#no pic with flake because i was talking and i look like more of a dopey idiot than i do in the others lmfao

[casablancarossa]

All I need is you.

<<an [18+] taemin x reader story>>

Pairings : Taemin x female!reader

Genre: Smut, Mini Angst. Extra Extra Mini Fluff

Content Warning : 18+, Minors DNI, Unprotected Sex, Implications of SelfHarm/Depression. Pillow Talk

Synopsis: Taemin was no-show which left you feeling pretty down and unwanted, but its Taemin and he will do anything to make sure you no longer doubt how much he wants you.

Authors Note: It's long, its steamy. So here ya go darlings. BTW, while this is a continuation of 'Please Amore', didn't realize I was going to write about mirrors again. With a man this good looking, of course he would have a inclination towards mirrors.

Also I refuse to be held liable for how long this post is.. I couldn't write one moment and suddenly I couldn't stop writing.. So Yeah.

God bless the metamorph concerts.. so many pics to use .

Enjoy Reading!!

"So... amore.."

Taemin's dulcet call doesn't even come close to budging you out of your position in bed. Poor guy is practically unprotected in bed as you had managed to form a cocoon out of the blanket and remained in there, huffing something about a forgotten date or plan, or something along those lines. His arms reach out, placing a hand on the soft covers, pushing it down far enough so that he could see your face.

You were far from impressed and it will take every inch of your being from being livid and if your boyfriend was not so damn adorable, you would have probably used the pillows and hit him repeatedly until its feathery innards exploded. "You made me wait like a fool... in front of the company building, no less." you hissed through your teeth. The cocoon you were in had finally exploded, chucking it towards Taemin, immediately walking towards the door.

Not even the beckoning meows of Kkoong stopped you from huffing and immediately dropping onto the couch, grabbing the throw to cover your legs.

"Y/n-ah, you know I didn't mean to bail" Taemin's voice called out from the bedroom. It was followed by the noises of slippers shuffling on the floor as he waddles out, now cocooning himself with the blanket. He moves towards you and really pushing the cute act, plopping down to lay on top of you. "I'm sorry..." he mumbles, burying his head on your lap.

"One night, Taemin. All I wanted was one night" you sighed, folding your arms to stop yourself from dropping an ounce of affection.

"When I get back from Japan, I promise, we can have a fully week of uninterrupted date nights."

"No point now is there", you huffed quietly.

Being in the same room as Taemin made your heart break, and the more physical distance there is between you, the better it is, letting the silence heal your wounded ego.

With Taemin's schedule suddenly ramping up since his concert and amongst TV appearances and being holed up in the studio, you had rarely seen him the last two weeks. Maybe three. Within that time period, Taemin had flaked out on maybe four planned dates. Two of which he planned himself, but at least you were at home and half ready, so it didn't bother you. Three if you included tonight, but this time you had gotten ready and stood outside SM's building for over an hour, and only got the text from Taemin saying there was traffic it'll probably be an hour or two before he gets home. When you asked for an elaboration, no response.

It wasn't like Taemin to not respond and you were too annoyed to rationalize his actions, immediately jumping to the worse conclusions an angry woman could possibly think of. He is either cheating, or he is dying, and the former seemed more likely in your head. Now, you know, Taemin wouldn't dare enter an affair, honestly you didn't think it was possible, but Taemin would always be upfront about missing things due to schedule because it was his way of facing accountability. It was no secret that he has picked his schedule over you at times, not intending malice, but he would often think these things would be done on time and he would be home in time for you.

Your eyes flicker to the clock on the wall as it quietly ticked. 2:15. It had gotten so late and it dawned on you that you had been moping for over 3 hours and Taemin had only walked through the door maybe an hour ago. "I'm going for a shower, then go to bed. You should sleep, you still have an early schedule tomorrow", you mumbled, shifting your body so that Taemin's head would drop on the seat of th couch.

His eyes followed your hunched figure making way to the bathroom, noting how hard you were trying to act casual. Act as if you weren't pissed at all, but he could see it in your face. How your lips curled down to a frown and your eyes seemed void of any emotion. Taemin quietly remained on the couch, waiting for the sound of water hit the floor. It puzzled the man that he didn't hear music coming from your end, usually your shower times would always have music in the background. The bathroom was your studio and you thought that the shower was loud enough to hide your singing, but this time it was silent. At that moment it clicked in Taemin's head that you were really not happy.

Filled with enough resolve to pull an all-nighter, Taemin would try to make you feel better, even at the cost of sleep. He might as well tidy up and create a cozy space for you, grabbing the plushies that were resting on the windowsill and throwing them to the bed.

As he was chaotically, setting out the comfy pillows and blankets, the string lights and the scented candles, Taemin noticed the mess of clothes, roughly kicked under the bed along with a pen cap. He thought of the situation as odd, investigating the clothes and noticing that it was one of the dresses he bought for you. White silk with lace trims and pen marks just at the hem.

Taemin put two and two together and dropped everything he was doing so he could sneak to the bathroom to see if his assumptions were correct. And it was. He managed to crack the door slightly and through the reflection of the bathroom mirror, he could see parts of your body, covered in pen marks, specifically in writing and he didn't need to read it to know the contents of it.

Often, during your 'low' days, instead of wallowing in sadness and damaging your health, you would write the demeaning thoughts that raptured your brain. The comments were harsh, hurtful and downright despicable, but they were words to yourself and usually at the end of the night, Taemin would carefully wash away those words, filling you with words of affirmation and making sure that you knew how amazing you are, how strong you are, how beautiful you are and how grateful he is to have a partner like you.

"Amore? I'm coming in.."

The voice snapped you out of your zombied state, looking up to see Taemin, open the door a bit more as he watches you carelessly scrubbing at your thigh trying to get the writing off. Your body spin slightly to hide yourself, you didn't want him to see you like this. In your head, you have been doing so well, but after being bailed on, your insecurities were set to over 9000 and with so many female idols professing their crush on Taemin, you suddenly felt unwanted.

The feeling of the warm shower felt nice against your skin, but Taemin's timid kisses on your shoulder had caught you off guard, suddenly feeling as if fire coated your body. "Don't take my job away from me", his husky whisper, caused the hair on your neck to stand and soon your body was shifted to sit on the edge of the bathtub next to the shower.

You looked up again to see that Taemin had not taken off his clothes, subsequently getting soaked, as he adjusts the shower head so at least the stream could reach your feet from where you were sat. His hands grabs the sponge and soap and began working on the space just above your knees. "If you had told me, I would have dropped everything..."

"I don't want to be that type of person who disrupts her boyfriend's schedule.."

"I don't care. If I had known that you had a bad morning, I would have re-scheduled everything for after Japan.."

"It's fine amore... It's just a stupid overreaction.." your voice was a low whisper barely audible but there was a hitch on your throat that let Taemin know, it was anything but an overreaction. In part, he could tell it was his fault.

"So what did you write?", he asks despite having already read the legible parts before he scrubbed it off.

"Oh you know.. the usual stuff.." you began, feeling at ease as most of the ink had faded, becoming illegible enough that you or Taemin couldn't read it. "..mostly, how much I hate you.", you finally teased.

"That's fair. You could hate me all you want. But, I still love you", Taemin beamed despite letting out a defeated sigh, his hands carefully massage your calves with much earnestly as his head lowers to plant a trail of kisses on your thighs.

"You sure? Am I not too.. much?"

"Never..." Taemin placed an arm on either side of you, propping himself up so he could kiss your lips, pushing a little harder at your reciprocation. "All.. I ever wanted.. All I ever needed is here in front of me", he breathes out slowly, staring at you as your foreheads press together.

"I'm sure... you have said that plenty of times.." you sighed defeatedly, pulling away so you could grab the sponge and continue scrubbing at your arms, bending it at odd angles to get everything off.

You were no stranger to letting Taemin be fully aware of your insecurities and fears. You have been together for a while now and maybe his enlistment helped you stay secure, but now that he is out an about, it kind of itched at the back of your head. You weren't conventionally the type of girl that Taemin had relationships with. He is deceptively close to a lot of the female stylists, and heck up until recently, worked with an ex until the end of the 'Guilty' promotions.

"Don't speak like that.. I hate that you think that you don't deserve being loved.. especially from an idiot like me". Taemin's words were so adamant and full of intent that it caught you off guard.

There was a moment of silence that clouded room and Taemin took the opportunity to rid your body from any more nasty words. You watched him closely still trying to decipher the faded letters on your skin, frowning as he makes his own assumptions and then frowning at you disapprovingly before leaving kisses whenever he successfully scrubs a bad word off. As he turns off the shower, you observed how clothes were sticking onto his body and you couldn't help but admire how he kept his physique.

Gods. I don't deserve you. You let out a scoff, laughing to yourself of how stupid you were feeling. But seeing Taemin look equally hurt, washed all those worries and anger that was directed at him.

He flashed an endearing smile towards you, crouching down so that you were at the same eye level. "Y/N-ah, I will spend the rest of my days, trying to show you how much I love you.. if you'd let me", his last words were cut off by him placing another kiss at your lips, settling himself in between your legs. quickly wrapping your legs around his waist so he could pick you up.

"Woah, woah wait, Taemin, I'm still drenched. We're both wet mops!" you squealed as your body get lifted from your seat, wrapping yourself around Taemin's torso, trying not to slip. See he was surprisingly strong. You had thanked Minho for that, and you weren't necessarily lighter than Taemin either, being on a thicker side but he swears he loves that about you. More to love, he says.

You both giggled like little school children as Taemin carries you back to the bedroom, while in your head you cursed yourself for needing to go back out to clean the trail of water droplets before it causes an accident. But by the time your body had been dropped onto the fluffy blanket that Taemin had set out, all thoughts had left your head. The room was surprisingly warm and warmly lit too. Your head tilted back to see the string lights had been set up and the smell of peonies and vanilla covered the room. You were so distracted, you didn't even see Taemin trying to herd Kkoong and Daeng out of the room as he closes the door behind him.

It didn't take long either, but soon you found yourself under Taemin as he crawls on top of you, staring into your eyes lovingly. He couldn't help but be mesmerized at how much you were like a ray of sunshine to him. He would never let anything harm you. Not even himself.

That being said, on closer inspection of your body, he could tell by the faint bruising on the intimate parts of your body, that recently he had been rough in bed with you and while you didn't complain, he was aware he needed to show his affection and need for you in a more gentle manner this time. "Amore? Can I love your body as well please?" he asks so sweetly that you could only cup his face, and turn your head away, trying to not get embarrassed.

There was something pure about every time Taemin asks for permission. Usually he takes what he wants and it drives you insane (in a good way), but when he tries to be more loving about it, it felt like it was the first time for both of you; playful, clumsy, shy, always asking if things are okay and whether a line was crossed. But Taemin had done it so beautifully where sex was at your own pace and intensity, at moments like these, you were in charge, not in the dominant sense, but in general. Yes, he'd still dominate you, but it felt different. Instead of being the obediant submissive, that succumbed to the naughty wiles of your boyfriend, you felt like you were his only air to breath, a goddess to worship.

Taemin did revel when you are like this though. To see you flushed on the bed, when your legs would twitch and rub against each other when his finger would graze down your torso. Delicately, he would trace down from your lips, down your neck and over the hill of your breast and down your stomach. It was tantalizing and almost overbearing for you to handle. His movement was light as a feather and would apply enough pressure to on certain parts to bring you back to him.

Quickly, Taemin peels his wet shirt off his body, sighing in comfort before turns his attention to you again.His body shifts a little bit, lowering his body onto yours, bringing his lips to your ears. "I know this isn't enough to make up for tonight.. " his low shuddering voice, caused your to mewl, rolling your head aside, exposing the areas, you needed him to stimulate.

Slowly, resting his weight on your body, he leaves tantalizing kisses on your neck and collarbone, repeatedly whispering your name as if it was the only word he knows. His devious hands roam the sides of your body before quickly grasping the back of your knee on one leg and pulling it up to wrap around his waist. The movement caused his hips to thrust gently, making you feel through his sweatpants, his bulge, protruding and grinding onto your naked core.

