not, I shit you not, Christian is occasionally hallucinating because of the voices and looks at this hallucination of Dakota and Natalia that suddenly manifested in the backseat of his car and fake-Nat is cryiny and he thinks "for once I actually want to comfort her" bitch, what do you MEAN 'for ONCE'???? SO YOU BASICALLY DIDNT EVEN LIKE HER THAT MUCH ANYWAYS???? EVEN BEFORE SHE COULDNT CONCEIVE????

With every passing chapter that reveals what an even bigger piece of shit Christian is, I can't help but wonder how the moon goddess could have fucked up THIS badly, like now that Natalia is gone he is obsessed but even when reflecting on the past he acknowledges that he was basically ALWAYS a bastard to her.

-fucking loser ass Christian does all this shit to get his family back and you know what happens? He kidnaps Dakota from a play center and he doesn't even have a car seat for him, so he's laying Kota flat in the seat and buckling him in while the voices are literally jeering "child endangerment! We've got father of the year over here!" Which, agreed! You can kill your own mom but not get your toddler a car seat? idiot!!

-Christian takes the medallion back to Chaos and oh my god this guy's hilarious. He's like "oh yeah, to get your wolf back, just smahs the rock he's contained in and call out to him" and Christian is just like "wait do you mean I could have gotten him back at any time" and Chaos is like "LOL YEAH I WAS JUST FUCKING WITH YOU" LMAOOOOOO

-oh my god. Oh my gosh. I never saw this twist coming and its actually SO GOOD. Actually kind of scary too. Christian is calling out to Jack, and he just hears growling and laughing? And then??? JACK TAKES FULL CONTROL. CHRISTIAN GETS ACTUALLY FUCKING BODY SNATCHED, HIS SUBCONCIOUS THROWN INTO A MENTAL CAGE, AND JACK SAYS HE IS NEVER LETTING HIM OUT EVER AGAIN. Christian LITERALLY cannot do anything anymore, it's all Jack, in full control, and now that he has Dakota, he's coming for his Natalia, his mate, his Tiny

And that's kind of where the story is so far, with the side character who was babysitting Dakota, Agnes, being unconscious because Christian roofied her and is unable to tell Natalia that Dakota has been taken, meanwhile Zane is literally on an island in Ravenstone territory fighting CHEMICAL WARFARE with his father's pack. Definitely a nail biting cliffhanger and I hope there aren't too many more chapters to go 😩

[aajjks]

To that anonymous coward who keeps pestering Alina and saying that she doesn't deserve Jungkook:

Listen up and listen well.

Do you think you deserve Jungkook, you asshole? If so, sorry to break it to you, but very few people do, and you're definitely not one of them. He deserves someone with a heart of gold just like him. He deserves someone that won't hurt other people's feelings, because he would certainly never do that intentionally. He deserves someone that knows how to keep their cool and stay chilled, instead of lashing out on the internet.

Imagine what Jungkook would think if he saw you pestering Alina. You should be ashamed of yourself. You sound like a spoiled brat whose mother didn't teach them manners. And if your mother tried teaching you manners, she clearly didn't succeed, so I pity her. (Sorry if you take that as an insult to your mother. I don't intend to stoop as low as you.)

What would Jungkook do in your situation, huh? If he saw something that he didn't like on the internet, he wouldn't be bothered by it. He would just keep scrolling and move on with his life. He doesn't care about his haters, to the point that he doesn't even bother to sue them. So why are you so bothered with a blog on Tumblr?

I'm sure you've heard about that person who spread false rumors and spoke shit about Taehyung. Yeah, well, they're sitting with a lawsuit on their hands and pleading for forgiveness at the moment. They were trying to be a big bad bully, but now they're probably sitting somewhere fearing for their life in the future because they don't want a criminal record to prevent them from studies and jobs. They tried to wreck someone else's reputation before considering the consequences on their own.

Alina might not sue you, although it would be entirely reasonable if she did. You totally deserve it at this point, after all you've said and done. You're hiding under the banner of anonymity, so she couldn't sue you even if she wanted to. Regardless, I wouldn't blame her if she did want to. Even if she had the chance to, and chose to show mercy on you for some weird but admirable reason, you're still heading down a similar destructive path with the attitude that you currently have. I suggest that you take some time to reflect on how you're affecting another person's life before something drastic happens in your life and you find yourself dealing with a legal case. Rather learn the easy way now, before life has to teach you the hard way. Learn now while you're just harassing some strangers on the internet, before your immaturity costs you in your real personal capacity.

It's going to come back to you in some form of karma, just try and minimize the severity of it while you still stand a chance. One day, you'll regret it. So start regretting it now and have some human decency to leave Alina alone and let her be. It's her blog. She can do what she wants to with it. Let her feel comfortable in her own space just like she's made us feel so welcome. Stop looking at her blog if it makes you frustrated.

If you're so hell bent on 'Alina not deserving Jungkook' and insisting that she 'deletes every trace of him off her blog,' then I'm guessing that you probably have some sort of obsession or possessiveness over the real Jungkook based on your obvious need to defend or protect him in your own psychotic way. If you don't find yourself emotionally attached to him (which I'd find hard to believe), then, surely you have some form of awareness about Jungkook. Not a fictional Jungkook. The real one that doesn't give a fuck. One that let's haters be and doesn't retaliate against him.

I'm not saying that Alina is a hater. She is not. She's an amazing, creative and caring soul that would be so sweet and nice to you if you didn't try to bring her down all the time. However, if for some reason, you see Alina as a hater in your opinion (which in my opinion, she is not), just take Jungkook's example and move on with your life.

Even if Alina were guilty of all the things you accuse her of like being a hater (which she's not), just move on with your life. Please. Thank you.

I hope you find peace or go fuck off. Either one will do. Whether you come around, change your attitude, join the party and actually participate and have fun on this blog, or whether you go cry and curl up in a hole with the guilt and embarrassment of what you've done, either one will do the trick. The job is done if you bid farewell to your current attitude. People have the capability to change, so rather change for the good, because surely you weren't born this bitter.

So, for whichever one you choose, good riddance or welcome to the family bitch!

Oh my goodness, you have no idea how happy I am right now at least some people are intelligent on this blog, let me clarify something because a lot of people are misunderstanding.

I do not hate him I can never. I guess that I used to have a crush on him and it was hard for me to deal with all of the changes but I’m slowly starting to get used to them and I’m trying my best because I know it is very immature of me to be behave like that and I’m ashamed of my behavior.

But this bitch keeps on bothering me. I fucking hate this anonymous bitch. There are obsessed with the idea of me being obsessed with him.

I shouldn’t have to clarify anything to anyone. This is so frustrating and trust me if I could sue this person I would I’m still looking for ways to do that though.

Maybe one day I’ll find something and teach them a good fucking lesson.

It’s really easy for people to hide behind anonymity and threaten others, it’s very very easy I could do that too. I mean I could just turn the anon button off and they would fuck off.

Which i choose not to do because I know a lot of people love to interact with me behind the protection of anonymity. But I do not like being lectured on how I should react to something.

I’m working on my flaws.

I love you so much. Thank you for taking our time for writing all of this and sending this to me. Your support means so much to me. I appreciate you so much. I’ll always remember this.

[talesofmetalandmagic]

Azir the Exile: prologue

(this is another AU I’ve been mentioning for a while that has nothing to do with the one about Azir being tortured by Xerath, even though he’s not happy in this one either because it’s my AU)

-This is the last time you shame us with your stupidity.-

-Father… I beg you.-

Prince Azir, twelve years of age, the sweetest eyes you’d ever see in the Royal Palace or elsewhere now filled with glassy tears, kneels at the bottom of the throne as if his blood was of no worth. He’s never begged, before: not even his own father.

None dare look in his eyes: not the Queen, who seems to relish in her husband’s words, nor his older siblings, standing in a row by her side. They know their little brother is lost, and despite their heavy hearts, none of them could possibly fathom Azir’s decision.

He’s always been strange, but not like this.

-Fraternizing with the lowlife is idiotic even for you. Never…- the Emperor sounds tired, as if he was the hurt party in the situation. -Never has anyone in this dinasty ever insulted us this way.-

-Xerath is good! He’s been good to me, he respects me! He thinks I’m smart.-

-Xerath.- Despite Shurima’s relentless heat, the air seems to freeze around the Emperor. -That one doesn’t deserve a name.-

-I gave it to him, because he’s mine. He’s good and smart… and if you just cared to know him!-

Azir’s eyes seem to bulge out of their sockets he’s crying so much. Even the palace guards look at each other as if the kid has gone mad.

-We of Royal blood give no heed to his kind. But worry not about him: soon he’ll no longer be of worry. Mind your own life, child, and be cert…-

-IMPERIAL MAJESTY, WATCH OUT!-

As if he’d forgotten his fear entirely, Azir lunges to the throne like a rampaging hawk and raises his fists towards his father’s face.

Fists rain upon him; the guards, the servants, even his own mother. But even as strong adult arms drag him away from the throne, hairband coming undone in a flood of locs, he thrashes and weeps.

-NO! NOT XERATH… PLEASE, DON’T! HE’S MY FRIEND… Y-YOU CAN’T…-

Being exiled could have been a sweeter ordeal with his friend by his side. Xerath is clever and inventive, and already saved his life once. They could have lived a life of adventure and forget the loss of status.

