#now I kinda want to mod it further...

[girlonthelasttrain]

Finally, finally managed to make the Squier Jazzmaster I found a couple of months ago decently playable and damn, it might be the most resonant guitar I have even though it's pretty banged up

[pompadorbz]

FINALLY FINISHED MY QPHIL 3.0 DESIGN HOORAY (cant wait to. redesign it again in like 3 months.) (CHECK UNDER THE CUT FOR MY SILLY DESIGN NOTES!!)

I think I said this before but i so. SO BADLY wanted him to have a sleep theme since I always loved how his presence on the island was kinda up in the air. Is it a dream? Is it not? When he goes between the island and hardcore is that change really happening? Who knows.

The idea of making his usual outfit more like a housecoat was super appealing to me, so I opted for this open housecoat look with really heavy frills which were super fun to figure out, and I knew from pretty early on that I wanted to give him a quilt pattern SOMEWHERE on his design, so I thought the inside of the coat would do nicely for a sorta "default state". It also meant I could attribute meaning to the symbols and colours I used. wink nudge.

He has a more subtle angel theme, like with the mobile on his walking stick being a halo with the wing placement further emphasizing this, as well as just his generally lighter colour scheme. When I say sleep was his theme I almost more-so imagine it as like. The feeling of waking up in the morning where you're mostly refreshed but still a LITTLE drowsy. Lots of very spring-y, morning colours.

Just some other quick notes, I always really liked the mod in the server where you could have the crows perch on your shoulder and follow cuz of the lantern, so I thought it'd be fun if I made it so brian just straight up WAS the lantern. So I made him look like one of those wall outlet nightlights!! The backpack being kinda cat shaped was COMPLETELY unintentional but a very welcome result. Missa backpack is real.

As for the alternate outfits, I have a bolas one, as well as an ender king one since I deemed those two the most important. For the ender king I weirdly don't have many notes, like it's fairly straightforward (Save for the elephant in the room but now I'm gonna keep my secrets on why that's a thing). The Quilt design is supposed to be a lighter, easier-on-the-eyes version of the no texture pattern, and I imagine that all the goop and gunk on Phil is hidden under the coat. I imagine it'd look fairly similar to canon so just like. imagine it for now. Might draw it one day. MAYBE. There's some tiny additional colour symbolism but I'll hold my tongue on that and let you guys draw your own conclusions there. I WILL say, however, that instead of his theme being sleep, his theme is "nightmare" (and also kinda sleepwalking since both fit).

The Bolas design was SUPER fun to work with. For starters I wanted the three designs to be in three different states. One with the coat, one with the coat reversed, and one without the coat entirely. Since I wanted to do the checker pattern thing with the possession design, having the sleeveless bolas design worked really well for the shape I landed on, even if it wasn't conventional. and SPEAKING of non-conventional design choices, I decided to go against the usual plague doctor + gas mask fusion design. Which might be controversial... But god. The moment I thought of his mask being a falconry hood, the idea just wouldn't leave my mind. Because of this, the full mask is kinda separated into two parts. The eye mask which kinda also mirrors his usual sleep mask, and the gas mask itself (I kept it in a beak shape since it'd feel odd if i made it any other shape for phil, lol). When designing the whole thing I kept thinking about more apocalypse setting clothing. Like mad max. Or the one gag from that one spongebob movie. Lots of leather. And of course, to match the other sleep themes, the Bolas outfit's theme is "fever dream", although its a bit more subtle. It's easily the weirdest design, The pops of green were simultaneously in reference to the friendship emerald... As well as... Well, the green chain right below the chain on the sickness themed design was probably the most tasteful way I could've chosen to get across vomit without it being too on the nose. (also sidenote, I had a few friends compare bolas phil to... a fly. Which wasn't intentional but it's kinda funny that the guy designed after fever dreams looks a little bit like a bug.) Ok thats it for design commentary I'm gonna go to bedge nyow.

[tales-from-syscord]

I believed this happened a couple of years ago? But I'd thought it was a very peculiar experience for me to share.

So, I used to be in this traumagenic server with what seems like a lot of blacklists and claims to be POC friendly. It was one of our few DID/OSDD focused discord servers that we joined when we first suspected we have DID. (We got diagnosed a year later.)

I remembered being in a ticket with one of the mods because they looked at the names of our alters through pk. They then LITERALLY did some google research on the name origins and made it something like this.

" Hi! We noticed your names may be considered cultural appropriating blablabla

Casey = Irish

Ari = Jewish

Please consider changing your names!"

And then had the nerve to even ask me what my race is, but I felt so uncomfortable?? I said Asian. They want me to specify further. I said Southeast Asian. And if my memory serves me right, they wanted me to specify more than that.

When I looked at that message where I had to change my own and my alter's names, I felt like they were JOKING?? HOW IS CASEY A CLOSED NAME??? It's.. a generic name used by pretty much everyone in the world.

They mentioned how Irish is a closed culture, and I think they mentioned Irish discrimination during the US immigration and all. I understand, but at the same time, Irish itself isn't a closed culture at all?? Not to mention, I've been using Casey as my name for quite some time now.

Ari being linked to Jewish makes no sense to me either. People sometimes use it to shorten the name 'Ariana' for short, but I also see many non-Jewish people also using that name too.

Ari is an alternative spelling of our body's name, so we don't feel weird using our irl body's name (which is Arabic) to the people online. It's not a sense of shame of the body's name but more privacy concerns, easier pronounciation, and having our own individuality.

It's worth mentioning that a lot of Muslim and Christian names are derived from Judaism, too. The Muslim and Christian names just have a different spelling to it, so I don't know what the hell they were thinking.

I felt so mad and felt this was all too ridiculous. I had to keep my cool and leave because what kinda server is this??? That claims to be POC safe?? I'm sorry if I don't sound the most open-minded, but it's just a weird experience to me, really. When I think of cultural appropriating, I would think of taking a name from, let's say, a Romani name or a Tamil name, and then use it without realizing the significance of that culture just because it looks pretty for some aesthetic. Not whatever tf this server was pulling.

As an Irish system, what the fuck?? Casey is definitely not a "closed culture Irish name," LMAO?? You're not overreacting DW anon, that's just wild.

[tellmeallaboutit]

knock knock (Raphael x F!Player)

Chapter 2, In Which You Meet A Tall Dark Stranger 

Chapter 1

SUMMARY: Careful which mods you install for BG3. Did you read the terms and conditions carefully?

TAGS: meta romance, psychological horror, smut, the character is the player, Raphael is after you, you wanted him, you invited him to our world, he accepted your invitation

RATING: explicit

AO3

Chapter 2

The next day, during your lunch break, you made another attempt to persuade Raphael to take his clothes off. The clock struck noon; your private laptop was on the right side of your desk, while your work laptop was on the left, Teams open and your mouse ready to show signs of activity from time to time.

The sun was shining through the wide open window, children playing outside. Idyllic. Nothing sinister could be happening in broad daylight with those happy sounds in the background. The horror movies told you so. Except for Midsommar.

Well, screw Midsommar, then. This isn’t Sweden.

"All right, I'm going to set some ground rules here," you said to the loading screen. "I can be as creepy as I want to be to you, because you're just a bunch of pixels, but you can't do anything creepy to me, because I'm a human being. Got that? Good."

The sound of your voice made you feel braver.

As you heard the familiar sinister 'you-let-the-villain-win-bad-player' music in the background, you covered your eyes with your hands and peered through splayed fingers.

Then he appeared. Just as you had wished. Perfectly naked, with a stereotypical video game six-pack and just the right amount of body hair. The orange lighting made his skin glow, and his flaccid penis, like that of the game's generic male model, vanished from sight as he strode closer.

Your ears pricked up to listen to the scripted monologue you knew by heart, watching (waiting?) for any hiccups or new animations, the YouTube app on your phone playing the identical scene for comparison.

Everything happened exactly as it should, word for word, save for the speaker’s nudity.

All good. You breathed a sigh of relief and spread your fingers wider to admire Raphael a little better. 

Same as always. Handsome and charming and completely imaginary, which, now that you thought about it, was the biggest part of his charm. 

"Ta-ta... for now," Raphael's signature line echoed through the room.

"Bravo, Raphael," you praised the screen. "You've done nothing creepy. You have earned your title of Archdevil Supreme."

After waiting for a response that never came, you laughed off your silliness and shook your head. Your laptop was overheating, giving off a slight synthetic smell. Should have upgraded a long time ago. Just need to put enough money aside.

"OK, screenshots," you said. "I wanted to take some screenshots. Do you mind, Raphael? Can I have your consent? They’ll help recruit more followers for you, my liege."

Your phone vibrated. The FaceID gave you a preview of the Discord messages from Queen-of-the-Bored, one of the few Raphaelites you'd actually spoken to directly and felt like you kinda sorta knew.

queen-of-the-bored: ngl that was some really funny joke, we spent the whole night trying to recreate it :-D queen-of-the-bored: you sounded legit worried over that voice message tho haha you: it was legit. check the reddit thread queen-of-the-bored: which thread

Ok, let me google that for you. You typed in the same search words as yesterday, "Raphael naked mod April prank," clicked on the thread from yesterday, and skimmed through the comments.

