#not my favorite but up there maybe. I certainly regard it higher than a place to hide for exactly the reasons listed in the post

[llycaons]

something else I really love about feast and famine is how wwx isn't all 'wow lan zhan you're the best I can't believe you've been putting up with me I'm SO grateful you're literally perfect even though I'm so needy thank you so so so much' bc that sentiment arises in a lot of fics that handle his trauma or mental health and it's SO tiresome not to mention ooc. like it's not there for no reason bc wwx did express gratitude in canon and lwj IS a really good and supportive partner, but it's really refreshing to see wwx in a stable and reliable enough relationship where, except that one time he was triggered and panicking, he literally never once doubted that lwj would support and stand with him, nor did he ever feel the need to even thank lwj for being a good partner, even through the extremely heavy and difficult work of supporting him through what happened

and they DO communicate a lot, it's more that the gratitude is left unsaid because it's mutually understood to be unnecessary. and as much I'm in favor of them communicating their gratitude to each other, I feel like this dynamic for them is so much healthier and more mature and illustrates how strong their relationship is and how much they trust each other. also the idea of lwj as this...saintlike martyr who nobly supports and reassures a self-hating wwx is really tiring. he has his own struggles to be sure, but he has them away from wwx and the writing doesn't frame him as some tragic, self-sacrificing hero for it. like I love lwj but that's what it should be about, right? this was always going to be wwx's story first and foremost and I really appreciate works that let it be that

[piratekane]

She’s bone-tired, aches in places she didn’t know could ache and muscles stretched out in a way they haven’t been for a long time. Since her physical therapy, at least. The rock climbing a few weeks ago certainly hadn’t helped, but there was no way she was going to stay with her feet rooted to the floor. Not when she could climb up 15 feet and hang there like Spider-man. Better than Spider-man.

Suck it, Tom Holland.

She paid for it later, though, and spent the next day letting her body remember how to stretch, going through yoga poses and washing her breakfast down with ibuprofen. 

It was worth it, still, to see the look on Bea’s friend’s faces. Mary was impressed, clapping her on the shoulder when she got to the bottom and telling Camila - who made it up the wall the fastest - that she had competition. Even Lilith regarded her with a level of approval that Ava ate up. She’s going to make Lilith like her. Or at least smile politely, even if it is with all her teeth.

But it was Bea’s face that made it even better. 

She hasn’t known Bea long - she’s known others longer, including that one cafeteria lady who always saves her a side of mac and cheese because Ava said one time that it was her favorite - but she already knows that a big part of her wants to impress Bea. She can’t quite put it into words. There’s something about Bea that makes Ava want to show off. Maybe it’s because one thing she’s learned about Beatrice is that her smiles are fleeting. Ava wants to collect every one of them.

She’ll have a lot of opportunities, now that Bea is her friend and her roommate.

“Where do you want this one?” Beatrice asks from the doorway. She’s holding a paper box with tons of smiley faces drawn on it in a thick-tipped permanent marker. There’s a method to her packing madness, but Ava is big enough to admit that she has no idea what’s in this particular box.

“Here is fine.” She shifts in the computer chair Bea got her, a slight pinch in her back.

Bea looks down at the last few inches of floor where Ava points and frowns. “How will you get out?”

Ava lifts her legs, wiggling her socked toes. “I’ll jump. Have you jumped on this bed? Is it a solid bed for jumping?”

“Jumped on the…” Beatrice blinks at her. “No, Ava. I haven’t jumped on the bed.”

Ava shrugs. “You’re missing out. My dorm room was not good jumping material. When’s the last time you jumped on a bed?”

“Nev-never.”

Her mouth drops open. “Never?” She immediately frowns. Beatrice wasn’t kidding when she told her that her life hadn’t been normal kid stuff and her parents were hardly around. They had that in common: a girl who lived in an orphanage and a girl who grew up alone. It makes her a little sad for Bea. “We have to fix this.”

“I am not jumping on the bed,” Bea says firmly.

Ava shrugs. Today is not the day, and tomorrow won’t be either, but soon. She stands and stretches her arms above her head, immediately dropping them so that her shirt doesn’t ride up any higher. Bea seems like the kind of girl who appreciates a little modesty. Ava can do that. Or, she can try really hard to do that.

“I am officially all moved in.” She grins, surveying her kingdom. There’s a desk in one corner, left behind by Bea’s roommate who went to study abroad and didn’t come back. A nightstand by the bed has her lamp and her hat on it. She’ll have to hang her clothes, fill the dresser, find a few posters to put up on the walls. But it’s hers. “So, roomie, what’s next?”

Bea looks around, clasping her hands behind her. “I believe those are all your things.”

“Except for the kitchen stuff.”

“Yes.” There’s a faint smile on Bea’s face and Ava feels a thrill, knowing she put it there. “How could I forget your… hot dog maker.”

“Not sure. It’s fire engine red.” But she looks around too. “I think we’re done. Now we can get ready for movie night!”

A proper end to moving day. Movie night with an Ava-curated predetermined list, tons of drinks and movie theater popcorn and Bea’s friends. She had hesitantly suggested it to Bea a few days ago. She’d never done a movie night and her College Experiences bucket list clearly had it marked as item #8. But Bea had said yes almost immediately, and Ava went to work, making a list of options in between packing and classes and meals with Bea and her friends.

They’re going to be my friends, she decides. That’s on her bucket list too.

Now she just needed them to get here. The minutes have been dragging on as she’s waited as patiently as possible. But time didn’t seem to be cooperating. It’s doing its best to drag its heels. Ava wants to grab it by the neck and shake it.

Bea seems to notice that. “They’ll be here soon.” She says it very patiently, like she already knows Ava does terrible with waiting. And Ava likes that. She likes that Bea is paying attention to her enough to notice these things.

Bea’s going to be a great roommate. Ava wants to be just as good. She looks around her room, satisfied. She can unpack later - there’s enough space to get from the bed to the door and Bea insisted she make the bed first, almost like she knew that Ava was going to stack everything in insurmountable piles and try her best to get around them.

See? she thinks. She knows me already.

She’s about to say that, to tell Bea that she’s already killing this ‘best roommate’ contest that Bea doesn’t know they’re having, when someone knocks on the door. Once, twice, three times.

Ava does jump on the bed this time, beating Beatrice to the door and pulling it open to find Camila on the other side. 

Ava beams. “Movie night!”

~

“Is the whole movie about… biking?” Lilith makes it seem like a swear word.

Ava grins, shoves a handful of popcorn into her mouth, and says, “id bub nimnasts.” Everyone turns to her. She swallows and smiles more sheepishly this time. “It’s about gymnastics.”

Lilith heaves a long-suffering sound. “Gymnastics.” It’s really a testament to her disdain for everyday things, that everything that comes out of her mouth sounds like she’s spitting it from between her teeth. But then the running biker rips off her helmet and it’s Missy Peregrym and even Lilith seems interested.

Ava gets it. She does. This is peak Missy Peregrym. And it only gets better. She stops watching the movie when Missy Peregrym’s character, Haley, finds her way back to the gym and on Vanessa Lengies’ character, Joanne’s, last nerve and starts watching the room instead. Onscreen, Haley pretends to be on the phone while Joanne stomps her foot angrily, and Mary snorts, lips curled up in a smile, and that’s when Ava knows this is a good choice.

She wants to impress them so badly. It consumes her. Partly because she thinks they’re really cool, even Lilith. And partly because she thinks Bea is amazing and these people agree. Sister Frances always told her to stop wasting her time and do everyone the favor of aligning herself with the right people. Ava is pretty sure she was saying it to get rid of her, to go out and be someone else’s problem, but Ava thinks she found the right people all the same.

“Isn’t that the guy from Twilight?” Camila asks, abandoning her popcorn. Ava meets Bea’s eyes and smiles. Bea shakes her head fondly at Camila and Ava wonders when she’ll get the same look. Someday, she thinks. She looks back at Camila, leaning forward in her seat on the bean bag chair she wrestled through their front door earlier. “He’s the cute one, I think. The other one kind of freaked me out. I don’t think he ever blinked.”

Their front door. Ava’s heart beats a little harder.

Ava could go into detail about Twilight - it was basically contraband at the orphanage. But they’re in the middle of a movie. And she thinks Lilith might actually throw a soda at her. She doesn’t think Bea would appreciate the mess. So that’s a Camila-and-Ava conversation for later.

“Yikes. Ice baths.” Shannon shudders. “I used to do those in high school, during the season. Need a wake up call? Submerge yourself in a metal tub of ice cubes.” She points her entire soda towards the screen. “Though, I never looked like that doing it.”

Mary snakes her arm across the back of Shannon’s shoulder. “No, you didn’t.”

Ava slaps her hand over her mouth to keep in her laugh but Shannon rolls her eyes and elbows Mary gently. “You’re right. I looked better.”

“Damn right you did.” Mary meets Ava’s eye and smirks. It feels like a secret between them. That swelling feeling in her chest reaches a crescendo.

She shoves another handful of popcorn into her mouth and spares a glance at Bea, finding that Bea is already looking back at her. She inhales, nearly choking on a kernel. Bea sits forward, worry on her face, but Ava holds up a hand, stopping her. She swallows a few times, washes down what she can with her soda, and takes a deep breath.

“Do you like it?” Ava whispers, aware that she can be too loud sometimes. 

Bea has to lean closer to hear her. “It’s entertaining.”

Ava’s eyes narrow. She doesn’t know what that word means to Bea yet. Sometimes entertaining means not good, and sometimes it means the best thing I’ve watched in my whole life. She’s still learning to read her.

“Good,” Bea fills in. Ava exhales in relief. “Gymnastics takes a considerable amount of skill.”

“You could do it,” Ava says confidently. She nods when Bea goes to argue with her. “I saw you rock climbing. And all the martial arts you talk about? I bet you could beat Nastia Liukin.”

Bea’s cheeks might redden but Ava can’t tell in the dim light. “Actual Olympic gold medalist Nastia Liukin? I doubt that.”

Ava shrugs. “Guess we’ll have to call her and find out. But my money's on you.”

Lilith shushes them, glaring. Ava puts one hand up in surrender and grins at Bea when Lilith turns back to the movie. She pushes the popcorn back to Bea and waits expectantly. Bea is much more graceful than Ava, picking out a few pieces delicately. Ava doesn’t offer the same grace; she shoves her hand in and grabs as much as she can. 

“Wait, her mom cheated on her dad with her coach?” Lilith doesn’t pull her eyes away from the screen, but scoffs. “Pathetic.”

Camila claps when it ends, grinning. Ava matches her smile, looking around excitedly. 

She pats herself on the shoulder mentally, though her hand itches to do it physically. She made a good choice, a strong start. She stands up, twists her back side to side so she can stretch it out, and grins. “Who wants more popcorn?”

~

She waits until a quiet moment, after everyone has been settled into movie and Bea has finished what Ava is sure to be the first of many comments on the historical validity of The Mummy before she says:

“This movie was my bisexual awakening.”

There’s a cough and sputter from her left where Beatrice is sitting. She thinks about reaching out and giving her a friendly whack on the back, to clear out whatever has gotten stuck in her windpipe, but Mary laughs so loudly, Ava just ends up grinning instead.

Lilith eyes her critically. “Brendan Fraser isn’t the worst you could do, I suppose.”

It’s a glowing compliment coming from Lilith. Ava files it away for the next time she inevitably says something that isn’t.

Camila leans her head back, staring at Ava upside down. “Rachel Weisz is my ‘if I had to pick a girl’.”

“Fraser is not the guy I’d pick,” Mary says firmly. “I’m more of an Usher kind of girl.”

Shannon shrugs. “I think I’d take Mummy-Fraser over Tarzan-Fraser. The long hair is… Eh.”

The TV flickers, brightening the room as Rick O’Connell crosses the screen with a torch in his hand. Ava turns expectantly to Bea. “What about you?”

“What about-” Bea’s voice is slightly squeaky, if Ava had to put a word to it. Almost as if she doesn’t know where to break the syllables. “This movie was not my bisexual awakening,” she finally says.

“Well, of course not.” Ava reaches over and does touch Bea this time, patting her knee gently. “I assume you’d be too focused on the truth of all this history stuff to even focus on either of them.” She smiles warmly. “Am I right?”

Everyone seems to be looking at the two of them. Ava feels the room tip a little. She’s suddenly worried she said the wrong thing. She just thought, with Mary and Shannon clearly dating, that it’d be okay to say something like that. They seem to be open enough, not shying away from each other. But maybe she shouldn’t have. Or maybe it’s the movie choice. Catherine Zeta-Jones and Antonio Banderas also had something good going on.

Bea stares and Ava starts to count the seconds as they stretch.

“I’m not—” Bea begins haltingly, then stops. 

A tendril of panic curls around Ava’s chest. She just assumed. Sure, Bea never explicitly said she liked girls, but Ava isn’t usually wrong about this kind of stuff. Maybe she did get it wrong. Or maybe she just said it too loud. She has a tendency to barrel head first into things without thinking.

Bea clears her throat. “I suppose…” Her eyes dart over Ava’s shoulder to where Mary and Shannon are. Ava looks, smiling a little, still confused. “I suppose… Rachel Weisz is someone a person might find appealing.”

“Attractive,” Ava corrects, slightly relieved that she didn’t read Bea incorrectly. “And good choice.” She nods in total agreement. Bea’s taste is up there. 

She shoves her hand into the candy bowl that’s replaced the popcorn. M&Ms in this bowl, but Bea has Junior Mints. She looks up, mouth full, and finds Bea still staring back at her. An M&M falls out of her mouth and lands in her hand. She feels her face flush and she quickly tosses it back in.

Lilith’s face is twisted in disgust. There goes that good favor. But Mary and Shannon are looking at her too, and Ava gets a weird feeling in the pit of her stomach. 

“I’m sorry,” she says slowly. “I think I said something wrong.” Even though she has no clue what that might be. Her worry that she’s made Bea uncomfortable by talking about her sexuality rises again in her head. 

There’s quiet for a moment before Bea says, “No.” She reaches forward like she’s trying to get Ava to understand something but her hand hovers over Ava’s, the one with a small chocolate smudge on it, and she pulls it back into her own lap. “You don’t mind?”

“Mind…” Ava blinks, looks back again. Mary is staring at her and there’s a slight edge she hasn’t seen before. “That you like Rachel Weisz?” No one says yes or no and she’s still so confused. “I totally don’t mind, if that’s what you think. Like I said.” She points both of her thumbs back at herself and tries to smile in a way she knows is charming. “Awakening.”

Bea’s face is pinched, though. Ava has the strongest urge to press her hands to it and smooth it out. Mary clears her throat and Bea’s face does it all on its own.

“I mean, I’d still be okay with it if you liked Patricia Velasquez better,” Ava admits. “The gold costume was…” She whistles low and reaches out a hand, nudging Bea in the shoulder. Bea sways away and back in again stiffly, but she seems to be breathing out.

Ava exhales. She looks back over her shoulder and Mary is still looking at her but she’s smiling too, nodding once at her. Whatever test that was, she knows she passed it. And honestly, Bea can’t go wrong with either choice. And if she is into someone like Patricia Velasquez, Ava knows a girl in her Humanities class who can pull off that same kind of eyeliner.

She offers Bea the bowl of M&Ms silently, gesturing for the Junior Mints. Bea hands it over slowly, her eyes still searching Ava’s face. She hopes Bea finds whatever she’s looking for. Because she wants to show Bea that she’s someone to trust, that Bea made a good decision, and that moving in was something that was going to be great. 

She smiles encouragingly and Bea smiles back, ducking her head slightly. Ava turns back to the TV screen, silently passing Camila the bowl of Junior Mints in return for the Skittles. 

“Actually,” Bea says quietly, almost as if she’s only talking to Ava. “Did you know that Medjay, the Pharoh’s bodyguards in the movie, actually refers to people from the land of Medja. It was believed to be located in Nubia, near the Second Nile Cataract.”

Ava abandons the screen, turning to Bea now. “How do you know this stuff?”

Bea shrugs a shoulder. “I like knowing things.”

“We’re finding a trivia night and going out,” Ava decides. Lilith shushes her and she ignores it. “The brains between you, Shannon, and Camila, plus my good looks, Mary’s brawn, and the whole… scary thing Lilith has going on, we’ll clean up.”

Bea smiles fully this time. A pillow hits Ava in the side of the head but it doesn’t stop her from smiling back at Bea before snatching the pillow off the floor and holding onto it until Lilith wrestles it out of her hands ten minutes later.

~

They’ve moved onto pizza by the time Atlantis queues up on the TV. Six different boxes sit open on the breakfast bar, greasy plates on the floor and coffee table. Ava rests a hand on her stomach, her whole body stretched out and her socked feet dangerously close to a mushroom sliding around in a puddle of grease. She peers down. Bea’s plate is full of mushrooms, picked out from the other toppings.

Huh. No mushrooms. Maybe Bea does have a flaw.

“I dated a guy who looked like Milo once,” Camila offers. “Soft spoken, too.” She squints, looking into the middle distance. “I think his name was Ted.”

“Ted.” Mary wrinkles her nose. “There was a Ted in my Women’s Safety class freshman year. Thought it was an easy A and he’d get to feel up a few girls.” She scoffs. “He sure felt my fist in his stomach.”

Ava lifts an arm in solidarity, her whole body weighed down with hot dough and spicy tomato sauce. “I beat up someone once. When I was 6. He broke my ant farm.” She gets a sudden burst of energy as damp anger flows through her. She sits up. “I was the one who got in trouble though, the little jerk.”

Lilith pushes a piece of half-eaten veggie pizza towards Ava. Ava’s stomach protests, but the mushrooms are just that good, so she takes it and polishes off the rest of it. Lilith is warming up to her and Ava revels in it. It’s all part of her master plan to win Lilith over, one small step at a time.

With the understanding, of course, that she’s going to go backwards more than she goes forward. But she can tell how much Lilith means to Beatrice and she can play the long game. It’ll be a good exercise in patience.

“What about you, Beatrice? Beat a lot of people up? I know you can, like, kill a man with your bare hands.”

Lilith snorts. “Beatrice would never.”

Ava grins. “So you would?”

“No,” Bea says loudly over Lilith opening her mouth. “Our training is for self-defense. I have never found any reason to escalate a fight outside of tournaments and educational exercises.” She sees Ava’s eyes tracking the table and nudges the plate of mushroom slices towards her. She thinks she sees Bea’s nose wrinkled in disgust.

“Okay, but, if someone like Helga Sinclair - a total babe, by the way - came charging at you, you wouldn’t fight her?” Ava points at the screen where Helga is lifting boxes up, just to show off her muscles. Her mind gets stuck for a minute. They’re impressive arms. But then, Bea’s arms kind of look the same, now that she thinks about it. Helga has more of a Lilith-attitude, though.

