#notice how i put riko last

[kevindavidday]

thinking of doing more perfect court polls hmmm lots of thoughts about the top 5

[pupkashi]

scars

gojo learns to love the scars on his body

a/n: hi friends ! here is sweet and soft lil something about our favorite white haired sorcerer <33 thank u for the request and i hope u guys enjoy :3

wordcount: 1,547

masterlist

he stares at it every morning. when he pushes his hair back to fix it and put on his blindfold, when he wears a shirt that isn’t his Jujutsu uniform. his eyes seem drawn to the faint scars on his forehead, neck and chest.

they seem jagged and out of place compared to the rest of his smooth and perfect skin, serving as a reminder of his failures and losses.

“g’morning pretty boy,” you mumble, walking past him and sitting on the toilet, too asleep to notice the way satoru jumped, quickly letting his hair fall to cover the scar.

the pet name seems unfitting as his eyes move back to the mirror, his reflection staring back at him. “morning sweets” he finally answers, washing his face and grabbing his toothbrush.

“what’s wrong?” you ask, still as intuitive as ever when it came to your lover.

“‘m fine, just a bit stressed,” a tight lipped smile as he hands you the toothpaste. you don’t believe him, but you decide to hold off until at least after you’ve woken up a bit more.

you don’t say anything as the two of you continue to get ready, letting your gaze linger on satoru. there was nothing you could think of that could’ve made him upset so early

it’s a bit quiet as you both make your way into the living room, flowing easily as you two make breakfast, making each others coffee, with satoru carrying the plates to the table and you the coffees. (the last time he carried the coffees burned his hand and spilled both cups everywhere.)

and as he’s about to head out the door you’re pulling him by his collar, fixing it a bit and pressing a gentle kiss to his lips. satoru melts into your touch, hands slipping around your waist and all worries being thrown out the window.

“have a good day angel boy,” you mumble, pressing on last kiss to his lips before pulling away.

“cant be that good if I’m not with you,” he pouts, not bothering to make a motion to leave, not until you’re forcing him out the door as he whines ‘just one more kiss!’

it’s anytime there’s a reflective surface, he’s stealing a glance, making sure his neck is covered. he’s so careful about it, wanting to keep his scars hidden, too ashamed to show them to the world.

“sensei is that a scar on your neck? that’s so cool how’d you get it?!” yuji’s voice is enthusiastic and his eyes are glimmering as he stares up at his teacher.

satoru physically tenses at the acknowledgment of the scar on his neck, quickl flashes of that day coming into his mind. geto, riko, where it all went wrong.

“just a nasty fight is all” he shrugs his shoulders, hoping the younger boy would drop the topic.

“but if you have infinity how’s that happen?” his brows furrowed as satoru tries to calm himself down.

“yuji come look! megumi found something!” nobara calls out, the pink haired boy rushing to her side as making their way to their other friend.

satoru’s hand unconsciously brushes over the raised skin, recalling how he’d tried so hard to get the skin back to normal, begging shoko to help him.

that afternoon he’s wearing a bigger sweater, letting his messy bangs fall over his forehead and trying his best to cover up his neck when he catches you staring at him.

“what?” he asks, a nervous smile on his lips. did you realize how ugly they were? were you finally done calling him pretty?

“nothin’ you just look so pretty” you sigh, smiling as you press a kiss to his cheek, hand reaching to push his bangs out of his eyes. satoru stops you immediately, his much larger hand wrapping around your wrist, eyes wide as he realized what he’d done.

“I’m sorry” he mumbles, hand shaking slightly as he lets go of you, rushing into the restroom and taking deep breaths. you were gonna hate him after that, you would realize how fucked up he was and you were gonna leave him and-

three soft knocks on the door pulls him from his thoughts, “angel boy? you okay?” you sounded worried, and he couldn’t help the tears filling his eyes.

“I’m sorry if i overstepped, i didn’t mean to” your voice smaller, satoru opened the door immediately, almost instantly pulling you into his arms.

“no you didn’t” a shaky breath leaving his lips as he debates on where to go from here. “it’s just, i don’t really like my scars,” he frowns, eyes averting your gaze.

you gently take his hand in yours, leading him back to the couch, watching as he tentatively fiddles with the hem of his sweater, pulling it off of him.

there’s a scar running from his neck down his chest, the skin raised ever so slightly. he shrinks as your eyes land on the skin, clenching his jaw when he lifts his bands and reveals the smaller scar on his forehead to you.

“they ruin everything,” he whispers, watching as your fingers ghost over the skin.

“may i?” you’re looking up at him, and he doesn’t know what the emotions swirling behind your eyes are, but he nods anyway. shivering when your fingers make contact with the skin, trailing down the entire length of it.

he jumps a bit when you place a feathery kiss to the top of the scar, he watches as you continue to kiss down his chest, following until the end of the scar. your hands feel cold compared to his now flushed skin, watching as you look up at him.

you don’t say anything as you cup his face in your hands, pressing a gentle kiss on the tip of his nose. “they don’t ruin anything, pretty boy,” your words laced with love.

“but-” he begins, the shake of your head cuts him off, the slight furrow of you brows is enough to have him stay quiet.

“no, i don’t wanna hear it,” you frown, “they don’t make you any less attractive, they don’t make you any less of my pretty boy,” the words comfort him in a way he never thought words could. the warmth blooming in his chest has his eyes watering slightly. “in a way they show how much you’ve grown, what you’ve learned and lost” you begin, your fingers intwined with his, grip tightening a bit.

“you don’t think they look, i don’t know, ugly or out of place?” he pouts, still not daring to look into your eyes.

“don’t be silly angel boy,” you grin, pushing his bangs out of his face, pressing a kiss on his forehead, atop his small scar, “nothing about you could ever be ugly, you’re the prettiest.”

his cheeks are dusted pink as a small giggle slips past his lips, finally meeting your gaze when you gently lift his chin with your index finger.

“but as much as i love you, you smell like sweat,” you scrunch your nose up, “so go shower,” laughing when his jaw drops, letting go of your hand and sniffing himself, scrunching his nose in agreement.

satoru doesn’t hesitate to wrap himself around you, smothering you in a hug, laughing loudly as you struggle to free yourself.

after his shower satoru’s eyes linger on his scars, the dewy mirror distorting his reflection slightly. for the first time since he can remember, satoru doesn’t think about that time when his eyes land on his scars, rather he thinks of the love of his life, the one who comforted him through it all, the one waiting for him now.

a small smile on his lips when you welcome him into bed, clinging to him as soon as he slips under the covers. you pull him close to you, peppering kisses along his jaw, then his cheeks and finally landing on his lips.

“you’re my pretty, angel boy,” you whisper, eyes staring into his cerulean ones, “i don’t want you to ever think otherwise,” pressing one last kiss to his lips before cuddling into his chest.

instead of flinching away, he lets you. he lets himself relax as your hand rests over the scar, only the thin fabric of his t shirt separating your fingers from grazing the skin. he relaxes into your touch, smiling when you press kisses to any open you see, whispering compliments into his ear, comments reserved for only him.

slowly satoru finds himself not even glancing at his scars in the mirror, he no longer tugs at his shirt collars, and he doesn’t dread staring at the mirror. he doesn’t sleep with a shirt anymore, and he walks around shirtless, a boost of confidence shooting through him when he catches you staring.

they no longer feel out of place or ugly. not as you kiss them, each press of your lips more filled with love and tenderness than the last. not as your fingers ghost over them, giggling when he flexed his abs under your touch. not when you accidentally let slip that you think he looks hotter with scars.

not when you’re there to kiss away any insecurities he has, to push away any doubts in his mind with a shower of compliments.

taglist (send an ask to be added!): @chilichopsticks @anime-for-the-sleepless @4sat0ruu @safaia-47 @nanamikentoseyebags @fushironi @nineooooo @the-mom-friend-dot-com @gojoshooter @sat6ru @beautiful-is-boring @luna0713hunter @torusmochi

[bliss-in-the-void]

My actual canonical interpretation of SatoSugu?

I believe they were the bestest of friends, inseparable soul mates who were mutually in love with each other, but never confessed the depth of their feelings, never discussed their relationship, and never actually made anything out of it.

I believe that Suguru had a massive crush on Satoru throughout their high school years. Satoru was more dense on the other hand and did love Suguru but didn’t know how to place his feelings exactly. Suguru was always by his side and that was enough, he felt secure, so why look into it deeper?

After the trauma from the Star Plasma Vessel mission, Suguru was heartbroken that Satoru left him alone a lot. He missed Satoru and spiraled, self-isolated, started becoming obsessed with his own self-talk about ‘monkeys’ and ‘creating a new world with sorcerers only’. He and Satoru both became self-absorbed. Suguru lost that crush and admiration he had for Satoru even though he still loved him. He wanted his own goals more. So he left.

The second he left, I bet that’s when Satoru realized what Suguru meant to him. That’s probably one of the reasons that Satoru is stuck in the past, because he finally placed his feelings for Suguru, realized he was in love with him, and kept replaying those moments they had together, realizing he never noticed Suguru sending signals, mad at himself for never noticing. He regretted it so badly that he just couldn’t stop living in the past with Suguru. If he’d just paid attention, if he noticed Suguru’s signals, his spiraling, maybe he could have stopped it.

That moment where Suguru returns to the high school to declare war only to leave again, when Satoru watches and watches, (according to the JJK 0 Light Novel) his “eyes kept following the shape of Geto’s soul”. He couldn’t look away. He was filled with so much regret. His entire creed is to raise strong sorcerers together so that no one has to be alone the way Suguru and he ended up.

And when the time came for him to kill Suguru, because last words are so important to him, he finally told Suguru what he should have told him when they were high schoolers. “I love you.”

Suguru, who’d long buried those feelings, probably realized that the things he’d told himself about how Satoru viewed him were wrong. This whole time, Satoru really did love and trust him still. That’s why he smiled. He was loved in return.

“You should at least curse me a little at the end.”

He wishes Satoru would have hated him because now he’s filled with regret. If only they’d had talked sooner, none of this would have happened. Suguru had always placed emphasis on ‘found family’. We see this when he calls Kuroi “Riko’s family” and when he adopts Mimiko and Nanako, as well as the rest of the sorcerers/curse users he rounds up for the Night Parade of 1,000 Demons. With that said, I know for a fact that when they were in high school, he saw Satoru as his family. He saw him as home, as safety, as love.

Really, the only time that he and Satoru aren’t putting on some sort of act is when they’re alone together. It’s strange to see the two of them so serious, especially Satoru, who deflects with humor like his life depends on it. But it’s fitting. They’re just comfortable around each other, there’s no need for masks. They never even seriously raised their hands against each other, nor fatally hurt each other’s family/students.