But the threat of losing him makes Azir lose what little restraint he has.

As he’s dragged off into the street, kicking and sobbing until he’s out of breath, he witnesses the court artisans carving his name and face away from all the mosaics, the servants ripping his likeness from the paintings, and baskets and boxes of his books, jewels, make-up, his lyre, his practice armor and his own ornate dagger being taken from his rooms.

But there’s one thing – one man – on his mind.

-DON’T HURT HIM, PH… PLEASE! XERATH IS MY… MY FRIEND. DON’T KILL HIM PLEASE, FATHER PLEASE! MOTHER… SOMEONE… please-

~ ~ ~

Azir finds himself out a backdoor, kneeling into the scalding sand, his tears drawing circles into the floor.

Until the evening he screams – he bangs at the door calling Xerath’s name, shedding blood from his fists and growing hoarse with every scream.

It’s over. All his love did was ruin the one person who genuinely cared for him.

When dusk falls, Azir’s strength has expired – but not his tears. He sits in the corner of the back alley he was tossed out of, like a discarded kitten, muttering Xerath’s sweet lost name, and looking upon the wreckage he made of himself.

One day ago he was a prince, clad in gold and silk, beloved by the kingdom and coveted by the worthy. Now he’s nothing. No name, no friends, no place to go, no skills outside from ruling.

So, when a shadow looms over him, he only has the strength to raise his neck – and through the film of tears, a familiar face appears.

-Little bird?-

[hitchell-mope]

(Third film. After “I won’t say I’m in love”. Back in Olympus’s library. Evie’s found a book full of her scholastic accomplishments. Inside it she’s found a dvd disc labelled “Senior Year Showcase”. She’s just put it in a disc drive located in a projector. In the video. Doug and Evie are sitting at an extremely ornately decorated grand piano situated in front of the entire student body. This is when “suddenly Seymour” happens. After the song. Evie notices somebody standing behind her)

Evie: you filmed this. I can’t believe you filmed this. And I can’t believe you brought it here.

Persey: of course I filmed it. I was the TA in charge of the showcase. And of course I brought it here. You’re my baby sister. Plus my mother asked.

Evie: oh

Persey: don’t let it stoke your ego though. I brought Ben and Mal’s performance of “Dead Girl Walking” back here as well. Although having said that. I kinda hope that you did burn and/or drown that dvd. That was....a, ah, disturbing, four and a half minutes to say the least.

Evie (experiencing highly vivid and highly disturbing, flashbacks): yup.

Persey: but you cannot deny that Ben rocked that plaid skirt

Evie (who’s the one that had to dress Ben for that incredibly harrowing performance): nope. No he did not

Persey: each to their own I guess.

Evie: did you follow me in here.

Persey: well. Yeah

Evie: why?

Persey: bad news. Mal’s missing. Good news. Harry’s dead

Evie: so?

Persey: “so”? That’s all you can say? “So”? Our sister’s missing and all you can say is “so”?

Evie: well, yeah, I mean, I’m not my sisters keeper, am I?

Persey: no, but

Evie: good. Now I’m going to find Doug and then I’m going to go to Arendelle and check on Dizzy. I’m washing my hands of this whole fucking affair.

Persey: you can’t just walk away when your family needs you.

Evie: you are not my family

Persey: but Mal is

Evie (derisively): Hah! Some family. She insults me. She beats me to a pulp because I refuse to let your slut of a father into my life. And to top it all off. She’s banned me from designing her wedding dress.

Persey: is that what this boils down to? You being pissed because Mal won’t let you control her?

Evie: that girl needs to be controlled okay? She needs to be told what wear, what to eat, how to behave or she’ll make a kess of herself and my good name.

Persey: tell me. At what point do you plan to lock her up in your attic and only let her out to clean your kitchen?

Evie: what?

Persey: you’re sounding like your mother, dearie.

Evie: I am nothing like Grimhilde. I’m a great mother to Dizzy.

Persey: wasn’t talking about Dizzy. You have, at best, an underlying, residual, inferiority complex towards Mal so you’re trying to model her into what you think a queen should be. Or at worst. You’re taking your anger at your mother out on Mal. And Mal really does not deserve that.

Evie: screw you.

Persey: okay. You know what? I’ve tried to be nice. I’ve tried to be cruel. I’ve tried to be a sibling. And now I’ve only one recourse left.

Evie: which is?

Persey: teaching.

(They grab Evie’s arm and drag her back to the throne room. Once there. They construct a pilots wheel at the western railing)

Persey: stand over there

Evie: why?

Persey: because your Teaching Aid has asked you to. Now go.

Evie: I never liked you

Persey: feelings mutual. Now go.

Evie: what is this?

Persey: a pilots wheel.

Evie: who for?

Persey: you. You’re gonna pilot Olympus into the battle zone.

Persephone: um. Sweetheart. I’m not entirely sure about this

Persey: don’t worry. I know what I’m doing.

Evie: why me?

Persey: you’re in desperate need to control something. So why not a heavenly kingdom? Don’t fret none though. I’ll talk you through it.

Evie: oh really?

Persey: really?

(This is when “road to paradise” happens. After the song. Evie looks unimpressed)

Evie: well that’s all well and good. But just in case you’ve forgotten. I don’t know how to fly myself. Least of all pilot a fucking kingdom.

Persey: ah but you piloted the Hawkins Surfer up here didn’t you?

Evie: then it crapped out because of the Failsafe and you had to save me from plummeting to my death.

Persey: alright let’s try it a different way then. What’s your goal?

Evie: my what?

Persey: you survive all this. What do see yourself doing tomorrow night?

Evie (eyes closed and a smile forming on her face): Doug. I’m in dougs office and we’re going over our accounts for the month.

Persey: good. Good. Now you keep picturing that. And you lot. With me. We’ve got work to do

(This is when “immortals” happens. After the song. Evie looks like she’s about commit quadruple familicide)

Evie: let me go now or you’ll meet the same fate as ZEUS!!!!

Persey: yeah yeah yeah whatever. You need to focus.

Evie: on what exactly.

Persey: anything. What you hate. Who you love. Anything that will permit you to tune into Olympus and help you fly it.

Evie: I’ve already told you before. I don’t believe in any of this bullshit.

(Fed up with Evie’s stubbornness, Persey unstraps from their throne and marches over to their sister)

Persey (their hair slowly igniting in electric grey flames): and I’ve already told before. That this isn’t about you and I don’t give a shit what you want. You are not the important one here. Mal is. So stand there, shut up and just DO WHAT I FUCKING WELL TELL YOU TO DO!!!!

(The flames disappear from their head)

Persey: sorry about that. You’re just. Really difficult sometimes.

Persephone: um. May I try?

Persey: be my guest mother.

(Persephone unstraps from her throne and walks over to Evie as Persey goes and straps themself back in)

Persephone: look. I know you hate us. I know you’re in this “woe is me, I’m the world’s punching bag” phase of your life. It happens. Persey was the same. And I’m sorry sweetheart, you are capable of many things, but pulling off the bald look is not one of them.

Persey: hm. Fair.

Persephone: but Evie. I was like you way back when. I had an overbearing, and abusive, mother myself.

Evie: where is she now?

Persephone: locked up in the dungeon and unconscious. I MAY have knocked her out with a chloroformed pillow.

Evie: yeah that tracks.

Persephone: plus. I also know about you and Chad

Evie: WHAT?!?!

Persephone: don’t blame your sibling. I was at family day.

Evie: oh.

Persephone: the point is. You are not your mother. You are not your first relationship. You have Doug. You have Dizzy. You have us if you let us. You don’t have to keep your past with you. Pain doesn’t make you strong honey. It just makes you hurt.

Evie (voice breaking slightly): what if I can’t though? What if I can’t let go of what my mother put me through and how that rat bastard dropped me like stone.

Persephone: that’s okay too. But just remember. Grimhilde is dead. Chad is locked up forever. You have a loving family and a thriving business. They. Have. Nothing.

Evie: I’m listening.

(This is when “set it all free” happens. After the song. The screen goes black. Then fizzes back to life to show Audreficent on every single screen in Auradon)

Audreficent: good evening Auradon. As you may have guessed by now. My daughter, Maleficent Bertha, had been done away with by yours truly. I am victorious. But not harsh. Therefore. I shall give you all, let’s say, 72 hours to surrender and pledge your undying loyalty to me. Failure to do so will result in my felling of every single man, woman and child across all kingdoms. I trust you will make the right decision. Have a pleasant evening.

(The screen fizzes back to black. Then opens again on the partially ruined museum where Doug has heard Audreficent’s message and is doing some calculations on his personal calculator, computer and phone)

Doug: ah Fuck!

(Something starts whistling above his head. He looks up to see what looks like twin comets falling straight towards him. Doug instinctively uses his magic to guide them gently to the ground)

Doug: what the hell are you two doing here?

Hadie (springing back up): WHOAH! Head rush!

Doug: yeah. Plummeting from the sky will do they to you. Is Gil okay?

Gil (deliriously): I am the starlight!

Doug: concussion. At least it’s manageable. All I gotta do is keep him awake until we can get him to Ella. Where’d you find him?

Hadie: falling. I have bad news.

Doug: Mal’s missing. Presumed dead.

