#not that she'd really have a reason to hate me but I wouldn't blame her for being done entirely at this point

[ffive-by-fivee]

what about m?

I can't believe someone on tumblr.com is still invested in this story in the year 2023 aasfdjklgjdf

We haven't spoken in almost a year. I tried so hard for almost a decade to make things work but I think the reality is that neither one of us was what the other person needed. We're just very different people and love in very different ways and the fact of the matter is that I was growing and she was staying in the same place. I still sometimes get sad or mad that we weren't able to salvage a friendship out of so much history, maybe one day. I have a lot of feelings about everything, some bad some good, and I'm still in the process of sorting through it all and healing. The way things turned out really fucking sucks but I wish her nothing but the best

[sassypossumm]

I Trust You....

A little bit of Coach!Miggy angst to mix it up (I'm so sorry!) CW: infidelity

Miguel's heart sank when he heard the sink running in the kitchen. 

He'd really been hoping you'd still be asleep. 

As quietly as possible, he eased the door shut, cursing when the hinges creaked. 

"Miguel?" 

He groaned inwardly and closed the door. 

"Yeah, it's me." He took a deep breath, and slowly walked into the kitchen. By the looks of how clean everything was, you'd been up for hours. Glancing over your shoulder you took in his disheveled appearance and turned back to turn off the water. 

"You're just getting in." 

"Yeah..." He scratched the back of his head and leaned against the door frame, hoping and praying you weren't wise to him yet. 

Wishful thinking. 

"Go take a shower, Miguel," You dried the last dish. "You still smell like her." His stomach dropped to his feet. 

You knew. 

"Okay." He said simply, shuffling to the bathroom with heavy steps. Of course you knew. He grumbled to himself as he stripped and threw his clothes in the hamper. Somehow you always knew what he was up to. There were times Miguel paused to ask himself who the covert spy really was, you or him? Sighing heavily, he turned the water on and stepped wearily into the shower, closing his eyes. Breathing in the steam, he ran his hand over his face. 

"What am I doing with my life?" He muttered, reaching for the body wash. The one you'd gotten him for Christmas. The one that you claimed made him smell woodsy. The first time he'd used it, you'd shown him just how enthusiastically you liked it. Miguel smiled faintly at the warm memory. You'd both needed a shower, something he hadn't complained about in the least. The smile slipped when he thought about the context of the shower he was currently taking. 

"The call sounded urgent, babe." Miguel had said as he pulled on his jacket. You'd folded your arms and snorted. 

"Oh, I'll bet it did." You'd said wryly. "She's probably urgently wanting you to bone her." Miguel couldn't argue with that logic, it wouldn't be the first time since the divorce Dana had called him under such pretenses. And before he'd met you, Miguel had happily indulged his ex, and on occasion it had been he who'd called her. 

"She was pretty insistent this was about some legal papers, the divorce or alimony." He shook his head. "I don't remember exactly." You'd sighed and wrapped your arms around his neck. 

"I trust you, Miggy." 

The shower head started squealing in protest from the water pressure. Miguel snapped back to the present and lathered his hair. It was a lame excuse he knew, but it just sort of happened. He hadn't had any intention of waking up in his ex-wife's bed. But one drink turned into four, and Dana had gotten handsy, going on about how lonely she was and how much she'd missed him. 

And he'd caved. Like the wuss he was, he'd caved. Scrubbing his scalp to the point of pain, Miguel cursed himself for what felt like the fiftieth time since he'd woken up two hours ago, wrapped up in a woman that clearly hadn't been you. He hated himself. He was a total dick, and he knew he wouldn't blame you if you left. After thoroughly scrubbing Dana's scent from his skin, he turned off the shower, and toweled dry, prolonging the inevitable. 

It wasn't a conversation he wanted to have, but he knew that you had the right to let him have it. And somewhere deep inside, Miguel hoped against hope that you wouldn't be calm and reasonable. He prayed that you'd yell at him, throw something, anything but that calculated stare you got when you shut down. Pulling a worn shirt over his head, Miguel sighed heavily and trudged back into the living room to find you sitting on the couch, reading a book. He cleared his throat. You didn't look up. 

He shuffled further into the room and perched tentatively on one of the armchairs and clasped his hands in front of him, waiting for you to deign to look at him. After a long agonizing silence, you did look up. And his heart jumped into his throat. Impassive and neutral would describe your features best. Not a sliver of anger in sight. 

"Y/N..." You held up a hand. 

"Please don't tell me it didn't mean anything, Miguel." He opened his mouth to respond, but quickly shut it when you gave him that firm look that told him he was in trouble. "It meant something. The question is, what did it mean to you, Miguel?" He drew a blank and stared at you. He tried to form an answer, but none came. 

What had it meant to him? 

"I didn't say no." He said woodenly. You hummed. 

"Yes, that much is evident. But why? You could've come home. You could've walking away, but you didn't. The question is why? Why did you break my trust?" A shiver ran down Miguel's spine at how unnervingly calm and levelheaded you were being. 

"Because I was thinking with my dick." He began. 

"And..." You raised a brow. 

"I didn't want to leave." He finished slowly, letting out a deep breath. You hummed and picked up the book again. Miguel looked at you expectantly, waiting for... he wasn't certain what he was waiting for. "I'm sorry." 

"I know." You flipped the page. Miguel sighed and looked down at his hands. 

"Are you going to say anything else?" He muttered, looking up at you. "I slept with another woman, Y/N." 

"I'm aware of that." You said casually. 

"You're aware, and you're acting like we're deciding where to order take out from!" He ran a hand through his hair, exasperated. 

"You broke my trust, Miguel." You closed the book and set it aside. "You put your dick in another woman." He winced at your candid description. "You fucked another woman. You pumped and sweat for another woman. A woman that wasn't me." You looked at him coldly. "What do you want me to say, Migs?" You slipped, using his nickname.

"I don't know." He slumped back in the chair, defeated. 

"You caved to a basal instinct. We're not frogs, Miguel. You made a conscious choice. And I'm dissapointed, and hurt." His heart twisted. Your calculated tone hurt more than any screaming or throwing vases ever could. "I love you dearly, but what you did was reprehensible." 

"I know. And I've got no excuse." He leaned forward, looking at you with desperate eyes. 

"You used each other like fleshlights. And that's disgusting." You spat. And Miguel took it. "Do you love her?" You looked at him, a brief sliver of vulnerability shining in your eyes. 

"Baby, no." He instinctively reached for you but pulled back when you flinched. "I love you." He kneeled in front of you. "You're the best thing that's ever happened to me." 

"Then act like it." You paused and took a deep breath. "I need space." You grumbled, grabbing your coat and storming out of the apartment.

[drac-kool-aid]

Y'know, something that gets me, is that in the book, Dracula's intentional predation of Lucy starts off with an accidental meeting. Sure, Lucy slept walked, and an argument could be made her path might have been supernaturally influenced, but I say she'd already been a known sleep-walker, and she went directly to a place she was familiar with.

Her stumbling onto Dracula's hiding spot in a very vulnerable state was just an accident, and from there, he intentionally set out to harm her, and through that, everyone around her he could get.

This is sort of related to Jonathan, too. Had Mr. Hawkins not come down with a bad case of gout, Jonathan wouldn't have been sent to Castle Dracula in his stead. Sure, Dracula probably would have had his fun with Hawkins before inevitably killing him, but I doubt he would have drawn it out so long or taken so much delight.

Dracula never sets out with a master-plan to attack Lucy or Jonathan. They just end up in his path and spark his interest. We know that if he isn't interested in you, he'll kill you. He'll, he breaks Mr. Swales neck doesn't even bite him. But the two victims he decides he's going to make suffer the longest he possibly can, he just stumbles upon and goes "oh this will be fun". Later, we see him start choosing victims as a way to retaliate, but for the two inciting incident victims upon which the rest of the story hangs...its just wrong place wrong time.

The reason this struck me is that I was misremembering. For some reason, which I now believe due to thinking about the *through gritted teeth* Coppola film, is that Lucy is sort of hand-picked by Dracula to be his victim. And yeah, the fucking film ain't subtle in its blaming of Lucy's victimization on the fact that she was Too Pretty and Too Flirtatious and Dracula psychically drew her into the garden in a flowing diaphanous dress, but it's really her fault....I hate this movie.

Like, i just read the films Wikipedia plot synopsis, Dracula "psychically seduces" Lucy before biting her. He chooses her out of everyone in England deliberately.

And just...no. That's not what happens. Lucy got so stressed from her wedding that her latent sleep walking started again. Mina gets so tired from the constant stress she falls asleep without meaning to. Lucy went to their favorite spot...Dracula just happened to be there and took advantage and both Lucy and Mina weren't floating along softly into a garden with a fan letting their hair blow, but cold, scared, and covered in mud and blood, and forced to sneak back to the house that way, facing not only the supernatural but the very ordinary horrors of being caught outside at night by a strange man.