Now, fast-forward to a year later in Shibuya, when Kenjaku uses the love Satoru and Suguru have for each other against Satoru. How does he know seeing Suguru would have such a drastic effect on Satoru that it would immobilize him completely? Did he watch from afar? Did he keep tabs on them? Or did he see Suguru’s memories somehow? Could he feel how Suguru felt when around Satoru? I’d like to think it was both—Kenjaku kept tabs on them before Suguru died, and gained access to his memories after taking him over.

He even knew the tone Suguru used to use for Satoru’s name. The soft way he called his name. He knew the only thing in the entire world that could stop the strongest sorcerer in modern times was using the love of his life against him.

The smile Satoru had when he thought it was Suguru makes me believe that the only thing he wanted was to see him again.

Then, when he realized it wasn’t him, Kenjaku said “how sad, you don’t recognize me?”

As if to say Suguru would be devasted that Satoru didn’t recognize him. Kenjaku knows how Suguru feels about Satoru.

Then Satoru calls him on his bs and he says “creepy, how did you know?”

Creepy?

The only other time Kenjaku is creeped out is waaaaaaay later in the manga (spoilers ahead) when Satoru sets the fight day to Dec 24th Kenjaku acknowledges that it’s romantic, and that “having a date with him on the 24th gives him the creeps”.

Oh, I know he’s grossed out with how much they love each other. Like. How the hell else do you interpret that???? Come. On.

Add in when Suguru somehow comes back from the dead for a moment and tries to choke his own body to save Satoru. Kenjaku is baffled—that’s never happened before. That is a demonstration of love everlasting, absolutely.

Then you have Shoko’s “I’d never fall in love with either of you, but you were still never alone” to SatoSugu, basically confirming that she knew the two of them shared a romantic bond that she couldn’t replicate the depth of.

So. Yes. They were very very much in love with each other and to this day Satoru loves Suguru with every fiber of his being and lives his life dedicated to atoning for his (self-perceived) failures to Suguru. He thinks about him everyday. He says he was his only friend. He has Shoko, Ijichi, Mei Mei, and Utahime and yet he only sees Suguru. He only sees Suguru.

[otdiaftg]

The King's Men - Chapter Seventeen (19)

Day: Friday, April 26th / 27th* Time: 9:33 PM EST

The only Raven making a second appearance on the court tonight is Riko. The other two filing on are brand new, another striker to balance Riko out and an offensive dealer Neil remembers from last October's game. The Ravens intend to tear the Foxes' defense wide open, and by this point it won't take a lot of work. They are almost halfway through the second half. Even though the Foxes are built for the long haul they are quickly running out of steam. It costs them too much to go up against a team like this. "They're not fast enough," Andrew says. He has to mean their defense line, so Neil says, "I know." "Are you tired?" Andrew asks. It isn't concern, Neil knows, but that doesn't make it a less confusing question. He hasn't gotten the ball often enough tonight to be tired, but he can't say that with Matt standing two feet away from him. "Not yet." "Then I'm taking my turn. Matt," Andrew says, and Matt turns toward them immediately. Andrew lifts a finger from his racquet to point at Neil. "We're subbing Dan for Neil and Neil for you." Matt stares. "We're what?" "You're limping," Andrew returns. Neil hadn't even noticed, too focused on the ball and the Ravens. He shoots a startled look down at Matt's feet like he can somehow see the source of Matt's pain. "You're no use to me right now. Get Abby to put a brace on that. Neil can hold them in the meantime." They've said all night that speed is the fatal weakness on their defense line. Neil is the fastest player in Class I Exy, but how Andrew thinks this is a feasible solution Neil doesn't know. Neil wants to point out every reason this is a bad idea, but he doesn't have the right to turn Andrew down. "I started this game as a backliner, remember?" Neil says to Matt. "The Ravens put me up against Riko when I stayed with them in December. I know how he moves." "Two weeks of practice don't make you ready to face the best striker in the game." "Kevin's the best striker," Neil corrects him, "and I don't have to be the best backliner to counter Riko. I just have to be faster than he is. We both know I am. Trust me. I can keep him away from Andrew while you rest." "Coach will never go for it," Matt says. "Tell him he has to," Andrew says, like it was that simple.

Art used with permission by Ziegenking094. Thank you @ziegenkind094!

*Due to the Leap Year, I have opted to highlight the day rather than the date to keep the events in occurrence to the 2007 year. I will continue to mark both days accordingly.

[jeanmoreautemple]

Thea Muldani: a rant

I feel weird about Thea but I can’t really put into words exactly why? So I’m writing down some things I’ve thought.

I honestly didn’t think much about her before TSC, like she was okay (I wish she’d been introduced earlier tho or that she hadn’t graduated already so she was a recurrent Raven player or something).

After reading the extra content I wasn’t bothered about the age gap between her and Kevin but yes a little bit about the fact that Kevin was fourteen when they first met + the -you fuck like a virgin, maybe some practice will make you better at it- comment that Nora included. It was uuhh weird but the rest of the Kevthea story was okay, and Thea is 100% not a groomer. Plus, Nora technically deleted the extra content so in theory nothing there is canon yet.

Now in TSC we get her sole appearance in TKM from Jean’s POV, who has known her since he was fourteen (like Kevin- this is important to keep in mind). The scene starts out cute! We find out she took him under her wing and even had nicknames for him like Paris and her little duckling🥰. So the fourteen year boy that just arrived from france with broken English looked up to her, Thea was ~21 at this point.

We know Jean is going through HELL during this time:

And we also know the Moriyamas were always particularly cruel with Jean, getting more physical him than with Kevin. Even though It’s said that Riko would torture Jean and Kevin (broken hand incident) in private, hence the other Ravens not knowing the whole picture, how can a fourteen year old kid hide such pain? But apparently , as we later find out, Thea was too deep into the Evermore raven cult mindset that she didn’t find anything strange about the coach and Rikk’s behavior towards Jean.

At 15 Jean is given a number and place in the perfect court, but only at 16 joins the lineup. He gets a lot of hate, especially from the other defensemen, whom Thea works with:

Although the Ravens are know for being extremely violent training, at least in the court Thea must have noticed that the defense line were especially brutal to Jean. Or SOMETHING.

But here comes the worst part: during this same year Riko forces Jean to sleep with 5 defensemen. By the time Jean is a junior most of these have graduated which means they were 20 or older. So Thea had been playing with each of these guys for at least 2 years (except for Grayson), she knew them.

They went on to joke and talk about the whole ordeal as Jean paying for his perfect court number. Thea also being in the defense line could have heard all of this first hand, we don’t know. But It’s so widely talked about that it reaches Tetsuji and we do know Thea witnessed Jean’s punishment:

Coincidentally Thea starts a sexual and emotional relationship with Kevin this year (it’s her last too).

So here’s the part that made me dislike Thea very much. In TKM she goes to Kevin demanding answers, Kevin then brings her to Jean, who is looking like this:

It’s been three years since she graduated but she’s still wearing her Raven number in a necklace, and when she sees Jean’s state in TSC she comments how if Kevin hadn’t said anything she’d think it normal:

By now it’s clear she at 26 is still 100% brainwashed, but this next line of hers cemented it:

YOUR OLD TRICKS ?!

So let’s break that down:

1. The immigrant kid (16!) she watched over for two years from age 14 to 16 suddenly starts having sex with members of HER (23!) defense line who are all around her age and openly hate him for 5 consecutive nights and she doesn’t suspect anything?

2. Said defensemen then brag and shame Jean afterwards calling him a whore, which leads to Jean getting beaten half to dead by their coach and still nothing?

3. Years later she recalls the incident as Jean being up to his little tricks and being rightfully beaten to a pulp?!!!!

I can’t. I know she’s also a cult victim but no. It was super common for Ravens to have hate sex with each other but her being close to Kevin (and somewhat Jean) during the time Jean’s (a 16 year old!) assaults were happening and still remaining this clueless… I’m sure she must be lovable for both Kevin and Jean to respect and care for her so much but her one scene convinced me she’s way too deep into the Raven spirit and her presence around Kevin and Jean would be just so harmful.

But I have to give credit when it’s due, apparently after some hours with Kevin and 7 years later she believes her King broke Kevin’s hand:

In conclusion:

Thea is absolutely no groomer but if one takes a look at her attitude towards Jean’s sexual history when he was 16 and how her relationship with Kevin was happening simultaneously, her you fuck like a virgin, maybe some practice will make you better at it and tell me you weren’t up to your old tricks comment combo, it all makes me dislike her. Cause you’d think someone who at 22-23 was dating a boy who had just turned legal would be careful or mature enough to choose her wording better when talking about the sexual activity between a boy close in age to her own boyfriend with people around HER age, but nope. The fact that Kevin married her, has a child and lives happily ever after with her seems unbelievable to me.

PS: Her and Kevin’s (we don’t know if he believes Riko) apparent ignorance or lack of suspicion of Jean’s freshman year assault was the most hurtful part of TSC tbh (not counting Elodie). Imagine having the closest people to you misunderstand/ believe lies about such a traumatic event. I guess this is why Nora didn’t include a Andrew POV, I would have died or wanted to kill Nicky and Aaron for not looking deeper into Andrew’s attitude.

[irisintheafterglow]

Heyy, can I request best friends to lovers with suguru geto pls? Maybe where reader is helping on the star plasma mission but gets a little jealous of Riko bc sugu is so focused on the mission that he hasn't spent much personal time with her?

Also! I adore the fic where sugu and reader are best friends on a mission together! Good work 👏

dazzling haze, mysterious way about you, dear

summary: on your last night on the star plasma mission, a trip for water becomes an interrogation.

wc: 1.5k

cw/tags: best friends to lovers, swearing, mild angst, satoru is the king of being unserious and you're having none of it

note: so many suguru fics that i will gladly provide🫡 also i'm sorry this took so long, i just started fall semester so my time has been a little limited lately. but thank you for the ask, i hope you like it!

likes, reblogs, and replies are always appreciated :D

It’s chilly in Okinawa, much colder than you imagined it would be. Despite the comfortable airflow of AC in your part of the hotel suite, something about the environment still felt stifling. It felt too empty, the bed too big and the sheets too barren. Water, you decide. Let’s get water and some fresh air.

Your intentions are abruptly thwarted by an idiot in the sitting room.

“Aw, come to check if I was okay?” Why do I even bother? You turn on your heel and head back in the direction of your bedroom, leaving Satoru pretzeled in his armchair. You’d just have to figure out how to fall asleep a different way, one that didn’t involve a change of scenery. Still, a loud whisper calls out to you as you make your way back down the hallway. “Hey, wait! Why are you actually up?” Giving him a skeptical look, your shoulder finds the side of the door frame and you cross your arms defensively. 

