#no knowledge of the bad batch required

[stardustandash]

Next Febuwhump fic!! This time it is the prompt 'outnumbered' and I've chosen J:FO (with a little Bad Batch flavour, no knowledge of the Bad Batch required). This one goes out to the Merrin and whump fans <3

Words: 2,247

Tags: blood and injury, hurt/comfort, BAMF Merrin

ao3 link

Outnumbered and Outgunned

The Empire always has a funny way of showing up at the worst moments. Things are already going sideways for Merrin on this mission but with the addition of the empire everything has gone from bad to worse. The Jedi relic she was supposed to be collecting for Cere was gone, and her pilot turned out to be some kind of treasure hunter, or “liberator of ancient wonders” herself, and had dragged her all through the ancient temple even after Merrin had said they should go back. Which had led them straight into the reason why the temple was empty in the first place: an Imperial base.

So here Merrin stands, with her back to a crumbling Jedi temple, only her dagger and magicks to arm herself, in front of what seems like a hundred Stormtroopers. At her side her pilot and treasure hunter mutters to herself and draws a blaster. While Merrin would like to think that the two of them have become a little more than strangers, she never knows how anyone will react to seeing Nightsister magick for the first time. She can only hope that this will be one of the times her companion is unflappable.

Without waiting to give the Stormtroopers a chance at aiming their blasters Merrin teleports herself into their ranks and slashes out with her dagger. She has practised the art of sinking it into the soft, fleshy gaps between the plates of white armour and her aim remains true. The first trooper goes down in a gurgle of blood and Merrin vanishes before the one next to him can raise his blaster.

From somewhere behind the sea of white-armoured bodies Merrin hears her pilot yelling taunts and blaster fire, so she can assume that the other woman is doing alright. For a while Merrin manages to hold her own. Over the years since leaving Dathomir she has honed her ability to kill into a deadly grace. The blood on her hands means one less Stormtrooper in the Imperial army. One less blaster gunning for the innocent. She carves her way through countless bodies, leaving a trail of death and fear in her wake.

And yet, there are more.

Stormtroopers seem to be respawning two for every one fallen. Merrin can feel herself flagging, the familiar feeling of a fist below her ribcage settling in as the first sign of her magick running thin. On Dathomir she would have been able to raise the dead to fight for her and pull upon an endless sea of magick. Out here in the galaxy she could only bring what magick with her she could build up with meditation. Cal always had another explanation, one to do with the Force and energy and some other things, but since they had parted ways it was best to leave those thoughts behind as well.

Merrin pops into existence behind a trooper and he falls with a gurgling scream. The effort of her magick is taking its toll now, she can feel the heaviness settling into her bones. Though she can still hear the exchange of blaster fire she can no longer hear taunts and insults above it. She hopes that only means her pilot is getting as tired as she is, not that she is injured. Merrin may know a little about flying, but she cannot get a ship she does not know off the ground and chart a course for Jedha. With a small pull at her magick she expands her dagger into a spear. With it she can sweep around her and keep the endless sea of troopers back as she cuts her way through towards her pilot.

Without her teleportation, however, Merrin becomes a much easier target for the Stormtroopers. They focus their blaster shots at her, and unlike a lightsaber, her spear won’t deflect the bolts. She must instead rely on instinct and ability to dodge. It goes well for a bit, but she is already tired. Heat flares across the side of her ribs just as she spots her pilot’s dark dreadlocks and blue bandanna.

Merrin stumbles, but only for a moment. She catches herself on the end of her spear and growls as she guts the trooper that shot her. Then she is back tearing through the crowd until she lands panting at the pilot’s side.

“Ghost Girl!” exclaims the pilot. “We gotta go!”

Merrin grimaces at the nickname, but she can’t help the fact that due to her colouring and magick half the galaxy calls her something ghost related. She doesn’t bother responding to the obvious as she grabs hold of the pilot’s arm.

“Do you get sick easily?”

“What? What kind of a question is that?”

“Because I need to know you will be able to keep running when we land,” says Merrin.

“No, I usually have a stomach of iron.”

“Good.”

Merrin gathers the magick to herself. In her mind’s eye she pictures the inside of the temple they walked through to get here, the pilot’s ship with its odd little droid. She squeezes her hand tighter around the woman’s wrist, making sure her grip doesn’t falter. A blaster bolt whizzes past her head close enough to singe though her hair and burn her ear,  but Merrin hardly pays it any attention, instead concentrating on the spell.

“Sisters, mother, lend me your strength,” she whispers under her breath. She has not called upon them for much since leaving Dathomir, but now feels like as good a time as any to beg for their help.

Green magick swirls around Merrin, weaving between her and the pilot she intends to drag along with her. She has only done this with someone else once, and Cere had been sick for hours after. Merrin can only hope that the pilot takes it better. The Stormtroopers are closing in now that Merrin has stopped trying to stab them with her spear and they only have the pilot’s blaster to contend with. Then Merrin feels it, the spell is ready and within her grasp. Just as she unleashes it though two more rounds of blasterfire echo through the air. As Merrin disappears into the magick with her pilot she feels two bright bursts of pain.

Merrin rematerializes with a strangled scream. Her leg collapses beneath her, unable to bear her weight with the addition of a smoking hole through her thigh. Her shoulder throbs angrily as she hits the ground, letting her know where that second shot landed. At least they made it into the temple.

“Dank Farrik!” shouts the pilot as she lands on her hands and knees beside Merrin.

“My thoughts as well,” says Merrin with a groan.

The blaster holes are starting to burn with an all-encompassing flame. Even in the dim light Merrin can see the wetness spreading across the floor beneath her. She won’t be walking out of here, that much was certain. A glance at the pilot said that the woman is true to her word, she only appears rattled, not sick, though it is hard to tell in humans. She reaches out for the magick and feels it curling around her. Even just the process of reaching out to it is draining, and between the holes in her and the fight she knows she probably doesn’t have enough to get them to the ship.

“Oh Ghost Girl,” says the pilot with a low, sad voice. “Oh no.”

“It is not as bad as it looks,” says Merrin. They cannot afford to pause with worry here. The Stormtroopers will no doubt be searching the temple soon, if they aren’t already, and Merrin would not like to be here when they come across this hall.

“Well I’d say that if it’s even half as bad as it looks, we’re in a bit of an emergency situation.”

“And we were not before?”

“Stormtroopers? Nah, I can handle those any day. This? This is out of my realm of expertise,” says the pilot. “But I got a medkit and a ship that can get you to someone who can handle this. All you gotta do is stay alive long enough to get there.”

Merrin grins at her. She may be covered in her own blood and likely halfway to dying, but the pilot is funny, and more calm than anticipated. She should probably try to remember her name at some point.

It takes some maneuvering and swearing from the both of them but eventually the pilot gets Merrin out of the puddle of blood and to her feet and slings Merrin’s good arm over her shoulder. The position pulls at the graze on her side, but it is better than the alternative. Together they set off down the hall in the direction of the ship. Or rather the pilot sets off and Merrin does her best to keep herself on her feet as she’s dragged along.

Merrin hates feeling weak, but she cannot help herself while bleeding out. She must rely on her pilot to get her to safety. The walk through the temple becomes a haze of pain and darkness. At least they cannot hear the sounds of Stormtroopers behind them, but that doesn’t mean they can rest.

At last the ship comes into view. The thing is old and clunky compared to the Mantis but it is the best ship Merrin’s ever seen at the moment. The pilot helps her shuffle up the ramp and past the large, blocky droid and dumps her into the co-pilot seat. Merrin melts into the old leather and only feels slightly guilty about bleeding all over it. If the pilot didn’t want blood all over her cockpit she should’ve left her somewhere else. Distantly she registers that the ship is powering up, then rocking with movement yet it takes the blue of hyperspace outside the viewport for Merrin to realize they’re already in hyperspace and flying away from the Empire.

Then the pilot is looming over her, medkit in hand and far too close. Merrin starts, nearly sliding off the chair before collecting herself.

“Woah there,” says the pilot. “Just want to get you patched up before you decide to entirely repaint my cockpit.”

“Thanks,” Merrin mumbles.

The pilot crouches down and helps Merrin take off her jacket. The pain is excruciating and where Merrin would simply rip off the jacket as fast as she could or cut it off, the woman is slow and careful. By the time its off and in a heap on the floor Merrin is panting from the pain. Then there is the blissful coolness of bacta as the woman puts patches on her shoulder and thigh. Her side is fine without, and Merrin does not want the pilot to waste her entire medkit on her.

“There. That’ll hold you for now, but you really need some proper attention,” says the pilot as she leans back on her heels. “I have some friends who might be able to help you out, unless you already got somebody?”

Merrin weighs her options. She barely knows the pilot, she definitely doesn’t know or trust the woman’s friends. Yet can she betray Cere’s trust and lead this outsider to her newly founded base. It is a tough decision. What tips the scales is only the fact that Merrin is hurting and alone, and Cere is the closest thing she has to her sisters and all she wants right now is to be wrapped up in the safety of someone who understands.

“Cere,” says Merrin.

“Okay. Where do I find this Cere.”

Merrin bites her lip. “Jedha.”

“Jedha? Now that’s outta the way. Good choice for hiding.”

Merrin gives her the coordinates and the base’s comm channel. It feels like a betrayal, saying it all aloud, but at the same time it is a relief. She will see Cere soon. She closes her eyes and sinks into the seat. Beside her the pilot launches into some kind of story about ancient technology and a machine the size of a mountain. There are traps and diverging paths, and people that the pilot carefully does not name. Merrin lets it wash over her, drifting in and out. The story changes. Whether it’s the same one or different stories, she cannot tell. The trance breaks when she hears the tell-tale beeping of a ship comm.

“Hello? This is Phee Genoa, I’m looking for someone named Cere?”

“How did you get this comm channel.”

“Funny story, actually. Don’t have time to tell it at the moment. Got it from a girl. Grey, scary, ring any bells?”

“And what business do you have with Cere?”

“Well, see, my friend, the aforementioned girl, needs immediate medical attention and asked for her, so I’m just here to drop her off.”

“Very well, permission granted. These are the docking coordinates.”

“Received, thank you.”

There’s a beep, and the call ends. Merrin blinks her bleary eyes open to see the brown desert of Jedha looming through the viewport. Soon she will be at the base with Cere. She glances over at the pilot, Phee. Though she talks a lot, she seems like a good sort. Anti-Empire at least. She wonders if perhaps liberating ancient wonders could turn into liberating Force-sensitives from the threat of the Empire. She’d leave it to Cere to make a final decision, but maybe she will bring it up. Though it will have to wait until she is no longer bleeding like a stuck nydak.

[clonehub]

The Clones, Kamino, and Relationships

I've long speculated on what the clones' values would be as a people regarding every type of relationship they could possibly have with others around them -- antagonistic, romantic/sexual, professional, platonic, familial, etc.

Often times when making headcanons along these lines, people tend to project their own social upbringings onto the clones with or without realizing; they rely heavily on a reality that doesn't exist for the clones and then try to justify it with the same reality. Their analyses and theories and hcs end up flawed (and, for me, really annoying to read).

I'm sure you've all heard the fanon/headcanons that clones don't have the necessary and nebulously-defined "life experiences" that are required to mark them as adults. People think the clones lack a certain amount of knowledge about themselves and their bodies, and then others' bodies and how those work. They think the clones have no social awareness; I even saw someone say that clones wouldn't have had rivals, frenemies, or any negative interaction with other clones.

This long form and hopefully structured rant is going to lay out everything I think about how the clones were raised, why they're raised that way, and what that means when they interact with one another and with non clones.

Antagonistic Relationships

The clones argue. They fight. They disagree. We see this repeatedly in The Clone Wars and all throughout the Bad Batch. They disagree with superiors, both Jedi and non Jedi.

Disagreement within a group helps foster social bonds, can strengthen critical thinking/reasoning, and has a few other benefits I don't feel like listing out right now. Regardless, managing disagreements in a group requires conflict resolution skills.

The General Relationship Structure on Kamino

The clones must be taught to be loyal, to be amicable, and how to resolve conflicts within squads and bigger and bigger groupings of clones. The clones are going to war. They're trained soldiers. They have to be able to work on a team. Team work isn't just following orders and it isn't just being friends. That also means swallowing pride, setting aside ego, and even speaking up.

They can get jealous, they can be envious, they can have a whole host of complex feelings and emotions that they need to work through. The Drill sergeants would thus be instructed to be aware of and teach the clones who to work through this (whether they choose pats on the head or a fist is up to them).

