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teklarn · 3 years

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𝔂𝓸𝓾'𝓻𝓮 𝓷𝓸𝓽 𝓶𝔂 𝓫𝓸𝔂𝓯𝓻𝓲𝓮𝓷𝓭 - 𝓴. 𝓫𝓪𝓴𝓾𝓰𝓸𝓾 (𝓹𝓽.4)

character(s): katsuki bakugou x gn!reader (x eijirou kirishima)

a/n: y’all it makes me so happy how many people like my work oh my gosh i’m so motivated when enthusiasm shows tytyty <33

𝕣𝕖𝕓𝕝𝕠𝕘𝕤 𝕒𝕣𝕖 𝕘𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕥𝕝𝕪 𝕒𝕡𝕡𝕣𝕖𝕔𝕚𝕒𝕥𝕖𝕕 !!

summary: bakugou x gn!reader. they have feelings for one another but have no idea how to express them, however y/n has someone pining for their attention.

genre: angst

warnings: mutual pining, cussing, aged-up to third years, love triangle, romantic tension, one-sided pining, jealousy, toxic kirishima (ok but like he’s hot tho), slowburn romance, not proofread

word count: 2423

- - -

part 3 , part 5

you twiddled your thumbs in front of the poster. a halloween party? next month? it’d come as a surprise how fast the holiday was coming up.

your stomach filled with butterflies, however, it sunk when you remembered what had happened last night.

the little fight you had with kirishima. how it seemed like he suddenly hated bakugou, who was one of his best friends. you didn’t want to believe that kirishima could have had feelings for you. perhaps he was just protecting you.

you sighed. you truly didn’t want to fight with either of them. maybe kirishima was right. he did know bakugou better than you, but to your knowledge, bakugou had never had a relationship.

maybe kirishima was trying to say that bakugou would be toxic in the sense that he would never pay attention to you. perhaps he would be too focused on becoming the number one hero.

whatever. it didn’t matter now.

the poster listed that it was going to be a costume party, and dressing up was mandatory. you were good friends with mei hatsume from the support group, so she would be going all-out for the season. you wondered if she’d be able to whip something up for you, too.

you had a few minutes left before class started, surely she should be available for a little bit of chatter. besides, mei hatsume never turned down a new project.

turning, you started your way to the support classrooms just to be stopped, come face-to-face with the one person you’d been trying to avoid all day. “i don’t want to talk right now, kirishima,” you snapped. perhaps you were being a bit harsh, but he was the one trying to control you, was he not?

“then don’t talk, y/n. i’ll talk.”

you shoved past him, clutching your books to your chest. “no.”

“just hear me out, okay? last night was...i didn’t mean to seem-”

“seem what? possessive? rude? like an overprotective, jealous boyfriend?”

“in no way was i trying to come across as any of those, trust me y/n.”

you continued on your way to the support classes only to find him standing before you again. You sighed, tightening your grip around your books. “what.” you commanded him, you didn’t ask.

kirishima let out a sigh of his own, letting his arms fall to his sides. “can we just...talk? we’re friends, and we’ve always communicated well with each other.”

“communication was out of the question yesterday, wasn’t it?” you attempted shoving him away to continue on your way, but he caught your shoulder, finger pads digging into your skin possessively.

“please, y/n.”

you looked down your nose at him. “fine. say what you so badly want to get out.”

“listen, i-”

the bell rang, and students went rushing back into their classrooms. you shrugged, victorious. “looks like the bell isn’t on your side either, kirishima.”

you heard him sigh in defeat, but did not look back.

---

there was something about the way kirishima was suddenly looking at you that bakugou didn’t like. at all. his pencil snapped in his grip, chips of wood and led flying into the air.

speaking of kirishima, what was up with him lately? everything was suddenly about you. he was always around you. sure, throughout the years, you two had gotten closer, but kirishima looked just about ready to abandon bakugou’s ass on the side of the road.

as usual, aizawa would be a bit late. in about ten minutes, the man would come wandering in, bags hanging low under his eyes, and instruct the lesson before falling back into his much-needed slumber.

that was when bakugou would interrogate kirishima. but first, he needed to talk to you. needed to be sure he was on the winning side before anything happened between kirishima.

bakugou walked over to your desk, tugging at your sleeve to get your attention.

“hm?” you looked up from your notebook. “yes, bakugou? do you need something?”

“yeah,” he replied, scratching the back of his neck. “you saw the poster too, right? the one about that stupid dance.”

“well, i don’t think it’s stupid. it looks fun! don’t you think?”

he drowned himself in your eyes. “mhm.”

“so, did you still need something?”

“got any costume ideas in mind?”

you feigned surprise. “katsuki bakugou? are you saying what i think you’re saying?”

he licked his lips. gosh, the way his name rolled off your tongue sounded the way honey tasted. “don’t push it.” he grinned. “still considering it.”

“well, if you’re thinking of going, you definitely should. i’m buying tickets with mina and kaminari if you’d like to tag along.”

“tag along?” he let out a breathy chuckle. “i’ll be the star of the show if i ‘tag along’, you got me?”

you gave him a side smile. “mhm. but you do realize how hectic it’s gonna be there, right? i mean, you’ve got to pick something that...pops, y’know?” your fingers sprung out to add emphasis.

“whether i wear some stupid costume or not, i’m still going to be the star of the show. you got that?”

you knew he was only teasing. if it’d been the bakugou from before, he would have most likely meant it, however, you knew how he openly teased you now. strangely, it was only you who he was so open with.

bakugou smirked, leaning down to raise your chin with his fingers. “i’ll go if you go.”

he had your heart pacing rapidly. “mhm.”

“use your words.”

“yes, i think i’ll go.”

“you think?” he taunted.

“i will go.” you cleared your throat. “bakugou.”

“good.” his gentle fingers let go of your chin and he wandered back to his desk, eyeing you from there for a moment before flicking open a textbook and reading.

you diverted your eyes back to your notebook, hands shaking as you wrote down the date. you scribbled down your name three times in the top right corner just to look busy.

adjusting your elbow, you did your best to make it look like you were merely leaning your cheek on your hand in a bored manner. gosh. you could still feel his eyes burning into you, demanding. serious. gorgeous and blood red.

kirishima was right about you having feelings for bakugou. however you sat there conflicted for a little while.

bakugou had just approached you in a similar manner as kirishima. did kirishima..?

no, you two were only friends.

you shook your head, still doing your best to conceal the stupid grin crossing your cheeks.

everyone knew that telling other people if you were just friends with someone after they asked, one person had feelings for the other at least. it was another thing asking yourself that.

- - -

it was just a week before the dance, and you still had yet to choose a costume. mina and kaminari had offered you a few of the costumes she’d worn at previous halloween parties, but none had appealed to you.

you wanted something fresh. wanted something that you’d feel like you would have fun in.

“wouldn’t dressing up as a pirate be really, i don’t know. i just feel like it’d be super super hot in the gym.”

mina rolled her eyes. “well duh, you look hot in everything, y/n.”

you scoffed. “thanks, but i’m not sure about that.”

“kirishima seems to think so,” kaminari teased from inside the change room. all three of you were currently at a thrift store trying to find matching costumes.

you rolled your eyes, disregarding the fact he couldn’t see. “don’t bring him up. please.”

“what happened between you two?” mina asked, slipping the costume back onto its hanger. she slipped it back into its spot on the rack and began sifting through new clothes. “you guys just suddenly stopped talking.”

you shrugged. “he’s just been...off lately. you know? i don’t know how else to explain it. but ever since that incident where he broke bakugou’s nose-”

kaminari peaked out from the curtain, jaw dropping. “he broke bakugou’s nose?”

you waved him off. “yes, now let me finish. kirishima did this thing where he just...he acted all protective in private and then tried to apologize for it the next day. he kept telling me stuff like bakugou wasn’t good for me and everything.”

mina blinked, jaw dropping to the floor. “honey, what?”

she and kaminari exchanged shocked glances before she popped a hip out and put her fist to it.

“bestie, honey. you really are oblivious, aren’t you?”

you let out an exasperated breath. “he told me that, too! he pinned me to the wall and was like, oh, you’re so oblivious.” you imitated his voice, puffing out your chest to mock his stockiness.

“baby, baby! do you hear yourself?” mina shook you, taking you by your shoulders. “what the heck? are you blind? he’s down bad for you!”

“bad? if he had feelings for anyone, not just me, i think kirishima would be a little more considerate.”

“but it’s bakugou,” kaminari chirped in. “he knows he won’t win if he doesn’t get you now.”

“please, bakugou doesn’t win at everything.”

mina raised an eyebrow. “but you already have feelings for bakugou, so technically he’s already winning.”

you pursed your lips. “i guess, but if kirishima really had romantic feelings for me, he’d be less of an ass about it.”

“is he going to the dance?” kaminari closed the curtain, rustling around to change back into his clothes once more.

“i’m pretty sure.” you began sifting through clothes with mina. “bakugou said he’d go if i went. so i’m guessing kirishima is going to be there, too. bakugou and he are never apart.”

mina slapped her thigh in disbelief. “do you hear yourself, babes?” she wore a stupid grin. “i haven’t seen those two together since...i don’t know, not for the past month. they’re fighting over you, whether you realize it, whether they realize it.”

kaminari let out a false moan. “oh to have those two fighting over me.” he came out of the change room dressed in his own clothes.

“did the costume not fit?” mina asked.

“my fat ass is too fat for it. i’m too hot to be a pirate.” he posed, mimicking aoyama.

“your ass is flatter than a pancake, kaminari.”

you chuckled, but couldn’t help thinking about what mina was saying. as your two friends began chatting away, you lost yourself in your thoughts.

the three of you sat down for dinner at a cheap restaurant. mina and kaminari had bought a matching costume set, and you were still left without one. the two had left for the bathroom, leaving you sipping your own drink alone.

your chest sank into your stomach when a familiar head full of red, the roots beginning to darken, stepped into the restaurant. he ordered what you’d guessed.

he waited for the meal to be prepared for take out, rocking back and forth on his heels and whistling softly.

thankfully, you felt someone rest a hand on your shoulder. you turned, expecting to see kaminari or mina attempting to save you. instead, you found a strange man. he looked to be around your age. you vaguely recognized his face. perhaps you’d seen him around yuuei before.

uncomfortable, you shoved his hand off. “please go away.”

kirishima blinked slowly when his eyes found you. you did not attempt to hide your annoyance.

you wanted to tell both of them to go away as the man started flirting with you. it should be expected. this wasn’t the best place to be hanging out, either.

you heard footsteps rushing up, and soon, a hand clamped around your wrist. you cried out as kirishima pulled you out of your seat.

“do you have an issue?” he demanded, eyes boring into the man’s.

the man licked his lips. “you seem like you have an issue, here.” his words slurred grossly. “we were over here minding our own business.”

“they don’t want it.” kirishima snapped.

“kirishima, i can handle this myself. you tried to shove off his grip. he let go, knowing that this wasn’t truly how he wanted to approach you.

“see?” the man said. “they’re fine.”

“get out of here.”

“kirishima, what’re you-”

the man put his hands up in surrender and wandered out.

you pushed kirishima back. “what the hell?”

“fine. be mad at me, but he was invading your space.”

your brow furrowed. “you’re one to talk! do i need to put some kind of restraining order on you? you keep following me everywhere.”

“not anywhere! this was a coincidence.”

you shook your head. “it’s pointless trying to argue with you. you’re so toxic!”

kirishima tongued the inside of his cheek. “think what you want, y/n. i could see you were uncomfortable, anyway.”

“no, kirishima. i don’t need your saving. i don’t need you to swoop in and pretend like you’re my hero. you’re not. don’t talk to me again unless you’ve grown the hell up.”

as if on queue, the bell rang and kirishima’s packaged dinner was presented in a paper bag. he gave you a good, long hard stare before taking his dinner and leaving.

your chest heaved with anger. you wanted to make him angry. if he felt romantic feelings towards you, you wanted to make him jealous.

you gave mina and kaminari a text that you’d be going home early. it was only a half-lie. you ran to hatsume’s dorm and knocked loudly. she opened the door without hesitation and grinned widely at the sight of you, already knowing you needed something.

kirishima was obviously so damn jealous of bakugou, wasn’t he? mina was right. he wouldn’t be able to compete. and you were going to make sure he knew that.

the blaring lights, the music louder than bakugou’s explosions. students disguised as their favorite characters.

it was hectic, you were right about that.

kirishima stood beside him. they’d both decided to dress in their hero costumes. the tension between them was still unspoken. they felt like strangers.

their eyes scanned the crowd, and bakugou’s landed on you first, kirishima following closely after.

he couldn’t help the warm, victorious feeling in his chest as he glanced to the side at kirishima’s expression.

kirishima’s chest caved in. you’d dressed in...who had made it?

“they’re dressed as...you,” he said, aghast.

bakugou grinned, watching you dance under the lights in your own rendition of his hero costume, that orange x crossing your chest oh-so-nicely.

- - -

tags: (if you want to be tagged in future parts, let me know!!)

@heizenka @misssugarless

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inkla-kirisame · 3 years

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Theory: Baizhu is...?

Disclaimer: this is a theory, it doesn't have to be true, if its false, don't blame me, I warned you beforehand

Also, take this with humor and not to seriously

And spoilers of Liyue's or Xiao's lore

Ok let's begin with this

It seems that Baizhu is an outlander like Albedo or Amber's grandfather (just examples, they had nothing to do with this) but he does have a vision, a Liyuan one, but Zhongli didn't seem to know about him... So he is probably of Liyue or he has more than he looks like

So either Baizhu is a snake like creature (like a lamia), or is he an Adeptus?

Exhibit 1: let's take a look to his face

Author, more close

His face seems familiar... Were did I see it? Oh wait-

They had the same make up, and believe me when I said that almost all the Adepti use the same make up (only Madame Ping and Mountain Shaper (I think)) use that type

Also, Xiao and Baizhu have the same pupils

Ok, maybe I'm wrong but as I said before, don't take this seriously, but if it's true I f-ing called it

Exhibit 2: Baizhu's sickness

If you have Qiqi or talk with Herbalist Gui, you'll know that Baizhu has a sickness that made him frail, Qiqi mentions that even tho she's a zombie, she's much better than Baizhu

So why this is important?

I don't know what sickness he has but if this is true, I may know were he got his sickness

'Some of the archons' souls were filled with bitterness at their fate, and refused to suffer it any longer. Their bitterness materialized and became evil monsters. The monsters' rage manifested itself in the form of diseases, monster infestations, and all kinds of other strange occurrences' is a little extract of the book Yakshas: The Vigilant Adepti, you can see were this is going

So, I think Baizhu was a Yaksha, to be more precise, Bosacius

If you did the Yaksha's wish, you'll know that Bosacius was the missing Yaksha, and is presumably dead

In this quest you encounter his statement, were he leaves his wealth to the one that's fated to it, in simple terms, you

So, this is my theory, Bosacius was contaminated by the corruption and disease, so once his duties were done, he would end his suffering, but he might failed and/or was saved by Changsheng

If this is true, Changsheng might be like Qiqi, someone who has Adeptal energy or because an Adepti, but my only exhibits with this are that she can speak, that she's been with Baizhu for a very long time and that she's diurnal

But hey, before you said 'BuT oZ iS-!' Oz is probably a manifestation of Fischl's vision's powers

Either way, at some point, Bosacius changed his name to Baizhu and at some point meet Changsheng, later open (or began to work at) the Bubu Pharmacy, he took Qiqi in, while trying to cure his disease, hint why Herbalist Gui tell us that he's ill since they first met til today and hasn't gone better

And if you look at Baizhu for the very first time, would you tell me that he's sick? Because for me, he isn't

Now this could apply to Rouran but we 'haven't' met him nor have a model of him, neither more information about him other than he's male, the owner of Pearl Galley, we meet him without noticing, and that he is physically frail

So that it, that's the theory

I'm going to admit that I was planning on taking about his medicines because they mentioned that they are traditional, and I thought 'oh! Maybe Guizong showed him how to made them?'

Anyways, sorry for not posting here (I decided to work on many oneshots and never finished them), many things happened but I got a Diluc (in Zhongli's banner (yay!)) a Jean, Wolf's gravestone and another Mona (got one earlier) on the Wanderlust Invocation while trying to get the Primordial Jade-wingded Spear for Xiao and thanking Paimon that I don't need any 4 star of Ganyu's banner nor their constellations, and I don't want Ganyu honestly (for now) I waited since the beginning for Xiao and I will get him

Have a great day/night, stay safe, take care of your self and good luck with your pulls

And for the Xiao's simps or stans, keep going! We only need to suffer for like 20 days before his banner (if he goes first (which I hope so))

Edit 1 (18/1/2021) (don't know how many edits this will have):

Thanks for the likes, this literally blew up, and I really wanted to say that I appreciate it

Anyways, this edit is short because I just saw Baizhu's vision and a little thought I had so

Exhibit 3: Baizhu's vision

That vision chain thing and Xiao's shoulder pad (?) look so similar (for me) that I actually suffer through an Mandela effect (I thought that Baizhu's vision chain was identical to Xiao's shoulder pad)

This doesn't add to much but I kinda find it curious (if you want, picture me with the clown wig and make up, I don't blame you)

By the way, the daughter that Huixin mentions she has is Yaoyao? Honestly, it wouldn't surprise me, someone tasked Ganyu to take care of her, and that someone is working in the Ministry of civil affairs, and the first thing that comes in my mind if you ask me of someone who's Ganyu's underling, the first thing that comes to my mind is Yaoyao, if it's true tho... I called it!

#genshin impact #genshin impact baizhu #baizhu #genshin impact theory #genshin impact xiao #xiao #genshin impact zhongli #zhongli

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lesbianakaashi · 3 years

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The Forgotten Shounen: Katekyo Hitman Reborn

This is not a “Why you should watch/read khr” or anything like that. This is just me going into the deep dive and throwing my findings at you. I’m making this because khr used to be my favourite series when I was 15 (I had plushees, posters, tradingcards, the art book etc) and now as an adult I constantly find myself baffled at how unknow it seems to be.

1. Okay first what is khr?

Katekyo Hitman Reborn! or just Reborn! is a series by Akira Amano which was published in Weekly Shounen Jump from 2004 to 2012 (with 42 volumes) and got an anime adaption which run from 2006 to 2010 on Tv Tokyo (with 202 episodes and one OVA).

2. What’s it about?

Khr is a parody of the italian mafia and plays in a world where the mafia is heavily influencial. The protagonist is the japanese middle schooler Sawada Tsunayoshi who is known as “No good Tsuna” because of his failing grades, general weak and cowardly personality and weak physics.

He becomes aware of the mafia world when a 2 year old baby called Reborn arrives at his house claiming to be the greatest hitman and declaring himself his home tutor. Reborn was send by the 9th head of the Vongola famiglia who is ready to retire and looking for a new heir. Which of course, is supposed to be Tsuna and now it's Reborns job to shape him into a worthy sucessor.

Tsuna rejects the violence of the mafia world and refuses the position as the 10th. Thanks to Reborn and his general craziness Tsuna meets different people and starts to make real friendships. Reborn wants 6 of those friends to be Tsuna's future guardians, basically a group of people which will be closest to him in the vongola famiglia. Tsuna might have no interest in those positions but the friendships he builds with them become really precious to him.

