#of course still not my place to say if that was an appropriate writing choice or not

[skylordhorus]

i wish i could read japanese in order to look up more stuff because to me the end arc of okami can be read as having an anti colonialism/imperialism message (ie. the final boss is an amalgamation of european technology, and the Root Of All Evil is a ship that has crashed into the land of kamui, ie ainu mosir/hokkaido, and its called the ark of yamato)

and im curious if any of this was intentional or whether this is simply coincidental

[awakenedsalamander]

Alright, so I’ve obviously given Mage and Vampire some attention. It’s about time I talk about Werewolf: The Apocalypse, you know, round out the “big three.”

Truth be told, I have kind of a love/hate relationship with Werewolf, though that kinda implies it’s an even split of things I enjoy and things I don’t, but that’s not quite correct.

A more accurate breakdown of my feelings would be something like:

- 60% stuff I really love and appreciate

- 20% stuff I go back and forth on

- 15% stuff I dislike but can tolerate (pretty standard for WoD)

- 5% stuff I really, truly, passionately loathe

And it’s honestly that last 5% that I struggle with most. To be clear, a lot of the WoD games have things in them I don’t just dislike, but find sincerely objectionable or harmful. (A certain Vampire sourcebook, the title of which I can’t even comfortably write out, immediately comes to mind.) But I get past those things, because 1) no work of art is morally flawless, and your tastes as a hobbyist or audience member are not your ethics as a human being and 2) a lot of that stuff is from the older editions and has largely been divorced from the game.

So what’s different about Werewolf?

Well, some of it lies in point 2— there are things in Werewolf that are bad and (barring the controversy of 5th Edition’s lore changes, which is a whole other kettle of fish that I’d rather not dive into right now) are still part of the game. Improved somewhat? Absolutely. But the ugliness of some choices still haunts the game.

The ways Werewolf: The Apocalypse talks about native peoples, from Indigenous Australians to First Nations Americans, is a big example. I don’t feel it prudent for me to go into those details, if only because I think it’s not my lane and voices from those cultures should really lead those discussions, but the game has a very weird attitude toward indigenous groups— at one recognizing their history and the atrocities they’ve come through with respect, while still finding ways to exoticize that history, and appropriate much of it. To say nothing of the ways in which it feels comfortable speaking over indigenous groups, even in matters of their rights.

That’s just one example. There’s the way Werewolf conceptualizes ethnicity and ancestry in general, which is weirdly archaic in places despite seemingly trying to criticize that view. There’s its approach to disability and bodies that differ from an assumed norm, which as many have observed can sometimes come across as genuinely eugenicist on occasion.

And of course, the game is about monsters— you’re not meant to agree with the Garou on much of their beliefs, and you’re meant to engage with those very real issues and wrestle with the right way forward.

And honestly? That last part— the reality of the issues at hand— that’s what makes the bad parts of Werewolf so hard to look past. You know, the other games in the World of Darkness deal with real world issues, but they do so in a fairly abstract way. Like, sure I can and do identity the Technocracy of Mage with destructive and cruel systems of power in the real world, but like… there isn’t actually a league of hypereconomists using secret math to influence the fate of the world. That’s just an exaggerated and metaphorical way to engage with the problems at the heart of a late-capitalist world.

But Pentex? Pentex is basically real. The Apocalypse in Werewolf: The Apocalypse is climate change. It’s happening now. When the game tells you that you need to Rage against the dying of Gaia… that’s almost as literal as it gets. And that makes its fumbles, its mistakes, and yes, its deliberate offenses, harder to swallow. The stakes are high enough that when things are wrong, it really hurts.

But… let’s also acknowledge: The reality I’m talking about it? It’s what makes that 60% stuff I like so amazing. The lows of Werewolf are hard to stomach, but the highs are just… exhilarating.

Like, Werewolf is a game that says, “You see the state of the world? You see its monstrous past? Its insidious present that only hides the horror? Do you see the doomed future its on a crash course with? Let’s take it, and let’s rip it to fucking shreds. It these tyrants and thieves want to kill the world, then we’ll kill them first, if that’s what it takes. If the Apocalypse happens, it happens on our terms, on the terms of the people being victimized and shoved to the margins. You and I? We’re gonna build a better world or die trying. All our anger might ruin us, but we have to try. The consequences of our actions are dire, but we don’t go down without making the bastards work for it. Not without a fight.”

And fuck, when the game is saying that? It’s priceless.

In fact, this has all been too down on Werewolf as a whole. I want to get my problems with the game out front, just to acknowledge them and keep space for the critique and change that they demand, but at the end of the day, I am a Werewolf: The Apocalypse fan (if one with a lot of notes). I want to do something a little unusual and show you an outline for an Apocalypse chronicle I haven’t yet had the chance to run, to show you what I love about the game.

So, stay tuned for a glimpse into that later— a glimpse into “Blood Ripples Out.”

[graciecatfamilyband]

The Info-Dumpers who Love Characters Website is totally sleeping on the best Info-Dumping Character of All Time:

Jade Daniels, the 17 year-old half-indigenous girl from Stephen Graham Jones’ My Heart is a Chainsaw.

In everyone’s defense, character-driven slow-burn literary fiction that is also a slasher (stab stab 🔪🔪🩸) is a hard genre to sell. Many of us who love one part of this equation don’t love the other.

But Jade has captured my whole chainsaw ♥️, and I CANNOT be normal about it. Jade has never met a person at whom she wasn’t willing to spout random facts that they have exhibited no interest in. She can bring ANYTHING back around to connect to her hyperfixation which is, coincidentally, slasher movies. And she is the most vivid, alive, real-to-me protagonist I have ever encountered. Because of the way she hyperfixates and info dumps, not in spite of it. (Which surely says something about me but again, I am among friends on this webbed site!)

Jade makes completely normal, totally hinged choices like:

(When we the audience are first introduced to her) Going up to a group of construction workers having a trash fire in the middle of the night and being like, “If we were in a slasher right now, this is what the plot line would be. Also, have some random slasher movie facts.” (Their response: Are you okay? You seem like you are not okay.)

Writing extra credit essays for her history teacher about the tropes and conventions of the slasher genre. For four years. Not what he asked for, but what he got. (These essays are included in the book and are a godsend for those of us who are not already slasher fans! They literally help the reader understand the story beats as they unfold, while simultaneously giving life to Jade’s voice and helping us understand what makes her tick.)

Deciding the New Girl At School has all the qualities of a Final Girl, the slasher film trope in which there is one girl left alive to confront the killer and stop the slasher cycle.

Trying to warn the New Girl At School that she is going to be The Final Girl, by putting a VHS copy of the 1971 slasher Bay of Blood and all of Jade’s slasher extra credit essays in her mailbox. With a note. A note that says that she is going to be The Final Girl in a slasher cycle that seems to be starting up. (Jade is just trying to help! So helpful.)

Of course, the core of this novel is: What is going on with Jade? After all, she actually wants a slasher cycle to start in her town. (She also wants the slasher cycle to be stopped at the proper moment, to ensure that the vengeance of the slasher is balanced by the justice of the Final Girl.) She does not see herself as a possible Final Girl, but she is willing to help the richer, prettier, more appropriate classmate who she thinks is that girl. Why, why, why?

To be clear, the novel does not posit that something must be wrong with a person to be intensely, obsessively interested in something or for that thing to be horror- even slashers! But Jade’s behavior is, like I said, not entirely hinged, even for a slasher fan. Something must be up.

The novel gives us all the clues we need to peel back the layers of what’s really happening, and when truths are revealed, everything just *clicks.* Themes are introduced and then reinforced on multiple levels. There is a bear. 🐻 (The bear is the not the slasher.)

And throughout, Jade gets to be fully-human and fully seven-fucking-teen. Even though she is on the cusp of adulthood, she is still a child, and a wounded one at that. (Her wounds in no way fucking diminish her.)  Her judgment is often impaired. Her actions are often questionable. Her hair-dye jobs gets so bad, even she thinks its gross. She is so alive, and so deserving of love. 🥹 

I love her.

I would fight for her.

I desperately want to make soup for her, and let her tell me about the Scream franchise (I do not care about the Scream franchise), and give her a safe place to sleep. Even if doing so makes it way more likely that I’m about to get murdered.

Jade Fucking Daniels. My chainsaw-hearted, info-dumping hero protagonist. I salute you, my final girl.

[loreleyfromouterspace]

Lab Work

Fandom(s): The Sandman, Quantum Leap Pairing: Dr. Ian Wright x afab!Reader; Desire of the Endless x afab!Reader Description: In Ian's lab, certain rules have to be followed. Warnings: Workplace romance and associated power imbalance (all consentual), Oral(both giving and recieving), Fingering, Unprotected P in V, Cum, Roleplay, My attempts at writing comedy/witty banter Note: I have never seen Quantum Leap lmao Wordcount: 3.100 Read this and my other Desire x Reader fanfics on Ao3

“Could you come here for a minute? I think I need your help.”

You looked up from the documents in front of you and saw Dr. Ian Wright standing at a desk, looking over to you.

“Sure. What’s wrong?” you asked as you stood up and walked over to your superior, being hit by the pleasant smell of their aftershave but quickly distracting yourself by surveying the papers lying on the table.

“I’ve hit a wall with these calculations, and maybe a fresh pair of eyes…”, they paused, looked you up and down, sighed, and pushed their glasses up with two fingers, “I’m sorry, I really don’t want to do this, but I feel like at this point I have to say something.”

You knitted your eyebrows together as they looked at the ceiling, seemingly unable to meet your gaze.

“I… I really need you to dress more appropriate for this place. It’s been going on ever since you’ve started here, but this…” they gesticulated at your outfit, “Is taking it too far!”

You looked down at yourself, at the blouse and the checkered skirt, and leaned against the desk. You had been hired less than a month ago and really liked the work and the colleagues, and this was quite unexpected.

“I don’t understand, is it not cute enough or something?”

“It’s not about how your clothes look. It's about the fact that this is a lab, a lab that has important safety precautions, and you are wearing a chiffon top with lace details and a skirt that is really more of a big belt. Of… of course you are free to do whatever you want with your body, but as long as you are in this lab, you at least have to wear pants! Did you not have labs in college? Your grades are excellent, how can you not know the appropriate clothes for a place like this?”

Their bleached hair bounced softly as they became more and more agitated. Now it was your turn to look away, away from the physicist who was always dressed extremely well but at the same time rarely showed anything more than their forearms.

“Dr. Wright I…”

“Ian.”

“Ian. I did have labs in college, but there was the lockdown and then I did my internship and then the professor who was supposed to supervise the labs went on maternity leave two weeks earlier than expected… so I didn’t have as many as I should have had.”

“Still, you signed a pledge that you have read and understand the safety measures…”

“I’m sorry, nobody ever reads these! Have you read them?!”

“Yes, I have, because I wrote them! This is the US military hon, we are dealing with time jump technology. What if, tomorrow, we have some sort of accident, and you get transported 500 years into the future looking like this?”

“With the way climate change is going that is probably the most fitting outfit for that scenario!” you pouted.

They leaned over you and despite being scolded, you desperately tired not to blush from the proximity.

“I understand that this is your first job straight out of college, but this…” they halted as their eyes seemingly got distracted by something and immediately shot up to the ceiling in embarrassment, “for the love of science, please tell me that you’re wearing underwear right now.”

Now you definitely blushed and tried to conceal this fact by looking at your shoes, who, now that you thought about it, were probably also not suited for this kind of environment.

“My washing machine broke, and I didn’t have the time to go to the laundromat last night.”

“So your only choice was to come into work commando?!”

You sighed, defeated.

“Sorry.”

This was especially bad because you actually liked Ian, with their unique style and warm, dorky demeanour, and getting lectured by them on dress code violations put reality back into perspective: They were your boss, and not somebody it was okay to fantasize about.

“Listen,” they said after a brief silence, taking on a softer and more forgiving tone, “This isn’t about me controlling you. You are my assistant, and as such I have a responsibility to keep you safe, and part of that is unfortunately enforcing safety measures. Again, what you do after work is none of my business or concern, but from now on, at least cover your knees while you’re here.”

While they were talking, one of their hands with which they had been propping themselves up on the table dislodged itself to gently smooth the folds of your skirt, and then came to rest on your thigh. You noticed this and glanced at their hand, and it made Ian blush and withdraw it quickly.