Hadie: shit she’s dead? I thought she was just missing?

Doug: I don’t know. Possibly. I ran the numbers. There’s like a 99.9999999999% chance that Maleficent isn’t talking out of her ass. And if she isn’t. Then we’re in trouble.

Hadie: how so?

Doug: because, O Oneness, I know Ben and Mal. Those two are so codependently enteined within that they’d make the Winchester brothers look like Peg and Al Bundy. When they’re separated one is inconsolable and the other is unstoppable.

Hadie: oh that can’t be true.

Doug: oh but it is. You weren’t there last year. Ben was. Terrifying when Mal went back to the isle. And that was before we found out he had her magic. If there’s even the slightest chance that he thinks she’s in danger, or worse, dead. We are on. Our. Own. It doesn’t matter that I’m his regent. We’re dead

Gil (slurring his words): We’re dead. We’redeadwe’redeadwe’redead.

Doug: exactly. Stay there. I need to examine you.

Hadie: oh c’mon Douggie

Doug: don’t call me that.

Hadie: sorry Mr, uh....

Doug: Greenman

Hadie: Mr Greenman. What we need is a plan. And word round these parts is. You’re the idea guy. You know. Besides Carlos. What would we do if we wanted to give out a sign of rebellion to the old hag?

Doug: you’d probably have to burn something. Something big. Like the museum. And make an image of her corpse out of the flames or something. Gil. Please sit still. I can’t get an accurate count of your injuries if you keep moving about

Gil (voice wavering): sorry

Doug: that’s okay buddy. Just please help me help you? Okay?

Gil (sleepily): okay....

Doug (lightly shaking Gil’s shoulder): nope. None of that. You need to stay awake.

Hadie: c’mon Mr Greenman. Don’t be so....defeaty.

Doug: do you you mean defeatist?

Hadie: supposably. Anyhoo. Listen.

(This is when “hero is my middle name” happens. After the song. Doug turns to Hadie)

Doug: take Gil back to the palace. Tell Ella that he’s got a concussion and needs an ice pack and a 48 hour hold. I’ll take it from here.

(Hadie teleports back to the place with Gil. Doug summons back the cauldron corpses)

Doug: anything to report?

(Grimhilde rasps out some barely understandable words)

Doug: okay. Good. Jay and Carlos are safe. That’s good. What about Lonnie and Jane?

(Shan Yu rasps out some barely understandable words)

Doug: thank Christ for that. Alright. Try to get out of the barrier. If you do. Look for Mal. I have a feeling she might be in the Trench somewhere. Either way. Report back to me in an hour. Disperse.

(The corpses leave. As soon as they do. Doug here’s voiced approaching him and turns himself invisible)

Ursula: all I’m saying is. Maybe don’t put all your caviar on one plate quite yet. She’s already come back from the dead once. She might do so again

Audreficent: this is where you are wrong my dear. I have won. Auradon is mine. They will all bow down to me. Or they shall die. And do not ever. Try to rein me in again because you will not like the consequences.

(At this point Doug gets a very malicious idea)

Doug (still invisible and disguising his voice): that’s what you think.

Audreficent: who is that?

Doug (slowly and smugly): you can call me....your conscience. I wouldn’t expect you to remember me after all. It has been 2217 years. But nevertheless. I am telling you now. Put. An. End. To. It. Because you are not going to like the outcome.

Audreficent: and why would that be?

Doug: because it’s happening again isn’t it? She’s fighting you from the inside. You can’t keep a hero down.

Audreficent: I will not be swayed by a disembodied voice. Reveal yourself and I may be persuaded to listen to you.

Doug (inching toward with a bronze stake): not a chance.

Audreficent: why ever not?

Doug: because

(He drives the stake into the back of her neck)

Audreficent: AAAAUUUURRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!

Doug: I said so.

Ursula: WHO ARE YOU?!?!

Doug: like I said. Her conscience. And I don’t see why you’re defending her anyway. It’s not like you have a card in the game anymore. Not if she wins. Her grand plan. Has never included anyone but herself. And Diablo. You’re just a conduit. Your ex-highness

(He slowly and agonisingly removes the stake from Audreficent’s neck and teleports away)

Ursula: is it true?

Audreficent: of course it is true. When I am coronated. You, and all of your little aquatic denizens, will be first on the menu.

Ursula: I won’t let that happen. They’re mine. Not yours

Audreficent: I would NOT place a bet on that if I were you.

(Audreficent turns heel and stalks off. This prompts Ursula to use magic to attack them from behind)

Audreficent (invigorated by this turn of events): OH! Ohoho. Now we are getting somewhere. Come on then! Let rip! I know you want to! CRY HAVOCK!!!! AND LET LOOSE THE DOGS OF WAR!!!!

(Ursula and Audreficent scream at each other and send streams of fury laden magic at each other’s faces which meet in the middle. This is when “poor unfortunate souls” happens. After the song. Audreficent uses her magic to punt Ursula into the stratosphere. She walks away, laughing, until black electricity traverses about her body causing her to crumple to the ground)

Audreficent: AUGH!!!! What is HAPPENING TO ME?!?!

Doug (teleporting back in but still invisible): you’re breaking down again. Humans cannot contain you. Chad failed. Audrey’s failing. You will fail. Mal will win. It is inevitable.

Audreficent: I refuse

Doug: there’s nothing you can do about it. Mal wil win. Mal will ALWAYS win

Audreficent: not if I can help it

(She teleports away. Once he’s sure she’s gone. Doug makes himself visible again)

Doug: that should by us some time. Now all I gotta do is keep the fire going and-oh good god what’s that?

(A giant marbled Thing is headed straight towards him. He jumps out the way just in time for it land, slightly clumsily, in the middle of the street)

Evie (popping out from behind the railing): hey honey!

Doug (completely flabbergasted and absolutely overjoyed): EVIE!!!!

(Inside Olympus)

Doug (completely and utterly amazed): I can’t believe I’m standing here right now. This is amazing. You. You are amazing.

Evie (immensely flattered): ah stop it. You’ll give me a big head

Doug: you deserve it. You piloted this entire place here by yourself. How’d you do it?

Evie: I had some encouragement from the extended family

Doug: Persey trapped you at the wheel didn’t they?

Evie: among other things yes.

Doug: that’s okay. I’ll call them out for it later. So. What’s the plan?

Evie: I was actually going to ask you about that. My plan was getting here and finding you

Doug: ah. Right. So. Um. Oh this is new. I don’t have have an idea. Why don’t I have an idea?

Evie: hey. It happens. It’s been a really intense 24 hours. You can’t be expected to keep running at full speed all the time. It’s okay to slow down.

Doug: yeah. Yeah. You’re right. And amazing. As always.

Evie: I try.

Doug: you exceed. C’mere.

(He pulls her close and they start slow dancing. This is when “ma belle Evangeline” happens. After the song. Evie squeaks)

Evie: oh my god

Doug: what is it? What’s wrong?

Evie: I have an idea.

Doug: then lead the way meine liebe.

(Back at the museum. Evie and Doug blast through what’s left of the doors, their hands ablaze with magic)

Evie: Higitus figitus zumbakazing.

Doug: We want your attention, everything.

(Immediately, every ruined object in the museum turns to look at them. This is when “all that jazz” happens. After the song. They hear an ambulance pull up to the destroyed museum)

Doug: aunt snow?

Snow White (climbing out of the ambulance): DOUGGIE!!!!

(She rushes to hug him)

Florian: hey Doug.

Doug: hey uncle Ian

Evie: woah, woah, wait. Isn’t Ben’s middle name Florian?

Florian: yup. First prince of the new regime named for the first prince of the old regime.

Evie: how old are you two?

Florian: 86.

Evie: heh?

Snow: don’t confuse the poor dear. We’re 37. Oh thank goodness. Here’re the others

Tarzan (swinging from what’s left of the telephone poles): WAHOOO!!!!

Jane: I am so sorry about this. He’s always like this when we leave the Basin.

Evie: Lord Greystoke. Lady Greystoke.

Doug: how’s Olaf?

Jane: he’s fine. He might be allergic to bananas. But he’s fine. My father’s looking into it.

Snow: where’s Mowgli?

Tarzan: Terk and Tantor.

Snow: ohhhh

Evie (her eyes as wide as dinner plates): ummmm. Doug.

Doug (knowing exactly what Evie was going to ask him): no. Forever and always. No.

Evie: worth a try.

Doug: always is.

Mowlgli (on Tantor’s back): WHOOHOO!!!!

Shanti (clinging onto Mowgli for dear life): AAAAHHHH!!!!

Evie: so Shanti hasn’t changed then.

Doug: nope. Now. Before I forget. Why are you all here?

Tarzan: is he in there?

Doug: Clayton? No. He’s probably in the forest unless Maleficent’s eaten him. Why do you ask?

Snow: we’re here to help. Ian’s driving the field ambulance. I’m fending off assailants with this nifty ray gun I’ve found. And Tarzan, Jane, Mowgli and Shanti have brought you some extra steeds for the cavalry

Doug: I’m sorry. You kinda lost me after RAY GUN?!?!

Mowgli: what’s cooking?

Evie: m-marble. Why?

Mowgli (walking up the museum steps): it smells like chicken. Or trout.

