#network ruined you for life). I like him a lot more in now you see me. this movie is so GOOD. this game is gonna make me cry. time to

[godblooded]

watching vivarium with @tlacehualli while i play faith the unholy trinity and probably end up picking up john…

[the-witch-of-one-piece]

Secrets Kept From Him 18+ Chapter 7: Threats Ran x F!reader x Draken WC:7k Resident: @enchantedforest-network Synopsis: Ran feeling the rage of knowing what you did with Draken. He was so consumed with his thoughts he began to think about the past. The confrontation between Draken and Ran, threats would be known but would Draken really stray away? The confrontation between Ran and you would lead his daughter to know who he is. It wouldn't be the only complication that would lead you to the club to confront Ran with serious news. Fearing for you and your daughter's life it would be in Ran's hands. Seeing the woman who was on the other line and feeling conflicted with Ran. Everything happening makes you feel overwhelmed with everything. Tw: Threats, strong language (swearing, guns, and death), anger, anxiety, hickeys, kissings, flashbacks, passing out, break-in, stalking, arguing, possessive behavior from Ran, paranoia (unedited)

Draken had the towel around his waist as he went to his dresser pulling out a shirt for you to wear. As you slid the shirt it was overly too big for you yet he enjoyed the sight of you in his clothing. Draken went into the bathroom to grab something else. You reached for your phone that was in your purse. Seeing a voicemail along with a few messages.  Listening to the voicemail as you walk into the living room. ‘What the hell...’  he was at your home that late. The voicemail was left about 2 hours ago.  When you pulled up the test message from him. ‘You with him aren’t you. Is my daughter with you both?.’

Knowing if you called him right now it would be an issue and you didn’t want to drag Draken into this being so late at night already.When Draken came out of the bathroom he saw you walking back into the room. “Everything alright?” he asked. 

“Yeah, I was gonna check on d/n but I realized it was already late. They are already asleep.”  Both of you laid in bed flicking the light off. He pulled you close to his chest, the side of your face. You could hear the steadiness of his heartbeat. Draken may have had a hunch something else was bothering you but you wouldn’t tell him. He could sense it could have been  because of Ran, but he  didn’t want to ruin this moment with you. His fingers work through your damp hair massaging your scalp. “I hope you enjoyed tonight.” Closing your eyes enjoying his fingers rubbing your scalp “I did, it's been so long since I’ve been on a date.” “I hope you don’t mind  going on more with me.” 

“I like the sound of that… You don’t mind going out with a single mom at all?” asking him. Hearing the mixture of pros and cons dating a single mom from other people and what they experienced.  

“It doesn’t bother me you being a mom ________. Some people may be bothered but I'm not one of them… D/n is your first priority. You're a mom first.”  She was your first priority, making sure she was safe and happy. 

~~~~~~~~~

Rindou watched his brother's foot tap on the floor as he sat down on the sofa. Ran looked around the club trying to avoid his thoughts of you being with Draken right now. It was becoming more evident to him when he thought about the conversation you both had. The way your body language spoke more than your words. “I know they slept together. The way she was acting when we talked she never acted this way with me. I’m losing her…” “Not if you get rid of the problem.”  Rindou leaning back on the couch. 

“Getting rid of him would solve a lot of issues…He still works at the shop right?”  Ran asked. His brother nodded  “I think I will pay him a visit after the meeting tomorrow. Obviously I need to make the message more clear to him about staying away from ________ and d/n.”

Ran felt his phone ringing, wondering if you were finally calling him back. Maybe a part of him wanted it to be you and it was you asking him for help if you got stranded somewhere or were anywhere else other than with Draken. Seeing the caller ID he closed his eyes for a brief moment. His stress level was high thinking he may need to release it. “Hello Ms. Yamaguchi…I could be better, have you ever got the feeling you wanna bash someone’s head in to relieve some stress??…really now… you don't say… what else now? Give me 20 mins I will be there.” he hung up his phone. At this point he needed something else to distract him even if it meant fucking someone to get the tension off of him. Using her body was just something temporary. 

Ran was making his way to her place when his mind began to wander to the day you left. That day since you came back repeated in his mind  more often than he wanted it. Just like a fresh wound that dishenced he replayed in his mind. 

~~~~~~~

“I will be back later on...” He cradles your cheeks with his hands. One of his hands bandaged up from an incident last night. He noticed you had a weary smile with his words. “You alright doll?” He asked

“I’m fine, just a little tired…I might just lay down and get some sleep.” You assured him. 

“Call me if you need me to come home okay?”

“Ran I’m fine” you softly chuckled.

“I love you” he kissed your forehead. 

“I love you too. Ran… please be careful? For me?”  

“Of course, aren’t I always?” he gave a small smile “Ran, I'm serious. Just these injuries could have been a lot worse than this.” “___________, please don’t worry about me. I know you worry but I can handle what I take on.” Ran reassured you many times like he has before in the past. “I will always come back to you.” He gave you a kiss on your lips before he left.

 Later in the night when Ran got home, the place was completely dark. You would often wait for him. Thinking you may have been asleep. Walking into the bedroom his eyes adjusting to the darkness to see the bed was untouched. “Where did she go?” flicking the lights on in the entire home he couldn’t find you. When he called you on the phone hoping you would pick up he would hear your phone ringing. Seeing it on the counter…. Ran’s heart dropped  he didn’t know what to do he began to internally panic not knowing if something happened to you. There was no trace of you or where you could have gone. 

He had called family and friends no one had heard from you. Ran began to think of one person who would know where you went. The same person that couldn’t have you. 

Draken was at work when he saw the eldest Haitani brother pull up to the shop. Ran never came to the shop unless it was with you.The two never really engaged in conversation with one another. There was that bit of tension other people noticed but it flew over your head. He looked annoyed looking over at Draken, Emma was visiting the shop to bring Draken lunch when she saw Ran.  “Where is she?” 

Draken was screwing a bolt on a bike when he heard the question. He held the wrench in his hand as Ran approached. The guys in the shop heard the question wondering what Ran was talking about. “Where is who Haitani?” Draken asked as they both were a few feet apart. 

“She is gone.” Ran looked at him. “Don’t act dumb tell me where she is.” 

Emma looked over at Draken “Draken what is he talking about?” 

“I don’t know what he is talking about.” Draken paused for a moment realizing the question “wait what do you mean she is gone?” 

“______ took off  last night. No one has seen her or spoken to her since yesterday. You're the only person she tells things to or what she is planning.”  Ran's face was serious as he and Draken looked at one another. 

“She hasn’t told me anything.” Draken found it odd you left without an explanation. Something must have happened for you to go to the extent of leaving the way you did. “What the hell did you do to her to make her leave?” Draken asked.

Emma looked over at Draken who had a stern expression on his face. Just in this moment she could tell he wasn’t over you.  Even after telling her many times, she just knew. Draken pushed aside his feelings after he found out about you and Ran dating. He started seeing you less than usual. He didn’t want to ruin what was making you happy even if you were with someone else. 

“What are you assuming now?” Ran responded  “you really wanna go there?” 

“______ wouldn’t just leave the way she did unless you did something you prick.” His hand was holding tighter on the wrench. “If you touched her I sw-“

“You would have liked that huh? So can you save her?” He let out a sarcastic laugh. “I would never have harmed her, you should know that by now…Such a bold move in front of your woman.” Ran looked over at Emma “how do you feel about that? Seeing how irked he got about MY girlfriend now.”  His attention went back to Draken. “If I find out you're lying about knowing where she is… you won’t see the last of me.”

“I would like to see you try.”  Draken spoke in a threat of tone. 

They both started down one another before Ran took off in his car. Draken looked over at Emma who was looking down on the ground. She was feeling insecure about their relationship. She walked away ‘shit’  Draken followed her. “Emma, wait.”  

He reached for her hand. The moment she turned around her eyes were filled with tears. “Draken, I need to go” 

He couldn’t leave her like this. He took her to the break room which was empty. “Emma, you know I love you.” He did love Emma and felt guilty for making her feel like this. 

“Do you  honestly do?” She wiped her eyes. She felt like an option of what Draken settled for instead of who he wanted to be with. 

He closed his eyes for a brief moment before responding “l do.” He held her close to him. Emma's arms wrapped around him. His chin was resting on the top of her head. Draken couldn’t come to terms he wasn’t over you. As obvious it was right now he saw it was hurting Emma. He wanted to make this work with her, being in love with someone who wasn’t his from the beginning and he needed to move on in his life. He needed to be happy as well. 

~~~~ 

In that same time frame Draken was thinking about that day. From that point on, time passed once his relationship with Emma felt strong and solid; he wanted that next step in making her his wife. He began thinking about the efforts he tried to put in his marriage. But it was never enough… resulting in divorce. Emma prolonged the divorce for months making it more difficult for the both of them. 

Just him being able to hold you in his arms right now he had hope this would take off from here. But the challenges would only start to rise. He wasn’t fully sure how much of you wanted to move on from Ran or how long this would last between you both. You and Ran share a daughter together and a lot of memories that you and Draken hadn’t experienced. He was willing to fight for a chance to be with you. 

“______ are you up?” He quietly spoke. When he didn’t hear you respond he assumed you were sleeping. “I love you.”

You heard the words coming from Draken. Your eye slightly opened but he was unable to see them due to the angle. You honestly didn’t know how to respond. The last person you told I love you was your daughter. The words I love you held so much meaning to you, you wouldn’t mean it unless you truly were in love with someone. Draken effortlessly saying it with no hesitation. 

Ran on the other side of the city the built up anger and stress he was feeling wouldn’t go away quick enough.  No matter how rough the sex was this time, he couldn’t get rid of the image of you sleeping with Draken. It only filled his anger more. Everything he used to do to you he was now thinking you were doing it with Draken. 

Even after the sex it wasn’t enough for him. Ran getting off the bed and went into his coat pocket pulling out a cigarette. Looking at the time it was 4:30 am, “I have to get going.” Ms. Yamaguchi held the cover over her naked frame “You might as well stay. It’s already late.” 

“I prefer just to leave…my day is going to be long.” Ran spoke. 

“You seem so serious.” she gathered her hair on one side of her shoulder 

“I have a lot to deal with right now.” Ran was quickly getting dressed. “It felt like it. You wanna talk about it?” Ms. Yamaguchi asked as she reached for her robe.  Walking towards him. “Ya know you just don’t have to come over and fuck my brains out only. I’m a great listener.” ‘Also the one that made this predicament I’m in more stressful’ he said to himself. “I don’t wanna worry your pretty little head with things in my life.” Ran smirked his hands brushing through his hair. “I’ll see ya later at the club.”

He will be attending the meeting with Nishimura in a few hours. He only managed to get a few hours of sleep. Meeting Rindou at their office in the club  “you look like shit.” Rindou looked at him.

“Let's just get this over with.” Ran took a seat next to his brother. 

The meeting went on, certain demands were requested before they restart their negotiations. Both Rin and Ran were aware of the missing truck and products that were taken; they wouldn’t tell them they were in their possession. “We can make sure that doesn’t happen this time. But our price will be higher than last time and we need the money upfront before we make the drops.” Rin spoke.

They both saw the group of men speaking before the head of the Nishimura family spoke “Very well we will make some arrangements for that but we expect to hold your end of the bargain on things.” “Of course we can handle it. Just let us know when you want us to deliver the shipments.” Ran spoke “I will have someone reach out to you both regarding our shipment. I think this wraps things up,  we discuss everything that needs to be discussed. Well gentlemen, pleasure doing business as always.” Exiting out of the meeting, Ran got up from the chair. Rin looked over at his brother, “Don’t do anything stupid now.” 

“We will see what happens. I can’t promise anything I know I can’t promise.” 

~~~~~

Draken brought you to the shop to pick up your car. Both of you got out of his car and he walked you over to your car. “Thank you for last night.” “You don’t need to thank me.” he responded “I’m glad you went out with me. Looking forward to the next one.” “Me too.” you smiled  

Draken looked over at the shop to see some of his co-workers looking his way but then turned around when he saw them. “I know you gotta get d/n. You should get going.” his hand reached for your cheek before pressing his lips onto yours. “Right, I will talk to you later?” you asked him.

He nodded “yeah.” Draken opened your car door for you and saw you leave down the road.

Walking to the shop “So still just friends?” Inui asked. “And I wasn’t going to come into the shop today.” Mikey responded. “I take it that things are going well.”  Was dropping by the shop to catch the moment between you and Draken. “The date went well, she had to pick up d/n.” “She stood over huh?”  Mikey leaned against the tool cart. 

“Of course she did. The mark on her neck would prove she did.” Inui looked over at Draken 

“That’s enough. Stop trying to dig for info.” Draken spoke. Even if it was his day off he stood for a while to see the work Inui was doing. 

Seeing a car pull up into the parking lot. Getting out of the car was the eldest Haitani brother. His eyes darted over at  Ken who was looking back at him. “What do you want Haitani?” 

“I came here as a warning to you.” Ran spoke in a serious tone. “You stay away from _______ and my daughter or else.” 

Draken didn’t back down from the threatening tone. “You don’t scare me Haitani. If me and _____ decide to see one another, you're not going to stop us.” 

Ran let out a sarcastic laugh “see each other? That is a good one. It will be over my dead body if you think you can walk in and try to step in.”

“I’m not backing down anytime Haitani. You fucked up not me. You had your chance with _______, I will make sure she never gets hurt again.” 

“We will see about that.”  Ran said as he saw Mikey and Inui also looking at him. “You're lucky I don’t put a bullet in between your eyes right now.”

Mikey spoke in a monotone voice  “I think you should leave Haitani. Making threats here is not the best thing to do either.” 

“Really now?” Ran looked over at Mikey ``Such a shame, the person your sister only loved didn’t love her back. Yet you choose to still hang out with the man who divorced her. Some family you are.” Ran turned around “Stay away from them or there is a bullet with your name on it.” he walked back to the car before peeling off out of the drive away. “Is she even worth all this?” Inui asked, looking over at Draken.

