#not after the cluster fuck of the last season

[fratboykate]

Hey!

I was reading your response to the "middle america" piece. I one million percent agree. The writing has been on the wall for years. These minority middle America folks aren’t going to the theme parks, seeing films, & paying for streaming. It’s the majority of the diverse demographic of the nation. As for the statistics the data is there! Yellow Stone is literally John Wayne crap with Costner as the lead. 1923 IMO was the show I could watch cause it shows how religious white folks were demons to Native Americans.

The “middle America” pockets are not deep. Also as for Mario…..🙄….literally parents are taking their kids to see that movie twice even three times and unfortunately gamers do have deep pockets and they will watch that nonsense.

I’m thinking Comic Book films took over one decade but video game series/films could take over the next. 🤷‍♀️

Yeah, superhero/comic book/marvel bullshit fatigue FINALLY seems like it might be a real thing but unfortunately you just guaranteed that it's simply going to be replaced by something equally as damaging to the health of the industry. Comic Books/Superheroes and Video Games are two sides of the same destructive coin. Also, y'all loveeeeeeeee to type on twitter about how "Hollywood is out of ideas" because all that's happening are reboots so why do you keep showing up to watch them??? Scream 6 was just the most successful of all of the franchises. Get ready to get Scream until they hit like Scream 37. It's a self fulfilling prophecy.

There isn't one studio or streamer right now whose bulk of the development slate isn't IP/reboots/remakes. Literally. This week alone we've heard of reboots for HP, Baywatch, Barbershop, Squid Game, The Big Bang Theory, Robocop, Poltergeist, Peep Show, Pink Panther, Fame, Legally Blonde (both tv and films - WHY?!), and that's not even the full list. FFS the ENTIRE business model for HBO Max moving forward is remakes and reboots. Then you have shit like Barbie which y'all are going to make A Thing. It's why studios have no desire to go out and find the people writing new content. Y'all are going to give Barbie a billion dollars and next thing you know we're going to see shows/movies for Barney, Hot Wheels, and American Girl. It's how this industry works.

The contraction in the industry is real. There's been a contraction in film for a decade now but the idea always was "well, at least TV is still producing quality, original things". TV peaked at about 600 shows a year a couple years ago. We're already down 1/3 to about 400 and that number is going to keep going WAY down over the next few years. That means, less risk, less representation, less quality. It's ALL going to be The Same Shit For The Same People and knowing you...you're simply going to keep watching. You'll have no one to complain to when all you can watch is the 162nd season of Property Brothers, MEGAN 12, and Throne Of Games: The Story Of The Lannisters's Third Cousin.

[peachdues]

Seasons in Love (modern college AU: Part 1/2)

Sanemi meets Y/N in January and isn't a fan. As the seasons pass by, their evolving relationship becomes defined by a handful snapshots from the various holidays throughout the year.

A/N: part 1/2 of my college-AU fic to fulfill @shiverisms request for tooth-rotting Sanemi fluff. Part 1 covers January, the Spring and Summer festivals, Halloween and the week leading into finals in December. Part 2 will cover Christmas Eve and New Year's Eve. This is unlike anything I’ve really written before, so sorry if it drags!!

CW: swearing, some suggestive stuff but nothing too bad. College-typical drinking and debauchery.

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

January 2nd – first day of the spring semester

Sanemi Shinazugawa hated many things. He hated the cold, because wearing too many layers made him feel like he was suffocating. He hated when the store was out of his favorite brand of dried seaweed. He hated whenever he saw that asshole, Douma, simpering his way across campus with a gaggle of unwitting freshmen trailing helplessly behind him.

But most of all, he hated change.

So, when Shinobu brought along a new face to their first family dinner of the new year, he’s not happy.

And initially, he felt vindicated by his reticence to welcome her as warmly into their friend group as some of the others, because, despite his friends’ kindness, she’d failed to even muster a grateful smile for her hosts.

Not once, during the entire affair, did the girl – Y/N -- so much as twitch her lips upwards; not when she met any of his friends, and certainly not at any of the jokes or fun they’d had.

It’s not that she’d been sullen and withdrawn — she’d participated in conversation just fine. But that bland stoicism on her face had really gotten under his skin, because it reminds him of Giyuu, and they’ve already got one of those.

Sanemi told Shinobu as much later that night as he kicked back in her worn, mismatched kitchen chair while the pharmacology student idly flipped through her biochemistry textbook.

“I’ll ignore the dig at Giyuu for now,” Shinobu said lightly, though her eyes flickered briefly up to his in warning, “but I would think you of all people would have a bit of compassion toward her, Sanemi.”

Sanemi reached out to snatch an apple from the little fruit bowl that Shinobu has on her kitchen table, taking a crude chomp out of it. “Why?” He asked, voice garbled by his thick mouthful.

Shinobu shot him a fleeting look of disgust at his lack of etiquette. “Do you remember that girl I was paired with in my mental health law seminar last semester? The one who dropped out of our final project last minute?”

Sanemi swallowed his mouthful of apple. “Yeah. You were pissed.”

And she had been. Shinobu had been stuck with doing the other half of an entire presentation just two days before it was due, and it had been on statutory interpretation which had not been Shinobu’s strongest area.

Shinobu’s scowled. “That’s because I didn’t know the reason,” she reached for a highlighter to mark text on the page open before her.

“Her little brother died. Cancer. He was only eleven.”

In one breath, all his prior irritation with the girl’s presence is extinguished within him.

Now, Sanemi felt like an asshole.

Because if anyone understood what it felt like to lose a loved one — especially one as young as eleven — it would’ve been him.

“Fuck,” Sanemi exhaled, apple falling to the table, forgotten. Absentmindedly, he reached his hand to rub at his chest, just over the jagged scar beneath his shirt that was one of the many souvenirs from the car wreck that had managed to kill everyone in his family but him.

That had been nine years ago — when Sanemi had barely been twelve.

He certainly hadn’t felt like smiling much after that, either. Truthfully, he’d probably be in far worse shape now had it not been for the people clustered in Shinobu’s and Mitsuri’s tiny apartment.

“She also got cheated on last semester,” Shinobu added after a moment.

Sanemi sighed heavily, feeling even worse. The poor girl had gone through what was arguably the worst semester, and he’d chapped her ass over not smiling.

“I didn’t know that — by who?” Tengen emerged from the adjacent living room, breezing by the table and into the kitchen to help himself to whatever was in the girls’ fridge.

Shinobu’s eyes hardened. “Douma,” her tone was poisonous.

Both Sanemi and Tengen groaned in unison.

“She deserves financial compensation for that one,” Sanemi muttered darkly, motioning for Tengen to toss him a beer. The sleazy, lazy, and arrogant student body President had earned the reputation of being a serial cheater around campus. Shinobu briefly had a fling with him their first year that she’d ended after only a few weeks, once it became all too clear that he was a master manipulator.

And, as Shinobu had referred to him, an utter man-whore.

Tengen padded out from the kitchen, beers in hand. “That explains why she doesn’t really have a friend group anymore, then.” He quipped, handing the extra beer to Sanemi before plopping down next to him at the table.

Shinobu hummed in agreement, hand seamlessly moving across the glossy page of her textbook as she made a small, precise note. “You know how Douma is — first he fucks you, and then he fucks you.”

Sanemi snorted, shaking his head. “So that’s why you feel so protective of her, huh?” He nudged her with his elbow. “You know what she’s going through.”

Shinobu shrugged him off. “Maybe; but so do you.” She said pointedly, hand flipping her textbook shut. “So maybe just try to be nice?”

“When the fuck am I not nice?” Sanemi demanded indignantly, and Shinobu shot him such a pitiful look that he felt his cheeks heat.

Tengen just laughed. “I think the real question is when are you ever?”

Sanemi glared at his loud-mouthed friend, but before he could respond with a snappy retort, Shinobu spoke.

“I’m not saying you have to be a saint, but I want Y/N to feel like she at least has some support here,” her tone was light but it carried that signature soft threat she used whenever she meant business. “so promise me you’ll at least try to get to know her.”

Sanemi groaned but acquiesced. “All right, all right,” he’d muttered, reaching back for his earlier-discarded apple. “I promise.”

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March 23rd – Spring Festival

As winter melted way into spring and the cherry blossom buds had begun to bloom, so did Sanemi’s friendship with Y/N.

He promised Shinobu that he would try to make the girl feel part of their group, and Sanemi is a man true to his word – but in retrospect, he hadn’t expected it to be this easy to become friends with her.

It started when they realized they shared three out of their four classes together. Sanemi walked into his first seminar at the crack-ass of eight in the morning on the first day of spring classes when he’d spotted her sitting in the second row from the front. Sanemi didn’t like most of the other people in his class, so sitting beside her had seemed like a no-brainer.

It had been the best decision he could have made. Y/N was smart as a whip, and often went toe-to-toe with the self-professed “devil’s advocates” during class discussions, managing to weave in Shakespearean insults while simultaneously ripping apart their inane arguments.

Soon, they began to meet up for study sessions at Mitsuri and Shinobu’s apartment, as Y/N had also become incredibly close with the two girls. Sanemi began to find himself at the girls’ apartment far more than he was at his own. In March, he discovered they had precisely the same tastes in music; within a day she had sent him several specially-curated playlists that featured bands similar to his favorite artists.

By the end of March, Y/N had announced her plan to move in with Mitsuri and Shinobu.

It wouldn’t happen until the end of the semester, when Y/N’s solitary lease ended, but she’d planned to move in right before she spent a month at home with her family – which also marked the first time she’d return home since her brother had died.

Sanemi wasn’t surprised at how quickly Y/N had bonded with his other female friends; she had a sharp, dry wit that matched perfectly with Shinobu’s lofty, passive-aggressive attitude, yet also seemed to find delight in spending time with Mitsuri, with whom she’d rapidly become attached to at the hip. Part of Sanemi had hoped that her friendship with the two women would lighten the shadows that crossed her face every so often, and that maybe she would finally crack a smile.

It wasn’t as if Y/N wasn’t expressive – she was, particularly around her eyes. More often than not, she was scowling at him or rolling her eyes at his barbs, but there had been a few occasions when he’d thought that he’d caught something softer as she looked at him. Other times, he saw an amused twinkle in her eye whenever Mitsuri challenged Tengen to an arm-wrestling contest, as though she were on the precipice of laughter, though none ever came.

Shinobu had suggested Y/N’s failure to smile was just a way of her processing her trauma and grief, and that she was doing everything she could to cope. Sanemi had not yet broached the subject with Y/N, not wanting her to feel compelled to open up wounds she was trying so hard to stitch together, but he worried that she wasn’t getting the support she needed.

Near the end of the semester, Y/N had become slightly more irritable, constantly jiggling a foot whenever she sat down, or wringing her hands in her lap whenever she was in deep thought.

Sanemi had agreed to study with her for their last final, but was on his last nerve as she continuously clicked her pen, each press of her thumb against the cap harder than the last.

“You have to stop.” He finally snapped, throwing his own pen down on his notebook before him to glare at her. “I can’t hear myself think.”

Y/N’s eyes widened in surprise at his outburst before lowering, her arms folding insecurely in front of her chest.

“Sorry,” she murmured, her foot beginning to twitch beneath the table.

Sanemi sighed and slammed his book shut, folding his hands under his chin as he braced his elbows on the table. “All right, out with it; what’s got ya all bent out of shape?”

Y/N didn’t meet his eyes, instead toying idly with the ends of her hair. “I don’t know what you mean.”

Sanemi rolled his eyes and huffed. “You’ve been squirming nonstop for the last two weeks, and it’s only gotten worse,” he nodded pointedly at the way she kept twisting and untwisting a lock of her dark, silky hair around her index finger. “Somethin’s bothering you.”

Y/N remained quiet for a moment, but contemplative, weighing out the risks and the rewards of opening up to the scowling man sitting across from her.

“I haven’t been home since – since he died,” She began, shifting slightly in her seat. “And I’ve felt really closed off from my parents ever since the funeral. We haven’t talked much at all.” She bit her lip, staring intently at the wooden grain of the table. “I guess I’m just anxious about going back.”

Sanemi clicked his tongue. “I gotta say, I don’t envy you right now,”

“Thanks.” Y/N interjected coolly, but Sanemi held a hand up to quiet her.

“I mean, that car wreck just killed my whole family, so I didn’t have to deal with anyone else’s grief but my own,” Sanemi continued, and Y/N fell silent. “I can’t imagine having to deal with someone else’s.”

Y/N’s hand had fallen from her hair to the table, and it twitched toward him. She hestitated for a moment before finally reaching over and placing her small hand on Sanemi’s broad, scarred forearm.

“Sanemi, I had no idea,” she said, softly. “I’m so sorry.”

Sanemi surprised himself by not immediately shrugging off her touch, but he found it hard to meet her eyes. Most people looked at him with pity, and he’d long since lost the ability to stomach it.

Y/N slowly pulled her hand back from his arm, moving to wipe furiously at her eyes.

“Ah hell, I didn’t mean to make ya cry-“ Sanemi said, cursing himself for trudging up what had to be painful memories.

She shook her head furiously. “No, it’s not that,” she batted the tears from her eyes before meeting his gaze head-on. “I’ve just felt so…alone these last few months. Like I was drowning in my grief.”

Sanemi felt something within him stir at the intensity of her stare, something warm and comforting spreading through his chest. “But you’re not,” he said with equal quiet, offering her a small smile. “It’s the worst club to be a part of – the dead family club – but it’s nice knowin’ someone else in it.”

Y/N nodded, and Sanemi could swear he saw something like a ghost of a smile on her face, but it was gone as soon as it came.

“If things at home get too hard to deal with this summer,” Sanemi said after a pause, “just call me. Any time.”

And damn him if he didn’t feel like he could soar at the look of hope in her eyes.

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July 15th – Mid-Summer Festival

Summer had passed by slowly and lazy in the blazing heat.

Sanemi had spent the majority of their break at the Rengoku family lakehouse, working alongside his best friend as a lifeguard at the local swim club. When he wasn’t shouting at kids for being walking lawsuits as they ran alongside the pool and drinking cheap beer with Kyojuro, he had been texting Y/N – outside of their active group chat.

It was insane to him that she’d become as close with him as he was to Kyojuro. Sanemi had found her so easy to talk to, even over the phone, and eagerly checked for her messages the moment he awoke and the moment before he fell asleep. Once or twice, Kyojuro had even grumbled that Sanemi rarely texted the group chat back but seemed to have no trouble responding to one of Y/N’s many memes or song recommendations.

But now, the whole gang had reunited for a holiday weekend at the Rengoku lakehouse to celebrate the mid-summer festival with a cookout and fireworks.

Translation: they’d all come to get absolutely plastered while enjoying some fun in the picturesque water surrounding the generous estate.

It was day two of the festival weekend, and six of them were in the water, locked in a fierce battle of chicken. Y/N was perched on Sanemi’s shoulders as she wrestled Mitsuri, who was close to strangling a sputtering Kyojuro with her thighs as she desperately tried to remain upright. So far, he and Y/N had knocked out the other pair — Shinobu and Giyuu -- and were vying for the title of Chicken Champions.

Sanemi wouldn’t lie that he’d initially felt a bit smug over how Y/N had darted forward to grab his arm when Mitsuri announced the need to partner up. He’d thought it was because of his strength — he knew he was jacked, and he assumed that she had (correctly) concluded that she stood the best chance of winning if she climbed atop his shoulders.

“I won’t let you fall, princess.” He’d crooned, winking at her. She’d rolled her eyes at the use of his nickname for her, and he’d puffed his chest out, feeling a cocky sense of pride.

As it turned out, he’d been dead fucking wrong. Y/N hadn’t chosen him because he’d looked the strongest.

No. She’d chosen him because he was the only one she could get away with outright abusing in her ruthless play for the championship.

“Left, left, left!” She screeched, fingers snaring in his hair to wrench him harshly to the side, her heels digging sharply into his abdomen beneath the water as she desperately tried to steer him away from Mitsuri’s incoming flailing limbs.

Somehow, despite the searing pain in his scalp and the spray of lake water in his eyes, Sanemi had managed to follow her directions and the pair managed to narrowly avoid catastrophe. But Y/N wasn’t finished, as she tightened her shapely thighs around Sanemi’s neck to twist him back so she could lunge for the pinkette now unsteady atop of Kyojuro.

Sanemi had never been more grateful that the water covered him from the waist-down, as Y/N’s thighs clenched around his head once more as she shoved at her best friend with all her might.

Mitsuri had been too unbalanced to resist Y/N’s attack, and she finally toppled off Kyojuro’s shoulders and splashed into the water.

“Chicken Champs!” Tengen declared from the shoreline where he had been refereeing, more interested in working in a tan than he had been in getting in the water.

“I knew we’d win.” Y/N sniffed, tapping Sanemi’s head lightly. “I didn’t scalp you, did I?”

But Sanemi couldn’t answer because he was fighting a losing battle to conceal the growing bulge in his trunks, fearful that if any of his friends saw, they’d never let him live it down.

He’d known he was in trouble when she’d first emerged from the girls’ room in that tiny red bikini. For the last three hours, he’d been constantly reminding himself that she was his best friend and was therefore off-limits every time he’d caught his eyes lingering a second too long on her exposed skin and that he valued their friendship above all else.

But those rationalities were getting harder to remember the longer he felt her legs dangling over his chest, and his self-control was rapidly slipping.

So, upon Tengen declaring their victory, Sanemi did the only thing he could think of to escape his predicament— he slid his hands under her knees and dumped her into the water behind him, Y/N squeaking as she fell.

By the time Y/N’s head breached the surface of the lake, her eyes blazing and ready to fight, Sanemi had already been halfway back to the lake house, with nothing but a cold shower on his mind.

-------------------------------------------------------

Later that night, once everyone was thoroughly shit-faced and Kyojuro and Tengen were itching to light the fireworks, Y/N was nowhere to be found. Sanemi broke away from the group, heading towards the boat dock just down a grassy hill when he’d spotted her sitting on the edge of the pier. She was leaning against one of the posts, legs dangling into the water below as she gazed up at the brilliant expanse of stars twinkling in the night sky.

“It’s about time to watch a bunch of drunk assholes blow shit up.” He said, crouching down to sit beside her.

Y/N merely turned her head toward him before looking away again, remaining quiet. Her eyes were clouded and wistful as she peered up at the sky, her lower lip wobbling slightly.

In moments like these, Sanemi had learned the best thing he could do was stay silent. If she wanted to talk, she would, but sometimes, she just wanted him near.

The two were quiet for a moment, the only sounds being the slow lap of the lake water as it broke against the wooden pier, and the distant echoes of laughter as Kyo and Tengen drunkenly tried to set up the firework display.

“It’s been eight months since he died,” Y/N broke the silence, her voice soft. “And I hadn’t even realized. I was so swept up in having fun that I forgot about him for a moment.” She looked down at her lap, fingers twisting nervously together. “I must be awful.”

Sanemi shook his head, his hand itching to reach out and pat her back, to offer her comfort, but it remained still on the wood beneath him. “Nah. Not awful.” He lifts his gaze up to the stars twinkling above them, the mid-summer night sky resplendent with light. “It’s shitty to say, but sometimes you’ve gotta remember that you’re still livin’— even if they’re not.”

Y/N snorted, bringing a hand up to wipe at the tears that had begun to cling to her eyelashes. “That’s a harsh way of putting it.”

Sanemi grimaced, resenting how poor he could be with words. “I meant that he wouldn’t want you to keep yourself from living just because of him.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “What brought it on, anyways? I mean, what reminded you?”

Y/N leaned her head back against the worn post of the pier, chewing on her lower lip in thought. “I guess when Kyo mentioned it was almost time for fireworks. My brother loved the summer festivals, but he really loved the fireworks.” Y/N’s eyes slid shut momentarily as she reminisced, echoes of vibrant colors and the sounds of her brother’s laughter echoing in the corners of her mind. “He’d beg my parents to stay up past his bedtime to watch them. They used to tell him ‘No,’ but he kept sneaking out to watch them anyways. They eventually just gave in.”

Y/N paused, as she wove the connection between the memory in her head with the heaving feeling in her heart. “I guess that’s why I came down here.” She shrugged, as though to deflect the pain and loneliness that curled her shoulders forward, that still lurked in the shadows beneath her eyes. “Didn’t wanna drag the group down, you know?”

Sanemi looked back to Y/N, so beautiful beneath the starlight, so kind, and so very sad.

“I don’t think anyone would think you’re bein’ a drag,” Sanemi murmured. “But tell ya what — if you’re ever feeling down again while we’re all together, how about you give me a signal and we can dip out together ‘til you feel better?”

Y/N sniffed eyeing him incredulously. “A signal?”

Sanemi nodded. “Yeah, like — I dunno — a code word or something?”

Y/N pursed her lips as she looked back over the still water of the inky lake, considering.

“How about ‘chicken?’ In honor of our win today?” She said after a moment.

Sanemi grinned. “Perfect.”

The telling whizz and whirr of fireworks being launched into the sky cut Y/N off before she could reply. With a resounding boom! the night sky filled with bright streaks of red, white, pink, and yellow. Between the pulsing claps of the thunder of the fireworks, Y/N and Sanemi could hear the distant whoops and hollers of their friends.

Y/N’s eyes were locked on the dazzling display of fire and spark above them, a mixture of sadness and wonder glistening within them.

Later that night, just as Sanemi had been on the precipice of sleep, he’d realized he had not seen a single firework that his friends had launched in celebration of the summer festival.