Idk. The tragedy is that Dracula didn't set out to fuck with these people. It's just that they were the ones who crossed his path that he took an interest in, and he decided to draw it out as long as possible.

(Oh fuck, this is the crew of the Demeter too. It isn't like Draculas got some big plan. He just decides he's going to play with his food. Had he boarded any other ship it would have ended up the same way.)

I guess in conclusion, I find it odd that adaptions seem to need to find a reason for him doing what he does. Like, Coppola has to conjure up a whole reincarnation backstory at one point, but I don't understand why!! Let Dracula just be an opportunist, his casual cruelty knowing no reason. That makes him scarier.

[pleasingforharry]

I know it was headcannon but you should definitely explore y/n’s anxiety (panic attacks) more and how Harry learns to help her through them and how it makes him feel to have caused her to have one, idk I just have them too so it really made me feel seen

Of course! Let's do it.

-

college!harry x quiet!yn

-

Her hands leaked with sweat, so she rolled them down the fabric of her jeans. Her body was beaming hot, but also shivering from some unbeknownst cold. Her teeth bled into her lips. But after the wince of pain from her strength, she let them go with a puffed breath.

Fuck.

Y/N hated this. She hated when this happened. And as much as she wanted to curl into a ball in her boyfriend's arms, she couldn't. She shouldn't. She wouldn't. Especially because she didn't want him to know. Especially because she was embarrassed when it happened. Especially because she didn't want to be a disturbance. Especially because she didn't want to annoy him, to bother him, to anger him.

Especially because he was the reason she was feeling this way.

"Okay, I'm done with this. I'm leaving," Harry growled, storming for the door of Y/N's dorm. "I can't do this, right now."

"Fine then, fucking leave. Go!" Y/N barked back, but feeling the opposite up in her head. Wait no, don't leave. Stay!

"What do you think I'm doing?" Harry snapped at her over his shoulder. His steps were long, making their argument short.

"Being a stubborn asshole, is what you're doing." Y/N couldn't control the words that trickled out her mouth.

She was a whole different person when she was upset. And she'd pay for the consequences later.

"Me?" Harry scoffed, spinning around to face his girlfriend. "You're the one who's being stubborn."

"Don't fucking put this on me! This whole argument started because of you," Y/N shot back, her finger sharply pointing at him.

Harry wanted to explode. He needed to let his anger out, but not around Y/N. As much as he wanted her to see how upset she was making him, the best way for them to cool off is for them to have their space. To let everything out, but separately.

"Yeah, right. It's always me, huh?" He cocked his head to the side. "I didn't do shit. Don't—“

"Harry, are you for real? You literally—“

"I what? I was voicing my opinion? Yeah, that's exactly what the fuck I was doing!" Harry stopped her. "You're the one who made this bigger than it had to be."

"Me? Oh, classic. Blame me," Y/N laughed, falling back down on her couch. She was steaming out of her ears.

Harry fisted his hands and turned away again. "Yeah, I'm out. Fuck this, we're done."

We're done.

What?

Y/N didn't have time to ask him to elaborate before he was out the door and slamming it behind him. The girl was alone, her eyes widened and her body fell numb. Everything was blurring.

We're done? What does he mean by that?

Y/N shot up from her spot and planned to run after him, but something inside her froze. Her legs suddenly gave out, causing her hands to meet the floor. The beating of her heart sprinted from the sound of the gunshot starting the race.

"Wha—“ she gasped as her breath got caught in her throat. Her arms felt weak and began to shake as they tried to keep her up.

Y/N knew what was happening, and it was not what she needed right now. This wasn't the first time she experienced a panic attack, and it definitely wasn't going to be the last.

We're done.

Y/N fell back on her butt to sit down. That's when her body started to heave and the sweating/shivering began. Her hands quivered as they ran through her hair. She wanted to cover her mouth to silence her heavy breathing, not wanting to disturb anyone in the halls.

"Fuck, Y/N, calm... calm," she whispered to herself, shutting her eyes tightly. She gripped the couch beside her and squeezed the cushion. Her mouth and nose worked together to pace her breathing, but it was no use. She couldn't calm down.

Fuck. She needed the one person she couldn't call for help.

Y/N fluttered her eyes open and searched her room. "Plants," she sighed. "There’s… uh a desk chair. Plants, desk—uh… desk chair. Fuck." Her head was dizzy, and she couldn't focus on identifying another object. It was a method to help her push through her panic attack.

She tried again. "Plants, desk chair, uh... picture." It was a framed picture hanging on the wall of her and Harry at one of his soccer games. The team won and even though it was a simple game, as soon as the referee blew the whistle to finalize the score, Harry ran to his girlfriend on the team's bench.

He hauled her into his arms and hugged her. It was short and sweet because he knew eyes would be on them from Harry being a popular player on campus. And as much as he wanted them to see him love on his girlfriend, her tinted pink cheeks told him to wait until they were alone.

Y/N stared at the picture, trying to focus on remembering the feeling in the moment. But it didn't exactly help as she realized what happened minutes earlier between her and her boyfriend.

The girl fell back against the couch and let her eyes fall closed. Nothing was helping, so she simply accepted the panic. The rushed heart, the irregular temperature surging though her body, her chapped lips letting out stinging breaths.

Everything hurt.

"Baby, look at me. Open your eyes." Y/N thought her mind was trying to imagine her boyfriend with her, hoping it would help her panic attack. "Y/N, baby. Come on, let me see you." She felt feathery touches on her cheek and her thigh.

Y/N furrowed her eyebrows as her lids flicked up. She somehow gasped through her panicked breathing as she was met with a worried Harry. He was bent by her side, eyes wildly examining her.

He smiled when she looked at him. "Hey, there you go. Okay, can you sit up for me? Can you do that, baby?" Y/N stared blankly, letting out rasping breaths, but followed instructions.

Harry helped her sit up before he swiftly slithered behind her, him now leaning back against the couch. He tucked Y/N's shaking body against him and sighed.

"Alright, I got you. I always got you, babygirl," He found her ear to whisper in. Y/N's hand couldn't decide where to land as she was scared to touch him. And Harry noticed with a sad frown. "It's okay, you're okay." He slowly met his palms with hers before lacing their fingers together. Their intertwined hands wrapped around Y/N's front, holding her tightly.

"I'm—I can't... I'm trying... I can't—“ Y/N heaved out.

"Just breath, Y/N. Match me, okay?" Harry told her before slowing his breathing to a calming pace. Y/N nodding rapidly and attempted to copy him. "Good girl, baby."

Harry felt horrible, listening to his girlfriend struggle like that. But he's glad his Y/N instincts told him to turn back around and find her. He didn't expect to see her in that state, but all he knew was that he was going to get her out.

"Better," he whispered. "You're doing good, I'm so proud of you." Y/N was finally able to sigh, but not her racing heart. "Do you think you can do me a favor?"

"Wh-what?" Y/N hiccuped.

"Think you help me choose what we're gonna eat for lunch? I'm getting hungry? What should we have?"

Y/N bit her lip again as she thought about it. Harry rocked them slowly, giving her time to focus on his task.

"Um... P-pizza?" She said as a question. Harry hummed, at both her answer and slower breathing. "No pepperoni."

"Yeah, we don't like that, huh?" Harry chuckled against her ear, and she shook her head. "But I don't know. Will that fill us up? What else could we have?"

Y/N didn't realize she had relaxed her tense muscles and calmly fell into her boyfriend's chest.

"We.. we-we liked the pasta at uh... that place next to the pet shop," Y/N said.

"Yeah, I forgot what I got. Do you remember?"

"Mhm," she nodded. "You got angel hair Alfredo. But then it was actually spicy, and your tongue was on fire." Y/N laughed softly. Harry smiled so wide and let it press against the back of her head.

"Good girl, that's right. We had to switch our plates and I had yours, right? You loved mine."

Y/N realized how hard she was squeezing Harry's hand, so she let them go. But Harry immediately grabbed them and laced them together.

"I just want to hold you, baby. Is that okay? Is this too much?" He asked her.

"No."

"Good, I love holding you. You make me so happy, Y/N," Harry whispered to her. "But you know what will make me happier?"

Y/N wiggled in her spot. "What?"

"Your smile."

She blinked, growing shy. Harry chuckled and assisted her to turn to her side. He finally saw her face, softly guiding her chin to face him.

Y/N looked at her boyfriend, only him noticing that she was back. Her body was calm and warm, and safe in his arms.

She sniffled quietly. "What did you mean when you said we're done? Like done done?"

Harry's eyes widened, before shutting as he cursed.

"No, baby. Not at all," he kissed her cheek. "Never, you can't get rid of me. Sorry."

Y/N chuckled, rolling her lips inward.

"I meant, we're done arguing. I hate when we do and I left so we could get some space to cool down, you know?" Harry explained while plucking her lip free. Y/N sighed at his words with a nod.

"Oh okay."

