#newspaper lmaooo i love that

[phoxphenex]

i literally love ur texts... its like when people read a newspaper and they have their favourite section of it. im j like a dad in the morning scrolling through tumblr and seeing ur posts lmao! esp jisung ones lmaooo i also love ten and doyoung ones. sending love! 💕💗💖 hope you're faring well 🥰

i wish i could pin more than one post this is literally aaaaaaa i really needed this today you don’t understand 🥹 thank you sosososoososo much my love please have a good day or night okay? i’ll keep the texts coming! 💗💕

[thirium]

DETROIT: BECOME HUMAN — CONNOR

[itsnotgoingtotranslate]

yes

[wordsarelife]

—endgame

pairing: mattheo riddle x fem!reader

summary: mattheo is absolutely in love with you, but now it seems like he spent a bit too long not telling you that

warnings: cursing, suggestive language

notes: guys this was not supposed to be posted lmaooo!! but i‘ll just leave it here, now that it’s too late anyway 😭

the slytherin boys were lazily slumped over the couches in the common room, casually chattering as the fire burned in front of them.

"and then she asked me to show her how to fly sometime" enzo shrugged as he finished his explanation "i mean she was there when we learned that in first year, so i'm not sure why i would have to show her"

"you oblivious little idiot" blaise slapped a pillow against enzo's head, who let out a whimper at the sudden hit.

"she was flirting with you" draco exclaimed with a roll of his eyes and without even looking up from the newspaper he was reading.

"oh" enzo said dumbfounded.

"she knows that you're crazy about quidditch" theo added.

"yeah" mattheo agreed "she probably wanted to flatter you, telling you how good you are at flying and you didn't even understand that"

"oh" enzo mumbled once again and the regret in his voice made his friends perk up.

draco let the newspaper rest in his lap. "what did you answer?" he asked, quirking a brow.

"the exact same thing i just told you guys" enzo admitted shamefully, which was accompanied by blaise and mattheo loudly groaning.

"you really are an oblivious idiot" draco shook his head in a disappointed manner, before going back to his newspaper.

before enzo could say anything else to defend himself, there were giggles coming from the stairs. blaise and mattheo looked behind the couch simultaneously.

"speaking of oblivious" blaise snorted, before he earned himself a slap from mattheo and a simple hand gesture that told him to get off the couch and find another place to plant his arse.

blaise was barely on his feet, emptying the spot next to mattheo, when pansy and you stepped into the common room.

"hey guys" pansy greeted before she let herself fall in between draco and enzo, half onto draco's lap, which the former only grunted at.

you smiled your usual smile, waving at you friends, before you walked around the couch on which mattheo was sitting. you held up the book you were carrying to him and mattheo immediately got into position.

he turned his body, so that his legs were now resting on the couch before him. he opened them up so you could slip between them, laying your head onto his tummy, as you opened your book and got comfortable.

mattheo softly started moving his fingers through your hair. theo, on the armchair on the left of both of you, raised his eyebrows. even draco lowered his newspaper for a second, to inspect your cuddly position.

"so, y/n" theo said "why don't you tell us something about your date with that seventh year ravenclaw?"

now it was mattheo's turn to furrow his brows. theo looked perfectly innocent, but mattheo recognized a hint of mischief in his blue eyes. blaise giggled into his fist like he had just witnissed the biggest burn and enzo looked between both theo and mattheo, wondering if the former was even allowed to ask such a question.

"oh" you smiled awkwardly, as you let your book sink onto your chest. "you mean leslie?"

theo nodded and watched mattheo's expression closely, who's face was full of disdain.

"go on" pansy smiled "you can tell them" she started giggling and you joined her laughter.

it was like a switch had been flipped as both you and pansy recalled the day a week before. you did not leave out one detail, from how the boy had asked you out to how the actual date went.

mattheo was not happy to hear what you had to say (or how pansy couldn't stop mentioning how handsome and attractive leslie was), but he had to admit that it was kind of funny to see theo's face fall more from minute to minute and how much regret was evident on it when you ended the story after half an hour.

it seemed like the only person who enjoyed listening was enzo, who spend most of his time asking about certain things you had said and if you had meant them in a flirting or normal way. mattheo had to admit to himself that it was probably his and the rest of the boys' fault that enzo outstretched the story with his unnecessary questions. it seemed like he wanted to make sure that nothing what happened the day before would repeat itself.

"was that everything you wanted to know?" you asked theo, admittedly a bit amused, as you noticed the panicked look on his face and the quick nod he was giving you.

"why didn't you tell me you had a date?" mattheo asked you and you almost broke your neck as you tried to look at him without sitting up.

"sorry, i didn't think it was that important" you shrugged "and i never thought that you wanted to hear anything about it, but now that i know that you guys are interested in that kind of conversation, we can speak about stuff like that more often"

it was only after pansy and you had excused yourself to go to bed, that there was a debrief happening in mattheo's and theo's room.

mattheo was walking from side to side, as the earlier events replayed themselves in his head.

"pansy and y/n are yappers" blaise noted matter of factly "and now you've actually gotten them to yap even more"

"thank you, theo" draco added sarcastically, while theo just shrugged his shoulders.

"i didn't know it would spiral into that" he excused "i was just trying to get someone to get off of his arse and talk to a certain someone, considering something between the two of them"

"it doesn't help anyone if you're talking in riddles" enzo rolled his eyes, before he got ellbowed by blaise, who pointed at the still walking mattheo. "oh" enzo nodded "you're talking about mattheo and—"

"what kind of name is leslie anyway?" mattheo cried, succesfully shutting enzo up.

"i mean have you seen the guy?" blaise laughed "his name should be the least of your concerns"

"thank you, blaise" mattheo nodded, spotting a sarcastic smile "very helpful actually"

"listen, mate" theo said and all eyes turned to him "i'm not saying you should just be happy about what's happened, but it's a bit your own fault"

"my own fault?" mattheo repeated stunned.

"he's not wrong" draco shrugged "if you had the balls to go and speak to y/n, we wouldn't even be talking about a guy who obviously has a girl's name"

"i mean i get alex, but what is unisex about leslie?" enzo looked between his friends, who all shrugged.

"can we stop mentioning his fucking name, please" mattheo threw up his hands helplessly.

"well, would you rather like to talk about his huge—"

"blaise!" both mattheo and theo called loudly.

blaise raised his arms, spotting a face of innocence "geez, chill i was talking about his arms. i mean the guy is jacked"

"yeah, we get the picture" mattheo rolled his eyes, before he changed the tone of his voice, trying to imitate pansy and you from earlier "he's so good looking and funny and—"

"he's read almost every book y/n has" enzo added and all of the boys looked at him.

"whose side are you on?" theo asked tiredly, rubbing his face and realizing in that second that he was not going to sleep any time soon.

"sorry, pansy's words, not mine"

"okay, well" mattheo exclaimed, his anger subsiding momentarily "what if i'm not that handsome or well-read? i always listen to her talk about her latest book, and i don't just act like i want to hear it, i really do and i could be such a better boyfriend than this lola guy"

"leslie" blaise corrected and immediately received a dirty look from mattheo.

"look, mate" draco interrupted the staring contest between blaise and mattheo. "whatever it is that has been going on between you and y/n, we've all had the pleasure to observe it this past few years. so i'm sure we're all are at a point now where we are just fucking tired. i'm begging you, just do something about this please" draco was more emotional than he had been in years and all his friends were surprised at the sudden concern for mattheo's and y/n's love life "for the love of god, i cannot bear to try and extend any friendly behaviour further than this group, so it would be kind of unfortunate for y/n's boyfriend if he isn't already part of it"

"well, aren't you just a ball of sunshine?" theo rolled his eyes.

"it's not easy being nice to all of you" draco send a side-eye in enzo's direction "even harder with certain people"

"hey!" enzo losely protested.

"i don't really care who she dates at this point" draco added "hell, let's give her blaise, at least he's not too restrained to actually do something"

"i'm not restrained" mattheo said with distain evident in his voice.

blaise smiled smugly, completely ignoring his friend. "i would show y/n a good time"

"what the fuck?!" mattheo turned to blaise with a look of betrayal "i'd rather have lucy--"

"leslie"

"--have her before you do" mattheo finished.

"this is really not the point now is it?" enzo asked, with a helpless look in theo's direction.

"enzo's right, as weird as that sounds" theo nodded "you have to do something and you have to do it fast, before she's losing the least bit of liking she seemingly has for you"

"i really have to thank you guys for your deep and honest trust in me and my abilities"

"well you've practically spend the last six years simping for her, so excuse us if we're not quite seeing the end of that yet" draco snorted.

"yeah, fine, whatever" mattheo rolled his eyes "even though all of you were wrong in many things, you're right about y/n, i'll tell her first thing tomorrow"

"tell her what exactly?"

"ehh, that i'm in love with her" mattheo said as if it was obvious.

"a bit rushed isn't it?" enzo asked, exchanging a look with draco, who seemed just as critical.