“Sorry,” they said apologetically, “Now I’m being inappropriate.”

You batted your eyelashes and reached for their hand to place it on your thigh again, a bit higher than been before, making it touch the hem of your skirt, almost dipping under it.

“If I didn’t know better…”, Ian murmured, “I would say that you have been wearing these clothes not because you didn’t know about the rules, but because you want to appeal to certain people in this facility.”

“Porque no los dos?” you asked coquettishly and shifted your leg so that two of their fingers actually slid under your skirt, caressing the sensitive skin of your thigh, “I contain multitudes.”

“What am I going to do with you, little star?” they sighed while pulling you closer, allowing you to feel the bulge growing in their black slacks.

“I suggest,” you answered coyly and gasped as their hand slid around you to grab your ass, “we do whatever we like.”

“You are going to get me in so much trouble” they sounded hoarse as they leaned forward to kiss you hungrily, their lips trapping yours beneath them and only interrupting the kiss long enough to moan when you grabbed the front of their pants, tracing their length with your fingers.

In what seemed like a ferocious heat, they lifted you up and set you down on the desk, letting their lips move on past your jawline to your collarbone, but immediately stopping when they felt you tense up in their arms.

“What?” they asked, a little out of breath. You were looking at something behind them, and when they followed your gaze, they chuckled lightly.

“Oh that,” they gently patted your leg to redirect you attention from the surveillance camera pointed at you behind them, “that thing is fake. The machines in here interfere with nearly all modern cameras, so they put the dummy up there to at least pretend. It’s perfectly safe, don’t worry.”

That calmed your nerves enough for you to begin nestling with their belt buckle, but you still bit your lip, uncertain.

“And if you’re worried about Jenn, don’t be”, they assured you, “What we have couldn’t be further from exclusive or monogamous. If anything, she’s probably going to be salty that I got you first.”

“Then yes,” you answered their unspoken question and threw yourself at them, crashing your lips together. Your knees moved apart almost without your doing, allowing Ian to have even more access to your body.

“Please let me touch your tits,” they grunted in between two kisses as you pressed yourself against them, “please, I’ve never wanted anything so badly.”

Your lips being occupied, you managed to wriggle your hands free and opened your blouse with trembling fingers. Ian lost no time whatsoever, immediately starting to grope your chest and freeing your tits from the cream-coloured bra you were wearing. Your nipples turned hard under their massage, and it made you gasp and moan. It almost distracted you from your mission to get into their pants, but eventually you managed to open their belt and pull down their zipper, but when you slid down from the desk to kneel on the floor and came face to face with their bulge, you froze.

Fuck.

“Are you okay?” Ian asked above you, “We can stop any time, you know. You don’t have to…”

“No, I want this,” you asserted with a shaky voice, “I’m just…”

They were so big, even in their underwear.

“…not sure if you’ll fit.”

“Oh baby, don’t worry about it,” they gently ran their hand through your hair, “I’ll make sure you’ll be fine, okay?”

Reassured, you nodded and began to wrestle their erection from their boxer briefs, running your hands along their shaft once their cock was free, delighting at how they hissed from the touch. Tentatively, you leaned forward and licked over the tip, which made Ian moan and tighten their grip onto your hair. Emboldened by their reaction, you parted your lips and took them into your mouth.

“Fuck,” they sighed above you as you began to bob your head, trying your best to take all of them, “You’re so good at this, is this was you did instead of attending your labs?”

Your throat tightened around their cock, and they grunted, a sound that made you tremble. You continued to blow them, taking them into your mouth fully and tasting their precum on your tongue, until they moaned louder and louder, gripped pulled your hair, and came down your throat.

“Fuck,” they repeated and watched as you swallowed their spent, “let me take care of you now!”

“Yes,” you exhaled and allowed them to pull you up and lift you onto the desk, feeling a rush of adrenaline from the prospect of Ian’s lips on your skin once again.

Ian parted your legs enthusiastically and kissed you with a hunger and passion that you had never experienced before. You gasped as they moved down your neck to your breasts, taking the time to pop each one once or twice before pressing a trail of kisses down your body. You arched your back as they dipped their head under your skirt, and you shivered as you felt their hot breath on your sensitive skin.

“Des- Ian!” you groaned and tried to squirm forward to meet their face, “Please, I want you so badly!”

You could have sworn that you heard them chuckle, but no time to dwell on that, as half a second later, you felt their tongue running over your slit and circling your clit, making you almost scream and feverously grip onto the desk and Ian’s head in order not to topple over.

“Please don’t stop!”, you moaned as the physicist continued to suck your clit while sliding one finger into you. Soon they had worked themselves up to two and three fingers, all while practically drinking the juices coming from you. It took an embarrassingly short time for you to reach your high, with Ian working their fingers and tongue together and you grinding your hips on their face. After you had tightened around them, they reemerged from the floor, but showed no signs of letting your orgasm stop you from what you had been doing.

After a moment in which both of you caught your breath, they rushed forward to kiss you once again, and you excitedly opened your mouth to allow their tongue to slide in between your lips. The taste of your juices on their lips combined with the remnant of their cum in your mouth made excitement pool between your legs all over again, and when you reached between your two trembling bodies, you wrapped your hand around their still rock-hard erection and began rubbing it up and down, running your thumb over their cockhead and spreading their new precum along their shaft.

“You are insatiable,” they chuckled with a desperate edge to their voice, indicating that they were as willing as you to keep going.

While you continued to jerk them off, Ian interrupted their attention to your lips to pull open one of their desk drawers and reached into it, clearly searching for something.

“Shit,” they muttered, making you stop.

“What?”

“I’m out of condoms!” they said and pointedly shook an empty box.

Had you been in a different state, you probably would have asked why they had condoms in their work desk, but right now, you were way to horny for that, so instead you said:

“I’m on birth control, and all clean.”

“Me too!”, Ian beamed, “Do you still want to?”

“Yes!” you gasped and wanted to resume giving them a handjob, but they stopped you by bending over and licking over your slit again before pumping their cock up and down and gently teasing your already raw pussy with their length.

“You are horrible,” you rasped and tried bucking your hips, “Such a mean…”

You wanted to continue, but before you could, Ian slid halfway into you, forcing the air out of your lungs and making you gasp. They kissed your shoulders while staying still inside of you to give you the chance to get used to the feeling of them inside of you. Their cock felt even bigger up your snatch than it had felt in your mouth, but luckily you were still wet from your previous orgasm. It felt so good to be full of them, and your walls clenched around them in a wave of pleasure.

Ian noticed your reaction and took it as a sign to bottom out. A loud moan escaped your mouth in response and your eyes rolled back into head for a moment, their cock almost hitting your cervix and stretching you to an almost impossible point.

“Fuck, you feel so good,” they grunted and pressed their hand to your lower back to bring you closer to them while using the other hand to steady both of you on the table, “How am I ever going to get that feeling out of my head?”

Before you could answer Ian began moving back and forth, emptying your brain of all possible words. Out of your mouth only came moans and gasps as they pounded you, before their hungry lips crashed into yours and effectively silenced you. You were desperate for something to hold onto and could only dig your fingernails into the skin on their shoulders, especially once their hand found it’s way between your bodies and began to circle your clit.

“I think ‘m gonna cum!” you moaned once their lips had released yours.

“Me too, fuck”, they answered and intensified their thrusts, “You are so damn wet, so wet for me.”

“Don’t stop,” you begged them, even though it was clear that it this point that neither of you would be able to stop even if you wanted to.

Then you came around their cock, lust clouding your eyes and making you grip onto their hair. You second orgasm was more intense then your first, and you ground your hips against Ian to steal as much pleasure as you could.

“Do you want me to come inside you?”, Ian asked after you were done riding out your high and your leg were shaking.

“Yes!” you gasped and after a few more thrusts, they collapse against you, and you felt their hot cum coat your insides.

For a few minutes, you remained like this, in each other’s arms and occasionally exchanging soft, languid touches and kisses. Then, Ian straightened their back and moved out of you, the friction making you moan softly.

“Wait,” they instructed you, pulled open another drawer and handed you something, “I think these should fit.”

They had given you a pair of cotton underwear, which you slid on before sliding off the desk and pulling your skirt down before trying to fix your blouse with trembling fingers.

“Let me help you,” Ian had closed their pants and belt in the meantime, “Unfortunately I also have to tell you that that bra is also not okay to wear to work.”

“Why not?! You can’t even see it!” you objected as they carefully closed the buttons.

“It’s not about seeing. If you consult the rules that nobody ever reads, you’ll find that metal wires like these,” they stabbed their finger into the still exposed foam cup, “can be a serious safety hazard when dealing with high-powered magnets and are therefore not to be worn in lab environments.”

“Fine”, you conceded, “I promise that tomorrow, I’ll walk in here in jeans, a long-sleeved shirt, closed shoes, and a non-wired bra.”

“And panties.”

“Yes, and panties, Christ alive!”

“Perfect,” they praised you, “That’s all I’m asking for. Can I kiss you?”

“You cock was inside me five minutes ago,” you laughed, “You are literally dripping out of me right now, and you are asking if you can kiss me?”

“Consent is important!” they protested with pink cheeks, but you shut them down by getting on your tiptoes and wrapping your arms around their neck.

“The answer is yes,” you said, “Yes, Dr. Ian Wright, you may kiss me.”

Their lips were soft and gentle, and it made you relax into the touch. Once you opened your eyes again, the lab had disappeared around you and Ian Wright had turned back into Desire, who smiled mischievously and pulled you against them.

“What kind of Physicist has fresh underwear in my size in their desk?” you joked and smiled.

“I suspect it’s the same kind of Physicist that keeps condoms in there!” they parried and pressed another kiss to your cheek.

“Did you like it?” you changed the topic, a bit shy about asking.

“Sweetness, you always ask what I want and what I like, and I always tell you that I love seeing you happy and fucked out. So, did you like it?”

“I did,” you blushed.

This had not been the first immersive roleplay you and Desire had tried. In the past, you had been the mistress to a famous singer working in a 1920s nightclub, a concubine to a tyrannical ruler, an escort being hired by politician, and many more, but being Ian Wrights assistant was new. You had been a bit shy about suggesting it since it felt kind of elaborate, but Desire – as always – had been excited and had worked to make your fantasy feel as real as possible.

“I liked it a lot, actually.”

“That’s what I thought”, another kiss, “I’m sure Ian Wright will need you help again at some point, so we are ready to go back to the lab whenever you like.”

“Sounds incredibly tempting,” you said with a smile, “But before that I’m going to need a shower.”

“Say no more,” Desire purred and swept you off your feet to carry you to the bathroom.

[saintsenara]

3. 8, and 9 for Bellamort please!!!

thanks for the ask, @celestemagnoliathewriter! and thanks for picking one of the more functional couples on the list. which says a lot about me...

[ship asks here]

3. what was their first impression of each other?

bellatrix likes power and lord voldemort has that in spades [whereas poor, nervous-looking rodolphus does not]. the first night they met, his menacing charisma was enough that she decided she could live with the red eyes.

voldemort noticed that she wasn't afraid of him, but that she was desperately impressed by him. he considered that the perfect reaction.

8. what do they love most about the other? why?

"love" is obviously a strong word to use in this case [although i'll die on the hill that it's appropriate]...

it's clear in canon that bellatrix transcends the gendered expectations placed upon her, and that she is one of the few pureblood women known to the story who do. she has no children, her marriage is completely irrelevant to the story, she has - in some senses - a job, and so on. her character arc is still entirely defined by a man, of course, but she is one of the few adult women in the series who is allowed to exist outside of a domestic or pseudo-domestic [like a boarding school, for example] context.

and when i'm trying to expand her in my own writing, i like to think of this as the result of deliberate choice, of straining against traditions by which she feels entrapped. unlike a lot of bellatrix fans, for example, i think her marriage to rodolphus is a miserable one, an unsuccessful arranged marriage neither had a choice in, and i think she had ambitions [to travel, to work] which were cut short by her marriage and which joining the death eaters offered her a chance to escape [although don't get me wrong, the opportunity to engage in sectarian terrorism against muggleborns was her main motivation].

the desire to make one's own life - to refuse to be constrained by things like one's father, or the expectations of one's social class - is something voldemort understands very well. a big question with this pairing is what they actually have meaningfully in common - well, this is one thing, and it's something he genuinely admires in her.

he also likes her hair, but he wouldn't admit that.

for bellatrix, the same is true - voldemort is, and isn't this a depressing thought, the only man in her life who not only doesn't care about her rejection of social norms but encourages them, and whose terrifying authority means that her unusual existence within pureblood society cannot be questioned. rodolphus wasn't pleased about his wife getting private lessons in the dark arts - and not just because half of them took place with her bent over the dark lord's desk - but he couldn't say anything about it or he'd end up getting murdered. voldemort provides her with a dual freedom and protection which she finds very valuable.

