#now tell me he's not the coolest man in marvel universe!

[frc-heraldofdoom]

Midnight Suns (2022) #1

[therealvinelle]

What do you think the Cullens would do if some person they were talking to, out of nowhere just quite literally exploded in front of, and on them? Kinda like in that movie Spontaneous. Would they lose control and slurp up the mess on the ground, (and themselves) or would their bloodlust be curtailed by shock of wtf just happened?

I'd say something witty about how this is a strange anon to receive, but holy jesus you've sent me down a rabbithole.

Here's a trailer to the movie Spontaneous. It looks amazing. Kevin Feige wishes this had been his plot for Infinity War.

Here's a trailer for the movie Spontaneous Combustion, which I found by accident while searching for your fic. This looks amazing too. Can't believe Marvel didn't buy the rights to this guy.

I'm serious, people, you definitely want to watch these trailers. I just about died laughing.

So, on to your ask.

In the spirit of your ask, which implies a level of randomness, I thought the people blowing up should be random too. So, being in the mood to procrastinate through spending way too much time on tumblr things, I wrote a program that'll generate for me random Twilight characters.

Unsure whether the explosion should kill vampires or not, I generated an answer. The answer is yes, any generated vampire dies.

Without further ado:

Alice watches Vladimir blow up.

Alright, alright.

The first question to be answered here is why Alice is in Vladimir's presence in the first time. In canon they only meet once, at the end of Breaking Dawn.

For the sake of simplicity, we'll have Vladimir blow up then.

The Cullens and the witnesses are all celebrating being alive, when Vladimir suddenly explodes.

For the sake of the ask, Alice is sitting closest to him when this happens and making conversation.

Her first thought is utter shock. Not just that he blew up, but that she didn't see it coming (she wouldn't, because I randomly generated him. No decision was made). Her second thought is horror.

The Cullens just confronted the Volturi, now mere hours afterwards their allies are blowing up.

Holy fuck, Aro has a gifted ace up his sleeve, and he's using it to kill them remotely.

Panic ensues, not just for Alice, but among all the witnesses. Some of them refuse to leave, Bella has to shield those 24/7, though given the belief that her gift is psychic that doesn't make them feel very safe.

The others decide to go after the Volturi and beg for mercy, assuring them they never meant to challenge them.

Aro, of course, is very confused, but agrees. Why, yes, he does have a vampire who blows people up. Yes, yes he does.

Bella watches Aro blow up.

Oh I'm dying laughing at this one. And wishing I'd put this down for Carlisle, that would be even funnier, but alright.

Bella is walking about post-Breaking Dawn, minding her own business, when suddenly Aro appears in front of her. He looks around himself, utterly surprised by his sudden deplacement, and then blows up.

Bella has been living in terror of this man for years.

In Volterra he had his servant torture her and Edward and then made ominious threats, then a few months later the Eclipse disaster unfolded, finally we have Breaking Dawn where he showed up to murder her and everyone she loved.

Her shield may be powerful, but for as long as Aro was alive her family was never truly safe.

His untimely implosion changes all of that.

I imagine after a long moment of incredulity, Bella burns the rubble, just to be sure, then tells her family the joyous news.

Carlisle gives the guy a funeral. It's weird.

Carlisle watches Vassilii blow up.

Close call, due to my not switching out the names we almost had Angela. In which case Carlisle have stood there, covered in blood and in shock for several long seconds, before bringing out the bleach and gasoline for a crime scene clean.

As it is, Carlisle is minding his own business when suddenly an immortal child dressed like a medieval Eastern European appears before him. It says something in a foreign language that might mean "hi", he doesn't know but he says "hi" to it back, then the child blows up.

Carlisle stares at the rubble for a very long time, wondering if he is perhaps losing his mind. If, perhaps, Aro was right about animal blood being a slow suicide, and Carlisle has finally hit the limit for how long a vampire can go on without human blood.

He burns the rubble and prays for the child's soul, as an immortal child is doomed anyway, and keeps his silence about what happened. In part because there's a solid chance this was all in his imagination.

If Aro ever touches his hand again, and sees the immortal child that he burned a thousand years earlier resurrect, travel through time, all in order to blow up in front of Carlisle, he... well there comes a point where you say "nothing to see here" and refuse eye contact with the universe glitching.

Edward watches Randall blow up.

Randall, for the ignorants, is one of Carlisle's friends that came to witness for the Cullens in Breaking Dawn.

Suddenly he appears in front of Edward, says hi and how do you do, and then he blows up.

Edward tells Carlisle, who is saddened by this, and they try to piece the guy together. They fail.

Edward sends a somber thought to this noble man who agreed with Edward that the Cullens are awesome enough to be worth dying for.

Emmett watches Mary blow up.

Emmett will never admit it, but it's the coolest, raddest thing he's ever seen.

Esme watches Eleazar blow up.

Oh boy.

The Cullens are visiting the Denali. Irina has not been dead for long, but given the crystal clear memory of vampires, and the loss they already suffered (Sasha's death traumatized them) it doesn't really matter how long it's been, the Denali are devastated anyway.

The whole coven is as fragile as it can possibly get.

Then, Eleazar goes to join Esme in the kitchen, and explodes all over her and the kitchen.

The remaining Denali and the Cullens are called to the kitchen by the sound of Esme's screaming, and find her in hysterics, surrounded by gray rubble.

The Denali are near catatonic with grief at this point, while cooking has been ruined for Esme. One moment you're making food, the next people are exploding all over your kitchen.

Yeah.

Esme is not okay.

Jasper watches Nahuel blow up.

It's a shameful moment in his life.

But, hybrids are edible.

And that blood was splattered all over him.

Jasper has the worst control fail of his life, worse even than when he failed with Bella because this fail means he can't be around Renesmée anymore.

It's miserable all around.

The one highlight here is that it didn't happen when they were headed to the Volturi trial together.

Rosalie watches Emmett blow up.

Jesus christ, random Twilight character generator, just when I thought you were just going to give me boring results.

Not only does Rosalie lose the love of her life, the guy who kept her together, the one good thing she had going for her who made her life worth living, but he did so right in front of her, blowing up out of nowhere.

There's no explanation to be had, no culprit to be found, no reason for it. She had no goodbye, just as she can have no revenge.

She will never have closure.

Renesmée watches Renée blow up.

We go out on a high note, my god. Well done, generator, I'm laughing.

Renesmée is curious enough about her grandmother to go to Florida. She was going to watch from afar, but finds herself talking to the woman who raised her mother.

It's all going well until Renée suddenly explodes all over Renesmée.

Renesmée's first thought is nothing, she's in shock.

Then...

Well, she was controlled as an infant, so I don't think an adult Renesmée would lose it unless under extreme circumstances, like if she encountered a singer.

More, though, Renesmée might have any reasons of her own not to drink human blood, but she has been raised with this being a big no-no.

So she shouldn't.

However...

Is she ever going to get a better chance?

Ethically, she could easily argue this is the right choice. No one will be negatively affected by this, at least not directly.

The human is right there, already dead, and there's no body so while Renesmée does have to clean up the gore. Hell, if she laps up the blood on her clothes and the ground she will be cleaning up. Why waste perfectly good blood?

If Renesmée Cullen is ever going to have human blood, this is it.

It will come down to how much she respects her grandfather, and how important she believes Renée was to Bella.

-

Bonus, because I'm having way too much fun with this:

Bree watches Atheonodora blow up.

Bree is minding her own business when suddenly a vampire unlike any she has ever seen before, one with hazy eyes and odd skin, appears before her. They stare at each other. Then the woman blows up.

Bree takes this to mean that exploding is apparently something vampires just do sometimes, runs off in a panic and, sobbing, tells Riley.

Riley, having no idea what to make of any of this, tells her it was those evil yellow-eyes with their witchcraft and sorcery.

[flying-nimbus-cloud]

Reasons why myself and others thought that Evan Peters was going to play Peter Maximoff in WandaVision:

(Cause I'm tired of people being like, "There were no evidence or reasons to think he was the Quicksilver from the X-Men." Or "Your expectations were to high." 😧)

They casted Evan Peters. I know they needed to make it clear to the audience that this was a "fake" version of Wanda's brother, so using Evan Peters would connect some dots. But it's the fact that he's actually a random person that's so odd. Let's just say if Agatha used anyone else other than Ralph Bohner in WestView, would Wanda have reacted the same way? I guess it didn't matter how Wanda herself reacted specifically, because the writers were counting on the audience to react and assume who he's supposed to be because of his previous role in the X-Men franchise. Like imagine that scene with a completely different actor, not Evan or Aaron, it wouldn't have been the same right? Marvel knew that unfortunately and played off of our previous knowledge and nostalgia for Peter Maximoff from the X-Men.

He was playing the role of "Quicksilver". This is immensly self explanatory but Evan Peters did play Quicksilver in the X-Men and in WandaVision he literally played a version of Quicksilver. Sort-of. In the behind the scenes of WandaVision in Marvel Studios Assembled, the name they put beside Evan Peters was Pietro Maximoff, without the quotations. Why not use the name Ralph Bohner??? That was his actual identity in the show according to the finale, right? Anyway, his role was so meta and fun that fans truly thought it should mean something more.

His outfits. The first time we see Ralph, he has the same aesthetic and fashion sense as Peter Maximoff. The goddamn leather jacket. What character prominently loves to wear leather jackets? PETER MAXIMOFF. The sleeveless shirt with boxers is something Peter might chill or sleep in. The Halloween episode LITERALLY HAD HIM DRESSED AS QUICKSILVER. And the modern smurf outfit looks like Peter struggling with modern fashion lol. Ralph even had a watch on his wrist at all times, just like Peter does.

The personality. I saw people saying that his personality wasn't anything like Peters, and I disagree. I think Ralph had an over exaggerated version of Peters personality. He was a goofball man-child which is essentially what Peter is. Ralph stole kids candy and vandalized property and squashed pumpkins using his powers....sounds like something our mischievous theif would do with his powers, right? And we know that Evan Peters is a very diverse actor, so it isn't his acting abilities at fault here.

Environment and habit. Peter Maximoff would somewhat mooch off his mother, lived in her basement and turned it into a mancave. Ralph Bohner mooched off his fake sister while he slept on her couch and even had a mancave of his own, but instead of the basement it was the attic of his house. Both have very similar vibes.

Comic Relief. Peter was literally one of the only comic reliefs of the new X-Men movies which all took themselves pretty seriously, character and story wise. In WandaVision despite it all being immensely funny, Ralph's character was like a heightened comic relief compared to everyone else. Similar to a sitcom, it was all a bit more cheesy and on the nose with his humor.

The Nexus Commercial. It was essentially saying that Wanda is a Nexus being. Which means for the Multiverse, Wanda is the one constant in every realm or universe. And now its confirmed that she does have powerful Chaos Magic that can take and shape reality. So the possibility of a alternate universe twin brother showing up in her made up reality Hex wouldn't have been that far fetched.

Doctor Strange: Multiverse of Madness. It was confirmed and told right to the fans that WandaVision would go directly into the Multiverse of Madness. So assuming that characters who've already been established coming over to the MCU to cause some literal madness felt sort of expected. I can't be the only one that thinks having an actor who played Quicksilver in another universe showing up in the thing that was said to lead into a literal Multiverse movie isn't that crazy.

Powers. If one other person tells me that Agatha can literally give people superpowers because "mAgIC", imma lose my mind. That's so OP and the fact that she can grant people literal superpowers is never addressed annoys me greatly. Also if Agatha is so powerful, why couldn't she make Ralph at least look like Wandas actual brother lol.

The alarm. (I forgot to add this one until just now lol) When Ralph shows up at Wandas door an alarm goes off at Swords base that causes agents and Darcy to run around in a panic. Quickie fans and myself thought that indicated that something or someone, possibly Peter Maximoff had just entered the Hex. But the show never addressed the alarm again.

The creators and plot. Marvel knew what they were doing when casting Evan Peters, they just never planned to pay it off. Which is such a shame. Because this show was one of the coolest things Marvel has ever produced, it was enjoyable and super unique. But they have to understand by having a shit load of red herrings and plot holes with almost no payoff will and did leave fans rather frustrated. The Ralph Bohner joke is one plot thread that most can agree on, was an absolute let down.

[dirtyhelen]

i’ve got the girl on my mind (all the time)

Pairing: Carol Danvers x Reader

Rating: Explicit (18+)

Featuring: Smut; Humour; Light D/S; Vaginal Fingering; Oral Sex

Words: 4299

Summary: Carol’s wearing a suit. Black, tailored to perfection, but not feminine. The top two buttons of her stark white shirt are undone and her tie is loose around her neck. Her eyes scan the room absently until her gaze lands on you and she’s smiling even wider, lifting her glass and giving you a wink. 

“Oh my God, Bucky, she’s coming over here. Go away.” 

“What—why?” 

“Because I’m either about to embarrass myself or get seduced and I don’t want you here for either.” 

(Spoiler alert: it’s the second one.)

A/N: Woman Cozily Cupping Mug Secretly Thinking About Getting Absolutely Railed by Carol Danvers. This is just a silly little smutfic that I had way too much fun writing. Hope you enjoy! Title from Girls by Beatrice Eli.

“Hey.”

You look up from your computer screen to find Carol Danvers standing in your office doorway, still in her suit from the mission you’re currently writing your report on. She’s looking at you with the confident little half-smile you’ve become very familiar with over the past few weeks. It’s a look that never fails to bring a heat to your cheeks. And other places.

“Uh, hi,” you manage. You can see Bucky smirking at you from his spot lounging on your office sofa, his broken arm resting in a sling against his chest.

“Thanks for your help back there,” Carol says. “You too, Barnes,” she adds, with a nod in his direction. Bucky’s “help” in this case was mostly leaning over your shoulder offering unsolicited opinions on your work and avoiding the many elbow jabs you attempted to land to his ribcage.

It’s not easy being the Avengers’ favourite analyst.

“No problem. Anytime,” you reply.

Carol nods, says a quick, “See ya,” and then she’s gone, striding off down the corridor.

“Bye,” you sigh wistfully.

Bucky chuckles and your eyes snap to him. “You alright there, doll?” he asks, amusement clear in his voice. You glare at him and he only grins wider. “You just seem a little flustered is all. Heart’s beating a little fast.”

“Oh, fuck off, Bucky—you blush like a schoolgirl every time Thor looks at you.”

He squawks but can’t deny it. “Whatever,” he mutters, standing up and heading for the door. “Enjoy filling out your mission report and pining. I’ve got my own cocky blond captain to welcome home.” He winks, graciously letting the pen you throw hit him in the chest before he leaves.

You turn back to your computer and try to focus on your work, but your thoughts keep straying to Carol.

Bucky’s wrong; you do not pine. You only think about her when she’s around. And even then, only once or twice a day. Just casually wondering what she’s doing and if she might stop by your office.

Four or five times, max. Thinking about what she’s wearing, or if she’s done something different with her hair.

Okay, ten times total, on a bad day. Imagining how that easy confidence might translate to the bedroom. If her powers mean her fingers never cramp up, or if her jaw never gets sore.

Bucky’s right; you do pine.

You can’t help it! There’s just something about Carol that has you reverting to the heady infatuations of your teen years every time she’s around. She’s just so fucking cool. To the nerdy teenager you once were, she’s the coolest girl in school whose attention and approval you’re desperate for. To the nerdy adult you currently are, she’s the coolest girl in the universe whose attention and approval you’re desperate for and whose pussy you’d absolutely kill to eat like a five-course meal.

Luckily for your sanity (and your dominant hand), Carol’s not actually around that often. You only met her after the Snap was reversed, having been one of the Capital-D-Dusted, but she seems to spend most of her time checking in on the gazillion other planets in the universe.

At least, she used to. Apparently in the last few months she’s decided to reconnect with her birthplace, because suddenly she’s spending more time on-planet than off. This means the chances of her stopping by your office or running into you on the new-new compound have gone way up. Once every few months has become once a week or more.

Today’s little exchange is the second time she’s found you this week. She stops by, stands in your doorway in ripped jeans or a leather jacket, smirking like a fucking female James Dean, while she casually compliments your outfit or your work or the music playing from your computer. Which would be great—if you had any idea what it means.

You know what you want it to mean, but you and Carol have been doing this little dance for weeks now and she hasn’t so much as asked you if you like coffee, let alone invited you to drink some with her sometime.

Sure, you could ask her out, but you’re not about to risk getting rejected by Captain fucking Marvel and then having to guide her through some villain’s lair over comms the next day.

Shaking your head to try and physically dislodge all thoughts of Carol from your brain, you settle back into your mission report, determined to prove Bucky wrong for at least another hour or two so you can finish up and get home to your empty, lonely apartment.

+++

A couple of weeks and a handful of run-ins with Carol later, you’re standing in a ballroom on the compound in your nicest dress, taking a night off from thinking about Carol. Or trying to, anyway.

The Stark Foundation is hosting a charity gala, raising money for relief efforts for those impacted by the reversal of the Snap. It’s not really your thing, but the Avengers are required to attend and you never pass up an opportunity to watch Steve try to withhold his deep annoyance at having to interact with the richest members of American society.

“Look at his hand, Buck,” you point out. “We’ve reached the clenched fists portion of the evening.”

Bucky nods, taking a sip of his champagne. “Next up—the jaw muscle.”

“Poor guy,” you sigh. “He looks great, though.”

“That he does,” Bucky agrees, eyes scanning the room. “Speaking of looking great—” He lets out a low whistle, nodding his head toward the bar. You follow his gaze and your jaw drops.

“Oh my God.”

“Yep.”

“Look at her.”

It’s Carol, because of course it’s Carol. You weren’t expecting her to be here tonight—she’s not an Avenger in any official capacity and she doesn’t seem the type to enjoy a fancy party—but there she is, standing at the bar talking to Nat and surrounded by a handful of the One Percent.

And she’s wearing a suit. Black, tailored to perfection, but not feminine. The top two buttons of her stark white shirt are undone and her tie hangs loose around her neck.