"what?" mattheo asked helplessly "wasn't that what you all wanted? i mean lilly certainly didn't waste any time"

"leslie" blaise corrected once again "asked her out on a date first. maybe you could really learn something from him. i hear he's quite smart"

"are you gay?" draco suddenly asked and enzo snorted.

"i'm a realist" blaise answered "i like to scout out the competition, see what they've got on me"

"okay, sure, then i'll ask her on a date and tell her that i love her then. is that alright with you?"

"you should at least wait two to three months" draco advised.

"maybe four" enzo added.

"oh, heaven, i'm going to sleep" theo turned around and climbed into his bed.

the next morning, the slytherin boys were sitting in their usual spots at the slytherin table. there had been no sighting of either pansy or you yet, so mattheo had decided to ask you on a date during breakfast.

"what do you think is taking them so long?" he asked draco, while keeping a close eye to the entryway of the great hall.

draco, who was only a second away from answering, was quickly interrupted, when he got nudged by theo, who pointed at something - or rather someone - at the ravenclaw table.

"what?" mattheo turned his head, after draco had not answered and his friends seemed to have noticed something.

"they're already here" draco said softly, before both of his hands, landed on mattheo's shoulders, turning the boy's body in the right direction.

mattheo's eyes found you quickly. you were sitting next to an unfamiliar boy, pansy across from the both of you. you were engaged in a seemingly friendly conversation, throwing your head back laughing from time to time.

"lydia" mattheo said between clenched teeth his voice close to a growl.

"leslie" blaise corrected, matching the sound and tone of mattheo's voice.

mattheo stood up abruptly and all eyes followed him. "i'm gonna do something about this" he declared, before he started walking into the direction of the ravenclaw table.

"i think he could need some backup" blaise shrugged his shoulders, running after the boy, before one of the others could protest.

"hey" mattheo greeted when he arrived at the table. pansy furrowed her brows, but you smiled when your eyes fell on him, not noticing the angry tone in his voice.

"hey" leslie smiled. "mattheo, is it?"

"sure" mattheo sat down on the bench next to pansy without so much as another word.

"so, luna" mattheo began.

"ehh, my name is leslie actually" the older boy corrected.

"whatever" mattheo rolled his eyes "nobody cares about that"

"i do" blaise quickly corrected, coming to a halt behind mattheo and outstretching his hand in leslie's direction "blaise zabini, big fan. what kind of book would you recommend to get girls?"

"i'm not sure i understand that question" leslie looked to you in confusion, but you just shook your head. "but, uh many girls like pride and prejudice by jane austen"

"ignore him" mattheo advised "you seem like you have everything in order, so i think it's the right time to ask what your intentions with y/n are"

"excuse me?" leslie asked stunned, while pansy snorted loudly. blaise nodded approvingly and you had your mouth and eyes wide open, not believing what you had just heard.

"well, young man" mattheo patted leslie's shoulder "we've all been your age once, so i don't think the question is too farfetched"

"i'm actually older than you" the ravenclaw looked to you helpingly "sorry, is he your brother or something?"

various different answers of no echoed around the table, followed by disgusted noises as pansy, mattheo, blaise and you answered the question at the same time.

"then why are you even asking that question?"

"well, lane" mattheo started, before he quickly added (successfully preventing someone to correct him) "y/n doesn't have a brother and her father is not here right now, so someone has to look out for her, right?"

"pretty sexist" pansy remarked "these aren't the 1800's, riddle"

mattheo shot pansy a quick glare before refocusing on leslie, determined to make his point. "look, i'm just trying to make sure you're treating her right," he stated, with an edge of jealousy in his voice.

leslie glanced at you, clearly bewildered. "i promise, y/n and i are just friends. we were talking about our shared interest in ancient runes."

"sure, just friends" blaise mumbled so only mattheo could hear.

"shared interest, huh?" mattheo leaned back, trying to appear nonchalant but failing miserably. "is that what you call it these days?"

you couldn't help but giggle at the absurdity of the situation. "mattheo, relax. leslie's just being friendly."

blaise, sensing the awkward tension, decided to stir the pot a bit more. "yeah, mattheo, maybe you should take some lessons from leslie on how to charm a girl with ancient runes. it's clearly working."

mattheo shot blaise a look that could melt steel. "blaise, could you stop being helpful for once?"

blaise, feigning innocence, raised his arms.

mattheo, deciding he had seen enough, concluded it was time to pull out the big guns. "so have you kissed yet? because i have done that. kissed y/n i mean, not kissed someone in general"

"matty!" you scolded, feeling embarassed by his behaviour.

"no, we haven't actually" leslie shook his head, uncomfortably looking between the people around him.

"well, we've done a lot of things" mattheo continued, easily slipping back into the familiar cockiness he normally wore with pride, even if you had hit his leg under the table more than a few times already. "you should ask her about her first time" he muttered, winking at the older boy.

pansy, who had been drinking, accidentally spit some of her pumpkin juice on her plate and blaise's mouth was wide open.

"mattheo" you shrieked, quickly stubbling onto your feet "could i talk to you for a second? alone"

"whatever you want, love" mattheo winked at leslie once again, before he followed you out of the hall.

"so about ancient runes"

outside of the great hall, mattheo was standing across from you, head down, while you were ripping him a new one.

"what has gotten into you, matty?" you asked when you had finished screaming at him.

"i'm sorry" mattheo said truthfully "i had this great plan of asking you out this morning, but seeing you with him made me so jealous and realize that it's probably too late anyway, but it's my own fault."

"what are you even talking about?" you asked confused.

"i mean you're obviously going on a second date, right?" mattheo asked "you very clearly said how charming and handsome and smart he was"

"that's true, he is all of those things"

"cool" mattheo nodded and you swore you could see a hint of sadness in his eyes "i'm happy for you then"

"yeah seems like it" you giggled, before you shook your head "well, matty you knows, leslie is amazing--"

"i've never heard anyone been complimented so much than i have heard him in the last twenty hours"

"let me finish" you smiled "he's really great, but i'm not interested in him like that"

"you're not?"

you shook your head "i think we could become good friends, but nothing more"

"but why were you sitting with him then?"

"well, he had a book he wanted to lend me" you shrugged "and i was actually on my way back to our table when you interrupted"

"oh"

"yeah, oh" you smiled "if i had known you would take all of this so harshly, i would've told you about me telling leslie i'm not interested yesterday"

"okay, that's embarrassing" mattheo admitted "i should've spoken to you in private, before i made such a scene"

"yeah, you should have" you nodded. "so, are you going to ask me out?"

mattheo grinned at you, before he grabbed your hip, pulling you closer with one fast gesture, connecting your lips.

you pulled him close by the hem of his shirt. your fingers curling into the fabric as you deepened the kiss. his hand slid from your hip to the small of your back, pressing you firmly against him. The world around you seemed to blur, the only thing that mattered was the feeling of his lips on yours, the warmth of his body against yours.

his other hand moved up to cradle your face, his thumb brushing gently across your cheek. the kiss was both passionate and tender, a perfect blend of his usual confidence and a softer side he reserved just for you. you could feel the intensity of his feelings, the months—years, even—of pent-up emotions pouring out in this single, breathtaking moment.

your heart pounded in your chest, and you could feel his racing too. it was as if all the teasing, all the uncertainty, had culminated in this moment. his lips were soft yet demanding, and you responded eagerly, your fingers now moving to tangle in his hair.

you both were breathless when you broke the kiss, heavy breathing quickly turning into laughing about how both of you had acted like idiots.

"we should get pansy and blaise and return to the others, right?" you asked and mattheo nodded eagerly.

"but you'll go out with me, yeah?"

"i think we're already past that" you joked, hinting at the years of longing gazes and physical affection between the both of you. "but sure"

you walked back into the hall holding hands, while blaise and pansy were already waiting for you.

"what happened to layla?" mattheo asked, trying to catch sight of the boy on the ravenclaw table.

"leslie—"

"—left, after blaise had gone a bit too far, asking for flirting advice"

"oh god" you hid your face in your hand "i can take you guys nowhere"

"well, you've got enough friends already, haven't you?" mattheo nudged your shoulder, as pansy's eyes fell on your connected hands.

"took you long enough" she smiled, before all of you walked into the direction of the slytherin table.

as you approached, the group noticed your intertwined hands. draco, theo, and enzo exchanged knowing glances.

"finally," theo remarked, leaning back in his seat. "i was starting to think you'd never figure it out“

draco smirked, lowering his newspaper. "i suppose this means i don’t have to pretend to be friendly to more people than absolutely necessary now"

"i think we're all just relieved we don’t have to hear more about leslie and his 'charms'" enzo grinned.

"speaking of which," draco said, looking at you and mattheo, "how did that go?"

"oh, you know“ you replied with a smirk "mattheo decided to mark his territory in the most subtle way possible“

"well, at least he's more direct than other people" theo almost giggled "i just have to imagine enzo recalling and telling holly anything he could remember from our flying classes"

"i'm sorry that i genuinely thought she wanted to know that"

"when these two can get it together, you'll get there too some day" pansy nudged enzo's shoulder and the boy send her a grateful smile.