Bea blinks. “She’s a cartoon character.”

“But if she was real,” Ava stresses. “Are you just too proud to tell me you’d wipe the floor with her pretty, 2-dimensional face?” She looks at Shannon. “Is she always this modest?”

Shannon snorts softly. “Yeah, Beatrice never really sells herself well.”

“We’re going to fix that,” Ava decides. Bea opens her mouth but Ava shakes her head. “It’s decided. Operation Beatrice is a Badass henceforth commences tonight, on this Saturday, in Apartment 3B. In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Order.”

Bea’s mouth opens and closes a few times. “That’s not at all how that goes.”

“What a ridiculous thing to say,” Lilith mutters.

“It was kind of sweet,” Camila says kindly. “I think Beatrice needs a personal cheerleader.”

“Seems like Ava is up for the job,” Mary says. Her eyes are on Beatrice, a small smirk on her face. “I say go for it.”

Ava beams. “That’s four votes yes.”

Shannon hums. “I didn’t vote.”

“My vote counts twice,” Ava says without even looking at her. She goes to say something else, but Atlantis comes into view and she forgets what she was going to say, staring in wonder as Milo sees the lost city for the first time.

She watched this movie a lot when she was in the orphanage. Sister Frances was fond of donations and didn’t usually splurge on new things; a handful of DVDs, including Atlantis, were the last thing that showed up that wasn’t already in pieces by the time it got to them. Osmosis Jones was the other one, but one of the older boys broke it when he thought Osmosis Jones was living inside his body. 

Atlantis always caught her attention, though. The idea that there was a secret world out there where anything was possible? It was all she dreamed about as a kid, confined to a bed and locked away under Sister Frances’ crow-like eyes. She imagined she was Milo, on the hunt for the one thing that would make her life make sense. Sure, she never found her Atlantis, but Milo did. And she could live through that.

Her eyes stray to Bea. She’s caught herself doing that all night - constantly tuned into Bea, wondering what she’s thinking or if she likes Ava’s choices or if she’s regretting agreeing to this new living situation. She thinks everyone is warming up to her and it makes her grin. Friends. Friends she can hang out with and do movie nights and trivia nights and lunch dates like the one she has scheduled with Camila on Monday between her morning and afternoon classes.

And all thanks to the person who is quickly becoming her favorite person. Bea is her Princess Kira, showing her a whole new world. She frowns. Wrong movie. But then she shrugs; the point still stands.

“Well, you eat enough for two people,” Mary says, pulling Ava’s attention back in. She sounds impressed, though. “I’ve never seen anyone put away what you have in the last few hours.”

Ava grins and pats her stomach. “There’s still room in this ol’ thing. Just you wait.”

Mary shakes her head, a smile on her face. “Okay, baby girl. Whatever you say.”

A rush of affection swells in her chest. No one has ever called her ‘baby girl’ before. Or said it with a smile like Mary’s, like it’s some secret between the two of them. She holds onto it. She wants to wear it again. She wonders what Bea will call her, what her nickname will be. 

“None of you seem to understand what a movie night is, do you?” Lilith cuts in. She has her arms crossed over her chest, eyes narrowed. “It means watching a movie, not talking through it.”

“I didn’t realize you liked this movie so much,” Mary says lightly. “If we knew it was your favorite-”

“Not my favorite,” Lilith sniffs.

“-we would have quieted down,” she finishes. “You heard her, ladies, no talking through Lilith’s favorite movie.”

Mary, unlike Ava, catches the pillow Lilith throws and chucks it right back, hitting her right in the face. Ava gasps but the sound is swallowed up by the growl of disbelief from Lilith, the weary groan from Beatrice, Shannon tutting, and Camila clapping her hands together lightly.

It takes considerable effort, and they have to rewind twice, missing the mark both times and just giving up, but now Ava can put an X across the “bloodshed” square on her “how to be friends with girls” bingo card.

Lilith pouts for the next twenty minutes, Mary gloats, and Ava eats two more pieces of pizza, chewing happily.

~

“You’ll like this one,” Ava promises Bea as she loads the DVD unseen into the player. “It’s Shakespeare.”

A soccer ball bounces across the screen and the look of confusion on Bea’s face deepens. Ava holds out a hand, anticipating a question.

“Just wait, okay? This is pop culture history.” 

Bea looks skeptical. “It really is,” Ava insists. “It takes Shakespeare and modernizes it. Think 10 Things I Hate About You. Think Romeo + Juliet. This is a cinematic marvel.”

“Sit down,” Shannon says without any bite. “We’ve liked the other ones so far.”

“Speak for yourself,” Lilith mutters. She scowls, but closes her mouth when Camila looks at her. 

Ava doesn’t let it bother her. She swears she saw Lilith crying at the end of Atlantis. But Shannon’s words give her enough courage to take her seat again and watch Bea’s face, eager to see her reaction. She doesn’t have to wait long.

“I love this movie!”

“Not this one.”

Ava looks between Shannon and Mary. They look at each other.

Shannon blinks first. “You don’t like this movie?”

“I want to strangle her boyfriend every time he’s on screen.” Mary scowls, like she’s imagining his throat under her hand. “And Channing Tatum is just…”

“He’s a baby in this movie.”

“He’s not a good actor in this movie.”

Camila raises her hand weakly. “I like him in Magic Mike.” She balks at everyone’s sudden frown. Ava shakes her head. “My freshman year roommate was, like, obsessed with him. Actually, I think her mom was. And it just sort of… trickled down.”

Ava reaches out and pats her head gently. “I’m so sorry. That sounds terrible.”

Camila shrugs. “We traded off. Horror movies for me-”

“Horibble movies for her,” Mary finishes.

Shannon shrugs. “Well, I like this movie. Though, Olivia and Viola should have ended up together.”

That, Ava can get behind. She nods furiously. “Best chemistry, definitely.” She reaches for her bowl of ice cream - she has a scoop of every flavor they got at the grocery store. She digs into it, lifting her spoon to her mouth before she pauses, speaking first. “Do you think Amanda Bynes really knows how to play soccer?”

“No,” echoes around her.

She shrugs. “Didn’t think so.”

They turn their attention back to the movie, ignoring the comments Lilith makes critiquing Sebastian’s girlfriend and Marcus the creep and the principal - who she says reminds her of her tutor. The one you made cry? Bea asks. Lilith grins with all her teeth. 

Ava soaks it in like the sun on a beach. She catalogues the way Bea laughs at the pizza shop scene, the way she repeats the ug-lay as if it’s some foreign word she’s learning for the first time. She wonders if she’ll ever hear Bea say it out loud. Maybe she’ll wear something really loud - a word she picked up from Chanel - and see what the reaction is. She watches the way Mary and Shannon whisper to each other, soft murmurs over Olivia and Viola-Sebasatian arguing about cutting open a frog. Even Lilith makes a noise that sounds like a short laugh when Duke shoves a tampon up his nose. Camila mouths the words along with the characters, body jerking a little as if she’s the one playing soccer on the screen.

If 12-year-old Ava could see her now. If 17-year-old Ava could see her now. She wouldn’t believe it. She’d think her whole world extended only as far as the four walls of that orphanage. But it doesn’t. It’s bigger and brighter and filled with the coolest people she’s ever met.

Amanda Bynes flashes the soccer team and Ava laughs and laughs until Bea is smiling and shaking her head - that look, the one Ava saw Bea give Camila, that slight hint of fondness, is aimed directly at her.

The Illyria soccer team wins against Cornwall and Ava feels like she’s won something too.

~

She barely hears the door click shut as Lilith closes it behind her, the last one to leave. 

Ava had watched Camila wrestle her bean bag back out into the hallway, smiling too brightly for someone still up at two-thirty in the morning before she slumped back down on the couch, her energy spent. Mary patted the top of her head with a heavy hand, smoothing it out with a smile, and Shannon had squeezed her shoulder gently in a goodbye before they followed Camila. Lilith had stayed, helping to pick up a few things and talking quietly with Bea. Quiet enough that Ava couldn’t hear it - and too tired to tune into.

The popcorn and the candy and the pizza and the ice cream were catching up to her, making her a little nauseous and a lot full. She slumped down further on the couch and watched Lilith move through the apartment like she knew all its corners. She couldn’t wait until she could do the same.

Bea closes the refrigerator now and turns to Ava, smiling. “Did you have fun?”

“Best night ever.” It’s not a lie. This has kicked ‘First Night out with Chanel’ off the top of her list without a care in the world. “Did you?”

“I had a very nice time. We haven’t done that in a long time.” Bea drifts closer. She sits on the edge of the couch, hovering a little above the cushion.

“Monthly movie nights, then.” A thought crosses her mind and she pouts. “Hey, we forgot National Treasure.”

Bea laughs breathlessly. “I think four movies in one night is more than enough, Ava. There will be more nights for movies.  We can watch it another time.” 

Ava nods decisively. “Monthly movie nights. We have all the time in the world.” 

“We do,” Bea says, and it feels a little bit like they’ll have this forever.

Ava reaches behind her, groping at the back of the couch until she finds the corner of the blanket she’s searching for. She pulls it down over her head.

She thinks she hears Bea laugh, soft and melodic. But she could be imagining it, a holdover from her being hyper-aware of each time she did during movie night. She curls into it and smiles into the arm of the couch. She doesn’t know how she started sliding down, but it’s comfortable here.

“Ava,” Beatrice says gently. “You have a bed.”

Ava pulls the blanket off her head and throws it onto her legs. She squirms, trying to get it to settle over her body. “But this is so comfortable. Where did you find this couch?”

“Shannon picked it out. I’ll ask her the next time I talk to her.”

“I’ve always wanted a couch like this,” she admits. “Big, comfy. Just for us.” Her eyes flutter closed and the room goes hazy before her vision goes dark. “I’m going to sleep here.” She wiggles again. The blanket tangles around her waist. 

Bea is quiet for a moment. “Come on. I have something for you.”

Her eyes open quickly, rolling off the couch and onto her feet. “What is it?”

Bea looks nervous but crosses the room to her bedroom, slipping in through the closed door. Ava hears some things moving and then Bea is in the living room again, hands clasped behind her back. She’s holding something.

“It’s- Now that I have it, I’m not sure it-” Bea takes a deep breath and smiles tightly. “I got you something. A sort of housewarming present.”

Ava grins. “I love presents. What is it?”

There’s still an undercurrent of nervousness in the way Bea uncharacteristically shifts. “Hold out your hands. And close your eyes.”

Ava immediately slams her eyes closed and thrusts her hands out. The air feels still but not uncomfortable. Silences with Bea don’t feel weird, which is crazy. So she doesn’t mind the wait as Bea obviously works up the courage to put something in her hands. After a long moment, she feels something soft and nearly weightless drop into her cupped palms.

Bea clears her throat. “You can open your eyes.”

Ava does. She blinks. A long, thin, soft stuffed animal with a white belly and tiger stripes stares back at her. She’s confused for a moment before the pieces slot into her place in her mind. “Is this… Is this Hobbes? From Calvin and Hobbes?

Bea’s cheeks are just the slightest hint of pink. She clears her throat again. “I’m sorry if this is overstepping.”

“It’s really not,” Ava rushes out. Her heart is too big in her chest. Her eyes start to burn a little, hot beads forming in the corners. “How did you-”

“The internet is more than just Wikipedia and Reddit.” Bea’s hands are tucked back behind her again. “But after our conversation…”

Their conversation. 

The one where Ava told Bea everything: her accident and the grueling years of work, the orphanage, years spent in the libraries reading everything she could get her hands on. She told her about the Peanuts comics she liked and how one of the older kids had called her Linus because she carried around a blue blanket for a few years. She told Bea about the hours she would spend reading the Calvin and Hobbes comic collections and pretending she could join them on their adventures: riding in a wagon, bubble bath statues, exploring the forest, sledding, waiting for the school bus.

She told Bea she always wanted a Hobbes stuffed animal to take with her on her own adventures, just as soon as she could go and have them. She’d never admitted that to anyone else, not even Diego, the little boy she shared a room with. But something about Bea made it easy to talk about these kinds of things, Maybe it was the way she listened. She didn’t judge, she didn’t laugh.

Ava knows that’s going to be a problem. She’s going to end up telling Bea everything all the time.

And when Bea is ready to talk more about herself, about what her parents were like and how they were never around, Ava is going to be ready to listen.

“You didn’t have to do that,” she says quietly.

Bea’s voice is just as quiet. “I wanted to. You deserve to go on adventures.”

She breathes in slowly. “Today was an adventure. The best kind. And I know there’s going to be a million more.” She hugs Hobbes to her chest. “Because now I have someone. Two someones.” She smiles softly at Bea. “Hobbes. And you.”

Bea’s cheeks pinken just a hint more. She opens her mouth like she’s going to say something, but closes it again. Ava doesn’t want to say anything either, afraid to break this precarious moment. So she just looks at Hobbes, her Hobbes, and feels her chest swell with affection for this new friend she’s found.

‘Thank you,” she whispers. Bea doesn’t whisper back, but Ava doesn't think she needs to. She places Hobbes carefully on the couch. She strokes down his soft belly, fingers lingering before she turns to Bea. “I’m going to hug you. Brace yourself.”

She sees Bea physically prepare for it, watches the muscles under her thin cotton shirt tense. And she laughs, inwardly, that Bea seems to ready herself, as if Ava is going to knock her down. But she doesn’t blame her. Ava crashes into her, arms tight around her middle, trapping Bea’s arms against her sides. She feels Bea struggle for a moment before she frees her arms. Hands hover above her back before Bea pats her gently. Ava grins into the soft skin of Bea's arm.

“I think we’re going to be best friends,” she says quietly in the space between them.

She doesn’t break away from the hug until her arms start to ache. Then she steps back, giving Bea a hesitant smile before she ducks around her, headed to her new bedroom with Hobbies in her hands. With a soft goodnight, she lets Bea have a moment to herself. She seems like the type of person who needs to recover from a hug, but Ava will take care of that.

She’s a very good hugger. And they have time.

[ltwharfy]

"Bob's Burgers" Season 8 Episode Ranking Rewatch (Long Post)

So, I've been rewatching "Bob's Burgers" from the beginning and ranking the episodes using the spreadsheet that @babsvibes created! If you want to know why I'm doing this or how I view the 1-5 rating scale, you can check out my Season 1 post! If you want to check out any of the other seasons, I've been using the "bob's burgers episode ranking rewatch" tag for all of them.

Now, on to Season 8 (over halfway done with the rewatch!):

Average (Mean) Score: 4.45

Mode (Most Common) Ranking: 4

Ranking Breakdown: 9 5s 11 4s

Season as a whole thoughts:

This is the first season to have 4 as the mode ranking. And it's kind of interesting, because it actually has a higher mean score than two seasons (2 and 3) that had 5 as the mode. And it's so close to Seasons 3 and 6- literally separated by .02 from each of them in mean score! It kind of goes to my main thought about "Bob's Burgers"- it was really consistently good for a long time.

And I emphasize this because, after going on about how much I loved Season 7 in that post, I don't want anyone to think I'm saying the show went off a cliff after that! This is actually only one of two seasons (4 being the other) that I've rated so far that I didn't give anything lower than a 4. Which means I really enjoy all the episodes- but maybe there are fewer that I would call favorites or say that I love.

There were two episodes that I gave 3s when I caught them on TV a few months ago but decided to rewatch before completing this season's sheet and ended up moving them up to 4s. I'll discuss those in the individual episode comments. (And if I'm torn on which rating to give, I always err on the side of giving the higher rating. Given that these are all episodes I've seen multiple times before, that familiarity might dull the impact of some of the jokes or plot twists.)

Some thoughts on specific episodes (and feel free to ask if you want my thoughts on an episode I didn't comment on):

"The Silence of the Louise": As I've mentioned before with regards to Rudy and Louise and to Gene and Courtney, I enjoy when characters and their relationships evolve over time. So, I love this episode for moving Millie and Louise's relationship to a different place. I didn't particularly enjoy Millie in "Fort Night", but she is really a fun character and Molly Shannon does a great job with her voice- I'm glad that they came up with ways for Millie and Louise's relationship to evolve, and that she didn't just remain a one-note nut. And, honestly, their relationship- that one-sided obsession (with undertones of a crush) that the other finds offputting is a very real childhood relationship dynamic that I haven't seen portrayed in media that often, and I like that the show addresses it.

"Sit Me Baby One More Time": Mr. Boom Boom. Tinkle-dinks and Tinkle-dinkers. "And that's how you pee in a restaurant". If this episode doesn't crack me up, it's a sign that I'm dead. Beyond the jokes, I love Tina's realization at the end- that she was actually kind of mean to Tammy. Tammy is probably my favorite antagonist character on the show because she and Tina have a lot of similarities- they are both insecure teenagers at heart, they just handle it differently. Usually, Tina's more insecure and Tammy's overly confident to the point of obnoxiousness- but the roles are capable of switching occasionally, and that's interesting.

"Thanks-hoarding": My favorite Teddy episode. This is right up there with "The Amazing Rudy" in terms of just really speaking to me as a child of divorce (I don't think it's ever indicated that Teddy's parents divorced, but they certainly had a difficult marriage.) One day, maybe I'll write an essay comparing Teddy's story of having to be "the peacemaker" at Thanksgiving to Rudy doing his magic tricks to reduce the tension in the dinners with his parents. Just the notion of these kids feeling like they need to take on these responsibilities (that they shouldn't have to) because of their parents' damaged relationships really resonates with me and its nice to see it addressed on TV.

"V for Valentine-detta": How did the show manage to go over seven seasons without freaking Nat Kinkle?!? I was thinking about including some of my favorite Nat lines from this episode, but I'll just say all of them because its easier.

"Y Tu Ga-Ga Tambien": This episode would get a 5 solely for introducing the phrase "Abraca-books!" to my vocabulary (I mean, I never say it, but I would in the appropriate situation.) Also from the library subplot, I really do want to start using Mort's line "I like three of the four levels it works on"- with no further elaboration- as a response to all sorts of things. Oh and the ga-ga plot is great too! Gene's speech about "everybody" liking something is great, we get some good Branca moments, and we get to see another side of Rudy- I mean, the Rudester- which I absolutely love. Sometimes I think fans just see Rudy too much as the sweet innocent bean because of his asthma and his family problems- but he's just a regular (sized) nine-year old, and it's fun to watch his success at the new popular game go to his head.

"Sleeping with the Frenemy": One of the series' funniest episodes, in my opinion. When Babs' sent me an ask for some of my favorite quotes from the series and I found the task of looking at all the characters and all the episodes too daunting, I provided a list of favorite Louise quotes from this episode. And it's not even a Louise centric episode! Also, Brett the BFOT is probably my favorite Tina's one-off love interests. Honestly, the bit where Tina (as Tammy) and Brett are sending each other weird/silly/dumb texts all night? That's one of my relationship goals right there. Just having someone who can play off your silly texts is one of the most wonderful things in the world, I think.

