#needed to put this out there bc. yeah i need to clarify some things

[jettorii]

general

- sfw tk blog for art and the occasional fic once in a blue moon!!

- i use they/them prns!! fine w he/him as well idm being called a guy or any other masc slang

- no nsfw will be posted on this blog!! but please keep in mind i will make the occasional innappropriate joke and swear hehe this blog is not family friendly

- however i do draw nsfw comms and have a personal side blog dedicated to intense tkls + suggestive art +. xreader content n just me with no filter. dm if youre if youre interested in following :3 (18+ only!!)

boundaries!!

- minors and ageless blogs dni!!

- if you fetishize asian culture, are a proshipper dni

- nsfw blogs feel free to interact but please respect that i myself do not see tickling as a kink, just something silly n cute

- please do not get upset if i post and have yet to respond to an ask or dm!! sometimes i just want to share some thoughts or yap ill get back to you when i can :]

[feyburner]

This is part of a longer thing I may post on ao3 at some point but here’s some silly little Jaytim texting AU. I use this format as a writing warmup.

EDIT: This has been posted on AO3.

[Unknown] »

Hey. This is Jason. 

I have a favor to ask. You can say no.

« tim

uh

1. i’m aware of how favors work  

2. what is it?

« tim

?

« tim

hey are you like. good

J »

Yeah fine 

Sry. Rethinking this maybe

« tim

what, do you need a kidney or something?

i can’t give you a kidney.

i don’t have any organs to spare.

J »

What ? 

« tim

what’s the favor?

J »

I wouldn’t ask if it wasnt important

I’d ask Roy but hes in star city 

or Kori but shes off world

I tried dickhead but hes in haven. Cant get away tonight

« tim

yeah jason i get it lol

J »

So Im currently in the cargo hold of a private yacht

« tim

what >?

J »

We’re caught in the storm thats hitting the city its a whole thing. 

« tim

are you in the cargo hold of your own volition or did someone put you there

J »

So I dont think I can get back t

No its on purpose

« tim

hang on. you’re in gotham bay right now? in a boat?  

jason this storm is really bad.

it’s already sunk a houseboat and a fishing boat at the marina

J »

I dont think I can get back totown toni

Christ you type fast 

Shut up for a sec. Clam down

Clam*

*Calm fuck me

Thought I was gnna be back tonight but bc of storm its not looking great.

Can you feed my sourdough starter 

« tim

what

J »

4511 overhill apt 6D 

Key under the neighbors mat. 6H

« tim

hey to clarify. “its not looking great” ← what does that mean

J »

Starter is on counter. in glass jar 

Should just need one feeindg. Maybe 2. depending 

« tim

on???

J »

On wwhen I get back?

« tim

so you do plan on coming back

J »

Yeah timothy I’m in a boat not the heart of Mount Doom

« tim

yeah? vaders not there? so that means everything’s fine? 

J »

Did you

jst say Vader

As in Darth

« tim

??? 

J »

Oh my god

« tim

jason are you in peril or what.

J »

No im not in “peril” lol.

Did you see the thing I said about my sourddough starter

It needs to be fed

« tim

wtf is a sourdough starter

nvm i googled it

J »

Its a live bacteria colony you use to m 

Oh ok

Yeah so it just needs 50g lukewarm water + 50g flour

Theres a scale next to the jar

Stir until it looks like hummus

Put lid back on

The end

« tim

the internet says if you put it in the fridge it doesn’t need daily feedings

J »

Sure. But that would mess up my bread schedule

« tim

your bread schedule 

J »

Man are gyou gonna fuckin feed Breadie Mercury or should I find someone else

« tim

im already en route. 

J »

Oh

Ok

Thank you.

Wtf dont text and motorbike  

« tim

how about you dont text and Sinking Boat

J »

Hey its not like I’m gonna cause a boat crash

« tim

i was stopped at a red light 😐

anwyay i’m at your place.

1. why do you not have a security system. when you said key under the neighbor’s mat i thought you were joking. 

2. how warm is lukewarm

J »

1. I’m the security system

« tim

just rolled my eyes so hard it actually physically hurt

J »

God youre annoying

2. ? Its lukewarm

« tim

ohhhhh thanks! that’s so helpful :) here i am trying not to murder your incredibly important bacteria colony that i just drove across town for but no thats great jason very descriptive thanks :) 

J »

Like warm but not too wram, nothing you’d want to take a bath in

Can you fucking

I TYPE SLOW.

« tim

ok.

[Image Attached]

he is fed

J »

Thanks man.

Sincerely.

« tim

so hows the cargo hold going

still intact i assume? 

J »

Mostly ya

« tim

pardon? 

J »

Slight leakage. Nothing major

« tim

oh? are you a boatologist now? 

i dont think you’re qualified to judge that?

J »

Moving right past “boatologist” out of the goodness of my heart.

Chill lol. If it was rly bad thered probably be some sort of alar

Hm.

« tim

did an alarm just start going off

J »

Dont worry about it

« tim

im not. 

did it though

also which yacht? im in the marinas scheduling dtabase

blue miracle, serendipity, carp-e diem? which one

« tim

jason?

« tim

if this is a joke it’s not funny

oh cool you’re not on comms either. great.

hey if youre dead again and i just fed your stupid starter for nothing im gonna be soooo mad just fyi

« tim

ugh.

*

J »

Hey

Thanks again for the

I’m not gonna say “save” bc I was doinf just fine on my own.

But thanks for the backup.

Lmk when youre home

Nope sorry lol you dont have to do that.

Night.

« tim

home

J »

Also I just saw your messaages from

Ah. 👍

From earlier. 

« tim

you mean from when you said “huh, this boat seems to be filling with water” and then disappeared? those messages? 

J »

Those were not my exact words.

« tim

right. your exact words contained somehow even less information 

J »

Shut up

I just wanted to 

You know. Youre the only one who jokes about it

The only one in the family I mean

your family, I mean

The bats.

« tim

? 

the only one who jokes about what

J »

Me being dead

« tim

oh. 

ok. well

its not like. actually funny to me. i was just annoyed. sorry i guess

J »

No thats not 

Tim. Shut up.

I dont mind. I like that one of you does. 

Its better than people talking around it. Like its this big shameful thing I did.

One of many

If I mention it in front of dickhead he does the face

the :~{ face

« tim

wow its uncanny

uh. for the record. 

i don’t think that’s the reason people talk around it

if im correct in thinking that by “people” you mean “one specific person whose name rhymes with Rat Can” 

 

J »

Yeah well

I just

Christ never mind. Im sorry. You are not the person to be sayign this to.

Im gonna shut the fuck up I think. 

Goodnight.

« tim

oh what, you can’t talk to me about being dead bc of that one time you tried to kill me? 

and failed btw :/ 

J »

Tim

Not to be so unchill

But you know how me being dead isnt actaully funny to you

« tim

…got it. sorry

J »

No. don’t apologize to me

Ever

I’m serious 

« tim

like for anything? 

what if i killed breadie mercury 

J »

You didnt. He is thriving

« tim

he is?

wait. really?

you can tell?

J »

[Image Attached]

Hes doubled in size since you fed him.

« tim

whoa

J »

Yup. Thanks again for thattoo.

*that too

Its stupid but hes kinda my son.

« tim

wouldn’t he technically be like, 10 billion sons

J »

He is my 10 billion sons.

« tim

lolol

wow. why am i so pleased hes thriving lol 

J »

Right

« tim

jeez

i was so worried about the water temp

google said lukewarm is 98-105 so i did 98 to be safe

J »

You used a thermometer? 

« tim

your instructions were vague!

i didnt want to kill your bacteria colony!

J »

Thanks Tim.

« tim

? you already said that lol

i gotta pass out btw

glad you didnt die: the sequel in a yacht

that would have been so cringe

night jason

J »

Night

*

J »

You up?

« tim

obviously

why

J »

Could use your eyes on something.

[Image Attached]

« tim

morse code but the dots and dashes are reversed and its spelling backwards in russian, ASTITP AYALEB AVD RTSIRP → PRISTR DVA BELAYA PTITSA → PIER TWO WHITE BIRD

J »

Bc it looks like morse but its not, its kind of scrambl 

Ok jesus christ . 

30 seconds? Seriously? Fuck me

Can I hire you? Jesus lol

« tim

that depends. do you pay more than batman?

J »

The fuck? Does he pay you guys now?

« tim

no.

J »

Then yes. I do pay more than batman.

« tim

how much more

J »

One coffee per codebreak? 

« tim

:\

J »

Two coffees per codebreak

Two and a loaf of sourdough

« tim

sourdough from breadie mercury?

J »

Ya

« tim

done

J »

Damn. I feel like you should have higher standards

« tim

i mean i was already gonna do it for free

now i have successfully negotiated coffee & sustenance 

im on a roll. nothing but Ws 

J »

Ws?

« tim

its young people slang you wouldn’t get it ❤️

J »

I am barely 3 years older htan you.

It could be argued, considering certain events, that we’re basically the same age.

« tim

and yet you text like an old, old man

J »

I do not

Would you rather I texted like “idk brb lmao roflcopter”

« tim

ROFLCOPTER?

oh my god. ohhhhhh jason. oh my god

that is absolutely not what the kids are saying these days. oh my god

J »

Ok you know what. At least I know Mount Doom isnt a Star Wars thing

« tim

? 

oh, is it star trek? 

J »

I’m 99% sure youre antagonizing me on purpose

But have you seriously not read or watched Lord of the Rings

« tim

no i have not.

J »

Hm.

« tim

what

J »

Nothing.

« tim

……….what

*

« tim

did you NARC on me

to BRUCE

about LORD OF THE RINGS?????

J »

I don’t know what you’re talking about.

« tim

WHY DO I NOW HAVE 3 SEPARATE SUNDAY AFTERNOON “HOUSE MEETINGS” BLOCKED OFF IN MY CALENDAR, JASON? 

WHY ARE THEY EACH 4 HOURS LONG?

WHY ARE THEY LABELED “CULTURAL EDUCATION (MANDATORY)”? 

J »

I can’t pretend to know what goes on in B’s mind.

That said, I have reason to believe he and Alfred take lotr pretty seriously.

« tim

its a TWELVE HOUR MOVIE

about GOBLINS

J »

I’m not gonna respond to that bc I know youre just lashing out.

« tim

if youve sentenced me to 12 hours of a movie i hate i’m gonna hack everything you own. 

im gonna mass text the entire cape wearers community the footage of that time condiment king kicked your ass so bad he felt guilty and offered to personally help you out of the mustard pool 

J »

What the fuck

How do you fuckig know about ?????? that???????? 

Not that ithahpened 

What hefuckk ??

« tim

ooooooooo you better hope i love these goblins!

J »

Why are you?? evil??

« tim

you should have killed me when you had the chance!!

sorry.

J »

Its ok. That one was pretty funny tbh.

Oh hm shouldnt have laughed just then. Bad timing on my part

Brb

« tim

uh

« tim

ok…….. getting reports of a “disturbance” at pier two…….. 

« tim

sorry were you texting me *mid-standoff* with the russian mafia

« tim

ugh.

*

« tim

you know tracking your location would be so much easier if i didn’t have to hack into your comm sys every time

luckily your encryption is garbage but still. its 2 minutes of my life i wont get back.

J »

Not sure I recall giving you permission to track my location?

« tim

oh i’m sorry. next time i will simply leave you to go down with a texas oil magnate’s incredibly tacky yacht, or get swiss cheesified by mobsters 

J »

Hey I wrapped up the russians myself 

« tim

yeah? 