9. what do they dislike most about the other? why?

that he listens to her but never takes her advice. you just know she was screaming at that soul baby in the afterlife about how he ignored all her warnings about snape.

that she makes him look weak in front of the other death eaters.

before the flaw in the plan, after which he's in pure "reject-all-human-emotion" mode, voldemort actually tolerates a surprising amount of affection from bellatrix: he allows her to be physically very close to him; to talk to him in front of the other death eaters in ways which hint to the relationship between them; to refer to herself as his favourite [snape must know that voldemort permits this, since he's so keen to mock her with it in spinner's end]; to - if you accept the idea - be visibly pregnant with his baby [something which makes clear he's still just a man underneath it all...].

she causes him to fuck up a lot of things: she makes him blow a full year of cover so she doesn't get arrested in the ministry; she summons him back from his elder wand mission to chaos at malfoy manor; she gives away the location of his horcrux because she's incapable of subtlety; but she seems to get away with only the most minor punishment [after the cock-up at the manor, lucius malfoy is described as clearly having been physically attacked by voldemort, bellatrix is just getting the silent treatment.]

she's a nightmare, but lord voldemort is down bad. he hates it.

[with-love-from-hell]

Hi um sorry if this is something you won’t write for please ignore it and I’m not trying to be inconsiderate. Recently I accepted that I was very likely groomed online in my preteen years. I’m a young adult now so it’s been years since it happened but it haunts me almost every day. I completely thought it wouldn’t be taken seriously or I’d be blamed if I told anyone (still do) and was wondering if you could write something for it? A headcanon list with Lucifer, Simeon, and Barbatos (and any others) or just a drabble with Barbatos if you are willing? Some sort of comfort or assurance that it’s not MC’s fault…? I hope this makes sense…

OH yes! I can write for this! I am so sorry you had that experience. I hope you know that it’s not your fault and that person who groomed you deserves a fate worse than death. Take care, anon <3

How they react to Mc being groomed as a child

Genre: hurt/comfort, Headcanons

Characters featured: Lucifer, Simeon, Barbatos

Written for a GN!MC (they/you pronouns)

TRIGGER WARNING: grooming, vague illusion to abuse, things associated with online pests who groom children. 

Scenario: Mc has had a tough week filled with triggers to past experiences with past grooming, and decides to confide in him about it. Their speech is tearful and they are visibly distraught throughout their telling of the experience. This is how they will comfort them. 

Note: Though I do have a masters degree in Psychology and clinical training in treating survivors of abuse, I am not your therapist, nor is this fic intended to take the place of professional help. If you are experiencing any type of abuse, please seek support from a professional. Utilize the Victim Connect Resource Center to get connected to the appropriate helpline.

Lucifer

You find him in his office, of course. It’s late at night and you’re alone with your thoughts, so who better to seek out who would be awake at this hour. 

He knows something is wrong the minute you ask if you can come into his office. Right away, he hears the timidness in your voice and sees your dour stance. 

He will sit down on his soft leather couch next to you and pour you some demonus, telling you to take your time in saying what you need to say, because he can already tell it will be hard for you.

The minute you start telling him about your experience, his usual firm and cold demeanor drops and he intently focuses on your every word. 

He will patiently wait until you’re done expelling your story before offering any thoughts, knowing its best for you to vent at your own pace, but he will provide indicators that he is listening (lots of eye contact, and expressions of grief for your experience)

He honestly can kind of relate, given his experience in the celestial realm will probably resemble some of the things you say. It may trigger something within himself that may make him particularly empathetic to your experience. 

When you’re done talking, he will ask if you would like any physical comfort.  If you say no, he will keep his distance. If you say yes though, he will pull you onto his lap and hold you gently, brushing your tears away and hushing you softly. 

He will be adamant in convincing you it wasn’t your fault, and that you were not stupid for falling for any abuse tactics. 

He may also ask for the individuals name...just for reference- I mean, a name can tell you a lot about a person, right? He definitely isn’t going to take a detour on his next trip to the human world to teach the person a lesson. 

He will offer to stay with you through the night, either sleeping next to you or providing a distraction (like playing chess or a board game of your choice, or listening to music).

He will be much more protective over you after this, as he knows some demons have a tendency to manipulate humans into doing what they want, and he doesn’t want you to relive that experience. 

Simeon

A slumber party at Purgatory hall sounded fun, so you couldn’t back out now- not when Luke was so excited to have you over

But as night falls, the small angel goes to sleep, Solomon returns to his potion brewing, and you are left wide awake with only your thoughts, and Simeon’s bright smile.

He had noticed something was wrong when he had seen you earlier in the day, but he was waiting for you to come to him (or anyone really, he just hoped it’d be him) at your own pace.

So when you decide to open up to him, he turns his full attention toward you. He can tell your serious, and clearly it’s something that has created a wound, so he preemptively takes your hand gently in his and strokes your knuckles with thumb while you speak. 

He will interrupt every so often to tell you how sorry he is about your experience, and remind you that you don’t have to give more detail than you are comfortable with. 

He will also give consistent reminders that you aren’t to blame for being trusting of others, and that the other person was to blame for taking advantage of that trust. 

After you’re done, he will pull you into a tight embrace and let you cry. If you express your displeasure in that, he will let you go and ask what you do want. If not, he will grip you firmly. 

He will also give you soft expressions of how grateful he is to have you in his life, and how much he cherishes you. 

He will also apologize for not having been there to help you during that time, but remind you that he’s here now and wont let anything like that happen to you again.

Simeon will thank you for trusting in him to talk to him about such a terrible experience, and remind you that he is always around for you to rely on.

He will also give a silent promise of watching you more closely from now on, and recognizing signs you may be experiencing a trigger. During these times, he will pull you aside and ask if he can take you somewhere as a distraction. 

Barbatos

Frankly, Barbatos is shocked at first when you decided to trek all the way to the castle to talk to him about something. 

He immediately assumes the worse, thinking that you’re struggling with the brothers or are going to try to convince him to send you home. 

He is relieved when you say you just had something held inside you needed to talk to someone about, and will take you out into the garden (with home made refreshments, of course).

He will listen intently while you speak, not saying much of anything but nodding along and making facial expressions that indicate his sympathy for what you have gone through. 

When you’re done talking, he will simply ask if he can give you his thoughts on what you said. 

(at first this sounds scary but trust me, you’re gonna want to say yes)

He will then proceed to tell you how abhorrent the person who did this to you was, and how sorry he is that it was you who had to suffer such a fate. 

He will be firm, but gentle in his assertion that it wasn’t your fault and that you harbor no responsibility in being a child who was manipulated by an adult.

He will remind you that abuse techniques work for a reason, and that the goal of abusers is to convince their victims that they are the one at fault. 

He will reach out and offer you his hand to hold and take you on a walk through the garden to clear your head, giving gentle squeezes along the way to reassure you that he’s here. 

Barbatos will offer to lend an ear to whenever you feel like you’re needing to vent, and will also ask information regarding specific triggers or things he and everyone else should be aware of. 

After, he will sift through your life memories to find out who the person was and everything about them. 

Let’s just say that the individual may end up in a cell below the castle where he answers to Barbatos for a very, very long time. 

[mercurygray]

For the writing prompt, how about #8 absolute for everyone's favorite Red Devil Mike Stanley and a character of your choice.

Oh, this was fun. I love Mike so much - and he's here playing opposite my OC for All Creatures Great and Small, Isabel!

---

Heaven save her from the Darrowby housewife.

So polite, so well-meaning, so utterly proper - so absolutely afraid to trust her with anything that they would have asked her father for.

Isabel was just getting ready to close the surgery for a spot of lunch when yet another appeared, going-out coat and handbag appropriately matched, lingering in the waiting room to discreetly see which Corbett was running things today, ready to turn back if it wasn't the right one.

Too late -she'd been caught. "Oh, Miss Corbett, I was -"

"My father's out, I'm afraid, Mrs. Stanley," Isabel said, trying not to look hurt. "Was there something I could help you with?"

Mrs. Stanley dithered a moment. "Well, it's - my nephew's visiting, and he's gotten himself into a bit of a scrape, and I didn't like to leave it…"

"I'm sure it's nothing I can't manage, Mrs. Stanley," Isabel assured her, assuming the boy was standing in the waiting room out of sight. "We do a whole course on scrapes in medical school. I'm just washing my hands - have him pop up on the exam table in room two and we'll set him right in no time."

Mrs. Stanley didn't seem to know what to say to that, but she heard a few little agitated noises and the creak of the table, and Mrs. Stanley saying something that he was old enough to wait without her. Boys. Same the world over. It would be a bloody knee or an elbow and she'd still have time to step out for lunch.

She was just finishing drying her hands as she stepped into exam room two, thinking about antiseptics and wound debridement and the scrapes of 12 year old boys, and then came face to face with approximately 6 feet of broad-shouldered, sandy-haired, clean-jawed soldier, his red beret soft in his hands and a winged horse prominent on the shoulder of his jacket. He looked just a little out of place as he swung his legs over the side of the exam table, his head (and one very nasty looking cut) very nearly brushing the overhead light.

Isabel stopped dead. "Goodness."

He smiled - a rather disarming look. "Not what you were expecting, was it?"

Isabel could feel the blush clear through to her bones. "She said nephew and... I ....assumed - someone smaller."

The smile got wider. "And before I assume - Is it actually Miss Corbett, or Doctor?"

"Doctor, actually."

"Then it sounds like I'm in very safe hands." His head made another very near miss with the light. "Do I still need…"

"Oh, no, of course not." Isabel gestured for him to get off the table and sit down in the exam room's chair, and busied herself for a moment with preparing her tray, the alcohol swab and sticking plaster and forceps.

He made himself comfortable in the much lower chair and she pulled the tray closer so she could get a look at his head. He smelled different from her usual - aftershave rather than soap, wet canvas instead of wool. The cut on his head had already started scabbing, though it seemed fairly deep. "Should I ask?"

He smiled widely at that. "I can tell you anyway - there was a difference of opinions on the niceties of overseas service. You may see the other gentleman in later with a goose-egg on the back of his head and a black eye from where I laid him out."

Isabel nodded, dabbing expertly at the cut. It was reassuring, somehow, that even he shivered with the sting of the alcohol swab. "So, where were you, overseas?" she asked, just to be polite and make conversation. "It's the Paras, isn't it? Your beret."

He glanced up at her between her arms and the forceps she was using for the swab. "Doctor Corbett is very well informed. Did you serve?"

"Just here at home," she said, feeling very foolish about that answer. "Farmers with sprains and bad backs and hernias."

If he thought less of that, he didn't say anything, only nodded. "France, and Holland, and then Malaya. Only just got home a few weeks ago. Doing a tour 'round the relatives, see if we can scare something up for a job. There was a lead for a farm manager, and I thought I'd give the interview a go. Gave Aunt Mabel a turn last night, that's for sure. Still adjusting a little bit to civvy street, you might say."

"I think they'll think twice about disagreeing with you down at the Drovers'." She brushed his hair out of the way and carefully patted the bandage and plaster into place, neatly covering up the wound. "And Dales folk always like someone who speaks their mind," she added with a smile. "I think that's you sorted, then."

"And what do you like, Doctor Corbett?"

She looked down and realized his eyes were a rather startling shade of greeny-blue, and they were looking up at her with a frankness she hadn't seen in a long time - since London, really, and school. A look between equals - a look of interest. "It's Michael, by the by," he added, for effect. "Or Mike, if you like."

She stepped back and looked at him again, very carefully, the smile and his laughing eyes. "I like the pies down at the Queen's Arms," she said, choosing her words carefully. "I can take forty minutes for lunch. And I like being called Isabel, when it suits."

To judge by the smile, it suited Mike Stanley just fine.