"Cheer Up, Sleepy Gene": One of the two episodes that moved from a 3 to a 4. I think I gave it a 3 initially because sometimes Alex and Gene's relationship bothers me just because it seems like it developed less naturally than some of the other ones I like. Like, Alex is very clearly introduced as "Hey, it's Gene's new friend!" and then when he's brought back it's as Gene's best friend. And almost all the episodes he is in focus on his and Gene's relationship- he doesn't just hang out occasionally like Rudy or the Pesto Twins or Tina's friends. But ya know what, all that said, I still like him and his dynamic with Gene! And this is a pretty fun episode. And I love the snoring subplot which gives two wonderful Linda moments- her "Aw, we're dying" after Louise's theory about their snoring, and her "The Americans" reference to being "a Russian agent, like Felicity".

"Boywatch": The other 3 that got moved up to a 4. I think my initial rating was because I didn't really care about Tina's relationship with all those one-off characters in the JGs. But, despite that, upon further review it is a pretty funny episode- I mean, it has both Gus ("Tina Belcher isn't a quitter." "But maybe she should be?") and Sgt. Bosco ("Um, it says Police on the back of your shirt.") - how can it not be funny?!

"As I Walk Through the Alley of the Shadow of Ramps": I'm so glad they told a story that addressed Louise still riding a tricycle as a 4th grader- I just remember that aspect of her character really puzzling me as soon as it was introduced. I never really questioned the ears (Hats are cool. Nuff said.) but Louise riding a tricycle as a nine year old seemed really weird. So, it was cool that they turned it into a story about her facing fear and insecurity- and then having her learn to ride a bike at the end, and keeping that change going forward. A great way to show her growing up in a way that really wouldn't effect future episodes that much (unlike, say, if she stopped wearing the ears.) Also, if you read my fics you know I love callbacks and I can't believe I haven't worked a reference to "I threw you a benefit" into one of my Roudise fics! I love the way she says that line.

"Mission Impos-slug-ble": I love the introduction of Burobu so much! Honestly, the names of the slugs are just a hoot- Sluggy Stardust! Slugsaphone! Other highlights: Frond dancing to groove is in the heart! Getting to see some of the Wagstaff staff's marTuesdays! "Yeah, they'll get constipated" "No"! "Did John Lithgow play John Larroquette in a movie once or was that just a dream?"! Louise randomly holding Rudy's hand when they are hiding in the teacher's lounge! (Er, sorry for the shippiness.) Also, this episode really made me realize how completely I can disassociate home/restaurant-set B plots from school-related A plots; I am genuinely surprised every time that it turns out that the B plot of this episode is Bob's Harry Pickle eulogy.

Random thoughts (stuff that doesn't affect the ratings):

-It's really funny that we get back to back episodes ("Y Tu Ga-Ga Tambien" and "The Secret Ceramic Room of Secrets") with flashbacks to Frond's time as a student at Wagstaff. Are those the only young Frond flashbacks we get in the whole series? Why were they so interested in it at that point of time? Were they trying to sell a "Young Frond" spinoff that didn't get picked up?!? (Probably not.)

-I like three of the four levels this season works on.

See you in Season 9, whoever is reading these!

[the-insomniac-emporium]

Bound Blood (Cassandra Dimitrescu/Reader, Soulmate AU) Pt. 5.5 Bonus

Fandom: Resident Evil: Village Rating: T+ for language Warnings: None Summary: Local feral human spends some time with their new family. Four short bits featuring Daphne (Maiden OC), Bela, Lady D, Daniela, and a surprise guest. Enjoy. Previous Chapters: 1: Sharing Is (Not) Caring; 2: Bloodbath, Baby!, 3: Haunt Me Dearly, 4: Portraits For Ghosts, 5: Heart Of The Matter

5.5: Family

i.

“Wait, you’re telling me that you came here willingly?” You asked, mouth agape, eyes wide. It felt like every time you talked to Daphne she had something incredible to say. Which was, of course, why she was your favorite maiden to talk to. That, and the fact that she had adapted so quickly to your ‘charming personality’. So far she was the only servant you had been willing to be honest with. Mainly about your feelings regarding your blood bond, but also just about your relationship with Cassandra in general. Something about Daphne simply made her incredibly approachable. From what you had heard, you weren’t the only one to think as such, with her being fairly popular among the castle workers.

“More of us do than you might expect. Some consider it an honor to serve one of the four Lords, and Castle Dimitrescu is certainly… nicer than either the factory or the reservoir. Personally, I came here for a friend of mine. She, well, had less of a choice. I couldn’t bear the thought of her being here without knowing anyone, so it felt like I only had one option. Can’t say I regret my decision, if you can believe it,” Daphne explained, folding laundry all the while. At the same time, you carefully sort through the not yet washed clothing, separating them into two baskets. After all, you wouldn’t want Lady Dimitrescu to end up with a pink dress! Technically this wasn’t your job, nor did you have a job at all, but you hated having idle hands- especially when talking to someone who was working. At first Daphne had protested, but she had given in upon realizing just how stubborn you could be.

“That’s… impressive. I mean, holy shit, that's a real ride or die friendship right there. Is she, uh, is your friend still, you know, around?” You stuttered, cursing your tongue for asking such a thing. If the answer was no, you were going to feel like a real asshole. Which, admittedly, you had a tendency to be. But this wasn’t one of the times where it was intentional. Thankfully, Daphne is all smiles, and even seems amused by your spluttering.

“Yes, we’re even roommates. Well, us and five others. Possibly with a sixth one on the way, if we ever get someone to fill the empty space,” she replies, pausing to think. Then she’s back to work, refusing to waste any time. “Speaking of roommates… I know I said I’m not one for gossip, and I meant it, but a little songbird told me that Cassandra seems to be in a much better mood these days. Are the two of you, well, getting along? It would be nice to know that soulmates can overcome even the roughest of introductions.” There’s a hint of something odd in her tone, and you take a moment to wonder what she’s (unintentionally) hinting at. Had she met her soulmate, only for things to go poorly?... Before answering her, you make a mental note, deciding to see if any of the other maidens had a scar across their nose.

“It’s not like she and I are dating or anything. We’re just, you know, not hating each other. Currently,” you said, shrugging. But Daphne raises an eyebrow at you, and you find yourself instinctively feeling guilty, somehow feeling small next to the shortest person you knew. “Alright, alright, we might have… Okay we kissed. And promised each other not to die, because having your soulmate die hurts like hell. Also maybe she showed me her mom’s art collection and I made a joke about the titty sculptures because holy shit, this house has a lot of titties.” At this, Daphne bursts into laughter, grinning from ear to ear.

“Amen to that, for sure.”

ii.

“So… fan of science, I see,” you say, awkwardly, bouncing a little on your heels. Next to you is the eldest Dimitrescu daughter, who had unexpectedly joined your table in the library. There were several other places she could have sat, with both more comfortable seating and more workspace, but for some reason she had chosen here. So far she hadn’t said a word. Hell, you hadn’t spoken to her since your first meeting, where she had suggested killing you. Naturally, you weren’t quite sure what to make of her. Something told you that she felt much the same about yourself.

“Fan of oversimplification, I see,” Bela counters, after a few tense seconds. Then she sets down her book- a heavy text about Romanian avian fauna- to give you her full attention. “It would be more accurate to say that I enjoy studying biology, particularly the branch of zoology.” Well, this conversation was certainly… happening. Honestly, you couldn’t tell whether she was legitimately judging you, or merely chaffing you for her own amusement.

“You’ll have to, er, forgive me for being overly broad. Consider it a side effect of my nerves, those themselves being due to our unsavory introduction. In case you don’t recall, you put that sickle of yours into my shoulder,” you reminded, with a sarcastic smile. To your surprise, Bela chuckles at this, almost as if fondly remembering the incident. Seriously, you think, why did my soulmate have to be from this family?

“Staying silent was an option. Perhaps that would have suited you better?” Bela says, now clearly teasing, smile much more genuine than your own. Knowing she had a point, you’re quick to blush, mildly embarrassed.

“Touche. I am curious, however, why you decided to sit next to me in the first place. I certainly wouldn’t have tried starting a conversation if you hadn’t,” you explained.

“Like I said… I enjoy studying zoology,” Bela replies, with a sly grin. It takes you a few moments to understand the intended implications. Once you do, however, you’re giving her a hard stare. Then you scoot your chair a few inches away from her, in exaggerated movements. “Don’t worry, I was only joking. Though you certainly are an interesting human. Much more, hmm, cheeky? Compared to the servants, at least.”

“Somehow I get the feeling that they simply prefer being alive, as opposed to not being as snippy. Except maybe Daphne, now that I think about it. Very sweet, that one,” you muse. “Regardless, I think I’ll return to my book now, for it lacks a tongue, and is therefore less likely to taunt me.” Doing just as you had said, you open the book, holding it a bit higher than what would be comfortable, so that it becomes a ‘shield’ of sorts. Nothing was quite as satisfying as subtle body language.

Accepting your words with a shrug, Bela also resumes reading, turning to a bookmarked page. Roughly an hour of relative quiet passes. Neither of you so much as glance at each other, not even when she drops the pen she had been taking notes with. In the end, you are the one who leaves first, and finally the silence is broken. You give your goodbyes, and Bela returns them politely. Though you do not know it, she sets her book down as soon as you leave, pausing to think about you. Now that things had ‘calmed down’, it was reassuring for her to know that you weren’t always full of spite. Still, you held onto your cleverness (for the most part), leaving her with no doubt about the universe’s decision. You were her sister’s soulmate.

iii.

“It’s official: I’m lost in a creepy castle. The universe hates me. Probably should have realized that sooner, considering how it decided to introduce me to my soulmate,” you mutter, scowling deeply, as you wander unfamiliar halls. How had you even gotten lost? Sure, you had taken a wrong turn, but it hadn’t taken long for you to realize your mistake! Evidently you somehow managed to make another one while backtracking. Now you were standing in the center of the corridor, hands on your hips, desperate for some maiden to come rescue you. What you really didn’t want was Cassandra to find you, because she’d make fun of you for the rest of your life. It’s not like she had specifically joked about you getting lost before. Except that was exactly what had happened.

A few minutes pass uneventfully. There aren’t even any distant sounds of life; no footsteps, nor echoing voices, nor the squeaking of floorboards. All you can hear is your own breathing. As well as the occasional sigh, admittedly. By this point, there’s a part of you that’s starting to panic. After all, there was a chance that the castle was big enough for certain sections to be abandoned. Hopefully that’s not the case, you think, I mean, they’d cut the power to those parts, right? Here’s hoping… With that in mind, you get back to wandering, figuring that you’d have to eventually run into a familiar landmark. Or better yet, someone who actually knew the castle’s layout.

When salvation at last reveals its holy visage, it is not in the form of a lowly servant, rather the muffled voice of none other than Lady Dimitrescu herself. Neither her exact words nor who she’s speaking to is clear. At first, you can’t even tell where her voice is coming from, but you quickly approach one closed door, then another, searching for the source. Several doors later you’re certain you’ve found her. By then you can tell that she’s not alone. Not wanting to seem rude by interrupting, you take a few steps back, leaning against the wall to wait. For the most part you still cannot make out what’s being said, but a few words do reach your ears.

“-expected more from you. How am I-” the voice gets cut off, not by Alcina, rather a sudden gust of air, akin to massive wings flapping. When the speaker continues, they are both louder and angrier. “Someone is listening. Have you not taken steps to ensure our privacy?” Then the door is swinging open, revealing your soulmate’s mother. At first she’s practically shaking with rage, but her expression turns to shock when she sees you.

“What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be with Cassandra?” Lady Dimitrescu asks, clearly stressed, as she steps into the corridor. There’s movement behind her, although you cannot make out any details. Besides, you’re quick to answer her, wishing to avoid her wrath (and that of whoever she was speaking to).

“I’m so sorry, Lady Dimitrescu, I was walking from the dining hall to Cassandra’s studio, and I took a wrong turn. I’ve been wandering for half an hour now. When I heard your voice, I thought perhaps I could, well, enlist your assistance. But you were busy, so I figured I’d wait outside. If I had-...” you pause, gulping, as the other figure steps into view. It’s a face you’re all too familiar with. One that popped up countless times through the village, and again throughout the castle, the owner’s name always spoken with acclaim, with worship. Mother Miranda, in the flesh, wings spreading out behind her, somehow cutting a more impressive silhouette than even Lady Dimitrescu. Instantly you’re falling to your knees, knowing that your sharp tongue was no match for this practical goddess.

“Who is this, Dimitrescu? Why isn’t their blood staining your claws?” Miranda questions, gaze never leaving your trembling form.

“This… this is one of my daughters’ soulmates. They were brought in with the last group of sacrifices,” Lady Dimitrescu explains, uncharacteristically hesitant. ‘Twas a true testament to Miranda’s power, as well as her influence, that she could make someone so powerful seem so weak. Which was exactly why you were shaking with anxiety. But to your surprise, the goddess does not immediately order your execution for your trespass.

“And already they know their place, hmm? Kneeling before me?” Miranda says, a strange smile dancing on her lips. Whatever anger she had been feeling a minute prior had faded, though you couldn’t even begin to guess as to why. Regardless, both Alcina and yourself are quite relieved, though neither of you are quick to show it. “Either they have a good head on their shoulders, or you still take care of some of your duties. Very well, they may live. For now. But I expect next week’s report to be far more favorable. I don’t need to remind you of the price for failing me.” With that said, Mother Miranda turned to leave, a swirling mass of dark feathers flying past you.

A minute passes, maybe two, before either of you feel capable of speaking up.

“Let’s get you back where you belong, yes?” Lady Dimitrescu says, quietly, before placing her hand on your shoulder to guide you. Tension hangs clear and heavy over both of you. Even as you walk down corridor after corridor, the feeling does not ease. At least not until you’re back in familiar territory, near where you had originally made your mistake, finally able to breathe a little. It’s here that Lady Dimitrescu pauses to speak once more. “Tomorrow I will assign one of the servants to give you a tour, in the hopes that this does not happen again. Furthermore, I ask that you forget everything you heard earlier, for it is neither your business… or my daughter’s.” You’re quick to nod, and with that she bids you farewell, leaving you alone. Now, you think, was it left from here, or right?

iv.

“I’m just going for a walk. Why do you care so much? It’s not like it’s any of your business,” Daniela assures you, despite the fact that all you had done was say ‘hello’. If this was her attempt at casting aside suspicion, she had done a terrible job of it. What made her so nervous? Was it even worth investigating? Only one way to find out.

“You’re rather bundled up, planning on being out for long?” You ask, trying to sound casual, leaning against the wall as you did. In response, Daniela pretty much stomps her foot. There’s something odd in her expression, however, that implies your question hit a soft spot. Certainly wasn’t what you had expected. “Don’t mind me, just trying to make conversation with my soulmate’s sister. Speaking of her… have you seen Cassandra? Is she, perhaps, going with you?” A little misdirection never hurt anyone. Probably.

“No!” Daniela replies, fast as a gunshot, too much emphasis to be unintentional. But she realizes her mistake as soon as she’s made it, and makes a clear effort to relax herself. “She’s probably in her studio, doing whatever it is she calls art, on the other end of the house. Besides, I don’t want any company for this walk.” For a moment you merely squint at her, unsure of how to proceed. In the end, you decide that it really is none of your business, being more than satisfied by what teasing you’ve already done.

“Alright, alright. Well then, I’ll leave you be. Just… be careful, yeah? If you get hurt, and your mother finds out that I didn’t stop you from going… not sure Cassandra could save me,” you say, with a shrug. At first Daniela can’t decide whether to be upset or relieved, but she seemingly settles for the latter, giving you a brief nod before heading outside. As the door shut behind her, you couldn’t help but wonder if you had done the right thing.

[deltas-writing-corner]

Tsukumo Yuki relationship headcanons

Fandom: Jujutsu Kaisen

Pairing: Tsukumo Yuki x reader

Author note: Tsukomo Yuki is the reason I love woman and she can crush me between her thighs send tweet

Warnings: Potential manga spoilers (?) | Mentions of s*x, but nothing too blatantly explicit. I would still prefer it if minors did not interact with this post in any way.

Yuki always asks the people she meets what type of woman they like. If someone were to ask that same question back to her, she’ll most certainly utter back your name as if it were an obvious response.

What’s not to love about you? You’re cute. You make her laugh. You cook for her because heaven knows she can't if her life depended on it. Most importantly, you keep her company due to the lack of curses she’s ever sent to exorcise. Traveling the world is fun and all, but it’s even more fun with you by her side!

You’re not a sorcerer. You can’t even see curses. Yuki is a childhood friend of yours and has kept you in the loop regarding the world of jujutsu sorcery since she started integrating into it. She thinks it’s important for you to know that someone like you, a non-curse user who has no control over the curse energy you create, should know what exactly your negative emotions can lead to. It’s not to make you feel bad or pin blame on you in any way. It’s her way of protecting you beyond physical means as well as a way of showing you that she places a great deal of trust in you regarding the nature of her line of work and her true goals.

Because she rejects the methods of the higher-ups and her ideology is more along the lines of putting an end to the creation of curses permanently instead of letting them manifest and dealing with them when they start causing profound trouble, you’re often the one that has to listen to all her new, sometimes overreaching, hypotheses now and then. You may even take part in her research, but she would never put you in any sort of harm! At least, not unless you give her the okay to. Be warned, if you give your blessing to be her little lab rat she’s prone to get carried away with her methods. Speak up if she’s doing something outrageous or if she’s making you uncomfortable. Otherwise, you might end up in some precarious situations.

As mentioned previously, Yuki isn’t sent out on missions that often, if ever. She instead chooses to travel in and out of the country, for the sake of her research as well as for the pleasure of it. Since she’s one of three, later four, special grade sorcerers her salary is rather tremendous. Unfortunately, her travels outside Japan are “unauthorized” and sometimes her funds get frozen by the higher-ups. Her quick solution to the matter is to fly back, take on a mission or two to get her funds unfrozen (and into your account because you’re her partner-in-crime) or even take on a mission to earn some more funds, and then you and her are right back to traveling the world again.

During one of these money replenishing heists, she met a kid that she took a particular interest in and wanted to mentor, Aoi Todo. It’s hard for most people to spark her interest to the extent Todo did, so you happily supported her endeavors and even met with her young pupil a few times throughout the years. Her methods of training are a bit....extreme, to put it lightly. You understand that holding back her punches will only hinder Todo’s progress instead of allowing him the ability to improve and push past his limits, but you can’t help but flinch over the large scar that marks his face whenever you briefly meet up with him.

