dopeoafzinepsychic

[annabelle--cane]

I think I'm insane

[izukuisbaby]

⊹˚.⋆ OUR FAVOURITE DILFS WITH A FAMOUS S/O - JUJUTSU KAISEN

℘. flora's notes : I've had this idea forever but I couldn't manage to write it UNTIL NOW. my idea was that reader is a model so it's kind of based on that, though you are free to be famous for whatever reason u want 💀

℘. send me a request ! : i would love to write this for other jjk characters (especially TOJI) but please give me ideas cuz i can't find anything :((

℘. gn, male, female reader 💓

m.list | comment and reblog if you enjoyed ! i am not posting at peek hours i would rly appreciate it if u could reblog w related tags 🥰

★ 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐔 𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎

℘. he 100% stalked you on your socials and knew everything about you

℘. it's also very likely that he slid into your DMs shamelessly

℘. something cringe like : " what a pretty human in a pretty restaurant, we should go there together sometime 😏"

℘. but we all know this mf, he didn't stop at ONE DM

℘. no, his name is elegantly followed by "9+ messages" all of them being cringe pick up lines to beg you to go on a date with him 😍

℘. and you eventually agreed but it was mostly for him to leave you in peace

℘. he was convinced you'd fall for his charms and unfortunately, he was right... can't blame you I would too

℘. and since your first kiss - which was an officialization of your relationship to him - he would not shut up about it

℘. everytime y'all are out in public he makes it clear he's your boyfriend for the paparazzis

℘. gojo loves attention... so he LOVES paparazzis

℘. he thinks y'all are the most goal couple to exist and brags about it

℘. "y/n, can you imagine what other people must think of us : "the strongest and the most famous (your job of choice), they were meant to be"

℘. you have 100% your own ship name and fanpages, you're labeled as the "hot couple" who is edited on tik tok 24/7

℘. I don't think I insisted enough on how he BOASTS about dating you to whoever shows a spark of interest in his life

℘. the poor nanami hears about it every second of the day and is FED UP with it, but his last straw was when gojo was talking about you to a curse they were suppose to eliminate...

℘. he has you and him on a fun fair date as a wallpaper and purposely leaves his phone on during meetings so everyone can see he's dating you... and also to get yet another occasion to brag

⊹

★ 𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐈 𝐊𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐎

℘. HE WOULD BE SO SUPPORTIVE

℘. he will attend all of your shows and interviews, always on the front row. sometimes walking for a show can be pretty stressful for you but seeing his angel face calms you down and gives you back your confidence in an instant <3

℘. ... he's very active on LinkedIn and he reposts your achievements/front pages with a professional yet sweet and admirative commentary

℘. he likes to go backstage before your shows so he can give you one last forehead kiss and compliment

℘. never hesitates to tell paparazzis to back off, he doesn't like his privacy invaded but he will gladly take pictures of you with a fan for them

℘. his favourite photo that he has everywhere is one a selfie you took before a show with a world renowned brand. you looked so stunning and confident, it never fails to make him smile when he looks at it

℘. i feel like he didn't really know you, just saw you from one or two front pages but it didn't click until you told him you were a (your job)

℘. i don't know why but i think you would have met on a dating app 😭 like nanami is tired of being single and he told gojo about it WHO OBVIOUSLY WAS KIN ON HELPING ! and he got to discover your personality first, which is the most precious part of you in his opinion

℘. because yes you ARE attractive but no one but him knows the part of you that is the most beautiful and he loves that

℘. i think he can't help but be a bit jealous that people simp over you so he would never refuse to take a cute picture for the world to see

℘. on your third date, he asked you to be his partner and gave you a ring as an officialization. since them, you've been wearing it as a lucky charm and you never take it off

© izukuisbaby. comments appreciated ! although do not modify, translate, copy, claim as your own or repost on any app/platform/social media (this applies to all of my content)

[bluecollarmcandtf]

My Mall Santa

This is Christian. Right now he's suiting up to work as my Santa for the next few days, but that wasn't what he came in here to do. This guy walked into my mall and began yelling at me for running out of a certain item he wanted to buy; it was some fancy necklace for his fiance. I explained that specialty jewels like that get sold out fast this time of year, but he shot back with his own entitled arguments.

"Do you know who I am?" he yelled, "I'm not some plumber looking for a dime-store watch! Just show me to the high-end stuff!"

By that point, the whole jewelry store was staring, so I quietly relented, "Fine sir, follow me. Hopefully, we can find something for you."

I led him to the back, but I knew he didn't deserve a fine quality necklace, and his fiance didn't deserve a jerk like him. Sure, Christian was quite the catch; handsome, assertive, and obviously rich. Just a glance at him would give that away...

...but my Santa called in sick that morning, so I'd been waiting all day for some asshole to test me and see what happens. Christian was about to discover my favorite hobby, hypnosis.

Once we were in the privacy of the storage room, I pulled out the crowned jewel of my collection. It was a long pendant with a single red ruby weighing the chain down. It caught the light in the darkest of rooms, and it quickly soaked in all of Christian's attention.

The guy had no idea what this necklace was capable of. He didn't notice as his breaths drew longer or as his head dipped lower. I doubt he even noticed that I started speaking to him, "You shouldn't be so rude to strangers. I'm going to use you for a while, but when I'm done, you won't be rude to anyone ever again."

"I won't be rude to anyone ever again..." he repeated. His intense stare continued to burn into the ruby.

"That's right, but for now, you're just going to get dressed and be my Santa, got it?"

"Yes, get dressed and be your Santa..."

I smiled and peeled the pendant from his gaze. It took him a moment, but he shook off the hypnosis and straightened himself up.

Christian's brow furrowed in confusion as he stumbled on his words, "I'm sorry about my outburst...uh...I'm going to be your Santa?"

"That's right big guy," I clapped him on the back and shoved an old cardboard box into his arms, "Get changed and meet me out front. Hurry up, there's already a line of excited kids waiting to sit on your lap!"

Christian cringed at the mention of children. He was clearly not a family man, but nevertheless, he unfolded the box and pulled out the old Santa suit. He looked at it with disdain, but got to work taking off his dressy clothes like I'd instructed, shoulders slumped in defeat.

Walking back out into the bustling mall, I searched for some more guys I could recruit. The line to see Santa was getting long, and I didn't want to be the one managing all those snot-nosed kids and their grumpy parents. It didn't take long before I found a pair of arrogant jocks laughing at the little kids. Those two would be perfect as Santa's helpers...

I lured the two of them into the back under the pretense that they would get some free merchandise. Overly-confident athletes like them were almost too gullible. The only thing that finally stopped their dumb snickers was the ruby pendulum. Their smiles faltered as their eyes locked onto the swinging gem.

"You two are going to shut up and be Santa's little helpers, understand," I commanded.

"Yes," they repeated, "We will shut up and be Santa's helpers."

I smiled and dropped the necklace, breaking their trance. The two jocks seemed alarmed as they realized they could no longer joke around with each other. They couldn't do anything other than while out their arms and accept the two sets of costumes I handed to them.

"Put them on, boys," I added, "And remember to keep those big mouths shut. Just keep the kids in line and let Santa do the talking!"

It wasn't long before I finally got Santa and his Elves out on the floor, ready to finally satisfy that long line of waiting families.

Santa might have looked a little different than most kids would have expected, and the elves certainly looked like they hated their lives, but what else can you expect from a mall Santa?

Christian endured each and every child that sat on his lap, mumbling their wishes in his ear. By the end of the day, his legs were sore and his Santa costume was sticky: probably from candy and whatever else was in those kids' fingers.

The two jocks were perfect as elves, waiting quietly behind Santa until they needed to usher a child to and from the big guy. A few of their university mates might have spotted them dressed up as Santa's helpers. I'm pretty sure they laughed hysterically when they saw the two of them, capturing as many photos as they could.

"Alright, today's shift is over!" I announced to them gleefully.

"I'm never doing that again," one of the elves grumbled as he shoved off his costume.

"Actually, you'll be back tomorrow!" I reminded, "You might want to wash your elf clothes, because you'll be here all day again!"

The two jocks pouted and stormed away. The mall was closing down but I was confident the two of them would report back bright and early for another long day of elfwork.

"Crap, I'm late for dinner with my fiance," Christian suddenly stood up in alarm, still wearing his heavy Santa costume.

I pulled the ruby out of my pocket and held it in front of my mall Santa, "Forget about her. You're going to drive me back to my place and be my personal Santa for the night."

With his eyes glued to the red gem, Christian repeated, "I'll forget about her and drive you to your place. Tonight, I'm your personal Santa."

"Good Santa," I patted his head, "And I want you to laugh and talk like Santa would in the movies. That'll really sell the Christmas magic!"

I smiled as Christian woke up from the brief trance. Again, he looked confused but didn't hesitate to grab my hand and lead me to his car. "Ho ho ho!" he bellowed in joyful laughter as he gazed at me, twinkle in his eye.

All I wanted for Christmas was Santa, and for tonight, I could do whatever I wanted with him...

[alchemistc]

Just thinking about Buck internalizing 'i don't think you're ready'. Thinking about him running back over his 'I'm an ally' speech and cringing because God, WHY did he say that, why couldn't he have just been cool.

Thinking about him actually sitting in it, and thinking about why the interruption from Eddie made him Act Like That. There's obviously the newness, the discomfort, the fact that Buck hasn't really had a chance to explore much of "Oh, I am attracted to men." yet. He was so busy with nerves and he wanted more time and then there was Eddie, who knows (probably too much) about Buck's dating history and he Hasn't Told Eddie about this. He hasn't had a chance to wrap his own mind around it yet.

Buck usually goes to three people: Maddie, Eddie, Bobby.

And he hasn't talked to any of them. And he's stewing, trying to figure out WHY, because he's always been supportive, so why should he feel any different when he's on the other side of it.

He goes to Maddie and pushes his "I've always supported the gays" agenda AGAIN and Maddie has to parse the details, gently shove Buck in the right direction - well, if you're MORE than an ally now, that could be something that is preventing you from telling your best friend the truth, let's explore that some more.

It takes him two tries with Eddie, and maybe it's the setting (why would you think it was a good idea to come out in the middle of the station, Evan Buckley, supportive ally or no that's not exactly gonna put you in your comfort zone, c'mon) or maybe he just needs to work his way up to it because Eddie is obviously Preoccupied. But he almost lets the moment pass, again, at home, in his own space, bc Eddie is still Preoccupied. But -- but he doesn't WANT to, because they are talking about their love lives and Buck wants Eddie to be an active participant in his thought process just like he always is.

We were on a date, he says, and Eddie takes a second to process. Which. Fair. Buck had leaned against his kitchen island for like ten minutes after Tommy left, that night after he kissed him. Eddie prompts him to repeat it, and it doesn't suck, actually, it feels like a weight lifting off his chest -- "Is that weird?" -- but of course Eddie doesn't find it weird, he just didn't KNOW (so many pieces of the puzzle fall into place for Eddie, holy shit his best friend maimed him because he had a crush on their new friend, holy shit had Tommy been slyly pumping his son for information because HE had a crush too???).

And suddenly Buck is absolutely free to bitch about his love life again, and Eddie is there to give him advice and be fully in his corner and Buck has exactly what he needs to go Full Buck. He's got his sister, and his best friend, and maybe he actually doesn't need Bobby this time because it feels right to call Tommy up and set up a meeting for coffee.

No longer bogged down by "well I'm an ally why couldn't I have been chill about being on a date with a dude" - he can text Maddie that night and be like "Hey is Tommy already invited to the wedding?" and grin when she texts back "Buck what does this mean" and send back "You said you wanted to meet him".

With Eddie's support and his "well then he's an idiot", Buck has the time to mull over what he wants to say, what Tommy makes him feel, what he would want if Tommy was willing to give him another chance. He doesn't want it to be one failed date, he doesn't want to hide Tommy away, he wants something real and something true and something he can share with his family and friends and he thinks maybe Tommy could want that, too.

[dzvelinaskebiyars]

I was thinking about Misa!reader x draken angst no comfort or angst and comfort uhhh oneshot? (if you want)

you know Misa right? from death note. soo like reader basically acts and looks like Misa and is childhood friends with draken and is in LOVE with draken. in the year of 2005 on uhhh February 14, misa!reader leaves a love letter in draken's room and then decides to go to a bakery or something for a cake for draken BUT she gets jumped by a rival gang and is be4t to death. and draken finds out.. she can di3 or survive the be4tings.. sorry if this was confusing or if this is uncomfortable for you!

Hi! This isn't uncomfortable for me, do not worry! I love angst with all of my heart and I'm more than happy to write it. Thank you for requesting<333

Warnings: cuss words, strong/mature language, gang violence, angst.

Finally.