Because while Y/N’s eyes had been fixed on the beautiful show of color in the night sky, Sanemi had not been able to look at anything else but her.

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October 31st -- Halloween

“Stop moving your face,” Y/N said exasperatedly to the scowling, white-haired man sitting before her. “You’re going to mess me up.”

Sanemi wanted to crack an eye to glare at her, but he feared she might stick one of her makeup brushes in his eye socket if he did. Instead, Sanemi clenched his jaw, fists balling in his lap.

“You’re taking for-fuckin’-ever,” he muttered, wincing slightly as Y/N dabbed a cold, gel-like substance against his cheek.

“I’m not the one who picked the most high-maintenance costume out of our entire group,” Y/N scoffs, pulling away from Sanemi to blend together a mixture of red, brown, and gray face paint to apply on the fake wound she has created along Sanemi’s sharp cheekbone.  “I mean seriously, a wolf demon? Why not just go as a regular werewolf?”

It is Halloween and Sanemi regrets ever agreeing to a group costume theme.

It had all started when Shinobu, Mitsuri, and Y/N had come to their weekly family dinner a month prior with wicked gleams in their eyes. They had waited until everyone else had been seated before Shinobu announced that not only had she gotten all their names down on an invite list for an exclusive Halloween party at the Wisteria House the following month, but they would all be dressing up as part of a group theme.

Tengen, Kyojuro, and Gyomei had each expressed excitement while Giyuu, Obanai, and Sanemi had remained silent, though the latter only did so because he was too busy gaping at the girls, his mouth full of food.

“Tell me you three’ve already figured out the theme,” Tengen had said, his magenta eyes alight with excitement. “I want to be the flashiest group in that fucker.”

Mitsuri’s smile had only grown wider. “Mythical monsters - specifically demons!”

Sanemi’s groan had been cut off by a sharp kick under the table from Y/N, who was glowering at him threateningly. One look from her, and he’d known arguing would be pointless.

And that was how Sanemi had found himself now, on Halloween night, sitting stiffly on the worn-out ottoman in the girls’ apartment while Y/N smeared liquid latex across his cheeks to create the fake appearance of claw marks.

Mitsuri was on the other side of Y/N, painting fake slits on either side of Obanai’s mouth to give him a more snake-like appearance to suit his Snake Demon attire. The moment Sanemi had seen Y/N’s hands free up after she had put the finishing touches on Shinobu’s Butterfly Demon makeup, he’d nearly toppled over the coffee table to claim her before Kyojuro could sit down and occupy her time.

Truthfully, Sanemi had just wanted the chance to be near her. She was already decked out in her full Spider demon costume; her face painted a ghostly shade of white and accented by red circles meant to mimic the appearance of spider eyes. Sanemi, however, had miscalculated one crucial detail in his haste to be the only one of the men that she touched to do their makeup — how skimpy her costume would be.

Y/N was clad in a thin, white wrap dress that cut short just above her mid-thigh. The dress, though sleeved, also boasted a deep v-neck, and Sanemi was avidly trying to avoid staring at her exposed cleavage, which had also been painted and dusted with a shimmering powder. Her legs were bare, covered in the same glitter as the rest of her skin, and she was already teetering around in heels that Sanemi knew damn well would not stay on her feet longer than an hour.

In fairness, Y/N’s costume wasn’t nearly as skimpy as her pink-haired friend’s. Mitsuri insisted she was going as a cat demon, but Sanemi failed to see the correlation between the black unitard with the plunging neckline and anything remotely feline.

Y/N’s fingers brushed against his cheeks as she dabbed a mixture of paint to create the appearance of blood and Sanemi wills them not to heat under her touch. The task is nearly impossible, however, because he felt like he was being electrocuted every time she brushes against him. That feeling was only accentuated every time she moved to lean over him and pick up yet another beauty tool, the sweet honey of her perfume more intoxicating than the shots Tengen had made them pound earlier.

Sanemi was so lost in thought as he reveled beneath Y/N’s heavenly touch that he failed to notice her step back, eyes scrutinizing his face as she considered her handiwork. Sanemi cracked an eye open and watched her nod in satisfaction, finally dropping her makeup brushes on the side table.

“You’re done.” She said, tapping his shoulder to motion him to stand. Y/N thrusted a tiny makeup mirror in his hand so he could inspect.

She’d turned his existing facial scars into fake, bloodied, fresh ones, but elongated them to give the appearance of claw marks. She added an additional vertical scar that extended from above his right eyebrow to nearly his cheek. All in all, Sanemi thought he looked -

“Scary!” Mitsuri exclaimed, eyes widening softly. “He’s sure on theme — he’ll terrify people!”

Y/N clicked her tongue in disagreement. “No, I don’t think he looks scary,” she tilted her head in thought, Sanemi feeling slightly embarrassed as the two girls continued to look him over.

“I think he looks…,” Y/N paused, her eyebrow quirking up suggestively as her eyes lit up, dancing with a challenge. “Feral.”

Sanemi grinned at her, purposefully bearing his teeth in an effort to look as wolf-like as possible.

Tengen came back into the living room from where he and Kyo were doing shots and winked at his silver-haired friend. “You’ll still be able to pick up girls looking like that, Shinazugawa.”

Sanemi doesn’t know why, but the comment irritated him, and he turned away from the group to hide his reddening face.

He doesn’t see the way Y/N’s eyebrows furrow at the comment.

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It was two in the morning, and they are all utterly inebriated.

The Wisteria House — an exclusive club that Shinobu had only been able to get them into because of her connections to one of its proprietors — had been pulsing with music and lights as throngs of costumed revelers had ground to the thunderous beat of the music.

The group of them had thrived beneath the black light of the club dance floor, getting drunk on endless rounds of shots and mixed drinks that kept flowing from the bar like a waterfall of spirits.

But now, it was after two in the fucking morning, and somehow Sanemi had been stuck with corralling not one, but two drunk assholes back into their apartment despite being intoxicated himself.

The two assholes in question were also arguably the biggest lightweights out of all their friends — Mitsuri and Y/N.

Six of them had agreed to call an Uber to take them all back home to their apartments, but Kyojuro had gotten the whole group kicked out after he’d thrown up all over the driver’s pristine leather seats.

The blonde had been nearly unconscious when Tengen and Giyuu dragged him out the side of the car, and neither of them could stand to haul their blacked-out friend back to the boys’ apartment by themselves. But someone had to stay back to walk the two drunk girls back to their apartment because none of them were stupid enough to risk letting the girls walk by themselves - which was how Sanemi found himself in the position of the official babysitter of the two, shit-faced girls who stumbled along the pavement next to him.

“Kanroji — no, god dammit, st-op tryin’ to run,” Sanemi growled, his words a little slurred as he lunged to grab onto the pinkette’s arm as she tried yet again to take off into the night, giggling about how she wanted to run and feel free.

Mitsuri began wailing because Sanemi is a big meanie, but she shuffled along beside him in resigned obedience. Sanemi bit down on the litany of curses threatening to spill from his lips as he whipped around to lay eyes on the other girl he’d been charged with escorting safely home.

Y/N was limping along, about ten feet behind her friends, her legs quivering from exhaustion thanks to those fucking heels she’d insisted on wearing. How she’d managed to remain upright and not snap both her ankles was a mystery to Sanemi, but right then, he was annoyed and wanted nothing more than to slump home and pass out in his own bed.

“Y/N!” He barked behind him, the girl’s face blearily looking up in alarm. “March!”

“‘Nemiiii,” she whined, stumbling slightly as her balance shook. “I can’t — hiccup — go any faster.”

Sanemi ground his teeth. “Try harder.”

Y/N managed to flip him off before stumbling again. “Mitsuri’s right, you are a meanie.”

Sanemi had had it; it was nearly three in the goddamn morning, and somehow the man with the least amount of patience had been stuck with the two drunkest shitheads in his circle of friends, and those shitheads were keeping him from embracing the sweet oblivion of drunken sleep.

So, he snapped.

Hand still wrapped firmly around Mitsuri’s forearm, he stomped back to Y/N, tugging his other friend helplessly along behind him. Standing before her, Sanemi crouched and turned to glare up at his swaying best friend.

“Climb on. I ain’t arguing.” He ordered, and to her credit, Y/N complied, looping her arms across Sanemi’s sternum and locking her legs around his waist. He thinks she would have put up more of a fight had her feet not been about to fall off.

“No fair! I wanna be carried!” Mitsuri whined, tugging at his arm.

Sanemi just trudged along, relief flooding him as the girls’ tiny apartment comes into view. “You know how to walk in heels, Kanroji. She doesn’t.” He jerked his head back to the half-unconscious girl clinging to his back.

By some miracle, Sanemi and the girls finally arrived at the apartment, and Mitsuri was at least coordinated enough to fumble for her key to unlock the front door.

Once inside, Sanemi kicked the door shut behind him, and Mitsuri broke free from his hold, half-sprinting into the kitchen to chug some water.  Sanemi readjusted his grip on Y/N’s legs and moved towards her closed bedroom door, ready to dump her on her bed and go the fuck home.

“We made it!” Y/N’s sleepy voice murmured in his ear. Sanemi grunted in response, moving to deposit her on the soft down of her mattress when he felt her lurch forward on his back.

He was about to snap at her for being difficult when he felt the sloppy press of a soft pair of lips against his ear.

“Thanks, ‘Nemi.” Y/N said sleepily, falling off his back in an unceremonious heap on her bed. She sunk into the ridiculous array of pillows and blankets she insisted on piling onto her mattress.

Sanemi realized she’d been aiming for his cheek, but had missed in her drunken stupor. Nonetheless, his ear burned where her mouth had been, and he felt slightly hot under the collar of his flannel shirt.

“Drink some water so you’re not violently hungover tomorrow, idiot.” Was all he said as he moved to leave her room and finally, finally, return to his apartment.

“‘M-Kay. Love you.” Y/N slurred, and Sanemi froze. “Love my ‘Nemi. You’re my bestest friend in the world.”

Sanemi’s heart thumped wildly in his ears, though the slight lead of disappointment sunk in his gut. She loved him like a brother, of course — not as anything — as anything more than that.

Sanemi moved to exit the apartment, checking to ensure Kanroji hadn’t fallen asleep on her back, and pausing only to place a trash can next to where she was passed out on the couch. He softly closed the door behind him and began to make his way back to the apartment he shared with Kyojuro and Tengen.

Sanemi’s feet stumbled slightly on his journey as his mind reeled. His ear still burned from Y/N’s kiss, and her words echoed and clanged around in his head until he could hear nothing else.

Somehow, Sanemi ends up in his bed, sleep rapidly creeping up on him as his eyelids grow heavy. In his haze, he thought about how, despite being in a club surrounded by her friends and drunk off her ass, she’d still failed to smile even once.

As he drifted off, he thought about how empty and cold he felt now that he is no longer bearing Y/N’s warm weight on his back. Though he’d only been carrying her, she had felt indescribably good in his arms, and Sanemi cannot think of much he wouldn’t do to be touched by her again.

--------------------------------------------------------

December – one week before finals.

A snowstorm had blown through their city that afternoon.

Though, perhaps “snowstorm” was too light of a description; in a matter of hours, an outright blizzard had dumped nearly three feet of snow across town and had utterly and thoroughly fucked the roads. The university had no option but to cancel classes through at least the end of the week.

Sanemi had looked forward to a night in, preferably with some video games and maybe some of his boys. It had been a long, strenuous week; truthfully, he felt like killing some virtual monsters.

It seemed, however, that his friends had other ideas as to how to spend their newly-freed evening, and of course it involved doing the exact opposite of what Sanemi had hoped to do.

He’d been in the middle of frying an egg for dinner when his phone began vibrating. He’d ignored it at first, until it nearly buzzed itself off his counter, Sanemi having to jolt to catch it in his hand before it hit the cracked linoleum of his kitchen floor.

His phone was steadily buzzing with new messages in the group chat. Swearing slightly under his breath, Sanemi unlocked his phone and scrolled up to see the message that had prompted the flurry of reactions and enthusiastic agreements from his friends.

It had started with a message from Tengen.

Quad. 20 minutes. Snow ball fight.

Sanemi groaned and responded only to tell Tengen to fuck off. But then Y/N had replied that she and the girls were on their way, and she’d called him a baby bitch for sitting out, so he’d had no choice but to bundle up in his thickest flannel and sweater and head towards the quad.

By the time Sanemi trudged his way through the shin-deep wintry sludge, a full-on war was being waged on the campus green. Though it was nearly midnight, the snow illuminated the winter wonderland around them, and Sanemi could see all his friends and a few other straggling students engaged in a fierce battle.

He scanned the quad for a sign of Y/N and spied her about 20 feet away, swathed in a thick, wool coat and hat, crouched slightly behind a tree. Beside her was a small pile of densely packed snowballs, like a stockpiled winter arsenal.

“Ya know you’re supposed to throw the snowballs, right?” Sanemi chided, sidling up to where she stood, just off the snow-covered walk of the green. She had two snowballs clutched in her gloved hands, but her eyes were fixed on someone, her tongue darting out between her lips in concentration as she calculated her next move. “Like, actually throw ‘em at people.”

Y/N tore her eyes off whatever target she’d locked onto to give him a withering glare. “I’m trying, smart-ass, to figure out the best way to hit Gyomei in the face,” she turned away from him once more, resuming her careful assessment of the tallest target on the quad, who was busy pelting the back of Giyuu’s head with scary precision.

Sanemi’s grin turned wicked. “Kinda sadistic of you to target the blind guy, isn’t it?” He goaded, bending down to scoop up and a handful of snow for himself.

Y/N whipped around at him, eyes blazing. “He’s throwing snow chunks at people, you fuckhead, and all is fair in war-“

Y/N’s rant was cut off as a well-packed sphere of snow smashed into the side of her face. She dropped the snowballs she’d been holding, her hand jumping up to her cheek in shock, as the skin beneath it stung from the icy bite of the snow.

Sanemi let out a hearty laugh. Y/N stood there, mouth gaping and dark hair plastered to the wet of her cheek, an adorable mix of both shock and indignation on her face.

Behind him, Sanemi heard Mitsuri’s tinkling, mischievous laughter.

“Motherfucker,” Y/N breathed, staring after her roommate, her eyes lighting up with a promise of swift retribution.

“Oh come on,” Sanemi laughed again at her, open and deep. “You had it coming — that’s what you get for tryna hit the blind -“

An explosion of ice and water smacked into the side of his face, soaking his hair and the collar of his jacket.

Y/N whirled to see Obanai wink at her before he took off to join Mitsuri to guard her against the onslaught flying snowballs.

Y/N turned back to Sanemi and gasped.

Obanai had not just thrown a snowball packed from the generous coating of fresh, pristine powder that covered the green; rather, he’d made a small grenade, using snow and slush gathered from the side of the road.

Gray snow dripped from the side of Sanemi’s face, soiling his cheek, and staining the cream sweater he had on beneath his jacket. Sanemi was frozen in his surprise at being caught off guard until a small, unfamiliar sound snapped him out of it.

The source of the sound made his heart drop to his stomach.

It was Y/N, who was staring up at his soiled face, watching as the black snow slid down his cheek and dripped onto the ground below him.

And she was laughing. Laughing at him.

The sound that rattled from her chest was neither a snicker nor a snort; it was a raspy, raucous cackle. Her head was tipped back slightly, as she gawked up at him, her eyes crinkled with mirth as she vaguely gestured to the smear of gray on his cheek and dissolving into another fit of giggles.

Laughter subsiding slightly, Y/N stepped forward and swiped her hand through the sludge still gathered on Sanemi’s face in a poor attempt to wipe the gray stain away. She realized it was futile though and looked instead at her now-dirtied palm in slight distaste, wiping it against the black wool of her coat.

She peered back up at him and smiled, broad and radiant.

That exhilarating smile faded, however, as Sanemi stood there, motionless, his eyes wide and his mouth slightly parted, shocked into silence.

“Sanemi, what-“ Y/N started, a frown tugging at the corners of her mouth.

“Do it again,” Sanemi whispered, breathless. He’d not blinked or dared to do so in case he might miss it. “Smile again.”

Y/N’s eyebrows knit in confusion before softening. She’d not realized she’d even done it.

But Sanemi looked so awestruck, so desperate that she couldn’t deny him. So, she grinned broadly at him, cheeks almost burning after months of non-use, though she could not find it within herself to care.

Sanemi slowly returned the smile, pure joy illuminating his features. And they both began to laugh, without restraint, even as snowballs continued to whizz by them.

By the time the snowball fight had ended, Sanemi was soaked to the bone.

Admittedly, he hadn’t been paying attention to the slushy projectiles that had been lobbed with precision by the carefree college students who had gathered on the quad. His attention had been exclusively on Y/N as she pranced and ducked through the snow, smiling and laughing with abandon.

She’d been exquisite to watch.

One by one, his other friends had caught notice, had pricked their ears at the sound of an unfamiliar laugh that rang through the campus green, and turned to identify the source. As they watched Y/N run and duck and throw with that broad grin on her face, they too, had fallen still, their eyes going soft as they realized the enormity of the moment.

Because when Y/N smiled, she was a completely different person.

She looked bright, carefree, and more radiant than the sun. The resplendence of her smile made the snow look ugly and dull in comparison.

Mitsuri had watched her best friend with tears in her eyes, and Shinobu had looked close to joining her.

All the while, Sanemi had been unable to tear his eyes from her, and the warmth that he felt spread through his numb fingers and cheeks made him swear that he would do anything, anything at all, to make Y/N smile again.

—————————————————————————

Sanemi felt as though he was levitating even after he dropped Y/N off back at her apartment. He may as well have been floating on a cloud as he made his way down the hallway of the dimly lit hallway of the girls’ apartment complex, because he’d finally seen Y/N smile, had seen her laugh, and it was goddamned glorious.

Mitsuri emerged from the hall stairwell, cheeks pink and eyes bright from the evening of fun in the cold. She giggled as she saw the gray stain still on Sanemi’s face from the sludge ball he took.

“I would say ‘sorry,’ but honestly, it was pretty funny,” Mitsuri teased, nodding at his disheveled appearance. Sanemi snorted, but he couldn’t feign annoyance or irritation because he felt so damn good.

“Tell your boyfriend to watch out tonight, or else he might find his bed outside.”

Mitsuri giggled again, but then fell quiet, something more serious crossing her face.

“When are you going to tell her you’re in love with her?” She asked, her voice low.

Just like that, Sanemi felt as though a bucket of ice water had been thrown over him, as though he was crashing right back down to earth under the weight of the accusation she wanted him to answer for.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said gruffly, averting his gaze so he did not have to meet Mitsuri’s knowing stare.

Sanemi knew Mitsuri could see right through his bullshit — could tell by the way she huffed at him and could see it out of his periphery in how her head was cocked at him. He looked back at her and nearly recoiled at the vast pity swimming in her jade eyes.

“Fuck, Mitsuri,” he groaned, leaning against the hall wall and letting his head fall back against it with a thud. He ran a hand over his exhausted face, and slightly resented the fact his friend had always been so discerning in the affairs of the heart.

“I can’t put that kind of pressure on her,” Sanemi admitted quietly after a long moment, arm falling back down to his side, limp.

Mitsuri had been right, of course, he was in love with Y/N. He’d suspected it for a while, but seeing her radiant smile that night only confirmed that the persistent twisting he had felt in his heart over the last few months had been more than mere longing. 

But Sanemi also knew he’d long been toeing a line that he can’t cross.

“If things between us went south, what then?” Sanemi continued, “We’ve been friends since we were kids. She’ll feel like she’s the one who has to leave, and I-“ Sanemi hesitated, shaking his head. A lump formed in his throat, threatening to suffocate the emotions that have been fighting to break free from his heart. 

“It would be fuckin’ selfish of me to take that from her after she’s tried so hard to build herself a support network. I can’t do that to her, ‘Suri.”

The pink-haired woman sighed and joined him as he leaned against the wall, the two staring off into the empty space before them.

“She is a part of our group, that’s true,” Mitsuri agreed, though contemplative. “But you, Sanemi, have been the biggest source of comfort for her.”

Sanemi scoffed. “Well, that’s what best friends are s’pposed to do.”

Mitsuri shook her head, a ghost of a smile tugging at her lips. “No, I’m her best friend,” she nudged him playfully with her elbow. “You though… you’re different. And I think she knows that, too.”

She kicked off the wall, and made her way towards her apartment door, pausing just as she reaches for the knob.

“After all, you’re the one she smiled for.”

Mitsuri and all her pink disappeared into her apartment, the door clicking softly shut behind her.

Sanemi remained against the wall for a while longer, his head and his heart a tangled web of hope and doubt.

The walk back to his place is solitary, and so Sanemi tried to sort through the snarled brambles of his mind. As he shuffled through the winter landscape, Sanemi thought that he’d never fully appreciated the snow before. He hadn’t noticed how beautiful snow-capped conifers looked, branches heavy with the sparkling ice; hadn’t realized how beautifully quiet the world could be when blanketed beneath a thick coat of white.

He thought about how Y/N looked standing amidst the chaos of the snowball fight, cheeks flushed with the cold and her own adrenaline, a smile as wide and bright plastered on her face. He basked in the warm echoes of her laughter as she lobbed yet another snowball at the back of Mitsuri’s head, squealing in delight when her friend returned her attack tenfold.

And Sanemi thinks that the snow wasn’t so bad after all.

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

Stick around for part 2 if you want to find out if Sanemi will finally confess (and how he’ll likely screw it up 😉)

[manicpixiefelix]

head, heart, hand. {Felix Catton/Reader/Oliver Quick}

Part 10.