“nah not joking there is this naked mod for teenage mutant ninja""

“all dongs appeared MASSIVE on April’s first”

Scrolling further, you realized that was not the correct Raphael - it's Raphael the Turtle, not Raphael the Devil. Why was there so much NSFW content about him? What did people see in turtles?

You quickly corrected your search to "Raphael BG3 naked mod April prank," but it didn’t bring back any relevant results. So, you changed it to "last twenty four hours" just to be thorough.

Didn’t help. Nothing. You were the only to be called a naughty little mouse. The special one.

queen-of-the-bored: which thread dude??? you: my bad it was the turtle queen-of-the-bored: ??? queen-of-the-bored: I am slowly getting worried about you haha

Next step? Contact the mod developer directly? What if they have no idea what you're talking about?

Then what? What were the alternative theories? You've been hacked and doxxed to madness for that one Twitter post that got people waving pitchforks at you? 

There you go, you were scared again. Daytime, sun shining and children playing outside, but there you were, alone in your flat, scared again.

You took a deep breath and looked at the screen. "All right, I understand, Mr Archdevil Supreme. No screenshots. I'll uninstall the mod and I apologise for my disrespectful behaviour."

You couldn't bear to see Raphael's face on the screen again so you hit ctrl alt delete instead of Escape and stared blankly at the Task Manager.

Next, you uninstalled the mod that had caused all this trouble. Then you went to Tumblr and removed the reblog of Raphael in a cat playsuit with the tag "my poor miau miau". Then you deleted your bookmarks on AO3. Your Twitter account was beyond repair, so you deleted it altogether.

None of these actions made you feel any better. You grabbed a quick cup of shrimp noodles, but eating it only made you feel worse. As you tasted the sodium on your tongue, you came to a realisation: what you needed was to go the fuck outside.

You had been stuck in your flat and home office since the start of the pandemic, chronically online. Online work, online colleagues, online friends, who was the last real person you saw, talked to and hugged?

Your mum, probably. 

Oh yes, no wonder you were going mad. You need to get out there and meet some real people. You opened Discord, quickly scrolled past the sketch of Tav giving Raphael head, and typed a message: you needed to touch grass.

queen-of-the-bored: well there is Comic-Con this weekend  you: this is NOT touching grass, this is burning it queen-of-the-bored: true you: besides not going alone queen-of-the-bored: maybe Raph will keep you company 😈 

What? Such a strange thing to say. Or was it? Who the hell was that behind the screen anyway? Apparently someone called Sammy from Ohio. Supposedly. Wasn’t she the one who recommended this mod?

She was.

Come on, you're just letting your paranoia get the best of you.

queen-of-the-bored: oh BTW I found THE hottest Raph smut  queen-of-the-bored: mind the tags it's so hot but soooooo fucked up queen-of-the-bored: just read it trust me thank me later

Who the hell were you, Sammy from Ohio, Korilla? You put the phone down and started pacing around your small flat. It was not much to pace around, only forty-two square meters. 

At least you rent a flat in a building with other people and not some house at the edge of the forest. Strangers live below you, above you and on either side of you. They don't know you and you don't know them... but they were there, just in case...

Just in case.

"You know what?" you said to your computer. "I need a break. I need to focus on my mental health. Self-care, Raphael. I'm not playing with you. For now".

The moment you finished speaking, your phone lit up again with another notification. This time it was an email. You made a mental note to start managing your notifications better.

Did you enjoy your Devil Dick © - Natural Red experience? We know you will be back for more 😈 Check out the new...

What the fuck? Oh no, no, click away and make a mental note to never order from Bad Dragon again with customer satisfaction emails like this. It's borderline harassment. You ordered from them ONCE, as a joke, just to see what ridges might feel like.

Not as good as the smut had promised you,

Private. Private stuff. Between you and your bed drawer. Between you and your browser. God, how much stuff you have in your browser history. You should have used incognito mode more often.

Would that have helped? 

"That was low, Raphael," you muttered. "Or is it Haarlep today?"

You glanced around your room before angling your computer screen towards the wall, then retrieved the Devil Dick © from its hideaway in your bedside drawer. Your fingers grazed over the silicon ridges as you swiftly stashed it away in a box beneath the bed.

"If you must know, it was too big for me. Flattered?"

Crawling out from under the dusty bed, you looked up and realized for the first time that anyone in the building could easily peep into the flat if they tried hard enough or cared enough to do so.

Enough is enough.

You need to hydrate, you need to eat some vegetables, you need to start jogging again and you definitely... you definitely need to go out and talk to some real people. Maybe it's time to get back on Bumble and try your luck again. Who knows, it might actually work this time.

He wouldn't like that.

Where did that thought just come from? He wouldn't like it, who the hell cares what some imaginary devil thinks.

Standing up straight, you pointed a finger at the screen in front of you.

"Raphael, just so we are clear, you and I: I really like you. I do PR for you every day for free. You don't have to scare me to get my attention. You should appreciate me and be nice to me. I'm the best agent you'll ever have.”

Having made your point, you put on your running shoes and AirPods. It brought back memories of all the times you had jogged through the nearby park. Afterwards you'd sit on the bench and eat an ice-cream, watching couples, happy and glowing, watching families with children, happy and stressed, watching people living their lives in a reality parallel to yours, and then you'd come home and go into a reality parallel to theirs.

The AirPods picked up right where they left off last time.

I want to hold you close, soft breasts, beating heart, as I whisper in your ear

I wanna fucking tear you apart

You removed the AirPods from your earlobes and exhaled. This wasn’t Raphael's fault. This is She Wants Revenge, you have listened to it a thousand times. You knew the lyrics, they hadn't changed. 

You can't even listen to music anymore. Pull yourself together. 

Get some vitamins from the pharmacy.

Touch some goddamn grass.

***

You stuck to your digital and physical diet until the weekend, and as a reward, nothing happened. No oddly timed emails, no strange messages, no random phone calls. Maybe it was your pitch talk or the vitamins you started taking, but either way, Raphael was on his best behavior, and so were you. 

No Tumblr, no AO3. Didn't even touch Steam. Got into a highbrow podcast about the Roman Empire.

You set a new personal record for days without 'self-indulgence', as Raphael would put it, although that wasn't really the intention. Something always seemed to interrupt - whether it was the loud hum of the fridge (which was always obnoxious) or the flickering light in the hallway (which had been broken for over a week). 

By Friday, you had finally finished the work projects you had been putting off for months. The job wasn't too bad, but it hadn't been any fun for years, if it ever had been. You did the bare minimum to get the paycheck and keep the job, and your employer kept the paycheck at the bare minimum to keep you. If there was anything else you could do, you would do something else.

Still, this was probably the most productive week you had in years. You scrubbed your flat from top to bottom twice and cleared your wardrobe of clothes that no longer fit.

You were proud of yourself.

Gradually your sense of security began to return. You tried not to dwell too much on the incident with the naughty little mouse; if you didn't think about it, it almost felt like it hadn't happened.

On Friday, you plucked up the courage to play BG3 again, wandered through Baldur's Gate, avoiding the House of Hope for the time being, had a few fights, played the graveyard scene with Astarion (daring, but a small part of you hoped it would make Raphael jealous enough to come out again), and shut it down. 

Nothing out of the ordinary.

You hadn't planned to go to Comic-Con. For one thing, it was on the other side of the city, in the business district of the convention centre, so it would take at least an hour to get there. Secondly, going alone just felt... weird.

It was not until Friday night that a little voice in your head started to whisper, "Why not? Maybe you'll meet some like-minded people”. Make some friends you can actually touch (not in a creepy way). 

It's a better chance than endlessly swiping on Bumble.

Maybe you'll meet...

Neil Newbon. If you can get past the hordes of fangirls. Andrew Wincott. No, Andrew Wincott wouldn't be there; you'd checked beforehand. To be honest, hearing his voice might have been too much for your psyche at that moment.

So you decided to go. You went, and it was as fun as you had imagined it would be - that is, hardly any. The convention hall was huge and crowded, rows and rows of stalls, crowds and crowds of people. Live panel discussions, cosplayers, flashing lights, bright colors, chatter, laughter, very loud, very lively.

Raphael wouldn't last a minute in that chaos.

"Hell is other people," you thought to yourself, quoting Sartre. If you ever met Raphael, you'd quote Sartre to him too. He must know that you read intelligent books and not just fanfiction. 

Some people might be comfortable going to events and eating alone in restaurants, but not you. It's even worse being the odd one out in a group of odd ones. How come all the others had someone to take along? Where did they find all those people in this godforsaken city?

You talked to a few people and a few people talked to you. Nothing really took off. Your mind was elsewhere, to be fair. You were looking for something in the crowd. 

Someone.

It was absurd, yes, but so was what happened this week with the mod. You had met a few Raphael cosplayers, three at least, but they were...

Well, of course they weren't him. But they did a great job with the clothes and the hair and the make-up, and one had really great prosthetic horns, and you touched them and admired them and praised that particular Raphael for all his hard work in creating them.

They were real people, not video game characters that had come to life, and neither were you. You looked down at your jeans, at your thighs, and thought you should start jogging again, and felt even less comfortable in your own skin. 

Then Neil Newbon came along and things quickly became too chaotic for you.