After 10 years from the first day of your and Draken's friendship, you've gathered up the courage to confess to him.

It's February 14 today, the day you first met Draken 10 years ago. You've been hinting at him for a while, that you were in love with him but he turned out to be denser than expected.

You came over to his place but being the vice commander of Toman, he was currently busy so he asked you to wait for him. That's when the idea of writing him love letter popped up in your mind.

Sitting in the quiet room, you grabbed paper and pen from his desk and started writing your feelings down. Your cheeks heating up in the process.

"Dear Ken,

I've been trying to tell you something for 10 years now, but I didn't have enough courage. Even now, I'm embarrassed to say it to your face, hence why I'm writing this letter. I love you, Ken. Not as a friend but as something more. I have had feelings for you since the day I met you. I'm sorry for not telling you this sooner but I was, still am, scared. I'm scared of being rejected. I'm afraid that even when I've given you my heart, you won't accept it. That's why I'm unable to face you. I'm using this as an opportunity to tell you that I love you. I love you to the moon and back. You're my world.

From [name]"

You left the letter on his desk, feeling rather anxious. Leaving his place, you went outside to get some fresh air. Even if you've decided to tell him like this, you couldn't help but feel anxious. So, you thought going outside would help you calm down a little. But you just ended up getting overwhelmed by the amount of people outside.

After walking to another place, somewhere with less amount of people, were you able to finally calm down.

But it didn't last long.

"Hey, beautiful." The guy's voice interrupted your thoughts. The voice and face of his was unfamiliar, obviously you have never met him before. "Mind giving us your phone number?" He said with wicked smirk. Two guys behind him were eyeing you up and down.

Because of your little career, you certainly were popular and had deal with people like him before. You declined his offer. "I'm sorry but I have to decline."

He frowned. "Why?"

His friend started speaking up now. "Come on, sweet thing, we're just asking for your phone number."

You cringed at the petname, wishing nothing but to punch him in the jaw, if he wasn't twice of your size, that it. You shook your head, turning away to leave but one of them grabbed your wrist.

"Why are you playing hard to get, you bitch?!"

You started to get anxious again, trying to get free from their grasp but the air got knocked out of you as one of them punched you in the stomach. You fell on the ground. "HELP! SOMEBO-" You weren't able to finish as the powerful kick was delivered to your face.

Your eyes watered up, tears threatening to spill. They continued with their kicks and punches, beating you up to pulp. You would have certainly died had the police not arrived.

...

Draken stepped in his own room, expecting to see you but was met with empty and silent room instead. Sighing out of disappointment, he sat down on his bed, eager for rest after the meeting.

That's when the piece of paper caught his attention. He took it in his hands and started reading it, already guessing that it was from you.

But...His jaw dropped, eyes widening in shock, as he read the letter multiple times, thinking his eyesight was deceiving him. The blush creeped up on his cheeks, smile forming up on his lips.

There's no way he'd reject you. He loved you just as much.

The call on his phone snapped him out of his thoughts, seeing his friend's name, he picked up. "Yes?" Hearing his friend's panicked voice, anxiety creeped up in his body.

"Draken you h-have to hurry! [name] is in the hospital. Badly b-beaten up!" the person sobbed out over the phone.

Draken froze. "W-What..?" His voice was so weak and shaky, hardly processing whatever he just got told. He immediately rushed to his bike, driving to the hospital that his friend told to come to.

Draken was praying in his heart, praying to God that you'd survive. Despite his trembling hands, he was able to drive to the hospital without crashing with anything. But his safety didn't matter to him now. He rushed in the hospital, hurriedly going up to third floor where you were.

Your family members were already there, crying. Crying as if they lost their lifetime, only tragedy written on their face. Your friends sobbing in the corner. "Where is she? How is she?!" Draken asked, louder than he expected.

The sight before him making his skin crawl from fear, fear that he has lost you. One of your friend stood up, trying to calm down as they informed him. "[Name]...She's in critical condition. Doctors s-said she might not survive."

He could swear, he could swear that he felt his world falling apart to pieces, the ground beneath his shattering and dragging him in the void. He felt like there were ropes around his neck, choking him to death as he struggled to breathe.

He didn't know what to say. All Draken wanted to do was to see you and hold you in his embrace, but he just got informed that you might die.

"H-How did this happen?" He finally managed to speak up, his voice barely audible.

"She got jumped by some assholes and they beat her up to death. Police arrested them though."

His sorrow got replaced with uncontrollable anger. He wanted nothing but to beat those morons up to death, to actual death bed and deliver them to reaper with his own hands.

He sat down on the hospital chair, his knuckles turning white from the strength he was putting in his fists, his nails cutting his skin. He couldn't do anything else except waiting. He hated how helpless he was, not being able to help you at all.

He remembered the letter you wrote for him. I love you, Ken. He remembered your words, his heart starting to feel incredibly heavy. As if it was about to fall in his stomach from the weigh of grief he was feeling.

He sent his prayers to God, praying to him to don't take you away while the cold tears run down his cheeks.

"please, God...I can't live without her."

♡♡♡♡

Hii! I hope you're satisfied with this<333

Gosh, I LOVE angst.

[lesslie-sass]

Here's my advice

Stop being sexist against your own sex, and go get some therapy for several things

No rational human being wants you dead

But you do really like to be terrible and make yourself the victim

But I don't condone people telling you to off yourself

Grow a spine and realize when you're insulting people like me that have to deal with mental dissorders too. You're not the only one

Or perhaps simply move communities so you don't have to deal with people that have proper media literacy and a want to respect people with mental disorders. Either works

Again, obviously no rational human being wants you to die and no one should ever tell you to. But we don't want to deal with your shit if you're being sexist and ableist. Stop being an absolute hypocrite

Jeez, put your hate boner away, I can feel it from another continent

First of all, just because I don't wanna excuse female character's terrible behavior doesn't suddenly make me a "women hater" like you want to see me as, I don't care what gender Uzi is and still would've thought she's annoying brat. For the "ableistic" shit, as again, mental problems doesn't excuse terrible behavior, acting out only makes situation worse and people around either annoyed or creeped out (like Uzi's classmates but I guess their feelings don't matter near your gothic waifu) and for your "she's heavily implied to have BPD, PTSD, autism, etc." I have one small question - did Liam or Glitch officially state that Uzi has any of those? No? Then shut up about your headcannons, or rather delusions and projections, that has no ground to be used as argument.

Playing the victim, huh? Oh sorry, how dare I be openly upset about getting dogpiled and hated for my opinion that others, you as well, could've easily ignore. That people got butthurt I wasn't backing down and destroyed my reputation in return, blocking me, spreading how terrible I am, how wrong and toxic I am, encouraged others to do the same. You didn't need to do this, but you did and encouraged it anyway, not carring that I have problems, that I may not be doing great irl, that I actually might've had something to do with myself, only because you couldn't just move on. Just because fictional character and ship getting shitted on was more important in your eyes, compared to me who didn't harrass or insult anyone directly, you have fucked up priorities.

I had every right to get you all to fuck off, when you didn't wanna listen to any of my points AND ignored Lizard literally wishing me to die, or even someone close to me to die. You just want to have some kind of "enemy" of the fandom, target those who's vocal about their negative opinion about MD and make fandom bring them down and tier them apart, to feel better that you "defeated" them and saved the fandom from such "toxic" individual.

And who the hell are you to tell me or anyone else if they should leave the fandom? That "you" don’t wanna deal with my shit, when it's not even directed at anyone directly? Or is it more like "we accept you the way you are, cringe and free! ...until you have different opinion than we do"? Like the same thing with VanityMoth, with people like you invalidating his opinion that happened to be the one you don't agree with and making him this big asshole who's terrible and should just shut up for good. (I use him as example for how this isn't one time accident with me, I may not agree with every point he makes or his behavior, which might as well got worse because of huge hate he got, I speak here only for myself and how this kind of situation was towards me) It's not that people think you can't handle criticism, it's that you clearly show you can't.

AND...

Why I should ask anything from this person, who was all to happy to add fuel to the situation and clearly doesn't like me either? Heck no, they're in my block where they belong.

And therapy is expensive btw and with your creepy ass obsession towards me you need it more, perhaps in good place like Mount Massive Asylum OR perhaps listen to your own advice and leave me alone

[misslycoris]

PINK CARNATIONS

DILUC RAGNVINDR

First time doing one of these and boy you don't know how absolutely smitten I am with him. It could be the red aesthetic, it could be the voice, it could be his personality. All I know is that I am head over heels for him.

So basically this is some fluffy HCS that I wrote about Diluc having a crush on you and slowly gaining the courage to finally fess up. Also apologies for the inaccuracies and cringe lmao.

HEADCANONS

His infatuation for you started small, when his mood improved whenever you were around, whether it's visibly smiling when you entered the tavern or being extra charitable to the patrons. It gradually became more obvious to the regulars and while you'd think they'd confront the man and try to get something out of him, instead they would ask you to come to Angel's Share more often to increase their chances of getting free drinks and discounts. Kaeya and Venti would drag you to Angel's Share the most.

Sooner or later Diluc finally realizes that something's going on under his nose, especially after he sees you being dragged by the drunken bard inside the establishment. He asks you why you came to his tavern again not that he minded, it was just getting more frequent. You were none the wiser and told him that Venti slurred something about you being a good luck for getting good drinks.

Diluc would put two and two together and decide to ask the bard as to what he's scheming, and all hell breaks loose when Venti finally tells him to confess that he's smitten with you. He denies this and asks him to refrain from dragging you to his tavern but once that revelation was drilled into his head? Oh boy, he couldn't sleep a wink that night. He was thinking of all the scenarios, asking himself if he truly has feelings for you.

He would imagine you leaving Angel's Share and never coming back, leaving Mondstat and going to the other side of Teyvat, introducing him to some lowlife who was to be your lover, you rejecting his confession if he were to admit it. He didn't like any of those one bit.

So naturally the next time you were around he was obviously more conscious of his behavior, more careful with you, even more gentler. Ask him how his day was and he'd gladly tell you how it went while you share drinks.

On occasions he would give you small little gifts, small trinkets, free juice, and flowers. Testing the waters, and slowly gaining the courage to finally admit to himself that he did like you more than he anticipated. Surprise him with a gift of his own and he'd keep that inside his room like a trophy.

Then he would get more confident, making casual remarks that would get you to doubletake, and borderline flirting with you. It'd be something along the lines of "It'd be nice to have you around more often" or "Angel's Share isn't complete without its angel". Sometimes Kaeya overhears your conversations and tries his best not to laugh.

And once this phase starts? Best believe he ain't stopping, especially seeing you flushed red whenever he was giving you compliments. He's very sweet with his compliments and god forbid you have a weak heart since he would say the most romantic thing known to man like it was nothing.

At this point the both of you were everything but lovers, please confess first this man would love that and would practically fall for you all over again. You'd think he was unpleased seeing as how serious he looked as you were singing your heart out to him, but in truth he was just keeping himself from stopping your confession midway through and just grabbing you by your hips and giving you the world right then and there. He respects your feelings and he would wait until you said everything that you needed to say to him.

After that he would slowly step out of the bar and go over to you, slowly lifting your chin up and leaning in for the softest, sweetest, yet painfully short kiss of the century. This man would have a smile that would kill the most stone cold bastard in Teyvat, and you got to see it. Thank god the tavern was empty or else they'd see you visibly malfunction and melt into his embrace.

He'd spend the day with you just to his side, making drinks with a bit more enthusiasm this time.

Kaeya would absolutely take the piss out of him and tease him about him.

[raitobie]

Hi!

I know I’m just a random person, but I wanted to let you know that I absolutely adore your blog! Your posts never fail to brighten my day when I’m scrolling through my feed. Your creative style and the way you express your self-ship about Light is very inspiring as a fellow self-shipper. It's evident that you put a lot of thought and heart into everything you share.

I couldn't help but notice that in some of your posts, you mention holding back from posting certain things to cater to your audience. I just wanted to say that your unique perspective and ideas are what make your blog so special. Your authenticity shines through, and that's what makes your content stand out.

You’re so incredibly cool and creative, and I genuinely admire your willingness to be yourself. Your honesty about your creative process is something I find truly refreshing.

On top of all that, as a fellow Black girl, I find your presence in the online space to be incredibly inspiring. Your representation and the way you share your interests are both empowering and heartwarming. It's wonderful to see someone like me being unapologetically themselves and pursuing their passions.

So, keep being amazing, keep being you, and keep creating exactly what you want to create. Your art and your voice matter, and they make a difference. Thank you for sharing your world with us. :)

(I’m sorry if this ask is corny or awkward, im so bad at expressing myself lol)

Man, I’ve just been staring at this ask fr just looking like this 🥹 I’m not even sure what to say or how to start with my reply, I’m just. 😭🤍 you are fine and expressed your feelings and thoughts adequately and clearly! I have quite a bit to say, so I’m cutting it.