“Couldn’t sleep, duh. Why else would I be out here?” 

“Okay, grumpy, don’t duh me. I’m just wondering since you usually sleep the deepest out of all of us. Well, you and maybe…” His voice trails off and you watch the gears start to turn in his head. He knew there would be only one reason why you weren’t sleeping well. You shoot him a sour look preemptively and he narrows his eyes in suspicion. “Is something wrong between you and–”

“Alright, stop talking,” you state bluntly, pushing off the wall and finding your way to the corner of a sofa next to him. You want to slap the arrogant, aware-of-his-victory smirk off his face, but the daggers you’re staring into him are deflected by a shield of self-satisfaction. “Stop smiling like that, asshole.”

“Sorry, I just can’t help but laugh in the face of your suffering,” he shrugs with a patronizing lilt to his voice. You scoff and throw a pillow at him, to which he catches with one hand. Infinity off, you notice. He never turns on Infinity if it’s you, or Shoko, or Suguru with him. “Both my best friends are idiots in love, and both are suffering!”

“I think suffering is a little much.”

“Nope. It’s a little embarrassing, really.” His tone has turned to unabashed teasing and your face heats a little bit from pure indignancy. There’s no way Satoru put two and two together, right? Shoko’s epiphany was understandable; she seemed to always be watching, someway or another. Nanami only learned because Haibara figured it out first. You weren’t, however, anticipating the king of living in his own world to confront you. You put up a wall of confusion to hide the fact that he was poking dangerously close to your greatest secret. 

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“Don’t play dumb. Or do, I don’t really care. This is entertaining.” He flashes a condescending grin that makes your blood boil. Yet, despite your best efforts, you couldn’t find the courage to leave. Retreating felt like running away, and you were determined to withstand Satoru’s stubbornness. 

“You are the biggest asshole to walk this Earth, Gojo Satoru,” you bite, shrinking away a little bit when uncannily blue eyes burn into your retinas. Unease sits in your stomach as he stares at you like he knows every single one of your thoughts and memories. It’s a feeling you wouldn’t wish on anyone, being the sole target of the strongest sorcerer on the planet. It had your forehead perspiring and knee bouncing unconsciously.

“And you are utterly in love with Geto Suguru,” he states. 

“How would you know that?” You sputter, immediately back on the defensive. 

“How could I not? You’re staring at him eight days a week, 25 hours a day.” You wish you could summon a fork from your domain and stab his stupidly determined eyes. Still, you think gaslighting the strongest sorcerer and your nosy best friend is a plausible option. 

“You’re out of your mind.” He sticks out his tongue defiantly. 

“Am not.”

“Are too.”

“Am not, no take-backs.” You groan and lean back into the cushions, a hand coming up to cover your tired eyes. “So, are you mad at him or something?” 

“I don’t owe you any explanation,” you snap, but with significantly less fervor than before. He’d caught you. 

“You don’t,” Satoru agrees. “But, I also know you’re dying to get it off your chest.” You peek out at him from behind your fingers and he’s still staring at you expectantly. “Well?” You exhale deeply before speaking, stalling the inevitable. 

“I’m…angry?” It’s more of a question than a statement and he snorts haughtily. 

“You don’t sound very sure.” 

“I hate you,” you glare. Of course, he wouldn’t take seriously anything you’re trying to verbalize.

“No, you don’t. Continue,” he ushers you on with a wave of his hand. “Why are you angry?”

“It’s dumb,” you mutter indignantly, silently praying he gets bored and drops the subject. However, the honored one is relentless.  

“You have a crush on Suguru. Can’t get much dumber than that.”

“What about being jealous when we aren’t in a relationship?” 

“You don’t need to be in a relationship to be jealous, you know.”

“Yeah, but it feels so wrong to want him when we’re supposed to be focused on the mission. I just want to make sure he’s okay.” 

“And, you want him to make sure you’re okay?” He’s right on the money and you despised it. 

“I guess so.”

“You know, he already does that about four million times a day,” he says, like the information should be obvious to you. “Check on you, ask if you ate, bring you water, the usual. It's up to you how you want to interpret that, but I think it's clear as glass.”

You exhale again, leaning forward to rest your elbows on your knees and your face in your hands. “I don’t know what to do, Satoru. I can't think clearly when he's around and I feel so immature.” 

“You’re not asking the right person for advice, you know.” You stiffen at the voice coming from the darkness of the hallway, his voice. Three thousand trains of thought derail all at once when he steps out into the moonlight of the room, looking absolutely stunning despite having just woken up. “I don’t know who you’re talking about, but you must be really desperate if you’re going to Satoru for advice before me,” he jokes as he sits down next to you on the sofa. He’s in such close proximity that you can feel the warmth radiating off his body and faintly smell his shampoo. 

“And the world must be ending if the deepest sleepers I know are both awake at the same time,” Satoru adds, shooting you a knowing look for half a second before returning his focus to Suguru. “If you two are taking over watch for a few minutes, I’m gonna go take a shi–”

“Please, leave before you finish that sentence,” Suguru interjects as Satoru’s body lankily disappears down the hall. You’re suddenly struck by an unwavering feeling of awkwardness, something you’ve never felt before with Suguru. He must have sensed the way your body tensed up, too, since he respectfully positions himself away from you ever so slightly. “Nightmare?” You shake your head, too exhausted and too emotionally drained to answer. “Thinking?”

“Mhmm,” you hum, fiddling with your fingers. You can feel his dark eyes staring at you, but you don’t look up at him for fear of him seeing the burning shame on your face. “Just thinking a little too much about the mission, is all.” 

“Just the mission?”

“Yeah,” you lie, and a glance at his face reveals a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. “What has you so entertained?” He chuckles softly under his breath, the faint light catching the sharp outline of his jaw. Fuck, you think. He’s so beautiful. 

“You’re a terrible liar.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I’ve been awake since I heard the door of your room creak open,” he informs you and your stomach drops to your knees. “So I–”

“Heard everything,” you finish and put your head back into your hands, face on fire. “Just ignore whatever I said, rationalize it as a weird-ass dream or something–”

“Why would I wanna forget what you said?”

“Because you have bigger things to focus on,” you laugh, a little cynically.

“And I’m only able to focus on them because I have you to ground me,” he replies nonchalantly.

"What do you mean?"

“I like you too, genius. I thought it was obvious that I can barely see straight when you’re within a ten foot radius.” You smile, genuinely this time, and scoot back closer to him until your shoulders are touching. Carefully, your pinky reaches for his and eventually interweaves all of your fingers together. He lets you rest your head on his shoulder, inhaling deeply against your temple. 

“Can we do something about this after the mission is over? I don’t want to put more stress on either of us,” you whisper. 

“Of course, we can,” he murmurs, pressing the lightest kiss to your forehead. “Take your time; I’m already all yours.”

“You’ll wait for me?”

“However long you’ll let me.”

if you enjoy my writing and would like to support me, you can buy me a coffee on my ko-fi! you can also check out my full masterlist here :)

[bnpd]

DID I SEE YOU SAY GHOSTFACE AU????? OMG???? you KNOW i'll be ready for that :333

YESSS AND YK i have to do yall good with the plot AND smut!! I'll give you a sneak peek fr ! it's still a super rough rough draft

SNEAK PEAK !

Ghostface Gojo AU! Coming fall (Halloween)

SYNOPSIS: Why can’t you shake off the thrill of his attention? You’re not scared of him. No. You’re afraid of what you feel for him: What you’ll turn into when you fall into him. 

PROLOGUE.

They’d started again. The killings. 

You hadn’t told anyone about them yet, but you knew the second the news began reporting a mysterious killer on the loose leaving white ghost masks at murder scenes that it was over for you. He was back. He was coming for you. 

They were only getting closer. Each report left a location that began to close in on your area. The first one was hours away from you, the next thing you know it’s someone living a few blocks from you. But you were next, and you were sure of it. 

It was getting closer to Halloween, and you feared the nail to your coffin would meet its end, the night of Halloween. 

5 Years Ago.

The warning signals had begun during your birthday week, but the worst was yet to come. You were in your last year of high school when they first started. Things were great, but that never lasts in a town with a history like Woodsboro. 

Your father was the chief of police, and well, good people always suffer. He had been in charge of conducting the investigation when Ghostface first began to target a girl by the name of Riko Amanai. She was killed by the original Ghostface, Toji Fushiguro. After your father put him in jail for the rest of his life, things went back to normal for a few months. Until someone else picked up the mask and began the killings, no—not the ‘killings’. The torture. 

He was there every night, watching you from outside your window, condescendingly tilting his head every time you made eye contact with him. You gazed at him from the safety of your room. Noticing how his breathing would pick up every time you looked at him—looked into him—, especially when you walked closer to him. He was a big guy, standing taller than your doorframe. 

He never did anything, but you knew he watched you sleep. He was always watching you. Even if you never saw him at school you still felt his burning gaze. The closest he ever got to you was when you left your window open and faked sleep. 

A tight grip on your dad’s handgun tucked under your pillow, ready to shoot in case of anything. 

That night you found out he was fascinated with you. He caressed your hair in your sleep, before softly cupping your cheek, soothing you with his thumb. 

The tenseness in your shoulders never dissipated.

He left shortly after. You got up trembling that morning. You couldn’t shake the feeling that he was far more tame than the last Ghostface. The fact made it more terrifying. He was no less of a threat to you than anything. 

Everything went back to normal after that. 'Normal' being, him standing outside your window, watching you. You never told anyone about the late-night visits. Doing so would make them even more real, and you feared what that could mean for your peace and sanity. Over time, you had begun to trust him. 

That was your first mistake. 

-

Birthdays tend to be quite unforgettable, and this one was at the top of your list. The night of your birthday had marked an irremovable scar.

Your boyfriend, at the time, lay dead with the knife piercing the back of his head straight through your birthday cake. A party hat was snugly secured on his head and a birthday card was strategically placed between his limp fingers.

You remember screaming that night, a soundless one and the rest was a complete blur, but one thing was for sure. This one wasn’t your Ghostface.  Or maybe it was and he was finally showing his true colors. A shade of crimson red to be exact.

Your shaky hands picked up the birthday letter that night. A gasp of horror left your lips, as your knees gave out on you. Your body collapsed to the floor in a kneeling manner.

There it was, written with blood.

feel more than welcome to submit a request <3 ᥫ᭡ join my taglist (and my bomb-ass discord)

©2024 bnpd. All rights reserved to the copyrights owner. Do not share, plagiarize, or translate.

