#my own thoughts look like disconnected clouds

[sparks-olivarpente]

Why I liked the Mindflayer better

This starts with "I prefer the Mindflayer over Vecna and that bothers me because I need to be impressed by the bad guy" and ends… It doesn't go anywhere actually. I tried to put my thoughts on paper and they ended up all over the place. Please don't read (thanks if you do!)

The Mindflayer works well as a metaphor of the unknown within us. Little Will can't yet face some stuff within himself, it appears to him as that huge unknowable shadow and Will doesn't know if he himself is the monster or what. This, I can relate to (I litterally used to believe there was an eldritch monster inside of me when I was 13)

But now that the monster has taken shape (S3) and became a person (S4)? He can't work as a metaphor anymore (to me, maybe that works for others. Let me know if it does <3). Now he's just some guy! Who talks too much. There's nothing hidden about him anymore (or maybe there is and that's the whole point. I know there are theories out there about things not being what they seem about Henry's story. Maybe he wasn't truthfull. A lot of S4 was about lying after all, it would make sense. He wants us/the Party to believe he's the bad guy and he's really still hidding behind that)

So, Henry. I understand little Henry up to a point (his view of time, feeling stuck, his loneliness, his disconnection, wanting to take control) but I don't see how that leads to wanting to destroy everything? in his place I'd just end up badly depressed. and wanting to escape. Maybe… if this is about what happens when a disconnected person meets an horror from another dimension, we still miss part of the story? or I just need to watch S4 again.

Our own personal dragons… they're only big scary monsters when we can't face them. Once we do, they become little lost puppies, or screaming toddlers. Not really scary. Where am I going with that… I guess, I can't find another human scary anymore (I mean, after spending most of my life meeting my own dragons) We're all just afraid and we need a hug or something. Henry looks like he has fallen into some deep internal black hole and a hug won't be enough but still. I can't be afraid of him. Annoyed, angry, but not impressed.

Although… being stuck forever in Henry's mindspace is pretty scary. Someone gets Max out of here ;_; It's like Henry created his own hell that's ended up worse than what he was afraid of (time, routine, lie) Time IS scary but… the UD or Henry's mindspace, that seems kind of stuck forever at ONE moment in time? It is worse. It can't evolve, it can't get better (I used to be afraid and angry about time and… just, reality as it is, until I ended up with the curious discovery that time can be seen as a gift of love but getting off topic) (just… I can see Henry being stuck in one of those dark places I was stuck in, only worse)

Having written that I think what I need is, maybe, a deeper understanding of Henry's fears? Now that the monster is a person, I need to see where he is stuck (I'm not sure about that part, I feel I'm contradicting myself, because I find people I can't understand at all, such as Lonnie or Angela, scarier. I really need to watch S4 again and see what really bother me with that guy) (maybe I just don't like Vecna because he looks ridiculous) If he's just the bad bad guy our team needs to kill to put the world back in order… what's the point? (I don't really think that will happen in S5. I don't have a clue what will happen in S5)

This… did not really go anywhere but then I warned you ^^

<3

[xtra7s]

𝙛𝙞𝙧𝙚𝙛𝙡𝙞𝙚𝙨

𝚁𝚎𝚗𝚎𝚎 𝚁𝚊𝚙𝚙 𝚡 𝚏𝚎𝚖!𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛

Synopsis: Renee realizes her girlfriend is struggling and comes back from her tour.

Content: depression warning, fluff, deep talks/discussions, just tw

Word Count: 1.800+

a/n: I havent been writing lately, but I was listening to my shitty ass sad playlist after I hit my bong n wanted to write based on how I felt. Srry it's sad lol.

Masterlist |

As Y/N lay in bed, surrounded by the suffocating weight of her thoughts, she felt as if she were trapped. Depression wasn't just a feeling; it was a state of being, an all-encompassing darkness that clouded her mind and consumed her soul.

The disassociation was perhaps the most insidious aspect of it all. It was like watching her life unfold from behind a thick pane of glass, disconnected from the world around her. She went through the motions of her daily routine, but it felt hollow, as if she were merely a spectator in her own life like she was sleeping.

Numbness was her constant companion, a thick fog that dulled her senses and dulled the vibrant colors of the world around her. It was difficult to muster up any enthusiasm or joy when every emotion seemed to be buried beneath layers of apathy, she just felt lost, like she was suffocating.

Boredom was another relentless adversary, gnawing at her from the inside out. No matter what she did, nothing seemed to hold her interest for long. Hobbies that once brought her joy now felt like meaningless distractions, and even the simplest tasks felt like Herculean feats.

But perhaps the cruelest aspect of it all was the overwhelming loneliness that seemed to suffocate her at every turn. It wasn't just a lack of companionship; it was a profound sense of isolation, a feeling of being utterly and completely alone in the world.

Even when surrounded by friends and loved ones, Y/N couldn't shake the feeling that she was nobody's person. It was as if she were standing on the outside looking in, watching as everyone else lived their lives while she remained stuck in place, unable to move forward.

And so, as she lay in bed, tears streaming down her cheeks, Y/N couldn't help but feel as if she were buried alive and clawing at the wood til her fingers bled.

The room was dimly lit, the only illumination coming from the sun that shined through the curtains, much to Y/N's discomfort. It was a familiar scene, one that had become all too common in recent months, she didn't have the energy to shut the blinds.

Depression had become Y/N's unwanted companion, a shadow that followed her every step, always coming back even after she thought she got rid of it. Loneliness was its cruelest weapon, wrapping around her like a suffocating blanket, isolating her from the world.

She had tried to fight it, tried to push through the fog that clouded her mind, but tonight, it felt like an impossible task. Tears welled in her eyes as she stared blankly at the ceiling, feeling utterly lost and alone.

Unbeknownst to Y/N, her girlfriend Renee had sensed the shift in her demeanor. Renee had been on tour for the past few weeks, but even from miles away, she could feel when something was amiss with Y/N.

Tonight, as Renee finished her performance on stage, her thoughts were consumed by Y/N. Something didn't feel right, a nagging sense of worry gnawing at her heart. Ignoring the cheers of the crowd, Renee hurried back to her dressing room, her mind racing with concern.

Once backstage, Renee grabbed her phone, her fingers trembling as she dialed Y/N's number. It rang once, twice, before Y/N's voice echoed through the receiver, thick with emotion.

"Hey," Y/N murmured, her voice barely above a whisper.

"Hey, love," Renee replied, her heart aching at the sound of Y/N's voice. "Is everything okay?"

Y/N hesitated, the lump in her throat making it difficult to speak. But Renee's presence, even over the phone, was a balm to her weary soul.

"I… I don't know," Y/N confessed, tears streaming down her cheeks. "I just… I feel so lost, Renee. Like I'm drowning in my own thoughts."

Renee's heart shattered at Y/N's words, the pain in her voice cutting through her like a knife. Without a second thought, she made a decision.

"Y/N, I'm coming home," Renee declared, her voice filled with determination. "I'll be there as soon as I can."

Y/N's breath caught in her throat at the sincerity in Renee's words. Despite the distance between them, Renee's love was a beacon of light in the darkness.

"Please hurry," Y/N whispered, her voice trembling with emotion.

"I will," Renee promised, her own tears mingling with Y/N's across the miles. "I love you, Y/N. Just hold on a little longer, okay?"

As they hung up, a spark of hope ignited within her chest. Even in her darkest moments, Renee was her guiding star, leading her back to the light.

The moment Renee stepped through the door, she could feel the heavy atmosphere weighing down the air. The dimly lit apartment seemed to echo with Y/N's silent struggle, and Renee's heart clenched at the sight.

Renee quickly made her way to the bedroom, where she found Y/N curled up under the blankets, her eyes red-rimmed from crying. Without a word, Renee slipped into bed beside her, wrapping her arms around Y/N and pulling her close.

Y/N melted into Renee's embrace, her body trembling with the weight of her emotions. Renee held her tightly, offering silent comfort as Y/N buried her face in Renee's chest, seeking solace in her warmth.

For a long moment, they lay there in silence, the only sound the steady rhythm of their breathing. But eventually, Y/N found the courage to speak, her voice barely above a whisper.

"I'm sorry, Renee," Y/N murmured, her words muffled against Renee's shirt. "I hate that you have to see me like this."

Renee brushed a gentle kiss against Y/N's forehead, her heart aching at the pain in her eyes.

"Don't apologize, love," Renee murmured, her voice tender. "You never have to apologize for how you feel. I'm here for you, always."

Y/N's breath hitched at Renee's words, the love and acceptance in her voice a balm to her wounded soul.

"I just… I don't know how to cope anymore," Y/N confessed, her voice breaking with emotion. "It feels like I'm drowning.."

Renee's heart clenched at the despair in Y/N's voice, but she refused to let it consume them. With a gentle hand, she tilted Y/N's chin up, meeting her gaze with unwavering determination.

"You're not alone in this, Y/N," Renee said firmly, her eyes brimming with love. "We'll get through this together, okay? I'll be right here by your side every step of the way."

Y/N nodded, a glimmer of hope sparking in her eyes as Renee's words washed over her like a lifeline.

"What if I never get better?" Y/N whispered, her voice laced with fear.

Renee's heart broke at the vulnerability in Y/N's words, shaking her head.

"We'll figure it out together," Renee promised, her voice shaky. "There are so many ways we can tackle this, whether it's therapy, medication, or finding what works for you. We'll take it one day at a time."

Y/N's shoulders sagged with relief at Renee's unwavering support, the weight of her burden suddenly feeling a little lighter.

"Thank you, Renee," Y/N whispered, tears shimmering in her eyes. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

Renee brushed a tender kiss against Y/N's lips, pouring all of her love and devotion into the gentle caress.

"You'll never have to find out," Renee promised, her voice filled with conviction. "I love you, Y/N. And I'm not going anywhere."

As Y/N lay in Renee's arms, her thoughts churned with a whirlwind of emotions. The weight of her depression bore down on her like a heavy anchor, dragging her deeper into the abyss of her own mind.

"Renee," Y/N's voice wavered, breaking the heavy silence that enveloped them. "I feel like I'm stuck. Like I'm trapped in this endless cycle of figuring it all out then knowing nothing again."

Renee's heart ached at the tremble in Y/N's voice, her grip tightening around Y/N's trembling form.

"I know, love," Renee murmured, her voice soft with understanding. "I'm here.."

Y/N's eyes glistened with unshed tears as she gazed up at Renee, her vulnerability laid bare for the world to see.

"But what if it's not enough?" Y/N whispered, her cracking ever so slightly as she spoke. "I feel like I'll always be this way. I never seem to get better, Renee."

Renee's heart shattered at the despair in Y/N's words, the fear of losing her consuming her from the inside out.

"You're not broken, Y/N," Renee insisted, her voice firm with conviction. "You're human. And humans are allowed to feel lost sometimes. But that doesn't mean you can't find your way back."

Y/N smiled sadly at Renee, trying to believe her words.

"I just… I feel like I'm losing everyone," Y/N confessed, her voice trembling with emotion. "And I'm so scared of being alone."

Renee's heart constricted at the raw honesty in Y/N's words, the pain of her loneliness echoing in her own soul.

"You're not alone, Y/N," Renee whispered, her voice laced with tenderness. "You're my person, and I'm yours. We'll navigate your darkness together, hand in hand, until we find our way back to the light."

Y/N's tears flowed freely now, cascading down her cheeks like a waterfall of emotion. But with Renee's unwavering love to anchor her, she felt a glimmer of hope amidst the storm.

"Thank you, Renee," Y/N murmured, her voice choked with gratitude. "For being my light in the darkness."

Renee pressed a gentle kiss against Y/N's forehead, pouring all of her love and devotion into the tender gesture.

"Always, love," Renee promised, her voice a whispered vow. "I'll always be here for you. No matter what."

As the weight of their shared emotions began to ease, exhaustion swept over Y/N like a gentle tide, pulling her into the embrace of sleep. Renee held her close, their bodies entwined in a comforting embrace.

In the quiet of the night, as the world outside fell into a hushed slumber, Renee pressed a tender kiss to Y/N's temple, her lips lingering against the warmth of her skin.

"Sleep now, my love," Renee whispered, her voice a soft murmur in the darkness. "And remember, don't kill the flowers."

Y/N watched Renee sleepily, hooded eyes silently agreeing with her words. Sleep soon claimed her, pulling her into its gentle embrace.

And as they drifted into dreams, the promise of a new day.

𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘬𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘧𝘭𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘴.

[liittleemiixeer]

I started a new slot for hsr to play the voice of God's path, and it still boggles my mind how good the first episode of the book is. I gotta talk about it STAT

[long rant ahead warning!!]

After she wakes up in the estate and finds Cain sleeping in the living room—if you take the diamond option to "look at him"—she regards him with utmost detail.

Lane's train of thought in this scenario reveals a complex inner struggle with her identity and emotional state—appart from clear attraction. Her desire to provoke a response from Cain, despite knowing he's not human, just emphasises that Lane is grappling with a profound sense of detachment from her own humanity, yet she yearns to see it on others. Or on somebody she "cares" about, rather. Having emerged from the rift, we all know she feels that all humanity has been stripped away from her, leaving her emotionally numb and disconnected. So, by focusing on Cain's ethereal beauty and trying to evoke a human reaction from him, Lane is subconsciously searching for a connection to the emotions she feels she has lost.

These sudden sparks of emotion she feels—mostly fear—which she doesn't fully comprehend, just further symbolize the remnants of her human emotions struggling to resurface, despite her mind being clouded and confused. For that reason, the desire "to find human warmth in its (Cain's face) features" reflects her own longing to reconnect with her lost humanity, even if she doesn't fully understand it on a conscious level. She even lets Anna scold her in the cemetery after she escaped from the estate to go check her name on the memorial, claiming that seeing and feeling her anger is much better than receiving indifference.

Lastly, even though she suffers some sort of temporary amnesia and doesn't understand why she feels the way she does, she describes the sensations Cain awakes in her as "someone that captivates you no matter if you like them or not." Her amnesia didn't strip her from a natural feeling she clearly experienced in the past. A normal human experience.

So it's not like she forgot how to be human, she remembers the feelings but is unable to feel them the same way she used to anymore. In other words, Lane is not entirely devoid of emotions; rather, she is in a state of emotional dissonance, where her body still reacts on a primal level, but her mind is detached due to the traumatic experiences she has endured. These scenes portray Lane as a character who is desperately trying to reclaim some semblance of her former self, even as she navigates the alien and often hostile world she finds herself in.

[victoriadallonfan]

Victoria and the Chocolate Factory

“Signatures detected.”

“All of them?”

“All. Alive too, but the signal is getting weaker. We don’t know if it’s due to the technology he uses or because… well, you know.”

I grit my teeth and nodded. I knew all too well. I’d read all the files, and seen what had happened in the aftermath.

The broken homes. The broken kids.

In some ways, it was worse than Cradle, because this fucker seemed intent on humiliating the kids just as much as he wanted to make them hurt. “We found him,” Dragon said in my ear piece. “His duplicates have been detected and targeted in London and Bath. Your strike team is clear to go.”

The cold air of Oxford whipped over my forcefield as I descended, feeling the chime in my ear as Dragon disconnected and my eye lit up with gold.  A quick rush of information poured into my vision and brain from Kenzie’s camera, logs of teams communicating where they didn’t feel comfortable speaking, coordinating battle plans and sharing files on the targets.

I had to ignore it all for now, blinking rapidly to swipe through vision modes, until I had the highlighted figures in view. Gold for allies and deep red for targets, the camera giving me a very basic outline of the building’s interiors and possible sources of egress.

Coming down through the clouds, I decided to leave those areas to my team; I had a means of making my own entrance.  

The gun chimed above my head, lines of circuitry along the barrel and handles alighting in gold as the charge readied itself, aimed near the largest red target. A top-hat symbol with a crescent grin beneath.

Traced by whatever power source the new gun used as a battery, the gold laser tore through the sky as I flew down, illuminating wisps of moisture from the clouds on my forcefield.  

It was smaller, tighter, and more concise than the original gun. The new gun was more like what Win had made to fight the Simurgh, more compact in use.

Size mattered not though, my eye camera noting how the beam of light tore through several floors of the building in mere moments. 

I cut off the beam as I approached, a few hundred feet away.

I flew down at an angle, collapsing my forcefield to a near skintight level and held the gun so that it trailed behind me like a straightened scorpion’s tail, just so I could lose that extra bit of air resistance.  With the angle of my flight, and my narrowed profile, I slipped into the glowing hole I made at full speed, the rings of melted steel flickering past me like a descent into hell.  

I came to a stop where the laser had hit near my target, a deep smoking crater that smelled of burning licorice and cinnamon. I turned to where the red symbol stood, both of us obscured by smoke.

“I've always wanted my factory to have that rustic, industrial look. How very avant-garde of you.” The smoke began to fade, the blood red top-hat and crescent smile flickering out of focus as my target became visible to the naked eye. “At least the new ventilation will help with the smell, young dear.”

Wonka, I thought with absolute loathing. The smile on the man’s face didn’t reach his manic eyes, casually leaning on a cane, seemingly unbothered by a lightspeed spear hitting the ground not even fifty feet away from him. 

Cloaked in a purple velvet jacket and adorned with a vibrant orange vest, he didn’t look much like a cape. Dark Society, the Ambassadors, and the Suits went with the professional look - even Limerick added splashes of messy color - but this didn’t feel like reinforcing a costume with high quality attire. 

Which made a level of sense. He had never advertised himself as a cape.

Curly brown hair jutted out from under his hat, and a golden goose-handled cane that felt more than a touch on the nose as he loomed over me on a small circular pedestal. A perfect match for the description of William Wonka.

One of the Wonkas, at least. The others had situated themselves across the United Kingdom of Gimel, portraying themselves as kind, loving, benefactors to the community. 

That had been before the missing families hit the news. Before the children were found, sans parents or guardians, dumped in alleyways or in the woods.

None of them were dead. We couldn’t even call it a mercy, with what he had done to them.

Last I had heard, Tattletale was trying to pull in favors from Semiramis to try and revert them to normal. Riley was looking over them too, asking about getting help from Chris for his parole.

A dark fucking irony, considering what his original had done.

“You going to surrender?”  I asked, even though I already knew the answer. More of the factory was coming into view now; giant candy carrots with leaves that looked glossy, almost like they were made of rubber. More alien looking plants and oddly designed pillars were strewn across the floor, looking more like a greenhouse from a TV show than anything that a professional business would have. 

The grass beneath our feet looked normal, but the smell of the burnt ground made me doubt it.

"Surrender?” His voice was soft and calm. He brushed some burned dust off his shoulder. “My dear, I'm afraid you misunderstand the nature of my work," he replied, twirling his cane with an eerie grace. "How nonsensical of a question to ask. Well, I suppose a little nonsense is relished for a reason. I must say, your entrance was quite spectacular, if a bit lacking in finesse."

I ignored his taunts, my gaze unwavering as I aimed the gun at him. He tapped his cane and a glass tube flashed up to encase him, glittering in the factory lights. The way the light was refracting off the glass gave me pause and the madman tipped his hat, “Little surprises around every corner, but nothing dangerous. To me, at least. For you? Well…” 

A flick of his wrist had a silver flute in his hand-

I fired a warning shot, the laser missing the tube on purpose, wanting to slow down whatever he was planning.

-and continued to play the instrument, a small melody, unbothered by the attack. He gave the instrument a twirl and it vanished beneath his coat.

Distorted echoes of laughter and screams seemed to linger in the air as the melody and blast of my laser died down, accompanied by music and the stomp of feet.

“Your fucked up game ends here," I declared, rising up and flying closer to the glass tube. “The heroes have you surrounded. Your duplicates are being hunted down.”

Wonka merely tilted his head. "Oh, my dear, you're not here to end anything. Can’t you hear it? The sound of dreamers and their fitful nightmares? Here they come, right… now."

As he spoke, the shadows within the factory stirred. Short men appeared, their skin orange and hair a sickening shade of green. Each one bore an expression devoid of any emotion, their eyes dead, even as they sized me up. 

Some of them were marching, while others somersaulted or vaulted from behind the candy colored jungle, adroit for their small size.

They sang, and music seemed to emanate from nowhere, reminding me of Nursery’s power.

Oompa Loompas, doopity doo,

Here's a lot of trouble, coming for you.

Oompa Loompas, doopity dee,

If you are wise, then now you must flee.

I turned and opened fire on the minions, only for them to cartwheel out of the way. Others were quick to put obstacles in the beam’s way, including the candy carrots that seemed slower to melt than solid steel. 

We’d captured a few of these Loompas in the past few days, canvassing the remnants of his artificial wilderness in the sewers of London. The ones we let our guards down were quick to duplicate as the song progressed and were surprisingly adroit. Cruel as well, considering what they did to their still-living victims. 

The Loompas that weren’t eradicated were quick to calcify, turning into what was best described as hyper-dense rock candy. Apparently, other locations would have different variations of the Loompas.

Another blast at a group of Loompas trying to aim a fire-hose sized vine my way, scorching chocolate spurting out before being vaporized.

Fast little fuckers.

And they were quickly surrounding me by the dozens.

What do you get when you mess with fate?

A clash of powers, a bitter debate.

What do you get when you challenge the stars?

A battle unfolding, bearing new scars.

You've entered our world of whimsical glee,

But beware, dear Victoria, of the chaos you'll see.

Heroes and villains, in a dance so divine,

Yet meddling too much might- “Gack!”

One of the Oompa Loompas fell to the ground, thrashing as barbed wire exploded out of his mouth. Pieces of a glass marble embedded his eyes.

“Wham! Bam! Shazam! Kablam!” Finale shouted, launching her own barrage of musical blasts, sending the small minions flying about as their empowered song was thrown off-key. 

The other Majors were arriving, Withdrawal blasting Loompas with goop that seemed alive, latching onto anything that moved. Caryatid was acting as a shield for Finale, unharmed as a trio of Loompas tried to bash her head in with a giant lollipop.

Sveta was in the rafters, tossing things at any unaware minion. Children were in her grasp.

The survivors.

“Oompa Loompa, doopity dee,” Limerick sang with the most bored teenage voice I had ever heard, putting away his slingshot. “Here's a new phrase, now listen to me. Oompa Loompa, doopity doo. You can’t do jack shit when we say fuck you.”

He tossed back a knife so casually that one almost would have thought it was reckless, had it not impaled a Loompa through the temple, causing him to fall atop a nearby squad and douse them all in a burning candy puddle from one of the laser blasts.

Loompas turned to him, and I got the distinct impression that his singing pissed them off more than the killing.

I turned to Wonka; chin raised.

“They say that looks can kill,” Wonka tutted. “But it seems being blindsided is what has done me in.” 

He smiled suddenly, “Come then. You and I have so little to do with so much time.”

I charged him, gun at the ready, Fragile One baring her teeth.

His child victims called the factory a ‘world of pure imagination’.

I would make sure to wake him up to reality.

[jeonbunnie]

promises

pairing: reader x namjoon

summary: marriage life with namjoon hasn’t been the same lately. he’s been cold and distant, always whispering on the phone. and you can’t help but notice…

genre: angst, drama, choose your own adventure,

content/warnings: established relationship; married!au; idol!namjoon; cheating/infidelity; implied sex; eventual smut; explicit sex

soundtrack: lemonade by beyoncé

a/n: this used to be a series but I decided to rework it into a oneshot. The plot is mostly the same, however now the reader gets to choose the big decision at the end (kind of like a choose your own adventure). This is one of the endings, if you want to read from the beginning, start here.

word count: 871

Choose Him

When Namjoon wakes up the next morning–you’re not by his side.

It was just a little after dawn. The sun finally peaked its head out from around the clouds, stretching across your home in vanilla sunlight.

At first, Namjoon is too tired to comprehend what it means to not feel your warmth pressed up against him. But as soon as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes, he realized he was waking from a dream into a nightmare.

Namjoon was so overwhelmed with grief for the loss of his marriage, for the loss of you, he didn't hear the click of the front door opening, or see the look on your face when you finally, finally came home.

You opened the bedroom door to find Namjoon sitting with his face buried in his hands. You went to him, sat by his side, and gingerly pulled his hands away from his face. “Namjoon...what’s wrong?”

He looks up into your face, and there’s shock, confusion, and tears in his brown eyes. There’s a look of disconnect as he takes in the sight of you, the suitcases standing by the door.

“You left.” He says.

You shake your head.

The tears in his eyes spilled down his cheeks. “You did. You left, and all your stuff was gone. You were gone.”

“Not like that.” You said. You did leave, but not in the way he might have thought. You went to think. To find peace and quiet so you could listen to your heart.