Todo is eccentric, but so is Yuki. Perhaps not idol obsessed like Todo, but seeing the way he takes great care of his appearance and flaunts his body (during a battle even), he’s a near-identical clone of Yuki. She knows that she’s good-looking, and she will always flaunt this fact to anyone with working eyes, even you! Does it work every single time? Yes. Yes, it does.

Honestly, how can it not? She’s tall. She has a great butt. She drives a motorcycle. Her tight biker pants are your Achilles heels and she knows it. Sometimes she’ll wear them around the house just to flaunt her curves and other bodily goods, even if it’s the middle of the summer, the AC is broken and the pants are made of stuffy leather material. If it gets your face all heated up, she'll wear it.

The compliments she gets from strangers are nice and all, but it’s your reactions she truly cares about. You’ve been by her side through it all. You're still sticking with her even despite the fact that she’s constantly moving around and living a somewhat free-spirited lifestyle. You genuinely support and help her when almost everyone else has rejected her methods and ideals and brush her off as some lazy, outrageous-thinking woman. Really, you stole this woman’s heart just by letting her be herself, a lazy, outrageous-thinking woman.

Yuki is indeed lazy, to the point it sometimes affects you and your shared apartment is left in a week-long accumulated mess. I’m talking clothes strewed about and spilling out the already full laundry basket, sink filled with dirty dishes, houseplant half dead due to insufficient watering, and little dusty bunnies in the corner of the room. Whenever you try to get around to getting your living space in order, she always drags you back to the bed with her either to nap some more or for a quick round of sex that leads to more napping. Eventually, you have to beat her with a pillow and threaten her with no sex for a certain period of time to get her to back off, which always works without fail.

If you really hold the “no sex until...” ultimatum over her head long enough, she’ll even pitch in and help you clean. But to be honest she kinda sucks at it so it’s sometimes better to just have her sit on the sidelines while you do all the work. She’ll jokingly suggest you clean with just an apron on (because she’s a freak like that), but you haven’t taken her up on the suggestion just yet. It’s mostly because you’ll use the “naked apron” method to further insinuate her punishment if your usual threat begins to lose its potency (because you are also a freak like that).

She’s a bad sleeping partner. Not only does she hog all the blankets and pillows, but she even stretches out her limbs over the entire bed. This usually leaves you curled up in a corner shivering your ass off until you either fall asleep via exhaustion or move to the couch. If you go to the couch, she’s 99.9% likely to wake up and join you shortly after, where she’s less of a hassle to deal with because of the limited space.

She’s a great big spoon, which is actually one of the ways you later use to solve her troublesome habits as once she latches onto you, she will not let go the rest of the evening. Unfortunately, she also snores terribly loud, but it’s nothing earbuds can’t fix.

Some might think she sleeps in something flattering, maybe even a bit scanty. That couldn’t be any further from the truth. Her pj’s are decades-old shirts and gym shorts that she never got around to getting rid of. If not that, she’ll sleep completely naked and she doesn’t care if someone walks in on her with the covers off. She’ll only ever wear lingerie or other promiscuous pieces of clothing if she has intentions of getting between your legs and rocking your world for the rest of the night.

I think it goes without saying that she looks great in lace, but as hot as she may look, she really likes seeing you dressed up in something risque as well.

If you’re female, she sometimes likes to wear matching lingerie sets with you, but her favorite material to see you in is leather, especially those harness-styled sets that squeeze your flesh all around.

If you’re male, she’s a complete sucker for a man in a clean-cut, custom-tailored suit and will take it off as soon as you put it on. Hope you don’t mind losing a button or two, because she will pop them off for sure when she rips your dress shirt off of you.

To all my gender-neutral folks, It’s never too late to whip out that naked apron I mentioned earlier! Or a leather jacket. Everyone looks great in a leather jacket!

Yuki’s diet is fucking terrible. You’re a decent cook, but despite this, all she ever seems to want is greasy take-out food that makes you wonder how the hell she’s still so fit after witnessing her down three chicken burritos in one sitting. Even when the two of you are abroad and are able to try out different types of cuisines not so readily available in Japan, she’ll still want to go out to a fast food joint that you can easily find everywhere. You’ve tried to get her to branch out of her comfort zone and eat somewhat healthier alternatives of her favorite foods, but so far you’ve gotten mixed results.

In summary: Yuki is a pretty outgoing person and sometimes can be a bit of a hassle to deal with, but she’s clearly ambitious and moves to the tune of her own beat. Her goal of finding and effectively eliminating the source of all curses is a testament to the fact that she wants to save future generations from having to carry the burden sorcerers have been carrying for thousands of years. Her goals are not only for the sake of the people who will come after her, but also for the sake of her future with you. You’re someone she genuinely cares for and wishes to spend the rest of her life with, evident by the numerous times she’s come clean to you about her fears of you dying when she isn't around to protect you or of her dying and leaving you behind to mourn during late-night pillow talks in hotels or in your shared home. A future where you and her can travel the world and truly take in and enjoy the sights and wonders instead of searching for an answer to one of the world’s greatest phenomenon is a future worth fighting for, even if she’s met with some pushback or the end goal seems like nothing more than a pipedream at times. So long as you’re there with her to see her research bear fruit, she’ll keep testing and coming up with new methods to eliminate curses permanently, no matter the extremes her research takes her to.

[bleachbleachbleach]

Currently re-reading TYBW in anticipation of the new content and I can't help but be intrigued by the fact that Szayelaporro made enough of an impact on Mayuri that he's-- thinking about him? Vividly hallucinating him???? Whatever is going on there-- in the middle of a battle. Since we don't get a lot of insight into Mayuri's emotional landscape I think it's the first time we really see ANYTHING related to how he maybe feels about past battles

Anon, forgive me, these thoughts are going to be very preliminary because we are 0 for 2 on remembering this scene.

I KNOW, what right do we have to adorn this blog in the mantel of Sunflower Mayuri if we can't even recall his role in TYBW?? (In my defense, while I was cherrypicking bits and pieces to read on behalf of the Zombies, I was like, "hot damn, Mayuri really got around in this arc." I'm honestly not sure there was a single other characters who did more things or went more places or interacted with so many different other characters.)

But I did go and find the panels in question, and they are indeed fascinating! (It's Chapter 643, for those following along.) It's pretty impressive that Subconscious Szayel shows up here, given that it's been almost two years since that fight. Maybe mental time is different for shinigami, since two years is but a drop in the bucket in terms of their lifespan; maybe the memories hold firm because it's like That One Time I Studied Abroad in Hueco Mundo. But here's Szayel, comin' to give Mayuri an off-kilter pep talk:

I like Szayel quite a bit; he's probably my favorite of all the Espada. I liked his fight with Mayuri, too. But I think of all the ways to interpret this extended hallucination, the one that's most interesting to me ends up being pretty impersonal. Like, not thinking about Mayuri and Szayel as individuals with some kind of intense interpersonal relationship but as typology. Maybe Szayel the individual doesn't actually live rent-free inside Mayuri's head, but the fact that a type like him once existed in Hueco Mundo does.

Mayuri sees Hollows as scientific discoveries/lab rats (re: his whole Hueco Mundo caravan, and this extended bit about Arrancar zombies), even after engaging at length with Espada. Mayuri also has strong opinions about how shitty Quincy are. At this moment, he's fighting a war split cleanly between shinigami and Quincy, along ideological lines but also generally existential/essentialist ones. (NB: My grasp of the TYBW's wherefores is VERY limited, because I haven't cherry-picked my way to re-reading those parts yet, but I still feel pretty comfortable in saying this because I am POSITIVE most of the characters involved in this arc know even less than me. Mayuri is not one of them, but that's the general vibe.)

But man, as shitty as Mayuri thinks Quincy are, it's not like he holds the sanctity of shinigami life in high regard, either. He blows up his own men, advertises his desire for no-holds-barred test subjects--and is of course full-willing to modify himself. I think he probably sees this as stretching the boundaries of what "being shinigami" means, rather than leaving the identity behind (that's Aizen's schtick), but the fact that this innate, unyielding, immutable idea of shinigami just isn't that important to him. It's also what this whole big dumb war boils down to, in a way: Quincy right to exist. Shinigami right to exist. Whatever eschatological additions the Soul King stuff brings into all that.

I'm fascinated by a potential reading where, sure, we're talking about Nemu as a perfect scientific achievement (even though there's so such thing, and I firmly believe Mayuri really believes this), but we're also talking about the fact that the thing she is meant to replicate, the horizon she is meant to achieve, is a shinigami. ("Just" a shinigami, albeit idealized around certain subjective parameters Mayuri has defined for the project.)

She's this fantastic scientific achievement, but she's still created in a death god's image, and what's so great about that? This war is being fought for the sake of Soul Society (read: shinigami, fuck Rukongai), so what's so important about the war?

To be fighting in a war that doesn't align with your values (whatever those values are) is a pretty despairing thought. Mayuri just heckled Ikkaku and Yumichika about this earlier in the arc, and deploys similar ironic commentary against zombie Hitsugaya (he's like, "oh, you're probably fine with this horrible, unlivably painful thing I'm about to do to you because it's for the sake of Soul Society, right?"). Hitsugaya and Byakuya also later have a slightly unhinged convo about this later, about fighting for Soul Society vs. fighting for nakama vs. fighting for tomodachi. They come to vastly different conclusions than Mayuri does, but I think are engaged in a similar process of assessment/alignment.

I think Mayuri recognizes that there is no such thing as value-free science. He's certainly not 心優しい (tenderhearted)--I'm thinking about that phrase specifically because that's how he describes Hitsugaya to zombie Hitsugaya--but he's not objective, either. There's no such thing as perfection; there's no such thing as "objective." Nemu getting obliterated? Probably does hurt. He probably does love her, in some very specific definition of the term. But I think it's also a deliberation that's taking place at some higher-order, less personal, archetypal level re: the entirety of the TYBW itself. And Mayuri's basically like, fuck it, eat her, I will make her anew and I will make her better. And there's something in there that's not just about divesting oneself of attachment, or delusions of perfection--it's also about asserting some... viewpoint or vantage point about why the Gotei 13 should be winning this thing.

For Mayuri, whatever that reasons is, it's not noble, nor is it the pure-hearted tomodachi vibes that Ichigo's all in for. Yet whatever it is, it's still something he considers to be setting him apart from Subconscious Szayel. Whatever it is, it looks like Nemuri 8.

[dreamdropxoxo]

hi I know I'm really late to the party but would you maybe consider writing “This is a five-hour-long plane ride, we’re sitting together and you’re deathly afraid of flying” for lamen? I'm sorry for asking that late and would understand if you don't want to write it anymore.

Hello! Thank you so much for your prompt :) I didn’t think someone else would send me one. But I’m really happy you did. I hope you like my approach on this one <3.

Damen hated flying. Normally, this didn’t really bother him. He could visit places by train or with his car or even by ship. He didn’t need to fly to reach his destinations. 

So, he wasn’t really confronted with the terrifying thought of being confined into a metallic chamber, miles above ground, going at a speed that was simply insane and, the worst of it, placing his well-being in the hands of another person, a stranger essentially, who could have a death wish and kill them all. 

‘Don’t think about it, Vallis, don’t think about it.’ Easier thought than done. He was terrified and he just wanted to get out. However, this was his best friend’s idea and he would never let him down. Not since the one time where he had forgotten to bring home his favorite pistachio ice and Auguste had looked so disappointed. 

Auguste had organized a trip for their whole friend group and their families to celebrate the sky rocketed increase in value the stock of his start-up had experienced half a year ago. Thanks to a product improvement his little brother had come up with.

Laurent, said younger brother, was a mystery to Damen. He had never met him, because Laurent normally jetted around the world for his job, never sat still and was one of the most sought after business consultants in the world. Auguste spent all the time he got with his little brother in their own bubble. He once explained to Damen that he had to share his brother with the world all the time and didn’t want to share him in their sparse family-time too.

Damen understood. However, that didn’t keep him from being curious. He would get to meet Laurent on this trip, at least that was what Auguste had told him, because his little brother took the first vacation in three years and accompanied them. Actually, he should even get on the same flight as Damen, who had decided against flying with his friends, because that would be too much pressure on him to be cheerful and pretending to not be as terrified as he actually was. 

The flight- His stomach almost turned. His hands were cold as ice. He closed his eyes and tried to breath deep and long. It didn’t really work, but at least he could concentrate on something different. Like the feeling of being choked right there in his seat. 

This was very inconvenient. He just wanted to stay on the ground forever, why did Auguste have to chose Hawaii of all places? Damn him. If Damen didn’t love him as much as he did he would have flat out refused to go.

“Are you Damianos?” A pleasant voice asked him. He forced his eyes open, his head to turn and saw- a vision of a man. He was sure his jaw would have hit the floor if he didn’t have his teeth clenched so hard it almost hurt.

Slowly, he nodded. 

“I’m Laurent. Auguste already told me you were afraid of flying.”

Damen could only manage another nod. He was terrified and not even the prospect of spending the next five and something hours in the company of this man could calm him down. Laurent sat down in the free seat at Damen’s right. 

“Well, this situation is certainly not optimal. I imagined my first time meeting you would be in a less stressful environment for you. Auguste tells me you’re quite charming normally.” 

Laurent observed him with something like academic curiosity. As if Damen was a wild animal displaying a very particular pattern of behavior. It would have been amusing if Damen wasn’t too preoccupied with reminding himself that the outcome of this flight wasn’t necessary death. 

“I read up on fear of flying before getting on this plane. So, apparently it helps to get all the facts about your possibility of dying. Did you know that the probability of dying in a plane crash is one in eleven millions?” 

Laurent still observed him and Damen felt himself compelled to react somehow. So, he shook his head.

“That might not mean much to you without context. I always forget that most people aren’t really good with numbers. Let’s think about it like that. Your likelihood of dying on this flight is one in eleven millions. Your likelihood of being struck down by lightning is much higher, it’s one in 1.2 million-”

Damen listened to Laurent talking. It was actually calming and a big part of that could be attributed to Laurent’s absolute calmness while he talked about the different ways to perish. His hands moved and Damen was utterly fascinated by them. Even forgetting how terrifying it was to be here.

Right when he thought that, the plane started to move. He wanted to vomit. Laurent took one of his hands and squeezed. “I’m right here. Nothing bad will happen to you.”

When they were in the air, Damen finally managed to say something, not because he had relaxed, but because he needed to hear Laurent’s voice again. “How many times did you already board a plane?”

The blond man still watched him closely. “Oh, I’ve lost count to be honest. I’m one of these people who should cease to exist in regard to climate politics.” He shrugged and Damen stared at him. Could he please just continue talking?

Something must have shown on his face because Laurent’s blue eyes got a fraction softer and he opened his mouth again. “I have a book with me. Would you like me to read to you?”

Damen nodded fervently. Maybe he would survive this trip after all.

[inventors-fair]

Tri, Tri, Tri Again

What makes a common? Usually the little black and/or white symbol on the card, but that’s not the point right now. What makes a common different than an uncommon? The thing is, we know the difference between a common and a rare, even when sometimes those lines are a little weird on older cards like Scion of the Wild and Sinkhole in their own ways. The line is there these days, and we’re designing for the modern era whether we like it or not. I’d hope that after over twenty years of tinkering we’re at a place where we do like it, so there’s that.

What stops a common from being an uncommon, though, is a little harder to quantify. We have to talk about recursion, multiples, finishing, the role in the draft, the complexity for new players, etc. There are so many factors that can make pushing commons hard in ways that we don’t touch that often. I wanted to do this contest because it’s both a restriction and a challenge. Making a common card isn’t easy unless you know your slot. Making a common with the three lines of text, well, that’s something else entirely. And for the most part, I think people did amazing work. There are a couple obvious cases where I feel people should have looked at prior examples, but in terms of general work, we’re on the ball here. 

We’re only doing two bullet points this week: “Things I like” and “Where to improve.” I feel that that’s the most constructive, yes? Gimmicks can be fun, but let’s be real, we are here to get as much positive feedback as we can and to improve what we like to do, which is making custom cards. Easy enough. Let’s pick some cards and some brains. 

@deg99 — Emberwild Inferno

Things I like: On its surface, this is mechanically just fine. It’s a three-mana bolt, but with a distinct upside, and you know, nobody’s going to be upset when playing this in a draft. Red removal is perfectly fine and anti-prevention, while a corner case most days… Well, kind of. There are actually ten current standard cards that prevent damage, which is kind of surprising to me! Still, ten ain’t as much as it could be for relevance, BUT, it’s still perfectly reasonable to see that it would be in this set.

Where to improve: Firstly, “Emberwild” is spelled with an “e” at the end in every iteration of MTG cards printed thus far, and it’s kind of throwing me off. Also, it’s a term from Dominaria; what city is doing the blessing? What city are they in? There needs to be a comma after damage, “cannot” should be “can’t,” and I feel that we have to tell at least one person almost every contest: Damage needs a source. “Emberwild Inferno deals 3 damage to any target.” No spells after 1999 use that kind of wording. Please, please proofread your cards.

@dim3trodon​ — Reassembling Sentinel

Things I like: Totally fine to be using Ward here, and I like where it’s going. This is an interesting cost-to-PT ratio, definitely more aggressive, and I don’t hate it. Flying and first strike later in the game are also totally valid. I’m personally not the biggest fan of ability counters, but in this instance, there’s absolutely nothing wrong here. Permanent additions like this are important for modern Magic.

Where to improve: But why add the ability counters only if they don’t have them? Is there some ruling corner case that I’m missing? Why not just four mana for a flying counter, three for a first strike counter? It doesn’t feel intuitive to me. Yes, multiple counters are waylaid on cards like Crystalline Giant, but that’s because it wants as many as possible. Here, where you can choose, I feel you could have just had it add the counters. Regarding flavor, I don’t see how this card is “reassembling” anything. Assembling, yes, but REassembling? Not clicking for me.

@dimestoretajic​ — Mob Beast

Things I like: Gruul rules! Well, there’s no ruling, but—anyway, this card works in interesting ways and I think it’s pretty serviceable. Raging Kronch comes to mind, and the beasts of Ravnica are definitely up there. It’s an interesting name for sure, and it’s making me think more than it is making me feel critical. Is this beast part of the mob, or belonging to the mob, like it’s being wrangled? It could be either, and that’s fair. This card would make a good finisher.

Where to improve: I’m worried about multiples in draft for sure. I mean, chances are you aren’t going to get too many of them, but having a bunch of hasty finishers can be a bit of a pickle especially when you can also slot these into other multicolor strategies. Maybe it’d need to be tested to be believed, but, y’know, how many one-mana 3/3s are there, right? For the flavor text, emdash your quoter and put them on a separate line. If it’s too cramped, time to revise.

@dumbellsndragons​ — Fledgling Nightblade

Things I like: Renown is fantastic here. I don’t necessarily know how renowned an assassin wants to be, but in their own circles, heck yes. It encourages blocking in its own way, and it’s certainly powerful on that front with the deathtouch. I think for me the flavor is one of the stronger points here, and I want to see a little bit more of a “professionally getting better in all colors and competing” world, so thumbs-up there.