J »

…

Yeah….

« tim

so you thought the 12-minute universal signal jam was the act of a benevolent god? 

J »

:-|

« tim

im just saying it would be significantly more efficient if you agreed to a tracker

just one little tracker. you wouldn’t even notice it’s there.

think of all the time and energy you’d save me

J »

I feel the need to point out that you don’t have to repeatedly hack my comms system.

« tim

i mean it’s that or monitor sightings on the gocitizen app

i have an algo that texts relevant pings to me, which is super helpful for when i want an inbox full of random people talking about how hot you are. less helpful for literally every other circumstance 

J »

Uh

What

« tim

how hot *red hood is. to clarify

in their opinion

the people’s opinion

J »

?

« tim

the people of gotham city

J »

The people of Gotham city do not think Red Hood is hot lol

« tim

wait 

i cant tell if you’re being serious

J »

Uh? Yeah Im being serious? Lol tf

Why would they think hes hot 

They dont think Batman is hot 

« tim

o…kay…

huh.

how to… hmm

J »

Like nightwing sure

And the girls. Bc of objectification of women

« tim

oh wow

J »

Red Robin. If i had to guess

But when people see Hood its definitely not… that kind of response lol

« tim

what kind of response, exactly

J »

You know like saying “Hey Hood youre hot” 

« tim

oh, wow. 

okay. ummm

hmm. one sec.

J »

?

« tim

check your email 

J »

Ok…? 

J »

Oh my fucking god.

« tim

yeah

J »

Oh my god?

« tim

yeah

J »

This document is fucking 45 pages long?

« tim

its everything from the past 30 days yeah

J »

The past

Whaht the fuck

Ok some of these people definitely got hit by Poison Ivy.

This is . Tim wtf. I havent even heard of some of this stuff. 

« tim

oof are you on page 14

J »

Im on page 3???

« tim

oh my god

J »

What the fuck

Please please tell me its not like this for Batman too

Tim

« tim

its not like this for batman :)

J »

Ok. Jesus. I would genuinely have to move cities.

« tim

its worse :)

J »

Oh what the fuck

Oh my fucking god page 14.

You get this shit TEXTED to you?????

Ohm ygod. You read this?????

« tim

i mean

no

i glance at it

for security purposes.

i dont like, read it read it

anyway did you seriously not know? haha

J »

No??? Again its not like people tell me

« tim

yeah but

like

theres a certain level of objectivity involved, here

yknow

sorry im trying to find a non awkward way to be like “have you looked in a mirror lately” 

« tim

sorry

that was in fact awkward!

nvm

just let me know if you’d be ok with the tracker. its fine if not

i was mostly joking about the hacking

J (From Work) »

No you weren’t.

« tim

no i wasnt

i dont mind though. its like a brain teaser

anyway im going dark for patrol, later

*

J (From Work) »

[Screenshot Attached]

[Screenshot Attached]

[Screenshot Attached]

[Screenshot Attached]

[Screenshot Attached]

Question. why is the average Gotham citizen a raging horndog 

« tim

oh my god

you know i can tell you searched “red robin hot” right

J (From Work) »

Figured it was only fair

[Screenshot Attached]

This persons got some mad zoom lens skills

I’d think it was you, if it wasnt, yknow, you

« tim

wow. that is certainly a photo of my ass

…a stellar photo of my ass. wow. 

do you have a direct link? i gotta send this to steph

J (From Work) »

goctz.app/user/3824973/post/29348230df3

Haha

I kinda thought you and blondie broke up

back on again?

« tim

no lol we are very much just friends

she has a thing going with someone who shall remain nameless but suffice to say it’s Going

anyway we just send each other gocitizen vigilante ass shots 

its a whole genre

they’re like trading cards

J (From Work) »

Guess everyone’s got a hobby?

« tim

the only rule is no nightwing

J (From Work) »

Do I want to know why

« tim

he accounts for a frankly overwhelming percentage of vigilante ass shots

so its too easy

you’d THINK we’d have a no-batman rule, because ew, but due to the cape and his sixth sense for cameras pointed at him, a qualifying shot is actually extremely rare. 

← only guy who ever managed to take quality photos of batman 

anyway, we put it to a vote. i lost.

J (From Work) »

A vote between you and Steph? 

You lost a 50/50 vote?

« tim

i dont wanna talk about it.

J (From Work) »

Right. 

So what I’m getting from this is you have Red Hood ass shots in your phone.

« tim

no

J (From Work) »

No?

« tim

well

J (From Work) »

Yeah?

« tim

we don’t like, save them

that would be weird

we just notify each other. professionally, as colleagues 

and keep an ongoing points tally

thats all

so i do not currently have photos of your ass in my phone. thank you

J (From Work) »

How many points is my ass worth

« tim

i hate everything about this conversation

J (From Work) »

Its 100% your own fault, answer the question

« tim

if you must know. 

points are awarded based on a series of objective scoring criteria.

J (From Work) »

Uh huh. Like what

« tim

technical excellence

composition. lighting and color balance. 

dynamism 

J (From Work) »

Dynamism…

« tim

creativity

umm

emotional impact

and 

subject matter

J (From Work) »

I see.

« tim

ok i know it sounds bad

J (From Work) »

It sounds fucking hysterical Im near tears 

« tim

but if you think abou

oh

okay, well, great

J (From Work) »

I’ll let you know if I stumble on any more. 

Or is that cheating

« tim

its totally cheating

please do

J (From Work) »

You got it red. 👍

« tim

:)

[romanarose]

Flannel

Jackson!Joel Miller x gn!reader

Masterlist : Taglist

Summary: Joel comes back from patrol with some clothes for you, but doesn't understand the sentimentality of your old one.

Warnings: Uh nothing?

Immersability: Reader is gender neutral bc I saw no reason to have a gender, however, i generally write fem!reader so if I slip up and used a pronoun or something fem presenting, let me know!

**************

"Honey?" You call to your husband downstairs. Joel was cooking dinner. It was getting chilly, even with the generated heat in Jackson, and you wanted to wrap up in your favorite flannel. It was a worn thing, dirty and stained and more than a few patches but it was a comfort to you.

"Hm?" Joel couldn't hear you. His hearing in his bad ear had only gotten worse as he aged, so you hopped your way down the stairs to see him. God he looked good with an apron on.

"Joel, baby, have you seen my flannel?"

He turned to you as he stirred the soup. It smelled amazing. "The one I just brought back? It's on the bed, last time I saw."

Joel had found a box of old winter clothes while looking through houses on an overnight search, and stole a flannel aside just for you earlier this week. It was a great flannel, thick and warm and durable, and you were so, so grateful, but not the one you were looking for.

You shook your head. "No, not that one." Taking out spoon, you sneak a sip of the tomato soup he had been brewing; garlic bread was in the oven.

"Hey." Joel playfully smacked your hand away. "I promised Ellie taste tasting."

"Damn right you did!" Ellie sauntered in, snatching the spoon away as Joel obligatory reminded her of her manners. "Delicous, when's dinner?"

Peeking in the oven, Joel decided the toast was toasty enough and grabbed a oven mitt. "I think right about now." Ellie woops and Joel turns to you. "Sorry darl'n, what was it you were look'n for?"

"My old flannel." You clarify. "I was hanging up last I rememeber."

Joel instructed Ellie to set the table, please and thank you. "Oh that old old thing? I donate it last week after I brought you a new one."

"Donated it? To who? I was falling apart." You begin to panic, heart beating at the thought of your comfort item being gone. Why would Joel do that? You had to get it back.

Looking confused, he set up dinner, even platting up yours and Ellie's soup and bread and a simple salad. "To scraps. You said it yourself, it was falling apart."

"But Joel, why? It was mine."

"Technically, it was mine." Joel tried to joke, but when Ellie cough, he looked to her and she made a face at him. Joel turned to you and saw your forlorn expression, he realized this wasn't a joke. "I'm sorry, baby. I thought you wouldn't need it since I got you a knew one."

"Joel, you can't just give away things that are mine…"

He nodded, setting down the food to give you his full attention. "You're right, darl'n." Joel took you in his arms, kissing your forehead. "I really am sorry, do you forgive me?"

You did, and you told him as much, then tried to sit down for a meal with your family. Joel clocked right away something was wrong, but opted to wait until family dinner was over. When he found you crying in the bedroom, he knew he fucked up, he just didn't understand why. It was just a flannel, a flannel that was useless. In fact, he specifically got the new one for you so that you could get rid of it. Joel thought you deserved the best, and he'd give you the best he could provide.

"Darl'n?" He asked carful as he approached. "What's wrong?"

You sniffle, wiping your eyes. "I'm sorry, I was trying to get it together."

"Is this about the shirt?"

"Yeah."

"But... Why? I'm sorry baby, I know you wanted to keep it... but I don't understand wasting your tears on it?" He cleared his throat. "Not that it's not important, it obvious is, I just don't understand... why?"

You smile at him, knowing he's trying him best. It was sweet, how much effort he put into being a good husband for you and a good dad for Ellie. "Do you remember the day you found me?"

"Clear as day."

It wasn't a fond memory to Joel. He was out on patrol when you came across you, starving and cold and stumbling; he wrapped you up in his flannel and took you on his horse to Jackson, and you never gave it back. To you, the flannel smelled like safety, like home. Wrapped up in its warmth that day, it smelled like Joel and in his arms you knew you were safe.

"That flannel makes me feel safe because it reminds me of you, it reminds me of the day you saved me, it makes me feel safe..."

Joel started carefully. "Darl'n, do you not feel safe?"

You shook your head vehemently, shaking off with it such a notion. "I feel safe, especially with you." Resting your head on his shoulders, you take his scent that comforted you so much. "It's just... I dunno, like a kid with a blanket or teddy, I guess."

Joel nodded. "I'm really sorry, darl'n. Really. I'll check by first thing tomorrow, see if they havn't cut it up and repurposed it yet, okay?"

"Yeah, okay." You sniffle, rubbing your face on his shirt but he didn't seem to mind. "And it's okay, you didn't mean anything by it."

*

It was already cut up, to late and too tattered to save in any meaningful way. He let you know, but you didn't seem so upset anymore; Joel had let you pick out a shirt of his to steal from now on, and you had already assumed it was gone.

What you didn't know is Joel had saved the scraps, taking them over to Maria and asking for help. He wasn't a creative by any means, but he did know how to sew a little. Being a single dad on a tight budget he had gotten hang of fixing up holes.

What he didn't know was what to do with the fabric; the final project was Maria's idea. She cut out the pattern for him and gave him the stuffing as well as a place to work away from your eye. When it was done, Joel held it up to her, rather proud. It turned out pretty nice.

*

"Darl'n?! You home?" Joel called a few days later.

"Upstairs, Joel!"

Joel approaches you doing the laundry, wearing the new flannel no less. His hands were behind his back. "I got a surprise you for you."

The broad smile on his face piqued your interest. "Oh?"

With pride, Joel reveals to you a plaid, stuffed, teddy bear.

"Joel..." You speak softly, taking the toy in your hands "Is that...?"

"My shirt? Yes ma'am." He was beaming. "They had already cut it up by the time I got to up, but I was able to save the scraps. Maria helped me with a pattern and we got this put together."

Tears welled up in your eyes, spilling over quickly. "Oh honey..."

His face flattered. "Oh, was I not supposed to-" You cut him off with a hug, burying you head in the warmth of his chest that had softened in age. "This is the sweetest thing anyone has done for me..."