You made your decision. You decided to love him anyway, and keep loving him, and keep working at your marriage. Even though it failed, you would keep trying. Because love didn’t quit. It wasn’t pride, or anger, or hurt. It didn’t hold grudges or keep resentments. It was patient, and kind, and forgiving. Healing.

And that was what you wanted, right? To heal.

“I’m sorry, I should have approached this better.” You said. “I figured you’d still be sleeping by the time I got back. I just needed to be on my own for a bit. Clear my head, think.”

Alone, you had more clarity about everything. Though knowing Namjoon’s truth didn’t make anything any easier. It did help you find your truth.

Namjoon kissed the back of your hand and held on tight. His palms were wet, but you didn’t let go. He looked at you, and something softened in his eyes. “I thought–” he said, voice cracking. “I thought…”

“Me too.”

“You said you’d never come back.”

“I know. That was a long time ago...I promised you that I would leave. But that’s not how promises work anyway. And I don’t want a relationship based on promises. Those are just thoughts. And words. And they don’t mean anything unless your actions match up.”

“We said we’d be honest with each other so,” you took a deep breath, holding it for a minute before saying what you could only admit to yourself in private.

“I know I could start over. Find someone else. There are other men... but when I think about it, when I think about it, I’ve only ever wanted you. I don’t want to start over with someone new. And kiss strangers. And hope to fall in love again. I want you. I still love you.”

“I love you, too,” Namjoon said. Softly. Without hesitation.

“But things have to change. We just stopped talking. You were my best friend, but we were living like strangers because we didn’t communicate with each other–I can’t do that again. You can’t just keep all your feelings bottled up inside. You need to talk to me. I don’t know if I can be everything that you need me to be, but you have to give me a chance. Don’t shut me out.”

“Can you do that for me?” You finished. You looked at his face and honestly stared back at you.

“I can. I can do anything for you.” Namjoon whipped at his wet face. “If I could take it all back I would…I’m far from perfect, and I’ve done things that hurt you, things I’ll live to regret for the rest of my life. But I want to do better. Be better. And I know that I’m a better man when I’m with you… And I want to be by your side. Always. I can’t pretend it never happened. Like everything’s fine and that it’ll all be okay. I don’t know that. But I want it to be. I want to try...”

Now you were tearing up. You squeezed his hand. “So let’s try.”

“But Namjoon, I swear, if you try this shit again—”

“I won’t. I can’t. After everything...baby, all I see is you. I don’t want anyone else.”

Namjoon smiled at you, a real smile, eyes turning into crescent moons.

And you smiled back.

He leans forward then, till your forehead to forehead, nose to nose, and you both close your eyes, savoring the moment. That feeling came back. The one from the night before. Overwhelming, unfiltered love. And at that moment, you know.

You know you can move on. Fall in love again, rebuild your trust.

And you’ll do it together.

[spicyicetea]

This is the start of a fic I briefly spoke about in THIS post. These won’t be chapter by chapter posts, at least not at first, but somewhat disconnected posts that change POV. I still don’t know what to call this but if you have suggestions feel free to let me know.

Yandere Eldritch Submas x reader

May contain NSFW topics including violence, swearing and sexual references. MDNI. This is a Fem reader but referred to with GN pronouns the majority of the time. Not proofread because I can’t be bothered.

Oh Arceus

It wasn’t often Arceus had to intervene with his creations, but now he feels obligated. He lowered his guard and something… slipped through the cracks into the reality he had created. Powerful beings they were, rivalling his own power easily when working together. They were hungry beings, greedy things he had tried to protect his creations from. But no, they’ve been a pain in his… neck ever since one of them discovered the concept Soulmates. Their desire to watch his creations grew, wanting to discover what those… humans meant when calling someone a soulmate. Then they found her, what a battle they caused. He held them off, reminding them of a deal they had sealed millennia prior but they easily shattered it as he turned his back to heal. Sliding through the cracks in reality to find her… find their soulmate.

“So, you’re telling me that you fucked up and I have to fix it?”

It was hard to believe a single word they were told, it isn’t often the god you were studying appears before you to beg for your aid. But this was no ordinary situation. Two other god-like beings slipped into the world you held so dear and now god wants you to help fix it, to find them.

“I don’t think I’m qualified for this job.”

“Hold on! Don’t just walk away!”

Y/N stopped in their tracks, sighing before looking at the towering white god before them. Despite how unbelievable it was, it felt wrong to just say no. Arceus wanted them to travel back to Unova, where he believed these beings were hiding. That doesn’t sound so bad… it would be nice to return to Unova…

“Fine, I’ll help you.”

And with that, your fate was sealed. As the phone like shape settled into your palm, Arceus taking a more familiar form to not arouse suspicion, you had been played into their arms perfectly. Disguising themselves in human forms to find their beloved. It’s the perfect plan.

“And given that Arceus can never let things be without his permission, he will lure them home to us!”

“Perfect plan brother! I’m so verrry excited to see our darling again.”

“Yes, however, we should be weary Kudari, I fear Arceus may recognise us and take her away from us…”

“Then we shall use our other names Nobori, remember? I am Emmett and you’re-“

“Ingo, I remember brother.”

———————————

The sun streamed through the parted clouds onto the pavement, street vendors offering food at every corner. It had been years since you had lived in Nimbasa, but the sights were still as familiar as ever. Except that was a lie. It had never been so… perfect. In fact, it was uncomfortably so. Your new friend tucked in your pocket not doing much to heal your discomfort.

“I need to get a job… I wonder if that coffee shop I used to visit is hiring.” Y/N muttered, a hand on their chin while trying to figure out how to afford food.

Their shoes clicked along the pavement before a hand tapped her shoulder. With wide eyes, she spun to face them. The person in green uniform bowed and apologised repeatedly. They knew if they didn’t then their bosses would have a few harsh words for him.

“Ah my apologies ma’am! I overheard you talking about needed a job and thought I could lend a hand. You see, we’re currently hiring new workers at the the station and-“

“Station? I don’t remember Nimbasa having a-“

“Ah, it’s always been here, come along, I’m sure you’d love to join us.”

He dragged Y/N along the stairs into the subway grinning at her. His bosses may be your soulmates but all the other workers were eager to meet you. They had followed them from the worlds they originated from as their worshipers and now are often treated as family, or their children more or less. As much as their bosses desired you, the workers needed you just as much, you were their new mom pretty much.

“Ah there they are! Master Ingo!”

Master? What a strange way to refer to their boss…

“Hm? Ah Jackie have you-“ the man in the black coat froze, his eyes widening as he adjusted his cap and cleared his throat. “I see you’ve found someone who wishes to work with us?”

Jackie nodded eagerly taking his cap off and placing it on your head. The expression the other man held changed, it held something dangerous. It felt as if every shadow in the station were starring at you. With a nervous laugh, you took the cap off, placing it into Jackie’s hands again.

“Aha, thanks but I don’t think-“

“We’d love for you to work with us! Wouldn’t we brother?”

“Yes verrry much so Ingo!”

Y/N jolted as a man in a white coat appeared beside him, seemingly out of thin air. What are you saying Y/N, he must have walked over while you looked at Jackie…

“I am Emmett! And this is my dear brother Ingo. We would love for you to join us here.”

Ingo just nodded along with him, both staring at you expectantly. The way both brothers stared into your eyes sparked something. It felt like the shadows were groping at your thighs and weighing down on your chest, coiling around your breasts. Well they were, but you didn’t need to know that, nor did you need to know that they had… gotten rid of one of your neighbours and claimed the house next to yours so they can keep an eye on you.

“I… fine, I might as well. As long as you pay well.” You sighed, the twins lighting up with glee. Both grabbing your hands and leading you further into the station to their office.

“We’ll grab you a uniform and you can start tomorrow!” They said in unison, turning their backs to hide the way their faces distorted, too happy to contain their true forms fully.

[clockmax]

BORN TO BE LOST !

PAIRING: Jake sully X Fem!Navi!Reader

SYPNOSIS: When lost with jake, he seems to have his own way to shut you up.

A/N: I actually took so long to write this for 200 followers and now im at like 230 followers, oopsies im a little slow. Anyways, ily all. I kept worrying that this was a good fic since i tried something new, idk. Just hoping this is good since it’s my first time making a full length fic

REQUESTS OPEN

WARNINGS: not proofread, slight daddy kink, oral sex, slight dubcon, no verbal consent, p in v, praising, slightly public sex, pet names, fingering, overstimulation, porn with very little plot, slight biting.

How was it even possible to end up in a situation like this?

All you had been doing was hunting, learning from Jake as he taught you. Though, you both traveled too far into the woods, ventured off into Pandora’s box.

Your legs ached, limbs on fire from walking the forest for miles on end. No matter how many times you complained to Jake, he kept walking.

It felt like torture. The deeper you went it felt like the more lost you got. However, there was that spark of excitement. The spark of excitement to see Pandora in all its beauty, in all of its mother’s glory. But all that would be quickly drowned out by the fear of being lost. The overwhelming paranoia that a thanator could come out and chase both of you.

The fear was evident, out on display for anyone to pick up. The way you try to appear smaller, ears flat on your head as your tail wraps around the plush skin of your thigh. There was also visible pain.

The way your pace was much slower than Jakes's, back practically hunched as you heaved for air. You weren’t used to walking so far but in unexplored territory. The gnawing pain at your tendons as you moved.

“How much longer to walk? My legs feel like they're going to fall off.” You complained once more, trailing behind Jake like a lost dog.

“Can’t you keep that pretty mouth busy with somethin’ else sweetheart, can’t take you complaining anymore.” Jake grunted, beginning to grow annoyed with your antics.

How long could it have been? There was no telling how long you've been following him. The longer you walked, the more exhausted you became. It felt like your quadriceps were on fire, like your tendons could disconnected at any minute.

“Can we please just rest, I can’t walk any further.” You eventually fell down, exaggerating the pain by just a smidge.

“You better make up f’r the lost time, coulda been back home if you weren’t so slow.” The man walked over, his frame towering over you as you sat.

“Can’t we just wait for someone to find us? I’m not walking any longer.” The air felt hot as you tried to catch your breath, chest heaving as air filled back into your lungs.

Jake crouched down to your level, one of his hands roughly grabbing your chin.

“Gonna have to shut you up if you keep complaining, princess.” The way Jakes words flowed off his tongue with ease sent shivers down your spine.

The way his gaze was cold, almost looking at you with some sort of intent, one that was clouded by lust. The way his hands moved down the sides of your body, touching every curve.

A faint blush found its way on your face, the way your tail suddenly swished side to side as your ears perked up. The body language evident of how his touch made you feel, the way it was enough for you to melt in his hands.

But then reality gave you a good smack. The realization you were still lost, that anyone could find you two. The reality of the situation came back like a anvil, crushing your thoughts.

“Jake- we’re still lost.. Anyone could find us..” you mumbled, looking down as your eyes half lidded.

“Don't worry about them, sweetheart. Stay quiet f’r me and everything will be fine.”

Though no matter the amount of convincing Jake did, there was still that twinge of fear that also ignited an excitement deep in your core. The feeling sent a rush through your veins.

You could feel your body subconsciously pressing to him, lips crashing against each other. The way your body acted on its own before your mind could process, before you could give it a second thought.

“Such a beautiful girl, with such a beautiful body…” Jake mumbled, hands running over every inch of your skin.

His hands traveled down to your loincloth, undoing the material and moving it aside, gently removing your top as well. His lips kept to yours, the heat of your mouths infiltrating the air.

The way you gasped for air when pulling away, saliva slightly running down your chin, golden eyes looking at him. Your mind was so easily switched from rational to lust, body beginning to ache for the man.

Jake stood up, towering over you once more His hands moved to his loincloth, undoing it, cock springing free.

Beads of precum dripped from the tip, leaving a small spot on his loincloth. He looked down, watching the way you looked at it.

“Be a good girl and use that mouth f’r something other than complaining,” His eyes almost burned into yours.

He watched as you moved your head forward, lips encasing his member. The way your jaw stretched to fit him in, hands holding hsi thighs. It was a sight to see, the way your tears trickled down that beautiful blue skin of yours in an attempt to take him.

Your pace was slow, your jaw beginning to ache the more you moved. Jake grunted a little, the feeling of your warm mouth starting to send him into a frenzy. One of his hands moved to your hair, holding a chunk of it. Your pace stopped as you looked up to him, trying to tell his moves.