This blog and my art is entirely intended for myself and my own interest and pleasure. I had no expectations of gaining any kind of interest or attention in my drawings and posts because it’s obviously so personalized and catered to me as an individual.

I’m not really a death note fandom blog, this is my little space for me to have fun and get my long term insanity about Light out of my system in one of the many ways I do 💀 I don’t even really consider myself in the self ship community because I just don’t feel like I really fit in any particular space, nor am I very interactive with people. I’m essentially in a virtual corner playing with a doll of Light and my self insert by myself lmao

And I do it because I have to. I don’t have anybody I truly relate to or anywhere I feel I truly belong or connect, even other black folk. So, I made my own space and my little world where I do belong. So the fact that you can look at my stuff and connect with it and feel like you’re not alone and inspired makes me so happy 🥹🥹 and even though I’ve long accepted and am totally fine with the idea of nobody caring about how I feel about Light or even who I am, it means the world to me that somebody does regardless. Your words are so sweet and have made my day better.

So with all that being said, my (I assume you mean my more recent) comments about catering to an audience I guess was in part more vague commentary about cringe culture and the general mentality surrounding self inserting/self shipping and separately, me just holding back from being more horny on main because I’m not sure anybody needs nor wants to see that LMAO is anyone actually interested or curious about those things?? If so, let me know fr 💀

But yeah, being myself, even if it’s presented in a very filtered and curated way is the only way I know how to be. I’m not diminishing myself for anybody. I’ve only gotten nice comments and support so far, but no negativity could stop or discourage me anyway. This blog is for me to be free. I am glad and hope you are encouraged to be yourself too, because you matter and are appreciated as well, more than you know! 🤍 you’re my sister and I care about you! Thank you so much again, anon!!

[hide-away-wally]

You know, tumblr is still kind of good, actually. I suppose if you consider what became of twitter, the bar is quite low, but it's too bad that long form blogging started to be seen as "passé" at some point in the not too distant past.

I vaguely remember when the format was still quite relevant. I had one when I was in college. It was a WordPress site. It started as a free one, the sort that was hosted on the WP servers, but I eventually got all weird and entrepreneurial, what with trying to start up a literary magazine from scratch and so on, so I discovered how web hosting worked, and learned web design, and eventually had my own custom Wordpress installation hosted on a shared server.

I honestly kept that same host for two decades, which makes me feel sad and old. I've been running out of money, and possibly time, and I didn't renew the subscription this month. I just couldn't. My custom email address, the email address I'd been using for those same two decades, is dead now, but it occurred to me that I never got emails I was genuinely interested in anymore. It was just there for password retrieval, spam, and random notifications from various corporate entities. I don't mourn my websites and such, but it's obviously a problem to have the email down for too long. So I caved ... though I didn't renew the same host. I started paying them 8 bucks a month way back when, and I didn't even notice how it gradually became over 20. I shopped around, and found something that was 12 bucks for the YEAR. Now, that's only the first year, but I don't give a fuck, a deal's a deal. That's a huge saving. Anyway, the problem is that my domain names are hosted elsewhere, and I forgot the password ... and the email the domain registrar has on file to sent reset links and such is the DEAD email address. So fuck me, I guess. I've reached out to them and sent them my ID and all that garbage, so hopefully their "ownership" department can sort this little Catch-22 out eventually...Serves me right. But I digress. Nobody read the blog I used to publish back in college, of course. Same as this one. What in this case is largely by design, back then was a source of anxiety for me. Harper and I are both artists, or were. And I began to realize just how much our civilization despises artists fairly early on. It only tolerates us when we generate capital, specifically for the benefit of non-artists. So at the time, I was quite afraid of what obscurity and failure would do to me. Rightly so, of course. It did everything I was afraid of, and so much more. I remember coming down to the front desk to consult with an acquaintance who was working the night shift there, picking her brain about all the blog stuff, how to actually build an audience and so on. She gave me all sorts of advice, bless her, but I just couldn't properly understand or apply it. Something about tecnorati, and some other website that was kind of like reddit but not quite, and aggregators, and maybe actual reddit? I was asking her specifically because she had a semi "successful" blog at the time. I can't remember what it was about. Something to do with nature, maybe? Hiking? Fishing? I don't know.

Come to think of it, I can't remember what mine was about either ... Which is only striking me as a bit odd. It was probably garbage, to be fair. I am sure that's the reason. It couldn't have been much good if even its actual author can't recall. If I had to guess, it was basically just like this ... a lot of ramblings and digressions, except now there's at least a nominal "focus" ... kind of.

I probably haven't changed or grown all that much ... For much of your life, you look back on your younger self, and you often think "wow, I was one silly and goofy piece of jello back then, and I am so glad I grew out of that phase." At some point that seems to have changed for me. I begin to realize that the old me was never a terrible person by any stretch, even if I was a bit cringe and made mistakes and all that, but I felt like a terrible person, all the damn time, especially when I was depressed. And I still feel exactly the same way now, like a terrible person. Except I can tell the old me wasn't that. They were just naive and innocent and still had hope.

Depression is one hell of a killer, you know. Over the past few decades, people seem to have made it out to be the "acceptable" mental illness, or a "universal" one. Depression and anxiety are used as the butt of self deprecating jokes by people who don't actually understand what they are. PTSD is another one. People think that watching a scary movie or weird commercial qualifies as "childhood trauma." Oh, honey, that's sweet. That's precious. I've got OCD too ... people still think it means you're meticulous or like a clean room or some shit. The reality is so much worse. The constant intrusive thoughts. INTRUSIVE thoughts, not impulsive ones. It's not a compulsion to say or do something goofy for your friends to laugh at. It's vivid images of people you love being slowly tortured and cut open by indistinct perpetrators, so violent and horrid that you WINCE, at least once an hour, its detailed worst case scenarios, atomic bombs, home invasions, gruesome accidents, running through your head multiple times a day, so immersive that you have to shake and shake and shake till you can push it loose. I've got all the good "acceptable" ones. The so called "treatable" ones. The ones it's supposedly okay to talk about, except it really, really isn't. It really, really isn't. Harper had 'em too. Harper was the only friend I had who actually got it. The rest have gone away. I am left in the underworld all alone. Fuck em.

Depression is one hell of a killer. Real trauma is one hell of a killer. There is no healing. I know that now. No recovery. There are occasional remissions and relapses, and then there's death. Fuck, what was I talking about. Eh. Clearly, I am not well.

[timpac-capstone]

Week 3

Started this week by looking at past capstone projects to get an idea as to what level of professionalism is expected of me. Also what topics have been tackled and how the use of animation was better able to get the artist's message across. It does relieve some stress seeing that there are some obvious corners cut from these projects but every idea I have had so far is so ambitious that I don't think I have the time or skill to make it come to fruition.

Artists: Khianna Byrne, Jadesola Colpa, Jasmine Hoagland, Katie Owens, James Ring, Christine Drobish.

One of the initial ideas I had for my capstone was about a rat that goes to a rat city that becomes more monstrous over time due to the toxicity of the city itself and its populace. This week I looked at the trailers and concept art for "The Tale of Despereaux" and "Flushed Away" since they both are set in a rat city. I was going to watch both of them but they look so bad, story-wise and design-wise, that I felt my energy was better spent somewhere else. I also looked at an animation by Steve Cutts called "Happiness" which is the concept that I want to go for which is rats that do human things and criticizing the rat race we are put in because of our desires. However, I don't think I'm gonna go with this idea because I have zero experience in making backgrounds and obviously the rat city is going to play a huge role in the story so it has to look interesting and polished.

This is a recent assignment I did for a Creative Programming class in which we had to create a drawing using a very specific set of rules that we chose for ourselves. I am someone who hates the feeling of cringe and I feel that I often think back at my most embarrassing moments more than most people do. So I thought why don't I try exploring that?

The rules were:

1). Watch an old video of yourself and every time you cringe draw a continuous line

2). When you stop cringing you stop drawing and make a dot where you stopped, If you start to cringe again continue from the dot you left off at.

3) The pencil must be on the paper at all times and you can't pause the video.

I have one specific YouTube video that I made when I was a sophomore in high school that my friends make fun of me to this day about. Every time I've tried rewatching it I couldn't even get past the first second and this gave me a good excuse to force myself to sit through the whole thing. I was surprised by the results, sure there were a few moments that were agonizing to sit through but overall it wasn't that bad. I think this might be something worth exploring further in my capstone.

REFLECTION:

This week I'm feeling that things are slowly coming together, ever since I've started this capstone I've been looking a lot into the production side of things, which I've always enjoyed doing in my free time but it's especially hard to find anything for animated shows. I have a better idea as to how ambitious my project should be but still no specific idea that I'm dead set on doing, maybe if I look through more old personal projects or assignments maybe I'll find something to latch onto.

[therealjordan23]

just a quick angsty Lumity/huntlow drabble

ooo

Hunter paid no attention to it. 

He felt uncomfortable enough accompanying a group of people he had just befriended, and felt even that label was an over exaggeration. He was closest to Willow and Gus, under chaotic terms with Luz, and with Amity? He never knew where he stood with her. Ever since their infamous battle for the portal key's blood, the two had never really spoken after that. 

So when he became privy to Amity's woes after Luz's recent lack of communication, he didn't pay any attention to it. The others, including the basilisk Vee, and Luz's mother, Camila, had tried to get Luz to open up, but the moody Latina was in no mood to talk to anyone. Amity was extremely depressed, even blaming herself for Luz's attitude, much to everyone's horror. However, he had kept himself distant. He couldn't go poking his nose where it didn't belong. 

It had been exactly 4 days since they had come from the Demon Realm, and Amity was a shell of her former self. Any hope of her and Luz's relationship blossoming in the Human Realm was squashed, and he felt sympathy for her. After all, Amity Blight had demons of her own—not knowing if her family was alive, not knowing if her friends had survived, and coming to terms with her mother being a bitch was enough for anyone. But on top of this, someone who she thought moved her more than anything was shutting her out. 

But again, he paid no attention to it. 

Hunter sighed, lying down on Camila's sofa, closing his eyes. Back in the Emperor's Coven, he was trained to be a light sleeper in case they would run into any danger. However, in this world, he was free to sleep peacefully. Guilt wracked his body when he thought of Darius and the others, but he shrugged it off. What could he do about it? 

He heard someone coming into the Living Room, but he kept his eyes shut. There was a light tap on his shoulder, and he popped open one eye. 

"Hi, Blight." he greeted cordially. 

"Sorry… the sofa looked so uncomfortable, and I was wondering if you wanted a pillow?" she asked, soft pillow in hand. 

"Oh… thank you." 

There was a tense silence, and he sat up while she propped up the pillow behind his neck. 

He sighed. "I'm… err, used to sleeping in uncomfortable positions," he coughed. "Uh… Emperor's Coven and all." 

She nodded. "Well, it wouldn't hurt to be comfortable sometimes." 

Amity sat on the sofa adjacent from him, and sighed. She looked paler than usual, which was saying a lot, and her sunken eyes were strong indicators that she hadn't been sleeping much. 

"You okay?" 

He cringed at bow stupid his question sounded. Obviously she wasn't okay. 

"Yeah… I know you've been keeping your distance from the whole thing."

He blushed, and sat up, before slowly making his way towards Amity and sitting next to her. 

"I didn't want to intrude." 

She glanced at him. "Well, you're apart of the group now. That means being apart of group matters." 

"But this is a girlfriend matter." 

"Hunter, friends are allowed to ask what's going on." 

He opened his mouth to say something, but faltered. She was right. 

"Could you… maybe talk to her?" she asked in a small voice. 

Hunter paled. "Blight, I'm flattered," he said slowly, choosing his words carefully. "But who am I to talk to your Human? You have four other people in this house who are far more inclined to help her open up—" he was cut off by Amity suddenly rushing to him, wrapping him in a tight hug. 

Her choked sobs wracked her body as she cried against his chest, and Hunter was stunned. Amity Blight, one of the strongest witches he had ever faced, was now reduced to a blubbery, angst-ridden mess due to the actions of Luz Noceda. Even though he was uncomfortable, he slowly wrapped his arms around her. Hunter sighed. Even if Amity was heavily distraught about her lover's recent lack of communication, he had to admit that it was sweet seeing someone care so deeply about another person. Maybe that's what Luz, who had recently blocked herself off from any emotion, needed to understand. 

"I'll go talk," he whispered. 

"I-I'm sorry," Amity sighed. "I don't want to guilt you into talking to her just because I'm crying." 

"No, no," he murmured. "I just… know where you're coming from." he said, staring off into the distance. 