You watch her laugh at something Natasha says, as she surveys the room absently, completely ignoring all the people clamouring for her attention. Then her gaze lands on you and she’s smiling even wider, lifting her glass and winking at you from the bar.

You manage a little wave back to her as your heart races and Bucky starts to laugh next to you. Carol leans down to say something in Nat’s ear that has her smirking and then she’s walking toward you and your heart stops entirely.

“Oh my God, Bucky, she’s coming over here. Go away,” you hiss.

“What—why?”

“Because I’m either about to embarrass myself or get seduced and I don’t want you to here for either. Go rescue your boyfriend.”

Bucky scoffs but does as you ask, snatching another glass of champagne off a passing waiter’s tray and heading toward Steve.

You have just enough time to swig back the last of your own glass and set it on a table before Carol’s standing in front of you, looking even better up close.

“Hey.” She greets you with a smile.

“Hi.”

“Love the dress,” she says, eyes sweeping down your body. She pinches a fold of your skirt between her finger and thumb, tugs at it lightly. “This colour looks great on you.”

“Oh, um, thank you. You look great too. Very James Bond,” you note and Carol grins. “How are you enjoying your first Avengers party?”

She rolls her eyes. “If one more man tries to tell me about his very cool job managing hedge funds I’m gonna blow a hole in the ceiling and fly out of here.”

“That is, unfortunately, one of the hallmarks of these things. The finance guys, not the ceiling holes,” you clarify. “Though actually, that’s not unheard of either.”

She laughs, about to say something else when her eyes drift over your shoulder. “The vultures are circling again,” she whispers. You turn your head to see a handful of men in expensive suits lingering a few feet away, obviously waiting for an opportunity to introduce themselves to Carol. “You wanna get out of here?” she asks. “Maybe go somewhere a little quieter?”

For a second your brain is frozen solid. You’ve never actually heard that phrase outside of movies and TV, and in movies and TV it usually only means one thing. But this is Carol Danvers and real life and you have no idea if she wants to fuck you or if she really does want to continue your conversation somewhere she’s not at risk of being interrupted by Elon Musk or a random politician.

“My office is just upstairs?” you offer once your brain thaws. There’s a part of you that wants to say, “Or how about we go to your room?” But that’s about ten times more suggestive than you’re comfortable being. Plus, the residences are on the other side of the compound so it’s also not that practical.

“Sounds great,” Carol says with a grin, and then she’s leading you out of the ballroom, a strong hand pressed to the small of your back.

+++

Carol leans against the wall while you fumble with your key card, hands in her pockets and looking so fucking good you want to fall to your knees and beg her to fuck your face right there in the hallway.

Neither of you said much during the short walk to your office but there was an almost palpable tension that has you keyed up and leaking into your panties even though Carol hasn’t so much as touched you beyond a guiding hand on your back.

In the next sixty seconds, as your pass your key card over the pad on the wall and reach down to open the door, it becomes very clear Carol meant “somewhere quieter” exactly the way they do in the movies.

As soon as the door is open she’s pushing you through, kicking it shut with her heel as she pushes you against the wall, hands pressing firm on your shoulders. You gasp when your back hits the wall.

She leans in and your eyes slip shut, waiting for her lips on yours, desperate to finally know how she tastes. But the kiss doesn’t come. She stops with her lips just inches from yours—you can feel the warmth of her breath against your face—and waits. You open your eyes and find her smirking, watching you burn for her and you nearly whimper, another rush of wetness flooding your underwear.

“Please,” you breathe, unable to stop yourself. You’ve wanted this for so long you think you might cry if she doesn’t at least kiss you.

“Please what?” she asks, voice calm and low like she isn’t standing between your spread legs. Like she isn’t affected at all.

“Kiss me. Please.” You can’t even find it in yourself to be embarrassed by how easy you are for her.

“Good girl,” she says softly and finally closes the distance between you. Her first kiss is sweet—a gentle press of lips, a soft hello—but it quickly turns deep and devouring. She licks along the seam of your mouth then sweeps her tongue inside until you’re gasping for air.

Jesus, it’s even better than you could have ever imagined. You don’t think you’ve ever been kissed like this, so thorough and greedy. Carol tastes like chapstick and rum and you’re drunk on her in moments.

One of her hands rests on your waist, while the other grips the back of your neck, holding you in place for her. She sets the pace, giving you time to breathe with teasing kisses along your jaw and neck before pressing her lips to yours, again and again.

She nudges her thigh between yours, pushing up against your cunt through layers of fabric and you grind down against her, moaning into her mouth at the pressure on your throbbing clit. Carol’s hands start to work at the hem of your dress, rucking it up your legs in fistfuls until she’s stopped by the barrier of her own body. She shifts her leg back, chuckling as you whine at the loss, and tugs your dress up so you’re exposed from the waist down.

She takes a moment to look at you, trailing her eyes from ankle to bellybutton and back, stopping at the space between your legs.

“Hold this,” she says, passing you a handful of your dress, and freeing up her own hand. She taps two fingers on your panties, just over your clit, and even that is enough to have you gasping. “Cute,” she comments, and then she’s sliding under the waistband and her fingers are on your bare skin.

She wastes no time, pressing her fingers between your folds. She quirks an eyebrow at the sopping mess of you, almost shamefully wet for so little contact. “I told you,” you stutter through shallow breaths, “you look good in a suit.”

Carol grins, dipping two fingers into your pussy. You roll your hips to try and coax them inside you. “I must look really good if you’re this easy already,” she teases.

She drags slick up to your clit, circling it as she kisses your neck, sucking occasionally then dragging her teeth over the tender flesh. It doesn’t take long before you’re coming, cunt pulsing as you moan her name. Before you can catch your breath she’s pulling you away from the wall, gripping you by the shoulders and turning you around. She marches you the handful of steps to your desk, leaning in until her lips are next to your ear. “Hands on the desk,” she orders.

You eagerly comply, resting the heels of your palms on the sharp edge of your desk. Carol unzips your dress, then pushes the straps off your shoulders and down your arms, pulling them over your hands one at time. The dress falls to your feet, followed by your panties, and suddenly you’re completely naked even as Carol stands fully clothed behind you.

She takes your hands in hers, gripping your wrists, and moves them to the other side of the desk, before pressing a palm to the small of your back with just the slightest hint of her power. She bends you over until your breasts press against the cool surface and your back is forced to arch, ass tilted on display for her.

Her hands stroke down the skin of your back and you shiver.

“Don’t worry, baby. I’ll warm you up,” she says, even though your trembling has nothing to do with the temperature of the room and you think she knows that.

She nudges her foot against one of yours and you widen your stance, spreading your legs wide. Her hand follows the curve of your ass to where you’re still wet and dripping for her, fingertips teasing at your opening.

It hits you suddenly that anyone could walk by and catch you in here. They’d take one look through the glass walls of your office and know. You didn’t even think to flip the switch to opaque the walls and now it’s too late; the panel is next to the door and you wouldn’t move now if flames were licking at your heels. Anyone passing by would see your dress on the floor, see your legs stretched wide around Carol’s figure and they’d know.

To your surprise, the idea of getting caught only adds to your excitement. You don’t have time to ponder your newly discovered kink because two of Carol’s fingers press into your pussy and immediately start thrusting fast and hard, working you back up so quickly your head spins.

The room is soon filled with the sound of her fingers moving inside you and the wet slap of her palm hitting your ass as she fucks you. Your whimpers and moans rise to join the chorus.

Carol presses close to your body, her front against your back, and the coarse fabric of her suit on your overheated skin adds to the fire building inside you. The vulnerability of being completely bare while she’s fully clothed and holding all the power has you melting against the desk, boneless and soft, there to take whatever she gives you.

Her lips press against your cheek in chaste kisses and she licks into your open mouth but you can’t keep up, so overwhelmed with the pleasure of her fingers inside you. She’s up to three now, filling and stretching you, fucking you faster than any normal human could.

She stands up straight again and brings her other hand around your hip to stroke at your clit, matching the speed of her thrusting fingers. You’re coming in seconds, even harder than before, clamping down on her fingers in vice-grip pulses as your hips stutter and jerk.

Carol brings you down gently this time, letting you hold her fingers inside as her other hand circles your clit slowly, giving you every aftershock of pleasure she can. She bends over you again, pressing gentle kisses to the sweat-slick skin of your neck and shoulders as you come down, only sliding her fingers from you when the last pulses are gone.

You manage to turn over, leaning back against the desk on boneless legs, just in time to see Carol licking at her fingers with a pleased-sounding hum. She winks at the hitch in your breath. “That was amazing, baby. Thank you,” she says.

You gape at her. “Thank me? Thank you. I’ll never be able to work here again,” you muse, breathless and hazy. “I’m only going to be thinking about that.”

She laughs and leans in for a kiss, trading the hint of your taste on her tongue.

“Can I go down on you? Please,” you blurt when she pulls away.

Her eyes widen slightly, like maybe she wasn’t expecting you to return the favour, but her lips curl in a teasing smile. “Well, since you asked so nicely.” She trades places with you so you’re standing in front of her as she leans against the desk. “On your knees,” she commands, and you follow, sinking to the floor on top of your discarded dress.

She undresses, but only as much as she has to, slouching off her jacket and leaving her shirt and tie. She undoes her belt buckle with deliberate slowness, then the button and fly of her pants. Finally, she toes off her shoes and removes her pants with surprising grace, and of course, she isn’t wearing underwear so you’re inches away from dark blond curls and pink folds. Your mouth waters with anticipation. You glance up for permission and Carol nods, spreading her legs. “Go ahead.”

God, you want this to be good for her. You settle in, resting your hands on the hard muscle of her thighs, feeling the soft hairs there against your palms. You spread her open with your tongue and take a few exploratory licks, getting her taste in your mouth, earthy and sharp, before you focus on her clit.

As expected, Carol takes charge of this too. She grinds against your lips, fists her hands in your hair to guide you, and keeps up a steady stream of praise. All, good girl; right there; doing so well for me, baby.

Other than the words spilling from her lips she’s quiet mostly, heavy breathing and the occasional gasp, but you know you must be doing something right because there’s no shortage of slick wetness seeping from her cunt to coat your tongue. You feel a distinct rush of pride whenever you manage to make her moan.

You pull out every trick you’ve got as you work, needing to make this good; you can’t bear the thought that this might be the only time you get to do this.

You lap at her clit in long, firm strokes, not sure how she feels about penetration and unwilling to take your lips away from her clit to ask. You keep your focus there, encouraged by the way her hips buck and her breaths get shorter and sharper like they’re being forced from her lungs in time with your tongue.

“Right there,” Carol gasps. “Don’t stop—fuck.” Your jaw aches but you hold steady, flicking over her clit as quickly as your tongue allows as her thighs tense and her breathing stops entirely. Then, with a long, low moan, all the tension leaves her at once as she comes, hips stuttering against your face. You slow down but keep up the motion until she twitches away.

Licking your lips, you sit back on your heels, face turned up to look at her. Her hair is messy, her cheeks and lips flushed deep pink, and her brown eyes seem even darker. She’s undone even more buttons on her shirt at some point and it gapes open, revealing a plain white bralette and an appealing strip of pale skin.

She smiles warmly down at you. “You look good on your knees,” she says, and your face burns as she studies you. Her eyes flit from your face, where you feel your mouth and chin still soaked with her slick, down your naked body, to your hands clasped in your lap. She reaches down, swipes a thumb across the mess on your face and presses it between your lips. Automatically you suck, pulling the taste of her into your mouth again until she takes her hand back.

There’s a moment or two of silence, and as you become aware of the soreness in your jaw and knees, and the fact that you’re kneeling naked on your office floor, you can’t help but start laughing, giggling uncontrollably as you flop down to sit on the floor completely. Carol laughs too, though less hysterically and seemingly in reaction to you more than any humour she finds in the situation.

“Oh my God,” you gasp through peals of laughter. “We just had sex. In my office. Where I work. This is not at all how I imagined this would go.”

Carol’s eyebrows raise at your accidental admission. “How exactly did you imagine it?” she asks. “And how often?” she adds, quirking her brows playfully.

You cover your face with your hands and groan as heat rushes to your cheeks yet again. Luckily, Carol rescues you from your embarrassment, effortlessly pulling you up from the floor for a kiss before pulling back to look you in the eyes. “Wanna get a pizza or something? I’m starving.”

+++

Thirty minutes later you’re sitting in a booth at the only pizza place in town, the two of you the only diners in the restaurant. Carol’s telling you a story about a brawl she got into at a bar on some planet called Argor while you both devour greasy slices of cheap pizza. Her feet nudge against yours occasionally under the table and she touches you casually as she talks.

You’re surprised at how comfortable it is between you. Even as you got dressed, handing each other articles of clothing you picked up off the floor and walking to the garage for your car. Carol’s easy charm and confidence keep the conversation running smoothly, and something about her demeanour must rub off on you because you don’t feel awkward at all.

You revel in the way she can be so dominant and poised but such a snarky dork at the same time, and you find her wide, genuine smiles just as charming as those cheeky little smirks.

As you’re nearing the end of your meal, with no mention of going out or even hooking up again, you decide you have to ask. You’re stupid enough (and infatuated enough) to agree to whatever arrangement Carol is looking for here, even though you know casual sex will only end in heartbreak for you, but you have to at least know, at the risk of spoiling the entire evening.

“So,” you start, gathering your courage. “Was this just—I mean, are you only looking for something casual right now, or?” you trail off.

Carol blinks at you over her coke. “Are you asking if I’m only interested in sex?”

You nod.

“Um, no,” she admits, shrugging. “The plan was actually to ask you out tonight. I was gonna show up, flirt with you a little—did you know you’re very cute when you’re flustered?” she teases, tapping your shin with her foot before continuing. “Then I was going to ask you out. But then you were wearing that dress and I got kinda carried away, I guess.”

“Oh. Wow.” Somehow, even after having her interest in you very must confirmed (at least physically) you still weren’t expecting that.

She nods. “Yep. I mean, I’ll be honest, I definitely would have tried to fuck you on the first date” she says, grinning at you over her drink, “but I did plan on there being a first date. Not that I have much experience with those on Earth, in this century.” She pauses, considering. “Is karaoke still cool?”

“Was karaoke ever cool?”

Carol’s lips twitch but she holds back her smile, quirking an eyebrow at you. “You should watch that attitude, baby, or I might have to punish you,” she says, pitching her voice low and smirking when your breath catches.

If you thought having a conclusive answer to the question, “Is Carol Danvers into me?” would keep her from dominating your thoughts, you were dead wrong. You’re pretty sure you’re going to be thinking about her even more now.

Bucky is going to be unbearably smug about it.

+++

A/N: Do I have a whole backstory of how Reader and Bucky became friends even though it has no relevance to this fic? Yes, yes I do.

Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoyed 😊 (Also, if you notice any typos or grammar mistakes, feel free to let me know!) Text divider courtesy of writeyourmindaway!

[diamondcitydarlin]

In reference to your previous post about Sy*ki but holy shit

'it just feels like loki was unashamedly remolded into a different character' and 'and in that way just feels like the product of a wishfulfillment fanfic'

Are you aware you have quite literally boiled down Loki to one of it's funniest core issues that I desperately hope you're aware of: It was based on the lead writer's self-insert script. I am not joking, Waldron wrote a script about a time-travelling male lead who can be easily argued to be a self-insert and about his fantasy woman being the coolest most kick-ass bestest woman ever but just can't help but love him and fall for his amazing male charms! For some reason !

Somebody found this script, and it turns out the entire Loki show is based on it, right down to having a President Loki counterpart. I can't remember the exact title, but it's something very similar to: 'the worst man in the universe and the woman who came to kill him.'

It's somewhere online and linked in a tumblr post somewhere, and god I wish I could find it for you.

Loki literally is a different character bc he's Waldron's fantasy man, doing nothing but still getting the blazing hot woman (Sylvie) bc women just can't resist him. I really hope you knew about this fact beforehand, or this is going to be a tragic anon to read.

Haha no worries anon, I'm not only aware of this script but I have (quite unfortunately) read it and as I do voiceover/narration work from time to time I've been tempted to do a funny dramatic reading of it lol but it really does enrage me and idk that this work, however laughably bad, is worth any of my time or energy so...probably won't do that. Might be funny tho.

Now, the truth is, there are elements of this screenplay that can work (though there aren't many and most of it is misogynist self unaware garbage). While Waldron didn't invent the TVA, he did provide inspo for the time-traveling story concept to be implemented in such a way that Loki could slot in...though the comics technically do the same thing, but I can't expect execs at Marvel Studios to uhm...*checks notes* be at all familiar with the comics themselves. I guess what I'm saying is, his script provided the inspo template they apparently needed to put all these pieces together, even though they all existed prior and could've been accessible with even just a cursory look at a wikipedia page for their own source material- but ANYWAY!

I also love the concept of President Loki, I think it can work well and I've outlined how I would've best implemented him in a story arc that would also address variant!Loki's character growth (that is to say that I would've started by giving him more than 5 secs of screentime lol). There is definitely some little bits of useful scrap here and there in this junkheap of a screenplay (that most certainly would've been ridiculed and rejected and shredded and deleted to hell had it been written by anyone not in Michael's demographic / sphere of influence) that can be salvaged into a story that is actually relevant to Loki.

But no one was interested in doing that, least of all Mike, who I'm sure has never had to suffer a shred of doubt in his life about this screenplay and felt fully entitled to pushing forward with the story as it was because fuck Loki, really, he's got a story to tell. Not a good one, and certainly not one that's going to appeal to most people who enjoy this character and will be tuning in, but fuck 'em, right? Why should he care?

Anyway, I'm glad that Owen and Tom did at least.