[tsukimefuku]

forgiveness is a collective resource ✦ satoru gojo

summary: as you're telling gojo about your most recent fallout, he ends up telling you in return the last question geto posed him before leaving.

tags: jujutsu kaisen, f!reader, platonic! gojo x reader, implied higuruma x reader, fluff, angst, our beloved white haired, blue-eyed sorcerer receives some well deserved comfort.

wc: 900

notes, etc: i wrote this to the sound of i'm only human. it felt like a good fit. i wanted to write this one for so long, but never knew where i'd put it on the story. i'm happy to have found its place.

✦ collection of stories: "jujutsu partners au" → masterlist for fics listed in chronological order of events

I'm no prophet or Messiah ✦ You should go looking somewhere higher ✦ I'm only human, after all ✦ I'm only human, I do what I can ✦ Don't put the blame on me

"So, that's what happened," you concluded, taking another bite from your sandwich.

"Yeesh," was all Gojo mustered up to say, not being the best at comforting people.

You and Gojo were having a snack in the woods that surrounded Jujutsu High's HQ, and you had just told him about Hiromi's departure to Morioka.

"Having people leaving is shit," you noted, "especially when you care deeply about them. Feels like being left alone to fend off for yourself."

At that, he fell weirdly silent, and you wondered if maybe this would be the best moment to inquire about Geto. After a while, you had learned everything about their fallout — the death of Riko, how Geto had a sharp descent into madness, how he murdered an entire village and had been awarded the death penalty for that.

"The last thing Hiromi told me before he left was that he loved me," which was a twisted, painful little kindness, you thought. "What was the last thing Geto told you when he left?"

You noticed Gojo's demeanor changing a little, and his body becoming stiff. You gave him a few moments before he'd resume his talking.

After a sigh, he ensued.

"'Are you Satoru Gojo because you're the strongest, or are you the strongest because you're Satoru Gojo?'" He took a bite from his sweets, and continued to speak with a half-mouthful of sugar. "That was his final question to me before he left."

"What a stupid question."

"Huh?"

"What? You don't know the answer to that?"

He was silent.

You sighed. "You really think that low of yourself? Ugh. The latter, obviously."

The sorcerer was thoroughly surprised and somewhat dumbfounded, so he simply stayed silent in order to hear your observations, something that could be considered the highest form of respect Gojo Satoru was able to display for someone.

You shook your head before proceeding.

"First of all, Geto didn't know what he was talking about, because he wasn't seeing you, only a distorted reflection of his own resentment towards you for supposedly leaving him alone to spiral down madness on his own. Stop blaming yourself. You did what you could, all of you did."

You involuntarily sighed, trying to push the heaviness away from your heart.

"We sorcerers really need to put our God complex aside and learn to forgive ourselves."

Then, you took a pause to sip on your soda, proceeding.

"I blamed myself for years, just to have it all blow up in my face a decade later. Hiromi left a good new life he had built for himself to chase ghosts from the past," and Nanami, arguably the best one of us all, made a terrible decision that rendered him miserable, you thought, "all because of this wicked little thing called guilt. Guilt weighs us down, tethers us to the past and prevents us from moving forward. So here it is: I forgive you. Have my forgiveness." 

"Your forgiveness? For what?" Gojo asked, slightly confused.

"For whatever you want to use it for. Use it to forgive yourself, since you couldn't find it in you for your own benefit. Have absolution. Forgiveness is a collective resource, and we can all forgive each other for our shortcomings. We're all human, after all."

For the very first time ever, you saw Gojo's expression softening underneath his blindfold, and you wondered if the one looking back at you right now was the teenager that failed Riko Amanai and Suguru Geto so many years ago.

The real Satoru Gojo, underneath all the silly cockiness.

"And just to finish answering the question Geto posed, that's precisely why you're the strongest because you're Satoru Gojo, and not the other way around. It was from your failure that the strongest could emerge, and your fallibility stems from you and your humanity."

You now knew how those days went, especially Toji's plan of wearing Gojo down to strike, and the way Gojo told you mindlessly about the first time he let his infinity turned on for days on end.

"You tired yourself in Amanai's benefit, and it put you in a vulnerable position, something only Satoru Gojo, and not the abstract concept of 'the strongest', would ever do. That's why that question is fucking stupid and offensive. You're more than the six eyes and infinity, and more than the people you couldn't save. Let it go," you concluded, taking another sip from your soda.

You were both silent for a moment, and you briefly wondered if you hadn't stepped over a boundary.

"Please, get up" he solicited, an indecipherable voice and expression to his blindfold covered face, getting up from the ground himself.

"Oh, okay," you answered, slightly surprised at the unexpected request.

In a second, Gojo leaned down his huge frame and embraced you, remaining still like that for a minute as you hugged him back, having your chin hooked above his shoulder.

At this moment, even if he was a giant in comparison to you, he seemed and felt remarkably small.

"Thank you," he said, his voice but a whisper behind your head.

You smiled, tightening your grip around his back, happy you could finally reach him and keep him true company.

"No problem, pretty boy. You saved my ass so many times. Thought I'd try to return the favor, which you should know is not something easy to do, since you're the strongest," you said with a laugh, "not all kikufuku in the world would pay off that debt."

He huffed a brief chuckle, letting go of you, feeling he might not be so alone anymore.

[ilythecolorpink]

Why have one when you can have both? (Toji Fushiguro x Shiu Kong x fem reader)

You had been working with Toji Fushiguro and Shiu Kong for around 5 years, so you weren't present when Toji's wife passed away, but you occasionally looked after his son Megumi Fushiguro. Because you two had experienced so much together, you two were close. Like Shiu Kong, you were a meditator and saw curses, but you didn't waste your time becoming a Jujutsu Sorcerer after all getting all messed up wasn't your forte.

Since it was your job and you didn't particularly enjoy seeing people die, you made an effort to keep your emotions out of it but something about this case was different was it because of how young the girl was? Or maybe the fact that humanity will fail because of her death? It was the day Toji finally killed Riko Amanai, the 14-year-old girl who was the Star Plasma Vessel.

As I make my way to Shui’s car I can smell the sweet scent of the cigarette that he has now lit as he rolls down the window. As I lean down to meet his gaze he adds, "Hey Y/N get in the back, Toji finally killed the vessel." I say, "Oh wow, I really didn't think he could do it," as my eyes widen in shock. He agrees with a nod before saying sarcastically, "Yeah, and now like his taxi driver, I have to pick his ass up." I chuckle back and open the door to his car, getting in behind him, wrapping my arms around him while I rest my head on his shoulder, smelling his strong cologne as I remark, "Mmm, you smell so good, but regrettably, once Toji comes in, all I'll smell is death."

"It's a shame you aren't next to me because otherwise, I wouldn't be able to keep my hands off of you", he smirks as he rests his hand on mine and throws his cigarette out the window while keeping one hand on the steering wheel. I utter "You always know what to say, don't you?" as I notice a slight blush on my cheeks. He laughs softly, and the car comes to a stop. Then, when he opens the door, Toji exclaims, "Yo, I hope you don't mind Y/N but I'm putting the brat with you." With annoyance in my voice, I reply, "You've got to be kidding me? you know what fuck you." Then with a smirk on his face, he says, "Yeah yeah, you wish you could, now just take her."

As Toji sits in the passenger seat, I push Riko’s hair out of her face and let her head rest on my thigh, not minding if blood gets on me. Inquiring strongly, "By the way, how is Megumi doing?" Shiu turns to Toji.  "Yes, passenger princess, how's little Megumi doing?" I interject. “He accidentally called me mom the last time I saw him, which was very adorable.” Shiu laughs at the nickname as Toji rolls his eyes and asks “Who?” Shiu and I both give him shocked looks, to which I retort, "You can't be serious!" "How could you forget your own son?" Shiu then asks. Toji responds as he waves us off saying “You guys are so annoying.”

After some time, we arrived at the Time Vessel Association. As we go there, Shiu is smoking another cigarette on my right, and on the left of me, Toji is carrying Riko on his right shoulder. We meet Sonoda Shigeru as we make our way around the building; simply by being in his presence, you can tell that something isn't quite right with him. As soon as Sonoda is finished with his speech about the cult. Toji makes a circling motion with his index finger at the side of his head and Shiu responds with a chuckle as I laugh and then state, "I want whatever drug he is having." As we leave, Toji says, "Hey, since we have all this money, how about we have dinner together?" I reply with a smile and "Really? Oh my god, would you please bring Megumi?” Shiu takes another drag from his cigarette and then replies with a sure. Toji responds, "Since you asked so nicely doll face, I will give it some thought if I can find him that is."

A/N: This was so fun to write anyway, I love you all so much.

[whalesforhands]

HAII NYV!! hope ur doing well!!

tbh,, i’ve been thinking. How do you think SSS trio would feel about Dyf!mc going the same path suguru did? (Yk, seeing riko die and going spiraling to the point that she leaves jjt n stuffs,,) Do you think they would try and beg her to stay? Or would they let her go willingly because they’ve always wanted the best for Mc? Also, when they see each other after 11 years, Who sees her first?

tbh ive js been having brain rot of dyf so like…a million AUs are coming to me about it at once LMFAOO. but hope ure doing well, love ur writing xx

tw: yandere

lol why does ur spelling of name perfectly describe how it’s meant to be pronounced

what makes you think you’re even allowed to leave them behind like that? what makes you think you’re even able to leave them so freely?

you won’t survive out there on your own, are you just trying to die quicker? are you just trying to make them suffer just as much as you?

you’re in pain. they know, they know. you’ll get food placed outside your room’s locked door, have all 3 of them talk to you from outside too. sometimes it’s all 3 of them hanging around, sometimes it’s just 2, sometimes it’s just 1.

it’s gojo satoru that has had enough of your slump, kicking your door down with little to no effort as you flinch from shock, hiding under your blankets when you feel the dip of your mattress, and a head landing atop of your cocooned self, letting out a disappointed sigh.

“I didn’t wanna do that, ya know? You’re making things hard.”

it’s only then that he would lay down next to your form, an arm over your waist and spooning you from behind as you start to break down even harder, taking his intrusion and hoarding the comfort he gave you in this moment.

and your door’s been broken so many times you decided to just leave it unlocked… letting him and the others come and go as they please, letting him wrap his long arms around you at every given chance, letting him kiss you on the forehead every morning he gets to spend in school, telling you that he’ll be back from a mission soon.

maybe that was how it started.

“There are no missions for you, (last name).” Yaga’s scratching his head as he flips through his clipboard, carefully scanning the words.

“W-what? Why?” Your arms are shaky as you hug a Baby Panda close to yourself, soft purrs emanating from him as you pet him mindlessly. You’ve been loitering around in the campus for… Close to 3 months now.