A bare moan barely escaped your throat before Taemin occupied your vacant lips, weighing down in the kiss with so much need and urgency. You were suddenly in a daze when he left your lips and targeted your breasts. Just a little nip made your body almost sit up but Taemin shot down that reaction by keeping a firm palm just on the middle of your chest, essentially, holding you down.

Taemin had always played like this, being so agonizingly slow and unpredictable and his tongue darted out, lapping at your nipples before sucking on the area around it. Your back arches upward, feeling the built up tension forming in between your legs and suddenly you were need to feel something more and not even grinding through his sweatpants is going to cut it.

"Amore.. please.." you whimpered shyly, turning your head to stare at the wall, using one of your hands to cover your face.

"Hm?"

"Please take me.."

"I don't think you're being serious", he lets out a soft giggle, teasing you as he sits up, trying to shift down the band of his sweats, pushing down his boxers as well.

Seeing his dick pop out all the sudden made your eyes roll, biting your lip and mumbled your initial statement under your breath, horribly failing at controlling yourself.

"Oh.. I guess, I should put this away then.." his voice was so playful that it ticked a nerve.

"Oh for the love of god Taemin, please!" your tone was a mixture of desperation and annoyance, but as you tried to sit up to scowl at him, Taemin with his best effort, pinned you back down on the bed again.

Taemin was holding you down by the shoulders, boring a hole through you with his eyes, but you were so flushed and excited that you couldn't even look at him in the eyes. Your body however was telling a different story as your legs have parted, allowing Taemin to slot himself in the middle, now with shaft pressed in between your bodies.

Carefully, one of his hands, held onto yours, bringing up just to the side of your head. His other hand reaches down and guides his member just to your heated core, gently pushing himself in until he was fully engulfed in you. The slow spread made you wince. Naturally with Taemin's busy schedule, there wasn't really enough time to have sex constantly and that left you feeling pretty tight, as if you walls forgot the shape of his dick.

"Oh...fuck", he hisses, if it felt too tight around him, god knows how it must be for you. "Are you okay? Do you want me to take it slow?"

Your head feverishly shakes from side to side, assuring him that you're okay, gently patting your hand on his arm, mouthing the words 'keep going'.

One slow movement out and Taemin quickly thrusts his hips, causing a jolt in your senses, covering your mouth with the back of your free hand to prevent any loud noises. Your boyfriend frowned, adjusting himself so he could finally lower his torso on top of yours.

"No no, I want to hear you", following through his words by resting head in the direction your face was pointed at, close enough that his ear was pressed against your lips.

Wasting no time, Taemin moves his hips again, finally hearing the soft yelp that left your lips, whimpering needlessly as your body feels overwhelmed with how you were coming undone beneath him. Every time he snaps his hips forward, you could feel your legs raise each time, groaning as he hits new depth in you in this manner, which made you mumble profanities into his ear.

Snickering, Taemin tries to reach upwards, grabbing a pillow before kissing you gently on the lips, his sudden slow pace winds you down before fully pulling away.

"My my amore.. look how wet you are" his eyes practically shined seeing your legs spread, seeing how your region was throbbing from suddenly feeling empty.

"Shut up..." you could only manage to whine before you felt his hands snake under you, pulling your hips up so he can place the fluffed up pillow under you.

As he attempts to push your hips and legs further up and closer to your chest, so he can scoot himself closer to you, your hands immediately dart forwards, digging your nail into his arm to catch his attention. Taemin slightly raised his head, his eyes were so dark and like a mist of lust had clouded over them and he was trying to hard not to lose control around you.

You could only flash a sweet smile before struggling slightly to raised you hand, enough for your fingers to caress his cheeks before using your other arm to lever you upwards, enough so that you could reach to tug at Taemin's hair before pushing his head down slightly.

"Clean me." the soft request from you was met with a low growl from Taemin before smirking at you. He was more than happy to comply, quickly shuffling downwards so his face was mere inches from your groin.

"Say it again...", he whispered,, casting a cool breath on your pelvic area, slowly blowing a trail further down, waiting for your words.

"Please clean me, amo---ahh", you could barely finish your statement before Taemin's tongue dart out, giving your clit a tentative lick, placing the flat muscle firmly against it. He loved how you moaned uncontrollably. He knew how much it took within you to ask him to basically eat you out. While you had no issue sucking his pretty little soul out of his dick; eating you out at your request was not something you did often. It usually got you going quick, and the orgasms you would experience is far from your general orgasms, you knew that, he knew that.

It wasn't long before his lips cascaded downwards, forming a suction at your entrance and happily sucking up the trail of wetness that managed to form and drip from your core. The way he lapped his tongue around the entrance of your pussy could drive you insane. but Taemin being Taemin, he couldn't help himself.

Mustering enough strength, he finally hoists your legs around his shoulders, while he sat up to a kneeling position. Taemin's arms wrapped so tightly around your waist, not only to keep the lower half of your body upwards, but he was ready to devour you.

It was already hard on your to almost balance your weight on your shoulders and if it weren't for Taemin's grip around your form, you would have been rendered helpless, quivering, when his tongue descends into your pussy, twirling his tongue for a bit before attacking the main prize once more, back to your clit. You had been so overwhelmed that your bud was so sensitive to any type of friction and when Taemin decided to continuously flick at it with his tongue before giving it a quick suck, its like hot white flashes burned into your eyelids.

You wouldn't last long in this state, not that it mattered to your boyfriend, he was more than determined to let you orgasm in his mouth. "F-fu..ck, Taem... fuck.." you could only muster two words repeatedly as your legs almost clench around his head and suddenly you had enough strength to indeed balance your weight on your shoulders, arching your back and needlessly grabbing onto his dark locks.

In response, Taemin's efforts were doubled. "Cum for me". His words vibrated through as his hold went from around your body, to white knuckle death grip on your hips, making sure you couldn't escape even if you tried. And there you would finally grace his tongue with your orgasm as your legs twitched endlessly and a squeal finally breaks free from throat. He would diligently lap it all up, making sure not a single drop was wasted.

"Mm, such a good tasting girl" Taemin chuckles before finally letting your body drop to the bed, letting your catch your breath. "What do you think Amore? Should I finally fuck you again? Or should I make you watch me show you how amazing your body is?"

His questions piqued your curiosity, you obviously wanted nothing more than Taemin in you. You've been so needy for him that not even rummaging through your collection of sex-toys could please you, but because you took to long to respond, it was practically obvious you wanted to see what the second suggestion meant.

The devilish man, finally smiled, leaning down to give your forehead a quick peck before shuffling to the other edge of the bed, holding your hand and guiding you to sit with him on his side. He motions for you to stay where you are as he gets up to scoot the clothing rack, meant for robes/towels/clothing ready to be worn for the day, aside , revealing a wide full body length mirror.

Quizzically darting your eyes between your reflection and his, you were snapped out of your confusion when Taemin gently lifts your head by your chin with his finger, leaning down to capture your lips, softly moaning your name out.

"My love... my life...", he's doing it again. The low rumble in his voice, the voice only you hear in private. Desperation, desire all molded into a sweet tone as he kisses down your neck and out your shoulders. "My sunshine.... Y/N.. Amore", he continues on as he moves back to the bed, kneeling behind you as he pulls you just slightly back from the edge, enough so that you could lean back and rest on his chest.

Equally, Taemin's frame shrinks just slightly so he can bury his face on the crook of your neck, lavishly decorating it with kisses and little nips to stir a sound out of you. A hand reaches down between your legs, fingers tauntingly circling around your clit once more before a lone finger knocks at the entrance of your pussy, slightly pushing in.

That sensation alone was enough for your head to rock back against Taemin's shoulders, mewling slightly with your eyes closed, while his actions beforehand was weird (to you at the very least), all those questions and worries were out the window when a second finger joined the first, gently spreading your apart. It wasn't his dick, but by God was Taemin talented with his fingers. Being skilled in playing the piano only meant good things for you, naughty things for you. Taemin eagerly pumps his digits on and out of you before hooking them to look for a sweet spot. A spot that would knock out your senses before you knew it.

Once you let out a breathless gasp, he knew he had found that sweet spot and continuously massaged it, stimulating it, all the while you had not even noticed a third finger already in you, stretching your tight hole more than you could ever dream. The slick noises your pussy made drove Taemin insane. The fact you could feel him grind his hard-on on the small of your back, drove you insane. You feel the hard muscle twitch so hard behind you, it was practically slapping against your skin and the thought of it plowing in and out you, had you soaking.

It didn't take long but your legs were fully spread open, one leg raised up on the bed and the other still somewhat planted on the bed with your foot on the floor, on your tiptoes. You had become a whimpering mess only chanting your mantra of Taemin's name and God. You tried so hard not to clamp your legs shut because it could be game over if you tightened around his fingers, but something in your started stirring and the pressure built up once more.

Taemin uses his free hand to move your head to look at the mirror, whispering into your ear. "I want you to watch... I need you to see", and with that he shifted his weight, focus and energy on the hand that pleasure you. He pumped in and out of you one last time until his middle and ring finger were knuckle deep into you before hooking up and down in a crane like motion.

You finally mustered the energy and attention to look at the mirror. Oh. So this is what he wanted you to see, to make you see how much he knows your body, how much he coveted it.

"I want you to see how beautiful you are.. how much I burn for you", he callously whispered into your ear. "Look at yourself amore, look at us.."

Like he said, because he was sitting behind you, you couldn't see his face, but now you could see, how your mewls excited him, how when your lips part to sing his name, it caused him to bite his lips, and when your head would roll to the side, he would take a deep breath in, inhaling and absorbing your scent. There was something in his demeanour and actions, everything you did had an effect on him and oh boy his damn eyes. His damn eyes gave him away. He looked at you like you were his reason to live, he looks at you like he was the fucking luckiest man on earth because you chose him. Despite the ups and downs, he had you and to know that he could witness you like this, it was perfect.

While your head may be resting onto his chest, face slightly away, your eyes were still fixed on your reflection. There was something hot about it. To see yourself come undone, a whimpering broken mess on the merit of his fingers alone.

His arms and general hand was still, but you could feel his fingers manoeuvre wildly in your and suddenly those squelches became more audible. His spare hand roams around your torso, grabbing at whatever as he is in deep focus trying to achieve what you didn't know your body could do.

As the pace of his fingers intensify, so did your breathing. Suddenly it was ragged, quick paced like you had ran a marathon and the slight brush of his thumb against your clit, was the final catalyst that sent you to a different type of nirvana. The pressure you felt was not just another orgasm. You watched your reflection as Taemin had managed to make squirt, spraying onto the floor and mostly pooling in his hand. But he didn't stop there, he quickly pulled out his fingers out of you, quickly brushing his hand like a fan over your entire pussy and clit , making the spray more dispersed eliciting more than just a squeal, it was more like a guttural scream that had your whole body convulsing.

The moment had you collapsing onto the bed, narrowly avoiding Taemin, as you try to catch your breath, half rolling your torso around the bed. "Holy... good fuck..." you gasped out, suddenly your mouth felt dry and your throat felt drier. "Wha.. what the fuck amore" you let out a low chuckle, slightly bewildered that happened.

"Soon it won't just be my fingers that makes that happen" he giggles, reaching over to give your ass a little smack. "How about it Amore?", his body turns to face you slightly.

Your head whips to look up at him and his erection standing proud, you were so dazed that you didn't even expect your body to move on its own accord. Suddenly you were on your knees and elbows, on all fours, hunched over and eagerly placing Taemin in your mouth. Gratifying him his own moment of pleasure. After what you just experienced, this is the least you could do to thank him.

Once your lips had formed a seal, enough to make a pop when you pulled away, Taemin whined. It wasn't just you, him too, sensitive aching to feel bliss. For a moment the thought crossed both of you minds, you were only sucking him off to give your pussy a break, but none of you could complain. Well, Taemin would, but feeling the back of your throat with his dick sent him on whirl. He didn't even need to hold the back of your head to keep you down, you were so willing already to take as much of him in your mouth.