I'm saying this to say that fandom often takes clones' "guns n battle" education a little (waaayy) too literally. They're not just given a gun at 2 and told to start firing. They need to be told that you can't turn that gun on your brother just because he said something annoying or you think he's dumb.

The Galaxy Outside Kamino

The clones learn about the galaxy outside Kamino. They get a heavily censored and propagandized history of the galaxy that plays up the Republic and absolutely villainizes anyone else, but they definitely do learn about the galaxy in general. They learn about other species, where those species are located, etc.

I say this to say that people like to act like the clones are so sheltered that they basically gawk at the mere existence of anyone who isn't a clone (so like....racist via ignorance?) which....I don't understand, really. The Kaminoans want to deliver a functioning and high quality product. They can't do that if they don't tell the clones that there's people out there that look different frmo you and speak a different language. A lot of clones are bound to interact with civilians; what sense is there in not prepping them for it?

These history lessons wouldn't even take too long to learn or anything like that. Some people like to headcanon that the clones' education schedule is so tight that they can't learn about "unnecessary" things (i.e. anything that isn't about guns n battle). But the clones are also fast learners. I think they can handle like two days of lessons about the galaxy's species.

Learning about the galaxy also requires --

Social Awareness

I've often seen headcanons that the clones, in one way or another, lack social awareness. "Non clones are basically an alien species! They're bound to ask loud, rude, ignorant, offensive questions! They're not shy, so they'd totally just strip in public if they need to!" (yes, I saw someone say this)

This comes from people infantilizing the clones and refusing to write or see them as the adults that they are. This is also severely shortsighted; again, being aware of the fact that the Kaminoans want a product that can do its job, who is helped by the clones blundering through greater society and destroying the genpop's trust in and comfort with them?

The clones get taught the basics of social politeness. They wouldn't manage the intricacies of cross-cultural interaction from two like high level senators, but that's not their job. They're polite, they're professional, they're aware of what is and isn't rude. They're self aware. They're adults.

Personal and Bodily Awareness

Sorry to the people who are weirdly misogynistic, but the clones also get comprehensive sex ed. It's inevitable that some clones are going to sleep with a non-clone. It's bound to happen! Rather than pretend it never does, the clones are told in detail about two things:

The human reproductive system.

Basic contraceptives and STI prevention.

part of maintaining the health and safety of any given population is making sure that they don't get sick. STIs are a way of getting sick. Part of maintaining the health and safety of a given population is managing unwanted or unexepcted pregnancies. Condoms prevent that. I think the medics have them and distribute them as-needed when they go on leave planetside.

So they get consent training (they'd have to, in order to learn how to interact with anyone ever in a normal and healthy way). The contours of consent would interact with their lifestyles in a contradictory way because they're also rather explicitly told they don't have the right to give/revoke consent over their own bodies, but they're at least told about other's bodies.

But here's the thing. The clones rarely. RARELY. Do end up having sex or a relationship because of two reasons:

They rarely interact with non-clones who are viable for sexual or romantic relationships (as in, most of the non-clones they're in contact with are COs and Jedi)

They themselves do not value sex and relationships to the extent that we do in our society.

for the first point: they're in battle a lot, and when they go on leave they face a society that does not like clones. There are anti-clone protests, 79s is one of the few bars that allows clones in, and when they're at battle they're notably not interacting with civilians for obvious reasons. The average jedi and non clone CO is not going to seek a sexual or romantic relationship with a clone.

This also presumes that clones don't sleep with other clones. I'm not giving ground on this. It's clear within canon that the clones view each other as true family. "Brothers" is not just "brother in arms", but quite literally a familial term for them. Fives' "same heart, same blood" speech in season 3 is evidence. Sister being called/naming herself Sister is another (her being transfem alone isn't enough; if they didn't view their familial relationships as fundamental to who they are, they would have given her a regular name, not Sister). They also refer to one another primarily as brothers, even when there's bad blood -- like Slick insisting that he did loves his brothers. Not comrades or friends or squad mates. Brothers. The entire 501st.

Frankly, the "they're bound to do it" view that many people seem to have is very bizarre to me. Who cares about proximity? What are their values as a people? What have they been taught? What do they believe? Why assume that any given clone would do that? Plenty of people spend a lifetime around their families without ever developing a desire to sleep with them. Who you grow up with can absolutely influence who you're attracted to, but not to this degree.

The assumption that clones MUST sleep with one another relies on a rather wide series of assumptions that just do the thing I complained about in the opener, which is rely on our own culture's values to write the clones. Which ties into point #2 up above:

The clones don't value sex or relationships as something they need to seek out. Yeah, they'd get horny. They're adults. It happens! Part of life. But what's socially considered an appropriate release of those feelings would be different from what we see in today's world. The drill sergeants wouldn't impress upon them the importance of having a partner, because how does that help them? How does it benefit the Republic, the civilians, the clones?

The clones are soldiers who were bred for war and are focused, first and foremost, on fighting and fulfilling their duty. Their most important social values are fighting, duty, and loyalty. Hierarchy, warfare, survival, etc. Can a clone seek out sex? Yeah! Is that even like, remotely common given the points I made above? No! Does the average clone chase civilians or even dream about relationships, sex, etc etc etc? Nope. They weren't taught to value it.

(This isn't to say that wanting these things makes a clone bad at their job, or that having sex means they're breaking a rule somewhere. They're not. it's just like how the majority of college students go for the most common majors because they're taught that those are valuable and desirable things to learn in school. You'll get one or two who have a concentration in something you've never heard of. They're not wrong for that, but they're definitely outliers)

So the average clone is a virgin that doesn't even think about it because it doesn't matter to them. They know about both male and female reproduction, and they know how to interact with civilians.

They're definitely sheltered. I highly doubt that any clone is given the skills necessary to manage like, romantic relationship problems, especially the really gritty ones. They're not told about their rights as beings, their ability to say no to most situations that involve a military CO. But they know about saying please and thank you, solving interpersonal conflicts, and about pads and tampons. They know about boundaries, appropriate behavior in public, and how to use a condom. They know about girlfriends and boyfriends and partners, they just don't generally care about them. They're rare -- not socially shunned, just rare. like the niche college concentrations.

A really good meta to read that I personally love is written by @canichangemyblogname and linked in his pinned. @saga-ordsmed also has a few interesting metas floating somewhere on her blog. theyre not about this topic in particular, but she's got interesting insights into the Republic.

I hope this was coherent enough. I wrote this mostly because I saw a contradictory post that pissed me off and I was yelling about it with friends in discord lol. Basically, the clones are adults, but don't presume that they have the same values that we do, or that the poeple in charge of their care and upbringing share our values either.

[ideas-4-stories]

Cross Guild romance AU -

Buggy makes his own explosives, which doesn't sound all that important until you sit back and think of the ramifications and knowledge required for that. Buggy is damn good with chemistry, math, physics, and I bet he was the brain to Shanks's brawn on the Oro Jackson; he'd probably have been all over Crocus whenever he could to learn more about anything and everything.

Crocodile and Mihaw don't really put the two together, given that they see Buggy primarily as an idiot and coward. It's when an epidemic spreads on the island that some odd things click into place-

Buggy has forgone the big costume, is in comfy and sturdy clothes. His face is painted minimally, hair tied into a tight bun, bandana on, and he's working side by side with the medical professionals. He's elbows deep in checking vitals, organizing charts, and even synthesizing medications. More members are sick than not, and they go under a near-quarantine lock down to handle the illness. Between working in the medical tents and taking care of his people, Buggy has also had a hand in organizing for resources to be sent and delivered.

Neither Croc nor Hawk had even considered some of the balls Buggy has gotten rolling. They both have very strong immune systems, so they rarely face or think of illness or sickness as something to prepare for or to account for, but this just exploded one day seemingly without warning, and the clown had a plan in motion by eevening.

It's at this point that they begin to wonder if maybe there's something more to their Chairman than they first thought...

((Bonus points, they catch Buggy coming back from a long shift at the medtent, sent off by the other's to get some rest, so he's just at that sweet spot of tired enough to lose filter. They ask about the medicines, and Buggy goes on a mini infodump about chemicals, hormones, enzymes, antioxidants and antibiotics, mentions that he and a few others already have a few batches baking, and sleepily chuckles about how "the simpler ones seem to work well so far, thank goodness. I was worried... *yawn* that I'd have to dip into my supplies for my testosterone... *falls asleep at the table*.

Croc just becomes the Spiderman meme of "TRANS???" when Buggy wakes up))

I LOVE this is an understatement, this is so good!!! I love Competent!Buggy so much!!! Why can't the clown be a fucking genius while being clown-failure babygirl he is?

Buggy having a plan by evening is because he has so much anxiety, I mean, look at the poor clown! It's always the things that he didn't think of that happens that gets him in trouble. But this, he can do this. I also love the headcanon, that Buggy learn a lot of things from Crocus, so he has this in the bag!

It would be funny if Buggy could be fine in a really bad pandemics, but the flu and whatever the happened near Laugh-Tale is his biggest sickness problems. What am I saying, back to this cool ask!

Buggy being competent because he doesn't want his crew to die or get really ill, not because he needs them to work, but because he wants them healthy and happy. Buggy forgoing the pillow onesie for something better, and not taking that much time on his makeup is so good, that just shows how he priorities his Nakama before himself is so cute! I have a headcanon that Buggy has a least a Field Medic degree or a Nurse one. Mihawk and Crocodile watching at the sidelines is what I see them doing, because like the clown's being competent and they see there's not much they can do in this.

Yes, on Buggy rambling on and on about things he does, I want Buggy to infodump so hard. Like really really hard, Buggy could go on and on about things that interests him for a while.

Buggy is every gender and nothing at all to me, and the spiderman meme with Crocodile is the only one pointing at Buggy while Buggy is confused and sleepy, while Mihawk is just there on the sidelines. Is really funny to me.

[dontyoufeelitangel]

BUILD ME UP

Echo - The Bad Batch x Fem!Reader

Synopsis: A psychology lesson from the medic of the batch turns into a personal experiment. How will Echo react to being your subject?

Tags/Warnings: SFW, mentions of animal testing (nothing graphic), established relationships, kissing, fluff, (I accidentally made Wreck really dumb in the first half, so we’re just going to pretend that’s because he’s tipsy. Sorry wreck!)

Prompt : “Why do you build me up, buttercup baby, just to let me down? - I need you, more than anyone darling. You know that I have from the start. So build me up, buttercup, don’t break my heart.”

A/N: this prompt comes from the bad batch playlist I put together from the song “Build Me Up Buttercup - The Foundations”. This is not a song fic, feel free to check out the playlist! Also, yes the timeline and character appearances in this chapter are messed up and do not follow the original show, shhh it’s fine, we’re gonna ignore it🤫

.

.

.

You joined the batch as their medic right before the rise of the empire and stuck with them through order 66. While you never officially finished your medic schooling, you were qualified. More than qualified actually. You had saved the boys butts on multiple occasions, and when it came to the mental weight of what they’ve been through, you always knew just what to say.

Over time you naturally became great friends with the boys. Each of them were so unique and they had so much personality. They became your home away from home. You seemed to be closer with one more than the others. Echo. He was -biologically- the reg of the group, but his experience and individuality made him as unique as the rest of the batch. It was also what made you fall for him.

Naturally, the two of you became a thing, nothing official but it was very clear the both of you loved each other.

So here you sat, the dim lights of Cid’s parlor reflecting on your glass. Wrecker and Tech were in a game of sabacc. You sat close, shadowing over Techs shoulder watching him play his hand. Light conversation had started between the three of you. The conversation started with the rules of the game and slowly melted into you talking about your unfinished schooling.

“Well I don’t know if I should trust you on the field anymore doc!” Wrecker snorted. The contagiousness of his laughter put a small smile on your face. You were now grinning at him from behind Tech’s shoulder.

“Trust whatever you want big guy, just don’t expect me to save your ass on the field next time” your words laced with playful sarcasm as you sipped on your drink.

“And hey! What’s stopping me from walking over there and giving away your cards to tech!?” A sound between a laugh and a scoff erupted from you as you set your drink down.

Tech only smiled and watched the interaction before speaking up.

“She’s more qualified than you” Tech nodded, putting a card down. His affirmation drew a smile from your lips.

“See! I love to see the support,” you waved your arms at tech before giving him a friendly pat on Tech’s shoulder.

“And it’s not even just about what I can do on the field- I’m knowledgeable in psychology and chemistry too,” you chest puffed in proudness. Wrecker only gave a playful huff,

“You were educated in psychology?” Tech inquired.