“I’m quite confused as well. There haven’t been any curses within your grade level as of recently—“ He pauses as he flips through more papers, eyes narrowing behind dark sunglasses. “There just isn’t—“

“Then m-may I take one above my grade? T-that would put me on grounds for promotion, right?”

“You can, but there aren’t any sorcerers available to invigilate and recommend you for promotion anytime soon. Earliest I could find one is—“ The incessant flipping of papers stop.

“In about 6 months.”

ieiri shoko lets you roam around the school campus, watching you, talking to you, trying to improve your mental health. she prods you to speak your mind, convinces you that the world outside was the one that was going insane, that it wasn’t you that felt trapped, felt cornered in here.

“The campus is where you can be safe from such things. Don’t sweat it.”

and you believe her. why wouldn’t you? she’s your beloved shoko. shoko who teaches you how to do first aid when she notices how lost and listless you’re becoming, who teaches you how to treat wounds, how to stitch up open cuts, how to stop internal bleeding… all just to take up your time. she’s patient with you, holding your hands, letting you take tea breaks with her… it’s peaceful with her. you’re at ease.

so much better than being out on field, right?

geto suguru takes his time with you. he reads your favourite manga with you, asks you about the novels you have been eyeing and wanting to buy, talks about the soba noodles he had on that one trip to nagoya... hell, he’s the one who cooks food for you and helps you clean your room when he thinks you’re getting sloppy.

“Let me do it for you, okay? You’re not looking well enough to do it on your own.”

maybe that was when you thought to yourself that, maybe, just maybe… you didn’t want to leave this place.

though, if you still have some fight in you…

out of all three of them, the one who would most probably fold to your whims and let you leave is suguru. maybe when you go limp in his arms, break down crying into his chest, go quiet when he attempts to feed you…

or maybe it was that decisive kiss under the blankets of darkness, a show of your desperation and longing for something more than this that he starts to crack, starts to break. it’s then that he finally thinks that, maybe, perhaps, he needs to let you go. he’s always been quite the emotional one.

11 years of free roam? more like 11 years of surveillance. it’s not like you were allowed to go with no strings attached, you were still standing on soil that wasn’t Jujutsu Tech ground because they’re the ones who have given you this right.

they’re the ones who let you go have fun, even letting you get a job as a regular salary worker, let you get a quaint little apartment nearby, let you live the life of a regular person.

but no, oh no. you wanted to play hero again when you saw a little girl getting chased, hunted by a curse? wanted to save a life again because that’s what you could do? wanted to do?

And you got hurt from your decisions?

let’s just say you’re in for a bad time.

[selfindulgentpixies]

And it's here! Part 4 of my Suguru x reader x Satoru fic. This chapter is once again extremely spoiler heavy and I recommend you're at least caught up on the anime (ep:28) before reading. I worked really hard on this part and have been super excited to share it. Content: Gn!reader (reader gets referred to as pretty/adorable at various points with they/them pronouns), reader's CT is important to the story, Canon typical violence, Toji is here and is his own warning label truly. Word count: 3514 Master list

Chapter 4: Realizations and losses

It’s late when things finally quiet down, the sun long since sinking below the horizon when you approach Satoru with a cup of overly sweet coffee and press it into his hands. He looks at you in surprise as you go to sit across from him with your own mug in hand. “I thought you were going to sleep.”

You hum and then wince when you burn your tongue slightly on your coffee. You let your tongue peek out from between your lips for a moment, unable to notice how Satoru’s eyes linger on it past his glasses. “I decided I wanted to stay up with you.”

“You really should sleep, only I need to stay up.”

“Yeah but I said I want to stay up with you. I want to keep you company. I can just sleep on the plane tomorrow morning.” You blow on your coffee. “ Unless you object to my company?” You glance at him over the rim of your mug, having no idea how cute you look at that moment.

“Of course I don’t.” He sips the coffee prepared to be disgusted by the bitter taste then gives you a surprised look. “You put in enough sugar the first try?”

“I couldn’t help but watch in horrified fascination yesterday when you were making your coffee. You’re worse than a little kid.” You tentatively sip your own coffee, now satisfied it won’t scald your mouth. The two of you sit in silence for a time. “You know… You’ve been really kind the last couple days.”

“I’m always kind,” he retorts almost reflexively.

You give him a wry look. “Uhuh… Well you’ve been especially kind to Riko-chan. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen you be so considerate of another person before.” He looks like he’s about to protest but you continue, your cheeks heating up about what you’re going to say. “I like seeing this side of you. Like a lot. Making sure not only that Riko’s safe but also making sure she’s as happy as she can be. It makes me happy that the two of you decided to bring me along. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t also have a lot of fun today too.” 

Perhaps it’s just the lighting but when you look at Satoru you could swear he’s blushing. You wonder if you should take it as a chance to tease him to try and mitigate the fact that you’d just praised him and how that may come back to bite you in the form of being teased yourself. You don’t though. He’s done so much for everyone else on this mission at his own expense you think you can give him that at least. Despite how tired he looks he’s also so pretty and has a certain softness to him in the dim orange light. You wish you could see his eyes past the dark lenses of his glasses, you’re certain he’s looking at you and you wonder what you’d see without those small glass barriers between you. You clear your throat. “You’re never this quiet, it’s making me nervous. Did I say something wrong?” 

He shakes his head. “No, nothing wrong.” He just couldn’t help but think the way you’re looking at him now is how you look at Suguru. He wants to burn this moment into his memory because even with how self assured he is he’s not sure if this will just be a passing thing. Having your full attention in this way. A yawn escapes you though and he glances toward the clock. It’s two sixteen in the morning. “You really should go to bed. I’ll be fine on my own.”

You rub some sleep from your eyes and shake your head. “No, I said I wanted to stay up with you so I will.” You give him a determined pout. “You shouldn’t have to sit up all by yourself watching over all of us.” 

“I’m one of the strongest, I’m fine sitting up alone-”

“Strongest or not you’re still just a person… Even with Suguru being the strongest must get lonely…” The last part is said so quietly, almost as if you weren’t sure you wanted him to actually hear you. You down the rest of your coffee, stand and then look at Satoru again, he’s looking back, his glasses sitting lower on his nose and a look of surprise on his face. His glowing gaze is fixed on you and you want to fidget but instead take the two steps needed to be in front of him. Suddenly feeling as if you need to play it off you ask. “Ah.. do you need more coffee?” You hold out a hand for his mug. His fingers twitch against the porcelain before he passes the mug to you.

You swear you can feel his eyes following you when you go to get more coffee. You wonder if you said too much but you’d meant what you said. It applied to both of the upperclassmen. How they seem to stand at the top out of reach of everyone else. You felt a bit like you were stumbling and tripping after them the last couple of months. This mission made it feel like they’d actually stopped and waited for you though. Perhaps that’s just wistful think- 

You weren’t paying enough attention as you were filling your own mug, causing it to overflow. “Shit!” You curse, covering your mouth hoping you weren't too loud.  

“You alright?” Satoru asks. 

You wince, a little embarrassed. “I’m fine, just spilled some coffee.” You give a half shrug and look around for something to wipe up your mess with. Then through the thin fabric of your shirt you feel the warmth of the older boy nearly pressed against your back.

“Here, let me get it.” He reaches forward with a washcloth in one hand, a pretty stark white thing with the hotel’s logo on it, while his other hand rests against the counter on your other side, effectively caging you between the counter and himself. Your heart beats wildly in against your ribs as he wipes up the mess and you don’t dare move since the slightest movement would press your back against his bare chest. Then the moment passes, he pulls back and tosses the soiled washcloth into the sink. “Is this one mine?” he points at the mug filled with milky coffee and with what you know is a sugary sludge at the bottom. 

“Y-yeah that one's yours,” you stumble over your words and want to kick yourself over the knowing grin that takes over his lips. You turn away and carefully empty the excess coffee out of your own mug to make room for creamer and sugar. When you turn back around Satoru is leaning against the wall sipping his coffee, watching you. Looking at you like you’re a puzzle he’s trying to piece together. 

He jerks his head indicating for you to follow him. “Come sit with me?” 

You raise an eyebrow at him. You’d already been sitting with him? He turns and goes back to the sitting area, passes the cushioned chairs and opens the sliding glass doors to go sit in one of the balcony chairs. He leaves the door open for you to follow and you do. Taking a deep breath of ocean air and then letting it out slowly you sit next to him but then immediately stand back up, your coffee sloshing in your mug as you set it on the railing, causing him to give you a startled look. 

“I almost forgot! I’ll be right back!” And you rush back inside, leaving him to blink after you in confusion. When you return several moments later it’s with your backpack and you’re mumbling to yourself. ”I hope it’s all still good…” You sit back down next to Gojo and begin to rummage through your bag. 

“Hope that what’s still good?” You answer the question with a triumphant hum as you pull out the prettily wrapped box of mochi and hold it out to him. 

“Remember on the first day of the mission you and Suguru sent me to go get snacks? Everything got so busy so quick that I completely forgot to give them to you.” 

“I completely forgot about it,” He admits with a gleeful smile. He takes the box, pulling off the decorative ribbon so that he can open it. The pillowy soft sweet treats had managed to get through the last couple of days in your bag unscathed thanks to how you had carefully tucked them away. He picks up one of the light pink ones, already able to smell the sweet scent of strawberry before popping the whole thing into his mouth, one of his cheeks puffing out like a chipmunk. The sight makes you giggle. 

“I’m glad I remembered them. I would have felt bad if they’d gone ba-” You stop mid word as the powdery and plush surface of mochi touches your lips. You blush when you realize he’s trying to feed you and you turn face out of shyness, making a trail of rice flour coat your lips and onto your cheek. You hope that in the dim light he can’t tell how flustered you’d suddenly become. 

He pouts, “Come on take it.. They’re really good.” He knows very well that you’ve turned your face away because he’s flustered you and relishes in how cute you look. You’re not even getting annoyed at him for his antics which encourages him, leading him to lightly bump the plush treat against your equally plush cheek teasingly. 

“Stooop,” you’re a little surprised when he lets you take it with your hand instead of pulling it away and insisting you let him feed it to you. That felt like the sort of teasing he’d do anyway. You can’t quite bring yourself to meet his gaze as you take the mochi and bite into it. This one has a mellow sweetness to it, slightly earthy, if you had to guess the flavor you’d say it’s matcha.

He leans back in his chair putting his hands behind his head with the box of treats balanced on his lap. A small, and admittedly smug, smile curls his lips as he watches you pop the second half into your mouth. “Good yeah?” 