His gaze drifted towards the patio, where Willow and Camila were happily chatting away as they planted seedlings into the dirt. Willow had a streak of mud brushed across her cheek, dirt ridden jeans, and her face was flushed from working in the yard all day. However, once she caught him sneaking a glance at her, she smiled warmly, waving at him with the small shovel in her hand. Hunter blushed, and returned her wave. Even if she was tired, she always had the time for him. 

Luckily Amity didn't catch this interaction due to wiping her own tears away, and he quickly regained his composure. 

"Sit down and pull yourself together… Amity," he said softly, her first name feeling foreign against his tongue. "You're stronger than this. You've faced death countless times, and Luz isn't a hurdle worth your tears. I told you that there's nothing worse than disappointing someone who thinks you're special… well, it works both ways. That special someone can't disappoint you either."

He didn't bother paying attention to her reaction, because he turned around, and started for the stairs, heading towards Luz's bedroom. When she wasn't busying herself with avoiding Amity outside, Luz usually holed herself up in her dark, depressing bedroom. Unless she never wanted to be in a relationship ever again, Hunter needed to put a stop to it now. 

He knocked. 

"Go away."

He rolled his eyes. "It's Hunter."

He was met with silence. Stunned silence, almost, like he was the last person on the Human Realm that she was expecting. He held his breath, and soon enough, the door swung open. Hunter wrinkled his nose as the musky scent of the dingy room hit his nostrils, and looked up to find the human sitting on her bed. She still hadn't changed out of her clothes from the Demon Realm, it was clear Luz hadn't showered since returning home, and her hair was a mess. 

"It smells bad," he said plainly. 

Luz scoffed. "Good to see you too." 

"We live in the same house. It's good to see me? We aren't meeting up after a month's time, human." 

She stayed silent. 

"What are you doing? What is going on with you?" 

She rolled her eyes. "Did Amity send you?" 

He shrugged. "She's worried about you. So are your friends and your mother. Everyone's scared to approach you." 

"And you?" 

Hunter scoffed. "I don't care about what you do, Luz, I don't have any control over how you think and feel. But when your girlfriend is crying to me, there's a problem." 

"Tell her to stop worrying. I don't need anyone's support right now." 

He growled. "Listen to yourself. Stop worrying? What part of the title awesome girlfriend are you living up to if you're turning your own partner away?"

She stayed silent. 

The night they had arrived, Camila had sat the five dejected teenagers down, and drilled into their heads that the best thing they could do now was relax and not blame themselves for what happened. Clearly, the drilling wasn't hard enough for Luz.

"I know why you're so upset… you feel guilty over leaving. But Luz, you need to focus on the positives—not only are you alive, but you have your closest friends, girlfriend, and mother by your side. All of which are willing to console you." 

Luz growled. "And the negatives?" she sneered. "What about those? Do I just forget about them?"

He cleared his throat. "No. Because all of that did happen. We get to live in this safe realm while they have to deal with The Collector. We don't even know if they're alive as we speak. But Luz, is this really how you want to cope with the situation? Alone in some dingy room, while your girlfriend cries?" 

She stayed silent. Hunter began to grow frustrated, but unlike the others who had tried reasoning with Luz, he wasn't afraid to show it. 

"Is Amity worthless to you?" he finally asked in disbelief. 

She looked horrified. "No! What would even give you that idea?!" 

He smirked, but there was absolutely no mirth in his merlot eyes. "Oh, well let's see here… is it the lack of communication, emotional support, or physical?"

She scowled. 

Hunter continued, knowing exactly how to push her buttons. "Or maybe it's the severe pain of realizing of someone who she thought was her second half absolutely refuses to—"

"Alright, alright, alright!" Luz snapped, finally showing how she felt. "I can take a fucking hint!"

Hunter held back a look of surprise. It was almost… refreshing to hear Luz curse. She was usually a bubbly, energetic, hyperactive person, but all of that had been locked away for the past four days. Now, he finally heard some emotion. 

"Prove it then." he said, before slipping out of the bedroom. 

[doctorbunny]

MILGRAM theory time: Haruka!

This isn't going to go super in depth (famous last words) but there's a few heavily debated parts of Haruka's MV I want to share my findings/thoughts on because I think this is my new special interest and during my quest to get best boy's song to 1 million views I have been looking over his first MV with a fine tooth comb so to speak.

Disclaimer: As the Jackalope said in the "This is the MILGRAM" trailer, we don't necessarily know everyone's crime from just the first video, its possible that a lot of things will be re-contextualized in the second MV, however I am not psychic or bilingual and thus will only be working with content released before August 20th 2021 and translated into English (which could cause some language/cultural details to be lost on me as translation is not a 1 to 1 process).

TW for discussions of ableism, child abuse, murder and animal death. Also this is really long so sorry to all the people that follow me for non-MILGRAM stuff

Firstly, I want to start on the topic of Haruka as a person. He is disabled. He does not have 'the mind of a child' (although he is 17, making him legally a minor in both North America and Japan). He is not just 'child-like'. And he is not mentally ill (well he might be, in the sense that many disabilities like Haruka's have strong comorbidities [where a person has two or more conditions but neither directly causes the other] with anxiety, depression and PTSD, but usually when I see people talk about him 'struggling with mental illness' they go on to refer to aspects of his disability). Sometimes on tumblr, people like myself, will see canonical traits written into a character and identify them as being traits associated with our disabilities/mental illness and headcanon them as such. Sometimes this even involves saying things like "It's basically canon!" Although we understand that these characters were probably not the result of a writer intending to write a disabled person. When I say that Haruka is being written as a person with a neurodevelopmental disability, I mean the writer intended to write a disabled character and wrote them in a way that they wanted the audience to pick up on. As an autistic person (which is one of many neurodevelopmental disorders and also something I probably didn't have to specify because who else would be writing an essay about a series they got into a few days ago at 11 o'clock at night) I really like how Haruka has been written so far. There's definitely some parts of him that have been exaggerated so abled normies can pick up on his disability (namely how his MV 's main motif is really child-like drawings) but the writers also included a lot of smaller details I appreciate like how it is noted he avoids eye contact when talking to other people and is depicted as nervously pulling at his sleeves in official artwork, or how he says he finds his prison uniform (which has tight straps) 'relaxing' and when he gets nervous/tense, he will dig his fingernails into the palm of his hands. (These last two potential being examples of 'self stimulation' [aka stimming] where a person seeks out specific sensory stimuli in order to help regulate their nervous system/emotions, in this case the tight uniform creates a comforting, secure feeling [you may have heard about some people preferring to sleep under weighted blankets for this reason] and digging nails into his palms sounds uncomfortable/painful but is done in an attempt to deal with a greater sensory discomfort caused by the situation/environment) I also appreciate the depth he is written with, he struggles to communicate verbally but in his MV and interactions with other inmates is shown to have insecurities, opinions and a consistent thought process (this is all basic character stuff but unfortunately not always present in disabled characters)

Also I want to add that (in terms of what we've been shown so far) Haruka did not kill anyone because of his disability/mental illness. Disabled people are not inherently more innocent than abled people. But there is no disability/mental illness where a symptom is that you kill people and real people have to live with the stigma when you speak carelessly and suggest things like "Haruka is the kind of mentally ill person who kills people as a cry for help" 🧂 (or at the very least real people have to read BS like that and cringe). TL;DR Haruka is less child-like and more onion-like (as in, he has layers) 🧅🧅🧅

Now is the actual theory stuff, oops:

Every prisoner in MILGRAM is supposed to have committed murder in some way, obviously considering Yuno just had an abortion (which i personally do not consider an act of murder) whilst Mu literally stabbed someone to death, this definition is stretched a bit. But it is not agreed upon yet who Haruka killed/how many people he killed or why he killed.

In his MV he is shown to have chased after his dog into a forest, seen something off-screen, then beaten something into a messy pulp with a rock. Some people think the dog is a red herring and that Haruka actually killed his mother/the girl from the fireworks show/his brother. I do not agree.

First: I believe Haruka when he says he doesn't have a brother. The MV literally starts by Haruka looking in the mirror and then switching between the him now

and a really similar looking younger child who just so happened to be a key feature of his memories (I don't have the vocabulary to explain it but its like cinematic parallels that establish this is the same person at different points of their life)

Its not impossible that this is Haruka's secret younger brother, but i think its unlikely. I saw someone saying they had to be different people because Haruka looks less happy than the child but like, most 17 year olds are less visibly happy than when they were 7 (or however old the child is meant to be). Life happens.

So when Haruka is shown pushing the child around and eventually strangling him, this isn't meant to be literal (homicide or suicide), but a representation of how conflicted Haruka feels about his younger self, who may have committed the murder (if you've ever been kept awake cringing at memories of something you said in the past and wishing you could go slap some sense into your former self, this is like that but 10 times more self loathing). The lyric "I am always repeating yesterday," implies he might think about this specific past event a lot.

Moving on, its pretty well accepted that Haruka's parents were abusive in some way and Haruka internalised a lot of it: he constantly apologises, he says in his interrogation questions that his one wish come true is that "[he] want[s] to be loved" and describes in his MV how when he couldn't find the words he was looking for ("you're unfair") one of his parents "would get angry at me and say “You’re hopeless.”". He seems to know its unfair but also still says he 'loves' his family, possibly mistakenly believing it is his fault, but also showing an awareness of his situation (and how his parents might behave).

Now, the MV is stylised in a way that makes certain details unclear, but there is one clear detail showing that Haruka's dog was killed

This is the first close up of Haruka and the dog. Haruka's mother is just out of frame supervising, but they look pretty happy. Notice how the puppy has a silvery chain for a collar. Somehow, this dog gets out of the house but only Haruka is shown chasing after it (whether his mother was searching elsewhere or didn't bother following her disabled son into the forest is unclear). Either way, young Haruka is now in the forest, unsupervised.

By the time he finds the dog, there is already blood, suggesting it was initally attacked by something else.

is this a sigh of relief from a boy whose finally found his beloved pet or a jealous weakling glad that nature took its course and he is finally free of that meddling mutt stealing all his mummy's attention? /j

I think this shock at the discovery that 'there is blood on his hands' could imply that rather than literally getting the blood from his dog, Haruka has seen his already injured dog and realises that if the dog got out because of him (he is previously shown to be aware his parents seem to blame him for everything) then he is the reason his dog is injured/dying and will be blamed for it. (this scene plays over the lyrics "It’s fine, though it’s really not It’s really fine, though I don’t really think so When I tried to understand it, You’ll make that disappointed face again" suggesting he is trying to avoid making his parents disappointed and letting the family pet escape into danger is something that could make them very disappointed)

now we get into rock murder (this is present-day Haruka implying that this is either: not how the scene really played out; the writers really wanting the audience to know that this was Haruka's doing and not someone else's; or this turns into a separate incident that happened much later [although note that the red sky and blue moon is the same as when young Haruka first appears at the start])

b the corpse is beyond mangled now, but its clearly the dog because the silver chain collar is still there, to the right of the body. (circled in red for your convenience :3)

My hypothesis is: Haruka didn't set out to kill his dog, but upon finding it injured (we don't know the severity aside from bleeding and also it not being able to run away from Haruka kneeling down above it w/ a big rock so it could range from treatable with a lot of vet help to already on death's door, TBH I don't think Haruka would know the difference) He knew he'd be blamed for this; made into a villain who let the poor puppy come to harm. He panicked and killed the dog out of some idea that it would make him the victim here (since he'd be found crying over a dog corpse, which might make a parent go comfort him rather than getting angry about what could've happened to the dog). This is over the lyrics: "I cried, I screamed I wanted to be a pitied and loved weakling I was in denial, I was in denial I just had to make sure I’ve become a victim, I’ve become a victim" (there's another theory that he was also jealous of the dog, which could work here too, since this is not some calculated plot; rather its a rash decision) This ties in with his Japanese song title (translated as Weakness) which is a play on a phrase sort of like "The strong eat, the weak do not" to become "The weak are eaten by society" or "The weak eat each other to survive" [once again I am reminding everyone this is based on second hand information from the youtube comments section (from users mitchki and Alphaistic) because I do not speak Japanese] This second meaning (The weak eat each other to survive) makes sense under the reading that Haruka killed his dog in order to 'survive' making his parents disappointed for the dog escaping.

Miscellaneous points:

We don't know where Haruka's necklace came from yet, it must be a gift since the most expensive thing he's ever bought was cotton candy. The younger child in the video isn't wearing it and neither is his mother or the girl in the purple dress.