You slept with the teddy bear in your arms, Joel's arm around you that night. This was even better than a flannel. The flannel would continue to wear and tear, needing to be patched up and cleaned the stains out of. A teddy bear would be there forever.

Just like Joel

*******************

Sweet baby Joel, trying his best <3

I have a tag list, if you'd like to join it's linked above??

@fandxmslxt69 @k-ra @whatthefishh @campingwiththecharmings @ahookedheroespureheart @littlenosoul @runa-falls @stevenandmarcslove @scarletthefierce @pikapuff-316 @del-ightfulling @miraclesabound @kirsteng42 @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction

[doberbutts]

My apologies about the weird ask! I saw pictures of ballet dancers bloody feet and let it color my view of it, figured if its painful for people with five toes it would be hell for anyone with more than that. Not that they couldn’t or shouldn’t do it, but that it’d be harsher on their feet. As someone who has wide feet that has a hard time with pointed shoes I was wincing 😅 sorry again should’ve kept it to myself

Oh, you're talking about images like this?

Tbh this is fairly extreme and mostly you see this with ill-fitting shoes or with professionals who don't give their feet a break (bc they can't, bc this is their livelihood). Dancing small time competitions in the local rec center shouldn't do this to your feet unless your shoes really suck or your instructor is very hard on you (by ballet standards- ballet instructors are stereotypically fairly tough anyway).

However, ballet does permanently change the way your foot is shaped and the way your joints work.

Not just your feet but your whole body. Especially when started very young, so since I started at 4 and I have a bazillion things wrong with me anyway I was kind of pre-destined to have some problems from ballet later in life. Don't get me wrong, there were also many benefits, and I LIKE ballet, but ballet and foot problems later in life kind of go hand in hand regardless of what your foot was shaped like when you were born.

It's a rigorous discipline and people don't take it seriously because it's seen as hyperfeminine and also because they see how effortless the dancers make the moves look, and they don't see the work it takes to create that visual. So it's very shocking when non-dancers happen upon images or discussions of the drawbacks.

As said before, I never went en pointe due to ankle weakness I couldn't quite fix, so that photo where her ankle is bent at an extreme angle? Yeah my instructor wouldn't let me go en pointe bc she was afraid I'd snap the bones in my ankle the second I tried that move. Ballet flats aren't nearly as bad on your feet as pointe shoes (pointe shoes are in each of those photos), so it wasn't the shoe itself that beat up my feet but the wear and tear of executing the dance moves.

These are flats- much more flexible than pointe shoes and what young children learn on before their skill and development reaches a safe point to graduate to pointe shoes. They're really just a piece of soft leather or satin held on by a stretchy band. Little kids should never be in pointe shoes and I genuinely caution anyone whose instructor told them it was safe before hitting double digits to find a different instructor for whatever kid before they do massive, permanent damage to their feet. Pretty much every medical study out there says you should be at least 11, and preferably 13-15, before you move off of flats.

My instructor believed the same. I stopped ballet because I was tested twice before being allowed to go en pointe and both times failed due to ankle weakness, at about 13-15. So in high school I switched disciplines because otherwise I'd be a teenager dancing with a bunch of little kids still in flats.

THAT BEING SAID I do feel the need to clarify that I have not had extra toes or fingers after my first week of life, because they were banded pretty much immediately after birth and fell off shortly thereafter. So I wasn't some 6-toed kid forcing myself into an unforgiving wooden shoe, I was a 5-toed kid in effectively soft leather moccasins that just happened to have slightly wider feet than you'd expect. I'm not putting photos of my feet on this blog but unless I point it out you wouldn't really be able to tell I was born with extras until I show you the remnants of the little "shelf" where the extras would have grown out of.

I do appreciate the concern- just keep in mind how it might be coming across next time.

[sillygh0st]

I vodwatched Cellbit first qsmp vod and wrote down MANY moments that I barely see people talking about o/

Felps crashing the ship bc he trought that It was like using a bike is well know on the comunity, but the ship was also haunted btw

Mike first interaction with richas was him joking about sitting on Richas to hatch him??? My headcanon about qmike being a creeper hybrid with pink feathers was born after this lol

Roier giving diamonds to Cellbit :')

“There's always a fool and a scoundrel leaving the house, you're the scoundrel" (Tem sempre um otário e um malandro saindo de casa, você é o malandro) Cellbit to Richas

Richas taking time to write and writing that she would like to live with her parents :')

Cellbit asked richas who were his parents and Richas responded “vocês” (pac mike Cellbit e felps) <3

Cellbit saying 4 papais aww

Richas saying that he will live wherever his parents want :')

They calling quackity a vagabundo 😭

Slime with Richas for 0.1 seconds and cellbit coming shouting "não não Richas!! Papais!! Papais!!” ( He didn't wanted richas to be with slime and wanted richas to be with his papais :’)

He keeps saying "our son" awwww

"Take the sword your pai gave you!" (Pega a espada que o pai te deu!)

Richas raising the "feed" sign and his 4 papais all desperate looking for food to feed him :'))

Cellbit fighting with Bobby oh no

Cellbit saying he loves Roier but not Bobby aww :’)

Cellbit e slime KISSING!!!!

"Desculpa sou meio manco" (1:49:21)

Cellbit talking photo of them together ,,

"Abrigado pela comida"

"Você só odeia os ovos pq não tem um!!"

Quackity 1% Richas father + Cellbit 24% too yayyy

“You teach spanish and we teach crimes and guns!” Cellbit to quackity talking about Richas LMAO

Quackity singing nossa nossa assim você me mata omg I forgot about this momment

SHAKE BOLOLO

“oi filho!” (Cellbit to Richas)

Everyone dying bc of a bull and a muscle zombie 😭😭

Richas model disappearing and everyone freaking out bc he turned into a tall white thing 😭😭😭 also first time that cucurucho got mentioned for the Brazilians :O (Cellbit and felps were saying his name wrong for like 20 minutes LMAO)

“seus outros papais” “papai felps”

Mac e pike 😭

Richas doing parkour and Cellbit freaking out about him taking fall damage :’)

Richas falling into a hole and Cellbit screaming “tá tudo bem!! papai tá aqui) (its okay!! papai is here) :’(((((

felps said "eu peguei 4 packs" (I got 4 packs) and clarified that wasn't about pac their friend (pegar can be "got" or even "make out", even bc pac and pack rhyme ) and Cellbit said that was the first day, and that they needed a party before??????? while felps said "Not yet" about making out with pac???? ON THEIR FIRST TWO HOURS ON THE SERVER???

Cellbit and felps wanting to teach richas how to kill and richas that he will become a murder machine awwww

Richas died :’) cellbit screaming on chat saying everything wrong was funny

Cellbit telling felps that they need to lie about what killed richas LMAO they didn't wanted the others papais to be mad at them so yeah the necromancer appeared spawned 10 skeletons said “he is watching” and vanished cellps my beloved

Now cellbid said that they need to say that the necromancer had white eyes bc they have herobrine trauma LMAO (pac e mike old series)

“WE ARE CLONES FELPS” (seeing their dead bodies) is also the first time of cellbit saying that there is something wrong on the island :)

Cellps telling tazercraft and quackity ABOUT the “necromancer” but mike don't believe anything that they said LMAO

“Cocorocho vagabundo” - pac

OHHHH FUGA CRUMPS 👀 some long time before this cellbit and richas they hide them under a chest, after (2:42:00) mike says that he saw a white figure (they were saying cucurucho) opened and put something on the chest, felps went to open It and the tnt exploded, killing him. Richas almost split out that It was her and pai Cellbit that put the tnt there, Cellbit says that he didn't put in there, Pac says “oh yeah I don't think you would do this with …. felps'', saying it on a weird and different tone, probably the CC remembering that on fuga cell killed felps 👀👀👀👀👀 FUGA CRUMPS FUGA CRUMPS

Cellbit and pac went to a cave and the iconic celltw kiss happened omg

Cellbit talked with pac about them (fuga four) creating a secret laboratory under the favela where they would do secret and paranormal experiments ohhhhhhhh (chume paranormal LMAO)

Cellbit and pac founded a very weird place that looks like a mine maid by player with MANY torches, one moment cellbit lost pac and freaked out LMAO (they keep calling the place the herobrine cave lol)

“A casa do cocorocho” (they got cucurucho name wrong)

Cellbit wants to sing a lullaby for richas :’) pac is getting Diamonds to do a armor for Richas too awww

Cellbit gave pac a pickaxe and also asked for a stick while pac said “por você cellbit eu te dou 10 paus” (“for you cellbit, i gave to you 10 paus”, pau = stick/dick) and they both laughed

Cellbit almost threw away richas slime "não vou jogar fora o primeiro presente do meu filho” (im not going to throw away my first gift of my son) :’)

THEY LEFT THE CAVE AND ENDED UP ON FIT HOUSE. PAC SAID THAT IT'S A PRETTY AND DIFFERENT HOUSE GUYS GUYS. And now they ARE on Ramon house walking around ,,,,,, guys ,,,

CELLTW AGAIN. They are returning to the favela and Pac said that the day was beautiful and Cellbit straight up said that “com você nele o dia é sempre mais bonito né pac” (With you in it, the day is always more beautiful, right?)

Cellbit and pac returned to the favela with felps Mike e Richas!!! Felps and pac (idk who else too) honked to each other???? 😭 awww also Cellbit screaming for richas and running for him :’)

MIKE PAINTING OF RICHAS :’)

Cellbit and felps screaming and calling each other Crazy for talking alone (with their chats) lol

They are going to do richas first quests!! They are going to give a bath to Richas, Cellbit accidentally hit (pinched) him oh no babie :( they finished their bath and Richas Said “obrigado pais!” While Cellbit and felps suffered from how cute it was

RICHAS ON BED WITH HER FIRST LULLABY BY HER 4 PAPAIS :((((( richas sleeping while they try to be quiet to not wake up the baby!!! They are calling him cute <3

Oh wait they are singing a demoniac lullaby to awake her? 😭😭😭😭 What's wrong with them <3 they want richas to never get caught with his guard down, “olhos sempre abertos richarlyson” ,,,

“sleep with your eyes open" *kisses sounds from all her fathers*

mike caught richas getting up (prob richas admin geting ready to leave) and they started to be like “oh no he is in that age already ,,,,” and while calling their child cucurucho and STILL kept getting cucurucho name wrong LMAO

Richas sleeping model was put into their only bed and now are incredible sad that they lost their only bed 😭😭😭

RICHAS SLIME!! his placenta haha :’) they are so happy framing It on their house aww

Cellbit dancing to the sounds of a dying skeleton? 😭

Pac e Mike logging out!!! Also Cellbit sending kisses to pac and pac too omg celltw ,,😭😭

“beijinhos!!” (little kisses) - Pac e Cellbit for each other AWWWW

Cellbit talking with felps about bbh being the “necromancer and 100% ready to throw the blame on him 😭😭

Cellbit seeing felps talking to himself on the other house and calling him crazy while felps do the same for him god cellps I love you

Bbh appeared to talk with felps and Cellbit and give to them armor, cucurucho also appeared but disappeared quickly D:

Bbh talked with them about the federation oooooooh

Bbh left and after richas woke up!! Bom dia Richarlyson!!

They are making richas cativeiro room!!

“tem cheiro de cativeiro, tem som de cativeiro, tem gosto de cativeiro, mas não é um cativeiro!” felps to richas LMAO

They are putting him to sleep now!! cellbit tried to sing a demoniac lullaby for her but felps stopped him saying that it's a too old song!! So felps singed a song with alien high pitched noises 😭😭

Moments from the vod to yall!!!! so many lgbtqsmp moments and cute ones :3333

[mythicalmyles]

A dream i had has been haunting me so here i am.