Reborns arrivial also brings in the enemies of the Vongola family which leads to Tsuna being forced to engage in battles. Generally Tsuna openly avoids fights and prefers to run away but will put himself in danger for his friends' sake or because of something Reborn did.

Through out the series Tsuna matures and gains strenght but he never becomes a power fantasy. He's just a guy with many flaws who grows through the human connections he makes.

Personally I think the relationship between Reborn and Tsuna is one of the best student teacher reltaionships in all of manga only topped by Mob and Reigen from Mob Psycho 100. Especially the last arc really underlines their unique relationship to me.

Furthermore, khr offers a new and unique battle system: The flames. I'm not gonna go into to too much detail but the general idea is that one fights with their dying will flame which basically turns off your the savety switch so you can fight with everything you have. The flames are seperated into different categories such as: sky, storm, mist, rain, sun, lightning and cloud and have different attributes asigned to each one. Tsuna's use of the sky flame and his transformation when using it is still one of my favourite shounen transformations to this day.

3. What happened?

The series did really well and then not so well over the course of its serialisation. After the manga got an anime adaption it increased in populairty and video games, light novels, and other products such as CDs were created based on the series. Reborn is one of the best selling series of Weekly Shōnen Jump and has sold around 30 Million volumes overall. It was and still is very popular in Japan but rather unknown in the west.

According to the article "The Rise and Fall of Weekly Shonen Jump: A Look at the Circulation of Weekly Jump" khr was the 10th bestselling series in Weekly Shōnen Jump, with a total of 7 million copies sold in 2007.

This number increasing to 15 milion in 2008. Which placed khr into the 4th best selling series of 2008 in Japan.

Between 2008 and 2010 those sales declined but still kept strong with khr as the 6th top selling manga in 2009, 8th best selling in 2010 and then 24th best selling in 2012.

In November 2014, readers of the Da Vinci magazine voted khr number 17 on a list of Weekly Shōnen Jump's greatest manga series of all time.

After the anime came to an apprupt stop in 2010 for unknown reasons the manga sells took a visible hit. (Apparently the studio wanted to put the anime on halt because they were busy with other projects and give Akira Amano time to develop her story but I couldn't find any source for this claim) Furthermore, the rushed last chapters of the manga in 2012 declined the popularity of the series even more. There's no offical statement as to why the manga was ended in such a way but it's reasonable to assume that Jump either cut it considering the decreasing sales or Akira Amano choose to end it for personal reasons.

Nontheless, Tsuna not being included in Jump Force (a fighting game where you can play as different characters from Jump) in 2019 even tho he made it in earlier Jump Stars games also underlines the decreased interest in the series.

Rumors on a reboot or anime adaption of the last two arcs surface from time to time but are genereally unlikely. Artland the studio which made khr has gone bankrupt around 2015-2016. It might be taken on by another studio but rather uncommen especially with such an old series.

4. Art style

The khr anime ended over 10 years ago and the old art style might not be appealing to newer audiences.

Especailly because the anime adaption follows Akira Amanos old art style which heavily developed within the years. Here a picture comparing characters in the new art style:

A modern anime adaption in the new art style would be aesthetically pleasing. It would probably look similiar to Psycho Pass since Akira Amano did the concept art for this series.

(My personal art student hot take is that both art styles are unique and fun. Up to this day Akira Amano still has my favourite art style and even if the amount folds in the characters clothing is a little extreme I love it dearly.)

5. Criticism

The show is not without flaws and even if I greatly enjoy it it wouldn't be right not to adress them.

Daily Life Arc:

A lot of people view the first 20 to 25 episodes as fillers and quickly lose intererst in the series. This is due to the fact that Akira Amano inteded the series to be a gag manga and focuses the first chapters on world building, character introduction and comical narratives. It's rumored that the decision to develop the story into a battle shounen was made because the sales weren't doing well enough at first. So the first chapters/episodes may seem titidious but are necessary for the story and the development of the characters. The tonal shift from a more gintama like gag manga to a darker battle focused story can also be offputting to some viewers.

Either way a lot of people blame this arc when discussing why khr never got an english dub or didn't end up on Toonami. I've also read that the manga never finished serializing in the north america. However, it finished in other western languages like german and spanish.

Censoring:

The anime censors A LOT. From Gokudera's smoking habit, Yamamoto's whole character arc which deals with heavy themes such as depression and suicidal thoughts. The general bloodiness of the manga was censored and sometimes whole chapters and characters were left out even if those were important to the devolopment of others.

Filler episodes:

Out of the 202 episodes the anime has around 29 filler episodes which makes roughly 14 %.

Sexism:

Even if Reborn was written by a woman most female characters are rather flat and their storylines often tied to a male character in one way or another.

Genereal things:

Khr, like many other long running series, is sometimes criticised for a lack of world building or unpopular narrative choices.

6. Hope?

Khr isn't exactly dead. As stated before the series is still very popular in Japan and still gets new merch pretty regulary. There are also petitions floating around for a reboot or a new anime season but those never get a lot of traction. Furthermore #Reborn2期アニメ化 (#Reborn2ndAnimation) used to get some traction on twitter not too long ago. Last year the Anime News Network did a poll on which anime the readers would like to see a rebooot of and khr placed second.

Either way here's a collection of recent khr things I could find.

- In 2018 a new bluray set was released in north america

- The khr stage play reached yet another new season

- A mobile game was released last year

- Currently ongoing anime cafe event called "Concerto di Vongola"

- Last month there was an event with the former VAs and stage play actors where they discussed their favourite khr episodes.

- There has been an increase in blind reacts to the openings on youtube which might bring in a new fan base. The biggest one I could find had around 90k views and was made in 2019. On this note check out the soundtrack. The first openeing Drawing Days by SPLAY still makes me go insane (but I'm biased of course)

There also renewed hope for a new season/reboot because Shaman King, Inuyasha and Bleach got anounced for new seasons after a long hiatus. It's important to keep in mind that the circumstances for those series are differnt tho. For example bleachs new anime is often tied to the immense success of the gatcha game.

7. Conclusion

Khr is a series which used to be a flagship for Weekly Shounen Jump and is deeply beloved by it's fans, especially in Japan. It influenced other shounen series like bnha. It would be nice to see it gaining a bigger fanbase in the west :)

#khr #khr meta #anime analysis #shounen jump #katekyo hitman reborn #mirytalks #long post #manga

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cloudsrust · 2 years

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I feel like you'd draw Grimsley, Cynthia, or Elesa from Pokemon. Their designs seem to be right up your alley.

(Gonna answer all here since tumblr replies are a bit clunky,,)

All three are actually among my top faves! Grimsley especially with that style of his- especially his kimono look for which I just die for (which is apparently from Sun/Moon? Damn I missed so much not finishing it;;). Cynthia.. well she's just Cynthia- what's not to love? She gotta be one of the most pokèmon characters ever,, Elesa- absolutely loved her style in BW but I just fell in love with her B2W2 version- the contrast of that big, puffy jacket with her slimmer outfit is just.. *chef kiss* in my book. But- intimidated by such gender characters- I never attempted to draw 'em;; Been tempted to draw Grimsley for a while tho-

(Rest is underneath)

Omg how could I forget about them!! I think they were even my favourite elite 4 in HeartGold- heck shame on me for having to check who they were- (even though I think it was because names in italian are always different- poor guy named Pino.) With my love for masked characters I'm also surprised I never drew 'em.

(I already replied in the comments but yeah dfdsd)

As I said I only know Guzma as the "goofy bad guy who either isn't actually bad or had an hard past- oh also he loves his lil' Wimpod" that I usually see in fanarts- and if that's him, I love him :,> But since I never even met him in game I had no chance to draw him,,

Lysandre instead- other than him being an ass, I'd say he was unlucky to be in X/Y since it just didn't stuck with me :/ so I just- kinda forgot about him. He got so much style tho,,

Will I can see why some would think I drew 'em before- but.. why Chili? He even ironically was the only one of the twins I left out my tier list since I was just neutral about him dsdjsd. Never drew the fire waiter- that hair would be a nightmare to translate in my style too,,

Honestly? I think the only thing that stopped me from drawing him was the fact I just could not draw guys when I was obsessed with him;; (talking back when BW came out so- almost 10 years ago? Damn.). Absolutely adore him as a character and his story/theories still gives me the chills- should really consider doodling him sometime.

Oh I feel that honestly- I have gaps all over the place with both characters and pokemons, either because of memory or not having played that version ahah

But both of them, even though I haven't drawn either? Absolutely loved them,, both being stylish mysterious strangers that just decide to help/fight you on your journey- 10/10 in my book.

I'm extremely surprised that no one guessed the characters- I mean they were just 3.. with me not even saying from which games they were from so... understandable dfdjhf Two of them just seemed so obvious tho! Especially since I think I even talked about them a bit or even outright said I drew them but never posted it at some point-

But there were some really good guesses, my taste does actually shine through the characters I choose to draw as I thought then-!

#the cloud can speak oh boi #thinking about if letting the guessing go on with maybe me saying which games they're from- or just show them ahah #I kept track of all the mentioned characters for-.. a thing or two though ohoh #I may or may not gave myself a challenge with that random question-

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manchesterau · 3 years

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my thoughts after reading my policeman: SPOILERSS of course!! (ignore spelling or grammar mistakes) (this is very ramble-y and not as in depth as it could have been sorrryyy lol, if you want specifics send me an ask after reading this)

okay...so i read the book in 3 days....which....im very proud of myself bc it takes me so long to finish books but that’s not why you are reading this.

im not going to lie to you...i liked the book. i love angst, and this had plenty of it and i liked it. if you like books such as: harry potter, six of crows, red queen, red white and royal blue you will not like this book. i know many people found it boring, which yeah i can see that, but i didn't find it boring at all. but mostly because i love boring books but that's beside the point.

the book flowed easily, there isn't a bunch of raunchy sex scenes that ive seen people say it has (i...the things ive read idk what book they even read????) and Tom does has backward views on marriage and what it means to be a wife. but he is not overtly sexist or misogynist or abusive, or subvertly those things either. to be frank he's a scared gay man in the 50s trying to not get caught and thrown in jail. that's literally it. (ill go more into detail on him later). but if you want to read this book i recommend you go in knowing that there will be homophobia (the word queer is used as a slur....3 times or 4 but no more than 5), expect outing, expect not supportive characters, and remember to have some compassion (more on this later).

next i want to go into characters: starting with tom, then Marion, then Patrick, and then the other characters. so if you are planning on reading this book or just dont want to be spoiled them....don't read the next bit.

Tom:

I'm going to get this out of the way.........Tom (who we never get to know outside of the two-point of views we are presented with, and who is being played by Harry) is a police officer in the 50s UK. to be frank when the rumors first went around I was mad like a lot of people were, which is funny because when we got those pictures of harry reading the book before all the speculation we were....happy, that he was reading a book about a gay man. now...I don't care honestly. I could call out the hypocrites (i won't) and honestly I'm hypocritical myself. I use to watch shows like svu (if you were to turn it on right now I wouldn't turn it off) and I enjoyed watching svu. I know and have seen a lot of mutuals, people on my dash enjoy cop shows like b99, or who like actors who have played the character of police before. so it would be hypocritical of me to be mad at him (this is just my single black opinion) and then go and turn on svu (which I don't do anymore).

I'm not saying that no one can be mad, I'm not saying that the anger people have at him playing this role is bad or not needed or valid. all I'm saying is.....is that I don't care. I got angry over this months ago, and all that anger I felt I don't have anymore, and I can't tell you why. Harry is playing an abusive demented husband who traps his wife in a simulation, and then he will play a gay policeman trying not to face persecution..........and that's that. nothing I can say will reach him, he's playing these roles and there is nothing I can do. will I watch them (pirating of course) yes.

anyways let's get back to tom's character (do not use my opinion to silence other black people I will find you....don't do that shit weirdo): tom is......tom?? like I literally was expecting the worst when I read this because of what other people had to say. but as I'm reading him through the eyes of Marion (his wife) and through the eyes of Patrick (his...true love, fuck the 50s I hate the 50s) one word came to mind constantly: scared. Tom is very scared that he will be found out and his life will be ruined. His family knows about him, which is why I think his father (more on him later) pushed him to be in the national service (where he was a cook, which disappointed him). you don't realize his family knows and then his sister says something and then you go 'wait....THEY KNEW???' and then you will go 'oh so that's why-'

tom does have old fashion views that you would expect of any man at that time (gay or not it's the 50s and gay men are still capable of saying sexist shit). when asked by Patrick if women should still work after having a kid he said no it's the men's job to provide, Marion said she would like to keep working, he said no when they do have a baby (they literally never did, and idk why he thought he could be intimate with her for that long to produce a baby lol). that's....the most sexist thing he said in the whole book (there maybe some small things im forgetting but nothing that really stood out). that's it. I know it's not small and that was a legitimate issue in the 50s but yeah. Just in case you were apprehensive about Tom's character being a raging woman-hater, no,....he just wasn't a true feminist yet (???? I don't know that's like..the most this book says about an issue women were facing at this time). It's still bad what he said (you'll see how Marion justifies it in the book and both Patrick and her don't agree and try and challenge him on his view).

i dont want to go too in depth but it is very obvious from the beginning he has no and i mean ZEROOOO interest in her at all (you can tell when it hits him that he needs a wife and he starts to act a littleee different but it's not romantic at alll).

i feel like my review on tom is shit but like!! we don't really get to know him without bias from Patrick and Marion. I think Harry will play a wonderful Tom (even tho he doesn't not fit the description for Tom...at all....like at alllll).

To summarize Tom: very scared gay man from the 50s who is trying to do everything he can to not be found out. his family knows, even he knew at a young age, and yes he does quit being a police officer but it doesn't happen as soon as id like but then again he wasn't one for that long if you pay attention to the years.

Marion:

😑

i just...if yall could see the notes i made on her.....

To summarize Marion: SHE IS LIVING IN LALA LAND, TOM LITERALLY SHOWS HER NO ROMANTIC INTEREST AT ALLL, AND WHEN SHE METS PATRICK FOR THE FIRST TIME SHE FREAKING NOTICES THAT HE'S ALL BLUSH-Y AND SHIT LIKE...GIRL.....

this is a note i wrote that sums up her and tom's relationship (which is more like friends then anything romantic i mean god their honeymoon was horrible and he proposed to her....nvm 😑)

listen...i can't lie and say i didn't feel sorry for her up until the end when she (spoilers: she outs patrick to his employer which ends up with him getting arrested). after that...ive never hated a character more in my fucking LIFEEEE like oh my god i was pissed

all she does is have fantasies about him being romantic with her (holding hands, hugging, etc) and none of them come true...BECAUSE HES GAYYYYYY i really....the author could have done a better job because there were so many damn red flags.

she's fucking annoying and whiny and yeah it sucked to be a woman in the 50s but you literally outed someone your husband was in love with and thought that you could just go back to being married like he's not devastated and instead of telling what you did you stayed unhappy and made your husband thing that at any point they were coming for him too.......*****

Patrick:

PATRICKKKKK

Patrick and tom deserved a fighting fucking chance i hate the fuck 50s fuck you 50s!!!! I absolutely LOVEDDD his pov and seeing Tom through his pov like it was just so damn refreshing seeing the world through his eyes and how he navigates his queerness in the society they live in. (the dichotomy between a proud gay man and a scared maybe proud but fear overrules that (talking about Tom here) gay man).

There was a lot more to say on how gay men were being persecuted at this time than how women were treated in this particular book. There were some little things here and there about what was expected of Marion as a wife and of a girl/woman at that time but it wasn't the focus.

I loved seeing the way Patrick navigated through his world of art and creativity. And how Tom seemed to fit right in with him.

I hate the things the author made Patrick go through (outed, sent to prison, stripped of his job, and later on in the present day he has had 2 strokes in his 70s). it felt a bit much but it's not too distracting (Patricks pov takes place in the past as he writes in his journal).

Patrick and Julia (more on her later) are my two favorites in the whole book (Tom is third bc he's a very multi-facted character, Marion is not even on the list) and I wish we got a lot more of Patrick's pov.

Other characters!! (speed round bc this is wayyy too long):

Syvlie (Tom's sister): SYVLIEEE IM MAD AT YOUU I WAS ROOTING FOR YOU WHYY WHYYY

Julia: JULIAAAAA QUEEENNN (you'll see why i love her at the end)

Tom's parents: his father is abusive point-blank. or at least i think he's abusive (verbally). as im writing this i am now realizing that the way Tom's mom reacts to him (sometimes crying) is bc they knew he was gay omg wow.

tom's dad is very much a man's man guy?? Picture a sexist man from the 50s....now picture him with a gay son.....yeah, I'm not surprised Tom went into national service then to the police force. you can tell he didn't want anyone to find out about Tom so he pushed him to do what he thought best and Tom went with it, scared.

overall: please do not go into this book expected things to be all flowers and rainbows...this is a book about two gay men in the 50s yall.....

there is something to be said about the tragedy that is in a lot of queer stories, I'm more interested in how white these stories are (that's a rant for another time). but I don't mind my policeman, and i think stories like this should be told. because this actually happened (here is a link to em forster's story where the author takes inspiration from, he really had an affair with a policeman!!! who had a wife!!!).

the ending is bittersweet, and i couldn't help but curse for what could have been. Marion could have not outed Patrick (which she instantly regretted), she could have gotten a divorce (she even contemplated it), they could have been more secretive, Julia could have not said what she said. I think Patrick and Tom were sadly doomed from the start, I just wish they had more time together because I loved seeing their love (the little glimpse we got) bloom into something bigger than them.

thank you for reading!! here are random screenshots of my notes as i read this lol enjoy!!

can’t*

#*#my policeman #godd this book...i cant wait for the movie #mp

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seventhrounder · 3 years

Text

I went thru my folder with old hockey magazines I had saved from around 2011 to 2015 and came across this one and thought it could be a fun to make a post about now in hindsight.

This is Jääkiekko magazine from May 2012, they always have a section of "99 questions with ..." and in this issue they interviewed Teräväinen.

I’ve translated the questions I found interesting under the cut! It ended up being about half of the interview. (*) are my additions.

On the cover "seuraava superjokeri" means the next super joker, he played for Helsingin Jokerit so it's a word play from that. Under, on the blue print it says: "The 17-year-old forward will become a first round draft pick in the summer. The natural goal scorer can dominate in SM-Liiga as soon as next season."

In the 2nd photo the headline and lead paragraph goes:

"A post with dents* - A year ago Teuvo Teräväinen was known only within a small number of hockey insiders. Few passers-by recognize him now either but after a flashy rookie season the Jokerit sensation is on the radar of every NHL team and is a strong contender to become a first round draft pick. Next season with Jokerit the talented second line center will be one of the main talking points in the SM-Liiga."

(*references the net Teräväinen had in his backyard and into which he practiced his shooting)

3. You've been described as a magician, top scorer, wunderkind and a prodigy. What do you think of these descriptions?

TT: Heh, those are some descriptions yeah. What can I really say? Don't really wanna comment on them much.

4. How nervous are you about the Draft?

TT: I try not to be nervous as best as I can. In a way I don't have anything to be nervous about since I don't care which team picks me or at what number I go.