"And I'm sorry for putting you through that. It's my fault," his voice turned soft. "I never want my baby to feel that way. You're too special to me." Y/N smiled, it growing wider.

Harry leaned forward to grasp her lips with his. Their kiss was soft and slow, exactly how he wanted her breathing to be. And she was back. And safe.

"I love you, baby. So so, fucking much," Harry said against their lips. He lifted his girlfriend up so she could turn to face him completely and straddle him. "I'm sorry. Next time, we cool off together. Okay?"

Y/N nodded and kissed him. "Okay. And I love you too."

Harry smiled drunk-like. Dimples. "I can't believe I get to hear you say that to me." Y/N laughed quietly, before wrapping her arms around him and hiding in his neck.

-

[apocalypseornaw]

Don't Blame Me (Pt 3/5)

Dean Winchester x Reader

Dean confronts Crowley who recounts exactly what did happen to you, sparing no details to Dean's horror. You look for a way to ward yourself from Dean finding you.

Dean was half in shock when you blinked out. You were alive? When he looked at Crowley he knew the anger he felt showed in his eyes because the demon took a step back even before Dean grabbed him, slamming him back into a wall. "BRING HER BACK"

Crowley shook his head slowly "I didn't send her a way and I try not to summon her. She gets upset, it causes a mess. She killed ten demons the first time I summoned her and let's just say I like keeping her as calm as possible"

Dean shook his head before pulling the demon blade up to hold the point against Crowleys neck "Last time I saw her she was getting on a plane. What the fuck did you do to her?" Crowley laughed sharply "What did I do? Squirrel you should really ask what did you do?"

Dean's grip loosened at Crowleys words "What do you mean what Dean did?" Sam asked as Crowley untangled himself from Dean's grasp. Crowleys eyes were on Dean when he said "She made a deal. I didn't go after her soul. It was already in hell"

Dean shook his head "She wouldn't. Y/N knows the risks" Crowley shrugged "and yet she did for you" "for me?" Dean asked and Crowley sighed "This is dramatic. Her soul already went to hell so contract fulfilled. She's gonna try to kill me but.." before Dean or Sam could ask Crowley touched two fingers to Dean's forehead. Flashes of an Okami, pain of claws ripping into his chest and the heartbreaking sound of your sobs tore through Dean's head.

"She couldn't face losing you so she made a deal. Be glad I took over when I did. Lucifer and his flunkies were having fun with your girl" "She wouldn't agree to be a demon" Sam argued but Crowley shrugged "A little over four hundred years of torture. A hundred of those were under Lucifer and Zachariah. She's stronger than most of the souls in hell but the things they did to her.." he trailed off and Dean could feel his jaw clench with anger even before Crowley met his eyes "No angelic interference for her, guess she wasn't important enough. I needed an attack dog. Someone who if they were spotted working at my side the threats were taken seriously"

"So you've been using her?" Sam asked. Crowley scoffed "I gave her freedom from the racks. I put her body back together so she'd have it. I made sure to keep her off the angels radar. I've gotten her to kill a few dozen demons but nothing she wouldn't have done in life. How the hell have I been using her? Would you two prefer me to have left her to an eternity of whatever being decided to plunge a blade or other things into her?"

Dean swallowed down the bile in his throat at Crowleys words and the images that accompanied them to ask "Why didn't she let me know?"  and Crowley laughed again "Did you not see that little performance? She was afraid you'd hate her so she stayed off the beaten path" "Then why did you bring her here tonight?" Sam demanded.

"She's wrong for lack of better terms. She shouldn't care like she still does, shouldn't have so much left of her human personality. Her soul was stronger than I gave it credit for. If she stays a demon she's gonna e a threat to my throne" Dean swung without thinking and connected a hard punch to Crowleys jaw "You've kept her from me for years, YEARS. and now you're only telling me so she can't dethrone you? The only reason I'm not killing you is so you can help me find her"

Ireland, Scotland, Australia, New Zealand and South America. It was hard to find a coven that would play well with a demon, let alone one marked by the king of hell as his right hand woman but you finally did. 

You sat in the middle of the circle, watching the woman paint sigils onto your skin. Once she was done she rejoined the circle. You sat silently as they chanted, the sigil glowing then absorbing into your skin. You looked at the head witch "No one can summon me now?" She nodded "Your boss can probably still get a feed on where you are but no one can summon you" you paid her the fee and thanked the rest of the coven before blinking out. You were back in Washington state, almost at the Canadian line. 

-------------

You had a cabin there, somewhere you stayed when Crowley didn't need you at his side. Somewhere you were able to ignore everything that had happened. You weren't right as a demon. They weren't supposed to feel, weren't supposed to care yet here you were. 

------------

You washed your face then looked at yourself in the mirror letting your eyes slip to black. Even as a demon you were held together by paperclips and rubber bands. The memory of the look on Dean's face flashed through your head and you smashed the mirror. What the hell were you supposed to do now?

@lacilou @suckitands33 @lyarr24 @decadentstrangernacho @nix-rose @irgendwas122 @deans-baby-momma @deans-spinster-witch @tas898 @starkleila

[genericpuff]

no but listen, rachel has truly embodied herself as persephone because she's constantly trying to "distance herself" from her past as a medical fetish artist but then keeps the name that's affiliated with her medical fetish art-

Like, I can't believe I never noticed it before tbh, but that was the thought that hit me while I was explaining to someone on reddit what the name "used bandaid" meant and why it was weird that Rachel is STILL using it on her print cover books, even now when she just recently set up a new Facebook account with her REAL NAME and not the used_bandaid penname (I feel like this is an attempt to "legitimize" herself in the industry but idk).

But that leads me into talking about how she keeps lying about LO being her first webcomic project and that really pisses me off. And yes, this is related to the used_bandaid thing, just bear with me here.

A lot of my contempt for this is for reasons that go beyond her, I just hate the notion that people should succeed on their "first try" and that's an idea that's often sold by people like Rachel who spin these grandiose stories of how they were just "trying it out" and suddenly wham! Fame and fortune! You can achieve all this and more if you just xyz!

Literally, in every interview I've found over the past couple years, she always heavily implies that LO was her "first attempt", that she had never used Webtoons prior to LO, and that she was just "dipping her toes" into the medium. None of this is true, she's literally been drawing webcomics since the early 2000's (possibly earlier but the earliest documentation we can find is of The Doctor Pepper Show), LO wasn't even her first webcomic on the Webtoons platform (that goes to The Doctor Foxglove Show which she ended up dumping a chapter in to work on LO almost immediately after starting it on Tumblr) and as much as she'll claim she "couldn't pay anyone to look at her work", she had landed a number of gigs that got her work out there, had been printed in anthology collections, and IIRC she had even won some small local NZ awards for her comics prior to LO. Shit, there was a local beer brand that had her art on its labelling.

But it really feels like she's trying her damn hardest to hide all that, never mentioning or implying that she did anything prior to LO, that she was just a "struggling graphic artist working in retail" until LO happened.

So why keep the penname that's directly affiliated with that past identity ??

It boggles my mind, honestly, especially considering she had gone by MULTIPLE usernames back then, some of which were actually pretty sane that she could have used instead (such as Rach Alex, which she uses in her FB groups, and Rachel Royale).

I wouldn't blame her if she was trying to hide her old medical fetish stuff, whether she didn't want it affiliated with her new LO branding or if she's just embarrassed by it, I can totally empathize with that because god knows I wouldn't be all that proud to show off the cringy shit I got up to during my early days on the Internet. But if she IS embarrassed by it, you'd think the last thing she'd want to keep is the name that's directly affiliated with the thing she's embarrassed by. Almost like a certain pink protagonist who goes by the name she earned after doing the thing she doesn't want to talk about.

But if she ISN'T embarrassed by it, then why lie?

Why paint this picture that LO was a one hit wonder, that she lived on "struggle street" until she found fame and fortune on Webtoons?

Oh right. Because it's a better story.

Because it's way more romantic to be some struggling indie darling who "came from nothing" and achieved fame through one big idea. Because it looks good for the platform who's trying to attract people to their app and website on the promise that you, too, can be a success story simply because you followed the exact same perceived steps that you saw another person follow and advertise.

If you can't tell from my tone, I really fucking hate this kind of disingenuous wish fulfillment advertising. It's manipulative, it's cruel, and it sets people up with expectations far beyond their scope of reaching, both due to the luck and "being in the right place at the right time" involved at best (which is a HUGE factor in stories like these that people never talk about), or through joy-killing comparison at worst when you don't achieve worldwide fame on your first try and wonder why everyone else did (spoiler: they didn't, they just want you to think that because it makes for better headlines and it gets you using whatever product they're affiliated with.)

If Rachel doesn't want to be tied down to her past, that's fine. But it's incredibly irresponsible and flat out cruel to lie about that past existing at all because it sets a horrible precedent to those who look up to her and want what she has.

