#nb erasure

[hpmort]

out of all the annoyances of Nutdealer misgenderings, applying he/him to Chara and Kris is wild? Not only are both names, like feminine, but also they have both only been identified as they/them very clearly.

Both Dreemurr humans were around the societies that used they/them for them for years. If Frisk’s pronouns were any/any, then that might make sense, who knows. But the bizarre pattern of making the Dreemurr humans boys while having Frisk be female is really weird! Again, “Kris” and “Chara” are both girl names irl, while Frisk straight up isn’t a name.

The only fanwork I’ve encountered that decided that “yeah Frisk should be a guy and Chara should be a girl” (neither of which are canon (actually Frisk might be a he/they, who knows)!) was a Deltarune character swap AU thing where it turned out that they were Kris’s parents but Frisk murdered Chara and so the Dreemurs adopted Kris. They still made Kris a guy, though.

Anyways this just lead me to think that the infamous Deltarune fanfic Umriss should have bent Kris’ gender femwards rather than malewards, especially since the author didn’t even have the decency to let Kriselle spawn horrific abominations. They kept Noelle attracted to Susie, and I feel like she seems like a Predatory Lesbian™️ instead of some cringy doe who maybe wants a threesome or to be a swinger or something, but is too much of a loser to actually ask and so is either waiting on her crush or her wife to discuss it.

(Anyways, if Kris≠Chara then probably humans in the Nutdealer multiverse are hermaphrodites or something (we know that ghosts are dxab (designated nonbinary(X-gender at birth) based on Mad Mew Mew being referred to as they/them when they were Mad Dummy). If they are then it’d just be weird coincidence, or maybe split reincarnation or Chara somehow managing to convince the underground that all humans are nonbinary because they got a 20 on the associated persuasion check). This could also play into the theory that Ralsei exists as Kris’ ideal self, including gender, if humans are nonbinary by default. This has the bonus of upsetting everyone)

[lgbtqtext]

[transwolvie]

I keep thinking about that post about all the celebrities that are out as non-binary, but how people will just ignore that cuz they're afab, cuz it really does make me so sad. Miley Cyrus has talked abt being nb. Demi Lovato not only is nb but has said they gave up on using they/them and just retreated to she/they because no one will gender them correctly. Janelle Monae is ignored not only as a bisexual woman who advocates for polyamory and open love but also ignored as a non-binary person. It's really such a shame because non-binary people are EVERYWHERE, but people just fully....ignore us. Just let it wash over them when it's stated someone is non-binary and then go back to living their lives with no change in treatment or pronouns like they were never even told in the first place.

[think-queer]

I've been thinking about why in so deeply bothered by people saying that afab enbies who don't look trans are less oppressed than other trans people. Part of it is just that it is either based in enbyphobia/misogyny (seeing afab enbies as women and seeing women as attention seekers with a victim complex) or it's erasing amab enbies (because if 'looking trans' is such an important part of the trans experience then why wouldn't the same apply to amab enbies who aren't visibility trans)

But I've realized that it's also because it reminds me of one of the most common acephobic arguments I saw back when asexuals were the targets of the "discourse" (aka the main target for bullies in online queer spaces) The argument was that no one can tell you're asexual unless you tell them. That mlm and wlw can be clocked in public by homophobes and thus are the targets of violence but asexuals aren't going to be holding hands with the wrong person so clearly we don't experience any type of oppression. At it's heart it's the same argument I see against afab enbies. It's this idea that going through life hiding your actual identity is a privilege, that somehow staying in the closet all the time is fun and easy, it's the idea that the only meaningful form of oppression is random violence from complete strangers, that non-violent bigotry doesn't really matter, and that violence from people you know is somehow less common or less important. It's people acting as though the only reason that someone might seek out queer spaces is to avoid that violence from strangers, and that seeking out queer spaces for emotional support or to form connections is somehow "taking up resources" or an "invasion" of a space where they don't belong. It's the same oppression olympics that I hate with every fiber of my being, that does nothing but turn us against each other and distract from our actual oppressors.

