#my poor poor tormented girlies <- person tormenting the girlies

[organised-disaster]

Made some Snowbird things using this picrew

[lovdlydaz]

❝ TOUCH ME WHERE YOU NEED TO, I CAN GIVE YOU MORE. ❞

loser!choi soobin x black!afab!reader

poor soobin, always been tortured and bullied at school just for being different and caring about his grades. but, need not worry, as you, his lovely best friend, show him things he would only ever dream about.

warnings: virgin!soobin, pervy!soobin, switch!reader, subby soobie, p in v, unprotected sex, m!masturbation, butt loads of praise, little tidbits of degradation, pet names, mommy kink, big dick soobin, js soobin being a little wimp enjoy

a/n: sorry for being so absent y'all, a lot has happened over these past months and i've been on and off in this community. i will try my hardest to get back in full swing since it is summer for me, but it isn't a promised guarantee. however, i will be writing more content for both k-pop and anime, since both are very prevalent in my headspace rn. but subby stupid loser soobin has been rotting in my mind for so long i just had to write about it, so please enjoy this as much as i most definitely did. love y'all, enjoy!!

it was never a quiet day in soobin's life, having to deal with all sorts of things from his work being shoved off his desk to food being thrown at him during lunch hours. this was his senior year of college and, by now, these childish adults should be over this phase right? but, sadly, since he had told people that he thought were his friends that he hadn't been laid ever in his life, they told the entire school and now every person that he comes in contact with either tries to seduce him or make fun of him because of this fact.

but not you, you were different.

soobin had always taken a liking to you, being his roommate and the one person that he could be himself with. he didn't have to make up a persona or have to be this way in order to be accepted, no, you liked and had in common some stuff that he liked, like anime and DnD. he was more than grateful that you didn't torment him like half of the school did, and that you were a pure soul that could do no wrong.

he followed you like a puppy ever since you two met, which you didn't mind but it sort of gave you scary dog privileges. every time you went to the store, he was right besides you with his headphones around his neck and hands in his pockets. no guys would try to mess with you since your 6'1 guy best friend looked like he could kill someone, but he would never.

he would wander off in parts of the store and come back with different manga/funko pops he would find of his favorite anime characters, begging you to buy them for him since he didn't have a stable job nor stable money. you were kind enough to buy it for him and watch him add it to his collection of funko pops on his shelf filled with manga and figurines and all sorts of other things. you watched as he happily organized his collection, giggling like a little girl as he stacked jujutsu kaisen volumes together like a jenga puzzle.

everything he did, you found adorable and innocent. however, he was far from it.

while you were asleep, he would crawl into your room and go through your dirty laundry, grabbing your freshly used underwear and crawling back to his room with them. he would hold them until his nose as he jerked off, moaning your name as he orgasmed right on them. of course he would wash them and put them back in your drawer without you noticing, but you never seemed to wake up despite all of that.

soobin never felt guilty about it either, since that was the closest thing to sex that he would ever get, that he thought of.

one day, you two were walking to the mall, your hair bouncing with your steps due to your letting your curls out in a controlled afro. he watched your smaller form move with your little pink skirt with your pink clothes and nice pink accessories. you had a bit of a bimbo aesthetic, not really so but you dressed in girly colors and girly clothes, never giving a care in the world what others had to say.

you were going to the store to go to a store that soobin specifically wanted to go to. it was a clothing store that also had some mangas in the back of them, but this time he didn't go for the mangas. instead, he wanted to go to the men's section to see what clothes he could get, since he had been wearing the same 5 hoodies ever since his freshman year. you went over with him of course, since you had fashion sense that he had no clue of what that even meant.

he looked at a shirt that had some cool little cartoon designs on it, along with some baggy jeans that had stars on them. he turned to you and held them out, your eyes lighting up and nodding at him for approval. "yes soobie! that fit is so hard," you giggled, soobin smiling at your excitement but he was heading to the changing room. you followed behind him, watching him as he went into the men's room.

he came out in the outfit and it looked so good on him, a little too good in fact. it had your eyes raise in shock and you biting your lip, his whole aesthetic was coming together nicely and it had you feeling things you thought you wouldn't feel for a while. especially for your best friend since freshman year, which was probably why and how these feelings developed overtime.

you chewed your lip as he walked up to you, holding his arms out and looking down at you. "you really do like it?" he asked, pushing his hair out of his face so he could see your face better. "y... yes! yes i do like it choi. it looks really good on you," you softly spoke, making him raise an eyebrow in confusion but he didn't think much of it. he just shrugged and went back to the changing room, getting his regular clothes on and taking the store clothes off.

after that, the whole day was filled with soobin using pinterest as his inspiration to find the coolest outfits that fit his aesthetic. you were happy he was finally starting to gain some confidence in his clothes, the outfits getting from baggy to tight to baggier to tighter. he had a good body so each outfit fit him perfectly, and you enjoyed the tighter outfits better than the baggy ones.

it was starting to get dark outside, so that was when you decided it was time to leave. you grabbed all of your shopping bags (you and soobin's), before the taller man stopped you. "oh y/n, you don't have to carry all the bags. let me do it," and he did. he grabbed all the bags out of your hands with no struggle, walking them to your car and putting them in the back. you smiled and followed after him, loving how kind he was towards you.

it was a nice drive home and you were enjoying his company, even though he was yapping to you about the newest episode of mha that had just came out that day. he had watched it before you two had left and it was plaguing his mind the whole time. he was so excited about it, even though he had the entire manga on his bookshelf that he read about 10 times in the span of 2 years. you didn't mind it however, since he was so cute when he was excited.

once you two got back to the dorms he took all the bags up the stairs and into your shared rooms, you right behind him and opening the door for him since his hands were very full. he walked in and dropped the bags down on the couch, turning around to see you closing the door behind him and locking it. he smiled as he made his way over to the kitchen, immediately going to the fridge since he was a bit hungry from all the escapades you both had went on.

you had decided to cook for the evening, letting him have time to grab all the bags and put them in your respective rooms. he realized how much you really spent on him and yourself, and he was just wondering how in the hell you had so much money. but, then he remembered that you did have a super rich family, and you were very smart so the school was paying you on a full academic scholarship. he was more than grateful though, so he would do something in order to make it up to you.

he would just have to think about it.

even though soobin was a loser and unemployed, he promised that he would still try to get you something special. just because you were his best friend didn't mean that he couldn't treat you nicely. so, he went to a store that you absolutely loved, a makeup store at that, and bought an item that you had wanted but it was out of stock when you both had went the other day. he also purchased a little bag with some stuffing paper, making it a nice little gift with a card inside.

he set it down on your bed when you were at class, since he didn't have class today. and since he didn't have class, he was going to cook for when you got home.

it took a lot of trials and tribulations in order to make a meal that he assumed would remind you of your home back in america, so it was a standard american meal. chicken tenders with fries and some fruit punch on the side. he made the chicken tenders from scratch and used some seasonings that you had brought from your home back there to use in the food. he knew that you were going to love this, and he was all the way right.

as soon as you got home your nose was hit with the wonderful scent of very good food in the kitchen, a smile on your face as you walked over to where the scent was originating from. you were pleasantly surprised to see choi soobin in the kitchen, wearing a tank top and shorts while cooking some more fries. you couldn't hold back your gratitude, going up to him and hugging him tightly.

"thanks soobie! you're the greatest person in the entire world," you beamed, making him 1. blush, 2. stutter over his words and 3. involuntarily gain a massive boner from the hug. he was very thankful for the baggy shorts however, and how he had tucked his cock in his pants to where it was barely noticeable. you did notice though, but you didn't speak about it.

the dinner was filled with laughter and gossip, you telling him about your girl drama while he ranted to you about his gaming prowess. it was a great dinner, and you were both very tuckered out by the time the sun fell.

going to your room you went to grab some clothes, putting your freshly done braids in your bonnet before going to the bathroom and closing the door. that gave soobin the advantage of going into your room and laying on your pillow. he could smell every bit of you, every single scent that lingered on you today was on the pillow and god did it make him hard as a rock.

he palmed himself through his shorts, groaning soft chants of your name and getting so caught up in it that he hadn't realized the shower had cut off, and you were now watching him with a towel wrapped around your body.

his glasses were fallen off his face at this point, tilted as he softly whimpered praise about how you smelled and how pretty you looked. he was so desperate for you that he couldn't stop himself from imagining how your pussy felt, how it smelled, how it tasted, everything about it. he wanted you so badly but he was too much of a pussy to ask you out, and too scared to lose the friendship that he had worked so hard to maintain.

you were his only friend, he couldn't lose one of the only people that understood how he was and why he was this way. he couldn't lose you, so that's why he only fantasized about you.

so, when he finally came back from his imagination his eyes traveled everywhere until they were met with yours. he jumped so hard he tumbled off the bed, quickly getting up and going to leave before you stopped him, despite you being much shorter and weaker than he was. he still let you stop him by standing in his way, giving him a fake disgusted expression even though you were dripping on your thighs right now.

"soobin, what the fuck?" you spat, making the pale boy look down in shame and fear. he knew that he was going to fuck this up, so small tears came into his eyes as the realization of what he had done and the punishment for it finally crawled into his mind. "y/n i— i'm so sorry... i'll leave if you want i... i'm sorry." he mumbled softly, trying to push past you but you didn't let him.

your hand traveled to his chin and you tilted it up, forcing him to look down at you, but in the eyes this time. you didn't say anything, but you just wiped his tears away and smiled sweetly at him. "soobie... don't cry. i'm not mad or disgusted at all, i'm just a little shocked is all," you admitted sincerely, making him raise an eyebrow in confusion. "why are you shocked?" he asked, making you chew on your lip and remove your hands from his face.

"well... i mean, this is one of the first times i've had a guy come into my room and sniff my pillows while moaning my name. so who wouldn't be a little shocked in this situation?" you giggled, making him loosen up a little bit. "yeah... you're right. so... you're not mad at all?" he softly questioned, making you shake your head. "no choi, i'm not mad at all," you reiterated, making him smile brightly at that.

however, you were pretty desperate as well, soaking between your legs and you were still very much naked underneath the towel. soobin also noticed how your voluptuous breasts were starting to poke through the towel, making them a lot more perky than he would normally see them. he could feel his cock throb at that, him gulping a little to keep the saliva from crawling out of his mouth. "though..." you trailed off, making him snap back to reality and realize that he was basically staring dead at your chest.