And I say all that because I've seen what happens to the people starting out who admire these creators who painted the picture that they were just successful right off the bat. It's not a fun headspace to be in, it's robbed many creators like myself and others of their joy in creating, and it's really all just a ploy to get you to spend time and money and energy on a stupid corporate phone app that profits off your emotional investment and labor. Don't fall for it. Pretending like the Act of Wrath didn't happen doesn't remove it from history.

Anyways, I was gonna leave it at that, but then I ended up doing another rabbithole deep dive through her Wayback Machine and found album art she had illustrated for NZ band PorcelainToy. Enjoy this piece of her "dark era" art that still exists without needing to use the Wayback Machine.

[the-offside-rule]

Charles Leclerc (Scuderia Ferrari) - I Know You Hate Me

Requested: via wattpad

Warnings: arguing mainly

"Oh and there's a yellow flag in sector 2 and it appears to be the Ferrari of Charles Leclerc and the Alfa Romeo of Y/n Y/l/n." Y/n hit her steering wheel repeatedly in frustration. What was up with that Monegasque?! After her moment of anger, she took her steering wheel out before hopping out herself. "Y/n! What the fuck?!" he yelled. Charles didn't even give her the light of day and made his way to the medical car while Y/n opted to get a lift on the motorcycle. It didn't take too long but when she got back, oh she had some words to throw about. "No Y/n." She turned her head to her PR standing with a recorder at the ready. "No what? I wasn't going to do anything." she muttered. "I know what you're like. Just stay calm, no matter what is said." Y/n rolled her eyes and nodded. "Yeah fine." Her PR left the room before having to come back in.

"Y/n?" her PR said. "Yeah?"

"You have a visitor-" before she could even finish her sentence, she heard the door get slammed. "Y/n! What the hell?!" Y/n snapped her head around to a barking Charles. "Charles, can you go outside-"

"No, no. It's fine. Let him speak. I'll meet you out in the media pen." Y/n said reassuringly to her PR before she took her leave and left Y/n and Charles to talk and by that, I mean Charles rambling on over and over again about how irresponsible Y/n was for not letting him by, and Y/n having the replay on her TV just to provoke him. She nearly laughed a few times at how easily he could be wound up. "Can you stop blaming me for that crash? You turned in on me." she chuckled before returning to her phone. "It may not have occurred to you, but those blue flags mean you have to move out of the way!" Charles snarled. "I did move! You can't exactly miss my car Charles, it's white and red!" Charles rolled his eyes. "I think I'd know if you moved out of the way."

"Well the replay is on the screen so go ahead and look at it pretty boy!" she snarled. Charles laughed hysterically. "You are so fucking frustrating! I hate you!" Y/n lowered her phone a little and looked him up and down before smirking. "Oh really? Do say it again." he clenched his jaw and uttered "I hate you" with venom to his tone. "You don't hate me, I've known you since karting Charles and you don't hate me." Charles knotted his brows in confusion. "What do you mean?"

Y/n laughed as if he'd just told her a joke. "You're serious? It's so obvious!" He was beyond confused at this point. "I still don't follow." Y/n groaned and began explaining. The more she explained, the more it made sense and Charles began to doubt himself. What if that was the reason he'd been so narky with her? "And for that very reason Charlie boy, I think you love me." She was of course teasing, she'd been making it up to wound him up but Charles was thinking now. "How did you come up with that?" Charles asked. "I can read you as clearly as I can read my instagram feed. You love me, you want to kiss me." Y/n replied simply. Charles smirked and decided to join in on the teasing. He got up from his chair and walked painfully slow towards her. Y/n shifted in her seat as he got ever so much closer. What was he up to? "You think you're smart don't you princesse," he purred. She gulped down hard upon hearing his raspy voice. "You think you know me inside and out but you don't even know yourself all that well because no matter how much you deny it, you can never truthfully say you wouldn't want to kiss me back." Y/n found herself as red at Charles' race suit.

She became a stuttering mess as Charles leaned in even closer an decked her cheek. "We'll see how long you can deny the idea of my lips on yours, maybe even something else-" her breath hitched before the moment was ruined by her PR knocking at the door. "You two alright in there?" Y/n let out her breath and watched as Charles walked towards the door. "Y-yeah! We're just finished talking now." Y/n stuttered as Charles grabbed the door handle and grinned a boyish schoolboy grin before uttttering the words

"Let the games begin princesse."

[lavender-storm]

I need you here

summary | Theo drunkenly confesses, but it's hard to believe him.

pairing | Theo Nott x fem!reader

warning | drunk Theo, probably grammar mistakes

word count | 1k

a/n: Please let me know what you think, I hope you enjoy! Have a lovely day xx

I just wanted to let you know, that this is a side blog, so unfortunately I can't reply to your comments, but I see them all! I appreciate it so much, you have no idea how happy your comments make me! ♥️

He's wasted. That's why he's saying these things, no other reason. If he were sober, he wouldn't dare to say words like this, especially not to Y/N. So this is only happening because he's so drunk, he can't even sit by himself. But Y/N doesn't try to shut him up. How could she? The words coming from his lips caress her whole skin like a soft feather, the loopy smile on his face warms her heart. She'd be lying if she said she's not enjoying whatever is happening.

I love being next to you. I'm so happy you're here, I was waiting for you the whole night! Seeing you is the best part of my days. He says.

But these are all words, all lies, all just drunk flirtations. He doesn't know what he's saying, maybe he doesn't even know who he is talking to. Yet, her heart hopes that deep down he means every single thing he utters.

"How can someone be so pretty? Seriously, it's not fair. It's like you want everyone to fall in love with ya," he mumbles, swaying his hand in the air.

"What are you even talkin' about? No one's in love with me Theo."

"Pfft lies. Big ass lies. I know I am. And like fivety- fifty other people," she laughs at him and he pokes her side mumbling an I'm serious. Of course she knows he's not, and she's pretty sure that he said the same sentences to Adelane earlier. But you can't blame her for playing into it for a few minutes, believing that Theodore could actually love her. With a roll of her eyes she guides his head on her shoulder, and gently puts her hand into his hair, trying to quiet him. She feels giddy inside, like the first time she kissed a boy when she was younger, the only exception is that this feeling is better, much, much better.

Truth be told, even if he doesn't mean what he says, it would be fine with her. Because up until Theo, she didn't know how great it feels to love somebody unconditionally. Everyday she has something to look forward to, his voice, his laugh, his mere presence can make her swoon. Some say having a crush is hard, but to her, liking Theo is the best feeling and the easiest thing in the world. Just quietly doing homework, or sitting in front of the fireplace is enough. If he only knew that she's ready to give her heart to him. The boy hums quietly, burying his face into her neck.

"And you also smell so nice, you are seriously unreal. Pretty sure an angel," a shiver runs through her body when he lays a soft kiss behind her ear. And then another one on her jaw line. And another one her neck. Oh Merlin this was a bad idea. She clears her throat and pushes him away.

"I think you should go to sleep," before you do something you'll regret and hate me for the rest of your life. "Come on." She helps him up and he immediately laces their fingers together, too tired to fight with her.

She leads him through the crowd of dancing people, and he squeezes her hand, making sure he won't lose her. He likes holding her hand, he realises. They fit together so well, her skin is so soft and warm, it's really nice. He wishes he could hold onto her for the rest of his life. The music and the people fading into the background as the only thing he is able to concentrate on is her. He can't control what's coming out of his mouth anymore, but seeing the way Y/N looked at him, how her eyes sparkled because of his words, he didn't care that he lost control. If he could, he would say these things non stop to her, write it down on notes, write it on the sky, scream it at the top of his lungs so everyone can know how much she means to him. If only he weren't so scared when he's sober.

"Let's get you to bed, alright?" She says as they finally reach his room. She's gentle with him like he is fragile, and he could feel his heart melt into a puddle in his chest. He sits down on the edge of the bed, Y/N standing between his legs. He has a lazy smile on his face and his eyes twinkle in the darkness. "What?"

"Please stay."

"Theo, I can't. I- You wouldn't want that if you weren't…" She looks away from his pleading eyes, knowing that she will cave in if he keeps looking at her like that. Why does he have to be so handsome?

"I do. I always want that," a small frown appears on his face. He doesn't want her to think that. To believe that he wouldn't want her here if he were sober. "I always want you to be around. I love being with you. I really do" his voice barely even a whisper, as he rests his head against her stomach. Y/N runs her fingers through his hair and he closes his eyes, getting lost in her touch.

"It doesn't seem like it though," she whispers and his heart cracks open with each shaky breath she takes. He never meant to hurt her. He never wanted to make her feel like she wasn't important to him.

"I'm sorry. I'm so so so sorry. Please stay," his eyes are watering as he tilts his head back to look at her. "I promise I want you to. I swear. Please. I need you here."

She wants to believe him. Maybe what they already have is good, it's enough, but maybe having more would be better. So she does believe him for now. Y/N gestures for him to move and she lays down beside him. He immediately wraps his arm around her, and pulls her into his chest. It's nice, so nice, to lay with her here, to feel the warmth of her body, to hear her soft breathing, to know she is right here with him.