Afab enbies wanting to exist and be acknowledged no matter their gender presentation is not an act of violence against other trans people.

It took me years to come to terms with my asexuality because of the way asexuals were targeted when I was a teenager, and I hate to think that there are going to be people growing up now that struggle to come to terms with their gender identity because of the way enbies are being talked about.

[bisexualamy]

my project falls in between the cracks of different overlapping artistic areas (it's not a film it's audio, it's audio fiction not audio journalism) but it really is something else that i qualify for a lot more grants now catered to "gender minorities" bc the other half of my production staff is a cis(het) woman tbh it feels a bit like a slap in the face.

i am a trans person writing about other trans people yet i do not qualify for so many of these grants for gender minorities bc they're specifically for "women and nonbinary people". i am a trans person who does not qualify but so many cis women do.

talking about transmasc erasure is exhausting bc ironically ppl get so hung up on the man part of the trans man identity and i just want to shake people and say i'm trans i'm trans stop forgetting that i'm trans. my experiences with systemic gender discrimination are closer to women (trans & cis) and nb people than they'll ever be to cis men's

[not-gray-politics]

Hey btw I see a lot of well-meaning people use "you can't change your gender" interchangeably with "you can't control your gender" and I wanna say that while you may not mean to, by saying that you are in fact erasing the existence of genderfluid people and it kinda sucks

[dayscapism]

Can someone please tell me at the end if they actually made Loki bi and didn't went back on their world and if he and Mobius become boyfriends or cannon?? Because I can't stand another season of queerbaiting I just can't 😭

[transenbyconfessions]

TW: transphobia, suicidal thoughts/wanting to not be alive anymore

transphobia is so so so incredibly bad right now and it has been getting worse in the last 5-10 years. what makes it worse is that so many cis people don’t even realize how bad it is. they don’t realize how lucky they are to be cis, they have this HUGE privilege they don’t even recognize and it hurts. i hate myself so much that i wish i was dead because i wish i was cis so much it physically hurts. i’m sitting here, listening to people say “homophobia” as a way to refer to all lgbt-phobia and you just can’t do that… the hate different people in the community face is different for each identity and they all experience different levels and different kinds of hate. i was in a class about “how we got to today”, a class about history mostly in the US. we had a unit called “LGBTQ history” but all the teacher did was talk about stonewall and only mentioned the gay men involved. that is not lgbtq. that is just the g. it’s so tiring. i feel so erased and pushed aside. everything i do and say and stand up for at my school is ignored. i’ve put up posters, talked to administrators and counselors, i’ve tried my hardest to get notice and improve the education about trans people but nothing has changed. i’m so exhausted. i’ve given up.

Submitted March 23, 2023

As always, I encourage anyone in crisis, or who otherwise needs support, to reach out to those who are qualified. Trans Lifeline is hotline available in the US and Canada.  The Trevor Project has a hotline, textline, and chatline available, and I believe is also for the US and Canada. If you’re not in a country where it is available, Befrienders has hotlines for different countries.

[vbs-kaitos-big-naturals]

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[chillywillow1]

Artist who can only draw one chest size when they see a flat character

[dieamoric]

my official stance on the word queer

it is exhausting how 2 people have directly approached me over this and more have indirectly commented on it. please leave me alone and stop breaking my dni.

it would be infinitely more meaningful and worthwhile to instead of harassing queer teens or adults on the internet for using the word queer, being queer, or not calling queer a slur, that you instead either scroll past, block these blogs, or crack open archive.org or another queer history library online or irl in order to learn about the actual history of the word instead of parroting stuff that came before you from people who revel in the fact that you fell for their rhetoric.

queer WAS a slur, and is still used as a slur in various places, mostly the south in the US. i acknowledge this and understand this better than others, apparently, because i also acknowledge that it has, in fact, truthfully, been reclaimed by the entire lgbt community decades ago.