His hips pulled away, the tip of his c ock resting on your lips before he pushed himself back in. His thrust forced you to take him down your throat, listening to the muffle moans and whines erupting from your stuffed throat.

“Atta girl, look so much better f’r me when you’re on your knees.” Jake groaned, pleasure sparking every nerve in his body.

His hand stayed tight in your hair, gripping it to keep you in place. His hips rutted up into your mouth, cock bruising the back of your throat. Your body shuttered, wetness coating your thighs as you let him use you.

“Gonna swallow all of daddy's cum like a good girl,” Jake slipped out a moan, his hips increasing speed.

Your jaw aches and becomes sore, mouth finding it hard to take his large cock.His tip moving down your throat, leaving bruises in your mouth. Your tongue swirled around each vein, lapping up the underside of his dick.

“That’s it baby, just stay all pretty f’r me,”

Jake could feel his orgasm approaching. The way his hips became sloppy and uneven, the groans and small moans falling from his lips. His cock twitching your mouth.

With a few more sloppy thrusts, his seed spills into your mouth. It’s warm, slightly bitter but tasteful in a way.

He pulls his hips away, crouching back down, hand holding your chin once more.

“Swallow it, don’t be wasteful now, girl.”

His tone was firm, watching the way you so easily obeyed him, opening your mouth to show.

“Need you s’bad Jake..” you mumbled, thighs clenching together as your arousal began to drop down your thigh, slicking your cunt.

“Know you do baby, be patient sweetheart.” His hands moved to your hips, turning you around and pulling you to his lap.

Your legs opened for him, your cunt on display as the arousal dripped. His hand moved down, gently teasing you before his hand slipped to your heat, feeling it up for a second.

His mouth moved to your neck, gently biting at it as his hand lubed up with your slick, eventually finding the clit. The way the rough pads of his fingers rubbed at the sensitive nub, sending sparks of pleasure through your veins.

Without a small warning, his digits pushed past your folds. Velvety walls squeezing on him as you let out a gentle moan. He thumb kept to your clit, circling and flicking as his fingers curled in your heat.

The sensation was overbearing. Moans flooding past your lips, legs struggling to stay open. His thumb kept with the pace of his fingers, the motion bringing that tight feeling to your womb.

That smug grin of Jake’s was on his lips, the feeling of his lips curve up as he kissed down your neck. Marks of his dotting your soft skin.

“Feels good, yea? Gonna have to keep you quiet, gettin’ too loud for me princess.” Jakes hands with a swift movement went back to your jaw, two fingers entering your mouth quickly.

Your hands held into his wrist, the feeling of your orgasm building up becoming overwhelming. The sensation and lewdness of it all has you in a frenzy.

Your orgasm washes over you with quick speed. Hips jerking up as you let out a muffled moan, legs shaking and closing in as you clench around his fingers.

Jake watches the way you fall apart in his hands, the way you shake and shiver from his touch. He takes pride in knowing you’ve become like this so quickly. The way you undo yourself for the touch of him, it’s quite entertaining to him.

“Good girl, doing so well f’r me.”

You nod, mind too fucked out for a proper response. Your body was already slightly shaking, limp. Easily moved as Jake put you on all fours, moving your head down to the ground and your hips up.

“You gonna let daddy fuck your cunt real good, yea?” He spoke against your neck, gently bubbling at the skin.

Before you could even provide a proper response, his cock was past your folds. There was a moan and whine that fell from your lips. The way his cock made you feel so full, the way his tip poked at your cervix, stretching you out in ways that made pain mix with pleasure.

“So fucking tight, all f’r me.” His hips flushed against yours, resting in that position for only a slight bit.

There was a moment for you to adjust before his hips move. His pace was relentless, hips snapping against yours, body shaking. You bit your lower lip to keep your noise down, body shaking as he slid in and out.

The grip he has on your hips was sure to leave bruises, the way he roughly used your body sent lust and desire to your mind. There was not a coherent thought anymore, your mouth blabbering whatever it thought of.

The way his cock was curved so slightly to hit your gspot each time he thrusted sent stars to your head. Your eyes half lidding as his pace kept up. Jake can’t help but let out a grunt at the way you clench around his length, body shuddering as it tries to keep up.

“‘M gonna- fuck right there-!” You almost shrikes, the feeling of his balls slappinf against your clot as he reached deep into your body.

“Gonna what? Gonna come for daddy again?” Jake said almost mockingly, biting down slightly at your neck again.

A moan slipped past your lips as your lip became free, pretty noises falling past your lips. Your body shook once again as that feeling came back to your womb but with much stronger force.

His hips came to a stop as Jake felt you squeeze around his cock. Your spongy walls pulsating around him as your slick dripped onto the grass, slickness coating jakes inner thighs as well.

“Damn girl.. you must be feeling real good, huh?” He teased, hips picking back up with the same ruthless pace.

The overstimulation hit hard, the way your walls became tighter, legs shaking as you shuddered. You couldn’t even talk anymore; moans falling past your lips every-time you tried to say something.

“Fuck, gonna coke inside you, baby girl.” It wasn’t up for discussion, his pace becoming sloppy as he thrusted.

His cock twitches inside you as he came, thick ropes of dim coating your insides. Jake let out grunts as he orgamsed. The feeling of your hot, right cunt around his dick sending him into overdrive.

He pulled out, admiring rhe way his cum dropped from your folds. Jake pulled you back into his chest, holding you close.

“That’s it, good girl. Did so well f’r daddy.”

Jake kept your body close, back pressed against his chest.His voice husky yet caring as he spoke. The air still felt thick and heavy, invading your lungs. Your body was calming down, breathing becoming more eased as you leaned back.

You two talked under the sky as he put your loincloth and top on for you, covering you in kisses as he caressed your sides. His touch was gentle this time, different from how rough he was.

As time passed, you felt yourself grow tired. Eventually falling asleep on his chest, his arms shielding you.

Now just one more problem.

Where the hell did you two travel off?

[letmeoutofthebasementt]

Ateez Energy Check 6/20/24

San:

So, with San, he feels very hopeless. I’m getting something is going down with the group. There’s this hopelessness and maybe traumas he wanted to forget are resurfacing and it’s giving him really bad anxiety about most things in life. He’s jumpy now, and his head is on a swivel.

Wooyoung:

He’s about to play the martyr. He’s going to let go of something big in his life because he thinks it’s best for those around him, whether it’s true or not. He’s sacrificing something because he thinks that’s the right call to make.

Hongjoong:

He’s trying to look at the big picture and be a good leader that the group really needs right now. He’s overcoming a lot of obstacles and challenges in his life right now, plus having to deal with what the group’s going through and the individual members. And that’s getting to him.

Seonghwa:

He’s listening to SOMEONE or SOMETHING that is leading him astray. He can’t see through the lies and the illusions, and he’s suppressing what his intuition is telling him. Possibly a toxic relationship. Either way, it’s affecting the entirety of Ateez. He also may be unconsciously pushing the group away.

Yunho:

He feels like the group is drifting apart, and there’s a large disconnect between them and the company right now. He’s contemplating a lot of things, and possibly growing colder to the members off camera.

Jongho:

He’s more focused on himself. He’s searching for his own purpose and maybe debating on following another path, which is blinding him to the issues the group is faking because he’s so focused on making these big decisions. He’s lost in the clouds.

Yeosang:

He wants more. He wants more success and publicity for Ateez and it’s starting to get to a pint where he’d do anything to get it. He wants them to achieve their goals and he’s working as hard as he can to get to them. There’s also probably people here who are more successful who are manipulating him and guiding him in the wrong direction.

Mingi:

My first thought was “Oh shit”. I don’t know who did what they did to Mingi but whoever did it…Wow. He’s feeling beyond bitter, and he’s even started getting borderline cruel because of it? Someone broke this man, and he’s getting colder to pretty much everyone. This may be what affected Yunho’s energy so much. Mingi is probably pulling away from the group at least momentarily

[silli---lilli]

The Cloud You're Under

Simon had sat on the thought for days. Weeks, maybe. It was time to send Johnny home.

Simon loved him, wanted him close, felt incredibly lucky for meeting him, but that luck was running out. And he’d sworn from the moment they met to protect him. Do what’s best for him. That’s why it had to end, quietly, here in their own environment and not in the chaos that was coming.

Simon had been alone his whole life, every time the darkness came and swept him up, he’d handled it. In fact, he’d learned to simply roll over and float along the crashing waves until it ended. He’d learned to keep himself alive and close his eyes through the rest. Protecting Johnny was keeping him out of that.

“I think this is over.”

Johnny had been on his phone, a usual quiet evening, and looked up in surprise when Simon spoke. His voice sounded rough from underuse, he hadn’t been speaking much. Johnny knew why, and he was perfectly happy to sit in silence with him, sleep in silence beside him, it didn’t matter. Their connection wasn’t in words.

But there was a disconnected finality in his voice that made Johnny sit up, frowning. “What?”

Simon cleared his throat, uncharacteristically uncomfortable. He knew this part would hurt, he expected confusion and yelling and painful words. He expected Johnny to finally let loose all of the things he hated about their little arrangement.

“I mean,” he cleared his aching throat, “this has been fun, but it’s over.” He attempted to appear cool and uncaring. Unfortunately, his eyes were visible and full of unspent emotion. “It’s time for you to go home, Johnny.”

Johnny’s initial reaction was defense and he bit it back. It wasn’t as confusing as he might expect, Simon had his highs and lows, a cadence he’d gotten used to. Part of the man he loved.

It hurt all the same.

“I am home…did I do something wrong?” He asked, hoping maybe Simon could talk himself out of it. His big blue eyes looked Simon over for any tell-tale sign of insincerity.

Simon watched him, so resolute in his decision. So sure that the light Johnny had brought into his life wouldn’t be put out by him, not if he had his way.

He stared into his light eyes, imagining again how they would look when he’d let all the stars in them blink out. He was the eternal eclipse, he couldn’t keep Johnny alive. Physically, yes, he could, but not in his spirit, his soul. He was a hurricane, it didn’t matter how bright the fire burned, he’d snuff it out.

“No, Johnny, you didn’t do anything wrong.” He finally answered, unable to lie, even then. “I just think it’s for the best.”

Johnny lowered his hands, laying his phone on the coffee table. “Best for who?”

Simon knitted his brows slightly, in genuine confusion. The answer was obvious. “Best for you, John.”

Johnny moved. He was always moving, full of energy and owning the space he was in. He stood up, his eyes till on Simon. Simon expected him the anger to come then, the yelling. He couldn’t say he knew much about breakups, but he imagined how it would end.

But Johnny didn’t yell, and he didn’t lose his temper. He looked sad, and worried, and Simon hated that more. For a split second, he wanted to change his mind, go back on his decision. But he couldn’t, he didn’t want to create a space where that was the only look on Johnny’s face.

“I don’t…” Johnny shook his head, swallowing. “I don’t want that. Shouldn’t we talk about this?”

“My mind is made up, Johnny.” Simon looked down at his hands in his lap, hiding his face.

Johnny knew. He knew where this was coming from and it gripped his heart with sharp, cold nails. Simon was afraid of what he was going to do to Johnny. Afraid of being seen and known like this, at his low point. Afraid he was too much, and not enough, and dark enough to break them both.

Simon had joined the 141 with great relief, he didn’t have to worry about his world anymore. His life. It became his life and he accepted it would also be his death. But Johnny.

Johnny was there. Johnny ruined everything.

The Sergeant moved again. This time back to the sofa. His heart ached, and half of it was outside of him, sitting and looking at his hands. That’s how Johnny knew this was something else. They hadn’t really established themselves as a couple, they just hadn’t been assed to part since they got back. It was comfortable, he liked it. He loved it.

“Is this about the cloud you’re under right now?” He asked softly. He never thought of yelling, he never thought Simon might expect it. He wasn’t angry.

“What are you talking about?” Simon didn’t look up.

“Si, I can tell you’re…down. You’ve been down.”

Simon looked up then, and closer, Johnny could see real fear in him. “It’s not a cloud, Johnny. And I can’t sit around and let it hurt you.”

Johnny moved even closer to him. “Do I look hurt?”

Simon studied him a moment. He did, but he hadn’t before this whole thing started. Simon had thought it was because he was unaware. “I’ll bring you down with me, Johnny. I can’t do that. I can’t stand to watch it.” Johnny opened his mouth, but hesitated. Simon hadn’t spoken this much in days. Weeks, maybe. “You don’t like this lifestyle, it isn’t you.”