"who needs enemies when you have friends like this" mattheo laughed with a roll of his eyes.

blaise chuckled, leaning back in his chair. " hey, at least we keep each other entertained"

enzo grinned, shooting a playful glare at blaise. "yeah, and who else would i have to embarrass myself in front of if not for you lot?"

draco raised an eyebrow at that "well, enzo, it's a good thing you have us to keep you humble“

theo nodded, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "exactly. otherwise, you might start thinking you're actually good at flying"

"now this is just unfair, you're telling me she was not only flirting, but lying too?" enzo exclaimed frustrated.

"you can't always have everything" blaise shrugged, taking a look at the vacant spot leslie had left at the ravenclaw table "at least that way there are still girls left for the rest of us"

"you do realize that y/n is not really left anymore, right?" theo ellbowed the other boy.

"well, y/n" blaise smirked "i'm sure mattheo has never even seen a copy of jane austens pride and prejudice, but guess who read it, you're right this lovely—"

"oh hell no" mattheo quickly shook his head, as he clasped a hand over blaise's mouth. "don't you even start, bethany"

[jayden-killer]

can you write realistic miguel x a civilian male! reader? like how would he react when other spider people find out that he's with a guy? would he deny and try to avoid his boyfriend in front of people? what would be his thought process dating another man? how do you think they'd end up together? (I have a lot of questions haha)

It's my first time writing a male!reader and I'm scared I messed up the request😩😭I still hope you will like it, I realllyyy tried my best!🙏

Reminder that requests are open at the top of my profile!

Miguel with a civilian male!reader.

•You and Miguel both met when he worked at Alchemax. You were both colleagues. Of course, you didn't know he was Spider-man at all, you discovered it by yourself: his strange disappearing, his not-so-normal behaviour...

•And that's why one night, in a bar, sharing a beer, you said all drunk: "I know you're Spider-man, Miguel." He paused, then widened his eyes and laughed. Taking a big sip of his beer, he said: "Now you gotta keep the secret, huh?"

•But that's not the only secret you two shared. Two more beers and then you found yourself kissing in the bathroom of the bar, Miguel's hands on your waist and tongue down your throat. So, you discovered you weren't just colleagues lmaooo.

•Dates went well, incredibly well. Miguel was happy for once: he finally had to be happy, and he wasn't going to ruin another good thing in his life. He wasn't even going to hide his relationship with you. Hell, why would he?!

•He doesn't have problems dating another man. Gender laws to him are not a problem. If a person makes him happy and likes him for what he is, then he'll fall, slowly but hard.

•Miguel proudly has a photo with you in his lab, in the Spider-Society HQ. There's you, hugging him from behind, while he has his hands on yours, making you jump on his back, all happy. Whenever a Spider enters his lab, and notices the photo, he wouldn't care. Nope. Who cares what the Spiders think of him? He's happy, and that's okay with it.

•if there are any homophobic Spiders in the Society, he's going to take care of it personally. Spoiler: it won't go too well.

•He enjoys cuddling and holding hands BUT only in private. He has a high reputation, and doesn't want to be seen as cuddly and vulnerable by all the members of the Society. Though, doesn't mean he won't spoil you etc.

•He loves cooking for you, doing your laundry, and cleaning because I think his love language is acts of service.

•But, if you leave a kiss anywhere on his face In public, he'll go R E D.

"Conejito, tengo algo por ti."

Your eyes moved from the newspapers to Miguel's soft smile. What could it be? Wait...why he has his hands behind his back?

He removed his hands from his back to show a bouquet of colourful flowers, and that's when you found yourself by him, taking the gift and sniffing it. It smelled like heaven.

"What...? W-Why this? It's not our anniversary, is it?!" You panicked a bit. He chuckled, shaking his head and taking one of your hands. "No que no lo es, amor. I only wanted to make you a little gift." To Miguel, your smile was enough to be the most beautiful gift ever given.

He placed a kiss on your lips, titling his head so you could intensify it. You thought about how Miguel changed these months with you: he looked happier, healthier...

"You’re the best, Miguel."

"Because you bring out the best of me."

[keepyourpantsongohan]

Ayesha Liveblogs Spy x Family S1

"Proof that the foreign minister wears a toupée. I even have the negatives." "Well done. Now we can force him to resign." How could this possibly be enough to force a resignation? Is wearing a toupée a sign of dishonesty or shame in this cultural context??

"In an era in which the nations of the world were waging a fierce war of information just out of sight, this man survived the battlefield by being a master of disguise." Ooooh is this a historical anime? How fun!

Update from 1 minute later: The newspaper confirms this as a Cold War-era story!! Colour me intrigued

"Farewell. May you find happiness." What a polite end to such a callous breakup LMAO

Why does Donovan Desmond look so incredibly haunted LOL

"In order to achieve this [spy mission] you will get married and have a child." Ah, there we are with the premise!

Of all the spy strengths they've displayed thus far, I am most impressed with this blond man's ability to pull a newspaper apart without bending it. You must need to generate a lot of force:

"Yeah, sure. Take whichever one you want." This is about the average regard for orphans in Shonen Anime Societies

"This little girl happened to be a telepath." She's a WHAT NOW? What a casual way to introduce this fact

Honestly the random facts about what Anya likes and the bursting into tears with unclear motivation seems very much a realistic parent and child experience

"I just don't understand this irrational behaviour." I love how quickly Loid Forger aka Twilight, International Spy, has been foiled by this tiny, psychic child

Loid is approaching parenthood very casually so far. Surely a spy (pretending to be a psychologist, even) can recognize the psychological impact of abandonment on a child

Fjlkjfljflf what kind of society allows Loid to barricade his six (or maybe four) year-old child inside their apartment unsupervised all day LMAOOO

SCREAM not Anya immediately revealing their location from playing spy games. Also a very realistic problem to have

"Boss, I think we should just give up on the toupée." [Pulls out a gun and shoots him] "Transparency is essential in government. Toupées are a no-go." WHY ON EARTH ARE TOUPÉES THE ULTIMATE SPY PLOT DEVICE JFKJFJF

Love that the betrayal of the nation is SECOND to the toupée. They said: Wigs are for liars and cowards

"No one reached out their hand to save me. I felt alone, in despair, and so powerless all I could do was cry." We have unlocked Loid's parental instincts AND his tragic backstory in the span of 1 and a half minutes

"I'm a failure as a spy? No. My mistake was putting that little girl in danger to begin with. How could I forget? To create a world where children won't have to cry... That's why I became a spy." Alright Loid, colour me charmed:

Ahhhhhh I love Loid giving his enemy the chance to go back to his daughter instead of attacking him

Loid deciding to take Anya back with him despite all his misgivings bc he wants to give her a home 🥺💘 HE'S NICE

"Papa is a huge liar. But he's such a cool liar." Awww, Anya

I can see how being psychic and being able to hear every single child's confusion during a test would be distracting

"I... relaxed? What the hell is going on with me?" FATHERHOOD

"It is mandatory that the applicant attend with both parents. Absolutely no exceptions." For a society with such a cavalier approach to violence and orphans (at least where Loid goes), you'd think they'd be more accepting of single parents

Everyone's absolutely on Yor's ass for being a single 27-year-old. [Yor as Charlotte Lucas voice] I'm 27 years old. I have no money and no prospects. I'm already a burden to my brother—

"I have a client for you, Thorn Princess." Is Thorn Princess Yor's sleeper agent activation phrase? Her whole face darkened

Clearly Yor doesn't have the same violence-aversion as Loid:

Yor ready to fall in love with anyone who's nice to her. Mgkjgkg but same perhaps

"A spy...An assassin...? I'm... so excited!" [Narrator voiceover] "The little girl was straving for entertainment." The narrator's interjections are very funny

HAHAHAHA I love that they're both trying to fake date each other for very different reasons. Incredible, 10/10, love this

It's fun that Franky, spy gadget guy, is also now mission back-up

Also I take back everything I said about Loid's violence aversion

"I'll be sure to tell your brother that you came alone." Why is every woman that Yor works with (and, it seems, every woman with more than one line in this show thus far) seem to be so mean-spirited LOL

HFHLKHGLHGLGH Loid showing up to the party covered in blood and introducing himself as her husband when she needed a boyfriend. We love a spy who is terrible at his job

Loid managing to somehow make a really amazing impression on this party by being hot and defending Yor's past as a masseuse (murderer). GOOD FOR HIM

"The concussive recovery method is the latest in modern medical practices." Imagine going to your doctor for a prescription and having them kickbox you into submission LMAO

"Um, Loid-san, this may not be the best moment to ask, but why don't we get married?" SCREAMING AT YOR BEING THE ONE TO PROPOSE AND HOW KNOCKS THE WIND OUT OF LOID:

"No matter what hardships await us, let us be there for one another." [Explosions go off in the background] Colour me sold on this grenade-pin ring and spy-assassin romance

I love that they're going on a little family outing to prep for their interview

I can also understand how a political rally would be stressful for Anya

"I've completed countless missions, yet once again I find myself losing heart." Loid will eventually get used to his girls who are obssessed with nuts and knives 💞

All of them calling attention to themselves by helping an old lady deal with a purse snatcher ❣️ I love this family. I've only had the Forgers for two episodes but if anything happened to them I would [redact] everyone in this room and then myself

"I guess... receiving thanks every once in a while wouldn't hurt." "Papa is a softie." YEAH HE IS

"Papa and Mama are flirting." "No we are not!" HEE HEE

"Anya, are you going to be okay in this crowd?" Dad Mode Activated

Ohhhhhhh Anya helping the cow through her fear. Baby!!!!