[shuuji-thoughts]

on Go - Isao Yukisada (2001)

Initial Impressions

Having absolutely loved Yosuke Kubozuka's performance in IWGP, the greatest show of all time, I was extremely excited to see him in this and it certainly did not disappoint. It has almost exactly the same kind of late '90s/ early 2000s energy that I loved that show for, although in a slightly different flavor. The quick cuts, the random speed-ups, the random violence, the sense of humor, etc etc, I love it all so much. And of course, Kobuzuka's performance here cannot be understated, the man is such a fucking vibe. If I had a spirit animal it would be him 100%.

Further Critique

The main thing that impressed me about this film was just how many directions it managed to go and just how many things it covered during its runtime. This did kinda make it feel a bit all over the place at times, but I felt like the variety was appropriate considering the complexity of the topic matter. For example, the father was a bit of a confusing character for me at first, as I couldn't quite figure out what the film was trying to get across by spending so much time focused on him, but by the end it was clear that he was just as relevant to the message of the film as Sugihara was, even if he is kind of a piece of shit at times. Another thing that felt a little weird at first was Sakurai kinda just literally being a manic pixie dream girl, which is why I was so fucking happy her character took the direction it did because I feared she would end up feeling a little too fake and kinda bring the film down, but luckily I was totally wrong there.

On that note, there were so many fucking amazing scenes in this film, namely the confession scene, the following scene with the copper, and that last confrontation scene. The confession scene in particular hit me really fucking hard because I could totally feel the awkward, confused feelings of both characters, conflicted between their own desires and the convoluted and complicated rules surrounding their identities. When she says whatever it was along the lines of "I understand in my head, but my body is rejecting you", it hit like a truck. It is fucking insane how social conditioning and shit gets totally absorbed into your subconscious to the point where even if you understand what's wrong with it, it still takes a crazy amount of effort to consciously resist it. I also thought it was revealing how the first thing Sugihara said when coming out to her wasn't like "My dad's from North Korea", it was "I'm not Japanese", despite the fact that the dude was born and raised there, spoke the language fluently, and could easily pass as Japanese in his everyday life if he wanted to. I thought this was a brilliant writing choice as it alludes to the real crux of the issue here, that being the exclusive nature of the title of "Japanese". No matter what he does, he will never not be seen as something "different" in Japan, purely because of his blood ties. The reverse would also be the case if he were to go to Korea, as evident by his time at the Chosen school, where he was considered a race traitor. No matter where he goes, he will always be defined by what he isn't. This is what made that final confrontation scene with Sakurai so damn powerful. Kubozuka delivered his lines with so much goddamn passion, it felt genuinely cathartic after seeing everything he'd gone through. With lines like, “Lions don’t call themselves lions, you gave them that fucking name” and, “I’m a fucking question mark”, etc, this scene was genuinely so fucking good. Alright, I'll stop gushing now lol. 8/10

[miidia]

Hello again everyone. It's me, Goose. This time around we'll be talking about the famously mysterious and genre-defining ゆめにっき Yume Nikki (Dream Diary) released between 2004 and 2007.

I first learned about this game in late 2020 through YouTube algorithm suggestions. It seems like the YouTube algorithm has a pretty strong track record of igniting interest in retro products and aesthetics. I remember not too long ago when it was (in my humble opinion) majorly responsible for the resurgence in popularity of Japanese 'city pop'. At that time, I wasn't actually too drawn in by those video thumbnails. Yume Nikki just came off as some unremarkable pixelated game for wasting time. I was definitely picking up on the darker vibes, but it still crossed me as kind of disinteresting.

Then, eventually, I actually clicked one of those thumbnails. It must have been the sprite designs of the game. They were so bizarre and often very visceral. I became attracted to the visual style, the music, and then... the backstory. It turns out the background of Yume Nikki but more particularly its creator, the mononymous 'Kikiyama' (a Japanese surname), is shrouded in great anonymity. That's not my story to tell, however. Plenty of others have already done that job. There's even a great podcast on the whole mystery by a Lewis Denby I highly suggest.

Once digging into both the mystery behind the game's creation and the complex symbolism and messaging of the RPG, it becomes evident that heavy themes are at hand... suicide, sexual assault, violence, childhood trauma to name a few. Granted, all of this 'story' is carefully extracted from a very nebulous but frequently disturbing set of actions, environments, sprites, and sounds/music. Because of this, the story is understood differently by everyone. Personally, I find the social disorder/childhood trauma theories most convincing.

Yume Nikki is a walking RPG. In the most literal sense, you spend the entirety of the game walking, moving, from one place to the next. Actions and interactions are possible but relatively limited in what they have to offer. You are essentially responsible for collecting a number of 'eggs' within the interconnected but discrete maps of the game, and I figure this mechanic is less intended to be gameplay as much as it drives the player to explore all possible locations in the game. It's meditative and self driven. I feel sometimes when I play it that you really get out what you put it. It's a mirror in some ways, reflecting our stirring thoughts and questions back at us in statement form. With any sort of dialogue or inner monologue absent, the narrative of the game becomes your interpretation of Madotsuki (our main character, a shut-in young girl) and her waking life and dream environments. Madotsuki (窓付き) is not a real/common name in Japanese; it literally means 'window-fixed'. I wonder if this choice was meant to highlight Madotsuki's ruminating nature, exacerbated by physical isolation.

Yume Nikki, as I mentioned, is a genre-defining title which has incredibly clear influence on a number of widely known titles such as Omori, Undertale, and Lisa: The First to name a few. Of course, Yume Nikki itself draws strong stylistic inspiration from and directly references the Famicom's MOTHER (of the EarthBound series).

I'm finding it difficult to find an appropriate comment to conclude this post with. I feel like my journey with Yume Nikki is nowhere near over; I actively do and will continue to return to this game many times in the future. I think one day I would like to try making music in the style of the game. I have always been very moved by video game music. Needless to say, this conversation will continue through the discussions of other titles like those mentioned in this post. In the mean time, don't let Uboa get you!

Until next time,

Goose

EDIT: BONUS THOUGHTS!! Just as the final paragraph of this post suggests, I was struggling to find an interesting conclusion when writing this. I am returning to share that I often have Yume Nikki no commentary gameplay playing on my TV in the background of whatever I'm doing (or not doing). The game's atmosphere is so palpable... I could (and might even secretly want) to get let lost in this game. Tonight Mr. Goose is dealing with friction of wanting to have beautiful, inspiring, captivating thoughts while also wanting deeply to connect with the present moment. Peace.

[clairelsonao3]

Happy Storyteller Saturday!

Are there any places, objects, or even people in your stories inspired by or directly borrowed from your real life?

Share a snippet if you like 💜

Thanks for the ask, Winter! Happy STS! So sorry it took me almost until the next STS to answer! I wanted to make sure I did it justice.

And your answer is:

Yes, many. I think virtually everything I write is to some extent seeded in reality, no matter how wildly the story diverges from there.

My YA romantic thriller The Adored (which I haven't shared much about here yet) was heavily inspired by having grown up in a musical family (with members who were much more successful at it than I was!), singing in school choirs and musicals, and then later being involved in the indie music scene during college and grad school. Some of the MCs, their friends and family share personality traits with friends and even family members of mine, although altered enough to be unrecognizable (I hope!)

Even Good Slaves Never Break the Rules, as out-there as the plot is, has some drawn-from-life elements sprinkled around.

I started writing it almost eight years ago to entertain myself on a transatlantic sea voyage (that's worth another whole post altogether), and some of the characters and early situations (I won't say specifically which ones!) were inspired by that. In general, the unusual dynamics that pop up when strangers from vastly different origins and roles onboard are pressed together in a small space with no choice but to work and spend time together (although needless to say, very soon, my imagination wildly diverged from what actually happened 😂). There were numerous other influences of course, including several plays and other works of literature, but those are best suited for yet another post, I think.

And yes, I did live in Arizona and even went to university there [although the one I attended has been ported over to the larger city to the north for plot purposes], though I didn't grow up there and have lived abroad for years now. (I do go back frequently, however). The excerpt I'm going to use -- after much thinking and probably some more interesting snippets I'm missing -- has to do with that. As it happens, the university (and its fictional, relocated counterpart) is actually world-famous for its research on both optics and astronomy, which explains why it's host to one of the world's largest liquid mirror telescope labs -- which of course found its way into GSNBTR, only appropriate given the characters' interests in science.

The direct route to the mirror telescope was in a red brick building not entirely on the other side of campus, but almost.

"Hey, it's — what are you doing?" she exclaimed, chasing after him. "You’re going in completely the wrong direction.” 

“Maybe it would help if you actually told me where we’re going.” 

“Maybe it would help if you’d listen to anything I said!"

He crossed his arms impatiently. "Well?"

"The mirror telescope building,” she said. “To meet someone named Milagros.”

To her shock, his whole expression transformed before her eyes. “Wait. Mirror telescope? The Zenith telescope?”

“Yeah, it’s made out of liquid — "

“Liquid mercury, I know," he continued eagerly. "In a paraboloid shape. It’s the biggest in the world outside of the Himalayas. They’re now testing the same technology in microgravity to see if they can build one like it in a crater on the moon.” 

If she weren’t still so angry, she might have actually smiled at how this sudden overload of sheer science-geekery had his eyes shining like she hadn’t seen them shine in days.

Lastly, anything concerning business, finance, and/or the world of startups and technology is drawn partially from my interest in those topics I developed writing about them as part of my IRL writing job.

Thanks for a great question!

[giantologist]

hello professor! I've been a reader of your work for a few years now, though I admit that I still have a ways to go.

I live in a fairly large rural town with not many giants around save for one giantess, coming in at a little over 30 feet. She's a wonderful lady, even on the worst of days, and is just generally a pleasure to be around. We've been working together as farmhands for a few months now on our neighbor's land, and she's helped me greatly, many times. Beyond helping me down from high places, and shooing off coyotes, she's lent me many a scarf and handkerchief through these chilly months. Of course they've been returned, but I've been a lifelong textile smith, and I'd like to make her a proper coat.

Is this appropriate? I know of many people who turn up their nose at gifted clothing, taking it to mean I don't think they can dress themselves. It would be made from spun wool, seeing as we're both shepherdesses and it makes economic sense, but I also don't want to offend by using such a cheap material.

Beyond the gift itself, is it inappropriate to randomly share gifts? Should I wait until a holiday? Is there a major gift giving holiday that she might celebrate?

Forgive my cluelessness, but I'm not yet beyond my teenage years, and I desperately want to be as polite as I can be.

I patiently await your reply,

-Embarrassed and anonymous

p.s. (I tried to write this out once before, but tumblr closed out before I could finish, so if you see a half written out query with the same points as this, please ignore it, I'm already mortified on my own)

Dear Embarrassed and anonymous,

In the kindest way possible, I think you are vastly overthinking the situation. It is a human trait to fuss and bother over social intricacies, and I say that while growing annoyed at the sheer number of forks I have to keep track of for the awful dinner parties I'm invited to.

Gifts in giant culture are important, especially those made by your own hand. They demonstrate that you think about the recipient when apart from them, and that you put thought into making them happy. Refusing or forgetting to take a given gift is something considered quite rude. If it's because you really don't need it, you accept it and re-give it. A special event doesn't have to be the only time you give, but if that makes you feel more comfortable, I'd suggest the upcoming summer solstice.

As for your material choice, let me ask you this: how often does she wear fine silks and imported linens? Wool is a wonderful material, I have no doubt you know how insulating it is, and it makes it all the more intimate and special. Just the fact that you wish to take on such a challenge for her will be more than enough, as such a coat will no doubt need three to carry.

In summary, don't trouble yourself about the details. Worry is simply screaming for a cliff you haven't fallen from.

Professor J Finch

[bungostraydyke]

Dazai and Chuuya - Historical Friends - A (Likely) One-off Fluff Fic

I've had this gathering dust in my docs for a while, if people really want more I will but I don't have current plans to expand on it

Chapter 1: Bistros and Bickering

“Do I really need to drink this? It looks like I should start getting the rope ready now, and that beam above us looks pretty sturdy,”.

“Just try it, asshole. I paid a lot for this, and I really wanted to share it with you. Don’t make me regret burning a hundred thousand yen for this dinner,”. Despite Chuuya’s crude language, Dazai could tell he was being genuine. Dazai faintly recognized the stylized label on the bottle, the violet and red swirl, with the twisting writing spelling out “Gravity”.