A jock any sport my dream wasnt specific just a popular jock is the reader and he is just so popular and everyone loves him and of course everyone assumes since his this big jock his the dom in the relationship between him and his boyfriend when in fact his the complete opposite.

The boyfriend can be in the band or a part of the cheer team again it depends on the sport and my dreams never clarify, He hears one of these conversations and has a brilliant idea that he was gonna put the reader in his place and everyone is gonna know that place.

I have no idea what kinks would be used, Just kinky and maybe some praise but ropes are involved or something, just use your imagination

Honestly just nerds putting jocks in their place 🤭🤭

U have in turn haunted me with this request 😤 i hope u enjoy since u didnt say who so i used toby bc hhhh i hope das oke <3 yall need to tell me more dreams ong (football is soccer) also sorry for so much toby but hes my cc and i need hims content

/tobys back story for today, put up w bullying met you, go to college together he kills his parents a couple weeks before instead leaving them in the basement and hiding their deaths, tobys already snapped but still has comprehension of who he was as a kid/

college au/jealousy kinda fic/comfort at start kind

/violence(toby gets violent too a character who doesn’t matter)blood/minor gore(?)/

You let out a gasping huff, bending over hands on your knees as your body scraped for oxygen. Sweat caused your football strip to stick to you, you dragged the wet clothing off of your sticky body, fanning it hoping to cool yourself down. “Thats it for today ladies!” The coach shouted, finally dismissing you all from practise.

You wiped the sweat off of your brow using your shirt as you jogged to the locker rooms. Mentally preparing yourself for the stink of many sweaty men crammed into one room, you pushed the door open immediately hit with the odour and cringing. You ignored it and made your way to your locker, you were convinced of the fact the cleaners had never stepped foot in here.

You all but threw yourself down into a bench after collecting your things, leaning against the wall and taking deep breaths. Your soaking hair clung to you and you brushed it away, the wetness helping it stay out of your face. A towel was thrown next to you and you cocked an eyebrow up at the intruder, trying to keep the scowl off of your face when the team captain came into view.

His cocky smirk drove you to the brink of insanity, the urge to knock it off of his arrogant face overwhelming. “Whats the deal with you and twitchy?” You glowered at him. “Dont call him that.” He had the audacity to laugh as he began stripping, the locker room falling silent as your voices bounced around the room. “Well?” He laughed armed raised and looking around as if he was confused. “You fucking him or something?” You tried not to flush, doing your best to cover any affect he might see with a glare. “If we were? So what?” You challenged, keeping eye contact with the prick.

He laughed and shook his head. “Calm down princess no need to get so angry, was just askin’.” Before you could respond your boyfriends voice had your attention to him, shock covering your face as you thought he still had band practise. “Speak of rats and they come crawlin’.” Your captain was incredibly lucky your entire life was banking on a sports scholarship.

“Fuck you want?” Toby’s deep voice always sent shivers running up your spine, the anger in his tone not helping. He sounded even hotter when he was spitting fire at someone. You took a deep breath, ready to tell Toby to forget it and to go home. “Yeah he was telling us alll about how he fucks you.” Paul chucked, arms crossed as he smirked at you both.

You could feel how angry Toby was getting at this point, dealing with his shit for way longer then you had at this point. What you didn’t expect was for Toby to lunge forward slamming straight into paul and slamming his head off of the ground, you froze completely as your teammates rushed to pull the scraping two apart, well, Toby was currently punching Paul and Paul was currently taking it while wailing for him to stop.

Toby had changed a lot recently, he seemed a lot quicker to react with anger then he use to be. Eyes holding something dark that scared you, you wanted to run and pull him off. You really did. But Toby barely looked human in that moment, blood covering his face as he continually wailed into Paul. Your team mates finally pulled them apart and when Paul stood you couldn’t deny the relief that flooded you as you quickly ran to Toby.

You ran through the corridors, your footsteps slamming against the ground and echoing off of the walls. Toby suddenly took over, dragging you instead. Surprise took over you and you tried your best not to trip as you both ran towards your home.

Luckily you didn’t live far away, having a small house your parents had left you. You both practically broke the door down and you paused to stare at the back of Toby’s head. “Yo-you could’ve killed him.” You choked out after a few minutes of silence.

“And so what?” He suddenly growled out, bloody face staring you down as his eyes bugged out. Rage was still burning through his veins, you could see his twitching worsen as his breathing got more laboured. He marched towards you backing you into a wall. His hands slamming either side of your head. “So wh-what, huh? Whu-what if i di-d-d-id!.” He slammed his palms against the wall as his stutter worsened. “What then?” His voice was normal, almost sounding hallow as he spoke. His dull brown eyes gazed into yours, you could see the unshed tears gathering in his lashes. You felt a warm heat flood inside of your chest, making a promise in that moment.

Your shaking hand came to rest on his cheek, causing him to flinch. Shock was written across Toby’s face. “I’ll always love you.” You took a second to clear your throat. “No matter what. No matter what wrong you do. I. Love. You.” You kept looking into his eyes, hoping with each word it’d work its way into his head.

Toby’s mind had went blank, his heart twisting almost painfully as he say the earnest look in your eyes. Shining, full of love for him. Toby pushed his lips against yours, tongue quick to push its way into your mouth. He gripped your ass tight and pulled you close together, grinding your hips together. His mood swings always threw you through a loop, this one happened to be the most unsettling. “You know who yo-you belong to r-r-ri-right.” He stuttered out, eyes glued to your face. You bit your lip. “I belong to Toby Rogers.”

That was all it took for him to yank your jeans down, scooping you up into his arms and press you against the wall as his tongue made its way down your throat. Moans poured out of you as he ground against you, your back scraping against the wall with the force. “Th-tha-ts right. Good boy.” He made quick work of his fly, his cock flopping out and hitting against you. All you could do was moan in excitement as Toby lined himself up, he found his way to your neck his breath tickling your skin. He licked his lips, tongue flicking against your skin and sending your body shivering.

“T-Toby.” You whined you, grinding down against his cock and moaning as he pressed against your hole. “Sti-still we-wett from this morn-morni-.” He cut himself off with a growl, slamming into you and relishing in your scream and the way your nails dug into his shoulders. Toby easily fucked you against the wall, almost acting as if you weighed nothing. You wondered whether it had to do with his disorder or not. Toby was quick to fuck any thought out of your brain, in love with the dumb mess you turned into when you had sex.

“Who ma-makes you feel thi-is good?” You kept eye contact as he used you like a flesh light. “F-fuck, Toby, only Toby. You!” You screamed out as toby railed into your prostate, eyes crossing as he fucked you stupid. Toby growled and bit into your shoulder, you let out a yelp. Pain flooded your neck and Toby pulled back to give you a bloody smile, the idea of being marked by Toby forever going straight to your heart and cock. “Do it! Ma-mark me up. Want every-on-one to know who i bel-belong to.” You moaned out, Toby’s thick cock wreaking you from the inside out.

You choked as your orgasm came quick, sending you screaming Toby’s name as you came on his cock. The tight heat of your ass was enough to make him cum, the feeling of you actually cuming on his cock is what sent him over the edge, desperately fucking into you. Part of him hoped he left a hole no one else could ever fill.

His knuckles went white as he clung to to you, deep breathing as he rode his high out inside of you. He fell into you, pushing you into the wall as you held him. Hand making its way into his fluffy brown hair, you tugged it lightly to get those beautiful brown eyes you loved so much to look at you. Everytime you looked into his eyes you felt breathless, despite the tired, cold, hardened look to them that had developed, they still made your knees weak. “I love you.” You whispered against his lips, slotting them together after he repeated his words to you.

[speremint]

Good Omens S2 Thoughts

OBVIOUSLY spoilers for GO S2 below, so if you've not seen, and don't wanna be spoiled, don't read!

The tl;dr of this long post is that I loved S2, it was a lot of fun, and I love that it focused more on Az and Crowley, but I also think it was a little out of pocket and a little messy in writing.

Anyway I fuckin.. am still processing all of what I watched, and am currently rewatching with a friend, too, but here's my jumbled thoughts on S2 and especially the final episode because I'm having many emotions and I need to get my thoughts out somewhere.

Listen. I would like to clarify that I loved S2 and I loved S1, and I think S2 was VERY smart to parse down on supporting characters and keep it stuck to Crowley and Aziraphale for the most part.

I'm assuming that S2 was made with S3 in mind though, esp after this post from Neil Gaiman, bc lord I will cry if there's no S3.

The focus on the story of Job I am being super optimistic in hoping that maybe it's Gaiman punching us in the throat with S2 before offering us a nicer S3... regardless though, I loved the season despite my minor criticisms.

I... do not have anything against Beelzebub/Gabriel, but holy shit was that out of left field for the ending... I just feel that, despite Gabriel having memory loss (it doesn't seem to be COMPLETE since it was kinda touch and go during scenes), they should've sprinkled in some sort of foreshadowing the his relationship or fondness of Beelzebub.

Have him at least not try to decimate that fuckin fly with books, or take an interest in books on forbidden romance, or rebellion against authority, or maybe just flat out have him be interested in Crowley and Aziraphale's relationship, or Nina and Maggie's. Just SOMETHING to set it up a little bit...

EDIT:: while rewatching, I suppose they hinged most of their foreshadowing in Beelzebub's passiveness and interest in Gabriel, but it's a little hard to have a comparison given how little they were in S1

It was only after I skimmed the GO tag that I saw people were pissed about Aziraphale's choice in E6 and I'm kinda just like ??? It's not OOC though... He's always been loyal to Heaven, and the times when he's been questioning, the biggest issue, is that Crowley was an enabler. He kept Aziraphale from REALLY facing the consequences of these decisions because he's acted as a safety net in some of the situations they're put in.

I love the added scenes of the past with Crowley and Aziraphale, they're fuckin great and I like that it continues to expand upon their relationship and "temptations", but I do think it was kinda reiterating stuff we knew from S1... even if it was good fan service, for lack of a better word. I just kinda wish they had sprinkled in more reinforcements of Aziraphale's fealty to heaven. Or, perhaps during the scene when Azira is worried he's going to become a demon, he could take that time to ask Crowley on his feelings on being a demon, and perhaps if he regrets it, just to also set up for the finale desire of Aziraphale in turning Crowley back into an angel.

Regardless though, S3, assuming there is one, will be a big wake up call to Aziraphale when he's left on his own and also under a tighter leash by heaven, especially since Crowley is gone. Also, expanding on Crowley being a high rank when he was an angel made my fuckin night, I still stick to the headcanon that he was the Archangel Raphael, don't @ me

I do think that... some of the stuff that happened in S3 did feel a little like a response to fans as well, since I know Gaiman is on tumblr and Ik the fandom has been really vitriolic over the fact that Az and Crowley didn't kiss or anything in S1... tbh I didn't think it was that big of a deal cause love is shown in many different ways, and I admit I do like that they kissed in S2, but it did also feel uhhh kinda spontaneous.

Not a bad thing, just wasn't expecting it. I did replay the scene bc I'm an angsty bitch. But yeah, I'm like ehhh.