OHGHGLGHLKGH setting aside how they managed to have at least three outfits in that suitcase, I really want to know how the quick change is happening in the middle of this cobblestone pathway to the school

"Why are you getting irritated, Loid? She's not even your real wife." I love that whenever someone makes an out-of-pocket insult to Yor (her coworker calling her a whore, this dorm master critiquing her lack of cooking) Loid jumps in and he's like, HEY, THAT'S MY WIFE

"My Papa and Mama are both so much fun, and I love them very much. I want to be with them forever." I also want this family to stay together forever, Anya 💗

Both Yor and Loid ready to fight this jerk for making their daughter cry!! I love them

The hope that Loid has because of his new family. This is really fulfilling a deepseated psychological need that I had to watch an anime that's just about a nice man

"He might just be the best spy in Westalis, so don't worry too much." With all due respect, that doesn't say much for the other spies, considering how suspiciously Loid acts everywhere he goes

Yor genuinely considering murdering someone to get her daughter into school 💝 Parenting!

"I appreciate the attempt at consolation, my elegant boy." This is how I will be responding to all attempts for someone to comfort me from now on

Loid just carrying a party popper around in his pocket for when Anya gets in. I LOVE HEEEM

Loid can waste government resources on a little play mission for his family. As a treat

"He's requesting agents. As many as possible," incredible how Loid immediately folds to his daughter's request to be attacked by enemies LMAOOO

HAHAHAHA Loid telling them in morse code it's an imperative part of Operation Strix, which is technically true, but not at all for any reason they would think

The way they're all like, "I will JUMP at the chance to attack Loid, been waiting my whole life for this," is also really fun

I was waiting for the spy costume. I am so glad it is a plot point

I can't decide what I enjoy more, Loid's blush over having to put on the costume mask, or the way the other spies are fangirling over him

Loid getting his butt kicked by Yor in this drunk roleplay does make me wonder if we're going to see that her assassination missions run contrary to his goals of peacekeeping

"I've come to save you, Princess Anya." "Papa!" "Wait, I'm supposed to be your dad in this?" AWWWW ANYA JUST WANTED TO HER DAD TO ACT OUT SAVING HER

In fairness to Anya's fear of kidnapping, she has been kidnapped before!

"Though, you're usually on the ball, so [discussing Operation Strix Phase 2] may not be necessary." "Well... I may actually be off my game lately." At least Loid's willing to own up to it LMAOOO

Firstly, what happened just now was definitely an attempted [redacted] crime, which is hideously uncalled for, what the fuck. But secondly: I love Yor and Anya bonding time

"I know it's really dangerous to be an Eden student now. But it won't be as scary if I train. I can do my best at school without dying!" I do love the idea of teaching this tiny child fighting techniques, but my god, what a thing to say

"Even if I can't be like a normal mother, I'm going to do everything I can for her." YOOOOOOOOOOOOR I love you

"She's already realized how amazing I am and fallen for me." Incredible confidence from Damian Desmond, Very Rich Six-Year-Old LMAO

"Mama, you liar. Smiling didn't help at all." I am very entertained by Anya's psychic child conflict management

Ffjhfkhfk I really do love the way that Anya tries her best to do things in a way that her parents would most approve of. Smiling first, trying to not get in trouble in front of the teacher when she punches Damian, claiming defence of a friend. She's a good kid!

What will Loid, who is not actually a psychologist, be doing during the day while Anya goes to school and his wife does her work. I hope it involves costumes

Update from 1 minute later: At the very least, it involves stalking elementary students from a rooftop

Update from 4 minutes later: IT DID INVOLVE COSTUMES!

Also. Also. How the hell would Loid's plan work if his daughter was NOT psychic. Like yeah yeah yeah, she knows she's supposed to be a good student. But it doesn't seem like he's explicitly told her out loud to be friends with Damian. So is he just hoping for her organic success? It's a good thing his baby knows exactly what he's thinking LMAO

I love that Becky has decided to be Anya's no. 1 supporter. She needs a friend!!

"Why do I find it so hard to speak when she's in front of me?" In a very expected turn of events, lil Damian has a crush:

"Plan B is done for." You are wrong Loid! Plan Befriend has simply turned to Plan Boy Has a Crush on Your Daughter

This at-home tutoring really resonates with my experience of being the child of Asian parents with high expectations when it comes to their children's innate talent for math

"No, Yor. You're not a stranger, nor part of someone else's family. Right now, you're the mother of the Forgers. I'm counting on you to provide whatever I'm lacking." AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I love the Forgers

I loveeee this parenting discussion around positive reinforcement

"I wonder what it'd feel like to have a real family," said Loid, tits deep in a family and fatherhood

"My sister got married?" I was waiting for this ball to drop. Can't wait!

NOT BABY BROTHER YURI BEING EMPLOYED BY THE TORTURE DEPARTMENT OF THE GOVERNMENT OMG

"[Twilight] is the villain who is trying to make this world fall into chaos. You could call him my natural enemy." NOT BABY BROTHER YURI ANNOUNCING HIS INTENTIONS TO MERC HIS BROTHER-IN-LAW WHO HE'S ABOUT TO MEET AT DINNER:

I gotta say, despite them introing with assassinations, I do feel like Yuri represents a drastic tone shift for this show

"Yuri... I mean, my younger brother is coming here today! [Loid's voice raises several octaves] "Today?" The voice crack was funny. Back to family shenanigans

As a sister. I AM SICK OF THE SISTER COMPLEX JOKES. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, BABY BROTHER YURI, ANIME AS A GENRE, AND WHATEVER JAPANESE SOCIETAL NORM THAT ALLOWS THIS TO BE A CONSTANT IN SO MANY DIFFERENT STORIES?

"What could my sister possibly like about this guy?! Just because he can cook a little, and he's handsome, and tall, and considerate, and a doctor," It sounds like Yuri is talking himself into having a crush on Loid????

Wow, Loid has made Yuri as an intelligence agent within like, mere minutes of meeting him. Maybe Loid is a great spy!

Ahhhh, so the reason Yor took up killing as a job was to put her little brother through school. How honourable!

"Kiss here and now." I can't decide if this is terrible or fun. Maybe both. My money is on Anya interrupting to see her Uncle

I do appreciate that Yor has never been kissed! It makes sense, given her murder job, and I feel like we don't often get 20somethings without prior entanglements

HDJHDKJDHDHD this is so unhinged and weird. Jesus. Yuri Briar puts the B in Behnchod

"Loid Forger. You may lay claim to my sister's lips for now." WHAT A THING TO SAY

"So, let's do everything we can to make sure Yor is happy." Loid is THE Husband. There are no other husbands, just him!

"Children are so curiously observant at times," said Loid, about his daughter who is literally telepathic

"It's a terrible idea to date a woman while deceiving her," said Loid, as if that has not been the premise of his ENTIRE romantic history thus far

I think Loid is starting to develop (romantic) feelings:

You know, I haven't really commented on the horn cap thing, but I do wonder if they are to do with Anya's powers rather than just a fun little design thing

I need you to see what I'm looking at when they tell me this is Bill Watkins, Age Six:

I do like all the montages of how all of these children (and Bill Watkins, Deeply Suspicious Age Six) were preparing for this dodgeball tournament

SCREAM THE CUT TO THE DRAGON BALL Z NAMEK BACKGROUND

Damian taking the dodgeball bullet for Anya. Love u little guy

Calling it right now, with all this lead-up, I don't think Anya's throw is going to work out the way she wants

Update from a few seconds later: Yep, that was correct!

Gnjghkgjhgkjhg Loid loves Anya too much to be strict with her so he is engaging in quite a permissive parenting style

ANYA TRYING TO SAVE THE LITTLE BOY FROM DROWNING WHEN SHE'S JUST A LITTLE GIRL HERSELF. SWEETEST BABY ALIVE

DAD'S HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ANYA EARNING HER FIRST STELLA! YEAH BABYGIRL

I like how they do a count of her Stellas (merit points which lead to the Imperial Scholar Society of Parent War Instigation) and Tonitrus Bolts (demerit points which lead to expulsion) whenever Anya gets closer to her goal

Also, bonkers that getting a Stella doesn't cancel out your Bolt? It's like, forgive, but never forget

Fhkhfkjfhfkjh Anya deciding she'll only respond to Starlight Anya. Very Six-Year-Old Behaviour

"Do you really think we go to some third-rate school that would hand out a Stella by mistake?" Damian continuing his chivalry streak

1) Extremely rude of the people to treat the dogs that way and 2) Does that big white dog's flash to the Forger family mean that we have unlocked a psychic puppy subplot?