6. Which is stressing you more, English interviews or physical tests?

TT: Maybe both. Bench press (laughs) and English interviews can be tough.

12. How far along have you planned your career with, for example, your parents or your agent?

TT: Haven't really planned things with others but I've thought about them myself. I try to go step by step and not jump too far ahead.

14. How does it feel to be so young with all the star players in Jokerit?

TT: How to say it? I haven't felt like I was young but a part of the team instead. The team's been very good with me and they haven't been looking down at me like: "oh he's young". It's been fun to play in an experienced team.

15. Is there a generational gap between players?

TT: You can see the age difference, older players look older but we're all childish, at least with our topics.

17. What does a 17-year-old do in the sauna nights of the team?

TT: I actually haven't been in any yet. I've always been at national team's camps or something.

19. Did you get the number you wanted?

TT: I did, yeah. I could've taken #18 but Semir (Ben-Amor) has it. But i'm happy with #86, it's good.

23. What are your strengths as a player?

TT: Offensive play and with that playing with the puck, passing, IQ, power play and skill, just the usual skill - skill with hands.

24. And weaknesses?

TT: They are to do with defensive play, strength and physicality. Battles and such but I think I took a step forward last season. That's a good thing.

25. Have you ever been "pressed into a mold" or has your playing style gotten to develop naturally?

TT: As a kid the play was mostly offensive/attacking, I didn't have to think about playing defence. Up until 15 years old, I got to attack pretty freely. Playing defence became more important when I started to play in A-juniors a couple seasons ago.

26. On a scale from 1 to 10 how determined are you?

TT: Maybe 8, feels like an 8.

32. What kind of role are you planning to take with Jokerit next season?

TT: I think a pretty big one. I try to be a top player and not just take others' example but give others example myself too. So that someone in the team can take something out of the way I do things on the ice and off the ice.

35. If you could pick anyone, who would be your car driver?

TT: Nico Manelius for sure. He's been my driver this season. I've had others too, like Riku Hahl but he's not nearly at the same level. Nico’s clearly the best.

36. What are the most important qualifications to be a good driver?

TT: The car is obviously important. Hahl's car is totally awful, he takes a lot of heat for it from the guys too. I wouldn't dare driving with him. Manelius is a steady performer, never lets you down.

38. What sports did you play as a 10-year-old?

TT: Hockey and floorball, probably football (soccer) during the summers at the time too.

42. When did you decide to focus only on hockey?

TT: So when I stopped playing other sports? Three years ago, before that floorball was kind of a side thing, I played a couple of games in the regular season and playoffs.

45. Do you follow floorball or other sports? Go to games?

TT: I don't go to games but I like to watch floorball on TV, it's an interesting sport. Sometimes I watch football too but I don't follow it much. Feels like they never score there.

47. Have you ever played with a wooden stick?

TT: As a kid I did play with a wooden stick.

49. You won the hockey players' golf tournament last summer even though there were more experienced players too. Are you good with all stick games?

TT: Well, I've been pretty good in all of them. I've played golf for a long time and still play it.

50. How is your swing?

TT: Pretty bold, kind of a hockey swing. I don't really care where the ball goes - as long as it goes far.

52. What do you think of off-ice training?

TT: Let's just say it's more stupid than being on the ice but you still gotta do it to be better on the ice.

56. Which word describes your professional relationship (with his coach, Tomek Valtonen), tranquil or colorful?

TT: Colorful of course. At times we're joking around, other times it's more serious but the relationship is really good.

57. Coaching you has been described in many words: good, bad, worse. What are they?

TT: Heh, well... I won't tell them here. He (Tomek) keeps the discipline during practices but sometimes when things haven't gone to a plan I've had to jump on an exercise bike in the middle of a practice.

58. What have been the reasons?

TT: I'll quote Tomek: "when I haven't been present".

59. Have you ever tried to turn the resistance of the bike to zero?

TT: (Laughs) Of course I have and sometimes I've even succeeded.

60. Describe your diet in three words?

TT: Greasy, healthy and good!

64. Your first name is not common for people your age. How did your parents come up with it?

TT: I actually don't even know. Maybe they didn't want a usual Ville*....

(*very common name for men of all ages in Finland)

66. Which of these is the most important: skill, unexpectedness or courage?

TT: Skill!

68. Your longest video game stint?

TT: Six hours, at least. I've played a lot of War of Duty lately.

72. The dumbest thing that has made you upset in hockey?

TT: Probably if I didn't get an assist on a goal even though I should have. Or even worse is if I score and they mark it down for someone else.

79. Have you had any concussions?

TT: I haven't had any, I've managed to always dodge them.*

(*ouch, tho it's good the recent one is his only as far as i remember)

84. In 2011 Team Finland finished in the 5th place at the U-18 tournament. Why only as 5th?

TT: Because we lost to Team Russia in the quarter final, just as well we could have won that game too.

89. You didn't get to be on the ice to accept the SM-Liiga bronze medal (because of the U-18's). When and where did you get it?

TT: I actually still haven't received it, I don't know where it is.

93. What is the population of Helsinki?

TT: There's like 5 million people in Finland so maybe around 500k in Helsinki? (to be exact 596k) Did i really get it right...?

94. Who's the mayor of Helsinki?

TT: I don't know, I barely know the president.

95. Do you think the municipalities in the capital city area should merge?

TT: Luckily I don't have to decide but they probably shouldn't.

96. What do you check first in the news paper?

TT: The sports section.

97. Your favorite tv show?

TT: Putous* was pretty good, I liked a lot of the characters. The grandma was pretty good.

(*Finnish live improvisation comedy/sketch show (there are still new seasons, the latest just finished). Every actor comes up with a humor character with a catchy phrase and one of them wins. "The grandma" is Marja Tyrni and I just got such flashbacks from typing this sentence.)

98. Last book you read?

TT: I don't read many books. The last book was a study book, a Finnish book. I wrote an essay on Tiki (Esa) Tikkanen's biography. An eventful book, great career and a lot of chirps.

99. Who should we ask the 99 questions next?

TT: Riku Hahl could have good stories, he's also seen a lot of the world.

#teuvo teräväinen #teuvo teravainen #carolina hurricanes #canes #hockey #nhl #mp #i knew i had this mag but i thought it was from 2014 and post draft #i really didn't rmbr i've been following turbo for this many years???#good on 16yo me for spending 8 euros on this tho that was excellent thinking

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arsenicbruise · 3 years

Text

Books I read in September and my Review :))

1. everything I know about love - dolly allerton 4/5

This is was my first non-fiction book I’ve read . Still felt like a novel because of how the author told her experiences and the book was actually interesting. It was close to 5 stars but got boring at the end kind of , I think every young woman should read this :))

2. lolita -Vladimir Nabokov - no rating

well , I refused to read this novel for such a long time but I decided for once and all to end up with this misery . Nabokovs writing is not only amazing but also captivating if we decide to ignore the theme of the novel . Humbert is not only an unreliable narrator but also a disgusting and beyond inmoral, not only did he killed Charlotte ( Dolores mother ) but also raped lo , and overly Sexualized her . I’m not going to lie , I do skimmed some pages because it made me Overall super uncomfortable, I don’t want any of y’all to romanticize this story , because if you do I’ll believe you didn’t read it , or either have no conscience to understand it .

3.Eileen-ottessa moshfegh 2/5

I had super high expectations for This book after reading my year of rest and relaxation honestly . Not only was this book boring but the main character was overall super annoying , trust me I’m all for unlikealble main characters that Ottessa usually presents on her novels , Eileen was not it .

4.the metamorphosis -franz Kafka-4/5

This was a really short book I finished in one sitting , while being philosophical it was also really interesting. I believe Gregor deserved better I hated how his family changed drastically with him after his transformation basically getting rid of him . Shows how no one will love you if you’re unattractive.I wish It was longer

5.the myth of Sisyphus-Albert Camus 4/5

“The stranger “ being my first camus book , I also enjoyed this one , even though it was quite hard to read I loved the topics it talked about such as how life has no meaning or purpose but we as humans have to find our own in order to have happiness .

6.speak- Laurie Halse Anderson-4/5

I really really enjoyed this book . I think it’s very popular and I wish it was longer tho . I think it’s a really great representation for rape victims and brings awareness to it . Melinda truly deserved better her parents never seemed to listen and all her so called “ friends “ were just truly Shitty. It was heartbreaking, but at least the ending was great . ( art teacher king )

7. The becoming of Noah Shaw - Michelle hodkin3/5 ( 4th book of Mara and Noah story)

I was looking forward to read this book since June after finishing the last book of the Mara dyer series ( this being the practical continuation) I expected so much more because Noah and Mara are forever my comfort couple but it felt weird and also sad , I didn’t like how slow it was at first ( loved that we got a lot of marashaw scenes ) but I feel like David should’ve stayed alive and Michelle coulve done a better plot with it . Also the ending got me sad and I’m still not over it , even tho I did enjoyed it I think it could’ve been better I hope the reckoning is different .

8.the torn skirt -Rebecca Godfrey 4/5

I think I should’ve given this book 5 stars but there’s something that stopped me to do so .

The sorry follows a girl named Sarah Shaw , a depressed girl who spends her time with her friends who spend their time doing drugs and drinking . Sarah is a girl who is antisocial , mother is gone and dad is there but I felt like he was doing something wrong or wasn’t giving her Enough attention. She meets a girl named Justine the so called “ girl with the torn skirt “ she looks for her etc etc. and runs away from home … not going to spoil much . The ending was okay I believe one of the main reasons I didn’t give it 5 starts was due to the length and the ending . I loved the main character and how depressing and realistic the book was .

9.Ariel -Sylvia Plath 4/5

I was originally going to give this 5 stars as well … but there’s always something that disappoints me in Sylvia Plaths writing , and it’s the racism. Please don’t get me wrong I’m a big fan of her work but I do feel the need to critique it . I wish the racists remarks weren’t there , since it’s such a waste because her work is always one of my favorites, even her being one of my favorite poets . Lady Lazarus and the applicant were my personal favorites.

I can’t add more pics but …

10. Midnight sun - Stephanie Meyer ( 5 book from the twilight series ) 2/5

Well this whole book was a disappointment, it was great to read the story from Edwards pov … but a waste of time imo. Half of the book was just Edward trying to resist Bella’s scent and deciding if he should kill her or not , watching her sleep etc … I’m a fan of twilight but I’m not sure if I’m a fan of this one .

11. Birthday girl - Penelope Douglas 4/5

As y’all know I love Penelope this is my second book by them ( I really can’t wait to read more of their books ) I’m just saying I loved Jordan and loved her character development . Hated cole at the beginning but he also had character development . Pike Lawson dilf loml marry me . The smut was good but not as amazing as in punk 57 . I just gotta say if y’all live older men or have daddy issues read this book lol .

12.Dracula - bram stocker- no rating yet

I haven’t finished this yet but I’m almost there … I’m loving this book so far I love the horror and the vibes .. can’t wait to read more horror books in October.

September was a weird month for books it was great I think overall …

#ya books #marashaw #twilight #romancebookaddict #philosophy #lolita #ottessa moshfegh #punk 57 #birthdaygirl #sylvia plath

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random-jot · 3 years

Text

Books That Made Me

Tagged by @books-and-doodles to talk about some of the books that have impacted me most. Thank u for the tag!! This is a v cool tag - though it may take me some time to properly think about it

I've not put these in any particular order, just the order I think of them; I'm including some general favourites, some teen/childhood faves and maybe even some books that impacted me bc of how much I didn't like them - this should be fun, let's go!

1. The Lord Of The Rings - J.R.R. Tolkien

Fantasy fan includes LOTR on their list? Who saw that coming? ;D In seriousness tho; I grew up watching the LOTR movies as a kid, so the story'll always hold a special place in my heart for that alone, revisting the books OR movies always feels like coming home. ALSO: I distinctly remember finishing reading the books for the first time, sitting in the school library, closing the final page of ROTK and thinking "I want to be a writer. I want to write something like that one day." So not only is this a franchise that I loved when I was younger, it is also the reason that I decided I wanted to be a writer in the first place, so in terms of 'books that made me' this one quite unequivocally fits the bill. This book literally made me want to be a writer.

2. The Silmarillion/Tolkien's Legendarium

What you didn't think I was done talking Tolkien did you? After I'd read LOTR I wanted to read more Tolkien and ofc the Silmarillion was on offer - I'd be lying if I said I didn't have a few false starts on it, bc man that boi is d e n s e. However, after reading Silm for the first time I was blown away by it; the complexity of the lore and worldbuilding, the deepness and richness of the history to a world that I thought I loved before. These days, I've read Silm more times than LOTR (and maybe even - as a book - prefer it?) The stories of Beren and Lúthien, The Children Of Húrin, the rise and fall of Fëanor, the great war against the original dark lord Morgoth, the origin of the world itself, all of it together just stuck with me, it was just so beautifully intricate and so goddamned interesting to learn more about Beleriand and Middle Earth and Tolkien's world. Except for that geography chapter. That's one I admit I tend to skip on rereads.

(Just gonna pop a readmore here, as this inevitably ended up being quite long :D)

3. Alex Rider - Anthony Horowitz

Before year 7 began, we were assigned a list of books by our school and had to choose one to read and do a report on. Me and pretty much every other boy I knew chose Alex Rider: Stormbreaker by Anthony Horowitz. Teenage spy & cool gadgets? What's not to like (other than the terrible movie adaptation). From there I was hooked on this series and desparate to read the other five books that were out (at the time). I remember the excitement when Snakehead, Crocodile Tears & Scorpia Rising were respectively announced, not to mention Russian Roulette? Never Say Die too, though by the time that came out I'd outgrown this series a little. Still, that doesn't take away from how big a fan i was, how much time i spent consuming this series (and coming up w/ my own story ideas for it, which I used to do a lot for things I liked). My love of this series is also partially what made me go see Kingsman: The Secret Service when it came out, which is one of my favourite movies, so i owe AR for that one. I'll always feel that nostalgic attachment for this series, and I'd definitely love to catch up with where the story is now at some point.

4. Goosebumps - R.L. Stine

The series that DOMINATED an entire row of my childhood bookshelf. Vividly remember trying to squeeze any new one I got onto that same shelf so they could all be together. Being honest Goosbumps books were always 50/50 in whether they were good or not, but there were some titles in that series that really did stick with me, either for the cool imagery/monsters or some genuinely scary sequences. How To Kill A Monster gave me nightmares and I adored The Abominable Snowman of Pasadena. Finding one i hadn't got already at a Scholastic book fair or at the school library was always such a thrilling moment.

5. Animorphs - K.A. Applegate

Well, I couldn't mention Goosebumps and not mention the other side of the same coin, could I now? I was never as big an Animorphs fan as I was goosebumps - in fact the reason I first got into it is bc there weren't any Goosebumps left in the kid's section one day at oxfam after school - but I still really enjoyed the books I did read. How often did I fantasise about being able to turn into a tiger or something because of these books? I only ever read about 5 or 6 of them, but it was fun to get a different perspective in each one & go on these mini-adventures, plus the concept behind the Yerks was just so terrifying as a child. No one to trust! I doubt I'll ever read every book, but I'd love it if netflix or someone did a Stranger Things-esque modern adaptation of it.

6. The Beano

While we're talking about childhood nostalgia, I gotta bring the Beano up. I happen to be a Gold Member of the Beano Club and you bet I've still got the card to prove it! I loved getting these delivered every week, seeing what Dennis, or Minnie, or Roger were getting up to. Though I was originally a staunch Dennis The Menace fan, Roger the Dodger soon became my fav. Always loved it when they did a crossover too, and soon enough I had a gigantic collection of Beano Annuals, both new and old dating back to the 60s. The word 'obsessed' gets bandied around a fair bit these days, but I don't think I'm being hyperbolic when I say I was obsessed with The Beano. I even had Dennis The Menace bubble bath at one point.

7. The Amazing Spider-Man - Stan Lee & Steve Ditko/John Romita

So I grew up with the Toeby/Raimi movies & loved them, plus just loved Spider-Man as a character. I've consumed a lot of SM related content over the years but I was genuinely surprised by how much I connected with the original comic run - a few years ago I got some TASM omnibus books, collecting the original issues & fan-letters which was super-cool to read just to see the original context of the character and how he grew from an obscure one-off to one of the most beloved comic-book characters today. My granny was going through a rough time around then, so I really connected with Peter's devotion to looking after his Aunt May. Sure, there were cheesy moments and some certain outdated things, but it was still really cool. I already knew I loved Spider-Man generally, but reading those Omni-Busses really cemented Peter Parker as one of my favourite fictional characters of all time.

8. Green Lanterns - Sam Humphries

Let's stick on the comic front for a moment. Green Lanterns is a comic run from a few years back, following two new Earth Green Lanterns who get chosen at the same time - Simon Baz and Jessica Cruz. They start as rivals but develop a really fun and close friendship as they have to work together.

However, what really cements this run in my heart is Jessica's character specifically - she may be a Green Lantern but she also suffers from extreme anxiety and the series doesn't shy away from the realities of what living with anxiety can be like. Especially as i was going through my own struggles with anxiety/depression at the time, I connected hard with that aspect of it. Plus, Sam Humphries, the writer, also suffers from anxiety, so knows how to depict it. It spoke to me on such a fundamental level and I love the reoccurring theme with Jess's character - that being a GL isn't about having no fear, but having the ability to overcome great fear - and she does that every morning convincing herself to get out of bed and go out into the world. That was something that really resonated with me.

Also the story itself is really cool, well-told and enjoyable to read. It's one of the only modern comic runs that I've bought every volume for, I was that invested.

7. The Cursed Child

This makes the list, not because I loved it, but because I FUCKING HATED IT. Since I've already mentioned I grew up with the LOTR movies and the Raimi Spider-Man trig, you can probably gather I also grew up with Harry Potter. I'm not as big on HP now as I once was, for a variety of reasons, but I still grew up with it and liked it a lot. I remember being excited for Cursed Child when it was announced. I remember getting the script-book for a decent price. I remember reading the first 20 pages or so, thinking 'okay... this isn't exactly what I was expecting.' And once the Candy-Lady started throwing muffin hand-grenades, that was probably when this turned into a hate-read for me. It wasn't all bad - some of it was just odd. But it felt like such a let-down, rehashing ideas from the original HP stories instead of being it's own thing, completely ignoring established traits of characters & established rules of the universe and also did I mention being fucking terrible. I was studying story-structure & story telling as part of my uni degree when I read this and let me tell you I was seething by the time I finished because of how bad the story was. Thinking back on it now still fills me with a potent rage. It is genuinely one of the worst books I've ever read. And I know people say 'oh it's better when you see on stage with the effects and everything' but that doesn't stop the base story from being absolute trash. I could go on and on about how much I hated this, but for now I'll say this is a book that made me - made me realise how much I could hate something.