"it was pretty hot seeing you like that honestly... i know you've never had sex or a girlfriend before, so... i want to ask something of you," you got closer to him, standing on your tippy toes to try to be even with the man's face. "can i be your first?" you asked, not making a move until he said something. he lost his breath as soon as you asked that, mouth dry and heart threatening to pump straight out of his chest because of that revelation.

he needed a second to come down from cloud nine in order to answer you, so you let him. after a second though he nodded his head, you leaning forward and pressing a soft kiss to his lips. his eyes widened in shock, he had never kissed a girl before, and this was like heaven on earth. he was so happy to be tasting your lips as his first time, and... you would be his first time for everything.

despite his avid use of the orange and black website that most pre-teens to bitchless adults go to for entertainment, he didn't have a fucking clue of what the hell he was doing. he just knew that you weren't letting go of the kiss, so he wouldn't either. that was until you did pull away, which had him chasing your lips desperately because he didn't want to let them go. he just wanted to be near you and be all over you, which he would in a while.

you giggled and got off your tippy toes, grabbing his hand and pulling him to the bed. you put yourself on the bed and laid down, beckoning him to come over to you. he did so in an instant, he was so obedient and it was turning you on even more. you grabbed his face and started to kiss him deeper, having him on top of you made this even better since you could feel all of him all over your body and feel the way he squirmed under your touch.

you could tell that he was very nervous, the way he couldn't even touch your body and how stiff he was in the kiss was a tell-tale sign of it all. so, you pulled away (much to his dismay) and placed a hand on his chubby bunny cheeks. "soobie, you don't have to be so tense with me. i know this is your first time being intimate with someone, but you have to trust me, okay baby?" you spoke in a compassionate tone, the pet name just slipping out. he obviously didn't object to that but it seriously caught him off guard, which made his cheeks redden with a small nod.

you smiled softly at him before sitting up, gently pushing him down so now his head was at the edge of your bed. you took the towel and sat up on your knees, slowly removing it and exposing your naked beautiful body. well, he saw it as beautiful, even though you had some chub around your hips and thighs, but he didn't mind that. in fact, it seemed to turn him on more. he saw every aspect of you as a goddess in his mind, a person who could do absolutely no wrong. he was so in love with you, and he was very happy that he was able to get his virginity taken by someone like you.

once the towel was off you threw it to the ground, crawling towards soobin and straddling his hips. you leaned down and started to softly kiss his neck, causing him to let out a shocked noise at the sudden feeling of your plump lips on his sensitive neck. quite frankly, everywhere on him was sensitive, despite how many sessions him and his right hand had late at night. maybe because it was you, he wasn't quite sure. he just wanted this feeling to continue.

you trailed your lips down to his covered chest, looking at him and basically asking with your eyes if you could take off his tank top. "can i?" which was followed by an immediate "yes mommy," which had you a little taken aback. once he realized what he had just said he sat up quick, knocking you back a little and forcing your ass straight onto his clothes cock. he bit back a groan as small tears gathered in his eyes, covering his face and hiding it with his large ass hands.

" 'm sorry y/n— i-i didn't mean to say that it just— it just slipped out," he was basically pleading with you not to leave, he wanted to lose his virginity to you, he wanted you to take him however you wanted him to. he was about to cry when you just chuckled and kissed his cheek, making him flush harder. "choi, it's okay. you don't have to be so scared to try things with me. if i don't like it, i'll tell you. if i do like it, then i'll also tell you. and i quite frankly love that name. you can keep calling me that if you're comfortable with it, because i sure am," you told him, making him nod his head and softly smile at you. "okay... mommy."

now that that was out of the way, you went to go remove his top and he let you, holding his arms up and the top coming straight off. he then decided to slip off his shorts and boxers, leaving you both completely naked under each other's gaze. he was so beautiful, sleeper-ish build with silky smooth skin that you wanted to ruin. he was so perfect... god he would be the perfect man.

your lips connected again and this time soobin immediately melted into it, relaxing himself as you went back to straddle his lap. your ass was right on his cock, softly rubbing against just to see how his face scrunched up with pleasure in the kiss, swallowing up all his sounds. he loved this, this was everything he could've ever dreamed of. he was about the fuck the girl of his dreams, the reality hitting him like a pleasant surprise. he couldn't hold back the dripping of pre-cum that was all over your ass by now, making him even more embarrassed than he was before. however, you thought it was hot, and you wanted him to cum deep inside you.

this time, he was the one to pull away, panting softly as he looked at you with those bright eyes of his. "please... m-mommy just— just use me, i need it so bad," he begged you with such a whiny voice, god it had you throbbing so hard. you both were needy for each other and it showed with every action you two made towards each other. so, you didn't keep him waiting for long.

"of course baby," you cooed, biting your lip before starting to get yourself situated. you put your hands on his shoulders and stood up on your knees, guiding yourself to be right above his aching cock. he gulped as you started to sink down on his ridiculously big cock. seriously, how in the hell did he keep such a monster like this in his pants? you struggled a little as you tried to sink down, realizing that you would need soobin's help in order to fully go down.

though, when you looked to ask him for help the man was so far good, eyes in a daze and mouth open and panting heavily. he looked hot as shit but you needed his assistance in trying to get yourself fully around his cock, so you put a hand on his cheek even with your trembling hand. "binnie... c—can you please help me? you're... way too big—" you strained out, feeling the pain starting to kick in despite your wetness. this man was fucking huge and he didn't even know it, but he would help you at any means necessary.

so, he grabbed your hips and, with a little jerk of his arms, slammed you right onto his cock. this motion caused you and him to both moan out in pleasure, you arching your back and soobin's eyes rolling to the back of his head. after you both came down you started to slowly move your hips, your wetness covering his area so sloppily it was exactly like a porn video. he was mesmerized by your body and how fluidly you could move, he was in a trance by your hips. so much so that he involuntarily thrusted his hips upwards, causing you to moan out in pleasure but causing him to quickly stop your hips, confusing you.

"w— what's wrong bin?" you asked, trying to keep your voice steady but you were already close to your orgasm. "that didn't hurt? what i just did?" he asked, which just made you softly giggle. "no soobin, it didn't hurt at all. please do it again," you pleaded, making something in the man switch by your begging.

he grabbed you and slammed you onto the bed, pulling your hips forward and ramming deep inside you. meanwhile he had no clue what the hell he was doing, he was just trying to follow what porn had taught him. although, he could tell that you were enjoying it by the way your noises increased in volume, how more fidgety you were because of the immense amount of pleasure he was giving you. so, he continued with his unorganized pace, still moaning alongside you as he did so.

"b-bin— fuck baby 'm's'close—" you whined, making him speed up a little as well. "f-fuck... me too mommy, m-me too—" he whimpered alongside you, you pulling him down for a steamy wet kiss. this instantly had the man's hips stuttering, shoving himself as deep as he could right into your g-spot, his cum flowing against it which had you clenching around him as well. your noises were equally swallowed by each other, this being the most intense orgasm both of you have had in your lives.

after a few minutes you both came down from your highs, you looking at the man above you who was a wreck. his glasses were basically off of his face now, lips red and swollen from your kissing, pupils blown and dazed with a red face to top it all off. he was so sexy, but he was on the verge of passing out. so were you, since that orgasm took a lot out of you. so, you both decided it would be nice to just lay next to each other, but not before deciding something.

"u-uhm... y/n?" choi chirped, making you turn your head in his direction. "hm?" "what... are we now?" he sheepishly pondered, you reaching a hand out and massaging his face. "boyfriend and girlfriend silly," you smiled softly, while he grinned brightly. "really?" "mhm. now goodnight baby, see you in the morning." your drowsy voice stated before he held you in his arms, you easily falling asleep. however, he couldn't sleep, because his mind was racing with so many things that sleep didn't come until the early morning.

which wasn't a problem, since you both slept until 1pm that day.

© gg 2023. dividers were made by me. do not steal, use, or repost my work without my consent. reblogging/interaction is welcomed.

[emo-batboy]

i'd like the chart thanks!

Also, there's another person who wants to rp Leo, can they?

Okay a few people are asking for the chart so here’s the current chart!! (I took out some characters that are still not as fleshed out. That includes Nathan, Ria, Nina, Ashley, Zoe, Ray, Maggie, and the hater and Metropolis characters, but they’re all filler characters rn)

A Wild Battinson Character Lore Continuity

- Felicity

- Oldest of the bunch, right between Millennial and Gen Z

- Works at an office, besties with everyone there. Corporate girlie (does use the term girlboss)

- Like if a Gothamite/Bruce Wayne fan was swiftie-coded?

- She has a pet pitbull, you know that kind of white girl

- Tatum

- Goth U, Comp Sci major

- Keeps everyone he knows online at arms length so we don’t know much, has a small close knit friend group irl but he’s also mutuals with everybody on twitter because he’s that kinda guy yk?

- But they’re slowly convincing him. He’s getting there

- Marzia

- Oh god poor Marzia

- Italian, born in Northern Italy, English is her second language but you wouldn’t be able to tell if it weren’t for her slight accent

- Biggest Bruce Wayne stan, will go feral, but only gets replies from him at the worst moments possible

- *snorts like cocaine* “Please don’t do cocaine” is my personal favorite

- Goth U, she gives art major vibes but tacked on a double major in psychology last minute so now she’s staying a fifth year

- Reads smut, writes smut, part of the poetry club, def on booktok, you know the type

- Alejandro

- Runs an ice cream stand in the park on the weekends when it’s warm enough

- Bi, Dating Leo (pfp is them holding hands because he’s a whipped son of a bitch)

- He’s like if that normal-looking kind of athletic guy who always wore sweatshirts and basketball shorts to class just suddenly mentioned he had a boyfriend one day.

- He’s straight-coded but more specifically “the straight guy that gay guys have crushes on against their better judgement”-coded

- Knew the whole time he was bi but never REALLY liked a guy until Leo 🥺. whenever he looks at Leo, he’s got those madly in love eyes

- Thinks Batman is hot and suffers constant torment from Leo (who has a crush on Bruce) because of it

- Ale just wants to be bench pressed is that too much to ask? But It’s his fault he’s a twunk dating a twink so—

- Goth U, Really interested in tech stuff but he’s actually a sports medicine major. He wants to be a physical therapist for athletes

- Cannot hold his liquor

- Smile Watch

- Who knows

- It’s a mystery

- Lela

- Goth Girl

- BFF’s with Nico (goth girl, e-boy solidarity)

- Also good friends with Natalie, they lined up all their gen Ed’s together

- Chill in a Morticia Addams kinda way. She is Morticia Addams actually

- Mom owns a convenience store, she helps out after classes a lot

- Studied for the MCAT, did pretty well, she wants to be a doctor (probably neurosurgeon but it depends on what internship she gets)

- Currently completing the undergrad to grad program at Goth University with a masters in public health

- Natalie

- Former intern, now ASSISTANT at Wayne Press

- Got the job because she impressed Bruce with her good reporting skills, now works mostly on organizing press releases and maintaining Bruce’s public image

- Great at her job because she knows social media and Bruce Wayne Stans the best (she is one obv)

- (Babysits Bruce when Alfred is busy, how did this happen, why is this her job now? She’s tired of his shit lol)

- Still technically working part-time because she hasn’t gotten her degree yet, but she’s set to work full time after she graduates Goth U in May

- Sometimes while sitting at her desk she just gets that perspective shift where she’s like “how did I get here” Bruce Wayne Stans’ dreams do come true

- Caleb 🤡

- Literally 18/19 but aging faster than humanly possible with the stress he’s under

- Used to work at Bat Burger, left because the babysitting gig required more time

- Lives with his aunt who’s already retired (used to live alone, she never had kids or a husband so she’s loaded) He’s staying cuz his parents are super busy and travel for work :) and guess what crime-filled alley their window overlooks? I’ll give you one guess

- Babysits Tim, used to be a less serious gig but his parents have been out of town a lot lately (just vacationing without their child 🙄) and thankfully Caleb lives right across from their swanky apartment so he’s practically a nanny now (read: older sibling/third parent)

- Took a ton of childcare courses for this job and now he’s kind of interested in working at a daycare maybe? If Tim doesn’t kill him in his sleep first

- Recently graduated Goth High, now takes online classes at Goth Community College while deciding what to do with his life

- Jarod

- Recently graduated Goth High, now taking a gap year before starting GothU in the fall. Him and Caleb were always in the same classes so they’re super close (they’re the youngest)

- Future Comp Sci/English major (he wants to be a video game writer)

- Has a younger sister, and technically the oldest child but spiritually he’s the middle child.