Johnny softened slightly, the stars still in his eyes. “Well, I like you quite a lot. And this is me, Simon. Do you think I’m acting for you?”

“No, I just think you don’t realize that I’m trapping you. You used to go out so much more, you were never this quiet. I’m supposed to protect you.”

From himself. Simon thought he was protecting Johnny from himself. “I went out so much because being in a dark room alone was more than I could stand, Simon. I had nothing to be home for.” He looked at Simon’s hands still in his lap. “Can I touch you?”

The softest question, a level of respect and intimacy Simon had never experienced. Or understood. “Yes.”

Johnny reached for one of his large, scarred hands and pulled it onto his own lap. “You aren’t trapping me, you’ve given me a safe place to rest.” He slid his hand into Simon’s and held it. “I have plenty of my own darkness, Si. Plenty of things I regret, things I hide from. Do you think I’m too weak to handle yours?”

“Weak? No.” Simon had little argument for that. The point at where their skin touched made him realize his self-isolation was just that. Selfish.

“If you want space, I will give it to you, but pushing me away won’t save me, Simon. And it won’t protect me.”

“I have nothing to offer you, I should never have let it get this far.” Simon grasped at his own truth, one that was getting thinner and weaker.

“I could tell you all the things you offer, Simon. I could tell you that I have never been with someone so good, so accepting of me. Maybe I haven’t said it enough.” He shook his head. “Out here, you’re not my CO, you know that, right? You are not in charge of me. I am here of my own accord. Do you think I do many things I don’t want to do?”

Simon watched the corner of his perfect mouth turn up in a smile. He knew Johnny was right, as usual, and once again he was wrong. And he realized the ache in his chest was hope, an unfamiliar feeling. He didn’t want Johnny to leave. He wanted to believe he was worth staying for. And Johnny was right, he wasn’t his subordinate, he didn’t have to obey. He was there by choice.

“I can’t stand to watch you change. I’ll bring you down.” He felt he was begging then, asking Johnny to save himself if he couldn’t.

“Simon, I’ve been watching you sink deeper for days. Weeks, maybe. I knew where it was going, and why. And here I am. I just want to be with you, being top of your game was never a condition. You’re human. If I go down, it’s in spite of you and not because of you, alright?” He slid his hand up Simon’s forearm, pulling him closer. “Do you want me to leave? Give you some space?”

Simon contemplated, it wasn’t what he expected and he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t waiting for the other shoe to drop. Though Johnny had never complained, and Simon was wrong to believe it was because he was oblivious. Of course he wasn’t, he was sharp and observant and incredibly intelligent.

The realization made him feel shaky and embarrassed and needy. “No, I don’t want you to. I never did, but I swore to protect you. I…I have to protect you.”

Still fighting, as always. Johnny knew the man would never back down easily. Not even for him. “Then protect me from losing you. Protect me from having to watch you suffer from afar, protect me from wishing I could be with you, share your burden.” He dropped his voice nearly to a whisper. “Let me.”

Simon felt himself melting, pooling at his own feet. It felt out of control, but the hand on his arm grounded him. He didn’t answer, but he stopped fighting, a monumental first step, and Johnny moved close enough to sit against him, holding him up.

[short-black-diamond]

omg don’t worry abt being weird, i was born strange

And also HELL YEAH!! I’ll read anything you write ESPECIALLY if it’s about the local loser boy tonny

I love him dearly

Well then let's be strange together love!

I took the meantime to write this. If you want anything changed, just tell me and I'll write you a new piece.

warnings/summary: looovely angst, suggestive stuff (you kiss him), bullying??, tonny being a loser<3, one-sided-love is what tonny thinks; but you confess..in your own way., and Tonny's an idiot in this one, you talk about your past, which is very tragic but anthonn comforts you

Also I didn't proofread.

Enjoy!

---

"Under my spell?!"

Why did you even spare an ounce of attention to that loser? He doesn't even get respected by some of his workers or even friends! Sahed would be a much better option, given the fact that he tried to take you out on a date a few times but you harshly declined. He'd trade you for that newbie Julia he caught sight of recently anyway.

But...was it the fact that he gave you the most innocent expression a human could muster whenever you were near him or directed a question towards him? How you 'tsk'ed annoyedly at him when the only sound he made was a "huh?", which escaped his parted lips? You wanted to punch him right i the face. Why did he even have to look this cute?!

How he tried to be subtle with his corny and cringy love letters, thinking you had to have more admirers than he could imagine? BUt no, you scared all the other people off. He was the one who stole your heart, after all.

Was it the way he couldn't even form a todder's sentence around you? A three word sentence? Like 'how are you?', 'Is everything okay?', or "Need any help?'

Maybe the it was that one time he tried to be a little bold with you and woo you with the cringiest pick up line ever? And you just staring at him with your most disgusted expression? Making him ten times more nervous and anxious than before? But you were trying your hardest not to gush at the handsome face he was making, and how that pick up line would've made you double over in laughter?

...

But no. Now you are kissing him breathless, in one of the tents. You made sure to put a 'keep out' sign infront of the entrance and now covering his neck in hickes and the face with remnants of your lipstick. Tonny himself is no better as he gasps for air, his sweet virgin body and soul not being able to keep up with his and your tongue dancing together.

Or how you grip his collar (-which he spent an hour ironing to look good enough in your eyes-), wrinkling the fabric underneath your fingers as you kiss him harshly.

Oh! Maybe it's because of the fact that you hate to admit that you actually like that clown, you are taking pity on him and giving him a good time, because "Losers like you won't ever get a girl." ?

Hm...

Tonny meanwhile, is on cloud nine, being already disconnected from the world and just letting you do as you please with him? Because all he feels and smells and sees is you? Your feminine scent? One of your graceful hands intertwining with his while the other goes through his hair? Or how he can feel your heartbeat against his, maybe a bit farther away because of your sweet chest that he took one too many glances at? How you sneakily put your dominant knee between his legs to keep him in place because his knees were shaking and would have started to buckle any second? Making him sit on your knee because he just can't hold himself upright from the pleasure he's receiving?

Tonny, who never thought you'd give him the time of any day to let him touch you, let alone kiss you? You, who was nearly hissing like a cat at him whenever he tried to compliment you?

The loser honestly couldn't believe his luck. Even though Anthonn felt his lungs ring for air, he couldn't bring himself to stop. What if you said that he shouldn't tell anyone? Or make fun of him for not being able to even handle a small make-out session, although you two've been at it for ten minutes now? (<-sorry but Idk if this is accurate, never had a boyfriend :,] )

However, Tonny can't bring himself of anything else as he is pushed back suddenly by you. As he is gasping for air and sitting on the ground, you sit yourself beside him and also lean on him. "I- we could k-keep going, you know?!? I-if you want to...we ca-"

"Relax. Just..try to relax your body, Gremminger."

'So it's still Gremminger to you, ____? After what you've pulled?', Anthonn thinks as he frowns and still pants. You are tracing patterns on his rough, big hand. It was so, so stupid of you to kiss him in his clown costume, while you were in your skimpy dress, but eh, could be worse.

"You know...even though you're a loser to me, I kinda like you, Gremminger. I hope I could make it clear with what I just did with you."

Three seconds pass before he springs away from you. "Wh-wha?! What?! Y-you, you you you actually like me?!"

"Why else would I have kissed you like that?!"

"Because you said that "losers like me would never get a girl." !"

You sighed. "So...are you rejecting me then.", you ask after a while, because as much as you hated the fact--Tonny was right. You said these exact words before you crashed your lips into his.

"No! It's just...I'm surprised that you're even harbouring any other feelings for me besides hate and disgust..."

"Hmpg, what can I do when you look like the sweetest candy in the world?!"

When you received no answer, you glanced back at him, only to catch him staring at you with a bewildered expression. "Wh-what does that mean? "Sweetest eye candy"??"

You groaned out of embarrassment. "Do you even have any idea what you're doing to me, Gremminger?! Ever since I signed that contract you held in front of my nose, can't I stop thinking of you!

I can't stop thinking about your sweet, dorky smile, or how you blush so adorably when children laugh from your tricks! I cannot withstand myself even a second longer with you than necessary, otherwise I might just pounce on you and just---kiss the missing daylights out of you! It's surely because You've trapped me under your spell!"

"Under my spell?! Y-you're one to talk, walking around with that gorgeous body of yours, looking all divine and stuff! And when you even as much as look at me, I don't know what to do! Your presence next to me alone makes me look like the biggest idiot!"

As you two were glaring with each other, heavy blush settled on your cheeks, it dawned to you two that you just confessed to each other.

You lowered your head, but you could hear the crunching of the small rocks and sand coming in contact with Tonny's boots as he came closer to you. He sat down next to you, hesitantly putting an arm around your shoulder to see if it's alright, and when you lean on him again does he pull you a little closer to himself.

"...you mean to say that all those years...I could've had your love? Times like five minutes before our...confessing?"

"...maybe? I don't know..."

"...m-may I ask why today?"

"Because today's my birthday. And I just had to see you smile at yet another girl..."

"Wait today's your birthday?! Why didn't you tell me-"

"The people from my home died on my nineteenth birthday. And all those years, I couldn't forgive myself for still being alive, and not them, hell I'm immortal thanks to that contract!...I...also never experienced love, and from what I can remember, my parents should have been divorced a long time ago...sorry if I spoke too much..."

"N-not at all! I think it's good if you talk to somebody about your past, isn't it? Also, I'm sorry for your loss. And I think that I understand now."

"Yeah, you're right. And thank you for understanding. I'm also sorry for not treating you right all those years when you've been nothing but kind and sweet to me, Anthonn."

"Ah- y-you said---my name-!", he stuttered. 'Is this why you didn't call me by my first name all those years!? Did you know the effect-'

"Stop laughing, dammit!"

"Sorry! Sorry, I just can't!"

"____! Stop bullying me already! Don't you think these past centuries had been enough already??"

And you had a genuine smile on your face, although it looked rather mischievous. "Hm...is it? I don't know. I think you can handle a little more, Anthonn~!"

And there went Anthonn's beige skin color, swapped with a cherry red one. Even after all that, it just truly feels like he fell in love with you all over again, and you allowing yourself to give him your love.

"...so, uh, ya were jelly?"

"Wanna break up?"

"No- wait, you didn't even ask me anything regarding that! ...O-or should I-"

"Dear Anthonn Gremminger, would you like to be my boyfriend?"

How can he still be such a blushing mess?! You literally just kissed him ten minutes ago! Ugh, so much for being a loser, huh?

"U-uh, I mean, Yes! I-I would love to be your boyfriend!"

"Good. And don't ever mention, smile at or even look another girl outside of the circus ever again. If you know what's best for you, that is."

---

So, let's stop here because it's already 11 pm at my place. So, after you've read it, please leave a like, a comment, reblog it if you want (but please not as your own work), and yeah!

I'mma go sleep now. good night/morning/whatever.

Read you in the next post!

[kuromi-hoemie]

10 and 24?

10: About someone I think is funny: random tumblr users and kids lmao 😭 and me..

further out of my sphere i love Kennie JDs personality so much. fellow black woman rawdogging ADD

she has a YouTube channel and has a “Bad movies and a beat” playlist where she talks about bad movies while putting her makeup on. she's so gorgeous and her looks come out beautiful and her personality is a huge part of the draw 😹 she's sorta got a series within that series too called “Good movies and a glam” which is the same thing p much but she talks about movies she enjoyed.

we don't fully overlap in our interests but she talks about horror movies sometimes and i love listening to her talk and watching her reaction to things. there are definitely some videos that have me stopping like 5-10 minutes in like wait let me go watch the movie first bc this sounds like it's gonna be an Experience. i think it's very validating and fun to see how she feels about things I've seen, and even if it's stuff I'm not interested in i still think it's fun to see her do her thing :3

sometimes she does a good analysis, sometimes it's more of a summary w some thoughts and reactions here and there, and for some she's just does a straight reaction to it bc she doesn't think there's really anything to talk about. the worse the movie is the funnier she is 💀 but she's just funny period. Atlanta queen 🫶🏾

comedy is a hard one for me.. there's a lot of jokes and comedians that don't really land for me but i think it's bc I've always been surrounded by ppl i think are funnier or more outta pocket offline and online.. something something ppl who try to be funny vs ppl who just are.