(He’s followed into the museum by Shanti, Tarzan and Jane)

Evie: uh. 🎶Doug🎶. Little problem here

Doug: -you’ve never even practiced archery. Neither of you can drive. What makes you think you can-Jesus Christ!

(He and Evie hurry into the museum)

Evie: why are they acting like this?

Doug: my best guess is midnight madness.

(At the remains of the information desk, Shanti is nursing a mulled mead, Tarzan and Mowgli and having a drinking competition and Jane is timing them)

Doug: what the HELL is going on here?

Shanti: nerves

Tarzan and Mowgli: drinking competition

Jane: refereeing.

Doug: why?

Mowgli: worlds ending

Tarzan: I’m thirsty.

Shanti: it’s the worst time of my life.

Jane: I was waiting for you dear.

Doug: right. Well. Um. Evie, sweetheart, wanna help me out here?

Evie: sure. Um. Stop drinking. Get kindling. We need to keep this fire going so Maleficent knows we can’t be beaten

Mowgli: oh do we have to?

Doug: yes! Go! Now!

Tarzan: what if we don’t want to?

Evie: You don’t have a choice. We’re in charge here. Not you.

Jane: Tarzan, sweetheart, please, do what they say.

Doug: leave them to me. I’ll convince them to get their heads out of their asses.

Evie: do you two have magic?

Shanti: yes. Your sisters spell got to us as well.

Evie: then you can help me with the fire. Good luck doug.

Doug: I’m gonna need it.

(Evie, Jane and Shanti leave)

Doug: alright Gentlemen. You’re in my house now

(This is when “burn it to the ground” happens. After the song. Snow White and Florian are waiting by the ambulance when they see Tarzan and Mowgli sail out of the museum doors)

Florian: we did tell you not to piss him off.

Mowgli: I’m not so good with following orders

Tarzan: neither am I.

Snow: get in the ambulance. I’ll patch you up. ARGH!

(She doubles over in pain and covers her ears. Everyone else inside and outside the museum follows suit as the fire, and the signal of rebellion, covering the museum is expunged)

Audreficent (in voiceover): I know you think you are smart my boy. I know you think that you have me beat. But that is beyond the realm of your capabilities. Auradon, you now have 48 hours. I strongly urge that you make the correct decision. Choose wisely. Goodbye.

(Doug rushes out of the museum)

Snow: it’s okay. We’re okay. We’re all okay. It’s going to be okay. You’ve got this. We know you do.

(Doug, looking crushed, nods, rushes back into the museum and kicks a stone bench into the far wall)

Evie: are your godparents okay?

Doug: yes. Yes. Um. The fires not going to work. We need to change course.

Evie: right. Uhhhh. Okay. So. OOHH. Intercom!

Shanti: interwhat?

Evie: we can send a message to the populace. Auradon. The forest. The bridge. The evac points. We can talk to them. You can talk to them.

Doug: okay. Um. Isn’t it destroyed though?

Evie (conjuring a new intercom device out of thin air): not anymore.

Doug: brilliant. Help me set it up?

Evie: course.

(Ten minutes, a little bit of magic, a few mild electric shocks and several very vulgar swear words later. Doug is ready to address the nation)

Doug: alright. I don’t know if you can hear this but. Mal is missing. Ben’s probably gone off to find her. Which means I’m in charge. And my official line on the current issue is. Don’t make it easy. Maleficent thinks she’s got us cornered. But she doesn’t. Don’t let her think that she does. Kick up a fuss. Fight harder than you ever have before. Don’t back down. Don’t surrender. Fuck them all up.

(This is when “riot” happens. After the song. The screen switches to a pitch black void. Floodlight’s activate in a strip down the middle of the ceiling illuminating Audrey curled up behind a woven steel door. Maleficent phases in and opens the door)

Audrey: what do you want?

Maleficent: your friends seem to be tougher than I previously thought.

Audrey: so?

Maleficent: well. Since it seems that I may lose. I have decided to let you go?

Audrey (perking up): really?

Maleficent: yes. Really. Off you pop. I shall be leaving you momentarily.

(Audrey rushes out of the cage)

Maleficent: however.

(Audrey stops dead in her tracks)

Maleficent: that is if, and only if, you can stand against me and my pretty little shades

Audrey: what!

Maleficent (slowly advancing on Audrey): run princess. Run. For your. Life!

(Audrey hightails it down the void with Maleficent in hot pursuit. This is when “killer in the mirror” happens. After the song. Maleficent makes the crucifix fall backwards into the void before it lands and shatters into several trillion pieces)

Audrey: owwww

A disembodied voice: you could get out of here you know.

Audrey: what? Who is it? Who’s there?

(Her father steps out of the darkness)

Phillip: hello Rosie.

Audrey: papa. How’re you here?

Phillip: I’m not. I’m in here.

(He taps Audrey’s left temple)

Phillip: we are in your brain after all.

Mal: he’s right you know.

Ben: it’s all happening inside your ole noggin.

Audrey: why are you two here?

Mal: Mal cast a spell. All her Allies have magic now. Including you.

Phillip: usually your subconscious takes the form of your base desires, your realism and your hyper altruism. Id. Ego. Superego. However. You’re alone. You hate yourself. And you’re terrified. So. I represent your sense of familiarity

Ben: I’m your regret.

Mal: and I’m your self hatred.

Audrey: yeah that makes sense. Are you gonna help me get out of this.

Phillip: no.

Audrey: ah jeez.

Ben: there is no escape until Maleficent either frees you or kills you.

Audrey: how do you know that?

Mal: because deep down. You do. You know there’s only two ways to get out of this.

Audrey: so why are you here? Why did you say there was a way out of this if there isn’t?

Phillip: it was a good opening line.

Audrey: of course.

Phillip: do you remember the song your father used to sing to you before bed until you “grew out of it”?

Audrey: yes.

Phillip: would you like me to sing it now?

Audrey: please?

(This is when “ruby blue” happens)

[katierosefun]

the hilarious thing about my mom is that she’s almost never disappointed in me. she’s not perfect, but she’s mostly always been more concerned with my happiness instead of my achievements. 

so imagine my surprise when i tell her i have not, in fact, ever watched the classic korean drama the coffee prince, and she makes the most disappointed, shocked sound, and goes, “YOU HAVEN’T WATCHED THE COFFEE PRINCE? THE CLASSIC OF KOREAN DRAMAS? MY OWN DAUGHTER?”

anyways, my homework is now to watch the coffee prince in the span of two weeks.

[c-is-for-circinate]

Like, is the gist "Real life pedophilia/incest/rape is bad, and stories saying these things are good are bad, but including these topics in a story isn't inherently bad, so the people being like 'hey, maybe Ao3 shouldn't have so much kiddie porn there's an entire category called "Underage"' are just overreacting and making things worse?" Because it feels like you're saying, "your negative reaction to this stuff is valid, but also you're annoying and prudish and bad and really you aren't valid."

So here’s the thing: it really does not sound like you're asking this question because you want my answer, it sounds like you want to be angry with me and have a fight. And fair enough! I'm not terribly interested in a fight, but apparently this is my day to dive into this topic as thoughtfully and honestly as I can be. Maybe I'll say something you haven't already heard from other people before. Maybe not! Only you, anonymous asker, know that.

To begin with, you got part of the gist right. Real life rape (including child abuse/child sexual abuse as well as incest) is bad. Stories about rape, about underage sex, and about incest, are stories.

They're stories. They're pixels on a screen. They're not real. Whether they claim that rape is good, or bad, or sexy, or melodramatic, or life-destroying, or a normal Tuesday afternoon. They're stories.

And having a negative reaction to them is valid. Stories can stir up powerful emotions in people. It is absolutely, 100%, fair and valid and even normal for there to be certain tropes, plot elements, events, and kinds of content that make you upset and that you never want to see in a story you read, ever. You don't have to want to read about sex. You don't have to want to read any of it. That doesn't make you bad.

There are tropes, plot elements, events, and kinds of content that upset me. There are stories I won't read. The same is true of literally everyone else I know. Even though I know the stories aren't real. Even though I know the things happening in them are happening to fictional characters, who do not exist, who I cannot protect and who also cannot be harmed because they're not real. Even then, I can be made sad and scared and upset and hurt by reading those stories. And that is okay and that is valid and I am not bad or wrong for being upset about the story I've read, and neither are you.

But that doesn't mean the story doesn't have value to somebody else. That doesn't mean the story isn't important to somebody else.

What I see most often coming from antis, possibly even including yourself, is an overwhelming desire to protect. They want to keep themselves and others--possibly people they know, possibly hypothetical people they may never meet--safe from being hurt by these stories. And that desire to protect, also, is normal. It's even admirable! The problem, though, the thing that does more harm than good, is when that desire to protect drives people to lash out against things that matter to other people.

There is a difference between actual rape and stories about rape. There is a difference between a story that could theoretically hurt somebody, someday (which is all stories, always), and a story that hurts you personally. And there is a difference between a story that hurts you personally, and a story that is inherently poisonous to everyone who touches it.

We know--absolutely, scientifically, incontrovertibly--that stories about rape do not make people rapists. Yes, even the stories where the rape is there to be sexy. Even stories where the person being raped is a child. Even then. Fiction is not the same thing as normalization; again, there are far smarter people who have written far more extensively on that topic than I, and next time I come across something that goes more into detail on this point I promise I will reblog it. If this really is the thing you're afraid of, I may not be the right person to convince you that this is an unfounded fear, but I know someone out there can elaborate on it.