Summary: The last few days of the year at Oxford! Celebrations to be had, but also you contemplate what may come next for Oliver once the semester ends. Meanwhile, in a brief moment of downtime, you try and discuss Felix's weirdness from before exam season, but he can and will try and seduce you instead of having a real adult conversation. But unfortunately he may have had a point, because that real, adult conversation fucking sucks.

{ masterpost }

Need to Know: They/Them. Explicitly NB Reader. FWB!Reader/Felix. Reader is from a well off family but has pretty much been adopted by the Cattons.

Warnings: discussions of oliver's father dying, discussions of jealousy

A/N: 5623 words. wrote this directly after finishing ch 9. and then was like, what if i edited this. which means the ending of this chapter is COMPLETELY different to what it was originally, and is a bit of a downer. but we need conflict, you know? and sometimes its genuinely hard to have these adult conversations at like 21 years old. emotions and such. also there's a wizard hat. half edited then i completely rewrote the ending and that's absolutely unedited. how are we feeling about leaving oxford finally????

TAGLIST IN COMMENTS!! // TAGLIST ALWAYS OPEN ! (just message or comment to be added)

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It's always a big deal when the first years finish all of their exams and get their final results. Or, well, the rest of the students make a big deal about it. You're not sure who started the tradition, or how long ago, but it's a tradition you hold dear to your heart nevertheless. The first year of university is nothing if not overwhelming, survival of it was to be celebrated.

Last year the cheering crowd of your more senior students had made you feel like you had conquered the world. This year, you were bursting at the seams with excitement to be able to share in the tradition from the other side, especially since there were several first years in particular you wanted to celebrate with.

Everything about the tradition seemed tailor made for your brand of joy. It's bright bits of costuming and ticker tape canons, balloons and medals for the undoubtably exhausted first years. Clustered together by the main doors of the examination school, you and your friends press yourselves against the barriers that had been put up to give all the first years enough space. Still, front and centre, many of you, yourself and Felix included, had been handed medallions to give to first years, while the rest were all still clutching each other and giggling with excitement, reminiscing about how loved you'd all felt at this time last year, seeing everyone cheering for all you'd accomplished.

For the past few days since your exams had finished, those in your group particularly committed to the bit, you and Felix among them, naturally, had been frequenting as many of the local charity and party shops in town. Each of you were desperately searching for delightfully garish garments and props to wear and share.

The moment Felix had spotted the sparkly, pink cowboy hat on a mannequin, paired with a violently lavender feather boa, he'd clung to them like his life depended on him owning them, hearts in his eyes, absolutely refusing to let them go. On the other hand, the sailor hat for Ollie was your idea; something more understated for a man more understated than either Felix or yourself. While Felix wanted to protest, wanted to give him something a little more flashy, you thankfully got him to compromise by allowing him to pick your accessories. Which is how you ended up with a hot pink, bedazzled 'Mother Of The Bride' sash.

And a blue, pointy wizard hat.

Anticipation grew in the gathered crowd, all chatter and smiles and giggling as you waited for the doors to open. In amongst the growing noise, you turn the medal over in your fingers, gazing at it with pride, excited to be able to be the one to give it to one of your closest friends. You still have your own from last year, usually pinned above your desk, but right now in a box ready to be taken back to Saltburn for the Summer.

The moment you all heard the tell-tale creak of those large, wooden doors, the cheering began, and you're glad to be pulled from your thoughts and back into the moment. It grew into a cacophony, a roar of joy and delight as the ticker tape canons went off and the first years streamed out in a river of excitement.

Farleigh's always cut a defined figure in any crowd he's in, considering his height, but you'd also given him the heads up to look out for the blue wizard hat to find you. At first you saw him scanning the crowd, but it takes him barely a second to find you. He lights up, eyes fixed on your stupid hat, and he breaks away from the pack at a full sprint. He doesn't even let you give him his medal at first, he's laughing at the top of his lungs, reaching all the way over the barrier to pull you into a hug, almost dragging you over the railing. There's nothing to be said, only a joy that has gone beyond words.

"You're a wizard!" He finally manages amid laughter as he lets you go, leaning back to hold you at arm's length, taking in your whole outfit, "and," his head tips in further confusion, "mother of the bride?"

"And you're a first year graduate," you grinned, "do you want your medal, or do you have more important follow up comments about my outfit?"

"I several have follow up comments but- oh my god," his eyes go wide and he suddenly seems a little breathless, like it's only just properly hit him "I finished a whole year," there's a genuine quality to his voice that's not often heard from Farleigh; still half laughing, but it's almost disbelieving, full of hope without any hint of irony, "not, like, just a week, or a semester; a whole year. A whole year at Oxford University." Lowering his head, he finally lets you put the medal on him.

For a long few moments he holds it out in front of him with pride and joy in his eyes; a precious, rare sight for you to behold. Then, very suddenly, he grabbed your face, bringing you close with this intense, shocked look in his eyes.

"I topped three of my Lit exams," he hissed with actual disbelief, almost making it sound like a scandal, "I took a hit before my Modernism final and spent nine pages arguing that Trainspotting was Allen Ginsberg's Howl for the postmodern audience. I don't even know if I believe that. How was that the best essay they saw?"

"Farleigh," you chuckled, "you might actually just be very good at this." You gave his cheek a fond pet, but after a moment, a hand reached over to tug at Farleigh's shoulder, breaking your stalemate.

"Congratulations, mate!" It's Felix, all smiles, unsurprisingly, "why've you got that look in your eyes?"

"He took one of his exams stoned and still topped the class," you grinned slyly, before your gaze fell on Oliver. As if sensing this, Farleigh slid over to give Felix a proper hug and congratulations, leaving space in front of you for Oliver to step in with a shy grin. You tug on his sailor hat with a fond smile and he turns even redder.

"Congratulations, Oliver Quick."

"Thank you," his gaze flicks up for a moment, stifling a giggle, "wizard."

Puffing out your chest as you mock-straightened your pink sash you hold your nose in the air.

"And what of it?" You put on a faux serious voice. Oliver has to duck his head to hide how much he's laughing at the bit. Once you let it go and deflate, you do then gesture for him to come close, wrapping your arms around him.

"Proud of you, Ollie," you murmur, giving him a tight squeeze.

"Don't know if I could have done it without you and Felix," he admits softly.

"Of course you could have," you assure him with warmth as the two of you begin to pull away. Oliver's eyes meet yours, blue and intense and that same familiar searching that you're so used to by now that it's something of a comfort. For just a moment, you want to reach out, to touch him, to hold onto his gentle expression and this moment in your own two hands. You wonder if he can see it in your eyes too, can see you repressing that urge.

"Wouldn't have been half as good," with the smallest of smiles, just edging on knowing, neither his expression nor his tone gives away enough for you to know exactly what he could be meaning or referring to, if anything beyond general companionship. So you play it off, you let anything you might be holding onto, anything that might be too much for such a public forum, pass.

"Of course," you say loudly, blithely, tucking your arm in Felix's beside you to get his attention, "we're wonderful company!"

"What's this?" Felix turns, eyebrows raised as he looks between yourself and an amused Oliver.

"Just saying that Oliver's year is better for having met us," you say simply, airily.

"Without a doubt!" Felix agrees without any kind of hesitation. Farleigh rolls his eyes, but is laughing as he calls both you and Felix incredibly vain.

As the excitement begins to die down and everyone begins to filter out, your group begins to meander towards the road that leads off campus, with yourself, Felix, and Oliver trailing behind.

"What's next? I mean, what's the plan now? I know there's a thing tomorrow, but -" Oliver's tentative again, quiet and meek again, acting like he's on the back foot again.

"Step one," Felix begins matter-of-factly, "pub; celebrate; get shitfaced." You see Oliver glance dubiously at your foot-high, velvet wizard hat once more. He's been doing it a lot. You can't lie, you've gotten very attached to your stupid look for the day and do plan to keep it all night.

"Even with that?"

"I'm gonna die in this hat I've decided," you say easily, to which both boys snicker at your assertiveness on the subject. But soon enough, Oliver raises another question.

"And- and tomorrow, that's the- I heard there was an end of year gala," he hesitates as you and Felix both automatically confirm. It did not seem to soothe any of Oliver's nerves and he finally brought up, "It's black tie; I have a black tie - bow tie, actually - but I don't really have anything else that'll match the theme -" he babbles awkwardly, looking all kinds of mousey and small with his head bent like that, hands fingers twisting together in anxious shapes. Both you and Felix are quiet, stuck in thought, and it takes you closing your eyes for a few seconds, trusting your arm in Felix's to keep you on the right path, before it hits you.

"Walters of Oxford," you open your eyes, "on Turl street, I think," you pause for a beat, reconsidering, "maybe double check that." Squinting for a moment, you try and recall, "ten minute walk, I think? Depending on your route, I guess. Not far is the point." But when you look over at your companions, both are frowning at you, something incredulous in their eyes. "To... hire a suit," you explain almost sheepishly under their respective gazes.

"How did you do that?" Oliver asks softly.

"Why did you know that?" Felix adds, bewildered.

"Isn't it handy to know the best place to get good suits and expert repairs done?" You shrugged a little helplessly. However, as you let your gaze drift, you find yourself recalling something India had said about you always needing to be a step ahead, to always have contingencies in place so Felix need not ever be inconvenienced for too long. Whatever; you push the thought and India's past negative tone from your mind, telling yourself it's good information to have anyhow.

"Anyways, I was also looking into good places for suit hires, in case the worst happened, and wouldn't you know it, Walters does that too."

"I'll- I guess I'll head there tomorrow morning," Oliver says awkwardly.

Felix drops your arm for a moment, wrapping his arm around Oliver's shoulders, bringing him in close.

"I look forward to see you in a suit, Ollie," there was no mistaking the flirty tone he was using, and from the glimpse of Ollie's face that you could see around him, he was turning red under Felix's praise, "handsome man like you all done up," he trailed off, ruffling Oliver's hair before he let go, cheeky smile on his face and bounce in his step. He has to be aware of Oliver's nervous, starry-eyed gaze locked upon him, but Felix just strikes up a conversation with you, enquiring if you would be going in a suit or a dress.

"I'm going in a wizard's hat." You declared.

"I love this bit; you aren't even drunk yet!" Everything you do is worth it if it means Felix will look at you like this, with delight shining in his eyes and in his words.

The night - what you can remember of it - is phenomenal. Benji calls you Archmage of the Bride and it's the only thing anyone refers to you as for the rest of the night, everyone else loudly correcting anyone who gets it wrong. Aside from that, everyone is babbling and bright and so enthusiastic about the gala the following night and what they'll be wearing.

Oliver is quiet, tucked in between you and Felix, nursing his pints longer than anyone else. Felix's arm is around him, as it always seemed to be, and as the night goes on, more and more you get the urge to tip your head and rest it against Oliver's for several long moments at a time.

But there's something different about tonight. Oliver doesn't reach out to you, even subtly. His thigh against yours is forced proximity, but his hands are always on his drink and his ankles are crossed beneath the table. Whenever he looks away, you start to notice that it's not at you; Felix seems to hold his attention more than anyone else, but on any other night, that wouldn't really surprise you. You want to ask what's wrong, but by the time you realise something is, you're not sure you're even capable of stringing two coherent words together.

You think back on what he'd said on the way to the pub, his voice small and nervous.

What's next?

You ponder as you leave the pub with several others in the group, thinking hard. Had he meant more than just the immediate? Your next was Saltburn, Oliver's next was... ah. Junkie mum and no dad.

Someone sticks a finger in your ear. Immediately you jump and clutch protectively at your hat -

"Fuck off 'm wizard!"

"I'm seeing if I can feel your thoughts, they look serious," Farleigh, somehow more sober than you, is still cackling. Your drunk mind doesn't like that he's laughing at you, even if it's an objectively funny situation, and you spend the rest of the short walk stomping and pouting, with Farleigh laughing and calling you ridiculous the entire time.

You awaken on the second last day of living on the Oxford University campus for your second year, with an absolutely killer headache. You don't remember getting back into your dorm, but apparently your drunken self was kind enough to steal an entire pitcher from the common area and fill it literally to the brim with water. Far less had spilled on your bed side table than you'd anticipated.

What you do remember, however, is the numerous thoughts you'd had about Oliver. Both last night, and over the past few weeks. As you take some painkillers and drink water out of the pitcher, you gaze across your room to few newspapers you've had sitting under a pile of textbooks since the second week of exams.

It's almost midday. Taking the papers, you pack yourself a bag of whatever you'd need to get ready for the gala on top of your little project, and pull your garment bag from your wardrobe. Swinging past the on-campus café, you pick up arguably too much food for you and Felix to share before the event, then heading to his dorm.

"Get fucked," Felix shouts through the door, muffled probably by his pillow, when you knock.

"Felix, open up!"

"No! What time is it?"

"Midday!"

"Fucking midday?!"

From behind you, one of the doors flies open and one of Felix's scowling dormmates spits for you to shut up or fuck off.

"Grow up or eat shit; it's the afternoon," you flip him off with a scowl. The door slams shut. Immediately you turn and kick Felix's door. When he opens it, he does not look happy. In return, you smile sweetly at him, thanking him with the most saccharine tone you can manage.

"Brought us food," you offer, as if trying to placate him, but instead Felix pointedly falls face first upon his bed, pulling his pillow over his head in defiance. Just glad to be finally let in, you potter around his room quietly, carefully avoiding his boxes of already packed belongings.

Putting all the food on the table, you start on some of it yourself as you keep working almost silently. You hang your garment bag up next to his, put your nice shoes by his door, put all your accessories and other things you needed to get read in their own, distinct pile on his dresser before you settle yourself in his desk chair, pulling out one of the newspapers and carefully going through it.

The Liverpool Echo.

Your eyes flick briefly over the articles, not really paying any of them much real attention, at least not until you got to the obituaries. These you scoured. Names and faces and dates and sweet words about caring, loving people who you neither knew nor cared for. No Quicks. Next paper.

It takes you quite some time; you're thorough and you'd gotten quite a few day's worth from around the time Oliver had found out the news about his father in case it had been reported earlier or perhaps a few days later. Prescot didn't have it's own newspaper, but the lady at the news agency you'd phoned to order them assured you that the Liverpool Echo was received by the people of Prescot too.

"Are you reading the paper?" Felix's voice actually makes you jump, having so engrossed yourself in your reading, forgetting he was still there. Looking at the clock, then at him, you see him still looking groggy, but more bemused than anything. Then, after a beat, he looks to the pile of ones you'd already gone through on the floor by your feet.

"Food's cold," you told him, going back to your reading.

"Why are you reading the paper?" Propping himself up, he begins to stretch and finally, properly wake up for the day.

"Been thinking about Ollie," you tell him with a distracted air, folding up the paper in your hands after a minute more of poring over it, adding it your growing pile despondently. Thankfully, instead of making a snide comment, Felix yawns, asking you what exactly you'd been thinking.

"I know he said he's fine, but his dad still passed," you said softly, gazing at the small stack you're still yet to read, but feeling no urge to pick any more up, "and he hasn't been home, and when he gets home, I don't know..." you sighed, sitting back and looking at the ceiling, a kind of ache in your heart that you hadn't expected, "I wanted to try and find his obituary, to see if anyone said any nice things about him, but I'm not having any luck."

"I don't think he was the kind of man who had obituaries written about him," Felix tells you with a kind of resignation, "but I get that it's one of our last days," he extrapolates, voicing your intentions as easily as if he could read your mind, "and you want to try and give him a nice moment, to show that people care about him, before we, you know, fuck off for a month and a half and leave him."

"Grim, when you put it like that," you hummed, "but yeah, essentially." Felix made a noise of sombre agreement.

Finally, however, he rose from his bed, slowly meandering over to the desk and picking through the food you'd brought. For a long few moments he idly flicks through the few papers you had left on his desk, carelessly shoving each over as he doesn't even open them.

"What about that rock thing my family does?" Mouth half full of a sandwich and leaving the papers alone, his curiosity over them apparently sated, Felix sits himself on the floor by his bed, knees drawn up to his chest as he contemplates, "doesn't have to be all that serious, can be just about saying goodbye and letting go. Closure and shit, you know?" He swallows, looking at you with bright eyes, as if waiting for you to validate his idea, "like we did with my dog when I was a kid."

"That's actually a very sweet idea; I think he'd love that coming from you," you slowly begin to smile as you turn the idea over in your mind. Felix, however, wears a look like he's almost confused, but you can't begin to imagine what until he opens his mouth -

"What do you mean 'coming from me'?" Despite his apparent vague distaste for your wording, you can't help but laugh, rolling your eyes.

"Ollie would love the idea of lighting a bag of shite on fire on his mother's doorstep if the suggestion came from you; I'm saying it's a lovely idea, and he's very fond of you, it'll mean a lot to him."

Quiet filters in with the sunlight. You watch Felix, Felix watches himself pick at his nails.

"Very fond of you too," it's completely and totally neutral. It's also a fucking loaded statement if you've ever heard one come out of Felix's mouth.

"Felix." When he hears the warning notes in your voice, you know he pretends not to.

Reaching over to his bedside table, the unnecessary arc of his arm has him catching the light, muscles lean and taught with his effort to not otherwise move. Heat of the day had already begun to infiltrate the room, but this angle and the light makes the beading sweat along his skin glow; he's always been able to take advantage of a hot day in a way you've never seen of anyone else. Felix, of course, knows exactly what he's doing. Felix learned long ago how to perform at the drop of a hat; no-one was better at objectifying him than he was if he wanted to, "don't do that," you mutter, knowing that even you weren't immune to the way he could manipulate people's eyes upon him.

"What?" It's too innocent to be anywhere near truthful. You see the edge of a smirk before it disappears behind a cigarette and his sudden, aloof façade.

"We haven't talked about what happened," you tried, you really did, "we swept it under the rug for Ollie's sake, and then we had exams, and we -"

Felix lights his lighter, head angled so he can look up at you through his lashes, so his hair falls and curls and turns gold in the flickers of the lighter's faint fire. For another second he holds your gaze, confusing and teasing all in one; like he adores you, but like it's a challenge. Then he moves again, poses again. One leg up, one leg stretched out in front of him, cigarette resting so lazily between the fingers of the hand that he rests on his thigh, plays a staccato beat with his fingers against his bare skin. Nudity was never taboo between you, so why were you losing your train of thought over Felix in his boxers, a sight you'd seen arguably a hundred times before.

Looking anywhere else on him doesn't do you any favours, the beautiful body you've marked and called yours - jealousy, right, that's -

But his head tips back, falling back against his bed as smoke rings rise from his lips and the column of his throat is caught by the light. When his tongue darts out to wet his lips, you catch only the briefest flash but he knows you can fill in the rest, knows you see the way his adam's apple bobs as he swallows.

"You know we need to talk, otherwise you wouldn't be doing this."

"Doing what?" He shifts, legs spreading a little wider, and when he looks at you, he's wearing that smile you've seem him turn on countless girls before, teasing, flirting, look in his eyes like he's getting high of of the very idea of you. Lips quirking into a cocky smile, he raises his cigarette to his lips, watching you with an almost lazy kind of arousal. Like every girl he's looked at like this knows they could get him in bed without even trying, without even knowing they were being seduced, "something wrong, love?"

And it's fucking working.

"Fuck, Fi," you have to close your eyes, putting your head in your hands. He laughs and it sounds like fucking syrup, all teasing and warmth, but you can't fucking do this right now; "are you trying to get me in bed just because you don't want to talk about the fact that you were obviously jealous of Oliver?"

This silence is far more bitter, as is Felix's tone when he finally speaks.

"What would I have to be jealous of?" Sounding like a man in denial.

"That Oliver is good to me without needing you as an audience," you push the heels of your palms against your eyes, words and thoughts escaping you that you didn't even realise you had. The next breath you takes shakes. Audibly. Felix clears his throat, but he doesn't seem to know what to say. Now that you've said it out loud, you can feel your face beginning to heat up, tears stinging your tightly closed eyes, the way you begin to tremble.

"I know," you start slowly, carefully thinking about your words this time as you say them, "that you love me, Fi," it's gentle, reassuring, but frustrated nonetheless, face still in your hands. But your breath still shakes as you try and keep it level, "so I think part of you is- is scared that if I find someone who could love me," even the thought of your next words sit bitter and heavy on your tongue, so you have to take a deep breath, try and centre yourself, "without you," you pause, swallowing hard, feeling traitorous tears escaping you, "that I might realise I prefer- prefer that, or something," here is where you start to break, where your voice cracks and you can't keep your hands against your eyes so all you can do is hang your head and hope he doesn't see your tears, "but you've spent all your time assuming, and pouting, and thinking badly of a good friend, and you haven't even asked me!"

Finally, Felix speaks, his voice weak; he sounds moments away from tears.

"I made you cry."

You hadn't even realised how far beyond Oliver this went, how tightly you'd been holding onto this, these thoughts and feelings, keeping them coiled in your chest, until just now. Hearing his words, your crying finally becomes audible, even to you, even if you hadn't meant it to. Today was meant to celebrate, not... this.

"I don't-" he voice catches in his throat, and you hear him sniffle softly, "I don't know if I can ask you that." He admits. Finally, when you look up, you see his expression carefully neutral, looking over his shoulder with both his knees drawn up to his chest. God he can't even look at you.

You know Felix Catton too well; he is terrified.

In the moments that follow, you slowly pull yourself together. You dry your eyes, and nod, while trying to school your expression into something lighter.