“You’re surprised? It IS a requirement for medic schooling” you adjusted your stool slightly to be in the middle of the two boys rather than behind tech.

“Not necessarily surprised, I’m very aware of your capability. It’s just that -as a clone- I personally didn’t take many psychology classes. My studies were more directed towards computer sciences and database management. Then again, I wasn’t taught to specifically specialize in the medical field.” Tech spoke, you only nodded,

“So what you’re saying is, doc is a smarty” the loudness of Wreckers voice could almost throw you off guard, luckily you’ve spent enough time around him to be used to his volume.

You smiled at the statement,

“Of course” you smiled,

“How about a lesson?” You tilted your head toward Wrecker.

“I’m interested” a short response, but very much expected from tech.

You thought about what piece of information you could tell them. Searching your brain for a piece of knowledge the two of them didn’t know.

“A quick lesson on the tooka-bell experiment” you said,

The boys continued playing while you spoke, still listening to what you were saying. Acknowledging your voice by giving short nods,

“The tooka bell experiment was a conditioning experiment in tookas. About how a bell could get a natural reaction out of a tooka.” You started,

“When a tooka is fed, they salivate-“

“Like slobbering!” Wrecker interrupted.

“Yes,” you smiled,

“Like slobbering” you nodded before continuing to your lesson.

“A scientist would ring a bell every time he fed the experimental tooka. The tooka began associating the bell with receiving food. One day, the scientist accidentally rang the bell without having any tooka food prepared. The tooka began to salivate thinking it was going to be fed.” You finished.

“Ah, I get it. It’s a simple process of contidioning a neutral stimulus to get a response” tech nodded grabbing some cards from a deck that was set out on the table.

“Precisely” you have a curt nod, finishing off your drink.

“Uhhh, I don’t think I get it” Wrecker shook his head.

“It’s unconscious learning through repetition. For example: you and omega get mantell mix after every mission. Mantell mix and the end of a mission are two completely unrelated things. But because it’s become a tradition for you and little Omega, it would feel weird not to get the mantel mix at the end of a mission. Does that help big guy?” you gave him a glance followed along with a smile.

“I guess…” he slowly nodded.

The game of sabacc slowly wrapped up. It was quite late, there was a mission tomorrow and everyone had to get a good nights rest.

The cards were neatly put away and the drinks were discarded as the glasses were set to be cleaned.

You said you goodnights to Tech as you turned to say goodbye to Wrecker”

“Hopefully you ain’t doin’ that to us.” He let out a chuckle,

“Doing what?” Your head tilted.

“Training us subconsciously or whatever, I mean, the only dud who’d fall for it is Echo” this time he gave out a real laugh, one straight from his stomach. He ruffled you hair before walking off.

He was right though, Echo would totally fall for it.

Training was a strong word, but hopefully Echo wouldn’t mind. You had a strong plan made up, you grinned to yourself before walking to your own sleeping quarters.

.

The next day was mission day, something about extracting some goo from rocks or something. You really didn’t remember- or care.

Today also marked the day of your experiment.

You found yourself sitting in the front of the marauder, preparing to go into light speed.

“Hey Echo,” your voice soft and sweet, he was unsuspecting.

He let out a small ‘hmm?’ Before looking at you,

“Could I get a kiss before light speed?” You batted your lashes at him, you leaned your weight on the armrest, pushing yourself toward him.

“Of course” he smiled before kissing you.

The kiss was sweet and soft, much like echo himself. Although it didn’t last long, it was romantic and all that you needed in a kiss.

You smiled at him through your lashes before sitting back in your seat properly and jumping to hyper space.

.

The mission went fine, almost like any other. During the mission Echo had told you he ‘wouldn’t mind getting more kisses from you.’

It’s almost like he could read your mind, because for the next five missions you’d always find him right before hyper space and give him a kiss.

You started off by tapping his shoulder and politely asking for one, to just leaning over to him and giving him the kiss.

He never once missed a kiss, who was he to deny your request?

In fact, he must’ve gotten so used to it. For the next handful of missions or marauder trips, he would initiate the kiss right before hyper space.

That was your plan, because after around ten hyper space jumps, giving you a kiss before hand seemed to come natural to him. You had him right where you wanted it.

.

One afternoon before the batch and you were set to return back to ord mantell, you had called Tech and Wrecker to talk to them in the marauder.

“What is it that you required?” Tech asked, setting down his datapad.

“You boys remember the conversation we had a few months ago? About conditioning?” You spoke, mostly directing your question towards Wrecker.

Tech only have a curt nod and Wrecker grumbled something about ‘totally understanding what you were talking about’.

You gave a smile,

“Right, well, You told me Echo would fall for it, yeah?” You nodded your head, smiling while gesturing to Wrecker.

“I guess I did say that,” wrecker rubbed the back of his head, not fully remembering the previous conversation the three of you had.

Tech, who finally started to understand where this conversation was growing shook his head before speaking,

“You didn’t” he said,

“Oh I did,” you were now grinning ear to ear,

“Before we go into light speed, watch what echo does” you laughed, before walking over to the cockpit of the marauder.

.

You were now buckled into your seat, Tech and Wrecker looking into the cockpit for the interaction about to go down.

“Preparing the jump to hyperspace” you announced, putting your attention to some buttons and levers on the control panel.

You were purposely putting your attention away from echo,

As if on queue, echo pointed his head towards you, his eyes still focused on whatever he had had in his hands.

His lips puckered and ready for a kiss,

He sat like that for about five seconds -which doesn’t seem like a long time, but when you’re sitting there, full duck lips, it feels like an eternity-.

You saw his actions from the corner of your eye, still focused on the control panel. You gave a sly smile, attempting to hold in your own giggles.

Echo blinked a few times before realizing you didn’t kiss him, and you weren’t going to.

Heat rushed to his face as he leaned back into his chair,

Maker he must’ve looked so stupid -not to mention desperate- just sitting there with his lips puckered expecting a kiss from you.

He looked around in embarrassment to make sure nobody was watching, upon looking behind him he found two heads peaking into the cockpit.

Tech must’ve only found this slightly amusing because he only gave a smile,

Wrecker on the other hand, burst out into laughter. The sound of Wreckers laughter had let you know the bit was over, you too started laughing.

Echo was unamused and embarrassed. His cheeks were slightly flushed and his face flat, he didn’t find it funny. Your laughter and giggles made him realize that this was your plan all along,

Your giggles died down before you gave him a light pat on the cheek before jumping into hyperspace.

[crying-fantasies]

Retrospective

Masterlist

Maybe it started as curiosity, in the way you look like him or in the way you look scared of him to some point, well, scared for him, concerned by his wellbeing while you call him "idiot" when Ratchet has to fix his arm again.

"What is the big idea? You could get killed" there is anger more than anything in your voice, he didn't even care before but now you are the one putting your little hands on the deep dent on his side to take debris out of the harder places.

How forward!

Maybe Ironhide was right, Sideswipe will never say it in front of him, maybe you really are a human of science! and that could explain your interest in how to heal or patch wounds of the battle, or your interest in different mixes of energon, or your peculiar (almost evil) laugh while reading translated datapads.

Now, if it were any human he would think how stupid there were to try and understand cybertronian technology or try to adapt to it, but you and the other humans coming and going in the ark were trying to read glyphs, you were trying to understand their culture.

You were quite the strange one, and he was getting worried by the time you gave to your "human studies" and the time for your "alien studies", Sideswipe told you that calling them aliens was rude and you gave him a whole presentation of how you were right and he still doesn't get what power can get a point.

"So, how it goes?"

"We are both alien species to one another and it's fine"

"Good, there is nothing wrong in calling me or you alien, because is at some point correct"

"I still don't like it!" You weren't happy but you let him have it.

An you were strange, even for humans, any other human would've turned away from them when the chance was there, you latched onto Ratchet and Wheeljack in your seemingly neverending desire to get information that led you to an explosion, surprisingly Wheeljack wasn't there and it wasn't his deal, you were knocked out and there was energon everywhere when Sideswipe looked for you, turns out, you wanted to make energon goodies, snacks, candy, and your first good batch was given to him, it wasn't exactly good or bad, but it was the most flavored thing he got since the beginning of the war and he was grateful for it after years of almost tasteless but survival required basic energon.

Your knowledge was power, maybe not a physical one like his, one that made you pinpoint different things on his own performance, in the way he was fighting, and while he didn't like the comments he was still happy to show off in front of you while punching a Decepticon in the faceplate, you're all worked up giving him, supposed, praises with your little arms moving around, "-Behind you! there is another one, stop smiling like a dope and LOOK BEHIND-!!"

Maybe it was the kick at the back of his helm or the way you were concerned about him, your precious notes flying around because you didn't close your little bag, almost falling down ungracefully to get to him when his brother finally appeared to give him a servo, but since that moment Sideswipe started to see you different even when you were spouting quite colorful words.

Sunstreaker laughed at him, but, for once, he didn't care.

He was way more focused when you, once again, took the matter on your hands while Ratchet guided you to repair the little crack on his helm.

"I'm fine with little things on the arms or legs, the head is way more delicate!" Did it hurt him your refusal? It did, because you were doubting your abilities, and Ratch was there! So he was super confident when he told you: "Come on! Doc on the building!" And let your hands roam around one of his most delicate circuits.

You almost failed midway, letting Ratchet end the repair, still, you took Sideswipe servo on your little hands, or it was most accurate to say he had your hands on his servo? You were deeply sorry, more than what you should feel, even if you only said it once, but he was grateful for your intention and how you stayed with him for the few minutes it took to repair him.

It didn't hit him as fast as that decepticon, but during the night cycle he was still thinking of your little hands, soft and warm, you were probably recharging, sleeping, already, and in all honesty, Sideswipe felt stupid for thinking about that so late.

Then, while searching for the things he, purposely, hided from you to get your attention, you let out a "I didn't think this would happen even outside of there" you were sad, Sideswipe didn't need to be the brightest bulb to notice it, and when he asked you he didn't really thought you would answer giving how skittish you were with your own life out of the Ark.

Your words stung deep, and he just let you rant, all you wanted to say to feel lighter was good even when he felt fury on his own spark, he only kept you seated on him, surrounding you with his arms, letting you take rest on his frame, you didn't cry and he was grateful, he didn't know how he could answer with you cries and the guilt of hiding your things, of course, he didn't know, but he had already put so many things everywhere, telling you about the exact places would be way too evident and he didn't want you anger pointed to him, even if for him it was a joke, a way to get you out of the endless books and information that you devoured.

If he wanted to take you car racing you said: "Not now, I really need to finish this"

If he wanted to talk you would say: "Sorry, I'm pointing the most important parts" while you were painting all your book with that marker.

If he wanted to even have a moment with you: "I can't, I need to submit this before the deadline" he was mad at you, at the fragged computer for taking your attention away and almost making you faint of exhaustion.

Sideswipe has seen humans more than once now that he is on Earth, and in comparison it's obvious to say you don't look healthy, so he continued to hide your things, now only the ones you said were from school, just so you could get to recharge while he "searched" or to spend more time with you perched on his shoulder armor.

He wasn't exactly deep on it, before he noticed the way you always found your way to him, and he asked himself if this was how everybot had a human companion, he rubbed it on Sunstreaker's face more than once while he prompted Sideswipe to clean himself because the human left fingertips on you, gross.

Movie and game nights came along, whatever was dragging your energy away over for a moment and he was oh so grateful, learning about monopoly made his helm hurt but he basked in your voice explaining the neverending rules, movies were his favorites so far, some got really good explosions and stories, you called him "action movies simp" or whatever, but one day you looked way too happy while showing him a movie with very heavy atmosphere, not in a bad way like the scary ones, it was most like "Why are those two humans so near?" He didn't get the real deal so fast, on why humans had their intakes, mouths, pressed so hard, and he asked if they were fighting, you laughed.

"It's a kiss"

Maybe Sideswipe should had asked you? frag, maybe even ask Jazz or even Ratchet before entering human internet and falling down a hole of human sentimentalism and depravation.

A kiss, he noticed from his investigation, is a very human thing to express love or sexual arousal, even both, and that was so alien as it was strangely hot, he wanted to try, like the people on your movies, who kissed after a long time separated or after surviving an apocalypse, he looked at you, figuring out how to ask, it was better to ask a human who may have the information for it, and you seemed to know everything!

"A kiss? No, nothing of that!" You were red, like the color of your blood, like the colour of his armor, and, deep down, that you didn't know about kisses was in some way something that made his energon lines hotter and he was more than sure his faceplate had the color of energon.