Haruka's home seems quite big, at the start we can see a large flower garden outside the window and there's a forest in walking distance. This might suggest his family is quite wealthy

Haruka probably did go to school at some point as homeschooling is not a legally accepted as an alternative to public schools in Japan. (However it is estimated that up to 5000 families homeschool, this is uncommon) A lot (about 62%) of Japanese schools apparently have a 'special needs' classes and there are about 505 schools focused on educating intellectually disabled students (although I do not know which sort Haruka would've needed as whilst intellectual and development disabilities can be comorbid they aren't the same). Now, if children aged 7-14 don't go to school, their parents receive a fine, but its possible that if Haruka's parents are wealthy, they just paid it to avoid sending him to school. (This might imply they wanted to hide him or were generally ashamed of him in some way) However high school education (for students over 14) is not legally required and its likely that even if Haruka went to elementary/middle school, he hasn't been around people his own age in at least 3 years. As he seems quite lonely and glad that the other prisoners give him attention.

I don't think Haruka's parents are divorced and if they are, its not his father who left. Haruka mentions in the 30 questions that he thinks he disappointed his father. But still includes him as part of his family ("My father and mother and me"). A theory I've seen is that his father was disappointed by his son being disabled and left. but developmental disabilities (especially in non verbal and semi verbal children like Haruka) can be diagnosed before the age of 3, so I feel it is unlikely that Haruka would bring up his father if he left that early in Haruka's life

All MILGRAM prisoners have covered one of DECO*27's older vocaloid songs (DECO*27 is a well known producer who composes the music for MILGRAM) Haruka covered 'Two Breaths Walking' (https://youtu.be/puXLfVWrz2Q) which is about a boy's first relationship and how his mother's jealousy set him up for failure as the relationship becomes toxic (specifically it has some very funny out of context lines like "Whose breasts are you sucking on now?") so yeah, mommy issues: the song (Also: some people say in the song, the boy kills the girl at the end, but this isn't literal, TBW is the first of a trilogy of songs about the same relationship, it is followed by Android girl then Two Breaths Walking: Reloaded and the story resolves with the couple reuniting as adults and getting in the relationship again, although its not necessarily as abusive as before, its still implied to be codependant ending on the line 'We should live like oxygen tanks, sucking breathe from the words each of us exhale, until our last breathe')

In all seriousness, the scene where younger Haruka is walking through the city with his mother but it keeps repeating until older Haruka pulls the younger one away might indicate an attempt to focus the happier memories of his parents (since this is also over the lyrics "Why is it breaking? Tell me why? Please don’t change If I tried and couldn’t say it, You would get angry at me and say “You’re hopeless.”" which depict a worse scene) I think both his parents are still physically present but have become far more emotionally distant, not giving him as much attention, which exacerbates his loneliness from not having any friends his own age to talk to

And if one of his parents did leave? I think its likely his mother since she is shown disappearing out of his reach after the dog-incident (inferring she got angry/disappointed in Haruka anyway) This could also be where he got his necklace from: Its something his mother used to wear (although this is 100% a guess) and that's why its shown to be important to him

This one is just me, but i didn't realise until a rewatch that when Haruka is watching the younger him and the girl running together, the background has fireworks. Haruka mentions fireworks being a key memory to him so I wonder if this was one of the first/last times he got to make a friend...

On three separate occasions in the interrogation, Haruka mentions not liking animals. Despite this, he is depicted as sleeping with a rabbit plush and on his birthday art (I'd include that too but tumblr only allows 10 pictures per post, so here's a link) he is standing next to a giant blueberry and strawberry cake with two bunny themed biscuits at the side. Through my experiences of seeing Japanese fandom art on pixiv, sometimes rabbits are used to insinuate a character is cute and timid in fanart.

Meaningless details: Haruka sleeps with his necklace on; he sleeps on a bed and not a futon; at first I thought he woke up holding his plush's hand but his hand is merely next to the toy; and considering the state of the pillow and blanket, I wonder if he moves a lot in his sleep or if the is just because in this case he seems to be waking up from a nightmare about the dog incident...

Final note: I've spent so many hours writing this I don't remember if i was building up to any big finale or not but I hope you enjoyed reading this! Feel free to add on in the comments/reblogs.

[strawberry-car]

Can I request newt x reader, but the reader is the one who came up before newt and was like the 4th or 6th to arrive, and they are a runner runner with Minho, and just how they find newt and take care of him after he tried to killed himself but failed.

Sorry if that doesn't make sense I suck at words.

Don't worry, it makes perfect sense, hun. I can totally do this. Thank you lovely Anon for giving me something to do. I am very sorry if it sucks tho, love ya. Also, sorry this is late. I meant to get it out much sooner. Yo this fucking sucks.

Pairing: Next x GN! Reader

Warnings: Su1c!d3 attempt, gonna be lots of fluff don't worry little ones, this is probs gonna suck bc even tho I read the books and watched the movies many things are going to be out of line and the time line is gonna be fucked. Definetly before Thomas came obviously.

Genre: Fluff and Angst

Ack, good luck.

You stood fom inspecting something behind the vines that grew on the Maze walls and looked back at Minho. "What was it?" He asked. "Just another one of those WICKED things. Same as the others." You sighed, shaking your head.

"We should start heading back. Its getting late." You nod in reply and begin your route back to the Glade. "I wonder how Newt's doing. Since this is only his second run." You said. Minho rolled his eyes. "I'm still surprised that you didn't ask to run with him rather then me." He said teasingly.

You bumped his shoulder, throwing him slightly off balance. "I can't just not run with you. You'd get lost in here and become Griever food." You snickered. "Me getting lost? What about you?? Last run you took how many wrong turns?" You cringed. "Don't remind me. I embarrassed myself in front of Newt in the process.." You whined.

Minho opened his mouth to say something else but instead stoppes in his tracks. "Minho? Whats wrong-" Your words dried in your throat as you followed his gaze to the blonde boy that had climbed up the vines and looked as if he wanted to jump.

"Newt!" You wasted no time running to the wall he climbed. His head whipped around to look at you as he heard his name leave your mouth. His fingers let the vine go and his legs slipped off. He fell. Your scream bounced off the Maze.

~

When Newt opened his eyes, his body ached and his leg hurt like hell. He turned his head and saw you sitting next to the bed he was in with your fingers intertwined with his own. Your eyes were closed and tear tracks traced down your face.

He sqeezed your hand gently and your eyes shot open, looking at him with desperation and happiness. Your lower lip trembled and the tears began again. "Dont ever fucking do that again." You said sternly, the shake in your voice showing how worried you were.

"I- I'm.. I'm sorry, Y/N..." Newt whispered, avoiding your gaze. He tried to slip his hand out of yours but you only squeezed tighter. "You do not get to leave this bed until you are fully recovered. And you do not get to resist anything you are given, alright?" You told him. "And if I want to hold your hand, im going to hold your hand because you scared the shit out of me. God you're a dick. I like you way to much for you to leave so soon." You hugged him tightly.

Newt's eyes widened slightly and slowly hugged you back. "Sorry.." He muttered. "I am going to take care of you for however long it takes. Minho is going to kill me because he's down two runners but I don't care I am staying with you." You said, grabbing his face in your hands and forcing him to meet your gaze. "Okay?" He hesitated before nodding. "Okay." You gave him a quick kiss to the forehead and smiled. "Good. Now, I am going to go get us some lunch. Be right back!"

You left to go get lunch and Newt stared after you. He couldn't stop the smile that appeared on his face.

(My dear Anon this the end but if you would like more feel free to ask for more. I do hope you liked this and that it lived up to your expectations. If it didnt i sincerely apologize for wasting your time.)

[death-fears-by-deaf-ears]

swan lake || t.h.

pairing: tom holland x reader

summary: you can't stand tom holland, the guy in your ballet ensemble. But when you two get the roles of Odette and the prince, you two will have to put your differences aside and learn to work with each other.

word count: 2.5k

warnings: language

chapter one

Not again.

This was starting to become a recurring theme - it was Monday and your bus had just left without you. You mumbled profanities under your breath, your duffle bag slung across your shoulder. Frustrated you slumped against a street lantern, when you felt the first drops of rain on your skin. You let out a groan of anger and pulled your hood up over your head, cursing yourself for staying up too late last night. But because you anticipated this, you had already put on your leotard and tights on at home, so when you got to class you’d only have to strip your clothes and start your warm up.

Last week you had gotten whacked on the head with a newspaper for being that late, but with a little bit of luck you wouldn’t have to endure that today.

When you arrived in the ballet studio almost an hour later you were soaked and freezing. You ran through the halls of the studio, already in the process of taking off your jacket and shirt, revealing your dancing clothes underneath. Three minutes left to go.

Your usual locker was already occupied, making you rush to the next best one, ripping the door open, throwing all your clothes in there and only taking your training ballerinas out and slamming the door shut. You had done your hair in the bus already, so it was in a low tight knot. You put your shoes on, running toward the door. One minute left.

“How kind of you to join us today on time,” Sophie, your dance teacher said, following you with her eyes as you took your position. Everyone in the room was staring at you and you could feel their looks drilling in your back. Tom next to you was bowing his head down, obviously trying to hide his laughter. You shot him a poisonous look, rage as well as embarrassment burned inside you. Tom had a special power of making your anger levels go from 0 to 100.

“I’m sorry, ma’am,” you said, your face running hot.

“Let’s start with the warm up, shall we?”

“Why is everyone whispering and staring at me,” you whispered through gritted teeth to your friend Hannah, who was helping you stretch. “Ouch!”

“Loosen up,” Hannah whispered, pulling you even closer to her. You were sitting in front of each other on the floor, pushing the others’ legs out. “Haven’t you seen the role sheet today?”

“Fuck,” you whispered, partially because of the stretch, but also because you had forgotten that today the roles for the upcoming show were published. You must’ve not seen the sheet in the locker rooms. “What role did I get?”

Hannah shook her head as you pulled her towards you, adjusting her pose. “You got the role of Odette.”

You immediately let go of Hannah, slapping your hand on your mouth, making her fall forward. You grabbed her shoulders. “I got the main role?” You whisper-screamed, trying your hardest not to get caught by Sophie. “Well, who is playing the prince?”

Hannah cringed and turned her gaze to the side, where a few of your colleagues were standing. Instead of stretching they were very obviously flirting with… Tom. He must’ve noticed you staring at him, as he turned his head and met your gaze. Both of you rolled your eyes as you turned away from each other. “You can’t be serious,” you said.

“I’m sorry,” Hannah huffed, sweat pearling on her dark forehead. “But hey, congrats on the role?”

You finished stretching and continued with your training, going through forms and positions, polishing your moves and getting scolded for flailing your arms too much. As you were approaching your first break, Sophie stepped towards you.

“We will begin with your training for Swan Lake today at 3, make sure to bring your pointe shoes.”

“Yes, ma’am,” you said, your heart fluttering at the idea of dancing to your favourite show. The fluttering quickly vanished when you noticed Sophie walking up towards Tom, telling him the same. So you’d already dance with him today.

You tried to shake the bad feeling and it mostly worked, since focusing on your dream always made things easier. Dancing and performing was a way for you to let go, to get completely lost in the story and think about nothing else. There wasn’t much in the world that could ruin that for you.

Oh how wrong you had been.

“I have never seen people with less chemistry than you two,” Sophie sighed. You have never heard her be this exasperated and desperate. “Do you two even dance? Are you really professional dancers? Where did your grace go, where did the love for dance go! Look each other in the eyes for God’s sake!”

“It’d be easier if you didn’t squeeze the hell out of me,” you spat through gritted teeth.

“It’d be easier if you weren’t this heavy,” Tom spat back, his face falling immediately after he realized what he had said.

You jumped out of his grip, staring in disbelief. “Well-” you stammered, not knowing what to retort. “How about you get a little stronger…”

Sophie whacked him with her newspaper over the head. “That is NOT something you say to a lady!” Tiny strands of hair were escaping her neat bun, making her look even more stressed than she was. “We’re finishing this part today and then you two can go home.”

“Sorry,” Tom mumbled under his breath.

“Save it,” you said, taking your start position. Kneeling down on the floor, Odette would wait for the prince to come and lift her up to start the dance with her. In the original the two would fall in love the minute they laid eyes on each other. You tried to do the choreography justice, although your dance partner made it incredibly difficult for you.

“Smile!” Sophie shouted, making you two put on fake plastic grins.

“I’ll spit on your face on stage,” you said through your grin as Tom lifted you up, making you look down on him.

"Do that and I'll rip your lashes off," he said softly while lowering you on the ground again.

You tried to continue the choreography without any incidents but you couldn't help but feel every step, every nudge to be executed with a hint of passive aggression. Tom basically let you fall on the ground instead of putting you down, you avoided each other's eyes, grabbed too harshly, turned too sharply.