[sneezy-cheeseloaf]

recounting the entire avengers: endgame movie, which i only saw once when it came out, from memory

because i just took the SAT and i want to do anything except think about that so get ready for a fun ride full of holes and my reenactments of scenes and quotes that i remember from however many years it’s been now since endgame came out. buckle the fuckle up

movie opens, clint’s whole ass family fucking dies. cue killing spree fueled by grief and anger. HashTag Relatable

tony is floating through space with nebula and teaching her how to play paper football

holy shit is this how tony dies

“pep” ouc h

oh hey he’s home, dope

The Gang (tm) learns where thanos’s farm is somehow i can’t really remember

“perhaps i judged you too harshly”

“???? thor????” “what? i went for the head”

“five” five what?? days?? weeks??? months???? oh boy i can’t wait to find ou- “years later” HUH???????

steve looks the exact same, so i guess he kept up that workout schedule even through the snap. i mean good for him honestly

and is also running a talk therapy group like sam did

a single smidgen of gay representation but it’s a good start ig

i don’t really remember what everyone else was doing, i just know that tony and pep have morgan now but idk if that gets revealed now or later

the only reason we had a movie is because of a rat. everyone say thank you to Rat for releasing scott lang, please. round of applause

scott’s daughter is all grown up and catch me sobbing over the fact that he wasn’t there to see it

somewhere in here nat is crying and eating a sandwich and honestly girl same

“hey!!! it’s me!!!! scott lang!!! ant man???? also what the hell happened???? lemme IN”

cue scott lang having a single brain cell and bringing up time travel. i think it was him that proposed the idea. maybe not. but imma give him credit

oh yeah bruce and hulk are besties now and bruce is just permanently Like That

and cue everyone being shook at the idea of time travel

time to go see Science Man at his house on the lake

“i wish you had come for anything else.” ouch

gang leaves dejectedly

peter. that’s it. and suddenly tony is all hands on deck

cue science mumbo jumbo in the middle of the night while he eats something out of a bag that i can’t remember

“shit!!” “sHiT!!!” “NO”

“i love you 3000″

Science Man reveals that he has, indeed cracked the code to literal time travel

cue nat, the only person with an umbrella, going to find clint who is busy with murder, as he does

“don’t do that. don’t give me home” stfu budapest man and get in the car.

thor has. enlargened. and is now playing fortnight with korg as a means to cope with what happened plus losing loki, as i think we all would

The Gang is back together and working (surprisingly) coordinately and throwing ideas around and it’s actually very cute. and it makes my heart very happy. and i want to cry every time i think about it because we all know what comes next

scott’s taco gets blown away. bruce gives him another. all is well in the world

and in this exhibit we see the only brain cell in the whole group, which is being used by rhodey at all times

“why don’t we just,,,, (choking motion)” “to a BABY???”

during the time tests someone gets reverted to a baby but i don’t remember who and it’s highkey disturbing

“i consider this an absolute win!!”

cue slo mo walk with the cool white time suits that everyone looks so good in

“see you in a minute” that smile. she looks so happy. sobbing

i think it’s in here that all the color go through steve’s eyes, so let’s just take a minute to acknowledge how pretty he is

“just for the record, that suit did nothing for your ass.” “i don’t remember asking you to look”

“that’s america’s ass.” yes it is scott you’re absolutely right

“i cOuLd dO tHiS aLL dAy” “yeah i knoOoOW”

time for tony to give tony a heart attack and then just stare in what i can only assume is amusement. i’m pretty sure that comes after america’s ass but maybe not

somewhere in here steve is just staring at peggy through blinds and it’s sad when you see it but when you think about it afterwards, it’s so funny for no reason

time to get whacked by a very angry hulk who was not allowed to use the elevator

“NO STAIRS”

tony goes flying. so does the tesseract. loki, in handcuffs, is like “oh bet this is mine now” and. Leaves.

i’m pretty sure it’s bruce who goes and gets schooled by The Ancient One on the multiverse, and i say it’s bruce because i think he’s the only one out of The Gang who could ever actually wrap his head around it

i don’t remember exactly how they get the tesseract but they do

thor and rocket are in asgard and thor has a panic attack, as I think we all would if we had to talk to our dead mother and pretend like we don't know what's going to happen

and remember kids, slapping someone is not the way to handle a panic attack. anyways

a mother always knows

"i'm still worthy!!!!" you always were, thor. you never stopped being worthy

and we have our hammer back

cue sobbing on vormir

“clint. it’s ok. it’s ok.” that smile.

nat’s fucking dead and i’m fucking dead inside let’s keep this party goin

other stones are recovered and i don’t really remember how but hey we got all six

“where’s nat?” cue more sobbing from me and from clint as you can see each and every team member’s heart drop to the fucking floor. especially steve

yeah maybe we’re doing this for half the universe and all the people we lost, but mostly for nat now

tony’s makeshift infinity gauntlet has entered the chat

Green Man is the only one who can physically take the power of the stones, so the fate of literally everything they have ever done up to this point is on him

snap rest in peace bruce’s arm

cue every single person in the theater holding their breath

“guys. it worked.”

cue explosion as their facility gets bombed and i am terrified that it has killed the entire gang

but it obviously has not and i am once again a Class A Idiot

i can't remember if it’s steve or tony who wakes up first but one shakes the other awake and is like “get the fuck up bitch idk what just happened but we got a problem”

everyone is mostly fine. but they’re all alive and that’s what matters

and now we have the setting for the entire rest of the movie basically

oh hey thanos. that’s uh. that’s a big army you got there

i don’t really remember everything that happened with The Past thanos, gamora, and nebula but i remember that gamora once again sees what a twat her adoptive father is and is like “oh hell na”

cue the gang fighting for their lives against Past thanos. literally

oh shit thor’s about to be killed????

OH MY GOD HE HAS THE HAMMER

cue the theater screaming as they should

hell yeah. bonk that giant space grape with the god of thunder’s hammer. you go steve. and look like a badass doing it as you should

shit’s still fucked and they eventually get their asses handed to them one by one

somewhere in here the shield breaks just like we saw in age of ultron. and like damn bro i liked that thing

steve stands up by himself because bitch. you cant kill him unless he says so. he dies on his own terms. he didn’t live for over a fucking century to die like this

our mans is standing up against a whole ass army knowing full well that he can’t win but damn if he aint ready to try

“ok listen strange. you have to open the portal to his left. his LEFT. you hear me???”

“steve. STEVE. on your left.”

cue the most goosebump-inducing scene that i have ever seen and probably will ever see. i would do anything to see that scene for the first time again. that feeling was like nothing i’ve ever experienced

the amazing symphonics are NOT helping my already-about-to-explode-from-excitement heart

now the gang’s ALL here. and we all cry because all of our peeps are back from the dead and we all missed them and highkey grieved for them after infinity war

i can’t remember if steve actually sees bucky yet but i think he does and i wanted to cry on the spot because not only did i miss bucky but man did i just want them to see each other again

cue sick pan of the whole ass marvel roster like smash ultimate, including howard duck somewhere in there

PETER OUR BOY SWINGIN ON IN

“AVENGERS. assemble.” “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA”

but we all know damn well that not a single person could hear him whisper that shit. like steve bro speak up a little

and the battle for the ages commences

we get to see all our favorite boys are girls fuck shit up and it’s absolutely incredible. wow it really feels like someone’s missing who could that be.

this is now a very elaborate game of keepaway

“catch” “Catch” “CATCH “CATCH”

“hey queens” he remembered. catch me cryin

“hey peter. got somethin for me?” god i love her. flew through a whole ass spaceship. no stoppin her

t'challa remembers clint's name. he did care

oh yeah scott is fucking humongous again, but third time’s the charm ig. maybe he won't pass the fuck out this time

somewhere in here, strange starts holding like. an entire ocean back and i dont really remember where it came from

we get a whole segment of marvel women kicking ass and taking names and i think i just need to take a minute. WE collectively need to take a minute

carol flies straight through a spaceship and everyone is like ???? hello????? where have you been?????????

carol gets literally headbutted by thanos and doesnt move a fucking inch. and that look of murder in her eyes. she could tell me to walk into a pit of lava and i would not question it. the power

“launch the missiles!!!” “but sir, our army-” “DO IT”

damn thanos our expectations for you were low but holy fuck

somewhere in here i think petter quill sees Past gamora and is like gamora???? and she like kicks him in the balls or somethin and is like “this is the ones i picked?????”

the fight continues and honestly a lot of it’s a blur but damn was it not the coolest thing i’ve ever seen. 

cue strange knowing exactly how this was gonna go down, and holding up a single finger

i dont think ive ever seen that look on tony's face before

oh shit thanos has the gauntlet and all the stones. fuck.

wait holdup that gauntlet looks a little funky

WAIT HOLDUP

“i am inevitable”

“and i. am iron man.”

the theater, once again holds its breath

all is lowkey calm and everyone is shook

thanos’s entire army slowly fades away. including one of those big worm things that almost eats (i think it was) rocket but like. dusts right as it hits the ground and is a really cool shot

and thanos sits down on a rock. and finally is gone. and it's so cathartic

oh joyous day!! they’ve won!! they’ve done it!!! wait holdup where’s tony. i remember what happened to bruce where the fuck is tony

wait

wait hold on

wait hold on a minute

“we did it. we won, mr stark. we won. please, mr stark”

“pep.”

“it’s ok. you can rest. you can rest.”

i have officially passed away and am a sobbing mess. you can’t do this to me. he’s gonna come back. there’s no way. tony stark doesn’t die. no.

this is a fucking funeral. i am going to combust into tears

“proof that tony stark has a heart”

i just wanted him to be able to see morgan grow up.

but him and nat are eating shawarma together in the sky now.

“i’m recording this in case something goes wrong, which it won’t.”

“i love you 3000.”

oh we’re still rolling. oh we don’t even get a minute to process

steve is leaving??? wait holdup we cant lose both. no

“are you sure about this?” “i have to”

“i’m with you til the end of the line” so that was a fucking lie

but steve deserves to do what makes him happy. so i can’t be too mad. actually, nah i aint even mad i’m just sad

bucky looks so dejected. so sad. someone please give him a hug. he desperately needs it

oh hey steve. but you’re old now. hey then, grandpa. how did you. get there

buck and sam go talk to him as they should

“you wanna talk about her?” “no, i don’t think i will”

“how does it feel?” “like it belongs to someone else”

sam has officially inhered the shield, and by extension, his very own bucky barnes. it’s a packaged deal

clint’s got his family back. and they can finally finish their picnic or whatever they were doing at the beginning of the movies

and steve finally got that dance. finally. and he looks so happy. so content.

and that’s about all i remember

i have not watched endgame since i saw it in theaters when it came out because i absolutely do not have the emotional stability to do it again. but damn the disney plus shows have been bangin

i hope you enjoyed the ride, thank you for joining me in my. whatever the fuck this is

[365days365movies]

January 16, 2021: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2014)

I am a massive comic book nerd. Not unusual these days, to be fair. But I’m definitely up there, as far as my obsession with Marvel and DC go. And, yeah, I stick mostly to those two houses, and their various imprints.

Why do I bring this up? Well...remember this movie?

Kick-Ass was a pretty big deal when it came out in 2010, as it was a Marvel Comics movie that was completely unrelated to the relatively new Marvel Cinematic Universe. Based of a 2008 comic book written by Mark Millar and drawn by John Romita Jr., the film was directed by Matthew Vaughn, and featured a more realistic take on how real-world superheroes would actually work.

Vaughn and Millar by this point at least, were friends. Around 2012, they’re getting drunk at a pub together, and talking movies. The topic of spy movies come up, and how there hasn’t really been a good, non-parody, fun spy movie, and that there should be. And that was the bulk of their conversation.

Enter Dave Gibbons, a legendary comic book artist, whom you may know from drawing the comic book that was turned into this:

Oh yeah, he’s a big deal. Gibbons and Millar end up getting together to write a fun spy comic book based on this idea. Vaughn, meanwhile, is getting ready to direct X-Men: Days of Future Past, the sequel to X-Men: First Class, which Vaughn directed. That’s a good movie, by the way, even if I have...issues...with the treatment of the X-Men in film. Maybe one day I’ll get into that, we’ll see what happens. Ask me about it if you’re curious.

Anyway, Millar goes to Vaughn with this script, and Vaughan looks at it and realizes that he needs to direct this movie before somebody else makes it. So he leaves Days of Future Past, and he signs on to...

I feel like it’s an obligation, as a comic book dude, to watch this film. I should also read the book, but I didn’t do that with Kick-Ass, so to hell with it! Let’s get this recap started! SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap

Starting off with some Money for Nothing, and somewhere in the Middle East, 1997! We go into a stone temple, where some kind of mission is taking place. A surprise grenade causes the loss of one of the agents. The surviving agents are Merlin (Mark Strong), Lancelot AKA James Spencer (Jack Davenport), and Galahad, AKA Harry Hart (Colin Firth).

Hart, feeling guilty over the death of this agent, tells his wife, Michelle (Samantha Womack) and child Eggsy (yes, Eggsy) of his sacrifice, and gives Eggsy a medal.

From there, we jump forward 17 years, to Argentina where...Mark Hamill?

Holy shit, it’s Mark Hamill! Apparently, he’s playing Professor James Arnold, and being held hostage by a group of mysterious men. Just then, he’s rescued by Lancelot, showing up with some classic James Bond-style swagger and asking for a cup of sugar, sardonically.

He kicks the asses of these guys, but is SLICED IN HALF BY A MAN WITH SWORD LEGS WHAT THE FUCK????

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize I was watching the best thing I’ve ever goddamn seen. And as if that weren’t enough, she’s working for Samuel L. “Motherfucker” Jackson, playing Richmond Valentine. I am...I am so pleased.

We go to the Kingsmen headquarters, where Lancelot is being mourned by the Kingmen and their leader MICHAEL CAINE, REALLY, HOLY SHIT

Ahem. Sorry, uh...the star-studded cast has basically caused me to have a minor aneurysm. Caine plays Arthur, the leader of the Kingsmen. Get it? I can dig it, I’m a sucker for a good Arthurian reference. Anyway, now that Lancelot’s dead, it’s time to find a new candidate. Apparently, the man that died 17 years ago was part of an “experiment” by Hart, which Arthur says has failed. Galahad calls Arthur a snob, and says that they need to evolve with the times. \

Speaking of that former candidate, how’s his son doing?

Not stellar, it seems. His mom is dating a very unsavory gentleman, and not really taking good care of her youngest daughter. Eggsy (Taron Egerton), on the other hand, is a carefree delinquent. After engaging in an entertaining backwards car chase with the police (it’s cool), he gets arrested. He refuses to give up his friends, and he instead asks for a phone call.He looks at the medallion around his neck, and remembers that he can use the number of the back to contact someone for help. He uses a specific code phrase, but it appears not to have worked. But then, Eggsy is turned loose with little more than a phone call. That’s when Eggsy meets Hart.

We find out that Eggsy has a high IQ and Olympic-level athletics, but has dropped out of the Marines, and has been arrested for drugs and other illegal activities. After being read out by Hart, Eggsy goes on an anger-filled diatribe about the differences in privilege between the two of them. Although it’s short, it’s a powerful speech.

But that speech is interrupted by the owner of the car that Eggsy stole the previous night, as well as his gang. They’re yearning for a fight with Eggsy, and they threaten Hart. He doesn’t take that well, as he shuts the doors and windoes to the pub. Time to teach a lesson.

Yup, I’m giving this fight the posted video award. It might be short, but it’s also one of the best and coolest sequences I’ve ever seen in a spy movie. And OH, it’s giving me that gadget shit I was missing from the Bond movies.

After one of the most enjoyable fight sequences I’ve seen in a while, Eggsy’s understandably stunned. So is his stepfather Dean (Geoff Bell), the leader of the gang that Hart beat up in the pub. He’s not happy, and he beats Eggsy in their apartment, and that scene is...WHOOF. Much to their surprise, however, Hart’s left a device on Eggsy’s back. He threatens Dean through the device, and tells Eggsy to meet him at a tailor that he’d mentioned.

Once Eggsy escapes from Dean and the gang via nest parkour tricks, he makes his way to the tailor, where Hart officially brings him into the fold, giving him the opportunity to become a Kingsman. He exposits the history of the agency as a private group of spies, meant to protect the world while not bowing to the bureaucracy that plagues government-affiliated spy institutions.

We get to go to Kingsman Headquarters proper, and yeah...yeah, it’s cool. As compared to the other recruits, Eggsy’s pretty obviously out of place. This, of course, is part of the point, as Hart believes the Kingsmen could use someone with different life experiences and background. That would be the experiment mentioned earlier.

Eggsy’s competitors include Roxy (Sophie Cookson), who appears to actually be polite to him, unlike most of the potentials. They settle in for the night...but not for long. Their quarters fills with water, as the entirety of the Kingsmen head towards the showerheads and toilets for air. While they all succeed, Eggsy is the one who actually gets everyone out, by literally punching the window.

Unfortunately, for one of the candidates...it’s too late. These candidates could die in the hiring process. Rough.

Sadly, Mark Hamill also doesn’t quite make it, as Hart finds him, surprisingly freed from Valentine’s capture. As he’s questioned, Valentine is forced to kill him via Suicide Squad implant, and barely escaped from his men. Valentine and his henchwoman, Gazelle (Sofia Boutella) are trying to figure out who the Kingsmen are, to no avail at the moment.

Back with Merlin, who’s training the Kingsman candidates! They’re all told to get a puppy! Aw. Eggsy chooses J.B. a pug, under the mistaken impression that it’s a bulldog. And I’m not a pug person...but that puppy is cute as shit.

Time marches on, and the Kingsmen continue their training. Eggsy’s colleagues continue to discriminate against him, especially Charlie (Edward Holcroft). Hart, who was knocked out by the explosion, eventually wakes up. Valentine goes around to political leaders and proposes his plan to “save the world,” whatever that’s about to mean. Apparently, that includes giving the King of Sweden a surgical implant of some kind. Huh.

This, of course includes some, uh...conflict with Gazelle.

Awesome.

Eggsy’s in the final 6! As Hart congratulates him over this, we finally get some exposition on Richmond Valentine’s plan. See, that implant is the Suicide Squad bomb that killed Hamill, and Gazelle also has one. Additionally, he’s released a plan to the world that will provide free internet and phone data...forever. Not ominous at all, that.