Then, the next thing came, marriage, humans has something similar to conjunx ritual and he was flabbergasted for a second.

"It's not so different" you said after hearing his very lacking explanation and writing down on a notepad you had near, Sideswipe had you cushioned on his neck cables with your blankets around, he was near to recharge while resting on his back, "so holding hands or hugging, been very physical is the start, then you are really sincere, and you gift things to finally seal the deal" you laughed and he smiled by the sound, "you bots are really fast, we start dating or living with one another before going to marriage"

Your conjunx ritual was called marriage, what a funny word, Sideswipe recharged on the floor with you at his side, having a servo over you.

"You two are pretty much always together" some bot said, and it was in that moment that it hit him, almost several days later, when he noticed that, hey, they were right.

You two were always together like a pair of junxies, Sideswipe laughed, how ridiculous was that! It was impossible in every way! Even when your hands have been on his a lot, or when you talked to him about your most deep secrets or...

...

Sweet Primus-

No, no, no, he needed a moment to think, it was impossible, you weren't even aware, how was it possible? It was utterly impossible for a human to be approaching him in such a way-

"It's a paper crane, I bought the paint because it reminded me of you and I made and folded it myself, making paper isn't so hard when you know how-" your explanation went on and on, and Sideswipe would've been happy to hear you till the end if his processor wasn't burning already.

Like, holy frag, no, HOLY FRAG.

What was he supposed to do? What was he supposed to say? You look at him expectantly, waiting for an answer, and he needed to think this well, in what he was getting himself into while his spark pulsed so hard, so wild, not even his best battle so far made him feel this way and oh Primus his cooling fans are overworking and his frame is heating, what is he going to do? Where is Sunstreaker to help him?

"I like it"

Where is Sunstreaker to slap some sense on his processor? Primus damnit, that response was awful and lame.

But, lame as it was, it made you smile.

Maybe it really wasn't part of conjunx ritual, frag, it never was, by he knew that humans don't get married from the get go, they wait, they "nurture" feelings, and he did his own part, it took him cycles on end and way too many failed attempts, but he felt prideful when his digits managed to create something for you.

Just to have his brother destroy it in front of him.

Sideswipe gets it, Sunstreaker is worried for him on his very own shitty way, it still doesn't make him less angry but maybe grateful for seeing the paper crane in one piece, it's a gift, one he wants to keep closer and safe, made from scratch, something you did with him on mind.

He'll talk with Sunstreaker, he knows where he is getting and, while it wasn't unheard of spark split brothers to share a same conjunx it certainly was no record of a cybertronian and a human, let alone two, but Sunstreaker can still find love, Sideswipe has faith on his brother (as in a joke because he, as his twin, can hardly put up with his narcissist tendencies), they don't have to share everything because he knows Sunny doesn't feel like that with you, so he has been sure to keep his feelings to himself, not using the spark bond they share as brothers and keeping all his outbursts to himself, he could stay here with you, have something in a possible future.

One that maybe will never be, because Sideswipe waits for you, a new hair clipper on his servo, this time more colorful, drops of paint seem to be an expression of art he still doesn't exactly get, waiting for you to come along the next cycle, or the next after that, or some other one.

But you aren't there.

When he knows why, Optimus himself has to stop them from tearing one another apart, and convince Sideswipe that you are probably fine.

From that, it has been an earth week.

Your little pedes, feet, get off him, taking you to the store he just parked in front of, Sideswipe now knows the address and even the postal code of this place, it's apparently your favorite to get little things made of dead plants.

"It's cheap and good" and by the amount of things you used on a daily basis he understood your need to be frugal, he still didn't get how great little sticky colorful papers were, but you beamed in relief when you got those, your usual tired face plate, face, had a breath of life returned, and he felt your enthusiasm while you showed him your usual sticky notes, this time with the form of stars.

Stars don't look like that, but he'll shut his mouth in order to let you have this moment of happiness.

"It's limited edition, can you believe it?"

"Looks good!"

"Sides?"

If Sideswipe had been driving he would've stopped cold dead on his way, you were still unaware of his brothers voice on his internal comm link while you are now talking to him about a new book.

"Sunny! You're up early, where's the fire?"

"Where are you now?"

Aw man, he really thought he had more time, recently Sunstreaker saw in human television about "Beauty naps" and was trying it, Sideswipe took that like an advantage and got to see you, picking you up from your education facility, at first you turned him down, but then again, you wouldn't have to pay public transportation.

It was a blessing, he almost lost you when Sunny was cold enough to try to make him be a bad guy, but he got to see you, every single day, and maybe it was too much to you, Sideswipe does confess that hunting you down town on his alt mode was less than ideal with all and your screaming, someone even called the police on him, but he got you inside his cab with such a good move he wished it was recorded, he wanted to talk to you, know why you simply just disappeared for so long without saying something! Not even leaving a sticky note in form of a kitty with information of your whereabouts!

Do you know how big boss Optimus is worried about you? Or Ironhide? Tracks? Everyone? Him?! Have you thought about his poor spark before just going MIA?!

Apparently that was enough to have you look at him with anger, one that made him stop completely, Sideswipe has seen you angry before and has been victim of your silent treatment more than once, like that time when you got a bad grade or when he accidentally ripped off one of your books.

This was different, and he could say you were fearless when you called him a "fragging liar, scrap of the world, son of a glitch, I believed in you!"

Yeah, Ratchet told him and Sunstreaker to don't say bad words in front of the humans, but not even in his wildest dreams did he thought of such colorful words getting out of your normally sweet mouth, nor the obvious hatred your eyes were shooting at him.

For a moment, Sideswipe could feel cold and terrible despair.

You shouted, he tried to placate you, you started to cry in silence and that was way worse than your loud fury.

"I told you about it and you told everyone, right?"

"Look, I need you to listen to me for-"

You hit him.

You slapped his servo away when he tried to touch get you near.

And it almost makes him say sorry to you even when it wasn't his fault.

Sideswipe has never seen you cry, not like this, and he doesn't know what to do because he has never cried, not even when his life was shit on his town of origin, not even when Sunstreaker almost left him to go to Earth or when everyone else just thought his brother was better.

But he felt way to near to tear up when you touched your hand in pain, recently noticing the results of your action, it was bounded to hurt since he was made from living metal, you were crying, you were in pain, and that almost made him cry with you.

"It wasn't me" he starts, maybe looking and feeling worst than he really is, you are crying and he doesn't want to cave in on the fear of you walking away to never be seen again because he knows that, in case you really tell him so, he will do it, he'll never go out looking for you again if that's what you want and that scares him so much because he still wants to be at your side, "I swear, I never told anyone, it's just me and you"

Me and you, those words holding more feelings that you could've ever imagined at the moment he said it.

Sideswipe doesn't want to, out of camaraderie or whatever, but he tells you the truth, and now you have a resentful tone and angry expression when the name of his brother is mentioned.

"It's a relief" you said later while, on your own volution, taking place on his driver seat, your little hands on his interior, a smile that took his worries away, "I thought I lost a friend"

It hurt to some degree, yeah, he knew, Sunny has been very adamant on what he said before, he is only a friend for you.

But that can change, he has been watching human culture with the older bots, he was getting real information on human paring process with human TV.

Humans startr as friends and then goes a they were roommates and then a human wedding.

It's an objective on mind and while Sideswipe isn't know for his patience, which is killing him, he is trying to take a little longer to give you the hair clip.

But not even all his patience can prepare him for the force of his brother.

And Sunny is so going to beat him.

"Sideswipe you are with the fleshy, aren't you?"

"I mean" he finally answers, you look so happy with the things on your bag, "we went out to buy some... Rations?"

Sunstreaker laughed, dry and angry, "So I'm here working, with one human on my cab and you go on a date-"

"It ain't a date! And what do you mean you've a human?" Sunny wouldn't let a human enter his cab and no human in base would get in his cab voluntarily, not without an order from boss bot, that only meant something was happening and that made Sideswipe accelerate without even realizing it, straightening your seat and security belt, "Sunny, where are you?"

"Oh well, since you abandoned me I'm moving one of the humans when it's supposed to be your work, and it sucks, do you have any idea how-?!"

There is an explosion, and Sideswipe can't hear his brother, he can't feel him for a dreadful second that prolonged way too long, you have to hold to his steering wheel to prevent an impact while asking him what's wrong, for once Sideswipe doesn't answer you before getting all his energon and burn it to reach the base faster.

Sideswipe has always been prideful on making you see all his good, show you that he is almost invincible even when he is being trashed by his enemy, still getting on his pedes by himself and flashing you a smile, maybe leaking a bit of energon from a nasty dent, but still the strongest bot you'll ever see.

When he let's you see his broken image when others tell him: "Sunstreaker didn't make it" in the worst day of his life, you only take seat next to him, he is so quiet in the now so big habsuit he shared with his brother, for some reason he has his chest open and, for the first time, you see his spark, you ask him what's he doing, he doesn't say a word, and you let him have this, maybe is a way to mourn the dead, and while Sunstreaker wasn't your favorite bot at the moment, you were with Sideswipe in this.

It almost made you jump from the scare of his movements when, two days later, he moves from his seated position, shouting as if he is fighting someone, then he shouts again, Sideswipe looks at you, then he raises you above a few meters, a happy grin on his face, "He is alive! He is fragging alive!"

You don't even have a moment to ask a "what?" when he kissed a side of your head and leave you there, saying something about returning with his brother and Hunter by dinner time while you see him change to his alt-mode in a hurry, burning wheels on his way.

He takes 5 days in reality, he ends up dragging back a pretty injured Sunstreaker and all your anger goes down the drain when you see the bot like that, Hunter is nowhere to be seen but he appears later on, or that's what you believe at first while Sideswipe apparently expects you to praise him and his stupidity to go head first into danger, again.

"Did I surprise you?"

"Why didn't you call for backup?"

He laughed at your angry tone, he was leaking energon, bullet holes on his armor, you don't have to ask to know it was a human's doing, he is missing an optic and you would be so much erratic if you didn't know he could get another one.

Sideswipe gets on your level, extending a servo out for you, there is a hair clipper there, "Here, for you" maybe he wanted to tell you something, but Ratchet is already dragging him away to receive treatment, you don't know why so many bots go there or why they also take Hunter.

You don't ask, and that was your mistake.

Sideswipe's repairs took way less time than Sunstreaker's, who was angrier than usual while his brother was flexing his good as new arms in front of you both, Sideswipe had this strange habit of putting you near Sunstreaker, telling you to call him Sunny just like him, and that was scary on it's own way because you understand that the golden mech doesn't want to do shit with humans around for the time being or forever, no one explains, and you should have asked.

[antianakin]

So if I pretend this season exists in a vacuum, I can see how people would argue it's better written. From a purely structural standpoint, for now at least, it's far less episodic and has figured out how to write a longer arc while still having each episode deal with a separate sort-of "adventure" that moves the plot forward. Cool, great, love that.

Except that it's STILL a terribly written show because the character moments here require me to forget a lot of what was established in prior seasons.

"I didn't know what I was getting into with the Empire." Yes, he did. He very explicitly knew exactly what he was getting into. He REMOVED HIS OWN CHIP and stayed with the Empire ANYWAY. He knew exactly what they were and how they were controlling him and STAYS. By season two, you could perhaps argue that he stays because he doesn't think he has anywhere else to go and this is the bed he's built so he may as well just lay in it as long as he can, but he's still the one who built it and is choosing to lay in it, so that doesn't line up with "I didn't know what I was getting into." The whole POINT behind Crosshair's betrayal is that he DID know what he was doing and DID IT ANYWAY.

"I just wanted to be a good soldier." No, he didn't. He lays out exactly why he stayed with the Empire and it was for vengeance against the Bad Batch when he has the chip removed and realizes they didn't come back for him and takes that personally. He stayed in order to hunt them down as punishment for the perceived slight. By season two, again, you could argue he's staying because he thinks he has nowhere else to go, but that's not the same as wanting to "be a good soldier." It's closer, but not the same. And even if it were, it's not the ORIGINAL reason he stayed which is when the actual betrayal happens and therefore the more relevant motivation for this discussion with Hunter, the one Hunter was hurt by.

"No one knew what was going on back then." Yes, they did. Very specifically, ALL OF YOU KNEW WHAT WAS GOING ON. They figure out the chips in the PILOT EPISODE, Crosshair is a PART of that conversation even if his chip is partially activated at the time. And his actual betrayal isn't when the chip is activated anyway, it's when he REMOVES IT and stays in the Empire DESPITE knowing exactly what was going on.