"Okay, Fi," you tell him, and try to make sure he knows you're being sincere, "it's, um," you sniffle as you try and smile, "it's a loaded question, I know."

When he bites his bottom lip as subtly as he can manage, you know its to try and keep it from wobbling. There's guilt written all over his face as he watches you move around his room. He doesn't get up, doesn't move, just watches and listens.

"I'm -" you take a deep breath, looking around the room and forcing a smile, "I think I'm going to get ready for tonight with Farleigh, is that alright?"

"Yeah, 'course," he says, as if on autopilot. After a beat, as you collect up your things, Felix finally looks around his room, at the boxes and the things you'd brought with you. Suits, matching and side by side in his closet, bought alongside a third in the set for Farleigh that you know he'd be wearing tonight too. You take it out, lay it over a taped-up box full of his books, ready to go, and finish collecting up your accessories.

"You should talk to Ollie," you tell him, double checking your bag, unsure of how you were managing to act like everything was suddenly okay. Felix nods, watching you once more, gaze a little glassy, far away and looking almost lost, almost guilty again. Part of you is desperate to stay, to comfort him. But as much as he may want it, it's not what he needs in this moment.

"Fi, are you listening to me?" You asked, firmer this time, and he seems to surface from whatever thought's he'd been stuck in, giving you a faraway smile as he nods; it's almost believable, "I know you care about Ollie," you say warmly but firmly, "please talk to him," wetting your lips, you deliberate on your way to the door, picking up your garment bag, "be good to him; Ollie's the only audience that matters there."

"Does this change..." Felix is looking at the floor when you finally make it to his door, "us?"

"Are you still jealous of Ollie?" You try to make it sound joking, since you were pretty sure of the answer, though Felix shakes his head with a frown.

"No, 'course not," he mutters, almost as if to himself, but he doesn't seem to have finished his thoughts on the matter, so you give him a moment; "I've been an asshole, haven't I?" He finally mutters looking out across his room, "a right asshole to someone who's only ever tried to be a bloody good friend to me."

"You kind of have," you agreed easily, and Felix finally looks at you again, the slightest furrow in his brow. There's nothing particularly, prominently beautiful or posed about Felix in this moment; he'd dropped the pretense long ago.

Looking at him now, looking up at you with those helpless eyes, all folded up and far smaller than he usually appeared, all you can remember is the kid afraid of scary movies and his sister's Goosebumps books, who'd stayed up late with you when you'd cried your eyes out in your first year of Secondary school when your parents missed your birthday again, who never let you forget how much he loved you, even for a moment, since you'd met. Your best friend. Always.

"I wish you'd just trust how much I love you too, Fi," voice and expression softening. Slowly, Felix stands, makes his way over to you, wrapping you up in a hug.

"I do, and I will better next time," he mumbles faintly, apologetically, "'m sorry."

There's something melancholy about still parting ways, even after his apology, but both of you seem to know that it's for the best.

Farleigh is glad for your company, and you do a good enough job of appearing alright that he doesn't seem to pick up on the strange mood you can't otherwise shake. Still, you're quiet, Farleigh talking enough for the both of you in between a range of CD mixtapes he'd put together for his own enjoyment.

On your way into the gala itself, you're ahead of Farleigh by a few paces, eager to get in and get yourself a drink, but you brush past Oliver, waiting, looking, as always, out of place. When you tell him he looks lovely, you can't bring yourself to meet his eyes, and barely stay, while you hear Farleigh, behind you, taking his time with antagonising your poor friend.

Felix is leaving the event as you're arriving. He almost crashes into you, bottle of champagne clearly stolen from one of the tables, in one hand as he's running from the venue.

"Hey, hi," despite both your best efforts, there is still clearly some discomfort in the air between you. Felix's eyes roam over you, almost out of habit, but there's an appreciative look in his eyes as he meets your gaze once more, "I think, I, uh, I'm going to skip this one and hang out with Ollie," almost like he's trying to invite you. But after everything, this can't be something you do; this isn't your tradition, this isn't your moment to share with Oliver. He'll never get it.

He's Felix Catton; he's the sun.

"He's going to enjoy that so much more than hanging around here," you smile brightly. Felix looks a little surprised, a little put out that you had apparently not picked up on his offer, or that you had and had decided to decline.

"Yeah, I- I thought so," he almost seems a little stunned by how cold this interaction was between you, compared to the usual, boisterous comradery you shared.

"Have a good night, Fi," finally, you kiss his cheek and slip into the entrance hall of the gala building, weaving through beautifully dressed students to find your gaggle of friends for the night. Throughout the night, you get asked where Felix is, and you shrug with a blithe smile every time.

My Felix <3: i invited ollie to spend summer with us

Tomorrow you would be okay.

Tonight, however, you planned to dance with your friends, drink enough that you either stop feeling so weird in your damn brain, or feel perhaps even worse, and probably end up crying.

Tomorrow everything would be okay again.

[diazsdimples]

I Need Inspiration Saturday

The semester is finally (almost) over, and once I've handed in my last 4 assignments (that are all due on Monday and I think I might cry) I'll finally be sinking my teeth into some of my wips again. Only problem is, it's been so long since I properly looked at any of them that I have no clue which one to work on. So, I'm gonna put little outlines/ blurbs of all my wips, and then a poll and y'all can tell me which one sounds like something you'd want to see more of. Yells seem to fuel me so this is the best way to get me going I feel. So, here are the wips!

Single Dad's AU (Buddie) - 19.3k written, probably 1/6th done (ish)

Buck is a single father to 2 girls, Carrie (7) and Lily (5), and is a probationary firefighter at the 118. He meets Eddie Diaz at school pickup one day, as Carrie and Christopher are in the same class. Buck and Eddie become fast friends, as do their kids, and Buck convinces Eddie to join the 118. This fic follows canon timelines from seasons 2-3, and shows Buck and Eddie's journey to becoming a family together.

Frostpunk AU (Buddie) - 16.6k written, probably like 1/4 done

The world is a desolate and frozen wasteland, with small clusters of humanity. Buck is a Scout from Sector 118, and he comes across a father and his young son, half frozen, on one of his scouting missions. Buck and his scouting team bring Eddie and Christopher back to Sector 118, where they heal and start their life as citizens of Sector 118, living in Buck's tent with him. Eddie reveals to Buck that he has a mission he needs to complete, one he knows will put him in immediate danger, and begs Buck to look after Christopher once he's gone. Buck refuses to let Eddie go alone and the two brave the elements to search for the missing parts of Eddie's life, their survival resting entirely on their ability to trust and work with one another.

Sleepy Mornings (Buddie) - 2.3k written (2/13 chapters complete)

A selection of small oneshots of all the times Buck and Eddie woke up next to each other, including after Dosed, after the Tsunami, after Eddie's shooting, after Eddie's breakdown, after their first kiss, etc. Cute and fluffy with minimal angst and lots of Buddie pining feels.

Doctor's AU (Buddie) - 2.4k written, fuck knows how close to finished

Eddie Diaz is an Obstetrician/Gynaecologist and Evan Buckley is a Pediatrician, both working at Cedars-Sinai hospital. They meet after Eddie comes to the NICU, upset after a rough c section, and continue to bump into one another at work. They build a fast relationship and have a reasonable amount of sex in ill advised parts of the hospital, whilst performing risky surgeries and saving lives. Also lots of pining (mostly from Eddie) and eventual Buddie relationship.

Ballet Au (Buddietommy) - 1.8k written, *shrugs* who knows.

Buck is a new principal ballerina at the New York City ballet, performing the Nutcracker. He meets Eddie and Tommy, both seasoned ballerinas, and they quickly take him under their wing. Buck didn't factor in falling in love with both men, and initially doesn't know how to act around them. However, when it's clear that they also both want Buck, they fall into an easy dynamic, and quickly become the power-throuple New York never saw coming (honestly this is still very much in the Vibes era)

Sauna Sex (Buddie) - 1,3k written, probably 1/4 done.

Buck and Eddie have sex in a sauna as a way to blow off steam, as it were. Porn without plot, there's really not much else to say other than hot, sweaty men fucking each other's brains out and probably being way too dehydrated.

Buddietommy Kid Fic (Buddietommy) - 4.1k written, probably 75% complete

Buck, Eddie and Tommy celebrate their first father's day with their kids. Just lots of Buddietommy family feels, big brother Christopher, and big men tiny babies. Not saying how many babies though. That would be cheating.

[xxwhiskeyxx]

If you still take writing requests

I had an idea for an Alpha x Ghoulette fanfic

Alpha gets incredibly overheated because of his abilities and his temper, ghoulette reader cools him down because they run naturally cold

Fluff comfort :))

Anyways have a wonderful day!

Again if you don't take requests anymore I'm do sorry!

Elsa and her Fire Boy

Hello from the barrel of accidental hiatus! I do infact still take requests I have just been in a writers block since the last semester of college due to personal reasons but I have been wanting to try to get back into writing a bit (this is something i have said time and time again and I shall attempt whenever is possible!) I always love getting requests and actually have some in my inbox that I have been meaning to catch up on (I am so sorry if you’re reading this and they belong to you and i haven’t fulfilled your wishes yet, theyre coming i swear!) I am hoping to crank out some of them this next week since I will be busy the rest of this one as I am going to houston to visit a friend for her birthday (we’re seeing the Ghovie!)/ celebrating her recently discovered pregnancy! Anyways, I shall shut my yap and get to the summary!

So the lovely @evolutionghoul requested a fluff comfort fic with the ever so hotheaded Alpha! For context, reader shall be a air/water hybrid ghoulette who is a healer in the infirmary with the Quintessence ghouls. Now let’s see what the barrel cooks up!

-Love Whiskey

It had been a grueling day, with a never-ending procession of siblings and ghouls suffering from seasonal hay fever, weather-induced arthritis & migraine flares, and colds. The (height) hybrid had been tirelessly darting around, offering their assistance wherever it was needed. She had been seen sitting with Zephyr, gently applying icy hot on their aching joints and later placing her cool hands on Mist's forehead to alleviate her pounding head from the cluster headache triggered by the changing season and bass lessons with the kits that afternoon. She had also been glimpsed rubbing Omega's back and shoulders after he had spent the afternoon adjusting the vast majority of the Abbey's Earth ghouls that had overworked themselves trying to get the spring harvest planted as soon as possible after the last frost of winter had melted.

"(Y/N), hon, you can head home, ya know; your shift ended an hour ago?" Aether calls from the entrance of her office.

Glancing up from where she had been typing a report out on the computer, the (hair-colored) ghoulette sighs, "I know, but I have to finish these reports for Meg before he realizes, or he'll be here until tomorrow trying to finish it so he can go on that trip with you, Papa Copia, and Papa Terzo to the sister church in Italy next week." (Y/N) takes a moment to stretch and pop her back after sitting in her hunched-over typing position

The older ghoul chuckles, "Fair enough, I can grab my laptop and can come help you with that, so you don't have to-" 

Before he could finish his sentence, the door to the infirmary slams open as a familiar Fire ghoul storms in, smoke quite literally streaming from his nose and ears, "Where the fuck is Aether!? His fucking runt of a 'successor' just ruined my fucking guitar!" Alpha snarls loudly, prowling through the infirmary in search of his victim; the heat from the enormous ghoul's body is so high that both (Y/N) and Aether can feel it from her office

"Fuck, Aeth hide in here, 'll I go distract him!" (Y/N) whisper yells, standing and basically yanking the Quint into her office with unexpected strength as the emergency system triggers and the alarms begin to blare. The hybrid ghoulette had become quite close to the former lead guitarist and was very intuned with his infamous temper.

Racing down the hallway after closing the door to her office, (Y/N) searches for her friend throughout the infirmary. 

While the infirmary's emergency system blares, (Y/N) spots Alpha's fiery figure stomping through the chaos. She quickly maneuvers through the distressed patients and concerned ghouls, her eyes fixed on Alpha's burning rage. 

Spotting him near the entrance, she steadies herself and approaches him with a calming but assertive demeanor, ready to divert his destructive fury away from Aether. "Alpha, hey! What's going on?" to which he whirls around with a snarl, "Can't you notice I'm dealing with something right now? Don't bother me with your questions. Where the fuck is Aether!" he barks.

The harsh words make (Y/N) shrink back slightly, involuntary tears creeping into her eyes, but she quickly steals herself and bristles, "Calm your tits and realize who you're talking to, Mr., now try again." watching as he seems to realize his tone and softens, sighing. "Sorry (Y/N), I'm just pissed at that little shit Phantom...Aeon..whatever the fuck his name is, he broke my guitar fucking around with Dew and Ifrit." he goes to rub his face but hisses as the literally red-hot appendage singes his beard.

The hybrid chuckles, "C'mon big guy, it's time for some cuddles and talk therapy," taking the large ghoul's hand with no issue with her cooling abilities already working full blast and dragging him down the hallway.

Looking around the infirmary, (Y/N) quickly finds the room she's looking for, "Code Pants on Fire," she giggles as she opens the door, making Alpha grumble disgruntledly before grunting as he's pushed onto the couch. "You know the drill, shirt off, gotta cool you off before you trigger the sprinklers again. We both know wet pissy Alpha is worse than dry pissy Alpha," (Y/N) teases, stripping down to the tanktop she wears under her scrub top.

The Fire ghoul continues to grumble about 'stupid runt' and 'Damn Elsa and her stupid icepack body,' the nickname having been dubbed upon (Y/N) after a drunken night of a Disney movie marathon with all of the packs and she had performed a damn near perfect rendition of 'Let it Go' using her air affinity to make snow from her water and even made a miniature snowman in the middle of the kitchen that was not very much appreciated by a half asleep still drunk Pebble who slipped on Bitchloff, named by Alpha and Swiss, on their trek to the kitchen for water the next morning.

"Oh hush, we both know you love cuddle time with me, ya sentient air fryer," (Y/N) laughs as she flops atop the pissy ghoul, whose flicking tail then twanks her ass, making the ghoulette squeal, earning her a laugh. "I will not admit anything, but having my favorite girl on top of me and cooling me down is something I will never complain about," Alpha smirks down at her.

Rolling her eyes, (Y/N) rests her chin atop his toned chest and runs her ice-cold fingers up his overheated sides, making the ghoul squeal and her cackle. This descends them into a wrestling match.

*Minny Timeskip brought to you by Alpha's tits*

Not long later, Alpha was eased into a purring and much cooler ghoul, very content having (Y/N) cool fingers running through his hair as she hummed. Soon, the door cracks, and Aether's hesitant voice comes from the doorway. "Everything all good in here?" he calls, "Very much so; got things calmed down out there?" (Y/N) returns, sitting up slightly, much to Alpha's discretion; a soft growl rumbles from his chest as she moves. "Yep! Also, Alpha, I called Phantom, who told me he fixed it. Just a little quint magick and it's good as new; he is very sorry for breaking it, which I will add that it was Dewdrop's fault because he threw it at Phantom just before you came in," Aether explains.

The Fire ghoul sits up suddenly, groaning as he rubs his face, "Fuck..I need to apologize now, don't I" he sighs as (Y/N) chuckles, "Yup! But later, I was enjoying my personal heater," she chirps before yanking him back down, making Alpha yelp and Aether laugh, "Alright lovebirds, I'll let Bug know that you'll be by later" he says before closing the door.

Alpha chuffs as he presses a kiss to the hickey he had left on (Y/N)'s neck last night, "You're lucky I like you, and I enjoy my personal icepack," he mumbles before relaxing into her again.

[addicted2coke-theothercoke]

Taking a break from shorthand practice cause my hands hurt, thought I'd talk about umbrella academy

Umbrella academy pisses me off

Its general lack of direction, its refusal to answer questions whilst piling more junk on top, its nonsense. The way its clear season three was a cluster fuck of time waiting and filler episodes as they had no idea how to bridge the gab between season two and what came next, ultimately ending with the uninteresting resetting of the world after the fight with the monsters in the other hotel.

Nothing, however, pisses me off more then Allison.

She is the worst.

So I swear to god, when season four rolls around(and it's confirmed last I heard), if they let her off, the hook, I will break shit.

"Oh, its okay, we're all just one big, dysfunctional, pseudo-family, of assholes who hate each other, you fit right in"

NO!

SHE RAPED HER BROTHER

SHE IS EVIL

SHE MUST DIE

[melanieph321]

Ruben Dias - Lost in Sardinia Part 7/8

Summary - Ruben is on a getaway in Sardinia. There he meets a girl named Fiorella. She starts to wonder why Ruben won't tell her what exactly he is getting away from, or even what his real name is.

Enjoy!

There was a cluster of rocks overlooking the white beaches of west coast Sardinia. It's where Fiorella took Ruben. A peaceful place to watch the sun go down to the sound of ocean waves.

"The pressure was getting to me. I was aware that the team was bringing in new players for the upcoming season, players that could replace me if I didn't perform well."

Ruben told her everything. Everything that Chiara had mentioned and more, like the reason he punched his coach.

"And that made you want to punch your coach in the face?" She asked.

"No, I never intended to do that. That was just a result of all the pressure I put myself under. It's normal in football to buy and sell players. But I play for arguably the best football team in the world, with arguably the best football players. If I were to get replaced by another player it would essentially mean that I'm not good enough to..."

"Play with the best?"

"So you get it?"

"Why you punched your coach?" Fiorella snorted. "No, no I don't get it. But feel free to tell me what led up to the event."

"I was just so fucking tired." He sighed.

"Tired of what?"

"Mostly from working overtime. I'm always the first one to arrive at the teams training grounds and the last one to leave. I never give less than 110% during games and I've always remained on a strict diet to stay healthy and fit. I've missed so many family occasion because of training, birthday's, anniversaries, holidays, you name it. Worst part is that I've ruined so many relationships with people I love." Ruben chuckled. "Just ask my ex girlfriends who've ended up hating everything about me,  from the way I brush my teeth to the way I comb my hair."

"So you have many compulsive habits?" Fiorella interrupted, forcing Ruben to stop talking about the many women he had been with before her.

"Yes." He nodded. "I guess you can't say that I have a few compulsive habits. Good habits, but compulsive."

Fiorella nodded, taking it all in. "And the reason for punching your coach?"

Ruben was avoiding the altercation, however, Fiorella wasn't gonna let him. From now on Ruben would have to be completely honest with her even if it hurt. That's what Fiorella's mother once told her was the foundation of love, honesty.

"Right, that." Ruben ran a lazy hand through his hair. He was smiling softly, as if the memory wasn't all too painful.

"Pep, is the name of my coach. For somone who knows football they'll know about Pep and the peculiar way he likes to coach his teams. Don't get me wrong, he's definitely one of the best coaches out there, however he can be very blunt and harsh with his critic."

"What did he say?" Fiorella gasped.

"Nothing I've never been called before, the difference this time is that I was so mentally exhausted that I couldn't see past the critic he was giving, resulting in me loosing my cool and....well....you know."

Fiorella nodded, releasing the big chunk of air that compressed her torso. She still had so may questions, one question in particular, however, Ruben beat her to it.

"Why did you bring me here?" He asked, his eyes shimmering with the distant sunlight.

"Oh, I..." Fiorella crumbled with embarrassment. She had never wanted to bring someone to The Kissing Rocks until now. When she was younger her friends would tease her for running home after school. Fiorella would rather run down to the docks for a swim or play on the farm with her dog, than spend an evening shoving her tounge down somebody's throat. The thought of kissing had never amused her, more so disgusted her. That is, until she met Ruben.

"Can I ask you something first?" She said, feeling like he owed her that.

"Of course."

"Why come to Sardinia of all places?"

It was a question that had been itching her scalp. His decision to come to the island, her island, had certainetly changed the course of Fiorella's life and so she curiously wanted to know what drew him here.

"Well, although it's a tourist attraction there's not so many people here, especially during late summer. I needed privacy, a place to think and stay out of the spotlight, Sardinia was the perfect place to get that. Besides, I used to come here with my family during summer vacations when I was younger."

"Really?"

He nodded. "Every summer for the first twelve years of my life."

Fiorella couldn't fathom the idea. If Ruben had spent his childhood summer's in Sardinia the two of them must have crossed roads before. Perhaps when Fiorella was a young girl, roaming the streets with the puppy she received from Nonno for Christmas.

"My family used to rent an apartment on the island, it was actually at the complex that I'm staying at now..."

"Wait, so you're telling me that you don't live in your boat by the docks?"

Ruben eyes widened in suprise. "Why would you think that?"

"I mean...it's where I first met you, where you always told me to meet you. A person could comfortably live in your boat which is practically a smal yacht."

Ruben chuckled.

It was nice to hear him chuckle.

"No i don't live on a boat, but an apartment. It's where my friend Bernardo is waiting for me. His parents are lawyers and has been helping me with my case against my club. If things go well I'll be able to return at the end of the summer, just ahead of the start of the new season."

"Right." Fiorella nodded. Return....We should probably return you to your friend then." Fiorella would be returning to the flower shop where a fuming Nonna would be waiting for her.

"I remember this place."

Fiorella had risen to her feet, wiping dirt of her shorts when Ruben spoke. He was looking up at her, his head tilted back.

"You do?"

"Yeah, a girl brought me here once. She was also Sardinian."

"Was she?" Fiorella felt a slight beat appear in her chest.

"Yes. She called this place the Kissing Rocks. I don't know why, but she told me that we couldn't leave until I'd kissed her."

"Huh, funny." Fiorella muttered.

"Fiorella?"

"Yes Ruben?"

"Can I kiss you?"