8. A Song Of Ice And Fire - George R.R. Martin

OK let's get more positive. (Yes the show ended badly, good that obligatory disclaimer's out of the way, let's talk about the books now.) ASOIAF makes the list because it's the series that got me back into reading. I read a lot as a child and I read a lot now, but in my early teens I fell out of love with it. However, when Game of Thrones really began to become popular, I realised all my friends were reading the books of the series - and I was behind them. Not only was I motivated to read fast and try catch up, even overtake my friends where they were in the series, this series also showed me what modern fantasy could be. The grounded dangerous world made the stakes feel high, and it can't be denied that GRRM's character work is astounding, plus his intricate plotting in regards to all the intrigue and conspiracies and moving pieces that this series has to juggle is absolutely phenomenal. Juggling multiple characters and storylines across such a large world-map is damn difficult and even if we never do see TWOW, I still commend him for what he's managed to do so far. Not to mention, after I finished Dance With Dragons, I was so consumed by the series that nothing could feel the hole left by not having it to read anymore; it led me to spend two years devouring every fan-theory, sub-reddit, prediction I could find, just for a little taste of ASOIAF. Sure, the show left a sour taste and the wait for TWOW has dampened my level of investment in this series somewhat, but that doesn't take away from the effect it had on me at the time.

9. The First Law - Joe Abercrombie

So what I was saying up there about ASOIAF - How it was a series I was so invested in that when I finished, it was hard to find anything to fill that void? Well, in uni I read The First Law trilogy. Now that was a series I got invested in. I thought ASOIAF's characterisation was good? First Law is on another level. The Blade Itself was somewhat of a slowburn - I enjoyed the characters but did often find myself thinking 'ok but when are our main povs gonna meet? where's this going?' Before They Are Hanged I enjoyed more as it had a more traditional fantasy vibe - ragtag group on a quest, conspiracy in a city, war between armies and such. And then Last Argument of Kings... that book blew my damn mind. The complex characters and their grey morality, the dry humour of it all, the plot twists! The way Abercrombie was able to subvert certain fantasy tropes will still honouring other ones. There was legitimately a moment in Last Arg where I had to put the book down, I was so stunned by one of the big twists. After Last Arg I was pretty sure The First Law was my new favourite book series and reading the Great Leveller trilogy confirmed it. Sharp Ends and the current Age Of Madness books have continued being top quality. First Law has the top spot on my list of faves and it would take a very strong contender indeed to knock it off that throne.

10. The Gentleman Bastard Sequence - Scott Lynch

The Gentleman Bastard Sequence was a very strong contender indeed to knock First Law off that throne. First Law still has it's crown, but I will say I only began GBS this year and it's already cemented in my top ten, possible even as high as second place next to TFL. The Lies Of Locke Lamora was something I read just bc some friends had recc'd it, it was relatively small, and I wanted a book I could read in a week long holiday. I thought I might like it. Imagine my surprise when I absolutely loved it. TLOLL contained one of the most heartbreaking and shocking moments that I've read in fantasy and - devestating as it was - I think it was such a bold choice that that's why I liked it so much. The banter & friendship between the characters, especially Locke and Jean, the way all the flashbacks culminate by the end and you realise why we had them, the physical design of the world these books take place in. It was an excellent read. I liked Red Seas Under Red Skies just as much, if not more than TLOLL and I had so much fun with Republic Of Thieves.

11. The Waking Land Trilogy - Callie Bates

This is a series I finished this year and really loved, especially the 2nd book, The Memory Of Fire, and I want to shout it out because it's not that well known and I say it should be! Each book follows the perspective of a different character in the story - Elanna, Jahan, and Sophy, respectively. Each of them has a really cool backstory & personality, the romance between Elanna & Jahan is so sweet, and like Gentleman Bastards, one of my favourite characters - Rhia - has a caffeine addiction. The magic system in these books is unabshedly magical and very cool, but what really makes these books stand out is that they are written entirely in first-person present-tense. The sense that the things that are happening to these characters are happening Right Now is very engaging, especially in tense or action scenes. It's a very cool series with fun characters & magic and a really good story at it's heart. I highly recommend it to anyone who hasn't heard of this one.

12. The Farseer Trilogy - Robin Hobb

Again, one I only read this year, but still was absolutely gripped by. Regal's villain monologue from the end of Assassin's Apprentice blew me away - now that's how you write a villain speech! Plus the exploration of how scary telepathy can be, the character of Fitz and his friends, his relationships with The Fool, and Burrich, and Verity and Nighteyes; all good stuff. It's easy to see why this is considered a classic.

13. The Kingkiller Chronicle - Patrick Rothfuss

This series was a big highlight from last year. The Name of the Wind was an incredible read, I loved getting to know Kvothe's character, loved the intricacy of the magic system and all of the segments that take place at the University. I do agree with the majority that The Wise Man's Fear meandered a little too much, but it did contain some fantastic sequences - the early continuation of Kvothe and Ambrose's rivalries, and the fight in the forest were particular highlights. Also The Slow Regard Of Silent Things was a beautifully written book and a really cool insight into the mind of Auri and how she works as a character. I'll reserve full judgement of the series for when (if) The Doors Of Stone comes out, but so far it's been a very enjoyable series to read.

14. Mistborn: The Final Empire - Brandon Sanderson

I just recently read the first Mistborn book and loved it. Getting through a 700+ page book in less than a week is way faster than I normally read, so that should tell you that I got pretty damn invested in what was going on. Kelsier and Vin were fantastic characters & I loved everyone in the heist crew. More than that - so a few years ago I tried out Stormlight Archive and had a very tough time getting into it, which led me to just kind of write-off Sanderson for a while - however, reading Mistborn and liking it so much has renewed my faith in him and made me really want to have another proper go at Stormlight again. And, of course, I can't wait to finish the rest of Mistborn Era One.

15. Captain Underpants - Dav Pilkey

Let's end with a curveball, shall we? So, I read these books as a kid and loved them - they were funny, campy, goofy and just a good time. I was always jealous of George and Harold being best friends who lived next door to each other! However, what really gets them their place on this list is the fact that George and Harold put together their own comic books and sold them on the school playground. Being the impressionable sponge of a child I was, this inspired me to start making my own comic books when I was in Primary School, coming up with my own characters and stories, drawning them out and stapling the pages together, ink on my hands. If I'd never read these, I might never have made my characters 'Remo' or 'Pluto Penguin.' I might never had rediscovered those characters and modernised them into the OCs that they are today. I've released five of my own comic books online so far (shameless plug) and I'm currently writing some short stories to explore them/the world more, and the fact that the protaganists of Captain Underpants (of all things) were themselves comic creators, played no small part int he inception of that part of my life. So that's why Captain Underpants series makes it onto the 'books that made me' list.

——————————————————————————————————————

Okay, that's my list of books that made me I guess. I'm sure there's something I've forgotten lol, but I had fun thinking up these and writing them!

Oh goodness, I really don't know who to tag in this, so I'll just say that If you see this & want to do it you can absolutely consider yourself tagged by me. Even you. Yes, you!

#tag game #books that made me #books #reading #bookblr #lotr #the silmarillion #gentleman bastards #the first law #jessica cruz #green lanterns #spider-man #yes good #the waking land trilogy #the waking land #et al

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theaufanartist · 3 years

Text

“𝘐 𝘥𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬 𝘐 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘺 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘺𝘰𝘶, 𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘐 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘸𝘦 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘵𝘰𝘨𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳.”

Kang Yeo Sang💝

Part 3-Part 4

The following days, Yeo Sang and you talked a lot, each with the motive to try and understand the other, but surprisingly growing closer to each other. You slowly got to know that he loved eating chicken, he loved books since it was already evident from the fact that he was the president of the book club, and he loved RnB.

For Yeo Sang, it wasn’t really much of a surprise how much you loved fantasy novels, since there was always a new dystopian book in your hand every week. He came to know that you loved fettuccine pasta more than spaghetti, how you scrunch up your nose when you’re cringed about something, and there are two scrunch lines on either side of your nose, between your eyebrows. He loved every detail about you, but what was it that was drawing you both closer to each other? It seemed like you both already knew so much about each other.

“Hey,”you sit next to Yeo Sang in the library, a brown book in your hand. He smiles at you, but raises an eyebrow once he sees what’s in your hand.

“Rebirth?”

“Yeah, I found this book. It’s about a King of Yeonsu-dong, who falls in love with his Commander in Chief, but they sadly pass away while saving the king,”you say, flipping through the pages, pouting. He smiles at you, because he knew how much you hated it when one of the lovers passed away.

“You can take a break from the science fiction you read,”you say, giggling at him. He smirks at you. You slide the book towards him, making him stare at it.

“Read it,”you say, before pinching his cheek, making him glare at you playfully, “I gotta go to class. See you later, sweet cheeks,”you say, winking at him. He smirks at you and waves you off.

“Rebirth huh,”he mumbles, fingers grazing over the title of the book etched on the cover. He shrugs his shoulders. Taking the book, he leaves the library.

After walking you to your house, he stops by the butterfly park, as you named it, and stays there. He watches the sun set slowly, the sky turning from yellow to orange to red to purple. He smiles thinking about you, and gets up to go home.

Once he opens the door to his bedroom, he reaches for the book you gave him.

“Let’s see what it got.”

After a while of reading, he feels those battle scenes all too familiar.

The mentions of blue monarch butterflies throws him off guard, too. He remembers you spacing out and later tell him how you felt that every moment with him felt familiar. As he skims through the words on the page, he comes across a certain paragraph, where it all becomes crystal clear.

“𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘒𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘯 𝘸𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘢 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘦, 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘣𝘶𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘧𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘴. 𝘏𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘯 𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘦𝘧 𝘢 𝘭𝘰𝘵 𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘴, 𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦. 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘬 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘠𝘦𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘶-𝘥𝘰𝘯𝘨, 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘯𝘰 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘸𝘦𝘯𝘵. 𝘐𝘵’𝘴 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘧𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘥𝘢𝘵𝘦. 𝘐𝘵’𝘴 𝘴𝘢𝘪𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘒𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘳𝘦𝘮𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘴 𝘣𝘶𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦, 𝘢𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘯 𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘦𝘧, 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘯𝘦. 𝘏𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘶𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘭𝘢𝘺 𝘣𝘦𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮 𝘢𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘥𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩.”

“Huh, this is interesting,”he mumbles, “very interesting.”

His mind wanders back to the park. When he told his mother about it, she never believed it, thinking he read about it somewhere, neither did your parents, as you narrated their reactions to him. He pondered a lot, till he searched up everything online. Shock was an understatement, when his name popped up in the last ruler of Yeonsu-dong, an illustration that resembled him so much along with another woman, he presumed was the king’s wife, along with a girl on his lap. What shocked him was there was an illustration of you dressed in a war armour, standing next to the King and an old man, which he assumed was the father of the King. The illustration was so eerily alike to yours. That night, he stayed up late, till he didn’t finish searching up everything.

The book helped him link dots to his true self. He kept searching till he found the thesis papers online, who searched up on the said King. Some of them couldn’t yet find the remains of the King and the Commander, but he knew where they were. He picked up his phone, and dialled the number of that one person he knew would definitely help him.

“Yeo, it’s 3 am for fuck sake, I swear to God if you-“

“I’ve got something to tell you. Bring a helping hand and shovels,”he says, before he cuts the call.

After few minutes, he finds a car in the drive way of his house, a hand waving at him.

“Thanks Woo,”Yeo Sang says, opening the door of his car.

“What the hell did you want a shovel for? Did you kill someone?”

“What, no! Okay, this might seem really weird, but I think I’ve got answers to those weird dreams I’ve been getting,”he mumbles, making Woo sigh.

“Were you the King or something?”San jokes from the backseat, making Woo giggle. When Yeo Sang doesn’t respond, both of their laughters die out.

“Don’t tell me,”San mumbles, making Yeo sigh.

“Yes,”he whispers loud enough for them to hear.

“Wow,”Woo Young sighs, “where do we need to go with San and these shovels?”he asks, pointing at San with his thumb and the weapons near him.

“I’ll drive,”Yeo Sang suggests, making Woo Young nod at his suggestion.

After a drive of 10 minutes, they reach their destination. Yeo Sang opens the rusty gates, a creaking sound resonating, making Woo Young and San cover their ears.

When they enter the garden, their eyes widen in disbelief. San pushes Woo Young aside, gawking at the butterflies which were flying around.

“This place,”he says, walking on the soft grass, “this is the garden of King-“

He looks at Yeo Sang, who was just staring at him.

“How did you find it?”

“I used to come here as a kid,”he begins, reminiscing his childhood discovery place, which turned it into his comfort place.

“Do they-“

“Yep.”

The three of them stand still, the birds chirping in the background.

“Why did you ask for shovels?”Woo Young questions him.

“Do you think the King is buried here?”San asks, making Yeo Sang nod at him.

“This is the place that was mentioned in the thesis papers, online,”he states, walking over to Woo, “I think their bodies should be buried somewhere here.”

“We thought that this place was a myth,”San mumbles, hand brushing over the grass, “I think you finding this place out confirms it all.”

“That he is the King we talked about?”Woo Young asks, making San nod.

“You’re King Yeo Sang, the last King of the Kang Dynasty, buried next to the Commander in Chief, as per his request,”San whispers.

“So, the dreams you were seeing were everything that happened to you in the past?”Woo Young asks, making Yeo Sang nod.

“And the surprising thing is, they saw some of those dreams too, that kind of acted as a link to mine,”he says, making their eyes widen in surprise.

“You should tell this to them,”San suggests, placing a hand on Yeo Sang’s shoulder, “they deserve to know this, too.”

“He’s right Yeo,”Woo chimes in, hugging Yeo Sang, “we’re there for you. It’s good that you’ve at least got it all out.”

“Yeah, I just need to tell this to them,”he says, the three of them now sitting with their legs spread, seeing the sun rise, dawning upon them the revelation of the past.

While walking back to the car, San stops midway, making the other two turn back.

“No wonder my cat seems to like you,”he says, making Yeo Sang raise his eyebrow.

“What do you mean?”

“Her name is Byeol,”he says, “she was named after one of our ancestors, the King’s sister, Kang Byeol.”

“You seriously want to believe the fact that just because she’s named Byeol, she would be the King’s sister?”Woo Young asks, a comical look on his face.

“Can be true tho,”San mutters, making both of them chuckle at him.

______________________________________________________________________

“Hey,”you greet the trio, who were smiling at you.

“Hey you,”Yeo Sang greets, hugging you. This was surprising, because you’re always the first one to initiate contact.

“You seem to be in a good mood,”you say, making the other two grin at you. Yeo Sang breaks the hug, smiling.

“The three of you’re scaring me with your grins,”you laugh nervously.

“Meet me at our spot after school,”Yeo Sang whispers, “I’ve got answers.”

Your eyes widen in surprise, nodding at him. He smiles and pecks your forehead.

“See you, sweet cheeks,”he says, smiling at your shocked face. Woo Young and San giggle at the scene, leaving you a blushing mess.

“What the hell just happened?”you whisper to yourself.

______________________________________________________________________

You reach your spot before he does. The butterflies were flying as usual. You smile at them, making way to sit on the ground. There were so many flowers around you, it made you feel that you belonged there. But your thoughts slowly drift back to what Yeo Sang said.

“𝘐’𝘷𝘦 𝘨𝘰𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘴.”

What did he mean by that?

While you were lost in your own thoughts, you failed to hear the soft footsteps on the grass of a certain someone who had your heart racing ever since you saw him.

“Hey,”he says, deep voice rumbling in his chest, making you putty in your place.

“Hey,”you say, smiling at him, “you wanted to talk?”

“Yeah,”he replies. Taking the book you gave him out of his backpack along with a few more papers and what looked like a notebook filled with notes, he places it in your lap. You look at it quizzically.

“I did some research last night,”he mumbles. You look through the papers in your lap, squinting at the one particular illustration that caught your sight.

“Is that-”

“Yeah,”he says, now turning his body to look at you.

“Does that mean-”

“Yes.”

You turn to look at him. You take out the sketch of the person from your dreams, and try syncing it with one of the illustrations on the papers Yeo Sang gave. You gasp aloud, eyes widening in disbelief when the facial structure matches to the King’s. Your eyes start watering unintentionally. You trace the features of the King, and look at Yeo Sang, whose eyes were mirroring your action.

“Are we really?”your voice breaks, making Yeo Sang nod at you. You cry silently. Yeo Sang pulls you towards him such that you’re straddling him. You cry in his chest, hugging him tightly. He cries silently, hands brushing through your hair, calming you.

You move away from his chest, his face saddening due to sudden loss of touch. You wipe your eyes with your sweater paws, sniffling. He tips your chin to look into your eyes. Saying nothing you both lean in, lips touching, fitting the last piece of the puzzle of your lives. You cry into the kiss, hands behind his head, as he mirrors your actions. The kiss was nothing compared to any you ever had. This one had an intense feeling of longing, happiness and 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦.

You both break the kiss, panting to catch your breath. He leans in to touch your forehead, thumb swiping your bottom lip, then caressing your cheeks.

“Yeo,”you mumble.

“Shh,”he whispers, “I know.”

“What now?” You ask, as you raise your head to look at him, who’s already looking at you.

“I don’t know,”he says, “all I know is 𝘐 𝘥𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬 𝘐 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘺 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘺𝘰𝘶, 𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘐 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘸𝘦 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘵𝘰𝘨𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳.”

“So,”you begin, “let’s be that way.”

He smiles at you, catching your lips with his, kissing you like his life depended on it. You broke the kiss and smiled, placing a small kiss on his cheek, and threw your arms around his neck, making him snake his arms round your waist, hugging you like you would disappear any moment.

“I’m never letting you go,”he mumbles in your hair, taking in the sweet scent of vanilla musk and coconut. You nuzzle your head in his neck and shoulder juncture, placing a kiss there.

“I’m never leaving you again,”you say, both lost in the presence after nearly 40 decades of their lost love.

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nanasarea · 4 years

Text

Park Jisung as your idol bf

Genre: fluff

Pairing: jisung x idol!reader

Requested

Word count:1757 (dear lord, the longest in the idol bf series damn...)

a/n: this is more of a jisung as your bf in general, not so much the idol aspect sorry. Also yes, i ended up writing about jisung having a baby, sue me, I’m in jisung hours now! also do i even need to say it’s not proofread at this point?