After a cool skydiving training sequence, only three candidates are left. Hart, meanwhile, poses as a wealthy philanthropist, donating to Valentine’s cause. As a result, he’s treated to an extravagant dinner...of McDonald’s. Yes, it is the best product placement I’ve seen in a while, in case you were wondering. That reveal was hilarious.

Anyway, their conversation turns from talking about climate change studies and concerns, to their opinion of James Bond movies, in a lovely little piece of meta flavor. At this point, they would appear to understand each other’s role in the play, as it were. Forgot to mention, Valentine’s been kidnapping anyone who disagrees with his goals, while also distributing his free internet cards. So, there’s that. But he’s also trying to figure out what exactly the “Kingsmen” are. Speaking of...

Our three remaining Kingsman candidates are assigned a mission to seduce a young dignitary. However, all three of them make a mistake, and allow themselves to get drugged at a party, by someone wanting to know who Hart and Kingsmen are. When Eggsy wakes up, he’s been strapped to train tracks. Uh oh.

Despite an oncoming train, Eggsy doesn’t give the man any formation. Which, of course, was the point. It’s Hart, helping to give the Kingsman candidates a little loyalty test, which both Eggsy and Roxy pass with flying colors. But Charlie...Charlie’s a coward who immediately gives everything up, including Arthur himself.

Eggsy gets to spend 24 hours with Hart, before being thrown headfirst into a mission. Hart explains that being a Kingsman means being a gentleman, which Eggsy isn’t. Hart, of course, plans to fix that.

They head to the tailor, and check out some spy gadgets. And much to their surprise, Valentine is also there, under the guise of getting a suit. Hart takes the opportunity to recommend a hatter, who gives him a top hat with built in listening devices. I love it.

Eggsy, meanwhile, speaks with Arthur at Kingsman HQ. He’s commanded to perform one final test: kill his pug, J.B. Which...yeah, damn, that sucks. He doesn’t do it, understandably. Unfortunately...Roxy does kill her dog. She succeeds...and Eggsy’s kicked out of the Kingsman candidacy. Which feels like a bullshit play, if I’m honest.

Eggsy steals Arthur’s car, then goes back home. As he’s about to confront his stepfather, Hart brings back the car via remote access, then explains to Eggsy that the gun was filled with blanks, and that Eggsy ended up giving up his shot. He also reveals that the first candidate to die...didn’t actually die! It’s been a ruse all along, meant to test the candidates under the strictest of conditions. Which sucks, obviously, because Eggsy’s out of the program.

And at that point, Valentine says something of note, revealing that he plans to go to a hate church in Kentucky to begin his master plan. Hart heads there, and tells Eggsy to stay put.

We get treated to just...just the loveliest of sermons. Disgusting. But then...

...that’s the point, isn’t it?

Because Valentine uses the SIM cards to create a signal that drives the parishioners crazy. Hart’s also in the church, however, and he also starts going crazy. Which leaves the question: what happens when a highly trained spy goes up against untrained civilians, has a bunch of gadgets...and has absolutely no restraint whatsoever?

A MASSACRE, THAT’S WHAT HAPPENS. And most surprisingly, it’s a massacre that we actually SEE. Hart basically kills almost EVERYBODY in the church. I’ll put the video up, but...y’know, be warned here. It ain’t pretty.

Hart comes to, and realizes exactly what he’s done. He leaves, only to be confronted by Valentine and his men. The Bond metaphor finally comes full-circle, explained directly by Valentine. But instead of explaining his whole plan and devising some complicated way to kill Hart that he’ll inevitably escape from...

He just shoots Hart in the head. Holy shit. And this is while Merlin, Arthur, and yes, Eggsy watch on through Hart’s home feed. Looks like a new Kingsman is needed.

Arthur tells Merlin to assemble the Kingsmen. But Eggsy...Eggsy has other plans. Thinking on Hart’s words about wanting to do something good with his life. He goes to Arthur to talk to him about Hart’s death. Arthur invites him in for brandy. And that’s...when my mind exploded.

HE’S FUCKING IN ON IT?!? Michael Caine, NOOOO! Turns out that Valentine’s convinced Arthur of his true plan: a culling. He believes that the Earth’s temperature because there’s simply too much humanity, like a body trying to kill a virus. And so...he’s going to make the virus exterminate itself. And that argument’s enough to win Caine over.

Turns out that the implant is meant to protect those individuals against a neurological signal emitted by the SIM cards, the same one that went off in the church. Arthur, realizing that Eggsy understands exactly what’s going on, poisons him, then asks if he would like to join them. Eggsy refuses...and Arthur sets off the remote poison to kill him.

But NOPE! EGGSY SWITCHED THE FUCKIN’ GLASSES! I love this movie. Arthur dies, and Eggsy uses the opportunity to dig the implant from his neck. He takes that and Arthur’s phone to Merlin and Lancelot, who realize that they can’t trust anyone at this point. And so, the three of them - yes, the three of them - go to stop Valentine.

And, yeah...I can dig it. OH HOW I CAN DIG it.

Roxy goes up in an experimental vehicle to bring down the satellite, Merlin is flying the plane, and Eggsy...Eggsy’s the one going in disguised as Arthur, in order to infiltrate the mountain lair of Valentine. Here, he and the other beneficiaries wait it out, while the world literally tears itself apart. Now wearing a bespoke suit and playing the role of a gentleman, Eggsy enters the lion’s den.

But as expected, it’s time to hit some snags. Roxy waits juuuuuust a little too long, and one of the balloons in her craft pops. As for Eggsy, he meets an old “friend” of his in the form of Charlie, who’s now working for Valentine.

The missile’s fired just in time, as Charlie’s taken out and Eggsy runs for the plane. AWESOME climax here as Eggsy escapes. I mean it; it is VERY cool. They succeed JUST in time, and the satellite is destroyed. However, Valentine’s still managed to partially start the process, and they can’t do anything about that.

Eggsy’s gotta go BACK in, before Valentine gets another satellite to trigger the signal worldwide. Now armed with Hart’s AWESOME umbrella, he makes his way there under heavy gunshot. They’re also teaming up against Merlin in the plane, so he’s not doing great. And that when Eggsy has the idea...to turn the implants on. ALL of them.

It’s amazing. Violence in fireworks. So, it’s too bad that it doesn’t stop the signal. It works, and people start to tear each other apart all across the world. But only for was long as Valentine has his hands on the desk. Eggsy manages to stop that by laying down some suppressive fire.

That provokes a response.

..This movie is, for lack of a better term, fucking rad.

Gazelle and Eggsy have an awesome fight, worthy of any James Bond movie, seriously. I really want to give it the video post honor, but I’ve done that too much already. For god’s sake, I literally JUST did that.

Gazelle dies (it’s kinda goofy how she dies, if I’m honest), and Eggsy kills Valentine with her prosthetic leg. It’s over, as the signal ends, and Eggsy even gets the girl. Not Roxy, the Princess of Sweden. Not going into it, but it’s funny.

And that’s Kingsman: The Secret Service! Honestly, I gotta say, that was a rad-as-shit movie, and...

Ooh, a mid-credits scene! Eggsy goes back home, to the pub, where his stepfather and mom are hanging out with the gang. And let’s just say...Dean’s gonna get a little comeuppance. Manners, after all, maketh man.

OK, THAT’S Kingsman: The Secret Service! And that, again, was pretty rad. See you in the Epilogue in a few!

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers #233: The Annihilation Gambit!

July, 1983

“Up against... the BARRIER!”

Pretty cool cover!

So here’s the thing. This is a crossover with Fantastic Four. John Byrne even gets a credit for breakdowns and co-plotting.

I’m not going to completely cover the related FF issues but I’ll dip into the relevant parts of them.

For example, let’s discuss Fantastic Four #254 which coincided with the ending of Avengers #232. The thing with the fleeing crowd that didn’t know what they were fleeing and the invisible wall She-Hulk bonked off of? What’s the deal with that?

Allow me to summarize.

The Fantastic Four went off to explore the Negative Zone and had a series of weird and silly adventures. They left Alicia behind to babysit Franklin but Annihilus popped out of the portal and took them captive. This happened back in #251 so he’s had the run of the place for a while!

He’s been making modifications to the Negative Zone Access Portal and adapting the generators. For whatever reason, switching the machine on sends out potent fear waves which causes everyone to flee the area of the Baxter Building. There scene where She-Hulk and Wasp see the fleeing crowd and bonks off an invisible wall repeats.

And that’s all you need to know! Annihilus is messing around, potent fear waves, invisible wall, Avengers!

Now let’s get to the Avengers part of this crossover.

The Avengers issue of Avengers starts with Captain Marvel booking it over New York musing about what an eventful day she’s had as a full-fledged Avenger.

What with having to rescue President Reagan after he was taken hostage by soggy swamp men. Then Eros (Starfox) showed up and insisted on joining. Then Monica, Starfox, and Thor went off to catch Plantman who engineered the presidential hostage thing. All of that in only six hours!

Monica Marvel Rambeau is on her way to the mansion to give her report when she too bonks into something.

Captain Marvel: “It was as if I bounced off some sort of invisible wall! But that doesn’t make sense!”

Yeah, it really doesn’t!

As Monica herself points out, the wall is invisible ie light is going through it. So her light form should be able to go through it too!

Its a very selective invisible wall, apparently. And it gives her a weird ominous feel to touch.

But she’s not going to let sleeping walls lie and decides to try different energy forms to see if anything can get through.

Annnnnnd. Radios, cosmic rays, electricity, infrared, x-rays, and even gamma rays can’t get through. Although, Monica has the feeling that the wall gave a bit under the gamma, but not enough to matter.

Monica detours around the wall and heads back towards her original destination. AVENGERS MANSION!

When Monica arrives, cool team leader Janet the Wasp van Dyne is talking with the police. Obviously the police aren’t equipped to deal with an invisible dome.

At the least, though, Jan uses the NYPD data-link to figure out where the giant dome is centered.

Also, Wasp has another new outfit. This is the same day.

But its pretty snazzy black and purple so I won’t complain.

Monica tells Jan that Big Trouble is brewing and Jan is basically like ‘oh god now what’ but thankfully Monica and Jan are on the same case.

MEANWHILE, Steve Rogers’ modest Brooklyn Heights apartment. Where Steve Rogers is not having a conversation about his feelings with his girlfriend Bernie Rosenthal because his feelings are classified!

Steve Rogers: “In a way. It’s Avengers business!”

I’d mock this but what has Steve bummed and pacing like a caged bear is that Tony Stark, his good pal who he’ll never Civil War with, has quit the Avengers, gave Iron Man up to someone else, and is trying to drink himself to unconsciousness.

Which is very concerning! But also something you can’t really share the full details of without revealing a lot of secrets that aren’t yours to reveal! I feel like you could at least say ‘I think my friend is an alcoholic but won’t accept my help’ without spilling secrets but shrug.

At least Steve is open with Bernie. Yeah, she knows he’s Captain America!

Truly, the man is a role model. Not just as a superhero but also on dating.

Steve gets a BZZZT on his snazzy cool radio wristwatch, possibly the coolest thing to wear on one’s wrist ha ha don’t think about Avengers wearing Apple Watches.

Anyway, Jan updates Steve on the invisible - and expanding - dome. And that weirdly, there doesn’t seem to be anyone trapped inside because everyone ran away from it because its inexplicably spooky.

So Steve rushes off to Save The Day, stripping mid-run because that’s the kind of casualness and comfort you can have in a relationship where you’re open and honest.

See how Steve didn’t have to make up a half-assed excuse? Maybe think about that, Spider-Man. You’re not in this scene but maybe think about it.

Meanwhile again, the Baxter Building.

Where thankfully for people not reading Fantastic Four, we get an echoed scene where Annihilus motive rants at captive audience Alicia Masters.

Basically, Annihilus is feeling very bummed that Blastaar stole his Cosmic Control Rod in Marvel Two-in-One #75. For one thing, it really tied his whole outfit together. For another, without it, Annihilus isn’t immortal and he’s freaking out about dying. And not dying eventually, he’s apparently got Doom-level messed up face now from how he’s degrading.

So really the only real way to come to terms with mortality is to destroy two whole universes so you don’t die alone.

Annihilus broke Reed’s Negative Zone Access Portal and used its power core to power his own impenetrable NULL-FIELD. Which I guess is the invisible dome.

Annihilus: “How wonderfully ironic -- that a device which once produced a gateway between two universes should provide the power to utterly destroy them!”

I’m missing some middle steps here but basically invisible dome -> ??? -> destruction of the Negative Zone and the, uh, Positive Zone.

A MEEP MEEP from a computer which may be a roadrunner gets Annihilus’ attention and he sees to his shock that She-Hulk has planted her feet and is trying to bodily hold the dome back.

It’s not working but its slowing it almost imperceptibly and even that’s supposed to be impossible.

Annihilus: “What manner of creature is this?!”

I’d guess gamma-powered She-Hulk is having a tiny bit of luck against the dome for the same reason that Captain Marvel did when she tried gamma radiation.

Wasp, Captain America, and Captain Marvel show up to help She-Hulk.

She-Hulk tells the other Avengers that the invisible dome keeps “oozing over everything inanimate” but that she(-Hulk) can’t stop it.

Cap suggests using his shield despite the risk of losing it inside the dome.

Because, when Captain America uses his mighty shield, all who oppose his shield must yield. So maybe he’s onto something.

She-Hulk plants the shield in the ground in the path of the dome.

So good news/bad news.

The dome doesn’t swallow up the shield. But the dome just pushes the shield, carving a little furrow in the ground.

That cracks me up a little, I will not lie.

I don’t know why Cap’s super cool shield is exempt from getting schlorped up by the null-field but now they have a good idea where it is without having to bonk!

Speaking of bonk, Thor and Starfox come to join the party and Starfox runs right into the invisible wall.

Hee hee hee.

He also drops right into She-Hulk’s arms and they have a mutual banter moment.

She-Hulk: “Hmm! I’ve never had anyone fall for me like this before!”

Starfox: “I assure you it was totally unplanned... but rarely have I fallen into such open and inviting arms!”

If I recall correctly, they do hook up at one point and then years later She-Hulk beats seven kinds of shit out of him when the question arises of whether his powers influenced her into it.

At least Starfox is receptive and she’s not stalking Ben Grimm.

Anyway, Thor tries his hand at busting the null-field by shooting a bunch of lightning at it. Even though Captain Marvel tells him she already tried electricity.

Thor gotta Thor though.

And when the field stands firm against all the lightning, he gets pissed and hurls his hammer into it.

Mjolnir flies into the field, loses steam, and just pitches gently to Earth.

Bit confusing. I wonder why Cap’s shield can’t go through the dome but Mjolnir can.

BY THE WAY, THEY LEFT CAP’S SHIELD JAMMED AGAINST THE DOME.

They don’t comment on it but you can see it still gouging up the pavement. I guess they’re using it to mark where the dome is?

Amazing.

Anyway, Thor marvels at how Mjolnir left no mark on the invisible barrier and how its not returning to his hand like it should. Clearly there’s some weird property of the barrier interfering with Mjolnir.

Cap points out yeah thats interesting but isn’t there something that happens if you have Mjolnir out of hand for too long?

So Thor runs away and turns into Normal Doctor Donald Blake in an alleyway where nobody can see it happen.

Again: amazing.

Thor is basically out of the story because Normal Doctor Donald Blake can’t do anything to affect the barrier and he can’t get Mjolnir back while its up. So he’s just going to be twiddling his thumbs.

MEANWHILE, at Cross Technological Enterprises.

Hawkeye tries to cajole inventor Jorge to build some contraption for him but the man protests that he designed it in his spare time but if he builds a working model on staff, CTE will own the invention.

Unless someone approves a sub-contractor waiver that will let him keep the rights but who would do such a thing for him??

Hawkeye decides that as head of security he’ll do such a thing. I don’t know if head of security has any kind of sway like that but I imagine that won’t stop Hawkeye from insisting that he does.

Then Hawkeye hears about the Avengers dealing with the dome thing and gets sad that he can’t be out there with them.

Hawkeye: “Blast it, I oughta be out there with the rest of the Avengers! But, as long as my leg’s in a cast, I’m a liability to ‘em... until I prove otherwise!”

Maybe focus on letting your leg heal!

I don’t know what nonsense you’re brewing up and I know that months is forever in comic book time but maybe just take the time and let your leg heal up!

Back over at the Avengers, Cap and Wasp now justify to the others why Thor took off. Claiming that they sent him on a scouting mission. Captain Marvel objects that scouting is her specialty, what with the lightspeed dash, so Cap claims that brute force isn’t helping so its more important to have Captain Marvel’s versatility here.

Leading She-Hulk to snark that brute force not working doesn’t give her a lot to do.

Starfox has become instantly bored with the plot because he’s here for adventure dangit, so he wanders off to go flirt with an EMT.

Because Starfox.

A Quinjet arrives, because Wasp has put her true superpower to work.

The power of NETWORKING!

Aka, she placed a call to Vision and Scarlet Witch and they just showed up to help.

Wasp explains the situation and Vision decides he’s going to intangible through the field.

Vision: “Interesting. It does have an oddly unsettling ‘feel’ to it!”

Then he walks through and instantly collapses face first into the asphalt.

The Avengers’ bumbling attempts to deal with the null field are almost farcical really.

Scarlet Witch is alarmed by her robot husband faceplanting so tries to use her plot-resolving probability powers on the invisible barrier but to no avail.

OH NO HER DOES ANYTHING POWER DID NOTHING!

She bangs on the invisible wall yelling Vision’s name but Cap tells her “that won’t do any good!”

True but c’mon. Her robot husband just collapsed. Have some understanding.

Although I wonder what’s going on here.

The field goes over inanimate objects but doesn’t let Cap’s shield through. Mjolnir and Vision can go through it (although Vision does the intangible) but lose power shortly after entering.

