#non 24

[teleportzz]

pretty unlikely but are there any other autistic people with non-24 sleep-wake disorder out there who experience this odd mix of distress and jubilation when your sleep schedule realigns with polite society? on one hand, i'm happy that i get like a week or so of actually feeling well-rested and awake at school and like i'm part of the world and society around me, but on the other hand, i get kind of used to being awake at 3am when everyone else is asleep and the world is quiet, so i get very distressed and get sensory overload more easily because i'm reliant on being awake in the middle of the night to help me regulate

taking a shot in the dark here, i know, but if anyone else knows what i'm talking about i'd love to connect. maybe people with other circadian rhythm or sleep disorders like insomnia might also relate?

[whoselabelisitanyway]

I had plans to go walking with a couple people I have tried to maintain a friendship with since the car accident.

I ended up having to play stupid call back games with the pharmacy and my doctor because medicaid up and decided they wouldn't cover the meds they've been covering for over a year. (Totally blindsided.)

It made me very late. I was disinvited from the walk.

Bonus, pharmacy was out of second option meds. And I blew one of my last doses on this evening thinking I would need to be social and functioning.

I want to cry.

People only see me as the reason I'm late, or can't make an event, or whatever else is in my way. They don't understand what is going on behind the curtain. If I try to explain, I think they believe I'm making excuses. This person didn't even bother responding to my apology text.

I don't want this life. I didn't choose it. I need friends who see how hard I'm trying and not just me "making things hard for everyone else." I mean, I get it. I require a lot of extra effort. I know that - I live with myself every minute of every damn day. Of course I know that.

But I still need people. And love. And acceptance. I don't know how to find any of it.

[notebeans-galaxy]

(wakes up at 4 pm)

4 pm to 2 am: oh god i am so tired i can barely move or stay awake (in sleepy daze for 10 hours, intermittently going back to sleep from 4 to 7 pm)

2 am to 7 am: oh wow i have so much energy! i can actually do things!! too bad i can't do them because i'd wake people up and everything outside of my house is closed and there's nowhere to go (reads, watches tv, and plays video games)

(sun rises around 7 am, 20 minutes later): i feel physically drained like i walked several miles even though i spent my entire day laying or sitting down doing low effort activities

[oncillaphoenix]

having a circadian rhythm disorder counts as Horrors Beyond Your Comprehension i think. i mean. not beyond my comprehension, i've lived like this my whole life. but it certainly seems to be beyond everyone else's comprehension, including sleep doctors.

[inkskinned]

we heard that you were very disappointed in us both as a generation and specifically as a generation of women (emphasis yours), how we had let ourselves go and now we were slutty and ill-tempered and holding onto notions of feminism like "having a savings account" and "equality."

we were very sorry about it, we didn't realize. it is very hard for you, in your life, because your entire definition was centered around the word providing, and that's a really vague and undulating word. it is hard to be a provider. for your purposes, the word provider here can be defined as "having a job", although it sometimes also extends to "doing yard work", "grilling on occasion," and "knowing basic car anatomy."

we had to do some reading but we divided it out. do not worry. high-value women will fill in the rest of the gaps of your life - all those silly feminine things like doing the dishes. we didn't realize we had asked too much when we asked you to pick up after yourself. we did not realize you were rendered small and scared and crying about the possibility of doing the laundry. here is a joke to lighten the sentiment: a man that listens when you talk to him.

we heard about how we had fallen from glory and it sickened us and made us very, very sad. lindsey had to cut all her hair off and tara threw up. we lit one million candles and we are going to have a vigil about it tonight. all of the people in this world that you do not approve of are going to be there and we will all be in mourning colors because we have lost your respect which is of course the only thing that any of us were looking for.

we searched around our bedrooms and our closets and for some of us it took a while but we all found the pricetag that we were originally born with, the one that gave our listing offer, the one that smells like rot and pine needles. we were horrified because many of us had taken deductions and hadn't realized it. i had scraped my knees and decided to be a lesbian so they had to take my voicebox out so i could never call home again. janice had been with too many people overall so we had to put her into the big squisher that will hopefully collapse her walls so that when you're with her, you'll feel so big and powerful. it will be like you're conquering something instead of being close with someone.

we are all going to the funeral of feminism and we will tear at our bodies and fall over ourselves. we will invite you onstage for a live recording of your podcast about the occasional minor inconvenience of self-reflection. you will talk about how we have targeted you and made you feel the sweat slick down your back, and we will teach you basic self-defense out of solidarity.

do not worry, we are seeing to all the outliers. taylor asked to be taken seriously so we have shipped her off to prison. laura asked you to accept her femininity regardless of her presentation. you will be happy to hear all women are now and forever going to have to be small and thin and pretty and white and ablebodied and quiet and unassuming and ladylike, which is different than how society has previously told us to act.

i am going to have to shave off my jawline, which is a little masculine, and they are going to have to reshape my hands, which are very square and thick - all the work i've done with them has made their veins stand out, so we're just going to have to exsanguinate me. i am horrified to have been out in public like this.

we are going to sit around the campfire and we will talk about being weird little girls that made potions in pink teacups. we will talk about the first time we made a difference. we will talk about the private lives of crickets, and then, at the stroke of three in the morning (the witching hour, obviously) - we will all promptly shut up.

and this will be your beautiful world. this silence that spans every corner of every street and every zoom meeting and every alley. i do not think you'll notice at first - it will be the same as every television show and movie and book. we will all just simply sit there in our doll dresses and smile blithely at your advances and none of us will do you the dishonor of answering and none of us will appear to be in distress and none of us will nag you or make a fuss or get hysterical about it. it will just be quiet, and you will say finally, some peace for once! and we will smell of smoke and our teeth will be white and the next day will come.

tonight we are going to bury the last little bits of our humanity. you are not invited. it is going to be ugly.