You decided to take a break and walked down the street until you came across a cosy café - none of that generic chain stuff, but something that tried hard to be authentic with pretty flowers in the windows.

Sitting alone at a table for two, you looked down at your phone and opened the Discord chat because you came here to talk to some real people.

In the main chat, there was a heated debate about whether devils are allowed to torture mortals into signing contracts. Both sides presented arguments based on lore, edition contradictions, past precedents and personal conviction. 

A man's voice interrupted you as you typed your own very elaborated opinion of hellish law. "Excuse me, may I?" he asked, his words slightly muffled by the AirPods.

"Sure," you replied with practiced friendliness, not even looking up. That was always your default answer. It's not like you can say no to this kind of request anyway. 

People ask and do a lot of things out of politeness. That was precisely why you took the AirPods out of your ears.

The moment you lifted your eyes to meet the man's, you learned the true meaning of the word 'jumpscare'. Your body jerked upwards, the table shook and the coffee cup tumbled - narrowly missing Raphael.

Raphael. 

Not a man who looked like Raphael, not a man who was dressed like him - Raphael. 

You weren't sure if you made any sound or uttered any words. You probably yelped.

What you did do for sure was gawk.

His skin tone identical; hair slicked back just right; eyes uncannily accurate in hue and shape - down to every wrinkle. A perfectly realistic rendering. Not the uncanny valley type, no, perfectly believable. This is exactly what he would look like if he were real and swapped his fantasy clothes for a business suit.

So this is what it feels like to go completely insane.

Very banal, actually. You are having a psychotic breakdown and no one is even looking at you, except for an imaginary devil.

"Oh my, my apologies," Raphael said as he quickly grabbed napkins to mop up the spreading lake of coffee on the table. "I did not mean to scare you."

Oh, but he did, very much. You could not breathe, your chest encased in an iron brace of fear. It's you who needs to apologise, and apologise fast, and apologise a lot, and beg for mercy. Especially for liking the Twitter art of him being spit-roasted between Yurgir and Haarlep. 

If you only knew... you would never have clicked on it... absolutely never... all those posts you wrote... 

"Raphael?" you managed to squeak out. “I didn’t mean it, I swear.”

This must be how a deer feels in the headlights of an oncoming truck.

He looked at you, very sincere confusion etched across his handsome face. "Excuse me?"

You drew in a shaky breath, your nostrils flaring as you tried to catch a whiff of cherries under the aroma of fresh coffee, not caring how absurd you appeared. Yes? No? Or was that strawberry jam on his croissant? Have your senses gone haywire? Your mind certainly has.

"You're... you're here to cosplay Raphael?" 

The thought tumbled out of your mouth before it had time to fully form in your head. It was the only explanation that made sense... It didn't, but it made more sense than all the others put together.

Raphael moved closer, pulled up a chair and asked, amused: "I beg your pardon, I'm here to do what to whom?"

The voice. The voice was the same. Andrew Wincott's voice. The man had simply stolen his voice. Or had the man stolen it from him? The movements, the mannerisms, the facial expressions. This man could not be Raphael because...

Well, because this man was real. As real as you were. 

"Raphael," you explained. "From the video game. Are you here to cosplay... to play... Raphael?"

The man gave you a look as if questioning your sanity, and rightfully so. You were also sweating bullets - could he see the damp patches under your hoodie? You pressed your arms against your sides; wouldn't want him noticing.

"I'm hardly an actor," Raphael replied with a polite smile, "although there was a time in my youth when I entertained such ambitions."

He chuckled lightly and took a leisurely sip of his coffee. 

"I'm here to enjoy my espresso, nothing more. I... have never been particularly fond of..." he added with the disdain of a typical middle-aged man, "... video games.”

You had no response for that because Raphael wouldn't be into video games either; that much was believable.

"My office is across the street," he said, pointing towards the office complex opposite you. "Precisely there."

The golden sign on the building across from you, d'Avergni & Partners, told you nothing, except that Raphael had an office job and an office space and a desk and all the things that the devil shouldn’t have because the devil invented them to torture the others.

Raphael was dressed like he had just stepped out of a board meeting. A three-piece slate gray tailored suit, white shirt peeking out from underneath, silk tie and matching pocket square. Of all the modern Raphael AUs, you preferred the Professor one, you voted for it, you had Sucharide’s fic bookmarked. The Professor was more, ugh...

Safe.

As for you, you were wearing a hoodie with your university on it. A clean hoodie, but a hoodie nonetheless. What the hell else would you be wearing to Comic Con? You didn't do your hair. Well, putting it in a ponytail is not doing your hair. Why did you not do your hair? 

"I know, I know, you must be wondering why anyone would toil on a weekend," Raphael continued. That was the last thing you were wondering. "Alas, no rest for the wicked."

"Wicked?" you echoed. You looked at the people in the cafe, sure they were staring at the both of you, but they weren't.

"Oh," he chuckled lightly, "it's just an expression – 'No rest for the wicked.' You've never heard it before?"

"Of course I have," you said, momentarily embarrassed. "Never mind...sorry."

"You have nothing to apologise for," Raphael raised his eyebrows. "In fact, I should be the one to apologise for startling you. May I offer you another cup of... ah, what was that... cappuccino? After twelve? Tsk-tsk, young lady".

Not a single modern man could ever manage to say the words "tsk-tsk, young lady" as charmingly. That was Raphael.

"No bother, I can get one myself," you said quickly, about to stand up. 

He raised his hand slightly and put it down to halt your movement, and for a second you thought he was going to touch you, and if he had, if you had felt the skin of his skin, he would have felt more real and you would have died on the spot from a bursting heart.

"I have no doubt about that. But may I treat you? It would be my absolute pleasure”.

Pleasure. The way he said the word was straight obscene. You couldn't handle the word 'pleasure' coming from a man who had been responsible for more than half your orgasms in the last few months.

So in your daze, you mumbled: "Yeah. Yeah, sure."

Raphael stood up and walked over to the barista. She acknowledged him, so that's one point for him being real and you not hallucinating. Not only did she acknowledge him but she flashed him a goofy grin - clearly smitten.

Of course she is.

You have to take a picture of him. How do you take a picture of someone without their consent without being a total creep?

You don't. It's in the fucking definition; you can't. But you should. Maybe you'll open your camera roll and see someone completely different, and then you'll know it's time to call for mental health services.

Your phone was buzzing with messages, which you quickly swiped away and went straight to the camera. You took a picture of him from behind while he ordered you a coffee. The barista gave you a “fucking weirdo” look. 

Fuck you, you thought, you have no idea what I am going through right now. Then you switched to the camera roll and checked to see if the photo reflected what you saw.

A broad, fit back of a very attractive middle-aged man with lush brown hair, paying for coffee with cash.

You couldn't decide whether this made you feel better or worse.

When Raphael returned with your cup, you had something for him too. "This is the character I was talking about," you said, a screenshot of virtual Raphael ready on your screen.

Anyone who saw the screenshot would say, "Who motion-captured me?" 

Not Raphael. He barely glanced before shrugging and handing your phone back. "Hmm, I see some resemblance, I guess."

Resemblance? What fucking resemblance? There was no resemblance; he WAS Raphael! You were about to argue but he beat you to it: "Why? Were you hoping to meet this...Raphael?" 

His voice dropped an octave and he looked at you intently. He was flirting - openly, unashamedly.

"I...I was," you stammered out. "He's my favourite character."

Brilliant, brilliant line. Dear diary, today I wanted to meet Raphael, my favourite character from my favourite game. So much for quoting Sartre.

"Well now, I'm flattered," Raphael purred, causing you to wriggle uncomfortably in your seat. "I do bear some physical likeness."

That was a massive understatement. 

The man had a disarmingly charming smile. You tried to remember if Raphael had ever smiled like that in the game. It was mostly scowls and grins and smirks, but this kind of smile? You didn't think so. You caught a glimpse of yourself in his hazel eyes, and that was not Tav; that was you. Just you.

Not that you were unattractive or anything. Average. Maybe even a little pretty on a good day. You didn't like yourself very much. Then again, most people don't. That's how the beauty industry makes its money. 

You got your share of attention, some, nothing to brag about. Had two boyfriends, it didn't work out, you used to care, now you don't. Certainly never got any attention from men who looked like him.

Why should this man be interested in you, why? Ah, yes. Your soul. He probably wants your soul. Is it worth much at all? Is it worth coming all the way to Earth? You wanted to apologize to him for going through all this trouble just for you.

"So this event in the convention hall down the street..." he snapped his fingers as if trying to recall a forgotten name.

"Comic-Con 2024," you supplied. "It's huge in fandom culture. TV shows, video games, that sort of stuff.”

"Ah. Not my kind of entertainment - or my kind of audience, for that matter," Raphael said with a slightly raised eyebrow, eyeing the “Astarion approves” badge on your backpack.  "It does remind me of a deal I signed recently."

"Deal?" you asked in a weak voice. He nodded. "What deal? With who?"

"With who? No, I meant the Microsoft-Blizzard acquisition". 

Ah, that kind of deal. The words felt so reassuring, so real, the acquisition. Raphael would have no idea about these words. Raphael wouldn't say "Microsoft". You mean the real Raphael. What the hell is a 'real' Raphael again?

For the first time, you let go of a little tension. You took a first sip of your coffee and leaned back slightly in your chair. 