- His parents and Priyanka’s parents are close friends so he kind of grew up seeing Priyanka as an older sister. That’s why they’re Like That.

- Literally so fed up with Priyanka, it’s not even funny (yes it is) but the second you’re rude to Priyanka, he will deck you, watch yourself

- Katie (Sweater Thief)

- ER Nurse at Gotham General Hospital, mostly does night shifts

- Gives chronically online energy when she’s online, but everyone in real life wouldn’t suspect a thing because she’s so good at having her life together (the code switch will give you whiplash)

- Surprisingly older than most of the others despite being Like That.

- Literally graduated with a 4.2 GPA how tf?

- BFF’s with Leo then became BFF’s with Ale too after they started dating (she is slowly corrupting Ale and I think that’s beautiful)

- Creator of the Babygirl Bruce Wayne Agenda and PROUD

- Priyanka

- Works at coffee shop owned by her mom called Caffe Mood. She plans to run it one day. Currently a barista

- Goth U, business major (accounting)

- Bilingual, knows Hindi

- LESBIAN QUEEN

- Despite being gay, She is allowed to think Bruce Wayne is hot, that is her Right

- Mad fucking crush on Georgia, calls her Georgie. Intends to never tell a soul. Will fail miserably

- Dead fucking set on the idea that Batman’s a vampire

- But she thinks everyone’s a vampire so—

- Her parents and Jarod’s parents are close friends so she kind of grew up seeing Jarod as a younger brother. That’s why they’re Like That

- Jarod is constantly on her nerves, wtf Jarod (but be mean to him and she’ll kill you)

- Leo

- Works at bookstore called Gotham City Bookstore

- Gay, Dating Alejandro

- Twink (derogatory)

- Swears his gaydar is the most accurate there is (always wrong)

- Made being gay his entire personality because he had an identity crisis in middle school and proceeded to have a massive crush on some straight guy all of high school (that guy was Ale, Leo’s gaydar is so off)

- BFF’s with Katie despite being a few years younger. They were in a high school production of Sweeney Todd together and the rest was history

- Calls every single celebrity gay as a joke, Ale reigns him in if he’s getting too out of hand

- Used to have a mad celebrity crush on Bruce, still kinda (definitely) does

- Attends GothU, undecided for a while but ultimately settled on mathematics because it’s ironically his best subject

- One of those mf’s that needs to be held back at all costs, god help Ale

- Rose 🌹

- Works a tailoring job full time

- Good friends with Felicity, she’s like the black cat to Felicity’s golden retriever

- 70% super nice and chill, 30% wild card party girl

- Gets drinks with friends a lot, tweets when drunk but no one can tell the difference. It’s amazing

- Does not seem horny, is horny. But like normal about it? If that’s a thing

- Nico

- Kinda plays the straight man of the group if the straight man was emo

- BFF’s with Lela (e-boy, goth girl solidarity)

- KING of twitter roasts. He makes memes to end lives.

- Pansexual, single, and probably writing bad poetry in his diary about it but don’t tell anyone

- Goth U, actually dunno the major. Probs public health with Lela but doesn’t want to be a doctor. More like research parallel to social sciences

- Has a 8/9yo sister named Madelaine whom he would die for despite not expecting to be an older brother so late in the game (what were his parents thinking)

- Has tea parties with her and all that jazz. She steals his eyeliner and chain accessories all the time, also she’s friends with Dick and Barbie (yes, Barbara Gordon) so sometimes he watches over their play dates

- He’s a “tough emo boy” so he totally doesn’t laugh at Madelaine’s puns. He’s a bitch ass liar

- Kellyanne

- GothU, marine biology. Transferred from GCCC with an associates degree to save money but now she’s got a full ride cuz of the WE higher education fund

- More recent Bruce Stan

- Pretty poor upbringing, that’s how she met Bruce Wayne. He bought her whole family groceries one night after her card declined at the convenience store trying to buy dinner

- Now she’s in it for the long haul :)

- Lia

- GothU, fashion merchandising

- A GIRL’S GIRL

- Older sister also attends Goth U, but she’s in med school

- More recent Bruce Wayne stan, still not particularly in with the culture and jokes but getting there

- Friends with Georgia and Elizabeth irl. Elizabeth was in the same sorority before graduating first. Got to know Georgia after Lia found her dog with Bruce at the park outside GothU. They party together now

- Elizabeth

- Graduated GothU last May and worked an internship at LexCorp, immediately regretted it but snagged a job at WE (thank god)

- Now works as a research assistant at Wayne Tech in the R&D department for commercial products

- Didn’t really get the whole Bruce Wayne Stan thing until Bruce Wayne personally wished her a happy birthday?? The man is so sweet?

- Absolutely loves her job but still screams at rubber ducks over faulty code in her little cubicle, but that’s the industry she chose so it’s a give and take

- Met Natalie through Stan twitter and now they DM each other about working at Wayne Enterprises

- Doesn’t post much on twitter but follows the main Bruce Stan accounts, irl friends with Lia and Georgia

- Georgia

- Has a dog named Bean

- GothU, majoring in like three languages, polyglot (including Hindi 😏)

- Works at a retail home decor kinda store (home goods?)

- So lesbian-coded, but does not know it yet. Priyanka is her gay awakening. She is now a regular at Caffe Mood (She thinks she just likes the coffee (yeah right))

- Works at Goth U’s admissions department over the summer too

- Once got drunk and locked herself onto a roof by accident, ended up hanging out with Batman (he offered to break into her apartment for her but she said “nah”)

- Jane

- Works at Wayne Enterprises

- Runs bring your kid to work day (idk what her actual job is but she’s an Essential Worker, okay?)

- Very sweet, 10/10, looks on the bright side but never in a toxic positivity way

- Super social too, became work friends with Bruce because she’s nice but not draining to his social battery? They have lunch on occasion

- Watched the Graysons die with Bruce, call that trauma bonding

- Watched her toxic ex’s car burn to a crisp after a joker spree and took a selfie with it (she can have a little revenge, as a treat)

[wiifuck]

for the ask meme: Maximum Ride!

you know me so well

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most)

Honestly, Max. There's something really special about her that sticks throughout the series. For a YA novel she is very complex. She's been through intense trauma that has led to her coping through parentification at 14 years old. She takes on so many responsibilities, and a lot of it are things she has put on herself due to being let down by the people she trusts. But she's also a kid! She's a kid and I wish the series explored how much this crushes a person.

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped)

I do love Gazzy. I hate his name but I love my boy. He's such a good brother to his sister and it deserved to be explored more.

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave)

NUDGE! My girl Nudge. She's the only black character in the group and the series never explores that. They never explore the special type of care she needs (like hair) or how she's treated by others. She rambles like me and all she wants is to be a kid! I feel like Max is wrong in disrespecting her girly interests or writing her off as a blabbermouth. She's intelligent, quick-witted, and loves intensely!

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week) The schizophrenic boy they found in the sewers in Book 1 that never was seen again. His depiction wasn't horrendous. In fact, he's depicted to be very smart and his justification for his actions can be relatable to people of his condition. But literally he's there for like a few pages which makes him jarring as a character.

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave) Ari. I'm mad because James Patterson neglects the fact that he's only 7 and writes his character motivation to be weirdly incestuous in the second book and then it's dropped in the third book. He's a traumatized child in the body of a monster. His shallow plans and intense hatred makes sense for an emotionally stunted person. He shined in the third book when he was faced with his mortality. The fact that he never learned how to write his own name is tragic.

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason) Angel. I love her but holy shit is she overpowered and is given way too much attention compared to the other members like Nudge, Iggy, and Gazzy.

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell) Total. He's the worst character, period.

[geddyqueer]

LOTR

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most)

Aragorn. horse girlies forever

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped)

merry, my sweet evil baby, whom I am bouncing on my knee

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave)

why am I the only person on earth who cares about smeagol

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week)

this is a movies answer not a book answer but brett mckenzie’s hot elf

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave)

I know eomer is the classic answer for this but I’m going to hit you with a weird one: grima wormtongue

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason)

my sexy evil warlock, the witchking of angmar

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell)

that one gross orc (you know who Im talking about)

[chasingfictions]

Yellowjackets for the “send me a fandom and I’ll..” thingy (I would send btvs but I’m guessing you already have been asked that one)

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most)

lottie matthews my absolute beloved my special girl she did nothing wrong who among us hasn’t started a cannibalistic cult :)))))))) lottie matthews is mulder girl representation and I LOVE HER

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped)

AHEM MY NUMBER ONE GIRLIE

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave)

oooooh hmmm I do feel like this fandom appreciates everyone like they’re all such Gals such Girlie Wirlies :))))) I’m gonna say my underappreciated fave is cabin guy actually every day my brain says WAIT FUCK WHAT ABOUT CABIN GUY my cabin guy theories are making me INSANE

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week)

Look I know Callie is like. Barely a person but I LOVE HER I can’t stop thinking about c(allie) and Shauna naming her daughter after (???) the girl who Didn’t Get on the Plane and Callie as Jackie reborn and Callie as jackie as a Laura Palmer figure and Callie as haunting and I know the creators said callie isn’t pit girl but they could be lying so :))) and even if she isn’t like she IS pit girl bc Callie will always be a product of her mothers trauma and what does it mean to be fighting for recognition and attention from someone who is your mother and who is also haunted and Callie as just,, a bitch!!! But she’s supposed to be a bitch she’s in her bitch years and she’s SCAREd and her mom maybe killed a guy and I am manifesting s2 Callie Nancy Drewing about Adam while Shauna is off with tai to rescue nat. I LOVE CALLIE

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave)

misty did nothing wrong !!!!!!!! her spying on nat and snorting her coke is actually the HEIGHT of romance and yea ok she shouldn’t have poisoned coach Ben but also “I think misty poisoned me again” is the funniest line I’ve ever heard. She’s misty fucking quigley and fucking IS her middle name I love her

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason)

theyve all been through enough let’s let them rest <3

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell)

jeff i just think it would be funny (i say this with love for jeff)

[its-chelisey-stuff]

We need to talk about Wooyeon

That’s right it’s me again, who won’t shut up about this drama. I just have a lot of feelings for this, okay? Okay. Enjoy my essay lmao

One of the things I liked about Wooyeon (and still do), from the very beginning, is the way she seemed like your classic romcom female lead (bubbly, girly, poor but great clothes, feels ungly but she’s super pretty, etc) on paper, but actually got more substance, a strong will (perphaps a bit too strong, come on girl, let your heart decide a little, go with the flow) and real personality once we got to meet her. I honestly think I’ve met a few people in real life that acted like her, so she seems like a real person (but that’s more of a praise for the writer than for her character so let’s continue).