(Unfounded, which is not the same thing as invalid. My mother's claustrophobia is unfounded; it flares up in many situations where there's no physical threat whatsoever, where she has plenty of space to move and air to breathe. It's still real. It still chokes her. It's still valid, she is not bad or broken to feel that way, and she still can't drive through certain tunnels. The fear is real. But the thing she's afraid of can't physically hurt her, and that is worth knowing in terms of how she deals with it.)

We know, absolutely, scientifically, and incontrovertibly, that stories about rape and many, many, many other things can hurt and even traumatize their readers. Even though the situation you're reacting to is not real and you receive no physical injury, you can still be hurt by it. The key word there, though, is readers. The fact that the horror genre is out there terrifying people who enjoy being terrified for fun does not damage me unless I do something stupid and try listening to the Magnus Archives again and end up tense and miserable and paranoid for the rest of the week. The fact that guacamole is apparently delicious to everybody else in the world does not hurt me unless I do something stupid and order the wrong thing at a restaurant, and end up itchy and miserable with a little trouble breathing for the rest of the night.

The fact that there are, yes, tens of thousands of fics on AO3 in which characters under the age of 18 have sex? It can't hurt you. Those fics do not hurt you by existing. They can only hurt you if you read them. They can only hurt anyone who reads them. That's why there is an 'Underage' tag--and it's worth noting, 'Underage' is a warning, not a category. Nobody wants you to get hurt reading the wrong fic, any more than the sushi chef wants my throat to swell up because I ordered something with avocado. Literally nobody wants that.

The flip side, of course, is that you hating each and every one of those fics individually and as a group doesn't actually hurt me, or anyone else who writes, reads, or enjoys them. By itself. You can hate anything you like, and fic writers can write anything they like, and it all comes out in the end, more or less. Except.

Except that reading fic is always, entirely, 100% opt-in, and online harassment isn't even opt-out. Some antis have a nasty habit of going after writers whose content they don't like; climbing into inboxes and comments sections, calling those writers nasty names, throwing around cruelties and aggression and insults. I know that's not the same thing as simply disliking a genre, or even passively disagreeing with its existence (although disliking a genre and disagreeing with its right to exist are also very different things). I know not all antis do that. I don't know you, anon, but based on the speed and aggressiveness of this response to my last post, I can't help but wonder if you would do that.

And that does hurt people. Just like it might hurt you if someone threw a bunch of content that makes you uncomfortable into your inbox. Including the harasser, actually--because getting into fights with strangers on the internet about things that make you angry, sad, defensive, and upset isn't good for anybody. Including both you and me.

Anyway, after yet another lengthy ramble, let's get the tl;dr response to your ask here: nobody is ever bad or wrong for disliking certain content in their stories, no matter what that content is. You and your emotions are valid. The "overreacting and making things worse" part isn't about what you feel, but what you do with it. Constantly engaging with places where the thing that upsets you will probably show up, even to argue and try to fight it, will make things worse in the sense that now you're spending way more time thinking about this thing that makes you upset and angry, thereby leaving you more upset and angry. Getting together with a bunch of your upset, angry friends to make your feelings everybody else's problem? Makes fandom a more toxic place for everyone else involved.

Don't read stuff that's going to hurt you. Don't make other people read stuff that's going to hurt them. That's the whole thing, really.

[leviiattacks]

May I request a Levi x Reader angst fic? Just barely any fluff, mostly angst going on lol. The reader is a traitor, formaly working for Marley, but betraying them in secret and putting their loyalty on Paradis. The reader is also a shifter and married to Levi for a couple of years. That love and care however is gone once readers identity is found. He truly despises them, insults them, maybe a bit violent with them, and outright tells them that they mean nothing to him anymore and hate them to bits. Readers punishment is to hand over her titan to Erwin, and they agree instantly, broken over everything, believing its all their fault. Once Erwin inherits Readers titan, he breaks down and screams, crying, because Reader was innocent the whole time. They never betrayed Paradis. Never killed anyone, never harmed anyone. They finaly know why they betrayed Marley, the abuse being to much for them, enough to just leave them behind for Paradis. Just... loving and caring as they all saw them. But now the damage is done. They wont come back, they're dead, believing that they died, hated and despised, with no one to mourn their death. Everyone regrets everything.

author note :: i was thinking of leaving this in my drafts but i already wrote it and may as well post it. it didn’t end up going the way i hoped but yeah i hope it’s ok anon. anyways ANGST. ANGST, ANGST. as always i love feed back :-) ⟹ all of the headings with the years are just meant to mean it’s a different moment from that year so those moments don’t happen right after each other i hope that makes sense!! word count :: 7.2k warnings :: canon typical violence, death

845, i.

Everything is falling in place when it shouldn't.

Sun never makes itself known in Liberio yet here it is shining down onto the bustling streets. You half expect for it to crash down and burn into the hundreds of civilians going about their daily business yet nothing of the sort happens. It's typical sunlight and you curse yourself silently for your sinister thoughts.

Secretly the voice at the back of your mind still whispers frantically but you don't wish to hear what it has to say. Instead you choose to drown it out with the sound of Zeke's voice. Finally deciding to pay attention to what it is he's been droning on about for the past ten minutes.

"Soon, soon, soon." He sighs dreamily looking a little delirious.

"Soon?"

Your question catches him off guard, he lightly shoves you with his elbow scoffing in annoyance.

"Did you sit here to not even listen to me?" He turns to take a sip of whisky and the hearty gulp he chugs shows his mild irritation. You assume he's been rambling on about Marley's plan to infiltrate Paradis. You have to admit that the idea of destroying those demons from the inside is amazingly well thought out. However it's all he's been able to discuss for the entire week now and frankly you're getting a little exhausted of it.

"I zoned out..." Quietly placing your glass back down onto the wooden counter you sigh closing your eyes. It's too early to be drinking and you don't trust Zeke enough to slip into ignorance and leave yourself vulnerable. Men are to not be trusted, especially Eldian men. The thought of Eldians triggers your flight of fight response, you want to shrivel up into a cocoon and never come out until the world is rid of the monsters. The lowest of the low, the dirt in between the crevices of Marleyan soldier's boots. That is what Eldian's are.

It's ironic coming from you, your entire family labelled as undesirable Eldians yourself but you, you know you're different. An honorary Marleyan is what you will become. What you are. The treacherous imps who are but an ocean away are the true evil.

Eyes flicking to Zeke he's lighting a cigar. Old habits die hard and he's yet to quit this self destructive custom of his. You couldn't care less if he chooses to cut his lifespan short by ten years, it's his own choice to make. A disgusting cowardly choice but it's a choice fit for an untamed man like him.

The Island Devils are said to be the bad apples but you can't help but stare at your fellow citizens from time to time and wonder what it is they could be hiding. If a demon slipped through the cracks you wouldn't be surprised. Sly in nature, persuasive in tone, that is how devils go about their daily lives alone The hymns they drilled into you all the way through elementary school echo and rebound in your mind.

Locking your bitter thoughts away you have to push yourself to not punt Zeke in the mouth when he teasingly blows a puff of hot smoke into your face.

Fingertips grazing with his he freezes at the sudden contact giving you the perfect opportunity to slip his cigar away and take it in between your lips. You allow for it to linger there but you aren't foolish enough to inhale its contents.

"Zeke, my dear friend. We shall soon be met with the fruits of our own labour but I assure you that discussing Marley's plan constantly will be of no benefit for you nor I."

The day you and Zeke had met had been at warrior training camp. Zeke was a miserable, unmotivated oaf. Always tripping and falling behind the rest of the warrior cadets. You felt rather bad for him, if you were born as unskilled as him you don't know what you would have made of yourself. Zeke, the only child of his parents ironically only ever ended up rising through the ranks after handing them over to the Marleyan government. His father and mother had been conspiring an escape plan but were executed immediately alongside their fellow team members once Zeke had outted them. Unexpectedly he was spared, the fact he turned on his own parents showed where his loyalties were. To his surprise, he was even allowed to continue his training with the other warriors - only this time everyone kept an increased distance away from him. The warriors weren't informed of what he had actually done but everyone had a gut feeling. Everyone apart from you stuck with that feeling. You thought strategically, If he were to become an enemy in the future you knew being close would come at your advantage.

The day you and Zeke had met your mother died, his mother passed away the same day. At least that's what he had told you.

The two of you bonded over the little things, told each other stories about your life at home. Reminisced about what it was you missed.

Then it all came crashing down the day Zeke confessed. The day he told you he killed his mother and father by handing them over to Marley. Your knees buckled underneath you, crashing the floor he tried to grab at you but you thrashed around in retaliation kicking and screaming not understanding why he did what he did. Yes, they were traitors but they were his parents and if the monster had the nerve to turn on the people who gave birth to him who's to say he wouldn't do the same to you or to Marley.

Zeke doesn't know it but ever since then you take the opportunity to sneak the occasional glance at him. Every single time you narrow your eyes in malice. If there's a man in Liberio who you don't trust in the slightest it's him, he must think the feud between the two of you from childhood has been put at rest but it hasn't.