It took a lot of self-control not to grab your hair and push you down so hard that you couldn't breathe, but eventually Taemin buckles, his body arching forward as he braces himself on your back. The motion of your tongue swiping on the underside of his dick before puckering your cheeks in to create the sweet vacuum he would empty himself in.

Soft groans would only escape Taemin now as you head repeatedly bobs up and down his shaft, tantalizing the tip with your tongue, playfully placing kisses on his pelvis as you move to pump him with your hand. He straightens himself, head rolled back, slowly losing the ability to stay in control and you could only look up to see his chest rising and sinking rapidly each time your grip tightened just enough. The way his adam's apple with also bob on his neck as he struggles to speak. "N...no..."

"Do you want me to stop?" your voice steeped in panic.

Taemin shakes his head, chuckling in amusement.

"D-did I do something wrong?", now you sounded worried, shifting to sit up in the same kneeling position Taemin is in.

"Relax amore.. tonight was supposed to be all about you..." he whispered.

You yelped as he grabs you by the shoulders, pulling you towards him as he throws you down onto the bed, quickly positioning himself on top of you in a straddle. His hands navigate to search for yours before clasping and pinning them on either side of your head. You both giggle as you faux struggle against his grip, attempting to lean upwards to peck the corner of his lips.

"I'm serious.. Y/N, tonight is all about you, I'm here to make you feel pleasure.. love... joy... all the good things in the world, my amore" Taemin cooes as he looks down at you.

His eyes were so different again. There was glimmer in those chocolate pools that captivated you and the way he smiles at you made your heart skip a beat because gosh, his smile would be the solution to any shiity day possible. The way he would laugh, or pout when he is being a bratty boyfriend; the way he would nonchalantly do gentlemanly things without even you asking him to do it.

"Taem..you don't... you don't need to do all of that. I already know it.." you sighed as you managed to slip your hands away from Taemin's hold, finally allowing your arms to hook around his neck and pull him down. "You're such an idiot.. but I love you so much Amore" you giggled before pecking his lips.

Taemin smiled once more, deeming that one kiss was not enough, going for another one. Then another one. Followed by a third.. a fourth and essentially you two were back to making out again. Ravenously chasing each other lips, how your tongues would battle for dominance, or how you two would bite each other's lips as a way to communicate. A quick nip would be a 'please I need you', a long swipe of the teeth would be a 'show me how much you want me', but a long bite, followed by the pulling of the other lip was a 'i'm begging you'; and that is what would happen, round after round, your lips would nibble on Taemin's lower lip, hungrily moaning for more as your body begin to roll upwards against him.

Taemin shuffles once more, guiding your legs so he can kneel in between them, dotting hurried kisses up and down your body, letting out a soft growl as he pushes your legs back, allowing to align himself at your entrance, agonizingly dragging the tip of his cock up and down your slit, bumping against your clit from time to time, making you carelessly whimper in anticipation. "Should we pick up where we left off Amore?"

You could barely respond a 'yes', he didn't give you enough time to but the pleased and relieved moan you let out as you feel his dick slowly entering inside you, lets him know, it was time. He buck his hip, gently adding more force behind his thrust to gauge how sensitive you are. But as you were so relaxed and lost in the pleasure of being filled, he picked up the pace.

The two of you get so high of the primal way Taemin fucked you, like his life depended on it. The way your walls clenched around him in a periodic rhythm in time to his thrusts drove Taemin to moan your name. You like it when he does. He gets so whimpery and cute. He wouldn't be like this if he used other 'terms' of endearment, but by god, he just fucked you the same way.

Soon your hips were rolling to meet every thrust, almost pushing him in deep inside you again and it made you see stars. Your eyes would roll back, the same way your back would arch off the bed, feeling overwhelmed as Taemin would slow his thrusts, pulling out fully before slamming in again, in one quick motion. When it felt like his thrusts were causing you to slightly shift away from him, he would grab your wrists the laid on your side, keeping you still, in place as the slow deep thrusts cause you mind to go blank.

You couldn't tell, but you were barely keeping it together. The strings of nonsense you manage to let out from your lips was inane babble to Taemin's ears. You didn't want him to fuck you like this. You needed him to be closer, on top of you, so you could whisper sweet nothings into his ear. To tell him to go slow, to feel every inch of each other.

When Taemin tried to pull out for another big thrust, that's when you leaped into action, immediately sitting up, only to hook a hand around his neck, and pulling him down with you again, staring into his eyes. "I need you close... to... me" you panted.

The man smirked slightly, supporting himself on his elbows, whilst his hands were busy playing with your hair, pulling strands of your face, that way he could study the small expressions that decorated your visage whenever he thrusted. When it was a quick one, your eyes would shoot open, lips slightly parted and inaudible scream would leave you. When it was slow and deep, your lids would be half hooded, lips reddened from how hard you were biting it and delightful moan was soft and music to his ears.

Your body would only continue to squirm and writhe in pleasure as Taemin moves his hand to cup and your breasts, gently pinching your nipple before slowly and softly dragging his nails down the side of your body, reaching to pin his hand between your ass and the mattress. Every time his thrust had you lifted off the bed, he would slap your ass gently causing an excited giggle out of you. "Oh it sounds like some wants their ass red.."

Another giggle as you nod you head, looking up at Taemin with doe like eyes and feigning innocent face, which drove him wild. How could his sweet love pull such an angelic air around her while agreeing to having her ass slapped about. It was a good tactic to get what you want and you want nothing more than to feel like you could lose you senses as Taemin pounded into you.

Taemin raises himself enough so he could bring your legs together again and in one motion, flipping you around so you were on your stomach. Not needing to be told what to do, you tried to keep yourself as flat to the bed as possible, except for the slight bed in your back to perk your ass up in the air, wiggling slightly to taunt Taemin.

The man could only smirk, testing your tolerance by giving a gentle slap and listening to your pleased mewl. He places himself behind you, slapping each cheek with his dick before spreading you apart once more. Taemin wasn't stupid, he knew why you liked this position. Not only can you have the satisfaction of your cheeks being marked, but with your legs closed tight and in this bent form, you were impeccably tight. Tight enough that Taemin would have second thought fucking you in this position because it almost felt like he was breaking your walls down.

A slow hiss ripped through Taemin's teeth as he insert himself, groaning profanities. It felt tighter than it did, when you two started earlier on and at this point, he might not last much longer. Like instinct, Taemin's hands placed themselves just on the base of your spine, holding you down as he proceeds to move his hips, causing your to moan wantonly into the matress. It was erratic and aimless, you didn't know what to feel, but the pressure of being held down and being fucked in angles and depth that you didn't know could happen, your body was almost begging to release.

In your position, you swing your arms to stretch in front of you, grabbing hold on the blanket and gripping at it whenever Taemin used his weight to pile drive into your aching core. The groans and mewls and fully turned into a fully vocal and resonant cries of pleasure. Taemin had a kink for your sinful moans and you will scream the house down for both of your pleasure because you are starting to become overwhelmed.

As your head tries to turn to look back at Taemin, you catch yourself, your reflection in the mirror. Ass perked up in the air with your own personal god, fucking you like the world was about to end. Watching Taemin's reflection as he drops his all into his thrusts made you wetter than possible, Is that how we look like.. Is that how slutty I look? Fuck.. look at him, he looks so good fucking me like this. You were so enchanted by the view, you didn't even realize Taemin was looking at you through the reflection.

"Don't we look good amore?" he groans with a quick thrust. "I told you, see how beautiful you look like this" Another thrust.

It's not like you haven't watched porn, nor have sent countless of masturbation videos to each other before, but there was something deeply erotic and sensual about how Taemin's movement would have a ripple effect on you and the sight of his face as it contorts in pleasure, how his soft lips would part to moan your name before cursing under his breath.

Shyly hiding your face behind your stretched out arm as you continue to look in the mirror. "Amore.. I want to see you cum in me..", you hummed before crossing your legs and bending your knee to raise them up, essentially keeping Taemin pinned close to you.

"But first..", he slaps you ass as he feel the heel of your foot bump against his backside. "It's time for you to scream my name again".

Taemin adjusts his knelt position, and now focusing on pumping his dick in and out of you. He kept on hand applying pressure on your lower back to hold you down while the spare hand took turns in slapping each cheek, or carelessly drawing lines down your back with his nails.

It suddenly got too much as the thrusts became shallow but effectively rubbing against you sweet spot, making you cry out his name. "Oh fuck... amore... Taemin.. please". The more louder you got the more wilder the thrusts were and this time, Taemin's hands were at your hips practically slamming you onto him, each time causing you to shudder uncontrollably. "F-fuck.. fuck.. fuck.." you drawled out as the eruption of your orgasm is finally about to hit like a double deck bus.

Overwhelmed, slightly broken, the culmination of multiple orgasms back to back did lay bearing on the intensity this orgasm brought. Whilst the hight pitch scream of you lover's name filled the room, it hits you again, the sound of the loud squelching and slight spray that dared to slip Taemin' out of you. What's worse is you had your eyes open and you could see it in your reflection how intense that was for you. Warm waves of euphoria washes over you and Taemin could see it in your eyes that slight moment where daze hits and you felt that post-orgasm numbness fog your brain in an instant.

"Told you, you'd do it again...and not by my fingers this time. You did so well amore" Taemin's words of affirmation brought you comfort, although you weren't sure it was processing in your head fully.

However despite how tingling your body is, how your legs quivered as your orgasm basically washed over Taemin. Your walls pulsated, tightening further around him and it was enough to tip him over the edge.

You would continue to watch Taemin essentially lose himself, a mixture of focus and tiredness encompass his face. His eyes hooded and clouded with ecstasy. His rapid breathing mixed with the frustrated grunts, he was all too close to getting to the same state as you.

Taemin's head would throw back again, groaning nothing but your name as he would have exploded out of you mid thrust if it weren't for your legs pinning him closer to you. You used the last of your strength to keep him in places as he empties himself in you. "F-fuck. Y/N-ah", he groans as his body keels over, his now sweat ridden forehead resting on your back.

There was a moment of silence that felt like eternity as both of you catch your breath together and Taemin finally pulls away, resting against the headboard and smiling at the sight that graced him.

"Stay still amore", he finally breaks the quietness before getting up.

He slowly guides and manouvers your body around, still bent over but now you were back at the edge of the bed, but with your back turned against the mirror. Taemin sat beside you and gently patted your ass. "Do you want to see how creamy you are amore?" he teased.

With a puzzled look, you attempt to twist your torso, so you can half turn to see what Taemin meant. And creamy you did. The imagine of you slightly spreading yourself to see the final mixture of both Taemin and yours, pool slightly out of your entrance, dripping onto the bed.

"I will never get sick of seeing you filled up.." Taemin giggled, talking to you through your reflection. He beamed up once more as he took the opportunity to let you see him lean over and naughtily nip at your cheek, slapping it once you let out a pained moan.

You laugh as you push Taemin down on the bed, scooting over to straddle him, quickling teasing him by pinching his cheeks and trying to tickle his sides. "If you keep on filling me up mister.... we'll end up having a responsibility nine months later.." you huffed slightly.

"Then maybe..." Taemin's devilish grin pops before, using his hands on your waist and pulling you upwards closer that you end up sitting on his chest. He looks down to see the trail of your orgasms line his torso. He tentatively licks his lips before gently biting his lower one.

"You idiot.. eating me out now, is not going to 100% stop a pregnancy.." you laughed, slightly flicking his forehead before dismounting him. You grabbed one of the blankets and wiped Taemin's chest free from your debaucherous sins, before throwing it aside and settling in beside him.

"Hey Y/N-ah... "

"Mm?"

"I love you..."

"I love you too."

"Next time, tell me when you are having your lows so I can catch you and make you feel safe... " he mumbles softly, turning to face you as his arm drapes over your body for a hug.

You pursed your lips before smirking at him, getting the weird feeling of being annoyed because he is being so damn cute and aggression is kicking in. Your hand reaches up to aggressively pinch his cheeks.