Haechan / Yuta / Mark / Jeno / Jaemin / Chenle / Renjun / Jaehyun

you were in the same dance class when you were younger

so you were friends way before either of your debuts

like when you knew each other when he was an smrookie

and of course, both of you being talented dancers

you were both training under companies at a rather young age

and it isn’t easy being a trainee regardless of your age

but because you were both still in school

and so young

you knew you should stick together

let’s say you had chemistry homework

but you also had vocal lessons

i’m not saying he would help you

because he wouldn’t

but he would be there to motivate you

and study his own school work

so you weren’t alone

it’s safe to say you were each other’s motivation when it came to school

he would also insist on his mom picking you up from school and driving you to the company when your mom couldn’t

same would go reversed

not that either of your moms minded

they found it adorable

and they shipped you both anyway so

that means him and his family coming over for dinner

and you and yours going to theirs for dinner

and your moms would document all of your childhood memories

they would bond over it

since you didn’t have time to make any friends in school,

you both valued your friendship a lot

he ended up debuting before you

and you teased him a lot

until he “taught” you how to ride a hoverboard

and you ended up falling in the first 4 seconds

then he would tease you

and you’d now understand how hard his dances really were

you met most of his members when they were smrookies

but you didn’t know renjun and chenle that well

so whenever you could,

you would hang out with each other

and become very close

which is why they were all so supportive when you ran into their dorms and yelled that you were debuting

you end up having a little celebration

when you actually did debut,

they were so hyped

especially jisung

he streamed your mv so many times

he knew every detail of every scene in the mv

which was adorable

the fans knew you were childhood friends so they absolutely loved your interactions

which meant your company/companies being like

WE COULD MAKE MONEY FROM THAT

so they make sure you have a collab stage

like really early in your debut

and it was kinda awkward

but because you knew each other beforehand

you felt completely fine

at this point, your moms were betting on when you’d start dating

to which you would both just blush and tell them to stop

you end up going on so many variety shows together

mainly dance specials

and everyone finds you too adorable

like everyone ships it

but they’re kinda lowkey about it because they don’t want to make you uncomfortable

not the case of his members tho

or yours

you can’t tell me jaemin’s hiatus wasn’t just him laying in bed, resting and planning your wedding

you can’t

taeyong ends up asking him why he hasn’t asked you out yet

he just blushes

it wasn’t until you were both a bit older

and you were at an award ceremony

where everyone was complimenting you

like your dress, makeup, hair, etc

that he realized he liked you

seeing you like that and realizing he needs to stop looking at you as his little childhood friend

and start looking at you as an adult

or somewhat of an adult

he can never look at you as an adult

because he would always have the image of you

with 6 empty chocolate milks around you

and a gummy worm hanging from your mouth

as you tried your best to color the coloring book correctly

but hey, you were always going to have the imagine of him

hanging from monkey bars

after he finished his 5th scoop of ice cream

and laughing because he overheard someone say a fart joke

ANYWAY

he starts seeing you as an adult

kinda

and he gets slightly jealous when everyone compliments you

so after that, he goes to taeyong and jaehyun

and asks for dating advice

jaehyun just yells

“wooooo! you should know my usual boba order by now, right, lee?”

These fuckers bet on how long it would take for jisung to realize his feelings

and jaehyun would regrets only asking for a free boba when he won

but he’s way too happy about winning to care

it ends with half of 127 and half of dreamies giving advice,

the other halves teasing

and wayv cooing on the phone as they were in china at the time

it takes him like 5 months till he confesses

he’s a nervous baby let him be

and when he does get the courage,

he takes you to an amusement park

you don’t go on any of the rides

because he’s scared

but you do play the games and eat food

you even watch the fireworks

which is when he finally holds your hand for the first time

you did a lot of skinship before

like when you were friends

but it wasn’t like this

it was cute

he was so nervous

your palms were both sweaty from nervousness

but neither of you cared

you were just happy to enjoy the moment

that got cheesy

he even walked you to your dorm

like to right in front of your door

which is when he hesitantly gave you a kiss on the cheek

but you wanted a real kiss so you gave him a proper kiss

and he ended up almost tripping on his way to the elevator

where he smiled to himself

and tried to calm himself down

so the members wouldn’t see him like this

but they did

they teased him

and just yelled with him

“our baby had his first kiss!” -jaemin

“life is going way too fast! weren’t you like 3 years old yesterday?!”- jeno

“how come he’s 2 years younger and already getting more action than me?!” -renjun

the others find out

and tease him

mostly they just congratulate him tho

“wooo! our baby is becoming a man!” -taeyong

“doyoung, hold me, i’m emotional!” -johnny

“when’s the wedding?” -taeil

“wedding? i always cry at weddings...” -jungwoo

“no weddings! yet!” -kun

“yeah! he’s not getting married before me!” -jaehyun

they might have gone a bit overboard

but can you blame them

it’s their baby we’re talking abt

they still see him as the little toddler from when he was on mickey mouse club

also you end up not telling your parents right away

and they keep match making

so you end up being like

“Mom, we’re already dating, you can stop”

cue both of your moms get excited

like they’re already talking about being the best grandmas

and having the cutest grandchildren

even tho you’ve only been together for 2 months

something tells me he’d be the type to want to have matching everything

phone cases

(probably anna and kristoff ones)

then profile pictures

jewelry

clothing

anything and everything

he’d find it so cute

speaking of matching profile pics

the fans would realize what was going on

when you would match your pfps

so your company/companies were like

yes, they’re dating, no one is surprised...anyway 127 comeback

your dating announcement is like super chill

mainly because everyone was waiting for it

also i feel like he’d always be playing with your hair

and fixing it

like all the time

a single hair out of place?

we can’t have that!

his hands are in your hair already

would text you for advice while filming chenji’s this and that

and would always make something for you too

“chenle’s turned out more aesthetic but mine is made with love, so mine is better my default.”

also it wouldn’t matter if you’re older than him, the same age, younger than him

doesn’t matter

would want to hear you call him oppa

but immediately get shy after

also he’s an aquarius

so if you end up getting really random texts during the day

like during your schedules

don’t be surprised

like he’s already maknae on top

so he will rebel to like some of the things you say

“jisung! we need to get back to filming in 3 minutes!”

“but weeee!” -jisung going down the slide for the 5th time

cries when you joke about leaving him there

speaking of crying,

we all know he’s emotional

and cries easily

so he just runs to you whenever he wants to cry

and just placed his head on your shoulder

to hide his facial expression

but it’s okay

you’ve already seen everything from the random snaps you get every day

he might not know how to comfort you at first

but he will learn

and he’s pretty mature for his age

so he would take comforting you very seriously

he’s a really good listener

so he would love to just hear you vent to him

it would kinda boost his ego a bit too

like he’s the one who you’re venting to

yknow what i mean?

but also he protects you very well

you get scared of a spider

he goes all manly mode

and gets rid of it for you

doesn’t like to admit it,

but he thinks about you a lot

and your future

like once you two grow out of your idol lives

and into a more adult life

where you get married

and have kids

kids who tease their uncles (aka nct members)

because THE maknae on top was their teacher after all

speaking of weddings

his older brother got married

and obviously you were his date

and everyone kept looking at you two

asking when it was your turn

your mom said “hopefully soon”

“mom, we don’t have time, we have busy schedules”

“but one day...”

time jump to when the news breaks about your engagement

and everyone is crying

they watched you both grow up and now you’re getting married??

what???

the announcement was everywhere

also you don’t announce anything about a child

one day, you just both post a picture of your daughter

with a caption like

“she’s so cute, i knew my genes were good.”

or something like that

and everyone goes wild

nation’s babies having a baby?

legend says chenle’s screaming caused 2 earthquakes that day

to sum it up: nation’s babies turned nation’s it couple because jisung is the best boyfriend you could ever have asked for

.....i might have gone way more invested than i thought i was going to. Do i regret it tho? hell no. Am i emotional now because I pictured adult Jisung with a baby? hell yes.

tag list: @soleilchannie

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scatterpatter · 3 years

Note

Corren - 1 through 100 - You did this to yourself.

FUCK YOU *UN-IRONICS YOUR ASK*

UNDER THE FUCKING CUT

1. What do they smell like?

Bad. Do you think their party is able to regularly take showers? I thinketh the fuck not. ... Pine and old books when he can self care tho.

2. What is their voice like?

Listen I know Corren, being taller, would be more likely to have a deeper register but you'll tear "tenor Corren" out of my cold dead hands

3. What is their biggest motivator?

Spite.

4. What is their most embarrassing memory?

When he first met his BFF Alondra, he was so antisocial and good at ignoring people that she actually got the impression he might have been hard of hearing. She never let him live that down. (one day I'll finish this fic i promise)

5. How do they deal with/react to pain?

"I will keep all of my pain in here, and one day I'll die." ... Okay but listen he's squishy so he takes like one hit and is bloodied up. Someone get him a healer. Pls.

6. What do they like to wear?

He likes his cloak. Its weighty and soft(well. WAS soft. got a bit of wear and tear these days.) and like. Who doesnt love cloaks.

7. Which of their relationships have impacted them most positively?

Ohhhhh fuuuccck this one's tough. I might have to go with Torvid honestly. While the entire party has had a positive impact on him(and trust me I was this close to picking Alistair), Torvid's been more of the one to call him out on his bullshit and to, oh I don't know, talk about your emotions? Ever??? Yknow BEFORE they become too much to handle and he absolutely breaks down???

8. What’s the weirdest thing they’ve ever eaten?

Alistair's cooking.

9. Describe the way that they sleep.

Good luck finding him NOT cuddled up with at least one dog. Tbh he just enjoys cuddles in general.

10. What is their favorite food/kind of food?

FUCKIN. GIVE HIM A GOOD STEAK. THIS BOY IS MOSTLY CARNIVORISTIC.

11. What do they feel most insecure about?

As tempted as I am to say "His cooking", it's actually his singing.

12. How do they like to dress?

"Comfort over flashiness tbh. I gotta go ADVENTURING in whatever I wear after all."

"... Also don't you DARE perceive me as cishet."

13. How do they react to feelings of guilt?

Call him a genie because he will BOTTLE THAT SHIT UP.

14. How do they react to/deal with betrayal?

Denial :D

15. What is their greatest achievement?

Shrike: Killing his dad

Me: NOOOOOO

EDIT: WAIT THIS WAS ANSWERED IN Q99 WHAT THE HECK

16. What are they like when they’ve gotten too little sleep?

Somehow more of a dick than usual. Snappy and cranky and just. Mrehhh.

17. What are they like when they’re drunk?

Doesn't get drunk often, but when he does I imagine he's actually giggly and a little clingy. It's cute :)

18. What kind of music do they enjoy?

*Opens my Corren playlist* Oh yeah. It's either full edgy alt rock or indie alt "depressed millenial" tracks.

19. Are they right or left handed?

FFFuuhhhhck uhhhh well

Looking over my old art I can't seem to pick a dominant hand(I've even drawn him handling his sniper with either hand???????????) so like oops guess he's ambidextrous.

20. Fears?

The dark, the ocean, dying alone and forgotten, his friends losing their trust of him

21. Favorite kind of weather?

Rain!!!! Especially cool rain like what people often get in fall months.

22. Favorite color?

Indigo!!!

23. Do they collect anything?

Books :3

24. Do they prefer either hot or cold weather more?

Cold weather by far.

25. What is their eye color?

Electric blue!

26. What is their race/ethnicity?

Well his race is a homebrew race known as Marelienth. Uhhh ethnicity? Idk he's from a mountain town way up north *shrugs*

In human aus I imagine him as half-Mongolian half-Norwegian so ayee

27. Hair color?

Black!

28. Are they happy where they are currently?

No :D He loves adventuring with his party don't get me wrong but he still has a lot of trauma to unpack. ... Also he was just possibly broken up with soooo. :/

29. Are they a morning person?

NOPE.

30. Sunrise or sunset?

*motions to above question* Sunset.

31. Are they more messy or more organized?

More organized, actually!

32. Pet peeves?

*unravels a list. It's all shit the party has done. Mostly Alistair.*

33. Do they own any objects of significant personal importance?

HOOUSIDSJFK- HE- Y-YEAH HE SURE DOES

His amethyst pendant used to belong to his brother, Julian, and he gave it to Corren right before they were separated so you BET it's sentimental as shit and he wears it daily.

34. Least favorite food?

Mecha's usually a great cook but one time trolled him with some absurdly spicy curry he couldn't handle and he's never forgiven them.

35. Least favorite color?

Hmmm. Maybe... yellow?

36. Least favorite smell?

He spent a year with his party in a damp cave and no showers, so uh. I'll give you a guess.

37. When was the last time they cried?

Literally last night in our game's timeline :D Full breakdown and everything!

38. Were they with anybody the last time they cried?

Torvid :D He was there to comfort

39. Tell us about one of the times they got injured?

One time they were in combat and Corren took a few hits and was down to about 2hp or so. He had a temporary level thanks to Kieran, which boosted his HP a little bit. When he teleported them to a safe town, though, well... Torvid was waiting for them so that's cool. But uh. Yeah that temporary level wore off then and there, dropping Corn Cob to exactly 0hp and he just- flopped down face first in the snow and started dying then and there KJNDKLFNSLKN

40. Do they have any scars?

Do you want to talk about the scar over his eye from a fight he got in with his dad or like. The scars on his limbs from the time he was literally experimented on.

41. Do they struggle with any mental health issues?

Undiagnosed+Untreated Anxiety, Depression, DPDR, PTSD, just to name a few

42. Do they have any bad habits?

Running away from his problems, definitely.

43. Why might someone dislike them?

He's a pretentious nerd. He can be a dick if he doesn't care about you.

44. Why might someone love them?

He's an adorable nerd! He's a hopeless romantic and oddly enough an optimist. He's passionate and driven too!

45. Do they believe in ghosts?

Well ghosts are like- a canon proven thing in his world sooo. Yeah.

46. Is there anyone they would trust with their lives?

His party. Well- most in his party.

47. Are they romantically interested in anyone?

Nethyl :)

48. Are they dating/married to anyone?

He's dating Nethyl and they're in a happy and healthy relationship :) *politely ignores canon*

49. Do they like surprises?

NO >:(

50. When is their birthday?

Heroya 5th! I think. I don't wanna check, assume it's this.

51. How do they usually celebrate their birthday?

"You guys celebrate your watchdays?"

Jokes aside, he mainly just treats himself to a nice dinner and a new book or something :)

52. Do they have any family?

Two older siblings: Julian and Mila. His parents are Andreas and Fanya!

53. Are they close to their family?

... *Coughs*. He was close with his siblings, but Mila died and he hasn't seen Julian in 30 years. Was close with his dad but last time they saw each other, they fought and Corren might have killed him so. ... Yeah. :/

54. What is their MBTI type?

FUCK uh. I... N... T... J? INTJ. Sure.

55. What is their zodiac sign?

In Sekrezia: The eagle

In our world: Uhhh. Idk. Capricorn????

56. What Hogwarts House would they be in?

Uhhh. Ravenclaw??? I know almost nothing about HP :/

57. What D&D alignment are they?

THIS ONE'S EASY- lawful neutral!

58. Do they ever have nightmares? If so, what about?

Used to have typical nightmares, nothing special. Nowadays though he often dreams of being underwater. Not drowning, though. It's... weird. He doesn't like those.

59. What are their views on death?

He's a necromancer lol.

Death is inevitable, though. It's a necessary part of life. Death is not an entire loss, though. One lives on in the memories others carry of them, in the love they hold in their hearts. Death is complicated, but that's okay.

60. What is something that they’re sure to laugh at?

Alistair :)

61. When bored, how do they pass time?

Dog time :)

62. Do they enjoy being outside?

... Ehhhhhh?

63. Do they have an accent?

Technically??? It's an accent from where he's from but like. I just barely tweak my own voice when I rp him so? Damn Corren I'm sorry you've been cursed with east coast dialect.

64. Upon seeing a slice of chocolate cake, what is their first reaction?

"Damn who's the rich bastard here?" (cake is kinda a delicacy in their world- not like elites only but not NEARLY as common as it is here)

65. If they knew they were going to die, what would they do/say?

Reassurance mode to whomever he's with. "Hey, hey, it's okay. I'm okay. Remember what I told you, death is a natural part of life, yeah? I don't have any regrets, I'm okay... Just. Thanks. For giving me a chance. Thank you. Thank you."

66. How do they feel about sex?

I SWEAR he's allosexual. I'm just bad at writing allosexuals.

67. What is their sexuality?

He doesn't really know how to pin it down, so he just calls himself "queer". Definitely not straight, that's all he knows.

68. Do they become squeamish at the sight of blood?

AHAHA no. He's hella desensitized

69. Is there anything that they find really gross?

Skulking cyst. Look it up at your own volition. It's. NO.

70. Which TV Trope(s) best describes them?

It's 12:21 in the morning and I'm NOT about to scroll through a bunch of tv tropes just. just. NERD stereotype.

71. Do they enjoy helping people?

Yyyyes? Only really if it's the people he cares about.

72. Are they allergic to anything?

Bullshit.

73. Do they have a pet?

WINGTHARA!! HIS SKELE-DOG!!!

74. Are they quick to anger? What are they like when they loose their temper?

Oh yeah he's all bark and no bite. He usually just throws a little fit and/or yells.

75. How patient are they?

More than he should be :/

76. Are they good at cooking?

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

77. Favorite insult? Do they insult people often?

Oh yes he insults the others all the time. No particular favorite, he likes so spice it up.

78. How do they act when they’re particularly happy?

Stim. Stim. Stim. His eyes get all sparkly and he. He.

79. What do they do when they learn about other people’s fears?

He will do everything in his power to assure they won't ever have to deal with their fears alone- You afraid of spiders? It's his job to get the spiders from now on so you won't have to deal with them.

80. Are they trustworthy?

Oh yeah. He's like Rapunzel- doesn't break promises.

81. Do they try to hide their emotions? Are they good at it?

Oh yes he tries to hide it. And yes, he's awful at it.

82. Do they exercise regularly?

Yes and no? No like- exercise regimen, but the amount of travelling and fighting they do is just- a workout in and of itself

83. Are they comfortable with the way they look?

Yeah! He's cute and he knows it baybie!!!

84. What are some physical features that they find attractive on people?

He,,, he likes someone who's physically stong,,, Muscles are,,, aaaaa >///>

85. What kind of personalities do they find attractive?

Someone he can nerd out with :)

86. Do they like sweet foods?

Impartial to it. He won't turn sweets away but he's not crazy about them either.

87. What is their age?

43, the equivalent of- I think someone in their mid 30s?

88. Are they tall or short or somewhere in between?

He's 6'8" :) Which is actually normal for his race

89. Do they wear glasses or contacts?

Sometimes! I like to think he has reading glasses or something like that.

90. Do they consider themselves attractive?

HE'S CUTE AND HE KNOWS IT.

91. What is their sense of humor like?

Julian tainted his sense of humor and now he finds the most dumb shit hilarious. Think very millenial/GenZ humor like "I wish I was Jared, 19"

92. What mood are they most often in?

"I don't get paid enough for this" or Fear.jpg

93. What kinds of things anger them?

People who don't keep their FUCKING WORD. Oh and like. Yknow. Half the shit his party does.

94. Outlook on life?

Again he's??? Oddly an optimist? In the "Things will get better and that is a fucking THREAT" way, but still optimist!

95. What kind of things make them sad/depressed?

Talk about his family :) Or the fact that his boyfriend might want him dead :)

96. What is their greatest weakness?

He's squishy as fuck. He goes down easy.

97. What is their greatest strength?

He's extremely intelligent and great with magic and his sniper!

98. Something that they regret?

Not doing more to stop his brother when he tried to resurrect their sister

99. Biggest accomplishment?

Either convincing an entire town his name is Torren or accidentally convincing some very OP people that he's secretly a dragon.

100. Create your own!

FUCK YOU I SPENT LIKE 2 HOURS ON THIS. NO PROOFREAD. IVE ALREADY DESIGNED CORREN'S AND NETHYL'S HYPOTHETICAL KIDS. ANYWAYS THEY'RE TWIN IRINAGA AND I'VE NAMED THEM AFTER THE DNDADS TWINS: THEIR NAMES ARE LARK AND SPARROW.

#LONG POST #LONG LONG POST #Corren #FUCK YOU DREWSKI <3

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teacupballerina · 3 years

Text

Tagged by @chillableu Thank you bro. I am flattered to be one of the few you chose to follow.