Crosshair's betrayal is entirely intentional and done with his eyes wide open. He knew the Empire was hunting down innocent people and killing them, he knew the Empire was mind controlling the clones, he knew exactly what the Empire wanted from him, he just decides it doesn't matter to him because staying in the Empire gives him the opportunity and resources to exact vengeance on the Bad Batch for leaving him behind.

If I didn't remember anything about season 1, this scene probably works better. But I do in fact remember some stuff about season 1 of this show and none of it lines up with what was established about Crosshair and his knowledge and motivations back then. So this scene that is intended to be the emotional conclusion of this arc developing Hunter and Crosshair's relationship doesn't hit at all because they're asking me to just forget everything I know about why Crosshair did the things he did and why Hunter has every right to be upset about it and not trust him as a result. The Ahsoka show did this EXACT SAME THING, where they refuse to address the actual betrayal, the elephant in the room, because it's a lot more work if you do, and they're just unwilling to put in that amount of work in order to earn the emotional pay-off.

The last time Hunter even SAW Crosshair was on Kamino where they offered him forgiveness and he rejected it, went back to the Empire after yelling at them for leaving him behind or whatever. It's been months if not a year since then and the only other communication they've had with him was the warning he sent out that they VERY justifiably couldn't trust because it could just as easily have been a trap of some kind. Hunter has no REASON to trust Crosshair and has had zero time to believe Crosshair has had any kind of change of heart about the things he was so upset over a year ago. And yet instead of actually addressing any of that, the way Crosshair very intentionally hunted them down to try to kill them out of anger and vengeance, instead of truly dealing with the issues that tore them apart, they expect me to believe that the REAL reason Hunter's upset is because he's... * checks notes * jealous that he didn't get to save Omega?

This SMACKS of cowardice and laziness on the part of the writers. And they've ALWAYS been cowardly and lazy on this show, but this is why, even though the structure seems to have improved, the writing on this show is still SHITTY. Structure is important, but if your characters are off, the entire thing is a lost cause. And this poor shitshow has never had good characters to begin with, and that hasn't changed in this season.

[zoeykallus]

Howdy lovely!!

This might be a strange request but I’m just really curious about what the bad batchers would think about their S/O being a teacher for younger kids. Im a teacher for younger kids and I don’t think I’ve ever seen a HC about it. Thank you for looking at these requests and as always don’t do this request if you don’t want to or feel comfortable

💚 lots of love ~ Madison

Aloha, sweetheart!

Not a strange request at all, I think it's cute 😊

The Bad Batch x Teacher!Reader HCs - Teaching The Next Generation

Hunter

The moment he finds out how you make a living, he is hooked. He tries to imagine you teaching the kids, and just the idea warms his heart. Hunter himself can't quite explain why, he doesn't really realize he's a family man, but he definitely is. The thought that you're good with kids automatically makes you even more attractive to him. The first time he sees you working with children, he is excited. Working with children requires sensitivity and patience, two qualities Hunter appreciates and admires. He volunteers to come along on a field trip to help supervise and share some of his knowledge. Hunter is very nervous at first, but he quickly settles into the role of teacher with your help and enjoys being able to pass on his knowledge. The children may be skeptical at first because of his appearance, the face tattoo seems a little dark, but they quickly learn how kind and patient Hunter is, from him, they like to learn everything about flora and fauna, how to read tracks and survive in the wilderness if you get lost.

Wrecker

He is enthusiastic. Wrecker loves kids and the kids love him right from the first time they meet him. By now, they call him Uncle Wrecker when he picks you up from work. His playful, friendly nature goes down well with the little ones, and of course his appearance amazes the kids. Plus, he always has candy with him. You definitely have something in common when it comes to dealing with the kids; you have that certain sensitivity, patience, and sense of play and fun. Wrecker has respect for your work, and is always happy to lend a hand when you prepare special projects for the students. He talks about your work with pride when he talks about it with others. Wrecker thinks what you do is incredibly inspirational.

Echo

He has respect for your work. Echo feels that you have an important part to play in shaping and preparing future generations. It is a part of you that he finds very attractive, that you are so patient and full of sensitivity, which also benefits him in your relationship. One of your school children is dependent on prosthetics, much like Echo. When you notice how difficult the child finds it on a physical but also emotional level, you ask him to drop by in class. Echo is hesitant at first, but then agrees. Of course, he is stared at, but that is nothing new for him, and he doesn't really hold it against the children. The said child with the prostheses marvels at him shyly and Echo takes time for this child to explain that even with prostheses you are still a person, you can achieve everything you want if you only want it. "We are different, that may be, but we are not worth less. We are also allowed to have goals, dreams and desires. Look at me, I'm still what I always wanted to be, a soldier, and I'm good at it because I want it and work hard for it" The children gather around him and ask questions, and he answers them all patiently, showing and explaining the function of his prosthetics. You look at him gratefully, and he winks at you. Echo can always be counted on, and the fact that you admire him for what he is doing makes his heart beat faster.

Tech

"An admirable profession" Tech knows that patience and sensitivity are important, but so much more. Empathy, adaptability, and of course, a certain intellect. He admires you for that, in fact he's fascinated by your profession. "You should be a teacher, too, when the war is over," you suggest, hoping he'll consider it. Tech adjusts his goggles with his index finger and says thoughtfully, "A nice idea, I guess I have the know-how, but I suppose I don't have the sensitivity or empathy." You look at him in surprise and say, "You shouldn't underestimate yourself in that regard. I've already seen that you unexpectedly have a fine radar for things emotional, you just express yourself a little too directly sometimes." Tech thinks about what you said long after that conversation. On a visit to your class, he's talking to the kids and explaining his job and answering many other questions the kids bombard him with when you have to temporarily leave the classroom. At first, Tech feels very uncomfortable being alone with the kids. But when you return, he is engaged in a chess game with one of your high-achieving students and about to lose, the rest of the class set up excitedly around the two as if watching an exciting fight. Sure enough, Tech loses and says, "You win, young man. You know you're way too smart for your age?" The boy beams at him, revealing a few missing teeth. When you ask Tech, perplexed, "Did he really beat you at chess?", Tech just winks at you unobtrusively, conspiratorially, and replies, "Fair and square". You smile and say softly, "You should really consider changing jobs."

Crosshair

He is not good with children, but admires what you do. He feels uncomfortable around children because he can't do anything with them. "They're loud, ask nosy questions and grab at everything," he growls, rolling his eyes as you ask why he never picks you up at work. You can't help but laugh, whereupon he cocks an eyebrow at you. "What's so funny?" "That you're afraid of children." Crosshair frowns unwillingly. "I'm not afraid of anything" "If you say so" you return with a smile. Doggedly he looks at you, "Tomorrow I'll pick you up from work, at your classroom. What's the number of the room?" "201," you say, still grinning. When he picks you up the next day, he seems anything but relaxed. There are kids running around in the hallways, and his eyes are twitching back and forth as if he expects them to infect him with something deadly. But the children automatically give the gloomy-looking man a wide berth. You say gently teasingly, "Relax soldier, this is not a battlefield." He snorts, "I'd feel more comfortable on a battlefield." You chastely kiss his cheek and say, "Okay, you proved to me how brave you are. I won't ask you to pick me up here again". He looks at you, scrutinizing, as you walk side by side down the hall to the exit. Finally, he says, sighing, "But you'll be disappointed if I don't". "I didn't say that" "Your face said it" You shrug your shoulders and Crosshair finally gives in with a sigh, "Twice a week I'll pick you up here when I'm on site" You smile lopsidedly at him, whereupon he grabs your hand and growls, "You're going to drive me crazy, Kitten"

Ko-Fi (If you feel like giving me some coffee)

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[freesia-writes]

Chapter 5: Insight

During the Clone Wars, the Bad Batch is tasked with a variety of missions across the galaxy. An unexpected addition to their team throws a wrench in the mix, particularly for Tech, who finds a particular connection with this disillusioned Padawan-turned-mechanic named Vel throughout the events in this action-adventure romance.

COVER ART BY @zaana!! And this was my first fanfic ever, y'all! :D

Master List of Chapters

Another mission, another risky departure. This time, the hyperdrive wasn't working, and as a last resort, Tech asked Vel for help. Once again, she came through, in another impossible situation. The team was amazed at her mechanical knowledge. As soon as they had a break between missions, though, they had their orders to drop her off. But she had so much knowledge. All mechanical, delivered dryly and peppered with laments about her now-useless status to both the Bounty Hunter's Guild and the Jedi Order. After much deliberation, the team asked her to stay, as a ship mechanic, until she decided where she wanted to go.

At this point, it had been long enough that she agreed, having grown accustomed to the ship's little nuances and quirks. But it came with one stipulation: she wasn't to be a prisoner anymore. She had no reason to turn against them and she was grateful for their help, though still hopelessly jaded about her future and resentful about her past.

She fashioned some makeshift quarters in the hold, still dark but better than bars and a stark cell. She had no personal items except a pouch with some credits, a basic medpack, and the multi-use weapon that Crosshair had relieved her of upon her capture, which wasn't returned to her just yet. The ship was under constant need of repair or maintenance, so she worked frequently alongside Tech, as well as the others, depending on what was needed. She was quiet and efficient, grateful for the lack of conversation when she assisted Hunter or Crosshair and chagrined at the constant questions and thoughts that accompanied any project with Wrecker.

Tech, however, was hard to discern. He spoke factually -- only when needed and immediately applicable. He did sometimes tend to explain a single topic in far too much detail, but she found it preferable to any questions or conversation directed at her, so she didn't make any effort to stop it. She found her interests piqued at his different approaches to certain processes, and they both shared an endless curiosity for the various intricacies of the galaxy.

They spoke of past missions, of their childhoods and experiences. Vel divulged bits and pieces here and there, and Tech began constructing a mental map of her story. Born on a lush forest planet, she was taken to the Jedi temple as a youngling when her Force abilities had surfaced, but throughout the Padawan training, it became painfully apparent that she was insufficient.

"Diplomatically dismissed," Vel said, rolling her eyes and waving the spanner in front of her, "Although I'd just call it what it is -- I wasn't good enough."

Tech remained silent, considering the ramifications. He was lying flat underneath a control panel, welding some rough edges while she rerouted the wires to avoid damaging them. "I went back to my dad, but he had moved to Corellia," she continued. "He tried to hide his disappointment, but it was apparent. So he thought he could make me the best mechanic in the shipyard instead. He hired me out as an apprentice to every specialist he could find. I worked during the day and studied in the evenings." "It sounds quite intensive," Tech responded, momentarily pausing from the flying sparks in front of him. "He was trying to do whatever he could to make me useful," Vel answered, her voice tight to conceal the deep pain. Tech remained silent, keeping his thoughts to himself, partially due to the emotional precision required and partially due to the discomfort of the situation. He lifted the face shield to rest atop his head, patiently awaiting any further revelation.

"Anyway," Vel continued, clearing her throat and regaining an air of carelessness, "It was never enough. I made him so much money, got him known throughout the system for ship modifications, but I made one small mistake on a Techno Union transport, and he kicked me out."

She shared the story factually, as if it meant nothing to her, but the constriction in her throat was unmistakable. "His own daughter -- imagine that," she said, returning to her work with a clenched jaw. 

Tech felt deeply unsettled, not having much training on this sort of situation. He racked his brain, searching through the literature and studies he had consumed regarding human interaction and family dynamics before settling on his best attempt at encouragement: "The hardcell-class interstellar transport was a notoriously unique model, especially since it did not use conventional repulsorlifts for flight but opted for--"

"--rocket propulsion for atmospheric and stellar travel," Vel interrupted, "I know... Now."

"Ah," was his only response. He regarded her for a moment, and considered returning to his welding, but felt a compulsion to try again. He considered what she had shared, noting her body language, and decided on a different approach. 

"I am sorry that your father failed to exhibit the loyalty one would traditionally expect from a birth parent," Tech said. "I would posit that it had more to do with his own ethical shortcomings than your perceived incompetence. If I had been born in the traditional human method, I would likely feel similarly disenfranchised by a lack of a secure attachment."

Vel didn't expect to laugh at this, but a chuckle burst out nonetheless. First of all, she had never expected to be sharing her aches and pains with a random clone engineer, and second of all, she had never guessed she would be comforted by a factual analysis of her developmental psychology.

She looked at him, staring solemnly right back at her without a trace of sarcasm or judgment, and couldn't help but smile. "I don't even know what to say to that," she said.