Where to improve: The last time we saw deathtouch and menace at common was Kederekt Creeper from Alara, and, well, I don’t think that’s precedent; deathtouch and menace is strong. Really strong. Like, at common, I think it might be a bit too strong. It shows up printed so little because of that, even at higher rarities. Honestly, a 3-mana 1/2  or 2/1 might be better, but that’s also my worrywart tendencies. I’d have to play. This design as it stands would be fine in a Modern Horizons power level set more than a standard one.

@gollumni​ — Sovereign’s Duty

Things I like: I’m a big fan of “can block any number of creatures” for someone who isn’t super defensive when playing the game. I think it’s neat, and represents cool stuff, and I like this card a lot! The name is generic, but I don’t mean that as an insult. I could see this in a core set, on Dominaria, on Theros, on Eldraine, any number of planes, and for a common, that’s a good thing. That’s some success right there. 

Where to improve: That last ability made me worried about layers until I checked with some rules people. It’s not the layers so much as it is the wording. “As long as enchanted creature’s toughness is 5 or greater, it can block any number of creatures.” Continuous effects. Argh, that really threw me for a second! It was also kind of frustrating because there wasn’t any great precedent, but you know, nothing wrong with new territory.

@hiygamer​ — Guider of Souls

Things I like: Exploit would make a very cool mechanic in Orzhov, and I think that if we ever do a “mechanic/faction mixup” contest then you get precedent on that front. Totally flavorful and totally awesome. I think that Orzhov tokens was one of my favorite draft archetypes from RNA and this card continuing that tradition with death triggers is definitely up there in terms of capturing that feeling.

Where to improve: This card feels busy for some reason. Unfortunately, for this contest, you had to have the three lines, but were this printed, I don’t think it would have vigilance. Two flying bodies would be enough. If you wanted to keep vigilance, I’d definitely knock it down to one body. Two fliers… I feel that that’s too much. But, what do I know. Also why aren’t they white and black like the other Spirits? Regardless, that flavor text is also pretty dry. Not bad, but dry. What if it was the guider talking to the spirits instead? “Come, let me lead you to the light of Orzhova.” Little simpler, shorter, more personal.

@hyenagirldick​ — Poisoned Gookeeper

Things I like: I think despite this being kind of a placeholder, everyone liked this card’s name. I’m up there. This one, wow, this is giving me a lot of whiplash. The typeline is making me think Simic, but the “horror” is making me think Innistrad, but the Scavenge is making me think Ravnica again, but—and so on and so forth. I want context! Mechanically, using “scavenge onto” as a verb here is interesting and I don’t hate it. A good twist on this mechanic.

Where to improve: Despite that drive for context, I think ultimately the mashup is making me more confused than intrigued. It’s just over the line, to be fair, but it needs consolidation of ideas. You’re asking a lot of us here, to interpret the world, a new use for the mechanic (that seems considerably cheaper than the average common scavenge-r), to have a deathtouch blocker like this with the high toughness, etc. It’s not bad! But it’s a lot.

@hypexion​ — Blade of the Blessed

Things I like: I feel that the trend of having cool explorations of auras and equipment is 100% the right way to go and this card feels like it slots right in. Let’s talk about flavor, because without flavor text, this card still tells an amazing story. As long as you’re able, pick up the sword and fight. But, if you’re blessed by XYZ deity, then the blade becomes easier to wield. Fantastic. That much I like.

Where to improve: I believe that the last ability is too complex for common. It’s not that it doesn’t make sense or that it’s too powerful, but I believe that it’s asking stuff from players that they wouldn’t necessarily understand at common; it’s not immediately grokable. I like the space and I like what it’s doing. I think if you drop the cost to 1W it would be a fine uncommon. And you know what, I think I’m in the minority. I think that there will be disagreement, and I understand where that’s coming from.

@i-am-the-one-who-wololoes​ — Mummification

Things I like: I’m always a fan of cycling abilities for sure. Can’t be countered, instant-speed, powerful effects, heck yeah. I’m also a fan of finisher abilities like this. Black’s triggers for life-loss were definitely fun with those big enchantments. There aren’t a heck of a lot of common noncreature non-aura enchantments out there as precedent, but regardless, they exist.

Where to improve: Looking up precedents for this effect, I’m definitely skeptical about this at common. For one, it’s any player. For two, it’s whenever a spell is cast. For three, it’s harder to remove. All that together combined with a potential common cycling shell where you can draft a bunch of these and then make all black spells have extort? Actually, this card is almost strictly better than a two-mana enchantment with “Black spells you cast have extort.” Almost. I think this might have had to go back to the drawing board. As for the flavor, I don’t grok what the name, text, and abilities have to do with one another.

@koth-of-the-hammerpants — Coffin Devourer

Things I like: I just read the flavor text, and, uh. I love it but wow. That’s some nasty, funny, funky stuff. So! Let’s talk about the card. Perfectly serviceable in terms of getting things out of graveyards then making creatures big. There aren’t too many cards with tap abilities and vigilance at common, but they’re definitely there, so that’s okay. Man, I can’t get over that name and flavor combo. That’s really something special.

Where to improve: This card doesn’t really fit the prompt, and I think next time I’d have to reach out about something like this. Vigilance and trample go on the same line; yes, even in standard-legal sets where sometimes abilities don’t go together, because that’s mostly for starters and core sets and the like. Technically it fits the prompt, but for all practical purposes it’s a workaround that shouldn’t have been submitted as-is. Now, that’s Fair meta. The card’s totally fine on every other front, I think. You’re gonna have to decide, though, if you wanna stick with the sort of Scavenging Ooze wording or the Tome Shredder wording. I think you should go with the second, with the exile as a cost.

@mardu-lesbian​ — Rifleman Trio (JUDGE PICK)

Things I like: Huh, another card with vigilance and a tap ability. Well there we go! This card’s also got a lot going on, but it doesn’t feel like anything is at odds with itself, and is also on the upper side of being pushed without going into strictly uncommon territory. It’s got reach (“Stay on the defense, fellas!”) for blocking as it comes down, it’s got conditional vigilance (“Learn from those organized chaps!”) which encourages multicolor play but doesn’t force it, and it’s got that cool damage that is both a finisher, a pinger, and teaches a little about the combat advantage (“FIRE!”). So yeah!

Where to improve: I guess the only question would be where the rifles come from. Is this Ixalan-ian? I don’t think it super matters. This is a great commendable card.

@masternexeon​ — Bloodstarved Beast

Things I like: “Vampire beast” is one heck of a typeline. I like that part a lot, and honesty, I like weird echo costs a lot to. I’m surprised this isn’t a name already, actually! This card feels like its basis is in a lot of neat love letters to old-school Magic and high fantasy, even outside of the choice to submit with old-border.

Where to improve: The complexity of this one is definitely up there and past. Doing weird things with established mechanics that aren’t immediately grokable probably don’t belong at common. What happens when you blink it after previously paying an echo cost, a player might ask? Paying a cost for a continuous effect feels...weird, and I actually don’t know if that works within the rules. Nothing wrong with that specific echo cost, so that’s fine, but the second ability isn’t something I’d personally want at common. For the last ability, it should be “you draw a card and you lose 1 life,” see Phyrexian Rager.

@misterstingyjack​ — Flames of Anarchy

Things I like: Removal and cycling is perfectly serviceable. The cost suggests that the set has a stronger monocolor theme if the removal is costed like this, although it might just be for the slightly more powerful effect (sort of) and the ability to cycle if you don’t have the RR already. Name’s pretty darn awesome, too.

Where to improve: I know that you tried to balance it by making it only his creatures or planeswalkers, but this is still a recursive damage spell that’s asking weird things of you. What sort of set would have a sorcery-matters theme at common? What’s the as-fan? I think you had a cool idea that is indeed cool, but what you’re asking of your set and your rarity is too much than what can be provided. I don’t think this kind of recursion is what you want at common. In the shell that it’s intended to be in, I think it’s too powerful.

@morbidlyqueerious​ — Proven Sword (JUDGE PICK)

Things I like: Like I said earlier, new things with equipment and auras are totally awesome, and I fully support this kind of cost. Equipping to certain creature types for cheap makes sense to me because nine times out of ten it’s not something that’s going to be radically changing; either the creature is there or it’s not, and it’s either a Warrior or not. And that’s cool! First strike can be really powerful with that boost that you’re giving it, and if you have any other warrior or equipment strategies, then you better believe things are gonna get nasty on the field. I think this is a one-of in your pool, but it’s a fantastic one-of. Equipment can be undervalued at times!

Where to improve: I’m not 100% down with the flavor text. The blacksmith doesn’t “make” the metal, do they? They make the blade. I think that you had a good concept but it’s not exactly there yet.

@naban-dean-of-irritation​ — Physical Fluctuation

Things I like: Well, the art’s a big plus, and the flavor’s funny, so that’s pretty great. I think that common combat tricks in the GW sphere have always been a little funky, especially with Ravnica’s weird return to that again and again. There was even that green one, but searching for things that have multiple instances of “target creature” on Scryfall is such a pain.

Where to improve: Seeds of Strength is weird, but they’re all +1/+1 so at least that much makes sense, same buffing all around. Martial Glory is a little harder to grok sometimes, but it’s only up to two creatures, so that’s not the worst that can happen. If you have three creatures, then this card has a number of options that is legitimately making me worried about my ability to do simple math and statistics. The variance here in P/T distribution is off the charts. Yeah, it would make sense in-game, but just on principle, I don’t want that much at common. It’s—you know what, I’m gonna do some math. … There are at least 27 different variations if you have three creatures. I don’t think that that’s what people need at common.

@narkis24 — Unbound Devil

Things I like: Pushed P/T with drawback is totally valid. I like the fact that the “unbound” in the name refers to the fact that you can’t control it, literally, without someone holding the leash. That could make for some fun flavor things. If you’re on-curve, then you got some big beats that you can get in early.

Where to improve: I honestly wonder if it’s too much, actually. Yeah, it has to attack every time, but if you can get a one-drop then this then any removal on-curve and/or more Devils, then you’re in one crazy good spot. I think in terms of power level, this is uncommon for sure. In terms of abilities, I did a little searching, and there isn’t any precedent for non-temporary control switching at common. That’s for a good reason, IMO. Again, this is a great card, but definitely uncommon. And a good draft uncommon, too!

@nicolbolas96​ — Lost to Memory (JUDGE PICK)

Things I like: This is a really funky pauper card that also happens to have great draft function. The destruction is conditional, but on-curve you’re going to be fine with it. If there are no good targets, you can at least get a card out of their hand and deck. I think that the versatility there is awesome and that this card is definitely up there in terms of playability. And, well, it’s not that powerful. That’s a good thing! It stays at the common line while having great effects and not pushing anywhere it doesn’t need to be. Yeah, maybe the Pauper-rack meta doesn’t want it at sorcery speed, but heck, I think it’s great. Good with Chittering Rats

Where to improve: The flavor text lacks something for me. I know sometimes he asks questions, but unless they’re directed at someone specific, they tend to be either contextual to another statement or answered. I don’t know, it just doesn’t feel as...suave as Bolas usually is. It seems small but it’s a hangup for me. Feel free to up his grandiosity.

@partlycloudy-partlyfuckoff — Idyllic Falchion

Things I like: Heh, back to equipment. You know how I feel about that. Interesting sacrifice trigger. I think that that’s the strongest part of the card in terms of—well, maybe not power, but in terms of the “cool” factor and “push” factor. It’s fine for common, and it’s strong, and you need the color to cast it, so that’s awesome. And bonus points for making me look up the word “falchion” too; it helped to envision the weapon and scenario you had in mind.

Where to improve: The second ability doesn’t work. The equipment would need to be on the battlefield for the equip cost to be activated. Instead, it would read: “{cost}: Return ~ from your graveyard to the battlefield attached to target creature. Activate only as a sorcery.” And that would honestly be kick-ass for like...six mana? Get that in your archives, ‘cause I like the idea a lot. As it stands, doesn’t work rules-wise.

@rasputin-gold​ — Copse Fiend

Things I like: “Copse” got me, and I like the vocab check there, very nice. I think that your typing and the general mood is really fantastic, and holy crap, look: that flavor text literally gave  me a touch of ASMR. It’s not the next great American novel, but it fits so well, and it feels great and creepy, and it tells me so much, and that, that’s awesome.

Where to improve: Let’s take all that mood and make a different card with it, because there’s...a lot going on. A four-mana 4/3 with wither would be totally fine by itself at common. GG activation for a lure? Okay, makes sense, but combined with the wither, that’s something that’s far too powerful at common, assuming a set with the mana alignment to make that happen. The assumption that you have a Forest (capital F!) to give it first strike (tertiary in black and NOT in green) and potential recursion is way too far gone. If this card were presented without rarity I would assume it was rare. So, yeah, this is one of those times where it’s not a bad card but for this contest it’s just too much. Keep it appropriate for rarity.

@reaperfromtheabyss​ — Dwarf Forge Scrapheap (JUDGE PICK)

Things I like: Well, I already talked about the clues from the winners’ post, so I’ll go out on a limb and say that yes, I like this one too. A combination of the “shifting animated pile of knobs and gears and junk that when animated can come to life and hit you in the face” with “forget this I’m gonna make mana” is pretty funny to me, in that dry card way, and this card in general is pretty cool. In terms of gameplay, yeah, you can have a beater on turn four if you really need the boost, or late in the game as a colorless source, but it’s also mana-fixing, a three-mana buttwall, and just a cool card all around. I think that this is one of those that could have great art flavored on a cool world, and the name could be changed to fit just about anything. 

Where to improve: “Add ONE mana of any color.” ONE. I’m unreasonably curmudgeonly about that error, somewhat jokingly, a little rib-nudgingly. Easy oversight, but don’t let it happen again! (Kidding, kidding, I know I need to up my editing skills too.)

@snugz​ — Sidestep

Things I like: this card. I like this card, dangit. I don’t care that it wouldn’t be very playable in a whole lot of decks or archetypes as a weird combat trick, but I like it. It’s simple and funny and plays into the “I’m gonna right myself while tripping you up” gag and that’s great. The simplicity speaks to some Rookie Mistake vibes that I’m down with.

Where to improve: Again, I don’t think it’s playable. I could see them printing this card and having it be basically draft chaff, but maybe not, maybe it’s something in a combat-trick heavy set with some radical payoff. Maybe it’s a pauper Heroic card that could make the deck tier-1. But it’s so simple that it’s hard to talk about! I’m sorry I can’t give more feedback than that, honestly. The card’s too well-made. So, with that in mind, you need to season this steak. Any flavor text for any context would be awesome.

@starch255​ — Scab-Clan Brawler

Things I like: 100%, this feels Gruul. It’s a big fighter that’s on-curve with some brutal flavor despite no flavor-text. The notion of the Gruul tribespeople fighting among themselves comes across here fantastically, and having a 3/3 trampler is definitely something that a RG drafter will want on turn three.

Where to improve: [Foreword: This is a lot of text and I swear it’s mostly not criticism; you made me think.]  Brawl needs work. A lot of work. As it stands, either you lose a small creature, you lose this one and put a +1/+1 counter on your bigger creature, or you happen to have a 2/4 that can survive. I am… I’m working this out as I’m writing, and I want to like it, and I want to improve it, but the more I think about it, the more I think that the mechanic isn’t the problem. I think it’s actually surprisingly complex, almost more complex than a Gruul player would want immediately. The choice of payoffs is so hard to think about—and at this point, I’m not so much criticizing as I am ruminating. I really want to play with this mechanic just to see if my knee-jerk “fighting your own creatures is bad, ugh” is lizard brain and if there’s galaxy brain behind it. You’ve put me in a conundrum here. Hold onto this one.

@thedirtside — River Delta

Things I like: Great name, makes sense. I can picture the landscape where you would want this place to appear. Nonbasic lands are pretty interesting to design at common, and breaking away from the Guildgate/Life-gain lands was an ambitious move.

Where to improve: I know fetchlands are weird on the scale, but in terms of probability, the ability to (1) get your colorless mana if need be OR (2) tutor for the land you need while thinning your deck and furthermore (3) getting a 3/3 body once you’ve sacrificed it later in the game… This is borderline rare and might even be pushed for an uncommon. Yes, it’s basic, but in limited that’s a non-issue and in constructed there’s nothing wrong with getting your basic lands just to make this card work for you. The part about it being tapped really isn’t that much of a massive drawback. I like this card a lot. It’s not common power level. Small notes: “shuffle your library” can just be “shuffle” IIRC, and your comma between the 3UG and Exile seems wonky.

@wilsonosgoodmcman​ — Ruthless Vigilante

Things I like: Gotta love a vampire rogue. This particular card doesn’t seem to have a home, but it doesn’t seem to be sending any mixed-messages either. Ixalan doesn’t really want the roguishness, Dominaria could have it but where’s the vigilantism, Innistrad has different colors, Ravnica has different flavors, etc. etc. So does it belong? Yes! But “were” is yet to be determined. That’s totally okay. 

Where to improve: IMO, your abilities are too strong together. Vigilance and deathtouch is a pretty powerful combo once you get yourself in a position where you can attack, because, well, then you still have a murderous blocker. There’s a reason it hasn’t appeared at common yet. The lifelink feels a bit odd, honestly, and the toughness boosting feels out of place. Why is an aggressive vigilante boosting its toughness? Actually, why does a rogue have vigilance? There’s no precedent or flavor connection there. I’m just not feeling what this card is offering me. It might play, like, fine, but it doesn’t feel good and it doesn’t feel like it has a place that couldn’t be replaced by a more cohesive card.

@wolkemesser​ — Dry Sands Summoning

Things I like: We haven’t had a real good desert world since the Abzan from KTK, and I miss that. Having a sandy feel and aesthetic could be really cool here, and I think that what you were going for what the flavor of turning the desert into, like, part of the warrior tribe. That much I like a lot.

Where to improve: I find myself a little frustrated trying to write commentary, because there’s a lot to go on here and I don’t want to be too harsh. I’m going to address the individual parts, but in general, please, please run these cards by people before submitting.

The hybrid cost is fine but that’s pushing it a little. Eventide was an exception I personally liked, but the color weight doesn’t always play well with others. That part is honestly fine.

Enchanting cards in graveyards should never currently appear at common. Spellweaver Volute is a rules nightmare/abomination. 

It would be “Enchant land or land card in a graveyard.” “Warrior” needs to be capitalized. “Enchanted land is a 3/1 Sand Warrior creature with haste. It’s still a land.”

What is the purpose of having a land also be a creature in your graveyard? At common? I can’t envision any scenario in which that would be a reasonable theme. It can’t attack from your graveyard, it would be weird for type-changing in the graveyard with Conspiracy, and it wouldn’t move it to the battlefield either.