“She is and if it means dealing with him… I will. I won’t back down to him.”

~~~~~~~~~ 

You stood for a few hours at your aunts before heading home. Arriving home you saw Ran leaning against his car with his hands in his pocket. “Mommy look, it's Mr. Ran!” She pointed out the window.

“Yeah there he is.” You parked the car, Ran made his way towards your car. You felt your anxiety kicking in the closer he got to the car. You didn’t know if he was going to make an incident in the front of the house or what.

Ran opened the back door to the car. “ Hello there princess.” 

“Hello.” She smiled. 

You got out of the car and he picked up D/n walking with her inside the house. They talked for a moment before he spoke  “Hey princess, me and your mommy need to talk really fast. Is it okay if you go up to your room?” 

She nodded. He put her down and he watched her go up the stairs. You on the other hand knew where this was going. Ran noticed the mark on your neck right away walking closer  you could see him slightly shake his head, his hand grasping your chin turning your head to the side. “You let him fuck you didn’t you...” the violet orbs that were always so kind felt cold.

“And if I did Ran?” You said you avoided eye contact with him as you pushed his hand away from your chin., “It doesn’t concern you on what I do. We are not together, you need to understand that.” 

He was a bit agitated by your response. He snapped it wasn’t by choice you both weren’t together.  “the reason why we aren’t together  is because you decide to fucking leave in the mild of the fucking night pregnant with my daughter. You think I wanted to give that up? You fucking think for a minute how that affected me? You fucking show up back in town and wouldn’t even have told me still I had a daughter?  

“I gave you my reason for leaving. I was doing what was best for my daughter Ran. You were so caught up with all your underground bullshit and living that dangerous lifestyle. Did you think that would have been the best thing for her growing up?!” 

His hand slammed on the counter hard as it made you jump a little bit. “Our daughter would have been safe ________! Did it ever occur to you it would have all worked out? Of course you didn’t because you jump to the worse fucking scenario as always.  Did you fucking forget I wanted to start a family with you. I wanted to marry you. Everything we had gone through together you just let it disappear just like that. Like I never existed in your life.” He looked at you. “My daughter calls me Mr. Ran… she doesn’t really know how close her daddy is to her and her mother. The only woman I loved just looks at me like I’m no good. To feel like a stranger in your life.” 

You paused for a moment “Ran..” “You don’t know the pain I went through all those years when you were gone…Yeah I slept with women to try and forget about you but you were always there. Comparing them to you and everything you did.” 

 From up stairs d/n could hear bits and pieces of what was going on. As a  child's curiosity, she didn’t know what was going on. She heard the ending Ran phrase ‘My daughter calls me Mr. Ran she doesn’t really know how close her daddy is to her’ 

D/n understood certain things and with that phrase she wanted to know if Ran was her father. Even though they asked her to go to her room as they talked she was too impatient. She could hear the argument between you and possibly her father. You caught a glimpse of your daughter who was peaking on the other side of the wall. “Sweetheart me and Mr Ran are talking.”

She looked at Ran, the same violet eyes looking down at her. Walking towards Ran, something told him to kneel down as she came closer. As he was eye level with his little one she looked at him. Her little hands reached for his face and she began to study his face more closely.. “Your eyes are like mine.” 

His hands rested on hers. “I know, princess….” he started off, Ran couldn’t hold it in anymore he felt the moment needed to be addressed right here and right now. “D/n do you know you're a part of me?”  He asked her, and she responded with a nod. “Who am I?” 

“My daddy?” d/n she gave a soft smile. 

Ran needed this moment right now. His arms wrapped around his little one. She didn’t let go either she held on tightly to Ran. The corner of her eyes began to water up, Ran wiped her eyes “it’s okay.” He kissed her temple. “I don’t plan on leaving you d/n.” Even with the arguing moments ago he didn’t care at all. His baby knew who he was. Something that he had been wanting to do since the first day he met his daughter, hold her just like this and make her feel safe.

“Does this mean Mr. Rin is my uncle? 

“He is.” Ran smiled. 

D/n was happy about this news, she finally had a daddy. “Mommy, does this mean we can all live together? Just like in the stories we read?” “It’s not that simple d/n”  you looked at her . She was a bit confused “but why?” “D/n…Right now me and your daddy are still figuring out somethings.” 

“Then we can live together right?” she asked. “We will see about that princess. Right now me and mommy have to talk some more about it…” “Okay…” she was a little bummed in her response. 

Ran knew how his daughter felt he wanted that as well but he knew it was something  he couldn’t control, not this time. “D/n me and mommy need to finish talking okay?”

“Okay…” She got down from her fathers arms and began to return to her room.

 Both of you walked into the back yard, the brief moment of silence as a light breeze floated in the backyard. “You didn’t give me a fair chance _____.” he started off. “From that point on when you left. I thought we were happy and moving forward in our future… I guess it was one sided. Even now…I know you don’t believe me, how much I wanted you back or how much I loved you.” “I do believe you Ran..how you are talking right now I know it’s the truth…I just couldn’t jump in where we left off… it wasn’t right..and just… never mind “

He looked at you then out into the yard. “What, Draken made you that confused on how you feel about me now or what? If I were to tell you right now I love you.. Would you say it back?” 

“Ran…” 

“You can simply deny all you want ________, but I know your response when I tell you I love you. ”  he wasn’t going to give up so easily, “I know every part of you very well. Even after not seeing you for so long. I know what you like, what you don’t…how to make you quiver and make you cum so quickly. Are you afraid of looking weak in front of me now?” You rolled your eyes. “I don’t know since you know me so well, you tell me.” He let a low chuckle out “You're afraid of caving in. That night on the phone you were fighting that urge. You wanted me to come over, if I would have it would have solved a lot of problems right then and there. Were you so desperate for sex you caved into sleeping with him?” it happened so quickly you found yourself against the wall he had you trapped between the wall and him. “What is it because he told you he  loved you? You felt special?” He was inches from your face, the somber tone he used as he spoke. “You opened your legs right away…If I find him here I mean it ______ he is a dead man. No other man is going to be around my daughter in that way.” he leaned back. “I can promise that.”  He began walking into the house. “Ran, I need you to leave.” your voice was calm but you felt angry with him and how he was acting. His words felt like you belonged to him whether or not you were with him. “As you wish.” Ran casually walked upstairs to the bedroom where his daughter was playing. 

He told her he had to leave because he had to work. “Are you coming tomorrow?” she asked

“Of course, I gotta see my girl.”he smiled and kissed her temple. After saying their goodbyes. You didn’t even walk him to the door. He let himself out.

Draken would end up texting you a few hours later that Ran went to his job knowing that you both went out the night prior along with the threats. “I’m sorry..” you sighed in the phone 

“It’s not your fault he did that.” Draken responded. 

“Still think it’s okay to still go on dates?” Asking him. “I just don't wanna cause problems.” 

“He doesn’t scare me, it may work on others but not me. If he has a problem with me taking you out he knows where to find me. I still want to take you out.”

You had a small smile. You heard your daughter call out for your name “mommy!”

“D/n calling for you.” you heard Draken chuckled. “Yeah, I will call you later” you told him

“Sounds good to me.Talk to you later” 

When you hung up the phone. You walked up the stairs towards your daughter's room.  When getting to her room you saw her sitting on her bed holding her stuffed rabbit tightly. “Sweetie what is the matter?” Walking into her you kneel down looking at her. You noticed her eyes looking at the corner of her room and then back at you. In  the corner of her room you saw a large man. Wearing all black and wearing a mask. “______ is it?” the deep raspy voice spoke. “Who the hell are you?” you looked at him. 

“Unfortunately I can't tell you that. You see I actually came here for a purpose…” 

“Purpose?” you stood up. “I was given an order to kill you..”  You felt your stomach drop, your daughter began sobbing louder. She held onto you tightly, “But I’m a reasonable man now. You see you are linked to Ran Haitani.” “What about him?” you asked. “Whatever Ran it has nothing to do with us.” 

“As my boss sees it, it can play a big role in our favor… Ran has something in his possession for years now and we want it back. I mean for years we tried to get it back but with no success but after following him for sometime we finally found something to make him budge.”  

You remembered the black car that was following you the other day… “mommy.” Your daughter was still sobbing. 

“Shh there there d/n  it’s okay no need to cry.” The man said, “You see, we didn't expect one of the  Haitani brothers to have a private family but assuming he didn’t know until a few weeks ago. And let me tell you it would be a shame to see that taken away so quickly right _____? Your daughter's life is so precious and so young. She hasn’t experienced life to the fullest yet.” 

“Please just don’t hurt her.” Your arms wrapped around your daughter.  Your heart was pushing with anxiety you didn’t know what this masked man was gonna do. You were trying to figure a way to please the man. You're heard rambling with various ideas. “What if I told him whatever he has to give it back. Please I-I promise he will give it back.” You splattered out. 

“You wouldn’t be lying to me right now to save your lives.” On the side of his pants pocket you had the pistol. 

“Please, I will do anything to protect my daughter.” 

“What a good mother you are. If you're able to get the stolen items back to my possession I will spare you and your daughters life but don’t play me for a fool ....” He walked closer and his large intimidating structure stood in front of you. “I know where you are at all times from your family's home to where d/n goes to school. I won’t hesitate to end your lives quickly. I expect to see the items returned soon. The sooner the better.” 

“Y-yes.”you nodded quickly.

The man pulled his phone out. Bringing it to his ear. “Bring the car to the front…” before handing up. “Let’s see how selfless of a man he truly is…. I do need to make my exit.. you are not allowed to leave this room for ten minutes… when the ten mins is up you can leave. Maybe even find Ran and tell him to quickly return the items.” 

The man walked out of the room disappearing down the hallway. You didn’t know how you did it for so long but your legs were trembling, you fell to your knees, your arms hugging d/n tightly. “I'm sorry d/n.”  The tears fell onto your cheeks. “I’m so sorry.” You need to get this taken care of right away. You looked at your daughter wiping her tears away “I’m here d/n I promised I will always be with you.” She nodded slightly sniffling.

You began collecting your thoughts before you decided to grab a bag. You weren’t going to risk staying here the night. You packed a bag for you and d/n. Quickly getting  her into the car you headed out to your aunt's home. 

Knocking on the door to her home. You looked around to see if any cars were around as you had your daughter in your arms. Paranoid you were being followed. When she opened the door you quickly got in. “What’s going on??” She looked at you and saw you with a distressed look. 

“I need to do something important. I will explain everything later. Can you please watch d/n?” You asked your aunt. 

With the tone and expression she was concerned but she couldn’t ask. D/n heated you were going to leave here and she held onto you right. “Please don’t go mommy.” 

“Sweetheart I have to… I  promise I will be back okay?” You tried to use soothing words to her. 

“I don’t want the bad man coming back.” 

Aunt looked at you. She was growing more concerned. “He won’t, mommy needs to find daddy and we will get this fixed.”

Giving her a tight hug and kiss, you looked at your aunt. “Thank you…” 

“Please come back,” your aunt looked at you. 

Pulling up to the club, you were underdressed to be going in there.  At this point you didn’t care when you entered the building you moved through the crowd. People looked at you  walking pass them as they were in the weekend clothing. Looking for Ran, but you were spotted by Rindou who was at the bar. He could see you were pissed off, “god dammit.”Rindou reached for your arm when you realized it was him. 

“Where is Ran.” you managed to speak loud enough over the music “_____  this can’t wait?” Rindou spoke, he thought it was because of what his brother did earlier. “Making a scene here is not good fo-“

You didn’t let him finish his sentence “Rin where is he at or I will find him myself.” you looked at him. There was no point in him trying to change your mind. “Come on.” 

You followed him closely behind, you saw Ran next to him was a woman wearing a dress that seemed too small bending over her whole ass would be showing. She was pretty close to him,but the way he was looking at her was a bit off putting as if he was uninterested but she was trying to have his attention on her. When Ran saw Rindou approaching, Ran saw you. The incident from earlier he wasn’t expecting to hear from you, let alone see you.

 The woman next to him was Ms.Yamaguchi. She noticed Ran’s attention was at you. "She came here in that?’ She thought to herself as she looked at you up and down. 

 Ran walked towards you leaving her side  “what is it?” he asked.

“What did you do?” you looked at him. “Who did you piss off?”

He was confused about what you were asking him. He had you follow him down a hallway that led to his office. When he closed the door he asked “What are you talking about?” he asked. “Ran, who did you piss off?” you ask him as you crossed your arms looking at him you were trying to keep calm. From the incident with the person in your home.  “What is with this question?” he asked “Someone was in my house and they knew you! They know where my family is, where d/n goes to school! ” you finally snapped. “This is what I was afraid of! You keep fucking with  people they are going to poke back! Are you trying to put d/n life at risk?!” 

Ran saw the anxiety and anger you displayed in front of him. “Where is D/n?” 

“She is at my aunt's house. I don’t know what the fuck you took but what ever it is they are not playing around.” You began to panic more thinking the worst. Remembering the threats. 

“______ you need to calm down.”  His hands resting on your shoulders. Threats being made to you and d/n pissed him off. He had a hunch in who it was but needed proof it was them. He didn’t want to jump onto it right away.

 Warm tears fell down from your cheeks pushing his hands off of you. “When you have someone threatening to take your daughter's life you wouldn’t be calm Ran. So don’t fucking tell me to calm down.”  He noticed you began to hyperventilate. 

“You being upset and freaking out is not making it any better _____” He spoke in a more stern tone. “I will find out who did this okay? I need some information about what they look like?” 

“He was in all black and had a mask on. His voice was deep and raspy like he smoked a lot…” You close your eyes seeing the tall masked man as you were  trying to stay calm. You didn’t want to go home not knowing if they would be there. You leaned against the desk running your finger through your hair. Your head was hurting and anxiety wasn’t helping it. 

You heard a knock in the door. The door opened to find the woman he was standing by a few mins ago “Ran darling  everything okay?” Ms Yamaguchi asked as she entered the room. Both you and her looked at one another “oh sorry I didn’t realize you had a guest still..” 

When you heard her voice you recognized it right away.  It was the other woman you heard that night. She was beautiful and she made you feel insecure a bit. She looked like she was a better fit for him than you ever did. You averted your eyes back to Ran. “Sorry for keeping him…”

“Oh it’s fine. I was just getting a bit lonely without him. I can take him back when you're done. Are you a friend of his?” She asked. Ms. Yamaguchi played a bit dumb knowing exactly who you were. 

 “_____ this is Ms. Yamaguchi… Ms. Yamaguchi this is _____”  Ran introduced you both. “Ms. Yamaguchi, me and ______ were in the middle of a discussion right now.” Ran could see Ms. Yamaguchi was butting in and saying things that weren’t really how they sounded to be. She latched onto him when she arrived and he was trying to show in his expression and demeanor how uninterested he was in her. 

“No no it’s fine I need to get going…”  you began walking off. “Nice meeting you…” 

Ran saw you walking off and he proceeded to follow you, as he passed Ms. Yamaguchi. “Wait where are you going?!?” 

“I need to finish talking to ______.”  Ran didn’t look at her as he began following you. 

The music was blasting loud as you walked to the exit. Ran was trailing behind you calling your name out. When you got out of the club you walked faster to your car. “Can you stop walking, dammit. Stop ignoring me.” He reached for your upper arm getting ahold of it. 

“That was her…”  you shook your head. “Ran darling…” 

“Ms. Yamaguchi does business with me and Rin.” 

“And you get to fuck her right between the meetings? Ran I’m not stupid but then again it’s not my business who you decide to fuck…I just know you have.” Why was it bothering you so much just seeing her?  The memories of running into Ran’s past lovers years back and how they would act towards you. It was always so unsettling to you. Instead of him comforting you each time it happened in the past, you had to manage it yourself and you did a poor job doing it..You got yourself worked up. Seeing Ms. Yamaguchi and putting a face to the voice didn’t help.

“She is not important right now . What is important right now is you and d/n.”  Ran said.  He saw you were still hyperventilating a bit. He held onto the sides of your face and he was focused on current state of mind. 

“I- I need to leave…” your body began to sway slightly stumbling trying to push his hands away from your face but you felt weak 

“______. You need to calm down.” his request wouldn’t be completed once your vision went black. Ran managing to hold onto your body. Making sure you didn’t fall to the ground “_______! Fuck.”  he called the bodyguard outside letting them know to call Rin. Rindou made it outside “What the fuck happened?!” 

Ran held you bride style in his arms ``she passed out… Look I need you to go get D/n from her aunt's house. Bring her to my place. I’m gonna take _______ there.” Ran had his car pulled up by the valle. Rindou helped him place you in the car, before he took off. As he arrived at his home he carefully carried your body to his bedroom placing you on the bed.  He wasn’t going to let you go back home if they were easy to get into the home like that he wasn’t going to risk having you there. Ran looked down at you ‘if only this scenario were different than right now.’ he thought to himself. Walking out of his room he loosened his tie and removed his jacket.  Rindou arrived with D/n who was hugging her as she was asleep. Ran didn’t want to disturb her sleep so he kissed her forehead.  “Put her in the room with ______.” After a few mins Rindou came out of the bedroom. “What the hell happened.”

“Someone broke into their home and threatened ________ and d/n. I don’t know all the details but from what ______ told it's someone I know… they want items back…” Ran gave Rin a look already knowing who it could be. “But I need proof it's them…They have info on d/n school along with ________ info as well and  her family… They are going to need to stay here for a while till this shit gets cleared.” 

“Did she agree?  Asking him. “She will have to, I don't see any other option.” Ran sat on the couch and he felt his phone ring. Pulling out his phone he saw it was Ms.Yamaguchi he rolled his eyes and sent her to voicemail. “She didn’t help either. It was a wrong move signing a contract with her… I feel like she made it more complicated than needed. She just added fuel to the fire…very close to telling to fuck off.” “Speaking of the devil she noticed you following_______ out  and asked me about it, let's just say I told there was a lot of history she wouldn’t understand .” “Pain in the ass I swear if she didn’t open her mouth everything between me and _____ , it would be better. Now I’m facing the difficulties of  dealing with fucken Draken.. Both of them had fucked..”

“Think of it now since she is here you really think she will go see Draken let alone leave when she knows someone is watching her.” Rindou sat on the other side of the couch. “As I see it the is an opportunity to fix any issues you might have.”.

Tagging: @pjmo-ri-ka-wawa /@rindougf/ @inupiluv/ @shycreatorsandwich / @awkwardaardvarkforever /@the-haitani-baton /@bontensbabygirl /@thebrownemo / @satanlovesusall666 /@intheafterall /@galactict3a / @ratlovecat/@niko-ash /@kira-rrh / @iluv-ace /@kosoyumei / @nightqueensk / @alexanderlightwoodii / @captainmycaptainn/@lovenats01@sintyu/ @strawberrychrome /@missgab @anxious-chick / @oyaoyaoyaoyaoyaoyaoyaoya /@s4dl1/ @elmakimaki / @spookiisopium/@staygoldsquatchling02, /@txna04, /@hana-patata /@livefromnc, /@mikorime,/ @mdibby / @chronic-claire-universe /@cxrrxxx / @drakensdarling / @stephisokay / @livuknown / @lunatical /@q-the-rockaholic / @istanstraykids / @opchara / @kinybgvcdxs / @twistedw0nd3rland3acc / @cloudsinthecosmos / @ratlovedrama / @galliardsmaniac / @villsophie / @mztoman Interested in joining the taglist please fill out the form below to get a notification of your favorite characters when they are being posted! Link here ->taglist

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[coal15]

My opinions on the whole multi-shipping Buddie and Tevan situation. But first, [steps up on soapbox and yells into bullhorn] HAVE NO BEEF WITH ANYONE WHO FEELS DIFFERENTLY THAN ME SO I'D REALLY APPRECIATE NOT GETTING ANY "YOUR OPINIONS ARE STUPID AND PROBABLY SO ARE YOU" COMMENTS IN MY REPLIES. **If any such comments do appear in my replies I would ask the rest of you to please simply ignore them. You won't change their minds so confrontation will do nothing but further poison the waters.

Ahem. Carrying on. Warning, this post is LONG. Like, practically a novella.

I'm still a multi-shipper at heart in the sense that I will always love my memories in the Buddie fandom and how vocally we showed our support over the last six years--yes there was a SUPER PROMINENT contingent among us who directly engaged with and verbally disemboweled every actress who played a li on a regular basis, (and who harassed Oliver to the point of him quitting twitter) but most of us had the sense to direct our ranting at the fictional character or writers/showrunner/network with varying degrees of anger or indignation. Now speaking just for myself, in my time as a Buddie fan I never commented on the physical appearance of any li, so seeing a lot of buddie-or-bust folks now referring to Lou as "ugly" "rectangle-faced" "gross looking," etc has been disappointing. I hope they represent the minority. So far it looks like they do.

On to my reasons for and/or role in shutting down non-Buddie romances: While I never took to engaging her personally, I voiced harsh criticism of GW over her "honorary latina" comment, likewise EG for her transphobia and non-apology apology ("I'm sorry if you felt offended). And while I wish bucktaylor had stayed besties (preferably bi besties since there was no reason Buck couldn't have his bi awakening with a woman), my issue with them dating was at first just a lack of romantic chemistry and the fact that Taylor never apologized for what she did to Bobby or even admitted it was wrong. But as the relationship dragged on I watched the life drain out of Buck. They were stagnant as a couple and the look on Buck's face when he said ily back to her was . . . laughably unromantic. The only growth his character got from that relationship was him being the one to end it. As for eddieana, on top of lacking chemistry they were just plain dull. The end.

Moving on to Buck's kiss w/Lucy: I actually like AK and was excited to hear about her coming to 9-1-1. She was fun af as Lexi on VD so I was looking forward to seeing her play a different character. Aaaaannnnnnd then KR immediately ruined her by making it abundantly clear that she was created for one sole purpose: to complicate a man's storyline and spark off a love triangle--and she did so in the most offensive way possible. It was appalling, negatively affected Buck's character, and thankfully KR's response to the intense backlash was to pivot so the love triangle never manifested. But the damage was already done. No one had any interest in watching them poke/flirt for the rest of the season. I was deeply offended by such a misogynistic use of a female character and it still boggles my mind that a woman created her.

Anyhow, all this was a long winded way of saying that my reasons for wanting those li gone went well beyond my investment in Buddie. Though I did strongly believe no romantic narrative for either of them could ever compete w/the Buckley-Diaz Family, at the end of the day those romantic arcs were ruined for me by writing mistakes, problematic actresses, and lack of chemistry (which is admittedly subjective and something we all approach with shipper goggles to some degree--if you think you 100% absolutely don't you're lying to yourself). I stand by a lot of the reasons Buddies were so opposed to those li being endgame. Yes, plenty of us took things waaaaaaay over the line re: direct personal attacks against actresses and/or non-buddie fans, but I think far more of us than not did argue in good faith and toward the right people. We just didn't stand out as much or get as much engagement because . . . well, toxic behavior is rewarded on sm with more clicks, shares, likes, quotes, etc. Attention seekers gonna seek.

As for why it's so hard to ship happily on sm: in my experience a handful of problematic or outright unhinged fans (on both sides) will go around stirring shit, provoking arguments, and soon the dog pile effect kicks in because everyone wants to defend their tribe. Arguments go in circles, spin off, get more and more petty, until most of "us" end up discussing amongst ourselves about how "they" are a bunch of [insert string of negative attributes here], which then in itself provokes a reaction from "them." Lather, rinse, repeat. Eventually way too many of "us" are hissing and snarling at "them" more often than theorizing about or celebrating our ship . . . the thing we enjoy . . . and it's really hard to detach from that cycle, especially when things get personal. I recommend total non-acknowledgement, but even I struggle to hold that line when I read something I think is terrible. I'm making an effort these days to just keep scrolling thru my feed until I hit something happy, and if there's a negative comment somewhere in the thread to give it ZERO engagement of any kind. Not. Easy.

Which brings me to where I am today. During my time in the Buddie fandom I assumed that for most of us the actual queer rep mattered more than any one ship. Hell, if Taylor had been the one to wake Buck up to his bisexuality--and admitted what she did to Bobby was wrong--they might have grown on me as an endgame couple. I've accepted "meh" endgame couples before as long as everything else on a show stayed solid. I also thought that Buck could never, ever look at anyone with bigger hearteyes than the way he looked at Eddie, but . . .

. . . Enter Tommy. As soon as they kissed, and in their albeit limited screentime afterward (thanks a lot shortened season!) I learned a lesson: there are different kinds of hearteyes. In my opinion Buck looks at Eddie with complete adoration and love, yes. Total hearteyes. But the way he looks at Tommy is . . . "Oh, that's what Buck looks like when he's absolutely smitten, that's how he acts, that's what a romantic crush looks like on Buck. Wow." It wasn't better or worse than his hearteyes or vibe with Eddie, just conspicuously different. It re-framed the way I see the Buckley-Diaz Family as well, and the way I read their chemistry. As I mentioned earlier chemistry is subjective, and once I actually had something queer to compare with Buddie's chemistry, I stopped rooting for romantic Buddie. I wouldn't exactly be furious if they went canon since I did spend all those years rooting for them and it would still be a high profile queer storyline, but I would rather see the Buckley-Diaz Family and Tevan coexist. I think they can, and I think it would be beautiful.

So here's where I stand with my preference and opinions today:

Falling in love doesn't mean everyone else in your life gets demoted. Feelings aren't like pie. Maddie doesn't love Buck any less since she fell in love with Chimney. Athena didn't love her daughter any less when her son came along. There's not a finite amount of love and you're serving out pieces of it. You can love more than one person with all your heart. And that's how I feel about Buck and the Buckley-Diaz Family. He and Eddie are more than friends, different than brothers, they just . . . have their own dynamic. It's unique, special, and vital to both of their identities. And those facts will not be altered by either of them falling in love w/another person. If anything, the Buckley-Diaz Fam has become more special to me since I started rooting for a Tevan endgame.

Queer rep matters more to me than Buddie. Buck coming out as bi wasn't and shouldn't be seen as a step on the road to "winning" the ship I wanted for years. It is completely awesome progress for us whether they're endgame or not. Ditto for Tevan. Also, at the end of the day I ship Buck+Happiness and Eddie+Happiness, and right now Buck seems to be falling for Tommy. What happens with Eddie remains to be seen.

Looking at the whole picture, I will always love Buddie and kinda wish they'd gone canon in s4 or 5, but I think that moment has passed and I'm not mad or bitter about it. I adore the Buckley-Diaz Family, I adore Tevan, and I want to see them both thrive in s8. Now if you'll excuse me, my fingers have begun to bleed from all this typing.

[wildpeachfarm]

I understand people saying with 18 you aren't a real adult yet but... you are. I have the feeling mostly americans see 18 yo as 'children' still because a lot of stuff you can only do wth 21 there. In Europe you will be a full fledged adult and you will be treated like on. With 18 you can drink, you can drive, you will most likely be far enough in school to starts a career, depending on what you wanna do.

18 is grown up and the brain is developed enough to not make certain mistakes anymore. Not to forget that at first it was claimed she was 'freshly 18' when she was already 18 1/2.