Also Nina and Maggie randomly coming at the end to like.. sit Crowley down and be like "erm youre stupid and in love" felt very weird in a way I can't quite describe, but also felt kinda undeserved. Esp cause Crowley was like "eh I guess". I think the more subtle off handed chat he had with Nina about Aziraphale being his partner was a more elegant way of setting that up, and having him reflect on that instead would've been better. But also tbf he and Azira were being bitches and indeed messing with Maggie and Nina.

I don't like the term of describing content as "fanfic"y because a lot of fanfiction is super well written, but I think S2 was very... fan service-y... rather.

Which tbh I don't mind that much, esp given Gaiman really didn't want an S2 to respect Pratchett's passing as his cowriter. So... meh. I did genuinely dislike the ball scene at the end though. Just... it was really weird, and I'm not sure what they were trying to say with it, other than Aziraphale is fucking demented... and tbh he should've known better since the fucker's been on earth for ages, idk. After talkin with a friend, it just was a really weird scene, and if anything was OOC for him, I think it was that bc his removal of free will, speech, and even actions, was fucking insane.

Also I don't think John Hamm is attractive, so I tbh was just confused for a lot of his scenes that had interactions or alluded to him...

I liked S2, I really did. It was campy, it was a lil sloppy, but it was fun, and it gave a lot more Crowley and Aziraphale being a bitchy little married couple before their fuckin messy ass divorce at the end.

ANYWAY... I really can't wait to see what happens, and I am PRAYING that there'll be an S3. Until then, I will happily sit in my puddle of tears

[oh-katsuki]

um um megumi and meet ugly/enemies tew lovers beloved cal?

AAALLLIIIII yessss ofc!!!! megumi is built for a meet ugly bc i think he's really like... weird and odd and awkward. idk like he's super pretty but i think he falls into the weirdo genre the same way todoroki does.

thank you for playing beloved <33333

cw: coworker!megumi, sfw, meet ugly, "enemies" to lovers, this is like... largely comedic, i don't write megumi often so i hope i did him some justice, also there are no real triggers for this enjoy &lt;;3

megumi is pretty... but not pretty enough to get away with whatever the fuck it is he has going on.

the first time you met him failed to live up to any expectations his looks might give you. megumi, on the outside, looks like a prince. his long eyelashes, his delicate but defined hands, the way he carries himself, the plush quality of his lips, all make him a notoriously handsome presence in the office. the women often find time to notice him and his habits, even going so far as to presume his personality.

you'll admit... you fell victim to this too. you, like all the other people who had never met him before, assumed that he was as nice as he was pretty, with an agreeable personality to match the agreeableness of his cool features. you were wrong. megumi, as a rule, is generally cold and off-putting.

you'll start at the beginning.

your first less-than-pleasant interaction with him took place working overtime. you'd been in the office since its doors opened at 8 in the morning and your work had bled well into 10 at night. the office was near silent, save the clicking of your fingers across the keyboard as you copied numbers from a document into a spreadsheet. basic stuff, but tedious and time-consuming.

"_____," megumi called your name. "this needs to be done too."

he tossed a folder of papers on your desk and you briefly gawked at it.

"by wh-" but megumi had already begun to step away, heading down the hallway and into the elevator.

you spent the rest of the evening finishing the paperwork and megumi had the nerve to look surprised when you told him the next morning that you'd completed the work that he set on your desk.

then, a week later, he'd passed on a stack of papers to you without saying anything but a brief here as he handed them to you. by the time you'd finished them, you'd fallen behind with your work for the day and had to work overtime once again.

this continued for approximately a month, that is, until you complained to your coworker maki, a tall woman with a brash personality, about your workload.

"what?" she said, furrowing her brows. "we have interns for that kinda thing, you know? they literally get paid to do it."

she laughed and you shook your head. "megumi's been giving me the paperwork for weeks now though."

"yeah, to read over and double-check. putting it in the system is the interns' job," she laughed. "he didn't tell you?"

now, after checking that maki was right, you're certain that megumi has it out for you and he is not nearly pretty enough for you to let him get away with it. this has been your life for the past month, stuck doing overtime on things he never bothered to clarify. he'd basically humiliated you for sport (false) and made a laughing stock of your budding career (also false).

still, you're holding your tongue. the next time he drops the papers on your desk, you check them over and then hand them off to the interns who take them as if they know exactly what to do. you're astonished, turning to megumi to see if he's noticed that you've caught onto his little ruse. if he did, you can't tell. his face remains irritatingly neutral.

it seems that, despite having never had a real conversation with him outside of awkward small talk in the break room or work related things, you have a nemesis in the office. you compete ruthlessly. he's your senior on the team and you are constantly trying to out perform him. megumi, irritatingly enough, takes it all in stride. you wish he would quit.

maki becomes your sole confidant, but she usually just stands by the water cooler and nods with along with you. she never has much to add, simply shrugging her shoulders whenever you ask her a question. you find this irritating because it seems that she knows your shared teammate, megumi, pretty well. after all, she's worked with him longer, though she's expressed no desire to conversate with him the way she does you.

whenever you pass by megumi in the halls, you give him a dirty look, furrowing your eyebrows and casting your lips down slightly. you let your irritation show plain on your face. soon enough, megumi is confronting you.

"hey," he calls, running to catch up with you as you leave the building.

you turn, startling and holding your purse close to your side. your lips pull down and you feel heat crowd your face as nerves for the impending confrontation grow.

"yes?" you ask, mustering up every ounce of your courage to sound strong.

megumi casts his eyes to the floor, long eyelashes hitting lightly under his eyebrow as he looks to his shoes and then up at you. his expression seems lightly irritated, like he's struggling to find the proper working for something, and the tips of his ears are pink with frustration.

"so," he starts, swallowing thick.

"what is it?" you play dumb. moves and counter-moves.

"do you want to go out for drinks?" he asks, tapping his foot against the floor. his face reads as irritated, but what he's just said shocks you so deeply that you feel like you can hear a record scratch.

"what?'

"i was just wondering if maybe you want to go get drinks... as a date?" he clarifies.

"like a... date date?" you ask, leaning forward a little. "as in a.. you like me... date?"

megumi gives a nervous laugh, his eyes crinkling a little. you realize that it is the first time you've seen him smile.

"yes," then, it falls and he clears his throat. "if you're not interested though, don't worry."

"i thought you hated me," you furrow your eyebrows.

megumi's gaze snaps up to yours. "what? no, i- it's the opposite."

"but the... the paperwork..." you say, losing steam as the mortification of your one-sided rivalry sets in.

"you mean the ones for the interns?"

"you never told me that it was for the interns!" you exclaim. "i was doing it myself for a month! i thought you did it on purpose."

he blinks at you. "that's insane," he says. "why would i do that? i always just thought you were a really meticulous worker."

"because you hate me," you say, covering your face with your hand. "and i'm definitely not meticulous. i like going home too."

megumi has remained sufficiently awkward through the conversation, his shoulders almost wound up to his ears with tension.

"i'm sorry," he says genuinely. "did i... misread this?" he asks. "i thought you liked me and i thought i uh... i thought i made it clear enough that i liked you."

"you never even spoke to me," you say, laughing a little. megumi's shoulders wind tighter.

"yes, i did," he points out. "i always say good morning."

"uh huh," you drone, rubbing your fingers against your temple.

you had been getting worked up on your own this entire time. all of the glances and the greetings and the trips past your desk had not been to taunt you, but rather because megumi wants to take you out. looking back on it, it was psychotic to have thought anything else.

"i take it you're not... uh... interested?" he asks softly.

"no," you say. "i am."

it sounds like you're conceding and megumi furrows his eyebrows.

"uh," he swallows and tilts his head, tufts of dark hair falling to one side of his face, "are you sure?"

"yeah, i'm definitely interested."

megumi stands for a second, shifting his weight from foot to foot.

"should we go then?" he points behind him in the direction of a row of izakayas.

you nod, swallowing down embarrassment and thinking about how on earth you're going to explain this to maki in the morning.

[mattsdae]

Matt Stone? Period sex? FUCK YES!! I’m so down for that idea!!!

the thing is, i feel like matt would be so nonchalant about periods that he doesn’t even make a big deal out of it? like as long as you’re fine with it, he’s down. if anything, i think he would actually like it bc he can slide in easier and with less preparation. plus i heard sex helps with cramps sooo

anyways here’s some content warnings

matt stone x fem reader , period sex obviously , matt is actually nice for once ??

“i’m on my period.”

he looked down at you, thinking for a moment. you hadn’t been dating matt for long and this was the first time he’s tried to have sex while you were on your period. it sucks, but you were fully aware of the fact that most men are grossed out by periods. it made you nervous telling him because matt’s such a nice guy, but him being weird around periods would definitely end the relationship.

“and?” he said, visibly confused. you adjusted yourself, leaning on your elbows as he pulled away, no longer pinning you to the bed.

“i just wanted to let you know. are you fine with that?” you asked, clinching the sheets as you said it. he rose an eyebrow.

“are you?” he responded. you nodded. “lemme get a towel real quick. you need to do anything or..?” he stood. you went to the bathroom, removing your tampon before getting back into his bed, which now had several towels laid down.

“isn’t this a little overkill?” you joke. he shrugged.

“i didn’t know what your flow is like so i just put a ton to be safe,” he said as he crawled back over. you played with the corner of one of the towels.

“why did you grab white towels?” you asked with a laugh. he shrugged and lifted your legs, wrapping them around him and lifting the shirt you stole from him.

“i’ll just buy more, babe. it’s not like i have red towels on hand,” he grumbled as he leaned down, kissing your neck. you giggled and squirmed under him. it wasn’t your first time having sex with him, but everything he did was still so new you didn’t know how to react.

“i’ve never done this before,” you mumble. he glances up at you, still confused.

“ever?” he clarifies. you nod. he leaned back, letting himself settle between your legs. his fingers slowly trailed down your chest and towards your stomach. “you want me to talk you through it?”

you nod again and smile. he slowly dipped his fingers between your folds. you shivered, finding yourself for sensitive than usual. he leaned down and kissed along your tummy. you sigh as he circled your clit.

“you know, i heard somewhere that sex can help with cramps,” he started. you laughed.

“that’s not true,” you say. he smiled up at you.

“seriously! i looked it up ‘cause i didn’t believe it either. says there’s some endorphins that release during sex that helps with pain,” he explained. as his fingers ran along your hole, never going more than a knuckle deep.

“are you saying that so i’ll have sex with you everytime i’m on my period?” you ask, barely holding back a moan from his touching. it was embarassing how well he knew you already. he wasn’t even fully touching you, but you still arched your back.

“why would i have to convince you? i’m sure you’ll enjoy it since you’re already writhing.” you blushed while he chuckled. he finally inserted two fingers, sighing himself as you moan. you grab at his triceps, shocked by how easily he fingered you. “see how easy this is? i’m sure you’ve gotten horny while on your period, right?”

“yeah,” you moan, rutting against his fingers as he curled them. you whimper at the obscene squelching noise. he didn’t mind, though, instead massaging your walls until you gasped.

“there we are. have you ever touched yourself during your period?” you shook your head. “well, you can be more sensitive, which makes everything ten times better and it helps with the sexual frustration,” he spoke smoothly. his tone was even as you fell apart under him. his voice almost punctuated every movement, a subconscious rhythm to it.

“matt, i think i’m gonna cum,” you whimper. he pulled his fingers out, causing you to whine. after wiping his fingers off on the towel, he undressed, tossing his boxers and shorts to the side. he gave himself a few tugs before lining up.

“i’m gonna slide in real easy, okay?” he said, quietly asking if you were sure. you nodded. it would be impossible to back out now, not with your orgasm being right there. you shut your eyes tight, covering your face as you felt the head against your pussy. as you took a deep breath, he pushed in. he stopped at the tip, letting you adjust. it did go in easily, which only made you beg for more.