24. An unusual talent I have: o: i don't know.. electrical engineering i suppose? as an end to end process w schematic design, 3d modelling and printing, soldering n circuitry etc. i think it's very rewarding to have a bespoke thing that's the only one of its kind.. technology that does exactly what u want it to do nothing more nothing less no unwanted upgrades/planned obsolescence/privacy policies/cloud bs etc. u can make technology do plenty off of ur home network alone, if u want it to be controllable/accessible from a network at all. i only call this strange in the sense that it's not common.. but in another perspective i think I'm v good at tinkering with stuff in general!! I've built and taken apart enough things in life that a lot of stuff feels very intuitive atp, more so for furniture or something more.. mechanical, than electronics but I'm good at tinkering w that too :3

not good enough to be able to tell which specific part of a complicated circuit board stopped working (unless there's obv physical damage or a disconnected cable), but i can put stuff together from scratch or bypass certain things for more desired behavior. like i built an ebike once but instead of using its pedal assistance i bypassed it and just made it full throttle. it did like 32mph lol 😭 i made that when covid first hit and i didn't want to bus anymore but i usually otherwise make stuff for taking care of my indoor gardens, when i have them (i do not rn). a simple and handy one to do is replacing a battery source with an AC adapter so u can get full power and the thing will never die on u. or at least when it does it's in the way that all electronics will eventually stop working after enough use, but nothing's died on me yet :3

also making web tools for data analysis! (or just something u can use in the browser basically but it's on ur computer not The Internet™). i don't have the time to educate myself in other fields fully but i do like looking at the data they produce and learning more about things that way!! my favorite visualizations to make are maps but I'll make utilities that i can use to strategize for my games sometimes too.

oh and i also like modding games :3 i have made my own mods for 13 games so far. playing the game is already nice but to me it's about really fine tuning the experience to be how i want it to be and making it my own. sometimes I'll start modding before even starting the game 💀 like hmm let me take a peek at what y'all got going on here, then being like eh that sounds annoying I'll just do this instead. my favorite game to mod is elden ring, their spell system has a LOT of different pieces and phases and effects of spells that u can mix and match and chain together to make ur own spells. in this way getting a new game can be like getting a new project at times, and when i don't wanna do that i just use WeMod and call it a day :3

[astroesther]

LIVE AND DIRECT! MERCURY IN ARIES

Mercury is in Aries from March 10 - May 15, 2024.

*All photos were taken by me in Copenhagen.

When Mercury moves into Aries on the same day as the Pisces new moon, it creates a unique blend of energies. These two different yet powerful forces seem to counterbalance each other. The Pisces New Moon provides a sense of tranquility, immersing us in a dreamy and relaxed state of mind. Conversely, the fiery nature of Mercury in Aries has the opposite effect, stimulating our senses and making us alert, similar to the jarring sensation of an alarm going off at 6 am.

During this period, it might feel as though you are disconnected and struggling to adapt, almost as if you're living within a virtual reality. It's akin to those vivid dreams that blur the line between fantasy and reality. Your perception of things might seem distorted or skewed, so it's crucial to take your time. Do not rush to conclusions without first gathering all the facts and understanding the complete picture.

Mercury in Aries often signals a time of accelerated communication. Social media activity may increase, and messages may start hurtling in at a rapid pace. It's as if your wifi connection, which was previously down or weak, suddenly restores itself and springs back to life just as quickly as it had disappeared.

On a more personal note, my Wifi has been down for nearly two weeks, which has been incredibly frustrating since I rely heavily on it for virtually everything. The intermittent silence and lack of connectivity create a level of fear and unease in me that I’d rather not experience!

However, every cloud has a silver lining. In the absence of the constant hustle and bustle of life and the incessant distractions, I found some much-needed time and space to introspect and reflect upon my own thoughts. This period of downtime allowed me to rejuvenate my astrology writing practice and discover new creative projects to pursue. Looking back, I realize that this period of inactivity was, in fact, immensely valuable for me.

This experience has taught me to appreciate the downtimes, like those quiet moments in tube tunnels when there's nothing else to do but think. Or even better, to try not to harbor any terrible thoughts.

Speaking of terrible thoughts, they can be quite intrusive, right? However, with Mercury in Aries, they won’t linger for long. This period prompts us to question our thought patterns—what area of our lives is demanding assertive attention? How can we address these issues to create a healthier and more harmonious balance in our lives?

Remember, this period is a time for growth and self-improvement. Embrace it with an open mind and a willing heart.

READ FOR YOUR SUN AND RISING SIGN

Pisces

The transit might pose a challenge for you, especially considering your self-sacrificing nature. The sudden need to prioritize your desires and needs might seem out of sync with your usual demeanor. More importantly, you might struggle to identify what these needs are. This period may make you feel uncomfortable, nudging you to take center stage, focus exclusively on yourself, and make decisions without seeking the input of others.

Aries

With Mercury being in your sign for a few months, expect a transformational period. It's as if you're setting old burdens on fire, a symbolic act of releasing and purification. This period will allow you to let go of the past and welcome the future. As self-doubt makes way for confidence, you'll find yourself ready to embrace the new phase of your life.

Taurus

Much like Aries, you too are undergoing a significant metamorphosis. It's a time of change and growth, symbolized by the butterfly emerging from the chrysalis, the snake shedding its skin, or the bear ending its hibernation. Mercury, the messenger, is streaking across the sky with a chariot and flame, lighting up your life. This celestial illumination will help you destroy what's unnecessary, making room for reinvention.

Gemini

This season might bring a somber mood, making you feel low and self-reflective. Despite being the trendsetter and early adopter of the zeitgeist, you might feel lonely at the top. Your elevated confidence might highlight others' limitations, leading to potential jealousy and discord.

Cancer

As this season squares your planets, it may not be particularly enjoyable for you. Prepare yourself for complex conversations and strive to express your feelings in a way that respects the other person. It's crucial to see other people's perspectives, especially when their values don't align with yours. Strive to find the common ground where everyone is allowed to be as they are, not as you want them to be.

Leo

Expect a eureka moment, as this period brings innovation and luck your way. Things will move quickly as you align with love and joy. Tune into your intuition and be ready to act swiftly. A rain of ideas is about to pour down, signalling a fertile and creative period in your life. Mercury in Aries is set to bolster your dreams and aspirations.

Virgo

Mercury, your ruler, is in Aries and might not offer the comfort you desire. You're used to Mercury's energy in mutable or earth signs, so its presence in the cardinal fire sign could be unsettling. The sudden shift from rational Pisces to unpredictable Aries might make you feel out of control with your thoughts.

Libra

The current planetary placement opposes your sign but could be advantageous if you need to assert yourself. Remember, a partnership is about two equal individuals coming together, not one person bending over backwards. Maintain your boundaries and ensure balance in all your relationships. It's time to uphold the equilibrium represented by your scales.

Scorpio

This transit brings your co-ruler into the spotlight, making it a favourable time for you. It's almost like celebrating your birthday. Things will start to move your way, with less struggle and more ease, allowing you to plan for your near future. Reflect on the past six months, set goals for the next six, and channel your energy towards the future you envision.

Sagittarius

Rest is the keyword for you at this time. If you're feeling run down or experiencing a low mood, it's a sign that your body and mind are begging for a break. Use this downtime to address any unresolved issues or discomforts. Uncomfortable truths may surface during this period, allowing you to move forward with greater clarity and understanding.

Capricorn

This Mercury period might bring turbulence for you, but remember, you're built to weather the storm. Express your needs and feelings to others, ensuring they understand your expectations. If you're finding it hard to let go of others' burdens, it might be time to seek help. Remember, reaching out for assistance is a sign of strength, not weakness.

Aquarius

Although this transit aligns harmoniously with your house, Mercury in Aries is nudging you to be more assertive. It's time to step up to the plate and let your voice be heard. Your opinion matters, so don't hesitate to express it. During this time, focus on recognizing and leveraging your strengths rather than dwelling on your weaknesses.

[ninapi]

○●○●○●○●●○●○●○●○●●○●○●○●○●●

Premise: The last option to overcome the illness that holds you was very much uncertain. A place only known to be a myth became your last chance to survive. Welcome to the fox village, a place full of mystical beings, a place to finally call home, a place where love knocks in more than one door at the same time and choosing which to open might as well change your life forever.

Word Count: 4129

Note: Welcome to the second half of my fantasy story, to understand what’s going on you would need to at least read the chapter 0 of the first part (link here). ✨

Chapter 0: The lost girl

Not the owls nor the bakenekos were able to find a cure to the bird disease that held you captive, your friends from the Tengu clan were succumbing to despair as your condition worsened every day that went by.

After discarding the other possible options, the only one left was to embark in an ill fated quest with not much of a success rate on your own, your decision aggravating your beloved friends and earning you a one way ticket to the land of the unknown.

The way from the east side of the forest down south was a treacherous path, you were told this by many, but you didn’t expect it to be this bad. It’s been raining heavily during the past few days, the path flooded and almost impossible to walk through it, but you had to keep going.

You made a promise, a promise to your friends, the closest thing to a family you’ve ever had. You would survive, you would beat this disease and live the life you were supposed to have, to find happiness. Nothing some muddy water would stop you from achieving.

The days were long, the food your friends gave you was now gone.

You didn’t know where you were or how long you still needed to walk to find this village. They didn’t even know if it was actually real or just a myth. Everyone still alive that knew about it refused to give you word of its whereabouts hoping you would die trying, anything was better than getting the foxes attention.

The sky was finally blue, not a single cloud in the sky. Not being able to eat or drink for three days straight and tired of walking miles without a rest, your consciousness was starting to fail, black dots suddenly in every surface, until black was all you could see.

The fall was hard, you could feel a sharp pain on the side of your head before finally disconnecting yourself from reality, you thought this was probably your end, the village was nowhere near and you haven’t seen any creature of the forest for days now, nobody would find you here. But you had a decent life, at least you were able to spend some more time with your dear feathered friends before passing.

•───────•°•❀•°•───────•

“Tsumu, what’s that?” the youngest of one of the most prominent families in the village spotted something big fall on the main path while he was picking up some fresh mushrooms close by. “What was what?” his twin was concentrated in his task, making sure he wouldn’t confuse the edible mushrooms with the poisonous ones, the beating he took for making that awful mistake once still lives in his skin. “Something fell hard on the road, sounded like something big though, like a person.” he was peeking through the foliage, their village is very well hidden, no human had step on it in over a millennium, could it be hunters? “You’re delusional, Samu. Focus.” but he was certain of what he saw, it also hadn’t move since it fell, should be harmless. So he dropped his basket full of mushrooms and ran over to the road.

You were bleeding, clearly dehydrated. Your feet were full of heavily infected blisters and seemed like you lost a shoe somewhere.

“Tsumu, it’s a girl... I found a girl.” he grabbed a stick, poking your side gently with it, cautiously. You looked anything but dangerous, but you looked human after all and humans were dangerous.

“You found a what? You mean like a human girl? Or from a different clan? Get your ass back here if you don’t want to be kicked out of our village like Aran did.” he was still mourning the loss of his friend who had run away with a girl from the bakeneko clan, he just left like if his clan meant nothing to him. Hundreds of years of friendship thrown in the trash. “I think she's human. Don't be an ass, Just take my basket.” he was carefully lifting you up, trying to get you on his back. “Oh no, you are NOT bringing that thing with us. Put it down, NOW!” his fangs were out, growling at his twin in disgust, “Shut up, I do what I want with my life. You can tell Ma you picked up all the mushrooms. I saw your basket you had like three.” Atsumu scoffed, peeking into his brother’s basket which was full to the brim with high quality picks. “Fine! If she bites you don’t say I didn’t tell you so!” he went back to his mushroom hunt while Samu headed towards the village, drops of blood falling on his shoulder and alarming the young fox.

•───────•°•❀•°•───────•

Once he arrived at the entrance of the village, the gatekeeper and his senior, Omimi was giving him a hard time. “Osamu, we can’t allow strangers in, you know this.” he was shouting all the way up from his post at the watch tower. Your breath was getting shallower, and his anxiety levels were rising quickly, “Can’t you see she’s hurt?? I feel her dying on me, please just let me in, I will take in the consequences.” with a heavy sigh, he let the gate open up just a tiny bit trying to draw as less attention as possible, “Hurry.” Samu nodded to his friend, smiling briefly at him before dashing towards the healer’s house.