You nod and shyly glance his way. He surprises you by not pushing his teasing further and the two of you spend the rest of the night talking. He occasionally passes you another mochi or even rips some in half to share if it’s one from the variety box where only one got put in. There’s a cream flavored one he does this with that both of you are particularly fond of. You realize at some point that he’s actually let you do most of the talking. Getting you talk about your favorite shows and hobbies, what sort of places you’d like to go. You’re so used to him normally dominating conversation that it makes you feel a little off balance once you realize it. You could try rationalizing it as him just being tired but It feels like once again on this mission you’re seeing another more thoughtful side to him.

Somewhere around four am you finally doze off in your chair. You’d have an hour and a half to rest before you’d need to get up and ready to go for the morning flight. Careful to not wake you, Satoru drapes his hoodie over you. He smiles as you curl up with it, snuggling into his warmth that still clings to the fabric. He’s about to go inside to get changed into his uniform when he pauses looking back at you. So cute all curled up with your cheek pressed into the red fabric, getting just a bit of rice flour on it. He takes out his phone and takes a quick picture. His heart stutters for a moment when after the flash goes off you grumble and bury your face deeper into the hoodie. When you don’t do anything else though he smiles to himself, looks at the picture and then goes inside to get changed. 

You’re woken up by Riko later who’s giving you a sly look with a hint of blush to her cheeks. “So what did you do last night?” She pokes your cheek. 

You blink at her in sleepy confusion, still even trying to remember where you are and what year it is, let alone what you did last night. Then she points to your chest where you’re wrapped up in and clinging to a red hoodie

The ensuing commotion on the balcony draws three curious stares to the two of you. 

Suguru glances toward Satoru not even needing to voice his question. 

“Just talked until they fell asleep. Didn’t want them to get cold,” he gives a half shrug, playing it off. 

Suguru’s hum is as knowing as his smile. 

___

How? How was this possible? Somehow the sight before you is even harder to understand than the blade through Gojo’s chest had been.  You watch as Riko’s blood slips away, soaking into the stone floor at your feet. Your brain screams as you look at her unmoving form on the ground. One moment it was decided that she’d get to go on living and then in the next she was… How’d this even happen? Gojo was supposed to have.. Your mind screams at what this could mean, not wanting to comprehend it. Then the strange man from before speaks and like a puppet with its strings pulled your head jerks toward him. The only thing that cuts through the buzz in your brain is when he says he killed Satoru. 

“Is that so? Then die!” Your eyes move to Suguru, his curses making your hair stand on end as they emerge on either side of you. “___, I’ll make an opening and then you go to Satoru, maybe it’s not too late.” 

You’re torn, part of you wants to remain by Suguru’s side to help him fight, to maybe know he’s okay, but the other part of you desperately wants to get to Satoru like he’s telling you to. You swallow and nod. “Please be careful,” Your voice is tight, shaken, it makes you feel weak. 

“Tch, I won’t stop them. They can go to him all they like, it won’t make a difference.”

You grit your teeth and clench your fists before dashing past the man. 

“If you back down now the two of you can still walk away.” You hear the man say before the sounds of fighting break out. You push yourself to run harder.

When you see Kuroi’s body outside the elevator you have to stop. You feel sick and you can’t stop yourself from throwing up. You’re hunched over, arms on your knees, retching, desperately trying to grasp your composer. Taking several shaking steps to close  the distance between you you check for a pulse and when you find none it truly hits you that the three of you failed. You couldn’t save Riko, you couldn’t even keep Kuroi safe. You stumble back a step before running into the elevator, willing it to move faster. You need to get to Satoru. 

Reaching the surface and nearing where you remember the fight starting all you see is devastation. No, not just devastation, you also see a swarm of fly heads gathered around a still figure lying on a raised surface at the center of a crater. Rage and grief sear through your veins and without you fully willing it to one of your weapons form in your hands, a large axe with a serrated edge of teeth where a blade would normally be, a truly ugly and fleshy thing still pulsing with its own life. Your body moves and you cut through the fly heads, a slash of cursed energy going beyond the initial strike of the blade. The fly head’s disintegrate and Satoru’s hair ruffles in the wind. 

God there’s so much blood, soo fucking much that you don’t even know where to start as you fall to your knees by his head. “S-senpai? Satoru-senpai, please, you have to be okay-” You choke on unbidden tears as you pull his head onto your lap. This was all too much. Riko, Kuroi and now..  “Satoru, this isn’t funny, you gotta get up.” Your tears fall on his face, mixing with his blood as they slide down. “You’re the strongest.. You gotta get up. Please Suguru is fighting that monster now, we need you, i can’t- i want-” You sob, hanging your head and curling around him, letting your forehead touch his, uncaring that his blood is getting on your face as well as your lap. His blue eyes once so full of life stare blankly at you, all the warmth of them from the previous night gone in a brutal wash of blood. “You can’t be gone, not yet..” you choke on tears feeling useless. There was no way you could even begin to staunch the bleeding of so many wounds in so many places. “Satoru.. Satoru please..” His name falls from your lips like a prayer.

You’re not sure how long you sit there frozen with him. Sickness twisting in your stomach at the grief. If you were thinking clearly you probably would have gone back to Suguru or even tried to call in some sort of medical help. 

“You should have listened when I said it wouldn’t make a difference.” 

You jerk your head up toward the voice, watching as he walks around the crater, not really paying attention to you.  If he’s here then.. Then that means. Suguru too. Blood rushes in your ears and your axe rematerializes as you gently place Satoru’s head down and rise back to your feet. 

The man stops and glances over his shoulder. “I’d rethink that if I were you.” 

You don’t. You can’t. You’re moving, driven purely by rage and grief. Never have you hated someone so much in your life as you hate this man right now. Your axe screeches as you swing it, the initial slash cutting into the stonework where the man had once stood followed by the shockwave of cursed energy tearing a further path into it.

Too slow. You were too slow. You need a faster weapon. You watch the man land unharmed and you can feel him assessing you like it was the first time he was really looking at you since this all began. Your axe seems to absorb back into you while a lance of linked hands takes its place, the sharp end starts like two hands pressed together in prayer until the fingers fuse together into a sharp blade. Logically you knew that if Satoru and Suguru couldn’t kill him you had no chance. But there’s no logic to be had in grief, not in grief as raw as this. 

“You know, I don’t plan on killing you. It could be just as troublesome as killing that boy down below would have been. You curse manipulators are a real pain.” He cracks his neck. “I don’t have an issue leaving you crippled though.”

You lunge, trying to impale the large man, and perhaps with a slower, less skilled opponent, they would have been a shredded up pin cushion by now. You hadn’t even managed to cause a scratch and one moment your weapon is in your hands and the next it’s gone, you don’t stop to think about it, instinct driving you to summon another.

“Tch those hands of yours are a real pain, you know that?”

He’s directly behind you. 

Before you can do anything he’s grabbed your arms and pulled them back as far as they’ll naturally go. Time slows as you feel his knee plant in the middle of your back. There’s screaming and you realize it’s yours accompanied by several sickening pops and cracks. Your blade falls from your hand and you follow to the ground soon after. 

Gasping, all your eyes can focus on is Satoru’s body just beyond the other side of the crater. That changes as suddenly your vision is taken up by the large man crouching in front of you. “I warned you, you know.” he tips his head to the side and scratches his neck, then reaches for your hair, yanking your head up to focus on him. “Really a waste of a pretty little thing like you.” The grin he aims at you is more like a baring of teeth than a smile. You grit your teeth and glare. “Ooh now that’s a scary look-” You spit in his face. 

With his free hand he wipes away your spit then rises to his feet, still holding you by your hair. “Now why’d you have to go and do that?”  You’re dangling like a helpless kitten, your arms hanging uselessly at your sides. Then the man’s fist crushes into your abdomen and the world goes dark. 

Thank you all so much for reading! I've really been enjoying working on this series. It has couple more parts to it that I'm working on. Got some juicy scenes planned that will delve more into the actual love aspect of it but it was important to cover the events of hidden inventory first. Again so I'm so glad people are enjoying my self indulgent story. If part one hadn't gotten such a kind response it would have remained a drabble. Part 5 may take a bit more time to come out because i've been writing like a madman and I want to take a break to draw. Maybe I'll even draw art for this who knows. But def want to pace myself so I don't burn myself out on this story since I do love it.

Here's art for the first part of this chapter!

tag list (if you want to ask to be added to it you must have your age in your bio. I will not add ageless of underage blogs to my tag lists since my blog has Minor DNI policy) : @strawberrystepmom @nanamikentoseyebags @icy-spicy @gojoest @Porridesblog

[gojoscalico]

Turn Back Time || f i n a l

Summary: You were never sure when it started to fall apart but it did. 10 Years later and now you're facing him again. Will it reignite the feelings you both once had for one another? Or will you both end up walking away from each other once again? Word Count: 1116 a/n: sorry yall i got locked out of my account on my computer but I was able to get it back and also have a new story coming!! But I hoped you all enjoyed this story and hope to see yall in my next one Tags: @coffee-on-a-rainyautumn @thefictionalcharacterssimp @picievi @tqd4455 @lenasvoid @gojosatorubrainrot @yozora7154 @luciiferian <-previous

==four years later==

“Mommy!” You looked down at the little guy pulling at your dress. Giggling as you bent over to carry him into your arms. “That was the first time you called me mommy Haru, buuuut did you brush your teeth and wash your face?” The little boy smiled as he showed you his teeth with pride. “Squeaky cwean just like you showed me!” Mesmerized by the little one’s cuteness you squashed him in between your arms while embellishing him in kisses. “You’re too cuuuuute I can’t. Ugh…and your cute little teddy sweater…did you put that on all by yourself?” The little boy jumped down from your arms, twirling around as he placed both his hands on the side of his body. “Hehe, Papa has been showing me how to put my clothes on! Haru did good?” 

You laugh as you notice the pants were on backwards but how can you tell him when he was so proud. “Very good but let’s fix your pants or Papa will make fun of you! Also we have to go pick up Papa and your uncle. So why don’t you put on those shoes and grab your bag?” Haru gifts you with a big smile as he runs towards the living room grabbing his bag you had put together and putting his shoes on. “Don’t forget your hat and Kiko.” Haru looks up at you as he runs into your bedroom grabbing his stuffed frog and yellow hat, running back to your side eagerly grabbing your hands as you open the door to your home. 

“Haru!” You looked at Suguru and Satoru as Haru ran up to Suguru. “Papa! I missed you.” You smiled as Satoru ran to you, placing a kiss on your lips. “And I missed you.” Suguru rolls his eyes as Riko grabs Haru’s bag from your hand. “Thank you for watching him, while we were both gone.” You smiled at Rika handing her Haru’s Kiko. “Anytime, Don’t get mad but he picked up a habit while you were gone.” Rika laughed as she gave Haru a kiss on the forehead, “Is he calling you mommy too?” 