The soft light from the sun made the shape of his face look smooth. Fiorella stepped forward, placing a hand on his cheek. She bent down her head, stopping when their foreheads came together.

"How would you like to kiss me Ruben,  soft hard or a bit of both?"

He smiled. "Whichever way you like it."

Fiorella was brought back, eyebrows furrowed. "What does that mean?"

Ruben looked up at her, his expression serious. "It means whatever you say goes, okay? "

Fiorella nodded. "Okay."

Ruben's hands on her waist drew her back in, still, it was Fiorella who was running the show. She bent down to softly kiss his lips. They took their time exploring, finding new depths of thier kiss. Fiorella brought both of her hands to Ruben's face, letting his rough stubble tickle underneath the palm of her hands. Ruben released a deep groan from beneath his throat, indicating that whatever she was doing he liked it.

To any starnger passing by the kiss looked soft and sweet. But it was far from it. It was overwhelmingly passionate, a desire for one another that could not be transmitted into words. Fiorella wanted more and Ruben wanted more but somehow a silent agreement was made between the two, an agreement that from now on they would take things slow, real slow. All on Fiorella's terms.

********************************************

Leaving The Kissing Rocks behind Fiorella and Ruben returned into town. As they walked, their fingers intertwined, Fiorella felt a sense of happiness that she hadn't experienced in a long time.

"Look, there she is!"

They were approaching the town square when unexpectedly, Fiorella's heart sank as she spotted her entire family standing there, including her beloved Nonna.

Confusion washed over her as she saw the worried expressions etched on their faces. Seconds later, her mother rushed towards her, engulfing her in a tight hug. "Fiorella! We've been searching everywhere for you! We thought something terrible had happened!"

Fiorella's eyes widened in surprise, still trying to comprehend what was happening. She exchanged a bewildered look with Ruben, who squeezed her hand reassuringly. "I'm sorry, Mama. I lost track of time. I didn't think anyone would worry."

Nonna approached, a mix of relief and sternness in her eyes. "How could you just disappear without a word? We were so concerned, Fiorella. And who is this man?" She gave Ruben the evil eye, all of her family members did.

Ruben, sensing Fiorella's predicament, stepped forward introducing himself "Ciao. I'm Ruben Dias. I'm sorry for causing everyone to worry. It's my fault we lost track of time."

Nonna studied Ruben intently, her eyes softening. "Well, young man, you had us all half out of our wits. But since you seem to bring a smile to my granddaughter's face, I suppose we can overlook this slip-up. Just don't let it happen again."

Fiorella's family, their initial worry transforming into a mixture of curiosity and amusement, surrounded her and Ruben. They bombarded them with questions about who Ruben was, how they had met, and what their plans for the future were.

"She's not married you know."

"Nonna."

"Her sister is getting married though,  the day after tomorrow."

"You should come...Fiorella wants you to come."

"Chiara." Fiorella frowned. They were embarrassing her.

"Ruben Dias...aren't you that football player that punched Pep Guardiola in the face?"

"Dad please." Fiorella said, clenching her teeth. Ruben only smiled, answering each question thrown at him with genuine warmth and sincerity.

Fiorella felt a sense of relief wash over her. Despite the unexpected circumstance, her family had embraced Ruben as part of their lives with open arms. The initial panic had quickly turned into a joyous reunion.

"...no really, it would be an honor to have you at my wedding." Chiara was clearly fangirling over Ruben, however her fiance didn't seem to mind, the opposite really. To have Ruben, a professional footballer, come to their wedding would simply be the coolest thing.

"And bring Bernardo!" Enzo shouted. As he and the rest of Fiorella's family returned ro their respective car's.

"I'm sorry about them." Fiorella sighed.

"You have alot of people that care about you, that's good."

"I guess, sometimes I wish they didn't care so much."

"Don't." He said. "Your amazing Fiorella, if anyone gets the honor having you in their life I understand why they would be so afraid of losing you, I am too."

"Ruben." She lost for words. Nothing needed to be said though, the way Ruben bent down and kissed her siad it all.

"I have some things to take care of tomorrow." He pulled back from their kiss. "But if you'll have me I'd love to accompany you to the wedding of your sister."

Fiorella shook her head, trying to hold in the tears. What a day, she was so overwhelmed with love.

"Is that a yes or...?"

"Of course you idiot. Yes, I'd love for you to be my date for my sisters wedding."

He grinned. "It's a date then."

Ruben bent down and stole another kiss. He spoke against her lips. "Buonasera Fiorella Costa."

She smiled. "Buonasera Ruben Dias."

Taglist:

@christianpulisic10

[bloodgulchblog]

Okay okay okay okay. I will dump a list of thoughts and feelings here:

good god rvb get better jokes, a couple were still pretty good but woof. the "you guys are so predictable i could leave a prerecorded message" bit was incredibly stale and i felt like the zoom call joke went on for 15 years.

red team's interactions in the early part of this while sarge is still there are so rote, man.

yes caboose's voice is different, i was curious about how they were going to handle that. (there was a falling out with the old guy, i mostly just know he said some shit during the george floyd protests but looking it up it sounds like something had happened earlier and he'd been laid off in 2019.)

fascinated that sarge's death stuck, but i've always thought grif and simmons without sarge was interesting, so. why not. i feel like with red team especially here, the whole point is that life moves on? this is very much a "you grow up and move on from the things you loved when you were young" kind of story and sarge is one of the most big goofy cartoon parts of the show, so ending him and having grif and simmons figure out how to move on from him has meaning i guess. the older people who shaped your world inevitably pass out of it. not to give rvb too much credit, but hey.

poor tucker, but i still think maybe having an incredibly angsty unexplored subplot might be better than having to spend 2 seasons having all his character growth dissolved away in favor of absent father jokes and whatever the fuck all that shit was in 16

live commentary on the whole thing with red team acting like they were abandoning caboose and then coming back to help him:

also this:

simmons you poor nerd i'm sorry it took all the way to here to give you anything, wasn't expecting this to be a good season for simmons of all people but at least he got something.

THE REAL CURVEBALL WAS I NEVER EXPECTED THEM TO GET KATHLEEN ZUELCH TO REPRISE TEX EVER AGAIN, i was going to make a crack about how tex getting a better ending would've never been on my bingo card in a billion years but i'm actually not sure this counts because i never cared about chex enough to think about it that hard. raincheck.

tex protecting carolina is nothing but it's also everything.

i'm stupid and missed that doc was dead for a while holy shit that's actually really sad and on the one hand oof, but on the other hand i love really sad things. fuck.

restoration donut only coming back for one last stupid fucking gay joke in an aside vs season 17 centering donut and how he was always such a neglected character. hmm. hmmmmm. hmmmmmmmmm.

it's sad wash wasn't there more, but i really did love "wash throws himself off a cliff to intentionally injure himself and summon carolina instead of contacting her in a more normal way" for him.

and i love that if something bad happens to wash carolina will come down on whatever it is like a hammer from orbit. at the very least, it made me so happy to have it reinforced one last time how much those two mean to one another before the end. after everything i enjoy a moment of them being okay.

overall i do think the group splitting up in pieces feels better to me than them all living together in a big weird codependent cluster forever, it feels like a braver and more true ending, but it's one of those things where season 17 was so much better at thinking about the inner lives of a bunch of characters that it's hard for me to say this is clearly better without reservation in all areas. like, sometimes people matter to you intensely for a big chunk of your life but then you have to move on. and fuck, maybe that's not even forever, but i feel good about grif getting to finally go home and i feel good about grif and simmons saying goodbye to one another and trying to be normal about it. let them have some space from one another. they need space to decide who they are with this part of their lives being over.

nothing they did here can stop me from shipping that and i can very easily fanfic out an ending for them in my brain from this. i'm fine. i'm thriving.

POOR POOR TUCKER, please hug tucker, he has to be going through so much right now.

i wonder if locus, somewhere out there, feels like he dodged a bullet and doesn't know why. (i wish he'd had to deal with red team one last time)

idk i probably have more thoughts kicking around feel free to talk to me i've been so insane about this for so long it's my oldest brainrot-

[popculturebuffet]

Helluva Boss: Fizzarolli and Ozzie retrospective He, Mammon (Patreon Review for Brotoman.exe)

Happy almost valentine's day you happy people! While i'm deeply alone romantically, like many I can take comfort in the wonderful world of shipping. It's jsut nice to see two character bond or two think about two character sbonding even if one is a clone whose life's ambition is to be batman and the other is a teenager named after edged weapons. Bonus points if you figure it out. Point is i'm not immune to a good romantic endorphin rush, and not opposed when one of my patrons has the same idea, so as part of our buid up to valentine's day, we're taking a look at the most stable couple on one of the most unstable show arounds. One's a clown who sounds like Beetlejuice, the other's a giant rooster god of lust. Somehow they make it work.

I haven't really covered Helluva Boss episode to episode on here less out of neglect and more because I intended to juts review the seasons. And while tha'ts still something I do for shows frequently with so many NEW shows coming out I can do season reviews for and such a tight schedule, not ot mention shows people pay me to do a whole season of, I realized it was a bit unwiedly so was glad to do this when Brotoman suggested the mid season special and I upped it to a full on retrospective.

It's also been a WHILE since I did a character focus retrospective, the last one being Tom from star vs the forces of evil and I intended way more, life just got in the way. I mean I have retrospectives that are only getting done thanks to the kindness of others paying for them, allowing me to put them back on the board easier. So this is an experiment to see if I can do this again and if anyone else is intrested in one of these, drop me a line. Mos tprobably won't be this short, but I do like doing these, seeing how a character evolves... and it's also nice that unlike most i've thoguht of the character in question hasn't been horribly screwed over.

Anyways it is nice to cover helluva boss and opens the door to cover other episodes or clusters of episodes, another thing i'd be more than happy to do on comission or my own damn time. Now the shamless self promotion is over join me under the cut to talk about gay clowns, literal cocks, less gay australian clowns, looking at this, fire, kidnapping fetishes, burgers, viiibratttorrrrsss, sexy fish persons, public humilation and spenting life bent over with someones fis tin their a.

Loo Loo Land

Fizzy's history on the show is a bit weird. The first glimpse we see of our faviorite gay clown isn't ACTUALLY him but his non union robot equilvent. In fact the episode dosen't make it clear FIzz is an actual person and this is a robot of him, Robofizz comes off as a chucky cheese style mascot complete with a horrifying army behind him, with only word of god at the time (I assume as I got into the show around "The Harvest Moon Festival), revealing that Fizz was a real person with a real history with blitzo. Blitzo's hatred of "that fucking clown" seems to be about having to work with robofizz in the past.

That being said this brief apperance nad inevieitble park torching fight with an anamatronic which happens every time Blitzo goes to a theme park, does set up a lot of things about Fizz that are key to his character and apperances: We see his resentment of Blitzo is so great his robots picked it up, that he works at mammon's mascot and that he's famous and succesful enough at Clowning, Blitzo's former dream job, that he has robots of himself. He also, likely not concidentally, first shows up in an episode with Blitzo and Stolas, a trend that would only be broken with MAMMON'S MAGNIFICENT MID SEASON SPECIAL, and an intentional one.

Loo Loo Land in fact gives us a good intro to Stolas and Blitz's relationship. While their "Transactional fucking" had shown up in the pilot and murder family, with my faviorite gag of the show spotlighting the start of the affair

And the second setting up their monthly fuck fest, this is the first episode that really shows how the two FEEL about the situation: Stolas is clearly infatuated beyond just sex: while he couches everything in how fuckable blitz is, he also makes an excuse to see him by having him bodyguard him and octavia for the day. We also get a sense of just HOW awkward he is, calling him "The only man who can fuck me" to his daughte'rs confusion and grossing both Blitz and Octavia out by greeting blitz with a sensual "Well hello my big dicked blitzy". The resulting one of the fuck is a close second to sorry I fucked your husband, might even top it. It's clear Stolas dosen't JUST want to fuck Blitz, enjoying seeing him on the job, flirting with him.. but it's also clear WHy Blitz is so annoyed with the situation and with said flirting. Stolas can't go two mintues without saying something sexual, which given what we learn about his realtionship makes sense; He dosen't realyl seem to know the diffrence between romantic love and sexual love and thus combines the two. Blitzo spends the episode trying to be professional as he's "not a day hooker"> He's fine with fucking to get what he wants but sees this relationship as nothing more for both of them while it's Clear stolas is , in his own fucked up way, trying to introduce the two. It's just he phrases it with dicks so Blitzo dosen't realize that's what this partly is, and Octavia , SHOCKINGLY wants no part in meeting her fathe'rs lover she's afraid he'll run away with. It's only her running away herself that makes him realize MAYBE inviting his side piece to the park with his daughter while his marriage is falling apart around him and said daughter can see it every day was a bit of an oopsie.

As for Fizz himself he's played by Alex Brightman, best known for playing beetlejuice, who does a fantastic job here, using the beetlejuice voice to great effect. His first song of the series "Loo Loo Land" is great, a cheesy theme park song right out of chuck e cheese or a children's stage show. We also get nice hints at Mammon LONNNNGGG Before we actually met him, and it's nice to know Viv .. really had the sins planned out fully before their debuts. While we don't see him the fact he made a tacky theme park he blantantly stole from Lucifer, gladly let's his attractions steal from the big boss of hell's own daughter by singing a verison of "I have a dream", and the fact the park has no saftey standards, a ton of lawsuits an da mascot that's a pervert undre there. It sets up both how shoddy greed is and how shoddy Mammon's products are way before we actually meet him.

We also get a fun subplot where Richard Steven Horvitz pisses himself off and does a fun goofy voice. Good times. Loo Loo Land is a great episode.. but an okay-ish intro to fizzy. but it was intended to simply TEASE at the man himself as a few episode and a year or two later... we get

OZZIES

OZZIE's is where our boy gets a proper introduction along side his boss, love of his life and best friend Ozzie, aka Osmodeous, the sin of lust.

Ozzy's intro is a big milestone in Hellaverse history as it's the first time we properly met one of the Seven Deadly Sins. It's easy to forget how big a deal this was now we've also met hot lava lamp fox, clown bastard man and depression dad 2: he did your wives, but before this episode was promoted it wasn't a sure thing the sins would even show up in hellva. Our heroes are mostly small time and one of the sins was tied to Hazbin, which at the time had nothing resembling a release date or schedule. So having one be suddenly announced for the season finale was a big suprise.

It's also one of my faviorite thing the franchise is had: While Viv and co go all out for the designwork, the series has some of the best extras in all of animation, the sins naturally get some of the best of the best, each embodying their animal theme while also being gloroius. Ozzie himself gets a great one with tiny heads I forget exist, chest hair (feathers? fuck man I don't know) a glowing neon suit, and a massive tail, with a giant size that shows off just HOW far the gap is in status and power between him and the rest of the cast, and allowing him to dwarf both his boyfriend and unfortunate victim Moxxie. It's also hilarous in hindsight as Bee ,at least in regular mode is normal sized and Lucifer is a short king.

One last personal note on this that has nothing to do with the matter of hand but what the heck: wait for the sins reminds me more of the various gem fusions from steven universe, something exciting as hell every time it comes up but also agonizing fanwork wise while you wait for them to finish the set.

Anyways Ozzie's setup is simple as it is fucked up: Moxxie and Millie are having their one year anniversary. It's weird to think given HOW close they are it's really only been a year. I mean the relationship could be longer. We don't know.

Blitzo naturally wants to be a third wheel, which Moxxie shoots down even harder than usual. Blitzo agrees.. then stalks them to their date anyway. Unfortunately for him it's one of the biggest restraunts/sex clubs in all of hell, probably the biggest and the bouncer is used to guys trying to fuck him to get in. Blitz.. has to call for backup.

This is where Stolas' genuine feelings for blitz really start to come through: previously the show played coy, having just enough hints that he reallyc ared.. but also having him call Blitz thigns like "his little imp', mock his buisness, or hit on him in front of a large crowd. And this was all in one episode. Stolas LIKES Blitz.. but due to his insulated spoiled background and his only relationship having been with one of the worst people in hell or heaven, only topped by a genocidal dude bro, the clown from it's australian cousin, a homophobic controlling abusive mobster, and a rapist. It's easy to see WHY Stolas had no idea HOW to talk to Blitz properly or to actually ask if he wanted the cutsey nickname. He's never HAD to think about how someone feels.

Yet when Blitzo calls for the date.. he lights up. He's happy, overdresses and rushes to go meet him, easily getting them in and is happy to genuinely TRY to get to know him. It just dosen't work as the way he'as acted.. means Blitz dosen't GET that he's trying or that he enjoys this date and just wants to stalk his employees

Karma however bites Blitz hard as he was so focused on stalking.. he forgot who runs this place.. and thus whose EMCEEING THIS PLACE: Fizz.

While this episode was already one of the series best hindsight helps it.. mostly. The show could've been better on following it up as both Moxxie finding out Fizz is at the club and Blitzo telling off stolas only have subtle effects afterwords, and the actual argument ove rit.. is releigated to a tex message fight we see in Western Energy.

The episode DOES however only gain more from later ones when it comes to Fizzy: When we see him on stage it's instantly clear that he's not so famous just because he works for Mammon and that he dosen't have his job because he's fucking the owner: Fitz is genuinely talented, doing fun crowd banter and some acrobatics. It's also clear he genuinely loves working the crowd and people in general. Sure he's about to spend most of the episode mocking someone who just wanted to serenade his wife, but for the most part he actually seems to like bantering with the guests.. except the guy who bought like 4 of his sex robots. Keep that guy away from him.

It also sets up one of the keys to the character: He's a mirror of blitz. It's something I didn't have fully sink in till I watched this video from sarcastic chorus. I originally had the link in there but i've tried ot ease off youtube that way as it instantly becomes the page image for some reason when used in a link.

I don't agree with the guy on everything, but I respect his opinons and this one was so obvious in retrospect I can't belivie I didn't notice. But Fizzy.. is who blitz WANTED to be: a performer, rich, in a circus. He still got the office he wanted as a kid, but it's clear Blitzo's life didn't work out the way he wanted it to: mostly alone with two friends he keeps harassing and a daughter who takes a whole season and a yearlong delay thanks to record company jackassery to tell him she loves him and finally admit he's her dad. He's a deeply lonely person who loves his job but wishes he had more and the one possible relationship he does have is rife with power imbalance issues.

In contrast, Fizzy seemingly has it all: he's famous across all the rings as a performer, has tons of merch in his name, a regular gig at one of the nicest places in hell and a loving boyfriend who supports him and is there for him. The worst he seems to have in this episode is PRETENDING like he and Ozzzy are doing more than fucking, and that's , at least for now, more an image thing. Fizzy has everything Bltiz ever wanted and seeing him only drives that in..a nd makes it clear the second Fizz sees him shit's going to get bad.

Staying low though.. isn't really an option, as Moxxie done goofs up, singing a love song at a sex club. Granted... Fizzy and Ozzie are giant dicks here, singing a long, gorgeous song about how stupid Moxxies being and how he shoudl sing about doing his wife. It's also hilarious in places, with Fizzy pulling out his reading glasses and has two of the series best extras in these two

I like big beformets and I cannot lie. And skinny ones too clearly. No idea how the candle thing works though.

The song.. is fantaI stic, one of the series best, and a big showcase for James Monroe engleheart, who didn't really get to sing as Vortex. The series also wasn't a full musical yet so that didsn't help. But it's clear Viv knew who she had and thus gave him a giant, most of the episode number that steals the damn show and sells just how IMPOSSING ozzie is and how fucked Moxxie is.

Thankfully they change targets as Blitz TRIES to do something heroic and stand up for M and M.. but does so by both revealing he followed them here, and you know... that he watches tehm have sex. Granted MOXXIE already knew that

But it's still a weird thing to admit in public. So Fizz zeroes in on him, as does Veroskia whose been sorely missed this season. But hey ANY cristina vee is good cristina vee. Stolas dosen't get off easy as Ozzie points Stolas out and connects the dots and joyfully sings about he sold his life for a thrust.

It's.. weird going back to this one as in their next appearnce.. these two.. aren't antagonists. Fizz is hostile to Blitzo.. but as we learn he has every reason to be. With them debuting like this, it was easy to assume that they were yet another set of rogues to be added to the gallery, instead of valuable allies. It feels like a delberate bait and switch that MOSTLy works: thier a bit TOO cruel here to completely buy it.. but there's hints at who they are behind closed doors and it DOES make sense contexually: Moxxie did pick a sex club to do his song at instead of ANYWHERE else, simply because it was a big fancy place, so a little mockery is fair, and Fizz zeroing in on blitz is.. entirley in character given he truly hates the guy at this point. Only Ozzie saying what he did about stolas "trading his life for a thrust" feels disgenouious and even then he might simply not know the many complicated factors involved like Stella being awful or how much the divorce affected Octavia. The two know each other and it's clear from Oops stolas can easily book a meeting with the guy, but they aren't really FRIENDS or anything.

Still the two DO get their compuance as Millie wacks Fizz with a guitar. Sure they have to get out, but ... I mean Millie got away with el kabonging the boyfriend of one of the rulers of hell. That's still a hell of an achievement.

We also have the Stolits fallout which is still one of my faviorite scenes of the show. I talked about it in depth in my best episodes of 2021 list, but it's just so heartbreakingly good, even better having rebinged the series recently: you see how it's evolved, how Blitzo has this impression.. and how him laying it out really lays it in for Stolas how badly he fucked up and knowing what we know now, the last shot of Blitzo sobbing after seeing his mom.... it somehow hurts more.