1. Name/Nickname: teacup/tcb

2. Gender: female

3. Star Sign: Gemini / Sag moon / Vir rising

4. Height: 5'5

5. Time: 19:27

6. Birthday: May 26

7. Favorite Band: Muse or Shinedown [literally unchanged for 10 and 20 years respectively]

8. Favorite Solo Artist: Maynard James Keenan, any band he is in is also fave.

9. Song Stuck Stuck In My Head: Bread and Circus - Puscifer

10. Last Movie: Demon Slayer Mugen Train in the theater

11. Last Show: Finished Koikimo this week. If you like my art, you would probably like this show.

12. When I Created This Blog: Probably Dec 2010, first posted Jan 2011

13. What I Post: fandom including my art, oc development, shitposting and memes, etc. Like basically every other tumblr user

14. Last Thing I Googled: "salmon lunch recipe" LMFAO

15. Other Blogs: Active are @cnwol @lord-and-leader (unable to hyperlink because its marked) @actionpackjack @redorbshipping @delivererofdarkness and several inactive Aku rp blogs lmfao

16. Do I get asks?: many, and roughly half are answered because I always be thinking of shit to draw for them and then never get around to drawing. So if you sent something and I never answered it was either hate or I was gonna draw to answer it, or am going to eventually draw an answer to it, or just got sidelined sorry

18: Following: 829

17. Why I Chose My URL: initials + random words. made during my lolita fashion phase so that's what came out. But i am short and my art is the equivalent of dancing on my tablet so there’s that.

21. Lucky Number: 4

19. Followers: 3550 plus or minus 10 any given day based on what I post. I gain followers daily but I also lose them daily. LOL

20. Average Hours Of Sleep: I go to bed at 10-11 and wake up at 7 so regularly that I cannot really control getting 8-9 hrs. If I am forced to stay up past 10-11 I will still wake up at 7 but I'll be a wreck. I have epiglottitis-based sleep apnea though so I am always a little bit fucked despite getting a lot of sleep.

22. Instruments: N/A if I ever figure out how to fix my throat I’ll sing again

23. What Am I Wearing: My work smock 🤣

24. Dream job: Dog groomer O SHIT IM DOING THAT ALREADY DAM

25. Favorite Food: Raw salmon/sashimi

27. Nationality: American

28. Favorite Song: 45 by Shinedown I SWEAR I WILL ANIMATIC THIS SOON

29. Last Book I Read: The War for Late Night by Bill Carter

30. Top 3 Fictional Universes I Would Like To Live In: THIS ONE IS FINE THANKS

@ladykeane @cherrycreamfairy @ej-cappy-universe anybody else can do it tho pls just say i tagged you no one will know

#about me

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makiswirl · 3 years

Note

Question for the q&a: Do you have any authors that have influenced your writing?

oh god DEFINITELY. there's some specific ones out there where i've looked at their writing and went "wow, i'm taking your writing style" but it's mostly published book authors? there are obvi some fma fic authors that've inspired me tho! putting this under a read more for yalls sanity

1. definitely stephen king! i mentioned it in the notes for chapter 14 of hölle but around that time i read the shining and i was in LOVE. there were specific things you could probably nitpick and go "wow that seems kind of new" at in that chapter and that would be because i pretty much.. looked at the writing in there and got Super Inspired.

when i was writing hölle it was my first Big Fic (patent pending) and i did NOT have a consistent writing style. like. at all. 90% of it was me improving my writing skills as i went and actually getting used to writing fics??? hence a lot of.. hiatus time and...... not very good scheduling or drafting.......... ...

so when i read the shining i went (!!!) BECAUSE I WAS FIXATING ON IT SUPER HARD like. watching the obscure MINI-SERIES hard. i still kind of am but i specifically noticed the way king seemed to exaggerate thoughts in a very specific way

and i RAN with that. this specifically shows in holes and i thought it worked pretty well for the genre

at the time??? also especially apt because i like. literally just reread the shining. like i finished the day i wrote holes chapter 3 and that's why it was more heavy theme-wise i think???? BUT EITHER WAY stephen king's writing (particularly in the shining) inspired me a hell of a lot!

2. john boyne! i reread the boy in the striped pajamas recently and. BOY i am so sad still. definitely wasn't as influential writing-wise but theres small influences here and there? specifically in the way i structure sentences i think & GOD how i love the ending of that book. like. it drives me to tears every time

whenever i reread the ending of the book i think of how STRONGLY it was written? like. the words were really impressing and strong and i kind of wanted to mimic that in my writing whenever the mood fit and i can really only think of the time being where i utilized that being the ending of holes? i don't really like the ending sentences of the fic itself but i remember thinking about skimming over the epilogue again when it came to writing the last bit

3. william shakespeare is super fucking funny to put on here but like. i'm currently taking pre-college classes and we reread romeo and juliet and some other sonnets that he wrote and ive like. never recovered since lmao

i can't state THAT much that i drew from him because i have brainfog from the entire past year but i remember the class heavily focused on refreshing us on poetry? like. we went over the old freshman year poets (edgar allen poe was also pretty "!!! urge to write !!! but wow hes kinda fucked up!!!!!!!!" tho specifically /w the raven and annabel lee when it came to me writing) and despite how incoherent that sentence sounds idk there was just SOMETHING abt that entire course that made me want to start writing a lot the professor was just super good i loved her come home 💔

4. OKAY SO FOR FMA FIC AUTHORS. i've read a LOT of fics (like ive been through the entire parental roy and edling tags consecutively) so it's.. very hard to keep track... ... there're a few that definitely stand out tho!

* alightintheshadows i remember specifically being like. one of the first fma fic authors i read from and their stuff is GREAT. someone please tell me if they have a tumblr because i want to gush about their content so bad it's so good but like. i think they're what got me INTO writing fma fics in the first place? especially horror/plot-heavy stuff like that? i first read the cult on ff.net and i would NOT shut up about it for like. a week. i got super excited when their fics came over to ao3 and im pretty sure you can still see them quite a bit in my rec bookmarks

* DEFINITELY @liathgray i love cece so much they're so nice and i'm glad i've gotten to talk to them it's unreal !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i think they're one of the authors who actually made me actually go "oh. wow the fandom is still alive!!!" when i was going thru ao3 after i watched both fmas last summer because i'm.. pretty sure giants in the forest was still going on iirc? that fic's definitely what dragged me into the hyperfixation and interacting /w the fandom super hard lol

also i just REALLY like blackwell springs????? can we talk about blackwell springs because blackwell springs is my SHIT.

like i get that these r all probably common picks for author inspos but i remember also being around for it when it first came out -> the end and i loved it sm and i got so excited EVERY time it updated. like i would liveblog it to my boyfriend or read it really fast half-asleep before driving to class and i'd shove it into his FACE. 90% sure that fic's what either struck me to write hölle or keep writing it (i can't remember when it originally came out???) but i really need to get on reading whatever series capra's part of even tho i don't particularly like crossover stuff bc i see it Everywhere and it looks so good

i think that's all??? there's definitely a lot of other authors that i've looked at and went "!!!" but my brain is.. so empty from dumping all of this.. hope this answers ur question tho!!!! ignore any typos i just feel very strongly ok but in like the best way possible ♥

#pip.txt #answering machine #holle #long post #like a REALLY long post #guess this half counts as book and fic recs in hindsight

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heloflor · 3 years

Text

As Time Passes Prologue : My Brother, part 1

AO3 link ; Prologue 1 (The Estate)

A collection of scenes from Vinnie’s early life. From his younger years as a toddler to his last years as a teen. From a life of fear to a life of uncertainty. From an abused child relying on the only good people in his life to a young adult determined to make things right for them.

TRIGGER WARNING : child abuse, violence, depression, mentions of drug and alcohol, infidelity. Basically anything that goes with messed up abusive parents. And to that regard, this fic is NOT made to romanticize abuse or mental illness ! There’s also a moment in part 2 mentioning a dystopic future with the urbanization of the world and its consequences on every species (it’s only one part and you see it coming). This also means mentions of animal abuse and LITERAL animal genocide !!

Notes : Well, this took 8 months longer than expected…

Seriously. I started working on this chapter BEFORE “The Estate”, only deciding later to start with Cav’s backstory because it makes more sense given what I intend to write for chapters 3 and 4.

Though, that chapter is very, VERY long so that also explains the delay. And even despite the size, I feel like I tried to cram in too much elements and underdeveloped some stuff as a result. Like, that whole thing could be a fic in itself if I had enough ideas to fill the holes there and there.

On a lighter note, during that “hiatus”, I read the book “Wanderers” by Chuck Wending and one interlude gave me the idea of putting dates at the beginning of each new part of the story, which is going to come in VERY HANDY for the story (also the fact that the fic is called “As Time Passes” makes it even better).

As for the chapter itself, let’s just say that, after giving an idea of what Cavendish’s life used to be, now it’s time to show Dakota’s. Though, this chapter will be much longer and goes onto basically his entire life before B.O.T.T.. There are also a lot of dark stuff (as said in the trigger warning) because apparently my brain still hasn’t gotten past that teenager need to make anything as messed up as possible.

Regarding the sibling OCs, fun fact : the idea of Dakota having older siblings came partly from Tumblr and partly from my wish to have Dakota be an uncle due to how much the guy seems to love kids (but I don’t see him have his own, for reason that will be talked about in the main fic). Then, while listening to random songs and coming up with Dakavendish animations in my head (yeah I’m THAT kind of weirdo), I ended up listening to “A Guy Like You” from Disney Hunchback and suddenly Dakota had three siblings. Then all that needed to be done was give them a personality and choose which one would have a kid. And then make them all queer because I spend too much time on the internet.

Another thing about them, to make it easier at the beginning : there are four. And for the age-gap, as an example, the fic starts with the ages being 13 (Enzo “Enzie”), 9 (Bettina “Bettie”), 5 (Donatello “Donnie”) and 3 (Viviana “Vivie”/Vincenzo “Vinnie”).

(side-note about the writing at the beginning : using the wrong pronouns for a character is MUCH harder than I thought it would be)

Btw I don’t know how to draw so instead, if you want to see how the siblings look like, I made them in Miitopia (don’t ask). Here’s the link for it (just ignore my ramblings in this...).

Also, while the idea of him having siblings comes partly from my brain, the idea of Dakota being Italian is 100% from Tumblr and AO3 with like half the Dakavendish fandom who seems to follow this headcanon. Hell, I even have an irl friend who told me Dakota gives them a European vibe while I was telling them that one of the reasons people saw him as trans was his height.

(and I guess you could say the same thing about him having heterochromia and being colorblind ; all the credit for these two ideas goes to the fandom)

Btw, despite them being Italians, the dialogue is in english. In future chapters tho, depending on the character’s POV, some dialogue will either be in Italian or in English in italics.

And fun fact : while googling Italian names to help me name these characters, I discovered that there’s an Italian name that’s “Baldassare” and this is 100% how Dakota’s siblings and nephew/nieces would call Cavendish.

And one last “””fun””” fact : the character of Enzo is partly inspired by a guy I know who, by the age of 6, was the one to wake up, dress, feed, bring to school and overall raise his 4 younger siblings. And if you’re wondering, the guy is 23 now and is doing pretty fine (much, MUCH better than the shit I plan for my OC here). And no, the name of the OC isn’t inspired by this guy. I looked up random Italian names for each sibling + Vinnie’s dead name.

Anyways, onto the fic now. Enjoy !

January 10, 2134

The morning started with their usual routine.

Vivie was sleeping soundly, her brother Donnie by her side, until their oldest brother Enzie came to wake them up. Vivie could hear her sister Bettie grumble, not helped by Enzie urging her to get up. He would always claim that, unlike the other two, she needed to be ready early. They didn’t go to school at the same hours. First it was Bettie, then Donnie, and finally Vivie was brought to the nursery.

Enzie also went to school. Bettie once said that Enzie always turned out late because his school started before them. But Enzie always insisted to take care of them first. The older brother didn’t like letting them alone with Mamma. And, truth be told, Vivie didn’t like it either.

Once Enzie reached their bed, Donnie pretended to still be sleeping and made snoring noises. Sometimes, Vivie would do the same. Today though, she just giggled, listening to her brothers argue.

She couldn’t open her eyes. The light hurt her. So she waited for her brothers to be done, for Enzie to focus his attention to her and give her her sunglasses.

Then, the four kids sat on the beds to have their breakfast, taking out the bags hiding under their beds. Years ago, way before Vivie was born, Enzie had decided that they should all hide their fruits and snacks in the bedroom instead of in the kitchen where Mamma could take them, and the others obeyed.

Enzie was always worried about food. Even though Mamma brought enough for them to eat everyday if they shared in small portions, Enzie insisted that it was never enough, that kids like them needed more than that. He always told them that, if they found something to eat, they should eat until they were full and share if some was left. As a result, Bettie and Donnie often brought food back from their lunch at school.

As for Enzie, how he always found something for the three of them was a mystery. Vivie had heard Bettie get angry at her brother more than once, accusing him of stealing food and talking about how he was going to end up in prison. But then Enzie would show what he got her, and she would stop yelling. But Vivie could see that she was still angry, and it made her sad too. Vivie heard that prison was bad, that the people who went left for a long time.

Vivie didn’t want Enzie to go to prison.

Who would take care of her, if Enzie was not here ?

…

Despite her young age, Vivie would sometimes feel bad for Enzie. He was very nice and always helped her when she was upset. But was anybody helping him ? Enzie slept on the scratchy couch in the living-room to let Bettie have her own bed. He refused to eat until his siblings ate enough. He helped Bettie with her homework before doing his. He never slept if one of them wasn’t, willing to tell as many songs and story as needed. He always went outside with them to watch over them. If one of them needed something from Mamma, he would talk to her for them.

Vivie couldn’t talk that well yet. While she knew a few words, she was said to be behind on language. But while she couldn’t communicate, she could observe.

When she was at the nursery, Vivie would see the other children, the other families. She was told about how a family worked.

The parents took care of the children. The parents fed the children, helped them with their homework, told them bedtime stories, watched over them, cared for them, have a bed for each one of them.

Mamma didn’t do any of this. She never did.

Mamma was just there, in the house, with them. Enzie told them not to talk to her. She could be dangerous when she was bothered.

And yet, she would go to them sometimes. She would go outside with them, just walking ahead as she brought Donnie and Vivie to the closest playground. She would mention them on the phone. Vivie even saw her go to Bettie’s school play once.

But the rest of the time, she would be lying down somewhere in “her side” of the house, glaring when any of her children would come close all the while holding one of those bottles Enzie completely forbid them to touch. Or she would be out of the house, especially at night, going to what Vivie supposed was her job.

So, since she was never there, Enzie took care of them.

It wasn’t normal. It wasn’t how the other children lived. Enzie was not an adult, at least Vivie didn’t think so. Bettie said he was as much of a child as she was.

But Vivie couldn’t do anything about it. As of right now, all she could do was finish her morning snack, brush her teeth, let Enzie dress her up and follow her older siblings as they packed for school, listening to the same instructions Enzie gave them each day : “Don’t go with any strangers.”, “Listen to your teachers.”, “Don’t get in trouble.”

Maybe it wasn’t normal, but it was all that Vivie knew. And at the very least, she supposed it was better than nothing.

---------------

October 30, 2134

Vivie didn’t understand how she ended up here, on the examination table of the nearest doctor. She had been in the bedroom, getting yelled at by Donnie for taking his clothes. She always liked his clothes more than her own. But when Enzie arrived to investigate the noise, a confusion happened.

Donnie complained that Vivie took his yellow shirt and his red pants. And while Vivie couldn’t lie about that, she insisted that everything she was wearing was of the same color and that Donnie was using two words that meant the same thing. While Donnie and Vivie went back and forth about colors, Enzie went to pick up a few clothes. He then quickly interrupted his younger siblings, sat Vivie down and asked her to tell him the color of each outfit.

The four years-old was confused but decided to comply. Describing blue shirts, purple costumes and pink underwear. But then, there was the color of the clothes she was wearing, a color Vivie had heard being called by three different names : yellow, red and green.

Each time the clothes would have this color, she would use one of those words randomly, getting several huffs from Donnie, making her feel like she was doing something wrong.

After a few more, the thirteen years-old asked Donnie to close the blinds and turn off every light, which the six years-old quickly did. Then, Enzie requested that his sister remove her sunglasses.

They tried his game again, leading to the same results. The girl started sniffing while twirling one temple of her sunglasses. Was there something wrong with her ? Were her eyes wrong again ? Enzie was quick to hold her and calm her down, singing her her favorite lullaby.

Next thing Vivie knew, she was walked to the hospital by her brother. There, a doctor tried to look at her eyes with a light, leading to a lot of struggling from the young child. He then followed with a guessing game with numbers hidden inside colored circles. It was only then that the doctor explained what was wrong with her.

He called it “color-blindness”. It meant that she didn’t see colors the same way other people did, the same way her siblings did. In his explanation, the doctor mentioned how it was incredibly rare for a girl to be colorblind without any sibling or parent being colorblind as well. Enzie replied that he never questioned his parents about it. And while Mamma seemed able to see colors just fine, the teen had no idea if Papà was the same as her.

But, in any case, there was a way to partially fix this.

The doctor excused himself for a minute, letting the anxious teen and the fidgety child alone. Enzie went to sit next to his sister, who was quick to jump on his lap. He ran a finger through the toddler’s curly hair and she pressed her head against his chest. She smiled, feeling peaceful and safe in his arms.

When the doctor came back, he was holding a small pair of glasses with orange lens, along with two identical balls. Enzie stood back up and the doctor gave the plastic balls to the toddler, telling her to raise her head so that he could put the new glasses.

Once Vivie opened her eyes with the new glasses in place, she found herself squeal in surprise.

The balls in her hands, they weren’t the same color at all ! And those colors…had she even seen them before ?!

While the doctor was talking to her brother, Vivie kept putting the glasses on and off, noticing the immediate difference in colors. How could this even be ?!

But before she could ask any question, Enzie gave her the other pair of sunglasses, took her in his arms, thanked the doctor and left the office.

Vivie seated herself in her brother’s arms, the movement from his walking slowly rocking her to sleep.

“Vivie ?”, the teen’s voice took away the fog in her mind.

“huh ?”

“Did you like seeing those colors with the new glasses ?”

“uh-huh.”, the toddler nodded.

“Do you want to have glasses like that all the time.”

“Yes !”, she replied, her head snapping away from Enzie’s shoulder.

“Then this Saturday we’ll got get you a pair. Okay ?”

“Okay !”

“Good. Now let’s go back home before Donnie or Bettie get on mamma’s nerves.”

As the teenager walked at a fast pace, a new question arose in his sister’s mind.

“Enzie ?”

“Yes ?”

“Do you…you will fall down for my new glasses ?”, the toddler asked full of worry. Bettie had told her the story of how she got her sunglasses. Apparently, she had refused to open her eyes as a baby and, everytime Enzie asked mamma to go see a doctor, she refused. She “didn’t care enough”, Bettie said. So Enzie decided to give her a reason to go, and jumped from a window, forcing mamma to bring him to the hospital, where the then-child was able to convince the doctor to help Vivie.

“Will I…oh ! Oh no, don’t worry !”, the teenager’s laugh didn’t do anything to ease Vivie’s worry. She pouted.

“Do not get hurt !”, she insisted.

“I promise you Vivie, we’re just going to go to a store. I…”, he looked away. “I can get the money for it…I mean…I’m sure mamma wouldn’t mind losing a few euros…”

“Mamma will help ? With no you falling ?”