“Too? Ugh Now I am heartbroken. Who can he possibly be calling Mommy other than me?” Rika laughed at your remark, “Shoko, Nobara, Yuji and even Megumi.” You let out a fake sob, “Not Megumi and Yuji. Haru here I thought I was special.” Haru laughs as he pulls on your skirt signaling you to get down. Following little Haru’s orders you bent down to his level where he placed a kiss on your cheek giggling as he ran behind Suguru. “You are special. Because I am going to marry you when I’m older. And I only call those who I love mommy. Because I love mommy.” He said giggling into his hands. His innocence makes you want to smother him in thousands of kisses. Wishing that if you were to have a kid that he would be as cute as Haru.

“You little brat! You can’t marry her because she’s already my wife.” Satoru mocked as he stuck his tongue out at the little three-year-old. Laughing, you nudged Satoru. Only his childishness would take a child’s little crush seriously. “Come on Satoru I think you might lose to a kid. He even slept with me last night.” Satoru looked at the little runt as he ran towards him, picking him up and throwing him up in the air. “Why did the little monsters scare you?” He giggled as Haru pouted, “N-No I was cold! And Y/N was the one that was scawed so she asked me if I could sleep next to herw and I was feewing nice! You think just because you’re mommy’s bwothew I won’t fight you?!” Everyone laughed at Haru’s cute little spiel. You looked at Riko, the only way to save her from her destiny was to make her a part of the Gojo family. No one was able to stop Satoru from doing it, because who would dare to defy the honored one. Once she was a Gojo she was untouchable, she was safe.

“That’s right. I was scared. Give my future husband a break.” You played along while pinching Haru’s cheeks.

“Satoru holding a baby while standing next to Y/N. What a sight. When are you two gonna have one of your own? This is a sight that we can all get used to.” Shoko stated as she pulled up with her twins and Haibara. Satoru smiled at you as he kissed your cheeks right at the spot Haru had kissed even if he was a kid there was no way he'd let another man kiss his wife. “Don’t worry we will get right on it.” You shook your head laughing, digging into your purse as you pulled out an envelope. “Actually…maybe sooner than you all think.” Everyone watched as you pulled out a piece of paper from the envelope. “I’m pregnant.” 

Everyone stood still in shock, you watched Satoru’s expression go from being his playful self to a more serious tone as he put Haru down. “Wait…seriously?” You nodded, still holding up the paper as he picked you up, placing a kiss on your lips. “Oh my god…am I allowed to carry you like that?” You giggled as you pulled him in for another kiss, “Of course…I’m pregnant, not made of glass.” Satoru gave you the biggest smile he has ever made all the years you’ve known him as everyone started to gather around you. “Finally. Welcome to the mom’s club!” Shoko yelled as she embraced you. 

You weren’t going to lie. You were afraid. You didn’t know what it would be like being a mother with a kid that you weren’t just babysitting but you sure as hell was gonna try. If your mother did anything for you it was to teach you how a mother should not be. You smiled at your friends as they all congratulated the two of you. When you felt a sense of relief and happiness like your body was telling you that this is where you belonged. Right here at this moment. Everything you had been through was for you to be here. Looking back in your fucked up life. You knew what you weren’t going to do. You knew that even if you were afraid Satoru would be next to you. You weren’t alone anymore. You have friends you can call family now. Family that was willing to die for you. Family that will help you become the best mother you can be. And right  next to you was a man that loved you more than anything in the world.

[princessofanarchy]

Pt. 2

I came up with part two a lot quicker than I thought I would. thanks so much for the interest and I hope you enjoy this part as well! <3

The last time Gojo was in Okinawa was more than a decade before. He could almost hear the sound of Riko's gay laughter and see Suguru's smiling face. He hadn't gone back; partially because of all that transpired afterwards, partially because he hadn't any reason to. But something called him to come here, to stand at the beach where sand gave way to the waves. Was it the good memories he had from here? Was it the ever-increasing yearning for a break? For some peace.

Then, the sound of your voice reached him on the sea breeze. He could have been imagining, considering you hadn't left his mind after all this time; but he knew too well the difference between his mind and reality.

He turned sharply, wondering how, after three years of keeping himself away from you, did an impulsive vacation put you two in the same place at the same time.

Many thoughts flashed through his mind in the split second it took him to look your way. Should he just slip away and hope you didn't notice him?  Should he stay on the island, observe you from afar? Should he approach you, like his heart so desperately want to? Should he run to you? Should he take you into his arms and relish the feel of your body against his and the scent of your skin? Should he-

His thoughts slowed and stood still. You looked as beautiful as the last time he allowed himself to lay eyes on you. Your smile is radiant, lighting up your angelic face from the inside out. His breath caught. Then he noticed the child on your hip. And it took longer than it should have for him to continue breathing.

Shit.

Shit.

Shit.

His thoughts picked up pace again. You're holding a child with your hair colour and texture as far as he could tell. A child that could be no more than three years old……

Christ.

If he hadn't felt wretched about leaving you before, he felt it then. The thought of you, sad, alone, and pregnant -

Shit.

In the seconds it took him to arrive at that conclusion and make the decision to walk over to you, the breeze pulled your hat right off your head and rest it at his feet.

Your eyes met his, and the world stilled.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your house was a short walk away from the beach, situated on a grassy bluff. You set your son down when you step through the door and he toddles off, making a beeline for the living room. You watch him go, smiling, your heart warmed just by seeing him so happy and full of energy.

"It's a nice place you've got here."

Your smile falls, and you glance at Satoru over your shoulder as he enters the door behind you. Your heart rate remains unchanged, so you turn away, thankful. It only means that you'll be able to get through whatever conversation you were going to have without losing yourself to your emotions.

"The kitchen's that way." You gesture with a tilt of your head, ignoring his compliment. "Make yourself at home."

You can't see the way he frowns at your back as you go after your son. Or the way he stops, looking on like a man awestruck, by the scene you create when you crouch down before the toddler, a tender smile on your face, and he looks at you with the pure, unadulterated love that only an innocent child would have for his mother. Something twinges in his chest; possibly regret intertwining itself with the love he always held for you.

He hasn't much of a clue how the imminent conversation will go, with the way things are now. Whatever the reason was for him chancing upon you on the beach today, Gojo Satoru had made a decision.

He's not walking away from you or his son.

[imagine-knb]

this with the rest of gom + kagami, kasamatsu and tatsuya too, pretty please?

love your works <3

Previous request: "How would team Too react if Momoi teased them by declaring "I got to see your girlfriend naked before you did!" ?" For Kuroko and Kagami, I'm gunna say it was Riko instead who's teasing them since that would make a bit more sense. Aaaand for Kasamatsu and Himuro... Well, we'll just pretend they know Momoi that well, haha! Admin Neon

Kuroko: "Please don't tease me like that."

The words leave Kuroko in a sigh, one that Riko almost doesn't hear. OUtwardly, he seems unbothered by her teasing, but the slight furrow of his brow is evidence that it bothers him at least slightly. The next time he sees you, there's a small pout on his face. He gets a little clingier as well, taking quick peeks at your clothed body as if he could somehow see through them for a second if he tried hard enough. Maybe he was jealous after all.

Kagami: "Does that even matter?!"

Despite the volume of his voice and his outwardly angry appearance, Kagami is incredibly embarrassed by Riko's teasing. His brows furrow, he squeezes his eyes shut, and the bridge of his nose nearly matches the color of his hair. He doesn't want to admit — even to himself — that he's jealous of Riko and he gets a little snappy at anyone who implies it. Give him some time and you might even start to see him pout angrily.

Kise: "Momoicchi, that's not fair! Even if it's true, don't tell me that!"

His voice comes out as a whine as Kise practically clings to Momoi's arm. When she asks him if he'd like the details, however, she's surprised when his attitude does a complete one-eighty and he tells her under no circumstance is she allowed to reveal anything about you to him. He wants to discover everything about you on his own, unwrap you from the confines of your clothes himself and map out your skin by his own hands. It's sweet, if not a little lecherous.

Kasamatsu: "H-hah?! What do you mean?!"

He's instantly red, thoughts of you — or more specifically, what you look like — flooding his mind. Kasamatsu was already stuttering when Momoi walked up to him with that teasing smile of hers, still nervous around women despite his lasting relationship, but the words she'd uttered had him absolutely flustered. He walks away from Momoi stiffly and tries to move on with his day, but even hours after that, he goes red every time he happens to look your way.

Midorima: "..."

Deep down, Midorima knows that any sort of response would be a win for Momoi. He tries to hold back from revealing his thoughts on his face, but there's a subtle twitch of his brow and a wrinkle on his forehead that give him away. He's annoyed. Annoyed that she would deem this appropriate to tease him about and, if he's being honest, annoyed that she was right. But he would never tell her that, choosing instead to seeth inside.

Murasakibara: "That's what you think, Momoi-chin."

The monotony of his tone don't match with the implication of his words, so Momoi's a bit taken aback from Murasakibara's response. She asks him to elaborate, but that only puts a lazy smile on the tall man's face. Extending a hand to pat the top of Momoi's head, he doesn't respond to her inquiry. She doesn't notice it, but there's a small twitch in his fingers — a resistance to ruffle her hair hard or squeeze. He's trying to hold back his jealousy.

Himuro: "You really shouldn't be going around telling people that."

The look in Himuro's eyes is almost disappointed, though it's hard for Momoi to even tell. She ends up thinking that her teasing hadn't worked on the man, but the second her back is turned away from him, there is an annoyed, small pout on his face. His eyes seem to narrow into a glare pointed at the back of her head and, as if feeling his malice, Momoi shudders. When she turns back to look at him however, he's looking at her blankly.

Akashi: "Oh, you think so?"

The smirk that Akashi gives Momoi almost has her recoiling. Despite the upward curve of his lips, she really can't read the expression in his eyes. Was he angry? Did he know she was lying? Was he implying that she hadn't been first? The fact that he didn't elaborate on his question made her feel even more uncomfortable, but she ends up giving Akashi a strained laugh before doubling down. It doesn't seem to affect him however.