Zeke takes another swig of his alcohol. On this occasion he downs it entirely slamming the glass down with vigour.

"ONE MORE GLASS BARTENDER!"

846, i.

Another day of extensive training is about to end, your back is layered in uncomfortable layers of sweat and the same can be said for your forehead. Kneeling down in the under layer of the forest you're hidden waiting to strike. Going up against the elites is nerve-wracking but you're sure you can pull it off so long as you stay calm during this game of hunters against prey.

It's simple enough if you can conceal yourself and stay out of sight. The robust trees that surround you act as decent enough camouflage and your green cape paired with them lets you veil yourself, keeping you further into the foreground, blending into the environment.

No one will be able to catch you if they can't see you.

All of a sudden your previous thoughts are thrown away when you sense something in the atmosphere has changed, the hissing of the wind behind you isn't natural.

Turning to your side you don't bother to cover up the sound of leaves rustling and branches cracking, your priority is slipping away fast enough to hide again, a tug can be felt at your cloak and your reaction time barely covers for you, your gear fastens itself to a low enough tree branch and the descent is mind numbing. Your breakfast churns in your stomach but you ignore the uneasy feeling, leaping and diving wherever you find a small enough gap. You believe you can outrun your huntsman.

That is until you sneak a glance back and your muscles nearly tense up in pure astonishment, you've been kicked in the teeth just by the man's presence. Captain, Levi slinks behind you weaving through the gaps with increasing speed, he's gaining momentum and all the while his face stays relaxed, this isn't even his full effort.

Terrified you dart upwards and then left, a corner comes into view - Levi should assume you've turned into it and so you rashly choose to dart back down. Much to your hard luck you find that his senses are well adapted, the direction of the wind is enough for him to trace your whereabouts.

The pursuit resumes, and he stays disturbingly relentless.

Arm shooting to the right you think perhaps making it look like you're aiming to fly somewhere else again will completely catch him off guard, he can't expect for you to pull the same trick twice.

Setting your plan into motion your finger pulls at the trigger but you startle when the cable doesn't come out, it's jammed. Panic seeps into you and to make matters worse your gas is running out.

Without warning you're thrust into the body of a nearby tree, the bark scrapes against you and scratches begin to form anywhere you've made contact with the jagged surface, you want to admit defeat but the warrior inside of you denies Levi the pleasure of seeing you beg. In its place you deliver a harsh kick to his thigh, you're aware he's injured it and you're certain there are no rules to say you can't play dirty. Your boots hammer against leg hard enough for him to give out and let go of your body, but then you realize you lost this game from the very moment your grapple hooks broke, you have nowhere to hold onto.

Before you can even let out a shriek of horror Levi's shot back to you, he frantically accelerates and by a miracle humanity's strongest is able to grab a hold of you again. This time you don't dig your heels into his leg and you allow for him to clutch you by the torso.

Within a minute the two of you descend towards the forest floor and Levi throws you into the dirt furiously.

"You could have died. Being foolhardy will only lead to an early death." He barks as he directs his blade towards your neck.

"Am I dead yet?" Whispering back your gaze isn't trained on the blade but right up at him.

His nostrils flare up, his hair sticks to his forehead haphazardly and the knuckles that hold his pointed blades are white in tangled dissatisfaction.

Grabbing you by the hips he flings you over his shoulder choosing to not continue with the confrontation.

"I know what you're up to." His voice is still rugged from the pursuit and it takes you a split second to register what he's said.

Your eyes widen and your breath hitches in your throat, no way, there's no way in hell he knows. He's sharp but he's not a mind reader.

Your position means he can't read your face seeing as you're facing his back, instantly steeling your features you let out a breathy laugh.

"And what may that be?" Silently you pray he's worded himself ambiguously to catch a slip up.

"Being gutsy, you think that makes you a good soldier. It doesn't."

Relief floods you. He doesn't know.

"Soldiers need to be brave." Your retort makes him grumble.

"If  you die with no meaning by being reckless what's the purpose of being a soldier?" His question has you stopping and thinking on what the correct answer is.

Unable to think of an answer you ask another question.

"Are you saying your previous comrades died without meaning?"

"No. Their deaths fueled me slay more titans."

"So if I died back there who wou-" He swiftly cuts you off showing no inclination of wanting to hear what it is you have to say.

"I'll cut your tongue off if it's stupid." He clearly isn't serious about the threat but he does mean it when he warns you to not overstep.

Despite the consequences you say what's on your mind. "I just wanted to ask who would give my life meaning if I ever died. I don't have siblings and my parents died long ago."

Silence follows and the crunch of his boots against the muddy leaves tells you he probably doesn't wish to answer your question.

"Sorry-"

"I would. I would give meaning to your life." He says it with such ease you almost want to admire the enemy but you know he's said it because he feels he has to.

"You barely know me but I hope one day you can stop thinking everyone has to rely on you." You say it with taunting understanding.

Another bout of silence follows. Only this time the two of you feel warmly comforted, he doesn't understand how you've seen through his facade but it's easy for you to spot another liar.

846, ii.

Brows drawn back you observe your surroundings attempting to mask your scrutiny. The place is running amok with uncontrollable Eldian folk. The stench of unadulterated sin makes itself known but you seem to be the only person able to smell it. Eren bumps against the table you're sat at and your face twitches a little but you say nothing. You're yet to get used to these people's lack of manners.

At least that's how you force yourself to think. To be truthful, you don't quite understand what it is these people have done wrong. Ever since you've arrived you've been nitpicking at every single minor inconvenience or possible issue. A girl stole a potato and broke it into uneven pieces to share and you attempted to twist the story in your head to make her look like an unfair, greedy voracious demon but... you found yourself finding very little to actually be angry at. These people are essentially normal in every way of the word, they aren't demons and you can't help but feel yourself slip away from everything you once knew as reality. You're finding it difficult to believe what years of Marleyan education taught you, the hymns that were once drilled into your brain permanently are but a vague memory.

You feel disgustingly under-dressed and out of place, you don't belong here not when you're meant to hate these people, not when you're meant to despise them. You should be fighting the urge to shove their heads onto pitchforks or to skin them alive and feed them to pigs. Everyone back in Marley told you to control your impulses but now you're here and you've settled down even having the opportunity to converse with these individuals, share their pain, share their loss, share their suffering, you wonder why you have no impulses to control. Have they brainwashed you? Or is it that you're the real demon in this situation?

Fingers mingling with each other on your lap you sit hopelessly alone. Interacting with the so called enemy is much harder than you expect. Worry consistently bubbles in the pit of your stomach and every night is spent tossing and turning evaluating then reevaluating who the bad guy really is. At first the task of daily interaction isn't a big deal, you find it easy enough to approach members of the team and fake interest in their lives until the original plan falls through. You do become invested in your team members lives and stories that it comes to the point where you don't have to force yourself to smile at their jokes or to sympathize with their tales of grief. You become one of them and you swear you're meant to feel like a traitor but eerily you feel like you belong.

Nevertheless you try your best to stick with what you know. You're nothing like Zeke, you're loyal, capable, faithful and trustworthy. Never will you turn your back on Marley.

Rising to excuse yourself from dinner you think you've just about made it and escaped finally able to hide away in the confines of your bedroom but your lips form into a straight uncomfortable line at the feeling of someone's hand latching at your wrist. You're halfway down the hallway just a few more steps away from your bedroom. You hope it's one of the rookies.

"Oi, come here."

Head shooting backwards your eyes land on Levi, his dark curtains fall in front of his eyes - you note that he hasn't trimmed them as he usually does. Despite his size his grip is firm and your wrist squirms around a little trying to manoeuvre out of his bruising grasp. He seems to notice he's underestimated his strength once again and loosens his hold on you. Narrowed eyes analyse your anxious form, they're grey and in this lighting almost glow appearing silver. For a brief second your mouth is left ajar by the delicate but rough manner of his face.

"Everything Okay?" He doesn't typically seem to care very much about anyone, the question activates your senses and you're on full alert but the eye contact you make with him seconds later slows down the gears in your mind, they only whir and hum in anticipation completely coming to a halt.

"Yes, yes everything is okay." You're playing around with the hem of your shirt and you silently question when you were ever this nervous around anyone. You're a Marleyan soldier for heaven's sake not an unrestrained, unsupervised child left to play in a park.

Despite your clear inability to cushion and shield yourself from your Levi's stabbing gaze you attempt to appear as nonchalant as possible.

"I'll be going I just feel a little —" At first you had thought to fake you were ill but at the feeling of a sudden strike of pain you hold onto your stomach, the ache burns into your abdomen and without permission it travels higher up towards your ribs. "A little unwell." You manage to wheeze out. Hand placed onto a nearby cement wall your thought process is hasty speeding up by the second. Have they figured you out and had you poisoned? No, you barely ate anything today.

You hunch over feeling the bile crawl up your throat, on reflex you clamp your eyes shut not wishing to anger a superior by acting insolent and disposing of your dinner in the hallway. Shaky palms reach hesitantly for your lips and you force yourself to keep it in. Levi would commit a murder if you heaved and gagged letting it all out in front of him.

You motion towards the door trying to emphasize that you can handle yourself in the privacy of your room. Tears bite at the sides of your eyes and your vision is so blurred you can only make out the faint outline of the man who was just in front of you.