i refuse to let my oppressors use queer against me, because it's my word, OUR word, and using it for OURselves is empowering us and OUR community, and refusing to let our oppressors use OUR word to hold power over us

i am not censoring the word, i am not calling it a slur, i will never trigger tag for it, the most you are going to get is me outright tagging the word or using it in my post. please use the post and tag blocking function in tumblr settings for it's intended purpose if it bothers you.

when i say that my and others usage of the word as an academic term and an identity does not affect you, this is what i mean. you have the options to reduce the 'harm' you are experiencing at hearing or seeing the word to zero, and yet you seek it out. by purposely triggering yourself you are self harming? as somebody who does this too, you need to practice some self control against your impulses. ask a friend for help stopping you before you doomscroll or engage perhaps. back on topic:

when i call my community queer and refer to 'queers' or queer people, i am referring to people who are also queer and do not mind the word, or even like it. to me the queer community is one and the same as the lgbt community, but if you want to alienate yourself because of hangups with that particular word, then that's your prerogative.

queer is a neat little word to encompass a broad range of identities and people, i do not purposely go out of my way to refer to people individually as it because i am well enough aware that some people do in fact do not want to be called it.

majority of the people i personally talk to are either okay with the word, or have enough understanding and comprehension skills that they are aware that i am not using it as a slur when i say the word at all in reference to our either shared identities, or different identities.

when i say that queer is not a slur outright i am, not to be redundant, referring to how the entire lgbt community have re-adopted the word from our oppressors in order to empower, uplift, and find comradery ourselves under that label.

i am NOT saying that it has never been a slur, or that it still isn't used in a derogatory way here and there, or that it hasn't been used towards me in a derogatory way, because all of these things are true.

i am however saying that your insistence that it is a dirty word that should not be used as an umbrella term for an entire group of people, or that it hasn't been reclaimed by this entire group of people, and instead only ever individually, is in fact terf rhetoric. or radfem rhetoric if you want to get extremely pedantic with me.

i block people on sight who tag things like "q slur" or say that "queer is a slur" unironically without a single critical thought of where that phrase even came from. i block people who sui bait, mock, or otherwise harass people who say the same thing as me. i block posts i don't like, as well.

i do not care to hear your opinion. i am exercising tools available to me on this website to curate my own space so i may experience things the way i want to, without coming across something that makes me feel bad or stresses me out. i encourage you all to do the same if you adamantly refuse to do your own research, get out from your echo chambers, or realize there is more to just terfism than just hating transfems and trans women.

do not make it my problem. because it isn't. this is MY blog and you can all block me if you don't like what i say on it.

[allixirr]

BRO sometimes i get sucked into the very obvious fanservice scenes and i fall for it hook line and sinker like??? oh a poor little guy with a sad back story and a pretty face with questionable morality??? suddenly i am an unhinged straight girl

[flora-bigs]

What about nb's?

it's not really a societally accepted thing to be nonbinary or queer in the Patchwork, again, society is very binary-gendered there. This ofc causes problems when my character Malice shows up, because she is a trans woman who used to be a dwarf

[genderkoolaid]

I hate how sometimes as a transmasc guy I feel like I'm betraying the cause kind of. Like I end up feeling awkward about stuff that's supposed to be great for women because it's not for me anymore.

Most recent time came when I stumbled upon some reddit drama over women only parking spaces which are in better lit areas close to the exit. I don't want to side with the "I guess I'll identify as a woman for ten minutes while I park" types but sometimes I feel like I'm forced to shove myself back into the woman box if I want that safety.

Also the many "girls in STEM" opportunities. Like it's good that they're there, but I hate having to either feel really uncomfortable but still get the opportunity or try and navigate that world how a man would while I still look and sound like a cis woman.

Also this one orchestra I'm in, where a while ago we were trying to pick a composer to commission, and the director noted that he decided not to put any white male composers on the recommended shortlist. Again, I get where he's coming from, but then I worry that once I transition I'll be just another white male. Maybe that would net me some opportunities if I pass well, but it hurts a bit knowing that in some people's eyes I'll fade into the boring grey amalgamation of suits and ties oppressing everyone else.

I think this is a pretty common experience.

