#nlog

[miasmultifandomdump]

It annoys me how so much of modern discourse around female characters is, to be frank, misogyny repackaged as being progressive.

If a woman's strengths and interests are associated with being feminine, such as cooking or enjoying nice clothes or being kind and compassionate, the entire fandom jumps on her as stereotypical or weak. It's seen as cool to bash on "women's work", never mind that your average misogynist has been doing it for decades, hell, centuries, and the jobs that are mocked as women's work are actually pretty essential to humans surviving and thriving.

And then, of course, if a woman shows the slightest hint of nonconformity, the entire fandom jumps on her because "oh!! she's trying to be not like other girls!! she wants male attention so bad!!" It doesn't matter how she is to the other girls in her life, if she wears combat boots and listens to punk instead of Taylor Swift, she clearly hates every other woman ever according to certain parts of fandom. It couldn't be that she's neurodivergent or LGBT or hell, even just a tomboy, she has to hate every other girl on the planet. /sarcasm

AND JUST TO CLARIFY. These tropes can genuinely be negatively done. The traditionally feminine girl can be a weak character and the tomboy girl can be an ass. But when you're calling a girl a "pick me" just because she doesn't live up to your idea of what a woman should look like or what you think feminism is... congratulations. You've simply repackaged sexism and called it woke. And lots of girls who see this crap online are going to suffer for it but hey, it was never actually about them, so who cares, right? /sarcasm

Anyway, to all the girls reading this post, you go ahead and be who you want. Be a princess or a president or a pop singer or a punk rocker or hell, all of the above. You're not a "pick me" you're not a "handmaiden" you're not trying too hard to be "not like other girls". You are fine. Don't let pseudo-woke nonsense get to you. It's just white noise.

[torchwood-99]

Action Heroines Deserve Your Respect

I hate, hate, hate the fact that we've now moved into a space where action heroines are written off as "girlbosses" "nlogs" "yassified queens" "acting like men" and other bullshit like that. I hate that after centuries of women being oppressed through the enforcement of gender roles, female characters who cross gender boundaries are dismissed with a "ugh a woman doesn't have to fight/act like a man to be strong. women can be feminine and strong too".

I hate that people don't see why there will always be a strain of feminism in the action heroines because her existence; whether she be written well or not, and acceptance is a sign that we're moving past attitudes that have kept women confined and limited.

I hate that an action heroines has to be ten times better written than a male action hero because people; both men and women, are just waiting for the chance to rip her to shreds and dismiss as her as "lazy feminism" "girl boss pandering" and a "not like other girl girl".

I hate that there can be male characters who have little personality other than badass and people can just enjoy them for what they are and take them in the spirit in which they were created, whereas a female action character must never be allowed to be a badass bit of escaper lest she be the worst thing to ever happen to feminism.

I hate that there's less than one female action heroines to every ten make action heroes and their existence is still treated as a scourge in fiction. I hate that a poorly written male action hero is no more or less than a single character who wasn't written well, whereas a poorly written action heroine; whose threshold of being well written is much higher, is seen as an attack on the genre.

I hate that in genres where action and battle sequences are a staple and often provide massive emotional/plot climaxes, people refuse to see why female fans may want to see female heroines in those scenes.

I hate that people who aren't that into action heroines themselves can't just sit stand and shut up and think for a second why their existence means so much to fans of their characters, how long it was for fans to see characters like that become mainstream, and why for girls who see themselves in these heroines more than any other, it's bloody exhausting to hear them dismissed as "shallow" and "only liked because they act like men".

The moments when the music is the most dramatic, the moment everything has been building up to, when the chills are going down your spine, when every split second decision matters, when trust in friends is vindicated, when humanity is stripped down to its bare essentials and you see who these characters are when there's nothing left to lose. When nothing is pretty and soft but harsh and desperate and brutal and ugly. These moments matter so much, and are such a crucial part of the genres they exist in. They are so thrilling and cathartic and moving to watch, and of bloody course there are girls who want to see themselves in.

Not because these action heroines are acting "like men". Because these sequences tell us that the traits exhibited by the heroines in these sequences, the strength, physical and emotional, the resilience, the quick thinking, the camaraderie, the skill, are not exclusively the domain of men. These women aren't "trying to be men". They're trying to live. To defend. To advance a cause. To partake in the world around them on their own terms and have their lives in their hands.