"Relax. I'll clean it." Your hair is brushed away from your face securely held back and you can't hold it in any longer, the acrid storm surges through your throat, you retch at the harsh sting it leaves behind. Breathing heavy, perturbed and anxious you gasp in all the air you can get.

"I knew you looked ill." His hands hold your jaw gently, the pads of his fingers are calloused but his touch remains soft. A tissue dabs at your mouth wiping away the excess untouched sick.

Just like the sick which surged through you less than a minute ago you feel something else entirely tear into you. You can't put a finger on it but it's dangerous for you to not feel contempt.

847, i.

Your heart accepts what your mind has been ignoring for months on end when Levi looks you square in the eyes after a heart wrenching expedition. The vacant look on his face is enough for the guilt to consume you whole but he doesn't know that. He doesn't know of your sins.

The wagon of corpses reeks of death and desperation. It's rotten and the smell is sickening. Forcibly you  stop yourself from feeling any more grief. The despair isn't yours to go through.

Your first ever personal loss outside of the walls and you've learnt Paradis is not home to demons. Cheeks burning in mortification you can't formulate any thoughts on your own accord, instead they continuously emerge in bursts and finally a single thought sticks out from the rest - Are you aiding in the destruction of innocent human life?

The both of you are sat on guard duty with the corpses, half of the team has been wiped out in one sweep. Your trembling hands don't seem to want to steady any time soon and you sit there with your guilty conscience strangling you slowly, your airflow is getting shallower. Shorter, quicker breaths leave you. The imaginary gash in your chest is bottomless, and your lungs push and pull in a power struggle.

Levi's coarse hands abruptly hold onto yours and the floodgates open again, he doesn't know what you've done to him, done to his soldiers, done to his people. If he knew who you really were, would things be different?

"This was out of your control."

Do you tell him?

The question sits in your mind for a while until you shake your head. He takes it the wrong way and think you're responding to him.

"This was not your fault." For the first time in months you've heard his voice crack under pressure.

"Pe- Petra she- I could have taken one for the team and died instead of her." All that remains of your dear friend is her blood soaked cloak. Her body was one of the few that had to be hauled away earlier to decrease the carriage's load.

The fabric still smells of Petra, smells of honey and chamomile and the simple soap offered at the base, but it still smells of her.

Firm hands grab your shoulders and Levi's fingers dig sorely into your flesh.

"Don't."

"But I- I didn't contribute as much as her and she has family who are alive." Hiccuping you try to bare with the fact that you'll wake up tomorrow and not see her preparing breakfast for everyone else. You know you could have propelled her out of the way just in time if you hadn't been so taken aback by the entire situation.

"You were her comrade. She made the choice to die for you."

You want to reach out, sob into his chest and yell that you regret it all, scream and tell him about the secret you've been hiding. A sorry excuse of a comrade you are to let her die on the battlefield not knowing your true identity. The tears roll down your cheeks and Levi feels his heart constrict and squeeze as he comprehends the lack of regard you have for your life. "It should have been me." Is repeated over and over again, your eyes are raw and bloodshot, the vicious wind sinks its teeth into you.

"Then die."

"If you're willing for her life to have no meaning. Die." The words he spits out are as cutting as the bitter wind. He feels cheated and you're finally able to come to your senses.

He's faired much worse but you doubt he's ever acted out the way you have in front of another person. In this never-ending void of darkness locking away the dull ache caused by deafening loss is the best choice for everyone.

Much like the night you had been sick he takes a grip of your jaw and directs your face towards his, this time he's not as gentle as before but you conclude that it's because he's drained, completely exhausted from the battle. The eyes are the windows to the soul but Levi's window panes are shattered, completely crushed by the weight of the constant burden he has to carry.

"I'm sorry." You croak out the apology. He grits his teeth because he doesn't want you to apologize but he doesn't voice out his opinion. As a substitute he presses his arms against you, the terribly raw panic is murdering you. Levi's gruff voice is a mixture of faux irritation but mutual understanding.

"Cry." He allows for your head to loll against his shoulder.

As the dark envelopes both you and him the scent of the dead only becomes more and more pungent, recalling fond memories of Petra and the others you know your heart settles on a decision before your mind does. You're a two timing back stabbing traitor for this. What you hated Zeke for you have become yourself.

Disloyal, unfaithful and fickle.

That day you place your loyalties with Paradis.

847, ii.

Levi's wiping down one of the kitchen tables, you're kneeled on the floor scrubbing vigorously. The others have already given up, panting they've left using the excuse of fetching water from a nearby well. Your back aches but you find cleaning reassuring and somewhat of a decent distraction.

"Why do you like to clean?" You're used to Levi asking you abrupt questions by now, after all the two of you have been acquainted for well over a year now. Through that year he's learnt about you and you about him. When in the midst of what looks to be humanity's final year's, twelve simple months is enough to form a bond worth a decade.

"I'm not good at a lot but I am good at cleaning."

"You know that's not true idiot." The tone of his voice indicates that your answer doesn't please him.

"But I do think I'm good at cleaning? Maybe not as good as you but I am half decent."

"Not that. You're good at much more than half the people I've ever met." He sneers, his footsteps edge towards you. "Purely being a good person is a talent these days."

You suppress a flinch because you aren't a good person at all. Neither are you that middle ground between good and bad. Rough around the edges and uneven, you're shards of glass ready to slash and hack away at him if Marley somehow lures you back.

The confession, if you could even call it that catches you by surprise and anger fills you. You almost want for him to not trust you and call out your bluff. It's a little unnatural how badly you want for him to realize the truth.

Your head turns up to stare at the man who's a few steps away from you. "Or am I just good at acting genuine?"

You don't even mean to snap at him and you don't even realize you have until you see his eyes widen and mouth part in imperceptible surprise. Biting your tongue your attention is diverted back to the wooden floor. Driving your washcloth into the crevices and dips of the floorboards you ignore Levi's leather shoes which now stand right in front of you.

"Are you questioning my judgement of character?"

Be born in Marley, That's what you had done, trained to destroy people you thought to be devilish entities, foolishly chose to grow attached to the so called enemy. Your mind lingers onto a specific thought and you're deathly afraid to be thinking it in the first place but there's no more avoiding it.

Falling deeply in love with Levi is your worst mistake to date.

"What I did. It was out of my control." you reply, voice hard.

"Not disclosing what it was?" He asks.

Your silence is his answer. Kneeling down to where you are he disarms you, the washcloth is taken out of your hands and he places it onto a table.

"You are a good person." His voice is brusque and he states it like it's a fact, something you should know. Hot tears threaten to spill over, he's stupidly naive for not rethinking that opinion of his. Lips thinned and eyes watering you don't know how to feel.

"Levi. I'm sure you'd like to think that but I am not."

"You love the members of the corps unconditionally I can see it in the way you look at them."

"Sometimes you look a little sad when you stare." The last sentence he adds in has your pulse racing. He's right, you often feel miserable thinking about how everyone would react knowing who you really are.

"I'm not interested in bad people." He sounds distant saying such warm words and it takes a moment for them to actually sink in. You don't quite believe you've heard him correctly. The dread sinks to the bottom of your stomach and the feelings you've buried at the back of your mind hit you like a tsunami. The thought of him feeling the same way for you, is agonizing.

"Stop being ridiculous." The uncertainty is killing the both of you.

"Loving you is not ridiculous, if you don't feel the same way you can say that and I'll step away. We'll be back to normal."

"No, no, no. You don't get it. You're just saying that." Your voice quivers and the intensity of this new revelation is too large for you to cope with.

"Why would, you," He begins, voice just above a whisper, "ever think that way?"

"Why would you even look twice at me?" You reply.

"Because I worry for you."

"You worry for everyone."

"I worry for you the most."

Instead of letting you respond to him this time he carries on speaking.

"We both know we feel the same."

You already knew you were in love with Levi, you didn’t need for him to tell you. You knew you were in love when you tried to memorize his facial features, you knew you were in love when his laughter was the cause of your laughter, you knew you were in love when you threw yourself in front of that abnormal for him.

That's when you begin to understand what all his signals meant. You now knew why he'd let you stare so intently, you now knew why he laughed particularly hard when it was you who had made a joke, you now knew why he scolded you and nearly broke down at the sight of your injured arm after that specific expedition.

You know it. He knows it. You both know what this will lead to.

But you still lunge onto his lap, you still press your wobbly lips against his. You still choose to surrender yourself to him and he still reacts by taking a hold of your shaky hands which lay on his chest. He envelopes them in his warm grasp. Slowly but gradually the ice thaws and dissolves. Heartbreak, anguish and suffering when one of you loses the other will be the end of your romance, you're sure of it. Hell, the both of you are in the middle of a war but your heart flames up thinking of all of the possibilities.

Perhaps it'll play out the one way you wish for it not to.

Could your ending be in betrayal?

848, i.

"Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded hus-"

"Cut the crap and kiss me." Levi's crude interruption isn't appreciated by Erwin but everyone knows Levi doesn't care all that much for formalities and hates being in the spotlight for too long.

Gripping him by the collar of his suit your lips are a centimetre away, he stops you tightening the hold he has on your waist. His lips gently press against your collarbone and his breath meanders towards the shell of your ear.

"Swear you won't die on me."

Gulping you look away apprehensively. You know you can't promise that.