The retrace is a decision that’s almost designed to cause confusion. So it could enchant a card in a graveyard, but not be in a graveyard, until it’s in your graveyard, whereupon you can discard a land to cast it from your graveyard, but not target a land discarded this way.

@yourrightfulking​ — Mutilated Faerie

Things I like: This name and the intention of the flavor text is almost grimdark; I’m not averse to that. I actually really like the fact that it can’t block, because it lets you have deathtouch with a little more aggression. The fact that it’s an assassin almost makes me wonder about the story of this individual character, and you know what, that means that flavorfully you’re doing something really right.

Where to improve: The “human sacrificing” part feels important to your implied set, and I don’t know how to feel about that. You get a 2/1 deathtouch body and potentially take out another faction? I mean, if this was Eldraine, this card would probably be actually sought in drafts with the human as-fan. Might be a little too powerful on that front depending on the environment. But, uh, the flavor and name? I want to like it but it’s more confusing than not. “Pixie plucking” seems like either a poaching crime or a children's game, and the reason WHY pixies are plucked could be better specified. The second sentence is a fragment. Your story implies that a plucked pixie will 100% die, but then, how did this one get mutilated? To kill the culprit, the pixie would have had to escape mutilation, and this mutilated one apparently survived a 100% kill rate? Not sure where you’re going with this. Sort it out and you’ll be fine.

And there we have it. Again, I wanna stress, I’m using my best judgement and opinions here, but people are absolutely free to disagree. I hope that the constructive portion, even if it’s something you disagree with, helps see another perspective. Lots of cards here help me see other perspectives as well, and thank you for that. Tune in for something tomorrow. What will it be? The world may never know. Or maybe it will. Or will it?

— @abelzumi​

[the-dead-sea-trilogy]

WIP Wednesday: Ophelia and the King’s Madness

expected to be about 100k+ words total, 50% complete

Hi and welcome to another WIP Wednesday!! Today I’m sharing Ophelia and the King’s Madness, which is a spin off from my Hardenshipping Dead Sea Trilogy that focuses on Colress, the novelty third wheel, and his time in Team Plasma.

Ghetsis hires Colress to look after his daughters who, despite being adults, live completely isolated from the outside world.  But Anthea and Concordia find themselves smitten with the man who brings so many strange and wonderful things to them.  But as their relationship develops, Concordia slowly discovers the truth of who he and her father really are, and must face the choice to leave everything in her world behind.

Hit me during quarantine while I was...... stuck inside all day and couldn’t leave my house........ funny how life does that to you.

There will be mild - but not explicit - sexual themes.  But today is just a preview!  Colress and Ghetsis dunking on one another.

I ripped this straight off my google doc so enjoy all my typos and funny musings ✨

Link on AO3

Ko-Fi Tip Jar

(Full text below the cut)

 Chapter 0.5??? (AT RISE?  CURTAIN???)

 Colress Achroma had seen every sight there was to see in Castelia City.  There was nothing new about the subway station, the cars, the lights, the people, the noise, and even his own apartment.   Nothing fulfilling about the bars, the clubs, the drinks, the parties.[---maybe mention something about the people who lurk in the subway station/swers and how weird they are--]

 And while it was objectively true that there were perhaps hundreds--if not, thousands--of new things to do--drink, fuck--every day, for Castelia City had no shortage of people like him--nothing      felt    particularly new.  Not since he had moved back from the Hoenn region, where he had completed his PhD, which had grown especially underwhelming in its own regard.  While he had certainly missed the sheer expanse of the city in that time--ever since getting his PhD--which had turned out to be nothing but dull barrier after dull barrier--he felt incredibly,      painfully     understimulated.  And so, he sat in the [bleak] alleyway in the dark, grimy underbelly of his hometown, spinning the petals of a white rose in his hand, waiting for something new.

 No, he wasn’t there for a hookup.  He knew better places than here for that.  He knew this underground tunnel system perhaps even better than the subways themselves, even as it ran adjacent to them.   Admittedly, the cryptlike sewer system had become something of a second home to him, ever since he was a kid.  Here in his favorite corner, for instance, there were still even smears of ash from when he had started a fire when he was 14 and narrowly escaped the police.  That, particularly, was the first of what was soon going to become many narrow run-ins with the law.  No, he wasn’t here to sell or solicit, even though he was told someone would meet him here.

 Okay so when put like that, it might as well have been a hookup.

 But as he sat perched up on a ledge, scanning shadows in the dim, yellowy light on the wall--down past the shadows that scooted across the filthy waterways--he saw a long, black shadow emerge from the darkness.  [add in the flower ‘he loves me, he loves me not’ thing?].   Although, it was more as if the cloak had pulled off and carried teh darkness with him.  The man was large; and wore a long, black cloak; his footsteps, which would have otherwise been almost soundless and serpentine, were interjected with a      thud     from his cane--forcing him to walk in an uneven, cacophonic rhythm.  He leaned into his left, and leaned into it hard.  In fact, with the hsape of the cloak, and the way he walked, even from here, it would appear almost as if the man entirely lacked a right hand.      

 Colress dropped another white petal down from the ledge.  “He loves me,” he said, then glanced up at the man and smiled.  He slid down off the ledge and stared up at the large man, the grossish yellowish light grossly illuminating his face.  “You came.”

 “I was told I could find someone here.”

 “Well, you found correctly,” Colress said, waving the flower around.  “Now, what exactly is it you want?  I’m not accepting clients, if that’s what you’re after.  But, there are plenty of girls down here who, if you pay them right--”

 “Enough,” the man said, spitting on the ground at Colress’ feet.  His voice boomed, nearly echoed down the chamber.  “I’m not here for a prostitute.”

 “The polite term is ‘sex worker,’ actually, but--”

 “I’m looking for a scientist, not a whore.”

 “Lucky for you, I’m both,” Colress said, smiling.  The man stops and stares at him, incredulously, like he doesn’t think he could be serious.  Colress flashes some sort of badge at him.  “How can I help you?”

 “You can’t be serious.”

 “Oh I am,”  Colress said.  They stare off again at one another, Ghetsis is like “Nevermind this has to be a mistake” and starts tot turn to go.

 “I thought you might be a little apprehensive, given our location, but I promise, only the best of the best gather in the nighttime here in Castelia City,” Colress said, reaching into his bag.   “After all, how would you have gotten your contacts to get ahold of me? I prepared for you my entire CV--” he extended the document to him [basically traps him from leaving].  The man raised his eyebrows, but tentatively accepted it.  “Although, you should know this is quite the unusual place for a job interview.”  [Colress gives him a devious grin.]  “I dig it.”

 “Jesus Christ,” the man muttered, scanning over the document.

 “What?  Overwhelmed and amazed at my outstanding credentials?”

 “No,” the large man said.  “I had heard the rumors.  I just didn’t believe they were      fucking true    .”

 “Ah, so I have a reputation I see!  That’s good news,” Colress said.  “You should have a clue as to who I am, then.  However, unfortunately I’m still not sure with whom I have the pleasure of--” Colress paused, now seeing the profile of the man in the low light.   “Wait a moment,” he said, beginning to recognize the face.  “I’ve see you before.  You’re…” [the memory comes to him] “You’re Ghetsis Harmonia,” he said.  “The leader of Team Plasma.  All those ones going around talking about all that ‘Pokemon’s Rights’ bullshit--”

 “Pokemon liberation.”

 “Oh and the      airship!      Quite a mechanical wonder, I have to admit.  I’ve always sort of wanted to get up close and personal with that antigravity machine,” he said.  He leaned in to Ghetsis with a sing-song tone.  “Are you here to give me a ride~!”

 “Only if you’re useful.”

 “Useful?” Colress asked.  “In what way?”

 [is he like a court jester to a king????]

 “I’ve already told you I’m not accepting clients.  That’s never been my game anyway.  Useful?  To Lord Ghetsis Harmonia… isn’t that what they call you?  My lordship?  My king?  Leader of a selfless, benevolent organization devoted to the freedom of Pokemon.  It’s quite ambitious, I have to say.  I’ve never really seen anything quite like it.”

 Ghetsis was silent.

 “But what could a proud, noble, and upstanding lord want with a--ah, what was it you called me?”

 [MAKE SUR EHE CALLS HIM SOMETHING BEFORE THIS]

 “‘A sewer rat’ like me…?”

 “Research,” Ghetsis said, shortly.

 “Oh?” Colress asked.  “Of what kind?  Surely we didn’t have to meet in such a remote location to go over my CV.  We could have gotten lunch.  Oh, or      brunch--!    ”

 “Enough,” Ghetsis said, more sternly.  “I won’t tolerate this level of [silliness? Pfffft No better word].”

 “Then what do you need of me, my lord?”  

 “I need you for research.  A very particular kind of research my own scientists believe you to be capable of.”

 “Oh, scientists from down here?” Colress said.  “Word certainly does get around.  But what makes you think so?”

  [Ghetsis hands him some kind of flyer from a battle or tournament or something]

 “How’d you do it?” he asked.

 Colress raised his eyebrows.  “What do you mean?”

 “Your thesis was about DNA and Mega-Evolution,” Ghetsis said.   “And this,” Ghetsis pointed again to the page.  “You enhanced its power for competition.”

 “I didn’t enhance anything,” Colress said, flatly.  The flatness in his voice, however, spelled sarcasm.  “The ‘power of friendship’ did that.  If I had enhanced anything, that would be cheating, wouldn’t it?”  Colress paused.  Examines Ghetsis.  “Of course, the ‘power of friendship’ in this scenario might involve a few extra nuts and bolts.   Nothing more.”

 [  Ghetsis like grunts or makes one of his Ghetsis noises.  Colress kind of turns and looks at him.  Ghetsis maybe says something like [We could pay you well to do it again] or something etc.]

 “But what would a noble Lord want with a researcher like me?   What would an upstanding and noble, pacifist organization like Team Plasma possibly want to do with Pokemon battling power?  And, with you coming to me in such circumstances, I’m beginning to think that you’re either horny, or Team Plasma isn’t exactly what it says it is.”

 “We have certain aspects that we keep only to the initiated.”

 “Well, it’s a cult, isn’t it?” Colress said.  “I mean, Team Plasma is a cult.  You all walk around in hats and robes, handing out pamphlets and preaching about love and destiny and higher wisdom.  And you at the very helm.”

 Pause.

 “Well, if this is a personal invitation to join your freaky little cult, I’m afraid to tell you I’m not really religious, and I don’t really plan on ‘being saved’ any time soon--”

 “I heard you weren’t satisfied with your day job.”

 “Day job?  What day job?” Colress laughed.  “I don’t need to work for a living.”

 “Exactly.”

 Long pause.

 “I do what I want.  I’ve been waiting for the right opportunity to come around.”

 “And what exactly is that opportunity, Colress?”

 [Long pause. Colress decides it’s time to spill.  Something pulls him to know to understand what Ghetsis is there for, air of malice.]

 “Have you heard of an organization called Cipher?”

 “Faintly.”

 “They were a criminal organization responsible for the ‘Shadow Pokemon’ incident that happened about a decade ago in the Orre region.”

 Ghetsis raised his eyebrows, interested.

 “They operated in secret laboratories in abandoned warehouses scattered throughout the region.  Their laboratory director, Ein, was behind the conception of the project,” Colress said.  “In his profile, he is described as someone ‘long on ambition and short on emotion,’ something to which I think we both can relate.”

 “Mhm,” Ghetsis siad.

 “Ein was the pioneer behind the creation of these creatures--Shadow Pokemon.  Pokemon capable of entering this hyper-empowered state.”

 [Maybe more nods.]

 “I always sort of wished I could talk to Ein.  But, unfortunately like any other criminal organization, they were eventually found out, and their records destroyed.”

 “So what was the point in you telling me all that?”

 “Please let me monologue.” [Say something about how like if he’s going to join an evil organization he’s only going to get a chance in this once in his life--also maybe it’s like he’s given ghim a sales pitch??]

 They stare at each other.

 “What they were doing was highly illegal, of course.  Though, I couldn’t stop myself from wondering, if, given the opportunity, I could do better.”

 [They have a moment where they’re on the same page.]

 “Cipher’s mistake was that the Pokemon were strong, but ultimately uncontrollable,” Colress said.  “Their approach, ironically enough, was too emotional.  This flimsy control maxed out Pokemon’s power, but brought them into a manic state that made them lash out uncontrollably.  This lack of control also made it an easy effect for anyone to reverse.  A handful of people were known for doing so.  They called it Purification.  ‘Opening the door to a Pokemon’s heart,’ that’s what they called it.  In fact, that’s even how Ein himself chose to define it,” Colress said.

 [Colress turns and then laughs].  “That’s what he called it.   Can you believe?  ‘Opening and closing the doors to the heart…” what the fuck does that even mean?  Some bullshit phrasing they made up to describe the process of divorcing a creature from its emotional integrity.  ‘Hearts’ and ‘doors’ aren’t measurable data.  It was a chemical they were using.  A wave.  Cipher’s true methods, as I’ve said, were unfortunately lost to time.  But, we do have the work of Professor Krane, who developed a more regimented procedure for purifying these Pokemon,” Colress said, smiling.  “It’s a wave.  They used EM waves.”

 “Congratulations.”

 “The way I see it, Cipher’s approach likely targeted the limbs, so to speak, rather than the creature as a whole.  This left weak points that Krane and other purification scientists were able to exploit.  If they wanted to truly be successful, they would have had to find a way to overrun the entire mind of the creature,” Colress said.

 “So success would mean absolute control?”

 “Yes,” Colress said.  “Precisely.”

 “That I can agree with you on.”

 Another pause.  “Theoretically, one would be able to use the work put forth by Professor Krane to reverse-engineer the way that Cipher created these Pokemon, and then build upon it for their own ends.  To do so would be highly unethical, of course, and cause quite a stir in most procedural review boards,” he said.  “So it remains a fantasy that I’ve considered, but never fully entertained.  The bureaucrats win out again, and for good reason, I suppose.”

 “That’s quite a tale you’ve spun for me.”

 “Isn’t it?” Colress asked.  “I always thought so.  But that’s not what we’re here about, is it?  We’re here for you,” [he turns to him and smiles].  “So, Lord Ghetsis Harmonia… cult-leader, king.  What is it that I can do for you?”

 “By the sound of it…” Ghetsis said, slowly.  “Exactly what you want.”

 Colress [does something], smiling.  “Then, gratefully, my lord, I am ever at your service.”  [Maybe kisses rose and tosses it at his feet?  → this ties him back to Concordia]

[rockhopsblog]

Kendrick Lamar’s DAMN-- A New Hip Hop Legend

Whether tall tale, truth, or somewhere in between, 13 time Grammy Award winning rapper/songwriter Kendrick Lamar Duckworth’s rise to immortality is nothing short of a cosmic wonder. To go back to the beginning, let’s first take a look at his most recent solo project, 2017’s Album of the Year nominee and Best Rap Album winner “Damn”. The very last track of the album, “Duckworth”, tells of a saga that took place during the rapper’s infancy. The mythic-like storytelling follows the journey of his father, mother, and what would one day become the owner of the record label that propelled Kendrick into stardom. Kendrick’s father, “Ducky” supposedly worked at a chicken fast food restaurant, which “Top Dawg” Anthony Tiffith, proprietor of Top Dawg Entertainment, frequented. Tiffith was a notorious gangster on the block who aspired to be the first one from his neighborhood to reach the life of luxury. Tiffith went on to plan and subsequently rob the chicken place Ducky worked at, but spared his life because he had always given him an extra biscuit with his meals. Because of this decision, Kendrick grew up with his father around, helping to keep him out of the L.A. gang wars and keeping Tiffith out of prison so he could go on to found a record label. Things obviously could have gone very differently, but they didn’t. As Kendrick himself puts it: “Whoever thought the greatest rapper would be from coincidence? Because if Anthony killed Ducky, Top Dawg could be serving life, While I grew up without a father and die in a gunfight”.

Growing up in Compton, CA and making it out to be a success is no small feat. Throughout the years, one of Kendrick’s closest collaborators has been a rapper/blood gang member, Jay Rock, who too came from the neighborhood that Kendrick grew up in. Also a close friend of theirs- Schoolboy Q, a crip. Kendrick Lamar has been on the forefront of using his voice to unify people involved in gang violence and deterring those who may later fall into it. In 2015, Kendrick designed and released his signature shoe with Nike, aimed at the unification of people divided by the lifestyle that many of his friends and family became victims of during the tribulations of his youth. In 2007, a friend of Lamar’s called “DT” was gunned down by police for reportedly posing a threat, an event which seemed to Kendrick was all too common in his life. The silver lining, however, seems to be that there’s no shortage of the tales in Kendrick Lamar’s rap repertoire to depict the dangers and deeper meanings about the reality of gang activity, giving those steeped in that side of life hope for betterment and success. 

In the early stages of Kendrick’s career, he was selected to be in one of the first XXL freshmen, an annual group of rappers recognized by the hip hop publication as up and coming artists. XXL’s freshman freestyles were new at the time, and Kendrick Lamar’s verse in the cypher was prominently featured online and the cypher itself is often looked back on as a classic among those available on YouTube. Those who initially viewed the freestyle session may have come looking for other, better known rappers, only to find themselves stumbling upon the discovery of a young Kendrick Lamar. Around this same time, he released his first official single, “HiiiPoWeR”, which was produced by the now prolific J. Cole. These two, in their own rights, have become widely regarded as today’s best hip hop lyricists for their hard hitting and meaningful bars. Rubbing elbows too with Kendrick was the now superstar pop sensation and rapper, Drake. Drake, a Toronto rapper, has helped launch several careers through featuring on their music because of his viral popularity. When Drake and Kendrick collaborated on Kendrick Lamar’s “Good Kid M.A.A.D. City”, Drake’s career was still in its early stages, but their song together certainly helped garner a mainstream appeal for the release at the time. All in all, it is clear to anyone doing some digging that not only did Kendrick work hard at refining his craft to become prolific, but that he was also met with great fortune in making the correct moves early on in his career to find the notoriety that he now enjoys. 

Fueled by artists such as Tupac Shakur, Ice Cube, Kurupt and Eminem, Lamar has carried the torch forward from the 90s into the modern age of rap. During the famed “California Love” music video shoot featuring Dr. Dre and Tupac, Kendrick has claimed a small piece of hip hop legend by saying he was present in Compton, on the scene for the shoot. As a child, seeing such an idol and icon propelled his drive to follow in the footsteps of the greats of yesterday. In 2015, Kendrick sat down for an interview with the group N.W.A. who’ve had such classics as “Straight Outta Compton” and “Express Yourself”. In the conversation, Lamar said: “anything that I do, it always comes from what y’all done, I wanna get y’all take on my generation today and what we have as far as music”. In response, DJ Ren retorted “I like a few, I like you”. The metaphorical hand-off is evident, from O.G. approval to the strong impact in waves that Lamar has been able to produce from just four major label solo albums. From Anderson .Paak to Roddy Ricch, Kendrick has set out and proved more than he’d ever dreamed of.