I have been thinking since Damian was introduced that he and Anya are paralleling the Syaroan and Sakura Archetypes, but there is no greater Cardcaptor Sakura parallel than the fact this episode is called Penguin Park

"Please wait, Papa, who is a good and normal person." 10/10 spy deception Anya, no notes

Gghkhgkghkg Loid being yelled at by his Spy Juice Lady for not prioritizing this other mission. How does no one overhear this!!

"Mama, I'm being kidnapped," said Anya, as if she did not latch onto this spy herself to help out her dad's Penguin Mission

It's incredible how many of Loid's problems are solved just by him being hot:

Awwwwww I'm glad they did some actual family time after the Aquarium mission. Also I love how embarrassed Loid is every time has to do something silly, like pretending to be a Penguin Plushy for his kid, but how he'll immediately do it, even in public. Best dad!!

"Being both a Papa and an agent... must be tough balancing the two." Real and true, spy chauffeur

I love how they do parallel plots between family stuff and spy stuff. Anya looking for a puppy... Dad looking for bomb dogs!

They are in fact explaining the psychic puppy subplot

"It is far too early for Anya-san to get married!" Yor, I would like to study the way your mind works (also mom's here!!!!!!!!!!!!)

UHHHHHHHHHHHHHH EXTREMELY TRAUMATIZING FOR ANYA TO HAVE TO WATCH HER DAD'S IMMINENT DEATH BY EXPLOSION THROUGH DOG-O-VISION

That was an incredibly morose diatribe from The Handler, who is the only spy other than Loid to get a title/name

How is this baby supposed to disarm a bomb?!?!?!??

Ahhhh, by leaving a ketchup message for her dad on the door that says "NO! (Drawing of Bomb)" Of course! We love a girl who knows how to improvise

Dad has got back in the danger zone to stop the last of the Foreign Affairs Minister's terrorist threats, fair enough! I really hope they don't make him [redacted violence involving animal]

OH THANK GOD THEY HAD HIM ATTACK THE VEST AND NOT THE DOG—I WAS PRETTY CONFIDENT THEY WOULDN'T DO THAT TO LOID, BUT YOU NEVER KNOW WITH ANIME

From Yor's perspective, Loid has been in the bathroom for two full episodes

Yor kicking Keith the Radicalized Student Terrorist's car off the road after he has been discovered by Anya and foiled by Loid. We love a team effort!

"How many times must I tell you not to run off alone because it's dangerous?!" [Tearfully] "I'm sowwy." Awwww a very reasonable worry for your daughter who keeps running into every spy mission she possibly can

"I also had a daughter about her age." The Handler's tragic backstory unlocked?!

"Be prepared to take care of him until the end. I may have no right to say those words." Loid's dog care advice has accidentally turned into existential dread about adopting a child for the sake of a peacekeeping mission

Awwwwwww Yor taking cooking classes from her workplace enemy to be a better cook for her family

"Camilla-san has always been a nice person," said Yor, about the woman who called her a whore in front of a room full of people and tried to scald her with hot food on like Episode 2

"The more I savour each bite, the more I see my life flash before my eyes." Say what you will about Weird Brother Yuri, he is supportive

Admittedly this cooking lesson episode has made me like Camilla

HAHAHAHA the "They are whispering" caption so the viewer can understand why no one's reacting to the yelling about spy intel on Scruffy's potential lover

Awwwwwww Loid opting out of the family outing to comfort his little scruffy friend, who I have just re-learned is named Franky

LMAOOOOO at them just having Henderson-sensei do literally all of the classes. Top-tier writing

The Handler now has unlocked TWO new names, which are Sylvia Sherwood and Fullmetal Lady

"On the one day each month that Mister Moon goes away, Anya's power to read minds goes away too." Oooooh new psychic baby lore unlocked

Even though I don't care for Weird Brother Yuri, it is nice that Anya has someone outside of her parents to rely on for tutoring

Loid covering for Incompetent Spy Daybreak jkhfkhfkjhf

I love that Loid broke into the school, not to boost his daughter's grades, but rather to check that she didn't fail and leave it that way, and then reverse cheat (as in, undo someone's wrongdoing) to make sure two other students got their earned grades. What a man!

Ffljlfjjflkj Becky objectifying Anya's dad. I know they're six, but it's not a trope I love

"I was trying to report the cigarette I found, then he punched me." I know this is a scheme but what kind of society has SIX-YEAR-OLDS plausibly smoking???

"Second Son wouldn't do that! Anya was watching." Heck yeah Anya standing up for Damian (even though her Damian motives are decidedly ulterior LOL)

"Don't try to drag me into these adult matters in the first place!" An incredibly reasonable request from Damian

Gdljljggjglkj I love these kids telling Glooman 'Actually, the biggest problem is you have a bad personality' True and real and cutting

"Don't worry. The West is a safe place." ANYAAAA. Something something children and their ability to see people outside of the confines of politics

"There's saltwater pouring out of my eyes." The implication that George has not cried once in his six years of life LMAOOOO

Genuinely heartwarming to see all these kids singing for George and giving away their favourite school items for his sake (also I bet you $5 he doesn't actually have to quit this school)

Update from two minutes later: I was correct lol

I've been thinking about this since the hospital volunteering, but it is kind of a flaw in Loid's spy tactics to choose a public-facing job, because at any point someone could just walk into the hospital and realize he doesn't work there kjhgkjhgg like he should've just been some sort of private practice

Loid running home to "check on what Yor was doing at the school" but actually using it as an excuse to ask her on a lunch date <3

As if the show could psychically tell that I was wondering about it, they are now forcing Loid into a "Take Your Kid to Work Day" situation lmaooo

"[Loid] became an important part of our team as soon as he transferred in." How is Loid an important part of the staff if he's constantly out of hospital doing spy stuff??? How is he even capable of giving psychological care???

"To go with the rest of the facade, a number of my coworkers have also inflitrated this hospital." Ah, perhaps the fact he has a research position and other spies in the hospital is enough to cover his absences and maybe make him have fake patients

Honestly, it's a wonder Anya hasn't run into more problems in the spy realm recently other than getting stuck in a secret passage

HHGKJHGKJHGKJGH Loid taking Anya's improvised sandbox of toys as a sign of deep psychological distress

"He golfs at his workplace and creates shady channels." In every class there is one child who has the most chaotic possible interpretation of their parents' job (the kid who says their parent stabs people for money when really their parent is a tattoo artist) and Anya has decided to be that student

"But if Mrs. Forger just happened to retire, that position would have to be filled, would it not?" Why is Fiona so comically evil about getting to fake marry Loid

"But... this woman doesn't seem to have any flaws in her appearance." Even Father-snatcher Fiona Frost thinks Yor is hot

"To think the great Twilight is stuck playing house.. It's a disservice to the world." Loid said: Fuck you Fiona, I like playing house!

This silent spy standoff has certainly taken a turn:

I actually kind of love that Loid is faced with someone else who has feelings for him, because I KNOW for certain he will choose Yor, and I think that's good for Yor to see

"You're already working hard enough, Yor. That's why Anya is so fond of you. I couldn't ask you to do anything more." HE LOVES HERRRRR

I really resonate with Yor's Girls Who Are Bad At Stuff representation kjhgkgjh

"Agent Penguin suffered honourable injuries in battle." Loid sewing up his daughter's penguin stuffy and making up a backstory for their dog chewing him up ❤️ I love hiiiim

I appreciate that Fiona confirms from someone who knew him before Loid has been changed by love (for Yor and Anya)

NOT THE DOUBLE FAKE TENNIS COUPLE NAMES BEING TWAIN AND NAFALIA PHONY

Though, now that I think of it, I guess Loid's given last name is Forger, so really this is a pattern of very silly names

"We've been developing a new doping agent called OSO-R along with the government in preparation for the upcoming East-West Sports Exhibition." Every so often they dip back into the crime world, and today it's sports doping

"I wonder what her relationship with Loid is." Yor babygirl, you do not need to worry about her, Loid is fully Team Yor

I love this little look into all the different things that come up in an infiltration (having to be very good at specific things like tennis, dealing with potential poisons, compensating for traps)

"You're still young, and you're clearly talented. From now on, hone your craft properly. I'm sure you'll become an amazing player." "Twain, I'll really do my best from now on!" Aside from being an incredible professional tennis player, Loid's talents also include reforming his opponents into better people:

Fhfhfkjhfkfjhf Loid every time Fiona comes near Yor: Hey, please leave my wife alone

"Come at me with everything you've got." "Uh, don't, Fiona." Loid knows Yor has enough physical might to beat a hundred tennis players

Yor wanting Loid to praise her for winning the match 🥺❤️

Loid taking Yor on a reassurance date to let her know she's still #1

"Wait, does Yor have romantic feelings for me?!" TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH, BUT YOU GOT THERE, LOID

NOT LOID IMMEDIATELY SWITCHING TO PLAN HONEY TRAP AND YOR ACCIDENTALLY KICKING SOME SENSE TO HIM

"I can't let my guard down like that. Somehow, being with Yor throws me off." Loid, you stupid man, who can't see that him AND his wife have feelings for each other

"I would love for you to continue being Anya's mother. And to continue in the role of my wife." This is the most honest thing Loid has said in hours

Anya getting Becky a keychain because she didn't think she was allowed to get one for herself!! Sweet girl

What kind of father has ZERO time to interact with his son LMAO (Donovan Desmond, apparently)

"Anya's a little scared because she's not sure if Papa loves her or not. He always gets mad at me. But I believe in him because I love him." ANYAAAAAAAAAA

Papa Desmond and his truly haunting eyes finally make an on-screen appearance and meeting with Loid:

"Even the child that shares your blood is a stranger." Is this a general view from Donovan on his parent-child relationships or is this a shot at Loid for not being Anya's biological father?