Then again it is called a “null-field.” It probably does whatever it wants.

I’m just wondering whether Vision counts as an inanimate object or not. He’s very animate but he’s not strictly speaking biologically speaking alive.

Meanwhile, in the Baxter Building, Annihilus is laughing up a storm at the Avengers’ silly hijinxes. But mostly in the ‘they thought they could stop me’ sense.

Annihilus: “Lesser beings such as these are helpless before the genius of Annihilus! They do not deserve to live -- just as I do not deserve to die! I curse the fates which have robbed me of my rightful immortality! But even though life slowly ebbs from the dissipated body within my exo-skeletal armor, still shall I be Annihilus... still shall I be He-Who-Annihilates!”

And he pulls the Big Dramatic Lever.

Outside, Starfox is still flirting with the paramedic while she asks whether he should be helping the other Avengers?

Starfox: -squishes her face- “Alas, I am not a full Avenger. I am but a trainee, at the others’ beck and call! If they want me, they will call.”

And then he tries to make out but she’s distracted by the Baxter Building suddenly glowing with an awesome power.

And Starfox freaks out. He freaks out so much that he realizes that now is not the time for making out. That’s how alarming things suddenly are!

Paramedic: “Brighter than the moon... glowing like there’s no tomorrow...”

Starfox: “I fear your choice of words is most apt!”

And then he wanders back on over to the Avengers to tell them how messed up everything is.

Something occurs to me.

The Avengers don’t really have a Smart Guy TM currently. Tony left them in the lurch in that regard. And they tried to recruit Hulk again (apparently in Incredible Hulk #285).

Cap(tain America), Captain Marvel, Wasp, She-Hulk, and Thor are great. But they’re not people who can look at a thing and instantly jump to a correct conclusion about which technobabble will keep things from bad.

I think... Starfox may have become the Smart Guy TM of the team by default because he does have advanced space learning even though I’m pretty sure he napped through advanced space learning science class.

My god, the state of things.

Anyway, Starfox directs the Avengers’ attention over to the Baxter Building. Within the invisible field, there’s a second glowing field. And based on Starfox’s brains, the invisible field is a null-field (yes, that’s true) which cancels out all energy within, except at its focal point. Uh, sure. I think if all energy was cancelled out, we’d see way wilder effects but sure.

The glowing field is positive energy. And when the glow meets the invisible, it will cause the universe to merge with the Negative Zone AND THEN DESTROY THEM BOTH.

See, this is something that’s known on Titan. They just study ways to destroy everything apparently, nbd.

Starfox even mentions that his brother Thanos knows about this but “not even my brother Thanos was mad enough to test it!”

I dunno. I feel like Thanos is exactly mad enough to do that. I also feel like Starfox doesn’t know his brother was well as he thinks. So, yeah.

Hence, they’re all doomed. I mean, unless there was some way to penetrate the null-field BUT WAIT, Starfox says, didn’t Captain Marvel feel the field give slightly under gamma radiation? THEN THERE STILL MAY BE HOPE!

Yeah... Yeah. Starfox is the Avengers’ Smart Guy now. God.

Its like a reverse-Beast. He came to be a smart guy but the Avengers’ had plenty of those so decided to be the fun guy.

Starfox came out just to have a good time and he has to use his space brains to save reality.

(Also, its because of Same Face but Starfox even looks like Reed while he’s transitioning from doomsaying to figuring out the whole thing just by panicking and explaining things)

So after the Avengers do some calculations and preparations, Captain Marvel blasts off into space!

Cap(tain America) estimates that they only have twenty minutes and that a lot can go wrong.

Then a giant shouty bug man appears in the sky to shout.

Annihilus: “PEOPLE OF EARTH -- HEAR NOW THE WORDS OF ANNIHILUS! YOU ARE HELPLESS BEFORE ME! I AM YOUR DEATH!”

“The destruction of all that lives has ever been my goal -- but never have I had the means to kill so many! The time of universal death is at hand! I see among you those who are known as the Avengers... those who you would call heroes! Hah! They cannot save you! They are as helpless as the accursed Fantastic Four!”

“There is no hope for anyone this day! This is the day that Annihilus dies! And as I die, I shall reach out and I shall shake the very foundations of two universes! AND ALL SHALL PERISH WITH ME!”

Not gonna lie.

That’s a damn good villain speech.

You’ve got the villain head in front of an apocalyptic pink sky. You’ve got evil gloating. You’ve even got some dunks thrown at the superheroes because you just know that average civilians will be like ‘the Avengers will save us!’

Pretty good rant, Annihilus.

“Meanwhile, in the vacuum of space, the lightform of Captain Marvel has already flashed beyond the orbit of the moon”

Amazing.

Simply amazing.

Captain Marvel nyooms past the moon and traverses 93-million miles to go to the sun.

Which, even at lightspeed, takes over eight minutes.

A helpful reminder that even the ability to go as fast as light doesn’t necessarily mean you can get everywhere instantly. Cosmic distances are vast.

Captain Marvel nyooms around the sun, so close that even in the form of a light, she can feel the Sun’s gravity.

This is all some great stuff.

Then, Captain Marvel melds with a coherent light beam fired from solar satellite Starcore-One and transforms it and herself into a gamma ray laser beam NYOOMING right at Earth.

Blasting through the null-field just in time to interrupt more of Annihilus’ villain ranting.

Annihilus: “Prepare to make your final accounting, mortals! These are your last wretched moments of... eh?”

And then with a SKRAKATA SKRAKATA BOOM, the null field and positive energy fields are neutralized.

She-Hulk who was casually leaning on an invisible wall FLUMPS to the ground.

Wasp assembles the Avengers still milling about and tells them to move on the Baxter Building since Annihilus might still have tricks up his sleeve.

With the null field gone, the terrified crowds of onlookers are now just confused onlookers and want to get back to what they were doing before they started panicking.

Normal Doctor Donald Blake has to reach through the crowd of legs to grab Mjolnir so he can become Thor and rejoin the Avengers.

Y’know, before someone starts pondering why they haven’t seen him in a while.

Scarlet Witch notices sudden Thor and since everyone else ran off without paying any mind to Vision (geez, what the hell, the Avengers? He’s your good pal chum!) she begs Thor to help.

Scarlet Witch: “Thank heavens, you’ve returned! The Vision was injured somehow by that null-field! I... I can’t find any vital signs! His synthetic body is too different for the paramedics to do anything! Help us! Please -- !”

Thor slings Vision over shoulder exactly like you’d expect a buff Norse god to do and reassures Wanda that they’ll find someone to revive Vision.

At the Baxter Building, the Avengers very courteously go in through the front door because there’s just a lot of defensive systems that may or may not be active. And anyway, Wasp has a key to the special elevator.

Apparently, Wasp is such good friends with Sue Storm that she was given one of those special lasers incorporated into her new costume that opens the elevator doors.

I’ll have to check with my friend who liveblogs Fantastic Four to see if Jan shows up much. Because Sue has shown up a couple times in Avengers to build the idea that she and Wasp are good friends after their cool brunch but I haven’t heard of the reverse.

When the Avengers get to the 34th floor to confront Annihilus, they find that it’s been taken care of off in Fantastic Four.

The caption tells me for the full story to see that issue #256 and for once, I will.

(Interestingly, while Byrne got a co-plotter credit on this Avengers issue, Stern doesn’t get the same in the corresponding FF issue which really suggests who the driving force of the story was.)

Over in FF #256, the FF are stranded in the Negative Zone for reasons but have also noticed the null-field and positive field thing going on. Reed works to limit the effects of the fields merging to only the Baxter Building instead of the whole universe, which will also help the FF return home. He also hopes that someone on the Earth side of things “an Avenger perhaps” is also taking action.

Which, yeah. Captain Marvel’s whole thing where she launched herself at the Baxter Building from the Sun.

While she’s doing that, the thing that Reed is doing starts shorting out the circuity that Annihilus is using.

Then, Captain Marvel’s appearance causes the console Annihilus is working at to explode in his face, destroying his life-support armor.

Annihilus tries to activate the ‘destroy the universe’ thing manually but because of Reed’s machinations, the Fantastic Four get pulled back into the universe and Annihilus gets booted into the Negative Zone.

Its implied that Annihilus dies here but ha ha ha no he’s going to show up again without explaining how he survived. What a dick.

The Fantastic Four pop back into the Baxter building with the colors in their outfits changed because of technobabble. Reed instantly accosts Captain Marvel for being someone he doesn’t recognize but Thing tells him who she is and defuses things.

Thing runs off to take Alicia to the hospital, Sue runs off to look for Franklin, and Reed and Human Torch put out all the fires.

And that’s where the books sync up so back over to Avengers.

The Avengers meet up with the FF and compare notes and Reed starts trying to technobabble explain the change in uniforms when Wanda interrupts and asks someone to help Vision.

Reed examines Vision and comes up with some good news.

Vision is, more or less, okay. When he entered the null-field it drained his energy and disrupted his synapses but there shouldn’t be any permanent damage. The robot coma is Vision basically fixing himself up but Reed could speed up the process and help him recover faster.

And then Sue comes in with an unconscious Franklin.

Everyone drops everything to immediately rush off to the hospital, leaving Wanda and coma-Vision alone.

I mean. Kinda rude. Its entirely fair for Reed and Sue to run off. Its their son. And Johnny flies ahead to alert the emergency ward. But does the situation really need Starfox, Captain America and She-Hulk?

(The FF issue actually shows that Captain Marvel stuck around. She barely knows Wanda and Vision and she’s actually being courteous to them. Geez.)

I’ll give Thor a pass because he can turn into a Perfectly Normal Doctor. But really? Everyone is just leaving Wanda alone? Just like they left Vision just passed out in the street?

The Avengers are being dicks to Vision and Wanda today!

Follow @essential-avengers​ and like and reblog perhaps. Because I wouldn’t leave Vision lying passed out in the street and I haven’t even been his friend for years. Just saying.

[scottpilgrimirl]

A word about Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse (heavy spoilers)

Okay, so:

The first thing I did in 2019 was go see Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse and lemme tell you, it was Magnificent™. I could hardly believe that this film was made by the same motherfuckers who made the goddamn Emoji Movie.

I mean, how do you go from this:

To this:

This single image is one of the most powerful and beautiful images i've ever had the chance of seeing. Just the raw energy of Miles rising up to meet the city he's now sworn to protect is gorgeous to me, him rising to the occasion, to the challenge, to becoming Spider-Man.

And, let's not forget:

Dad of the Year™. Jefferson Davis is an amazing example of a realistic father figure. He doesn't coddle Miles, and holds him accountable for his actions, but still loves his son dearly, even coming by in Miles' weakest moment, giving him a well-needed talk fueled by compassion and a true worry and love for his only son, mere hours after the death of his brother, Uncle Aaron. Jefferson Davis' actions come from the heart, and it's his words that ignite the fire in Miles' soul and awaken his powers. Jefferson Davis is a good cop who believes in the system, and while he didn't see eye to eye with Spider-Man's vigilantism, he could respect it. And I respect that.

And you know who got the short end of the straw?

Uncle Aaron. Not only did he have the coolest villain alter ego, Prowler, he was a mentor to Miles and helped him to realize where his potential in art lied. But, alas, he's an uncle in a Spider-Man film, they don't last long. His death was a necessary evil. Without it, Miles probably would've never awakened and been able to save NYC and his friends. Uncle Aaron had a great sacrifice, and was a good building block character for Miles to learn and grow from. I applaud Sony and Marvel for that.

Also:

Sad Rad Hobo Dad Spider-Man, aka Peter 🅱eter Parker. This man was a big mood throughout the film and made me genuinely laugh with his dad-like nature and his amazing ability to not give a single fuck about anything except Miles. He was 100 percent willing to sacrifce himself to save everyone, had endless belief in Miles' abilities and that he would learn to use and control them, and gave Miles the single wisest piece of Spider-Man knowledge to date:

"It's a leap of faith."

Look me in the eyes and tell me that's not radical. Peter 🅱 is the true Spider-Man, and it shows.

And guess what:

Gwen Stacy? Radical. She's not just some throwaway love interest the writers threw in there for a girl character. For about the first half of the film, Gwen was cold with Miles, and unapologetically. I loved her for that. There was plenty of romance potential, but Sony chose against it, and goddamn does that make me happy. She's graceful, kickass, and downright beautiful. Gwen's entire design and art stlye is watercolor neon, a minor bit of running color with a slight flare. Hell yes. She is the confident, professional balance to Miles' inexperience, and it really does show. Gwen believes in Miles' almost as much as Peter 🅱, but she has her doubts and that's okay. She's afraid to let people in because of what happened to her Peter, and her calling Miles her friend was some rad character development. I approve.

And let's not forget:

The wholesome Spider trio with the super duper unique art styles squad™

Noir, Peni and Ham didn't get much screentime, but boy howdy did they make their mark with the one they had. Peni showed off with her anime style, tech skills, cuteness, and her strongest moments of beating the shit outta Scorpion for fucking up her robot friend, SP//DR. Raw anime strength right there and a sweet little angel.

Then there's Noir, voiced by Nicolas "I'm gonna steal the Declaration of Independence" Cage. A great performance, and the Rubik's Cube joke had me cackling. Also, Cage speaking as though he was from the 40s and proceeding to kick Miles' ass was a very Nic Cage thing to do. Noir made me uwu, and that's pretty good.

And last but not least, Spider-Ham. What can I say other than he's voiced by John Mulaney and is the one to defeat Scorpion using nothing more than cartoon "magic satchel" bullshit with no remorse. A true Icon™.

And how could I forget:

Miles Morales, protagonist of the century. Starts the film a normal kid and ends it as motherfucking Spider-Man. How rad is that? Miles is just an overall pure kid who deserves the world. He became Spider-Man as a promise to his universe's Spider-Man, and boy did he. He's smart, quick-witted, funny, and wants to make everyone proud. He took Kingpin's blows and got right the fuck back up. Miles broke fucking glass with his "leap of faith". Two days. It took him two whole days to become Spider-Man and my god, does he wear it well. He lost Spider-Man, his uncle, his hope, his faith, his power on his journey and he came right the fuck in swinging. Miles Morales is strong and powerful and i love him dearly.

I personally rate Into the Spiderverse ten outta ten. There will probably never been another film like it and I would love to see Sony continue making good animated films. Anyway, that was just my two cents, so pay it no mind. Good night everyone.

[gothamdetected-a]

multiverse.

i know what you’re thinking. sim are you absolutely fucking insane, don’t even TRY to tackle this one. you’re right i am insane. and yes i am still going to try and tackle a meta about DC multiverses HOWEVER, to give myself on shred of sanity on this treacherous journey, i will say that this is mainly going to be about the multiverse from a bruce perspective. this ride is a batman focused train i’m afraid. also i want to state that this is by no means a perfect explanation – i’m a) trying to keep it simple and b) still am lost on parts of the timeline myself so. its what i can offer.

ok so, originally NCP, or the national comics publication (who will one day become DC), wrote their golden age heroes on an earth now designated as earth-2. in the 30s, just before the war, comic books absolutely exploded as a media format, and a bunch of companies all jumped the gun on creating superheroes. many of DCs most endearing and recognisable heroes were created all the way back then, however many of them also are not quite who you will recognise as the character today. hal jordan wasn’t green lantern, but was instead a man called alan scott, jay garrick was the flash instead of barry allen etc etc. don’t worry though! batman is still batman, and has been bruce wayne since 1939. earth-2 batman, as he will come to be known, is a bright kind of guy found on technicolour pages with a cute lil robin by his side – there is a reason for this. the war. literally NCP said we cant be sending out dark and gritty comics to people dying in trenches so time to make it colourful and faintly ridiculous, and bruce wayne is a surprisingly optimistic guy for a man who watched his parents be slaughtered in front of him.

of course, by the 60s, NCP (who are also sort of known as NPP and really known by your average joe as superman-dc, based on their most successful comic runs) had realised their timelines were getting a bit squiggly for their golden age heroes, and most of them had been replaced out by their silver age counterparts anyway. so between 1961 and 1963, NCP start creating another “earth”, officially designated earth-1, which would become their main planet for all kinds of superhero shenanigans. the justice society of america becomes the justice league of america, and when you think of batman, you’re probably thinking of earth-1 batman. at least pre crisis. and, once they get taste for building whole new earths, we also get earth-3 (1964), or “opposite world”, where the good guys are bad guys, and batman is owlman and instead of the jla we have the crime syndicate of america.  

so sim, what other earths did dc come up with? well, i literally refuse to list them all because it was a multiverse and they did not slow down, but the ones that are most important to me are earth-5 where the only hero to live on this planet is bruce wayne/batman, and earth-89 where lois marries bruce instead of clark ahAHAHHAA. but i can tell you that pre-crisis there are 91 designated earths, and basically it could have gone on forever. there was an earth-c minus, earth-124.1, an earth where everyone was reptiles, honestly it was a MESS. and therein lies the problem.

now i’ve just used the term “pre-crisis”. what’s that, sim? maybe you’re not very familiar with comics, or with the recent dctv version of said comics, and so i will endeavour to explain one of the most brain numbing storylines that spans DC. also known as a retcon. see all these earths with their own histories and heroes and well everything really was becoming very inconvenient and meant a lot of world jumping and who can interact with who and everything was getting like spaghetti because they couldn’t calm down on the earth-building. so DC (who are officially DC at this point, 1977 babeyy), specifically a guy called marv wolfman (coolest name ever) who was sick of so many earths, comes up with the bright idea that will later form into a comic run called crisis on infinite earths (1985-1986). it was a serious crossover event, really considered by many to be the first of its kind. it sold extremely well, boosting dc’s flagging sales against it’s biggest rival, marvel. and as for the plot, it’s a bit convoluted but essentially some bloke turns up and starts to destroy all these worlds, and it becomes a race between the heroes and villains as to who can save/conquer the remaining earths that are left. although there are crises before and after this specific run, pre-crisis basically always refers to this particular crisis event, as it really shaped DC for the next 30 years.