[bookanimeart]

Any human who wants to cast the land into eternal darkness is going to have to either not know the hell that'll wreak on their own sleep cycle and those of their followers, but it really would happen if they did that, or have some plan to counteract it.

(It's Non-24 but for everyone.)

[heartorbit]

im never finishing this ＿|￣|○

[sonego]

letteralmente uno schifo immondo che in questo paese di merda si viene criticatə per una frase che dovrebbe essere così ovviamente e inequivocabilmente giusta e umana come "stop al genocidio" e si sente in risposta un comunicato in cui si esprime solidarietà con israele, con il colonialismo d'insediamento, con l'uccisione di decine di migliaia di persone, donne bambini uomini innocenti.

letteralmente ieri si è scoperto che una bambina palestinese di SEI anni di cui non si avevano più notizie da fine gennaio dopo l'uccisione da parte di israele dei suoi familiari è stata anch'essa uccisa. è rimasta chissà quante ore chiusa in macchina circondata dalla sua famiglia, tutti morti, ha chiamato i soccorsi spaventata in un modo che penso nessuno di noi potrà mai comprendere e ha aspettato le ambulanze. che sono arrivate a pochi metri dalla macchina, i paramedici pronti a salvarla, per essere invece uccisi insieme alla stessa bambina.

hind rajab, ricordatevi questo nome. sentite tutto il peso dell'orrore che si sta compiendo, che israele compie tutti i giorni e di cui l'italia è complice e non rimanete zittə e fermə a guardare. non lasciamo che si supporti un genocidio nel nostro nome senza dire un secco, potente, convinto, inequivocabile NO. ci vediamo in piazza.

[ashleyslorens]

AARON TVEIT in GRACELAND | 3x04: Aha for @cemeteryklaus

[tizzypizza]

how neo agent 3 saphia lost her smallfry / why nana doesn’t have a li’l buddy (in a world where the fuzzy ooze is corrosive)

[youthsbandana]

Having ADHD is just like:

I'm sorry.

I know it's inconvenient.

I'm sorry.

I know it's annoying.

I'm sorry.

I know it's selfish.

I'm sorry...

I know I shouldn't say sorry because an apology without change is manipulation.

I'm sorry.

I know I can't change my behavior; I've tried.

I'm sorry

[teleportzz]

fucking bullshit that i got diagnosed with "sometimes-lives-like-a-vampire" disease and it isn't even fun. it's actually kind of a nightmare

[whoselabelisitanyway]

Hello i couldn't help but notice that u offered urself up as a resource for info abt N24 (sorry if i got that wrong, feel free to ignore this.) So as someone who very recently found out abt it and also probably has it, do u have any resources? Links or articles or anything for me to look at? Anything you could/want to share abt it??

Hey! Yes, I'm happy to write about my experience with N24. (It's not fun, but it's reality for many people.) The sad thing is that I don't actually have many online resources as far as articles and such. A quick internet search showed me Non-24-Hour Sleep Wake Disorder: Definition and Causes | Sleep Foundation which seemed to be a good overview (more articles linked at the bottom of the page). It's very clear that there hasn't been enough research done in a practical sense, though. Treatment options are few, and there aren't any that are at all flexible. Which, I'll just say it, sucks.

For me personally, my N24 is pretty severe, with my days lasting about 30 hours or such, so that I'm awake for something like 20 hours at a time. None of the treatment options presented to me (melatonin and/or light therapy) were effective (I have unusual environmental factors against me, though). That doesn't mean you shouldn't try them, IMHO - but I would caution you against accepting whatever sedatives doctors are handing out these days. If that's their initial reaction/treatment advise, ask them if that medication is approved and tested effective for long term usage. (It won't be - if I'm wrong, lmk, because I'd like to be wrong.)

Lastly, I'll tell you a bit about how I got my diagnosis. The biggest factor was a comprehensive sleep diary. Sometimes they'll ask you to do a sleep study as well, to rule out other sleep disorders. A sleep diary is crucial in helping the specialist evaluate the progressive time changes in your sleep patterns. I recommend getting a low-cost sports watch (with a small profile so it's comfortable to sleep in) if you don't already have one. That was a huge help to me when I was documenting my sleep patterns.

I hope that helps! I wish I could give you better news, but I do believe it's preferable to know what you're dealing with than to not - even if it's not something with an easy fix. Let me know if you have any other questions - I am not a sleep doctor or physician, but I can speak to the realities of living with N24. If I can help others at all, I like to. Good luck!

[notebeans-galaxy]

holy shit theres few enough posts on tumblr dot com about non-24 that i can look through the non-24 tag and feasibly read every post in one sitting?

edit: it has been 10 minutes i have read all of them. there aren't any more. this is under both #non-24 and #non 24. i have probably talked about non 24 with random people online more times than people have posted about it on this website.

[sea-buns]

thinking about how deli p much saw a soggy cardboard box on the side of the road that said "FREE CAT" took one look at the infested little guy inside and was sold instantly

and then a couple years later the most feral violent scrappy yet pristine little hellspawn appears in his tent and starts leaving him rotting sacrifices and hes like yeah you can live with me and by my side and in my heart forever

[incorrect-splatoon]

The fact when asked, 8 doesn't talk to order, give me my new favorite headcanon :

Art by @judas-isariot and based on this dialog in Side Order (spoiler):

[Stay silent for a minute]

Marina: Oh, I forghot how shy 8 was.