The Circus

Full Confession: I almost forgot to put this one in here. I know, big oversight but it's easy to jump from Ozzies to Oops, which functions as a sequel to the former. The Circus itself is a sequel AND a prequel, both showing Stolas finally divorcing Stella after Ozzies and showing Stolas and Blitzo's pasts including just how we got to "sorry I fucked your husband", an origin story worthy of telling if ever there was one.

And while it is indeed mighty the main thing we're here for is Fizz.. whose in about maybe two, three minutes of the episode tops. But while I nearly glossed over this it is important as we finally see how the two interacted as kids: Fizz was both a star performer AND a surrogate son to Blitzo's dad while Blitzo... simply didn't have it yet. IT's clear from his acrobatic skills and poster in his office he later found his niche with his sister but as a kid he just didn't have the natural talent Fizz did and his morbid humor, referring to the only horse of his that dosen't explode as having lost it's legs from diabettes, simply dosen't fit the setting, while Fizzy, even as a child, is deft as hell at reading the crowd.

While the two are very diffrent.. it's clear BLitz and Fizzy were still super tight and simliar enough to play together. Granted Fizzy wants him to knock off the diabites jokes or he'll punch him, fizzy dosen't mind Blitzo's over the top violence or weirdness. It's clear he was one of the few people who ever understood this guy.. so what happened... wellllll

Oops!

While OZZIE's introduced these two hypocrites, it's Oops! that fleshes them out as people, as the episodes starts with the two when their not putting on a sex show for everyone. Their still horny as shit, I mean one of them IS lust himself, but it's clear while it's fuck o clock a lot at Ozzie's tower, the two have a loving supportive relationship that's just.. downright adorable.

It's shown from the start: Fizz is asleep on Ozzie's chest, wakes up, gets them coffee, and then wakes his lover up with an airhorn, a thing that clearly happens a lot and is a running bit with the two (Don't blame me blame how fucking fun they are) and we see the two help each other get ready for the day: Fizz wakes Ozzie up, prepares his schedule complete with these really fun reading glasses

I'm a sucker for someone wearing glasses that resemble 3d glasses.. or just 3d glasses like that one guy in back to the future

That guy is, without exageration

THE SHIT

It shows that while Fizzie's clearly the weirder flighteter one of the two, he still supports his boyfriend well and in a way that's vital: he's essnetially ozzie's assitant and he apparently has one or two as seen by this lady that walks in on them later.

Fun fact, I think she's really cute. Also fun fact I think her walking in, them doing couple shit and then trying to act like they were just fucking is just something she has to put up with every day. I mean this...

This isn't the look of someone whose COMPLETELY suprised by this, it's more the look of someone whose like "Okay you two keep kidding yourselves just leave me out of it".

Anyways back to the point at hand, Fizz still clearly does a lot for Ozzie and in turn Ozzie makes breakfast, resigned to the fast he just gets. .assigned this job... and to the fact of Fizz tried it again we'd die. I picture Fizz trying to make a pee wee herman style breakfast device and it going terribly. I also figure with Fizz's love of burgers for breakfast he orders burger king a disturbing amount and Ozzie is fine with it.

Anyways it's a sugary sweet scene but said cute freckle imp and /or sucuubus lady lady run in shows the contrast: between who they are in private and the face they put on for the public, that Fizz is just a fuck toy. It also highlights that it's.. unecessary. Their assitant dosen't seem to care and is more weirded out at the half assed show they put on for her. As we establish next episode practically everyone in hell who knew about the two knew it. Their only fooling themselves to keep up apperances. I COULD be wrong and there could be some fallout from them going public, we'll get to that later, but given we've now met Lucifer... I dont' think he'd care much about the sins acting like their sins as long as they get the shit they do done and keep their citizens happy. As long as Ozzy's willy wanka dildo factory is going strong, he dosen't give a shit. Man's got ducks and depression to keep him company. And now his daughter but we don't know where those episodes take place in relation to each other. Did helluva season 2 synch up with Hazbin season 1's 6 month, was it just season 1? Am I insane am I blind I just can't seem to trust so many regulations comin back at ya? viv please clear this up if you haven't already.

Where was I? Oh yes, point is the two really put on a show for a public that mostly dosen't care more than themselves. The only conflict they have is that Fizz wants to go out alone, and while Ozzie wanting to go with him everywhere COULD be a read flag.. Fizz is going to the greed ring which literally has a town called ransom. Like I said, Lucifer dosen't give a shit. OR didn't. Again this timeline is a lot to take in.

Fizz promises to be incognito.. but being both a literal fucking clown and Blitzo's foil... he arrives in a dildo confetti canon limo, with an army of queeves (dog like creatures that can strip someone to bone), this lasted all of 0 seconds.

It's then Fizz runs into an old friend.. yes it's Blitzo o clock as he was just getting coffee and happened to run into his old friend turned enemy he's seen all of once and the two argue for a bit, with Fizz accusing blitzo of stalking him, Blitzo pointing out how shitty a stalker that'd make him and then calling Fizz a purse dog, the only thing tha tgeninely pisses him off.

Just to prove this opening set piece runs on conicdence, just outside we run into two old foes; Crimson, moxxie's homophobic mafia don father and Striker, our faviorite cowboy imp suprimacist jackass. I like this use of both: Striker had already had his rematch with the m's and is still a personal enough foe to Blitzo, fucking with his bread and butter and all, to work solo, while Crim.. is a mafia don. Of course he has more things to do than plot revenge against his son.

It also underlines something about the show that was easy to forget in season 1: the villians.. aren't arc based for the most part. Striker and Stella are exceptions but most are introduced to likely have an episode later. Granted they could follow up on these characters faster, but I get that guys like the CHERUBS, DHORKS and crim himself, while likely having an end point at some point, are more threats to bring back later than a recurring backbone of the series. So bringing crim in for a normal day of buisness for him works. He's the crime boss of the greed ring, why woudln't he be doing crime boss things when not plotting his son's death.

In this instance it' sa job interview: Striker, presumibly fuming at how Stella alterted the deal and thus fucked up his chance to kill a royal, has decided to change bosses to someone more his speed. Crim wants a demonstration.. and our heroes happen to be outside arguing so he lassoes them in. Fizzy is now a hostage and Blitzo is a co-hostage simply because Striker assumes their friends

The upside of this kidnapping is it gives the two a chance to hash things out.. which naturally STARTS tense, as it tends to do when the last time you've spoken in 20 years involved public humilation and not the fun kind.

So naturally Blitzo tears into fizz, assuming OZzie dosen't care the relationship won't work etc etc, really just projecting every insecurity he has about him and stolas onto them, not able to accept a royal and an imp having an actual relationship. .because it'd force him to consider it actually possible and that the heartfelt texts, check ins and other stuff Stolas has been sending him since , presumibly Western energy (since their text history seems to only go back to the day after ozzies), and Stolas' genuine attempts to respect Blitz's space since, not flirting with him nearly as agressively and using his actual name. It's clear to everyone BUT Blitzo Stolas is putting in an actual effort, learned from his mistakes, and is trying... and the reason it isn't is that BLitzo KNOWS he is, can tell now on some level he wants more.. but his deep inscurties, the mess he's made of his previous relationships and his DEEP self loathing from events we're about to get into and others we likely aren't privy to yet make that hard. It's hard to accept that someone LOVES him and dosen't just want to fuck him and it's harder to accept this just.. might work.

Granted Blitzo gets that hammered in as Striker agrees with his denails because Striker is a suprmacist prick. He really was the perfect antagonist here: while crimson provides nice backing being the reason Striker did this plan and the resources to be an actaul threat and put forth a ransom demand, Striker does the heavy lifting, clearly hating both imps for being race traitors in his eyes and wanting both dead, NEARLY killing fizz simply for pissing him off.

Speaking of Ransom

This brings us to our b plot: Stolas , proving Blitz wrong with some dramatic irony, is having lunch with Ozy, wanting his help. We also get some more shading as Ozy rejects the idea of a love potion out right: he likes consent as much as he likes clown penis. Stolas however isn't a monster, and instead wants to give Blitzo a choice: he wants as asmodeon crystal, what the succubi use to travel since, for reasons we're not privy to yet, Ozy's one of the only ones allowed easy surface travel. Ozy rejects it: he WANTS to help but Fizz hates Blitzo for reasons he hasn't told his partner, and Ozy respects that, though he DOES sympathize.

Luckily for Ozy though stolas is there as Crimson springs his ransom plan.. which in hindsight is just... it...

Okay so Ransoming Fizzy.. ISN'T the dumb part. While it is fucking risky to ransom the lover of one of the 7 most powerful people in hell, we seen soon after Ozzy REALLY dosen't think clearly when Fizzy is in danger, and had Stolas not been there, he would've gladly blindly signed papers giving Crimson all his shit and allowing Crimson to kill fizzy.

The problem.. is Crimson is so damn smug he has no plan B, to a point i'm starting to think he's a fucking moron whose only been a threat because he has a LOT of resources and in his first apperance, still has an abusive hold on Moxxie. He shows his face, and while he dosen't say his name... not only am I sure one of the big bosses of hell itself can search for him by face.. CRIMSON PUTS HIS NAME ON THE CONTRACTS. This makes sense from a "I need to get his stuff" perspective, but not a "what happens if I somehow loose the clown" perspective. This isn't derailment as Crimson was just as short sighted with his last plan that assumed A) A notrious fuck up whose only assets are being hilarous and having a big dick wasn't lying to his face B) His son who ran away from him would do what he said and C) that the people he KNOWS are professional killers won't rescue moxxie in a pinch and will just die to his sloppy hitmen whose record so far in universe is 0 and 3 in actually killing anyone. 0 and 4 if the ones after Mimzy work for him, which they probably do, let's say 4 L's at this point. It works as Crim is mostly a threat due to his resources, and his vengeful impulsive personality both fits a mob boss, and makes him a good foil for his son/arch enemy: Moxxie overplans to the point of panic attacks, while Crimson underplans to the point his usually fall apart, not helped by him not understanding most people.

I'd also like to highlihgt one line I took at face value first two times around: Crimson calling Ozzie the "weakest of the sins". While it is possible Oz is the weakest... I forgot that hte person saying it is an overconfident jackass whose TRYING to underplay how powerful his opponent is. OF course he'd call Ozzie weak. Honestly, especially given the climax of our next episode, i don't think any power gaps within the sins are that huge until otherwise shown or stated: most of them are in the same boat of being so powerful in hell almost nothing else can really touch them: the only things above their league are Charlie, whose easily the nicest person in all of hell and won't fight unless pushed and this guy

Who likewise probably won't pummel you into the ground unless you piss him off bad, and the sins have known Lucifer long enough to know not to do that. I mean Mammon has plagerized him a lot and is still breathing. So while I do think Lucifer is a large reason for the stalemate, I also don't think he's naive enoguh to think the sins wouldn't start shit with one another subtly if they weren't just close enough in power to not backstab each other. They can posture, but a full on war would bring down the angelic fists of cuckining and no one wants that.

Thankfully for Ozzie though Stolas loves reading and is willing ot be his bird lawyer. Hoot hoot.

Thankfully for both of them though, Blitzo is plenty capable and while he makes a flashy dick of himself as usual, he DOES help fizz escape.

Eventually, as the two are dodging bullets, they can't dodge the issue and Fizzy finally explodes, revealing to the audience exactly WHY he hates blitzo and why they aren't friends these days.

So we get.. the fire. We find out on Fizz's birthday years ago Blitzo was going to confess, got upset seeing everyone else fawn over him and accidently set the place on fire and from Fizz's perspective ran the fuck away. As it turns out the white on Blitz's face, in a pretty stunning reveal honestly isn't some cool extra mark.. their burn scars, and the reason Fizzy is white faced.. is because he got it BAD. The cyborg arms weren't piece by piece replacing himself for fun and profit.. their necessary prosthetics. Fizzy lost everything he had that day: his home, his family, everything... and as BLitz tearfully reveals so did he as it's HEAVILY implied he ran to go save his mom.. and din't fail. I'd assume Blitz's dad died too but face it we're not that lucky.

This.. puts a lot into persective for Blitzo as a character and is part of why this episode is so great: We see WHY he hates himself so mucH: he lost his mom to an accident, lost his best friend who he was TRYING to confess to and his sister who blame him for it and .. well he' sprobably not lucky enough to loose his dad. Though when Cash DOES finally kick off hopefully loona will lift her dad up so he can dance on his casket. He los teverything and can't feel he deserves love as a result, while still DESPERATELY wanting it as seen with his constant stalking of m and m or how he treats Loona. The sad part is he dosen't even have to go that far: while they don't want to fuck him the m's do like and respect him and Loona does love him, she just had he rown issues to adress.

The good news about this trauma.. is it finally get the two over their trauma and to start reconcling. Before they can though they need a distractoin so we get look at this, a hilarious number that Fizz apparently used to sing to distract Blitzo's dad to so Blitz can steal booze and is here a flimsy escalating number as Fizz tries to distract. I also like how Fizz.. isn't a combatant. He's a performer and didn't have to learn to fight and has had the protection of two diffrent sins.. granted Mammon's "protection' isn't exactly healthy but more on that in a moment.

The two escape and collapse the warehouse crimson was using on him.. but Striker is still after them at this point just wanting pure vengance. I also love how not only does his "break you like a horse threat fail" predictbly on Blitzo but Fizz's suprised "your still on the horse thing?" There's just so much good banter between the two this episode, brightman and rogers have great chemistry.

While Fizz gets a new kink and Striker finally reaches his limit of his foes kinks, Blitzo saves fizz then saves him from fire this time, finally reconcling the two. Of course this being Blitzo he has to fuck it up by asking if they can make out but it's a start.

It's also a nice possible turning point for the series: i'ts early to call if this is just a one time thing or if Blitz will get the chance to do this more.. but it's the first time Blitz has been confronted with someone from his past.. and it hasn't blown up in his face. With Verosika he clearly hates her as much as she hates him and her smug attitude and treatment of Moxxie just cemented it, and with Barbie she didn't WANT to forgive him. With Fizz.. he WNATED to at least try again, the two just never had the chance. Someone kept Blitz from speaking to him. And now it's finished.. the two are buddies again. Blitzo HAS an honest to god friend whose also not working for him and who, one attempt aside, he isn't trying to bang and Fizzy has someone besides his partner to go to. They needed each other.. and now they have each other.

Wrapping up the rest Fizz returns, and Stolas leaves now his part in things (getting a better deal on the ransom Ozzie now dosen't have to pay), is done leaves Fizzy to get fucked.. after he and ozzie kill the lawyer who stupidly thinks he can run after this. The ending, like the start is a genuinely sweet moment from the two and shows off a neat other side to Ozzie: he's a mechanical genius, having designed the arms (Or at least the model Fizzy uses now) nad is th eone who repairs them for his lover any time they get hurt. While granted Ozzy also wants Fizzy to never leave again, Fizzy's fine with that given teh whole kidnapping and just as fine to share some kinks.. and to let Blitz have his crystal. He's more than earned it. A sweet ending to one of teh shows best.. an da good lead into our closing act tonight

MAMMONS MAGINFICENT MUSICAL MID-SEASON SPECIAL

So we've come ot the episode that clinched this idea for me and brotoman, one of the series best and at the time of this writing the latest episode. Will I do anothe rone of these in a year or two or follow up on other fizz episodes? Probably. But for now this is our grand finale and it delivers. While Helluva Boss slowly became a musical over it's run, likely inspired by viv doing the same to it's sister series, this is the episode that leans the heaviest into it: 4 songs, all bangers, and one big story.

It's also the shows' first stab at an episode focused on the series side cast. This reminds me most of the simpsons: While they aren't the only one to do this, Simpsons is famous for having a war chest of spotlight episodes focusing on the other characters. The simpsons are still involved but how much can range from Lisa's Date with Density, where Nelson is a main feature but Lisa is just as important, to A fish Called Selma, which focuses entirely on Selma and Troy McClure who you may remember from such episodes as Selma's choice, Lisa the vegetarian and Bart's Friend Falls in Love.

This one reminds me of the latter: Blitz is involved and is plot important, but he's not the focus. The episode's entirely on fizz and it's a larger gamble than you'd think: Fans love fizz and Alex Brightman gives a remakrable performance and showed last ep he more than had the range with this character to carry an episode, this both the second episode with only Blitzo in it out of IMP in a row, and in a season that, while I love it, does have it's pacing issues. So throwing down an episode about a popular side character was a risk.. but it's one that paid off gloriously. Clearly fans were hear for it as even people who don't like this season love this episode and i'm hoping it means Fizz will only show up more as we go.

So for the episode itself we start with a flashback

Fizz and Blitz are going to see teachers and it's here we get one of the best villians in the franchise so far and certainly one of the most hilaroius, MAMMON.

Mammon is our third sin and voiced by Smiling Friends and YOLO creator Micheal Cusak, a casting choice I didn't see coming, but is perfect. Not only does it help ease the gap till Smiling Friends and/or YOLO return, but his loud , boisterous australian style perfectly fits the loud, obnoxious mammon, with just enough subtely. He's like Krusty the Klown if he got the bad ending.

Mammon's intro is brilliant spending his time constantly spewing profanity, shilling to a crowd that spent every dime to get here, and promoting his next big thing: an annual clown pagent. It's like one of those fucked up beauty contests for kids but it's with clowns so IT'S BETTER. We also get a fuckton of great jokes from him taking a whole second to wlak back saying he'll exploit the winner, to saying women aren't funny as Viv's writing credit comes up, to my faviorite saying the winner will be like the son he's never had and Mammon will be like the stepdad who only loves you when it's convienent.

Mammon is also a departure as he's the first of the sins, and so far the only one of four, to be just.. straight up evil. All of them are mildly sketchy with Ozzy being a dick in public, Bee shoving cake in people's mouths and having a shitty adoptions system and Lucifer being incredibly neglectful until five minutes ago.. but all are at their cores decent people: Ozzy prioritzes consent and is a loving, caring supportive partner, Bee is both also a good partner and is a kind, vivacious person that dosen't want her patrons endulging just to hide their pain, is genuinely impressed to be drunk under the table, and her response to someone having a clear defenseive crush on her boyfriend.. is to borderline invite her to join, while my boy Lucifer had his dreams snapped in half and when called out on being a cyncial asshole, reveals PART of why he wasn't supportive of his kid was a worry the angels would fuck her up the same way they fucked him up, and when shown just HOW important her dreams are, backs her 100%, showing mercy to an enemy who dosen't deserve it when she asks, swooping in to save the day (if late for reasons i'm sure we'll learn later), and helping her get her spirit back up after a terrible loss. Each embodies their sin but they do so responsibly: Ozzy values consent, Bee values not using it as coping, and Lucifer is egotistical, but also uses that ego to help others and to help his daughter be proud of herself and what she's acomplished after she can't see it.

In contrast Mammon is every nasty thing about greed there is: he's selfish beyond all measure, wanting only what makes him money, cares nothing about the consequences, and will gladly exploit anyone who can make him money, throw htem out of they don't, and keep milking them dry till he's gotten every last dollar even if it kills them. He cares not one iota of a shit for the consequences of his actions as long as he gets paid. It's telling that while Lust is simply a red light district and sex toy making (and presumibly selling) mecca, Gluttony is a nicely apointed sky, and Pride is a luxiruous, if crime ridden, city... Greed is an industrial hell hole where toxic waste runs rampant and the crime seen in Pentagram City is dialed up to ungodly levels. Ozzie is neglectful like Lucifer.. but dosen't have Lucifer's excuse for it or eventaul comeback. He just dosen't care and never will.

The show, which we don't see in full end sup disapointing blitz, who isnt happy he spent his life savings to watch his idol vomit on stage and bury them in clowns, but Fizz BADLY wants that prize depsite Blitz's assurance he dosen't need it. We also meet Arick

Arick is an obessive stalker and it's very clear both from design and just how he's portrayed.. Viv's drawing from personal experince: Arrick comes up to fizz, gushes about how much he loves his work.. then talks about how they coudl work together ina very posseive and creepy way, how it could be bette rif he was involved and making Fizz very uncomfortable till Blitz tells him to fuck off.. and even then that dosne't completely stop him as he begs Fizzy to not make him go then turns on him when he understandably rejects the creepy guy whose been stalking him. Arrick's opinon shoudln't matter.. but dispaointing ANYONE clearly affects Fizz, something I can relate to: that drive to, even if someone's treating you like shit, make them care about you and want to make everyone love you. When... really not everyone's going to like you let alone love you and accepting that is healthy.

So we cut to a ways after with Mammon promoting robo Fizzy and how "YOU CAN FUCK HIM", and how Fizz got what he wanted.. but is clearly DEEPLY uncomfortable with semi sentient robot duplicates of himself creepy people can fuck.

So we finally get to the present: It's the clown pagent again and Fizz wins every year. It's also something Ozzy REALLY dosen't want him to do, as not only is it not necessary given his win streak and the amount of money he has.. but it's not healthy. in one of my faviorite lines all show Ozzy makes it clear he's known mammon a LONG time, since hell started, and knows just what a manipulative talentless prick he is, and he's somehow gotten worse , making nothing and explotiing others for money. "He can eat my ass. In a bad way. " It's clear from how much fizzy is stressing about a possible blemish and his weight that Ozzie is right.. but he also can't convince his boyfriend out of this. Fizzy NEEDS to do this.