"You are such a cheese. A baby cheese. My cheese", you sigh contentedly.

"Yes. Your baby cheese" he chuckles before lowering his frame so he could nuzzle against you, resting his head on your chest as you begin to hum and play with his hair.

"By the way.. can you lie for me and tell the rest of the members I'm sick? It's not much, but lets have that date.. at home tomorrow...or well.. when we wake up.." Taemin mumbles half realizing the time.

"Won't you get in trouble?"

"It's okay. You're worth it..." he slowly drifts off followed by the soft sounds of his snores.

"Okay, Amore... tomorrow, it will be a day just for us.. "

[toxooz]

Heya! Its been a minute but now that I see Ponti-saurus Rex on my dash, I gotta ask (because memory of goldfish and can't remember) Does he shed his skin like some reptiles do? And if so, is he soft and squishy afterwards for a while?

i have HELLA lore on Ponti shedding for some reason so imma talk abt it why not YEAH he sheds about once every other month and it comes off in flakes that he just eats most of the time. He usually takes shed baths and gets all the dead skin off there (which Abby regretfully joins him rarely lmfao hence this ancient pic:)

but sometimes Abby helps him pick off shed in hard to reach places, and after he sheds he gets super shiny and even iridescent which i did an ass job when i tried to show that in these but first pic is probably right before he starts shedding and the 2nd is like the day after:

still trying to get the right effect down but basically looks like this:

so especially around his neck, tummy, and more tender spots he kinda has a rainbow sheen WHICH plays into his whole mating call thing that he does with his throat but I'll get into that in a min bc fuck it this gonna be a Ponti info dump post 🤠

so anyway he gets super moody and irritable right before and during (kind of like a period tbh AHA) and depending on how healthy he is he can really shine, which I'm sure nowadays he's the shiniest he's ever been; but when he was a kid, hitting puberty, and also being under immense stress literally all the time he was super flakey and pale most of the time

so he was kinda always in a constant state of anxiety shedding pfft but now his cycles are pretty set in stone the whole once every other month thing sO circling back to the shiny on his neck it's basically like the way an alligator does a mating call ie. from my blog lost to time:

i have a gif of him doing it too but twitter is a piece of shit that wont let me save my own fukkin gifs but bc of him being in his Prime Shiny right after shedding making it optimal for him to do his mating call, he also gets super fukkin horny after shedding which is where his heats come in but i aint goin into all that mess here bUT YEAH he sheds :')

[dumplingsjinson]

naurrrrr, so a lot has happened since thursday last week ('tis now a tuesday). the long distant dude i voice called on thursday (took us 6 months and a fucktonne of communication issues in between) hasn't been answering my messages since the call and long story short, i'm kicking him to the curb for the meanwhile and if he ever replies then gg. ion need a partner OR a friend like that, ngl, because he's been inconsistent for the longest of fucking time, and i don't wanna agonise over someone like that any longer.

on friday, i went out with another guy. we'll call him... the cat dude, cause he loves cats and has one himself (she's the cutest thing ever, with the pics he's been sending me). first half of the date was a little boring, ngl. he's a lil' awkward. he was probably also a lil' nervous, which i don't blame him for.

and then we got drunk as shit for the second half, and i was leaning against him and everything while we were trekking around the city, and uh... AHEM. we ended up making out during karaoke. several times at that. i initiated most of them, too, because i wanted someone to kiss (mayhaps kissing is quite fun, imma tell you that much), so i'm like... LKFNEWLKFN. TAKE ALCOHOL AWAY FROM ME RIGHT NOW. a complete menace to society, your honour!

like, i still remember our first kiss where i turned around to face him, looked at him for a second or two then pulled him in by the nape of neck to kiss him. i don't remember how the other ones happened but i remember he initiated one of them. i remember him cuddling close to me, with me leaning against him, while we sang into our mics; him kissing my face (do guys just like... do that after you kiss them or what is this????). the karaoke room was like... right near reception and there's like a small window where people can see us so if workers/guests were walking around, they might have caught us doing that. so yeah. no decorum whatsoever.

i kissed him goodbye at the train station when he dropped me off (I WOULD NEVER DO SUCH A THING WHEN SOBER, I WOULDN'T EVEN HUG SOMEONE WHEN LEAVING UNLESS THEY GO IN FOR THE HUG FIRST SO BITCH), before i hopped my drunk ass on the train to get home (and now i cannot stop thinking about it for the life of me!!! fuck me!! and i also can't stop wishing i kissed him for longer LMFAO). he ended up staying at a hotel (i'm so thankful i didn't stay with him or else things might have happened and i would have woken up to true regretfulness).

saturday morning, i wake up with a slight hangover (so worse than what happened the week before this when i got drunk as shit) he messages me and says he enjoyed my company, both drunk and sober and i was like... oh. because i thought he didn't enjoy my company while sober LMFAO, but i guess i was wrong (or maybe he was being polite, i have no clue). and now i'm seeing him again this week saturday for a small picnic with the promise we won't be drinking any sort of alcohol. AND IDK MAYBE I'M STUPID but i think he might be feeling me a little? he's more fun over text than in person tbvh, but again, first meet ups are usually a lil' awkward ahaha. and like... he's chill and i wanna see where this goes. (all i can say is, guys definitely get vvvv clingy when they're drunk! you break that touch barrier earlier on and they'll be all up in your personal space esp when you decide to add a few drinks to the mix lmfao. and yeah i only got drunk with like two dudes so the sample size isn't big but ya know??). i know his ass remembers what happened even if we never explicitly talked about it, but i ain't even embarrassed about it at this point. i just find it so funny lkwnfklwenf

as for the mixed signals guy... the dude who kissed me while drunk and got all clingy with me? the one who told me a few days later that he liked someone else? the one who was supposed to watch the fuckin' barbie movie with me? he flaked on my ass LAST MINUTE so he could go have a study date with the girl he likes. (that girl, according to him, doesn't like him back, and he's been pissy about it ever since.)

this guy is a MESS. he keeps reiterating that we're friends and nothing more so i'm acting like a friend towards him even though he probably doesn't fucking deserve my friendship considering how he could so easily flake on a friend after they planned a hang out with him over a WEEK in advance. a whole fucking week, with solid plans, and he fucking flakes. all because he wants to see the girl he's simping after. rude ass fucking bitch! that is not a good friend quality to have at all. inconsiderate, if you ask me. thank fuck i was able to find another friend to go with me.

there's also a lot of shit going on with him and the more i talk to him, the more i'm like... my god, i should probably drop him. i've been telling my friends about it and they're like "is this man okay? you sure you still wanna talk with him?" and i'm starting to think - no, i don't. he has hella issues, thinks getting into a relationship is the only means of having someone care about him (completely disregarding the fact that friends can care about you, too, sometimes even more than a partner does), and he's done questionable shit in the past. he also says really questionable shit.

and, like, don't get me wrong, i wanna be there for him and like... i can partially see why he might be the way he is today, but we had a conversation about it last night and he basically tried to push me away and i'm out here like - why would you ask me to be your friend when your end goal is to push me away? why ask for someone to care about you when this is the shit you do???? you can't be there for someone who simply just doesn't want to get their shit together. it gets draining really fucking quickly.

oh, not to mention, he ghosted all of his friends when he got with his now ex so fucking gg, mate. he seems to expect me to do the same with him when i get into a relo and i'm like... motherfucker, i'm not you. assuming i'd do that, just because you did that yourself, is just so hurtful. a complete red flag of a human being, if you ask me. if he continues to be like this then i'm taking the left exit. i don't need this shit in my life, right now or ever.

[pinene]

dude I am so sick of apps. I know that this is like saying the sky is blue but like. yet another sweet cute guy I’ve been chatting with for a month or two had to flake on our tentative plans today. and it just feels like the pattern will never end. The pattern: see a new guy on, chat him up, swap pics, he is rarely available for some stupid reason, probably work or has a partner at home he doesn’t play with or just has a robust social life. finally he has some free time and he asks if you wanna hang out then, and then the day of, there’s a dumb little excuse. it’s always a dumb little excuse. I’d almost prefer it be some grandiose, obvious lie, or just a “not feeling it today”, but it’s always like “my roommate got COVID” “my friend needs a ride”, like, totally mundane, believable shit that would be understandable except that it happens EVERY SINGLE TIME I’m about to meet a new guy, and so I’m left just feeling like the universe is actively conspiring against me. the only guy to break this mold so far was one I’d been talking to for months who was literally everything I was looking for and one day said “come over!” and then just literally never responded again

and then eventually we fall out of touch! he inevitably deletes his profile or we just stop chatting, because after a while it just gets way too frustrating to keep making plans that never happen. I am exhausted. I am so fucking tired of hearing “I’m around more next week” “what you up to this weekend?” because it has LITERALLY never gone anywhere this year. And what’s worse is I’m literally unemployed with zero commitments, and I STILL can’t meet up with anyone cool. What’s it gonna be like when I get a job or if I went to school?? I’m 1 more cancelled meetup away from blowing up my phone

[takasgf]

darling and confession

THANK YOU RIA YOU ARE THE LOVELIEST EVER💞💞💞

darling — what outfits would you both wear on a date? feel free to show pics!

Contrary to popular belief, I am not the most fashion knowledgeable person. Still, I shall try and describe their ideal outfits, as well as try to add some pics that are similar? Or alternatives maybe? I'm writing this before research, so I'm putting this job into future Flake's shaky hands. These would be outfits worn on a date in like, a public area, outside their house. Ishi starts out pretty formal, of course. Nothing over the top, but he does get his prettiest buttoned shirt, a tie and pants that would usually be paired with a suit of the same colour. He really wants to impress her!! She obviously finds him incredibly adorable but can't help to notice that he's a bit more stressed out and anxious when wearing very formal outfits. He's usually lost in his thoughts, trying his hardest to be a model boyfriend for his beloved. Frogeru doesnt want him to be stressed about details when they hang out, so she encourages him to wear more comfortable outfits on dates, like sweaters, jackets, funny socks, all that stuff. She shows him how to combine them in order to create a rather pretty outfit, perfect for a more cozy date. Froggy prefers comfort over everything and tends to wear formal clothing very very rarely. She loves softer clothing, fun patterns, shoes that let her run and jump up and down, fluffy skirts in which she can twirl around and be an absolute cutie. Instead of her bow, she often wears other hair accessories, like multiple ribbons or headbands (with antennae or some other quirky decoration). They both wear their gold necklaces as a matching accessory!

confession — how’d the confession happen, and looking back on it, what are your (and f/o’s) thoughts abt how you both were back then?

As you know, Celeste called them over for a tea party, with the intent of having them finally confess to eachother. At one point she left the room, signing to both of them that "its time." (she talked to them separately before this) Frogeru was the first one to say it. She was very very nervous, and it didnt help that Ishi started crying immediately. But thankfully, they were tears of joy - he was very nervous too. They expressed their gratitude for each other, they hugged and cried a lot, Celeste slightly dying of cringe in the background. No worries, she was happy for them, its just an awkward situation to be witness to.

Neither think poorly of their past selves at that point in their lives. They felt the need to hide their feelings because they were both confused and didnt want to ruin a perfectly good friendship. They are so happy they didnt rush their relationship. They dont regret becoming a couple later than their friends expected, because their friendship is just as strong and special as it is their romance ❤

[gggoldfinch]

My little tiny sad brain can’t handle trying to absorb new things right now but I am curious. Can you spoon feed sales pitch explain rammestein like I’m five?

THIS MADE ME GIGGLE SO FUCKING HARD oh god I’m tearing up idk why this is so funny LMAO

I love talking about things I’m into to people on the internet, so yes I can absolutely sales pitch explain Rammstein to you anon. This may be a little too long-winded but I’m insane so you have to forgive me… (tldr at the end)

Okay so,, basically: Rammstein is a German industrial metal band formed in 1994, consisting of lead singer Till Lindemann, guitarists Richard Z. Kruspe and Paul Landers, bassist Oliver Riedel, synth/keyboardist Christian Lorenz (aka Flake or Dr Lorenz), and drummer Christoph Schneider.