"No response needed," Tech responded matter-of-factly, pulling his face shield back down and returning to his work. Sparks began to fly again, and not just in the literal way this time, yaknowwhaddimean? ;) 





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[cawyden]

Thoughts about clones and credits

Or in other words - are the clones being paid?

This is just based on „The Clone Wars“ and „The Bad Batch“ shows.

In the bad batch season 1, episode 1 we already have Wrecker mentioning credits - apparently he (and it seems Crosshair) had a bet running if Echo would survive the blow he received during the mess hall fight.

This could mean that Wrecker and supposedly all of them have a certain amount of credits to their disposal. Without any money they could have just betted without any reward or choose something non monetary.

Also it certainly wasn’t a serious bet (Echo wasn’t badly hurt apparently and I doubt that they would bet on this if he had been) so betting even a minor sum if they have no money at all would just add to the joke so it can’t be taken too seriously in this situation.

But we do see later (episode 4) that they have some credits which they use to bribe a dockworker to keep their visit/landing unofficial.

Tech is the one who finally pays but Wrecker knows that they are expected to pay credits (he even tells this Tech) but doesn’t use credits of his own. As they have clearly no experience with bribing and no idea how much to pay (Tech has to add more credits to his first offering) it seems more like Wrecker doesn’t have credits or only such a minor sum (e.g. 2 credits) that Wrecker immediately understands it won’t be enough - or he doesn’t want to spend his credits.

So we know they have credits - but it might be just a fund that the Republic provides in case they can’t access Republic supplies and not a salary. It might also be money that only special forces receive.

Tech might be responsible for managing their funds and distributing it to his brothers (maybe for things the Republic doesn’t provide them such as Crosshairs toothpicks - I don’t think the Empire provides them for him either but as commander he might still get a fund for missions). Tech is also likely the one having the overview which supplies might be required (from the Republic or bought from local sources) which might be why he is (maybe) in charge of finances (and he is likely fast in calculation and would notice if someone doesn’t return the correct amount of money, in addition to so many pouches to carry the credits….).

On Pantora (episode 4) Hunter knew the value of the explosive he wanted to sell, so they do have a certain knowledge about prices (just not for bribing). Maybe they had previously to buy or sell equipment and thus gaining knowledge about (usual) prices for certain objects.

But the bad batch aren’t like other clones - they are better compared to commando squads. They already have a certain special treatment that regular clones don’t have - they have their own barracks, own shuttle, some freedom in how they do their missions, etc.

If we go back to the clone wars we see Fives taking a taxi cab to get to 79‘s.

The cab driver doesn’t recognize Fives as clone at first. But when he does, he is still driving him. It is possible that he knows that clones get money and thus are able to pay for a taxi ride. Or he had until Fives came along never a clone passenger and not heard about it from other drivers.

He does know about 79‘s and that it is a clone bar. That he doesn’t recognize Fives as clone directly might be because he is usually not driving clones. Maybe he has brought non clones to the location (we see some of them at the bar in the same episode) or only heard about the bar from passengers or other taxi drivers. But then I would assume that he would have heard about not paying clones as well. It looks like either clones normally pay or he and other drivers usually don’t get clone passengers because they have other means of traveling to certain locations (such as 79‘s). Maybe more like a public transport (bus/train) for which the Republic pays for.

It is interesting that the driver says that he didn’t know that clones could have fun. Does he say it because he never had a clone passenger before and thought none of them would actually be in the clones bar? Or that they aren’t allowed to have fun? But why would there be a clone bar then? Or that clones aren’t capable of having fun? At least it shows that people aren’t really informed about clones and how they live. Based on this it seems that the driver doesn’t have experience with clone passengers.

At 79‘s Fives leaves the cab but doesn’t pay. The driver expects his money so the Republic is not paying the taxi drivers for transporting clones. So again, either clones have money and Fives just doesn’t pay or clones aren’t supposed to use these taxi cabs but instead other means of transportation that the Republic provides for them and the driver doesn’t know that. If the clones have money then a taxi cab might still be too expensive for them to waste their money on and thus explaining why they aren't often seen in taxis even if they get some kind of salary.

In a sarcastic reply, Fives asks the driver to „bill it to the Republic“. This was a joke as the reaction of his (drunk) brothers around him shows.

They tell the driver that he is the one paying for all this - likely meaning themselves and everything clone and war related with his taxes.

Unfortunately the question is still open - do clones get paid? Based on what is shown, we know some clones at least get some money, likely to help with the missions.

A salary, for all clones, is possible but I don’t expect it. The Republic didn’t had time to prepare for millions of clone troopers and they are already struggling financially with paying the Kaminoans for their services. Paying every clone a salary (beginning at time of graduation?) would have been an extreme task - and more expensive. They would need to decide the salary for all ranks, open bank accounts for all clones, to clarify what happens with the money if a clone dies -would a clone be allowed to inherit the money from an other clone? They might even have thought that with money at their disposal clones might easier desert than without.

Instead providing clones (limited) necessities like food, equipment, transportation, a place for R&R (like 79’s) would be the easier and faster way - and cheaper too.

It isn’t fair or ethical because it makes the clones actual slaves - but I can see the Republic going this way.

Hopefully we can still get some more insight into this.

[mariana-oconnor]

The Golden Pince-Nez pt 3

Last time I came to the decision - entirely logically and data-driven and not at all because he made an incredibly rude comment about one of his servants - that The Professor was a hack, his life's work is founded on a lie and he either commited or is complicit in the murder of Willoughby Smith.

I also came to the conclusion that he smokes too many cigarettes. (1000 a fortnight, you know over a year that's 26,000? And he's getting them imported from Alexandria? Guy has a problem.)

Stanley Hopkins had gone down to the village to look into some rumours of a strange woman who had been seen by some children on the Chatham Road the previous morning.

Was she stumbling around blindly, because I feel like with the prescription Holmes described, she's going to find it very difficult to get around on her own without her glasses.

I had never known him handle a case in such a half-hearted fashion.

Let's play: Is Sherlock bored, or does he dislike the conclusion to this story?

Even the news brought back by Hopkins that he had found the children and that they had undoubtedly seen a woman exactly corresponding with Holmes's description, and wearing either spectacles or eye-glasses, failed to rouse any sign of keen interest.

So she definitely exists and has been in the area. But Holmes doesn't seem to care about that, possibly because he already knows it must be the case and therefore this is of little concern.

He was more attentive when Susan, who waited upon us at lunch, volunteered the information that she believed Mr. Smith had been out for a walk yesterday morning, and that he had only returned half an hour before the tragedy occurred.

Man goes for walk. Vitally important information. It means that things may have occurred in the house without his knowledge, or that he might have been involved in something on his walk without anyone else's knowledge, such as meeting up with our lady with bad eyesight.

He was, indeed, a weird figure as he turned his white mane and his glowing eyes towards us.

Why are his eyes glowing? Eyes are not supposed to glow, Watson. Does he have tapetum lucidum? Is he a werewolf? Is he a demon? Has he finally smoked enough cigarettes that he has merged with the cigarette and now he is literally smoking?

Holmes stretched out his hand at the same moment, and between them they tipped the box over the edge.

Second recorded incident of Holmes knocking things off tables like a cat.

I don't know what the cigarettes have to do with all this. I feel like it's going to be obvious. The only idea I can have is that he's part of some sort of artefact smuggling ring and every two weeks he gets a massive batch of 1000 cigarettes but hidden in the package are antiques. But why would that affect his appetite? And clearly he is getting all 1000 cigarettes because he's smoking all day and night. And why would that require Holmes to smoke like fifty in a go before?

So there must be something in the cigarettes? Are the rolling papers money? Are the rolling papers ancient documents? But then he smokes them, so that makes no sense either.

“Yes,” said he, “I have solved it.” Stanley Hopkins and I stared in amazement. Something like a sneer quivered over the gaunt features of the old Professor. “Indeed! In the garden?” “No, here.” “Here! When?” “This instant.”

You solved it by knocking some cigarettes off the table?

^Holmes and the Professor, probably

I mean, obviously he has connected the dots, he's Sherlock Holmes and he is controlled by the almighty god-writer of his universe who's feeding him all the lines. But still. What can you work out from knocking cigarettes off a table? Did they fall wrong? Or was there something on the bottom of the box?

“A lady yesterday entered your study. She came with the intention of possessing herself of certain documents which were in your bureau. She had a key of her own."

So far, so not what I thought... this is not in keeping with my thoughts that the Professor dunnit.

UNLESS she was looking for evidence that he was a fraud and had previously talked to Willoughby about it, then when he refused to help her - loyal to his employer as he was - she took matters into her own hands.

Her possession of the key intimates that she has at one time had access to this desk. She's one of the previous secretaries that was let go for creative differences. Creative differences that were The Professor being a fraud, obviously (I refuse to believe this man has any academic ethics).

SO using the key that she kept after the termination of her old employment, she snuck in using her knowledge of the household and its schedule. The Professor came upon her and killed her, but knocked her pince-nez off and under the desk as he did so. No clue what he did with the body... put it in a crate of cigarettes?

THEN Willoughby comes back and asks if she came to see the professor, enquires about the allegations she made. The Professor says 'Oh no, dear boy. She hasn't been to see me, and she was a vary fanciful girl. You know what women are like.' Because he's a terrible person.

Then Willoughby finds the pince-nez, recognises them from his previous meeting with the lady and just as he's putting it all together STAB in the neck from the professor, but this time there isn't time to hide the body, the maid, Susan, is already there. the Professor hotfoots it away and leaves Willoughby there, forgetting all about the pince-nez still clutched in his rapidly cooling hand.

There are still some holes, and the cigarettes still make no sense and we have no body, so habeas corpus isn't exactly satisfied. We habeas pince-nez instead.

I could just read the story and find out, I guess.

I really want the professor to be a fraud. I want him to be totally discredited and disgraced. I want it so bad, you guys.

The Professor blew a cloud from his lips. “This is most interesting and instructive,” said he. “Have you no more to add? Surely, having traced this lady so far, you can also say what has become of her.”

This might seem like he genuinely doesn't know what's going on, because he doesn't seem worried. Or, per my hypothesis, he's just an arrogant bastard who's convinced he's smarter than anyone else in the room.

“I will endeavour to do so. In the first place she was seized by your secretary, and stabbed him in order to escape. This catastrophe I am inclined to regard as an unhappy accident, for I am convinced that the lady had no intention of inflicting so grievous an injury."

Really? Random lady we don't know did it? That would be very unsatisfying. 'Guy dies in room holding glasses belonging to the person who killed him' isn't a very intriguing murder mystery.

"She ran down a corridor, which she imagined to be that by which she had come—both were lined with cocoanut matting—and it was only when it was too late that she understood that she had taken the wrong passage and that her retreat was cut off behind her. What was she to do? She could not go back. She could not remain where she was. She must go on. She went on. She mounted a stair, pushed open a door, and found herself in your room.”

Ah, that's why the shortsightedness is relevant. Should have guessed that was connected.

This is where the Professor kills her and stuffs her under his bed right, then smokes a million cigarettes to cover up the smell of her rotting corpse?

(I'm grasping at straws, let me be)

“And you mean to say that I could lie upon that bed and not be aware that a woman had entered my room?” “I never said so. You were aware of it. You spoke with her. You recognised her. You aided her to escape.”

OK, that was like my... second theory last time? He's complicit in aiding the murderer.

Again the Professor burst into high-keyed laughter. He had risen to his feet and his eyes glowed like embers.

Demon professor

Y'know, if he went into higher education and got tenure.

God that show freaked me out as a kid. Could not watch it.

“She is there,” said Holmes, and he pointed to a high bookcase in the corner of the room.

OK, I know I suggested he was feeding her and that was why he was eating so much last time, but she's really been hiding in his room this whole time? Behind the bookcase? I guess she can come out when no one else is there, but she's just been living behind the bookcase this entire time?

...at the best she could never have been handsome, for she had the exact physical characteristics which Holmes had divined, with, in addition, a long and obstinate chin. [...] And yet, in spite of all these disadvantages, there was a certain nobility in the woman's bearing, a gallantry in the defiant chin and in the upraised head, which compelled something of respect and admiration.

Watson: She was ugly, but for some reason I still respected her. It was a very confusing situation for me. This has never happened before.

It's okay, Watson. We all know you're a shallow bitch sometimes and we love you for it.

“Madam,” said Holmes, “I am sure that it is the truth. I fear that you are far from well.”