"Alright," Sophie said after about four hours of it. "I can't watch this any longer. You both know the choreography, and that's all I can teach you for now. If you don't know how to be nice to each other, don't bother coming to me for help until you do. We'll work on the solos and the other dances first, until you two calmed down. Dismissed."

You slumped down on the floor, rubbing your face. You untied your shoes and took them off, throwing them in your bag. This was going to be hard.

“So how was it?” Hannah asked while the two of you sat on the studio floor.

As an answer you slammed your pointe shoes on the ground several times, breaking them in a way that made them comfortable for your foot. “Take a wild guess.”

She raised her eyebrows as she was sewing the elastic band into her shoe. “What did Sophie say?”

“She refuses to work with us anymore until we get it together,” you grumbled. You slammed your fist on the top of your shoe, softening the box. Suddenly the door opened, making you and Hannah turn your heads.

Tom was marching in the room, directly towards you.

“What the hell,” you mumbled, putting your shoe down and looking up at him as he stopped in front of you. “Can I help you?”

“Are you free today after class?”

You raised an eyebrow, looking at him up and down and smirked. “Are you asking me out?”

Tom crossed his arms, not saying anything. His foot was tapping impatiently on the floor which was tiled with dancing tiles.

“Yeah, I am. See you then,” you said, rolling your eyes. You waved as a good bye, signalling him to leave you alone. You turned to Hannah. “He told me I was too heavy to lift.” “Excuse me?” You shrugged, taking the thread and the needle. Your friend slapped her hands on her thighs in exasperation. “What an ass.”

You finished sewing and breaking in your shoes while talking about anything other than Tom - mostly Hannah’s new date she was going to see that very day. It was nice talking about something else, preparing yourself for class. You could feel that today was going to be a slow one - you eased into your shoes, then into your stretches, and finally into your training, testing out the waters with your new footwear and getting more comfortable as the day progressed. Your mind was empty, completely free of oppressive and depressing thoughts. Your body moved in unison with the music, following the tides of the melody, back and forth seemingly weightless and freed of gravity.

Before you knew it afternoon rolled around and class finished. You packed your stuff, and settled down in the locker room to have some lunch and lie down, coming down from your training.

As always your lunch break went by way too fast. You stood up, shaking your limbs and grabbing your things to go back to the now empty studio. Tom was nowhere to be found, so you warmed quickly up on your own. Your body had cooled down a bit, and you didn’t want to pull a muscle or something, so you did a few squats, jumping jacks and push ups to get moving again. You took your position at the railing in front of the mirror, practicing positions and movements, taking your sweet time. The clock ticked in the back of the room, showing 3.16pm. Where the hell was Tom?

At that moment the door swung open.

“Took you long enough,” you said in an arabesque pose.

“Sorry,” he said, getting in and throwing his duffle bag in the corner of the room.

You put your foot down, looking at him properly. You raised your eyebrows at his childish demeanor. You were already annoyed by him. “Bad day?”

He plonked down on the floor and began to put on his shoes. “I just want this day to be over.”

“Well then cheer up, do you expect me to dance with an energy as bad as yours?”

He looked at you incredulously. “Can’t I be in a bad mood? Do I have to be all sunshine and daisies all the time?” His voice rose now, making you back away a little, but you weren’t having none of that. You had an idea.

“I just said to lose the fucking attitude,” you said, getting louder now as well.

“What if i don’t want to?! God, you’re annoying!”

You took a deep breath putting force in your voice. “Then scream it out, because I don’t want to deal with this!” His hands turned into fists, his eyes lighting up a tiny little bit at the memory your words just triggered. But he was still angry. “Fuck you!”

“No, fuck YOU!”

And without a cue you two just started wordlessly screaming in the other’s face, a prolonged and agonizing scream, throwing it all out. Dancing didn’t require vocal chords, so you had no qualms absolutely shredding yours. You didn’t know if anyone else was in the building, but you didn’t care.

As you two ran out of breath your shoulders slumped, moving heavily up and down as you gasped for air. The room was awfully quiet except for your breathing. Your bodies seemed to mirror each other, more in sync than when you tried to be. Destruction seemed to be more constructive to the relationship between you two than anything else.

You swallowed, standing up straight. “Can we start now?”

Again you were on the floor, folded over in your starting position. You had decided to train without music, so you jumped a little as Tom’s hands touched your wrists, softer than usual. He lifted you up off the floor, placing his hands on your waist. This dance wasn’t particularly difficult or demanding, but for it to work you need a prince who guides Odette just enough without gripping her too tight, and an Odette who knows how much to rely on the prince and how much on herself. There were a few hang ups here and there, but you danced through the whole routine without saying anything once, enjoying the flow of your movements. The dance was still clinical, mostly about getting the order of the moves right. It ended with Tom lifting you up, and slowly lowering you down, and bringing your faces together, hinting at a kiss between you two. You still needed to work on that part.

“So,” he said as you jumped away as the dance ended. “With music this time?”

You nodded. “Maybe don’t grip me this tight when I do the pirouettes,” you said. You took a sip of water and put the bottle away. “I can basically do them on my own, just give me a quick spin and I’ll be able to do them faster.”

“Alright,” he said, getting into position. “But try to do your moves independently from me. It’ll make them look better.”

You folded over on the floor and waited for the music to start. When it started you closed your eyes for a second anticipating the touch on your wrists. Still it sent a jolt through you. “Softer,” you said as you did your pirouette, and the grip on your waist turned to a fleeting touch every few moments, accelerating your turns.

“Lean in properly,” Tom said as you leaned in his hands to the side to lift your leg. You did as told and managed to lift your leg even higher and with less effort. He lifted you by the waist, brows furrowed the slightest in concentration, turning in a circle. Your hands rested on his shoulders, eyes trained on him. You wondered if Odette really fell in love with the prince on sight.

The routine went smoother with each time you tried it, your movements dynamic and easy like a well oiled machine.

After a while you decided to call it a day, and after you awkwardly said your goodbyes, you went home. Suddenly you didn’t know how to act around him, everything you did felt clumsy and weird. You were used to being annoyed by him and just being generally mad at him. But now that you had to cooperate and put those things aside, what was left?

a.n.: this is the first chapter of maybe two or three, lmk what you think! this is the first time i post to tungle, be kind lmfao

[crashdevlin]

Another Second Chance 17- Everything Changes

Another Second Chance Masterlist, Happily Ever Eventually Masterlist

Author’s Note: The final (hopefully) installment of the Happily Ever Eventually RPF series.

Summary: Y/n and Danneel talk which forces Y/n to share a bit of truth with Nova.

Pairing: Jensen x Reader

Word count: 2934

Story Warnings: past cheating, Nova is not nice to Danneel, Nova is a very protective daughter

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Danneel looks a little shocked. Not like she’s shocked to see me, but maybe that she’s shocked that I didn’t run away and hide. She shakes herself out of it and smiles back at me. “Hey, sweetie. I guess we had to run into each other eventually, didn’t we?”

I nod and look back toward the dressing rooms. “Yeah. Austin’s big, but not that big.” I feel a bit uncomfortable as I gesture at the dresses. “I’m getting Nova some nice stuff for the Out Youth Gala.”

“Oh, yeah.” She nods and fiddles with her purse strap. Seems she’s just as uncomfortable. “Jensen mentioned he was taking her. I told him I’d stay home for this one.”

"You don't have to sit it out. You could still-"

"It'd be pretty tense. Jensen and I haven't been able to be around each other for more than a few minutes at a time in...well, in years.” Well, that’s a confirmation of Jensen’s words that I never thought I’d get. “Besides...a young bi girl, she deserves to rub elbows with those people. I’ve already met most of them.”

“Thanks for...giving it up this year.” I want to rub the back of my neck. I want to hug myself. I want to tug on my hair a bit. I’m tense and I don’t like feeling like this. I don’t, though. I keep my smile and I stay polite. I learned this a long time ago.

“Of course, sweetie.” God, that makes me cringe.

“Can you…” How do I say this without sounding rude? “Not call me that?”

She nods, understanding immediately. “Sorry. Default. I…” She runs her fingers through her hair and lets out a soft scoff. “I’m not really good at this. I should have just walked back out when I saw you.”

“No, no, that’s…” I sigh. “This is awkward. For both of us. Last time we talked, I was so angry and sad and-”

“And now you’ve got Jensen back and everything is coming up for you.”

That hits a little bitter.

“Danneel...I…” I scoff and shake my head, crossing my arms over my chest.  “The fact that I’m with Jensen again has nothing to do with the upward mobility of my existence...and, you know, I’m sorry that you and Jay didn’t work out, but I stepped out after you got caught together. You had five years to get him back and make things work.”

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that." She shakes her head. "No, well, I guess a little. I just always thought one day he'd stop pining over you and come home." Guess she's still in love. Jensen just isn't a man who's easy to get over, is he? "Guess that was wishful thinking."

"I tried, Dee. I told him...I told you. I stepped back at every opportunity so that I wouldn't ever be in the way of your love."

"I know. From the very beginning, you tried to stay out of the way but we didn't really want that."

I roll my eyes. "You both wanted to have your cake and eat it but that's not how the world works." Not my world, anyway. "That Happy Family Fantasy? I talked myself into that. I tried to be what would have made you and Jensen happiest, but I couldn't do it. Trying hurt me. That single night that ruined everything…and when I realized that it wouldn't ever work with me and him and you, I stepped away, just like I stepped away when I realized my involvement with him was harming your marriage. I did everything I could to make sure you didn't lose him and-"

"What do you think of this one, Mum?" Nova's voice stops me and I turn toward the dressing room. She looks gorgeous...and angry. "What's she doing here?"

"It's a free country, Nova. She can shop where she likes." I clear my throat, try to get the bitterness out of my voice. "Genevieve is the one who introduced me to this shop. I assume that she-"

"I expected Gen to have better taste in friends."

"Not the time for the attitude," I snap at her.

"I don't have an attitude." She crosses her arms over her chest.

"Yes, you do and you need to stop."

"I just don't understand why you're standing there, talking to the woman who ruined your relationship with Jensen last time. You can't just-"

"It's more complicated than all that, sweetie." Don't talk, Danneel. She's already about to go into fight mode.

"It's not," Nova practically growls. "It's not complicated. He was dating my mother and you were caught shoving your tongue down his throat. That's crappy but it's not complicated!"

"Nova. Stop!" Mom Voice better work. I don’t want anything to show up on TMZ about a fight between my daughter and Danneel in the middle of a damn dress shop.

"No!" She did not just stomp her foot and-  "What, you think that just because you let Jensen fuck around with her while you were married to him that she has to be okay with him fucking around with you?"

My eyes go wide as she leans forward, trying to intimidate Dee. My heart starts pounding and I step between them, look up into my daughter's eyes. "Go get your clothes back on. Right fucking now."

"But, Mum!"

"I don't know who you think you are right now, little girl, but I am your mother and you're going to listen. Go. Get. Changed."

She stomps as she heads back to the dressing room. My heart is still going a mile a minute as I turn back to Danneel. "I'm...sorry about her. She...thinks she knows things and she...does know some things and she's protective and…" I scratch at my brow. "She doesn't want to see me break again."

"None of us do, swee-...Y/n. She's not wrong to be upset at me. Jensen's still upset at me about it."

I shake my head. "No, he's not. Did he never explain to you…" He really doesn't talk to her anymore. "It's not that he's mad at you, Danneel. He couldn’t come back because he had to change. He had to stop being the man that would ruin his life over selfish desires. You were...you were a constant reminder of what that old man had done. He couldn’t come back...not on his own, anyway." I don't know why that last thought escapes but it does.

"What do you mean?" she asks.

"Did you try to get him back?" I don't know why I'm asking this. Why do I care? "You asked me five years ago if Jensen wasn't worth fighting for. Did you fight for him? Or did you just sit at home, hoping he'd crawl back to you eventually? Did you fight?"

Because if she fought, if she tried, and he didn’t come back, that means he's really done with her. He really became a different man and he doesn't need or want her. He became a different man who just wants me.

"Are we leaving?" Nova asks as she hooks the hangers on the closest rack and approaches with her arms still crossed over her chest.

"Yeah. Grab the blue dress you tried on, take it to the register." She rolls her eyes and grabs the dress, walking toward the till.

"It was nice talking to you, Danneel." I start walking away to go pay for No's dress, but Danneel's voice stops me.

"I did fight. I tried. He wouldn't hear it." I look at her over my shoulder. "He was too caught up in the liquor and the loss." She tucks her hair behind her ear and gives a sad smile. "I fought for him. I lost him anyway."

I hate to acknowledge the elation I'm feeling, but it's there. He’s really mine. He's really mine and I won’t have to worry about her stealing his heart.

"I'm sorry, Danneel." It's all I can think to say. I know that losing Jensen couldn't have been easy. I walked away and it wasn't easy to lose him.