People have to stop infantalizing grown up people. That's why Tommy turned out the way he is, cause people kept seeing and treating him as a child. Now that dude makes rape and necrophilia jokes because people keep saying 'he's basically still a child!'

No. Stop doing that. Let people take responsibilities as the adults that they are. With 18 you should know what is Sa and what not. You should know how you can ruin someone's whole life with making allegations like this.

If Caiti actually didn't know what she was doing, then she shouldn't be a Content Creator and stay off from the public image. She admitted she was there not to befriend people but to meet big creators and do networking. That's adult thinking.

Stop trying to push the morlas of 'she's not completely grown' on people who fucked up with something that someone with their age shouldn't fuck up with.

And I am saying that as a 18 year old myself btw. She KNEW what she was doing, she knewingly used terms that SA and rape victims use in her first stream, she knew she was getting drunk as well.

Sure the brain isn't completely developed yet, but enough to not do something like that

Ok here's some more anon thoughts on all of the age/alcohol talk

Honestly I understand everyone's points tbh. Like it's all a double-edged sword that applies to each 18 year old differently because I've seen some super independent, mature 18 year olds that have been living on their own for years, but also some veeery immature and sheltered ones that can barely function in the world. It all heavily depends on the situation imo

And as soon as alcohol is introduced, it immediately becomes 10x messier so yeah this situation is just very nuanced and I think everyone will feel a little bit differently about it based on their personal experiences at that age and I get that 100%.

Like I personally was a very mature and independent 18 year old but I know people who weren't and still act like children even into their 20s. It really varies person-to-person

[buddiebeginz]

I just want to say if you're following me for 911/Buddie I don't plan on posting much Buck/Tommy stuff. This isn't anything against Buck or what's going on with his story right now. I've wrote posts myself talking about how I know that Buck having this journey and this relationship with Tommy before Eddie is important. Still I'm not a multishipper I'm here for Buddie first and foremost and I want to see the guys end up together eventually.

The issues I have with Buck/Tommy and the reason I plan on avoiding them isn't even really a shipping one so much as it's how parts of fandom are responding to them. It's literally only been a few days and already I've seen tons of posts, comments, tweets, fanfiction, tiktoks, etc being anti Buddie. I just came across a fic last night that was about how Eddie treated Buck awful (used him for sex) and then Tommy came along to be the best boyfriend ever.

I'm just not here for the way people are treating Buddie and Eddie. I also don't like how people keep saying Buck's story is more important than Buddie. All of it is important. Buck, Eddie, Buddie, Buddie and Chris (as a family) all of their stories and what they mean for incredibly needed lgbtq represention are important.

I'm so thankful that 911 is doing a bi storyline with a character like Buck (one I relate to a lot) but the fact that I still want to see them follow through and extend that to Eddie and Buddie doesn't mean I'm trying to take anything away from Buck's journey.

We've never really had a same sex slow burn story like this and especially not with characters like Buck and Eddie. Older queer characters who are figuring out their sexuality later in life. Who are also raising a son together. Who don't fit into some preconceived mold of what it means to be queer. Having Buddie be canon would be groundbreaking it’s own way and if they follow through on this story I believe it has the power to really change media in some ways. I think them doing Buck's coming out storyline is already doing that. It is basically unheard of for a primetime show like 911, with a character like Buck who was basically written to appeal to straight men and women to now come out so late in the shows run. The show is taking a risk and will be taking an even bigger one to make Buddie happen but that's why they need to follow through on it.

I'm not going to apologize for wanting all of the stuff we've been hoping and begging the show runners and networks to give us for 6 seasons. It is possible to care about more than one thing. I can wholeheartedly love and relate to and support Buck's journey while still wanting to see Buck and Eddie together and definitely still want to see Eddie's coming out story too.

I'm also tired of seeing people outside of the Buddie fandom say Buck and Eddie are too good of friends to "ruin" with making into a couple. That Buck and Tommy should be endgame so Buck and Eddie can stay friends. Fact is Buck and Eddie have never been just friends. If you look at how Hen and Chim and Athena and Hen and any other friendship on the show is they're not written the same at all. They don't have the same kind of depth and definitely don't have the same romantic and sometimes sexual overtones that Buddie's does. We obviously need more male friendships in media but Buddie isn't about two guys who are just friends, it's about two men who have loved and supported one another for six years and we're about to watch that love turn into something even more profound in the coming seasons.

So yeah I probably won't post much about Tommy but if I do I'll try and tag anything as b*ck t*mmy for bl. The other reason I probably won't post about them is that it feels like every space in our fandom is getting swallowed up by this ship. It's just frustrating when all of the tags are full of Buck/Tommy.

I'm not trying to hate on people who ship them. I think everyone should be able to multi ship if they want or just ship whatever ships they like. I've been hated on many times for ships I like. But I do think those of us who just love Buddie shouldn't have to see Buck/Tommy 24/7 and definitely shouldn't have to see anti Buddie stuff.

I also want to say don't let anyone make you feel like shit if you're not super into Buck/Tommy. You can still love Buck and support him without gushing over him in a relationship with someone else. I hate when fandoms get this crowd mentality where if you think any differently you're told you’re a bad person. Just remember that the story the show is telling is leading towards Buddie canon eventually. So people can be excited over Buck and Tommy for now if they want but it’ll be Buddie in the end.

Also if you have Buddie or Eddie gif requests please let me know. I really want to see Buddie and Eddie back in the tags.

[meili-sheep]

So this is from our good friend 🐱 anon! And while this isn't like specifically harem, I'll probably cover the Harem and extras. And we'll start with Nation so

Mondstadt!

So Albedo. Would instantly start asking diluc questions and start performing tests. For Hexenzirkel Mom Diluc, Albedo probably tries to see if there is something from Diluc's mother at play. Probably test Klee's strength as well, just to be safe. He probably starts looking for a connection between pyro energy and physical prowess as well. So he would have a rather mundane reaction and just go into him being well Albedo.

Now for Eula. She's probably heard about former Captain crazy strength but most likely dismissed it, thinking it was just an exaggeration. Then he flips a fucking Ruin Grader. She probably has just a moment. I mean, I can't blame her, though. I'd need one too. Specially because right after, he'd go into sweetheart mode and start asking if she's ok. And generally acting very sweet and kind despite the fact HE JUST FLIPPED A FUCKING RUIN GRADER. Of course, after such an embarrassment like this, she will need a little revenge and make sure Diluc knows who's top dog.

Now main ships outta the way, let's talk about Venti. Because you can't tell me that either Ragnvindr or the Red-Haired warrior could do the same thing. And it's something Venti rather casually forgot. In general, he forgets that Diluc is his equivalent to Zhongli's General Alatus, like if Xiao was more chaotic and had an issue with authority. And Flipping a Ruin Grader would be a very good reminder for Venti.

Moving on, I also want to briefly mention Rosaria and Kaeya. Mostly because Rosaria knows Diluc has a lot of surprises, but she was not expecting that. And Kaeya. He's been dealing with this bull since they were kids, so just them at the bar, and Rosaria is just still stunned.

"He flipped. A whole. Ruin Grader..."

"Really? Glad he's still in condition then."

"Huh? What do you."

"I once saw him hug a boar when we were kids... He hugged it so hard he broke the poor thing's ribs. And would not stop crying about it."

Liyue

Starting with Zhongli. He'd probably have the most normal reaction out of everyone, and that's probably because. Zhongli sees himself as a normal human, or he wants to. So weird like that he is very used to playing it off as normal human things. He really does applaud Diluc's form, though. Probably makes some suggestions.

Now to Xiao. This would really be a heartthrob moment for Xiao, tbh. And he's gonna deny it like his life depends on it. Like NO It definitely wasn't hot that his human boyfriend flipped a whole ruin grader over his shoulder! Definitely not! And he still probably frets over Diluc after words and makes sure he didn't get injured.

So Yelan is getting put here because I see her and Ningguang and friends of Diluc. I particularly see them as members of the underground network. And Diluc doesn't report to either. He respects them a lot. They both would be incredibly impressed, but here is the thing with these two. They see Diluc as their "cute" junior. So despite having taken down a Ruin grader with his bare hands, he now gets cooed at by these two women telling him how proud they are. It's embarrassing but he can't do anything but take it.

Now on to the others. And here is my favorite underrated dynamic, Diluc and Yanfei. She is his lawyer, and no one can tell me otherwise. They are both the more serious of the Pyros and the only ones who can control the chaos. But ummm. Yanfei forgets Diluc is also chaotic. And after seeing him flip a Ruin Grader, She probably starts working on a damage claim argument centering around Diluc being unable to control his ridiculous strength. She did end up using it. and it did keep Diluc out of jail.

Inazuma

Thoma, much like Kaeya, grew up with Diluc's bull. So he isn't really surprised when he sees Diluc flips a ruin grader but probably offers him a snack or something afterward, making sure he's ok and didn't strain himself or anything.

Now I'm putting Ayato and Ayaka together. Because, well, I imagine that Ayaka is constantly dealing with a love-struck brother. And this would be another case. And this would be a case where Ayato would start in on how of course, Diluc is the strongest because Ayato only like the best of the best and has the most incredible tastes, and Diluc is simply the greatest. And Ayaka is in shock that a human can even do that, and everything her brother is saying is just going in one here and out the other. As she just sits there stunned and makes a mental note to make sure no one upsets Master Diluc.

So Itto is a hype man. And this would send him into overdrive. While his whole gang is just stunned, they just have to go along with what Itto it telling them because, well. That guy just took down a ruin grader barehanded. Like yeah, Itto can do that. But he's an oni... but Diluc... Diluc's just supposed to be a regular guy.

But after the shock wears off. They totally join Itto in the hype team and praise Diluc to the sun and back. He is very embarrassed about it all and well.

Sumeru

Al Haitham. You can't tell me it doesn't work out like he does it mostly to stay healthy. But he's probably stronger than people give him credit for. But seeing Diluc do that...

That's a whole different level. He probably pulls a little bit of an Albedo and goes into investigative mode. But, um, a little more creepy and just watches Diluc in his daily routine. Probably ends up coming to the conclusion that Diluc... mostly likely has some supernatural ancestry that he's managed to inherit and levels it there.

Kaveh. He'd nearly have a heart attack. Like he would deal with it in phases.

Stunned silence.

horny

realization of horny

a bit of shame about the horny a bit of embarrassment about the horny

acceptance of the horny

simp

So as the newest Bully Memeber, I gotta put Tighnari here. And let me say he would go mildly Albedo but then start probably going feeding Diluc weird plants and testing them with Diluc's strength. And they would become a chaotic NIGHTMARE.

Now Dehya is another Big Sis I give to Diluc. And I can not tell you how proud she would be. I mean, she would instantly suplex him to assert dominance, but that's ok She's still proud.

[katyspersonal]

Finally deleted all of his music tracks from my devices. Surprised that there were so many.. and frustrated that one of them I helped to edit and three of them exist only thanks to me, too.

When we first split it was because I wasn't able to take all the abuse, belittling and neglect anymore. He was trying his hardest to convince me that I needed him and my life would be ruined if I left him, but when I was unyielding and stood on the ground that even that would be better than taking it any longer, the mask finally cracked and he begged me to not go admitting it was his life that'd be meaningless without me.. I still left him, because I could tell he hated me as a person but convinced himself that no one else would "tolerate and accept" him. If I had a nickel for every time I became too close with this kind of man I'd have two nickels blablabla

I still sorta watched from the shadows through a shared friend. I hate forcing my friends to cut ties with my abusers if they seek help and try to improve.. and he did. Past the point he escaped his own abusive house (we talk 'his own brother tried to kill him and his mom never cared and blamed him' level), he started to learn and improve, and more importantly, found new friends! It is crucial that this sort of people has a network of people that can scold them instead of latching on the first person with 0 self-respect! I could see the improvement, and a lot of that was owed to that shared friend.

But what really held me was his music. Regardless of everything he said and did in the past, there was unmistakable sincerity in his music. I was always thinking, "a bad person could not write this". There was a person with very keen and tender feelings in it, the one ruined and led astray by bad events and people. I think that no matter how much this wretched world corrupts people, the person they were meant to be had the living not been so cursed can yet live in their creativity.

I returned in the end, after a long time. And things were better, really. This time, though, he was the one to throw me away like trash over a really dumb conflict he started. Despite everything, I still haven't learned to stay away from kind of people that separates people between 'people' and 'NPCs'. I just... let them single me out as 'special'. And let myself get attached even though it should be obvious that this special treatment only lasts until I meet these expectations. That the "I like how you always have your opinion and can disagree" is only until I disagree on their terms. That "I want you to be honest, no matter how ugly the truth is" is only until that ugly truth is the part of their twisted self-image as a tragic, self-vindicating figure. And the worst part is that while me and him were apart, I was in close proximity with a shockingly similar person. They basically were like twins.

I don't know where I was going with this vent. But I can't forgive just being thrown away after so many promises of helping. It now feels like he never wanted to be friends again after all, but just felt in debt and needed to "compensate" to me to be a good person. So as soon as like, one moment made me "a woke NPC" I was no longer entitled to compassion. I should stay away from people that sees "us or them", but at the same time people who don't do that are lazy pacifist fence-sitters with no ideals... who are the right people to stick with, then? At the very least, I no longer care about his music, or feel any sentimental value to anything he's done now.

[ritunn]

A Brief History of the Illusion Fox Pokemon: Zorua & Zoroark

Recently I remembered the existence of Zoroark, Master of Illusions, the last Pokemon movie of the D&P era and essentially the segway into starting the B&W era in the Pokemon anime. This led down a rabbit hole of Zorua and Zoroark history in the Pokemon franchise from their first apperance in the movie to their release in Black and White. Let us start with the movie however which has a notable feature.

Zoroark, Master of Illusions is notable for the fact that it was the first Pokemon movie to receive a PG-12 rating in Japan and one of the few pieces of media in the Pokemon franchise with a PG rating in North America. Why did it receive that rating? Well first I should summarize the plot.

Zoroark, Master of Illusions follows Zoroark and Zorua, two Pokemon who've been abducted from their home region of Unova and brought to Crown City. There, a man named Grings Kodai practically rules since he has total control of the news media and is also a rich stock broker who got this way via THE ABILITY TO SEE INTO THE FUTURE.

Kodai did this by absorbing a time warp left by the mythical Pokemon Celebi a few decades ago, causing the collapse of the entire ecosystem in the city as a result by literally killing off all plant life in the area. The city eventually rebuilt but no one realized he was the one responsible for it, so he rose in power. Now, Kodai's powers are fading and since he's a capitalist, he's more than willing to decimate the local plantlife again to get his future sight back and he knows another warp will appear soon thanks to it. However, he needs a distraction, thus he captured Zoroark and Zorua and threatened to murder Zorua (who is Zoroark's child) if she did not comply. Zorua however escapes and ends up in the hands of Ash and the gang. But, Kodai's plan has only just begun.

Zoroark still doesn't want her child to die, so Kodai manipulates her into creating illusions of the 3 guardian Pokemon of the city, Entei, Raikou, and Suicune who Kodai set up as coming to the city for a special event. Zoroark then makes these illusions rampage and makes it looks like she is controlling the 3 legendary Pokemon, thus allowing Kodai to convince the police to put the city on lockdown and evacuate civilians as Zoroark wrecks havoc. Using this as cover, he searches for Celebi and another time rift to consume. For the rest of movie, Ash and the gang work with a journalist who figured out Kodai is corrupt and tries to stop him from killing all the plant life again. Surprisingly, Ash and the gang sort of take a backseat with the focus being on Zorua (who can transform into a little boy or Dawn if he wants to make her hate him) and his mother, Zoroark. However, some pretty dark things end up happening for a Pokemon movie.

These include but are not limited to:

Zorua being nearly electrocuted to death by Kodai when Zoroark turns against him and accepts his fate to die. All while Celebi cries out that he's killing him in tears.

Celebi nearly being choked to death by Kodai.

Kodai actually just literally killing Zoroark. There's a moment with Zorua trying to wake up her lifeless corpse and being traumatized that his mother died. Celebi however uses their mythical god Pokemon powers to just bring her back to life.

In the manga, Kodai also just dies ala Gaston as Zorua tricks him with his illusions to stumbling off a very tall building. In the anime however, he's arrested as he accidentally confesses to all his crimes on his own news network and Ash and the gang give him death glares as they force him to watch him ruin his own empire.

In the end however, everyone lives happily ever after! Zorua and Zoroark return to Unova and Ash says farewell to his friends. With that out of the way, one might wonder how you actually obtain the witty illusion foxes in Black and White. A lot of people thought Zoroark would be broken in comp after all due to its Illusion ability (until team view was announced as a new addition) and it's just cool in general. It got a whole movie after all! Well that's a bit difficult actually.

During the movie release, you could acquire level 30 shiny versions of Raikou, Entei, and Suicune (who do actually show up in the movie as non-illusions after the plot has basically been finished), along with a Celebi through events or seeing the movie when it released. Why this is important however is because Zorua and Zoroark were two new Pokemom introduced in gen 5. But during gen 5, you were incapable of actually catching them in normal gameplay.

You see, to get Zorua, you had to have Celebi in your party. From there you could speak to two kids, one of which was actually the Zorua from the movie disguised like a young boy! Seeing you were friends with his ol' chum, Celebi, his human friend notes he wants to enter into a spare pokeball if you have one and then joins you if you have room in your party for him. Even if you missed the event, if you had a Celebi from older events, you could just use that one... Zoroark on the other hand.

You see, Zoroark requires you have one of the 3 shiny legendary guardians from the event compared to any old Celebi you may have acquired in previous games or the new event. If you do however, Zoroark is found in a little trailer home outside of the Lostlorn Forest but you wouldn't notice at all if you hadn't learned of this event as she is disguised as a normal mute woman. A camper who tried to talk to her notes she's strange but seems nice, but if you bring one of the event legendaries listed above, Zoroark will get very mad and try to attack you, appearing as the legendary guardian with her Illusion ability that best counters the one you lead with. This also shows that Zoroark has PTSD from what happened in Crown City and you catch her by bringing back those memories. Pretty sure that makes you a bad person.

All of this together means that without the event, Zorua and Zoroark are completely unobtainable in the game without access to trading, effectively making them sort of pseudo-legends when they first released. Gamefreak would later do a special event however to get a level 50 Zoroark from Mystery Gift during Zoroark month in 2011 however (which is September). In B&W2, you can acquire a Zorua fairly early on from retired Team Plasma members that belonged to N originally, making it the first time it was available outside of events in Pokemon history, but still impossible to catch in the wild in the generation it was introduced in. In fact it wouldn't be until gen 6 in Pokemon X&Y that you could catch Zoroark for the first time in the wild in the Pokemon Village and in Pokemon ORAS that you could catch Zorua for the first time on Route 101 all without the use of in-game events. It wouldn't be until USUM that you could catch both in the wild in the same game for the first time, 7 years after its introduction.

These days, Hisuian Zorua and Zoroark are easily obtainable in PLA and their Unovan versions are found in S&V (though disguised as other Pokemon, a really cool mechanic honestly), which makes it trivial to obtain one for new players. Which I quite appreciate myself, even if I have 5 of them from my years playing. If you want to be stylish however, you can acquire a Shiny Baneful Fox mask clothing item in PLA via Mystery Gift! Goes great with shiny Zoroark.

Speaking of PLA, with its release came Zorua's second big anime feature in Hisuain Snow!

The short trilogy follows Alec who's just arrived in Hisui with his father, however after a fateful encounter with a shiny Hisuian Zorua, the two grow closer together and their friendship is built and tested as his father and Zorua's mother searches for the pair. You can watch the episodes all on YouTube! It's a cute series about the usual bonds between Pokemon and human with beautiful animation and a somewhat sad yet hopeful ending.

That however is a brief look into the history of Illusion Fox Pokemon, Zorua and Zoroark. I hope you enjoyed and I hope you give your own Zorua and Zoroark a lot of love... they honestly need it with how the series has treated them.

[sburbian-sage]

you’ve BEEN SPEWING A LOT OF NONSENSE, BUT THE THING i actually FIND most OFFENSIVE IS HOW BADLY YOU UNDERSTAND OUR TIMELINE, TO THE POINT OF NOT EVEN UNDERSTANDING THAT WE’VE NOT ACTUALLY TOLD YOU OUR NATIVE CLASSPECTS. so LET ME CORRECT THAT FOR YOU SINCE YOU’RE TOO UNOBSERVANT TO PICK UP ON THE IMPLICATIONS WHEN i say THINGS LIKE “EACH [SESSION] SINCE”.

session 1: this SESSION WAS JUST US. i was THE bard OF time, HE WAS THE prince OF space.

session 2: he CONTACTED YOU FOR THE FIRST TIME. this WAS ABOUT A YEAR AGO. i was THE witch OF hope, HE WAS THE mage OF rage. he TURNED EVERYONE AGAINST ME HALFWAY THROUGH THE SESSION, THANKS TO YOUR MEDDLING.

session 3: i was THE scout OF void, HE WAS THE guide OF light. i’m basically NOT ABLE TO DO ANYTHING, AS HE CORRUPTS OUR COPLAYERS WITH NONSENSE ARGUMENTS ABOUT RACISM AND THE “VALUE OF DESTRUCTION” AND FALSE EQUIVALENCIES WITH DERSE DREAMERS AND SO ON, BEFORE i have THE CHANCE TO EVEN SPEAK WITH THEM.

session 4: i was THE page OF mind, HE WAS THE knight OF heart. again, i’m unlucky, HE’S AWAKE AND i’m asleep UPON SESSION ENTRY, AND HE TURNS THEM AGAINST ME BEFORE i can DO ANYTHING.

session 5: i finally FIND YOU, AND CONTACT YOU. the SESSION HAS JUST STARTED. i’m the ward OF life, AND HE IS THE heir OF doom. i’m sure THAT DESPITE HIS WORDS, HE’LL CUT ME OUT OF THE GAME AGAIN. i’ve had A LITTLE MORE LUCK TALKING TO MY COPLAYERS, BUT WHO KNOWS HOW LONG that’s GOING TO LAST.

anyway, i just WANT TO TAKE A MOMENT TO POINT OUT HOW UNFAIR YOU’RE BEING TO ME. you DISMISSED FAMILIAR THEORY OUT OF HAND, UNTIL SOMEONE ELSE SPOON-FED IT TO YOU, BECAUSE YOU’RE BIASED AGAINST ME. don’t YOU SEE WHAT HE’S DONE? you’ve BARELY SPOKEN WITH ME, AND YET YOU THINK i’m crazy.

and ON THE TOPIC OF FAMILIAR THEORY… you SEE NOW, HOW i was RIGHT? he *was* MY FAMILIAR. now, YOU MAY SAY THAT “TAMING” HIM WAS THE WRONG WAY TO LOOK AT IT, BUT DON’T YOU SEE HOW THINGS GO WHEN HE’S UNCHECKED? he ADMITS THAT HE DOES THE SAME THINGS TO ME, RELEGATING ME TO JUST OUR OWN LAND, AND MAKING EVERYONE FEAR AND HATE ME! mercy WAS NEVER AN OPTION, IT WAS ALWAYS GOING TO BE ABOUT WHO STRIKES FIRST, AND HARDEST.

on THAT NOTE, SADLY, SLAUGHTERING HIS DREAMSELF ISN’T AN OPTION. my EVENTUAL PREDOMINATION IS NEARLY ASSURED ANYWAY, AND IF THE FEW SCANT STORIES ON THE NETWORK ARE TO BE BELIEVED, A FORCED EARLY VICTORY WOULD STUNT MY GROWTH PERMANENTLY. when i FINALLY SUBSUME HIM, IT WILL BE THE PROPER WAY, AND WHEN i finally FIND A WAY TO ESCAPE THIS GAME, MY BODY WILL NOT BE RUINED, AND i will ACHIEVE MY GLORIOUS ADULT FORM. thankfully, GOD TIERING HAS CAUSED NO PROBLEMS. which IS ODD, AS I’VE HEARD TELL THAT IT WAS INDEED SUPPOSED TO TRIGGER THE SUBSUMPTION, OR AT LEAST HAS FOR OTHER CHERUBS.

…finally, i hesitated TO BRING THIS UP, BUT SINCE YOU MENTIONED KNITTING AND HE didn’t BRING IT UP, i think HE MAY HAVE SOMETHING TO HIDE. so i’m going TO SAY IT.

jujus. we HAVE THEM. i’ve a BALL OF YARN, DYED THE SAME BRIGHT GREEN AS MY BLOOD. he HAS A MATCHING ONE IN THE RED OF HIS OWN, THOUGH i’ve never SEEN IT. it IS MY UNDERSTANDING THAT THEY DO SOMETHING SPECIAL WHEN UNITED, BUT OF COURSE NEITHER OF US WOULD EVER TRUST THE OTHER WITH OUR OWN.

i am CURIOUS. did YOU GUESS SOMEHOW? did HE TELL YOU PRIVATELY ABOUT THEM? it SEEMS TOO SUSPICIOUS A COINCIDENCE THAT YOU BROUGHT UP KNITTING IF YOU DIDN’T KNOW.

Okay okay, back up. I'm about to live up to my title and arbitrate this drama with a healthy degree of suspicion towards all parties involved.

First thing's first, curb your paranoia. The only avenue in which I've communicated with your brother was in the public forum of these anonymous asks. I barely get private messages, even though I leave those channels open. The knitting thing was just me being a smarmy dismissive asshole (I've never denied those allegations), and unless you think he used his Rage powers to brainwash me in a public anonymous message, there's another reason for why I seem to predisposed against you. And it's because you're acting like a deranged nutjob.

I dismissed Familiar Theory out of hand when you brought it up, and accepted it when someone else brought it up, because the second person explained what it was, whereas you just namedropped it. You'll note that I'm recalcitrant about rumors and information I have yet to verify, to the point where even now you'll notice I only "accepted" Familiar Theory insofar as it sounds a lot like a parapsychological coping mechanism of sorts. Similarly, you'll note that I've been more hostile to you than to your brother, because his messages have been pretty thoughtful and considerate IMO (he cares more about your wellbeing than you seem to care about his), while you've been rantposting at me. I'm not even doing the "all caps is always screaming" misconception, I've been around the block when it comes to typing quirks, you're just spitting outright venom at me and everyone involved. Call me shallow for it, but I will in fact be negatively inclined towards people who act like assholes in my inbox, and will be more positively inclined towards people who are not. Another thing I very much do not appreciate, in fact, is Player Killers, and you seem like one in the making, sis. Between noting that you "sadly" can't kill him in his sleep because it would negatively affect you, and how your ultimate goal seems to be the outright destruction of his personality. When, keep in mind, he specifically messaged me asking for a way to help make sure you don't get completely dominated like what you want to do to him.

I wouldn't trust you as far as I could throw you, my Mangrit has never been all that impressive, but I'll humor you and say "I believe you when you say that your brother is trying to isolate you from all of the coplayers in your session". You need to provide me with an argument for why this is even a bad thing. All of your arguments thus far has been "he's evil" when you seem like the wingnut here, and "you're so foolish with your compassion and anti-racism", which, pardonne-moi for not being eager to gormlessly swallow that. I will admit, the thought did cross my mind that he could be presenting a false "softboi in need of aid" persona, and you're telling the truth and just so happen to be objectively terrible at talking to people in general. But you understand that even in this framework where your brother IS evil, the dynamic goes from "asshole sister attempts to kill innocent brother" to "sister and brother are both assholes trying to kill each other", right? Even if I accept what you're saying is true, the only thing that changes is that the most evil iteration of your brother is the same as you. And I've never been a fan of "the morality of an action is determined by who performs the action".