“Kurosu-sama, please help me!” he was banging on the elder’s door, hoping he was there. A groan coming from the inside, “Come in, Miya. What is it, that can’t wait for my nap time to be over?” Samu opened his door, kicking his sandals off and rushing inside. “Please help her. I think she’s dying.” he lowered you down on the tatami floor, gently holding your head with one of his hands to accommodate the lack of pillows in his proximity. “Miya, this is a human girl. What have you done…” he was terrified, he hadn’t seen a human in centuries, “I know, but she needs help. Can you do something? I found her not far from here already looking like this.” the older man handed him a pillow to put under your head, hoping to get some space to take a good look at your injuries, “Move, kid. I won’t eat her, if you want me to help her, I need to see what’s wrong.” hesitantly, he moved to the side, providing some space but without going too far in case he had to act if he tried some dirty trick on you, “Fetch me some water, we need to clean her wounds first.”

Lightning fast would not be enough to describe how fast Osamu came back with a bucket full of water and some clean rags, even the elder was surprised, he’s usually pretty slow and lazy, very unexpected of him, “Clean her feet, I’ll take her head.” Samu was doing his best not to hurt you, but your feet were looking pretty bad, you flinched when he touched a deep cut on the side of your ankle, “You’re fine, it’s ok, it’s just water. Kurosu-sama will help you very soon.” his voice soothed the frown on your face, lulling you back to sleep right away. The elder was worried, he’s never seen the kid act this way, Aran’s story coming back to him just as it did to Atsumu. But at least Aran wasn’t stupid enough to bring the girl to the village, this was almost unprecedented, it happened once, and that’s why they were not pure foxes anymore but half breeds, this won’t be seen well by the rest of the village. “Osamu, once I heal her, we are taking her back to the forest before anyone else can see her, you hear me boy?” he was shaking his head, carefully applying a clean bandage on your left foot. “Kurosu-sama, her head. How is it?”

“She took a heavy blow against what I think was a rock, but it’s just a flesh wound, not what made her collapse. She is very malnourished and dehydrated, though. I’m going to make a tonic for her, stay here.” nodding, he looked around for a blanket, it was a chilly afternoon, seemed like it would rain again soon.

Once he was back, he saw you covered with one of his favorite blankets, Osamu had already cleaned your face and there was no sign of blood on you anymore. With a heavy sigh he handed him the tonic so he could give it to you, somehow, he felt like it would trigger the kid if he went any closer to you.

He took the small bowl with one hand and lifted your head carefully with the other, bringing the bowl to your lips. It started spilling all over the place, your lips just not opening wide enough for the liquid to go inside properly. “Kurosu-sama, is the tonic dangerous for me?” he was looking desperate at this point, half of the tonic already spilled, “No, why would it be dangerous for you-“ without letting him finish his sentence, Osamu took the remaining tonic in his mouth and pressed his lips against yours, making sure you would drink all the content as you should.

The healer was more flustered than Osamu himself at his actions, it wasn’t like he was trying to steal a kiss from you, he was just frustrated with the stupid bowl. “C’mon boy, let her rest. Let’s wait for her to wake up outside.” reluctantly, he obeyed.

•───────•°•❀•°•───────•

It took three full days for you to wake up, Samu never left your side, this causing the entire village to realize something was off.

He was not one to miss his shift at his parent’s owned restaurant, it was the only one in the village, so more than one villager realized he was missing. Atsumu was spotted a few times close to the healer’s house and Omimi was even more quiet than usual, this picked the leader’s interest.

The village used to be run by an elder woman, she was the eldest among all the current population of that side of the forest and had finally passed after a bountiful 5366 years of age. Her grandson was appointed as the new leader, despite his young age, he earned the respect of every single one of them, no one would go against his grandma’s wishes anyways.

You woke up to the feeling of something fuzzy poking your nostrils, making you sneeze. The sudden loud noise waking Samu up, one of his fuzzy ears was just a bit too close to your face. “Finally, you are awake.” he was rubbing his eyes tiredly, looking down at you like if sharing a futon with you was the most normal thing to do, forgetting this was the first time you’ve actually seen him. “Where am I?” all you could remember was the sharp pain on your head which was still present but way less intense. “We are at the healer’s house, I found you almost dead on the road, so I brought you to my village. Miya Osamu, by the way. My name.” you looked at him bashfully, he was handsome, but what had your attention were the fuzzy ears on the top of his head, a fox. “Is this the fox village? Did I find it?” your smile caught him off guard, giving you a short nod, “You were looking for my village? Why?” you were now sitting up beside him, taking in the building you were in, “Oh and I’m (Y/N) sorry, I got sidetracked. Thank you for saving my life, Miya-san. I will be forever in your debt. I was looking for your village because I have a rare bird produced disease. I actually came all the way here from the east side of the forest, my friends from the Tengu clan were trying to help me get rid of it, but not them nor the owl clan, not even the Bakeneko clan could find a way to fix it. I don’t mind dying. But I made a promise that I would try my best to survive. So, they sent me here as the last resort.”

The healer who was hearing everything from the other side of the wall, walked in unannounced, “We can’t help you girl. We might have overly long lives, but we aren’t gods. Our ways wouldn’t help you, we are different species.” your eyes wavered, a sad smile painted your features. Another dead end.

“Unless….” Samu stood up, looking at the healer. “Unless nothing, kid. She won’t receive Inari’s blessing.” you tugged on Osamu’s yukata, silently pleading for an explanation. He sat back down, looking into your eyes, “There’s an ancient legend that says if a human receives Inari’s blessing, they will become one of us. Since we aren’t mortal beings, your disease wouldn’t kill you.”

The leader of the village made his way inside the room where all of you were, having heard the last part of Osamu’s story, “Though, only one human had ever received such blessing, my grandfather, and he is dead, we aren’t completely immortal after all, we all die eventually. So, no one knows how he did it.” you bowed, imitating your new friend, he seemed like someone important. “But leader, the rest of the legend says that-“ Kita interrupted Osamu’s disrespectful outburst, “That true love from a fox and a human can bring Inari’s blessing. Yeah, I know. But my grandfather wasn’t sick, he lived here for ten years with my grandma, very much in love, before he received the blessing. So, we don’t know the whole story.” Osamu deflated next to you; would you even have ten years to figure it out? How long did love even take to flourish? What did true love even feel like?

More people kept coming in the healer’s house, now becoming an audience of some sort.

“I told him he should of just leave her to die on the road.” Atsumu scoffed, his harsh words making you coil behind Osamu.

“I’m not going to side with your brother, Osamu. You did a very noble thing; you have my respect for that. But you know it breaks the village rules, you can’t bring a human here. Not after what happened with my grandfather breaking the rules.” your head poked from the side of Osamu’s arm, looking at two toned haired fox. “What happened?” your voice was nothing but a whisper, but they all could hear you, “We are not a pure breed anymore.” your shaky hand held onto Samu’s strong arm for moral support, “Is…Is that a bad thing?” you were seriously curious, you’ve heard of the Bakeneko clan, they couldn’t care less for the origin of their partner, you actually found that endearing, even inspiring.

“Well, I don’t particularly think that way. But that’s how it’s always been, we don’t mess with rules around here.” the leader looked down at you, frowning, no wonder Osamu took a liking to you, you were just as disrespectful as he was.

“Almighty leader, may I say something?” the sarcastic son of the most prominent house of the village, the Suna family, spoke, coming out of nowhere. “You may.” he made some space for the new face to go into the room and revel on the presence of the newcomer. “All the elders expect our generation to bring pups and to not let our village die. But how are we supposed to do that when there’s only one girl around our age and that happens to be my sister, who’s very much sold to your family already? Wouldn’t it be convenient to have at least one more female around? Or do you expect me to make babies with the twin’s mother? Because I am very opposed to that, not even sure if she can even have more.” Osamu’s fist was clenching hard, placing a protective arm in front of you. “Don’t know what you are even talking about, Suna. Looks pretty claimed to me. What would you get out of this?” the man was now crawling his way over to you to peek behind the massive man guarding your form, a sly smirk on his face. “They just met, that’s not how we do things around here, the Miyas know this well.” he was a bit scary, didn’t give you the sense of safety Osamu did.

“He is right. It’s not first come first served. We would all have the same right to claim her, even you, leader.” Atsumu was now on your other side, making you shrink even more, holding onto Osamu for dear life, “Back off you low lives. You are scaring her.” his canines ready to bite an arm or two off any second now.

Heaving a deep disappointed sigh out, the leader straightened his back, a power display causing the younger foxes to retrieve. “While the claims of the Suna family might be accurate, this must be discussed with the eldest of the clans. We are indeed already a half breed, if we mix it with the same other half, it wouldn’t make the offspring any less pure than we are.” Samu released the breath he was holding at his words, relaxing his clenched fists, “This, however, will not guarantee you keeping the girl, Miya Osamu. And it will also not guarantee she will ever get Inari’s blessing. True love requires two hearts, feeling the same, weighing the same. We don’t need a woman who cannot provide offspring for the clan, so this isn’t up to me. All I can do is grant permission for the time being for her to be here. But you know the rules, she can’t go back to her world, she would have to stay here for good, or we would have to kill her.” he gave you one last look before leaving the house.

Osamu turned to look at you, he thought you would be crying at hearing such harsh words, but you were already destined to die, this wouldn’t shake your resolution. It was a complicated process though, is not like you can force a blessing from a god.

“Shall we go to my house? I’m sure we have enough room for you, at least until the leader dims you worthy of getting your own house.” you got up with his help, getting ready to walk to this new destination.

“Nah-uh. What did the leader say? The girl isn’t yours. Why would she stay in your house?” that blank stare and sly smirk were seriously giving you trust issues, he didn’t seem dangerous, it felt more like if he was desperate, but that was equally scary.

“Back off, Suna. She’s injured, scared and needs time to rest. It’s not time for romantic drama, besides, who do you think she would prefer being with? Someone who actually cares for her and is wiling to get kicked out of the village just to bring her to safety, or someone who’s just after her womb?” he was getting kicked out for you? Why? Why would he go to such lengths for a stranger…?

”So you are telling me that’s not what you’re after? What is it you wanna do with her, bake together? Do you think we are all stupid? I’m not letting the Miya family take the only girl available so easily, not without a fight, besides, we own the only inn in the village. Wouldn’t it be more suitable for a young unmarried woman to have her own room in a public inn rather than compromising her to not only one but two of her courtship options? That’s playing dirty.” he was going to take you away, wasn’t he? Samu could feel your heart rate pressed to his ribs, you were clearly scared and didn’t want to go with the sly fox.

“Hey, hey. Don’t be scared, you don’t have to go with him if you don’t want to.” he was cradling your face with one of his large hands, melting you to your bones. “Hands off, Samu. You’ve been awfully touchy with her, disgusting. I think she should go with Suna too. Even if that means I won’t have my share of time with her right now, at least it would keep you at a distance. Who would have thought you’d be such an intense rival.” you held his hand down from your face and padded your way over to the sly fox. “I…I don’t want to cause you any more troubles, you’ve already done so much for me. I’ll be ok.” the adoring look on your face, causing Samu’s lungs to stop working.

Suna guided you out of the house and towards his inn, a defeated looking Samu left alone to sulk in the now empty room.

“Don’t worry, I won’t hurt you in any way. I’m actually pretty harmless.” his comment startled you but you could see he was just trying to break the ice, “My mother will make sure to give you a proper room and we’ll take care of your meals. Just make sure to rest and recover quickly. I’m usually at the counter on the first floor, you can always come to me if you need anything. I won’t lock you away or anything like that. That’s not how you get someone to love you, I guess.” you gave him and appreciative smile and limped on your own towards his house. It annoyed him to his core to see how you were desperately clinging onto Osamu, almost cuddling him, but you refuse to ask for his help even if you are in obvious intense pain. This wouldn’t be an easy win for any of them.

•───────•°•❀•°•───────•

The Suna family was unexpectedly very warm and kind. They gave you a nice big room with a lovely view of the mountains. The sly fox told you to call him by his first name as in the village many people had the same last name it would just be confusing to all. He brought you a fluffy comfortable futon and dozens of kimonos for you to wear at your own convenience. He was doing the best he could, and you were grateful, you didn’t hate this side of him, he was in all truth very kind and funny even.

The leader of the village managed to convince the elders to give you time, give their protective god a chance. Reminded them of the legend once told by many, the one now hanging from the wall decorating the walls of his office. A prophecy of some sort.