Yeah, because she's been stuck in this room with the chain-smoker for over twenty four hours and he hasn't cracked a window. Honestly impressed she hasn't suffocated.

“I have only a little time here,” she said, “but I would have you to know the whole truth. I am this man's wife. He is not an Englishman. He is a Russian. His name I will not tell.”

Secret Russian! Did not see that coming. I'd ask if that's why the imported cigarettes, but he was getting them from Alexandria, wasn't he? Although there's probably an Alexandria in Russia, there were like fifty gazillion Alexandrias. Every time Alexander the Great stopped somewhere for the night, he called it Alexandria. Now there was a guy who like the sound of his own name too much.

For the first time the old man stirred. “God bless you, Anna!” he cried. “God bless you!” She cast a look of the deepest disdain in his direction. “Why should you cling so hard to that wretched life of yours, Sergius?”

You just said you weren't going to tell them his name? I get that's not his full name, but still...

Also, this does not seem like a happy marriage. Not least because no one seemed to know he had a wife and he was hiding her behind the bookcase. Not traditionally a good place to keep one's spouse. Although I suppose it is more original than the attic. Professor Coram/Sergius beats Mr Rochester on that point, I suppose.

“I have said, gentlemen, that I am this man's wife. He was fifty and I a foolish girl of twenty when we married. It was in a city of Russia, a University—I will not name the place.”

Thirty years is quite a big age gap... I feel like even at the time it would have been larger than average. Also, is she trying to hide things or could ACD just not be bothered to come up with a Russian sounding name?

“We were reformers—revolutionists—Nihilists, you understand. He and I and many more. Then there came a time of trouble, a police officer was killed, many were arrested, evidence was wanted, and in order to save his own life and to earn a great reward my husband betrayed his own wife and his companions."

Firstly, I have now decided that this story is the sequel to Oscar Wilde's play Vera; or The Nihilists. Also, he's a Snitch. I knew I didn't like him. We all know what snitches get...

“Among our comrades of the Order there was one who was the friend of my heart. He was noble, unselfish, loving—all that my husband was not. He hated violence. We were all guilty—if that is guilt—but he was not. He wrote for ever dissuading us from such a course. These letters would have saved him. So would my diary, in which from day to day I had entered both my feelings towards him and the view which each of us had taken."

So, she was maybe kind of cheating on him? Honestly, they both seem a little terrible. although they might have just been good friends. It's a little ambiguous.

Also, the name of the love interest in Vera; or The Nihilists is Alexis, so... like... Is this deliberate? Admittedly that's not his real name... sort of... but still.

“I must finish,” she said. “When my term was over I set myself to get the diary and letters which, if sent to the Russian Government, would procure my friend's release."

But would they though? Would they? Maybe I'm cynical, but are they really going to let one guy go from the gulag just because you sent some letters purporting to be from him saying 'no, we have to be nice little nihilists and not kill people'? You're placing a lot of trust in a government you literally were attempting to undermine and overthrow because you believed it was corrupt.

I'm just saying.

"With this object I engaged an agent from a private detective firm, who entered my husband's house as secretary—it was your second secretary, Sergius, the one who left you so hurriedly. He found that papers were kept in the cupboard, and he got an impression of the key."

So, I was right, one of the secretaries was involved!

Winning!

Also losing, but if you cut up all my theories and put them together you can sort of Frankenstein the right answer.

Still no explanation for the cigarettes, though.

She tore from the bosom of her dress a small packet.

I assume that this did not involve tearing her actual dress and she's not just standing there, tits out, from here onwards. I have to assume that, although the wording is very dramatic, I feel like that would be mentioned.

“Too late!” she said, sinking back on the bed. “Too late! I took the poison before I left my hiding-place. My head swims! I am going! I charge you, sir, to remember the packet.”

...

Anna, what have you done?

I have saved Alexis.

(There may possibly be 1 person who understands this... if that's you, hi! Thanks for existing.)

AND THEN, after she dramatically dies right in front of them from self-inflicted poisoning, there's a hardcut to them chatting on the way home.

"When you asked me to believe that she walked along a narrow strip of grass without once making a false step I remarked, as you may remember, that it was a noteworthy performance."

That does explain the grass, but not the cigarettes. Did you use the smoke to find the hidden room by looking where it blew?

"I therefore smoked a great number of those excellent cigarettes, and I dropped the ash all over the space in front of the suspected bookcase."

I feel like you didn't need quite that many cigarettes to do this. But also, dropping ash all over someone else's carpet is really rude. I know the Professor's a dick, but it's not like he's the one cleaning up after you. You just gave that poor housekeeper a horrible job and I bet she doesn't have a vacuum cleaner, and even if she does it's a manual one that requires pumping or something like that.

"...by upsetting the cigarette-box, I obtained a very excellent view of the floor..."

You definitely did not need to knock the cigarettes off the table to get a good look at the floor, Holmes. You have on several occasions in the past literally just fallen face first onto the floor to examine it without bothering to say a word. You knocked those cigarettes onto the floor because you wanted to.

"Well, Hopkins, here we are at Charing Cross, and I congratulate you on having brought your case to a successful conclusion."

Not sure how successful it is to turn up with an extra body rather than a prisoner, but I guess the killer found justice??

Not exactly what I'd class as success. But ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I guess.

Good for you, Hopkins!

"I think, Watson, you and I will drive together to the Russian Embassy.”

And Alexis was freed from the gulag, Professor Coram/Sergius died from complications due to smoking and his work was never complete, and everyone else lived happily ever after. Apart from the dead people, who were still dead.

Never would have guessed betrayed Russian nihilist wife trying to free her lover from the salt mines. But really, in hindsight it's so obvious 🤣

And the next one takes place in a famous university town. Is it Oxford or is it Cambridge, that's the question.

[photogirl894]

Hi ! Hope you're doing well ❤️

Just here for another request if you don't mind ☺️ I was wondering how the members of the Bad Batch would help/comfort the reader who's really stressed because of school (like a lot of projects to turn in and reader is stressed because they don't have motivation to work but know they have to) ?

Let's say I'm a bit in that situation right now (have a lot of work to do but no motivation even though I don't have much time to finish them) and I just need some comfort from the boys 🥺 have a good day/night ❤️

I'm so sorry to hear you're having a rough go with school 🥺🫂 I know it's hard! You've got this, love!!

How the Bad Batch would help you during struggles in school...

Hunter

He would know quicker than anyone that something is troubling you (enhanced senses and all)

When you tell him you're struggling with your schoolwork and just are lacking motivation, he asks if there's anything he can do to help

If you say yes, he'll do whatever you ask to the best of his ability

If you say no/you don't know, he'll go ahead and still offer words of encouragement as well as offer suggestions as to how to keep you motivated

"You've got this, trooper. I understand this is hard for you, but I believe in you. You'll get through this, I know it."

Echo

He'll bring you water and food to help keep your energy up when you tell him you're tired, but need to keep working on your project

If it's anything involving mechanics, he considers himself a bit of an expert in that field and would be glad to help if he can

He offers to stay with you and help keep you on task

He's good about keeping your morale up when you start to give up and encourages you to keep going

"I know you can do this. You're smart and hardworking. This project won't get the better of you because you're the best. Keep going!"

Tech

Of course, being the exceptionally-minded one, he's quick to come sit with you and offer whatever knowledge you require for your work

He tells you that taking breaks throughout your work is beneficial for your health so you don't experience burnout

He'll gladly offer assistance in making sure you're doing your assignments correctly

Not only that, but if he sees you've made any errors, instead of telling you "you're wrong", he'll explain how to find the correct answer and guide you so you can figure it out on your own

"If you give up now, you will surely fail, and failure is not in our nature. I shall endeavor to ensure you succeed, no matter what it takes."

Wrecker

He might not really know what it is you're working on, but he's willing to still do whatever he can think of to cheer you up

Lula suddenly ends up next to you and he informs you she's a good study buddy

Pats on the back and playful arm nudges are a must from him to let you know how well you're doing

If you happen to be studying anything about weapons or explosives, he'll get excited and offer to help you, as well...otherwise, he'll just direct you to Tech

"Studying and projects were hard for me, too. You're not alone. But don't worry, everyone moves at their own pace and you'll get to the end in no time!"

Crosshair

At first, he wonders why you're making such a fuss over doing work, but when he sees how tired and miserable you are, he has a change in demeanor

He'll sit beside you and ask, a bit calmer, what’s troubling you about your project

He's more of a tough love kind of guy; he'll tell you that moping around and not feeling motivated will get you nowhere

If it looks like you're faltering, he'll give you a nudge in the arm and make sure you keep at it

"I'm not going to let you give up because I know you're above this silly project. You're going to do great things...and I'm going to be there when you do."

I could've used these guys when I was in school, dang it!! 😆

[bunposting]

Should we assume you have issues with the popular pet rabbit YouTube channel “Lennon the Bunny”? I’ve always been fond of rabbits but she’s what got me more interested in them in the first place (I do not have any rabbits, but I did unfortunately write an entire little care guide based mostly off of things like what she says and what the House Rabbit Society and similar sources say) and needless to say, I am concerned. It seems like from what you’re saying rabbits are much easier to care for than that (at least in terms of diet and sociality).

I do have issues with that channel, yes. That being said, I know better than to expect anything more from a pet rabbit channel.

In terms of sociality, even HRS themselves admit that it's extremely dangerous to try to bond two intact rabbits of the same sex because the chances are high that they'll constantly fight or even kill each other. When they talk about bonding rabbits, they talk about at least one or both rabbits being neutered. Rabbits naturally have Raging Hormones(tm) and that can make tensions high between them. In the wild they would mellow this out by having the does being pretty much constantly bred or nursing, but for obvious reasons that's not really good for somebody just trying to have some pet rabbits. So it's much better generally to just let the rabbits have their own space and be on their own. They can get the social interaction they want or need from the humans that care for them.

In terms of diet... let me try to explain it this way:

Imagine if the largest/wealthiest dog advocacy organization tried to say that dogs absolutely need to be fed a varied, raw food diet, and if you don't feed them that, then that's abuse and your dog's guts are going to spontaneously stop working. We know a raw diet for dogs can be great, but the problem is that it means the owner of the dog has to do a lot of research into the exact nutritional content of various things, the nutritional requirement of their specific dog, and all the math that goes into it - not to mention they have to have the money to be able to buy all those things or the time to grow/harvest those things. Most people just aren't able to do that, which is why high quality kibble and wet foods have been created.

HRS is basically exactly like that. They give a (very flawed, mind you - the amount of fruit they recommend is absurd and dangerous from the high sugar content) basic outline of what percent of various things should be in a rabbit's diet. A large portion is hay, the second largest portion is "leafy greens" (which they just all lump together in one category despite different greens having different nutritive contents) and then pellets and fruit are equal in their 'small' percentages. It would take a considerable amount of prior knowledge about the nutritional qualities of rabbit-safe ingredients, and a very good understanding of your rabbit's personal nutritional needs, in order to really make this diet work. Most people just don't have that capability.

Again, just as we know raw feeding can be great for dogs when done properly, feeding your rabbit a varied diet can be fantastic! You just really have to know what you're doing before you get into. If you don't, you're very likely to see GI issues like bloat or GI Stasis.

HRS and followers of them such as "Lennon the Bunny" will claim that complete feed pellets cause bloat or GI Stasis. This is interesting, because the only time I've heard of rabbits having these issues is if they were accidentally fed a bad batch of pellets (which isn't super duper common) - and even then, it's mostly bloat; I've heard of maybe two cases of GI Stasis from breeder rabbits total. Complete feed pellets are not much different than feeding your dog a high quality kibble - they take the guesswork out of feeding your animal, and guarantee your animal is getting exactly the right nutrition they need.

Instead, I've seen way more cases of bloat and GI stasis in pet rabbits, especially those being fed the HRS recommended diet. It's very likely the cause is that they are getting to much of one thing or another (whether that be sugar or something else) because their diet just isn't consistent and isn't actually well formulated.