“please, please, please,” you chanted, trying to grab onto his shoulder and pull him close. he chuckled above you, clearly enjoying your reactions to everything he was doing. he held still, circling your clit again.

“you gotta be patient, momma. don’t wanna hurt you,” he teased. you whimpered. he knew that was your favorite pet name, so using it only made you more desperate. that was his motive, of coarse, so he slowly thrusted inside, letting you feel every inch inside of you.

“matt, please,” you begged. “just, kiss me? please?”

his clean hand held you by the back of your head, pulling you close and planting his lips on yours. you moaned into his mouth as he finally bottomed out. he bit your bottom lip as you trembled, clinching around him.

“fuck, you feel so good. such a good girl, huh?” he huffed as he pulled out just as slow. you grabbed his cheeks, desperate for more. he chuckled against your lips, pulling away just enough that you weren’t touching anymore. he brushed a hair out of your face, enjoying your red cheeks and lips.

“i want you to fuck me, matt. please,” you begged again. you looked up at him with the best puppy dog eyes you could muster. he smiled and pinched your cheek.

“you don’t have to beg, baby. you’re doing so good,” he smiled before thrusting back in, still gentle and experimental. your arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him close. his smile pressed against your neck before kissing along your tensed muscles.

his hands ran along your sides before staying on your hips, holding you in place. he’s been rough before, but this wasn’t one of those times. he caressed you, causing shivers down your spine as his fingers just barely brushed over your skin.

“i’m close,” you whimper. he kept his pace, gripping your hips just a bit harder as his stuttered. he was close, too, but he held himself back. your nails dug into his shoulders, dragging down as you tried to pull him closer. he couldn’t get any closer, chest pressed against yours, but you still tried.

“go ahead, baby. you deserve it,” he hummed. your face scrunched up, pushing against his neck. you trembled, choking out a sob as you came. he moaned above you as you throbbed around him, arms tightening around his neck. “so good, honey. so good.”

you slowly relaxed, falling back onto the sheets as he pulled out and came on the towel under you, which was now soaked in cum and blood. he kissed your cheek before going to the bathroom, wiping himself off and returning with a wet towel for you.

“thank you.” it was quiet, but you spoke just loud enough for him to hear it. he laughed.

“why are you thanking me?” he asked with a grin.

“that was just.. really good.”

“well, thank you for trusting me enough to do that.”

[actualbird]

so true about Luke being the one to fall harder bc hes the sort of person who doesn’t realise it’s a date until WAY later. like marius could even be asking him about his valentines plans and luke would just not get the hint and then would realise WAY later and scream into his pillow (THIS IS BASED ON MY OWN EXPERIENCE AND EVEN NOW I FEEL LIKE A FOOL 3 YEARS LATER!!)

irt these mariluke tags i left on a post yesterday about "A fell first, B fell harder"

ANON, YOU GET ME!!! SHAKES UR HAND both on the front of agreeing with this dynamic and also ur personal experiences. like yeah same there were many experiences i did not notice i was being courted. oblivious idiots unite!!!

but EXACTLY LITERALLY KJHVJASHFA i feel like....even if marius hides his true feelings and largely suppresses his pining, he does do some Glaringly Obvious Things Like That to like test the waters

and itd be easy for him to deny it by playing it off as teasing or a joke

but he doesnt need to cuz luke just

Does Not Get It

marius, putting out his feelers to see if luke is maybe interested: hey, are you free on valentine's day?

luke, hasnt yet realized his feelings but theyre There but he doesnt Know What They Are Yet and only has one singular braincell when not working on a case: i think so, why?

marius, saddened by the immensely casual response and concludes that luke is not interested so now it is time for Operation Backpedal Via Over-The-Top Teasing Or Jokes: hehe, wanna make your single bachelor woes go away and hang out with me then? ;D

luke, just way too easy to fluster: w-what! dont mess with me, man, maybe i do have plans now actually >:/

the rest of the nxx team: //RESTRAINING THEMSELVES FROM MAKING A BIG SIGN THAT SAYS "LUKE, THAT WAS MARIUS ASKING YOU ON A DATE!!!!"

luke will realize that was marius asking him out on a date like way wayyyyyyy later. probably once theyre already together actually, and luke stands there with an expression of horror while marius laughs his ass off

luke: AND YOU JUST LET ME BE AN IDIOT LIKE THAT??? U DIDNT WANNA, I DUNNO, CLARIFY???????

marius: hey dont blame me, that hint was the size of a brick and you didnt notice it! it was very straight-passing of you

luke: //head in hands

in conclusion: mariluke in their pining stage goes a lil smthng like this in my head

silly guys

[mariautistic]

can you talk more abt why you didnt like the csm anime? i also wasnt a huge fan & just generally enjoy what you have to say about media

Kind of bedridden currently so I'll try to answer. Also ty <3 but yeah I think the main issue I had is that they tried to make it some artsy indie movie style thing and the pace ended up being super slow paced and chill, which is very much the opposite of what makes CSM manga so engaging. Like, not only is the fast pace really efficient and doesn't stop for no reason (making the slow, relaxed moments feel a lot more stressful) but it does a lot of the legwork of making CSM both a very exciting shounen while putting you in Denji's shoes, thrown around from one situation to the next with little to no breathing room in between.

The overproduction and crazy budget played way against it, the thing is they didn't really need 13 endings or whatever, they just had money to throw things against the wall, hoping one would stick. The fighting scenes didn't necessarily have bad choreography and were pretty well animated I think, but again I feel none of it really fit what the manga was doing (which this one is a little more subjective bc i don't know much about fights in media and it's like the one thing I'll pay little attention to despite how many shounen I've consumed in my life). One example that comes to mind is when Denji is fighting the eternity devil, they play it very seriously and all and not really indulge in how like. Silly the situation is. Or how cool and fun it is to see a guy made of chainsaws cut a guy up until he kills himself.

I've already voiced my issues with himeno in the anime but I think I should clarify that, while in the manga it's not very overt (which is very funny in the In Your Face manga that is constantly in your face about everything) the manga is like. Aware himeno is a bad person and characterizes her as such (with both her faking relief she didn't fuck Denji and getting aki back to the devil hunters to avenge her/generally dragging him back into his revenge spiral because she wanted someone to cry for her), the anime genuinely is Really into her like Really into her. It's upsetting how much the people working on the anime gave her so much focus, specially trying to make something sexy out of the scene where she tries to fuck denji while drunk and extending what is like one or two chapters in the manga into almost the entire episode.

Overall I think the problem is they went for a very different tone that the manga did without really understanding what made the manga so popular and it inevitably flopped. Did you know chainsaw man has jokes. Well the anime people definitely didn't

[crimeronan]

wait why do u want to be the problematic mutual

it's an authenticity thing i think. i'm famously opinionated about a lot of bullshit that does not matter plus a smaller amount of bullshit that DOES matter and if people think i'm the type to engage in reactionary shit, it means i haven't been open enough about who i am.

it's kind of like how the average queer person wouldn't really like it if a republican told them that queer people are corrupting The Children, and expected that queer person to agree, bc they don't look queer enough for the republican to hold their tongue.

i'm a former sex worker with strong opinions about sex work. i'm a horror writer whose horror writing often involves sexual abuse, sometimes sexual abuse of kids. i believe you don't need to have an excuse or to be seeking catharsis to read dark fiction, even tho my own dark fiction is very obviously based on stuff that happened to me as a kid. i like ao3 and think their policies are sensible despite disliking some of the work posted there. i appropriately tag my own work so that people can blacklist things they don't like. i talk a lot about how complicated abuse and abusive relationships are. i'm a big advocate of people doing whatever the fuck they want forever. i want there to be kink at pride. i have multiple partners, i'm polyamorous, i have a queerplatonic relationship that i treat the same as my romantic ones. i'm queer and engage in fiction in a way that's very upsetting to online cops and it makes me a little sad if people don't know that.

i don't go out of my way to cause drama because i don't like it, i'd rather people just listened to what i think and feel and went, "yeah, that's fair and reasonable! thanks for putting it like this, it clarifies things 💕"

but i feel like the kind of person who sends reactionary anons to an entire circle of mutuals should be able to tell i...... won't ever be into it, you know??

[quillyfied]

Things I’m noticing on this rewatch, which I’m hoping to take slow and ponder on but we will see how it goes, PART FIVE (obviously major Good Omens season 2 spoilers throughout, specifically for S2E5)

- Okay. Shax’s belt buckle certainly looks very snakelike, but her mannerisms are almost more lizard like to me? Very abrupt jerky movements. Straight lines.

- Okay but this whole discussion with Furfur is both hilarious and makes me wonder about the actual climate of heaven and hell post-Apocanope. Bc the idea that the actual legions of hell and hosts of heaven aren’t actually interested in fighting…yeah, seems supported by the text, actually.

- “Can I watch?” Always

- Alright the immediate way that Aziraphale is prepared to give away rare parts of his collection in order to get everyone there…unsettling? Surprising? Another drop in the bucket of suspense??

- Alright but the fact that he’s actually bothered by it is making me feel Some Kind of Way actually. Something something appears that he’s lost interest or is prepared to sacrifice his material comforts for The Greater Good, in actuality is doing his duty as a protector and guardian even if it hurts him. Don’t mind me, just need to lie down on the floor for a moment.

- Shax’s continued troubles with securing her demon army also continues to make me wonder what Beelzebub themself is playing at. If even Satan himself can’t command 10,000 killer demons into being, and would have to settle for about 70 creepy and unease-radiating layabouts…wtf??

- Unless Furfur is messing with her. For not backing him up in 1941. Entirely possible.

- FEZ. EVEN I KNOW THATS A DOCTOR WHO REFERENCE.

- Also Crowley’s goofing around with the crystal ball. Just want to bask in pure delightful silliness for a moment.

- Alright, back to Shax, who has a whole leather battle outfit? Certainly scary but all I can think is “did it take her an hour to squeeze into it?”

- Eric! Beloved Eric! And the manifold unfortunate ways his superiors dispose of him. Feels familiar and comfy, actually.

- Shax not knowing what she’s doing and being bad at winging it, Example 664

- Aziraphale persisting in French despite Justine really getting fed up with it: second clue that Aziraphale is putting this “night to remember” under more pressure than initially anticipated.

- Eric clarifying that they don’t really want to be fighting angels: lending more credence to my theory that The Big One/the Second Coming is going to fall apart due to out of touch management tbh

- I have deep curiosity about what the Christmas lights debacle is all about

- Nina! DRAG HIM.

- THE SHEER OUTRAGE OF AZIRAPHALE BEING CROWLEY’S BIT ON THE SIDE.

- Other people’s love lives always seem so much more straightforward than our own. Coupled with melancholy romantic music. And a frankly heartbreaking expression on Nina’s face. I’m so sad for her. I’m equally sad for Crowley tbh.

- Lots of use of lightning this season. Noticing that Shax’s is dual blue and red…have to go back and see what color Crowley’s is.

- Shax’s shoulder pads remind me of a dragon or a lizard too tbh

- Something too about the opening that I can’t seem to articulate clearly but strikes me: when the bridge between the two planets breaks apart after Crowley and Aziraphale’s little dance back and forth (still on the wrong sides btw), the bridge reforms after a few seconds, but sideways. And one of the bridge halves is an entirely different bridge. Foreshadowing?