"I know I could do better but I swear, you are the best thing that's ever happened to me. I'll prove it. I'm goin' to prove it," he whispers into her hair before drifting off to sleep.

[ilovelosersandshortmen]

Hear me out-

The X-Men with a reader who can cancel out mutations, like when they're near someone, let's say Cyclops for example, he can take off his glasses and his eyes don't shoot out lasers.

I think it'd be funny to have it so the reader isn't even aware of their mutation, like one day one of them slips up or tries to use their powers around the reader but nothing happens 💀

Having a mutation that stops their powers (X-Men and The Brotherhood)

I LOVE THIS I'm actually going to do this with the X-Men and the Brotherhood because there's so many possibilities.

TODD (I'm just putting him first because he's my fav):

• You and Todd hang out a lot. For some reason, he just feels calmer around you (little does he know, you actually take away the stressful parts of his mutation, like the sensitive skin and everything)

• I feel like he still eats flies because he's used to it, so he doesn't notice that you took away the frog part of his brain that actually needs them for nourishment

• He doesn't actually realize that you have that mutation until he goes to jump and just.. falls on his face.

• He freaks out at first, but he does appreciate not being so slimy and all of that

• Sometimes if he wants to shower (check out my headcanons on why he can't use soap), he'll call you over

PIETRO:

• He. Hates. You.

• Not actually, because I don't write angst very often, but he doesn't appreciate the power you hold over him.

• You're like a more annoying Wanda in his eyes.

• He always gets on your nerves (because he obviously will, I don't care how cute he is), and you always end each argument by taking away his powers.

• "Very funny! Now stop."

WANDA:

• You think she can't kill you without powers?

• Just kidding, ofc. She loves you.

• But, she's very used to being controlled and her powers being held back, so I actually think she wouldn't appreciate you using it against her.

• If you don't know about your powers yet, then she's obviously not going to get mad at you.

• Actually, she's very sympathetic. She knows what it's like to have uncontrollable powers.

FRED:

• Would he really notice? I don't think his body would change. Maybe he'd lose some strength though, but he'd probably just think he's getting sick or something

• Or he would freak out and feel useless without his powers, leading to a breakdown (think Luisa from Encanto idk)

LANCE:

• (I don't know if anyone else noticed this in the show, but HE MAKES THE STUPIDEST FACES WHEN USING HIS POWER ITS SO FUNNY)

• I imagine he goes to use his power and nothing happens so he just stands there like 🧍

• LIKE ELEVEN IN THAT ONE SCENE OF STRANGER THINGS LMAOO

TABITHA:

• She'd probably be really chill about it, but after a minute she'd really miss using her powers.

• So she freaks out a little, but she plays it cool in front of everyone.

• Hey, she's a complex person!

SCOTT:

• He's so confused, he just stares blankly at everyone and no one knows what's happening

• like this: 😨

• After everyone found out about what happened, he actually kind of loves it.

• Imagine always having to wear sunglasses, I would get so sick of those powers. So, he enjoys the little break

• Just make sure to tell him when you leave the room, because he's used to keeping his eyes open when you're around

ROGUE:

• Yeah, we all know she needs this.

• She would get really excited, going around and poking people's shoulders

• Getting surprised when nothing happens and just being like "okay, just checking!"

• She finally gets to hug her friends and high five people and all of that fun loving stuff

• A bit disappointed when it ends, but she doesn't blame you

• Yes, she's a bit closed off. But deep down, all she really wants is to be able to live her life without fear.

KURT:

• As much as he would like it to, I don't think the mutation would take any physical traits.

• So the beautiful blue boy would have to stay looking like the dude from Avatar </3

• Which obviously isn't a bad thing, because he's perfect just the way he is, but Kurt is severely disappointed.

• The teleportation was the only good thing about his powers! And that's all that went away.

• He's not angry at you, just angry at himself for.. existing, I guess.

• HE DESERVES SO MUCH LOVE I CANT

• Your powers don't really do much, expect keeping him from running away during arguments. Which could be very helpful.

JEAN:

• Another one that I believe would appreciate your powers

• Jean has to deal with a lot of things, including the involuntary mind reading (which I'm guessing absolutely sucks, because who would ever want that power!?)

• So, until she controls that, it can be a bit overwhelming.

• Then, you come along. And it's silent. For once in her life, the only voice in Jeans head is her own.

• She obviously goes into protective mother mode during the chaos, making sure no one else is panicking while they try to figure out what's happening

• But she's honestly really relieved the entire time.

KITTY:

• Unfortunately, she finds out right when she's running into a wall (because I think that's funny comedic timing)

• I think she'd be a little relieved too, since we learned her worst fear is her powers trapping her underground and things like that

• So sometimes I think using her powers makes her really nervous, thinking she'd accidentally get trapped and suffocate or something.

• So, whenever she needs a break from that anxiety, she knows exactly who to turn to

All in all, I think this is a really cute idea and I loved writing about it. Thank you for the request, I had so much fun with this!!

[nd-babblinggoblinfromthevoid]

I wish that autism wasn't so heavily looked down upon/ignored/disrespected when I was growing up.

I was a "devil child", "handful", "problem".

When in reality if even minute changes were made in my environment and how my own family interacted with me, I would have flourished so much more.

I heavily stimmed using music. The repetitive beats and heavy bass was my thing. So when my mom wanted to punish me for something, one of the first things she'd do was take away my ipod/mp3 whatever I had. WORST thing was when she ONLY took my (very specific) headphones.

To her, it was taking away something fun. A luxury item. A toy basically.

But to me, it was taking away a very heavily ingrained stim that I NEEDED to do, and could not do without very specific criteria (specific headphones and a specific playlist/style of music)

So of course I would become horribly disregulated. Which I'd then have to attempt to mask/or recluse to avoid her so she wouldn't see how bad it unraveled me.

Because to her, being disregulated/unraveled was "acting up", "catching an attitude", "being disrespectful/rude".

Gods. Looking back I truly hate how she did me wrong in that way. Not just my stim but EVERYTHING. All my needs were either dismissed or half-met.

She is one of those people who thinks sure adhd/autism exists but not in HER family. Not in HER children. She even tried to blame it on the father of her children and it couldn't possibly have had anything to do with her.

..... we not only ALL have different fathers, but after observing both memories of her and her now, she is ALSO autistic and in total denial.

I definitely still harbor resentment because of that. She had me "evaluated". Once. At a time where they still heavily leaned on the male criteria for adhd, and autism wasnt really addressed/acknowledged unless it was severely debilitating. But also, by the time she had me evaluated, I'd already spent a few years (unknowingly) masking due to peers and family creating that need. So the conclusion was "there MIGHT be something divergent about her but we couldnt say for sure at this time" and she took that as "nope she's good, just a problem child. Carryon." Never again to be addressed.

She barely acknowledged that one of my brothers (previously a sister) was diagnosed adhd.

She only acknowledged another brother's adhd&autism diagnosis because the school he went to was very accommodating and insisted that he be evaluated and guess what.

Once he was diagnosed, and they rearranged his class schedules to fit his needs, he did a 180 and graduated top of his class. THRIVED. I both LOVE that he got that and HATE that I never did. I barely got through school.

It wasn't for lack of love of learning. I just, learned different, but was ALSO heavily overloaded with how crammed my courses were. I always wonder if I'd gotten the same accommodations, would I have thrived? Would school have been a drastically different/positive experience/memory for me? I'll never know. Because my mother was so against the idea that anything was divergent about me and absolutely mentally stuffed me into her little idea of an ideal neurotypical child that I never had a chance...

Now that I know I'm also AuDHD, like most of my siblings and even an aunt, I feel validated. I had seen vlogs and blogs about people more and more coming out about how they handle life and their coping skills and hacks theyve learned and after starting to apply those to myself... gods I've improved so much.

Don't get me wrong, I still struggle. But now knowing what issues are and how to cope and get around things, I'm a lot better off.

This is only ONE reason of several why my relationship with my mother has gone sour. What's sad is she doesn't really realize it yet? I havent been able to compose myself enough to have THE CHAT.

About how she hurt me a lot. Intentional or not. (Like not knowing taking away my music was taking away a stim) I don't know how to have this chat. Tbh I thought about writing a longass letter. Because in the past whenever she's been confronted about anything she's done wrong, she spirals into defense mode and wont even entertain the conversation beyond that point and you get... nowhere.

So maybe in person the bulk of the talk wont happen. I feel like. I need to hand her a letter. Have her read it. And maybe have a succinct chat before parting ways.

Because I wanted to be close to her for so long, that I either didn't realize or knowingly ignored her problem behaviors and looking back... she just... gods that's a whole other post for the future....

If you've read this far thank you. If you've had similar familial experiences, lmk (if you're comfy)

I just....... *sigh*.... yep.