Hell, I'll even humor you on the other point. He's destructive and evil by nature, you're creative and benevolent by nature. My eyes beg to differ, but I do have an anecdote to share about the other species who play SBURB. Consider it a bit of an interracial get-to-know-each-other activity. Human nature has been a philosophical topic so thoroughly discussed that not even Prototype Towers could contain all the debates held about it. In the society I came from, the ruling classes believed that human nature was, more or less, evil, and they needed to humor certain aspects while stamping out others. Expand territory outwards, slaughter and subjugate everyone in the way, it's a genetic tendency. Accumulate infinite resources, even as you exploit man and the planet to do so, even as the resources lose all meaning and they keep pooling into smaller and smaller hands. You can never change society for the better, all claims to compassion are false, the cries of those who just want to put the people on bottom up top, so we should let kings and capitalists rule because they're honest in their cruelty. All those people are dead now. The survivors, SBURB players, succeed because they know how to grow the fuck up, introspect, and work together with other coplayers as equals to make everyone better versions of themselves, even as they bleed and die in pursuit of this goal. The Hemospectrum Trolls subscribe to, I've been told, is also as natural as breathing and dying. The highbloods, with their cool-shaded blood, psionic fortitude, physical strength, and long lives, have their superiority flowing through their veins, the short-lived shitbloods just need to know their place. But as it turns out, psionic powers are fucking awesome, lifespan doesn't mean anything anymore, and the ones who try to enforce a hemo-supremacist hierarchy on the session are doomed to failure, either because it doesn't stick, or because they try to force it and get killed in self-defense. Your conceptions and moral justifications are based in biology and cultural mythos, I assume? You'd think a replayer with five sessions tucked into her belt would have enough maturity to recognize arbitraity when it's elbow-dropping her off of a rooftop, but stranger things have happened. If you're so mentally submissive as to uncritically accept all of that as truth, then maybe you're not the one who's victory is "eventual". Food for thought.

But to cut all the crap short, and do away with all the hostility, I don't actually think you being erased, socially or metaphysically, is a good thing. Your brother doesn't either, which is why he reached out last time. I normally wouldn't waste my breath trying to make appeals towards potential PKers who have already written off other's right to live, but you seem pretty impotent from where I'm standing. By your own admission, you've been on a 3-4 year losing streak in terms of "getting people to like you". And I will admit, for all I know your brother could be lying about his intentions. I have two stories in front of me who don't seem to outwardly contradict one another, outside of who is framed as the villain in each, and I don't have enough information to make an objective arbitration. What I do know is that your brother's narrative is that he doesn't want you dead and buried, while in both of your narratives, you want the same to him. I would advise "apologize and make friendly with him" in either case, whether because you're in the wrong or because you're losing and should pragmatically accept whatever scraps of mercy you can afford. Putting aside the overtly menacing crazyspeak about "eventual predomination", "taming", and the other will to power shit is also advisable, both in terms of mutual understanding with your brother and also not immediately alienating anybody you talk to, because it instinctively sets off red flags for everybody who isn't you, it seems. I pegged your brother as the socially awkward, doesn't know how to talk to people sort, but I unfortunately think you're much the same. I gave him confidence and told him to work on his people skills, as you know, so maybe take the same advice. At the very least, fake it until you make it.

[seer918]

Comparing Megaman robot masters to Megaman Battle Network netnavis part 3

okay not gonna lie I’ve got a bit of a migraine forming so gonna do my best to be brief and quick with this one

First up is Needleman and Needleman.exe

Classic looks like a retrofitted Airman but oddly enough I kinda prefer it this time. Force gem or whatever the random glowey bits on robot masters are called is in a weird spot but it’s not too be a detraction

.EXE looks like a png-tuber who complains about the problems of forced diversity. Dreamworks smirk looking headass. Also weirdly enough in the anime they gave this navi to a (relatively) fleshed out version of the twin sister of the teacher character. Not putting that towards the score but figured that was neat (also Ms Yuri can step on my thro-)

Point (eheh) in favour of the Robot Masters, giving us a score of 11-6

Next is Magnet Man and MagnetMan.EXE

Classic is...kinda bare bones with the idea. Looks like someone in a bootleg Magneto cosplay.

While the chest of .EXE being another, larger magnet along with the magnet helmet, I do like the kind of studded look to it, Gives it a kind of knuckleduster look to it which while not matching the initial theme matches with him being less of a partner to his user and more of a bodyguard/hired muscle. I also like the fact they gave him a sort of brother/copy in blue for his signature North-South Tackle

Point to the navis, giving them double the RM’s score with 12-6

Skipping GeminiMan and HardMan we have TopMan and TopMan.exe

...I really do not see how any robots, even a Mettaur, could follow TopMan even with the RobotMaster tech

Meanwhile I have a big soft spot for this gaming geezer. The video I’m ripping o-I mean was inspired by mentioned how TopMan.exe looking like his owner was a ‘problem’ with a lot of navi but I love it. It also makes the theming work a bit more, with the owner being a crotchety toy maker.

Unlucky for the Robot Masters, it’s now 13-6

Ssssslithering into frame is SnakeMan and SnakeMan.exe

SnakeMan is probably my favourite design from 3, even if it’s relatively goofy.

I vaguely remember being creeped out by SnakeMan.exe in the anime, despite its clown vomit of a colour scheme. The arms at the back of the head kind of make it awkward. I feel like if they appeared in their own jars it’d work a bit better. Also the...flames(?) so SnakeMan.exe can actually move seem a bit out of place.

Point in favour of the robot masters, 13-7

Next up, SparkMan and SparkMan.exe

...I’m gonna be completely honest I have nothing to say for either case.

The lighter orange and addition of yellow to make it read more at a glance it’s a electric boss is alright, but leg down by the adition of green

...I’m calling it a tie. Maybe it’s the headache or the fact I do not have an attachment for either design but I’m just so...apathetic.

14-8

And finally for this batch, ShadowMan and ShadowMan.exe

Now these are ssome damn good designs!

The classic’s night sky blue armour referencing the real life ninja uniforms (the all black ones were more of a theatre thing) along with the sorta...I forget the right word but fishnet ‘undershirt’ is a big plus for me. And while I’d argue the pure white parts ruin the whole stealth idea...ehhh, it’s not like he’s stealthy in the game anyway, and his navi self’s not dressed for stealth.

But what he is dressed for is to look so damn cool. Strider levels of oversized scarf, purple will always get you bonus points with me, and the legs looking like the tradition sandal look

...this is another tie but I genuinely think that these two are 10/10 designs that are just two different looks of the same theme.

Which ends this post with the score being 15-9. Genuinely surprised at how close it’s been so far.

Since I’ve got some shifts coming up, I probably won’t be posting again until Sunday at least...or who knows maybe I’ll surprise even myself. Cioa ‘til then

[undercoverxs]

((TRYING TO WRITE MY KAZUI THEORY AND TUMBLR DELETES IT. UNFAIR.

Whatever. Hi. This man baffles the mind but I wanted to get down my thoughts on him before his s2 song drops. I'm gonna skip over providing evidence cuz I'm not writing all that shit again. If you want elaborations just ask!!

S1 Kazui theory below & if I'm far enough off base I will die in a parking lot!!

-

The details of the actual events are muddy and I'm scared, and not the main point of my analysis anyway, skip below for the juicier stuff, but my theory goes as follows

He and his wife get married, all is fun and lovely

Kazui is a liar boy tm. more on that later.

She starts feeling distant and sad :(

He pursues his career. in the process he meets Bar Lady

As he does this, he's spending noticeably less time with wife. She doesn't know what's going on. It adds to the worries she's already fostered, watching him lie through their marriage and all.

Networking with Bar Lady becomes vital for his growth in Career(tm)

He doesn't cheat on his wife. (at least not emotionally? Things might have escalated, but I don't think he fell for her. The way he acts is cordial. He wears his ring blatantly. If it did escalate, it's probably because she wanted it to, and he didn't see a problem with it because he didn't actually love her. It's a chess move.)

He tells his wife about it. "I've failed before when prioritizing emotions. I'll never act on my feelings ever again." -- I think he either started feeling guilty and confessed, or his 'networking' worked and got him an impressive gig, and he told her in excitement.

As said, she's been watching his tendencies for a long time now. Worrying for their relationship, trying to communicate but getting nothing out of him. She might even have started worrying that something is wrong with her? He always acts like the perfect man, and never shows the dark underbelly that humans have- worrying about her own troubles next to his 'perfection' isn't out of he question, in my opinion. But learning about this- straws and camels, you know

All that, and, or, it's possible that he did fall for the Bar Lady, whatever. Maybe he told wife he didn't love her anymore. Or maybe she told him she knew something was up with him, and he needed to sort himself out. Maybe wife died, maybe bar lady died, maybe he died. I can't claim to know exactly what went down, what I really want to tackle is how I think Kazui approaches life

That is, it's all a play. All of it.

Growing up, and becoming a 'good, responsible adult' -- This is something he idealized, internalized, obsessed over, and acted out as perfectly as he could manage.

And that's the problem. He's never not thinking about his role in society, even here, in the minor 'society' of this prison-- He's so focused on this role of his, but he never actually understood what goes on behind the scenes of a 'good, responsible adult'.

It became a matter of ignoring every emotion. And his fatal flaw, as he sees it-- what killed another, and what ruined the 'perfect life' he was achieving, was emotion. He 'dared to dream' -- I interpret this lament of his as being about his career, aspiring for 'bigger and better' rather than settling for the average 'pays-the-bills' kind of work that a typical 'responsible adult' might do.

That, and speaking to his wife honestly for the first time about it. Imagining that he could bring a bit of truth into this 'picture-perfect marriage' , reveal a bit of what laid behind his curtain, get emotional, just a little, and that- as far as he can tell- leading to her death. When we affirmed him, it affirmed these ideas-- So he still has yet to wrap his head around exactly what had happened.

In his mind, lies are good. Normal. Everybody does it.

Emotions are useless. Remorse is useless. Things like that only bring about pain.

In the preview of "Cat", he seems frustrated-- Of course he is, because the worldview he was assured is right just doesn't line up with reality. The fact of that has been brought front and center through milgram, and some part of him understands, on some level, that lying as much as he does isn't good. It's killed someone. But he doesn't know the first thing about how to cope with that, to even accept that, really-- and I think being told he's 'forgiven' has only worsened his ability to make sense of it.

Right now, while he's trying to act unbothered and be a rock for the younglings, I think he's actually feeling very frustrated and confused. But as he does, as he always does, he suppresses and ignores it until milgram yanks it from the depths of his heart.

-

one more note, since I'm not sure where to smoothly fit it- I can't say I'm convinced he actually loves his wife. He seems to care a great deal about her, has fun with her, and maybe thinks he loves her? Maybe. But proper love, the kind that she deserved, is something that he just can't grasp with his current approach to emotions.

I also think it's very possible that he only married her because it's 'what you do'. The ideal image of an adult, in his mind, is married. He liked her enough to play house... But for her to go and die, and plunge his life into all this-- While I think he might be genuinely grieving, at least a little, he still seems to be kind of cold about it? Hard to tell amidst his lying habits, but I wouldn't put it past him to sort of blame her for his current situation. Everything was going to script until she up and died, after all.

Can't say for sure if he's that dark, but I wouldn't be surprised either way, is what I'm saying.

.

All in all, though-- Life is a play. Everything follows a tried and true script.

Going off-script is something that always has- but especially now- left him baffled, lost, and very scared.

I think he's going to cling to his role with everything he has, until Milgram has not only ripped away his mask, but torn it to a thousand pieces.

[crackinglamb]

Passage from chp. 63 of Wicked Game:

A thin waterfall fell from somewhere in the darkness above their heads, filling in a nearly perfect bowl shaped pool at the bottom. It steamed faintly like a hot spring, filling the area with a gentle fog. Clear glass globes were set into the rocks that he brought to life with a wave of his hand. In the farthest reach of the cave, she saw a shattered Eluvian, the frame now overgrown with moss. This wasn't just a safehouse, this was a remnant of Elvhenan lost to time just like so much else.

“Oh, Solas,” she breathed. He stood at her side with his jaw clenched as he looked over the space. Once it must have been beautiful, a tiny hidden grotto. She could see where plants must have grown, where the walls were once decorated. The images were so faded that she couldn't even pick out what they might have been. The Eluvian frame was small, just the right size to let people walk through it from wherever it originated. “What was it for?”

*bonk bonk* 😘

*bonk bonk* 😘 Oh, this scene...

(Let's see, it was posted in Nov '21, the headspace was very different than it is now.)

There are a lot of times when I remark that I'm not the one in charge of this story, I'm just the narrator. This was one of them. I wanted to set a scene up for Imogen and Solas where they could relate to each other, in terms of grief for things lost.

There's a lot happening in this section of WG - preparing for WEWH, a recent brush with the reality of what she's gotten herself into with Solas, all the sidequests between big Main Plotline Arcs - and tbh, I'd almost forgotten entirely that the Inq has to go to Crestwood to meet up with Hawke and the Warden contact. It was getting lost in the shuffle and I scrambled a bit to make this fit.

It actually started with Solas's network. All the nitty gritty of spies and agents and keeping them hidden in plain sight. (Thus the earlier bit with the literal cloak and daggers.) A natural progression of the worldbuilding was using the available terrain for safehouses/hiding spots, since there are few actual structures in that map that are still standing or aren't already inhabited by humans. But that area is riddled with caves. Huzzah! The setting!

Then to put a painful twist on it. Keeping in mind that Solas woke from uthenera, then immediately threw himself into his plans and then the Conclave explosion...he hasn't seen much of his current network in person. He doesn't know how much it's changed. He's still coming to terms with how much the world has changed. I wanted the reveal to be a shock to him. And of course, being in Imogen's POV, the reader sees it through her eyes first. She still sees the beauty in it, the fall from grace that nevertheless shows the backbone that went into it originally. But she's fully aware that to him, it's broken. A ruin. A reminder of everything he did and what it cost.

And Imogen is in an adjacent boat (as opposed to the same one). She is also cut off from the world she knew, the people, the comforts. She can't go back either. She must live on in the full knowledge that her life will never be the same again. In this respect, she's more resilient than he is. Then again, she's only 32 compared to his [redacted]. So while he's stupefied with guilt and grief, she's already figuring out how to show him a different perspective, to make a new set of memories that are far happier.

There were like, four layers of symbolism and metaphor here. And at least one layer of irony (did you contemplate the cycle of change here, Solas? Did you?). And very deliberately so. I wanted this part to gut punch. Although for me, the real gut punch comes with the story she tells him of Earth.

Then it was just a matter of how to set the stage, as it were. Imogen wanted a shower, so a waterfall it was. Old magic and blending into the natural landscape and the sense of timelessness all came together in that grotto. The rest wrote itself.

From this post. Askbox is still open.

[hewholivesinhisname]

Reaching out to Jews and other thoughts.

I've tried to reach out to a few fellow Jews on here, but they basically ignore me. Figures. Most people are passive aggressive and there's a lot of Jews, let me tell you, they make a real artform out of it. Forming elaborate social structures and the like and then excluding you, then when you end up suffering, they act as if it's your fault.

O, it's god's will, don't you know?

That's the way of the world.

I'm pretty sure that there's a lot of people working together knowingly or unknowingly to hurt me. lots of spying, data gathering, shit like that. I would be totally depressed about it, but I know somewhere deep inside that I'm all-knowing and all-powerful. Whatever evil they throw at me they will pay dearly for.

The poor, the men in particular, you know. they just accept this, the way things are. But there's lots of little rays of hope. The other day on you can't stop progress I saw some guys were attacking some police officers and there's a bunch of abolish the police movements.

Now Daniel, daniel for some reason thinks that a guy like Donald Trump who supports the police who took his kid away from him and ruined is life is a good thing and I don't get it. Why would you support a guy who supports and wants to give a bunch of money to the guys and the justice system which is oppressing you?

For me it's very simple:

The police are my enemy.

Donald Trump is a big police supporter. He must think the police are doing a good job and wants an even bigger police state. so why would I support him. But with Daniel, I dunno, the guy falls for it. He is cheering for the guy who wants to lock him up and separate him from his kid.

I wonder if he'll read this blog and figure out why I don't like Trump which is simply that I think I've figured him out:

He tells the "right" EXACTLY what they want to hear, especially the men. They want a world where they can look up and see some strong powerful patriarchal figure keeping all the "bad guys" in check. Because that's kind of what and how Daniel sees the world. However, the problem is that the entire system is a lie and Daniel himself has been pegged as a bad guy. It's like as if the Joker were voting for batman or something and this has been how it's been with the poor for a very long time which is that they look up and they worship these guys like Trump.

Now, you would expect me to be all ra-ra for religion, but Marx has a point which is that many of the religions really fucking suck in that the masses refuse to go about fighting for what is good and right because they

Anyway, after I'm off this I'm going to go on Bdsmlr and look for #9- Kali. William Ho is 8 and he thinks he is god (he's Kronos btw).....and I guess in a way that he is a god. maybe not the god, but he has some divinity in him. He is a supernetworker and can network with anyone. It can just be a little annoying dealing with him because he got violent with me one time. I get a lot of people who are violent with me. Poor men are inherently seen as the "bad guy" and I think that I have a combination of a lot of traits that make it easy to hate me even though I'm a good person.

People in general do not want a "good person", what they want is to be rich. they want to be like the people above them who abuse them. they are more than a little lost inside. The priests will tell them the basic truth that their purpose is to work together under god, but they kind of tend to try to do anything but that a lot of the time.

If things keep going the way they are going then humanity is going to die off from the robots and AI. William himself is starting an AI company and there's a lot of companies that are replacing people with AI and robots or just starting up tech companies because "that's the future." I'm sure it's a con by Marika. It would be far better if she just admitted that she was controlling the economy and hired everyone, but that's not really the way she goes about things and she's not going to listen to me, at least right now.

So, I should go and finish with that. I could go into what 9 wants. I should, but I'm a little conflicted about it and for good reasons. suffice to say that she basically wants something of a bdsm paradise and that's probably basically close to the truth of the way it should be however I have a lot of grave concerns, especially surrounding children.

I mean, there's just a lot of child abuse out there. a lot. A lot of these secret societies, the guys give in to their sadistic urges and they are constantly raping and abusing their wives and children. Daniel and a lot of other kids are so horribly abused that they actually die a lot and have to be revived. And you know, there's just not a whole lot of societal awareness or anyone really working to do anything to protect these kids either. Neither are they protecting them from the brainwashing in the schools. They just assume that since they are rich kids or whatever that they are protected which is the furthest thing from the truth. And there's a lot of other kids that are victimized in this way too. It's in the schools and especially the churches too and they ESPECIALLY prey upon the young boys.

I don't know about the lesbians, but I suspect there's a bunch of lesbian and witch shit involved too for the young girls that no one wants to talk about either.

Whenever I'm confronted with sex, I feel like I'm confronted with a maze and I'm not quite sure how to navigate it all. I do know that sex is important though and probably a lot of sexual stuff is a lot more harmless than people make it out to be. Philosophically if some woman wants to go and fuck a horse or something, what is the big deal? Maybe she can marry the horse. If a banker goes around and destroys the environment and funds war and impovershes the population and funds prisons and stuff, that banker is causing a whole lot of misery without anyone's consent. I mean, technically maybe taking the loan out is with consent, but since everyone is fucking . With a lot of sex though, a lot of time the end result is the creation of new life, happiness and connection, with a lot of economic activity motivated by selfishness, the end result is completely the opposite and I don't think that it's a big surprise that a "secret" and predatory sexual culture with secret societies is connected to the current system. It's all based on lies, ignorance, obfuscation, victimization and destruction after all.

It's so bad that we don't even have a word for "loving women" or "loving men." You hear misogyny and misandry a lot, but you don't hear gynophelia or androphelia a lot. Why don't we hear that? Anthropophelia would be love of humans I guess. you don't hear that word a whole lot. do you?

Well, back to the Jews. Another word that you don't hear is "pro-semitism" or positivity about the Jews. Just a lot of anti-semitism and the Jews/Israelites in general are doing a lot of good things. they have big families for instance and tend to achieve great things in the secular world. Jews are at the front of social criticism and usually support multiculturalism more than anyone else.

So, even if my family hasn't supported me in many ways I have to support them at least and admit the good things they are doing in general which is a lot. Bernie Sanders, my hero there is Jewish and so are a lot of other great people such as Nietzsche and even Trump.

I want to take over and even though the Jews are technically idolaters since they worship Torah instead of God, you still have to love them for a lot of the things that they do and I need Zionism. Jewish supremacy can be a cloak for my own supremacy and in turn the Jews need things like American Supremacy, White supremacy and Patriarchy to cloak their activity although you also have to have all that identity politics and body/gene critical stuff too because my soul might be born into a black woman or a platypus or something. technically whatever body I'm born into everyone should probably be obeying or at least listening to me.

So, this post has been all over the place, but I guess that's me. lots of love to whoever is actually reading this and may you choose good, especially economic good over evil.

[steadybelieverpersona]

Ch.8: Abyss Mage, Hurdle, Empty Abode, and Light Guiding Ceremony

I'm a just continue with the Mondstat Arc since I put a poll but since I have a lot on my plate in my life I'm not gonna continue actually updating the story since I don't know what other things that will come up, yeah sorry

After time passed since what occurred at Starsnatch Cliff, everyone met up at the Dawn Winery to talk to Diluc to see what information he has gotten

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Diluc: The Abyss Order... Enemies of the human race. Even the underground networks rarely come across any information on them. With that said, it was a bit of a hassle, but I managed to dig up a few clues.

Venti: Really? That quickly? You really are well connected, Master Diluc.

Paimon: Come to think of it, Mr. Big Anemo God Barbatos — why exactly do you need the help of mere humans...?

Venti: Ahh... How do I put it... "The Seven" as people now know them, were once known as "The Seven Archons." Each archon presides over their own part of Teyvat. That is the role the archons play. Only in performing this duty can we attain power, but I don't like the idea of "ruling" Mondstadt — and I don't feel Mondstadt would really like it either.

Y/n: Basically, the people's faith twords their archon, gives their archon the power and strength that you know from history

Jean: "Go forth and establish a city of freedom without rule." We have not forgotten Barbatos' wish for Mondstadt.

Paimon: Jean... You're such a devotee! Maybe someone got a little too free and is just too lazy to care...

Y/n: Did your pea sized brain not understand Emergency food? *pouting*

Paimon: *stamers*

Venti: Ahh... However, it may have come to be... I haven't been back to Mondstadt for an extended period of time. Without a doubt, I am now the weakest archon among The Seven!

Aether: And yet you sound almost proud... Guess that's why you're god to the City of Freedom...

Venti: Aww, you flatter me.

Diluc: Oh, such a humble god... Is it a blessing or a curse?

Y/n: I think it's a blessing. Why would you think it's a curse?

Diluc: Let's get back to the topic at hand: the common enemy of all mankind. We have tracked the Abyss Mage to the vicinity of the winery.

Jean: I can not stress enough how important it is to not let it escape.

Aether: Let's hunt it down!

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After defeating the Abyss Mage

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Y/n: "I didn't like the fact that it was a Hydro Abyss Mage...."

Venti: Huh? What's this... After the Abyss Mage was defeated, a certain energy dispersed from its body... It seems that energy was being used to cut off the connection between me and Dvalin... Aether, do you know of Stormterror's Lair?

Aether: I think I've heard people talking about it in Mondstadt.

Venti: Of course. I believe the people of Mondstadt all know of it. After Dvalin woke up, he took the ancient ruins as his lair. As it was with the storms that previously cut Mondstadt off from the outside world, the entrance to the ruins is also sealed by a special barrier. But now, as the energy dispersed from the Abyss Mage, I was able to read the rhythmic flow of how the barrier's magic was woven. I must admit, it sounds even more horrendous than a chorus of hilichurls, but......It should be enough to let us break through the storm barrier and reach Stormterror's Lair.

Diluc: Which means we're going to confront Dvalin? I'm fine with that... Jean is the one who wishes to avoid any direct confrontation.

Jean: No. When there are no other options left, it is my responsibility to alter our course of action. If slaying him is our only choice, I will gladly become the knight that leads the charge.

Y/n: Fortunately, we have yet to need to go that far.

Diluc: Hmm?

Jean: By that, you mean...

Venti: She means that the Holy Lyre is not our trump card. Our real trump card? Aether, of course.

Paimon: Aether?

Aether: Is it because I purified the Teardrop Crystal?

Venti: Agreed. But you have a much more precious forte. The impurities in the tears and the curse that binds Dvalin belong to the same maleficent power. Which means...

Paimon: You Tone-Deaf Bard, don't you see how crazy this is? You've seen what Dvalin is like when he's ticked off! Aether will be swallowed whole before he even gets to lift a finger!

Diluc: ...Hey. Nice plan. It's worth a shot.

Jean: I am with you both, Honorary Knights!

Paimon: Ho~! So we just need to fight monsters from the abyss... and a dragon! No pressure or anything.

Diluc: Humans aren't without their strengths. Let's go.

Venti: And so... The epic actions of brave heroes finally leads to this eleventh hour.

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At the barrier of Stormterror's Lair

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Paimon: It's a storm barrier! It looks so dangerous...

Venti: Let me at it. Although this wooden lyre is all I have... I don't need the lyre to break through this kind of storm barri— Ah, wait, what is that?

A group of hilichurls appears

Jean: Enemy attack! Prepare yourselves!

Venti: The stage will need to be cleared before I can begin my performance. Generally speaking, such chores are not the concerns of the performer himself...

Jean: Wait. What's going on? Something's not right. There shouldn't be any hilichurl camps in the vicinity of Stormterror's Lair...

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Before anyone could land a hit, Y/n: threw multiple bubbles at the Hilichurls, causing them to struggle breathing and moving while at the same time summoning a huge wave that immediately engulfed the Hilichurls instantly killing them

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Y/n: Done!!!

Everyone else: ......"How the..."

Venti: Ahh... The hilichurls usually do not venture into areas with high elemental concentrations. It puts a heavy burden on their bodies.

Diluc: The Abyss Order must be manipulating them behind the scenes, yet they shouldn't have been able to determine that we would come. They're presumably spreading their forces to halt our plans.