"Actually, I think these acquisitions are really harmful for the industry," you said. 

Why did you have to be so confrontational? You didn't have anything clever to say about such things, so you spoke the truth instead. Bad idea.

"How candid of you to say that. Well, I’ll be just as candid with you: I am indeed a villain." Raphael grinned. "I hope you can forgive me." 

There went your short-lived relaxation, which lasted less than a minute.  Raphael had just looked at you and said "I am a villain". Challenge him. Tell him it's him because, well, it's him. It can only be him. Tell him you know it's him, and then...

And then what?

"Everybody's got a job to do, I guess", you managed to utter the most generic phrase in existence.

"Isn't that so..." Raphael replied, pausing for a moment before finishing the sentence with your name.

You did not introduce yourself to him. You were sure of it. Absolutely sure. 

"How do you know my name?" you asked, half rising from your chair, raising your voice and quickly lowering it again. "I didn't tell you my name. How do you know it?"

Raphael gestured to your phone, which lay on the table screen between the two of you. Your work ID card was tucked away in its transparent case - something you hadn't needed for a while.

It had your first and last name on it.

"I saw it right before my eyes," he explained. "I thought it was a hint."

"It wasn't," you said.

"Oh, another faux pas on my part then," he said. "At this rate, I owe you something to make up for all my many transgressions. Perhaps dinner?"

You let out a nervous chuckle. One of your popular Tumblr posts had been an impassioned rant about how Raphael had promised a similar in-game offer but failed to deliver despite the many times you gave him the Crown.

"I seem to have absolutely terrified you, and that was not my intention. I insist on making it up to you. If you allow me, of course. I don't want to impose. Would you allow me to?"

He looked at you with the intensity of a man admiring a beautiful woman, his shoulders back and chin slightly up, trying to present himself from his best angle - something you've seen men do before, but rarely (if ever) to you. It was as if he could hang on every word that came out of your mouth, simply because he enjoyed watching your lips move. Raphael looked like he was in love, for Christ's sake.

Your cheeks grew warm. 

"Yes," you replied.

He kept silent for a bit, savouring your answer. 

"Splendid. Where might I collect you?"

It took you a moment to realise that he was asking for your address. Your personal address. Shouldn't he know it already, if he was Raphael? You replied as nonchalantly as possible:

"Why don't I give you my number and we can arrange to meet at the center?"

His expression darkened slightly; you've seen this look in the game before.

No, you shouldn't have said that. You wanted him to like you. 

Desperately.

"You don't trust me?" Raphael's voice dropped an octave or two, playful and just a little threatening.

You felt his breath on your face (cherries?) and the next second you stopped feeling your legs. The attraction that had been simmering inside you for months started boiling over.

Breathe. Pretend it's not Raphael. A man came up to you in a coffee shop and asked you if you trusted him in that kind of tone, leaning in like that. You know what the sensible thing to do would be - get up and walk away. And if it really was Raphael, get up and run away. 

You remained seated and stayed. 

"Just, ugh..." was all you managed to get out of the jumbled thoughts in your head; two coherent sentences so far into the conversation, and both of them made you sound like an absolute madwoman. 

Raphael laughed.

"Of course you don't trust me, that's only prudent, and you seem to be quite an intelligent young lady. But just so we are clear, you and I: you have nothing to fear from me. What is that number of yours?"

Quite an intelligent young lady, the words echoed in your mind and you remembered your naughty anonymous Tumblr confession: I would suck every last drop of cum out of him as long as he kept praising me.

God, everything you've read with him in the main role. Double penetration, double vaginal penetration, pet play... you weren't even into half of it. You hoped Raphael didn’t think you actually wanted him to do all of the things you read with you.

You just liked clicking on random links.

"Do you need something to write it down or...?" you asked hesitantly.

"I will remember," he said curtly. “I do not forget things easily”.

You realised that there was something far more frightening than anything that had happened before: that he wouldn't remember, that he would never call you, and that this conversation and this meeting would end there. 

So you carefully enunciated each number, then took a pen from your pocket and wrote it down on a napkin: it seemed romantic in the movies, but your handwriting and the coffee stain made it look like a secret message from the madhouse.

He grinned and tucked the napkin into the pocket of his suit.

He took the last sip of coffee and then took your hand in his. He touched you. His skin was warm and real and soft and everything you had ever imagined, his touch surprisingly tender. 

Your whole body responded to that tiny crumb of affection, viscerally. You hadn't realized how famished you were for a touch until that moment.

He lifted your hand to his lips and pressed them against yours. His lips were soft too, slightly damp from the coffee.

"I am looking forward to our rendezvous," Raphael murmured against your palm. "Ver much so."

Rendezvous.

In any other situation, a middle-aged man kissing your hand would be downright creepy. But this... this was a fever dream, an illusion, anything but reality. Because there was no way this madness could actually be happening to you.

Was it a bad thing? Was reality ever... this? So unpredictable? So exciting? 

You only snapped out of it when the door closed behind him, but you snapped out hard. You practically threw yourself at the next table, where a group of guys were sitting, their appearance screaming video games - backpacks and scruffy beards, Warhammer-emblazoned T-shirts. 

You grabbed one by the shoulder and hissed urgently: "Guys-guys-guys-guys." Your words came like rapid fire. "Tell me that guy doesn't look exactly like Raphael from Baldur's Gate? That one? On the street behind the window?" 

Damn, you sounded desperate.

"Ah, sorry, never played it," came the nonchalant reply before he turned back to his friends' conversation.

"Baldur's Gate," chimed in another, his face lighting up. "Amazing game. Looks like who?"

"Raphael," you said. "The devil."

The guy laughed, but didn't even look where you were pointing.

"Ah, the two-pump chump?"

You shot a quick glance at Raphael. His eyes met yours through the glass window, and they were cold now; his smile was gone. 

I didn't say that, you pleaded with him in your thoughts. That guy said that. That guy over there. I would never say that.

Your defence of his bed skills stretched from Reddit to Tumblr threads, you argued that Haarlep was slandering him, that Raphael was the best fuck there ever was and you personally vouched for that because you fucked him a thousand times in your head.

"Don't call him that, please," you whispered to the guy. He gave you a confused look when you pointed at Raphael again: "Look at him. The one staring at us. Does he look like him?

Is he real? Do you see him too?

"Ah yes," he admitted with a grin on his face, raising the cup of coffee to his lips, "he sort of does. Yes, he does! Well, I hope he doesn't...oh shit! FUCK!".

The guy's face contorted in pain as he clutched his mouth, jumping, cursing, tears streaming down his face. You could see the skin on his lips reddening and blistering.

"What the fuck?! It's fucking boiling! FUCK! "

The barista rushed over to him, spewing apologies as she tried to handle the situation. You took a step back and glanced at Raphael whose lips were moving subtly - two syllables that matched rhythmically: 'bye-bye' or maybe 'ciao-ciao'. 

It didn't have to be 'ta-ta'. He waved nonchalantly at you.

You waved back.

NEXT: Chapter 3, In Which Larian Introduces The Raphael Romance

[sciderman]

Sci ngl i assumed you were a cis gay dude back when i was obsessively reading your spiderpool stuff as a teenager. I’m a gay trans man and your comics always felt like a warm hug, truly my comfort doom scrolling — so it’s kinda nice to find out we’re more similar than id thought

bless you anon!! it's a pleasure having you, and i'm so, so glad my comics can be a cozy comfort for you!! kissing you so sweetly

you know, it's kind of funny, i've had an overwhelming response of people who've said they've just assumed i was male by the vibes i radiate and i'm not entirely sure what it means. i'm know you all mean it very reaffirmingly but it leaves me with a lot of questions. like, questions that i want to do further research into.

is there a masculine dialect? like how there are regional dialects? is that a thing? i kind of want to study this now. can you tell someone's gender by the way they talk like you can tell where they're from? that is so cool if it's true. how do you type like a man. what should i look for? i don't know if i've ever assumed someone's gender by the way they type. i just look at their bio and it usually says. and i kind of don't think about it when i type. i type like me. but – i think maybe i pick up the way that i talk from the media i consume (comic books) which is kind of overpoweringly male. overpoweringly populated by male characters, and written by men, y'know.

i think the way i type here on @sciderman is probably softer and more femme than the way i write on the ask-blog. on the blog when i'm answering things as Mod i kind of intentionally mimic the tone-of-voice that marvel editors use. that's an intentional choice. so - when you read what i write here it's closer to my real voice, but over on ask-spiderpool i'm putting on an act. i try to sound like a marvel editor. i call you all True Believers! it's all a persona. i think one of the things that's my strength in writing is falling into voices - i think i could be an excellent ghostwriter, if i needed to be. so very crafty at mimicry.

as a kid i always, always always would mimic the characters i liked from the movies we watched whenever i came out of the cinema. i remember doing that all the time. and it was always boys. (except frenchie from grease. she was my one female gender icon. god everyone hated me for that one. i loved doing the voice. wanted to be her so bad. wanted the pink hair. everything.)

you know,, even now The Very First thing anyone asks me when they meet me is where my accent is from, because nobody believes i'm native to london. it happened today (twice). the way i talk is a little weird. my response,, off the bat,, it's because i watched too many cartoons growing up. so,, i guess maybe i idolised too many masculine role models, and probably didn't have enough female role models. i liked the boy movies better than the girl ones. i spent more time with my dad than i did with my mom. my mom wasn't a good role model. dad says that's probably why i didn't want to be a woman. i didn't have a good role model. (sorry mom). (he's right). all kinds of variables here. i kind of want to do research into it. also i should talk to a therapist.