So Ozzy calls for backup: since he both can't be there for publicty and since Fizzy only apparently has one friend, he calls Blitzo, whose milling around on a saturday afternoon, presumably watching reruns of "Yeah I Fucked Your Sister So What?". I love Blitz's reaction to ozzi'es call too calling him " your sin— Sinness? Sinfulness? Sin— [stammering] Ya royal, big man?" but still being casual. He's still Blitz, not bowing to standards.. but is still respectful, both knowing the gap between the two is wide.. and that Ozzie clearly deserves it as he clearly makes Fizz happy.

And being a good partner Ozzie is calling Fizz entirely because he CAN'T help Fizz with this: the pagent's bad for him, mammon is REALLY bad for him, but Fizz has also clearly heard this song and dance so many times it's become white noise to his crippling nisecurites, even with Ozzie correctly figuring out his partner hates the sex robots and the creepier fans they give. So Fitz needs someone to both protect him, and to get in his ear so he can get the strength to end this himself.

We also get a really nice touch as both previous times Blitzo's been asked to be a bodyguard, he was pissed, only accepting when Stoals offered to pay him monnneeeey and rejecting a possible repeat "it was a one time thing we did poorly". Here.. he agrees without a remote fight and while it could be because Ozzie simply won't take his shit like Stolas would it comes off more like he wants to: even if it's not on brand.. his friend needs him and when a friend's boyfriend asks for help you help him.

At the pagent Ozzie prepares to clear out, though Fizz pretty much sees through it, not calling ozzie out but finding it very weird he suddenly hired his best friend for security calling it "a little sus babe". It's also a nice moment as i'ts clear Fizz is annoyed at the transparent attempt to put someone they both trust on Fizz's shoulder for a situation Ozzie hates... but also gets on some level his boyfriend is just looking out for him and that Blitz being here isn't inherently harmful.

What is is Mammon who right away questions fizzy's weight while needling him with doubts he could win, hoping he does "You won't let me down right". And this part.. shows range with Cusak I didn't know he had. Don't get me wrong he's brilliant in both Smiling Friends and Yolo... but usually when he's creepy there it's loud and acomplanied with nightmarish animation. Here he takes a character whose loud as hell.. and has him get quiet and manipulative. Just the tone he takes SOUNDS concerned.. but you can just feel the manipulation coming off it, something anyone who isn't his victim could see... but easily works on Fizz. It's something tons of performers have gone through and heartbreakingly so, and something that's just.. chillingly realistic. It's one of the creepeist moment sin the franchise.. just how CASUAL mammon is with ita nd how much he's clearly done it.

Blitzo is here this time and not only stops the fucker but calls him out. This is another nice subtle thing I didn't notice my first few times watching this one but sunk in on binge watching the series through again: Blitzo.. has met all three sins introduced on this show thus far, and thus we get a nice range of his reactoins: with Bee he treats her like anyone else, which fits as she treats everyone equally and is fairly down to earth and observant, if still just insulated enough to miss some cues here and there. With Ozzie he's also casual, but more respectful, trying to give him a title and being honest with him. He respects Ozzie enough for titles, but is still himself with the guy as he clearly has learned to trust the royal big man, or at least trust what he and fizz has is 100% real.

With Mammon... he's confrontational.. but only because he DOSEN'T respect him: Mammon could end his ass righ tthen and there.. and he dosen't give a fuck. he's a terrible performer, an abusive prick and deep down blitzo knows he's not stupid enough to threaten what image he has left by killing someone in a large crowd.. I mean I asssume every sin has done this, but doing so because some guy talked shit about you to protect his friend isn't great optics.

We then meet the twins, Glitz and Glam played by Faye Mata of Miraculous Ladybug Fame. Yes those of you who have also suffered through that monolith of a show, WE GOT ANOTHER ONE. Sinners rejoice. The two are catty, insulting fizzy right away and not even getting laong too well, your standard contest episode heels. Also credit to the episode it's easy to tell them apart both by personality and appearnce; Glitiz is the manic one with mask like fins ove rher eyes, and glam is the more reserved one next to her. Naturally Blitz wants Fizzy to "piledrive those sluts" on principal now.

We get our first song next, Juggling iz Cool, by a guest performer near and dear to my heart, Austrlian singer, Tik Tokker/ youtuber (I use the latter, the former I mostly avoid), and mustache man Tom Cardy, a comedy singer with a great libary form songs that use "Human centpede: as a chorus , to painting ladies to toally not avoid sex, to planet metaphors to help you discover your self worth, to one of my faviorites Jurassic Park 10: it's dino time, where Tom accurately sums up the jurassic park movies while sick and possibly high on cough medicine, then creates his own ones giving us the now iconic line "I should not have given my robot dinosaur a penis, because like anything with a penis it's going to want to use its penis" said as if he's mildly drunk on cough syrup. His music is impeciable as his song topics can be utterly insane. Give him a listen.

Juggling is cool is a nicely tense tune showing just how much pressure fizz is on as Tom narates the contest, nicely conveying the tension the poor guy is feeling as the Twins easily equal him. What i laso like is that while the twins are jerks... their GENUINELY good. They have talent, even setting themselves on fire, and easily equal Fizz and despite their arguments pre show are perfectly in sink.

It also works because ultimately the contest.. dosen't matter. Fizz WANTS to win and we want him to win.. but th ereal conflict isn't "will fizz win or not" but... "SHOULD he keep doing this or not". He's got a supportive boyfriend who will support him emotinally and finacially, he's got enough fame to do whatever the fuck he wants next. Fizz attributes everything he has to Mammon.. but Mammon was simply the right opportunist in the right time. The talent's all Fizzy.. the explotation's all mammon. Even when Fizzy wants something resonable as a break instea dof doing a singing, Mammon guitls him into it.

Granted.. Fizzy IS really good at interacting with his fans and it's clear while assholes like Arick plauge viv regularly, as they do any celebreity sadly, this scene gives us the impression there's been plenty of GOOD fan reactions to counter act that, as Fizzy eagerly plays the crowd and we get one of the standout scenes of the episode when he talks asl with a young fan. It's a nice little bit that shows while a lot of his fandom are exausting.. Fizzy GENUINELY loves his fans and to interact with them. His love of performing is there: we saw it at ozzies. He loves playing a crowd. It's just exausting when parts of those crowd don't see you as a human being.

Speaking of which Arrick returns, calling out fizzie.. .and a creepy fantasy of Fizzy on a leash in a gimp suit makes it clear just what his "love" means. Nothing wrong with bondage, after all..

But it's clear Viv likes using leashes as a symbol of toxic relationships, seen by the chain leash that can be summoned by contracts in hazbin, the chains blitzo saw in his halluciintion in truth seeker and this one here.

Arick isn't as lucky this time as Blitz is now less a teenage dirtbag baby and instead an experinced assasian not affraid to blow his head up in front of a bunch of children. Arick backs off.. for now but it's clear the encounter rattled poor Fizzy and rather than show actual sympathy Mammon once again fakes it.. but glares to make it clear he expects him to perform.

He does "agree" to put the twins on first but it's once again a manipulation tactic. It's what makes mammon so unsettling here: every move to fizz is just another form of gaslighting and you can see the strings... but Fizzy either can't.. or has simply internalized them.

So with this we get Klown Bitch, a true banger of a song, performed by Allison Kaplan subbing in for Glam and Faye Mata still rocking glitz. THe result is a sexy, well done pop number that sums up the duo, their using sex to sell things, and their talent as the harmonies are just delcious. The lighting is also aweosme, being blue, shifting to a purple for Glitz' rapid fire rap solo, and highlithing the two, while mimicing biolumensince. And i'll admit some bias: I like fish women and I like siren songs. But i'm not SO horny that I can't see great production value, killer singing, and god tier animation for what it is, and what it is is excellent. This is easily one of the best looking bits of the series so far.. and only isn't best... because of what's to come.

So naturally a number this good leaves Fizzy having a nervous breakdown since mammon's too busy on his throne to gaslight him out of it this time. Blitz has done what he can, planting the seeds of doubt that Fizzy REALLY needs mammon, even if he's trying not to listen... but ultimately he's simply not who his best friend needs nor the guy to give a heartfelt pep talk. I mean I think he has it in him but it'd take a lot to get him there and Fizzy dosen't have tha tkind of time.

So instead Blitzo summons Ozzie, who despite not being in the crowd.. INSTANTLY teleports to his lovers side. No risk of their relationship being revealed for what it is is worth Fizzy's pain.

Ozzy is FINALLY able to draw out why Fizzaroli is having a panic attack.. he's worried he's not good enough. The pagent is an annual reinforcment that he deserves everything he has and the poor clown feels if he looses it he'll loose it all: that if he can't PROVE he's talented, prove he's the best, prove himself he'll loose Ozzie. Despite having come far, gotten everything Blitzo wanted.. he still has every bit the self loathing his bestie does, just channeled diffrentlY: Blitzo channels his into self destructive bullshit, pushing people away before he assumes he'll loose them, while Fizz goes the opposite route: instead of pushing what he loves away, he works himself to near death to keep something he was never going to loose. Both are deeply unhealthy, ones just easier to see. It's why Ozzie hasn't been able to get through to him: Fizz wasn't honest with the real reason.. or his body dismorphia, utterly hating his burned broken horns underneath his neat hat.

Thankfully Ozzie finds a way around this by both pointing out WHY he loves him.. and exactly what he finally needed to hear.

"Fizz, Mammon didn't do shit. You already were this. You'd be this no matter what! You are the most inspiring demon I have ever known, and meeting you was the best thing that ever happened to me. I adore your inventiveness, your attitude, your resilience. Aaaaand you're just the cutest little thing alive. *nuzzles Fizz's cheek* Also, you are a waaaay better performer than Mammon ever was, and thaaat's just facts."

It's what Fizz needed and what those of us with a lot of sel floathing need; someone telling you ou don't suck, you've earned what you got, and your a good person.

To hammer this in we get our penultimate number, crooked.

Crooked is a song that has reallyg rown on me since last time I saw it. It's a fantastic song, but it's sandwitched between "two minutes of watery fanservice" and "a glorious triumphant fuck you to someone who defintely deserve it", It's a great song, but it's sandwitched between two other great songs that have a slightly memorable presentation.

Crooked by contrast is a simple r n b love ballad.. but damn if it isn't adorable. James Monroe Engleheart once again gets to flex his voice but this time instead of a grandose display of lust, it's a tender display of love. It's a beautiful song where Ozzie gently shoots down Fizzy's self doubt pointing out he's not wasting his time, he's got nothing but it, and that there's so much in Fizzy he can't see. I'ts sweet and the oh oh oh's are just.. such a godo touch, being both sexual and romantic and just perfect.

Naturally after this tender display, we get.. Arrick who bursts in with a knife

Thankfully Blitz blows his head off SECONDS after he enters and clearly heard the whole thing, congradulating the two on being fucking hyocprites, someting warrnated, welle arned.. but also clearly in good nature: he won't hestiate to needle them about how many airs they put on about just beign sexual.. but he gets they need each other.

So with this we transition directly into our final number. I wans't kidding abotu the sadnwtiched things. There isn't all that much between Crooked and two minutes notice.

So .. there's no easy way to say this.. Two Minutes NOtice.. is the best sequence in the series so far. It's gorgeously animated, packed with tiny details, beautifully caps off the episodes themes, and has the series best song by far. And both as the best sequence in the show and the best musical number it has a LOT of competittion that it just.. blows out of the water.

There's just so much expressivness in Fizzy's movement, so many fluid and fun moves, even the little things like how he lights a match on his own arms to spell out fuck you in the sky or his big smile while doing his acrobatics during the first chorus. It's a joyous celebration that shows just how.. LIBERATING this fuck you is to Fizz, after years of eeling like he needs mammon.. he now knows what and thus spends two minutes+ telling him to eat shit.

What also sells it is story wise.. it's a fucking perfect parallel to the oepning: mammon gave his hordes of fans a half assed show promoting other shit he was doing and apparently vomiting on stage. Fizzy, fresh off both a panic attack AND a stalker barging in and seeing said stalkers brains go out, without any time to really prepare, IMPROVISES a routine that' sincredibly acrobatic, has tons of extra stunts packed in he does effortlessly from the fire writing to the now iconic riding on the ball bit to slapping his own ass (And Ozzie hiding his erection is just.. pricless. And somehow adorable. Never has hiding your boner been this sweet), all with a charm and charismA. We'd seen enough of Fizzy to know he's a talented performer.. but this shows EVERYTHING he has laid on the table to give his fans one final farewell for now. He could've half assed it or even jus topened with quitting.. but he cared enough to put on one hell of a show to end this chapter in his career. The love of his fans was clear before, but little bits like him going into the crod to interact iwth them or telling the deaf fan from earlier thank you... it's very clear this man didn't want to let them down. He's not doing the show for Mammon.. he's doing it for them and he's doing it for himself.

The song is also just great, a fantastic beat, Sam haft outddid himself, and Brightman's vocals at their absolute best. The show's going to hav ea HARD time topping this and it's okay if it dosen't.

So Mammon.. didn't really get the point till Fizzy, post song, thanks all his fans before quitting. And once he does. .he's fucking furious, angrily shouting at Fizzy, dropping the illusion of kindness and jus straigh tup lapsing into abuse. And Fizzy.. just flips him off. Mammon lost his power over him the second he stopped letting him have it. It's telling who has the real power in this conversation when MAMMON resorts to his full form, a giant spide rmonster form it and scremaing at Fizzy with the voice of the legion. It's genuinely terrifying and Micheal Cusak does a great job making this throughly silly monster into a regular one once again.

Unfortuantely for him.. it's just.. not working. Fizzy has zero fear of Mammon. evne if he kills him.. all Mammon has done is insure no one is going to want to actually work for him unless their really that desperate. I mean there are people that desperate but it's still a pretty big gamble.

Thankfully before Mammon can shout some more or do some spider shit, Ozzy steps in, having already been ready to the moment Mammon made the mistkae of going full spider.. and naturally Ozzie has the cooler form, his normal form but with a crimson middle head and his two other heads now fully manifested. How he does it is also awesome, standing behind fizz like h'es his fucking stand, fully bared.

Mammon.. isn't thereanted, planning to use the old chesnut that's hung over the two since the start; revelaing thir relationship. Problem is, and in a nice subtle arc.. it's clear the dyas events have finally hamered it in for Ozzie that who knows about thema nd who dosen't.. dosen't fucking matter. He loves Fizzy, Fizzy loves him, and he's finally ready to shout it, with Fizzy being genuinelys hcoked when Ozz says he dosen't care.. and even more when eh reveals it to a crowd

"What that I lvoe him, well I do"

And the crowd.. goes apeshit for it, complete with the hilarous guy with a three phone duel disk and Mammons' response is a hilarously subdued "oi, ya dirty bitch". He tells Ozzie he'll regret this, and he probably has some evil shit planned... but for now Mammon.. ha slost. Fizzy has his freedom, he and Ozzie can be pub lic damn the consequences. It's the perfect capper to a perfect episode.

For now the members of the crowd mammon didn't kill are happy, our heroes are happy.. and Blitz wants to know who tops.

So yeah.. I love this episode... adn it made me truly love this character, it's gorgeously done and damn i't sgood.

Overally Fizz... has a strong arc, one built with small hints at first but then hitting full tilt with what's essentially a two parter. I was happy to cover him and i'll be happy to cover this unvierse again any time. Thanks for reading and happy almost valnetine's day.

[megaawkwardhuman]

GUESS WHAT'S FINALLY HERE BITCHESSSSSSSSS!?!?!?

after a rollercoaster of a week for me y'all have NO IDEA how happy this makes me to say but

THE TRAILER FOR SEASON 5 IS OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and that means looking far too much into it!!!!! :D

OK so I have A LOT of thoughts so I'm going to do bullet points

right off the bat (hehehhe bat) nandor never fucking change XD love how he thought that would work

oh yeah speaking of nandor we have a scary lack of him in the trailer or at least what he's going to do this season (mom pick me up I'm scared for my cringefail)

to say what's on everyone's mind OH MY FUCKING GOD FINALLY LET'S GOOOOOOO

MY BOY DID IT HE'S GOING TO BE A VAMPIRE DFOJWEBOKFHEJBKGREHIWLGJHIGKFEIYWLEGUKFELIQPEGDFKIELYUQ;OWDGFKLHI3U1;O

well at some point? by the looks of it we're kinda getting a have your cake and eat it too when it comes to guillermo being a vampire and ngl kinda upset about it if it's going how I think it's going

I swear if he's practically normal until the very fucking end I will raise HELL

also I love how chaotic his turning is XD

"I WASN'T READY" NOBODY IS

colin for office babyyyyyyyy

I see everyone talking about colin and nadja BUT WHY IS NOBODY TALKING ABOUT THIS IJRBH302HGOUFRHI3YGUFE3HI2PUO LMFAOOOOOOO XD

also (DON'T QUOTE ME ON THIS) I think this is the first time we're seeing colin flirt/do anything remotely romantic or whatever to a dude in the show (which confirms that every main character is queer but we already knew that lol)

the scene with the microphone woke me up (well so did vamp guillermo but the mic REALLY woke me up)

so the guy in the promo WAS nandor huh

WLW NADJA LET'S GOOOOOO

love how outdated laszlo's medical stuff is

YAY HE'S NOT GOING TO WEAR ONLY SWEATERS SO HE'S POSSIBLY NOT GOING TO GO BACK IN CHARACTER AS I FEARED

d-did nandor bring guillermo to a basketball game out of jealousy?

IS THAT A HAMMER!?!?!

NANDOR WTF ARE YOU GONNA DO!?!?!?!?!?!??!

nadja pouring coffee on her date's plate XD

ayyyy the sire!

ok I'm assuming part of nadja's and colin's plots will revolve around getting a date??????

THE MALL

I'VE BEEN WANTING TO SEE THE VAMPIRES AT A MALL FOR A WHILE NOW JBIFEWE2OBJFEOGHPI2EFBEJOHIP2E THIS MAKES ME SOOO HAPPY

I'm assuming the store nandor is at is a hot topic/spencer's stand in

if it is PLZ LET THERE BE A LOOKING AT THE BACK OF SPENCER'S SCENE (for those who have never step foot in a spencer's it's basically a common mall store that has edgy shit and the back is known for having sex toys and other nsfw shit in it think of it as the edgy older brother of hot topic)

"that's how we all learn" UHHH TF!??!

glad to see laszlo accept guillermo and help him learn how to vampire :) (let's hope the others will)

also NANDOR YOU SAW NOTHING

DAAAAAAMN COLIN JESUS FUCK

by the looks of it nadja and colin's plots will at some point involve dating??????

AWWWWWW charmaine is supportive of sean

this has been said a million times but NANDOR IS FUCKING CUTE IN HIS SEAN COMING OUT OUTFIT!!!!!! THE LITTLE BELLY!!!!!!!

if I remember correctly (AND I REALLY HOPE I'M WRONG) but the last time we saw nandor THIS happy was during the wellness canter cluster fuck so I'm REALLY glad he's going to be happy this season

YOOOO SEASON 4.5?????? (1 I know it was a talk show in 4.5 2 yeah I made this joke already XD)

WHY IS NADJA A BLONDE?????

theory: whatever happened the guide is happening to nadja

the only thing to back it up: they both be blonde

AW SHIT WHY IS THERE A COP CAR?????

THE GUIDEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

COLIN X NADJA!?!!!?!?

I MEAN SURE I GUESS???????????????

YEAH SAME GUILLERMO

I'm assuming that what he said is in reaction to him being told he's a dhampir or he's immune or something like that

SHE'S TRYING TO GET SOMEONE TO FUCK HER GHOST

hUh weird but ok????

and finally WHAT'S WITH THE MOON SHIT?????

theory: guillermo only shows signs of being a vampire at night which is why he can go out during the day without being burnt to a crisp

overall IJOHEU2P1HIWJBGEU21RPHI2JLGRHILUFHIPUWEQJFU9WGFJDKHIEPQKFVDVGJR THIS HAS BEEN ON MY MIND ALL DAY HOW TF AM I GOING TO BE NORMAL I HAVE A PARTY TODAY?????? 😭😭😭

CAN'T WAIT DEPOJWBJDOEEFBOOEFONFEONFE

[myimaginarywonderland]

I liked Checo for a long while. I have nothing against him, in fact I would say my feelings are nowadays neutral/positive towards him.

But as a team RedBull has just fully decided to hammer that final nail in the coffin.

This is the team that has had so many talented young drivers they couldn't even offer all of them a seat. This is the team that ruthlessly forced a driver out of his main seat after getting a podium. This is the team that has ruthlessly let go both Pierre and Alex at a time where they were arguably performing bigger and there was much less at stake.

Perez is a liability. Perez is going to lose them the constructors. Hell 80% of the grid would not be able to hold back the combination of the McLaren driver and that is speaking for pairing not a singular driver that is already struggling with the car.

Do I think Checo is a bad driver? Absolutely not.

Do I think the car isn't good enough to be the top team anymore? Absolutely.

Do I think realistically Max is outperforming it and the car is probably around Ferraris performance? Yes.

But all of those are precisely why they need someone else. Checo can barely even get the points. Ferrari is their own worst enemy but their car is clearly able to compete with both Mercedes and McLaren on a good day.

With how close not only McLaren is but also Mercedes and Ferrari, RedBull can not afford the accept that best of the rest is enough.

They need to fight for every single point. Checo can't do that right now so you get literally anyone else that your team is connected to.

If ever there was a justified time for a mid season switch it was now.

This clearly shows how bad the situation at the team is. It is clearly divided into two sections and with how they are going they will lost the biggest one which contains Max.