Venti: Without further ado... I suppose I can play faster if my only audience is the wind.

Venti disperses the wind barrier by playing the lyre

Paimon: It actually opened! You're not entirely useless, Tone-Deaf Bard!

Jean: This is it. We are now entering Stormterror's Lair. Watch yourselves. Let's move.

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While approaching Stormterror's Lair

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Paimon: Looks like this is the front gate to Stormterror's Lair. The gate is enormous compared to us... But still, Paimon wonders how Dvalin gets in there with a body that huge?

Venti: He doesn't walk in. He flies in.

Paimon: ...Oh. Hmm, you do have a point.

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At the entrance

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Paimon: It's stuck.

Venti: It's stuck.

Paimon: Hey, check out that roof. Is there a giant hole in it?

Venti: Hmm... I suppose we could make use of that wind current.

Paimon: Let's make a detour then. Heading up!

Venti: Let's make a detour then. Heading up!

Paimon: Hmm... Do you think there will be Abyss Mages hiding in the ruins? Either way, if we do run into one, we will let the victorious Master Diluc do the—

Diluc: Do not underestimate them just because I have beaten one of them before. I'm not boasting. I'm simply saying there is more to the Abyss Order than a few mages.

Venti: Correct. That's why I tagged along, after all. Well, that — and also for your safety.

Aether: Why are you so diligent?

Venti: Ah, why am I so diligent? Too diligent for a poet, in fact!

Paimon: So says the person that made zero effort to search for the dragon tears and drank in the tavern all day! Paimon doesn't get it. What part of you is remotely diligent?

Y/n: Says the floating emergency food that wines all the time

Paimon: Hey!!!!

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When approaching the wind current

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Paimon: Look! A wind current. It might lead us to the top of the tower.

Y/n: Good idea

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At the top of Stormterror's Lair

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Venti: Oh, we can't advance any further. The ruins seem to be guarded by ancient seals.

Paimon: Is this the work of Dvalin?

Venti: No. These ruins were once part of an ancient city. Dvalin just happens to be nesting in these ruins for now. These ruins even predate the existence of The Four Winds. Mondstadt is a city without a ruler. However, before it was... It was ruled over by a tyrant. Anyway... I'll sing you that story when we have a chance in the future.

Diluc: The markings on this seal... If my archaeological knowledge is not mistaken, this appears to be a light actuator. If we retrieve and reintegrate all the parts, we should be able to get it working.

Jean: We should be close to completing the ceremony for this actuator. Let's put the last part back and see.

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After activating the actuator, a seal of the tower was taken off

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Venti: Looks like we're right. There are three more halos circling the tower...

Jean: Which means there are three more corresponding light actuators to activate. I can see one from here. The rest must be scattered within the ruins around here. Let's go find them.

Paimon: ...Why did Dvalin pick a place filled with puzzles and seals as his lair? Doesn't he get annoyed coming back home?

Venti: He doesn't walk in. He flies in.

Paimon: ...You do have a point.

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The rest of the activators were soon activated, the three remaining halos soon disappeared, unlocking the tower completely

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Paimon: It's done!

Y/n: It looks like that place leads deeper inside.

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[litcityblues]

Stargate SG-1 (Season 6 and What Came Before)

Okay, so Stargate SG-1 has been one of those shows that has floated in and out of my streaming cue for years now. I’ve never been able to get all the way through it– because there are ten seasons of the show, but last year (or possibly two years ago, COVID has ruined my sense of time) I decided that I was going to make a push to get all the way through it and this time, amazingly enough, I have, so far, gotten all the way to the end of Season 6.

This year (possibly) might be the year I get it done.

I've been trying to think about it: has there ever been a television show that has seamlessly picked up from the events of the movie that spawned as Stargate SG-1? For real, the pilot episode, Children of the Gods is brilliant television. When the Stargate (shuttered after the events of the movie) comes back to life and soldiers are kidnapped, they reactivate the team-- including O'Neal (Richard Dean Anderson) and Major Samantha Carter (Amanda Tapping) to go to Abydos and track down Daniel Jackson (Michael Shanks) to find out what the heck is going on.

Turns out, there's more than one Stargate- there's a whole network of them. And Ra? He was but one of many bad guys known as the Gouald, who are a worm-like race that require hosts for the symbiotes. They soon figure out where the soldiers are, go and get them back and pick up another new friend- a renegade Jaffa, Tealc (Christopher Judge) along the way and then, just like that, SG-1 is off and running.

This is from an era of television that I don't think is ever coming back again, so you have 22 episodes a season. That means, the team goes to an awful lot of planets that bear a passing resemblance to the area in and around Vancouver, British Columbia and they are inevitably confronted with some problem/monster of the week that they then solve and move onto the next mission. But SG-1, once it gets rolling starts mixing things up a bit.

In Season 2, we meet the Tok'ra. I love the Tok'ra. I love the way they are introduced. I love the idea of a secret, legendary band of renegade Gouald who are opposed to the System Lords and rely on voluntary hosts to keep their numbers up. We also meet the Asgard (who resemble the traditional 'Greys' that pop culture loves so much.) We start to see forces that oppose the Stargate program on Earth crop up--- ranging from Senator Kinsey to the NID to the Russians (a very late 90s aspect of this show.)

As you go further into the show, you see Earth start to adopt the technology they find to build hyperspace capable ships and get out into the galaxy a bit more.

Before we get into Season 6 specifically though: there has been talk of rebooting Stargate. Call it a reboot, revival, whatever they do with it-- there is one place that Stargate has not gone and it's the only thing that I can think of that will open up myriad new story possibilities for the franchise: disclosure.

They've tip-toed around it now again-- Eli in Stargate: Universe solves a video game puzzle they embedded into a video game and gets beamed up to a space ship and agrees to join the program. (Though it doesn't exactly work out well for him in the end.) But disclosure is the way to go. Seeing how society reacts. Seeing how civilians react. It's hard to believe, given how big the program is getting, that someone hasn't noticed by now, but maybe it's an open secret that hasn't been revealed to the public at large yet-- I don't know. But I think everything should flow from that as a starting point if you're going to reboot the series. Bonus Points if you manage to pull another Children of the Gods out of your hat and make the transition from the old show to the new one as seamless as they did between the movie and television.

ALL OF THAT BEING SAID, let's jam about Season 6:

So, by the time Season 6 rolls around, Daniel is gone. He's ascended to the next plane of existence and newcomer Jonas (Corin Nemec) has taken his place. The threat of Anubis is still growing- but has yet to reach it's peak. Stargate Atlantis hasn't started yet- but there are hints that it's coming-- we go back to the Antarctic sight in 'Frozen' and Daniel finds direct references to the City of the Ancients in 'Full Circle' at the end of the season, so they're definitely laying the groundwork for it.

There are some hints that Daniel isn't all the way gone either- he appears to Jack in 'Abyss' and provides comfort, though he is forbidden from doing anything. Tealc also sees him in 'The Changeling' where he's skipping through various realities and Daniel shows up. 'Full Circle' seems to be the first indication that Daniel is coming back in some form-- as he cuts a deal to try and save Abydos, which is sort of successful in that the inhabitants-- including Skaraa (Alexis Cruz), all ascend, but other than that, everything is destroyed and the season ends with Anubis getting his hands on an extremely powerful weapon setting up a big Season 7. (At least that's what I'm guessing.)

In terms of Earthbound shenanigans, we see some classified information management when a report finds out about the Stargate Program in 'Prometheus', Senator Kinsey gets shot and it seems like O'Neill is responsible in 'Smoke & Mirrors' and the Americans and Russians have to brief the rest of the world (China, France, Britain, etc.) in 'Disclosure.'

I am excited to keep moving with this show and to maybe, just maybe, get all the way through it at least once. I was a bit curious as to why Michael Shanks left for a season and could only find this as explanation, but I'm glad he's back and I hope Jonas gets to bow out with some dignity, since they had me worried in 'Prophecy' that they were going to straight up kill him off.

My Grade: I'm going to call this one a solid *** out of ****. I'm ready for Season 7 and for a show that has a few seasons under it's belt, Stargate SG-1 is ticking all the boxes with this season. 6 official down, 4 more to go!

[just-come-baek]

bet on it

Pairing: Na Jaemin x female!reader

Themes: smut | fluff | kidna cracky | light angst | fake dating!au | college!au | idiots to lovers!au | love letters

Word count: 21.2k 

Summary: One day, Jaemin stops by with a strange request. Any other person would just laugh in his face and refuse in a second. Unfortunately, I, being the dumbass I am, agree to it. Soon enough, everything gets out of hand, causing much more drama than we could ever predict.

Or in other words, Jaemin shouldn’t bet on things he knows he can’t win.

Warnings: all characters share like 3 brain cells, and somehow they all belong to Ten??? | self-indulgent type 3 diabetes fluff | cursing | mutual pining | college duties negligence | scheming and plotting | double-crossing | hookup culture condoning | corny and cringy stuff | alcohol consumption | smoking | extreme winter sports | amateur matchmaking | professional wooing | manipulative behaviour | steamy smut | oral female!receiving | thigh riding | spanking | marking | overstimulation | protected sex | lots of teasing | made up warnings | I don’t remember more

A/N it’s an instalment for love letters event hosted by neosmutcollective, I hope you enjoy my jaemin entry as well as other entries written by my friends from the network, check out the event tags too, and yeah, happy valentine's day!  😏  💖

***

“What?” I yelled, almost spitting my tea. No, I must’ve heard him wrong. Jaemin wouldn’t be stupid enough to do that. It had to be a joke. Or I must’ve imagined him say that. “You don’t mean that,” I added, still in shock, trying to comprehend what just happened.

“Come on, Noona,” Jaemin whined, staring right into my eyes, wishing for me to say yes to his ridiculous proposal. “I wouldn’t suggest that if I knew we couldn’t pull through.”

With a sigh, I shook my head. Jaemin’s proposition was absurd, and I couldn’t believe I was about to ask him again to walk me through it.

Damn me and my curiosity.

“Before I make my mind about this… tell me what the fuck led you guys to make that stupid bet. Then, and only then, I will still say no, but in good faith,” I demanded, smiling at Jaemin, knowing I wouldn’t make it easy for him to convince me. The odds weren’t in his favor, and he really had to put in lots of effort if he really wanted me on board.

“So we were chilling after practice, and then Haechan started to tease me that I have no game anymore,” Jaemin started, and I rolled my eyes. Of course, I should’ve figured it out. A man in his age apparently is a failure unless he has a different girl in his bed at least 3 nights a week, moaning his name at the top of her voice. Even though Jaemin doesn’t have a competitive nature, it still provoked him into agreeing to this absurd bet.

Life must be though with an ego so fragile…

Jaemin isn’t a fuckboy, yet he still has a fair share of love conquests. Though I had no idea whether it was true or not, he must have fallen a little behind the others – otherwise, they wouldn’t tease him about it.

“And then I said his mother must’ve dropped him on the head if he really thinks that,” Jaemin carried on. I nodded my head, trying to wrap my head around this preposterous situation. “Then, I said I could seduce any girl I want,” he added proudly, making me want to flicker his forehead, hoping it would knock some sense into that empty skull at the top of his neck.

“Okay, but how the hell did you end up with having to seduce me? This is the part I have the most trouble understanding,” I pointed out, cocking my eyebrow.

“Then, Chenle suggested we bet on it, and I agreed to it,” Jaemin whispered, looking away, sounding both regretful and shy. “I urged them to pick any girl, so Haechan looked around to choose my next conquest. It was the time when you and Ten were walking to the dance studio, and that bastard suggested you.”

So it was Haechan’s doing – I should’ve figured this one out. He was the only one wicked enough to possibly ruin somebody’s friendship because of a stupid bet.

Or, it was quite genius of him – maybe he figured Jaemin would not cross this line, choosing our friendship over winning this imbecilic bet.

“And you were confident you can woo me? What about our friendship? Does it mean anything to you?” I inquired, curious of what was going inside his head when he agreed to this half-witted bet. Did he seriously think we could have sex and then forget all about it?

“It’s not like that! I don’t want to woo you. I mean… I could, and you would be very much aware if I tried to hit on you, and you would fall for me. No doubts on that,” Jaemin spoke confidently, grinning like an idiot with ego blown way out of proportion. “But–“

Jaemin was about to say something dense, so before more bullshit managed to leave his mouth, I hit him with a cutting board. Jaemin whined, but I was sure he was exaggerating for comedy purposes. My hit was calculated and balanced – it was powerful enough for him to understand it wasn’t a good idea, but at the same, it was not going to cause any permanent damage to his brain. I’d never purposefully do that to him.

“We’re not having sex. Get that shit inside your head,” I interjected, pouring my herbal tea down my throat, already thinking about making another cup. This conversation was making me uncomfortable, and I wanted to put an end to it. Perhaps another lemon balm tea would calm my nerves.

Ignoring his penetrating gaze, I shuffled around the kitchen, setting the kettle on the stove. In the meantime, Jaemin walked around the kitchen island and grabbed me by my shoulders, looking straight into my eyes.

“Come on, Noona, I am not asking you to sleep with me,” Jaemin defended his case, quite determined to pull me on his side.

“Well… it looks exactly like you’re asking me to sleep with you,” I cut in, walking around him to the cabinet to get a fresh tea bag. I’ve really had enough of this bullshit.

“We could just make it look like like we did,” he carried on, and I heaved a deep sigh, regretting even letting him in today. I had this extremely boring essay to write, and at this point, I’d rather begin my research on whatever topic my professor assigned.

“It’s still a no from me, sorry,” I replied harshly, crashing Jaemin’s expectations. Judging by the look on his face, it wasn’t the outcome he anticipated when he decided to knock on my doors. “What happens when you lose that bet? Well… except for your pride, of course.”

“500 dollars.”

“Ouch, sowwy, I hope you can afford that,” I added with a fake smile, patting him on the shoulder, being well aware this amount of money was a game-changer to Jaemin’s budget. If he won, he would have the time of his life, spoiling himself. However, if he lost, he’d have to eat instant ramen on every meal for the entire month. “Either way, I hope it will teach you a lesson to not bet on things you know you can’t win.”

“Ugh, fine,” Jaemin groaned in disappointment, reaching for my hands, holding them carefully as if they were made of china. “If you help me, I’ll give you half of the money,” he proposed, and I looked at our hands linked together, then quickly shifted my gaze to his eyes. “If you help me win, you’ll get 250 dollars, and you’ll be finally able to buy those fancy shoes you wanted so bad. What do you say?”

When did he get so persuasive?

It was a low blow.

Jaemin knew that these shoes were tempting me ever since I had seen them. Multiple times, my thumb hovered over the add-to-cart button. Every time, I resisted the temptation last minute upon seeing the price tag, though. This purchase was way out of my budget.  However, now, when the new income opportunity presented itself, it made me wonder.

Suddenly, the kettle began to whistle, bringing me down to Earth from that ridiculous train of thought. Shaking my head, I tore my hands out of Jaemin’s gentle grasp, fidgeting back to the stove, pouring boiling water into the cup.

“Okay, fine, but I have a few questions first,” I gave up after a short pause for intense pondering, and Jaemin smiled brightly in instant gratitude and relief. Without my help, he would be doomed. “And then, if I like the answers, I have a few conditions.”

“Anything.”

“Okay, so first of all, how much time do we have to do the deed,” I inquired as I blew some air before taking a cautious sip.

“About two weeks,” Jaemin mentioned after a while as he had counted on his fingers how many days we have to team up and win five hundred dollars for us. “Officially, we have to do it before Jaehyun’s birthday party,” he specified, and I hummed, realizing it is very little time.

“You seriously think I am that easy? Outrageous,” I gasped, throwing a fake tantrum as I made my way around him to sit down on the barstool on the other side of the kitchen island.

“No, of course not,” Jaemin quickly realized what I was getting on, so he smiled sheepishly, already trying to figure out the best wording to calm me down. “I am just that good,” he added, and I leaned over to smack his shoulder. “Kidding,” he defended himself, stepping out of my reach. “Renjun proposed this party, I mean, it’s the easiest way they can verify we did it,” Jaemin carried on, and I cursed under my breath.

How convenient.

“But we’re not going to do the fucking,” I stated, as a matter of fact, repeating myself in order to make sure we were both on the same page. As much as it would be pleasant to actually do it with him, never under these circumstances.

“No, we’re not, but I guess we can sneak out upstairs to one of the unoccupied rooms, and once we make sure they’re listening, you can just shout how good I’m fucking you,” Jaemin reasoned, and I sighed as regret once again washed through me.

“That’s creepy,” I commented as my mind conjured an image of a group of peeping Toms, eavesdropping on our sex session. Once again, I felt the temptation to drop out of this deal, but then, another thought crossed my mind. “Ugh, fine, I’ll do it. All I have to do is shout for two minutes, and then, these cute shoes will be mine.”

“Two minutes? Are you insane?” Jaemin hollered, offended by my comment. “It happened once, and it was ages ago. I’ve learned plenty of tricks since then,” he blabbered, acting way too defensive for his past mishap. “Just let me live in peace, please.”

“Okay, so we have established the deadline, and although it��s not enough time for anyone to woo me, let’s go with it.”

“Thank you! I knew I could count on you,” Jaemin replied with gleeful enthusiasm as he sat down on the barstool beside me and pressed a chaste kiss against my knuckles.

“But you have to go overboard with the courting,” I added, making Jaemin groan. Hard work wasn’t his best suit, but this time, he really had to try his best, or I’d have to turn him down at Jaehyun’s party. “You really have to make it believable and super romantic. Otherwise, I’m out,” I clarified, and Jaemin nodded, though unwillingly.

“Fine, any other wishes in mind?”

“Once we win the bet, we have to end this whole fake-dating fiasco immediately,” I announced, already planning ahead. It was easy to win the bet, but the most difficult part was getting back to normal. If we planned to fake-date in order to fake-fuck, then it was reasonable to figure out how we’re going to fake-break up.

“We should agree on admitting it was the best sex of our lives, but despite that, we value our friendship even more, so we decided to remain friends. How does it sound?” Jaemin suggested, and I had to once again resist the temptation to roll my eyes.

“I agree with the overall message, but later, we have to work on proper delivery.”

 ***

On the very next day, Jaemin and I decided to implement our secret plan.

Since I specifically asked to be courted in an over-the-top manner, Jaemin suggested going to the cinema. There were no attention-grabbing titles screened, yet ultimately, we agreed on watching the very last projection of the sequel to Wonder Woman.

“Go get the snacks, I’ll buy the tickets,” I ordered once we stepped into the cinema area of the nearest shopping mall. It was two o’clock in the afternoon, so the establishment wasn’t crowded. Except for us, there was only a family of three slowly making their way to the exit.

“See you in five minutes,” Jaemin murmured before he walked off to the bar to get us some salty popcorn and soda drinks. Though we both considered them way overpriced, it was a perfect way to celebrate the beginning of our fake relationship.

“We still have some time until the movie starts,” Jaemin shyly whispered as he cleared his throat. “Let’s take some selfies to make it public,” he added, and I nodded, sending him a timid smile, knowing this protocol had to be done in order to properly keep up appearances.

These days, everything had to be posted on social media, or it didn’t exist. If we didn’t leave a single digital mark, people might’ve grown a little bit suspicious of our alleged rendezvous. It would probably shock our friends, but it had to be done if we wanted to really sell it to them.

The circumstances were perfect for an impromptu first-date photo shoot. We were able to snap a few pictures without any annoying looks of prying eyes, choose the best angles, and finally post it with an ambiguous description confusing the shit out our friends.

Though Jaemin took about fifty photos, ultimately, I allowed him to upload three.

One picture showed me standing back to the camera as I looked at the cinema schedule, trying to pick a movie. I was wearing an A-line crimson red dress and a pair of warm black tights – the outfit really made my figure look pretty slim.

“What do you think about this one?” Jaemin inquired, showing me the photo of our interlaced hands. With a hum, I inspected the picture, giving him the green light. It was appropriate for our first date – it would signify we weren’t at the cinema as friends.

“This one looks good enough,” I commented as I reached to swipe across the screen of his smartphone. “I look cute here,” I added, showing Jaemin a picture of us. We were smiling, staring at the camera, almost stuffing our faces into the bucket of popcorn.

“What kind of description should I write?”

“Something vague, I guess,” I answered with a shrug, having no clue what kind of comment would be fitting for this Instagram post. “Maybe stick to emojis,” I suggested, and Jaemin went back to work, adjusting filters and typing the description.

With a chuckle, Jaemin handed me his phone, letting me approve his commentary.

“Are you out of your mind?” I hollered, quickly deleting the emojis. Having smacked his shoulder, I turned around, blocking him from seeing the screen. Three blushed emojis suited our fake-date better than a popcorn bucket, a wine glass, and an eggplant.

“Sorry, I couldn’t help myself,” Jaemin apologized, still laughing at his incredibly funny joke.

“Here, I posted it,” I said with an eye roll, throwing his phone at his lap. “The commercials must’ve started; let’s go,” I rose from my seat and extended my arm, wanting Jaemin to hand me the cup of coke. Jaemin, however, completely misunderstood my intentions, putting his hand into mine, holding it gently. “Give me my drink, Jaemin.”

“Sorry,” Jaemin sheepishly smiled before he yanked back his hand and turned his head around, too embarrassed to look at me. I, on the other hand, laughed hysterically. That should’ve served him right after that emoji faux pas.

“I was kidding,” I admitted when my laughter died down. “Come on, Jaemin. Let’s go; I want to see the trailers,” I added before grabbing his hand, hauling him inside the screening room.

At the last row, we plopped down onto our double seat, getting comfortable for the movie. With our belongings thrown onto the neighboring seat, we stretched our limbs before the lights went out, providing us with the best viewing experience.

“Do you think they’ve seen it?” Jaemin whispered into my ear as he placed his head on my shoulders. “I want to check it, but at the same time, I don’t.”

“Mood,” I replied, feeling just as anxious.

The movie began, and we quickly forgot about our bold social media statement, focusing much more on the screening. Residing to our typical behavior, Jaemin placed his head on my shoulder, snuggling closer, taking full advantage of the bucket of popcorn, which rested on my thighs.

It was peaceful and comfortable – just as things were before Jaemin had come up with his brilliant idea to fake-date each other for the sake of that ludicrous bet. Though we acted the way we used to with each other, it felt somewhat different with that supposed romantic connotations haunting us. Not necessarily bad kind of different, though.

Just as we expected, two hours was more than enough for our friends to spam our individual inboxes. We both had dozens of messages from group chats, as well as private ones. All of them were asking and/or speculating what happened and why.

“I don’t feel like answering any of these,” I muttered, dreading to read what Ten and Jiwoo wrote on our roomies’ group chat. “I don’t feel like coming home, either. They’re gonna eat me alive with questions. I am not ready to face them yet. Wanna hang out some more?”

“Fuck, even my mom has seen them,” Jaemin cursed under his breath, completely forgetting about his mother being a mad keen Instagram user. Now, when he looked at our arrangement from a slightly different angle, Jaemin realized it brought way more consequences than he was planning on facing.

It was bad.

Really bad.

With shaky hands, I unlocked my phone, checking the Instagram post Jaemin had tagged me in. Not only our friends flooded the group chats, but also, they didn’t forget to embarrass us even further in the comment section.

lucas_xx444: what the heck??? 😧 is this for real???

yuu_taa_1026: finally!!1 maybe they stop simping for each other now 🤡

_jeongjaehyun: another man down, shame 😔

choi.jiwoo21: 🙄🙄 some men actually grow up, jeong…

mama_nana: Why am I only finding about this now?

“Well… fuck,” I murmured under my breath, still unable to process the fact that Jaemin’s mom knew about it. It was supposed to be a harmless charade; however, with each passing minute, it was getting out of hand. “What is the damage control procedure?” I asked in concern, biting the bottom lip nervously. Lying to our friends was pretty bad, but keeping this relationship thingy up in front of his mother was despicable.

“You know how she is,” Jaemin started, and I sighed, wishing I had no clue of what she was capable of. Unfortunately, I did, and it scared the hell out of me. “Either we go and visit her, or she’s coming to visit us,” he wondered, unable to choose which option was worse. “Fuck, she’s calling me. What do I do?”

With panic flashed in his eyes, Jaemin handed me his phone, expecting me to handle the conversation with his gossip-girl type of a mother. As if that would ever happen…

“Pick up and tell her we’re awfully busy or something,” I ordered him, gliding my finger across the screen, pressing the device against Jaemin’s ear.

“Hi, mom,” he spoke through gritted teeth, staring at me in absolute fury. Quickly, his hand cupped mine before he grabbed the phone, adjusting it.

By Jaemin’s mom’s standards, the conversation was brief. Or rather, her monologue was because Jaemin didn’t speak a single word through the entirety of it. Except for a couple of mmm’s thrown here and there, he didn’t engage at all.

Ideally, Jaemin would schedule the visit after we will have broken up. He’d go there by himself and tell her a story of us coming back to our senses and deciding to remain just friends. Unfortunately, that would require at least one functional brain cell and a pinch of assertiveness – both of which Jaemin seemed to lack.

“And?” I inquired, praying to hear some good news.

With a sheepish smile, Jaemin cautiously looked up at me. “We’re visiting her for dinner on Friday,” he announced, and I gripped my hands, trying to refrain myself from beating the shit out of him.

I didn’t sign up for any of this!

I just wanted some shoes.

“I hate you, Na Jaemin,” I angrily declared, storming out of the cinema, ready to indulge myself with plenty of greasy food. It wasn’t the best coping mechanism, but I needed to consume a ridiculous amount of calories in order to forget I was stupid enough to agree to participate in this travesty. “Are you coming or not?!”

 ***

The last thing I wanted was to face my roommates. They must’ve had dozens of questions about this out-of-the-blue date, and I was dreadful because I couldn’t provide them with genuine answers. Perhaps, I could try to confabulate my way out of this, but it was, nonetheless, risky.

Having eaten at least two servings of a delicious greasy meal Jaemin and I went for a stroll under the pretense of taking some more photos for future references.

Around 8 o’clock, I unwillingly made my way home. Even with that romantic aura lurking around us, it was still fun to hang out with Jaemin.

Walking up the stairs to the fourth floor, I wondered about possible solutions to my problem. In a perfect scenario, I’d sneak into my room without anyone noticing, so I wouldn’t have to deal with any prying questions until, at least, early morning.

Unfortunately, the moment I pulled out my keys, the doors swung wide open.

“Well, well, well…” Ten tsked with a mischievous smirk dancing across his gorgeous face. Asshole. How dare he tsk me? “Had fun on your date?” He asked, and I tried my best to ignore him. It wasn’t that easy, though. With Jiwoo backing up his teasing, I was outnumbered.

“So… you and Jaemin, huh?” Jiwoo mused, cocking up her eyebrow in curiosity. “Spill the tea. I didn’t spam your inbox to not hear all the details,” she added, and I rolled my eyes, regretting all of my poor life choices that led me to this moment.

“I’ll bring wine,” Ten hollered before he disappeared in the kitchen, also keen on knowing everything that had happened between us. “Don’t say anything until I get there!”