[hopingforcoordinates]

just started an unkindness reread (not my first or last to be sure) and i'm interested in one line neil thinks internally in the first chapter where he basically says he would prefer crippling panic to the "mental abyss he sometimes lost himself in after a bad night." i know neil starts noticing his own psychosis/trauma responses after leaving the nest, which makes sense as he now a) has people to not only witness it but to react and care about it, b) he's in a safer environment which can induce responses the brain/body ironically otherwise wouldn't under continuous duress and therefore c) they seem more intense to him comparatively. i was wondering if neil ever did show signs of extreme dissociation or catatonia or other symptoms while in the nest, i'm curious what he meant when he referenced the "mental abyss." i also think it's really interesting how neil is kind of afraid of apathy even if he has to exchange it for panic and i wonder how much of that has to do with neil using his anger as a galvanizing force and emotional shield. an interesting foil to andrew. on top of that, i get the vibe that while riko would like to see neil beaten down and meek because he's slightly afraid of his temper (or what neil's temper means for riko: that neil is a rabid dog who will bite if his leash slips), whereas the foxes learn to be concerned when neil gets a little too docile lol. thank you if you're able to answer, i know the first chapter was written eons ago. 🩷

CW for abuse, dissociation, depression, mental illness

Yeah, so Neil did go through periods of dissociation/brain fog/apathy, especially during his first year in the Nest. He says he prefers panic to apathy because, while panic is very distressing, it's Something at least. Same with anger. Whenever he got lost in his brain fog, he felt nothing. He was very detached from himself and completely unmotivated to do anything. Not being able to function properly put both him and Jean at greater risk for punishment. In his mind, sinking into an apathetic state means Jean will get hurt, so his apathy is another source of guilt and shame.

Another side of it is that whenever he wasn't able to get out of bed or get himself moving, he became more of a "burden" on Jean, which he also feels guilty for because Jean struggled more than he did with depression in general. Neil really internalized the idea that it's his job to keep both of their heads above water.

You're right that Riko does prefer to see Neil beaten down/meek, but sometimes (like Neil's first year in the Nest, which Neil doesn't remember well) Neil's behavior can be unnerving when he stops caring about everything up to and including his own safety. Riko feels much safer when Neil has something to keep him grounded and under control. Also, yes, the Foxes do get concerned when Neil gets a bit too quiet/docile because they can tell that something is off--most of them have first or second hand experience with depression, so they can recognize the warning signs even if they don't fully understand what's going on.

Hopefully this answer was coherent. Thank you for the message!! I hope you enjoy your reread <3

[hexpea]

Ch. 11: A Question of Immortality

You didn't need to confess to Suguru after all. His declaration was met with your eager reciprocation only to finish what you had started on the countertop there on the sofa. 

Thursday had arrived, your fourth day back from the dead, and Suguru was able to set you up with an appointment to see Tengen later that afternoon. It was an honor considering hardly anyone was invited beyond that final barrier. But Tengen took a particular interest in your case and wanted to know more about what you had experienced.

"Why isn't Suguru guiding me down here?" You asked Satoru as the two of you made your way down to Tengen's residence below the school. 

It looked almost like some kind of dark dungeon. Brick covered many of the walls and the lights were a dim red color which gave off an eery feeling. You certainly couldn't wait to get your answers and get out of there. 

"He doesn't come down here anymore," Satoru said almost somberly. He clearly wasn't himself down there, he'd usually be overly cheerful, joking around like some kind of immature kid. 

"What's that mean?" You chuckled as the two of you exited the last long tunnel. In front of you stood the trunk of a large tree, something about it feeling very supernatural. 

"So he hasn't told you what happened down here ten years ago...?" Satoru trailed off with a sigh. 

"No," you gave him a weird look as the two of you paused for a moment in front of the tree. In this moment, you quickly noticed the blood on the floor. It was nearly brown, showing that there was some age to it. 

"Ten years ago, he and I were assigned to find and protect the Star Plasma Vessel, Riko," Satoru began. "A guy named Toji is contracted to kill her, manages to get the best of me..." he hesitated, clearly hating the thought, "and he comes down here to where Riko and Suguru are and shoots her almost immediately. And in front of Suguru. She was only 14."

"That's awful," you mumbled, staring down at the bloodied ground. 

"Yep," Satoru said with a pop of the 'p.' "Told Suguru I was dead, the two of them duke it out but not without Toji saying something incredibly messed up to Suguru after knocking him out. It messed him up real good, I still think he's trying to get over it."

"What did he say?" You asked, voice still in a curious mumble. You knew from general talk that Suguru went through something traumatic that caused him to spiral, but you had never received the details. 

"I wasn't there, so I'm not entirely sure," Satoru sighed, "something about how he was able to take us down without using jujutsu."

"Oh..." you weren't entirely satisfied, making a mental note to ask Suguru about it later. 

"But he was never the same after that. Short while later, he damn near killed an entire village over it," Satoru concluded, placing his hands on his hips, "but luckily we were able to talk him down before it all went down -- to put it short. It actually took quite a while and some rehabilitation to get him thinking straight again."

You didn't say anything in response. It all sounded so intense. Your Suguru? A budding murderer ten years ago? You couldn't believe it, refused to until you heard it from him. No wonder he had been busy trying to redeem himself.

"Anyway, if you go down those stairs, pass the gate, and head toward the base of the tree you'll find Tengen," Satoru smiled over at you. 

"Right, thanks," you mumbled and began your decent.

Not only were you emotionally thrown off by the anecdote Satoru left you, but you were incredibly nervous to meet Tengen. When you were in class all those years ago, Tengen was almost like a school legend. No one had seen them, so it was almost like they didn't exist.

"Hello, Y/N," Tengen greeted as you passed the final barrier, the one where only those invited could enter. "Welcome."

"H-hello," you replied back, cautiously stepping into the room. The room itself seemed a lot more welcoming than the area you had just entered in from, though this room was nearly vacant besides Tengen sitting in a chair, another empty chair waiting for you. 

"I hear you have some questions about immortality," Tengen smiled at you. Their four eyes blinked simultaneously, nearly sending a shiver down your spine. It was clear they were more curse than human at this point, likely because the previous merger was unsuccessful. 

"I do," you replied slowly, taking a seat in the empty chair after they used their hand to motion an offer. 

Tengen had what looked to be copies of your files. They clearly educated themselves on your situation. "Your case is interesting, to say the least," they smiled, "your immortality isn't immortality at all."

"It's not?" You furrowed your brow, now suddenly confidently interested. They shook their head in response.

"Nowhere in your file or the file on your inherited technique mention immortality. Corporealization, yes, but there's no reason you should have been able to come back from the death you experienced," they explained. Your eyes nearly burst out of your head in shock and disbelief.

"So then, why am I here? How can I be here?" You shook your head, jaw hanging slightly open. 

"Well," they sighed, "I have your file here, but I also have the school's history file as well as the Geto family file from that time period. The conclusion I was able to come to involves potentially one curse and one binding vow, one more obvious than the other."

"I'm listening," you nodded, now leaning forward out of eagerness. 

"The first is the curse that lies within the Geto family," Tengen began, "and your association with Suguru Geto's grandfather, Sengoku. It appears as though he may have...cursed you accidentally. We have a similar situation at the moment with one of our second year students, Yuta Okkotsu and the special grade curse, Rika Orimoto."

"I think Satoru may have mentioned them to me at some point. Rika was the little girl who died in an accident, right? And Yuta had accidentally cursed her?"

"Correct," Tengen nodded once. "With this journal," Tengen held up the familiar memo book that Suguru had shown you, "it seems as though Sengoku accidentally placed a curse on you. I believe your inherited technique allowed you to maintain shape rather than turn into some type of monster like Rika."

"So what about the second?" You asked. The Geto family situation certainly felt obvious, but this mysterious second one, you had no idea what it could be about. 

"The second revolves around your death and the school's incident with curse user Kenjaku," Tengen sighed. "This is all my speculation, I should forewarn you."

"Sure," you nodded, eagerly trying to egg them on to continue. 

"Your former body was never recovered, which means there's a copy of you somewhere," Tengen explained.

"What? That makes no sense. Surely that body would have decomposed by now," you laughed nervously and shook your head.

"You would think so, but Kenjaku is quite intelligent. And within the years you've been gone, there have been incredible revelations regarding corpse preservation," Tengen noted. You were still baffled, but continued listening. "Kenjaku is a...body jumper, to put it plainly. It's possible they have your body and are either presently using it or are saving it for later. In any case, you may still be here because that body is still here."

"So you're saying the 'body' I have now isn't real?" You scoffed, completely confused by Tengen's explanation.

They shook their head. "Not exactly, I mean in regard to your immortality. You should have permanently died the moment your throat was cut, and clearly you did. But you came back roughly 80 years later. The question to that is why. It could be either the Geto family curse or Kenjaku's actions or both."

"And you aren't sure?" You were nearly too stunned to speak. Tengen nodded somberly. 

"I'm afraid not. I have my hunches, of course," they sighed before continuing. "Kenjaku's technique operates using a binding vow to enter corpses of their choosing. It's possible that the soul within the body remains dormant while Kenjaku uses it. But because you are able to separate your soul from your physical body with your technique...it may be the reason why you are able to live independently while Kenjaku uses it. In other words, perhaps you awoke because Kenjaku entered your first body. But I don't have all of the information on how their technique operates in order to tell you factual information."

"I understand," you nodded in thought. "So I guess that means if Kenjaku's binding vow ends with my body, I could ultimately die. Which means I could die at any moment because we don't know when they're going to ditch my original corpse."

"That's very likely if Kenjaku's binding vow is what is keeping you here. If it's the Geto family curse, then you may remain and may already be aging as normal."

"And another question could be why has Kenjaku chosen now to enter my body?" You looked up at Tengen in a bit of a panic. 

"Kenjaku's motives are already a mystery. It's best to think of them as the mad scientist of the jujutsu world with goals lying in the realm of evolution," Tengen attempted to explain. "It's possible they've found a use in pretending to be you in order to evolve humanity."

You paused in thought for a moment, taking in everything that you learned from Tengen. You took a deep breath to calm your nerves.

"Thank you, Master Tengen," you smiled politely at the creature in front of you. "I think the rest is up to me to figure out."

Tengen nodded once. "If you feel like you need more consult, don't hesitate to ask," they smiled back as you stood up. 

You gave a single bow and turned to leave. In a way, you felt like you had more questions than answers. 

"Oh, and Y/N, one more thing," Tengen called out to you. You turned around briefly to listen. "About the Geto family curse, it's important to tell you that I can sense Sengoku's energy. Looking back on it...I'd say I've been sensing it for the past 28 years or so."

"Tengen..." you found yourself choking on your words a bit, wondering if he was really telling you what you were thinking. 

"He's not gone, Y/N. And he may not be here, but, perhaps, he's simply someone else and doesn't realize it," Tengen grinned at you as if that was a completely normal thing to say. 

You were too stunned to reply or even fathom one of the many questions in your head. You simply had to head back up from where you came.