Currently, Lamar has two triple platinum records as well as one platinum record which was maybe the most adventurous and critically acclaimed album, not only of his career, but of that decade. Rolling Stone magazine journalist Greg Tate called “To Pimp a Butterfly” a “masterpiece of fiery outrage, deep jazz and ruthless self-critique”.With songs like “The Blacker the Berry” and “Hood Politics”, the fabric of TPAB was woven to reflect the attitudes of a movement of racial justice and equality in a time of great struggle and oppression. Aside from exposing the brutalities of life as a black man in the United States, Lamar also presented the album as a platform to uplift and celebrate the accomplishments and great artistic devotions of black people from around the world. Many consider this album to be Kendrick Lamar’s magnum opus. He has shown that his work has staying power, and that his albums stand out among the formulaic pop-trap that reigns supreme on the radio. Perhaps TPAB has gone the farthest out of any other thing to help cement him as the king of hip hop and the greatest rapper of the generation. 

With a back catalogue so insanely successful you’d expect Mr. Kendrick Lamar to be universally beloved, right? Well, not so fast. No inspection of Lamar’s career would be complete without the mention of his ground-breaking verse on the song “Control” by Big Sean. Kendrick decided to seize the moment coming off of his first platinum album by going after 11 of the biggest names in rap at the time, including: J. Cole, Meek Mill, Drake, Big KRIT, Wale, Pusha T, ASAP Rocky, Tyler The Creator, and Mac Miller. Many interpreted his lyrics in which he called out these artists to be a diss, but we now know that it was, in fact, Lamar’s intent to light a flame under these artists to create higher art. The people named on the verse were people Kendrick truly believed had the potential to create truly classic works, and his bar “I got love for you all but I'm tryin' to murder you” was aimed at them because of the intention to hype them up to work harder and realize that they weren’t inherently owed the popularity bestowed to them. The so-called “Control verse” made such a splash that even rappers who weren’t even named in the song made counter-disses to the single verse in the form of an entire song. Most notable out of these songs were Joe Budden’s “Lost Control”, Joey B4Da$$’s “Killuminati Pt. 2”, and Lupe Fiasco’s “SLR 2”. Despite the negativity spawned from this verse aimed to do good in the hip hop community, Kendrick Lamar’s twitter saw a 510% increase in followers just days after the dropping of the single. If there even was any “beef” to be had regarding this song, it is clear who the real winner was.

From the president of the United States claiming his favorite song was a Kendrick Lamar song at one point, to winning a Pulitzer Prize for 2017’s “DAMN”, the mile-high accolades of Kendrick seem almost too good to be true. However, of all accomplishments, perhaps his greatest is his influence on music. Not only has he single handedly put on several label-mates to the mainstream, but he has risen the bar of what it means to write a good rap song in this day and age. Not content with people who churn out 30 song albums as a money grab, Kendrick has shown that effort is important, that careful construction of art is important. Lamar has also been credited as reviving the importance of the hip-hop music video. It is clear during a listening session on Spotify or YouTube that so many troves of artists, young and old, are attempting to emanate the same X factor that Kendrick Lamar Duckworth has been so highly praised for, and rightfully so.

[pandoriasbox]

Jade’s SSO Rambles - 8 Updated Care/Bonding System

(Please keep in mind that these are my thoughts and opinions at the time of writing these rambles. I may change my mind in the future.)

Some time after I sorted out my thoughts on the current care system I took a step back and finally fit the pieces together regarding how I think a new “care” system could be implemented into SSO. Some of this is pulling from ideas for my own personal horse game concept but I don’t think that’ll be an issue. My game is intended to be a single player experience with a very different horse system to SSO’s collect ‘em all style of horse models.

We are very long overdue for a better care system and I certainly don’t blame the team for taking their time on it. I would prefer to wait over having something so integral to the game’s core be rushed and sloppy. I just hope that I can toss my own two cents in and propose some decent ideas that might help facilitate a better experience.

A final additional note before I begin, I do have ideas for how to expand on the care skill I will be lightly brushing over but I plan on doing a separate ramble on it. Primarily it involves some suggestions for improving the skill and making it more useful and interesting than its current implementation and expanding on ideas for the Rescue Ranch and Jorvik Rangers.

Regardless of System Adjustments (From Previous Ramble)

Remove designated care areas (stable interior, outside of stables, ranch rp areas, ect) and let the player do basic care actions such as brushing, hoof picking, watering and feeding anywhere.

Remove the loading bar and just play the animations as well as remove the blinking/fading black screens. If necessary clip the player into place like when mounting and simply let them move from where they are after the animation. (Unless it could cause issues with players clipping through walls.)

Keep a simplistic means of doing horse care for roleplay and accessibility. (I don’t think the mini games are a bad idea but I think something simple that is a single click or click and drag with animations should be kept in.)

Bonding System Overview

Horses do not need daily care to maintain happiness which is removed along with the debuffs for not caring. Any care performed instead builds up the horse’s “bond” with the player. Bond does not give buffs to speed or anything that actively affects racing or PVP gameplay. Bonding is also earned by actively interacting with the horse. Your current ridden horse does not lose bonding even when dismounted.

The bond level is only decreased while the player is in game and not actively riding the horse. I would argue that technically horses in the pasture should be allowed to maintain their bond level and only horses kept active in the stable should be affected. (Pasture horses are resting and this would allow players to build up bond with their sometimes 100+ horses without feeling punished for having so many.)

Having high bonding with a horse primarily affects the player when they are actively riding the horse. This could result in bonuses such as earning more horse experience, getting a boost to endurance/horse HP and maybe your horse even can randomly find items for you. I also like to think if potions were added to the game that those (and visual effects like powders) could have extended use on high bonded horses.

Benefits

Treats/Feed Boosts

Increased Bond (Points)

Speed Boost

Agility Boost

Jump Boost

Endurance/HP Boost

High Bonding Benefits

Boost to Horse Exp

Higher Endurance/Horse HP

Horse Randomly Finds Objects

Potions and Powder Effects Last Longer

In general I think switching to a “bonding” system is far more friendly to all players but especially children. It avoids this idea of abusing your horses if you don’t care for them and that your actions could cause unhappiness for your animals. It also removes the guilt of not paying for stable care and as I mentioned in my other care ramble allows players to spend more money on buying more horses without feeling guilt of getting additional horses.

This system would also make it easier to manage large amounts of horses and make it more enjoyable to switch between all of them. For me I generally feel trapped into only riding a few at a time because I cannot afford stable care. That means I either plan out who I ride or suffer through a heavily debuffed horse since both stable care and vets are too expensive and I personally don’t have the time to care for more than 5 horses.

The suggestions I will bring up could give players better means to interact with their horses and control their play style, adding more to how players think about interacting with the game while still giving them reasons to log in often. At the same time though players aren’t being punished (or technically rewarded) for not playing the game either.

Loss of Bond and Freezing Bond Level

Loss of bonding over in game time only occurs on horses who are stabled and not pastured or not your currently ridden horse.

While the player is in game stabled horses’ bond levels will slowly decrease. This can be paused for the day by doing any action that increases bonding. (For example just running around and petting or feeding each stabled horse once is enough.) When the server ticks over to the next day the bond will begin decreasing again while the player is in game. It’s best to do this as soon as you jump on to play to freeze the horse’s current bonding level.

For players who do not wish to actively interact with each horse I believe having a feeding system (not unlike Amelia’s idea for a silo) would work well as an automated bonding action to freeze your background bonding loss. I will go into this more later in the rambles but it would activate with server rollover and not require the player to initiate it so they can have hands free care without requiring SC.

Bond loss due to time in the stable unridden should not be a rapid loss, it should take around 3-4 days worth of not caring for your horse at all while playing the game to completely lose bond level. Bonding should be able to be relatively quickly increased but require more effort to do so faster.

Whenever your actively ridden horse is injured to the point of having no HP left that will reduce bond level by quite a bit. You put your horse in harm’s way and did not protect them therefore they feel less of a bond with you. Whenever your horse is injured enough to remove HP that may also slightly decrease bond as well.

Increasing Bonding

Primarily bond would be improved via interacting with your horse with the main ways being feeding, watering, grooming, petting and racing/training. When racing/training bond is gained (and any bonus exp is earned) with the horse whom you turn it in with.

I think a new feeding system should be implemented along with this idea where instead of doing “stable care” and paying SC to activate it the player has the option to use their feed room to craft food for their horses and choose a feeding schedule for them. Scheduling feed would be similar to stable care where the player simply picks how many days they’d like it active and can cancel the current feed (while keeping in mind they won’t get anything in return for doing it.) The amount of feed needed increases along with how many days the player’s horses will be fed. This should not be affected by the stable size or number of horses in the stable however.

Horse feeding would only apply to horses currently stabled and not affect pastured horses. Doing a mass stable feed allows the player to either choose between doing a basic feed to maintain bond (increasing it by 1pt) or to apply bonuses such as improving how much bonding it provides or adding boosts to stats.

Feed can be obtained via either crafting it (free but more effort) or purchasing it from a food vendor with shillings or SC. Standard feed can be bought with JS or SC but specialized feeds might require SC. All food can be crafted but not everything can be purchased. Crafting requires more effort on the player’s part as they need to collect the ingredients in the world (or save some from events such as free food from the Winter Village. Or maybe we could have our own farms and gardens someday.)

Any stat boosts should be relatively small however and not able to stack. If there is stacking it should only be with different boosts. For example if a player has a horse on a feed that boosts speed then feeding them a treat that boosts speed should not add more speed. However the horse in speed boosting feed could have a treat that boosts jump. Potentially they could be fed multiple treats but only be buffed once per stat.

In addition to feed I think having craftable treats would be wonderful for expanding horse care and adding more a personalized experience. If trading is ever implemented players could sell or gift horse food they made to others. Even without trading this could be a small way for players to make money and convert materials they find in the world into shillings through the effort of crafting.

When feeding your horse however there should be a limit and using feed counts as one point of feeding for that day. The player can continue feeding their horse treats but after say 5 feedings they no longer boost your horse’s bonding. This may also be something to keep in mind with grooming where doing the main grooming actions only give bonding once per day but can be performed countless times. (Such as brushing, hoof picking and using the wash stall.)

I also think it might be cute if your horse has a preference for a specific kind of food each day which is randomized. If you can guess what type of food it is (like a treat with apples in it or just apples) then it could give an extra bonding bonus. I wouldn’t go with horses having perma favorite foods because I know I personally like to imagine my horses liking certain things then I feel disappointed if they don’t follow my idea in game. This also could encourage players to try feeding their horses a variety of treats as well, encouraging them to find and create each recipe.

Horse Food and Recipes

I think starting out the player should have access to some basic options such as being able to feed their horse a few standard food (+1, +3 or +5 bonding effect per day for feed or per treat) and maybe a basic speed boost recipe for feed and treats.

For advanced recipes the player will need to complete mini quests and befriend/increase reputation with the NPCs or groups around Jorvik. For example, after helping Ed Field fix up the inn and revive it he has enough rep with you that he decides to give you a nutter butters weird horse treat or feed recipe. Other options could be a questionable but safe smoothie from Tim or Jamie Olivetree giving you a horse biscuit recipe that with some tweaking the player is able to figure out how not to burn to a crisp. Marly’s family could give rewards unique to each of them including his sister offering a gourmet one.

These recipes would be unlocked following a mini quest given by the NPC and then become permanently available in the crafting part of the feed room. In general it’s a nice way to both give players more reasons to interact with the world and reward those who get invested in it. It also helps flesh out the NPCs and the world we are living in while adding some more holistic aspects. To me it would feel like I’m truly making friends and finding a home in the world of Jorvik through small things such as NPCs appreciating my help so much they gift or help me out in turn. This would also be something that requires the player to work for the more “powerful” items in the game AKA the ability to properly buff your horse outside of tack.

Quick Care Skill Notes

I think I will leave an in depth discussion on improving the care skill to another ramble but I wanted to cover a few ideas and how they might factor into this new bonding system

Players with higher care skill would have automatic bonuses applied to their bonding with all of their horses. For example let’s say every 5 levels of care the player gains an extra +1 with all bonding increases. A player at level 1-4 in care would receive no benefit, one at level 5-9 would get +1 and 10-14 would get +2 and so on. So if brushing only gave +1 bonding usually then a player at level 10 would get +3 bonding with their horse.

If more aspects were added to horse health and we were able to heal our horses with bought/crafted first aid kits then having high care could result in both gaining more bond back as well as improving how much your horse is healed.

Potentially a player with high care skill could have a chance of producing better quality feed and treats with a basic treat that normally only gives +2 could have a 25% chance of being boosted to a higher quality such as giving +5 bond instead.

Overall I’m incredibly happy with what I was able to come up with and even if none of this makes it into the game I do hope that my discussion can help inspire the team or anyone else who reads this when it comes to thinking critically about game systems. I do hope it helps with brainstorming and thinking about how to address interconnected systems within SSO itself though and can provide some benefit to the team. 

Silo idea mentioned can be found in Amelia and Leila’s interview! I also want to mention that the recipes idea was most likely pitched to me by my friends but I apologize for not recalling who as both @sso-ali-archdotter and @centeris2 have been integral to helping me flesh this idea out and I want to thank them profusely for listening to my endless jumbled rambles. 

I also hope you all enjoyed reading through my thoughts on a bonding system and found it intriguing! Let me know if you have any thoughts by leaving a reply, reblog or ask! Likes are always welcome as well and thank you for taking the time to read through this huge discussion!

[choptopsbigstinkyslut]

For the a to z headcanon thing, could you do otis driftwood and chop top for any letter(s) please? I love your writing!

I very much so can!! I’ve already done Otis so here is that !!

Thank you so much for the request and thank you for the sweet sweet compliment!

Heres some choptop lovin!

Headcanon Game - A to Z (NSFW)

A = Aftercare (What they're like after sex)

I know it's hard to believe but lemme tell you right now Choptop actually can show lotta compassion for his S/O. He may be a redneck ass Cannibal but he actually cares about you a lot. You're his precious little Sweetheart and he wants to make sure you're okay. If you need hugs, he will hug you and kiss you and squeeze you until your eyeballs POP out. If you need a bath, he will most certainly arrange that...somehow. Hey, it's not my job to figure out the logistics of the Sawyer family bathing while living in an abandoned amusement park,, again, not my job. My job is simply just to make your fantasies come true smut wise. Capiche?

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner's)

Hmmm, I'm not entirely sure why but I've got it in my head that Chop top finds his neck relatively attractive. Although on you,, oh god don't make him choose. For the love of Christ don't make him choose! He's so obsessed with your body in its entirety he doesn't know what to do. From your lips to your thighs-- it's all just perfect.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically... I'm a disgusting person)

THICC. This stuff is hot, sticky and so so sweet and lemme tell you,,, there is TONS of it.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

I dunno if it's fair to out him like this, really I don't think it is but I can tell you right now that Choptop hold's a dirty secret regarding him, a busted door lock and Drayton. I'll let you put those pieces together to look at THAT puzzle.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they're doing?)

I don't think Chop top has a lot of Experience but he does try. I feel like he can pick up on the flow of things pretty quickly. Out of Nubbins, Bubba and Him I think he is the one who can pick up on social cues pretty quickly. If you're hinting at wanting to try out Oral he can usually string the pieces together and figure out whatcha want.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

Ride !!!! Him !!! Look hear me out, I think Chop Top has the most intense Worship kink. He is obsessed with admiring your body and if you're riding him and he doesn't have to do much? He gives him the perfect opportunity to sit back and enjoy the view.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

A good balance for Chop Top. It really depends on his partner. If you want a more serious in the moment experience, he will give you that 100% but if it comes more like a fun spur of the moment kinda thing I think he can crack a few jokes here and there.

H = Hair (How well-groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

I feel like a broken record. None of these slashers Shave!! I don't know what else you want me to say, they just don't care about pubic hair the way people might think they do. They don't. Seriously.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect...)

Again, it's really up to you. Despite him being chaotic I feel like he's got a soft side on him when it comes to you. If you really want to have an intimate moment with him he will do his very best to provide you with that. He'll call you sweet pet names and worship your perfect body. Yeah. Lots of that.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Ooooh okay, so I feel like Choptop is really secretive about his Masturbation habits. He claims he doesn't but he's absolutely in love with doing so.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Someone has a Queening and Worship kink and I can tell you it's not me.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

Literally, any place he can get away from his stinky family.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

While Dirty talk is a big turn on, Surprise him!! Dress up for him!! Got anything new and sexy? Put it on, ask him what he thinks about it!! He'll probably tell you it's lovely but would probably look better on the floor.

N = NO (Something they wouldn't do, turn-offs)

Choptop is not a fan of Anal as a concept just...hngeueri. He also probably isn't fond of the idea of threesomes. Maybe it comes from insecurity or maybe a place of wanting to protect you from other prying eyes.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Chotop has an oral obsession!! He adores giving and receiving!! But mostly giving, nothing and I mean NOTHING gets him more excited than to see you squirming and whining as he uses his tongue on you!! However,, he wouldn't admit to this but he does enjoy receiving...he won't pressure it but he does enjoy it.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

It's all on you sweetheart!! If you ask him to do it Fast and rough he will certainly rip you apart but if you'd like to have that slow and Sensual moment,,, he can also arrange that.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Hmmm. It's complicated. With as busy as he is, Quickies are convenient but nothing beats proper sex. Again, he'll engage in a Quickie if you're desperate for him but he'd honestly rather wait till you've both got some free time so he can do it right.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Hell yes!!!! Choptop is so game to experiment and take risks!! Any kink you might have he's down to try. Any position you wanna try, he'll give it a shot. He'll pretty much try anything if you ask him to.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last...)

Between you and me this boy has some Stamina. Choptop could honestly go for days if you let him and he lasts awhile. It takes him a hot minute...or a hot couple of hours to finally get himself off. If you have a high sex drive please just know Choptops is higher.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Choptop doesn't have any,, however, if you've got any toys and want to experiment a little bit- he is so totally down to give that a shot !!

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Choptop likes teasing in theory but he's terrible at it. Absolutely terrible at it. He tries to tease you really hardcore but he can't help himself!! He just wants to see you naked and all tied up in him!

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Huh? Sorry, I can't hear you, my hearing is messed up because of all the groaning.

Oh, yeah Choptop can get really loud when it comes to sex from the moaning, groaning, growling and panting he's just a really loud guy.

W = Wild Card (random headcanon)

Choptop is one to enjoy a good smash with some music if you get my drift.