Yes, yes, yes, there are lots of ways to be strong and proactive and admirable but fuck it, a good action sequence is moving and inspiring and fun and can make you feel like you've been on a roller coaster. And when I watch a sci-fi or a fantasy epic, I want to see women in those sequences. To be a part of that onscreen phenomena that is so pivotal to the genre.

When I watch an epic fantasy or sci-fi show, where there are beautiful and thoughtful and terrifying and emotional battle scenes, I want to see female characters partake in them. I want them to be the ones giving the speeches, being in that charge, wielding their swords, terrified, bloodthirsty, rage filled, righteous, merciful, valiant, exhausted, sweat, brutal, honourable, sly, messy. I want them to be in those moments for those moments in themselves.

[cpericardium]

[schmergo]

I'm not like other girls, I'm 'Denny,' a girl with a Neanderthal mother and a Denisovan father whose toe bone was found in a cave in Siberia in 2018

[violet-moonstone]

I know it's very in right now to pounce on any woman or girl (fictional or otherwise) who talks about experiences of feeling different/behaving "different" or "weird" or "quirky" and call them an NLOG, but let's remember that a lot of us grew up being criticized and made fun of for our differences to the point that we expected people to think we were weird and offputting by default. Some of us learned that in certain situations, we could make ourselves more palatable by saying "sorry, I know this thing I'm into is weird," or "you probably think this is boring," because at the very least we showed self-awareness and it took some of the punch out of other people's judgment.

And some of us said "screw you, I guess I'm not like other girls and that's completely fine, please leave me alone and just let me be myself". Some of us probably developed some internalized misogyny, but I don't think blaming adolescent girls for doing what they could to deal with the insecurities and self-loathing instilled in them from a young age is the answer.

Don't mind me, just remembering people who got mad at me when I was a kid for being bad at socializing with kids my age and telling me the reason I hated parties was because "I think I'm better than everyone else," and not because some social interactions made me so nervous I would hide in the bathroom and cry.

Idk, some girls are legitimately *actually* different for a variety of reasons (race, class, sexuality, neurodivergence, mental health, etc) and simply acknowledging the reality of your experiences doesn't automatically mean you hate other women.

[butch-reidentified]

found by total coincidence 🥰

[ghostlyviolet]

“I’m not like other girls I watch true crime”

Do you realize that’s one of the trendiest things to do right now 😭 it just got hella popular all of a sudden!

(Not directed at anyone ik it just hit me, what is it with the whole increase of true crime lovers)

[beyond-mogai-pride-flags]

NLOG Pride Flag

NLOGs: not like the other girls (or guys, depending the situation).

Often used derogatorily, but can also be reclaimed.

[neilpissyrega]

i remember my “not like the other girls” phase…

well, 12 year old me, you were right. you’re not like the other girls

you’re a dude

[lemuel-apologist]

thinking about that nlog phase again. we see it as a moral failing on the part of the young, that some girls want to separate themselves from the conception of girls as a whole. i know the classic rebuttals are that it's fine to be like other girls and that to viciously separate yourself in such an admittedly cringe way is just buying into the myths of patriarchy--

but what of girls who really, truly did not fit that mold? who didn't have common ground with other girls as often as they did their male peers? i didn't become like that consciously. as best i can tell, it was a response to being socially sidelined for most of my childhood. i didn't consciously notice what was happening to me until junior high, around ninth grade.

because that's what you do with weird and gross girls. girls who eat out of the trash. girls who like stage tech. girls who have a weird thing about how cool frankenstein is. girls who won't touch middle grade or YA romance. girls who cannot relate to the common experiences of their peers. i was not the one who shot myself with toy arrows at sleepovers because i thought it was funny. i was not the one casting myself as an old lady in every play. i was not the one leaving myself out of social experiences, study groups, playing at recess. it was a social phenomenon i didn't have much control over, because i was different, they knew it, and it was socially weird to have me around. taking on an aspect of "not like other girls" in retaliation to being told you are not like your peers (and this is bad) is like baby's first reclamation. it's an attitude to grow out of, but the fact is that it's the attitude that needs to change, not the aspects of your personality that your peers picked up on before you did.