[labyrinthofsphinx]

This is a question for mod! (If it's okay to ask, obviously you don't have to answer) Is Alastor fully aro/ace in your au, or is he on the spectrum? Obviously whatever the answer is, it's okay, I'm mostly asking for curiosity and so I don't end up asking redundant questions in the future. Is he more on the demi side and after years with Vox he'll start to feel some type of romantic affection, or will that never happen? If it does or doesn't, would he be open to romantic or even sexual gestures or is he repulsed by both when directed at him, no matter who it is? Totally okay if you'd rather not answer and keep things ambiguous too ofc 💖

Okay, so here's a bit of babble. And spoilers? I guess?

First, never worry about redundancies. It's going to keep happening until I actually take the time to organize a master list of posts tbh XDD

I keep these thing purposefully vague because, well, a lot of these terms are new and they wouldn't have the words for them back then. That said, I do write Vox as bi and Al as aroace, though Al truly believes he is straight and just hasn't found the right girl. He has no reason to believe this other then the environment he's been living in. He doesn't find girls more 'attractive' or anything, he just respects them more because of his mother.

That said, in general, Vox and Al have been....complicated and happy, for a while now. Al has never felt any kind of romantic or sexual attraction to Vox, and he never will. He is totally and completely fine with romantic and, even some, sexual statements directed at him...but only from Vox. Because he trusts Vox to respect his boundaries, especially the ones that go unspoken. He tries very hard to be 'available' for potential suitable girls, but there is always something about their touch that is going to make him uncomfortable. When Vox does it, Al just chalks it up to Vox being Vox, and he kinda really likes the attention. The romantic stuff makes him feel loved, even if he doesn't return the feelings. The more sexualizing stuff makes him feel sexy, wanted, and pretty, even if he doesn't want to actually do anything.

As far as how repulsed he is about physical stuff initiated on him...that's going to be addressed down the further down the grapevine. That's Al testing his own waters and maybe realizing he swam too far.

All that said, Al calls Vox his 'partner' sometimes just to mean 'partner in crime' but, honestly, because he's unsure what else to call him. He'd call him his 'best friend', only he's pretty sure Rosie is his 'best friend' and there is a lot of stuff he would never feel comfortable telling Rosie about, but would be completely fine explaining to Vox. As I've said in the past, they've already tested the limits of their relationship by the time of the main story. Vox is so much more than a just friend to Alastor, but he has no idea what else there is supposed to be! Especially since he really doesn't love him romantically. Nor does he find him particularly attractive. He cares for him, but he's not sure how or in what ways.

Vox is his first real experience learning what love is.

(Vox knows all of this. He doesn't care. He loves Al, and he'll give him anything and everything that Al would feel comfortable getting. He's better at telling what's going on in Al's head than Al himself most of the time.)

TLDR: I write him as aroace, and where he lands on the spectrum of physicality is treading into spoiler territory.

Thanks for the ask! Sorry I had to keep this more vague.

[littlestpetgoth]

do you happen to have a discord server, or know of any good HS discord servers? i think itd be fun to meet other HS fans but idk where to look lol

when i first started posting online again i joined the mspfa server and posted to the art channel every now and then. my interactions with people were sparse but at the time i thought it was fun to have some social interaction with other mspa fans for the first time in my life. id consider joining it again but i haven't been feeling very sociable after i deactivated my old twitter so i dunno when i would try. i gained some traction there by sharing my oc verita, she was very popular and is the reason i got peoples' attentions. i remember someone even made a theme song for her and i thought it was sooo cool lol..

i think i must have gotten really lucky, during the time i was hyperactive(?) and posted a loot of art of her and requests of other peoples' characters with her, people really liked my fantroll designs so i got further attention from that.

i think people also liked my animations? idk. i gained like, 6k followers in a really quick period, at a time in my life where i was really unstable and was trying to strip myself of someone who plagues my thoughts. i deactivated that account and have since been really anti social lol.

i used to have one server that was pretty active, it was dumped on me by the person mentioned prior so i really resented it. eventually i couldn't take it anymore and deactivated the server on impulse..

ive since made a new server, it's kinda private and basically dead since i stopped checking in on it every day. i dont really have the energy i had earlier this year ive been pretty worn out and brain dead, but i feel a lot more relaxed at least. i mightt consider inviting new peopple to it? i haven't decided if i want to or not, it's just me moderating (and also ko but he's really only a mod to approve of people who send intros when im not available)

i feel lucky that the group of people i have in it are really nice and well behaved : ) maybe ill offer to invite people again. if you want to join to can dm me and ill check you out, see if i want you in..

sorry for the ramble im not really the best person to ask about this!! i really only have any friends in the homestuck community because people approached me first, although some were really unsavory individuals im still grateful for the opportunities i was given because of it.

[somberauthor]

AHH!! OKAY so i liked the komahina headcanons you did like FOREVER AGO NOW. i was wondering if one of you might want to write a parent komahina/child reader where reader wakes up from a nightmare and they have to comfort them??

AAAAA!!! i love you. i mean, wasn't excited to do this request at all...(i love you:3)

PARENT! KOMAHINA COMFORTING CHILD READER

Hajime and Nagito were snuggled up on the couch watching some show, you couldn't quite tell because of the tears that blurred your vision. hearing your door open, Nagito looked over the couch over to you. your small shaking frame standing in the walkway sniffling, gently nudging Hajime awake(to no avail), nervous that his luck may have caused something bad to happen to you. "daddy..?" you call out, not to any one specific parent; you just needed the comfort of knowing they were there. "we're here kiddo" Nagito calls out to you, knowing he probably wouldn't be the best parent to handle the situation, but what choice did he really have at this point as you were now standing in front of him teary-eyed...with a still sleeping Hajime besides him.

"Another nightmare, my little hope..?" 'another' nightmare.. because this unfortunately was a normal occurrence. You nodded your head, voice caught in your throat, and he lifted you up into his arms, snuggling your snotty face into his shirt(kinda gross, but he didn't mind too much). "y'know,," he starts "i've had some nightmar-" he gets cut off by, a now very awake Hajime, covering his mouth with a hand. "wha- dID YOU JUST LICK MY HAND??" this elicits a giggle from you, and Nagito shrugs. Hajime sighs, wiping his hand off "eugh...anyways.." he pats your head with his NOT licked hand, " 'nother nighmare..? you wanna talk about it, kiddo?"

you think back to your dream. it was a terrible, terrible dream. you didn't want to think about it, but it was almost impossible not to.. "you dove have to, of course" he adds, sensing your hesitance.

you nestled further into Nagito's arms, you took a deep breath and tried to collect your scrambled thoughts. the nightmare still lingered vividly in your mind, but the warmth of being held by your two fathers helped to ground you. "it was really bad...." you hid your face as you contemplated wether or not to explain the dream to them... explain the large dark figures you had seen, how they had taken the two of them away while you were held back, forced to do nothing but watch.

Hajime stares at you for a second or two, waiting for some type of response "...you don't HAVE to say anything." he says in a rather matter-of-fact voice(although he always sorta has that tone). you snuggle into Nagito again, and he pats your back. "we'll always be here for you" Hajime comforts "well..-" Nagito starts, Hajime shoots him a glare that shuts him up pretty quickly.

As the tension eases with Hajime's assurance and Nagito's somewhat awkward attempt at support, you feel a bit more at ease. Despite the lingering unease from the nightmare, the presence of your fathers comforts you enough to feel sleepy again.

As you drift back into a more peaceful state, Nagito and Hajime exchange a glance, silently communicating their concern for you. Hajime adjusts himself on the couch so he can wrap an arm around both you and Nagito, creating a cozy little family huddle. you distinctly feel Nagito petting your hair, despite your eyes being closed, you can tell from the tenderness and boney fingers.. then he swiches off with Hajime it seems, though you aren't sure why.. maybe he had fallen asleep?

you hear the buzzing of their movie restarting as you drift off again, comforted knowing that the both of them are still there and would NEVER leave your side...

uses super cute dream i had as a kid for reference kinda(also sorry if they're out of character, i tried)

~mod john:B

[sailorsplatoon]

Here it is, the prologue for the dedfour fanfiction, which I only just now realized I never announced the title of.

Everyone, this is Watch the Sky With You. I am very excited to be posting this and I hope you all like it! If you missed my post on the schedule for this fic, you can check it out here.

Without further ado, let's get into the fic!!!

Next

Read it on ao3!

(Fanfic under cut)

Agent 4 loaded into the Memverse for another test run. Marina wanted to make sure everything was working properly before it went fully online, and she knew she could trust them with the task. Once it was completed, they would be a protector there, making sure everyone in it stayed safe… or something like that. They weren’t entirely sure, but they were happy to help with whatever they could. Especially if it meant restoring the minds of the santitized octolings that were still in the Deepsea Metro. When Agent 8 told them about what that weird phone thing did, Four wanted to help in any way possible. 