During eps 1-2 I was completely on her side, more than Lee Soo’s. And I mean, we got most of our setup for the story from her, so it makes sense that she was more likable or she was more a person the audience would root for. The thing is I used to think she was not afraid of being vulnerable in relationships because of the way she confessed to Lee Soo on the airport, and how she did it again seven years later (but that second time still seems weird to me because the dude was only in Korea for a few days). 

Except that things are clearer now and I wonder, was she ever vulnerable? Not with Lee Soo, but with others, I mean. It takes a lot of courage to confess your feelings to someone (believe me, I’ve been there) but it takes a lot more to actually open up to someone while in a relationship. And I think that’s one of the many reasons Wooyeon’s relationships with these other 12 guys never worked out.

What did that boyfriend, that broke up with her on the first ep, said? “Don’t date. You don’t know how to love”? And then she nostalgically starred into the distance, remembering how her “curse” with Lee Soo began? Like saying “That’s because I only love one person and I can’t forget about him”? Yeah, I think that ex-boyfriend was right. Not in the sense that she is unable to feel the emotion, but more like she really doesn’t let the other person in, there’s a wall around her and that’s why she can’t ever form a deeper bond with the other, thus leading said relationship to a premature end.

On eps 3-4 I was still on her side and this is when Lee Soo got on my nerves a little (well maybe a lot).  The girl was clear that she never wanted to see him again but he kept pushing and pushing. That’s the only behavior of his I can call proper of a jerk, because before that, he’d been honest with WY and straighforward even if his words hurt her feelings a bit because it was not what she wanted to hear. And he took that job because he had decided to stay in the country already though, not to torment Wooyeon. Only once he had accepted the job he realized Wooyeon was gonna be working there as well.

It was on ep 5 when things took an unexpected turn and I started to root more for Lee Soo (not exactly his romance but for his development and for him to realize his feelings for WY as there were starting to appear some cracks on his emotional shield lol) than for Wooyeon. And I know why now. Because I wanted her to take a step back and look for therapy understand that jumping into another relationship after being once again swayed by Lee Soo, was not going to help her at all. Dating a man (no matter how nice and ‘perfect’) while she was still having all these unresolved issues and lingering feelings for Lee Soo, was only going to make things worse and confuse her. 

Which you know, it happened. Especially because Lee Soo figured out his own feelings for her.

The fact that she started a relationship with a man she had rejected, a few hours prior (and he was waiting outside her house why exactly??creepy), for Lee Soo, is the most undeniable proof that her brain wasn’t working properly anymore. She was acting purely on emotion: hurt, shame, anger and resentment. None of that were love.

A lot of people have some very strong opinions about Lee Soo,but let’s not blame the man for the decisions Wooyeon took, especially for the time when he was out of the country. His biggest stupidity, in my opinion, wasn’t rejecting her twice (that was actually a good thing, he wasn’t ready to admit his feelings) but lying to Wooyeon on that Namsan day.

I think that Wooyeon, as of ep 8, is too angry to see clearly. I get her anger and her incredulity of Lee Soo’s words when he says he likes her. He has sent her so many mixed signals in the past. He acts like he has feelings for her but tells her he only wants to be friends. She’s tired, understandably.

Yet, I know she still likes Lee Soo. I know that, no matter how hard she tries to like CEO, that’s just not how feelings work. And we saw her treating him at arm’s lenght like all of her other boyfriends, so her wall is not down. And that’s not because of something Lee Soo did to her, that’s because that’s how she is at relationships. I believe that she has had more vulnerability with Lee Soo, as a friend, than with any of the men she’s dated.

So now, I wonder, will she or will she not realize in time that she’s doing wrong by remaining by CEO’s side despite her feelings for another man? Will she understand that she really is going to be the “Lee Soo” this time around? On purpose? Now that he has promised to do the one sided love? Because she knows how much that hurts and drains someone, so is she really going to put Lee Soo through that? Even when she cares for him? Let’s put aside whether or not he deserves it (I personally think he doesn’t). I think that’s just too cruel and more than enough “punishment” for not realizing his feelings sooner.

So I’m hoping Wooyeon breaks up with CEO and decides to start over with Lee Soo and I’m not saying they should date right away. Because there’s just no point in giving pain to a loved one, even if they wronged you. That’s below anyone and not something that should be one’s work.

[prorevenge]

Torment me for years then take my brother's best friend away? Be ready for our revenge.

TLDR at the bottom.

​

I will preface this by saying that this story is long, and I was not the mastermind to all the revenge that follows, but I did play a crucial role, and feel as though I need to explain my reasons for doing so.

I grew up in a single parent family, my mum, me, and my older sister, who, for this story's sake, I will call Lilith. Lilith is four years older than me, so the main reason I believe she was the way she was, was because she grew up an only child with both our parents spoiling her and giving her everything she wanted. Then I came along, and she wasn't the baby anymore. Then when I was two, my parents divorced, my dad moved away, and my mum was left alone with us.

My sister was, and still is, a grade A bitch. When I was growing up she used to bully me relentlessly. She would call me names, brake my stuff, blame my parent's divorce on me and even physically abuse me until I got old enough to hit back. At school, she used to get all her friends to bully me as well, and because a bunch of older kids were always cornering me, calling me fat and ugly, I never had any friends. No one wanted to be anywhere near me because of her, and she always made a point of letting me know just how much better then me she was. When I was younger, I believed she was better. She was prettier, wore better clothes, had a ton of friends and was into girly stuff like makeup and fashion while I was still in my teddy bear barbie stage. You could just tell me that this is all stupid kids stuff, but it only got worse as we got older.

By the time she was sixteen, I was just turning twelve, and the bullying had never ceased. Because of the type of person I was, I thought that if I did everything she said, she might actually like me, but this only encouraged her to take advantage of me. Things like cleaning her side of our room, getting her drinks, making her food, doing any housework mum asked her to do, and even giving her my pocket money, were completely normal. But despite doing everything she said, she was always nasty, and not just to me.

One of the worst memories I have of my sister is her screaming at my mum because she couldn't get the prom dress she wanted. I watched my mum try to explain that she didn't have the money to afford the dress she asked for and that she'd have to get a cheaper one. Lilith blew up on my mum, telling her they would have the money if dad was still here and it was all her fault that he left, and she shouldn't suffer because mum was too lazy to get a real job. This really struck a chord with me because even when I was younger I always noticed how tired my mum always was. She worked two jobs just to get us by, and for Lilith to act that way and say things like that really got to me. She made my mum cry that night, and I've never forgiven her for it.

Sometime later and my mum was dating this guy (we shall call him Matt). Matt was, and still is, great. He was really nice to all of us, bought us presents, made a point to get to know us, even took both me and Lilith on separate days out so we could both spend some alone time with him, which always made me feel special. I was thirteen when they got married, and we moved in with him. Matt made quite a lot of money, so both Lilith and I now had separate bedrooms and I could not have been happier. Enter Matt's son. Our mastermind. We shall refer to him as Megamind.

I had met Megamind a few times before my mum got married to his dad, but never really got to know him. He was older than me, but younger then Lilith, so when we moved into his house, I was terrified that Mega would be like Lilith. However, I was completely wrong. Mega was (and still is) the best brother. He never made me feel like I was unwanted. He let me play on his consoles, got me into reading, helped me with my homework, even encouraged me to make friends knowing how my sister's treatment of me affected my trust in people. Mega was the sibling I always wanted and never got to have, and Lilith just kind of faded into the background for a while. Then, some years later, Mega brought a friend home from university. His name shall be Nick. Nick and Mega were best friends. They did practically everything together, and had the truest bromance of any two men I've ever met. But there was evil lurking. Evil that wished to break the bromance forever. The first time Lilith saw Nick, I swear there were stars in her eyes, and she had to capture this innocent soul into her trap, by any means necessary. And poor Nick. Poor poor Nick.

Despite both me and Mega telling him repeatedly what kind of person she was, Lilith entranced this innocent boy with her looks and her charms and they soon started dating. Soon, whenever Nick would come over to the house to hang out with Mega, Lilith would show up and drag him away, making it all about her. She started arguments with Mega about spending to much time with HER boyfriend and that he needed to stop and leave them alone, to which Mega always laughed in her face and told her, not too kindly, to fuck off. Mega wasn't like me. He didn't take any of her shit and I deeply respected him for that. However, this evil demon was not used to being disrespected and so she hatched a wicked plan.

She started trying to separate Mega and Nick. If Nick came over to be with Mega she would always make him feel guilty about not spending enough time with her. She would start fights with Mega and then act like the poor victim over texts to Nick, Nick would then call Mega all upset and angry and Mega would try to explain that Lilith was just trying to manipulate him. All of this I saw as a spectator. Mega would tell me every time Lilith did something sneaky to try and brake his friendship with Nick, and I believed everything he said because I knew what kind of a person she was.

Then one day, Lilith and Mega had a massive fight. Our parents had gone on a couples weekend getaway and had left Lilith in charge since she was the oldest. I was about fifteen at this time, while Mega was nineteen and Lilith was twenty. Because she was the one in charge, she got given the money we were supposed to use for food. But of course, Lilith took the money for herself and bought a bunch of shit just for her, including, I remember, a pair of gold high heel shoes. They were pretty, but we couldn't eat them. Mega blew up on Lilith, and Lilith shouted back that she was older, better, and deserved it blah blah blah. Mega got our parents on the phone, told them what happened, and they ripped into Lilith, telling her to give her pocket money to Mega so he could look after us and buy us food for the weekend. Lilith shouted and cried but eventually gave in, never having successfully manipulated Matt in her life. She handed the money to Mega with a snarl, then spent the next few hours on the phone to Nick, wailing about how we were BOTH being mean to her while our parents were away and could she PLEASE stay at his house so she wouldn't be BULLIED anymore. Nick came running, and started screaming at Mega for, quote, "taking Lilith's money and getting her into trouble." Meanwhile, Lilith stood behind Nick with a smug look on her face while Mega was trying to explain. Nick then yells that Mega's been against their relationship from the beginning and he didn't know what Mega's problem was, but if he was forcing him to choose between him and Lilith, he chose his girlfriend.

Now I know a lot of you will call Nick stupid, but don't. I knew how manipulative Lilith could be. She was a master at making people feel sorry for her, and getting them on her side even when she was horrible to them, just like she did with me. That night I had to listen to Mega cry for the first time since I knew him, and I had enough.

I knocked on his door, asked him if he was alright, we ordered a pizza, and we started to plot. Mega was rather defeated by this point but I told him that if his friendship with Nick meant anything, he had to get him away from that demon spawn before he lost his friend for good. And so we plotted.

Lilith spent the entire weekend with Nick, and came back all happy and smug, rubbing it in Mega's face that Nick had chosen her, but via our plan, Nick said nothing back, acted defeated and let her talk. For the next few weeks, that's all she did. Whenever Nick came over to the house, she would spend time with him in her room, and when he'd leave, she'd prance around Mega, bragging about how much Nick loved her and asking Mega snidely if he missed his 'little friend'. Everytime she did this, her focus was entirely on Mega, she never once looked at me, and that was her biggest mistake.

Finally, the day of her twenty-first birthday had arrived. Nick and Mega hadn't spoken in weeks, and the few times Nick had gingerly tried to make things up with Mega, Lilith would walk in screaming about how he had already chosen her and that if he wanted to be friends with Mega again, then their relationship was over. Nick would always look miserable, but would side with her nonetheless. Mega had had enough. The fact that Lilith was making his best friend so unhappy purely for her own selfishness, snapped something in him, and he told me it was time to put our plan into action.