"People will never be able to understand each other." What a thing to say about your six-year-old, who is standing right in front of you with his friends

"What's truly important is to continue walking them despite [not understanding each other]. I decided that I would accept her regardless, and I try to find every opportunity I can to talk to her." Loid laying spy ground work on top of challenging Donovan to be a better father. We love a man who can multitask

"I'm pretty sure she doesn't actually dislike you. It'd make me happy if you could be friends with her." "Well, I want to, too..." Gjhgjhgjhfjlfj Loid is also working on Operation Playdate

This has been a pretty delightful show so far. Spy x Family proving to everyone you can fight people AND be nice!!!!

[choccy-milky]

Clora having an adorable mother and the world's most terrifying father makes so much sense. She's inquisitive, strong, brave and scary in her own right like her dad and yet she's small, adorable, sweet and a little naive like her mom, whom she looks just like. It makes sense.

Which means that Sebastian is in for it big time when they're older and it's time to ask for her hand. It's the 1800's, the late 1800's so technically he doesn't have to, Clora says, but Sebastian has met Clive and he knows that if he marries Clora and doesn't ask before hand for her fathers blessing that he might go mysteriously missing or be hit by a curse that causes erectile dysfunction. Which is so much worse.

Doesn't stop him from having a few nervous breakdowns, hyperventilating just a little bit, crying to Ominis that he thinks it's coming, the tea cup with the grimm truly was an omen and his time has come to die.

But, of course, when he asks Clive all he is met with is a long silent stare.

"My daughter has already informed me of your future nuptials. I don't understand why you're here."

Clive knows he doesn't need anyone asking for permission to marry his darling daughter, she's just like him she can definitely take care of herself. Also, I bet he's nicer than he lets on, his wife is the one to actually watch out for.

Sebastian: Your parents live on being contrary.

Clora: ???

He understands this, knows this and gets that his wife is exactly like her parents and that maybe he has bit off more than he could chew.

Ominis: You willingly married into this family. You've no one to blame but yourself.

Sebastian: I know. *puts down newspaper where his wife is on the front cover for taking out a ring of deadly dark wizards singlehandedly, proving just how dangerous Clora can be* I love her so much.

OMG???😭🥹💖💖I LOVED READING THIS!!! THANK YOU FOR WRITING AND SENDING ALL OF THAT AND PUTTING SO MUCH THOUGHT INTO THE CHARACTERS....😭you are so right, clora really is a combo of her parents just in different ways (and its also cracking me up, now that seb has met her dad, that he'll start to recognize clora's "clive mode" when she gets stubborn and serious and puts her foot down HAHA like omg...this is the same sort of feeling i get when her father stares me down...) AN ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION CURSE LMAOOO but youre also so right in that for as overprotective and 1890s as clive is and despite the way he tests seb, he also values clora + her judgement + her happiness, and as long as clora doesnt pick anyone who he actually deems to be a bad person, clive wouldnt feel the need to give his approval (even if seb THINKS he should get it/needs to get it) CLIVE IS A FEMINIST!!! and indeed also much nicer than he lets on🫠 (the only thing is that seb would have been WITH clora taking down that deadly ring of dark wizards. his overprotective ass may know shes capable but that doesnt change the fact that he protects her/treats her as if she isnt BAHHA he cant help it💕)

[emmyrosee]

I legit just came across this reel on insta and thought of your dad!atsumu AU. Like imagine Atsumu posting this and being like “yes I am a man of the women” … just to have his old teamates clown him in the chat with the “you basically copy pasted what Kita san scolded you with”. The chaotic lighthearted arguments that ensue are poetic cinema. 😩🤌🏽 and imagine uncle! Osamu adding to the mix by showing up the next day ready to “party with his niece” first thing in the morning and catch dad!Atsumu slacking in 4k:absolutely knocked out on reader’s chest, drool and all. Morning routine who?

(That being said I do think this reel needs to become the norm and I’m HC all the HQ people can and will be good partners + parents)

BROOOO NEVER LET TSUMU LIVE IN PEACE😮‍💨🩷

Like he makes this super sweet, heartfelt video about how much he appreciates you carrying his baby and holding the fort while he’s gone, and the least he can do all the other mornings, is let you sleep while he gets Hisako ready for the day.

It's filled with laughter and toys and coffee and princess crowns falling into little fruit cubes, and just absolutely everything going smoothly for the camera.

And his fans go buckwild. They love dad!Tsumu posts as much as we do, and they’re in the comments worshipping him and his teachings and just being the absolute best dad ever.

…but that doesn’t last. Because not two hours later does the clownery start. Because he doesn’t deserve peace.

onigirimiya11 bruh ur such a liar. if you’re going to copy like you did in school, at least change the words smh

suna.ejp.rintaro LMAOOO NOT HIM SAYING HE LIKES HIS WIFE WHADDA SIMP-

aranojiro_ you forgot the part where Kita swats you with newspaper. at least be consistent if youre going to steal his gospel

miyasan7137 @/onigirimiya11 @/suna.ejp.rintaro @/aranojiro_ YALL FAKE AS HELL, LEAVE ME ALONE ITS GOOD ADVICE

kshinsuke1 atsumu, im thrilled you are listening to me. tell hisako i said good morning- use those exact words, of course, as youve done here

miyasan7137 @/kshinsuke1 kitasan please im sorry

ksakusaiyoomi no one likes you, Miya

It seems like nothing could be better, let alone feed the hungry dad!atsumu fans, until a few hours later, when Osamu posts a quick "@/miyasan7137 lol this you?" to his story:

atsumu, absolutely knocked out against the couch with his head in hisako's lap while barely in frame in the kitchen, you're cooking, giving the camera a wide smile to match the one hisako shares from behind her pacifier.

[grapenehifics]

Rotating the Obikin Lighthouse Fake-Married AU in my brain 🤔 Forgive me, I’m about to throw a lot of ideas at you because my plot brain is a mess lol.

So, I’m thinking this world but in the 1950’s to make them suitably cut off from the rest of the world and to enable some backstory for them both from WWII. Obi-Wan has already been a keeper of the lighthouse for two years now unaccompanied, but in the fall the owners of the house send him a letter requiring him to marry or else he’ll be fired in favor of an already wed keeper. Panicking, he writes a letter to the local town’s paper requesting an ad to be put out looking for a spouse/assistant keeper.

Anakin within this AU is desperate for a job due to backstory I haven’t thought of yet lol and looks through the newspaper ads to find Obi-Wan’s, and although marrying a stranger and working on a tiny island tending a lighthouse doesn’t sound like his thing, he immediately writes back for the promise of free room and board for six months.

Their first meeting is their wedding, officiated on the seaside dock of the island right after Anakin gets off the boat. From there, the fic would go through their awkward first few weeks, their conflict with one another confined to such a small space, then their budding friendship when they recognize themselves in one another.

I think the smut/romance would naturally come about in the winter, when they have to spend nearly every minute inside lest they freeze in the ocean’s icy mist. Would definitely feature cuddling for warmth, fireside bonding, sleeping in the same bed on the coldest nights 👀 I can just imagine all the kinky shit they’d get up to on a remote island the second the dam broke between them lmaooo

Happy ending is they eventually save up enough money and buy their own lighthouse as a proper couple

Sorry for the unsolicited idea dump! Ignore me if you’re not into it hahaha just had to throw my sudden plot around the AU somewhere!

OMG YES THIS EXACTLY this is what I was picturing too!!

Anakin could be having a hard time readjusting to life post-war that makes it difficult for him to hold down a steady job? PTSD, and/or that's where he lost an arm and that's been a tough transition? (Or employers simply look at him and *assume* he won't be able to do the job, even though he's perfectly capable.)