They weren’t doing any protecting right now, though. At the moment, all they had to do was run a few tests in the Spire of Order, the giant building that looked kinda like Deca Tower, to make sure the floors were working properly. 

But something was wrong. The code felt different than it normally did. As their digital avatar— which looked almost exactly like them in real life— slowly loaded into the Order Sector, they heard a voice they didn’t recognize.

“You are Agent 4, yes?” As the rest of the world materialized around them, they found a face to match with the voice. It looked like some kind of blob of black code… with a face? Marina hadn’t said anything about something like this.

“Yeah, who’re you?”

“I am Order itself. A conscious generated from the processes or many who yearn for stability.”

“Umm okay. What’d Marina put you here for?” If this thing was supposed to be a part of the Memverse, why hadn’t Marina told them about it? They were given full access to all information regarding this weird digital world, so why didn’t they see anything about this guy?

“I am here to bring order to the world.”

“Riiight well I gotta go get some beta testing done now soooo…” they tried to get around Order, but it blocked their path to the Spire.

“You will be assigned an alternate task.”

“Marina didn’t say anything about something else I had to do.”

“These orders do not come from Marina.”

“Then I ain’t following them. Now let me through,” they tried yet again to push past the mass of glitching code. And again, it moved to stop them.

“Do you not want to become the greatest being you can be? To become perfect? To lose all negative emotion and memory in favor of total order?”

“Say what now?” That sounded all too familiar. That was exactly how Eight said sanitization was marketed to unsuspecting octolings. They had to stay on their guard. This might not be good.

“You will be greyscaled in the name of order.” The blob glitched then shot into the air. Upon landing it transformed into a massive octopus creature. This definitely wasn’t good.

Four was just here for some minor beta testing, not a legit boss fight. They took cover behind some coral and pulled up the mod menu Marina had given them in case of emergencies. They equipped themself with a splattershot— or order shot as it was called here— a splat bomb for the sub and a trizooka special. They’d be at a significant disadvantage since they didn’t have a drone with them, or the chance to fill their palette with color chips, or any hacks. But with a weapon build made just for them, they had a shot at winning.

“Look dude, I don’t know why you’re here, but if you’re trying to take away people’s free will then there is no chance I’m letting that happen. That is the exact opposite reason why Marina made this place!” Four shouted, running out from the cover the coral provided to begin their attack.

“Commencing greyscaling.” Order began to shoot massive blobs of black ink right at Agent 4. The thing wasn’t even acknowledging them anymore, how rude! Whatever. They’d take it out and then warn Marina about whatever was going on that caused this mess. “Agent 4, aren’t you tired of being seen as inferior to the other agents? Tired of being forgotten? You can help me bring order to this world, and no one would forget who you are again.”

They hesitated for half a second, but that was all the time Order needed. There was a sudden, intense pain in Four’s right leg. One of the ink blobs had hit them, and it stuck on. They felt their leg going numb the longer it stayed. This was so so not good. Another blob hit their shoulder and they cried out in pain as they stumbled to the ground. The ink didn’t do any damage but they felt it spreading more and more. It seeped through their skin and travelled along their veins. It was cold and stung like dry ice. But how could they feel it if this was all digital? Unless it was somehow happening in the physical world too. They tried to reach to rip it off, but their arm wouldn’t move. Their whole body wouldn’t move. The ink was spreading faster now, up their neck, over their chin, into their eyes. It hurt more than anything they could imagine. 

And then suddenly it didn’t anymore. Suddenly all the pain melted away.

“Greyscaling complete.”

[fangirlandtheories]

I have worked at Starbucks for over 2 years now and I make the chalkboard signs for my store. While searching for inspiration on Pinterest, I discovered that someone made a Stranger Things chalkboard designating different drinks to different characters. While the artwork was great, the drinks just didn't match according to my opinion so I wanted to make my own. Without further ado, a baristas guide to Stranger Things drinks:

- Steve Harrington: We're starting off with one of the more simple to order drinks. There's no mods or alternatives, just a pure, sweet drink. Steve is a Caramel Ribbon Crunch. He's layered and multifaceted the same way the drink has separate layers. He's sweet, sometimes too sweet for his own good, but he's cool as ice. Served drizzled and well topped (if you know what I mean 😉)

-Eddie Munson: My best friend Maya works with me and introduced me to this drink and I can't think of anything better for Eddie. You get a cup of lemonade, add some ice, pour a blonde espresso shot on top, and voila: The Cigarette Butt. It's got a sweetish smokey flavor, a little sour, a little weird. People either love it or hate it without giving it a try.

-Nancy Wheeler: I wanted to do something sensible for Nancy but something that would also be strong for a badass like Nancy. We often say that Iced Americanos are the hot girl drink so I knew I wanted it to be and Iced Americano. As for the extras, I wanted it to be blonde ristretto. Blonde Ristretto shots are the BEST kinda shots so it fits one of the best characters. As for cream: Almond Milk. She's giving lactose intolerant but in a "I prefer almond milk to soy milk" kinda way. She's not pretentious about it, but maybe a little.

-Robin Buckley: I was going back and forth with Robin. I had multiple ideas but narrowed it down to two. Number 1. Iced Vanilla Matcha with coconut milk OR Number 2. An Iced Chai with brown sugar syrup and oat milk. Either way, both scream Queer and Quirky. I also get a sort of library soft vibe from her. I'm picturing tans and old books, soft pastels, those kinda things. Arguably that's more a Nancy vibe as well but Robin is light academia and Nancy is dark.

- Jonathan Byers: This is a man that listens to good music and spends his day taking photographs and getting high. He's a sweater and slacks, a wallflower, the quiet calm in a chaotic storm. He's a London Fog, specifically with soy milk. Underappreciated and sometimes forgotten, this is a true pillar in every way. Teas have always been there and always will be, much like the steady reliability of Jonathan. The flavors are gentle and when paired with the vanilla it creates something complex and delightful.

- Argyle: This brochacho does NOT need coffee. He's bright and colorful, slightly overwhelming at times, but full of zest. When thinking of him, I wanted to choose the brightest, most colorful drink I could. He's a Mango Dragonfruit Lemonade with peach juice and pineapple pieces. This drink is the Starbucks ocean of flavor, but the pineapple comes freeze dried in a bag. Remember: Try before you deny.

- Hopper: I was going to leave this as just the Fruity Six, but I can't resist. Hopper is the McDonald's Dad. Hopper is a cup of black coffee.

[simtleman]

Come get dazzled by the silver screen at the ORPHEUM THEATER!

So after updating all my freaking mods for the new Horse Ranch update (which I couldn't care less about, tbh... the only good thing that came with it for me was— you guessed it!— painted ceilings), here I am once again with a brand new building for the Vintage Save File I'm working on: let me take you on a tour through the stunning Orpheum Theater!

I OBVIOUSLY couldn't do a Vintage Save File set in Del Sol Valley without including a proper theater where your 1920s, '30s & '40s sims could go watch Golden Age films, get mesmerized by their favorite movie stars' glamour and perhaps even take their dates and get lucky while sitting in the back seats?

I have to say just building the front— mainly the marquee, which I did manually— took me about a solid 3 hours, so apologies if the rooms I decorated last seem a bit uncluttered... I was simply ready to move on to the next build by then lol

Below you can see the tickets window (somehow I always seem to find a way to implement @surely-sims's CC into my builds, I just can't help myself... it works too good around my aesthetic!)

And the main hall, in which you'll find @ravasheencc's Film Reaper Movie Theater posters that will allow your sims to watch actual movies through a rabbit hole. I don't know if you noticed, but I also finally found the courage to download and play around a little with @twistedmexi's TOOL mod (the lights frames are rotated) after getting inspired by some of the content by @come-hell-or-high-water. The way he/she (?) pays attention to the tiniest details in his/her screenshots made me want to take mine a step further, so thank you @come-hell-or-high-water!

There's only one movie room, but it has two stories and a beautiful balcony on the second floor you can access to if you go upstairs, through the main hall:

Upstairs is also where the toilets are located (look at those gorgeous red velvet carpeted ceilings... 9 freaking years I've waited to be able to do that, EA!):

And, of course, it wouldn't be a cinema without a projection room, would it?:

Next to the theater you'll find a kinda shabby parking lot, in which Dito Dalton (see my previous post) takes care of some of his businesses every now and then, if you know what I mean:

And last but not least, if you go through the back you'll find a very small yet cozy home that belongs to the household who owns the Orpheum Theater:

Who are the members of this household, you may ask? Ah, you little inquisitive mind! I'm afraid you'll have to wait for my next post to find out... but let me tell ya, they have a great background story and will be a great townie addition to this save file :)

Anyway, that's it for today! Hope you guys like this new building and we shall see where this crazy project that's taking most of my spare time lately takes me next lol

[wanderingaldecaldo]

WIP Wednesday/Whenever

Tagged by @rosapexa, thank you! Tagging in turn with the usual disclaimers: @cybervesna @shimmer-like-agirl @dustymagpie @theviridianbunny @butchsquatch @medtech-mara @streetkid-named-desire

Modding

A couple of casual outfits for Ros, using wing's shoes and cubfan's jeans recolors (skinny bitch has her own tight jeans mesh). Shirt on the left is an existing variant of Wakako's that I really liked; right is Denny's that I'm recoloring for her.