This was where my part of our plan finally took centre stage.

For her twenty-first birthday, she'd arranged to have her party at the house since it was huge, and more than enough space for all of her university friends. Our parents had agreed but only under the condition that there was no underage drinking and that both Mega and I were allowed to stay in the house. My sister reluctantly agreed, and thus the plan was in motion. On the morning of her birthday, I knocked on her bedroom door. She looked annoyed to see me and asked me snidely, "What do you want?"

I innocently told her I'd had the best idea. I told her I wanted to record her for her twenty-first birthday. I wanted to record her getting ready with her friends, talking about her plans after leaving university, record all her friends at the party, then set up the recording on a big projector Matt had in his office, so everyone could see it. This was before the time where smartphones were everywhere, so recording yourself was still something of a novelty, and I was using an old-fashioned camcorder I had gotten a few birthdays ago. Now, despite the fact that she did not like me, her wrath had been focused on Mega for so long that she most likely never saw me as a threat. And because of this both her and her friends seemed to love the idea.

I spent the entire morning with them. Recording them all getting ready, putting on their makeup and, of course, introducing themselves to the camera. My sister was lapping it up. She looked into that camera's eye like she was a supermodel movie star, preening and talking loudly about her successful future and how amazing her birthday party was going to be. That day I reverted back to my old role as a servant, fetched her and her friend's drinks and food, and made a grand show of complimenting all of them, and telling them how amazing they looked on camera, and that they could all be actresses some day. They were loving it.

So, the party starts, and my sister told me to stay out of the way. I told her innocently that it was no problem. That I'd just stay in my room all night, edit the recordings, and come down to set up the camcorder when she was ready, because I wanted this night to be perfect for her. Satisfied with my answer, she left my room.

And I did exactly what I said I'd do. I edited my recordings.

A few hours later, and one of her friends came to my room and told me she was ready. I set up the projector in the large living room, connected it to Matt's computer, and started playing the recordings for all her guests to see. The first part of the recordings were exactly what I promised. My sister and her friends introducing themselves and laughing in her bedroom as they had been hours earlier. I looked at my sister, who seemed so satisfied that all the attention was on her, then I looked at Mega, who was hiding in the corner of the room, and gave him a subtle thumbs up.

Then the video started to change. It started to play clips of Lilith shouting at Mega, calling him names and taunting him about Nick. It started showing Lilith snidely telling Mega that Nick belonged to her and that she was going to do her best to make Nick hate Mega, so they would never be friends again. It even showed clips of Lilith bragging about all the lies she'd told Nick and how he was 'so gullible'. Every single argument I had recorded without her knowledge I'd edited into this video.

Everyone in the party was watching silently as Lilith's true self was exposed in clip after clip, while Lilith stood there frozen, completely unable to comprehend what was going on. When she finally snapped out of it, she turned on me, and started screaming, yelling at me and asking me "How could you do this?"

I never said a word, I just smiled.

When the recording stopped, Mega turned the lights on and everyone was staring at Lilith. Clearly having no defence, she let out a loud cry and stormed up to her room, slamming the door so hard everyone heard it.

The next day Mega told me Nick had apologised for everything, and that he was stupid to so blindly believe everything she said. He even told me that Nick had thanked me specifically for helping him see what a monster my sister truly was. When my parents came home, both Mega and I were grounded for ruining Lilith's birthday and for using Matt's stuff without permission. But neither of us cared. Mega got his best friend back, and a few months later, Lilith moved out, since, after seeing the recordings of her behaviour, my parents were disgusted by her, and they had absolutely no problems with showing it. Since she no longer had any leverage over anyone in the house, she packed her bags and moved to stay in one of her college dorms. I've never had any problems with my sister since, and to this day Mega and I are as close as two siblings can be, and always laugh about the time we defeated the demon and saved us all from its clutches.

​

TLDR: My sister tries to separate my brother from his best friend, so we humiliate her on her birthday.

(source) story by (/u/KindlyOffer)

[organised-disaster]

Made some Snowbird things (again) using this picrew

Also some that match the conditions (sort of) that the post I found this with had [your current self with the younger version of yourself]

[boislut-neo]

Bois list~!

You can find a full list of bois and girls at the bottom of the page~! ^^

Beacon Academy is a school to teach young bois how to be the biggest slut they can be. Every student is taught to worship cock, to worship the balls underneath it, and to know his place as a cumdump whore who needs a sweaty sack to rest against his face.

There are mandatory classes to teach the students everything they need to become the best set of fuckholes they can be!

Wanna see our best best girly bois dressed in yoga pants showing off their sexy bodies? Head on down to the Yoga class! There you can find groups of trained whores putting their ass’ into shape for your enjoyment, go ahead, have a feel! Pick a skank and fuck him in the middle of the class, make all the other sluts jealous you didn’t pick them!

There’s the pole dancing/lap dancing class where bois are taught the importance of workin’ it like a stripper! Watch those stupid sluts work the pole like they were born to~! Have a favorite? Tell him to shake that ass on your lap~! he’ll be happy to give you a lap dance, especially if he can feel your cock pressing against his plump ass~!

And then, there’s my favorite~! Twerking class~!! Watch, as the particularly bottom heavy sissies of beacon start shakin’ their ass’ to the beat of the music, showing just how willing they are to twerk for some fat cock~! Give their ass’ a nice hard smack, it’s practically a requirement~! Wanna make a boi really happy~? Whip out your cock and start slapping it against someone’s bouncing ass, make sure your meaty cock feels every jiggle as you do~!

Let’s not forget about our faunus bois~! They love wearing collars, they love getting led around on leashes, they love doing tricks. They love being stupid slutty pets for everyone~! Pet them when they’ve been good, spank them when they’ve been bad, make sure to use their faunus traits to your advantage~! Cat faunus have rough, textured tongues that feel great against your cock and balls, give it a try~! Remember, it’s not racist if they beg you for it~!

———————————————–

Nora Valkyrie

Nora is an air headed bimbo with cock on his dumb little mind. Who needs smarts when you could have a nice fat cock in your ass~? Call him cutesy names like Baby Boi, Sweetheart, Faggot, Slut, Whore, he loves it! His last Daddy taught him that gropings were compliments and he should thank whoever smacks his ass as they pass by.

“Hello~ This is an invitation to do whatever the fuck you want to me~! Whatever that means. The others told me to say that~! They said I’d meet my new Daddy and that he’d make me feel extra good~! Oh! And Emerald told me to say, I hope my slutty body and plump little ass can make you cum lots~! Hehehe~ My last Daddy taught me what that one means~!”

———————————————–———————————————–

Emerald Sustrai

Emerald is a naughty little whore who needs to get his fat ass fucked till his legs start shaking and he’s begging for more. Use him, abuse him, call him a bitch, pull his hair, smack his ass. Hell, you can get away with slapping him across the face.

“This is an invitation to do whatever the fuck you want to me, make me regret it~ Want me to twerk for you? Tell me where to shake my fat ass~ You want a blowjob? You better make me suck your balls first~ You wanna fuck me? Tell me to spread my ass for that cock~ I want bruises, I want marks, I want people to ask me if I’m okay because you fucked me so hard! I don’t know how many times I have to say it! Use me! Fuck me! Spank me! I’ve been a bad little twink and I need someone to punish me~!“

———————————————–

Neo

Can’t a guy make a little money doing what he loves~? Neo is a greedy whore, in every sense of the word. Coming up to about crotch height with just about everyone he meets, he loves when a cock flops out onto his girly face. Buy him and you can use him like a little fuckdoll~ Pick him up and fuck his tiny hole, he can take it~ A tiny beautiful slut with a fetish for being manhandled and abused! What’s not to love~?

Neo stood smirking, a sign in his hand “This is an invitation to do whatever the fuck you want to me. As long as you can afford me, I’ll be the perfect little pocket slut~!” Neo gave a wink, his hand making a lewd gesture as if jerking off a cock.

———————————————–

Velvet Scarlentina

Poor little Velvet is Beacon’s very own big booty bullied bunny bitch~! Shy, cute, fun to bully, adorable when she cries, has a fat bunny booty built for spanking, a cute little face made for slapping, and is the perfect pretty little pain slut even if she cries and whines about it being untrue~! This sweet little hunny bunny loves having her rabbit ears yanked, practically cumming on the spot as she’s dragged into the men’s bathroom to be used as a cumdumpster, loves getting slapped and groped by every person that wants a handful of her fat, jiggly ass~! Tearing up from the deliciously vicious torment she gets everyday, sniffling and sobbing as her partner leads her around on a leash, selling her holes for pennies to complete strangers~!

Everyone knows the the little slut is acting, getting off to her own sobbing and begging as she’s treated like a piece of meat thrown to the wolves, acting like she’s being forced even as she signed up for it willingly, signed up to get treated like the filthy faunus slut she wants to be, crying like a little princess even as she gets drunk off of sniffing and sucking fat, sweaty nuts~! Yes, Velvet loves being the damsel in distress, the “unwilling* toy to get used and abused, to get smacked around, hands around her throat, called the worst things you could think of~! This sweet little bunny might just have a rape fetish, the poor thing~!

“…Th-…This is an invitation to-.. to do whatever the f-fuck you want to me.. Sniff! P-Please don’t pull my ears, they’re really sensitive.. I don’t-.. Coco makes me dress up like a complete whore, a-and she told me that if anyone tells me to shake my cottontail, I h-have to t-twerk for them and grind on their c-cock.. Please be gentle!”

----------------------------------------

Pyrrha Nikos

Pyrrha is the master of the pole, the best dancer at Beacon, and an all around eager slut. This beautiful redhead came to Beacon to experience life a little differently, and has come to love his new life as a nutsucking whore. He just can’t get enough of how people stare at his slutty body hungrily while he works the pole like a cheap stripper, or how they stare at his voluptuous, bouncy ass while looking at him like a piece of meat~ This perverted champion was a virgin before enrolling into Beacon, and it wasn’t until his second night that he was finally broken in by the entire football team. Fresh out of practice, each one had a turn with the shy yet eager girlyboi, teaching him everything he needed to know about how to properly clean a sweaty pair of cumchurners.