“Well I can’t say no to something this pricey, at least not from a bottle this pretentious,” Dazai remarked as he tipped back a tiny sip. To his surprise, it didn’t taste like any wine he had ever had. It felt heavy, and it left a sweet and wispy note as it went down. It barely even tasted alcoholic.

“Is there even alcohol in this? It tastes like a child’s mocktail,”. Despite Dazai’s admonishment he resentingly enjoyed it a lot. He could never admit it to Chuuya of course, giving him that joy and smugness would make him swan dive into the nearest riverbed.

“Why did I even bother inviting you here? I could’ve been enjoying a bottle of this at home for at least a third the price right now,” albeit Chuuya knew exactly why he had invited him.

“I assume so you could rub your fancy wine in my face? At least when I drink it actually has alcohol in it,”.

“Like you know anything about alcohol, you put your goddamn scotch on ice,”.

“Clearly you don’t either. I don’t even drink scotch, my whisky is clearly Japanese,”.

As the two bickered, there was something in the air. It wasn’t just the smell of wine and spirits either, there was clearly emotion flowing as well. It was a twisted sort, kinked all over with pretension and feelings left unsaid. As they threw back their respective drinks between breaths, they caught each other’s eyes. Eyes that looked like a pale sky meeting eyes of deep brown. It gave them pause, at least long enough to notice the waiter was coming with their meals. As the plates were placed down, a scowl immediately started growing on Chuuya’s face.

“What the hell is that? Are you seriously going to wash down my wine with a cheap piece of garbage like that?” Chuuya snarked while pointing accusingly at Dazai’s plate. It featured a patterned assortment of crab tempura, forming a ring around a small dish of dipping sauce, topped with a metal basket of french fries held suspended above the sauce. Even given his remarks, Chuuya had to admit to himself that it smelled pretty great.

“At least my meal doesn’t cost as much as this whole table, I could’ve bought five plates of crabs for that single piece of cow,”.

“It’s not a piece of cow, you asshole! This is filet mignon! You can’t replicate such a rich taste with heaps of table salt and SMG!”

“For your information, it’s actually MSG,” Dazai snarked while further adding to Chuuya’s point by vigorously twisting the salt shaker. “I am fairly sure my meal does not contain a Sub-Machine Gun,”.

“Both of them are still pieces of artificial and chemical crap! Maybe the bullets would actually be healthier for you!”

“At least there we have something we can actually agree on,” Dazai admitted as he raised his glass.

To Chuuya’s surprise, he found himself raising his maroon wine glass in turn, clinking it against Dazai’s choice of not-scotch.

It caught both of them off guard, but it took Dazai only seconds to recover, preparing his next barb. “At least your ‘filet mignon’ comes with some appropriately small potatoes, after all anything bigger might give you a tummy ache,”.

“Why you! These are new potatoes! Not every potato can be the giant pieces of dirt that go on to make your oily-ass french fries!”

“You know Chuuya, you are swearing a lot for such a fancy restaurant. Maybe one of these would help to cleanse your vocal palette,” Dazai gave a blank look as he gently placed the biggest and saltiest fry right in the center of the filet mignon.

Chuuya was about to blow a fuse, but he caught hold of himself and took a deep breath. He narrowed his eyes and proceeded to cut off a small piece of the meat with the whole fry on top, eating both while staring right at Dazai. Dazai was barely stifling back a huge laugh as he watched Chuuya slowly pain himself trying to eat both while enjoying the meat. To Dazai’s surprise though, Chuuya’s look changed to one of amazement.

“I hate to admit it, but these are great, gimme some of yours,” Dazai was shocked as he saw how genuine Chuuya looked as he said it.

“Fiiine, but only if I can have a piece of your ‘filet mignon’ worth exactly two thousand yen,”.

“Just try to enjoy it, asshole. I really looked forward to this,” Chuuya resigned as he cut off a corner piece of the meat and offered it right on top of the fry basket.

Dazai picked the piece up like he would if it was any other food and popped it in his mouth. It was like nothing he had ever had, the savory fattiness marbling with the chew of the pork, like a piece of bacon worth a billion yen. His eyes grew to the size of saucers, and began to eye up the rest of Chuuya’s plate. After a second, he lunged, snatching the entire piece and stuffing it into his mouth.

“Why you! You just ate a week’s paycheck in one bite!” Chuuya’s eyes swiveled back and forth looking for an appropriate response. Eventually, he glowed red and watched with mirth as Dazai’s whole plate floated slowly over to Chuuya’s side of the table.

“Here, let me make room for you!” Dazai quickly grabbed the edge of Chuuya’s plate, and roughly dragged it over to his side. The meat may have been gone, but the sides were still delectable.

Chuuya raised his finger like he wanted to say something, but stopped himself. Instead he just grabbed a crab and took a small bite from the legs. Dazai cackled as Chuuya proceeded to scarf down both that crab and the rest of the pile.

Dazai was still chuckling to himself as they split the bill and walked out holding a box of leftovers. Not much was left of either one's meal, but it would still be pretty good the next day. They walked up to the side of the curb, and both stopped.

“I never thought I would admit this, but I had a great time. I almost don’t regret that you wasted my filet mignon in one bite,”.

“Now what’s all this about, the Great Chuuya, actually showing a genuine emotion? Now this truly is a surprising night,”.

“Why you…” Chuuya started, but tapered off into a small laugh. Dazai had never seen him show a real smile. It was warm and quiet, like a street lamp.

Dazai started to lean in, but he stopped himself, unsure what he was doing. Chuuya promptly took advantage and leapt towards him, wrapping his arms around Dazai’s waist. The moment seemed like it lasted forever, frozen in both shock and warmth. They slowly separated from each other, and walked off, Chuuya giving a small wave and blushing while looking at the ground as Dazai strolled off into the distance, whistling a tune with hands in his trench coat pockets.

[bestfriend491]

Hey everyone. 👋🏾🫤

How are you all doing? 🤍 How has your day been? Have you eaten today? I hope everyone is alright. 🫶🏾

So this is just gonna be a little post to get some much needed things off my chest. I don't want to make it too long but a lot has been weighing on my head over the last week so I can't be too sure. But either way, here we go...

For the past 5 months, I've been blessed to be able to contribute to the Black Panther Fandom on here (specifically the Okoye side of it), and the love that I have received has been tremendously heartwarming and something that I am so grateful for. 🥹💕

Nothing bad has happened in particular, but in light of some things I've seen on here lately regardingthis issue, I think it's time for me to do some sharing. I don't like people knowing my business but I do think that its only fair that people know the bare minimum about me. So here I go ...

I am 15 years old.

By that fact it is clear that I am a minor.

It's not really a big deal, as I have never interacted or created any adult, explicit and 18+ content on here but for the sake of my own sanity and having a clearer head, I think it's best if people know this.

If this fact makes you uncomfortable and you would prefer to no longer read, follow, or interact with my content; that's okay and I wish you well, but I'm still going to be making my fair share of content.

I just don't want people to come to a conclusion about my age now and then have to face backlash and be attacked in 5 years time when people see that I'm barely an adult by then and realise that they were once reading a minor's work.

Again, I want to emphasize how much I have avoided reading, writing, and interacting with grown 18+ content.

I am a child and I know that. I have, however, recklessly followed account's that might not be comfortable with someone my age seeing any of their content (SFW included) but that was at the begining of my tumblr journey and I have done my part in correcting my wrong choices and apologising to the respective people.

I'm really proud of what I have accomplished and pushed myself to do over this past nearly half a year, and because I feel like I've acted quite appropriately (despite the above mentioned) I really don't think that I have done anything wrong because I haven't placed anyone in any potentially risky situations.

Of course, I realise that even with me never writing 18+ content and never plannning to, some people still might decide that it's time to unfollow and again that's completely okay. I really would prefer for you to do what you think is best for you.

I plan to post this weekend and continue posting regularly from then on.

That's all, really.

Bye 👋🏾🥹🤍

(PS.- Keep it cute if you have something to say to me in these comments or in my ask box. I am a soft soul that has easily provocable anxiety but I also have enough self-worth, self-confidence, and intelligence to know that I haven't done anything crucifiable and I won't be verbally assaulted by anyone if they're having a bad day and want to take it out on somebody.)

[ageless-aislynn]

Okay, frens, I’m about to probably be a lot less available once NaNo starts tomorrow. Which is kinda saying something, given how I’ve been pretty absent lately. Being sick sucks rocks through a straw. 😕

However, the exceptions will be if:

I’m stalling (despite the fact I’m probably panicking that I’m not writing at the same time 🤷‍♀️)

I’m blocked (in which case I might ask for prompts just to try to get something short going again)

My writering muse* is being a little jerk (there’s no cure for this 😣😛)

(*I just caught this weird typo and left it because “writering muse” felt appropriate for some reason, lol, kinda like she’s wandering around, maybe gonna write eventually... 😛)

Again, depending on how I feel/how things are going, I may start editing and posting things just to give me a much-needed serotonin boost. We’ll see!

I’m hoping going to write “The Price” (Frosthunter, The Flash, NSFW) in its entirety because I have a total of one (1) person at AO3 who has politely asked me about it a couple of times over the past - what, year? Two years? - since I first mentioned wanting to write it. Just when I’m about give up on it, this lovely person writes me a sweet note saying how they hope I’m doing well and that I’ll still write it one day. And that gives me the strength to keep fighting on, lol!

Despite the fact that, well, Zoom isn’t usually a laugh riot, “The Price” is intended to be rather explicit smut with a humorous slant. Just how explicit and how humorous... we’ll find out together! Even if it’s just me and that one lone person over at AO3, lol!

(If you ever wonder if your comment will make a difference, then I can promise you that yes, it definitely does. Just knowing that somebody cares is SO important. 🤗)

Secondly, I want to finish “Cupid’s Kiss” (Snowells, The Flash, NSFW) and “Guardian Angel” (Snowells, The Flash) at long last. 🤞😣🤞

This will probably close out my Flash fics for now. I wish I could’ve gotten them done sooner but... Life, right? 😕 I hope that anybody who still cares how they ended will get the chance to see them.

“Try” (aka the Big Beast of ReverseSnowThawne) still might randomly appear one day, despite being a thing that exactly zero (0) people probably want to read, lol. But I still want to see how it all works out and it has worldbuilding and there are already 3 chapters written so... We’ll see. It definitely has enough mileage to it to give me the 50k for this NaNo.

Over in the world of Halo... “15 Minutes” chapter 6 (John/Reader) and “Recreation” chapter 3 (Kai/maleReader) are in pre-planning. (“15 Minutes” is the rare beast of mine in that I actually have so many events still in store for it that I’ve done an outline. As a long-time pantser, that’s saying something, lol!)

“Choices” (tentative title, Noble Team x Reader, Halo: Reach) is something I’m still very excited about! It starts with the premise in chapter 1 where the reader meets Noble Team. At the end of ch1, you’ll choose who you’re going to go with and there will be links to the appropriate chapter that will conclude the story with you and either Carter, Kat, Jun, Emile, Jorge or Six (male and female versions).

I’ve always loved Choose Your Own Adventure type stories and after reading @lialacleaf​‘s awesome and super fun Master Chief x Reader interactive fic “The Medic,” I was inspired to try my own variation (mine is, of course, a very simplified version, you only make that one choice of who you’re going with but still! Similiar if simpler! 😁)

If you’d like to be tagged for any of that, just let me know. 😉

Flash Masterlist

Halo Masterlist

Anyway, that’s where I’m at right now. I have only a really basic NaNo playlist done but that can fall into place as we go along. 🎵💃🎵 I just mainly gravitate to songs with a good beat to type to, lol! This one is already on there...

“Sing Along” - Sturgill Simpson

Noble Team is kinda running to the beat in my GIF, lol! 🤷‍♀️😂

Anyway, it’s helpful to me to spell out my goals, hence why I wrote all of this. 😉 Good luck to those who are also participating in NaNo and happy November to those who aren’t!