The legend didn’t end there, there was more to it, though this bit wasn’t shared with the common folk, “Time will come when the true heir of Inari is born to humans and will bring happiness and prosperity to the village in decline...”

Kita believed in true love, that’s how his grandparents were able to be together for thousands of years helping to build the well balanced and prosper society they live in right now.

But will there be enough time for that?

○●○●○●○●●○●○●○●○●●○●○●○●○●●

Masterlist

[browniefox]

Another Week, Another Crisis Core Chapter!

Before playing this, I did a TON of sidequests (I got like 30% of them complete) which meant I didn't struggle against any enemies. on one hand, it meant I could get to focus on all the good scenes, but on the other hand, I didn't get to show off any of the new summons I'd gotten ;-;

God I love this church. Because this game works at break-neck pace, I doubt that Aerith and Zack are going to get, like, as many scenes together as I'd like, but I do think this chapter does a decent enough job starting to develop their relationship at the very least.

Zack is so tall I love it, and aw cute little date <3

While I got really frustrated with the little Bruno segment pretty fast, I do like that all the Slums citizens immediately clock Zack as not from around there, and immediately go to protecting Bruno. You can really feel the distrust and disconnect between those above and below plate.

I just Love Aerith <3

Where the general symbolism of monsters and angels is so heavy handed I roll my eyes every single time, I actually really loved this interaction between Zack and Aerith, when Aerith is talking about being afraid of SOLDIERS. To those who know Aerith's story, it's easy to see that she's both projecting her own desire to be normal (why in the world would people sign up to be made less normal?) as well as her own understandable trauma with the Shinra company, onto her thoughts and feelings on SOLDIERS.

Additionally, I love that she's actually scared of the sky. I think in teh Slums, that's not too rare of a feeling.

It's a shame that I feel like the Zack-Angeal relationship is done so poorly at the beginning, because this interaction really makes me start to like their dynamic! Angeal confiding in Zack and trusting Zack really says a lot. Also, I love the detail that Angeal has found that he likes flying, and just kind of carries Zack :D

I do think it's super funny though that it's way brighter and cheerier under the plate than on top of it, and that Zack just totally forgot and put off the mission he was on to go on a not-date with a cute girl.

THE FACT THAT THE FIRST THING ANGEAL SAYS TO SEPHIROTH IS THAT HE LOOKS THINNER SHIT BOYYYYY! I think it just does a lot to characterize their relationship, and especially how this whole thing has been affecting Sephiroth.

Genesis should have just killed Hojo. True good ending <3 It is funny to me that this segment ends with Hojo totally uninjured and honestly, probably happier than before bc he got to do random experiments on Zack.

They put so much effort into making Genesis' model look hot and honestly I love it. When I first saw Genesis in an amv, I thought he was a girl, and I guess that's my hot take for the day is that I think it'd be fun if he was. There is not one single female SOLDIER. There should be more women who got experimented on to be part of the army #feminism

This is here because I was hoping this quest line would mention Reeve, but it didn't and now I'm super disappointed.

I don't think I've seen anyone mention this before, but from this interaction it's implied that Zack is not Angeal's first mentee. Maybe perhaps his most promising, clearly the only one to make it to first, but Angeal had tried to instill his values onto other SOLDIERS.

And then my final thoughts for now is the interesting dynamic between infantry and SOLDIER. Before this game, I thought they were sort of the same group, but no they're actually two very distinct groups within Shinra. I also feel like infantry is often portrayed as always trying to become SOLDIER or something, but mostly there seems to be some resentment towards SOLDIER, and this hate that infantry will never be able to do as much as SOLDIER can. Very interesting, especially when considering Cloud.

[radical-revolution]

The last aspect of mindful healing is awareness of the universal laws that govern life. Central to it is an understanding of emptiness. This is most difficult to describe in words. In fact, while I can try to describe it here, the understanding of openness and emptiness will need to come directly through the experience of your own spiritual practice.

In Buddhist teaching, “emptiness” refers to a basic openness and non-separation that we experience when all small and fixed notions of our self are seen through or dissolved. We experience it when we see that our existence is transitory, that our body, heart, and mind arise out of the changing web of life, where nothing is disconnected or separate. The deepest experiences in meditation lead us to an intimate awareness of life’s essential openness and emptiness, of its ever-changing and unpossessable nature, of its nature as an unstoppable process.

The Buddha described human life as comprising a series of ever-changing processes: a physical process, a feeling process, a memory and recognition process, a thought and reaction process, and a consciousness process. These processes are dynamic and continuous, without a single element we can call our unchanging self. We ourselves are a process, woven together with life, without separateness. We arise like a wave out of the ocean of life, our tentative forms still one with the ocean. Some traditions call this ocean the Tao, the divine, the fertile void, the unborn. Out of it, our lives appear as reflections of the divine, as a movement or dance of consciousness. The most profound healing comes when we sense this process, this life-giving emptiness.

As our meditation practice deepens, we are able to see the movement of our experience. We note feelings and see that they last for only a few seconds. We pay attention to thoughts and see that they are ephemeral, that they come and go, uninvited, like clouds. We bring our awareness to the body and see that its boundaries are porous. In this practice, our sense of the solidity of a separate body or a separate mind starts to dissolve, and suddenly, unexpectedly, we find out how much at ease we are. As our meditation deepens still further we experience expansiveness, delight, and the freedom of our interconnectedness with all things, with the great mystery of our life. One hospice director experienced this interconnectedness as he sat with the children of dying sixty-five-year-old man outside his room. They had just received news that their father’s younger brother had been killed in a car accident and were struggling with whether or not to tell him. Their father was close to death and, fearing it would upset him, they decided not to speak of it. As they entered the room he looked up and said, “Don’t you have something to tell me?” They wondered what he could mean. “Why didn’t you tell me that my brother died?” Astonished, they asked how he had found out. “I’ve been talking with him for the past half hour,” said their father, who then called them to his bedside. He spoke some last words to each child and in ten minutes rested his head back and died.

The Tibetan teacher Kalu Rinpoche puts it this way:

“You live in illusion and the appearance of things. There is a reality, but you do not know this. When you understand this, you will see that you are nothing, and being nothing you are everything. That is all.”

Healing comes in touching this realm of nonseparation. We discover that our fears and desires, our attempts to enhance and defend ourselves, are based on delusion, on a sense of separateness that is fundamentally untrue.

In discovering the healing power of emptiness, we sense that everything is intertwined in a continuous movement, arising in certain forms that we call bodies or thoughts or feelings, and then dissolving or changing into new forms. With this wisdom we can open to one moment after another and live in the ever-changing Tao. We discover we can let go and trust, we can let the breath breathe itself and the natural movement of life carry us with ease.

Each dimension of our being, the body, the heart, and the mind, is healed through the same loving attention and care. Our attention can honor the body and discover the blessings of the physical life that has been given us. Attention can bring us fully into the heart to honor the whole range of our human feelings. It can heal the mind and help us to honor thought without being trapped by it. And it can open us to the great mystery of life, to the discovery of the emptiness and wholeness that we are and our fundamental unity with all things.

— Jack Kornfield, A Path with Heart

***

[estercity]

now that we have all 18 i'm posting my personal project voltage ranking :]

PSYCHIC TYPE MIKU - 4/10 it's fine. its the closest to base miku of all the designs? like this is what i'd imagine if we got a miku collab in the newest games. nothing about ti really says psychic type to me though, which is why its low

GRASS TYPE MIKU - 2/10 i hate this design. not only is it boring but i don't like the colours, i think it looks messy and it might be the style disconnect or the design itself but if you didn't tell me who this was i wouldn't think it was miku. a grass type cheerleader doesn't sound like a bad shout which is why im so sad it sucks

FIRE TYPE MIKU - 5/10 . its just basic. it gets one point more than psychic because i have fire type bias but other than that its underwhelming. idk whats going on with her legs either? is it like exposed robotics? idk its just a miss for me

WATER TYPE MIKU - 8/10 this is so cute. the water textured hair, the tan lines, the like lifeguard gear(?) and the pokeball beach ball? it all comes together so well. i don';t think you can really go wrong with a water type design? even if i don't love water types myself you can't deny their designs just come together

ELECTRIC TYPE MIKU - 10/10 oh baby girl my BIAS i fucking love electric miku. shifting her blue accents into green, giving her a suit and making her a split-dye blonde were all such good decisions. i love the silhouette of the big puff pants tucked into the rubber boots and the suspenders with the lightening cane. everything about this makes me so happy

NORMAL TYPE MIKU - 9/10 i might be going back on what i said with psychic miku but to me even though it's very reminicant of base miku, it works better AND does enough to set her in her own typing. the multicoloured accessories, the rings, the glasses and the body suit. if we ever did get a real collab of her in game i hope this is the direction they'd go

ICE TYPE MIKU - 8/10 full disclaimer so much of this is just because im obsessed with her hair and suit combo. shes not outright evil looking like dark type but i still feel like shes a rival with a lot of power, anbd tbf a lot of ice type characters are made to be Icy in personality. my only gripes are the red bag chain and the open heels

ROCK TYPE MIKU - 6/10 its fine! it might be because i dont like the colour scheme or that i'm not a huge fan of all the flowy fabric, (especially because it directly follows ice type miku which made a point to utalise the sharpness you'd associate with ice) but i just doesn't wow me.

GROUND TYPE MIKU - 7/10 i really love this design, i adore the colour scheme and the cactus braids, i think she looks like a trainer you'd be ambushed by in the desert and the soundtrack would kick up and it'd RULE... my drawback is i don't think she looks like miku? i thought she was gumi at first and now i can't really unsee it. but eh im nitpicking

FLYING TYPE MIKU - 5/10 again, i like it but its very standard for a flying type character. the cloud braids and the sheer sleeves are fun! they're definately my favouritre part of the design. idk why her legs are painted white, i think they look kind of silly and im confused about the platform sandles but other than that its fine

FAIRY TYPE MIKU - 6/10 a cute miku design for a cute pokemon type, can't really go wrong with that. i enjoy that they didn't go lolita style with her, which i fully assumed was going to the case, but instead a gal type with the fake nails and pleat skirt. i enjoy that its a different way of doing a look for miku we've seen plenty of times before

BUG TYPE MIKU - 6/10 i don't hate it! very simple but very effective. i like the segmented limbs, the insectoid braids, the wing bow that looks like butterfly wings. i'm just not super enthusiastic about the colours. maybe i'm just used to bug types being Creepier in my head so to just have her be cutesy is boring to me

POISON TYPE MIKU - 9/10 this is such a baity designnnn the only reason i didnt give it a 10 is because i hate that shade of green but thats a personal issue. the plastic baggy shoes, the toxtricity, the mad scientist goggles and latex gloves... it all comes together so beautifully. idk if its like too busy or again, maybe i just personally don't love the individual colours used. i really hope elements of this design are used for a future character

GHOST TYPE MIKU - 4/10 i honestly don't like this design. yeah lets make the ghost type miku... a ghost, and nothing else. i think it's really boring compared to all the other ones. the glitch element is really cool but that's... all thats going for it? the colour scheme is the same, the neon is boring and i think everything is very stylish for pokemon but idk i wish it was more unique

DARK TYPE MIKU - 10/10 babe holy shit. this is a gorgeous design, i'm so happy they went an evil miku route with it. i was going to say i wish there was more red, and then i noticed the underside of the hat in the other concept so i'm happy. shifting the cyan to the bottom of the design is a really good call. she looks expensive as she should

STEEL TYPE MIKU - 10/10 absolutely beautiful colour scheme, shifting everything to metalic shades of blue is perfect. i think it's my favourite overall. very strong typing without them just doing Robot which i assumed. LOVE the metal braids with the welded patches the most, and i jsut noticed theyre kind of shaped like leeks. the charm on the sandogasa and the arm/calf guards really bring it all together

FIGHTING TYPE MIKU - 8/10 the black, white and orange is gorgeous and i love the splash of green connecting to sir farfetched. i'm just not inlove with the leg split tbh, i think if it was a cape i'd like it more. i think my main drawback is idk it doesn't scream fighting type to me other than it being based on the pokemon

DRAGON TYPE MIKU - 9/10 AND IMMEDIATELY MY PRAYERS WERE ANSWERED. the cape really completes the knight motif of this design perfectly where i think the previous one lacked. the scale decor jumpsuit, the gauntlets and boots, the SWORD MIC and the tail braids. they really did keep getting better and whilst this isnt my favourite its such a strong finisher