They wanted to hear a romantic story of how two friends realized they had hots for each other, and that’s exactly what I did. Unwillingly, I provided them with an incredible piece of fiction of how we felt the spark when Jaemin stopped by the other day.

Admittedly, it was easy to go with the flow once the wine molecules were coursing through my veins. With some liquid inspiration in my bloodstream, I narrated how adorable Jaemin had been when he had gathered enough courage to ask me out on a date.

“So I assume you’re bringing Jaemin to the cabin on the weekend,” Jiwoo inquired in a teasing manner, and I blinked in confusion. What cabin was she talking about? “You forgot, didn’t you?”

“Forgot about what?” I asked, still clueless about the whole ordeal. With a confused frown, I wondered what this cabin trip was about. Positively, I didn’t forget about it. It’s impossible to forget about plans you weren’t even invited to.

So, Jiwoo explained everything in great detail.

Apparently, Jaehyun and Johnny planned a weekend getaway to the cabin by the sea. They invited plenty of people, but since it’s the middle of a hectic period of exams, only a small percentage of invitees would be able to make it.

Jaehyun, Johnny, and Lucas gave up trying to get the best grades two semesters ago, so their schedule was pretty much open. Renjun, Chenle, and Yeri were nerds with every necessary book memorized by heart, so they didn’t have to cram the weekend before the tests. Jiwoo, being heads over heels in love with Jaehyun, would even cancel her manicure appointment to make it to that trip. She was that serious about this fratboy for some reason…

And now, two individuals needed a perfect excuse to ditch an uncomfortable family dinner. When a chance presented itself in front of me, I just couldn’t say no.

“I’m going. I don’t know about Jaemin, though. He’s meeting his mom on Friday, but maybe he can make it work.”

“Fantastic,” Jiwoo shouted in excitement before finishing her glass of wine.

“Now, when I think about it, I am glad I’ve taken an extra shift at the gym,” Ten chimed in with a playful smirk as he sipped his wine. “You two simping for each other was painful to watch, but now, when you’re hitting it off, it’s gonna be unbearable.”

“What do you mean simping?” I yelled in a threatening manner, ready to fight him for spitting nonsense so carelessly. I might’ve had a tiny crush on Jaemin, but I wouldn’t call it simping. Also, suggesting the simping was mutual? He must’ve lost his freaking mind. Ridiculous!

“Shit, I didn’t think this through,” Jiwoo mentioned, now probably re-considering if the trip is worthwhile. She would love to hang out with Jaehyun and finally make a move, but on the other hand, she would have to deal with my and Jaemin’s romantic shenanigans.

“Why are you such drama queens? We’ve been on one date, for crying out loud! Stop acting like we’re some kind of overly touchy couple because we’re not,” I barked, having no more energy to argue with them. “We’ll keep PDA to a minimum, don’t worry.”

“No need to get so defensive,” Ten added, enjoying my misery a bit too much.

“I am not getting defensive,” I argued, though facing real trouble, unable to actually back up my perspective. “Anyway, I am going to sleep. Unlike the two of you, some people have real jobs,” I added before storming to my room, plopping onto my bed with a tired groan.

Having changed into my pajamas and sneaked under the covers, I finally dared to connect my phone to the Internet. My inbox was full of texts, so I read them all. I didn’t feel like replying to any of them, though. Instead, I opened my chat with Jaemin.

my love 💖 | 20:41 | I figured it out

my love 💖 | 20:41 | You don’t have to thank me

my love  💖 | 20:41 | Also

my love 💖 | 20:41 | Wtf Jaemin?

my love 💖 | 20:41 | What kind of name is that???

my love 💖 | 20:42 | Change it back

baNANA 🍓 |  20:43 | No. 😘

baNANA 🍓 | 20:43 | The name stays

baNANA 🍓 | 20:43 | You can’t make me 😝😝

baNANA 🍓 | 20:44 | And what don’t I have to thank you for?

my love 💖 | 20:44 | I might’ve found alternative plans for friday

baNANA 🍓 | 20:44 | Oh???

my love 💖 | 20:45 | Jiwoo invited us to the cabin for the weekend

my love 💖 | 20:45 | We’re gonna get so drunk!

my love 💖 | 20:45 | It’s okay if you can’t make it, tho

baNANA 🍓 | 20:45 | Wow

baNANA 🍓 | 20:45 | I have an exam on Monday…

baNANA 🍓 | 20:45 | But I can make Haechan give me his notes

baNANA 🍓 | 20:46 | I wouldn’t miss it

my love 💖 | 20:46 | Good, then it’s a date

baNANA 🍓 | 20:46 | Date??? 🥰🥰

my love 💖 | 20:46 | Stop being so cringy!

baNANA 🍓 | 20:46 | Good night, love~~ 😘

baNANA 🍓 | 20:46 | Dream of me 😇😇😇

my love 💖 | 20:46 | Ugh.

my love 💖 | 20:46 | Disgusting 🤢🤮

baNANA 🍓 | 20:46 | I love you, too

***

As brilliant as my plan was, it fell through. Only partially, though. The little getaway was still a thing, but unfortunately, regardless of how much we tried, we couldn’t reschedule the dinner at Jaemin’s family home.

We still had to pay his parents a visit, but, at least, there was a silver lining.

Thanks to our hectic schedule, Jaemin’s mom wouldn’t have a chance to force us to stay longer. Whether she wanted to feed us dessert or stay the night, it was out of the question.

Since Jiwoo had one more exam to pass on Friday, half of the guests would have to show up later in the evening. Johnny, Jaehyun, Lucas, and Renjun were about to take off around noon while Jiwoo, Yeri, Chenle, Jaemin, and I had to carpool later in the evening.

I didn’t complain, though.

“It’ll be fine. It’s just my mom,” Jaemin reassured me, slipping his hand into mine, giving it a gentle squeeze. “I bet it’s gonna be like any other time you stopped by,” he added, and I cocked up my eyebrow suspiciously.

“You better be right,” I spoke, though still unconvinced. I knew Jaemin’s mother. She had a tendency to be, hmm…, a little bit extra. Who knew how she would behave now when she found out we were dating?

Since Jaemin was carrying our suitcases, I knocked on the front doors. Jaemin’s mom rushed to let us in, but not before she gave us bone-crushing hugs.

“I think you’ve misunderstood. I invited you for dinner. I didn’t ask you to move in with me,” Mrs. Na jested upon seeing the suitcases in Jaemin’s hands, misinterpreting the situation in the funniest way possible. “It must be shocking, but I enjoy living alone with your father.”

“We’re going to the beach with some friends after the dinner,” Jaemin clarified, and his mother hummed in understanding, acting a bit too cool about it. It’s been a while since Jaemin paid them a proper visit, and she was a little too nonchalant for my liking. “They’re going to pick us up around seven.”

She must’ve done something or was about to do something.

“Here’s some wine,” I spoke up, handing her the bottle as a small thank you gift for inviting us over for a delicious home-made meal.

“Thank you, dear. You’re so thoughtful,” Mrs. Na accepted the beverage, guiding us to the dining area. “I didn’t feel like cooking today, so I ordered some Chinese takeout. I hope you don’t mind,” she added, and I chuckled at her typical antics.

She was an amazing mother to Jaemin, raising him well, but she really was a terrible housewife. She didn’t change one bit, and I loved her for it. She had so much love for her husband, her son, and her son’s friends, and that’s what really mattered.

“Your father will be home in thirty,” she announced before she made a beeline to the kitchen to get a bottle opener. “And the takeout was supposed to arrive twenty minutes ago. If it weren’t for that slow delivery guy, I would’ve got away with my little secret,” she blabbered, laughing awkwardly.

“It’s okay, really,” I reassured her, sending her a genuine smile. “I am craving Chinese food, anyway,” I added before I elbowed Jaemin, so he would say something, too. For a blabbermouth he was, right now, he seemed awfully quiet.

Before Jaemin managed to provide his mother with a proper response, someone knocked on the doors. Since we had already arrived, it must’ve been the delivery guy with food.

“I’ll go get it,” Jaemin excused himself, leaving me alone with his mother.

“So…,” Mrs. Na cleared her throat as he began pouring wine into fancy glasses. “You guys are finally dating. And if you want me to be completely honest, I am a little bit disappointed,” she made a pause to look at me in the eye. What? She didn’t approve of me? That’s surprising; I used to think she adored me. “I am a little bit disappointed either of you didn’t make a move sooner. I was slowly losing hope,” she added, and I sighed in relief.

For a while, I was seriously concerned she didn’t like me.

“Are you expecting any guests? There’s no way we can finish it all by the four of us,” Jaemin commented as he walked into the dining room, setting two plastic bags of takeout. It smelled heavenly, and I couldn’t wait to taste whatever dish Mrs. Na had ordered.

“I can always invite your friends inside when they pull up,” she spoke matter-of-factly, but as soon as Jaemin looked at her sternly, she seconded that idea. “Or, I can pack it up, so you can share it with your friends later.”

“Should we wait for dad?” Jaemin asked when his stomach growled, demanding food. In the morning, he was quite anxious about going to his parents’ house, so he didn’t even bother to eat. Now, Jaemin was starving. He couldn’t wait any longer.

“I’ll get the plates,” his mom spoke, not really answering his question. Within two minutes, she came back with a special set of tableware. In their household, it was used only for holidays and other rare occasions. “Dig in,” she urged us, waiting for us to fill our plates before doing the same herself.

Whatever restaurant provided today’s dinner, it was remarkable. It wasn’t too salty, nor too spicy. Even when I was full, I still stuffed my mouth some more, unable to stop myself.

“You have sauce on your chin,” Jaemin remarked, pointing at his own chin, helping me locate the stray drop of soy sauce. “Here,” he added with a tired shake of his head, wiping it clean with his napkin.

“You two are too adorable,” Mrs. Na cooed, smiling at us widely. “It was worth the wait,” she added, and I creased my forehead in confusion. “Oh, did you hear that? It must be your dad,” Mrs. Na said upon hearing noise from the garage. “You keep eating, I’ll go greet his workaholic ass,” she excused herself with a playful smile before walking away from the table to welcome her husband as any loving wife would.

With a deep sigh, Jaemin leaned toward me, resting his arm on my chair.

“It’s not that bad, actually. I was excepting to go through some kind of FBI-level of interrogation, but she seems kind of chill about this whole thing,” Jaemin whispered into my ear, and I giggled, agreeing with him. It was kind of suspicious, but I couldn’t complain.

“It’s kinda creepy when she’s talking like she’s been rooting for us to end up together, but this one thing aside, it’s bearable,” I replied, and Jaemin nodded his head.

“I am gone for a minute, and you’re all over each other,” Mrs. Na snickered when she returned to the dining room, seeing Jaemin leaned in, only inches apart from my face. “Jaemin, mama’s so proud,” she added before she walked around the room to set the plate for Mr. Na.

“Stop embarrassing me,” Jaemin whined, playing with the food on his plate, pouting. Though his mother pretty much ignored his childish tantrum, I chuckled, finding it absolutely adorable. Maybe she was a teaser, but little Jaemin knew, he inherited it from her. It was time he experienced the taste of his own medicine.

The apple doesn’t fall that far from the tree…

The rest of the afternoon went peaceful. Though Mrs. Na threw in some cheesy remarks here and there, we could handle it. We were slightly buzzed, after all.

“It’s time for us,” Jaemin announced as he heard a car parked in front of the house. “It was nice. We should totally do it again,” he sarcastically added when he reached for my coat and helped me put it on.

“Don’t have too much fun,” she added with a playful smirk upon her face, earning a judging look from her more conservative husband. “No, wait, I second that. Have as much fun as you want. I am a cool parent,” she spoke, changing her mind in a matter of seconds. “And I plan on becoming a cool grandparent.”

At first, I wanted to remind her that we’re too young for children. Besides, technically, we only went on one date. It was definitely too soon to even think about these things, let alone talk about them out loud.

Thankfully, before I managed to say something I’d regret, Jiwoo honked, urging us to get going. If it wasn’t for her impatience, I might’ve ruined the image I had built for myself in Jaemin’s parents’ eyes.

“Your mother was joking! Always use protection,” Mr. Na hollered before he closed the doors after us.

***

Except for a few playful comments shot toward Jaemin and me, the ride was peaceful. As soon as we threw our suitcases into the trunk and squeezed in on the backseat, we hit the road. Jamming to Jiwoo’s playlist, we chatted in excitement, all of us in desperate need of a little vacation. It was a stressful time of a year, but maybe this short trip would actually help us recharge the batteries and calm down after busting our asses off.

“How was the dinner?” Jiwoo asked, staring at us in the rearview mirror. Since there was a limited amount of space, I was almost sitting on Jaemin’s laps. Jiwoo didn’t miss it with her eagle eyes. The way Jaemin played with my fingers didn’t go unnoticed, either.

“Bearable,” I muttered under my breath, not really wanting to recollect these memories now. I’d probably tell Jiwoo everything later, and she understood the subliminal message in a heartbeat. “How was your test?”

“I probably failed, but, at least, now I know what to expect,” Jiwoo answered as she turned to the left as the navigation system instructed her to.

In about two hours, we arrived at our destination.

Having stepped into the cabin with our heavy luggage in our hands, we encountered the middle of the party. A handful of beer bottles were scattered around the living area, the boys fervently discussing some matter.

“You’re finally here,” Jaehyun spoke matter-of-factly, as he noticed us in the threshold. “Go upstairs and leave your stuff in your rooms. We’ve already assigned them; just read the post-it notes stuck to the doors,” he explained before he turned away.

Huh, apparently, they were pros at planning.

The guys rented a cabin that consisted of six tiny bedrooms. Generally, we wouldn’t have a problem assigning them; however, since Jaehyun, Lucas, and Johnny didn’t want to room with anyone, we were facing a dilemma. They guys wanted to have some privacy if they managed to pick someone up at the hotel in the neighborhood. In this case, the six of us had to share rooms. Jiwoo and Yeri could room together. Renjun and Chenle could occupy another one, so it looked like they put Jaemin and me in the last one.

Thankfully, it wouldn’t be the first time when I had to share a bed with Jaemin. He had stayed the night plenty of times before when he dozed off during our Netflix marathons. However, it still was to be a little bit awkward since everybody thought we began dating. We were going to pull through, though.

As soon as possible, we came back downstairs, ready to even the score of consumed alcohol. All of us needed it. Everybody had a different reason for it, but none of our troubles were to be discussed tonight.

In the fridge, there was a whole palette of different types of alcohol. Quickly, I grabbed two tequila-flavored beers, handing one to Jaemin, allowing others to choose their poison.

My plan for tonight was to test every kind of alcohol, gradually going up with the percentages. It was a bad idea, but that’s what college was about – having fun like there’re no consequences.

We partied like there’s no tomorrow.

At first, we kept it simple. Fervent conversations led us to shout at one another, trying to force one perspective over the others. We were going through so many subjects that any sober bystander might’ve had real trouble comprehending how we managed to switch among them.

Then, someone suggested playing a drinking game. Of course, it had to be never have I ever. Everybody had so much fun, especially when the participants yelled at Jaemin and me because we didn’t even bother to abide by the rules. We were sipping our drinks whenever we felt like it, even between rounds, and it didn’t sit right with the rest. Eventually, they kicked us out of their little circle, giving us the crucial task of bringing some snacks from the kitchen.

Sometime past midnight, Jiwoo proposed going outside. It was beautifully snowing, but at the same time, it was freezing. Though I was opposed to this idea, everybody seemed to love it. The guys were throwing snowballs at each other, bringing out their inner child.

As if this wasn’t enough, they decided to take a stroll to the seaside. Though our cabin was maybe a mile away from the seashore, I didn’t particularly fancy the saunter. Jaemin was by my side, offering to warm my hand in his pocket, but I still was on the verge of freezing my ass off. I’d much rather sit by the fireplace under a few blankets with a mug of the mulled wine in my grasp. Apparently, everybody besides me was really intrigued by an ice bath and other winter extreme sports.

Though it was dangerous as fuck, Jiwoo took off her shoes and rolled up her jeans before she walked into the ice water of the sea. Being the dumbass he was, Lucas instantly followed suit.

“They seem to hit it off tonight,” I nonchalantly whispered as I elbowed Jaehyun. Jiwoo and Jaehyun might have a thing going on, but neither of them acted on it. Jiwoo was too whipped to make a move, too afraid of rejection. Jaehyun, on the other hand, was just a fuckboy, not really looking for a relationship. “Look at them. Don’t they look cute?” I carried on, cautiously watching Jaehyun’s expression. They weren’t together, but he seemed slightly jealous and frustrated watching her have lots of fun with Lucas.

In my opinion, he didn’t deserve her, but I didn’t really have a say in that matter. Jaehyun was the person Jiwoo’s heart longed for, and I, being her best friend, had to support that. Or, in this case, I had to give him a little push to get things in motion.

Jaehyun had some feelings for Jiwoo, but he needed some time and character development to fully comprehend them. Until then, it was my duty to remind him what he’s missing out on by not being serious enough to ask her out.

“Nah, I wouldn’t call them cute,” Jaehyun murmured through gritted teeth, positively jealous. “What they’re doing is dangerous; somebody has to stop them,” he added before he kicked off his own shoes, running toward Jiwoo to pick her up and bring her back to the shore.

“What was that?” Jaemin asked, being shook as to what he had witnessed.

“What was what? What do you mean?” I smirked, winking at him, hoping he wouldn’t tell anyone about it. “I didn’t do anything.”

“You played him,” Jaemin spoke, still impressed by how easily I manipulated Jaehyun into stepping into the scene, pulling Jiwoo away from Lucas. “Is this even legal? You’ve never done this one me, have you?”

“No, of course, not! Don’t be ridiculous,” I answered, though my tone suggested a completely different message. “You would’ve known, wouldn’t you?” I teased, chuckling at Jaemin’s funny expression. He was mortified. “I think you’re overreacting. I just pointed out some facts, and Jaehyun reacted to them according to his emotional opinion. I really didn’t do anything,” I added, defending my case.

“Don’t you ever try pulling a trick like that on me, okay?” Jaemin stated, and I nodded, giving him a promise. “I mean… I wouldn’t fall for it, but still, don’t.”

“We should head back to the cabin,” Johnny shouted, gathering the gang. Surprisingly, he seemed the most sober amongst us, so it didn’t come as a shock to me that he tried to look after his hammered friends.

In my opinion, it was a perfect call. I was slowly sobering up, and I definitely needed a refill. With my schedule packed, I had no idea when I would have a chance for another getaway, so I had to make the most out of this one.

As we returned to the cabin, Jaehyun’s eyes didn’t leave Jiwoo.

Jaemin, on the other hand, went upstairs to grab his camera, deciding it was the best time to snap photos. Of course, he had to take pictures of us when we were drunk out of our minds. Why didn’t he take any when we looked decent without smudged make-up?

“Sexy,” Jaemin commented as he pointed his camera at me. “Ahh, sexy,” he kept calling me that, and I stuck my tongue at him, wanting him to go away pester someone else. My hair was a mess, and my lipstick smudged off my lips a long time ago. “So sexy,” he carried on, making me roll my eyes at him. At some point, I tried kicking him, but that bastard was beyond my reach.

Around 2 o’clock, one by one, we began feeling tired.

Lucas was the first one to go. Considering how much alcohol he had drunk, I was surprised he lasted that long. Better yet, it was a shock he could even stand straight. Jaemin and Renjun had to escort him upstairs, but nonetheless, his alcohol tolerance was impressive.

I didn’t even realize when, but Yeri and Chenle managed to fall asleep on the couch. Firmly, Renjun shook them away, ordering them to go to their respective rooms. With tired yawns, they made their way upstairs, falling on their beds face-first.

“Let’s go to sleep,” Jaemin pouted as he sat on the side of the armchair, resting his head on my shoulder. Entwining his hand in mine, he stood up, pulling me up.

“Have fun, guys. We’re calling it a night,” I announced, refraining from yawning.

“No, you have fun,” Jiwoo replied, sending us a wink. Shaking my head, I sighed before we disappeared upstairs. I don’t know what she was thinking; however, I didn’t have the energy to keep my eyes open, let alone other nighttime activities. Besides, Jaemin was just as spent. Even if we were in a real relationship, we wouldn’t engage in half-conscious unsatisfactory messy sex.

“Come here,” Jaemin whispered as he smiled. His eyes were already closed as he patted the mattress beside him, waiting for me to join. “Good job. I think we really sold it to everybody,” he added as he snuggled closer, wrapping his limbs around my body.

“That’s good,” I purred, slowly drifting into dreamland. It was a long day, and it was finally over. Though it had a rough beginning, I ended it in Jaemin’s arms. “Good night.”

“Good night, my love,” Jaemin muttered, resting his head on my pillow right beside my face.

“You were supposed to change that name,” I replied, too drunk or/and too tired to realize it was his spoken words and not a text message.

 ***

During the second week of our relationship, we grew to be less tense around each other. Better yet, we seemed awfully comfortable, almost as if that’s how everything was meant to be. It was a little bit alarming, but I decided not to point that out. Even if it was just an act, I enjoyed it much more than I’d ever dare to admit. As long as it lasted, I was to savor it.

Ever since we came back from the weekend trip, Jaemin would pop up out of nowhere at least once a day with a surprise for me, proving how over the top he could be in courting a woman.

On Monday, he spammed his social media feed with my pictures from the trip. Of course, he didn’t forget to put a corny description under it, making me flustered. Even though I wouldn’t consider myself photogenic, Jaemin managed to bring out my best features with his photography talent and editing skills.

On Tuesday, Jaemin was waiting outside the auditorium with a cute bouquet of my favorite flowers – white roses. He was there to congratulate me on passing my last exam of the semester. The professor would send us results by the end of the week, but according to Jaemin, there was no chance I’d fail it.

“I still don’t get it how you do it,” Jaemin mused, scratching his temple, trying to put two and two together. “I hardly ever see you study, but then, you panic before an exam only to nail it later on. What kind of black magic is this?” He wondered, and I giggled, unable to explain my poor studying technique. I just winged it last minute every single time in my academic career.

“You better be right about this one,” I replied, still anxious about my grade. I didn’t manage to answer all of the questions, so a passing grade would be a relief. “I’m craving pasta. Do you want t go on a celebratory date?”

“You’re reading my mind,” Jaemin said, grabbing my hand, leading me to our favorite restaurant.

On Wednesday, Jaemin invited me to a bowling alley. Every month he would visit the establishment with his friends. Only on rare occasions, their significant others were invited. None of them could really commit to a serious relationship, so it never became a repetitive custom of their group.

“You guys are disgusting,” Haechan whined after our turn. Jaemin and I were losing by an enormous margin, but we didn’t mind. We were having fun despite a low score. “But at least, we’re winning,” Haechan added, pointing at Chenle and himself.

“I am the winner here,” Jaemin boldly announced, giving my hand a light squeeze, making me almost spit my soda.

Everybody cringed at Jaemin’s bold corny statement.

“I second that,” Haechan mused, looking away from Jaemin. “She’s bearable, and you are just absolutely repulsive,” he corrected himself, and I chuckled. Never in my entire life, I thought I would agree on something with Haechan, but this moment occurred right then.

On Thursday, although my schedule was packed with work, Jaemin insisted on hanging out. Tired out of my mind, I let Jaemin inside the apartment. He was carrying Mexican takeout; I couldn’t send him back home. Not when he had goodies.

“What do you want to watch?” I asked as I handed him the remote, allowing him to choose the movie. I was going to pass out anyway, so he might’ve as well picked something he liked.

“Anything is good,” he answered as he unwrapped his quesadilla, taking a bite off of it.

“The Notebook it is then,” I teased, but since Jaemin didn’t stop me, I put it on.

Having eaten my portion of a delicious meal, I lay down on the couch, resting my head on Jaemin’s thighs. I didn’t even realize when I fell asleep. Only when the credits were rolling down on the screen, Jaemin shook me awake.

“When did you fall asleep?” Jaemin inquired, a little bit mad that I forced him to watch the ultimate romantic movie of the twenty-first century. It was toxic as hell, and the way their behavior got romanticized didn’t sit right with me.

“As soon as I lay down,” I answered honestly, as I rolled around, staring at Jaemin’s handsome face. “How did you like the movie?” I asked innocently, swiftly changing the topic. It was for the better if Jaemin didn’t find out I paid no attention to the film. Instead of a great viewing experience, it was just a mere background noise that lulled me to sleep.

“I didn’t,” Jaemin whined, tapping his foot against the floor, making me sit up instantly. “It was toxic and sad at the same time. Noah was a manipulative jerk, and Allie was moody as fuck. The only bright side of their relationship is that they ended up with each other, not ruining other people’s lives,” Jaemin spoke the truth, and I couldn’t agree more. “In conclusion, give me my 2 hours back,” he added, and I hit him with a cushion.

Unable to comprehend what I just did, Jaemin blinked in confusion. Then, a few seconds later, he smirked and grabbed another cushion, ready to fight back.

Unfortunately, our childish antics were interrupted by Jiwoo. She was hanging out with Yuta, studying for the exam they had to retake the next day. To be completely honest, she couldn’t have any worse timing. While watching a movie was explainable, it wasn’t the case when it came to an impromptu pillow fight.

“Should I come back later, or something?” Jiwoo asked, pointing at the doors, willing to leave if it meant for me to get laid.

“Nah, Jaemin’s leaving. I am trying to kick him out, actually,” I announced, sticking my tongue out.

On Friday, Jaemin and I planned on going to the arcade. Unfortunately, we had to raincheck that. One of Jaemin’s coworkers fell sick, and Jaemin had to take a double shift at the coffee shop in his neighborhood.

I already had canceled my other plans to hang out with Jaemin, so I didn’t really want to stay at home all by myself. It was a Friday night, after all. Surprising him at work seemed like a better idea. His friends liked hanging out there; therefore, it must’ve been an excellent excuse for a little bit of acting in order to keep up appearances.

Quickly, I assembled a cute outfit and put on light make-up.

About an hour before the closing, I entered the coffee shop. Except for a few students with their noses in their computers, the establishment was empty.

“Welcome to–,” Jaemin hollered, ready to welcome the customers. “Oh, it’s you. What are you doing here?” He asked as a wide smile spread across his face, enjoying my surprise.

“I just came to surprise you,” I confessed, though none of us paid enough attention to the gravity of my words. I genuinely wanted to hang out Jaemin him as his girlfriend. “And I also wanted to get some discounted goodies. What do you have left?” I asked, looking over his shoulder, trying to see what food didn’t sell yet. An hour before the closing, everything on the menu was discounted by seventy percent, and I just couldn’t walk past that kind of deal.

“You’re not the only one who came for cheap stuff,” Jaemin commented as he saw Haechan and Renjun on the other side of the doors. “Take a seat, I’ll bring you your favorite,” he added, and I smiled at him, walking to the booth by the window.

Having finished my Greek sandwich, I focused on my cup of tea. I was scrolling through social media feed, giggling whenever I stumbled upon a funny meme. It was a perfect evening; complete relaxation in the rhythm of soft foreign jazz music playing through speakers, Jaemin checking up on me once every a couple of minutes.

“Oh, hi, there,” Haechan hollered as soon as he noticed me. He must’ve been returning to his table from a restroom. “I didn’t realize you’re here. What’s up?” We weren’t close, so his question was more like a polite generic statement rather than genuine curiosity.

“I’m waiting for Jaemin to finish, so we can hang out at my place,” I answered, hoping Haechan would get the suggestive tone.

“Actually, there’s something you should know,” he said quietly, looking around, probably checking if Jaemin was within earshot. “I am so ashamed it happened, but I really have to tell you something,” Haechan added, and I couldn’t wait for him to reveal the secret.

Haechan was playing dirty. He wanted to tell me about the bet, ruining Jaemin’s chance at getting me to sleep with him. It was some top-tier double-crossing, and I found it impressive. I had no clue Haechan had it in him.

“We shouldn’t have done it. I don’t know why we even agreed to this,” Haechan added, scratching the back of his head, trying to sound genuinely regretful. “I think Jaemin’s not genuine about the thing you have going on. You see, we made a bet. He has to have sex with you, or else he owes Chenle 500 bucks.”

“What?!” I exclaimed, hoping my consternation was believable. At first, I felt the temptation to say something along, yeah, I know, what’s new, but then I decided to play along. It was actually a good idea to make it seem like Jaemin’s about to lose the bet. Knowing them, they wouldn’t call it off. If anything, Jaemin could double the stakes. “No, it can’t be true. Jaemin would never –“

Now, it was my cue to make a scene. Hopefully, it would play out exactly like in my impromptu prediction.

Reaching the stage of fake hysteria, I rose from my seat and stormed to Jaemin. He was energetically wiping off the tables, wanting to leave shortly after the last customer.