They lean heavy on performative violence and pyrotechnics during shows (i.e. Till bashing his head against things, Till “cooking” Flake alive in a cauldron with an actual flame thrower, etc… also Till is kinda insane ?? homeboy frequently puts himself through intense physical pain, possibly bordering on self-mutilation, all for shits and gigs??). There is also a fair amount of sexually explicit lyrics, and occasionally visuals (Till and Flake once got arrested for emulating gay sex on stage despite being fully clothed— which is fucking hilarious).

Basically, they’re a bunch of old(ish) german guys having questionably explicit fun, and I’m completely infatuated. They’re also kindaaaaa 👀 HDJKDKFLF…… Anyway, one of their songs, “Sonne” has been trending on tiktok lately (as songs tend to do), so chances are if you have tiktok you’ve probably heard it. Their music videos are fucking wild too— my favorite mvs are “Angst,” “Adieu,” and “Deutschland.” Also Till’s solo “Ich hasse Kinder” mv fuckin slapssss. The mvs, especially the more recent ones, are shot with movie level quality and, though often bizarre and slightly unsettling, are definitely worth a viewing.

They’re kinda always dirty and grimy and covered in soot on stage (presumably both for the aesthetic and because of the extensive use of serious pyrotechnics), in addition to wearing makeup and outlandish costumes (when not shirtless), and are just a bunch of goofballs tbh. They dance around and bully each other on stage— it’s pretty entertaining to watch. Unfortunately they’re not touring the US rn so I can’t cop a ticket, but when they do come back around I can only hope to get my eyebrows scorched off in the pit. And, if you ever see me posting about a super beefy dude with a lot of facial piercings, usually sweaty and gross looking, that’s my beloved Till. I admittedly have a big fat crush on him (and also Richard and Paul) 🤷🏻‍♀️

So, tldr: they’re an off-color German industrial metal group, not particularly for the faint of heart.

(For reference here’s a pic from 2001; L->R: Oliver, Flake, Paul, Till, Chris, Richard)

[thegenderfluidace]

Whoops accidental vent below the line

Why is it now, when I’m about to go to sleep, that I feel the best I’ve probably felt all day

And not, I don’t know, before work where I had a mental breakdown and it was just very lucky that my mum was driving me to work because I had a migraine so she went in and told whoever was closing that I could not in fact work tonight because I was crying in the car

Like I’m pretty sure today, this week, was doomed to failure.

Like today we took my cat to the vet for her first ever check up(where she was in fact(surprisingly) a very good girl, no hissing, scratching, growling, biting, she was a very good kitty for them and we got new cat treats that hopefully she does actually really like and have her one as a good job you were good kitty) but I ended up having more anxiety there then her, she’s healthy and perfectly fine, got some shots, vaccines and stuff, and she didn’t even flinch when getting em and I physically could not look at the needles

And then after that had to go to my (ex) best friend’s farewell thingy(thing Mormons have before they go on there mission) she used to be my best friend for years and then she just kept not wanting to plan things and when we did she’d always flake and she’d never respond when I’d message her anymore and she just became a really sucky friend

We couldn’t even stay there long(not that I really wanted to) cause I had work, but cause neither me nor my mum are Mormon and my dad doesn’t even really remember much of what he did when he was, apparently we went there underdressed because everyone else was wearing like suits and dresses and there were so many people, it was stupid and stressful and I hated it. I didn’t want to be there, only fun part was when her friend was talking about 3d printing and showing us pics of his cats(they are so freaking cute, and he was genuinely an actually really nice person) but everything else? Awful, hated it. Didn’t even wanna go.

Day was just way too much for me, woke up with a migraine(which has been continuous for about a week+ish, and surprise gets worse with stress), and then it was cat vet appointment, and then friend thing, which made me stressed and it was making me nauseous so I couldn’t even really take anything for it, and since it was bad enough wasn’t really a great idea for me to drive so asked my mum to take me to work which on the way I did my not really effective coping skill of distract and it’ll maybe go away(which is where I realized the trees looked like they had a bunch of tiny cauliflowers and looked at the baby sheep/sheep that we drive by on my way there(which while saying that if you haven’t seen a baby sheep irl that is so very sad and I feel that needs to be fixed so go find a baby sheep and look at it, I promise it(momentarily) makes everything better) and then when we pulled into the work parking lot we saw that it was the manager that could throw me all off on a good day which it was so not smoking outside and that was when it alllll went downhill. Cause I was not feeling at all better and I knew if she said the wrong thing today I would have a mental breakdown at work and I was so not for that. So instead I had a mental breakdown and panic attack inside the car while my mum went inside to go tell her that I would not be able to work tonight but that I very much tried to actually work tonight(which I did, I genuinely tried so hard to be able to get through today and I just couldn’t) so yep crying in the car in my works parking lot, and proceed to apologize for literally everything and continue to cry and breakdown and then get home cuddle with cats for a bit and then went downstairs to my room to cry and breakdown some more and then take a nap

But now after literally everything I’m feeling okayish now? When I really don’t need to cause imma sleep???

Maybe it’s cause I actually ate and drank some water and took migraine meds which should hopefully help soonish but it’s still annoying

And the reason this week is fated for failure?

I still have so much to do this week and I feel so sucky

And as if life just wanted to laugh in my face I don’t have therapy this week because she’s currently out of state

We knew she was gonna be when we were scheduling therapy but then everything started coming up and it all just so happened to be the week she isn’t here

Lovely. Fantastic. Amazing.

Life was for real like ‘yknow that one week where the person in charge of helping to make sure they don’t absolutely lose it is out of state? Yeah let’s go put all the stressful bad stuff that week. Even better if most of it is literally right before the day they would have therapy just to help point out that they currently do not have it for this one week’

Absolutely great day(not)

Gonna sleep now and hope this week doesn’t suck too much but probably still will!

[infatuatedpup]

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I’m I think I really like this guy (∗∕ ∕•̥̥̥̥∕ω∕•̥̥̥̥∕) . It’s a little sad because I put so much energy into him and he barely puts any into me … I want to ask him on a date so badly but I think he only sees me as a friend and nothing more… he’s pretty nice and we have similar music taste and interests. He works a lot so it’s hard to get him to hang out with me.. and he’s a terrible texter.. but when we do text ♡´･ᴗ･`♡ he’s really nice and I enjoy chatting with him .. at least he’s honest that he’s busy .. a couple days ago he did ask me to text him tomorrow because he will be at work all day and bored … sooo like ofc (o´ω｀o) I’m like yes !!! I’m reading this as “ omg he likes my attention”!! He was telling me he was not feeling well so I felt bad for him and told him to take it easy. I checked on him today and he said he called off work because he was not feeling well and by the looks of it he does seem like he needs a break because he works long hours some sometimes only gets one day off a week . So yikes I know how that feels and that would burn me out so bad. I guess i just relate to him and want him to be ok. As much as I want to ask him out on a date I A) don’t want to rush into things B) don’t know how he feels about me. C) am scared of rejecting and think it’s too soon because I think I’d like him as a friend as well.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

So like here are the reasons I think he kind of likes me .

(／≧ω＼) now hear me out!! I know I sound like I am delusional .. just a tiny bit

But ! He’s nice to me! We did talk once on VC and he said he’s like to do it again! Because he liked it. I’ve been trying to work on getting us to bc again but he’s so busy.

He also sends emoticons and little emoji when we chat so that’s really cute ! I mean he replies when he can too and specifically requested I message him the next day that one time,,,,. We also have a Spotify blend playlist!! I listen to it more than I’d like to admit .. but it’s pretty good! _(:3 」∠)_

Overall all I l think I like the idea of him because of what little I know of him.. he is a bit of a flake and SUCKS at following thru with plans .. he’s flaked more than once . I don’t know what that says about me but it says a lot about him. But he did give me compliments the other day.. bc I show him some pics of me before going to an event ..

Anyways I think if I were to ask him on a date.. I’d ask him if he wanted to go to an art museum.. and then get boba and go to a park and just sit in the grass ( and maybe have a picnic? Idk maybe I’m pushing it there lol) .. sounds like a cute date to me..

Ugh I’m embarrassed that I like him more than he likes me and maybe I’m barking up the wrong tree .. and it’s pathetic that I’m the one who Is so excited to talk to him..

Anyways I really hope we can at least hang out soon…

I think I’m just thinking so much but I’m just infatuated I guess

Maybe it’ll work out idk we will see one day if I ever get the guy lol

Oh! Idk what to nickname this guy🤔 maybe I’ll call him mhmmmm idk it’s up in the air I’ll figure it out later lol

[miscreantmelon]

Rammstein M&G - Stockholm | 14.08.19

So this might not be hugely interesting to anyone, but there's a few little things I wanted to remember from last week’s M&G and what was probably the best 15 minutes of my life ♥

[Quick disclaimer; I didn’t take most of these photos, the only reason I’ve watermarked them is because I see M&G photos stolen without credits all the time and unfortunately I lost track of who in our lovely group took each photograph 💔]

BathrobeOlli™ was the first to come in and sign. He sped through very quick and didn’t say a lot - but he was still really nice. A girl near me asked him if she could have a hug and he said yes in his super low voice and gave her a big hug, it was really sweet 😭. I was super nervous and he seemed in a hurry so I just said thank you when he signed my artwork and let him move on ♥

Richard arrived next, and Paul, Till, Flake and Schneider must have been right behind him because by the time he’d greeted the first person in the line, the rest of them had all appeared in the doorway. There was a lot of loud banging (kind of like a drum roll, I guess) which I didn’t see the source of but it did sound as though one of them had been hitting or kicking either a wall or a door or something to announce their arrival 😂😂 

Flake and Schneider joined Richard in starting at the other side of the room and Till and Paul stuck around. This meant Till was coming our way next; and honestly he was laughing and smiling a lot more than I had ever expected. A couple of the girls ahead in the line were German, and whatever they said had him laughing, then when he got to the Swedish girls beside me he was listing some of the Swedish words he knew - and he asked them how to say something (it may have been “you’re welcome”? I can’t quite remember now). He just seemed totally in a good mood, and it was really nice to see him smiling so much!

When he signed my drawing he did it sooooo slow and careful because the paper is really thin and I had nothing solid to put underneath it to act as a table. It’s not a big deal really, but I just really appreciated the care and attention he put in to making sure he didn’t rush and mess it up 😭 took him like a solid ten seconds just to sign.

Till went on to chat to the girl beside me, and then Paul appeared. When I gave him my drawing to sign, he gestured to Jens (who was standing behind with a camera) and told me “this is the guy who took this photo”, meaning the photograph I’d used as a reference for the artwork. I already knew this, since - lets be honest - the guy takes the prettiest goddamn photos. So I replied “I know” and Paul said “You know? How do you know?” to which I went “...I follow him on instagram” 😂 Jens was listening to all of this and mouthed “thank you” at me which was just the sweetest thing honestly.

Then I think I stopped to take a pic of Till with the girl next to me (I honestly can’t remember what order anything happened in so could be wrong lmfao) and I probably mentioned something about hoping the pictures were okay because I was shaking so much, and then the next thing I know I hear Till laughing loudly, saying something along the lines of “look at this” whilst gesturing at my shaky hands and then he literally GRABS MY PHONE OFF ME. 

Then he fiddles with it for a few seconds before holding it up to take pictures of me and Paul together. Later when I flicked through my shots I realised not only did he just take the pictures but he also had the good sense to put the camera into portrait mode before doing so. When he handed the phone back to me he said “they are lovely photos” 😭  

Till carried on down the line and Paul chatted to me a bit more. I told him the drawing took me a month to finish and around about when I said that Richard came barrelling down the line and had signed it before I even noticed he’d appeared in the first place. Then it was like a switch had flipped in Paul’s head and his attention was completely distracted 😂. He sort of grabbed at / dragged Richard over to stand on the other side of him .. . . . and then they were both looking at my drawing together. It was the probably the most surreal moment of my life 😭 just couldn’t believe I had BOTH of them standing beside me at the same time (still can’t believe it, actually) and I don’t even remember anything they said, because my brain was just internally screaming the entire time. 