[ao3feed-techphee]

Caught in the Crosshairs

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/smwPRzN by DisneyFanatic Project Necromancer had failed to show the desired results. The emperor’s patience was waning and Dr. Hemlock was growing desperate. Desperation leads to mistakes. However, the mistake during CT-9904’s latest interrogation session required reviewing older projects—which not only preserved the clone’s life and the knowledge in his head, but also provided the missing link for transferring a life force between hosts. Words: 28755, Chapters: 3/?, Language: English Fandoms: Star Wars: The Bad Batch (Cartoon), Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types Rating: Not Rated Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Categories: Gen Characters: CT-9904 | Crosshair, Clone Trooper Tech (Star Wars), Omega (Star Wars: The Bad Batch), Clone Trooper Hunter (Star Wars), Clone Trooper Wrecker (Star Wars), CT-21-0408 | CT-1409 | Echo, Clone Force 99 | Bad Batch, Clone Trooper Characters (Star Wars), CC-2224 | Cody, CT-7567 | Rex, Ciddarin Scaleback, Kanan Jarrus, Original Mandalorian Characters (Star Wars), Domino Squad (Star Wars), Royce Hemlock, Emerie Karr, Nala Se, CT-6116 | Kix, CX-2 | Sniper CloneX2 (Star Wars), Phee Genoa Relationships: Crosshair & CT-21-0408 | CT-1409 | Echo & Hunter & Omega & Tech & Wrecker (Star Wars: The Bad Batch), CC-2224 | Cody & CT-9904 | Crosshair, Clone Force 99 | Bad Batch & CT-9904 | Crosshair, CT-9904 | Crosshair & Omega (Star Wars: The Bad Batch), Clone Force 99 | Bad Batch & Kanan Jarrus, Clone Force 99 | Bad Batch & Domino Squad, Domino Squad & CT-7567 | Rex, Phee Genoa/Clone Trooper Tech, Clone Force 99 | Bad Batch & Phee Genoa Additional Tags: Age Regression/De-Aging, Clone Trooper Tech Lives (Star Wars), Force-Sensitive Clone Troopers (Star Wars), Clone Force 99 | Bad Batch as Family, Soft CT-9904 | Crosshair, CT-9904 | Crosshair-centric, Domino Squad Lives (Star Wars), Clone Trooper Inhibitor Chips (Star Wars) read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/smwPRzN

[wuxiaphoenix]

Worldbuilding: Cleaning Up an Isekai

Part of the fun of any isekai is watching the characters try to find or recreate aspects of their home world they miss. (It’s truly amazing how many Japanese isekai worlds somehow have cacao for chocolate.)

Granted, if you’re working in a pure fantasy world, you can put what you like in it. But if you’re playing it in a harder mode - time travel, say, or a fantasy world based on our own history - you have to get a bit more creative. Especially when it comes to soap.

I know it’s worldwide these days, but soap as we know it (fats and oils saponified by mixing with potassium or sodium hydroxide, AKA lye) is a European cultural thing. Historians argue over whether the Celts or ancient Romans came up with it first, or if they both did. Given during the time period in question some groups on the Italian Peninsula were either Celts or mixed, I think the point is kind of moot.

What historians can mostly agree on is that soap got established, spread during the Roman Empire, took a serious hit during the Dark Ages, and rebounded from the Renaissance on.

Note that there are people who consider the Dark Ages’ reduced amount of bathing and overall hygiene as being due to a fanatical Christian preoccupation with matters of the body as evil. This view is at best ignorant. First, a key part of Roman cleanliness was public baths... which took a serious hit when epidemic diseases like smallpox kept raging through. Second, one of the major problems for everyone in the Dark Ages was finding enough calories. In straits like that, what would you do? Devote edible fats and oils to soap, or fall back on the less effective sudsy and otherwise inedible plants for cleaning? Third - soap-making requires specialized knowledge of how much lye and water to add to which specific kinds of fats at exactly what temperature. Not to mention how to treat the fats so they won’t go rancid before they’re soap, how to protect yourself from caustic lye, and how to tell if a batch gone wrong can be rescued with a little melting and tweaking, and when it’s safer just to throw the whole thing out.

These days we have written instructions, purified fats and oils, and online lye calculators, so your average careful person can make batches of soap at home. Prior to the printing press, most or all of this had to be in someone’s head. Lose a master and an apprentice or five in a Viking raid, lose even one critical step that keeps you from burning your own skin off, blinding yourself, or searing your lungs with the fumes, and soap-making goes bye-bye. No fanatics need be involved.

Which is bad, because besides the obvious morale boost of keeping clean, simple hand soap is one of the best low-tech antiseptics available. Bar none.

So a sane isekai protagonist with any knowledge of history is likely to want some. But how do you get it, in a culture that historically doesn’t have the practice?

Three options I see. First, figure out how to make it yourself. Risky but possible, if you have a lot of time and resources to dabble with. Second, and probably more practical, find someone local who works with the ingredients in soap (fats and lye) and try to explain what you want and what you know about how it’s made. Passing it off as “a tale from a mystical far-off land” optional. Third, see if there’s any way to make friendly or at least trade contact with a culture that does make soap. And bargain!

...Yes, these are all ideas I plan to use in Colors of Another Sky. There is a lot of modern medical knowledge Jason wants the people he’s with to have. Antibiotics would be awesome. Vaccines likewise. Yet those take time and knowhow he may not have or be able to leverage out of the surprising things cultivators know.

But soap? Soap may be doable. And handwashing saves lives.

A hero’s gotta start somewhere.

[copepods]

hey, I’ve heard over the grapevine that you’re a fan of Star Wars. I’ve only ever watched the first released movie and the first season of Mandalorian, but I would like to get more into it. However, I don’t know what order to watch the movies and all of the tv shows and extras etc etc. do you have any recommendations?

sure!

if you're interested in watching the movies, i'd recommend watching them in the order of release- A New Hope, Empire Strikes Back, Return of the Jedi, then The Phantom Menace, Attack of the Clones, and Revenge of the Sith, then The Force Awakens, The Last Jedi, and the Rise of Skywalker. some of the movies are definitely worse than others, but i'll leave it up to you to decide which ones you like more lol. if you want to watch shows, i'd recommend watching the movies first, since everything uses them as a basis. there's also Solo and Rogue One, which both take place in between the prequels and the original trilogy. you can watch those after if you want, or not at all if you aren't interested.

the Big TV Show in my opinion is The Clone Wars, which has 7 seasons and takes place in between AOTC and ROTS. the creator, dave filoni, is the big guy behind shows like The Mandalorian right now, so i'd recommend watching that first if you want a reference for some of the characters that appear in the later shows. of course, TCW is pretty freaking long, so if you don't want to watch all that there's plenty of watch guides on google that give you the most relevant episodes and what order to watch them in. if you give the show a go and don't like it, that's fine! it's not required viewing, it just gives some added context to everything that happens in later shows. it's also really really good, esp after the first 2 seasons.

there are a lot of other tv shows as well, and you can kind of pick and choose which ones you want to watch (or all of them!) but it's definitely up to you.

Star Wars Rebels takes place shortly before the original trilogy (ANH-ROTJ), so if those end up being your favorite movies, check Rebels out! the new Ahsoka series is going to be a sequel to Rebels of sorts i believe, so it'll give some context if you want to watch that too.

Star Wars Resistance is one that takes place during the sequel trilogy (TFA-TROS), so if you're a sequels fan, that adds some new characters and fleshes out the resistance a little more! i haven't seen it so i can't speak for its quality but there's not all that much supplemental content for the sequels, this is pretty much the big one.

The Mandalorian takes place after the original trilogy but before the sequels. if you're interested in watching more, go for it! it's not required, though. a lot of characters in the 2nd-3rd season are from Clone Wars and Rebels, though, so keep that in mind!

The Bad Batch takes place after the prequels, centering around some clones that made a brief appearance in The Clone Wars. if you want more clone-centric content, you might like this one! i haven't watched it for personal reasons (a lot of the clone designs were horribly whitewashed) but feel free to check it out.

Tales of the Jedi is a relatively new one, that adds some supplemental content to characters from mainly the Clone Wars and the prequels. episodes kind of span all over the timeline. it's relatively short, so if you like the Clone Wars, feel free to give it a shot!

Kenobi focuses on Obi-Wan, and takes place before the original trilogy. to my knowledge there's really not all that much stuff in here that comes from other shows, it's a pretty self-sufficient one. if you like obi wan (i certainly do), give it a try :D

Andor centers around a character from Rogue One and takes place before it. i haven't watched it yet myself, but i've heard it goes into a lot of deep and interesting territory about fascism and how the Empire works, and Rogue One was one of my favorite movies, so i'd definitely recommend it!

edit: I KNEW I WAS FORGETTING SOMETHING there's also The Book of Boba Fett! has characters from both the original trilogy and The Mandalorian, id watch if you're a fan of those :D

that's all the main stuff out right now to my knowledge! there's also a ton of books, video games, etc that i'm not even going to begin to list off, and then the whole Legends canon that disney retconned (which i know next to nothing about), etc. i hope this suffices!

[zoeykallus]

Hey. I absolutely love your stuff. I keep rereading it all. It's wonderful.

I have this idea and it won't go away. So, reader is just casually conversing with their respective batcher. Or just lovingly admiring them from a distance. Anyway, they just randomly say, "you know, I don't like your name. I think you should change it." And when they ask what, reader says "mine", and then just walks away.

I can see Tech or Echo going from hurt to flustered, or Cross from annoyed to smug.

This can be before or after they get together, and bonus points if it leads to some extra fluff or even smut.

Either all batchers, or one of the three above. Also, female or gender neutral please. I wanna know your take on this idea.

You're doing a wonderful job. Keep up the good work! Thank you!

Aloha!

I think I know where this is supposed to be going, I just don't know if this can work with a person that has no last name/surname. But let me see if I can make it work. Would you mind if I pick a One-shot with Tech?

Tech x Fem!Reader One-shot - I Don't Like Your Name

Fluffy/Flustered Tech

______________

For a while now you've been watching the guys from Bad Batch, occasionally you've worked with them. One of them in particular has taken your fancy, Tech, the pilot. He is different from the rest, calmer, more intelligent, more introverted.

He has quite an extraordinary mind, and yet he is incredibly oblivious when it comes to flirting. But maybe, you think, he just isn't interested and therefore doesn't respond to the flirting attempts.

It's time to find out.

You see him standing in the hangar working on the Marauder's outer hull. For a while you watch him thoughtfully from a distance, finally you walk up to him and speak to him.

"Hi Tech!"

He looks up from his work in surprise and nods at you.

"Hi. What brings you down here? Does Cid have another job for you that requires collaboration?"

You shake your head and say, "No, I was just passing by, saw you working and thought I'd say hello."

He blinks.

"Nice gesture."

Tech is about to turn back to his work when you tell him, "Somehow I don't like your name."

He pauses for a second, but then continues working and replies without looking at you, "My name suits me, I'm happy with it."

"Doesn't sound like much, though. Just 'Tech'"

He frowns, you can tell he's annoyed, but he remains calm nonetheless.

"What kind of name would be more appropriate, in your opinion?"

"Mine."

Tech turns to you and looks at you critically, "Your name wouldn't suit me."

"Why not?"

"It's a woman's name"

You smirk at him and say as you get ready to move on, "I meant my last name, Tech"

The reaction you get is once again different than you hoped or expected.

His brow is furrowed questioningly as well as critically.

"Clones don't have last names, I can't change my last name because I don't have one."

You stop, sigh, and turn back to him.

"Well, you are a clever fellow my dear, think hard, in what way could you possibly get my last name?"

Tech shakes his head, "Not at all, unless…. Oh."

He blinks several times, as if he needs to reboot his brain. You see his cheeks blush slightly, and a smile appears on your face, he had finally understood. You think.

"You're proposing to me?"

"Exac- wait what…?"

Now it's you who blinks.

Tech says, "Interesting. Even though I'm curious, and a certain attraction factor is very much present, I have too little knowledge of your person to respond appropriately to this proposal. However, I do have a suggestion, a temporary compromise, so to speak."

"Um, oh yeah?"

"Yes. Would you perhaps be interested in going through a get-to-know-you phase before we explore this topic in more detail?"

You feel yourself getting warm and not at all as confident as before.

"You mean dating?", you ask softly.

Tech nods, "That's the general term for it if I'm not mistaken, yes. Are you free tonight?"

Your heart beats up in your throat all at once.

"I-uhm, yes"

Tech smiles, a very beautiful and rare sight.

"Fine. Meet me back here at eight? I'd love to take you out"

"Okay, I'll be here at eight," you say quietly, still not quite able to believe yourself what just happened.

As you walk away again, you feel like you're walking on clouds. Your heart races, your stomach tingles. Tech has taken your cheeky flirting attempt out of your hands and asked you out. You're not sure if that was really a misunderstanding or if he had played you, but either way, you're very happy right now.

Ko-Fi (If you feel like giving me some coffee)

@rintheemolion

@andyoufollowyourheart @clone-whore-99

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@

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