X = X-Ray (Let's see what's going on in those pants, picture or words)

Well...I'm sure you'd like to hear all about that fully erect seven-inch dick all up in there right?

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

I've said it once I'll say it again, Choptop has a stupid high sex drive. A ridiculously high one.

Z = ZZZ (... how quickly they fall asleep afterward)

Not very. He makes sure you are okay and calmed down before sleeping is even a thought. It doesn't matter how long it takes. You sleep before him. Got it?

[yurimother]

LGBTQ Game Review - Lingua Fleur: Lily

A significant part of my job is knowing the details of the goings-on in the world of yuri. It, therefore, shames me to admit that I almost missed out on the visual novel Lingua Fleur: Lily as I was completely unaware of it until Taiwanese studios Narrator and Storia, the game’s developers and publishers, messaged me. Thank the great goddess of yuri that they did, because I would have regretted missing this experience.

Lingua Fleur: Lily is a short kinetic visual novel set in a university told from the perspective of student Yuyi, the protagonist. Yuyi is a quiet and introverted student, hardly interacting with her classmates and having no close friends. Her isolated circumstances change when she is paired with the outgoing Yile, the deuteragonist of the story, during physical education. Slowly Yile beings to befriend Yuyi, helping her to come out of her shell and be truthful about her identity and difficult past.

As previously stated, Yuyi is extremely reserved and often anxious. However, she is also quick to anger, often getting short during Yile’s antics. This can make her seems stern and unlikable at moments but overall she is very realistically written. As the story progresses these moments mostly fade out and she becomes more likable and friendly while maintaining to her quiet and anxious demeanor. Her narration is the most enjoyable part of her character, as it gives insight into her feelings and her discomfort with certain situations, helping her to feel human.

In every way, Yile is the opposite of Yuyi. While the ladder is restrained and apprehensive, Yile has no such inhibitions. She is excitable and bubbly, often eagerly blurting out the first thought that comes into her mind without regard for how it makes others (specifically Yuyi) feel. This is never really treated for laughs, as this game is not in any way a comedy, but rather used to contrast Yuyi, helping develop her character by reflecting and responding to Yile’s actions. Unfortunately, most of the time Yile too easily falls into the stereotype of the naive and energetic girl.

There are however some lovely moments when Yile breaks out of this stereotype,  particularly when she or Yuyi is more emotionally vulnerable. For example, at the beginning of the game, Yuyi gets slightly during physical education and runs away. Yile chases after her to comfort and care for the reluctant Yuyi. It is a touching moment that really serves to establish the dynamics between the characters.

The game is complete with full Chinese voice acting. Both lead actresses do a decent enough job, shining especially during the quieter and more somber moments (which are plentiful). The louder moments of joy or anger are a struggle for them, the actress behind Yuyi does not carry enough vocal power for the scenes in which she yells (usually at Yile) and Yile’s tends to ascend into a grating shriek. I will give credit to the game for voicing even minor character that speaks only a few lines as well as the girls though. Overall, the voice acting added more to the game than it detracted but there is definite room for improvement.

Lingua Fleur is not a story of romance or attraction but rather of self-growth and healing. For me, this is a welcome change. It is not a happy story nor an overly sad cry-fest, but rather a very grounded and bittersweet narrative. Yuyi struggles to admit her identity (as a lesbian) and the ways in which this affects here are clearly shown and communicated in all scenes effectively.

The more emotional scenes are powerful and my favorite parts of the game. Thanks to not only a solid script but because they are so realistic and relatable. Yuyi’s struggles to articulate her identity to Yile will easily resonate with experiences of queer readers. I will not spoil the ending but it appropriately matches the somber tone of the story and is simultaneously hopeful and saddening.

I did have a few issues with the game. Some of these complaints are small, a few typos, a few places where the word choice could have been a bit better (is my English teacher side showing?). I also found what I can only assume to have been a mistake due to negligence where name cards such as “female student” and “male student” were still written in Chinese rather than being translated like the others. Additionally, while the English translation is mostly excellent there were a few terms that did not work as a direct translation into the language, such as “Sis Tutor.”

This character, Sis Tutor, is actually part of my biggest complaint. She and Yuyi share a difficult past together which is hinted at but not explicitly stated and explained until the final act of the game. This trope would be fine if it was not for the fact the story is told through Yuyi’s perspective and we hear her thoughts! This made the hints about her past unbearable and annoying. When you show the thoughts of the character with a hidden pass it does not work! It breaks immersion, as one can clearly see the writers’ attempt to contort the narrative of human thoughts as they clumsily build suspense to the big reveal. And it is a good (if obvious) reveal too, giving context to the actions of Yuyi, there is no need for it to be so hamfistedly teased.

Lingua Fleur: Lily’s CG artwork has a nice soft pastel look to it, with a serene hand-drawn quality to them. The artist was easily able to transfer the personality of the characters and the emotion of the script into the CG artwork, making them add to the experience. There is even one simple but stylistic animation. However, the CGs are inconsistent, with some being of clearly higher quality than others. Additionally, some of the choices for the CGs placement are questionable. Parts of the story were crying out for a nice piece of accompanying art but resources were put into other scenes which frankly did not need them.

The character sprite’s share soft design of the CGs but often, unfortunately, have an unpolished look to them. They also clash horribly against some of the backgrounds, leading to a clear cutout effect that regularly took me out of the experience. Their design, however, is quite nice, especially Yile, who is downright adorable. There is also some great employment of lateral movement and strategic zooming on characters, some of the best I have ever seen, and certainly, the most fluid, helping to illustrate the story.

The soundtrack of Lingua Fleur proves that a score does not have to be bombastic and overly complex to be successful. Indeed, the music was one of the highlights of my experience. Oli Jan and Sorane created twelve original tracks for the visual novel each of which I adored as I played through. Often they employ just a simple melody and maybe a few delicate strings or woodwinds, creating an excellent somber and soft backdrop that perfectly complimented the game. I was greatly enjoying it right up until the finale when I fell in love.

During the game’s climax the track ‘La Robe’ plays and MY GOD!! I was struck dumb by how perfect the track was, I was at a loss for words (a rare occurrence I can assure you). It keeps the same simple style as the rest of the soundtrack but was just… stupendous. The song is triumphant, delicate, intricate, and hopeful. The victorious crescendo reached its peak at the perfect point in the story I swear I applauded. I could easily extend this review another few paragraphs filled with nothing but adjectives about this song. If you do not get the game for the love of all things gay in this world at least give the soundtrack a listen! It is a whirlwind of emotions that perfectly encapsulates the relief and sorrow felt by Yuyi in the bittersweet conclusion. It is a special thing for a piece to convey so much.

Lingua Fleur: Lily is an imperfect but meaningful journey. It does not conform to the genre standers of destined lovers and soulmates but is rather a gentle and ordinary story of healing, grief, and friendship. While it lacks artistic polish and jaw-dropping prose the emotion and humanism of the game reverberate within me. Lingua Fleur is a lovely, simple, and bittersweet experience.

I also appreciate that Narrator and Storia have promised new content for the game in the form of DLC. Lingua Fleur: Lily is available now on Steam in English and Chinese.

Ratings: Story – 7 Characters – 6 Art – 4 Voice – 6 Music – 10 LGBTQ – 5 Lewdness – 0 Final – 6

Review copy provided by Narrator and STORIA

Help create yuri and LGBTQ+ content, news, and reviews by supporting on the YuriMother Patreon

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

What is the “Greatest Country on Earth™?“

I mean this objectively.  Out of ~200 nations, one of them has to be undeniably better than the rest.  If we make a sortable list, one has to be on top, just as certainly as one has to be on bottom,  So, which country is the all around best?

I can tell you for absolutely certain it is NOT the United States; sure, we’re economically best, every other country relies on us for trade, but something like 99% of all the money is controlled by so few individuals that they could all fit in one of those crappy rental limos that high schoolers get their parents to splurge on for Prom Night.  Income inequality has never been worse, minimum wage been stagnant for almost 10 years, and nobody can afford a home.  “America” is rich, but “Americans” aren’t.  So that ain’t great.

The Democracy Index lists the top ten most politically stable and democratically active countries as Norway, Iceland, Sweden, New Zealand. Finland, Ireland, Denmark, Canada, Australia, and Switzerland,  I happen to know for a fact that Canada, Australia and New Zealand are super racist, just like their dear old dad the British Empire (and their cousin, America); Canadians hate the indigenous, New Zealand hates the Maori, Australia hates the aboriginals.  They’ve taken a page out of Andrew Jackson’s playbook to genocide the problem away then punish he stragglers to make their lives as hard as possible.  So that’s not great.  Scandinavia seems nice, but I’ve had my heart broke too many times to take them at face value.  If it seems too good to be true, it probably is.  Let’s go further.

Breaking down the Democracy Index, we get different leaders based on criteria:

Electoral Process and Pluralism: elections are free and fair, and there are multiple views being discussed.  Nine countries get a perfect score of 10.00; Ireland, Australia, New Zealand, Norway, Iceland, Finland, Luxembourg, Uruguay, and Denmark [for reference, the US got a 9.17]

Functioning of Government: can it collect taxes and spend them on stuff that’s useful?  No country gets a perfect score, but the three highest are Norway, Canada, and Sweden with 9.64 each. [for reference, the US got a 7.14]

Political Participation: can people vote, and do they?  Only Norway gets a perfect 10.00.  The next five are trailing behind; New Zealand, Iceland, Finland, Israel, and the United Kingdom each score 8.89. [for reference, the US got a 7.78]

Political Culture: how invested are the people and the government in the right to vote?  We get perfect 10.00s from Norway, Iceland, Sweden, and Ireland [for reference, the US got a 7.50]

Civil Liberties: how free are you?  How oppressive is your government?  Ireland, Australia, and New Zealand get perfect 10.00s [for reference, the US got an 8.24]

From this, we can glean that Ireland seems pretty great.  But they’re wrapped up in the aftermath of Brexit; there’s a non-zero chance that the Troubles could start back up again if they put a hard border between Ireland and Northern Ireland, which would be HORRIBLE.  That’s not on them necessarily, it’s just as much if not more on the UK government (British Tories see the Irish as subhuman; Boris Johnson wants to wipe them out, put them in his slave mines with the Syrian refugees and Jeremy Corbyn’s corpse).

The World Happiness Report lists the top 10 happiest countries as Finland, Denmark, Norway, Iceland, the Netherlands, Switzerland, Sweden, New Zealand, Canada, and Austria.  These too can be broken down into further criteria:

GDP Per Capita: a country’s total wealth divided by its population (this is not as indicative as it sounds; a higher GDP doesn’t mean you see a single extra cent from your job.  Countries with the highest GDPs have the largest wealth gaps, and are middle of the road when it comes to happiness.  The top 10 are Qatar, Luxembourg, Singapore, United Arab Emirates. Ireland, Norway, Switzerland, United Sates of America, and Saudi Arabia.

Social Support: how much does the country care for its citizens?  Top 10 are Iceland, Finland, Norway, Denmark, New Zealand, Ireland, Australia, the United Kingdom (normal so far), then Turkmenistan and Mongolia!  Turkmenistan is a military dictatorship run by a man who likes to watch horses fuck.  I think he may be over-reporting how much aid he’s giving out to the people.

Health Life Expectancy: the 10 most medically modernized countries are Singapore, Hong Kong, Japan, Spain, Switzerland, France, Northern Cyprus (which is under Turkish occupation), regular Cyprus, Canada, and Italy

Freedom to Make Life Choices: this sounds like something the US should excel at; Freedom and Liberty are our favorite catchphrases!  But no, in practice we’re not even close to the top of the barrel.  The top 10 are Uzbekistan (former Soviet Republic), Cambodia (one-party dictatorship), Norway, the United Arab Emirates, Finland, Denmark, Iceland, New Zealand, Canada, and Sweden.  Turns out maybe “freedom” means “no rules, all anarchy” in some countries, and hey, more power to them.  For reference, the United States is in the middle of the list, between Peru, Botswana, the UK, and Japan.

Generosity: do unto others, as the saying goes.  Turns out the richest countries are the least generous.  Whoodathunkit?  The 10 most generous countries are Myanmar, Indonesia, Haiti, Malta, Kenya, Bhutan, Kuwait, Thailand, Iceland, and the UK.

Perceptions of Corruption: does your government have it’s hand in the cookie jar?  The top 10 least corrupt are Singapore, Rwanda, Denmark, Finland, New Zealand, Sweden, Switzerland, Norway, Luxembourg, and Ireland.  For reference, the US is down low, between Saudi Arabia, Jordan, Nicaragua, and Iran.

The Human Development Index lists the top 10 developed nations as Norway, Switzerland, Ireland, Germany, Hong Kong, Iceland, Australia, Sweden, Singapore, and the Netherlands.  The US sits pretty at 15, though this index just shows that we have running water, electricity, and roads; while we are technologically developed on the country-wide scale, the closer you look, the less this technology helps those at the lower levels.  Poor people are still poor, still have lead in the water, still lack access to good food.  The US is considered a considered a developing nation in that regard.

Ireland, New Zealand, and Switzerland get passing scores on all four of the freedom indices (Freedom in the World, Index of Economic Freedom, Press Freedom Index, and Democracy Index); they’re both socially and economically free, their press is in a good situation, and they’re full democracies.  Good on them.  Australia is socially and economically free, a full democracy, but their press’s situation is only “satisfactory,” a step down from “good.”  Denmark, Finland, Germany, Netherlands, Norway, Sweden, Costa Rica, and Portugal are socially free, their press is good, they’re full democracies, but they are economically “mostly free.”  For the record, the United States is socially free, only mostly economically free, our press is satisfactory, and we are a flawed democracy (this puts us on par with Taiwan, Lithuania, Latvia, South Korea, the Czech Republic, and Cyprus)

And finally we have the Corruption Perceptions Index.  As of 2020, the lest corrupt countries are New Zealand, Denmark, Finland, Sweden, Switzerland, Singapore, Norway, Netherlands, Luxembourg, and Germany.

Taking into account the various indices, Norway tops almost every list followed by Iceland, Ireland, and New Zealand.  If we can get over he racism (that’s gonna be a major hurdle), I think it’s safe to say that we have our three finalists.  Norway and Iceland are tied or first, with Ireland a close second.  I’m more inclined to favor Ireland because they’ve been helping out the Choctaw Tribe back in the US during the coronavirus, in repayment for their help during the great potato famine; Good Guy Ireland, pays his debts, helps his friends, has a mutual fucking hatred for WASP bastards.

Ireland appears to be the greatest place to live.

Now burst my bubble, because I know it’s coming.  Tell me the bad news, rip off this band-aid nice and quick.

[snailhoard]

Electric Scooter Benefits - Should You Buy One As Well As Are They Worth It?

The ongoing long run of the personal transportation industry looks bright with the accelerated growth in the use of electric scooters across the unitedstates streets together with in the United Kingdom. Their popularity has attained major landmarks in recent years using Uber teaming up with Lime to produce the scooters out there for lease through their program.

This really is an immense investment deal designed to further improve the prevalence of the scooters in US, Europe and around the world. Electric scooters are absolutely beneficial for the environment in general, but they have never yet been welcomed with open arms everyone, as a few view them because a dangerous method of transportation. Not to only to the riders, but however to pedestrians as well.

However, in modern years, electric scooters have been my main goto, to traveling around the town. They are now my favorite and also I simply enjoy driving e-scooters.

Just how Great Are Electronic Scooters and Why Are They Really the Future?

Now, tens of thousands of electric scooter suppliers will work towards creating and improving fresh functions that add a border of convenience to riders. There are several reasons why many people across the globe tend to be towards electric scooters on fuel-controlled kinds. Ninebot could be your best scooters and ninebot lately launched a new variant which is Ninebot es4. Lots of men and women now need to know the difference between ninebot es2 vs es4. In contrast to the ES2 version, ES4 comes with a higher top rate of 5 more km/h, a lot additional mileage from 1 battery charge -- by 15 kilometers, additional maximum electricity by 200 W, a possible rise angle by 5 degrees. And course, thanks to an even capacious battery, ES4 significantly greater than just a half kilograms weightier.

Are They Really Good for Commuting?

Inside my opinion, entirely. Electric-scooters have many benefits! They have a

Slender design and style and so are packed with features that make for a worry-free ride

Any surface.

Benefits of All Electric Scooters

A Excellent Alternate to gas-fueled bikes

They truly are cheap in price, what's more, that you never need gas to journey them since they operate on battery. Environmentally conscious? Electric Scooters certainly are a fantastic choice.

Permit prerequisites

Electric scooters aren't super-fast. With medium rates, they truly have been easy to get a grip on. Which is the reason why they don't really expect a license for ride.

Compactness

As a result of these slim style, electric scooters are all suitable to journey in visitors. Whether there really are any troubles with the motor, chain or bicycle, they are easily fixed at a closeby garage.

Safety

Electric scooters possess lots of security functions. From the comfort of hand operated immersion control to easily available rare-wheel brakes. More than a few of these possess taillights too.

Straightforward to Keep

Electric scooters are simple to keep, because of this sturdy material they are made with. Their layout is not as challenging being acar -- you only have 3 leading parts to take into account and so they have been the engine, the battery life and the controller. TheScooterGuide could be your optimal/optimally place to choosing the terrific advice in regards to the gap among segway es2 vs es4.

Parking relaxation

As they are so compact, discovering parking is quite simple. Maybe not exactly that, in the event you really don't need to park it to the street, but you could also take it with you to regions.

Price

Electric motor scooters have been budget-friendly and are available at various price details.

Environmentally friendly

It is not a surprise this will emerge first as electric scooters were designed together using the surroundings in mind. With all the growing cases of international warming and climate change there's been an even more significant point to embrace ecological friendly services and products and also the electric scooter has really been a terrific thought. Automobiles as means of transportation supply gases which add to pollution. Electric scooter transportation will help in decreasing carbon emissions and is still an eco friendly way of transport.

Less traffic

Most electric scooters are portable. If your scooter breaks or runs from charge its simple to carryout. Many are foldable, which usually means you may certainly put 1 from the back of your car, or carry it on people transportation.

They are Light

Electric scooters have been budget-friendly and can be purchased at various price points.

No permit required

Electric scooters are easy to use. You don't need to go through a driving college to acquire a license because it's maybe not a requirement so for you to have you. This also helps you to save cost since you do not need to often renew a license and pay for insurancecoverage.

No noise pollution

Electric motor scooters are extremely silent. Our streets are filled with loud vehicles which are a nuisance to lots of men and women. Electric scooters help to reduce this noise contamination on our roads.

Functional everywhere

Electric motor scooters are available just about everywhere and are a superb option for commuters who need to traveling a short distance immediately. You will find a few places a car cannot move but the scooter can. With a scooter its own easier to choose short cut routes and help you save time. Various studies have shown that an electric scooter could cause one to your destination over 20% quicker than a typical bicycle bike.