"I'm sorry, sweetie. I never should have-"

"Things were complicated. They're less complicated now."

She nods. "For you."

Shit, I can't feel guilty about this. "Yes. Things are less complicated for me. I hope things get better for you." I head for the register and I pay for Nova's dress. Danneel is gone from the shop by the time we turn around to leave.

"Mum, I'm sorry, I-" Nova starts as we walk toward the car.

"Shut up."

She scoffs angrily. "That’s so rude!"

"Get in the car," I demand, tossing her dress in the back.

"Mum! I said I was-"

"And I said 'Shut up'." I drop into the driver's seat and wait for her to get in and shut her door. "First off, how fucking dare you say any words out of my mouth are rude with the way you spoke to Danneel in there? How dare you try to lecture your mother on how to speak to you when you obviously don't know how to speak to a woman who you probably don’t remember meeting and who did absolutely nothing to harm you.”

She opens her mouth to argue, but I keep talking. “I am fucking mortified that you would talk to her like that. You don’t know her. You met her once when we brought your little brother home from Vegas and you have no right to talk to her like that. She might not deserve your fucking respect, but I am not raising a disrespectful little brat. You can have your opinions and you can even voice them but you have no right to make her feel like shit about something that she’s been hammered about and called a homewrecker about for five fucking years. You wanna be a feminist, you wanna lift women up? You don’t fucking attack them for a mistake she made in the past. She fucked up and hurt me but you don’t even know the extent of it, because you are my daughter. You are not my manager, my bodyguard, or my fucking knight in armor, Nova. You are my daughter and I love you for trying to protect me, but I had that interaction handled and I didn’t need you flying off the handle at her. You weren’t even that bad with Jensen and he did worse than she did!”

She’s got tears in her eyes...and I feel bad for hurting her feelings, but...I’m right. She went too far.

“And while this is not something I ever thought I’d be talking to you about, you seem to think you know something about something so I’ll tell you that it doesn’t matter that Danneel and Jensen had an open marriage because that wasn’t what muddled everything up at the end and made them so bold as to be fucking around with each other while I was in Vancouver.”

“What? You--did something...happen before that?”

Again, not a conversation I thought I would be having with her...definitely not a conversation I’m going to have with her when she’s in trouble. “Doesn’t matter right now. What matters right now is that you’re fuckin’ grounded until the Gala. No electronics.”

“What?!” she exclaims indignantly.

“Yeah and if you don’t take your punishment gracefully, I’ll extend it past the Gala, too. You’ll get one night and then you’ll be grounded again. You want that?”

“No,” she grumbles. Me either, No. I hate being the bad guy...but I’ve always been better at it than Nate.

"When we get home, I want you to gather up your laptop, game consoles, and the cable box for your TV and put them in the garage. You can read a few books for entertainment."

"Okay." She sounds so dejected but...it’s what I have to do to get the point across.

"Good."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I’ll talk to Dee,” Jensen volunteers. “I’m sure she’s not-”

I shake my head. “I just can’t believe Nova went so vicious...and I think I’m going to have to tell her what happened back then.”

“You don’t have to. She doesn’t have to know.”

“She doesn’t have to know. But...she knows enough to be judgmental and-” What if she judges me afterward? What if she judges me for pressuring myself? What if she decides that I was in the wrong? What if she thinks it wasn’t cheating because we had a three-way, even though they both knew I didn’t want them together without me? “It’s better if I’m honest with her. If she decides to hold the threesome against me, then that’s...well, that’s her prerogative, but I think it’s better for everyone if she knows the truth.”

“You want me there?” he offers and I bite my bottom lip. I’d love to have the support, but…

“No. I think it’d be a better conversation for just me and her. She’s still kinda defensive around you.”

“Okay. Let me know how it goes, okay?”

“Yeah, I will. Tell Dee I’m sorry.”

“I will. I love you, Baby Girl.”

“Love you, too, Jay.”

I hang up the phone and head for the kitchen. I make a cup of coffee and sit at the table to drink it. I start running through ways this conversation can go, pieces of dialogue in a story. The conversations never really go like they do in my head. But I rehearse them anyway.

I finish my coffee and head up the stairs to her room. I knock. She groans and calls me to come in. I walk in and sit on the edge of her bed. She’s slouching in the bean bag chair in the corner, a book in her grasp. “When I got together with Jensen the first time, he was still married. I know you know that.” I look up at her ceiling. “Danneel agreed to an open marriage...but Jensen fucked it up. He fell in love with me. So, I left. I started dating Tom.” She makes a disgusted sound, but I keep talking. “You know this. Whatever post or article you read, you know this, but you don’t know that I started hanging with Danneel after Tom tried to rape me. We got drunk and I kissed her.”

Nova’s eyes go wide. “I was shocked when I did it, too...and I immediately told Jay. I felt so guilty and confused and...as soon as I told him, he decided that I needed to sleep with her.” I lick my lips. “He was a bit selfish back then. Pretty much very selfish back then...and he wanted both of us again. He admitted to it...that he pushed for me and her to sleep together. I couldn’t...but he really wanted it, us together...so Danneel and I came up with an idea...all three of us together.”

“You slept with both of them?” she asked, her voice a bit squeaky and very judgemental.

“Just once. I woke up the morning after and I couldn’t...I couldn’t deal. I felt dirty. I’d pressured myself into doing something just for Jay and Dee and it was bad. It was bad for me. Dr. McCauliffe told me that I should tell them how it made me feel, but I couldn’t. Disappointing them was something I couldn't do. I probably would have convinced myself to do it again eventually...and it would have broken me even further. I would have let it happen because I didn’t care about my mental health. I cared about them."

I'm afraid to look at her. Is she judging me? Is she disgusted?

"They both knew I didn’t want them touching each other. Not without me. But they both knew that I was unlikely to let it happen again...that I was having trouble with the first time and it was going to be an issue to do it again. That's why they...did what they did. They didn't think they'd get caught. They didn't think it would destroy me if they did."

"That’s worse!" she exclaims and I look over at her. She looks livid. "They knew you were falling apart!"

I rub at the back of my neck and nod. "Yeah, but they really wanted-"

"What you wanted didn’t matter? What you deserved? I can't believe them!"

"There’s a reason I had to end it all, why I had to get five years of distance. There's a reason why Jensen had to become a whole new man." I lick my lips and sigh. "They both betrayed me, Nova. They hurt me and it's taken five years to get us all okay and that's why I can't abide the way you talked to Danneel, because she lost everything too. She was selfish and horrible and she lost everything over it. She doesn't need a teenage girl giving her all this attitude over it."

She looks away and scratches at the back of her hand. "She deserved it."

"You don't get to make that determination." I lean forward and take her hand in mine. "I know that my mental break and breakup hurt you, No, but I'm the one they betrayed. I'm the one they broke...and I've decided to forgive."

"But-"

"But nothing. They've changed. I've changed. Things are better. Do you understand?"

She looks down and sighs. "I understand."

I pat her hand and stand. "You're still in trouble. But I love you, Nova."