Furthermore there is no justification for keeping Ricciardo in a team that they claim to be independent of them if not to get him into RedBull. There is no doubt in my mind Yuki is strong and experienced enough to be a team leader and with all the amazing young drivers in the lower categories + Liams still lingering performance from last year, every independent team would now be looking at replacing one of their drivers with a younger one that they can build there future around.

This is a cluster fuck of a situation that brings me ever closer to two conclusions:

1.) Max will leave RedBull as soon as Newey is gone and it will be entirely there fault.

2.) Ricciardo has no actual justication for staying on the grid anymore since Yuki is still the superior driver and the younger one that has a more promising future.

[sinelanguage]

and for the museum of the day i was Considerably more excited for: the National Museum of Modern Art!! splitting this into two parts for my sanity, main exhibit first

one thing that impressed me about this museum was the overall presentation of descriptions used. a lot of art museums will present some information and context to the piece, but the national museum specifically tried to encourage people to read the text (metaphorically) and engage in Thoughts. it was pretty neat to look at a piece then see what specific emphasize the museum curator wanted to put on something.

For example, Nakanishi Natsuyuki’s piece Compact Object was described like this:

Fish bones, a rubber ball, a clock, seashells, hair.. this egg-shaped object seems to be packed with the contents of a garbage can. Or is it a time capsule, capturing a fleeting moment during a certain era? Nakanishi staged performances by bringing these clusters of everyday objects into public spaces, such as in the streets and on trains. His intent seems to have been to carry a microcosm of the world in his hands rather than to produce a sculpture that sits on a pedestal.

which, imo, does a decent job at explaining the intent but also promoting people to think about the intent going into objects on a level a bit further than just “here’s what this means.” this was pretty consistent in the museum’s presentation, which I really appreciated.

The other thing I thought was incredibly funny was this fucking. diary entry they had on display. keep in mind i was dead on my feet in this museum writing down notes to post to my tumblr blog and then read kishida ryusei’s diary from 1923:

Woke up around 10 o clock with a slight headache. Not surprising since i was up unttl three last night talking with Senge [Motomaro] and others, and that's why I overslept. Took a bath after breakfast. Got on the 1:49 pm train to Tokyo and then a taxi to Shintomiza. The play was about to start. My seat was excellent. Sendai Hagi is a famous kabuki play, but it was the first time I had actually seen it. The scenes performed were: the Bamboo Room, Cooking Rice, Under the Floor, The Showdown, The Scar. All of these were fascinating. I's not often these days that l immerse myself as deeply in kabuki as I did this time.

me, two museums in, feeling a profound kinship with this artist from a century ago writing a diary entry about his hang over but going to tokyo for three plays. as i write notes in my phone about art. incredible.

For actual pieces though there were quite a few:

Kayama Mayazo, Waves in Spring and Autumn thought this piece had a lot of really neat spins on some classic imagery (mountains, seasonal trees, waves/water). I especially liked the details of the waves breaking— the waves themselves were this even, looping/fluid lines but the edges were crashing with noisy scribbles

Komaki Gentaro, Bricks and a Squirrel: this is one of those “can’t explain myself”. the bricks had a very weird wood grain pattern, paired with a squirrel in this frightening black orb, completely surrounded. sometimes ur just a squirrel in an orb

Nomiyama Gyoji, The Withered: i like organic things in weird, inorganic messes. this was like, a rat king but with branches, and it was confusing to look at. enjoyed it a lot.

Kodama Yasue, ambient light - sakura: this is exactly what it says on the tin but for what it is it works really well. it’s just the impression of looking up at Sakura blossoms through sunlight, and man is it effective at it. I think in person this works better just for the size and detail of it- it captures the feeling of looking up through foliage very well and was very pretty to boot

Takanashi Yutaka, Hongo: Mansada Parlor, 6-17-1 Hongo, Bunkyo-ku from Machi imo all of takanashi’s photos had this very lived in quality to them, like a photo taken of a place that feels deeply familiar and like home. The collection overall has these deep colors and contrasts with mundane settings and a large amount of visual objects/interest, so it made the feel of the piece really nice (photos here)

overall: really solid, probably doesn’t beat the contemporary art museum but that’s just because my taste is what it is. for an art museum though, i really appreciated the approach and curation

[sempsimps]

undertaker x reader

this is mostly gender neutral, but using the female body parts for the good stuff, ya know

actual text i had before writing this;

me: gonna be real i want undertaker to raw dog me in a coffin and then give me one of those fucking biscuits

bestie: i- holy shit. real

SO THIS IS THAT LMAO there we go literally that, but the new season got me re watching the whole of black butler and thinking of unholy shit (the things I would do in Sebastian's confession box oof) anyway that's a little off topic and i just aaaa with this new season it's so good and ill definitely be making like 2 at least on Gregory violet so stayed tuned for that but ANYWAY WHAT YOU ACUALLY CAME HERE TO READ NOW

Warnings:

He's kinda creepy (but we love that about him)

Mentioned fitting in a coffin (is that even a warning)

Undertaker is a warning as he is

If your cluster phobic get out

You fell into a coffin dumbass (with a hint of cliché writing)

Pussy eating (oh no the horror- actually with him probably)

Some light cuts they bleed a little (made by man's acrylics)

Bites hickeys scratches (a part masochist wet dream)

You actually don't finish because of him being a tease and other people

is it considered necrophilia becuse he's dead?? idfk shower thought leave me be

it was a weekend, and the servants convinced you to come into London town for the day as well as your sister, but as they got closer to the destination you wanted to go, to you strayed from the pack and headed into the undertakers shop, to see him might as well since your free today, and the others were busy shopping.

Honestly, it was a match made in hell, as the earl described it. you were into the strange and unusual, and undertaker is the very definition of idiosyncratic. you worked with ceil on the police as an allies, and that's how you two solved many things. yall had connections beforehand anyway, ceil is like the little brother you never had, and you treat him just like that, especially when it came to his betrothed, your sister. but in his defence, he brought you to the undertaker. Ceil was trying and failing to make the undertaker laugh, so he brought you in from waiting outside, and from one joke, he was cackling. and so whenever the Earl wanted his Information, he would bring you along becuse it seemed like he only liked your jokes, and honestly how could you complain, some one actually laughing that's a first, so ill take the win. but undertaker was equally pleased by this, he couldn't describe the attraction he felt, his heart was long cold and dead, but the little dark light the Earl brought to his shop was enough to get him to question again, but you wear merely mortal and he shouldn't get attached not after last time.

walking around the dark shop, it was more empty than usual as it was completely closed on a Sunday, which is kinda ironic thinking about it. the only bits of lights that guided my way were slowly dying candles, and further in the store there was less and less, of that comforting yellow glow fading quickly, i was calling out for him quietly, still looking around despite the strain on my eyes. i assumed he wasn't here, maybe out, i took a look around, noticing a back room. 'huh, that's new but i guess ive never stayed to long' hollering for the strange man once, more as i stumbled through the dark. my foot caught on something wooden on the floor, and i fell right into one of the many coffins, putting my hands and knees out to stop the fall. i felt something plush under me. I did indeed fall into a wooden create. my eyes finally adjusted to the room, and the panic set it. 'oh my fucking god, im on top of undertaker' my limbs barely didn't touched his body, my knees either side of his waist, and my hands at the side of his head, in his long hair. 'oh fuck fuck shit, this is bad' he was asleep some fucking how, his chest slowly rose and descended in an easy rhythm, a tiny snore escaping every few breathes he looked peaceful, and not like a menace like he usually did. 'This would be cute. If i wasn't right over him.' my eyes traced the scars once more. 'god, that neck one is so biteable.' i took in a deep breath, and slowly picked up my left foot, raising it higher than needed so i don't make contact with the wood, i slowly lowered my foot searching for the ground, making a soft thud as i found the floor. next would be my right hand, and this slowly turned into the worlds quietest twister, i started to turn my body backwards so i could lay on the floor to escape. getting my hand up in the air, and I balanced on one knee and hand to get out. I started to bend out, but my hip lightly grazed the side, and then in in a flash, an arm wrapped around the top of my hip and right wrist. It was so sudden i let out a surprised squeak.

"Hello dearie"

One half closed fluorescent green eye shining in the dark room, and I quickly panic to explain myself.

"I am so sorry! this isn't what it looks like, I swear"

"Hehe, I'm quite aware, I knew you were falling, but not that fast. hehe"

"What? oh, that was a bad pun... but if you knew why, didn't you move? Or at least tell me you were awake"

he kept giggling softly, shaking my body as well as his.

"Oh believe me, my dear, it was near impossible to keep up the act, when you look like that, my i might just injure myself laughing"

I took a second to remember how I looked, right hand up in the air, and right foot out of the wooden box, barely keeping me stable was one knee next to undertakers waist, and my left hand in his hair. if it wasn't for his arm around me, I would of fallen over. but the grip he had on my left wrist was unusual I could feel his nails lightly scratch my skin 'wowzah that's a thought' he giggled a little.

"Hehe, my what a face your pulling there"

"Well, could you help me get uh unstuck from this?"

(insert a totally seamless paragraph smoothly going into the smut)

Here I was half naked with my legs on undertakers shoulders he's kneeling down leaning over face near my pussy breathy giggles sending small shocks through me as the breath made me twitch in anticipation the situation becoming indescribable.

"My my look at you dear hehe I could just eat you up. I knew you'd fit in my coffin"

His tongue came out at the end of that sentence and licked my clit, my body thrusted towards him without my brain catching up to actions. his hands opened my thighs, nails digging into my skin, making light cuts at the grip, specks of blood appearing, the sting feeling like fire, my legs edging to close around his head

" Hehe. Come on, don't be shy. I won't bite unless you want me to . Hmm, how about we test it"

With that, he leaned over and harshly bit my inner thigh. His teeth were kinda sharp at the K9s, adding to the pain that was building my pleasure. I let out a soft moan, my hands scratching the wooden box, gripping the plushness underneath me that confirmed his suspicion instantly.

"My, my, you liked that more than I thought interesting"

Pulling my legs further up to get closer, his mouth wonders, his tongue working over the blood lightly licking and his teeth gripping into my flesh, he detaches from making a large hickey laughing.

"Well, would you look at that come on pretty things shouldn't cry hehe those tears preserve your beauty, my dear, oh how those marks suit you"

soon he was back at it again his tongue swirling in me and my moans echo from his coffin he kept on giggling the sensation adding so much pleasure the feeling of his nails reaching across my skin before finding my clit the slow movement making me go wild he was being a complete tease about this. he starts slow speeding up and then leaving, going back to licking my hole that was leaking with arousal, gathering the taste on his lips.

"You taste like the finest sweet my doll. mhh, smell devine as well"

"Please stop teasing me~"

"hehehe, as you wish, my dear"

his teeth touched my clit, and i bucked into his face at the masochistic contact, i felt him smirk at the movment, and he bagan to properly eat my pussy out his nose bumping into the delicious sweet spot, as his tounge delved deeper, his skillful hands moved to my clit, he slowly made circles around it, increasing the speed every so often, still teasing but making me body hover on the edge. I was so close he could feel it. My legs closed around his head, ankles locking as I started to shake rapidly approaching my orgasm but as quickly as it came, he stopped. I whined, and undertaker chuckled, voice lower now.

"Ah doll, if I let you continue, you'd be embarrassed to righ to heaven your phantom friends are here"

My heavy breathing evened out, and I slowly released him from my strong hold. he gently placed my legs down, undertaker stood out of the coffin and passed my clothes that I had on. Before grabbing a biscuit, putting it in my mouth, then grabbing the lid of the coffin, placing it over me. 'wait, what the fuck?' I sighed crunching on the biscuit, taking it as an opportunity to get dressed and fix my hair. I was still shaking from me being so close to cumming, then i closed my eyes. it was quite in the coffin, dark of course, but cool, a really good thing to sleep, in be it a nap or eternity. but coming back to reality, I knocked on the coffin lid, and the undertaker was quick to use his boots to kick it open carefully. The candles that suddenly appeared blinded me for a second. I slowly sat up, shaking a little. All I could hear was the deadpan of ceils voice ringing in the shop. They must have guessed I was here.

"Undertaker, what is the meaning of this? Why do you have one of my allies in one of your coffins?"

"Ahaha Oh, don't worry, little lord, I can assure you they are far from dead if you were thinking so"

".... are you okay your shaking?"

It was my sister who asked me, I was going to respond before undertaker chuckled, putting another dog bone biscuit in my mouth with a pat to the head, offering a hand to help me out which i took, my legs wobbling a little from the loss of blood in them. At this time, I realised Sebastian was giving undertaker a look as well.

"Well, that was quite the luagh hope to see you again soon maybe I'll fit you in your own coffin"

He wiped away a fake tear and bid goodbye from his shop. The other three people looked at me, and I just shook my head with a "I'm not getting into that" look, we all walked out of the shop and carried on with our day but I missed the contact of the strange man.

Okay so I finally finished this jesus christ it took like 3 days to do this but I'll have more on the way for black butler so I'm working on that ASAP anyway sorry if my writing sucks :)

[drunktuesdays]

top 5 gummy candies

GREAT question, absolutely THRILLED to answer this.

5. Nerd gummy clusters. This is more of an experience than a treat. It's a gummy candy with nerds stuck to it all over the outside. the effect makes it look like an atom or something. you also just can't pop one in your mouth because it's too big and too much. so you have to find a good way to bite it in half while you process the various textures. absolutely perfect, an amazing experience. These are best impulse purchased from a store that it's deeply weird that they sell candy, such as Michaels or Home Depot.

4. Gushers. Babe, when was the last time you had a gusher? Long time ago, right? GO BACK to 6th grade some time. You really cannot let yourself go HAM on gushers because the liquid center does start to get repulsive after a bit, but i like to keep a box in the back of my pantry and every once in awhile I say to myself, "it's been a hard day...i deserve a gusher..." and then i HAPPILY rip open a foil package where the little gummies have all stuck together in a weird orgy and i force my body to dissolve a substance my organs were never meant to encounter.

3. Sour gummy worms from a grocery store bulk candy aisle. Wegmans used to straight up have the best ones of these. My bestie @drlense turned me onto them, and I'd pop over there and load up a full bag of them. I have NOT tried doing this since the pandemic, but if bulk candy bins are back I HIGHLY recommend the gummy worms. I think it's because they don't get flattened by being in the slim packaging. these worms are PLUMP they are JUICY they are LUSCIOUS. that's what dreams are made of. I will also just say that MOST of the candy you can get from the bulk candy bin is really top tier. if you need to give yourself a little treat, i really recommend it.

2. Sour patch kids. These should be number one because they're a year round treat. They're dependable. you can get them anywhere and you're always going to have a good time, but alas, I am bitch who—well i'll explain when we get to number one. Anyway, Sour Patch Kids knows what their job is and they get it DONE. Those sugar crystals are absolutely perfect and SOMETIMES if there's an excess in the bag after I've consumed The Kids, I just eat those too. Here's a tip from me to you—the og flavor is always a good choice, but the watermelon vibe is also really great. Absolutely great improvement on an already great product. The tropical sour patch kids can be consigned to HELL. Who the fuck greenlit this abomination of a project? Who tasted those gross little shits and were like "great, put 'em in trucks?" they're disgusting they're a blight on the reputation of ALL the kids everywhere. 0/10, do not recommend.

1.. HARIBO SOUR VAMPIRE BATS. @forsakethesea turned the group chat onto these like 3 or 4 years ago now, and it's become a highlight of the entire season. i only EVER see them at target. they cost $1 a bag, and I FREQUENTLY buy 25-50 at a time and hoard them like a little freak in the pantry. I'm obsessed with them and they're the most important event in my year. The key is that the SOUR is in the GUMMY. unlike Sour Patch Kids, they don't bother with a sour sugar coating. They've INNOVATIVE. they don't NEED the security blanket of the sugar. they go RIGHT for infusing the gelatin with a sour flavor so intense that at the BEGINNING of the season when I haven't toughened my mouth up yet, I can get ulcers on the inside of my cheek. YES i persist anyway. YES i consider this risk WORTH IT!!!!!! the groupchat sends messages all throughout october with "bat make mouth hurt :(" and yet we never learn. we never slow down. we never exercise restraint. love makes us human. pain also makes us human. love and pain are stored in the bat. happy bat season.

[diamonata]

The Room of Requirement had been acting up ever since the fiendfyre damage was repaired. No matter how hard Harry concentrated on his requests, the Room always managed to slip in some mischievous twist to its intended purpose.

So it was with some trepidation that Harry entered the Room on the last night of term. Hermione had insisted they throw a Christmas party, something about "inter-house unity" and a "return to normalcy". Harry thought that was a load of bollocks—as if they could pretend things were even remotely normal just seven months after the worst day of their lives—but it was as good an excuse as any to test out the undetectable extension charm on his new flask.

As he stepped into the darkened room, the tinkle of Christmas music and chatter of a couple dozen students washed over him. He wandered the room aimlessly, scanning the crowd for Ron and Hermione. As he tipped his head back for a mid-stride swig of his flask, he nearly collided with someone who had stopped directly in front of him.

It was Theodore Nott, his Slytherin potions partner and general pain in his arse. The swot was always chatting to him about potions ingredients and alchemical theory. Nott never wanted to talk about something interesting like quidditch, even though Harry knew he attended every match. Nott didn't seem to pay much attention to the game, his nose buried in a book or watching Harry and the other seeker scout for the snitch. He obviously didn't care about the score.

Harry wiped the back of his hand across his mouth and gave Nott a perfunctory nod. He was just standing there, his pale blue eyes riveted to a point over Harry's shoulder.

"Oh, shit", Nott breathed.

Harry spun around, whipping his wand out reflexively. "What is it?", he asked, as he scanned the crowd and nearby alcoves. He didn't see anything amiss. He was about to turn back toward Nott to demand what he was on about when a cluster of foliage with small glowing berries caught his eye.

He felt inexplicably transfixed by the small bunch of mistletoe. It could have been mistaken for normal mistletoe were it not for the luminescent berries and golden aura of magic that seemed to pulse around it. Harry was also suddenly, intensely aware of Nott's presence behind him. He was close enough that he could almost imagine he felt Nott's body heat emanating through his tailored oxford.

"What—" Harry began, unable to tear his gaze from the magical plant.

Nott made a strangled sort of noise, and Harry felt the hair on the back of his neck prickle as Nott's exhalation ghosted over his skin. "That's—" Nott's voice was barely a whisper— "that's meschever mistletoe. It's—" Nott let out a low groan that Harry swore he could feel in his chest, lower. "It's the active ingredient in—fuck."

Harry tried to look back at Nott to respond, but instead felt his feet move of their own accord, edging him closer to the mesmerizing plant. He felt, more than heard, Nott's footsteps as he followed close behind. His stomach swooped with awareness of the Nott's proximity. He felt lightheaded.

Harry managed to unscramble his thoughts for long enough to remember that Nott had mentioned this very plant a couple of weeks ago during potions class. And the single, key detail that he remembered hit him like a freight train.

"You mean," Harry choked out, "the one that draws you in... but only with the person you—"

He was underneath the hanging bunch now, and he slowly turned, his eyes running over Nott's chest as he raised his eyes to meet his gaze.

"Yeah," Nott murmured. Harry felt as if he were falling, like gravity had reoriented toward Nott's crystal blue gaze.

Harry's breath hitched as he felt cool, long fingers slide up his jaw. "That means we're—"

Nott's hand tightened on his face. "Kiss me, Potter."

------

Drawn and written for the HP Season of Giving Fic/Art fest

[stereax]

just came across the Granlund/Nico fight on my Twitter feed and was just wondering what your thoughts are in terms of what the triggers are for the Devils men to get them to take their gloves off and go at it?

Nico doesn’t fight always but when he does he goes for it. I think Bratters is the same way and feel like Jesper only really fights in defense of his teammates.

So what do you think their like internal lines are in terms of when to back off and when to go off?

In general, the Devils aren't a fighty team. Bratter doesn't have a single fight listed on HockeyFights; Nico only has the Granlund one. This team isn't a "dirty" kind of team that makes its mark via hits and fights, but a skilled team of younger, generally a little undersize players who're more interested in scoring goals than getting punched.

That being said, there is a difference between FIGHTS and SCRAPS. You'll see scraps fairly frequently, but scraps are just like, two guys flailing their gloves at each other in a cluster of guys - which it feels like you're describing more than fights proper. Fights are gloves off slugfests. Very different.

Of the players currently on the team who fight (at least, last season), you have Brendan Smith, Kevin Bahl, Erik Haula, Curtis Lazar, Mikey McLeod, and Nate Bastian. So your expected bottom-sixers, bottom pairing, the like. And they're not going to go at it for no reason. Generally, in the NHL, you fight because of something. Like Arber Xhekaj dropping Zack Kassian's ass was partially because Kassian fucked with (read: hit) Sam Montembeault, the Habs' goaltender, in the last game the Oilers played against the Habs last year (Kassian changed teams during that offseason from Edmonton to Arizona). A lot of the time, you're going to drop the gloves after someone hits (or god forbid injures) your teammate. Every now and then you'll see players just decide to fight each other as well, ask each other if they're down for it and then drop the gloves and sock 'em. There's a very intricate system and thought process that goes behind fighting in the NHL. Don't want to mess up a scoring chance, don't want to put your team a man down by taking an extra penalty, don't want to fight a player you know is injured, etcetera etcetera. Again, fighting is generally done by bottom-sixers and lower-pairing defensemen, and this is for a reason - your star players should be focused on getting pucks in deep. Your lower lines won't be scoring much, so that's where you load up on players that punch.