On top of being the best poledancer the school has ever had, Pyrrha also finds himself as captain of the cheer squad, having joined the group the morning after his lovely greeting by the team. Now you can find Pyrrha in the locker rooms after every game, win or lose, ready to be the stress toy for the guys who haven’t even showered yet. And it was this constant exposure to big, sweaty, smelly men that lead the poor little slut to becoming Beacon’s biggest scent freak as well~

“Hello~! Th-This is an invitation to do whatever the fuck you want t-to me, Darling~! I hope we all get along wonderfully! Would you like for me to p-polish your balls~? Maybe you’d like for me to show you why the team calls me their personal goal post~? I-It’s because my legs are aways open~ Why not use my ponytail as a handlebar while you use and abuse my tight, hot, slutty little asshole~? please be as rough and forceful as you can~ Yank on my hair and smack my ass, make me your dirty little bitch~! I’m here to please, so use my body however you fucking want and stuff me full of you cum~! A-And if you don’t mind.. Could you please slap your cock all over my face and let my worship your balls~? I-I love doing that~”

———————————————–

Penny Polendina

Penny, the adorably eager little slutbot, has been enrolled into Beacon as the prototype model for Altas’ soon to be announced line of sexdroids, and he’s very eager to learn how to be the perfect little slut he was designed to be~ A little airheaded, and too innocent for his own good, Penny will do just about anything you order him to, if he thinks it’ll teach him how to be a better fuckdoll~ From his fat little heart-shaped ass, to his perky little nipples and mini prick, this sentient sextoy was made to be the perfect set of holes for even the roughest of users~ This little bitch is incapable of feeling pain, does not have to breath, and was made with self heating, vibrating holes. Though he can twerk with the best of them, his blowjobs are his defining feature~ Now, this little redhead is very eager to learn how to be the best slut money can buy, doesn’t know how to say no, and loves making new friends. So why not grab a handful of his plush little bottom and do whatever you want to this cute little whore! Choke him, slap him, spit in his face, call him a useless pile of scrap metal! He’ll love every second of it, and say thank you with smile on his face~

As Beacon’s unofficial school mascot, Penny was the perfect fit for joining the cheer squad with his fellow redhead! Bubbly, adorable, perky, and looks damn fine in a mini-skirt, he’s the center of attention at any cheer practice session~! Everyone’s favorite thing to do with the little roboslut is to ‘flip his switch’, activate his slutty programming, and set it into overdrive~ Gone is the lovable, quirky little sweetheart, and in his place is one of the biggest sluts Beacon has ever seen~! Slut-mode Penny has no shame when it comes to dropping to his knees in a crowd, inviting everyone there to have a turn with his eager little mouth while he stares up with a look of pure, whorish hunger~ Penny won’t stop until he runs out of battery, taking groups of people all at the same time as they fill each of his holes. Some students even using him as a simple nut cleaner.

“Salutations! This is an invitation to do whatever the fuck you want to me, please help me learn how to be a slut! I enjoy anal, cumshots, and larger men! Before I came here, Mister Ironwood would use me as his personal sack warmer so I would sit under his desk for hours with his cock dripping on my face while I continuously suckled on his balls~ It always tasted so good, it’s now my favorite part of men to put in my mouth~! He also used to call me his good little sissy, so I love that as well! I’m well versed in all kinds of seduction and sex acts, so please specify what you’d like for me to do for you Sir~!”

———————————————–

Ruby Rose

Little Ruby Rose is not as innocent as he looks, his Daddy made sure of that. While he may not be the most depraved, he definitely loves fat cocks and big yummy balls. He loves when big strong men treat him like a toy, picking him up, slamming him against a wall, and making him squeal like a whore. He may not have the massive tits that that bimbos usually do, but Ruby has an ass made for fucking, slapping, and groping.

“This is an invitation to do whatever the fuck you want to me! I can’t wait to make some new friends~! I love cookies, strawberry cake, and big fat sweaty cocks! I hope you like me calling you Daddy, ‘cause I really do! I know I’m kinda new to this, but this ass can take whatever you give~ Please fuck me extra hard, and maybe spank me while you pull my hair~? Please Daddy~!”

———————————————–

Weiss Schnee

Weiss is not your typical bitchy rich boi. He loves big fat cocks to slap him across the face and have a pair of heavy balls rubbed all over it. He loves tarnishing the Schnee name by posting video after video of him taking the biggest cocks in every one of his little holes. He loves to service faunus cock and send the proof to her father.

“I hope you’re watching ‘Daddy’~! Watch your disgracefuly slutty son debase himself for all this fat cock! Ahem! This is an invitation to do whatever the fuck you want to me~! Make this privileged little bitch your dirty fucking cumdump and send all the vids and pics to *** ***-****! My ‘Daddy’ will probably want to kill you though!”

———————————————–

Blake Belladonna

Blake Bellabooty, the kitty cat cock slut. He has one the best ass’ around, and he knows it. Yoga pants, booty shorts, thongs, anything to make his fat ass the center of attention. He loves twerking his ass for pretty much anyone who asks. He especially loves shaking it on someone’s lap, grinding his bubble butt right up against a hard throbbing cock. Blake has a rivalry going on with Emerald, both of them believing they have the most fuckable ass, which usually leads to a twerk battle with both of them taking off clothing as to get more votes. By the end they’re always completely naked in public, bouncing their booty’s and showing off their holes for the crowd while begging for votes and cock.

“This is an invitation to do whatever the fuck you want to me. I like petplay so ask me for my collar and leash~ I love having huge cocks fucking me into a little slutty mess while someone spanks my fat ass. And yes, it is a fat ass. My ass, the Bellabooty, was made to get fucked, made to be used~”

———————————————–

Yang Xiao Long

Yang is a total party slut~! He’s the life of every party and orgy he can get into to, the center of attention. You can find him dressed to the nines in slutty clothes, shaking his ass for anybody who asks while offering his body up for public use~! A total daddy’s boi, he can’t get enough punishment.

“This is an invitation to do whatever the fuck you want to me~! I love parties, cum, cock, and anybody who want’s to be my daddy~! I just wanna live life like the slut I am and suck some fat sweaty dicks whenever I can~! Come on, let me dance for you, whip that cock out, let’s have some fun~!“

—————————————-

(I’ll be doing the same thing for all the bois at some point) 

Girls to bois: Ruby Rose Weiss Schnee Blake Belladonna Yang Xiao Long Nora Valkyrie Pyrrha Nikos Penny Polendina Ciel Soleil Cinder Fall Emerald Sustrai Neo Salem Glynda Goodwitch Coco Adel Velvet Scarlatina Neon Katt Winter Schnee Kali Belladonna Sienna Khan Ilia Amitola Fembois: Neo (I just really like the idea of him being a trap~!) Jaune Arc Lie Ren Sun Wukong Oscar Pine Whitley Schnee Adam Taurus Mercury Black Roman Torchwick Qrow Branwen (A drunk trap!) Ozpin James Ironwood

[This is a work in progress! Not all of them may stay! I might have missed some, just assume that if I’ve posted about them on my main blog, they’re allowed here to!]

[takemeawaytocamelot]

Expedition of the Heart: The Memory of My Name on Your Tongue

Hello everyone!! Welcome back to the delightful modern AU with Ian and Rachel! I’m so in love with this story, I can’t even tell you. @akb723 is wonderful at helping me get my crazy brain in order and coming up with THE BEST chapter titles. I hope you enjoy reading this chapter and stay tuned for 3!

Catch up: Prologue, A Love Story Repeats

Rachel sighed in utter bliss as she sank into her couch. She had kicked off her shoes to land randomly across her living room when she had come in, desperate to stop the incessant tingling in her feet. She was just beating the sun home, her night shift having just finished. The silver lining to her obscenely late/early morning was that she had time to call Denny.

Pulling out her neglected old laptop, she opened the Skype screen and waited as it rang a few times before there was an answer.

“Rachel! So good to see you!”

It wasn’t her brother that had answered the call, but her sister-in-law.

“Hello, Dotty! How are you? I don’t usually catch you when I call.”

The sweet girl shrugged.

“I had the morning off. I… wasn’t feeling well.”

Rachel eyed her dubiously.

“As long as I’ve known you, neither of you have ever taken a sick day.”

Denny, finally coming into view on the screen, blushed and coughed. Dotty giggled and winked at Rachel.

“Yes… well…” Denny sputtered. “I had a tickle in my throat this morning.”

Rachel, smiling, shook her head.

“I don’t want to know!”

They all laughed for a few moments before Dotty and Denny sobered. Something was up, Rachel could feel it in her gut.

“We’re glad you called,” Denny said, his voice soft but serious.

“I always do if I’ve the time, you know that.”

Dotty was smiling sweetly at her, gently nudging Denny.

“Yes, well… It seems Dotty and I have some news.”

Immediately Rachel’s mind jumped to the worst possible scenario. She worked hard to keep herself under control, waiting for Denny to get to the point.

“We’re pregnant,” he finally said.

Rachel’s eyes narrowed.

“Yes, we knew that…” she said. “You told me that a month ago.”

“But it’s twins!” Dotty blurted in a very girly squeal. “Oh Rachel, we’re having twins!”

Denny looked terrified while his wife appeared thrilled.

“Twins!? That’s wonderful, Dotty! Congratulations! And you, Denny… A father times two in one go! Well done!”

“Yes,” Denny said flatly. “Not only will I be learning how to be a father, I’ll be learning it with two children.”

Rachel couldn’t help but laugh. Her poor brother was in over his head if one of those children had even half of Dotty’s personality.

“Tell me you’ll still come to visit,” Dotty pleaded.

“Of course!” Rachel said. “Now I have three reasons to come!”

Denny frowned.

“Three?”

Rachel held up her fingers to count them off.

“Dotty, your first child, and the second child. Am I forgetting a fourth?”

“Ha ha,” he said, rolling his eyes.

Dotty burst into giggles while Rachel felt herself break into a yawn.

“You should get some sleep,” Denny said tenderly. “We’ll talk later and plan your trip out here, alright?”

“Alright, I love you both,” Rachel said as she waved at them.

As she plaited her hair, Rachel let her mind wander. It was best to get her thinking done before attempting sleep, or she’d never get any rest. She started by remembering her entire day, from start to finish. As each memory came, she scrutinized it before releasing it, easing her mind as she did so.

Aye, Miss Rachel Hunter…

The Scottish voice echoed through her mind as if the young man was standing right before her. The way he’d said her name, the R’s rolling a little…

“No,” she said out loud, staring at herself in the mirror. “He said all those things to impress you.” Closing her eyes, she tried to release it, like she had done with all the other details of her day. The detail, however refused to be let go.

Aye, Miss Rachel Hunter…

The brouge, and sweet but cocky smile kept coming into her head. Glaring at her reflection, Rachel sighed and decided it was of no use, this detail was here to stay, and she was too tired to fight it.

As she lay down in her bed, blinds closed tight against the light outside, she wondered about the young man, Ian. He was a guide, he’d said, taking tourists out to explore the wilderness. But that was only a seasonal job. Perhaps he didn’t have the patience for a full time job? His skin had had a rather nice tan, though, and very well defined muscles. She shook her head trying to avoid going down that line of thought. None of that mattered. She likely wouldn’t see him again for some time, not  with her schedule changing

Still though, he’d said he was related to Dr. Fraser, hadn’t he? Rachel had always liked Dr. Fraser. She was very good at her job and cared about each of her patients as well as the staff she worked with. Perhaps there was more to him than she first thought…

Ian tossed and turned in his bed, never quite reaching sleep but not fully awake either.  His dreams, or whatever they might be called, were fragmented and strange. One part memory, one part imagination. A pair of beautiful hazel eyes tormented him, always just out of reach.

His own eyes opened and he stared at the ceiling. As the haze began to lift from his mind, the memories came back in full force. The lads he’d known back in Scotland had been the reason for his exile. Sometimes he missed his friends, his home, and the farm he’d grown up on with his family. But leaving had been the right decision, even if he hadn’t liked it at the time.

Being around that group of boys hadn’t been good, but he’d been sucked in. He’d made bad choices and people had been hurt as a result. Ian shook his head, trying to dispel that line of thinking for another time, and reached out to scratch behind Rollo’s ear to distract himself. When he’d moved in with his uncle and aunt, he’d promised himself he’d never think about those boys again, but would always repent for the hurt he caused.