Their first few weeks together would be SO awkward and uncomfortable! Neither are very talkative or forthcoming so they just sort of...sit and stew, haha. Until one of them makes the other laugh and they learn to have a normal conversation :)

And then you had me at cuddling for warmth. The aesthetics of this is amazing. Fireplaces, warm blankets, hot tea...when they do have to go outside to work, they'll inevitably get soaked to the bone in a storm and need the other to get them out of their wet clothes, dry them off and warm them up!!

And sooooo much privacy; they can be as loud as they want together all the way out there, and have sex in every room of that lighthouse whenever they feel like it ;) (a.k.a. often) (The next owners might not love that part so much...)

EXTREMELY into this and would gladly read more of this anytime!! ♥♥♥ Thank you for running with this fun prompt!!

[genericpuff]

Just letting you know I look forward to all of your essays and posts! I read them during my breaks and meals, I'm like a grandpa with a newspaper llfhehjdhd 💛

Aww thank you so much 😭💕 I love the thought of that, like damn people like my shitposting and way-too-wordy essays LMAOOO meanwhile I'm over here like "if I don't get this stupid ass rant out of my system I'm gonna EXPLODE-"

[justabigoldnerd]

I made a banner for this one too!!!! Also took this picture 🥰

Thank you so much for the tag, @nicijones !!

Rules: Share snippets of your work containing each of the words the previous poster selected for you (optional addition: if you can't find the word in your WIPs, or you simply don't have any WIPs, you can just write a sentence around the word)

My Words: ordinary, battlefield, pierce, flush

Your Words: blade, trance, collect, nose

Ordinary: I searched not only all my WIPs, but also every fic I've written, and not ONCE do I EVER use this word. That is WILD. So naturally I wrote a whole new sentence of a snippet for a new WIP just so I could have this word in a work lmaooo

The time had come. Illya knew it was coming. He had been explicitly warned that it would. Waverly could only keep him on the Isles for so long. The telegram beeped in the message on the morning of a strikingly ordinary day. He was in his flat, drinking tea (English breakfast with a healthy portion of milk) and scanning the blessedly uninteresting stories in the Daily Mirror, waiting for his slower-waking partner to knock on his door so they could walk to headquarters together. Once it stopped, he unhurriedly folded the newspaper and stood from the table to retrieve the message. However, as Illya read the simple words over and over again, his head spun and his hands began to tremble.

Battlefield: "The X-Men From U.N.C.L.E." I knooooow I've used this snippet before but it's the ONLY WIP that uses this word lol

Solo had never seen a battlefield, but the scene smelled like what he imagined a war zone would. He could almost feel the grit of char in his teeth and clogging his throat.

Pierce: "I Am Your Lover (I Am Your Jailor)" Okay. I know this is from an already posted chapter. But I couldn't find this word in any other WIP 😫

In one fluid movement, Solo pulled the doublet and his linen shirt over his head, the wet fabric trying to cling to him. A spear of grief and pain and anger pierced Illya's stomach at the sight of Solo's back. The muscles and scapula shifted under thick scar tissue; rough lines in thatched pattern covering every inch of skin from his shoulders down to the base of his spine. “One for every attempt.”

Flush: "The Most Dangerous Game [Extended]"

"Okay," Illya sighed, "Do your worst." "I'll do my best, thank you," he scoffed lightly, "I don't want to hurt you." Solo wiped away a bit of suds that threatened to fall into Illya's eye, then reached up to remove the shower head. He turned the setting so that the pressure was a soft flush, then carefully rinsed mud and blood from below the line of punctures. "Let me know if it's too much," he said as he kneeled on the shower floor.

Phew! This was definitely the most challenging one I've done!! No pressure tagging @too-young-to-fall-in-love @times-up-alone-tonight @huggiebird @the-golden-comet @pippinoftheshire

@yallwildinrn @cha-melodius @heytheredeann and anyone else who wants to join!!!

[pennydoe]

PLEASE tell me more about the Saskatchewan slasher au, I desperately wanna draw some stuff for it, it looks so cool

OK SO BASICALLY it's in the 1980s cause i LOVE old 80 and 90s slashers, and The choir r more or less the schools newspaper/yearbook committee and stuff. Penny is the new girl, having recently moved to Uranium for the same reason in Legoland, y'know.. the weed smoking shit lmaooo but uh-

(this is all a wip btw i migjt change it cause i haven't really had time to myself the last few weeks)Basically Penny joins yearbook and the school paper to get to know some people, and she's a instant hit with them all, especially ocean cause ofc i gotta make it perfectdolls, but being in those two groups makes noel and especially ocean way to curious for their own good so they drag penny along to a abandoned house they've heard strange reports about and find smth in it (im still deciding if it's gonna be like a haunted book or some relic i honestly don't know) and it ends up in Penny being possessed by a demon/ghost/witch and essentially becoming Jane, but a extremely murderous version.

Noel and Ocean have to flee from Jane, or Doll-Face, and find the rest of 'choir' and they sorta have to figure out a way to save penny and also stop her from her murder spree, and first they gotta actually FIND HER and not let her kill THEM.

It's mostly Noel, Ocean, and Penny/Jane centered ofc cause the choir splits off into two groups to try to cover more ground, so Savannah (Ricky ofc, I just love the Savannah HC), Constance, and Mischa are all in their own group doing seperate research so they can cover more ground..

uhmmm i don't really like Noel's outfit but i Aammmm struggling on designing it a bit, But Jane does wear the same stuff as Penny ofc and i'm still designing the rest of the choir.. Maybe i'll write a fic of if? Idk man.. i'm to stressed lately to really write

here's some unfinished doodles from when i was first coming up with the idea, i really like the post of Jane in the second one so i migjt finish that ..

I wanna finish the designs for the others tomorrow but the issue is i have like... 6 school projects to finish and it's getting so bad to the point i tnink im developing marie antoinette syndrome.. it's either that or i'm paranoid lmao

[whateven333]

How would you have made bonkai canon?

Sorry it took me a while to see this, (even though I was super excited when I saw this -first ask I've gotten 💖 !!!) I was just super busy with Uni stuff, -then when I did see it, I ended up procrastinating for a good few days thinking about how to answer lmaooo, because I've seen how other people have come up with great ideas for this question already and then I felt too much pressure 😭.

Erm, but here I go anyway...🤸🏾‍♀️🥴😺😶‍🌫️

So, I would have them fuck in the prison world.

I know what you might be thinking -I took this long to come up with THIS.

And yes. Yes I did.

...

Okay but maybe also,

I would have definitely loved to see them spend longer in the prison world together.

Kai was shown to be a smart character...MOST of the time, and I think this may have just been another example of inconsistent/ sloppy writing on the show, -but, it never made sense to me how he gave up the ghost so quickly in terms of how he didn't seem to put much effort into stopping Damon and Bonnie from finding out about his sibling murdering stuff. Like, I would have thought, since he had been watching Bonnie and Damon, he had an understanding of how they might react if/ when they found out that information, so you would think maybe he'd try to put off them finding out for as long as possible ? I mean, how hard is it to trash a few newspapers ? But idk, maybe he was thinking -"why put off the inevitable" ??

BUT, had he managed to do so. It would have been an interesting way to make Bonnie less hostile to his advances, I think she definitely would have still been deeply mistrustful of him, considering he would still be..-well, the way he is, (he has that sly, mischievous, aura) and cocky attitude, -and we know Bonnie does not typically fall for that sort of schtick.

However, not knowing he murdered a handful of his siblings probably would have left her way more open to getting to know him- even if it was just out of curiosity, and if they had taken maybe a bit longer to find out how to get out of the prison world/ or maybe Bonnie’s powers hadn’t come back fully and she needed some more time to get back to full strength in order to be able to do the spell to get them out, then Bonnie would maybe have had more moments of prison world boredom (and probably enough irritating digs from Damon) to drive her to interact with Kai more. This could have been a gateway to get them to bond a little, show more moments of tension between the two of them, he would maybe insert himself in her sessions of trying to train her magic back to full strength under the guise of wanting to be helpful but just really in order to facilitate more possible touchy moments like the chest thing lmao, he could’ve shared some gemini spells with her, etc.

And so all of this could have led to what I jokingly (fine, half), said at the start -we could have all this lead up to a super charged moment that leads to them having sex in the prison world. Maybe Bonnie won’t find out about Kai’s past until they all make it back out to the real world, which would lead to a lot of inner turmoil for her (she was the only one of her friends who could say they hadn’t fallen into bed with a mass murderer, but not anymore). When Kai merges with Luke, due to him having had more time to bond with Bonnie, I’d imagine that his hyper-fixation and guilt about Bonnie would be way more intense.

And then…there should be more to this explanation, there’s probably weird gaps in here and maybe not all of what I’ve said even makes sense because I have to admit I’m writing this whilst super tired and it’s 2am and my brain is like starting to buffer and I think this is all I have for now.