for a while the retcon does an okay job of keeping the number of earths low. there’s still some earths that are considered non-continuous floating around, but mainly there’s just earth-1, which is now a merger of the most important “earths” that existed pre-crisis, and a way for all of DCs heroes to now be in one place and interact with each other. other earths at this point include;

earth-23 (1986) – a small pocket dimension

earth-17 (1990) – we don’t talk about this. honestly spare yourself and. don’t look. its horrific.

earth-27 (1990) – a historically divergent planet with a hero actually called vegetable man.

earth-85 (1987) – a hodgepodge of post-crisis characters live here, chillin

earth-988 (1990) – superboy is the only hero in this universe

the antimatter universe – all of pre-crisis’ earth-3 villains, including owlman, get shoved here for later use when dc need a couple of villains to come back.

and for a while all is well. then comes DC elseworlds (1989). which. you know. i love. it gave me victorian batman. pirate batman. caveman batman. vampire batman. frankenstein batman. terrorist batman fighting against russian!superman. they even gave me marvel crossovers, with captain america meeting batman. it was a glorious time. technically elseworlds is not considered canon, ran outside of canon as a way for writers to explore those wacky kind of worlds lost to the crisis, which is dumb because some of the plot lines are both hilarious and incredible. but the numbers started to get ridiculous again. most elseworlds are named after the year that the plot takes place in, so we get earth-1889, earth-1938 etc, but even more of them just seem to have random designations. i think by the time they reached earth-5050 they sort of knew that theyd fucked up again. we’ve had zero hour, we’ve got hypertime and kingdom come, and besides, its been a while since they had a good crossover, so by the time 2005 rolls around its time for crisis pt 2 (because dc love to use the word crisis for crossovers) or as it’s officially known infinite crisis. infinite crisis has an even more confusing plot involving a bunch of slightly nuts versions of characters escaping a pocket dimension, earths being created and then merged, and a rogue ai which batman made and then has to destroy because his own creation becomes too powerful etc etc. the only good thing to come out of it was earth-0, or bizarro world, because bizarro & batzarro are my babies. don’t worry though, this new set of earths won’t last long either, as in 2008 DC conclude their trilogy of crises with final crisis that featured one of the most important events in batman’s history – darkseid “killing” him. yes the quotations are important. i’ll leave you to infer what they mean.

so 3 crises later and everything is still just as messy as they’ve ever been and there’s 60 years worth of comic history being tangled about, and marvel had already established a very successful reboot in 2000, and anything marvel do, we can do better, so DC do their first, full and proper reboot. unlike retcons before it, which is where they retroactively try to fix what people already know and simplify timelines & earths, this is like someone shaking the etch-a-sketch and starting fresh. back in infinite crisis an arbitrary number was assigned to how many “earths” there could be – 52. and so in 2011, DC go hey that’s neat and create what becomes known as the new- or nu-52. heroes are given shiny new backstories, everything is streamlined and wonderful, sales rise, DC has a clean slate to build off again.

ha.

yeah that doesn’t happen.

this reboot, also known as flashpoint, due to it being spawned from another big ol’ crossover of the same name, shows barry allen trapped in an alternate universe where everything is not quite right – his mother is alive, superman is nowhere to be found and he doesn’t have his powers. worst of all thomas wayne is batman. yeah, batman’s dad is batman. thanks DC, i hate it. reverse-flash has tried to change history and stop the jla from ever being formed – le gasp. barry goes to fix it, merges three universes together – earth-0, which isn’t a bizarro world but now the “main" earth, also called new earth or prime earth (DC), earth-13 (vertigo) and earth-50 (wildstorm), but also causes 10 years to be “lost” to these characters. there are now 52 brand spanking new earths, each sitting in their own universe as part of the multiverse. no one remembers anything except barry. even for a reboot and convergence of DC’s franchises, it’s messy as fuck. and it goes to shit very very quickly. people don’t really like n-52. DC have cancelled everything, certain characters such as cassandra cain-wayne are fucking ERASED from existence, no one likes the new costume designs, its an absolute shit show and the plots get very confusing very quickly.

so what do DC do?

they reboot again. sigh.

only 5 years after the mess of nu-52, they produce DC rebirth, a new relaunch of all their famous runs. brainiac does some magic and collects a bunch of worlds together and magically we’re all going to forget the last 5 years of comic hell. it is a reboot to retcon flashpoint as though that never happened. yes, DC are actually retconning their own reboots. talk about sweeping it under the carpet. technically “rebirth” only ran for a year as a promotional thing for the reboot, before joining with the larger, now-singular DC universe, however everyone still calls it rebirth because if we don’t give these things names it will get even more fucking confusing than it already is. rebirth also still has 52 universes making up the DC multiverse, just to make things even more simple and easy to understand (DC what is it with 52. why 52.) although lots of the earths in this multiverse have been re-designated – eg. pre-crisis earth-31 was home to an aged batman who fakes his death to go train a bunch of new vigilantes (the dark knight returns), and now 31 is an apocalyptic wasteland or some shite. a lot of these earths were re-designated during the flashpoint/nu-52 era, and even though rebirth was supposed to erase that, DC have decided never mind we’ll keep it. there’s also 7 mysteriously undesignated earths – ooh spooky, they definitely won’t feature in the next major crossover. also for a multiverse with 52 universes, they sure do have more than 52 : there’s the microverse, a bunch of universes collectively called “the sphere of the gods” where apokalips and like, literal heaven & hell exist, an innerverse???, dreamworld, limbo, DC are taking the piss they only said there were 52 earths but that means they can make as many other shitty dimensions and pocket-universes as they please apparently. don’t even get me started on the source wall. for the most part the writers just. don’t acknowledge this and stick to the main prime earth. for the most part. thanks for throwing thomas wayne as batman back into the mix, rebirth.

so that’s the last of it, right sim? eh, almost. it should have been the last of it, really. and then geoff johns couldn't keep his mouth shut and produced possibly the worst comic in recent history, if not ever, doomsday clock. now doomsday clock is a nightmare for an impossibly long list of reasons that i won’t get into here because this isn’t a rant about why i think doomsday clock is the worst thing to ever happen to dc (although that’s a catchy title i should use that some day) - no, the reason i bring up doomsday clock is because. oh my god even saying this makes me sad. doomsday clock proves that the pre-crisis universes still exist and are still out there. somewhere. canonically. sim why is that sad i thought you liked everything pre-52. it’s sad because it means at any point now, DC could bring them back, ruin their own legacy, make everything even more confusing than it already is. i love pre-52 stuff but you gotta leave it alone. currently doomsday clock has only established that these universes exist as a way to honour every era of superman, because DC didn’t want to completly erase some of the incredible work and storylines put into him as a character. fine, fair enough. but it does leave the possibility that they will try and return to them too. comic book writers love doing funky story lines like that. they think they need to write something that’s never been done before and instead of coming up with something actually unique, they just poke around in the multiverse WHICH IS HOW WE ENDED UP WITH THIS AS A PROBLEM IN THE FIRST PLACE.

ahem.

hopefully this helped clarify some stuff for people, especially those folks who aren’t big comic fans/expereience dc through the DCEU or DCTV, when encountering rpers who say they base their characterisation off of, for example pre-n52/flashpoint comics, like myself.

oh, and thank you for coming to my ted sim talk.

[andersoncharm]

Skype “Date” with Sam//March 27, 2020

Para: Skype “Date” with Sam.

Rating: PG.

Pairing: Blam BFFs. Mentions of Seblaine.

When: Friday Afternoon- March 27, 2020

Location: LeFay University(Boston)/Tokyo, Japan (Shibuya to be exact.)

Notes: A short self para where Sam teases Blaine over Skype and gets him thinking about things.

Warnings: Talks of futures and weddings and children.

“Sooo. When’s the wedding?”

Blaine jerked his head up from his text from Sebastian and focused his confused gaze on his best friend, Sam Evans. Sam was smiling, a goofy, big and toothy thing made sillier by the fact that Sam looked like Marvel’s Thor had wandered into a country western store. His blond hair pulled back into a low ponytail to display the weird mustache his oldest and best had decided suited him for his stay in Japan.  Before Blaine could ask him what he was on about, Sam spoke up. “I mean you can hardly take your eyes off your phone. Dude, you should see your gross mushy, lovey dovey face. Like, get married already.”  Blaine ducked his head sheepishly, shooting Sebastian an I'll see you in a few text, making sure to tell him he loved him before shoving his phone into his pocket so he wouldn’t be distracted.

“Sorry, Sam.” He mumbled and even though Sam was smiling and  his tone was good natured and teasing, Blaine still felt bad. He and Sam never got to see each other face to face. It’d been going on three years since they were last in the same country and Skyping was a rarity. The whole reason for the call was to figure out the details for Sam’s trip back to America (Sam still didn’t know the month, let alone what day he’d be here) and all they’d managed to do was tease each other. “But, to be fair, I totally saw the mushy, lovey dovey eyes you gave Yume when she walked in not five minutes ago so I guess I’ll be waiting for my invitation to your wedding.” he rolled his eyes, trying not to smile as he adjusted his screen. 

Sam, to his credit just shrugged. “We’d be the hottest husband and wife around. She’s the coolest person I know, next to me and then maybe you anyway. She’s like my other best friend, so it wouldn’t even be much of a change. Anyway, how are you, how’s the boyfriend besides sending you texts when it’s my turn to talk to you, Blainers.” Sam paused pursed his lips and rolled his eyes for dramatics at that statement. Blaine laughed and shook his head at the terrible nickname.

“I’m good, Sam. We’re both good. And it’s my fault. I messaged him first. Plus, you called me about an hour earlier than you said you were going to, remember?” The banter went on for another hour. They talked about Blaine’s dad and if it was weird to be taught by his parent. They talked about Sam’s anime drawings and his cool girlfriend and how they were getting on living together in the smallest apartment known to man. What it was like to live in Shibuya and if Sam missed living in America. All things they could talk about in text but, it was the next best thing to having Sam with him and it made Blaine feel good. And it was much needed. Sam was a reminder that they’d both gone through a lot (Blaine with his mom and Sam with his family's financial struggles)  and both of them had come out good people at the end of the day. The conversation was finally directed to the visit when Sam’s brain somehow took him a completely different direction. As it always did. It was like he was on a loop and had looped back around.

“But, like, you do want to marry him, right? He’s like your world. And, I mean the next step is to live together, duh, but then you could ask him to marry you and that would be super cool. And then you could adopt a kid, or whatever two dudes do, I dunno,  and you could name the kid after your best friend Sam. I’d even be cool with his middle name being David after your other, less best friend, David. And then you raise that kid and one day that kid has a kid and you two become grandparents and then you’re old together and happy and bam! That’s life, right? It’s, what do you say all the time? Romantic. And if I know you, and I totally do, so, I know you love romance. What’s stopping you two?”

“Wow. This is not what I thought we’d be talking about tonight.” Blaine smiled, shaking his head, his laugh light in his throat as he listened to Sam talk about what he thought the cycle of life should be for him. He tried not to visibly cringe at the name Sam David. But, he had to admit the rest of what Sam was saying sounded nice and admitting that to himself hurt a little. He hesitated, not sure how to approach this. Blaine’s life with Sebastian was all about the now. Sure they planned ahead like normal people but, who knew what would happen in a month, two months or two years from now. His intuition told him him and Sebastian were safe from the Council and Order for the time being but, for how long? Not long enough for Blaine to let himself really want either of these things too much anyway. Sometimes planning for the far future just hurt so he usually tried to avoid it.

“It’s just that when Seb and I first met he told me he couldn’t see himself getting married or having children. And I don’t know, I’m not even sure that’s what I really want. I mean, maybe, but, I’m just happy being with him now, you know?” He bit his lip, in thought, before giving his friend a smile. “Besides, I don’t have to marry him to love him like I do.”

And it was all true. Seb did tell him when they were first dating that he wasn’t into either thing. But, Blaine had been with him going on two years now and he could sense a change. Maybe Sebastian wasn’t ready to admit any of that to even himself. But, if Blaine asked him to marry him in a year, something in his heart told him that Seb would say yes. That it would please him. He wasn’t sure about the whole children thing. It was something Blaine didn’t even know that he might want until he met Sebastian and they had gotten the chance to grow together. But now he could almost picture their life ten years down the road and sometimes it involved little feet and big, candy sticky grins. But, the vision always went hazy and Blaine would always lose the fantasy before he could take it too far. He meant what he said to Sam though. He didn’t need to marry or have children to love Sebastian. He’d be happy and content to get to just be with him and love the rest of his life.

Sam’s confused and unsure face at his explanation upset him a little. Sam wasn’t stupid. He knew when Blaine wasn’t being entirely honest. This would be so much easier if Blaine could really talk to Sam. Really tell him why he didn’t know if he and Sebastian could have those things. As long as they’d been friends, he’d struggled with this, now, it was worse than ever. A part of him thought Sam might actually know, his best friend was smart like that. He thought differently than most people, his busy, labyrinth brain would slowly work things out and it wouldn’t surprise Blaine a bit if he kinda knew. Sam said weird things sometimes. Comparing him to this comic book character or that. And he used to catch Sam studying him like he was waiting for him to do something magical. But, Blaine couldn’t tell him and Sam wasn’t offering up any information if he did suspect anything so he kept on their friendship like he always did.

“Oh, by the way.” Blaine perked up, attempting to use Sam and David’s friendly rival to appease his friend. “It’s very big of you to share the name of an imaginary Smythe-Anderson baby with David. I know how big the unnecessary competition with you and him is.” He laughed as Sam launched into a whole tirade on why he was the better friend. (He’d been around longer and through more with Blaine. Duh.) 

An hour later they had to hang up the Skype session for the time being and Sam still hadn’t decided when he’d be coming back to America. The only take away from the whole conversation was that Sam would make the best Best Man and David would have to be the Ring Bearer in this imaginary wedding that Sam had concocted out of thin air. Sebastian wasn’t close to admitting that he might want to get married one day, and neither was Blaine but he couldn’t help but smile to himself, wondering if Blaine Devon Smythe-Anderson was too much of a mouthful while ignoring the pointed look Freya was giving him as he got ready for a  night with his boyfriend and the hot topic of his whole Skype session. He tried to ignore the little nagging feeling that he shouldn’t even entertain the thought because it would only lead to pain. It pulsed through him almost as if mocking him, telling him the High Witch Council wouldn’t let them go that far. But, he pushed it down because he was happy and in love and had gotten to talk to and see his best friend for hours and they couldn't take away how he felt. At least not tonight.

 /fin

[supermoviemaniac]

DEFENDING...

THOR: RAGNAROK!

Okay, so yesterday I asked you guys which is your least favourite MCU movie and why. I said I'd take the most commonly disliked film and try and defend it, using my personal reasonings as well as attempting to counter what issues you had with it yourselves.

Firstly, I'm quite surprised that Ragnarok was the most hated! I was expecting Age of Ultron or Iron-Man 3 (though they weren't too far behind). To make it clear, it's okay to dislike this movie, my attempt at defending the movie is just a bit of fun, but if it lets you see and appreciate the movie in a different light then that's cool! If it doesn't then that's cool too! Here goes...

I'll start with why I personally love Ragnarok, and how it was actually my favourite MCU movie, until Infinity War inevitably took that spot.

Thor was the first character in the franchise to introduce outerspace, and the cosmic side of the cinematic universe. With Iron-Man, Hulk and Cap being restricted to Earth, Thor was key to broadening what types of stories they could tell, what sort of threats and stakes could arise etc. The first Thor movie was certainly a bold move at the time, hoping that audiences would embrace the fantastical themes that he and Asgard brought to the table. Bar Thanos, Thor and Loki are the reason sh*t's going down in the first Avengers movie, so you have them to thank for that.

Flash forward to Dark World however, at this point we've seen Asgard already, so the novelty has worn off slightly. As much as the movie expands our view of Thor's home, we still feel very restricted, as though we're only seeing through a keyhole, when we actually wanna bust the door down and see what an outerspace adventure could really offer, hence why people gravitate towards Guardians of the Galaxy so heavily, because it let loose and didn't feel like it was shying away from the sci-fi elements that made the property what it was.

So with Dark World leaving a bad taste in our mouths (even though I think it's underratedly funny, but perhaps another time), and Thor not quite standing out in Age of Ultron, we're left thinking, do we really even want another Thor movie at this point? Something had to change. The studios' take on Thor was good in ways, but wasn't gripping people as much as say Iron-Man and Cap. If Captain America could have an amazing sequel, why couldn't Thor? With the damage already done via Dark World however, Ragnarok had to be Marvel's shot at redemption and reinvigoration, and I personally think it was.

There's no arguing Ragnarok was a bold step to take Thor, though not everyone agrees it was for the better. Could the Thor we were used to still work given the correct writing and direction? Who knows, but with already 'failing' once with Dark World, it was surely less of a risk to go for something completely unexpected. We go from majestic golds and elegant architecture, to crazy, vibrant, jagged imperfections that you'd expect to see in a retro sci-fi movie. The Thor we knew and expected has lightened up a little, during his few years between Age of Ultron and now, scouring the universe for information on the Infinity Stones. No pun intended, but perhaps his absent couple of years provided some much needed soul searching. So to those that wonder why Thor is suddenly so funny and witty, he's been out and about off-screen for quite a while loosening up! That's how I like to see it at least.

In the first 10 minutes, we're given more cosmic calamity than any of the other Thor movie has provided in their joint runtimes. He's in the fiery realm of Muspelheim, kicking the crap out of hellish minions and their giant demonic flame lord, Surtur, whilst the Immigrant Song plays. Then moments later, there's a damn dragon beast that's on fire that chases him, as the coolest little synth melody twinkles in the background. That cool little action scene not only gave Mjölnir the ultimate send off, but I remember thinking just from that point, "This is what Thor movies are meant to be like! This is already my favourite MCU movie!"