- This episode’s theater feature: The Ball, by Jane Austen. With the onscreen picture being, I believe, a couple of the demons?

- Can I just say—adore the pretty rose in Crowley’s shot. Also paused at the exact right moment to catch Aziraphale’s amused and fond expression while Crowley tries to express a real concern. Love that he cares, wish he would listen.

- The complexities of being in a toxic relationship. Even knowing you’re well shot of them, the ways they break you down don’t really leave. Nina is a mirror for Aziraphale.

- I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I do truly think that Crowley spilling the beans here will have consequences in the future.

- Crowley’s rage and hurt tho. Thank you for that, David Tennant, we have been blessed beyond measure.

- Shoutout to the person in the notes of my post about the second episode who said the little hissing chime happens whenever Crowley takes off his shades in an important moment, bc I caught it this time!

- The way Jim is so childlike in his un-Gabriel state makes me wonder if angels in their natural state are just Like That—joyful, trusting, full of genuine love and care. We see it in angel Crowley, we see it in early days Aziraphale, we see it in Jim, we see it in Muriel. Which makes the Fall feel all the more harrowing in concept. If any of the angels who Fell truly understood WHY they fell, just that they were loathsome in some way and deserved what they got.

- Crowley pulling back from causing actual harm because despite his very good and logical reasonings for not wanting Gabriel there…he’s still himself. Gabriel in his right mind would be one thing. This is Jim. He’s something else entirely right now.

- The understanding of the empty house metaphor though. Breaking my heart here.

- “Where is your memory, then?” Brings to mind immediately another John Finnemore quote: “you see, that’s a very stupid question that you just happen to have gotten lucky with.” And THE MATCHBOX! Aha! The plot continues to thicken!

- OH. I missed that the “institutional problem” line was something Crowley got to hear first before going to heaven was even on the table.

- I’m sorry Jim’s adorable little nod, GET THE MAN SOME HOT CHOCCY THEN

- Okay okay—the way Michael instantly dismisses Muriel’s assessment that Crowley fed them about love and humans being weird—brings to mind the meta I cannot find now of angels post-fall just. Not asking questions. Not questioning anything at all. Even taking credit for knowing things that are blatantly incorrect. They are just as broken as the demons tbh.

- I wonder at Michael’s slow glance to the side at Uriel’s insistence on labeling Aziraphale a traitor every time. Michael not liking Uriel stepping on their toes as acting supreme archangel?

- Muriel’s subtle little eyeliner. Love it.

- Also how they know a super powerful miracle occurred at the bookshop, how everyone seems to know or suspect that’s where Gabriel is, and YET. Jimbriel hides in plain sight anyway. Because a miracle that powerful is affecting even the archangels. Also interesting to note that they know a miracle occurred but they don’t know why. I know this is known but somehow I’m just now connecting the dots fully. They can track miraculous power. They can’t know the reason until the angel who did the miracle reports. What an elegant loophole to exploit for thousands of years.

- Nobody would believe you anyway XD

- WAIT AND SEE. I cannot believe Neil wrote that in after tormenting tumblr with it for months. I have such irreversible fondness for that phrase now.

- The soundtrack being so pretty ;A;

- Also, I know it’s actually not great the way Aziraphale’s ball moves forward in stealing away free will to a degree, but moment of quiet glee for how he gussies up everyone entering the shop, too

- MRS SANDWICH. I will be committing it to memory.

- “Everything else was taken” Nina what does that MEAN

- Okay the creepy fog and Crowley’s insistence that something is wrong—we are starting on the topsy turvy carousel of the night! Stuff is getting Weird!!

- Shoutout to the magic shop owner’s spouse! A lovely color on them indeed!

- How is it that Justine is reduced to stereotypical Frenchwoman? Aziraphale. Good grief.

- Also, Aziraphale: why is Gabriel dressed like Elton John?

- Aziraphale. Aziraphale you are sounding like the guy in Sense and Sensibility who keeps trying to push the Dashwoods into dancing and enjoying themselves when they’re emotionally distraught.

- Interesting how Maggie doesn’t notice the demons at all. Or Crowley shouting at them from across the street.

- Wondering how in touch Crowley is with hell to know that these are low ranking demons and if Shax is fully aware that Furfur likely screwed her over big time.

- The warm reddish interior at odds with the eerie greenish exterior. Love that framing.

- Mrs. Sandwich finding the best and most erotic way of getting around the language block Aziraphale has put in place now (SERIOUSLY, ANGEL), deffo a highlight of the second season for me. What a delightful little scene. With horrific implications re:Aziraphale’s unwillingness to break his own fantasy of helping to realize the actual danger he’s put them all in until it’s too late.

- Tiny miracle chime when Nina grabs Maggie’s hand

- Nina and Maggie not being entirely taken in by the atmosphere Aziraphale set. Intentional? Incidental?

- I can’t hear that wet slapping noise without thinking about Monty Python.

- Aziraphale and Crowley? Failing to communicate whilst danger draws near? NAAAHHH

- (I remember reading someone’s very innocent “I hope they dance this season!” pre-s2 prediction and having the reaction of “nice thought but there’s no way. Save it for fandom.” AND HERE I AM. WITH THE EGG ON MY FACE. FRIED BY THE WATTAGE OF MICHAEL SHEEN’S SMILE.)

- Okay but the way Crowley lets himself be led out though too

- SHAX TOOK THE ELEVATOR WHILE EVERYONE ELSE TOOK THE STAIRS. I DID NOT CATCH THAT AT FIRST EITHER.

- “I’m not afraid of hard work.” MAGGIE. DELIGHTFUL PRETTY EARNEST MAGGIE.

- “I think you’re overestimating how much trouble we’re actually in.” NOPE.

- Aziraphale, in trying to help solve the tangle he’s in, has just created the perfect storm of harm for all involved. France in a frilly frock coat all over again. Only worse.

- Jim being willing to go tho TT_TT

- “You came to me. I said I would protect you. And I will.” HES. A. GUARDIAN. I. AM. CRYING.

- The fact that Shax sends Jimbriel back inside instead of trying to rip him apart is so funny. As is her attempt to spell toast XD apologies. Toste. (Throwback to Hastur and Ligur joking about toasting Crowley. Such fond memories.)

- Crowley throwing around rules he’s made up: the exact thing he would do and I’ve been deeply hoping he would do one day

- “I won’t leave you on your own.” “I know” WEEPING

- I was going to make a comment about the freaked out faces of Crowley and Aziraphale as Mr. Brown is quite possibly eaten or maimed, but I just found out one of the demons is named Skittles and I have to be joyful about that first.

- The miracles not working on Nina and Maggie!! WHY??

- “We aren’t leaving you on your own.” Maggie is brave and cares about her friends. Maggie is a mirror for Crowley.

- “But rescuing me makes him so happy” CANON. DECLARED. TEXT AND NOT JUST SUBTEXT.

- Crowley going James Bond with Muriel. ADORING IT

- The convo about tricking?? And then CROWLEY being the one to order the doors closed?? PARALLELS.

Okay. One episode left. Not many brain cells remaining. Time to grab a snack and buckle in, bc it’s about time to watch my heart get ripped out a second time.

[my-castles-crumbling]

hello hello,

sorry bc this is a bit long and I got a bit carried away

But basically all my life i thought my home life was super great but looking back on it, it was nice but some slightly (only slightly) questionable stuff [I want to clarify that it’s nothing physical but some of it was a little bit fucked up like I have one stand out memory but also I may have made it up bc idk sometimes I’m super sure it happened and sometimes I’m not] went down and now i notice more and more my parents making sexist/homophobic/transphobic jokes and offhand comments and then getting annoyed and yelling at me whenever I try and tell them they’re wrong. I also sort of noticed that they’re a bit too pushy and invasive of my privacy [especially my mother who loves to offload her problems onto me and has since I was pretty small and would just barge into my room at any time and tell me about them and I understand communication is important in families but I don’t think 9 is a good age for your mother to regularly be crying to you about how suicidal she feels but she always acted like it was a good thing so I assumed it was too idk] and it’s like half the time they treat me like I’m way younger than I am [late teen] and the other half of the time it’s like they expect me to be a mature adult and like I just want to be my actual age yk but I can’t and tbh I don’t even know how to go about doing that now bc I feel like I’ve sort of been stifled and the thing is I’m not sure how I should actually be feeling about the whole thing because I don’t think they’re actually really bad people [my parents] and I end up feeling guilty about the fact that I just don’t want to talk to them anymore [especially my mum] and like ik people who have way worse home lives than me and I feel like it’s being a bit selfish to complain bc sure they make problematic jokes but I don’t think they’d necessarily treat me worse if I came out [non-binary and pan] but also I don’t think they’d be that great about it like my brother came out as bi and they were like ok but then one time when he was away they were talking about ‘if he gets a girlfriend’ and I said ‘or a boyfriend bc he’s bi’ and they were like ‘yeah he’s bi but he’s only ever really shown interest in girls so we doubt he’s actually bi but I mean if he got a boyfriend we’d be fine with it’ and I was like on the one hand like it could be worse but it still didn’t sit right with me that they just casually assumed he was lying about it even tho he’d literally come out…

also I sort of don’t even want to come out atp to them I just want to sort of quietly cut ties or distance myself

so I sort of tried to do that [as much as I can yk being still a minor and living at home] but now I’ve got my mum not so subtly idk tryna guilt trip me. Like she’ll say shit about how I used to talk to her and now I never do and like there’s a fucking reason [I now actually have friends who I realised I feel way more comfortable around] but ok

Like a while back she came to my room and tried to do the usual complaining thing about how she’s v depressed and all and I tried to respectfully tell her she needs therapy and she got super upset with me and started crying and stormed out my room and then she came back later and tried again and I told her like as nicely as I could that I can’t handle this bc I am just a kid yk as nice as possible I cannot handle my shit let alone yours like my mental health is not great rn and like I want to be there for the ppl in my life not feeling good but also like she’s been doing this since I was pretty small and there’s literally no way I can really support her except spending more time with her maybe but then that’s bad for my mental health especially bc she’ll do offhand shit that she knows I don’t like [like I have sensory issues bc I’m neurodivergent and having a hand put on my shoulder for some reason I just ugh it’s the worst - and ever since she noticed that I would pull away she’s started doing it more and every time I pull away she makes jokes about how she must have ‘a disease or something’ and just UGH sorry it infuriates me]

so basically [sorry for the suuuper long ask] I’m not sure what the right thing to do is, like do I try and remedy the relationship with my parents [but especially my mum] or do I just sort of keep going like this till I’m at uni or what?

again sorry this is way too long

Hi love! First of all, I wanna give a TW to people reading:

TW: mentions of suicidal thoughts

Okay, I'm gonna take this one section at a time:

But basically all my life i thought my home life was super great but looking back on it, it was nice but some slightly (only slightly) questionable stuff [I want to clarify that it’s nothing physical but some of it was a little bit fucked up like I have one stand out memory but also I may have made it up bc idk sometimes I’m super sure it happened and sometimes I’m not]

Okay chances are you're not making it up. Thinking you're making it up is a super common symptom of guilt trips and gaslighting. If you think it happened...it probably did.

went down and now i notice more and more my parents making sexist/homophobic/transphobic jokes and offhand comments and then getting annoyed and yelling at me whenever I try and tell them they’re wrong.

This is NOT okay of them. They're being disrespectful.