“Is that true? Did you really make a bet you can have sex with me?” I yelled at him through gritted teeth. Jaemin, on the other hand, was confused as fuck. “Did you really think you could get away with it? You disgust me!” I shouted, slapping his cheek. “Don’t ever call me again,” I added before I turned on my heel, storming out of the coffee shop.

Being the only employee at work, Jaemin couldn’t run after me.

Jaemin deserved an explanation. I had to fill him in on my wonderful plan before he would blow it in front of Renjun and Haechan.

my love 💖 | 20:46 | play along

my love 💖 | 20:46 | trust me

my love 💖 | 20:47 | kick them out pls

baNANA  🍓  | 20:47 | wtf???

baNANA 🍓  | 20:48 | that hurt

baNANA 🍓  | 20:48 | I didn’t have to kick them out

baNANA  🍓 | 20:49 | they ran out a few seconds after you

my love 💖 | 20:49 | good

baNANA 🍓  | 20:49 | what the hell is going on???

baNANA  🍓  | 20:50 | I am confused

my love 💖 | 20:50 | Haechan ‘told’ me about the bet

my love 💖 | 20:50 | he wanted to double cross you

baNANA  🍓  | 20:51 | what???

my love 💖 | 20:51 | so the plan is

my love 💖 | 20:51 | they know you don’t stand a chance

my love 💖 | 20:51 | so you double the stakes

my love 💖 | 20:52 | and then bam! we win double the money

baNANA  🍓  | 20:52 | wow

baNANA  🍓  | 20:52 | you’re a genius

my love 💖 | 20:53 | I know

my love 💖 | 20:53 | and since I’m acting like I’m not talking to you

my love 💖 | 20:53 | bye 

my love 💖 | 20:54 | see you @ the party!

 ***

Everything went according to my plan. The guys thought I was pissed with Jaemin, while Jaemin still tried to convince them he stands a chance to court me. It was kind of ironic, they wanted to play me, but it was them getting played.

Together with Jiwoo and Ten, we came extra early to Jaehyun’s party. Still being stuck in friendzone, Jiwoo went out of her way to help him out. Today it meant setting up all types of decorations all over the fraternity house and preparing different kinds of snacks.

Around seven, an Uber pulled up in front of our building. Not to brag, but despite the limited amount of time, we managed to dress up to the nines.

I decided to keep it simple. My outfit consisted of a pair of skinny high-waisted black jeans, a long-sleeved sequin embellished crop top, and a pair of ankle-high boots.

Jiwoo, on the other hand, was wearing a two-piece baby pink dress and a pair of massive mid-thigh black leather platform combat boots. She looked fierce, like a weird baby of 90’s Britney Spears and Marilyn Mason.

Though Ten’s outfit looked the most effortless, it took him longer than us to put it together. Having thrown every single thing from his closet on the bed, Ten experienced a mild crisis. Even though he looked gorgeous in everything, he didn’t seem to believe us. Only after the off-hand intervention, he agreed to play it cool with a pair of ripped jeans, a black shirt with three top buttons left untouched, and an oversized leather jacket.

Once we arrived at Jaehyun’s fraternity, nothing was ready. Thankfully, it wasn’t my problem. Jiwoo was the one who volunteered to help out. Ten and I were about to vibe in the corner, letting other people arrange the place according to Jaehyun’s vision.

Trying our best not to disturb others, Ten and I watched the way the smelly fraternity sex mansion turned into a festive valentine’s manor.

“I hope she’s gonna get laid today,” I whispered into Ten’s ear, looking at Jiwoo working like a busy bee around the house.

“She better; that’s really painful to look at,” Ten agreed, looking a little bit disappointed. Jiwoo was at Jaehyun’s beck and call, and it was about time he acknowledged her feelings.

Around nine o’clock, it was getting a little bit crowded.

Music was blasting through the speakers. Some of the fratboys were already looking for their next conquest. Girls were dancing on a makeshift dance floor in the middle of the living area, suggestively swaying their hips, teasing whoever was watching with their sexy moves.

Later on, when I was in the middle of my fourth drink of the night, Jaemin finally showed up. Together with Haechan, Jeno, Renjun, and Chenle, they walked through the threshold. They all looked great, but Jaemin stood out in the crowd. After all, he was the only one to put on a suit jacket over his white T-shirt. While the rest rocked the comfortable outfits, Jaemin opted for a more elegant look.

Almost as if he wanted to impress someone. Or at least, apologize properly, trying every sly trick to make me forgive him.

Upon entrance, his eyes searched me in the crowd, and when he met my gaze, a smile stretched across his face. Shyly, he raised his hand, wanting to wave at me, but since I stubbornly turned my head around, playing my role of offended woman, he lowered it.

“I’ve seen an ATM on our way here,” Renjun commented, knowing Jaemin didn’t stand a chance of winning the bet.

“It won’t be necessary,” Jaemin replied, following me with his gaze. “I didn’t lose it yet,” he added, and the guys laughed at him. There was no way he still thought he could woo me. “I still have a few hours left; I am not going to give up.”

“You’re such a loser,” Jeno interjected as regret washed through him. Although he didn’t actively participate when the bet was placed, he didn’t oppose it. He was an idle bystander, allowing other people to ruin our friendship. It didn’t sit right with him, but it was too late. The damage was already done, and Jaemin was going to embarrass himself even further. “She doesn’t deserve any of this.”

“It’s not like that,” Jaemin started, but he refused to explain how exactly it was like.

“You’re still gonna fail,” Haechan added with a nonchalant shrug of his shoulders. Back at the coffee shop, he ruined Jaemin’s chance for success. “Hey there, beautiful,” Haechan spoke when his attention was snatched by one of the girls who walked past them.

Once the boys divided to greet other friends, Jaemin strolled to the kitchen. I was there, and he needed to initiate the first step of our plan.

Sincere apology.

“Can we talk?” Jaemin whispered as he reached out to grab my hand, interrupting my conversation with Ten and Yeri. “Let me explain. You don’t have to say anything. I just want you to listen to me,” he asked, and I unwillingly complied, letting him lead me toward an abandoned corner in the living area. No one could hear us talk, but at the same time, everybody could see us.

“What do you want, Jaemin,” I barked, folding my arms across my chest, startling myself with how good I managed to behave like an angry ex-girlfriend. Though it was my last semester, maybe I should change my major to professional acting.

“Wow. You’re too good at this,” Jaemin commented before he proceeded with his part. “Anyway, I made this card for you. I hope it finds you well,” he announced before he pulled an envelope out of the inner pocket of his suit jacket.

Cautiously, I took the valentine’s card out of the envelope. Once I saw the front page, I couldn’t help but laugh. Jaemin must’ve done it himself, or he stole it from Jeno’s four-year-old niece. It was all covered in hearty stickers and glitter.

Jaemin definitely wasn’t a poet. He had never stood next to one, either.

Instead of a heartfelt apology and love confession, there was a short corny message which simultaneously made me cringe and chuckle.

Are you a ba-NANA? Cause I find you a-peeling.

From Your Love

P.S. it’s from me, your Jaemin

“You’ve really outdone yourself,” I spoke, shaking my head, trying my best not to grin. I was supposed to hate him, but it was too difficult. “I am gonna walk away now. Approach me once you raise the stakes.”

Although I didn’t want to party without Jaemin by my side, it was what I had to do. Having sent him a faint smile, I turned around and walked away, giving Jaemin some time to initiate part two of our plan.

Having drunk a few fancy shots Ten had made for me, we hit the dance floor. At first, we just jumped in the rhythm. However, when the DJ played the song we had practiced at the dance studio, everybody stepped to the side, making enough room to let us perform the choreography.

With alcohol coursing in my system, my moves weren’t as precise as usual – they still earned a round of applause.

“Hey, hey, hey, are you having fun?” Drunk as a skunk, Jaehyun shouted through the microphone connected to the DJ’s console. “How about we slow up the tempo?” Jaehyun yelled, and everybody cheered, making a lot of noise. “Tonight’s the love festival, and I, the valentine’s boy, specifically request every find a person to slow dance with.”

Having set the microphone aside, Jaehyun pushed DJ away from the console, putting on his Cigarettes After Sex playlist. The first song which graced our ears was Nothing’s Gonna Hurt You.

“Can I have this dance?” Jaemin appeared out of nowhere by my side, extending his hand for me to take. “Please?” He looked into my eyes, waiting for my response, looking hopeful.

As soon as I nodded, Jaemin grabbed my hand and gently pulled me against his firm body, resting his left hand on my back, holding me still, making sure I’d not run away. With my head resting against his chest, we swayed slowly, getting lost in our little world.

“They think I am a terrible person,” Jaemin whispered into my ear, his breath tickling my skin. “They seriously think I’d try to ruin our friendship with this bet,” he carried on, and I hummed, taking an inhale, getting hit with Jaemin’s musky cologne.

The boys truly underestimated the power of our friendship. Jaemin and I told each other almost everything. It was bold of them to assume I had no idea about the bet.

“Don’t worry about it,” I replied as I had closed my eyes, getting lost in the moment. “Everything will come back to normal soon enough,” I added, trying to ignore the bittersweet taste of my statement. Our fake relationship had an expiration date, and it was near.

“You’re right. Everything will come back to normal,” Jaemin repeated my words as he rested his chin on top of my head, pulling me even closer. “You’re the best fake girlfriend I’ve ever had,” he added, pressing an innocent peck against my hairline.

“How many fake girlfriends have you had?” I asked, chuckling, sounding a bit jealous.

“Anyway,” Jaemin started, trying to change the subject. “The guys took the bait. And now, judging by the stupid looks on their faces, they’re shitting their pants.”

“Once the song is over, we should initiate the third phase of our plan,” I commented, wanting to be over with this. In about a minute, I was about to pull Jaemin out of the dance floor and lead him to the bathroom upstairs, where we would do the deed.

When another song from Jaehyun’s playlist echoed in the room, all the other couples kept dancing. Jaemin and I, on the other hand, were about to not so discreetly sneak upstairs.

Unfortunately, we met an obstacle on our path.

It was Jaehyun, pointing his phone at our faces.

“It’s a kiss cam. Do what you gotta do,” he spoke, and I creased my forehead in utter confusion. What the hell was he doing? What the hell was a kiss cam? It was a frat party, not a baseball match. Didn’t he have a beer pong championship to win or something?

“What?”

“Do I really have to explain this to everyone? Jesus,” Jaehyun complained, taking a deep sigh, trying to ease his irritation. “It’s Valentine’s day! I am Valentine’s boy! And this is a kiss cam. You kiss, and I take pictures,” he explained, but I wasn’t convinced. “Hurry up! I have to take like 50 more of them.”

At first, I didn’t want to do it. But then, a thought crossed my mind. Who would believe Jaemin and I had sex if I refused to give him a kiss. It was just one kiss; it wouldn’t hurt.

Having licked my lips, I smiled at Jaemin before I wrapped my hands around his neck, giving him a chaste smooch. It lasted maybe a few seconds, but it still made me uneasy. Even if it was just a brief peck, it was too much for my poor heart.

“What the fuck was that?” Jaehyun groaned in disappointment. “One more time, guys. That’s how you kiss your mother, not your girlfriend. You can do better.”

“Show him how it’s done, Jaemin,” I encouraged him, giving him permission to assault my lips, hoping it would happen to be one hell of a performance.

Having smirked, Jaemin leaned forward, pressing his lips gently against mine. Cautiously, he deepened the kiss, knocking the air out of my lungs, making my legs shake under my weight. His hands held my chin in place as his tongue slipped through my lips.

Out of a sudden, nothing else mattered. Jaemin and I were in our bubble, and despite it being a one-time thing, I wished it lasted forever. Whatever expectations I had about this moment, it wasn’t even close to reality.

Jaehyun cleared his throat, wanting to pull us out of our trance. In vain, though. I moved my lips against Jaemin’s in slow sync, letting the sweet sensation strip me of the last remains of dignity. I was to savor every second of it, basking in bliss.

“Ekhem,” Jaehyun grunted, starting to feel a little bit flustered. “You guys done?”

Once we broke apart to take a breath, Jaehyun spoke again.

“Have you seen Jiwoo, by the way?”

“Yeah, I think she went for a smoke with Lucas,” I answered casually, watching panic display on Jaehyun’s face. It was evident he didn’t fancy the newfound information. “She went outside like half an hour ago, though. I wonder what it takes them so long,” I added, planting another grain of doubt in his subconscious.

As soon as anxiety downed on him, Jaehyun bolted outside. He better, though. If Jaehyun wasn’t going to make a move on Jiwoo tonight, I was about to find another guy to ship her with.

“You did it again,” Jaemin pointed out, and I just shrugged, dismissing his comment. So what? One push in the right direction wasn’t enough for Jaehyun to grow up, so I decided to be generous enough to give him a second chance.

“Are you ready for phase three?” I asked Jaemin, but before he managed to reply, I grabbed his hand, pulling him across the dance floor. Giggling, I ran through the sea of people, not so accidentally bumping into Chenle, almost spilling his beer.

“Oh my god, I am so sorry,” I hollered, giggling. Now, when I had Chenle’s attention, we could sneak upstairs to proceed with the final step of our plan. “Come on, Jaemin, let’s go. I am horny,” I added, probably overdoing my part. Unfortunately, the words were already spoken. I couldn’t take them back.

Having locked the bathroom doors behind us, I jumped onto the countertop. “Don’t you think it’s a bit creepy they’re gonna eavesdrop on us bang? It’s kinda off-putting, you know…”

When Jaemin wanted to speak, somebody knocked on the doors. It must’ve been one of Jaemin’s friends, checking if we were indeed fucking. “It’s occupied,” Jaemin hollered, mentioning for me to start my performance.

“Fuck, Jaemin! Eat me out, already,” I yelled, pressing my hands against my mouth, trying to stifle my laugher. This situation was ridiculous, and I couldn’t help myself but giggle. I had only a few drinks, yet I felt like I was high as a kite. “Yes, like that! Ahhh…”

“Can’t wait to fuck that tight hole,” Jaemin played along, almost dying of alcohol-induced tittering. We were definitely having too much fun.

“Right there, Jaemin!” I screamed, holding my stomach as it began aching due to excessive cackling. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, right there,” I moaned loudly, kicking my head back. “Don’t tease me, please!”

“I gotta get you ready for my cock, love,” Jaemin growled, and I gasped, my mind conjuring the forbidden image®.

“Just fuck me! I need your cock inside of me now!” I groaned, hoping whoever was on the other side of the doors heard enough of what was going inside. “Mmmm… you stretch me out so well…” I purred, almost falling off the counter when another round of uncontrollable laughter tried to erupt from my throat.

“Fuck, you’re still so tight.”

“Jaemin! Fuck, I am close. Keep going,” I yelled, mentally preparing for the big finale. This whole act was a vocal performance, and it was time I finished. “I’m coming! Come with me!”

“It was spectacular,” Jaemin whispered so only I could hear him. “I have one more favor, though,” he added, shying away. Oh no, he was about to ask about something stupid.

“What is it?”

“It could’ve been some random dude,” he admitted, scratching the back of his head, unsure how to voice his supplication. “Give me your panties. It’ll be the definite proof.”

“You’re joking,” I deadpanned, staring into his eyes, waiting for him to say it was just a harmless prank. “You’re serious,” I added as soon as I realized Jaemin meant it.

“Come on, I won’t be sniffing them,” Jaemin nagged, and I rolled my eyes. I didn’t even think about it, but now that he mentioned it, I had another reason not to comply with his weird-ass request. “I’ll give them back, I promise.”

“I can’t believe I am considering this,” I cursed under my breath. If any other person would like such a favor from me, I’d deny it in a heartbeat. Unfortunately, I had a soft spot for Jaemin, so denying him didn’t come easy to me.

Hell, I wouldn’t be here if I was able to say no to him.

“You owe me big time,” I caved in, jumping off the countertop, stepping behind the shower curtain, providing myself with some privacy. “Don’t peek. Even if I slip, you gotta stay on the other side. Got it?” I added as I stuck my head through the curtain.

“Scout’s honor,” Jaemin pledged, and I rolled my eyes. He was a scout for maybe a week. His honor didn’t mean shit.

Clumsily, I took off my shoes and jeans. “Here,” I warned before I threw my panties over the curtain. “I am too sober for this,” I nagged, trying to put my skinny jeans back on.

“Let’s do celebratory shots!” Jaemin suggested, balling up my undergarments, hiding them in his pocket. “We deserve it,” he added, landing me a helping hand when I was stepping out of the shower.

“Let’s go.”

***

Needless to say, Jaemin won the bet.

Unfortunately, it meant the inevitable end of our fake relationship. It was fun when it lasted, and though I’d miss these times, it was time to set the record straight.

As we had discussed, we had to arrange our break up.

Sometime next week, Jaemin stopped by to give me half of the prize. Since the boys had been stupid enough to fall for our little charade, I received a large sum of money. It was Chenle who sponsored the prize. Because of that, I didn’t feel particularly sorry about deceiving them. After all, Chenle was so loaded; he wouldn’t notice if he lost that kind of money on the street. I could finally buy these shoes which I had been dreaming of for so long! Better yet, I'd still have some money left to spoil myself some more.

“How should we do it?” Jaemin asked quietly. Ever since he came, he avoided my gaze, staring at the floor.

“I don’t know,” I unwillingly answered. This conversation was the last thing I wanted to do right now, but it had to be done. Better sooner or later, before I’d catch some real feelings for Jaemin. I had no idea how I would pick up the pieces of my broken heart if we kept this act any longer. “Let’s just delete all posts we published. Someone will figure out something’s wrong, and when they spread the word, we’ll explain we decided to remain friends.”

Maybe I wasn’t in tears, but I felt regret wash through me. Though our relationship had never been a real thing, it felt like it.

And it hurt.

“Alright then,” Jaemin complied, rubbing his hands against his thighs before he pulled out his phone to erase any digital footprint of our brief romance. His thumb hovered over the delete button for a while. After a few moments of hesitation, when he didn’t hear any sign of protest from my side, he pressed it, sending our memories to a bottomless void. “And it’s gone.”

“Are we cool?” I asked, hoping that nothing would change between us. I had a hunch it would take me some time to get used to how things had been before the relationship fiasco. Nonetheless, I still had hope we could remain best friends without any awkwardness.

“Of course,” Jaemin answered with a faint smile, but I didn’t fully believe him. Something was off, and it bothered us. Shame that none of us dared to begin this topic.

After he left that day, we saw each other very seldom. We barely even spoke to one another. If it wasn’t for the group chats we were both in, we wouldn’t talk at all.

Jaemin had said we were cool, but it was evident we weren’t.

It was eating me from the inside out, but whenever somebody asked me about the break-up, I’d always shrug it off, confirming everything’s great. I would tell our friends nothing changed between us. There was nothing wrong; our schedules are just incompatible these days.

When I had pretended I was in a relationship with Jaemin, it was easy. It came naturally, and everyone ate it up without any second thoughts. Unfortunately, now, when I was trying to play it cool, no one seemed to buy it. Thankfully, they didn’t confront me about it. Instead, they offered me their support if I ever needed anything.

In my head, I had a few wild scenarios in which I tell Jaemin we should date for real. However, at the same time, a little devil on my shoulder was telling me it should never leave the realm of fantasy. It’s ridiculous to think Jaemin would reciprocate my feelings.

I felt as if sadness took over my body. Though I was smiling on the outside, I was filled with regret. Barely anything sparked joy these gloomy days. Even this pair of shoes, which I wanted so badly, didn’t stir any positive emotion. I bought them, but I never took them out of the box.

Jiwoo had taken me out on a few girls’ nights to make me feel better. Men are trash – she would always say when Jaehyun ignored her yet another text. Even though they had fucked each other at Jaehyun’s birthday party and agreed to become exclusive, Jaehyun still had lots of problems committing to a monogamous relationship. They hadn’t officially labeled it, but everyone knew Jaehyun was slowly caving in.

Fratboys’ habits die hard, but Jaehyun was finally shaping himself into boyfriend material. He no longer slept around, as far to my knowledge at least, but he still lacked in some departments. For instance, it would take him way too much to text back.

“You were so adorable together,” Jiwoo began after she gulped down another rum and coke. Despite her high alcohol tolerance, she was already drunk, speaking with no filter. “I mean… you were simping for him for so long, and you finally managed to jump that dick.”

“Your point being…” I inquired, finishing my drink. Though Jaemin and I had never had sex, I didn’t want to admit that. What would Jiwoo thought if I told her it was all-pretend?

“I shipped you guys so hard,” Jiwoo confessed. “Ten shipped you too, but he will never admit that,” she added, and I giggled. Now, that was an interesting take. Ten was so random at many aspects of life; it came to me as a surprise he even had an opinion on my relationship with Jaemin. “Can I just take some duck tape and put my ship back together?”

“I am not sure Jaemin would like that,” I answered with a sigh, my mood instantly decreasing.

“Nonsense,” Jiwoo replied in a heartbeat. “This guy is even worse than you,” she revealed, and I rolled my eyes, not buying this. At least a few times a week, at my lowest moments, I happened to check Jaemin’s social media updates. He didn’t seem to mope around at all.

“I find it hard to believe,” I muttered, trying not to get too emotional.

“I mean it,” Jiwoo confirmed her previous statement, eager to explain her thesis. “Jaehyun and I went on a little date to the coffee shop where Jaemin works,” she started, and I nodded, not really sure what she was getting at. Nonetheless, I let her continue. I was curious what Jaemin had been up to. And since he didn’t seem to want to tell me anything himself, I’d accept any type of second-hand information from Jiwoo. “Jaemin misses you. You have no idea how many times I caught him daydreaming. He still has your photo set on his lock screen, and he stares at it a lot.”

Now, that’s interesting.

I had no recollection of Jaemin ever setting my photo as his background picture. Even if Jiwoo was right, it meant he set after we had broken up. It made no sense at all, and I was too drunk to try to comprehend the meaning of this.

Instead, I ordered another round, trying to stifle all the brooding emotions within me.

***

February was the month of parties. Too many birthdays fell during this hectic period, and I had trouble keeping up with them. Fortunately, Ten’s party was the last one of the month. After a small get together at our place, I’d have some time off to relax by myself, most preferably, without alcohol.

Being the semi-hosts with Jiwoo, it was our duty to help Ten organize everything regarding his party. Though our trio was a little bit disorganized, somehow, we managed to get everything ready before anyone arrived.

Maybe it wasn’t comparable to birthday parties at fraternity houses; it still had its charm. It wasn’t as wild, but guests still were having a great time in the company of their closest friends. However, what was the most important, Ten had a blast.

It was his day; he deserved everything he wanted.

Trying my best not to embarrass Ten, I decided to socialize with his friends.

It was time I move on. It took me way too long to mourn a relationship that wasn’t even real. I couldn’t let my brooding mood ruin the party.

“Hmm… Ten has never mentioned you before,” I confessed, not finding it particularly odd. Ten didn’t have secretive nature; he just wasn’t the type of person to over-share. And he often forgot to even mention stuff about his personal life.

“I can’t say I am surprised,” Hendery replied, making me giggle. It was fun chatting with him. Hendery was hilarious, and he knew many secrets regarding Ten. It was my mission to get as much information from him as it was possible. I would need it for blackmailing purposes, of course.

Hiding out in the kitchen, we sipped beer and exchanged rumors as if we were two gossip girls. It was too entertaining to stop. I was incredibly immersed in the conversation; I didn’t even realize when someone tapped my shoulder.

“Can we talk?” I heard the question, recognizing the voice in an instant. It belonged to Jaemin, and it seemed to be laced with both jealousy and irritation. The way he phased his plea gave me flashbacks of the conversation we had at Jaehyun’s party.

I really wanted to continue my discussion with Hendery, but I couldn’t say no to Jaemin. It wasn’t how my brain was programmed. Besides, I missed him a lot.

“Excuse me, I’ll be right back,” I told Hendery before I grabbed Jaemin’s hand, leading him to my room, locking the doors behind us.

“Nothing was supposed to change,” Jaemin started as he sat at the edge of my bed, leaning forward with his upper body propped on his elbows. His gaze was trained on the floor, too frustrated to look up at me.

“I know,” I whispered as I sat down in my chair on the other side of the room. My first instinct was to kneel in front of Jaemin, kiss his forehead, and assure him that everything’s going to be alright.

Unfortunately, it didn’t seem like a good idea, so I refrained from doing so. “I am sorry, it’s my fault.”

“Don’t,” Jaemin interjected before I embarrassed myself even further. “We’re both at fault.”

Despite the loud party noises coming from the other side of the doors, my bedroom was filled with deafening silence. It was awfully uncomfortable, and it was probably a good thing. One of us would get annoyed eventually and cave in, letting out all the bottled up emotions.

“I missed you,” I admitted, staring at my hands. I was all fidgety, and although I was too embarrassed to reveal my inner feelings, Jaemin deserved to know this much.

“I missed you, too,” he genuinely confessed, showing me a shy smile. “Actually, I missed you more than I thought it was possible to miss a person,” Jaemin carried on, and I held my breath, not ready to hear whatever he had to say. “You have no idea how much I wanted to text you or call you, but ultimately decided not to because I was sure you don’t want me to.”

“Jaemin,” I spoke, not really sure what I should say next. I had too many things I wanted to tell him about. However, now when he was here, I couldn’t properly voice my thoughts.

“Are you dating this guy you were talking to in the kitchen?” Jaemin asked out of the blue, catching me off guard with this random accusation. “Or do you want to date him? You two looked like you’re having a great time together,” he added, and I rolled my eyes. At first, Jaemin acted on his jealously, but then, insecurity crept in.

“I don’t know. I met Hendery today, but he seems like a great guy,” I answered honestly, thinking of possibilities of me trying to pursing something of romantic nature with Hendery. After our brief encounter, I could tell he’s fun to be around. And honestly speaking, I might’ve considered dating him if I hadn’t already had feelings for someone else.

Unfortunately, right now, I wasn’t in the right state of mind to date. Not when I was still hung up on my best friend.

“I probably won’t, though. I like somebody else,” I confessed, gaining Jaemin’s interest. Instantly, he sat up, staring into my eyes, patiently waiting for the reveal. “I am stupid, but I like this one guy. He’s such a jerk, I can’t even… he’s been ghosting me for weeks now,” I carried on, hoping Jaemin would get the hint.

Two weeks ago, we promised each other nothing would change. Despite our good intentions, it did. Even though I hadn’t told Jaemin how I really felt, I still lost my best friend.

My silence didn’t save this friendship. I tried to bottle up my emotions to secure our unbreakable bond. It didn’t work, so I figured confessing my feelings wouldn’t do any more harm. Surely, Jaemin was going to reject me, but at least, I’d clear the air between us.

Hopefully, my confession, followed by a harsh rejection, would help me move on.

Instantly, Jaemin ran up to my chair and knelt in front of me, trying to look into my eyes. “Please tell me this jerk is me,” Jaemin urgently spoke, unable to handle any more suspense. Jaemin’s gaze was hopeful, and it was too much for me to comprehend.

“What?” I asked, still being overwhelmed by confusion. What was going on? Why was Jaemin on his knees in front of me? Nothing made sense. How was I supposed to wrap my head around it? “I mean… yeah, it’s you. Who else could it be?”

“You have no idea how sorry I am,” Jaemin confessed as he grabbed my hand and yanked me against his chest, wrapping his arms around me, giving me a tight hug. “You could’ve said something… anything,” he added as he pulled back his head, placing a chase kiss against my forehead.

“I didn’t want to scare you away,” I admitted quietly, unable to break free from Jaemin’s cone-crashing embrace. I couldn’t believe he was so close. Na Jaemin was holding me in his arms, letting me listen to his rapid heartbeat.

“The worst two weeks of my life,” Jaemin spoke, once again breaking the silence. “It felt at least like two centuries,” he added, making me chuckle. Of course, it was an exaggeration, but it’s how I felt, too.

“How about we start over?” I proposed, taking a step backward to have a proper look at him. “Will you go on a date with me? This time around for real, no pretending,” I carried on, trying not to grin like an idiot.

“No.”

“What?”

What the fuck was that?

Did I misunderstand Jaemin’s words? I thought he felt the same, but apparently, he didn’t? Everything suggested he followed my flow only to crush my expectations, later on, leaving a big ass scar and more trust issues.

“I mean yes, but I should be me asking you out. Definitely not the other way around,” Jaemin clarified, making me relax. Thankfully, my mini panic attack was uncalled for. It was just my brain over-analyzing everything, conjuring the worst possible scenario.