I think the comedy is people's biggest issue with the film. Admittedly, the style of humour was a little jarring at first, but I soon let go of doubts and embraced what the movie was trying to do. Notice how I said 'style' of humour, and not just 'humour' as a whole, because a lot of people forget just how comedic the first two Thor movies actually are. I feel like humour allows a sort of alleviation to what could potentially be something rather odd on screen. That way, if the movie embraces it's outlandish source materials, the comedy allows us to laugh with it, rather than at it. I think people are okay with the inclusion of comedic elements - I think they just weren't expecting the amplification that it had. So as I said, you can either let that ruin the film, or you can embrace/accept it, because there is just as much heart in this film as there is humour.

I know there's people that think Hela was wasted. Having watched these movies countless times, I rarely see any issues with villains anymore. The fabled 'villain problem' springs to mind, where everyone says that they were just there as a device to make the hero save the day. But what's actually wrong with that technically speaking? And how is that any different to other movies outside of the superhero realm? I see most of these villains as stepping stones for the heroes. These movies belong to the heroes, so the way I see it, the villains are there to develop and shape the good guy into whatever the finished product may be by the time the credits roll, just like all the other characters do in the movie. To prove this point, everyone loves Thanos as a villain, but that's because Infinity War was his movie, given the amount of time spent with him. I think the only exception is Loki, but his character is so well-received because he sits within the grey area of good and bad. We've seen both sides of him now.

Yes, I understand that villains are a little lack luster in most of these movies, but I liked what Hela brought to the franchise. We get the shock of discovering Thor has an older sister, she manages to take over Asgard, she demolishes everything in sight, she was the reason Thor is reinvigorated via his new right eye and weapon, she forced Thor's hand, making him enact Ragnarok (even though there's no stopping Ragnarok but it was a cool twist) and destroy Asgard, she was the first main female villain at long last, and she had a giant wolf. Some films spend more time with the villain, and some sacrifice it to focus more on the hero. There's never a straight 50:50 between good and evil in their storytelling, and I imagine it's always a hard call to make when balancing and ensuring that not only do the audience care for the hero, but also everything and everyone around them. Regardless the solo hero is always the focal point. Unless you're watching Breaking Bad or American Psycho or... *Lists shows and movies told from the bad guy's perspective*

I think the underlining disapproval stems from the fresh direction that it took. His hammer goes bye-byes, his warrior friends die just like that, Thor no longer looks or acts like the Thor we're used to, and Jane moved on. People will either be okay with those things, or it'll be too much to accept. Was the film too bold? Perhaps, but Thor can conduct lightning through his body now and that fight scene on the Bifrost bridge was badass.

Jokes aside, I suppose it's up to the individual audience member to decide whether or not the change is too much. A part of me wishes that the Thor we currently have was the Thor from the get go - things would've been different, but I love the character no matter what weapon or haircut you give him. Ragnarok gave the God of Thunder the opportunity to prove why he's a badass and not just a guy that relies on a hammer. They turned the dial up on his power level, and then again in Infinity War, which is good because I feel like prior to Ragnarok, Thor was kinda just there, y'know?

Everyone has their own favourite and least favourite movie, and no one should force you to alter your personal interests and disinterests, but if I were to wrap up what I thought of the film, Thor: Ragnarok to me is a fun, crazy joyride from start to finish, that provided a lot of heart as well as light-heartedness. It introduced some new, diverse characters whilst also giving the Hulk a much-needed story arc. A bold game-changer for the character and the lore he contributes to the MCU. It's the type of change I can appreciate and most definitely get behind!

What do you guys think? Have I swayed your opinions, or do you hate the movie more now! Let me know. Thanks for reading! Shall I do more of these? Let me know that too. I'm off to buy snacks and watch Ragnarok now, no joke!

[rantingnbanting]

It’s finally time

Spider-Man: Far From Home Movie Review

Hee hee i had a shit ton of this done already and then my dumbass accidentally closed the tab so yeah :’)

For some reason, this took me so long to want to write. I saw the movie this afternoon, and it’s almost midnight as I’m writing this. Granted, I am on vacation and was a little busy, but I just needed time to process this movie. The movie seemed really dense to me, and I just had to scroll through tumblr looking at other posts to finally get the nerve to write this.

So, the moment you’ve all been waiting for...

***SPOILER WARNING. MAJOR PLOT POINTS AND THE ENDING OF THIS WILL BE DISCUSSED SO IF YOU DO NOT WANT SPOILERS DO NOT CONTINUE***

Just as an FYI, I saw this with my sister, a fan of the MCU, and my dad, a diehard DC fan but just saw this for shits and giggles. And I will be referencing endgame a lot during this too.

- Did I like it?

Yeah!!!! I loved the humor in it, and the plot was well written. Mysterio is an awesome character in this, though he is a villain.

- What didn’t I like?

(I’ll go into more detail later) The cgi in this, the lack of some of the topics introduced in endgame, the casts’ age, and some of the Peter X MJ scenes (I said some! I do love Peter and MJ together!)

- Pacing?

Honestly? Pretty good for a marvel movie. Marvel usually has some issues with pacing *cough cough endgame cough cough*, but I was thoroughly impressed with this one. Everything seemed well drawn out, and I was never left feeling that a certain scene was too long/short. Kudos because that I am very picky with pacing lol

- Humor

This movie is probably one the funniest movies in the MCU, and it was one of the most memorable aspects of the movie. The morning announcements made my sister and myself wheeze and I had tears rolling down my face as I cackled. Ned and Betty were the truest presentation of Highschool romance I have ever seen. Starting on a whim, being attached to the hip for a few weeks (maybe even a few months), and then breaking up. I honestly loved them together. I’m happy they didn’t go down the “sad and neglected best friend” route with Ned because he deserves so much better. “I’m strong and sticky” made my stomach hurt because I was laughing so hard. PETER BITCH-SLAPPING FLASH WHEN HE WOULDNT GIVE BACK THE GLASSES. AHDHDBDJDHDJ

- plot?

I thought the plot was really clever. Like I said earlier, anyone could see mysterio’s real side from a mile away, but the way they went about the conflict and the climax of the story was very interesting as well. The only thing is that when they were first explaining the secret plan and thinking everyone, I got a little lost. I did finally realize how the bots produce an illusion, but I kind of had to figure that on my own. I was confused how things were being broken and destroyed by the creatures, but the team said that nothing was actually getting broken because it’s all just an illusion. Idk there were some plot holes, but they got mostly filled, so I’m not worried about it lmao.

- Favorite character?

While I do love Ned with every fiber of my being, he just didn’t have the same spark that he did in homecoming. Maybe that’ll change as I see the movie again, but my favorite character in this movie was definitely Mysterio. Jake Gyllenhaal is a phenomenal actor, and I don’t think anyone could have pulled off Mysterio like he did. As I assume most of the internet knows, Mysterio is an actual villain in the Spider-Man comics, and he has powers that create illusions, and I thought that this was a really cool way to portray Mysterio with making him a person. Even without knowing that Mysterio is a villain in the comics, it wasn’t that difficult to predict that he would reveal that he’s a villain. Thinking back, there was a part during the the fight with the fire monster in Prague when something broke off of the Ferris wheel, and I thought to myself “damn, it was almost like the Ferris wasn’t really there” And the illusion scene was by far the coolest scene in the entire movie. It gave me strong Doctor Strange vibes (I wonder why I like I so much lmao) and it showed how vulnerable Peter is. But Mysterio has the aura that just made you love to hate him, and I love characters like that.

- Soundtrack?

It was awesome. Mysterio’s theme is definitely the best. I actually listened to the soundtrack before I saw the movie, and it was cool to hear some of the familiar tunes. It would fucking awesome to hear an ensemble perform the Far From home suite live.

- Peter and MJ

Okay, I understand what they were trying to do with their relationship: display a typical, awkward high school relationship. Ngl, they kind of overdid the awkwardness. Not every relationship is both people constantly stuttering and muttering when they’re next to each other. And that fuckin kiss. It made me so uncomfortable. Me and my sister literally looked at each other and said, “That was the most awkward thing I have ever seen in my entire life” after the kiss. I like that the writers were trying to break from the stereotypical high school relationship, but I do think they overdid the awkwardness a bit.

- WHERE THE HELL WAS MORGAN STARK

HOW DARE YOU RIP A FATHER FROM A BOY AND GIRL AND NOT HAVE THEM INTERACT AT ALL. This is probably one of my biggest critiques because this movie makes it look like they introduced Morgan just to take her away. Same with Harley! Imagine how awesome peter and Harley could be together.

- CGI

Okay, I blame my dad for this. He was the one who introduced me to CGI (Computer-generated imagery) and how to spot it. In marvel movies, CGI is not uncommon, especially in the fight scenes. And I honestly did not give endgame enough credit when it came to CGI hulk. He looked absolutely phenomenal, but I have to say that a good amount of the CGI in this movie was rough. I always say, if you can tell it’s CGI, then it’s bad CGI. It’s really hard to explain, but if something looks like it belongs in a video game rather than in a live action movie, then the CGI is pretty rough. It takes experience to learn how to point it out. Mysterio didn’t look bad the entire time, but some shots of him floating (like the rooftop scene) just looked so fake. And the swinging scene at the end was absolutely horrendous. It looked like MJ was swinging with the peter from the ps4 videogame. The background imagery and the elemental monsters looked real for the most part, and they looked great and real. Just some character mods were really wonky.

- Cast

Okay, I’m going to just say it. What the fuck was that cast? To me, everyone looked so much older than the first one. Like I get it that some of them were “blipped” and aged, but holy shit Ned and peter looked so much older than in the first movie. And, holy shit, Peter is ripped in this movie. I know Tom mentioned in an interview that he was more buff in this movie compared to homecoming, but he was so much more, for lack of better phrasing, wide.

I mean, come on

If the next movie is set in high school again, I honestly have no idea what they will do because, right now, Tom is 23 and Zendaya is 22. And yes I get it that it’s not that old, but if the next one is going to wait 2 years at least for the next Spider-Man movie, they’ll be less like high school students and more like adults.

And while I would have been extremely pissed if they changed the cast, I’m just kind of peeved on how mature the cast looked.

- Ending?

The first ending was what everyone wanted. I could have left the theater then and would have been perfectly fine. But I had to watch the end credits scenes. And then my world crumpled. Hearing Mysterio reveal Peter was so surreal. Almost too surreal... but that’s for another post ;). It provides for a great cliffhanger, but it makes me wonder how they’re going to continue the MCU from here. Obviously, they’re going to do the Black Widow Movie and Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 3 (hopefully) but what next? Is there going to be another “avengers” movie? If so, what about Peter? Bc he’s in quite the pickle rn. And the pair credits scene just confused me ngl. So, Fury and Hill were never actually there? It does make sense why fury didn’t catch onto some things, but it does allow for some interesting conversations. This plus BARF equals who knows what for the future because this stuff is practically the reality stone. No one knows what’s real or not. And that’s scary. Also, does the multiverse exist? I know Beck and his crew made some stuff up for the purpose of tricking Fury and Peter, but the avengers still used the quantum realm to time travel, and who knows what types of alternate universes that created.

What does the future hold? No one knows

But it does allow for interesting theories ;)

Side note: I really noticed the resemblance in these in ffh

Hey marvel please introduce Deadpool played by Ryan Reynolds into the MCU thansk ily

[writingwithadinosaur]

“Rescue Mission” - Part 1

“Rescue Mission” - Part 1

My Main Masterlist - Here

My Marvel Masterlist - Here

My Tag List - Here

Frank Castle x Reader

Matthew Murdock x Sister!Reader

Word Count: 2,886

Key: Y/N = Your Name, H/C = Your Hair Color, E/C = Your Eye Color

Warnings: Violence, Language, I think that’s it. Let me know if I missed anything.

Summary: You’re one of the vigilantes that run through New York trying to make it a better place. You’re also dating the “dead” Frank Castle. Everything is manageable until you run into Daredevil and find out that he’s your brother, Matthew. Then shit hits the fan more than usual in Hell’s Kitchen.

Author’s Note: So I have this idea where I want to just have a sort of universe where the Hell's Kitchen boys and a vigilante reader are all together. For instance, my previous Frank piece “Care” would be a part of this universe. Not exactly sure about the timeline yet, but when I do, I will make a post about it.

For now, this is is going to be a series because my idea will take at least 3 parts probably. So once I get all my ducks in a line, I will update you guys with the order of this universe.

Huge shoutout to @witchymarvelspacecase for always being there for me when I have random ideas or whenever I need someone to read my work! She’s truly one of the coolest people I’ve had the pleasure of talking to! 

If you would like to be tagged in any of my future pieces, check out my tag list above and let me know! And as always, feedback is greatly appreciated!

<3

- DreaSaurusREX

Even though your brother Matthew, had gone to law school and moved on to open up his firm with his college buddy, Foggy, he was a real idiot sometimes.

You had and found out about his second life as Daredevil, pretty quickly. You’d had your suspicions when the Devil intervened during a job of yours about a year ago, making you give up a douchebag to the cops instead of taking him out yourself. But it wasn’t until a month ago that you were sure it was him.

You had gone over to his place to check up on him after a particularly tough case that he and Foggy had been working on. You brought over a lot of food that he could easily reheat in his apartment, or at the office so he wouldn’t unintentionally overwork and starve himself. When you knocked on the door and heard no response, you decided to let yourself in with the spare key you he’d given you. After confirming that he wasn’t in the apartment, and putting the food in his fridge, you decided to play detective and snoop around. You were his little sister, of course you liked to look through his stuff. Through that investigation, you found the suit, baton, and horned helmet. Weirdly they were in a trunk underneath some of your dad’s old boxing stuff. You didn’t even know he had your dad’s old stuff.

You really couldn’t be mad at him for keeping that part of himself a secret from you. Afterall, he had no idea about Cerberus or the fact that you were dating one of the people that he he hated, Frank Castle.

It was a normal night that night. You did your rounds and successfully avoided Red or any of the other vigilantes that you’d been reading about in the papers. You didn’t know if you could deal with more superhero-esque drama in your life. Turning your attention to the street that you loomed over, you saw a bar, a convenience store, and a bank. Nothing seemed out of place, but something inside of you could tell that something wasn’t right.

You kept a close eye on the block for the next 15 minutes. A tall blonde woman came out of the bar with two men. Nothing bad, just some friends out for drinks. It was then that you realized you were watching Josie’s Bar and that the group that just walked out was Karen, Foggy, and Matt. Karen and Foggy were talking and you saw Matt staring off, his head cocked up a bit, as if to listen to the sky. Foggy then put a hand on Matt’s shoulder breaking his train of thought. The two men walking off in the way of Matt’s apartment, Karen walked in the direction of hers. You decided to follow her.

There wasn’t a doubt in your mind that Karen could attempt to protect herself if someone tried to jump her, but if there was more than one attacker, you feared for her. And when you lost sight of her in a small alleyway, you to jumped into action.

You quietly landed on a fire escape in the alley, getting a clearer view of Karen. She had the pepper spray you’d gotten her a few months ago in hand. Good girl, Karen.

“Hey, lady. Why don’t you come on over here and we can have some fun.” Some creep tried to get Karen’s attention, but she ignored him and kept walking, her grip tightening on the pepper spray. Her grip becoming tighter still when another man stepped in front of her.

“Hey. My buddy over there was talkin’ to yous.” Karen stood her ground and tried her best not to look scared. “It's very rude to not answer someone when theys is talkin’ to yous.”

Not moving an inch, Karen took a breath.

“Just let me through.” She couldn’t see it, but another two men came up the alley behind her. You stealthily slunk down the fire escape until you were hidden in the shadows behind the men.

“Hoo-hoo… Looks like we best teach this bitch some manners. Ain’t that right boys?” The second man gestured to the other three that were surrounding Karen. She was too frozen to move.

Time to make my entrance, I guess.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” You made your voice deeper, not only to sound more menacing, but to also attempt to keep your true identity a secret from Karen.

“Who the hell are yo-” one of them men start to ask. But then you see the familiar baton wrapped around his neck followed by an equally familiar voice.

“Karen. Get out of here.” She nodded and ran off, probably to her place.

You didn’t waste any time before fighting the two assholes closest to you. They came at you at the same time, brandishing knives. With one swift motion, you brought out your claws and started dodging attacks. You jumped behind one of the idiots and kicked him into the trash bags and brick wall to your right, making it, at least temporarily, a one-on-one fight.

You jumped over the second man as he lunged at you, scratching your claws down his back as you landed. His scream of pain was music to your ears but a warning to Daredevil. You pulled your pistol from your leg holster and got ready to put a bullet in the back of the man’s head. But of course, Daredevil didn’t like that. His baton snapped at your wrist, sending a wave of pain through your arm. You looked to your side as the baton retracted back to its owner.

“What the fuck?!”

“No killing” was all he said before he landed a knockout blow to his opponent’s skull.

All you could do was scoff before your attacker got back to his feet and swung at you. You just slipped out of the way, and socked him in the back of the head, causing him to crumble to the ground. But as the idiot fell, his knife grazed your side, leaving a sizeable cut. It wasn’t deep or deadly, but it still stung like a bitch.

You looked behind you to see that the first guy you’d taken care of was still knocked out from smashing into the brick earlier. Facing Daredevil again, you saw him land his final punch as well. He wasted no time and stormed over to you.

“Why were you following her?”

“I was just--”

“What do you want with her?”

“If you would just--”

“Who are you?!”

“Would you let me get one fucking word in, Matthew?!” Everything went silent after you said that. You were careful to not say it loudly incase anyone else heard, you’d just whispered it, but it had been loud enough for him to hear you. No use in altering your voice now. You pulled your mask down and took a breath before speaking in your normal voice so it was easier for Matthew to understand you.

“I won’t use your real name again. I just needed to get you to shut the fuck up.” He was quiet. You couldn’t get a clear read on how he was feeling. He’d just found out that his own sister was a vigilante. You turned to pick up your pistol that he’d knocked out of your grasp earlier as you spoke. “I know you probably have a lot of questions. Just let me--”

“Who else knows?”

You paused. That wasn’t the question you expected.