This is literally my favourite photo ever aaaaAAAAaaH

Anyway just as Richard was managing to get my totally frayed attention onto him, Paul takes the paper from me completely and holds it up so Jens can take a picture of it on his camera and aaaaaaaaaaah I was internally screaming all over again.

I was so surprised but I am still SO stoked about it. It was just the coolest fuckin’ thing. I know the boys in the band see art much cooler than mine all the time so I didn’t expect much from their reactions, but the fact that Jens liked it enough to want a picture of it made my whole life ♥ 😭

During this, Richard told me the drawing was good and that was pretty cool to hear from him in particular since he said “I’m very picky” directly afterwards. (Of course you are Richard I think we all know that   👀) He was really kind and was smiling a lot too and just, ugh 😍

Here’s Paul patiently waiting for me to get my picture taken with Richard before handing me back my art adsjglkd; I love him sm Richard moved to the next person after that but Paul actually stuck around a little longer, chatting to me some more. Out of all of them, he definitely took the longest amount of time with each person in the meet and greet and was the last person still circulating the room at the end. Not to mention that he was so lovely and smiley the whole time 😭😭

Schneider and Flake came around next, and my nerves were really shot by this point so I was probably a bit quiet and awkward, but they were both really nice. Somebody got a picture of Schneider signing the drawing ♥

Just after Till finished meeting people and went to leave, a few of the girls ran up and asked for hugs. (So many stormed him at once that he laughed and shouted “It’s like some kind of orgy!”). I don’t normally ask people for hugs but my crazed brain took over when I saw everyone doing it so I hurried over to ask for one too just as he was about to leave. He gave me a look that was like “*sigh* just ONE more then”, and gave me a hug before taking off ♥ So yeah, that’s kind of it really! The whole thing was over so quickly but it was completely incredible and even better than I ever could’ve hoped for 💖💖

♥ ♥ ♥

[p-redux]

PSA:

Yes, I know about the podcast where a disgruntled would be lady friend of Sam's bashes him.

When I first was alerted to it, I didn't bother paying attention to what she was posting on social media leading up to her podcast because I was busy in RL and hadn't had time. Besides, I already knew, like I've been saying since 2014, that Sam is a heterosexual man who dates multiple women, and is not ready to settle down. I don't see anything wrong with that. Meh. This is NOT news.

Then today, I got a ton of DMs on here and some on Twitter, and I got a couple of Anon Asks about it asking me what my opinion is. I literally worked a 10 hour day today and then had some RL stuff to do after. I'm exhausted.

But I finally plopped on the couch and listened to her podcast because people were SO insistent about it. I guess at this point, my followers are wondering why I haven't said anything, and are looking to me to post what I think of it. TBH, I'm SO tired, brain function is slowing down. I'll probably write something when I gather my thoughts and have some time, and some coffee.

But here is my off the cuff initial reaction. Besides anything to do with what happened or didn't happen between Sam and the woman who did the podcast, my MAIN focus while listening to it tonight was: that what she posted sunk the SamCait ship for the millionth time, the "Sam is gay" false narrative got debunked AGAIN, AND we inadvertently got full CONFIRMATION that Sam DID date Georgia Ellenwood (athlete at track meet) and Danielle Kling (girl already living in Hawaii), Gia (new girl he met in Los Angeles and took to Hawaii during quarantine), and that Sam was thinking of rekindling with an ex (Mackenzie Mauzy, pic of her at Comic Con post break up wearing the Barbour jacket he gave her, and I was asked not to post the pic) HAHAHA. Just like I told the fandom. I LOVE when my info gets CONFIRMED. And THAT is and will always be what gets me off in this fandom. The only thing that keeps me here (besides my friends, of course). Sorry if you expected something more lofty...

Bottom line: Sam's a heterosexual human man who is not ready to settle down with one woman. Alert the presses! Lord.

Sam saying to her "Let's get together the next time I'm in town" is not a promise of a date, it's not a promise of anything, it's literally a flashing neon sign meaning "let's leave things open ended," "maybe," "let's play it by ear." And anyone and everyone who has dated enough human males knows this. Did she not get the Man Code Manual? I thought everyone knew this. When a man wants to see you, he doesn't say things like that, he makes CONCRETE plans with you and FOLLOWS THROUGH with them.

PROTIP: an actor who slides into your DMs and says let's get together when we're in the same town, and then doesn't, isn't "ghosting" or "gaslighting" you, he's letting you know without being direct that "he's just not that into you," but doesn't want to hurt your feelings. It seems to me that when the podcast woman figured out that there were women Sam WAS actually into and DID see in person, she got pissed...and got even. It really is a slap in the face to Sam that he helped her with raising funds and she went and badmouthed him publicly. Petty, petty.

MORE PROTIPS: When a man is into you, he, *taps chin* makes the effort to SEE you in person. Simple as that. The fact that Sam didn't, should have been the one and only clue needed to "move on" and find a man who is into you and will want to spend time with you in person. No need to keep waiting around, continuing to DM with or interact with a man who won't SEE you. Me, forever and ever 'splainin the facts of life.

I'm sorry she feels hurt, but it's way over the top that she now has taken it upon herself to "warn" women about Sam. Helloooo, he's not Shia LaBeouf or Armie Hammer FFS. By ALL accounts, pretty much EVERYONE who gets to know Sam says what a nice guy he is, including the women who dated him. Even his ex Cody Kennedy's MOM, Jinx said she didn't have anything bad to say about him, and said he was a "gentleman," and Sam broke up with Cody because, according to what Jinx publicly confirmed on Instagram, "he went back to his old girlfriend in London." (Abbie Salt in 2015)...just like I said sources told me months prior. :-). Sam broke up with her daughter and Jinx said nothing but nice things about Sam.

Is Sam a saint...or Jamie Fraser? NOPE. But, he's not a bad dude, and especially in Hollywood, he's, what I would call, one of the good ones. It's unfortunate that his name is getting smeared over something like this. Her reaction is totally disproportionate to what he actually did. Date a true Hollywood douche and then come back and talk to me. That's not Sam. Sam giving a woman his ubiquitous line "let's get together for a wee dram when you're in town" and then flaking, or flirting in DMs, and not having it lead to anything more did not warrant the bad press she is giving him. But I guess his fans can take solace in the fact that people who actually know Sam know who he really is, and his good heart.

Anyhoo, Imma pour myself a second glass of wine and I'll write something tonight or tomorrow or actually...I don't think I will...I kind of already did. :-).

Pssst: "He's just not that into you." Deal with it.

[striker-scribbling-silliness]

Another drawing I did like one week ago that I forgot to share here whoopssss

Anyways, this was for an advent calendar thingy on Artfol that I decided to share here too! (If you wanna check my Artfol, username is Strikerwott12)

So the story of this pic:

Zoey had a date, so she was out for a bit. Garrus pretty much had the apartment to himself during that time, so he pretty much used that time to get some stuff done and take some time for himself and such. A few hours later, Zoey came back feeling miserable and in tears because of her date ending horribly. Garrus, comforting her and reassuring her everything’s gonna be ok, decides to cheer her up with some hot chocolate with peppermint flakes (AKA: One of Zoey’s favorite types of hot chocolate). While Garrus isn’t a hot chocolate fan himself, he never said he can’t make it for Zoey, he’s more than happy to do so, especially during times when needed! So this, as well as just talking and spending time with her best friend, made Zoey feel better! So even though her date went badly, she’ll find the one she’s been looking for someday!

[chronicals-of-top-surgery]

25 days post OP 6/20/22

Jeez, five days have passed already?? Time is FLYING by.

Well, a day or two ago I took a nice hot shower and because I wasn't super concerned about water getting into places it shouldn't (which was a concern when my nipples weren't fully attached yet) I was able to get everything cleaned. Sadly, I need to exfoliate because just rubbing my shoulders made a ton of gross, dead skin fall off.

Speaking of gross dead stuff falling off, the hot steam got the scabs really loose. My right nipple has almost no scabbing now and my left lost a TON. It's seemingly very healthy and pink and perfect under there. The top is weirdly not super smoothed down to the skin or flush, it's raised around the top edge but I think it'll smooth itself out and be fine.

Though, while I was gently lifting away the scab bits that were flaking and falling off anyways, one bit of scab gave a weird amount of resistance. Turns out, there's a fuckin SUTURE hiding under the scab!! Like a whole stitch, hiding, totally missed by the doctor 2 weeks later. I sent him a text and showed some pics and he said I'm healing up perfectly, I look amazing, and that the suture will dissolve and fall away on its own so just don't bother it and it'll be fine.

I only have 6 more days of wearing my chest wrap too. Ive been taking breaks for a few hours at a time. Just letting everything breathe and relax a little, especially when the wrap is just not cooperating and is rolling up and sitting on my scars weird which hurts. My sides do hurt but I think it's from the wrap and laying on my sides. I've been able to sleep on my sides a little but I keep just rolling back over to sleep on my back again.

Everything is super sensitive. Especially in the center of my chest between the two scars and like in between where my breasts used to be, it's just really tender to touch. Like touching a super raw sunburn, or (and maybe only my fellow autistic folks will really get this one) when someone pets or rubs you in the same spot over and over for too long it starts to hurt? Yeah that sensation. Really uncomfortable. It feels better with the wrap on it and nothing brushing up against it but my whole chest is just sensitive in a bad way

For some reason, right below my nipple and a little to the outside, it's hard as rock. Idk what that's about bc the rest of my chest is more squishy. I'm guessing it's muscle?? Or part of the suturing? Idk, it doesn't hurt, just a little strange note. It's on both sides, mostly the left, so I'm assuming it's normal.

I still am trying to not really stretch, I still haven't done any heavy lifting, pushing, or pulling. I plan to keep it that way for another month, hell, until I'm moving out for college (3 months total healing). I want to be CERTAIN I don't cause any damage and I want my scars to heal as pristinely as possible, and right now I have the luxury to do so. Besides, as of right now, if I stretch a bit too far or push a bit too hard, it does hurt. I haven't had anything besides a twinge of achey pain or a quick pinch but id rather listen to those little hints of pain telling me to stop while I'm ahead and not push it further.

Ive got my online college orientation tomorrow so I have that to look forward to. I also need to start talking to my boss about when I'll be returning. But I can worry about that tomorrow. I still have 10 days before my leave ends, I'm not on the very last second of planning. It's still flexible and calm and I'm not gonna freak myself out over a minimum wage job. The only reason I haven't quit is because I want to transfer to a store in the college town and take advantage of tuition reimbursement.

So yeah! It's going good, I'm taking it easy still, healing is nice, I'm no longer stressed about my nipple because it turns out it's scab was just a LOT thicker than my right one, and everything is healing good! Im outside of the scary zone now, no more fear that a nipple will fall off or that something will get infected. Now it's just a gentle waiting game for the sutures inside to heal and dissolve away and for my scars to settle and start permanently healing. It won't be completely healed for like 3 years (the deep scar on my hand took about that long to go from reddish pink to my skin tone) but I just need to make it to the period where I'm safe to work out again which I think is like 3 ish months? I'm fine with that honestly. I'm not going to start working out again until I have the campus gym accessible to me.

I'll keep updating this periodically! Im really fond of this blog and all like 3 people who follow it, and it's a great archive for myself and my memories. Somehow being in Miami simultaneously feels like yesterday and a year ago. I miss my companion, I miss how much he doted on me and cared for me. Of course my mom dotes on me too but that's a good mom for ya, I love and appreciate it but I still yearn for him too. Little bit of gay yearning never hurt anyone yeah? Yeah. I'll keep updating here as I go along and heal! Until the next post!