[rayshippouuchiha]

I just need a moment to scream about Ranna 1/2. It's my first intro to Gender Bender stuff and that, Huh, am I Really a girl? Moments. I love the world building that we could see in the .... Product of it's Time shonen plot? Like, the acceptable humor of it's time but now horribly grates against my LGBTQ+ and gender equality sensibilities makes it a bit of a tragedy for me. Because the author had so many amazing ideas but they covered it in leecher humor when there were So Many ways it could have been a masterpiece? I mean, it was the 70s (I think?) so obviously there wouldn't be very many open-minded concepts from then but it still hurts, almost.

The gender and animal changing pools, the matriarchal Amazons, the Phoenix and Mollusc Tribes, Ranma's mom Nodoka (who really needs to kill her husband and stop scaring her kid) who is a complete badass (I'm sure Genma (the asshole who should've died on his "training trip") went on the trip because he was scared of her, the fic fodder that Ranma's training trip can give you, the Angst of Ranma's Nekoken (Genma deserved to die for that alone, death by cats asshole 🤬) and his possible grandma figure, the "Rivalry" between him and Ryouga (I'm pretty sure if Ryouga knew gay was a thing, he'd be one) over Ranma not making it to their fight because Ryouga got Lost (there's tons of fics right there for his Lost Trips, the Hibiki's are Directionally Cursed™).

My absolute fav fics are the Trans/Gender fluid Ranma ones. When they're on that journey, too. Just learning who they are. When I'm feeling shippy, then Ranma/Ryouga because they have a Connection. But Ranma xovers so easily. His girl form could be made into so many different Magical Girls (Sailor Moon, Wedding Peach, Tokyo Mew Mew, Cardcaptor Sakura, Shugo Chara, etc.) And his mom! She has no background beyond being a kickass swordswoman and housewife. She can be anything! She just made 3 bad choices. 1: marrying Genma, 2: letting Genma take Ranma on their training trip, 3: pretending that she'll hold Ranma to the contract he signed with his handprint at 3 to become a Man™.

I can't believe that Nadoka would kill Ranma over having a girl form like Genma thinks (but she would kill Genma). She was way too happy to spend time with Ranko (Ranma's go to name for his girl half) and mothering her. I fully believe she'd just be like, You're a woman, too, now so you need to be the Best Woman™ now, too. And just do Girl Bonding. Y'know, teaching Ranma how to look after themselves (cooking, cleaning, financials, more than the same clothes every day), shopping, and of course Swords. Nadoka deserves to pass on her Skills™.

I hate that all of Ranma's fiancees (that he only has because Genma kept selling his son for shit before leaving) are determined to marry him. They all click with Ranma on some level, but more like friends who just happen to be girls rather than wife material. Like, I feel bad for them, but they keep blaming Ranma for all the fiancees when they should be pissed at Genma for selling his son to so many people. Which is probably why I ship Ranma/Ryouga so freaking badly.

Both Cursed, both Amazing Martial Artists, Childhood Friends (for a while in middle school, Ranma's job was to escort Ryouga to class so he wouldn't get Lost and miss school), an actual Friendship to build on. I'm pretty sure Ryouga defaulted to Eternal Enemies over their missed fight because why else would he be so upset and feel so strongly over a missed fight with his best friend?

Anyways, sometimes I just get Feels about Ranma and I had to say it.

Ranma is a classic for a reason

[melloween-candie]

Yandere Fiona [F.G]

Fiona Gallagher as a Yandere Headcanon

A/n - OMG finally made something for Fiona lol~ Also, like every other Yandere headcanon I made for this family- I didn't do this in order lol I just wrote what popped into my head. Hope you guys enjoy it!~

Warning! Yandere behavior, Toxic relationship, Manipulation, Paranoia, Guilt tripping, Victimizing

Word count: 738

Shameless Masterlist

Fandom Masterlists

Yandere Type [Obsessed]

She's a crazy psycho. She may say she's not, but she is.

You already know that she has gotten herself into countless of bad relationships, and this is one of them lowkey, lol.

No, but the only difference is that she is more toxic this time around.

Like more toxic than usual (Not trying to hate, lol Fiona fans don't come for me 💀)

Fiona isn't really discreet when it comes to her feelings for you.

Let's say you two started off dating.

She was fine at first, but then she'd become more jealous, more controlling.

She's the type of yandere who acts like she's the victim.

She wouldn't kidnap you, though if you tried to leave her, she'd pull the guilt-tripping card.

She would definitely stalk you, and she knows it's wrong, but she wouldn't be able to control herself at this point

When you guys' date, she'd be more like a mother to you. Like she'd cook for you, clean your home, wake you up, and be there 24/7.

Fiona, as a Yandere, would definitely be controlling as FUC*.

Like "Where are you going? NOT WITHOUT ME!"

Or like, "Who are you texting? Why?!"

She'd be really paranoid, too

Fiona, by herself, isn't strong at all. She wouldn't be able to kidnap you even if she tries. Her best bet is to manipulate you, and if that fails and you leave her for someone else, she'd most definitely try and do everything in her power to make you guys break up

She might even kill them. Of course, once that happens, She'll panic, still thinking she's a nice person, try to fix it, and then feel guilty for not regretting it, and soon after, she'll forget the whole thing.

Fiona would also be smoking and drunk 24/7

She'd be in a really bad mental state

Honestly, you wouldn't even be the reason she became a yandere; you were just sadly at the wrong moment at the wrong time

I feel like Fiona would have had to go through some REALLY messed up stuff during her last relationship to make the feeling of 'needing to be in control' and 'jealousy' mixed with 'paranoia' in order for her to go insane enough so when she does fall in love again she'll have this intense need to make sure her current lover aka you won't leave her or hurt her.

What I mean is that her becoming a yandere would have been a messed-up way for her brain to make defense mechanisms.

Truth be told, she's just a broken woman who wants true love so badly she'd hurt you.

Like she'll lowkey force you to play your part

And if you wanted children- she'd most likely use it to her advantage. Like she'd baby trap you and stuff.

Now, if you were also a girl, then you two might not have kids at all because if you guys adopt, she'd be worried about the kid trying to take you away, and honestly, she wouldn't love the kid as much as how she would love another kid that actually has your blood in their veins

She would never cheat, though. And if she found you cheating, she would blame the other person and go bat-shi* crazy on them. She wouldn't kill them, though; she'd just threaten them.

And if you were a guy and so happened to impregnate the person you cheated on her with- then she might kill them 😅

One more thing, if you guys didn't even start off as dating, and you guys were actually friends, and you had a partner already... That's when Fiona's yandere instincts slowly kick in.

Like she'd slowly become jealous at the fact that you'd stop hanging out with her as frequently. Like she knew you first, know what I mean.

This would also drive her crazy cause she knows it's wrong, but she can't help it, and her drinking habits only make it worse.

Basically, Fiona slowly loses her shit for you. Her life was already crap, so she's gonna have a lot of defenses that would force you to be on edge around her, dating or not.

Let's just say she makes you very uncomfortable, and at some point, she won't even notice how bad she gets. To the point where you confront her, but she won't even hear you by that point.

This kinda yandere behavior, I'd have to say, is that she's the type who's, mentally, at the very bottom. Crazy and paranoid.

Picture a very fidgety, addicted adult who is constantly thinking of you. You're basically her addiction.

And she's not afraid to hurt herself or others to manipulate you into doing what she wants. All I can say is good luck. :)

A/n

Lowkey, though, Fiona was one of my favorite characters in Shameless until, at some point, she became more selfish and just got into a lot of bad shiz... I personally wouldn't want her as a yandere, but I hope you guys like this :) Don't get me wrong, though; I don't have anything against her. It's just some of the stuff she did; I just can't agree with. Sorry if some stuff didn't make sense. Basically, my image of her as a yandere would be that she'd act like a psychotic creep. 😅

[findingnemosworld]

𝐛𝐚𝐝 𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐚, 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 - 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐠𝐢𝐨 𝐫𝐚𝐦𝐨𝐬

・𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲: 𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐲𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐬. ( 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐝𝐨 𝐚 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐠𝐢𝐨 𝐫𝐚𝐦𝐨𝐬 𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐠 "𝐛𝐚𝐝 𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐚, 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭?" 𝐛𝐲 𝐎𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐚 𝐑𝐨𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐨? )

𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐭𝐨𝐱𝐢𝐜 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐜𝐲𝐜𝐥𝐞.

[ 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐢𝐭 ]

Her cellphone rings, she knows who it was without even looking.

She was out with her friends, inebriated by the amount of alcohol she had with her friends, she'd lost all rationality - she didn't answer the first time, mostly because she was too caught up in the celebrations, to notice, the second time it was a text message.

come over

There it was, two singular words which were ponderous enough to draw her back into his arms despite them splitting up seven months ago after a tumultuous relationship, a relationship that admittedly drained her yet she couldn't release herself from his grasp, akin to an addict, he was the fix that she gladly went back to inhale every single time.