“She will.”, Enzie assured. “And I won’t fall. Don’t worry about it, piccolina. Everything’s going to be alright.”

---------------

July 4, 2136

Vivie was hiding in a closet. She had done it again. She had taken Donnie’s clothes.

It was something she did a lot, something she had done for a long time now.

It wasn’t that she found it fun to annoy Donnie ! She just didn’t like her clothes. Bettie had tried to get her “good-looking girl clothes” with the little money they had for it, but Vivie couldn’t care less. She only wore the same few outfits, the ones that Bettie never called “girly”. The only “girly” thing she continuously wore was a heart-shaped pink hairclip, but only because it made her sister very happy.

She didn’t want “pretty girl clothes”, she liked Donnie’s clothes more, even if they were too big for her. She actually liked the size of these clothes, as she could flap her hands with the too-long sleeves of his winter shirts.

Sometimes, when Vivie wore his clothes, Donnie would just let it go and they’ll keep playing together. But other times, like today, Donnie got upset by it. And now, the seven years-old had gone to fetch their older brother.

So Vivie stayed hidden, not wanting to face Enzie’s anger. Las time she saw him, the fifteen years-old had been with Bettie, busy doing homework. And Enzie didn’t like being interrupted by their “small and stupid arguments”, as he once put it. Especially for homework. For the last year, he had been complaining more and more about how he never had the time to just sit down and work with three noisy kids running around and needing him left and right.

Still, it didn’t take long for the child to hear the sound of his footsteps getting louder and louder as he approached.

“Vivie !”, the older brother called.

“I’m not here !”, the five years-old replied. She heard her brother sigh.

“Vivie, come out there. We need to have a talk.”

“I don’t want to !”, another sigh.

“Vivie, I’m not mad at you. Just come out. I’m not going to yell.”

“...Promise ?”

“Promise.”

Tentatively, Vivie opened the closet’s door and caught sign of her brother. He was sitting on her and Donnie’s bed. As she opened the door a little more, he patted the space next to him.

She left the closet and went to sit on the bed. Enzie watched as the child scooted over towards him, looked at his face, scooted a little more, looked at him again and finally moved to sit on his knees.

“You want to talk ?”, Vivie asked.

The teen nodded.

“You’re not angry ?”

He shook his head. Vivie looked in front of her as she considered it. If Enzie wasn’t angry about the clothes, then why did he want to talk to her ? But her thoughts were interrupted by the fifteen years-old putting a hand in her hair, prompting his sister to snuggle against his chest.

“Polpetta ?”

“Yeah ?”

“Why do you keep stealing Donnie’s clothes ?”

“I don’t steal them.”, Vivie protested. “I wear them.”

“And why don’t you wear your clothes ? You don’t like them ?”, Enzie’s voice was calm and soft, though Vivie could still hear the sternness and tiredness his voice often carried.

The child shook her head as a reply.

“But you like Donnie’s clothes ?”

“Yes.”

“Why do you like them more than yours ?”

Vivie had to pause to think for a moment. With her worry from earlier and the drowsiness form feeling a hand play with her hair, she found it hard to think.

“Is it because of the colors ?”, Enzie continued. “Or the size ? Or is it because you have girl clothes ?”

“Yes ! That !”, she suddenly jerked.

“You don’t like girl clothes ?”

“Nuh-uh.”, she replied.

“Why not ?”

Vivie was back to thinking. Why didn’t she like girl clothes ? She knew she didn’t like it when Bettie called them girl clothes, but why ?

“Do you want me to tell you what I think ?”, Enzie asked with a smile. Vivie looked up at his face and the teen chuckled. “I think you don’t like girl clothes because you don’t like being a girl. Do you like being a girl ?”

Yet again, Vivie looked away with a frown as she tried to concentrate. Was it true ? Did she not like being a girl ?

Vivie didn’t like her girl clothes. She didn’t like people pointing at her and saying she was a girl. And everytime Bettie wanted to play with her, Vivie would refuse. She didn’t like playing dress-up with Bettie. She preferred to play marbles or yoyo with Donnie. Even at school, she tried and liked spending time with boys more than girls, even though the largest group of boys always rejected her.

But were all these feelings because she wasn’t a girl ?

“I dunno.”, she finally replied, looking at Enzie with a pleading look, as if her brother held all the answers.

“Let me put it that way.”, the teenager continued. “If you were a boy, would you be happy about it ? Just imagine yourself as a boy. With boy clothes. A boy’s voice. A boy’s name.”

Vivie did. She could picture herself among the other boys of kindergarten. She looked like them, talked like them, belonged with them. The thought made her smile. When she opened her eyes, she bounced, looking at her brother with a smile.

“I want to be a boy !”, she exclaimed.

“Are you sure ?”

Vivie nodded excitedly.

“Alright then.”, the teen shrugged. “Polpetta-to, since you’re so eager at the thought of being a boy, how about we got get the tablet downstair to find you an actual boy’s name ? And see if you like it ?”

Vivie jumped off of Enzie’s laps and ran downstairs, leaving the room before the teenager even had the time to stand up.

Half an hour later and the two siblings were still at the coffee table, Enzie reading through a list of names starting with the letter “v”. Vivie wanted a new name that sounded like her current one.

“Vittore ?”

“ummm. No.”

“What about Vladimir ?”

“…Maybe ?”

“We could call you Vladdie. Or Vaddie.”

“no.”

“Are you even sure you want a new name ? Maybe I was wrong earlier when I said you were a boy.”

“No ! You’re not wrong ! I’m a boy ! I want a boy’s name ! Just like you and Donnie !”

“Alright then.”, the teen sighed. He mumbled something.

“huh ?”

“Nevermind. How abou-“

“What are you two doing ?”, Vivie’s head perked up at the sound of Bettie’s voice. The eleven years-old was on top of the stairs, trying to look at the tablet over Enzie’s shoulder.

“Looking for a name for our little brother over here.”, the teen replied. “Where’s Donnie ?”

“In the bedroom.”, Bettie walked down the stairs. “You know Enzie, when I complained that Vivie acts like she wants to be a boy instead of being stuck as a girl, I was joking.”

“Maybe you were but he wasn’t. At least I think.”

he…their brother… Vivie liked being called that.

“Then…it looks like I don’t have a little sister after all.”, Bettie commented with a hint of sadness in her voice. This made Vivie frown. Sh-…He didn’t want to make his sister sad.

“Maybe not,”, the oldest brother defended. “but instead, you have a great little brother.”

“I guess…”, she went to stand near Vivie, her younger brother. “So,”, she continued. “you’re looking for a boy’s name ?”

“Uh-huh !”, the child replied.

“Found anything you like yet ?”

“We’re trying.”, Enzie replied, putting his head back onto the list.

With the teen’s attention away, Bettie turned back to Vivie.

“Say, once you’re done with that, how about we go return your clothes and buy you better ones ?”

“Yes !”, Vivie jumped in his seat. That’s when he remembered the hairclip he was still wearing. He took it off and presented it to Bettie. “For you.”, he explained. “I won’t wear it now. But you like it. So you should wear it.”

Bettie smiled. “Alright. Whatever you say, patatino.”, she looked at Enzie. “Found other names ?”

“You have Vivaldo, Vidone, Vezio, Vincenzo or Vincent in English,-”

“Vincenzo ?”, for some reason, the name stuck with him. Vincenzo…

“Do you like it ?”, Bettie asked. Vivie nodded. “You want to be called Vincenzo ?”

“I think so…yeah…yes ! I want to be Vincenzo !”

“Finally !”, Enzie sighed, dropping the tablet on the table. The two younger siblings just stared at him, until he glanced back and smirked. Bettie laughed.

“Let’s go return your old clothes, Vincenzo.”, the sister said, already on the move.

“Coming !”, the youngest sibling jumped to follow but was interrupted by a hand on his shoulder. Enzie ruffled his hair with a smile.

“Hope you’re going to enjoy being a boy, Vinnie.”

When the evening came, there was one last thing to do.

Vincenzo…Vinnie was standing in the doorway, his fingers tapping the wall as he anxiously watched Enzie walking towards Mamma. The woman was in the kitchen, making herself one of those drink Enzie prevented them to touch.

“…Claudia ?”, the teen asked.

“You know better than to bother me, Enzo.”, Mamma replied in a sharp tone without looking up from her bottle. She took a sip while Enzie seemed to gather his courage.

“It’s about-“

“Enzo.”, Mamma warned. Vinnie didn’t miss how her hand moved to the top of the bottle and he shivered, grabbing the wall. He knew exactly what mamma could do when she was angry.

“Vinnie is a boy, not a girl !”, the fifteen years-old blurted out before taking a few steps back.

Mamma turned around and glared at her son, but she didn’t make a move to hit him. Still, this didn’t make Vinnie feel any less tense.

“Vivie…Viviana. His name is Vincenzo now. He’s a boy.”, Enzie continued with a firmer voice.

Mamma’s gaze seemed to lose some of its anger, though she still gave the teen a dirty look. After a few seconds, she glanced at the child at the door and Vinnie froze. She started to make her way towards him, almost instantly followed by Enzie who ran to his little brother, holding him protectively against his chest.

Mamma ignored him, her gaze on her youngest child. Vinnie looked down, gripping Enzie’s shirt in fear.

“Very well, Vincenzo. And please make your brother understand not to bother me when I’m busy or he’ll deeply regret this.”, and with that, she went to her bedroom, bottle in hand.

Once she was out of view, Enzie let out a deep sigh of relief and let go of his brother. Vinnie continued to cling on his shirt for a moment. He started crying and buried his head in Enzie’s chest, trying to cover his sobs. The older brother ran his fingers in Vinnie’s hair in a soothing motion.

“Shhh, let it all out. It’s okay to cry.”, Vinnie kept his head where it was, though his sobs became louder. “There you go. It’s alright. Everything’s alright.”, Enzie was right, and Vinnie knew it.

Vinnie had a new name. He had new clothes.

His siblings supported him.

Enzie told him that, if he did continue to feel like a boy, there could be a few changes for him to do once he’s older, at least if he wished to. Enzie promised he would do anything to make sure these changes happen.

But for now, they did everything that could be done.

They talked to mamma.

Mamma had accepted him.

…

He was going to be alright.

As long as he stayed away from mamma, as long as he kept listening to Enzie, everything was going to be fine.

---------------

March 22, 2137

Vinnie didn’t know what to make of Papà.

As far as the six years-old could remember, which wasn’t a lot, papà would show up from time to time starting in January. He would spend the afternoon talking to mamma, or going to her bedroom, and then he would leave.

Papà never stayed the entire night. He never showed up two days in a row.

And once spring was coming to an end, during the first days of July, he would leave and not come back for the rest of the year.

Vinnie was curious about the man. He was his papà after all ! But he never got to interact with him, never got to sit down and talk to him. He wanted to learn who he was, what he liked, why he was only here from time to time and why it was only during winter and spring…

Vinnie had tried asking his siblings about papà, but none of them gave him a satisfying answer.

Donnie was as lost as he was. He never had an opportunity to talk to papà, always afraid to run into mamma or to have Enzie yell at him for it.

Bettie looked at Vinnie with sad eyes, told him not to go see papà, that he was dangerous. When the brother asked why, the twelve years-old refused to answer.

As for Enzie…

Enzie didn’t like papà. He said papà was very dangerous, that he didn’t care about them, that the four kids shouldn’t waste their time with him.

Everytime the kids would stumble across him while walking through the house, papà would stop in his tracks to gaze at them with an indecipherable expression. Enzie would immediately shush his younger siblings away, all while glaring at the man. Sometimes, Vinnie would look at his papà and see him glare back at the teen.

While Vinnie didn’t know much about his papà, since he never got to interact with him, there was at least one thing he was sure of.

Enzie hated papà.

Papà hated Enzie.

And because of that, Enzie would never let his siblings approach him.

But one day, Vinnie got an occasion to talk to him.

Enzie was doing homework upstairs with Bettie. Now that the teenager was in high-school, and with the other siblings old enough to be unsupervised for a while, Enzie decided to spend more time working on his future. In the meantime, Bettie has chosen to step up and help him, looking after her younger siblings if needed.

But right now, neither of them was downstairs. Same thing for Donnie.

That was how Vinnie found himself peeking inside the living-room where his parents were. His papà was sitting on the couch with his arms and legs stretched out, while mamma seemed to be “making herself a drink” as Bettie called it. The child crouched down at the entrance and listened as his papà talked.

“-shouldn’t be there anyways.”

“You say the same thing every single year, Pietro. And yet, you always come crawling back to me. It’s been more than ten years. Just admit you can’t help it.”

“Just like you can’t help having your load of kids ? Do you have any idea how much they cost me ?!”

“You can stop sending me money any time you want.”, Vinnie could almost hear the laugh in her voice. “But I don’t think your little family will take it very well once I go to ask them for my money.”

Papà grumbled and looked away from her. “You’re the shittiest human being I ever met, Claudia. I hope you know that.”

“You’re no better yourself. Lying and cheating at any given chance. Honestly it’s a miracle she still doesn’t suspect a thing. You two really found each other. So naïve and in denial of the truth about the world. ~ ”

As mamma kept smirking and teasing papà, the man was getting more and more angry. Vinnie could see his hands gripping on the sofa, as if trying to rip it off. This made the child tense up at the prospect of his parents fighting.

“What now ?”, mamma suddenly spat in annoyance. The two adults glanced at Vinnie, and that’s when he realized that he had been anxiously tapping on the doorway’s wall, giving himself away with his noise.

“Umm…hi…”, Vinnie said in a quiet voice, waving awkwardly. Now that he had been caught spying, he might as well show himself more. Who knew, maybe this would be his only occasion ever to talk to papà !

Mamma just huffed and went back to pour her glass, while papà kept his eyes on the child.

“This is the youngest one, right ?”, papà asked. “Viviana ?”

“Vincenzo.”, mamma corrected before Vinnie could. “Turns out your daughter was a son this whole time.”

“And you changed her-his name, without my permission ?!”

“If you have a problem with that, you can talk to Enzo about it.”

Papà looked down, teeth gritted. “This child should learn a little respect.”, he spat.

“Have fun telling him that.”, mamma replied, completely impassive.

“Why don’t you at least try to teach that boy anything ?!”

“I don’t know. Why do you suddenly care about these children ?”, she shrugged. “Besides, Enzo’s almost an adult. He’s not my problem anymore.”

“You’re going to throw him out ?”

“He intends to throw himself out.”, mamma explained. “But maybe if you give us more financial support, he would have half a mind to stay.”, she joked. Papà was not amused at all.

The man punched the couch and fell silent, looking away from the mother and son. For a few moments, Vinnie just stood there, observing the man with hesitation. He knew he should be leaving, now. If Enzie saw him there, his older brother would kill him. But right now, as he felt so close to having a moment with the older man, his curiosity to meet his father was stronger than his fear of consequences.

Eventually, Vinnie saw papà’s fists unclench. This prompted the child to try and make a move. With hope to finally have a conversation with the man, Vinnie tentatively walked to the couch. When the man didn’t move, Vinnie put a hand on his knee.

Still no reaction.

Getting more and more hopeful, the six years-old hopped on his knees. Papà still didn’t move.

Well, it seemed like Vinnie had to start the conversation.

“I…um…”, Vinnie had his hands on his own knees, opening and closing his legs awkwardly as he thought of what to say. “I’m…I’m not Vivie anymore. I’m Vinnie now.”

No response.

After a few seconds, Vinnie started wondering if maybe his siblings were right. If maybe it would be better to just let it go and leave, especially seeing the dirty look mamma was giving him. But before the child could move, something he didn’t expect happened.

Papà put a hand on his back.

Vinnie froze and looked up. The man still wasn’t looking at him.

Without much thinking, Vinnie pressed his face against papà’s chest. Suddenly, the hand on his back start moving, reaching his shoulder and slowly rubbing it.

Vinnie looked up as papà looked down at his face. The child smiled but his gesture wasn’t reciprocated. The older man just seemed to study his face, keeping the same neutral expression.

Vinnie had no idea how much time wet by before papà decided to open his mouth.

“Why are you wearing those ?”, he asked, tapping the corner of Vinnie’s sunglasses.

Vinnie felt himself ready to jump in happiness. Papà was talking to him ! They were having an actual conversation ! He could learn more about him !

But instead, Vinnie did his best to stay calm, letting his only sign of excitement be the rapid movement of his legs. He really didn’t want to ruin the moment.

Besides, thinking of how papà had acted earlier made the child feel intimidated by the man.

“It’s..for my eyes.”, he explained. “The light is bad for my eyes. So I need to wear those. I also can’t see every color without them.”

“How did you get the money for that ?”, the man asked, glancing at mamma. “Why wasn’t I told about this ?”

“You would have known already if you spent more time here taking care of your children, since you suddenly seem to love them so much.”, she replied in a sharp tone. “Or would it be too suspicious for your dearest missus ? ~ ”

Papà didn’t replied, instead looking back at the child still in his lap. Vinnie didn’t really know what the adults were talking about, and he had a feeling it wasn’t something he was supposed to understand. If anybody were to take care of it, it would be Enzie.

Vinnie was still in his thoughts when papà lifted his head with a finger, taking a better look at his eyes. Remembering his experience at school, Vinnie instinctively grabbed the sides of his glasses in case papà tried to remove them.

“Your eyes…”, the man commented. “They’re different colors ?”

“Uh ? Oh ! Oh yes they are !”, Vinnie was quick to reply. He smiled again, seriously wondering why Enzie was so against them talking to papà. Sure, the man was a bit scary when talking with mamma, but at least he seemed to care about his son. More than mamma at least…Or, well, when he was around at least…

“Vincenzo ?”, papà was moving a hand in front of Vinnie’s face.

“Uh ? Oh ! right ! My eyes !”, Vinnie quickly pointed to his left eye, tapping the glass. “This one is blue. And this one-“, he pointed to his right eye. “is brown. Just like yours !”, he commented with a smile.

“…Sure.”

The man fell silent again and Vinnie looked down, trying to find another thing to say.

“…Sa-“

“VINNIE !”

Vinnie froze at the familiar and booming sound of his oldest brother’s voice.

Uh oh…

“Enz-“, papà tried.

“YOU GET AWAY FROM HIM !”

Enzie ran into the room, snatched the six years-old away and walked out, all while looking at the older man with a murderous stare. Vinnie was able to give one last glance at his parents before the door closed, seeing papà stare in confusion and anger at Enzie while mamma walked towards the man with the same impassive expression, as if she had expected something like that to happen.

With the door now closed, Enzie put his attention onto the scared child.

“WHAT WHERE YOU THINKING BEING WITH THEM ?!”

“I…I just wanted to talk to papà…”, Vinnie sheepishly replied, his head down.

“THAT MAN IS DANGEROUS, VINNIE !”

“But we were just talkin-“

“VINNIE !”

Vinnie fell quiet, finding himself unable to meet his brother’s gaze. He instead focused on the underside of the shirt he was gripping on.

After a few moments, Enzie managed to regain his composure. He sighed.