[nari-nim]

forever anticipating

“hi i don't know if your requests are open but if they are can you write an scenario in which hyunsuk sets jihoon and y/n on a blind date? fluffy? btw do you think he would kiss on the first date?”

aww anonie this is the cutest request! time for some SOFT JIHOON HOURS!  To answer your question, I think Jihoon is highly intuitive and can read body language well so he will use that to inform his decision whether or not to go for the kiss! If his date is down, he will not hesitate. I hope you enjoy the direction I took :) lmk what you think!! 💓

This is how Jihoon secretly looks at you when you aren’t looking during your date. gif credit goes to @khaly-no​

Treasure Jihoon x Y/N

warnings: none, this FLUFFY

word count: 1.8k

— the dorms —

Video game night was in full swing and it has never been louder in the dorms. Jeongwoo screeched over the sound of six other members’ simultaneous bickering. Meanwhile, Asahi decided now was the perfect time hit whoever blinked with a couch pillow. Normally, Hyunsuk wouldn’t have tolerated this level of rowdiness under his roof. But he was busy. He sat quietly on the far end of the sofa tapping furiously into his phone, a sly smile plastered across his features.

“Hey, Jihoon—oh my god,” Hyunsuk said, his smile melting as soon as he looked up. The chaos activated his leader (mother) mode. “Jihoon-Jeongwoo get down. Jeongwoo, please. Haruto, wait--Junkyu-Junkyu- ASAHI”

Asahi stopped. The rest followed suit.

The room turned to normal levels of volume, and Hyunsuk was able to try again. 

“Jihoon, come here.” Jihoon perked up from his Mashiho impersonation, and got up to join Hyunsuk.

“Bro, you should join us. Junghwan is killing it, you don’t want to miss his true maknae on top moment.” (He’s actually not, the beloved super king cow king baby is getting crushed by Haruto every round). Jihoon slid next to Hyunsuk, glancing at his phone screen. “What are you...”

Hyunsuk flashed him a cheeky smile and hid what he was working on for the past half hour.

“You’re going on a blind date tomorrow.”

“No way, this feels somewhat illegal. Tell me more.”

“Her name is y/n and I met her through a mutual friend. They go to uni together and we met at that hangout I went to last weekend. Park Jun, she is exactly your type. You gotta trust me on this one.”

Jihoon blinked at him, for once without a witty remark. Jihoon squinted at Hyunsuk, and chuckled in disbelief. Reality was hitting him and logic does not like that shit eating grin on Hyunsuk’s face.

“Hyunsuk, you’re setting me up? You, really? This is actually happening? Right before our flight to Japan?”

“Yeah. Tomorrow early morning at the Han River. You’ll have a few hours before we head over to Incheon.” 

Jihoon ruffled his hair and sat back into the couch. He sucked in a breath. Hyunsuk frowned, “you don’t want to? Sorry man, I really thought your vibes would’ve matched and-“

“Oh no no, hyung, I’m just...worried since we’re going to promote in Japan for the next two weeks and our schedules are so busy. It might end up hurting us both,” Jihoon confessed. “And it’s been forever since I last been on a date.”

“Nah I think you’re worrying way too much in advance. The policy is chill now and, hey, who can say no to waiting a few weeks for those abs,” Hyunsuk reassured. 

“Oh right, I’m going to flash my abs the fifth minute in,” Jihoon said sarcastically. He did make a mental note, though, because if you really are that cute? He’ll need that Plan G.

“Here, I’ll text you the address now. You better not flake and make me look bad.”

“HEY! What are you guys WHISPERING about!” Jeongwoo said, looking at them suspiciously. Simultaneously, the nonactive players of the game whipped their heads to stare at the pair.

“Nothing, the grownups are talking” Jihoon joked, dramatically nodding and shooting thumbs up at Hyunsuk. Jihoon left the resulting hysterics and sound of Hyunsuk cackling behind for the comforts of his room where he checked his buzzing phone. Turns out, Hyunsuk had attached the pictures of you, figuring he would give Jihoon that peace of mind (and a way to find you tomorrow) under the instructions.

Holy shit. 

Jihoon eyes widened. You are exactly his type. Jihoon couldn’t stop staring at your smiling features. The soft smile that colored his features never left his face for the rest of the night.

He couldn’t wait.

— Han River —

Wow ok, this is slightly worse than evaluation days, Jihoon decided, nervously kicking a small pebble around on the dusty road.

“Hey, Jihoon?”

Jihoon froze for a millisecond and turned around to face you.

You looked ethereal in the early morning sun. The light reflected off your lovely features, illuminating the kind glow of your smile. Jihoon made another mental note to treat Hyunsuk to dinner once they land in Japan.

“The one and only. Y/n?”

“Yes,” you nodded shyly. “It’s nice to meet you, Jihoon.”

Jihoon loved hearing his name coming from your lips. Which were so pretty and pink and—

Jihoon cleared his throat. “Likewise.” After a small pause, “Is there anything you would like to do in particular while we get to know each other?”

You laughed, the sound music to Jihoon’s ears. He wants to hear that all the time now, he decided.

“I actually really like taking pictures of random beautiful things that pique my interest! Maybe we can just go for a walk and explore what we find beautiful about the Han River?”

“Perfect,” Jihoon smiled widely, which somehow grew when he noticed the blush in your cheeks.

And that’s how you two somehow went from exchanging detailed introductions to sharing hobbies to discussing life goals and values, all while snapping amazing scenery pics. This developed into a made up game of taking the best picture, judged entire on a subjective and nondemocratic point system. The winner gets uncontested glory and a copy of all the photos of the loser’s captured moments. 

“HAHA, y/n I just got the spiciest photo of these golden bell flowers over this ledge!”

“What, how??” You whipped around from trying to make some daisies look aesthetic. The competitive side of you was taking over.

“I guess it’s one of the perks of being taller,” Jihoon said, hopping down the said six foot tall ledge he spent the last few minutes scaling. He dusted his pants off carefully and flashed you his eye smile. In a singsong voice, he said, “and one of those perks is winning this game~”

Yeah you were not about to risk a broken arm for that picture. “Okay, fine, but show it to me?”

“Nuh uh.” He flashed you the picture in one second bursts, having the best time teasing you.

Jihoon paused. He got so comfortable with you in the last hour that he just teased you like he does with the other Treasure members. His worries were interrupted at the adorable sight of you giggling. He internally sighed of relief.

“NuH uH,” you mimicked backed at him, reaching for his phone. 

Jihoon quickly yanked his phone above his head, dramatically leaned his body so it was out of your reach. Surprised, you tried to change course. But in the spur of the moment, the momentum carried you just a tad too far. You bump slightly into his chest. Jihoon instinctively grabbed at you to prevent you from losing your balance further, his hands falling on your waist. His large hands felt so warm through the fabric, his breath brushing as the top of your forehead. You were so close.

His eyes widened, heat rushing to his cheeks. For a second, your eyes meet. You wonder if he can hear the thundering in your chest.

Jihoon quickly let go and took a step back, slightly bowing at you. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to grab you like that!”

You could tell your face was absolutely flushed at this point, but you made a show of brushing off your outfit and stuck your nose in the air, “as long as you don’t have cooties.”

“Ooh,” Jihoon winced. “I definitely do. Exclusive, premium, limited edition cooties.”

You laughed, thankful he didn’t press you on the obvious blush. Although it’s not like his face was any better.

“Hey, y/n,” Jihoon said, pulling you out of your internal monologue. “This might be about it for the date. My phone has actually been blowing up with reminders to get back.”

Oh, You tried to hide the sadness in your face. The few hours you spent together seemed to fly by so fast, and you definitely longed for more. Within the span of the date, he showed just how incredible he is—unyielding dedication to his dreams, selfless outlooks on life, and a kind, hilarious and loving personality that felt like sunshine on a rainy day.

Jihoon noticed the quiet pause, and softly asked, “May I walk you home?”

You let out an airy laugh. “Not unless you want to walk 45 minutes in one direction and an hour in the other, Park Jihoon. It’s okay, I’ll take the subway!”

“Right, right,” Jihoon chuckled. You guys reached an intersection leading pedestrians away from the river sidewalk. The signs pointed to your destinations in opposite directions, which felt too meta for your taste.

Jihoon turned to face you.

“You know, golden bell flowers means anticipation in flower language.” He looked the most serious he has ever been all morning.

You mustered yourself to look into his eyes.

“That’s suitable, Jihoon, because I anticipate for you to call me as soon as you safely land and are available.”

“Deal.”

Numbers and addresses (for postcards, he claims) were exchanged.

“Jihoon, I had an amazing time today.” You said, suddenly feeling shy again. A part of you wished you could walk him back, but that would attract unwanted attention.

“Me too, y/n. Thanks for waking up so early to spend all this time with me.” Jihoon said, the tone of his voice so soft and genuine.

He shifted a little closer, eyes flickering to your lips. 

Your eyes widened. 

He leaned in and gently rested his hand against the back of your head. His eyes searched yours, asking.

Oh my god, yes please. You drew even closer in answer, eyes fluttering shut. 

Jihoon closed the distance. His lips gently pressed into yours, completing a perfect puzzle. The kiss was was warm, sweet and heartfelt. Your lips gently moved against each other, before you pulled slightly away for air. As your foreheads rested against each together, a warm wave unfurled in your chest.

Just a little more, you thought. Jihoon seemed to agree as you both lean in again, this time the kiss far less hesitant. Your hands rest against his chest while he cups your face with his. Jihoon pulled back, pushing a strand of hair behind your ears. His phone was aggressively ringing, you realize.

“I’ll see you, y/n.”

“I’ll anticipate you, Jihoon.”

He watched your retreating figure for a bit before he headed back to the dorm, giddy with joy.

— your home —

A few days later, a package arrived. It was from Jihoon. Your heart raced. 

He never mentioned anything about this in his calls, you excitedly thought. 

You slowly pulled out the contents, marveling at each one. A picture of the Han River reflecting the morning light. A dozen of printed photos he somehow took of you that day (you laughing at something you took, looking off into the river, and crouching over vegetation). A polaroid of him in the hotel room, “you better be missing me so damn hard” it captioned. You chuckled, touched by his gift. 

You were about to close the envelope until you realized there’s still one item left. You reached in. And you gasped.

A golden bell flower, pressed by hand. 

[loudestcloud]

Zoro fashion time! So the reason I chose to do Zoro nest and not go in my usual order is because his jacket in Enies Lobby is one I think about a lot so here we go! Let's talk: Zoro

First appearance: (Once again, I had to remove this pic to make room for the less iconic ones and as this one is well known, it's not really needed) I don't like this fit that much but it still nostalgic feel so it's here worth a mention. I do like when he has the headband on his arm, very cool n nice to show it's still there but it's very bland.

Arlong Park: Get that dad shirt, moss man!! This shirt looks like a baby blanket I have and now use as a headscarf so I love it but that being said, it also looks like a old lady fabric and that might not be some ppls jam but is is mine.

Drum island & Punk Hazard.: Now, i know what your thinking and I'll say it for you because you are absolutely right. He looks like Mint chocolate chip ice-cream and it's beautiful! In Drum island, The gloves are like a flake, the hood looks like cream, the sides look like lime sauce!! In Punk, it's more simple with the main coat being mint and the extras being the chips but both are ice cream themed outfit IN THE SNOW ARCS!! 😍

Arabasta: 4 good outfits in a row without missing am arc! Zoro has the best fit here and it's just because it's a nice difference to this rest of the fits in this arc. The rest just have plain colors or stripes save for Luffy (but thats cos it Luffy) I do actually really like this zebra coat and I think the orange is a nice contrast to the green. Color theory is cool, man!

Skypiea: Skipped a fit cos it was boring 😝 anyways, fuck yeah boy, show those skinny arms that are actually really strong! No more green middle part and white t but goggles? I love em n the vest color is quite a nice blue. So it's a win for me but I am biased cos I think Skypiea is my favourite arc-

Enies Lobby, Romance Dawn, Chopper's Kingdom & Clockwork Island Adventure: So the Enies Lobby jacket has a zip all the way up the collar? And I just- I don't wike it! But aside from that, the jackets are really nice! I like full open jackets for him, it's cute. Alsoooo Romance Dawn, Is that... Brown trousers? Wonderful change up. Chopper's Kingdom pulling it in with the shorts WITH STRIPES!! 🥳 and Clockwork Island with a towel? Sick, you do you, minty

Sabaody Archipelago: YESYES YESSSSS!!! THIS!! This fucking fit was and still is my favourite outfit he's ever had! I saw it ages before I even saw this arc and I remember yelling at the time I saw it and then saying 'are you kidding me? My favourite outfit and he almost fucking dies? ARE YOU KIDDING!?" It's a another open fit to show off that scar, it's a really nice fit and I like stripes!!! Annnnd boop, the headband is off the arm for the first time.