Rollo groaned quietly and nuzzled Ian’s neck, still fast asleep. Ian smiled and patted his dog fondly, though the feelings from his memories still lingered. Best think about something else then, lad, he thought to himself. The image of sweet Rachel Hunter came to him and he couldn’t help but smile. Perhaps he’d start winning her affections by bringing her a coffee in the morning. It had worked for his uncle, hadn’t it?

Don’t want to miss an update? Let me know and I’ll make sure to tag you in the next chapter!

@eclecticstarlightconnoisseur @bkhw @momwendy @mebertolini @michaela-armstrong-paul @xdarlingx966 @thatwetwomaybeoneagain @outlanderedandoverhere @abbydebeaupreposts

[akiangelss]

✨

Why is it always the same?

I’ve been having the same shitty feeling ever since I realize that maybe it wasn’t a reality that I wasn’t good looking. I never had the experience of rejecting someone but had the very raw experience of being rejected and as you may thing I don’t actually desire anyone to go though it. It’s not a good feeling if you know what I’m talking about but well, as a lot of thing in life you cannot avoid it to happen at least once and it’s fine, it’s actually refreshing to sometimes go with it.

I feel like an awful person when I have to speak or deny something to someone but you cannot expect to always say yes to their demands, I feel extra awful when I have to reject someone, said that I rejected the same guy twice! Yes, T W I C E and you might think ‘this girlie thinks it’s slick to reject a poor guy twice’ but come to think of it, he never wanted to understand on the first place I wasn’t interested in him, I told him multiple times that maybe in the future something can happen, when I said future I said maybe in the next years, NOT the next week, but there you got him, throwing a fit two days after his confession because I sat with someone else during lunch, what he did that night? He confessed his feelings in person, is it that I speak in another language or is it that no one actually listens what the other is saying?

Not gonna bore you more about this whole teenage drama I didn’t ask for, but here comes my rant WHY? And I make emphasis W H Y does he believe it’s okay to try to take some emotion or reaction of me now that he’s with someone else?

Trust me I’m happy for him he found someone he likes and likes him back, it’s amazing actually seeing people enjoying love but ever since he started ‘dating’ this girl seems more that he enjoys believing I’m jealous or mad at his new relationship. I don’t care, he tormented me, he blackmailed me emotionally every fucking day because I rejected him, his self pity was so wide I had to take breaks cause otherwise I might snapped at him, don’t get me wrong I don’t feel he’s annoying but he used to make remarks on his problems without looking a solution whatsoever, I spent days and days telling him ways to boost his confidence, told him to see a specialist because I cared for him as a friend, because I wanted my friend to be okay. It took me a while realizing I was emotionally blackmailed and that he actually enjoyed knowing I was suffering due to his comments not because I liked him, but because he knew I feel extremely guilty when I make someone else suffer.

It’s been a while, we’ve grown apart, and I’m happy, happy that I got my sanity and peace of mind again. And tonight he told me he’s officially dating her even tho I never actually cared or asked about his relationship, maybe looking another answer for me or wanting to see if I care and that doesn’t make any sense cause the actual feeling I cared was him making me feel guilty.

Tonight as I vent my frustrations all I can say is that I’m not afraid to reject someone in the future, you are entitled to do it, but do it in the most assertive way possible don’t downgrade, don’t bash and don’t humiliate, rejection is part of life, it happen and it can make you bitter or hopeful, the choice is yours kiddo.

[avanneman]

TV or not TV? Isn’t there a third option?

I’ve already argued that the pickings at the multiplex are pretty slim, nor am I a fan of what I have labeled “Heavy TV”, disliking it so much I had to write a sequel to my original putdown.1 My appetite, such as it was, for the doings of sadistic serial killers is pretty much exhausted, and I’m generally either afraid of “The Dark” or bored by it. So is nothing acceptable? Fortunately, there are a few old favorites that are still holding up, and a few other odds and ends—shows that have come and gone that I’m just discovering.

Archer, suave secret agent/dick (both private and public), about whom I’ve raved in the past, on my own blog and for the Bright Lights Film Journal, still functioning, and still tolerably funny in its ninth season, is preparing for its tenth and last on FX. Earlier seasons are no longer available on Netflix (except on DVD) and Amazon Prime makes you pay extra even for Season 1, which strikes me as exceptionally bitchy (or Archery). I’m sure the kids have figured out a way to watch it for free, but I haven’t, so I’m DVDing it.

The third season of Call My Agent!, aka Dix Pour Cent, a semi-favorite of mine is up on Netflix, chronicling the frenzied adventures of the ever-endangered ASK talent agency in Paris. I complained about the excessive coziness of Saison Deux, but I’m glad to report that Saison Trois is both more dry and more droll. As I expected, the cliffhanger from Saison Deux, that big-hearted, big-nosed lesbian Andréa (Camille Cottin) would be shipped off to New York, didn’t happen, allowing her to have her baby (by boss Hicham Janowski, played by Assaad Bouab) in the safety and sanctity of the French medical system. My big complaint in the past was the show’s star-struck approach to stars, showing them as vain and temperamental (at first) but, after a few complications, emerging as gallant thoroughbreds who always come through under pressure and save the day. This time, instead of a handful of European stars entirely unknown to me, we have a true international star, Isabelle Huppert. Isabelle isn’t “bad”, of course. If anything, she’s too generous and hard-working. The thing is, she’s signed a contract with—wait for it—Americans! Who want her exclusively and, mercenary monsters that they are, would foreclose on Versailles and ship it to LA if they don’t get their way!

Fortunately, ASK has both the sangfroid and the savoir faire to hose the Yanks, though it takes quite a bit of frantic behind the scenes running around to carry the whole thing off. Along the way, there’s a funny side plot, wherein the sweet gay guy, whose name I still don’t know and can’t determine, gets a chance to move up to be an actual agent instead of an assistant! Because sweet not-gay Camille (Fanny Sidney) thinks she’s so busy she should be two people, sweet gay guy becomes her, for a day. And then he meets this really cute waiter who wants to be a star, and so sweet gay guy arranges for an audition for him! Both their dreams are going to come true! Well, how else does one celebrate such an occasion, eh, mon ami? But then, well, really cute waiter gets sent to the wrong audition, and he’s terrible, and the studio wants to know why ASK is sending them boyfriends instead of actors, and SGG has to 1) catch shit from Camille for endangering the agency, 2) tell RCW that he isn’t star material, and 3) take shit from RCW, to wit: “You only took me on because you wanted to fuck me! Well, mission accomplished, bitch! Because now I’m totally fucked!” And all because he wanted to make people’s dreams come true! Agents suffer!

A past hidden gem that I’m just discovering is Blandings, a mere 12 thirty-minute episodes from Britain, but I’m lovin’ ‘em. “Blandings”, available on Amazon, is ultimately from the pen of P. G. Wodehouse, the grandmaster of silly ass Englishman light fiction. I’ve previously discussed a series dating from the early 90s, Jeeves and Wooster, devoted to Wodehouse’s supreme creation, the saga of Bertie Wooster and his man Jeeves, which ran through dozens of short stories and perhaps a dozen novels, from the early twenties through 1970. Devotees/obsessives like myself marinated for decades in Bertie’s inimitable rococo narration of Jeeves’ inimitable rococo machinations, all in the service of the inimitable truth, that Amor Vincit Omnia, though not without considerable assistance from Jeeves.

It was surely inevitable that Jeeves and Wooster would fall below the mark unconsciously set for it by aficionados like myself. Despite the ineffable lightness of Wodehouse’s prose, both Bertie and Jeeves were quite complex characters, doppelgangers for Wodehouse himself. “Plum”, as everyone (apparently) called him, was quite unhappy as a boy, but immensely happy at his “public” school—what we Americans would call a prep school—“Dulwich College”. The moral he seemed to take away from it all was that happiness, though possible, is not “natural”—it must be consciously achieved. Furthermore, it is most often achieved in the company of the privileged, and it can best be achieved by holding the world at arm’s length.

In the early short stories, Bertie is always either falling in love or getting engaged, or both, but always to the “wrong woman”—though, in sharp contrast to the American “rom com”, there is no right one.2 As Jeeves repeatedly makes clear, the only way to avoid the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune is to abstain from the fury and mire of human veins. By the mid-thirties, when Wodehouse had largely switched from short stories to novels, Bertie was as skeptical of affairs of the heart as Jeeves. The turning point was Brinkley Manor, aka What Ho, Jeeves (1934), which set in motion a collection of entangled and star-crossed lovers who, thanks to Jeeves, all married happily, though the consummations were delayed for a good thirty years. The Epicurean Roman poet Lucretius notoriously found it pleasing to stand safely on the shore and watch the sufferings of those at sea tormented by the storm.3 Both Jeeves and Bertie are made of softer stuff, and, confronted as they invariably are by victims of internal rather than external weather, always strive to intervene—Bertie ingenuously and disastrously, Jeeves with the effortless hand of the Creator (or the Author). But in both cases, intervention is only possible if one is one’s self immune to the tempest within.4

Jeeves and Bertie are scarcely three-dimensional characters, and the supporting cast distinctly less so, but over the decades that he wrote about them, Wodehouse rang the changes on the limited notes available to him so ingeniously that—for the addicted, at least—they remained ever fresh and vivid. The result is that, I suspect, all true devotees have a “perfect” Aunt Dahlia and a “perfect” Madelaine Bassett, not to mention a perfect Bertie and a perfect Jeeves, already fixed in their heads, so that the poor actors and actresses (if I can use such a term) who portray them almost invariably appear as disappointments or even frauds, for the perfect is always the enemy of the good.

In the “Blandings” stories, revolving around Lord Emsworth and his kin, and most particularly his prize pig, the “Empress” and set in the “eternal Twenties” of Wodehouse’s imagination,5 the perfect rarely intrudes The few I read from the series struck me as a distinctly lesser creation, stories that Wodehouse wrote as a sort of vacation from the Wooster/Jeeves high-wire act. Without Bertie’s perfect voice—the Blandings stories are written the third person—and without Jeeves perfect schemes, we have little more than a stock company road show of silly ass Englishmen, good-hearted chorus girls, good-natured, big-bellied, empty-headed lords, imperious dames, and sherry-slurping butlers, all wandering around the sort of enormous country estate that drove me half bonkers in the unspeakably wretched Downton Abbey.6 But at Blandings, it works.

Rather remarkably, given the degenerate nature of our time, the producers of the show made no attempt to position themselves as superior to the material, no effort to show what life was “really” like in those bad old days, which was in fact pretty horrible for everyone below stairs and for half of those above it. Wodehouse deconstructed would be a sorry sight indeed, and we don’t get it. The only updating that has been done is pretty much limited to the occasional pig fart, and (probably) more “muck” jokes (manure) than P. G. would have allowed himself. Instead, we have the amiable Lord Emsworth (Timothy Spall), sporting a thoroughly “English” set of teeth, his amiable son Freddie Threepwood (Jack Farthing), his unamiable sister Lady Constance (Jennifer Saunders), and his stout butler Beach (played first by Mark Williams in the first season and by Tim Vine in the second), all cavorting and disporting themselves in a suitably Wodehousian manner. Freed from the burden of perfection, and avoiding on its own the burden of pretense, it’s pretty damned good road show all around, and I’m sorry it didn’t get a longer run.