I also sort of noticed that they’re a bit too pushy and invasive of my privacy [especially my mother who loves to offload her problems onto me and has since I was pretty small and would just barge into my room at any time and tell me about them and I understand communication is important in families but I don’t think 9 is a good age for your mother to regularly be crying to you about how suicidal she feels but she always acted like it was a good thing so I assumed it was too idk]

Uhm hi hello hi. NO. No no no. This is NOT okay. Parents do NOT tell their children about their suicidal feelings. Absolutely not. This is a classic example of parentification. You, even as a teenager, are the CHILD. You are NOT responsible for your parents, and you should not feel any sort of pressure to help with their wellbeing. Nope.

and it’s like half the time they treat me like I’m way younger than I am [late teen] and the other half of the time it’s like they expect me to be a mature adult and like I just want to be my actual age yk but I can’t and tbh I don’t even know how to go about doing that now bc I feel like I’ve sort of been stifled and the thing is I’m not sure how I should actually be feeling about the whole thing

yup. parentification. You've been expected to take on the role of a parent when convenient and act like a child when convenient. this is not okay and you're absolutely right to feel weird and bad and resentful about it.

because I don’t think they’re actually really bad people [my parents]

And here's the thing: that can also be true. A lot of times, parents can both love you/be good people AND unintentionally be hurtful. But in a way, that can be even more difficult because like...how do you explain to someone who thinks they're not being hurtful that they ARE?

and I end up feeling guilty about the fact that I just don’t want to talk to them anymore [especially my mum] and like ik people who have way worse home lives than me and I feel like it’s being a bit selfish to complain bc sure they make problematic jokes but I don’t think they’d necessarily treat me worse if I came out [non-binary and pan] but also I don’t think they’d be that great about it like my brother came out as bi and they were like ok but then one time when he was away they were talking about ‘if he gets a girlfriend’ and I said ‘or a boyfriend bc he’s bi’ and they were like ‘yeah he’s bi but he’s only ever really shown interest in girls so we doubt he’s actually bi but I mean if he got a boyfriend we’d be fine with it’ and I was like on the one hand like it could be worse but it still didn’t sit right with me that they just casually assumed he was lying about it even tho he’d literally come out… also I sort of don’t even want to come out atp to them I just want to sort of quietly cut ties or distance myself so I sort of tried to do that [as much as I can yk being still a minor and living at home] but now I’ve got my mum not so subtly idk tryna guilt trip me. Like she’ll say shit about how I used to talk to her and now I never do and like there’s a fucking reason [I now actually have friends who I realised I feel way more comfortable around] but ok Like a while back she came to my room and tried to do the usual complaining thing about how she’s v depressed and all and I tried to respectfully tell her she needs therapy and she got super upset with me and started crying and stormed out my room and then she came back later and tried again and I told her like as nicely as I could that I can’t handle this bc I am just a kid yk as nice as possible I cannot handle my shit let alone yours like my mental health is not great rn and like I want to be there for the ppl in my life not feeling good but also like she’s been doing this since I was pretty small and there’s literally no way I can really support her except spending more time with her maybe but then that’s bad for my mental health especially bc she’ll do offhand shit that she knows I don’t like [like I have sensory issues bc I’m neurodivergent and having a hand put on my shoulder for some reason I just ugh it’s the worst - and ever since she noticed that I would pull away she’s started doing it more and every time I pull away she makes jokes about how she must have ‘a disease or something’ and just UGH sorry it infuriates me]

This is what I'm saying: it's super difficult to convince someone they're being hurtful when they truly think they aren't. Trust me, my mother is the same way. But you aren't wrong for wanting to distance yourself. Also, don't compare yourself to other people. You have a DIFFERENT home life, not necessarily a better or worse one.

so basically [sorry for the suuuper long ask] I’m not sure what the right thing to do is, like do I try and remedy the relationship with my parents [but especially my mum] or do I just sort of keep going like this till I’m at uni or what? again sorry this is way too long

Don't be sorry! I guess the first thing I'd say is, all of your feelings are valid, and this sounds super difficult. I'm sorry you have to go through it <3. Here's the thing: You are right. There are some things going on in your house that aren't okay. But the reality is, your mom doesn't seem to be willing to hear your opinion about changing them. SO, where do you go from here?

I think the two major things I've had to learn with my (very similar) mother is:

Set boundaries and stick to them. If she's dumping on you and you can't handle it, tell her it's not okay. Keep politely telling her this. There is NOTHING WRONG with doing this, even if she tells you otherwise.

Take what you can get, but don't get your hopes up. Does she want to take you out to lunch? Great. She wants to hang out after school? Awesome. But don't...rely on her to be more than she is.

If you're able to do these two things in a healthy way, this might be your best bet until you turn of age and you're able to reevaluate if you want a long-term relationship or not. But honestly, if you're financially dependent on her, separating from her completely might not be the best idea if you are safe.

The ONLY thing that makes me nervous about this whole situation is your mention of your mom's suicidal thoughts, so I'll leave you with this:

if your mom is scaring you with the way she is talking, call the authorities. You are a minor, and you should NEVER have to deal with that on your own.

No matter what happens, no matter WHAT your mom does, no matter what you do or don't say/do or don't do, your mother's decisions are her own. Nothing she does is your fault.

If you feel comfortable, please DM me! I'm being genuine when I say our moms sound similar, and I would love to talk more <3

P.s. I just want to say that, you are SO smart, as a teenager, to realize that this behavior is not okay. Good for you <3

[thedreadvampy]

Also speaking of 2012 Tumblr censorship Discourse I feel a desire to clarify this stuff about the need for discomforting language is Unambiguously Not About Slurs

and if you think those come under the same discussion of discomforting words then I invite you to think about who coins words and for what purpose

Discomforting words like "rape" and "death" are words used to describe the discomfort which comes from an experience

Slurs are words used to create discomfort in or about a person's identity

There's some muddy area around self-identifiers for marginalised/stigmatised groups - ie some self-identifiers are reclamations of slurs (queer, dyke), and as well, when people are conditioned to be discomforted by a group of people, any word which describes those people can be both used as a slur and treated as discomforting language (gay, lesbian) - because the insult and the discomfort is the comparison to a stigmatised group

and I think the reason this is important is partially that the response to that language should be different

I very much believe it's important to use specific, meaningful language over comfortable euphemism when we're talking about discomforting topics. And although I hate that we're this in hock to advertising algorithms, I would much rather someone talk about a discomforting topic using specific but censored language (eg r4p3, that thing YouTubers do where they say "when I say 'hamburger' I mean" ["rape"]. I don't like SA in this context but that's only bc sexual assault is much less specific than rape). It's imperfect, but it retains the weight of the issue much more fully than talking around it or avoiding talking about it. Tbh in circumstances of external censorship, I don't mind unalive or sewerslide or le dollar bean or whatever - it's a way to continue talking about the thing you want to talk about. It's when you carry it on out of circumstances that necessitate it, or begin to believe that you're avoiding the original words because they're Ontologically Evil, that it becomes a problem.

Slurs, on the other hand, are words designed as weapons, so in that case yeah it is appropriate to use euphemism or talk about them indirectly. It used to drive me nuts on Ye Olde Tumblr where people would use slurs in casual speech but put a star in there (hard to give examples bc I'm very uncomfortable Doing It but along the lines of "you're acting like a r*tard") as if that was what denatured a slur. And my position then, as now, was that (other than in reported speech, which is where that asterisk-censor might be appropriate) you either think the word's a slur, in which case don't use it, or you don't, in which case why are you censoring it?

Again, there's grey areas. Simplified: slurs are words which draw power from marginalised groups; to the degree that self-identifiers are Discomforting Words, it's because they draw power to marginalised groups by naming their experiences. Obviously things get muddy when different people use the same word differently.

To use the classic example: is queer a slur? yes. is queer a self-identifier for a community which power would prefer to invisibilise? also yes.

there's some personal discernment to use there on how it's appropriate, therefore, to approach this word. Should it be embraced, and censored only under sufferance, because it describes an experience which is valuable to have the language for, which may be discomforting to some but is a part of people's lives experience? Or should it be avoided and referred to only obliquely, because it's a slur? Which outweighs the other? Am I discomforted by the word, or by what it describes? By avoiding speaking it, am I avoiding speaking the word or avoiding speaking about what it describes? Who does it serve to say the word? Who does it serve to avoid it?

obviously by the fact I said "queer," my opinion is clear. but there are words about which there are similar debates that I wouldn't use because I land on 'I'm avoiding the word not the concept' - the n-word would be the most obvious example. I'm not saying the n-word because I have other, non-derogatory ways to refer to Black people, and because it isn't a word that the people it refers to would generally use to self-describe.

but yeah like there's words which inspire discomfort because they describe a discomforting thing. and if you wanna talk about the discomforting thing you have to be willing to be discomforted.

then there's words which create discomfort in their own right. slurs, insults, expletives, etc. Censoring those words isn't censoring the thing they describe, it's censoring the Words Themselves

I think it's an important thing to discern is all

[charlesdesvoeux]

! thinking about your cfdv headcanon post, wanted to ask: what was the main thing that stanley and des voeux would argue about/have horrible fights about? like, im imagining petty shit on top, but maybe a deeper underlying issue(s)? hope you have a lovely day :0

hi!!! I think charles would to some extent get off on pissing off stanley, bc he loves it when he's mean lol, so I think he would at times be quite bratty and aggravating just to get a reaction out of stephen, break through his stoic facade.

(this got too long so I'm putting the rest under the cut)

but at the same time i think he is quite insecure bc deep down he does actually have feelings for stanley; it might have begun as an intense crush/sexual attraction but i think he did eventually come to love stanley in his own extremely deranged and unhealthy way. and 1) he's hurt bc he doesn't know if stanley sees him only as a fuckdoll to be used and thrown aside or if he does see him as an actual human being and therefore has feelings for him too and 2) he gets mad at what he sees as stanley's hypocrisy. bc I think stanley likes to act "i'm better than you. i keep my urges under control. i'm not a disgusting little gremlin like you" meanwhile charlie is like "well I was the one who pursued you first but you're the one who agreed to it. it takes 2 to tangle. i've seen you climax. i've swallowed your cum. i've had it running down my legs. i'm not the only one getting off here, you're getting off too, and that means you're probably just as fucked up as I am". and of course in this regard he is right. and stanley knows he is right and he hates it.

i think they broke up and got back together quite a few times. probably when the arguments went further than just charlie aggravating stanley and drifted into discussions of real feelings/"have you considered that i'm actually a human being and not just a cum dump" which got stanley to tell charlie to fuck off if he's not happy with the arrangement. and he would fuck off but then just a little while later he came crawling back, humiliated and hurt, but still desperate for stanley.

and then. one day. charlie is the one who tells stanley to fuck off and starts ignoring him and stephen freaks the fuck out. charlie won't budge and then stanley is the one who has to come back, apologizes in a very oblique way and through gritted teeth kinda-sorta-maybe admits that yeah he does need charlie. what for? he doesn't say. doesn't clarify if it's an emotional need or just a sex need. (it's both it's obviously both). but charlie is really impressed by the fact that stanley admitted to needing/wanting him at all so he takes him back.

by the time of carnivale they were broken up again, and i think it was charlie who told him to fuck off, imagining once again that they would probably pick things back up in a little while. but stanley's psyche was quite fragile for many reasons (their stormy relationship also probably put a strain on him psychologically) and so he also did all that. so yeah.

(i think it was @caleblandrybones who once said that we think des voeux is the crazier one out of the two of them but truth is stanley threatens to kill himself every time charlie leaves. this was all just a convoluted way of saying that. IN SUMMARY: they matched each other's freaks <333)