Little East Blue: Once again, this Little East Blue pulling in!!! It's just nice to see him in a darker t shirt but also RED!! Red Vs green, baby COLOUR THEORY!! 🥰

Wano: I am not here yet, but I do have this in Animal crossing on my kimono stand in my Zoro room so I can't ignore it lol. I do really like mint stripe at the bottom and the black spins, it's very stylish. It's kinda nice to see his old colors used in such a difference way and a touch of purple really makes a scene here. Also his change in footwear is a nice detail going from boots to what I think are geta? They might be Zori but they don't have super definitive teeth so I'm unsure but it's still nice and his hanao still look more comfy than Luffys Zori so 😅

Dressrosa & Strong World: um, yeah so the first 2 are basically the same fit but with a tie and a huge gun. It he's got a waist coat on in Strong like fuck yeah! Rock that 3 piece, dude! Then, the beautiful main outfit of the movie! It's 2 light browns and a red headband! What's not to love about it? You even get half the usual fit to time it in a bit so really it's the ideal fit for him. I love this headband cos it implies he's had different ones all this time just never uses them. (I headcannon that it's what most ppl get him for his birthday and this one is from Chopper) last, we also have Zoros only pink fit in this movie and it has only one button fastened. I like the side stripes, it's not too busy n that always good to see. The sweatpants also have a stripe n he has sandles on, we love to see it 😘

Film Z, Film Gold & Stampede: Brook knows his to dress his boys! Because let's remember lads, Film Z looks are all due to Brook in cannon. Gray is a super nice color for Zoro and the glasses are just such a nice touch plus trainers to keep you on your toes. Then, the iconic old pirate look yet still Samurai ish and a 180 color pallet flip! A master piece of a look really. Now, with Gold, it's a shame really cos we don't get enough of it. I say it cos it's actually one fit just without the jacket, tie and waistcoat! I love the white fits the get soooo much but my god is Zoro hiding the real beauty here. This shirt is 🤯 the blue looks LED but it's not it's just so cool! Stampede's outfit is definitely something I'd wear and comes with the added benefit of alcohol pouches (that I'd use for cool rocks I find on the ground instead cos I don't drink) I love orange on black and this is almost perfect amount. I only wish it have some on the front top as if he had it open, it'd be too big of a blank space but he has it open so 10/10 for this I guess!

Edit: I actually didn't have room for my favourite outfit and I only just realised so I might add it when I do Luffy cos they kinda do hand in hand, you'll see what I mean

This post was made listening to the Film gold soundtrack because it's by my favourite composert, Yuki Hayashi! He does the score for BNHA too.

Sanji

Luffy

Nami

[defensefilms]

Simone Biles Doesn’t Owe You Anything

It’s been absolutely hilarious to watch this.

The longer I watch sports, the more my favorite thing isn’t even the play on the court. More and more, my favorite thing is watching men and women in the media routinely lose their shit and pretend like their opinions are coverage.

American gymnast, Simone Biles withdrew from the 2020 Tokyo Olympics.

That’s not the interesting part though. The interesting part is how multiple grown men, over the age of 40, were on Fox Sports Radio making an absolute clown show of themselves because of a decision made by a 24-year old girl. 

That’s the era we live in.

Where guys with no athletic ability in their middle aged bodies, sit in studio spaces and discuss the athletic accomplishments and mental toughness of a young girl who is way more athletically accomplished than them. 

Multiple grown men telling people to man up, while requiring none of the same stoic behavior from themselves. 

There’s a certain wing of Fox Sports Radio that traffics in shock jock style commentary, not too dissimilar from what you’d hear on a station like WEEI. 

Doug Gottleib is a know hack and I’ll refrain from making any jokes about credit cards.

Ben Maller is a shit stain of all of sports media and no wonder he found his way to Fox sports.

The worst coverage though is by known republican sports pundit, Jason Whitlock.

I hate to be an asshole but anytime Whitlock’s name comes up, I can’t help but think that there’s no way this guy’s opinion can be valid about anything.

The guy’s talking about the mental toughness of a 24 year old girl, while looking like a landwhale. I’m not trying to be mean but he kind of leaves himself open to this kind of criticism. That’s not my fault, that’s between him and the scale to negotiate.

Seriously, Jason Whitlock can’t even win the day-to-day battle of basic impulse control and his health literally depends on it. Yet he thinks he can talk about Simone Biles?

Whitlock failed to get into the NFL as an offensive linemen at whatever backwater college institution herds his species of oversized warthogs. Then he failed at ESPN. Fox Sports gave him a shot with his own show, which got attention when he was talking about Kaepernick, and never any other time, so eventually he failed at that too.

Now he’s masquerading his race-baiting tactics as political commentary and hurling insults at people who are far more talented and important to their friends, families, loved ones and close associates than he is to his local restaurant economy.

Check out Jason Whitlock’s display of athletic excellence in the pic below if you don’t believe me.

People, you can go ahead and claim that I am some left leaning snow flake but how do you account for the middle aged men, who mostly lean right politically, and so does their audience, have the worst sports takes in all of sports media? 

I’m not the one who told these guys to monetize their audience’s political leanings and make it a part of their programming. 

The hilarious part about it is that these are the same guys that complain about ESPN not wanting to appear overtly racist and being too “woke”, which is fine if you have a problem with that, but then you watch their coverage and you’re like, “yeah, ESPN knew they had to put a leash on these idiots”.  

These are ESPN rejects. B+ players at best. Role players at best.

These are guys who couldn’t be star players on the most competitive team in their industry which is ESPN. This is the broadcast version of 2012 Brooklyn Nets, only none of them are as good as Pierce or Garnett are at what they do.

Colin Cowherd, Chris Broussard, Emmanuel Acho, Doug Gottleib, Marcellus Wiley. You think this roster is good enough to move the needle? 

This line-up could only exist in the social media era. You think you could go up against Dan Patrick and Keith Olbermann in their prime, with this?

[ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is]

hii, i wanted to ask a question about my bestie xx

i’ve typed her as an enfj bc she’s always seemed like a high Fe type to me and the enfj function stack and descriptions of them on various websites were describing her very well. me and her are very different “people-wise”: she always talks abt ppl behind their backs while maintaining friendly attitude talking WITH them, always compliments ppl to get something she wants(some of our teachers always loved her bc she knew how to get their love and trust); then me…i’m an isfp…totally opposite, i have only a few friends, i hate talking behind people’s back, never “sucked up” on anyone, including teachers(some of them still love me, but for different reasons), i can’t compliment people i don’t like(tbf, i can’t compliment AT ALL, very bad at words, unlike my friend) and etc. I also don’t like lying to people and friends, and she, on the other hand lies or manipulates her words quite a lot(sometimes it helps her getting what she wants tho, i must admit).

But i’ve noticed recently that she’s very secretive…like…really secretive. She never shows her true feelings or struggles to her friends(or me, at least, lmao)…We both keep our feelings inside, but I have high Fi and I thought this kind of way of dealing with emotions was kinda Fi-ish. Not that she shows her friends her fake emotions, but more like she deals with them on her own.

also, she’s very impulsive in terms of her interests? more than me sometimes(and i have aux Se)…she gets heavily invested, for example in her choice of her future career and has her future in this career all planned(what uni will she graduate, how successful she might be, how “cool” will she be, etc.) and she talks about it(her new interest/hobby or her career choice) so passionately, that you think “omg, she REALLY wants to be a therapist/marketing specialist/dentist/whatever”, and she seems really invested in it, but then she DROPS it…like, she suddenly “realizes” it’s not what she wants or that that profession isn’t as good/profitable as she thought. She also cancels plans last minute a lot. It can be her, who encourages and organises our friend group’s gathering, but then gets out of it last minute herself, sometimes trying to make really pathetic excuses(but sometimes they’re very well-thought, such as “my parents asked me to babysit my little siblings” so none of us could blame her for telling that she won’t go w us last minute). I’m not telling it’s always lies. I’m sure sometimes her parents really don’t allow her to go somewhere or ask to babysit, but why does she always tell us that last minute!? sometimes she does things for her own benefit, like she’d rather go out with a person who has a good camera(so they could take pics for her), rather than someone she’s closer to and will have better time with. she’s also very insecure deep down. me too, but i don’t want people’s approval as much as her. she’s always scared to gain weight or look bad to her boyfriend, even though he’s the nicest guy i’ve ever met and has always told her that she’s the most beautiful girl ever and he would love her no matter what. perhaps i could also describe her as “all talk, no actual actions” and it hurts me isfp ass very much :((

we also have a lot of passive aggression in our relationship, bc we’re both hate conflicts in some way, and sometimes supress our anger towards each other(i tend to sometimes burst out tho), so ig she’s more passive aggressive than me and never tells me what’s wrong, therefore i can never tell if i offended her or not. idk, maybe she thinks the sam abt me?

she’s not a bad person tho, she’s a good friend and we’ve been friends for a long time, but sometimes she acts very very strange and i’m not the only one who has noticed this.

maybe you could help me…from what i’ve described, does she seem enfj type 3(have difficulty telling what her wing is)? ty in advance ❤️

Based on this it sounds like you are both in your mid-teens, and so honestly I would just give it some time if you want to type her because while your personality certainly exists at this time, it’s very much in flux. A lot of this just sounds like she’s dealing with a lot of insecurity and expectations and it’s hard to say if it’s typology governing these actions or if it’s just like...being 16 or 17 (which is what I’ve assumed from this).

I’m not sure what her type is but here are a couple of things that might help you, and I will say that ENFJ doesn’t sound wrong given that assumed age. It could be - looking at ENFP or ESFP wouldn’t hurt - but a lot of her behaviors seem in line with high Fe and even with Ni I would expect a certain amount of impulsivity and indecision at her stage of development.

First, try to think about her in terms of who she is without comparing to yourself. I don’t know for sure if you’re an ISFP - you might be, or you might not be - so if you compare to yourself and you are mistyped then you’re working off an incorrect basis for comparison in the first place and that will make everything harder. Try to think how she compares to people you know in general - and especially your peers. Is she more impulsive than most of your classmates? Less? Around average?

Second, I have found the idea that high Fi users are more private and high Fe users are less private to be absolutely false; I think it is partly based on a Tumblr user who mistyped as an Fe user for a long time but then realized they were a high Fi user and was trying to make that fit and it’s persisted long past that. A lot of high Fi users, especially extroverted ones, are very expressive, and a lot of high Fe users can be private - Fe users are typically very attuned to what others think of them and so might keep their emotions on lockdown or hide them in order to elicit a certain response (Fe-dom 3s, for example, will absolutely do this). As a rule thinkers and introverts are more private with their emotions than feelers and extroverts but that’s about the extent of it.

And finally, and I tell most people this especially when they bring up not just a typology question but also some conflicts or personal difficulties; I get that you are asking me for help with MBTI, and that’s the main help I feel like I have any ability to give and I know unsolicited advice is often unwelcome so feel free to ignore, but: MBTI does not solve interpersonal (or intrapersonal) problems. It can be a very helpful and powerful tool, but knowing is only half the battle (or something). A person who knows literally nothing about MBTI but is an empathetic and thoughtful communicator who does not shy away from healthy confrontation will do better than a typology expert who lacks even one of those traits. If you want to know her type, review the first few paragraphs and see if that helps and feel free to revisit after some time, but if you want to like, know why she keeps flaking on you, then unfortunately getting over the fear of confrontation and potentially upsetting someone will be a far more effective use of time.