“Listen, Vinnie. I know you just want to talk to papà, but that man is a bad person. I’ve seen him hurt mamma before, he’s as dangerous as she is, if not more.”, Enzie lifted Vinnie’s head. “I just want you to be safe, polpetto, alright ?”, Vinnie nodded, still avoiding Enzie’s eyes. “Good.”, Enzie kissed his forehead. “Now let’s get back upstairs, alright ? I think I can already hear Donnie calling for you. ~ ”, the teen said in a way that Vinnie knew was an attempt to light up the mood.

“…Alright.”

Enzie held Vinnie’s hand as he led him to his bedroom. Vinnie just followed in silence, stuck into his own mind.

Enzie was a good person. He took care of Bettie, Donnie and him.

Enzie hated papà, and papà hated Enzie.

But did that really mean that papà was a bad person ?

Was there really no way he could prove that papà was better than Enzie thought ?

…

…Will Vinnie ever get the occasion to talk to him again ?

---------------

April 10, 2137

Enzie and Bettie talked a lot when they were doing homework. Sometimes, Vinnie would hide behind the office’s door to listen to them.

They talked about all kinds of topics. From school to the girls Bettie liked to even Donnie and Vinnie and how annoying the brothers could be at times, making the older duo feel exhausted.

But other times, they would talk about their parents, about how they felt about them.

It was obvious that Enzie hated those kinds of talks. But at the same time, he always seemed to use Bettie’s curiosity as an occasion to tell her to avoid being around them.

Bettie mostly asked questions about the relationship between her parents and why they acted the way they did. Enzie answered as best as he could, but even he barely knew about them.

However, among the flow of questions Vinnie heard Bettie ask, one in particular stood out to him.

Does mamma have other men in her life ? Does the four of us come from the same papà ?

When she asked this, Bettie was mostly talking about Donnie and how different the eight years-old looked compared to his siblings.

Curious, Vinnie started to pay attention to the facial features of his family and, soon enough, the six years-old understood what his sister meant :

Out of all of them, Donnie was the only one who didn’t look like papà at all.

Enzie was almost a perfect replica of papà. He had the man’s square chin and nose, his thick eyebrows that were more than often furrowed, along with papà’s curly hair that, in Enzie’s case, was slowly growing past his shoulders. Vinnie wondered how much the sixteen years-old hated looking so much like the man he despised more than anyone else. The only real difference between the men was color, with Enzie having mamma’s black hair and blue eyes where papà had brown eyes and light brown hair.

Vinnie was the second closest to papà. Just like Enzie, he had his old man’s chin, nose and curly hair, though his chin wasn’t as pronounced as his oldest brother. Vinnie even had a brown eye and brown hair, even if his hair was darker than papà’s. Aside from that, the child had one blue eye, like mamma’s, and his eyebrows were not as thick as papà’s or Enzie’s.

Bettie, on the other hand, was more of a mix of her parents. While she had a square chin, it was less pronounced, like for Vinnie. She also had mamma’s smaller nose and eyebrows. For the rest, it was all papà’s. She had his brown eyes and curly hair, which she almost always tied into a bun.

Finally, there was Donnie, who couldn’t be more alike to mamma. He had her rounder head, smaller nose, thin eyebrows and her long straight raven hair that he kept in a ponytail. The only thing that made him different from her, aside from height, voice and personality, was his brown eyes that deferred from her ocean blue ones. Though, as Bettie had pointed it out, a lot of people had brown eyes. From her point of view, any man with brown eyes could be Donnie’s father.

Vinnie never talked about it to Donnie. He didn’t feel the need to.

Even if he did wonder sometimes if they had the same father, it didn’t change the fact that Donnie was his big brother. That Donnie was his best friend and favorite playmate.

Papà or not, Vinnie loved Donnie as much as he loved Bettie and Enzie. If not more.

---------------

November 15, 2138

Today was the day.

It was Enzie’s 18th birthday. The day everything was going to get better. The day they were finally getting away from mamma and papà !

The oldest brother had been talking about it to his siblings for months. Now that he was an adult, he could “have custody of you three instead of losing you to the system”, as he said. Vinnie wasn’t sure if he fully understood what Enzie meant. At least there was one thing he was sure of.

Enzie was trying to protect them no matter the cost. He was willing to do anything for them.

That’s what led the four of them into a lawyer’s office.

Mamma was there with them. As far as Vinnie knew, she hadn’t shown any objections to her son’s decision and even wanted to help his case, claiming that the fastest the trial would go, the less money she would have to waste.

Mamma was sitting in one of the two chairs of the small office. Vinnie and Donnie were sharing the second one, the two oldest siblings standing between them and their mother. Vinnie was bouncing his legs, squirming a bit in his chair. Several times, Bettie gently nudged him, telling him to stand still, but he simply couldn’t do it.

He was bored.

Enzie and the lawyer were talking things Vinnie didn’t understand. And when he understood, his mind would quickly end up zoning out. He mostly thought about how papà was supposed to be here, wondering what was taking the man so long.

He wished he had his toys with him right now. Or anything else that could distract him.

It was during a short moment of focus that Vinnie heard the footsteps coming from the hall, getting louder and louder.

The door busted open, revealing a woman the eight years-old had never met before. She had long frizzy brown hair that was slowly falling back on her shoulders after her running. As she entered the room, she pushed her glasses back onto her nose and looked around until her emerald eyes landed on mamma. She glared at the black-haired lady.

“I had to see it with my own eyes to believe it !”, the new woman said.

“Missus Dakota, I presume ?”, mamma replied. She was sitting cross-legged, her arms folded and her eyes closed, seemingly completely unfazed by what was happening. This confused Vinnie. How could she be so calm when some stranger was yelling at her ?

The child, on the other hand, was glancing in fear at the new lady. When the door had opened, he instinctively took hold of Donnie’s shirt. The ten years-old had been quick to return the gesture. Meanwhile, Bettie had gotten closer to the chair while Enzie stood between the three of them and the door, arms stretched protectively.

“To think this all went under my nose for EIGHTEEN YEARS !”, the lady continued. Vinnie’s grip on his brother’s shirt tightened. The lady was taller than mamma, somehow making her even more intimidating in the moment.

Before mamma could reply, new footsteps could be heard outside. Despite the commotion in the room, all eyes turned towards the door. Two children peeked inside the room. They looked around the same ages as Donnie and Vinnie. But more importantly, their features looked awfully familiar to Vinnie.

Enzie was the first to react.

“Who the hell are you ?!”, he yelled, pointing at the two children. “Who are all of you and what are you doing here ?!”

Before the lady could answer, papà finally arrived, looking at her with an uncertain gaze.

“Serena, you shouldn-“, he tried gently.

“DON’T YOU TRY FINDING EXCUSES !”, the lady replied, her anger now directed towards papà. “HOW DARE YOU HIDE ME ALL THIS ?!”, she continued to yell, cutting papà everytime he was opening his mouth.

Vinnie started feeling tears form at the corner of his eyes. He was scared. Overwhelmed. He had no idea what was happening aside from “the adults are all fighting”. So naturally, the eight years-old turned his attention towards the one new adult that was always there when he was feeling upset. He moved to sit with his chest against the chair’s back, gripping it tightly. From here, he had a good view of his eldest brother.

Surely Enzie had the solution to all this. Surely he could make it all better.

At least, that was what Vinnie hoped.

The oldest brother was looking between the different adults in disbelief. Suddenly, he froze with a look of horror, as if he had just understood something really, really bad.

“YOU HAD A WIFE THIS WHOLE TIME ?!”

Somehow, Enzie’s booming voice managed to quiet the fighting. The lady -Serena- looked at him in confusion for a second, until her face bared the same shocked expression as the oldest brother.

“You didn’t know…?”, her whisper was barely audible. She glanced at the rest of the siblings. “None of you did…?”, while Vinnie believed she was still angry and could blow at any instant, he felt like there was a hint of sadness in her voice. Was she feeling pity for them ? Why for ? What did Enzie meant ? With everything happening, Vinnie found himself unable to follow.

“Bettina.”, mamma suddenly interrupted. Serena’s expression immediately darkened, as if she had just remembered the other woman was in the room. “Why don’t you take your younger siblings outside ? The adults are talking, and there’s already enough shouting as it stands.”

“I…um”, Bettie glanced at Enzie. The older brother put a hand on her shoulder and Vinnie could hear him whisper “go”. “Alright. Yeah.”, she turned to the boys still on the chair. “Come on, ometti. Let’s go to that playground we saw on the way in.”

Donnie and Vinnie shared a confused look before getting down the chair. The room was deadly silent as Bettie took their hands and led them out, under the adults’ gazes.

Right before the door closed behind them, Vinnie turned around one last time, seeing the adults ready to go at it again under the confused and concerned look of the lawyer.

He hoped Enzie would be alright…

--------------

December 3, 2138

The case had been taken into court. There had been a trial already, during which each sibling had been asked to testify about their living conditions. The younger trio spent their entire time talking about how their oldest brother had been taking care of them for as long as they could remember.

Vinnie didn’t know how to feel about all this. He had a hard time understanding everything. But most importantly, he was getting impatient.

It was obvious that mamma was bad at taking care of them. Why couldn’t the judge see it already ? They should already be on the road by now ! The eight years-old and his brother Donnie had already started to pack. Somehow, they hoped it could make things go faster.

The whole situation had also taken a toll on Vinnie’s grades. He already had trouble at school, between barely finding the motivation to do any homework unless someone was helping him and being seen by his teachers as agitated, more so than the other kids. And now that he had to worry about where he will end up soon, Vinnie simply couldn’t help zoning out in class to think about it.

And after the first trial, it only grew worse.

His teachers had gotten angry and started punishing him for it.

Vinnie couldn’t wait for Enzie to take them away.

…

…Enzie…

These last weeks, the older brother had been…distant. He spent all of his free-time in the office, working on his case. He only helped his siblings with basic things. Mostly food.

But more than that, the eighteen years-old had gotten more aggressive towards his parents since that day in the lawyer’s office. He couldn’t stand being downstairs if mamma was around. He was insulting them at any given chance, including during the trial they had had.

Enzie was also trying to get things to go as fast as possible. He absolutely wanted to leave before spring, before papà was around again.

Or so Vinnie thought he did.

According to Bettie, papà wasn’t going to ever come back home. At first, when the youngest brothers asked why, she refused to answer.

It had been like this ever since the day they met the lawyer. When they came back home that day, Enzie locked himself in a room, eventually letting Bettie in to tell her everything. The two then refused to explain the situation to their brothers.

That was, until one day.

Enzie had come back home, looking more stressed than usual. When Bettie went to ask if everything was alright, he snapped at her -something about their parents being the absolute worst-, and went to lock himself in the office. After that, Bettie had gone back to the bedroom, clearly upset by it all. And when Donnie and Vinnie asked her what Enzie meant, she told them the truth that forever changed Vinnie’s perception of his father :

Their parents never loved them. They never wanted them. At least, not the way they were meant to be wanted.

Their mother was a drug dealer, a criminal. There wasn’t a single penny she earned honestly. Her whole life revolved around getting money through schemes.

As it turned out, having children had been one of those schemes.

Mamma and papà met in an alley, in the middle of the night. Mamma had been out to sell illegal substances. Papà had gotten bored being home alone. His wife, Serena Dakota, had a job that led her to leave the country between January and July. They hadn’t been married for long when mamma and papà met. Bettie said it might have been a reason for his actions.

Papà “wanted a good time”, as Bettie said. He was out to meet a few women, doing things the older sister refused to explain to her brothers.

It was while looking for those women that papà ran into mamma. And when she heard what he wanted, she decided to use the situation to her advantage.

“She held him at gunpoint.”, Bettie explained to them. “The first night, Mamma had looked to steal his phone while he was sleeping and found the wedding ring he had been hiding in his jacket. She used that to blackmail him once Enzie was on the way.”

At first, papà had been happy to spend time with mamma. But then, his wife came home and they had to stop seeing each other. A month later, mamma called him out of nowhere.

She was pregnant.

According to Bettie, this had never been papà’s plan. Mamma had promised him that she was being careful. But, as per usual, mamma lied.

Knowing the child was his, she had been able to get money from him, threatening to reveal his secret to his wife. In exchange, papà only asked for two things : being the one to name them, and being able to visit them whenever.

The money had been the reason why mamma would sometimes go out with them or make sure they had good enough clothes or even prevent any of them from dying. She had to pretend like she liked her children. She needed people to believe they were one happy family, or else someone could call child services and “take away her safest source of income”. And while papà visiting them wasn’t part of her plan, it still at least helped her hiding the reality of her parenting.

Bettie believed that papà felt bad for them. The reason why he visited wasn’t because mamma forced him to be there. Sometimes, he just wanted to see his children, make sure they were still alive and well.

This was no excuse.

Even with Enzie’s warryness, he had had dozens of chances to talk to them, to be there for them.

At any moment, he could have said the truth to his wife. Instead, he lied to her. He kept her in the dark and made sure she still loved him. He had children with her, children he took care of. Children he loved.

Children he had chosen the name of years before they were born. Names he made sure none of his “other kids” had.

As he was hearing the truth, Vinnie felt like his parents had just thrown one of their bottles on his body, the glass piercing through his chest. For the following hour after Bettie finished explaining, Vinnie had felt empty. He ended up lying in Bettie’s arms, completely frozen, completely unfazed by the world around him.

Enzie was right.

Enzie had always been right.

Their parents were dangerous. Their parents never loved them. Their parents couldn’t care any less about them.

There was no point trying to get their attention, trying to get their affection. They were heartless. They never had the space in their hearts for him.

Vinnie was an unwanted child. They all were.

They were children born from an affair. Used by their monstrous mother to get money from their unconcerned father.

Enzie had been right all along.

…

From now on, Vinnie would listen to Enzie. He would listen to everything his older brother says.

Unlike his parents, Enzie loved him. Enzie wanted what was best for him.

Enzie was the only parent he needed.

---------------

March 22, 2139

“It had been clear for a long time now that Ms. Claudia Drowssap and Mr. Pietro Dakota are not fit to take care of their biological children. However, the question of whether or not Mr. Enzo Dakota could take care of said children had yet to be answered. Today, we have chosen an answer to this question.

While we still remain uncertain of his abilities to provide for them, this court had been told that Mr. Dakota found job opportunities along with possible apartments in Napoli. Furthermore, it is painfully obvious that Mr. Dakota is incredibly attached to his siblings and had been their only anchor for most of their life. For their own well-being as well as his, we believe that separating the four of them is out of the question.

Thus, this court is ready to give its judgment. The custody of the present Bettina, Donatello and Vincenzo Dakota will be granted to their brother Mr. Enzo Dakota. Their parents, Ms. Claudia Drowssap and Mr. Pietro Dakota, will have to repair their inaptitude by paying child support for the next five years. Furthermore, Ms. Drowssap and Mr. Dakota Sr are not to be allowed to visit their children. Finally, they will not be able to keep any other child they may have in the future.

If Mr. Dakota Jr decides to file a claim for child abuse, more consequences might come their way.

This court is adjourned.”

Vinnie couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

They did it.

They really did it !

The banging of the gavel resonated across the room, announcing the end of this session. The end of their last session. Vinnie jumped out of his seat, seeing from the corner of his eyes that he wasn’t the only one. As soon as the way was cleared enough, Bettie and Donnie ran towards Enzie. The youngest sibling immediately followed suit.

They jumped into his arms, all smiles and laughs. Even after they pulled away, the happy chatter remained. Bettie congratulated Enzie excitedly while Donnie was holding onto her, pushing her back and forth. Vinnie himself was jumping in place, his fists shaking left and right in excitement.

They were finally free ! They could finally get away from mamma and papà !

After a few more moments of celebration, Enzie led the group outside. They had to go home and pack up. The oldest brother told them they would leave as soon as possible.

“ENZO !”

The siblings had barely finished walking down the stairs when they saw papà walking towards them. The man was walking fast, teeth gritted and fists clenched, looking at his oldest son with a murderous glare.

Enzie stood in front of his younger siblings, shielding them with his arms. Afraid, Vinnie went to hug Donnie. When papà was only a few steps away, the eight years-old closed his eyes. He heard the footsteps stop, followed by ruffling and a short grunt. Vinnie felt Donnie tense.

“Are you happy with yourself ?! Are you proud of what you did ?!”

Vinnie dared opening his eyes and almost gasped. Papà had grabbed Enzie by the collar.

“Because of you, I lost my wife ! I lost my home ! I might even lose my job ! All because YOU decided to get involved in MY business !”

“All I did was trying to survive !”, Enzie replied, returning papà’s glare. “I’ll never apologize for that.”

“YOU RUINED MY LIFE !”

“YOU RUINED YOUR OWN LIFE !”, Enzie pushed papà away from him. The older man raised a fist but didn’t hit his son. Instead, he looked as the younger trio protectively put their hands on Enzie.

“Go.”, Bettie spoke up with a shaking voice. “Leave us alone.”

“…”, papà’s glare was now directed at the four of them. “You are all nothing but a bunch of ungrateful bastards.”, he growled.

“What should we be grateful for ?”, Vinnie surprised himself by deciding to speak. He knew he shouldn’t. Papà was dangerous, he could clearly see it right now. Enzie had been right about that, just like for anything else. And Enzie had told him never to talk to papà again.

And yet, the child couldn’t stop the words from flowing out of his mouth.

“Have you ever done anything to us ?! Have you ever cared for us ?! DO YOU EVEN LOVE US ?!”

Vinnie felt tears stream down his cheeks. He started sobbing.

“Vinnie…”, Donnie murmured. The ten years-old held his younger sibling. “shhh. It’s okay.”, he soothed. “It’s okay to cry.”, Donnie let a hand gently run into Vinnie’s hair, copying the way their oldest brother comforted them. The youngest sibling leaned into the embrace, crying into Donnie’s shirt. When he tried opening his eyes, he noticed that papà was looking away, seemingly more upset than angry after what his son said.

Enzie was the one to break the silence.

“You’re dead to us.”, he spat. “Don’t ever try to see us again, or they’ll be consequences. And if you don’t keep paying for support, I’ll sue for the child neglect.”, he threatened. “If you think your life is already ruined, you’re not ready for the hell I’m ready to put you through if you ever DARE try anything against us.”

The two men glared at each other for what felt like forever. Enzie’s last words kept replaying in Vinnie’s head. He wondered with dread how serious his older brother was, how far he was willing to go for them.

Finally, after a painfully long silence, papà started to back away. He walked a certain distance, glared at his chil- at them one last time, and turned away.

Enzie snorted. “Come on.”, he told his siblings. “Let’s go home. We have a lot to do if we want to leave.”

The oldest brother started to walk away, soon followed by his sister. Donnie and Vinnie looked at each other as they pulled away from their hug, before finally following the older duo.

As he followed the group, Vinnie couldn’t help but look around him, look back at the older man.

From afar, the eight years-old noticed mamma. She was looking at the man as well.

Despite everything that had happened, she was smiling.

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Note : Regarding Vinnie being trans, I’m well-aware that someone doesn’t “become” a boy, they’ve always been one. But since Vinnie is 5 when he realizes that he’s a man, the characters simplify it to “becoming a boy” so that Vinnie can understand easily.

Italian translations :

Mamma : mom

Papà : dad

Piccolina : little one (female)

Polpetto : meatball (apparently it’s a nickname for young kids/siblings)

Patatino : little potato (for some reason I love this nickname)

Ometto : little man (ometti is plural)

Piccino : tiny one

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