“About you? Or about me?

“You.”

“Two people.”

“Who? And why was I not a part of the group that knew before now?”

“My ex and my boyfriend both know. I didn’t tell you, because I knew how you’d react: by telling me to not do this, that it's ‘too dangerous’, and then go on and on about things I’d already considered before taking up this gig.” Matt scoffed and adjusted his stance, crossing his arms, clearly upset.

“First of all, we are going to have to discuss this ‘boyfriend’ when we go back to our normal lives. Second, why does your ex know?” You looked down on the ground, knowing how bad your brother was going to react to the fact that your ex was one of your victims.

“Well… Cerberus may or may not have visited him about 8 months ago and--” You saw him lean his head back to the sky and let out an aggravated sigh. He rubbed his hand down the lower half of his face and he turned back in your direction.

“(Y/N/N). You didn’t.”

“You’re partially right.” You moved towards a large steel commercial trash can and sat on top of it. “I didn’t do anything.” You paused. Matthew looked at you and tilted his head, knowing you had more to say. “But Cerberus may or may not have been the one to put a bullet in his head.”

“Jesus, (Y/N)...”

“Wow. Not very Catholic of you to use His name in vain--”

“This is not the time for jokes, (Y/N). What you’re doing is going to catch up to you and bite you in the ass. You--”

“Oh, like you’re safe from all of the consequences?!” You couldn’t help but get angry at him; he had no right to be this hypocritical. “You’ve been doing this longer than I have. You have much more on the line if and when they find out who you really are. What the fuck is gonna happen when Karen and Foggy find out? You ever think about that?”

Matthew lowered his gaze a bit and started to speak, but you could tell what he was about to say just from his demeanor.

“About that. They--”

“Oh my god… They already know, don’t they?” You started at your brother with a look of pure hurt and anger that he couldn’t see but he could sense.

“Look, I just--”

You hopped off the lid of the garbage can and started to walk back towards the fire escape you’d climbed down earlier, pulling your mask back up as you did.

“(Y/N/N), wait. I--”

“No. I am not going to sit here and listen to a story about how my brother fucking told his co-workers about his double life before he told his own fuckin’ sister. I’m not going talk to you out in the open about things that should only be discussed behind locked doors.” You took a deep breath to try to regain some composure. “I’ll come by your place tomorrow and we can talk then and there.”

You turned and climbed up the first set of ladders before you stopped and looked back to Matthew. You prepared for the backlash you were gonna get for saying the next bit.

“Also, I’m doing a pretty fuckin’ good job at keeping my identity a secret thanks to my boyfriend. Frank really knows his shit when it comes to stuff like this.”

And with that, you’re back across the rooftops of Hell’s Kitchen, heading home in a wave of anger. Matthew called the NYPD about the thugs in the alley before he headed home.

What neither of you saw or heard was the man hiding at the end of the alley with a camera. He pulled out his phone and dialed a number. With his thick Australian accent, he spoke quietly.

“I may have just found a way to get to the Frank Castle and the Daredevil...”

~~~~~~~~

Thankfully you had the day off from work the next day. Not only did you have to play it safe cause of the bandages wrapped around your torso from the knife slice, but you also had a wrist brace on thanks to Matthew’s stupid fucking baton.

Matthew.

You’d told him you would head over and talk that night. But first, you were trying to enjoy your day off,  getting ready for lunch with a girl friend of yours. As you were getting your purse together, Frank walked through the door.

“Sweetheart?” he called through apartment, he sounded like he was in one piece, thank god.

“I’m in here,” you called back. Moments later you saw him in the doorway of your bedroom, he was looking good. Even though it seemed like he always had a bruise or a cut somewhere, he was Frank and he was alive. That’s all you could ask for.

“Where you off to today?”

“I’m meeting Allie at that cafe off of 52nd and 9th. We’ve both been so busy, and have been meaning to catch up for a few weeks now.” Frank just nodded and looked as if he was thinking. “I also won’t be here for dinner. Some shit hit the fan, and I gotta go talk to my brother tonight.”

Frank knew your brother was Matthew Murdock, but he didn’t know that he was also Daredevil (or Red as he liked to call him.) So hearing that you had to go to a lawyer, even if he was family, put him on edge.

“What do you mean ‘shit hit the fan’?” You walked towards him and took his hand.

“It’s just... family stuff. Can’t really go into specifics right now.” You gave his hand a light squeeze and then checked your watch. “Oh shit. I’m gonna be late if I don’t head out now.” You turned back and grabbed your purse.

“You’re comin’ home after dinner though, right?” You walked up to him and put a soft hand over his cheek, looking him dead in the eye.

“That’s the plan.” You smiled at him and saw him smile back. It wasn’t a big, goofy smile like yours, just a small side smirk, but you were the only person who could get any sort of smile out of him; it made you feel special. Frank leaned down and kissed you before walking you to the front door.

“Keep me updated, yeah?”

Frank would never admit it, but he did worry about you whenever you weren’t with him, even more so when he knew you were walking around the city alone. Yeah, you’re Cerberus, but when you didn’t have your claws or anything, you could be vulnerable too.

“Will do. Love ya’!”

And with that, you were off.

~~~~~~~~

Lunch was exactly what you’d needed. Allie was one of those friends that made other troubles seem to drift away for some time. Your lunch ended up being lunch and a walk around the park. It was a much needed escape.

You walked with Allie back to her place and then started walking to Matthew’s. If he wasn’t there, you would just start cooking something for dinner there. You’d gotten about halfway there and decided to text both of the boys. Frank first, since he was probably more worried than Matt.

(Y/N) - “Hey, babe. Lunch w/ Allie went great. Heading to Matt’s now. No stalking. Be careful tonight. Love you.”

Then you sent a quick “On my way” to Matthew, knowing his phone would read the message out loud to him when he opened it.

It was still light outside while you were walking, so it seemed safe enough to take a shortcut through an alleyway. You had gone through it multiple times in the past and ended up okay. But apparently it was a week of unusual occurrences.

You heard someone large come up behind you. Your instincts kicked in and you quickly slid to the side as a metal baseball bat wooshed by next to you, making a metallic clang as it smashed into the cement. Turning and staring at the man, you tried to remember if you had ever seen him before.

He was a six foot tall, muscular man with a scar running down his cheek and neck. His jet black hair was slicked back, and he wore a typical white collar, New Yorker outfit. But you had never interacted with him. So why the fuck was he swinging a metal baseball bat at you?

The man didn’t hesitate to swing at you again, and again, getting more and more angry as you dodged each attempt. You didn’t have any of your usual weapons with you, and your wrist was in a brace, but you fought as best you could.

One of this swings hit a metal pipe along the alley wall, causing an unpleasant vibration to go through the metal bat and into his hand. The man dropped the bat and recoiled, giving you a chance. You quickly picked up the bat and got a few good whacks at him. One in the gut and one in the middle of his back.

“Fucking bitch!” the man growled as he grabbed your ankle and pulled, causing you to land flat on your back.

The wind was knocked out of you, and you didn’t have enough time to get up before a meaty fist smashed into the left side of your face, and a knee was forced into your stomach. Your ears were ringing too much to hear what the douchebag was saying. All you could see was a cloth getting closer and closer to covering your airways. As he put a cell phone to his ear, you blacked out.

“I got her, boss. 47th and 9th.”

Tags: @melconnor2007 @ashenfallsof @geeksareunique @all-by-myself98 

[bucky-at-bedtime]

Writing Interview

I was tagged by the lovely @sunflowers-and-bucky ! Thanks, dude, hopefully, I have some decent answers here lmao I genuinley have no idea what I’m talking about most of the time.

Imma put it under the cut because it’s a tad long

Q: What is your coffee order?  

I absolutely love a cold brew or iced latte, but when it’s too cold for that I go a medium almond milk latte. I love coffee though, I’ll pretty much drink it in any state except the instant powder. 

Q: What is the coolest thing you’ve ever done? 

I went ziplining over the Jurassic Valley in Hawaii last year and it was probably the happiest I have ever felt. (The Jurassic Park movies are probably my favourite movies ever for nostalgic reasons and because they’re fucking dinosaurs) (oh and Jeff Goldblum)

Q: Who has been your biggest mentor?

Um, I guess my brother? He’s the one who got me into movies and story-telling and I just think he’s the coolest person ever. He teaches me not to care so much about insignificant things and always knows how to make me laugh.

Also my highschool Literature teacher, Ms Penrose, was the best mentor and teacher I ever had and she was like my school mum. 

Q: What has been your most memorable writing project?

‘The Bet’ was the first series I wrote on here and I still love it with my whole heart. I had so much motivation and I wrote it in a really good time in my life so it just gives me good vibes. 

Outside of fanfiction it would have to be the folio I created for uni applications – it got me into a super competitive course and I’m proud of the stuff I put in there, even if I don’t want to be a writer anymore. 

Q: What does your writing path look like, from the earliest days until now?

It’s pretty simple – I excelled at English and Literature in highschool and loved reading fiction, I wrote short stories for assignments and in my spare time. When I finished year 12, I had been on tumblr for a while, just reading and reblogging, but I suddenly had all this spare time and copious amounts of love for marvel characters, so I started writing fics. 

I got into a fancy writing course, came to the realisation that writing is more of a hobby for me, and will be dropping out of my course so that I can truly enjoy writing fanfiction and other fun stuff again. 

Q: What is your favorite part about writing?

DIALOGUE. I love dialogue so much because it’s so hard to get right, but when you do? When the flow is just perfect and you write like 3 pages of just straight up dialogue that you add the other content into later? That is the best. 

Q: What does a typical day look like for you?  

Uni day: wake up at 5:30, train at 7:00, class at 8:30-12:30, lunch, time to fill (5 hours), second class: 5:30pm–9:30pm, train home, home by 11, usually just pass out immediately. 

Other days: wake up whenever I want, Tumblr for a while usually, watch movies, watch tv, write articles for mine and my brother’s entertainment blog (Expanded Universe Media – like us on facebook lmao), just chill out, maybe hang out with my best friend, cuddle dog for unnecessary amount of time, read, sleep. 

Q: What does your writing process look like? 

Do I have a process? ummm kind of:

Have idea (the hardest bit)

write little outline (not super detailed, just the main parts)

start writing (not necessarily from the beginning, sometimes I’m felling a scene in the middle of the fic more than the start. I find it easier to go back and add things)

go back and add anything

re-read and edit (pretty loosely)

post (maybe after my mate has read it for me and told me it’s not the worst)

Q: What’s the best advice you’ve gotten?  

oh man I don’t remember the things people say to me

maybe, “find something you love and then do it for the rest of your life.” 

I mean, it’s not as easy as that makes it sound, but I like the meaning behind it and I think we should all follow our dreams for as long as we can stand to.

Q: What advice would you give someone who wants to start writing?  

Just do it. Just post something and see what happens. Even if it gets one like or one reblog, it means someone out there likes what you do, and that you should keep doing it so more people can too.

 Write what you want to write when you want to write it because you’re not always gonna have inspiration.

[jewels2876]

Chance of a Lifetime – Chapter Two

Pairings: Paul Rudd x Reader, Tom Holland x Reader, Chadwick Boseman x Reader, Paul Bettany x Reader

Warnings: none

Summary: You are doing your first big interview with the Avengers cast ahead of the upcoming untitled film. Hilarity ensues.

You stare at your boss, jaw agape. “You seriously want me to take this bet? I thought you guys would freak out, or at least disapprove?” 

Your boss continues to smile at you. “Hmm, let’s see: put together a hot Marvel actor with one of our favorite new rising stars. Where is the trouble?” You're tempted to roll your eyes but instead give your boss a bewildering glare. Robert and Scarlett give you a hug and excuse themselves, while you continue listening to your boss. “Y/n, you’ve been learning all about these people and this is your big shot; we’re not going to hold you back if something should happen. Frankly, it would be step up from the last couple of guys you dated.” Your boss gives you a smirk and one last piece of advice. “Have fun with it! What’s the worst that could happen?”

The Next Day

There’s one more chair in the interview room than you expected. You and your boss had been given cleared schedules from Marvel, so you were intrigued to see who else might be joining. The door opened, and two guys stepped into the room: Paul Rudd & Paul Bettany. “Hey guys!” you reach your hand out, but both give you friendly hugs instead. “Take a seat! Thank you so much for joining me! You might have heard I’m a bit of a Marvel geek.” 

Paul Rudd smiles at you. “Aren’t we all really?” Bettany concurs with a nod.

“Great! So, I want to start with the question everyone is dying to ask: does everyone survive this movie?” you jump right in. 

Paul Bettany sighs dramatically before answering. “I wish I could answer that, but no one’s let me see a whole script.”

Paul Rudd looks at Bettany, “They gave you a script?” 

You smirked at them both. “Ok, yes! We established that with RDJ, the #ThanosDemandsYourSilence is still alive and well.” Both men grin at you.

The door opens, and Chadwick Boseman takes a seat next to Paul Rudd; he gives each one a fist bump before turning to you and bowing with his arms crossed. “Wakanda forever!” 

You throw your head back and laugh. “Chadwick! Lovely to meet you!” you say. “What was it like for you working with these guys?” 

He takes a moment before answering. “It was fun working with such a diverse cast; these types of movies don’t typically rely on any type of award-winning actor, but in our case, we have…something like…10 Oscars or Emmy award winners?” He looks at the Paul’s for confirmation. Paul Bettany starts counting on his fingers and you chuckle.

“Rudd,” he seems surprised by the address. “Sorry, with both of you here I tend to default to last names.” 

He shakes his head and smiles. “No, it’s fine, I just think that might be one of the first times a woman has called me by my last name!” 

You grin in response. “Ok, I feel honored. My question was going to be something much wittier but now I have to know: with more than 1 Paul on the set, what does everyone call you?” 

He chuckles as he recalls his answer. “Orange Slice. Because of one lousy improv line I get called Orange Slice by everyone!” 

You laugh with him. “That is both awesome and cringy.”

You hear the door open again and in walks Tom Holland. Your smile widens just a bit, remembering the bet you agreed to. “Tom! The new TH,” you smile. “Thanks for joining us! Nice to meet you!” 

Tom settles in the chair Paul Rudd has given up. “Lovely to meet you too,” he says in his charming British accent. You notice his glance stay on you for a moment. 

“Tom, being one of the youngest people on set, have you gotten any advice from the more seasoned actors?”

Paul Bettany leans into you. “Thank you for saying ‘seasoned actor’ and not ‘old folks’.” Everyone laughs heartily.

Tom grins and sinks back into his seat. “I really did! Both Pauls here have such great comic timing and it was fun seeing them on set. You know how much grief I get from Mackie and Sebastian; I’m pretty sure the whole world is still watching our Ace Comic Con interview on YouTube™.” 

You turned back to Chadwick with a chuckle. “Being newer to the Marvel universe, have you learned anything from this experience?” 

He smiled at you. “That’s a wonderful question, and one I haven’t gotten to answer! Truthfully, the quickest thing I learned, and not from these specific gentlemen but others, is to duck and cover. The pranks on set are getting epic on their own!” Tom interrupted, “Like that time Robert tried…” “Yes, that’s what sprang to mind,” Chadwick cut him off smoothly. “Or that time Seb and Evans…” “Yes, that one too!”

You laughed at the two guys. “Are there secrets in these stories Chadwick is trying to keep?” 

All four pair of eyes look at you amused. “Did you pick up on that?” Chadwick asked. 

“Ok, so every question is a landmine. Let me try a different path: if each of you could pick a previous Marvel movie to cameo in, which one would it be?” The four guys stare down at the floor for a second to think. “Orange Slice?” 

He smirks at you. “I’d call you Legs for Days, but the wife will kill me. Cameo, cameo… I’d have to go with Ultron. Having scenes with Elizabeth this time around was a riot and I’d love to do that again.”

“I can’t wait to see how that plays out!” You turn to Chadwick. “Your turn!” 

His answer is quick. “I’d love to have been part of the original Avengers movie; I’m waiting for my turn with Joss Whedon, I’m such a fan!” You love Chadwick’s answer. “I’m in love with Whedon’s work as well! Let me do that interview when you get it!”

You let Paul Bettany answer next. “I was the voice in all of the Iron Man movies; I’ve been an integral part of Tony’s world for so long it’s hard. But since you’re asking, I would have been delighted to work on the first Thor. That movie needed one more Brit!” 

You nod in agreement. “One more Brit would have totally made that movie!”

You turn finally to Tom Holland, who seemed prepared. “I’m lucky that I’ve worked with some of the original characters already in my first movie. That said, I have to go with Dr. Strange; that movie had some of the coolest special effects and the idea of magic meeting science…” He trails off with a smirk. 

“That sounds like Benedict talking,” you tease. “How much did he pay you to say that?” “Oh nothing!” Tom responded.

You look over to your camera guy who gives you the “1 more question” signal. You gesture in agreement. “Alright guys we have time for one more question and it comes from a number of fans. If you were still single, which Marvel actress would you have a crush on?” They all look at you in embarrassment. “Let’s start with Paul Bettany.” 

He turns pink but chuckles, “I’d definitely have a crush on Michelle Pfeiffer. I might have one now.”

You smile at Paul. “She’s hot at any age, so that’s a great answer! Ok Paul Rudd?” 

He smirks, but also turns a little pink. “I’d have to go with my co-star Evangeline Lily. Did you see her in the Wasp costume? Sorry honey!” he says directly to the camera. You nod in agreement. “Also a good choice! Chadwick?”

Chadwick grins at you. “I will admit, I’ve always had an appreciation for Danai when she was on Walking Dead.” 

You whisper “ooh” under your breath. “Is that all you want to tell us?” 

He looked at the floor before laughing. “Yes, we’re just friends; she’s a wonderful person!”

You turn to Tom Holland to finish. “Tom?” 

He smiles at you and blushes. “Well, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have a crush on someone.” 

You give Tom a side glance. “A crush on someone on set?” 

His face gets a little redder. “Is this considered on set?” he asks.

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