She didn't answer, the sheer hesitance evident throughout her face as her friends noticed, then looked at her phone before giving her a stern look. " Babe, don't " one of them said before her phone vibrates once again, this time it was text of his new address.

" Seeing him tonight, it's a .... " She trails off, slurring in her words.

" Bad idea, bad idea " Her friend echoes.

And before any one could really react, she excuses herself - silently making her way out of the club to order a taxi, and when she got into the vehicle, she gave him the address, the new address he lived in.

It wouldn't hurt, to see him - they were after all, friends before lovers and while she hated him, not one single man she'd spoken to after him could compare.

Her thoughts were interrupted when the taxi stopped in front of the mansion he lived in, she hands the driver money and steps out, stumbling her way to the gate before she pulls out her phone and dials his number, waiting until the line connected. " I'm here " was all she could say, it's a bad idea, but god did she love the bad ideas.

It's easy to blame the alcohol for her current state, naked and bare of any clothing, standing in front of the mirror, his inked hand wrapped around her throat with the right amount of pressure while his other arm was tightly wrapped around her waist to match the pace of his thrusts; the mere sight of her, breasts bouncing up and down, her walls clenching around his cock that speared through her, hitting the exact spots that former lovers were too lazy to find.

" Look at yourself " He whispers, tugging on her ear. " Keep your eyes open and look at how fucked you are by me, how you're taking my cock in that tight pussy so good " he groans.

All sense of comprehension vanishes out the window, she cannot for the life of her formulate a coherent sentence, to speak her mind and say that while it killed her, being with him made sense.

" I know that no one single man " He grunts, thrusting his cock in and out of her walls, " None of them can please you like I do, it's why you fall back into my arms every time, because those pathetic fuckers don't understand what you want "

" Oh yeah " she struggles to mutter, " What do you think I want? "

He chuckles darkly, the hand that was wrapped around her waist climbs up to tug on her nipples, grinning when she squirmed in his arms. " You want someone that can ignite that fire in you, the kind of fire that only I can ignite "

His thrusts turn wild, sloppy yet still effective enough to have crying from the intense pleasure that consumed her as she rides out the euphoric orgasm, " See " he cooed, nibbling on her skin. " I'm the only that can fuck you like this "

Indeed, he was the only and she hated it so much that she kept coming back, over and over.

His touch is the reason why she comes back like a fool, why her rationality vanishes each time he texts her, she might call him a friend but the truth is, he's the personification of terrible ideas.

He's a bad idea, but one that she loves more than she can admit.

[immortalityismymiddlename]

➪ their toxic traits.

includes only : jett, fade, neon and reyna (Might make a pt.2)

(super short!)

Ex:

(your role : controller, sentinel, etc.)

(your job : smoking, entering, etc.)

~

Jett:

If you two were still friends you two would DEFINITELY piss you off by teasing you about small things.

"You sure you're really up for this job? Those cookies look a bit burnt, almost thought they were brownies!"

Of course she doesn't try to hurt your feelings.. she just loves pissing you off, and she just.. does. not. stop.

Some, of course are out of pure pettiness. she is a bit toxic when it comes to these things but you know what? let's not mention that.

I see her as someone who would blame her own mistakes on other people. And if you make one,,, God, she. does. NOT. SHUT. UP.

"Damn! I thought we didn't even have a (your role)! Since noooo one was doing (your job)! If it weren't for me we wouldn't been able to even do (insert)!"

Things like that, she might even lash out at you for things like that. Of course, regretting it right after. She hates admitting when she's wrong.

"If you did (insert) then we would have won!"

"If only I wasn't chosen to work with you."

"Wow, you really think that would've worked? Pfft- please."

Fade:

In all honesty, I'm not so sure what her toxic trait is, since we don't know a lot about her like we do with the others.

But,, my version of fade can't let go of the past. Having a hard time to forgive other people, constantly reminding them of what they've done (to herself) so it won't happen again.

Her forgiving them and then they just repeat it.

She won't be mean to your friends, but if you ever decide to introduce her to them she won't consider them as her friends. Just nodding along to what they have to say. I don't think she'd listen much or has any interest in them.

Of course she tries to, but if they are or, were. a bad person I don't think she'd care much. she'd wonder why you'd ever be friends with someone like that but.. she doesn't say that out loud.

If she feels as if any of your friends might do any of those things, to you or to her, no matter how different it is. If it's even the slightest bit close to the things she's experienced she won't get along with them well.

Making it hard for her to get along with others, of course, she does with a few. I mean there's you, but she's too cautious and careful. (A little less because of you though!) Scared to get hurt the same way she was before. She, of course isn't so vocal about it.

She's just too cautious around said friend.

If your friend has done something bad in the past, i mean who hasn't? But she'll keep it in mind.

If your friend decides to say anything slightly offending to you or to her, she'll bark back. And it won't be pretty.

"Oh? You don't like the way i (insert)? In all honesty, I don't care. As if I'd ever care about someone's "opinions", especially yours."

She won't remind them of their past or use their abilities on her UNLESS they give her reason to, though.

Goodluck getting her to befriend someone. It probably took you a long time to get her to even try and consider you as a friend, you think they will with your friends too?

Neon:

I'm sorry to say this but, she's from a filipino family. Although, I won't say her family is super toxic but.. since there is a generation gap with her older family members.. i think they'd be a bit, just a bit insensitive. (Very insensitive.)

Maybe they were a bit ignorant to her feelings. You know how regular filipino households are, dapat nangiti ka lang, kababae mong tao palaging nasimangot. (You should only be smiling, you're a girl but you're always frowning.) Is what i think she'd hear often.

If a friend hurt you by accident or you had a fight with them, chances are she'd give reasons as to why they would've done it instead of comforting you.

"Have you,, done something to them recently? You know, to make them act like this? I'm not saying you did but maybe you have."

"Why are you sad? You know it's not good to always be sad. Cheer up, come on. Let's go sing sa (at the) karaoke bar next street! I know you want to."

"Maybe they were in a bad mood or something happened to them. There's a lot of reasons to why they could have done that, it's just a fight... It happens a lot."

Reyna:

I feel like she'd be the type to decide things for you, including you in plans you never even wanted to be in. Saying yes to going to events and stuff without your permission.

She decides for you, she thinks she knows what you want. Sometimes it gets to the point you can't even talk for yourself.

She always guesses what you want and even finishes your own sentences for you! And when you confront her about it she just says something about wanting to do things for you.

It sometimes even gets to the point where you think she sees another version of you and loves another version of you and not you. But how can you even confront her when she guesses what you want to say before you can even finish?

"There is no need, Mi amor. I already did it for you. You don't need to worry."

"we're going to the event, remember? Did i not tell you? Raze invited us so i figured we'd join. I already knew you want to so i agreed."

"they don't want that. Come on, let's go find you something else you'd actually like."

"Why would you do that? I thought you'd want (insert) more than that? Did they pressure you into doing that? Don't worry. I'll go talk to them for you, make sure they won't do that again."

[songsteps]

okay I broke and read Sky in a day here are my general thoughts

Frostpaw my baby you really are The Only (tm) A Starless Clan protagonist... she's the only one I don't have any particular negative feelings towards and I'm genuinely interested in her storyline, also I love seeing how much it's highlighted that Mothwing is incredibly capable and responsible, like we all knew she was but, makes me happy that some attention seems to be brought to it :)

like man I know she would want to stay a med cat and she DESERVES WHAT SHE WANTS but tbh? I feel she'd make a good leader.... Mothstar

and I think that's all I really have to say that's good

god I hate Nightheart now, like my original interpretation of him in River that he might be good and was relatable was based upon the fact that he seemed a lot more genuinely insecure like thinking he has capabilities but fucking up because of an (irrational) focus on lineage and overthinking shit, and the thing he felt he deserved was more his own identity, which is fair, and I thought they might take a more complex route exploring that BUT NO, like, I feel like the things that get passed around the most that garner hate for him are probably just more shocking and yea could probably be explained away but it doesn't matter cause the biggest problem with him is instead of having like plausibly having a fight with self doubt and stuff like I viewed him in River he's constantly like "well I deserve RESPECT for HOW GREAT I AM and just no one can see that" like dude, shut up where are you getting the idea that you're so great, and I just, completely rescind all my previous opinions on him, even though my inital expectations of his character would've been better for a protagonist that wouldn't have made want to throw my phone at the wall while I read the book. Which I think was why I was much more inclined to interpret him that way initally but like, to anyone still attached to him there is no question at this point this isn't just a case of a young adult having an angst session this is a character thinking he deserves things that he hasn't earned like especially in the case of his warrior duties he has proven he doesn't deserve respect in that regard, outright blames Squirrelflight repeatedly, like it comes down to his self righteousness instead of self questioning you know? that's the thing that is the crux of his shittiness as a person and I understand wanting to cling to an inital interpretation of him being more complex but his ridiculously prominent self righteousness just kills any reasonable interpretation that requires anything but a complete overhaul of his personality. like, I like Crowfeather, I don't like or accept everything he does in canon but there's enough that is not stated to us and enough depth behind the intention of his character that allows some different interpretations of him as someone who can and does eventually choose change without entirely breaking from the story given to us, but god... NIGHTHEART IS NOT IN THAT BOAT