Working on importing a jacket for fem V (yeah okay, it's really for Ros). I'm tweaking the mesh now so it works with Veegee's suit, then it's onto normals and textures

Writing

I've had a couple of drabbles that morphed into ideas for photoshoots, which in turn expanded into full scenes I started writing. This is one such drabble-turned-scene because of the pic below. Kinda long so putting most after the cut.

“Do you know what you’re asking of me?” Her brow furrows as she pauses to look at V, as if considering something for the first time. “Of yourself?”

Anxiety flooding her chest, V feels the familiar urge to jump ship at the first sign of trouble and wants to let go, to retreat; but Rosalind squeezes her fingers and holds her gaze, her eyes serious yet soft, keeps her grounded, and V lets out a long breath.

“Maybe not, but be a gonk move to let you leave ’thout saying something, wouldn’t it?”

“Constantly surrounded by Secret Service. Say goodbye to any privacy once media and screamsheets find out, not to mention all the fanatics and anti-government zealots.” 

Rosalind looks at their hands while V wonders what to say. She’d thought about media and screamsheets but hadn’t considered the constant need for security. What would the logistics even look like for dating a sitting President? Maybe this is the gonk move.

“Then there’s the job.” Rosalind meets her eyes again, brow furrowed and lips tugged downward. “The country is first, always. I am always the President.”

That she had expected, and she chuckles softly. “Of course. Look, know what your priorities are, never gonna change. The rest?” She shrugs. “Deal with it as it comes.” 

The flirting earlier today and during dinner bolstered her confidence, but now it deflates under the penetrating stare that has laid waste to politicians, generals, and corpos alike, and she looks away.

“Alright, V,” she says at last. Trying not to betray the surprise she feels, V looks up to find her watching with a soft smile. “Let’s see where this ride goes.”

She feels light enough to explode and she leans forward, kissing her hard.

“And the bedroom?” she asks with a grin when she pulls away.

“That’s up to the FSS,” Rosalind answers with a smirk. Frowning, V tries to decipher the answer while Rosalind's eyes light up as she receives a call, and the smirk grows wider as she listens. “Yes? Thank you.” The light disappears as the call cuts off. “They just gave the green light.”

The frown deepens as she finally gets it. “Wait, you swept my apartment?”

“Of course. I warned you about the Secret Service. Did you think they’d let me wander off to an apartment in Heywood without inspecting it, as well as ensuring a private entrance?”

V scoffs. “You had them sweeping it before I asked you to spend the night.” Rosalind’s eyes crinkle and she purses her lips in a vain attempt at holding back the ever-growing smirk, but it only exaggerates it further. “Planning on spending the night all along.”

Rosalind shrugs, the smirk replaced by an elegant smile, but her eyes remain warm and crinkled. “What can I say? I’m a politician; I like to keep my options open.”

[floralcrematorium]

OKAY WOW THERE WAS A VERY BIG POSITIVE RESPONSE TO THE TELEPHONE GAME, HI

FOLLOW THE TELEPHONE GAME BLOG! @hws-telephone

I thought about making a discord, but to be entirely honest, I really don't want to manage that. In hindsight it might be good for discussions and feedback's sake, but my moderator days are behind me (I used to be a discord and in-game mod for a Minecraft server and I think I would rather eat my hand than do that again.) We will. See.

PLEASE READ MY FOLLOWING THOUGHTS ABOUT THE EVENT! I would love to hear feedback, but I think this kind of event may have to be a trial and error sort of situation. I've never hosted an event before and this is one that will move semi-fast. I will also need to be holding decent communication with people!

• Skill level does not matter. Anyone is allowed to participate regardless of their skill level or materials of choice, so long as those who work traditionally are able to get clear/well lit photos of their submission

• I will need to hold an experimental round capped at 5-7 participants. I do not know how long I should give people to complete their part. Life gets in the way and I know not everyone is fast (I am very much not fast). However, considering there will be a large number of participants, we gotta get moving! I think as of right now, everyone would have 3-5 days to complete their parts, and if they need an extension they get 2 days. If we need more time, that's possible! THE FIRST SIX PEOPLE TO FILL OUT THE GOOGLE FORMS (linked further in the post) WILL BE CONTACTED TO PARTICIPATE IN THE EXPERIMENTAL ROUND.

• Once we get into it, there could be a short-format and long-format group? Short format being people only get 1-3 days to work while long-format gets a week? The different groups differ based on complexity? Unsure. Need community feedback on this. OR we could just have two separate groups co-running so people don't have to wait forever to play.

• GOOGLE FORMS SUBMISSION HERE FOR PARTICIPANTS

• Once I have The Participants, their usernames will be ordered randomly and that'll be the order the drawing is passed around.

• If this is an event with multiple rounds... Maybe each round has a different theme? I know I have different groups of people following me (off the top of my head, FrUK, FACE fam, and Nordic centric blogs in particular). I think the first round will just be using my design for Nyo!Austria because I'm interested to see if we use a character whose clothing isn't able to be referenced by a quick google search, how that will be affected by the telephone. Unsure.

• I will start the experimental round and the very first Big Round. Other people can volunteer to be the starting artist in the future!

• No posting your submission until the end of the round!!! This is very important. The point of a telephone is you only know what the person right before you did!

• When it comes to someone's turn, I will be reaching out via Tumblr DM (or through another contact method if that is preferred). I'm considering asking someone to co-host this event with me for organization's sake, but I don't. Really have someone to do that. So!

If there's anything else we need to talk about, throw it in the replies!!! This is really going to be a trial and error kinda event until we get it down! Ideally, this would be a fun year round project/event!

BELOW THE CUT IS JUST ME TAGGING EVERYONE WHO REPLIED TO/REBLOGGED THE ORIGINAL POST

Hi, you replied to/reblogged the interest check so you get Priority News that there is a telephone game sideblog to follow @hws-telephone and that if you're still interested there is a submissions post pinned to the blog.

THE FIRST SIX RESPONSES WILL BE CONTACTED FOR THE EXPERIMENTAL ROUND.

@doodlin-moons @hws-lceland @ironic-orange @vikingosten @soulsembers @yaqamole @dappy-dappernette @losnordiquitos @tema-makes-art-sometimes @dandelion-coffee-bear @spiritmoon23 @genpaele @astrophilic-soul @batataaurdoodh @the-heaminator @krazys-ass-emporium @sixcatsinajacket @hoasens @wackylittlegal @starsilversword @untitled-kitsune @2p-nyotalia

[idv-harmonic-melody]

(OOC) Explaining what has been going on with my blogs + Some small info about the projects

Hello everypony! It is i, mod Clown, with just a small update that i will be posting here on Robin's blog since it is the only one that i THINK tumblr hasnt completely cut its reach. I will be also be reblogging it in my other active blogs so everyone can see it and i will be putting it in muns corner too since it kinda is an update since i called it it (?) but anyways!

I wanted to make this post since last time i just announced the shutdown of two of my blogs with no reason given and didn't even explained what would happen with the others and with my ongoing projects, so now i wanted to explain it further + maybe yap a little since i'm just built like that......

I will probably yap a lot in this, so i separated each topic and put it under the cut if any of you guys wanna jump in the most important part :3 soooo if you wanna know the updates, look under this Sunday.

About the Murder Disco essence

Since this is the project i'm doing in this blog, i decided to talk about it first. I have been planning this essence since the start of June, and, although i have all the characters chosen and each of their roles and order of deaths planned, i haven't been able to do a lot for it, even if i'm currently on vacation. I want to apologize about it to all the muns who have given me their respective muses to participate in it, i have simply been feeling quite desmotivated to make any art and i was also not. Liking the designs i was making.

But i have picked it up back some days ago! And currently i have 7 designs already finished + they have been drawn on the main essence poster! I will try my best now to finish it all before August ends! Again, i want to apologize for the time it is taking, but i promise i am working on it again. (Like just look at how much time ive spent on the essence poster.....)

Anyways i promise i haven't forgot about ir nor abandoned the project! I thank you all for your patience!!!!

Currently, i have 7/12 skins made, and i have already plans for most of them, i just need to get with actually drawing them! So i will be focusing on doing so now! 🙏

About @askthepianist and @theheavenshospital

So just to put all the info in the same post, i will also be talking about both blogs. I made a post some weeks ago about these blogs being shutdown, but didn't gave any info about it.

What i will be actually doing is just. Moving them to a new blog. I should have said it like that when i first made the posts but when i made it i was a bit tired, so i apologize for that. But yeah, i will be moving both Angeline and Pietro to a new blog, as i will be putting all the Paganini siblings together. I just think that they have a lot of lore and it is a bit of a waste to just show it in small events i do in Angie's blog, so yeah!

Alongside that, the Phantom of the Opera essence i made for Angeline will still be going! It will only be posted in this new blog i'm currently working on. When it will be released?...I'm gonna be honest, i don't know. I think it is pretty clear that i am very bad with dates, but i will be trying to post it asap!

Anyways if any of you guys have read this entire yap session, thank you very much! I will try not dissappearing suddenly again, and while were at it i also want to thank yall for the support you have been giving me.