This is what happens when feminism fails trans men & other gender-oppressed people who are not women. Cisfeminism in general forces trans people to fight over who gets to count as a woman & therefore be deserving of feminist support, because the feminist framework being used was never made for us. The fact that trans people who aren't women- or aren't exclusively women, or are read as cis men- are vulnerable and under-represented goes ignored & we struggle to have our voices heard.

Its also part of the harmful ways trans men are expected to act in order to have our identities respected. We are expected to pass, go stealth (or at least not bring up being trans "too much"), and never talk about how our experiences differ from those of cis men. Nonbinary & genderqueer transmascs are expected to either dissociate themselves from men or never talk about being NB/GQ. We are told we are othering ourselves when we point out that groups in which cis men are heavily represented have never featured trans men to any remotely similar extent. It sucks and its part of "affirming" transmasc erasure: instead of being erased through misgendering, we are erased by having our transness ignored so no one actually has to confront societal & individual bigotry against trans-men.

[anarcho-smarmyism]

I read Bi: The Hidden Culture, History, and Science of Bisexuality by Julia Shaw and I was shocked at how much more severe the issue of biphobia and bimisogyny is than most people, even within the bisexual community, even realize. I’ve posted links to the relevant quotes from this book and organized them under these broad points:

bi men are targeted by both homophobia and biphobia; biphobia bi men experience is a materially distinct oppression than homophobia;

bi women are targeted by both lesbophobia and biphobia; bimisogyny, the intersection of misogyny and biphobia, is a materially distinct oppression from lesbophobia;

bisexuals of color, disabled bisexuals, and trans/nb bisexuals experience profound erasure from bi representation and scholarship, and access to necessary resources;

bi people experience "double discrimination"/biphobia from the straight and gay communities; bi ppl are at risk of discrimination for bisexuality specifically;

This biphobic discrimination in the gay community goes back decades;

the terminology used to describe gay rights is often exclusive of us to a damaging degree. this means in addition to specific biphobic struggles, bisexuals often must face generalized homophobia without the "buffer" of acceptance in the larger LGBT+ community and with some enhanced difficulties acquiring LGBT+ resources; and finally,

positive aspects of bisexuality and bi identity/nuance corner.

The most important information I found is that bi+ people have a higher rate of mental health issues, suicidal and self-harm issues, addiction, isolation, rape, IPV, stalking, abuse, and are less likely to be out as bisexual or to have strong connections to the larger LGBT+ community to act as a buffer against discrimination, as opposed to lesbians and gay men. They are also erased and denied access to LGBT+ spaces, resources, and legal protections. As opposed to gay men and lesbians, the particularities of the bisexual experience includes 1) experiencing double discrimination, 2) less likely to be out, resulting in mental health issues 3) bisexuals are more isolated on average than LG people, and 4) bisexuals struggle with internalized biphobia. I've broken down these arguments and sourced further information on the material affects of biphobia here on my Wordpress blog, since Tumblr won't let me post the full quote all at once, but you can find the quotes with the specific research and studies I'm basing these claims on in my tag for this book or under my general book quotes link, #education multiplies power

[ciaran]

what Imane Khelif is facing is transmisogyny, but I think it's ultimately kind of misleading to term it “misdirected transmisogyny.” i think cis people can experience transphobia but that's not the main point. it's that the gendersex polarity punishes divergence in all its forms, which manifests in a multitude of ways (transphobia, exorsexism, intersexism[?]) and she's catching that. the gendersex polarity has certain common tropes (the confused nb teenager, the genderfreak, the autistic woman cutting off her breasts, the predatory man) which are applied in situations where they may not exactly fit, because the gendersex polarity is absolutely unconcerned with nuance or accuracy and only cares about punishing deviance by applying any easily available trope to pressure people into disappearing whether that disappearance is ultimately executed through overt violence or covert violence in the form of erasure (which is not an isolated act but the systematic enabling of other forms of violence). so it's not to say that what she's experiencing is “misdirected.” the scrutiny and violence are targeted precisely at her for being intersex, & for being gnc woman. but the trope is one that “doesn't fit,” that's all