But, I really hope this answer wasn’t complete trash anon 😭, (I have no experience with writing any fics of my own, though I am interested and have started dabbling, let's just say its been a little rough lmao -though I am having fun and will keep trying at it, so we'll see what happens, I guess.😭)

Thanks so much for the ask though 💖💖

[pauls1967moustache]

Hellooo!

1. I’d love to know more about your writing process! Do you go through the same steps every time, or does it depend where the fic takes you?

2. Are there any fics/types of fics that you’d never write but you wish someone else would?

3. What’s next in the mo-oeuvre?

Thank you!

hi jav!!!

i go through similar steps usually. on rare occasions i have an idea comes to me so clearly that i can kind of just breeze through writing it out without really going through any sort of process except a bare outline. usually i have an idea and just let it cook for a while noting down bits of it that i like until it's coherent enough for a story. depending on what the fic is about i'll do some little timeline research or whatever (or crowdsource my research by just asking tumblr to find me whatever quote i know i saw but can't find anymore lmao). and then i move into the Mo Classic (outlining). the writing part of it is always the same though. it's bullet point outline -> expanded outline -> get a first draft down without looking at it -> edit/filling out the first draft with details -> final edits and posting. although how much final editing i do depends on how bored i am of the fic by that point. but it's a pretty quick, self-contained process.

i love a good epistolary fic but in many ways i also don't. they're hard to get right without feeling too much like "this is a fanfiction" but when they're done well they slap! i almost had an idea for one that would include like newspaper articles and then it occured to me that i don't want to fucking write any of it lmaooo.

(love the pun, thank you) currently working on paul/yoko, with a twist 😈

[casdeans-pie]

Pie guess what I finished! The first draft of my current destiel wip!!! Sometimes it was like pulling teeth, but it exists! Your rolled up newspaper self-threatening a while ago really worked on me, so thank you thank you🙏 Blessing you with a thousand writing motivations as well 😘 Now to edit and redraft 30k words...oh no. Isn't this hobby supposed to be fun? 😉

Aaahhh !!!!! That's so exciting !!!!

I am so excited for you !

I love how writing is sometimes like genuinely dragging yourself to your wip screaming and kicking but then all of a sudden, in the end, you turn around and it's done!

And then all the pain was worth it !

Lmaooo the rolled up newspaper to the nose is the way forward I see

Thank you for your blessings I will clutch them to my chest so I can find the writing motivation too 🙏

Mmm editing and redrafting - the crunchy end to all that hard work. But once it's all polished and shiny it feels soooo good.

I would love to read it when it's finished !!! Please send it to me!! I am making grabby hands at you!!

No pressure though lmao ❤️

Writers, dishevelled, shaking, covered in blood: I love writing

[unsleepingtales]

MENTOPOLIS REACTIONS EPISODE ONE

Here we go babeyyyyyy. (this is so long. you have been warned.)

Right off the bat the cc says (cool opening noir music) and I'm in love

Mind of a scientist ok!!

brainstorm I'm dying already

HE'S BEEN HERE THE WHOLE TIME <3<3

I'm so excited for Hank Green in the dome guys

Also I love that Hank gets to show just how big a dropout fan he is here

I love that they hacked the system by hiring the people who wrote the original system lmao

God the table is SO COOL

Oh god is this gonna be corrupt

It would be so cool to see theoretically moral 'people' have to deal with being the mental functions of a not necessarily 'moral' person

closeups on the buildings this is SO cool

Dome antics AND light antics??? We're being so spoiled this season <3

First episodes are usually one of my favorites in any given season because I love getting introduced to the characters and watching a story get set up and this looks to be no different

I love the custom office scene for Trapp is there going to be a unique backdrop on the dome for each intro??

Brennan found a list of slang terms for detectives somewhere and decided to have a good time huh

A rubbery kinda guy

Tropes!

I for one LOVE the puns

Siobhan is gonna kill it as a femme fatale I can already tell

They're being so dramatic I love them I love this so much

ooh okay different time system? That's really interesting I wonder why like is it just because the scale is smaller or is there some larger reason within the world logic?

"I understand the sequence of the words you've said, I don't understand how it involves me just yet" FELT

ooh that's a cool feat

what the fuck are you two talking about

they have a mayor?

Does stuff being in the newspaper mean that it comes to the attention of the big guy?

(nat one sound) I love that that's a normal caption <3

Halving mechanic my beloved!! King Solomon that shit

(sad, New York accent) me every day of my goddamn life

is one of god's own children a real saying that I've just never heard in my life

Brennan was just waiting for Danielle to ask what their name was and I'm so glad he was able to slip it in even though she didn't

Norrel Ojiccle I'm gonna lose my mind

The clunk means failure :D

Entirely unrelated but I can't wait for merch of this season I just know it's gonna slap

so many reporters, just one fact checker. so real.

Ooh okay so A probably has ties to a rich/powerful family but left to make her own way

So when an attention being goes somewhere it actually calls the big guy's attention to it? Like if A went to the red light district it wouldn't matter if she reported it or not, the very fact of her being there would do something?

"I heard you say a lotta words there but deep down I really don't wanna pay attention" FELT

Also the word play of he doesn't want to pay her. Because she's A Tension.

Also I didn't write it before but. I think there's more going on with her name than just being a play on attention. Tension means something else. We've gotten clues that the Pulse family has impact on the big guy's actions, implying that they have something to do with the circulatory system, I'm thinking something similar could be going on and that the ties A has could be to a musculatory family? Idk maybe I'm clowning.

(making those sounds you make right before sneezing) cc writers I love you

I was prepared to have mild distaste for this character I was not prepared to be charmed

I love that the names in the red light district all seem to be things that feel good or are a luxury or connect to a physical pleasure trigger in the body I think that's neat

Dan Fucks and Donny Urges. Man.

Ohohoho intrusive thoughts. Oh boy.

The lighting on Brennan's eyes as he said that lmaooo

That one time a barber whispered in your ear. Is this just like a universal experience.

It's not sexual. It's also not not sexual. (being satisfied) it's nooOt sexuAl

oh my GOD oxytocin being hot chocolate but also oxytocin being outlawed because the big guy is lonely and touch starved

I silence with my arms. Also my gun, if necessary. I love you.

Why is he vaguely french

The big guy doesn't DESERVE pleasure???

Deserve.

Hmm.

(saying "yeah" back and forth in increasingly horny ways)

(Hank trying to control his laughter and himself)

(weirdly tense mouth sounds)

They're all so delighted by what's happening this is wonderful

Nobody's allowed to feel good until the job is done this is such neurodivergent guilt shit. This is gonna nerf me I think.

You're telling me that the giant hitman has bad sneak? Unbelievable.

Tropes!

I am once again begging for posters of the dome art. Please. Like retro style travel posters.

oh he's good at this. he's really good at this.

fuck why was that kind of hot.

(Brennan silently laughing in terror and awe) me too babe meee toooo

He can use sharp instead of slick 'cause he's Menacing another cool feat!!

Also yeah that is menacing

I don't think Brennan was prepared to be that flustered and honestly besties neither was I

Hank's satisfied little smirk <3

Trapp so fed up and simultaneously delighted with the puns

But what happens when he's hyperfixated on something that is of no use to the main ambitions of the big guy? What happens to him then?

He's so prepared for it to be a pun

He feels a feeling that he does not know and is not comfortable with. I was so right when I said the audhd rep (explicit or otherwise) would nerf me in the emotions.

Ooh I just noticed on the map it looks like the university is in the red light district? Fascinating.

"Would a good guy do a bad thing?" oh my GOD??

I gave him all the facts and he made a choice KIDDO

He put the papers out of order on purpose?

(old timey speech music)

And all of this makes sense!

Bonjour, hello- Oh well I don't speak that!

"Please reconsider" reconsider what?? Just the illegality of it? Or did he get rejected for a job or smth? I feel like I'm overthinking this.

OOH STAT BREAKDOWN LOVE IT

Are they gonna alternate spellings of his name because if so that's hilarious

My MORTAL ENEMY (referring to a child that was introduced as small, too small, and whose character sheet refers to him as teeny tiny.)

We need lore on the Fakename family please

Oh of course they know each other!

Does that imply that Imelda is somewhat related to intrusive thoughts?

They also know each other!

Babe what are you saying

Notably slightly shinier than most rocks!

It's very satisfying to me that Conrad's stat dice are in descending order.

Wayward interests...

That's not what a superlative is?

OKAY I'M GLAD HE AGREES WITH ME

I love him

The wayward interests are past hyperfixations?? Or maybe interests that were deemed unhelpful?

They both know so many facts this is going to be a wonderful season

I like when it is very clearly explained thank you

What are youuuuu

List of Lists kid <3

Oh my god magic kid. I'm gonna cry.

Key??

Okay so she has an insane amount of power.

Cousins! Ok!

A also has a key! Noted!

Is this kid about to get shot

oh GOD WHAT

Oh what have you done

I loved that so much cannot wait for next week <3