Sunbeam is... okay as a character I guess? I wasn't fond of how she treated Lightleap though I still guess it's an understandable temporary emotion, her taste in toms makes me a lil more hesitant to give her as much slack on that as I might otherwise, but her interactions with her mother Berryheart are interesting, though that is really the only interesting thing in this arc besides what's going on in RiverClan

these books still make me angry, but I do want to see what happens to RiverClan myself, though I can't quite theorize what exactly is going on yet. Berryheart and Sunbeam's conflict is interesting as well, I honestly can't give a shit about anything else like I have so little to say on the plot because I honestly feel like this book didn't really... feel like it added much more to the story

hey! I've got a good idea! only Frostpaw and... I guess Sunbeam (for her interactions w/ her mother) get a POV in the books after this one, Frostpaw gets more chapters though so we can focus on the only plot thread that is significantly interesting

I know it's not gonna happen but it'd make the rest of this arc so much more fucking bearable

[shayyprasad]

games // part four (final part) | p.p.

who says peter parker owns an apartment 

final partttt

request, vote, and comment

masterlist to this here!

peter made a point to stay away from me the following week, and for that i didn't blame him. i'd fucked up and this is what i deserved. i didn't know what to say or do that would make this better.

all in all, i'd chickened out. i was scared and i had no other reasoning. does this count as trama-induced shit? i don't know. 

it was too late now, really.  he hated me and that was fine, it would be better off this way. we would be better off this way. i wouldn't accidently hurt him or vice versa, yeah?

yeah. 

...yeah?

i was currently hiding in library, so i would be able to avoid peter's sad eyes.

"you're a bitch, ya know?"

i was taken aback, my head snapping towards the voice. 

mj. it was mj.

"i-i'm sorry?"

"don't act like you don't know what i'm talking about. it's not like the whole school knows, anyways. that's literally what everyone's talking about."

"i.."

she raised an eyebrow. "you stood up peter?"

"that's not- i didn't-"

"yeah. you did. why? he doesn't deserve that, and you know it."

blinking, i wasn't sure what to say? i was scared? to what, break my heart? quietly, i whispered a response. "i dunno," lie, "i wasn't really thinking," lie, "i guess i was afraid?" truth.

"to what?"

"hurt him. break his heart? break mine? these things never end well."

"well, how's that working for you?"

"what do you mean?"

"breaking hearts," mj explained.

oh. oh, okay. i see. i may have contridicted myself here. i shook my head, very literally trying to shake the thoughts out of my head. "no, you don't get it."

"then help me. help me understand."

"...i-" what was there to explain? "my parents got divorced," short and sweet."

"okay? my parents got divorced."

"not the same."

"why?" 

"because."

"because why?"

"god, why are you doing this?"

"no, why are you doing this?"

i threw my hands up in the air, exasperated. "doing what!?"

"you're running away. from this. from him. don't you realize that it won't help anything?"

"but my parents-"

"you aren't your parents. their love story doesn't dictate yours. make your own, your own story. fill up the pages with whatever the hell you want, but don't you dare close that book."

yes, it was a weird comparison, but it oddly made sense. 

"what are you getting at?"

"you can be your own person. just because your mom and dad didn't work, doesn't mean you and peter won't. it doesn't even have to be serious, just try it. for him. for yourself. give it a chance, maybe he'll end up being the one. besides, peter isn't like that. he's a gentleman. i pretty sure. unless he's a secret fuckboy, i don't know.

"but what i do know is that you'll never find out if you don't try."

i sucked in a breath, "what if it's too late?"

"it's never too late. go get your man," she winked. 

"okay, yeah. i-i'm doing this... uh, maybe after school, though." she nodded, going back to her book. 

"thank you," i whispered. 

"it's fine. everyone gets misguided sometimes. just takes a little nudge to get back on track," mj paused, "besides, i know you're, like, hopelessly in love with him." 

and before i could ask, she added, "it's pretty obvious."

despite the growing blush on my face, i grinned. 

- 

i paced in front of peter's house, like i had been for the past 30 minutes. may's car wasn't in the driveway, and i didn't know when she'd be back or where she was going. 

i'd been hiding behind a bush as i'd watched her drive away, so maybe i'd have, like, another 30 minutes? 

what would i say to make this all better? was there even anything to say? "sorry" didn't seem like enough, it was such a small, pathetic word. vague and insincere.

sorry what?

sorry i stood you up.

sorry i led you on.

sorry i was a bitch.

sorry i'm scared. 

sorry i'm like this.

sorry because you don't deserve this. you deserve better. so much better, and i'm not sure if i can give that to you. 

i cracked my knuckles and chewed on my bottom lip, letting my fist hover over the front door. suddenly, the door opened. my eyes widened and i jumped back, met by the face of curly haired boy. 

i'd been in my head all day, dreaming up fake scenarios where everything would be okay, and we'd, i don't know, end up kissing? (and other ones that ended up with peter taking over the world.)

he sighed, pressing his lips together. 

"i- you- i was just... because- you know, like... yeah."

peter shook his head, "i saw you through the window, like, 15 minutes ago. i figured i would let you actually do something, but you didn't, and i got kinda impatient."

"oh." oh? seriously? that's all i can muster up?

he waited for another moment and then looked away, "look, it's fine."

it is?

"you don't like me and that's it. there's not really anything to do about that. it was kinda too good to be true. i should've listened to ned. you're friends with flash, for god's sakes. what on earth did i expect? not that you go around playing fucking games or something."

peter shrugged, looking back up at me, "i guess i thought you were better than that."

my throat felt dry, and if felt like sharp pieces of glass were shredding my vocal cords, because i couldn't say anything. his eyes lingered on me for a bit longer, and when he realized that i wasn't going to say anything, he shut the door.

almost.

"what-?"

i blew out a breath, "ow, that kinda hurt. i may need better shoes." i unwedged my foot from between the door, pushing it back open with my hand.

i tried again, getting kind of desperate. "i- i don't... i didn't mean-"

"it's fine," he said, stressing every syllable. "i don't care."

"you- you don't?"

"oh, i'm sorry, did you want me to be hung over your rejection the rest of your life and follow you around like a fucking puppy or something?"

"no! no, of course not." i don't think i've ever really heard peter swear before, so he must've been really mad, and i don't blame him. i'd want to defenestrate myself, too, if i were him. 

in fact, i do.

"i messed up and i know that," his expression read that my statement was rather obvious. "but- i... i really do like you."

peter raised an eyebrow.

"i know that nothing i say can make this better, and i get that. i don't expect you to forgive or give me another chance, but please hear me out."

"okay," he said timidly, so i sat down on the front steps.

"it's stupid and i know that, okay? so don't laugh." peter didn't respond, so i continued. "my parents got divorced when i was really young, and i didn't really expect it. you know, because i thought they were perfect. and at least in my eyes, they were."

"my parents are... uh, dead," i looked over at him, frowning. but when i saw he had a half-smile on my face, i felt my heart beat faster. 

"they had a fight, got divorced, and... and, yeah. i'm not sure how my dad took it, because he never talked about it. he still doesn't. i've tried asking, he doesn't like that. i guess he must've removed all info from friday, too, because she claims to not know anything. 

"my mom died just a year or two after. kinda went off the rails, maybe. she died from overdose. i don't know whether it was accidental or not, my dad didn't tell me that either. i don't think it was."

"i-i'm so sorry-... i had no idea."

"i know. it's okay. i'm just scared. i don't want to end up like her." once i'd started, i couldn't stop, it was thrilling to be actually talking about it. because i'd never done that before. 

my dad had gotten me a therapist after my mom died, but i'd refused to talk to her, so that was that. 

"so it's not that i don't like you. because i really, really do. you mean a lot to me, and if i'm being honest, i don't really think i've felt this way for anyone before. you're- you're different. i feel happy when i'm with you, like i don't have to pretend. because i know you won't judge."

i sighed, "i know it's not fair to call anyone perfect, but i really think you are."

"i want to be with you, peter. you know, if you'll have me."

"i do. i- i mean, i do want to have you. well, you're not an object, i mean, like, be with you. and you don't have to worry, y/n. i'd never do anything to hurt you, i love you too much. we can take things slow if you want, test out the waters."

at that point, i realized what we hadn't wasn't perfect, but that was okay. i loved us for it. 

i nodded, "so you aren't mad?"

"no, i'm happy that you told me this. i'm glad you could trust me. so... wanna restart?"

tilting my head to the side, i raised a brow.

"i'm peter," he held out a hand, grinning dorkily. i took it and pulled him close to me, kissing him. clearly, he was shocked, because he didn't kiss me back for a moment. but when he did, it was the best thing in the world. 

after all, we didn't have to restart completely.