[torchwood-99]

So I first heard Rachel Zegler's comments about Snow White and thought, good, they're doing something different with the story. No point in their being a remake if they don't. And her growing into a leader? Makes sense. She's a princess, heir to the throne, she's been usurped by a tyrant, there's a whole untapped mine of drama there. And of course, she can be all this and still fall in love and be ladylike and elegant, where does it say she won't?

But you know what? Why the fuck should she? All these people throwing a tantrum that "women aren't allowed to be feminine and strong anymore" and I have to laugh because what, did they think that 2015 Cinderella wasn't "feminine"? Or Belle or Ariel? That they weren't elegant and gracious and beautiful and very much fitting in with gender norms? They had some grit, they had dreams outside marriage and love as well as beyond, but they were far from GNC.

So to eff with it. Snow White has been a servant for a good chunk of her life, she's been mistreated and she hasn't been taken etiquette lessons. Let her spit. Let her get dirty. Let her be rough and vulgar and ready to get dirty and rough house for the sake of it. Let her do that because it's fun and it suits her and it's part of who she is, not because she want to be like the "boys" and girls like her just want to be NLOGs, but because that stuff is just what she likes. Let's have a princess who takes what the world tells her is "feminine" and stamp on it.

If people are going to get into a hissy fit about female characters not being allowed to be "feminine" anymore, let's give them something to really piss them off. They'll see how good they have it. Right now, Eloise Bridgerton in her bows and her desire for basic autonomy is pushing the boat too much. Princess Peach in a bright pink jumpsuit is butch. Daenerys Targaryen and Arya Stark have "male privilege" because they are warriors and leaders and don't engage in traditionally high class "feminine" pass times. I think these viewers need to see a female character who is all the things they fear, and realise just how narrow and limited their view of women and "femininity" is.

And it's really telling that all Rachel is saying here is that Snow White is going to be thinking on things other than romance, is going to rely on herself instead of her true love alone, that she's going to be thinking about herself as a leader and a ruler, and fans took that as "Oh why can't Snow White be feminine anymore? Why can't a character be feminine and strong!?!"

No one was talking about Snow White's femininity, just her role as a leader and her gaining some proactivity. That's her strength, there. But the mention of it has you saying that she's not being allowed to be feminine. And you're upset that women can't be "feminine" and can't be "strong" at the same time. But you're worried that in being a leader and being proactive means that Snow White is no longer "feminine".

If that's what you're saying, then the only people saying that women can't be "feminine" and can't be "strong" are in fact, you.

And you know what, a live action princess who is rough and reckless, properly dirty and uninterested in how she looks, who never gets a glow up, isn't a "secretly/wild beauty" type, who gets to get rowdy and not have this held up as her somehow rejecting being a woman, but just a person being true to herself, would be really bloody brilliant. Brilliant for the little girls at home, who get to see there are options for them, brilliant to watch on screen and brilliant to follow on a journey. And you don't want to watch a character like that? You want someone who wears dresses and wants romance and fits in with "feminine ideals". Go ahead. You'll see that you have plenty of options.

[askrvmp]

cool off doodles

[gothra]

the whole “not like other girls” trend has become catty and ultimately counterintuitive. you’re not a high class feminist because you dunk on women who aren’t perfect. In fact, im inclined to believe you’re using their imperfection as an excuse to disrespect them. so maybe check that. Identify the hypocrisy in trying to feel special by aggressively targeting women that also want to feel special

[susandsnell]

this is specifically about reactionaries in the already too-conservative period piece fandom, but you know what, it applies in general

[electr1ca]

my bot NLOG, with a lil face insignia

[welivetodream]

Me at 13: ugh all these girls are soooo drama, I am different. I don't even wear pink and listen to pop songs. I guess I am 'not like the other girls'.

*cringe*

Me at 17: loves pink, doesn't like jeans and wears dresses and skirts, watches chick flicks, listens to mainstream pop, worships Taylor Swift, waits for the MET gala every year, loves gossip, watches Chanel, Dior, Balenciaga fashion shows, watches video essays on celebrity culture and media, follows fashion historians, hates sports, hates video games, hates most "boyish" activities and wishes I was in a Jane Austen novel or a Nicolas Sparks movie.

Me: I guess I am the other girls I used to talk about