Another invigorating look at the Roaring Twenties with a British accent—more substantial, this time around—comes from Down Under in the form of Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries, three full seasons of hour long treats on both Netflix and ABC that make Sydney, Australia look surprisingly like London—and sound like it too, because all the leads have surprisingly (to me) posh accents.7 Miss Fisher, played by the charming Essie Davis, is unsurprisingly and unchronologically up to date in all her attitudes, being (of course) independent and quite capable of clambering over walls and scaling buildings in pursuit of evil-doers, even in high heels. Phryne, as her first name is, has a sweet companion, Dorothy Williams (Ashleigh Cummings), somewhat lower down on the social scale and naturally a bit intimidated by Phryne’s upper class lack of inhibition. Both gals have steady Eddies, in the form of Chief Inspector John Robinson (Nathan Page) for Phryne and Constable Hugh Collins (Hugo Johnstone-Burt) for Dorothy. The Chief Inspector, virtually a walking Rock of Gibraltar and a titan of middle-class inhibitions, is naturally entranced by the wicked Miss Fisher, who keeps his Herculean physique tightly wrapped around her little finger for all three seasons, and it must be said that Constable Collins’ fate is only a little less circumscribed.

As should be obvious, Miss Fisher is largely a chick show, of particular interest, I would say, to women who worry about their boyfriends’ hair, because both the Chief Inspector and the Constable have coifs that are, invariably, perfect. Some of the “backstory” for the show—the bitterness many Australians felt at the way the “Mother Country” used them for its own purposes in World War 1, for example—shows some real thought. There is, unsurprisingly, a gaping omission when it comes to the subject of race, and the position of the “aborigines”, which in the twenties was entirely deplorable. Most unattractive is the difference in the treatment of two of Miss Fisher’s many lovers, one Chinese and one “black”. The Chinese lover comes from a prominent family, speaks excellent English, and has come to Australia to flee an arranged marriage in order to marry the woman he loves, whose father is a communist. The black lover is an extra in a film, has not a single line, and clearly functions as a one-night stud. Naughty, yes, but not very nice.

For now, that's it. So don't say nothing's on. Say almost nothing's on.

Latest and worst heavy TV of all is the execrable Game of Thrones. The sappy English accents alone make it unwatchable, not to mention the entire fur coats, tits, and bloody murder ethos of the damn show. Livin’ in the Age o’ Trump is already terrible, but this show makes it worse. ↩︎

As a young man, Wodehouse wrote “straight” rom com novels like Mike in the City and Leave it to Psmith!, whose heroes were impecunious public school men, rather like Wodehouse himself, ↩︎

The opening stanza of Book II of De Rerum Natura, aka “The Nature of Things”—a Roman catchphrase. People are always taking a look at rerum natura. ↩︎

Wodehouse did marry, Ethel May Wayman, an English widow. They had no children, but Wodehouse adopted Wayman’s daughter, to whom he was quite devoted. Supposedly, Ethel was the Jeeves to Plum’s Bertie. ↩︎

“First and last,” I squealed in impotent and ineffectual rage, “I was overwhelmingly put off by the idea that it’s okay, in any sense of the word, for five people to be knocking about in a house the size of Grand Central Station, with two or three dozen menials rushing about night and day to keep everything looking just so.” Blandings rather shamelessly elides the issue by pretending that Lord Emworth’s immense estate is cared for by a handful of servants, who spend most of their time either feeding cake to pigs or drinking sherry. ↩︎

Actually, Wodehouse’s stock characters are really pre-World War I, as George Orwell explains. Orwell’s essay discusses Wodehouse’s early work in some detail, on its way to giving what I found to be too much deference to Wodehouse’s unthinking behavior when captured by the German Army in France in 1940. Wodehouse gave a radio broadcast making it sound as though being imprisoned by the Germans was rather jolly. Wodehouse’s wife was also a prisoner, so it’s not surprising that he wanted to cooperate, but there’s a difference between cooperating and being coopted. I suspect that Wodehouse, like many rich people, hoped that the Nazis wouldn’t be so bad. ↩︎

A contemporary Australian series, Rake, also available on Netflix, which I gave up on because it kept expecting me to identify with a coke addict, features noticeably less posh accents. ↩︎

[cockyroaches]

What if Julian and Theresa are trans because they have to? Like Theresa wanted to be in the girls-only twirling team so bad that "he" has to crossdress everyday at school. As for Julian... ... maybe Julian actually went under the knife because "she" was discriminated, pressured, or something; but she can't help to be girly? I don't know, I just really wanted this to be a thing.

I think you’re mistaking crossdressing with actual gender identity, but I like to see people try and poke this headcanon too!Have some of my takes on the subject for these two, cuz I did develop it so theres no need for figuring out. I take Theresa’s strongly and always consider it, Julian’s is a “just because I can” case though~

●JulianBirth name: Jean, Julia, Julianne.Something around this, I suppose.Personality before coming out: Jean was really sparse about what she found interest in, hardly focusing on one thing or other. She also just never quite felt comfortable being outside and never really had that many friends. She spoke a lot less than Julian does, and would be afraid to express herself.The point where she understood what all the convoluted feelings she had meant was almost at the same time she found her interest in weird, eerie things. Finind her true identity was tied with this important part of her personality, and she became the weird bat spoder kid she had always meant to be, adopting Julian as a new nameComing out to his parents was kinda difficult, because Julian never had the chance to express himself before. It was… Kind of a mess really. Poor thing was shaky and muttering like hell but his parents gave him all the support and understanding they could, always.These days Julian is simply not afraid to show who he is and doesn’t give a fuck if he’s seen as a freak because he finally found what he liked and he’s sticking to it.●TheresaBirth name: Terrence, HunterPersonality before coming out: Terrence was always aware he wasn’t like the other boys, and intensely tried to hide this by being “hardcore” and deadpan, whatever his family told him being a man meant.This caused severe scars on him though, and he probably evolved from a harmless jerk to a violent bully. If he were to be caught using women’s clothing or accessories no one would mess with him due to his personalityAt home, however, he tried to hide it, though he’d be mortified if his parents caught him dressing up in pretty skirts, he didn’t know how to handle thisSoon enough though, his walls began to fall apart. The “masculine” self he had built began to be useless and harmful to him, causing traces of depression to surface.Terrence was taken to the psychologist when he started to behave in a depressive fashion, and that’s where he just gave up and told about everything.Upon hearing that, his parents were called, and the ride home was kinda silent. His dad was muttering nonsense, but the silence was broken by his mom asking him what should they call their child now, since Terrence wasn’t really gonna fit. He interrupted their conversation saying she’d rather be called Theresa, and, although it was hard for them to understand how their daughter thought and what she was going through, Theresa’s parents began to accept and comprehend, and were gleeful to find their precious girl cease to torment others and was just a baton girl in the new school, finally making friends and wearing off her mask.Here’s a thing: both probably went to the same school before, and secretly knew about each other’s struggles and that’s where all my “they’re really, really strong friends” headcanon found its roots!Also I’m sorry if the pre-transition names hit y’all as silly and forced, I’m just that silly. I need help to develop this headcanon btw, any hints of mistakes are far more than welcome!

[ra-veela-claw]

Inevitable Absence

Hi all!  So this is my first post of my own creation...I’ve been wanting to write a fanfic focusing mostly on Draco and a character I created, Aileen :)  Please please give it a read & give me any feedback!  Normally I write in first person but I wanted to try something different.  Should I continue with this fanfic idea? :)

Her ordinarily cool eyes sprang to life as the image of a familiar dark figure reflected across their crystal surface.  A flame erupted under her skin when he turned to match her gaze for all of a split second, his grey eyes wild with fear and swollen with uncertainty.

“Draco?” Aileen’s brogue was stifled by the weight of the scene before her, cracking her voice and hope alike.  Her quiet mind raced about, suffering as he stumbled away.  Draco was swiftly hurried along by the black clouds engulfing him, and he shot Aileen a startlingly desperate look, shaking his head.   For the first time in six years, her desperation matched his.

“Draco! DRACO!” She launched into the cold stone corridor, wand dancing at the tips of her fingers.  The black figures merely glanced back at her but continued on, cantering through the front doors of the castle.  

Aileen ran behind them.  The calm in her soul was replaced with an indescribable and uncontrollable inferno.  One of the women, pale with an incredible mess of jet black hair, turned on her heel and smiled at the young girl before her.  Aileen stopped in her tracks.  Her skin tingled and her eyes burned.  

“Wait!” The woman halted the group with one wave of her slender finger.  They looked upon her expectantly, as her rotting teeth twisted into a smirk.  Draco held his breath and choked in anticipation. “This girly wishes to speak with my little nephew-“ “Bella..” Snape’s eyes darted between his students.  Bellatrix whipped her head towards him. “Severus!” She cackled.  “I merely want to give her the chance before she can never see the poor boy again…go on, Draco!”  His gaze never left Aileen for a second, even when his aunt grabbed him by the scruff of his neck and shoved him towards her.

Draco stumbled and fell to his knees before Aileen, catching himself on his hands.  She was trembling with such a powerful unseen force but stood erect, her blue eyes wide and fixated  on him.  He shook, and slowly looked up her narrow figure before settling on her porcelain face.  It killed him to know she was seeing him in such a state.  It killed him that he let her down. “Aileen…I’m so-“ she stooped down and for the first time, he saw her eyes glisten with tears.  Her slight eyebrows knit together in undeniable pain.  He choked and looked back to the cold ground beneath him.  

Aileen reached to touch his white blonde hair, resting her thumb on his clammy forehead.  He closed his eyes, his tears falling into her lap. “Draco…” she whispered.  Her healing touch and her once-again even voice calmed him.  She was tormented by inevitability of his absence and by his pain.

Bellatrix was growing impatient. “Boooooring!  Your time’s up my dearies, we’re on a bit of a schedule here,” she rolled her eyes and yanked her nephew by his shirt collar back within their ranks.  Smiling, she turned to Aileen, still kneeling on the ground. “Well now this is the awkward part, love,” she giggled and raised her wand.  Draco struggled. “Bellatrix, you mustn’t,”  Snape promptly stepped in front of her, his deep voice echoing against the tall columns.  “She’s a student…she comes from a noble family.  The Dark Lord would consider it a waste.”

She pouted and slumped, groaning. “Ohhh alright.”  Aileen sat, stone cold. “Goodbye girly!” Bellatrix skipped along.  Aileen stood and stated clearly: “Do not hurt him.”  The dark woman turned on her heel, unkempt eyebrows raised, in time to see the young girl’s features sharpen and her pupils narrow into slits.   The screeching of a powerful creature overshadowed her voice.   

“That’s all I ask.”  Aileen’s eyes burned and her white gold hair shone like fire billowing around her.  Bellatrix, unfazed, turned to Snape, cocking her head. “Brady has traces of Veela,” he explained.  She clapped with joy, finding the girl’s anger most enjoyable. “What a treat Draco’s found!” She squealed and grabbed Draco’s unsteady hand, toting him along through the doors at last.  His eyes found Aileen’s once more.  They were matched in fear and desperation.  He wanted to stay, he couldn’t handle this.

Aileen watched them exit in a cloud of smoke, and with them went a piece of her soul.  Her ordinarily cool eyes grew listless.