Anyways, peace love and sunday ftw

[grims-local-pkmn-irl-hub]

This may be kinda a weird question, and it’s ok if you don’t really have any advice since you’re kinda doing this with a group of friends, but do you have any suggestions for getting into the rotomblr roleplaying scene? I tried like a year ago but everyone always had these huge stake closed group things going on and i never really was able to find myself a place in the community. I feel like it’d be a fun way to tell a story but I don’t really wanna be in a corner talking to myself, and none of my friends are super into the tumblr side of realpokemon (the rp community not the account named that)

this isnt a weird question at all i promise

okay so!

i use to be in the same position as you, i joined the community a year and a half ago with absolutely no friends or connections within it

and the way i got through that was to do the following:

send asks!! send so many asks to as many blogs as you can!! and make sure youre blog can be found from said ask so if youre rping from a main blog then STAY OFF ANON or if youre asking from a side blog @ YOUR BLOG!!

people in this community want to be “bothered”, they want interaction!! so if you see a blog with a character that has a pokemon that your character has then get your character to spark a conversation!! if someone reblogs an ask game then find smth your character would ask and send it in!! see a blog thats in a region that your character is in? send an ask asking the other character what they like about the region!! see a blog thats in a region your character has never been to before?? send an ask asking the other character what they like about the region!!

even if these asks go no further than the other character answering it or no further than just one or two responses in a reblog chain that still means your blog is now out there being seen by others!!

also letting your character be really passionate about at least one thing and having them post a rant about it is also pretty good for getting others to interact in my experience!!

also!! if youre a discord user i recommend looking around for some of the discords that are floating around!! those make for great planning and sharing along with getting to speak with the other mods!! ooc communication is very useful!!

[novelyst]

Skyrim Female Head UV: The Definitive Post

We begin as like a cooking blog's recipe, with a sort of vaguely related yet unnecessary anecdote. I've been thinking about putting modding stuff up on this blog, lately. I used to run into the problem on Discord where I'd be like: man, I'm spamming this channel, who even cares about this stuff anyway? So I made my own dev thread in which to spam these posts. As more and more people started joining, though, and still not replying to anything I wrote, I ran into the same issue where I've now become hesitant to post whatever I want in my own dev thread for fear that people will find it annoying. Silly, I know, but I figure that this here, tumblr, is the option with which I cannot go wrong, right? So long story short: this might turn into a mostly modding blog now.

I'm about to do an explanation of UV mapping as an introduction to this post, for those who know very, very, little about it. Many of you reading this may already be modellers or texturers who don't need this dumbed down, so you are welcome to skip to the big red UV map if you wish.

Without further ado: this is Nur.

Nur is what I would call a 'chatterbox', but she was made in the same way as any paper fortune teller. One thing that you should note about her: she is three-dimensional. I have power over Nur's state of being, and I can unfold her.

Unfolded Nur looks very different. We can see that her mouth, usually a triangular bipyramid minus a couple of faces, is now four separate triangles. We could also conceivably understand this as a '2D' version of Nur. It's flat, but it has all of the colour information that ends up on the surface of her 3D self; the area painted red is the 'mouth' part, the top squares on the left and right are the upper part of the 'face'.

Now, if we were to make a 3D mesh of Nur, we could use something like the second image for her texture and tell the computer which area of it should be shown on the surface of a given polygon. We'd do this by giving every point two dimensional coordinates, instead of inventing some kind of new format where every voxel in 3D space is assigned a colour—after all, it's only the surface that matters, right? This process of giving 3D vertices 2D-coordinates on a texture is called UV mapping. What you should really take away from this is the UV map holds the information of how to wrap a texture on to a mesh.

And, since all vertices already have X, Y, and Z coordinates, (and W is used for something else,) their two-dimensional texture coordinates are U and V.

Now, UV maps can be different from a piece of paper you fold in a few ways. What you mainly need to remember is that in UV Maps, we aren't bound by angles, length, or area – the lines making up a UV map are 'stretchy'. This mapping allows, then, for you to 'stretch' the texture over the surface of the mesh.

Now that everyone is (hopefully) on the same page, let's move on to the subject of the post!

This is the UV map of the female head mesh in Skyrim. Right away, a few weird quirks are going to stand out about it.

It is not truly vertically symmetrical along any X-coordinate.

It is kinda symmetrical along a line a short ways to the left of the centre.

Even along that line, the eye sockets are not symmetrical.

The symmetry along that central line starts falling apart towards the boundaries of the image, where there is not really very much symmetry whatsoever and what there is seems to fold more along the actual central vertical axis.

Now, if none of that stuff stood out immediately to you, or you are having trouble seeing it, that's absolutely fine! This image here should help to clarify the things I just mentioned.

The white line in the middle highlights the true centre of the image, from which (as you can see) the UV of the mesh's 'central line' is offset. The sort of lens-shapes either side of it trace the UV map's eye sockets, which are quite different.

Now, is all of this stuff fine? I mean, kind of. No, it's not really a good UV map (there are serious issues, for example, at the back of the scalp) and the symmetry problems all suck for working with it as a texture, but it's still useable and, for a high-poly to low-poly workflow, won't really impact things all that much for the creator. Painting on to the mesh, baking from a sculpt – all these will suffer for a worse UV map, but are still essentially the same process as with a different UV. The game's textures were made for this UV map, and Bethesda seem to have been able to manage fine with it.

Credit to Bethesda Game Studios. A section of the 'FemaleHead_MSN.dds'.

The issues come in more for people working on a 2D level. Making textures in photoshop? Painting some tintmasks? Then these things are going to annoy you, especially those darned eye sockets. So, is there a better way?

A Better Way

Sorry, that section header is kind of misleading. There's an extent to which this is subjective but, honestly, I don't think there really is a better way. I firmly believe that you can't fix Bethesda's UV because it's not broken. A little annoying to work with? Sure. But it wasn't meant to be another way, and it works with the textures provided by the game. There is nothing to fix.

On the 15th of March of 2012, Enhanced Character Edit (ECE) was published on Nexus Mods, in its description claiming thus:

Fixed asymmetry head mesh for Female.

Enhanced Character Edit had not 'fixed' issue of the off-centre axis of symmetry. What it had done was make the eye socket on the right symmetrical to the one on the left in the UV map. Behold, the ECE head mesh with the vanilla game's texture.

On the left: the ECE head mesh with the vanilla textures. On the right: the vanilla head mesh with the vanilla textures, as Todd intended.

ECE needed its own textures, made for the 'symmetrical' eye socket UV. There were already existing texture sets made this way (even reflecting the same eye; I suppose people preferred the left side), so it wasn't too great a problem—ECE was providing a fix for existing mods, really!

Except, well, it's a little more complicated than that. You can change the mesh, and the textures along with it, which works. This only affects the player character, however—generated face data for NPCs must be regenerated or, in the case of NPC overhauls, manually changed by the user, a thing few users actually know how to do. Pretty soon, though, people were using ECE in their character creation, and then for the NPC overhauls that they put on Nexus. Skin mods were being made specifically with use of this head mesh in mind, like SG Female Textures Renewal, which actually includes ECE as a requirement for this reason.

So everything is great and we can just use ECE, right? Sure, we have to regenerate all of our NPCs' faces which requires the creation kit and a lot of time, but that's workable. Well, not quite. Some mods have mismatched diffuse maps and normal maps when it comes to eye sockets, like Tempered Skins, which has ECE's eye sockets in its diffuse, but bases its normal maps mostly off of vanilla, including keeping its asymmetry. Mods like Mature Skin don't even use the ECE sockets, which means that those textures will look wrong on NPC overhauls based on the ECE head meshes. This issue ends up happening both ways, too—users of ECE-based textures have an even worse issue when using a mismatched mesh, to the extent that Enhanced Female Head Mesh was created, a mod that solves an issue that isn't in the base game. The ECE sockets are that ubiquitous.

Credit to DomainWolf. A comparison image from the mod Enhanced Female Head Mesh, showing the issue that ECE-based textures have when using the vanilla mesh.

Incidentally, this user has also created tintmask mods. Many of the textures included in those would have to be manually edited in order for them to look right on the vanilla head mesh.

We can see that the effects of ECE's change ripple outward without ever really becoming understood by the common modder. When installing High Poly Head, users are presented with the option of Symmetrical Eyes (Female). The average user probably doesn't know what this means, let alone whether the texture that they're using is based on ECE. If they choose the wrong option, many won't think to go back to the FOMOD. ECE itself has been far surpassed in popularity by RaceMenu on SSE—how many people would think to install it for its head mesh alone? Even Enhanced Female Head Mesh, which is specifically mesh-only and for SSE has only ~25 k downloads as of writing. Popular skin mods with symmetrical eye sockets have millions.

This whole thing impacts almost all modders. Most of them know barely anything about it. So, this stubborn ass who refuses to use the 'fixed' eyes and manually converts all of their NPC mods by painstakingly fixing things in NIFSkope wanted to write a post aggregating everything they knew about the subject, endeavouring to maybe improve people's awareness of it.

If you read all of this, thanks! I'm honestly surprised at how long it got. I hope you enjoyed my writing.

Hello, future me here. If you read this before this message was added, please note what I had earlier said about ECE not working on SSE was wrong. I have updated the previous sentence to reflect this information.