🤗💖

[thatonekawaiigirl13]

Who Said Death Was Easy? [Death Note] Chapter Fifty-eight: Sleepless

Chapter Fifty-eight: Sleepless

[A/N: My apologies for the delay! I made this chapter a bit longer than usual, I hope that makes up for being a bit late lol. I got sick and it took me absolutely forever to recover, so I was unable to write for a while. Anyway, please let me know what you think! Any and all comments are appreciated! I’m excited to finally have this update posted! -Stephanie]

Keiko’s POV:

The light of the moon shone in through the window, reminding Keiko of how late it was that night. The clock ticked on and on in the corner of the room as she tossed and turned. Keiko let out a soft sigh in defeat as she leaned back into her comforter. After hours of trying to get some shut eye, she had finally given up. Despite the exhaustion and clear lack of sleep, it appeared that there would be no slumber for her tonight. That much was clear, Keiko had accepted her disappointing fate. Yet another sleepless night, which was becoming somewhat of a common occurrence for her.  

It’s no wonder that the detective has raccoon level looking eye bags. He must deal with this all the time, huh? 

Keiko wondered how many sleepless nights he had to endure for him to look like that. She was certain that she was slowly catching up, especially with the way that the case was looking now. There was too much to worry about, too much that could potentially go wrong. 

Well great, looks like I’m about to be the next raccoon, the thought made Keiko let out a small laugh as she lay in her bed, trying to no avail to get comfortable. It’s way too late for this, way too late for anything productive, unfortunately…not that there’s a lot going on right now anyway. What else is there to do but agonize about the future?   

Although the investigation had come to a halt: no news, no leads, no nothing, there was still a lot on her mind. To be specific, there were two people on her mind. Namely, a certain raven haired detective and, well, Kira, aka Light Yagami. Needless to say, Keiko’s heart and her head were in a battle. A battle that felt it had no end, one she had been fighting for what seemed like a while now, whether she consciously knew it or not.

Keiko felt rather torn, her heart was saying one thing while her head was screaming at her to be logical. While her heart yearned for L, she had to keep up pretenses with Light. That was something she had no choice in, something she felt she had to do. Here she was, acting as a doting girlfriend, acting as a fool once more, but this time on purpose. Unfortunately for her, it was getting harder and harder to pretend that she held feelings for her so-called boyfriend. This whole act was slowly draining her. She had to keep reminding herself why she was doing all of this in the first place. That was the only way for her to keep on going in her state, her current sleep deprived state. 

Keep in mind, it’s all for L…and for the case, of course. That’s also important, but…for both of them…especially for L, though… to keep him alive… 

Keiko had to admit, if it helped L’s life be spared, then it would be totally worth it in the long run. That was what she had to try to remind herself in order to keep going. To keep pretending, to keep going with this plan of hers. It seemed silly, but feeding into Light’s ego and acting as his foolish yet loving girlfriend seemed to be working. He had no idea it was all just a ruse, something that she was almost a little proud of in a weird way. After all, he had spent so much time fooling Keiko, it was only right for her to get her own little revenge. 

Revenge. If you can even call it that…that’s a rather funny term for what it is, it doesn’t seem very appropriate. Not with everything that's been going on lately. 

Keiko let out a bitter laugh. Not that it was really much of a revenge, it was more like a chore. A chore that she had to do in order to ensure that L kept living and breathing. She supposed she should feel a little guilty, fooling her ex-boyfriend turned fake real-boyfriend. However Keiko couldn’t deny that a small yet bitter part of her thought that Light deserved a taste of his own medicine. She was still human, of course. Keiko supposed that she was allowed to feel that way, especially given the gravity of the current situation. It was a lot to handle, a lot to deal with, and it was simply tiring. Whether he had meant to or not, he had dragged Keiko into this whole Kira investigation mess to begin with. When he had asked her to study, when he had invited her on that date, and probably even before that. 

Well hell, if you think about it, without Light, there would be no Kira and no Kira investigation to begin with! Keiko shuddered, but because of him and this notebook of his, a lot has changed over the past few months…I’ve also changed in these last few months. Unfortunately, not much of it has been for the better…of course, meeting L and being on the Task Force was a great opportunity, but knowing who Kira is now…knowing he’s been close to me this whole time…it’s a lot to handle. Especially when you have to act like you don’t know anything. When you have to protect someone precious to you. It makes it that much harder to sit back and pretend that everything is all okay. This whole situation is whacked up and unfair. It’s unfair to me and to everyone else on the Task Force. I suppose it’s especially unfair for Light’s father, who is also blissfully unaware of his son’s true identity…and L of course…everything and everyone, all because of Light. It’s weird to think about sometimes…it’s weird seeing him acting like normal… it almost hurts, in a way. It’s agonizing, and yet, I can’t do anything about it, at least not yet…

Keiko turned over in her bed, thinking back to the other day, the day she and Light had gone for a walk outside around headquarters. It had been the first time she and Light had been alone like that for a little while. Most of the time, L or someone else from the Task Force was nearby, or at least a room or two away. This was in part due to the investigation, it was also partially due to Keiko not allowing herself to be alone with him. However, there were some situations that were unfortunately unavoidable, the other day being one of them. 

“Keiko-chan, would you like to go for a walk around the building?” Light caressed her thumb, which would have been a sweet enough sentiment, had he not been Kira. Keiko knew then and there what she had to do. She looked up at her boyfriend, giving a small nod in return to his question. It was not something she particularly wanted to do, but it was something that she felt was necessary. 

Keiko had to admit, Light’s sudden request had thrown her off guard, but she had willingly accepted his offer. There wasn’t much of a reason for her to refuse, she had to make her own performance of being a loving girlfriend believable. Everything seemed to be going well, Light seemed none the wiser. Not that he would have noticed anything off anyway, he had been in too good of a mood the other day. Even so, as long as Light believed that Keiko was in love with him she figured she was in the clear. 

Hanging out with Light alone was now one of her least favorite pastimes, it was somehow awkward and uncomfortable for her. She had to be on her guard, she had to pretend. Despite this, it had allowed her to better gauge what was on his mind, with the case and with their relationship itself. Light was pretty talkative and chipper while on the walk, which probably meant that he seemed to think he had won. Although it didn’t seem like a good thing, it was actually a blessing. That meant he wouldn’t be on his guard, at least not around Keiko it seemed. From what she saw, he either genuinely liked her or he was an extremely good actor, as he seemed happy to spend time with her. She wasn’t sure which was worse, nor did she want to know how Light truly felt about her at the time. Or rather, she wasn’t sure if she wanted to know how Kira truly felt about her.

Not that it matters…Light’s hurt me deeply, I can’t be bothered caring what he thinks about me, not when he’s Kira. Not when there’s so much at stake, not when Light’s been corrupted by this so-called ‘death note’. It’s a little hard to read his intentions, sure, but I believe that keeping him happy is key to helping L. Light can’t be suspicious of me, he can’t know that I know he’s actually Kira. Or that I have feelings for someone else that isn’t him. Once again, this is all for the case, but most importantly, it’s also for L. After all, he’s the one that’s in the most danger right now. 

The thought of the raven haired detective made Keiko shiver, though she wasn’t sure if it was from nerves or excitement. Thinking back, their interaction was even stranger than what she had experienced during her walk the other day. With Light, she at least knew how to behave and she knew how Light would be expected to behave. On the other hand, she never knew what she was going to get with the detective. She never knew whether he was going to be sweet or not, how he felt, how he was going to act or say around her. L was certainly an enigma, a wildcard, someone that Keiko felt she would never truly figure out. 

What is with that? What is with him? I can’t believe him…seriously. Him saying things like ‘Please, always call me L whenever we’re alone’ and ‘Am I making you nervous?’ in the same conversation is enough to drive me insane! I can’t believe it, what was his motive? It almost seemed…well it almost seemed like he was trying to get a confession out of me. It’s quite obvious that he must know I have some feelings for him, so what was his goal? That man…did he seriously want me to tell him how I felt? There’s no way, right? Now isn’t quite an ideal time to try to be romantic…but what else would make sense? Was he just trying to fluster me again? For what reason, just for fun or something? Why does he act like this? Does he like seeing me like that? He’s so frustrating, as usual. 

Keiko, having long given up on sleep, sat up in her bed. Her gaze lingered on the window beside her, watching the shadows dance in the breeze as she tried to fight a yawn. It was past three in the morning, but that wasn’t what Keiko was concerned about at all. Her mind was still spinning, especially with thoughts of L. It was not what she should be thinking about, but thinking of L was a nice way to get Light and the whole pretending to be his girlfriend thing away from her thoughts. A nice distraction from her current reality.

Although…the fact that he wants me to call him L when we’re alone… that’s almost kind of sweet. It’s not a confession on his end either but, it has to mean something, right? I already know that he trusts me, this is just further proof of that. I suppose now isn’t the time to pursue a romance, if you could even call it that, but with the way he’s been behaving when we’re alone lately, it’s been making me wonder. Does L feel the same way about me? Is there a chance, even if it is a bit slim, that he’d want to be with me…? Or am I just looking too much into things? Probably the latter, but I suppose I wouldn’t be me if I were to just give up hope…at this point, there’s no use denying it. I’m in love with him, and it would be nice if he were to feel the same way, even just a little bit… 

/meanwhile/ 

L’s POV:

The detective sat up in his chair, resting a hand on his chin. Although it was common for L to pull an all-nighter, it was rather uncommon for him to be thinking of much else but the task at hand, i.e. the Kira case itself. Tonight, however, was a little different. Tonight he found his thoughts leading back to one person in particular. A charming young woman, as Watari had pointed out before, one with a charming smile. A charming young woman who happened to be fake dating a mass murderer under the nickname of ‘Kira’, a young woman who also happened to make his heart skip a beat even when she wasn’t around. Or rather several beats. No matter how hard he had tried in the past, he just couldn't shake off this fluttery feeling. It was only growing stronger and stronger with each passing day, which L knew was something he couldn’t quite ignore anymore. 

Given Watari’s previous advice, he was questioning himself. Every action, every reaction, whether big or small, seemed to be a big deal to him now if she was in the equation. Unfortunately for him, his mind was still reeling from the events of the other night. It was something seemingly small compared to other times alone with her, yet the conversation between them stuck with him. Not exactly the content of the conversation but its meaning, and rather, all the words that were left unspoken between them. All because of a simple question that he found he was unable to stop himself from asking. 

What was I thinking? ‘Am I making you nervous’? I have to admit…it’s unlike me to get so swept away in the moment and lose almost all rational thinking…but with her around, it’s something that’s been happening more and more frequently. Was I truly trying to get a confession out of her? I already know of her feelings for me, I know that she must truly care about me…but did I want her to express these feelings out loud? I know it would be dangerous for either of us to crack, to give in to desire. And yet…why do I feel this way? Why do I just want to give in, even if it means risking it all?

The air conditioning in the main room kicked on, causing a slight disturbance. However, L barely moved at all from his spot. There were still many things on his mind, many things regarding a certain Keiko Kagami. 

I suppose I have to admit, on some level, I truly wanted her to tell me…even though it’s selfish, I wanted to get a rise out of her. I wanted her to admit her feelings for me, to tell me how much she cares. Maybe even…that she’s in love with me…  

L let out a breath. Although he had many papers littered below him, he had to admit, he wasn’t actually paying attention. Instead all he could think about was Keiko and her hair and how good she smelled. Everything about her was inviting to him, everything seemed so intriguing. He had been trying for so long to stop himself from having these feelings, but what for? What was the point? The detective was starting to wonder. He hadn’t exactly been lonely before, but he hadn’t exactly been happy or satisfied either. He merely spent his time buried in his work, all the cases that he covered, he had made that his life. It was all he knew really. All this time he had his guard up, with no other real companionship other than Watari. 

Do I want to continue living my life like that? Is that what I truly want? Or am I starting to want something else right now, because of my feelings for her? 

It appeared that Keiko had been slowly but surely tearing down those walls that he had built for himself over the years. He used to imagine growing old alone, solving many cases along the way in silence, but now he wondered once more if he wanted a future like that. A future alone, without anyone else in it. A future at all, assuming he survived the Kira investigation. L feared he was starting to imagine the impossible; he was starting to covet a life with someone else by his side. A life he had never imagined before until now. A life with a particular someone, someone other than Watari. Someone very charming, someone who was risking her life in order to save his own. Someone that he now recognized he was in love with. 

However…is that even possible?