“Oi, I’m expecting an answer.” His voice flickers slightly.

Forefinger holding your chin up you see your soon to be husband close to tears, he valiantly blinks them away. Levi has never been one to make his pain public and your heart twists in your chest as you realize just how much of a hold his feelings for you have over him.

"I can't promise that, you know it'll only hurt more." The strange bitter taste in your mouth won't let you comply with his request and by measuring his reaction you see his eyes cloud in an unidentifiable emotion, you're sure it's nothing positive.

"We may not have a happy ending Levi but we'll always have a happy middle."

Levi scoffs in derision, he has to think your attempt at being meaningful is ridiculous.

You lean into him and it's all so heart-wrenchingly familiar yet foreign. His body sags comprehending that not everything will go the way he wants it to. One of you is guaranteed to leave first.

Hands finding purchase in the cloth of his white dress shirt Levi doesn't cringe at you creasing the fabric as he usually does. He allows for you to call the shots this time, your lips brush faintly against his before you nosedive into him. No resistance is felt and he replies almost immediately. Everyone applauds as his fingertips press into the back of your skull and you find that this is all incredibly hideous. The innate disloyalty you feel, you throwing your entire life away for this man but you find yourself not caring. To hell with that miserable life crammed with sin.

Levi smiles against your mouth, you assume you're meant to magically smile back but you can't make yourself. It's uncomfortable relishing in the undeserved happiness knowing it won't last forever.

The world you live in isn't ideal nor is it forgiving.

Momentary joy is all an antagonist can hope for.

849, i.

Jean can’t take his eyes off the newly weds.

You’re cooing into your Levi’s ear gently, his cheeks flush scarlet at the feeling of your hot breath against his skin and he scolds you for having the gall to rile him up in public.

Jean sniggers finding some sort of odd delight from the interaction - he’s never seen the Captain this content and at ease.

849, ii.

You don't know why you've dragged yourself out of bed just to stare at your husband's face but you have, despite the toll life has had on him he seems sound for once. His breathing peaceful yours is anything but that. When it's dark the weight becomes heavier, your skin tingles and your throat burns aching for release.

Eyes blurring your hands shake reaching out for him but you can't find the courage to make contact. Nothing will ever warrant plaguing him even more with your existence.

The memories become increasingly bitter.

"If we make it out of this alive we'll have children and they'll look just like you."

"I want them to look like you." had been your reply.

Levi winced not seeming to like the idea.

"No, I want them to look like you. You're beautiful."

How wrong he was for thinking that.

You, beautiful? He'd stab himself ten times over if he knew just who exactly he had said those words to.

850, i.

Zeke had betrayed you after finding out who you were to Levi but you half expected that he would tell him the truth at some point regardless of that fact.

Tear stains travel through the mud and grime on your face, Levi's eyes are indifferent as he twists his wedding ring off his finger flinging it into the surrounding rubble.

Without your permission he yanks your arm forwards intending to take your matching ring away but you hold on digging your heels into the dirt beneath you.

"You disgusting bitch. Give me it."

You scream, high and awful, he continues jerking at your arm the muscle throbs crying out for him to stop but he doesn't and no one steps in to put a halt to any of it. Levi having had enough grabs at your neck ruthlessly. In any other circumstance he'd be labelled callous or cruel but everyone on the battle field shares a similar empathy for their Captain. Neither they or Levi had expected your disloyalty.

"I said give me the ring if you know what's good for you." His fingers slide around your neck, his seemingly low words cling onto the little respect he has left for you.

"No." Your defiance has his eyes hardening in and posture tensing. "I'm not handing it over."

Levi says nothing, he only holds onto your throat tighter, if he really keeps at  it your windpipe will be crushed in no time. You know he's holding out on purpose, he's still giving you a chance. He expects for you to stand your ground, say you never deceived Paradis, say something, anything to make him let go of you.  

"Marrying you... It just happened somehow. I know it was selfish of me." He squeezes harder. "I know it was. I'm sorry Levi." Gasping and breathless you clench and unclench your fists finding it too difficult to explain.

Your mouth opens, you want to tell him you haven't seduced him like he thinks you have, tell him you dropped that plan of yours long ago but then you falter at the last second.  It's typically hard to tell when Erwin's infuriated but it's painfully obvious when you make eye contact with him over Levi's trembling shoulders. It's enough to tell you to give up. Enough to tell you that you're beyond redemption, you've ran and hid long enough.

"Hand over your titan." Levi says nothing to Erwin's proposition, the hold he has on your neck loosens but his silence is sickening. It means he agrees.

This is fate's idea of a cruel joke.

But you agree, on the basis of one condition.

"Fine but-"

Levi cuts in, all regard for you devoid from his system.

"You're in no place to be making demands." He snarls, his patience quickly running thin.

However Erwin urges you to continue speaking taking you aback.

"If it's not too much maybe we can accommodate your final wish." Erwin had always been thoughtful in nature and you thank him for even bothering to show you a sliver of benevolence.

Everyone's looking, all eyes are on you. Some are blinking away tears, others are disgusted unable to stare at you for more than a few seconds at a time. Levi falls into the latter.

Brazen with not an ounce of shame you mention the ring again. "Let me keep it." Your left hand covers your right and underneath the flesh is the last symbol left of your union with Levi.

Whispers and murmurs orbit you, none of them are kind and Levi loses it.

His reflexes are paralyzing, he's back at it clawing your neck mercilessly but you don't scream or shriek as you did previously. You take it, you let him unload his frustration.

"Levi. Let it go for the sake of humanity." Erwin says pointedly. Irritation pricks him, he wants this over and done with and your rebelliousness doesn't look as if it'll be tamed any time soon unless you're given what you want.

Levi's face is crimson, the fresh blood from the expedition still steaming. "Y/N, I'll saw your arm off if I have to." But, you know he's already given into Erwin's orders when he throws you to the ground letting you crash and wheeze for breath.

850, ii.

Levi's been appointed to guard you for your final night alive. The room feels wistful as you think back wondering if the life you lived was respectable.

"Why did you stare at me when I slept? Did you think of killing me?" Half commanding and half pleading his voice cracks. He coughs attempting to cover it up.

You jolt not expecting the interaction at all and you're not the slightest bit surprised that he had seen you all those nights staring so deeply. He'd always been a light sleeper. You turn your head up hoping he's looking at you.

He isn't.

"I wanted our children to look like you. I think you're beautiful."

It's now his turn to recoil, only he does so in repulsion remembering the familiarity of those words. They had left his own lips not too long ago.

"I'd never have children with the likes of you." He sounds tense then.

You understand. No one would want to have children with someone as hated and as despicable as you.

"I know." You whisper faintly.

850, iii.

When Erwin's eyes glaze over unable to focus on anything in particular Levi assumes it's him growing used to the titan powers. What he doesn't expect is for his Commander to bang his head against the floor unrelenting screaming your name.

Pairs of hands move to stop him but he thrusts them aside wailing. Levi stresses trying to figure out what it is you could have done in the wake of your death.

But Erwin Smith. Courageous, brave Erwin Smith, who never cracked at loss of life for the sake of humanity, who always eloquently spoke to everyone around him at all times, finds himself slumping down to his knees and weeping for you.

The warm blood from his self inflicted assault still trickles down his nose, a tremor shakes through his entire body when he thinks of breaking the news to Levi.

The edge in Erwin’s voice grows dangerous.

"We made the wrong choice."

Erwin can't word it any better than that.

But Levi understands right away, he wishes he didn’t, he wishes he was ignorant enough not to.

Hange sticks an arm out aiming for his shoulder but he stumbles away nearly falling back into the floor not wanting to be touched by anyone.

He finds that he is not human enough to cry. It’s that or he’s not human at all without your presence.

854, i.

Levi has grown old without you, lived to see months and new seasons without you by his side. Over time his eyelids have become heavier, the corners of his mouth naturally droop and he remains perpetually somber.

Sometimes you visit him in his dreams, each time you make a silly comment about how his grey eye bags make him look like he’s been punched in the face. “Levi Ackerman, I swear if you don’t sleep soon!” You cushion the blow by whispering sweet nothings, reassuring him that you still think he’s beautiful. 

Occasionally you add in that you don’t blame him for the past, but those conversations only last for a few seconds at a time.

“I don’t blame you.” It always starts off with the exact same phrase. 

“I should have listened to you.” Levi’s tone is stern and uncompromising .

“Lev, I was never going to tell you to spare my life. You tried to listen to me, I could tell you wanted me to deny it.”

Levi refuses to answer you, he still thinks he’s at fault.

Not a day goes by where he doesn’t think of that ring. He regrets throwing it away recklessly into the rubble.

Some day he’ll return to Shiganshina to find it. The idea sounds laughable but he has to find a reason to smile as he fights for his life.

That is what Levi thinks as two set’s of jaws snap shut onto his legs, a flurry of red surrounds him. His throat constricts at the feeling of his thighs being ripped away from the rest of him.

“I tried.” He whimpers to no one in particular, eyes blank and losing meaning.

“I know Levi, I know.” The same voice from his dreams soothes him.

“Do not despair. Find me again in another world.” The biting wind adds in.

Levi’s eyelids flutter shut unable to do much else.

He’s unsure if he has the courage to face you again in another lifetime.