“Then you better do your best to woo me,” I teased, wondering if he was willing enough to take the bait. It was just a mere joke, reminding me how it all began. He had wooed me once, and I wasn’t going to oppose to a second attempt. “Fun dates, romantic messages, silly gifts. I want it all,” I added, going a little bit overboard with my request list.

“Everything can be arranged,” Jaemin replied with a lopsided smile before he tightened his grip, almost crashing my bones in the process.

***

Jaemin and I began dating. This time around, it was real; no more pretending, no more stupid bets. Just two people who had discovered friendship could never be enough.

Even though I had told Jaemin I was just joking about this whole wooing thing, he refused to accept it, going to extreme lengths to make my heart flutter. I was already stupidly in love with him, yet he kept trying to make me swoon even more.

Despite our busy schedules, we made sure to see each other every day. It could’ve been a date at the arcade or just a quick coffee or a video call. In all honestly, I gladly accepted any form of contact from Jaemin.

I hated the prospect of going through a day without any message from him.

Except for many mini and maxi dates, Jaemin would also spoil me with plenty of encouraging notes of many kinds. Each massage from Jaemin was even sillier from the previous one. He never ceased to amaze me.

At first, Jaemin would stick post-it notes in different places in my room. Whenever I paid no attention, he would quickly write one for me to find it later. Whenever I saw sleep tight message stuck to my bedpost or you looked extra sexy today attached to the mirror, I smiled like an idiot, imaging Jaemin writing it.

If Jaemin forgot about post-it notes, he would always make it up to me by sending me corny direct messages. We would always text each other before sleep, and Jaemin never failed to make me smile with words such as:

If you happen to have wet dreams of me, you gotta tell me everything that happened. We can recreate it later.

I saw some sexy lingerie on my way home. Your ass would look amazing in it. I’m gonna buy it for you when I get my paycheck.

You’re the reason I wake up in the morning. Just kidding, I have to pee.

Whenever we went out, Jaemin would also scribble something either on a napkin or on a receipt. One time, Jaemin even gave a crumbled piece of paper that he was carrying in his pocket for some reason.

You know I’d give you my kidney, right? And a piece of the liver if you ask nicely. I hope you would do the same for me.

When we have kids, I’ll let you name the first one. Don’t fuck it up.

You’re my favorite pain in the ass.

You are stuck with me. You better get used to it.

Messy notes weren’t sufficient for Jaemin. Although I was more than content with the attention and affection he was giving me, it wasn’t enough for Jaemin. With each massage, he had to out-do himself.

Jaemin even wrote me a song! Or at least, he tried to write me a song.  It was really bold of him to assume I didn’t know the lyrics to Jonas Brothers’ Sucker. I loved this song, and even though I perfectly knew it wasn’t Jaemin’s piece of work, I still appreciated the gesture.

Later on, his love letters reached another level of ridiculousness. Jaemin sent me a love e-mail, and if that doesn’t prove how extra he can get, I don’t know what can.

Jaemin didn’t stop there. No, it was just a warm-up.

When I was checking the mailbox, I found a paper plane stuck in between bills. Jaemin must’ve put it there, probably after one of his frequent visits to my apartment. Though the paper plane was a little bit crumbled, I found it incredibly adorable. On its wing, it had “open me” written with Jaemin’s messy handwriting. Inside there was a corny message that turned my insides in absolute cringe.

Your wings already exist. All you have to do is fly.

A few days later, Jaemin gave me a CD with the love playlist he had made for me. Carefully, he had chosen our favorite songs and burned them on a disc. I had no means to actually play it, but I adored the gesture.

Jaemin’s creativity did not disappoint. At this point, he might send me a love letter via a fax machine, and I wouldn’t be surprised. There were no limitations to his imagination, and it was one of the many things I loved about him.

Neither of us dropped the L-bomb yet, but we really didn’t need to. Though that dreaded word has yet to be spoken, we perfectly knew how we felt about each other. We would do anything for one another; no doubt in that.

Having exceeded my expectations, Jaemin proved himself worthy of being my boyfriend. Or rather, he showed me he was way out of my league. When he was bending over backward, I was passively basking in the glory of Jaemin’s confessions. Relationships were about giving and taking, and it seemed our balance was off.

It was time we switched roles. It was only fair if I tried to creep my way into his heart the way he had been wooing mine.

As soon as I cleaned up the apartment and pampered myself a little bit, I pulled out my phone, quickly texting Jaemin. Hopefully, he wasn’t that busy.

my love 💖 | 18:12 | U want to come over?

baNANA 🍓 | 18:16 | 😏

baNANA 🍓 | 18:16 | You miss me???

my love 💖 | 18:17 |  🤡 🤡 🤡 🤡 🤡

my love 💖 | 18:17 | nvm forget I asked

baNANA 🍓 | 18:17 | 😧 😧 😧

baNANA 🍓 | 18:18 | I’ll be in an hour

baNANA 🍓 | 18:18 | want me to bring anything?

my love 💖 | 18:19 | nah, just get your cute butt over here

baNANA 🍓 | 18:19 | ?????

baNANA 🍓 | 18:19 | are you high??

baNANA 🍓 | 18:19 | should I be concerned?

Okay, I had an hour to prepare something for our impromptu date. It was fine; it was more than enough than I needed. The apartment was already clean, so I just had to whip something to eat and cool the bubbles.

For some reason, I felt in a celebratory mood. Whatever tempo Jaemin and I had, it worked in two week periods. We had fake-dated for fourteen days before we called it quits. Then, we didn’t talk to each other for two weeks. Tonight another period came by, and I wanted to celebrate it, hoping to break the unfortunate chain of bad luck.

The alcohol was already in the refrigerator. Having put on an apron, I opened all the cabinets around the kitchen, quickly analyzing the ingredients and what I can make out of them. It wasn’t much, but pasta would have to be enough.

It wasn’t a fancy dish, but I was made it with love, so Jaemin shouldn’t have any complaints. Pouring my emotions into the pasta was to make it extra flavorful.

When the sauce was slowly cooking on the stove, I decorated the table. I wanted to provide Jaemin with some high-end restaurant experience despite being in my cramped apartment. It was the best thing out of two words; we had all privacy in the world offered by a homely atmosphere, but at the same time, we would eat some beautifully garnished food.

Just when I was about to drain the pasta, someone knocked on the doors.

“Coming,” I hollered before I put the pot in the sink, wiping my hands on the apron before making my way to answer the doors. “Hey there, beautiful,” I greeted Jaemin with a playful remark, standing on my toes to press a brief smooch on his adorable lips. It took him off guard, but in some sense, he liked it.

“Hey, it’s my line,” Jaemin nagged when his hands found purchase on my hips, bringing me closer for another kiss since one was never enough. “What do you have there? It smells delicious,” Jaemin turned his head, trying to peek inside to see what surprise I had prepared for him.

“You know, just some carbs,” I answered vaguely, sending him a playful smirk, not wanting to ruin the surprise. I wanted him to sit down at the table and wait for me to bring the whole dish and pour us some cheap champagne.

Jaemin took off his shoes, kicking them to the side. A second later, he handed me his coat, and I put it on the hanger. Jaemin was wearing a pair of gray jeans and a mint oversized hoodie, and I drooled over this comfortable look. He didn’t have to try hard to impress me.

“Just wait here. I’ll be back in a sec,” I spoke when I guided Jaemin to the table, forcing him to sit down in the chair. Jaemin wanted to help me out in the kitchen, but I firmly refused. Tonight I wished to impress Jaemin; he didn’t have to move a finger.

“I know it’s not much, but I hope you’ll still like it,” I whispered when I put a plate in front of him. “Dig in,” I added as I sat on the other side of the table, carefully trying to pop the champagne bottle open. Though I hated doing it, too afraid of breaking something or hurting someone, tonight I wanted to try it.

“What’s the occasion,” Jaemin wondered as he fondly watched me fight with the bottle. “Do you need some help? You’re gonna hurt yourself,” Jaemin offered, genuinely concerned about my safety. However, I just turned around, wanting to finish it by myself.

It took me good five minutes to pop it. And when I finally did it, Jaemin gave me a round of pitiful applause, officially declaring it’s his job from now on.

“It was just painful to watch,” Jaemin playfully commented, and I kicked his shin under the table, showing him how much appreciated his remark was. “So… what’s the occasion?”

“Do I really need to have a reason to spoil my boyfriend?” I innocently asked, batting my eyelashes, and Jaemin smiled at the word boyfriend. We had never discussed labels, but it was self-explanatory we were in a loving relationship. “I figured it’d be nice to give you some more attention,” I absentmindedly added as I reached for my phone to play some soft EDM music through the Bluetooth speaker.

“Is that it?” Jaemin wondered, gazing into my eyes, searching for any ulterior motive I might have. “Are you sure you’re not trying to butter me up before you say something I may not like? What did you do?” Jaemin inquired, and I chuckled loudly.

“Calm down, Na,” I spoke, making Jaemin look up at me once again. I only called him by his surname when I was extra affectionate, so he was curious what I was going to say. “I just wanted to hang out with you. That’s all,” I confessed, but Jaemin scrutinized his eyes, not really buying my innocent talk. “Okay, fine. There’s one more thing.”

“What is it?” Jaemin inquired, grinning at me.

“Can’t you already tell? I am trying to woo my way into your pants, duh,” I confessed, and Jaemin choked on his champagne as he did not expect this wording. “Your heart! I meant to say into your heart,” I corrected when I realized my little Freudian slip. “Wait, no, screw it. I second that. I want to get into both.”

“You’ve already got into one,” Jaemin declared with a lopsided smirk pinned to his face. “But... if you don’t suspect it already, you’re welcome in both,” he added mischievously, taking a sip of his alcohol. I, on the other hand, looked away, feeling the heat in my cheeks.

“Good to know.”

“Where are Jiwoo and Ten by the way?” Jaemin wondered as he looked around the apartment, finding it suspicious they didn’t crash our date yet. Under typical circumstances, Jiwoo or Ten would haul another chair to the table and steal the food, third-wheeling our date.

“Ten is at the dance studio. He’s having a dance competition next week, so he goes there every time he has some free time to practice. And Jiwoo is with Jaehyun. He came here to pick her up a few hours ago. I don’t think either of them is coming home anytime soon,” I explained, smirking. We had the place to ourselves.

Finally, we could bask in each other’s company without any intrusive guests.

“I’d like to cheers to that,” Jaemin raised his glass, clinking it gently against mine.

Having eaten the food, we moved to the couch.

“What now?” Jaemin asked as he stretched his arm, resting it on the back of the couch right over my shoulders.

“I have one more surprise,” I announced before I jumped to my feet. “Wait a second,” I added before bolting to my bedroom.

“What is it?” Jaemin inquired, having no clue what else I could surprise him with. “What do you have there?” He pressed, tilting his head to the side, trying to see what I was hiding behind my back.

“Let’s take some pictures,” I announced in excitement, showing him my Polaroid camera. “I finally bought some film, and I really want our photo in my wallet,” I added as I plopped down onto the couch, resting my head against Jaemin’s chest. “You take it,” I ordered, handing him the camera. After all, he was the prodigy of photography. Besides, his hands were longer than mine.

“I think that’s more than enough,” Jaemin spoke after snapping the twelfth picture.

Having put the camera on the coffee table, he wrapped his arms around me. Jaemin pulled me on his laps, embracing me tightly, placing a round of pecks against my temple.

“Wait! One more thing,” I hollered, leaning forward to reach for the envelope which was lying on the coffee table next to our photos.

“You can’t say it’s the last thing and then bring another one. That’s not how it works,” Jaemin nagged, a little flustered that I managed to find another excuse when he wanted to cuddle. “Who are you? A fitness instructor? When you say it’s the last one, it should be the last one. You can’t come up with new ones every three minutes.”

“I promise it’s the last one,” I sat cross-legged on the couch beside him, handing him the envelope. Cautiously, he pulled the card out of it, and I looked at him, studying his expression in excitement.

“Annoyingly, I like you way more than I’d originally planned,” Jaemin read the cover of the card, smiling widely at the passive-aggressive message. “It’s already good, and I didn’t even read what you wrote inside,” he commented before he leaned forward to kiss my forehead. “I don’t get it,” he added in confusion as he saw the blank page inside the card.

“It’s my love letter for you,” I clarified, but Jaemin was still clueless.

“It’s a blank page. You really have that little to say?” Jaemin asked, trying to make sense out of my card.

“That’s not how you were supposed to interpret that!” I yelled, climbing on his laps, wanting to tear the card out of his ungrateful hands. Unfortunately, Jaemin’s hands were longer than mine, so even when I was hovering over his thighs, I couldn’t reach it.

“How was I supposed to interpret that then?” Jaemin challenged, holding my hips, forcing them down on his laps.

“I wanted to write something meaningful, but I just couldn’t decide what. I have so many things I want to tell you, it wouldn’t even fit on the card,” I started, trying to find the best way to form a coherent sentence. “One way to interpret it is that you have to imagine it’s written in a very tiny font. Because I have so much to tell you, I wrote everything down, but you just can’t read it.”

“I like it,” Jaemin whispered, pressing a gentle kiss against my knuckles.

“Or you can say it’s blank because whenever I’m with you, my head is completely empty,” I added, chuckling at the corny confession. “Or you can assume there are no words to describe my feelings for you.”

“How is it possible that without writing anything, you managed to top all of my love letters?” Jaemin wondered, smiling at me. “What kind of sorcery is this?”

“No, Jaemin. You’re not giving yourself enough credit. I loved your love letters. They were silly, but at the same time, I could feel you really meant everything,” I reasoned, looking down at Jaemin’s lips, slowly leaning in for a delicate kiss.

“Okay, I have an idea,” Jaemin suddenly spoke as he grabbed my butt and threw me off his laps. “I need a pen,” he added, looking around the living room, finding the pen on the coffee table. In a hurry, he scribbled down something on the blank page of the card, making sure I couldn’t peek. “Here, I found my way to interpret it.”

“Oh?”

“Yes,” Jaemin answered confidently, handing me the card. “Read it out loud for me.”

“Okay, I guess,” I cleared my throat before I opened the card. “My beloved Jaemin,” I read, looking at Jaemin’s face with a raised eyebrow. This was going to be good.

“Carry on,” he urged, and I shook my head, unable to believe I was going to do it.

“You’re the most handsome man I have ever seen. You’re also the smartest and the funniest. Not to mention, you’re the best kisser in the world. What the fuck is this?” I interjected, having doubts, knowing it was a bad idea.

“Just keep reading, babe,” Jaemin ordered, wanting me to carry on with his antics. “Though you’re no poet, it’s, by a huge margin, the best love letter I have ever received,” he added, blowing his ego way out of proportion, and I rolled my eyes.

“Now, when I look at you, I understand there’s not a chance I wouldn’t fall for you. So, since there’s not much space left, I just wanna tell you that I love you. I really love you, Jaemin.”

Before I managed to complain that he forced me to say the L-word first, Jaemin interjected.

“Finally, took you long enough,” he teased, and I sighed, wondering where to hit him first. “As if you haven’t figured it out yet, I love you, too.”

“You’re impossible,” I commented, still not quite sure if we just confessed to each other.

“I’m impossible not to fall in love with,” Jaemin corrected, once again hauling me back on his laps, taking my breath away with a fervent kiss. “How about you show me how you want to get into my pants, babe?”

Having had enough of Jaemin’s teasing, I decided not to comply with his request.

“I think you should go.”

“You’re right,” Jaemin agreed too quickly, and it made me alert. “Let’s go to your room because once I start pounding into you, I will not stop even if a group of nuns was about to break in and steal all of your shit,” he added as he picked me up, carrying me to my bedroom.

“You’re impossible,” I repeated my words when Jaemin threw me onto my bed before he landed on it right beside me.

“I think we’ve already discussed this,” he remarked, reminding me of the remark he had given me earlier. “So… where were we?” Jaemin asked as he put his hand on my side, pulling me closer. Soon enough, his palm slipped under the hem of my shirt, caressing my skin.

“Is it weird that the only thing I can think about is you eating me out?” I wondered out loud, stripped of all remains of dignity. Jaemin was in my bed, and I was planning on taking full advantage of it.

“Not at all, love,” Jaemin replied, showing me his eager smile. Quickly, he sat on his calves between my legs, taking his time to take off my jeans. “I thought about eating you out way too often ever since that thing in the bathroom,” Jaemin confessed as he threw my jeans across the room.

Though my panties were still on, Jaemin began his teasing. His soft lips trailed across my thighs, driving me crazy. His lips touched every inch of my skin except for the area I wanted the most. At this point, my panties were dripping wet, yet he didn’t even think of pulling them to the side, giving attention to my much-ignored core.

“You’re killing me,” I whispered, slowly losing patience. If Jaemin kept up with his antics, I’d combust out of sexual frustration. “Bold of you to assume I won’t let you taste your own medicine,” I warned Jaemin. It worked because as soon as I voiced my mischievous threat, Jaemin’s finger hooked under the hem of my panties, quickly pulling them down my legs.

“You’re no fun at all,” Jaemin clarified before his lips finally landed on my clit, making me buckle my hips in an instant. Slowly, his mouth moved against my sweet spot, and I arched my back with each swirl of his tongue.

Though he barely started, I could feel the electricity coursing through my body. In my state of permanent frustration, it wouldn’t be difficult for Jaemin to make me come against his mouth.

Getting into it, Jaemin squeezed my hips, trying to keep me still when he ate me out. His jaw was dripping in my juices as he made his way down to lick my folds.

“Fuck,” I moaned loudly when Jaemin’s nose rubbed my clit when he was running his tongue all over my entrance. “I think I am gonna come,” I admitted what made Jaemin smirk through the kiss. Jaemin barely touched me, but I was already close.

“Come for me,” Jaemin urged, releasing my hips from his firm grip. Now when I could buckle my hips against his face, my orgasm was just seconds away. With my hand in his hair, I rocked my hips, basking in pleasure.

“I need your fingers,” I begged, and Jaemin quickly obeyed my shameful plea. I expected him to tease me further, denying me his long fingers, but he was kind enough to do anything to make me come.

Thanks to my juices and Jaemin’s saliva, his two fingers slid right in.

“Fuck,” I shouted at the top of my voice when the wave of pleasure shot right through me. Jaemin’s jaw still played with my clit as he continued his actions throughout the orgasm.

“You blew my mind, Jaemin,” I muttered after I regained my focus after he had made me come on his face. “I came so hard,” I confessed, smiling like an idiot. It was way too long ever since someone made me feel this good.

“You better get used to it because I am planning this to be a frequent occurrence,” Jaemin whispered, looking at my face as if it was an art piece. “Do you have condoms?” he casually asked as he pulled down his jeans. His erected cock was restrained in the denim fabric, and Jaemin needed to get rid of it.

“As a matter of fact, I do,” I replied as I opened the bedside table and threw a brand new package of condoms at Jaemin’s chest. “Jiwoo got me those after she walked on our pillow fight the other day. Apparently, she doesn’t want any cum stains on the couch.”

For a while, we were lying on the bed, staring at each other. Jaemin gave me some time to recover from my orgasm. According to him, I needed to take breaks because he didn’t want to over-stimulate me too soon.

“I really love you,” Jaemin confessed genuinely, and I quickly rolled closer to him, giving him another chase smooch. His confession was music to my ears, and I could listen to it on repeat without getting tired of it.

“I love you, too,” I quickly replied, leaning in for another kiss. With his hand on my cheek, he deepened the kiss, giving us another chance to get lost in the love trance.

Having thrown my leg over his hipbone, I hovered over his erection.

“Let me take care of you,” I said as I pulled away from the kiss. With a playful smirk upon my face, I grabbed the hem of my shirt and pulled it over my head. Slowly after, my bra followed suit, and Jaemin grunted upon seeing me completely naked in front of him.

“Sexy,” he purred before he eagerly took off his hoodie, throwing it onto the floor. “On a second thought, maybe you should put something on. You’re too sexy, and I’d like to last longer,” Jaemin explained, handing me his hoodie so I could cover myself up. “No, it’s even worse. Take it off,” he changed his mind after seeing me in his clothes.

Carefully, I pulled Jaemin’s boxers down his legs, letting his rock hard cock spring free. Biting on my lips, I grabbed his erection, giving it a few gentle strokes.

“Fuck it, I am ready,” Jaemin yelled, placing his hand over mine, making me stop. “You have all the time in the world to blow me. Right now, I want to feel you,” he added, quickly pulling out a condom from its packaging.

“Let me at least roll it down for you,” I offered, and Jaemin sighed, weighing his options.

“Nah, I am not willing to take that risk,” Jaemin answered, proceeding to wrap his cock by himself. “Now, come here, sit down on it,” he urged, and I shook my head. Smiling like an idiot, I guided his cock towards my entrance, slowly sinking down on his length.

“You’re good?” I asked, trying to guess what was going on inside his brain. Judging by his sour expression, he must’ve been thinking about something terrible in order to stop himself from coming too soon.

“Yes, everything’s cool,” he reassured, and I took it as permission to gently rock my hips back and forth. Whenever I moved, Jaemin kept grunting quietly. Apparently, he also suffered from sexual frustration.

My hands were wandering all over his muscular chest, admiring his athletic built. My hips were moving at a steady rhythm, but whenever I happened to increase the tempo, Jaemin would slow me down with a firm grip on my hips.

“If you keep doing that, I might spank you,” Jaemin warned me, but it only made me want to disobey more. “Why did I even expect you to be a good girl?” Jaemin asked, rolling his eyes.

“Spank me,” I ordered, trying my best not to chuckle. “I dare you,” I added, pushing the right buttons. “Like that,” I moaned when Jaemin’s hand collided against my butt, shaking me with newfound excitement.

“You’re impossible,” Jaemin comment, still in shock after discovering how much into spanking I happened to be.

“I’m impossible not to fall in love with,” I remarked, using Jaemin’s own words against him.

Unable to handle my teasing, Jaemin sat up. “I love you so much,” Jaemin stated once again before he looked at my lips, kissing them. Now, when I was distracted by his tongue, it was easier for him to control my movement.

In our upgraded position, I significantly slowed down. Carefully, I moved up and down Jaemin’s cock, while he sneaked his hand between our entangled bodies, rubbing my clit. I was close, and I was about to come again.

I didn’t know what he was so self-conscious about. No doubt I would come first.

“Jaemin, I am coming,” I breathed out, messing up my rhythm. It was difficult to maintain the same tempo when Jaemin was playing with my clit. Jaemin’s lips moved down my neck, finding a perfect spot on my collarbone to leave a hickey.

“Me, too,” Jaemin whispered as he began thrusting from underneath me, now desperate to push the both of us off the edge. “You’re so tight, fuck,” he cursed as my walls started to swell around his throbbing cock.

Jaemin moaned against my skin, muffling his sinful sounds. I, on the other hand, screamed Jaemin’s name at the top of my voice, telling everybody in the world he was the person, making me feel this good.

Having fallen onto the sheets, we looked into each other’s eyes. We were panting as if we just ran a marathon. Not that I had any doubts, but Jaemin turned out to be a passionate lover, and it made me love him even more.

“You’re beautiful,” Jaemin complimented me, staring at my face in utter admiration. “I am so lucky,” he added, and I moved closer, snuggling up to him. It was still early, but I was so fucked out, I could fall asleep right there in his arms.

Having pulled me closer to his chest, Jaemin threw a duvet over our sweaty bodies. His fingers were tracing shapes on my shoulder when he pressed yet another peck against my temple.

“Are you down for another round?” Jaemin asked as he discarded the full condom. His cock was still semi-hard. In a few minutes, Jaemin would be ready for some more. “It’s cool if you’re not,” he added, trying not to put any pressure on me.

“I want you to do me all night,” I confessed, looking over my shoulder at the clock. It’s only 8 pm, and I could stay up till daylight with Jaemin.

“Do you want to go bowling tomorrow?” Jaemin asked, and I eagerly nodded. It was fun the last time I had joined the boys on their monthly trip to the bowling alley. Besides, I would be the first woman to break the unfortunate one-time-only curse. I couldn’t wait to show up two months in a row.

“I’d love that,” I answered, snuggling closer to Jaemin’s side.

In content, we basked in happiness until Jaemin regained enough energy to go for the third time. However, this time around, it was slow and steamy. Under the covers, Jaemin crawled on top of me, kissing every inch of my body.

“Do you want to roll it down on me? I think I can handle that,” Jaemin asked, and I reached for the condom, carefully rolling it down his length. “I wish I could fuck you without one, though,” he added, and I flicked his forehead, making him whine. “I’ll pull out.”

“I trust you, but it’s still a no from me,” I replied, guiding his cock into my entrance. Inch by inch, Jaemin pushed himself all the way in. “You fill me up so well,” I praised, purring into his ear. “I love your cock.”

Distance between our bodies was practically nonexistent. Jaemin was slowly snapping his hips, rubbing his pelvic bone against my clit, turning me into a moaning mess. I wouldn’t be surprised if my neighbors called the police because of all the noise coming from my bedroom.

“One day, you’ll let me fuck you raw. I’ll make sure you do,” Jaemin carried on, and I hissed, feeling the approaching orgasm. I didn’t even bother to comment on Jaemin’s statement. I was whipped for him. I knew I wasn’t able to maintain my assertive stance for long. Eventually, I’d cave in, letting him fuck me without a condom. It wasn’t today, though.

“In your dreams, lover boy,” I answered, but Jaemin just giggled, knowing I wasn’t serious.

“You have no idea how many times we’ve done it raw in my dreams,” Jaemin confessed as he picked up his pace, pounding into my pussy, making me moan at the sudden speed. “One day, I’ll tell you all about my fantasies, but right now, I really want this pussy to cream around my cock,” he added, his filthy words making my walls squeeze around his length.

“You wait until I tell you mine,” I challenged with a smirk. If Jaemin thought he was the only one with a dirty mind, he was seriously mistaken. While most of my fantasies were PG-13, there was still a large portion of naughty scenarios. Now, when Jaemin and I were finally together, it would be fun to try to recreate at least some of them.

“You better come because I can’t go much longer,” Jaemin warned me, pounding in and out, chasing his own release. “Fuck,” he yelled, falling on top of me as he shot his load into the condom. His cock twitched inside of me as he moved slowly, riding out his orgasm.

“Jaemin,” I hollered, coming undone underneath him. Despite the other peaks, this orgasm hit me the hardest. For a brief second, my vision turned black as I gave in to the pleasure.

Breathlessly, I lay in the sheets, slowly descending from my high.

“I think all I can do tonight is cuddle,” I commented, feeling too fucked out to engage in any other form of affection. “I don’t think I can walk.”

“It’s okay. I can carry you around the house,” Jaemin answered, finding a solution for my problem. Having pulled his limp cock out of me, Jaemin rolled down another condom, putting it aside.

“What is it?” Jaemin asked as he heard a noise from the living room.

“It sounded as if someone was knocking on the doors,” I spoke, trying to identify the sound. “It must be a courier for Jiwoo. She keeps ordering stuff online. It’s probably the late evening delivery she forgot about. Can you get it?”

“No problem, babe,” Jaemin answered as he put on his jeans, walking around the bed to answer the door.

At first, I wanted to wait for Jaemin in bed. However, it’s been like three minutes, and he didn’t come back, so I found it weird.

Having put on Jaemin’s hoodie and a pair of leggings, I made my way out of the room.

Jaemin was standing by the doors, looking inside a plastic bag. Whatever it was, it smelled like Thai food. Unfortunately, it didn’t explain anything. We were here alone, and we didn’t order anything.

Just when I was about to open my mouth and ask Jaemin what the hell was going on, Ten walked out of his room. It was strange, but I saw him leave, and I didn’t hear him come back.

“What the hell are you doing here?” I asked angrily, trying to hide my embarrassment. If he was here the whole time, he must’ve heard us having sex.

“I live here, duh,” Ten answered matter-of-factly, choosing not to give me the explanation which I desperately needed. “I think it’s mine,” Ten spoke as he walked up to Jaemin to take his Thai takeout.

Although Jaemin and I were standing in the living room in complete consternation, Ten didn’t seem to pay any attention to it. In front of his bedroom, Ten stopped in his tracks, turning his head to face me.

“Congratulations, by the way,” Ten spoke, making me even more embarrassed. “Three times, wow. It’s impressive. Don’t fuck this up, dear. He’s a keeper,” Ten added, sending me a playful wink before he disappeared inside his room.