/the next day/

Keiko’s POV:

Although she had been avoiding him for the last day or so, Keiko knew she had to stop at some point. This was something inevitable, she knew she had to convene with the great detective alone. To her knowledge, everyone else had gone to bed an hour or so ago, leaving just herself and L awake. She, of course, had ‘pretended’ to go to bed a while ago to no avail. And now, here she was, hyping herself up to return back to the main room and face the music. It was time, after all, to continue on with their plan. She had to remind herself, it was no use to dilly dally, not anymore than she already had. 

Let’s go…you can do this! At least it isn’t quite as embarrassing of a situation as it could’ve been, yeah? Keiko gave a shudder as she remembered her dream of the detective she’d had after they kissed that one night a few weeks back. It felt like forever ago now, and yet the memory of their interaction was still burned into her mind. She shook that dangerous thought away, but she wasn’t quite unable to shake the feeling of their kiss from her lips that somehow ached for more.

Nononono. Now isn’t the time. There’s an investigation with a lot on the line, keep it moving! Come on, just a few steps more to go. 

Keiko leaned forward, reaching at the door handle in front of her. With a soft swoop, she entered the room and stepped inside. The room was quiet, empty except for the great detective himself. As she had expected, L was in his signature spot in front of one of the main computers. There were stacks of papers scattered all around him on the desk. 

Well, that’s no surprise there…for being unpredictable, there are still aspects of him that are pretty predictable. I thought it was a little weird at first, all those habits of his, but now it just seems endearing. He’s so weird…well, he’s definitely L. 

His eyes appeared to be glued to the papers, scanning each page thoroughly before flipping to the next. Like her, he also looked rather tired, as evidenced by bigger than usual eyebags. Despite this, he looked rather cute in a dorky way, Keiko noted. It appeared he had showered recently, his shampoo smelled just like the sweets he ate, presumably strawberry. However, his hair was sticking out in random directions, giving Keiko the urge to run her fingers through in an attempt to fix it. She resisted this urge, feeling rather nervous for a multitude of reasons as she sat down in the chair next to him. 

“Hello, L,” Keiko heard herself say as she settled into her chair. She hoped she sounded more confident than she was feeling. At least her voice hadn’t shook and she had no sign of stuttering yet, which she considered a victory. Calling him ‘L’ when they were alone still seemed rather intimate. Rather too intimate for just being, dare she say it, friends. Or whatever the hell they were, Keiko honestly wasn’t sure what to think anymore. It wasn’t like they had a label for a detective-friend-crush-mixed bag companion that could be summed up in one word. It would be quite the feat, though, if there were such a word. 

The detective gave a nod in her direction, slowly looking up from his array of papers. If he seemed shocked to see her, he didn’t show it. Keiko had figured he probably knew she would appear sometime over the next week or so. After all, they still had much to discuss regarding everything that was going on, something that Keiko was very aware of. Everything that was going on with the case, of course, and their plans for secretly working around Light. That was the most important thing that they had to deal with: handling Light and making sure he remained unaware of their sneaking around and their plans. It helped that he thought had won, meaning that they could catch him off guard if they played their cards right. Needless to say there was a lot for the two of them to talk about. 

Speaking of which…isn’t he going to say something…? Did I do something wrong with calling him ‘L’? Is that it? Was he just teasing me before? No, no it doesn’t quite seem like it, with how serious he was being…but then…why is he being so silent? I’m not sure what to make of this, it’s making me even more anxious.

Keiko gave a small cough, waiting for the detective to speak. It wasn’t like he was avoiding her or anything, as she could feel his dark brown eyes staring her down. She was quiet, feeling the heat on her cheeks as he looked at her, scanning her up and down. Somehow she found herself meeting his gaze, her own boldness shocking her. She noticed there was something about how he looked at her, how he was studying her, a subtle softness in his demeanor, something that made Keiko wonder things she supposed she shouldn’t be wondering. Not the right time to wonder, and certainly not the right circumstances. 

Wondering is dangerous, she reminded herself. Wondering may lead to other dangerous things, like longing and desire, so keep focused on the task at hand… 

After what felt like ages, the detective let out a breath, finally breaking their quiet yet intense eye contact. It appeared he was in deep thought as well about something, though she was sure he wasn't about to share what. However, that didn’t stop her from wondering, not when she could feel herself boiling over with both curiosity and confusion. There were too many questions that she didn’t know the answers to, far too many for her taste. 

What was that all about? Why did he look at me like that? It was almost as if…like that other night…he had the same look in his eyes, didn’t he…? Oh my gosh, no way, he isn’t nervous around me is he? That can’t be it, right? He’s been acting rather odd lately, well more odd than usual, that is. 

There was a short pause, but then the detective finally spoke. His tone was light, almost soft, and his gaze still lingered on her own. “Can’t sleep?” 

‘Can’t sleep’?! After all of that staring…and his total lack of a proper greeting…that’s all I get? Seriously…? How disappointing…and awkward. I wonder, even though I really shouldn’t be wondering…

Keiko let out a hum at his sudden question, hoping her disappointment didn’t show on her face at his question. It wasn’t like she had a real reason to be disappointed, not when she already knew his slightly warped personality. It was her own fault that she had high hopes for almost no reason. This was L she was talking to, he wasn’t exactly eloquent most of the time. “No. I suppose not.”

L gave a nod, gesturing towards the papers that were littered in front of him. “Me neither, as you can see.”

“I can’t say I’m surprised. It wasn’t like you really slept much to begin with, eh?” Keiko replied, raising her eyebrows a little, her lips curling into a smile as she looked over at him. “Those raccoon eyes you got there are looking pretty intense.”

Though it’s not like I look any better. Not at the moment. How embarrassing, though I’m sure L isn’t one to judge. Not like he could judge, not in his state. 

It was small, but she could see his mouth twitch a little at her joke, “a raccoon? Well, you got me there. I’m like a raccoon, yes.”

“Raccoons can be pretty cute, you know.”

Oh gosh. What. Did. I. Just. Say? Keiko, seriously? What do you have to say for yourself right now? Why don’t you ever think before you blurt things out loud?

She mentally slapped herself. Keiko had to admit, it just rolled off her tongue before she could think to stop herself. She wasn’t sure what it was, but for whatever reason, she had a knack for embarrassing herself in front of the world's greatest detective. That much was very apparent, being around him made her somewhat of a mess. 

“You really think so? A cute raccoon, eh? Good to know.”

The sound of his voice broke through her thoughts, bringing her back to the present. Despite the fact she was humiliated once again, she wanted to try and keep her pride. Whatever was left of it, at least. But she just couldn’t think of what to say, not with his eyes still gazing intently into her own. Needless to say, it was rather annoying. 

Oh no, oh no. Now what? Think, Keiko, think. 

Keiko didn’t quite want to switch topics quite yet, but it wasn’t like the conversation was flowing very well. Or much at all, at this point. It was more a staring contest than a conversation, much to her chagrin. A staring contest that she felt she would soon lose, as his gaze seemed to linger far too long. 

Oh well. Just laugh and move on, yeah? Yeah, right. Just…move on…quickly! Say something now!

She was about to open her mouth when she suddenly heard L shuffling about beside her. Keiko paused for a moment, making her muster out a small, “hmm, yes?”

“Were you about to say something, Keiko-chan?”

What was that, Keiko-chan? Um. Is he…seriously calling me that? Is that because I was so casual with calling him L earlier or is it something else? Nevermind, nevermind, so not the time right now…

“Yes, but it’s- well, I don’t want to interrupt you,” Keiko managed to get out, officially losing all hope in trying to regain her pride. She hadn’t even been alone with him a full ten minutes and she had already managed to make a fool of herself. At least it wasn’t the first time, and she was convinced that it would not be the last time, not with the way things were looking. At least she was more comfortable around him, or rather, she was getting used to embarrassing herself around him. At this point, it was nothing new. 

“Please, go ahead,” the detective waved his hand at her, inviting her to keep on going. “It’s nothing important, you listen to me talk all the time.”

“Uh, right, sure.” Keiko found herself increasingly confused and red, but he seemed intent on listening. “If you’re certain.”

Well. That’s…definitely unlike him…once again, he’s been rather odd lately.  

To her amazement, she managed to continue on without faltering. L’s intense gaze, however, didn’t waver as she let out a breath. She was all nerves, “since you insist, I was just going to ask you…has there been any news from Aiber or Wedy? Y’know…regarding the exchange a few days prior? I was thinking that we should check in and figure out how we should proceed from here on out.”

“What, no more talk on how cute raccoons can be?” the detective quipped, letting out a small chuckle. He seemed to be enjoying her embarrassment, her clear annoyance at his teasing, all of it. It was clear he was quite amused, given the slight smirk on his face. 

And there it is, he’s teasing me again! I should’ve known he wasn’t going to just let it go…not that easily, anyway.  Why did I mention raccoons in the first place? They must’ve been on my mind since I’ve not been sleeping much lately. 

“You wish,” Keiko heard herself say, fighting an attempt at rolling her eyes. Her little rebuttal wasn’t as strong as she wanted it to be, but she kept going, “however it’s important that we discuss this…”

The look on her face must’ve given her away, because L seemed to waver a little, shifting in his seat before her. It seemed he had enough of punishing her, as he finally relented. Or perhaps, he was more than satisfied with the reaction he had gotten, Keiko wasn’t sure. 

“Alright, alright, fine.” The detective gave a nod, “yes, as I mentioned before, Kagami-san, they are the best in their respective fields. We have gotten some new information regarding the situation. A lot of new information, thanks to them. That’s what this stack of papers is about, actually.” 

Well…back to Kagami-san, are we? Hm. Noted.

“Wonderful,” Keiko let out a breath, feeling a bit more comfortable with their current topic. It was a lot safer than talking about raccoons, or rather, how cute L was. They were back to the plan, back on track. “Are there any leads or anything else that could be useful to us? Anything that could lead to finding any suspects?”

“Well.” L appeared he was back to business, the expression on his face a bit more serious. There was no more hint of a smirk, at the very least. “Given the current information, it appears that we now have three or four potential suspects already.”  

“Seriously?” Keiko’s eyes widened in amazement. She knew Wedy and Aiber were good, but that good? She had to admit, as relieved as she was, she was also quite impressed. It had only been a few days since the exchange, and she was certain there were lots of people in and out of the company building the day of Misa’s photoshoot. “Three to four suspects already? Uh, wow. Are they sure?”

“Yes, they’re sure. They know what they’re doing, so we should be back on track. This is very good news for us, we’ll have a lot to work with. And having a small list of suspects will make it that much easier for us to narrow it down even farther. I’m sure we’ll figure out who this new Kira is soon. As I said before, do not worry too much.”

“Yeah yeah, of course. You’re right as usual, which is a complete shock,” Keiko smiled as she moved her chair slightly closer to the detective, eager to get a peek at those papers. She was hyper aware that her legs dangled dangerously close to the detective’s. If he was affected by her sudden movements, he didn’t show it. 

“Yes, I’m aware. I’m always right,” L had returned to his teasing tone, his lips curling ever so slightly again. It appeared that the smirk was back, and his eyes were shining a little, “I feel like we’ve been over this topic many times.”

Keiko didn’t bother stopping herself from rolling her eyes this time, but she was not as annoyed as she let on. Instead, she could feel a warmth tingling in her stomach. It was a bit refreshing that this teasing was in light of good news, not anything embarrassing. “Right, right, right. I should always remember that. So, tell me, who’re the suspects?”

L gestured to the multitude of papers sitting below him. “Well, you could listen to me talk for hours, but to sum it up, there’s more detailed information in these reports.”

“Right.” Keiko moved to grab the papers, but was stopped when she felt something brush against her fingers. Her cheeks flamed as she realized their current predicament, the detective had already been in the process of handing over said papers to her. Their collision was like a bolt of electricity that ran between the two of them. It was over almost as soon as it had begun, as Keiko hastily grabbed the papers out of his hands. Despite her awkwardness, she found herself wanting more, his touch was far too brief for her taste. The detective froze for a moment, but dropped his hands as soon as Keiko had the papers safely in her hand. Keiko wished she could go back for more, to touch his hands, to feel the warmth of his body directly. 

But alas, that’s not a very good idea. 

“Do you…” Keiko somehow found herself wondering aloud. However, unlike the detective and his question the other night, she stopped herself. It took a lot of self control, but Keiko found she had already humiliated herself enough in one night. The question, though unspoken, resonated within her. It was something she had been asking herself a lot lately, what with all of his odd behavior around her. Though she did not speak, it was on the tip of her tongue. 