"I love you, too."

~~~

The Kitchen Sink - @emoryhemsworth @flamencodiva @wasabiwitteks @rainbowkisses31 @rissbennett @mariekoukie6661 @officiallyunofficialperson @dolphincliffs @mrs-meghan-winchester @gayspacenerd @foxyjwls007 @ilovefanfic86 @marvelfansworld @f-yeahfandoms @wonderlandfandomkingdom @hhiggs @sev3nruby @hobby27 @paintballkid711 @divadinag @thewhiterabbit42 @fantasymyth-1 @queenoftheunderdark @cosicas-cuquis @superfanficnatural @letsby @supernatural-bellawinchester @onethirstyunicorn @swinchester27 @chalicia @screechingartisancashbailiff @death-unbecomes-you @dayasvalkyrie @paryl @wereallbrokenangels @the-american-witch @that-one-gay-girl @tatted-trina6 @sunshineandwings86 @lunarmoon8 @wheezyeds @vicmc624 @couldabeenamermaid @vulgar-library

[yourlocalfictionalenthusiast]

IN LIFE, IN DEATH...

PART FOUR

Pt1, Pt2, Pt3

Warnings: fighting with parents and some swearing

---

The bright sunlight hit your eyes and you squinted a little as your feet hit the driveway.

Julie’s song was still playing through your head, and so was your conversation with her last night. The passion in her voice when she sang was the same as when she talked about her mom.

You wanted to run in and comfort her somehow, but Luke seemed insistent on staying outside, making Alex grumble next to you.

“Dude, why did you stop me? Julie needs a hug.”

“A ghost hug is not the feel-good moment you think it is. Trust me.” Luke said. What Julie needs is some privacy.”

“I think you poofed us out because you can’t handle when other people cry.” Alex waved his finger in Luke’s face, making you frown at his words.

It wasn’t a secret that Luke wasn’t the best with feelings, but he had always been there for you. Last night in the darkroom, and again at the diner, and countless other times.

“I should know,” Alex continued, gesturing between Luke and Reggie. “I cried in a room for 25 years, and I didn’t get a single hug from either of you.”

Reggie sighed, opening his arms. “Bring it in.”

“Don’t touch me!”

“This is why no one but (Y/n) hugs you.” Reggie mumbled as you rubbed Alex’s arm.

“Okay.” Luke interrupted. “So, once we get the courage to go in there, we should ask Julie why she lied about playing the piano.”

Alex shrugged. “And maybe tell her how amazing she is?”

You nodded and Reggie exclaimed. “She’s legit! I got ghost-bumps.”

Just then, the gate leading to the house swung open and a girl made her way down the pavement. As she got closer, you could hear her sobbing quietly.

“Oh no, was she crying too?” You asked as the girl entered the garage.

“Yes!” Luke shivered. “We definitely can’t go in there.”

“No, but we can listen.” Reggie ran towards the door, standing on his tip-toes to peek through the window.

“Guys! We can’t eavesdrop, that’s creepy!” You whispered, but the boys ignored you and crowded the door.

Seconds later, they all ducked to avoid being seen and you couldn’t help but be curious. So you ran over and squeezed yourself between Luke and Alex.

“I’m not okay!” The other girl shouted. “You got kicked out of music! I’ve been up all night thinking about what I was gonna say, and I might’ve had seven sodas but I need to get this out.”

“Flynn-” Julie started but Flynn shook her head and started ranting.

“Jules, if you leave the music program, we’ll be apart forever. Sure, we’ll see each other in the hallway sometimes but we’ll make new friends.”

“That’s not true.” Julie said.

“You’re right, I won’t make any new friends. The only time we’ll contact each other is by liking each other’s posts on Instagram. Every time I hit that little heart, mine will be breaking because my best friend left me.”

“What’s Instagram?“ Alex whispered to you. You shrugged, making a mental note to ask Julie later.

Julie sighed. “I just played piano and sang again.”

“What? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I was trying but then your seven sodas kicked in.” Julie laughed.

Flynn squealed. “I’m so happy for you! Look at you, looking all alive again. What made you play again?”

Julie slid her mom’s song across the piano to show Flynn and you couldn’t help but smile. You obviously hadn’t known Julie for long, but you were so happy that she reconnected with her mom and music.

“I was so scared to play it, cause everything having to do with music reminds me of her. But I woke up this morning, realizing that’s exactly why I should play it. To keep her memory alive.”

“We need to tell Mrs. Harrison that you can play so you can stay in the music program. My girl’s back! Double Trouble lives again.”

“Not our band name.” Julie laughed as the girls started walking out of the garage.

“Shit, she’s coming!” You whispered. “Act natural.”

You and Reggie sank to the floor, Luke leaned on his arm and Alex pretended to inspect the light hanging above you. Julie made eye contact with you and smiled.

“Oh, hey!”

Flynn turned around and watched Julie expectantly. Julie laughed awkwardly and started skipping down the driveway.

“Let’s hustle!” She grabbed Flynn’s arm and started walking up the stairs, waving goodbye.

“We weren’t listening!” Reggie said, earning a pinch on the arm from you and a kick to the ankle from Luke. Julie started swatting the air, trying to play it off like there was a bug, and pushed Flynn up the stairs.

As soon as she was gone, you made your way back into the garage. You sat at the piano bench, mindlessly playing the few chords you knew.

“I wonder why Julie didn’t tell us she could shred on the piano.” Reggie said.

“It probably has something to do with her mom.” You guessed, your fingers gliding across the keys.

“Yeah, that must’ve been hard.” Alex added before climbing up to the loft. “I really feel for her.”

“Yeah, but now she’s got music back in her life. Just like us.” Luke said, reaching over and hitting the note next to your finger.

“Yeah, I’m not sure you can call what we have a life.” Alex said and you snorted. “Hey, I think some of our old clothes are up here.”

He threw down a black trash bag filled with clothes and you sighed in relief. The night you died, you wore a plain pair of jeans, and your favorite old t-shirt of your dad’s. You usually wore one when you played a gig, so that a part of him could be with you in some way and of course; Luke’s jacket.

And as much as you loved your outfit, being in the same clothes for 25 years was not exactly sanitary, even by ghost standards.

“Sweet!” Luke exclaimed, taking off his shirt.

Shit!

You tried as subtly as possible to look away before anyone saw the blush on your cheeks, and you thought you had gotten away with it until Reggie laughed from across the room.

You sent him a glare, but that only made him laugh harder.

Suddenly, the studio doors opened again and Julie’s dad came in. He had a sad look on his face and a camera in his hands. It had ‘Ray Molina’ engraved on the handle so you figured that was his name.

The man walked right through Reggie, making him shudder. “That was weird. But somehow I can tell this man has a kind heart.”

“So, how have you been?” Ray asked, his voice heavy.

“Honestly, not that good.” Reggie said and you rolled your eyes. “See, we ate these hotdogs and-”

“Julie sang for the first time again this morning.” Ray took a picture of the room. “She hasn’t done that in almost a year. You would’ve loved it.”

“Yeah, we heard cause we-.” Reggie wiggled his fingers in front of Ray’s face. “Oh, I get it. He's not talking to us."

"Dude, you are so lucky you play bass." Luke said.

"I think he's talking to Julie's mom." Alex sighed.

Ray started walking towards the piano. "She's such an amazing young woman."

He started running his hands on the keys so you slid off the bench. You knew you definitely shouldn't be listening, this was definitely not something you weren't meant to hear but you couldn't help your curiosity. "Everyday she reminds me more and more of you."

"Called it!" Alex cheered.

Ray shifted the camera between his hands. "I'm taking pictures for the real estate website. I don't really wanna move, but...it's what's best for Julie."

Alex came down from the loft and you all crowded around the piano. Luke stared at Ray with wide eyes. "Move?"

Ray gently played a few notes of a ballad before he spoke again. "There's so many memories out here. Like, Julie sitting next to you and Carlos trying to sing with his missing front teeth."

Luke let out a shaky breath and you realized he was crying. It wasn’t until a tear rolled down your cheek that you realized that you were too. You frantically wiped your eyes, doing your best not to break down.

Ray was exactly what you always pictured your dad used to be like, and his love for Julie was exactly the same kind you knew he would've had for you. Thinking about your dad made you think about your mom, and that made trying to stop crying a whole lot harder.

"Come on guys, not you too." Reggie said.

"It's just...he's talking about moving but the poor guy doesn't wanna move." Luke sniffled.

Ray stood up and took a picture of right where you were all standing. "It's like they grew up out here."

Reggie fanned his face. "Now he's got me too."

Alex scoffed. "Okay, how am I the emotional one?"

"Can we go see my family? See how they're doing?" Reggie asked, his voice shaking a little.

You nodded. “Yeah, listening to this doesn’t feel right.”

Just as you go to leave, Ray laughs. "Remember when the kids were at your sisters and we came out here on our anniversary..."

"Yeah, no! " Luke cringed. "Definitely wrong.”

-

The beach was where you spent a lot of your free time when you were alive.

Usually after a long day when you just needed a place to work on new lyrics in peace. But sometimes after playing all day at the pier, the boys would drag you down to the water and you would all stay there as long as possible. Away from parents and responsibilities.

But just like everything else, it had changed so much.

"A bike shack," Reggie sighed. "Right where my house used to be."

"I'm sorry, Reg." You rested your head on Reggie’s shoulder.

"Why couldn't they at least have turned it into something cool like a pizzeria or something?"

"They tore down the whole neighborhood." Alex said.

"I guess my folks are gone."

Alex kicked his foot into the sand. "Everyone's gone. Twenty-five years, gone. Friends, family, Bobby, everyone."

That was another person you hadn't wanted to let yourself think about. Even though you and Bobby weren't super close, he was still a part of Sunset Curve. He could be a little bit of an asshole sometimes but he was still your friend.

"Bobby, that's right." Reggie said. "Guess that vegetarian lucked out. Wonder what happened to him?"

"He probably just got old like everyone else and moved on." Luke grumbled.

"Dude, how are you so chill about all of this?”

“Yeah, don’t you want to figure out what happened?” You asked.

“Let’s be real for a second.” Luke exhaled, clearly getting worked up. “It’s not like any of us were close to our families. My parents always regretted buying me that guitar. Reggie, your parents were literally a fight away from divorce.” 

Luke ran a hand through his hair as he ranted, talking with his hands the way he always did when he was upset. “Alex, I- Your parents were never cool again after you told them you were gay.”

His eyes landed on you and he seemed to ease up a little. “(Y/n), you practically raised yourself since your mom was gone all the time.”

“Yeah, okay.” You said. “None of us had it great.”

“But at least we had something! What do we have now?” Alex shouted. “And before you say cool teleportation, I’m not cool with that either. It tingles. In weird places.”

Luke sprang to his feet. “I’ll tell you what he had. It’s what we’ve had since the day we came together. Guys, we have us. We’re the only family we’re ever gonna need. You wanna know what else we got?”

“I’m gonna guess death breath?” Reggie said.

“Our music, you dork.” Luke laughed. “People can hear us play again! They can’t see us, whatever, but they can feel us. I wish I had my guitar.”

Suddenly, the air around you made a sharp ‘whoosh’ sound and Luke’s six-string appeared in his hands.

“Whoa.” You said.

“How did you do that?” Reggie asked.

“I-I don’t know. I mean I wished for it and then...” Luke played a few chords and beamed.

Reggie jumped in place with his arms open, trying to wish for random things before he eventually gave up and slumped into the sand.

“I think I know what will cheer you up.” Luke said. He played the opening of ‘This Band Is Back’ and you couldn’t help but smile. Out of all the Sunset Curve songs, this was one of your favorites.

“Come on, Reginald.” Alex said as he started hitting his legs and chest to make a beat.

You offered Reggie your hand and pulled him up as Luke started the countdown. Reggie took it and twirled you around, effectively getting sand in your shoes. You laughed and spun him around before dragging him up to the tables in front of the restaurants as he sang.

The people around you seemed confused by the sudden music, but they danced around anyway. You forgot how much you loved seeing people react to your music. Watching them dance and smile made all your worries float away, even if it was just for now.

And for the first time since the Orpheum,

It really did feel like the band was back.

August 1994

It was just after sunset when you called the Patterson house.

The sound of your mom slamming the front door was still fresh in your mind and before you could stop yourself, your fingers were flying across the buttons. Luke was the only person who knew about your relationship with your mom. 

You didn’t want to worry Cece, or Alex, or anyone else. But hiding things from Luke wasn’t easy, especially with how stubborn he was. So you told him everything, and he told you,

‘Call me next time, okay?’

The line only rang twice before someone picked up. “Hello?” 

It was Emily, Luke’s mom.

You took a deep breath, trying to keep from crying. “Hi, Mrs. Patterson.”

Emily laughed and you could practically hear her roll her eyes fondly. “(Y/n), sweetie, what did I tell you about calling me that?”

Even though you and Luke had been friends most of your lives, you had only met Emily a handful of times. Luke didn’t really like hanging out at his house, especially when he started fighting with them regularly. Still, Emily always treated you like her own kid whenever you were around.

“Sorry, Emily.” You said. “Is Luke around?”

You heard some shuffling as she called out for him and after a few minutes, Luke picked up the phone. “Hey.”

“Hi, are you busy?” 

“No, why?” He asked.

“Well, I made enough cookies to feed a small country and my mom’s gonna be gone for the night so I thought we could hang out.” You rambled. “Maybe finish ‘Raiders of the Lost Ark?”

Luke laughed excitedly. “Yeah, sure! Give me like 20 minutes.”

Luke’s laugh was so infectious that you had to fight through a giggle. “Okay, see you soon.”

As you went to hang up, you hear Emily’s voice again. She was teasing Luke about something but all you caught was the word ‘Girlfriend’, making you turn bright red.

You put the phone back on the hook just as the oven beeped to signal that it was ready to bake the cookies. You put them in the oven and turned your attention to the huge bowl of cake batter in front of you. At this point, there wasn’t anything left in the kitchen you hadn’t baked.

There was no way you would be able to eat all of it, even with Luke’s help. But you needed something to distract yourself to keep your mind from overloading.

True to his word, Luke arrived twenty minutes later, bursting through your front door and screaming the Indiana Jones theme song at the top of his lungs. He skipped his way into the kitchen, immediately sensing something was wrong when you didn’t join him or even acknowledge his presence. 

“(Y/n)?” Luke approached you slowly.

“Hey.” You tried to sound as casual as possible, not looking up from the bowl. “So, you ready to finally finish this movie?”

Luke didn’t say anything as he scanned the kitchen. There were piles of cookies and cooking utensils all over the counter, and you had flour in your hair. You could see the realization flash across his face through your eyelashes.

“Okay, you’re baking everything in the house, which can only mean one of two things,” Luke said, his voice becoming more serious as he jumped up on the counter. “You either watched Sixteen Candles unsupervised again or…”

You stayed quiet as you slowly stirred the batter. It was ready to put in the pan ten minutes ago but you needed something to do to distract yourself.

Luke’s hand gently gripped yours before taking the spoon from you and letting it fall into the bowl. You looked up at him to find him already staring at you with a furrowed brow.

Damn it.

You should’ve known he would see through your thinly veiled excuses and promise of cookies. Luke was more observant than people gave him credit for.

“C’mere,” Luke said, opening his arms. You moved between his legs and buried your head in his chest, covering his shirt in tears, flour, and batter. But he didn’t seem to mind as he rubbed circles into your arm with one hand while the other cradled your head.

“She hates me.” You said through a deep, shuddering breath.

“She doesn’t hate you,” Luke reasoned. “It’s impossible for anyone to hate you.”

One of the things you loved about Luke was his protective streak when it came to his friends, and the way that no matter what, he could only see the best in them.

And as his best friend, you were pretty much perfect in his eyes. Which meant that when you didn't immediately agree, Luke launched into a rant.

"First of all, you're like the smartest person in the world. You manage to get good grades while also working at the diner three days a week which is nuts.

Secondly, your voice is insane! And your lyrics, (Y/n), we wouldn't even have half the Sunset Curve songs without your killer songwriting skills!"

"You done, Lu?" You joked as you pulled away just enough to look up at him, trying not to blush. No matter how hard you tried to play it cool when he complimented you, it always made you melt inside.

"I'm just saying," Luke laughed softly. “You are literally the best person I know, Squeaks.”

You let out a watery laugh at the mention of your childhood nickname. It was one that Luke had given to you in 4th grade after he put a bug on your arm and you had squeaked in fear.

“And just think,” Luke whispered, his voice sounding a little wistful. “One day, we’ll get signed to a label and end up somewhere far away from here.”

“We barely started making our demo.” You said, making Luke scrunch his nose in the way that always made you giggle. "Don't you think you're getting a little ahead of yourself?"

“Nope.” He smirked. “Okay, I gotta ask, were you planning on baking this or is this a new look you’re going for? ‘Cause I gotta be honest, it’s not your best.” Luke said teasingly as he swiped some batter from your cheek.

“Oh, really?” You asked, dipping your finger in the bowl and smearing the batter across Luke’s face, making him gasp. Then you took a slight step back and hummed thoughtfully. “Definitely looks better on me.”

“You know what?” Luke scoffed, trying to hold back a smile and before you could blink, he reached into the bowl and flung the spoon at you, splattering your shirt. “I think you’re right.”

“Jerk!” You laughed, wiping off your shirt as Luke tried to lick the batter off his chin but he only managed to make an ever bigger mess.

“Did I get it?” He asked, making you giggle.

“Not quite.” You reached forward and carefully wiped it off, desperately trying to focus on anything other than how close your faces were. But it was impossible when you could feel Luke’s breath on the tip of your nose. “There.”

Luke’s face was unreadable as he looked down at you. The playfulness had evaporated in the air and was replaced with something else that you couldn’t really read either. Just when you thought the moment would last forever, the timer for the second batch of cookies rang through the kitchen, and you practically bolted to the oven.

You pulled them out and put them on a plate. “So, you know that we have to watch Sixteen Candles now, right?”

Luke groaned, pretending to be annoyed. Even though he would never admit it, you knew he secretly loved romance movies. “Fine, but Raiders of the Lost Ark after?”

“Deal.”

As Luke went into the living room to start the movie, you sighed to yourself. Maybe you would never have a normal relationship with your mom.

But you had your band, your friends, and even if it wasn’t exactly in the way you wanted; 

You had Luke.

-

In Life, In Death Taglist:

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