Do you feel the same way I do…?

“Yes?” 

Though she hadn’t meant to, she had once again garnered the detective’s undivided attention. She hoped she wasn’t as transparent as she felt. It wasn’t like L knew what she was about to ask him, right? There was no way he could’ve guessed, or so she hoped. It could’ve been about the case. 

Right, the case. That probably makes the most sense, he probably doesn’t suspect…? Just the case, nothing more to see here. It’s not like you’re almost all I think about lately. Not like that at all. 

“Nevermind.” 

“If you insist.” She heard him reply as she buried herself in the papers that now lay in front of her. Keiko skimmed through the information inside them, and the silence between them grew louder and louder. It appeared the detective had no issues in glancing over at her as she read through the new briefings. She could feel his eyes, his gaze upon her once more. 

He’s been staring a lot lately…ever since I sat down, it feels like he’s been watching me this whole time. What does that mean? Am I just imagining it? It doesn’t feel like I am, he’s still looking at me right now…

Keiko let out a small hum as she poked through their new list of suspects. She did not look up at the detective, though she had been tempted. It was better to not meet his gaze, not when she felt like this. Not when he was already this close to her, with those eyes of eyes staring her down. “Huh, that’s interesting…”

“Yes, I thought so, too,” L was quick to reply. 

“So there are two prosecutors, one businessman, and one part-timer whose family is influential in politics…they believe one of these men is our guy?”

“Seems likely, yes.”

“Mmm,” Keiko gave a small chuckle. Despite the tension between them, this was welcome news. This meant that they would be that much closer to finding this new Kira.  “Well that’s good…one step closer to the end, I suppose.”

“Wedy is surveilling them carefully and will continue to report any suspicious activity that’s found, and all of the feeds and wiretaps will also all be sent to me to look at whenever possible. This’ll all be done in private. When the time is right, Aiber will approach in secret to apply some pressure to this new Kira. If all goes well, he’ll slip up somehow. At the very least he’ll start to feel cornered. Of course, we’ll need to narrow some things down first. That’s important, we need to be sure that we have the right man. Then we can continue on with the rest of the plan. As far as the Task Force goes, we’ll continue to investigate as normal and we’ll narrow down suspects with them as well. If possible, we should find potential leads so that they can also discover who this new Kira is naturally. That way we won’t have a need for two separate investigations anymore, and we’ll still find a way to connect it all to Light behind the scenes…well, I digress, I suppose I’m preaching to the choir. But, in the meantime, Wedy will keep us updated. She’s keeping an eye on all of them.”

“Hm, Wedy will have her hands full it seems…” Keiko trailed off for a moment. She was deep in thought as she mentally went over their plans once more. Things seemed to be going in the right direction. “Is there anyone you suspect right off the bat?

The detective paused for a moment. “Well, based on previous activity…Kira isn’t likely to care about influence. That doesn’t seem to align with his character very much, though we cannot entirely rule it out quite yet, of course. Same with the businessman, it doesn’t appear that goes with his values. Given the current information and with what I know about Light-kun, I’d say it’s likely that our man is one of the two prosecutors. In fact, I’d say it’s highly likely, probably over 70% likely. No, it’s probably over 90% likely. I’m almost certain it’s one of the two prosecutors, so that’ll be my main focus.”

She gave a soft hum in agreement at his words, knowing Light…well, it all makes sense. It’s weird to try and think like him, but…he’s still Kira, or acting as Kira…it’s easier to think of them as separate, but…right now, that’s not possible.

“Of course,” Keiko swallowed. Even though it appeared they were in a good position, it was still possible that things could all change on a dime. There were still a lot of anxieties that plagued her. A lot of worries, including the most obvious one that was sitting right next to her. “The plan is all coming together, I hope…”

Hope is all I have left…things have to work out, right? We’ve been working towards the end for so long, and now it’s finally in sight…but will it truly be okay? Or rather, will L be okay?  

“Are you doing alright?” L’s sudden question threw her off guard. His voice made her realize just how close the two of them were. He was leaned forward in his chair, their bodies now closer together than ever. Something that she was hyper aware of, though she tried not to appear flustered. He was mere inches away, within touching distance. Within kissing distance. The memory of their previous kiss was still lingering in the background of Keiko’s mind, despite her trying to push those thoughts away. 

“Y-yes,” Keiko was quick to reply, hoping she wasn’t too obvious. She wanted to look away, but she found herself transfixed, unable to move. If she moved, she wasn’t sure what she would do. She couldn’t trust herself, not around L. Especially not around L when the two of them were alone together at night. 

“Are you sure?” The detective was close to her, so close that she could feel the heat radiating off his body once more. Except this time, she could also feel the heat from his breath as it hit her cheek. If she moved, they would be touching.

Too close. Too dangerous. Too risky. 

Keiko let out a shaky breath, “I’m as alright as I can be.”

Trust me. You’re truly making me go crazy here. 

This response seemed to satisfy the detective, as he gave a small hum in response. Keiko had expected him to finally move away, but instead he stayed close to her. In fact, he seemed to be moving even closer, their chairs nearly knocking into one another. However, neither of them flinched, neither moved away. 

Uh oh…

Unsure of what to do or what she was even expecting, Keiko closed her eyes. She had to admit, she was nervous, yes, but she couldn’t ignore that excitement that was also bubbling up inside her. There was a pause, perhaps even a little hesitation, but moments later Keiko could feel the detective’s fingers dancing around her own. 

What? What’s he doing…?

“Hm?” A little surprised, Keiko looked down at the welcome yet shocking intrusion below her. His hand was a little clammy, which made Keiko wonder if he was nervous, but she let him slowly intertwine their fingers together. They were holding hands, and yet, Keiko found herself wanting more. His touch, though a little awkward, was somehow magnetic. 

“L,” Keiko’s voice was soft as she looked up at the detective. To her utter lack of surprise, he was staring at her. He had that look in his eyes, the one that kept Keiko wondering just how he felt about her. If things were dangerous before, they were even more dangerous now, but Keiko still couldn’t peel herself away. If L was acting like this with her, it had to mean something more, right? 

“This raccoon cares about you a lot, you know,” L murmured. His voice was quiet, yet somehow still loud enough to make Keiko’s heart beat even faster. His grip on her fingers tightened, giving her hand a light squeeze. 

Is this…almost like an answer to my question…? He’s not just toying with me, he genuinely must have real feelings for me, right? Feelings that are more than friendship…? More than whatever we are currently?

All Keiko could focus on was how they were still holding hands. It appeared he wasn’t about to let go anytime soon, which was something she was grateful for. for. The feeling of his hand around hers was sweet, and hearing his kind words was even sweeter. Especially for someone who never showed affection. “I care about you too, L. A lot.”

Is he…embarrassed? No, not only that…I think he’s actually…blushing…cute. Does this mean I have the power of making the world’s greatest detective blush? Oh my gosh. Despite how annoying he can be, he still manages to make me feel like this. Being with him is one of the few times I’m genuinely happy lately, whether he feels the same way or not. I just want to be around him. 

It was faint, but Keiko swore she could see the faintest of color painting the detective’s cheeks. Keiko knew she was also blushing like mad, but it was reassuring to finally see her having some effect on him, too. It gave her hope, hope that would help give her the strength to continue on and face the rest of the investigation. However, for the moment, she wanted to enjoy her time alone with the detective. 

“He doesn’t deserve you, you know that, right?” L’s voice broke through the silence that had enveloped them. 

“Hm?” Keiko wasn’t sure if she heard right for a moment, or if she was just hearing what she wanted to hear. This whole moment was a dream, something she hoped she wasn’t about to wake up from anytime soon. She was almost tempted to pinch herself to check, but even with her sleeplessness, she had a feeling that this was real. This was really happening between the two of them. 

“It’s true,” he continued on, his eyes searching her own. There was a desperateness to his voice, a sense of urgency. He spoke fast, as though he wanted to get the words out before he changed his mind. “You’re too good for him. I…I wanted you to know that. What you’re doing for the investigation…no, what you’re doing for me, it’s unfair to you. I’m sorry.”

Keiko’s smile faltered as she thought about the situation. She had the feeling he hadn’t exactly planned to say this, but she was glad that he seemed to be opening up to her. Despite everything, she felt better than she had for a while. It was all because of the detective, because of L. With him by her side, even if only late at night, she felt renewed. 

“Don’t be sorry, L, it’s not your fault. It was my choice.”

Does he worry it’s all his fault? It’s more so my fault, for falling for him. For feeling like this, for everything. It was all my decision. This whole crazy plan, me fake dating Light, this risky set up. He was my decision.

“If I had it my way…” the detective trailed off, looking more nervous than Keiko had even seen before. He let out a breath before finally continuing on. It was as though he had come to a decision. His voice was a lot more stable as he spoke this time. “If I had it my way…I’d want you to be with me…”

“L…” Keiko was speechless, which wasn’t exactly a first. However, this time, it was for a multitude of reasons. All of which having to do with the raven haired detective who was sitting right next to her with his hand intertwined with her own. 

Well, I suppose that answers that question…does he truly feel that way? About me? Does that mean he really…does like me…? No, it sounds as though…as though he’s in love with me…oh my god…is he really…? Does L…?  Does L…love me…? It sounds as though…I can’t believe it… there’s no way…he may care for me a lot, but love…? Isn’t that just my wishful thinking talking? 

A million thoughts swirled about in her head, and she felt like her heart was about to explode. No, scratch that, it had already exploded. Her heart was now a puddle on the floor of the room, Keiko felt like she was somehow on top of the world. Despite how prepared she felt she was, the detective’s next words were enough to make Keiko melt into the floor with it. She was a mess, but she had to hear what he was about to say.

L looked deep in her eyes, and although he seemed nervous, he didn’t falter once. He was serious, his hand still squeezing her own. “It’s not an ideal time, but, I suppose to be entirely transparent, I have strong feelings for you, Keiko Kagami…in fact, I think it’s safe to say, I’m in love with you…I have been for a while now.”

The world’s greatest detective is…he’s in love with me…?!!

[bellmo15-blog]

Here we are! The final bit of art I got between the time I originally letf Tumbler because of there whole NSFW ban and my return upon them changing there policy. Mikaela dressed as everyone's witch waifu herself, Bayonetta! If you have been following my posts since my return to this place let me just start off by saying thanks for putting up with the daily uploads I've done so far. To be honest though, considering my alternative was just uploading ALL of my commisioned pics in a single day this was the better choice lol.

Original description: Surprising no one, the girl of my cast I’ve made out to be the massive Bayonetta fan and also has a massive love for dressing up I’ve gotten a pic of her dressed as Bayonetta! And also because Bayonetta 3 is only like two weeks away from being released and I am so excited for it to come out! I’ve made it no secret recently though some of my status posts that Mikaela really loves Bayonetta and considering I based a lot of Mikaela of myself of course I do to! However, Mikaela loves Bayonetta just a bit more than me. I mostly had it like this because I thought it’d be a fun parallel to me loving the Devil May Cry series since the Bayonetta series IS a spiritual to the Devil May Cry series and was even created by Hideky Kamia. So what better way to show her love for it than dressing up as her? I guess this also counts as a good Halloween themed pic since Bayonetta IS a which after all and witches are associated with Halloween… HEY maybe that’s why Bayonetta 3 comes out this month!!!

It was hard to pick which of her default designs I loved more though because I love all three for different reasons. Her original design because it’s that classic skin-tight cat suit that of course I’m going to have a fondness for. Her second look in 2 I love because of the nice and tight leggings and also I just prefer her hair in this. And her most recent look in Bayonetta 3 I love because it feels like a cross between her original look and a really fancy looking dress. Honestly, I almost went with having her dress in her Bayonetta 3 look just because it felt like it would have been appropriate. But nah, I’m going her Bayonetta 1 look now because I’m feeling that the most. Honestly, if I were to commission this any other day it might have been one of the other two looks. Either way, here’s my girl dressed as the which herself and I can’t wait for Bayonetta 3.

Mikaela: Neither can I!!!

Yes, I think we all know your looking forward to this game just as much. I mean, you’re still wearing Bayonetta’s outfits as I write this.

Mikaela: You mean like how your also wearing Jeanne’s Bayonetta 2 outfit as your writing all this?

*Blushes.*

Artist is VanesaRubberArt.